#I want some dopamine tbh!
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Okay fuck it I'm really bored at work, would anyone be interested if I did an ask game?
(I hesitate a bit bc this is mainly, yknow, a good news blog. But it is also my blog, and I do have the tag "not news" for a reason!)
#I promise not to be offended if no one is interested lol#ask#me#not news#ask game#my work right now is literally hitting four buttons once every 15 minutes#and getting up a couple times an hour to do 2-minute rounds#I want some dopamine tbh!#and it'll be easier to get some work on the not-this-job thing I have to do if I have something to go back and forth between#and I'm in a weirdly “social on the internet” mood which is p rare for me
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Slowly discovering the freeing power of the words "I know this is bad but I'll fix it in editing."
#bjk talks#bjk writing rambles#more rambly diary thinking out loud lol don't mind me#i really am starting to feel like very slowly i am actually learning to be a better writer from all this fic stuff#in addition to producing Feels#slash actually starting to develop a writing process rather than just kind of word-spewing#i really hope the end beat of this chap has the impact i want bc it is taking considerable leadup to get there XD#but i'm starting to hit a rhythm of getting some done each day without burning myself out#and focusing on producing a draft that can then be molded#it's challenging because my brain wants the quick dopamine hit of finishing and publishing#rather than focusing on the intermediate steps#tbh this is probably a big part of why longfic has intimidated me up to this point XD#anyway for anyone following along i think i'm about 3/4 done with OYE chapter 4#it's turning out longer than i expected#HOPING to have a full draft to spend time editing this weekend but we'll see#after all this rambling about it the actual chapter is probably gonna be anticlimactic but it helps keep me motivated XD#</ramble>
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The apartment hunt begins
#it me#I moved back to my hometown back in 2022 and think I've acclimated enough to move out#I miss having my own space tbh. I've only lived by myself once and that was really me and my ex#and that was because of the pandemic so i mean it was great to be at home in my own space so much#had a whole living room had a kitchen had it all#and now here I just got a cat so there's 3 in the house#and tbh that's cool for him but also hes capable of chilling a lot better when no one is here#and i like being alone in the place i pay rent for#all i do is live in my room. and i love my room because its mine. no one takes down shit i put up#its nice#i just really want my own apartment lol I'm tired of cleaning up behind 4 fucking ppl every month#it takes the joy of cleaning away bro its just a chore#and chores are for fucking teens aight I'm trying to get some dopamine#a lot of stuff really its just 4 is such a crowd
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oh my god i just saw a post that reminded me of what happened on my way home. ok so let me preface this with i don’t even think i want kids. certainly not for another decade AT LEAST ok. (i had to do some math there to make sure that made sense akdjskdh) and this was like a really and truly insane moment for me. like i acknowledge this. BUT
at the stop i was waiting at to get on the train there was a woman who had exactly the same hair as me (quite common tbh) w a man who looked Weirdly like this guy i was . chatting . with last weekend (who i like. don’t Actually “”have a crush on”” i just enjoy entertaining my own attraction to people. if that makes sense). and they had this ADORABLE like 18 month old and the bottom of their stroller was packed with cool art pieces they were taking home and i had this awful moment of yearning and then i was like ??? bitch ??? you don’t even want kids. AND you don’t even like. actually know that guy very well since you’ve only talked like four times in the last 3 years.
#like TO BE CLEAR.#i don’t think anything is going to happen w this guy#he lives kind of nearby and he’s smart and kind and funny and attractive and a short king and his job is something that makes him hotter#(he’s a teacher and i wanted to be a teacher for sooo long and i just think public service jobs are hot tbh)#but he’s also just some guy who went to my uni and runs in the same alumni circles that i’ve talked to a handful of times like.#again: i just like entertaining myself! i like having little crushes to nudge when i need some dopamine!#so it was indeed WILD to have this moment today where i then went ????? what the fuck ?????
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Hey Dreamy, it's Lee Know day and I got to see real life Han Quokkas today! They are so freaking cute 🥺 (I spent way too much at the zoo gift shop but like how often do you get to visit THE Australia Zoo). I also got to pat a kangaroo, which is probably the closest I'll ever get to Chan irl as a European girlie
I hope whatever it is you have been struggling with in life has gotten better, or at least that it will soon! Here's a picture of a quokka and sleeping baby koala for good luck and happiness ❤️
OH MY GOD THATS AWESOME!!!! thank you for sharing pics, and omg ur so right i would die to be able to go to the aussie zoo and aquariums 😭😭 so thank you for giving me a lil piece of them!!
#drm.ask#want-some-moriartea#im still screwed tbh but i missed tumblr too much to not take a little time out of the day to come on because it gives me dopamine lol
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ocd voice And also you should spend some time wondering if this is a manic episode induced by strattera or if you’re just kind of naturally Like This
#strattera is so fucking weird btw#snris i guess don’t interact with dopamine and therefore don’t count as stimulants but they basically have stimulant side effects???#txt#anyway we don’t actually have bipolar we had a really weird last november that our psychiatrist declined to unpack#and we don’t even feel glowy like we did then we just feel like we have to fix our entire life but are also making objectively shit progress#towards that goal#<- See like we could keep going and it would maybe be a pretty convincing profile of someone who is at least a little manic but that’s like#cherry picked data selected to support a bias#we might just be riding the emotional high of going to the mall. tbh.#if this IS mania mania fucking sucks. we’re not even getting the like savior delusions lavender had for all of october and november which#at least provided some kind of narrative arc to the whole thing and nice symbolism on top of it#but we’re like not happy and we’re definitely not accomplishing much so i don’t think. this is mania#(insert even longer digression about whether we secretly want to have bipolar etc etc collecting mental illnesses)#if you actually read all of these for some godforsaken reason hi!!!
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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Hello !!! I hope you’re doing fine and enjoyed last patch quest! I really really love your writing, and especially like the way you write Ratio,,,,, that yandere Drabble you posted a while ago with Ratio and Aventurine sharing reader has been haunting me in the best ways <33
Since your request are open, could I ask for a one-shot of yandere Ratio and Aventurine? If it’s fine I’ll ask for reader to be shy/introverted but otherwise I’ll leave it up to your inspiration! Maybe about life at home, or visit in Penacony? Maybe they’re tormenting Reader through strip-poker? Maybe Ratio was inspired by the shrinking device and now they’re having fun with their pocket-sized darling? Anything you fancy I’m not difficult, I only ask you have fun!! <3
(I assumed your no-sequel rule only applied to one-shot, I deeply apologise if I was wrong fjekjdksjd)
Inure
yandere!aventurine x reader x yandere!dr ratio
cw(s) : yandere, forced proximity, slight dehumanization (but everything is sauteed in humor so bon appetit ✨)
wc : 1k
hi nonnie!! thank you so much for your sweet words<3 tbh every idea you presented was very enticing and i'll definitely keep them in consideration for later. for now though, i really wanted to write something soft for these two, i hope you don't mind :>
Inconveniences come in many forms.
