#I used to be very nervous about eden as a moth as we had next to nothing (spells were not around yet) and krills did not forget your flying

[sky-poprocks]

Just went to eden on sunday with a friend for the first time, it didn’t seem too hard

I’m ready to get fucking obliterated when I go there on my own this saturday (i hath collected all my wongs back)

Is eden hard by your standards

Also how the fuck do I get new cosmetics i look like a moth people keep trying to uber me around I CAN FLY ON MY OWN LEAVE ME ALONE

oh lil guy, your next step is teasing krill and flying through eden to skip 99% of the path... to then get lost oobs and very confused if you're half-awake doing it

Eden is stupid easy, but it has gained more difficulty due to the fact you now crawl... so it's far more difficult to get all the statues.(of which I do, I nearly always get still the last statue unless I'm fucking around.)

the more difficult part of eden is when you've done it so offen it feels like a chore to recollect all that winged light. that's the real horrors of eden.

but uh anyways, bud you're still a moth. You're just very independent for one. Moths are simply new players- you're going to be one for a while (until you are oddly skilled at a good portion of the sky mechanics imo, but also doing eden first time alone is a major milestone).

[vivi-the-sky-kid]

Sowing the Seeds (of Love), Chapter 1

Aka the Resh/OC Fix-It Fic Nobody Asked for but I'm Inflicting on All of You Anyways as Punishment for Kai's Your Hubris

The King has always been a mysterious figure in the annals of the Sky Kingdom's history, generating both awe and fear within the hearts of the sky spirits. Few can claim to have met them in person; certainly not Tav, a researcher of light creatures for the Vault of Knowledge. But when they discover their research may be used to harm the very creatures they know and love, Tav knows they cannot allow this to happen.

Somehow, they must change the King's mind. If that means throwing butterflies at their royal face, then so be it.

-<◇>-

Warnings: Will be added to each chapter when necessary, but there's not gonna be anything graphic in this (do send me an ask if you think there's something I should warn about tho)

Rating: T (just to be on the safe side)

Pairing(s): Resh/OC

Tag(s): Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies

Additional Tag(s): Resh and Alef are twins, Resh and Tav are both nonbinary, Resh uses he/they, Tav uses she/they, Resh is demiromantic and pansexual, Tav is biromantic and demisexual, no beta we die like moths in eden

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

-<◇>-

Chapter 1

Word Count: 2,477

Warning(s): None

-<◇>-

Fury powered her strides as Tav marched towards the elevator leading to Elder Lamed's level of the Vault. What they had overheard... it was unthinkable! Outrageous! And they intended to let Lamed know exactly that! She couldn't let her research be used like this. Not to harm the very creatures they had spent their life studying.

Onwards and upwards she went, a lone figure on the elevator. Scholars sorting memory cubes and acolytes tending to the spiritual residue of the Kingdom's history flew past her vision. Finally, the elevator came to a stop, its power diamond moving to rest over the Elder statues, and Tav mustered their psychokinetic powers to fly the short distance to the grassy island. That had been a trick the mantas had helped her master; if not for them, she would still struggle to get around Vault's upper levels like before. They took a breath to steady themself, adjusted the prairie lily clipped to their hair, and moved forward.

As they crested the structure bearing the Elder statues, Tav looked around. She could see no sign of Elder Lamed, which meant, more likely than not, the Elder had withdrawn into their private domain. There was nothing for it but to light the altar candles, sit before their statue, and pray.

Their legs had started to fall asleep when they finally felt the brush against their mind that meant Lamed had heard their prayer, and was ready to listen. She relaxed and let the Elder pull their consciousness into that dreamy world. When they next opened their eyes, they knelt in the same spot, although the elevator diamond was now gone, casting the area in comfortable shadows. In the statue's place stood Lamed, gazing down at her with an unreadable look.

“Ah, so you are the one who prayed. Tav, was it? Head of the light creature research effort?”

“That's correct, Elder Lamed. I've come to you regarding a decision involving my research.”

“Is that so?” Their eyes flickered beneath the mask, before they dipped their head. “Very well. Speak.”

Tav jumped to their feet, hands clenching the fabric of their robe. “Elder Lamed, I cannot permit my research to be used to develop these 'dark weapons' R&D is proposing! Light creatures are beautiful, wonderful creatures that share a great deal in common with us. They are intelligent, gentle, and loving beings. To turn them into weapons is... is... is out of the question!”

The Elder's eyes had grown wide at her outburst, but soon closed as they pressed a hand to their forehead. “Really, Tav, you're being unreasonable. R&D has already gained permission from the King to go forth with this project. Are you saying you doubt His Majesty's judgment regarding the good of the kingdom?”

“Yes!”

