#I try to do it mostly when he’s shocked or distressed etc

[chloesimaginationthings]

Love when Game Michael does this!

Which Michael sprite reaction is everyone feeling today?

[mclwcc]

it's mostly the delusional shippers that turned me off "carlando."

after qatar when he was being all dramatic and doubting himself, there were full on essays weird carlando shippers were writing about how he clearly just wasn't ready to lead a team and still needed carlos to guide him and encourage him before his mental health spiraled or something idek. like what the everliving fuck do you mean he's not "ready to lead a team?" the guy fucked up and he knew it, yeah maybe was a little too self-critical but he took accountability for his error, he was right there to congratulate and support his teammate despite those feelings, etc. it genuinely amazes me how whenever a teammate outperforms lando we start getting these he's "not ready to lead" or he's "a shit teammate" accusations because those are genuinely the moments where his being a team player shines through for me. he's had a few opportunities now, with basically every f1 teammate he's had, where he could have been a shit team player and gone off to sulk and cry, yet he's been there supporting and celebrating with the team even in those moments.

but idk there's something so infantilizing about people acting like lando needs carlos to function or depends on him to know his worth or talent or abilities. and i'm sure carlos encouraging lando in his rookie year did play an important role in his development, but one of my fave things has been seeing him come to terms with his imposter syndrome and struggles and finding healthy ways of combating and coping with that and genuinely believing in himself. like i don't think these people realize mental health is not just something one person is going to come along and fix - and i think as evidenced by andrea stella's statements on how they were going to try to find ways to help lando spin some of that self-criticism into healthier mindset - that's a continuous battle and something lando himself will have to deal with, to some extent, likely throughout his career. carlos whispering "omg ur so talented mi vida" or whatever these people fantasize about isn't going to do shit for lando after he's screwed up and is punishing himself for it. like idk i'm just not a fan of this lando "damsel in distress who needs carlos to save him" narrative so many carlando people push. he's proven he's more than capable, why the hell people still look at him in any context - whether personally or professionally - and think he needs carlos to function/survive beats me

so like firstly anon u make me feel so lucky that ive managed to avoid the majority of carlando content since like 2021. "writing about how he clearly just wasn't ready to lead a team and still needed carlos to guide him and encourage him before his mental health spiraled or something idek" gives me actual hives one of my biggest icks is when a fan of a 'ship' clearly isnt actually a fan of at least one of the individual drivers on their own. rly theyre just infatuated with whatever collective fantasy of a relationship theyve bought into, and while shipping drivers absolutely does not imply you're unable to confront reality on its own, i do think theres a correlation between intense (read: irl rather than just rpf) shipping culture and absolute delusion about what a driver is like (so when the driver shows their true colours its shock horror hate)

anyways god those r some insane takes about qatar. i do find it funny retrospectively how landos biggest narrative flop was literally a p3 sprint p3 race and ppl acted like he was in p13 getting lapped by oscar. i also think qatar was an obvious demonstration that lando CAN lead the team, and sustain a relationship w his teammate. and he can do those things WELL at that. a pettier person wouldnt have congratulated oscar as much as he did. oscar doesnt even count his sprint win as a win, but lando does - again, a pettier person would go pedantic about the sprint format and refuse to acknowledge it. but he didn't - despite clearly feeling his Feelings the whole weekend, he manned up (unlike someone else that week lmao) and held his head high, smiling for the journos and placating them when they were concerned abt how self-critical he was. i respect and admire him so much for that. thats my guy

yeah the one thing we saw return w a vengeance that week was the self-flagellation - a thing thats not only very much NOT new, but also that landos talked about at length. like hes been SAYING this, this is the main thing he talks about every time he talks about mental health, which is a lot (bless him). this is like when ariana grande wrote a song called 'break up with ur girlfriend im bored' and then years later she broke up a married couple and her fans were like gasp what did this evil hag do how dare she like my beloveds she TOLD YOU. she TOLD you she was like this why did you not LISTEN.

anyways you say some downright beautiful things about lando and his development that i wholeheartedly agree with. "one of my fave things has been seeing him come to terms with his imposter syndrome and struggles and finding healthy ways of combating and coping with that and genuinely believing in himself" is SO true and correct bc like YEAH this is a journey he's been talking about and trying REALLY hard at. this is gonna sound kinda perverse but i think his 2023 challenge is like... unrosberging himself. i think he (following in the footsteps of nico, wait, let me expand on this) took the easy way out of his intense self-doubt and self-criticism: that is, he bought into the (unsustainable) strategy that if he just doesn't make any mistakes, he'll get rid of his impostor syndrome and be mentally healthy. lmao. so its easy for him to look back at 2019 now and be like 'i was way too stressed about being a bad driver but i was just a rookie, i had room to learn, see im better now, no stress', but when he DOES make an error nowadays, i don't think he's quite yet reached the level of stability where he can rly take that on the chin. which, as u say, is SO normal, bc stuff like this is such a continuous battle (i should fucking know my therapist tells me that every session lmao).

its just that the one thing carlandos or other ppl who consume f1 media in similar ways is that carlos comforting him is so not what lando needs or what he'll get either. landos worked w a legit sports psychologist for a while, and he's got jon who clearly actively tries to document himself on how to deal w mental health issues in athletes, and mclaren has just added a team psychologist to their paddock crew, AND like u mentioned, andrea said he'll try to find other ways to help lando mitigate his self-doubt. if anything, carlos whispering sweet nothings to lando (if we entertain the hypothesis n all) will only aggravate him further. not only do i know this from personal experience of how i (a known self-flagellator) respond to that kinda stuff, but he's also like famously rly unreceptive to ppl understating bad situations ("well, the only way is up, isn't it lando?" "n-no, actually, for us it's also down" and all the other extremely funny pressers at the beginning of 2022, esp in australia where everyone was trying to convince him the car was suddenly way better when it was just track-specific performance). AND we also know almost verbatim from carlos (the only f1 driver whos ever spoken abt the less camera-ready aspects of landos personality) that he does Not know what to do w lando when landos in a funk. i rmbr theres this bit in one of the last interviews they did together, that retrospective one, where carlos was talking about landos moods, when he gets quiet and crabby, and how he couldnt get through to him, and it was like lando was a completely diff person. but, yk, whatever serves ppls fantasies ig

so like yeah i absolutely absolutely agree w you that especially within the carlando dynamic theres this super nasty damsel-in-distress element. i think it probably started as ppl projecting onto lando's anxieties and wanting a big strong man with a sexy accent telling them everythings gonna be alright (which so fair), but bc lando wears his failures and deficiencies on his sleeve as a defence mechanism (known fan of low expectations, wants to preempt anyone saying he's shit by saying it himself, this goes from his painful-to-watch post-quali self-criticism to his aggressive anti-intellectualism in general knowledge quizzes) then its so easy for the fandom to characterise him as a hopeless mess, weepy, stressed out, needing someone to come fix shit around him. if lando himself knew this, considering how independent he is, i think he'd have an anneurism lmao. bc like it IS infantilising as well (a pattern w lando). and disrespectful. and dismissive. and w an implication that they dont like lando for his qualities, but for the stuff thats wrong with him, so they can imagine someone making it right and completing the narrative.

and all this over a mess-up in quali that he still converted to a podium. jesus christ. being a lando fan is genuinely exhausting fr

[infpsagittarius]

2022 Christmas holidays

I had a very fun and fruitful 13-day holidays for Christmas.

On the first day I met up with ex-colleagues from my last school. I felt that I really vibe with them way more than with my current colleagues. I'm the nice one in my current school group but already almost the meanest one in my last school group - they are all just soo kind! I love to be friends with them actually.

Then Dima and I went to a Christmas party - eastern European/ slavic based. People were mostly PHD students in Hong Kong and mostly come from Russia, Belarus, Kazakhstan etc. They were sooo quiet and reserved. I was so shocked about the vibe when we arrived at the dinner. Not just me, another girl who arrived way earlier and was involved in the cooking with them also felt the same. Just so shy, quiet and reserved, is that a PHD thing or a slavic thing? I met PHD students who were total party animals before so most likely a cultural thing.

Then on Christmas I went to the AR game centre to play an AR game with Dima and 3 other blockmates. It was fun and scary. Dima said he was totally distressed. I feel bad that he hadn't been able to relax even the interviews were already over.

Then we took a day to kinda organise and pack for our trip to Hanoi, Vietnam.

Then we spent 4 days there (the first day we only arrived and went to bed so it didn't count). I wouldn't say it was relaxing since the roads were always busy occupied with motorcycles and cars. We were alwasy anxious trying to walk. We kinda gave up and called a Grab even it would be an 8-minute walk from Google Maps. But, we did eat a lot of authentic Vietnamese food which I didn't see in Hong Kong. We did see three shows in four days, two of them were live music in bars and 1 was the traditional Vietnamese Puppet water show. We did visit a lot of museums and learnt a lot about the history. We were treated very nicely by the people in service industry too. So the trip was worth the time and money. I wouldn't say I would ever go back again since my style of vacation is to relax. The hustle and bustle just doesn't suit me. Also, I have learnt to be more grateful about how previledged I already am. People there are so poor. I kept asking myself, if I were born there, what would I do to break out of the poverty? It's easy when you have money since you're from another country looking at them, but think about if you were a local and born in poverty, how could you actually get out of that and climb up the social laddar?

It makes me feel that, Hongkongers, including me, are already so priviledged. We are so specific about so many things, like quality of food, quality of our staycation hotel rooms, environment that we are in etc. You might say, yea, but I work and I suffer in exchange of money to enjoy all that stuff, but hey, look at the locals in Vietnam, they work a lot and they suffer too but they are just surviving.

I was soo blue and down 2 days prior to going back to work. I really just don't wanna face all the hectic work and the upcoming class observations. Every day at school it's like go go go go go. Every day I live in a rush. Every day we need to attend meetings and be somewhat mentally abused by the boss. But think about the high salary you earn as a teacher here, think about how you don't need to be micromanaged by some disgusting people working in an office, think about the holidays you get, think about the future possibility to work part-time, think about how all your friends from the last school are going through the same observations. Pay your due and everything is temporary.

Being grateful is so important. We need to have gradtitude to lead a happy life. In fact, things in your life aren't guaranteed.

[tenok]

It's one of this things where only way is to agree to disagree, I think, but I'll share my opinion if you don't mind!

So, you think he made them bleath, I think that nothing in this scene hints that it was his intention (as far as I remember, we didn't see any transition from kids to crows in real time, so for me it looks logical that crows that cawed were just crows with which kids-turned-crows mixed at first, but then as stock tends to do they get to home they know. As for "why they were silent" — because it's cinema and things happen when it plot relevant). You think he looks hopeful, I think that he looks tense and shocked at first and only at the end of this gif he let himself breath. You think he made it specifically to test Aziraphale/hint to him that he lying, I think it's a) too complicated (like, he should've think "okay, I need a way to hint to him (this angel I see third time in my life, if we choose to believe that there was no meetings between this and the Flood) that I don't want to kill kids actually, so I will made it by talking cryptic to him (this angel that can't pick sarcasm to save his life, he'll sure get spectacular with double meanings) and then making crows (that I apparently control individually) to caw, but in that specific moment when we both headed our ways after heated argument, while my first directive is to get to kids and save them before shit started, mind you; I'll do it dramatically while I half left, I won't watch him at all, and all this should hang on the assumption that he knows what sounds crows and kids make, that he will notice this sound while being distressed and deep in mourning, that he will connect it to me and not just brush as weird error of his corporation, will investigate and confront me, and all this should happen in the span of seconds, while I, and I will stress it again, is in rush to save kids and can't afford distractions" and b) it's still unsafe! He risk his whole plan and gamble lives of three kids there, and Crowley can be reckless, but not like this (imho). He's the one that afraid of Satan to the point of not resistance, I don't think he will drop this all on Aziraphale's shoulders as soon in their relationship, he still don't know where his priorities lie and he thinks that he will be the one that will deal with aftermath.

And I think he shows it on his behavior later in night — he doesn't look like the demon that satisfactory confirmed loyalty of someone whom he already trusted and was like, mildly interested in will he/won't he pick his clues. For me (again yes it's all about perspective) he looks like someone whose world turned upside down, and he still tense and performs his demon persona, only now it's not "I'm big bad", now it's "I'm sooo much cooler than heavens and hell and totally not scared shitless by what waits for us tomorrow", and he tests him (now I *do* think that fire, ox ribs, talking about God, all this is him neurosly pocking into boundaries, trying to make sense of what this angel believes, what he will let him do, how far he can push him, how he can use him, etc) up until he lies to archangels. And he finally shows his soft side, that he scared, that all this wasn't fun at all, only after their talk about falling, because only there he get piece he didn't expect to get: that Aziraphale did this all already sure he will damn himself, so he did actually choose becoming a demon instead of harming kids and busting Crowley's cover, so yes, he can trust him and also should protect this soft bastard from everything but mostly important from himself (and he does it later in Edinburgh minisode, taking risks with hell to not let Aziraphale put himself in trouble with heavens, but that's for another post).

