#I want to feel neutral about their body. they're just some guy. everyone's just some guy. I don't need to feel anything abt everyone

[microtyalm13]

How would your ocs react to a partner whos very vocal and loud in bed, like every moment they can't go without spouting some type of praise. . . ask, totally not based on a chat im having - 🐠🎩

mmmhehehhe... < З I LIKE THIS QUESTION DEAR FISH ANON. okaaaayyy lessgooo.... also feel free to send me more questions like this one, it was fun to write for everyone <3 deity, naga, monster under the bed, kikimora, fallen god, mothman x reader. derzena x fem!reader, the rest is gender-neutral. there could be mistakes and im npt s orrty

gavriil. — the louder you are the better, honestly. gavriil here is a provider, he cares about your pleasure more than his own, so there's nothing more rewarding than to hear your voice break so deliciously. sex with him is a praising galore... loves receiving it too! he's very talkative and mostly breathes heavily or hums in amusement/delight. if you don't want to make noise on principle, that's a whole different story. will take it as a challenge. will fuck the noises out of you. breaking your indifferent facade until you're nothing but a drooling, whining mess always makes him so smug and proud.

xiaolong. — prefers it if you're at least somewhat vocal because he want to hear how good he makes you feel, so you being so unashamed is perfect for him. loves cutting off your never-ending stream of sweet words and whimpers by kissing you. will remind you to keep it down sometimes though, because "you don't want the whole inn to hear your pretty moans now, do you? they're reserved for my ears only, isn't that right, dear? mmhm, that's it". can't get enough of how lovely your voice sounds when you call out his name. will probably tease you about that later...

taisya\tasechka. — when he's balls deep inside of you, he would absolutely not care. he won't even hear you probably, driven blindly by his instincts and desires. that's why when you want him to stop or give you a second for whatever reason, you need to show it with your body language. give him a pat, a punch (he won't mind), a squeeze. he pays much more attention to how your body moves and shudders underneath him, how your breathing patterns change. values your physical participation more than anything else. this guy is also pretty loud himself, though his noises are not very... pleasant on the ears and sometimes his voice morphs in funny ways, giving that uncanny edge to his low whines and growls.

derzena. — she will be... a bit surprised. she didn't have many lovers, and most of them were pretty quiet and/or shy in her presence (no wonder, bc she has a very... intimidating stare). at first she will think she did something wrong, or, heavens forbid, hurt you. derzena is a very careful woman, mainly because she's very aware of her sizes and strength. but once you reassure her and tell her that you're just very vocal in bed, she'll except it and will move on. she'll learn to love it very quickly, silently relishing in your gasps and loud pleas. she might lose herself for a good while between your legs, eating you out for hours and pushing her thick, smooth tongue deeper into your pussy to see if she can make you even louder.

veniamin. — oh he is so mean. likes it when you're loud just because he gets to shut you up. a hand clasped tightly over your mouth or pushing your face into the pillow, he doesn't care as long as you're keeping up the volume and writhing under him. when he's feeling gracious enough he'll let you ride him and babble all you want. until then, he'll keep calling you a desperate little thing, mocking the noises you make <З despite that, he also loves it when you talk back or insult him in return. it's the "missionary, so we can keep arguing" for him. smug fucker wants nothing more than to rile you up and then make you whine in disappointment by ruining your orgasm... for the fourth time in a row.

livy. — he hasn't had much experience with humans before, so he thinks it's perfectly normal for you to express yourself the way that you do. livy thinks it's very pretty actually, and won't stop you, because no one will hear you in the middle of the forest, where his cave resides. except for him, of course <з lets out happy chirps and clicks in return, or hisses sweetly when your little hole squeezes him so tightly. will ask how you feel very frequently, seeking your approval. might get too excited and get a bit rough, fucking you into the ground, trying to stuff you full of his cock despite you being so much smaller in comparison to him.

[almightygremlinblob]

Your Two Lovely Goblins

Sukuna x Reader x Yorozu Just gonna put this here. Next up - more Yuuji and some Uraume! That is, if I don't probables disappear again LMAO ⚠️Content Warnings⚠️ Mostly fluff, there's some suggestiveness but nothing explicit actually happens. Coffee Shop AU, Modern AU (no curses), Gender-Neutral Reader, Slight OOC Sukuna, Soft Sukuna, Yorozu is completely blind about her feelings, both accidental and intentional drinking of blood and other bodily fluids, naked cuddling with Yorozu, LOOTS of jealousy from both Sukuna and Yorozu. Both of them fighting over Reader's attention and they're also literally batshit insane. As per common sense; Minors DNI. This is fiction, don't tolerate this kinda behaviour irl. Yady yady yada.

Another day, another headache with these two.

"They agreed to go with me!" Sukuna slams his fist onto the table, and you grab your drink before it can topple over. The bags on the table, though...

"I am the only one that's allowed near you, Sukuna." The, quite frankly, beautiful woman wraps her arm harshly around you. Yorozu pulls you close to her curvy body and holds you tightly, making you frown as you nearly spill your drink. "So I'll take them home!"

It was supposed to be simple enough, and yet somehow the both of them made it more complicated than it needed to be. Both Sukuna and Yorozu wanted to walk home with you, and you agreed. Sukuna wanted you alone with him. Yorozu didn't want you near Sukuna; arguing that it was because she didn't want you near her 'husband' and seeing you as some sort of 'rival'.

The excuse was bullshit and everyone could see past it. Everyone except Yorozu, it seemed. For all the time she'd want to keep you away from her 'husband' she'd be the one taking you out, getting you your favorite drink or food, even cooking for you from time to time…though her cooking did always taste a little strange, taking you to see a movie you mentioned you were interested in or shopping with you for a piece of clothing or just…something you'd like. Always on her, of course. And whenever you both would have some time alone together she'd practically be stringing her limbs around your form, cuddling close and staying like that for hours on end like some kind of slug glued to your side.

All to keep you away from her husband, apparently.

The woman's ruse was fragile like a thin piece of glass. Or, more accurately, like tissue paper.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Over the counter, you can see them laughing at you. The handsome blonde barista with his friends, one with short pink hair and lovely gold eyes, the other with short brown hair that matched his brown eyes, and the last with longer grey hair and heterochromia. You would have flipped them off had you not been sandwiched between both Yorozu and Sukuna at the moment, both your arms taken by the woman and man that tried their best to pry the other off of you.

"Why would they stay in your place? It's full of bugs!" Aaand there he goes yelling again. "Dead and live ones!"

"No way am I going to let someone like them go home with you!"

Ah. Of course they misunderstood you completely.

"They agreed to go with me! That's final!" Yorozu manages to pry Sukuna away from you. Practically dragging you, arm not so discreetly snaked around your waist, out of the coffee shop.

"Are you deaf!? It was me they agreed to go with!" Sukuna tails you both, not far behind. He holds your hand, and Yorozy frowns. Despite his irritation and anger, Sukuna's grip on you is gentle as can be.

"Let's ditch the slut." Sukuna kisses the back of your hand. "I prepared a surprise for you back in my place."

"Guys…" They stop, and both their attention was fully on you, now. "I was actually supposed to go back to my home?"

"O-oh…" You wince as Sukuna's shoulders visibly slump in disappointment.

"Well, too bad! You're coming to mine." Yorozu continues to yank you towards her apartment, and you let out a frustrated sigh. Sukuna seems to perk up, though, when you don't let go of his hand.

~~~~~~

It doesn't take long at all until all three of you are at her apartment, greeted by her collection of bugs - both living and dead. Yorozu promptly dumps all her stuff on a nearby chair, before going to the bathroom, begrudgingly leaving both you and Sukuna alone. You sigh as he pulls you close and starts trailing kisses along your neck.

Wasn't it too early for this?

"I made you something." He puts down the bag he was holding and gets out a small box with a cupcake in it. "There was more of it back in my apartment but…I suppose this one will have to do."

"Aww, this is actually…so sweet!" You smile at the cupcake in your hands, a simple chocolate base with pink frosting in the shape of a heart. Knowing Sukuna's cooking, you eagerly unbox it and start eating. As usual, simple as it may be, it was absolutely delicious - though there was something strange about it. The cake seemed to be a little saltier than normal, and the frosting had a slight metallic aftertaste - though neither were noticeable at all, unless you really focused on it. It was just your boyfriend being as crazy as your girlfriend. You sigh, and he smiles. "Your cooking is always so delicious, Sukuna! Thank you…"

Yorozu gets out of the bathroom, drying her hair and completely naked; plump mounds and lush forest out in all her glory. Despite this being a normal occurrence, you can't help but blush and look away, every time. "Hmph! The moment I leave you alone with them, of course…"

"Would you like a bite, Yor?" You completely miss the look of utter panic that graces Sukuna's features when you offer her the gift meant solely for you. "No! That's only for them!"

"Whatever! Keep it."

"Suit yourself." With a shrug, you down the rest of the cupcake and Sukuna visibly relaxes but then frowns as Yorozu slips herself in between you and him, snaking an arm around yours and letting you feel her up indirectly. All to 'protect Sukuna from you', of course.

"Ugh." Sukuna grimaces and looks away, holding back the bile forming in his throat. "Can't you cover up? I DO NOT want to see your tits, woman."

"Well, get used to it!" She huffs and pulls you closer to her. You decide to turn on the TV for some background noise as the three of you fall into a comfortable silence. All before Yorozu decides to ruin it.

"You guys want anything to eat?" She absent-mindedly pushes back some of the hair in front of your face. "I could go for some frogs legs, or liver right about now…"

"If they're eating anything, it's going to be made by ME." Sukuna all but growls.

"Chicken feet…" You can feel her practically drooling as she ignores Sukuna, making him angrier.

"Come on, Sukuna. Let her have her fun." Upon hearing it, Sukuna frowns but a gentle kiss placed on his knuckles calms him down. And when Yorozu huffs in a mild tantrum upon seeing that, your lips on her forehead placates her. "On me this time. It's always you guys getting stuff for me, so…"

~~~~~

The night passed and Yorozu, unsurprisingly, wouldn't let you leave. So you ended up staying at her place for the night, but neither of them wanted you alone with the other. On nights like these it was always rather stuffy; squished in between both Sukuna and Yorozu and their sizeable assets as the bed struggled to accommodate all three of you. Yorozu stuck to you like she was glued to part of your body, while Sukuna held onto you like a vice. Yet still, you somehow end up dozing off.