Silence filled the domain. Sweat began running down Tav's back as a great pressure weighed down on them. When they almost gave in and knelt once more, it lifted, and Lamed turned away.

“I expect your research to be turned in to the Vault at the appropriate deadline. Is that understood?”

Tav was silent.

“I said, is that understood, Tav?”

“...It is, Elder Lamed.”

“Good. You are dismissed.”

With that, their vision swam, and they closed their eyes to ward off the nausea. Upon opening them, she found herself back at the summit, the power diamond shining coldly overhead. They looked up at the statue and sighed.

Resolve filled them once more, and they stood and walked back to the elevator. Lamed may not have listened, but there was one more person she could try to convince. All reports of the King had them as a kind and benevolent ruler who listened to the people, yet these latest projects said otherwise. Which was the truth, and which was a lie? There was only one way to find out.

Tav swallowed the lump of fear in her throat. This was no time to get cold feet. The light creatures were counting on them.

First things first, however. She needed to keep her research out of the wrong hands.

-<◇>-

Another day, another round of paperwork. Resh sighed inwardly as he dipped his manta quill into the inkwell to sign the latest report from the Golden Land's biggest sunsteel refinery. Production was holding steady due to the shipment of light from Daylight Prairie, and they would likely have enough in reserve for the little project Vault R&D had recently proposed.

A soft call from the doorway caught their attention, and they lifted their head. One of the guards—a new recruit, if their nervous demeanor was any indication—was standing there somewhat awkwardly, but snapped to attention once his gaze was upon them.

Yes, definitely new. That salute was just a little bit too sloppy to be one of the older members.

“What is it?” he said, fixing his gaze on them.

They stiffened. “Y-Your Majesty, there is... a researcher from the Vault demanding to speak with you. They refuse to leave otherwise.”

“Return them to the Vault. We have no time for a meeting, let alone with some unknown researcher,” they replied, returning to their paperwork.

“What do they want?” said a new voice, chiming up from the door leading further into the royal quarters.

Resh blinked and slowly turned towards it. Watching the exchange was their twin, Alef, still dressed in the formal wear of the golden mask, yellow-painted pizaine, and midnight-blue cloak they used for being the public face of the King. They must have returned a short time ago from their trip to the Valley.

“Your Majesty, they have requested you withdraw your support for the Dark Matter Bioweapon project.”

“Have they, now?” Resh shook his head. “Unfortunately, it is too late. The proposal has been signed and delivered to the Vault. To withdraw it now would be equivalent to saying We have made a mistake.”

They let the implications of that statement hang in the air like a sword above the guard's head. With a stammered response of, “Of course, Your Majesty,” they left, and soon only Alef and Resh remained in the office. The latter ignored the former's pointed look, turning back to the stack of paperwork that had yet to be completed with another sigh.

“You've been doing that a lot lately. Perhaps you should take a break.”

Resh shot them a glare out of the corner of his eye, but did not stop his work. Only when they had signed a petition to expand the Valley of Triumph, a tally of candle production in the Isle of Dawn, and a request for more light shipments to the Hidden Forest, did they gesture with their free hand to the desk's contents.

“As you can see, Alef, I am kept busy with the affairs of the kingdom. I am King, after all. My guidance is needed to ensure the kingdom's prosperity.” He dipped the quill into the inkwell once more and grabbed another piece of paper—this time, a request from the Valley to provide them with more boats, as some had broken recently.

“I cannot rest until I have dealt with these matters” —and they said this last bit under their breath— “even if they are incredibly dull.”

Alef hummed and moved closer, cloak swishing softly around his body. They picked up one of the papers in the discarded stack, scanned it, and then looked to Resh. “Surely you can rest from these for a short time? All work and no play makes one a dull star.”

“How rich, coming from the one who only concerns themself with attending celebrations and avoiding any work here,” they replied.

Alef narrowed his eyes, then shook his head and shrugged.

“You want me to do some work here? Very well.” They went up to the switch next to the desk, which would summon a guard when activated (not that Resh had ever used it), and called forth their inner flame in one hand to light it. Soon enough, the same guard from before came to the office. They gave the salute again, a little more firmly this time.

“You called, Your Majesty?”

“Is the researcher still here?”

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty. I was on my way to relay your wishes when you summoned me back.”

“I have decided to grant them an audience. Please have them escorted to the throne room.”

“Oh, uh...” They cleared their throat. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

“What are you doing?” Resh said, eyeing their sibling with suspicion.

“Work. You said you were too busy to meet with them, didn't you? Well, it just so happens that I am remarkably free. As your dear elder sibling, it is the least I can do for you, Resh.”

With that, they glided from the office before Resh could stop them, leaving him standing with his hand grasping at air.

They sighed.