Now, keep in mind that it was at least two months since I watched this scene last time. And of course it's one way to watch this scene! Yes, it makes much more logical sense for me than Crowley putting intentional hints, both plot wise and from the point of development of characters and relationships. And it's a matter of taste too: you think your version more satisfactory, I prefer them have a rocky start from both sides, Crowley being more demonic, not so easily trusting, etc, so for me *my* version more satisfactory. It also gives Aziraphale more agency, from my point of view, because otherwise it looks like Crowley controls everything in their relationship and even the moment where Aziraphale so pleased with himself for busting Crowley's "big bad demon" cover is actually was made by Crowley. Don't like it, no. But in the end it's matter of perspective. I don't mind, sure, headcanon what you want, I'm not bothered with this headcanon by itself (I mean, aside of how it paints their dinamic in the way I don't like, but it's me problem lol), it's just not the first time I see this headcanon and people usually talk about it as if it was obliviously stated in canon, and since it's not my experience at all, I get a little surprised/confused. That's all!

Aziraphale tells Crowley he doesn’t want to hurt Job’s children. “tell me you want to,” he says, and Crowley does. but he calls Job and his children and his goats “blameless,” individually as if to get a point across. Crowley is trying to make Aziraphale realize the lie for what it is, that the two of them are on the same page, without saying it outright. a test to see if the angel will catch the underlying meaning of his words/tone, perhaps.

[saintlike78]

Hey! I love your work!!

I was wondering if I could request a poly!maurauders oneshot (or whatever!) where reader manages to hurt herself somehow while having sex (something bent or popped the wrong way etc.) with the boys and she cries out and uses her safe word but it takes her a second to be able to explain what happened and the boys all fret over her? Thanks!!

‘Pop’ [Poly Marauders]

A/N: I loved this request because I 100% could see this happening to me, my joints are just creaky. I hope you enjoy <3

Pairings: Poly! Marauders x Fem!Reader

Words: 1.2k

Warnings: NSFW 16+, tail end of smut, vaginal sex, mention of handjob, reader being slightly injured, knee injury, crying, polyamorous relationship. As always lmk if I missed anything.

Smut just below the cut!

Your legs were bent with Remus’ arms under the bend of your knees as he held you in his strong grip, his pace quick as he fucked up into you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, rather the contrary, and therefore nothing had given away the slight lock your knees made. Noises of pleasure echoed from your mouth and around the room, your balmy skin connected with Remus’, your hands behind his head grasping at the brown locks as you tried to ground yourself.

James and Sirius laid on the bed, working on each other’s cocks, lips connected in a heated lip lock; their focus was often broken away from one another as their line of vision would fall back on you, taking in your sweaty figure, your tired body grasping for more pleasure, even after having been going at it for longer than you normally would, but you couldn’t get enough.

“Moony, it’s my turn,” Sirius whined, rising from his position to be on his knees sticking his arms out to grab you, but not before earning a whine of disappointment from James.

Remus rolled his eyes but slowly pulled out of you to hand you over to the raven-haired boy on the bed, his face sporting a mischievous smile of satisfaction of having gotten his way. You whined at the empty feeling but reached forward to grasp and hug Sirius close to you, as he hooked his arms under the bend of your knees, just as Remus had done, therefore never straightening your legs out to unlock your knees.

With you in his grasp, Sirius moved on his knees to find a place on the bed to place you down upon and have his own way with you.

Your back hit the plush mattress, Sirius, right on top of you, your fingers in his hair, and your legs bent by his sides as he slowly sank into you, his face finding a place in the crook of your neck, sucking marks into the smooth flesh.

You breathed out a moan as he started moving, your walls fluttering around him as he hit the spot inside you that made you see stars and have your entire body shivering and twitching out in pleasure.

The pleasure caused your toes to curl, and your legs went to straighten out – but that was a mistake. As your legs stretched you felt an unfamiliar, but extremely painful, ‘pop’; your eyes were wide as you let out a pained wail, “RED! FUU-ckkk.”

Sirius was quick to pull out, panic clear in his eyes as he searched your distressed face, trying to decipher where it went wrong – rather what he did wrong.

Remus was quick by your side, helping you into a seated position as he looked between Sirius and James, trying to think of what to do to help you as tears of pain leaked down your face as you sobbed loudly, your body shaking, mostly from the fright you received from the sudden pain you had felt.

“Bunny, what happened?” Remus tried, his body holding you up as James scurried around the room to find you and them something suitable to wear.

You were stuttering on sobs as you tried to explain to them that they did nothing wrong, but the words were caught in your throat only small cries leaving your mouth, causing the boys to internally panic, fearing the absolute worst.

Sirius leaned down to be closer to you, gently grabbing your face, wiping the tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“Please, pup, we want to help you,” he was gentle, afraid that he had done this to you and that you would hate him for it.

You kept trying, but the only thing to escape through the sobs were broken words, all blubbering together in a mashup of cries and tears.

The pain had somewhat subsided, the only thing left was the dull ache letting you know that something had happened, but the distress was still present, yet you tried to control your breathing trying to get the tears to stop.

Instead of trying to voice your troubles, you tried gesturing to your knee, pointing to it.

“What’s happened, does it hurt?” James quickly asked as he came to your side on the bed, holding a pile of clothes in his grasp, but those were quickly tossed on the bed as he crawled to your side.

You didn’t get to nod or try explaining anything before the panic had set into all three boys, their voices bouncing back and forth between each other as they tried to think of something.

“Do you know where that muggle kit thing is? The one you brought, Moony,” James asked, referring to the first aid kit Remus had brought with him this school term just in case anything were to happen.

“I think It’s in the bathroom… or I don’t know… maybe it’s in my trunk, I don’t remember,” Remus was wrecking his brain trying to think of where he had placed the strange red box, though with no luck.

“We should take her to the hospital wing, it might be broken!” Sirius’ overdramatic guess pulled a laugh from you, the tears wet on your cheeks, but a smile lighting up your face.

All three boys’ heads snapped to look at you, shock and panic evident on their faces.

Your breathing had calmed enough for you to finally speak, “It’s not brok-en,” your voice was hoarse, and small dry sobs interrupted your speech pattern.

“Oh, thank gods,” Sirius breathed out in relief, his lips quickly pecking yours before he leaned back to give you space to explain.

“I think my knee lo-cked into place and it was rea-lly painful when I stretched it.”

All three of them listened intently, Sirius felt a huge wave of relief wash over him, knowing he didn’t hurt you.

“Can you stand, bunny?” Remus asked, helping you lift your body, while James took over to help you off the bed, not letting you put any weight on your legs, his arms carrying you above the ground.

“You can put me down now, Jamie,” you giggled.

James smiled, his usual goofy smile, before he set you down on the floor, still holding you up with his strong arms, making sure you wouldn’t fall and making sure that if you were still in pain, he could alleviate it as quickly as possible.

You limped slightly as you tried to move your legs, a mix between the ‘pop’ and the fact that you hadn’t stood or walked in a while.

“Hmm, I think we should go to the hospital wing, just to be sure it’s nothing,” Remus’ logical voice cut through as he stood from the bed, quickly getting dressed before helping you get dressed.

Sirius and James followed promptly, throwing on the clothes James had fetched for them.

You were about to start walking towards the door of the dorm room, but Sirius was quick to pick you up, a small yelp of surprise tearing through your throat as you wrapped your limbs around him. He cradled you close to him as he walked down the many steps and corridors to reach the hospital wing, your face buried in his shoulder enjoying the closeness of it.

Tags: @dracosafety, @justadreamyhufflepuff, @teenwolfbitches28, @emma67, @trouble-in-space, @sciapod, @kermiemoon, @autumnandwinteraesthetics, @roonilwazlibswhore, @White_castles, @lexi_shoto, @sprucewoodlover, @blackandlupinsslut, @emmaev, @cedricisnotdead, @Sirius-sugarmomma, @i-love-scott-mccall, @pretty-pop-princess-hs, @pottahishotasf, @mjoubertt-1,

If crossed out it means I couldn’t tag you!

[gallant-basilisk]

Lol okay so I got this funny idea or at least... it seemed funny to me in my head... welp so anyways imagine this: Reader calls yanderes TodoBakuDeku(poly) and Erasermic(Poly) by their full names and starts to glare at them when they don’t do something reader asked them to like maybe not doing the chore the darling asked them to?

Okay, so, before anything else!

I was planning to post another request first, but it takes a bit longer to write than I had thought, so I'm gonna go in order of easiest to hardest asks. ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭

Or at the least, I'mma try to be more active. (Can't promise anything though, since I've been having a real bad headache this past week. 🙂)

I'm also experimenting with different styles, etc, so it may be a bit.. strange, I suppose. The wording, mostly.

But let's not waste any more time on this! Mainly because I don't think you're interested, so let me just get right to writing. (･ω･ )

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(Edit: So, turns out.. I'm not very funny...? (ಠ_ಠ)>⌐■-■)

Yandere!TodoBakuDeku X Reader

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You stood in the doorway with a scowl as you looke– glared at the three males, lazily spread out on the large couch, watching some old videos of you, that they found a couple days prior.

"Midoriya Izuku. Todoroki Shoto. Katsuki Bakugou." Each one turned towards you as they heard their names, a puzzled expression on their faces as they each tried to figure out why you would call them by their full names.

"[Last name] [First name]." Bakugo mimicked you with a smirk on his face. "What, Bakugou?" You scoffed and the male stared at you with a bewildered expression, his eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape.

"Hah!? What the fuck's your problem now?" He shot up from his seat and stalked over to you, trying his best to intimidate you.

Which would've worked before, but you're already used to his explosive personality. So you held your ground against the man, not phased by his form towering over yours. Or what it felt like him towering over you.

"I've asked you all to do something." You hissed at the blond and turned your attention to the other two behind him, standing a bit farther from you.

"Are you serious–" You cut Bakugou off before he could retort. "Yes. I asked you– you three to do one! One simple thing and even that, you can't do!" You spat at them, your finger accusingly poking Bakugou's chest.

You huffed and pushed the blond aside, who stood in shock. Although a small smirk did make its way onto his face, which he immediately covered with his hand.

Cute.

You stomped to the other two, who were quietly waiting for their own scolding.

"Do you want me to repeat the whole thing? Todoroki." You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at Todoroki, who glared at you in return.

"What do you mean, love?"

His tone was cold, but he was clearly distressed, or at least flustered as he glanced at the greenette for help. That was an useless attempt, seeing as Midoriya didn't even try to conceal his hurt expression, pouting and fiddling with his fingers stressfully.

"I took you for a smarter man." You huffed with a sad, almost mocking tone. "Why are you so angry, love?" You snorted and your arms flew open, successfully surprising the otherwise always calm and calculated man. "What do you mean why!?"

An uncomfortable silence enveloped the room, all four of you lost in thought. Neither of you wanted to go too far. They didn't mind to, though.

"You said it was one simple thing, so why can't we just do it now?" Hesitantly, he placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to ease your anger. "There's no need to get angry about this."

"Oh, really?" You slapped his hand away and stomped in front of him, your face just about not touching his as you repeated yourself once again. "Really!" It was unclear from your tone whether you were actually angry or just mocking, though it didn't really matter to the confused males.

You stepped back, Todoroki's form hunching forward in front of you and his head hung down, no word leaving his mouth to answer. His hair fell down, hiding his hurt and confused puppy-like expression, his shiny eyes warning of the tears threatening to escape.

Midoriya, though, could easily guess– even with his head filled with your angry voice and glare– what the bicolor haired male was thinking of.

"Midoriya!" The man jumped in surprise, whipping his head up and giving you his undivided attention. "Y-yes!" You pressed your lips firmly together, forming a thin line.

Truthfully, when it came to lecturing the three of them, Midoriya was the hardest to deal with. Because he's a cunning man, who can easily manipulate and control you, without you even being aware of it. Because he was always very timid and docile when it came to you or the other two man– but especially you– and you hardly ever found a reason to scold the pouty male.

You sighed and rubbed your head, unable to think of something to say. "Please don't be angry, puppy! I'm sorry!" He squeaked and bowed deeply, a pitiful look resting on his face as he peered up timidly. His plump lips pouted and tears welled on the corners of his eyes.

"Ugh– FINE!" You raised your voice and was about to turn around and leave the trio, when a pair of scarred arms wrapped around you and lifted you up into the air, making you yelp in surprise.

