#I want him as a Jedi knight companion

[izmagicallulu]

“Now I understand why Tarnis was no match for you. His death was my failure. I should've trained him better.”

[crispyjenkins]

mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

[fen-luciel]

The mistakes of a Acolyte

5

Chapters

Summary: You are pregnant with Qimir's child and the universe is not big enough to hide you from him.

The excuse I used for carrying such a large bag was simple: I was a spoiled pregnant woman.

I regretted throwing away all those creams and gifts I had accumulated over the months, but I had used the containers to hide credits and various drives with not-so-legal collections I had gathered over the years. I only took the larger or more comfortable clothes with me, and the lightsaber well hidden at the bottom behind a pile of underwear. I doubted they would dig into the bag, but I couldn’t be too trusting; after all, they were still Jedi. And I was still an ex-criminal in their eyes.

I kept the poncho on to better hide myself underneath, as we were going to a cold, often rainy forest. The excuse of not wanting to reveal the pregnancy to Qimir was also valid; no one would question that.

I wasn’t even surprised that we left that very evening, but not seeing other Jedi made me suspicious. So after having a quick meal together, I casually started a conversation.

“Will others join us directly there? I mean Jedi” the three exchanged glances before Sol cleared his throat.

“We intend to go alone. We believe, based on the information you’ve given us, that it’s best to move in a small, quiet group. We know what we’re facing this time, and we have the element of surprise on our side” I was a bit annoyed by this, mainly because it meant I would have less time to slow them down, but I partly expected it.

“Don’t worry, we’ll always be close to you” Yord nodded decisively, with Jecki beside him smiling at me.

“I trust you” I said, shrugging.

The rest of the dinner passed mostly in silence. They were all tense despite pretending otherwise; occasionally, someone would try to start a conversation, but it would end quickly. There wasn’t much to say, and who could blame them?

Last time, they almost died.

And now they had me to deal with.

The journey wouldn’t last much longer, but I preferred to rest a bit before arriving at our destination. I lay down in one of the bunks in the bedroom, using my bag as an extra pillow out of paranoia to keep it close. I couldn’t rest all day; Qimir’s face kept flashing before my eyes. I thought about everything that could go wrong or how he might trap me. Yes, from his point of view, I was helping him, but it was obvious he didn’t trust me after what I had done.

I had taken extra precautions myself. I managed to contact my droid Sam as soon as it was reactivated through a private channel we kept for emergencies. I ordered it to assist Qimir but remain ready for anything. I didn’t trust telling it everything in case Qimir got his hands on it, but it had always been a loyal little companion. I knew it was on my side no matter what.

I don’t know how long I slept exactly, a hand on my shoulder woke me from slumber.

My first instinct was to reach for the lightsaber under the pillow in a habitual movement, but a moment of clarity was enough to remind me where I was and why.

Yord gave me a half-smile seeing me confused, and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as he helped me sit up against the pillow. ��What a knight” I joked as I stifled a yawn, and he grimaced, quickly looking over his shoulder. The door to the room was open, letting the cold corridor lights into the dark room.

“I wanted to give you this” he handed me a small communication device, and I looked at it confused in my hand. Then, with a raised eyebrow, I said “You already gave me one, don’t you remember?” He got up from the bed before placing his hands behind his back, then leaned against the furniture and again moved uncomfortably, not standing still for a second.

“Yes, but this... is private.” I raised an eyebrow, confused, while moving the blankets from my legs and sitting on the mattress. “What...?”

He cleared his throat. “When this is all over, we’ll take you home. And we’ll leave. And... you’ll be alone, if I understood correctly, at least. Forgive me if I assumed wrong—” a sad smile pulled at my lips “No, you’re right. I don’t have family. Friends... at least trusted ones. A life of crime hardly surrounds you with decent people” I joked at the end while standing up. Yord offered me a hand, but I ignored it.

The conversation was making me more uncomfortable than I wanted to admit. I turned my back on him while quickly slipping the communicator into my bag.

I would have to check later that it didn’t have a tracking device.

“Yes, well... if you need someone to talk to... I’m here. And maybe when I’m free, I can come to visit you” I shot him a confused glance over my shoulder before turning to face him.

Only then did I realize how close we were.

The ship wasn’t made for long journeys, and the bedroom was small and rectangular, the bare minimum for resting between destinations, but nothing more. And with Yord in front of the door, we were practically a few centimeters apart from each other. I could see a slight blush on his cheeks as he struggled to look me in the eyes.

It made me feel a bit tender.

“And what do the Jedi think of something like this?” I whispered with a poorly concealed smile. Yord blushed even more and took a deep breath. “The code doesn’t forbid friendships outside the order, and... maybe... I mean... if you want to chat with someone, I’m here” the difficulty with which he tried to finish the sentence was hilarious, but I avoided pointing it out. After all, he was... cute.

I rarely dealt with someone like that, even before my solitary path. My years as a student were very quiet, if not tense. Sure, the results were excellent by the end of my journey, but I regretted how I indirectly isolated myself, and considering what I did with all those years in the end... I wondered if there was anything in life that satisfied me.

That didn’t disappoint me.

Maybe I was the problem.

Maybe running from Qimir was just another whim.

“True. It’s very kind of you. I promise you won’t get rid of me easily” the lie came out naturally, but the pain in my heart was a surprise even to me.

Maybe I was sending him to his death.

Or at least I was deceiving him, the excuse of protecting my child wasn’t enough. I could have acted differently, but I was selfish and wanted to protect myself above all... and also leave an escape route for Qimir. In a few hours, we would part ways and never see each other again, and he would probably hate me... or something like that. He would realize that I took advantage of him, that I deceived him.

It was better to lie until the end. I didn’t want to be there when he realized the lies when he looked at me disappointed.

Maybe sad.

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek that left him speechless, but with my bag, I passed him by, leaving the room without saying another word. I could feel his gaze burning into my back, but I ignored it.

It was easier that way.

Crossing the small corridor to the central hall, I caught a glimpse of Sol and Jecki at the command posts and approached them lightly. They turned to nod at me, but I remained silent, looking outside, beyond the glass where we could finally see our destination.

We had arrived in the space around the planet Teben. It was a place abandoned by civilization; centuries ago, there was life, not particularly developed considering the kind of ruins Qimir and I found the first time we came here, but there was everything needed to stay hidden in an environment not particularly dangerous, at least not for two like us.

It was a small green planet, forests and swamps covered most of its surface, the climate mostly cold, reaching particularly low temperatures at night.

We had chosen this location more out of my whim; I hated the heat and became particularly irritable as soon as I started sweating, one of the first things Qimir knew about me.

He didn’t really care where we camped, as long as it wasn’t an arid place. I remember well the early days here, we came in search of a temple... which turned out to be quite bare, but the place was great for making a quiet base.

It was also one of the first times we shared a bed, since we didn’t trust being too far apart in an unknown hostile environment, and resources were poor, so it was better to share more layers of blankets than to divide them.

I remembered we were fine, there was no discomfort, master and acolyte, no limits were crossed, we were... friends.

The problem is, I didn’t move during the night, he did.

So when the next morning, I found his arm around my waist, I skipped a beat, I wasn’t supposed to think about it, but... it made me feel good.

I pretended to sleep, and when he woke up, he realized the situation he had put himself in, I felt him prop himself up on an elbow behind me, his arm sliding away not before gently stroking my hip with his thumb.

After that morning, I couldn’t get that memory out of my head. If I concentrated enough, I could still feel that warm caress on my skin.

Maybe that’s how it all started, or maybe it was just the first physical proof of a feeling that had already begun and that I hadn’t seen. That I didn’t want to admit.

We descended into the planet’s atmosphere. I had mapped a safe route away from the main temple. We hadn’t equipped much nearby, the forests were so dense it was impossible to land except in specific, distant locations. Only by exploring the temple could you find a hidden passage leading to a large enough cliff for small or medium ships. Qimir guessed it was created later since it didn’t match the rest.

The nearest landing zones, external or internal, were almost the same distance on foot. Sol asked earlier if we could land directly there, but it was likely full, and we risked blowing up. Sure, we risked Qimir escaping, but landing with a destroyed ship made no sense.

We landed silently where I indicated, opened the door, and descended the ship’s stairs after gearing up. I put my hands in my pockets to trigger the alarm signal to my droid. Qimir was probably watching us, but it was better not to risk it.

