#I want to do a lot of outside vids this coming year ugh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

babymilkawa · 4 years ago

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Can you do the haikyuu captions with an S/o who is in their first year (fluffy)

yayy finally have a reason to write for kuroo and bokuto

first year s/o headcanons with:

oikawa tooru, sawamura daichi, kuroo tetsuro, bokuto kotaro

gn!reader :)

oikawa tooru

at first, you were a little hesitant on letting your relationship out

because some of his fans could be second or third years yk, we don’t want no bullies bullies b gone whoosh

but he is almost always by your side and has even acted annoyed to his fans if they were ever mean to you

having a third year as your bf means that you can get homework help whenever you want

and all your teachers love him

so they don’t mind if he hangs out in the classroom sometimes, as long as he doesn’t distract you

he’ll gush about how you and your little friends are so cute

pull that old man shit and be like “I remember those days, we were young and free~”

dramatic king

whenever you go to one of his games, you’ll always try to cheer louder for him compared to his other fans and he’s got like this big surge of pride

but afterwards he’ll be like “don’t lose your voice honey”

will want you to be the team’s new manager soooo bad

like will beg you on his knees because if you accept the current manager’s offer, you can see your bf even more and he can impress you

the manager totally doesn't use that to try to convince you

oikawa really just loves how the slight age gap means he has more the reason to take care of you

your first time during a class sports event? he’s right by your side, making sure you don’t feel awkward or lost

yes he’s that type of person who looooves it when you ask questions and he can show off his smexy brain

a lot of times Iwaizumi will hit him in the back of the head if he’s talking with you too much and he’ll just sulk and slump his head on your shoulder

sawamura daichi

he’ll always bop his head into ur class

he’s obviously also a teacher’s favorite have u met this guy

oh wait no u haven’t, rip sucks to be u *sobs*

so the teachers don't mind

ur teachers prolly even gush about him with you, yk like those teachers who lOVE drama/gossip yea them

Nishinoya and tanaka always try to get ur attention bc your Daichi’s s/o and every time, Daichi will yell at them, telling them to not scare you off

but they still do it

tis a cycle

plays 128489x better when you’re around

wait gotta round that so 130000x

we know he’s very encouraging to his teammates but with you around? he’s like Yamaguchi’s personal cheering squad

will go to your house in the mornings, walk you to class, wait there at lunch, walk you home, ugh this man can’t get enough of u

he loves it when you lean against him when u guys walk together, he’ll wrap a secure arm around you and you nuzzle in his neck SHDFKJHDKS

u always help them shag the balls and he’s like “no, no, y/n let tanaka and Nishinoya do it” and those two are giving you puppy eyes

cue Daichi chasing them down

if tanaka and noya are puppies, he’s your bulldog

omg random but y'all know that one parks and rec episode where they’re picking people’s spirit dog? yea Daichi is like a bulldog

but once he turns to you it’s all 🌈🌟💫💝

but he’s genuine

no fakes we don’t want them

if you read my sick s/o hcs you’ll know how much of a “handsome boy” to elderly people he is

hehe sry for the self promo

kuroo tetsuro

u already know what ur dates are gonna be like

he’s gonna smexy study with you *bites lip*

yea that’s right Kuroo just leave ur brain and go

this man,,,again I know,,,is adored by your teachers

“Kuroo you’ve still got that same hair!”

yea he’s def like a teacher assistant or smn during his free period

he’ll pick ur class and just wiggles his eyebrows whenever y'all make eye contact

when you’re done with a presentation, he’ll be the first and loudest when clapping

alwaysss is there when you need a pencil or an eraser

this man will literally prepare protein bars for you the morning u have a test, will give you a pep talk, y'all like huddle outside the classroom or something LMAO that’s cute tho

“you’re gonna go in there and you’re gonna kick that test in the ass ok?”

gives you a dad pat, a kiss to ur head and gives you two thumbs up when you glance at him at your desk

p sure everyone in your class wants him to hold a study session

but no ladies & gentlemen, he’s reserved for y/n and y/n only good day ☺️

its kinda impossible for u to fail

to thank his brain, you always show up to his practices and games

you give the team their water, towels, etc and he’s just yea that’s right they’re my s/o

now shower them with praise *holds them at gunpoint*

his schedule is busier than yours and he always feels bad abt it

which is why he’s soooo clingy if y'all sleepover or after hw

it’s hard for him to resist u cuddles during hw tho

OMIGOD WATCH THIS VID

bokuto kotaro

ok at this point we know that all our captains are angels so

*deep inhale*

he’s a teachers favorite

there I said it sue me

so yes he WILL hang around your classroom and talk to the teachers

p sure he does that with akaashi buttt 👀

and if u can’t come out during break he’ll just mope by the doorway while akaashi nom noms on his snacc boccuto

he won’t rly help u with hw, he’ll try but go off topic and whoops why did a pillow hit my face

yea y’all don’t get much studying done so hopefully ur smart

ACTUALYYYYY you just call akaashi

DuH

bokuto will litrally be like “ur bad at math? Babe just jump in the pool with me rn with ur clothes on, take a shower and then we’ll call akaashi!!”

it was 1 am 💀

he’s a good distraction whenever you’re stressed out

literally sunshine in human form

if ur there during his practices and matches he almost NEVERS goes into Emo mode bc gotta impress my s/o

ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ!!

will randomly call out to you when he’s on the court

“HEY Y/N HI HELLO”

“this ones for you” *hits it into the net*

every time he gets a good play he’ll immediately look into the crowd and ur there jumping for him and he’s jumping back and awww

some ppl r wondering if he’s even older than u like y’all look abt the same age 🤔

he’s just 🍗🍗🍖🍖🍑🍑

if ur not there during practice he’ll definitely just slouch and swing his arms around “where’s y/nnnn”

someone lift his face up and kiss him on the nose

THATS U Y/N GET UR MAN

but he knows he can’t act like that during games

he’ll just have to suck it up

and pretend like ur there, pretend that ur voice is there

literally he can only pick out your cheers from a whole stadium of people

but obv u get the best seats ;)

a/n: aaah this was fun to write ^3^

haikyu!! masterlist

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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so ironwood was confirmed to be dead by Miles in a $42 cameo session, where the person who bought it had asked for "comforting words to soothe our anguished souls" bc she was an ironwood fan and wanted a pick-me-up after that devastating finale. miles' response was to essentially mock his fans (it really sounded like that, especially since he ended with "thank you jimmy, may you rest in pieces, crushed beneath the weight of the kingdom you tried so hard to hold up above your head."

apparently the VA, jason rose, confirmed it in DMs w the same fan who sent in the cameo ask. so like, quite apart from how rude and disrespectful it was of miles to make a mockery of james in a cameo where he'd been specifically asked for comforting words regarding the character, ngl but i think that if you have to confirm a MAJOR CHARACTER is dead outside of canon bc you failed to actually show it on screen.....you've failed as a writer. and also that kind of thing shouldn't be confirmed in an expensive and exclusive interview lmao like how hard would it have been to just talk about good aspects to james' character instead of calling him a dickbag and saying 'don't do a genocide, guys!!'

it reeks of unprofessionalism and also it just makes everything surrounding ironwood's character arc even worse since apparently 'his fate was sealed' from the moment he was introduced to the show.

Me, who received the first Moderna shot yesterday (🎉 🎉 🎉 ): Ugh I feel too crappy to answer asks today

Me, upon hearing this news: You know, I have suddenly found an untapped source of energy

Okay, all joking aside, I watched the vid and it’s definitely a lot. I don’t have any information about the request itself except for what Miles mentions in the recording, so I can’t speak to what the fan may have been looking for outside of that, but some highlights include:

“This is for the filth in my degenerate discord server” - Yeah, that’s how a lot of us (fans) talk about ourselves. It sounds like someone who really enjoys Ironwood and makes joking, self-deprecating comments about their love of a character. That’s familiar to me and speaks to the expectation that they hoped for something other than what they got. At least, if I’d sent in a request like that I wouldn’t be happy with the vid, but that’s obviously my own perspective and not this fan’s. I’d be very curious to know their own thoughts though...

“Sometimes a character we like doesn’t make it, does something we don’t agree with... or both!” - That is indeed how characters work! The real question is whether their death/actions make sense within the story, which is not addressed here. Many fans who enjoyed Ironwood don’t have a problem with him dying or turning into a villain — I’ve been honest about my acceptance of either/both, regardless of personal preference, provided it was written well — and that was always the issue. Not what happened to Ironwood, but how it happened.

“James Ironwood’s fate was sealed the moment his character was conceived many years ago.” - Personally, I don’t believe this. RT makes a lot of grand, sweeping statements about what’s been planned “for years” or “since the beginning” and too often we’re faced with writing that directly contradicts that. Though it’s unlikely we’ll ever know the truth, neither option paints the writing team in a good light. Either they’re straight up lying about what’s been planned (or twisting tossed out possibilities into assurances after the fact. For example, someone once suggested Ironwood might become a villain somehow at some point and now that’s presented as, ‘We’ve deliberately been working towards this specific ending for years’), or they’re being truthful and just... can’t write what they want to write. It doesn’t sound good when a writer says, ‘I’ve planned this the whole time’ and a good chunk of the fandom responds, ‘Then why couldn’t we see that planning this whole time?’

“When James was introduced we intentionally made him look like kind of a big dickbag, but then we realized that dickbag had a heart and was also half metal, and that was pretty cool!” - I don’t even know what to make of this. I’ve deconstructed his introduction before, but to summarize here, he’s presented as no more of a “dickbag” than Ozpin who may not be doing enough to protect the people, Winter who allowed herself to get taunted into a fight on campus, or Qrow who deliberately started that fight while drunk. Glynda is the only one who is arguably innocent here. The implication seems to be that obviously Ironwood became a villain because “we intentionally made him look like kind of a big dickbag” but then... does that mean Qrow will become a villain too someday??

The comments about them realizing he had a heart and was half metal just speak to that lack of planning. No, you obviously didn’t plan this downfall from the start if you “realized” something as basic as him caring for others partway through writing him and then allowed that care to drive his character for so long that the decent into villainy read as OOC, rather than inevitable. You obviously weren’t writing him with a backstory that influenced his character — of which his semblance is a major part — if you “realized” he was half-metal... whenever that happened. The fact that we never saw that backstory, or the semblance on screen, or returned to his half-metal nature outside of a ‘That’s coding for evilness’ theme again speaks to the fact that either a) none of this was actually planned or b) the execution is seriously lacking here.

“Let us all take a moment to thank General James Ironwood for his service to the Kingdom of Atlas, but... at the end of the day, don’t do a genocide [laughs]” - I’m having trouble articulating why I dislike this. I’m really too tired to be unpacking this right now (lol), but it has something to do with — as you say, anon — that mocking tone. Something else to do with the surge of purity culture in recent years. The tone feels like it’s tied up in an unsaid, ‘You like the character who tried to commit genocide?’ accusation when, you know, he’s a fictional character. People can like characters who do bad things. More significantly, he’s a fictional character Miles wrote. There’s something particularly distasteful about writers who feel like they’re laughing at fans for liking something when they created the thing with the intent that we would like it. And many did. So they gave attention, time, money, passion, etc. to the work and then when that part of the work finished, the creator appears to make light of that investment? Idk, I’m speaking about more than just this one line — the tone of the vid as a whole, really — but it feels much less like “You enjoy Ironwood! 😄” and more “You enjoy Ironwood... 😬” Like yeah, fans enjoyed the character that you wanted them to enjoy who you wrote to have a heart and then suddenly commit genocide instead. There’s definitely nothing complicated in all that.

“Thank you, Jimmy. May you rest in pieces crushed beneath the weight of the kingdom you tried so hard to hold above your head. Amen.” - All of the above x2 with the added issue that this was never shown on screen. Miles presents Ironwood’s arc like this seven year long plan when in fact they couldn’t even manage the basic move of telling the audience what happened to the character in his final hour. The fact that a fan had to pay to find out whether Ironwood is dead is not a gold star for the writing.

Every time the RWBY crew speaks about the story in supplementary material the canon itself gets worse. Hyping Clover/Qrow on social media pushes the canon closer to queerbaiting. We’re way closer to that with them hyping Blake/Yang. Long ago comments about Ozpin’s cane suddenly make Volume 8 a retcon. A Q&A about Ironwood’s semblance makes his arc a thousand times more confusing about how we’re supposed to read his character — to name just a few. Now this. When a friend first told me this info had dropped I thought, “Thank god. He’s not coming back then. I don’t want them writing Ironwood’s character anymore,” but really... can we believe anything the crew says? “Crushed beneath the weight of his kingdom” doesn’t mean Ironwood won’t show up in Volume 9 if it’s a spirit world type adventure. It doesn’t mean he won’t show up three years from now with even more metal in his body and a, “We said he was crushed, not that he was dead ;)” explanation. Hell, it doesn’t even mean he won’t show up with no explanation at all because, as established, what’s said in supplementary works and what happens on screen are two entirely separate things. Iffy as the vid may come across to those who did like Ironwood, I was initially happy that it at least gave us some closure... but now I’m not even sure about that.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Anonymous

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ramblinganthropologist · 4 years ago

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N7 Challenge Month - 7 (Free Day)

Summary: Normally, the first yead med school class at Johns Hopkins has a demonstration from a biotic to understand the system. Problem is, he can’t make it. Luckily, they can rely on their quiet an unassuming classmate to help them out of a tight spot. Did I mention that classmate used to be Commander Shepard?

---

-Brain fuckers group chat-

John: Ugh, bad news.

Al: ?

John: Biotic Bob can't make it for the demonstration Monday. Looks like we're having a lecture instead.

Al: Oh? That sucks.

John: Yeah I did not want to listen to Dr. Yamada again. Ugh... too bad all the biotics are military, right?

---

“Please tell me you brought coffee...”

“No, I thought we were having that demonstration.”

The 1st year class of John Hopkins was not in the happiest mood that Monday morning as they sidled into their normal 8 AM lecture. It was the middle of the semester, so that was to be expected. The reality of the next four years had settled in at last; the only thing waiting for them was more classes, labs, and eventual clinicals. To do it without coffee was suicidal.

And now, they didn't even have the biotic demonstration to liven things up.

That was somewhat of a recent addition to the curriculum. After all, biotics were less than 50 year development in human biology. Most of the times, cases presented as children with tumors or the rare adult who had been discharged from the military. Any others were handled by Alliance doctors, so it wasn't like med students got much to study from. Even their school had to face that.

Still, it was a disappointment they had to live with. It wasn't like they could make a biotic appear.

“Hey, anyone seen Al? He never misses class.”

A quick glance around showed none of the class' oldest student. Al as he introduced himself was hard to miss: his bright red hair drew the eye, as did his scars and artificial parts. He had been in the military before this, or at least that was what he had told them when they had asked. From his less than forthcoming replies, it was clear he didn't want to talk about it. Since he was a nice guy, they had left the matter drop.

Besides, trying to picture the long-haired Irishman in uniform was impossible. You got a headache trying to do it.

“Maybe it's his headaches again.”

“Poor guy, he's been getting those a lot lately. He missed our study session last week because of one. Hope it's nothing from...”

The conversation died soon after that. Even though it had been almost half a decade since the Reaper war, people didn't like to bring them up. Too many had lost loved ones or seen the destruction first hand. Hell, it was probably why most of them had gone to med school in the first place. Doctors had been at an all time need during the war, and after there was a dire need for replacing the ones lost. There would always be that reminder there, like a scar that wasn't finished healing. Maybe it never would.

But... that didn't matter. They had a lecture to sit through. Becoming melancholy saps could wait until after their brains had all been fried.

Right on the dot, as 8 AM hit Dr. Yamada entered the room. However, the small woman was smiling as she surveyed the class. There was a glint in her eye that made them worry about a pop quiz, but then they relaxed. She didn't have scantrons.

“Good morning, everyone. You're in luck, we found a replacement for our usual demonstration of the biotic system in action. If you wouldn't mind going outside, our guest is waiting for us.”

The mood improved immediately as students packed up their notebooks and stuffed them back into bags. Within a minute, the lecture room emptied as they followed their teacher out. Outside, it was a beautiful day as the leaves were really starting to change color. Their goal was an empty field not too far from class.

A giant of a woman was standing there ,wearing nothing but a tank top and some pants. Her muscular arms bore the scars of military service, which contrasted greatly with her bright pink hair and glowing red eyes. Most knew her immediately – retired Commander Bo Peep Shepard, humanity's second Spectre. Thanks to her, they were able to have class and, you know, be alive in general. She was standing there, arms crossed over her chest.

“Remember, you owe me lunch for this. There's still Burger Man's on this world last I checked.”

She was speaking to someone on the other side of the field. A general murmur picked up as they realized who was standing there. Honestly, it was a surprise they hadn't noticed them first. Then again, Al usually wore a hoodie when he was in class.

“I know, I won't forget.” Al was wearing just a t-shirt and loose shorts as he stretched. Much to their surprise... the little guy was actually pretty strong looking. He must've been hiding those biceps under his loose hoodies. That wasn't the only thing hiding either - his prosthetics were in full view, gleaming in the light. With his hair pulled back, those behind him saw both his scars and the embedded metal they had studied in textbooks. It was the very picture of the standard Alliance L7 biotic amp – which meant their classmate was packing some serious brain heat. “Thanks for helping out.”

Commander Bo smirked as she shrugged. She too had a biotic amp, though hers was a bit more visible. “What can I say, you sounded so fucking desperate on the phone and I was near Earth anyway. Now, are we doing this or what? I'm hungry.”

Both turned towards Dr. Yamada, who seemed pleased by her ability to get such an entertaining class. Most of the class had fallen silent as they kept trying to figure out on who to focus on first. After all, it wasn't every day they had such a high powered biotic in their midst. They had seen Bo plenty of times on the vids, tearing reaper husks apart as she blasted her way through the battlefield. Al... well, he was always in class with coffee and chipper encouragement that they could get through the hell that was their first year.

Now... he was fucking biotic apparently!

“I would like to introduce our guest today. Commander-”

Bo interjected. “Retired, doc.”

“Yes, forgive me. Retired Commander Bo Peep Shepard agreed to help us out.” She nodded to the redhead on the other side of the field. “You of course all know your classmate. Al arranged this for us when our previous presenter had to drop out, so make sure to thank him later.”

He answered with a somewhat awkward smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. He often did that, but now they knew why – he was touching the spot where his amp had been embedded into his neck. Now most of them realized they had never seen him with his hair up before. Maybe this was why?