"You know…" Sukuna shifts, and Yorozu frowns. "I don't think I've seen you blink for the past thirty minutes."

"Of course. I can't take my eyes off them, or they'll seduce you while I'm not looking. Or, no…could it be that…" She says, putting a hand on her chest in mock, still not blinking or letting her eyes leave your sleeping form. "Aww, is my dear husband worried for me?"

"No." He says, tone as flat and uncaring as he's ever sounded. Sukuna gently gets you into a more comfortable position, on top of him and conveniently away from Yorozu. "But you are being creepy with my lover. Quit it."

"Creepy!? You're one to talk. Don't think I'm clueless about that cupcake you made for them. Made with all your love, I bet." She snarls at him but her expression turns near manic. "Well, you're late to the party. I bet you don't even know what their blood tastes like!"

"You bitch!" Sukuna clenches his fist. "How dare-I was supposed to be the first to do that!"

"Ha! Of course I'd take the blood of my enemy long before you could. You should have expected that I'd also let them take my own blood-" She clears her throat. "Ahem, amongotherthings, before you could! What rival would let their hus-"

"Guys, come ooon…" You whine and shift; bringing Yorozu close and manneuvering Sukuna so he's also holding you. Now all three of you practically glued to each other. This seems to catch them off guard, as they're now perfectly still and quiet. "I can drink your whatevers tomorrow. Let's just go to sleep already…"

And thus, their little spat ends for today. You'll deal with their next one tomorrow.

For More Context: - Reader is dating both Sukuna and Yorozu. However, homegirl is so blind she can't see she's downbad for Reader. - Before Reader came along, it was originally Yorozu dating Sukuna and the both of them not exactly happy with the other, but when Reader came into the picture (as a friend) the both of them fell in love with them. Despite their jealousy, they're a lot happier now with Reader, tho. - Sukuna and Yorozu are a lot and I do mean A LOT, but Reader truly does love them regardless. - Yes, the baristas were Mahito, Yuuji, Nanami and Haibara and they were all besties. Mahito still bullies Yuuji from time to time but Nanami's there to do damage control lol.

[seeing-scarlet]

Twisted Wonderland Replaced AU (With a twist)

Warning (s): Betrayal, Implied Bullying, Implied Death, Disturbing Description (?), Slight Horror, Body Possesion, Manipulation etc

Gender Neutral Yuu/Reader

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄��𝐍𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃, had been teleported here in NRC. Everyone, I mean everyone started ignoring you, Ace and Deuce didn't talked to you anymore ever since this new student came, Everyone else is busy gawking and praising the new student, the new student was just like you: Magicless and in a different dimension. The new student was seen to be a flawless person, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 eyes, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 skin, 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 hair and etc, but everything about them was 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓. Everyone in NRC saw them as some sort of god. Someone with no mistakes, someone 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 that can do everything good.

And someone that everyone compared you with...

Almost everyone in NRC compared you, to them. Saying of how they have better grades, better appearance, better voice, better personality and a better version of you. That's what pissed you off. But of course, you didn't blamed the new student. They didn't do anything wrong... Of course they didn't, they were a nice and kind person and someone that you like just like how you like everyone else in NRC.

But did they even like you anymore after this new student came...? Perhaps not anymore...

You watched everyone loving the new student. Everyone, everyone that you helped in order for them to trust you because you don't belong in this world, Because you're Magicless, you had never gotten that type of special treatment that everyone else is giving the new student. You never received attention, you never received kind words that much, you never get endless affection and thank you's, the new student is Magicless as well... So why weren't you getting that treatment before?

Was everyone else right when they said that the new student was better than you? Because they're 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓? Is that it? Is that why your dying right now? Because your literally bleeding on the ground after an incident that happened earlier, and no one else is around to save you because they're too busy saving the new student or saving themselves.

Feeling the ground against your body, bleeding and coughing out your blood that was once inside your flesh and veins, to keep you Healthy and yet, your here coughing it out because your literally fucking injured and no one is saving you... Not even Ace, Deuce, Epel, Jack or anyone... Not even Crowley. Perhaps, this is how you meet your fate...?

“Yuu! Yuu! Where are you!?”

Multiple shouts of worry and concerned echoed through the half ruined forest, trees down and the ground slightly cracked. Ace grunted as grim was rushing through the forest while deuce and some of the guys were trying to calm him down, but the feline was worried of his human Henchmen, his best friend. Someone that appreciated him more than anyone else. “Where Could yuu be?!” Deuce worriedly frowned, next to ace who's looking slightly nervous but trying to make himself look tough and unaffected, wanting to look like he wasn't sorry for ignoring yuu. The dorm leaders walked alongside the others, the vice dorm leaders next to their dorm leaders, looking for the Magicless human. “Yuu!? Yuu!?”

No answer... Just silence...

“Yuu!? Oh where could they be!?” Kalim frowned next to a Slight worried Jamil, the white haired boy worried for the Magicless human his first friend besides Jamil that they weren't seen before the incident that happened hours ago... “Maybe shrimpy is back at ramshackle...?” Floyd recommended, yet his words made everyone else doubted. “That's impossible Floyd, yuu wasn't seen there. Grim wouldn't be here with us looking for them.” Azul reminded, adjusting his glasses carefully. “So, where was the herbivore last seen then?” Leona questioned, his deep voice sounded irrated, yet everyone else could feel the slight worry that was laced upon his tone. “Look!” Epel Pointed someone in the distance, as everyone approached the person. It was Yuu! But... There was something off...

“Henchmen! Your ok!” Grim sobbed, clinging into the teen's leg while they're back faced everyone else. Everyone expected yuu to turn around and hug grim, but instead they stayed silent. Yuu was supposed to hug him back, so why wasn't he? Then yuu turned around, smiling softly down at grim, grabbed the feline and embraced him. The cat sobbing into "Yuu's" shoulders. Everyone sighed in relief, as Malleus and some of the others had noticed something off about yuu. “Child of man? Are you alright?” Yuu softly turned to the fae prince, nodding mannerly. “Why yes, I am. Thank you.” The Magicless teen replied softly to the horned fae, everyone's eyes landed on the teen's hands. They're fingers grew longer and it was slightly ink black to gradient (skin/color)

“Trickster? Is everything alright?” Rook smiled yet nervously and concerned for the human's wellbeing, but they just smiled again. “Oh, I'm fine... Just fine.”

Everyone else felt a shiver down their spine when they glanced at the ink black color that was plastered on their hands once again. As yuu spoke again with a relaxed smile. “I had... A change of heart...”

Author's note: This is part 1, I don't know if I would do part 2 tho. I'm just deciding on which type of parasite that would use Yuu's body as it's own vessel, I'm looking for ideas and it was originally kenjaku but I also like Sukuna, but anyways. Thanks for reading this if you find it! Thanks for reading!

[jabberwockprince]

SPINA VENATORES A small organization of mercenaries working for Manus Vindictae, tasked with erasing people from history as a way to call upon the "Storm". Their targets' names, families, influence and connections to this world will be dragged into oblivion.

Individual profiles and some more info/ramblings under the cut <3

The whole point of Spina Venatores is to be a parallel to Vertin's own independent group of Arcanists - the same way St. Pavlov's Foundation has her, Manus Vindictae has Venison and Spina. They're the mouth and teeth of Manus.

But whereas Vertin aims to create a safe, neutral space for Arcanists to thrive without human influence despite being tied to the Foundation, Venison is aiming to create a paradise for those they care about and no one else due to the heavy influence Arcana and Manus have on them.

Spinas Venatores is, at its core, a cult that was allowed to grow thanks to Venison's codependent and obsessive mindset - with them as the leader, all the troublesome and rebellious members of Manus Vindictae (that are much too powerful to get rid of or who are still clinging on to their former lives) will simply be assimilated into Spina or pressured to comply with Manus Vindictae as a whole. The third secret option is dying <3.

They also serve as a narrative device to remind everyone of the fact that, no matter how hard one may try, there's no way EVERYONE can be saved from the "Storm" - all five main members are related in some way or another to Arcanists that Vertin has met, they're people that weren't lucky enough to be taken in, who found themselves in the right time and place for Manus Vindictae to take advantage of their vulnerable state.

R1999 also portrays a LOT of oppression from various minorities that overlap with each other in very interesting ways, so I also wanted them to tackle similar things that mean so much to me - they're problematic queers is what I'm trying to say lmfao

The thing they share is that all of them are delusional to a degree, and that they're constantly haunted and defined by their relationships to others. The loss and discovery of the self through another, Ship of Theseus, cannibalism, body horror, being transgender as a really visceral and intimate experience, an obsession for love in all of its forms etc etc.

I don't have the FULL scope of their backstories, but I do know who they're tied to!

Venison was Pavia's coworker in a constant, obsessive loop of wanting to kill and save each other. Mutton was part of Schneider's mafia and romantically involved with one of her oldest sisters. Chevon was a regular visitor in Necrologist's museum and a friend of hers, she later went on to exhibit his many, many tombstones. Poultry is the "Lilian" mentioned in Darley Clatter's Stories. And Veal is a mystery even to me </3

Their uniforms are meant to look outrageous and outlandish, entirely out of place with the setting and their respective eras/times, inspired by fantasy - just BARELY reminiscent of Manus Vindictae by virtue of using a similar palette, as a way to drive that feeling of not belonging and delusion even harder.