Some more candid than most, while others lurk in the shadows of carelessness like hyenas ; ready to pounce on the unsuspecting prey at the opportune time. Trouble and tribulation eclipse the course of human life, masquerading as two sides of the same coin. What they are, in truth, a pair of mischievous twins who are always watching, evaluating and trapping their victims in elation-filled jumpscares. It is also true that woes differ based on the individual, some even see fit to opine that the source of misery is the individual themselves.
Your vexations however, are dictated by two idiosyncratic persons with interests as farther apart as two solar systems. Which isn't a lot if one considers the magnificence of the universe, but distanced enough to be the tillable land of your miseries. Said inconveniences usually arrive dressed as revoked privileges, confiscation of entertainment items and... movie nights.
A night where you're supposed to be enjoying a film as a group shouldn't have been such an adversity if the aforementioned individuals respected the bare minimum of being normal. On usual occasions, who you end up accompanying is maintained through a strict schedule as opposed to the much friskier notion of rolling-dices that was favored by a certain blonde (in which he always emerged victorious and was thus declared irrationally imbalanced by Veritas) — but, an unforseen lapse of management and chaos was bred.
In matters that concern you, it seemed as though even the most seamless co-operations failed to reach a simple consensus. So when the erudite Dr Ratio expressed eagerness to spend a ‘relaxing afternoon’ with your person, it clashed quite clamorously with Aventurine's desire to have you participate in one of his many adrenaline-high games. And because of the decrease in release of dopamine that came from being a frequent observer of their arguments, you ended up suggesting this dreadful activity ; Ratio's silent perusal by your left and Aventurine's equally quiet phone browsing by your right are all that remains of the earlier fiasco.
You consider it a shame, because unbeknownst to them, you actually were plotting ways to watch this particular film. But, when at approximately fifteen minutes into the story you realized you were the only one among you three that was paying it any attention at all — you felt, quite blatantly, deflated. Surprisingly though, that was not the main source of your current misery at all, no, no ; what was causing you distress was the deplorable portion of space that they alloted to you from the couch.
At least Ratio has the habit of crossing his legs subconsciously, making your life just a miniscule easier. Unlike Aventurine whose default setting is to be attached to any patch of your skin anytime you're within his radius and when he brings that to the cauldron of being compressed between him and Ratio — it perfectly justifies why you're dancing between the provocative lines of mild annoyance and a meltdown. You'd believe they forgot about your existence altogether if not for Ratio's definitely-not-intentional shifting and the without context headpats from Aventurine.
Their treatment, although (probably) not deliberate, suggest you to be the equivalent of the pampered housecat and if one was to generously point out the expression on your face at present, that allegation would be right.
You stifle a sigh that transitions into a yawn with your only friend in this dreadful world, your plush pillow. The dialogues exchanged by the actors in the movie gradually become unintelligible as your vision morphs into a kaleidoscope of black dots and patterns. You draw your knees closer until they become parallel to your chin, musing a scenario where you lean so into the couch that it swallows your form and hurls you into a wonderland free of covetous hands or hearts. Where you could roam without eyes attached to every move you make and most importantly, where the notion of inconveniences would cease to exist.
You've seen it happen in shows a younger you indulged in and a passing thought makes you smile sardonically ; the world is so bizarre that you've effortlessly found yourself in a situation as complex as your current one but, not bizarre enough to make fantasies such as these a reality. The noises from the screen, Ratio's nonchalant page turning and the fragrance of Aventurine's cologne make your lucidity sway, until darkness cradles you close.
That night, you found yourself having a rather tender dream. In your dream, the blonde promptly busied himself in positioning you more comfortably on his lap upon feeling your slumbering head hit his shoulder. You felt succinctly amused upon the ‘place the pillow under their head, moron!’ that left a certain virtuoso's lips. Said virtuoso, shifted the rest of your body to be rested on his lap with a gentleness that baffled even Aventurine. Some say that dreams are manifestations of the desires that stay stagnant within the crevices of our minds. If that theory holds even a fraction of credence, then the percipience of what your subconscious desires, leaves you feeling as solemn as sated.
By the hour you gain awareness of the waking world again, there is but silence surrounding the living room. Your first blink is followed by a series of more and your sense of feeling works faster before your sense of sight, it sticks quite insistently just above your knees and atop your head. You roll a bit and realize they are in fact the hands of Ratio and Aventurine respectively, holding you away from kissing the floor and cracking your nose. As your vision gains more clarity, you notice the purple-head, supported by the palm of his left hand and the arm of the couch. You rise up and notice Aventurine mirroring Ratio's position, you conclude them both to be asleep judging by their collective inertia despite your movements.
Your eyes shift downwards towards the pillow on which you rested moments before and seeing it positioned exactly atop Aventurine's lap, confirm your suspicions that the scene you witnessed in your sleep had, in fact, happened in reality. Perhaps the universe heard your hopeless plea and bargained it with this speck of generosity.
They really didn't move an inch — but the bubbling warmth was soon pushed down by — as if I was a cat they didn't want to disturb!
being treated like a cat by two of the most cat-like characters in hsr lol
#requests: batch two#answered#yandere#yandere honkai star rail#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail x reader#yandere hsr x reader#yandere aventurine#yandere aventurine x reader#yandere dr ratio#yandere dr ratio x reader#yandere veritas ratio#yandere veritas ratio x reader#aventurine x reader#dr ratio x reader#veritas ratio x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader
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if you insist | jang wonyoung
synopsis: jang wonyoung, the biggest fuckgirl on campus, asks you, y/n l/n, an honors student, to study together after classes
pairing: scum!wonyoung x goodgirl!femreader
genres: college au, smut with plot lowkey and tbh that’s it help
tags: g!p wonyoung, college au, wonyoung is a fuckgirl, reader doesn’t know wonyoung has a dick, facefucking, cowgirl, wonyoung doesn’t care how reader feels in the beginning, wony is insufferable in this (sorry it must be said), some texting, reader and wony are both vers switches
warnings: none? just be mindful that wy kinda sucks at first but then we grow to enjoy her me thinks! (and she also has a dick so that’s that)
word count: 3.3k
a/n: i wasn’t originally gonna make her have a g!p but inspiration struck me and i just had to. also, sorry for taking so long with this!! i truly hope you enjoy it<3
“so, any questions?”
that sentence alone wakes basically most of the class up from their deep sleep, this is one of - if not the - most boring class in your program. every session of his is a literal snoozefest, you hadn’t slept well last night so this would’ve been your chance.
but you still managed to stay awake, you needed to ace this next test, keeping a streak of good grades is your main source of dopamine, so failing it was out of the question. well, it’s not like you failed any of them, anyway.
the class comes to an end and the students all pack their stuff to leave. as you put your books away, jang… wonyoung walks up to you? ‘what the hell does she want?’ you think to yourself. she leans on the desk and runs a hand through her long straight dark hair, her other hand inside of her gray hoodie’s pocket. you look at her up and down, then finally set your eyes on hers.
“what do you want?” you annoyingly ask her, grabbing your bag and jacket, her being the only thing holding you back from leaving.
