#I wanna write an essay about how they complement each other

[starry-sky-ocean]

Something that I see complained about in writing or in series is love!

Relationships are often seen nowadays as overplayed and “not everything needs to be romantic and it can be platonic!”

However I wanna say this, when there is chemistry, there is chemistry. No denying that these characters complement each other to such a degree where a character that’s meant to be a love interest lacks in comparison to the “Friend”.

A well written relationship is hard but that’s why slow burns exist, they give you an intamite and better viewing of how characters work and flow together take for Example Carm and Syd or Janine and Gregory. Two dynamics that by all means are romantic but in the current show aren’t together.

Janine and Gregory are stated to have feelings for each other but Janine feels as though she isn’t ready for a relationship showing a real way that some people feel about relationships. It could’ve been cut short and they could’ve been dating in the 2nd season but they decided not to,

With Syd and Carmy, their never meant to be seen as a relationship but due to how the show makes them interact it’s lead to a hype in this. The two of them are able to communicate in a way where they truly understand and synchronize each other and it’s shown that Carmy was genuinely sorry for not focusing on the bear but the way he phrased it was he should’ve given Syd 100% of his attention this could be read in a very romantic way. I’ll say if they don’t go romantic I’ll be fine with it but if they do I hope it’s not till later seasons, both of the characters are not in places they can emotionally be there for each other.

I have a lot more thoughts but this is like an essay, just know if you plan on writing romance take the slow way trust it’ll give a much bigger pay off.

[itsahardrockpunk]

OH HELL YES

Skyringkru is taking turns on being the no-holds-barred-no-suggestions-taken leaders and I’m loving it

Gabriel ✔️

Echo ✔️

*waits patiently for the rest*

[stanlunter]

Well my thoughts about "Lunter" types (what variants of liking Luz and Hunter relationship we have and my opinion about them).

1. Siblings.

I personally obviously don't see them so and don't like their relationship at in this point, however I think this type of relationship could work out, but not in canon. Their relationship just never were written this way them to could see each other as siblings and that's why I don't see it and never will. I don't mind it to be someone's fanon, but if Dana wanted to make it canon, it was written realy awful. I could write a whole post about why it can't and shouldn't work out now and how shoulded they do it it to work out. Anyways, in s3 I understand why they being seem so, but to me s3 basicly just wasted Hunter's chatacter fully.

2. Friends / bestie.

I basicly also don't like the idea of them to just be "friends", bc since Hollow mind their bond is TOO strong for it. But if it would be like besties who help each other and love each other without any kind of romantic attraction and without dating, I don't realy mind.

3. Platonic ship.

Even tho in canon their relationship are very like platonic and if they would realy became a couple, they still would be only platonic, I don't like this. The problem is that too many people ignore in the frase "platonic ship" the word "ship". Every time someone say they like platonic ship, people just accept it how "I like their relationship"/"I see them as siblings" and it is a problem to me, bc it basicly exclude platonic Lunter shippers from Lunter fans even if they don't wanna be exclude. Also a lot of people think "platonic" means "without romantic attraction", while in fact it means only "without sexual attraction" so romantic attraction still can be there and at this point I realy like the idea of this as well, but again, not like "blusings, dates, kisses and other stuff".

4. Typical romantic.

What I mean by "typical romantic"? To me it's this annoying stuff like blushings, complements, embarassment, holding hands, a wish to show your partner only the best part of you and basicly just almost everything Lumity and Huntlow have. No, thank you, but I sick of it. Mb it's just bc Im on aromantic spectrum so I don't like and understand these, so if my ship don't have it in canon, it also wont have it in fanon. The only my ships who also have it in canon, so in fanon too are Scorptra and Adrigami. And Lunter is perfect even without it.

5. Frenemies to lovers.

Well.. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! This type of relationship is by far the best for them to me, cause basicly it includes everything other types have and do it in moderation. And that's what I like the most. They will flirt each other (in their own way - teasing), they will watch and discuss films together, they with always sapport, help, protect, care about each other, they will act like they can't stand each other, knowing the can't wait to see each other, they will be absolutely comfortable and opened with each other, solve riddles and get in troubles with each other! This is amazing and I love this type of their relationship so much!

6. Queer platonic relationship.

Basicly, that's like the previous one, but without frenemies part. Since QPR is one of my favourite tropes, I realy like this too and even in my au this one is most likely to happen. However, this type of relationship is too ambiguous to say much about it. Anyways, if it excludes Amity and Willow, at least as someones Luz and Hunter love more than each other, Im still for it. Sometimes platonic friends are much more important than romantic lovers. And Lunter is the best example of it.