Whereas everyone else is dealing with very real issues, all members of Spina Venatores live pretty much in their own heads (similar to Forget Me Not and how Manus Vindictae causes their recruits to become... YEAH.....THOSE MONSTERS....)

Venison gets the BIG COAT and the biggest silhouette because they're responsible for pretty much 80% of what happens within Spina Venatores! Veal gets the more simple design to allude to their whole unassuming, shapeshifter/Doppelganger thing.

They all have ribcage/bone motifs in one way or another, most of their jewels are meant to look like rosaries, they wear the Manus Vindictae silver cross and Arcana's blue color more often than regular members of Manus. Also! Hands!! Love the fuckin hands!! DID YOU GUYS SEE DIGGERS' MANUS VINDICTAE SKIN???? YEAH.

The naming convention being. types of different meats. is entirely because of Venison, you can ALSO blame that entirely on them <3

[yourlilkaiju]

"Don't let the redemptioners see this." 🥺.....🙄 Please...

I could care less.

I could care less about whether or not someone hates Sephiroth or feels that he is better off being a compelling villain. I don't think that he should stay a villain. I think the villain should be Jenova. Should Sephiroth be considered for a normal life if not maybe somewhere along the lines of maybe an anti-hero? Perhaps. Maybe going up against injustices that affect people, which will eventually affect him. (A war veteran knows this shit.) And this will thus impact the normal life he'd so been hoping for. I honestly feel that there should somehow be a development in treatments as to how to separate Jenova cells from the body safely and effectively, which would thus lead to a gradual change in Sephiroth's appearance.

The key term here is gradual. As in expect at least a couple of decades before he is completely human again, if someone decides to break him out of the Mako crystal.

There are many things I feel on this topic. And frankly I could go on about it. But the issue remains that if I do, I would get nowhere in regards to the original intention of this post.

The fact that Sephiroth fans who believe in his redemption, are called redemptioners is kind of a step. Namely because this comes from a place of ignorance. For one, Sephiroth was a victim of circumstance. Two, the files in the underground library were not only kept in the Shinra mansion. But they were in Nibelheim, not too far off from a reactor that contained human experiments that disobeyed the laws of ethics and Jenova. All of this was run by Research and Development. Which was run by Hojo himself. The department that assigned the mission for Nibelheim was research and development. It was only to observe and report. Read that again.

So to be clear, the mission set for Nibelheim which was not intended for the neutralization and erasure of a town, but the observation and report of a Shinra reactor should have been completely harmless. And this observe and report mission, was coming from Hojo himself. Hojo knew that Jenova was in the reactor. The unlocked doors were too convenient. The access to the library and the classified files were too well placed. And what's more is that only one first class soldier was sent along with him. There weren't any others to train or attempt to bring into the fray. Sephiroth was intended to be the perfect soldier. He was frequently experimented on trained without kindness or reprieve. The only kindness he observed as far as we know was when he was fourteen, when he entered SOLDIER. Beyond that, everything he grew into could not be helped. He tried to be human. He tried to make the best of himself. In the end, the pressure became too much and the Jenova cells took to his brain like a parasite and soon, Jenova was in his head. Thinking for him, breathing for him- controlling his every waking thought and telling him that she's his mother. Even though his mother died shortly after he was born.

Many people are fans of Sephiroth because he is easy to relate to. Many want to see him live a normal life after so many years of adversity and sadness. Because he deserves to walk away from the misery. And usually, folks who don't like Sephiroth fans just like to grind their teeth at anything that doesn't worship the good guys that commit the same genocide that the good guys do for the sake of bringing down Shinra. (If they're reading this, sorry. You brought this truth upon yourselves. Now wallow in it.)

I understand that we all may have our stances and opinions about the one winged baddie. I get that he is one wicked babe. He's not for everyone and sometimes, for a lot of people, they just can't handle that much leather and sass. I get it. Not everyone is kinky or genuinely flirty with the black wingy feather boi. (Yes, I know there are some versions of him that are aro/ace. You can still be flirty with aro/ace so long as it isn't physical and doesn't actually go anywhere....also it must be enthusiastically reciprocated and CONSENSUAL. SSC, darlings.)

But I digress.

As a dominatrix towards people I don't know who ask for my...impactful consultations and integrative queries, Sephiroth is by far an inspirational being who very much represents abuse victims everywhere. And I don't think anti-Sephies understand that. Rather I don't know if they have the emotional maturity that's necessary to do so. Sephiroth has had his boundaries breached on numerous occasions and had been put into a situation where entropy was his life's motto. And when he was finally ready to leave Shinra, he did so. Just....not in the way he hoped.

Overall, it's okay for one to dislike a character. But don't make fun of others for wanting the devs to create a redemption arc for said character. With numerous pathways, please? We don't make fun of you for liking genocidal eco terrorists. No matter how you look at it, that's exactly what they did.

Hypocrites.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Since the Neighborhood are adventurers, I'd like to imagine they travel by sea a fair amount of times too! A nice boat trip while occasionally breaking out into a sea shanty, eh? (And for gits and shiggles, to keep up with the whole.. Eddie in water joke, I imagine the poor guy is clumsy enough to go overboard. He may not be unconscious during it, but it wouldn't make it any less funny with the group desperately trying to pull him back aboard-)

OH OH OH allow to ramble at length about this!!! what an idea!!! i fucking love boats & the ocean & being on the water so this ask is checking all my boxes rn

first i imagine that the length of their trips varies wildly, along with the quality due to the glorious variation in weather & bodies of water. and i'm choosing to believe this universe uses tall ships instead of like... fantasy steam ships. because i fucking love tall ships. the sails, the rigging, the elegance... an absolute bitch to maintain and maneuver <3

i imagine that depending on the ship, captain, and size of the crew, the Neighborhood may be required to help out to earn their keep. especially since they're a crew of nine eight, and some ships are woefully understaffed!

I'd imagine that Poppy sometimes takes the cook's job if the crew is currently lacking one (or if the cook wants a fucking break, jeebus it's a demanding job. there's a reason ship cooks in moves/tv are always stern & serious). Barnaby can probably charm his way into doing nothing but provide music/entertainment (much to Sally's aggravation). everyone else are plain deckhands

of course i imagine that that doesn't always happen! plenty of ships are probably content to just take their coin and tranport them. some of them (Eddie, Poppy) may still wheedle their way into helping out though. they strike me as characters that can't Not help

who i imagine loves their little water journeys: Barnaby, Wally, Sally, Wormie

neutral: Frank, Julie

hates it: Poppy, Howdy, Eddie

allow me to provide reasoning!!

Barnaby's impeccable balance probably means that he's stable as a rock even in choppy waters, and i'm reasoning that he doesn't get seasick either. his vestibular system is as solid as his sea legs! he probably finds the whole experience relaxing as anything. He gets to just recline on the bowsprit's base or wherever he isn't in the way & smoke/play his accordion/nap.

Wally just has such a love of life and new things, so why wouldn't he love being on the water? it's different! it's new every time! there are ample things to learn about and do! Home probably keeps his systems stable so that he doesn't have to deal with seasickness. though it probably takes him a little bit to find his sea legs... catch him stumbling around like a lil newborn lamb. sometimes he is facedown on the deck <3 i imagine he'd enjoy going aloft!

Sally would probably love the inherent romanticism and adventure of it all. Who knows what dangers and glory they may face! I bet she writes up a storm during this time - plenty of story material! food for the imagination! what does Anne say... Scope for the imagination, i believe! i bet she also loves having a captive audience. Literally. they're stuck on this ship with her <3

so many lines for Wormie to climb... so many little places to crawl into... new people to trick into giving her treats... down time where the Neighborhood is relaxing in one place. abundant time for affection!

Frank probably doesn't have strong feelings about it. It's a boring ship with no bugs or things to do. Except when he manages to rope crew members into having a lil impromptu fight club. Or when the Neighborhood is put to work - i wonder if he'd find the maintenance soothing or pleasant... or if he'd relish in the hard work of pulling lines

Julie is likely in a similar boat (ha) as Frank. once the initial "wow! whoah!" wears off, it can get boring! and games are limited - there's only so much you can do on a ship (depending on the size of the ship of course), and there might be strict rules to keep passengers out of the crew's way and to lower risk. She probably entertains herself by "bothering" her friends and the crew & cloudgazing.

Poppy... do i need to explain? wooden ship on the ocean, which i understand can be terrifying. who knows what lurks below the waters? if the weather will change on a dime? if one of the flammable things on board catches fire? if the ship hits something? etc. I imagine it's impossible to get her to go above decks. They have to literally push her statue-frozen body onto the ship when they first board

Howdy! honestly i just think it'd be really fucking funny if he gets Violently seasick! like, curled into a ball in his bunk & involuntarily making agonized noises. he sounds like a ghost w/ all the pained moaning. his sea legs suck unless he stances all four at the right distance to anchor himself in place. he's a weak, sickly, fragile little thing, take mercy on him... he doesn't even have the strength left to swindle or sell...

