#I wanted to do something special to acknowledge all of my amazing lesbian friends.... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lilshotgun · 4 years ago

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So here's why i've been inactive for the past couple months on tumblr:

As many of you know, I've been a fairly avid content creator for the warrior nun fandom creating a ton of content for free. I joined a Warrior Nun discord server named Future Warrior Nuns (which is a ridiculous name considering in the show Ava says there will be no more warrior nuns but that's besides the point) and the treatment I received there was amazing. At the beginning. I spoke up about racism and injustices within the community because you cannot escape it anywhere unfortunately and I believed I'd found a community that would protect me and be there for me if i was ever faced with racism or hate.

For clarity, anyone in blue is a moderator. As you go on to read this their usernames and profile images might change so I’ll clarify who is who. I’ll only be using the names I’ve been presented with and only the ones that are most relevant to the situation.

Fiesta (white American cis woman) aka Doesn't Kelly, Witch Rhyme

Taz (white Australian cis woman)

Milan (a very sheltered American transmasculine poc whos uncomfortable talking about racism because they've never had to deal with it) aka Who The Fuck Is Kelly

Rory (white Australian cis woman) aka Stronger Kelly

But after a while, things slowly started to change. It was subtle and if you hadn't been there from the beginning, you wouldn't have noticed. It started with the moderators spending less time in the server because they had made many of their own servers and spent far more time over there. Which is understandable when you’re a group of friends that all have a common purpose. But the lack of leadership was palpable. I had to sometimes direct fellow server members to proper channels or do a few other things that were supposed to be things that the moderators were supposed to take care of and their lack of care for the server was becoming more relevant. If you were in their little group of friends or kissed their ass then they wouldn't target you unnecessarily.

Exactly three weeks later, (and only one week after my birthday in which everyone was super sweet and nice to me) the love and friendship they claimed to have for me vanished completely. For context, people in positions of power, especially in a server, should be people you can come to if you ever have an issue with anything or anyone. They should also be people that can come to terms with admitting their behavior was incorrect when being told so. So here is what happened:

I have always been open about being a transmasculine person of color on all my platforms, and if you know me on any platform you know that. The behavior shown here between me and the moderators was absolutely appalling to me. They pushed my voice aside and only acknowledged Narcissa, a cis white woman, who was agreeing and saying the same things i had because i had asked her in private to help me out because i felt it was unfair that two server moderators were coming at me so aggressively.

As you can see from the screenshots, they claimed that I attacked Fiesta when i was simply pointing out that her behavior was hypocritical and unfair especially because she is in a position of power and that's something people of power should be aware of.

I was the only one brave enough to say what everyone was thinking. And that's something I have always taken pride in. Speaking up for others when they are too scared to do so themselves. And that was shown through multiple people coming into my dms to tell me they either felt the same way I did or they felt the way I was treated in the conversation above was unfair. This next screenshot is from a private message from a former manager.

Narcissa (white cis woman) received a few apologies from the server managers privately, yet my dms stayed vacant. At this point, they made a “public apology” towards everyone in the server which I forgot to screenshot, and not a single server manager reached out to me in private. But they did share these in the server for everyone to see:

They then opened an anonymous feedback form for us to share if we had any issues privately, which of course, I did, and so I filled it out saying “wheres my fucking apology ~king” so they would know exactly who the response was coming from. I was angry and hurt that they treated me the way they did. I regretted wording it like that almost instantly after sending it. But the deed was done and it was unchangeable. And not too long after, this was posted publicly in the server feedback channel so that everyone in the server could see:

Whether I shared that it was from me or not, she violated the server moderators unanimous statement saying that everything posted in the feedback form would stay anonymous and made my response public using the excuse that me sharing my name made it okay for her to show it to everyone. I was also being informed by other people I’m friends with that the forms that were being submitted were not staying anonymous and that they were being shared from other moderators privately in other peoples' dms.

I stuck around in the server because the people that I had formed friendships with were there and they were special to me and I wanted to be able to talk to them still in spite of everything that had happened to me up until this point. I was much more subdued at this point, I was posting less art and as you noticed I practically disappeared from twitter as well.

My love for Warrior Nun was decreasing rapidly because the environment had become so toxic and unwelcoming that I felt scared to say much in the server in fear of being banned after seeing one of my trans poc friends banned for saying hi to another member. They had been looking for a reason to ban him for being on my side instead of theirs and apparently found the “perfect” excuse. They deleted his messages and claimed in their private admin channel that he had harassed someone in the server without screenshotting the false evidence first. How do I know this? Because I had a person on the team that valued me as a person instead of as a content creator and what I could give to the server.

I proceeded to curate the server for what fit me best, considering the ridiculous number of channels they created that had nothing to do with the show at this point. And there was an option for members to do that so I used the tools they had provided with and opted out of channels I no longer wanted to see. I consolidated it down to 35 out of 66 channels because some of them had no opt out option. And still, it was way more channels than I'd prefer to be in. I narrowed it down to only ships I actually cared about instead of having a bunch of channels I was never gonna read or say things in. And that's when the manager that cared about us provided me with these telling screenshots.

Why put me in “jail” over removing some roles? It may not have been explicit, but the internalized racism of putting a person of color in “jail” for curating what they wanted from a server is frankly off putting to say the least. "Implicit racism includes unconscious biases, expectations, or tendencies that exist within an individual, regardless of ill-will or any self-aware prejudices."

And what does carl bot do exactly? It logs EVERYTHING. But only if that feature is enabled. And clearly, in Future Warrior Nuns, it is.

They didn’t care about me and didn’t care that I was a consistent content creator. For lack of better words, I was one of the biggest reasons the actual part of the server that was dedicated to the show was constantly active and once I became quiet, along with a few other content creators I talked with, the activity decreased immensely. I said things here and there but that was about it. Until I was looking through their emotes. I noticed that they had trans, gay, demi, bi, aro, and ace heart emotes but the lesbian one wasnt there. Which was honestly surprising considering how much of the fandom identifies as lesbian. So I asked for it to be added and after it was, so many people were super happy because of it.

One day later i asked for more Mary emotes because they hadn’t completely brushed me off after requesting for the lesbian pride one. I noticed that Ava, the white character, had 72 animated and still emotes at the time while Mary, the black character, only had 18. And only 4 out of those were positive emotes. Here's that conversation:

I offered up my services to create Mary emotes for them considering I was an artist and content creator and it would be no issue for me at all to contribute but they declined, saying they were working on some themselves and that they would eventually add them to the server. The ones that they had created all looked terrible. They didn't know how to color correct her skin so that it wouldn't look ashy because of the filters used in the show and instead of asking for help from me, an artist of color, they simply did their own thing. And from 18 emotes, it went up to a dazzling 24.

Needless to say, the racism they claimed not to have was pretty evident at this point. It was shockingly clear that they didn’t care as much about the characters of color than they did for the white and white passing ones. After this entire debacle I didn't even bother trying to ask for more emotes for Lilith considering how warmly I was welcomed with asking for more Mary emotes.

A little less than two months after the initial incident, I still hadn’t been contacted by anyone on the admin team about absolutely anything in private. It wasn’t until people asked Fiesta if she had reached out to me or even bothered with an apology before she sent me this:

The “apology” was worthless. Too much time had passed since I was publicly humiliated and portrayed as the evil transmasculine person of color to them, and only a select few people interacted with me. I felt completely shut out because of how the admin team handled a difference of opinion. Instead of correcting themselves and admitting they were wrong, they doubled down on the intimidation and bullying by changing their rules so that they could find excuses to ban or punish anyone they felt was not on their side.

At this point, my grades were heavily declining. I was already struggling with keeping up with everything on my own due to covid and my mental disabilities. Being a victim of this racist behavior made everything worse. I couldn’t get out of bed, I was barely eating a meal a day because I had no motivation to work so I had little to no money to buy myself food. I was starving most days. And I didn’t ask my mom for help because I felt everything was my fault and that I really was in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything even though looking back at it I wasn't wrong for what I said. I had also been informed that my dad died because of covid and because of all of this stress and depression I had officially failed my classes.

This is really difficult for me to say because I’m a very private person and I hate asking for help or sharing anything about my private life, but for you to understand everything that was happening to me at the time, this is stuff you unfortunately need to know.

There’s many more things that I could say about this server but this thread is already long enough as it is and it was hard enough to write this all down. But behind closed doors, the admin team had some of the nastiest attitudes and behaviors you could’ve seen. Had they realized we had someone on their team that actually valued us and others as people, they probably would have kept their blatant ignorance and dislike towards server members hidden better. But white people like oppressing others when they know they can get away with it and this is just another sad unfortunate example that cost me and my fellow friends of color some heavy emotional and psychological damage. They did wrong and refused to acknowledge it and instead tried to find a way to ban us for not having the hivemind that they so desperately want to control everyone with. If you want to see for yourself, feel free to find a link to a discord server named Future Warrior Nuns. If you look back through their channels, you’ll find most of these conversations either gone or have many messages missing. I hope my story will help understand why I’ve been gone from tumblr for so long and i hope something like this never happens to you.

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euphoricsunflowers · 4 years ago

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euphoric - song yuqi

a/n: i am big gay for her she’s so pretty wow. she’s also a sweetie pie we stan. this is my first time writing for any girl group stuff so… tell me if it’s good 👉👈

contains: lesbian sex, dom/sub themes (they switch a bit), bondage, lowkey a size kink

warnings: fem! reader. also i’m big tall so reader is big tall lol deal w it.

rating: R

word count: 1.4k

there was always this… weird tension between you and yuqi. of course, it wasn’t bad. she was always sweet and kind to you and you were always friendly with each other. every now and again though, she’d do something that made you feel things that you probably shouldn’t for a friend. you only hoped you could make her feel the same.

being best friends with soyeon did have its benefits. you basically had a free pass to hanging out with all of her friends, including yuqi. they all seemed to like you, so you stopped being ‘soyeon’s friend’ and became ‘y/nnie’ pretty quickly.

the girls decided to play a game of truth or dare, and of course, the lovely soyeon, who knew about your… complicated feelings regarding yuqi, took advantage.

when it was her turn to assign you a dare, she saw her chance, and she did not dare miss, “make out with anyone here in the hallway closet for ten minutes.”

now look, you could obviously just pick soojin and tell her that soyeon was just being a dick. soojin will probably understand and you could just wait out the clock until you’re released, but something inside you told you to do… something else.

“yuqi?” your voice was faint, but she heard it all the same, “w-would… you be okay with it?”

she blushes, but ultimately nods softly, and stands up to wobble over to you. she takes your hand and you lead her to the small closet. it’s even smaller than you thought when you step inside, but you manage to fit into the closet somewhat easily with yuqi. she’s quite smaller than you, so her head has to rest on your shoulder in order for you to both be somewhat comfortable.

“w-we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, soyeon was just—” you try to reassure her, but you feel something that makes you shut the hell up. yuqi’s pressing feather light kisses to your neck, and they make you giggle from the ticklish feelings. she keeps at it for a while and you think maybe that’s all that’s going to happen tonight until—

you let out a moan as she raises her leg up to create some friction against your heat, and you feel, rather than see, her smirk, “on the contrary, i think we could do something.”

she pulls at the edge of your hoodie, and you get the hint to pull it off, exposing your bare skin to her, “braless, hm?”

“oh you’re the worst,” you mumble, but she laughs. the ten minutes are up, seen by the knocking at the door. you rush to put your hoodie back on, but you’re both a bit disheveled and you both decide to abandon hanging out with the others. soyeon gives you a wink, but you just ignore her.

you pull yuqi upstairs and immediately you lean down to cup her cheeks and take in her taste like you were starved of it for months. and on some level, you had been. you’d been so focused on trying to keep yourself together around her that you never thought of how high you’d feel once you finally gave in. you pull back to murmur to her quickly, “jump.”

she does as you ask, wrapping her legs around your waist as you support her by holding onto her ass. she feels incredible to finally hold and kiss, so much so that you never want to let her leave your arms.

“please please i need more,” she mumbles, and you can feel the power dynamic changing from earlier. you smile at her, giving her exactly what she wants.

“whatever my baby wants.” you whisper in her ear, and she trembles slightly. you rest her on the bed before sliding a hand past her sweats, just faintly touching her over her panties. she whines loudly, obviously upset at the teasing.

“please y/n i can’t handle it—”

“yes you can, darling,” you say, but stop. she opens her eyes to look at you confused, “should we establish safewords?”

she blushes at the thought of ever going so far as to need one, but nods, “diamond. mine’s diamond.”

you think for a second, absentmindedly rubbing your hand against her, finally giving her the friction she needed, “mine can be… pineapple.”

she nods in acknowledgment, but she’s too lost in how your hand feels against her to really give it any thought.

she starts getting louder and louder and, though it’s hard to understand what she’s trying to say, you get the gist of what she wants. you slow down your movements and eventually you stop completely, as she pushes herself up to meet you in a kiss. she flips you over so she’s on top, straddling you at the waist. she looks so small and adorable above you, and you can’t help but giggle. she looks around, and for a second you think to question what she’s looking for, but then she mumbles, “stay still.”

she gets up to rummage through the drawer. you remember that this is soojin’s house, it’s not that weird for yuqi to know where she kept things.

you’re lost in your thoughts when you feel her weight holding you down again. she holds up a leather belt and asks, “is this okay?”

you nod. she pulls off your hoodie for the second time and you move your hands so she’ll have an easier time binding them. she ties them quite loosely, but it’s more for effect than actually restraining you, so it doesn’t really matter. she starts by kissing your lips feverishly, moving down your neck, taking her sweet time at your collarbone, and she finally reaches your breasts. she sucks on one of your nipples while playing with the other one between her fingers. she’s only sucking and licking around, moving back up your chest, before experimentally taking a bite at your collarbone. you strain out a moan, and scramble to say, “if you plan to continue doing that, i hope you know this won’t be the last time we fuck.”

she giggles mischievously to herself, “good thing i want to keep doing this with you, forever and ever.”

she continues her combination of licking, sucking, and biting, and at this point you’re struggling to breath. all the pain from when she bites a bit too hard feels euphoric, but there’s a special kind of ecstasy she’s yet to give you yet, “what do you want me to do, y/nnie?”

“y-yuqi, i need your fingers, or… or your mouth. please just whatever you’re willing to give me.”

“hmm, do you deserve it?” she asks, cutely pressing her index finger against her cheek.

you nod desperately, and apparently, in all the pleasure you were lost in, she pulled down your shorts, because immediately you felt a small lick against your folds that makes you flinch, “someone’s excited.” she murmurs, the vibrations and the feeling of her breath so close to you felt… amazing. it all felt so amazing.

“please stop teasing me,” you say, and she blows against your clit, making you jump, “h-holy shit!”

“i’ll tease you if i want to, my cutie. doesn’t it feel amazing? i’m so much smaller than you and you could probably get out of those restraints and overpower me if you wanted to, but you won’t, right?” you nod, “right, so be a good girl and stay still.”

you do your best to stay still, but your best is not very good. thankfully she seems to be in a forgiving mood because in a few minutes your moans get louder and your hands find her hair and move her head just how you need. you start to see stars as you’re pushed over the edge soon enough and she helps you ride out your orgasm before sitting up between your legs. she still has a innocent smile on her face despite what you both just did.

you move your hands down and she starts to undo the belt. you sigh from the pleasure still sparking through you, “here, give me a minute, i’ll take care of you too.”

she shakes her head, “save it for another time. there’s some water on the nightstand. do you need anything?”

“no,”

“then i’ll get going,” she says, and as much as you want to reach out for her to stay with you, you don’t, and she doesn’t, “this was fun, y/nnie.”

and then she’s gone.

#g idle #(g)idle #(g)i dle #gidle #gidle x reader #gidle imagines #gidle yuqi #song yuqi #song yuqi x reader

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catspluscrows · 4 years ago

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ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴍᴇ ꜱᴛᴜᴅʏ? | ʜ. ʏᴀᴄʜɪ x ꜰ. ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

Pairing: Hitoka Yachi x Female Reader (Daichi x Sugawara is also there)

Request: Yes >No

Warnings: This is a girl x girl. If you do not like it, leave.

Category: A little angst but mostly fluff

Note(s): Yes, I do feel like Sugawara is the type to say things to somewhat pressure his lover (Daichi) into doing stuff. Like “Oikawa and Iwaizumi finally got married. I wonder when we will get married. Hopefully in this life Daichi,” and you can quote me on that.

**This is taken from my Quotev, as this is my writing. Haikyuu characters do not belong to me, however, this writing does. Do not repost without my permission please.

* * * * *

“She’s just so adorable and my brain turns to mush whenever I see her and-”

There you go again. Making up excuses as to why you can’t tell your honest feelings to your friend and co-manager. Here you go speaking with doubt like you've been doing for the past week.

To be completely honest, Hinata was sick of hearing all of this. Hinata, unamused by you feeding him excuses, says “If you love her you need to tell her!” It sounded much more dramatic than what you thought was necessary but you don’t say anything. Your mouth only closes in silence, knowing he’s right.