“why so uptight, girl?” she grins, looking back at her friends as they laugh at this whole interaction. her friend group was a bunch of ugly frat guys, you weren’t surprised she associated herself with them though, she’s the exact same (just, much hotter). “i was just gonna ask you if you were busy later, baby.” not-so-subtly eyeing your every curve, even slightly tilting her head to catch a better glimpse of your ass, cheekily smiling.
you roll your eyes at the girl, “i don’t want to fuck you, wonyoung. now, if you’ll excuse me-“
then, she leans in, her taller figure towering over you and stopping you from moving forward, your heart skips a beat, despite you not really wanting it to, “who even mentioned sex, y/n? oh you totally picture me naked.” she smirks, peaking glances at your lips.
“get to the point. what do you really want?” you coldly respond, trying to not pay too much attention to her literally staring you down.
she backs up from you, chuckling as she readjusts her already good looking hair. “chill shawtyy, it was a jokee.” you glare, “anyways, i was just wondering if you wanted to study together later, back at your dorm? i barely listened in class, i’d like to actually understand the lecture this time.”
study together? actually understanding the lecture?? since when did this girl ever care about studies?
“oh, so now you’re trying to get good grades, jang wonyoung?” you say with a scoff, earning a playful smile from her in response.
“i guess that seeing you work so hard motivates me, l/n y/n.”
i mean, what could go wrong? if she’s really trying to improve her grades, then who were you to stop that? that would just be wrong of you. plus, it doesn’t look like she’s lying, either. you notice the hopeful look in her eyes, is she waiting for you to accept? you chuckled,
“i’ll think about it.” you say as you walk past her. then, making you jump, she slaps your ass before putting her hood on and jogging over to her friends, earning a high five from one of them as they all laugh. she looks over to you and winks, “see you later, mama.”
you can’t lie, that pet name sent a chill down your spine and you unfortunately couldn’t tell if it was a good one or not. could it even be considered a pet name? anywho, you walk to your next class, excited to see what the rest of the day brings you. and you kinda wish it involved wonyoung, because despite denying it, you did find her very attractive.
you’ll just have to wait and see.
-
after getting wonyoung’s number from your very ‘popular on campus’ friend, huh yunjin, you’re hesitant to text her. i mean, it’s not like your life right now is all that interesting to begin with, so maybe flirting with a fuckgirl is gonna help you kill your boredom.
smiling to yourself, satisfied with your decision, you grab your phone and type a quick message as you make your way to the exit. after saving her contact, you’re about to set your phone back in your pocket, and you get a notification.
she already responded? you open your phone and type out your next responses as you see her messages.
what?
and she just leaves you on delivered after that? what the fuck is wrong with her.. and what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you getting butterflies?? this is anything BUT cute. the typos? the winky face?? god you can literally visualize her smirk just from reading her messages. despite all of that, you giggle to yourself, but then quickly mentally beat yourself up for it. she’s just joking, is what you thought. you type out your dorm number and put your phone back in your pocket.
you get in your car then drive to your shared apartment. upon arriving, you immediately start rearranging the place. i mean, it’s not like she would care about your dorm looking pretty anyway, since hers probably doesn’t look any better. you’re doing this for your own self, you told yourself. thank god your roommate wasn’t home that day, you’d have a lot of explaining to do.
hours quickly went by as you cleaned up everything, you turn on your phone, reading the clock, 5:54 pm.
she’ll be here soon. you mentally prepare yourself, putting on different, more comfy-looking clothes, then proceed to sit on your couch. bouncing your leg up and down as you await the ringing of your doorbell, looking at the progressing time on your hanging clock. ‘why am i freaking out over this?’, you think to yourself. it’s not like you’re meeting a date, plus she’s probably gonna be late. reassuring yourself, you come to the conclusion that it’s because you haven’t received someone over in so long. of course you’d be exci-
ding dong!
quickly, you rush to your door and open it, finding the taller girl, wonyoung, leaning against the door frame. well, she’s surprisingly here on time. she’s wearing a backwards cap, a black zip up jacket over a white oversized t-shirt and some gray sweatpants.
you weren’t expecting anything grand coming from her, so the look doesn’t faze you.
she smirks at you eyeing her outfit, “did you miss me, bae?”, making you sigh as you roll your eyes, stepping aside to let her in.
“you’re on time, that’s surprising.” you say in a condescending tone. in response, she chuckles, taking off her jordan’s, “how could i keep you waiting?”
she steps foot into your house, observing everything, but only for a quick moment.
“damn, you keep this place neat though huh?” right as you were about to brag about being a very organized person, unlike her, she quickly cuts you off, “yeah sooo…. where your room at?”
you give her a look of disbelief.
“god, y/n, it’s so that we can study properly. who the fuck studies in the living room?” you process that for a moment and look away from her in slight shame, she probably didn’t even mean it like that. then, as you’re about to apologize,
“that text i sent you is still on your mind, hm? you’re cute.” she says, chuckling as she’s grabbing your waist, gently pushing you against one of your hallway’s walls. you unintentionally gulp, looking into her eyes, then at her lips.
“you want me to, don’t you? you want me to fuck your brains out?” leaning into you, she whispers against your ear. you can feel her hot breath on it, making you shiver. but instead of actually doing anything, she quickly steps away from you, a smirk plastered on her face.
what the fuck.
“no but seriously, where’s your room shawty?” she nonchalantly asks, as if she wasn’t all up on you not even 5 seconds ago?? god, what is with this girl? you just blink at her in complete disbelief and confusion, then lead her to your room.
-
“so that explains why that phrase could be interpreted as a lot of different things. does that make sense?” you ask her, her gaze instantly meeting yours, like she wasn’t looking at the book. was she even listening?
“…what are you looking at.” you coldly add.
“sorry, i wasn’t listening.” she smirks, still looking at you, eyes darting back and forth between your lips and eyes. you scoff, mumbling an annoyed i know as you close the book in question, sitting up. you’ve had enough, she’s driving you insane.
“look, if you’re just here to sit around and do nothing you might as well just leave. i mean, you’re not even paying attention nor are you fucking me right now, so this just seems like a waste of time.” you snap at her. in response, her eyes widen, she definitely wasn’t expecting you to be so blunt. she then grins.
“which one are you waiting for me to do?” she smirks, getting closer to you.
frustrated at yourself for even wanting wonyoung to do you in the first place, an annoyed “fuck you.” was all that could come out of your mouth.
“i mean, if you insist.” she smirks, and places her lips onto yours, forcefully and roughly. quickly, she brushes her tongue along your lips, asking for entrance. you part your lips, allowing her tongue to roam around your mouth. before you could even realize, she was on top of you, her jacket and cap off and her hard on pressing on your stomach.
wait. her.. hard on???
you quickly push her away in surprise. she looked at you, a confused look painted on her face. “what?” she asks you.
“y-you. you have a dick??” you hesitantly ask her back. it’s not that you were against it, quite the opposite, even. but, it just caught you by surprise. since when did she… okay, dumb question.
she scoffs in amusement, “I thought everyone knew that? why do you think straight girls like me so much?”
ugh, nevermind, she was so much hotter when she wasn’t talking. before you could say anything else, though,
“you wanna see it, y/n?”
you reluctantly nod, earning a sly smile from her. quickly, she grabs the waistband of her not-so-boner-proof sweatpants and pulls it down, revealing black calvin klein boxers, her cock poking through.
