#I want to feel neutral about their body. they're just some guy. everyone's just some guy. I don't need to feel anything abt everyone

[11cupids-tarot11]

What will Life in general be like with your Future Spouse?

Gender Neutral for Everyone!

1 -> 3 ♡

Tips are very much appreciated!! Love you guys!!♡

My Kofi (I plan to set up the rest of my services in shop soon!)

Cupid's Services

Cupid's Master-List

Hi loves! Happy 2025 🥳 I know I’m two months late and I’ve been gone for way longer than I had expected, but I’m so happy to be back!! I hope everyone’s new year is going amazing!

Pile 1- The World, King of Wands, Eight of Cups and, Strength.

Hi pile 1!

So right off the bat I feel like your person is such a character! They don't like to be bored, very adventurous and free spirited. If you're a home body I'm not sure if you'd like this about them, but if you're someone that also loves a good adventure I see you two being partners in crime! Everyday is something new really, I think even days when you're both just chilling in the house they like to make it fun, there's always laughter in y'all's home.

So I see this being during a time in life together you're both financially stable, living together and the both of you just really love to live out your days to the fullest, enjoying life together, I hear you guys will always hear complaints from your friends and family how you're never around anymore because you're always on trips lol, living with this person is almost like a whole new world almost, you'll feel like nothing's impossible.

I feel like your person is very fiery, they like to charge through life with their head held high, very outspoken and would rather be a leader than a follower, they fight back, they're so loud too, they won't be ignored. You'll always see these things about them throughout life, you'll see how they love to take charge and stand ground, how they don't like to put up with anyone's bullshit.

I feel like for fun you two will do things kinda sketchy, like my cards show a person graffitiing on the wall, you two will do things for the adrenaline rush of not getting caught but even if you get caught that adds to the fun cause you'll just run away. This person could make you feel younger than you actually are, I just see lots of giggling and mischief, things you'd probably never even thought you'd do because you're like "nah I'm too reserved of a person" but this person will make you want to branch out of your comfort zone, they'll help you through every high and every low, they'll be your strength when you have none.

I feel like if you're someone that's like me and ALWAYS bored, you'll love this person because they're like how could you ever be bored of me? Even conversations with this person are crazy and wild because I don't really think they care for a filter, they seem to not really fear anything in life lol I love their energy, they'll totally rub off on you some of their fiery ways too, they like to see you strong and in your power.

I hope you enjoyed this reading, please leave a heart and reblog!! ♡

-Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pile 2- Seven of Cups, Temperance, Nine of Cups and, Three of Swords.

Hi pile 2!!

So your future spouse and you will like to plan, I see you guys discussing everything first before you actually do it. You guys just might like feeling secure and safe, planning for the long run, but also being like "okay, so, what's for dinner tomorrow? Do I need to go to the store tomorrow morning?" That kinda energy in almost everything. You guys also like planning your alone time, you might be busy people so I see you two sitting down discussing your little get away from everyone and life temporarily.

Funny enough with the Temperance card here I think this person also likes to go with the flow, maybe this person loves days when you're both free from work or your schedule for long periods of time and can finally focus on each other.

I think during days like those your person will just love making their days about you, they feel kind of clingy and quality time is their love language tbh, they don't really care what you guys do as long as they're with you, they could just sit in silence with you. This person loves focusing on healing the both of you daily, they're really into health and fitness I think but also mental health as well, they're the type to make you a random snack when they've noticed you've skipped breakfast or haven't eaten in awhile, I think they really love taking care of themselves but you as well!

I hope you enjoyed this reading, please leave a heart and reblog!! ♡

-Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Pile 3- The World, Eight of Swords, The High Priestess, and Six of Coins.

Hi pile 3!

So starting off with The World card I have a very big feeling this is a very free flowing and creative pile! Maybe you do something creative for work, an influence online or something along the lines of that, or your future spouse could be! There’s a vibe here that you and your spouse might like to travel a lot, I feel like your life is a little less planned out, for example you guys might do lots of things out of the blue, random dates, going out shopping together but getting distracted and deciding to go out on a little dinner date at a new restaurant you two stumbled upon while shopping, that kind of unplanned/spontaneous energy.

I feel like your spouse is someone very supportive with the Eight of Swords here, I think in the future together you and your spouse will like to keep things light hearted, I’m hearing in the world we live in these days you and your spouse will try to not like this world break the two of you apart, change your character or value. You guys feel like a very positive couple, the kind to go donate to Charity, volunteer ect etc. Your spouse also likes to take of you! They’ll also be the shoulder you can cry on, they’ll want to make life easier for you too in this world we live in!

Your spouse will honor you, they’ll think and respect your home like a Kingdom, they’ll honor you and the ground you walk on, everyday! From the moment you open your eyes in bed, they’re the type to wake you up with breakfast in bed, except they’ll let you sleep in while they’ve been up for awhile cooking for you. So sweet! A real partnership💕

With the Six of Coins here I think your spouse might be wealthy or is destined for wealth, your spouse wants you to live a life with them where they can pamper you! If you want to be a stay at home parent they’ll support that (if not that’s okay too, they’ll support you working as well!) they’re just like that! They’ll support anything you do! I think this person wants to be so wealthy that they can make money in their sleep and can relax on vacation with you!

I hope you enjoyed this reading, please leave a heart and reblog!! ♡

- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

[triaelf9]

Some DA lore musings, especially in connection to the Maker & stuff, future possibilities, WHAT'S GOING ON UNDER IT ALL

Spoilers for Veilguard (end game stuff), under a cut b/c I'm sure I'll get LONG

SO

I think the Maker is real. Not just a made up thing by Mythal that she either told Andraste Not just an Evanuris pretending to be something. Obvs not a god like the others, but still massively powerful being a creation variant spirit.

I think The Maker is the Maker (spirit) and I think the chant of light contains clues to the origins of the evanuris and more. I think the Maker is the father that Elgar'nan overthrew, especially since his theme in the OSt is called "Eldest of the Sun". Sun->light->chantry symbol->SPECFICIALLY A SUNBURST THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIGHT THE SUN MAYBE?

In the chant of light it mentions creating children who disappointed him, he made them in his image (spirits, immortal) and then he made beings not in his image (mortal) to balance out their lack of whatever he wanted from them.

I think he created humans. Like, specifically humans. and I think he made them over the sea b/c we know they're not from Thedas (Andraste of course Thedas-centriced the chant b/c that's all she knows). I think that not only were the evanuris jealous of the dwarves with bodies, but ALSO daddy's new toys. So THEY made bodies, etc we know how that went.

okay so here comes the twist. I think the Maker saw what his first children were doing and realized they'd unbalance the balance he wants. So I think he made something to balance him out. I think he made the devouring storm (or whatever is behind that). It eats magic, it's cold (not light and warm like the sun) and set it loose. I think it's out there doing destruction while he creates. The balance to creation. (I think he's wrong here, but I'll get to that later lol, we've learned spirits don't know everything and are fallible)

SO I think the humans had to fight the storm and I think some of them fled, and that's how they came to thedas, now that they Veil is up and they won't be torn apart by magic. I think that those who stayed behind created Kosslith/Qunari whatever we're calling them to fight the storm, especially Adaari. Which is how the humans in Par Vollen who settled there made ruins with Qunari engravings. but the split was so long ago, it's likely no know remembers anymore.

So THEN there are the Executors who seem to be bent on causing the deaths of the Old gods/ the evanuris b/c everything they've done has lead to the Archdemons dying and killing/knocking them out of the picture. BUT, if they ALL die, we know the Veil will collapse, blight will spill out, and everyone dies. NOT what the Maker wants. So the Executors don't want THAT, which is why they seem on your side in Veilguard. So we need the Veil to stay, but no more Evanuris. so that all happens.

(also side note, remembering in DA2 about the citizens who are all "there are more fade tears and spirits and demons then when I was a kid" and YEAH b/c the veil is WEAKENING with the deaths of each archdemon!! so it's true, it IS getting worse) any who

While I think the executors are connected to the storm somehow, I don't think they're working for it b/c they want "The storm quelled" and now balance can happen.

So I think the executors are working FOR the Maker. They are literally executors of his will (b/dum tch) in the way that maybe the destruction opposing spirit guy might also have guys working for him (those lizards we keep seeing? cold blooded, so...maybe?) which might explain why they're not Evil Evil but not Good Good. b/c Balance is neutral.

And this is where I think the Maker is wrong b/c balance isn't always good in every situation. Also I feel like he thinks that only from destruction can creation happen, and there I think he's wrong. Only because the tranquil exist, and they are blank BUT...they still create. They are the only ones who can do what they do. Could be because the earth & titans are NOT Maker made, so it's out of his control or influence?? WHOO IDEAS

ANYWAY those are my thoughts, I'm sure there's more, some obscure lore that backs up my thoughts, but also as a storyteller, I think this would be a cool way to go.

