#I wake up at noon so I consider this morning

[genoskissors]

[love-fireflysong]

God, trying to get back onto my ‘normal’ sleeping schedule now that I’m back to work again has really been messing with me. Mostly for the fact that instead of going to bed at my usual time of 1-2pm, I’ve been crashing at like 9am. Which means that I’m awake at the much, much earlier time of like 5pm and not 9pm. Which is pissing me off solely because despite the fact that I’m up so early and thus is the perfect time to do some writing, I haven’t written a single word.

Because I’ve got that wonderful block in my head that’s going ‘oh I don’t have time to write because I have to leave for work soon’. Even though soon in this case isn’t for another like 4 hours :/

So if any of you love me (or even just love my writing lol) someone should message me at like 7pm MST and yell at me to pull my head out my ass and actually be a productive and creative author for once in my life lmao

[cxrsed-angel]

Knuckle Deep in the Backseat (Joel Miller x Fem! reader smut)

rating: 18+

word count: 3k

summary: Joel convinced you to learn how to drive and offers to teach you, but ends up in the back seat with you.

warning: Smut, age gap (Joel is in his 50s, reader is in 20s). Fingering, dirty talk, Daddy kink, pet names, car sex, established relationship.

A/N: Title is inspired but causal by Chappell Roan but the fic has nothing to do with the song. This actually was in my draft since last year and was "finished" but it needed work lol.

The sun is barely up bit its still too bright, and the birds are chirping too loudly. You can feel the crisp fall air as you stand outside. You hated being up this early. You don’t even remember how Joel got you to wake up this early. Joel knew you weren't a morning person, but he had convinced you with shitty coffee to practice driving after finding a couple of gas cans. Said it might come in handy, and he doesn’t want you to be unprepared. The thought was sweet, but waking you up at 7:00 a.m. wasn’t. You figured it would be later in the day like 12pm not the ass crack of dawn. You followed him to the truck, your eyebrows frowning due to how early it was. 

“Good morning, baby. ‘You ready to drive? I woke you up ages ago. What took you so long?” 

Joel greets you with a big smile. He's leaning against the old truck, way more energetic than you are. Over the years, he’s gotten used to waking up early, which you didn’t understand. You hated how chipper he was in the morning; you couldn’t relate. You’d be lucky if you rolled out of bed before noon. 

You walk up to him, flipping him off before taking the coffee from his hand. He laughs and watches as you take a sip of coffee. You walk to the driver's side of the car, and he follows behind you. You watch as he opens the door and starts hot-wiring the car to start it. 

You see him standing next to an old four-door black truck, holding the coffee he had promised, smiling. “You know I used to have a truck like this; it was black—” You nod, staring at him, not really listening to him go on about his old pre end of the world truck he used to own. You're still trying to wake up, zoning out a bit. You stare at him briefly, and he realizes that you haven't been listening. 

He stops rambling about the mileage he had on his old truck and the deal he got on it. “You ever drove one of these before?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer. You give him a deadpanned stare, narrowing your eyes, 

“And when would I have driven one of these, Joel? Considering most cars stopped working about 20 years ago.” You knew you were being cranky, but you didn’t appreciate being up before noon if your life wasn’t depending on it.

He looks up from hot wiring, mumbling under his breath, “fucking smart ass” You roll you’re eyes and watch as he continues messing with wires until you hear the car turns on; you stare at him as he walks around.

 His ass looks particularly good in his jeans as he walks around the truck to get into the passenger seat. Normally, you would try to make your staring more subtly, but it was hard since you’re barely awake; he just looked so good. The greying hair, his pretty brown eyes, the wrinkles around his forehead from frowning for the last 20 years, the cuts around his face, his muscles peeking through his shirt sleeves. You’re broken out of your trance when you hear his deep Texas voice that had lured you out here in the first place. 

“Are you gonna stand there and check me out all day, or are you gonna get your ass in the car.” 

You stop daydreaming, his words snapping you out of your semi-dirty thoughts. You walk to the car and get into the driver’s seat. You’re sitting in the driver's seat as he asks, “Ok, so tell me what you remember.” 

“Well, not much, considering the last time I was in a car that worked, I was a toddler,” You answer again sarcastically, rolling your eyes, still cranky and grumpy. 

Joel turns his head to look at you, narrowing his eyes at your snark. He knows it usually takes a good 30 minutes or so for you to be yourself when he woke you up early, but today, you seemed extra grumpy. 

The first time Joel woke you up early in the morning, you gave him short responses or cursed him out every other sentence all morning. It was earlier on when he met you. Joel thought you were pissed at him or that he did something, so he responded back with short responses and attitude, which led to a lot of tension the rest of the day. But after a couple of weeks of early morning runs, he saw that that was just how you are, and he eventually got used to it. He also realized that if he gave you coffee and was patient, you’d eventually wake up faster. Still, it didn't work every time, and it seemed like this was one of those mornings where you were extra cranky and a pain in the ass. 

You take another sip of his coffee and sigh, realizing you were being too bitchy; you hand the coffee back to him. “I’m sorry. That was a bit much. I’ll tone it down. Promise.” 

He looks at you as he puts the coffee in the cup holder, unsure if he believes you. He replies dry and sarcastically. “I'm sure you will.” He starts talking about something, but honestly, you weren’t listening, too lost in those brown eyes of his to focus on what he was saying again.

 You see him motion to the thing with numbers above the steering. You know it's probably important, but you're far more interested in how good his hands look as he gestures to the different parts of the car. Fuck why did he have to be so hot? 

“So, um, 20 years ago, you would’ve had to take a test and worry about a lot of different rules of the road and deal with people riding your ass, tailgating, and a lot of other shit, but um, now I guess the important thing is just getting somewhere as fast as possible isn't it? You’d probably not gonna drive often, but it's good to know.”

You nod, paying attention to his words now instead of all the dirty things you want him to do to you, trying to focus on getting ready to drive. 

“Alright, you feel those two pedals down there. The one on the left is the brake, and the one on the right is the gas; you only want to use one foot while driving; you can really mess up the car if you press both at the same time. See these here are your shifts to D for drive, P for park, R for reverse.” He pauses, thinking about anything he might’ve missed, but he remembers you weren’t gonna be driving like he used to, “Thats all you really need to know.” 

You watch as he explains everything to you. He tells you to put it into drive, and the car starts moving forward slightly. You shakily put your hands on the wheel, gripping it tightly, and press down the gas pedal, nervously chewing on your lip. He guides you through an old road that wasn’t too overgrown or hard to navigate. After a few minutes, you feel like you're starting to get the hang of it. You feel Joel place his hand on your thigh, resting it there. You look over at him slightly, wondering if you have messed up or done something wrong. Still, he says nothing about letting you drive, resting his hand on your thigh, and occasionally squeezing it. 

“Am I doing okay?” you ask quietly as his hand continues to rest on your thigh, slowly rubbing further up your thighs.  You feel his hand creep up higher and the air in the truck getting hotter as his hand makes you feel warm. You lose focus on what you are doing and feel the car drifting off the road as his hand reaches further up your shorts. You feel the arousal building in your core. 

“Doin' great baby, just try to keep the wheel straight; you're drifting sideways a little.” He leans over you, grabbing the wheel to make it straight before letting you take over again, “Atta girl, see, you're doing perfectly.” 

His hand lightly squeezes your thigh reassuringly. You swallow hard, trying not to let his actions and deep voice affect you, trying to focus your attention back on the road. But that went out the window once you felt his hand rub the place you needed him most through your pants. 

“Joel,” you whisper his name. It comes out more of a moan than you intended; he leans over the gear shift, kissing your neck and sucking on your skin. You close your eyes, feeling your body getting hotter and your heart beating faster. You had forgotten you were supposed to control a vehicle until he moved his lips off your neck. 

“Focus on the road, baby; after all the shit I’ve been through, I don't wanna die because you drove us into a damn tree.” 

You open your eyes, listening to him, and focus back on driving. At least you try to, but you fail once his fingers start unbuttoning your jeans. His hands go down your pants and slowly caress against your pussy over your panties. You feel your face heat up, getting wetter, more turned on by his fingers teasing you. 

You don’t know how you’d manage to drive this much without crashing the truck, but you lose what little self-control you have left when Joel moves your panties to the side. Your foot moves off the gas pedal, the car stops, and you can't take it anymore. You close your eyes, feeling yourself get wetter. 

“Joel! I can't–ah– I need you please, please, please, I need you,” you beg and whine to him, wanting him to do more, but all you hear is his deep voice laugh at you as he removes his hand from your pants. 

“All of a sudden, you have manners, and bein’ polite.” he mocks you as he moves back into his seat, watching you get a bit mad.. “What happened to all that attitude and snark you gave me 10 minutes ago.” He continues as you look at him, your face flush and hot. No way you continue with this driving lesson after feeling his fingers against your core. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry I won't be a pain in the ass anymore.” You try to apologize, hoping he’ll accept it and put his hand back. You look at him with soft eyes, practically beginning him to fuck you. 

He looks at you for a few minutes before shaking his head and giving you a smirk, not being easily won over by your apologies or the 180 in your attitude.

“What?. You think a few sorrys gonna have me forget how much attitude you gave me for no reason?” You frown as he continues, “No, sweetheart, you’ve been an extra wiseass this morning, and I don't think you deserve it.” 

You shake your head to apologize again, hoping to convince. “Joel… Please, I said I was sorry. You know I’m not a morning person, and I never mean it.” He doesn't say anything as he looks at you. You can tell he’s debating whether to drive back to Jackson or go to the back of the truck. “Alright, fine baby, get in the back. But I ain't letting you get that easy,” he grunts in a deep Texas voice. You smile, glad he had given in. 

You unbuckle your seat belt and crawl into the truck's back seat. You're about to leave the car, but Joel places a hand on your shoulder, stopping you. 

 “You gotta put it into park, darling, or we’ll go rolling into a tree.” He gently reminds you as he opens the passenger door. 

You glance at the gear shift, remembering you were supposed to be a driving lesson that had taken a turn.

 “Oh, right.” You sit back in the driver's seat, putting the gearshift into P. You couldn't turn the car off since it was hot-wired, so you watch as Joel reaches over and pulls another small lever thing up, not exactly sure what it is for. 

“The emergency brake. Just to be safe.” 

 After parking the car and making sure the car wasn't going to roll backward, You hop over the console and crawl into the back seat, waiting for him to join you. You watch as Joel gets out of the passenger seat, closing the door behind him. Your eyebrow frowns slightly, confused as to why he was not hoping into the backseat with you. “Aren't you- where are you going?”  Your frown confused why he wasn't hopping over the seat like you. He smiles at you before closing the passenger door; he opens the back seat door, closing it behind him, and climbs in, sitting in the middle seat, getting into the backseat,

 “I ain't as young, and with my bad back and knees. There's no way I’m hopping over the console and crawling into the goddamn back seat like that. My knees are already bad enough.” 

You smile as he sits next to you, forgetting about your age difference, “Guess thats the con of dating an old man, huh.” You joke as he grabs your hips, gently pushes you down on the back seat, and unbuttons your jeans, hovering over you as you lay on your back. 

“Yea, but who's getting in the back seat with said old man and begging this old man to fuck you.” 

You laugh for a bit at his very valid reply. You feel him pull your jeans down and your underwear all at once. You sit with him as he tosses your clothes to the backseat floor. He moves a bit to sit on the seats, pulling you next to him, and his rough hands grab your hips. You feel him rub up your thigh with one and place his index and middle finger on the other hand against your lips. You open your mouth, sucking on them, gazing up at Joel. 

Joel lets out a groan under his breath as he looks at you, “Fuck sweetheart, look so pretty sucking on my fingers.” His praise gets you wetter as he takes his finger out of your mouth and slowly pushes them inside you. He starts off slow but gradually increases his speed as his fingers curl inside you, hitting that spot deep in you. You shudder under his touch, grinding against his fingers. 

“Fuck baby, you’re soaking my fingers.” he drawls out as he continues fucking you with his fingers. You whimper at his words, hearing the sounds of your wetness as his finger fuck deeper into you. You grab onto his bicep to steady yourself, clenching around his fingers as you get closer to your release. Your moans grow louder as you feel his fingers rub against your clit.

“Yes! Yes! Daddy, I’m so close!” You feel the pressure building, your breath gets shakier, and your moans get louder, filling the old truck, until you feel his hand cover your mouth, muffling you’re growing moans. He leans over, hovering over you more, his fingers stopping inside you.

“You need to shut the hell up before you attract a whole hoard of clickers.” His stern tone still turns you on more, his eyes staring into yours intensely. Making sure you understand him, you give him a nod with glossy eyes staring back at him. 

He slowly started moving his finger again, curling up as he reached the spot each time he slid his finger inside you. Your eyes roll back as you move your hips against his fingers. You felt his hand come out of your mouth, and you bit your lip, trying to surprise your moans. You feel you’re self getting closer, your brain getting fuzzy as his fingers move faster.  

“Is this what I have to do every morning, gotta make you cum on my fingers, then you’ll be nice?” He taunts you as you continue moaning. Your lips desperately clash with Joel’s messily making out with him. Joel’s other hand spreads your thighs further as he continues to finger fucking you. 

You nod absentmindedly, leaning your head against his neck as he continues fucking you with his fingers; his thumb rubs your clit and brings you over the edge. Joel knew, too. He knew your body like the back of your hand, even outside of sex. He always knew when you were scared when you were pissed. 

“You’re close, huh I can tell. You wanna cum, sweetheart? You’re gonna cum on daddy’s finger?” He asks softly as he sits beside you, fingers moving deeper inside your dripping cunt. 

You immediately nod, “Yes, daddy, please, please. I’m so close.” Your release slows as his fingers pull out of you. You feel your orgasm fading and your eyes open, looking at him disappointed, watching as he puts his two fingers in his mouth, tasting your wetness. He gives you a slight smirk as she shakes his head. 

“I don’t know. I’m not sure you deserve it, after how you were this morning, all those smart-ass remarks after you asked me to teach you to drive.” He slowly traces his finger over your clit, teasing you as you whine against him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll be nice!” you apologize frantically, hoping he’ll move his fingers again. Joel smiles before he slips his finger inside your aching pussy accepting your apology, and moves his finger again, the arousal building again. Your moan grows louder as his fingers bring you to your release. He brings his lips to your mouth, sloppily kissing you to quiet your moans. You moan against his lips. 

“As pretty as those moans are, you really gotta keep it down, sweetheart. Once we get back to Jackson, you can be as loud as you want. Okay?” 

You nod, knowing he’s right. You really don't wanna lure a group of infected or clickers with your moans. In this situation, you’d rather not die mid-sex from clickers. you close your eyes, feeling his fingers move faster. He brings his other hand onto your clit, rubbing it slowly.

“I know, I know but-fuck baby, I’m close, I'm so close.” The sounds of your moans and your wetness from your entrance fill the rundown truck as you get closer to your release. 

“Come on baby, atta girl, soak my finger, baby.” He coaxes, his voice guiding you through your orgasm. eye closing as you dissolve into pleasure. you gasp before moaning his name repeatedly. “Joel Joel Joel fuck daddy!” His hand comes over your mouth again to keep your moans quiet. You feel your stomach twist, your wet pussy clenches as you feel your climax. you move, laying your head on his shoulder as his fingers help you ride out your orgasm. 

You feel him remove his fingers from you. you breathe heavily, coming down from your high. Just you open your eyes; Joel puts his dripping fingers in his mouth. You watch desperately as he moans at your taste. He smiles, laughing slightly at how you look at him still recovering but, obviously still wanting him. He leans forward, planting a kiss on your forehead, and looks at you.  

“You better?” you nod silently. “You awake?” you nod again, feeling a bit weaker between your legs than before you had entered the truck. Joel laughs, gently giving you a soft kiss on your lips. “Good, now get back in the driver’s seat and take us home so I can fuck you. ” 

You nod, getting up and hopping back into the front seat. You look back at Joel, watching him get into the passenger seat. He starts the car again, and you start speeding back to Jackson. 

“You know, maybe you should give me an orgasm in the morning every day to wake me up.” you smile, making a joke but also being serious. 

Joel shakes his head at your words, laughing a bit. His hand comes back to your thigh, rubbing it. “Just focus on driving the damn truck first.” 

[idyllcy]

gentle are the hands that hold you

word count: 6.1k || banner art by @chesue00

summary: the mind may forget, but the soul will not

Leon has a set routine that he has grown used to. He wakes up, and he prepares fruit from the garden for the small temple his family has passed down to him, four peaches placed at the altar before he goes back to prepare his own breakfast. When he cooks, the sun early in the sky, and the morning dew is still present. He's certain that the sound of animals is the sound of the peaches getting eaten, and when he cleans up his plate and looks for that of the temple, the fruits are gone, including the pits, and the herbs around the altar have returned to their natural health.

He cuts three of them — one of each color.

His family has passed down the art of worshipping a forgotten deity— one whose marble statue has chipped and grown covered in vines. The marble carvings of the title of the deity only retain the words "health" and "herb", and the herbs that can be used for illness grow around the altar and are seldom cut. Leon learned it from a long time ago as a child, and he never stopped. Some might consider the routine to be a nuisance, but Leon enjoys the routine, singing hymns in the temple at noon, brushing out the lion's mane on the god's head after his singing, tending and snipping the herbs that grow beautifully around the marble, blue eyes stuck to the beauty of the forgotten god that only his family tended to, relishing in the statue's beauty.

How lonely they must be.

At sunset, he lights the four candles at the foot of the statue by the altar, lowering himself onto his knees, whispering a prayer passed down for centuries in his house, eyes closed and heart still as he chants. The words are to come from the heart, he recalls. So, he reads them

Typically, he finishes the prayer and the four candles go out on their own.

This time, however, he finishes and the candles stay lit.

He wonders if he should try again to pray, but as he opens his mouth to start again, two snakes slither from both sides, curling up the body of the statue as a comet passes in the sky, and Leon is startled to the ground. He falls backward, watching as a glow of gold erupts from the statue as the snakes turn into the same marble, and the altar cracks, tablet of the title in the front sliding down as a shadow is revealed.

The body.

A body.

Someone opens their eyes from the inside of the altar.

You open your eyes from the inside of the altar.

"Where... am I?"

Leon would recognize that face anywhere, and at that moment, all he can do is thank the skies above for what he is about to be graced with.

"Oh, sweet heavens of health." He whispers. "Do forgive this mere human for what he is about to do."

He takes a step closer, offering his hand to you, his veil sliding down his hair.

"Welcome to earth, dearest deity. This mere worshipper greets you."

You blink down at Leon slowly, tilting your head.

"The heavens greet you, kind mortal. Pray tell, what you wished to receive from a minor god of healing?"

"Nothing." He breathes.

God, if he could keep worshipping you for the rest of his life, then he would be fine.

"Nothing at all, dearest deity."

You blink at him slowly once more, looking around the temple as you stare at the herbs. Leon notices the otherwordly glow that seems to emit from your body, and the color never seems to leave your skin. You glow the same shade as your complexion, crown of yellow on your head as you observe your surroundings, staring at Leon.

Leon does not know what you think. He can not know. How could he? He was not more than a mere worshipper who was taught to care for you eternally. Eternally to be your servant, never to dream of meeting you. You, who seemed to appear out of nowhere and cry gold and green, skin naked to the eye and touch. Touching you is out of the question, yet he holds his hand out to you. You seem to lack a reaction, still taking in your surroundings as Leon breathes. Breathing heavily. Heavy is his chest as he stares at you — it feels like a violation to be able to see you so up close.

"If I may?" He offers.

You take his hand, and Leon's heart lunges into his throat at your touch.

"Thank you."

Your voice flutters along with the wind as he pulls you out of the altar, and you stare around at the opened scenery.

"My temple has deteriorated."

"Yes." Leon whispers. "It is only my family left, you see."

"The blood of the temple's knights." You mumble. "I am grateful that your blood has stayed. I do not know what I would do had you not."

Leon nods slowly. "Do you... wish to do something?"

You glance at the garden that Leon tends to and the produce, blinking ever so slowly as you smile.

"Will you teach me to tend to the plants?"

"Do you wish for it?"

"I miss my roots." You blink slowly. "The plants miss me. My mortal body has lost itself."

"Then, if I may, I shall tend to them with you again?" Leon tilts his head.

You blink at him, staring into his eyes, past his soul and straight to his heart as he holds his breath. You tilt your head, and your eyes gloss over with a distant look, almost as though you were reminiscing of something. Instead, you nod slowly, blinking as you nod, eyes clearing up as you nod again. This time, you seem sure of it.

"Thank you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Leon mumbles.

Goodness, you're not good for the heart.

You let Leon guide you, his questions lingering in the air when you ask him of everything, needing to be guided and taught how to take care of certain things, and Leon wonders if he could truly do a good job. To worship you, he finds, is to treat you as glass is. When you ask him what to do, he tells you. You are clueless of certain things yet you know much more than he does. He does not understand this dynamic that he has gotten himself into. Teaching a god how to listen to human responses, how works work, and how gardening does.

When the sun rises in the morning, he places a singular peach onto the altar for the wildlife, and he offers you a peach that you have grown used to eating. You thank him with a slow nod, biting into it as he makes a breakfast in a larger than usual portion. He offers you an egg from his pan, but you shake your head, content with the peach in your hands. The juice sticks to your hands as you bite into it, and the fruit gets all over your chin, but you are happy, and even as Leon watches you eat, nearly missing his mouth with the fork, you seem content. Leon finishes his food only after you stare at the peach core left in your hand.

"Will this grow into a tree?"

"It will take a handful of years, but yes." He hums. "We can plant it with the rest of the peach trees in the garden."

You nod slowly.

"I shall go change. Please make yourself comfortable while I do, dearest deity."

You nod, looking around at the wildlife from the window, climbing out as your feet land in the grass, much more comfortable to you. The snakes in the garden slither around your calves, sitting there as you continue walking through the garden to find your temple, the medicinal herbs surrounding the altar looking dimmer than usual as you press your hand to them, the same golden glow restoring the herbs to their colors. You would have to bring a second peach to the altar in the morning from the trees.

"Will you be alright in these clothes?" Leon's changed into something easier to move in, finding you as you stare at the fallen tablet from the night before.

"It will be fine." You smooth your hand over the marble, blinking slowly as you frown. "Do you know what words were once written here?"

"I am afraid not." Leon's heart races in his chest, and you sigh.

"I have lost part of me." You glance at the eroded stone on certain words.

"If I may, I shall help you find it once more."

Leon teaches you the ropes of managing the farm, showing you the equipment and what meant fresh and not fresh. The herbs, you are familiar with, stopping Leon from pulling the rosemary because it was not at its prime, and nodding when Leon shows you how to ripen tomatoes despite them being orange. He shows you how to hide the strawberries from the birds and the indications that the blackberries were ready for harvest. The olive trees are shown to you with the peaches, and you snack on one as Leon hands you another.

In the afternoon, he shows you how to harvest the wheat and store the grain, showing you how to bake bread as you grind the grain into flour with Leon, pushing the till as you heave, falling to your knees once you have made enough for the bread of that night. You lay on the dirty stone for a minute, groaning as Leon packages the flour, holding a hand out for you as you gasp. You hold your hand up for a minute, catching your breath as you take it to get up.

"Do gods not labor?"

"What is there to labor over when the worshippers send you food?"

"Do gods disappear once they are forgotten?"

"Yes." You dust off your clothes, humming. "I have only lived this long because of the care of your blood."

You help Leon season, not much help when it comes to cooking or preparing dishes, and Leon tries to have you keep your hands off of the majority of things, only letting you tend to the herbs and spices, the olives prepared with the oil as you dip the bread in it to try it. You have not much of a reaction, sitting down at the table as Leon serves you the salad, a smaller fish prepared for him.

You settle with the salad, another peach given to you for dessert, biting on it as Leon washes up, cleaning and drying the silver with a rag as you stare at the peach in hand. The green is a little jarring, and you appreciate that Leon picks the riper ones for your temple. Yet, when you bite down, it's sweet, nectar staining your chin as Leon disposes of the peach peels, offering you a cup of water alongside some honey.

You accept it, thanking him with a nod as you go back to the peach, hands stained with sugar.

"Dearest deity." Leon starts. "If I may?"

"Feel free to." You nod, licking your fingers.

"Do you know why you have returned to being human?"

"I'm not quite sure." You look out past the windows, eyes distant.

Leon wonders if he's struck a nerve, but he doesn't have much time to think over it.

For the first time, Leon dreams and remembers.

He's in a field of grass, your head in his lap, closed eyes and blissed smile on your face as he runs his hands through your hair. He's bigger than he is in reality, lion's skin on his head, his fingers rough from what he assumes to be the blade. He pushes your hair out of your face, blinking down at you slowly. The green of the grass creases under your body, and Leon thinks there is a strange sense of domesticity with the way that you trust him so much.

His mouth moves on its own. "Dearest, are you not uncomfortable?"

"Surely not while in your lap." You peek up at him, smile on your face as you beam. "You are comfortable, beloved."

The daffodils in the field are pulled, Leon's fingers clumsy with the stems as he tries to make you a crown, weaving in the green into the braid as you let the breeze tickle your nose. He feels his hands are rough from some sort of labor, and his body feels weary. Yet, there is a fullness in his chest as he finishes the crown, placing it on your head as you open an eye to stare up at him.

"How do I look?"

"Dazzling, darling." He hums, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. "You look dazzling."

Leon wakes from the dream in his bed, sitting up and gasping as one does, and he stares at the rising sun and the calling rooster. He rests his head in his palms, groaning at the way his heart refuses to slow down. He hears the sound of the door opening in the back, and he assumes that you've gone off to the well to wash up for the day. He assumes it's a routine for you much like the four peaches he places at the altar, so he gets up, bed covers kicked off as he makes his bed. The peaches have ripened after being left out for the night, and he takes the basket with him, offering you one on the way before taking the other three.

You bite on the peach and follow him to the altar, watching as he leaves the basket. You stare at the peach in your hand and place it back into the basket, teeth marks visible in the one you had placed there, but Leon doesn't mention anything.

Then comes breakfast, eggs for him, an assortment of fruit for you.

Despite your lack of diet, it seems you do not complain. Perhaps your body abides by different rules when compared to his.

