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#I want to be loved in such a way that responsibility can be a shared burden rather than one I must lift entirely off their shoulders
ellecdc · 3 days
Note
About the onde bed trope… since there aren’t a lot of those, I was wondering if you could write one with reader and wolfstar? Maybe a smut or just something fluff
hi babes! so I got this request right after someone had asked for recommendations for one-bed tropes, which I had only ever read one and shared it. SO, I wanted to remind everyone of the cute wolfstar x reader one bed fic I read by @longlivedelusion, and know that while I'm happy to contribute to this super fun trope with our lovely wolfstar, that it was more than likely inspired by their awesome work linked above!
poly!wolfstar x Potter!reader who have to share a bed [2.8k words]
CW: mutual pining, feelings of 3rd wheeling, fluff, potter family
The hotel was bustling with what appeared to be just as many staff as there were patrons waiting in the lobby.
Bags were being whisked away, key cards were being handed to waiting hands, and nearly every second person was wearing a Manchester United jersey. 
James was positively giddy and practically vibrating with excitement, Lily and Regulus had their faces shoved into Lily’s phone as they (re)read the itinerary they had planned for James’ birthday trip, Remus arched his shoulders as he let his duffle fall to the ground and Sirius murmured promises of a back massage when they got to their room, and you people watched. 
Your parents had given James (and all of his friends) tickets to the Manchester home game and a few nights stay at a posh hotel close to the stadium.
Lily and Regulus, being James’ dutiful partners, planned other things for the lot of you to do while you were here, too.
Right now, however, you wanted nothing more than to get to your room, take a shower to wash the train off of your being, and go to sleep.
Mercifully the check in counter cleared and your group stepped up to the waiting concierge. 
“Hi there! We’re checking in for Potter; group of six.” Lily offered primly as she handed the man a copy of the booking number. 
“Right! Okay, so Potter, two rooms, each with a king, for three nights.” The man read from the screen, looking over in concern when six varied protests sounded from the group.
“No, I’m quite sure it’s meant to be three rooms.” Lily corrected quickly, offering you a worried glance before she nearly leaned over the welcome desk to peer at the computer monitor as if she was ready to take over for the concierge. 
The man hummed as he continued tapping keys and clicking his mouse and scrolling and please for the love of God don’t let there be a mix up.
It was going to be you that was the problem; not Lily and Regulus who were counting on a romantic trip to celebrate their boyfriend, and not Remus and Sirius with their long-established relationship and promises of Remus’ massage.
“The booking is only showing two rooms, uhm, let me just confirm with my manager that I’m not missing anything.” He bumbled awkwardly before standing and all but fleeing from the group of you. 
“It’s probably just a mistake.” James offered quickly as he jostled your shoulder. “With this many people here, the system is probably just lagging.”
But it wasn’t just a mistake and the system wasn’t just lagging and there was very much only two rooms booked under Potter.
“Is there any way we can book a third room? It can go on the same card.” You asked meekly, nervously glancing between the manager and the computer. 
“Unfortunately, the hotel is entirely booked.” She offered you with a pained smile, and just from your survey of the lobby while you’d been waiting in line, you knew that had to be true. 
“Do you have any cots we could have sent up to the rooms?” Lily asked hopefully, earning another grimace from the manager which was all the response you needed.
You could feel the group looking at you awkwardly and you immediately regretted even coming; you should have just left James to celebrate his birthday with his partners and best friends and stayed out of it, but instead, you were the troublesome younger sibling who your parents forced the group to bring along. Maybe you could catch a train back home? Maybe you could catch a train a town or two over and just have your own mini vacation and leave them to their celebrations.
“Don’t worry, bug!” James said as he rubbed your arm roughly before reaching over you to grab the keys to the two rooms from the concierge who was clearly now only waiting for the lot of you to bugger off so he could help the people behind you. “We’ll make this work.”
“You shouldn’t have to make it work, Jamie.” You moaned as your group moved to stand against a wall across the lobby as you all tried to problem solve this. 
“Both rooms have just one bed each, right? Do either of them have a sofa?” Regulus asked first.
“The pictures online didn’t look like it; the rooms had the bed, one grandfather chair, and a desk with a rolling desk chair.” Lily responded. 
“Okay, well, both rooms have king sized beds, we can share.” Sirius offered simply, causing you to nearly whimper.
“I’m not going to impose on anyone’s beds.” You murmured as you stared resolutely at your feet.
“You can share with me! It’ll be like the old days when we’d have a “sleepover” in the living room!” James offered excitedly, and you had to hand it to him for his sense of adventure and enthusiasm, but you couldn’t help but notice the quick glance Lily and Regulus shared.
“It’s your birthday weekend, Jamie, you should get to spend it with your partners.”
“Okayyyy, uhm, what about the girls room together and boys room together?” He offered instead, causing Lily to furrow her brows at him.
“But then two of us will be sharing while four of you will be sharing.” She countered, followed up quickly by Regulus who stated he would not, under any circumstances, be sharing a bed with his brother. 
“No, you’re right, erm, well… Me, Pads, and Moony could share-”
“James, I love you, but you’re terrible at this.” Sirius interrupted before turning his gaze to you. “You should just stay with me and Moons; leave these three to their…canoodling.” He said around a theatrical gag. 
“You guys were probably looking forward to a romantic stay too.” You muttered somewhat petulantly, and that was what nearly brought you to the brink of tears.
Not that you were the figurative sixth wheel, not that you were left without a room and imposing on two relationships, and not even that you felt particularly out of place.
No, the thing that nearly brought you to tears was the fact that you were acting so petulant on your brother's birthday which he had been so incredibly excited for.
You would not ruin this for him, for any of them. 
“No, you know what, sorry, you’re right, Sirius. I’ll pile the extra bedding they keep in the closets and make myself a little nest on the floor, it’ll be like camping!” You decided, pasting on the widest smile you could muster. 
You swore you saw Sirius’ face fall slightly but powered on when James was back to clapping his hands together excitedly. “Brilliant! This will be so fun, and so worth it, bug. Don’t you worry.”
And you were worried, but he didn’t need to know that. 
ʚ ═══·୨ ꕤ ୧·═══ ɞ
“You’re not actually going to sleep on the floor, right doll?” Sirius asked after the hotel door shut with a click behind him as he glanced around the room. 
It was perhaps a bit tight, but if you set up your little nest underneath the window, neither boy should trip over you in the middle of the night should they need to use the loo.
“Oh it’ll be fine.” You offered in what you hoped was convincing nonchalance. 
“I really think the bed is big enough, dove. And Sirius usually latches onto me in the night so you shouldn’t even notice we’re there.” Remus offered gently, watching as you flung the closet doors open to procure the extra bedding. 
“S’not my fault, moons.” Sirius countered as he trailed right on your heels to where you were trying to make your ‘nest’. “You keep the thermostat so sodding low, I’d simply freeze to death if you didn’t share your body heat.”
He ignored your indignant “oi!” as he immediately plucked your pillows and blankets off the floor from where you’d placed them and moved them to the end of the bed. “And, I think you do that on purpose; you like cuddling.” He continued, gently swatting at your hands as you tried to reclaim your makeshift bed. 
“Oh, I love cuddling.” Remus agreed readily, clearly ignoring the fact that you and Sirius were currently in a petty squabble over linens. “What I don’t like is being jolted awake to your ice cold feet being shoved under my thighs at three o'clock in the morning- dove.” He gave you a pointed look with one arched eyebrow as you huffed petulantly and crossed your arms. 