You’ve been lucky so far. No boys have been able to swoon Karasuno’s latest new manager but you were worried they just might. Though she’s been getting more and more pests trying to get closer to her since she accepted the manager position. You were in a similar position but you had your sights set on her despite the overwhelming chance she won’t feel the same.

“Why can’t you tell her Y/n-chan?” Hinata asks as he gathers his belongings. You’ll be heading to the gym as soon as this period ends. “Are you scared? You’re never scared!” The ginger says confidently. In the several years he’s known you he’s never seen you back out of anything before. Even when you developed a crush on him years ago, you told him without hesitation. In response he smiled and told you he didn’t feel the same and you got over it. Without even running away from him during the process.

Hinata would describe you with one six letter word: strong.

You’re the strongest person he knows. The way you stand your ground no matter where you are, who you face. It’s the thing he admires most about you.

Not even Ushijima made you back down. When you, Kageyama, and him bumped into him for the first time you didn’t back down. You challenged him with your gaze and Hinata could swear the 6’2 ace was uneasy from your intensity.

So how can a girl 4’11 make you lose all confidence?

“Hinata-chan, you don’t understand.” Pushing your books into your bag, you sigh. “I’m not scared.”

“Then why can’t you just say, “I love you” to her?”

Gripping the straps of your bag tightly, you stare at the balls of paper at the bottom. You attempted to write your feelings to only waste notebook paper and hours of sleep. Saying them wasn’t a success either, as you’d always be interrupted by the team or your own mistakes. Nothing seemed to work. It was like the world itself was trying to discourage you.

“I just can’t! Okay?!” Frustration controls you as your voice raises. Luckily most students were already racing out of the classroom.

Hinata stopped moving at the shrill noise leaving you. He only stood still, shocked. Another thing he’s never seen from you: shouting. Even when he had gotten you sick by not cooking his cookies all the way you hadn’t yelled. Back when he was pushing you on the swings and you fell off and broke your nose you didn’t even cry. All you asked for was a band-aid and a hug.

Now he looks at you stunned and though he hates to acknowledge it, hurt. He’s hurt you’re letting your feelings stop you from being yourself. He’s hurt you’re taking the stress of being unable to say something out on him.

“Hinata, I’m sorry-”

“I’m going to practice.” The male only says as you reach out to him. Instead of him grabbing your hand like normal, he runs.

Hinata ran from you.

In that moment you can almost feel your heart shatter at seeing him like that. Tugging your bag off the back of your chair and throwing it over your shoulder, you sprint after him.

You have to fix this.

* * * * *

“What’s wrong with Hinata?” Kageyama asked you when you ran into the gym with heavy pants. “Not like a care!” He quickly adds as you throw your bag into the corner of the gym. A yell from Sugawara courses out about you not throwing things around that aren't volleyball. You ignore all of their chatter, focused on Yachi.

Once you reach her you see she’s filling water bottles next to Kiyoko. Her and Kiyoko had just finished talking about something that left Yachi’s cheeks a pale pink. That only further your own nerves, wondering what they said while also thinking she looks more adorable than normal.

�� “Yachi!” You yell, hoping volume can mimic confidence.

“Y/n-chan?” She asks a little confused, thinking you weren’t coming today after what Hinata had grumbled upon entering the gym.

Gulping, you shout, “Help me study?!”

By now the entire gym was watching as your screaming was hard to ignore. Some with amusement like Nishinoya and Tanaka, while others with a groan like Tsukishima.

Though a certain pair of eyes pierced into your skin.

“W-what?” The blonde questions nervously. “Tutor y-you?” Nodding aggressively, Hinata looks away with a disappointed exhale. Here he was thinking you’d finally do it.

“Please,” You add politely. Now some of the eyes were back to practice but a lot were still trying to find out what’s happening between their young managers.

Yachi looks down sadly. “I...can’t.” She finally says and you feel your heart drop to your stomach. At seeing your crushed expression Yachi frowns. “With tutoring Kageyama and Hinata and being a manage-”

“No! It’s okay!” Quickly you cut her off, as hearing her reasons will only make you sadder. She stops talking at you shaking your hands in front of her. Not before muttering another ‘I’m sorry’. To respond you smile and say, “No sweat. Let me help you with the water bottles.” ‘

“Thank you.”

* * * * *

That day you decide to stay late. When Daichi notices you putting away the ball bin instead of Sugawara he decides to ask if you’re doing alright.

“You seem a little off, are you alright Y/n-chan?” Shaking your head, Daichi takes that as an invite. He takes a seat against the wall and you join him once you lock the storage closet. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m gay and not okay.”

Daichi may have never heard something so relatable before. Instead of saying what he was thinking “Oh same,” he says, “Can I help you with that...or?”

“The world doesn’t want me to be with Yachi.” You exhale while leaning against Daichi. In your eyes he was like a brother you didn’t have so it wasn’t weird when he patted your head with a chuckle. Though it did confuse you. “What’s so funny about my lesbian problems?”

“The world?” He asks through a laugh. “The world made Hinata short but he still plays as a middle blocker.” The captain mentions your orange haired friend making you look down. He was already handicapped by his height when he began his volleyball journey. And still he moves forward.

He’s so much stronger than you.

“The world kind of sucks sometimes.” Daichi admits. “But the world is also amazing too. The world let you meet Yachi, right?” He asks and you nod, smiling.

Getting up, you grin. “Thanks Dadchi! I know what I need to do!” You take off before he can question your pronunciation of his name.

Sprinting past the boys walking home, you hope you can catch up to Yachi before she’s gone. The crazy stares from the boys you pass don’t faze you. Nothing does as you run as fast as you possibly can, wanting nothing more than to tell Yachi your feelings before you combust.

“Yachi!” Once again you’re screaming her name. She looks back to see you, hands on your knees while pants escape your mouth. Not much different from you bolting into the gym earlier.

“Y/n?”

This time you speak without hesitation. What was there to hesitate about? You know how you feel. It doesn’t matter if you say it with a stutter or all the confidence in the world if she refutes you.

“I love you.”

It’s such a cliche feeling you have. Like the world has stopped in anticipation for her answer. In reality a train buzzes by and the sky darkens, proving you aren’t special enough to be singled out by the world itself.

Yachi doesn’t say anything. Inside it kills you but you only rise to your full height, trying to keep the straight look on your face.

“I love you.” Again you tell her. There’s an obvious blush on her face that you can see through the pitch black of the night. The lamp post flickers erratically, allowing you to only sometimes see her wide eyes and parted lips.

Waiting for a response is killing you.

“I n-need to go.”

You watch her begin running, wanting to get to her train so she can go home and calm down her racing heart. You do the opposite and just stand there. Only your mind is racing now. Your heart has nearly stopped at those words.

Have you been rejected? Does she never want to see you again?

Doubt spirals inside your mind as you finally start walking again. You’ve gotten so focused on finding Yachi you lost your way, not knowing where you are and which way to go. Though it hardly mattered anyway. Your body and heart were sore. All of you felt like it needed a break.

A break is of course not what it gets when you hear a familiar voice. “I guess I know why you didn’t want to tell her now.” It was Hinata coming from the opposite side that Yachi ran off to. “I’m sorry I pressured you.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

He takes a seat next to you, setting his bike next to the short wall you were seated on. Letting his legs dangle forward, Hinata takes a glance at your face.

Eyes shut, mouth pressed into a flat line, eyebrows knitted down. You were trying to keep your composure. To not completely break down in front of your childhood best friend.

Trying to stay strong.

“You can cry.” Hinata finally says once your eyelid twitches. “That doesn’t make you any less strong, you know that right?” When you don’t reply Hinata moves to wrap his arms around you. The gesture is kind but it breaks you. Hinata feels something cold fall on his shoulder, dampening the fabric.

“I knew she wouldn’t like me.” You speak through your tears. “I don’t know why I’m such an idiot. Thinking she’d possibly like a girl like me,” Your fingernails dig into Hinata’s thigh as you grip onto him. He bites his lip to not focus on the sting from your nails in his leg. “I’m a damn fool.”

After that insult Hinata pulls away from you, grabbing your hands to slap yourself with them. You can’t get mad at him if he slaps you with your own limp hands.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that!”

You stare at him in shock, not expecting him to raise his voice at you. After a couple seconds you look down again, tears still falling onto the ground between your feet. “How else am I supposed to speak?” You ask, sadness laced with each word. “Yachi doesn’t love me. How am I supposed to feel?”

“I don’t know.” Hinata replies honestly. “But don’t beat yourself up about it.” He stands up, jumping onto the wall so he’s taller than you. “If I beat myself up about every time I’m blocked I’d only feel sad and not improve. Sadness makes you stronger!” Hinata tells you with a smile. “And you’re already the strongest person I know!”

You cry harder at the compliment as you don’t feel strong now. A minute passes of you sobbing and Hinata sitting by you, holding your hand. Once a couple more pass you feel a lot different. Like his words just needed a couple minutes to soak into your hurt body.

As you get up you tell Hinata, “Thank you so much.”

* * * * *

Walking into practice is awkward the next day. Practice is awkward for those who have no idea why Kiyoko is making an effort to keep you and Yachi separated. Practice is especially awkward for those who are missing context.

“I’m fine.” You lie with a grin. “I don’t need you two to try and keep me away from Yachi.”

Kiyoko and Hinata look at each other before both shaking their heads. “You’re only saying this because you’re in too much pain to admit to it!” The ginger excuses while Kiyoko says something to practically agree.

“I think this is for the best.”

“No!” You shout but they’re back to being your body guards, keeping you several paces from Yachi. All you want to do is actually talk to her, make sure she doesn’t like you. Closure was the best thing.

Tsukishima looks over Hinata as he talks to Yachi, allowing you to walk into the storage room to get something with a roll of your eyes. This is ridiculous and Tsukishima knew it too. “What are those idiots doing?”

“Don’t know.” Kageyama said while drinking water. He’d notice the tension too and it’s suffocating him more with every set.

“I heard Y/n likes Yachi and Yachi doesn’t like her back.” Yamaguchi says between small sips of water. It seems like Yamaguchi always knew the drama on court and off of it.

The two boys look at him as he innocently drinks water. Who knew Yamaguchi was that kind of gossiper?

“Interesting.” Tsukishima said while setting down his water bottle.

Kageyama, doing the same, only groans. “I just want to play volleyball.”

“No. It’s interesting because Yachi likes Y/n.” Tsukishima explains and Kageyama stops in his tracks. Seems like this drama attracted his attention after all.

“What? How do you know?” Kageyama asks, doubting the blonde.

Yamaguchi takes his water bottle out of his mouth to say, “Because Yachi just asked Y/n to talk to her outside.”

“Oh shit.” Kageyama mutters while still trying to deny he’s not enticed in this newly learned drama.

“This can’t end well.” Yamaguchi pipes in.

“Unless it can.”

* * * * *

“I’m sorry for not giving you a clear answer.” Yachi begins quietly. “I’m a little nervous.”

Nervous? That word got your hopes up more than it should. But...maybe she does actually like you back? This may just be a misunderstanding. And here you are getting your hopes sky high.

“I can actually help you study. If you still want me to.” The girl speaks and your heart stills. Of course it’s about you asking for homework help. Not about your love confession. “I lied when I said I couldn’t before. Because I was scared to be alone with you for so long.”

No! Does that mean she sees you as intimidating? Sure, you know you’re a bit passionate and loud at times, but that doesn’t make you scary? Having her be frightened by you is worse than her not loving you!

`“I was scared, because I-I love you too.”

The oxygen in your lungs seems to be ripped away as you see her face blossom into a deep red. Crimson like your own cheeks, she looks up to see your reaction.

From you she gets a dopey smile and a pink face. From Hinata, however, she sees you get jumped on by the middle blocker.

“Finally! Yes!” The boy cheers as he holds his body on your back. With his arms on your shoulder and his laughter in your ear, he celebrates your feelings for Yachi being reciprocated.

“Would you look at that,” Sugawara says with a hand on his hip. “Those two finally got together.” He says while looking at you holding hands with Yachi, Hinata squealing in happiness. “I wonder when a certain someone will finally ask me out.” The male begins and Daichi feels himself shiver, knowing he’s waiting for them to be an official couple like you and Yachi.

Asahi sets a hand on Sugawara’s shoulder. “Daichi can ask you to marry him tomorrow. I don’t think my heart can handle all this in one day. Especially when the those two are so cute together!"

The three first years watch as you and Yachi walk towards them with your hands intertwined, smiles on all three of your faces. Hinata is smirking because you at last told each other your feelings.

Yourself and Yachi smiling because she'll be doing more than just helping you study now.

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cathyparrlyn · 5 years ago

Text

We’re all just mirror shards

_________________________________________________________

Hey everyone! It’s No One here, or perhaps you now know (if you have read a certain lovely, beautiful, baby tief’s post) that my name is Maddy. It’s great to finally post this next part, first update of 2020! Woo!....

Yeah, I know, it’s been a while. I’m sorry for that, but not only am I working on future chapters and a special writing project (some of you might have already heard about it, oops-), but like, school. Ugh. But don’t worry, I have plenty of content to give you guys, so I shouldn’t fall too behind with my updating schedule!

I want to shoutout two people today. First off, one of my writing friends, @justonemoretheatrekid who is super sweet and has helped me with my bi panic, so thanks friendo! I enjoyed chatting with you! :3

I also want to give a special thanks to another one of my writing friends, @toomanyfamdom for not only helping me edit this sucker (legit the only reason I was able to post today. Bless her soul for putting up with my comma crazy piece.), but also for being the sweetest and best baby in the world. She makes me a proud mama. :3 love you baby! And thank you for not joining in on the “(censored name) for the pole” chant. I know how much you like to troll me tho, so I guess will see what happens next time. Lol. <3

Also, good news and bad news!

Good news! This chapter has the “read more” option! Bad News! It cost me all the pretty and colorful fonts. ;-; Also, it won’t let me edit my draft from my iPad now as I did the function on the computer. So like... I can’t fix it. :(

So now I have a dilemma. Which should I use, the read more function or the colorful and pretty fonts? Please reply down below if you have a preference. Anyways, enough with my long ass author note!

Without further interruption, the chapter! Woo!

Word count: about 2,212 words.

Warnings: Cursing, bullying. (Also, Anne being a useless lesbian gremlin and Cathy being a bi disaster. OWO UWU)

Enjoy~

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Part 11

Annie Boleyn

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…………………………………......Recap………………………………………

“Sorry about that, I’m just so fucking tired of bullshit,” Anne muttered, snapping Cathy out of her thoughts.

"Huh?"

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Cathy was a dumbass. She had to be. How else could she have fucked up so badly with her words? They were her thing! But with Anne, all she could muster up to say was ‘huh?’ Huh! Ugh, she just can’t with herself right now.

What’s worse, this is serious. Anne looks like she needs someone to talk to, Cathy can be that person, but not if she’s a disaster.

Parr wants to be there for Anne. She craves to develop their relationship, for them to get closer. To be able to share inside jokes and small smiles with each other. To have long conversations and calling each other late at night just to rant because they know the other will listen. For the comfort of knowing that she does, in fact, matter to Anne.

Right now she felt farther away from her goal than ever. Looking up, she saw an indescribable look on Anne’s face, the only thing she could note was the fear in Boleyn’s eyes as she held herself. An uneasy feeling washed over Anne as she realized she might have said too much around Cathy. She was nervous. Cathy couldn’t believe it. Anne was scared of her own opinion, and that worried Parr. Boleyn was speechless, not knowing how to respond. It was painful to see this side of her. Yet Cathy couldn’t help but stare. This new side drew her in, and Parr couldn’t stop herself from questioning more and more about who Anne really was. And what could have possibly happened to the Boleyn girl to make her feel so mortified that she couldn’t even express her own feelings.

Now Cathy was scared. She couldn’t just stand there and wait Anne recover on her own. No, Catherine wants to help her, she needs to help Anne.

So with a deep breath, Cathy had made her decision to keep moving forward with the conversation. She refused to make Anne start things, this time she’ll make the first move. For Anne’s sake.

“Hey, are you alright? I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”

“No, no. It’s stupid, just, please. Forget about it.”

Cathy felt as if she was stabbed in the heart after hearing that statement. Anne was amazing, smart, talented, and said some of the most interesting things Cathy has ever heard. And here she is now, saying that her feelings are stupid.

Cathy doesn’t know who made her feel like this, but they are going to pay for it. Yet, that is for another time, right now Cathy has to focus on comforting the Boleyn girl.

“Hey Anne, we’re friends right?”

“Well, yeah, I would like to think so.” Anne tentatively mumbled. She expressed a blatant insecurity that Parr would reject the idea. But why?

Parr wanted to further analyze this side of Anne and try to figure out what might have happened to her, but she couldn’t. Not right now, when Anne needed a friend. No, especially now since Anne needed a friend, someone to be there for her, to reassure her things were okay. That is what Parr needed to be right now. Her friend.

