#I want to share everything but yknow none of it would make sense in the state these WIPs are in now lol

[notherpuppet]

I was rereading the earlier parts of MDN today: I hope we get to see more human Sera eventually! You depicted her in Buckshot as being so menacing, I’d be excited to see if her suspicions about Alastor ever come to fruition.

Good luck on your finals <33

Sera will be back!! 😙🪽

[gilverrwrites]

yknow, something about dick grayson—golden boy, beloved, etc—falling for the forgotten sionis!reader feels entirely poetic for both of them that I love it so much

Dick Grayson/Sionis!Reader [Post in reference] gah yeah I love them, I'm so glad ya'll are seeing my vision! 💙 Like you said, theirs just something so ✨ about them

Here's a 1000 of fluff/Dick being a simp just cause I was thinking about them today. Like, they're getting ready for their first public event since they told their families; you're so nervous about seeing your father again since he’d snapped at you, telling you (to paraphrase from Roman’s much more colourful language:) no daughter of his would date a Wayne and he didn’t want to see you again until you'd come to you senses, which Dick thought was awfully rich from a man who barely made an effort to see his daughter anyway.

That night Dick is in a bad mood. He hasn’t really enjoyed these functions in years, of late he’d only ever made the effort to go when Bruce had asked him to; the silver lining always being that he might catch a glimpse of you. But you’d insisted on going tonight in order to keep up appearances. It drives him mad that even after everything they put you through, even after they’ve practically cut you out, you’re still trying so hard to please them. Him. Roman. He never deserved you for a daughter, none of them deserved you. But it’s not his call to make, he said he’d support you, whatever your decision and he wholeheartedly intends to keep that promise.

He's adjusting his bowtie in the warped reflection of the toaster for the fourth time when you emerge from the bedroom in a dress he hasn’t seen before, and trust that he remembers every dress he’s ever seen you in. It stops him mid-fold, compelling him to twist on the spot to soak you in. It’s mesh, with a tasteful amount of sparkle, a whole lot of delicate embroidery and it’s a very familiar shade of deep blue to boot.

“Is that new?” He asks, unable to stop his mouth from falling open.

“Um, kinda. New to me. Clarissa from wardrobe let me borrow it.” You explain as you give him a perfectly posed twirl, offering him a better look. The tulle skirt rises as you do so, like you’re his very own fairy princess. “Do you like it?”

“Clarissa from wardrobe.” He muses dreamily as he strides closer, stretching his arms out toward you. You reach back for him, but he dodges your embrace, locking his hands on your waist and hoisting you into the air for another spin. “Remind me to repay her with our firstborn.”

Despite his good humour and admiration. Dick is now actually in a worse mood. You’ve been so stressed the last few days. He both hates and understands how you allow your family to have that kind of power over you. He hates that he has to share you with a room full of pompous old men, and a family that can’t see past their own noses, and now has to do it while you look like that. While all he really wants to do is take you to a real dance hall, or a magic forest full of talking woodland creatures, or hell, back into the bedroom.

“So, that’s a yes?” Your voice is high and giggly as he drops you back onto the floor. Holding tight still, he brings you close to his chest, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and planting kisses along your collar. This is the most relaxed he’s seen you all day and he wants to make the most of it. Instinctively, your soft hands travel up his back, resting on his shoulders, and he can’t help but rock your bodies side to side as he continues to speckle his affections along your chest.

“Like it, I love it!” He murmurs into your warm skin. You haven’t put on your perfume yet, he can tell. He likes the aroma of your chosen fragrance, but even more, he loves your natural scent, and he relishes it as he works his way up your neck until you’re face to face once more. It’s you who kisses him, decisively planting your soft, painted lips on his and causing him to stop his sway in its tracks. When you pull back and look at him with your brilliant eyes, through those soft lashes, he can’t help but blurt his mind. “Are you sure you want to go to this thing?”

“Oh.” You hesitate, and it’s answer enough but he lets you finish anyway. “Yes… I’m not giving up on my family, or you.”

Your determination is endearing, commendable, and hopefully not as futile as he believes. Accepting Black Mask as his future father-in-law may not be easy, but if you mend that bridge, he’ll make it work. Whatever way he has to. He thinks this as he watches you retract from his arms, he doesn’t let you go however, holding onto your hand and following you back into the bedroom.

You settle at your vanity, clearing up your makeup and Dick crouches behind you. The side of his head rests against yours as he watches your face in the mirror. You try to swat him away, presumably to make whatever finishing touches you need to your make-up, but he refuses to go, grinning ear to ear as he dodges your beauty blender.

Eventually, you give up, starting on the other side instead. He sticks his tongue out in triumph, and you roll your eyes at him despite your begrudging smile.

You turn away from him to search your drawers for something and he notices the top button of your dress has come undone. His touch is gentle as he strokes the back of his knuckle from your nape, down to the hem of the dress, and he grins to himself when his finger evokes a serene sigh from you.

“Welp…” He starts, but you're barely with him, losing yourself to his caress. Your pretty lips jut out in a pout when he halts in order to refasten your button. “Welp, if you change your mind, and wanna go for ice cream on the pier, or, well, do anything else instead; the code is ‘fuck this, let's get out of here’.”  

Your pout does not subside, even as he resumes massaging the stress from your muscles. Not until he leans in to kiss your shoulder blade and promises; “Whatever you decide, I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

[satansindexfinger]

Can you do the Brothers and Undateables reacting to an MC who called God sky daddy?

Author's note: ahsjdjdkf this is hilarious, thank you for requesting! It feels so weird putting the fancy banners and everything for something this silly lmao

Warnings: none

Crack; gn!mc

Everyone's Reaction To You Calling God 'Sky Daddy'

Lucifer

"... Pardon?"

He knows for a fact you did not just call his father sky daddy of all things. It takes him a moment to process it.

He visably cringes and rubs his temples, annoyance evident, "Please, for the love of everything, do not refer to him that way ever again."

What would even posess you to do that? You humans really are an enigma Lucifer can't decipher.

He couldn't look more disgusted if he tried.

Mammon

"Huh? W-who are ya callin' that?!"

Relax, Mammon. God isn't their side-hoe. It's not the type of daddy you're picturing. It's a joke.

"Damn, why didn't ya just call him by his name... yer really weird, yknow that?"

Now he's jealous. Why does God get a goofy nickname and he doesn't?!

Leviathan

"LMAOOOOO"

Thinks it's hilarious. So what if it's his dad? That was a good one, MC!

Boy is well-versed in obscure internet slang so nothing can surprise him on that front. Won't dare to use it himself but... okay, maybe when it's just you two.

He really wants to fit in okay? Probably has his own fair share of memes relating to The Lord (tm) and will send you every last one.

Satan

"Thank who?"

Did he hear you right? Is this some weird type of human word play? Even his big brain needs a second to connect the dots.

"Huh, I've never heard that alias of his before. Well, he is on the upper realm, and he is technically the father of all things... I suppouse it makes sense."

Doesn't pay any mind to it after analyzing the connection. He thinks it's a weird way of saying it but you do you, MC.

I lied. He so keeps that in the back of his mind to use when Lucifer is around just to piss him off.

Asmodeous

"Oh, MC! I didn't know you had quite the mouth on you! How blasphemous!"

Gasps like the drama queen he is.

Good job, you've turned his cringy flirt mode on. Now he won't leave you alone.

You might want to reconsider your word usage around this bitch next time.

Beelzebub

Whomst? What?? Sky who?

Doesn't get it, doesn't ask about it. He thinks he didn't hear you clearly over the sound of his munching.

Will look at you like a confused dog and cock his head, hoping you'd explain. If you do he will just nod. Like it's the most normal thing he's heard all day.

"Ah, you mean Father." Whatever. Back to your guys' scheduled sixth meal of the day.

Belphegor

"Sky daddy? Really? Could you be any weirder about him?"

If you pay close attention you can hear his subtle snicker. Come off it Belphie, you think it's hilarious.

Would absolutely call his maker sky daddy if they ever met again. Shame he's probably permanently banned from the celestial realm.

Look me in the eyes and tell me he hasn't attempted to call God weird ass names to his face before.

Joins Satan in his quest to piss Lucifer off by calling their father that.

Diavolo

Congrats, you've stumped the demon lord himself! .. For a split second. Then he lets out a laugh like he's just watched the funniest stand up on Netflix.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you, MC? What an odd nickname!"

Thinks it's charming for some reason. You little humans and your interesting choice of words! How cute!

"Does that make me ground daddy?"

Diavolo please.

Barbatos

Ignores you. No reaction from this killjoy right here.

Okay, maybe he finds it just a tad amusing. Won't show it though. He might mention it in passing while he's having tea with Diavolo and chuckle a bit about the blatant disrespect you have the balls to show, but that's about it.

Or so you think. Motherfucker will drop it in conversation when you least expect it.

"It's a good thing we heard the timer on the oven this time. I suppouse we can thank Sky Daddy for this?"

It sounds illegal coming out of his mouth.

Solomon

"Daddy Jay-Z really has blessed us today."

Will play along with it. Man gives zero shits. Remember, this is the same dude who wanted to call Michael Mike.

He already knows he's going to hell shall he become mortal again so why not drag his favourite MC down with him?

"May the cloud son-in-law and holy poltergeist help us one day too."

You two are a walking menace.

Simeon

(Let me upload the banner you piece of shit site)

Look absolutely scandalized. You might as well have murdered Luke right infront of his eyes.

"M-MC!! That is highly disrespectful! Please watch your language, especially if Luke is around."

Knows you were probably trying to be funny but mans is whipped for holiness. Relax, he knows you probably didn't know any better so he isn't mad.

Just a bit dissappointed.

Won't lecture you further but will sigh and look disapprovingly if you ever did it again.

[twocubes]

You like math AND tarot???? Wow we're probably secret clones of each other lol.

I'd like to request a reading please. I've lately been feeling mentally exhausted and anxious over everything. There's a lot of big decisions coming up and I'm scared I'm not up for the task. I have all these things I'd like to do in order to turn my life around but since I'm always in fight or flight mode I can't seem to focus and end up doing none of them in the end. If you could tell me the reason and a hint about what would the best course of action that's be great. Thank you!!

my interests move hither and tither :p but yes, right now this is the toy project i'm having fun with

anyways. you seem to have some general idea as to what you want to do and i think you might need help turning it to something more specific; to that end, sun tzu's five factors:

Purpose: OMEGA OF HEARTS Purpose is what you're trying to do; why people follow you if you're at the head of a group OMEGA, the first countably infinite ordinal, is like, an ideal, something you are working towards but may never attain. HEARTS is reproduction, in the sense of what is required to continue to exist, so health, emotional health, ability to continue, etc

Landscape: OPEN AIR Landscape is the environment you're working in, and where you and others are in it, relative to each-other OPEN AIR is having a wider perspective, considering external factors, "go touch grass", that sort of stuff

Climate: FIRE & WATER, reversed (so WATER) Climate is what affects the environment, the conditions that change what people can do and all that WATER is like, incompressible flow; so, going with the flow, transportation of stuff from here to there, shipping, logistics, that stuff

Doctrine: SEVEN OF SPADES Doctrine is your standard operating procedures; the stuff that exists in your big map of "if this happens, then I do this" that exists secretly in your mind for you to deploy when you're on autopilot SEVEN is that which is both mysterious and unfamiliar, confusion, unexpected things, the unknown, etc, and SPADES is like, material contradictions, conflict, etc

Leadership: ONE HALF OF HEARTS, reversed Leadership means the decision you're going to make given all of the above ONE HALF means things being incomplete, half-done, in progress, insufficient, partly gone, etc

I read these cards thus:

What you're trying to do here is to find a way to live and thrive. You're trying to survive and to maintain your ability to do the stuff that keeps you going, and this is a sort of surviving that is like, an ongoing thing; you want to grow and to keep growing, and to stagnate is to die.

To understand the situation you find yourself in, you need to take a wider view. You are focusing right now on just the next step of your various projects, and stuck, paralyzed, hesitating as to which to take, but the only way to navigate this terrain is to take a wider view, to look at (or make) a broader map of what you can do and what you want to do.

Particularly you should pay attention to how resources are moved around on this terrain, and how, yknow, incompressible the work is. you only have so much time and so much effort to spare, and you have to share that among all the things you're trying to do.

Because there are conflicts for resources underlying the way you pursue your goals (those resources being possibly stuff like your time, your passion, your money, your ability to deal with the emotional effects of what needs to be done, help from other people, etc). These conflicts are mysterious and unclear to you, because what exactly is necessary to pursue your various paths is also unclear.