7. Friends who secretaly love each other. Well, basicly, it is just a romantic ship, but I still love this trope and the idea of it. But I think it doesn't deservses a whole essay, sorry.

[char-lotteral]

Hai Char!! I wanna know what eps/scene/anything from Naruto/Shippuden that made you fall in love with Naruhina? :)))

AAA I LOVE THESE TYPES OF ASKS OKAY2 SO WHERE DO I BEGIN

I recently started watching Naruto last year in quarantine because I needed something to cope through because aaahh things were a bit rocky that time of month😅 So yeah, i didnt know jackshit about Naruto, I didnt even know what a rasengan was. I gave it a shot and not gonna lie, it took me a few weeks to actually invest myself in it because PACING. I guess I wasnt used to it haha. Then I got into the chuunin exams arc, I finally understood the hype behind it but I still wasnt as invested as everyone in the fandom but THATS WHEN IT HAPPENED. THERE, I SAW THAT ONE PARTICULAR EPISODE THAT WILL FOREVER BE A PART OF ME TIL THIS DAY FORTH.

After seeing her perserverance and how my girl fought back, I fell in love with her IMMEDIATELY. I thought she was cute at first letting Naruto cheat off of her test but when she just bounced back and Bitchslapped Neji, Hyuga Style, I wanted to be her soooo badd. AND WHATS EVEN CUTER WAS WHEN NARUTO, OUT OF NOWHERE, DESPITE CALLING HER A WEIRDO AND BARELY KNOWING HER AT ALL, CHEERED FOR HER AND BOOSTED HER CONFIDENCE TENFOLDS

AND AND, NOT ONLY THAT. BUT MY BOI WAS SO EXTRA, HE JUST JUMPED DOWN AND YELLED AT NEJI FOR BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS HUBBY AND SWORE A MF BLOOD OATH TO AVENGE HER

He was even looking for her after the fight 😭

Also when Naruto accidentally came across Hinata in the training grounds and became vulnerable around her for a sec that he was "uncharacteristically depressed" and Hina was all like; "Nooo, I think you're awesome and so cool! Even though you fail and fail, you still look cool doing it!!!"

Then ik alot of ppl dislike NH because of the fillers and fanservice but idc honestly😸 the fillers made me love them even more haha

ngl, I kinda shipped Narusaku pre shippuden but when I reached the Pain Fight, I was HOOKED. I cried at that episode. She is so precious, becaause God I love her😭

Then THIS. The way he just closed his eyes for a sec and relished the gentleness of her hand after experienceing the traumatic death of his comrade T^T He's so touch starved that this mustve felt so foreign to him akdhdka ☹💖

THIS!!!!!!!

And then I watched the movie because HELLO, it was practically their love story and idgaf what ppl say abt it. It was adorable as heck. And the more I rewatch it, the more I fall in love with it. Every👏damn👏time

also this will forever be my favorite scene in that entire movie (second to their kiss ofc)

The way his eyes were wavering, practically mesmerized by her beauty, and how he just STOPPED and looked at her in that intimate way that screams awe and amazement. Freakdk, I love them 😣

I've reached the 10 image limit so imma stop😆 Why do I love Nh so much? Idk, its just the juxtaposition of their personalities and how theyre each others biggest fans and anchors. they help the other stay grounded and believe in each other's abiities so much THEY COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER SO WELL, ITS UNREAL. EVEN THEIR COLOR SCHEME MATCHES. LIKE WHAT

The way I see it, their love is so tender and pure and I love that theyre so patient with each other. I could write essays and essays as to why I fucking love NH but i think my stories are enough to express that 😆 Im so sorry for the longass answer anon, I just get so hyped when it comes to them eeeee youve unleashed the fangirl in me💔

[btawizzle]

Guide to : Essentials Career Path in A nutshell

What makes the most sense to you right now for your career development? Since I’m taking a Journalism major in Uni, I really think that the most sense decision I’ve ever thought about ( right now) is being a journalist and a screenwriter. It may sound silly, “you’re a Journalism major, of course you’re going to be a journalist”, but I seriously have many other things in mind when it comes to my job ( I really wanna be in a rock band, you know. I can play the bass or be the front man, but yeah )

And the things I have to do to develop my career will be everything that is related to writing. I can write fiction, children's books, essays, travel and beauty blogs, or maybe write a news/article. Looking forward to it~

What will complement your interests, skill set and the lifestyle that you want to have?