He ponders over the idea of insanity when he turns red from eye contact alone. Truly, you are dazzling, and unfortunately, Leon is not immune to such beauty despite staring at your statue each morning. Heavens, he's screwed.

"Is there anything you need, dearest deity?" He offers.

"Not much." You hum. "Do we have other fruit?"

"There is an orchard in the east." Leon hums. "Would you like more fruit?"

You nod.

The orchard is due for some tending. Leon only ever went for olives to have in his meals and peaches for offerings, so it wasn't surprising that the figs were eaten from the inside out alongside the apples and pears. You offer to help, palms held out as you argue that you could technically restore them to their prime. Leon has you rest, pulling out the figs and bad fruit into one basket, tossing the good ones to another.

"Are there any fruits you'd rather not eat?"

You ponder over his words, shaking your head.

Leon finds you familiar. You sit at the corner of the orchard, trailing after him with a basket of your own fruit, and he finds it familiar. You yourself are familiar to him. He has no memory of you, but he can not argue that it is because he has never met you either. He no longer remembers the faces of his own parents. All he knows is the ritual of worship, the routine of faith that he has grown used to. All he remembers about himself is that, now that he thinks about it.

The rest of the night passes in a blur, and Leon has not much of a choice when it comes to resting at night.

When he closes his eyes, he's unsurprised at what he is met with.

It's another dream.

A lion's robe is still on Leon's body this time, and he feels significantly bigger than he is in present. His heart does not beat as harshly as it does in reality, and with each step he takes, he becomes increasingly aware that he is taller than he is in reality. The garden of his home is replaced with a marble home of his own, and he walks through the ruins that have been replaced with a garden in present day. His steps are heavy as he stops in front of the temple, watching as there's a golden hue from the altar — noticeably larger than the one in present.

Leon steps behind you, eyes glued to the words on the tablet that is now restored, frowning.

god of health, herb, home. the lion's beloved

"Are you returning?"

Leon cannot control his mouth, but he stares at the way you tense at his voice.

"My time on earth is short." You turn around to face him, voice quiet as you close your eyes.

Leon's heart rattles in his chest from the way you refuse to look at him. "Can you stay longer?"

"Beloved" You whisper. "I ca—"

"Will you stay longer?" He whispers, voice shaking as he asks. His heart races at being called beloved, but his chest contorts painfully as the man whose body he resides in.

"I cannot." You open your eyes, heart shattering in your ears as you catch his tears. "Oh, beloved, please do not—"

Leon wants to stay, but he watches as the man turns his back, stepping away from the altar as the sound of bells chime to indicate your disappearance.

Instead, when he turns around again, all that remains is a shrunken altar and the temple from the modern day. Leon has what he was holding prior to entering into the past — three peaches in a small basket. You are still behind him, white of your eyes the only visible part of them as your irises cloud over and Leon stares at you. A flash from the past for him, a flash from your life for you. He wonders just who that might have been.

He looks around, catching the fact that you are behind him.

When you return, you stare into nothing, pupils wide as the black of your eyes engulf the entirety of the color of your eye, and Leon stands there, unsure of what to do, blinking slowly as you close your eyes and open them again and again. You blink again, and again, and again, and again. You try to break yourself from the trance— from what Leon can tell.

"Dearest deity." Leon whispers. "Are you alright?"

You blink at Leon again, exhaling as you grimace.

"I will be. Let us drop off the fruit for my herbs first." You take the basket from him, fruit placed on the altar as you bless the peaches.

"How does it work?"

"They live off of the water and juice." You squeeze the fruit, Leon watching as the liquid trickles down your fist onto the plants, the red herbs brightening up nearly immediately. The yellow follows, and the green last. You take the scissors to cut three of the herbs, two of each herb, juice-stained fingers sticking to the plants as you place them into the basket.

Leon nods as you hand him the herbs, thanking you.

Food is simple today. It is typically a loaf and some legumes, occasionally fish if the two of you decide to head out to fish at the lake. Leon has grown used to a life like this, and you make do without eating fish, so Leon goes out less and less, growing legumes with you as you learn from him, forming an appetite for fruit as well, snacking on blackberries as he picks at the strawberries that he hides from the birds. You bite down on certain ones, slipping a piece past Leon's lips as he places a cucumber in your basket, thanking you quietly as he checks out the lettuce.

"What do you want for dinner?"

You glance at the lettuce and the berries, tilting your head.

"...salad?"

"Fruit salad? I should retrieve some olives as well, then." Leon holds his hand out for the basket, and you give him your hand instead.

Leon does a double take, blinking at your hand and then at you, and you offer him a shy smile.

"If this is alright?"

"More than alright, dearest deity." Leon smiles. "I am honored you would initiate it."

Leon finds that you are much more affectionate now that time has passed. He does not keep track of the days, time something he no longer holds, sharing dishes and bites with you when he can, showing you the rest of the garden that he leaves to tend on its own. Leon understands something. Whoever he is in his dreams, you left. Whoever you are in the dream, you did not wish to leave. He understands not much from it. The heart of whose body he was in his dreams was scarred when you left.

It hurt him to think about it, so he busies himself with the sand between his toes.

"We had a beach?"

"We have a sea." Leon stares out at the horizon. "I wonder if the lobsters are ready for harvest."

"You can eat those?"

Leon nods slowly, laughing as you furrow your brows.

"How does... that work." You pause. "You crack the head?"

"You pop the head off, and you pull out the meat from the whole tail."

You blink twice.

"May I... watch you prepare it?"

"With pleasure." He smiles. "Shall we go catch one?"

You watch Leon ditch the top, skin out for the world to see, and Leon feels a little embarrassed being so bare before you, but you don't seem to mind, watching as he takes a trident.

"You pierce them?"

"They don't move as fast. Perhaps I have grown used to the water."

The blue of the ocean is pretty. Leon still isn't over the beauty of it, and it always surprises him when he dives for crustaceans, trident heavy against his arm as he pierces through the shells, three tucked into the bag net he carries, paddling back to the surface as he wonders how he had been able to hold his breath for so long. The question fades just as quickly, eyes meeting yours as you blink, doe-eyed, eyes wide as you seem to drink in every part of his skin.

"Dearest deity?"

"Apologies." You hide your face, sinking into the ground with embarassment as Leon laughs, letting the net fall into the sand as he crouches in front of you, hair pushed back, saltwater still dripping from his hair and skin. He watches as your eyes dart to his chest and then abdomen, thoughts written all over your face as you hide again.

"I shall dress again."

"There's no need." You manage, still hiding your face. "I... prefer the way you are."

Leon feels an arrow pierce his heart, ears ringing as he processes what you've just said. He's sure he's turned red like the tomatoes once ripe, and he hides his face in his knees, shaking slightly as he processes your bluntness. Dare he say it, he liked it.

Though, it would be his grace if you were to fall for him. It was only a given that he would worship you.

He doesn't feel as though he is in a position where he could truly get to profess his love to you first.

At night, you request of him to tuck you into bed, pout on your lips as he sits by your bed, letting you squeeze his hand with a gentle grab, watching as you drift off to sleep.

He wonders if you need sleep truly — considering you are a deity and all.

Though, Leon does.

The third time Leon dreams, he is no longer in a lion's skin.

He feels younger, white on his body, blue brooch around his neck and blouse on his skin. There is a veil on his head, and it seems as though he is in the temple of yours once more. He does not understand this quite that much. It seems as though he is being offered up for some kind of ritual. It is some sort of marriage, he assumes. Blue eyes and golden hair, cerulean brooch and white blouse, ruffled bow and laced veil, Leon truly feels that he is being offered up as a groom rather than a servant. He wonders if the person he has possessed is aware of it.

His body moves on its own, veil over his head shifting as he looks down, standing before what he assumes as the head priest. The priest places a crown of... herbs on his head, and he is placed on the altar, some sort of glow occurring around him as he forces his eyes open. The veil sticks to his head as he notices the priest and all their followers are gone when he opens his eyes. Instead, he catches a glance of you above him, head tilted as you blink down at him.

"You're quite young, sacrifice." You grin, teeth visible. "What might your name be?"

Nevermind the fact that Leon's heart is racing a thousand pes an hour, his heart is about to leap out of his chest. Yet, Leon is curious of the man's name, but he finds it surprising that he chokes out his own name.

"Leon, dearest deity." He whispers. "I am your... groom."

"How rare that they would send a groom rather than a servant." You tilt your head at him. "Well, do make yourself at home. We've got plenty of plants and fruit."

Leon steps down from the altar, stepping on a piece of marble before taking a tumble, the tablet breaking under his foot as he blinks.

"I'm sorry." He gapes.

You raise a brow, mumbling to yourself as you tap your chin.

"Oh, dear." You laugh. "I'll restore it sometime. Please take care of the garden while I do."

Leon's dream is far longer than he is comfortable. He wonders how much time has passed in reality in the dream, and he learns to take care of the garden that resembles the one he tends to each night. There is a lake in the back where he fishes, and he learns to cook meals for the two of you, typically baking bread and making soup. He learns that you prefer the best harvest of peaches, but you share them with him, teaching him how to make crisp and how to cook the oats until they are crispy. You adore peaches with or without honey and spices. It is why the peach tree was so large in the orchard.

During the time, he learns that gods do in fact visit the earth outside of their domains. You return in time for dinner every single day, and you tell him of what has happened recently with the temple over his meals. He likes this life. At one point, the worshippers send him the very lion skin he wore in his previous dream. The connection between your domain and reality is created through prayer. Not faithfulness, number.

You complete a number of miracles, and in return, your worshippers increase in number, which, in turn, grants you access back home.

When Leon wakes, his heart is racing in his chest for no reason, blinking at the knife in hand and cutting board on the counter and then at the tomatoes.

"Kind mortal?"

"My apologies." Leon sighs, going back to cutting the veggies. "It seems I had gotten lost in myself."

Not reality. Leon is not in reality. Instead, he has been stuck in an endless cycle of immortality, and without you around, the age had worn him down until all he remembered was to worship you. If your temple was run down in your domain, he can not imagine how ruined your temple in reality was. Leon has become immortal from partaking of the food of the gods. The peaches he offered to the gods was for you, and the herbs he cut was granting him immortality in return.

Leon Kennedy had lived for so long that he forgot this was not his home, it was yours.

The immortality from the herbs had been eating his mind from the inside out.

He wonders if you remember, but he doesn't ask.

Instead, he asks you if you would like to go fishing with him, fishing rod in hand.

You tilt your head at the rod, nodding as he takes everything. The pond spawns all sorts of fish, now that he thinks about it. The expensive fish he used to dream of owning back when he was in reality, the fish that he had when his family had a nice harvest, just about everything. It feels strange to remember that this is your home and not his, but he doesn't dwell too much on it. Instead, he sits at the dock, holding out the fishing rod as you sit next to him, basket of strawberries in your lap as you eat them.

"Do you eat fish?" The answer is no, yet Leon finds himself asking anyway.

"No." You hum. "I can live off of produce."

You take a bite of the strawberries almost as if to make a point, pointing at the fishing line with a kick of your legs as Leon reels in the fish, pulling it out of the water with a ceremonious thud.

"Good job." You hum. "I didn't know we had catfish."

Leon raises a brow at you. "What else do we have?"

You shrug. "I don't know much. My followers only ever send me peaches now. Not that I do not appreciate it."

Leon finds it strange that there happens to be both a lake and an ocean, the two connected by a small river, a waterfall that collapses into the ocean, and the sea leads into nothing. It seems that you knew, but you never mentioned it in any way. If this domain was yours, then he found it intriguing that you had been offered enough fish that there would form an ocean. The offerings given seem to not expire, and the ecosystem seems to reproduce and go on as it would in reality.

He wonders if reality is the right word to describe his world, though. Perhaps earth would have made for a better word. He wonders what is happening on earth. Maybe this was some sort of Mount Olympus... or whatnot. He doubts it is. He would have recognized living on an actual mountain.

Well, at the very least, fishing is quite fun.

When he pulls in the second catch of the day, he decides that it's enough.

"What do you want for dinner?"

Leon wonders if he should try making pie in one of the vessels.

You tap your chin. "Something baked sounds good."

"Oh, I'm sure it does." Leon mumbles. "Pie?"

You nod. "Shall I help?"

He shakes his head.

The more Leon thinks of it, the more he realizes that he's always been making portions for two. It was embedded into his soul. When he had leftovers, it was much easier to feed it to the poultry in the back and the pigs. Now, that second portion had a reason. He had always found it bizzare. It was because he used to cook with his mother for his father, not the fact that he had been cooking for the two of you for such a long time.

When Leon sends you to bed at night, he watches you for a few moments longer, wondering if this was something he had done in the past.

He does not dream this time.

So, when he wakes in the morning and you have a pear in hand with a knife in the other, he blinks at you.

"Dearest?"

"Teach me how to cut fruit?"

Leon wonders if you were the one to teach him first, but the more he thinks back on the dream, the more he wonders just whether or not you had been eating in the time that you lacked a sacrifice. Would sacrifice be the correct word? The more he considers it, the more he thinks of himself as a gift from the priest rather than a sacrifice. Is that egoistical? Perhaps it is. It is more of a blessing on his end to be able to stay with you for so long. The herbs he had each morning must have been keeping him nice and healthy despite his time in your realm.

He may have forgotten, but it seems that his body had remembered.

He teaches you how to hold the knife, cut by cut showing you how to peel the fruit, and you decide that peeling half of it and then eating the other half after spitting out the core was the better decision. He finds that that ties into what he remembers about you as well.

It seems he remembers now.

Leon understands that you expect a singular peach and then three more at the altar, but he does not do so this fateful day. There is something he must check, and someone he must attempt to understand. There was no way you did not know. You were not as foolish as to not. It had been in the way you looked at him. He knew, from the very beginning. You knew perhaps, as well, that when you had opened your eyes from the inside of the altar, you had been observing him and not your surroundings.

You had been observing your lover who had forgotten you, not the home you resided in.

"You are home, dearest deity." Leon offers. "You need not the peaches anymore."

You blink at Leon, hesitation bleeding through you as you pause to breathe.

"Since when have you recalled?"

"A while back." Leon mumbles. "I was not certain if you wished for me to bring it up."

You blink at Leon, sitting yourself back on the altar, the lack of glowing visible now that everyone has forgotten about you. You will no longer be able to return to the world that you had left to. You would be stuck tending to the garden that you had started long before Leon joined you here. At the very least, he would be able to stay forever with you, only needing to tend to the herbs and grow them. Yet, he wonders where all of the maidens you had been offered so long ago ended up.

You stare at the broken tablet, laughing embarrassingly as you smile at Leon.

"Truly reminds you the first time we met, huh?"

"Yes." He rests the empty basket on the altar, taking it from your hand as he smooths the rusted words over. "God of health, herbs, home."

"The lion's beloved." You whisper back. "I missed you."

"I know." He mumbles, setting it to the side as he lets you sob into his chest.

"I missed you." You gasp. "You... you forgot me. I expected it, but I had been in the fabric between reality and my realm that I was sure you would stop building my way home, but you remembered the prayers. You recalled the words you had grown used to prior to your sacrifice, and I... you found my way home."

"I'm sorry, dearest." He whispers. "I had forgotten. I have been around for far too long. I am sorry I had forgotten to welcome you home."

There is a certain beauty that comes with remembering, Leon finds. In the centuries that he had forgotten all about you, his heart had somehow remembered, adorning you in the lion's mane until he forgot it was his first, singing hymns he knew you cherished from the time he had spent with you, leaving you peaches because you had always shared the best harvest of them with him, sneaking in that you adored the taste of the nectar on your tongue. His mind had forgotten, but his heart had not, burying you into the depths of his consciousness until he would remember you again one day.

His hands have grown rough with a different kind of labor over the years, and he has lost much of the large muscle he had arrived with from his way of living, but the feeling of your skin is still familiar to his touch.

Right.

His mind could forget, but his soul could never.

"You're making me a crisp later." You huff.

"Of course." He laughs. "Anything else?"

"And I want a kiss for all the years you forgot about me for."

"That can be made up with the life ahead."

And to seal the promise, Leon kisses you, hands gentle on your skin, clarity restored.

[d-romanov]

lazy mornings

[ 504 words ]

[ natasha romanoff x teen!widow!reader ]

you're settling in well at the tower, and have been using that comfort to catch up on some late morning wake-ups.

notes:

i live! back with a short fluffy drabble as apology for disappearing. i'm trying to get back into it so please send me prompts 🤞

You felt incredibly childish in the moment, but Natasha said you deserved to be a little childish in your new life, so you supposed it was okay.

Even if childish meant crawling bleary eyed out of bed at nearly 10am with a stuffed bear gifted to you by Natasha under your arm.

Nothing about the Red Room could be considered lazy, lazy got you killed. But in the tower, most Saturday's were spent sleeping in or hanging out around the tower. It was a shock at first, seeing Earth's Mightiest Heroes in their pajamas at noon watching cartoons.

(Bucky had been the biggest shock, and it had been very hard to not laugh at the sight of his pink bunny slippers.)

It was an adjustment for sure, going from the rigorous routine of the Red Room to chaotic life in the tower. Natasha had been your rock in that time, waking consistently and giving you a familiar, albeit far more casual, routine.

Now you've been living with the Avengers for nearly a year, and you were well settled in your new life, happy to indulge in simple comforts like a late morning.

And it was often those late mornings were spent catching an extra hour or two of sleep in Natasha's room.

Natasha has been your rock since the beginning when she freed you. She gave you a home, stability, and love that you'd missed out on your whole life. As time went on, Natasha became more like your mother, which she made official when she adopted you a few months ago.

You had her to thank for where you were today, and you loved her for it.

Which brought you to now, sluggishly knocking on her door and hearing her beckon you in.

In another life you'd hate to be so predictable, but in this one your heart warms at the sight of Natasha, sitting up and moving the blankets to have you slide in next to her.

She huffs a laugh at the way you immediately curl up against her side, bear tucked under your arm across her waist. "How'd you sleep, детка?"

You mumble in response and shut your eyes, content to cuddle up to your mom while sleep clings to you. You feel her arm slide against your back and the TV's volume turn down a few notches.

"You and Wanda stayed up late again, huh?" You feel your face heat when you press further against her, causing her to laugh softly.

Natasha settles while she holds you tightly to her side, and you let yourself fully relax in her hold, knowing you're safe with her.

"Go back to sleep, малышка, I'll wake you up later and we'll go to that cafe on 3rd for breakfast. Sound good?"

You nod as you feel yourself drifting off, lulled to sleep by the smell of coffee and the feeling of Natasha's fingers drifting through your hair. For a moment you wonder, and not for the first time, how you got so lucky.

[youunravelme]

to all the girls you've loved before part six

author's note: okay......so i can explain. i know it's been like four months, but i swear it wasn't on purpose and tbh i lost track of time. so here's it is after months of waiting. i promise i didn't forget about it, i just had other projects i was working on (like the 30k words i wrote for two separate fics) that really took up most of my inspiration. there is a time jump in this, but not a huge one. but enough excuses! here's to part six (which is 9.4k words, i figured y'all deserved it)!

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, fear of falling in love, moving into angst city baby

day forty-five

you woke up in an unfamiliar place. disoriented, you looked around, noting that it was still dark outside. there was a weight around your waist that was familiar in the sense that you'd felt that sensation before, but unfamiliar in that it smelled like someone new. your heart started racing at the feeling, until you recognized it for what it was: an arm.

your heart rate settled for a moment until you blinked and realized that while you were at home, you were in a different room and considering there was no crib, you could only make one leap in logic:

it was mat's room.

jason's words came back to haunt you almost immediately.

he'll get bored of you eventually. people always do.

your hands felt clammy as you slowly slid out of mat's hold. your knees were shaking. the air was too thick to breathe evenly, but you knew if you started hyperventilating in mat's room, he might wake up and freak out with you.

so you took some shaky breaths and then booked it back to your room.

you stared up at the ceiling for two hours until ella woke up. immediately, you got up, thankful for a distraction from the conflict brewing inside your chest.

when you opened your bedroom door, mat was standing across the hall in his own doorway. his hair was disheveled and his white tee shirt was askew, but it was clear he had the same thought as you.

the two of you stared at each other until one of ella's cries snapped you both back to reality.

"i'll get her," you said quickly before darting into ella's room and ignoring the feeling of his eyes on you. they burned into your back like someone was steaming the clothes hanging off your body.

in the crib, ella was kicking her legs and flapping her arms as much as her sleep sack would allow. and for a moment, you forgot the momentary discomfort at the sight of her gummy smile.

"good morning, sweet girl," you crooned. you reached into the crib and unzipped her sleep sack before picking her up and into your arms. she immediately snuggled into your chest, tucking her head under your chin.

you changed her diaper before heading out to the kitchen where mat was cooking eggs.

you wouldn't look him in the eye, just focused on getting ella into the high chair. mat walked past you, putting her plate of fruit on her high chair tray. it was the closest you'd been since that morning in his bed. and while it was technically innocent, it didn't feel innocent.

as much fun as he was, you'd forgotten that mat was still technically your boss, a friend too, but your boss nonetheless. and sleeping in his bed, regardless of how much you believed you needed it, was a mistake.

you couldn't lose this job, lose ella, lose sydney, but you didn't think you could handle losing mat. not entirely.

so you'd settle for losing the smaller moments of closeness. you'd stay professional with him if only for the sake of keeping your heart and income safe.

god, you hated thinking of him just as an income, but jason's words rang in your head like a small town church bell at noon. was he just waiting to sleep with you? was he just taking pity on you?

it was too early to get a headache.

you sat in a chair next to ella and checked your phone for any messages when a plate was placed in front of you with eggs made in the way you loved and a piece of toast.

"it was all i could manage without giving you food poisoning," mat said sheepishly.

you said a quiet thanks and turned your attention back to your phone, missing the way mat's face contorted into a frown.

"what do you have planned for today?" he asked, taking the seat across from you.

you shrugged, not feeling too keen on going out in public after what happened the night before. you weren't stupid, logically you knew new york was a large city and the odds of running into natalie or jason were slim, but you saw them last night and you weren't too eager to chance repeating the same thing.

"i think we'll just take it easy, stay home and hang out," you said. the words what about you were sitting on the tip of your tongue, but you kept your mouth shut.

mat hummed as he took a bite of his toast. "i'm gonna go work out with tito before practice, and then i think we have some interviews or media to do," he said.

you nodded but said nothing. when ella finished her breakfast, which looked like her tossing eggs onto the floor, you scooped the plate up and hurried back into the kitchen, excited to do something more than just sitting in a room with mat. you started washing the plate, not even thinking about the dishwasher three feet away.

"i can get that," he said, reaching around you and grabbing the plate straight out of your hands. he placed in in the dishwasher before grabbing the broom and sweeping up the eggs on the floor as he cooed at his daughter.

your heart lurched in your chest at the sight, at the view of him being so gentle and doting. you cleared your throat and dusted your clean hands on your pants to keep them from doing something stupid like pulling mat to you and asking him to hold you like he did last night.

"i hate to rush off," mat started as he placed the broom back in its corner and washed his hands. "but i told tito i'd actually be on time today." he got ella out of her high chair and kissed her chubby cheeks. "dada loves you ella bean," he said before approaching you.

you did your best to prepare for eye contact. but the bottom line was as soon as you met his eyes, you couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

he was the prettiest man you'd ever seen, with an even bigger heart.

you snapped out of it when ella reached for you, focusing on how her downy brown hair was growing longer, instead of how she was a complete carbon copy of her father.

for a second, you almost felt bad for her birth mother, nine months of being pregnant, all that labor, only for ella to look just like mat.

but then you remembered that same woman dropped her daughter off with him with just a note, and any lingering feelings of empathy and pity immediately vanished.

you took ella and scampered off to her room, ready to get out of mat's presence.

the two of you were playing with some of her toys when you heard mat call out a goodbye before the door shut behind him.

it wasn't until the lock clicked that you could finally breathe.

day fifty-five

"are you coming to the game tonight?" sydney asked over the phone.

you had your cellphone tucked between your shoulder and your ear as you prepped ella's lunch for the day. the baby in question was babbling to herself when she wasn't stuffing her face with the cheerios you gave her until you could give her lunch.

"uh..." you hesitated, trying to play it off like you were too focused on mashing up bananas.

"oh come on," sydney said. "i feel like i haven't seen you in forever."

"you saw me last week."

"that was seven days ago. you didn't even come to the game earlier this week. what was that about?"

the words were on the tip of your tongue, the truth dangled in front of you like low hanging fruit, but you couldn't get yourself to say it. not in his home, not when he would be getting home shortly, not in front of ella, even though she would never be able to repeat it.

sydney said your name. "are you there?"

you sighed through the receiver. "i'll be there."

"great! i'll pick you up!" she said before hanging up.

you and ella ate in silence until mat came through the front door. ella immediately squealed and threw her bananas in the air, some of which landed in her hair, other pieces ended up on the floor.

"ella bean!" mat smiled as he dropped his things on the ground.

he walked over and you shot up out of your seat to walk into the kitchen under the guise of grabbing paper towels to clean up her mess.

"how was she?" mat asked, taking over your job in supervising his daughter eating her lunch.

you shrugged even though he couldn't see you. "she's been fine. it's been a normal day."

"are you coming to the game tonight?" he asked. truthfully, he'd asked you earlier that morning, or maybe the word begged was a better word to use. you could tell he was disappointed that you hadn't gone to his game earlier that week, but he was never going to pressure you.

"yeah, we're riding with sydney."

"do you have anything to wear?" he asked.

your back was turned, so you didn't see the hopeful gleam in his eye. so when you shrugged and said "sydney said she would get me a shirt," you didn't see the way his shoulders sagged and how the corners of his mouth turned down.

when you turned back around, he was back to looking happy.

you started cleaning up the banana off the floor while mat handed ella her water cup.

"she takes a nap right after lunch, right?"

you looked up at him to find him already staring at you. his hazel eyes felt like they could see right through you, like they could tell you were pulling away and wanted to know why.

you nodded, rendered speechless by his gaze.

"i'll put her down, i've missed her." he booped her nose which made her immediately shriek and squeal. "i don't have to be at the arena for another two hours, so you're free to do whatever."

you expected as much, after his first long roadie, mat wanted to do everything concerning ella. considering he got back earlier that week before having a home game two days later, he hadn't been as present as he would like.

and the result was always a clingy mat.