Eddie. now we get to the point of anon's ask - his sea legs would be nonexistent. he's staggering and stumbling all over the place. the ship just barely tilts and he's smacking into a mast or careening across the deck. and of course, hitting the guardrails at precisely the right speed/angle to allow him to tumble overboard. i bet this happens enough that every time the Neighborhood is so much as on a dock, there is at least one person either holding his arm or acting as a barrier between him and the water. as soon as they get on any ship, he's immediately sent below decks. any attempt he makes to come up is instantly blocked.

there's a lot of both comedic and angst potential there. small ship, calm waters? comedic. some neighbors are playing cards, there's on off-screen splash & Frank immediately sighs and gets up all "god damn it, Eddie-". lmao im imagining him floating there and rapid-fire blabbering in fear 'cause there's a shark (it's not a shark. it's a dolphin. everyone on board is so unimpressed.) he's sobbing in fear as they pull him in <3

but angst? imagine there's a storm. imagine it's an all-hands-on-deck situation, every available hand is needed, and Eddie is strong as fuck - he'd be a monster at pulling lines. probably wouldn't even need to sweat them. but a violently rocking ship, slick decks, maybe even waves splashing over the deck... oof i can so easily imagine Eddie slipping & sliding right over the side. maybe while the others watch. maybe they try to grab him, but they're too late. and in such a horrible storm, there's not much they can do - it's dark, the water is incredibly turbulent, the ship can't turn around easily, there's torrential rain. a high stress situation! i'm imagining Frank grabbing a lifebuoy, firmly fastening it to a pin, and then throwing himself overboard after Eddie. something to think about! (i'm imagining that after the storm clears up enough, everyone rushes to the side to check. Eddie & Frank are trailing after the boat, lashed to the buoy and exhausted. maybe a little banged up, but overall fine!)

and then yeah.... oh the shanties Barnaby could lead... the whole ship sings! and then them all in their bunks (or in their hammocks!) in the [insert term for living quarters here, it can vary] when its sleepytime. y'all would not believe the shenanigans that can occur in the fo'c'sle (or the main hold, basically wherever the ship's sleeping quarters are), especially before actual sleep occurs. peak silly time.

there's a lot of potential here, thank you anon!

like now i'm thinking - what about sea monsters? or jobs that Require them to go on the water, as in the job takes place on a ship? ocean battles! ocean searches!

[pillarsalt]

Seconding that last ask about pretending that gendies' straight relationships are gay ughhh one of my best friends is non binary and getting more aggressive about it lately (meaning that i have to bend over backwards every two seconds to use the correct pronouns, since our language literally doesnt have a neutral one) and i have to hear her rants about how MUCH she hates her disgusting female body and how shes different from a woman bc she doesnt align with feminity and that all her boyfriends have been actually gay for dating her AND pretend 1) that i dont take all that harmful discourse regarding being a woman at heart and 2) that i dont hurt from seeing her like this because i really love her. Its. Exhausting. SORRY this got long i just dk what to do 😭

oh my goddd the whole thing with nonbinary women and the fixation on the men they sleep with being gay because gender... it's crazy, the desire to control the sexual orientations of others seems like a pattern in the trans community, although obviously some are worse than others. I mean it matches the fixation on controlling how others perceive them in their private minds, ie. "we can tell when you're just using our pronouns to be polite and you don't actually SEE us as our stated gender" like anyone's private thoughts are your business? Controlling what we can say out loud isn't enough?

(Kind of a tangent: but a while ago I remember jeffrey marsh making a video with his male partner ((idr if they're married)), talking about how when jeffrey's identity changed from man to nonbinary, the partner's had as well, because he wasn't identifying as gay anymore. He had always perceived himself to be gay, it was a big part of his identity through his life, but he loves Jeffrey, and Jeffrey is no longer a man, and gay men love men, therefore he can't be gay. The guy looked so dejected and jeffrey kept having to persuade him to talk. Does anyone else remember this? I wonder if I can find the video. ((Obviously the straight girls with their gay boyfriends are a very different scenario.)) )

Anyway, I feel your pain, the thing with the pronouns I can't even imagine. The pure narcissism of complicating the simple act of speaking for everyone around you, making sure everyone expends a little extra brain power when talking to or about you... simply because you say so! Boggling.

Unfortunately, as I said on the last ask, not much you can do. It is very very hard to convince someone so entrenched in it to hear you out, and obviously you don't want to lose her, there's no great solution. The best thing you can do is to be there for her if and when she comes around to reality. It might be good if you guys could do some kind of activities together that have nothing to do with gender shit, ideally outdoors. The less time spent scrolling and ruminating, the better. But most importantly, take care of yourself, and don't take any shit either. You seem like a good friend, I hope things work out eventually.

[shmowder]

Hello Mr Shmowder

Could I request some hcs for Daniil if the reader is afab and taking T shots? If Daniil would help them getting the testosterone and maybe even administering it himself

I’m not sure if that would be possible in the time era of pathologic but also if the reader had bottom growth how would he react to it

Also I really love the way you write everyone especially Daniil cause I just can’t help loving the prickly prick so I’m really happy there’s you making xreader content for us!

Thank you! you're so kind <33 I love writing for you guys, everyone has been surprisingly supportive and such a delight when it came to my x reader content. I was afraid of the backlash when I started posing patho x reader but I'm so happy I did!

-

Both trans Daniil and cis Daniil would be fully supportive of a trans reader - If you meant trans reader. But if it's simply an afab reader taking T shots, then that works too!

Thanatology was still a new science at the time, it was anyone's guess what goes on in that field.

Combating death is a rather broad term for any medical research facility, which is why no one questions Daniil when he keeps requesting monthly orders of hormones, you're going to tell the most infamous doctor in Thanatica "No"?

Good luck if he doesn't chew your head off with his insults first.

While he tends to be a bit prudish, Daniil has shown complete neutrality when it comes to queer people. He doesn't blink twice at Yulia confessing her infatuation of Eva to him. He has known Andrey before in college, who is an open bisexual.

He'd fully support his partner wanting to transition or take hormones.

In the worst case scenario, where he doesn't understand why you want this, it doesn't take much explanation for him to get where you're coming from. He's intellectual first and foremost. Your argument is completely sensible and fair to him.

If anything you'd open cis Daniil's eyes to read more about gender as a construct and research into the subject, while trans Daniil would fully relate and understand you without you having to say much.

People take for granted, looking the way they feel inside. While others have to continuously put in effort in order to reach a point where they're comfortable and happy with their bodies.

His only requirement is that you let him be the one to register the hormone shots to you, especially if you have no experience in the medical field.

He has a rather light hand, don't worry.

Daniil would keep a journal to observe your progress, note down the details in a file he keeps about you.

Act as your personal doctor and entrusted confidant; it's too risky to go to any other doctor about this during this conservative time period.

Your bodily changes, the hair growth, your vocal cords adjusting and thickening. The bottom growth is especially interesting to him, he's genuinely curious and finds the human body ability to adjust and change so beautiful.

This is honestly new grounds for him, even if he is trans, no two experiences are the same and your body could react in ways different than his.

Still, Daniil would try his best to answer your questions and reassure you about any concerns you may have. His medical degree isn't just for show. You'll be safe, he promises.

Your mood shifts are expected, and he isn't surprised when they arrive, alongside your drastic change in libido. Acne and everything that follows after regularly taking testosterone is completely normal. Your body is changing, and the hormone balance is shifting.

Daniil would be there by your side, both as a loving partner and a trusted medical expert.

While you might be a little shy or embarrassed about discussing these topics so openly, Daniil has had much more embarrassing conversations with other patients in his career.

He's jaded to the average person coyness, if anything he'll be the one insisting to check on your progress each week. Measuring your bottom growth, noting any other changes as he examines you over.

Daniil takes notice of how happier you seem these days, how you stare at yourself in the mirror more, how every milestone seems to send you over the moon.

He'd be lying if he said seeing you this happy and confident in your own image didn't make you instantly more attractive to him. The self-assured expression on your face as you look yourself over in the mirror after a shower, clearly enjoying what you see.

The first time he saw you wearing his clothes and filling them out nicely in all the right places, broad shoulders, and a masculine build.

Feeling his heart swell in his chest when you start wearing his cologne while going outside, watching you reestablish yourself and sense of style. Witnessing you coming nicely into your own person after so many years together.

The trips he took you on to act as your fashion advisor when it came to establishing a new wardrobe. Bringing you to his favourite tailor to get measured for a fitted suit.

Like a proud peacock, Daniil flourishes under the attention when you ask him for fashion advice. Puffing his chest and fluffing his feathers as you go through the selection of clothes he picked out from the men's section. How nicely they drape over your body.

And if your taste didn't happen to fall under the masculine umbrella? Daniil has no qualms about whichever style you decide on.

Wear it with pride. That's his advice. Walk with confidence no matter what article of clothing you end up deciding on.

Daniil's been there with you through thick and thin. This experience just reaffirms the strong bond between you two. No matter what happens, what petty arguments or mood clashing you two go through, at the end of the day, you will always find solace and acceptance in one another.

Because he'll come back into the room on his own accord when it's time to administrate the T shots for you, even as he's still giving you the silent treating for calling his new snake-skin shoes ugly.

He's careful, remaining diligent no matter how many times he has done this before. Wiping the area with a disinfecting cotton pad, measuring the content in the needle, and pushing it slightly to get all the air pockets out.

He wasn't lying when he said he has light hands, you barely feel anything but the small prick of the needle tip before it's over.

Feeling his warm body standing so close to your own, you stare at his unbuttoned vest as a way to distract yourself from the sight of the needle going into your skin.

"It's done," Daniil's voice held a soft edge to it, cupping one side of your face with his hand, moving his touch downstairs as he grips your chin, coaxing your head up to meet his eyes.

"You did well."

You realise one thing in that moment. Daniil needed to be the one to personally administrate the hormones to you, not just out of precaution and safety, but for his own comfort of mind.

The complete trust you have in him to keep showing up, to keep putting the effort and never complain or rush it. The deliberate care, the genuine need to be of service to you, to share your burden of responsibility too and not merely be supportive from the sidelines.

Daniil needs to act, he feels the need to be involved in some way to prove how useful he can be. To lessen the weight on your shoulders, to spare you from the mundane chores.

That nothing will push him away or steer him off this path he is determined to walk with you every single step.

Even as the mood shifts and emotional irregulations reach their peak. He might comprehend the scientific explanation behind it but that doesn't change the fact he is still mere human, the two of you are. And his hurt can still be hurt, his ego can still be bruised.

But his resolve will never shatter. That is the one thing he is sure of.

