#I wanna reread orv but I cannot bring myself to
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Hate when I loose the feelings and emotions that come from one of my hyperfixations and im numb to it
Now I gotta relapse and take another shot
But im so scared of all the feelings that come with it again
Hate that km so obsessed with something that has an ambiguous ending man i have actual beef with the author
If I knew it was a happy ending, I would've been more comforted rereading
But if it was a 100% happy ending, this wouldn't have hurt or stuck w me so much
#of course im talking about omniscient reader's viewpoint im so obsessed w it that it made me feel so much#and i've always shut down all negative emotions so now im in a dilemma#I wanna reread orv but I cannot bring myself to#cus I know the emotional rollercoaster id go through#and im procrastinating by oh no need to reread you already know the story#but the story only ends when the reader gives up on it and im not ready to give up but im not ready to go through it again#I wanna reread but I cant bring myself to cus im scared
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