#I understand Cardan’s perspective I just love giving him shit for this

[darlingod]

Cardan: *brings his ex back to live on the land and then exiles Jude who he married the night before & who just got back from enduring over a month of torture*

Cardan: *does not have any doubts that Jude could possibly misinterpret this situation*

[acciomanorian]

Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Here’s a little drabble that I did for day 5 of Folktober. I hope you all enjoy it!! I know that it’s not technically day 5, but I finished, and wanted to post it.

As I stepped out of the apartment I shared with my sister, my immediate reaction was to pull my jacket closer to my body. I was definitely not prepared for how cold it was outside, although I should’ve known for the middle of October. I had worn a nicer jacket, more of a suit jacket than a normal one, for a mock trial I had in my Crime and Punishment class. As a pre-law student, I took care to wear appropriate clothing for mock trials, especially the ones that counted for 25% of my grade.  

Unfortunately, I was going to have to suck it up for the walk to campus, because I just didn’t have enough time to go back up the four flights of stairs for a warmer coat. Especially if I wanted to get a warm drink from Campus Coffee, my go-to coffee shop. 

All around me, people were bustling around, hurrying to reach their destination, and I quickly joined the throng of people heading towards Elfhame University. It was only a fifteen minute walk, but the frigid wind gave the appearance that it lasted forever. Taking a peak at my phone, I was relieved to find that I still had 20 minutes before class. I turned right, into the direction of Campus Coffee, only to walk into a cup of some scalding beverage. 

“Shit!” A deep voice said, obviously the owner of whatever concoction had just spilled on top of me. “I am so sorry. Here, have some napkins.” A hand stuffed with napkins moved into my periphery from where I was looking down at my jacket. 

How the hell am I supposed to get this stain out before my presentation? I continued to stare at my jacket, pulled out in front of me, as the stranger began to my jacket with the napkins. 

“Thanks, but I’ve got it.” I grabbed the napkins from his hand, finally looking up at the man trying to help me. “I don’t need help.”

“You may not need help, but maybe I can offer you a coffee. After all, I just spilled mine on you, the least I can offer is to get you a drink of your own.” His dark eyes sparkled in amusement, and also hope. Hope that I will take him up on his offer. I had to admit, the stranger in front of me was really cute, his black hair long and flowy, pulled back into a navy beany. He had a guitar sticking out from his back, although from the looks of the binder in one of his arms (which happened to also be covered in coffee) he wasn’t a music major or anything. 

I checked my phone again. 10 minutes. “Yeah, I think I will take you up on your offer for some coffee… I mean, that’s where I was heading anyways.” 

“Great!” The stranger’s smile was wide as he threw his old coffee cup into the nearest trash and made a grab for my bag, where it had fallen on the ground. I picked it up before he had the chance to, with the assurance that I could carry my own bag. “I’m Cardan, by the way. Cardan Greenbriar.”

“Jude Duarte,” I responded, receiving a look of appreciation from Cardan. I wonder what that means.

As we started walking Cardan continued to look at me, as though he was trying to figure something out. By the time we reached the doors of Campus Coffee, I was beginning to get a little concerned. “Is there something you want to ask me?” I asked as I pulled open the doors, relishing the heat that came from inside the tiny coffee shop.

“No, I mean, yeah… Just you’re the infamous Jude Duarte. Everybody on campus talks about your ruthlessness during mock trials, and how you’re going to be the next best lawyer in the world.”

“Is that all they say about me?” The line of the people in front of us isn’t long, just two people, although it seems like the person currently at the register had ordered the whole store.

Cardan shook his head, smirking. “Well, I also hear that you kick ass at collegiate level fencing, and know how to handle your alcohol.” 

“Now the alcohol might be a bit of a stretch, especially if anybody sees me when I’m drinking with friends, but I wouldn’t say their wrong about my fencing. I’m not the fencing team captain for nothing.” It was true… At the last fencing tournament, I had won gold against all of the opposing teams, including our rivals, the Undersea. In fact, under my captain ship, Elfhame’s fencing team has been number one in the country for three years. 

“Now what about you, Cardan. You seem to know a lot about what I do, but I’ve never heard of you.” I tilted my head as we took a step closer to the counter.