Cathy smiled, bumping their shoulders together. Hence, grabbing Anne’s attention as Parr stared at her with a look that Anne wasn’t used to seeing: patience and love. With a gentle squeeze reminding Anne of their connected hands, Cathy let the Boleyn girl bask in the show of affection. Anne deserves to enjoy this moment, to feel comfortable with her own thoughts. What’s more, she deserves to have someone to listen to her. Cathy can very well be that person. All Catherine had to do was prove that she would and could be there for her. So she spoke up, determined to help Anne no matter what it takes.

“Then there you go. Your opinion matters to me, Anne. As your friend, I don’t think this is stupid. Not one bit. So please, don’t feel afraid to talk to me. You have a wonderful voice, and I truly think it should be shared with the world.”

Cathy observed as Anne stared at her in shock. A blush formed on Parr’s cheeks as she noticed a sudden change in the Boleyn girl. Tension had quickly left Anne’s face and was now replaced by a small, soft, genuine, and breathtaking smile. Really, Cathy could go on about the beauty of Anne’s smile, but she was rather focused on something else. It was way more important than her feelings. Gratitude, that’s what Anne’s expression conveyed instead of the fearful look she wore mere seconds ago. Anne gently squeezed Cathy’s hand back, returning the affection as she pulled Cathy in so they could be in closer proximity. The action cause both girls heart to race as they were lost in the moment, staring at each other in a comfortable, knowing silence. Both were thinking the same thing.

She does see me.

Finally after taking a few deep breaths, Anne was the first one to break the silence.

“Thank you, that… that really means a lot Cathy.”

“Of course Anne. Do you, um... Do you want to talk about it?” Cathy gingerly asked.

Anne looked down as she contemplated what to do. After a few seconds of thinking it over, she slowly nodded her head.

“Alright, I’m here to listen whenever you ready.” Parr, acknowledging that she was looking down, squeezed Anne’s hand again. Cathy hopes it would reassure Boleyn that Parr planned on being there for her. Seeing that Anne had mustered up the courage to look up at Catherine and start her explanation, Cathy thinks it’s safe to say that it worked.

"Ok, so, our generation is stupid, right?” Anne started off.

“100% agree, continue please.”

“It’s just, no one cares about others' stories. Make believe or real, every story matters. Yet we cast them aside and hold an egocentric viewpoint that mentally and physically tears others down. And I’m so fucking sick of it!”

“Of the kids in the halls?” Cathy hesitantly asked.

“Of basically everyone! They all piss me off! Like, no one even understands why I read, the majority of those people don’t even think I can read! I’m nearly eighteen, for Christ's sake! How would I be in an advanced English class if I couldn’t read?”

“I don’t know, kids are stupid.”

“I know, but… you’re the first person to understand this and believe me…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Anna won't shut up about how I can't do math, Kitty doesn't like poetry and always whines about me speaking ‘gibberish’ when I rant about it, and the rest of the school thinks I text shit like, 'dat waz fun' smiley face, winky face, kissy cat." Anne rolled her eyes. "It's just..." she pursed her lips, then looked at Cathy and gave her a small smile. "It hurts after a while, y’know. So it's extremely refreshing to finally talk to someone who appreciates writing."

"I totally get that." Cathy nodded.

"Really?" Anne stared at her as if she had two heads.

"Yeah... actually, at my last school, I was teased for reading so much," Cathy elaborated honestly. She doesn't know why, but she felt a need to tell Anne this. It was as if that Boleyn girl elicited a strong desire for Parr to talk about herself. She wanted to know all about Anne, and for Anne to know all about her.

Even if it was about her embarrassing loser past. It's not like she can escape it, only accept it and move forward.

"What the hell is wrong with this generation? That's stupid!" Anne groaned.

Well, at least Anne agreed with her about the matter.

"They called me novel nerd," Cathy bluntly stated.

"... Fucking Alliteration." Anne said after muttering what Cathy assumed was French swear words. She then pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah." Cathy bitterly laughed.

"Want me to fight them for you?" Anne offered, holding her fist up and pretending to punch the air to show she was being serious.

"No, but thanks... it's just like you said earlier, it's nice just to be comfortable enough to talk about these things with someone and know that they respect it." Cathy smiled at her.

Anne lifted Catherine's hand up a bit and gently stroked it.

"Cath, I got you." The gentle action caused Cathy to blush. Anne then looked up with a spark of mischief. "Let's run away to live in a library."

Cathy couldn't help but let out an unlady-like snort. A bit embarrassing, yes. But luckily for Catherine, Anne adored it. She couldn't stop herself from adoring it even if she tried.

"Sounds like heaven." Parr grinned, finally managing to calm her laughter.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds in silence, but after those few seconds of silence, they burst into a laughing fit.

Catherine then looked up at Anne. Something caught her attention about her suggestion. The way she referred to something, or rather, herself.

"Cath, Huh?" She raised an eyebrow, looking Anne over in a teasing manner.

It's time for some playful payback.

She noticed how Anne flinched, and for a quick second, looked embarrassed, but it quickly washed away and was replaced by her usual confident expression.

"Oh, yeah. I just think it's cute and, um, it suits you. Is it alright if I call you that?" Anne asked.

Cathy couldn't stop the dorky smile that was spread across her face. Just hearing Anne give her a nickname just like how she had given one to Katherine, warmed Cathy up inside. She was growing closer to Anne each second and her interest for the girl continued to grow.

"Sure, but only if I get to call you nicknames too!" She agreed.

"Go for it, you got two slots."

Catherine pondered for a second. What should she call her?

Catherine couldn't help but giggle at the first thought to come to mind.

"Okay, first one has to be gremlin."

Anne's smile dropped and her eyebrows furrowed.

"You know what Cath? Fuck you." She huffed, a small pout was plastered on her face. Ergo, causing Cathy to burst into a giggling fit.

After a few seconds of giggling and admiring Anne's pouty face, Cathy managed to calm down.

"Okay, um... Next is.... hm."

It took Cathy a few seconds as she looked Anne up and down. She didn't actually need to check the girl out, she just wanted an excuse too.

The action, however, had caused Anne to blush.

Then it hit Cathy. Her lips quirked up at the idea for what to call the Boleyn girl. Sure, it was simple, but so was Cathy. So it’s fine. No, Parr will do one better.

It was perfect.

"Annie," Catherine said, squeezing Anne's hand and beaming at her with a warm smile.

Anne's happy expression fell after hearing that. Cathy noticed the change in expression.

"Um, is everything alright?" She asked.

"H-huh? Oh, um, yeah. It's swell." Anne nervously looked away.

Cathy stared at her worried, but Anne refused to show any sign of pain. Instead, she just gave Cathy a fake smile and avoided eye contact.

There it is again. The change in expression, the change in tone, the change in the atmosphere around her. All of these changes thickened the air and added to the mystery of Anne Boleyn.

Who was she?

Just a second ago, she was all bubbly. But with just a single name, she instantly became a timid sheep. She wore nervous, wide eyes that were surveilling the surroundings as if she was watching out for a predator, fearing for her life. However, the only other person there was Cathy.

She did that. She did this to Anne Boleyn. She doesn't know how, nor why, but she did it. An god, did it feel awful.

Cathy could only do what she thought was right at the time, to check on the girl.

With a gentle squeeze initiated by Cathy, Anne's eyes slowly looked up. Her breathing was a little heavy and her face was a calm, serious. Cathy's anxiety grew with each lurid second passing. Finally, after making it all the way up the excruciating trail, Anne's eyes met Cathy's.

For a brief second Cathy swore she saw the corner of Anne's eyes filling up with tears, and her skin was slightly paler than usual.

But it disappeared in seconds as she hastily swapped her expressions, as if she was trying to hide something. She... she was trying to hide herself.

Anne had put back on her mask, yet it was too late.

Her perfect image had already broke in front of Cathy, not that she planned on telling Anne that.

So with a heavy sigh, Cathy acknowledge that she needed to do something.

"Anne I-"

"Stop it. There's no need for that." Anne interrupted her in a cold tone, yet she still had a "smile" plastered on her face.

"Huh?" Cathy looked at her confused.

"Really Cath, I'm fine." She muttered loud enough for Cathy to hear her.

Cathy knew that wasn't the case. It most certainly wasn't the case at all. Cathy wanted to convey to Anne that she knew this, and that she wanted to help her. She wanted to stop right there, tell Anne it's okay not to be okay, perhaps even give her a hug.

But she didn't know Anne. They weren't close. Anne said it herself, they just met recently. And although Cathy was connecting with her, Anne might not be as into it. She doesn't know. Boleyn is still a mystery to her, one she has yet to uncover.

So how could she break through Anne's mask? She didn't have the right because she doesn't know her. At least, she doesn't know her yet.

"Okay. If you say so...." she reluctantly dropped the subject.

Mark Cathy's words, she'll read Anne's backstory one day. Cathy might cry, she might laugh, hell, she might not know what to think. But she knows that she'll be there for Anne when the time comes.

Until that day comes, this is all she could do for now.

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Tag list: @sarahzarahh @annabanana2401 @lesbabe6 @aveasorae @qnneboleyn @whenallthestarscollide @its-totes-gods-will @canadianharrypotter @epitomeofchaoss @obliviousasheck @heeleys4feeleys @liliocelotepremium @six-is-awesome @thatbolxyngirl @toomanyfamdom @the-queen-bee-is-here @a-slightly-cracked-egg @thatonedisaster-gay @aywdaimie @thegaywhokindalikesmusicals @everything-insanity @babeebobo @one-time-i-jumped-off-a-cliff @wicked-books-101 @33o9 @agustjnk @i-really-dont-use-this-anymore Please reply if you wish to join the tag list or if your username changes so I can update the list :D

#parrlyn #parrleyn #anne boleyn #catherine parr #katherine howard #anna of cleves #jane seymour #catherine of aragon #six the musical #wajms #cathy is a bi disaster #Anne is a useless gremlin lesbian #I Just can't anymore #these two are the center of my UWUniverse #sad bi hours #Its going to get angsty soon

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mollymauk-teafleak · 5 years ago

Text

Help Wanted (chapter two)

Huge thanks again to @minky-for-short and @spiky-lesbian! Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3 if you can!

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Chapters: 1 | 2

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Anyone who came into the Blooming Grove cafe and smelled the unmistakable scent of a freshly baked cherry and strawberry pie would probably think that was nothing but a positive. That the busy chef must have been in a particularly good mood, to fill the small space with such a fresh, sugary and all round lovely scent.

Beau knew better however.

She hadn’t puzzled out the reason why but she knew that cherry and strawberry pie was something Caduceus only made when he was stressed out. She’d smelled it a lot during his shaky first few months, when no one was really sure if the cafe had a future, before people realised the special kind of magic Caduceus imbibed it with that made people feel so at home when they were inside it’s walls. She also smelled it whenever Cad came into work holding a letter, always the same paper, always the same handwriting though she could never make out any words.

And she wouldn’t. She wasn’t a snoop. She just didn’t miss much.

Though she was pretty sure it had something to do with the very large family Cad would talk about often but whom she never saw visiting or calling or anything. Just those letters, one every few months, that would send Cad into a stress baking haze churning out pies but he’d keep it in his apron pocket like he was scared to let it out of his sight.

But today there was no mystery to why there was suddenly a slice of thick, red oozing delightfulness being set in front of her, dusted with sugar with fruit like shiny garnets. It was because of Fjord.

Beau smirked and dug in with her fork, watching Cad zip back and forth across the cafe like an anxious bee. It was just him and her in the cafe right now, it didn’t open for another two hours. Lucky she woke up so early to do her tai chi in the park with her girl. Well, one of her girls. Getting Jester out of bed before ten was a triumph, Yasha was much easier to coerce.

“If you clean up before he gets here, your new assistant ain't going to have anything to do,” she pointed out, around a mouthful of fruit and sugar.

Caduceus jumped guiltily, “I’m just...just doing odds and ends. I want to be able to show him around.”

Beau wasn’t sure how true that was. Everything about Cad except his words showed how unsettled he still was with the idea of being a two person team.

She rolled her eyes and jabbed her fork at him for emphasis, “Look, we know this place is your baby. We know what it means to you. So we absolutely would not have suggested Fjord if he wasn’t going to be perfect for the job! He’s obsessed with being competent, he’s chill with taking orders, he’s a people person, annoyingly organised, fuck this pie is really good, did you do something new?”

“Touch of balsamic vinegar,” Cad said absently, scratching at the little pink wisps of a beard that grew in when he didn’t trim it, “I’m not saying I don’t...he’s your friend so I want him to be my friend too, I’ve got every faith he’s a good guy but…”

“But you’re nervous,” Beau picks the words up for him, “And that’s fine. But you’re going to give this a shot, get used to it, see that it’s a great idea and everything will be fine. Seriously, I think you and Fjord will really get along.”

Cad’s ears flattened against his head and his eyes were big and doubtful, “I’m not so easy to get along with…”

Beau frowned at that, about to protest, when the bell above the door rang out, the door pushing back almost shyly, like it was scared into interrupt. And then there was Fjord, looking slightly more sunburnt and grizzled than he had the last time Beau saw him, dressed in the same ratty hoodie he used to have back in high school. His hair was in the same style, still short and shaved underneath, though part of it had turned white and he’d clearly not been cutting it while on that ship of his. Though he’d found the time to file his tusks down, they were barely visible.

“Hey man!” Beau jumped down and rushed to give him a quick hug and sock him in the arm, “Look who washed up ashore…”

Fjord laughed, aiming a punch in return that she dodged easily, “Well you’ve not changed at all. Such a shame. And this must be Caduceus…”

Beau turned to make her introductions and explain why the scruffy salt smelling individual was the hard worker she’d promised when Cad’s face stopped her. His ears were bolt upright now, jaw a little slack, a very obvious blush even under his grey fur. And his tail was whipping from side to side at a million miles per hour.

Beau smirked, pleasantly surprised. This was starting to look like a two birds, one stone situation.

“Yeah, it is. Fjord, meet Mister Caduceus Clay.”

You’re acting like a teenager.

Cad had told himself that half a hundred times in the last hour and it wasn’t doing any good. His heart was still going like a Madagascan sunset moth finding a grove of Omphalea plants, his face was ridiculously warm and he was going to have to tuck his tail into his dungarees if it didn’t stop or he was going to break a mug.

Yes, Fjord was handsome. Almost ridiculously so. Now he’d acknowledged that, he could move on and refocus on the extreme anxiety he’d been nursing since yesterday that his cafe was going to collapse and he’d broken all his promises to himself and he’d have to go back home with his tail between his legs. That, at least, had been productive.

“Okay, so this is where I keep all the flours,” he continued, showing the half orc around the kitchen, “I, um...I haven’t labelled any of them because I just had them memorised, I’ll fix that…and I’ll have to write down the recipes they go with too, I just memorised those as well…”

Fjord seemed a little alarmed, “Um...yeah, that would help, I think.”

“Have you ever baked before?” Cad asked, leaning against the stainless steel surface, nicked and scaped by years of use.

Fjord sucked on his lower lip, “Well, I know how to make ship rations taste semi okay? But I don’t think that counts as baking.”

Cad had to chuckle, “No but it does sound like a useful life skill. I’m kind of aiming for a higher caliber than ships rations around here.”

“I’ll say, that pie Beau was eating looked to die for.”

Cad felt his ears pick up, “Oh would you like some? I made, um...five this morning. No reason, I just felt like it.”

He was already moving before Fjord could answer, putting a slice on a nice plate, plenty of cream. His new assistant did look distinctly skinny, like he hadn’t been eating properly. They’d need to sort that out.

Fjord seemed bemused at the sudden appearance of a dessert, smiling crookedly, “Thanks! Looks really good.”

“So maybe I’ll focus on the food prep for a little while and you can handle the front of house until you get more comfortable in the kitchen,” Cad tried not to look like he was hovering, waiting eagerly for Fjord’s reaction to his food.

He wasn’t disappointed. Fjord’s eyes widened and he grinned, showing a pair of filed tusks Cad hadn’t noticed before.

“Wow! This is amazing!” he had the most lovely accent, from somewhere in the South, twanging and drawling in places, wandering like a hard to follow path, “I must say, I’ve never eaten anything as nice as that!”

You’re acting like a smitten teenager, stop it. Stop blushing!

“I don’t know about that,” he cleared his throat, tangling his hands in the strings of his apron, “But you’re very kind to say so.”

“I think I’m gonna like working here,” Fjords’ grin was lopsided and full of cheek, just as a dashing pirate’s would be. Then suddenly it faltered, like a curtain had ruffled in the breeze and revealed something completely different, scenery turning out to be nothing but a backdrop on a stage, “I mean, if you’re going to hire me.”

Cad found himself smiling, something stirring in his chest, something separate to the silly crush that had landed so suddenly in his lap, “Any friend of the Nein is my friend too. And I think I’d quite like to work with a friend.”

Fjord tilted his head to one side, looking delighted, “Y’know, that sounds mighty fine to me too.”

Cad’s fur puffed up around his neck, like it did when he was happy. Or startled.

“Yes! Okay, I’ll take you through the plant care schedule. That’s probably the most important thing.”

