#I was already listening to somber music this DID NOT HELP

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Was scrolling through my Imprisoning War writing to do something, and just...

Link rolled his eyes, only mildly exasperated. “Fine. It’s all his fault anyway.”

“Damn right it is.” “But I… I mean… us…”

The air grew thick, and the two grew quiet. Then, softly, Link tried to ask, “Do… do you still…?” “Do I still what?” Hemisi pressed impatiently, reaching for her drink. “Speak up, goofball. Remember when I used to tell you that when we were first dating? My gosh you were such a quiet, timid little thing.” “I wasn’t timid,” Link huffed. “Just not used to being allowed to speak.” “Well that’s stupid.” “Unlike you, I was just a guard, not royalty.” “Different now, isn’t it?” Link sombered again. “Yeah. It is.” Then he looked her dead in the eye. “I still love you.” Hemisi nearly choked on her spit, breath ripped out of her. What the— What was she even supposed to say to that?! Well. If she was sober she’d probably contemplate that more. Instead, she just said, “I still love you too.” Link blinked. “…O-oh.” Hemisi laughed so hard her ribs hurt. “Oh? That’s all you have to say? You’re hopeless! Did you really think I hadn’t? What, just because you said ‘no’ and I respected that you thought that was it?” Link blubbered, flustered, cheeks far more flushed than they were a moment ago. “I get it,” Hemisi interrupted his pathetic attempt to formulate words. “You love Hyrule more.” Link’s stuttering ceased, and he watched her with a clear gaze. Then he sighed, looking away, eyes distant. “I… yeah.” Hemisi’s heart ached, but it also swelled. His selflessness was one of the reasons she loved him so much. She just… had never imagined it would come between them. “Hyrule has a good Hero.” Link’s lip wobbled a little, eyes growing glassy, alarming the Gerudo chief a little. He looked at her a moment, eyes pleading, desperately fighting for control, but the alcohol was preventing it from happening, and the tears trickled down his face. “Oh, love,” Hemisi said, hearing her own voice tremble, and she walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. “I know.” “I’m sorry,” he cried quietly, words thick and choking in his throat. “I’m sorry.”

WELL FINE THEN I DIDN'T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY NOW I'M SAD

Why do I do this to the blorbos myself

[phas3d]

Famous!s/o Makes A Song About Him | Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: sexual hints (mattheo)

contains :: draco, tom, matt, theo, lorenzo

summary :: you're a rising pop star, similar to sabrina carpenter/olivia rodrigo and you dedicate a song to them

notes :: heavy inspo from @goldsainz and their writing for f1 drivers! i've been binge reading all of their stuff pls go read it :) they're lowkey inspiring me to make my own f1 page LMAOOOO

DRACO MALFOY "i know i have good judgement, i know i have good taste" - please please please by sabrina carpenter

He listens to the sing intensely, he's enjoying it but you can't read his face properly - thank god you were performing on stage so you couldn't look at his judgy face

But as you keep singing and poking jokes at him, he can't help but break his strong stare and chuckle. He hated admitting that you were funny, but goddamnit your fans just recorded him laughing and blushing

Once you finish performing, he smiles happily and cheers. He can't help but continue to laugh and shake his head from his own shock that YOU, the (y/n) who's famous, beautiful, and talented, is singing a song about HIM???

He'd never admit that all out loud, but you could read him so easily, you knew he was wrapped around your finger

Once your performance is over he greets you backstage with a smile that he's desperately trying to hide

"The song was a solid 8/10" he says as you scoff at him, you could tell he loved it and was too much of a wuss to admit it

And you were right, he has that song on REPEAT - he probably gave you like a million streams on his own

TOM RIDDLE "my baby, here on earth - showed me what my heart was worth" - my love mine all mine by mitski

When he first heard it, he's shocked that it's so somber and slow compared to your usual upbeat songs

He's even more shocked when he hears the lyrics and how simple yet impactful it is, it almost makes him blush

Tom has always been a sucker for poetry and music with simple instrumentals, so when you combined those both into this song he felt so loved

Once you finish performing it for the first time, he can't help but smile to himself, looking at the floor and putting his hand over his mouth to mask his happiness

When you finally come back stage, he walks up to you and hugs you tightly - despite PDA being literally vomit worthy for him

It surprises you so much, you weren't even aware you could have this impact on the cold-hearted Tom - but you did and you loved every second of it

Your song plays on repeat for him constantly, it reminds him that he's loved. He's never ever felt that in his entire life, even from his own brother

The song healed a small part of his deeply broken heart and soul, and he's so grateful for you to bring him even the slightest bit of joy, especially because he knows how difficult he is at times

MATTHEO RIDDLE "the boy is mine, i cant wait to try him, lets get intertwined" - the boy is mine by ariana grande

The second he hears the song and the lyrics, he's smirking and feeling so confident. The entire song is just basically flexing that he's yours - but he feels like he should be the one singing about you like this

Everything about the song is suited to match him perfectly, the beats, the sexual lyrics, even the choregraphy is amazing to him - it's like a perfect art piece just for him

Once you finish recording it, he's left dumbfounded and just smiling. It doesn't help that you send him a wink as well, making his already rapid heart beat even faster

After you finish the entire show, he can't get his hands off of you. He kisses you everywhere, does every command you ask of him, and drives you home at 100 mph

He wants to reward you :)

THEODORE NOTT "when i talk to you, oh cupid walks right through and shoots an arrow through my heart" - from the start by laufey

This song was basically a confession to him, which you hoped he wouldn't notice, but he did instantly and he loved every second of it

He had zero clue you had feelings for him, and vice versa. You guys were both known as the oblivious slow burn couple but you both were clueless to this rumor

Once you perform it live on stage, he decides to steal a random bouquet of flowers from a fan and run backstage to greet you

He gifts you the stolen flowers and smirks, "If you love me just say so," He says with a cocky grin on his face

Before you can tell him to shut up and stop stroking his ego, he leans down to your height and gives you a peck on the lips - making both of you blush

"Once you're done performing, how about we go on a little date" He says with a cute smile, making it impossible to say no

But he lied - that date was not "little" and instead one of the fanciest restaurants ever that he paid extra to play your entire debut album over and over for all the patrons to hear

He's your biggest fan ever and posts your song about him everywhere, literally fucking everyone god he can't stop

LORENZO BERKSHIRE "tangled in love, stuck by you from the glue" - glue song by beabadoobee

Oh my gosh he's already your biggest fan boy ever, so when you sing this song as a surprise gift for him - he's freaking out and shaking against the barriers

He bites his lip and smiles as you sing this cheesy love song about him - he's never had his ego been this inflated and he loves it

Once you finish singing, he screams and shouts so loud that even your die hard fans start to judge him

But he doesn't care and he runs backstage so fast you'd think he's the Flash. He waits backstage for you like an excited puppy waiting for their owner. You could almost see his tag wag from how bright his smile is

The second you walk off the stage, he hugs you tightly and covers you in a thousand kisses - your makeup artist won't be happy but you don't care

"Ohmygosh!!! I love it! I love you! You're so sweet! Ohmygosh!!! The hottest EVER just wrote a song about me!!! A happy little love song!!! Is that the song you've been practicing for so long? Why did you never tell me-" You laugh and shut him up with a kiss on the lips and then another one on his cheek - giving him a kiss lipstick mark on his face

He understands you need to go back and perform so he leaves

Oh, also he doesn't remove your kiss :) He keeps it there the wholeeee night

[goldenempyrean]

Should've Worn A Coat

〚 Day 18 - “Wear your coat, you’ll catch a cold” 〛

〚 Pairing - Lena Luthor x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - Your girlfriend had told you to wear a coat - you didn't. 〛

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“What am I going to do with you sweetheart? Eh?” Lena sighed, lathering up the shampoo as she softly ran her hands through your hair, carefully washing it. 

“You could kiss me and make me soup?” You giggled feverishly, as you looked over your shoulder to see Lena raise an eyebrow and shoot you an ‘are you kidding me’ sort of look. 

In her defence she had warned you this would happen. Her exact words had been “Remember to wear a coat, you’ll catch a cold otherwise.” But did you wear a coat? Nope. Instead, you had gotten thoroughly soaked and chilled to the bone, leading you to where you were now. 3 days later, sniffling and miserable as both you and Lena sat on the floor of your steam filled shower in an attempt to clear up your sinuses. 

With a playful smirk, Lena leaned closer, her lips hovering near your forehead. "Well, since you asked so nicely," she said, planting a gentle kiss on your feverish forehead. You couldn't help but grin happily, “Next time you’ll listen to me though, won’t you?” 

You nodded weakly, a contented sigh escaping your lips as Lena continued to wash your hair with tender care. The steam from the shower seemed to be finally doing wonders for your stuffy nose, and you could finally breathe a little easier. 

Lena's fingers continued to massage your scalp, her touch soothing and loving. "I will, I promise." you whispered, your voice still a bit hoarse round the edges. 

She chuckled softly, the sound like music to your ears. "That's what I like to hear." Lena leaned in, her lips brushing against your earlobe. "And as for the soup, it's already simmering on the stove. You'll have a nice, hot bowl waiting for you when we're done here." 

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[elliebyrrdwrites]

Short Drabble (Dramione AU)

transition for setting change!

The night was dusted with twinkling lights across a dark clear sky. The rain, so far, had passed. The chill had not, and in fact, had grown stronger. Draco did his best to ignore the cold that threaded its way through his coat and into his bones as he smoked his second cigarette since he had arrived. He was full of nerves and while the tobacco helped some, it didn't quiet his mind completely as he waited. 

For fifteen minutes, he waited and smoked outside of the Coffee Shop. He was starting to get lightheaded, listening to the soft, somber music as he watched her clean up the shop. The music helped to distract him from what he was about to do.

But when she stepped out to lock the door, there was no more music playing. No more milk frothing. No more coffee stains on wooden tables. It was just her in a little red dress with white flowers. Her and a black overcoat that looked like she’d had it for ages. Her hair was sleeker, pulled halfway up, fully exposing the heart shaped face, dotted with cinnamon freckles. Her pouty mouth stood out, the color of her lips darker. As if red lipstick had been applied early on. Only to fade into a delicious color that made Draco want to touch them. 

And gone were those slip resistant loafers. In their place was a pair of white saddle shoes. 

Perfect for dancing

“You’re late.” Her words tumbled from her lips when she spotted him leaning against the yellow taxi. He was taking one last, long drag of his cigarette as he watched her approach, her little beaded purse slung over her shoulder. “I mean,” Her cheeks flamed bright red as Draco pushed away from the automobile and flicked the cigarette to the gutter. “What are you doing here?”

With a smirk, he allowed himself the luxury to drag his eyes over her. The buttons at the chest of her dress pulled the fabric tantalizingly tight over her bosom and the skirt ended several inches above her knee. He had to wonder how she managed to get any work done in the thing. 

“You look lovely.” 

If possible, her cheeks darkened as she lowered her eyes to her feet. “Thank you.” He couldn’t help but wonder if she had dressed up for him, knowing that he would come to see her. 

“Where are you off to?” He also couldn’t help but wonder if, perhaps, she had dressed up for someone else. A thought that left a sour taste in his mouth. 

She shrugged, looking up at the clear sky. “Home.” 

Draco only now just considered the fact that she might already be taken. Perhaps she was already assigned a suitor by the Regime. Perhaps she had a secret lover. “Who is waiting for you at home, Hermione?” His voice was unintentionally affected. The words were low and rough. 

Her eyes dropped from the stars, to land on his. “Nobody, except for my cat.” Her lips lifted in a sad smirk. 

His chest expanded with relief and he combed a hand through his hair several times as he gathered his wits. “I’m afraid your cat will be waiting a little longer.”

“I’m sorry?” Her nose scrunched up as she bared her teeth in a genuine smile. 

Blowing out a breath, he shrugged. “You look too lovely to simply go home to your cat..” He opened the back door to the Taxi. “Besides,” His brow arched as he fought a smile of his own.  He held the door open for her. “I’m afraid one dance wasn’t enough for me, Hermione.” 

“What do you mean?” She shuffled closer, her fingers wrapping around the strap of her little purse. Her smile morphed into frown.

“I mean , I’d like to take you out.” His heart was pounding furiously in his chest. 

Her eyes widened and darted around the street. “That’s highly inappropriate, Officer Malfoy, don’t you think?”

He fought against a scowl. He had already considered how inappropriate all of this was. Last night, he had felt like dancing with Hermione? Having her in his arms was the most natural thing he had ever done. And that had tortured him. He had followed every rule in his life, like a good soldier. He had done everything that was asked of him and where had it gotten him? It led him here . It led him to her. She had every right to say no but.

With a sigh, he slid one hand into his trousers and rested his other arm onto the door. “What’s inappropriate Miss – ?” He paused, looking pointedly at her, waiting for a response. 

Her chin lifted. “Granger.”

“ Granger ,” Her eyes narrowed in on him as he continued. “Is for you to look as beautiful as you do and not take you out dancing. Now,” He stepped away from the door and held his hand out for her. “Get in the taxi.” 

Hermione chewed on her bottom lip and he could see all of the reasons why she shouldn’t join him run through ehr head. All of the arguments as to why she should be walking away, keeping to herself, allowing the Regime to designate who she might marry, based on heritage. But she didn’t listen to any of them. Because with a long, exhausted sigh, she rolled her shoulders back and loosened her grip on the strap of her purse. 

“Fine,” She stepped closer and allowed him to take her hand and help her into the back of the taxi. “But I expect you to get me home by sunrise, Malfoy .” 

Draco could not hide the glee in his smile at the snark in her response, nor the stubborn set of her jaw as she slid herself along the bench seat of the car. “As you wish, Granger .” He slid in beside her and shut the door. “I’ll get you home to your cat before breakfast.” 

She snorted softly in response. 

He leaned forward and spoke directly to the driver through a hole cut out of the plastic divide. “Lou’s on Sixteenth and Broadway.”

The cab driver simply nodded and put the car into gear. 

Hermione eyed him, curiously. “Lou’s has been closed for over a year.”

He looked down at her with a smile. “The restaurant may be, but the basement isn’t.” 

Her eyes widened, something bright sparking in them, Draco knew she was perfectly aware of what would be going on in the basement underneath the old lounge. 

“I hope you drank enough coffee tonight, Granger.” Draco drawled as they both eyed the dark windows of the Coffee Shop as the car pulled away. “Because you’re going to need your energy to keep up with me.” 

[walpywalpy]

//WEISS SCHNEE APPRECIATION POST//

I know. It’s not that obvious by my profile picture and my endless need to praise my queen to tell you that Weiss Schnee is my favorite RWBY character and my favorite character in general. But why? You may not have asked that but that’s not my problem because I’m gonna praise my queen to no end here. So kick back, grab your bowl of Pumpkin Petes, and listen to why Weiss Schnee is my favorite character of all time.

1. Growth

I’m going to be honest and say she wasn’t my favorite at first. She was a bratty, entitled bitch. At the time, Blake and Ruby were my favorite. And it would stay like that until halfway of Volume 3. Specifically, the scene of her and Winter. Winter was cold, direct, and militant. Meanwhile, Weiss was goofing around with Ruby by calling her a friend and rooting against her when her uncle Qrow fought Winter. I noticed that Weiss was someone who barely had a chance to grow up normally because she had high expectations thrusted upon her. Beacon was her first time breaking that. She got to get into food fights, go sight seeing with her friends, joke around with her team in battles, etc. She was no longer that entitled bitch we saw in the emerald forest. Instead, we see a girl having her chance to be free from expectations and trying to be the best teammate and friend she could possible be.

After Beacon fell, she was back to those expectations, and we saw a girl trying to survive a cruel man who didn’t care about anything but his own financial gain. However, that’s not all we got to see. We saw a girl who was formerly afraid of confronting her father and telling him what she has always held against him. After losing her title of heiress, she knew the only thing she had left to lose was her family at Beacon, so she left the home many would beg for because it wasn’t home for her. It was a prison, and she was done paying for the time that her corrupt father put on her.

That’s where she became my favorite. I personally have had problems with my parents and what they want from me. I won’t get into the details, but Weiss made me realize that I’m not alone. That I had people who would connect on that experience. She also made me realize that I did have power and control over my future. I didn’t have to follow what my parents want from me because this life is mine.

2. Music

When it comes to RWBY’s stellar soundtrack, there are very few tracks that hit me as hard as the songs written for Weiss. It’s also helped because it is likely that Weiss has sung them in canon. I won’t go into too much in detail because this post will already be as long as Yang’s hair. Just know that the opera style mixed with a somber piano that eventually turned into opera transitioning into hard rock fits Weiss so well, and I love it!

3. Relationships with Her Teammates

In Volume 1, Weiss was presented with a dilemma. She viewed herself as the perfect candidate for a leader, but Ozpin thought otherwise. She thought it was outrageous for Ozpin to think Ruby was a better choice, but Port knew her thinking was preposterous. Weiss wasn’t fit for a leader, and her teachers told her she isn’t. Instead of keeping up the fight to become a leader, she made a choice: be the absolute teammate she could be. Before I get to what that means off the battlefield, which is the kind of support many connect her being the best teammate she could be with, let me talk about her on the battlefield because I feel like that had to be brought up before I get to that. Weiss is the support of the group. Yes, she can fight amazingly on her own, but when the team is fighting as a unit, Weiss is the support. Her dust and semblance, which I believe to potentially be the best in the show, allow her teammates to bring their semblances to another level. Whether by creating space between them and opponents to catch a breath, allowing for diverse movement through her summons and glyphs, or making their position advantageous, Weiss as a support could change the tide of a fight drastically. Before she made the commitment to being the best teammate, her fighting style was very aggressive, which ended up giving her that defining scar. After said commitment, she focused on supporting her teammates on the battlefield.