Cardan laughed, and I have to admit that it was a beautiful laugh. “I’m really not surprised that you’ve never heard of me. I’m a pre-med student, dual enrollment with Elfhame Hospital and all that. In my spare time, I’m part of a band, I play guitar.” He pointed to the guitar behind his back. “I also write music and poetry, and I love to read.” Cardan smiled, showing his teeth again. 

It was nice, getting to know Cardan, especially since all my life I had been surrounded by the lawyer types. My father was a lawyer, my mother a lawyer, even the majority of my friends were in law school with me. Ever since I could remember, I had spent my childhood in their offices, helping them with cases. It was something I was passionate about, but it was still nice to meet somebody with a different perspective towards life, who even though they are in med school, can find their passion outside of the competition. Usually, I only had my twin, who was a biology major against all of my parents wishes (which I really didn’t understand because there were a lot of opportunities for bio grads). 

We stepped up to the counter, and Cardan let me speak first. “A pumpkin spice latte, hot with almond milk.” 

At first, I couldn’t quite place the look that Cardan gave me, but then I realized it was joking mockery as he ordered the exact same thing, in almost the exact same tone. I shoved him as we moved over to wait for our drinks, although there was a smile on my face. 

“Really, a pumpkin latte. Really screams basic white bitch, doesn’t it?” I shoved him again, although there was no maliciousness to it.

“Basic white bitch all you want. It’s what’ll get me through my trial today, and I need to win this trial. It's 25% of my grade.” The barista at the counter called our names and we reached over for our coffees, but didn’t immediately part ways. 

“Listen, Jude… I really enjoyed this with you,” Cardan said sheepishly. He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit I’m sure, and something that I would totally use against him if we had been in court. “Do you maybe want to get coffee with me again? I promise, I won’t spill any on you this time.” He grinned softly, as I let out a soft laugh.

“You know what? Sure. I would love to do this again. How about tomorrow night, there’s a coffee shop downtown that I love, and they have the best chocolate crullers.” As he nodded, I hefted my bag on my shoulder and began to walk towards the door. 

“Wait!” I heard as I was walking out the door, back into the frigid air. It wasn’t as cold earlier, but that could also be because of the warmth of the coffee in my hands, or the increased beating of my heart caused by a certain boy. “Can I at least get your number?”

“If you show up tomorrow night, I’ll give you my number,” I called from where I was standing. With that, I turned back to the direction of Justice Hall and began to walk towards class. If anybody saw a smile on my face for the rest of the day, they would assume it was because of my award winning mock trial. After all, nobody expects the die hard lawyer type to fall in love with the musical doctor, right?

Here’s my tag list. If you want to be tagged, just let me know. 

@fantasyfox101

@ireallyshouldsleeprn

@theoceanfaewriter

@snusbandxknifewife

@angelofmusic223

@slightlyrebelliouswriter23

@clockworkgraystairs

@sweetlyvillainous

@b00kworm

@poeticbrownmermaid

@misskillerdarkness

@emmabookworm08

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

[toomuchtimenerd]

Review for ‘The Cruel Prince’ by Holly Black

Wow wow wow. I’ve got some things to say about this book. Yes, this book, not the entire series. Because I can’t bring myself to read the rest of the series. Why? Because I can’t even bring myself to finish this book. Aghhh. I really hate leaving books unfinished, I truly do. I feel like I’m being unfair and not giving the author (and their book) a chance. Maybe one day I will return to this book and finish it, and maybe one day I might like it enough to even finish the series. But right now, I am in shock that I even MADE IT to 80% completion. I really tried to finish it, I really did. But if I read any more pages of this book I will lose the rest of the few brain cells I have left. And I really need those brain cells for when I inevitably go back to school soon. 