"Put me down! I didn't say I'll forgive you, you assho– Eep!" You winced as you felt a painful sting in your sides, and your eyes widened as you saw Todoroki's ice coated hands resting on your waist, the frozen cold digging into your skin.

Midoriya still held you in the air, an amused chuckle leaving his throat as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his torso, the bicolored male joining behind you, his arms fully wrapping around your stomach and his face buried in your back. "Tch!”

Bakugo clicked his tongue and ripped you away from the two, holding you in a protective hold. "Kacchan!" "Katsuki."

They really don't care what you think of them, unless it's something positive.

They called out with irritation, but it quickly dispersed as Bakugou ushered them to follow him– while dragging you with them– and the four of you returned to your big bedroom.

The bed was large enough for the four of you and since neither man wanted to separate from you for a single night, it was the only bed you used. And you'd lie if you said you didn't enjoy sleeping with them, you just didn't like not being given a choice.

It really didn't matter what you did, though.

Whether you were acting as a doting partner or a prisoner trying to escape, they just thought of you as their adorable lover.

You didn't have the choice of not forgiving them.

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Yandere!EraserMic X Reader

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Truly, it was a nightmare dealing with two entirely different personalities.

One was full of energy and refused to accept your scolding, only caring about the mere fact that you gave him your undivided attention. The other just outright switched the positions and refused to be questioned.

So, you weren't expecting much from the duo as you trudged your way to the kitchen, where they sat, discussing something hero-related.

"Aizawa Shota!" You slammed your hands on the table separating the three of you and huffed. The man in question arched a brow and hummed, while the blond let out an exaggerated gasp and smirked. "You're in trouble, aren't you?" He mocked and poked the raven haired man's shoulder.

"...Hizashi Yamada." You whipped your head to the male, whose smile froze onto his face in surprise.

"'Suppose I'm not the only one, huh.." Aizawa grumbled with a scratchy voice and his lips pulled into the slightest smile as he kept glancing between you and Hizashi.

"What's wrong, little songbird? Are we not giving you enough attention–?" He paused abruptly and shot up from his seat, wrapping his arms around you. "Don't worry, I'll give you all of my attention!" He grinned sheepishly.

"That's not what I wanted!" You spat angrily and struggled to push him off of you, only succeeding after Aizawa warned him. He stepped back and pouted, turning towards the other man.

"So, what's upsetting you now?" He spoke with a monotone voice, dark eyes searching your face for answers.

You crossed your arms and puffed your chest out, glaring harshly at the two men. "Favourite listener, are you perhaps... Bored? Lonely?"

"No, obviously."

You shook your head, missing the way they looked at each other and nodded their heads, as if they could communicate telepathically.

Aizawa stood up after a few more minutes of you just silently glaring at each other and leaned forward, his head so close to yours, you could already feel his breath against your skin. You got goosebumps as a hoarse chuckle of sorts left his throat, and gulped quite audibly.

Sure, you got used to living with the two males and dealing with their personalities, but you never really did get used to their other side. The ones they only showed to each other and now, to you. Namely, Aizawa's soft and perverted side, or Hizashi's chillingly cold and dominating nature.

Although, no matter how obvious your lack of determination was, you didn't exactly give in. Like you do any other time. They really loved this trait of yours, since it made it fairly easy for them to get you used to being their lover. That and your 'unexplainable' attraction to the two pro-heroes really made it incredibly easy to form a somewhat 'normal' relationship between them and you. [No, I don't mean the polyamory by 'normal'. •́ ‿ ,•̀]

"You still didn't answer my question." Aizawa stated bluntly and leaned back, giving your personal space back. Not for long.

"I see. You actually forgot the only thing I've asked of you."

You stomped your foot, making the two males jump at your sudden attitude. "Ah, so that's what's this is about.. What was it?" Aizawa sighed while looking at you with a serious expression.

"Are you ser–" "Did we not make your bed? Are you mad because we didn't bring breakfast to you in bed?" "Wha– No! Don't be stu–" "If it really was just one small thing you asked, as you had said earlier– which I'm sorry for forgetting–, why are you acting so childish?"

You inhaled deeply, internally cursing the man and narrowed your eyes. "First.. thank you, I guess..?" Aizawa pet your head– to praise you–, but you quickly brushed his hand away. "But!" "No buts." "Hah?!" "Y/N, we're pro heroes. We have much more important and more urgent things to take care of."

Hizashi chimed in suddenly, standing next to the other male.

You scoffed and a mocking laugh left your lips. "You! Pro heroes?! You have the face to say something like that and you expect me to believe it!?"

"It's the truth, why wouldn't you believe it?" The blond said before Aizawa could open his mouth. "He's right, Y/N..." He cocked his head a bit, the action coming across as– unexpectedly– cute.

After several seconds of silence, you realize that he won't say anything else, so you do.

"Well, where should I start? Oh yeah, you kidnapped me– definitely not something a hero would do. Then, let's see...." You put your hands on your hips and pretended to struggle with remembering. "Oh, oh, I know! That happened YEARS ago! And I'm STILL HERE!"

You barked at the two, visibly shocked men and paused only for a second to take a breath, before resuming your reminder.

"DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO GO OVER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING?!! HUH!?" You panted heavily, the satisfaction from seeing their flustered faces quickly disappearing as dread washes over you.

". . . . ."

Hizashi looked at you with a disapproving look, his arms crossed, while Aizawa rubbed his temple, cursing under his breath irritatedly.

"So... Y/N." He started, not lowering his hand from his face.

You gulped and straightened yourself out instinctively. "Y–yeah?" You tripped on your own tongue, cold sweat running down your skin as you internally prepared yourself to have the whole situation flipped around you. With them being the victims, instead of you.

Guess, you chose the wrong time to act bratty. . .

ಠ∀ಠ

.

.

.

Me: *tries to write*

Motivation and/or inspiration:

"So, anyways! I'm going to the store to buy milk, do you want something?"

.

.

.

Bye, like— I have 5 reqs left and I'm nowhere near done! So, I need to hurry my lazy fat ass! ʕಠ_ಠʔ

[voicefromthecorner]

Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo. I don’t even know what this is, but Shiba getting excited about surprising us with something usually results in something utterly heartbreakingly terrible. I mean, still, bravo to him for managing to build that reputation through experience.

I’m gonna be totally honest about my thoughts, even if they’re bonkers, because this is a liveblog and I ought to be sharing my thought processes for the purposes of authenticity. When Shiba says “old flames”, my immediate fear is that he’s referring to Shiki and Rhyme. It’s not a totally accurate term for them, but he’s Shiba; he’s just throwing in fire puns in any physical space that will fit them like polystyrene in a box. He’s celebrating Neku’s return with some familiar faces is the main gist of it and I’m immediately concerned that he’s possibly going to use Shiki and Rhyme as victims/hostages/etc against our boys.

The reasons I still doubt that are that for one, it would be a terrible way to reintroduce those two, as well as just poor handling of their characters in general. They’ve been mostly absent this whole game to begin with and to bring them back just to make them damsels in distress (something that they were unfortunately rather subject to in the last game, as forgivable as I do find that case) would be so incredibly poor. And while I do have faith in these writers that they wouldn’t go there for cheap shock value, I’m still pretty mad about Kingdom Hearts III, which kind of did go there for its climax. That’s a different series, I know, but my trust is a little shaken is all.

The other main reason I’d doubt, apart from a lack of build up, is the fact that there’s not really a logical reason for the Reapers to have that level of knowledge and control over Neku’s friends and their lives. Rhyme seems to be working against the Reapers from the shadows, so it wouldn’t make sense for her to suddenly show up today for that purpose. It would be a waste of her build up.

So yeah, I’ll stop, I’m basically trying to reassure myself at this point, but hopefully I’m totally wrong about all of that! Just wanted to be clear on the scare that my mind worked through when I heard this message. I mean, it’s Shiba; it’ll be horrible no matter what it is. I just hope it’s not horribly written or anything.

Fortunately, I do still have a lot of faith in this game on that front!

[starks-hero]

His Last Vow

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader

Request: Hey! I just adore your writings, thank you for existing. ❤ I watched Sherlock 4x01 yesterday, and I just can't get over what happened there. I'm truly afraid what will happen next... So I thought if you could write a fic about this episode. I mean something like this: after all what happened in the Aquarium, S. goes home to Y/N, his girlfriend, totally fallen apart, trembling, then he starts like... and destroying everything at home, and Y/N tries to soothe him, crying, fluff etc. THANK YOUUU <3 - anonymous

Summary: You can't stop Sherlock from falling apart, but you can certainly help pick up the pieces.

Word Count: 1,725

Warnings: lots of angst with some compensating fluff, a very brief mention of Sherlock's drug use, Spoilers for 4x01

“Come on, pick up!” You yelled as Sherlock's phone once again went straight to voicemail. You'd been trying to get through to him for over an hour and your worry was slowly melting into frustration.

It had been a few hours since he'd left the flat to ‘think without any distractions’, but you didn't take into account that he'd be gone this long. You knew this case meant more to him than most, especially considering it concerned Mary, which made you all the more worried.

You tried calling him once more, but when you were greeted with the same blunt voicemail, you decided to take matters into your own hands.

Grabbing your coat, you pulled Mary's number up on your phone. You attempted to calm your anxious mind by telling yourself that Sherlock had probably just dragged John off on some side case. And if anyone was going to know where the boys were, it was Mary.

Just as you pressed ‘call’ and opened the door to leave, you were greeted by the familiar sound of footsteps on the stairs. You sighed in relief.

“Where have you been? I was starting to get-,” Your voice died down in your throat when Sherlock entered the flat.

His chest was heaving and his body trembled, his cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes resembled those of a scared child. He looked completely distraught.

“Sherlock?” Your voice was timid as he entered the flat. You studied him carefully before reaching out for his hand. You stopped a few inches short. Sherlock's gloved hand, along with the once white sleeve of his shirt was now stained in a dark crimson red. Your heart fell out of your chest when you realised what it was. Blood.

“Sherlock,” your voice wavered. “What happened?”

You didn't receive a reply. Sherlock's back was to you, but you could still clearly see his struggle to breathe as his shoulders tensed. He pulled off his gloves slowly, hands shaking.

The room was deathly quiet. And then it wasn't. Whatever had happened, whatever Sherlock was feeling, whatever he had pent up inside came out all at once in a blind rage.

One sweep of his arm sent several books and heaps of paper flying from the desk, he brought his fist down on the tables top so hard you swore you heard the wood splinter. Several more books were pulled from the bookcase and not even the sentiment Sherlock held for his skull was enough to stop the youngest Holmes from picking up the human remain and chucking it across the room. His rage continued to the kitchen as the table was completely overturned, any unfortunate glass or cutlery that had been left on its surface shattering into ceramic shards as they met the cold floor. One of the cupboards was almost completely taken off its hinges. And through all of this, Sherlock cried.

You watched on in shock, frozen to the spot as you watched Sherlock destroy anything he came in contact with. No matter how much your mind yelled at you to do something, to move and comfort the man you loved, the horror kept you glued to the spot. Whatever had happened, had destroyed Sherlock entirely. You weren't entirely sure you'd be capable of dealing with it.

You were pulled from your frozen state as Sherlock turned his anger to the flat door. His fist connected with the wood. Once, twice, over and over. The timber was splintering and Sherlock's knuckles were bloodied, but he didn't stop. He just kept going, his strangled shouts tearing at your heart.

“Sherlock,” You approached him slowly but with unfaltering trust. Despite the violence you'd just witnessed unfold in the flat, you weren't afraid of Sherlock, not for a second.

“Hey, hey-,” Your hand brushed his shoulder but it didn't lessen his assault on the door. “Sherlock, stop it.”

Blood was flowing freely from his knuckles down his fingers in bright crimson lines.

“Stop it!”

Grabbing hold of his shoulder and forcibly pulling him away from the abused piece of wood. He struggled against you, attempting to push you away, but despite being taller and stronger than you, you managed to hold your ground against him. (The bloodied hand, sprained wrist and potentially broken fingers weren't playing in his favour.)

“Let me go!” Sherlock's tone was heart-wrenching, his voice hoarse from the shouting he'd done moments before. His vocal cords were spent. “Let me go!” He continued to struggle against you. His voice no longer resembled that of the stoic, detective you'd fallen for, but of a terrified child that had witnessed something they shouldn't have. “Let me-”

Sherlock's harrowing shouts broke into distressed sobs. He stopped fighting and allowed himself to collapse against you. The tears dampened your skin as Sherlock buried himself into the crook of your neck.

Sherlock's legs gave way and he was sent to the ground, you went with him. He clutched onto you for dear life, fingers clutching at your shoulders so tightly you could feel his nails digging into your skin. He was holding you so closely against him it was beginning to constrict your ability to breathe. But you didn't complain. You just kept running your hand through his hair and doing your best to soothe him.