Given all this, it is suggested that you consider the following path: you must embrace the possibility of insufficiency of your ability to support your goals.

It is scary to really look at what it would take to pursue the things you're pursuing, to really think about how much work it would take, what risks are involved. It takes much resilience to be able to deal emotionally with what limits you may find, what choices you might have to make, what you might have to abandon.

But also, you cannot proceed without doing that. You need to figure out what you can do, what you can try to find help for, what you should leave be for later, and what you might need to abandon. Only once you've resolved yourself emotionally to the fact you might have to abandon some things can you proceed without fear and with full vision of your time and resources, and thus cease to be stuck in the decision paralysis that you live in now, and confidently decide which step to take.

...

or at least that's my reading. idk, maybe this makes sense maybe this doesn't.

[linkspooky]

White Wolf, Black Wolf:  Yuji and Geto

Dualism, is a common theme in Jujutsu Kaisen. There’s a difference between binary opposites and a completementary pair. Binary opposites supposes that two ideas are complete opposites of eachother, they are enemies and therefore cannot coexist. Death is the opposite of life. However, ideas like the concept of yin and yang suggest that these pairs are not opposites, or even enemies, they just exist alongside one another. The feminine yin contains a single dot of the masculine yang energy inside of it and vice versa. 

This pattern repeats itself with both Geto and Yuji. Two characters who seem like they are complete opposites, enemies, hero and villain and yet have far more in common with one another than one might thing. Each of them represented by a wolf, Yuji the white wolf, and Geto the black. 

Dualism - describing how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.

1. You and the Worst Person You Know Have More in Common than You Thought

Both Yuji and Geto are sharing their body with another existence. Not only that but a sorcerer from the previous era. Sukuna started out as a sorcerer, and one from the golden age of sorcerers. We don’t know who is in Geto yet, but they’ve made it clear several times that they’re not a sorcerer from this era, mockingly referring to the sorcerers of this era as beneath them. The difference is, Yuji is the dominant personality and Geto is the subordinate one. They even fight for control of their body in the same way, by grabbing their neck. 

Both Yuji and Geto have died, and then been improbably brought back to life one time already and had their body healed by the same person who seeks to steal their body. They also both died in front of their other half, their friend, Yuji dies heroically in front of Megumi sacrificing himself so Megumi doesn’t have to call Mahoraga, and Geto dies as a villain after his plan has failed executed by Gojo. Even the days they die are opposites, Geto dies in a clear sky and Yuji dies in the rain. 

They both eat curses. Geto eats them physically in order to store them and use them later. Yuji consumes Sukuna’s fingers in order to grow stronger. Geto’s Jujutsu is themed around his stomach, Sukuna’s is cooking themed. 

Yuji and Geto are both have savior / martyr imagery attached to them. They’re both people who have died, and come back from the dead at least once, and the jesus imagery with Geto is clear and explicitly referenced in hidden inventory. 

Yuji wants to be strong like Gojo, but it’s clear he follows Geto’s philosophy of wanting to save as many people as possible. What motivates him isn’t a clear and strong sense of individualism, but rather the idea that the strong are duty bound to help the weak. Even when Geto’s completely out of his mind he’s still guided by that principle, if he has the strength to do it, then he’s duty bound to try to change the world in the way he sees fit. The thing with Geto is his ideals are warped, but they’re still ideals, he has principles guiding him. These ideals also shockingly sound similiar to what Yuji says, and the burdens he wants to carry. 

It’s something that doesn’t change about Geto from the start to the end of Hidden Invenotry, the strong are obligated to help the weak, it’s just Geto flipped. he sees the sorcerers as the weak and oppressed people, and the masses as the strong ones. 

Geto and Yuji are both people heavily preoccupied with doing the right thing, whereas Gojo and Megumi kind of don’t care (Gojo) / have already accepted the fact (Megumi) that they’re not really saving people with their actions. Geto and Yuji are reckless saviors, they kind of just want to save everybody they see suffering in front of them immediately without thinking through the consequences of their actions. It’s never been seriously analyzed why Yuji feels so deadset on saving others, but from early on he seems to like the idea that it’s a burden that only he can take on himself. It’s something he must duty. The same way that Geto binds himself by the idea of duty. 

Geto and Yuji are just people who will take the whole world on their shoulders, and this isn’t just a parallel I’m making it’s one directly made by the narrative. When worrying about Yuji’s future, Yaga thinks directly of Geto someone who became overwhelmed by everything on is shoulders.

Geto wasn’t able to carry on as he once did, because he couldn’t carry the regret with him. That’s the parallel that the story is making with Yuji, that’s the danger Yuji is in. 

2. Worst Person You Know Makes a Good Point

Chapter 132 there’s a definite change in Yuji’s demeanor. While we haven’t seen the full results of his change yet, not only has he been phsically scarred on his face, but it’s clear the deaths of Nanami, the people killed by Sukuna, all have served to harden him. Nanami wanted Yuji to remain a child a little bit longer, but Yuji has now become a jujutsu sorcerer. However, the words he declares to Mahito have two clear connections to Geto. One, it’s what Geto said to Gojo to stop him from slaughtering the star plasma vessel cult in the moment. 

Gojo has feelings of course, but he’s not moved by them the same way that Geto and Yuji are. Gojo was in need of a tether in that moment and Geto’s words became his tether. Remember Gojo became so powerful as the strongest one he felt like he was capable of anything without feeling it, even slaughtering people on mass, but in that moment Geto became the link that held him back and reminded him he was human. 

What’s ironic is that Gojo was moved by Geto’s words and held himself back, whereas Geto wasn’t. It was Gojo who stuck to those words a year after the fact. He was the strongest, but he doesn’t ever act unless he carefully considers it. He doesn’t just throw power around or slaughter people the way that Geto does. 

What Yuji is vowing to do right now, following his duty as a jujutsu sorcerer without even thinking about it, is exactly what drove Geto apeshit bananas (you see because he loves monkeys so much. It’s a, ‘yknow, it’s one of them jokes). 

Yuji thinks he can just keep going on without thinking and being nothing more than a cog, but it’s exactly that kind of mechanical subservience that completely wore out Geto. Simply going through the motions without questioning it is given to us as the exact reason for Geto’s downfall, it’s one of the most chilling sequences in the manga. 

People aren’t machines, and they aren’t gears, they break down when they try to conform that way. So while it’s understandable Yuji would want to push away all his thoughts in the moment, it’s also not healthy.

The reason Geto became the way he is, is because he realized the laws he was obeying weren’t as fair as he thought they were. He thought it was his duty, and obligation to help the masses, until he looked at his actions with closer scrutiny and realized that wasn’t really what motivated him. Geto thought what he was doing was good, that he would save people, but then Riko’s death was a reality check to him that no one was getting saved by the current system. Yuji seems to have done the opposite of Geto so far. Perhaps I won’t save people. Perhaps I’m just a cog in the machine and my actions truly don’t matter as long as I can keep fighting with my comrades as a jujutsu sorcerer. However, that’s probably not going to work for him.

Yuji’s current comfort in his moment of crisis is that he’s fighting together with all of his comrades, that he carries the wishes of people like Nanami and that’s why he has to keep going, but Yuji also might not have comrades in the jujutsu world after this. We already see people like Kusakabe beginning to turn against him because of Sukuna’s rampage in Shibuya. 

So my intention in all of this is to say it’s not black and white. (Because, get it?? black wolf, white wolf??? Okay, I’m sorry I’ll shut up). Geto wasn’t an entirely bad person, there was good in him too. There was still good in him. This is what Getwo says when he’s beating on Yuji, that if Geto had used his forces more like disposable pawns instead of family telling them to fall back and making sure they all lived he would have won. 

The worst person you know, was still a human being who loved his family with all of is heart. Ideas like this challenge Yuji’s simplified reasons for fighting, and his naive view of the world. 

At the end of the day Yuji and Geto have lots of similarities. They’re opposite colors, Geto black, Yuji white, but they are both still wolves. They’re both moved by deep emotions they feel at the pit of their stomachs. They’re both people who sympathize with others and want to save them, and at the same time get angry and want to kill their enemies. None of this is bad about Yuji in fact it’s what makes him unique among shonen protagonist, he’s not a wholly good person, but just as flawed as anyone else in the story. Nobara’s crazy, Megumi’s crazy, Gojo’s crazy, and then there’s Yuji who should have been the normal one who grew up with a normal life and who is just as crazy as all the rest. 

If anything the parallels between Yuji and Geto show that Yuji is someone who has the chance to grow stronger than Geto by learning from Geto’s fault. Geto tried to carry too much, until the burden of saving the world broke him and he decided he could only save a few people the rest were just monkeys. It’s up to Yuji now to figure out what saving people means, and how he can help others without getting destroyed by the sense of responsibility or just killing himself and dying before he’s helped a single person. However, for Yuji to learn to be better he actually has to think about these things.

That’s also the second parallel to the “I don’t need to think about it’ Scene. (Besides, Sukuna who also declares that he’ll kill for no reason.) In the original Geto fight in the prequel manga Yuta declares this. He doesn’t know whether Geto is right or not, he doesn’t know anything about the world of Jujutsu he just wants to protect his friends. 

Geto calls him egotistical. In the sense that just like a child, he’s only really thinking about himself and his own emotions. Of course Yuta thinks that way because he is a child, a traumatized teenager at that. However, one important detail about this fight is defeating Geto did not cause him to go away. Killing him didn’t actually fix the problem. Geto just came back a year later with somebody else in his body. 

I think this is all leading up to a point for Yuji where he gives some serious self examination as a protagonist. It’s not enough for Yuji to just defeat his enemies. We even see that when after is triumphant moment with Mahito, Geto just wipes the floor with him.

Jujutsu Kaisen presents a very complex world, that’s not  just black and white, not just winning and losing. The next big step in Yuji’s character development is probably going to be realizing this. That he needs to seriously think about his reason. That he needs to think about what he wants to do in the future. It’s not enough for him to sacrifice his life to save someone else, he’s not a hero, or some martryr to a cause. I think the most important thing Yuji has to learn at the end of all of this is to actually live, and find out why he’s alive instead of resigning himself to the fact that he’ll get executed one day. It’s only then Yuji will be able to reach his full potential as both a jujutsu sorcerer and a person. 

He’s just a kid you know? The theme of the manga is kids should get to be kids. Yuji should get to grow up just like everybody else, instead of dying before he’s even old because he ate Sukuna’s finger to help someone else. 

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[eternally-writing]

grammys grief | knj

genre: fluff and angst

rating: G (no swearing or sexual content)

pairing: Namjoon x reader

theme: idol!au, boyfriend!au, one-shot

word count: 1.5k

warnings: none (Namjoon is pretty sad though)

synopsis: After a devastating Grammys loss, Namjoon comes to you for some comfort.

(A/N: Recording Academy if you’re reading this, I don’t like you.)

banner by me!

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

“I’m sorry” were the first words you said as you opened your apartment door to see a sulky Namjoon.

“I just didn’t want to be alone right now,” mumbled Namjoon as he tossed off his shoes in your entryway.

You get it, or at least if you don’t get it you try your best to. You don’t know what it’s like to be a part of a chart-topping, record-breaking group that just got snubbed by the Recording Academy. You don’t know what it’s like to have the pressure of carrying the image of South Korea on your shoulders, but for Namjoon you’ll try, and you’ll do anything to take his pain away. 

There was a reason Namjoon always came to your apartment when he was sad. He usually tried to pass it off as him wanting to come over because you had a French press and could make his favourite coffee, but the truth was that being at your place felt like home. The caramel-colored walls and small knick-knacks lining your shelves enveloped Namjoon with a strong sense of familiarity. No matter what judgment seemed to face him in the real world, the four walls of your apartment harbored all his secrets and never told a soul, and you did the same. 

Looking over from your kitchen to Namjoon on the couch and seeing him bundled up into a tiny ball made your heart yearn in pain for him. Namjoon always seemed like a big, powerful leader, and you had never seen him look more small than he did at this moment. You wished you could take a photo of him and send it to the Recording Academy to show them how their terrible treatment of BTS affected them. The Grammys milked BTS for every bit of clout that they could with no remorse, and you hated them deeply for it. Of course the biased judgement of the Grammys was no secret, and honestly if the Grammys didn’t mean so much to Joon and the rest of the boys you definitely would just shun the Grammys all together, but this was Joon’s dream and you wanted to support him in any way you could.