Later in the show, however, Weiss would become the empathetic one of the group. If you had a problem, Weiss will probably give you a therapy session. The best example is the conversation between her and Yang. Weiss walks into the room and sits on the bed opposite Yang, silent. She lets Yang talk herself out. Even when Yang said she wouldn’t understand, Weiss listened. It’s only when Yang asked Weiss to finally speak is where she says what she wanted to say. She told her the story of her tenth birthday and the rift that was created on her birthday. She expresses her version of loneliness and how Yang’s is different. She may not fully understand Yang’s version of loneliness, but she understands that it’s there and that Blake has her own. Yang snapped back and Weiss was silent again. She then poses a question to Yang and she answers it. She explains to Yang that Blake watched the one thing she expected to happen happen. Yang expresses that she never blamed Blake and that she wanted Blake here for her. Weiss understands and also wants Blake there. Yang doesn’t believe Blake would return, but Weiss reminds her that the team is a family. Blake feels the same. They’re gonna be there for each other when the occasion arises. Then the occasion arose, and Blake wanted to prove that she was there for Yang. Yang let Blake know that although she doesn’t depend entirely on her, they’re there for each other and happy to be back together.

There’s a reason why Weiss is called the beekeeper. That conversation in Volume 5 is what propelled Bumblebee forward. As a WhiteRose shipper, I hope the same eventually happens for Weiss and her partner. Even if it doesn’t, we know Weiss will be there for Ruby because she promised to be the best teammate.

4. Design

I’m not an artist or a character designer, so I can’t go into the intricacies of her design. But I am someone with a pair of eyes, and I can tell you Weiss is beautifully designed. Out of all the initial designs, Weiss was probably the riskiest to use. Each member of Team RWBY had a defining feature that stood out. Blake’s ribbon from her weapon, Yang’s golden hair, and Ruby’s red cape. Weiss, however, didn’t have much. If I remember correctly from Ein Lee’s notes in the Mirror Mirror anthology, this allowed him to add intricate designs to Weiss. Her sleeves, for example, have an intricate pattern. Her glyphs change depending on what she’s doing with them. Most importantly, however, she is asymmetrical. She ties her hair to the right instead of the dead center as an act of defiance from her father. Her scar, which is even asymmetrical in her eye, keeps her face symmetrical. You’d think that a character so prim and proper would emphasize being symmetrical, but she is proof that beauty isn’t reliant on symmetry. As the Yellow Trailer states, “Scathing eyes ask that we be symmetrical, one sided, and easily processed. Yet every misshapen spark’s unseen beauty is greater than it would be judgement."

5. Me as a Person

I can praise a character until the end of time, but that won’t prove one thing: why is she my favorite? As stated before, I connect with her struggle, but that can’t be it. I mean, I connect with Mirabel’s struggle in Encanto, yet Rapunzel is my favorite Disney protagonist. Weiss’ struggle is only a fraction of why she is so near and dear to my heart. For that, I have to get into who I am. I am an aspiring writer and RWBY is the reason for that. It is the show that changed the directory of my life, and I don’t think that would be possible if the show didn’t have Weiss.

What Weiss means to me is a second chance. Her life is full of second chances. A second chance to be a better teammate. A second chance to be a better sister. A second chance to prove herself and uphold her family name. I mess up in life. A lot. I have been dealt some of the worst hands and I have to deal with it. My family isn’t kind to my aspirations, my sexuality, or my religious beliefs (or lack thereof). What can I say, some believe in fairy stories and the ghost that they can’t see. Weiss is in many ways who I want to be. She’s confident. She’s determined. She’s always in pursuit of improving herself. She isn’t perfect, but she doesn’t have to be. I’m not perfect, but I don’t have to be.

We’re not perfect, but we don’t have to be. Our lives aren’t over by one misstep. We can pick ourselves up and keep moving forward. We will fail over and over again, but it isn’t the end. We just have to get up and give it 110% the next time.

That’s what Weiss Schnee means to me: a second chance to prove myself and be the best version of myself.

Guys, thank you for reading. I hope you took something from this and that you have a wonderful day. Peace.

[yoiasa]

Recollection

For day 5 of Kanamafu week; prompt is Comfort

Kanade attempts to recall a song from a time long gone while Mafuyu listens.

this is actually meant for niigo ship week last year, i am so horribly, fashionably late

Ao3 link

____________________________________________________________

Low, soft strumming sounds drifted through the Sekai as Kanade sat cross-legged on the floor amidst a pile of music sheets scattered around her. She was leaning against one of the steel girders that comprises much of the environment in this gray, desolate world, completely focused on the guitar that was laid out across her lap.

Every instrument functions best when properly maintained, and she knew that this one especially needed it the most. She felt at ease with the activity, plucking its strings every now and then, taking her time in twisting the tuning pegs to correct any out-of-tune chords. All it needed was some slight tweaks in the two remaining strings on the topmost pegs, and then she could start playing. 

So immersed was she in her task, that she had not yet realized that she had a visitor nearby.

“Kanade?” 

Mafuyu was standing right next to her, regarding the composer curiously. When Kanade still hadn’t noticed her, she called her name once more—louder this time—and it seemed to do the trick. Kanade jerked back in surprise, making her hand abruptly brush off the strings a little too hard, accidentally creating a loud, off-key tune that made both of them wince a little. 

“M-Mafuyu, you came,” she sputtered, finally glancing up as she rubbed her neck sheepishly. “You surprised me. I didn’t notice you arrived just now.” 

“Sorry,” Mafuyu replied in her usual blank tone, but Kanade already knew her well enough to know that she was sincere about it. “But you didn’t seem to hear me when I called out to you once.”

“Then I should apologize as well, since I was busy tuning this,” Kanade said, running her fingers against the neck of her guitar. “Have you been here for long? You’re quite early today.”

Mafuyu shook her head. “Cram school finished early so I thought I would stay here for a while. I only just arrived when I spotted you nearby.” Her gaze lingered down to the instrument that Kanade was holding. It was a simple brown acoustic guitar; battered with age but was not badly damaged, and looked like it would still play well despite it.

“Didn’t you use one for the song you recently made for me? The one you have right now looks kind of…” Neglected and unused, she wanted to say, but instead just opted for, “Worn.”

“I did, but I composed that one using my own,” Kanade responded in turn. One last tweak and… there. It should now play on-tune now. She gave the strings another quick strum just to make sure. Perfect. The instrument now felt right in her hands. A wistful smile crept on her face and her voice grew somber. “This was my father’s. I stumbled upon it when I was searching for something in my room, and I thought that I’d fix it.”

When was the last time she held this, let alone played it? It feels so long ago since she hadn’t really touched this instrument at all ever since her father’s accident, due to the memories that associated with it, memories that she had buried deep within her subconsciousness to the point of forgetting about it. If it wasn't for Mizuki’s help, it would have stayed that way.

She could now remember it so clearly, recalling how she used to constantly nag her father to teach her how to play back then, even though her tiny little hands couldn’t even grasp the neck of the guitar, much less strum the chords by herself. 

Mom used to smile at our antics back then...

Kanade closed her eyes. Those times with her family were long gone, and despite the yearning to go back to the past where she was happy with her parents, not worrying about the sickness that took her mother away from them far too soon, and her father not even recognizing her on the rare occasion she managed to catch him awake during her hospital visits, she knows that she cannot bring them back. 

Nothing remains left but lingering memories of what once was…

“Kanade? Are you alright?” 

Mafuyu’s voice cracked like a whip that broke through her thoughts and brought her back to reality. Kanade met the lyricist’s gaze boring into her, and while her expression remained unchanged, she could see hints of concern in those deep-purple eyes.

I must have made her worried…

“Yes, I’m fine,” she said, giving Mafuyu a reassuring smile. “I’m just reminiscing. It’s been a long time since…”

The nostalgia for the past does seem to weigh her down, and she could feel her heart throbbing painfully at the thought of the memory, piercing and stabbing her like thorns, but Kanade didn’t try to push away the feeling. She welcomed it, because along with the pain comes a sense of warmth surging through her, which somehow eased the loss and sadness. 

“It must’ve been important to you, if you took the time to fix that…” Mafuyu said, sitting down beside her.

“It is. So many memories have been made from this,” Kanade said softly as she gently fiddled with the guitar, getting a feel for the instrument by playing some random melody from one of her past songs. “Do you remember when I told you before about the song that my dad made for me and my mom? The one that made us smile back then?” she asked and Mafuyu nodded. “I was just trying to see if I could still recall that one.”

“Is it for a new song, then?” The lyricist knew that Kanade would do anything to get her creative juices flowing so that she could keep on composing. Whether it be reading books or watching movies and anime that Mizuki would sometimes recommend to them, or going on a mystery tour or to Phoenix Wonderland despite her fear of the supernatural and not being good at crowds and the sunlight. This is no exception, if that was the case.

The composer stopped playing, biting her lower lip in thought for a moment before answering. “Well… not exactly. While it did cross my mind that perhaps I could get some inspiration out of it, I guess the main reason why I brought my dad’s old instrument out is because… I missed it.” An ache had begun to creep into her voice. “He used to let me borrow this until he bought me my own, and he would teach me how to play…”

There it is again… Seeing her expression softened to one of melancholy once more stirred something in Mafuyu’s chest, and not in a good way. Kanade looked so lost right now, dragged down by something, and it made her feel uncomfortable.

And while she may not understand it completely, she knows that there is one thing that she can do.

Kanade was lost in her own thoughts when she felt something heavy on her side. Turning around, she finds Mafuyu leaning against her, head resting on her shoulder. She doesn't say anything, but her thin, long hand reaches out for her own, intertwining their fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze.

It must have been Mafuyu’s own way of comforting her, and for that, Kanade was grateful for her presence and this simple gesture.

It felt so warm.

“Hey, Kanade?” Mafuyu glanced at her, breaking the silence.

“Hmm?”

“Do you mind if I stay here and listen to you play?”

She blinked for a moment, then smiled softly, pleased to see that Mafuyu’s showing interest. “Of course you can, Mafuyu. You’re more than welcome to. I don’t mind having an audience, otherwise I wouldn’t be here in the first place, since Miku and the others will still be able to hear this song anyway. Let me just prepare for a second.”

“Alright.” Mafuyu didn’t want to leave their already comfortable position, but she relented, as Kanade needed to focus and play properly.

Shifting into a position so that she was now facing Mafuyu, Kanade closed her eyes for a moment, and began to strum.

May my song reach Mafuyu’s growing feelings.

It was definitely not the song that her father played back then. The first few notes were still familiar to her, as Kanade could still remember them vividly, and maybe even some parts in the middle of it. But how could she integrate those parts if she could not recall the rest of it? It wasn’t the whole piece, she was certain of that. And even if she did manage to, she doesn’t think that she could even try to recreate it perfectly. She already knew that before starting to play, since it was her father’s song, after all.

That does not deter her, however. Using the foundations of the parts that she can recall of her father’s song, she then instead began to incorporate her own style into it. She let her own music guide her through, improvising as she went on playing. All the while thinking of her own family and the warm memories that they had once shared. Letting herself get lost in them and reliving the past made her glad that she remembered. She wanted to remember. These are the moments that she will treasure in her heart for as long as she lives.

It became a bit more somber in tune as a result, but she was pouring her own feelings into it while still making sure to retain the warmth from the original song.

Halfway through her performance, as her fingers danced over the strings to give shape to the notes forming in her mind, her thoughts now wandered to the girl in front of her. She took a passing glance at Mafuyu, who just sat there in silence, listening intently, transfixed by her song.

If her father once dedicated his own song to his own wife and daughter, then Kanade too will do the same. Only that, she will also dedicate this arrangement to one more person that became important to her life, so that one day she could smile and laugh just like her family did.

To Mafuyu.

She’s glad that she was here and could share this personal moment with her. She could only hope that Mafuyu would feel the same as well. 

The last notes rang throughout the empty world. Kanade let out a sigh of content as she stopped playing, the memories fading away with the music.

“How was it?” She looked up from the guitar and turned expectantly to Mafuyu. “It’s not exactly the actual song that my dad used to play but I just added my own touch to it, and…” She stopped when she saw the other girl frozen in place, her expression stunned and her left hand clutching her chest.

“Mafuyu?” Kanade placed her father’s instrument on the side and went to her, eyebrows creasing in concern. “Is something wrong? What did you-”

She was interrupted mid sentence when she felt herself being pulled closer into an embrace, arms wrapping around her body, startling her enough that she uttered a quiet yelp.

“M-Mafuyu, what-”

“So warm…” She heard the other girl say, her voice barely above a whisper.

Kanade was caught off guard, not sure if Mafuyu was referring to the song or to herself, but she eventually returned the hug, rubbing her hand on her back in gentle motions.

They stayed like that for a moment.

“How was it?” Kanade repeated her question, pulling away from the hug. “From the way you suddenly embraced me, I take it that you liked the song?”

The slight curve in her mouth and the clear light in those purple eyes present on Mafuyu’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“I’m not sure if I can convey it properly, but…” Mafuyu paused for a moment, struggling to find the words to describe the feelings she just felt.

“Go on,” Kanade encouraged, ever so patiently.

“You told me once about your father’s song before, but there’s a difference between telling and actually listening to it. Finally getting to hear it, and remembering what you said about wanting me to smile like you did... something welled up inside my chest. It felt so warm. 

“All I’m saying is…I think I liked it. I see now why your dad made that song for you and your mom. Thank you for sharing such warmth with me, Kanade."

Hearing her genuine compliment, Kanade’s heart softened, and could not hold back the little smile forming from her lips.

She’s slowly starting to feel some emotions again. She’s improving a lot, and that’s great for her.  

“Thank you too, Mafuyu. I’m glad you liked it.”

Maybe I really am saving her… I am a few steps closer. Thank you… dad.

____________________________________________________________

“Will you use this one for our next song?” Mafuyu asked after a while. She was once again resting her head on Kanade’s shoulder. 

The composer hummed in thought, then shook her head. “Maybe I’ll reuse some parts of it, but no, I think I’ll keep this one to ourselves. Why do you ask?”

The idea of Kanade sharing such a personal song to her made her chest feel fuzzy, and while she does not know the reason why, she did not dislike the feeling.

“I see. I just feel like… there’s something quite missing.”

“Oh?” Kanade met her eyes and tilted her head questioningly. “You think I should change something? I’m all ears.” 

“That’s not it,” Mafuyu said. ”Your new music is fine as it is; no need to change anything since it was from your own feelings. It’s just that… I think that I want to respond to them. Like how you once did with mine.”

Kanade’s eyes widened in surprise.

You don’t mean…

But she already knew what was coming. Warmth tingled through her when she saw Mafuyu reaching out for one of the blank music sheets nearby and took out a pen from her school cardigan's pocket.

“Can I write the lyrics for your song?”

[snowflowers-ffxiv]

FFxivWrite2024 - #9: Lend an Ear

idiom

— to listen to someone with sympathy

“So there's a light sealed inside you, is there? You wouldn't know it from the outside. You look the same as you ever did to me.”

“‘I must stay the course. For the others.”

“True enough. Packing up and going home isn't really an option, is it. If you don't face the music here, it'll only come and find you there.”

Estrild closed her eyes, counted to five, and exhaled. The little situation she found herself in with the first Warrior of Darkness was one that had taken quite some time to become accustomed to, but despite her initial misgivings, Ardbert had proven himself nothing short of respectful of her privacy. If anything, she’d come to appreciate it. It was odd, having a confidant instead of being one, but in moments such as these, she was grateful for it.

More than once, she’d wondered what it was about him that made it so… easy for her to talk to him, to let him see her vulnerable, especially considering how, when they first met, he and his friends had been trying to kill her. Perhaps it was just that she could be certain that there was nothing he could do anything about her moments of weakness as, as far as she knew, he was the only person who could see and hear him.

Perhaps it was simply because she knew he understood having weight of the world upon one’s shoulders.

“Ardbert…”

“Hm?”

“Y’shtola told me my… aether appears tainted to her. No different from that of a sin eater. When I defeated that last Lightwarden, the light was did not vanish, but was absorbed into me. I still look the same now, but what if that changes? What if… it overwhelms me?” She sighed. “There are two Lightwardens left. ‘Tis not as though I can stop now.”

“Damned if I know.” A blunt admission, but true. “It's not as if I can lift a finger to help myself, much less you. Have faith in your friends. Look out for them, and hope that they look out for you. What more can you do?”

Friends looking out for each other… She had worked with many an adventurer throughout her career, but there were none she trusted more in the heat of battle than those of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. They were her friends, weren’t they? So why didn’t she think they would reciprocate. “Was that how it was with you and yours?”

Ardbert let out a laugh, a sound that conveyed equal parts joy and grief. “It certainly was. We all looked out for each other and took care of one another. Wouldn’t have made it without them. Any of them.” His voice then became somber as he asked, “It was different for you, wasn’t it?”

Estrild nodded. “Of those brought here to the First, I am the only one who bears the Echo.”

“That’s right. You fought those primals alone.” He snorted. “Thank the heavens you were on an entirely different world when my friends and I set out. We never would have made a name for ourselves if we had been in competition with you. Though I suppose if we never made a name for ourselves, we wouldn’t be in this mess now, would we?”

Ah… Estrild could still clearly remember the words that had won them her sympathy even when they had been fighting just moments before. We did everything right, everything that was asked of us, and still—still it came to this!

Perhaps that was what she was afraid of as well.

Ardbert did not seem eager to linger on his past mistakes. “...Think he was telling the truth? Emet, I mean. All that rot about Hydaelyn being no different from any other primal... If so, what would that make Her ‘blessing’? Are we just slaves to Her will?”

Another matter swirling with her mind. She supposed this one only pertained to her as the other Scions did not bear Her blessing. “I remember my first encounter with a Primal,” she whispered. Burned into her memory forever. She would never forget the heat, the scent of ash in her lungs. The flames that demanded she kill a god or die. “When the Lord of the Inferno failed to Temper me, one of the Amalj’aa said my soul already belonged to another, but…” She remembered the members of the Immortal Flames that had been captured alongside her. How the sergeant, so ready to die an honorable death in defiance of the beastmen, had knelt in reverence to Ifrit once he had been bathed in those infernal flames had instead been put to the sword.

Estrild did not know if she could fairly judge herself or her actions on this matter, but… she could judge Ardbert’s. “You were turned against Her for a time and allied with Her enemies. Surely you would not have been able to had you been but slaves to Her will?”

“Hmm… That is a fair point…” He remained in thought for a while longer before he evidently decided to shrug it off. “Ahh─let's pay him no mind. Lies are the Ascians' stock-in-trade.”

He would know that, wouldn’t he? Estrild did not fault him for believing those lies once upon a time. When all hope seemed lost, did it not make sense for one to search for some glimmer no matter how untrustworthy the hand offering it seemed to be?