You had never seen him in such a state. In fact, you'd never seen anyone in such a state. Everything you'd been through with Sherlock, the cases, the drugs, all of it and you'd never seen an outburst that could even begin to compare to the magnitude of the one you'd just witnessed.

“Sherlock,” you managed after a while, your own voice trembling slightly. “What happened?”

His voice wavered, sobs wracking his body. You ran your hand through his hair again.

“Hey, look at me,” your hand gently caressed his cheek and wiped away stray tears, your thumb catching them as they continued to fall. “It's okay, whatever happened, it's okay. Just talk to me, Sherlock.” You masterfully hid your worry beneath a gentle tone as you urged him to continue.

Sherlock swallowed down a rising sob and managed to choke out a somewhat coherent answer.

“Mary,” he cried. “She's dead.”

Your heart stopped beating for a moment, your breath catching in your throat. Tears formed in your eyes as the world shattered around you at the revelation. When you finally exhaled, reality hit.

Sherlock broke again and this time, you broke with him.

You cried into Sherlock's shoulder. You cried for Mary, your best friend. You cried for John, who'd lost his wife and for little Rosie, who'd lost her mother. You weren't quite sure just how long you spent weeping, all you could hear was the same two words playing on repeat in your mind. ‘She’s dead’.

You were only pulled back to what was left of your reality by the sound of Sherlock's distraught voice.

“It's-It's my fault!” Sherlock cried and you swore you'd never heard anyone sound so broken. “I killed her.”

“Sherlock,” you tried, expression falling when he flinched away from your touch. “Sherlock, please.” You carefully slipped your hand into his and he grasped onto it like a lifeline. “Listen to me. You didn't kill her. Mary, she-” you couldn't find the words to finish.

You knew Sherlock was lying, you may not have known the whole story yet but you knew Sherlock hadn't killed Mary. But he was blaming himself, and you couldn't allow him carry that kind of weight.

“It's going to be okay, I promise. We'll- we'll figure it out.”

You knew your words were empty. Mary was dead. The life you'd known yesterday was gone. It wasn't going to be okay, not for a long time if ever. But you needed to say something, anything, to help ease the heartache you were both feeling. You had to be strong, for him.

“I promised,” Sherlock's voice had been reduced to a whimper. “I- I promised I'd keep her safe.”

Having no other empty promises to offer, you did the only thing your distressed mind would allow. You pulled Sherlock against you and held him close. He sobbed into your shoulder, completely inconsolable.

“It's okay,” you comforted, holding the pieces together as Sherlock broke in your arms. “It's okay, I'm here.”

You glanced around the wreckage of the flat. Both your belongings were strewn along the floor, mostly in pieces. But none of that mattered, not now. At the moment there was only one broken thing you were focused on fixing.

Wordlessly, you stood. Sherlock's hold on you tightened, almost as if he feared you were leaving him. But a comforting hand grasping his own eased his worries. You pulled him to his feet and together, navigated across the treacherous kitchen floor that was covered in broken glass.

You pulled the first aid kit from the cupboard and Sherlock caught on, obediently seating himself in one of the chairs that had remained standing during his outburst.

Your fingers gently caught Sherlock's wrist and drew his hand close to you. First, you washed away the blood and then pressed the disinfectant wipe to his knuckles. Sherlock didn't react.

You sniffled as you worked, wiping at your eyes. Sherlock made no comment, his own tears were yet to stop. Focusing on Sherlock's injury and the task at hand was currently the only thing stopping you from breaking again.

You dried the wound and bandaged it up, not that it was necessarily needed, but it was something to focus on.

When you finished tending to the injury, you didn't let go of Sherlock's hand. You sat together for a moment, the silence deafening.

You glanced at him through blurred vision. His eyes reflected what you were both feeling. You were both broken. Mary, your best friend, was gone and the family you'd both found had been torn apart.

Sherlock pulled you into him, his strong hold suggesting that he didn't plan on letting go anytime soon. You held him just as tightly.