Also, my super out there conspiracy theory about how executors are connected to eyes, eyes of storms, Anaris yelling about the Eye seeing him and the chant of light mentioning a storm AND the maker turning his EYE on his new creations, and the Executor symbol looks like an EYE over a SPIRIT FACE, eye balls are CIRCLES, the executors are tied to CIRCLES, Sun and moons are CIRCLES there is a SECOND MOON we don't see a lot, Sun warm, moon cold, anyway MOON EVIL XD (Jk on that last part, but I'm very suspicious of moons now THANKS RUIDUS)

But yeah TLDR DA devs LET ME FIGHT THE MAKER AND HIS EVIL TWIN THE UN-MAKER XD

OH quick addition: So I think that Dragons might either be from over the sea too OR Dragons were all over the world and were there first maybe? We know in a game named Dragon Age, dragons are probably important XD)

[microtyalm13]

How would your ocs react to a partner whos very vocal and loud in bed, like every moment they can't go without spouting some type of praise. . . ask, totally not based on a chat im having - 🐠🎩

mmmhehehhe... < З I LIKE THIS QUESTION DEAR FISH ANON. okaaaayyy lessgooo.... also feel free to send me more questions like this one, it was fun to write for everyone <3 deity, naga, monster under the bed, kikimora, fallen god, mothman x reader. derzena x fem!reader, the rest is gender-neutral. there could be mistakes and im npt s orrty

gavriil. — the louder you are the better, honestly. gavriil here is a provider, he cares about your pleasure more than his own, so there's nothing more rewarding than to hear your voice break so deliciously. sex with him is a praising galore... loves receiving it too! he's very talkative and mostly breathes heavily or hums in amusement/delight. if you don't want to make noise on principle, that's a whole different story. will take it as a challenge. will fuck the noises out of you. breaking your indifferent facade until you're nothing but a drooling, whining mess always makes him so smug and proud.

xiaolong. — prefers it if you're at least somewhat vocal because he want to hear how good he makes you feel, so you being so unashamed is perfect for him. loves cutting off your never-ending stream of sweet words and whimpers by kissing you. will remind you to keep it down sometimes though, because "you don't want the whole inn to hear your pretty moans now, do you? they're reserved for my ears only, isn't that right, dear? mmhm, that's it". can't get enough of how lovely your voice sounds when you call out his name. will probably tease you about that later...

taisya\tasechka. — when he's balls deep inside of you, he would absolutely not care. he won't even hear you probably, driven blindly by his instincts and desires. that's why when you want him to stop or give you a second for whatever reason, you need to show it with your body language. give him a pat, a punch (he won't mind), a squeeze. he pays much more attention to how your body moves and shudders underneath him, how your breathing patterns change. values your physical participation more than anything else. this guy is also pretty loud himself, though his noises are not very... pleasant on the ears and sometimes his voice morphs in funny ways, giving that uncanny edge to his low whines and growls.

derzena. — she will be... a bit surprised. she didn't have many lovers, and most of them were pretty quiet and/or shy in her presence (no wonder, bc she has a very... intimidating stare). at first she will think she did something wrong, or, heavens forbid, hurt you. derzena is a very careful woman, mainly because she's very aware of her sizes and strength. but once you reassure her and tell her that you're just very vocal in bed, she'll except it and will move on. she'll learn to love it very quickly, silently relishing in your gasps and loud pleas. she might lose herself for a good while between your legs, eating you out for hours and pushing her thick, smooth tongue deeper into your pussy to see if she can make you even louder.

veniamin. — oh he is so mean. likes it when you're loud just because he gets to shut you up. a hand clasped tightly over your mouth or pushing your face into the pillow, he doesn't care as long as you're keeping up the volume and writhing under him. when he's feeling gracious enough he'll let you ride him and babble all you want. until then, he'll keep calling you a desperate little thing, mocking the noises you make <З despite that, he also loves it when you talk back or insult him in return. it's the "missionary, so we can keep arguing" for him. smug fucker wants nothing more than to rile you up and then make you whine in disappointment by ruining your orgasm... for the fourth time in a row.

livy. — he hasn't had much experience with humans before, so he thinks it's perfectly normal for you to express yourself the way that you do. livy thinks it's very pretty actually, and won't stop you, because no one will hear you in the middle of the forest, where his cave resides. except for him, of course <з lets out happy chirps and clicks in return, or hisses sweetly when your little hole squeezes him so tightly. will ask how you feel very frequently, seeking your approval. might get too excited and get a bit rough, fucking you into the ground, trying to stuff you full of his cock despite you being so much smaller in comparison to him.

[seeing-scarlet]

Twisted Wonderland Replaced AU (With a twist)

Warning (s): Betrayal, Implied Bullying, Implied Death, Disturbing Description (?), Slight Horror, Body Possesion, Manipulation etc

Gender Neutral Yuu/Reader

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃, had been teleported here in NRC. Everyone, I mean everyone started ignoring you, Ace and Deuce didn't talked to you anymore ever since this new student came, Everyone else is busy gawking and praising the new student, the new student was just like you: Magicless and in a different dimension. The new student was seen to be a flawless person, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 eyes, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 skin, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 hair and etc, but everything about them was 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓. Everyone in NRC saw them as some sort of god. Someone with no mistakes, someone 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 that can do everything good.

And someone that everyone compared you with...

Almost everyone in NRC compared you, to them. Saying of how they have better grades, better appearance, better voice, better personality and a better version of you. That's what pissed you off. But of course, you didn't blamed the new student. They didn't do anything wrong... Of course they didn't, they were a nice and kind person and someone that you like just like how you like everyone else in NRC.

But did they even like you anymore after this new student came...? Perhaps not anymore...

You watched everyone loving the new student. Everyone, everyone that you helped in order for them to trust you because you don't belong in this world, Because you're Magicless, you had never gotten that type of special treatment that everyone else is giving the new student. You never received attention, you never received kind words that much, you never get endless affection and thank you's, the new student is Magicless as well... So why weren't you getting that treatment before?

Was everyone else right when they said that the new student was better than you? Because they're 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓? Is that it? Is that why your dying right now? Because your literally bleeding on the ground after an incident that happened earlier, and no one else is around to save you because they're too busy saving the new student or saving themselves.

Feeling the ground against your body, bleeding and coughing out your blood that was once inside your flesh and veins, to keep you Healthy and yet, your here coughing it out because your literally fucking injured and no one is saving you... Not even Ace, Deuce, Epel, Jack or anyone... Not even Crowley. Perhaps, this is how you meet your fate...?

“Yuu! Yuu! Where are you!?”

Multiple shouts of worry and concerned echoed through the half ruined forest, trees down and the ground slightly cracked. Ace grunted as grim was rushing through the forest while deuce and some of the guys were trying to calm him down, but the feline was worried of his human Henchmen, his best friend. Someone that appreciated him more than anyone else. “Where Could yuu be?!” Deuce worriedly frowned, next to ace who's looking slightly nervous but trying to make himself look tough and unaffected, wanting to look like he wasn't sorry for ignoring yuu. The dorm leaders walked alongside the others, the vice dorm leaders next to their dorm leaders, looking for the Magicless human. “Yuu!? Yuu!?”

No answer... Just silence...

“Yuu!? Oh where could they be!?” Kalim frowned next to a Slight worried Jamil, the white haired boy worried for the Magicless human his first friend besides Jamil that they weren't seen before the incident that happened hours ago... “Maybe shrimpy is back at ramshackle...?” Floyd recommended, yet his words made everyone else doubted. “That's impossible Floyd, yuu wasn't seen there. Grim wouldn't be here with us looking for them.” Azul reminded, adjusting his glasses carefully. “So, where was the herbivore last seen then?” Leona questioned, his deep voice sounded irrated, yet everyone else could feel the slight worry that was laced upon his tone. “Look!” Epel Pointed someone in the distance, as everyone approached the person. It was Yuu! But... There was something off...

“Henchmen! Your ok!” Grim sobbed, clinging into the teen's leg while they're back faced everyone else. Everyone expected yuu to turn around and hug grim, but instead they stayed silent. Yuu was supposed to hug him back, so why wasn't he? Then yuu turned around, smiling softly down at grim, grabbed the feline and embraced him. The cat sobbing into "Yuu's" shoulders. Everyone sighed in relief, as Malleus and some of the others had noticed something off about yuu. “Child of man? Are you alright?” Yuu softly turned to the fae prince, nodding mannerly. “Why yes, I am. Thank you.” The Magicless teen replied softly to the horned fae, everyone's eyes landed on the teen's hands. They're fingers grew longer and it was slightly ink black to gradient (skin/color)

“Trickster? Is everything alright?” Rook smiled yet nervously and concerned for the human's wellbeing, but they just smiled again. “Oh, I'm fine... Just fine.”

Everyone else felt a shiver down their spine when they glanced at the ink black color that was plastered on their hands once again. As yuu spoke again with a relaxed smile. “I had... A change of heart...”

Author's note: This is part 1, I don't know if I would do part 2 tho. I'm just deciding on which type of parasite that would use Yuu's body as it's own vessel, I'm looking for ideas and it was originally kenjaku but I also like Sukuna, but anyways. Thanks for reading this if you find it! Thanks for reading!