Hearing the noises of your French press machine whirring to life in the kitchen, Namjoon glanced at your frame bustling around the kitchen. By the time you are finished and are carrying a mug of coffee over to your living room, Namjoon has already tucked himself into your blankets and curled himself into the corner of your couch. Looking over at you, Namjoon could see the look on your face that was silently asking “are you okay?”. Before the words could leave your mouth, Namjoon already beat you to sharing his answer. 

“It’s all good,” he mumbled as he shrugged his shoulders.

You sighed as you walked towards him. You had dealt with loud angry Namjoon, quiet angry Namjoon, crying Namjoon, happy Namjoon,  and even more. But you’ve never been around this Namjoon: quiet, frustrated, disappointed Namjoon. 

Taking a seat beside Joon on the couch, you laid a hand on his thigh and looked him in the eye. 

“I have watched you say “it’s all good” for the past 6 hours. Every interview, the vlive, and with the boys too. This doesn’t have to be “all good” Joon. You worked incredibly hard, you were successful, and you were robbed of an award that should have been yours. It’s sad, it really is, and I’m sorry this happened to you.”

You cuddled yourself closer into Namjoon’s side, wrapping your arms around him in an effort to help shield him from the negativity which he was facing. Nestling your head into his chest, you continued on. 

“I’m sorry they used you like that. It’s not fair and it shouldn’t be happening. I’m proud of you yknow? You were right about how amazing it is that you’ve come this far. The first Korean act to ever give a solo performance at the Grammys? That will go down in history.”

You heard Namjoon sigh and place a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“I don’t know it’s just - to come this far and not win? It hurts. I don’t know, maybe I’ve been awake for too many hours and am just upset that I got fully dressed for absolutely nothing. But seeing Jimin so upset that he’s barely said a word all day? Hearing Yoongi crying in the bathroom because he wanted the award so badly? I know I wanted this award so badly, but I know the boys really wanted it too. I just feel like I’ve left them down as their leader.”

You could feel the pain in his voice. The rawness. The emotion. 

Kim Namjoon, the love of your life, was in pain and you felt like there was nothing you could do about it. If you could you would craft a Grammy yourself out of your own bare hands, but unfortunately you didn’t have any magical powers or welding skills that would let you do so. The best you could do is be a comforting voice and lend an ear to listen to his troubles.

As much as you wished you could handle this all by yourself, you definitely needed to call in some reinforcements. 

As you pulled your phone out and Namjoon could see you go to open twitter, he groaned. 

“Please no, Y/N. That dispatch article saying we failed was enough media coverage for me today,” he said as he turned his head away from the screen. 

“No I promise this is gonna be good, babe. Trust me on this ok? Give me 5 minutes and then we can stop if you want.” 

Relinquishing his time to you, Namjoon pulled you closer to him and leaned his head on your shoulder to get a good look at your phone. 

Namtiddie_appreciation: To Namjoon, the most fearless leader:  We are so proud of you. You have and will continue to lead BTS to keep breaking down barriers in the music industry, and it’s the Grammys loss if they can’t see your talent. 

shooky_cooky: I hope BTS knows how proud ARMY are of them tonight. They handled everything today with such grace and respect, and I have never been more proud to look up to them. The world needs more BTS!

Army_for_life613: I know BTS may not have one a Grammy tonight, but they are the reason I am alive today. I don’t think that I will ever be able to repay for the love that they have given me but I will keep supporting them forever! <3 

You looked up at Joon’s face to see the most genuine smile on Namjoon’s face that you had seen all day. 

Taking one hand to wipe the tears away from his face, you smiled at him. 

“There’s more you know,” you said, “I could read these to you all day. Probably for a couple days before I even start running out of tweets. But then we could move to Weverse to read the millions of comments over there too”

The sound of Namjoon’s laughter reaching your ears was the best sound you had ever heard. He stared down at you with a look of awe.

“I don’t know how you do it,” he said. 

“Do what?”

“Make everything ok no matter what. I barely knew how to comfort the boys, let alone myself. But somehow you always say the right things, so thank you.”

“You’re making me sound like a superhero, Joon. And as much as I would love to take credit for this, all I’m doing is reading out tweets. You could probably replace me with a robot if you wanted.”

Namjoon pulled you onto his lap and pulled you into the tightest hug. 

“Sure I could get a robot, but where could I find a robot that’s this cute?” he said as he pinched your cheeks. 

Giggling in Namjoon’s embrace, you continued to scroll on your phone, eventually showing Namjoon another set of tweets. 

“Speaking of ARMY though, they lowkey seem like they’re going to start a riot, not gonna lie. You should put out something to distract them or something,” you said with a chuckle.

With a quick nod, Namjoon pulled out his phone to show you the photo in question, ready to go in his Weverse drafts. 

You chuckled at the photo. That definitely is your sexy boyfriend. 

“That’s perfect babe, let them have at it.”

Soon enough, after posting the gym selfie, Namjoon’s photo had caused Weverse to break yet again (you’re never gonna stop making the joke about him breaking the internet). #BigHitclosethegyms was trending yet again, and you both had the time of your lives reading the funniest comments of the bunch. 

Tomorrow would be the start of BTS’s new journey to win a Grammy, but at least for today it was just about you and Joon reading funny comments and drinking French press coffee. And next year, you were sure that they were gonna win.

--♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡--

If you liked this, please interact/follow! Thank you for reading ♡ 

- Emily

[a-pretty-nerd]

Chapter 8

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter!Reader

Premis:

When The League of Villains discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you’re in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

Word count: 2,214

Warnings: mentions of sexual assault (sexual assault does not occur). 

A/N: 

This took so long for no reason, I am so sorry. I hate the holidays, I’m always so busy and can’t do anything I enjoy and it just drained all my time and energy. I’m so glad it’s over. Anywhoo, I hope ya’ll like this chapter! 

Chapter 7 Chapter 9

You starred up at the ceiling, nodding off into space as your mind wondered. The cracks in the ceiling painting an abstract paining, giving you much to ponder on. You had been thinking about Shigaraki. The man had plagued your thoughts. You knew very little about him and it bothered you.

He subverted every expectation you had about villains. He was ruthless and driven, yes. Crude and dastardly, of course. But the glimpses of kindness he showed you, made your mind spin. Why was he so kind to you? Why was he training you to use your abilities? And why, on God's green earth were you attracted to him?

It made your head spin to think about. About him. His eyes. It was those red eyes. So bright in color and deep in thought. The way he looked at you, like he saw you. When was the last time someone had looked at you that way? Reality would soon sink in after these thoughts. Reminding you that you should fear him, hate him even. That you should be working to get yourself free. But, you hadn't made a single attempt to escape. What was there to escape? You weren't in any immediate danger. In fact, you were being taken care of.

A knock at the door shook you from your train of thought. Without waiting for an answer, the man you knew as Dabi walked in, and closed the door behind you. His glassy blue eyes watched you as he moved. He stood up against the wall adjacent from you, watching you, leering over you. Maybe you were wrong. Maybe, this is where your torture begins. Wordlessly he looked away to pull out a pack of cigarettes, place one to his lips and then look back at you.

"You don't mind, do you?" He asked. You shook your head. He turned away to use his quirk to light the thing and then silently take a few drags as he looked off into the distance. Was he going to rape you? This was the perfect opportunity for him to. You were honestly shocked you hadn't been by now. Normally, kidnapping victims were sexually assaulted in some way. But no one seemed interested, until now.

Would you have to fight him off? Could you fight him off? If you screamed would anyone come to help you? Would he kill you?

"What do you want?" You asked after a few minutes of silence. He looked back at you and raised a brow.

"I just wanted to smoke in piece. It's raining outside." He told you before going back to his smoking. "I do have a question for you though."

"What?"

"You really the big guy's daughter?" He took another drag.

"Yeah. Why?" He shrugged.

"The way you talk about him. Sounds like you don't get along." You shrugged.

"I don't know him enough." Dabi scoffed before finishing his cigarette and stomping it out. He licked his lips and kicked his leg as he shifted his weight. His eyes darting back to the door before looking at you again.

"You ever wanna be a hero?" He chuckled.

"No." Your voice firm and decided. He smiled.

"Why?"

"It's a shit job where I'm from."

"It's a shit job here." He remarked. You nodded.

"I know. Heroes are shit." You shared a few smiles with one another.

"With a quirk like yours, you could really do some damage."

"I know."

"Something tells me this isn't your first time off your meds. It can't be."

"It's not."

"Care to share-"

"No." You barked. The idea of it made your stomach turn and your heart ache. You worked so hard to push that down you weren't about to have that break down in front of a stranger. Dabi raised his brows and threw his hands up in a mocking motion.

"Alright, fine. None of my business." He scoffed.

"What do you want?" You asked again, not satisfied with his previous answer. He sucked on his teeth for a moment before answering.

"Shigaraki asked me to over see your training while he's out."

"He's gone?" You asked softly, maybe a little too softly.

"Afraid so. So it's just you...and me..." He smiled. You held your legs up to your chest and pulled them close. He looked you over and then scoffed. "Don't worry, kid, I'm not that kind of villain. Now get up, I'm your trainer for now and I'm not nearly as forgiving as the boss." He turned and opened the door, waiting for you to follow.

"Do you know why?" You asked as you laid your feet flat on the concrete floor. Dabi looked back at you with an emotionless expression. A face he often wore, it screamed "auto-pilot." Like he wasn't really all there.

"Why what?"

"Why he's training me. I don't understand. Why waist time with a hostage like this? Isn't he worried I couldn't fight back and escape?" You asked. Dabi thought for a moment as he watched you pass through the door and out into the living room.

"What goes through that lunatic's mind is beyond me." He closed the door behind you. "But if I had to take a guess, I'd say he's planning something using your quirk."

"Like what?" He shrugged and walked passed you, turning a corner into what used to be the building's break room, now a make-shift kitchen where temporary supplies were being stored.

"Fuck if I know." He muttered as he went about his business. He opened and rummaged through the fridge before turning back to you. "You hungry?" He asked.

"Um...no." You lied. He starred at you before turning back.

"That's a pity. You need to eat. Keep up your strength. You can't use your quirk properly if you don't have the right fule. Here." He threw a small blurry package at you. The lite weight objected bounced between your hands for a moment before you finally grabbed ahold of it. Instant noodles. Right fule huh?

"This is fule?" You asked.

"What? Were you expecting the fucking food pyramid? Do we look rich to you?"

"No, I just...the way you were talking. Like we were gonna chug raw egg yolks, it's just funny." You smiled. You made yourself the sad excuse for a meal and sat at the small plastic table and ate as Dabi made his own disaster. You watched him. By all accounts, he was a relatively normal guy. It always shocked you, how normal everyone was. How they moved and acted. Not like the villain characters you'd imagined in your head. But just, people.

As he sat down across the table from you, he set down two canned sports drinks, sliding one over to your side without a word. You took it and popped it open before taking a sip. You furrowed your brow.

"Sugar free?" You asked. He looked up at you, as if you had interrupted something important.

"What? Sugars bad for you, makes me bloated." Your smile widened. He relaxed his shoulders and leaned back in his chair. "What the fuck is so funny?" He barked. It only made you laugh.

"I'm it's just...I don't know.."

"Just what?"

"It's just so normal!" You flashed a dazzling smile without even trying. "Everyone here is just so...I don't know, human. Nothing like I expected. They paint this big scary picture on the other side but, everyones just so normal. Even nice at times, yknow?" He brushed you off and went back to eating. "So what's the plan right now?" You asked, picking at your food.

"What?" He asked, annoyed.

"The plan, the big scary villain plan. Now that the plan with me clearly failed. What's the big picture?" Why were you so happy? What's with that smile, those eyes. Dabi looked you over, trying to figure you out.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah! I wanna know."

"Why?"

"Because." He looked at you like he was waiting for you continue. You starred back blankly.

"Because?"

"Because."

"Oh my god."

"C'mon."

"Eat your food." He ordered.

"Please?"

"Shut up and eat."

"Are you gonna use my quirk to blow up a hero agency?"

"No."

"A military target?"

"A what?"

"Government building?" He rolled his eyes and stomped his foot.

"I don't know! Alright!? I don't know." The room fell silent for a moment. You ate a few more bites before finishing and waiting for him.

"So Shigaraki doesn't share everything with you, I take it?" You interjected.

"No he doesn't."

"So you trust him?" You asked.

"No."

"But you still follow his directions regardless?" You poked.

"Our agendas line up, that's all you need to know."

"Mh, okay. What are your agendas exactly? I have a vague idea of Shigaraki's and Toga's but I don't know yours."

"Why do you care?"

"I...." you thought about it for a little while. "I'm just trying to make sense of it all. Why, things are the way they are." He starred at you for a while. His blue eyes piercing your flesh.

"You already know why."