Now, I was really excited to start this book/series and I’ve heard nothing but almost amazing reviews from the YA fiction community about this book and Holly Black in general. Heck, even my coworker from two years ago recommended this book to me, and she’s one hell of a nitpicky critic. So yes, I had pretty high hopes going into this. I half expected the Fae/Faerie elements to be similar to Sarah J Maas’ vision of Fae, but it wasn’t and that’s perfectly okay with me. In fact, Holly Black’s world building was probably the best part of the book. Her world building, and character descriptions. Yes, descriptions, not character progression. Because the way each character progressed through the timeline was just one of the many things that rubbed me the wrong way when I was reading. Now onto these other things.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black is about a girl named Jude (story is told from her POV) who is born human but taken from her world into the Faerie world with her twin Taryn and half sister Vivi (who is half faerie). Jude was just living her normal human life until her mother’s Faerie ex-husband arrives at their house and kills Jude’s mom and dad out of sheer vengeance. He then takes all the children back with him to Faerie because he still sees all of them as his duty and responsibility... which is kind of... thoughtful... I guess? This man’s name is Madoc, and he plays somewhat of an important role in the story. He is Vivi’s true father, but treats the three girls all the same, giving them respectful educations and upbringings and etc. 

So there are two ways for mortals to stay in the world of Faerie I think, and that’s either through marriage or by being appointed to a royal court (or something, I’ll be honest I skimmed quite a lot of this book because it was just so difficult to digest sometimes). Ironically, Taryn and Jude both want to stay in the world of Faerie so desperately despite being human mortals whereas Vivi who is actually fae and appears fae and has all the powers of fae despises the place and just wants to live her days with her human girlfriend in the human world. Taryn’s plan is to fall in love and get married, but Jude wants to fight her way to the top and become appointed as a knight to someone’s court. She wants to prove to herself and to everyone else that despite her humanness she still belongs there and she can still be useful. Sounds all dandy right? Sounds like a great start; human girl perseveres and tries to defy the odds while she seeks power in a world that hates her and is constantly trying to oppress her. Not a bad premise, in my honest opinion. It’s just that the execution was horrible.

Now, a large part of what made this book incredibly difficult to read for me is that I really did not like Jude. And it’s so hard to like a book when you don’t like the character that’s narrating the story. She is whiny, she is self-contradicting, she is so incredibly hateful, and virtually everything she does in the entire book is fueled by her own hatred of herself and of others around her. She wishes she could be fae yet despises the fae, she wishes to rid herself of her own mortal weaknesses, she wishes to be the most powerful so nobody can step on her anymore. She hates almost everyone around her, and those that she doesn’t outright hate she barely tolerates them. She hates and hates and her life is literally miserable, yet when Vivi gives her SO MANY opportunities to just say “fuck this” and go back to the world she ACTUALLY BELONGS TO, Jude continues to be like “oh nah I’m fine I’m good everything’s fine I’ma just plot my revenge and it’ll all be great”. Which is fine, but Jude is SO irrational and succumbs to her feelings of hatred so often that she never actually has a real plan to get revenge, she just does things and somehow gets away with it. Like the part where Valerian tries to kill her in her own room but she retaliates and kills him first? How does NO ONE NOTICE that he’s disappeared for so long?? How do NONE of the servants of the house notice his body behind the stables?? None of that whole thing makes any sense, considering Valerian is a child of the Gentry and his disappearance really SHOULD be a big deal for his high-ranking parents. But it’s basically just brushed off and nobody even bothers to bring it up until Jude herself brings it up to Cardan, who literally only gives a one-liner about Valerian’s disappearance before they change the topic. Like... what.

Now as for the main love interest, Prince Cardan. I do not understand his character at all, nor do I even want to at this point. So let me get this straight... he’s an asshole towards Jude because he thinks she is... loved? And he’s jealous because he’s unloved? Okay, but how is that any justification for his seriously brutal treatment towards her? I get some people may be super into the whole “oh he’s been so hurt in his childhood it makes sense that he’s just a tortured soul now” but I don’t know fam I personally don’t believe that childhood trauma is a 100% justification to be a straight asshole to everyone, but hey that’s just my opinion. In the beginning, Cardan just comes off as such a piece of shit disgusting excuse of a character. I get that he is the titular reference ‘Cruel Prince’, but good god I did not expect him to be THIS cruel. He’s straight up just abusive and without ANY good real reason for it. And not only that, he very quickly goes from super abusive to being a drunkard 24/7 who suddenly decides that he doesn’t want to bully Jude anymore by last 30% of the book. Uhhh... character progression? Hello? I don’t know, the whole scene with the faerie fruit and Cardan making an enchanted Jude kiss his feet or something destroyed him as a character to me. That was just too cruel, too far, and his character just had no real substance to bring him back from that brutality. 