P-r-a-c-t-i-c-e

Okay, since I really want to have an extra boujee-parisian-lifestyle, I really have to work my *ss off. I honestly have many interests in things that’ll make money such as building a business, baking, drawing and also writing, but sometimes I just have 0 interest in practicing them. ( I guess i really have to) but for the things that I’m excellent at and don't really need a polish, that’ll be public speaking and it applies for any speaking related matters, like storytelling, and also speech ( If I have the material, too lazy to do the research)

I really want to work in entertainment, being a screenwriter and producing some work there, being a news anchor or PD at a radio maybe? but then if I finally knocked some sense into me, I guess i want to be a lecturer in a university that writes cool scenarios for their drama club and bake when bored

What do you find to be the most compelling thing to explore at this moment in time?

Honestly, figuring out what I want to do with my life. Maybe practicing some of my hobbies that I wish has a relation with my future career,like how digital video and design are supposed to work (whole adobe thingy), how to write an article/novel/blog/essays, coding? The most complicated thing I know on earth, that I wish I could just understand in a blink and also think about what I am going to do if I want to move to france.

The path you choose to follow will help you develop your career and achieve your ideal job. Therefore, it’s important to explore the different approaches available before you begin. In the next step, you will start to look at some of these approaches.

Do you already have an idea of what your ideal job is?

I really think that the idea of an ideal job is something that gives you enough money to live but not really draining you out of energy. I mean, if you’re that busy you never get the fun anymore in those jobs, the money , it has to be worth the energy that you drained, you know.

People often talk about how your passion should be your source of money blah blah blah, but sometimes, we just don't get the fun anymore if everyone pushes us to make enough money for living everytime we do what is called our passion.

I’m thinking about being a teacher with ok money and then do my hobby/dreams as the side hustle ( you know, if i’m not pass out because m’too tired), that’s my ideal job

But if we’re talking about dream jobs? Oh how I just want to be in a rock band and do gigs until the day I die, or maybe marry Damiano David from Maneskin and become a housewife? Yeah, sounds good.

What do you think the path to it looks like?

Before we finally become a lecturer, we have to-at least- have a master degree. So, because it’s 21th century and the school tuition is not cheap, I plan to take a scholarship, and hopefully I can go to europe.

I plan to be the best at uni, not that ambitious, but just to make sure I graduate on time. Until then, I plan to do my best as a uni student, like joining some organisation , doing some internship, and obviously practicing my writing abilities. I plan to find a part time job that is related to journalism ( applying to a magazine/online zine/newspaper) or something like that really, anything ( photographer, make up artist for newbie models) and keep a little amount of money for future me.

After that, I’m going to take a B1 placement test on my german, and then maybe korean/french? And of course, IELTS so i can go to europeeee for my master studies

Ok then after uni, i want to work at a magazine while I’m applying to those scholarship studies. Ok then I got the scholarship, quit the job, went to Europe having my studies and living my best life. Hopefully I will be able to still work there and get my PR maybe? And then do literally what I want. Lecturing maybe, or get a job on some movie production ? become their screenwriter. yeah

Have you previously considered that there might be different approaches to your career path? Or is this a new concept for you?

Yes, and I am super open to it. I’m just going to try my best and the rest is not in my hands. Whatever happens later in the future, that’s what my work pays off, or that’s just what god wants me to have in my life. I’ll accept it with open heart ( hopefully)

#I really want to be rich and happy.

Before you explore these further, there are a few key areas you need to keep in mind:📷

Career goals

Knowledge

Skills

Personal characteristics

Experience

In order to start on the career path you want for yourself, you need to make a plan about what you’re missing in each of these areas and what you need to acquire. Identifying purpose or focus in this way is called ‘ikigai’ in Japanese. You can read more about ikigai by visiting the links in the See Also section.

Whichever approach you choose to develop your career, these are areas you will need to focus on to see what could be further developed as you build your career.

Now let’s explore five different approaches:

1. Matrix

The matrix approach is about having skill sets in different areas and bringing them together to create a profile that is distinct to you. You may have a variety of interests you want to pursue. With the matrix approach, you can explore how to combine these interests into a role which is unique to you.

For example, someone who would like to study web programming, as well as design, could look to combine these interests and become a web developer for any company or organisation with an online presence.

2. Ladder

The ladder approach is better suited for those who know exactly what career or job role they want. They have a dream job in mind or a dream company they wish to work for, so they’re willing to work their way up the ladder to get there.

For the person that aspires to work in television, that might mean starting out as a runner on set. They may then work their way up to get a role as a director or an executive producer, or whatever that ideal role might be.