“You are not sleeping on the floor, doll. Your parents paid for the sodding rooms.” Sirius claimed resolutely. 
“They were meant to pay for three rooms so that you two would have some privacy.” You argued.
“You’re really the only one upset about this, babes.” He stated, face softening when you nervously pulled your lip between your teeth. “If you’re worried about space, I’ll take the floor.”
“I don’t want you to take the floor.”
“Then I’ll take-” Remus started, but was interrupted when both you and Sirius spat “you’re not sleeping on the floor, Remus” and “like fuck you’re sleeping on the floor, don’t be ridiculous”, respectively. 
“So those are your choices, sweetheart; I take the floor or we share the bed.” 
After this many years of knowing each other, you knew when Sirius was bluffing, and you knew when it was better to fold; with the no nonsense look that currently adorned his face, you knew that those were, indeed, your only options.
You looked over at the bed wearily; it really was quite large…and you could use your own blanket so that you weren’t encroaching on their space or stealing their blankets. 
The problem was that the bed wasn’t the only problem. It also was very much the fact that you were pretty well completely gone for two of your brothers best friends.
Two of your brothers best friends who were very much dating each other. 
Two of your brothers best friends who were dating each other that you were completely gone for and now forced to share a bed with them. 
Awesome. 
ʚ ═══·୨ ꕤ ୧·═══ ɞ
Sirius just about died when you stepped out of the bathroom with wet hair leaving damp patches on your sleep shirt and your legs on full display thanks to the matching shorts.
He just about died again when you caught him staring at you.
He nearly died a third time when Remus’ pointed clearing of his throat was what finally broke him from the trance you had on him; both he and Remus now red in the face while you looked to be fairing little better as you hid behind your wet hair and fussed with your toiletries instead of looking at either of them.
Sirius felt horribly pathetic - years of living with the Potter’s did absolutely nothing to dim the flame he held for you, nor did the physical space that living with Remus in their own flat for the past few years offered him.
The only thing that made his infatuation slightly less embarrassing was the fact that Remus held a similar flame for you, too. 
So while this was sort of everything he’d ever wanted - spending the night in a bed with two people he was absolutely crazy about - he was equally afraid of making you horribly uncomfortable. 
“Smooth.” Remus muttered as he came up behind Sirius only after you’d gone back into the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sirius wanted to turn and sneer at his boyfriend. “I know I am” danced on the tip of his tongue; his usual suave blaseness in all its glory rearing its head at the insinuation that Sirius was anything but a certified charmer.
But all that managed to leave Sirius’ lips was a breathy “fuck” as he stared decisively at the space you’d been standing previously.
But before Sirius could spend any (more) time spiralling or Remus could offer words of encouragement (or commiseration), you were tentatively sliding into what the three of you had agreed would be your side.
Your side. 
The sentiment made Sirius stomach dip; after all these years he was finally getting a taste of what he’d always wanted.
Yet it wasn’t enough.
The lights were off and Sirius’ back was pressed into Remus’ chest as they both watched the steady rise and fall of your shoulders as you slept. They’d both felt so tired on the train ride here, yet neither of them could bring themselves to close their eyes when the alternative was getting to see you rest in their bed.
“Is this really happening?” Remus whispered quietly then, causing Sirius to snuggle impossibly further into him.
“Feels like a dream.” Sirius whispered back; his hand itching to reach out and twirl a lock of your drying hair around his finger, to encourage you to roll over so that they could see your pretty face, to pull you into him and hold you close. 
Remus tightened his hold around Sirius and pushed his nose into his shoulder. “We should tell her; need to tell her… this weekend.” 
Sirius shook his head, but it wasn’t in disagreement. Rather, it was in exasperation.
“I can’t believe she can’t tell how crazy we are about her.” 
And Sirius nearly died a fourth time in one night when you seemingly shot up out of a dead sleep and spun to face them. 
“You’re what?” You asked; no hints of sleep in your tone (nor your wild eyes) as you stared at them incredulously. 
“Fuck.” Sirius repeated eloquently as he and Remus both sat up, the latter leaning over to turn on a lamp causing both you and Sirius to wince as your eyes adjusted.
“I thought you were asleep?” Sirius accused then, but you didn’t take the bait. 
“You’re…what about me?” You whispered carefully.
“Crazy.” Remus responded quickly; whether he was braver than Sirius or opting to rip the bandaid off, Sirius didn’t know. “We’re crazy about you.”
You made a breathy sound, almost as if you were going to ask “what” or “why” or “when” before the question died on your lips. 
Sirius stared at you in wait; he didn’t know whether you were about to cry, whether you were going to demand they let you build a ‘nest’ on the floor so you could escape them, or whether you were going to call your folks and ask them to pick you up.
So when your face broke out into a slow, still disbelieving but equally relieved grin, well…he’d be damned. 
“Yeah?” You asked hopefully, eyes swimming with unshed tears as you nervously looked between the two of them. 
“Yeah…” Sirius let out with a breath, daring to reach across the expanse of the bed that the three of you had clearly decided would be a no-man zone and delighting when you eagerly accepted his hand in yours.
“We thought you were asleep, dove.” Remus offered gently, and a shy smile crept across your face as you shook your head, a lone tear trailing down your cheek that your free hand was quick to wipe away.
“Couldn’t.”
“Why not?” Sirius cooed pathetically, rubbing along your knuckles with his thumb as he took your inability to sleep to be a personal offence. 
“Was too busy thinking about how crazy I am about the two of you, too.” You admitted in a whisper, and Sirius wondered if he had even frozen long enough to share more than a 0.35 second glance with Remus before he bodily launched himself and tackled you to the bed before peppering your face with kisses as you squealed.
“You mean-” kisses “to tell me-” more kisses as you giggled “that we could have been doing this” you squealed as he nipped at your collar bone “this whole sodding time!?” 
“Oi!” Remus chided teasingly. “Don’t maul her!” Though his statement was severely undermined when he all but pulled you into his lap to press his own rough kiss to the side of your face. 
“Oh, I’m just getting started.” Sirius threatened with a beaming smile as you looked at him breathlessly; eyes bright, smile wide, and heart full. “We have lost time to make up for.” 
ʚ ═══·୨ ꕤ ୧·═══ ɞ
Enough was enough, quite frankly. The tiptoeing, the dancing, the shy glances, the longing looks - it was all too much.
Something simply needed to be done.
Was it temerarious? Perhaps. Was it conniving? More than slightly. But was it also necessary? Most definitely.
She only hoped that she hadn’t gone too far, is all.
But any worries that Euphemia Potter may have had vanished entirely the second that her phone buzzed with a text from James the next morning that simply read: it worked.
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thefrogman · 18 hours
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Back in the olden days, if you used the "keep reading" function on a Tumblr-dot-com post, it would
not get very many notes.
At all.
I am not sure exactly why.
I think people hated pressing an extra thing.
But maybe it was also a psychological phenomenon where, given the choice, they were unwilling to trust me with their time.
But if I sucked them in with a good story or a compelling image, they would get serious FOMO.
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When I created a super high effort post-of-length I would get comments like, "This was way too long but before I realized it I was reading the last sentence."
That was a really good feeling.