Let’s see, side characters... if I can ever remember any of them at this point because I’m pretty sure my brain auto wiped as much of this book as possible overnight. Oh right, Taryn. God, I hated her. And I’m glad that this is a sentiment that I can share with readers who actually did like this book. Taryn is a seriously sorry excuse for a human being, and if I were Jude I think I would’ve tried to strangle her or something. Like I get that she is much more timid than Jude and just wants to fit in with as little violence as possible, but to fuck with your own twin sister like that for the sake of someone’s hand in marriage? Seriously?? I understand what it’s like to want to fit in, I was a stupid and desperate teenager before too, but I would have never done any of the remarkably pathetic things that she did for the sake of “fitting in” and becoming “one of them”. YOU’RE HUMAN!! YOU’LL NEVER BE ONE OF THEM!!! EVEN IF YOU DID PLAY THEIR TWISTED AF GAMES THEY’LL NEVER TRULY ACCEPT YOU AS ONE OF THEM!!!! HOW DO YOU LIVE IN A PLACE FOR TEN YEARS AND STILL BE SO DUMB/IGNORANT!!!!!! Excuse me. I was hopeful for a story that highlights the love shared between two siblings, but this whole relationship just ended up becoming another thing of hate. This entire book is just that: hate everywhere, people being cruel for the sake of it, people being cruel for their own selfish gains, people being cruel out of revenge, people being so cruel because daddy didn’t love him as a child boohoo. 

I think the only character I could even kind of bring myself to enjoy was Vivi. She’s the only daughter who kept her promise of forever disliking Madoc and never truly accepting him as her father. She’s the only one who sees the cruelty of the Faerie world for what it is and despite the fact that she is one of them, she wants none of it and continuously tries to get her sisters out of it because she sees the damage that world has done to both of them. She’s incredibly selfless, especially with the whole Sophie situation and in my opinion she’s probably the only character in the entire 80% of the book I’ve read who actually has a heart and cares for things beyond her own motives. God, maybe I would’ve actually liked this book more if it was told from Vivi’s perspective. There is only so much hatred I can stomach. 

I do want to touch on a few of the good things, and a lot of that is the writing itself and the world building. I despise the book, but I have no negative judgment towards its author. Holly Black is clearly a very talented writer and her writing at its core is generally very easy to follow. The only thing that made this book not easy to follow were the characters and character progression. But the world building was fantastic, I could really envision each and every detail of each setting and I honestly really liked the world that she crafted. It was so unique, different from the worlds I’m used to (since most of my prior experience with fae is Sarah J Maas stuff) and her world of Faerie had that genuine element of fairy-ness to it that Maas’ world of Fae generally lacked. If only the characters were more likable, then Holly Black could have created something seriously amazing... in my eyes of course. Clearly I am in the minority here in regards to my feelings with this book, considering how this series is so highly rated on Goodreads. I feel baited.

With that, I end my rant for this book and will be leaving it at DNF 80%. I will forever keep it on my kindle app, and maybe someday in a couple of years I will have the stomach to read it again and hopefully better appreciate it. Or maybe not. Either way, it’s okay because there are still so many fine books to read and I only have a finite amount of time before my life will become busy again. I think I will be reading some light-hearted contemporary romance before I jump back into YA fantasy again. I need a little comedy and fluff to remedy my heart from all the hate that went on in The Cruel Prince. I’ve always regarded myself as someone with a pretty high tolerance for brutality when it comes to fiction, but this book just made me cringe and feel so uncomfortable. I had to skim many of the bullying scenes, and let’s be real I felt like half this book was just bullying. It got to the point where I was just like, “Ok Holly Black... we get it. Everyone’s a total jackass in Faerie, please stop with the bullying scenes and write some real character progression now.” Ugh. Well, with the weekend ahead of me and some fun plans marked on my calendar as well as a lovely new book in my Amazon cart I hope that in my next review my heart will be lifted and no longer filled with the regret of trying to finish The Cruel Prince.