#I wanna make you people sufer

[deeplymax]

Hii can you write smut w suguru where he teases you a lot and fucks reader dumb pls🥸😣

! SUGARCOAT

pairing: suguru geto x fem!reader

warning: down bad duh, not proofread, MDNI. 18+, dumbification, overstimulation, squirting, p in v, Cunnilingus, i think thats it

a/n: loooordddd !! tysm for the request pookums!! totally didnt write this while my phone is breaking and glitching and refusing to work. im also sufering from the worst cramps of my life for some reason ?? sobbing. likes + reblogs + comments r always appreciated! requests r open

Suguru Geto who loves just how shy you get whenever her teases or flirts with you. Whether it be the gentle grab of your ass in that skirt, or the way he whispers filthy words into your ears even if there's people around.

Suguru Geto who makes sure to kiss your neck and leave hickies, provoking those sweet, sweet whines and begs for him that fall from your pretty lips. 

Suguru Geto who buries himself between your thighs, arms locked around the fat of your thigs, tongue working onto your clit as if it was his last meal. His eyes stay on your face the entire time, pulling his mouth away if you dare to look away from him.

“Look at me baby, wanna see that pretty face when you cum.”

Suguru Geto who can say the most filthy things about you with a straight face, with the taste of your juices on his lips after making you cum 3 times. He loves the look of pure euphoria on your half lidded eyes.

Suguru Geto who still teases you when he stuffs your cunt full of his thick cock. It’s sinful with his hands roam around your body, leaving marks on your hips, and playing around with your tits. His eyes watch those lustful expressions on your face as his dick slides in and out of you, hitting all those sweet spots from the curve of his cock.

Suguru Geto who has you keep your eyes on him as he drills your overstimulated pussy, pelvis bumping on your swollen clit. 

“That's it, good girl. Looking so pretty taking this cock, cunt’s practically talking to me.”  He’d whisper in your ear, gently kissing the trace of your jawline, feeling just how hot your face was.

Suguru Geto who loves the fucked out look on your face as he makes you cum for the nth time. Hazel eyes watching how your eyes practically roll to the back of your head, body trying to squirm away as you squirt on him again.

Suguru Geto who cums in you over and over again, the lewd look on your face nearly imprinted in his mind. He knows just how much you love feeling the warm, hot, sticky ropes of cum paint your gummy walls.

“Spread your legs baby, that's it.. Wider. Good girl.” 

Suguru Geto who loves watching the cum drip from your cunt, mixed in with your juices. Sometimes he’ll go back to eat you out after he’s came inside you.

Suguru Geto who loves to tease you, get you all flustered and worked up just to fuck you dumb minutes later.

[servands]

I write it all, all start when i was at school something on my dreams prefer and stand with me at nighttill morning that afternoon of course was scarin by hurts, people reding mins comvert so trubled, i thing theresse a proble with those shosen people thwy don jnow the trouble in theyre in of course the people in that case should be working or living theyre lives but they dont have idea thay not cool with me of course it donts bother me couse tha thing in the collegewas so well with me till te first was down, evereithing was soooo counfusing till the day they came it was so perfect that the same noice armonize as itself, the simple thing that i was blocked by the sistem of my university confuse at all as my friends till almost all my teachers, it was a course on me i cudlent study on my roomclasses not even see my friend and collegrs in they classroom people always scare me wi they toughts but this time i sufered the worse nighrmare ever just for trying to smoke a sigarete from me at the floor of my backroom it was so impresed how the infinity of feelings was destroying me and a sice of young guy tried me to scare with satanism and bad stuff, but i didnt count nothing of that i just follow the dream the case i was, my female teachers all of them cudlent help me at all beside mi male teachers not even suport me at all, allways live in rectory when i was fighting for my art and history of education, was so simple but not even disturbing for me the fact that a sir blocked me inside my university society was the real disturb, i was starting to scare for my life , the thing is that the sime fact that my life as student and art worker converse in a poor life of a children who live in the streat with bad habits and losing control with drugs make me scream from the truth that that was dead, but when i found that the way being better was caming back to home i realize that i lose my university for life the question is now ill be back for my profesionel classes ill be back for suport suffering ill be back for more srcreaming? Im scare of my real life everyday but what saves me the exaustwd work i made for keep in contact with who i love or the universal studies i bring to it self? Doesent matter people kill and since before you know about! They now they can so they tryit doesent matter they want life and your dont have a lot, doesent matter no even in you live. What i wanna tell you its dont worry i live for life and what i do is make me a better part of the world everything will be okay tha thing is how let feel with out abuse be happy and undersand what got on deserve understand the world how you got and beyond of that you deserve i deserve we all deserve but is not to be worried is for a thruth hope.