“It's a lot easier to understand biotics when you can see it in action.”

Yamada nodded, pleased. “Indeed, it is. I learn something new every time we hold this demonstration. Now, could you explain what you're going to do?”

Al nodded as he approached the class briefly. His posture shifted as he did, falling into a form that reminded most of other vids they had seen in years prior. Bo, after all, was the second human Spectre the Council had appointed in 2183. Another had stood with her, almost dwarfed by her size. The other Commander, the one who had commanded the famous Normandy. The man who had died, come back, and beaten the Reapers in the desperate days of 2186.

Retired Commander Alistair Shepard: a biotic, a medic, and their classmate.

“Well, we're going to go through some of the basic biotic moves.” his voice projected in a way it never had. It sounded like a post puberty version of one they had all heard on his appointment vid. “Bo's focused on on melee offense, whereas my specialty is more in defense. I would advise everyone to step back a bit more. We uh...”

Bo finished for him. “It's been a while since we've gotten to crack each other's skulls.”

Much to the class's surprise, Al laughed. “I don't know if we're going to crack any skulls, but it's been some time since we've gotten to practice with each other. Though, it has been a while since I've used my biotics, so I have a pretty strong charge to work off...”

Biotics had been mentioned in previous lectures when they had gone over the nervous system. Those who had better memory recalled the nodules, how they interacted with the brain's electronic impulses and the implanted amps that augmented their training. The class was supposed to be going over both the perfected system and all the side-effects that failed cases would be presenting with that week if the schedule was right. This demonstration usually served to help them understand how the human system responded to the training and implantation.

And... well, the cases were swelling post war. Eezo exposure had been on the rise ever since the final days of the battle for Earth. A lot of ships and Reapers had fallen after the battle, so it was no surprise they were seeing more biotic children.

So, now they got to watch two adults kick each other all over a field. You know, for educational purposes and all.

“A good idea. “Yamada motioned them back, behind a line someone had drawn in the field in chalk. “You can begin when ready.”

Al and Commander Bo both took their positions on the other side of the field. They breathed, and then a hum of energy filled the area with static that made people's teeth itch. Both of their eyes started to glow as they powered up, bringing up dust with them. Then a glowing blue wall erected around Al as he held out his hands.

“This is called a barrier. It's a basic biotic ability that allows for defense from physical attacks.”

Al was still speaking, projecting his voice as he held out his hands. He was bracing for something that soon became obvious. Bo had charge forward, a red field crackling around her head. There was a loud thud as she collided, head first, with the wall. Energy filled the field as their energies battled against each other, and sparks flew.

“Bo is using a technique she improvised from a krogan battlemaster named Urdnot Wr-”

He had to stop talking. She was applying more pressure, seeking a way to break his barrier. However, he let it down instead and used a smaller field to jump over her massive frame. She whirled around as he landed on the other side, not letting him rest.

“Improvised? This is shit I figured out on Omega!”

Al, despite the onslaught, laughed as he blocked and dodged. “My mistake, Bo's technique is a human reaction to krogan underground wrestlers trying take her title!”

“They still haven't, but they love trying!”

They clashed again, this time with Bo's hands glowing. Al responded with a wave of energy from his hands that he threw out. The textbook called hers Pull, while his most resembled Shockwave. Both sent out crackles of energy in red and blue that sent hair raising. In the center of this storm, the two participants were too focused on beating the shit out of each other to realize that a crowd was beginning to gather. Other students and various passers-by were stopping to watch, and more than a few omni-tools were recording.

This was definitely going on the extranet later. It wasn't every day you saw biotics sparring out of uniform.

“Your attacks feel different, is that because you're on T now?”

“Yeah, they're a lot stronger now. I had to relearn how to use Warp because of it, it kept going wild and I almost took a window out last time I tried.”

Despite their high level of activity, the pair were still able to talk to each other. Granted, it was more like shouting due to their adrenaline levels pumping, but they were definitely having a conversation as they tried to beat the shit out of each other. Maybe that was something they had developed on the Normandy or any of the galaxy saving missions they had been on together.

Or maybe it was just sibling banter. Who knew with biotics.

Al shifted at one point, and then it was Bo on the defensive. Unlike her opponent, she didn't use a full barrier. Instead, she shifted it to smaller fields wherever he tried to attack. After all, she was the offensive master.

“Someone's been working out, your attacks are actually starting to sting a little.” And then she threw out a sudden wave of energy and he was back on defense. “Whoops, you got cocky there didn't you? Why don't you save the preening for the next dirty pics for Scars?”

His answer came with a shimmering wave of energy - the aforementioned Warp. It made Bo back up to get out of range of the damage. Then she had to block a pretty vicious looking kick that came when Al dropped low. That definitely would've bruised her thighs had it landed.

“Get it straight, he's the one sending dirty pics not me.”

Bo whistled as she dodged. There was a conversation between them,built up on history, that most of them were missing. All that mattered was that two incredibly strong biotics were currently trying to beat the shit out of each other and they were getting to see it first hand. This was the kind of thing none of them ever got to see.

And maybe because of that, the comment about dirty pics and Commander Shepard went over their heads a little.

Al's hand was glowing as he lunged forward. To the more experienced, it could have been a warp or shockwave. With how fast he was going it was hard to tell. “So, how's my favorite sister in law to be doing?”

Bo blocked and sent him jumping back when she swung down with her fists glowing as well. Hers looked more like warp. “Still the best admiral the Fleet has. Well, not much of a fleet since they got Rannoch back and all, but you get what I mean.”

“Your house there looks great, by the way. We getting an invite any time soon?” Al laughed as he dodged, ducking lower than where Bo's fist could have reached due to her height. He was enjoying himself – they had never seen him smile like that in class. Even though he was breathing hard and his cheeks were red, there was no way to deny the fact he was having fun.

Weird, that fun for him involved nearly getting the shit beat out of him. Marines were weird, even the retired ones.

“She said something about winter break, so maybe.” Bo swung hard again. “Ugh, I'm getting bored. Let's just finish this shit before it winds up on the extranet. I think you've had enough of a workout to keep your amp happy.”

Al nodded as he flipped back with surprising grace for someone missing half his limbs. “Sounds good to me. Hope you're ready to bring it.”

“Hey, that's my line.” Her head was glowing as she reared back. “Let's see if you can handle what the last three challengers couldn't!

And then they charged, with the space between them suddenly feeling very heavy. The effect was coming from Al – he had launched a singularity just as Bo struck hard with her forehead. The two forces collided in the center, energies bouncing off each other as the explosion began. However, before it could spread, everything was stopped by a wall of shimmering blue force that kept the whole campus from exploding.

Well... that was a way to end it.

When the energy cleared, both of them were laying on the ground, breathing hard. Bo's forehead was bruised, and Al's hands looked a little sore. Despite that, they both looked pretty happy as they sat up, sweating like pigs.

“I needed that.”

“That makes two of us.” Bo got up first, holding out her hand. Al was soon back on his feet, barely coming up to her shoulder. “Your singularity stings like crazy, by the way.”

Al was grinning as the professor walked back over to take back the class. “I've been working on it.”

Just like that, the demonstration was over and they were heading back inside. The crowd was starting to dissipate, their phones full of images of two Spectres going at it. Nobody was going to forget that anytime soon, least of all the class of first year med students.

After all, it wasn't every day they learned their classmate had pretty much saved the galaxy before he was 40. Though, maybe it was more they had forgotten about it... they wouldn't be doing that anytime soon, thank you very much.

---

“I can't believe I missed that!”

“Well, lucky for you the video is everywhere. It's gone viral!”

Tuesday came with a buzz of activity as the first year med school class waited for their lecture to begin. Most of them had their phones or omni-tools out, watching the different angles of the very fight they had witnessed the day before. To say it had gotten popular was... putting it mildly.

Also people were seriously thirsty for both Shepards. Like calm down, they were both taken.

“I don't see Al, do you think he's out sick with a headache or something?”

His seat was empty. Maybe overdoing it with his biotics had caused a migraine or something. They were learning about that in class – something about the amp overheating and causing feedback. It didn't quite make sense yet, but they were still working on the biotic system. In time, they would come to understand it.

Luckily for them, the class didn't have to wait long. A side door opened, and someone slipped through with the trained calm of someone who had done it way too many times. Al sighed in relief as he closed the door behind him with his foot, already heading over to his seat.

“Morning, everyone. Man, it is crazy out there.”

He took his seat like he did every day, coffee in hand and a neon pink bandage over his cheek and nose. There was also a band-aid with cartoon cat paws covering a few fingers, and he had a few bruises to match that. It didn't take a genius to figure out where it had come from, but... it hadn't looked that bad the day before.

Al smiled at their looks as he waved it off with his bandaged hand. “I might have overdid it with the biotics yesterday, but I'm fine. Besides, we should probably be more worried about class. I think we've got a pop quiz coming if the look on Dr. Yamada's face was anything to go by when I passed her earlier.”

The whole room groaned as notes were grabbed for frantically. They could worry about that later – her pop quizzes were hell on earth. Besides, their biotic classmate who had more or less saved their collective asses would still be there, suffering with them through the worst of med school. In a weird way, that was a comfort.

But, seriously. No wonder he was so calm in class – the guy had shot a fucking Reaper in the face and lived to talk about it.

#n7 month #ramblinganthropologist's writing #Alistair Shepard #Bo Peep Shepard #and then they went and got lunch #Well they probably went back to Al's apartment and cleaned up first they were sweaty and gross #Bo got the shower first she's a guest

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of-thoughts-and-phobias · 5 years ago

Text

Of Thoughts And Phobias

Part 4: Under Wraps

Edited by @a-faithful-fanartist

First : Prev

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"Robin!" Sean cheered when he came through the door.

"Hey hey!" He dropped his bag on the floor and brought Sean into a hug.

"Haha, welcome to the mess. How was the trip, man?"

"Ugh, don't get me started. Seems like anything that could've gone wrong did at the same time. It's like something didn't want me to come here or something."

He tiredly walked over to the couch, Sean making sure to stay in between him and the shattered counter.

"Just don't wake me up and we'll be fine," he said, flopping face-first on the couch.

"Y'good man?"

A muffled confirmation came from the cushions closely followed by snoring.

"Been a long day for both of us, I guess."

Sean grabbed a pillow and blanket from the closet and carefully draped it over him.

"Goodnight, dude," he sighed, switching off the lights.

He swapped into some pajamas and fell onto his bed. It was impossible trying to get comfortable. His mind was just so active and awake that even blinking was a traitorous act. His brain was shouting at him all the possibilities of what was happening to him. He couldn't hide for long. He knew that. There was no way that this would end well. He groaned.

Sleep didn't come for a while.

Waking up felt even harder than falling asleep. He struggled to keep his eyes opened as he felt around for his phone.

He fell ungracefully out of bed and landed with an "oomf".

As he got up, he saw a quick flash of bright red from under his bed. He didn't want to think about it.

He was interrupted by a loud snore coming from the other room. He forgot he wasn't alone. Sean poked his head out into the living room to find a bundled- up figure on the couch, snoring loudly. Only his feet and hair were visible. He chuckled and went back to his room to get ready.

Getting dressed was a chore when running on a few hours of sleep, but Sean pushed past it. He fixed his hair, brushed his teeth, and went to check on Robin again.

"So I was thinking we could start by recording-" He walked into the living room to be greeted by a Robin who was still out cold.

"Uh. Hello?" He tried.

"Earth to Pixlpit? Roooooobiin, come 'ooon man. We have thiiiings to do," nothing.

"Geez," he backed off into the kitchen, where he remembered his shopping list. He had forgotten all about it and yep, the only thing he could find food wise was the junk in the fridge and an old box of spaghetti noodles.

"Whoops," he said. That won't do.

He snatched a sheet of printer paper and a sharpie and scribbled down a note for Robin when he woke up. After grabbing his phone and placing the note lovingly on Robin's face, Sean left once more.

It only took him about an hour to get groceries and come back. Robin was up by the time he came back, sitting at the table.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty! How was the couch?"

Robin chuckled.

"It was fine, but I woke up with this hanging out of my mouth," he held up the note.

"Had to put it somewhere you could see it," he shrugged slyly, slacking the grocery bags off his arms. He turned on the coffee maker and started to put the food away.

"So, I was thinking we could start with the Reading Your Comments and then go into the challenge vids," Sean explained, pulling out eggs and milk to put in the fridge.

"And tomorrow we can get some playthroughs done before we get started on editing," Robin added from behind his mug.

"Exactly. Sorry about the lack of food, want me to whip something up before we get started?"

"That sounds awesome," he laughed.

Everything was alright.

He smashed a few eggs unexpectedly and startled Robin by cracking the counter a bit when he accidentally gripped it too hard, but it was nothing he couldn't brush off.

It's fine.

Spending time with Robin almost made Sean forget about everything. It all just seemed to fade back into reality after he fell through crazy town. Recording felt... normal. And he needed that. He needed something ordinary.

That left the two of them walking down town to a cafe that Sean had recommended. They had gotten quite a lot of work done and decided to take a lunch break.

"No way," he continued, "there is no way the remake was better than the original."

“I’m telling you man! The plot line was more realistic and they fixed multiple plot holes in it!” Sean followed alongside him. The door dinged behind them.

“There was nothing wrong with the plot, you just couldn’t wrap your small head around it!”

Sean gasped dramatically.

“Insulted. By my best friend! For shame, Robin, for shame.”

They both laughed and sat down at a booth.

It was a nice place, quiet and homey, and it always smelled like coffee and chips. Relaxed chatter from other customers filled the room. Music played overhead and the TV in the corner murmured away about sports, and it all blended together into a pleasant white noise.

“Wait ‘till you try the bread, man. They make it from scratch!”

“Is that why we walked five blocks to get here?” Robin laughed again.

“Yes,” he deadpanned.

They continued talking until their food came.

"Thank you, miss. Oh, more chips, please?" Sean asked as the waitress walked away.

He dove into the fresh batch of chips.

It took him a moment to realize that Robin had stopped talking. He looked up and saw him staring back with a concerned look.

"What's wrong?" He tried.

"Dude are you alright? That's the sixth plate of chips you've ordered."

Oh. He didn't realize. He vaguely recalled something similar happening the other day at the pizza restaurant. Did it have something to do with his new.. predicament? Probably, seeing as he was still hungry.

"Um, told ya?" Robin furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Best chips in town!" He laughed nervously.

"Right. Maybe next time you'll actually let me try some," he was smiling but the worry was still visible in his eyes.

"You'll just have to beat me to it!"

Stupid.

They continued to eat in silence until the waitress brought them a check.

"Let me," said Robin, "you've al--"

Sean knew Robin was talking but he couldn't hear him. His eyes were attached to the screen nearest to them. It was a news reporter, discussing reports on stuff that happened throughout the day. But the video that was playing in the corner...

Oh no.

"It really is an odd sight," the reporter stated, "This anonymous clip shows what appears to be a bolt of green lightning flashing in the sky. The same lighting was also spotted a second time not long after, a few miles away. That's not the weirdest part, though. If you pay attention, it almost sounds like someone screaming.-"

The TV was turned down as to not interrupt the patrons but Sean heard it clear as day.

They found him.

"Some call it a joke, just a gag someone sent us to get on the news. Others say that the footage shown is real, unmodified and definitely something to be wary of. What are your thoughts, Jim?"

It switched to another anchorman, appearing next to the videos.

The clips shown showed a bright flash in the sky, appearing above an airplane. It disappeared shortly after that.

Oh no no no.

"Well I don't know about you, but I think they look very convincing-"

No, no no no no no no no no-

"Sean!"

He snapped back. Robin was looking at him, concern all over his face. He swallowed down the knot in his throat.

"You good, man? You zoned out pretty hard there. What're you even looking at?" He started turning around. Sean quickly grabbed his arm, forcing him back.

"No," he whispered.

Robin shook his arm out of his grip. "Why? what's wrong, my hair messed up or something?"

"Don't," he tried again. "Please." Why did everything have to be so loud? Tears pulled at his eyes.

"Can we go home?"

Robin nodded knowingly. "Yeah man, let's get you home."

Sean was silent on the walk back. Robin didn't think to mention it.

Sean fell down face first onto the couch.

"Oomph."

Robin pushed his legs off so he could sit down instead. He tapped Sean on the shoulder.

"Hey, are you feeling better?"

A muffled noise came from the cushions, then Sean pushed himself up so he was sitting too.

"Yeah. I.. sorry," he sighed.

"No no," Robin interrupted. "It's normal dude, it looked like it was just an anxiety attack. Those aren't a joke."

Sean nodded slightly. "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He tried.

"No, Robin," he grumbled "I'm fine. 'S just anxiety, I'm fine."

He got up from the couch and started towards his room.

"Sorry. I think I'll just take a nap or something. You alright with that?"

Robin sighed.

"You know where to find me man."

"Thanks Robin."

"Any time."

Sean closed the door behind him and fell down against it. Small bursts of light shakily pulsated all down his arms. He decided to focus on that instead.

He wasn't even sure why he was panicking. Sure they *caught* him on camera but they didn't *know* that it was him. He watched the neon colors trickle down his arms like water. What would he do if they did find out? What would he do if Robin did? He didn't want to think about it. But what if?

Losing it won't do anything, Sean, he told himself. You need to calm down.

He inhaled deeply, filling his lungs completely before exhaling.

In.

And out.

In.

And out.

Come on, Jackieboy, you got this.

He stayed there for a while, contemplating whether he should get up to go to bed. The thought was interrupted by the bright red peeking out from under his bed.

He could hear Robin outside furiously working on his laptop. Knowing him, he wouldn't move for hours.

He supposed sleep could wait.

Taglist

@septilover3 @obsidiancreates @cookiethedevil @chains-that-bind-this-roulette-of-mine

@caori-azarath @tinykitty252 @reverseblackholeofwords @fairyofsomething

Ask to be tagged!

That wraps up the prologue!! Three years in the making and we're finally getting to the good stuff! Buckle up, bitches it's only getting worse from here!

#official story #otap #of thoughts and phobias #jackieboy man #jacksepticegos #jacksepticeye #writing #tw anxeity

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

Text

Survey #216

“cocaine in a crucifix, say your prayers, take your licks.”