Fjord looked like he didn’t understand, eyes drifting over all of the greenery in the place. Even in the kitchen there were succulents in the window, the ivy running through the ceiling and the myriad of fresh vegetables and herbs in the greenhouse out the back door that Cad had managed to cram in their tiny courtyard (with a little magic assistance).

“Plant care? Don’t you just...water them?”

Cad started at him for a heartbeat then burst out laughing, Fjord’s expression only getting more confused.

He was going to enjoy it. But it was going to be hard work.

They were halfway through their first day as a two man operation and things were going rather well, as Cad was sternly telling whatever flickers of anxiety still flitted in his chest.

He was in the kitchen, gloves of flour and water pasted up to his elbows, rolling out rough into podgy rectangles. His ears flickered and tail swayed in time with the music, but his ears were listening to something else. Fjord’s voice, still a little jarring to hear when he wasn’t used to it, out at the counter, taking orders and calling them out. He flirted shamelessly, he charmed, he joked and laughed. Beau had been right, he was a people person. Cad had no doubt the tip jar would be bursting at the seams when he next checked it.

“Hey, Caddy!”

Cad turned from his dough to see Fjord in the doorway. His spare apron was clearly too big for the half orc, nearly touching the floor, but he hadn’t had time to make one for him. Tomorrow, he’d do it, now he knew his size.

Even so, with a cloth poking out from the pocket and a pad of paper in his hand and a little pencil behind his ear, Fjord almost looked like he belonged.

“This nice lady’s asking for chamomile and apple tea,” he called over the chatter from the customers beyond, “Whereabouts would that be?”

Cad gave an apologetic smile. Another thing that was apparently unlabelled were the nearly hundreds of tea tins that sat in haphazard rows, making the place look like an apothecary. Something else he needed to do. And maybe he’d actually have the time to now.

“Third shelf down, fourth tin from the left,” Cad closed his eyes to picture it, just to make sure he got it right. Some of the things in those tins were more...experimental blends. He couldn’t imagine them going down very well.

“Gotcha,” Fjord flashed him that grin again, “Thanks Captain.”

“I told you, you don’t have to call me that,” Cad called after him, laughing.

You really, really need to stop.

But the strange thing was, the voice was getting quieter every time. Part of Cad was wondering why he had to stop at all. Wasn’t this part of the reason he’d left the grove- the actual grove? He’d wanted freedom, to see how it felt to be Caduceus rather than just a Clay. He’d wanted some control over his own life and choices.

Maybe there were some choices he hadn’t even known he’d get. Possibilities he hadn’t considered.

Now Cad was smiling as he rolled out his squares of focaccia, ready to sprinkle with cracked pepper and salt and herbs. He’d make an extra for Fjord to take home, maybe he’d like that. Suddenly he wanted to know everything about him, his tastes and likes and dislikes, what he did in his spare time, what he looked like just out of bed.

He was definitely acting like a smitten teenager in the spring. But he didn’t think that was such a bad thing now.

The rest of the day went alright. There were bumps in the road, of course. A tray of croissants got burned when Fjord lost track of himself bussing tables but he was incredibly apologetic and offered to remake them. Not that he had the first clue how to shape them. But maybe Cad could show him?

But it had been an incredibly busy day of rare sunshine and clear skies and Cad didn’t feel like he was running on empty at the end of it. That was certainly a success of some sort.

Members of the Nein had been coming in ones and twos all day to yell in delight at the sight of Fjord, home again. It was nice to see, a missing piece coming back to where it was supposed to be, fitting in like it had never been away. It sat a little melancholic in Cad’s chest, for a reason he was very aware of but didn’t want to think about so he’d pretend he didn’t know. But then he’d get swept up in it, Jester or Molly or Veth bringing him over to share in the happiness and he would feel so much better.

Those had been bright spots in the constant tide of conversation that flowed through the Grove. And now Caduceus was wiping down the surfaces in the kitchen, Fjord out front handling the last of the customers, mostly people swinging by to pick up something for their dinners. The light was heady and orange again, all the light and none of the warmth as the end of the day brought cooler breezes than before, chasing away the lingering heat.

And Cad’s ears picked up again as the conversation changed, as Fjord’s voice changed from the customer service voice he’d easily slipped on that morning. And Cad followed eagerly, only realising when he got to the doorway of the kitchen that there were no members of the Nein left to come see Fjord.

Instead there was an elven woman behind the counter, immediately stunning in appearance with her fountain of red curls, impressive even with them tied in a knot at the nape of her neck. Standing there she seemed so sure, effortless, her posture somehow arrogant and challenging. She was dressed in sea colours, a long scarf wound once round her neck and loosely draped over her shoulders like a snake and her hat would have been ridiculous on anyone else who didn’t wear it with such simple confidence.

Cad’s ears picked up at their continued conversation, Fjord speaking. From behind, he seemed tense, like something had set him on guard.

‘You don’t have to be a jerk, Avantika,” Fjord was saying, “I actually had a really good day. I think I like working here.”

“Well,” the elf’s voice was liquid gold, her accent very different from Fjord’s, “It’ll do. We’ll get you back on the waves soon, dear. No need to convince yourself.”

“I’m not…” Fjord’s voice hardened but then he seemed to decide it wasn’t worth it, letting go, “I’m going to close up then I’ll be back at your place. Thanks again for...for letting me stay.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, dear,” the woman seemed to always have other words lurking behind the one’s she spoke, “Don’t be too late. I’m not in the mood to wait up.”

“Right,” his reply was short and clipped, still in the tone of not wanting a fight.

And then he leaned forward, over the counter, and kissed her. Not a long kiss and Fjord’s shoulders stayed tense but there it was. And Cad fled back into the kitchen.

“Remember, don’t be late,” he heard her reply and the click of boots on the wooden bloor, the bell ringing out her departure.

Fjord came in a little while later, apparently not noticing that Cad had been wiping down the same four workbenches for nearly fifty minutes.

“Okay, that’s eight,” he said brightly, like the exchange had never happened, “Gonna teach me how to clear up?”

Cad looked up, his smile thin and tired, “You know, I think I’ve filled your head with enough today. We can cover that tomorrow, why don’t you head out early. I can take care of things here.”

Fjord paused, looking a little dismayed, “I mean...if you’re sure? I really don’t mind.”

Cad cut across his gentle protest before he could talk himself into staying, “It’s only your first day. I’m not looking to scare you off already. Go on, get a good night’s sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

Fjord blinked, nodding slowly, “Right. Okay...um, thanks, Cad.”

Cad gave a nod and a non committal wave, turning back to his work.

“I really mean it,” Fjord unwound the ties of his apron, tied in the front just the way Cad had shown him, “I had a great day today and I learned a lot. Thank you.”

Cad made himself look up, really look at Fjord, standing in his kitchen doorway, flour on his sleeves and hair pushed back awkwardly with a bandanna. And he smiled, softer this time.

“You’re welcome, Fjord. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Looking happier, Fjord grabbed the bag he’d come in with and gave him a wave, heading out. And Cad still watched, still smiled. And he felt like an idiot.

I told you so.

#teahaw #fjorclay #pining #coffee shop au #slow burn #modern au #critical role #cr: fjord #cr: caduceus

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ruoyeming · 5 years ago

Text

My Top Ten Anime, a chaotic list

This was so hecking difficult, I’m gonna have to do some ‘honourable mentions’ for ones I can’t bring myself to leave out. This list is based entirely on my personal feelings, not an objective assessment of what are logically the best anime. There also may be mild spoilers at points because I can’t control myself. Doing this in quarantine cause I looove ranting about things I like.

10) Attack On Titan

This was the first anime I ever watched, and it blew my mind a bit tbh. The music is iconic, and the animation is great as well. It might have been a bit harrowing for my first experience with anime, but I absolutely loved the story. It’s set in a world where titans (man eating giants) have driven the dregs of humanity to live within giant stone walls. There’s a group of humans trying to research titans, kill them, and protect humanity, and the main character decides to join them after a titan breaks through one of the walls and his mother is eaten. It’s one of those where you think you know everything and suddenly the world gets turned upside down by a new discovery. All the puzzle pieces start fitting together the longer you watch, and you find out that everything going on is much bigger than what it originally seemed (government conspiracy time lads). The plot twists are unpredictable (for me at least) and devastating, and the emotion this series evokes is awesome - you can FEEL the sheer desperation of the characters, their rage and despair as they fight again and again against a seemingly unending enemy. Despite almost every battle being a suicide mission and despite too many losses, the characters keep going out of the human need to survive and protect.

10/10 for brutality and gore, but also theme of hope.

9) Naruto

A founding father of anime. Surprisingly not one of the first I watched, in fact it took me a few years to start. It’s set in a feudal Japan where ninjas are the defenders and servers of the people, and different villages have different ninja styles. Naruto is a young boy with a dangerous spirit sealed inside him which has caused him to be shunned by society (even though it’s not his fault??), and he wants to become a ninja. First off I’m a sucker for the Naruto archetype: dumbass, cocky, obnoxious, but kind and loyal too. Years of solitude and ostracisation as a child mean that Naruto desperately wants people to acknowledge him, and he intends to become the Hokage to prove himself. There’s a huge range of characters and villains, all with cool ninjutsus and different philosophies. Friendship, power, and determination are some of the main themes and it makes me so proud to see my son *COUGH* Naruto progressing and learning from his mistakes. It IS a long boi though and I haven’t even finished Shippuden yet, but I think Naruto captures the essence of shounen anime and is a great underdog story. Manga is lit too.

10/10 for cool battles and great characters.

8) Psycho Pass

One of the earlier anime I watched, and it became an instant favourite for the way it makes you question morality. It’s set in a kinda dystopian future Japan, where a technology called the Sibyl System checks people’s mental state and determines their ‘crime coefficient’ - how likely they are to commit a crime. The main character is a young woman who joins the police and begins to realise that blindly following this system is perhaps not the best way to go about things. For example, they have special guns that automatically kill people whose crime coefficients are over a certain level, but she soon proves that you can easily lower someone’s coefficient by talking them down and negotiating instead of killing them off immediately. It’s got great drama, great government conspiracy, compelling villains, and some really badass characters. It pushes the question of what is right or wrong, and how far technology should go when it comes to justice.

10/10 for sociological debate and horror elements.

7) One Punch Man

OPM is an anime that stands out for me, partially for mocking the tropes of battle anime, and partially for the uniqueness of the main character’s predicament. It’s set in Japan where heroes and villains exist, and the protagonist is a man called Saitama who gained superstrength after doing 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a 10K run every day. However he’s become so strong that he can defeat every enemy with a single punch. Nothing is a challenge for him anymore so he becomes depressed and unfulfilled; he’s still a good man who helps people, but he feels he’s missing something from his life. A cyborg called Genos makes Saitama his master, determined to learn his ways and they become friends. It’s one of the first anime that made me laugh out loud; it’s funny and entertaining, but also shows us that power is not equal to happiness.

10/10 for moral lessons and good jokes.

6) Tanaka-kun is Always Listless

The only slice of life anime on this list and not very well known, however it has a special place in my heart. The main character Tanaka is a boy who dozes off constantly and acts exhausted when awake; he loves expending as little energy as possible. His best friend Ohta looks out for him and essentially makes sure he doesn’t get lost/ be late/die on a daily basis, including carrying him when he just falls asleep sometimes. Although Tanaka seems uncaring, it’s shown that friendship isn’t a bother to him, and he realises that he actually relies on his friends despite saying he likes being left in peace. His friends all have great personalities, my personal faves are a tough gangster girl who’s rude to everyone EXCEPT her adorable loli girlfriend, and a popular girl who’s trying too hard to fit in and starts to become more herself after befriending Tanaka. All the characters share one brain cell, and it’s genuinely a funny anime - I’ve burst out laughing watching it a few times. Also Tanaka and Ohta are extremely shippable if you want to go down that route; it’s said several times in the series that they’re like an old married couple.

10/10 for wholesomeness and comedy.

5) Ouran High School Host Club

Another lighthearted show, probably the anime that’s made me laugh the most out of any. It’s set at an academy for rich-as-heck kids, and there’s a ‘Host Club’ where all the girls go to drink tea with a group of handsome boys. There’s the cunning Kyouka, prankster identical twins Hikaru and Kaoru, stoic Mori, adorable Honey, and princely but obnoxious Tamaki. Haruhi, a working-class scholarship student who is mistaken for a boy, accidentally breaks a precious vase and is forced by the host club to join them to pay off her debt. The group of boys realise fairly quickly that haruhi is a girl, but she becomes a popular host amongst the girls (LOVE the secret lesbian vibes) so they keep up the charade. I think I have a weakness for groups that share one brain cell because aside from Kyouka, they’re all idiots. I also love how flexible the show is with ideas of gender and sexuality despite being a slightly older anime. The daily antics of the host club combined with their personalities is a recipe for comedy, and they’re all lovable in their own ways.

10/10 for characters, drama, and comedy; it’s well-paced too.

4) Bungou Stray Dogs

Set in an alternate modern Japan where some people have secret abilities that can be activated, this anime became an obsession when I first watched it. The cast of characters is amazing and the villains are awesome too. Atsushi is an orphan who discovers he can turn into a powerful tiger, and is hired by the Armed Detective Agency, a small organisation of powerful individuals who fight crime. NEED I SAY ANY MORE?? Many of the main characters share names with famous Japanese authors such as Osamu Dazai and Ryūnosuke Akutagawa which is really cool and something that might add to the story more if I had an understanding of Japanese literature. Anyways the main character Atsushi is kind of a wimp at first (understandably because the world of ability-users is actually terrifying), but he learns to stand up for himself and use his ability to save people. The show’s mixing of dark and comedic tones is perfect to me; one moment a character is off his head on mushrooms and the next Atsushi’s leg is brutally sliced off in a back alley fight (it regenerates later no worries). The plot is really cool and full of intrigue, and eventually you get the whole ‘Usually we’re sworn enemies but we’re forced to become allies in the face of a greater evil’ thing and it’s great! Turns out our main guy and our main bad guy are actually a pretty powerful and efficient team, hoho??

10/10 for supernatural detectives being super cool.

3) Yuri!!! on Ice

Y’all already know what’s going on. Ice skating, emotional breakthroughs, gay shit, HIT ME WITH IT. The story follows Yuri Katsuki, an insecure figure skater trying to regain his confidence, and his self-appointed coach Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is enthusiastic in helping Yuri train, and Yuri has been a big fan of Viktor since his childhood *throws pillow across the room*. Yuri becomes determined to, quote, “surpass Viktor’s wildest imagination”, and they end up agreeing - through a series of convoluted events - to get married if Yuri wins gold at the olympics (I think it’s the olympics??). Either fuckin way this series has angst, humour, cuteness, and god DAMN did I get invested. When Yuri was doing his free skate my own heart was beating harder than it did when I finished a 10K. Love the vibes and also it’s the closest to full healthy gay representation that I’ve seen in anime for a while. Not much more I can say, but do I really need to say more???

10/10 for GAY and MY HEART

2) Kimetsu No Yaiba (Demon Slayer)

Ok this one’s kind of a cheat cause I’ve read the manga as well which is way ahead of the anime, but FUCC. It takes place in the Taisho Era in Japan (begins 1912), where Demons exist who eat people. Tanjiro Kamado’s family is killed by a demon one night and his sister Nezuko is turned into a demon - but it is soon discovered she’s different to other demons, and can restrain herself. Tanjiro joins the Demon Slayer Corps to try and track down a cure for his sister, while proving that demons are not inherently evil. I LOVE Tanjiro as a main character because he values kindness over everything else, not forgiving demons for their sins but recognising they are tormented creatures, trying to give them peace before they die. All demons were once human - a fact that only Tanjiro seems to remember when fighting them. He’s patient, gentle, and determined - hotheaded and brash sometimes, but he has this vibe that just makes people become his friend/respect him even if they don’t intend to. He befriends two other slayers - Inosuke, an absolutely feral Best Boy who was raised by wild boars, and Zenitsu, a cowardly but ultimately loyal guy. This trio works really well together and Tanjiro is a great protagonist. Don’t even get me STARTED on the music and animation. Impeccable. Kamado Tanjiro No Uta makes me cry every time I hear it, and the water/fire effects used to show the metaphorical way the swords move like the elements takes my breath away.

10/10 for morals, music and animation.

1) Mob Psycho 100

Where the fuck do I start here. This anime is so unique in its style, story, and characters that I think it will always be my favourite. It follows Shigeo Kageyama (nicknamed Mob cause that’s what they call extras and background characters in Japan), a plain boy with incredible psychic powers that explode when his emotions are too high. Over time he’s learned to suppress his emotions, causing him to become socially inept and emotionally withdrawn. His (fake) psychic ‘master’, Reigen, uses him to make money exorcising spirits, making Mob believe that it’s for ‘training’. Mob appears naive at times, but he is so simply kind to people that it makes my heart hurt. Unlike many of the egomaniac psychics that Mob comes across, he recognises that without powers, he is just an ordinary boy. Mob’s greatest power isn’t his OP psychic abilities, but his power to show people they can change, that he can change. He forgives (and eventually befriends) people who have tried to kill him. Redemption and empathy are big themes here and they’re done really well.