You sat together amidst the wreckage, mourning both Mary and the life you'd both had just hours earlier. You'd both lost your best friend and you knew the fallout would be unimaginable. But for now, you had each other, and you hoped that would be enough to make it through what was to come.

~~~~~~

Forever tag list: @miraclesoflove​ @bakerstreethound​ @kealohilani-tepise

Sherlock tag list: @fanfictionsilove​ @quentawewe​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @starrykitn​�� @doozywoozy​ @xxinvisiblexx​ @the-worst-critic​ @Jellyfishbeansontoast @Xhz17x

[foilfreak]

Beauty and Her Beast: Chapter 2

Warning: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(Link to ao3 version in comments below)

Chapter 2:

The journey to Mother Miranda’s personal laboratory was much shorter and more enjoyable than the original walk to the meeting site, in Salvatore’s humble opinion.

Mother Miranda was mostly quiet, distant, and preoccupied throughout the duration of the walk, even more so than normal. That being said however, while this sort of behavior would usually spell disaster for whichever one of the 4 lords was forced to be in her presence during these sorts of moods, in this situation, Mother Miranda did not appear tense or agitated or hostile like she usually would be. Just lost in thought. As though she were only quiet because she was too busy thinking about something else to speak. She didn’t even seem to mind his various attempts at starting conversation, which surprised, but endlessly delighted, the mutant man.

‘Mother must be in a very good mood today. She hasn’t hit me or told me to shut up the whole time we’ve been together. Maybe she’s made another breakthrough with the cadou? I’d certainly be very happy if I were in her shoes’ Salvatore excitedly thought to himself as the woman in question stepped forward to unlock and open the large steel door of her personal laboratory, allowing Salvatore to step into the facility before closing and locking it again behind her.

“Moreau, do you recall the set of mutation experiments I began at the beginning of last year?” The raven mother asked, turning around and beginning to quickly make her way down the long, dark corridor.

“Y-you mean… the o-ones with the new c-cadou strain th-that I… that I d-developed… f-for you?” Salvatore stutters, breath labored and body struggling to keep up with the taller woman’s vastly larger steps.

“Correct” Mother Miranda says, turning a corner. “As impressed as I was with the final results of this particular strain, I’m afraid it still isn’t good enough. None of the subjects I implanted with cadou last year turned out to be favorable candidates.”

Salvatore stops in his tracks, a look of horror and agony on his face as news that he’d failed mother once again practically tears him apart from the inside out. “O-oh Mother… I-im so s-s-sorry to h-hear that… b-but don’t w-worry… I’ll-I’ll try h-harder next t-time… I w-won’t fail y-you again Mother, so p-please… please j-just give me a-another chance to get it r-right… i b-beg of y-you…”

Mother Miranda stops and turns toward the mutated lord, staring at him in silence as he drops to his knees and grovels at her feet, begging desperately for his failures to be forgiven.

“Off your knees, Moreau, this behavior is unbecoming of a Lord such as yourself. Besides, I never said that you were the one to blame for the lack of successful results, nor am I necessarily displeased by the fact that these experiments yielded failed vessels.”

Salvatore allows his gaze to rise to his mother’s face, where, true to her words, the parts of Miranda’s face that Salvatore could make out from behind her mask did not appear marred with the familiar expressions of anger and disappointment that the 4 lords were usually met with after another round of failed vessels.

“Y-you’re… you’re not upset with m-me?” The deformed man asks, his voice laced with shock and disbelief.

“No, my child, I’m not upset with you. While these experiments may have ended in failure, they did provide me with useful information that may prove to be pertinent to our mission in the near future. In fact, as I said earlier, the reason why I’ve brought you here is because I want to give you a gift, as a reward for all your incredible work. Did you expect me to be upset with you simply because this round proved unsuccessful as well? Do you really think so poorly of your loving mother, who works tirelessly to ensure her children are happy and rewarded for all their faith and trust in me?” Mother Miranda sniveled pitifully, turning her gaze away in mock dejection as Salvatore, horrified that he’d insulted and hurt her somehow, scrambles to his feet, gently taking both of Miranda’s hands into his own and holding the supple skin to his bloated and deformed face, desperately hoping this would comfort her.

“No no no no, o-of course n-not, Mother… I-I’d never expect s-something like th-that from y-you… and-and I k-know better… b-better than a-anyone… just h-how h-hard you w-work… not j-just on y-your experiments… but f-for all o-of us… too… you l-l-love us… you… love ME… I-I’ll always love y-you, Mother… always” Salvatore blurts, stumbling over his words as he tries desperately to comfort Mother Miranda, an effort he’s seemingly rewarded for, when Miranda takes one of her hands away and brings it back to the top of Salvatore’s head, once again gently brushing her hand against it.

Salvatore’s knees nearly give out from under him as the heavenly sensation washes throughout his body like a raging typhoon, leaving him feeling tired and weak yet hungry and wanting for more, though whatever that “more” was, Salvatore was quick to beat it back down deep within himself, knowing this was neither the time nor the place for him to be entertaining such… primal desires about someone like Mother Miranda, no matter how little he intends to act on them.

“Thank you, Moreau. You always know exactly what to say to make Mother feel better. You’re such a good boy” Mother Miranda says, making sure to put extra emphasis onto the last two words as she reaches forward and pulls Salvatore closer to her.

“G-g-g-gggg… good… boy… me?” Salvatore chokes, tears beginning to fill his eyes as Mother Miranda’s arms come to wrap around him, pushing the deformed man’s face to lean against the soft, feathery material of her bosom.

“Yes, Moreau. You’ve always been very special to me. From the day I met you, you’ve been such a good, well-behaved boy that I never have to worry about” Miranda begins, her face blank and expressionless as she passionlessly strokes Salvatore’s face. “No matter how simple the task, those 3 are always making mistakes of some kind and forcing me to come and clean up their messes after them, especially that snake Heisenberg. But you? No, never you, Moreau, not my special, perfect little boy who always tries his best to make Mother happy. Do you enjoy making Mother happy, Moreau?”

“Y-y-yES! Of-of c-course I do” Salvatore moans, his voice slightly muffled by Miranda’s chest as he violently nods his head in affirmation, tears freely falling from his eyes as his head swims deliriously from the endless wave of kind words and gentle touches.

“Good! I always knew you did. And for that, I'm going to reward you with something very special. Something to… keep you busy... while I’m away for a little while” The raven mother coos again.

Salvatore stops for a moment when the meaning of Miranda’s words finally registers in his brain. “While… w-while you’re… away? You’re l-leaving us?” Salvatore asks, his voice growing increasingly distressed with each word.

“Only for a short time, hopefully,” Mother Miranda answers, “but yes, at the end of this month, I will be leaving the village in order to attend to some very important business I have. I’m not sure how my journey will fare, however I'm optimistic that it will be the key necessary to finally getting my Ev- uh… pardon me; the key to finally achieving our goal of creating a perfect vessel. Doesn’t that sound nice, Moreau?”

“It-it does” the deformed man says quietly, still put off by the mention of Mother leaving, but not wanting to put a damper on his mother’s incredibly rare good mood. “But… where is i-it… th-that you’ll be g-going… an-and for h-how long?”

“Just down the mountain to pay someone a visit, however I have no idea when I'll be back. That will depend on how successful my mission goes, I suppose.”

Silence falls over the two as Salvatore, still upset by the news that Mother Miranda would be leaving, continues to take in the comfort and warmth of his Mother’s arms for just a moment longer, selfishly wishing that Mother held him more often. Eventually however, Mother Miranda does pull back from the superficial embrace, gesturing for Salvatore to follow her once more, which the deformed man begins to do without question.

“Of the 4 of you, you’re the last one to come and pick your gift,” Miranda says, unaware of the visible slump that Salvatore’s shoulders take on upon hearing this. “However, despite there only being one option left, it would appear as though your siblings have decided to spare you their usual games of trickery this time around. If anything, I think you might be the one to have ended up with the best deal after everything is said and done.”

Salvatore looks up at Mother Miranda with an expression of mild confusion, wondering what on earth she could mean by that. His musings are quickly interrupted however, when the two enter a large room filled with various pods.

“Of the 22 test subjects we started with last year, only 13 were genetically compatible with the cadou parasite, and even then, only 4 ended up surviving the full mutation phase. Despite their impressively stable conditions, they still aren’t suitable vessels for my purposes, however I felt as though it would be such a waste to just do away with them. So, with that in mind, I’ve decided that my gift to you all, before I must leave you for a time, is to give one test subject to each of you.”

“G-give? You’re… y-you’re giving us t-test subjects?” Salvatore repeats dumbly, not certain he understood where this was going.

“Correct” Mother Miranda affirms. “This is easily the most successful batch of mutations we’ve seen to date, and given the amount of time and effort I poured into making sure these last 4 survived until now, I’d at least like to see some use gotten out of them before they die or suddenly lose control of their mutations and go rogue.”

“Like… l-like what?” The hooded man asks nervously.

Miranda merely shrugs her shoulders, uncaring. “Anything you like. Housekeeper. Playmate. Labrat. Partner in Crime. Whatever it is you desire of your gift, you may have without question. And in the event they refuse you… well, you’ll at least have a fun little toy to chase after for a little while.”

“I... see...” Salvatore says quietly, growing less and less excited about this whole “gift” thing, now that he knows that his gift is just another person.

Another person to scream and wail at how unbelievably hideous and disgusting of a monster he looks, no doubt.

Without another word, Miranda heads over to the large control table located in the middle of the room, pressing a few buttons before 4 of the many identical pods begin moving toward them. Steam pours out the tops and bottoms of the metal pods as the large capsules slowly finish lowering themselves from their hung pedestals, displaying them directly in front of Miranda and Salvatore.  The man in question stands anxiously in front of the still sealed door, nervously fidgeting with his fingers as he waits for Mother to show him his gift, a myriad of thoughts and fears and worries flying throughout the mutant man’s mind.

“The first 3 have already been chosen by your siblings, but the one on the far right is all yours” Miranda says, pushing another button that causes the singular pod in question to click open, its door slowly beginning to rise upward toward the ceiling.

Salvatore nods in understanding as he tries to avoid watching the door of the pod open, instead hyper focusing on what Miranda is saying as the tension in the room becomes so thick it feels as if it could be cut with a dull knife.

After what felt like an eternity and a half of waiting, the pod door finally finished opening, and in that exact moment, as the disfigured man’s gaze finally fell upon the sight of his gift for the first time, his eyes went wide in shock, his mouth dropped open in disbelief, and his hands fell limply to his side in complete and utter bewilderment at the sight that stood before him.

“That… th-that’s… for me?” Salvatore manages to croak out, his throat suddenly dry as a desert and the air from his lungs having left him the second before.

Raising his hand up toward the creature wired into the pod, the hooded man finds himself unable to look away, feeling almost mesmerized as his mind struggles to figure out whether all this is really happening, or if he’d finally succumbed to the insanity of his condition and dreamt all this up as a sick and twisted way of coping with his soul crushing loneliness. Either one was just as likely at this point.

“I’m sure you’ll still be quite pitiful on the day I have to leave, but at least this way you’ll have something to keep yourself occupied with until I return, yes?” Mother Miranda says smugly, clearly pleased by his reaction. “So, what do you think, Moreau? Do you like the gift I’ve gotten for you?”

It wasn't until after several moments of silence that Salvatore finally responded. After stuttering and slurring unintelligibly over several sentences worth of responses, 2 words, and 2 words alone, finally managed to tumble from the mutant man’s lips, his eyes shining as he finally reached forward enough to slowly and carefully intertwine his fingers with the small and delicate hand of the beautiful young woman that slept peacefully inside the pod.

“She’s perfect!”

[robininthelabyrinth]

So i like the character is a magic/mythical creature stories, but when it comes to wwx, it always seems to be his mom he gets it from? I'd like to see one where it's wwx's dad who's the dragon/pheonix/etc.

Donghua!MDZS verse

“I really want to go down the mountain,” she said. “I really, really want to go down the mountain. I want to –”

“Then go down the mountain already,” the old bird croaked, sticking his head out, and she jumped, surprised: she hadn’t seen him there, sleeping in the firepit under the oven. He was usually doing that, though in the main building rather than here; he was old, he said, and needed the sleep. “You’ve said it a dozen times over now. Who are you trying to convince, the air spirits?”

“The air spirits don’t care,” she said automatically, then sighed, sitting down next to him. “I want to tell Teacher. I’m just – practicing.”

“You’re normally so bold,” he said. “Since when do you care about consequences? You forget pain the second after it heals.”

“Hey, this is a big decision,” she said. “Going into the human world’s a one-way trip. I won’t know anyone there.”

“That’s not necessarily true,” he said, and laid his head on her lap. His beak is the size of her thigh, heavy and ponderous, and her hand, when she puts it on his head, sinks so deep into his feathers that she can scarcely see it. “You might meet ‘me�� down there.”

“You?”

“I’ve gone down the mountain myself a few times over the centuries,” he said. “Depending on what era you get popped out into, you might meet ‘me’. A version thereof, anyway; younger and more feisty than these old bones.”

“I’d like that,” she said, stroking his feathers the way she had since childhood. The old bird had been her constant companion, always there for her. “I’d like that a lot.”

-

His name was Wei Changze.

She recognized him at once, of course, no matter his human form (the nose that curved like a beak was particularly unsurprising), but the name somehow still came as a shock.

They didn’t have names on the mountain – they knew who and what they were, and so did everyone else. This caused the humans down the mountain some great amount of distress, which was why she was currently being addressed as Cangse Sanren as if that were her name; she acceded to it with about as much grace as she normally had, meaning not much.

But he had a name.

He was a servant, too. She didn’t mind that so much; for creatures like him, going down the mountain wasn’t a one-way trip the way it was for rescued humans like her – it was a means of gaining experience, trying out different facets of human life, and it didn’t really make a difference to her that in this life he was a servant, not a master. He was still her favorite companion.

She treated him the way she always did, tugging on his sleeves and running her fingers through his hair and coaxing him to put his head in her lap, and she didn’t think anything of it – didn’t think he would see it as anything more than he usually did – until one day he had enough of her nonsense and kissed her.

“Oh,” she said, and belatedly realized that her impossible childhood crush on a phoenix large enough to eat a horse was no longer quite as impossible. “Oh. Don’t you think I’m too young for you?”

“I’m not as old as I’ll one day be,” he said, laughing at her. Younger and feistier indeed! “And anyway, how many years do you think we really have left?”

“I don’t have many,” she pointed out. Everyone knew that the humans who walked down the mountain faced an early and often miserable doom; it was something that they had to accept before they went, and she’d always thought that the fact that they went anyway said something profound. About what, she wasn’t sure, but definitely profound. “You have as many as you like.”

He took her hand in his. “Be mine,” he said, and there are flames in his human eyes. “Be mine, and I will take on a share of your doom in this life; I will share your joy and your misery in equal kind.”

Well.

When he put it like that…

-

“Our son will be proud and strong,” her husband said. He looked immensely pleased. “He will have your humor, your boldness; he will have my creativity, my inability to be stopped. I will give him a gift of one rebirth.”