Sol, Yord, and Jecki reviewed the plan while I nervously adjusted my poncho, hoping it hid my form. I put on my backpack and adjusted the fabric. Sol gave me a reassuring look before approaching me.

“Relax. I promised he wouldn’t even touch you, and I intend to keep it” I replied with a nervous sigh “I just hope... well, Qimir doesn’t know I’m pregnant. I don’t want to give him another reason to be angry”

He nodded understandingly. “Let’s go.”

I chose a well-worn landing zone, an old path led to the temple. Although roots had cracked the stone and symbols faded, it was better than traversing the dense forest full of insect nests and dangerous animals. I wasn’t sure of my combat skills five months pregnant, and I hadn’t touched a lightsaber since fleeing.

The air was cool, the sky turned purple as the sun set, casting large shadows. We were mostly silent and focused. We planned to trap Qimir in the temple. I would close the doors overlooking the cliff while they blocked the main entrance, confident they could corner him now that they knew his capabilities.

The key was surprising him and luring him away from the automatic doors I would shut. I had instructed Sam to equip my escape ship and make a map copy. The plan was to snatch it from Qimir and ensure he couldn’t track me. Luckily, he wasn’t into droids or gadgets, I usually handled locks and technology while he preferred organic methods like poisons. We had been a perfect team.

Had been.

Several doors blocked the path to the ships, so faking malfunctions or unfamiliar droids causing problems would be easy. As time passed, the Jedi seemed more relaxed around me, possibly not considering me a suspect once I escaped.

What made me nervous was not knowing Qimir’s intentions. He supported my plan, but I no longer had his trust. I saw the repressed anger in his eyes that night, and I still bore the marks on my arms. He was a ticking bomb, but I didn’t know if he’d unleash it on me or the Jedi.

During the confrontation, hiding my pregnancy was less important than staying safe. His reaction could be anger or joy, or worse, he might abandon our ruse and just drag me away. I couldn’t let him get too close.

It was nearly dark when we reached the temple. We hid behind large trees to see if Qimir was nearby. His presence was obvious, he wasn’t hiding. It felt like standing before a sleeping beast’s lair. The dark side rested but swirled around us, unsettling the three of them. But I was unfazed, feeling at home with its presence.

After nightfall, Sol gave a final warning before we moved toward the temple entrance. The large door was half-open. We hadn’t repaired it, focusing instead on the chamber doors.

Inside, most lights were off to avoid attracting small creatures.

Yord gently touched my side, silently asking a question. Unfortunately, we had to pass by the second-floor chambers to reach the passage at the temple’s end. Many areas had collapsed, and uncertain of the structure’s stability, we reinforced dangerous zones with beams, leaving only one safe path.

We’d pass the second-floor doors, including the bedroom, then descend to the first floor to close the first door. Yord would accompany me to ensure I reached safely and Qimir wouldn’t notice us. He might leap from the second floor, but it was too much risky, leaving him without supplies or a ship.

The plan wasn’t bad, given the few Jedi available. Too bad they didn’t know the surprise factor never existed.

I signaled Yord to climb the rusty stairs, with Sol and Jecki hiding in the main hall, ready to intervene if we were caught or if I triggered the doors and alarmed the Sith.

We walked silently, Yord a step behind, watching my back. The stone corridors were dimly lit by warm, faint lamps. I silently indicated the bedroom door to Yord, placing a finger on my lips. The dark side’s presence intensified, I knew Qimir was there, likely waiting for us.

Then I saw it.

At the corridor’s end, my small droid Sam patrolled, seemingly lost in thought. I froze, and Yord noticed the unexpected guest.

“This is new” I whispered to Yord, who prepared to move. I reached for my stun gun, ready to miss on purpose, but it wasn’t necessary.

Sam turned towards us, his usual blue eye turning red, and an alarm blared. Yord grabbed my poncho and pushed me down the corridor.

“Run!” he shouted, abandoning stealth.

I dashed past the bedroom door, firing stun shots at Sam, pretending to miss in panic. Sam dodged easily, disappearing around the corner. I heard Yord’s footsteps behind me, the alarm echoing, then an explosion.

Just as Yord passed the bedroom door, it burst open, and Qimir attacked, wearing a helmet. Yord barely drew his lightsaber before being slammed into the stone wall and parrying a powerful red lightsaber.

The plan was in motion.

[mamawasatesttube]

stopped writing the horrors (halloweenfic) for a little bit to bang out some silly lil halloween party fluff :) and now back to the The Horrors mines i go!

Music drifts through the house, a rotation of classic Halloween tunes. Bart and Cissie are dancing in the middle of the living room, while Cassie does an enthusiastic shimmy nearby; Anita’s in the kitchen baking some pumpkin pie with Greta, and Kon?

Kon is on tipsy-and-sleepy-Rob-watching duty. Tim, dressed as a vampire (real creative, for the guy who works with Batman, right?) is lying curled up against his side, head on his thigh, and idly drumming his fingers to the beat of Thriller.

It’s nice. Just a chill li’l house party with his besties. Kon is dressed as Cal Kestis (you know, the Jedi Knight, survivor of Order 66, with the cutest droid companion ever), though it’s warm enough that he’s ditched his poncho. Tim’s currently using it as a pillow. He insists he’s wide awake, but he’s had two cups of Cissie’s spiked punch, and everyone knows a tipsy Rob is a “liable to doze off any second now” Rob.

As if he senses Kon thinking so and just has to spite him, Tim suddenly sits bolt upright. “Kon,” he says. “If you were a monster”—he cups Kon’s cheeks in his hands and stares intently into his eyes—“I would mash you.”

“Um,” Kon says. “Thank you?”

Tim nods seriously, as if that makes any sense whatsoever, and then just as abruptly flops himself back down across the sofa. He nearly cracks his head open on Kon’s knee; Kon has to catch him and more gently adjust him to lay across his lap.

“You’re very… smashable,” Tim adds, like an afterthought. He’s wearing makeup tonight, glittering along his cheekbones in the low light. “Though you’re not a monster. At all.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Kon says wryly. Tim may have had more than two cups of punch, actually. Either that, or he didn’t eat before coming here. “You want any water?”

Tim goes a curious shade of red, blushing all the way to his ears. He sits up again, hugging one knee to his chest, and hides behind his hair. “Are you—are you calling me thirsty?” He sounds scandalized. “I’m not! I’m just saying. You’d make the mashiest monster ever.”

Oh, brother.

Trying not to laugh, Kon gets up from the sofa and holds out his hands. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re hydrated, doofus. C’mere, let’s go to the kitchen.”

Tim takes his hands, stands up, and then goes so perfectly still that Kon immediately knows the room is spinning under his feet. “I’m not drunk,” he says, and then flops forward into Kon’s chest with a hum. “You smell good.”

Wrangling a tipsy-to-drunk Tim is kind of like what Kon imagines handling a post-surgery ferret might be like. He’s so… noodley. And clingy. And smiley. It’s kinda cute, not that Kon would tell him so to his face anytime soon. The guy’s already got a big enough ego.

“Okay, not-drunk Robbie.” Kon pats his back, grinning. Cassie catches his eye over Tim’s shoulder and laughs outright. “Let’s put one foot in front of the other and go get you some—I mean, I want some water.”

“Oh!” Tim lifts his head. “You want water? You should’ve just said so.” Tim pats Kon’s shoulder with a remarkable amount of unintentional condescension for a drunk guy. Kon has to admit, begrudgingly, that it’s kinda impressive. “C’mon. Kitchen time.”

Kon knows how to pick his battles. “Lead the way,” he says, and lets Tim think he’s in charge as he guides them both to the kitchen.

He gets a glass of water into Tim’s hand and then picks him up and sets him on the counter, where he swings his feet and starts babbling. It’s swell right up until he starts trying to drunkenly backseat drive Anita’s piemaking (“Kon, tell him I’m not putting an engine diagram on my damn Halloween pie.”), at which point Kon groans, picks him up again, and carts him back to the living room.

“You,” Kon tells him, plopping back down onto the sofa, “are a menace.” He boops the tip of Tim’s nose.

Tim wrinkles his nose, then wriggles himself into Kon’s side and tugs his arm around himself. He’s so busy getting himself settled into Kon’s arm just right that he doesn’t even notice he’s using both hands to arrange Kon’s arm, which means Kon’s TTK is the only reason he doesn’t spill apple cider all over himself, Cissie’s couch, and the floor.