The other characters are so well rounded and are also given time to grow, including Reigen - at first he’s a seemingly manipulative sleazebag, but later you see that he is a genuinely good man who has taught Mob many lessons and helped him grow up. This is a core message - Mob’s ability to change is due to support from his friends, not purely his own desire - people need other people!

This is also one of the true rarities in anime where the second season is absolutely just as good (if not better!) than the first one. The music is unique to the show, the ops for both seasons get me litty, the animation is incredible, the jokes are great and although it’s not all about big-ass fights, when we do get a big-ass fight it’s so fucking cool. The fight sequences are beautifully animated and visually stunning. MP100 makes me laugh, cry like an actual baby, and want to become a better person. Idk I could literally write pages on it like the big nerd I am but that’s all I’ll do for now.

10/10 for literally everything.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

Given : about a boy who joins a band which helps him work through his trauma. Lovely healthy gay representation and themes of healing.

Samurai Champloo : ragtag trio consisting of two samurai - one lowkey feral and does breakdancing, the other lofty and withdrawn - and a bold young girl. Themes of friendship and journeys. I simp for the lofty samurai.

Cowboy Bebop: jazzy music, bounty hunters in space, 90s anime WHAT MORE COULD U WANT. Yet another group of characters that share a single brain cell. Love it.

#anime review #anime recommendation

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takaraphoenix · 5 years ago

Note

Dr who for the ask game

Thanks for playing! This is also a big, fun one! :O (I do love that the majority of these asks hit target on my own biggest obsessions x3 We checked off like all the live action shows at this point, I think, the only things left are anime/animated xDDD)

Again with a cut due to the sheer size. ^^°°°

Top 5 favourite characters: CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, The Doctor, Yasmin Kahn

Other characters you like: Rory Williams Pond, Graham O’Brien, Mickey Smith, Bill Potts, Sarah Jane Smith, Craig Owens

Least favourite characters: Rose Tyler by a landslide

Otps: not realy any actual OTPs but ships I guess I’m fond of would be Vasta/Jenny and Rory/Amy

Notps: every ship involving the Doctor, because I just honestly find it weird and uncomfortable to look at the Doctor as a romantic or even worse yet sexual being, but most of all Doctor/Rose and Doctor/River, also Jack/Ianto

Favourite friendships: I am living for the current team dynamic, 13-Yaz-Graham-Ryan are really good but my forever favorite is the Doctor and Jack, also the best team-up was the Doctor with Donna and Martha, that was perfect

Favourite family: THE FAM! 13′s team

Favourite episodes:oooh mmh, I do have multiple favorites, so let’s do this!

Blink: it is such a good episode, there was a time I just popped that one in when I had 40 minutes to waste

Utopia/The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords: for me personally, this is where Doctor Who peaked. My absolute favorite storyline and episodes and team-up - my favorite Doctor with BOTH my favorite companions in an episode with my favorite Master as the enemy. Amazing. There was a time when I would regularly rewatch this, just these three

Turn Left/The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End:Suuuch a satisfying conclusion for a four series plotline, all of the companions coming together like that? It was so good

The Lodger & Closing Time: I love Craig and I love how these two episodes switch things up!

Favourite season/book/movie: Rather obviously, series 3 - the return of Jack, the series where Martha is the companion, a series with my favorite Doctor and four of my favorite episodes in it!

Favourite quotes:THE ANGELS HAVE THE PHONE BOX! xD And the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff! I got that one on a necklace even! *laughs*

Best musical moment: uuurgh the soundtrack of this show is actually so good? I listened to it on a loop for years. Series 3 and 4 being my favorites, they make you feel things, man.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: Just this series when Jack returned. And let me elaborate to just convey how hard I fangirled at that, because it wasn’t just “oh a fave!”.

You see, Jack is... kind of why I’m here? I watched the first series with my mother back when it started airing in Germany. But they kind of... stopped dubbing it and it stopped airing in Germany and eh, I was okay with it because this show seemed weird like they just switched out the actor of the MAIN CHARACTER who does that what the fuck and I really liked Jack but he was gone now too so oh well.

However, then I read online about how Jack was in series 3. So... I went online and Doctor Who is genuinely the first TV show I ever watched in English, because I wanted to see Jack but there was no dub.

Then series 3 ended and both Jack and Martha left and I was very meh because I remembered that this is the show that constantly replaces its whole cast.

You can probably guess what happened next, but Jack was in the finale of series 4. So I went back into Doctor Who, rewatched what there has been so far all the way up to the series 4 finale - and that was when I was sold, because holy shit even with the switching of companions, they just bring them back! They just brought them all back! That was such a good pay-off.

Ironically, that was when I actually stuck around and started watching the show in real time instead of waiting for the next Jack appearance to bring me back from hibernation. Ironically because - well, that was the last we saw of anyone. (Aside from 10 in the 50 year special.)

That hard, hard cut from 10 to 11, no return of any companions...

Needless to say that when 12 came and went with no care for anything pre-11, I kind of... came to accept that this was it. Especially when they announced yet another hard cut - as in Moffat would finally be replaced and with the new era, both a new Doctor and new companions - I was so sure we’d never get to see anyone from the old crew again.

So when, after literally ten years, Jack Harkness returned and was so... so... Jack, I made the loudest, most unholy sound and the excitement of them actually acknowledging that he would be back for more and he would be there when the Doctor needs him? Tears of joy.

(but aso pls #LetMarthaMeet13 okay? Okay)

When it really disappointed you:YOU’RE MAKING A 50 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL. YOU HAVE SOOO MANY GOOD COMPANIONS. BUT. BUT YOU BRING NONE OF THEM BACK. ONLY ROSE TYLER’S FACE. OF ALL OF THE FACES. OF EVERYONE I COULD HAVE SEEN AGAIN IN THAT SPECIAL, IT HAD TO BE BILLIE PIPER’S MEDIOCRE ACTING. REALLY? REALLY??

Saddest moment: When 10 regenerated

Most well done character death: Surprisingly enough, this show makes me care even about the one episode characters to the degree that I find their deaths frustrating. It’s pretty good at character deaths overall

Favourite guest star: Does Craig Owens count? Because he only had two appearances in total. And the second one was genuinely a surprise to me; I was sure that The Lodger would be a stand-alone, never to be seen again kind of deal

Favourite cast member: John Barrowman! David Tennant! Freema Agyeman! I love all three of them and seeing them in other things always makes me really happy!

Character you wish was still alive: I mean, Bill. Can you imagine if the lesbian companion had gotten to meet 13?? Death :D

One thing you hope really happens: Martha. I mean, come on. Jack is back, Jack warned the Doctor, promised to be there when needed. There’s no way Jack lost contact with Martha and Mickey, even with those two off in space fighting aliens alone. I’d love for this... very, very big plotline that is currently happening to include the Doctor’s old friends coming back once more to help.

Most shocking twist: I mean... I mean it’s gotta be this series’ Surprise Origin Story. Like, I still can’t quite comprehend that one.

When did you start watching/reading?: As mentioned above, when it first started airing in Germany

Best animal/creature: Does the TARDIS count as a creature? Because then Sexy wins!

Favourite location: THE TARDIS. I wish they’d show it more often just casually. I wanna see the companions hang out in there, I wanna see their rooms, see that indoor pool and stuff

Trope you wish they would stop using: "OH NO THE DALEKS ARE STILL ALIVE AFTER THE LAST TIME I TRIED GENOCIDE ON THEM *gasp*”... Like. The very first time they brought them “back from the dead”, it was really cool because as a newbie you never met them before but you get they are important. Then they were wiped out. And then they returned again. And okay, sure. So they were wiped out again. And miraculously survied again.

Look, I get it. Doctor Who has three recurring entities in the villain gallery who are like... obligatory - the Master, the Daleks and the Cybermen. But for the love of everything, stop trying to show it as a “surprise twist” that the bad guy is a Dalek like we all knew they’re coming they’re the cockroaches of the universe, they ALWAYS surprise, stop acting like we should be shocked that they’re back again.

Every time, the Doctor goes Pikachu meme but with sad eyes and like just... have the Doctor groan, kick a Dalek and go “not you again”, instead of “how did you POSSIBLY survive THIS? :O” because after the sixth miracuous survival of a genocide, it stops being a surprise twist... -_-

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Clearly something, because it has me come back for more like a masochist despite me being a character-driven viewer - me, abandoning the show after the first series was very in character, because I’m attached to characters and if you routinely replace all the characters, that’s... not really my thing. Somehow, this show defies the odds there

Funniest moments: JACK FLIRTING WITH PEOPLE AND THE DOCTOR GOING “NO STOP THAT!” xDDD

Couple you would like to see: NONE. NO ROMANCE. KEEP THAT SHIT OUT OF MY DW!!! Urgh. Just give me fun found family space adventures. I swear ever since the cast announcement I have had a twitchy eyebrow waiting if they’ll push for Ryan/Yaz and so far I am sooo glad they are NOT. I just... want friendship and space adventures, no fucking romance. At all. Not with the Doctor, not between companions. No drama

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: ...to stay in character, I have to say Dominic Sherwood. Partially because I am obsessed with him, but also because I WANNA HEAR HIS BRITISH ACCENT FOR A WHOLE ASS SERIES PLEASE

I would also like to see the return of James Marsters though. Time Heist teased by showing his face and acknowledging his existence in Doctor Who (it’s not like DW has acknowledged a whole lot of Torchwood canon so far, considering the catastrophic events TW has dealt with without the Doctor...), so that had me kind of hopeful he may at least cameo for an episode...

Favourite outfit: I looove Martha’s red leather jacket and Jack’s coat

Favourite item: The chameleon device

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: *clears throat awkwardly* ...Yes?

a metro card holder thingy with the TARDIS on it,

an I pin I have on my pencil case,

a necklace with a miniature TARDIS,

a necklace with the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey quote in a swirl on it,

a necklace with a Weeping Angel pendant,

a mug with the 10th Doctor as a cat on it,

a lanyard with Police Call Box written all over and a miniature TARDIS dangling on it

a TARDIS dress,

a whoosh-sound making door opening TARDIS with size-fitting figures of the 10th Doctor, Jack, Martha, K9, Idris, 11, Rory and John Hart (it’s James Marsters’ pretty face, okay?),

a Funko Pop 10th Doctor,

another TARDIS but this one is smaller and can’t open,

a larger TARDIS that can open (and is the right size for my Doctor Whooves),

a Doctor Whooves (if that counts since he’s technically My Little Pony but also he’s the Doctor so like...),

a TARDIS-blue stuffed owl with Police Owl written on it,

the first four series on DVD,

a poster from the 50th Anniversary with the War Doctor walking away from an explosion and 10 and 11 on either side of him,

a pocket watch that is the chameleon device

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Mmmh I would like to be on the current team the most, I think? Generally speaking, their adventures were less intense than most others and I dig the family vibe

Most boring plotline: Boring, huh? There are always a couple stinkers, at least one in each series, but a really boring plotline was... Clara’s post-Impossible-Girl one. I LOVED her as the Impossible Girl, she was so interesting and I think that after she went into the Doctor’s timeline, the character should have been retired. Have her, I don’t know, dissolve there, since she is spread out through time. But that she stuck around was... not good, for her character? Her love drama with Danny was incredibly boring and not fun to watch (especially when she tried to kill the Doctor :D)

Most laughably bad moment: THAT FUCKING MOON EPISODE. THE FUCKING EPISODE WHERE THE FUCKING MOON TURNED INTO A FUCKING EGG AND AN ALIEN HATCHED TO THEN LAY A NEW MOON EGG IMMEDIATELY AFTER BEING BORN AND HUMANS JUST FUCKING SHRUGGED THAT SHIT OFF. Urgh. There are a lot of cringey things happening on this show, but this takes by far the crown. It was so stupid, so dumb, so ridiculous

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: Every time we learn more about the Doctor’s past *^*

Most layered character: I... I mean the Doctor. So many layers, so many lives, so many years

Most one dimensional character:Mh, this is harder... Among the not one-episode-off characters? I guess Nardole. Like, sure, good guy, but... not really all that deep that one

Scariest moment: Blink with the Weeping Angels. They lost A LOT of their scariness the more they were used - Moffat really overused them, in my opinion; they would have done better only appearing very rarely. But that first episode with them was just daaamn

Grossest moment: Cassandra?? Woman only made of skin?

Best looking male: CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS

Best looking female: MARTHA JONES

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Martha Jones

Favourite cast moment: John and David being cute behind the scenes is always amazing, but the bes moment is definitely the 500 Miles video!

Favourite transportation: The TARDIS, that’s not even a question!

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): Whenever we get to see (not destroyed) Gallifrey? It’s so gorgeous??

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:SO MANY AFTER THAT LAST SERIES. But also things like: Where did Clara fuck off to in her flying diner? What exactly is Jack doing now that there is no Torchwood anymore? How in the world did Torchwood ever even work like how was the Doctor just never around during these gigantic problems?? WHO WAS THE DOCTOR’S FIRST WIFE? And what was the Doctor’s child like? Because the only one ever even mentioned is the Doctor’s granddaughter Susan, but a granddaughter implies one more generation between. WHERE IS JENNY? Since she is also the Doctor’s daughter but also just fucked off into space and like why is she not trying to track her parent down??

Best promo: I mean, it clearly works when they show me Jack’s face so that’d be it for me :D”

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: At the series 4 finale, as above more elaborately explained

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

#Doctor Who #In-Depth Fandom Ask Game #send me asks #fantasylover16

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alexsfictionaddiction · 4 years ago

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Alex Recommends: May and June Books

I must apologise for the late arrival of this post. It should have been up days ago but I’ve been struggling to read much for the last month or so. My head has been very foggy and dark with all of the confusion, anxiety and hate that has been filling my news feeds and I’ve been filled with a desire to combat it. Before this month, I’d have run in the opposite direction from any kind of confrontation but recent events have given me the kick up the butt to actively do better. I’ve been calling out bigotry when I come across it and I’ve noticed that some people, notably my older relatives, haven’t necessarily reacted favorably to the changed, more outspoken Alex. It has been pretty daunting and I’ve worked myself up into fits of rage and tears several times over the last couple of months.

A lot of things have changed for me since my last Alex Recommends post. I’m currently temporarily living in Staffordshire with my boyfriend because my depression got too bad for me to stay at home for much longer. I missed him unbelievably much and I knew that spending some prolonged time with him would help -and it has. Both him and I have spent 12 weeks religiously following all of the rules, so we’re both extremely low-risk for catching and spreading COVID-19 and being together was something that we simply really needed to do. Please don’t hate me for it! In other news, I have also started writing again, which feels amazing. I’m now a few thousand words into a queer Rapunzel retelling that I have lots of ideas for. Maybe I’ll even post an extract or two, when I feel it’s ready to show you.

In the centre of the renewed energy of Black Lives Matter and the undeniable exposure of the horrors that is police brutality, the book blogging and BookTube worlds vowed to uplift Black voices. I wrote a very long, in-depth blog post full of Black-written books and Black book influencers. Please check it out to diversify your TBR and educate yourself on Black issues, which is what every white person should be doing now and always.

June was Pride Month and I tried my best to compile a series of recommendation posts in honour of it. These included gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, ace, pansexual and intersex lists. I’ve had some great feedback on this, so I hope you find some fantastic new reads. It felt especially poignant to put them together the same year that one of my childhood heroes came out as an ignorant trans-exclusive feminist. As a lifelong Harry Potter superfan and someone who has repeatedly publicly supported Rowling in the past, I feel the need to clarify where I now stand. I do not support or agree with a single thing that she has said in recent times with regard to transgender people. I’ve never felt my own status as a cisgender female threatened by trans people wanting more rights or believed that children or women were at risk due to their existence.

I read her words more than once and struggled to find any semblance of the woman who wrote the books that have most defined my life. I’m hesitant to say that we can always successfully separate the art from the artist but I will say that it makes sense to me that the Rowling of 2020 is not the same Rowling that wrote Harry Potter. She was a destitute single mother when Philosopher’s Stone was published in 1997 and of course, she is now a million worlds away from that lifestyle. It breaks my heart but it makes sense to me that she has changed beyond belief because her life has changed beyond belief. I’m not and never would make any excuses for her recent behaviour and I have stopped supporting her personally but I will not be getting rid of my Harry Potter books and I will undoubtedly re-read them several more times. However, I am now hugely reluctant to buy any more merchandise or special editions of the books, which saddens me but at the moment, it feels right. There is no coming back for her from this and I will make a conscious effort to keep Harry Potter and Rowling away from my future content. It can be really tough to admit that the people you once really admired aren’t great humans but it’s something that we all have to acknowledge in this case, in order to move forward with our own quests to become our best selves.