"Wait? Wait? What do you mean, wait!?" Your mother shouted furiously across the meeting room table. Rows of tables lined with pro-heros watched her out burst.

"I know you're concerned, but with all due respect ma'am-"

"Concerned!? Concerned!? I'm beyond concerned, I am livid! We finally know where my daughter is being held captive and you want to wait!?" She cried.

"Mrs. Please, we understand your concerns and believe me, we're going to get her as soon as we can but we can't just bust in there like last time."

"Last time?" Xavier piped up. "This has happened before?" The heroes looked at one another with a puzzled expression. Your father gave an exhausted sigh.

"A few years ago, a student of mine was kidnapped in an attempt to recruit him. Thankfully we were able to rescue the student, but it cost us. A run-in with All for One, Shigaraki's old mentor, nearly killed Best Jeanist, and led to my retirement. Since then, Shigaraki and his followers have become much more of a threat. We can't risk starting an all out battle again. They've positioned themselves in a very populated area. If we aren't careful, Shigaraki alone could decimate everyone and everything. We have to be careful about this." He explained.

"This isn't just about Y/N's safety anymore. We have to find a way to get her out of there without endangering the city around her." Eraserhead noted, looking down at the papers he held in had hands.

"If that's the case, shouldn't we be sending in heroes who specialize in stelth? If we can get her out there without anyone noticing, we won't have to fight. That way, we have time to evacuate everybody in case of an all out fight." A young voice suggested.

"I could see how that would be effective, Deku. But in order to pull off a mission like that we'd need more information. At this rate, even a stealth mission would be a rash discussion." Bubble Girl stood to attention at the projection on the screen.

"What about the girl herself? She didn't say anything about their numbers or the hideout itself?" DynaMight asked, his brows furred, eyes starring off into space in thought.

"Unfortunate no, and theres no way to contact her further at the moment. It's too dangerous." Eraserhead answered.

"Ugh, Heroes. Useless." Xavier spat, throwing himself from his seat and storming out of the room. Toshinari watched him and then turned back to your mother who sat there with her head hung low. Her dainty fingers shoving tears away from her face.

"This is all your fault." She muttered before standing and following Xavier out of the room. Your father sat there, frozen, unable to process or move or speak. She was right. It was his fault, he thought. If only he had asked you to stay that night. If only he took better care of you, if only he spent more time with you, if only, if only, if...only...

"Um, uh...meeting adjourned. You're dismissed." Your father shuffled out into the hallway, his head hanging low.

"Um...A-All Might?" A soft voice spoke. He slowly turned to find young midoriya standing there. His eyes sparkling as they always did. They never lost their sparkle, after all he'd been through.

"Young Midoriya..."

"...I...I never knew you had a daughter..."

"You weren't supposed to. No one was." He answered with a blank and flat tone.

"Right. Of course. I just...well...she doesn't have..."

"No. One for All isn't genetic so it's not passed on to a user's children. Why? Are you worried that Shigaraki might still be after it?" Deku nodded. Toshinori sighed and looked off in the distance. "You heard the phone call. She seemed fine...she even laughed. I haven't heard her laugh since..." he trailed off. Since she was a child. He hadn't heard you laugh since you were little. The revelation tugged at his weakened heart, shattering it to pieces.

"Sir?" Deku asked.

"Promise me something young Midoriya."

"What is it?"

"The world needs dedicated and strong heroes," Deku looked up at him with a determined furrowed brow, "but don't let it rule your world."

Taglist: 

@craftybean13 @babayaga67 @imjustverable

@bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love

@kamenoyaki @hentaiqween101 @skzero-99 @justanotherlifeff

[mcd-ms-rants]

*opens tumblr*

*looks at activity*

8 notes??!!

hhhhh I don’t deserve u all thanks soo much <3

well u asked for it

be warned it’s super lengthy again

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE IN MCD SEASON 2:

• Right of the bat I’m just gonna say this season is a hot mess

• what is even going on here

• Why is Phoenix Drop so...untouched? Like yes it’s grown old with age but also everything looks ok not like burnt to the ground or anything

• I’m SURE Zane would have told someone in O’Khasis where he was going especially the Jury and you’re telling me that none of them care?? Not even Janus? His fave juror?

• If I were Janus I’d burn it down just sayin

• Why is Irene’s relic so glorified? I SHOULVE INCLUDED THIS IN THE LAST POST BUT WHY TF DOES ZANE NOT USE ESMUNDS RELIC LIKE WHYYY

• I don’t like how Irene has healing and everyone goes wow but we NEVER GET TO SEE ESMUNDS RELIC (I haven’t rewatched MCD in a while if he does use it lmk and ignore the above :) thx) I’m sure it’s pretty powerful considering in s3 Shad says “a spell by Esmund?” when he sees the protective barrier thing around the portal so it’s powerful and the Irene Dimension fight would have gone different with it

• Why does Aphmau act like a shit friend by venting to Laurance and then ditch him when he needs her most? Like you can’t just keep dumping your problems on him he’s got his own to deal with be supportive

• I LOVE VYLAD that’s it that’s all I have to say

• tho I wish we could have seen more of him and the relationship he shared with his brothers cuz angst time

• HOW is Aphmau able to disguise herself as Zane and WHY do people not question it? She has a different build and body structure, different colored eyes, two eyes not one, tan skin and some chest like cmon that disguise is fooling NO ONE also why is it normal for ‘Zane‘ to show up fifteen years after he was last seen? Why does this make no sense

• This may seem a bit much and honestly you’re welcome to your own opinions on it but I feel as though Zane should have had more of a role in s2. Hear me out. The way his character is written is that his untouchable status as a high priest is a big part of his character. It’s why he’s able to get away with so much shit. Removing that like in s3 ruined him (for me) and not using him at all in s2 seems like wasting a perfectly fine (albeit unoriginal) antagonist. Yes it would mean pretty much everything would change but yknow what maybe it needs to

• AARON. That’s it he’s the problem. In my opinion Aarmau should never have happened. Aph is a lord and doesn’t have time for a romantic relationship. Aaron is a broken shell of a man who definitely doesn’t have the time for a romantic relationship. They speak like 5 times properly and even then it’s nothing overly romantic (as far as I know?). I don’t think naming a child counts as romantic I always saw it as familial?? Aarmau ended being a one night stand that caused Aph so much grief and all through I was just thinking that it should never have happened anyway. They should’ve had a strong platonic bond instead. QUEERPLATONIC RELATIONSHIP. Imagine. it would’ve been so much better. It would’ve brought awareness to a community that is not always shown in the spotlight but is as deserving of it. Why does Aaron stick around after Zane is in the Irene Dimension anyway? Didn’t he say that he was there solely for revenge? Isn’t his part done? Why is he still trailing after Aphmau

• THAT DEATH SCENE THO. Zane and Aaron both die from some unknown magical thing. what is it? I have no clue all I remember is that Aph found it somewhere. someone remind me? I don’t understand why Zane was killed off in the very way they were trying to avoid in s1 I get it it’s been fifteen years real time but...it seemed so underwhelming for me. Anyone else?

• Ive seen a lot of people mention this one before but Laurence should’ve been Shad’s descendant not Aaron it didn’t make sense to me

• WHAT IS THE POLITICAL SYSTEM OF O’KHASIS. It’s such a crucial part of MCD yet we never hear of it at all. Since Aph is a lord it matters a lot. I can elaborate more on this if anyone wants me to!!

• WTF is the lore here. In ep 100 Hyria says that Irene had no children and in ms s6 flashbacks I see a child? Whose is it? What is going on??

too tired to add more rn but if you reached here thanks once again I never expected any of this <3

[seancekitsch]

Not to Touch the Earth

this is a prize buck 60s au bc apparently i have enough of an ego to do that

a/n & warnings: drug reference, alcohol references, no actual drug use, unprotected car sex, use of the word daddy, roughness, cult references, orgy references, none of this is even really prize buck canon but yknow we might reference it again for a joke or two. natural born killers reference also

“Some outlaws lived by the side of a lake, The minister's daughter's in love with the snake,” you sing off-key, “Who lives in a well by the side of the road. Wake up, girl, we're almost home!”

You punctuate the end of the verse by howling out the window of the car Klaus was using, voice being swallowed by the vastness of the desert somewhere on the California border. Klaus drove on, trying to remember a time you were ever so free. He figures you probably never were, not sober. Not totally sober like now. He was coming up on three years, you on six months, and your new favorite activity was definitely driving out into the desert, as far away from Klaus’ little commune as possible, and singing songs that hadn’t been written yet and making love on the hood of the car. 

He smiles and looks over, watching you lean out the window bathing in the golden light of the sunset and he has to laugh. Is this just what you’re like in a car? Or is it being trapped in time? Your first week here was spent avoiding any of his followers and trying to talk to any of the universities in San Francisco, but none of them would hire you because a woman with a doctorate was rare, and a woman professor was even rarer. You stopped trying in a fit of anger after one Dean told you your ‘husband was a brave man for letting his wife become so educated’ before offering to let you take undergraduate classes because those were available to women. So you leaned into helping him hide from the Destiny’s Children. You had fun here. You kept each other in check being sober, you kept him from being fully engulfed by the group. You like these people, you just wish they didn’t like you and your partner as much as they do.

But the times when the two of were alone were the best. Klaus loves stealing you away from everyone else and being with you like everything’s normal. He loves you without that twinge of shame you carry with you, without waking up with tears in your eyes and thinking he doesn’t notice them. You haven’t been crying or hiding it from him here. He loves how goofy you allow yourself to be, the way you don’t constantly hold yourself back.  He remembers back on earlier today, when you’d snuck up on him, licked a warm stripe up his neck and sang lyrics from the very song you were piecing together now.

“Not to touch the earth, not to see the sun. Nothin left to do but run run run,” you sang, only for him.

“Let’s run.”

You didn’t have to say it again before he grabbed the nearest set of car keys and was swatting at your ass to get you running for the passenger seat. 

You feel the hot air hit your skin, and you can’t remember a time you ever actually liked the heat. You never saw yourself even visiting southern California. Sobriety re-introduced you to the cold and you greeted her like an old lover. You like your cold weather and your jackets and your fucking hospital socks you stole and stockpiled which now didn’t even exist yet. But the heat here is different, it kisses your skin like Klaus does, frees you from the burdens of life fifty years from now. The heat is a reminder that you don’t have the struggles you had in 2019, the heat is a reminder you can rebuild yourself. You know you have to go back sometime, but you can be selfish and steal this time with Klaus. You squint into the setting sun on the horizon as Klaus makes the car slow, then veers off the empty road to park. You’d have the moonlight soon, which meant a cool night with him all to yourself. By the time he walks around to your side of the car, he blocks the sun from your view. Your eyes trail up from the tip of that ugly fucking beard he’s got growing to his chin, to his lips. To the grin he sports, saves only for you.

“Do you think they’ve noticed were gone?”

“Why? Worried Keechie’s missing you?” you snort.

“Keechie? God, no. Although, if I were you I’d be worried Madelaine was getting lonely by now”

Right; you were hiding from two members of the group in particular. Your first mistake was attempting to have sex in a five mile radius of the group. You didn’t think they’d barge into your tent and invite themselves to join. But, ever the adventurous and slightly stupid, you let them. Now two of the four that had been in your tent  were trying to recreate that moment again.

“Not my fault I rocked her world. You jealous, Prophet?”

“At first I was impressed because I didn’t think you swung that way, but yes. Yes, terribly.”

That probably isn’t much of a joke. Sobriety put a bit of a possessive streak in Klaus, and as much free love is flowing, it’s nice to feel like you belong to someone. And you do belong to Klaus, in every way that counts for your group. But you’d struck a chord with Madelaine and now shes creeping in on Klaus’ territory.  

He pulls you from the car, literally pulls you. His hands come up under your armpits and lift you from the car window until you can step out of the window and he can lower you down onto the sand. He’s thankful you’ve learned your lesson, as the last time he did this you weren’t wearing sandals and burned your feet on the sand. He bends to let you pluck the wide brimmed hat from his head and you place it on your own as you walk to the trunk to fetch a blanket. Dancing, not walking, he thinks. The way you walk is more like dancing. You grab a blanket from the trunk and sit with him until it’s night. You sit with him close enough to reach out and touch, but not quite. It’s in these moments you can close your eyes and perfectly imagine you’re back in your studio apartment with him, listening to the record player and sharing a bottle of wine, thinking about the narrowly avoided apocalypse and job hunting for him. You can close your eyes and imagine inviting his siblings over to crowd your apartment for a loud night of laughing and take out. You can hold his hand and think of how very little space the two of you took up in the world and how comforting it felt. 

