#I was a little self-indulgent w these but I had fun writing them :3

[autisticbucktommy]

autistic tommy kinard headcanons:

Must wear slippers inside the house at all times, but no socks ever.

Makes the exact same coffee and breakfast every single day (he may change it up, every 7 years or so, if his safe food changes).

Cuts all the tags off his clothes. He only wears cotton or flannel, none of this rayon-polyester blend crap.

He is hypo-sensitive (sensory seeking) when it comes to food. He needs texture, crunch, spice, different flavors. And Buck watches on in horror whenever Tommy makes himself a sandwich and it has at least 4 different sauces, with chips and marshmallows. Buck swears that Tommy blindly chooses ingredients from the fridge and mashes together whatever will fit into his mouth.

He watches the same comfort romcom movies on repeat. He's seen "Love Actually" at least 200 times. It's comforting to play in the background while he does housework.

He hates hates when people bail on plans at the last minute or when they consistently show up late. It makes his skin itch.

He regulates his nervous system mostly through Muay Thai workouts, lifting, etc. but he also meditates every morning to help prevent burnout/meltdowns.

When he's on shift for 24-48 at harbour, his coworkers know to give him a wide birth of space between calls. He needs to carve out alone time or he gets snappy.

His intense feelings about social justice have gotten him in trouble more than once. He's always stepping in if someone is rude to a waiter or if he overhears a racist comment; he sees red and loses it. He's gotten better at handling his temper with age but he's still working on it.

After Buck and him get back together and have some deep talks, Tommy finds himself opening up to his boyfriend in ways he never has with anyone else. Evan quickly becomes his "safe person" who he can depend on when he's in a bad headspace. He gets in the habit of calling Evan's contact number, instead of hiding away and beating himself up over it.

Sometimes Tommy feels like he's vibrating out of his skin and the usual light-stimming (tapping his fingers against his legs, tapping his foot, etc.) isn't enough to tide him over. And so he just looks at Evan with this twinkle in his eye (Evan calls it his big scary monster look) before he attacks Evan with cuteness aggression; tackling him into the couch or bed with feral energy, as he growls and mauls him. Kissing him, squeezing him all over, wrestling him and pinning his arms above his head, and then fucking him, if the mood calls for it.

Buck buys Tommy a shirt that says "autistic and ready to fuck" as a joke gift one year for Christmas and Tommy wears it unironically around the house. And he thinks he's hilarious because sometimes he'll come out of the bedroom wearing it and nothing else, and then crook his finger like "let's do this" and Evan rolls his eyes every time because what a goofball?? What an absolute DORK of a man, he thinks, as he trips over his own feet to follow him like an eager puppy.

Tommy has an oral fixation. he loves eating Buck out. He'll do it for hours if Evan will let him. Tommy will come home from work, put his stuff away, and then he's yanking Evan's pants down and flipping him over and he's got his mouth on him. He loves lazily eating Evan out and he loves controlling if and when Evan can touch himself about it.

Tommy likes being in control in general, but especially in the bedroom. It's incredibly satisfying telling Buck what to do, because he takes it like a dream. So eager to obey, eager to please. And always so good for Tommy, which tickles his brain in the most satisfying way.

Tommy loves tying people up. He's been studying Shibari since his early 20's when he learned about it from one of his buddies in the army. There's something about working with his hands in that way, that puts him in a meditative trance. He's a regular at a few kink-rope events in the city and he will tie up various levels of kinksters who choose to volunteer. 95% of the time it's not sexual for him, unless he's doing it to his own partner. But even then, depending on the person, it can bring them so deep into sub space that he often leaves them (with supervision) to float in that euphoria for an hour or so, before working to untie and massage them; giving them after care and sweet kisses.

His favorite things to collect are work tools, bondage rope, and DVD's (the latter of which Evan relentlessly teases him about).

When he was a kid, Tommy's dad refused to believe the teachers when they suggested Tommy be tested for autism. And he made Tommy's life hell at home because of it. He knew Tommy was different and would do everything he could to try and "fix him", which would often leave young Tommy covered in bruises where other adults couldn't see them. "You can't scare the autism out of a child, but try telling my dad that," Tommy had said to Evan about his dad one day.

When Tommy needed minor surgery in the hospital as a kid, one of the nurses gave him a teddy bear named "Max" and he used to keep it under his pillow to hold when he got scared. Occasionally in adulthood, he'd pull Max out of his closet when he needed something to squeeze extra tight to make him feel better. He hasn't needed Max since Evan walked into his life though. Now he just squeezes Evan and does a happy wiggle under the sheets, nuzzling into the back of his boyfriend's neck with a sappy grin.

[astrxealis]

fun story i got the dlc of 'a date with death' at school LMFAO ..... i have cash but not gcash (it's a filipino thing) so i was talking w my friend in class who also played the game (and she calls me a nerd /pos a lot lol) and i was like i want the dlc but i have no gcash... and she was like ok i'll give you gcash..... enabler ....... but also she wants me to tell her abt it so. ^_^ ecks dee

[uselesssomebody]

𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕦𝕡 - post!d&w!logan howlett x reader

complete masterlist | logan howlett - coming soon!

words || 𝟚.𝟡𝕜

summary || in which the reader gets stood up, and logan consoles her - in more than one way

a/n || self indulgent :)) guess what happened to me guys !!

➵ i know i've been literally dead but i may be back! not sure fully yet lol but i've missed writing. shocker, college is in fact hard and i've spent a whileeee adjusting. that also means my writing is prob a bit shit here but i just wanted to get this out

➵ first time writing logan - i watched deadpool & wolverine and oh my godddd this man can fucking get it. haven't watched the x-men movies so i kinda had to guess his accent, sorry if it's inconsistent. this is set after the events of deadpool & wolverine

➵ shall i revamp the blog theme guys? i don't have any ideas but idk if you guys are bored by it haha

➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff/smut/a wee bit of angst

➵ fingering

➵ age gap (not a plot point)

(tell me if i miss anything)

having 2 people in a one bedroom apartment was already cramped. 3 is insane. as much as wade tried, he felt bad for poor hugh's - *cough* logan's back for constantly swapping between the dingy couch and the mattress on the floor to sleep.

and the wolverine was never the type to ask for help, it pissed him off. they had been nearly atomized together for christ's sake!

another room on the floor had opened up, and as much as wade wanted to kick blind al off to that room instead, he knew the old lady wouldn't be able to pay the whole rent herself, and he had to make sure she didn't use too much fun-time sugar under fox's watchful eye. luckily, neither did logan have to live alone, as wade was quick to find a down-on-her-luck college girl who needed cheap rent.

so, now wade's stuck with an ornery old woman, and pretty-boy - well, man - logan got to have a cute girl as his roommate. just his luck. he checked in on his fellow invincible often, and as much as logan didn't talk, wade knew he didn't mind her one bit.

she tried to be a good roommate - cook breakfast for the both of them, pick up a sweet treat for him too if she was getting one for herself, and trying to keep to herself with the studying. but she couldn't help the little crush that she had on her roommate. like, come on.

older, mature, mysterious, downright yummy? what's a girl to do? she kept it to herself, but seeing him smirk or chuckle when she realizes she's accidentally been staring at him in that leather jacket or shirtless going to bed. at least she doesn't make him uncomfortable, but it feels pretty dismissive - how he sees her as such a fucking kid that he can't even take her attraction seriously.

logan took it very fucking seriously.

every day was a mental challenge - truly, god gives his worst temptations to his strongest soldiers. the liquor on his breath was still strong, not now because his life was ruined, but rather because his mind was.

this cute, young girl who looked at him like he was the solution to all her relationship issues, like his old-man body was good enough to fucking eat? it was a miracle that he hadn't taken her. and she just looked so beautiful as she got ready for bed, or as she bobbed her head to music while she studied, or as she buzzed around the small kitchen to cook her third cheap pasta for the week.

it didn't help how she'd always ask how he is, buy him little things to keep his mood up, and always offered to take the couch. he'd rather eat glass than let her sleep on the couch, but nonetheless, she offered every day.

fuck. it was impossible to sleep when she was just behind the wall, in her fucking shorts and tank. unbelievable. he needed a fucking drink.

some nights, he'll come home in the evenings to an empty house. it's rare - she doesn't have too much money to go out, but when she does, she'll usually warn him she'll be home late. he always makes sure to stay awake until she gets home, and even had the privilege of going into downtown to pick her up after the friends she was with had managed to lose her. she had hiccuped, tearing up in embarrassment as she watched him approach her drunk form leaning on a tree outside. she had thought the stern arch of his brow was because of her calling him so late, when really, he was just angry that her friends had the audacity to put her in such a dangerous situation.

"it's windy." he grunts, and she looks down at her short, strappy dress, ashamed.

"s-sorry. we drove here." she tries to explain, and logan relents, brow going from angry to grumpy.

"yeah." he finally sighs, walking with her back to their place. seeing her hands go to cradle her elbows, he places his leather jacket over her shoulders, and she swallows thickly.

"you don't have to-" but he's lighting a cigar as she speaks, in just his wifebeater he'd been lounging in. she decides to shut up, silent until they reach the house.

he helps her in and then waits outside to finish the cigar, and after she gets in, she sighs softly, carefully placing the jacket down. she starts trying to make logan some dinner as a thank-you, but passes out at the dinner table half-way through. luckily, she hadn't had the stove on, and logan's heart melts as he sees her, halfway through mixing a few eggs, head lolling off the chair as she drools a little.

cutie, he thinks, separating her fingers from the fork and bowl, and carrying her into the bed. as he tries to set her down, her fingers clutch his arm, and a small, sleepy whine leaves her.

logan's not a man to blush, but hearing that little beg for him to stay makes him fucking burn. he looks down at her, a hand running through his hair, and he gently tries to let her down again. she just holds on tighter, groaning, "warm..." a little mumble escapes her, and logan huffs. of course it's not that she wants him, she's just cold. he sighs, sitting down and letting her cuddle into his arm.

he had planned to leave once she'd passed out, but it was late, and he was old, so he had ended up just sleeping next to her anyways. the sun's rays the next morning pierce his eyes, and he sighs softly, waking up next to her. he swallows thickly, watching the way the sun hits her form, bathing her exposed skin in orange and amber.

the moment is broken by her startling awake. for a moment, she sighs happily, thinking that this was just a continuation of her dream about logan, where she wakes up next to him after a night of great sex, and they both live happily ever after. then she blinks.

his bicep feels bigger than in the dream, his face looks a little more real, he's- real?!

she squeaks, immediately sitting up.

"logan?"

"don't go getting any ideas in your head." he immediately defends, sighing. "you called me last night."

she bites her lip.

"you took me home?"

"put you in bed too. then ya fucking kept me on ya like a boa." he's joking, but she still struggles to tell between his grumpy voice and his joking grumpy voice.

"fuck, i'm really sorry, must have ruined your night-" she starts, and he gets up, ruffling her hair.

"it's okay. better knowing you were safe." it leaves her a little star struck, especially when he then goes to continue making the omelette she had tried to make last night.

he's cooking for her for once and she gets such a nice view of his broad back in that wife-beater. maybe things aren't that bad.

knowing how she always texts if she's out late, he's a bit confused to come home to an empty room. he huffs, trying not to panic, but he can't help how much he care for the girl. he leans back, lounging on the couch.

as an hour passes with no texts, he's about to get up and ... do something. look for her, call her - something.

just then, she walks through the door, purse dropping on the floor with a thud.

that's an attitude he hadn't seen before. she looks like a deer in headlights when she notices that he is in fact home.

"o-oh." she blinks, quickly picking up the purse, as if to console it. "wade said you weren't home." logan raises a brow, a little curious why the other man would say that.

"long day?" he finally comments, and she breathes out.

"shit day." she corrects. logan's brow furrows.

"hmm." he murmurs, stretching his arm out over the back of the couch. an open invitation. she hesitates but... he looks warm.

conservatively, she sits beside him, hands in her lap. she's not even paying attention to whatever channel logan has on as background noise.

theres maybe 5 solid minutes of silence.

finally, she sighs.

"i'm gonna go to bed." she murmurs softly, getting up. logan wraps his fingers around her palm.

"talk to me." he mumbles gruffly, and she knows that's a pretty big first step for him. she bites her lip, sitting back down, and takes a deep breath.

"got stood up." it's little more than a whisper, and she feels a pout forming on her lips, which she tries to reverse, to little avail. it's silent again, and she wonders if logan heard her.

of course, he did - spending a moment processing who the hell would stand her up.

"i'm sorry." his rough fingers press over hers, comforting, and she can't help but sink more into him than the couch cushions.

it feels nice, more right than the kisses she'd shared with the guy she'd been seeing.

"whatever." she tries to mumble, trying not to show her hurt.

"he's an idiot." his hand slips around her shoulders, and he can feel her pulse quicken.

"i'm an idiot."

"he's an idiot." he repeats sternly. "who was he?" she bites her lip.

"some... guy." logan suppresses a scoffing bark.

"not if he's got you like this." he looks down at her. she's ashamed to look up at him.

"i don't know... i just really liked him. i thought he liked me too." she feels a tear slip out, and logan's fist squeezes in anger as he sees her quickly wipe it away.

"he should be singin' his prayers that he even got your attention." that makes her giggle - strained, but there. he prefers the sound to her defeated mumbles. "look at me." he murmurs, taking her chin and angling it to face him. his eyes travel down to the cute dress she'd put on for her date - low cut, perfectly form fitting, "he's a fucking idiot." he whispers, hand slipping down to her waist.

"yeah?" she whispers, significantly less focused on aforementioned 'fucking idiot' now.

"yeah, princess." he murmurs, hand gently running up and down her side. he knows he shouldn't, but he can practically feel the jump of her heart at the endearment. "you like that? princess?" his voice almost has a teasing lilt, and her lids flutter at the difference in tension from 2 minutes ago.

"a little." her face looks so bashful, so unsure. after that depressing feeling of not being wanted - god, he wants to pull her out of that so bad.