“But I’m your menace,” Tim informs him, once he’s satisfied with their positioning. He’s got both of his legs tossed across Kon’s lap now, and Kon’s poncho haphazardly draped over his shoulders like a weird jacket (instead of, like, putting it on like a poncho, which it is). “So there.”

Kon’s heart does something very mushy and flip-floppy in his chest, and he just sighs, squeezing Tim closer. “Yeah, bud, you got me there,” he agrees, and pretends he’s not incredibly charmed by the smug look on Tim’s face. “You got me there.”

[jellyfishsthings]

Warnings: this is going to be a multi part series and it's going to be angsty cause I am in my feels. Female reader, Padmé and Anakin were together but had a healthy break up, Jedi reader so forbidden love

This story takes plays in Clone Wars yet many events have been changed (like the meeting of Ashoka and Anakin... don't worry the sibling energy is still there.)

series masterlist

The blaring sound of sirens ringing fills the streets as they echo through the empty, now town. The Clone Wars continue to rage. Next to me stands a familiar body, hardened by the years of training and fighting. My sole companion, my partner in crime. Anakin. His hair is growing at a faster pace, as they are left unattended because of the war. His eyes, which used to be a vibrant combination of blue and green seem haunted now, matching his serious expression.

This merciless fighter, this General has taken the place of the once sweet boy that kept me company in the first lonely nights in the Temple, of the boy that taught himself to braid hair when I had broken my arm. He has changed. Both of us have changed, we are not the kids we used to be. We are fearless and respected Jedi Knights. And yet… and yet we both crave peace and what we used to be.

Days blur together and they go by in the same patterns. Either waking up early and training until dawn, attending meetings for strategic plans or peace negotiations or fighting on the battlefield until your last breath. And finally, there is a slimmer of hope…

Today we are invited to a meeting organized by Senator Amidala, Padmé, my dear friend, Anakin's not-so-secret ex but despite everything the three of us are closer than ever. The break up was mandatory according to both of them. Anakin was needed on the battlefield and Padmé represented the non-fighting population, thank the Stars they are still friends and you can tell they loved each other with their whole hearts. They still do but they are not going back, not regretting their decisions for a second, left to remember the loving memories of their short time together.

For the first time in years, I wear a dress, borrowed from Padmé, so as to blend in with the crowd even if my lightsabers stand prominent in my belt loops. The dress hugs tightly the top of my body and flows on the way down. It starts as plain creme yellow that slowly descends to a light pink. The soft silk dip starts at the base of my back, leaving my battle scars vulnerable and uncovered for everyone. Every here and there embodied flowers stand out. Even its off shoulders design thankfully allows me freedom of movement.

The meeting starts in a few minutes and yet Anakin is not here. My eyes quickly scan the hallways even when they appear like a maze. I trust my senses to the Force trying to track him. He is close. I wander through the halls trying to locate him, when I notice a trail of blood. Bloody Skywalker.

"What have you done?" I whisper-yell at him.

"Don't worry it's not mine?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

He just shrugged in response. I quickly grab his outer clothing, pulling it harshly from his body.

"If you want me naked you can just say so." He has the nerve to say. I simply roll my eyes as I hurry towards a window and hurl his clothes outside. "Nice going, trouble. How am I supposed to find them after the meeting? And I think wearing clothes that are slightly damaged is better than showing up to a meeting shirtless." He says while chuckling at my antics, as I try to maintain my calm composure.

"That sounds like a 'you' problem" I fire back at him.

"What are you two yapping about?" A third voice sounds and we both flinch. Padmé leans on the wall with crossed arms while wearing a knowing smirk.

"This isn't funny, your castle is covered in blood."

"Ah, liar. You exaggerate, it's not the whole castle, only a few corridors." I sharply glare at him as he chuckles.

"Figured. Now follow me, because I do not think everyone will like the sight of your abs, Ani."

"I am offended, Padmé, I think that they are quite splendid." A long-suffering sigh leaves my lips as we enter the master suite and hurrle myself to the plush bed as the two of them try to find something to cover the mess that is called Anakin Skywalker.

"Get up, you will ruin your hair." Padmé says. My muffled voice answers her. "I don't care about my hair."

My consciousness starts to slip away as I feel a gentle hand rock me back and forth.

"Five more minutes" I whine.

"If I leave you here for five more minutes, there is no way you will attend this meeting."

With a huff, I pull myself up and dust my dress in an attempt to make myself presentable. And we head towards the ballroom.

"We should mingle." He whispers to me and I simply nod as an answer. "See you in three hours." He says as he tucks a stray hair in its place before he leaves my side once again. I turn to look at his departing figure as I stay rooted to my place. My cheeks start to heat up as I notice his attire for the first time. His shirt is a soft creme yellow that compliments his slightly tanned skin and his blond hair. His shirt matches my dress and there is only one person behind this.

I walk as fast as I can in a place like this towards her. Once I reach her I grab her arm and pull her to the side of the crowd.

"You did this on purpose."

"Did what?" Padmé acts innocent but her proud smirk betrays her intentions.

"Why?"

"You look cute."

"We look like we are together."

"Aren't you?"

"No, it is the Code."

"But you want to." Her words shock me to the core. Yes, I do want to, but I can't.

"How did you…?"

"It's obvious, sweets. He hasn't taken his eyes off of you. He always talks about you. Even when we were together… I always knew that you two… you are like fossils created by the same star. Despite everything you are made for each other. Code be damned."

"Quiet you. It is forbidden, don't make it harder than it already is." With that, I leave her. I took a steadying breath before…

"Hi. I am Jedi Master ...."

words: 1.033

[knightotoc]

Best Star Wars scenes of the '20s so far:

(I was going to include the Baby Yoda and Trilla reveals but those were both in 2019!)

5. Yord's Indirect Mind Trick

In the first episode of Acolyte, arrogant Jedi Yord Fandar raises his hand to threaten a Neimoidian with a mind trick. The alien's companion quickly gives Yord the information he wants before he can cast the spell.

This is my favorite scene in Acolyte, as it shows the sinister side of a mighty Jedi Order, where the threat of magic is just as powerful as magic itself. It reminds me of the social dynamics in some Arthurian literature, and I always appreciate when SFF shows what ordinary people think of our powerful "heroes." Acolyte pulls its biggest Jedi-critical punches, but this one lands.

4. Leia Asks Obi-Wan about the Force

"How does it work, the Force? What does it feel like?"

"Have you ever been afraid of the dark? How does it feel when you turn on the light?"

"I feel safe."

"Yes, it feels like that."

An unexpectedly tear-jerking moment in an occasionally frustrating show, this scene accomplishes a bunch of great stuff. First, it centers the by-far most neglected central character of Star Wars, Leia, and her too-often offscreen journey with her own powers. Second, it shows a more vulnerable side to Obi-Wan: through didactic empathy with a child's fear of the dark, he tells us that he, too, is afraid of all the awful shit that happens to him. His coolness is a front, and his bravery is real. Third, it adds an emotional layer to the Light Side's role in the universe; Yoda's "luminous beings" metaphor is just as beautiful, but much more cold.

3. Tsubaki's Prophecy

In the final episode of the first season of Visions, jaded old Jedi Knight Tsubaki is haunted by a nightmare of death, which comes to pass by his own ironic hand. It reminds me strongly of Anakin's vision in the second half of Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars from 2003, but without the kinda offensive "primitive natives" vibe.

Visions is an awesome format for including more artistic and unusual creators in Star Wars, like the similarly-named and just as wacky Visionaries comic book from 2005. It's great to be able to make these comparisons to the 00s, the best era of Star Wars.

I especially appreciate when these odd short stories get to be tragic. Singular voices that acknowledge sadness and darkness feel even more daring now under Disney than they did under George Lucas, who after all seems like quite a pessimist himself.

2. Crosshair's One-Handed Shot

I've already written a long post about this moment in the Bad Batch finale; the tl;dr is that, for once, Star Wars actually acknowledges the consequences of amputation. Crosshair, a sniper who has none of the magic powers or institutional support of other Star Wars amputees, has to take a high-stakes shot at his own baby sister's handcuffs before the attached villain drags her into a chasm. It's incredibly exciting and feels earned and genuinely empowering. Star Wars is one of the worst culprits of the fantasy robot prosthetic trope, which I've really begun to despise, and this scene moves away from that in the most satisfying way.