How much money is in your wallet right now? Not a lot. Maybe like $10. What’s the last thing you purchased from the store? Me myself? No idea. Have you ever seen the movie Mean Girls? If so, did you think it was funny? Yeah, it's a nice movie. What do you usually get on your sub at Subway? Ham, American cheese, bacon, banana peppers, pickles, and Chipotle sauce. I think that's it. Is your bed made right now? Do you usually make your bed, or does someone make it for you? I'm in my bed. I always am. Have you ever had a crush of one of your friends�� brothers/sisters? No. Do you take naps often? I take one most days. Are you an only child? If not, do you get annoyed by your siblings a lot? No, and they don't annoy me, but then again, I live with none of them. What’s your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. Does it take you a while to fall asleep? Ugh. Too long. Do you watch TV before you go to sleep? No. Do you listen to music every day? It's very rare I don't. If you could have ANYTHING in the world right now, what would it be? To be satisfied with where I am in life. Do you still watch Spongebob Squarepants? No. I don't not enjoy it, you know I just don't watch television. What kind of bottled water do you drink? Mom buys big jugs of some Great Value-esque or whatever brand. Do you collect stuff someone else would consider junk? If so, then what? No. What's the most your electricity bill has ever reached? Idk, I don't pay it. How much was your tax refund this year or did you pay? N/A How are the kids doing? I don't have any. Do you see a bright light at the end of your tunnel? Just being realistic, not deliberately depressing or anything, I don't know. I could have a very dull and unsuccessful life or a thriving and happy one. What's the most you’ve ever lost gambling? Don't gamble. Have you ever waited in line overnight for something? No. How many concerts have you attended? One. Do you think having an expensive phone is a good investment? To a certain high price, no. So long you can call and text easily and reliably, I don't find it necessary to buy a $500 or whatever phone. Any tattoos? How many do you need or want to cover up? I have six. I'm getting my "ohana" one covered at some point, and I'm going to have "perfectly flawed" tatted over as well; I just want to move it elsewhere, considering I want something else where it already is. How many funerals have you attended? One or two. Have you lost anyone your age to death? No one that I was especially close to, thankfully. Have you ever witnessed a birth in person? Not a human one, thank Christ. I've seen cats give birth many times, and maybe other animals, but I'm not sure. What gender do you identify with? Female. What’s your opinion on astrology? It's total, ridiculous bullshit. Are you more of a science or math person? I'm clueless in math, while science makes sense to me and is far more interesting. What religion/spirituality do you identify with, if any? Theism. I think something made the universe, but I don't pretend to know jackshit about him/her/them/it. What is your opinion on peanut butter & banana sandwiches? I like them every now and again. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? The Outsiders, probably. Do you like the movie or the book better? This was so long ago that I honestly don't remember either well... so I really dunno. If you identify as a girl, would you ever consider getting a pixie cut? Yeah. If you identify as a boy, would you ever consider growing your hair out? N/A Are you a metalhead? I guess I mostly fit the definition, but I don't like labeling myself as such considering honestly, the metalhead community tends to have such a "that's not heavy enough" attitude and ridicule anything less than their interests and treat those that like softer metal as outcasts and/or posers. Not even trying to stereotype; befriend or observe people in this category and you'll see what I mean. Do you even listen to metal? Hell yes. Do you watch porn? No. If you don’t, do you have a moral reasoning behind that decision? I just find it... very strange. I don't see the appeal of watching. That's just something I want between me and my partner, you know? Like if you watch it, good for you, so long your s/o (if applicable) is aware and fine with it, but it ain't for me. Do you know anybody who is a Wiccan or Pagan? Yesssss, she's cool as fuck. I need to reconnect with her more. Do/did you ever attend church regularly? I did as a kid. Do you have a godmother/godfather/both? I have no clue. Do you listen to Supertramp? I have no clue who that is. Do you watch Supernatural? Not anymore. I think I stopped at the end of Season 6. What’s your favorite character in your favorite TV show? That '70s Show, probably Hyde. I love and relate to Eric, though. Honestly I love every single character; they're very unique to each other and recognizable with strong personalities. Both Fullmetal Alchemist iterations, most likely Edward. Or possibly one of the Sins, but I don't remember them all well... Oh. I know I loved Envy, for one. Are you wearing any rings right now? Yeah, my Supernatural friendship ring w/ Sara. Calling each other "bitch"/"jerk" between Sam and Dean is a thing in the show, so I have one that says "bitch" on the interior, and Sara has "jerk." Bracelets? Yes, also the one Sara gave me. Necklaces? No. Anklets? No. Chokers/collars? No. Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? No. Are you diabetic? No. I'm forever proud of that considering it runs heavily in my family, yet even at my worst weight, I didn't develop it. But more importantly, a recent blood test I had for my thyroid or something showed I don't have any indicators of even coming close/being at any risk at this point in time. Are you allergic to gluten? No. Are you lactose intolerant? No. What is your favorite fruit? Strawberries, yum. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you live with your parents? I live with my mom. Have you written a formal essay lately? Not in years. How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? I don't have a resume currently, but if I did, it'd only have two months as a sales associate as my other two jobs were so short-lived it'd be stupid to add, especially when you consider the obvious fact that would make me look awful. How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? A year. What happened last time you got drunk? N/A When’s the last time you straightened your hair? I have zero clue. Do you bite your toe nails? Wtf no. Last time you laughed your head off? Idr. Do you find piercings attractive? Yeah. Did you accept or reject your last friend request? I rejected it. Had no clue who it was, even though we had quite a handful of mutuals. How many cigarettes have you smoked today? N/A Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? It depends on what the subject of the matter is. Do you like potato chips? Is there a human that doesn't???? Do you give out second chances way too easily? Yes. Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Not all night, no. There was one night Jason and I were up a long time talking, but it wasn't all night. What are you excited for? SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever shoplifted? No. If you have shoplifted, are you afraid of getting in trouble? And are you afraid to go back in that store? N/A Have you ever gotten caught shoplifting? If yes, what happened? N/A Have you ever plotted revenge against someone? No. Are you mad at someone right now? Nah. Have you ever egged someone’s house? Fuck no, because I'm not a dick. If not, have you ever WANTED to egg someone’s house? No. Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I was fucking psychotic when I found out Jason was in a new relationship after we broke up. For a long time I wanted her dead. Are you glad you don’t own a gun, because of what you might do with it? Quite honestly, yes. I'm impulsive on bad days, and I don't entirely cross out the possibility of me shooting myself on an awful day. Do you avoid people when they’ve hurt you? Yes. Do you make the most of every opportunity? No. Are you honestly succeeding at life, or failing? Failing miserably at most things. What does your newest journal look like? I don't remember the last time I got a journal. Is there anything you currently want but can’t have? A lot of things. Do you have no one you can trust? No, thankfully. Do you like meatball subs? No, they're so messy. Are you severely sleep deprived? No. What music are you listening to? "LA Devotee" by P!ATD just came on. If you go to school (HS or college), does your school have a rival? N/A What’s your school’s mascot? N/A If you have a sib, do you call him/her “brother” or “sister” sometimes? No. Do you own a Wii? If not, do you want one? Yes. Are there any songs you could just listen to over and over and over? No. I get tired of a song after around 100 repeats. No, I'm not kidding. Before you could loop YT vids (or anyway, before I was aware), I used a website that repeated the video for you and kept track of the repeats. Do you have a favorite basketball team (NBA or college?) No. Have you been baptized in any religious tradition? Yes. If your best male friend got a mohawk, would he look good or ridiculous? Save Him. What did you have for breakfast? A PopTart. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken a shot. Have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? Yeah, but we were dating. Who last slept in your bed besides you? Sara. If the last person you had sex with asked you to date them, would you? No. What color is your car? (Or the one you drive most often) White. How long have you been single? (Or dating your current interest) Sara and I have been together a year and ten months. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah. Do you own any books written by musicians? Yeah, Ozzy's autobiography. What is your most interesting invention? Probably some RP characters. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Once. Have you ever thought about getting your tongue pierced? It is pierced. When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? N/A yet. Do you like your phone? NO. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Bitch hell no. Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? The woman who adopted Kaiju. I miss him, damn. Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? No. Do you know a James? I knew one years ago. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? British. It sounds sophisticated and just generally attractive to me. Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? I don't and never have. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yeah. Have you ever owned an Axolotl? No, but they cute. What has been the longest amount of time you’ve spent on a plane? I actually don't know. Probably just around two hours. How often do you use Snapchat? I don't have one/never had. Have you ever adopted an animal from an animal shelter? Yes. Where do you usually find surveys from? Tumblr, and if I'm desperate, LiveJournal. Have you ever missed a flight? Yep. The airport biz took WAY longer than any of us expected. What is your favorite film from your childhood? The Lion King. I think it's always been my fave, honestly, I just never really thought about JUST HOW MUCH I love the film and its story since I was a kid. Do you know anyone who is named after a state? Uhhh I know at least one Caroline, and that's close enough? Jason's mom's name is a state, too. What was the reason for your previous doctor’s visit? I was getting a full blood panel done to check my thyroid. Have you ever been to an outdoor cinema? No. Well, my elementary school and church used to do these "movies on the lawn" type things where they used a huge projector to play a movie outside around late evening, but I don't know if that counts. Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? N/A How often do you use Instagram? I usually check it once a day or two to follow certain celebs' stories 'n shit. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? If so, do you still smoke? No. Adam Sandler or Jim Carrey? Jim. Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? If so, what is your favorite? Y'all know I love me some conspiracies. My favorite - as in most interesting, not that I seriously believe in it - is the one that our current reality is just a simulation from a "future" civilization for study or just play purposes. It's interesting to think about with alarming evidence. Elon Musk 100% believing in it puts more "hey this might actually be worth considering" into it, but I think I lean more towards it being false. It's not something I think about much though as I have THE most Detroit: Become Human mindset about it ever, lmao. It just doesn't matter to me. Wow, what a ramble. Do you find hand tattoos attractive on your preferred sex? I find tattoos (usually) attractive in general, so like- What is your favorite Netflix original series? I have no clue what's Netflix-exclusive. I don't watch it. Have you ever owned a Tamagotchi? Yep, or at least something similar to it. My sister especially loved those little things. Do you have a favorite “survey blog” on Tumblr? If so, who? Dunno if tagging random people in surveys is annoying, so I'll break the link, but @/thedarkeststarsurveys seems super cool and nice. Would you rather be able to control fire or water? Probably fire for self-defense purposes, and I just like fire. Water seems... overall pretty useless to control, unless you can like, manifest it. Then you could solve a world of problems. Have you ever used your phone in class or at work without anyone knowing? Actually no. Have you ever been to Canada? No. What is your favorite condiment to put on fries? Ketchup. Do any famous people follow you on Twitter or Instagram? Definitely not to my knowledge, but I highly doubt it. Do you usually take the stairs or the elevator? Elevator. Even though I'm scared of them. Stairs and my horrible knees don't mix. What salads do you usually get on your Subway order? None. Have you ever made your own cocktails at home? Not myself. My old friend did. Have you seen all the Star Wars films? I watched the first three disinterestedly with Girt once, and neither of us liked them. I didn't get the appeal at all. Do you own any shirts with funny words or pictures on them? Yeah. Are your eyes the same color they were when you were a baby? They were more blue. Do you take the pickle off your burgers? No. Who do you share your bathroom with? Anyone else in the house. What color is your bed frame? Brown. Have you ever kissed someone you met that day? No. Do you share a bed with anyone? No. Well, excluding Roman and sometimes Teddy. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. My mom. When a car cuts you off, is the driver a jerk or is there an explanation? "Most of the time the driver is a jerk." <<< Yep. What are your thoughts on cosmetic surgery? You do you, boo. Has a man/woman ever broke your heart? If so, have you recovered? Yes, and yes as well as a PTSD victim can; your brain is literally changed after trauma, and considering I still have dreams/nightmares about him very regularly and he suddenly crosses my mind literally every single day despite never wanting to think about him, I don't think you could consider me totally recovered. Name a few things that make you really happy. Really happy? Being with Sara, Mark doing so much as blinking, long car rides with my music blaring way too loud, finding a new song and binging it for hours, a mount dropping in WoW goddamn y'all I have over 300, being complimented on my photography (or like... anything), my niece and/or nephew saying they love me or anything along those lines without being prompted (ex. when leaving, that kinda stuff), going to Olive Garden 'cuz breadsticks and spicy shrimp fritas lol, finishing a drawing and actually liking the result, getting Venus out and she acts like a cuddlebug the whole time, uh... other stuff that isn't coming to me. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried it, don't want to. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Too many times fuck but those days done fam. Do you take birth control pills? Currently for taming the pain and symptoms of my cycle, but it's hopefully changing to a longer, better solution soon to just totally eliminate it to remove its effects on my mood entirely for mental health tracking purposes. When’s the last time you got a new outfit? I don't buy full outfits. Do you have an imaginary best friend? (i.e., someone you wish was your best friend but currently isn’t) No. Do you like soy sauce? NO. Do you have a good doctor? I haven't had her long, but she's nice and seems knowledgeable. What’s your favorite store to browse around? Whew, Hot Topic my friends. Do you ever meditate on Scripture? No. Do you like poetry? Yeah. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend had? Dawson. Do you have expensive tastes? Definitely not. What is your dream job? Meerkat biologist or paleontologist. What is your favorite music style currently? I've been digging power metal a lot lately. I like, live off of Powerwolf. I've been wanting to find more symphonic metal I enjoy, too... Are you wearing comfortable clothes right now? Yeah. Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? Yeah, rather just keep it quiet. Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your home town? Fuck. No. When is the last time you went to a fun fair? ~August 2015. I remember it because it happened pretty shortly before the breakup. How about an amusement park? I have zero clue. Probably not since I went to Disney World as a child. Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? If I'm with a woman, yes. I don't really have a proper reason why I wouldn't if I was with a man... I have NO problem with women proposing to men, I just think I'd personally feel weird. Oh, that makes sense; the fact of how I am with men - scared and doubtful - probably says a good deal. I'd want to see "oh wow he actually wants to be with me so much he's asking himself." Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to? N/A Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy? No. If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best? N/A Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to? "Tbh right now I’m not really in a position to help anyone out financially. But hypothetically if I had the money to do so, some celebrity’s opinion wouldn’t matter." <<< This. When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Pretty much always. I don't tend to try new foods. Or do you always try out something new? ^ No. Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home? Holy fuck, the latter. Living next to a school, esp. elementary, might even be a deal-breaker as far as buying a house goes. I'm not dealing with the noise and traffic. What was the last game that you played? I'm "playing" World of Warcraft currently, waiting for a stupid dinosaur to spawn to be denied a mount again. :^) What do you know about Finland? Nothing. Where was the postcard from that traveled the longest way to you? I don't think I've ever gotten a postcard. Have you ever made jewelry? Besides like those bead, "friendship," and plastic bracelets that were popular in the early 2000s, no. Which app do you use the most on your phone? Uhhhh I think Facebook? I don't use apps much. Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one? Recorders in elementary school and then flute in middle school-junior year in high school. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Mark uploading cries. What’s your dad’s hair color? It's almost entirely gray now, but it's naturally black. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, I think. Surprisingly. Do you bite your lips a lot? My bottom one, occasionally. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? For less than a day. Did you donate to Haiti? No. I've never had a source of stable income. Are your parents rich? BITCH- What’s your mom’s job? She's a pharmacy tech. Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes. In the middle of my 1st grade class lmaaaoooo. Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? Nope. What reality show would you like to be in? None. What TV show makes you laugh? Most consistently, That '70s Show. Doesn't matter that I've seen I think every episode multiple times, I still laugh so easily at it. Family Feud gets me good too, if it's Steve Harvey hosting it. Have you ever heard of Joe Purdy? If so, do you like his music? Never heard of 'im. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Probably Johnny Got His Gun. Would you ever wear real fur? Fuck no. Who do you envy and why? Successful people. Because I'm the polar opposite. What color is the house you live in? Khaki. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Probablyyyy... Shannen. She is phenomenal at photography and already employed in NY with a fashion company for it. I am unbelievably envious of her, too, but also very happy. She deserves it. Do you have a favorite cousin? No. I rarely ever see my cousins, and if I do, it's usually just two. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? I've never gotten a "bad" gift. I appreciate the thought behind anything. Like I've gotten things entirely unrelated to me, but I still appreciate them. Who was it from? N/A Who is your favorite author? Don't have one. Do you shave your arms? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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pinkykitten · 6 years ago

Text

Dancing Mission

Detroit: Become Human

Connor x female! reader

Warning: cussing, a sex offender dude, some blood

Specifics: comedy, violence, fluff, romance, man vs man, dancing, women power, race neutral reader

People: Connor, you, Hank Anderson, Devin James (oc), Carl Hunter (oc), Markus (mentioned)

Words: 2,993

Summary: You a cop as well, work with Hank and Connor to take down a man named Devin James. What you don’t know is you have to go undercover in a club. You end up dancing with Connor.

Authors Note: i know is suck at summaries, im so used to just gettin the frickin request and just copy and paste u know. but omg i think i am in luv with this story. this is prob now one of my fav stories i have done. i have watched all of dbh on jacksepticeyes channel (lol im too cheap y’all) and it is one of my fav games. my sis luvs connor to pieces as do i (cuz he luvs dogs duh) so this is for her. i’ve wanted to write a dbh fic for the longest time so here it is. i really want to write more so pls request more of this and feedback is much appreciated here.

“-so that means that we have to act natural like one of them,” Hank explained while driving to the destination.

You, sitting in the back of the car thought about this mission. You have worked with Hank for a couple of months, you’re both practically friends. Maybe even BEST FRIENDS (lol idk why i feel like this sentence would sound like spongebobs voice. well it kinda makes sense since the dude who plays hank plays mr krabs...anyways)

The goal was to arrest a man named Devin James. Supposedly, he has been keeping deviants for about 2 years. He sells them for quite a lot of cash to those who want to “fix” them. Your expression turned into sadness when you read his file. You understood what he did to these deviants. He would lock them up, abuse, torture them, and then sell them to others. But not so they can be fixed its so the buyers can torture the deviants more.

Unfortunately, you knew why he needed to be arrested. It was not because he was doing these things to the androids. It is because he is selling deviants. In your mind however, you saw this as a rescue mission. To make sure those deviants get out, even if it kills you.

Your group came into contact with him. Devin was now currently, in a club called “Pomegranate”.

“Weird name for a club,” you laughed looking outside the window. It was midnight, the night sky pitch black. There was tiny drops of rain pattering against the glass.

“Maybe it is called Pomegranate because when a woman opens up her legs-”

“Shhhh Connor! There is a woman seated in the back!” You called out, your eyes widened in surprise that Connor knew those types of things. You scratched your nose and wiggled your eyebrows, “Hank, you gotta be careful with this one. Apparently he’s either been too much into fanfiction or hentai to know those types of facts.”