"should be treated like a princess." she shifts imperceptibly closer.

"got a guy who'll do that for me?" she teases, and logan scoffs softly.

"you know i do." his voice carries that gruffness even with how quiet he is, speaking into the small space between their lips. "you know, princess."

she breathes out shakily, leaning forward, when logan pulls her chin, pressing his lips to hers. she whimpers softly, finding her hands and placing them at his nape, not wanting to let go. it's not rough, but needy, his other hand slipping to the hem of her dress on her thigh. she hums into his lips, as he pulls away, a little breathless.

"don't - we shouldn't." he whispers, and a pout graces her lips - a proper one.

"why?"

"yer upset." he sighs, but doesn't move away.

"about?" she says playfully, having fully forgotten about her evening; she'd been waiting for this for so long. he lets out a gruff bark of a laugh, pulling her closer, and she adjusts, getting on his lap.

"come on, bub." he scolds again, and she hums, leaning down to kiss him.

"please?" she whispers, against his lips. he groans.

"jesus, what're y'doin' to me?" his head tilts back, and she giggles, exhilarated that she's got him like this. her hands trail down his arms - god, his arms - tracing the veins, somehow always bulging, as she gently leans forward again, kissing him. this time, theres a bit more tongue, and he pulls her closer roughly, gnashing their teeth together. she moans softly into his mouth, fingers finding his rough palm. he grips them tight - not enough to hurt, but just enough to show that he's holding back.

"i'm not made of glass." she teases, and he scoffs softly.

"i could snap ya'n half." his mumble finds his way back into her lips, and she has to control herself to not showhow much the little quip affected her.

"maybe i want you to."

"jesus." he flips her over, onto her back, "got this pretty little dress on, fuck, that guy's an idiot." his hands travel down her thighs, and she bites her lip, a massive grin on her face.

"you like it?" she murmurs softly, playing with the strap of her dress.

"whadya think?" he huffs, and she giggles.

"and if i told you i got it for you?" logan presses a hot kiss to the side of her thigh.

"i'd tell ya to get a dozen more." his lips move up her thigh slowly, and she lets out a shaky breath.

"god, logan." her whispers of his name are like music to his ear, and he leaves a small bite by the hem of her dress.

"gotta tell me if i hurt you." he mutters, more seriously, and she smiles.

"only fun if it hurts."

"i'm serious, princess." she relents.

"i'll tell you." he sighs in content, gently riding her dress off.

"this okay?"

"more than okay." she helps him, pulling the dress over her hips, her lacy panties peeking under the fabric. when he spends just a bit too long staring, she giggles, "you can touch." she affirms, and he barks out a gruff lap.

"could'a guessed that much." his fingers trace the hem of them, travelling down her inner thighs. her breath hitches, and she gently rolls her hips, desperate for more.

"please, logan." she whispers, breathing a bit labored. though he'd love to tease, he's getting desperate too.

"gotta tell me what ya want, princess." he murmurs, and she bites her lip, almost shy again. it's cute.

"touch me?" she murmurs, almost like it's a favor she's asking. he kisses her thigh again, before gently peeling the panties off. he lets out a soft groan at how slick she is, fingers catching her arousal as they travel down her slit. she lets out a shocked gasp - practically a moan - and he fucking loves it.

`'need them, princess?" he smirks at her, and she nods, almost pathetically.

"god, i do." he obliges, gently prodding her entrance with his middle finger. he slips in with little resistance, but jesus, he can feel how tight she is.

"fuck, yer gonna be the death of me, princess." he groans softly, and she lets out a breathy giggle.

"thought that doesn't happen to you?"

"well, never had a girl as pretty as you." he murmurs, slipping another finger in. she flushes, back arching as his fingers do, body warm as she rocks her hips in time with his ministrations.

"faster?" she begs softly, and he could never say no to those big doe eyes. he starts moving faster, her slick absolutely coating his fingers, and she moans louder, hips moving in a more stuttered rhythm.

"like that?" that teasing lilt is in his voice, and she nods furiously.

"j-just like that-" she stammers, mind already foggy, "god, i'm close, please don't stop."

"not in a million years, princess." she lets out a loud moan as she can feel herself unraveling, the orgasm so powerful that her thighs shake around him as she cums. she pants as he helps her ride through it.

"good girl, just like that, princess," he consoles, "so fuckin' pretty for me, ain't cha?" he grins, as she starts to come down. as her breathing slows, so too do his fingers, before slowly sliding them out of her. he gently rubs her clit, just to see her jolt at the stimulation, before chuckling, and placing his soaked fingers onto his tongue.

she lets out another moan as she watches him, with lidded eyes.

"i'll cum again." she warns, playfully, and he's gleeful. she tastes like fruit.

"i plan on it, princess." she feels her cheeks warm.

"that's the hardest i've cum in a while." she admits shyly.

"sounded like it." he teases, but before they can get anything else out, there's banging on the wall that connected them to wade and blind al.

"these walls are paper thin!" al's screech sounds a little traumatized, and her scolding make both her and logan whip around, embarrassed.

"for once in my life, i agree with her! shut up, lovebirds, i wanna fucking sleep!" wade's voice is equally exasperated.

there's silence, until she calls back a bashful, "sorry!" she turns to logan, almost laughing, but still flushed with shame. "maybe we should stop. he scoffs.

"nah, just means i gotta teach ya to be quiet."

safe to say, she's not thinking at all about her date tonight.

[drifloonz]

your steven interpretation is boring and fits into the fanon characterization of steven, i wish you would be a little more unique with how you write him :(((((((

i do Not feel like this is true bc fanon steven is like nothingburger sexy guy or yandere... esque?? or things like that that make him very shallow and one note . And not super depressed and mentally ill as he would be. literally like Fanon Steven is Not my steven and my steven is also very near and dear to my heart bc hes a comfort character who i had when i was going through a lot of shit! Like Actually! I think about him a lot! And a lot of the things i do w him are lifted from canon and the ways i interpret and analyze the og story. not a lot of the fanon or fandom stuff ... Does that. a lot of it is very divorced from stevens struggles and story and the fact its a tragedy in favor of shipping or whatever else. they do not give steven realistic struggles.

also bc i havent properly written steven in ages. idk if you read my headcanons or analysis'. Read Those if so. I dont actually write shit almost ever especially now i do not write him as a character bc i like to think about him and how hed do things, i dont like to Write him.

my keyboard is broken i am tired and depressed and dont really have many ideas for things to write with him bc i exhausted a lot of them. i still think about steven daily though, im mostly focused on my self indulgent shit i write because thats all all of this was. sharing my self indulgent shit with people who are fighting for Crumbs of steven.

i think ab him more than almost anybody else seems to in this fandom other than a few people i personally know ( shout out to like 3-4ish people ) and a few others i dont personally know. There are not many people i know who have the same headcanons and a lot that did i think took it from me? which is kinda funny. i dont own steven having bpd but i think its a thing i popularized more for example afaik. i see little bits of my headcanons rippling into other peoples and its fun

Also what the fuck do you mean 'boring' what do you want the depressed adult ass man to do when hes isolated. Sorry that he is not dancing for ur entertainment? Sorry that hes not a crazed serial murderer!!! when... he.. Wouldnt be he only really killed mike and nobody takes doors open as canon ever bc its stupid. I have no idea what you mean by boring. the fuck would an 'interesting' interpretation be. i am not interested in entirely redoing his concept as a character or his story nor am i fucking rewriting strangled red or am ever interested in it bc i think its fine on its own and whenever anyone tries its usually... Not good. Even ( and especially ) when smr did it LOL ( thankfully he never got to strangled red proper ).

i dont like a lot of people that do that unless it has a reason because i think the og story is perfectly fine untouched even if some parts could be elaborated on or explained better, but i dont think you have to shove super big changes to things like 'missingno is actually a conscious entity that talks to him!!! mike DID kill her' Like this detracts from a lot of the story and things that do that at least in my opinion make it.. more boring. its fine if people like that but its not for me. you dont need to make strangled red more dramatic and explain away everything. some of the vagueness is the fun of it.

i just wanted to share headcanons and my own projections that i think would fit him to the world bc nobody really thought about steven in the way i did.

i know a lot of people really love my steven interp and think hes unique so i think you just dislike it. Which can be a thing you can do i dont give a shit. I would also probably dislike whatever yours is! Im very picky with steven interpretations! ok not really people just dont genuinely write him as a full-fledged character very often. i am not making 'content' for people. im just sharing what i want to. if that doesnt appeal to you make your own shit! You probably wont find a lot of people writing whatever you want steven to be so you should do it for yourself bc thats how i got here.

if im taking this very personally or sound like it im mostly jsut really confused. and also bc i half-am but i dont care that much. Bc like. What do you want me to do...? Im not going to suddenly rewrite the entirety of my own personal interpretation of a character ive loved for almost 2 years straight now for someone else. i barely use this blog anymore! except when i want to post analysis or headcanons. its self-indulgent! but i still sure do think about steven deeply and intimately even if it for some reason feels like i dont. i think the autistic analyzation of the og writing should paint that im like serious about it.

anyways, there was not much of a reason to send this if youre so upset i dont write steven content the way you want ( and you probably would also have a lot of ideas i wouldnt agree with. ) Then send me 50 dollars NOW! [ if it wasnt obvious this is a joke. ]

[sirendeepity]

[ Selene one-shot ]

A/N: so this fic took me way too long to write/edit and is 100% self-indulgent. Past tenses are my worst enemy now so if things don't make sense time-wise(?) then close your eyes and look away because if I have to read this thing one more time istg I'm gonna lose it. English is so fun! Anyway, consider this also canon-defiant, as in Nesta kept her powers (as she should've). I am Selene, Selene is me, what I was thinking, she was thinking too. Also, can we all agree Selene was the best sibling? Enjoy! <3

W/C: 1.9k

T/W: --

Death was not what I’d imagined. My idea of dying has always been a cold embrace, yes, but also a release. Leaving a soft knock at my door once my skin had wrinkled and my wings had thinned and my trembling, aching bones had turned into stardust.

That desired rest after a long, fulfilling life. Little did I know.

My life had not been long and my body was not the battered rag of what it once used to be and my death couldn’t have been any less poetic, really.

I used to be bitter and resentful about everything and anything, but, well, you get used to it after being dead for centuries. Throwing tantrums is not the key to resurrection, apparently. One would think the Otherworld would be at least fun—as fun as being dead could be—but no, not even the company of other stolen souls was enough. Because there were none. Not even my mother’s. There had been, at first, when everything was new and strange and filled with sorrow. We only had each other, as we did in those last dreadful moments. We’d spent days and years and ages together, watching over what was left of our hearts, the part of us that was still alive and well. He was most of the time, at least. Well, I mean, he’s always been alive. Kind of. But as the years went by, as I watched him grow into the male and brother and High Lord he was always meant to be, my mother’s essence had grown tired of the stillness, that limbo, and had started to long for the Afterlife that was promised. Her face had turned more frequently, more easily, and her gaze had fixed on the darkness between the stars. Still, she’d stayed. Waiting, holding on to that last thread of hope.

It took five hundred years or so, but as the mating bond snapped into place, securing their souls to one another, my mother kissed me goodbye. It was out of her hands now, was all she’d said. It’s out of yours, too, she’d then added, urging me to follow.

But I couldn’t leave just yet. I didn’t want to. Because what my mother didn’t know was that I hadn’t been watching only my brother and his family—once my family as well. That had been the plan, yes, but plans change. Mind did so very quickly.

There was a very peculiar female that caught my eye. A woman.

She was a vicious, prideful thing, her spirit an inferno burning around a heart made of steel, too big and bright and hot to be tamed and kept confined inside skin and bones so… Mortal.

I was rooting for her—for Cassian, even. He had seen right through her, too—had seen that shivering, weeping, scared girl who had no idea how to give love because love had never been given to her, never felt like it was. She’d been hidden, kept under lock and key. A silver beast prowled her silver cage, keeping guard. Protecting her in the only way it knew how: Nothing was getting through.

That little girl was the reason I’d stayed. And the bickering, too.

Had Cassian always been that annoying? Or was it only for her? The female clearly knew how to hold her own, but still. Their banter was entertaining, almost comical. When it was not gutting them from the inside out, that is.

I felt so helpless when Hybern had thrown her and her sister inside the Cauldron.

What came out was not what went it, the Bone Carver would say weeks later.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta.

I felt it the moment it happened. Everyone did, even in the Place-That-Was-No-More.

That— Well, that changed everything.

And so I waited and waited, and waited. Oh, that stubborn little—

Weeks had gone by and Nesta still refused to acknowledge the immense power within her, although she did practice with Amren, which was a feat on and of its own. It still wasn’t enough to prevent the war from happening.

Once again, I found myself in the position of begging whatever bastard—sorry, god—was willing to listen, asking them to turn their gazes somewhere else, far from that battlefield. I hoped that none of my beloved would become the company I’d so desperately craved. Cassian, the idiot, had really tried his best on more than one occasion. I’d risked losing Nesta, too, so I’d helped a little, found a loophole of sorts. It only took the whisper of an idea planted in the right mind, a mind that could see past barriers and borders, and the King’s crown fell with his head. She had some backbone, the flower girl.

My joy didn’t last long. Nothing in my life seemed to—no pun intended.

It happened so fast, I barely caught it.

Our eyes had met, a mirror image of each other, and held long enough for me to shake my head. Left to right, right to left. As starlight slid down my cheeks, I could offer him no more than a faint smile as I said, “Not yet.”

And then he was gone. Taken away from me. Again.

But as much as I’d longed for his embrace, I couldn’t help myself but feel relieved. My brother lived—all of them lived when many others did not.