"sounds good," you said.

maybe you'd text sydney to hang out at a coffee shop for the time being. or maybe you'd lock yourself in your room under the guise of napping while you stared at the ceiling and wondered how you got into this situation.

as ella finished up, the idea hit you immediately.

erin, the woman who you nannied for first.

when mat put ella down, you snuck out the front door and across the hall, praying she would be home. you knocked and waited, fully expecting to turn around and go back to mat's apartment.

you stood outside for all of five minutes before turning back around and heading back into mat's apartment.

"everything okay?" mat asked when you walked back inside the apartment. he was just coming from putting ella down if having one of the baby monitors in his hand was any indication.

"yeah, i'm fine," you said. "i'm just gonna go lay down for a little while."

"oh," he replied. "thought we could watch one of those reality shows you like. felt like i haven't seen you in awhile."

you gave him a small smile. "rain check? i'm really tired."

mat smiled back, though it wasn't as confident as it usually was. if you looked hard enough, you could see the edges of it shake, like he was doing his best to keep up appearances.

but you headed back to your room before you could do something stupid like apologize for the emotional distance and ask for forgiveness.

you got got into bed and stared at the ceiling, only taking your gaze off of it to turn your baby monitor on. you weren't sure how long you were in that borderline comatose state, just repeating jason's cutting words in your head, when ella woke up.

you got up when she cried, fully expecting mat to be gone by then, considering it had been an hour and a half. but you walked into ella's room to see him pulling her out of her crib in his game day suit.

and it should've been illegal to see him snuggle and kiss her cheeks. to witness him cooing back at her as he changed her diaper. you leaned against the door frame, unable to keep your heart from soaring at the sight. just to think, a month and a half ago, he was terrified, now he was changing a diaper like he'd done it his entire life.

he didn't notice you until he turned around and nearly jumped ten feet in the air at the sight of you standing there. "jesus fucking christ," he said. "you scared me."

you couldn't help yourself. "you don't say," you quipped with a grin tugging at the corners of your lips.

mat closed the distance between the two of you and passed off ella. "i hate to run, but--"

"you don't have to explain yourself to me," you said. "we'll see you later."

he nodded and booked it out of the room, but not before pressing a kiss to the side of ella's head.

you heard the door lock behind you a beat later.

you and ella spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around before it was time to start getting ready for the game. you had her dressed in her barzal jersey and a coat while you slapped on a pair of jeans and a tank top, waiting for sydney to bring you the shirt you'd end up wearing.

it was a quarter to six when sydney knocked on the door. she had her daughters with her. winnie immediately went to see ella, who was sitting in her playpen with one of her toys in her mouth.

"you look cute," sydney commented before tossing the shirt at you. without even thinking about it, you tugged the shirt over your head and threw on the jacket you had laid out on the couch.

"so do you," you replied while slinging the diaper bag over your shoulder. you quickly scooped ella up and looked at sydney. "you ready?"

she nodded as the two of you got three kids out to her suv. you had ella in one arm, her car seat in the other, with her diaper bag weighing heavily on your shoulder.

fifteen minutes had passed by the time you got all the girls in the car and strapped in yourselves. you thought everything was normal until sydney turned the music on a little louder and looked at you from the corner of her eye.

"what's going on with you and m-a-t," she spelled out his name probably as a precaution to prevent winnie from picking up any details.

you froze, but tried to play it off. "what do you mean?"

sydney rolled her eyes. "don't play dumb. you asked me for a shirt to wear tonight instead of raiding his closet like you usually do. you didn't go to the game earlier this week under some flimsy excuse."

you sighed, knowing you had been caught.

but sydney wasn't done.

"not to mention, m-a-t asked me what happened at the bar because you'd been distant ever since and hadn't talked to him about it." sydney sighed. "i'm not mad," she said. "i just want to know what's going on with you, i thought things were going well. you two seemed..."

you looked over at the blonde. "seemed like what?"

she shrugged. "just thought you two were a good fit is all."

you groaned. "syd--"

"but we don't have to talk about it, i just think you need to have a conversation with him sooner rather than later."

whatever you had to say was cut off by winnie screaming out the lyrics of baby shark.

the five of you arrived with an hour left until the puck drop. thankfully, the wags rented a suite which meant you didn't have to contend with a huge crowd and ella didn't have to feel confined to just one seat the entire night.

grace along with the other wags greeted you and ella with grace offering to take ella from you in exchange for a margarita, an offer you couldn't turn down.

when the boys came out for warmups, you went with sydney and her daughters and ella down to the ice. ella fought the headphones on her head, she kept reaching for them but you had to pull her little hands away so she wouldn't hurt her ears.

it took a few seconds for matt martin to spot the five of you before he was skating over and waving at his daughters and wife. he smiled at you and ella, tapping the glass once before continuing his warm ups. it was seconds later when your mat showed up with a big smile on his face. ella shrieked, and though the sound was lost in the ruckus of the arena, mat looked happier.

your eyes met and the noise died down, even if it was for a brief moment.

you okay? he mouthed.

you nodded and gave him your most convincing smile. it seemed to do the trick because he was beaming back at you as he skated away backwards, eyes locked on yours.

you turned away and caught sydney staring with a smirk. and while she didn't say anything, you could almost hear her train of thought.

when the game finally started, you were all back in the suite. ella was clinging to you, refusing even the idea of being held by someone else. you couldn't blame her, it was getting close to her bedtime and she was always clingy around that time.

you did your best to pay attention to the puck, to the other players on the ice, but your eyes kept finding 13 whether he was on the bench or the ice. he kept glancing around the ice, probably following the puck like you should be, and occasionally talking to his teammates.

you turned when someone nudged you. grace was standing there with a cup of ice water in her hands. "do you wanna sit?" she asked. "i know your arm is getting tired." you smiled and nodded thankfully, following her over to a pair of seats.

she let you sit in silence for just a moment before she started talking. "are you okay? you seem lost in thought tonight."

part of you wanted to be annoyed with the constant interrogation. no one had ever asked you this many times if you were alright. but that thought alone had your heart lurching.

no one had ever checked on you this many times like sydney, grace, and mat had. it was an unusual feeling, and one that made your heart beat faster in your chest while also making your stomach turn.

"i've just got a lot on my mind," you said, hoping the answer would suffice.

grace nodded, like she could recognize when it wasn't worth the effort to keep pestering. "if you ever need someone to talk to, i'm here. i know running into an ex is never fun."

you kept a straight face even though grace hit the nail on the head.

the game continued on with the islanders winning 6-2. but you had been so out of it, if anyone asked, you wouldn't be able to tell them who the isles played against.

you made your way down to the locker rooms with ella sleeping against your shoulder and the diaper bag slung over the other shoulder. you would've put her in the car seat, but after an earlier attempt ended in her crying and screaming for ten minutes before she fell back asleep, you decided to just hold her. grace had the car seat in one hand so you wouldn't have to carry it while holding winnie's hand with her other one so sydney could carry her diaper bag and her youngest.

the three of you waited with the other wags, making small talk amongst yourselves like you had all night.

anders came out first and kissed his wife before greeting everyone else. matt came out shortly after with casey. his attention was immediately drawn to winnie who ran into his legs with zero hesitation.

you waited for ten minutes before your mat came out with his game day suit on and wet hair. it felt as familiar as your mother's homemade cooking.

he smiled when he saw you, anything anthony was telling him didn't matter anymore.

"what'd ya think?" he asked.

"you played a good game."

his gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips then to the baby on your shoulder. his brows creased in confusion. "she didn't sleep in the car seat?"

"we tried, but she screamed and wouldn't settle unless i was holding her."

he nodded before adjusting the bag in his hand so he had a free one to scoop the car seat out of grace's grip. he nodded towards the diaper bag on your shoulder. "want me to carry that?"

"you saying i'm not strong enough to carry it by myself?" honestly, you were supposed to be keeping things professional between the two of you, but you just couldn't help but quip back at him. not when he made it so much fun.

mat rolled his eyes and took the bag off your shoulder and slung it over his own. "let's go home."

day sixty-eight

with christmas approaching, you were spending all of ella's nap times, packing your bags and wrapping presents. thankfully, you had the foresight to ship your family's christmas presents to your parents' house.

it was just a matter of wrapping mat and ella's presents.

you might've gone overboard with ella's presents, spending too much money on books and a stuffed animal you thought was cute. mat's present was different.

it was always gonna be different.

originally, you weren't even sure if you were going to get him a present considering you were trying to keep things professional. but sydney let it slip that his present to you was really thoughtful, so you immediately left the apartment as soon as mat got home.

in the end, the tie felt a little impersonal, but you added a note, heartfelt enough to not be insulting, but maintaining an air of professionalism. you kept the presents in your room, knowing mat wouldn't try to guess what you got him if it was out of sight.

mat had roped you into decorating for christmas, a tradition he hadn't honored since moving out to new york, but with it being ella's first christmas, he was going all out.

with ella's first christmas approaching, mat's family made plans to fly in two days before to attend the game. you made plans to leave the city so his family didn't have to get a hotel room and you could miss the christmas eve traffic.

your bags were packed by the door while mat got ella ready.

"who's driving you to the airport?" he asked at the dinner table the other night.

"no one," you said after you'd swallowed your food. "i'm taking an uber."

mat made a noise in the back of his throat. "no you're not. i'll drive you. what time do you have to be at the airport?"

"mat, it's not that serious."

"it is to me. so again, what time do you need to leave?"

mat came walking down the hallway with ella all bundled up against the cold weather that was raging just outside the window. snow flurries were falling down at a rapid rate, something that might've concerned you had mat, a canadian, not been the one to drive you.

he handed ella off to you before scooping your bags up in one hand and opening the front door with the other.

"you don't have to carry my bags, mat."

"well, you're carrying my child, so why would i make you carry bags on top of that?"

"you could've carried ella!"

"not when i was planning on carrying your bags! now let's go, you don't want to miss your flight, now do you?"

the three of you headed out to his car and loaded it up. mat placed your bags in the trunk while you strapped ella in before you both hopped in the front and headed towards the airport.

"you excited to see your family again?"

you nodded. "it'll be good to see everyone again."

"you don't have any relatives you'd rather avoid?"

you couldn't help it, a laugh burst out of your mouth without your permission. "actually not this time around but--"

an alert on your phone cut you off.

flight BA4739 has been cancelled due to a mechanical issue.

"you've gotta be shitting me," you said.

mat glanced at you before quickly turning his eyes back to the road. his attention, though, was still on you. "what happened?"

"my flight's cancelled."

mat eased into the right lane and began the drive to the apartment. "are there any flights you can catch?"

you were a step ahead of him, checking every possible flight out of jfk and shaking your head when you came up empty handed. "it doesn't look like it." you sighed and pressed your head against the head rest. "god, i'm sorry mat. i know your family is coming in tomorrow and this puts a dent in things."

he scoffed. "it's fine, just means they'll have to get a hotel, but i can take care of that easy."

your eyes shot open. "mat, don't put them in a hotel, i can find someone to stay with."

"i'm not kicking you out of our home. that's ridiculous."

you clenched your jaw to keep it from dropping at his statement. mat said it so plainly, it was almost like it wasn't a big deal.

"mat--"

"listen, you're not going to a hotel, that's final. when we get home, we'll check for the next flight out and i'll buy the tickets."

"you don't have to--"

"consider it my christmas present to you," he said like there weren't presents under the tree with your name carefully written on them.

you rolled your eyes, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

when the three of you got back to the apartment, you grabbed ella while mat took the bags. the second you three were settled, you were pulling out your laptop and double checking for flights. when you couldn't find anything, you sighed and resigned yourself to a white christmas in new york.

day sixty-nine

you and ella were dancing to christmas music in the living room when the barzals came in through the door.

"let me see my grandbaby!" nadia said, dropping her purse on the couch.

you handed ella over immediately, though you hung around for a second to see if she would cry. but ella just smiled and stuck a fist in her mouth.

liana came through next, hugging you briefly before turning her attention to her niece.

a man who you'd never met but knew to be mat's father walked in carrying bags of his own with mat following behind him. you fully expected to be bypassed in favor of ella, and you wouldn't even blame him. but he stopped in front of you and placed the bags on the ground at his feet. with a heavy hand he'd placed on your shoulder, mike barzal began to speak.

"thank you," he said. "thank you for taking care of my son and my grandchild. when we heard the news, my wife and i were trying to figure out what to do, but then mat called a few days later and sang your praises." he squeezed your shoulder gently. "i can't tell you how much it means to us knowing that you're here taking care of ella and helping mat."

you managed a smile, not really having the words to communicate how much having mat and ella has changed your life.

mike squeezed your shoulder one more time before walking over to where his wife and daughter stood.

mat approached you next, the bags he carried in were resting by the door.

"i can sleep on the couch, or go out and buy an air mattress and sleep in ella's room," you said. "just say the word."

mat rolled his eyes and elbowed you lightly. "quit it. this is your home too, i'm not kicking you out."

"i hope i didn't hear you offering to vacate your room," nadia turned around and faced you, quirking an eyebrow. "we're not going to make you leave."

"you wouldn't be making me do anything, i'm offering--"

"and we're denying the offer," she said matter of factly. "there's a nice hotel not too far from here."

"i don't want to split up your family for christmas!"

nadia approached and with the arm not holding ella, she reached out and squeezed your hand. "sweetheart, you've been taking care of my babies, you're family to me now."

you swallowed the lump in your throat.

"i'm sorry you don't get to spend christmas with your family," she started. "but i'm glad i get to watch you open the presents we got you in real time."

your jaw dropped. "mrs. barzal you didn't have to--"

she shook her head. "you deserve to be appreciated, sweetheart." then she directed her attention to ella. "isn't that right, baby?"

liana turned her attention to you. "are you going to the game tonight?"

you shook your head. "i'm going to grace's to help with last minute decorations for the team christmas party."

"are you taking ella?"

you shrugged. "i figured i'd leave that up to you. i can take her if you'd rather focus on the game and not a cranky baby.

nadia pressed kisses to ella's cheeks, enough that the little girl shrieked with laughter. "let's play it by ear, if she's cranky before the game, she can go with you, if that's alright."

you smiled and nodded.

as the day went on, ella stayed in pretty high spirits, even when mat left to head to the arena. she took a lengthy nap which gave nadia enough confidence to take her to the game. you ubered to grace's house, a secret that was meant to stay between you and liana, who saw you ordering the ride.

you arrived at grace's house five minutes before the puck dropped. in true hockey wife fashion, she had the game pulled up in the living room so you could watch while you worked. sydney's daughters were camped out in front of an ipad, watching bluey while their mom came in and out of the room with bags of groceries. grace's daughters, you were told, were already in bed.

"where's the baby?" winnie asked when she saw you.

you couldn't help yourself and laughed. "she's at the game."

"why aren't you with her?"

you smiled and squatted down to look her in the eye. "her grandparents are watching her, so i came over here to help."

winnie furrowed her brows, scrutinizing you. "but you're her mom, you're supposed to be with her. my mom is always with me."

"i'm not ella's mom, winnie. i'm her babysitter. like when your parents go out sometimes and they have a babysitter watch you? that's my job."

"then where's her mom?"

you opened and closed your mouth a few times before you realized the words just failed you. there was no way to say the truth other than plainly.

so you shrugged and said "i don't know."

sydney and grace rounded the corner and smiled when they saw you, greeting you with hugs.

"so it shouldn't take too long," grace started. "we're just adding a few decorations, sydney's gonna help me in the kitchen with prepping some of the food for christmas." her attention turned to you. "do you think you can handle the decorations around the house? it should just be the downstairs and the railings up to the second floor. nothing too extravagant."

you looked at the totes of decorations numbering in three total on the floor. "i can do that," you said.

grace smiled wide. "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

you smiled back and immediately got to work. it wouldn't take you long, the house was already pretty decorated, but grace had gone about and beyond and insisted on getting stockings for every player's family still in town, which was more than half the team. there was a table in the front entrance where you put the players' stockings and laid them out in neat rows.

on the stockings, there was the last name of the player with names below it being members of their family. marty's had sydney's, winnie's, and alice's name below his own. sorokin's just had his own name. but you hesitated when you pulled mat's out of the tote.

barzal was in big letters with ella's name underneath.

and then your own.

you blinked over and over, thinking maybe you were hallucinating.

"i hope i didn't overstep!" grace's voice startled you out of your stupor. "when mat told me you were staying in town for the holiday, i went ahead and added your name. do you know if his parents and sister are joining us?"

you shook your head. the plan was you'd be with the barzals christmas eve and christmas morning, but christmas night, when you went to the lee's house, nadia, mike, and liana would stay back. as far as you heard, anders had extended the invitation, but they declined it, not wanting to impose.

grace nodded. "okay, sounds good then!" she made a move to walk away but stopped when she saw the look on your face. you weren't quite sure what she was seeing from her perspective, but your mind was racing and your feet felt like lead. "are you okay? you seem in your head."

you shrugged. "just trying to figure things out."

"is everything okay with mat? you two seemed fine not too long ago."

and you were. but you hadn't told sydney or grace about how you slept in the same bed as mat the night you ran into your ex. and you weren't going to share that now. they'd both read into it, think things were different than they actually were.

"i just miss my family," you said.

it was clear she didn't believe you, but thankfully, grace let it go. she walked back to the kitchen while you continued to lay out the stockings.

you finished with the stockings shortly after, not sparing another glance to the one with your name on it.

it took another thirty minutes to finish the decorating before you joined grace and sydney in the kitchen. you took a seat at the bar and watched them prepare some of the dishes for christmas. it was mostly just chopping and putting things into pans and oven safe dishes.

you were halfway listening to the chatter happening between the wives when your phone buzzed.

liana told me you ubered to anders'?

mat.

you texted back, a small smile on your face. sydney was already here, i didn't have a ride otherwise.

could've asked me to drop you off.

two hours early? no thanks.

well, stay there until the game is over. i'm picking you up.

you rolled your eyes, but still couldn't keep yourself from smiling.

"what's mat saying now?" sydney asked.

"huh?" you asked, head snapping up to see two smirking blondes staring back at you.

"mat," grace said. "what did he say?"

"how did you--"

"you only smile like that with him," sydney explained. "certainly never smiled like that around your ex, the one time i saw him with you."

at the mention of jason, your stomach churned, but you kept up appearances.

you, grace, and sydney were chatting on the couches when the front door opened with matt, anders, and mat walking in. winnie, who was originally dozing off, popped up from laying on the couch to see her father standing there. she smiled and ran over to him.

anders walked in the living room and kissed his wife.

which just left you and mat, staring at each other across the room and not saying a word.

"how was the game?" sydney asked.

all three of the hockey players shrugged in unision. "fine," anders said before collapsing on the couch next to his wife. "how was your night?"

grace looked at you and sydney before smiling and turning to her husband. "i'd say it was productive and fun." you and sydney hummed in response.

matt came and sat next to his wife and a sleeping alice who was in sydney's arms. which just left an empty spot next to you and mat who was still standing in the doorway.

"barzy, you gonna come sit or stand there awkwardly?" anders chirped.

almost like he was snapped out of a daze, mat walked over and took the seat next to you, leaving about four inches between your hips and his. almost immediately, he threw his arm over the back of the couch behind your head.

you turned and looked at him for a moment, forgetting about the other people in the room. "ella with your parents?"

he nodded. "i offered to take her, but my mom insisted on putting her down."

"did you score at all tonight?"

he grinned and nodded yet again, but it was marty who cut him off.

"should've seen him! two goals, one assist."

your jaw dropped as you looked back at mat. "that's insane!" he immediately beamed at your reaction. your eye contact was broken up when his phone vibrated. mat's face twisted into a frown before he stood up and offered you a hand.

"hate to rush off, but my mom just said ella keeps crying and won't go to sleep, so we gotta go."

marty and sydney stood to their feet, each carrying a child. "we should also be heading out," matt said. anders and grace stood up a beat later, offering to walk all of you to the door.

matt and sydney exited first, with you and mat trailing behind them. mat's hand rested lightly on your lower back, something that had your knees trembling.

grace and anders hugged all of you goodbye and promised to see you in two days. they stood on the front porch and watched as all of you got into your respective cars.

mat didn't say anything until he was pulling out of the neighborhood. unlike the times before, the silence wasn't tense or awkward, it was just calm.

"did you have fun?" he asked.

"yeah, it was nice seeing them outside of hockey games and bar meet ups." you yawned.

"missed you at the game, it wasn't quite the same without you there."

"you scored twice and assisted on one goal, i'd say you did fine without me."

"could've gotten a hat trick if you were there."

you furrowed your brows, but there was a small smile playing at the edges of your lips. this felt normal, like nothing had changed, just you and mat. "how do you figure?"

he shrugged. "i always play better when you're there."

you almost did it. you almost asked him why. but you were scared of the answer, scared of what it would change.

scared that it wouldn't change a thing.

he's not gonna fall in love with you.

it was only a matter of minutes before you were back at your apartment. the two of you took the elevator to get to your floor.

you could hear ella's cries through the front door as mat hastened to unlock it. the second the door was open, every head turned towards the two of you. mat shut the door while you walked over to where liana was holding a crying ella.

ella immediately reached out for you, rubbing at her eyes when she finally settled on your hip. "sorry," you apologized to mat's family.

"what're you apologizing for, sweetheart?" nadia asked. she squeezed your arm before ushering her family to the front door. "we need to get to our hotel and get some rest. we'll see you three tomorrow."

"bye mom," mat kissed his mother's cheek and hugged liana and mike before walking them to the door and locking it behind them.

you stared at him, even as he turned around and made eye contact with you. you finally noticed a line on his forehead that you missed earlier.

you gestured to your own forehead. "you have a line right here..." you trailed off.

mat reached up a hand and felt for it before rolling his eyes. "it's from my helmet, dumbass."

you gasped and covered the one ear of ella's that wasn't pressed against your collarbone. "in front of the baby?"

"you said worse two days ago when you hit your hip on the kitchen counter."

you rolled your eyes, which seemed to be a recurring theme between the two of you that night. "i'm gonna try to take the queen to bed, wish me luck."

"i can put her down if you want," he said but you were already walking down the hallway and waving him off.

it took twenty minutes to settle ella down enough to go to sleep, and by the time you hit your mattress, you were out like a light.

day seventy-one

you woke up when the sunlight peeked through the blinds. your heart immediately shot to your throat when you realized you couldn't hear ella's sound machine through the baby monitor. the panic didn't settle when you turned over and realized it was off.

you jumped out of bed, barely remembering to throw on a sweatshirt over your tank top, and threw the door open.

you were immediately greeted with the sound of christmas music coming from the kitchen. it wasn't until you rounded the corner and saw mat making eggs with ella on his hip that you finally relaxed.

mat turned around at the sound of your heavy panicked breathing. his brows were furrowed and he moved the pan off the stove when he saw you were winded. "are you okay?"

"the monitor was off, i'm so sorry i thought i turned it on last night but i forgot--"

"i turned it off this morning," mat said. "figured you deserved a chance to sleep in."

ella smiled at seeing you and reached for you. mat didn't hesitate to walk her over, probably to make it easier to cook breakfast. you took ella and cherished the snuggles she gave you.

"when is your family coming over?"

mat tapped his phone, presumably to check the time or his texts. "fifteen minutes or so?"

you spared a glance outside. "will they be okay in the snow?"

"uh oh, mama bear's coming out," he teased. "we're literally from canada, my family will be fine."

you nodded, feeling heat crawl up your neck at the slight overreaction and concern.

the three of you sat at the table, eating the eggs and sausage mat made. normally, when you were with your family, you'd eat homemade cinnamon rolls, but maybe this year was about changing traditions and embracing them.

you picked up your phone and called your mom, waiting for her to answer. when she didn't pick up, you just shot her a quick "merry christmas" text and telling her to call you back when she gets the chance, that you couldn't wait to see her tomorrow.

by the time the three of you finished breakfast, his family was knocking at the door, greeting the three of you with an excited "merry christmas" when mat opened the door. while they got settled, you took ella out of the high chair and carried her into the living room.

you sat on the floor in front of the recliner and plopped ella in your lap while mike and nadia brought their wrapped presents in. mat and liana were the ones to pass them all out while their parents got situated on one end of the couch.

you were surprised to see some presents for you written in handwriting you knew did not belong to mat, part of you fully expecting nadia to have been bluffing two days ago.

when the presents were passed out, mat took the seat behind you in the recliner, even going as far as to let you lean against his shin for support.

"now, i don't know how you do it in your family, but in the barzal family, we going youngest to oldest, and we record everything," mike said, holding his phone up. "our sweet ella, though, is the first person to take away liana's long standing reign over opening presents first."

mat got out of the recliner, choosing to sit on the floor on your left, seemingly to help ella open her presents. you scooted back to use the recliner as back support now that mat was sitting next to you.

you heard a beep, presumably of mike's camera starting to record.

"let's open this one, ella bean," mat said to his daughter. he started ripping it at the edge, carefully placing the present in front of her and waiting to see if she did anything with it.

ella stared at it, but otherwise seemed uninterested

"look ella," you said, reaching around her and tugging the paper a little more.

she was uninterested until she heard the distinct sound of ripping. then she tried it for herself, laughing and clapping her hands when it made the noise she liked.

her first present was a puzzle made up of the letters of her name from liana. her next present was from nadia and mike, a box of playpen balls. you couldn't wait to open them, to get her settled in her playpen with them and watch her entertain herself.

mat helped her open the books everyone had bought her. he must've told his family she'd gotten into reading lately, because you weren't the only one contributing to her library.

mat's present to ella was a walker. she'd started crawling a few weeks ago, and mat was determined to get her to start walking before the end of the year.

your last present was the last one for her to open. it was just in a gift bag, and ella thoroughly enjoyed taking the tissue paper out once she got a hang of it. but nothing could've prepared you for the shriek that left her mouth when she saw the stuffed hippo.

you didn't think you'd ever seen her smile that big.

she reached for it with grabby hands, bringing it to her chest when she got it.

"guess we know her favorite gift," mat chuckled.

the rest of the morning was filled with the other presents being opened. you ended the morning with cute sweaters and a barzal jersey.