She wiped the sweat from her brow. “If he’s a phoenix like you, he won’t thank you; if he’s a human, he’ll mostly be confused by it,” she said. It was a strange fate to bestow - generally speaking one only needed a rebirth if things went wrong - but then again he was her son, he was probably doomed anyway. A chance at rebirth couldn’t hurt. “Can I see him?”

She looked down, a little long-sufferingly, at the over-large egg placed into her arms. Holding it in the light, she can just barley see the form of a curled-up human infant inside, looking quite smug about his comfortable home.

“He’ll need a few extra months in the egg,” her husband said. “To help calm the flames that would otherwise scorch his human skin.”

“Flames, hmm?” she asked, lips twitching a little as she looked down at the little miracle they’d created, just the two of them. She wouldn’t have gotten him if she’d stayed up on the mountain, and she thought that her little A-Ying would be a prize worth dooming them both.

“Green flames at his command,” her husband said. He was proud as a peacock, and she made no move to stop him. “He will be the king of birds, and ravens will come at his command.”

“Just ravens?” she teased. “If he ever spends time in Yunmeng, I suspect he’ll use the ability to lure out pheasants to hunt for his dinner.”

“A perfectly worthwhile use,” her husband coughed, clearly having done more than a little of that himself. “What are you saying?”

“Nothing,” she said, smirking. “Nothing at all…should we tell Jiang Fengmian about it?”

“About what?”

“Well, I mean – if we die, he’ll be the one to pick up A-Ying, won’t he?”

“More than likely. He liked you a great deal, my dear.”

“Not as much as he liked you. Anyway, if he’s going to have some part in raising our son, shouldn’t he know what our son is?”

“No,” he said, suddenly solemn. “He shouldn’t know. None of them should.”

“Very well,” she said. Her husband knew the human world better than she. “We’ll teach him what we can ourselves, and hope he remembers.”

-

He only remembered a little.

[rainbowjamblog]

Something like a review of LA Kenshin: The Final

Spoilers ahead!

So, I watched the new LA Kenshin movie yesterday. And my immediate reaction was to take ot tumbr to see what others thought, which helped; and now I want to try and expand a bit on what others have already pointed out.

So. The Kyoto arc felt very well done. The changes mostly made sense, the emotional arc was there, it got me in the feels, it was cool, the action was great etc. Many others have elaborated on that. The only thing that really bothered me was how Kaoru got thrown overboard and never got a chance to fight. I mean, this arc is the *one* where she isn’t a damsel in distress, so they immediately change that? Ugh.

But anyway, I had all the trust and high expectations for this movie. As we all had, it seems.

So, what happened?

First: There are many things the movie is doing well. The casting and acting was still really good; I like how they tone down the more ‘colorful’ aspects of the manga to give them a more realistic feel, while keeping core elements of the caracter design. (Though, with some of the minor adversaries, I felt that didn’t work so well this time - a bit too manga-esque for the more realistic feel of the movies.) All the technical aspects worked well, as far as I could tell. What fell flat for me was the storyline. I understand that they had to make changes to make the whole arc fit into one or two movies, and I also understand that they might need to make changes because some stuff that works in a manga might now work as well in a movie. And that’s ok. The Kyoto arc worked so well because while they made lots of changes, the emotional core of the story was clear and intact. It was about Kenshin finding his reason to fight, his will to live and to adhere to his principles. At the end, it’s about finding home.

So, what about Jinchuu? To me, the core is about Kenshin finding a way to continue even when he fails. Enishi’s Jinchuu really tears everything down Kenshin has built, all the small parts of a good, peacful life he has managed to find, despite all he had done. But, most of all, Enishi shows him that he is unable to protect what he loves. And, since protecting is pretty much his reason to live - that means his life is suddenly meaningless. All the atonement wasn’t enough.

The Kyoto fight was about Kenshin’s past. It was about his sins and whether he was worthy to even have a present. And the ending showed that yes, he has a present, and he was truly able to change.

The Jinchuu arc, on the other hand, is somehow more about Kenshin’s future. He has found a measure of peace (a brittle one, obviously, since he kept his darkes demons hidden until the Dojo scene), and he has some hope that his philosophy of protecting is holding up. To atone for his sins, he has turned to help others; and in this he has found a possible way.

Enishi destroys that; completely. Kenshin has to learn in the most gut-wenching way possible that he cannot protect those he loves. This destroys him. And this, for me, is the emotional core of the arc: that Kenshins reason of being is shattered around him, and he nearly breaks because of it - but doesn’t. He finds the will to live, the will to continue, despite the most terrible failure he can imagine.

And this is the part that was missing from the movie. Yes, I understand that they couldn’t let Kaoru ‘die’ a second time (why, oh why did they do that before?!); but still, even with her kidnapped, or deeply hurt in a fight, they could have shown Kenshin shocked to the core that he wasn’t able to protect her. And that he must find a way to go on despite knowing that he can’t always protect thos closest to him.

Also. Kaoru gets short shrift by the script. Not only is she hardly allowed to fight (both in the past movies and in this one), but she is the emotional core of the whole thing. We get to see glimpses of that in her interactions with Megumi and Enishi; both beautifully done. But we hardly see that she is the person who matters most to Kenshin these days, that she lives and practices all those ideals he is trying so hard to hold on to; that without her, he loses his guiding light. Instead, he just ups and goes to fight all the bad dudes, and everone joins him in a kind of ‘yay, we’re all here for you’ moment - which would have been great, if the buildup had been there.

A thing I really liked, though, was the way they showed Kenshin’s backstory with Tomoe. It felt suitably quiet; two hurt people, no, deeply traumatised people, who come to understand each other, while we as the audience are also slowly understanding their connection.

So. Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts! I’d love to hear other’s takes on the whole thing!

[plasticnightmaredoll]

This is an idea/scenario I’ve had for a good while now pertaining to Arkham Knight Riddler. I don’t know if it’s any good -- it may be too “fluffy” to be in character -- but I wanted to write it down and get it out there, see what people think. Ironically, the idea came from a similar one involving Telltale Riddler, and I may post that one someday, too, but this AK Riddler one is...very different. Different in regards to a lot of headcanons, imagines, drabbles, etc. about him.

So, the scenario is like this: Someone wants to fuck with this poor guy -- not Batman, not one of the Bat family, not even one of the Gotham Rogues. It could be some random new villain, someone who is maybe more sadistic than any of the Rogues (save for Joker). I thought about this antagonist kidnapping AK Eddie’s s/o and holding them hostage …

But with a twist.

Catwoman has nothing to do with this because she’s not evil, but I thought about the explosive collar Riddler put on her in Arkham Knight, and what if this antagonist -- to really mess with Eddie -- decides to put such a collar on his s/o? And Riddler has to show up and complete some tasks (dangerous puzzles and riddle-based traps most likely), or else, his s/o loses their head.

Of course, Eddie shows up because he’s panicking. This was never supposed to happen! Nothing was supposed to happen to his s/o. This is beyond anything Batman had ever done. This is so sinister, so vile, so abhorrent, Eddie can’t even begin to comprehend it. At first, he bargains, offering money, tech, robots, his hacking skills -- even offers himself up to wear the collar instead because he can’t take the sight of his beloved wearing something that could blow their head right off, right in front of him, and leave him emotionally and mentally broken for life.

But the antagonist doesn’t want to bargain, even when Eddie begs -- like, really begs to the point of tears, asking for mercy and pleading with the antagonist to let his s/o go free. They have nothing to do with any of Eddie’s work. They’re innocent, and they’re too important to him! He can’t let this happen!

The begging amuses the antagonist but once again, it’s not enough. Eddie has to do the challenges, and if he completes them all correctly, the collar comes off. If he messes up, then his s/o dies. Eddie reassures his s/o that everything will be just fine, he’s got this under control, they’ll be out of trouble in no time so don’t be afraid.

It’s difficult to not be afraid when you have a bomb around your neck and a sadistic psychopath with the trigger. As bad as Eddie can be, he’s not THIS malevolent. He has some humanity left in him. But this person, they’re just out there to make him suffer because it’s “entertaining” to watch him squirm. 

As you know, by this point in his life, Eddie is very mentally unstable and could have a mental breakdown if pushed even just a little too far. His s/o is the only thing keeping him grounded, the only reason he has to keep his sanity (or what’s left of it), and this is the only person who has ever cared for him despite the fact he knows he’s not worth it. If he loses his beloved, then what would he have left? There would be no recovery from such a thing.

So, Eddie completes the challenges, although he is internally freaking out the entire time, partly because he doubts himself and partly because he has no idea if the antagonist will just press the trigger and kill Eddie’s s/o without warning. By the time Eddie is done, he’s a nervous wreck and on the verge of a breakdown, but he hopes that, by enduring all this, by letting this person watch him squirm, sweat, beg, cry, and panic, that maybe it’s enough to end this madness without his s/o dying.

But the antagonist doesn’t care that Eddie completed all the tasks. In the end, it’s about making Eddie suffer horribly because watching a nearly broken man finally break -- shatter -- is the point of all this. So, the collar has a 30 second timer set, and as it counts down, Eddie obviously freaks out, hyperventilating as he tries to plead once again for his s/o’s life, offering himself up again in their place, and yet, it’s not enough (kind of reminding him how he was never enough for his father, even if he agonized over pleasing him). The antagonist just laughs at Eddie’s mental breakdown and tells him he better use the remaining time to say goodbye. And no funny business. If Eddie or his s/o attempt to remove or disarm the collar, then it will detonate. 

Eddie’s s/o, despite being terrified does their best to put on a brave face and they tell him it’s ok, it’s not his fault, just don’t look, look away, it will all be over soon, he has to keep going for them...Eddie doesn’t know what to do, and seeing as he now has 10 seconds left, he does the only thing he feels he can and should do, and he grabs his s/o despite their protests and holds them tight, crying and saying over and over how sorry he is, he’s so sorry. 

And the timer reaches zero on the collar.

There’s a soft click.

Then nothing.

No explosion. 

The antagonist bursts out laughing, confessing that the “bomb” is a dud, was never going to explode, and since both Eddie and his s/o were too distressed to think all this through, they never even considered this as a possibility. The collar has been unlocked and Eddie’s s/o just kind of sinks to their knees in complete shock, and he can’t believe what he’s seeing. At first, he’s confused, wondering if this is all some sort of twisted dream, then he’s relieved because his s/o is safe, then he’s angry because what the hell was this?! He vows to get revenge on the antagonist and throws the collar away as he all but screams in rage.

Now alone, Eddie remembers his s/o is still on the floor, pale as a sheet and unresponsive. Kneeling down, he asks if they’re ok, tells them they’re ok, that this was all some sort of sick joke. When his s/o snaps out of their daze, they get mad and push him away, yelling at him for being so foolish

“You were just going to let yourself die with me?!” they demand.

“Yes!” Eddie responds, too overwhelmed to even know how to respond to this. 

“Why? Why would you do that?”

“Because!”

“WHY?”

“Because I can’t go back to my old life! Not having known you! You think that I would just sink back into my old routine without a hitch? You think I would forget you? You think I’d just move on and live life normally? How could I do that? How? If I lost you, I’d have nothing, do you understand? Nothing. My life would be empty, more so than it’s ever been, and nothing could fill that void, not the way you do. No one has ever loved me, not even those who were supposed to! But you, you love me! I didn’t ask for it, and I don’t even deserve it, but you love me anyway. You make me feel valid, you make me feel like...like I exist, like I actually matter.”

His s/o is crying, and he’s crying, and they’re both going to be emotionally traumatized for a while. Sure, Eddie will get revenge but he’s also going to be having night terrors -- nightmares would be much better than what he experiences at night -- about his s/o dying in gruesome ways while is helpless to do anything. Sometimes, he won’t even be able to sleep because he doesn’t want those ghastly images in his head, and he’ll stay up holding his s/o as they (try) to sleep (they have nightmares of their own after this experience). 

He has to come to terms with his first real encounter with the threat of loss, a real loss. He never cared about anyone before because no one ever cared for him. He was used to being ignored, bullied and belittled, and he always had trouble trusting others because of how he was raised. He never had friends, never thought he would need friends because, well, he never had any. Forming emotional attachments was beyond him, as he never had such a relationship with his parents, and that is the first time children are supposed to experience attachment. If your parents don’t love you, you grow up feeling unloved, alone, and don’t understand what it’s like to be close to people, so you just push everyone away and look out for yourself. It makes you selfish just as much as it makes you feel lonely.

But now, Eddie has his s/o, someone who just kind of barged into his life and stole his heart despite his best efforts to not feel anything sentimental because being vulnerable meant he could get hurt, and he didn’t like the idea of forming an attachment only to have it ripped away from him due to the other person’s betrayal. In his eyes, love equals abuse, since that’s the only kind of “love” this Eddie seems to have ever experienced. 

It’s going to take a lot of time -- and patience -- for Eddie to deal with this, and he’s going to be watching his s/o like a hawk. They won’t be allowed to go anywhere alone, and definitely not at night. He’ll be very clingy, protective, maybe a little possessive but mostly protective. When he does eventually find a way to calm down, it will actually make him a stronger person emotionally, I think, because he will understand himself better, and he’ll understand the relationship he has with his s/o better. This experience has taught him -- in the most insane and unwelcomed way -- why his s/o is so vital to him, and while attachment like that is almost frightening because of the risk of loss, he doesn’t want to go back to his old life and be alone, being seen as some sort of joke by everyone in Gotham. He doesn’t want to go back to being isolated, left with only his thoughts to comfort him despite his dwindling sanity and self-esteem. He needs to have a reason to press on, and trying to be better than everyone just won’t do it anymore. He needs to be loved, loves to be loved, but is also thrilled to be able to give it in return, whatever the risks may be.

And you know the antagonist is going to be utterly destroyed by Riddlerbots. Or something. Something awful will happen to that person. We know that much.

-------------

Ugh, so let me know what you guys think! This is way out there in left field in terms of portrayal of Arkham Knight Eddie (or just Arkhamverse Eddie in general) but this idea has been stuck in my mind for so long now. Feedback is definitely encouraged and appreciated here because this is such an epic and crazy h/c. Constructive criticism is welcome. Just don’t be mean, please.

[vivithefolle]

Not sure if you already talked about this. (I’m pretty sure you have) but someone seemed to notice that when the trio get into fights, Hermione’s always in the right. Even when she’s supposed to be wrong she always seems to be half right. That kind of bothers me. Especially since it’s evident in the whole Scabbers situation.

I have indeed, on Quora, so let’s move yet another answer of mine to Tumblr!

Hermione is seldom wrong in the Harry Potter books. Sometimes she makes mistakes but those mistakes are either completely swept under the rug or downright ignored.

It’s partly due to lazy writing and partly due to Rowling’s own growing bias in favour of her Author Avatar that was fuelled by Steve Kloves, the primary advocate of the Hermione Granger Is The Perfect Girl Ever line of thinking (an utterly ridiculous line of thinking mind you).

Lizo: Steve, Hermione is a character that you have said is one of your favorites. Has that made her easier to write?