It didn’t feel right to post my May recommendations last month as I didn’t feel comfortable promoting my own content in the midst of boosting Black voices. So today I’m bringing you a bumper edition of Alex Recommends. Here are 10 books that I’ve enjoyed since the start of May that I’d love to share with you. Enjoy! -Love, Alex x

FICTION: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Set in the affluent neighbourhood of Shaker Heights, Ohio in the 1990s, two families are brought together and pulled apart by the most intense, devastating circumstances. Dealing with issues of race, class, coming-of-age, motherhood and the dangers of perfection, Little Fires Everywhere is highly addictive and effecting. With characters who are so heartbreakingly real and a story that weaves its way to your very core, I couldn’t put it down and I’m still thinking about it over a month after finishing it.

FICTION: Get A Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert

When coding nerd Chloe Brown almost dies, she makes a list of goals and vows to finally Get A Life. So she enlists tattooed redhead handyman and biker Red to teach her how. Cute, funny and ultimately life-affirming, this enemies-to-lovers rom-com was exactly the brand of light relief that I needed this month. The follow-up Take A Hint, Dani Brown focuses on a fake-dating situation with Chloe’s over-achieving academic sister and I can’t wait to get my hands on that.

FICTION: The Rearranged Life of Oona Lockhart by Margarita Montimore

Just before her 19th birthday at midnight on New Year’s Eve 1983, Oona Lockhart finds herself inexplicably in 2015 inside her 51-year-old body. She soon learns that every year on New Year’s Day, she will now find herself inside a random year of her life and she has no control over it. Seeing her through relationships, friendships and extreme wealth, this strange novel has echoes of Back To The Future and 13 Going On 30 with a final revelation that I certainly never saw coming.

NON-FICTION: The Five by Hallie Rubenhold

Atmospheric and engaging, The Five details the previously untold stories of Polly, Annie, Elisabeth, Kate and Mary-Jane -the women who lost their lives at the hands of Jack the Ripper. Full of fascinating research and heartbreaking accounts of what these women’s lives may have been like, Rubenhold paints a dark immersive portrait of Victorian London and gives voice to these tragic silenced lives. Although we can’t know for certain if these accounts are entirely accurate, they feel very plausible and in some ways, The Five exposes how little time has moved on, when it comes to the public portrayal of single, troubled women.

NON-FICTION: Unicorn by Amrou Al-Kadhi

From a childhood crush on Macaulay Culkin to how a teenage obsession with marine biology helped them realise their non-binary identity, Unicorn tells the story of how the obsessive perfectionist son of a strict Muslim Iraqi family became the gorgeous drag queen Glamrou. Packed full of humour, honesty and heart, this book will give you the strength and inspiration to harness what you were born with and be who you were always meant to be.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Super Miraculous Journey of Freddie Yates by Jenny Pearson

When fact-obsessed Freddie’s grandmother dies, he discovers that the father he has never met may actually be alive and living in Wales. So he has no choice but to grab his best friends Ben and Charlie, leave his home in Andover and go to find his dad! I laughed so many times during this madcap adventure and I know the slapstick crazy humour will hit the middle-grade target audience just right. It’s also a wonderful depiction of small town Britain with a focus on the true meaning of family.

MIDDLE-GRADE: A Kind Of Spark by Elle McNicoll

When Addie learns about her hometown’s history of witch trials, she campaigns tirelessly to get a memorial for the women who lost their lives through it. This wonderfully beautiful novel gives a unique insight into the mind of an 11-year-old autistic girl with a huge heart. Busting myths about neurodiversity while tackling typical pre-teen drama, you’ll laugh, you’ll cry but most of all, you’ll close the book with a huge smile on your face.

HISTORICAL FICTION: Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell

In 16th century Warwickshire, Agnes is a woman with a unique gift whose relationship with a young Latin tutor produces three children and a legacy that lasts for centuries. This enchanting, all-consuming account of the tragic story of Shakespeare’s lost son, the effects that rippled through the family and the play that was born from their pain will send a bullet straight through your heart. Wonderfully researched and beautifully written, Hamnet is worth all of the hype.

HISTORICAL FICTION: The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave

When a vicious storm kills most of the men of Vardø, Norway, it’s up to the women to keep things going but a man with a murderous past is about to come down with an iron fist. At the heart of this dark tale of witch trials, grief and feminism, two women find something they’ve each been searching for within each other. Gorgeously written with a fantastically slow-burning queer romance, Kiran Millwood Hargrave’s first adult novel is an addictive, atmospheric read with a poignant, tearjerker of an ending.

SCI-FI: Q by Christina Dalcher

When one of Elena’s daughters manages to drop below the country’s desired Q number, she is sent away to one of the new state schools and Elena is about to find out something she’d really rather not know about the new system. Packed full of real social commentary and critique of life as we know it while painting a picture of how things could be even worse (yes, really!), this pulse-racing, horrifying sci-fi dystopian gripped me from the first page and refused to let me go.

#book recommendations #recommended #recommendations #may #june #books #bookworm

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the-zodiacs-written-in-the-stars · 5 years ago

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Chapter 18: Angelique Lamour

You make a beautiful mermaid, you know.”

“What do you want, Tony? You only give out free compliments when you want something.”

Angel smiled into her mirror at the image of Tony standing behind her. The heterochromic model ran a hand through his hair and pouted at her. He was looking pretty good himself as a merman, with the various shades of purple adoring his torso and face, patterns of scales making him look completely different. Continuing to smile, Angel fixed her hair a bit. Most of them had been finished with make-up, but the shoot couldn't start without the star; Poseidon. So they were all currently waiting for the finishing touches on today's center-piece.

“I was hoping you had some hot guy you could set me up with”, sighed Tony.

“...Are you serious?”, asked Angel surprised and turned around in her chair. “You?”

Tony huffed and crossed his arms. “Look. I'm aware I'm an absolute catch and I have no problems batting my eyelashes at a guy and make him buy me a yacht. But that's all so... superficial.”

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Tony sat down on Angel's vanity, pouting at her. “Kit's been talking all about the cutesy little dates that Joss has been having with that hot lady doctor Laureen set them up with. So, I figured, maybe stop seducing rich guys who just want sex, maybe ask a good friend to set me up with someone they think is a good match. Congrats, you're the friend I chose because Kit is too much of a lesbian to even acknowledge that men could be dating material for others, she just wiggled her nose at me and glared in a very disturbed way. So. Set me up with a guy.”

Angel smiled at that and perked up a little. Tony was right, Joss had been happier in the past two weeks than Angel had seen them in a long time. Maybe if finding a date yourself isn't working, trusting a good friend can work. She was more than happy to help. Just to deflate a little.

“I... don't exactly know a lot of gay guys. Or, you know, guys on the gay-spectrum. Uhm. Would you say that like that? Like, bisexual and pansexual men”, elaborated Angel before pausing. “Actually no never mind I just had an absolute genius idea! Oh!”

She suddenly jumped up in excitement and got her phone out. Tony raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“Do not make me regret this, Lamour!”, warned Tony seriously.

Angel just giggled delighted while texting before holding up her phone and taking a picture of Tony. Look at that pretty face. Fancy a date with him? 28, professional model, hobby baker and artist at heart. He's a cutie! And you've been a sulking single for OVER a year now!!!

“Just you wait”, chimed Angel and pulled up a picture. “Look at this. Would want to date him?”

Tony made a drawn-out humming sound. “Cute. Freckles. Bit of a kitten-vibe and I'm more of a puppy-person. But sure. Nice to look at. Seems... familiar somehow.”

“He's my ex. Jamie, the pub-owner”, offered Angel, tilting her head.

“Mh. Business-owner”, whispered Tony. “Nice. Okay, sure. If he's on board, set us up for a date.”

Angel made a delighted noise at that, before someone cleared their throat next to them. Both models turned to look at Noxia Black. The photographer looked incredibly unimpressed, a glare on her face as she tapped her fingers against the side of her camera.

“If you two are done playing dating app, you're at work here”, grunted Noxia annoyed.

“Sorry, boss lady”, grinned Tony and Angel sheepishly.

“I'm not the boss lady. She is”, stated Noxia and jerked her head toward Sonia Gold.

It wasn't necessarily regular for Sonia to sit in on a shooting herself. Tony and Angel exchanged a curious look. Granted, this was a huge shoot for this campaign. Poseidon had first been presented as a competitive swimmer, showing off the swim-suit line-up together with other such sea deities. After the first big ads had been aired and plastered all over the streets, showing the athletic Olympic gods in Chiron Training gear, they now wanted to broaden the campaign and double down on the mythology. Poseidon presenting a gold-medal to an actual Olympic gold-medal winner, with the other models who played the Olympian gods dressed as mermaids and mermen surrounding them as bystanders. Angel absolutely loved the pitch for this one – and the costumes!

“Don't be bothered by the boss”, assured Sonia with one of her charming smiles.

Sonia Gold fascinated Angel. She was downright perfect. Always perfectly dressed, with no wrinkles on her clothes, not a hair out of place, make-up, shoes and jewelry always fitting the outfit. She was the perfect image of a business woman the way Angel had always pictured them.

“What can we do for you, Miss Gold?”, asked Tony, his smile matching hers.

He looked amazing with the silk wrapped around his lower body, his upper body painted purple and with scales. The only thing missing about his outfit so far were the contact lenses meant to make him look like a predator. Angel understood that; she hadn't put hers in yet. They always irritated her eyes so she'd rather wait until they were necessary.

“When I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking about the shoot and a piece of my private jewelry caught my eyes. I thought that it would work wonders with the costume-design for you, Angelique”, explained Sonia and opened her purse.

She got a black box out and opened it to show a breathtaking pearl-necklace to Angel. It was a three-strand necklace with pearls of various white and blue shades and different sizes. The biggest pearl at the front of the upper strand looked as though it had an H on it. How curious.

“This looks beautiful and expensive”, noted Angel softly.

“Oh, believe me, it is”, laughed Sonia. “You truly think I own a single piece of jewelry worth less than 50k? Sweetheart, please. I couldn't embarrass myself like this.”

“So when you say that, just... how much is this one?”, asked Tony slowly, motioning at the pearls.

“250k”, replied Sonia with a smooth smile. “So try not to lose it and return it to me later.”

“W... What? I can't wear this”, sputtered Angel flustered. “Sonia, please.”

“Oh, nonsense. I have over half a dozen pearl-necklaces”, dismissed Sonia casually. “I saw the design-pitch from Elizabeth and knew something... eye-catching was missing. This, this will do. I want this campaign to be perfect. Now, back to work, people.”

“You heard the boss lady. Back to work”, repeated Noxia louder. “Let's get this shoot started.”

~*~

Angel had a skip to her step as she walked the halls of Gold Standard, heading toward her best friend's desk. Joss looked deep in thought, hunched over their laptop. For Angel, who had come to the US from France, it had been strange to talk about a single person with plural pronouns because they were gender-neutral. That just did not naturally exist in the French language in the way English offered 'they' and ever since meeting Joss, Angel had come to appreciate this special thing about the English language. Because while Joss mostly preferred either 'she' or 'he', Angel was not a mind-reader and when not with Joss – which was generally the main instances when one used pronouns for people – Angel couldn't always know what pronouns Joss preferred that day, unless she had talked to Joss that day beforehand. Angel had voiced that confusion to Joss after the two had first become friends and Joss had encouraged her to use neutral pronouns then. Most working close with Joss knew and respected that. And some days, particularly when Joss was already stressed and telling people what they preferred was just too much work and too exhausting on top of everything, Joss just generally went with 'they'.

“Yo—ou look like you could use a cupcake.”

Smiling, Angel placed a cupcake with blue frosting in front of Joss. Blinking a few times, Joss looked up at her. After taking a bite from the cupcake, Joss offered Angel a small smile.

“Thanks”, mumbled Joss around the bite. “Sugar and food was exactly what I needed.”

“Wonderful. So that will make it easier to get details about your date”, stated Angel eagerly.

“Oh no. No. Don't”, groaned Joss. “Why are you so invested in my love-life?”

“Call me Amor, I seek love-stories”, chimed Angel. “Come on, please. You've been so busy lately, you and Sunny must be going on a ton of dates, right?”

Joss shifted a little and cleared their throat. “It was... very nice. Unexpected, to be honest. I've never been to a charity gala before. Gave me an excuse to wear that fancy cocktail dress you gave me for my last birthday. Savitri was... flustered and gaping at me. It was... a nice feeling?”

Angel giggled a little at that and sat down on the edge of the desk. “I like this new thing you have going on. With the smiling and the staring at your phone with a far-off look when she texts you.”

“Shut up”, grumbled Joss and tossed a piece of cupcake at Angel. “Did you just come here to torment me and interrogate me, or did you want something else...?”

“Yes, I wanted to go get lunch with you. And before that, I wanted to drop these off with Sonia again. They're... hers. She gave them to me for the last shoot.”

Her fingers played with the pearls. Joss narrowed their eyes at Angel. Some days, Joss presented as very feminine – with the hair, make-up, heels and wearing a skirt-suit. Angel had come to realize that the most strict of dress-code, pants and vest, when Joss would also be binding and usually had the hair up in a bun, usually meant that Joss was presenting as a guy that day. Angel, as a model, knew that clothes by far weren't everything. And then there were the more ambiguous days, or the days where even though Joss was feeling female, she still had no mind/focus/time to put thought into make-up or hair, so it was tricky to judge based on looks alone. Angel had to admit, it had fascinated her a lot at first – when she had come to Los Angeles, she had just been nineteen and only had a vague understanding of trans people existing, but a broader spectrum? She had tiptoed a lot and probably asked many inappropriate questions, but Joss had been very indulgent and patient. Which, Angel now knew, was really not something Joss had owed her and, the more often Angel saw it, saw people who did not understand anything about Joss' gender-identity, the more Angel understood just why. It really couldn't be Joss' responsibility to explain everything to everyone. Moments like those had Angel realize just how easy her life was, being CIS and also being straight. Well, the whole being pretty, white and from a well-doing European country also helped.

“Sonia is out on a lunch-meeting with Carroll Lewis”, informed Joss.

“Carroll Lewis? Like the CEO of Red Queen Records?”, asked Angel in awe. “Oh. I mean, I know they work together on many occasions, but... oh, basically all my favorite musicians are under that label. She has such a keen eye for talent, it's amazing.”

“Mh”, grunted Joss with that furrow-browed look.

“What? What is it?”, asked Angel curiously as the two of them left Joss' desk behind.

Joss led the way to the elevator. “I... have a bad feeling about her. Something about Miss Lewis is... peculiar. And not in the quirky, adorable way you are peculiar.”

“Hey”, huffed Angel with a pout. “I think I may take offense to that.”

Joss quirked their lips as they entered the elevator to make their way to get lunch.

~*~

They barely made it into Liddell's Sweets, by pushing past panicking people. Angel gulped and felt herself immediately pushed behind Joss. She stared wide-eyed over Joss' shoulder just to see the chaos. Costumers, turned to stone. Statues now. Behind the counter, a purple-skinned, scaled version of Laureen Liddell, hissing – no, her hair. Her hair was hissing. Her dreadlocks having come to life and turned into dozens of snakes. Angel squeaked high-pitched.

“What is that?”, exclaimed Angel.

“You need to get out of here”, ordered Joss seriously. “Now.”

“Oh, I am not leaving without you!”, stated Angel sternly, grabbing Joss' wrist.

Joss tried to wrangle out of her grip, but for someone as petite and dainty as Angel, the model really had an iron-grip when it came to protecting those she loved. Only around the corner did Joss manage to shake Angel off, but the blonde still stood close, glaring fiercely.

“What were you planning?”, hissed Angel. “You're my best friend, I won't have you throw your life away trying to save people when you are clearly not qualified! The police, or the local superheroes, are going to take care of this, I'm sure.”

Joss' lips thinned and their face hardened. “Angelique, this is not the time for arguments, this-”

Before Joss could continue with the preaching, a bright blue glow emitted from the pearl-necklace. Moments later and there was a... fish... floating right in front of Angel's face, bubbles – no, that was actual water but it looked like bubbles – floating along with the fish.

“Hello, I am Pisces. Please cease the quarreling, it is unproductive. That in there is Como Berenices, a powerful constellation under the element of fire. Her stare can burn the life away from a person. I am water personified. Pisces, leader of the water-signs. Best equipped to fight them.”

“I... I... The fish is talking. The fish is talking, Joss”, hissed Angel.

“So... Pisces has been laying around at Sonia's place unused”, whispered Joss wide-eyed. “Of course, she is not born under your sign so even if she found the pearl and thought it pretty, it was useless for her because the Zodiacs can only attach themselves to someone born under their sign.”

“What are you talking about? Zodiacs, like the superheroes?”, asked Angel surprised.

“But... You said that Sonia gave you the necklace? You, specifically?”, asked Joss, looking at Angel.

“Hello? Can we please focus on Coma Berenices in there?”, requested Pisces, flapping her fins.

“Yes, Sonia gave them to me, but... So, am I a superhero now?”

Angel looked from Joss to Pisces, completely overwhelmed. The little fish nodded and smiled.

“Close your eyes and concentrate on your costume and a weapon of your choice”, instructed Pisces.