-<◇>-

The throne room was easily the largest chamber of the Palace, with a throne built to match—a deliberate choice on Resh's part, during its construction all those years ago. Looking the part was half the battle, and what better way to show your kingliness than by being five times the size of Elder Tsadi, he had said. Which Alef now was, having shifted in size to full height as they approached the throne room. The guards at the entrance snapped to attention, and he nodded in greeting as he passed through.

Near the far wall was the diminutive figure of the researcher, their head craned back to take in the full view of the mural displayed there. Two guards flanked them, ensuring they didn't go anywhere they weren't supposed to be. Alef cleared their throat, the sound echoing to every nook and cranny due to the chamber's acoustics, and every person in the room jumped. The guards soon lined up and stood at attention, and the rogue researcher turned to look at him as he took his place on the throne. One guard said something quietly to them, and the researcher nodded, brushed out their robe, and walked forward beside the guards.

“So this is the spirit who requested an audience with Us?” Alef intoned, glancing down at the guard who escorted them, and they nodded timidly. His eyes returned to the spirit, noting that, even with the crest typical of the Vault's senior members, they barely surpassed most of the guards in height. Despite this huge difference in size between them and himself, they barely trembled.

How interesting.

“We permit you to speak, spirit.”

They bowed in acknowledgment, and upon straightening, called out, “Your Majesty, I must urge you to reconsider this Dark Matter Bioweapon project! Light creatures are our friends. They do not deserve to be treated like mere tools, to be used up and cast aside!”

Alef tilted their head to the side thoughtfully, taking their chin between their thumb and index finger.

“...What is your name, star?”

“My name is Tav, Your Majesty. Head of the Vault's research into light creatures.”

“I see.” They leaned forward, casting their shadow over Tav. “Tell Us, Tav. This project is intended to better the kingdom's future. If light creatures are our friends, do they not owe this kingdom their aid, in whatever form we require?”

Tav stepped forward, their hands balling up at their sides.

“There must be a better way than this! Whatever future that project holds is worse than one where we treat the light creatures as our allies. I know it! Please, Your Majesty, let me show you.”

How very interesting.

And exactly what they needed.

Alef steepled their fingers before them, resting their elbows on the armrests of the throne. A sly grin formed on his face. Though it was hidden by their mask, Tav seemed to sense its presence, because they took an involuntary step back.

“We have an offer for you, Tav.”

At the same time, they called out to their sibling and requested their presence in the throne room.

-<◇>-

Resh sighed as they walked.

At one point, the magnificent tapestries and luminous murals decorating the walls of the throne room had brought him such joy. But that had been many, many years ago—too many to count. Now they were just another feature of the brilliant, intricate, boringthrone room, easily ignored in favor of dealing with the unwelcome researcher currently standing before the throne. The reason they had been called away from their work by their sibling.

“Ah, there you are,” Alef said from their spot on the throne. They turned back to the spirit. “Resh is Our Will, you see. They are the one who approved the project. Now, We will send a message to the Vault requesting that they do not proceed with the project until We permit. You have until then to persuade Resh of the truth of your words.”

...What?

The two of them turned, and Resh winced when he realized he had spoken aloud.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty. I was just wondering what this task you have given me is.”

“Ah, of course. You see, Resh, Tav here would like to show Us that light creatures should not be used in the Dark Matter Bioweapon project. However, We have our duties to contend with, and so cannot leave the Palace for such a matter. You, on the other hand, are Our Will, and so We have decided that you shall go in Our stead.”

Even from this distance, and even with the mask hiding their face, Resh could feel the gleeful smugness radiating from Alef like heat from a flame. Their most venomous thoughts, directed like psychic arrows at their twin, only increased the smugness, and so, narrowing their eyes, they bowed courteously to the researcher—Tav, was it?

“As you wish, Your Majesty. When shall we be departing?”

“I assume Tav here needs some time to prepare their case. We shall permit them a day to do so. On the morrow, you shall follow after them to...?”

“Oh, uh, Daylight Prairie, Your Majesty.”

“Daylight Prairie. I can see why you chose to do your research there.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Tav said, bowing deeply before leaving with their escorts.

When they were gone, Resh unleashed the full force of their glare at Alef, folding their arms before their chest.

“What are you plotting?”

“Why, nothing! Simply giving you the rest you deserve,” they said, rising from the throne. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I do believe there is paperwork with my name on it. Don't be late for the boat tomorrow, Resh. It would reflect poorly on Us.”

With that, they waved and left, shrinking back down to a more manageable size as they went. Resh watched them go, scowling and boring holes into the back of their head.

Then he sighed and returned to the royal quarters to rest and prepare appropriate clothing for this farce.

Alef would pay for this.