“It certainly would not be wise to take his word at face value,” she agreed for Ardbert himself had warned her to not repeat his mistakes. “I just wonder if there is some truth to it is all. It is always easy to point out hero and villain in our children’s tales, but ‘tis never that simple in reality, is it?”

“Villains, heroes─all a matter of perspective, they'd have you believe. One man's fond memory another's waking nightmare...” Ardbert’s gaze turned to her open window. “Me, I'm no saint or savior─just another sinner. And I know damn well I'm in no position to judge... When I saw the people of Slitherbough look up at the sky and celebrate the return of the dark...felt good. It was moments like that that I cherished─much more than the thrill of adventure. The quiet after the storm.” He turned back to her, smiling. “I always took comfort in that.”

She smiled back. “As do I.”

The storm will always return, eventually, but those quiet moments were why she will always brave it when it did.

And this was no different.

[tomoyanosekai]

Life Goes On ~「今」を生きる~ (Living in the "Present")

“I miss them… I just really miss all of them.”

Well… Long time no see, I suppose. It’s been over a year since I last wrote a post on this blog. For those who’re still somehow sticking with this and currently reading this new entry one year later, thank you for your time. Throughout this whole year, I’ve been trying to write various posts, but as I kept trying to write them, I found that life either took unexpected turns, or just didn’t allow me to write since life continued to happen. It was either the lack of creativity and inspiration that prevented me from posting in the prior months, or either feeling that events weren’t completely over, which felt wrong for me to write within a narrative sense; even with the year being eventful and stressful. I’ll be completely honest: even one year later, I don’t know where to begin or really know what I want to write about. But I think the thing I want to get out the most despite everything is where I’m at right now; I know that this post won’t be told in any sequential order. The more I think about where I am right now and also look back, is just a somber reminder that life is moving on. 

To be transparent: while there were a lot of great things that happened in 2023, the past year was emotionally and mentally challenging, and when all’s said and done, facing the reality of how this year played out did not allow this to be a great year. A bit of a warning: this post will not be the happiest of posts to come back to; I’m still trying to process everything. But even though it wasn’t a great year, I think I needed this time away from writing to really live in the present, take a step back and eventually look back with a bit more perspective. However, I think the more I look back and process my feelings from last year, the more uncertain I feel about my life and the future. Back when I was processing my feelings in 2015 before starting college, I wrote: 

 “No matter what, change is the hardest thing to accept or adapt to.” — Change ~Wrapping Up Summer 2015~

As I look back at the past year for 2023 as I’m writing this, I can’t help but continue to think about what I said back then. Throughout the last year,  I couldn’t help but realize or fathom that life was continually changing before my eyes already. The only way I can explain what I’m feeling without being melodramatic in any capacity is just simply: “Life Goes On.” Throughout 2023, I found myself feeling suffocated by just time and hard moments. Whether it be various trials that came from work stress without a break, the changing seasons in life for seeing friends make big decisions, worrying about my family through various unexpected trials and feeling powerless to help, feeling overwhelmed by any prospect of the future and facing it alone, facing my own inner demons accepting myself and trusting others, or even loneliness and frustration from having to let go of others: life just goes on.

At the beginning of 2023, I had the pleasure of attending a concert played by Japan’s best taiko group called Kodo. Throughout the performance, I couldn’t help but sit there and be blown away as I experienced their music. All I heard was a strong and cheerful ensemble that came from the front of the concert hall; just a small group of men and women playing their hearts out and they were able to easily change the tone and emotions felt throughout the audience as they played. I couldn’t help but sit in awe watching these people play with such raw strength and precision at the beat of the taiko, all while playing in harmony with the flute, bell, and various cheers to raise up the energy within the audience. The more I continued to listen to them and also play taiko, the more I wanted to apply that same energy and cheerfulness that they exuded from their performance and my own performances into my life. I couldn’t help but think,

“This. This is why I signed up for Taiko. I want to have that same strength and cheerfulness.”

But that begged the question as I continued to play taiko: 

“Why did I want to play Taiko so much, and what does strength mean to me specifically?”

The more I continued to listen to them and also play taiko more, there was more of a desire to apply that same energy and cheerfulness that they exuded from their performance and my own performances into my own life. Historically: the taiko drum is an instrument that was used for communicating with allies during wartime, inspiring morale in battling soldiers, but also used for celebratory events; specifically for festivals. The taiko drum in essence for me is something that can be loud and strong, as well as cheerful; bringing a smile to the faces of others during festivals. Looking back throughout many of my posts, I have mentioned that I wanted to find my own identity. However, the more I sat down and thought about it during the quiet moments seldom to the nature of taiko, I found that this desired identity was founded from the idea of personal, inner strength. I wanted to be recognized for my own strength as a person and knowing that I can have my own identity outside of my family; an honest and straightforward strength that could be strong for others, allow others to smile and be themselves, all while being myself; much like a festival. 

Despite this, throughout so many moments in 2023 such as having to see my family overcome frustrations and struggles due to my Grandmother being hospitalized for a period of time and eventually moving in with my family, seeing life move on for many of my friends who either got married or just decided to drift away and stop communicating, or just having to work through the day by day of a thankless, unfulfilling job: I couldn’t help but feel depressed. I ended up shutting myself down and isolating myself from others emotionally. I stopped reaching out to other friends since there wasn’t much response, all while being overwhelmed by fear and anxiety; suffocating from my own loneliness, self doubt and frustration.  Sure, I was living day by day, but when I saw other friends, I kept the façade up and played everything off as not a big deal, but deep down: I just wanted to cry out in frustration due to everything happening. I didn’t allow myself to do any of this since I wanted to be strong for myself and others; things only made worse as I continually observed that my life wasn’t moving forward in any productive or meaningful way, unlike other people.

But even more than all of that: all that was left was a strong hatred for myself. There wasn't much of a place for me to truly be myself and be accepted or appreciated as myself anymore; those who knew the trauma I’d experienced in the past and allowed me to be open with up until now were all mostly gone. This all came to a boil when I felt so little for myself during a long awaited family vacation to Japan with 13 other family members. While there were so many things that happened on that trip both good and bad, I found myself either feeling constantly on edge and mostly unable to be alone out of consideration for my family as I felt like I sacrificed my own mental sanity for the sake of making sure the trip was well documented as best as I could. Very simply: I couldn’t be myself or give myself the time and space alone to allow me to navigate everything healthily. But even so, it was these collective inner thoughts and self talk throughout the year that continued to collectively spiral and manifest into more self doubt and self hatred:   

“Your identity as Toku Photobiz is a waste of time and a giant loser. You’re an even bigger loser and good for nothing who can’t do anything, no matter how hard you try. Your feelings do not matter compared to the greater good and sake of everyone else; your best will never be enough.” 

But even with so many hard and dark moments that I was living through and processing, that didn’t mean there weren't good moments in 2023 either. 

" 'Pain' and 'Happiness' are almost identical when you write them in Kanji. 'Happiness' is just one stroke away from 'Pain.' At least when you endure the pain, you make somebody else happy. That’s what it takes to protect others." — Ruriko Midorikawa, Shin Kamen Rider (2023)

Even with all of this in mind, hopelessness is easy; giving up and falling into despair is easy. Although this year was a year filled with emotional isolation and keeping others out by playing a façade, God didn’t allow me to be alone in the slightest. Even though I felt lost, frustrated and lonely, I had no other choice than to continue moving forward. To look further back in 2020 for a moment, something I didn’t process completely was my loneliness while graduating from college. Something I envisioned back when graduating from college was to be surrounded by friends and feel a sense of closure by ending that chapter together. This didn’t happen due to my own failures as a student by graduating late, also mixed in with friend drama and roommate drama. Although 2023 wasn’t the greatest by a long shot, it was also a reversed reminder that I was only able to get here by repeatedly taking the stage wherever I went, and by being who I am; interests, flaws and everything. This year was a step closer toward accepting myself for who I am; a reminder that I was still surrounded by those who were still there even though many already left. Throughout some of the best moments of 2023, I was finally able to see some old friends again from College that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to, had to see some friends off into new, different adventures of their lives, make new friends at a new church where no one knew me, meet my favorite hero and become his friend, and most of all: just continue to live my life. Through everything that happened: this was a result of God opening doors for me as I lived life truest to myself.  

“We wanted the power to achieve something. We all thought that would make us adults. But… you don’t become an adult by trying. It just happens when you can no longer be a child.”  — Kouta Kazuraba/Kamen Rider Gaim, The Truth Behind the Christmas Game (2013)

As 2023 ended, I found myself at a loss with how I wanted to live going forward into 2024. Moving forward into the future and living life as a true adult still scares the crap out of me immensely; I have no vision on how I want to continue living or move forward. People come and go; just as life goes on. It’d be naive to think I can hold onto everyone even as I proceed forward living my life. But as previously written: I think I needed this time away from writing to really live in the present and accept the bad and the good as it came, take a step back and look back with a bit more perspective.

“I was trying to hang on to this moment because I was so afraid of the future, but then I realized all of this was once the future. It was completely different from what I’d known before. And it was happening so fast. But in the end, or in the now, I guess, it turned out great." — Abed Nadir, History 101 (2013)

However, the more I think back about the bad and the good, the thing I want to do most is live in the present; the “day by day,” with the reminder that life will continue to move on and straighten itself out as I trust in God. The façade and wall of isolation I put up to keep people out will eventually break down; granted I have no idea how or when that’ll happen. The direction I want to go in is one where I can continue to grow stronger, change and evolve patiently at my own pace, but also in a way where I can continue moving forward. To quote a Bible Passage that I’ve found myself focusing on more as of recently: 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” — Isaiah 43:18-19

As much as I want to go back to the old days, and as much as I truly do miss those moments surrounded by my closest friends: I can’t go back. While there's nothing wrong with looking back at everything, I can’t keep wistfully looking back at old times. Looking forward, I have no idea what 2024 has to offer; I’m still afraid in many aspects. Heck, I don’t even know when the next post will be anymore. All I know is that God will unfortunately prune people from my life, but even though I still want to hold onto the connections I have with other people, it simply just isn’t possible. But despite this, there’s one moment that I’m reminded of from August 2023 as I go into this new year; back when I met my hero Gaku Sano/Kouta Kazuraba (Kamen Rider Gaim):

“Gakkun, from here on out it’s your stage, right?” “Yeah Chad, from here on out, it’s our stage!”

Even though I feel lonely and miss the old days, I will never truly be alone.  

From here on out, it's our stage!

[elaina-writes-things]

Yes! The songs themselves are great — Dangerous is my ringtone, I love it a lot — but all together the songs, one after another, don't make a lot of sense? There's huge, emotional jumps from one song to the next that make the listening experience too disjointed in my opinion.

"Not Sorry for Loving You" is bitter, it's tragic, Odysseus and Calypso are both victims of the circumstances brought upon them. This does not excuse Calypso's actions but it does help us understand them. It sets the tone that this last leg of the journey is going to be an emotionally difficult one, but one that Odysseus is prepared to face nonetheless.

"Dangerous" is peppy! It's upbeat! It's exciting and hopeful! It's a huge change from the emotionally charged song one track ago! Let's go, Ody is on his little raft and finally making his way home after 20 very long and stressful and laborious years! Go go go!

"Charybdis" is...fine. It's a song in 5/4 tempo that's kind of about watching a sea monster drown and then finally making it to Ithaca. Oh, bet the next two songs are gonna really tie that together nicely!

"Get in the Water" is the strongest song in the set. It's a meaningful confrontation. It's a final conversation between two people who have been affected by the other's actions in an unforgivable way. Poseidon cannot forgive the slight that has been performed on his son, cannot excuse the bragging Odysseus did to rub it in his son's face, cannot do a thing but defend his son's honor because the more merciful thing to do to Polyphemus would've been to kill him rather than leave him to suffer the remainder of his life. It's also important to note that Odysseus, who lost 552/600 men to Poseidon for this exact issue already, is the one extending the olive branch. Not because he forgives him, but because Ithaca is right there. He just wants it all to stop, he just wants to go home. And Poseidon won't let that happen. He is still trying to be kind, trying to solve this calmly and peacefully so everyone can just go home, and Poseidon isn't having it, which arguably gives us the least disjointed transition into the final song.

"Six Hundred Strike" is musically very interesting. It's upbeat, it's peppy, it's filling you with adrenaline, you're jiving with it! But what a strange hop from the somber piece one track ago. Jorge is obviously very inspired by anime and that's not a bad thing to try to translate into a musical format, but it's really hard to adjust from the very vulnerable, audibly hopeful, "maybe you could learn to forgive" to an almost jaunty chanting of "six hundred men! six hundred men!"

(It's very reminiscent of the emotional jumps from "Ruthlessness," when Odysseus brokenly stammers out "what have you done" when his crew dies and then cheerily proclaims "all I gotta do is open this bag!" a minute later.)

The best part of the song is when Odysseus gets serious again. The jaunty-ness is gone, the mercy is gone, it's just a man determined to get home. The end of the song is a great segue into the Ithaca saga, which is all very thematically appropriate and full of songs that match each other's themes in a cohesive manner. The Ithaca Saga wraps everything up in a big, beautiful bow. I cried listening to the Ithaca Saga, I have no notes for the Ithaca Saga. Which is why I'm so confused about why the Vengeance Saga was all over the place.

TLDR: The Vengeance Saga is jumping around too much on the emotional spectrum to make sense to me, musically. And, yes, while I understand that this final leg in his journey back to Ithaca is the shortest one, and the saga is trying to reflect that, it really feels like somebody took five different songs from different genres and shoved 'em together. It's also incredibly confusing because none of the other sagas really do that. I don't know if Vengeance was rushed so Jorge could get everything out this year or what, but it's thematically the weakest one in EPIC. The songs themselves are not the problem, at least not stand-alone; the problem is the fact that they don't blend with each other.

Now that Epic is over, I feel there's one more secret I have to share with you all:

I did not care for the Vengeance Saga. (What?) Did not care for the Vengeance Saga.

[lost-between-letters]

Acquired Taste

Pairing: Jack Kline X Reader (she/her)

Requested by: @cherryyyangel

Word Count: 1,710

Summary: Jack discovers his love for music and Y/N discovers that having a cuddly crush sucks. (Or maybe that it doesn't at all)

A/N: remember how I asked for Jack prompts? Like a million years ago? Yeah, this is one of them, sorry that it took me so fucking long - but hey, I'm back! (We're ignoring that this fic is just three moments in a trenchcoat, okay?)

"What are you doing there?" Jack leaned down and peered over her shoulder in an attempt to get a better look at her phone.

Y/N looked up, startled by his voice cutting through the music blaring through her earphones. And his presence behind her. She could have sworn that she had been alone in the library a few moments ago. "Hm?"

"On your phone," he clarified and pointed at the list of songs she was contemplating, "what's that?"

"Oh that." Y/N stopped. Stared down at the device. Was he asking how Spotify worked or about the concept of music? "I'm making a playlist. For the next road trip."

"But Dean's choosing the music?"

Jack's forehead crinkled up cutely and Y/N had to physically stop herself from reaching up and smoothing it over. Instead she snorted once. "Yeah and it's always the same fucking three albums. No offence to AC/DC but there's only so much I can hear of back in black before I start to bite things."

"That's true." Jack nodded and pulled out a chair for himself.

Y/N swallowed the giddy feeling she got when their knees touched. Angels. No concept of personal space. That had to be it.

"And Dean's okay with your playing your own music in the car?" Jack's voice pulled Y/N from her daydreams. The second time today.

She snorted again.

"One, I don't particularly care if Dean is 'okay' with my choice of music," Y/N made air quotation with her fingers that made Jack laugh, "and two, I'm using earphones. Saves me quite a lot of headaches usually."

"That's very smart."

A moment of somber musing followed where Y/N alternated between watching Jack's face and pretending that she wasn't.

Then, Jack perked up again. "Can we share?"

"What?" Her weird staring obsession?

"The earbuds," he clarified, "I wanna know what kinda music you like."

Oh. Yeah, that made much more sense. Y/N scrambled for them, hoping that her cringing wasn't showing too hard on her face. "Sure, here."

"Thank you," Jack smiled politely and plucked the tiny bud from her fingers as if he was totally unaware of what their brushing fingers did to Y/N.

Which was mostly due to the fact that he probably was totally unaware of what their brushing fingers did to Y/N. Jesus Christ, she had to get a grip.

Then, Jack tapped her forearm excitedly and pointed to her phone. "I like that song!"

Oh, he was going to be the death of her. Why did he have to have good taste on top of everything else?

"Me too," Y/N smiled weakly when the familiar tunes of her favourite song filled her ear. At least Jack was too absorbed in his own mind to notice that her voice wasn't as cheerful as it should have been.

Having a crush sucked.

Twenty minutes into the drive, Y/N felt something poke her shoulder. Grudgingly, she pulled one earbud free and looked at Jack.

Who was smiling at her hopefully. "Can we share the music again?"

It took her a moment to remember what Jack was referring to - she had been halfway asleep already when they had entered the car. "Uh, sure."

Y/N handed her left earbud over and stifled a grin. It was just music. Nothing to get excited about.

She skipped through her playlist, rearranging and deleting a few songs that felt too off to listen to with Jack together. Too intimate, too much like baring her soul already. Not that she would say that out loud.

"Can we keep listening to the last one?" Jack asked softly when Y/N changed her mind just short of the chorus.

"Oh, sure." And really, she had to expand her vocabulary sooner or later.

It didn't help that Sam was watching them, an amused sparkle in his eyes at her fumbling. So Y/N glared at him through the rearview mirror to which he merely raised an eyebrow.

Jack - unaware of the silent argument - nodded once and scooted a little closer so that the chord of the earphones was hanging loosely between them. "Thank you. I really like your music taste."

"Thanks," she said softly, afraid that if she spoke any louder she might be squealing. Good job at playing it cool, Y/N.

It didn't get any better when Jack's head dropped on her shoulder another twenty minutes later or when he snuggled into her side like he belonged there.

She pointedly ignored Sam and Dean's glances while she tentatively relaxed against the boy next to her and drifted off.

Slowly, a habit formed from there on.

At first, the sharing-music-thing was strictly related to the long hours on the road when neither of them could stand Dean's tapes anymore.