3. Entrepreneurial

The entrepreneurial approach is about turning an idea into a business and learning along the way. You apply your current skill set whilst rapidly growing your capacity in all areas of business. It takes a lot of work, patience and courage, but can be deeply rewarding for anyone who finds this path to be of interest.

4. Network

The network approach is geared around building a network of contacts that will be mutually beneficial. For example, if you were at a tech networking event and you met a few founders, this would be a great opportunity for you.

What is key in the network approach is to ensure that you’ve thought through what you can offer someone, so that it’s a mutually beneficial and authentic relationship.

5. Portfolio

Creating a portfolio might be more commonly associated with jobs in photography or graphic design. However, it is both relevant and necessary across many disciplines. Many employers will want and need to have an idea of the type of work you can do, so the portfolio approach is a great way for you to demonstrate your skills.

If someone were looking to build a career in public relations, for example, they would be at an advantage if they had a portfolio of their previous coverage. This highlights not just their contacts but what type of work they are capable of doing.

A portfolio is just as valuable a commodity as your CV, so you should build one in line with the career you are interested in pursuing. It is also a great way to share your work and skills with people beyond a job application. For example, you could add it to your LinkedIn page, website or any other medium.

Summary

Choosing the best approach for your career is an essential component of your lifelong career development. There’s no guidebook or master plan for building your career. You can take a sabbatical, be a stay-at-home parent, or even move down a position.

The important thing to remember is that your approach is your own. If you find that multiple approaches like those mentioned above appeal to you, find a way to combine those to take the right approach for you.

Share your experience:

Have you already been using any of the approaches mentioned in this step?

Can you find any examples of other approaches for developing your career? Not for this moment, but I’ll definitely go with Matrix combined with a portfolio approach. I am building my portfolio in tumblr, wix and wordpress.

Why not have a go at exploring a few of these approaches further? I wish to explore more and I will do it thx.cash

[undercooked-ravioloni]

can you do hcs of what the creeps and/or proxies look for in a s/o??? (def include ej please, I like the way uve been writing him)

hope you like it! i really enjoyed writing this and i think you can tell by how long it is haha it’s a wholeass essay of around 1300 words um

edit: as much as i hated to, i cut out the proxies bc it was too long cries 

warning! abuse is mentioned (marked by !!!) right under the cut

+ jeff the killer

+ anything he can smash

+ okay but - his s/o should preferably be someone who can keep up with him and his urges, since he’s prone to doing it anywhere, anytime, anyhow

+ jeff’s not a picky guy. a badass s/o would be super awesome, cause he’s not exactly a soft man, but a cute one would be really nice too he loves it when his s/o is acting all adorable but he wouldn’t be caught dead admitting that

+ again, really not picky. if they’re clingy, he’d sigh as he pretends that they wanted to hold hands, when secretly, he adores his s/o being affectionate to him in front other thats right mofos, flexx

+ he, himself, would never initiate that in public though

+ and anyone who dares make fun of him is gonna go to sleep, if you catch my drift

+ if his partner isn’t that up for pda, that’s fine too, since he isn’t exactly a mushy and touchy touchy person for the most part

+ also, someone with kinda low standards would fit him well woops

+ not that he doesn’t put in effort. he’s not good at coming up with gift ideas or dates, but it’s the thought that counts? and boi you can bet he thinks of his s/o all the time sometimes

[!!!] jeff is most likely to abuse his s/o though during his fits of anger (which are frequent, although they may lessen if the man had someone to like, be there for him?). high chance that he would yell at them, play mind games and hit them so he ain’t my number one recommendation

+ BEN Drowned

+ BEN would really enjoy having a clingy s/o ! he likes being the one they go to and need validation from. he’s likely to hold hands when they go out, put his arm around them and just show how much they are into each other

+ he is big on teasing and flirting and ass grabbing so bonus points if his s/o gets all flustered and blushes all just for him boosts his ego so much

+ considering how he’s not an outdoors person, he would prefer a homebody - all he wants is to get sum chill with his s/o

+ someone who likes video games is pretty much a given !