Nodding, Angel did as she was told. She made a delighted sound when she opened her eyes again and turned to look into the window-front of the long-since abandoned store next to them. Most businesses around had already been evacuated thanks to the villain-attack on the café. She was wearing a strong, if her wishes had been fulfilled bullet-proof, shirt with frills running out looking like scales, her waistline highlighted like she remembered seeing mermaids in cartoons, the skirt light and wide enough to allow for good leg-movement. Her shoes were sturdy boots matching her shirt and her mask in color. Light blue, nearly cyan. Her lips were a darker shade of blue, matching the shells woven into her long, blonde hair. A braid was far more practical for fighting. And in her hand, she was holding a trident as long as she was tall.

“You look ridiculous”, whispered Joss softly. “How does a professional model have zero taste in fashion, I just... don't understand that...”

“How is that the reaction you have to me becoming a superhero and just... sparkle-changing into a new outfit! There is a flying, talking fish right there!”, exclaimed Angel frustrated.

Joss looked at her fondly before rubbing their cuff-links. A blinding, white light surrounded Joss and when it faded, they were wearing a gray cloak over a black and white checkered outfit. On their shoulder sat a black and white owl. But not like a snow-owl black and white, no one half was entirely black and, split in the middle, the other half was white. How... huh.

“This is Gemini, my partner. I've been... working in the shadows until I joined the Zodiac alliance recently”, elaborated Joss with a sigh. “Pisces. You sure it's a good idea to send Angel in there? She hasn't had a day's worth of training, not with her powers or her weapon.”

“Oh, please, dear”, huffed Angel offended, whirling her trident once. “You think I'd cook up a weapon I can't use at least some? I've learned to fight with a staff and I've actually fought with lances before, on horses, when I was working the medieval fair during high school. This? Can't be that much harder. Same principle, just got three points instead of one.”

“The important thing is: You need to concentrate. Your focus is your main weapon. If you focus, you can control water”, stated Pisces seriously. “How much and how far your reach is, that depends on just how well your grip on your concentration is.”

Angel locked eyes with Joss and nodded firmly. Together, the duo ran out from the alley and right into Liddell's Sweets. Joss immediately reached out to cover Angel's eyes. Right. Looked like Medusa, had the powers of Medusa, probably. When Joss removed their hand again, everything around them was foggy. They could vaguely make out shapes, but such a thing as actual eye-contact was impossible. Angel turned to look surprised at her best friend.

“Gemini is under the element of air. I learned to... work with that”, whispered Joss. “Make the air thinner, warmer, colder, thicker. Fog... is pretty easy. But now we have to stay alert.”

“Okay. So. What is this? I mean, this... thing... is... possessing Laureen?”, asked Angel confused.

“Sort of. Your power, your costume, your weapon, they come from a symbiotic bond with Pisces. This is... a more parasitic kind of bond”, replied Joss quickly. “We need to wash it out. In my experience, knocking them out severs the bond. An unconscious body can't be used. When they part, we have to collect the... pearl. Contain it. Got it?”

“Exhaust, wash out, take the jewelry. Simple enough”, nodded Angel seriously.

The hissing of snakes was the only warning before teeth sank into Angel's arm. She screamed and tore her arm away from the vicious Medusa-like monster that used to be this kind, sweet baker.

“If we hurt it, do we hurt her?”, asked Angel panicked.

“It... depends”, sighed Joss. “I don't know for this one. Some are capable of protecting their host.”

Angel stumbled over a petrified customer on the ground. Were they dead? Would they turn back? No time to think on that. Her head snapped up and she zoomed in on the bar.

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Can you distract her?”, asked Angel. “Buy me some time.”

“Sure. Be... careful, Pisces”, requested Joss concerned.

Joss kept their head down as they started fighting hand to hand against the alien symbiote in front of them. Angel hurried over to the bar, turning on the faucet, using everything she could find that was liquid – coffee, tea, even the water from the flower-vases on the table. Closing her eyes, she lifted all the water and aimed it at Laureen-not-Laureen. The snakes screeched as Angel surrounded them in a cocoon of water, causing Joss to immediately back off.

“Pisces. What are you doing?”, asked Joss loudly.

“You said passing out makes them part. So I make her pass out without hurting her. Well. Without hurting her too much. She just has to lose conscience. So. Shut up, because I don't wanna drown her and have to concentrate over here”, barked Angel out.

Joss looked honestly taken aback by that, but remained quiet after. Coma Berenices struggled, until she didn't and her form floating in the pillar of water became limb. A purple light faded from her and left Laureen, snakes turned back to limb dreadlocks. Angel immediately dropped the water, while Joss hurried over to give CPR. When Laureen was spitting water all over, Angel picked up the small marble. Purple and glassy. She blinked curiously and pocketed it.

“What... happened?”, asked Laureen, voice raspy.

“Nothing to worry about. You are safe now, random citizen”, assured Angel.

Joss raised an eyebrow at that, though they then urged Angel on to leave the café behind while the petrified customers slowly turned back human. The two made it around the corner before turning back to their civil identity. Angel handed the marble over to Joss.

“I'll take care of this”, nodded Joss, frowning. “But there are other things that worry me more. Sonia had a Zodiac, just like that. And then knew to give it to someone born under that sign. Then she happens to be out for lunch so you can't give a three-hundred thousand dollar necklace back.”

“You're... not suggesting that Sonia Gold is... involved with this, right?”, asked Angel worried.

With a head-shake, Joss sighed. “Come on. Let's go get lunch, Angel.”

Read here on AO3!

Previous Chapter <- || Masterpost || -> Next Chapter

#Story: Written in the Stars #Own Story #Pisces: Angelique Lamour #Project: Written in the Stars #Superheroes

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clothing-references · 6 years ago

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Happy National Coming Out Day

Mobile users, this is gonna be kinda long, scroll if you have to.

I hope everyone who's able to come out has/had a good experience doing so.

Trans people, never use unsafe binding tips and always be careful if you decide to bind because it could affect your body differently even if you use safer methods. Always know that your pronouns are respected here. Your body can change one day. Anything can change. You won't always feel trapped and you're also not required to feel trapped to be one of us. You already are one of us. And guess what? You can always change your mind and there is nothing wrong with that. But don't look at yourself like you're supposed either. You. Aren't. Broken. There is nothing wrong with you, love.

Nonbinary people!! You're included in the trans part above but I still want you to know that just in case! You are what you say you are, damn it! I don't have to understand what it's like for you. I respect you. You're a part of the rest of the community and you always will be. I think you're really neat.

Gay and lesbian people, what's up? I hope no one tells you to "convert." I hope you're loved and accepted always. I hope you know it's okay to only be into one gender and that you aren't mad at yourself for picking the same one. It's not the wrong one. Some people just appeal to you a bit more. You do you.

Pan/Bi/Poly+ peeps? I think it's amazing we all have our own neat labels. You don't have to pick a more popular one. And none of them are inherently transphobic. That's just silly. I like pan myself but bi people?? You're not evil for not doing the same. You like that term, that's cool with me. Also! When dating? You don't have to "just pick one." Why limit yourself to one very specific gender if you don't wanna? On top of that, you will always be what you say you are regardless of who you end up with. Your title belongs to you. There's nothing wrong with having your own definition for things. Words are made up by people just, go nuts. And remember that you're not bad. You're not kore likely to hurt people. You don't need to be saved. None of that hateful shit matters in the end, my buddy.

Ace/Aro peeps!! I love you!! Platonically, of course! But I love you! I'm sorry that some people gotta turn oppression into a contest and assume you're just straight people trying to be apart of a movement. That's so stupid. It's been confirmed that 1% of people just don't experience attraction the same way others might. If you're apart of that, then guess what? You've already been acknowledged by science. You've been acknowledged by the members of the community who accept you. And maybe that's still kinda hard... But you're slowly getting there. And I'm sorry if I have ever said anything or shared any jokes that hurt you. I'll admit it. I thought the jokes were okay. I didn't realize how fucked up that was. I'm personally sorry to any of you who have ever had the displeasure of scrolling by something I put up that was in such bad taste. I don't fully understand it. But I will always do my best to be a better person towards you and everyone else in the community. You don't have to be convinced or converted. You aren't broken. You are still a whole person. You don't need someone else to complete you, healthy relationships don't work that way anyways. You're just as valid as the rest of us and I appreciate you.

If I forgot something, it wasn't on purpose. I'm still learning about different people and identities every day and I am not intentionally excluding you. You all matter, my friends. Unless you're a MAP or NOMAP. That shit doesn't fly and this isn't for you.

Okay, sorry for the wall of text. I could say so much more but I'll leave it at that. Happy national coming out day. Stay safe. Love yourself. And only come out when you're ready. It won't be any less special just because you picked a different day for it. I love you guys. Let's keep lifting each other up, okay? Because fighting is giving the homophobes, terfs, aphobes, and hateful ass peoplein general what they want. Let's not do that.

#not clothing related #admin post #national coming out day #coming out #lgbt+#lgbt pride #lgbt community #lgbt positivity #lgbtqa+#long post #long reads

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tescodisxo · 6 years ago

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(1/?)WARNING: LONG ANON ASK AHEAD! (sorry if there's a ton of grammatical errors, I wrote this really fast inbetweeen finals) I'd like to tell you my story and ask for your advice. I really need to get this out of my system, this is something I've never talked to anyone about before so please bare with me... I was best friends with a girl for over two years. Her name was Mae and she was beautiful and smart and quirky and funny and sweet and amazing. And I was so freakin in love with her.

i’m going to put this under a read more, so bare with me ;-;

(2/?) But I never said anything. We spent every waking minute at the hip, we hung out after classes and on the weekends and slept at each other’s places almost every night. We were really close, not just socially but emotionally and physically as well, we were super playful with each other and sometimes people joked that we were like a lesbian couple. Even if we weren’t together together we basically were, I just had to try to stop myself from wanting to kiss her all the time.

(3/?) We were in the honeymoon stage of our friendship for over a year, and everything was amazing, she was my whole world and the only reason I was happy. But that’s when things started to get toxic. She was going through some shit with her mental health and her family and she ended up taking it out on meShe would constantly put me down, make me feel stupid and worthless, act like I was to blame for everything, and just be so coldheartedly mean I wouldn’t know how to respond .

(4/?) Then the next minute she’d tell me I was beautiful and that she could see how someone could fall in love with me, and she’d brush my hair out of my face and cuddle with me in her bed, like nothing ever happened, never saying a thing.It happened everyday, it was horrible but I loved her and I didn’t know what to think or what to do. It slowly got worse but I had become so dependent on her, I had no other friends or anyone I had felt close to, she was the only one that would be around me.(5/?) I am very quiet and don’t like putting myself in social situations, she was why we became friends in the first place. She was my sun, my rock. But then she became my chain and ball.. After 7 months of horribleness, I finally decided it was too much. I hid and came up with excuses for over a week about why we couldn’t hang out, until she finally approached me and I told her I didn’t think we should be friends anymore. It was really emotional, there was lots of yelling and crying.

(6/9)That was when my coworker introduced me to BTS. It changed everything. They became the light of my life, they gave me music as my salvage and brought back my laughter and tears. For the past year they have been my everything, and I love them so much and will forever appreciate them♡♡ I am finally happy again, finally starting to talk to people again. And that’s how I found out about Mae, through a friend of a friend.

(7/9) Apparently around the same I became an ARMY she left her abusive, alcoholic mothers house and got her own place. She stopped dating those horrible men and doesnt hang out with those people anymorThey said she’s sober and happy and healthy and she just came out as bisexual. And I just checked the roster for my next semester and she will be in two of my classes . My question is, should I try to talk to her again?

(8/8) ?? (I thought there were 9 but I guess not:/) What do you think? Should I try to mend our friendship? Maybe finally be more? It’s been over a year but my feelings for her haven’t gone. But I’m scared.I know deep down that maybe it was never meant to be but I can’t help thinking I’ll never find someone who truly cared about me ever again, and she seems so much better now. I don’t know what to do…

ok, firstly good luck with your finals. i hope they go well for you - good luck!

i’m really sorry your friendship had to go through that twist and things changed, that she went through that herself with her mum etc and that you had to handle it. i really hope you are okay and truly happy now. you said it’s been a year? i’m guessing you mean since you last had contact? within a year a lot can happen, and it seems it has for her. it sounds like she’s really tried to sort things out for herself and her life but, you should put yourself first. it sounds like it was extremely exhausting in all senses of the word. i went through something similar with a friend, personally if i was you - i would wait and see what she does. don’t go in too heavy, don’t let your heart get over your head in this situation. i don’t know why but, something feels that maybe she’ll come to you. i’m a strong believer in the idea of fate, so maybe this is the worlds way of telling you like “hey, your old friend/love is okay now, they’re okay” and wants you to see it for yourself. i think you should wait a few classes first, see how she reacts to your presence, smile at her when you go to your first class or say a quick hello just to let her know you’re there and you’re willing to have her come to you and talk.

it sounds like you are in a better place yourself and that you finally feel comfortable, happy or content and i think that is something you should keep a hold of. don’t let it loose just because an old lover/friend is out to you again. love can be toxic at times especially when it is hidden for so long as it sounds like yours was - but you never deserved to be the punching bag for her emotional turmoil, you never deserved to be the one to suffer. please if you have any doubts about it happening again, save yourself the heartbreak etc and be as you are. but, i don’t see why you shouldn’t at least acknowledge her for starts, see if she comes to you - if she does, take it up - if she doesn’t, approach her yourself slowly if that’s what feels right to you. let time unravel it, it’ll probably hurt a lot to be around her without anything for a while but it sounds like you two really had something special to connect you and, i truly believe what is meant to be, will be. you’ve had a long time away from each other, you’ve both had times to grow from what happened and see things in a different light. you did the right thing to walk away, i know that sounds like a horrible thing for me to say; but you did. whether she comes back into your life or not - never think someone won’t care for you the same, or even more because, they will. you’re a strong person, head strong for sure. i can’t say much for your heart and love for her; other than i think you should be honest. if you do get back in contact, i’d say talk to her about everything - tell her the truth about it, tell her how you feel about her and see how she’s doing herself. you deserve some form of closure to the situation, walking out with her or walking out without her. but either way, you deserve a sense of closure. i say let her have the ball for a while, play it safe, and when you feel like it’s time you’ll know. then take it for yourself, approach her. even if it’s small, approach her.

whatever you do, please keep hold of the strength you have, the happiness and contentment you’ve managed to conjure up for yourself. don’t let someone burn out the light in your life. if you at any moment feel like you did when it went bad - step away. but, please never think that someone won’t care for you any more than another because they will.

#Anonymous #ask #i really hope you do what you think is best for yourself because sometimes going back is a big gamble #i cant tell you if it will be worth it or not i wish i could but i think you should think about what your heart/head tell you #listen to your heart but think about your hearts words with your head #be safe and happy anon ily and ill be here if you ever need something with this etc you know where i am - anon or message i dont mind #im glad bts was a safe space for you #life is a big game and full of obstacles and challenges but youll come out on top #if your love is meant to be itll be #but dont let yourself hold a secret that burns you - let her know honestly #and dont butter it up dont be soft about it be honest and blunt

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demiebby · 7 years ago

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Can you please do a Gray scenario where he takes you to meet the others and in the end hes like "i think you lobe hoody more than me" because you guys become bffs quickly 💛tysm

My New Best Friend

Characters: Y/N, Lee Sunghwa/Gray, Kim Hyunjung/Hoody, Kwon Hyukwoo/Loco, and rest of AOMG artists

Genre: Friendship, Jealousy (from Gray’s cute ass)

A/N: I tried to add some humor into this by letting some of the guys refer to you and Hoody as “gay” jokingly.

You felt like you could throw up at any moment. Your hands were getting clammy and you were fidgeting in the car seat in your boyfriend’s car. Your eyes were fixated on the buildings you passed as you were both heading towards the headquarters of his job. Tonight you were going to meet his friends, and co-workers, for the first time. While it shouldn’t be nerve-wracking it was to you. You had your doubts of his friends. What if they didn’t like you? Or if they didn’t approve of you being with Sunghwa? It was the familiar feeling you got when you first met his parents. The intense fear that they wouldn’t accept you. In the end they did, in spite of how critical his mother was at first of Sunghwa dating you a foreigner. They approved of you; what of his friends?

A dull quaking sigh came from you and you leaned against the doorframe. Sunghwa heard your lament and reached over the armrest to grab your hand. You told him prior to the car ride of your anxiousness to meet his friends. He acknowledged your nervous stature. Sunghwa caressed your hand in his.

“Babe,” he called out to you, his eyes on the road, “Don’t worry. My friends are all open-minded. They will love you.”

You retorted, “What if they don’t? What if they think I’m just a groupie that got with you for other reasons?”

Sunghwa affirmed, “Then I’ll get new friends if that’s how they feel.” He turns into a narrow parking lot. “You know I’ll do anything for you Y/N. Even if that means getting rid of friends who don’t approve of our relationship.”

You beamed at Sunghwa and when he parked the car into a spot you unbuckled your seatbelt. You leaned your body across the space between you two to kiss his cheek. “I love you.” You told him sweetly before you got out from his car.