I can everething and is on know but to finish we all need to close eyes.

[manycreates]

War of Lovers

a/n: I return from writer's block with the unintentional help of my friend. We were just talking and then boom! Writing idea! So thanks for that Zack. The writing became a book trope thingy so... Characters: Royal! Male X Royal! Female Type of work/text: One-shot/Ficlet Synopsis: A prince met a princess and they fell in love but little did he know that she was his enemy and his kingdom's downfall Warnings: blood, angst, murder, betrayal, regret, death

He lied on the ground with a dagger in his heart as she pinned him down with her knees beside him, hands still on the blade. Tears welled up in her eyes as she slowly pulled out the dagger with a shaky hand. The removal of the blade caused a shock of pain through his body as it slowly faded again to the open wound in his chest.

"Ouch. That hurt, " he said with a chuckle. "It's a critical hit," he joked. A twitch of his lips pulled the corners of his mouth into a small painful smile. The tears in her eyes flowed down her cheeks at the sight of his smile and the open wound in his chest.

How can someone still joke and smile when their loved one put a dagger through their heart and they're on the very last strand of life?

She couldn't understand it. She couldn't understand him.

"Ah!" He exclaimed as his punctured heart pumped the last bit of blood it could as it began to slowly shut down. The blood flowed out of his heart instead of into it. He surely couldn't take any kind of pain. Physical pain. Mental pain. But if there was one pain he couldn't tolerate or heal from, it was emotional pain.

The pain of betrayal from the only person he had ever loved.

It hurt but he still couldn't help but look at her with contempt and happiness and... love. "This is it. This is how I die. This is how I wanted to die..." His smile widened as he reached his hand up to wipe away his lover's tears from her eyes, bloody fingers leaving a stroke behind on her cheek.

Like war paint but the marking was too late to adorn. The battle of kingdoms and rivals and enemies. The war is long over but it isn't just any war between enemies, it was the war of lovers. The victor had turned out to be the princess but she didn't want to be the winner. Victory never tasted so bitter.

With the last bit of energy he had left, he spoke "I always knew you'd be my demise..." He breathed his last as his hand fell, her cheek feeling cold as his warmth had left her instantly. She wanted to say 'sorry'. She had so much to explain and just one question to ask of him but it was too late. She stared into space hoping this was just one of his childish jokes. Hoping this was just a dream. Hoping this wasn't... real.

But alas, she found no hope and the feeling of loneliness began to slowly and agonisingly set in. It took its time as if it was torturing her until her eyes filled with tears all other again. Her tears followed like fountains in the lushest of royal gardens.

With all the anger she could pull out of her body, she took a hold of the dagger again and darted it into the ground right beside his head as a blood-curdling scream left her lungs. All the guilt and shame and pain could be heard in every vibration of her voice for miles across the corpse-filled battlefield. But no matter how many times she could plant a dagger into the ground or scream her lungs out, she still wouldn't be able to get rid of all the emotions she never ever wanted to feel.

The memories and feelings will forever haunt her and not a second will go by where she doesn't question herself

Why?

You have now reached the end of this post *cheers*. Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated ♡ Till next time :) Thank you!

[unwiltingblossom]

(1/2) I think the reason why Seven is love blindly by the fandom is 1- Reset theory and 2- Suferring. On case number one I have to say that every single character breaks the fourth wall somehow, which means that reset theory could be applied to everyone. In fact, if you take the previous games in consideration Seven is probably the bad guy. (Even though I don't think Dandelion or Nameless have a relation to mysme anymore, Another story crushed my theories hahahaha).

(2/2) On case 2, I have to say: Everyone who measure another suffering is an ass. Yes, Seven was abused by his parents. He has a dark past as a hacker. But his suffering doesn't make the pain of others invalid or non-existent. It annoys to see people saying that "Zen's problem is just being too beautiful, Jumin problem is just being too rich", and then saying how Seven has a bad past. His bad past don't  make him a perfect human being. He still have flaws and sometimes they should be acknowledge

---

Disclaimer: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with liking 707, anymore than liking any of the other boys. Discussing this subject relates to liking him to the exclusion of everyone else, dunking on everyone not 7, or assuming everyone likes him best!