But soon Jack got his own phone and set up his own Spotify account. He was almost constantly listening to music then, together with Y/N or on his own.

They had multiple shared playlists to which they listened to almost every waking hour. It drove Dean up the walls for some reason.

Not that Y/N cared particularly about what Dean thought about her music consumption or who she shared it with. She had to admit that it was pretty funny though to see him fume whenever he spotted the two of them connected by the chord of the earphones snuggled up on one of their beds. Which was all of the time.

"Hey Y/N," Jack was leaning against her doorframe - he was hovering uncharacteristically.

"Hi Jack." Y/N smiled and didn't even try to fight the warm feeling bubbling up. "Did you turn into a vampire or why are you waiting to be invited inside?"

Jack frowned at her (admittedly awkward) joke. "I never quite got that piece of lore. What sense would it make that a vampire couldn't get inside without explicit permission?"

"Dunno, makes you feel like you're somewhat in control?" She guessed half heartedly.

"I don't get it."

Y/N chuckled. "Yeah me neither. Did you want something Mr vampire?"

"Oh uh-" it actually looked like Jack was blushing, "-I uh wanted to show you a playlist I made."

Her heart was doing somersaults already. This is not a rom com Y/N scolded herself before her hopes could get the better of her. So she planted a friendly smile on her face and patted the empty spot next to her.

"C'mon then. Show me."

Jack smiled back somewhat nervously and sat down a little closer than she had anticipated. But again, no protest from Y/N. He nearly dropped his phone when he unlocked it though he managed to reduce the shaking to a minimum when he handed the earphones over.

Y/N was positively melting.

It got better though.

The first song in the playlist was a familiar tune - it was the one she had played for him when they had started this.

She was bobbing her head to the beat by the time it moved to the second song - a much slower one. More romantic, maybe a little cheesy but she liked it.

And Jack seemed to do so too. He was watching her intently so Y/N spoke up. "It's really good! I like the playlist."

"Thank you." Jack was still studying her, a glimmer in his eyes that she couldn't pin point.

A wave of sadness crashed into Y/N unexpectedly. Surely, Jack didn't know about the implications of making a playlist full of romantic songs for someone. Probably just had discovered them by accident and wanted to show her.

Deflated by her own mind, Y/N dropped back against the pillows, fighting to keep the smile on her face.

But something must have slipped.

Jack's expression fell. "You don't like it, do you?"

"Of course I do," she assured hurriedly, "I really like all those songs."

Somehow, that seemed to make it worse.

Jack pulled his legs up to his chest, eyes trained on his phone. "But that's not what I meant."

Colour her confused.

When he made no move to elaborate, Y/N reached forward and placed a tentative hand on his knee. "What did you mean then?"

"You don't like what I was saying with the playlist, right?"

And God, Y/N would give her left arm to wipe that expression off his face. But Jack wasn't making sense right now so she had to keep asking.

Surely he couldn't mean what she was hoping he did, right?

"Can you say it directly for me then? Maybe I like that better," Y/N tried again.

Jack just looked at her miserably. "I was trying to say that I really like you. But you don't like me back."

Dumbfounded, Y/N stared at him but Jack was already barreling on with a smile that looked closer to tears than anything else. "And that's okay! I just - I just need a moment."

And then he got up to leave.

He made it to the door before Y/N had processed what Jack just said.

Faster than she thought it possible, she had jumped up and blocked his way. It was definitely possible that she was feeling a little dizzy from the motion though.

"What do you mean I don't like you back?"

"You don't," He said but his voice was wavering, "or do you?"

"Wasn't that painfully obvious?" Y/N asked, a helpless laugh stuck in her throat, "Jesus, I've been pining for you since you dyed Dean's apron pink with me and you never noticed?"

"I didn't," Jack was looking down at her so earnestly, so full of painful vulnerability that Y/N just had to reach up and cup his cheek.

Briefly, time froze. Did she really do that? Jack's eyes were wide as saucers, maybe not as surprised by the touch itself but the intention behind it. Not that Y/N could blame him.

She was pretty sure that the last time she had had this kind of courage scraped together she had just killed her first monster.

"Can I kiss you now?" Y/N was whispering. It felt wrong to break the silence but she had to. Or else the tension might kill her.

Jack turned his cheek deeper into her touch. Reached around her waist gingerly. Tilted his chin just a fraction and let a radiant smile overcome his face. "Please."

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Jack Taglist: @sweater-weather-spn , @xoxokiaraaxoxo @theslawstee (no blog found, sorry)

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[hauerhoetime]

Tommy's Party P2

Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve listens to your message...again....and again...and again.

TW: mention of drinking and getting high

An: if you asked for a part 2 I tagged you :)

Tommy's Party P1

Steve Harrington stood with his phone to his ear as he listened to the message over and over again. This has to be the 10th time he's listened to it and this definitely won't be his last. There was something different about this listen though, this time he let himself have the illusion of conversation.

“Hey Steve, it's me. That was some party last night wasn’t it” he heard your voice come through before rushing out a response as if you could hear him.

“Hey! It’s been a while- yeah that party was crazy” he heard your breathy laugh that was a nervous habit of yours.

“You seemed to have fun- I mean you looked pretty hammered to be honest with you. I don’t know if you saw or anything but I was giving all my drinks to my friend I came with” You began to ramble and he smiled along to every word.

“Yeah I got pretty drunk. I’m not surprised you handed off your drinks, you were never much of a fan” he looked at the floor reminiscing on the first time they drank together after he snuck her out of her house and into the woods by Lovers Lake.

There was a moment of pause before your voice came through once again “Oh and I noticed there was some girl that came with you last night? Yeah I didn’t catch her name but she seemed pretty slammed too but you guys seemed to be having fun.”

Steve frowned “Yeah she was meant to be a date but I didn’t end up liking her all that much.” When he thought about the party he didn’t really think about the girl on his arm, he thought about the joy from the music and dancing and how sad he was when he watched you leave.

Steve knew the next question you would ask from his several rounds of listening to this message but when he heard your voice come through his phone the question rattled him as much as it did the first time.

“Do you….do you remember when we used to party like that too-?”

“Of course I do sweetheart-” Steve cut in “I miss it. Not for the parties but for you. I miss having you around all the time.” Steve stopped for a millisecond before asking a question he already knew this recording couldn’t answer for him. “Why did you stop coming round?”

His only response was yet another awkward laugh and how frown deepened.

“sorry I left before saying ‘hi’ but even though I wasn’t drunk I’ll be honest I was at least a little high- ok I was pretty high- but yeah I left before I got too out of hand-” You began to speak again.

“It’s alright sweetheart I understand.” He couldn’t help the somber tone of his voice and he couldn’t help letting the old nickname slip past his lips so easily like it once did.

“I heard on her walk home Nancy threw up- hope she's alright-”

“Yeah she’s fine-” Steve almost dismissed the question; Nancy wasn’t his concern right now, you were.

“I guess I keep saying you seemed to have fun but I never actually asked- how was your night? We didn’t talk so I guess I wouldn’t know but I noticed how you and that girl laughed pretty good ya know like we used to-” Your voice hitched a little at the end as if you didn’t mean to say it.

“I’ve never laughed with someone as much as I laugh with you. I had fun but I wish it was you- I was wishing it was you.” He blurted.

“Hey, remember when we used to sneak out all the time and we'd just hang out-?” Here it comes. The next question was the second question in this recording that rattled him. “Is that what you do with her-?”

Steve took a shaky breath before answering with a soft “No…only you”

The phone line stayed quiet before there was a quiet click. The message was over. Your voice was gone. Only a moment passed before Steve lifted his hand to the phone; playing your message once again.

@madmaxinealt @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

[titanicsimp]

Hello there! What would be some of the AOT boys' reactions to stumbling upon their crush (reader) playing the piano? Maybe something like Claire De Lune? It can be in the canonverse 🤗 thank you so much!

Also I just want to say that your writing is incredible, and you write all the characters SO spot on! Keep up the great work! 💕

Thank you so much for your kind words, I’m really glad I can do the characters justice!

I’m an absolute uncultured swine when it comes to music but I did some research so I hope this is what you wanted 🥰🥰

AOT men walking in on their crush playing the piano (includes; Eren, Armin, Jean, Connie, Levi, Erwin, Zeke, Reiner, Porco, Colt)

cw: none

a/n: This got kinda long so I put it under a cut!

Armin Arlert

Arabesque, No. 1 in E major by Claude Debussy

The soft notes of the piano fit well with the polished corridors of Mitras palace, and Armin couldn’t help but be drawn in by the sound. The music was gentle yet upbeat, a stark contrast with what had just been discussed in the dreadful meetings he had to attend.

A smile graces his face when he cracks the door of the music room further open, finding you at the seat of the piano. You look beautiful, your lips curved up slightly as your fingers dance over the keys. You look content, lost in your own happy tune, and Armin can’t help but be relieved that you have found a moment for yourself. He doesn’t want to interrupt, he just wants to stand and listen to you play, leaning against the doorway. He lets his head fall back against the frame and closes his eyes, letting you carry him away to a world of wonder through the music.

Eren Yeager

Metamorphosis: Three by Philip Glass

Eren had been surprised to be woken up by music. He shuffled over to the room where the sound seemed to originate from, only to find you. It almost seemed like you expected him, your gaze pointedly meeting his before you returned your attention to the piano. Eren did not have a lot of sense for music, but he could tell that your talent deserved much more than that run down thing.

“Bit somber, isn’t it?” He comments but you shake your head.

“Not necessarily, listen.”

He moves closer as you continue playing the song, and soon he finds out why you wanted him to listen. The somber tones get shifted to louder, more excited ones, giving the tune a more hopeful feel to it. He looks at you as you guide the music through its ups and lows, and a shiver runs over his spine every time he catches your eye. It’s like you see through him, he’s always felt that way, that’s why he took a liking to you to begin with. Though you aren’t telling him it explicitly, he understands what the song means for both of you.

Jean Kirstein

Liebestraume S541/R211: No. 3 Nocturne in E flat major by Franz Liszt & Jenö Jandó

Jean had just been wandering around, lost in thought, when he heard someone playing the piano. None of the scouts played piano as far as he knew, making him wonder if it was perhaps a Marleyan making use of the music room. He was pleasantly surprised to find out that you were the one playing. Your eyes closed, focusing intently on the tune of every key your fingers hit. Though he could watch you like this forever, he needs to come closer. “Wow.”

“How come you never told me you play piano?”

He smiles when you look up at him bashfully. “It had been so long, I wasn’t sure if I could anymore...”

“It sounds amazing, you have talent.” Jean tells you and comes to stand next to the piano.

You continue playing under his watchful eye, a smile playing at your lips. He enjoys the song, and jokingly starts ball dancing by himself, commenting that beautiful music should be danced to. You chuckle at him clumsily dancing with the air, your chest warming at the sight.

Connie Springer

Forever, forever by Keiko Matsui

Connie can’t help but feel slightly offended that you never told him, but as he watches you play from the open window, he can’t stay mad. He pulls himself up on the frame, startling you when he drops into the room. Throwing his hands up, he grins. “Sorry.”

You shake your head but smile, returning your attention to the piano. Slowly, you pick up the song again, and Connie makes sure to listen closely. The tune feels loving, and a blush graces his cheeks as he hopes that perhaps it’s him you are thinking of while playing.

“Can I sit with you?” He questions softly and you nod your head.

Seeing your face from so close as he sits on the bench with you makes his heart skip beats. It’s nice to see you so content, it’s the only way he wants you to be.

Levi Ackerman

Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy

Levi was determined to find out where you sneaked off to while you should be cleaning with them, glaring at the thought of how he should scold you for it. When he found you, the infall of sunlight playing so beautifully across your skin, sweet notes resonating throughout the room, he stopped in his tracks. Levi has a great appreciation for fine, sophisticated things, and you playing the piano with the sun setting behind you must be the epitome of it.

Your eyes widen when you realize he’s there, your hands stopping their movements. Levi scowls at you. “Keep playing.” He tells you commandingly.

Worried that you’ll be punished more severely if you don’t, you start again. You had thought he would be furious to find you slacking during cleaning duties, but as soon as you continued playing his face turned soft. He enjoyed it, taking a seat in a vacant chair and even leaning back slightly. As he listened to your song, he could imagine himself doing this more often, hearing you play and seeing you so delicately working the instrument, perhaps with some tea next time. It was alright that you snuck off this time, he supposed, hiding his smile behind his hand as he was glad he didn’t have to scold you.

Erwin Smith

Nocturnes: No. 1, Molto Moderato, in E flat major by Frédéric Chopin & John Field

It was rare to find a house with luxuries at this area, never mind one that has been abandoned and probably raided countless times. As you run your hand over the dusty piano lid, you wonder if it could possibly still work.

Erwin had just entered the room when you have propped the lid up and sit down on the piano bench. His eyes widen when you start playing a tune, one that for some reason sound familiar. You smile, playing more excitedly. “Seems like it has survived fairly well.” Some of the notes aren’t what they used to be, but it’s a miracle nonetheless.

The more the song carries on, he realizes where he’s heard it before. A friend of his father played the piano and he had played this song before. His admiration for you had already been great for the longest time, but this just increased it even more. Erwin had been no good at instruments himself, yet you played like it was your second nature. He makes a plan for himself to find a piano when the two of you return, wanting to hear more of your hidden talent.

Zeke Yeager

Gnossiennes |-||-||| (1890) by Erik Satie

People rarely came to this part of the wing, and since Zeke’s usual spot was closed off, he decided to go have a smoke on the balcony of the old music room. When he heard someone entering, he observed curiously, watching you sneak in. You pulled off the cover of off the grand piano, letting the sheet fall to the floor. He took drags from his cigarette, narrowed eyes watching your every move from a distance. It was always nice to see you, but what were you doing here?

You play some notes, testing yourself before you take a deep breath. Zeke’s cigarette drops from his lips as soon as you start playing. You carry the tune flawlessly and even he can tell its brimming with emotion. Where the hell had you been hiding this talent?

He listens patiently till you finish your song. He isn’t the best at judging emotions, but from the glances he catches of the side of your face, it seems that you are pouring your frustrations into it.

When you finish, he walks in, closing in on you from behind and putting his hands on your shoulders. You recognize who it is instantly as he leans forward, the scent of smoke carrying from his lips.

“It’s not fair to keep a talent like this hidden.” His hands rub at your shoulders and you feel pride swell in your chest. “Dedicate a song to me?” He asks playfully.

Reiner Braun

Nuvole Bianche by Ludovico Einaudi

Reiner feels ashamed that he didn’t know when he walks in on you playing the piano. He looks away in embarrassment when your eyes catch his. “Excuse me.” He says, already turning back to the door.

“Reiner!”

You stop playing. “This... it’s a new song I’ve learned. Can you stay and tell me if it sounds right?”

He turns back to you, your face showing that you are being earnest. Nodding his head, he strides over to you.

You tap the spot on the bench next to you with your hand and he sits down with a tiny smile.

You go back to the beginning, turning your sheet music accordingly. His gaze goes from your face to your hands as you play. Your fingers move over the keys so lightly, and something about it just makes him want to hold your hand. He holds himself back, not wanting to mess up the beautiful song you are creating.

When you are done, you ask him what he thought. “It was beautiful.” He tells you, beautiful like everything else you do.

Porco Galliard

Prelude in G minor Op. 23/5 by Sergei Rachmaninoff

Porco expected to find some stuffy man playing the piano, which is the case at most of these ‘prestige’ events, but instead he found you. “What the fuck?”

You shoot him a glare, trying your hardest to stay focused on your play. “Don’t throw me off, asshole.”

He doesn’t want to throw you off, he’s just baffled. It’s astounding that the same person who throws him in the dirt during every training is the same as the polished one he sees in front of him right now. From the way you play, there’s no doubt that you must have been doing this for a long time. He vaguely remembers you telling him that you used to take piano lessons, but he had no idea that you now did it professionally. As he watches you play, your eyes cast down to the keys and fingers moving across the length of the board at a rapid pace, he has to admit there’s something charming about it. He grins to himself, the night will be far more entertaining and pleasant on the eye than he had expected.

Colt Grice

Rêverie by Claude Debussy

Colt at first thinks he must be dreaming. The music, your radiant face, it fits right in. He’s not though, instead he has just stumbled onto yet another trait that makes him love you more. You take tiny glances at him as you play and he can tell you are happy he’s here. His palms feel sweaty and his cheeks heat up as he realizes how perfect of a moment it would be if he confessed his feelings now. If he could, he would blurt it out, but he can’t. Instead he continues watching you, building the courage inside him bit by bit.

Noticing that you are cracking your neck quite often, Colt comes over to stand behind you. He’s gentle as he touches your shoulders, seeing if you don’t move away from him before he massages your sore muscles. Little sighs pass by your lips as you continue playing your song, letting your head fall back when it’s finished.

“Thank you, I’m not used to playing for longer times anymore.” You sigh, putting one hand over his.

He flushes at your touch. “You play beautifully, so thank you for letting me hear it..”

[srahpaulsons]

𝐒𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐡 & 𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐬 | ❞𝑻𝒐𝒏𝒚❜𝒔 𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚❞

Sarah listened to Jessica, her heart swelling with emotion, yet she couldn't help the playful eye roll that occasionally emerged when the woman before her said something a little too modest. "you did a lot more then you realise" she said, her voice trembling slightly, as though a whisper carried her away for a split second. "I can't thank you enough for that." She laughed warmly, brushing Jessica's arm in return. "ummm, I'm taking it everywhere," she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "It might even get its own side of the bed- it's own seat on a plane," she joked. She glanced at the award, shaking her head slightly in disbelief. "It just doesn't seem real"— Within her moment of disbelief, her eyes warmed as they met Jess's at her announcement. Laughter emerged. "So what I'm hearing is—I'm nowhere near Jessica Lange's level right now…" she said, her tone flirty but friendly. At least, that's what she told herself, even though her emotions were on a completely different level of dopamine tonight. Within mere minutes, Sarah was accepting a second shot from the older blonde. The pure joy on her lips mixed with the strength of the liquor as it went down. "Well, I can't say no! I've gotta catch up," she cheered lightly. As the shot went down, her hand gently pressed upon Jess's knee, as if she needed to steady herself. Realising the slight awkwardness, she subtly moved it away. "So, how are you feeling?" she asked, her tone soft. She knew that despite the high of the Tonys, tonight was somber yet special for Jess. "With Mother, I never got all the details about the final curtain call," Sarah continued, her tequila already in hand, her attention fully on the other woman. "Personally, I think you should do a musical next."