As the Afterworld got crowded, albeit momentarily, and the thread between the worlds stretched further and thinner each day—sometimes I could see and feel little to nothing, others I thought it might snap completely—I kept my vigil. There had been moments when I felt distant, unmaterial. Which is weird to say, considering that I am distant and unmaterial. (Dead, remember?) But as Nesta got lost in herself, I did too. Maybe that’s what my mother had felt when she’d forced herself to stay rooted in place, afraid to inhale and exhale too deeply as if she might start floating if her lungs stretched too much. Maybe that was a sign—my sign. It was time to let it go, to let it fall.

The bridge was crumbling. What had once been inside the Cauldron was now kept chained to the bottom of an icy core, not even an ember of it allowed out, and the flesh of its vessel was giving out. She was giving out—giving up.

Nesta Archeron was giving up.

Please, please, please…

They had tried a last, desperate attempt. I can’t tell how that went down—those days used to blend and blur with one another. It felt like having clouds inside my head. Would not recommend, not remotely as fun as it sounds. One moment I was in a darkened dumpster, the next in a lovely house with one too many people, and then I was going down, down, down some stairs.

My mind was crystal clear when Nesta took a wrong step and went tumbling down—ouch—and I kept it sharp and focused as she pressed her forehead against the wall and started… Pulling. I don’t think that was intentional—as anything that had to do with her power ever was—still, I reached out and pulled back, answering her call. Something had shifted then, and I found myself with a brand new asset: a House.

Safe to say, I peeked through that window as often as I could, helping Nesta get back on her feet in all the ways my brain managed to conjure. New books (her taste was immaculate), cakes and pastries (for her soul), keeping her warm but away from fires (she really did not like those), and, yes, even forcing her to talk when communication was needed. That had proven harder than I thought, especially since said communication took a wrong turn. Who knew someone could be so verbal and physical at the same time? The horny animals currently living in the House had a lot to say, apparently.

Still, Nesta was not the biggest fan of the well of power within her, but I kept trying to lead her toward the right direction—my direction, that is—leaving hints and clues any chance I got. A book here, some candles there, a crystal thrown in for good measure.

No one had ever opened a portal to the Afterworld—I could count on one hand the number of folks who dared try but had still hesitated to take that last, some might say even foolish, step. Myself included.

But Nesta Archeron was not no one. She was a very fancy, very powerful, very deadly someone.

If only she deigned to listen to me, goddammit—

I had almost managed to rope her into it, once. One foot inside the library and her gaze had snapped to the grimoire I’d left on the desk; she’d felt its presence immediately, heard that voiceless call. And had then proceeded to eye it in that wary but curious way of hers for a few moments. That was until Cassian had snatched her attention elsewhere. Nesta had very clear priorities.

So the book had stayed right where it was, and soon enough she’d sat down in front of it, resumed the interrupted staring contest, and then finally—finally!—opened it. Right to the bookmarked page. Good girl.

It didn’t take her long to read the chapter, her eyes eating up the words as they went, and soon enough she was sitting in silent contemplation. Again.

Get there faster, Archeron.

Well, at least now she knew. Small victories.

My kindness backfired, as everything in my (not)life seemed to do, because the two days of freedom I’d rewarded Nesta with had turned into two months, along with a mate—that took longer than I expected—, a miracle, and a nephew. None of this was part of the plan, for your information, but it made Nesta a lot happier. It also made me screech with jealousy. Little Nyxie should’ve been my nephew, too.

Pettiness was motivation enough for me to get back on track, and keep Nesta on a tight leash.

Day after day, I kept working my “insanely annoying for a House” magic—not my words—until, on one fated night, my patience and tyranny finally came to fruition.

Cassian was supposed to be back from Illyria for dinner, so Nesta, as the loving mate that she was, waited for him. Apparently, she also felt bored enough to take pity on my efforts and pick up the chalk, along with every trinket I’d ever given her, and took that final step. If I still had a beating heart, I’d say it was close enough to burst right out of my chest. Was this real? Was it happening?

I felt the cold breeze first. The whispers came right after, then the tingles.

Just as the sun slipped under the horizon, and the last ray of light went out; just as time stilled, stuck in a dance between day and night, I closed my eyes. The moon grinned down at the world, and so did I.

Nothing changed, nothing felt different. But I knew it was, it had to be, because—

A soft gasp reached my ear, and when I opened my eyes, Nesta was right in front of me.

I waited, too scared to move, as her eyes widened with surprise, then confusion, and then wonder. I knew the exact moment she registered the violet of my eyes, and the last piece of the puzzle snapped into place.

“Who are you?”

It sounded more demand than question, but I obliged her anyway.

“You already know who I am, Nesta Archeron.”

She swallowed, her delicate throat bobbing with the movement. “Humor me,” she breathed.

“My name is Selene, darling.”

[ntzsche9]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

thank you for the tag, @digital-chance. I love how this one forces you to look at your own work in such a positive way.

1. What motivates you to write?

Some of my characters are ANCIENT. Even when I went 5+ years without writing, they're still there, and I miss them. Daydreaming about stories and scenarios is my favorite hobby, especially during my work commute.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

From Ch 9(ish) of my Unnamed Nuka-World Fic:

From the corner of his eye, Luvell saw the Sunshine Tidings Co-op settlers jump and cheer, pumping their arms into the air. He couldn't hear them from the cataclysmic roar of the blast, but the rapture of revenge was clear on their faces. No one must be watching the settlement, with how many people were suddenly collected on the ridge. Even this far away, they could feel the sound and the heat threatening to bowl them over. He could hardly stare at the blast for more than a few seconds, and the people around him that didn't think to bring sunglasses dipped their hats and shielded their eyes. He had expected to be cheering, too, or at least relishing a deep satisfaction at finally striking back. Finally making someone pay for taking Lafayette from them. Instead, something inside him felt disquieted and out of place. This was too much. Too much like them. It wouldn't end here, it only raised the stakes. Things would get worse after this. Luvell glanced back at his parents, their faces brightly lit from the blast. Dave squinted behind his glasses, brows furrowed, still frowning. Gabe had tugged his goggles down over his eyes, and as the light made his tawny skin glow warm and golden, a toothy grin began to creep across his face. He watched the destruction with a growing smugness, a hand reaching up to squeeze Dave's shoulder. "He's gonna fuckin' haaate thiiis!" he relished happily when the world finally started to go quiet again.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

I should say my main boy Lafayette, because whew I love putting him through things, but it's his lunatic little ex-boyfriend Mateo that delights me the most. He's hot in a way that is absolutely unhelpful to everyone, lowkey a nerd about plants, loves making lil spooky crafts, and will undoubtable one day run a death cult. Every time I write him, he does something so ridiculous and over-reactive that I didn't predict and its always fun.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

When the juices are flowing, and you're almost passively watching the things happen in your head and just recording what is being said and done, and the characters are in control. Especially when they surprise you by reacting differently than you anticipated and now everyone else has to react to them.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Dialog? Maybe? Sometimes I really enjoy it, but that might just be self-indulgent.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

The little daily tokens of encouragement to keep writing, and to write for yourself.

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Post-it notes. Lmao. I don't really use anything fancy, but as I'm reading, each and every book is gonna have at least one post-it note that is covered with page numbers, words I'm unfamiliar with, phrases I love or concepts I think I can use later. I have hundreds of notes like this and its a great source of inspiration when I need it.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I write mostly fanfics, so I can't claim the world as my own too often, but when writing Salem's Child, the bit about post-apocalyptic Salem, MA being overrun with black cats came out of nowhere at me and now I'm obsessed.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Plotting, or over-plotting, is what most often bogs me up. To shake it off, I try to look back on a major plot point and change it, and write how things would go differently. Did Dave survive getting his leg eaten off by cannibals? Write about what happens if he didn't. (In my case, everyone wigged out and killed each other, and it really made me appreciate how Dave holds the whole family together lol.) When it works, it almost always fixes my slump.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

I'm still pretty new here, but no pressure to: @elean0rarose, @leebrontide, @touloserlautrec, @words-after-midnight and @ruinmegently

[glaivenoct]

12,13,14.&19, if you could please?

Thank yoouuu again for indulging me friend!! ;u; <3 (Behind The Scenes Fic Questions)

12.) Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

I don't know what this really qualifies under as a Trope per se, but I've always wanted to try writing a whumpy fic where Noct gets taken captive and experimented on. Experimented in the sense of trying to suppress his magic or tap into the power of the crystal or whathaveyou through Noctis. Something along those lines as long as it has to do with messing with Noct's magic/magic responses, forcing him into a constant stasis and then pushing him to the limits so to speak.

Listen. All I really want is an excuse for Noct to be strapped in a chair, barely coherent because everything is taking a toll on him. And I just want him to fucking snap because whatever test or method they try next is not only painful - but he's just so overwhelmed that it sets off some wild, magical self preservation instinct in Noctis.

He can't control it. He screams while his eyes ignite that violet color like when he summons one of the six. The lights above him and windows around him fucking shatter and short circuit. He busts out of his restraints like it's nothing. Anyone or anything in the near vicinity is absolutely fucked and terrified.

Basically, give me Noctis feral with power and the bros/Nyx/Cor having to talk him down and snap him out of it.

*coughs* So, um. Yeah what trope is that? ...is this a trope? What's a trope again, I need a dictionary lmao

13.) Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

Hmm.. probably unrequited love because... I mean that's just no fun to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14.) If you were stuck on a desert island with only two characters, which would you pick?

I accepted my fate and dug my grave with Nyx and Noct years ago. There's no turning back now.

Lmao that surprises no one, SO ASIDE FROM THE OBVIOUS, IF I HAD TO CHOOSE ANYONE ELSE. Hmm.. I think I'd choose Merlin from bbc Merlin because I at least have someone fun and magical (and wouldn't that be handy on a deserted island) to pass time with! Aaaand.. Agent Twilight aka Loid Forger from Spy x Family. Not only am I simping HARD for the man lately, but between him and Merlin, I'd be safe as fuck. He's fucking smart and would probably have some spy connection that ends up getting us off the island anyway. And while he wait - he can make me and Merlin foooood. He'll find a way, he always does that smooth culinary fucker. I'd trust Twilight and Merlin with my goddamn life, fuck!

15.) Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

See... given that I kinda stay in my little NyxNoct corner and don't venture much into writing outside of them - I guess it's easy to say that both of them are the easiest for me to write? At the same time it's still hard because... well, I don't know if I even write them well? Don't get me wrong, I personally enjoy the way I write them, but at the same time I sometimes wonder if, despite that, I write them in a way others would consider "in character". Sometimes I think I do, but sometimes I doubt myself too. It can be a back and forth thing at times, but at the end of the day I still manage to write things I'm proud of.

Again, OUTSIDE of those two. The hardest character for me to write is without a doubt Ignis. Why? I have no clue. Whenever I look at the bros and think about writing them it just goes like this:

Noct: Yeah cool I got this Gladio: Mmm yeah I can pull this off probably Prompto: Erm, winging it but I think it'll be okay Ignis: ????

Not to talk about Cagefighter AU again but. Listen. The aside is a Monster for many reasons. I am nervous about the aside for Many Reasons. One of those many reasons for both of these circumstances is "I hope to fucking god I can write a convincing and in-character Ignis because he's a big part of the whole damn thing. Everyone start your prayer circles for me n o w."

I think for the most part I've been able to do him justice, and in turn it's starting to help build my confidence a little with writing him. But to say it hasn't been challenging would be a lie.

As always, I am doing my best ;u;

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

For the character list ask: Renfield, Mordred?

OHH BOTH FAVORITES AT ONCE NICE

renfield

favorite thing:hes just like me hes just like me fr

least favorite thing:dead </3

favorite line:all the times he gets to be mean to seward.sooo funny of him

brOTP:i wish he got to have like.a positive relationship i could put here.uh.i think seeing him and quincey interact would have been fun

OTP:n/a i hc him as aro lol

NOTP:renfield/seward i have it filtered out bc its literally triggering for me LMAO

random headcanon:if i give him self hitting autism will i go to jail for overdosing on self indulgence hcs

unpopular opinion:id usually have one but my minds blanking out uhh none of stokers hate crime attempts w his character worked on me baby girl i am just like that too.i am fine w his portrayal in 99% of his scenes.in fact we should let him be more violent he earned that

song i associate w them:the masters song

favorite picture of them:i dont wanna risk tumblr deleting everything ive written so ill fetch the pictures later but that scene in spanish dracula where hes sitting silly after seward pulls him up the balcony.god i love rubio renfield he gets it

mordred

favorite thing:he is also just like me+i like assholes

least favorite thing:the fcking post vulgate stories that try making him into a rapist.the entirety of the post vulgate is garbage overall but oh my god they really created "use rape as empathy shock factor" huh...i saw one person bring up the possibility of writing stuff w the rapist mordred takes and wanted to punch the wall.let that shit die permanently

favorite line:ik idylls of the queen is a modern book but i love that little exchange he was w kay where kay tells him god damned him to hell and he goes "yeah ♥️"

brOTP:i love love love his relationship w agravaine treason brothers <3 personality disorder solidarity <333

OTP:sorry for being a mordred kinnie stereotype </3 but galadred.its actually them+percival but i write galahad and mor in such a mentally ill way they hate each other for half the story in my head and its fun for me to think about

NOTP:literally anything w incest GOD why is there a published book where he falls in love w his father.

random headcanon:the way i write the patrice murder story in my head has him climbing the castle walls to overhear conversations from outside the windows for investigation.he also hid under a bed at some point for that as well.weirdo

unpopular opinion:i HATE the once and future king but th white was onto something w the take hes a hyper paranoid asshole who thinks everyones out to hurt him and cries if someones slightly mean back.he literally fits the whole ppd criteria th white wants to fuck ppl w ppd so bad (also idylls of the queen did the same take but like being normal about him so no credit to white regardless lol) i simply do not think he can work as just a sad snarky emo boy.psychotic-fy his ass!

song i associate w them:debt collector

favorite picture of them:that one where he has dragon themed armor and the dragon sword.god theres no way clarent (the sword) came w the dragon wings on it he 100% had them alter it for his dad killing outfit

[pendragonthegreat]

All numbers for ya boy spader, ofc

:3 :3 :3 my boy spader

My first impression of them:

i think i have always liked him.. it's hard for me to say exactly because of the hashtag memory issues but i wouldn't be surprised if he was my fav back when i was 8 and reading for the first time .