When you open your eyes again it’s dark. Perfect. Night falls quickly in the desert. You look over to see Klaus equally as relaxed, an easy smile painted across his entire face, worry lines smoothed away.  He hums a song you recognize.

“Sweet Jane? Don’t you think that’s a little too ‘Mickey and Mallory’ for us?”

He hums a little more of the song before he answers.

“I was just thinking if we mixed blood in a wedding ceremony our paramours would leave us alone,” there’s a hint of something dark in his eyes, “Now get on the hood.”

It’s the way that he says it, low and commanding, that has you jumping up onto the hood of the car and eagerly arranging yourself in a provocative pose, legs splayed and leaning on your arms to arch you back a little, just to entice him even more. That’s all part of the dance, and here more often than not he leads. He commands and positions you the way he likes it and rewards you in kind. He actually looks a bit like a god figure or a superhero the way he saunters over to you in the dark and crawls above you onto the hood, sandal clad feet standing on the grill so he has more leverage for what he has in mind. 

“Now, are you ready for Daddy?

You have to snort at that.

“Daddy? If anyone is daddy here, it’s me babe.”

He grips your bare thigh, just above the knee, then gives it a little warning slap. Not hard, just a little more than nothing.

“I don’t think you’re in the position to call yourself anything besides what I feel like calling you, doctor.”

Any retort to that comment, which honestly stung a little, died on your tongue when a low growl rumbles from his throat and his mouth connects with your stomach, biting at the cloth of your tank top and the skin underneath. You sink back down and stare at the stars, whimpering as you count them and let Klaus tease you as he undresses you. 

“If you were the prophet I’d be entirely devoted to you,” He says as he pulls your shorts down your legs, “I’d follow you everywhere on Earth, I’d do anything you asked of me.”

“Don’t you already?” you laugh.

“I do,” He confirms, “I do, I do, I do” and punctuates each confirmation with a little nip at the inside of your thigh, the same one he had just slapped. The beard he’s been growing out tickles as you squirm beneath him, hands roaming wherever they wish but solidly keeping you in place for him. You think back on your first time with him, how eager he’d been to please, how you wanted to be the one he was pleasing, and how far you’ve come together. His fingers wind up your legs like ivy on an old statue and pause at your underwear, teasing for a moment, before pulling them aside and plunging two fingers into you without warning. He pushes them in deep, scissoring them back and forth a few times, before pulling them back out, and sucking on them. If youre moaning or swearing, you can't hear yourself. An appetizer for a meal, or something equivalent of that. The delighted moan that echoes from his throat as he sucks you from his fingers sends shivers up your spine, just knowing you're in for it tonight. Propping yourself up on your elbows, you dare to meet his eyes, dark and stormy and hungry for you. He has the audacity to give you his sweetest smile before roughly pulling your underwear away from your body and heavily dropping his knee onto the car hood between your own. Klaus himself is intoxicating, you didn't need drugs or alcohol. It was so easy for him to consume your senses, and you readily let him. And when he finally kisses you, you feel yourself drowning. Really truly drowning. The way his tongue dances with your own has you gripping his shoulders like hes the last rock before a riptide pulling you under. It takes him no time at all to have his pants undone and to be grinding himself against you. This is a glimpse of the Klaus of 2019, humping against you and gently whimpering into your mouth. But quickly he pushes that away, lining himself up with you and pulling back enough from you to make eye contact as he pushes himself in. No matter how domineering he could be in the 60s with you, he makes sure to look at you, to ask those silent questions, to be granted that permission to absolutely take over you.With each thrust, long and deep, punctuated with a needy moan, he takes a little more of you. And you willingly let him, and give him everything you can. 

You probably look like one of those renaissance paintings beneath him, as he thrusts hard deep fast, your breasts exposed like all of the biblical women, your body contorted on the hood of the car, like one of those angels in anguish. There was no where for your hands to find purchase that wasn't Klaus, so your hands are far up behind you, palms planted on the windshield to give yourself a better angle, a better arch of your back for Klaus to wrap his arms firmly around you, so he could kiss your chest and the long expanse of your neck and shoulders while he kept his pace. He held you as lose as possible, and for a moment you imagine its just him. You as nothing but an extension of himself, your pleasure mixing and becoming his pleasure. When he got like this, its easy to imagine he didn't have many lovers before you that cared that much about his pleasure. Sure they probably thought he was a fun time, as that was a given, but it was probably rare someone actually cared about what he was feeling. You like that he trusts you with this bare part of himself. No, you love it. You love-

A deep moan from his mouth vibrates against your breast, you feel it even more than you hear it, and it brings you back to where you are now, looking down at his lust filled, indulgent expression. 

“Keep looking at me,” he commands, thrusting harder, making you almost squeak at the angel he's hitting, “It's just me, and you, and the coyotes out here.”

Your hands scramble to grab the sides of his face as you start to move your hips to fuck back against his thrusts, eager to come for him while hes watching you. Any attempt to praise him comes out as stuttered moans and fragments of words, but there's a devilish smile on his face that tells you he knows what you're saying. 

He pulls one arm from under you, slams it on the car below right next to your head, and goes in for the kill. He’s merciless in his thrusts as he kisses and nips at your fingers that he can reach. He doesnt guide you but throws you off of the cliff into bliss, a scream parting from your lips as he refuses to slow his pace. This more dominant and possessive Klaus is wild, selfish in a beautiful way. In his face you see indulgence personified, a modern Dionysus filling each urge that swept over you. He doesn't let you calm down, doesn't let you catch your breath, overstimulating you as he reaches his own release. He comes equally as loudly, with a shout of your name and “oh, lover” tumbling from his lips before he stills, and captures your lips on his own. 

He kisses you slowly, like he's drinking in the taste of you, holding you still, feeling your skin melt with his. It's hard to tell where he ends and you begin, but you prefer it this way. It's just the two of you in the desert. Just the two of you in the world. There's plenty of water in the canteen, and after a drink to refresh you, you'll be tearing at each other again, just far enough off the road no one will see you. He pulls out of you with a hiss, like it hurts him not to be inside of you, and you find yourself involuntarily whining at the loss as well. He grabs the canteen and returns to put it to your lips, then his own, then you sit and talk of nothing and everything sweet, needlessly flirting and preening each others egos with loving words until you're both ready to go again. It continues like this until one of you falls asleep on the other. This is the desert routine. 

When you wake around sunrise, covered in bruises and hickies, hair tangled to hell, you're wrapped in the blanket from the trunk, Klaus’ shirt used as your pillow. He’s just outside, naked as you are, greeting the dawn. Something about his posture beckons you to join him, and on shaking legs you pull yourself from the car, unsteadily stepping until you can wrap your arms around his torso, his hand reaching to grab for you and sliding over your shoulders. He repositions you so you stand together, not with you behind him. The way its supposed to be. And then the moment the sun is fully in the sky, he greets it by crowing like a rooster. Loudly, freely. You join in.

[ask-artsy-oncie]

So I’m kinda in a meh/apathetic headspace in regards to my mental health right now. Maybe it would be best to just let some thoughts out. 

Firstly, I do want to apologize for making stupid, borderline inflammatory posts and throwing them out there onto tumblr dot com, I know that’s never the best course of action. However, I really, really do not appreciate anons sending vague “are you okay”s at me. If you’re not close enough to me where you can’t PM me (relatively) face-to-face, then I really wouldn’t like random inquiries about my mental health from you. Maybe it’s just because I don’t 100% trust anons (I’ve been here for a decade, I’ve seen some shit, can you really blame me?) but I think I ought to make myself clear on that. Are we clear on that? cool. 

I don’t know... I’ve felt so lost and tired recently, moreso than usual.

I’ve always had a massive complex about annoying people, being too self-indulgent, not having good ideas or opinions or what-have-you. People who have known me for a while almost definitely know that. I don’t think it all necessarily exists in a vacuum, either I have a genuinely hard time coming up with objectively good ideas. Sometimes I’m just straight-up “head empty” mode. I’m also often really opinionated and sometimes intend to die on hills that people aren’t really meant to die on (or are even necessarily worth dying on). I can get way too wrapped up on meaningless things because my brain is too hyperfocused on this one thing, or maybe something I rely too heavily on for comfort is... I don’t know how to put it.... put at risk? Challenged? I have a lot of mental issues and real life issues, though I’m not claiming to be massively oppressed or anything, but I tend to cling to comforts a little too desperately. And I’m not just talking about like. Media. Just comforts in general. Sometimes I’ll spend too much of the day laying in bed. Sometimes I cling to old relationships or old forms of relationships or I constantly worry about the day I’ll inevitably no longer have the same relationships I have now. 

I’ve known I needed therapy for a while now. I’m waitlisted and everything, but I need to go about actually choosing a therapist to see and I’ve been dragging my feet on that so I guess that’s my bad. I’ll get to it. Shit’s overwhelming, yknow? 

Anyways I know I have a lot of these flaws and problems and I think my horrible anxieties about being too annoying and whatnot is just a really extreme form of self-reflection. Maybe. Not entirely sure. Maybe a therapist could tell me.

I get way too passionate, way too easily, and it’s almost always followed by a super intense period of shame, like, to the point where I’m desperate to isolate myself and destroy my relationships with other people, because then at least I’m actually trying to destroy a relationship by being a bad person, rather than someone leaving me for... I don’t know, being too happy? Caring too much? Talking too much? Just. Shit I have less control over. 

I’ve tried putting a cap on it, suppressing everything. Trying not to indulge too much, trying not to be so happy and talkative, straight-up deleting messages I think might be too annoying the second I send them. Trying to be inoffensive through being unnoticeable. I’m trying to do that now, honestly. It’s why I joked about deleting my blog. All it does is hurt and make me go fucking nuts because I’m bottling up a lot in doing that, I know. I’m just not fully convinced I don’t just deserve to feel that way.

There are a lot of points in my life where I’m convinced that my best course of action in succeeding or keeping people from being put-off by me is to just sit down and shut up and draw what I’m told to draw. To just completely lose my agency in drawing. It makes sense, when you feel like you don’t have any good ideas of your own, you just illustrate others’. And there are many, many points where I have done this out of a place of love. Fuck, most of what I’ve drawn for Lolly’s writing has come out of a place of genuine love, not just for her work, but for her. A lot of what I’ve drawn for Bethany (for any REAL long-time followers reading this) has been like that, too. But there are also points where it honestly just feels like my only purpose is to be a tool through which others may visualize their whims. That if I dare inject too much of myself into things, they’ll be permanently ruined. And then there’s the shame I feel in having wanted to impart a piece of myself into a work - a demerit for being too selfish or self-important to deem my whims anywhere near good or important enough to be included. 

I have so many ideas. So many opinions and thoughts and feelings and genuine insight that I’ve suppressed or deleted because I either feel like that’s what’s expected of me, or I’m straight-up told that my thoughts and opinions are bad and wrong. Like. Fuck me for having opinions on animated media levels of being shut-down. And you know, I’ve noticed something in the past decade of being an insufferable opinionated prick about things like that - that it’s actually easier for me to enjoy media when I’m allowed to be negative and critical of it. When I am allowed to just share my thoughts. And I don’t mean like, without being disagreed with, I mean like, in an environment where I’m made to feel like I actually can share these thoughts. When I can pinpoint and analyze what I didn’t like or what made me upset, it can be a lot easier for me to then move on and be able to focus on aspects that I genuinely do like. Like, holy fuck, it is SO much easier for me to pick-and-choose aspects of a certain sequel film that I actually like and feel comfortable saying I like than it was for me to do with the original, because I no longer have an incredibly toxic person in my life (or at least, in my life as much).

But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had this kind of experience since then, like. There are STILL things I struggle to move past because I have been made to feel like I just can’t fucking talk about them without being insufferable (sorry if I’m overusing that word - it just feels like the best word the feeling I’m trying to describe) or just straight-up ruining something for someone I care about. Keeping shit like this in does crazy shit to me, for real, and there’s still a large part of me that tells me “Fuck you. Suck it up. None of this shit matters.” Y’know? Because in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn’t. And then there’s the shame that comes from having cared so much in the first place. It’s a fucking cycle. There’s some shit that’s just irreparable ruined for me because of this and that SUCKS.

I don’t like losing comforts. Fuck, I hate it, really. And I’m not talking about new comforts coming along and catching my attention as an old comfort begins to wane, I’m talking like. Destroying relationships, feeling SO MUCH shame surrounding a comfort media that it’s too difficult to enjoy it no matter how hard I try, or having too hard of a time disassociating a comfort with a horrible event or person. And it’s feeling like at LEAST one of these is starting to happen to me again and Good Gods it’s just. It’s so terrifying. 