1 - of course, Reset Theory is bad and people who honestly believe it’s in any way canon should feel bad. As you said, everyone breaks the fourth wall here and there. 7′s particular trope and humor benefits most from making fourth wall breaking jokes, but even he doesn’t joke about the reset theory concept, because it honestly doesn’t make sense. Games with canon reset theories are written accordingly. Mysme isn’t.

1.b - It’s a shame things like ‘Seven as the bad guy’ aren’t explored by the fandom. Since there’s a clear villain already no one bothers, but it can be fun to play around anyway.

2 - Like you said, everyone has suffering in their past in Mysme, and it’s pretty ridiculously unfair to only respect 707′s. Zen’s mother rejected him when he was young specifically because he was unusually beautiful. In the end he was forced to run away from his parents to pursue his dream of being an actor, and in return they disowned him to the point where even after his good end he still hasn’t repaired his relationship and can’t get his family’s blessing to marry his girlfriend. Jumin has been used and abused by everyone to the point where he thinks a neglectful and unbalanced relationship with his father is healthy and good, and Yoosung is suicidally depressed over Rika. Only looking at 707 because he arguably handles his suffering worst is a disservice to everyone else.

2.b - If we wanna reduce character suffering to ‘cursed with awesome’, 707 is a literal secret agent hacker man. Sure he has a tragic family backstory,  but now he’s basically a nerdier James Bond.

2.c - I’m pretty tempted to do a list of 707′s flaws and bad behavior that exist outside his route, honestly, It often seems like people only acknowledge that he’s a jerk on his route when he goes full “I’m a super jerk to push you away and you must be patient and push through’‘, but he’s honestly pretty terrible to all of his friends. Especially to Yoosung and Jumin.

In fairness, I think part of the “707 is perfect and my perfect match” stuff comes from him being an lololepic memer randomdude type (when he’s wearing his fake happy mask) and that makes him #relatable - I don’t know if anyone’s done statistics on it, but it wouldn’t surprise me to find that 707′s fanbase skews younger (I know there’s tweens who play the game despite its....risque scenes) and that’s why they connect with the concept of chatspamming and saying obnoxious memes in an attempt to be obscure.

....Actually, I wonder just what the age ranges skew toward for preferred routes, and what the routemate/content indicates about a player’s preferred fantasies.

[andersssandrew]

Oh and In the Flesh for the gen meme!

My favorite parent-child relationship : Kieren and his parents

My favorite sibling relationship : Jem and Kieren (well, not sure there is another sibling relationship in the show, isnt’t it ?)

My favorite family relationship (other) : I don’t think I like another family relationship....oh ! Maybe Ken. You know, the old man pretending he hates PDS sufferers but in fact his wife is one of them and the HVF comes and kills her, and later, he sacrifices himself to try protecting a kid (I don’t remember...his nephew ?) in the train during an attack in the beginning to season 2. It was intense ! But...ok, it’s cheating, it’s more the character and not the relationship I like. I don’t know...I kinda like Philip and his mother (who hides she treats PDS suferers)...or maybe the angst with Rick and Bill ?

My favorite friendship between two people : Amy and Kieren

My favorite friendship between a group : Amy, Simon and Kieren

My favorite mentorship : Simon and Kieren (but who is really the mentor, eh ?)

My favorite rivalry : Simon and Kieren (at the beginning)

My favorite hatred/antipathy : Gary and Kieren (oh I hate Gary so much !)

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon : Definitely Rick and Simon and Bill. Rick is the most repressed PDS sufferer because Bill doesn’t want him to be a “rotter” neither a gay person ! Things Simon is, and is very vocal about XD Simon is the exact contrast with Rick, and I would like to see how they could become rivals for Kieren’s heart, but also in the ideology, plus Bill’s hatred, maybe remembering for Simon his own father, making him kinda jealous because Rick didn’t kill his own mother, and he is like a miracle for his mother (and kinda for his dad, even if he has conflicted feelings about this)

You wanna ask me about my favorite gen relationships ? Let’s go and gimme a fandom

[nadia-zahra]

1. The mind walking!!! Like I would just explore it, use it as an escape from reality, and spy on people.

2. Hell Fire Club!!!! I don’t know jackshit ab d&d but I would be willing to join they make it look like so much fun.

3. Triple Decker Eggo Extravaganza all the way. I want to put a ridiculous amount of whipped cream and m&ms on my waffles. And I just want Hopper to be my dad he’s literally the perfect dad imo fight me.