I used to do tests to figure out the best posting strategies and I think I figured out you'd lose about 90% of your notes if you did a "keep reading" post.
So that notion was ingrained in my brain again and again from when I was very note-obsessed and I have since avoided the "keep reading" option almost like a conditioned response.
Just seeing that squiggly line appear still induces a Pavlovian fear.
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But that was probably a decade ago and I did a new experiment. My story about replacing my mailbox did reasonably well with a strategically clickbaity "keep reading."
This was a promising result due to the fact that some people like to send me hate for writing a lengthy post.
I recently got a death threat for writing too much, which was a fun reminder of my M&M days (I melted men's rights activists' brains with a poorly worded analogy and they launched a years long harassment campaign).
It seems in present-era-Tumblr-dot-com many more people prefer pressing an extra thing rather than scrolling a bunch on their smartphone. The collective behavior has changed. And maybe I don't need to use tricks and running gags in order to get folks to "keep reading".
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Unfortunately I started writing that ring light post a few months ago so I wasn't able to include that in the experiment. But I am going to try using the keep reading function in the future and as long as the average number of folks that usually read my longer posts continue to read my posts, that will be the standard approach.
I also tag these posts with "long post" so you can flag that if you wish.
While I am no longer in the audience-building phase of my Tumblr career, these essays and stories and educational posts take a considerable amount of time and effort to create, so I do want to make sure everyone who wants to read them is able to. But posts without hearts and reblogs can quickly die a gruesome algorithmic death. Even my most ardent followers would tell me things were not showing up on their dash. (I think replies help mitigate that, so if you like a long post, you can help with engagement.)
The collective noun is a "business" of ferrets.
Do you want to see a business of ferrets ready to do some business?
KEEP READING
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I love writing and it is a huge catharsis for me. And I love sharing any knowledge I feel like I have the earned expertise to speak on with authority (technology, photography, light, fun ferret facts, etc). I wish I had the energy to be a photography teacher, but long posts on Tumblr are probably the best I can do for now.
I know my posts are super long, but I try to make them as fun and informationally dense as I possibly can. I don't like wasting people's time if I can avoid it. Though maybe I should trust my follower's attention span a bit more. I have this fear that if I am not constantly entertaining, people will click away or unfollow.
I think a good business for a business of ferrets would be selling pool noodles that look like ferrets.
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So as long as I get roughly the same amount of notes I will do the keep reading. And then maybe people can lay off on the mean comments and occasional requests to end my own life because I bloviated about soft light.
100% true ferret fact..
If you ask a ferret what their business is, they will crawl on your shoulder and whisper in your ear...
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yan-lorkai · 2 days
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I'm very normal about Idia, guys. Being his friend would be great, I just know. Yet he is an interesting character to me so at the same time he'd want you to spend all the time by his side, he also idolizes a version of you, smth smth I love him, enjoy this <3
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Warning: Yandere content, control and manipulation tendencies, guilt tripping, gn!reader
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Idia becomes intensely possessive when he first make friends with you, something he’s not used to. His loyalty runs deep and he expects the same in return, often feeling jealous and anxious if you spends time with "the normies", as he likes to call them. He tries to monopolize your attention by filling your days with online games, late-night chats and gossip sessions and anime marathons, making it difficult for you to spend time with anyone else. He even try your blogs if it is something he can do inside his or your room.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Sometimes he beg you to spend the day in his room, studying online as he does, when he is dealing with a particularly bad day - which are slowly turning into a daily thing.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ While Idia doesn’t confront people directly, he’s skilled at subtly manipulating you. If you mention hanging out with someone else, he’ll sulk or act overly dramatic, making you feel guilty for not spending time with him. He wants youto believe you’re the only one, besides Ortho and his family, who truly understands him, ensuring that you stay close. His tech expertise also gives him an advantage over you as he keeps tabs on your online activity, always aware of who you’re talking to or what you’re doing when you are away from him. And if you tell about how suffocating is to be with someone like him or something like that, Idia will make little changes in himself so you won't be bothered by how he acts.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ To further isolate you, Idia draws you deeper into his world, introducing rare games and niche interests that only he can share with you. If you try to make plans outside your usual routine, he’ll always have something special, a one time offer that you simply can't resist. Deep down, his tendencies come from a deep fear of rejection. He’s terrified of being abandoned and he believes the only way to secure your friendship is to make you depend on him as much as he depends on you. He wants to be your hero, strong, fierce, yet he turns into your villain, your tormentor.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ As the friendship deepens, Idia’s clinginess becomes more apparent, though he tries to hide it behind his usual awkwardness. He starts to get anxious whenever you doesn’t respond immediately to messages, bombarding you with worried texts or even calling, something he normally hates doing. When you finally reply, he plays it off but the relief he feels is palpable. He needs that constant reassurance that you’re still there, still close to him, that you still like him.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Idia’s jealousy, though subtle, can become intense. If he notices you are growing closer to someone else, he starts planting doubts in your mind, making snide comments or pointing out flaws in the new person’s behavior. His aim is always to make sure you realizes that no one will ever be as loyal or understanding as he is. He never wants to be obvious about it but his bitterness leaks out in small doses, enough to make his friend second-guess their other relationships.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ When things don’t go as planned, Idia retreats into self-pity, making you feel responsible for his mood. He might withdraw entirely, going quiet for days at a time, only to return with cryptic messages about feeling “left behind” or how much he hates being alone. This emotional tug-of-war keeps you constantly on edge, never wanting to hurt him or push him away, which only feeds into Idia’s control over you. Wether you realize what he does or not, Idia will always find a way to have control over you, no matter what.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Despite his fear of being too obvious, there are times when Idia’s obsession shows more openly. He might create custom in-game avatars of you, carefully crafting you to reflect his idealized version of a romantic relationship. He’ll obsessively collect items or trinkets that remind him of you, even going so far as to create private spaces in games or online where it’s just the two of them, away from anyone else or have an AI of your voice saying sweet little nothings to him, or singing. This, though, he'll never let you know. He doesn't want for you to think he is a weirdo, he just really love you, his bestie.
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alixmarauders · 2 days
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Why Try | poly! marauders x fem! reader
tag list: @staarflowerr @lonely-nerd-sodaholic @hcqwxrtss123 @call-me-mishi @sxmnc
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4
You were late, as always. This time, though, the reason behind it made you smile like a fool: last night you stayed up late with the guys, laughing and cuddling each other.
So, now you were rushing through the halls, barely making it in time for your Transfiguration class. You rushed to the door, which was already close, and opened it abruptly
“Mrs. L/N, you’re late.” McGonagall stared you down. “And I won’t comment on that strange looking mark on your neck. Take a seat”
Everybody looked at you, snickering, while Sirius blowed you a kiss, indicating the vacant seat next to you.
“Why is everybody laughing? And what strange mark was she referring to?”
“Love, didn’t you look in the mirror this morning?” You shook your head. “Let’s say that now everybody knows you’re ours”
You widened your eyes, pulling out of your bag a little mirror: the three hickeys adorned your neck.
“This is a mess, you know that? What would everybody think? And-“ He put a finger in your lips.
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You played with the hem of the Gryffindor jersey, a little smile playing on your cheeks. James and Sirius had a quidditch match against Ravenclaw in about forty minutes, you were waiting for Remus to pick you up to go watch it together.
Hearing three knocks on your dorm room, you ran to open: there stood Remus, a bouquet of tulips in one hand.