But who do I tell? When my primary worry is annoying or offending or hurting people? Y’know? I can’t just vent to one single person to this all the time, that isn’t fair. But it gets to a point where my brain tells me “No, you can’t talk to ANYONE about this because that’s rude and wrong and a true friend wouldn’t do that. There’s a reason why you can make any number of concerning posts, messages, private ramblings, whatever, and the people you’re closest to won’t ask you what’s wrong.” 

And, yeah, honestly, I do think it’s true that the people I consider my closest friends won’t read this. I actually don’t believe the average person will read this, or at least get this far. I genuinely do just talk too much and it’s a lot for most people to deal with. Otherwise, I talk too little, and probably enter the “you should be able to read my MIND” level of expectations, which, of course, isn’t far. I understand, I swear I do, it just takes some time to come to terms with every time I get wrapped up in my stupid mental stuff. And I also promise that I try to give these people the same kind of response I want, y’know? I try to look out for any worrying behavior and try to offer an ear and help in any way that I can. I don’t think expecting the same in return is fair, I just worry about any of them being like me, and I’m willing to play to that if it’s necessary. I’ll break quiet streaks for that shit, y’know?

Honestly, these stupid quiet streaks are probably more unbearable for me than they are even noticeable for most people. It sucks. I just wish my mind was normal so I A) wouldn’t have these insecurities to begin with, because B) I would never end up exhibiting the behavior to warrant such insecurities.

There’s so much shit I want to talk about, to analyze, or explore, that I want to share with the world, or at least with people I love, that I probably never will because my stupid brain has already decided that all this stupid shit is better kept to myself where it can rot and be forgotten eventually. Which is fine, in the grand scheme of things, I guess, because I functionally have never really been the guy who comes up with ideas (at least, good ideas) I’m just the pencil, the one who I guess makes things visual? I can’t even bring myself to say “I bring the ideas to life” because that’s pretentious and untrue. These ideas are already alive because they come from brilliant minds. 

I don’t even think it’s fair for me to call myself a character designer unless the characters are my own. Otherwise, I’m just following the directions of a much more competent conceptualizer (there’s a reason my characters barely have any... well, character). That’s the reason why I removed my unearned credit as the character designer for Ty from Swindle’s description, because I really don’t deserve that kind of credit. It’s why the asks about the designing process of Ty have been left unanswered, because, fuck, what do I even say? “I just did what Lolly told me to do, just like I did with all of Swindle. Please don’t give me that kind of credit, I know I falsely ascribed it to myself earlier, and I want to rectify that”? I guess I could have, actually, now that I’m typing this. But people always get fucking upset with me when I try not to take credit, even when it’s shit that isn’t mine!! So I don’t know what to do!! I don’t know what to fucking do!!! Because I just don’t fucking want to make people upset or unhappy!!!!!!!

I’m sorry, this post is too long and I’ve worked myself up and I’m no longer apathetic. I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep so big win for my complexion, honestly. 

Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I guess getting this shit out of my system is probably best to do in a big tumblr post no one will read. 

I don’t want anons about this. If I can just ask one thing. Please.

[charrfie]

Alright now that its officially Forzen Friday let's try this post again since it didn't show up in the tags last time-

I'M FINALLY MAKING A FORZEN HC DUMP (kinda AU-ish territory but not really idk exactly) AND NONE OF YOU CAN STOP ME

There are also a few other hcs sprinkled in here related to other characters (like Darnold and Sunkist for example) but Forzen is the main focus!! Despite him being a minor character I latched onto him and fleshed him out sm yall have no idea

Everything under the cut bc this shit is gonna be LONG (and there's also some more doodles that take up a bit of space!)

Also uhh if people like this I might take one for another hlvrai character later bc I have a lot to say about everyone!!

Forzen moved from France to the US with his parents when he was around 12 or 13 (yes, I'm aware that Scorpy and Holly are French Canadian and not France French but that doesn't mean Forzen can't be, I'm just being sure to say this now before someone says something to me about it)

He wanted to go to college and eventually become a game dev, but he didn't have the funds or the support for it (his family thought anything to do with games would amount to a career that would go nowhere).

Because of this, he instead was recruited in the US military. He originally had no intent to join, but after constantly being harrassed recommended to join and being entertained with the concept of being able to afford and pay for college, he caved (hence him telling the science team that his only goal is "to graduate").

He doesn't like his job very much if that wasn't clear.

And neither do most others that have the same job like him.

He was put on a "team" of his own, Team Nice, which was likely arranged as a guaranteed way to get Forzen in the way of danger, and with no one else fighting beside him, he would be easily dealt with- no one would have to worry about him bothering them again. However, he somehow manages to survive all of this, of course. Somehow. He likely knows the real reason he was assigned his own team (if you can even call it that), but refuses to fully acknowledge it for his own sanity, and instead pretends that he's some big, important person on a team that ranks so highly, he's the only one qualified to be in it. (I apologize ahead of time for giving one of the most shitposty and throwaway characters in hlvrai this much depth and angst, there was just potential there leave me alone)

Fast forward to the actual events of hlvrai though. This hc is a little outlandish but I really like the concept!!! So, at one point, Forzen is killed, presumably by some kind of creature that was out and about due to the RenCas. The science team + Benrey stumble across him (act 2 part 2 at around 13 min in for anyone curious), and Benrey decides to use the healing beam Sweet Voice on him. While Benrey and Forzen may not be on good terms anymore, Benrey still very begrudgingly cares about him and didn't want to see him get injured or die. Forzen wakes up a minute or so after the science team exits the room, assuming that he just passed out, nothing more, and goes along with things as normal.

He meets Darnold a while after his first (concious) run in with the science team. Darnold has recently dealt with the science team and helped them out, but is pretty bummed that he couldn't travel with them, as everything was far too scary and dangerous for him. Forzen, wanting to escape Black Mesa and the military altogether, ends up making a deal with him that he'll handle all the dangerous stuff if Darnold can show him a way out.

Now, meeting Darnold is a very new experience for him, since Darnold actually enjoys his company, and actually wants to befriend him! At first, Forzen openly tries to act as if Darnold is a huge deal to put up with- he goes along with with the whole "if you're escaping outta this hellhole with me, you better keep up" kinda deal (despite the fact that he kinda NEEDS Darnold to escape and show him the way out). His walls are still very much so raised, and he doesn't let his guard down as he's not used to others caring about him and his safety. But as time passes, he begins to realize that maybe Darnold DOES want to be his friend, and the tough guy act becomes less apparent.

To preface this next one- Sunkist sensed that something was up (he has a next-level sense of danger when it comes to Tommy's safety) and got to BM as fast as he could, searching every hallway for his boy. This is when Forzen finds him!! He figures that taking Sunkist as a hostage would be enough to get extra info out of the team that's been practically plaguing him lately.

Darnold doesn't know about Forzen's plans to take Sunkist hostage, so is completely fine with traveling alongside him. At one point though, Forzen and Darnold get separated (Forzen occupies him, makes sure hes safe and then runs off to deal with Sunkist). Darnold immediately uses his surroundings to model a quick little teleporter device to get Forzen back, because, you know, the man's a genius. Idc if its logical or not just go with it shhh I've gotta fill in the plotholes with something. That's why Forzen disappears all of a sudden after he's cornered by the science team. He just pops back in front of Darnold suddenly, all confused and loopy from the whole teleportation thing.

As things begin to wind down, Darnold and Forzen make it out of BM and start making a break for it, no idea how they'll get away from BM and to safety somewhere- they didnt really think things through.

Fortunately (or unfortunately for Forzen really), however, G-man picks both of them up. He means to drop Darnold off at Tommy's party, as he observed that Darnold helped his son to safety and is grateful for it. Forzen, though, he intends to "deal with" for messing things up so badly with Tommy, Sunkist, and all of Tommy's friends. This is where Darnold finds out about everything Forzen did and frankly gets really pissed with him since he thought he only had good intentions??? Luckily though, Darnold convinces G-man to give him a second chance, let him go to Tommy's party and apologize, and try things again. G-man, for some reasons agrees- probably bc hes in a good mood, as it IS his son's birthday.

The party is pretty uncomfortable to say the least. Tommy's extremely hesitant to talk to Forzen, but he does, and they end up on neutral terms by the end of it. Uneasy, but neutral. Tommy and Darnold hit it off though, and Tommy opens the invitation to Darnold that he can visit his place anytime now that everything at BM is over with.

As everyone's getting ready to leave, Forzen mentions to Darnold that he doesn't have a place to stay, seeing as the entire military was kinda. Yknow. Wiped out. Obviously wouldn't wanna go back to check anyways. And he has no interest in going home to his parents. So Darnold agrees to let him stay with him since they've become good pals over the course of everything.

Over time, Darnold visits Tommy more and more often. He starts bringing Forzen along, which Tommy is iffy of at first, but their dynamic starts to change and become more comfortable once Tommy sees that Forzen isnt interested in being enemies anymore.

Sunkist and Forzen still don't get along for a very long time. Or, well- it's moreso that Sunkist is very wary about Forzen, despite him not doing anything to harm either Sunkist or Tommy.

Oh yeah and almost forgot to mention one of my favorite hcs (that I PROMISE you started out as a joke but then I got attached) is Sunkist can talk!! So his first spoken interaction with Forzen after Forzen comes over to visit for the first time is literally just him being all threatening and laying down the ground rules bc he doesn't want Forzen to hurt Tommy at all in any way. And of course Forzen about has a heart attack bc "HUH??????? THERE'S A DOG THAT IS SPEAKING HUMAN WORDS TO ME"

UHH I HAVE MORE (I've written out so much shit about dynamics and what I'd think would happen even after all of this) BUT I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE TOO LONG like it already is SO I SUPPOSE I'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT FOR NOW!!!! I hope this isn't too ooc either, I just have Emotions about this series and write too much so why not share it yknow

[ckret2]

Okay so I got an ask like,

anonymous asked: whose ur favorite Hazbin character? Like your absolute #1 and why?

and technically my answer is Alastor, but Sir Pent is such a close second that I gave my reasons for him too in that ask, and now I’m making a second post about Alastor.

Reasons I really like Alastor but like, only slightly more than Sir Pent:

- Honestly “I can suck ya dick” *IMMEDIATE BRAIN BREAK FACE* is probably the moment I, like, mentally latched on to Alastor’s character, and at that point I don’t think I even knew yet that the creator had said he was ace. It just... I could feel the aceness in my soul. Like that thing where Jedi run into somebody and go “oh you’re strong in the Force, I can tell.” That was just such a perfect and succinct ace joke, and by that I mean like it feels like a joke from an ace perspective. Like it was so relatable.

- tbh half my reasons for liking Alastor are “oh that’s relatable,” which is hilarious, because like... I don’t like characters because I relate to them, ever, but because I think they’re interesting in their strange/different ways. Alastor is the sole exception I can think of where half the reasons I like him is because I look at him and go “oh big mood.” Other ace or aro characters I’ve seen in the past just make me go “oh... okay. cool. nice, representation for me” and then I don’t really care about them. Alastor, though, the SECOND I learned he was ace, something in my brain went “FUCK YES. ONE OF OURS.” I immediately sat down and started writing a character study fic about Alastor being ace/aro in the exact same precise way that I’m ace/aro, and that was even before we got confirmation that he was aro. I was ready to go all in on him anyway.

- Half the reason I like his ace/aro-ness when I don’t care about it as much on other characters is because like... usually, when you get an ace/aro character, it goes one of two ways:

1) their entire character is built around/“in tune with” their ace/aro-ness, in a way. Most obvious when you have the stereotypical “robot/alien that cannot love,” but also seen in “character that is naive and pure and innocent and lustless,” “character that acts like an actual literal child,” “character that acts like a bad autism cliche,” “character that’s too cold or cruel or emotionless to feel love,” etc. And that’s boring, when they’re only ace/aro because the writer cannot imagine a character Like That being any other way, or because the writer cannot imagine an ace/aro being Any Other Way. 

Or, 2) they’re written as “too normal,” as in, like, NOTHING ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY or life experiences or anything seems shaped AT ALL by the fact that they do not share an internal sense of lust and/or romance that most of the rest of the human species not only has, but also is obsessed with.

And Alastor falls in neither camp. He’s gregarious and talkative and puts on little performances wherever he goes, and he obnoxiously butts in on somebody else’s group project by begging for an opportunity to help out and then obnoxiously volunteers his friends who hate him to help with the group project, and he’s manipulative and dangerous and secretive and violent, and he hides his emotions and he disguises when he’s feeling weak... and also the quickest way to throw him off his game is to make a sexual pass at him because he’s blindsided so hard by it that it’s like for a moment there he forgot that sex exists.