4. Family Video. I couldn’t imagine working in the sexist ass environs that was The Hawkins Post.

5. Oh I’d punch Angela in the face. I wouldn’t even talk to her just go “HEY ANGELA” and start beating the shit out of her. I really thought El was gonna jump her instead of doing whenever she did that scream infront of everyone tho (was disappointed by that outcome)

6. This was a hard one, but I decided on trick or treating. Like we’d all get to dress up in a group costume, get a bunch of candy, and wouldn’t have to be around a bunch of random ppl in such close proximity.

7. Be stuck in the Lab for a month. Like atleast it’s human torture and not supernatural torture. Plus I’d get a sick number tattoo.

8. Pineapple Pizza from Sufer Boys solely because I wanna try their pizza. Try before you deny 😎😎

9. Be Vecna’d. 1) I would actually kill my friend because I’d start having a panic attack when I see their eyes roll back and start floating. 2) I wanna have my Runnjng Up That Hill moment; it was super slay when max did it so ofc it wanna experience it too.

10. Nancy.

11. Weirdly enough, the karate lessons with Murray. It turns into more than just karate lessons (which is so useful for self defense omg) it turns into me becoming his drinking buddy and us drunkenly having in depth conversations ab random theories ab the supernatural and government shit that happens in Hawkins, I think if I got drunk enough with him by the end of the night we’d both be wearing tin-foil hats. Not to mention gossiping with him ab everyone’s love life’s would be so fucking fun (byler specifically).

Stranger Would-You-Rather

Hey everyone! Since last week I posted general Stranger Things-related asks, I figured this week maybe we could try would-you-rather scenarios. Feel free to respond and tag folks :) Again, I chose eleven…

So, would you rather:

Have Eleven’s telekinesis or “mind-walking” ability (and if you would use either for something in particular, do tell)?

Join Hellfire Club or join band with Robin (if you have a particular character class or musical instrument, let us know!)?

Eat “triple decker Eggo extravaganzas” with Hopper and El, or watch movies at home with Joyce and Jonathan (what toppings or which movies)?

Work at The Hawkins Post or Family Video?

Tell off Angela or Troy (feel free to be creative with how you handle them…)?

Go trick-or-treating with The Party or go to the Snow Ball with The Party?

Be trapped in the Upside Down for a week or experimented on by Hawkins Labs for one month?

Eat Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup on your eggs (if you’re like me, your tofu eggs) or pineapple pizza from Surfer Boy Pizza (pineapple can be controversial, but from the last asks, it seems team pineapple is going pretty strong!)?

Be Vecna’d, and rely on someone else to save you, or watch your best friend get Vecna’d and need to save them?

Have Robin or Nancy as a sister?

Take karate lessons from Murray or skating lessons from Max?

Have fun guys <3

I’m tagging (only if you’d like to respond of course): @theosgaylittlethoughts @williambyler @ki-flor @roseateveils @joyce-bi-ers @swashbuckling-chicken @nancyfilm @woadisme @ch3rrydream @slaymaxuwu

[servands]

