#I truly had my vibe checked not even 5 seconds after getting cocky

[sneezysubbyboi]

Me, sick and talking to myself in the shower: Damn~ my voice sounds super deep, guttural and sexy right now, it’s shame no one’s here to–

Wild spider dropping down from the ceiling: Sup

Me: *yelps several octaves past the major scale*

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 27.10.20 lb

blah blah chachi and aryan bakchodi, i am honestly so tired of them.

GODDDDDDDDDDDD RIDDHIMA DIDN'T THROW THE CHIP INTO THE FIRE PROPERLYYYYYYYYYYYYY AND NOW THEY HAVE IT UGHHHHHHHHHHH

idhar ishani is like normally wife husband ke saath car mein jaati hai toh aagey baithke jaati hai. tum pehli ho jo dickey mein baith ke jaati ho.

this one's getting a little too cocky, having survived sar pe danda and death like 4 times today.

lmao i'm not even mad at ishani these days. she and kabir are the only entertainment i have around here. she gives me svetlana vibes.

also i am liking this protective side she has for vansh. she knows riddhima is shady and here to hurt him in some way and wants to fuck her up for that reason (ofc, in addition to the cardinal sin of not being in the same tax bracket as the raisinghanias.)

i feel like i've seen anika in like...... all these outfits.

vansh pulling a tej singh oberoi and doing shraadh of zinda person. not cool my man.

or maybe ragini IS dead and the one in the room is a twin or doppelganger or something???

also, you don't just up and schedule a shraadh whenever you feel like it???? THERE ARE DATES IT CAN BE DONE ON. KUCH BHIIII CHAL RAHA HAI YAHAAN.

he didn't even bother telling her ki ghar mein aisa kuch ho raha hai, and he's like wahaan kyun khadi ho, come do the rasm. the fuck is this dude even on?????

bechaare ko kya kya karna pad raha hai to convince her he's over his ex. imagine if you had to do a wholeasssss shraadh to make your current partner believe you're not still hung up on that person from yeaaaaars ago.

jo bhi karlo vansh, iske dimaag mein nahi ghusne waala concept. hai hi kam-aqal.

oh boy, kuch aur bhi plan kar rakha hai bhai ne. knowing him and his "surprises", i hope riddhima uses these few minutes to put on a bulletproof jacket and helmet.

meanwhile mummy full on berating kabir for believing riddhima about ragini being alive.

kabir as usual being The Biggest Mood.

lmao you know what i REALLY want to see in this show???? mummy/kabir vs. chachi/aryan mind games. each team trying to give chakma to each other; meanwhile vansh and riddhima are just off living their lives as they want in the bg. may the best psycho maa-raja beta jodi win!!!!!!!

like 40 months after the wedding, dadi is like panditji, check my vansh and riddhima's kundlis no pls.

pandit is like on my life i've never seen two people more ill-suited for each other. their life together is gonna majorly suckkkkkk. le, i been saying that since day fucking one, and i didn't need to go to pandit school for that.

dadi like koi toh samaadhaan hoga, and pandit's like lmao no these two are trainwrecks to such a degree ki even the planets be staying outta this shit. this shit is unfixable.

again, you need to know 0.0% astrology to have gotten to that amaaaazing conclusion.

ishani trying to convince dumbass bhai ki riddhima was in his car boot.

two brains inside of her right now, and she still being such a stoopid. why would you come to him, that too sooooooo confidently, with ZERO CONCRETE PROOF????

i have zoned out of whatever blah blah they're doing and am just thinking ke yeh dono hain bade evil!hot. pata nahi kaunse grahan ke time pe conceive hue the dono.

i......... ok. whatever.

the proportions of this statue are sooooooooo offffffff.

this dude has such weird ideas for bonding activities with a partner. man, why can't you just do facemasks and binge a season of some show like the rest of the normal ppl?

sis face like i wish he'd just made brunch reservations????????

will i ever get over this statue? nope. it looks FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

this dude is stone cold insane.

“tumhe toh khush hona chahiye. tumhe dekh ke aisa kyun lagta hai ki tum mujhe apni zindagi se nikaalna chahti ho?” 