Jessica knew better than anyone in that room how much this recognition meant to sarah, she dreamed about it and talked about it many times, during their long walks or sleepless nights how sarah talked about that little girl dreaming about Broadway. Then, Jessie witnessed the process for Appropriate, before and during the rehearsals and as long as she could, she was by her side, it was beautiful to see how she blossomed as a consecrated and serious actress. "I didn't do anything, it's all yours, this is yours and I couldn't be happier' she winked at the younger woman. A soft sigh escaped from Jess' chest with that tight embrace that it was always needed and welcomed after several days without Sarah's presence in her daily life, and every time Jess felt like getting used, something shouted into her face that she was not at all. "I'm pretty sure you're going to bring it with you everywhere" she replied amused and brushed Sarah's arm in an affectionate way. "I have to warn you, i've had a couple —maybe more than a couple cocktails while I was waiting for the star of the night"

Jessica was mesmerized by Sarah's glow, she beamed in excitement and the dress she had picked for the special night was so beautiful. She wanted to to tell her but she waited, maybe after the first shot, she would be brave enough to tell her how insanely gorgeous she looked. "well, I'm expecting you to enjoy this as much as you want and if you need some help to walk out by the end of the night, I have a driver outside" she laughed and raised her glass "this is for you. congratulations Sarah Catharine Paulson" she winked and clicked her glass with hers before bringing it to her mouth and drink it all "Goddammit!" she exclaimed after the liquid went through her throat "what is this? fire? it burns" she laughed and wiped the corner of her lips with her thumb softly "Do you want the second one before someone comes to steal you from me?" she asked knowing that probably all the people there would want to spend some time with sarah and she couldn't blame them, and she couldn't demand more time or attention like she used to when they were together.

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 21

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

–––––

CHAPTER 21: IMPROVVISANDO

Music glossary: Improvvisando: with improvisation

Glossary: Wǎnshàng hǎo : Good evening Shīfù : Teacher/Master

(Mood music: Night of Beijing - Jia Peng Fang)

That evening

Marinette fidgeted with her napkin, occasionally sipping her now-lukewarm tea while sitting at the kitchen bar counter. Chat Noir sat on the stool beside her in silence, also nursing a half-emptied cup. She checked the clock for what seemed to be the hundredth time in the last few minutes.

“It’s about that time. I’ll head up to my room to let Ladybug inside. Will you get the door if your visitor arrives before she does?”

“Sure,” he replied, uneasy but compliant, doing his best to avoid staring at the black eye she’d received earlier that day.

Marinette set her cup in the sink and headed upstairs, leaving Chat alone with his thoughts.

He tried to keep his fast-beating heart in check, subconsciously clenching his jaw. It was finally happening. He was going to meet “him”: The Guardian of the Miraculous.

Following the events at school earlier that day, Adrien had walked Marinette to her house, where her family invited him to stay for a cup of tea until his “ride” arrived to pick him up. Of course, he’d eagerly accepted. It was nice to interact with the family as Adrien instead of just as Chat Noir.

After leaving, he hid away and transformed so he could sneak in through Marinette’s balcony as he usually did.

Upon transforming, however, he found a series of voice mails from Ladybug that she’d left during Adrien’s attempted abduction. Her voice was frantic. He could hear the urgency and distress in her tone, and a heavy blanket of guilt settled onto his shoulders as he listened.

The first message asked him to come to their school, that it was an emergency, to please call her back as soon as possible. He chewed on his lip, wanting nothing more than to hide away in a cave in shame.

The second one must have been left right after she’d rescued Adrien and left him at the school nurse; she’d called to let Chat know the incident had passed. Then she asked if he was okay, since she hadn’t heard back from him. He sighed. Typical Ladybug, always worrying and thinking about others first, even when she was having a rough time.

The last voicemail caused a trail of ice to trickle down his spine as he listened. Ladybug informed him that she had scheduled an impromptu meeting with the Guardian at the Dupain-Cheng’s house that evening, with Marinette’s permission, and that it was of utmost importance that he attend.

He shivered as goosebumps appeared on his arms and he swallowed hard. What was the purpose of this meeting? Was he in trouble for not showing up today during ‘Adrien’s’ kidnapping? And why meet here, at the Dupain home, instead of somewhere more private and away from civilians? What was the Guardian like? Would Chat get reprimanded and treated with disdain for having been their enemy for all these years, or would he be understanding and forgiving?

More importantly, would he have to disclose his identity to him, or to both him and Ladybug, to prove his loyalty? He winced at the mere thought of it. The last thing he wanted was for Ladybug to think less of him, or to pity him. Especially after the kidnapping attempt.

Additionally, if they were to learn that Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, would they want to confront him head-on? Adrien didn’t feel ready for that, for several reasons.

First of all, would he be able to protect Ladybug, as he’d promised her? Hawkmoth had shown that he’d developed some sort of new power. Either that, or an entirely different person had become involved and was helping him. In any case, he didn’t know what exactly they were dealing with anymore.

Secondly, if the time came and he had to hurt or even kill his father, he didn’t know if he’d be able to do it. Yes, Gabriel was a monster and Adrien despised what he had become. But what if the damage was reversible and there was still a way to bring him back to normal? He just had to know, before doing something he might permanently regret.

The sudden ringing of the doorbell startled Chat out of his thoughts and he practically fell off his seat.

He ran to answer the front door, looking to make sure no one else was around. At the last second, he remembered to detransform and slip on the hood of his zip-up sweater (the one Marinette had gifted him), pulling a scarf over his nose and mouth so he wouldn’t be recognized if anyone outside were to catch a glimpse of him.

He looked out through the peephole, only to see the very top of someone’s head, balding with grey hair, and a little bit of their eyebrows.

Huh. Somehow Adrien thought the Guardian would be a bit… taller?

He turned the knob and the door opened, its squeaking hinges somehow louder than usual. Peeking out from the side like a scared tortoise, he checked to make sure the individual matched the description he was given, then stepped back to allow the door to swing open all the way. The older man stepped inside, closing it behind him.

“Hello,” Adrien said meekly, bowing his head slightly. “You must be…”

“Yes. I am Wang Fu,” he replied, bowing politely in greeting. “It is very good to see you again, Adrien Agreste.”

While Adrien’s face scarf efficiently concealed the way his jaw dropped when the elder man called him by name, there was no hiding the way his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.

“W- what?!” he sputtered. “How did you—”

The man called Fu chuckled, stroking his beard. “It was a long time ago, but we’ve met before.”

Adrien lowered his scarf and frowned in concentration, falling silent for a few seconds. Then it dawned on him.

“YOU!!” he gaped. “I do remember you! It was my first day of lycée! You fell down in front of our school and I helped you up. It was you who put the cat miraculous in my bag that day, wasn’t it?”

“That is correct,” Fu confirmed.

“But why me? You could’ve picked anyone, so why did you choose someone like me?”

Fu’s smile faltered when he said this. Adrien had said “anyone”, but he could see that Fu knew what he’d actually meant. Why did you choose someone as broken as me?

The man folded his arms behind him, considering his answer. “Guardians are bestowed with several powers and abilities. One of them is to locate and select good candidates for the miraculous jewels. And so I was led to you.”

Chat grimaced in confusion. “So if you already knew it was me, why bother to ‘test’ me?”

“My powers as a guardian may lead me to a potential candidate, but ultimately the choice is still mine to make. It was a simple test, but it showed me what your first instinct would be if you saw someone in need. The answer I received was satisfactory. You were meant to be Ladybug’s Chat Noir.”

Adrien sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Honestly, a couple of months ago I wouldn’t have known whether to hug you because I got to become Chat Noir, or whether to punch you because I had to become Chat Noir. But it’s because of you that I got to meet Ladybug, so I am grateful to you for that. It’s good to finally meet you. Officially.”

He extended his hand and Fu took it with a smile, giving it a firm shake.

Afterwards, Adrien’s gaze fell, brows scrunching together. “I can’t believe it. All this time, you knew. You could’ve told Ladybug who I was years ago. She could have figured out a way to take away my miraculous while I wasn’t transformed, like at school, and she would’ve had one less enemy to deal with. It would’ve––” he pursed his lips, expression full of shame, and he lifted his eyes to meet Fu’s once again, “–it would’ve made it easier for her. She would’ve suffered less if I’d been out of the picture. So why didn’t you?”

Fu’s countenance became somber, his eyes carrying years of pain and regret. He took a few moments to consider his words. “When I was a boy, barely a teenager, something terrible happened. Hundreds of innocent people died, and it was all because of me.”

Chat almost reeled back as if he’d been smacked across the face, puzzled about the sudden switch in topic. He remembered Ladybug briefly mentioning this a few months ago, on the night they danced together. He waited for Fu to elaborate.

“I was only trying to protect them,” the older man explained. “After I was orphaned as a child, the monks of the Guardian Temple took me in. They became my family. They were stern, but fair and kind. It was a tough childhood, but I was happy.” He sighed. “However, there were those who would try to steal the miraculous and use their power selfishly. It was an endless struggle. Many were lost over the years. I longed for peace. I wanted my family to be safe, I wanted us to be left alone. So I did what I thought would be a better route, an easier one; one with less hardship and bloodshed. You see, one day while I was supposed to be on guard duty, I sneaked away to where the miraculous box was kept. I put on both the ladybug and cat miraculouses and used them to make a wish: I wished that our enemies would disappear.”

The older man exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut, the memories of what came next clearly still haunting him. Adrien couldn’t help but hold his breath while he listened.

“It worked,” Fu resumed, voice quiet and slightly shaky. “But as you might have suspected, there is always a price to pay; a balance that must be maintained. Therefore, because of my wish, all the monks in our Guardian temple and the innocent people of the surrounding village were ripped away from me, along with our enemies. The wish was technically fulfilled, but I never suspected that the cost would be that high. I have had to live with that in my conscience for over a hundred years.”

He clasped his hands behind his back, appearing more vulnerable than Adrien would have ever expected. He continued, “Since that time, I have both seen and caused much death in my lifetime, protecting the miraculous box alone as the last Guardian. So, you see, if there was even one person I could save, I had to try. I wanted to trust in the miraculouses, like I should have decades ago, during my misguided attempt to control the outcome of a complicated situation.”

Adrien absently rubbed his arm, pondering Fu’s words. “Looking back,” he began, “I can see the reasoning behind a lot of Ladybug’s decisions and principles, now that I know your story.”

“Indeed. Ladybug is a remarkable young lady; I knew that even back then. When I would ask her if she was willing to risk her life for the sake of a stranger, she would say yes, every single time. If anyone can persevere for the greater good, it was her. Was it unfair of me? Probably. Have I asked too much from her? Absolutely. Have I made mistakes while trying to guide her? Yes. Many of them.” He put his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “I wanted to save you that day by giving you the cat miraculous. But I never would have guessed that it would also doom you and force you into a role of servitude. I hope that you will forgive me for this.”

Adrien’s heart pained for Fu as he admitted his guilt. “You couldn’t have known it would’ve turned out that way. It wasn’t your fault,” he insisted.

Fu shrugged. “I try to tell myself that, but I can’t quite convince myself. The situation made sense once Ladybug told me about Hawkmoth.”

“You mean, when she told you that Hawkmoth was my father?” Adrien asked.

“Yes,” Fu replied. “I had my suspicions, because it would explain your motivations, but I had no proof, no way of finding out for sure. It made sense that Hawkmoth would be Gabriel Agreste. The butterfly miraculous requires its wielder to be creative and inventive, since it relies on their ability to convert the subject’s emotions into a source of power. And he had the motivation.”

Adrien hummed in agreement.

“Additionally, such a clever and talented individual getting ahold of the cat miraculous would be incredibly dangerous. I’d be lying if I said I had never considered taking your miraculous away. But even still, it was safer to let it all play out. I didn’t want to repeat past mistakes. And if Hawkmoth was Gabriel Agreste, your fate if you were to lose the cat miraculous would have been disastrous. Maybe it would have even alerted him about the presence of a Guardian in Paris. But now that we know the truth, we can plan accordingly.”

Adrien gulped. So Fu had considered taking his miraculous away before. “A-are you going to tell Ladybug who I am?”

Fu shook his head. “It is not up to me to decide when it will be right for there to be no more secrets between you two. I only know that it is not yet time.”

Adrien curiously tilted his head, brows furrowed in confusion. “How do you know that?”

As Fu started to answer, Adrien heard a doorknob twist open behind him and he quickly pulled his scarf back over his features.

The door opened and Ladybug’s voice exclaimed, “There you are! What are you two doing out here in the entryway?”

Adrien cleared his throat, then stammered, “R-right, pardon my manners. Please, come in.”

Fu walked past him, entering the living area. He took Ladybug’s hands between his, shaking them briefly, and said, “Wǎnshàng hǎo, Ladybug.”

With a small bow, Ladybug replied, “Wǎnshàng hǎo, shīfù. Thank you for coming at such short notice. Please, have a seat.”

Chat entered the room, having transformed now, and stepped forward to greet her.

He stopped short, realizing that he wasn’t quite sure how to greet her since last night’s development in their relationship, not to mention being very conscious of the Guardian watching them. He settled for a hug, which she returned, squeezing him tightly, and added a quick, discreet peck on his cheek. He smiled, feeling his face heat up.

Pleasantries aside and everyone seated, it was Ladybug who spoke first.

“Thank you both for being here. There’s a lot we need to talk about.”

----------

A transformed Wang Fu stood at the bedroom window, curtains drawn, chanting in a language that neither Ladybug nor Chat Noir understood, holding the last of several metallic talismans he’d blessed and scattered around the room. The pair kept their eyes on him, marveling at the efficiency and care that he put into each incantation. There was something sacred, even holy about this ritual. They could feel powerful magic emanating from his form, invisible bursts of energy swirling about the room, dancing all around them in a silent symphony.

Ladybug cast a furtive glance at her partner. He’d been quiet for a little while, after learning about his attempted akumatization the night before. Ladybug had told him that it was Marinette who let her know, and that Plagg was the one who had informed her.

She’d called Master Fu before going to school to let him know what happened last night, and he promised he would figure out a solution. He’d spent all day preparing these special talismans, which would ward off akumas and keep them from entering this room. But only this room. He wasn’t strong enough to cast such a potent, long-term spell over a larger area; especially not at his age.

Fu, or rather, Jade Turtle, was silent for a few moments after placing the last charm, a silver one with indecipherable symbols carved into it, then turned around to face the couple.

“The talismans are almost done being enchanted,” he said, pretty out of breath, beads of sweat present on his brow. “There is one more thing that needs to be done. But I think I’ll need your help for this, Ladybug.”

Ladybug stepped forward in response. “Sure, Master. What is it?”

“I would do it myself, but, well… let’s just say I’m not as young as I used to be.”

“Of course Master, anything you need. Just tell me what to do.”

Fu removed his bracelet, the turtle miraculous, and turned back to his civilian self, then handed the jewelry to her. His kwami, Wayzz, floated next to them awaiting instruction.

“If you could transform with my miraculous to finish the protection spell, I’d very much appreciate it. I’ll show you what to do when you’re ready.”

The young woman gaped at him, having never transformed into any hero other than Ladybug before.

“Oh! R-really?? S-sure! No problem...” She took the bracelet hesitantly, studying it like she’d never seen it before, then excused herself to the ensuite for privacy.

In the bathroom, Ladybug detransformed and removed her earrings, handing them to Tikki for safekeeping. She put on the emerald stone bracelet, staring at it as if it might try to crawl away from her if she wasn’t careful enough.

She squeezed her eyes shut in preparation. “Wayzz, shell on.”

Jade green light shone around the bathroom, and Marinette felt the magic of the turtle miraculous engulf her form. When it passed, she gulped and opened her eyes, lifting them to the mirror to catch a glimpse of her newly transformed self.

“Whoa.”

The heroine stared at her reflection across the way. She ran her fingers over the various bits of fabric and armor, taking the time to appreciate the feel and texture. Somehow, she felt quite powerful. Tough. Solid. Almost like a sentient brick wall.

“Wow, Marinette! You look incredible!” Tikki whispered to her.

“Aww, thank you Tikki,” she replied. “It feels so different, but it’s also really cool.”

Sparing one last glance into the mirror, she finally emerged from the bathroom. Fu was seated at the desk chair across the room, taking a short breather. Chat was speaking to him in hushed tones, but turned around when he heard her re-enter the bedroom.

His jaw dropped and he gasped.

“Oh my God, you’re adorable!” Chat blurted out. He caught himself and turned tomato red, then stuttered, “Umm! S-sorry, I––”

Ladybug (Lady...turtle??) giggled, stepping forward to stand beside him once again. “Thanks,” she replied shyly, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear as she usually did when she was nervous, but her hand bumped into her suit’s hood instead. Not quite sure what to do with her hands, she folded them in front of her as she awaited further instruction.

Tikki flew in front of Master Fu, bowing her head in greeting. “It’s good to see you again, Master!”

“Likewise. I hope you are doing well,” he greeted back.

Tikki flew over to Chat Noir, to say hello to him as well. “Hello, Chat Noir! It’s nice to formally meet you,” she chirped happily.

Chat beamed and answered, “Tikki, right? It’s great to finally meet you too! I must admit, you look a little different than I thought you would.”

Tikki giggled. “Did you think I’d be more insect-like? Maybe with six legs and an exoskeleton?”

Chat shrugged timidly. “Well, I mean… Maybe…?” ‘Ladybug’ and Tikki looked at each other and snickered at his reply.

Fu smiled at their interactions fondly, recalling times spent with loved ones, allies no longer here. With a small grunt, he stood up to continue the protection ritual.

“This way, Ladybug. Chat Noir and Tikki, please stand over there; we’ll need a bit of space for this. You might feel a bit tired once this is finished, so be sure to get plenty of rest tonight,” he instructed.

Tikki perched on Chat’s shoulder as he moved towards the edge of the room. They spoke in hushed voices as Fu instructed Ladybug and had her repeat phrases from his notes.