“take it off.” she basically orders you, making you glare at her. you didn’t like listening to anything wonyoung said, but saying you were horny would be an understatement and you didn’t feel like stalling. you pull the boxers down, making her throbbing dick bounce up at you before sitting up.
dear god, it was big. you couldn’t exactly blame the girls who begged to fuck her anymore, cause if you knew it was that huge before, you would have thought about it a lot more. it’s girthy and veiny while being slightly above average size. it’s weirdly pretty for being used to fuck a bunch of girls, you keep that to yourself, though. you don’t wanna inflate her already huge ego.
before she could say anything arrogant about her size, you put the head in your mouth, slowly circling your tongue around the tip. quickly, you work towards taking the entire length as she groans and throws her head back. suddenly, though, as you’re still sucking, she unexpectedly grabs your head and forces her cock all the way down your throat, earning a gag from you and a moan from her.
“you were going too slow.” she specified, groaning and relentlessly fucking your throat. you would never admit it outloud, but you loved the way she was roughly pulling on your hair, using your mouth to get off. it hurt your ego, your pride, being used by a fuckgirl like this, being used by wonyoung like this. it was degrading, but you still loved it.
you keep letting her handle you like this for a long while, working your tongue on her tip and shaft in the process of her moving your head up and down her cock. hair all on your face, you didn’t even bother tying it, you liked it messy, and she apparently did too. her moans and groans getting higher and shorter, her grip getting tighter, you can only assume that she’s getting closer to finishing.
“fuck baby.. you’re gonna be good and swallow it all, okay?” she said, still using your throat. soon enough, she lets out a long moan and you quickly feel her dick slightly throb, spurting out a warm and thick liquid everywhere in your mouth, it was bitter and salty. you pull away and she looks at you, smirking and expecting you to swallow, which you don’t wanna give her the satisfaction of seeing. you wanted to see how far she would go, what she would do to you.
when she sees that you’re not doing what she asked, “come on, swallow it, you bitch.” she tells you, grabbing your jaw and smiling at you in a mocking way. you probably look like a huge whore to her right now, cum slightly spilling out of your mouth and everything. you glare at wonyoung and swallow all of it like she asked earlier, all of her semen, keeping eye contact. in response to that, she chuckles and grabs your cheek, patting it. “atta girl, you’re hotter when you do what you’re told.”
you roll your eyes as she chuckles and push her back on the bed, eyeing her still very hard dick. in a swift motion, you take off your jeans and panties, hovering over her. then, you sit down on it, slowly taking in all the length.
“you a virgin?” she asks you, holding onto your waist.
“no, why? you think i don’t know how to ride di-“
she grips on your waist and unexpectedly pushes you down onto her cock, making you accidentally let out a loud noise, a mix between a moan and a yelp. it was painful being penetrated so fast, especially by something so big but the sensation was also.. amazing. before you could have the chance to ask her to go slowly, though, she’s already pumping in and out, increasing her speed progressively. okay, now, it hurts.
“can you go slower for - mmh - f-fuck’s sake..”
“no? you take things too fucking slowly, i’m here to cum, not fall asleep.” she grunts, still lifting you up and down her cock, using you like she would a fleshlight. you notice that she gets a lot more annoying during sex, meaner, even. and you hate to admit it, but you’ve also noticed that you seem to enjoy it a lot.
“fuuuck babygirl, you’re so tight.” she mumbles as she presses her thumb onto your exposed clit and plays with it, earning a whimper from you. you feel your walls clench around her as you roughly bounce on her, taking in all of her length.
she’s fucking you so roughly, magically hitting all of the right spots, as if she knows exactly where they are. you couldn’t help but let out the lewdest most shameless noises known to man, it feels too good not to. she definitely didn’t use her mouth for much, but god did she know how to use her cock.
after a while of you bouncing up and down on her, you already feel like you could cum, despite trying your hardest to keep it in, to enjoy it a little longer. a knot was starting to form in your lower stomach, fuck, you were so close, and the fact that she was fucking you so roughly nonstop was making it so hard to keep it contained.
“fuck y/n i’m about to cum again..” she whimpers out needily, once again tightly holding onto your waist. you can’t let her though, not yet. you grab her wrists and pin them above her head, preventing her from touching you. a confused but very aroused expression plastered on her face.
“you can wait a little longer, right?” you ask, but in a tone that basically makes it seem like an order. she glares at you, gaze full of lust yet worry. you could tell she liked the sense of being in control, and that she felt vulnerable in this state. she usually was doing the fucking, not whatever this is. and she was even more frustrated that she liked it.
she moaned, chest heaving up and down from the effort she’s putting in to not climaxing, especially inside of you. you ride her dick, changing the speed to your liking. sometimes moving painfully slow, making her sensitive tip throb at the sensation, other times riding it like there was no tomorrow, she felt it everywhere, your slick running up and down her entire shaft in a fast motion. “c-can i cum yet? you’re being so - fuck - annoying.” she messily asks you, the feeling of you bouncing on her making her stumble over her words.
“maybe i’d let you if you weren’t so goddamn impatient.” you say, moaning out the words.
you were making it so hard for her, she actually thought she would pass out. thankfully for her, though, you quickly get closer to finishing, the noises coming out of your mouth getting louder and higher. then, you feel yourself clench around her length.
seeing you like this, hearing you call out her name as you came all over her cock, it all just made her arousal grow even more. she really couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“y/n please get off i need to cum ineedtocu-“
“cum inside of me.” you interrupted, you were still coming down from your high and you needed her to fill you up. you were on the pill, but she didn’t need to know that yet. you wanted to see how far she would actually go. “w-what? are you fucking crazy what if i get you pre-“ you cut her off by lifting yourself up on her cock, then back down, earning a cute moan from her.
“fill me up, wony. do it.”
upon hearing those words, the nickname, her eyes widen and she bites her bottom lip, throwing her head back as she pants from all the different feelings she felt. she would’ve actually thought about it more if she wasn’t horny out of her mind at the moment.
a mind blanking orgasm hits her, and you can feel the familiar feeling of her warm thick juices filling up your cunt again as you both moan in unison. she rambles out fucks and oh my gods as she takes it all in. watching her become such a mess just because of you.. if you weren’t so tired, that would’ve definitely made you wanna fuck her again. poor baby has probably never even been edged by a girl before.
you watched her as she came down from her high, head still thrown back as she’s panting and heaving. then, she lifts it back up to look at you, smiling shyly. was this the same wonyoung you knew? because if yes, she got significantly cuter.
you laid down on her, resting your head in the crook of her neck. you didn’t even bother pulling her dick out of you, it felt comfortable, and honestly? you were way too lazy to.
“so, are you gonna be telling this to your friends?” you jokingly ask her.
“they’d never let me live it down if they knew you got me begging for you, girl.. so, no.” she confessed, making you giggle.
“also shawty, if you do get pregnant, just be aware that i will not be taking care of the baby.” she adds.
you hum, “you’ll still fuck me whenever you feel like it though, right?”
she chuckles in response, “i mean..
if you insist.”