I write it all, all start when i was at school something on my dreams prefer and stand with me at nighttill morning that afternoon of course was scarin by hurts, people reding mins comvert so trubled, i thing theresse a proble with those shosen people thwy don jnow the trouble in theyre in of course the people in that case should be working or living theyre lives but they dont have idea thay not cool with me of course it donts bother me couse tha thing in the collegewas so well with me till te first was down, evereithing was soooo counfusing till the day they came it was so perfect that the same noice armonize as itself, the simple thing that i was blocked by the sistem of my university confuse at all as my friends till almost all my teachers, it was a course on me i cudlent study on my roomclasses not even see my friend and collegrs in they classroom people always scare me wi they toughts but this time i sufered the worse nighrmare ever just for trying to smoke a sigarete from me at the floor of my backroom it was so impresed how the infinity of feelings was destroying me and a sice of young guy tried me to scare with satanism and bad stuff, but i didnt count nothing of that i just follow the dream the case i was, my female teachers all of them cudlent help me at all beside mi male teachers not even suport me at all, allways live in rectory when i was fighting for my art and history of education, was so simple but not even disturbing for me the fact that a sir blocked me inside my university society was the real disturb, i was starting to scare for my life , the thing is that the sime fact that my life as student and art worker converse in a poor life of a children who live in the streat with bad habits and losing control with drugs make me scream from the truth that that was dead, but when i found that the way being better was caming back to home i realize that i lose my university for life the question is now ill be back for my profesionel classes ill be back for suport suffering ill be back for more srcreaming? Im scare of my real life everyday but what saves me the exaustwd work i made for keep in contact with who i love or the universal studies i bring to it self? Doesent matter people kill and since before you know about! They now they can so they tryit doesent matter they want life and your dont have a lot, doesent matter no even in you live. What i wanna tell you its dont worry i live for life and what i do is make me a better part of the world everything will be okay tha thing is how let feel with out abuse be happy and undersand what got on deserve understand the world how you got and beyond of that you deserve i deserve we all deserve but is not to be worried is for a thruth hope.

I can everething and is on know but to finish we all need to close eyes.

[lookingglasstheatre]

1. What are you listening to right now? “Kill V. Maim” by Grimes

2. What song makes you sad? I have a whole playlist called “I Used to Know You, But Now We’re Strangers” composed entirely of songs that remind me of exes or old friends I’m not longer in contact with..

“Gimme Danger” by The Stooges is a big one, along with “Everlong” by The Foo Fighters, which both remind me of very specific relationships. But, my pick for this is “Farther” by Third Eye Blind.. it could apply to a lot of different people..

“And I think about you dying years from now never having known who you are […] All I think about is waiting and all the people we are fading into Farther from you every day..” - “Farther” Third Eye Blind

3. What is the most annoying song in the world? Songs aren’t usually annoying to me unless they’re overplayed. I don’t know, no song is annoying me at the moment. Maybe that song “We Are Young” by fun. I’m not even sure it’s annoying, I just hate it.

4. Your all time favorite band? The Birthday Massacre, probably. That would be the most unique pick. Or Elliott Smith, if that counts.

5. Your newly discovered band is? The Regrettes. It’s amazing to me that Lydia Night is like 16 years old. I hope those kids keep killing it. Good luck to them.

6. Best female voice? Hope Sandoval of Mazzy Star has an amazing voice. I wish I sounded even a little bit like her.

7. Best male voice? So, I don’t think he’s the best.. but holy shit, Ville Valo from HIM has a sexy voice. It’s so sexy as to almost make you forget how cheesy HIM lyrics are. Almost.

8. Music type you find yourself listening to most? Pop music, probably.. and shitty punk rock, lol.

9. What do you listen to, to hype you up? Depends on what I’m getting hyped up for. “Bubblegum Bitch” by Marina and The Diamonds for going out and looking pretty. All of Enema of the Sate by Blink-182 for energy in the morning. Kanye for working out. Aesthetic Perfection when I’m about to hit up a goth club, hah.

10. What do you listen to when you want to calm down? Belle and Sebastian, Slowdive, Radiohead, Lana Del Rey

11. Last gig/concert you went to? My friend’s band, Sleepsnack.

12. Band you find yourself listening to the most right now? My taste shifts once the weather gets warm so; Blink-182, Fountains of Wayne, Sufer Blood, Wavves, Third Eye Blind, My Chem’s Danger Days record.

13. Most hated band? I don’t listen to music I hate unless it’s inflicted upon me by other people against my will. So I’m not good with naming bands I don’t like. As far as bands I hate for personal or political reasons.. I hate ANY band that harasses or condones the harassment of women or minorities.

14. Song that makes you think? “Romeo’s Distress” by Christian Death. It’s such a great fucking track, but I want to believe that it’s anti-white supremacist, instead of the other way around… I have read the lyrics over and over trying to figure out if Roz Williams was actually just racist. I want to believe it was written mostly for the shock value and ultimately a song just telling a story and issuing a kind of warning.. but who knows for sure.. [sigh]

15. Band that you think the world should love as much as you do? I’m always kind of surprised more people I meet aren’t more familiar with Sneaker Pimps or IAMX’s early records. Chris Corner is kind of a hero of mine.

16. Coolest music video? Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People” and the video for Death Cab for Cutie’s “Title and Registration.” “All I Full of Love” by Bjork. There are probably a bunch more I’m forgetting. All Grimes music videos.