And that’s what I want to see. A character whose personality isn’t based on/tied into his ace/aro-ness, BUT we can clearly see his character IS INFLUENCED by the fact that he views the world through a completely different lens from everyone else.

I can imagine that Alastor had to puzzle through What Is Love/What Is Desire, purely on a psychological “what’s going on inside other people’s heads?” level, as an outside observer incapable of participating it and trying to understand it based on anecdotes and fictionalized accounts and descriptions and conversations, comparing it to the emotions inside his own head and trying to go “so it’s kind of like this feeling plus that one and those, but More, and Different, and in that Other Direction.” I can imagine that as a kid Alastor “decided” to have crushes because he knew it was about that time it should be starting, and it hadn’t happened by then, so maybe what he needs to do is pick whoever he thinks is best-looking and get going with the crushing on them, right? I can imagine that Alastor spent his teen years waiting for his desires to “turn on” the way they did for everyone else, and being slightly puzzled when they took so long, but also okay with it because the more he thought about it the more it seemed like it was probably a nuisance—no one around him was someone he’d like to be attracted to—so he was fine with the fact it was taking so long, and he sort of assumed that it wasn’t because he didn’t have the capacity for desire but because none of his peers were desirable to him. I can imagine that he had his first kiss at like fifteen and thought it was horrible and gagged on it, and within an hour decided this was absolutely hilarious.

I can imagine Alastor having all these experiences—which are experiences I had. I’ve never seen another ace/aro character I can easily and naturally imagine having a single experience in common with me. Because no other ace/aro characters feel to me like ace/aro characters. They’re either characters with an ace/aro sticker arbitrarily and meaninglessly slapped on them, or they’re a walking stereotype about lovelessness.

- Besides Alastor’s spectacular Asexuelle Panique™ face, the other single line that made me latch onto him was “Why does anyone do anything? Sheer! Absolute! Boredom!” There are some very specific character types that I’m an absolute sucker for, and one of them is: extremely powerful character, at the top of their game, unstoppable and uncontrollable and unmatched, a loner who likes it that way, BUT they’re bored as hell, either because they’ve met all their goals or because they don’t know how to set any—and the boredom is eating them up inside, it’s driving them slowly mad, the sheer tedium of trying to fill one day after another with nothing to do is weighing down on them, if depression is usually compared to a heavy rain then this depression is like an endless empty waiting room, or depression like solitary confinement, or depression like an unmoving sun shining on an infinite flat desert, the depression of a completely empty hollow life leveled flat by infinite interminable boredom, a boredom they would do ANYTHING to get rid of, a boredom that’s like a withdrawal, a boredom that makes your hands shake and your pulse quicken with desperate need for the drug to stave off the withdrawal symptoms, but god, you don’t even know what the drug IS, you just know you NEED it, some form of stimulation, ANY stimulation, you’re going mad in this empty desert with your hands trembling and the withdrawal clouding your mind—

Have I mentioned that I have ADHD? Did you know that untreated ADHD can result in depression specifically due to chronic mental understimulation? I keep telling myself “bruh, don’t headcanon Alastor as having ADHD, you don’t even headcanon that he has any other traits that line up with ADHD symptoms,” but like. That one line. “Sheer! Absolute! Boredom!” I felt that in my very bones. There is desperation in that man. There is desperation in him that speaks to me like nothing else does. Like to the point that if it turns out that Alastor secretly DOES have a secret evil manipulative scheme going on I’m going to be annoyed/disappointed specifically because his driving motive isn’t boredom, lmao.

Anyway I feel for characters like that. I like to explore that desperate despairing boredom. I like to force them through that understimulation withdrawal, drive them to do stupid wild desperate things to try to get the stimulation they need. And then, when I’m feeling nice, I like to help them find a cure. Usually I imagine the cure is “dude, you’re such a loner that you’ve cut yourself off from the rest of the human race, you have NO human connections, even when you’re technically interacting with other people you’re still completely emotionally isolated inside your own shell. Make some goddamn friends and start to care about other people and their lives and you’ll find that the act of having other people exist in your world who matter to you will give you that stimulation you’re desperately missing.” Because these desperately bored characters are also desperately emotionally isolated. And they might be happy/content in their isolation—but they’re not doing anything to cure their own understimulation like that.

(“Hey OP is that how you cured your understimulation?” nah I got ADHD meds.)

- Remember everything that I just said about how much I love that Alastor is aro? Well forget everything I just said. Chuck it out the window. Bye.

So every once in a while I find a character that, for whatever reason, I really, really, really want to see pining. I want them to be in love, and I want it to be unrequited, and I want it to go on for years. I want them sobbing in private and then hiding it completely when they face anyone else. I want them to hurt so bad they feel like they can’t breathe. I want them unable to think about anything but their beloved. I want it festering inside them like an infected wound. I want it to hurt. Forever.

(“Hey OP do you uh, do you ever, yknow, want them to get their loved one?” yeah sure whatever)

For some reason, Alastor is one of those characters. Why? I dunno. I haven’t figured out my mental pattern on these ones yet. Maybe it’s specifically because it’s so incongruous with his outward appearance/and attitude. Maybe it’s because he’d do a really really good job at hiding it, but also I think he’s probably kind of a mess inside under his mask, and I think adding unrequited desire under that mask would mess him up anymore in really spectacular ways. Like a china cabinet that shifted in an earthquake so that if you open all the doors all the plates will fall out and break, except they’re already all broken inside of the china cabinet, but he’s in denial about that as long as he doesn’t open the door. I dunno, I’m speculating.

- On that note: I feel like he’s probably, like, hypercompetent and super powerful and super successful on the outside, but actually he’s a sort of screwed up dork who’s got no idea what he’s doing. (I present the furby organ as supporting evidence.) I like extremely powerful deeply feared dorks, ESPECIALLY when they have no idea what they’re doing.

- Also, affable villains. Totally friendly/sociable and totally evil.

- I dig his weird radio schtick. Like, Radio Stuff isn’t a thing I specifically like about characters, but on him I think it’s cool. Character gimmicks that can go a lot of ways and that you can do a lot of stuff with in character development are fun.

I think that covers all the important bases.

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Ep 15 (should have been titled bloodbath or the most intense ep I've ever watched)

I cant even seem to collect my thoughts to attempt to write anything on what this ep was. But I shall try because this ep deserves so much analysis.

I think it's almost clear just how much I love Eunseom and wait for scenes with him but this ep managed to hit me even though we probs had less than five minutes of him in it.

You want cold blooded murder? Yeah arthdal chronicles is the show for you. I've always known tagon is trash and nothing short of a whiny brat but even I couldn't predict that he'd react the way that he did (maybe because I hoped that he'd be respectable trash yknow guess that doesn't exist though)

I knew this ep was going to be a bloodbath but I really didn't see all that happened coming. From tagon slashing every single person at inception to that wahan trash beating people by the end of this ep. I did not expect all that they delivered. Jeez tagon I cant wait for eunseom to beat the shit out of you (something tells me though that this will not be his end). No one can ever try to justify what tagon did. It was cruel and uncalled for. I can understand although I do not condone him killing asa ron and the children of shahati or those of white mountain peak but the ministers?? What the hell. He really said screw ya'll I'm about to have a temper tantrum and went at it. Like I've been saying since ep 1, tagon is nothing but trash desperate for attention and he's going to get that one way or the other. Him whining about how he's tried to be good all these years lol I actually laughed out loud because it was the most ridiculous shit I'd ever heard. The guy is beyond delusional and I hope he meets an end truly befitting.

Im actually surprised that they managed to keep hidden the fact that he's an igutu. Does tagon really think the daekhan forces would keep supporting him if they knew? What a pathetic fool. He legit just used his igutu abilities to kill people and then went back to pretending like he's some hero shoving his igutu nature aside. I'd at least think he'd be able to salvage something about his worth by owning up to the fact that he's an igutu but nope, tagon really needs to start carrying a board that reads "I am trash" because that is all he is.

Regardless I enjoy watching his madness. Its amusing to say the least and tagon and taealha share a deep love. No show has portrayed one quite like there's and there's so much to praise of it. I'm glad we got to see taealha fight although the choreography of the fighting was quite good I do think shows need to understand that when jumped by a group they don't attack you one by one because this obviously makes it easier for the individual. Nevertheless they managed to cover it up but there's room for improvement.

All things said and done taealha is most certainly going to go down quite bitterly with tagon, one that she is most deserving of so when the time comes I'll bid the two of them good bye with a happy heart. I've hope that arthdal chronicles will deliver with their ends because THEY SURE AS HELL HANDLED MUGWANGS DEATH FANTASTICALLY.

I've been waiting for this moment since ep 1 and it has finally arrived. Better yet it was completely worth the wait. I'd certainly been wondering how tanyas prophecy for him was going to play out and I think we'd all kind of understood that it was a neanthal who would be killing him but what better person for the task than nunbyeol!? I can't even begin to explain how ecstatic I was during that scene. I was yelling "kill him kill him" quite a bit, the neighbours might think I'm crazy oh but who cares when his death was delivered so well.

I was sad that Harim and his wife had to die... They didn't deserve it at all and neither does chaeeun or nunbyeol deserve having to go through that. Taealha really knows no compassion to none but Tagon. Harim saved the one she loved and she really ordered him dead. And since mugwang stupidly followed such orders he got the end he most certainly deserved. I gotta tell ya hearing that hiss and nunbyeols "retreat? You are too late" has gotta be one of the greatest moments in this show. What's so perfect about panning it this way is that it really ties everything together. The flashback we get of mugwang and mubaek and yet mugwang choosing to ignore those words even though he had absolutely no idea what Harim knew, hell Harim hadn't done anything at all he'd just saved his leader and yet. And yet, he still chose foolishness.

What adds to perfection is that it's nunbyeol who kills him. The very person mubaek chose to spare. She had every right to kill mugwang no doubt but the question that stands now is what will mubaek do? His little pathetic brother just died at the hands of a neanthal he spared. What's even better is that nunbyeol is completely one of a kind being the only sword bearing neanthal. I guess she might end up going back to the neanthals. The last ep already depicted that she might after all. Now chaeeun and nunbyeol have further reason to want tagons demise. Really tagon gains all this hate solely by his own actions, his lack of pro activeness will be his demise. Mugwangs death was completely satisfactory. I'm still extremely excited about it.

On a side note, what's with yangcha? And his change involving Tanya. Its one thing to follow Tagons orders but he also instantly reacted to tanya being in danger. They also shared that psychic moment WHERE WE FINALLY HEAR HIS VOICE. All I got from that scene however was Tanya saying "my eunseom" my heart combusted at that. But it was good to finally see something of what tanya truly feels especially the flashback she had when looking at yangcha and the change in expression. You can tell she's behaving this way only to gain power. Had saya heard what she has to say though....

I was kind of put off by the fact that she just stood there while the wahan rat beat people up to though(I can't remember his name, I barely care about his existence). But I think the show is clearly depicting that Saya is evil. His kindness exists only as far as things are his way. He's a lot like Tagon but at least he's proud of who he is unlike Tagon the wimp. Seeing his smile though as wahan rat beat people up, things were going his way and it's sad that this is the way he wanted. Saya has always wanted a tyranny situation where the throne would one day be his. I'm stil hoping that he'll make some right choice, I still love him very much and I wish him happiness although he might not be quite deserving of it.

But the tyranny has begun. If only the people knew the wimp that sits on that throne. What's interesting is this tyranny has started with Tagon as a saram while Saya wanted Tagon the igutu. This has interesting implications because it allows one to know that it will never be Tagon who changes how people can view igutus and that's why this show is so wonderful. It's about identity and all that it means (but that's for a different post, probably at the end of the series)

I was disappointed that we got such little of eunseom and the writers are pathetic at handling his situation but I understand why it's being done. We'll finally learn something about Ipsaeng and the preview honours the idea that ep 16 will finally give us answers about the prophecy and I'm ecstatic. The pieces are coming together and maybe we'll get a better explanation on why saya is part of the prophecy when he seems to be a bad influence. It also makes sense why this show chose Mubaek as its narrator and ah I love the poetic nature of this show. Its not without its faults but its wonderful regardless.

Three more episodes to go, and I'm so not ready for this epic finale that's coming our way.