-<◇>-

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

[florarie5a]

PATCHOULI

Florarie Patchouli Flowers 🌸 The Freshest Of Flowers In A Unique Approach 🌸 We Know It’s The Little Things That Make Each Memory Last A Lifetime, Flower Shop 🌸 Couture Events 🌸 buchete de flori in cutie PATCHOULI STORY LOTS OF PEOPLE ASK ME HOW PATCHOULI BRAND WAS CREATED. FOR THEM I HAVE DECIDED TO WRITE THIS STORY … The PATCHOULI Story begins with a wish, a name and a passion. In 2012 I was in London for the … I do not know how many times, looking for inspiration. I spent there over a month – burning for a new beginning, for setting up a new business representative for me to allow myself to express myself. We, people, suffer a lot when we do not have the chance to create, to express ourselves. So, I was wandering along the famous King’s Road and through Harrods, hoping to find something to catch my attention. It was there I’ve found some of the most opulent flower shops I’ve ever seen. I was swept by their sense of beauty, the artistic and creative boutique side. And then, I made the connection … The connection with my name. Although I did not realize until that moment, my name was predestined for the floral world, towards which only (too) late I was directing my senses. My royal names are imposing, royal names, with echoes in the world history. But Viorica did not sound to me, until that moment, as a source of inspiration in none of my previous professional activities. Even though in the past I was involved in many other business activities, the greatest passion was only to come, or, better said, to the blossom, right from the etymology of my name. Reaching this land of scents, colors and forms, I knew that the next step was the setting up of the first shop of floral creation in Romania. At first I intended to call it Patchouli & Bergamot , but it seemed too long. Patchouli is another name for Pogostemon Cablin, a bushy plant from the mint family, being one of the aromatic plants that grow in India. As of the 19 thcentury, the traders were using patchouli leaves between the cashmere wool shawls to protect the merchandise from the moths. The oil extracted from the leaves of this plant has a strong exotic aroma with a scent of sweet musk. In the East, the plant has various uses: in cosmetics, in aromatherapy, in treating nervous diseases or infections. In perfumery, the patchouli oil has been used since 1960. They say that sprayed on money or on wallets it attracts more money … Another essence that delights my senses is the vetiver. Although both scents are masculine and strong, they are among my favorites – I, myself, being passionate of perfumes, which I collect from all my trips. Following the decision that the brand name will be PATCHOULI, I visualized the concept of the entire floral workshop: from the interior to exterior. The space for the workshop to function in Piata Dorobanti is asymmetric, with lateral glass walls – meaning it was a harsh volume that needed to be tamed in order to welcome the flowers. I thought that vintage curvy furniture contributes to the warming of the space. The centerpiece is the working table, the place where all is happening, while the black floor reflects the Patchouli logo background. On the first part of the table I imagined us creating the bouquet, wrapping it up in tissue paper or in specially branded bags, while at the opposite end the creation process to start all over again. Once the entire process was settled, meaning the technique of combining colors and flowers and considering the client’s budget, we succeeded to create spectacular bouquets within 5 to 10 minutes! The idea of a floral concept store was highly welcomed by the public, from the very beginning. The clients were amazed about the fact that the entire process was unfolding before their very eyes, rapidly and efficiently. At that moment, Patchouli was the sole concept store of the kind on the entire Romanian market, so the most frequently asked question was whether we are an international franchise. The concept in itself is still not widely spread, due to the fact that the custom is for the bouquets to be ready made and exposed for rapid sale. We chose to continuously have very fresh flowers, so as our customers may have the chance to appreciate them and to participate at the creative process.  Hence, they are always aware of the content of the bouquets they buy. People were very excited with the newly and stylish opened store, always full of flowers from all over the world. The window was aimed at being another sensational element of our marketing strategy: wooden cages full of luxuriant flowers disposed in a chosen lack of symmetry and boxes with succulent plants – a static show full of life at which every passer on the street was a witness in awe! Many of these passers were reticent at coming into the store… they were expecting exorbitant prices. I remember the first order I made: I could’ve decorated the entire Dorobanti market with that quantity of flowers! Being in contact with these beauties for the first time, I wanted to learn, to feel their variety, diversity, color and to master them in every aspect. I was longing to meet Anthurium, Amaranthus, Cymbidium, Phalenopsis, Astilba, Eustoma and the rest of the flowers that caught my eye and spirit. The space of the store of 38 square meters, plus the basement, soon became insufficient, despite the overlays our imagination came up with. The only solution was to go out in the street and exhibit our flowers and