[quinloki]

Mini vent feel free to ignore

NGL I've always been proud of my height(178cm/5'10) but damn if trying to read x reader fics isn't difficult... I'm never going to be small or petite and I dunno it's hard. Glad 1P gives me a taste of that with how ridiculously sized some of the guys are

No, I can appreciate those feels.

It's one of those things where I do try to make my readers as neutral as possible, but also like - I have been a full 5'00" since I was 12.

That's 30 years at this height.

There is probably a *lot* of stuff I write that unconsciously marks the reader as Short-SHORT without meaning to, because it's a default perspective for me. Now, granted, when I'm writing Kid, or Crocodile, or Doffy, these are BIG guys. Everyone is going to feel small, an Kid's not just big in a height sense, he's a BIG GUY.

I also avoid describing body types anymore than I have to, but I don't think I could write a specifically fat reader. I mean, *I* am fat, I am most certainly 100% Not Thin, or slender, or athletic in any capacity. But I mean, I'm also flexible, and I might have way more stomach than I'd like, but I can still lift the back end of an empty Prius.

To which, I just mean, fat doesn't equate to someone being fit or not, so even when I write a feisty reader, I don't *mean* to imply they're fit. Or not. I mean to try and leave it open to the reader themselves.

The hardest part of X Readers isn't just trying to make them as close to one-size-fits-all as you can, but also in understanding we all make assumptions on both sides of the equation. Writer and Reader both.

That said, representation is awesome, so I LOVE x reader stories that do get into some description. Black Readers, Fat Readers, [Insert Whatever here] Readers, Readers that are almost practically OCs.

In the end, the author should enjoy writing it, and the reader should enjoy reading it, and that requires a lot of work on both sides. Cause even self-indulgent writing is still a lot of work, and shifting through mountains of fic is also a good bit of work.

But, I do understand your frustration. I've heard a few people struggle with it... You know, I realize this is on anon, but if there's a story I've written that you've really enjoyed, if there's ANYTHING you want to take time to point out to me and say "this really implies smallness because in my experience x,y,z." I can't promise anything, but it wouldn't hurt either.

It'd be good education for me - learning about other people's experiences will always help me be a better writer. I've certainly experienced a lot personally, but I'll still only ever have my own perspective. I can't promise I'll write a specifically-tall-reader story, but it might help me pull my writing into more truly neutral territory so I'm not subconsciously just writing all I know.

[cannibal-nightmares]

did you know may is mental health awareness month?

text under the read more: an unreality ramble about my dog. he is a good boy.

have a peaceful song -

where do I even begin

I guess I'll start with that I don't like talking about my delusions. there's some I want to talk about but can't because they're either scary and/or too confusing in that theyre too real. or im "not allowed" to. but this one exists in a neutral space, so a neutral story this will be

I only got him when he was 1½ years old and he was kenneled at the shelter w another dog identical to him, but if he wasn't someone's service/emotional support animal, then he must have been in a past life. or he has a human consciousness. or something. my friends joke about the latter often but I'll get there in a second. the way he responds to my emotions and actions is uncanny. he is a rather quiet dog, but if he notices me freeze up and go quiet to an uncharacteristic degree, he will very blatantly try to get my attention. if I lie on the floor from anxiety, he will lie on my legs; if I lie on the floor in being depressed, he will get in my face. he's intervened self harm (namely hitting, but, if he's alert, he's interrupted trichotillomania episodes). The thing is, idk where he gets it from. I didn't train him to do any of these things

my friends joke that's he's "just a dude." "a man in a dog's body" etc. it *is* a funny joke. he likes people more than other dogs; his eye contact is oddly human-like (ask my friends). it *is* a funny joke, and the following isn't directly related, but I do have great fears about him. some of which the noise isn't going to let me say outloud here but. what I can: sometimes I fear it's true--an organic thought outside of what my friends have said, the two ideas don't feel the same--or perhaps that he was someone in a past life. or is a positive-neutral force sent to look after me. idk. it's hard to explain why while it would be/is theoretically positive, how it is still unnerving. and how it feels like something will change in one direction or another when I post this. I digress. He's just a guy. I have bigger fears on it, but that's the simple of it.

A coworker asked and suggested why I don't get a service dog. at first, I considered the question as courteous, but then realized... I struggle to walk my current dog, if I am honest. I do it, I take him out every day, etc, but as much as I got a dog to help me w paranoia, it has not curbed it. in ways, in ways, it has made it worse. countless of times I have tried to walk him around the block, made it halfway, and turned around due to feeling like a force was watching me, like something was waiting around the corner, like there were traps ahead, and many other more specific and pertinent things I am not allowed to say here (plus it'd be safer if I didnt). taking him outside is like flipping on a geiger counter to gauge the state of the day. I feel really bad for him in this. I can't imagine trying to get a proper service animal in these regards.

My friends like to joke that he's some sort of bending entity in that he's just shaped funny. I mean, he is. His legs are goofy-long, his nose is angled funny off of his snout, his ears are huge. Etc. But--again, separate from what they've said--sometimes I look at him and he doesn't feel real. It's difficult to explain. I look at him and it's like I'm missing something. Like how you can't reach into a tv and grab what's on the screen. idk.

The reason I'm saying all of this is because... As much as I am sometimes scared he isn't real to some degree, I consider that, even if he isn't, I think he's worth "wasting time" on. I love him, he's a good little guy, and so far, at least, everyone is pretending along. Sometimes I pick him up and feel like a question mark is above my head hahaha. Like I'm missing something. But he's worth my time. He's worth my time in the same way daydreaming can be fun. I don't know how to fckng word this. He is good. Real or not, he is good. I can't imagine trying to "prove" his "realness," and I also don't know how. I don't mind devoting time to him, real or not, because he is good. agh. I hope this makes sense. I've been sitting on these thoughts for at least three years now.

[nyxivy]

Dude your boorman fic fed my ❤ I loved it soooooooo much. If you ever do another one you should definitely do one in the Nockmaar castle. If not a graydon one where he's possessed and talking to Y/N like he did with elora which I think was episode 4. They're just sooooo fine.

thank you so much!! <3 There are defo more boorman fics brewing but i just loved the graydon idea so much i just had to!! as always its a gender neutral reader, the reader's a bit angry in this one but i don't think they actually dislike anyone they're just stressed. hope you enjoy!! <3 <3

It was hell to see Graydon like this, for almost as long as you had been a knight, you had been his personal protector. You were best friends and companions in almost everything you did, even on your days off. You had been there the day he-  the day his brother died. You’d seen the thing that had taken control of his mind and body and you had vowed to yourself that you’d never let anything like that in again.

Yet here you were, Graydon chained by his wrists, kneeling on the cold, damp floor of Nockmaar castle of all places. You hadn’t left his side since the injury, your defences heightened to the point it took several minutes of debate to even let Boorman help you carry Graydon inside, you would have slung him over your shoulder and done it completely yourself. Now you knelt beside him, a dirty rag in your hand to periodically wipe sweat from his forehead or vomit from his chin. Your heart clenched every time he wretched and you think you must look as heartbroken as you feel because the others keep looking at you almost as worriedly as they looked at Graydon.

“What happened to Ballentine and Merrick is gonna happen to me,” Graydon says quietly into the silence of the cavernous room. It feels like he’s voicing a thought that everyone’s having so you screw your eyes shut and shake your head almost imperceptibly. You knew this was going to happen, Graydon was far too smart and far too righteous for his own good and you swear if he suggests any one of you kill him you were going to scream.

“And you guys are gonna have to stop me before I. . .”

A well timed thunderclap echoes through the room as your grip tightens on his tunic where your hand is laid on his shoulder to keep him steady. You're unable to muster up anything in response so you just swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in your throat.

In the background you can hear Elora questioning Willow but all you can hear is the rushing of blood in your ears, you only pay attention when Graydon speaks again and you can’t help but smile, of course he can still recite the epic tale of Bavmorda’s defeat whilst in his condition. He was obsessed with stuff like this. It was one of the things you lov-  admired about him. At the end of his speech he retched again.

Throughout the evening you attempted to feed him tiny morsels of food, you hadn’t said a word to the others, the only sounds you made were to murmur things to Graydon calmingly and the only time you moved was to fetch him water, more food or a clean rag. Right now you sat cross-legged with his head resting on your thigh, you stroked his head lovingly and hummed softly so that only you and Graydon could hear it, although you wouldn’t have really cared if the others did hear.

“How long does he have?” 

The sound of Jade’s voice catches your attention although you don’t look up

“Until it takes hold?”

Eventuallly, Willow answers her 

“Not long. Some time in the small hours of the morning he’ll lose control”

“I mean we all know what has to be done.” Kit says gravely

This does make you look up and you hurl a venomous look at her

“You little sh-” you begin, your voice croaky from the hours spent in silence but still seething with rage.

“Kit’s right” Graydon says quietly, laying a gentle hand on your leg, halting you before you can start to throw insults around.

“I’ve had some experience with this before and I know I’m not strong enough to stop it. . . I don’t want to hurt you guys. . .But I will”

His voice is so forlorn that it only hardens your resolve.

“You are not dying tonight,” Your voice is steely but your eyes are soft as you put a hand on the back of his neck and press your forehead to his. It was perhaps too intimate a gesture for the company but you had left your manners behind long ago.

Elora stands from where she was seated besides the two of you

“If Her Highness is in such a hurry to see it done, she ought to do it herself.”

You were glad to have at least one ally in this

“Oh, you don’t think I will?”

“Uh, I don’t” Boorman pipes up from his place beside the fire, his mouth still full. “Killin’ someone who isn’t trying to kill you back, it's not an easy thing to do”

You stand to take a step towards them, besides Elora, your hand going to your sword at your belt threateningly.

“There’ll definitely be someone trying to kill her back”

Elora pleads that there must be something Willow could do and you can’t help but agree, he was supposed to be the greatest sorcerer in the world. If Graydon died tonight and his personal fucking hero; the allmighty sorcerer Willow couldn’t save him you might just kill everyone in this room and then yourself.