1. "I can't swim."

Andor #1 of course!!!!!!!!!

[felassan]

Article with some information on topics like early BioWare games, the early BioWare romance model, early LGBTQ+ representation, the origins of Dragon Age as a world etc.

Excerpts:

"BioWare’s first gay character was Juhani, a feline Jedi with a romance storyline which Gaider neither suggested nor wrote. “It couldn’t be explicit, because LucasArts wouldn’t allow that,” he says. “So she couldn’t say ‘I love you’. It just had to be very gal pal. ‘These gal pals are really close!’ It had to be hidden.” Gaider isn’t sure whether LucasArts were ever asked about the romance, or whether BioWare obfuscated it for fear of being overruled. “LucasArts certainly shut down anything they thought was over-the-top sexual innuendo,” he says. “But they looked at everything on a line-by-line basis, so if there was no single line that made it explicit, it went unnoticed.” BioWare’s first openly expressed same-sex romance came in Jade Empire, and Gaider was bowled over. “When I heard that the other team had done this, I was like, ‘This is something we can do in a video game? Holy crap.’ “It’s hard, especially for the younger audience today, to think of what it was like back then in the early 00s,” he adds. “Even when we started Dragon: Age Origins, on many levels, there was a lot of trepidation. I had a character I wanted to make gay - Zevran, the assassin. And they were still going, ‘Oh, well, you know that’s a really small part of the audience, so if we’re going to do that much content for it let’s make him bisexual at least’. So he can do double duty.”"

[...]

"In other words, Baldur’s Gate II was where the highly influential Bioware model was first nailed down. “James Ohlen came up with this idea of romances as something cool to try as a lark, not even thinking that they would be noticed much,” Gaider says. “I was just happy to be along for the ride. We had four romances and I did three of them, and that was really just Lukas Kristjanson and I sitting down, figuring out time-based conversation triggers so that your relationship grows.”"

[...]

"Dragon Age took off, and Gaider became the primary custodian of its world - leading the writing of all three released games in the series to date, as well as a stackful of novels and comics. “I felt like I’d gotten all the sword and sorcery stories out of me that I wanted to tell,” he says. Afterwards, he moved onto the early development of Anthem. “But that project was not going anywhere good,” he says. “I already could see the writing on the wall: ‘This is not gonna work out and I don’t belong on this team, but I left Dragon Age so there’s nowhere else for me to go.’” The solution was to depart BioWare, Gaider’s home for 17 years."

[source and full article]

[knamil]

Spoilers for the Jedi Knight story.

Filter if you don't want to see this ever again: #knamil stasis comic

This story takes place not long after the main Jedi Knight story ends. This is an AU Comic because nothing that was released after initial story launch (Makeb onward and esp not KOTFE KOTET are considered "true" for this universe.)

Notes and captions below the cut.

I wrote the story for this in 2014 and I'm using it as a basis to follow along with an art class I'm auditing. It's inspired by companion content that was originally cut from the game, but was datamined and posted online. If you've never seen it, there was supposed to be a quest where you can help Lord Scourge get his feelings back.

I don't know how to write captions for a comic so I'm including the script as a caption.

If there is a standard way to caption comics for screen readers, msg me and I will do my best.

Conventions used

IM: stands for Internal Monologue. Scourge’s internal monologue appears in black boxes with red text and red outline.

Speech bubbles are rounded white bubbles with black text and black outline.

Setting descriptions/general captions are blue boxes with black outline and black text.

The script labels each image as a page. Each panel will have a short description of the picture then the dialog within the panel.

Begin script

Page 1 Scourge kneeling in a cell meditating. Red forcefields surround him. Title: Stasis Part I (by knamil)

Page 2 Caption: Coruscant Holding Cells - 86 Days After the Emperor’s Defeat (A.E.D.)

Panel 1 Scourge is kneeling in his cell meditating. The frame shows a partial profile of his face. One of his eyes are open. A figure is shown walking toward him. Behind the figure are closed doors.

SCOURGE IM: The Medic. Interesting.

Panel 2 A head portrait of Doc

Caption: Archiban “Doc” Kimble

DOC Hey Scourge. How’s it going?

Panel 3 Scourge is kneeling in his cell looking at the floor. He says nothing. Doc stands in front of the cell facing Scourge

DOC Just seein’ if you need anything. Maybe you want to chat? Have a little heart to heart. You know?

Panel 4 Scourge looks up.

Panel 5 Doc is looking down at Scourge. The back wall of the holding facility can be seen behind him.

Panel 6 Closer focus on Scourge.

SCOURGE Tell me, Doctor… has the Jedi stopped screaming yet?

Page 3 Panel 1 Doc looks angry

Panel 2 Doc looks sad

Panel 3 Doc looks resigned

DOC I don’t know.

Panel 4 The Jedi is on a surgery table. Machinery and tubes cover her abdomen. A breathing mask covers her mouth. Her eyes are squeezed shut in an expression of pain.

DOC They kicked me out two days ago. Her wounds won’t close. The bleeding won’t stop.

They’re rerouting half her organs with cybernetics just to keep her alive.

Panel 5 Doc leans over to sit on the floor.

DOC I heard they put you in here because you wouldn’t talk when you brought her in.

I don’t understand why you won’t tell us what’s happening to her.

Panel 6 Scourge still kneels in his cell.

SCOURGE Because there is nothing in your limited understanding of the Force and its potential that can help her.

Panel 7 Doc is sitting on the floor on the other side of the force field facing Scourge.

DOC Can you?

SCOURGE No.

Panel 8 Close up view of Scourge. He looks down.

SCOURGE The ritual may not be undone.

IM: It would mean the end of everything.

End Script

[triscribeaucollection]

History Reversed

Yet another Time Travel AU. I ought to be famous for ‘em by now, right?

---

Wolffe kept a hand close to his blaster.

He didn’t know what was going on, who the Togruta hugging his general really was, because like kriff could that actually be Tano. A couple of discrete hand signals to the troopers behind him got them to separate, spread out, just in case the need arose for stun shots. After a moment’s hesitation, he also pressed a button on his wrist comm to summon a medical squad.

The Togruta looked pretty singed, after all. And they’d scanned further lifeforms aboard the damaged ship, too. Potential mindtrick plot or not, it wouldn’t hurt to have some stretchers nearby, just in case.

And speaking of other lifeforms...

A male Human cautiously scooted down the ramp next, maybe thirty, thirty-five standard. He looked a little better dressed than the Togruta, but with even more mud caked up to his knees, and a much more wary expression on his scarred face. Wolffe could see a holster hanging from his belt - two compartments, one holding a blaster, the other a lightsaber.

“Ahsoka?” The man asked. Wolffe’s fingers twitched.

The Togruta pulled back from his general, smiling through her tears. “Ezra. This- this is Jedi Master Plo Koon. He found me, when I was little. Brought me to the Jedi Temple.”

“Wait- Wolffe’s Plo Koon?” Even as he asked, the man looked up and around, scanning the clone troopers until his gaze landed on- “Commander Wolffe?”

And the fun times just kept on rolling. Reluctant in the extreme, Wolffe reached up to tug his bucket off, and came a few steps closer. From the better angle, he could make out more of the Togruta’s facial markings, and- they did look like Tano’s. Just. Bigger. Stretched, a bit, like when a clone cadet snuck a tattoo onto their skin, only for it to distort when they kept growing and packing on more muscle. Wolffe eyed her, and then eyed the Human, arching a single brow.

The second stranger made a stunned noise. “Holy kriff, that is Wolffe.”

“Wait until you see Rex,” his companion laughed, and-

Well.

Jedi did get into all sorts of bantha-shit with the Force. He’d heard more than enough stories from brothers serving with generals far less careful than his own. Maybe, maybe, Wolffe could believe this was, somehow, an older Ahsoka Tano.

She introduced her friend as Ezra Bridger, Jedi Knight, and then the three kids who tumbled down next as Jacen, Alora, and Pypey, Padawan Learners. And after them- “This is Luke, and his daughter Jaina. She needs serious medical attention.”

A Master and Initiate. A Master, who looked haggard, and exhausted, moving slowly as if the whole galaxy had just come crashing down onto his shoulders, and the only thing keeping him moving at all was the child cradled against his chest. A child, practically a baby Jedi, who bore the wounds of a battlefield and was missing most of an entire limb. Wolffe nearly growled at the sight, double tapping the button on his comm to get the medical team to hurry the hell up.