[velvetvexations]

Just saw a post telling trans women it was okay to want vaginoplasty even if it's "just" for sexual reasons (true, it's not "shallow" or "perverted" to want your body to feature a vagina for sex reasons, it's literally genitals) and some people in the comments were acting like there was some sort of unique, super strong stigma and backlash to trans women getting bottom surgery compared to other demographics, and like. Lol. Lmao even.

Of course, there are plenty of people being extremely shitty (saying gross stuff like that "angel without its wings" phrase, or "axe wound", "rot pocket"...) but I'd say most of it comes from cis people, who... Say similar shit about trans men. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never come across someone praising FTM bottom surgery while simultaneously dragging MTF bottom surgery. Meanwhile, even within the trans community, everyone and their mother has an opinion about FTM bottom surgery and how awful it supposedly is. Joking about how "it's easier to dig a hole than build a pole" to say it's worse than vaginoplasty. Bottom surgery is not even considered an option, you're supposed to only get top surgery and be satisfied, and never dare to want to ruin your ~ pure AFAB body ~ by adding an Evil Oppressor Penis. Some people will straight up tell you that they prefer dating or being around trans men because they "feel safer since they don't have a penis" (imagine what they think of trans men who are post bottom surgery... Well you usually don't even have to imagine, as people love to loudly announce to everyone how they think transmasc bottom surgery is terrible).

So, from what I've seen, no, I don't think there's an unique bias against trans women getting bottom surgery that doesn't exist for others. I don't think they're seen as way more predatory or sexually perverted for wanting bottom surgery than other trans people (just using a packer gets you called a pervert walking around with a dildo in your pants, ffs...)

In fact, again, from what I've personally seen, I'd even say that's it's considered slightly more acceptable to want vaginoplasty than to want phalloplasty. I've seen, several times, places offering various trans surgeries listing every mainstream trans surgery and giving information about them, but suspiciously omitting phallo and meta. A "post-op" trans woman has a vagina. A "post-op" trans man has top surgery. I've lost count of how many trans people I've heard saying that vaginoplasty is indistinguishable from a cis vagina and then turning around to say that phalloplasty is just an ugly flesh tube. At some point I even read with my own two eyes an informative pamphlet about trans surgeries *made by a trans organization* saying positive things about the different types of vaginoplasty and reassuring people wanting it, but when it talked about phallo (I don't remember their stance on meta but the one on phallo really shocked me so it stuck), instead of just talking about the surgery neutrally like they were supposed to do, the text suddenly started criticizing people who wanted it for "conforming to cis society" or some stupid shit like that. Straight up, wanting vagina = good, wanting penis = bad. There's a huge taboo about wanting surgery to have a penis, even within the transmasc community. Everyone will say the most disgusting shit about it and try to discourage you to get it. Your motives get questioned, because obviously the only people who would get that kind of surgery are shallow, toxically masculine, "trying too hard to be like cis guys", wanting to become oppressors and planning to be rapists. They need to learn to deconstruct gender, don't they know they don't need a penis to be a man ? Clearly they haven't read enough feminist or queer theory. Oh, they have ? Well then, if they weren't misguided and still seek the evil penis surgery on purpose... It's clearly because they have bad intentions, they're predatory, power-hungry and probably fantasize about becoming a rapist...!!

So yeah, it kinda pissed me off. I don't really see why people feel the need to insist that if something is bad for trans women, then it must automatically be The Absolute Worse compared to every group. Idk.

I'm really sorry anon. <3 SRS should be normalized for everyone.

[jabberwockprince]

SPINA VENATORES A small organization of mercenaries working for Manus Vindictae, tasked with erasing people from history as a way to call upon the "Storm". Their targets' names, families, influence and connections to this world will be dragged into oblivion.

Individual profiles and some more info/ramblings under the cut <3

The whole point of Spina Venatores is to be a parallel to Vertin's own independent group of Arcanists - the same way St. Pavlov's Foundation has her, Manus Vindictae has Venison and Spina. They're the mouth and teeth of Manus.

But whereas Vertin aims to create a safe, neutral space for Arcanists to thrive without human influence despite being tied to the Foundation, Venison is aiming to create a paradise for those they care about and no one else due to the heavy influence Arcana and Manus have on them.

Spinas Venatores is, at its core, a cult that was allowed to grow thanks to Venison's codependent and obsessive mindset - with them as the leader, all the troublesome and rebellious members of Manus Vindictae (that are much too powerful to get rid of or who are still clinging on to their former lives) will simply be assimilated into Spina or pressured to comply with Manus Vindictae as a whole. The third secret option is dying <3.

They also serve as a narrative device to remind everyone of the fact that, no matter how hard one may try, there's no way EVERYONE can be saved from the "Storm" - all five main members are related in some way or another to Arcanists that Vertin has met, they're people that weren't lucky enough to be taken in, who found themselves in the right time and place for Manus Vindictae to take advantage of their vulnerable state.

R1999 also portrays a LOT of oppression from various minorities that overlap with each other in very interesting ways, so I also wanted them to tackle similar things that mean so much to me - they're problematic queers is what I'm trying to say lmfao

The thing they share is that all of them are delusional to a degree, and that they're constantly haunted and defined by their relationships to others. The loss and discovery of the self through another, Ship of Theseus, cannibalism, body horror, being transgender as a really visceral and intimate experience, an obsession for love in all of its forms etc etc.

I don't have the FULL scope of their backstories, but I do know who they're tied to!

Venison was Pavia's coworker in a constant, obsessive loop of wanting to kill and save each other. Mutton was part of Schneider's mafia and romantically involved with one of her oldest sisters. Chevon was a regular visitor in Necrologist's museum and a friend of hers, she later went on to exhibit his many, many tombstones. Poultry is the "Lilian" mentioned in Darley Clatter's Stories. And Veal is a mystery even to me </3

Their uniforms are meant to look outrageous and outlandish, entirely out of place with the setting and their respective eras/times, inspired by fantasy - just BARELY reminiscent of Manus Vindictae by virtue of using a similar palette, as a way to drive that feeling of not belonging and delusion even harder.

Whereas everyone else is dealing with very real issues, all members of Spina Venatores live pretty much in their own heads (similar to Forget Me Not and how Manus Vindictae causes their recruits to become... YEAH.....THOSE MONSTERS....)

Venison gets the BIG COAT and the biggest silhouette because they're responsible for pretty much 80% of what happens within Spina Venatores! Veal gets the more simple design to allude to their whole unassuming, shapeshifter/Doppelganger thing.

They all have ribcage/bone motifs in one way or another, most of their jewels are meant to look like rosaries, they wear the Manus Vindictae silver cross and Arcana's blue color more often than regular members of Manus. Also! Hands!! Love the fuckin hands!! DID YOU GUYS SEE DIGGERS' MANUS VINDICTAE SKIN???? YEAH.

The naming convention being. types of different meats. is entirely because of Venison, you can ALSO blame that entirely on them <3

[yourlilkaiju]

"Don't let the redemptioners see this." 🥺.....🙄 Please...

I could care less.

I could care less about whether or not someone hates Sephiroth or feels that he is better off being a compelling villain. I don't think that he should stay a villain. I think the villain should be Jenova. Should Sephiroth be considered for a normal life if not maybe somewhere along the lines of maybe an anti-hero? Perhaps. Maybe going up against injustices that affect people, which will eventually affect him. (A war veteran knows this shit.) And this will thus impact the normal life he'd so been hoping for. I honestly feel that there should somehow be a development in treatments as to how to separate Jenova cells from the body safely and effectively, which would thus lead to a gradual change in Sephiroth's appearance.

The key term here is gradual. As in expect at least a couple of decades before he is completely human again, if someone decides to break him out of the Mako crystal.

There are many things I feel on this topic. And frankly I could go on about it. But the issue remains that if I do, I would get nowhere in regards to the original intention of this post.

The fact that Sephiroth fans who believe in his redemption, are called redemptioners is kind of a step. Namely because this comes from a place of ignorance. For one, Sephiroth was a victim of circumstance. Two, the files in the underground library were not only kept in the Shinra mansion. But they were in Nibelheim, not too far off from a reactor that contained human experiments that disobeyed the laws of ethics and Jenova. All of this was run by Research and Development. Which was run by Hojo himself. The department that assigned the mission for Nibelheim was research and development. It was only to observe and report. Read that again.

So to be clear, the mission set for Nibelheim which was not intended for the neutralization and erasure of a town, but the observation and report of a Shinra reactor should have been completely harmless. And this observe and report mission, was coming from Hojo himself. Hojo knew that Jenova was in the reactor. The unlocked doors were too convenient. The access to the library and the classified files were too well placed. And what's more is that only one first class soldier was sent along with him. There weren't any others to train or attempt to bring into the fray. Sephiroth was intended to be the perfect soldier. He was frequently experimented on trained without kindness or reprieve. The only kindness he observed as far as we know was when he was fourteen, when he entered SOLDIER. Beyond that, everything he grew into could not be helped. He tried to be human. He tried to make the best of himself. In the end, the pressure became too much and the Jenova cells took to his brain like a parasite and soon, Jenova was in his head. Thinking for him, breathing for him- controlling his every waking thought and telling him that she's his mother. Even though his mother died shortly after he was born.