While they waited, Chat turned to Tikki and whispered, “By the way, I wanted to thank you... for helping Ladybug and keeping safe all these years. She means a lot to me.”

If kwamis could blush, Chat was sure that’s what Tikki’s face showed at the moment. “It’s been a pleasure to be her kwami. She’s the best! I’m glad you’ve gotten to know her and see what a sweet person she is.”

Chat smiled, cheeks dusted pink. “I am too.”

------

Many minutes passed, and Ladybug and Fu finished casting the protection ward. Chat helped Fu gather his things as Ladybug excused herself to transform back to her regular hero self.

As she re-emerged from the bathroom, Chat handed her a glass of water and invited her to sit on the bed so she could catch her breath and gather back some of her energy. “Welcome back, Lily-bug,” he greeted her with a wink. Ladybug beamed at him, accepting the water and taking a seat next to him.

Fu stood beside them, having finished gathering his belongings in a satchel. As he gave Ladybug time to rest, he asked, “Do either of you have any questions about the protection ritual, or about anything else?”

Ladybug replied, “I actually do have some questions, sir.”

Fu nodded.

“Master... why did Hawkmoth attempt to akumatize Chat Noir last night? If he’s tried it before, why did he not succeed during other nights?” Ladybug’s questions came faster once she got started. “Since he tried to akumatized Chat, does that mean he knows where he lives now? Is Chat even safe here anymore? What about the Dupains? Are they gonna be okay? How much does Hawkmoth know?”

Chat looked at Fu expectantly, realizing that he, too, had those same questions.

Fu replied, “The owner of the butterfly miraculous sends out his butterflies in search of a specific strong emotion, but is not aware of their location until after the host accepts it. He is able to learn some vague details about why they are feeling that certain emotion. My guess is that he was able to locate him while he was having a nightmare. So, no. He does not know that Chat Noir lives here. His powers have limitations, just like you do with yours. He is more powerful since he is older and more experienced, but even he can’t overextend the capabilities of his miraculous.”

He paused, stroking his beard, and contemplated. Then he asked, “Did something happen last night to make your emotions different from what they normally are?”

Ladybug and Chat Noir looked at each other, blushing furiously, stammering as they attempted to answer without divulging too much unnecessary information.

Fu raised an eyebrow, then chuckled knowingly, raising his hands to stop them. “It’s okay, I don’t need to know the details.”

“Umm! I-it’s not what you think!”

“M-master, don’t misunderstand–”

“Y-you see–”

“What happened was…”

“My guess is–” Fu interrupted, “–That Hawkmoth sensed your great joy last night, and became enraged. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being happy because it would mean that he is in the wrong, and his pride won’t allow him to accept that.”

Chat and Ladybug fell silent, looking downcast, as the explanation both made sense yet was immensely disheartening.

“There’s something else, Master,” Ladybug spoke again. “Something happened at school today. Akumas, but they vanished without a trace. I mentioned it to you earlier today over the phone. Have you ever heard of such a thing?”

“Ah, yes. And all that remained was two white feathers?” Fu asked.

“That’s right. Could the akumas still be out there because they haven’t been purified?”

Fu shook his head. “Allow me to explain. Firstly, as Ladybug already knows, two of the miraculouses in my box went missing when the temple of the guardians was destroyed: the butterfly and the peacock. One of them fell into Hawkmoth’s hands sometime within the last few years. But after hearing about what happened at the school today, we can now confirm that Hawkmoth is currently in possession of not just one, but of both of them. Either that, or he has someone else working under him.”

“The Peacock… of course!” Ladybug gasped, voice filled with dread.

Chat looked at her, then back at Fu, waiting for him to elaborate.

“The Guardian’s Grimoire calls them ‘sentimonsters’, mystical beings created out of thin air using the peacock miraculous, which harnesses the power of emotions. They can be created and destroyed whenever the wielder desires. Usually they are simple creatures, designed to be helpers or perform smaller tasks. However, they can also be more sophisticated, even indistinguishable from other humans, although an enormous amount of energy is required to create these complex sentimonsters. One can even ‘borrow’ the appearance of an already existing person. In this case, Hawkmoth chose not to give the sentimonsters the ability to speak, so they couldn’t divulge their secrets, in the event that they were caught.”

Ladybug shuddered. “What the hell?! That is so creepy.”

“Indeed.” Fu looked over at Chat, who had remained pensive throughout this exchange. “Any thoughts, Chat Noir?”

Chat looked up at him, trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say. “I… I think I remember seeing the peacock miraculous in my father’s safe once. I only caught a glimpse of it; I just thought it was some of my mom’s jewelry he kept as a memento. I had no idea it was a miraculous. Otherwise, I would’ve had Plagg help me break into the safe and taken it with me when I ran away from home. There are so many things my father never told me… I’m sorry I don’t know more.”

Ladybug reached out to hold his hand, giving it a small squeeze, which he returned.

“You’ve done more than you know, believe me,” Fu replied as he unconsciously squeezed his satchel, which contained the electronic tablet where his copy of the Grimoire was stored.

He stuck his hand in his pocket and stepped forward, handing Chat Noir a card with his cell phone number.

“Call me if you have any questions, either of you. Even if it’s the middle of the night. Wayzz will make sure I hear my phone if it rings; he’s a much lighter sleeper than I am.”

“Thank you, Master Fu,” replied Chat, smiling. “And thank you too, Wayzz.”

“Thanks, Wayzz. Thank you, Master.” said Ladybug.

“Also, I must remind you once again that your identities must remain a secret until things settle down. There are negative effects that could happen if you are revealed too soon, and I’m not sure what they could be; but it’s best not to find out.”

Ladybug frowned. “But when will that be, Master? It would be so much easier to be able to communicate without having to transform.”

Fu shrugged helplessly. “I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for that. We must allow things to continue to develop on their own. I'm sure we’ll know when the time is right.”

Ladybug let out a displeased sigh. Chat nodded, glancing away with a worried look in his eyes. Despite Ladybug’s eagerness (and despite his own curiosity), waiting suited him just fine for now.

After saying their goodbyes, Fu left the pair behind and let himself out with a final wave. The two heroes remained in the bedroom, contemplating what had been discussed.

After sitting in silence for a few moments, unsure of what to say next, a lightbulb seemed to light up inside Ladybug’s brain, and she began typing away into her yo-yo communicator. Chat watched curiously, wondering what she was up to.

Moments later, she hopped out of the bed to jot something down onto a sticky note from Chat’s desk, then walked back.

“Just because we can’t tell each other who we are doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be able to contact each other when we’re not transformed. Kwamis aren’t pagers, after all.”

“Pagers? What decade is this, anyway?” Chat razzed.

“Hush, you,” she mock scolded him, suppressing a smile. “ Anyway! Here’s my brand new, Chat Noir-exclusive email address,” she said, handing him the note with a wink.

Chat’s eyes lit up. “Wait, really??” He unfolded the paper as if it was a Christmas present, excited to read the contents. His eyes widened and he burst out laughing.

“ ‘The_gr8_bugaboo@yoohoo.com’ ?!”

“What, you don't think I’m great?” she teased, striking an exaggerated, Chat Noir-style pose.

Chat’s snickering only intensified and he nodded. “Oh, for sure! The greatest!” he agreed.

Ladybug smirked. “I made it just now,” she explained. “So you’re the only one who knows about it. We may not be able to hang out in person yet, but I’d still like to talk to you during the day. Plus, it’ll come in handy for emergencies.”

“Buginette you’re a genius!”

Ladybug giggled, feeling her face warm up despite herself. “M-maybe we can message each other when you have some free time? I mean… now that you don’t have to worry about getting akumatized in your own room anymore. Your bedroom’s pretty much the safest place in Paris now, thanks to Master Fu.”

“And thanks to you, as well, my dear ‘Lily-bug’,” Chat reached up to take her hand, gently pulling her down to sit next to him. “I feel much better already. And knowing I can talk to you anytime makes me feel even safer.”

She scooted closer, setting her head down on his shoulder. “Y-you know… you make me feel safe too, Kitty.”

Chat’s insides twisted into pleasant little knots, suddenly feeling rather warm. “Really?”

He felt her smile as her hand squeezed his arm, her other one sneaking across their laps to wrap her fingers around his own. “Yeah. I know we’ve only been allies for a short time, but I’ve already lost count of all the times you’ve saved me or sacrificed yourself to help others. Our partnership grows stronger every day, and I think Hawkmoth knows it. He knows we’re stronger together. And it’s only a matter of time until we can be together without these masks too, I just know it.”

He turned towards her, putting his fingers under her chin and lifting her head to have her look up at him. Their eyes met, her pupils dilating as they focused on his own, and he could see a bright blush blooming on her cheeks.

“Me too,” he whispered, as he brought their lips together.

She blissfully melted into him, letting out a small noise of contentment. She deepened the kiss, reaching behind his head to caress his hair with her slender fingers. Their kisses and breaths mingled together and they lost track of everything else around them.

A little while later, they faintly heard the grandfather clock striking the hour in the living room, then some noises as the Dupains shuffled upstairs from the bakery to get ready for bed.

Ladybug pulled back and they separated, his lips still tingling from her touch.

“I… I should probably get going soon,” she lamented with a small shrug. “It’s starting to get late.”

“Would you like me to walk you home? Or rather, to somewhere around your neighborhood?”

She shook her head. “That’s not necessary. Besides, I’m closer than you might think,” she added a bit cryptically.

“I wish you could stay,” he said softly, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear. He gave her nose a tiny smooch. “Just a teeeeensy bit more?” he begged, giving her the best kitten eyes he could muster.

Ladybug giggled shyly, cheeks still dusted with pink. She gave his own nose a peck, her lips soft and inviting. “Well… I guess I could stay just a little bit longer,” she said with a smirk.

“Purr- fect,” he said, capturing her lips once again.

-------------

Note:

Many of the events in the “Volpina” and “Collector” episodes happened in this AU, albeit heavily modified to suit the story. Adrien found the grimoire in his father’s safe, took it out to study it, and Lila stole it. Since Adrien didn’t act impressed about Lila knowing Ladybug, she didn’t magnify the lie and claim to be Ladybug’s best friend; therefore, Ladybug never showed up to call her out on her lie, and Lila was never akumatized.

However, Tikki did see the book in the dumpster and retrieved it, and Marinette showed it to Master Fu. After Gabriel discovered the book was missing and pulled Adrien out of school, Fu made a copy so that Marinette could return it to Gabriel, and Adrien was allowed to attend school again. Currently, Adrien has no idea that this is how Fu acquired his grimoire; he merely assumes that Fu has always had his own copy.

Of course, Marinette began to suspect that Gabriel might be Hawkmoth because he owned the grimoire. Gabriel akumatized himself into the Collector in order to avoid suspicion, and with Chat’s help, almost succeeded in obtaining the ladybug miraculous. Ultimately, Ladybug outsmarted him, got him to accidentally “collect” Chat, and succeeded in purifying his akuma. But by then, Gabriel had “proven” he was an innocent civilian and Ladybug dismissed his potential involvement as Hawkmoth.

----

P.S.  Another note: Certain things that are similar but not identical to canon have been in my outline since the beginning, so I apologize if they're a little confusing (such as the protection talismans being similar to Ladybug's akuma victims' lucky charms or the destruction/disappearance of the Guardian Temple)

[shoutogepi]

Best Friends

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𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.7k

[ ☁︎ ]  angst

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : unrequited feelings :’( really brief mention of sex (not nsfw tho!) & also (underage?????) alcohol consumption! 

𝐛𝐢𝐨 : On your last night in the dorms, Shouto realizes he has feelings for you, his best friend. 

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : idk honestly i started writing this last night and was gonna abandon it... but then val tagged me in an angst ficrec and i was like ok well! this is a sign to post bc then i will have at least one sho angst on my masterlist lolll oops :o

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   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🅃onight was the last night in the dorms. Three long years had come and went, and now everyone’s belongings were cleaned out and secured away with cardboard and tape, leaving an empty wing that was currently filled with bodies, neon lights, and red solo cups. Music was pounding through the hallways, reaching every room and allowing no one total escape from the celebration.

You had been occupying the dance floor with Mina and Tsuyu for the last half hour, and now that you had sweat off the latest drink of the night, it was time for you to set off and find your more moderate-tempered companion. The pink-skinned girl wiggled her eyebrows at you when you alerted them of where you were heading off to, Tsuyu planting a love tap on your ass as you made your way from the swarm of people. The frog girl wasn’t usually so loose, but the alcohol that pumped through everyone’s veins had left only a select few unaffected. Tsu, just like you, was one of the ones that was happily allowing the weight of daily student life slip from her shoulders.

There were plenties of warm bodies swaying with the heavy bass rattling the hallways, shadows of couples and interested singles leaning against the walls, whispers and rowdy laughs echoing as the entire graduating class of UA partied the night away. Skimming by the line outside the bathroom, your feet found their way toward the end of the hall easily enough, taking the path you had so many times before.

A creak sounded as you pushed the cracked door open, the sight of the open shoji screen allowing moonlight to stream onto the bamboo mat floor which crunched quietly underneath your tentative steps.

“Shouto?” you whispered his name, eyes taking in the silhouettes of the packed boxes against the walls before you turned and saw a shadow sitting on the mattress beside the door.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Your voice jolted Shouto from his wandering thoughts, his attention turning to you right away. He seemed surprised to see you standing there, and he peered up at you from his slightly hunched position on the couch. He acknowledged you with your name, his voice low and steady. By the sound of it, you wondered briefly if he had even had a drop to drink tonight.

Blinking at him a few times, you tried to adjust your eyes to the contrast between the bright moonlight and dark shadows. When you could finally see the planes of his handsome, somber face, you spoke, trying your best not to slur. “What are you doing over here all by yourself?”

He paused, lagging for a second before the corners of his mouth curled and his eyes crinkled at the sight of you. “Just thinking,” he answered, examining you in that intrigued way he always did. After a moment he must have reached the conclusion that you were some level of smashed, for he patted the empty space next to him on the bed with a smirk and said, “Come sit with me.”

For a moment you wondered why he was alone, but then your brain caught up with you, and you realized that his other friends were probably busy with their own issues or endeavors. Ever since Midoriya finally grew a pair and asked Uraraka out, the two had been going at it like rabbits every spare second they had. And you could only imagine how busy Iida was as class rep, trying to keep the party at least a little bit under control. Momo was definitely helping him, and you had seen Bakugou begrudgingly holding Kaminari up with Kirishima under his other arm when you’d passed by them in the hall… Leaving only you to come and rouse the half and half hero from his solitude.

“Well that’s not allowed tonight!” You exclaimed, fist slapping against the side of your thigh. You would’ve used both hands for emphasis had the other not been occupied with a half-full plastic cup. Your legs felt like jello as you moved toward him, his cool hand wrapping around your arm to offer his support and steer you into the spot beside him. You almost fell but he held you up with the one arm, chuckling as your butt finally met the safety of the duvet.

“Thinking’s forbidden?” he laughed at your insistence, the sound rich and deep as his hand lingered on your wrist.

“Yes,” you nodded vehemently, pulling your hand away from his to cradle your precious cup and shooting him a playful, sideways glare.  “Brain turned off for the night. It’s in the fine print of the party rules, of course.”

Shouto gave you a funny look, eying you from the side. He repositioned himself, sitting upright and closing his eyes. It was hard for him to remain stoic when the quiet sound of your amused giggles tickled his ears, but he managed a nod before his eyes settled on you again. “Okay, I think it’s off.”

Conversation was always natural between the two of you, he never had to struggle to keep it flowing. And he liked talking with you, being in your presence. Which was the only reason why he was still entertaining this ridiculous charade.

“How do you feel?” you inquired, a goofy grin on your lips.

There was a twinkle in your eyes as you teased him, but Shouto held no qualms with your playfulness. Most people were still afraid to joke with him, believing that he was too obtuse to understand humor. Sure, he had struggled with the transition to school life in the beginning of their first year, but after you had transferred into their class second year, he found himself opening up even more than he already had.

“I feel… the same.” The grin on his lips remained, his eyes settled on your drunken form. His gaze flicked to your smile, shining in the moonlight and making something twinge in his stomach. He cleared his throat, pushing down the feeling that haunted him every time he looked at you too long. “This doesn’t really work, does it?”

You pretended to entertain the thought for a moment, eyes rolling as you considered it animatedly before your lips broke into a beautiful smile again. “No,” you giggled, shoulders shrugging in your cute, drunken fit. “But it’s easier when you’re not sober!”

He turned, faux surprise hung from his brow. “You’re drunk?” Sarcasm dripped from his voice and splashed onto you where his jean-clad thigh brushed against yours.

“Shut up!” You punched at his shoulder and pushed him away from you, shuffling yourself in the process.

Your hair swished with the movement and suddenly the soft, sweet scent of you was crashing over him. He breathed it in shamelessly, allowing himself to indulge in the warm feeling that suddenly emanated through his chest.

“You could try it, if you wanted. It really does help,” you offered your cup to him, shrugging.

Shouto eyed the red plastic cup, hesitant. He really wasn’t one to drink, but then again, neither were you. Tonight was about celebrating your graduation from UA, opening the next chapter of your lives. The thing was, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to move on when it meant leaving all his relationships either behind him or pushed to the side. Okay, maybe he was kidding himself… there was only one person he would miss having in his daily life, and that person was sitting right beside him— the same one who was the source of his conflicted feelings.

“Or not!” your hand retreated and you took a little sip, the sweet jungle juice washing down your throat easily. “No pressure. It’s your choice, Sho.”

He nearly groaned at the nickname, the one he only allowed you to call him. Grabbing the cup from you, his calloused fingers brushed over your soft knuckles. He smirked at the excitement that surfaced in your gaze as he brought the lip of the cup to his mouth, emptying the contents in one long go. The liquid was sickly sweet, masking the bitter poison that entered his body alongside it.

“That was… truly disgusting.”

“Whaaat?” You balked, grabbing for the cup in dismay. He kept it out of reach, even though it was empty, setting it on the far table instead. “It’s good, I dunno what you’re on. It’s really, really good. Heheh, just like me…”

Shouto blushed at the innocent innuendo, looking at you as you closed your eyes and let out a noise between a sigh and a laugh. He gulped, realizing that the alcohol was already taking effect and he was beginning to slip under its influence. Your method of “turning your brain off” was proving to be much more effective with the alcohol’s aid, but that was a whole other issue which he failed to foresee. 