To their credit, his men spilled into the hangar not thirty seconds later, moving at a brisk jog and not hesitating to come straight up to the group of unknown Jedi. The Ithorian kid and older Human girl were situated on one stretcher, pressed together as their blaster wounds with hastily-affixed bacta patches were looked over. Little Jaina was placed more carefully on the other, the Wolfpack’s CMO muttering furiously to himself as he checked over her worst injury.

Wolffe knew damn well what lightsaber damage looked like.

To his credit, the girl’s father managed to hold himself together after setting her down, and stayed standing through the initial examination. But the very instant the medical team wheeled his daughter and the other kids out, Ezra going with them, Luke dropped to his knees without so much as a flicker of warning.

He didn’t make a sound. Sure looked like he wanted to, though, judging by the painful mix of grief and despair on his face. Ahsoka folded herself down beside him, wrapping an arm around the man’s shoulders, and Wolffe’s general wound up kneeling as well.

“She-” Luke’s jaw spasmed trying to get the words out. “She ran- ran to Ben. Before I- I couldn’t-” A broken sob clawed its way out, and he lifted a hand to press to his face. A prosthetic hand, Wolffe noted with a flinch of surprise. No cover or synth-skin molding, just bare metal.

“Who is Ben?” General Plo asked softly.

“Luke’s padawan,” Ahsoka answered, at the same time Luke himself said, “My nephew.”

Karking hells. That didn’t sound like the start of a fun story.

[queen-scribbles]

Breather

My SWtOR Secret Santa gift for @ishallobservethis! I had to do something with Felin soon as I saw she had a "tripped and fell in love by accident" arc with Koth. I love the Smuggler, I love accidentally falling in love pairings, and Koth always need more love. So I wrote them a little scene between chapters 7 & 8 of KotFE.

---

Despite her best efforts in the moment, Felin had never been all that good at subtlety. So it wasn't really a surprise when Koth caught one too many of her 'surreptitious' glances in his direction.

It was enough to prompt him to look up from his half-disassembled rifle, arching a brow at her. "Need something , Outlander?"

"No, um, I just... the stuff with the Heralds was... a lot." Felin set down the tools she'd been using to repair her own blaster. "Wanted to be sure everyone's okay after that, you know?"

"And I'm first on your list?" A wink. "I'm flattered. And fine. The rifle took damage, not me." He shrugged. "Not the first time I've been in a fight like that, anyhow."

Former military. Right. On the run for deserting because he had a conscience. He was used to danger, used to Zakuul and Asylum and didn't need her fretting over him. But I want to.

She didn't want to dwell on why that was. She cared about all her comrades in arms, that's why.

"Good," she said, clearing her throat. She picked up the tools and went back to work. There was just a little carbon scoring to clear away, but better to have it in working order now, under the circumstances. "I gotta ask, Koth," she started after a few minutes' companionable silence working side by side, "especially after that mess, what exactly did Lana tell you that had you all gung-ho to bust me out?"

"Bunch of stuff," Koth laughed, turning back to reassembling his rifle. "Findin' the lost riches of a crime lord, taking down some bigshot admiral--not to mention a near-mythic Sith. Or was he a Jedi?" He shrugged, brow furrowed as he slotted the casing back together. "Point is, she spun you up as this dashing hero who thrives on long odds."

Felin chuckled. "Somethin' like that. And what, your curiosity got the best of you?"

"Somethin' like that," Koth said, shooting her a grin. "Gonna take someone experienced with long odds and pulling down powerful Force users to deal with Arcann and Vaylin. Wanted to see if you were the real deal. She didn't mention you have a great smile, though."

She smirked down at the blaster. They'd traded flirty banter a couple times in the swamps; if he wanted to go again she was happy to play. "Can't imagine how that slipped her mind, it's one of my best features."

"Guess she was distracted by the skytroopers and Knights and wildlife chasing us," he deadpanned.

"I do bring a flare of adventure to the lives of most people I meet," Felin joked, biting back the odd little squirm that didn't want to see him hurt in the course of this adventure.

"Only most?" Koth asked, half-joking, as he secured the last pieces back in place.

"Some are too boring to be helped," she said with exaggerated drama, biting the tip of her tongue. as she finished and holstered her blaster. "Not you, though," she winked.

"Well, that's a relief," Koth said with a laugh. "Think I'd be a little intimidated if you found my life experience boring."

"You mean running from a galaxy spanning empire with a price on your head isn't normal for you, Vortena?" Felin said with faux-shock.

"Right now it is."

"Touché."

The hum of the engines shifted, rocking the shuttle just a little. The computer beeped, and Koth wiped his hands on his jacket as he leaned over to check it.

"We're dropping out of hyperspace," he reported. "Almost there. I should check on the Gravestone repairs when we land. If we're gonna use it to save the galaxy."

"Yeah, be bad for that hope--and the engines--to go up in flames when you try to take off," Felin said dryly. "Would hate for our dashing heroics to end before I have a chance to really see what y- the ship can do."

Koth chuckled, sent her a smirk. "Have a little faith, Outlander. Let me show off her moves." His expression sobered as a view of Asylum flashed outside the shuttle. "Be careful down there, huh?"

She nodded as they headed to strap in for landing. "Do my best."

The flicker of relief in his eyes made her heart skip a beat. Or two. Maybe she wasn't the only one worried.

Maybe she liked that thought a bit more than she should.

[makode-name]

What is Palladi's backstory 👀 been wanting to know for months

Well, he's a victim of someone really wanting revenge :D

What if I told you Palladi never was meant to be in a Jedi Order in a first place!

I was heavily relying on JK and SW storyline while creating him, but that meant that I have to mess up SWTOR timeline, because Palladi needed some space to be born and grow up a little. And I was, you know, kinda alright with that.

UNTIL now, when it raises more questions than answers

So, Sith Warrior campaign helped to create a sort of legacy villain, that I haven't introduced yet, for some reason (maybe cause I totally forgot about him xDD). Hence let's pretend it's the same, or maybe not the same Jedi-Knight and Emperor's Wrath.

Palladi's father willingly outcasted out (hehe) of Order because he felt like he failed in let's say something related to Emperor's Wrath, but most realisticly simply because he wanted a happy ever after life with my smuggler, as mri'tan and mri'te, husband and wife, officially. So they found a nice cozy place to lay low and he promised himself, that if their child(ren) will be force sensitive, he will train them himself, sharing all the knowledge he absorbed over the years and shaping them as a person of their own creed.

Years gone, the baby was born, turned out force sensitive, things were more than alright.

And here where the backfire happens. Emperor's Wrath tracks them down as if there was no better moment, seeking revenge. Long story short, spooky sith pureblood kills Palladi's father by decapitation leaving poor little fella scarred with PTSD and annoying father ghost. Jokes aside, the reason Wrath didn't kill Palladi is to leave him alone with this memory, the image of an enormous sith lord, standing and looking at him with it's deep-red lightsaber ignited and those mad glowing eyes, all the feelings and emotions attached so Palladi will be growing up with his own revenge somewhere deep in his heart and when the time comes Wrath will reappear and drag him more into the dark side. My guy just prepped the soil.

So, little Palladi being around 5-6 years old is rescued by an old family friend (maybe T7, maybe Bowdaar, bc they're the only companions who can live that long) and is given to Satele (oh no cringe) because she served alongside his father and was a good friend to him as well (and probably cause I like the idea of pallade growing together with theron) and that's how he gets into the Jedi Order.

I hope you didn't die by the end 😭

*inhales*

in the Jedi Order, at the beginning, Palladi didn't really want to participate in whatever was going on there. He was quite isolated, often missing trainings to spend more time within books because he wanted to learn more about his father.

somewhere deep he's still a scared little boy, waiting for his papa to return 🥺

thank you for your question 💜✨💚 I hope waiting for this didn't disappoint you xdd

[queer-starwars-bracket]

Queer Star Wars Characters: FINAL

Juhani | Identity: lesbian | Media: Knights of the Old Republic

Juhani from 2003’s Knights of the Old Republic was the first ever queer character in Star Wars. The Mandalorian Wars rendered Juhani’s family refugees on Taris after the destruction of their homeplanet of Cathar. Juhani was enslaved due to her mother’s debts, but was liberated by the Revanchists when they freed Taris from Mandalorian rule. This inspired her to travel to Dantooine to train as a Jedi, where she fell in love with her fellow padawan Belaya. For her final trial, she was tricked into believing she killed her master when consumed by the Dark Side. She fled into the wilds of Dantooine, her turmoil agitating the wildlife. Dealing with Juhani is the player’s final trial as a Jedi, and they can either kill Juhani or handle the situation diplomatically and return her to the light. She then joins the player as a companion.