Many people are fans of Sephiroth because he is easy to relate to. Many want to see him live a normal life after so many years of adversity and sadness. Because he deserves to walk away from the misery. And usually, folks who don't like Sephiroth fans just like to grind their teeth at anything that doesn't worship the good guys that commit the same genocide that the good guys do for the sake of bringing down Shinra. (If they're reading this, sorry. You brought this truth upon yourselves. Now wallow in it.)

I understand that we all may have our stances and opinions about the one winged baddie. I get that he is one wicked babe. He's not for everyone and sometimes, for a lot of people, they just can't handle that much leather and sass. I get it. Not everyone is kinky or genuinely flirty with the black wingy feather boi. (Yes, I know there are some versions of him that are aro/ace. You can still be flirty with aro/ace so long as it isn't physical and doesn't actually go anywhere....also it must be enthusiastically reciprocated and CONSENSUAL. SSC, darlings.)

But I digress.

As a dominatrix towards people I don't know who ask for my...impactful consultations and integrative queries, Sephiroth is by far an inspirational being who very much represents abuse victims everywhere. And I don't think anti-Sephies understand that. Rather I don't know if they have the emotional maturity that's necessary to do so. Sephiroth has had his boundaries breached on numerous occasions and had been put into a situation where entropy was his life's motto. And when he was finally ready to leave Shinra, he did so. Just....not in the way he hoped.

Overall, it's okay for one to dislike a character. But don't make fun of others for wanting the devs to create a redemption arc for said character. With numerous pathways, please? We don't make fun of you for liking genocidal eco terrorists. No matter how you look at it, that's exactly what they did.

Hypocrites.

[pillarsalt]

Seconding that last ask about pretending that gendies' straight relationships are gay ughhh one of my best friends is non binary and getting more aggressive about it lately (meaning that i have to bend over backwards every two seconds to use the correct pronouns, since our language literally doesnt have a neutral one) and i have to hear her rants about how MUCH she hates her disgusting female body and how shes different from a woman bc she doesnt align with feminity and that all her boyfriends have been actually gay for dating her AND pretend 1) that i dont take all that harmful discourse regarding being a woman at heart and 2) that i dont hurt from seeing her like this because i really love her. Its. Exhausting. SORRY this got long i just dk what to do 😭

oh my goddd the whole thing with nonbinary women and the fixation on the men they sleep with being gay because gender... it's crazy, the desire to control the sexual orientations of others seems like a pattern in the trans community, although obviously some are worse than others. I mean it matches the fixation on controlling how others perceive them in their private minds, ie. "we can tell when you're just using our pronouns to be polite and you don't actually SEE us as our stated gender" like anyone's private thoughts are your business? Controlling what we can say out loud isn't enough?

(Kind of a tangent: but a while ago I remember jeffrey marsh making a video with his male partner ((idr if they're married)), talking about how when jeffrey's identity changed from man to nonbinary, the partner's had as well, because he wasn't identifying as gay anymore. He had always perceived himself to be gay, it was a big part of his identity through his life, but he loves Jeffrey, and Jeffrey is no longer a man, and gay men love men, therefore he can't be gay. The guy looked so dejected and jeffrey kept having to persuade him to talk. Does anyone else remember this? I wonder if I can find the video. ((Obviously the straight girls with their gay boyfriends are a very different scenario.)) )

Anyway, I feel your pain, the thing with the pronouns I can't even imagine. The pure narcissism of complicating the simple act of speaking for everyone around you, making sure everyone expends a little extra brain power when talking to or about you... simply because you say so! Boggling.

Unfortunately, as I said on the last ask, not much you can do. It is very very hard to convince someone so entrenched in it to hear you out, and obviously you don't want to lose her, there's no great solution. The best thing you can do is to be there for her if and when she comes around to reality. It might be good if you guys could do some kind of activities together that have nothing to do with gender shit, ideally outdoors. The less time spent scrolling and ruminating, the better. But most importantly, take care of yourself, and don't take any shit either. You seem like a good friend, I hope things work out eventually.

[shmowder]

Hello Mr Shmowder

Could I request some hcs for Daniil if the reader is afab and taking T shots? If Daniil would help them getting the testosterone and maybe even administering it himself

I’m not sure if that would be possible in the time era of pathologic but also if the reader had bottom growth how would he react to it

Also I really love the way you write everyone especially Daniil cause I just can’t help loving the prickly prick so I’m really happy there’s you making xreader content for us!

Thank you! you're so kind <33 I love writing for you guys, everyone has been surprisingly supportive and such a delight when it came to my x reader content. I was afraid of the backlash when I started posing patho x reader but I'm so happy I did!

-

Both trans Daniil and cis Daniil would be fully supportive of a trans reader - If you meant trans reader. But if it's simply an afab reader taking T shots, then that works too!

Thanatology was still a new science at the time, it was anyone's guess what goes on in that field.

Combating death is a rather broad term for any medical research facility, which is why no one questions Daniil when he keeps requesting monthly orders of hormones, you're going to tell the most infamous doctor in Thanatica "No"?

Good luck if he doesn't chew your head off with his insults first.

While he tends to be a bit prudish, Daniil has shown complete neutrality when it comes to queer people. He doesn't blink twice at Yulia confessing her infatuation of Eva to him. He has known Andrey before in college, who is an open bisexual.

He'd fully support his partner wanting to transition or take hormones.

In the worst case scenario, where he doesn't understand why you want this, it doesn't take much explanation for him to get where you're coming from. He's intellectual first and foremost. Your argument is completely sensible and fair to him.

If anything you'd open cis Daniil's eyes to read more about gender as a construct and research into the subject, while trans Daniil would fully relate and understand you without you having to say much.

People take for granted, looking the way they feel inside. While others have to continuously put in effort in order to reach a point where they're comfortable and happy with their bodies.

His only requirement is that you let him be the one to register the hormone shots to you, especially if you have no experience in the medical field.

He has a rather light hand, don't worry.

Daniil would keep a journal to observe your progress, note down the details in a file he keeps about you.

Act as your personal doctor and entrusted confidant; it's too risky to go to any other doctor about this during this conservative time period.

Your bodily changes, the hair growth, your vocal cords adjusting and thickening. The bottom growth is especially interesting to him, he's genuinely curious and finds the human body ability to adjust and change so beautiful.

This is honestly new grounds for him, even if he is trans, no two experiences are the same and your body could react in ways different than his.

Still, Daniil would try his best to answer your questions and reassure you about any concerns you may have. His medical degree isn't just for show. You'll be safe, he promises.

Your mood shifts are expected, and he isn't surprised when they arrive, alongside your drastic change in libido. Acne and everything that follows after regularly taking testosterone is completely normal. Your body is changing, and the hormone balance is shifting.

Daniil would be there by your side, both as a loving partner and a trusted medical expert.

While you might be a little shy or embarrassed about discussing these topics so openly, Daniil has had much more embarrassing conversations with other patients in his career.

He's jaded to the average person coyness, if anything he'll be the one insisting to check on your progress each week. Measuring your bottom growth, noting any other changes as he examines you over.

Daniil takes notice of how happier you seem these days, how you stare at yourself in the mirror more, how every milestone seems to send you over the moon.

He'd be lying if he said seeing you this happy and confident in your own image didn't make you instantly more attractive to him. The self-assured expression on your face as you look yourself over in the mirror after a shower, clearly enjoying what you see.

The first time he saw you wearing his clothes and filling them out nicely in all the right places, broad shoulders, and a masculine build.

Feeling his heart swell in his chest when you start wearing his cologne while going outside, watching you reestablish yourself and sense of style. Witnessing you coming nicely into your own person after so many years together.

The trips he took you on to act as your fashion advisor when it came to establishing a new wardrobe. Bringing you to his favourite tailor to get measured for a fitted suit.

Like a proud peacock, Daniil flourishes under the attention when you ask him for fashion advice. Puffing his chest and fluffing his feathers as you go through the selection of clothes he picked out from the men's section. How nicely they drape over your body.

And if your taste didn't happen to fall under the masculine umbrella? Daniil has no qualms about whichever style you decide on.

Wear it with pride. That's his advice. Walk with confidence no matter what article of clothing you end up deciding on.

Daniil's been there with you through thick and thin. This experience just reaffirms the strong bond between you two. No matter what happens, what petty arguments or mood clashing you two go through, at the end of the day, you will always find solace and acceptance in one another.

Because he'll come back into the room on his own accord when it's time to administrate the T shots for you, even as he's still giving you the silent treating for calling his new snake-skin shoes ugly.