“Love, you look amazing in our colours” You smiled up at him. “May I have a kiss?”
Your heart fluttered, somehow him asking for consent made you even more hot and bothered. Not giving him a verbal response, you just got on your tippy toes and kissed him softly, while his free arm wrapped around your waist.
“You don’t even know how happy it makes me that I can just kiss you whenever I want” He showered you in sweet kisses all over your face, making you giggle. “My sweet, sweet girl”
At this point, your ears were burning and you were pretty sure that if he kept kissing you, you would have miss the match. “Okay loverboy, we should really get going”
He laughed, patting your bum, heading with you to the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw game. Technically you should have cheered for your house, but you didn’t have that many friends on the Ravenclaw team, and you just wanted to make your boyfriends feel appreciated.
Once on the Quidditch pitch, Remus brought you to the Gryffindor’s lockers.
“James! Sirius! Look I have a surprise!”
You heard what sounded like someone being slammed on the lockers, then they came into view.
Sirius stared at you, a grin slowly making his way on his face. “Look what we have here, wearing our colours”
You nodded. “This is technically James’ jersey, but I wrote your name under his name, so I’m technically cheering for the both of you”
James picked you up, spinning you around, while you giggled furiously. “Our girl, always so considerate. We love you, you know that, right?”
Sirius picked you from James’ arms, kissing you softly on your lips, making you melt, while Remus was watching the scene unfold from behind you, a grin plastered on his face.
“We have to go now” Sirius pecked your lips. “After the game we’ll shower and then we’ll go on a date together”
“And if I don’t want to?”
James smirked. “You’ll still be there, either if you want to or not. You’re stuck with us love, that’s a shame isn’t it?”
“Not really” You mumbled, suppressing a smile, and they cooed at you. Once the players kissed you, they took off for the pitch, while you went back to your seats with Remus.
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Gryffindor won, and you couldn’t have been more happy. As you rushed down the bleachers, your excitement died down, seeing Aurora dangerously close to James, her hand on his pec.
“… We could share a drink, you know? We’d have such a great time together” Your first instinct was to run, but you refrained: you had learned your lesson, plus now you were in officially dating, everyone knew about this, you had every right to lash out.
Swallowing down your nervousness, you came behind up behind her, tapping her shoulder, James smirked at you. “Excuse me, are you asking out my boyfriend?” They both widened your eyes, Remus smiling proudly at you and fist bumping James.
“What… He’s not-“
James hugged you from behind, his head nestling in your shoulder juncture. “I am, thank you very much. Claimed and everything, so I’d take a step back if I were you. Plus, I wanted to tell you that I actually don’t give a shit about her brother being a shit to her, I pity him, not understanding how lucky he is to have such an incredible sister. Now, I would really like for you to go away, so I can spend time with my girlfriend, thank you very much”. He turned you around, ignoring your protests, making out with you right in front of her.
You tried to keep up with him, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty about the white lie you told them. Once you stopped kissing, Remus and Sirius were by your side, too. You were about to start talking, but they preceded you. “Love, she talked a lot of shit about you, but if you didn’t want to tell us about your brother we understand. The only thing is, why did you want to keep our relationship a secret, then?” Sirius was looking kind of hurt, and your heart wept.
“It’s not you I’m ashamed of, I can assure you. I was ashamed of myself, as I told you I didn’t understand how could you choose me, of all the pretty girls there are here at Hogwarts, I didn’t want to be made fun of, you know?”
Remus hugged you tighly as you were about to start crying. “Sht, love, we understand, don’t go wasting your tears on this, please. Everything’s alright, we’re not mad, we’re glad you talked to us about it.”
As you allowed them to cuddle you, you smiled: being honest wasn’t that bad, after all.
this is rushed and not proofread, but I had to finish this serie and so that's it <3 hope you enjoyed it, sending you lots of kisses
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grifonecoronato · 3 days
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Mae-ho Aniseya: Film Noir Protagonist
(Spoilers for The Acolyte)
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As I've said in another post, Mae and Osha are binary opposites in their personalities and motivations.
Mae has a kind of "first child syndrome": a desire to exhibit perfection in the eyes of her mothers, so that they can shower her with praise. She loves being in her community of witches, learning and using the Thread, and indulging in the daily activities of life on Brendok.
She thrives when she is surrounded by her people, but Osha doesn't want the same things, which is something that confuses Mae deeply.
In this scene from Episode 3: Destiny, the two sisters as children talk about what they want:
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MAE: "It isn't fair. I share everything with you, and you hide things from me or run off alone." OSHA: "I want to have my own things." MAE: "Why?" OSHA: "Because I don't want to do everything together all the time." MAE: "But why?" OSHA: "Because we're not the same." [...] OSHA: "Don't you wonder what else could be out there? Besides Brendok?" MAE: "No. Everything I need is here."
For Osha, her arc in The Acolyte has all the trappings of a dark romance. But from Mae's perspective, she's the heroine of her own Film Noir.
Film Noir Themes in The Acolyte
Beyond its aesthetics, Film Noir has three (3) major thematic characteristics with regard to its protagonists:
Its protagonist has an idyllic past where they were happy and life was good;
Their idyllic past is ripped away from them, often violently, in a single moment that they relive again and again in the present;
The inciting incident is an opportunity to reclaim their idyllic past, or if that's impossible, to get justice for what was lost... because to do nothing is to be haunted by it forever.
For example, we can look at the seasonal arc of Veronica Mars (2004): she's a happy high schooler and best friends with Lily Kane, then Lily is murdered and Veronica is ostracised from her former friends, and now she is seeking opportunities to solve her friend's murder, while being haunted by the memories of her.
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Or consider the video game Max Payne (1998): he's a cop with a happy wife and daughter, then his wife and daughter are murdered by drug addicts high on Compound V, now he joins the DEA in an effort to find and destroy the source of Compound V, and finally stop feeling haunted by the memories of his family.
Mae's story is very similar: she was a happy kid living with a family and community that gave her everything she wanted, then the Jedi came and massacred everyone she loved, and now she's joined up with a powerful ally who will teach her to get bloody justice.
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Mae's Fatal Flaw
Mae's biggest problem is that she's impulsive and frequently enters situations without a clear plan. However, this bullheadedness shows that she trusts herself to get out of any situation she finds herself in.
(Qimir once said to Osha "you should learn to trust yourself", but I doubt this is a lesson he had to teach Mae.)
Detractors often say that Mae's motivations don't make sense, or that she's "flip flopping" all the time. But this criticism -- like most criticisms from the fandom menace -- is unfair. Mae's motivations are very clear, and her shifting tactics are done as a response to new information that comes her way.
In Episodes 1 and 2, her goal is two-fold:
Hunt down the four guilty Jedi
Keep The Stranger satisfied in her progress as his apprentice
But in Episode 4 and 5, after she learns that her sister lives, her goal changes to "reunite with Osha." But when Osha refuses to listen to her, Mae's slightly modifies her goal, to "find a way to de-program Osha from her Jedi brainwashing, by exposing Sol."
Viewers that understand what drives Mae see that not flaky; she's adaptive.
The Fatal Lesson of Film Noir
The thing about Film Noir protagonists is that most of the time (not always, but most of the time), their quest for reclaiming their idyllic past is a fool's errand: they either sacrifice a big part of themselves in the attempt, or they learn to heal form the past, let go, and move on.
