#I usually hate writing lowercase poetry but I thought the unfinished look it gives
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#my poetry#Horuspoetry#This oneās never gonna get professionally published so here it is#I usually hate writing lowercase poetry but I thought the unfinished look it gives#poems worked with the subject matter#I also wanted to work in a space detailing the experience of growing up neurodivergent#where you are functionally gendered as a failure#A lot of the details (the burying or the hands-to-eyes) are based on my own life. As is like. The general feeling. Which was basically my#standard from ages 3-9. the description of things outside is based on the memories I have of my old backyard when I was really little#And of the park I used to go to#I have a lot of memories of thinking of myself as basically already dead but also not really *understanding* the difference between being#dead and alive?#Idk. I think the perspective I am writing from is that of the child#but also in some ways Iāve noticed the way I behave towards my memories of my past self resembles the ableist way adults treated me when I#was a kid#As if somehow#There was something justā¦ wrong with me and me only and so I deserved it#So this was also an attempt to show compassion to that child and break from that belief. To say āthis was fucked upā#And that I donāt believe that there was something wrong with me after all and even if there HAD been I wouldnāt have deserved that treatmen#No one does
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