17. Music video with the most watch? This question is phrased weirdly. But if you’re asking what music video I’ve watched the most… Malice Mizer’s “Illuminati.” Definitely. LOL. Along with Velvet Eden’s “SAD MASK.” Oh god, KALM flailing around in awful CG fire is what I LIVE for.

18. What do you play/would you play in the bedroom to spice things up? Souvlaki by Slowdive. With candles lit, after smoking together.

19. Ever been in a mosh pit? No. I would die. Look at the fucking size of me. I am a delicate doll.

20. Are you in a band? Nope. Someone start an all-girl Ramones and/or Blink-182 cover band with me.

21. Ever dated a musician? “Dated” would be kind of a strong word for it, but I had an ongoing casual thing with a guitarist in a band.

22. Do you wish yourself that you were a musician? Yes, but only because I wish I were any good at playing one of the myriad of instruments I’ve tried to learn. I wouldn’t want to be famous though.

23. Best all chick band you know of? Sleater-Kinney.

24. Last song that you heard on the radio/cd…etc…? I haven’t listened to the radio in a long, long time. I haven’t bought a CD in many years. If you’re counting any kind of physical media, I’m spinning an LP on my turntable right now; it’s Blink-182’s Enema of The State and “Anthem” just finished playing.

32. What do you think of Classical music? Eh, I can understand why some people find it boring. My mother was a classical pianist and I grew up listening to a lot of classical music. I just developed a taste for it after many years, I guess.

33. What do you think of Country music? It reminds me of growing up in Texas. There will always be at least one or two country songs I like - a lot of which reminds me of middle school dances and crying in the bathroom alone because my crush didn’t like me back. And everyone likes at least one Johnny Cash song.

34. What do you think of metal? I like it. I can only take so much screaming, to be honest.. but some bands I really love can be classified as metal.

35. Last BIG band that you saw live? Blink-182.

36. Are you a groupie? Nope.

37. Do you listen to music in foreign languages? I used to listen to a LOT of J-Rock. I also listen to music in Korean, German, Romanian, and French.

38. What famous musician would you like to “spend the night with”!?

Woman; Lauren Mayberry of Chvrches. She’s a great front woman and so, so cute.

Man; I’d say Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance, but I feel weird about it because he’s also married to another super-crush of mine; Lindsey from Mindless Self Indulgence… so maybe Elliott Smith when he was still alive. I get a strong impression that he respected women.

39. Worst concert moment? Any time someone drunkenly falls all over me and/or hits me. It always seems to happen. Also when I saw Kaya live with my sister there was a guy trying to hit on her the entire time and I felt really bad that I didn’t exactly notice until we were out of the show.

40. Funny concert moment? When I went to see Marina and The Diamonds there was a guy next to me with his boyfriend and right in front of us was a woman with her teenage son. At some point they lit up a joint and offered some to the mom (who honestly looked kind of square) and she and them got high together. It was pretty amusing watching them chill together.

41. Sad concert moment? I went to see IAMX with a boyfriend, who I loved very much, but he didn’t really know the band. A few rows back, my ex (who I had just recently broken up with) was there with a coworker. I was sad we’d gotten to a point where we couldn’t go together or hang out anymore because we have really similar taste in music and that concert was amazing and I was sad not to be able to hang out with him during it.

42. Best local act you can think of? King Woman is originally from this area, I think.

43. If you were a musical instrument what would you be? Vocalist. I suck at everything else. In a perfect world I’d be the guitarist or keys.

44. Do you listen to the radio? Honestly, no, and I haven’t since grade school, really.

45. Do you watch music TV? I don’t have cable.

46. Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40? I did in grade school, but I haven’t really paid attention to music charts since then.

47. Have you meet any famous musicians? Met Kaya at an autograph session at Anime USA. It was at the peak of my Kaya obsession. He told me I was pretty. It was awesome.

48. Are any of your friends/family/etc. musicians? My mom was a piano teacher. My dad is basically tone deaf, haha.

49. Song that best describes your feelings right now? “I Really Like You” by Carly Rae Jepson.

50. Song that describes your life? The ENTIRE record Froot by Marina And the Diamonds. ESPECIALLY “I’m a Ruin” “Blue” and “Forget” and “Weeds”.. and “Immortal” Yeah, I can’t pick just one song… The whole record. Just listen to the whole thing and you’ll understand me, haha. Which I realize, does not paint me in a very flattering light.. but it’s accurate.