"so you can stop wearing mat's," liana had said. "figured you'd at least want something clean to wear to games."

mat had mumbled something under his breath, but when you asked him to repeat himself, he just pressed a kiss to the top of ella's head and kept his mouth shut.

when it was mat's turn to open gifts, you could feel yourself flush with embarrassment when he opened your gift. you didn't know the platonic way of saying "i got this because it would bring out your eyes," so you settled with "i thought you'd like it."

and he did, he swore it would be the tie he'd wear in the first game of the new year when you got back in town.

nadia made a wonderful christmas lunch. it was light because she knew you were going to the lee's in a matter of hours, but still better than anything mat could've cooked up.

it wasn't long before the three of you were saying your goodbyes with mike, nadia, and liana all promising to come see you soon, and to thank you for taking care of their newest addition.

just like any other time the three of you left the apartment, you carried ella while mat grabbed the diaper bag.

ella sat in her car seat, snuggling her hippo while mat drove.

"you must be pretty proud of yourself for that hippo gift," he said.

you smiled at him, reveling in the way he'd occasionally take his eyes off the road to look at you. "i am. i have an extra one in my closet just in case this one gets messed up."

his jaw dropped. "you're a fucking genius."

you weren't the last ones to get to anders' and grace's house, but you surely weren't the first. there was a line of cars parked on the street, none of which you recognized.

"are we taking the car seat inside?" you asked when mat put the car in park.

his hand paused over the door handle. "do you think we should?"

you shrugged. "we could always come back out and get it if we need it. but i'm willing to bet that she's gonna be passed around like a hot potato tonight."

mat rolled his eyes but sighed anyway. "as long as dobson doesn't hold her, it'll be fine." with that, he got out of the car and opened the back door to grab the bag.

"wait why?" you asked, getting out and unbuckling ella. "what's wrong with dobson?"

"he's like 23!"

you blinked. "am i missing something? why is that a problem?"

"he's too young to hold her, he'd do something dumb like drop her."

you rolled your eyes as you picked ella up, but said nothing.

the three of you were immediately accosted by christmas music and food smells when you walked through the front door of the lee house.

"you made it!" grace exclaimed, coming out of the living room to greet you. "grab your stocking and head to the couches, i think my husband is gonna do a toast and then we'll get started on dinner."

you nodded along and turned to look at mat who hadn't said anything. your heart dropped straight to your toes when you saw him pick up the stocking that made your mind go blank the other night. his fingers traced over his last name, then ella's name, then yours. he hesitated on yours though, fingers running over it like it was something delicate.

it felt weird to watch that moment, like you were intruding on something private, but before you could look away, he looked up at you. "did you see this?" he asked.

you nodded. "saw it the other night. are you mad?"

he quickly shook his head. "nope. just caught off guard." he glanced back down at the stocking before looking up at you and smiling. "let's get on with this, shall we?"

the night started with anders toasting to the team, but more importantly the wives and girlfriends and support behind each member who'd played a large role whether they realized it or not.

mat nudged you at that moment, which earned him an elbow in the side and a wink from anthony who stood next to him.

when they broke off for dinner, mat offered to take ella so you could get your plate first, but you declined, saying you could wait a few more minutes.

while he was gone, sydney approached. "so, how was this morning? get caught up under any mistletoe?" she nudged you. "get any sentimental gifts?"

when you thought about it, you didn't really. the gifts you got, while amazing, weren't tear jerking, which was surprising considering sydney had said mat's gift to you was thoughtful.

but what was thoughtful about a spa gift card and some bath bombs?

"nope, just the typical gifts, you know?"

sydney's face twisted a little before it righted itself when mat came back with a plate of food.

"got you what i thought you'd like," he said, handing the plate to you.

your brows furrowed. "i thought we agreed you'd eat first."

but he smirked. "no, you did."

"mathew. go eat!"

he shook his head. "not before you. now, let's trade, i'll take my child and you take the plate and go eat with sydney and the other wives if you want." mat handed the plate to sydney before taking ella and walking away before you could say anything.

you watched him walk away for a moment before turning to your friend, only to find her already looking at you. "what?"

she had a smirk for reasons you weren't sure you wanted to know about. "oh nothing."

the night continued on without much fanfare, with you and mat leaving around the same time as the martins again because of the children all three of you brought.

you'd made it back home before midnight. mat this time, wanted to put ella to bed, making sure to leave the hippo out of her crib.

you were in your room packing the last bit of your things so you could leave tomorrow and fly home. you were in the zone until you heard a throat being cleared. when you turned around, mat was leaning up against the doorway with a box in his hand.

"i know you're probably tired, but i have one last present for you."

"mat--"

"i didn't want to give it to you in front of my parents and liana, just seemed too personal." he offered no other explanation and just handed you the box.

you took it carefully, going to your bed and sitting down on the edge to open the present. when you pulled the lid off the box, you were staring at tissue paper until you pulled it away to reveal a photo album.

oh god.

it was the thoughtful present sydney had talked about.

you immediately pulled it out of the box and started flipping through it. the photos were some you'd never seen before, but they were all of you and ella. until you got further in, the photos went from just you and ella to you, mat, and ella.

you looked like a proper family.

sydney or grace must've had a hand in it, because half the photos you didn't remember being taken and they were all candids.

you could feel your eyes water, you noticed the pressure. but you kept wiping at your face to prevent them from falling onto the album itself.

you looked up at mat who looked the most unsure of himself since that first night he had ella. "i hope it wasn't over stepped, i just figured you would like to see how important you are to me, to us, me and ella." he gestured at the book. "some of the photos i took, others i got from grace and syd. i hope it's not weird or anything--"

but you were already up and crossing the room towards him.

a beat later you grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled his lips to yours.

he responded not even a split second later, his mouth moving against yours. mat's arms came around your waist while your hands made a home in his hair.

was kissing always supposed to be this charged? to feel this right?

you had no idea how long you stood there, kissing mat, before you both pulled away to breathe. your eyes opened slowly, only to meet his hazel irises almost immediately.

and then reality hit you.

jason's words haunting you at just the right time.

he's not gonna fall in love with you. you're a no good bitch who didn't know what she had when she had it.

you pulled away instantly and stumbled back into your room, dodging mat's hold when he tried to reach out for you.

"what's going on?" he asked. "what just happened?"

you shook your head and grabbed your bag, moving past him without making contact. "this was a mistake," you said. "i have to go."

god you felt sick to your stomach.

mat was calling your name, but you kept walking, out the front door, down the stairs, and onto the street where you hailed a taxi.

it wasn't until you got in that you exhaled.

what the fuck had you done?

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[letthewordsoverflow]

So I saw Anora two days ago and can't get this epilogue out of my head so just imagine this, directly following the end of the movie....

So Igor holds Anora in the car until she stops crying

then finally she gets up and then gets out of the car with a flippant joke about him zipping his dick back in "pervert"

then she takes a few steps back towards the house and then turns back and goes "well? Are you coming?"

So he goes from scrambling to zip up his pants to scrambling out of the car and following her inside

and then they go into the living room and her sister is there w her boyfriend sitting on the couch and shes just like "hey there's some lasagna in the kitchen"

so he follows anora into the kitchen (he'd follow her anywhere) and they get lasagna and they go to join her sister and her bf in the living room to watch the movie and they're cuddled on one side of the 3 seater and anora sits against the other arms so there's space in between but it'd be tight so he sits in the arm chair next to the couch

and they eat their food and are watching and he's super aware of her but definitely NOT looking at her (okay but only from the corner of his eye and she DEFINITELY cannot tell)

at some point she lets out a frustrated sigh and stands up and comes to sit in his lap and cuddles into him

eventually she falls asleep there, with her head curled under his chin, and she stays like that for a long time

he considers asking her sister for a throw blanket but then they get up and go into one of the two bedrooms down the hall

He waits a while longer, just holding her. Shes safe. And she's in his arms.

If you had asked him what he expected from being 30 three days ago, it definitely would not be this. But this, this is so much better.

He stands up and takes her to her room and sets her down in her bed and he moves her hair out of her face and just gazes at her for a second

He moves to leave but she groggily reaches out her arm and says "stay"

so he kicks off his shoes, climbs into bed, and just holds her while they sleep.

and she actually sleeps through the night instead of getting up to work (at some point he woke up to piss and he gently pushed her to ask and she was not pleased about the disruption because she "needs some fuckin rest after the last 48hours")

they wake up the next day at like noon (early for her, late for him)

So they wake up and just look at each other for a moment and then he asks "may I kiss you?" And she says "but I have morning breath" and he says "may I kiss you?" And she says "you have morning breath" and he says "may I kiss you?" And she nods, not breaking eye contact but clearly a little bashful at the vulnerability

and theyre kissing and then they're making out and at some point he pulls away and moves to just hold her and shes like "do you...not want to?"

And he goes "I want to, we just don't have to. I'm happy like this." and he cuddles her closer

and she smiles to herself and hides he face into his chest for a moment

but then she moves to straddle him and goes "what if I want to?" And he goes "whatever you want" in the tone that says 'you can have whatever you want and we never have to do anything you don't want' and seeing the sentiment echoed in his eyes has her kissing him with all she's worth (which a lot in his estimation)

and then theyre getting all hot and heavy and she takes off his shirt and moves to take off his pants

when she realizes he's still wearing his jeans so of course she gives him shit for that (but he wasn't going to climb into her bed in his underwear without her go ahead so he just takes her teasing)

and they laugh together as they keep making out and shedding clothes and then she moves to touch him (like she did in the car, but this time it was about him)

He stops her and he asks if he can do something

and she says sure

so he flips them so she's on her back (she knew he was strong, he threw her around a whole bunch not two days ago, but it was different to have him move her like that....it did it for her honestly)

he moves to go eat her out and she starts to stammer that he doesn't need to do that and he says "what if I want to"

like she said before

and then he goes at it for a nice long time

And he makes her cum

like HARD

and so shes like "I finished," meaning to say 'okay cool now im taken care of so over to fucking so you can get off' (that's just how sex works, right) and hes like "who said i am?"

And then keeps at it, making her orgasm a few more times before he even lets her touch his dick

(she can't even recall the last time a guy she was with got her off)

so she's like on cloud nine when she's finally like "stop stop"

he pulls back IMMEDIATELY and asks if she's okay and if he did something wrong

she says no, she's just over sensitive and then next time she cums she would really like if he was inside her

so then he smiles and moves up her body, kissing her along the way, to get into position

and he kisses her (she loves the taste of herself on him) and then asks if she has a condom

she says she does "but....also....we don't need to use one of you don't want to"

hes very confused

so she gets nervous and starts to ramble about how she always ALWAYS uses protection w clients and she gets tested all the time and knows shes clean (to which he says "me too") and she has an iud but its also totally cool if he wants one because she has been w a lot of partners (bc she assumes he doesn't bc of a judgement for her profession)

meanwhile hes just confused bc it didnt even ocurr to him she may want that

so he asks what she wants and she says no condom (which is kinda the biggest display of trust and intimacy she has bc she is METICULOUS about protection) (even w Ivan who, she was seeing exclusively for what is a long time in her book, she always made him use a condom)

so then they have sex

and he hits a smooth slow wave of a rhythm that really works for her

and he uses one hand to support himself over her and his other to rub her clit

and he just keeps looking at her

and the eye contact and the intimacy are too much and she cums

She cums a lot

and only then does he finally start to lose his rhythm until he's moaning into her neck as he cums

And then he rolls off her and she must be the sappiest bitch in Brooklyn because she misses having him inside her

And then he is just lying next to her breathing heavily for a moment before he quickly gets up and puts on his pants and walks out

and she feels like she must have whiplash bc they were just so intimate (more intimate than she's been with a guy in.... god she doesn't want to think of how long it's been like this)

and he's just gone

like every other guy

maybe this was all just a good fuck to him

Maybe he saw the opportunity to fuck the sex worker, knew it'd be a good time, and now he was done

she's working herself up, even though a whispering voice in the back of her mind kept saying he couldn't have gone far without shoes....or a shirt....or his phone and car keya....

by the time he comes back and shes convinced herself that he was using her and she shouldn't have let him in or trusted him or slept in his arms all night

So she starts to yell at him, which she certainly has a talent for

At first he's confused but he slowly approaches her and sits on the edge of the bed

and he looks down at his hand and then at her, asking for permission

and only then she realizes he came back with a glass of water and a warm damp towel - to clean her up, she realizes as he gently and methodically starts to clean her thighs

she sips at the cool water he handed her as she watches him slowly tend to her

then he sets the towel and glass down (after taking a sip himself... somehow his swallow was a turn on? What is happening to her?)

and he takes is jeans back off and climbs back into the bed and pulls the covers up over them and pulls her to his chest until they both fall back to asleep.

Later he drives her to work at the strip club, kisses her goodbye, and says he'll pick her up later.

As he watches her walk into HQ he can't help but think how much his grandmother is going to love her.

[ariseur]

a lil drabble about megumi and how it would living w him? (maybe reader and megumi are married or they are still dating)

💌

“watching people crumble so desperately is like hell.” megumi tipped his head back, the back of his hair flattening against the plush cushions of your shared bed. you looked up from your pillow, gazing at the tv mounted neatly on the wall of your room before looking over at megumi, your brows instantly knitting together.

he huffed, “i mean, it’s pathetic, really,” yet even with those words, his attention was brought back to the screen.

“megumi, baby, it’s pawn stars.”

his eyes rolled over to you, squinting. “exactly, they’re on television and they’re acting this way,” you gently laughed at his antics, sleepily scooting over towards him no matter how much he stiffened. truth be told, moving in with megumi wasn’t such a bad idea. it wasn’t that much different considering your past at jujutsu high ( where you’d ultimately visit his dorm every other day ) — so having you around wasn’t an abrupt change of pace. and, you had managed to reel him in with these trash television shows just like how these companies do as well, even if he complained about the lack of substantial consumption of these tv shows were absolutely appalling; you catch him on his way to throw out the trash, pausing at the front door as his head remained peeked through the crevice — trying to watch the new season that you had put on as background noise.

your fingers danced along his rest, which he awkwardly looked around while you did so. if you asked, he’d tell you that you’re weird and that’s why he was so tense but in actuality, he just can’t handle affection. it almost seemed surreal to him at times, like he couldn’t believe you were real. he’d come home after a tiring day, kick off his shoes and make his way over to the kitchen to soothe his famishing appetite, and then he’d see you. you’d be washing dishes or exercising or perhaps just walking right past that again on the floor you always say you’ll clean ( and never do ), and he’ll just observe. it’s only when it’s at night when you’re falling asleep that he would murmur small praises to you, telling you that he can’t believe you’re actually hear.

megumi would mutter them low enough that he knows you won’t be able to hear them, only focusing on his low voice and being able to flutter your eyelashes as they became heavy lidded with sleep, feeling him fiddle with the ends of your hair as the tickling sensation shot straight up to your scalp — pulling you further into a balanced serenity. then in the morning, he’d wake up before you, and before he started any mundane activities that had to be done that day, he admired you. sometimes you woke up with a teasing smile, asking him what he had been doing watching you, and other times you’d try to pretend to sleep even though he knew the difference anyway. megumi had spent too long in bed, just gazing at your face, to not know your body language enough to where he wouldn’t know if you were awake or not.

“do you wanna go somewhere today?” he asked, only getting an eyeful of bed head as he looked down to see you clutching his arm. he quirked a brow, dropping the remote from his now free hand to bring it up to your head — before flicking your temple. you groaned. megumi huffed, “oi, do you wanna go or not?”

“why can’t we jus’ stay in bed?” you whined, dragging out the ‘e’ likely more than you needed to. his hand came down to softly rest on your head, thumb rubbing your temple to somewhat try and soothe his recent assault.

“because later at noon, you’re gonna get mad at me because i let you spend the whole day lazing in bed.”

“. . no.”

megumi sighed as he threw his head back again. he shook your shoulder once more only to be met with a groan, the proximity of your mouth and the small space in between where you had smushed your head and the pillow creating a louder bleat than it sounded, almost drowning the low volume background noise that was ‘pawn stars’.

at that point, he had almost considered giving up — that is, until his brain thought back to the one thing that could get you to do anything. his head tipped back down, a sharp sigh escaping his nostrils once more.

“we can go get you some of that mochi you like right now.”

your head tilted up at the comment, one eye peeking out through the warm blanket and upwards at megumi. he carried a blank expression, clearly using his last resort. he watched as your pupil flickered to the left, downwards, and then back up at him before you muttered, “you will?”

his lips pressed together before he gave you a curt nod. before he could react properly or add anything else, megumi retracted his arm from your body ( or it was more ejected from your space ) as you scrambled out of bed, hurrying to put on jeans and find your tennis shoes. he barked at you to be careful as you sailed away into the hallway, only for his calls to fall on deaf ears. sliding out of the covers, he was met with the cool air as the foreign temperature abraded his skin, resulting in a deep shudder. he looked back at the hallway whilst he rested on the edge of the bed.

shaking his head, megumi huffed out a small, “dork,” before getting up to follow after you.

𐙚 taglist ; @chxlexauriana @seternic @kalulakunundrum @silly-norman @sad-darksoul @kasumitenbaz

𐙚 requests are open — june twenty fourth, 2024

[lilacsandpetals]

Frozen Blossoms Pt. 4

Bi-Han x F! reader

Tags and notes: Arranged marriage AU, SFW, slow burn, Pre-MK1/MK1 AU

Last part here.

Next part here.

You don’t know what you should do. If you move, you might wake him up.

It’s interesting to see him like this, you haven’t seen him so relaxed before, it always seemed as if he walked around with a scowl on his face or at the very least, a blank expression. His eyebrows were often furrowed, ever in a state of concern or disapproval. It almost caught you off guard not seeing that wrinkle on his forehead. You reach out gently to touch the spot, almost to check if this is real. Some part of you still believed you were dreaming, especially since you don’t remember falling asleep like this.

The second your fingertips are mere centimeters from him, he wakes up and grabs your hand, hard. You gasp and he immediately lets go before sitting up, “do not do that,” he scowls. You rub your hand sheepishly and look at him, ‘there is that familiar facial expression again.’ “I didn’t think you’d wake up,” you groan. 

“Have you forgotten who I am? I’ve been trained to be hyper-aware of my surroundings since I was a child, I am not a light sleeper.” 

“I didn’t think of it like that.” ‘So much for starting off on the right foot today.’

“I am rarely at ease, and you prodding at me does not help.”

So he wasn’t relaxed with you. You’re not totally surprised, you two have still only known each other for a limited time, however, you were beginning to grow fond of him. 

His words do sting a little. 

He watches you rubbing your hand, you appear… sad to him. He didn’t mean to snap like that. He wants to cringe at the guilt that begins to rear its ugly head again.“Give me your hand,” he commands. You place your hand in his and he holds it gently, turning it from one side to the other. It’s cold and there were a few bruises. He felt slightly embarrassed. You weren’t a threat to him, so why did he react like that? Maybe he wasn’t used to the intimacy. He did fall asleep rather close to you. It was uncharted territory for him.

“Give me a moment.” He goes to rummage through his drawer and pulls out some sort of ointment. You sit up before he takes your hand. He uses his fingertips to grab some of the ointment and puts it on your hand. He keeps his gaze focused on your hand and carefully massages it. Soon enough your hand begins to feel better. You watch him carefully, he’s concentrated. When he’s done he looks up and you both lock eyes before he looks away. “Does it feel any better?”

“It does,” you reach out your other hand and place it on his. “Thank you.”

“Consider it repaying a favor.” You seem confused for a moment but are reminded of how you tended to his arm. You smile briefly, you didn’t know he had appreciated that after he left so abruptly, but maybe you’d ask about it at a later time. 

“I don’t mean to come off as rude, but I didn’t expect you to be here?” It was certainly well into the morning, practically noon.

‘Neither did I.’ “I am attempting to make amends.”

“Meaning?” His response didn’t quite answer your question. 

“I failed to accompany you at the festivities in the village yesterday, but I will accompany you today.”

Only, if you’d still have him. 

Some semblance of his being still resisted any attempts to get close to you, yet the desire for you had become increasingly evident. He couldn’t quite see ‘loving’ interactions occurring between you two, not now. And he couldn’t grasp the concept of using such interactions or the thought of it to drive him to improve in his endeavors yet. But he aches for your attention, he longs for you to desire him. 

Perhaps he needs to alter his perspective. If he could manage to pursue these actions in a manner akin to a requirement, then it could be seen as a matter of fulfilling another responsibility. Partaking in conversation and activities with you as his wife, it was just another duty for him to maintain. That was manageable. 

But even so, how would he properly associate with you? Prior he had only assumed that the main duty you’d serve as his wife, and him as your husband, was maintaining social etiquettes and producing an heir, eventually. But even when that was all he thought of his role as a husband, you managed to snake your way into his subconscious. 

Your gentle determination to get closer to him, your adamantly kind nature, your beauty, it intrigued him. Did he entice you as well? 

You watch him seem somewhat lost in thought. He was always so reserved when it came to you, it was difficult to pinpoint what he was ever thinking about. You’re pleasantly surprised that he’s brought up an offer of spending time with you. Thinking it over, some petty part of you wants to decline the proposition, but you aren’t going to throw away last night’s progress for the sake of frivolous revenge. 

“Okay, let's get ready and we’ll be on our way.”

—------------------

You had never seen Bi-Han in casual clothing before, it was nearly unsettling. The sleepwear he was in this morning retained a dark shade, you felt like it was fitting for him. So this current informal attire was something to get used to. Yet you couldn’t deny that he appeared rather attractive like this. The tunic was a lighter color, the sleeves were cut just below his shoulders, leaving his muscles available for your eyes to feast over. The pants contrasted with the shirt, being a darker shade of gray. 

Right now you wanted your morning tea. Did your husband even drink tea? You weren’t too knowledgeable on his eating preferences, he just seemed to eat whatever was in front of him at mealtimes. 

He had followed you to the kitchen, leaning up against the wall and watching your every move as you walked about, searching for a teapot. You slid open a cabinet only to be met with the pot sitting on a shelf just out of your reach. You strain to reach the pot before Bi-Han puts a hand on your arm, “Stop struggling, I am able to reach it.” He hands it to you and you thank him. “I’ll make you a cup as well.” 

“Sure.” 

So he does like tea. 

He doesn’t sit at the table but goes back to his spot up against the wall. You boil the water and throw the tea leaves into the pot. “Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Okay.” You bite your lip, it won’t hurt to ask more questions, right? The conversations between you two tended to end as fast as they started. They were brief in nature. Well, all except that argument last night. Maybe he wouldn’t mind you talking more; he said he’d make the effort to engage with you. So you shall hold him to that. 

“Are you sure? Wouldn’t you get hungry later on then?” 

“If I do, I’ll take care of it.” 

You shrug, “fine.” Pouring the tea into your cups, you make sure to blow on it before setting it on the table. Bi-Han quietly sits across from you. Usually, at dinner, he’d sit by your side so you wouldn’t really look at him much. He’d be in your peripheral vision, sure, but that didn’t count. It’s an entirely different ordeal when he sits directly across from you, his eyes are downturned towards the teacup. Slowly the steam subsides from drifting into the air. 

You push your cups toward him, “can you cool down mine too? Only a bit.” 

He obliges and stares down at his own cup again for what feels like too long. You don’t know what he’s thinking about. He was such a mystery to decipher. It promoted the ever-looming feeling of discomfort. Perhaps today could help remedy that?

“You know, I barely know anything about you.”

“Likewise.” 

“Then let’s get to actually know each other, like you promised. I don’t want to spend my life with a stranger.”

He nods his head, he can understand your sentiment. He’ll fulfill his responsibility. 

“Okay, where were you when you heard the news of our betrothal?”

“Other than whispers of it at clan meetings, I was in my 

bedroom when my parents came in and broke the news to me.”

He takes a small sip of his tea, “and how did you react?”

You pause, “I assume you’re a man who admires honesty. I was nervous.”

He raises an eyebrow, but as if he’s amused at you, “And why is that?” 

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “As if you don’t know.” 

“Enlighten me.” 

You shoot him an annoyed look while you place your cup down. “Well, future Grandmaster, you must be skilled in reading people. So I’d assume you know why.” 

“A very observant claim. And of course, you found it nerve-wracking at the prospect of spending out your days in the presence of my power.”

You cross your arms, was he teasing you on purpose? “Yes, that’s correct, it wasn’t as If my husband-to-be appeared like he could care less. Then suddenly at the engagement, he looked at me like he wanted to drive a stake through my chest.” 

Memories of betrothal discussions flash through your mind. His indifference would twist into eyes of vile disdain. Anxiety would rise up within you back then for days on end, and a twinge of it emerged now. Why had you blurted all that out? Perhaps you would have spoken on such a topic if you two had reached a higher level of companionship. But the trepidation of what you had just uttered is calmed when your husband does not appear angered. 

Bi-Han can’t help himself. He is slightly satisfied that he was able to evoke a sense of fear within you when you two had first met. Yet that sense of satisfaction derives itself from a point in time where he did not care for you, you had been akin to an inconvenience in his mind and the fact that you had looked upon him as if he were some sort of beast only drove his ego. However, had you felt that way about him currently, well, he would be displeased. 

Your husband appears contemplative to you, tapping his finger against the table, miniscule shards of ice emerge where his finger hits the table. “And what am I in your eyes now?”

You take a moment to think it over, “I think I’ll have a concrete answer at the end of the day. My turn to ask the questions.” Thoughts run through your mind as you debate on what to bring up. Maybe it would be helpful to start at the beginning. 

“What was life like growing up? From what I’ve heard and seen, I assume it was intense.”

Bi-Han tilted his head. “Perhaps, yes. I didn’t like it when I was very young, but I consider it a blessing now.”

You rest your head in the palm of your hand and take in the sight of his well-sculpted arms and broad shoulders. “It must’ve been a lot of hard work, I wouldn’t know if I’d be able to maintain that.” 

“Discipline from a young age is essential and the work required of any Lin Keui, anything less is unworthy of the title.” You frown slightly, but quickly catch yourself. 

His childhood was laden with heavy burdens: strict schedules, relentless training, and endless lessons. It helped refine him. He’d never admit it, but it was exhausting at times. he’d take solace in the moments he’d be able to elude it all. Fleeting memories dance within his mind. Memories of a time when perhaps he was a bit happier, when he was kinder, when his view of the realm wasn’t so cold. 

But that was long ago, things were different now. 

“You acknowledge that our child will endure a similar upbringing.” His face seems serious when he says it. To be honest, since the wedding night, you haven’t even thought about producing an heir. The idea of it always felt like a distant afterthought, something you could push off thinking about. 