When I think I truly started to like them:

well i reread the series when i was 13 and that's when i really developed my special interest in it . and i started liking spader a lot on that reread of the never war :) i think he's just so good in that book

A song that reminds me of them:

hmm fathoms below from the little mermaid always makes me think of that old au i had (which i still love even though i will probably never write it). spader was prince eric so i guess all the songs w eric remind me of spader. but i like this one "the salt on your skin, and the wind in your hair, and the waves as they ebb and they flow..."

How many people I ship them with:

well really it's just bobby sorry guys. i'm not really opposed to other ships but they're literally number one of all time to me

My favorite ship of them:

yeah

My least favorite ship of them:

well it's hard to say since no one else really ships him outside of bobby either

A quote of them that you remember:

"besides, nothing's gonna happen to you so long as i'm around."

Your favorite outfit of them:

that part in book3 where they go to the party for jinx. bobby talks about the fancy waiter uniforms they wear and i always though they sounded nice :)

Your least favorite outfit of them:

this isn't a real answer but his like normal outfit that bobby meets him in is just kind of boring. it's just a plain black swimskin with no sleeves which means in picrews and the sims and whatever i'm always just putting him in a black tank top (when i'm trying to be accurate to canon lol)

Describe the character in one sentence:

my little thingy

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?:

his stupid australian accent. why does he have it. i love it

Sexuality hc:

i think he is bisexual (explosions)

Your favorite friendship they have:

i can't say siry since you know they don't actually know each other in canon.... um i'd say him and gunny then :]

Best storyline they had:

he really only got the one storyline across the books but i already said i think he's really great in book3

Worst storyline they had:

i think he is honestly fantastic in every book he's in

A childhood headcanon:

shrug i'd have to think about general headcanons for growing up on cloral first

How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc):

probably the same as always.. getting into trouble but everyone likes him anyway

The most random ship you've seen people have with them:

i honestly don't think i've seen any besides bobby and courtney

A weird headcanon:

um (he's about to drop the most self indulgent headcanon you've ever heard) his digimon partner is gomamon :3

When do you think they were at their happiest?:

before he knew he was a traveler LOL (cries)

When do you think they were at their lowest?:

when bobby broke up with him i mean sent him home

Future headcanon:

in like, an au where he got to exist after the war, i imagine he'd be very involved with the effort to rebuild cloral after ravinia

What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?:

honestly he's pretty much an open book. the only thing he really keeps secret is being a traveler

When do you think they acted the most ooc:

honestly i don't think he was even in before the war

When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?:

i don't really get this question but i guess in book10 after he's spent all that time on eelong and he's sort of grown into himself

If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?:

ohhh i don't know. maybe tucker from sylo since they both have revenge issues

The most unnecessary thing they ever did?:

hmm i don't have an answer for this one

How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?):

i've never really thought about it before.. i think he'd really love his kid(s) and like just being friends with them

The funniest scene they had?:

i can't choose here's some funny moments off the top of my head:

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

SEL…… T__T the way i would literally die for you. i really wanna take the time to thank u properly so this might get long shjdihisu i dont wanna clog up ur inbox so!!! ill just write it here. hopefully u can see it and tumblr doesnt eat up your notifs too :’3 im so sorry u had to write all of this TWICE thats awful, tysm for taking the time…… :’’3

FIRST OF ALL i love you…… im picking u up and spinning u around. youre so sweet!!!!! i cant wait to return the favor once i get the time to binge col hehe >:3 but honestlyyy thank you!! i was sobbing while reading all you wrote aaa ur too kind!! <333

it was so fun seeing all the lines you liked!!! im so happy u thought ”decisive slice of heaven” was pretty🥺🥺u said so many sweet things abt my writing…. tysm <3 😭😭 ur so attentive to how people write, its honestly so admirable!!! <33 i was reading all ur comments like this

im also so relieved you enjoyed my take on gojo’s death bc like…. it hurt me so bad to write but i dont think it felt very awful for gojo at all????? he just looks so at PEACE in that one panel that im like… okay. im fine. totally not falling to my knees thinking abt how he looks more at peace dying than we’ve ever seen him….……… 🥲🥲 i really wanted to show that feeling of resignation/peace/relief(?) that i think he prolly felt, along with the not-exactly-fear-but-similar that even he cant avoid feeling. so its such a relief that it came across well !!

im so honoured you think the character writing is accurate too…. u have no idea how happy that makes me!!!!!!!!! fr!! i love being delusional n self-indulgent in the way i write characters, but w/ this specific fic i really wanted to capture at least a lil bit of canon gojo and geto so!!!! im just so happy that you thought it felt real !! <33

and sel🥺🥺🥺🥺everything u wrote for the stsg dialogue….🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺u almost made me cry spdnhxhdjd thank u!! sm??!!!! im genuinely sooo ecstatic that it resonated with u <333 im a stsg enjoyer at heart so i really wanted to do them justice, their interactions in 236 absolutely RUINED me sel… its so insane to me how genuine gojo feels whenever he talks to suguru yknow?? like thats his BESTIE and i feel like he’s also the only person gojo feels comfy being weak around…. theyre so special to me sob!!! im so insanely happy that you enjoyed their interactions :’))

and i agree with u sm!!! i think the question of gojo’s wants & happiness is so INTERESTING to explore n ultimately i always end up with just. him wanting a slice of normalcy. just little things like buying ice cream with his friends in high school, taking his students to the movies, going to a bar with shoko and nanami... etc etc. i just feel like those tiny moments are what gojo treasures most in the world

my heart aches sososo much at the airport scene because it really feels like he’s envisioning a dreamlike scenario where he gets all that he wants, and thats…. just his youth back. just being able to laugh with his best friend again. and its such a small wish but that makes it so heartbreaking to me sel :’3 he wants so LITTLE and he cant have it bc his entire existence just encompasses so much…

aaa im so happy that you mentioned the whole god/human thing too!! gojo as a character is so fascinating to me bc he just boils down to this idea of like…. what if we took a random boy and made him into a god? what if we gave him so much strenght that he’ll never quite be seen as human by the world? will that boy be able to live and still love others, even though they’ll never reach him? and i think akutami’s way of writing that is SO good. it also ties into how similar he is to figures like the buddha, or generally just mythological heroes and stuff. he’s so tragic and good, and also undeniably human, and that’s like… his one great weakness. which is heartbreaking!!

aaa and it means sm coming from u too!!! ur gojo feels so so human and real to me, it was the first thing i thought when i read ur fics!! like you really capture his more vulnerable subconscious and that part of him thats soo human even though he might try to hide it and its just. heart wrenching to me 😭😭 he feels so genuine to me

AND SEL….. ur so so RIGHT about gojo. like you get him so well. it makes me wanna ramble so bad bc everything you said is just so TRUE. the way everyone needs him, the world needs him, and he CHOOSES to bear that weight even though he could just throw it away… he could easily run away and let everything go to hell but he doesnt, and thats so……… idk. it makes me insane. it just really shows his kindness n humanity, he isnt a saint or anything but he just… deals with sm and never complains T__T

AND HONESTLY THE WHOLE BINDING VOW THING….. ive been hoping for it to happen ever since the shinjuku fight started LMAO, i just think itd be the perfect end to gojo’s character arc!!! forcing him to live without that gift, and letting us see for ourselves if he still remains the same… and IF it really does happen (i still have hope lmaoo) i think we’re going to see that he will!! he may not be the strongest but nothing will change, he’ll still be our gojo :’3 

aaa overall i just wanna say tysm for writing this all out sel…. T__T twice at that!!! youre honestly so sweet im just. exploding rn LMAOO thank you for all ur kind words abt my writing n everything!!! it means sm!!! and thank u for taking the time to read it in the first place <33

oh my destiny, how far you have sprung now ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru gojo chooses north.

word count; 5.2k

contents; satoru gojo, canon divergence, HEAVY jjk spoilers (for chapter 236!! but also kinda 237), fix-it fic, me coping w/ the manga for 5k words straight, canon-typical violence and death, implied stsg, probably non-canon compliant use of binding vows (but do i care? no), gojo satoru lives.

a/n; yeaaa this is literally just me coping <3 needed to write this for my mental health. he’s fine guys trust me

the experience is not altogether unfamiliar, on its own.

he’s felt it before. even now, he can still vividly recall it; a girl he failed to protect, a boy he failed to save. a man with a scar on his bottom lip.

that sickening numbness, as he lied in a pool of his own blood. sticking to his hair and tattered clothes, the colour red flooding his subconscious. that cold, cold sensation — a jarring shift, chilling and ruthless, going from everything to nothing. tiptoeing the line between life and death. 

emptiness. sinking deeper into the abyss, that all-enveloping darkness. that awful feeling of pure helplessness.

he could never forget it.

back then, though, gojo is certain he didn’t feel this way. all he could think about twelve years ago was survival — clinging to the weak flutter of his heart, a dying butterfly. clawing his way up to the skies. anything to escape that harrowing sensation, a kind of desperation all humans feel in the face of certain death, spurring him on. but now —

he almost welcomes it. nearly content in its approach. it should frighten him, but it doesn’t.

through half-lidded eyes, vision blurred by sweat and blood and dust, gojo watches the sky.

it's beautiful, he thinks. as beautiful as ever. peaceful, unchanging, soothing in an eerie kind of way. that clear blue, fading a little at the corners as his muddled mind grows just a little darker, a little more fatigued. he can barely gather the strength to keep his eyelids open. 

yet he keeps his gaze on that endless sky, as if it’s all he’s ever known.

with every passing second, the world grows just a little more blurry. pale dots spread around the corners of his vision, like grains of stardust in an ever-expanding cosmos, clouding his senses. there’s a buzzing in his head that won’t go away. everything looks as if it's spinning, and he can barely tell left from right, north from south. everything is growing darker, so fast that it’s alarming, and gojo can’t seem to even think clearly.

but he can still see that blue, blue sky. bluer than he ever remembers it being. even as snow begins to fall, descending upon shinjuku as if bidding him farewell. the sky takes on a gray hue, but that shade of blue is still all gojo can see, as he takes shallow breaths and half-heartedly attempts to remain conscious. willing himself not to give in just yet, choking on his own blood. 

and it's an odd feeling, really. one he never thought he'd meet again, but here it is, it's back — and it's all-consuming. beckoning him into a place he’s never been before. the unknown. 

it's not scary. gojo doesn’t think he has it in him to feel fear, anymore. but it's a strange sensation, as death kisses its way up his neck, sending shivers down his spine; as the numbness spreads, devouring him whole.

it’s unknown. thoroughly and wholly. and that unknown is overwhelming, all-encompassing, it’s all he can see before him, it's —

ah.

gojo takes a deep breath. the air burns his lungs.

everything's ending, isn't it?

it would be so easy. to simply close his eyes, let them flutter shut as that all-encompassing sensation takes him down to earth. to allow himself to simply rest, for a moment. wouldn’t that be nice?

it would be so easy.

gojo watches the sky. it's all he can do. 

the numbness keeps spreading throughout every cell of his body. he can barely feel the blood trickling down his chin, or the harsh bite of the winter cold, his skin buzzing with ache. he can't feel his arms or his legs, and he knows exactly why. everything in the world is closing in on him and god, he just feels so fucking tired.

ah. ah. more darkness. more numbness.

everything and nothing, all at once. slipping away into oblivion. the snow keeps falling but he can't see anything, can't hear anything, can't feel anything, anything at all.

nothing. nothing. less than nothing.

— and then, suddenly, an airport.

"yo."

gojo blinks.

a boy. a boy with black hair, tied into a small bun. a dead boy. his best friend.

suguru stands before him, and he looks exactly the same as gojo remembers. young, bright, with those awkward bangs still hanging over his face. grinning boyishly, and greeting him with youthful cheer. 

gojo feels young, too, he realizes — the weight on his shoulders a little less heavy, the familiar black of his sunglasses obscuring his vision. but he can still see the flicker of suguru’s cursed energy clear as day. as if he never left.

feigning a mild displeasure, gojo makes a face. he hears himself speak, but his mind and six eyes continue to spin in circles, trying to comprehend the sight in front of him. trying to make it understandable, figure out what’s going on. 

but he doesn’t succeed. because it’s impossible to understand. and, really, that’s answer enough. 

huh.

so this is what the afterlife is like?

he inhales through his nose, basking in the clear air, and it doesn’t burn his lungs. his chest feels lighter than it’s been in years.

that seems a little too good to be true. 

"you’re kidding me. this sucks.”

suguru makes a kind of face like he’s pouting, plopping down in the seat right next to gojo’s. the white haired boy stretches his limbs out and huffs, pretending the sight in front of him doesn't send a tremor running through his very soul.

suguru continues to speak and gojo continues to listen, all while observing the scenery in front of him.

the airport looks familiar. through the glass windows he can see a glimmer of the blue sky, and a plane waiting to take flight into the clouds. the air smells of summer and jet fuel and new beginnings. it’s pleasantly cool, a light breeze caressing his skin and coaxing a hum from the confines of his throat. 