+ well, at the very least, they have to be okay with video games, since BEN will constantly ask them to game with him

+ oh man, a competitive s/o that will give him a run for his money would put this boy on cloud nine

+ BEN would like a petite s/o he could pick up if they’re taller / stronger that him, his ego will kinda be bruised ngl

+ this ghost boy just wants to melt into his s/o’s arms and have them stroke his hair. bonus points if they mumbles sweet nothings in his adorable elf ears

+ eyeless jack

+ dating has never really been on ej’s mind mostly cause he doesn’t think anyone would wanna be with … the thing he is :,))

+ hmm

+ he would like someone who can be mature and can give him his space. he’s not too fond of people who overreact. it kind of makes him feel suffocated

+ someone non-judgmental cause, yknow, he literally eats organs for a living but hey, he’s a nice guy

+ in front of the others, he’s very civil with his s/o, treating them like anyone else in the household, but when they’re in private, he can be super affectionate and cuddly

+ an outdoorsy s/o would do jack good as they would drag him out of the little dark cave that is the medical room and into the nature. he loves nature, but often gets so lost in work that he forgets to get some fresh air

+ when it comes to physique, jack couldn’t care less. he’s definitely someone who is more attracted to the mind and if they are someone educated and knowledgeable with whom he can share his passion and curiosity for all types of subjects

+ he wants someone to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with

+ despite being a quiet person, ej isn’t a big fan of the silence. a talkative partner would complement him quite nicely, since he’s a pretty good listener. he could just listen to them talk about anything and everything for hours and not get tired

+ oh, and the person should be committed. jack thinks for the long-term, “life-long mate” sort of thing

[is0gild]

WHY I SHIP IT

You know the whole "Opposites Attract" trope? Yeah, that. I'm weak for that. A total slut for opposites attracting. Turns my knees to jelly. It's my crack. Just stick that shite into an IV straight to my veins! And these two? Got opposites coming out the wazoo!

Ice and Fire. Duh.

Introvert and extrovert. Quiet, shy girl with snarky, outgoing guy? Unf, that murders me with feels. To be fair, Elsa is not a TOTAL recluse - she’s a total sweetheart who can still hold a friendly conversation, but she's hardly the life of the party attention whore. No, that'd be THAT guy *points to lovable fire dork*

Light (Princess of Heart just trying to do her best) and Dark (Former-Nobody with a redemption arc). PS, to any Frozen fans who might be confused, “Princess of Heart” and “Nobody” are Kingdom Hearts terms - either see my Axel/Lea Cliff Notes for further deets or consult your nearest, handy-dandy KH glossary of terms.

Highborn Queen and Sly Assassin. Oof, it almost sounds so deliciously forbidden when you put it that way. Me like.

She tends to be Ms Glass-Half-Empty and he tends to be Mr Glass-Half-Full. Put there 2 half glasses together tho and you get a full glass ;D Was that hella cheesy? Yup! Think I care? Nope! Now don’t get me wrong, neither of them 100% own up to those titles - she has MORE than her fair share of bright moments, as he too has his Sad Boi™ moments. Still, they do both have a tendency to lean into those nicknames and boy howdy would it be cute watching him be the one bring a smile to her face when she’s down :3

She smol, he tol. Like, for real... he's one seriously tall boi. No official heights out there as far as I’m aware, but fan calculations put Elsa at 5'4" and Axel/Lea at either 6'4" or 6'7" (from two different sources, two different fans, take your pick). Either way, he's got at least a foot on her and just... oof! I swoon! I know, this is mega superficial, but I really don't care. It's aesthetically pleasing to me. These 2 very beautiful peeps being put together is just in general aesthetically pleasing to me.

OPPOSITES!

ATTRACTING!

Doesn't always work, but when it's done well, it can be so beautiful T_T Just love the idea of two personalities so different but that complement and balance each other out so well and help make up for what the other lacks! Ahhh, opposites attracting... that's how I wanna die *wistful, far-off, starry-eyed look*

ANYWAY! It's not all about the opposites! These two actually have a lot in common too!

They're both royal dumbasses that would (and legit DID) sacrifice themselves for their loved ones without hesitation!

They're both brave! Okay, it takes a bit of time for Elsa to come into her own courage, but by Frozen 2, our ice queen's got it in GODDAMN SPADES YO!

They’re both silly dorks with sassy, playful sides! Fire Boi wears his dorkitude on his sleeve whereas Ice Bab is a lil more shy about showing hers, but trust me, I could write a whole friggin' ESSAY on that side of her just lousy with examples! ...but I'll refrain from doing that here for the sake of not turning this "why I ship it" bit into instead being "an ode to Elsa's silliness" :P

He's an impulsive lil shit! She is too, but her impulsiveness is slightly, mind you SLIGHTLY more tempered. She'd probably do some good in reeling the big doofus in from time to time. That said, he'd still end up probably dragging her off on many adventures that she would only put on a show of mildly resisting.