Your childhood was not as strenuous as your husband’s, so the thought that your own child would have to deal with such burdens frightened you.

Your husband’s face appears analytical and you sigh “I understand how a child would be raised here, but surely there were moments of rest or enjoyment? I feel as if that’d be a concern of mine, it would be for any mother, correct?”

Bi-Han’s jaw tenses slightly and you fear you may have struck a nerve. You’ve never heard him mention his mother. You are aware that she passed many years ago, but nothing more than that. You are about to change the subject when your husband speaks up once more. 

“My mother gave me the pleasure of tending to me when I needed her. You will be allowed to do the same.”

You nod your head slowly. He was quite vague, so you decide it may be best to halt your questioning about the subject. Just then your stomach grumbles and you clear your throat, slightly embarrassed. Bi-Han leans forward onto the table, “If you’re hungry, go eat. Do not wait for my sake.” You pick a piece of fruit from the bowl sitting on the table and take a small bite. “I was going to make soup for myself later since it’s been getting colder.” 

His interest is piqued.“Which kind?” 

You rest your chin on your hand, “I’m not sure yet.”

He appears contemplative, “chicken and mushroom is satiating.”

You smile, “I can make that.”

—------------------

You needed some ingredients, and you had informed your husband of that. He offered to retrieve them while you remained at home, but you reminded him of his vow today. So here you are, walking about in the village with him. It’s oddly domestic. You make sure to savor this moment. The village is still lively today, reeling down from the prior festivities. 

Bi-Han’s hand is wrapped around yours while you two walk into the marketplace, you move your hand and it feels as if your husband held on for a moment too long. “I only need a few things.” “Go ahead,” and so you begin your search. You stop at different vendors, weaving through the marketplace to acquire your needed Ingredients. Your husband follows closely behind, paying for whatever you happen to grab. 

Bi-Han likes watching you operate. These tasks are simple, yet you seem entirely focused. Your eyebrows furrow and you slightly purse your lips when you examine a vegetable before happily tossing it into your bag. He found it somewhat endearing. Since when did he think of you like that? He shakes his head to himself and looks back up to keep an eye on you. You were moving through the shops with ease, and he was keen on not losing you in the crowd. His eyes narrow when a man comes up to you to speak. 

It’s easy to decipher when an individual comes up to you for genuine inquiries, versus when they would have ulterior intentions. A few of them were nervous, he could tell by the way they failed to maintain eye contact or tripped over their words. On the other hand, some seemed all too confident in their approach. 

He didn’t know if you acted so kindly just to get a rise out of him or if you truly were oblivious. The desire to rip those men apart was present, but he could maintain his cool. So instead he would hover closer to you and shoot a distasteful glare at anyone whom he deemed a nuisance. His hand would hover over the small of your back. He longed to move his hand only an inch closer but the realization that he’s never touched you there before keeps such an act at bay. 

You can practically feel his eyes starting a hole through the back of your head whenever those types of interactions occur. Yet you pretend not to notice.

Your bags fill up quickly and keep both of your hands occupied. Suddenly, Bi-Han takes them out of your hands.“Thank you,” you respond, only to hear a grunt in response. “I think I have everything, we may head back.” He nods and leads you back, keeping a small pace ahead of you. You quietly follow along, glancing at his form again before keeping your eyes trained on the path ahead. The trip itself was brief and unimportant, but even so, you appreciated his company. 

—------------------

You were decent, but you were not an accomplished cook. You had merely helped your mother in making the soup on occasion, so you prayed that you remembered the recipe well enough. 

Bi-Han hovered nearby as you set the ingredients out in front of you. You looked at him and then back at the needed items. He seemed so focused on your every move. Cooking for yourself was one thing, but preparing food for another was an uncertain affair. You hoped you would not disappoint. 

Your knife slices through the meat, “you’re making me nervous.”

Bi-Han crossed his arms, “how?”

“You’re watching me like you’re about to tally points for an exam.” 

“I’m curious as to how you prepare it, I’m simply observing.”

You motion over to the rest of the ingredients on the table, “doing triumphs observing.” 

He wants to counter your claim, but something within him quiets the retort. He grabs some of the vegetables you’ve put aside and creates a precise blade of ice. He finds himself enjoying slicing through the needed components. The precision in maintaining a consistent width is something he’s keen on.

The atmosphere in the kitchen is calm. And you again take silent delight at the domestic feel. Soon enough you’ve thrown every ingredient into the pot on the stove and you both quietly clean up. “It’ll take a while to cook.” You catch sight of an exit to the kitchen that leads out into a quaint veranda. Bi-Han follows your gaze and starts towards it, you follow him and sit down on the bench. Dusk has already arrived and you close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. Your husband is leaning up against a wooden beam so you gently pat the open spot next to you. Not a word leaves his mouth but he obliges to your request. You want to hold his hand, but instead, you hook your arm around his. You can feel him tense up. You try to drown out the sense of slight disappointment, was he still so opposed to your touch? Still, he hasn’t pulled away so you don’t breach the topic. 

He wants to wrap an arm around you, draw you nearer to him, but you beat him to it when your arm wraps around his, and before he knows it your head is resting against his shoulder. 

Your fingertips gently trace up his forearm to his bicep. His arm tenses just enough for you to notice but the more time that passes, the more relaxed he becomes. You don’t know how long you repeat the motion, lost in the serene ambiance that accompanies you both this evening. 

Bi-Han has rarely allowed himself a simple pleasure like this. Your effortless touch has indulged an unspoken desire of his. 

“You’re strong.” 

He glances down towards you, you seem so small compared to him. “Of course I am.” 

You let out a small laugh “Yes, but I am increasingly reminded of it when I look at your physique.” Your nails gently run down his arm and he feels the hair on the back of his neck rise. You turn your face to look up at him, you’re both rather close. He is inclined to look away, turn from the object of his temptations, but you draw him in nonetheless. For once, he wants to lean forward ever so slightly, but the opportunity evades him when you turn away. 

Your heart is beating fast, you haven’t gotten this close to him before. “I have to go to check the soup.” You stand up quickly. And although he mourns the loss of your touch, he lets you go.

You return to the kitchen, stirring the pot while attempting to cool yourself down. 

‘What was that?’ Both of you are left slightly surprised at the sense of longing that has seeped into the two of you, unbeknownst to the other. 

—------------------

He remained outside. Against his own perceived notions, he had enjoyed today.

You continued the task of preparing the soup, carefully pouring it into a bowl for each of you before placing it on the table. The chill in the air reaches you as you venture out to retrieve your husband. He hasn’t spoken since you went back to the kitchen, keeping his eyes trained on the sky above.

“Bi-Han, the soup is done.”

He turns back to look at you, the moonlight is illuminating your face. Your eyes hold a softness within them that he finds himself yearning for. “I’ll be there.” He turns his back towards you again. You could nag him, but you find yourself placing a hand on his shoulder instead, “Come on.” Something unspoken lays between you two, but he doesn’t utter a word. His hand just barely brushes up against yours as if he meant to pat it. He gets up and sits at the table. You resume your place across from him.“Try it. I’m not promising anything amazing, but something decent.” You push the bowl towards him and cross your arms on the table, anticipating his response. 

He takes a sip, it’s somewhat bitter, more savory. It reminds him of his mother’s meals. She wasn’t the best cook. Yet when it came to him and his brother, she wanted to ensure at least one meal of the day was of her hands. His mother was strict, and dedicated to the stern and rigorous ways of Lin Keui. 

But still, she loved him in her own way. Whether it was ensuring he ate well, binding up his wounds from training, or staying by his side as he fell asleep. The loss of his mother and its repercussions haunted him. No matter how many days, weeks, or years went by, there would always be something rendering his life incomplete. But here, even if it’s just for a moment, the burden of evading her memory is lifted. He allows himself to be taken back to a simpler time. 

You eat the soup in silence with him. Any attempt to obtain feedback on your cooking lies unspoken on your tongue. You are eager to ask, but something about him seems relaxed. Genuinely relaxed. So you decide you’ll wait for him to voice his opinions, but that never comes. 

He finishes the meal quietly. 

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

—------------------

To be honest, you don’t even like chicken and mushroom soup that much. You wouldn’t have chosen to make it, but you decide that he doesn’t need to know that. It’ll remain your secret. 

—------------------

You both retire to your quarters soon after, taking solace in a newfound sense of familiarity.

You both are yet to change in front of one another, but that’s not at the forefront of your mind. You’re content with the fact that you’ve chipped away at part of the invisible wall that resides between you both. 

The bed seems softer today, and more welcoming. And you know it’s because your husband has finally come to bed with you. Under the comforting veil of night, you dare to lay facing him and he returns the sentiment. For now, he allows himself the quaint pleasure of being able to look at you without loathsome yearning. 

You made him feel odd, dragging him out of his usual state of being to the point where it slightly unnerved him. The realization clawed its way to the forefront of his brain; that as the day went on, he didn’t find being in your company as a responsibility to be fulfilled. Your presence was comforting. 

You were tired. Your eyes start to feel heavy before a knock sounds at the door. “Who is that?”

Bi-Han gets up, ignoring your question, and goes off to speak to someone in the hallway. You can barely make out the words being exchanged, but suddenly you’re watching your husband move about the room. You avert your eyes when he gets changed, although you do sneak a glance this time. You snap out of it when he’s grabbing his mask. Your feet scramble to get out of bed and catch him when he gets to the door. Your hand grasps his forearm. 

“Wait! You have to leave now?”

“Yes.” You intake a sharp breath of air, and he seems to notice your startled state. “What?” He says in a more lighthearted tone than you’re used to, “Did you foolishly assume the Lin Keui only operated in the morning?”

“No…” You took a deep breath. You’d expect him to pull away from you and leave, but he didn’t. It seemed like he was waiting for you to lift your hand. You’ve never seen him off like this. You knew this was part of what he did, what their clan did, and still a part of you felt worried. You looked up to meet his gaze, his eyes expressed more than his mouth ever could. When you first met him, you found his eyes to be cold and calculating, but something was different now. 

“Be safe.” You said softly. Your hand gently finds its way down to his before you pull away. He gives you a small nod and moves to go out the door. You see him pause and think that maybe he’s forgotten something. But before you can ask he returns to you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you forward. He leans down and hastily places a kiss on your forehead, “I’ll return soon.” And like that, he’s off. 

You watch him leave and wonder how such a simple interaction could evoke so much warmth within you. 

—------------------

Thanks for reading 💙

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[matan4il]

a cultural question for you because I’m curious: here in the US, people dress up for funerals, usually in formal black for mourning. of course a lot of that is a holdover thing shared with England, and most Americans’ concept of a funeral would be people in somber, modest but nice attire in pews in a church. it’s true at Jewish funerals too, though. I noticed the funerals in Israel are much more informal, is there a reason for that? or is is just the norm? asking this totally respectfully, there’s nothing wrong with it at all!, but it interested me.

I’m sorry it’s a question brought up because of such unbearable heartbreak.

Hi Nonnie!

You know, I never realized this, but then I've only seen American funerals in movies and TV shows, so I couldn't know how much it reflects reality, or the fact that American characters even wake up in the morning, after a night of casual sex, with perfect hair and make up...

I would think the tendency to wear informal clothes comes from certain Jewish traditions, like how our dead must be buried as quickly as possible, so see sometimes get the news about a funeral being held on the day it's about to take place, which means not a lot of time for dressing up. Another thing is that our funerals are not held in our houses of worship. The living must be separated from the dead in Judaism, so our cemeteries are usually outside our cities and towns, while our synagogues are built within them. Another thing is that a rabbi doesn't have to be there for a funeral. A representative of chevra kadisha is enough. That means that while a funeral is important, it is not exactly a sacred thing. Judaism sanctifies life, not death, so even though death is treated with respect, it's not treated as holy, if that makes sense? It's a very fine difference, but it's there. Also, our shiva is different from a wake, in the sense that people come to comfort the grieving family all week long, so dressing up for it when you come by after work is not required. On American shows and movies, wakes are presented as an event, it's hosted, and the host must provide food to the guests and the right kind of space to gather in, while a shiva is a part of the Jewish muorning customs, where we grieve together, but it's the community that supports the grieving family, bringing them food, checking in on them if they need anything else, and the location is the home of the deceased, so there's something a lot more casual about it. All these things should affect Jewish funerals in the US as well. If it didn't, that might be an influence of non-Jewish customs, I'm not sure. I never attended a Jewish American funeral either.

Then again, the answer might also be way simpler than all of this: Isreal is a very hot country, and funerals are held in cemeteries, not in air conditioned houses of worship. It's hot, which makes formal dress a nightmare, especially for a funeral held in the noon and afternoon hours, as many Jewish funerals are. It's just practical to not come in formal clothes.

As you can see, these are my educated guesses based on what I'm familiar with. Thank you for giving me a moment to reflect on this, it was interesting to consider... I hope my answer sort of helps. If anyone feels like they can shed more light on this, please do! Have a good day. xoxox

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Impulse

AN: Um so, I wasn't supposed to post this, let alone be working on this, today. I blame @majestyjun for violently tossing me back into severe Beomgyu brainrot and, my brain produced this in a few hours as a result. I have 6 other fics I've been actively working on and this is what I did instead. ONE OF THEM IS EVEN A TXT FIC. Either way, enjoy the fruit of my suffering.

Synopsis: After two weeks of no sex while visiting your parents, Beomgyu is beyond frustrated. You completely empathise with your boyfriend but, you're determined to tough it out. You fail to consider just how persuasive Beomgyu can be.

Heads up: Choi Beomgyu x Fem! Reader, established relationship, mostly pwp, dirty talk, pet names, incredibly mild degradation (f. receiving), risky sex, fingering (f. receiving), Monster dick! Beomgyu agenda, Pussy whipped! Beomgyu (is this going to become a thing lol?), Dick whipped! Reader, unprotected piv sex, breeding kink and creampie.

Word count: 1807

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Beomgyu," you chastise when you feel your boyfriend's hand sneak its way up your tank top.

"I can't help it. You just look so hot and you feel so soft. It's been for fucking ever," he groans against your neck, leaving goosebumps in his wake. You pointedly ignore the dull ache you feel between your thighs.

"I know, baby but, we're just here for one more week," you respond sympathetically. It's not as though you don't understand his frustration. If anything, it resonates with you a little too deeply. So many mornings of waking up to him hard and hot and pressed against your thigh have really been testing your own sanity. Having to push down your baser instincts as you get out of bed and get ready to spend another day with your family.

None of this is helped by how needy Beomgyu has been as the days with no sex tick by. Desperate, messy make-out sessions before bed and one night of a quick blowjob not nearly enough for either of you. However, he's been trying to tempt you more and more in recent days, and your fragile composure is dangerously close to shattering.

"I can't do this for another week," he whines, his fingers toying with one of your already hard nipples. Before you can chastise him again, he grinds his fully hard cock against your ass and, words completely fail you.

You bite your bottom lip in an attempt to silence the moan that bubbles up from the action and the sensation of his fingers pinching your sensitive nipple. Instinct is what makes you press your ass back into him, and Beomgyu seems to lose it at that.

"You want this just as badly as I do. Don't worry, baby. We'll be quiet. Make sure noone hears," he whispers while his hand finds itself in your sleeping shorts, and more specifically, your panties.

"Fuck. Shit. You're already wet," he practically moans when he first comes into contact with your pussy. Expert fingers rubbing circles against your clit in the way he knows will render you little better than a whimpering mess.

You try your best to silence your sounds against the pillow. Fingernails digging into his forearm while he rubs your clit and grinds against your ass in search of some sort of relief. You accidentally bite your tongue when he pushes two of his stupidly long fingers inside of you.

"Wanna fuck you so badly. You're so wet and tight and warm," he breathes behind you while his fingers stretch you out. A slightly louder cry flies from your lips when he sinks a third finger into you. Beomgyu doesn't give you much time to get used to the intrusion. Curling his fingers mercilessly inside of you while his filthy mouth keeps going.

"Fuck, I missed this. Missed feeling your pussy. Can't wait to feel you around my cock," he groans, his thumb rubbing fast circles on your clit this time around. Your thighs begin to quiver violently, and you feel the knot in your core tightening with each one of his ministrations. You're embarrassingly close already.

"Are you gonna cum for me, baby? Huh? Already? That's so hot. You're so hot. Please cum for me. I wanna feel you cum."

Between his words and fingers, you never stood a chance. You shove your face deeper into the pillow in an attempt to muffle your whimpers and moans when you do eventually fall apart on his hand. Your mind is too dazed to be certain, but you're pretty sure you can hear Beomgyu still talking. For the life of you, you can't make out what his saying though. Tremors still wreaking havoc on your body as he slowly fingers you through it all.

You haven't cum this hard and quickly in what feels like ages. The one time you caved and touched yourself in the shower a few days ago not coming anywhere close to this. Beomgyu might've seriously spoiled you for anyone else. Even yourself, apparently.

"Baby," you eventually hear him whine desperately against your shoulder as he grinds against your ass more aggressively now. Looks like seeing and feeling you cum did quite the number on him.

"I know, Gyu," you soothe, rubbing his forearm, "I can suck you off," you offer.

You feel him shake his head behind you. Jolting slightly when his fingers move inside of you before he speaks, "I wanna fuck you," he says, the throatiness in his voice making you clench around him instinctively.

This is incredibly stupid and risky but, you're already so far gone and you miss feeling him inside of you.

"Okay."

That's how you find yourself with your face in one of the pillows and your ass in the air for him. Anticipation and desire mixing into a heady cocktail in your system as you hear him shuffling behind you. You'd love to see his face. Beomgyu always makes the most attractive faces but, you're just happy to be getting fucked in general.

You gasp softly when you feel his cock prod at your soaking entrance. Wetness smearing your inner thighs and likely coating his tip. You imagine you're making quite the sight right now. Beomgyu, never one for shyness when it came to you, admitted that one of the reasons taking you from behind is so enjoyable to him is the view he gets.

"You're dripping onto my dick, princess," he whispers, running his cock along your slit and letting your juices cover him. "Beomgyu, don't tease," you respond, meeting his lidded gaze over your shoulder.

You're not sure what he sees on your face but, evidently it's enough to finally get him to push into you. He hasn't even started yet and you already find yourself biting down on the pillow and clawing at the sheets beneath you. Your pussy definitely feels that it's been two weeks without feeling him inside of you. The stretch stinging more than it usually would.

"Relax for me, baby," he coos softly, his thumbs soothingly rubbing your hips as he slowly eases into you. You try your best to. Tears accumulating in the corners of your eyes as he sinks inch after inch into you. God, it feels otherworldly. Even with the slight pain that comes along with feeling him pulse inside of you.

"Fuck," he groans when you take initiative and push yourself back until he's completely sheathed inside of you. The grip he has on your hips becoming bruising as you both try to catch your breaths and regain some semblance of composure.

Your thighs are already shaking, and you let out small whimpers and moans just from feeling him bottom out. His tip brushing against places you still can't comprehend exist sometimes despite being with him for months now. Beomgyu, for his part, seems to be struggling more than you currently. His cock throbbing violently inside of you as he grits out curses and groans between his laboured breathing.

"You little slut. I could've cum," he moans and god, you really wish you could see his face. Before you can fire back a retort, he pulls back before thrusting back into you. The drag of his girthy cock along your walls dissolving your mind into a puddle. One thrust, and you were already a drooling mess.

You're not the only one affected if his strangled moan is anything to go by. His pace picking up considerably once he's sure you've mostly adjusted to him. You pray to whatever deity is willing to listen that the walls of your childhood bedroom are decent. There's no way you two could silence the sounds of skin slapping against skin even if you tried.

He doesn't give you a moment to catch your breath. His cock splitting you open over and over again while all your body can think to do is fist the sheets and take it.

"So wet and tight around my dick," he moans as quietly as he can manage, "Missed this pretty pussy." You feel him spread your ass to seemingly get a better view. A breathy 'fuck' and a particularly brutal thrust confirming your suspicions.

You can tell he's close. He was barely hanging on by a thread when he eased into you but, the uncoordinated nature of his thrusts and increase in sounds tell you all you need to know.

Taking all the energy and brain power you have, you look at him once more over your shoulder, "Beomie, I ah want you to cum insi-inside me pl-please," you whine. The glazed look in his eyes is replaced by something more dangerous. Something more feral. You walls tighten around him in anticipation, and a shiver runs down your spine.

His arms wrap around you while he fucks into you faster, chasing his own release. "Yeah? Does my baby want my cum? Want me to cum inside until it's dripping out of you?" He asks darkly against your ear, nipping the lobe in the process. You're sure he could tell at this point in your relationship but, fuck you love it when he gets like this. You weren't sure if you could cum again but, he certainly is trying to get you there.

"Ye-yes, please. Wa-want it. I need i-it," you whimper in response, a few tears rolling down your heated face.

"Ah fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Your pussy is gonna make me cum," he moans, his cock pulsing incessantly while his thrusts become sloppier and sloppier. "You're gonna take it like a good girl, yeah? Take all of it. Let me breed this pretty pussy until you're filled with nothing but, my cum," he rambles bordering on delirious. His words making you grip him even tighter, "Yes Beomie, please please please."

That does it for him.

His broken whines and moans flood your ears while his cock pulses inside of you. His tip feeling as though it's kissing your cervix with how deeply he's nestled in your pussy. He holds onto you like a lifeline as he rides out his release, his warm cum filling you to what seems like the brim.

For a moment, all that can be heard is your laboured breathing. Beomgyu sagging against you as you two crumple onto the bed.

"Maybe we should wait weeks to have sex more often. That was so fucking hot," he mutters against your shoulder and you valiantly resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"Do you really want to go weeks without having sex again?"

"... Fair point," he responds sheepishly.

You do snort at that. Shaking your head good-naturedly at him.

"So, can we do it again?"

"Beomgyu, you just came,"

"Yeah but, I'll be ready to go in like 20 minutes,"

You love your boyfriend's stamina but, it really was a double-edged sword at times.

[the-witty-pen-name]

Love is Blind Part 5

Eddie Munson x PlusSize!F!Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI - SMUT, PiV sex, semi-public sex, vaginal fingering, kissing/making out, cursing, alcohol, mentions of slut shaming and body shaming, creepy dude hitting on the reader

Story Warnings: reader has low self-esteem and struggles with self love/acceptance, anxiety/trauma related to bullying, cursing, substance use mention

Summary: In a last ditch effort to evade the normal disappointments of dating, a group of misfits desperate to have someone see who they are on the inside volunteer for the most recent brain chemistry study at Hawkins Lab. 

A/N: If I forgot to tag something, please let me know! I'm so sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy. Please consider reblogging if you like it! Thank you for reading! I have absolutely loved this story and I would love to write more for Eddie in the future. Please let me know what kind of things you'd like to see me do next!

Series Masterlist

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the way your skin sparks when Eddie kisses your shoulder. The warmth from him radiates onto you in a way that just swallows you whole. You feel bumps rise across the span of your skin as you feel his shaky breath. His long curls tickle the back of your neck as he pulls himself closer, resting his chin into the crook of your neck. You love waking up like this. 

“G’morning,” he mumbles against your skin, pressing gentle kisses to the spot behind your ear. His large hand slowly glides up and down the curve of your side and he’s completely transfixed by the softness. He massages your side and the coldness of his rings help to wake you up. You can tell he’s been up and dressed this way. He hooks his jean clad leg over yours as you continue to resist waking up and he skillfully pulls you around to face him.

“Morning,” you grumble sleepily, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. Eddie takes the opportunity to swoop in and kiss your cheek, peppering your face with kisses over and over again until you concede and fully open your eyes. 

Eddie thinks you look so beautiful in the morning. You try to argue about your hair, or your morning breath, or whatever else to put yourself together first. He doesn’t care. He thinks you look cute with your cheek squished up against the pillow and he loves to let you sleep in. He loves how once he gets up, you’ll sprawl out and take over the whole bed. He loves how you practically burrow yourself into the blankets but leave one leg out. 

“It’s almost noon,” he remarks gently, moving your hair back into place for you. “We still have a few hours before the gig later and I’d love to spend them with you if you’re up to being awake, princess.” 

It’s been a blissful few months- Eddie’s toothbrush sharing a cup with yours in the bathroom, his sneakers strewn amongst your pile of shoes by the front door, his clothes from the weekend mixed in with your weekly laundry which get added to the drawer in your dresser you let him claim. Most Thursday through Sunday night, he’s crashing with you because your date nights seem to seep into several days. 

He takes out your trash, because he knows you hate it. He writes dirty limericks on the fog of the mirror after he showers because he knows you’ll laugh when you see it. You fake annoyance but he knows you don’t actually want him to stop. Eddie will let you braid his hair when you’re bored, and paint his nails. You paint his nails black and he says it looks “metal” when you accidentally get some polish on his cuticles. 

“C’mere,” you mumble, pulling him down next to you, and he gives in. You snuggle against his chest after he settles and you breathe in the smell of smoke that lingers on his shirt. He rubs your back comfortingly, coaxing you awake gently. 

His hair tickles your cheek when he leans down to kiss your head. You scrunch your face at the sensation and it makes him chuckle. 

“So, I gotta meet up with the guys to load the van in a few hours,” he says. 

“Yeah,” you reply, beginning to sit up, “I gotta quickly stop in at work and grab my check. Kenny forgot to sign it. I figured I’d stop there first, then stop at the bank to cash it before it closes- that way I have some cash for drinks and whatever.”

“Nah, don’t bother, just put all your stuff on my tab. I was gonna open one for us when I’m there with the guys for soundcheck.”

“I really don’t-”

“Nope,” he says, accentuating the ‘P,’ “I’m not one of those deadbeat guys who doesn’t pay for his girl’s drinks.”

“Fine,” you smile, “but I still need to get my check and deposit it.”

“Do you want me to go get lunch?” he offers. “I can run out and grab something from Banny’s for us while you get ready.” 

“With extra fries?” you smile. 

“And cherry coke,” he notes, kissing you on the lips. You smile, and watch as he grabs his denim jacket. He winks at you as he closes the door to your apartment. You’re beaming from ear to ear at his dopey smile. It’s sickening. You’re like a couple from a cheesy rom-com that you never thought was real. 