(he remembers this airport. remembers having his arms full of vending machine snacks, trailing after suguru as he dealt with all the annoying technicalities. amanai was there, too, watching a plane soar up into the sky with childlike wonder. a little anxious, as she boarded the plane to okinawa, and then back to tokyo.

her first and last flight.)

suguru is there, right next to him, and he’s speaking. breathing. like something out of a dream, the kind that always haunts gojo in his sleep.

he breathes in, and then out. 

suguru is there. and not just him – nanami and haibara are, too. all young, all dead. all somehow breathing; he sees them inhale and he sees them exhale. he hears them speak and it’s like nothing ever changed. 

they speak of regrets, of south and of north. nanami doesn’t seem to regret a single thing, and gojo is glad. even yaga is there, he notices belatedly. even amanai, and her maid, and a certain man with a scar on his bottom lip. everyone all together again.

the airport buzzes with warmth. nostalgia, as suguru’s laughter rings in his ears. and gojo grins, in tandem, bright and childlike. wallowing in the tender atmosphere. 

the sight in front of his eyes is perfect, he thinks. absolutely perfect. a glimmer of spring, one he never quite managed to forget. a vibrant flicker of blue, one he thought he’d lost forever.

his one and only blue spring of youth, right in front of his all-seeing eyes.

a little too good to be true.

with a sigh, gojo stretches idly, smiling a little to himself. his joints don’t ache, his head isn’t buzzing with fatigue, and his heart feels lighter than it's been in recent memory. 

“now i’m hoping this isn’t a dream,” he hears himself mutter, allowing his eyes to flutter shut at last. he can still see suguru’s cursed energy, and everyone else’s. he isn’t alone. what a nice thought. 

and it’s strange, gojo thinks. it really is. he’s dead. sukuna killed him. he’s dead, his remains are lying somewhere in the streets of shinjuku, and that should bother him. he should be punching the floor and screaming, cursing sukuna’s name with every fiber of his being — it should frighten him, the realization that everything has ended.

but it doesn’t. 

gojo isn’t afraid. and he isn’t upset, either. he bears no grudge against anyone, just like that day twelve years ago.

he’s with suguru, now, and his juniors. his old teacher. the people he cares for are with him, and the airport smells so nice. everyone is young, and happy, and none of them will ever have to kill or be killed again. 

calling it anything less than heaven would be doing it a disservice. 

gojo smiles, exhaling a relieved breath. one he hadn’t realized he’d been holding til now, stuck in the back of his throat for the past decade. a tiny thought makes it to the forefront of his brain, like a spring breeze flitting in through an open window.

like this, he thinks, i could die with no regrets.

“— except that’s not true.” a voice proclaims. “is it?”

gojo opens his eyes.

suguru looks at him. everything goes silent. everyone else has already gone blurry, a little faded, as if they aren’t what’s really important. as if the entire world has narrowed down to just this; him, and suguru, in the corner of an airport too precious for words. that one decisive slice of heaven. 

suguru opens his mouth, and speaks, and his voice has a finality to it that fills gojo with a mellow kind of dread. 

they look into each other’s eyes, and both know what’s coming.

“the students are outclassed.” suguru rests his chin on the heel of his palm. ”you said it yourself — sukuna wasn’t giving it his all when he fought you. he still has more than a couple cards up his sleeve, doesn’t he? like his incarnation.”

gojo listens to suguru speak, not saying a word.

“they’re no match for him,” he continues, unperturbed. “all of them are going to die. every single one.”

suguru leans back in his chair, still looking straight into gojo’s eyes. seeing through him, gaze filled with a certain sharpness. a little cruel, but there’s a kindness there, too. as if he’s simply ripping the band-aid off, trying to make it as painless as possible. 

he clicks his tongue.

“and you still haven’t buried my body, either.”

a moment passes. then two.

gojo smiles to himself, rueful. a little saddened. 

“.. damn,” he grins, weakly. leaning back in his chair, slumping against the soft leather. “couldn’t you have kept indulging me for just a bit longer?”

suguru smiles. a soft thing, in the flicker of the light. a little too good to be true. “sorry,” he chimes. “but the plane is leaving soon.”

as if on cue, the pa system sounds.

flight to okinawa; departing in nineteen minutes.

“it hasn’t left, yet,” suguru hums, and it sounds like an inevitability. ringing in gojo’s ears. “you know what that means, don’t you?”

he does. he does, but it still hurts. gojo looks into suguru’s eyes, and sees himself reflected in them — young, transparent. blue. fading, but not quite faded. not quite dead.

and maybe it’s to be expected. maybe he was just trying to delude himself into believing the alternative, into believing that an afterlife as sweet as this could really be waiting for him. maybe it was naive, a childish fantasy. 

but still —

”haah.” a heavy exhale, fatigued. gojo slumps even further into his seat, squeezing his eyes shut. running a hand through the soft strands of his hair. ”oh, gimme a break. and here i thought i could finally relax for once.”

a chuckle flows from suguru’s lips, amused. ”you aren’t the type to go down like that,” he murmurs. ”c’mon, satoru. there are still things you need to do.”

”how?” gojo scoffs. ”i’m split in half. and i’m too exhausted to use my reverse cursed technique.”

”eh,” suguru shrugs. ”you’ll manage.”

gojo shoots him a dubious look. ”you’re acting like it’s a papercut,” he huffs, crossing his arms. ”my guts are on the fuckin’ pavement.”

”oh, quit your complaining already," suguru rolls his eyes, and shoots him an accusatory glance. "i died with a hole through my chest. at least your heart is still intact.”

the white haired boy gapes at him, offended. ”i wanted to make it painless for you!”

”well, it hurt like a bitch. so thanks for that.”

gojo pouts, fighting back a smile. he thinks suguru must be doing the same. and it’s juvenile, a little twisted — but then again, weren’t they always?

suguru cocks his head. beckoning gojo into taking action. ”you’ve still got some fight left in you,” he says, and there’s a fondness to it. ”you always do.”

”get up, satoru.”

silence. unbroken, unperturbed. if he focuses enough, he thinks he can hear the distant buzzing of cicadas, the crinkling of soda cans. the whistling of the wind. placebos; memories ghosting his subconscious. 

it’s quiet, for a while. gojo stares into space, blinking slowly. then he parts his lips.

”suguru.”

the boy in question turns towards him. but gojo looks up, instead — eyes set on the roof, like he’s trying to see beyond it. into the comfort of the blue sky. 

suguru hums, a cue for him to follow. and gojo closes his eyes.

”i think… i might be tired.”

silence. no one says a thing.

”i think i’d prefer to stay here,” he admits, a forlorn look in his eyes. tapping his fingers on his knee. ”in the past, like this.”

the scent of jet fuel and summer lies heavy in the air. gojo inhales it, greedy. as if savouring it. trying to make it a part of his being, filling his lungs with sweet nostalgia so it never goes away.

”we could just stay here. together,” he muses, barely above a whisper. there’s a kind of longing to the tilt of his voice, something soft. ”couldn’t we? never moving forward, or back.”

the words taste salty, on his tongue. an ocean breeze. a whisper. ”we could just stay like this.”

suguru’s gaze trails from satoru, down to his lap. his bangs follow the slow movement, silky strands falling over his eye. the chuckle that drifts from his lips doesn’t have much humour to it. 

”haha… you’ve never been the type to stay in one place for too long, satoru.”

gojo clenches his fist.

”you want me to go back,” he hears himself say, somewhat bitter. ”you want me to go back, and then what? there’s nothing i can do. i’m not the strongest, anymore.”

”you are.” suguru’s voice is firm, decisive. ”you can still win. you know exactly what you need to do. there’s only one way to get out of this.”

gojo sighs. one hand in his hair, tousling it. mildly frustrated. ”… it’s risky.”

”you’re bleeding out.”

”if i do this — i won’t ever be the same.” gojo turns to look at suguru. ”i sure as hell won’t be the strongest, anymore.”

”and would that be such a bad thing?”

silence. the two boys look at each other — one dead and one half-alive, both connected to the other. for eternity. suguru’s eyes are full of understanding, as they look into the blue of satoru’s. 

”there’s always been a gap between you and everyone else. that’s what you said, before. aren’t you tired of it?”

gojo closes his eyes.

that’s right. that aching gap. the solitude that comes with absolute strength — a weight he’s borne all his life. doomed never to connect with others, never to be understood. doomed to always live in the sky, far away from the earth and the ocean.

the title of the strongest. a cross he alone had to bear.

(did he ever really want it? or was he just resigned to it, conditioned from the very beginning?)

the feeling of isolation that’s been haunting him for decades seeps into his skin. the cruel knowledge that no one will ever truly know him; even worse, the knowledge that it’s all for the best. you can admire a flower, and help it bloom, but you can’t ask it to understand you.

such a cruel curse to be born with.

suguru’s voice fills his mind. the flicker of his cursed energy is gentle, like an ocean wave rolling in right before the sun sets. ”you said it yourself, satoru.” gojo can hear the smile in his voice. ”you love everyone.”

love. it always comes down to that, doesn't it? the greatest curse of them all.

(but he could never bring himself to fully throw it away.)

”there are still people waiting for you, out there,” suguru reminds him. and gojo knows that he’s right.

he still hasn’t buried suguru’s body. that thing is still inside his head, doing god knows what. and his students — they must be fighting sukuna, right now. if he’s lucky, no one’s dead yet. if he’s lucky. then there’s shoko, of course. and ijichi, everyone else from the school.

not just that — the world itself is waiting on him. waiting for him to pass on, so it can crumble away. waiting for him to make it, so he can stitch it back together. 

dying isn’t a luxury satoru gojo can afford. he knows that, he does, but —

dammit.

”suguru,” he starts, hesitant. voice more feeble than he ever remembers it sounding. ”what… should i do, from here on out?” a pause. uncertain. ”where should i go?”

suguru raises a single eyebrow, tilting his head. ”do you really need me to tell you that?” he asks, a little teasing. gojo’s reply is instantaneous.

”i do.”

the airport falls silent, again. 

”i’ll listen to you,” he elaborates, tapping the edge of his chair, absentmindedly. eyes shining with a glimmer of something tender. ”so… it has to be you.”

suguru inhales, softly. breathing out in a meek chuckle, with a soft shake of his head. ”well, in that case…”

a smile. he meets gojo’s gaze. ”then i think you should go north.”

gojo looks into his eyes. a moment passes, slow, detached from space and time. their eyes meet, and in suguru’s eyes, gojo sees a reflection of their youth.

what a shame.

”alrighty, then.”

placing his palms on his knees, gojo gets up from his seat. stretching his arms with a soft groan. a sigh flows from his lips, drifting out into the clear air. 

”so much for finally getting a vacation,” he huffs, frowning as he casts a jealous glance at his best friend. ”you dead people have it easy, you know that?”

suguru’s still smiling, but he’s not getting up from his seat. the pa system sounds, again. a little louder this time.

flight to okinawa; departing in six minutes.

a deep breath. air flows into his lungs, and then back out; soaking up the summer air he knows he’ll never quite get a taste of again.

suguru stays right where he is. young, dead. smiling. the same smile he wore when gojo killed him, framed by the setting sun. the same kind of sunset that’s beginning to form outside the translucent windows of the airport, nostalgic and sweet, dyeing the clouds in a soft pinkish hue.

it’s breathtaking. 

”will i see you?” gojo asks, before he can stop himself. eyes still stuck to the setting sun. ”when everything ends.”

…

suguru chuckles, again. rueful. gojo thinks it sounds just a bit meek, a little like he’s holding back tears. ”maybe,” he breathes, shrugging halfheartedly. not meeting his eyes. ”who knows?”

it’s not the answer gojo wants to hear. but he’ll take what he can get.

and finally, suguru gets up. slowly, methodically. elegant, in the way he moves, the way he brushes non-existent dust off his baggy pants. smiling, hair swaying softly with the breeze. gojo finds his gaze, and that smile shifts into a lazy grin. one so distinctly suguru that it can’t possibly be just a figment of his imagination. 

”don’t find out too soon,” he quips, teasingly. ”alright?”

a slap. gojo doesn’t see it coming, and it knocks him forward — he stumbles slightly, lanky legs moving clumsily, sunglasses falling off at the impact. his back stings, a little. 

over his shoulder, he looks back at suguru. the boy has a hand raised, and his grin is playful, brimming with warmth. except he’s no longer a boy — now he’s wearing traditional robes, hair much longer, face a little more hardened. but that grin is still the same as ever. gojo thinks he looks almost proud.

”go get ’em, satoru.”

gojo blinks.

the grin that breaks out across his lips, then, is wide. bright, brimming with youth, lighting up every corner of his face. almost overwhelmingly sweet. it envelops his very being, as he stands there, clad in his black compression shirt and baggy pants. hair a little less messy than it was in high school, face a little more hardened — but he hopes his grin, at least, looks the same as ever.

he turns his back on suguru, and puffs out his chest. trying to hide the sappy smile still lingering on his lips, the glassiness of his eyes. his voice comes out loud, cheery, echoing throughout the airport — but still somehow so tender.

”roger that!”

gojo looks ahead. the airport is blurred, a little hazy, but a bright light shines farther up ahead. a beacon for him to follow, one that blinds him if he looks at it for too long. blue, white, golden — the colours of the sky. beckoning him forward, to a familiar place.

he takes one step north.

”ah, satoru. one more thing.”

the sound of suguru’s voice stops him in his tracks. ”hm?” gojo turns on his heel, white hair tousled by the soft breeze. a little confused. ”what is it now?”

suguru grins. the whole airport smells like spring. 

”—, — —.”

…

one long, tender moment passes by. gojo doesn’t even breathe, mouth falling open slightly, in a way that must look comical to the man in front of him.

the airport glimmers like a marble in the sun. transparent, blurred, but still somehow so real. suguru’s words echo in his mind. 

then gojo laughs, the sound bubbling up from his throat like seafoam on a scorching summer day. hearty and deep, coaxed out from the very bottom of his gut — genuine. a little breathless. he can’t wipe away the grin on his face, wouldn’t do it even if he could. his blue eyes crinkle, as he looks at suguru, showing off his dimples and teeth.

”so corny,” he teases. suguru rolls his eyes.

”hey, don’t blame me. this is your imagination.”

a huff slips from his lips. ”yeah, yeah…” gojo waves him off. then he meets his eyes, again, still grinning boyishly. ”i’ll hold you to that, okay?”

”got it,” suguru chirps. ”good luck out there, satoru.”