Traveling together, Juhani grows close to Revan and can be romanced by female Revans (the game shipped with the gender flag for romance bugged, but she is intended to be a lesbian). She takes the player turning out to be Revan very well, as she never truly accepted that Revan turned to the Dark Side due to how the Revanchists saved her. If the Dark Side ending is chosen, the player must kill Juhani.

Juhani strives to be a good Jedi, strongly believing in their principles. However, she struggles with the in-born aggression and heightened anger of her species, which with her perfectionism creates a vicious cycle that drives her towards the Dark Side. Other than Revan, she kept herself separate from the rest of the crew of the Ebon Hawk, especially Canderous Ordo due to the Mandalorian’s genocide of her people. She was also full of bitterness regarding the racism she faced on Taris, and struggled not to lash out against all humans because of it. 

Chelli Lona Aphra | Identity: lesbian | Media: Star Wars Comics

Oh Aphra, where to begin. Honestly the best way I can describe her is that she’s Star Wars’ Vriska. She’s a “rogue archeologist” and in marketing material sometimes compared to Indiana Jones, but the only similarity is that she can feature in the same wacky stories about retrieving artifacts except with none of the mismatch between modern ideas about archeology and repatriation and Indy being the hero, because she specifically isn’t. She was originally created for the 2015 Darth Vader comic series, recruited to help Vader raise a force that would let him coup the Emperor. She was so popular she then got her own comic series, making her the breakout star of the Disney/Marvel Star Wars comics. The Fandom Menace can’t touch her.

Her comics have been a series of frankly strange adventures involving Force artifacts, Vader either working with her or wanting her dead, and double crosses that leave your head spinning. She has Thrawn level tactical abilities, but only for schemes. She is haunted by how her trauma born behaviors make it hard for her to maintain relationships and be a good person. She has so many exes it's an entire section of this tournament. Her most significant relationships have been with Sana Starros and Magna Tolvan. As of the end of the Spark Eternal arc, the comic seems to be leaning towards a poly ending with the three of them, but first Aphra needs to stop self sabotaging.

One of Aphra’s greatest achievements was at the end of her 2016 comic run, where she trapped Vader in a PTSD flashback Force artifact on Tython and hacked his suit to allow her to erase Hoth from the Empire’s records. She did this for the sake of her loved ones who had joined the Alliance. Doing this gave Echo Base enough time to build up before they were found again that they were able to evacuate much more efficiently. That’s right, disaster lesbian love saved the Rebellion.

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group G, Round 1, Poll 6:

Propaganda under the cut

Kreia/Darth Traya

Kreia throughout the entire game manipulates you and the entire cast into serving her goals, doing things like lying about her identity, turning the party against each other, killing her allies to further her goals, and slowly but surely gaining a position of trust just to make her betrayal hurt all the more.

1) Kreia was Revan's first and last teacher of Revan (who had many other teachers inbetween that) which certainly helped them to develop critical thinking and see jedi order as too conservativee and inflexible, setting their fate as the Revanchist and later a Sith lord in motion. 2) She were mindfucking Darth Sion with verbal abuse for who knows how long, making him believe that he is a failure. Sion even later falls for fem!PC because while she could penetrate his soul and mind just like Kreia, "You and her are alike, yet different in all the ways that matter, and I hate you as I hate her. I hate you because you crawl within my head as she does. But your presence holds no thoughts, no teachings. You are just… there, unspoken. I hate you because you are beautiful to me, and in that weakness lies death." 3) She also can and would read minds of your companions while you are not around, find their weaknesses and use it agains them to ensure they will stay and help in your adventure or just plainly to make them feel miserable. She will also judge your actions almost everytime you make a decision. Leaving her on a ship out of your party WON"T HELP as she will use your Force bond as phone and keep disapproving of you. 4) You want to give a beggar some money? "Why would you do such a thing? Now he won't laern his lesson and keep count on others, you rob him of a opportunity to grow. Also we are in a space ghetto, he'll be killed for that money faster than he can cross the road". You refused to give the poor man some money? "Why did you do such a thing? Cruelty leads to suffering, and when one suffers, it's the way of life to spread suffering. Look, he just killed and robbed a man who offered him help and kindness". 5) While she don't like force-sensitives, she dislikes droids and aliens too, because she can't properly get into their heads and manipulate them as easily. She also is much frendlier (by her standards) to your companions until they became your apprentices. And hypocritically, while she hates Force, she uses it to see. She could've heal her eyes with it and use them, but she doesn't want to. 6) Kreia is one of the main sources of exposition, so she gaslights not only a pc, but YOU! Is she actually Arren Kae, who is Revan's master and Handmaiden's mom? What actually happened with Revan so they decided to attack Republic? Is she actually want to rid Galaxy of Force's will or just seeks revenge for a numerous betrayals? She stealthily fill you with many controversal thoughts during the course of the game and you really need to stop and rethink everything through a prism "Is there enough evidences of this point or sis I learn it from Kreia?" 7) If she is actually Arren Kae then she girlbossed hard by going into the Mandalorian Wars after Revan and fought together with her lover Yusanis, with whom she will have Handmaiden. But even as her Kreia persona she could defeat Darth Sion even after he cut her hand off, and reclaimed her mantle as Lord of Betrayal and head of Trayus Academy. Also she threatens to kill herself if you won't come to her, which kills your PC too due the strong Force bond between you. Despite dying at the end she feels she didn't lose anything: should she won, she would destroy the Force itself (which kills almost all life in a galaxy as collateral damage, but ultimately freeds it from being Force's puppets), but if she loses than she grew a fine replacement for herself, you, who will carry her lessons within yourself.

Sue Sylvester

an ICON! She is a successful cheer coach, local media star, a Madonna stan (girlboss), she is trying to get the glee club shut down because she hates schuester (based) and to secure funding for the Cheerios(gatekeep), and the "I am going to make an environment that is so toxic" quote on its own deserves to win. In short, she is the shadiest, funniest, most mean spirited character while also being one of the most well written and I think that she deserves a win.

[anchanted-one]

SWTOR Ask Meme: Vajra Devarath (Jedi Knight)

What is their alignment? Light Side. About 70%.

Empire or Republic? Republic.

Do they fit in with their faction or were they sort of born into it? He was on a newly discovered world, but entered the Republic at a young age.

What is their homeworld? It's called Raudraksha. It's an original planet, and his species Raudra is also an original.

What planet do they now call home? Either where their stronghold is or where you headcanon they live at. Early Childhood: Raudraksha Between 4-14 years: Uphrades Chapter 1-3: Tython Between Chapter 3 and Rakata Prime: the Jedi Knight ship, which he called the Garuda.

What race are they? Raudra. Like I said, and original. Four arms and a third eye in the middle of their forehead. They have a weak connection to the Force which gets amplified if they choose the Dark. But generations of religious teachings have kept them on the Light.

Are they loyal to their faction?  Yes.

How do they feel about the opposite faction? He wants peace with the Empire. He wants peace with the Sith, too. And he does find many Sith to his liking, chief among them Lana Beniko and Kairegane Rooks (Sith Warrior) He does not favor total victory.

How do they feel about the Force and the Orders that use it? He loves it, but appreciates the many dangerous and unnatural abilities it grants its users.

What is their specialization class? Was there a reason they picked that discipline? In-game, he's a Guardian primarily, one that favors mobility. His secondary class is a Sentinel, though the story version would wield four Lightsabers instead of two. He fell in love with the songs Lightsaber crystals sing, and realized early his path was through them, and Lightsabers. He often uses his Lightsabers to commune with the Force.

Do they have a favorite color crystal they like to use? What color? He uses 3 crystals in his primary which make it a silvery turquoise. He loves it. Also, his Lightsabers all have flat blades.

Be honest, how many outfit tabs do they have? I dunno. Eight?

Let’s see those outfits!

Who is/are their favorite companion(s)? T7, Kira, Scourge, and Lana (Order of appearance)

Who is/are their least favorite companion(s)? Doc. He finds his flirtatious ways disgusting, and realizes that he often points his touchers where they're not wanted.