Hank looked into the rear view mirror, “In a minute y/n I’m gonna throw your as* outside this car into the pouring rain! Now can we talk about the dam* arrest!”

You shrugged and laid back muttering, “It was your baby Connor’s fault.”

Hank gave you a glare through the mirror. Any words that were about to come out of your mouth were quickly swallowed down.

The car stopped and you jumped out.

“Alright, remember what I said act. Natural. This guys good, he has ran away from the police many, many, many times. So we need to make sure that he doesn’t know that we’re cops,” Hank instructed slamming his car door.

You nodded, “Right, right, right. But let me ask you this Hank from “Finding Dory” how the hel* is Mr. Roboto here gonna oh I don’t know...blend in. When he’s a fuc*in android!”

“I also see no way out of this Lieutenant Anderson,” Connor added.

Hank rolled his eyes at you and opened his trunk, “I was gonna get to that, y/n! Disguises.”

You peered into the trunk to see a plain tux, a bedazzled 80s suit (which of course you knew to be for Hank), and a dress.

“Connor you wear this tux, and you y/n, wear this dress.”

Connor eyed the tux that was handed to him weirdly, and you groaned at the dress.

“I do not think I can do this. It is not in my making to change my outfit-”

“Well, what about me! I mean it is in my making to change but like...I DON’T WANNA,” you interrupted Connor, making him blink like “what just happened.”

Hank closed the trunk and locked his car, “No if, ands, or buts. Go to the restrooms and put them on.”

You heaved a heavy sigh, “Ugh! I have my stupid period and now I have to wear this dumb dress,” you grumbled as you trudged inside the club.

“Keep an eye out for y/n, okay Connor,” Hank said as he walked inside.

Dua Lipa & Calvin Harris - One Kiss (i feel like this song would be played like at a disco club or something. i luv this song and always want to jam to this. this song is playing in the club)

Connor was changed into his tuxedo and Hank was in his suit.

“I’m gonna head over there, see if I can find him. You-,” Connor and Hank looked up to see you come out of the bathroom.

(omg i can so imagine this the chorus comes on or in this vid 1:02) You dolled yourself to look like a million bucks. Make up on and hoop earrings. “You guys ready?”

If you hadn’t known any better you would have thought they got a boner because of you.

“Y/n,” Connor whispered, mesmerized by your look. The dress clung on to all the right places.

“Jesus y/n, look at you. Connor close your mouth,” Hank chuckled. “Alright I’m gonna go over there see you guys in a few if you haven’t got any leads. Let me know if you spot him though, alright? Good!” Hank left.

You walked well more like almost tripped with the 9-inch heels. “You go by the exits, Connor. And I’ll take the bar.” You pushed your boobs up (if u aint got titties dont worry u added some padding then, every boob counts👍) , “Okay ladies...do your job.”

You swayed to the bar, trying to entice a man like Devin. Instead, Connor looked with big, wide, eyes. “I swear I haven’t even had a dic* bigger than 9-inches. How do you expect me to walk in these Hank?!?” You grumbled aloud to yourself.

“Excuse me, baby but you are sure lookin fine,” a tall man growled as he grabbed a handful of your butt.

You rose your brow and tried not to punch him in the balls. “Do not blow you’re cover y/n,” you thought to yourself.

“Hey, give her an old fashioned,” the man ordered the bar tender.

You nodded and smacked your lips together, “oh, okay, so you want me to be drunk as hel*. I gotcha.”

The man laughed and licked his lips, “Thats funny. This drink will make you grow chest hair, that is for sure.”

The bartender gave you the drink. You coughed, and prepared yourself to be drunk in this mission. You chugged the liquid down. The whiskey burning your throat. It all slid south and you put the glass down harshly. “Baby, know that women got hair all over.” You raised your arms up and showed your armpits. Hey, you haven’t shaved in a while. You a busy gal. (if u think that this is nasty u better get off this blog right now)

“Dam* girl, you for real though,” the guy sat down on the bar stools. Eyeing your whole body.

“I don’t sugar coat. Anyways, whats your name?”

“Carl, Carl Hunter. You?”

“Y/n, L/n.”

“Hey, bartender can she just have a light sangria.”

You pulled your dress down in order to sit on the bar stool. In the process, you put your purse down on the floor, in between your legs.

You then put your attention to Carl again and saw your drink was waiting for you.

“Why thank you, Carl. I think I’m not gonna drink anymore than this so here,” you handed the bartender, “is the cash.”

Carl stepped in and forced your hand down. “Baby, I got this. My mama always taught me how to be a gentleman. I will pay for this.”

You knitted your eyebrows together, “Are you sure?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

You grinned and stroked his arm. He winked at you. As he was paying the bartender you took out a device called “pd.id”. It shows if your drink has been spiked.

“Pric*,” you muttered. You brought out your handcuffs out and handcuffed him to the stool.

“Hey, what the fuc* you think you doin?”

“I am saving women, pig! Trying to drug my drink huh? Thought it could get past me? You are dead wrong, and your name was Carl Hunte?” You wrote it on your hand. “Got it, thanks Carl for buying my drinks. Hope you like prison.” You poured the sangria all over his head and walked to Connor.

“Have you found him yet y/n?” Connor was by the dance floor.

“Nope, but I found a disgusting sex offender. So still kinda saved the day,” you sighed, placing your hands on your hips.

You phoned Hank who was...somewhere. “Where you at Hank?”

“I’ve asked around to see if someone knows him or if they’ve sighted him. But everyone around here acts like dumbas*es. You got anything?”

You snickered, “Nada, hey I’ll make this bet. Whoever gets Devin first gets their drink paid by the loser.” Your eyebrows rose as you looked to Connor who looked at you with puppy, innocent eyes. “And Connor can have some...blood...”

Connor smiled and looked away.

You could hear Hank on the other side chuckling, “Okay y/n...you’re on. Have fun...LOSER!” Then Hank hanged up the call.

“As*,” you laughed.

You then saw the dance floor and people were dancing all over. It was as if a light bulb went off in your brain. “I have an idea,” you said aloud.

You grabbed onto Connor’s hand and guided him with a sway of your hips to the dance floor.

“Have I ever told you I love this song,” you grinned. Your feet stepping to the beat. Connor just stood like a plank of wood. Just mesmerized by your moves.

“One kiss is all it takes, fallin in love with me,” you sang, goofing off also by doing the underwater dance. “C’mon Connor join me.”

Connor’s mouth was open wide, “Oh, um, um, I do not think dancing is in my program.”

You brought your hands on Connor’s shoulders, and your body bent and stretched all over. “I’ll teach you robo boy,” you winked.

Connor’s cheeks created a blue blush, he was a lost for words. His eyes were glued to your eyes. Drinking everything in.

“You move like this, put your hands here,” you said while placing Connor’s hands on your hips. “Now just feel the beat, the rhythm, be one with the song.”

Connor stumbled a bit, but then he got the hang of it. “I, I think I am doing it y/n.”

“See! There you go!”

You both moved together so perfectly. Like trees swaying in the wind. Like a river. Your hands traveled all over Connor and he developed an even deeper blush.

You then let go of him and danced by yourself. He studied your dancing for a while then he danced by himself.

look up on youtube Bryan Dechart dancing as Connor

Finally, Connor was being...Connor. He was being himself. He was proving to the world that androids are not just things, they are living and they deserve to be free.

“Oh my god, YES CONNOR! GO CONNOR! Woooohooooo!!!!!,” you cheered jumping up and down.

You both danced then like animals. Shaking not caring if you both looked like two goofballs. The dance floor was empty so it was just the two of you. You did the sprinkler dance. Connor then started laughing and smiling from ear to ear.

“Yeah, go y/n, go y/n,” Connor cheered as well.

You heard the song was almost to the end. Your body twirled to Connor’s body until you both were almost glued together.

“You are extremely beautiful...y/n...,” Connor whispered only so you and him could hear.

“And you Connor are important to me,” you whispered to him. You both were closing the gap between you two, your lips almost meeting.

“Guys, I found Devin,” Hank yelled to you both as he appeared before you two. “Oh, um, am I disturbing something?”

“You found him,” you questioned as Hank ran ahead. You broke contact with Connor and gave him a guilty face. You stepped off the dance floor and brought your gun out of your thigh holster, following Hank, with Connor behind you.

You sprinted to the commotion of people now screaming since smart pants Devin tried to shoot you guys. You tried to see him over the sea of people.

“I spot him,” you shouted, not caring of the protests of Hank and Connor. “Don’t worry guys I got this!”

You ran after Devin, stumbling a few times from the dumb heels. You look down, “Dam* heels!” While going after this man, you take the heels off and throw them at him (kinda like Nakia from Black Panther). He screams in pain but doesn’t stop. He jumps over boxes of booze from the club and you do the same. You chase him out of the club, going in the street.

“GET DOWN NOW,” you scream at him. “If you do not stop I will shoot!”

The man kept going until you shook your head, breathed hard a couple of times, you sped, fast after him. It was if you were possessed by Usain Bolt. You caught up to him, your dress ripped by your legs. You pounced on Devin, putting his arms behind his back in a death grip. “PUT THE GUN DOWN, NOW!”

Devin, breathing harshly, threw the gun away from you both. “Owww you’re hurting me,” he whined.

“Good,” you sassed back, picking him up harshly. More in the light you can see where the end of your heel hit the side of his head. You tried not to laugh, muffling your giggles.

You picked up the gun and walked back to Hank and Connor who were not far from you.

“That was very impressive,” Connor smirked while winking like you did.

“...am I missing something here,” Hank eyed both of you.

You gave a lopsided grin, “Oh Hank, if only you knew...No, you’re missing your Devin. Here’s his gun and you owe me a drink...loser” You threw the gun to Hank and chuckled.

As Hank took a hold of Devin you went to his level to speak to him. “So Devin, where you hidin these deviants?”

“I won’t tell...cun*,” he hissed. You punched his face, your ring making a mark on his nose it also looking a little crooked, and blood coming out. Heh, marked twice by you.

“Y/n, can you please be a little more fuc*in professional, right Connor?” Hank asked Connor.

Connor shrugged, “I think that punch was needed.”

“Okay, I am definitely missing something,” Hank shouted.

You gripped Devin’s face, “You. Don’t. Talk. To. Women. Like. That. Understand? Now, again, where are the deviants?”

“In my warehouse, like 5 blocks from here.”

“Thank you,” you said professionally. You walked barefoot to the car, and waited for the boys.

“I have gotten you these,” Connor handed you a pair of flip flops. “I know it is not much, but I much prefer you walking in them then on the wet ground.”

You smiled and thanked him. Hank was driving to the warehouse that Devin talked about.

“I think this is it,” you called, looking out your window to see a rusty metal warehouse. The scene you walked on upon looked like it was taken from a 80s horror film. The lightning striking like a whip in the dark clouds. You brought your flashlight out. “Whelp boys, lets see what we find in here.”

You all walked inside. You were thankful you were out of the pouring rain, but now you were stuck in the cold metal warehouse. Shivering like a pair of rattled bones, you tried to cover your bare arms by hugging yourself.

“Here y/n, take this. I do not want you to get a cold,” Connor gently placed his tux jacket on your shoulder, leaving him in a tight white shirt with a black bow tie.

“Thanks...Connor,” you smiled, cuddling yourself in the jacket.

“I think we should all spread out. Just remember though, we’re dealing with deviants...be careful, all of you,” Hank said making his way to the right. Connor chose the left, while you, well didn’t choose but were stuck with the middle.

You tiptoed silently, trying not to make any noise. It was dark, and dusty. It was extremely hard for you not to erupt into a coughing fit. Suddenly, you heard a bang coming from the side of you. You jumped almost like a cat. You stood there, trying to do breathing exercises, and to try to steady your heart. Even though lets be real, your heart was not steady even to begin with this mission. Everything was thrown, antique chairs, a type writer, and pieces of a car hung from the ceiling. The dust particles traveled across the light from your flashlight. The dirt was all muddy since there were tiny holes in the roof. It smelled disgusting, like a farm.

“How could anyone live like this,” you spoke aloud, covering your nose with Connor’s jacket.

“Please, save us,” you heard from in front of you. You panicked and turned every which way, trying to find the source of that voice.

“We beg you save us. Let us be free.”

“Get us out of here.”

“We want to be free.”

“Is that our savior, Marcus?”

“Please, save us.”

“Please!”

Your flashlight then came upon the cells and cells of deviants. Some were all white having taking off their skin. Some were broken, missing limbs, missing an eye. Some were still freshly made new, just with a few tiny scratches. But they all had one thing in common. They were begging. Begging you to set them free. They were tired of living like this. Your heart saddened for them, why couldn’t androids be free? Why were they abused and slaughtered like this? It was not right. But what if you did let them all out? Would you loose the trust of Hank, or even worse Connor? Would you loose your job letting these deviants out secretly? There were only two choices,

were you going to leave the deviants?

or...were you going to let them out?

You had to decide...

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feynites · 7 years ago

Text

There is a new face in the cantina.

Not uncommon for a spaceport. Deearo takes note of this one, though, and for reason he cannot quite define. The noise of music and talk fills the air, as he peers out from behind the bar. His baba said he could play with his toys there, so long as he was quiet and did not disturb the patrons. He likes this spot. The shine from the back of the bar reflects the door, and lets him see the people who come in. And the cracks in the floor are good for lining up his toy soldiers, making ravines and treacherous quicksand for the intrepid fights to cross. Sometimes gusts from outside blow sand and dust his way, too. Sandstorms, he whispers, and hurries his toy soldiers behind the old model ship that Meero gave him to celebrate his last molting.

But the game is momentarily put aside, as Deearo stares at the reflection of the unfamiliar human. A woman? No, probably a man one, he decides. Even though he is wearing a skirt. There is something about him that looks… glow-y. Bright, like he has a piece of the desert in him. He sits where Deearo can still see him reflected in the glass, and orders a drink from his baba. His hood covers up most of his face, and gloves cover his hands, but somehow Deearo can tell there is machine in him, too. Like some of the space pilots, or the old people who get sick and need parts replaced. He stares, and his gaze flits to the reflection of one of the man’s hands.

There. Probably.

A lost hand… maybe he’s a soldier? Deearo picks up one of his toys, this one missing a hand, too, and goes back to playing for a while. Starting a new game about a battlefield hospital, that abruptly gets attacked by a giant when the old cleaning droid whirs up, and he has to scoop his soldiers into his lap to keep them from losing any more limbs to its rotating innards.

Then some of the customers start to get rowdy. But Baba taps the big blaster over the back of the bar, and they settle down again. Deearo is sent home after that, though, as the evening rush starts and more people trickle over from the docks. It’s not a long ways from the cantina to home. He makes his way across the street, and into the little sheltered hut. Past some of his quarreling hatchmates, down to the cool basement where their bunks all are. He dumps his toys onto his bed, and mostly forgets about the star-bright desert man, because he doesn’t know why he really even noticed him to begin with.

Baba comes home late that night. And the next day there is a family discussion between the adults. And then one where Deearo is called aside, and brought to sit up at the table, even though it’s not mealtime. Mama gives him a treat to snack on, which means he isn’t in trouble, at least. The adults exchange looks and then finally it is Baba who speaks.

“Deearo… there is a school,” Baba says. “A very far away school, for special children. Yesterday a man came to the cantina, to ask if you would be interested in attending this school. He thinks you would be a very good student for him to have.”

Deearo blinks.

School, he is familiar with. There is one in Mos Eisley, though it isn’t big, and only the richer children can afford the fees to attend it. Like most of his siblings, he takes classes on the holonet, that the Republic Network has started sending to the Outer Rim worlds. And he does chores and his parents teach him things, of course, but he has four hatchmates, and that is too many to pay all the schooling fees for.

“But I can’t go to school because school costs credits,” he reminds the adults, in case they have somehow forgotten.

“Well, this is a special school,” Baba tells him, again. Reaching over to brush a crumb away from his mandibles. “There is no cost of credits, because the only people who can attend it are ones who are sensitive to the Force. Like the Jedi. It is a Jedi school.”

Deearo blinks both sets of eyes, and stares up at all the family adults gathered around.

“But then why would I go?” he wonders. “Did the man make a mistake?”

What a mistake to make! Deearo hopes he is not angry.

“No, little clicker. The man did not make a mistake,” Mama says. “He is Luke Skywalker. The same from the holovids. And he says that you are touched by the Force. That you could be a Jedi, if you wanted. If you went to this school and learned how to harness the power inside of you.”

Deearo drops the rest of his snack in shock.

“What?” he chirps, his voice clicking at the edge of the word in a mixture of excitement and disbelief.

Him?

A Jedi?

“I thought Jedi were all humans!” he exclaims.

Mama laughs.

“No!” she says, in a tone that implies that she believed that, too. “Master Skywalker says that the Force runs through all living things, and the Jedi of old counted many species among their ranks, before the Empire destroyed them.”

Excitement bubbles up and over the shock and disbelief, until Deearo is practically vibrating in his carapace. Before he can get too ecstatic, however, Baba raises up a hand, and forces him to still. And looks him in the eye, until his clicking has stopped.

“Before you decide, you must understand. This school is very far away.”

Deearo calms, and the seriousness of the conversation becomes even more apparent.

“How far?” he wonders. “Is it in Anchorhead?”

Baba gestures ‘no’.

“It is on another world, little clicker. Master Skywalker says it would be months between visits. Maybe years, depending on how your training goes. You would have to leave us, little clicker, to go and learn how to be a Jedi. We could not come with you.”

That gives Deearo pause. No family? On a whole different planet? The prospect is so frightening, he nearly sinks into his carapace and goes in entirely the opposite direction. Mama scoops him into her lap, then, and Baba sighs, and goes and get the holovids, while Mama’s clutchmates talk about space travel and Cousin Meedro who has a ship. The rest of the morning is spent explaining to Deearo what all the school might entail, and what Jedi do. There are pictures of the school - which is a temple, too - and recordings of Master Skywalker explaining things.

“It would be your choice,” Baba says, firmly. “For you to decide, to go or stay. We cannot make that decision for you, even though it might be a hard one. To be a Jedi is a very big dream. But I do not think it is an easy one.”

Deearo nearly panics at the weight of the choice laid out before him. But Mama soothes him before he gets too far, and all the adults assure him that he has time to think things over. Master Skywalker has left Mos Eisley, and is coming back in a week, and he says Deearo can have a whole year to decide if he wants to. And if he goes to the school and changes his mind, Mama tells him, he can come home. No one will blame him.