Leading into my next point: they're both adventurous! C'mon, Elsa has a whole damn song about being drawn to the unknown! While Axel/Lea, well... that boy could change his self-proclaimed middle name "Dark Rescue" to "Dumbass Thrillseeker".

Smarts! They both got 'em! He's more street-smarts whereas she's more book-smarts... so this one is kinda sorta both a same AND an opposite? FANCY!

They'd both be ABSOLUTELY CLUELESS when it came to romantic love and this makes me cackle. SHE has been suppressing her emotions and trying not to have so much as one single solitary FEEL for 13 years. HE has had no heart for 10 years during which time he LITERALLY could not feel emotions. Don't worry, she's no longer suppressing and he's got the ol' ticker back, so they're both doing the whole emotions thing again, but they're both such goddamn NEWBS when it comes to feelings that they probably wouldn't know a romantic inkling if one came up and slapped them in their gorgeous faces! So just picture it: these two idiots falling in love and just being all DAFUQ IS THIS??? I THINK MY HEART ITCHES??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND HALP.

On a final-ish note that is neither really opposites nor similarities, they both canonically exist in the same universe within Kingdom Hearts, so even though they haven't actually met yet, they could still theoretically meet and it'd still be 100% kosher canon! And okay sure, Disney worlds in KH are basically AUs of their movie counterparts so just cuz Elsa exists in Axel/Lea's franchise, doesn't mean Axel/Lea exists in Elsa's franchise. BUT STILL! I just love that there IS a canon universe where they do in fact both exist and could in fact meet and I JUST THINK THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

That's it. That's all I got for now. I'm sure I'll come up with more and will return to add on to this, but to sum it all up: I just want to smoosh my fire and ice bbies cute widdle faces together :3 My my, how STEAMY that would be (huh? huh? see what I did there? cuz, ya know, she’s ice and he’s… ehhhh, I think you guys get it)

[shapeofbones]

02/04/22

so i've decided to start a stress free blog for thoughts, rants, projects, updates etc.

i've tried to start a blog for a long time but i've never succeeded bc i either made it so formal to the point where it was like writing personal essays, or i just ghosted it.

anyways i'm a high school junior and i'm pretty busy so this might become a monthly thing. i'm quite disorganized so i have thoughts scribbled all over the place (notion, notebooks, docs, discord) and i'm just adding to that collection.

but this is a stress-free environment so...!!

updates for 2022 so far

january 9-15: attended youngarts week! so phenomenal and i've talked a lot about this elsewhere so i'm not gonna ramble again. but definitely such a valuable community and place to grow. thank you nicole for giving me so much inspiration. <3 yay poetry i guess?!?! always thinking about wildness and radical suggestions too. ngl i felt intimidated by everyone's energy as an introvert but i met ppl who would randomly text me about kdramas and game pigeon so I LOVE UUU! started a skincare routine too, discreetly.

mid jan: caught up with school work mostly, spent lots of time studying for compsci... i need an A in that class... but i oddly have lots of free time to watch kdramas and play games? i've developed an unusual (but not suprising) addiction to candy crush and this water filtering game.

late jan: went to the cardiologist and luckily my heart isn't too bad but my blood cholesterol levels are abnormally high. gonna cry. watched true beauty like 3 more times and i fall in love with eunwoo every single time, smiling like a crazed gal. astro's songs are actually really good and i've been obsessed with eVeRy song for this entire month.

early feb: still not very busy, and that gives me chills because i feel like i should be dying at this point. told mr v that ap lang was the easiest (least time consuming) english class so far and he was shocked. finished our beloeved summer and started all of us are dead. i thought i'd hate zombie movies (first one and counting!) but i actually really like this one. i am trying to eat less sugar and it worked until today (feb 4) when i ate 6 girl scout cookies. birthday coming soon! means i'm 18 and will get a paypal account.

writing news so far: lynne thompson called! i'm working on publishing my chapbook manuscript and miye's doing the cover art yay!!! also wrote 2 poems, one's a ghazal. talking about brokenness and form with nicole. ran lumiere's contest and received 1500+ pieces. also wrote half of a flash fiction piece. did an interview about writing and youngarts with elyse! i also started thinking about future collection ideas (apologies, motion, abundance), and i'm really fascinated by the intersection between antithetical things (abundance vs. absence, endings vs. beginnings, loss vs. reunion, motion vs. static, wholness vs. brokenness) and how they complement each other more than repel.

random thoughts: gotta start studying for aps sometime soon // still thinking about crying in h mart, and crying // i should watch train to busan soon // my parents and sis are so obnoxiously noisy i can't bear it anymore... gives me chest pain // starting to like mitski more! // why am i so bad at reading? // eunwoo is so sexy and his voice/face is calming. calm polar bear vibes. // i feel like i'm gender fluid... really contemplating this these days.