Mae opts for the former. When she finally succeeds in revealing that Sol has been lying for sixteen years, Osha murders him. Afterward, Osha bargains for Mae's life, which the Stranger accepts but only if he be permitted to erase her memories.
So Mae recaptures her idyllic past by being able to reconnect with her sister... only to lose her sense of self in the process. The quest consumed her.
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But was it worth it?
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turcott3 · 2 days
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faith
jamie drysdale x fem!reader
warnings?: cursing, kissing, smut, oral f receiving.
masterlist
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you sighed as you slammed your computer shut, finally hitting send on your resume. the thought of the email reaching them filled you with dread.
what if they didn’t want to interview you? what if this was just another company to ghost you?
it stressed you out.
eventually, you found your way out of your bedroom, out into the living room where your boyfriend sat sprawled out on the couch.
“i did it.” you said quietly.
“you sent it?” he asks perking up.
“yeah.” you sigh, sitting down next to him, tucking yourself under his arm.
“that’s one step, see it wasn’t so hard?” he says squeezing your shoulder.
“we’ll see about that.”
“y/n, your resume looks great, i couldn’t possibly see why they wouldnt at least want you to come in to interview.” he says, a light thumb running over the fabric that covered your shoulder.
“well now i just have to wait.” you say opening up your email, pulling down refreshing it.
“okay now this is what we aren’t gonna do. i’m not gonna let you sit and drain yourself waiting for a response.” he says taking your phone and tucking it in his pocket.
“hey, give that back.” you say reaching across his lap, his hand grabbing yourself under wrist to stop you.
“i will give it back in the morning, just let me take care of you until then okay? they probably are just busy and can’t check emails. relax, my love.” he says pressing a kiss on your cheek before standing up, disappearing into your shared room, probably to hide the phone.
“i’m nervous about it jam.”
“i know you are, come here.” he says quietly as he lays down, signaling for you to curl up on his chest, one of the few places you felt like you could breathe.
“it’s all i can think about right now.”
“i know, i know.” he says, running his hands up and down your back.
you laid on his chest until you crashed late in the evening, eventually waking up to the sun peaking through the bedroom curtains, your phone laying perfectly on your nightstand just like he’d promised.
you hear your boyfriend groan next to you as you lean up on your elbow, turning to face him.
“morning baby.” he mumbles sweetly, his eyes still closed.
“good morning love bug.” you giggle, pressing a short kiss to his lips before rolling back over and getting out of bed, your phone instantly in your hand as you walked toward the bathroom.
“oh my gosh.” you gasp.
“what?” jamie calls out.
“i have an interview, like this afternoon.”
“congratulations, see i told you, everything will be fine.” he says, appearing in the door frame.
“i don’t think i tell you enough how hot you are when you wake up.” you say, your speech muffled as you brushed your teeth.
“oh whatever.” he giggles, kissing you on the head and grabbing his toothbrush.
“what do you think i should wear?” you ask, wiping your mouth.
“black pants, solid color shirt. nothing too fancy, but still nice.”
“okay.” you say, thinking to your closet.
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you paced around your apartment as you waited to leave, your makeup nicely done and your hair slick and clean.
“baby please, calm down. you don’t leave for another 20 minutes.” jamie says walking into the living room.
“jamie what if i don’t get it?”
“well you won’t find out today.”
“fuck that makes it worse.” you say biting your nails.
“hey hey stop, will you listen to me for a second?” he asks, gripping onto your biceps.
“stop what?”
“this, all of this. this job interview does not define you. of course i have all the faith in the world that you are fully capable of getting this job, but it’s breaking my heart seeing you so torn up about it. i will love you all the same, job or not. no matter what.” he says, his thumbs grazing back and forth soothingly.
“i’m just nervous, that’s all it is jamie.”
“yes of course you are, and i get that, but i need you to be all here. i need you to just take a breath for me okay? everything is going to be fine, i will be here waiting for you when you come back.”
“okay, i’m gonna leave now so im a little early.” you say, hugging onto the boy.
“drive safe okay? i love you.”
“i will, i love you.” you call out, shutting the door behind you.
-
you arrived back home with a smile, opening the door finding jamie in his spot on the couch.
“so?” he asks, getting up to greet you at the door, wrapping you in his warm arms.
“the interview went really good.”
“i knew you would do great. i’m so proud of you pretty girl.” he mumbles into your hair, pecking you in the head a few times.
“they said i’d hear back by the end of the week.”
“so basically i’m taking your phone from you for two days, at least.” he says pulling away lightly and locking eyes with you.
“if you must.” you giggle as he presses a kiss to your lips, pulling your phone out of your back pocket.
“i’m hiding that laptop too.”
“jamie i have school work.” you giggle as he shuffles away quickly.
“you can use my laptop.” he calls out and you roll your eyes with a stuck smile.
hours had passed by and you were left alone in bed while jamie showered. you reached into his nightstand drawer pulling out your phone, opening the email app and refreshing it every few seconds before you heard the door open and a freshly showered jamie re-enters the room.
“y/n, the phone.” he says sternly.
“i’m sorry.” you sigh.
“give me that he says crawling into bed, looking over you as he took the phone from your hand.
“i can’t help it.” you reply.
“i know you can’t, but i can distract you.” he smirks, locking his lips onto yours. your hands found their way to his cheeks as he deepened the kiss, your tongues doing a tango of passion as you grew deeper and deeper in desire.
he removes a hand from your waist, slipping it into your satin shorts, running his fingers through your soaked core.
“jamie.” you whine, gripping onto his arm.
“mmm ready for me already?” he mumbles on your lips. you pull away locking eyes with him, nodding vigorously, any thought of an email instantly leaving your brain at the simple idea of your hot, hockey player boyfriend tongue deep between your legs.
he crawls to the end of the bed, his feet planted on the ground as he leaned over the bed, tugging your shorts down, leaving you exposed. he tossed them to the side, grabbing your ankles and pulling you slightly toward him. he crawled closer between your legs, kissing up your inner thigh, his hands finding their way to grip the outside of your legs. sooner than later, his lips make sweet contact with your pussy, sucking and twirling your clit with his tongue, your back arching at the sensation.
one thing about jamie, he knows how to eat, whether anyone wants to believe that or not.
“fuck.” you moan out, gripping in his dark locks as you locked eyes with him, your moans growing louder as you realize his eyes were ready to meet yours.
“taste so good baby.” he says pulling away slightly, the vibrations of his words making you groan.
“you’re so fucking good at that.” you gasp out as he continues, sliding two fingers into you, being pushed closer and closer to the edge. the build up was unbearable as he continued his actions, his fingers curling inside you causing you to crumble under his touch, an orgasm washing over you as you soaked his face in your wetness.
“oh my fucking god.” you gasp out as he pulls away, crawling over you, attaching your lips shamelessly to his.
“feeling better?” he giggles, pulling away.
“so much fucking better.” you reply in your hazy state.
“now no more worrying about a damn email y/n, everything will be fine. i’m here for you, i love you so much. don’t ever forget that okay?” he says, brushing your hair out of your face as you fixed your shorts after he’d handed them back to you.
“okay, i love you too jamie. promise i’ll be better.” you smile.
he made you realize how much he actually cared. he cared about your happiness more than his own, wanting to eliminate any possibility of stress if he could.
he loved you more than anything, job or not, and you just couldn’t believe you’d gotten so lucky to love him back.