#smut#kpop gg#female reader#ive#jang wonyoung#ive jang wonyoung#ive wonyoung#ive smut#wonyoung x reader#wonyoung x female reader#jang wonyoung x reader#jang wonyoung x female reader
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Zayne’s load size tier list
I wasn’t expecting my next tier list to be this but I couldn’t stop thinking about Foreseer so here we are
Contains: This is a tier list about cum. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Actually, everyone just look away tbh no one needs to read this ahdkshskdg
S Tier
Foreseer. He’s been frozen on his throne for most of his life, waiting to impart his prophecies to those who come to him once every hundred years. Even when he’s awake for these moments, the thought of sex never crosses his mind. So when MC comes to the tower and makes him feel all these new feelings he’s never felt before, all that cum in his balls waiting millennia to burst out finally has a chance to make an appearance
And my boy’s packing a LOADED WEAPON
Foreseer is a fucking fountain of cum. Powerful streams of yearning, aching, finally bursting free
This man isn’t just S Tier. He’s an S+++ Tier cum machine
A Tier
Dawnbreaker. He’s always thinking about his dream girl, whether he’s awake or asleep. He’s seen the way the doctor’s hands caress her skin, heard the way her breath hitches, seen the way her mouth hangs open when she’s taking his cock so desperately. Those dreams give him all the motivation he needs to milk his own cock night after night. He doesn’t need anything extra. Just the thought of her is enough to make him cum over and over again
The tank is never empty when he’s yearning so desperately for someone that it feels like his heart has a gaping hole in it and he’s bleeding out
It makes him feel connected to her, to have the warm feeling of dopamine and oxytocin flood his brain and make him feel like a part of her is with him. He’s desperate to feel her, to get close to her, to express his love to her… but he’ll have to settle for being alone with just his memories of her
B Tier
I’d consider this a normal level, one where they’re more… emotionally stable lol
Doctor Zayne. He’s definitely kept busy by MC’s needs. They may have busy schedules, but they plan their dates and end up having sex in regular intervals, meaning he’d be able to release regularly. His body would produce a fair bit, enough to satisfy MC when she gets frisky. And girl knows she wants what she wants. Overall, Zayne would have a healthy sex life with a healthy amount of cum
Master of Fate. He’s had wild nights with some priestesses in the past and that would’ve put him into A Tier, but by the time he meets MC, he’s calmed down and matured. He doesn’t want women as offerings to him anymore. He wants a true lover
And he loves MC in a similar way as the doctor does. His love is sensual, appreciative, generous. He makes sure his lover is well-sated before he focuses on his own desire. He isn’t in a rush to reach his climax. He’s had centuries of countless climaxes already. His main focus is to make MC feel good
#love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#foreseer#dawnbreaker#master of fate#zayne tier lists#headcanons
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OT8 SKZ
(I'm putting this at the start of every list, so ignore it if you want)
Just wanna say that this is pretty much just for me to catalog all the fics and random things that I like, so idk, just enjoy it if you want lol
Full Name
Calling them their full name in bed, VERY mixed reactions, a little icky tbh I still like it tho
Subspace
Some INTENSE fucking in the beginning, soo so fluffy, this Bin has me in Literal tears lol
Fave Way Of Getting You Off
Thigh riding *cue foaming at the mouth* toys, and much more
Virginity
Kind of it, Chan's is super duper cute, Seungmo being surprisingly soft lol
Kinks
Public stuff, begging, kinda what you'd expect tbh
Live
Givin' em brain while they're live, Min singing a song??? like??
Calling Him Daddy
Himbo Binnie, I really like Chan's, rough, cute lil drabble
Hyung Line X Virgin Reader
Nosy ass Hyunjin, Riding Binnie bc of course
Maknae Line X Virgin Reader
Sweet Jisung :( rough Min, Innies is in public lol
Perv Maknae Line
Jisung w. a chewing(?) kink, Jisung that likes to get pegged, hairband-stealer Lix??? Seungmo w. a breeding kink, wet dreams-Innie has me in a literal CHOKEHOLD
Munch
MunchSKZ needs more fics fr
Personal Time
How and what they use to jack off, SeungIn's is my fav
Lingerie
Sending them texts of you in lingerie, it's so mmm but so fluffy at the same time
TwT Links
*Gasp* A masterlist in another list???? lol
Pullout
Binnie being a respectful boy, Innie being a worrywart, Hannie can't control hisself
Car Ride
Sooo... this one is a little, uh yeah, tw for... piss, please don't judge meeee, literally so hot thooo, Hannie's basically a toilet
Sub Sandwich Hyung Line
Your first time subbing, Chan's could quite literally send me to the psych ward if I let it, hair pulling, overstim, and dacryphilia, yum
Contact Names
Honestly made me chuckle, cutie patootie Bin
Sharing Is Caring (MeanRacha)
Double pen. in one hole, my favorite hehe, Innie's BIG, cnc bracelet except it's not really
Can I Kiss You?
So cute God, nervous Minho :( lmao you're already fucking Binnie before kissing him? sure, Innies is so, just, domestic it's adorableee
Favorite Positions Hyung Line
STRONG Bin, ass guy Min, cuddling Jin, and riding Chan. Perfection
Appearance
The Most accurate headcannons on how their schlongs look imo
When You Struggle To Eat
Super adorable drabble, 2Min's are my favorite
Reward
Who and why the think that getting/ giving head is a reward
Choreo
It's so fucking funny istg
Favorite Place To Kiss You
Gaahhhh tummy kisses with Binnn, also Min's is so like.. surprisingly romantic, I'm in love
TwT Links And Descriptions
I honestly just saved this one for the links
With A Sleepy S/O
Cute and pretty short, it's here to give you a little dopamine boost :)
Mice
Guys, I- this genuinely made me chuckle
Mishaps
Snapshots of them making mistakes in bed lol, ex. banging your head against the wall...
#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#bang chan#lee know#changbin#hyunjin#han jisung#felix#seungmin#i.n#list#fanfic#spread love
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some ideas if you want to test how far you can go
obviously you are limitless, but you need to see how far you can go yourself, lester had the motto of 'i only know that which i can do' and asked 'what can i do?' since why not go all the way? not out of obligation or fear, but to see how much you can maximise your peace and joy! do it for the truth!
almost all of these require mindfulness as you need to be able to catch yourself in the moment of the mind's chatter - that you can get through being in the present moment (read eckhart tolle's practicing the power of now). infact your whole life will be based on the present moment, and not being in it makes it infinitely harder so please read the book.
whoever i expected something from: give to myself
before you do this: go here! (getting to a state of neutrality first might make this easier)
this one is to think back on a person that you don't like, now think abt whether you expected something from them. did you want them to act a certain way? now, whatever peace, love, security that you think they were meant to give you, feel that yourself
and even if it was someone that is meant to give you those things, you will need to release your hatred of them and give them up. you don't need to forgive them right now, but you will soon when you won't care much of their impact on your life and when you see that everybody is acting off insane levels of fear. i released my hatred of someone who is literally meant to take care of me and now i don't care abt them, i used to hate having any contact with them but now i can talk to them and not have my mind run 50 miles an hour. also! they called me to say that they're working on themself & will repair what they did
just keep doing that and going back to other people until you feel no more obligation to care abt what they did! this is (one way to) how you become free of attachment to people, and less anger
astral projection
pretty self explanatory, just try ap, it'll make you see you're not your body
for this i'd definitely see how far i could travel and for how long
‘No matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems.’
this one is to affirm this at the start of your day and surrender all trouble and control, just this one day (or longer) you'll let yourself have no problems
throughout the day you can remind yourself, when you are getting wound up, that today you've given up troubles and problems
this requires mindfulness - that you can get through being in the present moment (read eckhart tolle's practicing the power of now)
‘Am i willing to live (in a world) with no problems?’
this is just a question to be used for self-inquiry, meditation, an affirmation, whatever
‘What would i do if there were no others?’
same as the last question
no input
no music, no books, no overconsumption, no anything
just like a dopamine detox?
this one might be hard too (and maybe a bit useless, but try it?)