Steve: Yeah, I mean, I like writing all three, but I've always loved writing Hermione. Because, I just, one, she's a tremendous character for a lot of reasons for a writer, which also is she can carry exposition in a wonderful way because you just assume she read it in a book. If I need to tell the audience something...

JKR: Absolutely right, I find that all the time in the book, if you need to tell your readers something just put it in her. There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue. One is Hermione, the other is Dumbledore. In both cases you accept, it's plausible that they have, well Dumbledore knows pretty much everything anyway, but that Hermione has read it somewhere. So, she's handy.

Now this, right here, is the exact core of the problem.

Rowling herself admits it: if she wants the readers to have information, she puts Hermione in the scene. Hermione is our primary means of exposition because, like *grits teeth* Sssssteve puts it, it’s easy to assume that she’s read about it somewhere and it makes sense.

That’s all well and good but at first, if you notice, Ron also gave us exposition about the wizarding world, mostly about its culture. He was able to recall the exact year of the Wizarding Confederation that outlawed dragon breeding in Philosopher’s Stone! He explained what were respectively a “Mudblood”, a “Squib”, and Parseltongue, Hermione doing a little exposition about the history of that last one! He was also able to identify Sirius, after being dragged into the Whomping Willow, as an Animagi!

But then Goblet of Fire happens and you can notice the first change that will exponentially grow through the books: instead of Ron, pureblood Ron, born-before-the-end-of-the-war Ron, lived-through-the-aftermath-of-the-war Ron, identifying the Dark Mark, it’s instead Hermione, muggleborn Hermione, lived-as-a-Muggle-for-most-of-her-life Hermione, has-no-idea-about-the-emotional-impact-of-the-Mark Hermione who looks terrified as the Dark Mark shoots into the sky!

And it only will get worse, by the end of the series, Hermione pretty much knows about everything the plot needs her to know, instead of having to work with things she knows but can’t always apply to the situation:

Suddenly has a deep knowledge of Magical Law (in the will of Dumbledore’s chapter, while we had Rufus Scrimgeour who could have provided it to us, or to a lesser extent, Ron could have explained how a wizarding will basically worked)

Is suddenly an expert at finding edible plants and mushrooms. Apparently books are always the goddamn answer in JKR’s world, you can literally learn anything from them

She can decipher all the Tales of Beedle the Bard (may I remind you that they were written in Runes, okay Hermione may have a few years of Ancient Runes education BUT I once tried to translate a 3k+ story I had written for fun, from French to English, which means I knew what the subtleties and intentions were, I knew which turns of phrase I had to preserve so it would make sense in the end, and it still took me two gruelling weeks to get a satisfying result!)

Has suddenly grown a sense of quick-thinking (escaping Xenophilius’ house, using the jinx to make Harry’s face weird-looking) despite it being the only remaining flaw she had at the time (remember when she turned her back on her enemy while he was still conscious just to compliment Harry, and almost died as a result, even though she had been training in the DA to learn how to fight Death Eaters?) Quick-thinking under pressure can be learned, but it takes time and a lot of work to force your brain to override its instinct - and it’s fine because we’re all human and different. But no suddenly Hermione is the Greatest Strategist Evah™ and those silly boys (who actually were the original quick-thinking ones, and one of them was established as the strategist early on) better be grateful for this literal goddess because she protects them from all harm with her superhuman brain.

Somehow knows about Quidditch stuff - she knows about a Snitch’s “memory-touch”. Why should she give all the answers? Why can’t Ron give us this particular tidbit of information?

And then when we come to something Ron actually knows, the damn narration itself goes “woah a book that Ron has read but Hermione hasn’t??? shocking!! incredible!! Ron is not dumb, somebody call the news channel”. But… is that really so surprising? We’ve never seen Hermione read wizarding fiction or even Muggle fiction. We’ve never seen Hermione with anything other than schoolbooks in her hands. Of course Ron has read books she hasn’t read since she doesn’t seem to read fiction at all!

Sorry, bit of a tangent over here.

There are only two characters that you can put it convincingly into their dialogue.

So, that’s one part of the problem: the fact that Rowling, after making Ron our insight into magical culture and Hermione our provider of knowledge, ended up saying “eh whatever I guess Hermione can tell us everything we gotta know because it’s more convenient for me”. Which is a decision that was not based on Hermione’s character, but simply lazy writing. Long story short, it probably went: “Could Ron explain this bit of trivia? Meh, better make Hermione say it cause she’ll have read it in a book. It’s convenient and I won’t need to bother myself with exploring Ron’s characterisation.”

(And thus completely forgetting that Ron could maybe ask his big brothers via owl and provide us with a good heap of extra advanced knowledge - Bill is supposed to have aced his NEWTs after all.)

The other part of the problem is quite simply that Hermione is more often than not, either painted as a victim by the narrative (which makes more people take her side, classic manipulation tactic), or made to be right anytime it’s about a plot point.

Hermione’s mistakes are never explicitly stated, corrected, or even pointed out as being unethical.

Hermione only gets one mistake expressedly pointed out as being a mistake: her misadventure in Polyjuice Potion. The rest of them? Even her crush on Lockhart can’t be counted as a mistake - people get crushes all the time, based solely on physical appearance, it’s not something awful or terrible (Except when it’s Ron who crushes on someone. Ron crushing on someone is absolutely forbidden, and he must be punished with much ridicule and humiliation if he thinks he can get away with not worshipping Hermione like the goddess she is. The nerve of him, really.).

Throughout the books Hermione eventually morphs into Rowling’s Powerful Angel of Vengeance, that punishes the people who dared to do something she disliked - Rita is silenced but at a very ethically dubious price; Marietta gets scarred for life because she was more loyal to her mother than to a bunch of people her friend insisted she hang out with; Umbridge is led to a very, very alarming fate that is never made clear but some people have ideas and they’re not all very kid-friendly; Ron first is “helped” without knowing it because Hermione can’t be bothered to have faith in his capabilities, then when he fails to dutifully reward her for “helping” him, she causes him bodily harm before actively bullying him for not mind-reading her interest in him; causes even more bodily harm to Ron because that’s how feminism works; etc.

Hermione’s mistakes are always justified through the plot itself (which is lazy writing).

Turning into a cat? Only affects her.

The Firebolt? Scabbers? Well, in the end, it was really sent by Sirius Black and Crookshanks really wasn’t the culprit. Therefore all the feelings that were hurt and all the trust lost are irrelevant because Hermione was right all along.

Trying to free the house-elves? Well, it’s the intent that counts, right? And we’re never told enough about house-elf lore to know whether they’re poor brainwashed victims or powerful Penate-like symbiotes who need to serve a wizard to survive?

Kidnapping Rita Skeeter, trapping her and blackmailing her? Rita may be one foul little beetle, but that’s going a bit far, isn’t it? Harry approves? Oh, well, I guess it’s okay then…? A main character can’t have a dubious morality, right?

Manipulating Harry into forming Dumbledore’s Army and forcing him to relive a traumatic event with the same woman she’s kidnapped and blackmail and that she knows he hates? In the end, it all works out for the best and Harry’s hurt feelings don’t matter since it’s all about the greater good.

Using the centaurs to get rid of Umbridge (which poses the highly distressing question of what did the centaurs do to her?), realizing that the centaurs aren’t nice little horsies that are going to gently obey her every orders like good Disney princess’ companions, my goodness could this be an opportunity for character growth - nevermind, here comes Grawp the Giant Ex Machina, saving her arse and protecting Hermione from all that scary possibility of introspection. Thanks, Grawp Ex Machina.

Trying to dissuade a highly stressed-out and irrational Harry from rescuing Sirius by telling him exactly what he needed not to hear, a.k.a. “you have a saving people-thing” which causes Harry to completely go bonkers and go save his godfather without thinking twice? Well she was right after all, it was a trap! Nevermind how mind-boggingly insenstive and inadept at dealing with someone else’s feelings she was being, she was right! That means it wasn’t Hermione’s mistake!… probably. (Geez, I’m sensing a pattern here…)

Endangering Cormac’s life (Confunding him WHILE HE’S ON HIS BROOM) to promote Ron’s success? Oh but that’s so romantic! (Yeaaaah, how romantic to display exactly how much faith you lack in your crush. Top it off with a broken neck and that’s a picture perfect first date!)

Assaulting Ron with magic and causing him even more scars than he already had? But he was being cold with her first, right? And he totally should have known she was asking him out! It’s not like her invitation was even worse than his attempt to ask her out two years earlier! Plus she’s just a teenage girl expressing her emotions, anyone who tries to find fault in this is a disgusting abusive misogynist pig! Ha!

Getting all jealous that Harry is better than her at Potions, then pretending she’s not jealous by claiming that TEH BOOK IS EVIL, HARRY, and giving him the cold shoulder too? But no, she’s right, look, Harry used Sectumsempra and he almost killed Draco, nevermind that he’s very horrified about it! Hermione was right, like she always is!

Hermione Obliviating her parents, which pulls her from the “ethically dubious” zone into the “wow okay I’m pretty sure that this counts as a violation of basic human rights” zone, makes her one of those quirky wizardfolk who have the privilege to control those simple-minded Muggles because it’s for the greater good? But nooo she’s crying about it so it’s obviously very sad and angsty and it shows her devotion to the cause!

Splinching Ron while fleeing from the Ministry? Eeeh, but he’s fine, they’ve got Dittany, he’s good as new!… blood loss? Anaemia? What’s that?

Hermione was wrong about the Deathly Hallows not existing? Um, um, that doesn’t matter, LOOK DOBBY IS DEAD AND HARRY IS BACK TO LOOKING FOR THE HORCRUXES!! Therefore Hermione was right, the Hallows weren’t important for their quest, therefore the Hallows might as well not exist, HERMIONE WAS RIGHT NO REALLY I’VE GOT RECEIPTS -

The books never forget to remind Harry and Ron of their own shortcomings and moments of weakness.

Harry’s wrath and recklessness cost Sirius his life. This is the lesson he has to learn from his entitled behaviour in OotP: actions have consequences, and the greater your responsibility, the greater the cost will be.

Ron’s envy and insecurity lead him astray; they’re used to humiliate, ridicule and torture him throughout the books. They’re supposed to teach him that he’s worth something - but how is he supposed to believe that, when nobody ever tells him he’s worth anything? When nobody ever apologizes to him? When his feelings are taken for granted over and over? When his two friends seem to discard him whenever he does one thing wrong?

Hermione is never punished. Hermione is never said to be wrong, never shown to be wrong, never called out on her behaviour. From Prisoner of Azkaban to mid-Deathly Hallows, she stays exactly the same character. She doesn’t grow up. She doesn’t learn. She doesn’t change. She has virtually no character arc.

The only time, THE ONLY TIME IN SEVEN BOOKS, the only time we have something remotely resembling a call-out of Hermione’s horrible behaviour is with this sole quote in HBP:

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

Note how it’s about “girls” and not Hermione in particular, which implies that any girl would do what Hermione does to Ron. Thanks for the generalization, JKR, but I like to believe I’m actually a decent sort of person that doesn’t resort to petty cruelty and exploits my friends’ insecurities whenever I’m angry with them.

Hermione NEVER has to apologize. Hermione NEVER has to learn from her mistakes because she’s always presented as a victim when she really isn’t. Hermione NEVER develops into something more - she’s emotionally stuck at fourteen years old. Even less than that when you consider that her reaction to Ron’s return in Deathly Hallows is to trash him with her fists - and she was going to get her wand!! The utter psychopathic b- wanted TO THROW BIRDS AT HIM AGAIN!!! - and this reaction is an appropriate one for a four-years old girl, but certainly not for a supposedly “mature” seventeen-years old.

(Yes, because what separates a child from an adult is the ability to reign in your emotions and not succumb to your impulses. Exactly what Ron did when he left the tent (notice that he had drawn his wand, then he left before he could start hexing Harry), he left to calm himself down. Exactly what Hermione fails to do when Ron returns (she has the impulse to strike him and immediately succumbs to it, which proves to us that The Brightest Witch Of Her Age has all the maturity of a very small child).)

All of that, on top of the awful portrayal in the movies which removes all of Ron’s characteristics to stuff them into Hermione and turns her into some impossible epitome of perfection, eventually contributed to the portrayal of Hermione as the one who is always right and knows everything.

Add to it JKR’s own ridiculous bias (“Ron was quite emotionally immature compared to the other two”, yeah right I don’t see him trying to force freedom onto unwilling creatures or making Harry fly into an irrational rage with mere words but you do you, Jo) and the sexist misconception that “girls are innately more mature than boys”, and you get yourself this apparent behemoth of righteousness that was literally the sole reason why those two silly boys survived everything, and don’t you dare criticize this angel of perfection OR ELSE.

[this-is-quite-homoerotic]

Yo! What did you think of the Expectant audio? I think it's the only TW audio that I listened to and thought mmm, that could've been so much more :( I get that it needed to have action and adventure but it kinda felt really obvious that the writer wasn't comfortable with Barrowman's dream. I think I expected better after how good so many audios like Broken have been :(

I’ll forgo spoilers in the first part for those who haven’t listened to the audio but might be interested in seeing a review, but there’ll be spoilers under the cut!

Anon, I agree with you! It definitely could have been so much better. I actually like the concept of the audio a lot, but the execution was... not to my taste, let’s say. To be fair, it really is a matter of taste, I personally didn’t like the humour, it did not mesh well with my sensibilities, though I also think it felt... outdated? I’m talking specifically about the sense of humour here.

The kind of jokes they made felt like something I might have found funny in the early 2000s when I didn’t know any better, before I examined some of the tropes/messages/expectations I’d absorbed from society and media (more about this under the cut because spoilers). The thing that bothered me the most about it was that it felt to me like the humour in it had not caught up to 2020 sensibilities, and Expectant is, first and foremost, a comedy piece. So if the humour’s failing then that’s a big problem.

Your mileage may vary, though, humour is a matter of taste after all. Interestingly, I actually think John Barrowman enjoyed the script and had fun getting to act it out? This is just the impression I got (certainly, he might have played it a bit differently if he didn’t), and I think this might be a generational thing as well as a matter of taste and sense of humour.

Spoilers below

As I said, I actually love the general concept of the audio: Jack, grieving and at a loss for what to do in the face of losing half his team, offers to carry an old alien friend’s child for them when political scheming means the unborn child might be in danger, in the hopes of ensuring the child’s safety, political stability for several planets, and (it is implied) as a symbol of hope that there’s good things in the universe too, not just loss and devastation.

There are obvious obstacles to Jack carrying a pregnancy while still being an active Torchwood agent, which is an interesting and fun thing that’s explored from the first scene: Jack has got used to being immortal and doing his job might well get him killed. Normally this isn’t a problem but if he dies while pregnant the baby can die too. But Torchwood is understaffed and still adapting to being a three-person team, so Jack has agreed to carrying the baby only if he can keep on working.

An interesting premise, vaguely tied in with a big moment from the show and the emotional fallout which wasn’t explored much in the show itself (Tosh and Owen’s deaths and how they affected Jack), some stakes from the get-go, plus a new original alien character (Jonty). So far, so good.