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thempregsimmer · 2 days
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When Alex first found out he was pregnant, it was a surprise, to say the least. He never imagined that he'd be carrying his husband’s child, but the modern world had its share of twists, and he was ready to embrace the journey. One thing he hadn’t considered, though, was how much his lifestyle would need to change to accommodate the growing life inside him. His old car just wasn’t cutting it anymore. The cramped seats, the bumpy rides, the lack of storage for all the things he needed as a soon-to-be father—none of it felt right.
“I wasn’t just buying a car,” Alex explained, “I was buying peace of mind.” The spacious, supportive seats offered him comfort during his increasingly frequent trips to the doctor, and the adjustable ride height made it easier for him to get in and out as his belly grew larger.
“But it’s the smooth ride that really sold me,” he said, rubbing his stomach with a smile. “The new car handles the road like a dream. Every bump, every uneven surface—it smooths them all out. It’s exactly what I needed, especially during the last trimester when comfort is everything.”
And as Alex prepared for fatherhood, the vehicle proved to be more than just a mode of transportation. Its spacious back made carrying supplies—everything from strollers to baby bags—effortless. “This car is really for families,” he added. “I guess, in a way, I’m starting my family a little earlier than expected.”
He chuckled, standing tall next to his car on the beach. It had become more than just a car to him; it was a partner in his journey. “I wouldn’t want to be driving anything else right now,” Alex said. “It’s kept me calm, comfortable, and ready for whatever comes next.”
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Jordan had always been an adventurer. He loved long drives along rugged coastlines, hiking trips, and spontaneous road trips with friends. But when he found out he was pregnant, he knew his trusty old car wasn’t going to cut it anymore. The baby growing inside him meant his priorities were changing, and he needed a car that could handle both the road and the responsibilities that came with this new chapter in his life.
“I never thought I’d be saying this, but being pregnant has totally shifted how I look at cars,” Jordan said, resting a hand on his growing belly. “I needed something that wasn’t just tough but comfortable too. A new car was the answer.”
Jordan appreciated the space it offered. As his body changed, he found himself needing more room—both for comfort and for all the stuff he was now carrying around. “It’s surprising how much space a guy with a baby bump needs,” he laughed. “But with this car, it’s like I have my own little cocoon. The seats are adjustable, and the back has more than enough room for all the gear I need.”
He pointed to the SUV's off-road tires, grinning. “And don’t get me started on the off-roading capabilities. I might be pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped exploring. This thing has taken me to some of the most beautiful, remote places where I can relax and connect with nature. It’s like I haven’t missed a beat.”
But the biggest surprise for Jordan was how much the car helped with the emotional side of his pregnancy. “Honestly, it’s been a crazy ride—pun intended,” he admitted. “But being in this car makes me feel strong and in control, even when my body is doing its own thing. This pregnancy wasn’t at all planned, it’s a result of one of those passionate dinners that come with breakfast in bed afterwards. However, I’m glad it happened, and that I’m carrying my son inside me now. He’s taking up a lot of space, both in my belly, and in my head. Sometimes I feel like I’m loosing control over my life and body, and I know it’s worth it, but it’s a feeling I have never had before.”
As Jordan leaned against his SUV, he looked out at the horizon. “I know it might sound strange, but this car has given me a sense of freedom. Even with the changes happening in my life, I can still be me. And when my baby comes, I know this car will help us have so many adventures together.”
For Jordan, the car was more than just a vehicle. It was a lifeline to his independence, helping him navigate both the literal and metaphorical roads of pregnancy and beyond.
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tomorrowxtogether · 2 days
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Tomorrow X Together's Yeonjun on solo release: 'I'm going to keep challenging myself'
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Yeonjun of popular K-pop group Tomorrow X Together isn't one to shy away from a challenge. Over the last five years, the Korean performer has built a reputation alongside his four bandmates as a versatile all-rounder who can execute any choreography or genre thrown his way.
"When I was young, I just purely loved music and dance, and that love is all I had. After it became my career, music became a source of both joy and sometimes stress for me," Yeonjun tells USA TODAY. "Still, I feel like music takes such a big part of my life. I think music is what allows me to be really free and really express myself as I am."
Now, the 25-year-old is taking a new step in his evolving career. Yeonjun released his first solo mixtape, "GGUM," Sept. 19.
"I'm super excited, but at the same time, I'm kind of nervous," he says. "This is my first time doing a solo project, I do feel a bit of a pressure, and I feel responsible for doing a good job."
Curating 'GGUM' and its concept
"I'm always looking for opportunities to expand my artistry, expand my different musical performances," Yeonjun shares. "During the middle of the US tour, we started talking about this project, and we slowly built on that."
"GGUM" and its feature track highlight Yeonjun's vibrant tonality. The hip-hop inspired song is bold and dynamic, commanding attention from the second you hit play. So how'd it get its name?
"I was actually chewing on gum when I was in the car, and it just came to me all of a sudden," Yeonjun reveals.
When you're chewing gum, you can exude a certain swagger and confidence, he says. "I think that vibe really suited me well, and I thought it was a perfect concept for my first solo project," Yeonjun adds.
"GGUM" is striking in its lyrics, sonics and performance – "Blow and spit out a banger, this song's now stuck in your head," Yeonjun raps. His flow is fierce and unfaltering, while the choreography is kinetic and intense. Yeonjun helped develop the track's dance.
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Facing challenges solo: 'It was no walk in the park'
Yeonjun's first solo project tested his mettle.
"Honestly speaking, I thought I was ready for this, but then I realized after working on it, that it was no walk in the park," he shares.
"It was really difficult. It was very challenging to do the vocals, the rap and the dance all at once. I tried doing everything at the same time. It's very tiring. So while working on the choreo and the song, I came to really respect solo artists," Yeonjun adds.
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But Yeonjun's experiences with a group helped him along the way. "I think only because I am part of Tomorrow X Together – and I've been through so much together with them – that's why I could try this. I could take on this challenge," he says.
"If I weren't in the team, I don't think this would have been possible," Yeonjun adds.
Even though Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hueningkai are not performing alongside him, Yeonjun felt their support.
"I did feel a lot of stress, a lot of pressure, sometimes to the point that it almost scared me. Whenever I was met with those emotions, the bandmates would come to me, they would give me a lot of words of encouragement and boost my self-confidence and self-assurance," he says. "Thanks to them, I could pull it off and finish this journey."
Yeonjun vows to 'keep challenging myself'
Yeonjun hopes "GGUM" can be a "pleasant shock to everyone." He has already established his identity through TXT, but this mixtape allows him peel back another layer.
"I hope that the people would feel that I'm bringing something new to the table," Yeonjun says. "I think it's a new start for me and a new challenge that I took on. It really means the world to me."
Yeonjun will continue to build upon the foundation he has previously laid, whether it's with Tomorrow X Together or on his own.
"I want to keep pushing my musical boundaries and make sure that I expand my artistic spectrum, and I'm going to keep challenging myself," he says.
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skywalkr-nberrie · 2 months
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One of the biggest arguments I’ve seen used by the Ob*d*l*s against Anidala, is that scene in the ROTS novel where Padmé says she could trust OW with the secret of the rebellion and was hesitant to tell Anakin and I just wanna say:
Padmé wasn't an idiot. She was an extremely intelligent and competent woman, perfectly able to understand that loving Anakin and thinking that he could be trusted with a certain politic-related matter were two very different things and reducing her choice regarding who to trust with an important political matter only on the basis of her feelings of romantic love diminishes her professionalism, and this is why I say y'all could never understand her.