bouquets, to the delight of the passers. I started to study and register the behavior in time of each flower, so as to learn its resiliency, its specific characteristics. Consequently, I made my own selection and customized my orders so as the variety of merchandise one may meet in Patchouli concept store cannot be found no place else. Along my journeys I was constantly attracted by books and magazines in the domain. I bought everything I could find about flowers and decorations, thus created a vast collection of catalogues. The next step was to ask the suppliers for new and original types of flowers that they never heard of… Slowly, they started to import them and the uniqueness and specificity of our offer have won a special place in our client’s hearts. Moreover, from the very first day our store opened, our staff was specially equipped with branded aprons and vests. We did not stop there: the branded ribbon, the tissue paper and the black paper bag, all of them have contributed to our brand identity. No one before had the courage to use black in this kind of creations, despite this color’s elegant and stylish touch, especially in combination with silver and gold! A visually attractive combination of flowers was studied in order to realize exquisite and unique bouquets and arrangements. This is how we found our place on the market, we got to be known and, following constant positive feed-back, we became notorious. One of the feed- backs close to me heart and that will remain in my memory forever is that each time a Patchouli bouquets or arrangement is presented it’s like a Chanel piece of fashion entering the room – a reason of huge satisfaction for myself and my team. People, in general, were used to a round and extremely compact type of bouquet. We started to educate our customers and to impose our vision on this art, which was a little bit difficult at the beginning. Slightly, the taste for our creations grew so as we can say that we have launched the new trend in the floral design, another great satisfaction for our work. My favorite floral design is the  ‘sauvage’ type, the one that gives you the feeling that the component flowers just have been picked up from the garden –fresh and special. The wrapping added to the style: we have introduced lace, ribbons of all kind and colors, newspaper type of exterior packaging. Starting from this unconventional wrapping, in the context of running a flowers concept store, we created also unconventional arrangements using any object that was inspiring us: boxes, cups, objects of all kind and value. Eventually, a floral arrangement may be realized both in a silver or rusty bowl, each of them bearing their own originality. Owning your business comes with the greatest advantage of all: freedom of decision. So, I decided to give up some flowers that were extensively used on the Romanian market, such as the one we call ‘bride’s flower’, as well as Aspidistra, which is mostly used at funeral creations. In exchange, I introduced various types of eucalyptus: Euchalyptus Cinerea, Baby Blue, Berry, with berries or flowers, or fruits, mimosa and many other types of green plants that add even more value to the bouquets. We also have created the Patchouli candle to represent us by its pithy, vibrant scent. In this way, through the elements that we gathered, we succeeded to make Patchouli a remarkable brand in people’s life, seeding in them the desire to give more, better and more passionately. Despite my strong character, the background is one of a sensitive woman. I love perfumes, trips and adventures – it’s them from where I get my inspiration. Even before Patchouli concept store was created, when I was acting in the advertising industry, I participated at various design international fairs and events. I applied that experience once with launching Patchouli. Passionate by interior design, I created and built a spectacular fountain and placed it among flowers, like a tranquility oasis in the back of the store. In this way, I wished to inspire those who come inside a peaceful feeling, like the one in the Garden of Eden. Lots of people envy us for the nature of our work: the wonderful environment, constantly surrounded by the nature’s beauty. However, underneath that is the assiduous work, the sweet care for the flowers, customers and the business as a whole. Among my trips, an experience dear to my heart, like an anniversary present, is the meeting I had with Jeff Leatham, one of the greatest floral artists of the world, the artistic manager of the Four Seasons Hotel in Paris. The “eternity” I spent with him and his advice have been a true joy and represented a new source of inspiration. I hope to meet him again, why not, in the Patchouli ‘garden’. It is this experience that inspired my new project – the PATCHOULI Garden Showroom – a place where to withdraw the PATCHOULI essence from. I combined flowers with interior design and created a new location where a house and its garden host the home, flowers and decorations concept. It is a special concept, targeting those who appreciate nature and aesthetics in every corner at home, at the office, in the restaurants or hotels. It’s about colors, shapes and perfume symphony, where the queens of the show change their gala costumes. Behind them, as the director, my aim is to admire and talk to them, delighted by their majestic silence. Like them, I myself, become speechless. When our silent dialogue turns into a meditatively one, just the beauty of flowers give rise to new stories.