UMMMMMMMM, COZ OF WHAT JUST HAPPENED 5 SECONDS AGO???/ YOU THINK THIS IS NORMAL BEHAVIOUR THAT SOMEONE WANTS IN A PERSON THEY COHABIT WITH????

sindoor, mangalsutra, and her whole godforsaken life revolving around his existence is not enough, ringggggggg kyunnnnnn utaaaaar di, it seems.

snort. messy bitch. i love her.

she's like bitch, i have a wholeass other hand. check the other one before flinging accusations.

also my god that's a fucking ugly ring and i would never ever wear it. why haven't i worn the ring??? UM COZ I HAVE GOOD TASTE. GO BACK AND GET ME SOMETHING SMALL AND DAINTY AND THAT MAKES A PERSON FEEL LIKE WEARING IT, NOT THIS FUCKING MONSTROSITY.

lmao he just grunted weakly in response.

taaai taaaiii phishhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

he's saying the right things about wanting to make new yaadein with her aand all but............. female intuition saying nope nope nope nope.

and she very wisely decides to ignore that and just go with what her heterosexuality is telling her. wonderful. should work out well.

iss bechare ko kya se kyaaaaaaaa bana diya hai. kabhi yeh vansh ka second-in-command hota tha, in whatever ambiguous empire they’re running. now he's dadi's right hand man, made to do random ghar ke kaam and ainvayi ki bakchodi.

even vansh be like DUDE, WE HAVE WORK TO DO AND YOU'RE STANDING AROUND HERE PLAYING A DHOL???????

also oh my god why is he dressed like beetlejuice??????

blah blah blah next tyohaar is here. karwachauth. lord.

karwachauth ka naam nahi liya, iske mann mein “apni maaang suhaagan ho; sang hamesha saajan ho......” started playing.

i am ishani.

hello????? she's pregnant?????? YOU GONNA FORCE HER TO KEEP VRAT?

truly my patronus, this one.

classic MAIN INN SAB KO NAHI MAANTA v/s NOOOOOOOOOO SACHCHI SHRADDHA KI TAAQAT!!!!!!!!!!!! ideals waala clash.

pighal gaya. bol nahi raha, lekin dikhaayi de raha hai.

SOME NEW RASMMMMM. PATI HAS TO GO TO BAZAAR AND GET CHOODIYAAN. god, dadi just be pulling this crap outta nowhere for her own kicks and giggles, i swear. 

also, with the shit he pulled last time with the choodiyaan, who would give him another opportunity to repeattttt ?

this dumbass. that's who.

last ditch attempt to talk her outta it, but we are a generation of women raised on bollywood/tellywood’s aggressive marketing campaign on KC. hum nahi maanne waale. by god, vrat rakh kar, tumhe chiranjeevi banaakar hi chodenge.

poor kabir being like hello? hi? remember me? jiske liye tum bas kuch mahino pehle ‘tereeee ishq mein marjaaawaaan, kuch bhi kasammmm seeee kar jawaaaaaan’ gaati thi?

on plain dressing sense, kabir wins over vansh every single dayyyyyyyy. me likeyyyy his styleeeee.

he even saying he's fasting for her. kabir - 2, vansh - 0.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND THIS DUMBASS AGREED TO MEET WITH HIM. GOD RIDDHIMA, WHAT THE FUCK????? YOU DECIDED ON ONE MAN, STICK TO HIM. 

I MEAN, I DON’T REALLY BLAME BOTH VANSH AND KABIR FOR WANTING TO MURDER HER FOR HER THAALI KA BAINGAN WAYS. I 100% GET IT.

kabir going to use the "power of sindoor" this time, it seems. cool. good luck with that. hope you've got proper CID clearance for using such a potentttttt weapon!!!!

[devourer--of--books]

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line. 

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head: 

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG. 

Nic is there to be the smart  girl™, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence. 

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship.  Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie). 

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter. 

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon 

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected. 

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical. 

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried. 

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon. 