‘From here on, i have everything i need as i need it’
this one is to affirm this at the start of your day and surrender all trouble and control, just this one day (or longer) you'll let yourself have everything you need
throughout the day you can remind yourself, when you are getting wound up, that today you've given up worrying, anticpation of the worst and projecting into the future
this requires mindfulness - that you can get through being in the present moment (read eckhart tolle's practicing the power of now)
remove time - stop living through memory and anticipation
"Time and mind are inseparable. Remove time from the mind and it stops - unless you choose to use it. To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation." - eckhart tolle, practising the power of now, pg. 31
self explanatory again, just remove time lol
idk you gonna have to figure this one out yourself
good challenge tbh
deleting or revising something everybody knows
not just some memory only you and 2 people remember, something like changing the name of earth itself
or historical events, or the order a song came out from your favourite artist
go crazy! keep in mind that there's no big or small, its all the same concept in awareness, even if i do imply it
just thinking abt when you go to search the thing you revised in google and it doesn't come up lol
live as if theres no past
this one is something that you should definitely try
i think this becomes the norm when you are present in the now (which is why its so important!)
the point is when you go bed, wipe out your past, through whatever way you like. then in the morning make a declaration that the past is no longer relevent! no longer will you go back to it as a source of identity, breaking the habit of it!
inspired by this quote by osho
i think this one will yield interesting results
in the end, the goal is not especially to get results, but to release fear and limitations. you also get to practise being in the present moment!
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kisses with the genshin men
- includes ayato, diluc, itto, tighnari, wanderer
- a/n: cough uhm. im a simp. anyways. tighnari is a little ooc and also kinda suggestive?? not really but a little. everything is just a lot of fluff tbh, enjoy ! if you want me to do this with other characters, please let me know!
AYATO
- oh this man knows he's good. which is really odd, considering he's never kissed anyone before you, always too busy for relationships. apparently the ever-so-talented yashiro commissioner is a very quick learner and became a great kisser in such a short time.
- that and he's just really good at picking up on what makes your knees weak. his thumb brushes against your cheek, hand gripping your hip firmly as he kisses his way up your jaw, to the corner of your mouth, until finally he softly connects your lips together. he holds you like you're the most precious thing in teyvat, slowly walking you backwards until you're sitting on the desk in his office, arms wrapped around his neck and playing with his hair.
- the type to whisper praises in between kisses. small things like "you look stunning today," and "i love you more than anything."
- hold him close to you and tell him how much you missed him while he was working. he'll hum into the kiss approvingly, maybe muttering teasingly how he should be ashamed for keeping his lover waiting for so long. you're really one of the main things that motivates him to get through all the boring meetings and paperwork. coming back to you and getting to kiss you until he's left breathless.
DILUC
- diluc rarely kisses you on the mouth. most of the time, his kisses are in quick and passing moments. a kiss to the forehead or crown of your head, the back of your knuckles, to your jaw. it's not like he wants them to be so quick, he's just very busy and always on the move
- plus, when he is finally able to place his lips on yours, he prefers to savor it - kiss you slowly, deeply, make sure he can pour all of his love into his kiss so you know how much he cares. he's never been one for words, so passionate kisses when he's holding you like you'll disappear if he lets go will have to do.
ITTO
- probably one of the most, if not the most, playful kisser on this list. he just gets so giddy being so close to you, he can't help it.
- absolutely the type to smile into the kiss and playfully bite at your lips.
- also, there's not really any quick casual kisses with him. most of the time, you kiss him first, a quick peck before trying to walk away, but he grabs you by the wrist and kisses you again, deeper, tongue slipping into your mouth.
- one small kiss turns into a make out session with him. you're in public? so what, nothing's gonna stop the arataki itto from loving his amazing partner. (you learned very quickly to kiss him in more secluded areas)
- he'll finally pull away and see you panting, trying to catch your breath, and say some shit like, "what? has the great 'arataki itto' made you at a loss for words?' and then start ranting about how good he is at kissing, you'll have to kiss him again to shut him up.
TIGHNARI
- tighnari never really saw the appeal in kissing. from his standpoint, placing one's lips on another's didn't produce any noticeable chemical reactions that would make it satisfying, aside from the dopamine in your brain increasing, but you can get that from eating good food or engaging in a hobby so why did people like it so much?
- that is, until he met you. past-him would want to die in shame at how present-him could not keep his lips off of you. behind the closed doors of his quarters, tighnari finds himself on top of you, hands on either side of your head holding him up, one knee in between your legs. run your hands through his hair please, play with his ears a little and he's putty in your hands.
- instant k.o. when one of your hands is playing the base of his ears while the other is running through his tail. this usually composed and sarcastic man loses the ability to think when you do that.
- he's desperate in the way that his lips press against yours, giving into his almost carnal desire to devour your mouth with his. there's a little bit of teeth, him biting your lip to ask for permission to take it even further. when you open your mouth for him, his tongue quickly darts inside, running along your muscle as if he's trying to memorize the very shape of it.
- and honestly, he probably is. with how long he has to be away from you during his patrols in the avidya forest, it's no surprise how desperate he is for you when he gets back.
WANDERER
- okay he has his moments where he's the "mean, biting your lip, being aggressive and stuff" type of kisser but also, why would he be kissing you if he didn't care about you deeply.
- he only kisses you behind closed doors, not because he's ashamed, but because he thinks those moments should only be seen by the two of you.
- he kisses you like it'll be the last time he sees you for the rest of eternity. like you'll fade away as soon as your lips leave his. he holds one of your hands while his other one is wrapped around your waist bringing you as close as possible to him. even that's not close enough, judging by how he's basically trying to mold his lips with yours. you're one of the only ones who stayed, treated him like more than a puppet, cared for him despite seeing his flaws.
- maybe you feel some tears fall from his eyes onto you, but don't mention it or he will leave.