Padmé didn’t have to "love" OW or even like him at all to know he was the perfect Jedi to ask for help in a secret political matter.
That's the point being made in the novel, she’s hit with the realization that Anakin in this particular moment could not be told this piece of info because of his relationship with Palpatine, and Padmé specifically mentions in the Junior ROTS novel that she didn't want to make Anakin “keep a secret” if he didn’t agree with their stance because it’d be “unfair.” So this also played a part in why Padmé didn’t think it best to inform Anakin about the Rebellion. It honestly had little to do with her actually lacking trust in him, and more to do with the circumstances she was in not allowing her to be open with her husband and her not wanting to make him choose between his wife and his “father figure.”
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However, Padmé knows OW’s political ideas aren't tied to ONE particular person but to a philosophy, one which is closer to her own, at that point. None of this was ever meant to be hinted as “romantic” or even remotely insinuated as romantic. It’s strictly professional and even the tone of the scene makes that so abundantly clear.
All I’m saying is that, some of these proshippers are doing the most out here to try and prove their ship, like my loves? You forgot a very important thing called ✨ context ✨ and regardless of her rational thinking, Padmé still went out of her way to try and talk out all of this Rebellion secrecy stuff with Anakin when she confronted him in the scene where she asks if he ever thought they were “fighting on the wrong side.” Padmé didn’t trust OW in the same way she trusted Anakin (with her entire self and being) she had the level of trust and love for Anakin that was only meant for him.
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Mixing up her unwavering faith in Anakin as her husband with her trust in OW’s devotion to duty as her comrade/ally is purposely deluding yourself, because the two aren’t the same and therefore can’t be compared. An example of this is: Padmé constantly putting more value to Anakin’s words over OW’s in the end of ROTS when he came to tell her of Anakin’s “crimes”. She completely disregarded what OW had claimed about her husband and instead made her way to where Anakin was herself, to ask him directly. Despite what the truth was, this is proof of her trusting Anakin unconditionally, and I didn’t even think I had to spell that out because it’s as clear as day.
In conclusion, Padmé didn’t trust OW more than Anakin, she just knew the circumstances she was in didn’t exactly make it easy for her to openly talk with her husband about these matters and that’s part of what played into the issues they had in ROTS, it’s exactly what Sidious wanted.
#star wars#anidala#anakin skywalker#padmé amidala#sw novels#revenge of the sith novelization#revenge of the sith junior novelization#avoiding tagging and using full character names because I don’t wanna attract those weirdos on my post#haters dni#anti ob****d*la#i’ve seen shippers claim that ow and padme would make a better couple simply because they both value duty and share some of the same ideals#even though padmé’s strong sense of duty doesn’t define her personal identity#she’s always wanted to leave behind her responsibilities to live a simple happy life with her husband#she stays out duty and care for peace and justice in the galaxy#which is actually a trait she shared with anakin not ow#anakin is loyal and dutiful because he cares about helping people and that’s padmé’s aim too#ow stays to help people because of his devotion to the jedi#that’s not the same#saying she’d be more compatible with ow is like the punchline of a bad joke#in every way padmé shares more in common with anakin when it comes to the core of her personality#and relationships aren’t built off sharing ideals mind you#it’s about connecting and sharing core values which is what anakin and padmé always had#there’s a reasons why padmé and ow argued a lot in wild space#padmé says the one thing her and ow can agree on is loving anakin otherwise their mindsets clash way too much#compatible? never in a million years.#padmé herself disagrees#and apart from the fact that canonically padmé never shows romantic interest in him#nor does the narrative include ow as one of padmé’s love interests…#holy god my tags deserve their own posts
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hey i hope this is alright to ask but what would you say to someone who's really going though it these days? it seems like everything's taking 10 times more effort than it did last month
It's more than alright, my friend. <3
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The first thing I would say is that I'm proud of you.
Just reaching out for a bit of support is a very courageous thing in itself and you ought to be proud of yourself for doing so. You're doing all the right things, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment!
The second thing I would say is to please, please, please be as easy and gentle with yourself as you can be, and remember that you're not alone. You can't operate at 100% capacity all of the time. You can't do everything. You can't control everything. And do you know what that means?
That you're just the same as every other human on the planet!
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In terms of practical advice, I can only really tell you what works for me and that is to take a step back and quite literally ask myself, out loud "Okay, so what can I actually do about this issue I'm facing? Right here, right now?"
And the answer to that question is usually one of three things:
Sometimes I can actually do something about the problem, right there, right then - making a phone-call maybe, or sending an email - and it's a matter of summoning the willpower to get it done and out of the way. This is often difficult and quite often sucks, but I find it helpful to look upon it as a kind of self-care - I'm doing a nice thing that my future self will thank me for.
Sometimes I can actually do something about the problem, just not yet - maybe that phone-call has to wait a few days until Monday, say. But that doesn't mean I can't do anything - I can double-check the phone number and availability of the other party, I can plan when I'm going to make the call and figure out what information I need to get when I do so. Even though my future self still has to do the thing, she will thank me for putting in some groundwork.
And sometimes there really isn't anything I can do right there, right then. Sometimes a rough patch does come around and there's nothing to be done but try to ride it out (because, rest assured my friend, it will not last forever!) and to distract myself from it as best I can. This is also often difficult and often sucks but it's also a kind of self-care - doing something nice for myself in the present rather than the future.