Eddie’s waiting at one of the booths waiting for the to-go order when someone interrupts his most recent reread of The Two Towers. It’s a voice he’d recognize anywhere, he doesn’t even need to look up to know who it is. 

“Eddie? Eddie Munson?”

“Oh, shit- Chrissy, hey,” he says, placing his book pages down to save his spot. She looks the same, but just a little older, just like him. She looks like how everyone kind of always expected her to turn out. Healthy, successful, glowing, all of the adjectives that would come to mind when people think of Hawkin’s sweetheart Chrissy Cunningham. 

“Wow, you look great,” she compliments. A long time ago, that would have been something Eddie would have collapsed to hear. It felt like a lifetime ago when Eddie would hang onto every word or look she would grace his way. Today? Eddie is just more mildly annoyed that he needs to make small talk with someone from high school. Life is funny like that sometimes.

Eddie can admit, he does look good. He’s grown into himself a little more since Chrissy last saw him. He’s more confident these days, having grown into himself. He’s also found his person. He’s no longer plagued with his past fears of loneliness and he doesn’t fill his time anymore worrying about rejection. He’s in his prime right now, and he owes it all to you. He recognizes now that he held Chrissy up on this pedestal- but it wasn’t really Chrissy. It was this fictional idea that he made up in his head about her. How beneath the surface, she was different, she could see through his walls. She wouldn’t care about what other people thought of him. He wanted that movie moment. And he got so much more than that now. Now, all of it to him is much more clear. It was a school crush. He’s so much happier now. 

“Thanks,” he says, hoping his indifference isn’t glaringly obvious. He gets his hopes up the bag on the counter is his, but unfortunately the number called out isn’t his. So much for his hope of a quick getaway. 

“Eddie, listen- um, this is kind of crazy but like, I have been hoping to run into you,” she says with a hesitant tone that Eddie has difficulty reading. He worries he did something he forgot about. At the same time, he’s still only half paying attention, watching Benny from the corner of his eye to assess the take-out situation.

“Oh?” He asks, dumbly. 

“Yeah, can I sit?” She asks. He gulps, and nods reluctantly, giving up hope of getting back to his book. 

She’s wearing a mom outfit, Eddie notes. It feels odd to say but Eddie doesn’t know anything about fashion. It’s just more mature than the cheer uniform. Slacks and a button down and what he thinks is probably a cashmere sweater. Her hair is shorter. He notices the diamond on her left ring finger, as she toys with it anxiously. 

“So, what’s up?” Eddie asks.

“This is going to sound ridiculous,” she begins, taking a shaky breath. “Um, I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Uh, sure,” Eddie says awkwardly, shifting in his seat. How long does it take for two burgers? 

“I’ve been thinking a lot,” she sighs, “And I know this is totally coming out of left field and we haven’t talked in like years. But, I just wanted to let you know that I’m engaged. And I can’t stop thinking about how I should be happier. I really thought I wanted to be with Jason, and thought I’d be excitedly planning my wedding but I just keep on having these huge existential what if  questions running in my head.”

“I’m not really the right person to be talking about this with- maybe like a thera-” 

“I’m just thinking about all those times you were so unbelievably great. I just am realizing I don’t want what I actually thought I wanted. I was young and insecure and had this preconceived idea of like what I wanted, or who I should want. And I was terrible to you, and you were just so wonderful. I just really, really regret it. I just keep thinking about you lately. Your own my mind constantly-”

“Chrissy, I-”

“And I kept thinking if I ever saw you again, I would just be spontaneous and plead for forgiveness. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry, and I was so wrong and I realize now how foolish I was. I know this is such a long shot, but if you would ever be willing to maybe try us- you and me. I would break off with Jason for good. Because, Eddie, I was so, so wrong. You are just so incredible, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize.”

“Chrissy, I’m sorry, I really hope you find what you want and you find someone you can be happy with. Either if that’s Jason or someone else, but it’s not me. I found my person.”

“O-oh.” 

“Yeah, I am serious Chrissy, I wish you nothing but the best. But, I don’t think you and I could have ever worked. You’re great, but you and I weren’t meant to be. Even if in some crazy alternative reality we ended up together, it wouldn’t have worked out and I still would’ve found her. It’s hard to explain, but once you find it, like really find that one person, you can’t even imagine being this happy with someone else. It just doesn’t happen more than once.” 

“Order 107.”

“Uh, that’s me,” he says awkwardly, “Listen, uh, he’s out there.” He offers her a sympathetic smile and she nods as he gets up and grabs the bag off the counter. Eddie doesn’t want to leave her like this, but at the same time he doesn’t owe her anything. They haven’t seen each other in years, and she couldn’t have expected him to wait it out for her to decide she was ready for him. 

He offers one more friendly wave before he walks out, leaving Chrissy stunned. Probably wondering if she actually just got rejected by Eddie Munson. He can’t help but feel a little proud of himself- how far he’s come and how secure he feels now. Had Chrissy pulled that stunt a year ago? He might’ve crumbled and would have missed out the best thing that ever happened to him. 

He wishes he could go back and tell his past self that he’d actually be the one to reject Chrissy. He’d know this indescribable happiness, and have the greatest girl in the world back home waiting for him. Running into Chrissy feels like nothing but just a pothole in the road on his drive back to you. He can’t wait to tell you, and tease you about what a catch of a boyfriend you have. Most of all, to tell you thank you for showing him that he deserves to be treated so much better. 

Eddie recounts the whole thing to you over burgers at your little kitchen table. He tells you everything, down to the little details of how he swears it took 2 hours for him to get out of there when in actuality he left and came back in a span of 45 minutes. If it had been another guy, you can see the old you being so worried. Paranoid he’d leave you in a split second for the prettier, skinnier girl. She would be the one he actually wanted, and he had settled for you. But this wasn’t any other guy. This was Eddie. Absolutely, head over heels, act like a goofball falling over backwards to prove how much he loves you Eddie. 

It just felt like listening to him telling a work story. A sequence of events that mildly inconvenienced his day, but in no way affects your real world. You have never felt this secure before. You’re pretty sure you could leave Eddie in a room with Brooke Shields and Pamela Anderson and Eddie would just show them the polaroid of you he keeps in his wallet. 

You’re watching an episode of The A Team together when Eddie reluctantly drags himself away to get ready to go. “I think you should redo your van- I can help you. Paint the whole thing black and then add the red swoop. It would look really cool.” 

“I’ll get right on that,” he retorts, leaning in to kiss you. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“I love you,” you smile, kissing him again. 

“Love you too,” he replies, flashing one of his signature cheesy grins. 

You spend way too much time thinking about your outfit. It’s one of those days when none of your clothes feel right and none of the outfits look as good on as they did in your head. You’d met all the guys before, but this was the first gig Corroded Coffin has had since you and Eddie had started dating. You’ve seen them rehearse a million times, but this is the first time you’ll get to see them in their element. 

Eddie’s been a nervous wreck. He’s used to playing dive bars with crowds never bigger than twenty people. This gig is nothing out of the ordinary except that he wants nothing more than to impress you. He knows he’ll relax once he sees you. He just wants to show you that you aren’t wasting your time with him or something. He knows he’s not like other guys. He’s blue collar, mechanic by day, wannabe musician by night. He can’t give you everything he wants to give you.

He wants to buy you expensive jewelry and pamper you with whatever you want. He wants to give you the world. He knows you don’t care about any of that, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t still want to spoil you any less. In a weird way, he thinks that by playing well tonight, he can show you that he has a chance- he could make it and really be someone. That it will be worth it if you stick around. He knows it’s foolish. He knows you don’t need impressing, but he wants to be impressive. 

They finish up their first song when he catches you walking in. He think he might pass out- he thinks you had to have done this on purpose. The low top, the short skirt, those fucking sexy tights- you’re legitimately trying to kill him. He fumbles over his words introducing the next song when you blow him a kiss and he notices the red lipstick. His mind is foggy, thinking immediately of what happened the last time you wore lipstick like that. Fuck. 

He tries his best to remain composed, but his eyes follow you as you venture further into the venue. His breath hikes when he watches the way your chest presses when you lean into the bar to order a drink, and how your skirt hikes ever so slightly. He feels the sweat bead down his temple when he notices your thighs when you sit on one of the nearby barstools. He tries to think of literally anything else to help him calm down as he discreetly uses his guitar to hide the reaction he has to watching you bite into the cherry that came with your drink, completely clueless that your lips wrapping around it had any sort of implication. He’s just entirely turned on and he thinks anything you do is insanely sexy. 

You notice Eddie is looking a little shaken, and you just assume he’s nervous. It never even dawns on you that this is something you’re doing to him inadvertently. You’re feeling so out of your comfort zone in this outfit you threw together. You’re too busy adjusting and fixing your posture to realize Eddie is practically drooling looking at you. You also don’t even notice how you’ve managed to draw the attention of someone else either.

“Hey,” you hear someone say over the music. You turn to face the voice and you’re met with a guy who looks like he would’ve bullied you in school. This man looks like a former frat boy who never fully grew up. He looks like a jock that would’ve asked you out on a date as a joke or to win a bet. Your guard immediately goes up, bracing yourself for a snarky comment, and your hard instinctively begins to hover over your drink. You move it to your lap so it’s less obvious you're keeping it covered. He doesn’t notice anyways.

“Name’s Dom,” he says over the music. “What’s yours? You offer him your name but it looks like he didn’t fully catch it. He doesn’t ask you to repeat yourself. “Can I buy you a drink?” 

“I have one already, but thanks for the offer,” you respond politely before turning your attention back to Eddie. He’s already got his eyes on you when you look over. You smile, feeling so safe that he’s here. 

“You like one of their groupies or something?” The guy asks, annoyed after your rejection. “You holding out for one of them? Cause I’m doing you a favor coming over here. Most guys aren’t even going to give you a chance.” 

“I have a boyfriend,” you reply, pointing to Eddie. He looks pissed. He’s staring daggers into the guy who’s approached you. You can see Eddie’s knuckles turning white and the way his eyes flared with possessiveness. 

“No offense to him,” the guy scoffs, “but he doesn’t look like he can handle you.” 

“Look, I appreciate the offer for the drink, but I’m just here to watch my boyfriend play. I’m not interested.” 

You hear him mumble an untasteful insult under his breath as he shakes his head and walks away. You aren’t that surprised. Of course the insults come flying out the second he doesn't get what he wants. He assumed you’d be an easy score and he’s mad when you don’t give in immediately. You watch him walk over back to his group of friends. Just in case, you hand your drink back to the bartender and ask for a new one. 

Eddie’s fuming. He couldn’t hear what was said but he had a pretty good idea about what just went down. He’s not mad another guy would approach you, like no shit, he has eyes. He knows what you look like. He also knows he trusts you to shoo them away. He couldn’t help but still feel a little irrationally possessive. He didn’t like the look of that guy, or how he was looking at you, or how what he said was making you clearly uncomfortable. 

When the set ends, a group of people flock over to the side of the small stage. They offer compliments, ask to buy the band a drink, buy a tape, whatever. You beam with pride, incredibly happy that they are enjoying their success and you’re so happy their talent is getting recognized. 

You can tell Eddie is being polite, but he’s directing people to talk to the other guys while he squeezes past them to get to you. It’s a really, really good feeling. He just wants to find you. He strides over to you and you’re a little taken aback by how determined and quick he is to kiss you, but it was very much welcome. He holds your face in his hands and he kisses you like he’s gone weeks without you. 

You sigh happily, and part your lips for him. You feel him step between your legs and he moves his hands to rest on your thighs. It feels electric. You feel your entire body heat at the sensation. You can feel him pressing up against you now, straining against his jeans. He rubs your legs slowly as he slows down his kiss, making it a little more sensual. You love the feeling of his hands caressing you, that you don’t notice until Eddie mumbles an embarrassed yet still aroused so he doesn’t really care “fuck” when he realizes his rings accidentally ripped your tights. He pulls away so you can look at what he did. 

It wasn’t a big deal, it was just a couple of runs that made some holes in the thighs of your tights. They were fishnets so it was inevitable. It wasn’t a big deal. While you look, Eddie is staring so intently at you, his chest rising rapidly as he pants to catch his breath. Pulling away was worse, he realized. He was witness to everything now- your messy hair, your swollen lips, the new holes in your tights… He couldn’t bear it anymore. 

“Let’s go,” he says, eyes pouring into yours so intensely, and it makes you melt like putty in his hands. You couldn’t care less where he was taking you with his hand wrapped securely around your waist as he guided you out the side door. You don’t notice how he looks back and flips off the guy who approached you as he holds open the door for you. When the door closes behind him, his hands are both on your waist again, pulling you flush against his body. 

He leans down to kiss your neck and his hands run up and down your sides, palms running along the contour of your curves. “Mine,” he mumbles against your skin before biting down on the sensitive skin, sure to leave a mark. “All mine,” he murmurs as his hands squeeze your ass. You gasp, surprised at his sudden expression of PDA. You can’t find it in you to care that you're in the alley beside the bar, all you can think about Eddie’s hands, and the way his rings are leaving goosebumps on your skin as he rubs your back from underneath your shirt. 

He loves the little sounds you make when you react to his touch. It makes his chest swell knowing he’s the one that makes you feel good, he’s the one who gets to touch you like this. It makes him more daring. 

“E-Eddie,” you shiver, a mixed reaction to his touch and also the nights cool air when it hits your skin. 

“C’mon,” he mumbles into the crook of your neck as he gently pulls you towards his van. With one swift kick in the right spot, the back door swings open for him so he doesn’t even need to take his hands off of you. 

”The guys will be in there turning their livers yellow for hours,” he jokes. “M’lady.” He gestures for you to climb into the back of his van. You roll your eyes, but happily oblige. He shamelessly checks out your ass as you crawl in, noticing the black panties poking out from under your skirt. Closing the door behind him, he runs his hands up the back of your thighs and you moan at the feeling. It was absolutely filthy. 

You feel his large hands take their time admiring your skin and you can feel his eyes burning into you as he stares at how you’re splayed out in front of him. He’s devilishly grinning as he flips up your skirt. As his hands massage the skin of your ass, you feel a snag on your tights and they tear directly across the top of your underwear. 

“Oops,” he says, not even attempting to be convincing. You can hear the smile he’s sporting as your jaw drops in shock that one, Eddie tore your tights and most likely is going to tear your underwear and two, you really fucking liked it. 

“Fuck, look at you,” he marvels, admiring his handy work and you hear him fumble with the buckle of his belt. You press back into him impatiently and Eddie lets out a deep groan. You can feel how hard he is against his boxers and you bite your lip with anticipation. 

“Please,” you whine, desperate for him. It’s at this moment, Eddie has a fleeting thought that he wishes he could somehow take a mental image of this and show the version of him that almost didn’t show up to the lab that first day. How all the fucking torment and isolation in a weird way feels like some sort of trial he had to overcome to get you. A year ago, he was sitting alone in his room getting off and getting high to avoid the feelings of loneliness and now he’s got the sexiest woman he’s ever seen pressing herself against him begging for him to fuck her. Funny how things work out sometimes. And in Eddie’s case, about damn time. 

You feel the weight of his rings dig into your skin as his fingers pull your panties to the side. You moan involuntarily when you feel his long fingers slide into your folds, and you swear you hear him marveling at the sensation of you. It’s like this hasn’t happened dozens of times before- it’s like the first time over and over again. 

It’s not until you feel like putty from your first orgasm does Eddie even think about fucking you. It’s when you’re completely blissed out from the way his fingers pulled you apart that he finally gives in to your pleas.

He’s hands hold your sides, fingertips digging into your love handles. Before Eddie, you would’ve been self-conscious, but he’s shown you that not only are they okay, they’re sexy. He loves to hold your sides, and feel your soft skin as he fucks you. He praises and worships every part of you. Everything you’ve tried to hide, he naturally gravitates towards, making you feel so overwhelmingly loved. 

It’s crazy to think about it this way when what the two of you were doing was downright filthy. Eddie has his jeans tugged halfway down his thighs, sweat gathering at his brow and has you bent over in the back of his van. You’re making no attempt to stifle your moans and you let your body rocks back into him as he stretches you. It’s probably the most desperate you’ve both been- all the times before have been lighthearted, romantic, lovemaking. This? Definitely not that. But equally as passionate. 

“Fuck, you look so good,” Eddie praises, marveling at the sight of you in front of him. He groans, watching his length pump in and out of your pussy. He bites his lip, his eyes roaming down your back, just taking in the sight of you like this- laid out and completely wrecked for him. “Feel so tight,” he moans. 

You can hardly talk as his thrusts become more desperate. You feel the all too familiar warmth begin to swell up through you body. You whine almost pathetically, and it encourages Eddie to keep his pace, emboldened with his desire to make your cum again before he finishes. You gasp, his name repeatedly falling from your lips as the sensation takes over your whole body. When your orgasm ripples out, you can feel yourself become shaky, very tired from the sensation. 

Eddie grip on your tightens and you can tell he’s close. You beg him to finish inside of you, and he swear you hear him almost fumble, entirely overwhelmed with you. He lets his head fall back as he gives into the feeling. He praises you as he finishes, panting how much he loves you, how good you feel. When he pulls out, he bends over and rests his forehead on your back and catches his breath, breathing heavy but still affectionately leaving kisses on your warm skin. 

“You’re incredible,” he sighs against your skin. He collapses next to you and pulls you into his side. “Fuck,” he exclaims, grinning from ear to ear. He kisses your forehead, stroking your arm affectionately. 

He kisses you again and helps you to clean up. He sheepishly apologizes for the huge tears in your tights. You tell him not to worry about it. You can’t find it in you to care about them even a little bit. 

He helps you into the passenger seat, and kisses your temple. He leans into your touch when your hands cup his face. “I promise I’ll get this shit loaded up fast,” he promises as he realizes the guys will be getting ready to bring out their equipment soon. “I told them they couldn’t bum a ride, I wanted to drive home just us. So, you have me all to yourself,” he teases. 

“Can I pick the music?” You counter, eyebrow raised. He nods, kissing you again quickly before you watch him disappear back into the club to help the guys load the van. You rest your head on your shoulder, sinking into the seat, knowing you need to rest up for the continuation of tonight’s events when Eddie gets you both back to your place. 

TAGS:

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[tadpolebrains]

I love your headcanons <3

I wanted to request one for Gale and his love on their first morning together in his tower in Waterdeep.

Ayyy ty! Glad my random rambling is enjoyable XD <3

First Morning in Waterdeep

• I’d imagine that the night before the first morning waking up there is when there would be a lot of emotions. It’s as you’re both getting there, knowing you’re about to have what is probably the first full night of proper rest in weeks that it sets in for both of you that… it’s over. There’s no more tadpoles, no more netherbrain… but also no more Netherese Orb.

• That’s what hits Gale the hardest that night. Because this tower is where he spent his prolonged time in isolation because of the orb, waiting out his days. There’s still scattered magic items around, dozens of books and random papers all over the floor, it’s… a mess. He’s a bit embarrassed about the mess at first, briefly considered trying to cast an illusion so you wouldn’t see it, but… well, you’d seen him at his worst already, hadn’t you?

• You probably wouldn’t have believed him if the tower was spotless anyway. Or Tara would have called him out.

• Regardless, when you two get into bed that night, on an old, creaky mattress that Gale swears he’ll get replaced if it bothers you, you fall asleep in each other’s arms. Gale cries that night, whether from relief, grief for the years past, or joy for the future, even he couldn’t tell you. But neither of you say anything about it. Just hold each other close.

• You lightly trace the place on his chest where the orb used to reside as he starts to drift off.

• You don’t technically get a first morning in the tower together the next day, because it’s past noon when you finally wake up. You’ll count it as morning, though.

• Neither of you even particularly want to get up at first. You’re warm in the bed, and for the first time in weeks there isn’t a need to force yourselves up. So you lay there together.

• Gale will mumble small things every so often. There’s no real order to them- for once, you have the time to make idle conversation without any looming threats over your heads. So you talk about everything and nothing, not even caring about what time it is.

• He idly traces patterns along your skin as you lay together, or lightly taps little rhythms.

• When you do get up, it’s because you’re both hungry. Though Gale does offer to get up to make ‘breakfast’ (it’s well into the afternoon at that point) and bring it to you in bed, he also just doesn’t want to let go of you. So you end up standing there, arms slung around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder as he cooks.

• You might distract him a few times, pressing lazy kisses to his cheeks, his neck. Breakfast ends up a little burnt. It’s perfect, though.

• Once you two decide to actually function, he gives you the ‘grand tour,’ which consists mostly of him pointing out random magical trinkets or going on long-winded rants about some of the books strewn about. If any of the books seem to catch your attention, he puts them in a designated pile so you can find them later.

• It isn’t long before you’ve both just settled back down again, whether on a couch or just getting back into the bed. Gale picks up one of the books from the pile and starts reading it aloud to you, Tara coming over to curl up at his feet.

• You drift off to sleep that night to the soft sound of his voice filling the air like a lullaby, feeling a gentle kiss on your forehead as you slip off, and a murmured “goodnight, my love.”

[laheyxlover]

Stuck Between Part 2

Quinn Hughes x Reader x Trevor Zegras

Part 2! Part 1, Part 3

Warnings: Mention of sex, slight guilt-tripping, shitty exes, Slight spice and angst.

Summary: A pool day with Trevor Zegras sounded amazing until you were brought back to your rocky relationship with Quinn. Somehow both boys felt so far away.

Pls send requests!

It was noon when you woke up, Trevor’s bed was soft with navy blue sheets. You frowned slightly as the memories from last night poured in.

“Go back to bed..” Trevor groaned as he threw his leg over yours to keep you in place. Trevor had stayed up all night and you both smoked weed in his bathroom. He was there to comfort you and you learned so much about him. 

And true to his word, he pulled you closer to him when he opened his eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” You asked softly, giving Trevor a look that had him hardening in his sweatpants.

“No…” Trevor mumbled seeing the dejected look on your face. He reached out with one hand and dropped the joint into the water. He cupped your face in his hand softly rubbing your cheek. 

“Sweet girl, I want nothing more than to kiss you right now. But we just shared two joints and I want you to be sure about what you're asking me right now.” Trevor mumbled, his sentence fading out of his mouth and into your ears. You didn’t even consider that the sudden confidence boost could be related to the weed. 

“Oh, right..” You mumbled pulling away from him embarrassed.

“I want to kiss you, but I can wait. I have waited for the last three years.” His voice echoed in your ears as he smiled softly at you. 

“Can I kiss you?” Trevor asked softly, the warm sunshine made his hair glow against the pillow. 

You nodded as you leaned forward, you had no idea what was going on between the two of you. Something was different with you and Trevor. But then again Quinn had never raised his voice at you like that before. So everything was different now. 

Trevor cupped your face with his hand, before leaning in softly. 

So maybe too much changed in one night, which was stupid to you because Trevor simply was your friend. A friend who promised to kiss you, but it could’ve also been his weird sense of humor. However, a small part of you was hoping it wasn’t some weird joke to him. 

As Trevor moved to softly press his lips against yours, you both froze in place. Lips only a few centimeters as the echo of Quinn’s voice finds you both from the hall and brings you both back to reality. 

Trevor sighed as he pulled away, this wasn’t how he planned to win the girl. As much as he wanted to wake up to your face every morning. He refused to start something with you if that meant you losing Quinn. 

“How am I going to face Quinn?” You breathed out quickly, stumbling over your words. 

Trevor sent a reassuring smile, “I will lay off the flirting. I want to kiss you, but I think Quinn has the right to tell you how he feels”. 

“You think Quinn likes me?” You stared at him confused. He just said he wanted to kiss you, but he also just said he thinks Quinn has feelings for you. Or maybe you read too much into that. 

“I know so..” Trevor mumbles, throwing his arm over his eyes. Being the bigger man was brutal when you laid next to him. In his bed. With him. 

Trevor kisses your forehead, “Okay! Laying off the flirting..” he rolls back over defensively keeping his arms out when you try to hug him again. 

“You're respectful in such a ‘you’ way..” You teased him lightly. 

“I don’t even know what it means..” Trevor said, pushing himself off the mattress while groaning. 

Your stomach growled, reminding you of how late you had woken up. Bidding Trevor goodbye you made a stop at your room to change clothes before you walked downstairs.

You didn’t know why your friendship with Trevor felt closer. But after last night, Quinn felt like he was miles away from your reach. 

As your feet hit the bottom step, you glance up only to be locked in uncomfortable eye contact with Jack who was watching a baseball game. 

“Is something going on with you and Trevor?” Jack asks, keeping his voice a whisper-yell so that his jealous older brother can’t hear from the hall. 

“Like not platonically?” You raised your eyebrow, softly biting on the corner of your lips. 

“You know what I mean, he practically burst down the door once he heard Quinn raise his voice last night..” Jack said, turning off the TV as you moved to sit next to him. 

“I don’t know, we smoked a ton of weed and then Quinn just started freaking out on me. Jack, I have never seen him that vulnerable before..” You said gauging his reaction carefully. 

“I haven’t heard Quinn yell at anyone like that since Trevor asked you out a few years ago..” Jack said, sighing softly as he saw the concerned expression written on your face. 

“Trevor thinks Quinny is jealous..” You said, to which Jack gave you the sassiest look of his life. 

“You like a sister to me, but you're dumb as fuck..” Jack blurted out. His cheeks turned a soft flushed pink as he realized he said that out loud. 

“Don’t have to be such a dick, Jack..” You lightly glared at him. 

“Sorry- But Quinn has been in love with you since he punched your ex at that party..” Jack said, raising his arms in defense as he watched the mock anger be related to confusion on your face. 

Your face flushed, “But why didn’t he say anything?” you remembered that night well. 

“Come on. No one else cares if we make out on the couch..” Tyler, your boyfriend at the time kept pushing about making out in public. You thought he just liked the attention, but it was almost like he was challenging someone. 

“I don’t know Ty…” Your voice was shy, he had said this at every party. Then he would get shit-faced and go home without you. 

Tyler looked at you, then his gaze moved behind you. Trevor had been staring at you for a while now. It was pissing Tyler off, so he grabbed your chin and pulled you into a kiss. Trevor snapped his eyes away, not wanting to see him make his possessive claim of you. 

But Tyler wasn’t even looking at Trevor, he was looking at Quinn. Since the first time he laid eyes on her, Quinn was enchanted by you. Your smile, your eyes, and your laugh were enough to get him to at the very least be interested in meeting you. But you were too busy frowning as you stared at your boyfriend, slightly annoyed. 