”pssh. who do you think you’re talking to?”

the men exchange smiles, one final time. funny, how that’s always how their story ends; with a heartfelt smile. even if it’s coated in blood, or nothing more than a figment of their imagination.

then gojo turns around, again, and takes a step forward. not looking back this time. trusting suguru to still be there, watching over him. like always.

the bright light at the end of the airport glimmers, tantalizing, mesmerizing. suguru is right — there’s only one way to get out of this. only one way to make it back alive.

and it’s risky. very much so. it’s a gamble, the greatest one gojo’s ever made, even worse than that time twelve years ago with the reverse cursed technique. 

it’s a gamble, all or nothing.

binding vows are dangerous, fickle things. built on equivalent exchange. give something and get something, of equal value. sacrifice and gain. 

gojo’s thought about it, before. a morbid curiosity.

what could he possibly gain by offering the greatest treasure of the jujutsu world? 

he lifts one hand up, to caress his face. lingering over the skin of his eyelids, now closed. but he can still see the cursed energy around him. burned into his retinas. 

the six eyes. the blessing of sight.

a blessing. a blessing he never once asked for, one he was simply born with. born with all this power, doomed to live above the rest. all for a pair of eyes that never seem to see the things that really matter.

and, really, it’s a gamble.

gojo takes a deep breath, and then one large step forward.

(buddha left the royal life behind him at 29 years of age, he recalls. and then he sought out enlightenment.)

the light comes closer, and closer. lotus flowers bless his path. he takes seven steps forward, and his path blooms out before him; one flower blooming by his feet for every step he takes. seven steps north.

i’ll give you everything, he speaks to the someone watching the world. a god, a natural order, himself — it doesn’t really matter. i’ll give you all six. 

in exchange — 

the light is close, now. so close he can almost touch it. it burns his skin, but he doesn’t falter. he doesn’t look away, eyes seeing through the blindness and reaching out for something. something alive.

don’t let me die, he bargains. give me enough of it to kill him.

i still have things i need to do.

one more step, out of the airport —

(and satoru gojo makes a sacrifice.)

a binding vow is made.

the six eyes dissipate, like vapour drifting off into the darkness of a never-ending cosmos.

when gojo opens his eyes, he’s met with a cold, gray sky. 

the world shifts on its axis before him.

everything looks different. he can’t see, but he can, it’s just not the same as before. it’s naked, and raw, and surface-level. not enough to sink his teeth into.

he can still see cursed energy, feel the flicker of it all around him, but it’s hazy. it’s not clear enough, not enough for him to get a good grasp on — like the world lost its saturation. like everything got tilted slightly to the left. an eerie feeling that something isn’t as it should be.

and wow, okay. this is new.

but gojo parts his lips, weakly, and breathes in — and the air tastes the same as ever. cold, crispy. it fills his lungs and he exhales it through his nose. a human act. a breath of life.

i’m still alive.

it’s an odd feeling, like someone took a heavy weight off his shoulders. like someone stripped him of everything that makes him him. an strange sensation, heavy, entirely impossible to ignore. however —

the gain after the loss hits him almost immediately, embracing him with a burst of cursed energy so violently overwhelming that his sight becomes entirely irrelevant. it devours his very being.

everything becomes a blur. 

— i’ll give you everything. 

so, in exchange…

give me enough cursed energy to go on a good rampage.

the cursed energy within him spikes, so sudden and violent that gojo fears his skin might break open. buzzing like flies inside his veins, a vibrant burst of life, every colour in the universe. all the power one can expect from willingly casting away the greatest jewel of the jujutsu world.

gojo moves his fingers. he can feel them, finally — all limbs intact. positive cursed energy flows from his brain, no longer exhausted beyond comprehension. enough, more than enough to give him access to every possibility within his soul.

belatedly, he realizes that his sight isn’t the only thing that’s been weakened. the control he’s grown so used to having over his cursed energy is dwindling, and fast; that firm grip seems to have left with the six eyes, replaced by a set of shaky hands. gojo has experience, and for now, it’s enough. but he still has to concentrate to contain the nearly overwhelming flicker of his cursed energy, stinging his skin as if it can’t fully be contained by his body anymore. prickling his veins. it feels a little like trying to keep water from running through the gaps between your fingers. 

and he feels naked, in a way, suddenly living without something that defines his very being. a little hollowed out. a little wrong, like someone reached a hand through his ribs and pulled out his heart. 

but damn, does it feel good.

his cursed energy output is all-encompassing. his mind feels more clear than he ever remembers it being, and it’s like the world is at his fingertips. something similar to what he felt twelve years ago, but still so different. 

it isn’t ascension, not even close. quite the opposite. but that feeling of freedom is still so abundant. it’s all he can see before him; endless possibilities. 

twelve years ago, satoru gojo faced a certain man, and rose to the skies. he will never, ever forget it. that flicker of eternal solitude, the burst of overwhelming euphoria. that sense of everything being just right.

twelve years of living in the sky, and now his feet meet the ground, at last.

everything feels different. everything looks different. things won’t be the same, ever again — but maybe, suguru was right. maybe that’s not such an awful thing.

to be reborn. to be given a choice.

gojo opens his eyes, and finally takes in all the sights before him. everything happens in a blur, so fast he can barely catch up — his body acts before his mind, and suddenly he’s face to face with sukuna.

not megumi, but sukuna. fully incarnated.

and he looks displeased. almost frustrated.

”how?” 

the look of pure shock on his face is more satisfying than gojo could ever put into words; the satisfaction of seeing a king fall to his knees.

somewhere in the background, he thinks he hears a cacophony of voices, awfully familiar in a way that has warmth blooming in his chest. the students, he assumes — voices of shock, and something he tentatively recognizes as relief. but he doesn’t have the time to let his guard down, just yet.

(no matter how much he’d like to look back at them and give them a self-assured peace sign, bask in their smiling faces.)

instead, he answers sukuna. ”a binding vow,” he grins, and he thinks he must look a little manic, gesturing towards his eyes with his thumb. ”gave these puppies away. didn’t expect that, did’ya?”

sukuna looks at him, for a second.

then he laughs, loud and ugly, grotesque. taunting. he looks at gojo with something that almost resembles pity, something bordering on disappointment.

”pathetic,” he spits, all teeth. ”what good is living if it’s not at the top?”

gojo simply smiles.

he recalls that one question. eleven years ago, somewhere close to the ruins of the very street he’s standing in now. the question that flipped his entire world upside down.

(are you the strongest because you’re satoru gojo? or are you satoru gojo because you’re the strongest?)

a grin breaks out across his lips. his cursed energy pulsates inside his veins, eager to be let loose, and he takes on a fighting stance. parting his lips to speak, unsure of whose question he’s answering.

”well, we’re about to find out.”

the sky is gray. even so, all he can see is that familiar shade of blue, as clear as ever. even without the six eyes.

gojo smiles. 

just keep watching, suguru. 

this time, i definitely won’t lose.

[shoyoist]

Hi rekhaaa! I was wondering on what are the Tokyo revengers boys' quirks r gonna be if they're in mha!! Any thoughts??

𝐓𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒' 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀

been a long time since i got over my bnha phase but this shows that i'd enjoy giving tr characters quirks and writing spin offs for them LMAO — not proofread, but i had a lot of fun thinking of these <3 (i did say my inbox is closed for reqs) but if you sent me individual characters that i havent done, i'll answer w/ quirks for them too!! short hcs are fun hehe

ぞ | hmmm, TAKEMICHI would have the ability to see glimpses of the near future. if he were the protag of bnha, his story would be that he wasted the potential of his extremely useful quirk by choosing to live a plain, ordinary life without aspiring to become a hero. then something absolutely terrible happens, but he gets the opportunity to turn things around for himself and for everyone else, if he goes back in time and claims the rank of top hero and saves the world. op music starts playing and takemichi starts his hero's journey ☆☆☆

ぞ | MIKEY would have the ability to put people to sleep. not just sleep, actually, his quirk enables him to turn people's systems off and render them comatose. if we're talking side effects, he's just sleepy ♡♡ and falls asleep real quick when he gets tired. he's quiet, a little shady but also very sweet, and whether as a hero or a villain, he'd be super powerful and useful <33

ぞ | i'll do DRAKEN a favour and let him have his motorcycle body. he's a cyborg. like genos from one punch man !! he has to get his prosthetic limbs removed and maintained regularly, and needs oil changes LMAO. imagine being the mechanic that takes care of him though <33 or the scientist that creates new body parts and weapons for him.

ぞ | BAJI is like Four Arms from Ben 10 SKHFHKH, he's big and muscley and has four arms. the perfect person to turn to, when you need a good sukuna cosplay. by the time he graduates hero school, he stands at 6'10" ♡♡ and so popular with everyone. holds fan events and meets, is super fun and friendly, good with kids — and he never turns down those calls asking for help bec a cat got stuck in a tree and needs saving LMAO

ぞ | ok ok KAZUTORA would have blood iron manipulation. realistically, your blood doesnt have THAT much iron so this is leaning towards the fictional side — but yeah, he can control your blood (maybe the flow of it out of your body, after a slash?) via the iron in your blood cells. he would be a hero turned villain <33

ぞ | MITSUYA definitely works in the rescue division. he has restoration abilities. i'm not calling it regeneration because it doesnt work on living creatures or people. it works on non living formations and structures, like stone and all. he's one of the front liners of the rescue teams. they locate people trapped under fallen buildings and such, and then mitsuya carefully restores walls and pillars, fixes cracks in the ground, and creates a safe path to reach the people from. he's also really pretty, a good leader, and skilled at providing guidance and reassurance, so everyone has a lil crush on him <33

ぞ | PAH-CHIN would have super strength. he's a lil like sakura from naruto (are there other sakuras? bec i dont know lol) and he would work in rescue, too, but in the opposite way that mitsuya does, i guess. he breaks down obstructing structures like walls and rubble, and paves way towards the people in need of saving.

ok that's takemichi + the toman ot6 but let me think of some more.

ぞ | of course KISAKI has an intelligence quirk. his ability allows him to make foolproof, precise plans that lead him straight to his goal— the catch being that they're only arranged according to his heart's desire. every step of his vision has to be followed out thoroughly to completion, to reach the end goal. however, some steps are incredibly self indulgent (step four: kill takemichi. LMAO) therefore, he's a loner at work, and more of an anti hero type. he does what he wants, how he wants, by himself. unless he met someone that was fine with doing things all his way <3

ぞ | HANMA can speak to the dead. if you come to him with enough grief and longing in your heart, for someone that's dead, he can summon their soul by channeling the power of your longing, and bring their spirit back to the edge of life for a short period of time. he would be a villain with a tragic backstory that's only revealed much later — and he works as the recruiter for his organization, by scouting people with useful quirks that have lost loved ones. "hey kid, if you do this for me and my boss, i'll let you see your sister one last time." that typa beat.

ぞ | i feel like SANZU would have some sort of energy absorption quirk. he absorbs fear. growing up, he was timid and more afraid of others than others were afraid of him, so his quirk was kept in check. however, once he joined the villains' side, he became ruthless — his gruesome murders, skilled escapes and endless number of successful heists make him his organization's beloved poster boy (which honestly only helps people to recognize and therefore fear him even more u_u).

ぞ | SENJU has a camouflage quirk. she's able to change her body to match the colours of whatever she places both her hands against — and therefore, she's part of almost every stealth mission the heroes carry out. she's leader of her division, and gets invited to a lot of workshops and expos — she's got a million fans, and the bnha universe twitter is full of senju stan accounts i just know it !!

ぞ | KOKONOI has charmspeak. it fits him really well — he's an excellent talker, silver tongued to begin with, so when he applies his quirk and slides in, he's able to coax information out of anyone he wants, and get his way no matter what the circumstances. he would've considered being a hero as a kid, but then he gets strung into a villain organization, where he decides to stay.

ぞ | if i mention koko i must mention INUI, who has a shielding ability. he's able to reflect the effect of quirks off him to some extent, giving him some level of immunity to quirk based attacks — and he uses this alongside physical shields provided to him by the hero association's weapon devs, to be both a physical and a mental shield to himself and any one he partners up with.

[thighridingsamu]

HEYHEY MY SWEET BOY <333 congratulations on ur milestone baby im so happy for u!!! AND IM EXCITED FOR THIS REQ now feel absolutely free to disregard it or lmk if u want me to change it since it's a little different but ,,, i was thinking ab reader's first time w ennoken? could be first time in general or first time w them as a couple, but i think ab ur ennoken drabble on the daily so i thought it'd be fun!! however i know it's a lil different since its poly so lmk and ill send in something else <33

hq characters and your first time together

kozume kenma x gn!reader x ennoshita chikara | pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, milestone event, ennoken drabble |

content warnings: polyamory, dominant kenma (obv), submissive reader and ennoshita, reader gets called sweetheart and baby, ennoshita gets called good boy (bc he is :p), kenma gets called sir, tease!kenma, bit of service dom!ken, pure self indulgence <3 also the smut is brief but in my humble opinion this is hot asf lololol

word count: ~1k

a/n: AAAHHHHH. AETHER. A E T H E R. i'm sorry to others that requested but this has to be my favorite. it just... ENNOKEN SUPREMACY!!!! FUCK YEAH!!! holy fuck. okay. i pour my feelings into writing this. it's a tad different from the other parts but that's alright. as always: these are just my perception of the characters. these were made with the idea that the character and the reader have had previous sexual experience. the event is closed but mutuals are welcome to continue to send in requests!

The three of you are in a place where the stares don't matter. The conversations behind your backs have stopped reaching your ears. You're in a place where you and Kenma are comfortable to head on over to Ennoshita's office and steal him away for lunch. You and Ennoshita could care less if you're spotted in the background on Kenma's stream kissing, only to lay one on the star of the show later on. You three feel secure and happy.

So why was this so awkward? As you sit on the bed with the two men across from you, your cheeks burn.