What do they do in their spare time? Lightsaber training/exercise, drawing, tinkering, hanging out with his friends.

Do they have family? Silbings, parents, children? His family were killed by Sith, as was his whole tribe. His father had three wives (polygamous species due to gender ratio disparity). He had three older sisters and a younger one. He was informally adopted by Jasme Shan (Theron's twin sister). They see each other as siblings, and share most of their secrets with each other freely. As a result of this closeness, Satele and Theron also awkwardly treat him like family. Satele is the less awkward of the two, believe it or not. He marries Lana after Yavin, and they have two children together. I'm still figuring out their names, but I'm thinking Raphael and Harini.

Who is their BFF?  Jasme Shan. They met on his first day on Tython, where his heroism landed him in the psych ward (all those deaths). Jasme came to spend time with him every day, which he deeply appreciated. And he was a real sweetheart with a heart of tortured gold, so Jasme quickly decided he was her brother. Their friendship has been a source of comfort for them both, over the years. In case you're wondering, neither has ever harbored romantic feelings for the other.

Who is their rival?  Kairegane Rooks, Sith Warrior. I say rival, but I really mean 'rival.' They're close friends who like to spar and motivate each other. Also, Kairegane marries Jasme, so sort of like in-Laws xD

Do they have a love interest? Who? Lana Beniko.

Would they continue their legacy by having children? Adopt? Get an apprentice? Two children and an apprentice. They both (he and Lana) share the apprentice, giving her the sum of their teachings. They also raise Lana's younger brother Ivan Beniko together after their father passes away. Ivan was born a year after KotFE Chapter 1. He also had Kira as his Padawan.

What is their sexual orientation? Honestly haven't decided. Sometimes I think it's pan, though I've never written him having a romantic relationship with a man.

Do they like their role in their current situation? i.e.: if they are a Sith do they like being in the Sith order? Yeah, but he thinks he's a poor Jedi. And for most of his life, he is. He is far too tormented, and Masters often say that he's a poor Jedi, but a really good person. He overcomes his demons with Lana's help and emerges with bearing worthy of a Jedi Master, which earns him that title. But he quits the Order right after in order to settle the matter of Vitiate. The Order promises to welcome him back, should he ever decide to return to the fold.

If they could be part of another group, what would it be? You can choice from Old Republic, Expanded Universe, or Cinematic Universe. I don't think he'd be anything but a ronin.

Do they have any deep dark secrets? His time as the Emperor's plaything. It's different from the game. He doesn't become a slave, he becomes a raging beast eager for carnage, and barely under anyone's control. The Emperor sent him on dozens of murderous rampages, and he only broke free thanks to Jasme. Few know about it. He also attempted to end his own life once, not long after the battle with Angral. He was haunted by his failure to save Uphrades.

Do they have any vices? Never thought about it.

Do they have any regrets? Not saving Uphrades. Going to Marr's ship in KotFE chapter 1. Not being there for Kairegane when she died, or Jasme in the months afterwards.

Have they done anything embarrassing? When sedated after his suicide attempt, he mumbled something something about Satele being cute (and Jasme). He wasn't trying to flirt. In another similar instance, he asked her if he was a good boy, and if she was proud of him. She laughed and said yes to both.

What’s their favorite food?  Pizzas, I guess.

Do they like to boogie? Do they dance to that good old cantina band? He is canonically one of the best dancers out there. He even has a 'dancer's gait' that makes people stare at him when he passes.

Describe their personality. Are they snarky, noble, insane, etc? Somewhat naive and open. Eager to please. I think he has golden retriever energy.

Do they have any special skills? He can see Shatterpoints, like Mace Windu. This allows him to evaluate situations. And sometimes, opponents and armies, finding out surprising weak spots. He also created his own version of Juyo called Rath that cuts through the Dark Side and traps it on his blade for him to later release.

In KotFE which companion(s) from another class are you most looking forward to them recruiting? Vette. Since he was close to the Warrior, he was also very good friends with Vette. And when he is released from Carbonite, she and her hubby have had a kid, so there's more excited chatter incoming.

Any major flaws? Mental health is the biggest one for about ten years. Pride is another one. He rarely asks for help in combat. It nearly gets him killed. And he refuses to use cybernetic implants.

In KotFE what is their relationship with Valkorion? He tries to stay civil, unwilling to waste energy on pointless fights. Also hoping he'll slip up and reveal something.

[kemendin]

Update - Chapters VIII-IX

Return // Rebirth

Jedi Knight Caspian Serapis is at last reunited with his missing crewmates, Kira Carsen and Lord Scourge, when the two make an unexpected appearance on Corellia to rescue him from the wreckage of the Meridian Complex. As Cas recovers and reconnects with his companions in the quiet aftermath of the battle, it isn’t just his own long-lost yearnings that are pushed to light. Now, after so many years apart, both Cas and Scourge must decide - does the path ahead lie again in their curious bond as allies, or as something more?

MAIN POST | Read from the beginning

Read on AO3 (short excerpt below cut)

“Since returning to the galaxy at large, I have heard much about what you’ve done on your own. Your battles with the Eternal Empire, and this Alliance you built to oppose it… such things are no small feat.” Scourge clears his throat, then goes on, “I… am proud of you, Caspian. Destroying the Emperor for good, claiming his throne - you have accomplished even more than I’d hoped for.”

Another startled breath leaves Caspian as he sees a shadow of a smile cross Scourge’s lips. Not the sharp, sardonic pretence he remembers, turning the Sith’s expression almost predatory; but a true smile, one that transforms his face in a way Cas has never seen, except in the haunted yearnings of his heart.

Dazed, he stares up at Scourge. “Yeah, look at that,” he says faintly. “I finally got on that throne, just like you always wanted. Sorry I couldn’t stay there, though….”

But his head is spinning. This is not the Scourge he remembers, this oddly hesitant Sith who is standing there, complimenting him openly, speaking of things like sentiment and belonging. And he needs to understand why.

So Cas swallows, and carefully, cautiously, he does something he’d long ago trained himself not to do, simply because of the sheer, nauseating discomfort it always caused in him; he stretches out his senses, and touches the strange void that is Scourge’s presence in the Force.

But he cannot find it.

Instead he finds a wall, the same heavy shroud he had sensed on Mek-Sha. Only this time, there are cracks in it, cracks that splinter further even as he brushes at them, and from them he can feel a veritable blaze of emotion bleeding out into the Force.

Cas inhales sharply, unbalanced by the intensity of even these half-contained emotions. Without thought he grabs for Scourge’s hand, clutching it between his own, feeling again the unfamiliar warmth emanating from the Sith’s skin; and now he looks up at Scourge with confused wonder once more widening his gaze.

“What’s happened?” he asks again, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest, his brain dizzy with disbelief. “I can - feel you?”

[fizzigigsimmer]

The power of narrative empathy.

This is kind of a strange post about Billy, but I’m just gonna let it flow. I’m gonna start with this, I am a Billy Hargrove fan. I am a black, queer, female abuse survivor and I make no apologies about loving this character. Also, none of what I just said matters, I just think it’s important to note that we are out here. Even if I wasn’t those things I would still have the liberty and hopefuly the empathy to feel for his character. Today I want to talk about how Billy was written, why I think that’s dead wrong and damaging to those of us who survive abuse without a halo, and I am going to use another beloved fictional victim to do it. He also happens to be one of the world’s most iconic and well known villains. Yes I am going to talk about Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker, and how his story is real. How it happened to me and it’s happening to someone else right now, and how I see evidence of the same societal failure shown in the films playing out in real time every damn day in the Stranger Things Fandom when it comes to Billy Hargrove. So here we go.

For a highly condensed slightly satirical recap: The genocidal tyrant formerly known as Darth Vader started out as Anakin Skywalker. A gifted child slave whose only living family was his mother. If the words child slave didn’t clue you in, let me just tell you that my ravenous consuming of any and all Star Wars companion novels confirmed that Anakin regularly suffered abuse and was put into life threatening danger by a greedy master because he was a protege pilot. As a result, Anakin learned from a pretty early age that how he used his gifts might literally be the difference between whether he and his mom survived. Fun shit like that.

Despite all, Anakin was a good person. Yeah he was a little rash and a little angry sometimes, but he was also kind, brave, and loyal and had all the makings of a great person - in other words he was an ordinary child who just happened to have a special power that gave his FEELINGS agency in the world.