He's careful, remaining diligent no matter how many times he has done this before. Wiping the area with a disinfecting cotton pad, measuring the content in the needle, and pushing it slightly to get all the air pockets out.

He wasn't lying when he said he has light hands, you barely feel anything but the small prick of the needle tip before it's over.

Feeling his warm body standing so close to your own, you stare at his unbuttoned vest as a way to distract yourself from the sight of the needle going into your skin.

"It's done," Daniil's voice held a soft edge to it, cupping one side of your face with his hand, moving his touch downstairs as he grips your chin, coaxing your head up to meet his eyes.

"You did well."

You realise one thing in that moment. Daniil needed to be the one to personally administrate the hormones to you, not just out of precaution and safety, but for his own comfort of mind.

The complete trust you have in him to keep showing up, to keep putting the effort and never complain or rush it. The deliberate care, the genuine need to be of service to you, to share your burden of responsibility too and not merely be supportive from the sidelines.

Daniil needs to act, he feels the need to be involved in some way to prove how useful he can be. To lessen the weight on your shoulders, to spare you from the mundane chores.

That nothing will push him away or steer him off this path he is determined to walk with you every single step.

Even as the mood shifts and emotional irregulations reach their peak. He might comprehend the scientific explanation behind it but that doesn't change the fact he is still mere human, the two of you are. And his hurt can still be hurt, his ego can still be bruised.

But his resolve will never shatter. That is the one thing he is sure of.

[quinloki]

Mini vent feel free to ignore

NGL I've always been proud of my height(178cm/5'10) but damn if trying to read x reader fics isn't difficult... I'm never going to be small or petite and I dunno it's hard. Glad 1P gives me a taste of that with how ridiculously sized some of the guys are

No, I can appreciate those feels.

It's one of those things where I do try to make my readers as neutral as possible, but also like - I have been a full 5'00" since I was 12.

That's 30 years at this height.

There is probably a *lot* of stuff I write that unconsciously marks the reader as Short-SHORT without meaning to, because it's a default perspective for me. Now, granted, when I'm writing Kid, or Crocodile, or Doffy, these are BIG guys. Everyone is going to feel small, an Kid's not just big in a height sense, he's a BIG GUY.

I also avoid describing body types anymore than I have to, but I don't think I could write a specifically fat reader. I mean, *I* am fat, I am most certainly 100% Not Thin, or slender, or athletic in any capacity. But I mean, I'm also flexible, and I might have way more stomach than I'd like, but I can still lift the back end of an empty Prius.

To which, I just mean, fat doesn't equate to someone being fit or not, so even when I write a feisty reader, I don't *mean* to imply they're fit. Or not. I mean to try and leave it open to the reader themselves.

The hardest part of X Readers isn't just trying to make them as close to one-size-fits-all as you can, but also in understanding we all make assumptions on both sides of the equation. Writer and Reader both.

That said, representation is awesome, so I LOVE x reader stories that do get into some description. Black Readers, Fat Readers, [Insert Whatever here] Readers, Readers that are almost practically OCs.

In the end, the author should enjoy writing it, and the reader should enjoy reading it, and that requires a lot of work on both sides. Cause even self-indulgent writing is still a lot of work, and shifting through mountains of fic is also a good bit of work.

But, I do understand your frustration. I've heard a few people struggle with it... You know, I realize this is on anon, but if there's a story I've written that you've really enjoyed, if there's ANYTHING you want to take time to point out to me and say "this really implies smallness because in my experience x,y,z." I can't promise anything, but it wouldn't hurt either.

It'd be good education for me - learning about other people's experiences will always help me be a better writer. I've certainly experienced a lot personally, but I'll still only ever have my own perspective. I can't promise I'll write a specifically-tall-reader story, but it might help me pull my writing into more truly neutral territory so I'm not subconsciously just writing all I know.

[the-fiction-will-knit-the-real]

and now time for some discussion about personal gender questioning

I am biologically female (and quite happy with that), and have been out as bigender for many years now

I've thought for most of that time that being a man and a woman simultaneously feels right for me. I've always, since childhood, been someone who people had trouble deciding, upon seeing me, what pronouns to use. I truly do not understand why - I guess I must have a more masculine body type than most women? I also rarely wear makeup and don't dress particularly femininely, but I do dress to show off the boobs (they're nice), so I really don't know

I also make friends with guys far easier than with women - guys have always been more willing to see me as 'one of the dudes' and be friendly, while many women are uncomfortable to have me in women's spaces, so I stopped going to such places

But lately I've been realizing that I'm really hurt by people not ever seeing me as a woman. It's led to romantic rejection multiple times, and honestly I haven't done anything to purposely not be seen as a woman (and on a few occasions I've even put in the opposite effort), and it's been making me feel really unattractive

So now I'm questioning whether being bigender is the right gender identity for myself after all, or if I just felt pushed into that by other people not seeing me as a woman. Maybe I'm just a woman after all?

But also, I respect dudehood and masculinity so much? And I do really like using my gender as a way to show people that men and women are not opposites, and are not even opposite ends of some spectrum, but are two possible ways of being that can and do overlap greatly and are both great ways to be. I use the term "gender positive" for myself instead of "gender neutral" for this reason

and before the vile sides of this website come after other people, I want to be 100% clear that all this questioning is mine and mine alone, it says NOTHING about any other person's gender identity. this includes but is not limited to:

- Everyone is valid in their own gender identity. This includes trans people, cis people, nonbinary and genderqueer folks, xenogenders, people who don't or can't medically transition, people who don't "look like" their gender identity, people who aren't "out" for any reason, questioners, detransitioners, EVERYONE

- Being a man is a great thing to be - whether you're cis or trans. It's patriarchy that is the problem, NOT men. Terfs and radfems can fuck off

- Being a woman is also a great thing to be. Feeling positive about your own gender, regardless of what it is, is a great thing

- Intersex people are valid too, regardless of what gender they are or are not. I don't seem to be one of you, as far as I can tell, but have high respect and support for your particular unique struggle

[hi-im-pomni]

how do you feel about the other people in the circus?

Hm, part of me just wants to say I like everyone well enough and leave it at that, but something is telling me you probably want a more detailed answer than that, huh? I guess I'll just go down the list.

I'll start with Kinger, he's...Well, if you've ever met him before, you probably already know where I'm going with this. He spends most of his time hiding out in his pillow fort, and before I never really understood why, but now I do. He's a really, really kind and caring person, but unfortunately he's got some pretty major problems that make it difficult for him to really "function" if that's the right word. I really do wish there was more that me or anyone else could do for him.

Then there's Gangle, she's definitely an interesting person. I haven't really gotten many chances to interact with her, but I do really want to get to know her better, I'm just a little bad at it, I guess. There's been a few times where she's honestly kind of scared me, but I don't really think she meant it. She's not a malicious or cruel person, and I do think she has a lot going on inside her head that she doesn't really talk about. I guess we all do, huh? But she's a really talented artist too, and I really wouldn't mind getting to know her better.

Zooble is also someone I don't really know very well, and from what I understand they have a lot going on, especially to do with their body. Whenever they talk about it I'm reminded of how lucky I got when I ended up in this body, it doesn't feel "wrong" to be in, and I do think I take that for granted sometimes considering other people aren't really so lucky. Zooble can be really rude sometimes but they also basically never start it, and I do think they're a kind person at heart. They just intimidate me to the point where I find it difficult to know what to say or do around them. I also do wish there was more I could do, I just don't know how to approach it and I'm kinda scared I'll mess something up. I've noticed them and Gangle getting closer to each other and I do really hope they can help each other in some way.

Ragatha is someone who has been nice to me and has been looking out for me since I arrived here at the Circus. She's very sweet and somehow manages to remain positive in spite of, well, everything. I kinda look up to her in a way, and she's always been in my corner. I appreciate a lot of what she does for me and everyone else in the circus. Typically when I feel like I need to get something off my chest or I just want to talk, she's normally always open for that sort of thing, and I don't think she realizes just how invaluable it can be some days. I just wish she would open up a little more, unfortunately the only times she has is when she was a bit...Let's say "under the weather"? But really, she is a good friend to me, and I try to be one for her too.

Jax is, well...Jax. I somehow have the most to say about him and the least to say. I know he can be a real jerk, trust me, I've seen it first hand, but it's not all that he is. At least I don't think so. I'm hesitant around him most days and he definitely has me keeping my guard up but I don't think he's a bad person. Everyone else is pretty neutral towards him or actively dislikes him, he and Ragatha like to fight a lot, but I don't hate him. I don't know if I ever could, really. He's not evil is what I think I'm trying to say, anyway. This might sound a little weird and I don't really know why exactly I feel this way but I think under all of it he's a layered and complicated guy and I do really think he cares about all of us in his own, weird little way. I hope to understand him a little better one day, and I hope that maybe one day he tries to understand me, too.

Oh, man, I just realized I'm rambling again, aren't I? Sorry, guess I just have a lot on my mind. Maybe Caine was right when he said that answering questions would help me express my mind a little more? I dunno, but sorry for all the paragraphs. I hope this answer is helpful to you anyway, whoever you are and whatever reason you might be asking.