#genshin#genshin impact#kamisato ayato#kamisato ayato x reader#ayato fluff#diluc x reader#diluc fluff#arataki itto x reader#arataki itto fluff#tighnari#tighnari x reader#tighnari fluff#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche fluff#wanderer genshin#genshin fluff
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I don't think self-deprecation or concern for the person's well-being is ever going to come across well to someone saying they like what you do. Maybe I'm missing something, but there are reasons to like your art besides being miserable. Even if only the truly miserable liked your work, responding to them by pointing out how miserable they must be wouldn't feel great for them. Your art isn't giving them depression, and it's not like you're contributing to net suffering by making art with ~themes~, so it seems unnecessary to bring up. You suggested that if you struggle to enjoy life, and you make something, anyone who resonates will also struggle to enjoy life. I disagree. Some people will like it for completely shallow reasons. Some people have empathy for others' suffering. You can have a decent life and no mental illness and probably still appreciate a well-drawn skeleton. I don't know what kind of art a perfect world would produce, but any world where people are mortal is going to have sadness, and some art will reflect that. Yours isn't uniquely dark.
Sorry if you've gotten 100 asks saying this same thing. I wasn't sure based on the ones you responded to, and I just found your blog. I know it's sort of a joke, bc you do still sell art prints and stuff, so you clearly are okay with people liking your art. Tbh, I /had/ depression for a few years, so I'm not exactly proof against the theory that your art somolehow only appeals to depressed people. It seems unlikely, though. And the way you talk about your art as "garbage" kind of gave me flashbacks to the sort of self-deprecating humor I'd use when I hated myself. I don't know you or how you're doing, but that feeling made me want to say something.
You didn't just miss something, you missed like, everything I've ever said on my blog about like, everything to the point I'm not even sure this was intended for me? Like I'd break it down, point by point and be like 'no what are you smoking' but that'd be a waste of time after the 'why do you think my art gives people depression!?' part of whatever this is. Like, this is offensive levels of trying to make me be someone I'm not for the sake of a hypothetical argument against a strawman. So if, you want to take offense to who I am in case you misclick and end up here again here's an asshole enough of a response to give you a legitimate reason to find me intolerable:
Welcome to my page! I make art, jokes, and bullshit with folks to make people happy. I started doing this when I was big sad, because cheering people up cheers me up. Now, here's the crazy part: some people are very sad, and sometimes they tell me it makes them a small amount of happy, which gives me dopamine and makes me do it again. The word 'some' means 'not everyone', or even 'a fraction of a percentage'. For example, in this case, it means 'most people just like my drawings but some people get an extra lil bit out of it'. I don't take myself seriously because I know that the art world is insanely intimidating to those outside of it, and sometimes artists tend to be egotistical and condescending, a word that means 'having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority'. Naturally, I do everything in my power to avoid that, because I'm a very 'gates open' kinda person.
So, here's the WILD part: in my perfect world I would've never had depression. Now, I know, that would have been inconvenient for you as someone who passed by my page one time, and I do apologize. I also apologize that I don't make 'dark art', because I like frogs and mice doing cool shit. Finally, I apologize for my art having -~*themes and concepts*~-, I know good art only comes from ChatGPT and that was my bad.
Sike, I didn't apologize, my fingers were crossed behind my back when I said that. Fuck you for thinking me not wanting to be around for a decade is 'worth' because I drew a mediocre skeleton, and because somehow sadness is necessary. That line of thinking is so awful, here's a video explaining it:
youtube
PS: the reason my friends and I in these parts call my art 'art garbage' is because that's what my professors called it back in school for like 4 years, back when I started this shitshow. Much love.
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female (yin)-centric exercises and movement practices
i am personally all for the burgeoning popularity of somatics and i think the rise of pilates is wonderful.
for a long time, "exercise" meant hitting the gym and painfully enduring sessions that felt like physical torture. unless you're a high performance athlete, i dont really see the merit in resistance training tbh. obviously everybody has different tastes and preferences and some people probably find somatics and pilates too boring and slow and want something more high intensity which is 👍🏼
however, for many of us who struggle to keep up with these and repeatedly admonish ourselves for being "lazy" due to our inability to thrive or be consistent or enjoy these workouts, there are manyyyy other forms of practices that are wonderful and fun to do and are perhaps better suited for our bodies, temperaments, lifestyles etc
first of all, the concept of "exercise" has become synonymous with either losing weight or making gains. we are told that we have to "exercise" to stay fit. but exercise can mean manyyy different things, its not just cardio and weights. and this means a lot of people think if you're not trying to gain or lose anything, you dont "need" to "exercise".
but this is not true, i think "movement" is a better word and everybody regardless of their weight, age, gender or whatever else needs to move their bodies. we were not meant to just sit, stand and lay down, we need to move. not to serve some moral purpose of "fitness" (another flawed concept) but because its spiritually, physically and emotionally bad for us to not move. we feel more alive when we move. our culture has become so dopamine fried, sex addicted, toxic eating and drug abusing in large part because our lifestyles are so sedentary and we crave stimulation. we wouldnt depend on external substances to feel "alive" if we felt that aliveness within us every day.
you dont need to "exercise" but you def need to move!!! when we dont, we feel lethargic, stagnant, our joints (from years of inactivity) become more sensitive, our body hurts, our immunity suffers and aging can bring aches of all kinds but this does not have to be anybody's reality. we change this!!
you're not lazy for not exercising, if you liked how doing an activity made you feel, you would do it all the time. dont punish yourself!!!
i personally think strength training works for many people. this can mean, swimming, cycling, hiking, dancing, pilates, yoga, barre etc
now about somatic movement practices,
somatics is all about the mind-body connection and intentional movement. pilates (which was basically developed from yoga) and yoga are examples of somatic practice
but there are other methods as well:
Rolfing
Alexander method
Feldenkrais method
Laban movement analysis
Fascia training (myofascial release)
and somatic practices also include things like progressive muscle relaxation, emotional freedom technique, body scanning etc
i know it can all be a little overwhelming but tbh there is a lot of overlap between all of these practices so dont feel like you're missing out by not trying them all,, stick to what feels right for you and focus on that.
yin yoga and restorative yoga (very similar but also different) are also helpful
the reason i put "female centric" in the title is bc i feel like the world of diet and exercise is dominated by a masculine worldview of doing things the hard way/aggressive way and by acting with resistance/restraint instead of a more open/whole approach and valuing "slow" progress over quick and easy ones. the reason why ppl hit the gym make quick progress and then relapse is bc its genuinely difficult to put up with a gym routine for most people who aren't physically immune to pain. movement does not have to "hurt", be "draining" or a proof of your willpower as a human being. its fun, easy, natural, fulfilling and a part of life<333 you can proceed more slowly and make progress over time but tbh you'll be lost in the flow so you wont bother checking to see if you have and life is long so there's no rush!! what we gain slowly will last us forever!! bc we alter our body's alignment and our own relationship with it + our lifestyle/routine to truly embody it instead of a "crash and burn" style that leads to burnout.
remember, the river wears out the rocks not through force but simply by flowing<3
anybody can do these exercises btw, not just women lol
if you have doubts or questions, feel free to ask me <333
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Lot of takes going around the internets about certain "deaths" in the ofmd season finale, so, uh-- guess it's time for me to try and lose some followers on tumblr dot com with
Some Thoughts on Why I Am Not Particularly Bothered or Concerned about Izzy's Apparent "Death"
Laying the groundwork first...
1. Narratively speaking, Izzy's been a dead man walking since the start of the season. Babe shot himself and got a rebirth-- but he still definitely intended to die. Every minute he was still around was borrowed time.