When Willow agrees to at least attempt to help Graydon, you follow him out of the room and into what looks like a large storage cupboard, although you recognise very few of the ingredients in the jars on the shelves. You hurry to help everyone collect the ingredients and tools Willow listed off, nervous about leaving Graydon for too long.

“We can’t allow Graydon’s infection to pass to any of us, if it does we won't get out of here alive” Willow says as everyone gathers at a table ready to split up to their own tasks. You’re biting your nails, restless about getting back to Graydon.

“How infectious are you talking, like if he coughs on us? Or if I touch him and then I, you know, touch my face or. . .”

“I’ve been touching him all night, you couldn’t have said something before?” You demand. You can tell Boorman’s about to make a comment without even having to look at him “Not like that” You growl.

“The vermiscus goo.” Willow clarifies “Don’t sniff it, don’t wipe it, don’t eat it”

“Why would we eat it?” Elora ponders but you’re already done with this conversation and about halfway to the door when Willow seems to remember something else.

“Wait! There’s one thing even more important than that. No matter what, stay out of the High Tower. It’s maybe, probably a portal to the Netherworld”

“Portal to the Netherworld,” You mutter “Of course it is”

There’s another thunderclap and you leave the room before anyone else says another word.

Once you’ve returned to Graydon you deposit your armfuls of ingredients on a small table and when Willow arrives not long after you , you help Graydon into a reclined position on another kind of table. 

“Hey, now this is looking like a real exorcism” You joke, trying to lighten the mood. 

Graydon chuckles but it quickly turns into a cough. When Kit returns with the rest of the ingredients, you busy yourself with mashing together something the way Willow instructed, if you listen to her for more than five seconds right now you’re not sure if you could stop yourself from doing something stupid and what Graydon really doesn’t need right now is a fight. You had always been wary of Kit. She didn’t want to get married, you get that, but the way she treated Graydon had been grating on you from the moment you met her. Graydon had tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but your patience was wearing thin. It’s not even like her status as Graydon’s fiance meant she was trying to take him away from you. Not that you owned him, obviously, but you couldn’t help the bubbling jealousy beneath the surface that she was the one who got to marry him. And now she was basically advocating for his death, without even trying to save him. It was a double edged sword, you hated that she didn’t like Graydon but if she was any kinder to him your jealousy would probably be unbearable.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Willow puts a hand on your shoulder and you realise that the ingredients are far past mashed together and the mortar and pestle in your hands are gripped so tightly that they threaten to shatter. Willow gives you a tight lipped sympathetic smile and takes the bowl from you gently.

When Willow pulls out a large pair of shears you jump to your feet, ready to defend Graydon once again but Willow just uses them to cut open his shirt. 

You’d seen his scars a few times before, the first time when you had been showing him some of your scars and he was adamant he had you beat and you wouldn’t let it go until he showed you, the second time you had burst into his room while he was changing, much to the embarrassment of you both and the third time on one glorious summer evening when the two of you had been walking by a lake and you had convinced him to come swimming with you. He was usually very wary of anyone else seeing his scars but you had convinced him it was just the two of you. The memories flashed before your eyes as you put a comforting hand on his shoulder while he explained them to Willow and Elora. You wanted to tell them to mind their own fucking business but you were trying to keep a hold of your temper for Graydons sake and pissing off the only two people who might be able to save him was not smart.

Willow retreats to grab a bucket from his workstation and returns, gesturing for you to move out of the way. Reluctantly and with one final squeeze to his shoulder you step back to stand besides Elora. 

Graydon screams as the liquid from the bucket connects with his flesh. You screw your eyes shut, the sizzling sound of his flesh making you want to vomit or curl up into a ball or both. Elora’s hand finds yours and she squeezes you tightly. You squeeze her hand back and the two of you stand there for what feels like an eternity.

You feel utterly fucking useless, hours go by and all you can do is stand and watch. You’re not a sorcerer, you don’t know how to do spells or make potions. Hell, you’re not even that good at cooking. You knew how to fight, this sorcery stuff was Graydon's specialty, if only you could just punch this fucking Lich out of him. The sound of Willow and Elora chanting was driving you insane, the same gibberish over and over again and nothing seemed to be happening. Even in his state Graydon was able to correct Elora’s pronunciation of the spell. It made you smile despite the circumstances

Eventually Kit returned with the final ingredients. Graydon seemed to have settled down into a restless sleep while Elora and Willow finished the salve. You hovered nervously at Graydon’s side, biting your nails as you watch the two sorcerers work. Willow collects a blob of the salve on the tip of a knife that Boorman had retrieved earlier and presses it to the wound at Graydon’s shoulder. You tense up ready for the screaming to start again but it doesn’t seem to bother him. You don't know if that's a good sign or a bad sign.

Suddenly he sits bolt upright, his hands coming to fists in Willows tunic 

“Get me some water, peck”

It was Graydon's voice but it didn’t sound like him at all.

“Or you die. Understand? Water”

Elora hurries to fetch him water and you take a step forward, your hand outstretched tentatively, unsure if you should touch him or not.

“Graydon?” You ask softly, his eyes snap to you before his head flies back and the sound of Airk’s voice emanates from his throat.

“It’s not Airk, it’s the Lich, trying to break our concentration” Willow warns. 

Unable to cope, Kit runs from the room and Elora and Willow continue their chanting. When Graydon's voice switches to Mims, addressing Willow now he stuffs a rag in his mouth and your resolve breaks. You don’t care if you’re risking infecting yourself, you sink to your knees at Graydon’s side, an arm reach over his chest to hold him, your other hand around his chained bicep. You press your forehead to his side and the sound of Elora and Willow chanting and then breaking into argument is far in the distance. You focus on the fact you can still hear him breathing and you murmur quietly to him, telling him it’s gonna be alright. And that Willow and Elora are going to save him. Eventually you feel a hand on your shoulder, it’s Willow, holding some sort of instrument that looks more like a weapon than anything that would be used to heal someone. He has a grave look on his face

“You need to leave. You’re not going to want to see this.”

Silently you stand, and give Graydon one last look before leaving the room. You hadn’t noticed that Elora had left but there was no sight of her as you’re walking down the corridor. Piercing through the silence, Graydon’s screams start up again and you clap your hands over your ears and take off running, you need to get away from this awful place. Eventually, when you can no longer hear Graydon’s screams you stop running, you don’t know where you are, all the corridors look the same anyway, you sink down against the wall, bringing your knees up to your chest. There you sit, huddled up against the wall for what could have been minutes or hours. Eventually you’re too exhausted to keep your eyes open and you doze off. You think you’re dreaming at first, you can hear Graydon’s voice echoing around you but as it gets closer and you begin to wake up you can still hear his voice, and is that Elora too? You scramble to your feet and run towards the sound.

“Graydon?” You call, the hope in your voice is obvious.

You turn a corner and there he is, looking a little bit worse for wear but otherwise unharmed. You race towards him, collecting him in a bone crushing hug

“What happened?” You demand “Where’s Willow?”

They explain what Graydon told Elora, that the exorcism worked but now the Lich was possessing Willow and they needed to find him. Elora tells you that they think he might be in the High Tower and you nod, it makes sense but you can’t help but get a bad feeling about it in the pit of your stomach. Something wasn’t right. 

Right now though you couldn’t care less, with Graydon’s hand clutched in yours you felt like you could do anything and you were going to kick that Lich’s ass.

The three of you race up to the High Tower, Elora leading the way. Every so often, you catch Graydon glancing over at you with a smile and you wonder how much of the evening he remembers. The butterflies in your stomach soon overtake the previous unease and you’re almost embarrassed by how much of a wreck you were earlier. The door to the High Tower creaks open, revealing a dark and dusty yet empty room.

“He’s not here” Elora says, sounding defeated.

Graydon’s hand slips from yours and he begins to walk slowly into the room.

“No.” he says. You frown.

“I don’t understand, where could he be?”

“I don’t know, but maybe it’s okay.”

“What do you mean okay? We have to find him before it’s too late”

“Don’t you see?”

The sinking feeling in your stomach has returned and you find your hand creeping towards your sword.

“It doesn’t matter.” The previously unlit candles spring to life and you feel sick.

Graydon turns to face the two of you, two minutes ago he had looked unharmed, now it looked like his skin was blistering and peeling from his face. 

You unsheath your sword, it feels heavy in your hands as Graydon says

“He can’t help you anymore.”

Elora runs for the door but an unseen force slams it shut before she can reach it. You don’t take your eyes off Graydon

“We’re gonna finish the ritual. Tonight”

You take a step towards him

“Graydon, I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me,” you plead “this isn’t you”

“I’ve never felt stronger” His voice is distorted. This is not the Graydon you know. And it certainly isn’t the Graydon you love. He picks up a boulder from the floor and hoists it over his shoulder.

“Look! I’m strong now! I can finally protect you like you want. You don’t have to be the one looking after me all the time” His voice breaks and you hear the real Graydon underneath and your heart shatters. You shake your head at him, clutching your sword in both hands, terrified that you’re going to have to use it. 

“That is not what I want. You’re already strong, Graydon,” 

You can hear your blood rushing in your ears, your head is pounding, there’s definitely something fucked up about this tower. The tears you’ve been holding back prick at your eyes and threaten to spill out.

“You’re strong in ways that matter! In the real way! You’re smart and kind, I wish I was more like you!” Your voice cracks and you’re desperately trying not to let the tears spill out. Graydon looks unphased but you can see something swimming in his eyes. The real him is still there.

Suddenly the door swings open and Willow appears

“What did I say was the number one most important safety rule?”

Graydon hurls his rock at Willow who dives out of the way just in time. You launch yourself at Graydon, who just flings you backwards with a flick of his wrist where you fly into the door, hitting the back of your head with a slam. You black out for just a second but when you come to Graydon has Elora levitating high into the air.