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

[twyt-podcast-blog]

❝tea with yours truly❞

—grab your cups and let me serve you some hot pipping tea.

today’s episode: the mgas.

unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know what time it is. it’s been five seasons now. it’s the freaking mgas. mnet global auditions that never feel global but who cares? am i late to start talking about it? no. why did i decide to wait? because, i’m over it. i’m over survival shows. i’m over having a heartbreak and being an emotional wreck when my faves are eliminated. that’s why i decided to wait and to stalk. lol. i binged watched freaking four episodes of it. even then, i did not miss the entire season. i was a bit impatient. everyone’s talking about it. everyone’s balls and ovaries are bursting left and right. my bad, if you thought that this podcast is suited for work, you’re listening to the wrong podcast.

before anything, i just want to say that i’ve caught myself listening to luxe’s every night. it was really a good song. y’know, royal, trc, sphere, kt and...nova...are going to recruit new trainees for their companies, but what about the groups that they already have? see, royal’s luxe haven’t been around since march. their main rivals are still fresh in the memory. i’m talking about trc’s k.arma and kt’s eclipse. eclipse even got a summer comeback. the best time to come back honestly with all the festivals. sphere’s convex came back in april. that’s not too long ago. then, you have nova ( /sighs;) i guess that nova is in need of trainees so that they can one day debut something. anything. didn’t i ever tell you guys that, as a little child, was obsessed with jewelry. i didn’t have their talent though.

anyways without further ado, here’s my opinion, as if anyone really cares about it honestly, about the first four episodes of the mgas. i got my notes. it’s all opinions. my opinions. yes, i’ll be biased; however, i expect y’all to bother to check the episodes and performances to make your own opinions and faves.

oh, i almost forgot, today’s drink is starbucks’s matcha frappucino. it’s summer. we drink our tea cold, but doesn’t mean that what we are spitting isn’t pippin’ hot.

episode one started with a nice little shot of the places where the auditions were taking place. cute. there’s a lot of hopefuls. then, we get to see the ceos that we love so much ( /chuckles;) then, they do some lowkey scripted chitchat. you know “oh, it’s a new season again” “i know right.” “i can’t wait to meet the contestants and sign trainees who will probably never get the chance to debut” lol. speaking of contestants, there are 100 people. let me tell you who caught my attention. first, there’s this one named kim seungmin? seunghun? legit, he was imitating animals. like, top pick of the episode. yes, i’m weird like that. to be honest, the entire episode, the ceos were savage. but, i don’t blame them, because sweeties it’s freaking season 5 so you’re supposed to bring it. period. you’ve seen the show at least once, you should know. lot’s singing, dancing, rapping. y’know. it’s what you expect. by the way, an ex-member of convex freaking showed up. i was shook. like, i remember that there were redemption stories since mga season 1. but, it was usually former contestants given a second chance or trainees. a freaking ex-member. it’s freaking romeo under a new alias? i mean you guys know the rumors...but he left allegedly for personal reasons. i have the highest of expectations on him. like, i feel for his fans from back when the season two of the mgas happened. the rollercoaster ride of emotions. i feel for y’all. i’m not gonna lie to y’all. the first episode...i mean...i’m binge watching so i didn’t really take the time to really find my top picks.

let’s move on to the next episode.

episode two: the way episode two started was weird. i mean i can’t be the only who watch that little moment involving...let check my notebook for the names..ah yes, choi yena, wang jackson and son hyejoo. it’s been five seasons... doesn’t the mgas have the budget for seats for all the contestants? as for the skinship moment, y’all know that the fans are out there being like “i ship hyena or yejoo”. anyways. moving on. episode two is, in a nutshell, more singing. more dancing, more rapping. it’s also leads to the first round of eliminations. as i mentioned before, i’m not here for the heartbreak. i know that through binge-watching, i’m not getting emotionally attached to nobody. i’ll cry moving forwards from episode four and onwards. rappers who come up and perform their own stuff. i support you. i kinda expect rappers to be able to pen and to have the courage to take the stage with their own work. does that discredit the other rappers? no, i just happen to love the creative rappers and we all know tiger jk love them too. over the years, the rappers with creative genius had more chances to land in trc. it’s just how it is. so, yeah, choi yoona caught my attention. the whistling rapper, na jaemin too. i like him. recycle boy, hwang minhyun seems to have left an impression because they replayed his clip. oh, and, see, the girl hyejoo who had a moment in the beginning of the episode had another highlight moment. she switched from dancer to rapper and promoted a self-made song. should i make her a top pick? i mean she fits what i like. maybe, if she’s still around in episode four. i’m just gonna say one thing...that guy...park jinyoung. yes. biased? maybe. i mean give me a man with a guitar and that voice. mhm. so, at the end of the episode, they go through the elimination. they also reveal the top three for each category. who am i not surprised for? freakin’ minho.