Sunghwa led you to the entrance of the building, holding your hand in his proudly. He showed you the lobby of the headquarters and you were amazed by the design. It felt like you were at home with the cool and neutral colors. The lavish furnitures and frames of their artists on the wall. He took you to a door and he knocked on it. Through the door you could hear music blaring, people laughing and talking loudly, and some thumping.

“What is going on? Are they having a party or something?” You asked him, your eyes wide and an eyebrow raised.

Sunghwa shook his head. You looked at him – he was probably used to this. Just then the door opened and a man around Sunghwa’s height, arm covered in tattoos, stood. He howled when he saw Sunghwa, completely missing your presence for a moment, to put him into a choke hold. His other hand playfully yet roughly ruffling his hair.

“Aye Gray! What took you so long homie?” He ruffled his hair once more, “Huh man?” The man’s eyes looked at you and he whistled. “Gray,” he started and released Sunghwa from his hold. Your boyfriend straightened his posture and fixed his hair. The man continued, his finger pointing at you, “This is your lady? You told us she was pretty but not gorgeous man.”

You blushed at his words, and covered your shy smile with your hand. Seeing this the guy continued flattering you, “That eyeliner you wearing really brings out your pretty eyes too baby. I like that. It’s sexy.”

You giggled and hit the man’s shoulder. “Stop with the flattery please.”

Sunghwa narrowed his eyes behind his friend. He added, “Stop it.”

The tattooed man ignored Sunghwa and invited you two inside. Your eyes scanned the room to see numerous of people crowded in a small room. There were around 6 to 7 of them. Multi-colored lights were flashing on the walls thanks to a party disco ball on a table. A few of them were on hoverboards. To you this must have been some sort of party if not then a get-together.

“Aye listen up!” The guy from earlier announced. The music stopped and eyes were on you and Sunghwa. “Loco get off the table man,” He scolded to a younger man wearing a navy blue beanie on his head. You watched him hop off and the guy continued. “Gray just came here with his girlfriend so y’all give her a warm welcome.” He turned to you, “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

The guests all shouted, “Hey Y/N!”

“Alright, now we gonna introduce ourselves one by one. Starting off with me.” The man pointed to himself. “My name is Park Jaebeom, but call me Jay Park or Jay for short.”

The beanie guy introduced himself next. “I’m Kwon Hyukwoo, and I go by Loco. It’s nice to meet you.”

Then a intimidating man with chopped blonde hair. “Name’s Jung Kiseok, but I’m known as Simon Dominic or Simon D.” You thought he was cool.

Another man with slicked back hair followed, “Ugly Duck is my name, but since you’re family now call me Ju-kyung.” You smiled at that statement.

A guy on a hoverboard waved to you with a smile, “I’m Oh Mintaek, and my stage name is Elo. It’s nice to meet a special someone of Gray’s.”

Afterwards a man with tanned skin presented himself, “Chase Malone; call me Cha Cha Malone okay?”

Loco caroled, “I need a cha cha beat boy,” to which everyone broke out into laughter.

You gasped at Cha Cha and pointed a finger to him. “You’re him? Oh my god, it’s an honor to meet you! I love your beats they are so dope. You gotta show me how you do it man.”

Sunghwa complained, “What about me?” He folded his arms with a pout.

Jay clicked his tongue at Gray, “What about you?” and you chuckled. You assured your boyfriend that you appreciated his work just as much as you did Cha Cha’s.

Lastly the only female besides from you introduced herself. “Hello my name is Hyunjung, but call me Hoody.” You thought of her as pretty. Her piercing eyes contrasted with her sweet smile when she gave you a brief wave.

When introductions were over you and Sunghwa went your separate ways. He was dragged off by Jay and Simon to a recording room. That left you with the rest of the members of AOMG in the lounge. You were sitting on the couch talking with Hoody about your interests. Surprisingly you both had a lot. You both shared similar favorite artists, clothing brands, and even favorite dog breeds.

“How are you guys able to click so easily?” Hyukwoo enquired as he offered you a cup to drink. You asked him if there was alcohol in it to which he shook his head. You thanked him as you took the drink and shrugged your shoulders to his question. He pointed to himself and Ju-kyung. “Is it because we’re guys and you’re girls?”

Ju-kyung nodded his head, “That has to be it there’s no other way.”

You scoffed and Hoody rolled her eyes. “It’s not because of gender,” you said. “Me and her just click fast because we’re both interested in the same things and have many in common.”

“Don’t get riled up about them Y/N. They were like this when I first joined AOMG, too hesitant to talk to a woman. Especially Loco.” He gestured to the man. “He was so scared to talk to me I thought it was because I was ugly.”

“What?!” You exclaimed. “You are so pretty though! Beautiful to say the most!”

Hoody smiled shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You really think so?”

You nodded your head eagerly. Hyukwoo and Ju-kyung proceeded to make comments about you being lesbian. You comically replied, “Maybe for Hoody.” and covered it with laughter.

That night you exchanged your phone number and social medias with everyone. You gained extra followers on your Instagram, Snapchat, Kakao, and Twitter. You would speak to most of them, but you talked with Hoody more. You two would talk back and forth during the day and into the late night. Sometimes Sunghwa would have to coerce you into going to bed because of your conversations with Hoody. You couldn’t help it. The conversations were intriguing and engaging.

One day you and Hoody had made plans prior to Sunghwa arriving to your house. You were on the sofa with Sunghwa’s head on your lap while on the phone with Hoody.

“Really? Loco told you that he had a crush on you?”

“Yes he did! I was shocked at first… but I didn’t want to reject him. Loco is a nice guy and all but he’s not my type.”

You awed, “Then who is your type?”

Hoody took a moment to pause before she answered. “Jay. B-But I know that Jay has his eyes set on someone else already. I’m only using him as an example of my preference.”

“I know, I know, jeez calm down Hyunjung.” You proceeded to change the topic, “So what are you wearing for our date to the mall?”

“Probably just jeans, throw on a shirt, wear some sneakers. Nothing too flamboyant.”

You suggested, “Why don’t we wear similar outfits? I was thinking of wearing my pastel pink hoodie, skinny jeans, and Adidas sneakers.”

She hummed, “Hm,” then answered, “I don’t have a hoodie in that color, but I do have a cropped sweater. What color are your Adidas?”

“White.”

Hoody told you hers were white as well and you two confirmed your plans for the evening. You said your goodbyes and ended the phone call with her. You gently nudged Sunghwa’s head and made your way upstairs to your room. As you were searching through your closet for your outfit’s pieces Sunghwa entered. He sat on the bed watching you take out your pink hoodie and hold it up to your chest in the mirror.

“Planning dates, telling each other’s crushes, and wearing couple outfits,” He thought aloud, Sunghwa crossed his leg over the other and said, “If I didn’t knew any better I would think that you and Hoody were dating.”

You took off your t-shirt and pulled on the hoodie. “You wouldn’t be the first to say that.” You replied pushing your arms through the long sleeves and fixing the hoodie. You took off your sweatpants and began to look for a pair of skinny jeans.

Sunghwa stood up from the bed and hugged you from behind. You grumbled for him to get off of you because you needed to find your jeans when he suddenly turned you around. Your eyes went up to look at your boyfriend’s. “Gray, I gotta get dressed Hoody will be here any minute now.”

“I think you love Hoody more than me.”

His statement made you laugh and you hugged him. Your face buried in his chest while you shook with violent laughter. Sunghwa was confused. “Why are you laughing?” he asked.

“Because,” you started, “You! You’re jealous of my friendship with Hoody babe.”

“Well I wouldn’t be jealous if you’d cut back on hanging out with her. Lately you’ve been with Hoody rather than me.”

“Lee Sunghwa. Listen to me,” you grabbed his hands, intertwining your fingers in the spaces between his. “Hoody is just my friend. This is what friends do they hang out and go out to places together. If I am hanging out with her too often for your liking then I will cut back on it. Will that make you happy?”

Sunghwa nods his head to your suggestion and you kissed his lips. “Good. I still gotta change but I’ll commit to my promise after today.” You pushed him away and found the pair of jeans you were looking for. You slid them on and turned to your boyfriend who stood there pouting. You sighed at him, “Are you still sulking?”

“No,” he remarked.

“Then why are you,” You stopped refusing to break this into an argument. Sunghwa’s evident jealousy towards your evening out with Hoody was apparent. It wasn’t going to go away anytime soon no matter what you told him. You buttoned your jeans and ran your fingers through your hair. At that moment you came up with an idea. “How about this… I cancel my plans with Hoody to go out to the mall with you and out to the movies. How does that sound?”

Sunghwa shrugged his shoulders briefly but he smiled through his action. He nodded his head agreeing to your plan. “I like that idea.”

“Good.” You looked him over prior to walking to your phone and texting Hoody to cancel your evening plans. You got a text back from her saying that she understood. You replied back with a curt apology; not telling her Sunghwa’s envy was the cause. After texting your friend you looked at Sunghwa.

“I’ll meet you outside at the car let me slide on my sneakers.” You told him. You watched him leave and when you heard the door to your house shut you immediately dove for your phone. You quickly told Hoody that you were going to meet her at AOMG headquarters to go out for a night of drinking.

“I always get what I want,” you murmured triumphantly and put on your shoes to leave out with Sunghwa.

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spinnerprincess · 7 years ago

Text

happy ace awareness week

i think you’re all probably aware that i’m ace by now, i mention it from time to time, but in case you’re not... heyyyyyy

you can find a lot of ace resources around, teaching you about asexuality, what it means, etc. i’ve been personally appreciating the hell out of lyd’s comics on the subject, the most recent of which is here.

this post isn’t for that. this post is for being aware of where i’m at regarding being ace. i would appreciate it if you read it.

hashtag lgbt/ace discourse ahead.

it’s been a weird year for me. a lot of good things have happened, and so have a lot of bad things. dealing with my asexuality has fallen into both categories.

when i first encountered the term asexuality and adopted it for myself it was a very different time. i had made a friend who was ace. without going into detail, they were a little older than me, and were dealing with the aftereffects of a bad relationship where they felt harrassed and later assaulted by a partner. so i came into it with the full awareness that being ace could be rough and cause discrimination, etc.

but honestly, in some ways, it was an easier time. back in 2011 asexuality felt less visible, but where it was visible, it was accepted pretty freely. some conversations around terms like “allosexual” began cropping up around them. i think i navigated them fairly well, and i learned a lot, and with everything i learned i grew surer that being ace was both a term that made me feel validated and comfortable, and the word that best defined my gender/sexuality experience.

the worst thing i had to deal with was people who hated “aces prefer cake” jokes and the occasional “stop calling yourselves aces you’re not playing cards” which, meh, it’s just a cute shortening. i love it. didn’t stop then, won’t stop now. you couldn’t pay me to go back to a time when i thought sherlock was worth any attention (i at least didn’t fuckin ascribe to a lot of the shit like “oh he’s ace/aro and it excuses his bullshit” haha fuck off.). but. boy. sometimes i miss it.

this past year or two, it’s been shitty. first we had the tail end of the “queer” discourse. i understood some viewpoints coming out of that, but ultimately settled on feeling like it the people arguing to remove it from the lexicon were wrong. i think there’s some valid points to be made, but mostly found the whole argument tiresome. Let people call themselves what they want, and don’t use it for people you don’t know like it, or for the whole community. Done.

and if I’m a little more hesitant to use it for myself, if i once described myself as queer freely and happily, and now do so nervously, backspacing it out of the text once or twice, that’s... something i hope to overcome.

but boy oh boy did that discourse just dovetail right into my personal hell. the kind of people who don’t want to see the community expanded, who want to stay on top and exclude people who aren’t being their kind of gay, immediately dug their claws into that argument about “queer” and didn’t stop.

i’ve endured months and months of ace discourse now and it’s... it’s been exhausting. i’m not even directly involved in it, but it’s still there. it’s constant. it’s insidious.

what started as a counter argument of “queer is a great as a blanket word for people with complex identities, such as ace people” dove directly into “well, are ace people lgbt?” and didn’t stop. suddenly it was the topic of the season. early definitions said “yes” or “if they think they are.” more arguments. “well, heteroromantic aces aren’t lgbt,” became popular. i can see why. that kind of invisible distinction could play well into pretending you’re straight, after all - right? so went the discourse. ugh.

as that argument caught on, people with anti-ace agendas pushed it further. “so being ace alone doesn’t make you lgbt.” “kids can’t identify as ace, that’s sexualization.” “cishet aces just want to steal our resources.”

i don’t want to go into all of these but. boy. some of them were presented logically, kindly. others devolved quickly into “aces are the worst and can die,” “ace people don’t belong full stop,” and even “lol look at me i’m a tumblrina i’m 13 years old asexual fictkin special snowflake” as the punchline of jokes that spread outside of this site.

some ace people are assholes and of course stirred the pot more by being overtly bitter/turning things into oppression olympics type bickering over how aces have the worst, or whatever. some blogs people cited for examples of “terrible ace people co-opting lesbian stuff” or whatever else were literally from sockpuppet blogs making fun of ace people.

for a time, i even bought into some of it. i thought some of the early arguments, that heteroromantic aces shouldn’t be considered lgbt, might have valid points. but you know what? that’s bullshit. if you believe you belong, you should be welcomed with open arms. hetero aces experience some of the same shit i do. they probably also experience other shit. just because i don’t know what it is, or it’s different from mine, doesn’t mean it isn’t an alienating, and perhaps even queer, experience. their sexuality, as nuanced as it is, still sets them apart and they deserve support. we all do.

it sucks to think that this shitty shitty discourse had me believing in a position that invalidated my own experience of aceness being the source of much of my queer experiences, for a while.

all this to say nothing of the invisible hate seeping towards aromantic people as well, lolololol. it’s not a big part of me the way being ace is but i’m probably somewhere on the aro spectrum and. great. thanks. i’m still so tired of split attraction model arguments. if it works for you, use it. if it works for other people, let them use it. is it so hard to believe that some people might experience things differently to you? or differently to how you would imagine? god.

my favorite part is when allo people started saying “allo is a slur!!!” when, get this: allosexual was pushed for and partially created by allo people who (rightly) didn’t want to be called “sexual,” like poc, and rape survivors. ace people adopted it into their language for their benefit, not for ours, lololololol

so. that’s the year i’ve been dealing with. i’ve had to unfollow a number of people i thought were otherwise cool over this. i haven’t gone a single month without finding someone i think is amazing, reading through their blog, and discovering with a sense of nausea that they would hate me. genuinely hate me. there’s no love there. someone who says “u shouldn’t follow me if you think ace people are lgbt lol” isn’t interested in hearing and believing my stories, my experiences, my life which is hard and queer and as deserving of support as anyone’s. they aren’t interested in treating me like a person. that’s... i mean, i think that counts as hate. yeah.

i still hesitate on the word aphobia, or, similarly, biphobia. i don’t know if it’s the right way to describe it, when the hatred you refer to comes from within a similar group of people with oppressed sexualities. i wouldn’t hesitate to say post from an allosexual person in favor of in corrective rape w/r/t ace people are aphobic. i wouldn’t hesitate to say a straight person who thinks bi people are disgusting is a biphobe.

but is that reality talking, or is it just me being unable to acknowledge that oppression is oppression, fear and hate are fear and hate, and discrimination towards aces, which i’ve spent the last two years being told isn’t real, despite experiencing it on a regular basis both in and out of community?

what’s the line between discrimination and oppression? if people’s everyday biases make it harder for ace people to live their lives, is there a point in determining that line?

i fuckin dunno. i’m so tired. i’ve spent a long year feeling like i’ve shrunk myself. i feel more comfortable lately talking about fictional ladies and my attraction to them, which isn’t sexual, and isn’t exactly romantic, but it’s... it’s something that exist. just recently i became comfortable feeling like i can use the term “wlw” for myself, which i fought myself for a long time on. being ace, being quietly non-binary were both things that felt like obstacles.

and the wlw community is just full of toxicity still. terfs have grown and drawn others to their ideologies, some of them using anti-ace tactics to do so, others using tried and true biphobic messaging and of course, who could forget the constant hammering of “trans women aren’t women” bullshit they like to pull.

so that’s one triumph of the year. i’m nb, i’m wlw, i’m ace. i can say those three things and feel pretty comfortable in it.

i just wish it didn’t also come at costs. i find it harder to express my ace life. i find it harder to feel positively about it. i don’t have the energy to deeply deal with ace headcanons lately. it feels like the online world is hyperaware of us now, if anything. everybody has an opinion. moreover, people feel entitled to an opinion, in a way they weren’t before. people feel like it can be their opinion that my ace experiences aren’t lgbt, or that my sexuality doesn’t exist or even harms theirs, or... i don’t know. what will be the next big reason asexuality is terrible/invalid/not lgbt?

if you bothered to read or hell just skimmed this long post... thank you.

thank you.

i know i’ve been quiet about a lot of this. not all the time, but a lot of the time. i feel bad about that, a little? i want people to know what this looks like. knowing asexuality exists is so, so good. but knowing that ace people are facing right now, the movement of hatred that has swept across pockets of lgbt people in recent years, and having the awareness to try and combat it...

it would mean a lot to me, if it felt like more of that could exist.

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