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diyunho · 7 years ago

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The Joker X Reader- “The Birthday Present”

Your birthday is 2 weeks away and The Joker closed down and sealed the hideout he owns in downtown Gotham. It’s heavily guarded too. Why the precautions? Because he doesn’t want you to get inside: J said all your presents will be kept there and you will only be able to see them when the time comes.

Something I made: a quick story for iraniq, but anybody can read and enjoy :) Happy Birthday girl! <3

Jerk, he knows how curious you are! Like, he must have a million things stashed away in that huge building and you just kind of want to have a general idea on what’s going on. The anticipation is killing you and Y/N is definitely not legendary for her patience!!!!

You innocently try to sneak indoors, but Frost stops you at the entrance:

“You can’t go in and you know it.”

“Ummm…J sent me to grab some guns and…”

“There are no guns in there,” Frost cuts you off, cracking his neck. “Go home, Y/N!”

You pout, softly kicking his shin and giving the other men a mean glare but step away, plotting to return.

At night, you crawl through the air conditioning ducts and manage to make it to the hallway. From there, it should be a piece of cake getting inside the warehouse, even if it’s pitch black.

The lights suddenly flickering and turning on make you jump. You’re busted: Frost, Panda and the Shark walk towards you while you back out.

“Nice try, Y/N, go home! Does Mister J even know you’re here?!” Jonny gives you a nudge outside and all the other henchmen close the heavy metal doors behind you.

“J sent me, OK??!!” you stump your foot, aggravated. “Let me in! He needs a bunch of items and…” “You’re lying,” you hear Panda snort and it pisses you off.

“You’re all fired!! Fired!!!!” you shout, wanting to strangle somebody.

“Nope, don’t think so,” Jonny replies and instructs the others: “Patrol the perimeter 24/7. Mister J warned us his woman will try to get to her presents and it’s simply not happening.”

“I heard that!” you scream from the other side of the wall. “You guys suck! I hate you all !!!!!!!” you bang at the door and since they don’t care about your meltdown the Joker’s girlfriend decides to leave.

But not for long since you return two hours later, climbing on the roof thanks to the fire escape ladder. Slowly and carefully walking towards the opening in the ceiling so you can climb down and…

“I’ll be damned, it’s Cat Woman!” Frost lights up a cigarette in the darkness, leaning against the very opening you are trying to use to slip in the accursed hideout.

You frown, unhappy.

“Go home to Mister J, Y/N. He is probably asleep and you creeped out, hm?” Jonny calls on your strategy, blowing smoke up in the air.

“He actually sent me to…” “Bullshit,” Frost chuckles, amused at your persistence. Not that he wasn’t expecting that.”Come on, it’s cold, go home.”

Well that’s irritating so you walk in front of him, slap the cigarette out of his hand then step on it, defiant.

“What do you think about this, Frosty?” you get in his face and he calmly takes out another cigarette out of his pocket.

“No worries, I have more,” he winks and you turn around, letting out a frustrated scream. “Hey, Y/N, you can take the stares, no need to use the ladder.” “I do what I want, alright?!” you huff, climbing down the same way you climbed up.

Once you are back at the Penthouse, you return to the master bedroom, waking up The Joker with your impatient wiggling.

”Where were you?” he yawns, pulling you in his arms. “Were you trying to get inside?” J smirks with his eyes closed.

You didn’t even hear the question.

“J…? Can I see what you got for me? Just a very quick pick?” “No, you bad girl, I told you can’t see all that stuff until your birthday and that’s it.”

“I’ll be suuuper niicceeee,” you bite his lower lip and he finally opens one eye.

It gives you hope.

You slide your hand down his abs, lower and lower and… J takes your hand, kisses it and hides it under his pillow, keeping it there.

“No, there’s nothing you can do. Period.”

Hope is smashed to pieces.

You can’t even sleep at night. My God, all those presents! You are a very curious person so the 2 weeks feel like ages. You had a lot of failed attempts to get inside the hideout. Nothing worked. A compete disaster, just like your sanity after the cruelty you were subjected to. The secrecy is killing you.

Hope is dead.

Yet, somehow you made it to your birthday.

The Joker is finally taking you to the hideout; you notice he is bundled up under his fur coat, but it’s cold and almost snowing so maybe that’s why.

You feel goosebumps on your skin, almost fainting as he slides the huge door open. You take a deep breath, walk inside and…the humongous warehouse is completely empty.

“Huuuhhhh?” you look around, confused. “Where are my presents, J ?!”

Your boyfriend takes off his heavy coat, tossing it to the ground. And now you notice a few present bows on his sleeves.

“I’m your birthday present, woman! I am wearing 4 pairs on boxers, 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts and they are buttoned up to the very last button ! Buttoned up, Y/N ! Do you know how hard it is for me to button up my shirts?!” What the hell is this? you think, not sure if you are disappointed or not.

“I am your gift and you can unwrap me now. You have plenty of layers to get rid of,” J passes his fingers through his green hair, full of himself. “I figured there’s nothing more than my woman wants besides, you know…me! Happy birthday, now unwrap Daddy! Come on, don’t be shy,” he growls and you smile, approaching.

“Wow, baby, you buttoned up your shirts for me?!” you begin to unbutton the first shirt, actually smitten with this part since you know he hates doing that.

“I did.”

“You must really like me,” you giggle, kissing him.

“Maybe…Probably not though,” he snarls. “Hurry up, I’m so hot with all these layers!”

You violently yank at his pants, now truly immersed in your birthday project.

“Watch the crown jewelry, woman. Be gentle!” he bickers while you fight with the buckle.

You don’t even pay attention anymore, enjoying unwrapping The Joker like the nice present that he is.

Wow, he sure is wearing a lot of clothes and pilling layer after layer actually feels satisfying.

“J, you really didn’t get me anything else?” you whine, almost ripping the first pair of boxers.

“I said be gentle, that’s valuable merchandise I have in here, ok? ” he points at his crotch and continues. “Of course I got you a bunch of other presents and they are hidden right under your nose at the Penthouse. You were too busy obsessing about this place, I know how you work!” J praises his skills, delighted.

You frantically kiss him, impatient to get back home to see your presents and he purrs, triumphant.

Hope is restored.