Did he have to die? Maybe not. I know I could've written a version of the show where he didn't. But then that would be my show-- not theirs. I can't know exactly what themes, bugbears, bête noires, catharsis, or artistic Vibes are driving that writers' room, and until the credits run on the finale of the third season, none of the rest of us can either.
2. Izzy spent the season being in a liminal state-- and there's nothing in the story saying that he can't continue doing that. Izzy spent the season having one foot in one space, one hoof in the other, and himself halfway through the door, a chimera of mirrored things right up to his "death": pirate and ship, hard and soft, old ways and new, etc etc. But "the gravy basket" is a weird little liminal space between life and death, a place that both Ed and Buttons have found (and returned from) before. We don't know where Izzy "is" right now-- he could be there.
(tbh, I wonder how much poor feeling we'd be having about all this if we'd gotten a final tag of a blue-washed Izzy staring down at a bowl of soup while helplessly saying "but this isn't gravy, what the fu--")
3. I think there is an unfortunate belief that "it's not real unless you see the body" is a universal -- or perhaps inarguable -- "fact" of storytelling. But it's not. It's just a bit of narrative shorthand that got popular, and now we're too ready to fall into the trap of believing the inverse is true too-- that if there is a body, then there must therefore have been a "real" death.
This season has spent quite a lot of narrative time and effort telling us that its story is using a different model, with different shorthands; specifically, that magic is real, that there is at least some kind of existence after death, and that the dead can be resurrected.
And that brings me to the meat of why I'm not particularly bothered or concerned about what, at this stage of the story, could still very well be just a minor setback--
4. This whole show, and particularly this season, is a fairy tale. It's a story that works with fairy tale logic and tropes, and it's in conversation with other fairy tales too, ones that the OFMD audience is likely to know well enough to spot their narrative beats in action. So "Pinocchio" gets mentioned a lot? Cool-- the audience applies what is commonly known of that story to this one ("a real boy", the mirror-opposite being a puppet with no nose, etc), and finds some Cool Shit. Then they're primed to keep looking for fairy tales, even unnamed ones, in case there's another little nugget of reward-dopamine for finding a connection.
So the fact that we saw a mermaid? Suddenly, I personally am noticing "Little Mermaid" motifs all over the place. That Ed was in a "sleep like death" -- after fucking around with a spinning wheel -- until his prince came to wake him? Well fuck, man, that's Blackbeard playing "Sleeping Beauty" for us all.
And bringing it all back to a "dead" Izzy Hands... when I add up a "dead" body surrounded by a bunch of laborers mourning the person who nominally kept their living space nice AND who was wanted dead by an authority figure for the crime of being the "better" version of what that figure wanted to be...
...well fuck, idk about the rest of you, but to me that all adds up to Izzy's story being Snow fucking White. Waiting for someone to come pull the bullet poisoned apple from his body so he can live again.
5. This is a second season. Of three. And Izzy Hands is the writer's favorite chewtoy, so there is lots of time, space, and incentive to bring him back. If there's a third season, we have a pile of ways he could be brought back over the course of hours of literal viewing time and possibly months of in-narrative time. That's ages.
And the solutions don't have to be difficult! For instance, we still have canonical hallucinations from Stede-- that's one route. Or fuck it, we could have Izzy's (very solid-looking) ghost be the embodiment of their being haunted by the Sea, that would work too.
And even barring all that-- his grave is right there with our heroes. The ship is out there hunting down his murderer. Even if you're happy he's dead... bad news, friend. He's all over the third season landscape. (uh oh, it's GNU Izzy Hands)
But those are just a few options that leave his body rotting but his character still alive. I happen to think we could all dream a little bigger, darlings. For instance:
A. You cannot tell me that these writers, on this show, with these actors, would not absolutely go all in on a zombie-esque hand thrusting out of the dirt mere hours after burial. Look me in the eyes and tell me Con O'Neill wouldn't pull off an entire digging-out scene only to end with himself panting beside the hole, looking around, hearing Ed and Stede being weird in their haunted hut, and wearily say, "Are you fucking kidding me."
B. Don't like zombies? Want to stay closer to the Snow White vibe AND introduce a love interest for him? One hyphenated word: body-snatcher. Gotta dig those bodies up fresh for the Definitely Historically Accurate anatomists of the time! But oh, says this New Guy, this corpse is-- wow, it's weird that they buried him with a rose and really amazing makeup and a truly extraordinary number of whittled whales, plus what's with that horsey leg grave marker, this guy must've been fucking fascinating, man, I wish I could've met him-- --at which point Izzy's hand shoots out and chokes the guy half to death and the lads come tumbling out of the house and ta da, mission accomplished, Izzy resurrected in 5 minutes or less with his horsey leg conveniently beside him and an entire season for himself and everyone else to Deal With It, amazing, fantastic, no notes from me.
C. Come to think of it, there is genuinely a non-zero chance that the crew just. Fucked up the burial. I mean... even though I was just arguing why we shouldn't see it as Law, we didn't actually see the body. We saw a grave. What did they bury him in? Was it a box? Was it some canvas? Did they definitely pick up the right one when it was time to bury him? Or did they maybe carefully make him an ahistorical safety coffin just in case a cat demon came to bother him and his corpse wanted to make a fuss about it, y'know, very common, could happen to anyone, and Frenchie just so happens to have Blackbeard's old collar bell right here--
6. Here's the bottom line, imo: The only thing that would keep Izzy really actually dead and completely removed from the story is a lack of narrative time and space-- and we have plenty of both. Stories are like Lego. If you've got enough time and you're willing to play with pieces from a whole lotta different sets, it's not hard to put the same elements together in different ways to get new, exciting configurations. It's why I'm actually rubbish at predicting exact details of stuff-- there are a lot of ways something could go, there are infinite doors out of problems the narrative seems to throw at us, and no two people will come up with the same thing because we're all different.
That, to me, is one of the big ways I personally enjoy and engage with stories. And it's why I genuinely can't be fussed about Izzy's death, not when we're only two-thirds through the story as a whole; observing someone setup and then try and execute a complicated narrative trick is my jam.
But my way of engaging with all this is by no means the best or only way. How we all interact with art, and what speaks to us, is extremely personal. If how this season and Izzy's death went just didn't work for you, that's okay. I'm sorry it wasn't the story you wanted it to be. That blows.
I just know I can't say yet that it didn't work for me. I won't know until I can take in the entire picture, just as I can't judge a finished Lego set by the one piece I step on midway through construction. I can see different ways Izzy's death/rebirth could absolutely work, but will the writer manage it? I dunno.
But I'm willing to wait and see if the stupid puppet can pull it off.
#will it be the content or the length that causes the unfollows?#WHO CAN SAY#but every day is Unfollowing Amnesty Day#farewell and be free#our flag means death#our flag means death s2 spoilers#our flag means death seasons 3 rampant speculation#izzy hands#engaging with stories#and curating your own experience#(but for real - I had to stop myself at just the few possibilities I gave for a resurrection)#(real talk if you ask me for more I can just-- come up with more)#(it's my party trick)#(for very certain kinds of very nerdy parties)
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