[cannibal-nightmares]

did you know may is mental health awareness month?

text under the read more: an unreality ramble about my dog. he is a good boy.

have a peaceful song -

where do I even begin

I guess I'll start with that I don't like talking about my delusions. there's some I want to talk about but can't because they're either scary and/or too confusing in that theyre too real. or im "not allowed" to. but this one exists in a neutral space, so a neutral story this will be

I only got him when he was 1½ years old and he was kenneled at the shelter w another dog identical to him, but if he wasn't someone's service/emotional support animal, then he must have been in a past life. or he has a human consciousness. or something. my friends joke about the latter often but I'll get there in a second. the way he responds to my emotions and actions is uncanny. he is a rather quiet dog, but if he notices me freeze up and go quiet to an uncharacteristic degree, he will very blatantly try to get my attention. if I lie on the floor from anxiety, he will lie on my legs; if I lie on the floor in being depressed, he will get in my face. he's intervened self harm (namely hitting, but, if he's alert, he's interrupted trichotillomania episodes). The thing is, idk where he gets it from. I didn't train him to do any of these things

my friends joke that's he's "just a dude." "a man in a dog's body" etc. it *is* a funny joke. he likes people more than other dogs; his eye contact is oddly human-like (ask my friends). it *is* a funny joke, and the following isn't directly related, but I do have great fears about him. some of which the noise isn't going to let me say outloud here but. what I can: sometimes I fear it's true--an organic thought outside of what my friends have said, the two ideas don't feel the same--or perhaps that he was someone in a past life. or is a positive-neutral force sent to look after me. idk. it's hard to explain why while it would be/is theoretically positive, how it is still unnerving. and how it feels like something will change in one direction or another when I post this. I digress. He's just a guy. I have bigger fears on it, but that's the simple of it.

A coworker asked and suggested why I don't get a service dog. at first, I considered the question as courteous, but then realized... I struggle to walk my current dog, if I am honest. I do it, I take him out every day, etc, but as much as I got a dog to help me w paranoia, it has not curbed it. in ways, in ways, it has made it worse. countless of times I have tried to walk him around the block, made it halfway, and turned around due to feeling like a force was watching me, like something was waiting around the corner, like there were traps ahead, and many other more specific and pertinent things I am not allowed to say here (plus it'd be safer if I didnt). taking him outside is like flipping on a geiger counter to gauge the state of the day. I feel really bad for him in this. I can't imagine trying to get a proper service animal in these regards.

My friends like to joke that he's some sort of bending entity in that he's just shaped funny. I mean, he is. His legs are goofy-long, his nose is angled funny off of his snout, his ears are huge. Etc. But--again, separate from what they've said--sometimes I look at him and he doesn't feel real. It's difficult to explain. I look at him and it's like I'm missing something. Like how you can't reach into a tv and grab what's on the screen. idk.

The reason I'm saying all of this is because... As much as I am sometimes scared he isn't real to some degree, I consider that, even if he isn't, I think he's worth "wasting time" on. I love him, he's a good little guy, and so far, at least, everyone is pretending along. Sometimes I pick him up and feel like a question mark is above my head hahaha. Like I'm missing something. But he's worth my time. He's worth my time in the same way daydreaming can be fun. I don't know how to fckng word this. He is good. Real or not, he is good. I can't imagine trying to "prove" his "realness," and I also don't know how. I don't mind devoting time to him, real or not, because he is good. agh. I hope this makes sense. I've been sitting on these thoughts for at least three years now.

[nyxivy]

Dude your boorman fic fed my ❤ I loved it soooooooo much. If you ever do another one you should definitely do one in the Nockmaar castle. If not a graydon one where he's possessed and talking to Y/N like he did with elora which I think was episode 4. They're just sooooo fine.

thank you so much!! <3 There are defo more boorman fics brewing but i just loved the graydon idea so much i just had to!! as always its a gender neutral reader, the reader's a bit angry in this one but i don't think they actually dislike anyone they're just stressed. hope you enjoy!! <3 <3

It was hell to see Graydon like this, for almost as long as you had been a knight, you had been his personal protector. You were best friends and companions in almost everything you did, even on your days off. You had been there the day he-  the day his brother died. You’d seen the thing that had taken control of his mind and body and you had vowed to yourself that you’d never let anything like that in again.

Yet here you were, Graydon chained by his wrists, kneeling on the cold, damp floor of Nockmaar castle of all places. You hadn’t left his side since the injury, your defences heightened to the point it took several minutes of debate to even let Boorman help you carry Graydon inside, you would have slung him over your shoulder and done it completely yourself. Now you knelt beside him, a dirty rag in your hand to periodically wipe sweat from his forehead or vomit from his chin. Your heart clenched every time he wretched and you think you must look as heartbroken as you feel because the others keep looking at you almost as worriedly as they looked at Graydon.

“What happened to Ballentine and Merrick is gonna happen to me,” Graydon says quietly into the silence of the cavernous room. It feels like he’s voicing a thought that everyone’s having so you screw your eyes shut and shake your head almost imperceptibly. You knew this was going to happen, Graydon was far too smart and far too righteous for his own good and you swear if he suggests any one of you kill him you were going to scream.

“And you guys are gonna have to stop me before I. . .”

A well timed thunderclap echoes through the room as your grip tightens on his tunic where your hand is laid on his shoulder to keep him steady. You're unable to muster up anything in response so you just swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat.

In the background you can hear Elora questioning Willow but all you can hear is the rushing of blood in your ears, you only pay attention when Graydon speaks again and you can’t help but smile, of course he can still recite the epic tale of Bavmorda’s defeat whilst in his condition. He was obsessed with stuff like this. It was one of the things you lov-  admired about him. At the end of his speech he retched again.

Throughout the evening you attempted to feed him tiny morsels of food, you hadn’t said a word to the others, the only sounds you made were to murmur things to Graydon calmingly and the only time you moved was to fetch him water, more food or a clean rag. Right now you sat cross-legged with his head resting on your thigh, you stroked his head lovingly and hummed softly so that only you and Graydon could hear it, although you wouldn’t have really cared if the others did hear.

“How long does he have?” 

The sound of Jade’s voice catches your attention although you don’t look up

“Until it takes hold?”

Eventuallly, Willow answers her 

“Not long. Some time in the small hours of the morning he’ll lose control”

“I mean we all know what has to be done.” Kit says gravely

This does make you look up and you hurl a venomous look at her

“You little sh-” you begin, your voice croaky from the hours spent in silence but still seething with rage.

“Kit’s right” Graydon says quietly, laying a gentle hand on your leg, halting you before you can start to throw insults around.

“I’ve had some experience with this before and I know I’m not strong enough to stop it. . . I don’t want to hurt you guys. . .But I will”

His voice is so forlorn that it only hardens your resolve.

“You are not dying tonight,” Your voice is steely but your eyes are soft as you put a hand on the back of his neck and press your forehead to his. It was perhaps too intimate a gesture for the company but you had left your manners behind long ago.

Elora stands from where she was seated besides the two of you

“If Her Highness is in such a hurry to see it done, she ought to do it herself.”

You were glad to have at least one ally in this

“Oh, you don’t think I will?”

“Uh, I don’t” Boorman pipes up from his place beside the fire, his mouth still full. “Killin’ someone who isn’t trying to kill you back, it's not an easy thing to do”

You stand to take a step towards them, besides Elora, your hand going to your sword at your belt threateningly.

“There’ll definitely be someone trying to kill her back”

Elora pleads that there must be something Willow could do and you can’t help but agree, he was supposed to be the greatest sorcerer in the world. If Graydon died tonight and his personal fucking hero; the allmighty sorcerer Willow couldn’t save him you might just kill everyone in this room and then yourself.

When Willow agrees to at least attempt to help Graydon, you follow him out of the room and into what looks like a large storage cupboard, although you recognise very few of the ingredients in the jars on the shelves. You hurry to help everyone collect the ingredients and tools Willow listed off, nervous about leaving Graydon for too long.

“We can’t allow Graydon’s infection to pass to any of us, if it does we won't get out of here alive” Willow says as everyone gathers at a table ready to split up to their own tasks. You’re biting your nails, restless about getting back to Graydon.

“How infectious are you talking, like if he coughs on us? Or if I touch him and then I, you know, touch my face or. . .”

“I’ve been touching him all night, you couldn’t have said something before?” You demand. You can tell Boorman’s about to make a comment without even having to look at him “Not like that” You growl.

“The vermiscus goo.” Willow clarifies “Don’t sniff it, don’t wipe it, don’t eat it”

“Why would we eat it?” Elora ponders but you’re already done with this conversation and about halfway to the door when Willow seems to remember something else.

“Wait! There’s one thing even more important than that. No matter what, stay out of the High Tower. It’s maybe, probably a portal to the Netherworld”

“Portal to the Netherworld,” You mutter “Of course it is”

There’s another thunderclap and you leave the room before anyone else says another word.