[dogboy-willgraham]

Hmm...otp of your choosing and misunderstandings/confession? :3c or argument/makeup-cuddling?

(Thank you for the ask, I’ll be doing misunderstanding/confession for Ineffable Husbands) 

Aziraphale squeezes the dust rag in his hand. He’s cleaning again. Not because he wants to, or needs to, but because he needs something, anything to do besides think about Crowley right now.

The demon’s been like a flashing light recently. In and present one moment, gone the next. 

It’s driving Aziraphale insane, and if he didn’t know better, he’d beg Crowley to explain. But he does know better, and that’s what makes it worse. He knows why Crowley is dropping dinners and wine nights like moths in flames. And Aziraphale tries to tell himself that it’s his fault he’s not told Crowley, but he can’t help but feel hurt, was some random human more important than him?

And Aziraphale squeezes the rag harder, the frustration and pain threatening to pour out again. 

But he doesn’t let it, instead, going back to dusting his first editions with a bit more force than he thinks he’s using. 

---

Crowley wipes his brow with the back of his dirt-stained hand. England finally decided to be hot for once, quite inconveniently. Of course, he could theorectically make the weather obey his will, but that would take energy that he can’t spare right now.

It might suck balls, but once it was finished, it would hopefully all be worth it. 

The demon knows he’s playing with fire, doing all of this before telling Aziraphale the thing, but if he had to go out, he’d rather go out in style. 

He grabs the red roses, placing them in between the red tulips. 

Crowley might’ve slept through the Victorian Era, but he still picked up on the trend of flowers having secret meanings, saying what he couldn’t say.

He thinks it almost pathetic really, he had it so bad he had to use plants to confess.

At the very least he could hope for is that Aziraphale didn’t see the nervous desprateness of it. That it would charm the angel instead of scaring him off or producing some bad result-

Crowley was drug out of his thoughts by his phone ringing. 

Fuck, he was late again. He should’ve been there over twenty minutes ago.

He gets up and miracles himself dressed appropriately and the dirt off of him, not noticing that he’s left the sweat on himself.

“We can wrap up for the day Fern,” Crowley says to the woman in the violets and yellow tulips. “Thanks for all the help,”

Fern turns around, smiling and covered in dirt. “No problem Anthony, always been a sucker for your love-story, couldn’t not help you,”

Fern has been a lifeline for Crowley recently, not that he’d admit. She’d been giving him the confidence to not give up on this whole infernal plan. 

“Whatever, s’didn’t have to help,” Crowley hates when Fern talks about it like that.

“Doesn’t look like you could’ve done it yourself. Thought you were going to have a blessed panic attack when you told me what you were planning,”  Fern snickers. “And who am I to let this be less than perfect for angel,”

“Don’t sssay that,” Crowley hisses, but it has no power. “Just get some tea or something, I’ve got to rush to the Ritz,” He power-walks into the cottage, out of sight.

“Good luck lover-boy!” Fern calls after him. 

---

Aziraphale stares into his wine glass. Crowley is now twenty minutes late. 

Envy may be a sin, but how could he not envy the woman who lies with Crowley? How could he not envy the woman who got to feel that forked tongue or thin lips or rough but gentle hands or-

A loud bang breaks him from thought. He turns to see Crowley practically running to him. 

“A-angel,” The demon pants as he slides into his chair, trying to sit like he doesn’t care while he catches his breath. “I-I was busy with...something, lost track of time,”

Aziraphale doesn’t fight him on that. “Of course, not a problem,”

The demon smiles, and Aziraphale can feel his heart clench. “So what do you want angel? I’m paying,”

---

By the end of dinner Aziraphale feels sick. He can see the dried sweat on Crowley, the unnatural smokiness of it could smell nice, if it wasn’t for where Aziraphale thought why the demon had been sweating. 

How had he pleasured that woman? Did he enjoy it? Did he think of doing it to Azira-

“Ready to go drink ourselves silly angel?” Crowley asked, already pulling his car-keys out.

“I think I’ll walk home,” Aziraphale says flatly. 

Crowley seems confused. “Come one, I missed the last wine night and I said I’d make up for it, I even found the good shit from Greece,” He tries. 

“I’m not in the mood for it Crowley, maybe another night,” Aziraphale stands up and begins to walk to the door.

“Hey, angel! I know I’ve been a real prick for the last few weeks, but let me make it up to you,” Crowley pleaded running after Aziraphale. 

“I’m sure you’re quite busy dear boy, so I won’t interfere,” Aziraphale spits, sounding more bitter than he intends, but doesn’t apologize. 

“Really angel, I swear, I’m sorry for being such a cock! I’ve just been really busy and-”

Aziraphale snaps around to stare at Crowley with icy eyes. “I’m sure she requires a lot of your time,” He bites, expecting Crowley to come clean or try and cover it up.

But instead, the ginger only looks confused. “She? Who’s she angel? I’m not following,

“Don’t play dumb Crowley! I know about the woman you keep picking up from your flat building, smiling at her like she’s the most important thing in you life!” Aziraphale tries to sound angry, but instead he sound hurt and sad. 

A dawing look of realization begins to cross Crowley’s face. Quickly turning his confused grimace to one of shock. 

“You-You think I’m, that I’m, I’m sleeping with her?” Crowley stammers. 

“Yes! What else are you doing with her?!” The angel whimpers through the tears that are beginning to slide down his face.

Crowley frowns deeply, saddened by the information. Wordlessly he wraps his arms around Aziraphale, squeezing like it’d push the thought out of the angel’s head.