But part of Deearo thinks he knows his choice, already. That he is upset not because he has to make it, but because that choice comes at a cost, and he is sad to pay it. He wishes his family could come with him. When he is released from the meeting, he even goes to the big console, that he and his clutchmates usually have lessons on. And he boots it up, and looks at more pictures of the school, and the students. None of them look like him, but most of them do look different from one another. Except the humans, which there are the most of. The vids say that visitors are allowed, but only at certain times. The months listed are not like the ones on Tatooine, so Deearo has to do lessons to figure out how much time is actually involved.

Lots, he finds.

But… but, there would be other students. And so much to learn. Jedi are charged with protecting people, and Deearo likes that idea very much. He wants to be soldier - or maybe now, he wanted to be a soldier. To join the Republic Guard and to be a brave hero. Jedi seem even better at it. Even more like a great story, or dream.

And besides, his hatchmates are all twitching with jealousy when they find out. It seems almost a shame not to make them change colours with full envy.

“I am special!” Deearo brags.

“Ugh,” Jebebe complains, clacking her mandibles. “You just have so much fluff in your brain that there was room for weird magic to get in there. Like birds making a nest.”

“That’s not how it works!” he protests.

“I want to be a Jedi!” Aboro whines. “How come you get all the good stuff? It’s not fair!”

“You get good stuff!” Deearo protests. “Baba gives you pickled eggs all the time, no one else ever gets to sneak them!”

“That’s not the same!”

They break into quarreling, then, but even though there is a lot of complaining and whining and protests of unfairness, they don’t actually fight, either. Deearo has to endure a fair few pranks at his expense, though, because his hatchmates don’t even bother to ask what he will decide. They know as well as he does, in the end. And they might be jealous, but he can see the same sort of uncertainty he feels in himself reflected in their own eyes.

Humans, Deearo knows, usually grow up and leave their families. That is what they expect, because there is a certain coldness to them. Or at least, he thinks there must be. They think it is normal to leave hatchmates behind, and to stop seeing parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins so often. To not live with the same family you grew up with. And sometimes they even hate their family. Luke Skywalker fought his own sire, and was raised apart from his hatchmate.

That seems so lonely.

But when he finally comes for Deearo, he doesn’t seem like a lonely man. There is that star-brightness to him. And now that Deearo is not behind the bar, he looks at him more plainly. A human of the desert, most definitely, for all that he has been flying among the stars. It is comforting, in a way - Deearo knows desert things. And the human seems to know Deearo, too, with a sense of understanding that he cannot quite explain.

He stares at the model ship that Deearo is holding. It would not fit so well in his bag.

He smiles, and for a moment, he does look sad. But it is an old sad. Like the scars on Mama’s carapace.

“Want to see my ship?” he offers.

Deearo clicks in excitement, and bounds eagerly towards him.

The excitement takes over, after that. Even through his goodbyes, it keeps him going, as Master Skywalker - “Master Luke is okay” - lets him ride in the cockpit, and answers all of his questions about how the ship flies and how things work. He looks at Deearo’s model ship, too, and says he had one just like it when he was younger. Just like! And when Deearo asks about the war, he answers those questions, too, although soon enough that just turns into a conversation about X-wings and TIE fighters, and if General Organa really did throw people into garbage chutes.

She did.

It’s only when the excitement wears off that Deearo begins to feel afraid. The stars outside the ship are vast, and everything gets colder than he is used to. When he has been quiet for a while, Master Luke takes him from the cockpit, and sets him onto a big ship bunk with a heated blanket.

“Scared?” he asks.

Deearo gestures ‘no’, to be brave. But Master Luke hums and does not seem convinced.

“I can sense it,” he says. “It’s alright. Anyone would be scared, leaving home for the first time. I was.”

“You?” Deearo blurts, stunned. “But you are a Jedi!”

Master Luke laughs.

“Well, I wasn’t then,” he says. “But even as a Jedi, I still get scared. I just deal with it differently now.”

Deearo clicks softly, in interest.

“How?”

Master Luke lets out a long breath, and settles down cross-legged onto the floor beside the bunk. After a moment, Deearo takes his blanket, and slides down next to him. He tries to sit the same way, but Master Luke only has two legs, and his own don’t want to go like that. After a few minutes he gives up, and settles into a folded position that is more natural for him. But Master Luke nods in approval, at it.

"Every fear is different. Just like other emotions, you feel things because something has happened, that brought this feeling to you. For this one… you are afraid of facing the unknown. Of leaving behind people who love you. But if you reach for the Force, you can feel the connection you still have to your family. It isn’t gone, and neither are they. Reach out, and you feel them.”

This is a lesson, Deearo can tell. He nods, and sits, and thinks for a long while about what he was just told. Of course, he still loves his family… but they are not here right now? And the Force cannot make them be here, because they are not. Right?

After a few minutes, Master Luke chuckles.

“You’re just thinking very hard,” he says.

“Well… yes?”

Again, Master Luke chuckles.

“You need to feel it,” he says. “Clear your mind. Don’t think about anything.”

Don’t think about anything?

Deearo is not sure he can do that. Does not being able to do that mean he is not really a Jedi? Did Master Luke make a mistake? No, but wait, thinking about that is thinking. He needs to stop thinking. But if he can’t, will he go back home before he even gets to the school? That would be embarrassing…

“Okay, wrong approach,” Master Luke murmurs, lips twitching as he settles a hand on the back of Deearo’s carapace. Somehow, though, he makes things feel much calmer. And Deearo gets the distinct impression that he is doing it, on purpose; not just with comforting gestures, but with something else, too.

With the Force?

“Focus on one thing,” Master Luke instructs.

One thing. Okay. Deearo can focus on one thing. He resettles himself, and taps the points of his digits against the floor, and makes a few clicks before he settles on one thing. The feeling, he decides. The calm feeling he doesn’t entirely understand, that Master Luke is making. He focuses on how it is soothing the air, and making him feel like he has just come from Mama’s arms, or a sleepy pile of napping hatchmates. How is Master Luke doing it? And how does Deearo know he is doing it? It is like a sound, he thinks. A sound too low to hear, but that sings a soothing song, with vibrations he can feel anyway.

“Good,” Master Luke murmurs, quietly. “Follow the feeling. Like you are an explorer, out on the dunes. Watching for the weather. Looking for signs of life. Not really seeking anything specific, but just seeing what’s out there. What’s around you.”

Deearo can do that! He imagines the dunes, and that is easy. Master Luke’s calm becomes a soothing breeze, and after a while, the sands turn dark. Like the space outside the ship. Not scary, just dark, like at night. The stars come out, and at first they are just in the sky above. Like usual. But they spread, like glittering gems, into the space beneath him, too. And it all feels like it is moving. Heading towards something… something green. Somewhere green.

“What do you see?” Master Luke asks.

Deearo clicks.

“Stars,” he says. “Space. A green place, we are going to.”

“Good. Now what is behind that? If you look to where we have come from, what do you see?”

Deearo turns, in his mind’s eye, and stares backwards. The stars are making trails, he realizes. Like bright strips of light. And behind them, he sees silhouettes. Familiar ones, with familiar sentiments. Thoughts that reach out towards him, just like the reverse of the trailing stars.

“My family,” he murmurs.

“Yes! There they are,” Master Luke encourages.

They are! Deearo can feel them! Far away, but, right where he left them, too.

He manages to hold into it for a minute more, but then his concentration slips. And he blinks, and he finds himself back on the ship. Sitting next to Master Luke, with walls between them and all of the stars.

Master Luke is smiling.

“That was wonderfully done,” he says. “How do you feel?”

Deearo considers himself, tapping the front of his carapace as he blinks.

“A little dizzy?” he admits.

“Mm. Yeah, that can happen,” Master Luke tells him. “Give it a minute before you get up.”

“I’m not scared so much though,” Deearo adds, forgetting, for a moment, that he had claimed to now be scared at all. Master Luke doesn’t point that out, though. He just pats him and tells him it’s a good job, and sits with Deearo for a while longer. Letting him just quietly think about things, until Deearo gets tired enough to climb back onto the bunk.

“I’m going to meditate here,” Master Luke says. “Artoo can fly us for now. That is, if you don’t mind the company?”

Deearo has never slept in an empty room in his life. He feels a rush of relief.

“No, I don’t mind at all.”

Years later, Deearo thinks of that first flight, as the temple burns. His limbs ache. His grip is steady as he can make it, though, as he holds his training staff. No match for a lightsaber, but better than nothing. The night sky feels dark in the wrong way, as he draws in heavy breaths, and tries to swallow back his clicks. He digs at the place where the rubble has collapsed, and buried Master Luke beneath it.

The deaths of the students who are fighting stab at him like knives. No, no, Sedal. Not Sedal. And Jyga! Some of the older students are fighting with Ben and his friends, trying to keep them from killing the younger ones. Deearo does not have his lightsaber yet. But he has his wings, now. He was the only one who could make it out to where Master Luke is, fighting his way out, but Sedal and Jyga’s deaths rattle through him with such shocks that he nearly falls over. Slipping in the rain.

Don’t feel it!

Deearo cannot block it out, but he can think. He can think it all, over-think it all. What had even happened? Yesterday. Yesterday, at training. Ben was angry. He fought angry. Master Luke had to stop him, it had looked like he was about to kill Sedal, the whole school had been talking about it. But that had only been the latest in a long string of incidents. Deearo had gone to bed hoping it would be the last, but not like this. Waking in the night to fire and screams, to someone shouting that Ben had tried to kill Master Luke.

Master Luke!

He takes in a deep breath, and uses what focus he can muster, and shifts the biggest portion of rubble away. Master Luke always says that if you can move a twig, you can move a tree, but Deearo isn’t… he hasn’t really figured it out yet, not as good as some of the others…

“STOP!”

A wave of force crashes against Deearo’s back, and sends him spinning away from his desperate excavation. His carapace smacks into nearby stone, and alarmed clicks escape him as he sees the gleam of lightsabers in the night. The silhouettes of humans. Older students.

Ben.

“Which one is it?” one of his friends asks.

“The bug,” Ben replies.

Deearo flares his mandibles. Always ‘the bug’, to Ben Solo. For some reason the man had hated him from the moment when Master Luke announced that he was from Tatooine.

No. Not for ‘some reason’. Deearo figured it out, of course. Ben hated that he was from the same place as his uncle. As his grandfather. That he had something in common with them that Ben didn’t, and that Master Luke was fond of him for it. He hated him in a way that surpassed the rivalries of hatchmates or normal jealousy. In a way that made Deearo skitter away from him, for years.

“I’ll do it,” one of the others offers.

“No,” Ben says. Deearo hesitates, as the man looks down at him. But he cannot feel anything except anger and fear pouring off of him waves. Impenetrable and deep. His expression twists, and he gestures at one of his friends.

“Give him a lightsaber.”

“What?! But-”

“Just do it!”

His voice rises in a shriek of anger, that ripples through the air. Deearo cannot hold back his clicks of distress as a lighstaber is thrown to the ground next to him, skittering towards the hand he still has clenched around his practice staff. He stares at it, until he hears the hum of Ben’s blade. The light from it spills over his training robes, as the man’s mouth clenches with emotions, and he looks at Deearo with purest contempt.

“Take it,” he says. “I’ll give you one chance. Since you’re his favourite, since he thought so highly of you. You can prove why - or you can die in the dirt.”

Deearo’s digits shake. He hasn’t practiced with a real lightsaber before. He’s only held one a few times while it was lit, Master Luke was still trying to figure out how to help him with his form, since he has so many limbs…

But Ben knows that. Ben’s killing them all.

He picks up the lightsaber. Green light spills over him as he ignites it, and gets to his feet.

He barely has time to lift his own weapon before Ben is swinging at him. Rain sizzles where it strikes the beams of their blades. Deearo veers backwards, managing to counter the first strike, and then the second, but he slips and the third comes down in a vicious arc that he cannot meet. Ben’s blade strikes his shoulder, and he screams as he feels it rend through his carapace, and flesh. It is a dizzying shock to hear his own arm hit the ground. The borrowed lightsaber blade deactivates, barely used. Deearo trembles, and does not know if he can fight back his terror.

No. You can.

Breathe.

Focus.

He puts away the sickening feeling of the limb lost. It is gone now. He reaches his senses backwards, instead. Anchoring himself in the feel of distant family, like stars. In the sound of the rain, and the feeling of Master Luke’s heart. Buried but still beating. Past the hatred and fear and anger in the air, past the pain, there is still the Force.

Ben’s chest heaves as he stares down at him.

“Just what I thought. Pathetic,” he says. “Weak. Unworthy.”

Deearo knows, then.

He is not going to make it out of here alive.

“All he saw in you was what he wanted to see.”

“I am a Jedi,” he says. Without clicks. “That is what he saw. I am a Jedi.”

Ben’s face trembles. He he raises a lightsaber.

“Well. Probably. Since you’re going to die. Jedi are good at that,” he spits.

The Force takes the pain as the blade of his lightsaber splits through Deearo’s chest. Around him is the cracked ground, the broken temple. The bodies strewn in the rain, as the enemies stand among them. Like the old games, he thinks, that he used to play. With his toy soldiers, on the cantina floor.

Being a Jedi was a big dream.

Before the Force takes him, Deearo’s last dream is a small dream. Of home.

#star wars #just a thing i had to get out #been rattling around in my brain on and off since tfa #star wars fanfic

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henry-hart · 7 years ago

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The Secret Gets Out s1 ep3

Some quality Charlotte in this ep. Yay!!!!

ooh I know what happens in this one :))))

yay for that bb chenry content

Jasper just taking over the tv screen when c x h won’t watch his clip ajsklsj same

“CM’s big fail” man they do not go gentle with these video titles. really going for the throat

“Hey, look! My bellybutton!” Hen, sweetie. You need to work on your distractions

Ray looks hella good. just saying. ;)

poor CM. his face when the news lady says, “once again escaping capture from CM.” HE’S TRYING, LADY.

“CM, isn’t it true that the phone shark has been attacking ppl’s phones for over a year now?” “Uh, yes that is true.” askjlk y does he sound like he’s on trial???

“So why don’t you catch him?” “Well, KD and I have been trying.” “But you keep failing. Doesn’t that bug you?” “Yes.” we always talk about Hen’s sass, but Ray has his snarky moments

AJSLKSLKJ JASPER BAD-MOUTHING KD AND HEN JUST STOPS DRINKING HIS DRINK AND IS LIKE, “One more time???” like, the pg version of “tf did you just say???”

“Just saying, I’d be way better at catching bad guys than KD.” “You couldn’t catch butt warts!!!!” Hen u couldn’t be anymore obvious if you tried aksljsjksjl

“Why are you getting all mad?” “Because Jasper’s being unfair, and I think it’s unfair to criticize m--that...that KD guy when he’s probably doing the best he can. And people should be fair. Fairness. I’m pro-fair.” THAT’S RIGHT BB. U DEFEND YOURSELF. YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST AND I AM PROUD OF U

his lil pouty face after he gives his little speech is TOO CUTE

can I just say, once again, s1 Hen is the cutest thing ever

@jace how were u this cute at 13??? I didn’t even look human when i was that age aksjlksj

[MY DRAMATIC DAUGHTER, ENTER STAGE RIGHT]

Pipes blackmailing Jasp with that cup song video alksjslksj (no wonder her parents assumed it was her who was arrested in that xmas ep lolol)

“I NEVER DID THAT!!!! Why would I do that? I NEVER DID THAT!!!!”

Pipes just shoved Hen out the way to sit on the couch aksljslk

Henry didn’t put up much of a fight against Piper in these earlier eps (I mean, when does he ever anyway lol).

jasp....i love u...but...that video is really cringey....

Hen telling Pipes not to put the video on line :)))) my sweet son :)))))

Piper mocking Jasper in the video alkjlsk

“Why does your watch beep like that?” “It means they need me at work....bye!” “Wait! It’s Sunday. Junk ‘n Stuff is closed on Sunday.” “Right....I better go tell the customers.” Henry you are a terrible liar

which is expected bc he’s sweet and a mess. not a combo that makes for a skilled liar alkjslkj

“There is something up with that boy.” YAS CHARLOTTE YAS my smart/observant daughter (tho hen does make it easy with his crap excuses lolol)

“I’m so tired.” “Oh, quit whining. It was only 4 miles.” “Yeah, 4 miles there and 4 miles back!” ajkjslk poor J

“Uuuggghhh I’m gonna die.” “NOT in the house! If you’re gonna die, do it outside!” Piper does not care. at all.

so, what??? Char’s just been chillin in Hen’s room in the dark waiting for him to sneak back in??? lolol

poor hen had a mini heart attack ajklksj

Char clearly knows. she’s just asking all those questions to hear Hen’s bs lolol

“I like your shirt.” nice try hen. it’s not working, but nice try.

Char really covered all the bases. she called the store to see if Hen was really there. girl doesn’t mess around when she’s figuring something out. r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

“You wanna know the truth? I’m a jazz musician. I don’t tell a lot of people, but secretly, I play jazz. A-a-and the only time the jazz clubs are open is late at night.” Hen...who taught you how to lie????

God, P x H are such antipodes. You have one sibling who blackmails others with embarrassing secrets to get what they want and then you have the other sibling who can’t come up with a better lie than “I play jazz late at night” aksjslk

“That’s where I was---at a jazz club. Blowing jazz. On mah horn.” i love the way he says this lol

“That’s because YOU’RE Kid Danger!” and a hush falls over the room...

Hen, make as many weird noises and mock being KD all you want. It’s not working. aksjlskj

you know, even if Char wasn’t an uber smart cookie, hen makes it unbelievably easy to figure out

“And I guess you must be Beyonce.” AJKSJKSLJ AN ICONIC HENRY LINE TO PUT IN THE BOOKS, GUYS.

“Okay, this is really big, what I’m about to tell you.” “What? That you’re KD?” “Shuuut UUUuuuUUUpppp!” akljslkj

“I’m KD.” “I know. I figured that out.” CHARLOTTE YOU ARE MY QUEEN

“I swear I’m never gonna tell anyone.” “Thanks.” “Can I tell Jasper???” “Wha---NOOOOOO!!!!”