“Gimme love, gimme dreams, gimme a good self esteem” -Blue

“Cause I have lived my life in debt I’ve spent my days in deep regret Yeah, I’ve been living in the red But I wanna forgive and forget” -Forget

“I miss all of my exes They’re the only ones that know me And God knows that sex is A way to feel a bit, a little bit less lonely Yeah, I tried to keep it covered up Yeah, I thought I cut him at the root But now I think my time is up Cause he keeps growing back Like weeds” - Weeds

51. Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to? Not even remotely. There are some exceptions, but for the most part, no.

52. Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a part? A part in what? I think it plays a role in how popular they become. As far as it playing a role in how much I like them, I appreciate bands with a strong aesthetic, but it’s hardly necessary. Some of my favorite bands I wouldn’t even be able to recognize if I saw a photo of.

53. What famous musician do you want to marry? I don’t think someone’s musical output is a good way to gauge their marriageability..

54. Favourite movie soundtrack? The Scott Pilgrim vs The World OST.

55. Any musician pet hates? Any time musicians are arrogant enough to insult other musician’s work just for their own credibility. Like, you’re not cool for hating pop music, my dude. >_>

56. What do your parents listen to? My mother listens to mostly classical music, my dad likes James Taylor and Joni Mitchell

57. What are you listening to right NOW? Private Affair by The Virgins. I fucking love this song.

58. Do you wear band etc T-shirts? I hate wearing band t-shirts with a fiery passion of a thousand suns with VERY rare exceptions.

59. What do you think of people who do? I’m usually pretty.. not into those people. Like, hate is a strong word… but I’m really into fashion. Band t-shirts are like a really lazy way of expressing yourself to me. And they’re almost always printed on really boxy, non-soft material. Everyone wants to fight me on this.. I just don’t care for them.

60. What music sub-culture do you feel like you belong to? None? I always dressed too goth to really feel like I belong in the punk scene even though that was primarily what I was listening to in high school. I guess goth, but I don’t get along with or have much in common with most of the generic goths I know and I listen to too much pop for them. Is the indie-synthpop scene a thing..?

61. What song is stuck in your head right now? The theme song to Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

62. Do you sing in the shower? When I was a kid I would drag my giant boom box in the the bathroom with me and listen to it while taking a bath; mostly audiobooks, but sometimes music. I usually didn’t sing along though.

63. If so, what? If not, why not? Not sure? I sing in the car a lot. If music is on and I know the words and I’m alone, I’m singing.

66. How important is your partners taste in music to you? I’m really open about music, so whatever they are into I’ll probably get into as well. If we already share a taste in music we can discover more together, which is really fun. As long as they don’t HATE my music, it’s fine.

67. Hanson moves in next door to you, do you go introduce yourself, or do you arrange to beat them up? I’d probably just update my facebook status like, “Hanson lives next door to me. So, there’s that.” And invite them to my next barbecue.

68. Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll, you dig? Yes, sometimes, and yes.

69. Do you cook to music? Sometimes, I no longer have speakers right next to the kitchen.

70. Do you sing in the toilet? Nah.

[somethingtobewritten]

20190923

I’ve been fighting with myself my whole life, I’ve been hating myself since I became selfaware of me being fat and then realizing I’m gay.

I’m insecure, boring, lazy, over dramatic, and a bit crazy and psycho.

I’ve never had a significant relationship, I can only trust my friends. Somehow I’ve managed to make a few trusth worthy friends during my life.

I’ve actually never wanted to be alive, I don’t see its porpuse, I don’t get it. I hate feeling, I hate being so fucking lonely, I hate feeling so fucking empty. 

But, at the same time, I’m a coward, I would never have the courage to take my life. People say the ones who commit suicide are cowards, but for me they are so fucking brave, they have the guts to end the sufering. It may be selfish, but somtimes the pain is just too much, sometimes you just can’t spend a minute without being in pain, sometimes you just want a break, because even if you have sparks of happiness once in a while, after that spark is over, everything’s the same and nothing has changed. Some people are able to overcome this, I admire them, I would like to be like them but I’ve been in this dark hole for more than 10 years.

I don’t wanna keep on doing this, I just want this suffering to end.