Once you’ve returned to Graydon you deposit your armfuls of ingredients on a small table and when Willow arrives not long after you , you help Graydon into a reclined position on another kind of table. 

“Hey, now this is looking like a real exorcism” You joke, trying to lighten the mood. 

Graydon chuckles but it quickly turns into a cough. When Kit returns with the rest of the ingredients, you busy yourself with mashing together something the way Willow instructed, if you listen to her for more than five seconds right now you’re not sure if you could stop yourself from doing something stupid and what Graydon really doesn’t need right now is a fight. You had always been wary of Kit. She didn’t want to get married, you get that, but the way she treated Graydon had been grating on you from the moment you met her. Graydon had tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but your patience was wearing thin. It’s not even like her status as Graydon’s fiance meant she was trying to take him away from you. Not that you owned him, obviously, but you couldn’t help the bubbling jealousy beneath the surface that she was the one who got to marry him. And now she was basically advocating for his death, without even trying to save him. It was a double edged sword, you hated that she didn’t like Graydon but if she was any kinder to him your jealousy would probably be unbearable.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Willow puts a hand on your shoulder and you realise that the ingredients are far past mashed together and the mortar and pestle in your hands are gripped so tightly that they threaten to shatter. Willow gives you a tight lipped sympathetic smile and takes the bowl from you gently.

When Willow pulls out a large pair of shears you jump to your feet, ready to defend Graydon once again but Willow just uses them to cut open his shirt. 

You’d seen his scars a few times before, the first time when you had been showing him some of your scars and he was adamant he had you beat and you wouldn’t let it go until he showed you, the second time you had burst into his room while he was changing, much to the embarrassment of you both and the third time on one glorious summer evening when the two of you had been walking by a lake and you had convinced him to come swimming with you. He was usually very wary of anyone else seeing his scars but you had convinced him it was just the two of you. The memories flashed before your eyes as you put a comforting hand on his shoulder while he explained them to Willow and Elora. You wanted to tell them to mind their own fucking business but you were trying to keep a hold of your temper for Graydons sake and pissing off the only two people who might be able to save him was not smart.

Willow retreats to grab a bucket from his workstation and returns, gesturing for you to move out of the way. Reluctantly and with one final squeeze to his shoulder you step back to stand besides Elora. 

Graydon screams as the liquid from the bucket connects with his flesh. You screw your eyes shut, the sizzling sound of his flesh making you want to vomit or curl up into a ball or both. Elora’s hand finds yours and she squeezes you tightly. You squeeze her hand back and the two of you stand there for what feels like an eternity.

You feel utterly fucking useless, hours go by and all you can do is stand and watch. You’re not a sorcerer, you don’t know how to do spells or make potions. Hell, you’re not even that good at cooking. You knew how to fight, this sorcery stuff was Graydon's specialty, if only you could just punch this fucking Lich out of him. The sound of Willow and Elora chanting was driving you insane, the same gibberish over and over again and nothing seemed to be happening. Even in his state Graydon was able to correct Elora’s pronunciation of the spell. It made you smile despite the circumstances

Eventually Kit returned with the final ingredients. Graydon seemed to have settled down into a restless sleep while Elora and Willow finished the salve. You hovered nervously at Graydon’s side, biting your nails as you watch the two sorcerers work. Willow collects a blob of the salve on the tip of a knife that Boorman had retrieved earlier and presses it to the wound at Graydon’s shoulder. You tense up ready for the screaming to start again but it doesn’t seem to bother him. You don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign.

Suddenly he sits bolt upright, his hands coming to fists in Willows tunic 

“Get me some water, peck”

It was Graydon's voice but it didn’t sound like him at all.

“Or you die. Understand? Water”

Elora hurries to fetch him water and you take a step forward, your hand outstretched tentatively, unsure if you should touch him or not.

“Graydon?” You ask softly, his eyes snap to you before his head flies back and the sound of Airk’s voice emanates from his throat.

“It’s not Airk, it’s the Lich, trying to break our concentration” Willow warns. 

Unable to cope, Kit runs from the room and Elora and Willow continue their chanting. When Graydon's voice switches to Mims, addressing Willow now he stuffs a rag in his mouth and your resolve breaks. You don’t care if you’re risking infecting yourself, you sink to your knees at Graydon’s side, an arm reach over his chest to hold him, your other hand around his chained bicep. You press your forehead to his side and the sound of Elora and Willow chanting and then breaking into argument is far in the distance. You focus on the fact you can still hear him breathing and you murmur quietly to him, telling him it’s gonna be alright. And that Willow and Elora are going to save him. Eventually you feel a hand on your shoulder, it’s Willow, holding some sort of instrument that looks more like a weapon than anything that would be used to heal someone. He has a grave look on his face

“You need to leave. You’re not going to want to see this.”

Silently you stand, and give Graydon one last look before leaving the room. You hadn’t noticed that Elora had left but there was no sight of her as you’re walking down the corridor. Piercing through the silence, Graydon’s screams start up again and you clap your hands over your ears and take off running, you need to get away from this awful place. Eventually, when you can no longer hear Graydon’s screams you stop running, you don’t know where you are, all the corridors look the same anyway, you sink down against the wall, bringing your knees up to your chest. There you sit, huddled up against the wall for what could have been minutes or hours. Eventually you’re too exhausted to keep your eyes open and you doze off. You think you’re dreaming at first, you can hear Graydon’s voice echoing around you but as it gets closer and you begin to wake up you can still hear his voice, and is that Elora too? You scramble to your feet and run towards the sound.

“Graydon?” You call, the hope in your voice is obvious.

You turn a corner and there he is, looking a little bit worse for wear but otherwise unharmed. You race towards him, collecting him in a bone crushing hug

“What happened?” You demand “Where’s Willow?”

They explain what Graydon told Elora, that the exorcism worked but now the Lich was possessing Willow and they needed to find him. Elora tells you that they think he might be in the High Tower and you nod, it makes sense but you can’t help but get a bad feeling about it in the pit of your stomach. Something wasn’t right. 

Right now though you couldn’t care less, with Graydon’s hand clutched in yours you felt like you could do anything and you were going to kick that Lich’s ass.

The three of you race up to the High Tower, Elora leading the way. Every so often, you catch Graydon glancing over at you with a smile and you wonder how much of the evening he remembers. The butterflies in your stomach soon overtake the previous unease and you’re almost embarrassed by how much of a wreck you were earlier. The door to the High Tower creaks open, revealing a dark and dusty yet empty room.

“He’s not here” Elora says, sounding defeated.

Graydon’s hand slips from yours and he begins to walk slowly into the room.

“No.” he says. You frown.

“I don’t understand, where could he be?”

“I don’t know, but maybe it’s okay.”

“What do you mean okay? We have to find him before it’s too late”

“Don’t you see?”

The sinking feeling in your stomach has returned and you find your hand creeping towards your sword.

“It doesn’t matter.” The previously unlit candles spring to life and you feel sick.

Graydon turns to face the two of you, two minutes ago he had looked unharmed, now it looked like his skin was blistering and peeling from his face. 

You unsheath your sword, it feels heavy in your hands as Graydon says

“He can’t help you anymore.”

Elora runs for the door but an unseen force slams it shut before she can reach it. You don’t take your eyes off Graydon

“We’re gonna finish the ritual. Tonight”

You take a step towards him

“Graydon, I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me,” you plead “this isn’t you”

“I’ve never felt stronger” His voice is distorted. This is not the Graydon you know. And it certainly isn’t the Graydon you love. He picks up a boulder from the floor and hoists it over his shoulder.

“Look! I’m strong now! I can finally protect you like you want. You don’t have to be the one looking after me all the time” His voice breaks and you hear the real Graydon underneath and your heart shatters. You shake your head at him, clutching your sword in both hands, terrified that you’re going to have to use it. 

“That is not what I want. You’re already strong, Graydon,” 

You can hear your blood rushing in your ears, your head is pounding, there’s definitely something fucked up about this tower. The tears you’ve been holding back prick at your eyes and threaten to spill out.

“You’re strong in ways that matter! In the real way! You’re smart and kind, I wish I was more like you!” Your voice cracks and you’re desperately trying not to let the tears spill out. Graydon looks unphased but you can see something swimming in his eyes. The real him is still there.

Suddenly the door swings open and Willow appears

“What did I say was the number one most important safety rule?”

Graydon hurls his rock at Willow who dives out of the way just in time. You launch yourself at Graydon, who just flings you backwards with a flick of his wrist where you fly into the door, hitting the back of your head with a slam. You black out for just a second but when you come to Graydon has Elora levitating high into the air.

“So tell me, how will you defeat us?”

You stand as willow says 

“Same as last time, with my friends.”

The door opens and Kit, Jade and Boorman stand besides you. You think for a moment that Graydon looks worried and is soon proved right when Willow uses his staff to send him flying backwards into the wall. Kit, Jade and Boorman run to pin him down. You’re still dazed, using a pillar to stop yourself from collapsing back on the floor when you hear Boorman's voice.