I love the way he says this in his lil 13 yr old squeaky voice aksjlsksj

also Char wanting to include J from the get-go :’))))

Ray was so light and cheerful in this season. he’s all “Henry, I didn’t know you were working today. Did I butt-beep you???” whereas now he’s all “YoU cAn’T bE sIcK. yOu’Re ObViOuSlY lYiNg To Me!!!!” ugh

:(((( you can tell Hen is having a hard time telling Ray that Char knows

props to him tho. i would’ve put if off until it eventually just came out at the worst time possible jakjslskj

“Can I talk to you about something?” “Uhhhh....babies come from the baby store!!!” oh Ray

“What’d you tell her?” “That I am KD.” “Ohhhh.” “You’re not mad, are you?” “No, I’m not mad.” “Oh, good.” “You’re fired.” jkalsjlk RAY YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TERRIBLE HE IS AT LYING. IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE IF HE KEPT UP THE LIE

also Hen’s face is causing me pain. he’s so sad :((((

Ray’s being so serious....I’m not used to this.

“When trust is broken, it can never be fixed.” “Yes it can!” “Read this fortune cookie.” “’When trust is broken, it can never be fixed’....” “Let’s not argue with the Chinese.” aksjslk

also Ray is really that next level extra. he has fortune cookies to prove his point lolol a legend

Henry listening to jazz and downing a bottle of chocolate syrup alksjslk is this the pg version of drowning your woes in alcohol???

“You’re not gonna find the answer at the bottom of a bottle of chocolate.” *takes bottle away* *Hen takes out a second bottle* “I won’t know if I don’t look.”

my poor bb. he really thinks he’s a lousy KD

I WANT TO HUG HIM THRU MY LAPTOP SCREEN.

HEN YOU SAVED CM ON YOUR SECOND DAY ON THE JOB. YOU ARE A GREAT KD.

klajdkl Henry singing a sad version of the cup song

they played a cheering sound effect while he sang omg

(I remember watching a vid where Jace said he doesn’t sing and it’s “probably for the best.” aksjslkjs)

classic pouty/depressed hen laying on his couch. :((((

it’s kind of playing tricks on my mind bc i remember when he did that after he couldn’t defeat Drex, but he looked SOOOO much older in that ep lolol

Jasp having to do Piper’s chores lol

“Henry, come to the Swellview Park right now.” “Nooooo. I’m not in the mood for trees.” jaklsj it be like that sometimes

Piper: “AHHHHH!!!! HEN-RYYYY!!!” Henry: *sighs like ‘here we go again’* akjslk

I LOVE THESE PIPER X HENRY INTERACTIONS (even if it’s her yelling at him lolol)

“Is that makeup on your face???” jokes on you, Hen. you’re all wearing makeup.

i love the faces Hen makes while Piper yells. they’re great

gotta hand it to Ella. she was really committed to this part

“To a club with mah gurlsss.” PIPER NO

“Club 11″ god can u imagine a whole place dedicated to 10-11 yr olds??? i have siblings that age and it’s the worst. possible. age. ever.

I don’t even understand them most the time. you think i would be able to considering how in tune I am with my kid side, but the stuff they do/say/like is lost on me

sorry for that sidebar

okay, Piper has a fake ID??? a fake license, a fake ID. HOW R U AND HEN EVEN RELATED???

Hen’s out here fighting crime while his lil sis is committing them akljsslkj

I love Hen’s overall indifference??? Like, he’s just like “you better hope mom doesn’t find out” he’s not threatening to tell on her. he just like “not my problem”

even when she’s yelling at him he’s like “whatever. i gotta go.” ajlskjlk I love him

j now has blackmail of his own. oh, how the tables have turned.

“THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!!!” NEITHER IS YOU TRYING TO GET INTO CLUBS UNDERAGE, PIPER!!!!!

Char is so awesome. instead of just feeling bad about getting hen fired, she’s out her actively trying to help him out, and she’s not doing it for him. she’s just guiding him. she leaves all the redeeming to him. what a stand up character. wow. i lover her.

wedding crashers chenry style aljksjsl

duh it looks like the phone shark, hen. HE HAS METAL TEETH.

“Now go do CM a favor and catch the phone shark.....Kid Danger.” I squealed. we love supportive bffs here

Hen’s got that pep back in his step

“What up with the gum?” aksjlsklsj

OKAY ABOUT THIS GUM THING

I thought Schwoz made the gum???? If he did, then how does Hen have a tube with his own gum for his costume??? Ray and Schwoz are estranged at this point in the show. Schwoz doesn’t even know Ray has a sidekick let alone who Hen is, so how??? does he??? have it????

are they trying to tell me Ray made it???

i love him, but no.

maybe Gooch???

I don’t know

“In sickness and in health, in fitness and obesity, as long as you both can stand it.” these wedding vows are more accurate than the traditional ones, honestly

Henry. looks. so. cute. in. his. lil. costume. like. a. baby. duck. trying. to. be. a. superhero. :)))))

okay, so phone shark guy bites phones, but why??? like, does he eat them, or does he just enjoy biting them??

homeboy is looking at hen’s phone like it’s a whole snack....so he does eat them???

i need to know.

“Mmmmmm gotta love that new phone smeeEEeeellll.” akjslkj jace was so goofy in the earlier seasons

Charlotte......y do u have binoculars??? this is all happening ten feet in front of you.....???

HEN JUST JUMPED ON THE BACK OF A MAN WITH METAL TEETH. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYONE DISSING HIM AS A SIDEKICK OR ANYTHING ELSE.

omg the phone shark spun hen and his feet clocked the bride in the face ajklsjlksj

yo wedding gifts are expensive af and Hen just made the phone shark wreck all of them lolol oops

EVERYONE IS CHEERING FOR KD. YAS. YAS. YAS. GIVE HIM THE RECOGNITION HE DESERVES.

omg Hen’s lil celebration dance is so cute :))))

he. gave. CM. all. the. credit. can. u. believe. my. son. is. such. a. good. person.

“It was really my boss, CM.” “Interesting. Can you tell us more?” “.....No....” lololol

Ray’s all “you gave me all the credit” in this awed voice DAWWWWWW

y is he suited up as CM tho???

“Well everyone’s been giving you a hard time about catching the phone shark. I figured I’d help you out.” YA’LL I AM SOBBING. THIS IS THE SWEETEST BOY.OL

“Uhhhhh excuse me? I’m the one who found the phone shark.”

TELL. THEM. CHARLOTTE. Like, who are you to go giving credit??? I’m the one who found him???

Ray doing one of those full body groans that he always does. dramatique

“Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. What am I going to do with you?” “I think it’s pretty obvious: give me a job here! You guys need me.” GIRL YOU DON’T KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

srsly how many times does Char save their a**es??? too many times to count. hiring her is one of the best things you’ll ever do, Ray.

HENRY IS SUCH A LIL BEAN COMPARED TO`RAY. LIKE, THEY’RE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER, BOTH WEARING THEIR SUPER SUITS, AND JUST---HENRY. IS. SO. TINY. O. M. G.

Char explaining how she found the phone shark and making it clear how obvious her thought process was while Ray x Hen are just like “.....”

“I called some dentists...” “We should’ve called some dentist!” “We totally should’ve!” “Then I went online...” “We should’ve gone online!” “What is wrong with us???”

they feel so dumb for not thinking of cheCKING DENTAL RECORDS FOR SOMEONE WITH METAL TEETH. HONESTLY YOU TWO. HOW HAVE YOU GOTTEN THIS FAR????

if it wasn’t obvious before that you need Char, is pretty obvious now.

“Off to my cousin’s wedding. Hope they serve phones for dessert. LOL.” “She’s good.” “She is.” COME ON GUYS. I AGREE, CHAR IS GOOD, BUT HOW DO YOU NOT PIECE ALL THAT OBVIOUSNESS TOGETHER????

Honestly, Ray getting a younger sidekick makes the most sense to me because can u imagine Ray trying to navigate social media??? or going through the internet like char did??? or hacking into anything??? No.

dude needed some gen z kids to help him out with the modern world aljskljs

“She could really help us out around here.” YOU AIN’T LYING.

“Us???” “Oh, right....you fired me.” “Well you broke the oath.” he sounds like such a pouty manchild akjslkjskj

wow hen ur already on a first name basis with your boss

i don’t know why i’m just pointing this out

homeboy was calling him Ray within a few hours ajlkjsklsj

Hen was so happy when Ray hired him back :))))))

DAWWWW HEN X RAY JUST SHARED THE CUTEST HUG!!!!!!!!

Char: “Cough cough cough.” lolol

“What are you going to do about Charlotte???” “UUUuuuuuUUUggggGGGhhhHHH well, she knows you’re KD. She knows who I am. She knows where the Man Cave is because you brought her down here!” I laughed so hard here. poor Hen was too excited about his job well done so he just took Char into their super secret hideout akljslk

“Sooooooo what does that mean?” “That we either have to kill you, erase your brain, or give you a job.”

REALLY RAY. REALLY. YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR SIDEKICK’S TRUSTWORTHY BFF SPILLING YOUR SECRET, BUT WHEN A VILLAIN. WHO. WANTS. TO. DESTROY. YOU!!!!! ESCAPES WITH BOTH YOUR IDENTITIES, YOU JUST LET HER GO???? YOU NEVER TRY TO FIND HER AGAIN???? TF?????

“I vote job.” “We can really erase her brain???” “Dude!” cuties

“Alright, she can have a job here--” *C x H celebrate* “--IF--” *C x H jump* “--she can pass the pickle test.” *C x H share similar ‘tf???’ expressions*

BORK!!! MY MAN!!!! (i just realized Gooch wasn’t in this one)

I wish they’d give Bork more of a role. :( they just have him kind of....grunt....and that’s all.

I do like in the green finger ep where he just dumps Ray out of the shopping cart though bc same jkajlskjl (Ray was being such a baby in that ep and I would’ve done the same)

“You have to prove you’re clever enough to work for CM.” “I found the phone shark.” “Well anyone could do that.” “Not you two.” “Well, you know what--” “Okay, let’s not go there.” aksjdlkj

not gonna lie, when Ray was like, “get the pickle out” the first thing I thought of--before Char did it--was to just break the jar alkjslksj great minds think alike, Char ;)))

“How much time does she have?” “Exactly five min--” *shatters the jar* “Here’s your pickle.”

“That was Bork’s favorite jar.” pfffff

“So, wait, is Charlotte hired???” “Yeah....yeah she’s hired.”

they’re little celebratory high-five was too. cute.

i love my smol happy bbs

Henry being all excited to show her the tubes :)))))

“Hug me.” *side-eyes him* “Just trust meee.” CLASSIC CHENRY MOMENT AJLKSJLSKJ

BORK COMING BACK TO GET HIS JAR AND SEEING IT BROKEN AJKLSJSLK THAT DRAMATIC LOOK OFF INTO THE DISTANCE WHILE A SINGLE TEAR FALLS DOWN HIS CHEEK. GET THIS MAN AN OSCAR ALKJLSKJ

Piper scrubbing J’s feet lolol that’s karma, P.

another wholesome episode that left me all smiley and happy :)))))

i love early Henry. he was such a little cutie who was excited about everything

there was some GREAT Char content this ep---she was one of the biggest parts

<3333

#this is almost therapeutic for me #they make me so happy #episode synopsis #hd rewatch #the secret gets out

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shytiff · 4 years ago

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June Small Wins

1 - ecmocard meeting with ppl from aussie to learn to sort out data. Felt better after the meeting cause i didnt feel like doing anything before. Got two season deli box cake from dapur cokelat for nessa. Videocalled w her and ren.

2 - dr eva chatted and gave things to do. I also need to make intern log for dr retha. I just cant bring myself to start. Finally mustered the courage. Im not the type of person for wfh. At least in this house. Finished reading love or hate. I rly felt like shit at night.

3 - started reading positively yours. Had no will to do anything

4 - some more sending spss work for dr eva. weekdays with no “outside work” rly render me useless in functioning. a vegetable

5 - iluni webinar. Lost my attention during electrolyte and fluid stuff. tried to cook ribeye steak lmao (meat from @/fridaymeatshop). Its too chewy and leathery. But its not too welldone. And at least it tastes good. Went to depok by krl. its quite quick since krl arrived just after im at poris and duri. went ahead of silvi devi. satpam on the lobby wont open the access hhhh (i dont have one. i dunno why. mom said she cant find it although we supposedly have 2). but my mood improved once im upstairs. we prepped a bit of deco. conversed in the dark so not to make racheel suspicious. surprisee. had truffle belly chicken cheese for dinner. the cheese was not to cheesy, its more of a gentle taste. mushroom tastes better. we watched sweet and sour from my mobile data. surprisingly, its not that much of data. slept at like 12-1ish

6 - the electric token went out in the morning. we went for a walk in ui. the PLK man across of st ui forbade us from going in. ugh. but it was rly empty. so we went from barel. its empty on the library. there was a dog that walked along with us. talked a bit in front of the lake. went back. i got 2 moon chicken (the basic flavor and not the wings) and spicy jumeokbap. the jumeokbap was nothing like what i had in korea. like the seaweed’s taste doesnt come out that much, and its not that flavorful/savory. the one in korea its good even by itself. went back to jkt nebeng reza silvi with devi. originally planned to go to flavola, but my head kinda hurts, so i finished my moon chicken at the mushola and asked juan to pick me up. still feel healthy and normal after going and staying out, so i started reading a book abt handwriting analysis lmaoo. fell asleep. tried several attempts to figure out my bpjs number and turns out the best there is to respond is BPJS’ twitter. the problem was solved under 5 mins.

7 - woke up, fell asleep again. Adita told me that i might be interviewed today for the ipd intern but theres no info. Did the registration stuff for my bpjs. Registered for npwp. Watched bts x na pd

8 - off to RSF. its audit day today. hiks to phonecall follow up work. i did not do anything inaco related, i just sat there and did dr dafsah’s excel. dr vera bought me pecel ayam hehe yay. went to como park to meet up with indah regen. tried ricotta pizza from pizza place (33k). the cheese is cheese but not that typical cheesy (?) coupled with mushroom. i had to add sauce to withstand the last bites (still kinda full). tried other’s as well, pesto and mushroom. pesto had the most taste. while waiting for doggo to arrive, we bought gelato (S: 35k). apparently their special flavor was ricotta lmao. tried green tea (bitter, which i like) and peanut butter + caramel, which makes you feel thirsty. watched the doggos from the sidelines. after maghrib we went to 1/15. ordered ice mocha (50k). the chocolate taste stood out more. not gonna order again lol. the staff initially recommended pandan flavor. took grab to gbk station to go home.

9 - rsf. second audit day. i hate it here lmao. im not even paid for my time here. excused myself to eat. turns out mbak Ai bought hokben. i almost forgot thanking her since i felt hungry with a bit of headache. talked a bit with dr retha regarding changes of assistant (since internship is soon). went back and immediately laid down in bed. mom bought pizza so thats what i ate for dinner. fell asleep (i can feel it. my face will get consequences)

10 - cant bring myself to do anything. i reread painter of the night lmao. seungho is a prick. inhun is also a prick (a greedy one). ate arirang bone marrow. put the egg-seasoning mixture to the pan since im not confident enough to just pour boiling water into the bowl. felt surprisingly full. went to sbux. green tea latte as usual. but turns out tumblr 50% promo only applies to sbux member. so i had to pay 40k for my green tea latte. at least i got to feel good from outside vibes. did some follow up for INACO patients.

11 - went to rm rsf. Took lots of photos of RM. I was given rujak by the rm staff lmaoo so cute. Didnt do any entry afterwards lmao i just laid down

12 - breakfast is paldo jjajangmen and egg. It tasted like soy. Its good but not in a micin way. Its quite fulfilling. Had some of the beef slices by putting it in a buttered pan (is it pan fried? Grilled? Idk). Had banana and brownies together (makes it rly good). Did a bit of clires work. I drank sbux's caramel macchiato but yall my stomach cant handle it lmao. It hurts so much that i even got a headache. So i just laid down in bed

13 - had arirang again loll. Inserted the egg to the pan still, but quicker this time. Its too salty today. Maybe its not enough water. I was eating it while googling how to remove excess sodium. Ate the rest of beef slices (shared with bros ofc) and mixed some with moms fried rice. Ate banana brownies again. Felt soooo full. Did some clires work accompanied by sbux matcha

14 - i felt like shit this morning. Watched leahs vid. Listened to her podcast while having bfast. I walked from moms car to bougenville while still feeling like shit. It slowly gets better afterwards, thankfully. Did some clires and follow up. Went to gandy steak in dr retha's car (which had anesthesiology textbook inside). Tried aus sirloin steak. The bread tasted ok. The garlic bread also ok. The mashed potato was so so (the one in depok was more creamy and smooth). The steak was good, especially the fat part, the sauce so so. Honestly that depok steak had more value for money compared to this, i think. Nebeng dr rara and husband to busway station. Arrived in ar and i immediately showered, such wow 👏👏

15 - today is no rsf day aka self made wfh day. Moms getting vaccinated today. I just lazed. And read kanej fics

16 - off to rsf. Took care of rm stuff. Tried social affair's croffle since i was so curious (60k [10k tip]). The nutella and cinnamon sugar one. Its crunchy and a bit crumbly inside, but not as fragile as croissant. Its quite fulfilling too. But its basically flour batter variations. (thats what mom would say). randomly chatted racheel and we ended up taking a walk and a bit of jog citra 6 (with my sneakon regular shoes). My left tendon was screaming lol. Picked up by juan who surprisingly effortlessly found the address at night.