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I love you, my friend. Please, please, please do not hesitate to slide into my DMs if you ever want to talk more. <3
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snickerdoodlles · 5 months
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there's a lot of things people blame for why fandoms feel like ghost towns these days, but no one's really talked about the way discord's contributing to it
#its like#people are trying to force fit discord's chatrooms into forum boards#except discord is just. really really *really* poorly setup for that#and theres no way to archive or share it so everything said in it is easily lost despite personal export or community pins or search option#and like#vaguely hearing about the way some people are unsatisfied with them/feeling unfufilled in the response to them#a lot of people would be better off posting those things to places like tumblr#where there isnt a time limit on when people see or respond to them#part of what's scary/frustrating on tumblr rn is some fandoms arent good about reblogging to posts or tag rambling#like with bad buddy a large part of the fun was the enthusiastic and in depth tag rambles and the way responses built on each other#vs something like kinnporsche which feels much more like-oriented#like? its not like theres any one way to fandom#and there's nothing actually wrong with likes or quiet reblogs#but vaguely hearing about the way some people were/are really upset with some servers im just kinda like#idk#feels a bit like people trying to force a square thru a circle or that they're looking in the wrong spaces for what they want#.......this is not a complaint for my space ajkds i think i've carved out a pretty happy space for myself!#im just checking the reblog graphs of some old vs new stuff and thinking about a convo other cookie and i were having over the weekend#i have a lot of friends around and i love everyone who's happy to ramble with me#but i do feel a slight case of DM burnout rn where mostly people reach out to me via DMs instead of reblogs#which is a very different dynamic#its like. hmmm words#i love DMs but the pressure of responding to a lot of individual messages#vs something like reblogs which is more open forum for everyone and feels more communal#if that makes sense?#the difference between visiting one person at home vs casually hanging out with a group at a cafe#and the lovely thing about tumblr specifically is that i can set down a reblog chain for several days if i need#before returning to it later when i have more time/energy#its got Longevity that discord lacks u know#........okay enough tag musings from me ajkfhjdgfhj BYE
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imflyingfish · 2 months
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Its weird because i dont actually have much of a desire to move to france or use french reguarly in my life but at this point ive deadicated over a year to learning it so i might as well keep going and finish
#it just makes me frustrated but whatevee#its like a pretty big part of my life but A. i never feel like i can chat about it#b. its generally increadibly difficult with no real way to track progress#c. its both. increadibly alienating and connecting#its so easy to feel lonely as a foreigner#foreigner isnt the right word since its the internet but thats the closest thing ive got#and i want to talk about it and share my music and what ive found but thats also difficult#because then people either expect you to be good at it which im literally not or#one time my friend made a comment at me like 'your french rap because your so cool'#and like NO!!!!! IM NOT COOL IM A LANGUAGE NERD!!!!!!#idk it made me feel bad and like. everytime i try to express my love for learning this i feel like a pretentious ass#when NO. im literally just enjoying a process and developing a skill that im very excited about and it sucks not beinf able to talk about it#it also doesnt help that the majority of instences are very small things#like today i met someone and asked them if they had a portal and they said no#THATS MASSIVE FOR ME. I ASKED A QUESTION AND GOT A RESPONSE. I TRANSCENDED LANGUAGE BARRIERS ARE YOU FUCKING ME#how is that not frankly INSANE#anyway idk. i want to be better but the joy is in the process or whst fucking ever#im also realising a lot of the time i feel like i have to prove myself to french servermates#i have to be useful i have to be generous i have to be a good builder#because if im not then im annoying and slow and everyone gets confused#im starting to want to find characters in shows like me who are stuck between languages and who are trying o reach across to others despite#idk learning a langauge has given me so much perspective on the world. other things seem to fall flat#its nice to feel smarter than i usually do#i often think im just not very smart at these kind of things but i am it just takes a different method for me i guess#idk#fish talks
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piningpercussionist · 9 months
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Do you hang out with Ramona or Knives much when Scott or Neil aren't around? Ever since your roommate shanked you in the back it seems like you don't have a lot of girlfriends, just bros.
I try to. I want to. They're both so much nicer to hang around, you know? So much less confusing. At least in an uncomfortable manner
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And you're right, yeah. Ever since Hollie it's been a lot of Stephen and Joseph and Scott- and with Joseph it's all awkward since he's Hollie's friend. Just a lot of unnecessary bullshit, generally. I don't want all that.
I like hanging out with Ramona, Lisa, Knives... fuck, even Julie at this point, even if she bores me to tear sometimes. I miss feeling light, ya know?
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sovonight · 1 year
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editing down my tob gameplay but only keeping the parts where i ramble about xan and radri and how they're each other's source of light and wonder but each only thinks that it goes one way
#xan being fully aware that he's a morale killer w/o his spells & yet finding that somehow his presence can cheer her as a person not a mage#radri thinking that the best way she can exist is to erase herself but finding that actually her company can be a positive and wanted thing#radri showing him theres more to life than death and xan showing her the wonders and beauty in what would be the mundane#--wonders and beauty that he never truly appreciated before her and now finds more precious through wanting to share it with her#look in their own heads they are still that lonely child surrounded by books#but to the other they are a source of wonder and support and love and happiness#still thinking abt xan's 'you wouldnt have noticed me as a child; i always had my nose in a book'#my guy u think the lonely girl who grew up in a book archive wouldnt notice the loner boy who chose books over socializing...#that said xan is defensive enough that i fully believe he wouldve scared her away if they met as kids#it wouldve been a 'she's too pretty and nice to be talking to me this must be a joke at my expense' scenario#meanwhile radri is of such average charisma to most ppl that she's like 'this response must somehow be my fault in particular'#50 years later xan would state offhand that he used to have a crush on her and she'd be like but u always avoided me??#and he would be like yes obviously. i couldn't handle the emotional toll of potentially experiencing your judgment#then he would say 'i'm better now' and then in 2 weeks immediately start avoiding her again because his feelings awoke again from slumber#sovo note
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themagical1sa · 11 months
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ykw?
it would be incredibly funny if crushie liked me back too late
especially when i might be starting to like someone else
#isa and the y/n experience#isa go to sleep challenge#whoever is writing my life can pull the worst joke rn /JOKING#i wonder how my life would look like as an actual shoujo manga.#i wonder how my friends would have ranked in character polls#iirc boys over flowers had that love interest poll for mc#i wonder what the results would have looked like for my life#here's crushie; cute. book and film geek. good at math. gamer. passionate abt films and cinema#and then there's squishie; also cute. squishy even. music nerd. rhythm gamer most especially into project sekai. thoughtful and caring#between both of them during my absence this semester though?#squishie's the one who has kept consistent effort in keeping touch with me outside of our triad's discord server#both have said they miss me but squishie's done more about it#he's also shared brainrots with me more#i've always appreciated squishie bestie as one of my besties but he's hittin' different lately especially after his birthday last sept 24..#Things Happened For Sure:tm:#but crushie is also a good person#when i confessed to him upfront he wanted to think about his response because knew the gravity of me saying that to him to his face#i already told him he didn't have to say it back though#i was always prepared to let go anyway#i'm way too good at goodbyes /lyr /JOKE 😂😭#PWEH enough y/nposting in the tags. i'm going to crushie's bday party later LMAAAOOO#...oh my god right his birthday is soon (today's party is an advance celebration)#anyway eepy time nite nite labyu all mwa
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victory-cookies · 1 year
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the only irl friend I have that I feel comfortable actually talking about the things I enjoy with just insulted me for gushing about smth to her over snap last night and now I want to cry
#this is going in the tags bc it’s stupid but it’s making me sad so#the only irl friend I have that I actually felt comfortable sharing my interests with just made fun of me#for gushing to her about smth over snap last night#and I’m at work rn so I can’t even cry bc in a few minutes I’m back out on the floor#but just like. I think I have rsd (especially around my interests and then my intelligence but that’s not pertinent here)#so I’ve never really been super open about what things interest me bc when I get made fun of for it or those things get insulted#It really hurts#the only people I’ve really felt comfortable opening up to are like. Sid obv and then this one friend of mine#bc the two of us found out we shared some interests and started like. telling each other about other things we like#I’d tell her about my silly little tv shows and podcasts and she’d tell me about the movies and books she was into#and I’ve explained to her before how I’ve never really been comfortable enough to talk about that shit and how I appreciated her being kind#and not insulting me like other people have in the past#but today I’m sitting on break and watching the replies she sent me and one of them is just a clip in response to my video from last night#where she just goes ‘girl I literally don’t care’ (and this was not in a joking way like that was her response#and it was in a tone that implied ‘so shut up about it’)#and like I get it! I am often not interested in the things that people tell me about! but I try to be earnest and engaged#and I can understand loving smth and wanting to share it with others! and how it sucks when people are then mean about it!#like when she tells me about a teen drama romance book or sends me instagram reels of cake decorating I try to respond with enthusiasm!#bc while the content may not interest me I like hearing about the things she enjoys and I’m glad she feels open to telling me about stuff!#but now I don’t want to share shit with her anymore bc this has given me a huge spike in anxiety and I feel like shit#idk. it’s stupid but it sucks#vent#ig
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