"Sweetheart?" It's Kenma's voice that breaks the silence, shifting yours and Chikara's gaze upon him. You spot Chikara's hand in Kenma's and you scoot closer, opting to grab Ken's free hand. "Why so nervous, my loves? Weren't you two the ones that came up to me, all sweet and precious... asking to be-"

"Ken." You're surprised at your whine and shift, squeezing his hand in hopes it makes the butterflies dissipate. It doesn't.

"It's just.. we, or I, don't want to give you two any reason to leave."

Kenma looks at Chikara with a raised brow, lips upturned in a mocking way, but you both know he doesn't mean it in the way it comes off. At least not exactly. "That's-"

"No, 'cause, that's exactly it. What if the sex isn't good?!"

"Well first of all," you pout when the hand in yours leaves, eyes widening when the same cold fingers tilt your head up and squeeze your cheeks together, "I'm gonna need you to stop interrupting me, baby."

You and Chikara simultaneously take in a sharp breath. The three of you have known that this would be the way it went, Kenma having the 'power' in bed. His passive nature everywhere else made this authority oh so enticing. He's the one calling the shots, the one that will inevitably be allowing you to-

"Yes, sir."

His smile makes your tummy flip. "Knew my good baby was still in there." Kenma leaves a light kiss to your forehead and drops his hand back into yours. You watch as he tugs you and Chikara in, pressing you two into both of his sides. "Now, I want you to listen and I want you to listen well. The sex won't be bad, ya fuckin' dorks."

He scoffs at the huff you two let out in unison at the name calling. He notices your eyes are directed at his hand and flicks a finger up, grabbing your attention. You pout at the soft look in his eyes, body warm as you watch him give the same look to your other partner.

"But, I want you two to let me know if something isn't okay. I want you to be honest, safe, and comfortable. I want you to feel good. If we don't find our rhythm," he lowers his voice, "which I doubt because God my babies are to die for," you and Chikara roll your eyes, "I don't mind taking all the time we need."

Despite his advantage in height, Chikara looks small. He feels small. His eyes are glossed as he looks towards you and Kenma. And even if he has a playful smile on his face, his chest heaves with his breathing, uneven in excitement, arousal, anticipation. In his mind there's nowhere else he would rather be.

"I don't either," Chikara whispers, cheeks red. The kind of red you want him to be, flushed as the gears in his head are slowing. He's letting go of the control he feels he has to have.

They give you a look, Kenma's smirk soft and Chikara's eyes wide. You feel your cheeks burn hotter. You're lucky to have partners that care about you, that are willing to go above and beyond for you.

"I 'spose I have to say I don't either?" Your words are breathy and said with a smile, and you're leaning in to give Chikara a kiss. "I don't either. I love you both so much."

Kenma groans and removes his hand from yours once again, adjusting the crotch of his pants. You and Chikara give him a shared look, lips curled in feigned disgust. Now it's Kenma's turn to blush wildly, brows furrowed as he turns away and mumbles his defense, saying how hot the both of you are.

~

You're gasping as Chikara moves under you, hitting a spot so sweet that it makes your head fuzzy. What grounds you is Kenma's lips traveling up your spine, sucking and biting in a few spots.

Each other's names are being moaned and breathed, it's mesmerizing. It's dizzying.

Your focus shifts when you hear an especially loud moan of your name. You look down and see Chikara's face twisted up in pleasure, brows knitted tightly. His fingers dig into your hips and you throw your head back. Kenma takes the opportunity to nip at your neck, smiling against the skin when he sees Chikara's face. With a strong but gentle hand you're pushed down, chest-to-chest with the man under you.

You do what Kenma wants without further instruction, attaching your lips to his jaw as Ken begins to leave hickey.

"C'mon, Chikara. You can cum for our baby, right? They feel so good around you, you just can't take it, huh?" His words make even you whimper, though not directed at you. "Be a good boy, cum for us. You deserve it, baby."

You're overtaken by a warmth as Chikara lets out a broken moan of thanks, your orgasm coming quickly as he releases. You're moaning and panting, clinging to your boyfriend as he does the same. Kenma feels pride as he watches you two. His whispered praise makes the feeling better, as do his cool hands against your bodies.

"Good job, loves. Did so good for, sir," he hums quietly, leaving soft kisses on the both of you. "But you told me three. That was only two."

tagging: @newfriendjen , @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein , @natsuonii , @kiyoobi , @akirahira , @spookyy-babiee , @sexyandcringe @babydai @bathtub-spider @kazuk3n . blogs in bold could not be tagged. want to be added to my taglist? fill out this form!

[f1nalboys]

GOING GHOST HUNTING

heres a self-indulgent and wonderful little thing for some of the characters i write for because im hilarious and i want to ghost hunt with these mfs (affectionate) no i cant spell no idc deal w it yall should know this by now also is this a safe place to admit that i used to have a massive crush on zac bagans or no……

mentioned: jd, ian mckinley, randy meeks, tatum riley, sidney prescott, billy loomis, stu macher, mickey altieri, derek feldman, hallie mcdaniel, erin ulmer

Randy Meeks, Ian McKinley, Jason Dean, Erin Ulmer

ok so me and tatianna made this trio up and im in love w them so bare with me while i go feral. <3 ANYWAYS so all three of the boys simultaneously believe and don't believe. they're the type to be like "that shit is SO FAKE!" but the second they hear a sound they start throwing up. Ian is super into paranormal shit and has a big bucket list on where he wants to visit eventually. JD is the one who will antagonize the spirits by making fun of them and being disrespectful but the second he feels a breeze he's sobbing and asking for forgiveness. Randy is the most vocal about not believing until he actually shows up and then he's all about being respectful and not doing anything to piss them off lmfao. He's also the most afraid and will genuinely believe he's getting possessed LMFADBGJBSB Ian will have to calm him down and JD is there with a straight face but internally he's trying to remember that quote from the exorcist heheheh basically i love them it would be so easy to scare them when they're actually somewhere but just being like 'omg i see something...' erin is CONSTANTLY scaring them SJGBSHBGH its so funny she disappears in the place and just screams bloody murder, will jump out of random hiding spots, even throw random stuff to get the guys freaked out. she is the only one who is remotely calm the entire time and has, on many occasions, had to hold one of them who fucking scooby doo jumped into her arms yes it was ian no he wont talk about it he feels safe in her arms i would like to have sex in a haunted location with them all.

Billy Loomis, Stu Macher, Mickey Altieri

ASSHOLES! they do not take it seriously in the slightest especially not Stu. he goes around and messes with stuff, jumps out to scare you, fucks with the oujia board if you're using one, shit like that. he's also not easily scared, if something happens he finds it fucking awesome, so just work on your acting bc if you start crying and saying you're seeing stuff he will go fucking bone white LMFAO. Billy is just like "this is so dumb ghosts don't exist you're an idiot are so are the fake spirits" the entire time. he will never ever admit if something creeps him out so he'll just use that energy and accuse you of being scared hehe. Mickey might be the better option out of them because he'll TRY to take it the smallest bit seriously for you. think shane madej type shit LMFAO he's talking with the ghosts and teasing them but if you're actually freaking out he'll still laugh at you but he'll lay off a bit. i would like to have sex in a haunted location with them all.

Sidney Prescott, Hallie McDaniel, Tatum Riley, Derek Feldman

best group ever ever ever <3 they all take it seriously, won't fuck around and be purposely disrespectful but also don't take it TOO seriously if that makes sense??? like they'll all lighten the mood with a few jokes and will occasionally scare the others when they can hehe. derek is the best if you're genuinely afraid of this shit, he'll be around you the entire time and try to calm your fears as much as he can. he'll even offer to take you home and leave early if you're not feeling it. hallie is the bona fide ghost hunter, has all the latest gadgets and knows all the rules she'd fucking buy night vision goggles if given the chance. she really wants to catch a ghost on camera and gets so excited at the slightest bit of activity, her energy and excitement are SUPER contagious. sid and tatum take it a little less seriously and mainly humor hallie when they tag along. tatum will be the type to come up behind you and go 'boo!' in your ear LMFAO. sid wants to play scary games like the hide and clap game but in complete darkness LMFAO. the bravest one too, will sit in complete darkness by herself and ask the ghosts questions. i would like to have sex in a haunted location with them all.

sorry guys something hacked me i think ignore the crossed out sections they mean nothing.

[domthedevil]

I'm absolutely loving your gentle series, could you maybe do Beel next? 👉👈

Big Beel is already so gentle and this made me weak in the knees. I don’t know what it is about this series but it’s so fun to write. Thank you for sending this in! Also is 3 AM so ignore my horrible errors.

Be Gentle pt 4

Warnings: Beel x AFAB!MC, loss of virginity

The stupid way Asmo and Mammon bickered over who you liked better only made Beel’s stomach rumble. Thinking there were better places to be, Beel crept out of the room and made his way to your room. He remembered you’d brought a special snack from the Human World for him. And he’d be lying if he said the previous conversation didn’t make him want to see you.

Hearing a knock on your door - a single loud thunk, you called for Beel to come in in response. Joyfully he walked in to see you relaxing in bed. He forgot you had been waiting for him to give this gift the him. He apologized softly before sitting behind you on the bed, wrapping his arms around you and the small present you held. Beel’s chin rested on your shoulder as your cheeks grew warm.

“I got a present from home. It’s my favorite.” Kissing his cheek softly you opened the box to show him the treat you had picked out just for him. That little dribble of drool you thought was adorable grazed your cheek. “B-Beel!!”

“S-Sorry!” He clumsily wiped his mouth and your cheek with the sleeve of his jacket. Your laugh assured him that you weren’t actually mad. Shifting to sit in his lap facing him, hands on his shoulders, you kissed his cheek again. Beel noticed hot warm your cheek was against his when you spoke lowly.

“Actually Beel...I was hoping I could ask you something?”

“Of course!” Beel managed to make out in between bites.

“MC...Im really happy.” His red cheeks framed the huge smile across his face. “I want to...be close to you.”

“You’re being too honest.” You nervously laughed. “But...if it’s you Beel, I know you’ll be gentle.”

“Of course.”

His husky voice brushed against Your lips as he kissed you softly. Too softly. But you smiled as he slowly pressed against you harder. Broad arms shed the jacket he normally wore, followed by his shirt. He knew they wouldn’t be missed. Now that they were bare, Beel’s arms wrapped around you tightly.

A small moan slipped through your puffy lips. Beel’s tongue wrestled yours into submission. His kisses were so different from anyone else’s. He knew how to work this muscle to achieve its peak performance. He groaned in response before further exploring your mouth. These small noises you made while he kissed you drove him insane. Beel blushed slightly as he thought about coming the other night to the thought of this. Of sharing this experience.

Rubbing his chest, soft but firm under your finger tips, your hips rocked slowly against his. Parting a moment from the intoxicating kiss, you let out a subtle gasp for air. Beel’s big hands travelled to your hips. Holding them still as he used his own hips to rub against you. The rough way he pressed his hardening cock against you made you wet. He was an impressive size. And you worried for a moment what it would feel like.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you MC.” His low soothing voice resounded in your core.

Holding you close, he rolled you both over. A little too eagerly, Beel helped you out of your clothing. Seeing you naked in front of him had that same small trail of drool run down his chin. You felt a little embarrassed, but flattered all the same. Wiping his mouth clean again, he lied onto you so that he could kiss you, and trail down to your sensitive nubs. A shaky moan from your excited voice made his member twitch with need.

“Is this good MC?” Beel needed validation and confirmation.

“You can be...a little rougher.” Your voice was small but laced with lust. Arms on his shoulders, you braces your self as his teeth nibbled around your peaks. Sucking and licking hungrily. “Nngh-! Y-yes...that’s good.”

As your hands tangle in his bright locks, his hands traveled under you. Your hips twitch at the feeling of his rough finger against your clit. Huffing Beel’s name quietly, he moved his finger in tight circles against the sensitive bundle of nerves. Making small waves of heat run through you. Beel grew harder the more you said his name. Fuck he was trying so hard to hold back. But this was about you, not just him.

Slipping a finger into your entrance, Beel was met with little resistance, though it felt as if it were two of your own fingers at once. You had already soaked the underwear you’d been wearing earlier,helping him ease into you. His second finger made your voice crack. Though not too thick or long, his fingers were still able to stretch parts of you that you’d never felt before. Beel whispered small encouragements as he worked to stretch you more.

“Does it hurt MC? I’ll stop if it does.”

“N-No. Don’t stop now.”

“You’re doing so well MC. Relax and let me take care of you.”

Moving away a moment, Beel’s face turned a deep red as he watched you watching him. Slowly the buckle on his belt and underwear descended and there you gazed upon his cock for the first time. He was intimidating, but you still bit your bottom lip with desire. The glazed look in your eye made Beel’s heart pound.

Holding your thighs together with his hands, Beel pulled you to the edge of your bed. Holding your legs vertically, he aligned his cock with the space between your thighs and swollen clit.

“Squeeze your thighs MC...I want to show you a little...how it’s going to feel.”

Following his suggestion and squeezing your legs tightly together, Beel thrusted his cock between your legs, tucked right above your dripping sex and slamming the tip of his cock against your clit. You couldn’t stop the moans leaving you breathless. Gripping at the sheets below you and twisting with pleasure only encouraged Beel to thrust faster and harder.

A deep burning in your core started to become unbearable. Every ridge on his shaft covered itself in your delicious slick. Your sensitive pearl being roughly pressed sent wave after wave of ecstasy over you. Soon it crashed against your shores. Walls clenching around nothing, your first orgasm had your hips twitching. Beel had to stop himself from drooling again as he admired your lewd expression. His hips had stopped once he realized your moans were growing sexier and sexier.

“M-more. Beel I want more...” you managed to puff and pant out as you spread your legs.

“I love you MC.” He held your hands in his large and rough ones. Rubbing his slick covered dick in short thrusts and pressing the tip of his cock inside you, your relaxed walls and wet pussy wanted to suck him inside. However he was going to move slow. Easing himself in, Beel groaned as it passed inside of you for the first time. You hissed loudly, holding back the cry you wanted to let out. A few small tears fell as your breathing regulated. A sharp pain had scared you a moment, but it had faded to a dull ache.