There are two main things that got in the way of me enjoying the audio: 1) how Jack was depicted as being hysterical during the pregnancy (and this being played for laughs), and 2) the indirect fatshaming (literally why, this was so unnecessary).

In the first case, they decided to write Jack as so emotionally unbalanced by the hormonal changes of the pregnancy that he had severe mood swings, with him breaking down crying supposedly triggered by insignificant things (like when he cries over a cupcake? Or something similar, I can’t be bothered to check). Jack having a meltdown would not be a bad thing to explore in an audio, except it felt to me as though they were using it as a joke? Like a “ha ha look how messed up he is by being pregnant, he’s so hormonal and out of control, isn’t that hilarious? Isn’t it so funny that this character is breaking down like a hormonal woman? Isn’t his pain just the funniest thing you’ve heard? :))))” (Sidenote but I also felt like John Barrowman overacted in these scenes, it didn’t sound like he was crying, it sounded like he was play-acting crying, and that didn’t help.)

The second thing was the whole fat camp-style spa subplot. While trying to get Jack to safety, Jonty takes Jack, who is heavily pregnant and showing, to a ““health spa”“ (read: weight-loss place) where Jack is put under a strict unhealthily-restrictive diet (especially given that he’s pregnant??), controlled by the overbearing spa lady (she literally takes food off his hands and watches him like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t “”overeat””), repeatedly fat-shamed, and this is all presented as a funny gag, presumably because he’s not really fat, he’s just pregnant! But people don’t know because he’s male/male-presenting, so all the micro-aggressions and abuse he’s subjected to are funny, right? Jack not being allowed to eat despite being hungry and heavily-pregnant is totally something to laugh at, surely (/s).

Disclaimer: this is not actually portrayed as though the fat-shaming is righteous and just behaviour, it’s sort of implied that the “”health-nuts”“ running the place were obsessive and weird, but that doesn’t change the fact that the whole subplot could have been something else entirely? Like, they obviously thought this was funny. Also, I won’t get into specifics but I am personally sensitive to these issues, so I can definitely see how some people might not be turned off by this at all; as I said, your mileage may vary and this is my own take on it.

So, these are my main issues with the audio. I don’t think the writer was uncomfortable with the concept as you say, Anon; I’d actually argue the opposite. It’s just that their take on it and their sense of humour were maybe not very in-tune with modern sensibilities (or with mine, at least) and the story suffered for it.

They took a look at the idea (a male/male-presenting character being pregnant) and came up with the worst tired comedy tropes for it: mood swings (and the resulting distress) played up for laughs, an emphasis on how big the character got being made fun of/criticised with an incomprehensible fatshaming subplot, they even threw in a reference that Jack’s previous pregnancy (mentioned in his first line in ep 1 of Torchwood) was a student prank (because men being pregnant is funny, I guess). Okay, that last one is a bit unfair, I just didn’t like it. They could have made Jack’s first pregnancy something meaningful (him carrying a friend’s child as a surrogate out of love for that friend, him carrying his own child born out of a relationship, etc.) but instead they made it into a cheap one-liner joke, and yeah it does fit into the tone of the audio, but that’s the problem: I did not like the overall tone of it.

There were some scenes with Ianto that were nice, and a couple of Owen and Tosh mentions that I enjoyed, and it’s interesting that you mention the action and adventure in your ask because I actually didn’t mind those aspects at all? The action was fine with me, it was the non-action parts mostly that bothered me (the emotional tone and sense of humour like I said).

This is probably more thoughts that you wanted but I was quite disappointed with this one (and I was so looking forward to canon mpreg), so I thought I’d take the opportunity to explain why. I do acknowledge that it was a matter of my own sense of humour and sensibilities not meshing well with the writer’s (I just checked and to my shock the writer is a woman; I would have put money on them being a cis man).

This one missed the mark with me. Badly.

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Medical Instruction Vd 1″

First day back at school, so forgive me for being short :) 

“Before we get started, I just wanted to make sure that it is known that all parties involved in these videos have agreed to let me use their footage for training purposes, though they may not be used for anything else in accordance with Human Medical Privacy Laws. These tapes will go directly to the intergalactic college of interspecies biology and medicine. Those who are found to use this footage in any way contrary to its original purpose will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law”

-

The camera turns on shaking form side to side over the floor spinning quickly from the right and then to the left before finally leveling out on an image of a hallway. The Vrul scuttles along the floor with great purpose small fleet clattering against the cold metal. He turns to look at the camera, “I just got a call up the Medical bay for a human in significant respiratory distress also complaining of chest pain, so we are going to head up there and see what is going on. Now I have been the operational medical officer aboard this ship for a while now, and I have seen almost everything there is to see. Doing medicine for humans is…. Well it’s a wild ride simply because of their combination of durability and breakability. They break horribly easily and in horrific ways, but are able to live through it when they do, and that leaves it up to the medical staff to make sure that they  are quickly treated so that the shock of their injuries doesn’t send them down the road of you know…. Not being alive.”

They hurried up a hallway following after the little doctor pausing for a few seconds before the medical bay doors which opened with a hiss. A wave of sound washes over the camera, people talking and someone breathing rather heavily. The camera pans up to show a group of humans gathered around a third sitting on the edge of one of the hospital beds. They are breathing fast and heavy a hand on their chest eyes wide panicked.

The crowd opens up as the little doctor walks in.

“What do we have?”

“30 year old male with racing heart, difficulty breathing, tingling hands, dizziness, and chest pain.”

The human was breathing even harder now looking around frantically, “I….I….I’m dying….. I think I’m having a heart attack…..I can’t breathe.”

“Alright, let’s get an EKG going first thing.” The little doctor gets to work very quickly all four arms working as he begins to speak, “Now the obvious worry here is the case of chest pain, which in humans can be an indication of a heart attack. Now the heart is a very major organ in a human, and acts as a pump to move blood around the body. The blood contains oxygen and infection fighting cells etc. With a heart attack one of those little vessels in the organ is blocked, usually by plaque or fatty deposits causing death in parts of the heart muscle. Now this human is generally too young and too fit for any of that to happen…” He turns to the human, “Is there a history of heart attack or heart disease in your family?”

The human shakes their head.

“Has this every happened to you before?”

Another head shake.

The doctor ripped off a couple of sticky white circles and attached them to the human’s chest, “Now this will give us a good look of what is going on in there.” There was a pause for a minute as they continued working.

The doctor glanced at the instruments once the information began coming in, “Alright, so this is good news, the heart IS beating fast, but there does not appear to be any blockage, and it is not fast enough to be considered tachycardia. Also their blood oxygen level is within acceptable range meaning that it isn’t likely to be some other issue. Now that leaves our post likely option as being a panic attack.”

He walked over to the human to get their attention, “Do you have a history of anxiety disorder in your family?”

“A few …. Uncles.” He panted, “But it has to be…. A heart attack.”

“Well your heart is actually fine. I think in this case you ARE having a panic attack, now you are alright, this can happen to anyone not just people with a disorder, ok. Now just humor me, and I and I want you to take in one big breath counting to seven, hold it for five and then blow out at five seconds.” The human looked very skeptical, but at the order of the doctor they began.

He left the instruction to one of the other attendees, “You see, this is actually quite common in humans. Emotional functions are very closely intertwined with their physical functions mostly due to their greatly superior fight or flight mechanism. Humans have a very quick physical reaction to panic that causes the heart to beat faster, digestion to shut down and the pupils to dilate. The breathing will also speed up as you have seen. The problem is the human body reacts to the stress of being chased by a predator in the same way it reacts to, social stress, or an approaching deadline.

In this cause stress, and an elevated heart rate could have trigged a panic attack, where the body is having these physical symptoms despite the brain, and now they are trying to figure out an explanation. They generally assume they are having a heart attack or that something else horrible is about to happen, even if it is not.

He turned back to check on the human, whose heart rate had gone down a bit. They were looking a little better, but there still seemed to be a way to go.

“We are just going to have him continue this breathing exercise which is designed to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm down the feelings of anxiety and panic. I always find it interesting that the one thing that makes humans the best and dealing with extreme stress, is also the one thing that makes them crumble under more mild states of stress.

***

“So we have been called in again this time, we have a 25 year old male presenting with, extreme abdominal pain, vomiting, nausea, and a low grade fever.” The doctor walked in wearing more protective gear than he had last time. The camera pans up to another human lying on one of the beds curled into a ball moaning, face screwed up in pain, hands clutched around his middle rocking slowly back and forth in a writhing sort of way. One of the other doctors had placed a metal bowl by the human’s head as they groaned.

The doctor moved forward and had the human roll onto his back, though the human did not seem as if he wanted to. The alien doctor listened to the human’s innards, and then began lightly pressing on the abdominal cavity. As soon as he did, the human yelped in pain and curled up again looking as if he was about to be sick.

“Abdominal pain in the lower right quadrant, I would wager to say this is probably a case of appendicitis.” The doctor motioned for one of the orderlies to grab a machine and roll it over, “Now the human appendix is a part of the intestines that was long thought to be useless or a vestigial structure that humans used more when they had to clear large amounts of plant material through their digestive tract. In many cases it acts as a blind pocket that sometimes collects bacteria and then becomes inflamed. You CAN fix it with antibiotics, but the general consensus is removal.” He pulled the machine into position, using a short wand covered in cold gel to pass over the human’s skin just above the problem spot.

“Ah, just like I thought, you see that right there.” He pointed to the screen, “This right here is the inflammation being caused by the infection, and the reason that the human is going to be in so much pain right now. I would suggest at this point that we just go in and remove it with a simple laparoscopic appendectomy. As far as procedures goes, this one is actually relatively easy and should take no more than a few minutes for me to perform.  Now before you go questioning me about the time frame for this surgery, I do remind you that I am the most experienced surgeon in the galaxy. I guarantee the prep for this surgery will take longer than my ability to actually preform it.”

The human groaned.

“Don’t worry, we will have you fixed up almost immediately.”

***

“I find that there are a few general things you want to look for when treating humans. The first big one is energy level. Your average human is going to be very…. Sharp you will see it in the eye and head movements, they will, or should be very energetic with their head and arm movements, especially around the chest and shoulders. Humans like using their hands to talk. A lot of the time you can tell something is wrong with a human when they are listless and slow to respond. You may see their eyes wandering and they won’t focus on you, now some humans behave that way, but your average human will generally try to make eye contact with you at some point. Watch to make sure they are supporting their own heads, or does it seem to be bobbing or tilting in one way or another. A few other things is a general change in appetite from what is considered usual. A stressed or sick human may eat too little or too much. If your human appears confused or is having trouble answering simple questions, you will want to check them over straight away. As I said before, a sick human might appear listless, lethargic, they will tend to sleep a lot, and they may be irritable. I would make it a point to warn most students about that fact when dealing with humans, sometimes in cases of serious injury  humans tend to act in anger to pain, so they might try to fight you off or to get away, especially if the pain is really bad, they are sort of resorting back to their more baser instincts. Occasionally you may have to strap them down, or even sedate them , while there are a few humans who like comfort when they are in pain, there is a large group of them who do not like to be touched or talked to when they are. I would say that is also an important thing to note, both psychological and physical pain can cause a human to isolate themselves form you, so just make sure you are watching for those signs because they can be indicators that something is seriously wrong.”

[hb-pickle]

~°•☆Frozen Headcanons x2☆°•~

+ Culture Shock +

Ft: Honeymaren & Elsa

- I really like the idea of the Arendellians and Northuldra going through a culture shock / being really suprised by the other groups food, culture, etc. So here are a few I thought of based on IRL things:

- Honeymaren doesn't like chocolate!! ~Gaspu~ Apparently European and American chocolate is very different concerning cocoa percentages and sweetness. So I imagine Elsa gives Honeymaren some chocolate and she instantly starts having an "Idris Elba hot wings" style breakdown because the chocolate is simultaneously to spicy and too sweet. Its especially rough because she's never had chocolate before and is now scarred for life lol

Honeymaren, while choking: You didn't say it would be spicy!

Elsa, confused and distressed: It's not supposed to be spicy?!

Honeymaren, even more concerned and desperate: W H A T?

I'm sure Honey would try really hard to like chocolate, since Elsa likes it so much, but it's just very very different to her lmao

- - -

+ Elsa & Snow Babies, Mother's Day +

Ft: Elsa & Olaf

- Elsa celebrates Mother's Day with Olaf, the Snowgies, and Marshmallow! We know that even though Olaf can't technically eat food, he can still taste stuff and likes sweet things (In Frozen Fever he eats part of Anna's ice cream cake and in OFA he "taste" a candy cane and eats a fruit cake). So I assume the snowgies + Marshmallow do the same(The snowgies are also shown eating a bunch of the cake slices)! So what I headcanon is that Elsa and Olaf make a bunch of "Canadian Maple Taffy" for them (Its literally just maple syrup poured onto snow on a stick). I chose this treat because its sweet, snow themed, and pretty cheap to make (which would be ideal for creatures who literally cannot eat food).

- Anna and Kristoff don't notice when Mother's Day starts getting close (F for orphans orFans amirite). So they just come home one day and see like 500 of these things laying in snow banks (made by Elsa).

They're all confused and like wtf, but Elsa just explains that she's preparing them for her trip to the North Mountain/Ahtohallan tomorrow~~ Olaf can be pouring the tea kettle full of syrup and Elsa has the sticks ♡♡♡

- - -

- As y'all may or may not already know, I headcanon Yelena as Honey and Ryder's mother (I read a pre-F2 speculation article referring to them as a "family of three" and it stuck with me ♡). So here are some nice Yelena mom headcanons~~

- She very quiet, reserved, and caring (just like in the film), and mostly leaves Honey and Ryder  to their own devices, but she does go out of her way to mildly annoy and embarrass them. Not in the cringey early 2010s kids TV sort of way, but like in a more realistic way (all of these are based off stuff my parents did to me). Some things include:

- Wiping lotion or some foolishness on your face in public while loudly chastising you for not taking care of yourself. So the Frohana gang come to visit Honey and Ryder and Yelena doing this sh*t to Ryder (in front of their house so everyone can see):

Honeymaren: Ha that's what you get for never washing your face properly.

Yelena, jabbing Honeymaren in the butt knowing full and well Elsa is watching in the corner:

Honeymaren, mortified: MOTHER!

(Doggo caption doesn't really fit with what I'm going for lol)

She'd do all this with a completely straight face, but she and her kids both know she's playing ♡ (but they still hate it regardless).