looking forward:

i want to write a collection of poems as a personal project. not for publication though.

i want to go exploring around LA, especially korean-american imprints in this city like koreatown. wanna go out with some friends, old and new. like my band friends and maybe multi friends. learn and experience culture!

i wanna live a youtuber lifestyle (think minimalism, vegetarian, fashion revamping, makeup) but i think i'll save this till end of college apps next year.

gotta really make an ap study plan. there's 3 months left.

i'm getting $3,000 from youngarts and i want to use that well. really wanna travel but i don't think that's possible with covid. i'd buy lots of fashion items but also it seems like a waste.

[multsicorn]

Top five filk songs!

…. I love how I asked for asks cause I’m like, I miss tumblr, I wanna talk with you guys more!  And then I didn’t have time to answer for a whole day >_>.  OH, WELL.

You would probably get a different list if you asked again tomorrow, but five OF my most favorite filk songs under the cut.  (Oh, and only some have links, because the others don’t seem to exist on the internet.  Though I could record myself singing them, if anyone would want to hear and if it wouldn’t be a breach of etiquette…).

1. My Brother, My Enemy by Sassafrass.  [and/or: lyrics and explanation here.]  It’s hard for me even to pick a favorite Sassafrass song!  They’re my favorite filk artist, and one of my favorite musical artists in general.  This one doesn’t have quite as many harmonies/parts as some, but, it’s still excellent at doing that Thing where each voice sings different words as well as different notes, and, especially here, I love the way the voices diverging and coming back together repeatedly illustrates the flow of the story.  I love the evocation of a foreign (to me) emotional background (and they cry not for justice forgiveness or peace but for vengeance vengeance vengeance vengeance, an insistent crescendo that ends in a crash), and… so why is this number one.  It’s the story as well as the artistry of the telling that gets me.

In the span of seven? Minutes, Odin and Loki find something unique and valuable in each other, make this connection, this bond, swearing blood brotherhood, and then are brought by circumstance to break it (these worlds are my duty to guard and protect, I can’t make exceptions before such a threat, your children were my enemies), and the emotionally painful and complex fallout.  Could you get any more my personal aesthetic?  I kinda think not.

2. Glass Half Full (Of the Sea) by Benjamin Newman.  This is one of those songs that’s So Important to me.  (And when I saw Ben at Contata last month, I got to incoherently try to tell him so!  :D.)  This makes sense, I’m sure, to no one but me, but it is to my life what I liked to imagine “Rock Star” was about Kurt in New New York.

The story is… I found this song (for #reasons), some few years before I properly got into filk.  (I somehow managed to not realize it was about a selkie until the first time that I heared it in a filk circle!).  There’s been a lot said - outside of filk circles, too, I’m sure, though I’m mostly thinking of “Still Catch the Tide” - about the selkie myth as representing how women are confined in the traditional picture of marriage.  And at the time that this song was the song I needed - my now-husband and I had just recently moved in together - we’d known each other for three months at that time? but there were practical reasons for this.  And I was SO IN LOVE, y'know, but also struggling so much.  What is space!  What is independence!  My husband then (he hasn’t been for years and years now, we have LEARNED~) was very much like Blaine in New New York.  Basically.  Always wanting to do everything with me, and taking me not wanting to as a personal hurt.

So I used to sing - “a free creature or a wife, either way she’d lose a life, that she never wants to lose.”  Because the song wasn’t just a description of my dilemma.  (Though even the fact that it shows these as both things you might want, I appreciate!).  The chorus - especially the last chorus:

i’m not the girl who sees the glass half empty, i’ve got both my loves, that’s what makes me free, and since i can decide, i’m staying by your side, with a glass half full of the sea

provided an image of resolution for me.  And here let me explain one more thing: back in my late teens/early twenties, I actively identified myself as a deliberate optimist.  So the ending of the story being a. well, I can pick, so I’ve always got that, and, b., maybe some things suck, but here’s this THE GLASS IS STILL HALF FULL image… it just fit the particular things I was looking for so WELL.  It was a rocky adjustment, living together, deciding whether to commit to this particular relationship rather than all the unknown possibilities out there.  I’m happy with my choices!  (If you read my blog, ever, that should be obvious.)  But, yeah, this song #helped.