“Beel...I love you.” Your shaky voice rang out as he continued to sink himself into your warmth. “It feels so strange but...it feels so good too.”

“Do you want me to move?”

You nodded as your arms wrapped around his neck. Placing a soft kiss to your cheek, he lifted his hips in slow thrusts. Letting the feeling of his dick pulling in and out of you linger each time he moved. Licking soothingly on your neck he moved as evenly as possible.

“Is that good?”

“Mmn...m-more Beel.”

His grin and the glimmer in his amethyst eyes made you fall even more in love with him. As his hips sped up he began to press against a very sensitive spot. With how much he was stretching you it felt like every thrust built the heat in your core.

“Y-yes.”

He loved how vocal you were. Hearing how much you liked it encouraged him. Gave him freedom to indulge as well. Knowing he was the first to see this side of you made him blush furiously. This sight was just for him. Straightening his back, Beel looked down at you as he bounced you up and down his cock. Seeing the full picture made his orgasm quicken. And soon your name fell from his lips like a spell he had to remember for class.

“Beel I’m close again. It’s so tight and hot. W-what do I do?” There was a slight panic in your tone.

“Shhh...hold on to me.”

Wrapping his arms around your torso again, Beel buried his face into your neck. Your hasty moans and whimpers made him drool uncontrollably. This time there was no stopping it. But you were too focused on the burning coil about to spring inside you.

“Coming...” Beel could barely make out your whine. But he knew he had heard you clearly when your walls flexed and pulsed and squeezed around him. A deep guttural sound echoed in your room as Beel unexpectedly felt himself come inside you. You begged him to still a moment as your whole body twitched and adjusted back to gravity. Your orgasm had run so deep your toes were numb.

“MC. Are you...?” Beel’s voice trailed off as he finished cleaning you and himself up. Still nude, he rested on the bed beside you. Locking eyes with yours.

“I’m great Beel. That was so amazing.” You bit your lip again, looking at him with bedroom eyes. “Can we...do it again?”

Letting out a hearty chuckle, Beel lifted you so that you straddled his waist above him.

“Anything for you MC.”

“You’re drooling Beel...”

This is a continuation of a request. Read more here:

Be Gentle (Levi x AFAB!MC)

Be Gentle (Belphegore x AFAB!MC)

Be Gentle (Satan x AFAB!MC)

[multi-lefaiye]

assign songs to ur mutuals! or blorbos!

ohohho :3c okay so logan also sent one w/ songs so i'm gonna do something wild and assign y'all Specific Horror Men/Blorbos I'm Overly Attached To. i was going to leave my choices unexplained but i'm going to explain them a little.

you are larry johnson from sally face, because i think you might enjoy his vibes, but also because like.... idk how to fully explain it but larry to me represents a character i would really want to be friends with and you're someone i very much enjoy being friends with, and also i think you'd enjoy the absolute wack-ass directions his storyline takes.

@albatris is angel from nope, and not just b/c i watched nope recently b/c its posts about it made me so intrigued i had to see what was going on. but because angel is endearing and i love him, and logan is endearing and i love it.

@nicola-writes is sal fisher from sally face, because sal is a very sweet character who wants to do good but also isn't a pushover by any means, and that's kinda how i view him too!! also b/c i associate them both with the color blue.

@skitzo-kero is jerry tftgs. not just because they like him, but also they have very similar vibes and this is well-established. they're super sweet and fun, just like jerry, but also they can kick ass and stand up for themself, also like him!

i'm gonna be self-indulgent and even tho i am not a mutual i wanna say that i'm jack townsend tftgs. this one i will not explain. i'm an established jack townsend kinnie. (insert jack/jerry joke here)

@dnmoriarty is drew from the first conjuring movie, because they're an absolute sweetheart and super helpful but also they have a killer sense of humor and a very fun vibe <3 and also i know they love the conjuring and other horror movies so i gotta <3

okay i'm running out of steam a little SO y'all i apologize if i missed you!!!!! it's not personal and i am not intentionally excluding you and i care you dearly!!! this is just off the top of my head!!!!

if you're not on this post and you wanna know what horror man i associate with you please feel free to ask and i'll assign you one <3

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Laito Dark [Prologue]

ー The scene starts in the forest

Yui: ( ...I made it to the Demon World, but what should I do now...? )

( They always escorted me to their castle in the past, so I don’t know the way either... )

( Running away was the only thing on my mind, so I came here without giving it a second thought, but perhaps I made the wrong choice after all... )

ーー Guess I have no other choice but to proceed for now.

*Rustle*

Yui: !?

( Don’t tell me Wolves have made it this far...!? )

ー She starts running

Yui: Haah, haah...

( ...Seems like they’re not coming after me...Thank god... )

Haah...I’m kind of tired...

( Perhaps I should find shelter somewhere and wait for the sun to rise...Then I’ll continue my search for the castle once it’s light ouーー )

( Ah, but...But if I recall correctly, the nights here last much longer than those in the human world... )

What now...?

( For now, I’ll find a safe space to rest. There’s no point in aimlessly running around... )

ー The scene shifts to a cave

Yui: Haah...What should I do next?

( I wonder if I should just head back? Even if I continue to wander around here... )

( However, that’s where those Wolves are... )

Uu...

( It’s no use. I can’t come up with any good ideas while mentally exhausted... )

( ...I’ll rest up a little. )

Haah...I wonder what Laito-kun’s doing right now...?

ー Yui closes her eyes

*TIMESKIP*

???: Kukukuku...How lovely...Honestly...Why is a girl’s lonely expression just soーー

ーー irresistibly sexy, I wonder? I can’t get enough of it.

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Nn...

*Rustle*

Yui: Nn...Stop...

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: It tickles...

( ーー Wait...!? )

( Something is...feeling me up...!? )

ー She opens her eyes

Yui: Kyaaaaah....!!!

???: Uwah...!?

*Thud*

Yui: ...!! Eh...!?

Laito: Owowow...How could you suddenly jump up like that, Bitch-chan...? You meanie...

Yui: L-Laito-kun...!?

Laito: I took a heavy blow right to the face as a result...

Yui: I...I’m sorry. Are you alright?

Laito: Uuu...I’m fine...

Yui: Haah, thank god...

Laito: I know I’ve only got myself to blame for trying to assault you in your sleep but...

Even so, your headbutt was nothing to scoff at.

Yui: ...Sorry. I was surprised when I felt something touch my body...

More importantly, when did you get here?

Laito: Eh? Quite some time ago?

Yui: Eh!? No way...You should have woken me up then.

Laito: I mean, that would have been a missed opportunity, no~?

Yui: A missed opportunity? Wait, how so?

Laito: This situation, obviously! Nfu~

Yui: ...!?

Laito: My cute Bitch-chan finds herself in unknown territory...

With nobody to come to her rescue, she has to spend a night full of insecurities all by herself.

Just the thought of that gives me the shivers! Don’t you feel the same?

Yui: I-I don’t...! I was really scared, you know...!?

Laito: Oh dear~? Are you mad at me?

Yui: W...Well...

( For as lonely as I felt by myself, seeing Laito-kun still be his usual self makes me feel extremely relieved. )

( I could never get upset at him... )

I’m not angry.

Laito: Fufu...Of course you aren’t~ You just love me after all.

Yui: ...How about you?

Laito: What about me?

Yui: ...Do you also...?

Laito: What’s this? You want to confirm it? I’ve said it plenty of times before, haven’t I?

Yui: Butーー

Laito: Nfu...You’re uncertain, aren’t you? ...I can tell...Nn.

*Smooch*

Yui: ( Laito-kun... )

Laito: Of course ーー I love you. (1) A lot, okay?

Feeling reassured now? Nfu~

Yui: Yeah...Thank you.

Laito: Haah, I thought we were going to be apart for a while but...Our reunion came quicker than I expected...

Yui: I’m sorry for coming here on a whim. The Wolves made it to the manor...

Laito: Oh no, Bitch-chan. This is what you should say instead.

‘I missed you so much, I couldn’t stand being apart...So while I was thinking of you...

I subconsciously found myself opening the gate to the Demon World.’ ...Something like that?

ーー Say, tell me. I know we weren’t apart for long, but while you were by yourself...You thought of me, didn’t you?

Yui: Well, of course...

Laito: Did you let your imagination run wild during those times?

Yui: Well...

Laito: You didn’t?

Yui: ...I-I didn’t have the time to...

Laito: Really?

Yui: I don’t lie...

Laito: Fufu...Bitch-chan, no point in hiding it~

I can tell. The fact that your face is flushed as red as a strawberry right now proves my point.

You see...While feeling sad from noticing how my scent slowly faded from your own body.

Your feelings for me should have only grown stronger...

...Just like mine did...Haah...

ー He takes in her scent

Yui: Laito-kun, that tickles...

Laito: You don’t like it?

Yui: Uu...

Laito: Say, Bitch-chan? Should I not put myself at ease by taking in your scent like this?

Yui: ( He really sees right through me... )

Laito: Kukuku....A prisoner of love, you’re completely in my grasp, aren’t you?

ーー I don’t think I have to say this...But you have me in your grasp as well.

The truth is, I was worried you might just follow me here, so I’ve been keeping an eye on you.

Yui: Eh...!? T-Then...You’ve been watching me ever since I set foot inside this world...?

Laito: Exactly. I was watching over you.

I figured you’d come. You can no longer bear being away from me after all.

Yui: ...

Laito: Having trouble proving me wrong because I hit the nail on the head?

Yui: Yup.

Laito: ...Why the haphazard response?

I bet you want to try and defend your case, but you find it too much trouble, don’t you?

Yui: Uu...I-I mean, no matter what kind of response I give, I can’t talk my way out... (2)

Laito: Nfufu~ You seem to know me very well, Bitch-chan.

As to be expected of my Yui-chan~!

Yui: ( ...He seems very happy... )

( I guess I can take this as him genuinely accepting my feelings? )

( In that case, I’m happy too... )

Laito: Bitch-chan, are you listening?

Yui: Ah, yeah. I am.

Laito: Really? I hope soーー

*HOOOOWL*

Laito: Whoops...It’d be troublesome if those Wolves were to show up...

Come on. Let’s go.

Yui: Yeah!

( I really am glad Laito-kun came for me. Now I can rest assured, right? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the living room of the Sakamaki manor

Yui: ーー Wait...W-Why? We came back.

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly. That was my plan all along after all.

Yui: Is this...okay?

Laito: Hmー Let me think.

What if you’re attacked by those Wolves like Ayato-kun was...?

Laito: Well, I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it...?

Yui: Laito-kun!

Laito: Just kidding~ It was a joke.

But you know, I might just prefer being roughened up by those Wolves over having to stay at that castle.

ーー I’d rather not have to stay there for an extended period of time.

Yui: ...

Laito: Say, you feel the same way, don’t you? Rather than being stuck at that castle crawling with Vampires...

...you’d much rather indulge in some sweet private time with me here, don’t you?

ー He steps closer

Yui: ( He’s trying to beg the question. )

( I guess he really must not want to stay at that castle... )

Right. Let’s do that then?

Laito: Nfu~ You’re good at matching someone’s vibe, aren’t you? I don’t hate that, you know?

*Rustle*

Yui: Laito-kun...

Laito: Yes?

Yui: I like you.

Laito: Fufu... ーー So do I...Nn.

*Smooch*

Yui: ...

Laito: Yui-chan...

*Rustle*

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Yui’s room

Laito: ーー That being said, this place sure has known better times...The whole manor has been turned upside down...

I think Reiji would have a mental breakdown if he saw this. Nfu~

Yui: We have to try and tidy things up step by step, otherwise we won’t be able to properly live here.

Laito: Good point. However, I don’t dislike the thought of living in this mess of a manor.

Yui: Eeh!? W-What makes you say that!?

Laito: Just try imagining it! What it would feel like to ‘have some fun’ (3) in a room which has been turned upside down~ 

As you find yourself amidst not-so-ideal circumstances, you suddenly experience a strong desire for carnal pleasure and you eagerlyーー

Yui: S-Stop right there! I’ve heard enough!

Laito: Eeh? I was just about to get to the juicy part though?

Yui: M-More importantly, I wonder if those Wolves won’t come here anymore?

Laito: I’m sure we’ll be fine for a while. However, if we stay here too long, they might find us eventually.

Yui: Right...

Laito: So, I had a great idea.

All of the Vampires who live around this area have retreated back to the Demon World.

In other words, their manor is currently uninhabited, right? So why don’t we go live there?

Yui: You mean we could go to the manor of the Mukami’s, for example?

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly!

We stay here for a bit first, then go to the Mukami’s place after. Honestly, I wouldn’t even mind returning to your childhood home for a bit.

Yui: I see...If we go from one place to another, it’d be more difficult for them to track us down.

Laito: I think it’s an almost disgustingly good idea, if I may say so myself.

Yui: However, are we sure we can just invite ourselves in...?

Laito: It kind of gets me all excited! It’s like we’re eloping together. Nfufu~ 

Yui: ( He’s not listening at all. )

( We don’t know when the Wolves will make their move, so we have to stay on guard as long as we don’t know what exactly they’re after. )

( I can only pray life will be back to normal soon... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) This might just be a stylistic choice, but when Laito says 愛してる or ‘aishiteru’, it isn’t written in kanji as it is in all other routes, but in Katakana. This is quite odd/uncommon because usually Katakana is used for foreign words or words borrowed from another language.

I’m sure there are other people who could do a better analysis of this, but I do think it’s written like this because Laito saying those words is also somewhat surreal in itself? So by writing the word in Katakana, it reflects that sense of ‘strangeness’. 

(2) Literally she says that she can’t escape his ‘pace’. 

(3) もつれ合う or ‘motsue-au’ literally means ‘to get entangled’. I mostly found it in context of tangled vines, etc. but I think we all know what Laito implies here. :p

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