17 - mbak aan chatted me today to go to rscm. Met prof murdani at pesc and he gave me ppt assigment for 13:30 THAT DAY. Finished it unsatisfyingly (i wish i couldve done more). Lunch was free bebek bkb yay thankyou Prof c: (he even asked what did i ate) took care of legalisir stuff. Went home by tj. Drank matcha w vsoy and i somehow was not sleepy after maghrib. I also changed my desj layout. Maybe it kinda works to separate my spaces

18 - arrived at rscm at 8-ish. sent updated thibbun nabawi ppt. literature search. and then somehow its 14:30. went to SCI w ara wani rasyid. tried bandeng nyonya, oyster, salmon, cumi lada garam (its crazy good among all the good tasting food wtff), shrimp and pocai telor (veggie stuff). dessert was thailand cassava. spent about 190k. went back by TJ. had wudu at pulomas and prayed ashar on the bus lol. i passed out after playing w my phone lmaoo

19 - spent almost the whole day just sleeping and eating. finally showered in the afternoon. had matcha vsoy latte after maghrib and with enough day sleeping, i did presentation outline. at like 1/2 am i initially planned to sleep but my eyes still have plenty of watts. so i read hold me tight. slept at like 4/5 am

20 - woke up at 9. off to om dokter’s house to ask for healthy letter. we talked almost the entire time im there lol. before u know it mom and dad’s done talking with grandma. om dokter shared some of his experiences in the past. and he said something about making your choice and living with it, and it will all have a meaning even if you might initially agonize about it. girl i was holding back tears. here he was talking about choices, something i never rly talk about at my house. im getting teary just typing this. he talked about it in a way that sounds simple, even though i agonized abt internship choices and sometimes avoid thinking about it. it rly rly was a new experience. i dont rly talk about “choices” with my parents. so hearing how to go through options in life from a person i can relate to regarding this med stuff is. i feel like i would have loved it if i can hear his wisdom earlier. i dont talk with him much if my parents are around bcs they will just meddle and say stuff that wreck my peace. they dont rly know what im going through but can be very opinionated. this peaceful one on one talk rly made me feel relieved and reassured. and i was today years old when i found out he initially wanted to be a psychiatrist. he would have been a great psychiatrist. i feel like we have some understanding thats left unsaid. like he knows how my parents are like. he would probably understand why i dont talk with him much at AR. after what feels super quick, we went back to AR. registered for STR. searched some literature for the topics that Prof is the moderator of. powered by matcha energy

21 - rscm as usual. the Prof did not come. lunch was bread i brought from home. waited for mom to pick me up at kfc so i bought pukis kfc. its like properly made pukis and not the street seller made ones. the chocolate one was good since the toppings generous. felt a bit feverish? like my body felt warm. fell asleep and then suddenly its 6 am in the morning.

22 - Prof still did not came. had amart’s ayam penyet jamur for lunch. turns out juan bought ayam geprek gendut for dinner. night time is diarrhea time lmaooooo. did not feel sleepy at AR but i skipped shower again lmao,,,,,,,, and then suddenly its morning again

23 - jajan from sisterfield today. tried their carrot cake and kopi susu gula aren. the carrot cake has that carrot texture. its different. the icing was fresh cream cheese that made the cake taste good. the coffee made my stomach ache a bit. it has that subtle chocolatey taste. fell asleep again. third time’s the charm (of 1x/day face wash). woke up at 3 am planning to sleep but i ended up washing my face. turns out atikah was still awake due to AZ fever.

24 - this is the bestest sleep i had in this week (?) had a dream about going to bandung and the car falling to water. forgot my headset today. can finally meet prof Mur. talked abt inaco stuff w agassi. reread komugi meruem lmaoo. felll asleep. somehow had the misfortune of hearing dad’s hurtful words to mom. i want to fall asleep again but its difficuly. i went through stages of pent up anger, some sort of selfishness (i will go out from jakarta for internship), amazement to mom, and... (continue 2moro)

25 - lunch was dori rice from kanprim thanks to rasyid’s jastip. watched bts’ butter norebang lolll :(((. arrived at AR the fastest ive been. mom came to me right before maghrib and summed some stuff dad said yesterday. she handled it in a trivial way. like she was unaffected. and that somehow helped me too. stuck around in the dining room for a while after maghrib. talked about internship w mom. i left some chance for dad to yap yap abt whatever related to internship (thankfully songs were full volume through my wireless headset) while im inhaling through my matcha latte. i wont write what he said bcs its lowkey super embarrassing. thank the gods for wireless speakers.

26 - did not do anything productive today. Had arirang salted egg for bfast (wont repurchase). Had the meat cubes i bought online and its rly good. Ran with racil at citra 6. The tendon in my left feet hurt lol. Gmeet with ara et al to discuss internship review

27 - lazed. Wanted to start my day early but couldnt bring myself to. Binge watched twoset videos. Did clires stuff. 1 more RM to wait from IRMIK. No gastro intern work this weekend aaaa im starting to panic.

28 - juan came along otw to rscm. Talked about iship otw. brought tons of stuff to eat, including matcha latte, but i was unable to finish it lol. Discussed research budgeting w Prof. Didnt do anything in home. Starting to panic with my ppt progress.

29 - discussed budgeting revision. Prof thought abt little details i didnt even consider. Didnt do anything while at ar anjengggg

30 - prof did not come to dept today. Listemed to agassi rambling abt intern stuff. Immediately opened my laptop in ar. Watched two set. Played marapets lmaooo i finally managed to gather 3 au for shop pricer. But still didnot wash my face 👁️👄🤦‍♀️ maybe bcs i hate doing what people tells me to do (re: shower due to covid scare). Had a nightmare abt being in a car ride alone w dad and it was rly rly awkward

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bangbangboogietotheboogie · 6 years ago

Video

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Time based video.

Basically SEM 1 sucks for me since I feel like nothing I’ve created is any good. Except for like two things, my mirror and my photographs, because I find them interesting for myself, something different. I guess I just feel like I’m making stuff to please the criteria, because ultimately I have to pass. and that feels like what I want to do isn't inline with the criteria, and in saying that, I probably haven't found a way to merge both. honestly, I just want to paint, refine my technical skills. I can’t draw as well as I use to anymore because I am so swamped with taking other classes that are begging for my time and I just can't make the time for them since everything needs more of this or more of that. I will admit that its a time management issue, but even then its hard to appease everything because I also want time for myself so that I dont hit absolute rock bottom again.

In saying that, this semester I’ve picked up 5 classes and HOO BOY BIG REGRET. Because I failed a first year class, I thought it would be better to get it over and done with so that I can graduate on time. and then there’s time based art, which is something that I really am not enjoying at all. I can appreciate it but it’s hard for me to come up with an idea that I like and make time to film stuff for it. I understand why I’m being pushed into it, its a flexible medium but holy fuck. Part of me kind of hopes to fail it so that I can start again and feel more confident about it, the other part of me doesn't want that because it’ll be like Groundhog Day with 5 classes again. It’s just been a little exhausting for me, with outside stuff happening too. that isn't relevant, but its been a little frustrating with carrying around a bucket full of emotion along with uni.

Anyway, moving away from that. This video is a little passive-aggressive I’ve noticed but honestly I can't stop laughing every time I watch it. Because I look dead inside, and I am a little, but in a way I feel like it shows my “fuck it, lets just do something to pass” mentality. This idea was spurred by my mid semester review, which, honestly, I did not enjoy at all. I appreciate the honesty and straightforwardness and honestly, I fucked myself over by being sad about dumb ass shit. So really, I’ve wasted my own time. This video doesn't reflect that, but I do want to make it clear that I understand what was being said to me. I’m more understanding and less stubborn once I’ve digested everything.

But honestly, I had a lot of fun making this video. Maybe because I thought it was hilarious. It’s similar to Donte Colley’s motivational videos and those womp womp vids on TikTok. more pessimistic but still very much meme like.

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I retook the video like 4 times? with slight changes to be more in time with the music and work out how I'm going to move around. thanks to google for helping me with understanding premiere pro bc that shit is hard.

about the video specifically though. first of all, I dont know why I slammed my jacket down so hard but I just went with it haha I chose comic sans as the font because that, in itself, is a meme. an ugly ass font, really. bright green was because of the lighting in my room. the white wouldn't show up properly. some of the text moves a little too fast to read, which requires a viewer to probably rewatch the video. and the inclusion of emojis was because the dancing was a little too fast, so I tried to create a little story with the emojis. the first couple are a little passive-aggressive, the star signs are Aries (my star sign) and Scorpio (apparently the bitchiest star sign) which is something I wanted to use to play on that meme about star signs like “ugh ur a fucken gemini ughhhh”. the 👩🏻‍🎨🎨💩 is a statement-- “painting is shit”, “my artwork sucks.” And 👩🏻‍🎨❌ says “dont be an artist, you’ll never be satisfied doing it in uni.” the last part I just drew out myself hahaha, because of my current pessimism, I’ve been thinking a lot about this image by Useless Treasures:

Warning (2018)

currently it feels like that, but I can't deny the exploration or the development at all. yes I’ll probably come to being grateful about this semester. I stubbornly don't want to. exploration has been really good, and in hindsight (mama says its the most beautiful thing), the challenges were rewarding.

here’s a link to the song I used in the video, Wii Tennis by Splash Daddy:

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edit: the quality of my video at the top is scheiße

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notagarroter · 8 years ago

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WIP Meme

Do This: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever.

Tagged by the lovely and talented @vulgarweed

oooh this is going to be a bit awkward because I really try to work on only one thing at a time. but I do keep notes for future projects, when I get around to them.

FICS

as for Sherlock fics, the answer is nil – my general rule for fanfic is I only write up an idea if it is TEARING ME UP inside so that I *have* to write it, and even then only if I can get the whole thing done in under a day. so I may write something new someday but only if a plot bunny is gnawing on my very soul. ;)

METAS

Sherlock metas are another story, though! I spend weeks and weeks planning and plotting them, batting ideas around, doing outside research, rewatching episodes, and thumping my ideas to see if they're sound. So here's what I've got in the hopper.

-- The Holmes Family, and Children's Lit, and the end of Deus Ex Mycroft I don't even totally know what my thesis is yet, but the basic idea is that TFP was designed to kill the canon and fanon fantasy that Mycroft is an omniscient, omnipotent, and basically benevolent force that can and will bail Sherlock out whenever he gets into trouble. And on top of that, an examination of how obsessed all the Holmes Siblings are with tropes from children's adventure stories: the pirate, the spy, the mad scientist, etc. My hope is that this will help me explain why the Holmes children are so different from their parents – that essentially they ran off to "Never Never Land" and never quite made it back. And also how the show has dealt with gothic tropes in the past, and how that changed in TFP, and why.

*squints*

Okay that might wind up being more than one meta. These ideas *are* connected in my mind, but we'll see.

-- Sherlock and Foucault Basically I want to think about Sherrinford in terms of Foucault's famous critique of prisons, Discipline and Punish, with special emphasis on the Panopticon.

-- Queering the Family in Sherlock I want to take the idea of "Queer Families" as a jumping off point and turn it inside out, to show that on Sherlock, it's not your chosen family but your blood family that winds up being the "queerest" of all. And the importance placed on radical acceptance of blood relatives.

-- Authoritarian Women...? I sort of had this idea about S4 and dominant/authoritarian women, from Eurus to Thatcher all the way back to Queen VIctoria. Maybe Lady Smallwood? idk.

-- Storytellers? I have some vague, unformed thoughts about the concept of "storytellers" in Sherlock – John Watson as the creator of all these stories, plus Moriarty as "the storyteller", Sherlock as a failed or aspiring writer... I'm just saying, there's a lot about writing and being a writer in all these stories. But not sure where I'm going with it, or if there's anything interesting there.

OTHER STUFF

Jek/Hyde -- My first novel (under my own name) is coming out this October! I know that's a long way away, lol, but publishing is slow. It's a reimagning of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story (duh). The writing and editing and everything is all done on this one, but I still need to do some promotional stuff for it??? Not my strong suit, but check out my other blog to see my flailing attempts to introduce people to my book.

ETA: HAHAHA I am so bad at promotional stuff that I forgot to actually link to my other blog: @amydanzigerross

The Seductions of La Paiva – not a porno, despite the title. This is my attempt to write a serious, grown-up novel. It's about a famous 19th century French prostitute who sleeps her way to the top of society and also runs an important salon. It's more feminist/philosophical than sexy, but it's still pretty sexy.

BACKBURNER

Posing Strange – ugh, this book. I love this book and so do all my friends who have read it, but the publishing world is scared of it. It's about a charismatic teenager who convinces his friends to kill their English teacher as part of an occult ritual... but also largely about sex, drugs, magic, and attempts at moral reasoning in an meaningless, uncaring universe. Will most likely never see the light of day, but who knows. Every few years my agent tries to get someone to buy it – maybe one day it will work.

#original post #meme #about me #writing

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baguettelord · 8 years ago

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“How I Write” meme thingy

Ooooooh thankyou @barbex for tagging me :3

Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

Honestly...not really. I’m a savoury sort of person, so chips and biscuits is my deal, but I always get salt or flavourings or even greasy crap over my fingers and it gets in the keyboard and on the mousepad and just ugh...no. Can’t really do that. I do sometimes take breaks to indulge in bad eating habits, though. I do, however, drink a LOT. Usually hot black tea with a crapton of sugar, but depending on the weather I could drink other stuff too.

What time of day do you usually write?

I am TERRIBLE with procrastinating, so I usually start out late morning or just after lunch time and then....get distracted by literally anything for hours on end. I seem to be most productive VERY late at night through to the early hours of the morning where most of the household is asleep, I have free reign of the living area and kitchen and there is no background noise, save from the occasional car outside.

Where do you write?

Back in the day I would be stationed at a computer desk with a tower, but my room is cramped and FREEZING in winter or a literal oven in summer. So more recently I’ve migrated to the kitchen table, which is nestled in a weird little alcove in my house. I also tend to be struck by INTENSE creativity when I should NOT be, like at work or during really bad events like funerals.

How often do you write a new thing?

This is...a problem of mine. I literally had the idea for the fic I’m doing currently in JANUARY. I haven’t even finished the first chapter. :/ I do get ideas fairly regularly but I force myself to shelve them if I’m already working on something important to me. Sadly, this usually ends with a lot of lost ideas. :[

Do you listen to music while you write?

I used to do it a LOT when I started out, in like the first 3 or 4 years? I was more focussed back then. Music inspires me so much, but If I try to write with it in, its usually incredibly distracting. I can occasionally get away with it if I’m playing it very quietly (and practically ignoring it) or if I’m playing something that isn’t super catchy (like nightwish or instrumental music) I get the most out of music by listening to one or two songs just before I start writing and letting my daydreaming run wild with ideas.

Paper or laptop?

I have used computers to write since...maybe 2005-2006? Back in the day my computer(s) were not very reliable so I took to a strange habit of printing out what I’d typed up and writing it into an exercise book. Buut since I finished school, using pens for any length of time hurts my hands (and my handwriting has degenerated) so I just use a laptop now. Its so much better - the editing alone is a HUGE reason to use a laptop, but aside from that, my fingers can move a lot faster on a keyboard than with a pen.

Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

Ehm, its not so much a ritual as it is a series of procrastinations I usually feel the need to partake in? Get home, make food and watch one or two youtube vids (MiniLadd ftw), check facebook, check the news, do some buzzfeed quizzes, jump on tumblr and fuck around for way too long, perhaps listen to some music, get interrupted 1000 times by my mother for various irritating reasons...and then stare at a word doc with a blank mind for at least 20 minutes before forcing words to exist.

What do you do to get into the writing?

A couple of things will bring me inspiration and get the ideas flowing. Music is one - I might listen to a few songs (and occasionally sing as well) whilst indulging in pre-writing procrastination like tumblr and let myself daydream a little. (Also, doing this in the shower is fucking amazing because there’s no distractions) Also, fanart. Seriously. Most of what I write is fanfiction and I find that if I read too much fanfiction when I’m working on something, my work tends to absorb some of other people’s style or wording or ideas. I don’t really like that happening, but I struggle to avoid it. Fanart helps bring fresh ideas into my mind without doing that too much because I can see certain characters in certain depictions and my brain will tell me a story of how they arrived at that situation, or be inspired for other characters entirely. Art always seems to do this really well for me because it gives you a snapshot of a moment in time and you usually have to fill in the blanks yourself. Also, if I’m a little rusty on my topic of writing, I will play the game its related to, or binge watch the series, and never be afraid to look things up. I always seem to work better when its fresh in my mind, especially where canon character behaviour is concerned.

Do you have a reward system for word counts?

No. The value of my work is not relative to its length. I reward myself on completion, regardless of the size of the work. For me, its quality over quantity. That aside, I also struggle a LOT with meeting targets, so setting word count goals puts a lot of stress on me, makes it less enjoyable to write and if I don’t meet the word count...that would be a failure to me. When I set out to write a story, its about creativity and ideas and bringing together elements of a world, characters, places, events to create something beautiful, to touch the reader, to inspire, to make them feel joy, pain, fear, to take them to a world I see in my mind and share with them. It has never been about structure, about time, about numbers, about RULES.

Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

Well, I guess there’s a few things. My English has gone to absolute shite since I left school, and sometimes my words get jumbled coming out of my head. I do my best to proofread, but there’s always something I miss. Don’t ever be afraid to point things out to me that don’t make sense (but also try to keep in mind that I write in Australian English so some spellings are different)

I don’t get around to posting much, and I know this is a problem. This is because a lot of the time my process is very slow. I try hard, but my working environment is full of disruptions and distractions. My home life is...difficult and my mental health can often be a block to productivity. There also isn’t an alternative environment for writing because I have physical and psychological needs to meet.

When I DO finish something and actually post it, YOU, the reader, are what keeps me going. Your views, your kudos, your favourites, reblogs, COMMENTS. If you want more of something? TELL ME. I will write it. Legit. Drop me an ask. I will find a way to incorporate it into a story I’m already writing, or I’ll write a standalone or SOMETHING. You want more dextro-amino romance? Done. You want demons possessing animals? Done. You want an all-women Stargate team? DONE. You might think you’re a viewer, looking at a picture that’s already been done, but no - you have a hand in this too. If not the current work, then a future work!

Tagging: Uhhm @nairje @r-shepard @vorchagirl (you’ve probably already been tagged 1000 years ago but w/e) @idrelle-miocovani (I know you’re on hiatus, but have a thing) (I HAVE NO IDEA WHO TO TAG SO IF YOU WANT TO DO IT, JUST DO IT)

#writing commentary #meme thingy #wtf i dont know what to tag shit as #gdi

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kintailscape · 8 years ago

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CONfabulation 2017

This weekend, I had a wonderful time at CONfabulation, a multi-fandom convention by the people who brought us Wincon. As always, it’s hard to adjust to real life again after several days of being a fangirl at the height of excitement and being uncensored around/among my people. So I thought I’d write it up while the experience is still somewhat fresh.

I headed out on Thursday morning a little earlier than I’d planned. There was a Penguins game that night and the hotel I was heading to was next door to the hockey arena in Pittsburgh, so I was worried about parking. Google said it would take me 4 hours to get there.I left at 10:30am and made it there at 4:45pm; I’m not so sure, but that seems like a little more than 4 hours. But it wasn’t all the fault of traffic or the weather. I did make one wrong turn and had to pay a toll for a road I didn’t even go onto (Grr!) but I got there without too much difficulty, especially once I left Northern Virginia. I was traveling alone this time, as my con friend was unable to get off work, which meant I could stop for snarfs I saw on the side of the road along the way. I earread Magnus Chase and the Sword of Summer by Rick Riorden during the drive.