“No!” You said softly moving away from him as Tyler’s eyes snapped to yours. 

Tyler moved to get into your face but Quinn was already rushing away from his spot beside Trevor. Quinn pushed Tyler back roughly. 

“She said no..” Quinn said, keeping his voice at a medium tone. 

“I am getting pretty tired of you staring at my girlfriend..” Tyler said offendedly, standing up to push Quinn back. The harsh shove causes you to sink back into the couch. 

You wanted to crawl into the seat cushions and never come up for air. 

“At least I don’t have to beg a girl to kiss me..”  Quinn’s quick retort causes Tyler to swing at Quinn. But years of hockey had taught Quinn to block and throw a punch right on the nose. 

“Oh shit!” You exclaimed moving away from both the boys until Tyler was running off to grab a towel for his bloody nose. 

Quinn looked at her shyly, like he was uncomfortable around her. Like he didn’t just punch her boyfriend for being pushy with her. 

Jack shrugged as he ate some fruit from the bowl in front of him. 

“Quinn didn’t want to start something right away, you just broke up with Tyler,” Jack said before dropping a grape into his mouth. 

You leaned forward and took one of his apple slices before you sat next to him. 

“How mad is he?” You said as your voice wavered slightly. You cursed your voice internally

“I don’t think he’s mad. I think he is freaking out because he took so long to tell you how he feels. He’s probably worried he lost you..” Jack shrugged as he held out his bowl of fruit to you. 

You smiled and took a grape before popping it in your mouth. 

“Did he lose you?” Jack asks suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence that fell between you. His gaze flickered behind you for a split second, but you thought nothing of it. 

“I honestly don’t know. I guess I always had feelings for Quinn, but I also recently developed a little crush on Trevor…” You breathed out, finally admitting it to someone felt good. Until it didn’t. 

You heard footsteps behind you, whipping your head to see Quinn standing at the bottom of the stairs. 

Quinn’s gaze flickered from you to the ground. Like he couldn’t bear to look at you. 

“Quinn..” You started but shut your mouth closed quickly when his head snapped up to you. 

You had no idea what to even say, it was all so messy. You were never one for drama and your indecisiveness scared you the most right now. 

Jack stood up, wanting to avoid the uncomfortable atmosphere. He made a quick escape to the kitchen. Mumbling something about getting a beer but you didn’t pay much attention to him. 

Quinn sucked in a sharp breath as he finally took a step towards you. “I shouldn’t have waited so long to tell you..” his voice was quiet. The situation reminded you all too much of that party three years ago. 

“It’s not like I was rushing to tell you either..” You felt some of the tension dissolve between the two of you. 

Quinn stepped closer once more, his feet nudging against yours as he looked down at you softly. His eyes were soft and loving, the intensity of his gaze made you feel small. Shrinking away slightly, you take a deep breath. 

“I won’t ask you to choose between Z and I right now…” Quinn said as his arm brushed against the inside of yours. 

“Can we just operate as normal? I just need a little time to think..” You said looking down, refusing to meet his gaze. But if you did look up, you would see the soft smile on his face. 

“I can wait. I have waited three years..” Quinn said before stepping away, the air around you seemed to relax. 

“I am gonna go check on Jack because I am very sure that he is listening in right now..” Quinn said as he made his way to the kitchen. 

Everything should’ve been back to normal. Except it wasn’t at all. You were left feeling even more confused than you had been before. 

Shortly after Quinn left, Trevor walked downstairs. His face lit up into a bright smile when he saw you. His eyes crinkled slightly as he made his way over to you. 

“Pool day?” Trevor offered before he quickly backtracked. “No strings attached, just two friends hanging out..” Trevor rambled on until you nodded. 

“Sure, let me go change..” You said heading up the stairs. After you left Quinn came back to the living room to find you gone. Trevor was scrolling on his phone on the couch. 

“We let her choose..” Quinn said standing a few feet away from the couch. 

“Yeah.” was all Trevor said, Quinn didn’t need to elaborate for Trevor to know what he was talking about. Trevor was almost offended that Quinn had to even say that. 

“If you hurt her..” Quinn started but was cut off by the glare Trevor sent him. They were good friends, Trevor always teasing Quinn. But something changed that between them. That something was you. 

When you came down with your bikini top and a pair of Luke’s swim shorts both boys stared at you for a second too long. Not caring to hide their gaze. 

“Why are you wearing Luke’s swim shorts?” Jack asked as he walked back into the room with a beer. 

You had walked out of your room frustrated, all of your swim bottoms were still wet or in the washer. 

“You good?” Luke asked as he closed the bathroom door behind him. His hair was damp, most likely from a shower. 

“All of my swim bottoms are in the wash or wet..” You pouted slightly before debating wearing the damp bottoms in your bathroom sink. 

“I have one from a few summers ago, not sure if it’ll fit though..” Luke shrugged softly. He was more of the quiet of his brothers. You had once caught him sneaking a beer a few years ago and never told Quinn or Jack. So you had Luke’s loyalty from the start. 

“Please, Lu!” You said smiling at the sweet gesture. 

Luke tilted his head slightly down before heading into his room. After a few moments, you heard shuffling and then Luke emerged from his room with a swim-suit bottom. 

“It had strings…” Luke said cautiously, he wasn’t used to sharing his clothes. But you were practically his sister at this point so he paid no attention to the bright smile on your face. 

You took them smiling, “I knew there was a reason you were my favorite Hughes brother..” you said in a sing-song voice. 

Luke’s face heated up slightly at your teasing, “Okay go away, you're getting annoying..” he mumbled before he headed back to his room. 

“Oh. Lukey was just proving why he's my favorite..” you said to which Trevor barked out a laugh before covering his mouth when the other Hughes boys sent him a glare. 

“That includes you, Trev.” You couldn’t miss the opportunity to make fun of him. Trevor was always teasing you or Quinn so it felt like finally teasing him back. Trevor rolled his eyes playfully. 

You looked at Quinn and took a quiet breath once his eyes locked on you. Quinn’s eyes were scanning over his body before they flickered up to meet yours. He turned his head away flustered. His shy demeanor always melted your bones. 

You turn back to Trevor, “ready to go swim?” you ask which makes Quinn take a quiet breath. You only heard it because of the proximity between you two. Quinn had shuffled closer to you when Jack first walked in. Like it was natural to be this close to you. 

Trevor stood up, tucking his phone in his pocket. “Yeah, I’ll meet you out there..” he said brushing past Quinn to rush up the stairs. 

You turned to Quinn and Jack, but your gaze stayed on Quinn. “You can join..” You said shyly, it made Quinn want to pull you closer to him. Like he used to, but nothing was like it used to be. So his arms stayed by his side as he shook his head. 

“Jack was gonna go with me to the store since Jamie drank the last of your daiquiris..” Quinn said with a light chuckle when he saw your face contort into mild annoyance. 

“That dick! Everyone knows that's the only thing I drink..” you pouted slightly before turning to Jack. 

“Wait, you'd go a half hour to the store to get my drinks?” You tilted your head watching as Jack grew a smug smirk. Jack patted Quinn's back as he leaned between the two of you to whisper. 

“You have my brother on a leash..” Jack whispered but there wasn’t a point because everyone in the room heard it.

Quinn glared at his brother as he pushed him towards the kitchen. “Ignore him, we are picking up Taylor,” Quinn says to which Jack grows a cheesy smile at the mention of his girlfriend. 

“Are you finally letting us meet her?” You said quickly pushing Quinn out of your way as you began throwing Jack a million questions. To which he gladly answered them all. 

After a while Quinn and Jack left, leaving you to relax by the pool. Trevor was lying on a pool floaty while you read your book. 

“You should read to me..” Trevor said tilting his sunglasses up, he winced at the sunlight until his eyes settled on your figure by the poolside. 

The small speaker you had brought wasn’t enough to drown out Trevor’s content ranting. But after last night you slowly started to like his rants. Slowly. 

“No.” You said putting your book down, deciding to wade into the cool water. The sun was beating against your back and it made you start to sweat. 

“Please..” Trevor begged, his attempt at puppy eyes made you laugh a little. But his pleading tone also made your stomach turn slightly. 

“No. I don’t even let Quinn read my books..” You say as you sit on the edge of the pool. Trevor slid off his floaty the second you got closer, opting to stand with his body between your legs. 

“You can tell me if this is too much. I promise not to be mad.” Trevor said softly, rubbing his hand over the middle of your thigh lightly. 

“I’m okay Trev..” You whispered, Trevor let out a deep sigh. “Thank god. I was so nervous..” Trevor said, chuckling lightly. It occurred to you that this was the first time you couldn’t see his cocky facade fade slightly. Trevor genuinely looked shy. It made your heart a little. 

“How can I convince you..” Trevor whispers, pressing his chest between your legs again. You unsurely wrapped your arms around his neck, relaxing a little when Trevor smiled brightly at you. 

You swallowed the bile in your throat. You were always shy around boys. Especially pretty boys. Who plays hockey? But this time you felt more comfortable. You could explore this without any of the expectations from Quinn. 

“I don’t know..” You tapped your finger on your chin pretending to think about it for a moment. 

Trevor tipped his head leaning down closer to your eye level. His chest pressing against you. 

“Trevor..” you whispered out, squeezing his hand that was still on your thigh. He stopped almost immediately and gauged your reaction. “What baby?” he spit out, not even processing the words he said. 

Your face slightly flushed at the pet name. “This is embarrassing! What if Jamie came out here!” You said moving out of his hold but Trevor’s hand on your thigh tightened. 

“Okay..” Trevor’s voice was soft and genuinely kind. “What about it embarrasses you?” he asked sweetly. Eyes filled with deep adoration. 

“I just don’t like the teasing, at least in front of others..” You said folding your hands in your lap. Trevor moved back from your legs, opting to admire you from your side instead. 

“Done. Anything else?” Trevor asked, wrapping his hand with yours. Resting in your lap softly he used his free hand to push his bangs against his head. 

The speaker by your book started softly playing ‘Safe In Your Skin’ by Title Fight. You shook your head softly. 

“No.” Your voice was quiet but Trevor never wanted to push you into talking to him. 

“Okay, no teasing. What about flirting? Because I think you would look better in my swim-shorts” Trevor said, raising his hands slightly. 

You tugged him back to stand in front of you with your connected hands. 

“If Quinn isn’t in the room..” You said, glancing down at your intertwined hands. You moved your thumb over his hand slowly. 

“Keeping me your dirty little se-” Trevor was cut off by you slapping your hand over his mouth. 

Your face felt like it was melting, your face turning a deep shade of red as Trevor laughed at your reaction. You slapped your hand over his mouth harder.

“Trev. I can’t have you teasing me like that..” You said with a warning tone, your voice surprised you slightly but you kept the facade. At least until Trevor licked a stripe on your hand. 

You pulled your hand away and wiped it on his shirt. “You don’t know where my hand has been..” You teased him hoping he would lay off flirting slightly. 

“Hopefully between those pretty legs of yours..” Trevor mumbled before slapping a hand over his mouth. 

“That was too much. I am so sorry..” Trevor said moving back, the pool water sloshing back. Trevor’s immediate apology sent butterflies to your stomach. You let out a soft smile. 

“It’s okay, we will find a middle ground eventually..” You said grabbing your book. Trevor nodded, sighing contently as he grabbed his floaty and climbed onto it. 

After a while of reading you put your book down at Trevor’s voice. 

“Could you check if my face is burnt?” He asked softly, kicking his legs so he floated over to you. 

You grabbed his face and leaned in to inspect it. Not expecting Trevor’s wet warms to pull you into him. The water sloshed underneath you both as he held you to his body. The pool floaty softly glides away from the edge of the pool. 

You laughed at him lightly, “Luke could walk out at any minute..” You said softly. Not pulling away in the slightest. 

“I just heard the boat go out. Luke must’ve snuck away to drive the boat while Jack and Quinn are out. 

You pulled away slightly at the mention of Quinn’s name. Trevor noticed and shrunk away himself. The pool-floaty is suddenly too small. 

“I should go get something to eat..” Trevor mumbled, flipping off the floaty. He suddenly felt sick as he thought about your reaction to Quinn’s name. You weren’t his. You weren’t Quinn’s though. But that was enough for him to feel insecure. 

Trevor rushed inside and you didn’t follow him until you were sure he went up the stairs. 

You had to make a choice. It’s not like both boys would share you. But the thought itself had you melting on your bed. 

[bookworm551]

Take the Edge Off | Part 8 | Pillow Talk

You finally get a quiet moment of quality time with Miguel.

A/N: wooooooow It’s been a hot minute. I feel like I’m coming back to my neopets after abandoning them for years. Tbh I just needed to take a break, I’ve been working and going to school, so it’s been a lot. Anyways, I’ve come back to feed you before disappearing again for an unknown amount of time. Also, this is pretty self indulgent ngl, so this is for the praise kink girlies. Enjoy <3

Warnings: smut, overstimulation, the usual

Word count: 6.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 9 Part 10

You woke up slowly the next morning. The soft light that flooded into the room caused you to stir lazily from your dreamless sleep. You stretched with a deep yawn, feeling a dull a soreness in your arms and shoulders that reminded you of all the things you had done with Miguel the night before.

You shifted under the covers and blinked your bleary eyes open. As your vision adjusted, you registered the figure of Miguel asleep next to you. He was positioned on his stomach with his face half-way buried in his pillow, and his back moved up and down slowly with his deep, even breaths. He had his arms tucked under his pillow, and there were some loose strands of hair that had fallen over his face. It took every ounce of your strength to not brush it aside for fear that you would wake him and break this quiet moment together.

You watched him for a second with a soft smile. Laying on your side, you admired his resting face. This was the first time you had ever woken up with him still there next to you. Every other time he had either left immediately or after you had fallen asleep. It was a nice change, and as you lay there quietly, you couldn't help but wish you woke up like this every day.

"I can feel you staring," Miguel grumbled quietly, startling you out of your reverie. You smiled sheepishly as he blinked his eyes open to look at you. They were still bleary with sleepiness, and his soft gaze warmed your chest.

"I didn't realize you were up," you stated, your own voice hoarse from sleep. He let out a little huff before closing his eyes again, not saying anything in return. "How long have you been awake?" You asked quietly. He sighed, not opening his eyes. "I woke up with your tossing and turning about 20 minutes ago," he replied finally.

You hummed and offered softly, "Sorry." You had gained a reputation in your life as a restless sleeper, and apparently, it didn’t matter how much he had worn you out the night before. "It's fine," Miguel grunted as he shifted and rolled onto his back. "I should've been up earlier than that."

You smiled. You were glad he had chosen to stay here, to let you see him like this. Knowing he was a busy man, it meant a lot to you. "Full schedule today?" you asked.

Miguel sighed, running a hand down his face. "The briefing for our mission is at noon," he said. "After that, I've got a stack of reports I need to review." That sounded boring to you, but you couldn't help but grin at his words: our mission. You had almost forgotten that he added you to the team, and the notion of working with Miguel again excited you.

"Who else is on the team?" You asked casually, fighting a lazy yawn as you stretched out next to him.

"I don't think you know all of them," he stated. You hummed and replied, "Well, who would I know?" He paused a second to consider. "Me, a handful of Peters," he began. "Malala, Jess, and she's been asking to bring Gwen, too."

You rolled over onto your side, resting your head on your hand with a smirk. "Me," you added smugly. Miguel rolled his eyes. "You," he conceded. "And I think that's it."

You gave a short, thoughtful hum. There was one name you noticed was missing from the list, someone you thought deserved to be on the team as well. You knew trying to change the roster would upset Miguel, but you couldn't ignore the gut feeling you had telling you that there was one more person who should be added to the mission.

Miguel seemed to notice that you were thinking about something. "What?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised suspiciously. You looked up at him and smiled reluctantly. "You're not gonna like it," you told him. His dark eyes narrowed. "What?" He repeated, sounding even more suspicious than before.

"Promise you won't be mad?" You asked. "No," he responded evenly. "You probably piss me off more than anyone here."

You chuckled at that. "That's probably true," you admitted, moving closer to him as you did. He had a few faint scars that were littered across his shoulders and chest, and you began absently tracing your fingers over them.

After a quiet second, he prompted gently, "What is it?"

You didn't reply for a moment as your fingers danced over the faint lines on his skin. Finally, you looked back up at his face and found he was gazing down at you expectantly. With a sigh, you finally said, "You need to add Ben to the team."

Miguel's face hardened immediately. "No," he replied sharply. You sighed again. "I already know what you're gonna say," you stated. Miguel huffed an irritated breath. "He's the reason we're in this mess. He's the reason this anomaly has been able to cause all that damage."

"That wasn't his fault," you defended gently. "It could have happened to anyone, and I know how badly he wants to make it right." Miguel scoffed, and he sat up from the bed. "Nothing he can do will bring back Earth-2319," he stated sharply. "All those lives are gone forever."

He turned his body to step out of bed, and you sat up with him, allowing the covers to slip off your bare torso. You had known he would to be upset by your suggestion, but you didn't want this to turn into an argument.

Reaching a hand out, you gently grabbed his shoulder to keep him from leaving. "And don't you think he knows that?" You pointed out softly. "Can't you imagine how terrible he feels?"

Miguel felt tense under your palm, and he didn't reply. You were afraid that he was going to shrug you off, and you wouldn't have blamed him. You could still remember his haunted gaze when he came to you after the loss of Earth-2319. This mission was personal for him, and you knew Miguel wasn't going to do anything he thought would jeopardize it.

After a silent second, he sighed heavily, and his stiff shoulders sagged under your hand. "I don't have to imagine," he muttered quietly.

A taut silence followed his words. The air around you suddenly felt fragile, and you were afraid of breathing for fear of breaking it. You didn't know what he was referring to, and you wanted desperately to ask, but it seemed almost disrespectful to do so. So instead, you waited.

Miguel seemed to sense your curiosity and breathed out another sigh. "When I first traveled across the multiverse," he began slowly, "I found something I wanted—badly. I thought it was harmless, so...I decided to take it for myself."

You closed your eyes regretfully, understanding that what he was implying broke the canon of that universe. You shifted your body closer to the edge of the bed so you could see his face. His eyes were downcast with the memory replaying in his head, a faraway look on his face.

"I didn't know what would happen until it was too late," he finished softly.

You let his words hang in the air for a moment before taking the hand that was still resting on his shoulder, raising it up to cup his cheek, and turning his face toward yours. His eyes were still fixed downward, but he allowed himself to be guided by your hand.

"You didn't know any better," you said finally. "You can't blame yourself for what you didn't know." He let out a small huff and turned his face away from you again, pulling away from your hand. "It was reckless and stupid," he muttered. "I was stupid."

"You weren't stu—"

"I destroyed a universe," he snapped, his eyes finally flashing up to your face. Grief and anger were etched in his face, and in his eyes, you saw the same pain the night after Earth-2319 was lost. You realized now how much worse it must have been for him that day, and your chest ached for him.

"I understand," you whispered softly. "And I’m sorry, I didn't know." He scoffed. "It's not exactly something I brag about," he stated darkly. "And it's not something I ever plan on repeating. I can't afford to be wrong. Being wrong costs lives."

You didn't say anything for a moment, and Miguel’s shoulders slumped in defeat. There was that quiet openness again, the subtle vulnerability that seemed to be showing more and more. He obviously meant what he said, and you understood that his words came from painful experience.

Your hand raised up to rest on his bare chest, and your thumb brushed his skin gently. "You can't put it all on yourself," you whispered to him. "Nobody is that strong." Miguel didn't reply for a second before whispering back, "I have to be."

You sighed quietly and shook your head. "No, you don't," you insisted. "That's why you have all of us. Jess, Peter, me, everyone—we're all here for you."

Miguel had been staring at the ground as you spoke, but his eyes moved up to meet yours at your last sentence. His gaze was piercing, almost overwhelming. It made you almost nervous to say what you were going to say, but you held his stare as you emphasized your next words: "I'm here for you."

Your statement hovered in the air, leaving the silence that followed to rest heavy around you. Your chest tightened anxiously as Miguel stared at you wordlessly. His eyes were impossible to read. Had you gone too far? You knew he didn't want a relationship. Were your words too close to a confession?

Finally, your worries were allayed when Miguel leaned in and pressed his lips to yours in a tender kiss. It was different than the passionate way he usually made out with you when you were fucking. This was slow, like he was taking his time just to appreciate how your lips felt against his. It almost felt like a token of gratitude.

"You make it easier," he whispered when he finally broke away from your mouth. Your chest swelled as you smiled softly at him. “Good,” you replied quietly. “That’s what I’m here for.” A small smile cracked the grave expression he wore, and you kissed him again.

When you pulled back again, he studied your face for a second. “You still want me to add Ben, don’t you?” He guessed.

You sighed softly and nodded. “Wouldn't you do anything to make it right?” You asked him quietly. His eyes were still fixed on your lips, but you could tell he was thinking about your words. Without replying, he simply nodded his head.

“So would Ben,” you continued. “Please let him come.”

He still didn’t say anything for a moment. He sat quietly for a few heartbeats before letting out a deep sigh. “I'll think about it,” he said finally. You smiled at him, knowing that even him contemplating your plea was victory enough. “Thank you,” you told him, closing the space between you with a kiss. He hummed against your lip before murmuring, “You know, I thought I said I don't want you to talk about Ben around me.”

You smiled mischievously. “Well, we're breaking my rule about not discussing work in bed,” you pointed out. A faint smirk appeared on his lips. “Well, maybe I don't care about your rules,” he stated with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Then why should I care about yours?” You shot back. Miguel shifted from off the edge of the bed to lean forward over you, forcing you to lay down slowly under him. “Because there are consequences to breaking my rules, remember?” He said in a low voice, his eyes darkening with desire.

Your heart began to race as he trapped your body under his. “No,” you replied coyly, “I think I forgot.” Raising a hand to his head, you pulled his face down just above yours. “You'll have to remind me,” you whispered to him before pulling him down into a hard kiss.

You brought your hand around his head to run your fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss. After a second, he moved his lips down to your neck while one of his hands traveled up your stomach to palm your breast, earning a quiet moan from you. Even after all the things he had done to you last night, you were ready for more.

You pushed yourself up off the mattress, forcing Miguel to roll back over onto his back as you straddled his waist. The seriousness from his face had disappeared when you settled on top of him. A smug grin pulled at his lips as the covers slipped off of your body, and his eyes drank in the sight of your bare body before him.

"Not too tired after last night?" He asked in an amused tone. You leaned forward and planted your hands on either side of his head as you brought your face close to his. "Baby, I could go all day," you purred before pressing your lips to his and slipping your tongue between them.

Miguel's hands gripped at your thighs, and his breathing deepened as he shifted under you. You brought one hand up to run your fingers through his hair, and when you broke away from his mouth, you moved your lips down to kiss under his jaw. He tilted his head back with a soft sigh to allow you better access to the soft skin of his neck.

Before you could go any further, Miguel's watch began beeping, disturbing the growing anticipation you both felt. You groaned, and he sighed regretfully as he raised his arm up to read the message he had received. You lifted your head up slightly to look at his face. He was clearly irritated by the interruption, and his eyes flicked back and forth as he quickly read the message.

"It's Jess," he explained. "She's asking about the meeting later." You rolled your eyes. There was always somebody or something that demanded his attention, and you were sick of it. You didn't want to let him go this time.

"You know," you began slowly, "there's this cool feature on these gizmos." You grabbed his arm and raised it up so you could see the screen. Miguel watched in amusement as you pressed the screen until you found what you were looking for.

"There," you said proudly, pressing the 'silent' button in his watch's configuration. "Much better." His eyes moved from your face to the watch and then back to your face with a raised eyebrow. "Is that why you never respond to my messages?" He asked suspiciously. You gave him a sly smile. "I just like it better when you tell me in person," you defended innocently.

"Mhmm," he hummed in response, a subtle smirk pulling on his lips as you kissed them again. You were eager to pick up the momentum you had lost to Jess's message, and you quickly returned your mouth to his neck again.

"We can't," he murmured, the bass of his voice vibrating against your lips. "I need to get up."

You hummed softly before whispering against his skin, "No."

You heard him breathe out a chuckle, and his hands came up to pull your arms gently off his body. "I know," he replied, sitting up as he did. "But people are going to notice I'm missing."

A spike of determination shot up in you, the frustration at his constant leaving finally showing. With both hands, you shoved him back down against the mattress by his chest, using most of your weight to keep him down. "Let them notice," you told him. "You're not going anywhere."

Under your hands, Miguel's breathing deepened, and his eyes flashed with lust at your assertion. His desire for you was clearly painted on his face, but with a clenched jaw, he sighed regretfully. "I can't stay," he insisted. "There's too much to do."

Despite his words, his fingers were gripping at your thighs, and he shifted under you restlessly. His resolve was hanging by a thread, and you knew exactly how to snap it.

Your mouth curled in a wicked grin as you lowered your face to hover over his own. "You're gonna stay right here with me until I'm through with you," you whispered to him. "You know why?"

Miguel was obviously fighting to keep his breathing steady, and his eyes were fixed on your lips when he managed to ask, "Why?" You lowered your face just above his, your eyes locking and noses brushing against each other. Then, softly, smugly, you said, "Because this pussy is yours, and I know how much you love it."

Miguel's jaw clenched at your words, and when you pressed your lips to his again, he was no longer holding back. His tongue pushed its way into your mouth aggressively as his fingers dug into your hips. From beneath you, his body shifted as he propped himself more upright and pushed your hips down to where his hardened cock was waiting.

You smiled deviously as he kissed you. The feeling of power rushed to your head at being able to distract him from his work with only a few words. Your heart was pounding in anticipation, and with the soft breathy moans you were both making, the ache between your legs was growing almost painful.

You allowed yourself to be guided back by his hard, gripping hands. A thrill ran up through your body when you felt his cock brush against your hot entrance. You could see the unfocused look in Miguel's eyes, like the only thing he could think about was being inside you.

To be mischievous, you teased your pussy around his length. Miguel groaned ever so softly, and his eyes burned with lust. "I don't have time for your fucking teasing," he growled. You smirked, always enjoying getting him riled up. He was even better when he was frustrated.