“Oh, I’m so sorry angel, so sorry angel,” Crowley whispers into Aziraphale’s ear. “I’m sorry that you got that impression,” 

“W-what?” Aziraphale croaks. 

“I’m going to show you something, I didn’t want you to see before it was ready, but I think it’s about time now,” The demon doesn’t let Aziraphale protest before he’s snapping his fingers, sending the two into the garden in the South Downs Cottage.

---

When Aziraphale opens his eyes. He’s in an unfamiliar place. It smells earthy and wet here, not the polluted air of London.

He looks around, and sees that he’s standing in the middle of a garden of flowers. It’s lit dimly with amber bulbs strung up in crawling vines on a stone fence.

He looks back to Crowley. “What is this?”

Crowley laughs nervously. “I’d like it to be the Eden that never was. Forever happy and loved. But I’m missing something in it,”

“What are you missing?” 

“You. It’s always been you. You are everything that makes anything worth it. That’s why I was bringing that woman around in my car, I wanted Eden to be perfect for you,” Crowley blushes and looks away.

“Oh, Crowley,” Aziraphale crumples, he buries his face into the demon’s neck and sobs. 

“Shhh, don’t cry angel, there’s no need. All is forgiven angel,” Crowley pets Aziraphale’s hair. “Just need to ask you one question,”

Aziraphale sucks back a sob. Looking up with watery eyes and asks, “Yes?”

The demon drops to one knee and pulls out a small black box. “Forgive me if this is too fast angel, but I’m madly in love with you. Have been for six thousand years. I’d be eternally grateful if you would stay with me for eternity,” Crowley admits, opening the black box to reveal a silver ring. The design of a snake wrapped around it with bright yellow gem eyes staring at him. 

“So, what do you say angel?”

Aziraphale chokes on his words for minutes, but when he’s collected himself as best as he can, “Yes,” Is all he can say.

Crowley, in a flash, slips the ring on Aziraphale and kisses him like a drowning man finding air. 

They kiss for what feels like eternity, but ends in what feels like a second.

“I love you Crowley,” Aziraphale whispers. “I’m sorry for accusing you of such things. Especially when I never told you how I feel,” 

Crowley kisses him again. “All is forgiven angel,”

(Thanks for reading!)

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

[maelstrom3]