He usually preferred to keep his brain on and fully functioning, especially when he was alone, with you. That way, when you roused the butterflies in his stomach and pulled on his heartstrings, he could tell himself to just ignore it and focus on how important your friendship was to him. But now, his defenses were failing him, and there was nothing he could do to stop his heart from beating faster, palms getting clammier.  

“You’re good?” he reiterated quietly, watching the way your tongue swiped across your lips, enchanted by it.

You chortled, finding the thought entertaining, apparently. “Yes! I feel really good right now.”

“Ah,” he murmured, sitting back and allowing the pillow he had propped up to sink around his form. “I feel... kinda good, too.”

A mix between a laugh and a scoff escaped you at his confession. “You feel something already, Sho? Wow, that’s so efficient.”

Shouto didn’t really know what you meant by that, but he only smiled softly at the happy look on your face. He closed his eyes and listened to the fast rush of blood in his ears, the feeling of warmth prickling at his skin. He wasn’t drunk, per se, but he felt a little lighter than usual.

You had said that drinking would turn his brain off, but it seemed only part of it wasn’t functioning. The other side of his mind was working overtime, much to his chagrin. 

He was suddenly aware that this would be one of his last moments with you before everything would change. You were going to an internship not too far from his, only an hour away by train. But seeing you wouldn’t be nearly as easy as walking down the hallway… and it could only happen if the both of you found a time that worked and had the motivation to travel the distance to meet one another. He wasn’t sure if you wanted to do all that, just to see him.The realization hit him hard. 

No more sneaking to one another’s room and having whispered, midnight conversations. No more studying together and simply being in your presence. No more opportunities to let his gaze linger on you longingly, nor chances for him to grab your hand when your knuckles brushed against his in the middle of your walks. 

He felt sick at the thought of living without you. Maybe… maybe it was time for him to face his feelings head on. He had spent so long denying the recognition of them, the acceptance of them. The loss of you was imminent, unless he could finally force himself to say something, and it had to be soon.

As if you had picked up on his distress, you hummed quietly and shuffled closer to his side. His quirk spiked at the sudden proximity, heat flaring up as your head came to rest on his shoulder.

“I’m a sappy drunk, so I apologize for what I’m about to say,” you mumbled into his t-shirt, his skin prickling as your warm breath wandered through the seams and onto his skin. 

He huffed out a laugh to ease your worries, but he stayed absolutely still, unwilling to move a muscle in case it would somehow scare your body off of his. 

Then you whispered, “M’so lucky to have met you, Sho.”

Shouto choked on thin air, subtly wiping the moisture on his palms across the tops of his denim-covered thighs. Your scent surrounded him, and he couldn’t resist resting his head on top of yours, slowly breathing between your locks. “I… I feel the same, Y/n…”

It was quiet for another moment, his mind playing out a hundred ways to confess, trying to find the right words. Meanwhile, you were simply enjoying his reciprocation and the peacefulness of the quiet away from the party, completely unaware of his inner turmoil.

You sighed and he shivered as your breath scattered across his collarbone again, almost jumping when your fingers landed softly over his. How you remained so soft with their vigorous training, he had no clue. But your fingers felt so warm, so right lacing with his. His throat was thick with apprehension, a lump forming there as the seconds ticked by. It wasn’t often the two of you were sitting so close together, and he wondered if he was a piece of shit for thanking whatever God there was out there for you being kind of inebriated and so touchy right now. 

Slowly, he turned to look at you, eyes wide and conflicted, taking in how truly astonishing your beauty was up close. You lifted your head from your perch on his shoulder, gaze locking with his before your lips curled into a meek smile. Digits tightening around his, you squeezed his hand and rubbed your thumb across his knuckles.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, screaming at him to do something— anything— whatever it took for him to just form the words and tell you that he was in love with—

“Thank you for being my best friend.”

—you… He blinked, the words registering. 

You continued. “I know we’re moving away from each other, but I never wanna lose you. I cherish our friendship too much for that to happen, Shouto.”

Your words cut him. 

Friends. Friendship. 

His blood felt like it had frozen in his veins and he had become a statue, stock still as you carried on thoughtlessly, eyes now flickering over to the moon hung low in the indigo night sky. 

“Please promise me that we'll never change. We might grow as people, but… our friendship will stay intact, right? I don’t wanna grow apart.”

It hurt. 

Time had stopped and his lungs shriveled up, his body aching as if you had just lodged your knee straight into his ribs. His tongue tasted bitter suddenly, and he could almost hear the sound of his heart cracking.

But Shouto was good at hiding his emotions, years of compartmentalizing them giving him an edge that no one else he knew had. He kept his face neutral, even if it felt like he was withering and dying inside.

“I just… don’t ever wanna lose you.”

It was almost impossible to force his lips into a thin, hollow smile. But he managed, even if it felt like prying iron with a crowbar. He looked into your eyes and nodded.

He understood. To some extent, he truly understood. 

“I don’t want to lose you either, Y/n... Don’t worry,” he took a deep breath, forcing the next words out even if he felt like he was about to be sick.

He cherished his bond with you too much to risk chancing it, confessing to you, and throwing it all away after your certain rejection.  He loved you too much to ever hurt you, and he was too selfish to let go of you, too. The only one that would suffer from this was him, and he was alarmingly alright with that.

If it meant that he got to hold onto you, even for just a little bit longer. 

If it meant that you would be happy... Even if he wasn’t.

“We’ll always be friends... I promise.”

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

.

.

˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚ ˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚ ˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚ 

afJSNKJKDKJ WRITING ANGST FOR MY BABY IS SO HARD AHH I LOVE U SHO PLS... reader is so dumb to see u only as a friend i hate that dumb bitch  ughhh (TдT)

➥ masterlist

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 . 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[babytaes]

afterglow

➳  summary:  You, too, lived in a colorless world, trying to connect with it. How long would you have to wait for that one to brighten it up and let you see the real world?

❥  pairing: wonwoo x female reader

❥ genre: angst, fluff, kinda soulmate au.....?

❥ word count: 7k (sorry, mans is my bias and I had to ;)

❥ warning: mentions of death.

➳ part of the song series

↳  Imagine a world like that,

We go like up 'til I'm 'sleep on your chest

Love how my face fits so good in your neck

You had a twin brother who was everything to you. Everything was always you two, from the endless amounts of laughter to the sneaky efforts to take Christmas cookies early in the morning.

With him, everything seems to be so colorful; in your lifetime, everyone was given a companion who may be a friend, sibling, or lover. It was simply something that you treasured. As a result, the alternatives were numerous.

You had no idea how much his life meant to you. He was your second half, and now you'd been split in half, with one gone and the other remaining.

Months passed, and your relationship with him became increasingly dimmer and dimmer. The brilliant hues faded in and out, with black and white patches becoming more prominent.

That awful day, unfortunately, was the last time you saw color. His light had faded from the world, and all that was left was black and white.

With him gone, your entire life seemed pointless, even your day-to-day existence. No splash of color to brighten things up.

“Y/N, I'll never forget you, big sister. Thank you for the enjoyable and considerate memories, and don't let this stunt your growth, please do that for me. As the beeper went off, he began to cough incessantly.

“Helpppp anyone.” As your parents draw you back into their arms, you hear many doctors rush into the room.

There was nothing they could do; his hue had vanished from this world. When you opened your tear-streaked eyes and examined your hands, you noticed that the formerly vivid cream palms had turned gray.

As if all colors were abruptly bleached out of the world, revealing a universe of whiteness—the rainbow, flowers, trees, and art, everything freshly bleached and pearled. The last vestige of color had vanished from your life, and you had been broken since then, heartbroken over the loss of your dearest friend.

“Y/n, hey you're good, we could use your help.” As you glanced to the side, you noticed that one of your employees had just spilled some water from the mop bucket.

As you approach their side, you assist them in mopping up the mess while sweeping aimlessly across the floor, making sure to get every spot. Due to your new life of no color it reflected on your life emotionally.

As the days passed, you became increasingly depressed and unmotivated. There wasn't a single day when you didn't feel mopey or lonely. It wasn't like anyone could help me; it was just the challenge of living a life without color.

Although you sincerely desired to overcome this phase of your life and simply find the right person to fill that void, life did not work in your favor at the time. Everyone around you seemed to be looking for or had already found their "person."

All you wanted was to find the person who could restore your hope and love, which had been taken away when your brother died. Your parents did everything they could to assist you, including setting you up on strange and ineffective dates that just added to your unhappiness.

Nobody could replace that color that your brother provided for you, or maybe someone could? 

"I'm off," you remarked as you pulled off your apron and clocked out in the back. As you stepped out the door, you heard a flurry of goodbyes before closing it behind you.

The world never shifted when the clock struck five.

As you strolled down the crowded streets, the sky before and above you remained grey, never letting up that cloak of shade. A melodious music gradually pours into your ears as you go down the bustling sidewalk.

You follow the dazzling yet tranquil sound of the guitar aimlessly as you imagine music notes flying through the fall air. You cautiously open your tired eyes and spot the crowd to figure out where these tunes are coming from.

Looking up, you spotted a swarm encircling a male, but you couldn't tell who it was. However, it was the music that drew you in; you'd heard that melody before. Even if you weren't musically inclined, you could hear that tune anywhere.

It was his, the one he wrote for you.

--

You dashed outside to see your brother strumming a tune on the grass with his guitar. Your brother possessed a talent for music. It is a condition that many people are born with, and you were fortunate that your brother was one of them.

He didn't go a day without making up or humming something he'd learned. It was frustrating to hear it every day, but it was still lovely to witness his enthusiasm for it.

“Hey, what are you cooking up this time?”  As he began to strum the guitar, he turned around and grinned at you. You couldn't understand what he was mumbling, but it sounded lovely as his fingers casually slid across the strings.

“I don't have the lyrics yet, but I'm sure they'll come. You laughed and nudged his shoulder.

“Just don’t go play at 3 in the morning. Okay?”

“It's not my fault that's typically when the inspiration comes,” he grumbled as he rolled his eyes.

As you raced away from him, you swiftly took his guitar, saying, "Well, I guess that inspiration will have to wait." He leapt from his seat and dashed towards you, yelling your name.

You had no idea that would be his final song; you regret not listening to the finished product; you never knew if he finished it. However, when you got closer to the enticing sound, you observed a young man strumming a guitar, and your ears perked up.

A slender man with long fingers and a quirky side smile, perhaps a musician, delicately touched a golden acoustic guitar, playing her ever so elegantly. You stand there, enthralled by the song, as his hands strum and tug the steel strings of the guitar. You take a cautious step closer to him in order to get a better look.

Allowing the music to take control of your body, you take a deep breath and allow an ounce of hope to creep in. From miles away, the formerly lovely and alive girl could be seen racing to you as you opened your arms to her.

You tried desperately to reach her before she vanished into thin air. The glint had disappeared. As you slowly open your eyes, you notice the man stop playing and gazes up at the audience.

As a smile crept across your face, the edges of your lips began to curl up. You'd forgotten what a smile looked like; you hadn't seen one in a long time, and it just felt natural. Even though he was gone, you could sense his presence. As you began to back away from the mob, tears began to flow freely from your eyes.

As you faded from his view and moved away from the crowd, the boy cast a peek at you. You swear you saw a glimpse of color rushing through your orbs, even if it was just for a split second. You couldn't tell if this was a joke or a new experience for you because you were more terrified than excited.

Could you trust that vision? Would they leave your life like he once did or would they stay? (IT)

Although you wanted to stay and figure it out you had somewhere to be and you didn’t want anyone to waste that special time.

(1 hour later)

Opening the rusted gate and looking at the wrought iron fences sends shivers down your spine as you are whisked back to that tragic day.

--

As you headed towards the pit, a crack formed in your heart. As they lowered his casket into the black abyss, the steady steps of feet carried it there. Countless shadowy figures form a procession, speaking in unison to pay their respects to the one you cherish. Your inner essence is corrupted by despair, and your heart bleeds like a river inside. Nothing could ever make you feel better.

As they began to fill the hole with dirt, tears welled up in your eyes, prompting you to lower your head. He didn't want you to be sad; he knew his time was coming to an end, yet he felt so safe in his final days.

He wasn't going to abandon you; he'd promised you that he'd left you something to aid you along the path. Even if that were the case, you never discovered it after four years. You rummaged through his room and tore it apart.

You quickly recognized that he was either joking or that the drug had taken effect in his brain and he was talking gibberish. In any case, you made a pledge to visit his grave every day from that day forward to keep him company and to keep yourself sane.

---

Clutching onto your bag, the leaves crunched beneath your feet as you peered about. You see specks of people strewn throughout the cemetery as you hear some speak in low whispers. It didn't take you long to find his gravestone.

You noticed the dead flowers drooping over as you took them out of their vase beside the tomb. Replacing them always brought joy to your heart as the sight of a fresh bouquet of flowers brightened the somber ambiance, which contrasted with the mold-infested tomb.

Taking out your cleaning supplies and speaker, you start working on his tomb while listening to his favorite music. As you hummed along with the song, your soft-bristle brush softly scrubbed the headstone in an orbital motion from bottom to top, carefully avoiding the fissures.

As you finished the soap, you began to rinse the stone as dirt and debris began to fall off the tomb. Although you couldn't determine if everything was off, you could plainly see the phrases and symbols, which was a good hint to stop cleaning everything off.

You wanted to do more for him and not leave any dirt on the surface. But because everything was gray, you couldn't tell, which made you sulk as you put down your brush. As you check the clock on your phone, you exhale a sigh of relief.

7:23p.m

Looking around, you noticed the stragglers had dispersed, leaving you alone as you gazed up at the sky.

“I hope the sunset looks beautiful today, I do miss it.”

The late evening sunset was the one thing you missed more than your brother; you had always admired how everything just flowed and fit together in the evening sky. It's almost as if someone began painting and simply let their hand float through the air.

As you turned to face his tomb, another smile appeared on your face, prompting you to go into your bag for something. As you placed down a cup for you and him, you chuckled at the bottle revealed beneath the sky.

“Lucas, here's to another day. It's been difficult in recent years, but today was a good day. I sensed your presence through the music of some random person; it was strange, but I'm glad I was there to see it. So thank you,” you say, raising your shot glass in the air and taking a sip.

As you heard a voice, you wiped a stray tear from your face.

“I'm sorry for bothering you.”

“Shit, what the hell,” you cursed the dark figure, startled and terrified. Who is there? As you squint your eyes at him, a male emerges from the shadows.

It's him.

----

You cough as you stand up and face the nameless man, he extends his hand as his glasses slide down his narrow nose, “Hi I’m Wonwoo.”

You take his hand in yours and shake it slowly, his grip firm until you let go.

“Hi..wonwoo? “I'm Y/n.” As the boy grinned at you, your voice was barely audible.

He takes a careful step alongside you and sits down close to your brother's grave, placing a case beside him. As you enlarged your eyes and sat down next to him, still observing him, the atmosphere felt reassuring but strange.

“I apologize for startling you; I didn't know that you were there. I’m not sure if your brother mentioned me but I was his friend, we used to write songs together.” As he turned to face you, you noticed the tall man attempting to cross his legs.

You shook your head as you began to gather your belongings, unsure of who this man was. For all you knew, he may be lying to you, so you needed to get out of there as soon as possible. You rose up and began walking away after securing the zipper on your backpack.

“Wait, you don’t have to leave. I can come back another time. I am truly sorry if I interrupted anything."

“No, it's fine,” you say with a shake of your head and outstretched hands.

“Are you sure?”

You walk away again, nodding your head as you hear his voice and a familiar tune.

You came to a halt in your tracks as you slowly turned around to face the boy after hearing a faint melody. As your ears perked up, you heard a low voice.

‘I stand still before you before me. I’m okay, not okay..” The lyrics faded out as you started to find your bearings again as you made your way out of the cemetery. As you stepped toward the road, you strapped your bag on, making sure you had everything you needed.

A girl out on a walk is something you can see every day, yet you were unique. You walked as if you and the road had reached an agreement, as if the concrete was more than eager to support your feet.

The road understood you.

*Ping*

The light of your phone lit up as you clicked on the message.

Mom: Hey sweetie, I dropped off some food at your apartment and did some tidying up. Get home safety. 

You: Thanks mom.

Her message brought back memories of days when you and her would cook together and simply bond over the end result. You missed it. Because you live in different places, you don't get to see your parents very frequently, yet they always made time for you.

I wish you could do the same; home is just too much for you to stomach, and you'd rather avoid it.

You reach the corner street after a few more steps, ready to begin your one-mile trek home. As you look back after exhaling a sigh, you hear rumbling on your feet. An automobile approached you, its bright headlights blazing directly at you.

You shifted to the side, squinting your eyes at the sight, and wonwoo greeted you again before you realized it. He grinned at you with his dazzling whites as he bent his head down.

what is with this guy?

Hey, hop in, I'll give you a ride. It's becoming late, and I don't want you walking through here.”  As you took a step back, wary of the stranger, he moved his hand closer to you.

“Um.. No-no I’m okay. However, thank you.” As you heard his engine trailing behind you, you began to walk faster. He followed you for a few seconds longer before you came to a complete halt and stared at him.

Through the windshield, you could see him smirk as he waved his hand to you.

“It'll be a lot faster, and if you're worried I'll kidnap you or anything, don't fret. I'm allergic to cats, and I'm a cat person myself. As a result, I assure you that I will not harm you. I just wanted to help a friend.” You moved over to his car, smiled a little, and hopped in, securing yourself with your seatbelt.

“If you do anything I have some bleach and I’m not afraid to use it,” he chuckled at you as he started the car and proceeded to exit the cemetery.

“You’re funny.”

As you gave wonwoo your address he proceeded to drive out of the rural neighborhood as you put your head on the window. You didn't realize it at the time, but you could feel his penetrating glances.

The car was quiet as the low sounds of music vibrated through the car. When you weren't driving, car journeys were the best since they enabled your mind to fantasize and paint over the enormous landscape you were seeing. That haven you built in your imagination calms you and makes you feel protected. The place where you may get away from reality.