“So tell me, how will you defeat us?”

You stand as willow says 

“Same as last time, with my friends.”

The door opens and Kit, Jade and Boorman stand besides you. You think for a moment that Graydon looks worried and is soon proved right when Willow uses his staff to send him flying backwards into the wall. Kit, Jade and Boorman run to pin him down. You’re still dazed, using a pillar to stop yourself from collapsing back on the floor when you hear Boorman's voice.

“We have to do it”

You know exactly what he means and you let out a yell, hurling yourself towards him. You are not letting anyone kill your best friend. Your tousle with Boorman for a moment, you think you’ve just got the upper hand when he lands a blow right to the bruise on the back of your head. Your vision swims and he manages to get a grip on your arms, holding you as you struggle against him. You scream in frustration, the tears finally spilling over onto your cheeks. Kit and Jade still battle to hold Graydon down although Jade has her sword half unsheathed and only Kit’s exclamation to wait stops her from using it. You’re sobbing now, fighting fruitlessly against Boorman’s hold. You just need to get to him, you just need to be with him. The world grows strangely silent as you turn your attention to Elora

“Please-!” you choke out “You need to save him please”

Slowly she makes her way over to you, you think it has nothing to do with your pleading and everything to do with whatever it was Kit just said to her but you don’t care. You just need her to save him. She holds her hand out to you and reluctantly Boorman lets you go to take it.

“I need your help” she says

You shake your head, the tears still flowing. 

“I’m no good at that shit. I can’t do magic. That’s Graydon’s thing”

“Do you love him?”

You’re taken aback but slowly you nod

“Then you can do it.”

She leads you over to Graydon who doesn’t fight back as Jade relinquishes her hold on him. Elora’s hand remains firmly in yours as you lean over the man you love. You feel as though he’s staring directly into your soul as your eyes flutter shut and your lips connect, the taste of him mingling with your salty tears. When you part you can see the wisps of gold light, streaming out from his mouth and into yours and when you turn to look you can see it travelling through your arm and into Elora where your hands connect. You watch as it dissipates out of her into the night air and you turn around to see Graydon staring at you in awe. You sob, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and burying your head in his neck

“You asshole, don’t ever do that to me again” You blubber. His hand comes up to the back of your head and he laughs breathlessly 

“I knew you could do it.”

[toi-monogatari]

Alikor

Alikor is my "first" Tav

(the first one I actually made was for a server with friends and I kinda can't open that game and we haven't played for such a long time I forgot the name and looks of that character)

Alikor is just a Tav. Not a durge.

They were made at first to just be me, but I ended up making them so Astarion crazy That I reload by almost every "Astarion Disapproved" tag.

Gender: non binary (they/them)

Class: bard

Race: tiefling

They're kind yet chaotic. They did help the druids and killed all of the goblins. They do not like slavery so they free everyone they can and killed Nere and the spider guy.

The party is: astarion, gale and karlach

Will is there as demon.

They love to play music to the group in evenings and can't bare to see others sad. She misses her family and wished that Alfira was there.

Now for a back story. This is a work in progress.

She and Alfira are sisters. They used to live together in the mountains and learning music. They got split up just before they got attacked by the goblins and Alikor got taken by the mind flayers. Once they found eachother again, they decided it will be saver for Alfira to go with the other tieflings, while Alikor would get rid of the tadpole.

Alikor studied history and became a lore bard. They sing of tales of the past, while writing stories of now.

Relationships:

Some evenings they'd sit together with Gale to write songs together, as he is proficient in writing poems. They're friends and respect eachother and each others space. They won't let him kill himself, whatever it takes. They'd love to actually turn his teacher into cheese.

Her and Karlachs relationship is kind of motherly. Karlach treats them like a child often, taking care of them and making sure they eat and take care of themselves, which they often forget while taking care of everyone else.

Shart and them are not on the best terms. As alikor often makes chaotic decisions, shart often gets upset about them.

Then and wyll are neutral together. They try to make wyll accept his new body, teaching him that having horns is not half as bad as it might seem.

Now for astarion... When they first met, Alikor was suspicious about the elf. But after a while they grew more curious about them.

That night... They almost died letting him drink. It was a wild night.

After that they slowly grew closer. He often disagreed with their terms but that's what comes with a person who wants to save people.

At the current moment in the game (shar temple act 2) they're dating.

Tell me if you have any questions about them :3

And feel free to draw my tavs.

Perhaps I'll do some incorrect quotes with them.

[violetren]

I recently saw a post talking about how it's possible (not stated in canon) that the reason Jaune had such a negative opinion of Ascension is because the Curious Cat tried to possess him and when they failed, called it failed Ascension to play innocent, and fuck if that isn't the coolest idea.

Obviously canon went a different direction grounding Jaune's dislike of CC in the uncertainty surrounding Alyx and Luis's return to Remnant and my theory on why the writers did this was so that they could keep the CC in a more neutral appearing position, playing up the idea of Jaune having gone full paranoid to add ambiguity, so that CC's ultimate betrayal against Ruby would hit with maximum impact.

And depending on your perspective there is a way they could have made Jaune almost getting taken over canon without necessarily lessening the impact of the Cat's heel turn. However, it wouldn't have the same type of impact. I think it would still be dramatic and devastating to Ruby, but it'd be kind of an apple's and oranges comparison to canon.

Everything plays out pretty much the same at first, right up until Jaune sees the Curious Cat with team RWBY. He reacts just as bad if not worse. The entire time the CC is just So Shocked and Sad and Worried About Jaune. Just full on condescension masking as sorrowful concern.

Jaune tries to describe the attempted takeover but the CC preys on the fact that team RWBY has seen them actually help others to ascend by giving them part of themself.

Jaune is traumatised as fuck and struggling to get the words out to clearly describe how violating it was to have something try and force its way into his body and take control of his mind. And CC cuts across his attempts with apologies about how they didn't know their usual method of helping Afteran's would affect an outsider in such a way. They use placating words thick with false remorse and concern for Jaune's well-being and graciously removes themself from the groups presence just before the punderstorm framing themself as the gracious reasonable one in the scenario. They're leaving because Jaune isn't okay and of course CC doesn't want that. They'll try apologising and helping AGAIN once Jaune has calmed down. Maybe team RWBY can help Jaune regain some objectivity?

In short, the Curious Cat full on gaslights Jaune and uses team RWBY's lack of both knowledge and context against everyone. They feed in a narrative that feels fully plausible based on everything we've seen and make Jaune look hysterical.

The Cat is just a little guy, not always has helpful as they could be but that's everyone in this weird ass world, it doesn't mean they're malicious. Jaune has just been through a lot, CC would never say he's gone crazy, just that he hasn't been quite right after Alyx's betrayal with the poison and what-not.

It's framed so that further attempts to explain from Jaune just sound so tragic, or like he's grasping for some reason any reason that might make CC look bad. He tries to explain what it was like and RWBY all just smile and nod sympathetically and explain how they saw the Cat give part of their soul to The Red Prince and The Herbalist to send them back to the tree, and how it's hard to know what effects of the Ever After's weirdness has on people from Remnant. And with those people he loves and trusts giving the same lines as CC Jaune's attempts get even more disjointed, because he trusts these guys and if they aren't convinced the Cat did anything bad maybe he is just over-reacting.

It's NOW that he brings up the whole mess of unknowns around Alyx and Luis leaving the Ever After because he knows SOMETHING bad happened, he knows the Cat is dangerous, he just needs to find a way to explain it that makes it make sense to his friends. RWBY love him but they can tell he's been so much and compared to the other accused crimes against the Cat it just feels like such a paper thin excuse, that they are just heartbroken seeing him so desperately try to make his outburst seem legitimate and proportionate to the situation. Eventually Jaune realises he isn't making headway and just kinda shuts down. If they don't wanna listen? Fine. There is a lot of work to do. Just stop looking at him with pity. Stop looking at him like he's crazy.

None of this is helped by his manic need to save the Paper Pleasers.

So, we fast forward a little. The Curious Cat does it's heel turn and tries to hollow out what is left of Ruby's heart and take over her body it still hits like a hammer.

Because Ruby is getting fucking drop kicked while she's down, but more than that. Jaune was right. Jaune survived this same horror by the skin of his teeth, and they believed the creature that put him through that instead of him. They became tools used to further hurt their friend. For Ruby it would have been another moment of "I've failed someone I love" and would have been another fracture point driving her to that cup of tea. Overall, it's horrifying. It's devastating.

And sure a lot of folks, Jaune stans, abuse survivors and combinations thereof might very well have believed Jaune from the start and seen the Cat's betrayal coming (some prolly still did even with what we got in canon), but even then the relief and validation of being proved right would have still have created a powerful moment and while that vindication might have distracted a small portion of the audience from the abject fear of watching one of our titular characters almost get body jacked it would have still be insanely memorable and intense.

Idk. Maybe it would have taken too much focus away from Ruby's own mental breakdown and maybe making it that deep of an issue would have just painted them into a corner where they wouldn't have the space to be able to address it with the proper gravitas in Volume 10 (which is probably gonna be VERY busy trying to catch everyone up and reconnect them while also STILL fighting Salem) and didn't want to deal with the potential backlash of side-lining the recovery from that trauma so they just didn't do it. But like. Still a cool as fuck concept to play with in the FNDM sandpit.

[jieanette]

Since you guys voted for the last poll I made, here's some stuff I've written for Cecil/Bartz :)

warning: Some of these might be a little ooc, sorry about that.

...

[Cecil takes Bartz to see the night sky (they're on the airship)]

"Come, I want to show you something."

"You know I don't like being up there."

"Just hold onto my hand. You'll be alright, I promise."

"Okay..."

"Why are we here?"

"Look up."

"Geez-oh-pete! Look at that beauty!"

"I've never seen the stars so up close before."

"One of the things I did when I was part of the Red Wings, was to look at the sky during nightfall. I would just lay here and appreciate the stars."