"You're so impatient," you observed with an amused voice. "I'm gonna have to teach you how to wait nicely one day." Miguel wasn't so amused. "I don't have time for this," he replied, shifting under you to try and align himself to you. You laughed. "That's the point," you said. "You need to learn how to—"

You cut yourself off with a sharp gasp. Miguel clearly had enough of your lecture and finally slammed himself into you, causing you to fall forward so that your head rested against his. The sudden feeling of him stretching you out so unexpectedly had made your mind freeze, and for a second, you couldn't speak.

"You were saying?" Miguel muttered smugly when you opened your eyes again. You couldn't even remember what you were saying. The only thing on your mind now was how badly you needed to fuck him.

With Miguel's hands still on your hips, you began moving eagerly along the length of his cock. You rocked your hips against his, grinding your pussy hard against him. Quiet whines began to rise up from your throat as you raised yourself up and down, slowly at first, but you soon increased your pace as he began grunting from the feeling of you riding him.

Miguel was gripping your waist tightly and gasping quietly as he helped you move up and down his length. You fell forward, planting your hands on his chest as you moved your hips against his. His eyes met yours with an electrifying gaze that only encouraged your movements.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, his eyes fixed on your face with a lustful sort of reverence as his hands slowly slid up the sides of your torso. "You're so fucking pretty."

Damn him and his words that sent your heart fluttering. Even there, in the midst of riding him, you felt your face grow warm from his praise. Of course, you had heard him say things like that before, but for some reason, it hit you in a different way that turned you into a blushing mess on top of him.

Miguel apparently noticed the effect his praise had over you because his lips twisted in a half-smirk, and he sat up off the bed to bring his face up to yours. "My pretty girl," he murmured, his voice deep as he spoke the words against your lips.

You seemed to forget how to breathe. Your heart was pounding furiously in your chest as you locked eyes with him. His dark, piercing gaze that once seemed like an impenetrable wall was now soft and warm. The way he was staring at you made you feel like he could see into your soul, like he knew what you felt for him, what you wanted from him. And in his eyes, you could almost swear that you could see it, too.

His strong arms wrapped themselves slowly around your torso to hold you against him, and his lips pressed against yours gently. You didn't even realize that he was rolling you over until you were on your back beneath him, and he began driving his hips into yours.

You let out a soft moan and broke away from his lips. Miguel's head fell to your shoulder as he moved steadily inside you, his cock pumping in and out of your soaking cunt. His hot breath fanned against your collarbones, and you could hear how he grunted softly with each thrust.

"God, I can't get enough of you," he panted, his voice hoarse and quiet. "Fucking you is—it's like Rapture."

You nearly came apart right there. His words and his cock had you completely at his mercy. One of your hands gripped at his muscular back while the other slid up the back of his neck to run through his dark hair. It took most of your effort to even form a coherent thought, and speaking felt next to impossible.

"Only you—," you started, cutting yourself off with a moan. "Only you can m-make me feel like this. You fuck me so good."

Miguel groaned quietly at your words. Lifting his face up from your shoulder, he rested his forehead against yours. "You know why?" He asked quietly. You opened your eyes to meet his, not even bothering to respond. "Because you're my pretty girl," he asserted. "And this pussy is mine." As he spoke, Miguel's hand slipped down between your bodies until he found your clit with his thumb.

You cried out in ecstasy as he circled his thumb around while still driving his cock deep inside you. Your hand moved from his back to grip the headboard above you as he fucked you relentlessly. The sounds of his hips slapping against yours were in-time with each whining moan you made. You barely had time to register that you were cumming until it took over your whole body.

You were practically screaming his name as your body shook uncontrollably. You pulled him close to you while his hips continued thrusting into you ceaselessly. Bliss completely overtook your every faculty, and the only thing your mind could process was Miguel.

His eyes never left your face as he watched you completely unravel under him. He gave a long, deep moan at the feeling of you clenching around him. His lips brushed against yours as he slowed down his pace for you, aware of how your body was beginning to grow overstimulated, and he murmured your name under his breath softly.

As you finished riding out your high, your body was still alight with pleasure, and your heart was still beating wildly in your chest, but you finally managed to breathe properly again. Blinking your eyes open, Miguel's dark gaze was hypnotizing. He was clearly proud of how he had caused you to come so undone, and he whispered, "You're so pretty when you cum."

All you could do to respond was moan softly. He never failed to get you off, and he never failed to praise you when you did.

With one hand still entangled in his hair, you pulled his face down to yours in a sloppy kiss. As Miguel's tongue danced against yours, he pulled himself out of you. You were still breathing hard when he sat up off your body. Taking advantage of the fact that you were still recovering from your high, he turned you over so that you were on your stomach and lifted your ass up to him.

Even if you had wanted to resist him, your mind was still hazy from all the pleasure buzzing through your body. Following his prompts, you obediently propped yourself up on your knees, your back arched as you held onto the sheets.

"What a good girl you are," he murmured, running his hand down your back. You hummed softly at his touch and turned your head to look at him from the corner of your eye. "Only for you," you whispered. You heard him give a heavy sigh, and you felt the head of his cock teasing the entrance of your soaking cunt.

"That's right," he purred. "You're my good girl."

That was the last thing he said before slamming his cock back into you. You gasped sharply, startled by his sudden movements as he picked up an eager pace. Still sensitive from your orgasm, you whimpered softly against the sheets.

"It's too much," you whined, gripping the comforter to try and pull yourself forward to escape the sensations overpowering you. "You can take it, babygirl," he assured you gently, his cock moving faster and harder inside you. "I know you can."

You couldn't say anything in response. You were high on his words and drunk off his cock. Your eyes were clenched shut as he pounded into you. The sound of his hips slapping against your ass filled the air, and with each thrust into you, he hit against your G-spot over and over again. Your body felt weak, and you were completely at his mercy.

"Miguel," you moaned, unable to say anything else. He cursed softly under his breath, and his hands gripped your hips tightly to keep you steady. "You're doing so good, cariño," he told you, his fingers digging into your skin. "Just a little more."

His gentle tone contrasted sharply against the almost savage way he was fucking you. Your breathing came in shallow gasps, and your legs started to give out from under you. Miguel dropped one of his hands to support himself on the mattress. His large body seemed to envelope yours, and you could feel the heat from his skin warming your back. His panting breath tickled your ear as he continued ramming into you relentlessly.

You turned your face toward his, your noses brushing against each other. His lips were grazing the corner of your mouth in feather-light touches. Your eyes, blurred and unfocused, met his, and in that moment, a three-word phrase entered your mind that you had sworn to yourself you would never say to him.

"Miguel, I-I—"

You couldn't finish your sentence before your body was racked by another orgasm. You hadn't expected it, and it hit you hard and fast. A strangled cry emerged from your throat as your body trembled under his.

Miguel became desperate when he saw you were cumming again. With each thrust, he grunted loudly, overpowering the sound of your quiet gasping. Your whole body was shaking, and just when it was getting to be too much for you to handle, Miguel grew still with a ragged moan as he came inside you.

For a moment, there was just the sounds of your rapid breathing as you were both lost in the intoxicating feeling of finishing together. His head rested against yours, his skin hot to the touch. The sounds of his panting still tickled your ear while his hand slowly roamed from your waist up your back. Finally, with a gentle kiss to your shoulder, he pulled out of you.

Your hands released the vise grip they had on the sheets as you slumped down against the bed. Your mind was still flooded with the pleasure you felt, and you didn't have the capacity to do anything besides lay there and try to recover your breath.

Turning onto your back, you looked up at Miguel. His hair had fallen into his face in a messy way that made him even more handsome. Raising your free hand up to his face, you brushed his hair back so that you could see him clearly. His eyes seemed unfocused as his mind was clouded with pleasure. After a quiet second of staring at each other, he lowered his face to place a lazy kiss on your mouth.

God, how you wanted this to last. You wanted him to fuck you senseless every day. You wanted him to kiss you every hour, to think of you every minute, to be with you every second. Being together like this, open and vulnerable and comfortable with each other, it was the first time you felt a sense of connection with another person since you became Spider-Woman.

When he broke away from your lips, he slumped down beside you with a deep sigh. You glanced over at his face, a faint glimmer of sweat shining on his forehead, and admired for the millionth time just how good he looked.

As your breathing was finally evening out, you closed your eyes and felt like you could fall right back to sleep next to him again.

"Don't even think about it," Miguel mumbled, breaking the silence between you. "Hmm?" You questioned, opening your eyes to look at him.

"You're not falling asleep again," he said with a pointed look.

You groaned, rolling onto your side to face him better. "Why not?" You asked innocently. Miguel stretched his arms before answering, his muscles flexing in a way that made you crave another round with him. "Because I need to go," he sighed. "And that means you do, too."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "You can't just fuck me like that and expect me to be able to get up and leave after," you told him wryly.

Miguel huffed out a laugh, a cocky smile on his face. "I'm serious," you insisted, unable to suppress your own grin. The rare sight of Miguel's smile paired with the high you were still feeling made you giddy. "I'm sure you are," he replied, "but I'm also serious about needing to go."

You rolled your eyes. "Then go," you told him theatrically. "I won't beg for your company." Despite your words, you did indeed want to beg for his company. Every time he left, it was harder and harder for you to let him go.

He huffed again. "I'm not going to leave you alone in my room," he replied dryly.

You smirked at him. "Afraid I'm gonna steal your stuff?" You joked. Miguel's eyes turned to you with an amused gleam. "It's a possibility," he said evenly. "You still haven't given me my shirt back." You closed your eyes for a moment with a sigh. "Oh, yeah," you mumbled as you stretched out like a cat. "I definitely meant to do that."

Miguel hummed his disbelief, but there was humor in his subtle smile. "If I didn't know any better," he began slowly, reaching over to wrap his arm around you and pull you closer to him, "I would say you're lying."

Your own smile widened as you looked up at him mischievously, and you rolled over so that you rested on his chest. "Oh, you think you know better?" You asked in a sly tone, hovering your face over his.

His mouth was pulled in a crooked grin as his fingers brushed lazily across your bare back. "I know I do," he replied with a deep voice, his eyes fixed on your lips.

You hummed thoughtfully. "Well, maybe you're wrong," you asserted.

"I'm never wrong."

"I don't believe that."

"Name one time."

You paused, trying to think of a time when he did or said something incorrect, but unfortunately, nothing came to mind. You rolled your eyes. "I don't know," you admitted finally, earning a smug look from Miguel. "But one day, you'll have to admit you were wrong about something," you insisted, "and I'll make sure I'm there to see when you do."

"You may be waiting for a while," he remarked. You hummed thoughtfully, tracing a finger over the outlines of his face. "I’m a patient person," you stated simply. "And you never know. That day could come sooner than you think."

He stared up at you in amusement. "If you say so," he replied. "Though, I wouldn't use 'patient' as a word to describe you." You raised an eyebrow in interest. "Oh? And what would you use?" You asked smoothly.

Miguel pretended to think as he slowly stroked his fingers up and down your back. "There are a lot of words I could use," he began. "Stubborn is probably at the top of the list." You rolled your eyes, trying and failing to suppress a smile. "And?" You prompted, feeling genuine interest in how he perceived you.

"And..." he thought for a second, "passionate."

You smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?" You said smugly. Miguel's lips also turned upwards in a subtle smile. "Not just sex," he clarified. "You're passionate about being Spider-Woman, and you care about the people around you. You're...kind."

Your stomach fluttered a little bit. You could tell he wasn't just saying that. The sincerity in his voice as he spoke was perfectly clear.

You smiled softly at him. "Keep going," you urged, though you were still trying to seem aloof at his words. He hummed thoughtfully. "You're strong," he listed. "You're fast. You're smart."

"Don't forget funny," you added.

Miguel gave you a skeptical look. "I didn't," he said. "It's just not on the list."

You couldn't stop yourself from laughing at that. "Shut up," you chastised, lightly smacking his chest as you recovered from his joke. His eyes gleamed as he stared up at your laughing face. There was a brief moment of silence as he looked up at you with half a smile on his lips before he murmured, "You're beautiful."

Two words and your heart was beating furiously in your chest. You were struck dumb, unable to think of what you could say to appropriately respond to him. He had called you pretty a dozen times, and you logically knew that he found you attractive based on your many encounters, but it wasn't just the words he spoke, it was how he said it—softly, earnestly, like it was something too precious to be said aloud.

And there was that three-word phrase again whispering in your mind. You could never say it, you knew that. It would be awkward, uncomfortable, and even potentially ruin your standing in the Society, but none of those reasons could stop you from thinking it when he was gazing up at you with his soft, brown eyes with a subtle smile on his full lips.

Miguel must've realized you were having trouble coming up with a response. Breaking the half-awkward silence around you, he said, "But you know what word I would use to describe you right now?"

You were pulled out of your stupor by his question, your face growing warm in embarrassment. "Hmm?" You hummed curiously.

"Treacherous," he replied simply.

Your eyebrows scrunched in surprise. "Treacherous?" You repeated. "How so?"

He lifted his head up just enough so that your lips were barely touching before whispering, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing right now."

You blinked down at him innocently. "What am I doing?" You whispered back, your lips grazing his softly.

He let you place a ghost of a kiss to his lips before finally replying, "Stalling." With that, he began sitting up off the bed, forcing you to roll off his body. "We have to go.”

You draped your arm over your eyes with a groan. He knew you too well. You had hoped he wouldn't notice you trying to drag on the pillow talk to keep him there with you. Now, it seems you’ve run out of time.

Miguel sat up off the bed and stretched. You watched how the muscles in his back flexed tightly before he stood to get dressed. Sighing, you also sat up, grabbing your underwear from off the floor where Miguel had discarded it the previous night before walking to the bathroom.

When you came back out, Miguel was already dressed in his suit, his hair slicked back in his typical fashion. He noticed you emerging from the bathroom and tossed you your web shooters. Catching them, you placed them on your wrists and watched as your suit enveloped your body.

He must’ve seen the wonder on your face because he said, “I told you it’s cooler than nanotech.” You smiled at him. “It is,” you conceded, stepping over toward him. “I don’t think I ever said thank you.”

He smirked down at you, his gaze flickering back and forth between your eyes and your lips. “I don’t recall that you ever did,” he replied. You placed one hand on his chest and let it wander up to his neck. Even on your tiptoes, he was too tall for you to kiss, so he had to follow your prompting hands and lean over to kiss you.

When you broke away from Miguel, you whispered, “Thank you.” He wore a soft smile on his lips as he whispered back, “You’re welcome,” before pressing them back to your mouth. Kissing him was so addicting, and you regretted having to leave once again.

Pulling away from you, Miguel sighed. “Listen,” he started, “finding the anomaly needs to be our first priority now.” You nodded in agreement, but you could sense there was more he was going to say. “That means,” he continued slowly, “no distractions.”

You studied his face for a second before you understood his implication. “You mean this?” You asked, your stomach tightening anxiously as you thought about him cutting you off. “Yes,” he replied before quickly adding, “until the anomaly is caught.”

You frowned. You had no idea how long that could take. The anomaly, ‘Ghost’ as he had been nicknamed, had already been at large far longer than any of you could have guessed, and he could stay in hiding between universes for far longer.

Miguel apparently could tell what you were thinking, and he raised one of his hands up to hold your chin gently. “You are a distraction for me,” he told you. “Now, I put you on the team because you can be useful, but I can’t be here lounging around with you when I need to be preparing for this, understand?”

You sighed in resignation. It made sense. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, it made sense. He was trying to run this whole operation by himself, and even though you wanted him to stay with you, you knew that you were just being selfish.

“Yes,” you replied reluctantly. He nodded, his thumb running back and forth along your chin gently. “Good,” he said. “I’ll see you at the meeting at 12.”

You sighed again. “Alright, I’ll see you there.” You turned to walk toward the door, but when Miguel called out your name, you paused and turned back around. He stepped toward you purposefully, and your heart leapt as you thought he was going to let you stay a while longer.

With his body hovering close to yours, he reached a hand out to grab your arm gently. You let him lift it up, your eyes never leaving his face as you noted how close his lips were to yours, but he wasn’t looking at you. He was looking down at your gizmo and was tapping away at the screen.

Confused, you looked down to see what he was doing. You watched as he pressed the button marked ‘silent,’ effectively disabling the setting you had it on. “No more of that either,” he told you with pointed look.

You gave a guilty smile. “Fair enough,” you conceded, taking back your arm. “But just so you know, I think this new rule of yours is a good idea, because now I’m going to catch this anomaly so fast, it’ll make your head spin.”

He smiled in amusement at your statement. “If you do,” he said, “I’ll fuck you until you can’t speak.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “You already do that,” you pointed out. He shrugged. “Not anymore,” he countered evenly. You shrugged back at him and replied casually, “But soon enough.”

With that, you turned back to the door with a smirk on your face and the determined notion that you were going to be the one to catch the anomaly.

[kooktrash]

Omg can u write a drabble about seven days to love Jungoo being sick and whiney (and attention seeker) and oc taking care of him ofc hehe 🥺🥺🤍

okokok im bringing him back since he’s such a baby. you don’t have to read SEVEN DAYS TO LOVE to understand this drabble <3

JUNGKOOK’S SICK DAY | jeon jungkook

warnings: none. straight fluff. sick jk. needy jk. 1.9k words.

Your relationship with Jungkook started off rocky and you take full blame for that. You had been too stubborn to admit that he wasn’t as bad as you made him out to be and over time you let him creep his way into your heart till he was pretty much the owner of it. Of course this dwill don’t mean you made it easy for good m but it was only because you knew he secretly liked your mean streak. Your boyfriend was sweet and so unbelievably funny practically all the time that it didn’t take you long to realize when something was wrong—take the other night for instance when you unintentionally made him jealous and snapped at him for it.

This morning was another one of those times when you noticed he was acting differently than usual. It was the most minuscule of things that caught your attention today but it was just strange. Typically, on mornings you didn’t spend with Jungkook at your side, he sent you a good morning text. Last night you worked late and had an early morning class today that it had just been easier to go back to your own place and not visit Jungkook since it was a farther drive from campus. You expected to wake up to one of his long and dramatic good morning texts that usually went along the lines of:

‘kook🖤: good morningggggggggg my angry little cinammon roll, idc if you hate the nickname, I love it bc I know it annoys u hehe. miss u’

It was very annoying but unbelievably endearing and you always responded with a:

‘you: pls stop calling me that, it’s so corny.

you: but morning, miss you too <3’

Today though, you woke up with nothing and when you checked his location out of curiosity if he was busy, you found him at home and ended up calling him.

“Hello?” His voice was groggy and tired which was unusual for him at this hour, it was the first sign that something was up.

“Good morning, I didn’t get my text today,” you said sitting at your vanity as you readied yourself for work. It was a little past noon and you had already gone to class and he had yet to reach out to you. That was strange considering how clingy your boyfriend usually was.

Jungkook lay in his bed, wrapped like a burrito in his blankets and phone on speaker lying on the pillow you usually used, “Sorry baby, I’m just waki—achoo!”

You paused, taken back by his overly loud sneeze and sniffle, “You okay?”

You’re not sure why you expected the big baby that Jungkook was to say yes when it was just so out of character. You should’ve known he would have responded with a whine, “No! I don’t feel good, a-and I want you to come over and make me feel better.”

“I’ve gotta get to work,” you said with a pout, “Joon would kill us both if we don’t show up. Did you call in yet?”

“I’m about to,” Jungkook said with another loud sniffle and cough that made you wince, “Please, Y/n, come over.”

“Jungkook, I can’t,” you said apologetically, “Taehyung is the only one working tonight and you’re already not going in so I can’t miss too. It wouldn’t be fair—“

“Y/n, come over!” You could practically see him kicking his feet in a childlike tantrum.

“Babe,” you released a sigh, “I’ll feel bad if I miss. I’ll come over right after, take something and sleep, okay?”

“I want you.”

“Do I look like cold medicine?” You asked, hearing him mumble a yes that made you smile in amusement, “I’ll see if we can finish early, I promise.”

Jungkook left you with a muffled goodbye and you felt bad just leaving him hanging but Namjoon was your boss and friend. He doesn’t like dating in the workplace but he’s fine with the two of you and you don’t want to take advantage of him or make him think you won’t put work first. He probably won’t like that you’ll miss work simply because of your boyfriend, so you got to work feeling awful for leaving Jungkook to fend for himself.

“So, no Jungkook today?” Taehyung asked from the stop of the stairs where his sound booth was. You shook your head no, “Don’t think he feels good.”

“Poor baby,” Taehyung pretended to wipe a tear away, “Well, thanks for coming in, I have a feeling he didn’t make it easy for you?”

“Not at all.”

kook🖤: 🤒😞

you: have you taken anything yet?

kook🖤: 😞

you: boy…

kook🖤: 🤧😞

“Y/n, tell your boyfriend to stop texting me,” Taehyung said suddenly, “He keeps crying that he wants you to go see him.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed in disbelief, “I didn’t know he was such a big baby when he’s sick.”

“The biggest,” Taehyung said with a shake of his head, “If you could stick around for at least another hour or two, I’ll let you go, but let’s just see how busy we get.”

The answer was, you didn’t get busy at all. Although you wanted to go over to Jungkook’s place right away, knowing him, he wasn’t prepared for a mile cold and you ended up going to the store to find some over-the-counter medicine and some easy foods he could eat. When you finally got to his place it was just before the sun could set and you let yourself in with the key he had given you a while back.

“Who’s there?” Jungkook shouted tiredly from his bedroom, “If it’s not Y/n it better be the Grim Reaper because I’m depressed.”

You rolled your eyes setting your bags down, “It’s Y/n!”

You heard intense rustling and banging from his bedroom until suddenly you were being confronted by Kaonashi from Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away—you mean your boyfriend, who was completely wrapped up in his black comforter with huge bags under his eyes, “Jeez babe, you’ve definitely seen better days, huh?”

Jungkook made a whining sound as he opens up his arms and the blanket before dragging you into him, wrapping you in with him and squeezing tightly, “S-so cold.”

“Did you take anything yet?” You asked, feeling your feet lift off the ground just a bit with how he held you in a hug. You felt him shake his head no and with an annoyed sigh you asked, “Jungkook! I’ve been telling you all day to take something. How are you supposed to get better?!”

“Stop yelling at me,” Jungkook sniffled as you struggled to free yourself from his hold, “I’m sick.”

You released a sigh as you lifted a hand to feel his face and neck and sure enough he felt warm, “Have you eaten?”

He shook his head no with a pout, and you took a breath, “Okay, why don’t you get in the shower and I’ll make you something real quick.”

“Come,” he begged, grabbing your arm but you shook your head.

“No, I’m going to making you something to eat, hon, go shower it’ll help with your fever,” you told him and with an annoyed whine he left.

“So dramatic,” you whispered to yourself watching him shimmy his way back to his room still wrapped in his blanket and you smiled at how cute he was.

You didn’t start cooking until you heard the shower running and you hurried to make him a simple soup that he better like because you're not a cook at all. He’s making you have to learn because he’s such a big baby who forgot to feed himself.

Not even five minutes later was he back out, shuffling his way back to you and hugging you from behind. “That was not a shower, Kook. It wasn’t even five minutes.”

“It was a rinse,” Jungkook confessed, following you around the small space of his kitchen. You just sighed, “Okay, get in bed, it’s almost ready.”

He whined making you look at him with a scoff, “I didn’t know you were so bratty when you’re sick, you big himbo! I already left work early, I’m not leaving, I’m gonna take care of you so just go to bed and I’ll be there soon.”

Jungkook grumbled under his breath as he retreated, “Always so mean to me.”

When you got back to Jungkook’s room holding a tray with his food you found him face down on his bed, spread like a star fish pretending to cry, “Y/n doesn’t love me.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed as you entered his dark abyss, “You’re lucky you’re cute because I’ve never met someone this dramatic in my life.”

Jungkook smiled, rolling onto his back, eyes red and puffy, nose red and puffy, lips red and puffy, “You’re back. Come in bed and let’s watch a movie.”

“First, take your medicine,” you ordered as he took his remote control off the nightstand and began searching through Disney movies.

“Princess and the Frog or Tangled?”

“Jungkook,” you warned him as he talked to himself.

“Princess and the Frog, I completely agree,” he mumbled to himself, “You’re like Tiana, personality wise and I’m like Naveen.”

“You’re more like Louis,” you told him as you handed him the medicine and a glass of water.

“Did you just call me an alligator?” He asked with furrowed brows as he attempted to glare at you but he couldn’t.

“Big scary baby just like you.”

“So mean to me,” he mumbled as he looked down at the bowl of soup before letting his jaw drop.

Your brows furrowed, “What’s wrong?”

“Aren’t you going to feed me?” Jungkook asked cutely. As much as you wanted to smack him, he was sick and you owe it to him to be here. You want him to see you care about him just as much as he cares about you and if that means spoon feeding him to make him happy, you’ll do it.

“I didn’t know having a fever meant you can’t use your hands,” you teased as you blew softly on the hot soup before bringing it toward his mouth, “And you better eat all this because I hate cooking.”

“Yes ma’am,” he joked as he took the spoon finally and began shoving it all into his mouth, “So good, I should snap a picture and post this on Twitter—I mean, ‘X’, and tag Gordon Ramsey.”

“Shut up,” you laughed.

Once he was done, he threw himself back with a burp, “Wow I feel so much better.”

“I’m sure you do.”

“I do,” Jungkook nodded his head, “Guess I was away from you too long and my body couldn’t take it.”

“Oh my god,” you groaned, “So dramatic.”

He laughed, “Kiss?”

“No, you're still sick, I could hear it in your voice,” you told him and he pretended to glare at you. “Y/n. Kiss. Now.”

“No—Jungkook!”

He tackled you onto the bed, putting his entire weight on you and trapping you beneath him, “Kiss.”

With a tired groan you nodded, arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down until your lips met. Jungkook smiled into the kiss, making himself more comfortable between your legs, not wanting to pull away even when you gently pushed at his chest. “Okay, Kook, there, you already can’t breathe well with your runny nose, let’s not push it.”

“Mm,” he groaned, “Baby, I’m sick, you can’t keep pushing me away.”

“How can I push you away when you’ve got me trapped under you?” You asked, tilting your head cutely that he smiled, squirming a bit over you.

“Right, I forgot.”

You spent two days dealing with your sick boyfriend who was the neediest baby you’ve ever met in your entire life, but you’d do it all over again.

::.

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