“We have to do it”

You know exactly what he means and you let out a yell, hurling yourself towards him. You are not letting anyone kill your best friend. Your tousle with Boorman for a moment, you think you’ve just got the upper hand when he lands a blow right to the bruise on the back of your head. Your vision swims and he manages to get a grip on your arms, holding you as you struggle against him. You scream in frustration, the tears finally spilling over onto your cheeks. Kit and Jade still battle to hold Graydon down although Jade has her sword half unsheathed and only Kit’s exclamation to wait stops her from using it. You’re sobbing now, fighting fruitlessly against Boorman’s hold. You just need to get to him, you just need to be with him. The world grows strangely silent as you turn your attention to Elora

“Please-!” you choke out “You need to save him please”

Slowly she makes her way over to you, you think it has nothing to do with your pleading and everything to do with whatever it was Kit just said to her but you don’t care. You just need her to save him. She holds her hand out to you and reluctantly Boorman lets you go to take it.

“I need your help” she says

You shake your head, the tears still flowing. 

“I’m no good at that shit. I can’t do magic. That’s Graydon’s thing”

“Do you love him?”

You’re taken aback but slowly you nod

“Then you can do it.”

She leads you over to Graydon who doesn’t fight back as Jade relinquishes her hold on him. Elora’s hand remains firmly in yours as you lean over the man you love. You feel as though he’s staring directly into your soul as your eyes flutter shut and your lips connect, the taste of him mingling with your salty tears. When you part you can see the wisps of gold light, streaming out from his mouth and into yours and when you turn to look you can see it travelling through your arm and into Elora where your hands connect. You watch as it dissipates out of her into the night air and you turn around to see Graydon staring at you in awe. You sob, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your head in his neck

“You asshole, don’t ever do that to me again” You blubber. His hand comes up to the back of your head and he laughs breathlessly 

“I knew you could do it.”

[toi-monogatari]

Alikor

Alikor is my "first" Tav

(the first one I actually made was for a server with friends and I kinda can't open that game and we haven't played for such a long time I forgot the name and looks of that character)

Alikor is just a Tav. Not a durge.

They were made at first to just be me, but I ended up making them so Astarion crazy That I reload by almost every "Astarion Disapproved" tag.

Gender: non binary (they/them)

Class: bard

Race: tiefling

They're kind yet chaotic. They did help the druids and killed all of the goblins. They do not like slavery so they free everyone they can and killed Nere and the spider guy.

The party is: astarion, gale and karlach

Will is there as demon.

They love to play music to the group in evenings and can't bare to see others sad. She misses her family and wished that Alfira was there.

Now for a back story. This is a work in progress.

She and Alfira are sisters. They used to live together in the mountains and learning music. They got split up just before they got attacked by the goblins and Alikor got taken by the mind flayers. Once they found eachother again, they decided it will be saver for Alfira to go with the other tieflings, while Alikor would get rid of the tadpole.

Alikor studied history and became a lore bard. They sing of tales of the past, while writing stories of now.

Relationships:

Some evenings they'd sit together with Gale to write songs together, as he is proficient in writing poems. They're friends and respect eachother and each others space. They won't let him kill himself, whatever it takes. They'd love to actually turn his teacher into cheese.

Her and Karlachs relationship is kind of motherly. Karlach treats them like a child often, taking care of them and making sure they eat and take care of themselves, which they often forget while taking care of everyone else.

Shart and them are not on the best terms. As alikor often makes chaotic decisions, shart often gets upset about them.

Then and wyll are neutral together. They try to make wyll accept his new body, teaching him that having horns is not half as bad as it might seem.

Now for astarion... When they first met, Alikor was suspicious about the elf. But after a while they grew more curious about them.

That night... They almost died letting him drink. It was a wild night.

After that they slowly grew closer. He often disagreed with their terms but that's what comes with a person who wants to save people.

At the current moment in the game (shar temple act 2) they're dating.

Tell me if you have any questions about them :3

And feel free to draw my tavs.

Perhaps I'll do some incorrect quotes with them.

[violetren]

I recently saw a post talking about how it's possible (not stated in canon) that the reason Jaune had such a negative opinion of Ascension is because the Curious Cat tried to possess him and when they failed, called it failed Ascension to play innocent, and fuck if that isn't the coolest idea.

Obviously canon went a different direction grounding Jaune's dislike of CC in the uncertainty surrounding Alyx and Luis's return to Remnant and my theory on why the writers did this was so that they could keep the CC in a more neutral appearing position, playing up the idea of Jaune having gone full paranoid to add ambiguity, so that CC's ultimate betrayal against Ruby would hit with maximum impact.

And depending on your perspective there is a way they could have made Jaune almost getting taken over canon without necessarily lessening the impact of the Cat's heel turn. However, it wouldn't have the same type of impact. I think it would still be dramatic and devastating to Ruby, but it'd be kind of an apple's and oranges comparison to canon.

Everything plays out pretty much the same at first, right up until Jaune sees the Curious Cat with team RWBY. He reacts just as bad if not worse. The entire time the CC is just So Shocked and Sad and Worried About Jaune. Just full on condescension masking as sorrowful concern.

Jaune tries to describe the attempted takeover but the CC preys on the fact that team RWBY has seen them actually help others to ascend by giving them part of themself.

Jaune is traumatised as fuck and struggling to get the words out to clearly describe how violating it was to have something try and force its way into his body and take control of his mind. And CC cuts across his attempts with apologies about how they didn't know their usual method of helping Afteran's would affect an outsider in such a way. They use placating words thick with false remorse and concern for Jaune's well-being and graciously removes themself from the groups presence just before the punderstorm framing themself as the gracious reasonable one in the scenario. They're leaving because Jaune isn't okay and of course CC doesn't want that. They'll try apologising and helping AGAIN once Jaune has calmed down. Maybe team RWBY can help Jaune regain some objectivity?

In short, the Curious Cat full on gaslights Jaune and uses team RWBY's lack of both knowledge and context against everyone. They feed in a narrative that feels fully plausible based on everything we've seen and make Jaune look hysterical.

The Cat is just a little guy, not always has helpful as they could be but that's everyone in this weird ass world, it doesn't mean they're malicious. Jaune has just been through a lot, CC would never say he's gone crazy, just that he hasn't been quite right after Alyx's betrayal with the poison and what-not.

It's framed so that further attempts to explain from Jaune just sound so tragic, or like he's grasping for some reason any reason that might make CC look bad. He tries to explain what it was like and RWBY all just smile and nod sympathetically and explain how they saw the Cat give part of their soul to The Red Prince and The Herbalist to send them back to the tree, and how it's hard to know what effects of the Ever After's weirdness has on people from Remnant. And with those people he loves and trusts giving the same lines as CC Jaune's attempts get even more disjointed, because he trusts these guys and if they aren't convinced the Cat did anything bad maybe he is just over-reacting.

It's NOW that he brings up the whole mess of unknowns around Alyx and Luis leaving the Ever After because he knows SOMETHING bad happened, he knows the Cat is dangerous, he just needs to find a way to explain it that makes it make sense to his friends. RWBY love him but they can tell he's been so much and compared to the other accused crimes against the Cat it just feels like such a paper thin excuse, that they are just heartbroken seeing him so desperately try to make his outburst seem legitimate and proportionate to the situation. Eventually Jaune realises he isn't making headway and just kinda shuts down. If they don't wanna listen? Fine. There is a lot of work to do. Just stop looking at him with pity. Stop looking at him like he's crazy.

None of this is helped by his manic need to save the Paper Pleasers.

So, we fast forward a little. The Curious Cat does it's heel turn and tries to hollow out what is left of Ruby's heart and take over her body it still hits like a hammer.

Because Ruby is getting fucking drop kicked while she's down, but more than that. Jaune was right. Jaune survived this same horror by the skin of his teeth, and they believed the creature that put him through that instead of him. They became tools used to further hurt their friend. For Ruby it would have been another moment of "I've failed someone I love" and would have been another fracture point driving her to that cup of tea. Overall, it's horrifying. It's devastating.

And sure a lot of folks, Jaune stans, abuse survivors and combinations thereof might very well have believed Jaune from the start and seen the Cat's betrayal coming (some prolly still did even with what we got in canon), but even then the relief and validation of being proved right would have still have created a powerful moment and while that vindication might have distracted a small portion of the audience from the abject fear of watching one of our titular characters almost get body jacked it would have still be insanely memorable and intense.

Idk. Maybe it would have taken too much focus away from Ruby's own mental breakdown and maybe making it that deep of an issue would have just painted them into a corner where they wouldn't have the space to be able to address it with the proper gravitas in Volume 10 (which is probably gonna be VERY busy trying to catch everyone up and reconnect them while also STILL fighting Salem) and didn't want to deal with the potential backlash of side-lining the recovery from that trauma so they just didn't do it. But like. Still a cool as fuck concept to play with in the FNDM sandpit.