As soon as your eyes close for the night, you hear him humming a familiar tune. Rather than remaining silent, you begin a conversation with him, inquiring as to how he learned the song.

“So how did you meet Lucas?” As he laughed, he cast a peek at you.

“Well, I met him at a college party a long time ago and discovered he makes music, so we used to meet up at a friend's studio and just create.” You lightly chuckled as a tear fell down your face as you nodded your head.

It was good to hear other people talk about your other half; it was almost as if he was there with you right now.

You were worried when he gave you brief glances since his eyes were off the road, but as he spoke, you felt protected because he spoke highly of your brother.

“Well, I'm not sure if he mentioned you, but the last song we were working on was one he wrote for you, and he said it was a gift.” As you turned to face him after hearing that final statement, your eyes widened.

“He—he said those exact words, a gift?”

As he rounded the corner and approached your apartment complex building, he shook his head. You could see his shoulder resting on the window sill as he put the car in park.

You hesitantly walk out of the car, stuttering as you gather your belongings, and turn to face him.

“Thank you for the ride; did Lucas mention anything else about the song?” “He wasn't quite finished with it, but he did give me and my other friend some crucial stuff to get it done,” he said as you pressed your face closer to the window.

Your heart began to race as you realized that things were beginning to turn around for you; perhaps this wonwoo boy was destined to be in your life. Lucas' way of demonstrating that he took great care of you.

“Would you like to work on it together sometime?”

Inside, it felt as if the creatures were finally waking up from their rehabilitation and making their way into the real world. Even if it took a while, this new form of relief made you feel alive again. You were adamant about working more to reclaim your color.

In some way, wonwoo was the key to it all. 

“Yes, a hundred times yes,” you answered, smiling like a kid in a candy store as you handed him your phone. “Just let me know when you're free.”

Wonwoo returned your phone to you, which you joyfully accepted and placed in your pocket. As you walked to your door, you waved your hand at him and cried out to him one final time.

“Thank you”

“For what?” As you entered the flat and locked the door behind you, you waved your hand at him. You let out a sigh and shake your head as you slid down to the floor.

“What a day” 

---

(4 weeks later)

It seemed like you and wonwoo had entered a very unique connection in the last few weeks. He made every effort not to cross any boundaries, both physically and emotionally. Regardless of the fact that you were his closest friend's sister, he was always respectful to you.

Even if that is what he sees from his perspective, you felt more alive when you were with him. Although you could still see gray and couldn't bask in all of his glory, it gave you hope that one day, whenever that time came, you'd be able to see him and everything else.

That was something you lacked previously: hope. Everyone around you including your parents could see a significant change in your life.

--

“Hey, honey, how's it going at work?” Before taking your purse, your mother kissed your cheek and opened the door for you.

As you met her at your old house, a smile emerged on your face. It was your first visit home in a while, and seeing you there brought joy to their hearts, despite the difficult years you've had.

“Everything has been going well, and I just wanted to drop by and see how you're doing. I miss seeing you and dad.”

“Is that my beautiful daughter, am I seeing things right?” your father exclaimed as he emerged from the back. As a tear trickled down your cheek, you watched as he raced over to you and hugged you.

As he stared at your face and admired it, the hue in front of you remained gray.

“Such lovely brown eyes,"  It pained your soul that you couldn't remember what they looked like since gray dulled everything and made you forget.

“Thank you, dad, but instead of fawning me, let's play some games. Just because life is bleak doesn't mean I can't be your ass at Monopoly.”

Your mother, gasping at your remark, watched from the back, her eyes welling up with tears as she marveled at a sight she hadn't seen in a long time.

“Moooom, don't start sobbing or dad will start crying,” you said as you turned around.

She comes over to your side and wraps you and your father in a hug, sandwiching you between them. It felt good because you were missing these times with your folks. You couldn't stay at home when your brother died; you had to leave and get away. Everything was just too much for you as things started to remind you of him.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

“I'm really proud of you for coming here and having the confidence to do so. I understand how difficult it must be for you, but thank you.” Through the loud sniffles between you all, you started to feel warm as you wiped your tears.

“All right, no more crying; let's get down to business.” You dashed over to the couch and snatched up Monopoly from the board game box, motioning for them to join you. They chuckled as you began to pull everything out as they made their way over.

As loud yells and laughter echoed out throughout the home, the night was fresh and enjoyable. There were times when you were terrified you'd lose, but you couldn't let your champion status lapse.

Your mother said, "Noo, you're cheating."

“No, I'm not; there's a house there, and you need to pay up or I'll put you in jail.” Between the two, your father snickers and keeps his mouth shut. He was well aware of the rules.

“All right, but that wasn't there before.”

With a chuckle, you shook your head and held out your hand, saying, "excuses excuses."

As you turned off your alarm, it rang at 8:00 p.m. You wouldn't have realized the difference between night and day if it hadn't been for alarm clocks. You jumped up in triumph after placing one more piece on the board.

“And that's why I remain Monopoly's ruler.”

You witnessed your parents give up as they lifted their hands in surrender. They both remark, "Fine, you win," as they begin to clean up the mess. Taking the stray cups and bowls from the tables you set them in the sink as you turned to watch your parents.

It's been a long time since you've been back here, and you've certainly missed the atmosphere. Lucas wouldn't want me to miss out on this opportunity.

“Why don't I come on weekends and bring back board game nights?” As your parents turned back, you uttered, "Next time, I'll bring a friend."

“Oh, it would be wonderful; the more the better.”

As you walked back over to them, you hugged them as they kissed your head.

“You go, we'll take care of this; the drive back is long,” your father remarked as he took your bag and handed it to you.

“Thank you guys, and I love you and the night we just had.” As you approached the door, you waved goodbye before closing it.

“No thank you, love,” your mother said as she and your father watched you leave the home and get into your car.

After one last look at the house, you back out of the driveway and go down the street, looking forward to the day ahead.

Studio day!

--

You yawn as your body startles you up after taking a deep breath of fresh air. As you slowly open your eyes and look out the window, you breathe a sigh of relief. Something felt different. The chirping of the birds outside made you feel cheerful, not sad.

As your vision remained a little lighter, you began to blink your eyes faster. It wasn't your typical gray morning, and you thought it was growing lighter. The gray was gradually dissipating. You grinned as you considered your color returning.

What prompted this?

It didn't matter because today was dedicated to finishing your song; you, wonwoo, and his friend Mingyu had completed all but the title. You stretch one more time before heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

When you get to the mirror, you take a look at yourself. The person in front of you had radically transformed; she had forgotten about her flaws and insecurities, and her heart now held more love. This woman didn't pick apart everything that was wrong with her; instead, she supported herself.

She was unrecognizable, and the old girl in the mirror was finally slipping away. You began to smile more frequently and laugh a little more, and the air around you became warmer rather than frigid. Someone's love had seeped into her heart and begun to unfreeze its hardness.

And that person was wonwoo, which you didn't realize until you looked in the mirror. If you've observed it, chances are that others have as well. And you were grateful for his help in getting you out of that gloomy situation. You were able to regain your trust and begin letting people in again, which made you pleased.

Lucas would be incredibly proud of you, and you didn't want to disappoint him again. You intended to honor his memory and keep him alive in your heart, rather than allowing the past to plague you and prevent you from living your life.

He would have wanted that. 

As you stepped inside, you turned on the shower and stripped off your clothing. You had to find a method to repay wonwoo for his compassion. You would not have gotten this far without him and his musical gift, and you were grateful for him.

"I could take him to our place," you offer as you turn off the water and grab a towel from the shower.

“Yeah he would like that.”

----

Work seemed to fly by as your mind raced at a hundred miles per hour. You had everything planned out and had recruited the support of your parents to help you set up.

Your manager tapped your shoulder and asked, "Hey y/n, you okay?" As you dropped the pencil, you flinched.

“Oh sorry, just spacing out.” He shook his head as he spoke out, “For the rest of your shift you can take off if you want, we’re going to close earlier than usual. If you're leaving, clean out the coffee machine and be on your way.”

You enlarged your eyes as your jaw dropped, and you raced into his arms, squeezing him tightly. Your boss chuckled awkwardly as he gently pushed you away from him. For some reason, everything seemed to be working in your favor today. As you rush to get ready, you begin working on the machine, your smile never leaving your face.

You sped to the back room, clocking out and placing your apron into your locker, as you were done in no time. As you walked to the front, you waved goodbye to your manager before heading to your car in the parking area.

“What's the matter with her? That's the first time I've ever seen her that happy. Hmm”

And with that you were on your way to your parents house as you sent a quick text to wonwoo. As you grinned as you placed your phone in the dash holder, you came to a stop light.

You: Hey cancel today's session, I have a place to go to. It may also provide us with better title recommendations. You down??

Wonwoo:) Yes, that sounds excellent; the studio can become claustrophobic. Send me the address and a time frame for my arrival.

You: *address name*. Bring your guitar and meet there in 2 hours.

Wonwoo:) Oh okay. Can’t wait to see you there!

(read 5:45 p.m.)

Even though you weren’t nervous you wanted everything to be special, wonwoo deserved it for all that he has done for you in the past weeks.

You let yourself go as you blast songs down the road, pressing play on your playlist. You didn't notice it at first, but the color was gently sneaking in as you drove around. As creams and beige colors drifted in and out, the outsides of your eyes began to lift.

As you turned off the headlights and opened the door, it didn't take long for you to arrive at your destination. You smiled as you got your belongings from the car and made your way up the hill, finding your parents already set up.

You drop your belongings on the blanket and walk up to hug them, saying, "Hey guys." As they begin to chat with you, they embrace you in a friendly hug.

“So we set up all of the essential elements, such as lighting, a seating area, and refreshments in the cooler and basket.” As she began to indicate the various components, your mother explained. As she brought you around the hill to the tree, she took your hand in hers.

“You remember when you and Lucas did this?” You laugh as you remember that day as you place your palm on the antique carving.

-- “Noo I'd like to go first; you always go first.” You sighed as Lucas took up the knife and began carving his name into the tree.

“You better not cry and tell mom,” he remarked, turning to face you and seeing your glum demeanor. As you passed past him, you stood up straighter, rolling your eyes at him and snatching the knife from his grip.

“I'm not a baby like you,” you say. As he huffed and hurried toward mom, you heard him scoff.

“Mommmm y/n referring to me as a baby. And I'm not one of them. You stood there watching as he stomped his foot and landed on Mom's lap. Your father chuckles, rubbing his back and shaking his head at his wife.

As you return to the blanket, you cross your arms and say, "Well, then, quit acting like one."

That erupted in an outburst as he started to whine on mommy lap.

He did, in fact, act like a baby. Wiping a tear from your eyes as you chuckle, you hold your mother closer as you kiss her on the forehead.

“Hey we have an hour left before wonwoo get here, I'm going to head to the house to clean up. If he arrives early, keep him entertained.” As she watches you descend the hill, your mother shakes her head.

As you pull out of the parking lot, you put your foot down on the accelerator and drive over to your parents' house.

(45 minutes later)

Wonwoo approaches the destination, looking out the windshield as he spots some lights on the hill. As he steps out of the automobile, he notices two people moving around. He smiles as he collects his guitar from the rear and walks up the hill, noting the serene atmosphere.

“Those should go over by the tree and make sure they don't fall.” Wonwoo enters the place, his eyes widening. Fluorescent bulbs fanned out along the tops of the trees, each with a different picture on it, surrounding him.

As he looks down, he notices a blanket with a speaker playing music and the champagne.

Your parents finally turn around, gasping, when your mother rushes over to welcome him, saying, "Forgive us, we didn't hear anything, you must be wonwoo." That's y/n father over there, and I'm y/n mother.” As she introduces you to your father, she smiles and gives you a motherly look.

On this magnificent evening, only a few minutes had passed when you approached the hill once more. You take a brief glance in the mirror before applying some Chapstick. Rubbing it in you open the door as you look up on the hill, you hear conversations as you panic up the hill.

“So this is y/n, she was quite the messy twin when she was a baby-”

“What are you doing, Mom?” You walk over to her, ashamed, and place yourself between you and wonwoo, speaking quietly to her.

“I said to entertain him not embarrass me.”

“Oh, you're overthinking things; did you know he's friends with Lucas?” You chuckle as you grab your father and mother and begin bickering as you force them out of the location. As they descend the slope, they wave goodbye to you and wonwoo.

Taking one look at him, you notice his amusing state; he was cheesing so hard that his rosy cheeks were visible.

“Sorry about them.”

“It's fine; all parents do it.” They simply adore you.” You cross your legs and shake your head as you sit on the blanket, passing him a wine cup.

“To another wonderful day and a wonderful friendship.” Wonwoo takes out the champagne from the cooler as he opens it and sprays the excess in front of you.

“Ahh, you're spilling it” As you giggle at his action, the extra juice pours on your face. You reach for a napkin to wipe the wetness off your face as he takes one in front of you.

“Here, let me take care of it.” He leans in closer as he wipes the liquid from your face before resuming his seat. As your stomach begins to become a #1 gymnast, that simple action sends you spiraling.

“Th-thanks”

He smiles as he pours you a drink for both of you, and as he does so, you grab his guitar box and pry it open, admiring the golden beauty inside. Picking it up, you begin strumming a few chords of the nameless song while moving your head to the beat.

“Wow, you're actually pretty good.”

“I did have a good teacher, Lucas taught me a few things, but I only recall a few chords, so it may become irritating after a while.”

Wonwoo hands you the glass as you take it in your hand, and as you take a sip of the bubbly drink, you hand him the guitar.

As you take another sip, your spirits lift as you stare out at the scenery in front of you. You hear wonwoo begin to play the tune while you stare off towards the colorless world.

“Ruinous imagination consumes me. Makes me dream sweeter dreams, I close my eyes but thoughts of you. Bring noisy night, to you & me, real and dreamy.” 

You sway back and forth as his voice soothes your body, his palm brushing over the guitar while his eyelids close, taking in the lyrics.

As you look up at him, you say, "Thank you." It's unavoidable, but tears stream down your face with no attempt to wipe them away.

“Th-thank you foreverythingyouhave-“ you say quickly and brokenly.

“Hey hey, calm down, I can't understand what you're saying,” he says as he scoots over to you and pats your shoulder. You both laugh as you start over, this time with more poise.

“I wanted to express my gratitude to you for genuinely improving my life. You probably don't know, but my relationship with Lucas was incredible; we were never apart, and when he passed, I couldn't live without him. I've struck rock bottom a few times and done some unfathomable things that I'm ashamed of, and I'm sincerely grateful that I've survived another day.”

Wonwoo drew you into a hug and caressed your back as he ceased patting your shoulder. As you sob into his shoulder, the tears begin to flow again.

“Sorry for interrupting, but it seemed like you needed one,” he says as you continue, releasing leave of you.

“To put it simply, you have brought me so much joy and optimism that I am overwhelmed. It's not the same without Lucas, but I'm grateful you entered my life at this point. So thank you; I don't know how to express my gratitude.”

You come to a halt as he looks at you through his round spectacles, and as you become concerned, you begin to look down.

“Sorry if I just spewed all that out.”

“No, it's fine.” I truly appreciate it, and I'm glad I was able to restore a sense of hope in your life. I may not be Lucas, but I will do my best to pay tribute to his memory.

You smile as you feel a wave of self-assurance and an overpowering sensation of bravery wash over you.

When you bring wonwoo closer to you and kiss him on the lips, everything inside of you turns on, and your body begins to feel alive again, exactly like it did before.

“I'm sorry I should have asked you first-“ You release him and lean back as you watch him.

He silenced your words with his lips as his hands wrapped around your neck.

Everything comes rushing back to you in an instant, like a blanket being pulled off of you. As you open your eyes again, you let go of each other. The difference this time is that you can see him.

As he smiled at you, you could see his cheeks flush with scarlet. You can see his silver rings around his slender fingers as his hands slip away from your neck.

You slowly turn around to face the sinking light on the horizon. As if a million scarlet petals have ignited, the sunset blooms on the horizon.

You expected the tears to flow this time as you stood up and walked closer to the cliff's edge. As you stared at the gorgeous view in front of you, you undoubtedly looked a mess.

You collapse to your knees and exclaim, "I can see it!"

Wonwoo approaches you slowly, bending down with you and holding you in his arms.

“See what?”

As you held him again, your snot-filled tear-streaked face turned to his.

“The color has returned, and I can see it now.” As he gasps, he pulls you back.

“Wait, are you serious, what color shirt am I wearing?” 

“IT'S GREEN, YOUR SHIRT IS GREEN!!” Wonwoo scoops you up and spins you again in an instant. You lay another kiss on his lips as you chuckle into his lips, unsure of what to do.

The clouds floated into my life, not to bring rain or storms, but to add color to the sunset sky.

He picks up the polaroid camera off the ground and takes a candid shot of you. After he pecked your cheek once more, he smiled as he wanted to remember this special day.

You send wonwoo off to find a knife from the basket as the photo develops. You observe him as he runs around the area like a child, and you smile as the photo develops.

You've probably seen images where the background is blurred and the only thing in focus is the subject of the photograph. That was us. Every other detail became hazy as I concentrated on every facet of him.

You didn't realize how fortunate you were until now; he was the special someone you had wished for eons ago.

Everything felt even better when your color returned, and you knew deep down that everything was going to be well.

It was all because of wonwoo.

Your brother left you a gift, the lovely gift of music, which was seen via wonwoo.

Yes, your brother had been your best friend, and yes, he had left you. But, as you found a great friend, the life he presumably wanted for you had only just begun.

You hoped that with him, you would be able to treasure the love you had just as much as you did while you were together.

“Hey, wonwoo, I have a song title, also follow me.”

As he began heading toward you, he turned around and looked at you. You've both arrived at the same tree that was planted many years ago.

He gives you the knife as you start placing your name under your past self. As he watches you cry, Wonwoo does the same.

*Forever, Y/n, Wonwoo, and Lucas*

As he finishes up, you grab his hand and stroll back to the blanket setup. He takes a seat beside you and wraps his arm over your body.

“So, what are your thoughts?” 

“Bittersweet, that's the title,” you said as you turned to face him.

“I love it,” he says as he pulls you closer to him with a nod of his head.

And with that, your brother's memory was carefully preserved, shared, and intended for all to hear.

“Lucas, I'll never forget you.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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