up to this point, the people i got my eyes on are still alive. there are two episodes left tho. like i said, i didn’t dive into everything. i’m playing catch up. on top of that, i had to have my eyes on my picks. anyways.

i’m taking this moment to take refresher but also talk about our sponsor. so, we are sponsored by this lovely game reminiscent of that one otome mobile game that destroyed our sleeping patterns. if i love you is nice f2p game where you decide to use a dating app. you will be texting, chatting, going on dates and receiving phone calls from waifu or husbando. the upside is that you don’t have to set alarms and to miss on work or school. now back to the mgas.

episode three: so, isn’t just me or interviews are meh. i mean maybe it’s because i just want to reach episode four as quickly as possible so that i can get into the social media aspect, but, some of these interviews...chile. y’all sound so cocky and cocky isn't cute. i could also blame the editing, because it’s mnet. you can’t expect a snake to be nice. it’s the duo performances. man, it’s a staple since the first mgas. i am watching and i’m loving every single second that i am given. the groups overall are really strong. i already brought up names and they didn’t disappoint me. i’m not going to go to deeply on episode three, because episode four is right down in the corner. i kam already seeing myself getting attached, but i can’t deal with a double heartbreak back to back. i need to calm down. i am betting after watching this top 3 that minho is simply gonna ride smoothly. he was in the top in season 2. he bet it’s gonna be the same for season 3. like, everything he did was great. it’s like everything he touches turns to gold. also, two of my picks were eliminated. i’m talking about jinyoung and yoona. see, i should have waited until i reach episode four before i freaking choose the people i’m rooting for. anyways.

all this binge-watching without a chance to really watch highlights on naver as led to the last episode to have aired.

episode four: my children, we made it. all caught up. it’s essentially the second round of the duo performances. they were nice. i want to say that i feel genuinely bad for the contestant lee nakyung. so, first, the ceos commented on how she had been throwing away her jacket every performances. i got to admit that you can’t use the same trick over and over and over again. then, they said that she had better chemistry with minho? that was sad. the way it was edited it pretty much gave the vibe that nakyung is nothing without minho. he was the partner. i feel like everyone who will partner with minho, who’s a vet, might get similar backlash that minho is their saving grace. the girl’s talented. mnet, i know that the comment was about her lack of chemistry with her new partner, but your editing really sucked. sorry, i had a lot of feelings about this above all. anyways, like the hopefuls are very good this season. like, i see no holes. at the end of the day. it is still a competition. then, my friends, they panned on two empty seats. so they brought back the people who were eliminated, bitch. my eliminated faves were separated, but, y’know what, i’m okay. also, i’m sorry that wang jackson was not on list, but then, he did that with park jinyoung. they did that. also, i didn’t give ryujin or sia the attention they deserved. i had to go back and watch their performance to understand why they were top three. ladies, yes. yes. YES. i hope i conveyed my opinion well. minho, again, top three. no surprise there. so, back to the returning kings. they are my picks. y’all know that i’m jinyoung biased at the moment. i got other people on my radar. i’m sad that hyejoo was eliminated. was rooting for her. nakyung, i’m gonna shield her and protect her from harm. i will fight. now, i can finally get into it. maybe some of you were expecting your names to be shouted out. moving forward with episode five, i will be able to really go in-depth with the performances and the people. i also get to check their social media and to see what kind of people they are.