"There's something about the stars that felt... a little different to me. It always gives me comfort whenever I lost my way."

"In some ways... it felt like home to me."

"Is that so?"

"Yes... Sorry if I sound weird-"

"No, I get you. We feel melancholy when we're away from our home, and nature reminds us of it. Just like how the wind made me feel homesick about Lix. How it made me miss my folks, too."

"Hah... if my dad was here, seeing me looking up the stars... He'll say, "Bartz! It's past your bedtime, go to bed already!"

Cecil laughs with Bartz.

"I miss him... and my mom too."

"I wish I had met my parents."

"But you have your brother."

"I do... But he really never tells me anything. Everytime we meet, he's..."

"Why do families have to be so complicated sometimes?"

"Beats me."

[silence]

"Hey, just so you know... Even if your own brother can't be there for you. I'll stick by your side, no matter what."

"Are you sure? I don't think I'm much to be around..."

"I think you do. Everyone should have someone on their side, even you."

"You really think so?"

"Of course!"

"Thank you... You're much too kind."

"Don't sweat it, I'm only doing what a friend should do!"

...

[Based on the ending of Dissidia 012]

"Cecil, wait!"

Cecil turned to see Bartz running towards him, a crystal in hand. Before he knew it, his lips touched Bartz's, receiving a small but bittersweet kiss. It was the first time he was kissed, and the feeling of Bartz's body against his, intertwining only with their lips gave him the warm feeling he longed for. He kissed back, knowing it will be the last time they'll get to see each other again.

They let go after a while, feeling hot breaths against their faces. Cecil watched as Bartz slowly disappear.

"I love you."

That was his final words to him.

"I love you too."

That was the last Bartz heard from Cecil, as he travels back home.

...

"Here!"

Bartz handed a rather thick scarf to Cecil.

"Where did you get this?"

"Made it myself," He beamed with pride as he said it.

"I noticed you were always so cold, so I thought having scarf would help!"

"That was quite sweet of you, Bartz," Cecil was quite touched at his care and sentiment.

"Wear it, I wanna see how it looks on you," he asked eagerly.

Cecil warpped around the scarf on his neck and shoulders. It was soft to touch, making it rather comfortable to wear. The cold feeling that Cecil always gets was diminished quickly, and he could feel the warmth all around his upper body.

"You look really cute on that."

The compliment made Cecil blushed in embarrassment. The red tint glowed against his pale skin. He tried to hide it with his newly made scarf.

...

[Fair warning, I haven't got to Gilgamesh in FFV yet, I used a video from Dissidia. Again, sorry for some inaccuracies and ooc]

"Seriously? Now?" Bartz sighed in irritation.

"Where else? It is a perfect place for our fated rematch!" Gilgamesh hawked.

"We're in a middle of something here. Like, you know, a date?"

"Ah, Bartz, you would let something so trivial hold you back? Surely your date isn't more important than our match!"

"It kinda is."

Normally Bartz is entertained by Gilgamesh's antics, however, this was one of the only times he could have alone time with Cecil, and he's frustrated that he had to deal with him now. He looked to Cecil, he had a neutral face, and somehow he could tell he was slightly amused by his odd rival. He glanced back at him, giving a small smile.

"I don't think he'll stop if you resist. You should fight him."

"See? Your lover wants the match too! Would you protest in his demands?"

"Are you sure, Cecil?"

"Yes, the faster you deal with him, the sooner we can continue," he nodded.

"If it's a match he wants, he will have it!" Bartz pumped his fist, bracing himself for Gilgamesh.

"I expected no less from my chosen rival! Steel yourself!"

"It's one-on-one!"

Cecil took a step back, watching as Bartz fought with Gilgamesh. He had always heard of their matches from Bartz, and often times it ended with him winning. So he wasn't so worried when they fought, knowing and trusting his lover to fight well in their match. It was also his first time meeting him, and it seemed like what Bartz said about him was true, he was quite overdramatic and silly, that Cecil couldn't help but to chuckle. It was an interesting date, suffice to say.

As expected, Bartz got an upper hand and won. Gilgamesh was a respectable rival, acknowledging his strengths even when defeated. He was about to go on a long speech, until he faded away.

[tuxedo-rabbit]

Estryd Playthrough part 1

I want to talk a little bit about my Estryd playthrough so far, spoilers for Dark Urge will be discussed

Playing an Amnesiac in D&D is always fun. It gives you time to figure out who this character is exactly, because they don't know either.

At first, I was really leaning in to the dark urges with Estryd, you get prompts every once in a while to think violent things, a couple prompts to do violent things, but really, in the very beginning of the game there isn't a whole lot about it that seems too terribly irredeemable. And the big thing is you can also just choose to ignore the prompts, it's not so much an urge as an option.

So, Estryd was a little off-put by these darker thoughts, but altogether she was more bothered by the fact that she couldn't remember who she was and that she suddenly had magic powers and a tadpole in her head. She only mentioned these violent urges to Lae'zel, and only after Lae'zel described the symptoms of ceremorphosis and Estryd realized that the two may not be related after all.

Things Estryd learned about herself as she collected her party and explored the tiefling camp:

She has violent urges

She's a Warlock, but she doesn't know who her patron is and if they're related to her dark urges

She's got a good amount of knowledge when it comes to the arcane and history

She really likes books

She knows things about plants and alchemy

She's good at convincing people to do what she wants, whether that be through lying, intimidating, or simply persuading. She's best at intimidation.

It was all fun and games until it wasn't.

Estryd met Alfira the bard, and initially, refused to help her. The song was bad and Alfira's sweet peronality got on Estryd's nerves. The only reason she went back and helped is because she thought it would be funny to piss off some nearby squirrels who hated the music (Estryd can be a bit of an ass at times, I mean she is a Dark Urge character after all).

This is when it started to feel like the dark urges may be a separate entity from Estryd.

See, when you refuse the narrator implies you are disgusted by Alfira's too-sweet personality. But when you choose to help, the phrasing changes ever so slightly, to imply that something within you, different from the part of you that chose to help Alfira, is disgusted at your own too-sweet behavior. I can't remember the exact phrasing, but it's the first time the urge is described as not coming from your own psyche but something else within you instead.

After helping Alfira, when the party takes a long rest, Alfira joins your camp. I don't know what happens when you are not playing a dark urge character, probably fun things. What happened with Estryd is that she woke up covered in blood with Alfira's corpse at her feet.

I cannot describe how completely unprepared I was for this. There had been no consequences thus far, and now suddenly you feel dangerous. Estryd was horrified. She didn't even try to hide the body (the game gives you that option though), she just waited for everyone to wake up so they could decide whether or not to kill her.

The companion reactions were interesting.

Gale and Lae'zel were squarely in the "You're dangerous and completely at fault" camp,

Shadowheart was the same except with a slight "but you clearly feel guilty and that says something"

Wyll was 100% in denial that it was Estryd. The man truly thought someone else broke into camp and framed her. Like, so sweet my dude, but no. it was her.

And my favorite, Astarion, Mr. "I'm not even bothered but you really should have hidden the body better"

Also you can ask Withers to resurrect her and he will bluntly tell you "No :)"

Love these guys so much. (No Karlach because she was not recruited yet.)

This was a game changer. How do you move forward after discovering you can literally wake up to find out you've killed a potential companion? Estryd was no longer neutral about the situation. She vowed to never let this happen again. She would find a way to stop them whatever caused these dark urges, or die before she let it overtake her.

She also kept Alfira's lute as a reminder, and I had her multiclass as bard for rp flavor. It's maybe a bit...macabre....for Estryd to keep the lute of the girl she murdered and to start studying how to be a bard to honor her memory, but idk, i like it for this character.

I think I'm going to end this here because it's gotten very long, but I want to record more of Estryd's journey later. I'm currently in the Underdark with her and unlocked a specific memory after the game let me do something that felt very D&D-esque. Loving the Dark Urge so far, what a way to tell the player this origin is serious.

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

4, 11, 19 and 22 for Cylas and Catherine <3

more for this

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Cylas: in the past, freeze or fawn. in the canon present... evaluate xD tendency towards flight probably because a) a lot of the time it wouldn't be worth the trouble, b) physical altercations can be difficult to actually win (bc she smol), c) her whole thing is about preventing conflict and getting angry, she tries to remove herself from the situations because usually she gets more angry than scared. however, if she's worried for someone else's safety, she'll fight

Cathryn: excuse me, she does not get scared. ever. it's true, she told me. ok but fr, fight. always fight. she doesn't want to show vulnerability or weakness and feels she has to protect everyone.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Cylas: love their knives/daggers. good for stabbing, cutting throats, and throwing. they did spend quite some money on them but they also are her main weapon if she isn't using things she's taken from others or the environment ;D

Cathryn: her body ;D teef and strength, but also... the environment. weapons taken from her opponents. isn't actually particularly trained in the use of any weapon, so guns are out of question.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

Cylas: depends on the level of anger, why, and who or what caused it. usually outwardly calm though their expression will show that they're angry. most likely will try to remove or distance themself from the situation to avoid a violent outburst (bashing people's heads in isn't socially acceptable)

Cathryn: impulsive, aggressive (though not necessarily physically violent - at first), but if she's around people she cares about she'll storm off to avoid snapping at anyone. only her sister and Alicia can really get through to her

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Cylas: hmm... lawful neutral if it's based on her own rules ;D I think it's generally difficult to say that a character who murders is good, add to that torture and kinda sadism... yeah, nah. not evil though. and... I don't think she's really chaotic? so, true neutral or lawful neutral 🤷🏼‍♀️

Cathryn: ...chaotic neutral? i think? too much murder to be good, though she overall has good intentions and only kills the bad guys. just. not always in self-defense. and sometimes quite cruelly. though she technically also strategises and plans (unless acting in anger or fear), and according to her own moral compass so... might be true neutral as well 🤔