Enter the Jedi Knights, literal space Knights, and fellow feelings practitioners. They’ve developed a truly insane way of dealing with the fact that their feelings are a literal force in the world, by forming a kind of religion around not allowing themselves to feel very much at all and keeping the peace. They’re the ultimate good guys whose reputation proceeds them and our enslaved child instantly looks up to and idolizes them as heroes. He’s willing to put his life in danger to help them even when there’s literally no gain in it for him and then they happily use him in order to get some parts they need to get off the planet. He’s 9 by the way.

But Anakin isn’t risking his life for nothing nothing. Jedi master Qui-Gon Jin has seen Anakin is a fellow feelings user and immediately thinks he’s the prophesied “Chosen One”, who is supposed to bring BALANCE TO THE FORCE THAT GUIDES THE UNIVERSE. Based on literally nothing nothing and possibly an immaculate conception. Anyway, he’s convinced. Even though he already has an apprentice/surrogate son, he immediately starts love bombing this slave child and filling his head with promises that he’s gonna be freed from his horrible life and trained to be this great Jedi - promises he has no idea whether he’ll be able to keep by the way. So Qui-Gon buys a child and calls it a rescue, and tells him he’s going to have to leave his mother in bondage and cut off all emotional ties to her. Like he can never see her again or even feel too strongly about never seeing her again because Jedi’s aren’t supposed to love. Love is too strong a feeling and it leads to all the other BAD FEELINGS. So the nine year old child slave is told to be brave and start acting like a Jedi already and stop with the whole being scared/guilty about leaving his mother thing.

The nine year-old child slave who has just been separated from his mother for life, does not do that. In a turn of events that should really shock no one, instead he immediately trauma imprints on the first girl who shows him empathy after he opens up about his EMOTIONAL PAIN. He then spends the next decade fixated on this girl and crying out for help because he can not just turn off his emotions. He is constantly criticized, demeaned, and treated like a pariah for not just being able to magically rise above his trauma or control his trauma responses, in order to become the white knight he’s supposed to be for the republic. Side note, when I say dude was erratic AF and crying out for help AF, I mean that. There are several Youtube Psychologists who have done reactions to this character and an interesting theme  throughout all of them is how Anakin displays all of the typical indicators for Bipolar Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder. It’s interesting, and I’ve linked a favorite.

So back to this child slave who is either the victim of a three movie long mental health crisis or the Worst Writing Syndrome (I’ll take both for 300 Alex). Obi-Wan, Anakin’s big brother/father figure has no idea what the hell he is doing or how to help him, because he hasn’t processed his own trauma. Time for a side note about Obi-Wan’s former master Qui-Gon. He was an overly critical and emotionally unavailable teacher/father whose teaching style was essentially to give out tiny scraps of approval every now and again just so Obi-wan didn’t decide to swallow his light saber.

So there was Obi-wan, 25 years old, still out here trying to get daddy’s stamp of approval so that he can be a real man who has MASTERED HIS FEELINGS, but he’s being told he’s not ready and reminded of all of his short comings on the regular. It’s Tuesday in other words. But then dad finds this new kid and literally just stops caring about training Obi-wan. He tells Obi-wan it’s time he moved out and got a job with zero notice.

Qui-Gon announces to the Jedi Council that he wants Anakin as his apprentice. Which is super awkward because his actual apprentice is standing right there. When they point out that he’s already got one, he’s suddenly all ‘oh Obi-wan is ready to be a big boy now’. Obi-wan was rightly jealous, hurt, and low-key pissed off, but Jedi’s aren’t supposed to let FEELINGS get the better of them so he swallows sadness.

Qui-Gon might be a bit of a dick but he is still dad, so when he tragically dies right in Obi-wan’s arms and uses his very last breathes to beg him to train Anakin, this fresh as fuck Jedi-Knight suddenly becomes a father figure to a traumatized slave child. And the saddest thing is Obi-wan is a better man than Qui-Gon. He has every reason in the world to hate this little twerp, but he tries so hard to break the cycle and he be the father figure Anakin needs.

But the thing about breaking cycles is someone has to teach you how to do it. The Jedi Council is not out here encouraging Obi-Wan to be emotionally present and empathetic to Anakin’s unique struggles and challenges. And LOLS do he have them. In fact Obi-Wan is constantly in the council room defending Anakin against their prejudice for shit Anakin can’t control, and is often being criticized himself for being too soft with his apprentice. Like they would literally sit him down and essentially tell him to stop being an Anakin defender and apologist 😂.

So the end result was Obi-wan landed somewhere in the messy middle between the dad he promised himself he wouldn’t be and the one he wanted to be, and the child slave’s mental health continued to decline (surprise surprise) until he finally met a creepy groomer who manipulated him by VALIDATING HIS EMOTIONAL PAIN. Nobody intervened, although there was ample opportunities to do so. Anakin was literally as well as figuratively crying out for help the whole time. He didn’t get it. He was told to just stop being afraid. Just stop being angry. Just stop loving your mother and don’t think about what may or may have happened to her. Just stop and do the savior thing okay? JUST GET OVER YOUR FEELINGS ANAKIN.

And the rest is just tragic history.

I took the time to write all that because I have been in Anakin’s and Billy’s figurative shoes. I was abused more ways than I want to recount here, and I’ll just say it. It messed me the fuck up. I know what it’s like to cry for help, over and over again and never get it. I know what it’s like to be blamed for blowing the whistle the same day you’re blamed for behavior that stems from the rage of utter helplessness. I know what it’s like to break shit and hurt people who don’t deserve it because that’s what you know. And I know what it’s like to be told I have to break the cycle somehow, even though you wouldn’t know the first place to begin even if you were in a place safe enough to start.

I aged out of my abuse. Nobody rescued me. The systems failed me. I simply got old enough to move away from my abusers and then after considerable self harming behavior I got lucky and broke good. I reached my lowest low and realized I did want to live and that I had to fix my shit in order to do that. I started going to therapy and working to build the life I wanted. And in case this isn’t clear enough I will spell it out. The world did not look at me, an abuse survivor and empathize. There was not a reliable support system, no heroes in capes. I’m here, stable, loved and in a good place because I survived long enough to buy the help I needed. That’s it. It’s fucking tragic and as a society we have a lot to be ashamed for. We fail.

I empathize with Billy Hargrove because his story is my story. Right down to societies response, and the way his writers decided to condemn him from conception.

As terrible a writer as George Lucas may be that is the one thing he did not do. He could have condemned the character of Darth Vader with his narrative, but instead he wrote what is essentially a redemptive six part epic about an abuse survivor that the ENTIRE GALAXY FAILED. Anakin’s story is a text book case for why it is fucking awful to look at an abuse survivor and put the burden of healing on them. Like they’re just supposed to be organically “resilient” to the shit that you claim you wouldn’t even know how to survive, in order to be some virtuous example to others about how to “stay good”. 

People expect that of characters like Billy Hargrove because that’s what people expect of real victims too. You’re only worthy of empathy if you somehow survive the unsurvivable mentally and emotionally intact. That’s how the Duffer brothers related to Billy’s trauma. In their own words, he’s not written as what he is (an abused child) he’s a villain whom they wanted to look like a real boy so they gave him trauma. He’s written to be judged, hated for his inability to just magically STOP, and then die so that the story can plod forward.

And just in case you don’t yet see why that matters, just stop and think about how people are more accepting of the character who literally decimated planets and slaughtered children, than the teen who was abused and then possessed. Anakin is allowed to have fans who empathize with his struggles, who dream of the better life he might have had. Anakin’s sacrificial death is allowed to be the redemptive moment that it was, and he’s literally allowed to shed the name of Darth Vader and be remembered as the friend and brother that Obi-wan loved within his own narrative. Because he’s written with empathy.

And society responds to that empathy. I have never, not once, been shamed, ridiculed, or called a child murder apologists (or what the fuck ever) for loving his character.

Billy isn’t real, but the people who empathize with and see themselves in his character are real. Nobody’s required to like him, love him, or even want to think about him for that matter but this drive some people have to blanket judge other fans and start calling people weirdos and monsters for feeling anything for him that isn’t disgust - that’s what can stop. You can literally just stop. Back away from the keyboard and take a deep breath. Agree to disagree. Feel how you feel. But don’t go fucking far out of your way to tear strangers down over the internet.There’s no justification in the world for it. I promise.