[rising-generations]

i know no one asked for them but hey, take some pretty detailed headcanons on my daiya/hiro kiddos (the first two at least) do note that daiya is trans here uvu

- so daiya and hiro got together after daiya and chisa / hiro and chihiro got together, but they were pining for a while. like. a long while. until their respective partners were like "we don't mind sharing go for it bro" - daiya knows hiro adores kids so he's the one who brings up them having some. hiro knows that it was hard for daiya to get pregnant, though, so he says he's not bothered if they end up not being able to have a bio kid, that's fine. in fact he suggests adoption at first, which neither of them are against, however... - the way it ends up, daiya gets pregnant the first time they try somehow and hiro is. incredibly shocked to say the very least. as is daiya but he doesn't show it as much

- as for who they tell first, daiya tells chisa first and hiro tells chihiro, since they are their partners and kinda need to know, and they're both very happy for them. it's real sweet! there's no jealousy or anything cause like, yknow, they're pretty much their kid too

- the first month is pretty uneventful other than daiya finding out relatively early because they were expecting the results. hiro is just. so happy. much crying from hiro. also lots of cuddles and kisses. - second month sees a slightly more like. broody daiya is the best way to describe him. it's not that he's mad at the people around him he's just. broody. he's also mother henning the other kids like crazy. - additionally he's a little snippier than usual and his temper a bit shorter but it's not. horrible. hiro does cry once and it makes daiya feel really bad so he tries not to do it again - third month, there's a lot of hormonal stuff going on and it's a little harder for daiya to adjust than for his other pregnancies for some reason? they figure out why not too far in: surprise, it's twins! daiya is. understandably shocked because what he just had twins with chisa. but not mad bc that makes everything else make sense. - he's also wanting to "eat and hide" a lot for some reason? normally he stays in the living room for dinner with hiro and the others + kids but now he's like "i must take my food and Run". nobody tries to stop him bc hey he has his reasons - month four and he's gaining more weight so now there's a visible baby bump and he gets a little self conscious. but never to fear, hiro is there with kisses! he does try to make sure that daiya's eating a sensible diet bc left unchecked he'd just survive off of like candy and soda and as enticing as that sounds it's not good for a pregnant person - also catch hiro talking to daiya's stomach bc that is a thing hiro would do you can't convince me otherwise don't even try to - also highkey daiya gets more cuddly around this time. he just wants cuddles and snuggles. and is also very clingy. unfortunately for mondo he is often the target of this clingy worry and gets fussed over a lot ("daiya i have two kids of my own would you please leave me alone") - month five and his emotions just. spike. daiya is either very happy or very sad and there's no in-between. like. he'll be having a normal conversation and then drop a spoon or something and now he's bawling. hiro and/or chisa can usually calm him down but sometimes you'll just catch daiya crying for thirty minutes over one of those SPCA commercials - month six and now on top of being emotional he's also really, really moody and broody and nesting horribly. all the pillows and blankets are belong to daiya. hiro buys him one of those pregnancy pillow things and daiya does not let go of it, don't even try to take it from him you will not succeed and also you might lose an arm or two - however despite being moody and whatnot he still wants to cuddle with hiro and receive back rubs because having a previous spinal injury + carrying two children is not an easy thing to do. but thankfully both hiro and chisa are very willing to take care of him - month seven is when daiya starts getting tired of being pregnant, especially with twins because they're very active (apparently they did Not inherit hiro's chill) and no part of him is safe. he's sleeping a lot more to make up for the times at night when he can't because the kids decide it's party time. daiya still fusses over the other kids but it's mainly hiro/chisa + chihiro taking care of them now because he's mainly resting. - by the eighth month he's so done. he loves his kids. he loves his partners. but he does not love this experience and wants it to be over. it's pretty obvious that he's not gonna be happy until the babies are out and in his arms. hiro does his best to keep him calm because he's emotional once more and liable to cry at everything and anything. pretty much everyone's ready for the babies to just be born already.

as for the actual birth, daiya is a whole week past his due date and no one is happy. he's just. mad. and crying. and ready to do just about anything to get these kids out of him because he's miserable and ready to be done. they're a day away from taking him in to be induced when his water breaks in the middle of the night and he's like "okay fucking finally" because as badly as he wanted to get these kids out of him he also was adamant about not having them at a hospital (his and chisa's were born at home with a midwife so that's how he prefers to go).

he is in. so much pain. and it's hard for hiro to be there because with his and chihiro's kids, chihiro had a c-section so it was? not very intense? plus she was high as a mf kite bc of the drugs so there's that, but there's none of that with daiya. he has awful back labor and his contractions are really strong right from the start. but we'll give hiro credit because he does stay the whole time and hold his hand and basically does whatever daiya asks him to, which is mostly just to stay right with him.

it's way more intense than they were expecting because daiya goes from three centimeters dilation to like. eight centimeters in an hour and a half and everyone's just like "how did this happen so fast what the fuck" but unfortunately that just means more pain for daiya (the cervix dilating is literally your actual bones pulling apart so like. dilating that fast is p a i n f u l)

thankfully he only has to push for like thirty minutes before the first one is born and then the second one comes like ten minutes later so. all's well that ends well! they have a girl and a boy, tomoka and mitsuharu oowada. and they're both completely healthy so no complications on that side at least

some assorted things for after: - tomoka is the clingy baby and mitsuharu is more independent, personality-wise, but tomoka gets more independent as she gets older - despite them being hellions as fetuses, as babies they're actually hella chill. so apparently they did actually get hiro's chill - hiro has freckles and he passes them onto his kids - they were both weaned at the same time, around six months, because daiya unfortunately discovered they had teeth when nursing them one morning. you can imagine how that went. mondo thought this was hilarious until several years later he went through the same thing with ayako and daisuke - tomoka did not. absolutely did not. want to wean. not at all. not in the slightest. she was pissed and even after weaning she'd still cry if she wasn't on or near the titty - mitsuharu on the other hand was like "hell yeah i want food give it to me" - hiro adores his babies oh my god. he'd spend every minute with them if he was able and also didn't have to do things

[mythvoiced]

@enchcntd - THE OG GAYS, OFC — ultimate ship meme!

---

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Uh? Forever? Obviously?

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight but it was definitely “good god, this is something”, at first sight (at least for Patrick) so I’m thinking it didn’t take that long, they were infatuated pretty early on, and they both feel Very Strongly, SO HERE THEY ARE

How was their first kiss? - It had the intention to become steamy because at first Patrick thought “yes, this’ll do it, this’ll show him my feelings” but then their lips touched in that random-ass bathroom stall in the men’s toilet at a gala event organised by one Anthony Sullivan, and it was just... slow sparks, it was the “we have to pull away after a literal second because neither of us can believe this is happening and oh god this is what i’ve been missing all my life, isn’t it”

Wedding:

Who proposed? - The absolute idiot that is Patrick Finch (said, of course, affectionately) he just kinda suggested it and well, hey, once you’ve put it out there, all you gotta do is get a ring and PUT IT ON IT because I’m mad Pat didn’t show up with a ring right away >:( but then again, it wasn’t exactly a planned proposal

Who is the best man/men? - We haven’t discussed this yet BUT ALLEN’S DEFINITELY THERE, I don’t know who’d apply for Spencer so feel free to scream the names at me <w< I don’t think either of them would want people who aren’t like, super close to them, though, right?

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Not applicable, but to be honest Liv should be IF yknow

Who did the most planning? - Patrick struggled a bit here because he’s used to planning things SOLO (comes from having a naturally strategical mind AND being alone for so long and all the time) but he wouldn’t want to just leave Spencer out of it when he’d know he’d feel bad if he couldn’t participate, so they probably balanced it according to their abilities... And then Pat’s mum Susan flew in and had to be physically restrained by Allen because planning a wedding is on her bucket list and she adores Spencer so she literally is usually sitting there, in a corner, waiting until she can help with something

Who stressed the most? - This would go to Spencer, right? Patrick does his own fair share of stressing on the daily (can’t he rest) but he having Spencer nearby calms him down ALSO because he wants to be calm enough to help Spencer when he’ll start stressing (this is probs the planning only, because I feel like if we’re talking about the idea of marriage itself, Patrick wouldn’t sleep for a week, but I dIGRESS, Allen is here during that period, he’ll smack some sense into him, don’t worry)

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Anthony Sullivan, Reginald Finch, and Patrick put off inviting Robert until his mother ripped him a new one

Sex:

Who is on top? - They both are... ON TOP OF THE WORLD because they are very deeply in love with one another

Who is the one to instigate things? - They haven’t worked their way up to that topic/situation yet and they both seem fairly comfortable with just letting it rest wherever it may be for a while longer, lmao

How healthy is their sex life? - Well, healthily nonexistent, LEAVE THEM ALONE Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - No Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Fellas, I don’t even know if Spencer masturbates, I know Patrick doesn’t even do that, HOW AM I SUPPOSED-

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Hypothetically speaking, because this is literally all we’re doing here (I’m tryna swerve this section, not gonna lie) the answer would be YES, although Patrick would be more inclined to take care of Spencer’s because for obvious reasons

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - None! Biology doesn’t work that way!

How many children will they adopt? - AT LEAST one, I don’t feel like they’re thinking of adopting another at the moment, BUT DEFINITELY one! Her Royal Highness Samantha Finch

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Sammy didn’t use diapers anymore when they adopted her!

Who is the stricter parent? - Patrick! Outwardly! He tries to be! He’s a big softie but he’s also terrified of losing her

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - BOTH! They’re quite apprehensive BUT at the same time, Patrick believes if a kid’s feet aren’t dirty at the end of the day, have they really lived the day? Falling of a low branch off a tree every so once in a while is okay, it depends entirely on what Sam can handle, because she may be on the spectrum, but he’s not made out of glass neither should she be treated as such, mic drop LMAO

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Kitchen is Spencer Terrain! Therefore, by extension, SPENCER!

Who is the more loved parent? - She loves them equally for different reasons! You can’t really compare them, because they’re two completely different beings and she adores them for who they are as individuals.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Patrick would make it a habit to be around for them CERTAINLY because he wants not only to be there for Sam, but also for Spencer the first few times, thinking the idea would stress Spencer out. Not to mention, Patrick has a deep-rooted passion within him to go against every and all systems out there, so he’d want to be there right away if the school Fucked Up because that’s his daughter they’re talking about (but he’d also try to get Spencer to come every time because it’d be important to Spencer as well to be there, right?)

Who cried the most at graduation? - To be honest they probably spent 20 minutes just all three of them crying into the best family hug in the history of all family hugs

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Patrick, because he INVENTED trouble with the law, NAH omg hopefully neither

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Spencer! Patrick can cook well enough to keep himself alive, but Spencer is basically a CHEF at this point and well, it’s his thing :3

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Maybe Sammy? Patrick isn’t picky in the slightest, he’s very likely to eat something he doesn’t like either (at the end of the day he always be “everything’s better than trench food, so”) and Spencer doesn’t seem very picky? So if anybody had to pick that title, it’d probably be some child-pickiness

Who does the grocery shopping? - Who happens to! Depends on schedules and such, but I also believe that Spencer is more likely to, also because he’s the cook so Patrick would be constantly calling him anyway

How often do they bake desserts? - Any time Spencer would feel like it >:)

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Well, Spencer is a vegetarian so there’s that, Patrick definitely enjoys meat

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - SPENCER! Although, it depends, are we talking a dinner out or a dinner in, although it’s a dinner in either way right, SO SPENCER! Because he cooks. Patrick would surprise him with something else.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - PATRICK! But he means... OUT out, as in out into nature, on a field, for a picnic, or to star-gaze, he’s more likely too because if he can’t breathe fresh air at least once a day, he withers away (like a dog, yknow)

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - NEITHER! 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - BOTH!

Who is really against chores? - NEITHER! I can see it being rather relaxing for both of them, just getting things done around the house

Who cleans up after the pets? - WHOEVER HAPPENS TO!

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - APPLE! Lmao

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - SPENCER! Because Patrick is just gonna boot them out if he doesn’t like them, he’s a master at skillfully kicking people out of places, but also because he’s taken to trying to be calm during situations like these so that Spencer can rely on him, so even if he WAS stressed, he’d probably get over it

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - SAMMY! It’s her Treasure

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - SPENCER! For the sole reason that Patrick’s showers are fast as lightning lmao and he doesn’t take baths

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - THEY DON’T OWN A DOG!

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - THEY DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE EXCEPT FOR THANKSGIVINGS PATRICK DOESN’T PARTICIPATE IN THAT ONE LMAO

What are their goals for the relationship? - EVERYTHING THEY GOT RIGHT NOW TBH

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - NEITHER! Both seem pretty early risers

Who plays the most pranks? - PATRICK! I’m kidding IT’S APPLE