When I got to Pittsburgh, the traffic wasn’t all that bad, but it was FILLED with Penguins fans. As a Capitals fan, it was a bit stomach-churning to witness. Luckily, the hotel had self-parking spots available. So I checked in and then unloaded, realizing on my last trip that I’d left the giant bag of food I’d bought at home! Arg! I settled into my hotel room within two minutes (I never really unpack much). My room had a giant space in it (where another bed or a table once was, I assume, or else it was for playing Twister).

I headed down for the meet & greet and ended up sharing two fandoms (Carry On and Grantchester) during small fandom speed dating. I also wrote down several fandoms I now definitely need to put on the high priority list. Then I joined a few people who were heading out to a 7-11 in order to stock up on food. We learned a lot about Pittsburgh City Center during our exploration including: streets are layered, hilly, and confusing; alcohol cannot be purchased at 7-11, and all stores close ridiculously early. I stocked up on some protein bars, bananas, and cereal for the week, then we ventured out to find an open liquor store. Three stores later, we found one that was still open (it was 7:15pm). I also found a good handful of historical markers; my new friends helped me spot them.

We got back to the hotel and I knew from the sight of the downstairs and the streets packed with Penguins fans that I didn’t want to go back out (besides, everything seemed closed). So I spent the night in my room watching Doctor Who episodes, writing fanfiction, reading Outlander, and eating room service. Every so often I checked the hockey score and, when the Pens unfortunately won, the streets outside my hotel room exploded with noise. Ugh. Not where I wanted to be, that’s for sure.

I had a rough night sleep-wise, so I was glad to have my Always Keep Fighting hoodie to snuggle up in Friday morning.

Friday Morning Schedule:

10:00am–10:30am Dealer room I hit the dealer room and bought a few presents, items for future swaps, and something for myself. I also picked up the custom order I made from NightengaleNeedles for a pillow. It turned out so nicely! I had to run it back up to my room so that I wouldn’t fall asleep in panels with it. heehee

10:30am–11:00am Opening Ceremonies Yay! We made it here!

11:00am–12:00pm Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 20 years Later Panelists started by playing the theme song, which definitely got us in the Buffy mood. We had a good time talking about our favorite characters, moments, and episodes as well as discussing the uniqueness of the show itself. It was wonderful to find there were quite a few Spander shippers there, including among the panelists. We all pretty much agreed Spike is the fandom bicycle, but we meant it with love of course. I also liked the discussion about how the show highlighted the concept of inventing yourself and that change is possible without losing your friends.

12:00pm–1:00pm Plushie Workshop I We had to start from scratch as bodies weren’t pre-made, and deciding what to make took me a while, but this was a much needed fun crafting break up in the Quiet Craft room that happened to also be on my floor of the hotel.

I headed out with a new friend to find Jimmy Johns for lunch. After walking in the wrong direction and stressing about time, we ended up at a pizza place on the other side of the block from our hotel where several con attendees were also eating. I had a veggie hoagie, which I ate while walking back to the con and finished during the next session.

Friday Afternoon Schedule:

2:00pm–3:00pm Ohana Means Family This was the found family panel, and we started off by trying to define found families (does joining an existing family like Harry joining the Weasleys count? do they have to have a parental figure?). I adored the discussion of non-human species (like werewolves) who have a sense of otherness already who need to seek out others for a shared experience (I love a good wolf pack). We also discussed the many different ways they come about—choice, workplace, survivalism, world-saving, etc. Other discussion topics included how fandom is our found family, subsets within families, the greater diversity in a found family compared to biological family, how people with different skill sets help each other, and if there are any found families lately without tragic backstories. You get a tragic backstory! You get a tragic backstory! Look under your chairs, everyone get s a tragic backstory! I was THRILLED to get to talk Sense8 for a while! Squee!

3:00pm–4:00pm A Galaxy Far, Far Away We started off by sharing our own Star Wars origin stories, and it was neat seeing the diversity in the group (and also finding others who like the Ewoks). We talked about ships and ships as well. I’m clearly going to have to properly make my way through the Darths and Droids Webcomic. And we ended with discussion of The Last Jedi (SPOILERS!!!!!!) including how even though Finn is wearing Poe’s entire outfit it doesn’t necessarily indicate that Poe is naked, though there is a strong case for such.

4:00pm–5:00pm Vid Show The vid show was wonderful; I’d seen only two of the vids before (and as one was Leverage with my OT3 and to an Ingrid Michealson song, I certainly didn’t mind seeing it again). I was utterly destroyed by Darcy’s SG-1 Jack/Daniel vid entitled “Living Alone” and had to break out the tissue pack almost at once. So good!

As I had no one to do dinner with, I worked on my plushie a little and then went back to the only food place I knew was open and ordered a salad (healthy) and onion rings (my weakness). I sewed through dinner and got the body done (even though I had to reinforce the crotch better after stuffing him).

Then I got ready for the masquerade. I wore my Marauder’s Map dress with Marauder’s Map pin on my badge, Marauder’s Map bow in my hair, and the actual Maurader’s Map as a necklace. (I maybe like the marauders a bit, you know) I also had a black mask I bought with the cape I wore to the Walk to End HIV a few years back when the theme was superheros. I discovered upon arrival that I had taken the masquerade title too literally and I was only one of a few who had masks. Still, it went with the outfit and made me feel a little bolder to be hiding behind a mask, so I kept it on. There was a mashed potatoes bar and a dessert bar as well, and the decorations were wonderful. I had a lot of nice conversations with people, including getting to geek out on Classic Who (and ask some questions about it… and get some lovely audiobook recs) and catch up with one of my favorite fellow hurt/comfort writers. I don’t like dances much and attempted to retire to the fandom lounge for button-making with friends like last Wincon, but it was locked up. Drat! So we headed back to the dance. I did dance to the Time Warp, because that one has scripted dance moves. And I danced to the last song with everyone, which was Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'” (so perfect, though were were a little iffy on which verse was which LOL).

Oh, the movie never ends It goes on and on, and on, and on … Don’t stop believin’ Hold on to that feelin’

I went back to my room after the masquerade and worked for 2 hours on my plushie while watching Doctor Who. I finished up watching the Fifth Doctor’s episodes! I also discovered I cut the underwear too small for my plushie. Then I went to bed at 2am.

I got up at 9 in order to eat breakfast and get down to the dealer room as soon as possible.

Saturday Morning Schedule:

10:00am–10:30am Dealer’s Room My friend put in a request for merch and I was hoping to squeeze it in before the morning panels. However, the dealers didn’t all get there early, so I ended up missing half of the first panel. I also dropped a few BookCrossing books on tables in the fandom lounge to give away. Worth it, though. The dealer had the thing my friend wanted AND I ended up buying things from pretty much all the other dealers. Good start to a morning indeed!

10:30am–11:00am Disability in Media A LOT less angry and complainy than most of the disability panels I’ve attended at other cons. There was a lot of talk of positive examples and analysis of things. That was refreshing to hear. I’m sorry I missed the part where they discussed Bashir because, I mean, Bashir, right?

11:00am–12:00pm Invisible Unicorns I had the HARDEST time figuring out this time slot. It was up against Book Recs for the People (I adore books) and Totally 80s Toons (possibly my only chance to talk about my first fandom with people: Pound Puppies). I asked the panelist heading from Disability in Media to Totally 80s Toons to please NOT discuss Pound Puppies because missing such a discussion would break my heart. Then I stayed in the roundtable room for Invisible Unicorns, where we talked about bi, ace, pan, etc. representations in fandoms. The session was so well attended we had to keep grabbing more chairs. LOL It was wonderful. I came out with a LOT to think about. We talked about the whole “prove it!” thing and the problematic usage of “born this way.” One thing I had never heard put into words before was how there is a shorthand for sex onscreen but no shorthand for things like asexual romance (YET!). There were also some hilarious moments i.e. “Once you cross the het barrier at knotting…” “That is NOT where the het barrier is.”

12:00pm–1:00pm Plushie Workshop II I was considering going to MCU, but I’m behind on S.H.I.E.L.D. and haven’t seen the second Guardians yet, so I decided to craft. I had big plans: Finish the head, make new underwear, make the suit jacket, sew the head on to finish it. I managed the first 2 of 4. I made the suit jacket then discovered it’s just a little too small. Drat! I’ll have to redo part of it. But it was definitely another nice break. Except now I have what looks like a headless Morman and not a Ianto Jones yet. One lovely attendee brought a ton of little figures, and we had fun going through them, sorting them by property, and selecting a few. I got a couple for myself and one for a friend. At the end of the day, after everyone else had a chance to look through them (and they were no longer sorted) I took a few more.

I worked on my plushie through lunch (thanks to snacks from 7-11) then headed to afternoon sessions.

Saturday Afternoon Schedule:

2:00pm–3:00pm OT3: A Love Story We listed our favorite OT3s in fandom (Leverage, Force Awakens, White Collar, Haven, Marvel, Sense8, etc.) I ship some very rare OT3s so I didn’t bring them up (Wolverine/Iron Man/Captain America; Sherlock/Watson/Lestrade) but it was fun hearing about other people’s ships. We discussed why OT3s are the best (solves love triangle problems, avoids ship wars, solves problem of killing off awesome female characters). We also talked about dynamics of OT3s (relationship negotiations–swoon!, soulmate AUs, imperfect moments, overlap with found families, inviting someone to join, etc.). And, of course, this lovely quote “My fandoms have orgies all the time” which pretty much sums up my writing style. LOL

3:00pm–4:00pm Fandom as Genre This one was interesting, and I’m very glad I went. What’s unique to fandom that makes it its own thing and makes it special? Some topics of discussion included: ability to have different versions of the same character, ability to have different settings/situations with the same characters, ability to explore minor characters, having less exposition (already know the shared universe, history, appearances, etc.), POV differences, how much of the community aspect is needed to make it fanfiction, the difference between authorized tie-in novels and fanfiction, why we write fanfiction (for ourselves or for a certain population that knows certain things already about the source material), what we’re allowed to write in a fandom vs. what is taboo, how A/B/O originated in fandom, and the concept of headers/tag wranglers. Some quotes I liked included “Fanfic is the only place characters go into the bedroom and come out as the same people,” “We need to make supernatural disgusting again!” and “We’ve come a long way from ‘we’re not gay, we just love each other.'” There was also a question raised regarding what is at the core of a character that makes him recognizable and feel like the same character when everything around is different?

4:00pm–4:30pm Charity Raffle The charity was Planned Parenthood, and people were generous both in the donating of items and in the buying of raffle tickets. I bought $40 in raffle tickets, so I was expecting to win a few things (especially as a few things I put tickets in for only had one or two tickets in the cup). I didn’t get the Ace scarf I really wanted and put a lot of tickets in for, but I did get a bunch of things, including a Martha plushie (who can hang out with Ianto, once he’s done–the Joneses!), tons of comics (including some Archies, Buffys, Marvel, and more), a Donatello figure (he’s my turtle), a Spider-man hat, and some gorgeous fannish jewelry. I was also super happy to see the items I donated to the raffle go to people who will love them. One super nice new friend gave me something she won in the raffle and had two of. Squee!

After the raffle, I bought a few things from the other vendor I hadn’t purchased from yet (I’d frankly been avoiding her booth because I wanted every single thing she had for sale and didn’t trust myself). I ended up with a few buttons I’d never seen before and a super soft Kaylee Bear. I thought about also buying the Jayne Bear, but I just couldn’t do it without a Simon Bear to ship with him. #noregrets.

A few of us stayed in the fandom lounge to finally take advantage of the button machine. Making buttons was one of my favorite parts of Wincon, and it was fun to have one of my button-making friends back as well as some new button-making friends joining the crew. We had a great time going through stickers and magazines, looking for things we wanted. I made a kickass perfect RuPaul button that is sort of now my favorite. I also made an Alexander Hamilton button and a kitty King George button to go with him. And some others, of course. We were at it for a little over 2 hours. It was such fun seeing the creative things people made!

I had just enough time to pop over to Jimmy Johns (found it this time!) before it closed (it was only 7:20, mind you!) and get back to the con in time for the trivia contest. I’d planned on just watching, but I got roped into playing. Glad I did; I even knew a few of the answers, like what century Outlander was in. However, I feel SHAME forever for saying “Flashverse” instead of “Flashpoint.” I will never shake off that shame. I was proud to be able to answer the question about all the Weasley siblings (including next generation) and probably could have done the hockey siblings one, but two people on my team JUMPED at that, so I let them have at it. I’m also sad I couldn’t remember the names of the Hansons! Terrible fangirling on my part; I’m just not good at remembering things when there are time constraints! In all, we had a great team and we came in second… though later I heard we misgraded another team’s paper and actually came in third. Just like the Puffs play says “Third or nothing!!!”

After trivia was Badfic Idol. My fic “Five Times Something Happened and One Time Something Else Happened” was read at the beginning. It was my first attempt and it didn’t win first place or even second. But it did get some laughs. And my friend appreciated the Picard on a Horse inside joke from Wincon I threw in there. Actually, 80% of the fic was thought up during Wincon a few years back, so it was fun to share it. Instead of the judges giving their thoughts after each fic like last time, they gave them all at once at the end, which was a little more confusing, but we got there in the end. The winning fic had no words and was written only in emojis starting with policeman knife fireman and ending with sailboat. I mean… sailboat, you know? That’s a damn powerful ending. Definitely deserved to win! It was a great event; all the stories were hilarious; I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. And the judges’ comments were amazing!

After Badfic Idol, I stuck around for a game of Cards Against Humanity. I actually won a round, which was great. I played some fantastic cards but just the one win. Everyone was bringing their best to the game, and it was definitely a hoot.

I headed back to my room and packed up so everything would be ready the next morning.

On Sunday, I woke at 8:45 sleepy but fine (one nice thing about never drinking is not worrying about con morning hangovers). I finished packing and, once again, headed to the dealer’s room for a morning purchase. I had forgotten a button I HAD to buy a friend and, luckily, there were still a few left (in various styles). Score! I’m not posting the photos of things I bought for people, BTW, because that would spoil the surprises.

Sunday Morning Schedule:

10:00am–11:00am The State of Fandom I had to ask but, yes, everyone agreed that LJ is DEAD. Someone suggested Pillowfort, which is like Tumblr only fixes all the problems Tumblr has and lets you have actual conversations. Someone else suggested Pinboard for bookmarking. We talked a lot about building our “brands” and the differences between us oldtimers and the new internet generation in terms of privacy concerns. We also talked about things like how releasing whole seasons at once erases that anticipation we once had for week-to-week shows, how there used to be a fannish code and norms that get passed down but are being challenged now culturally, and how freakin awesome Fanlore is.

11:00am–12:00pm Hamilton: Who Tells Your Story? We started off talking about race and how it puts so many marginalized groups back into the narrative of our country. Then we went into discussions about gender (how women are in the war scenes and how it’s kind of Eliza’s story, or would be if she were in it more). I loved the point one person made about how in Revolutionary War times, a person’s writing style was uniquely identifiable just the way the musical styles for each character are uniquely identifiable for us today in the musical. I was shocked that more people hadn’t read the Ron Chernow book, and I was going to recommend it for people who write Hamilton fanfic, but then the discussion moved on (it’s filled with amazing details like the fact that Hamilton & Eliza had a dog named “Old Peggy” and how Washington’s aides usually shared beds at camp). But we did talk about how the American narrative actually wasn’t as rose-colored as we thought and how the musical humanizes history. Some recommendations included the book Colony in a Nation by Chris Hayes, the Stuff You Missed in History Class podcast, and a Sleepy Hollow crossover where Alexander Hamilton comes forth into modern day and is stuck here. Also, I was given a rec that has Asexual!Dom!Washington and subby!Hamilton that is currently my favorite Hamilton fic EVER!

12:00pm–1:00pm Family Affairs: Incest in Fandom Was great to end the con with a good ol’ incest panel! We talked about our first and favorite pairings. I asked about Bates Motel because I LOVE me some Bates Motel and was told the fanfic is not good, which wasn’t too surprising. We also talked about what makes incest fic good and the different kinds (I’m in love with the term Gencest now!).

1:00pm–1:35pm Closing Ceremonies I had to leave during the closing event, because of my hotel checkout time and because I wanted to get home before it got too dark, but it was nice being there for part of it. And people waved to me as I left, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy. The con com did an amazing job putting this together and making it special and unique. I really hope the next Confab Con is somewhere close to me so I can attend it!

On my way home, I attempted to find some postcards of Pittsburgh to send to people and struck out everywhere I looked. I picked up a grilled cheese with onions and some more onion rings (did I mention I was driving home alone?) as well as a frozen slushie drink at Sheetz. My GPS wanted me to go one way that was blocked off with a detour, so I took the scenic route out of Pittsburgh and quite enjoyed the drive. Then I ended up on 40 heading to a big snarf stop I’d seen when I was driving up but couldn’t stop for because I’d been worried about Penguins game parking. I finished earreading Magnus Chase and the Sword of Summer and put on In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson by Bette Bao Lord, which I also ended up finishing on the drive. So then I started Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson.

I found the historical markers (snarfs) I’d been looking for and discovered it was General Braddock’s grave. Just down the street from that was Fort Necessity. I thought about just doing a drive-by with it and coming back some other time. I even went into the park, drove around the lot, and then went back to the highway again. Then I decided to just do it and went to the fort. I was still on a Hamilton high, and what better way to end my con weekend but with a George Washington fuckup? The park ranger was sad to inform me that the reenactments were all done for the day and that there was only one showing of the film left; I didn’t really care about either. I went through the museum and headed out to the fort. Apparently the Braddock Road by my home is, actually, the very same one I’d been driving on for an hour up in Pennsylvania. I snarfed all the signs and took some nice shots of the fort, the tavern, and the monuments. Hopefully no one thought less of me in my wearing my Hamilton/Harry Potter mash-up t-shirt.

I found a few more historical markers on the drive home, stopped for gas in the little town that literally has an interstate running right through its middle just above it, and got home around 8:30. My cats were happy to see me, and Ozma kitten has already claimed my CONfabulation bag as her own.

CONfabulation 2017 was originally published on The Fangirl Project

#thefangirlproject

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fluffi · 4 years ago

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so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

#long post #also im listening to love song right now haha i love it so much #also sorry for not answering yesterday hhh i got busy last night #「 asks 」#moots — [♡] ;#toffee — [♡] ;#neo-shitty

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