My last post got erased, so maybe that’s a good thing. It was just a rant about insecurity and stuff. Last night we went on a date and it was really good. We parked at her job and luckily she  knows the area so she  lead us to the sandwich shop. Right off the bat she was really energetic and friendly in a way that kind of reminded me of mom. The conversation was constant and there was laughing and whatnot. She’s a big loud laugher, which I like. I can’t tell if she’s being overly polite and laughing harder than she wants to but whatever it is it works. We chatted about a whole bunch of stuff, there was thunder she loves thunder and lightning too. She went on a trip to Kenya to help poor people but they sent her to a resort with John travolta? She went to West virginia for some volunteer thing. We picked up the sandwiches and it was funny because she placed the order under her name and I thought she had put it under my name haha. We walked to the reflecting pool. I talked a lot about my bad dating skills and awkward momements. I spent a lot of time telling her these things that might have been an overshare but she seemed really receptive to all of them and valued that I was being vulnerable. I don’t like that dynamic to be honest, I don’t want her to be my therapist. I’ll try and moderate that and make sure it’s all in the name of levity. It mostly was but perhaps a bit of it was more to defend myself and give reason to the ways that I am. Like prefacing a story with a statement. We went ot the reflecting pool and ate sitting on the stones next to it. THe summer rolls were a disaster to eat and we watched ants feast on the fallouts of mine. It was definitely not pretty, I was pretty hungry and not eating very politely but she laughed and enjoyed it. She asked me if I was an insect what insect I would be. I couldn’t come up with anything. It’s a hard questions, either because I don’t know myself, don’t want to describe myself accurately/only want to use positive descriptors, and/or the dificulty in ascribing qualities to bugs. She said I was a stick bug because I was... I can’t remember lol. Maybe I was cool or osmething, I really can’t remember. She asked me what I thought she was and she thought I was going to say ant but she was the opposite. I said jumping spider because she’s an individual. I guess to add on to it she’s energetic/lively and has personality and is likable. Maybe I tried to hard on it haha. I also didn’t want to be complimenting too hard. We finished up and were going back to her job to put the sandwiches in the fridge to get them later. We washed up and as we were leaving a spanish looking family were coming to the door and she let them in, they said they were there to clean and she let them in. I cracked a joke about not throwing my food in the fridge away because I wanted to break the tension of a couple coming out of a workplace after hours. She started to wonder if she just  let people in to rob the place haha. She texted Linda about it and apparently it was fine. We went to the Famished Frog/Caps and had cocktails. I had a raspberry gin blossom one and she had some blueberry lemonade thing. They were kind of awful and completely unmixed. The table was slippery anywhere water would touch because of residual soap. We talked for about 2.5 hours. She was telling me stories about Cooper/Collin from 4th grade (her first heartbreak and the say Collin found out nobody cared if he went missing). She asked me which character I was from Rick and Morty and described herself as Mr.Meseeks because she’s always trying to hard to help and make situations okay, her being loud, and existential dread hahahah. I was telling her when I had the epiphany from reading East of Eden of how these people from a different time and place had the same problems as me and she roasted me or discovering ‘empathy’ and the universal human experience. She told me a story of how in Ireland she was at an Air BnB with a lady named after some goddess, ends with ‘id’, and she kept finishing her tea to be polite and the lady kept refilling it, and the next day the lady made her three whole pots. I was beaming at her the whole time. She’s funny and smart and entertaining and thinks I tell stories funny and can laugh at herself and me and the people around us. I don’t have to be nervous about being myself because she’s magically on the same page.I think she’s attractive, but her mind is just a massive turn on. It makes me feel inadequate, like she’ll eventually find out I can’t keep up. But that hasn’t happened yet and it’s not helpful to worry about it. We left after the closed. I wanted ot kiss her at one point and grabbed her arm and leaned it but it just didn’t happen, she didn’t seem to catch it. Right as they were closing a girl standing by us slowly poured her drink out, then quietly dropped it to the group even though there was a garbage right by. Erin was quietly losing her shit at this ‘garbage person’. I guess that’s where I got confused, at some point she started to turn into Amara. Hilarious overflowing cauldron of sarcasm and resentment towards stupid people. Jesus christ that’s who I am too. We went ot he bathrooms and were in the Famished Frog when it was closed and empty and she said it was a childhood dream of hers. We left and she gave me a tour of the town. I held her hand and she made jokes about it and was weird about it- I asked if I wasn’t supposed to and if it wasn’t okay, I said I just wanted to it was just a feeling and she let me. She has really slender fingers. That lasted till she pointed out a stump that had hollowed and asked why it was hollow. I didn’t know where I stood and didn’t push it but I wanted to. I walked closely and let my hand be there and available just incase but we didn’t hold hands for the rest of the night. I can’t tell if she’s not affectionate or just wasn’t at the same place as me. I would grab and touch her periodically, I did the hug from behind thing. She didn’t resist but she didn’t reciprocate. We walked and talked more and eventually got back to the cars. We went inside her office and chatted briefly. Its a really nice office. We went to the back and sat in her trunk and watched people through the windows and talked. It had ebbs and flows, she asked me what my favorite part of the date was... I can’t remember what I said. Maybe the girl pouring out her drink. I told her a lot of times I was having a really good time. I don’t know if that played in my favor but I was emotionally open throughout the night. She's hard to read. She got onto a thing about how she hates morristown and were joking about it being awful, it really reminded me of Amara. In the light she started to look like who she looked in her Bumble profile. I said something about how I don’t know how she looks. I like her face. She texted me later making fun of me for saying I didn’t know what she looked like. Maybe this is all the dynamic, she’s emotionally guarded and I��m the one who is open and vulnerable.  Eventually she said we should get going and I told her my least favorite part of the date was when I tried to kiss her and it didn’t happen. She said she didn’t realize and I think I sort of asked if we could kiss. Something weird happened and she like moved out of the way, kind of like Lauren. I walked away dramatically about how I’m cursed and came back to her and this time I fucked it up and dodged her kiss and she gave me shit and then we finally kissed. Like moths bumping into  a light bulb haha. It was  nice, it’s weird how you can’t describe how to french kiss but you know how to do it. I gave her shit for still holding onto her stuff and she immediately dropped everything to the floor and like really kissed me. Like a really grabbing kiss. We talke very briefly afterwards and she gave me the song ‘Holocene’ to listen to, I wanted her to listen to I WIsh You Were Here. I had played the song Echo briefly before. I drove home and wasn’t totalyl sure where I stood honestly but I had asked her what her favorite part of the date was and she said all of it. The whole date was a good feeling. It was fun and she made me feel good. She said she would go on a second date so we have to figure that out. I’m trying to figure out how much to text and communicate, she has been unresponsive for some time but  honestly the texting thing is annoyin. Liek do you have to have a running conversation the whole day? WHADYA SUPPOSED TO DO? I’m leaving now to go to a barbeque at Andrews neighbors, Kara should be there. It’s ironic I’m meeting her after having gone on a date with Erin. I’ll go just to make the connection but I hope things work out with Erin, I’m kind of smitten.