3. Solar Flare by Sam Baardman.  I do not have an essay to write for this one!  I just find it really beautiful, both the music and the images created by the words.  I think it was the first song I heard in a circle (where it was perfomed by Decadent Dave Clement) where I was like… I NEED TO FIND THAT AGAIN, AND HEAR IT AGAIN… and that was early on (in my filking ~career), so back when I knew less how to do that.  And for most of a decade it’s just been for me one of those songs that - you know, when you don’t feel like singing almost anything, you’re sick of all the songs you know, or they’re just not right for the mood you’re in, or whatever?  (Maybe you don’t know.  Maybe this feeling isn’t in fact ubiquitous.  I don’t know!  *shrugs.*)  It is one of those very rare songs that I never don’t feel like singing.  *hums*  there’s a comet just outside my window, hanging in the afterglow of a solar flare, and the stars like a diamond spilling off of the moon…

4. As I Am by Heather Dale.  One of my favorite love songs Of All Time?  I love Heather Dale a lot, too, and I’ve been singing this song just so much recently.  It’s supposed to be about Arthur and Guinevere.  But there’s a lot of specific notes - ’i’m not looking for perfection, i’m not offering a saint’ - ’i offer you this look inside, i offer you this trust’ - and, most especially of all, ’i need your strength to help me fight the battles that i must, i need you to remind me of the light we bear within’ - that are beautifully worded and sung, yeah.  But that also feel to me like beautiful expressions not just of infatuation, but of the sort of partnership that is… my life, really ;).  And, it’s pretty.

5. Causes And Effects by Seanan McGuire.  [link is to lyrics]  A song that answers many questions for me - not with answers that I didn’t know, mind you.  But it provides a crystallized form of something that otherwise isn’t.  And I’ve used it, in-circle, as an answer to songs that I’m sure were meant well but Rubbed Me Wrong!  … the song feels like it’s About Me, though I’m sure it’s about Seanan, but it fits many of us geek girls, and what I most take from it is this: ’she tries to tell herself that beauty isn’t worth its weight in gold, she sometimes thinks she’d sell her soul just to come out of the cold.’  (Cause YES isn’t an explanation, but also, yes.)  I don’t know.  It’s one thing to know that societal standards of beauty and of it being paramount for women to be ~beautiful~ are both bullshit, to know that if you’re lonely it’s not necessarily because of you.  It’s another thing to be able to believe that all that’s true.  And I’ve gotten there now, yeah, but it’s been a long fucking journey.  So this is a song about the road I’ve walked.

AND because, I couldn’t resist, various honorable mentions.

6. Eternal Flame, words by Bob Kanefsky, music by Julia Ecklar.  [or, to slightly misquote Batya’s Words of Bob, Julia wrote the music, Bob wrote the filk ;)].  This song is particularly special to me out of all the other filk Songs I Have Loved because it was both the first song that I sang in a filk circle - a decade ago, now, in October! - and the first song I sang at a filk non-circle (concert!!), just recently.  Also it’s probably good to have a little humor in my list somewhere, because there’s really quite a lot of it in filk.  And also also, I do sincerely love this song not just as humor, but e.g. ’when he filled the leaves with green, fractal flowers and recursive roots, the most lovely hack i’ve seen‘… really does get at something real about the beauty that’s in Nature’s patterns, and of process-based even though not intentional design.

7. Mary Ellen Carter by Stan Rogers.  Is the song I’ve sung most frequently in filk circles that isn’t a filk song.  Well.  We sing it a lot.  It’s ~found filk??~  Or it’s just a song.  But a story song about resurrecting a ship that’s served you well, even if the ship’s on sea rather than in space, well, it fits in.  And it’s something that I sing against sadness, when I’m sad.  ’though your heart it be broken or life about to end, no matter what you’ve lost, be it a home, a love, a friend, like the mary ellen carter rise again.’  (… also, it reminds me of Jack Zimmermann, nowadays.)

8. Goin’ Back To Hogwarts by Starkid.  I could meta more, on that spoken bridge of Days of Summer, or on To Have A Home, but… as a kind of complement to 'frequently sung in filk circles, not really filk,’ as above, I’m ending with another 'not really filk.’  (Though I’ve sung starkid songs in filk circles several times, and it’s always gone over just fine.)  Cause, like,.. it’s a fan song about a fictional property.  (And fun and funny and a great crowd-pleaser slash singalong.)  And certainly has a place in fandom, somewhere!, - but not specifically filk fandom.  Even if this performance in 2009 looks SO MUCH LIKE so many circles I’ve been in at other cons since slightly before that time.  I don’t think any other celebrity clip has ever made me feel so much #oneofus.