#I tried to go through the tag cuz im thinking oh what could go wrong

[autismsasuke]

went through the main sasuke tag. never again.

[normal-thoughts-official]

The world keeps spinning (it really shouldn't)

Vance did it. He defeated Josephine, saved his grandpa and Elliot, and saved the town. Everything's fixed.

No. Everything is awful. He failed, and now his friend- now Tom is gone.

And he'd rather fight Josephine all over again, because it'd be easier than what he has to do now- tell Andy about it.

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Relationships: Andy Kang/Tom Sato, Danni Asturias/Imogen Wescott, (dannimogen is background and very brief but i couldn't resist), Andy Kang & Ava Cunningham & Lucas Thomas & Lily Ortiz

Additional Tags: tom dies and everything is awful, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Friendship, for basic context im going with the version of ILITW that i got, which is that everyone survived and noah took jane's place, and then for ILB i did the version where tom dies obviously, (which is not the version i got), (everyone survived), (i feel the need to say this for my own ego), but anyway i was like what if tho. andy would be devastated, and then... this happened?, only difference from canon is that ILITW MC told everyone about noah a lot before, also like. imma be real with yall, im physically uncapable of giving my MCs serious names, so ILB MC was named That Bitch and i didnt want to give him a real name, cuz it felt like betrayal, so im just calling him vance for this one, is it his nickname? is he called vance vance? dont worry about it, Anyway that's it, Pining, you know. before the death part. it's mentioned, also we're ignoring the whole richard tries to murder MC thing, cuz i dont have time for that, so pretend ILB ended on chapter 17, Hopeful Ending, considering the theme i mean

Read it on Ao3

The city of Westchester looks exactly the same, but somehow feels a lot less wholesome, now. Vance walks in it and feels like a corpse among the living, like a ghost screaming to everyone that something's wrong. And being ignored.

It shouldn't look the same, without Tom.

But no one knows, yet.

He swallows, running a hand behind the nape of his neck. That's why he's here, anyway - they should know, they deserve to know, and he doesn't want to have the funeral without Tom's friends there.

Which is why he's going to tell Andy. Himself, in person. Because he might not know him very well, but he wants to do the right thing, and that's the least Andy deserves. He knows there's no one Tom loved like he did Andy, and from what he's seen of them together, the feeling was mutual.

He has to do this. But he feels sick, just thinking about that bond, and how it was ruined.

How could he let this happen to them?

He was so cocky, so stupid, so reckless... He thought everything would turn out okay. Assumed it would, even, because it kept getting him through it, to think that everything would turn out fine.

God. What a joke.

He walks into the little diner Andy had recommended. I'm sure you've heard of that place, Tom loves it, he had texted. We always went there to celebrate our wins back in high school. His stomach had churned, but he didn't say anything, because he wasn't going to tell Andy via text. He has to do this right. It's the least he owes him.

So he pretended that everything was fine, and agreed to meet him there. Woke up, and dragged himself to the place, trying to muster up the courage to face the world that seemed to not even care about his mistakes.

When he gets to the diner's door, he takes a deep breath, trying to ground himself for what he's about to do. Face his own mistakes. Face the pain he caused when he failed them both.

He walks in, and to his relief, and despair, Andy is already there. He smiles brightly when he sees Vance, and Vance wants to disappear.

"Vance! Nice to see you, dude. I heard about what went down in Pine Springs, glad you're okay," he says, not giving time for Vance to answer before continuing, this weird sense of calm and sympathy about him. "So, I assume you still need help with that ghost? From what I've seen in the news, it seemed like you handled it pretty well, but it's not like they are giving us supernatural updates or anything, so I figured there were still some loose ends to tie. Are the other guys coming? Where's Tom?" he looks over behind Vance, and Vance wants to die at the question. God, how is he going to tell him? He didn't really think about that, beyond the part where he has to. "I kind of thought you'd come together again. Bad move to come separated, Tom is always late to everything, I swear if it weren't for me he'd have been kicked out of the team for missing practice too many times. And I'm not the most punctual guy in the world, mind you, but I still had to drag his ass there so he'd be on time- is everything okay?"

Vance is a little shocked by the question. It's not, but what is he supposed to answer? "Andy," he says, a little careful, "things… went a little wrong, back there."

"Oh, shoot," he says, "I'm sorry, man, I kinda assumed, when I heard about how the flooding and the animal attacks were in full swing and then just stopped suddenly, that that was when you got rid of the ghost, you know? And seeing you all in one piece… I thought it was over already. Do you need help? I can round up the guys, and we can go-"

"No, Andy," Vance says, "the ghost is gone."

Andy looks at him, confused. "Then what's the problem?"

"Tom," he says, then winces when he sees all the color drain from Andy's face.

Andy waits for barely a second, then breaks into anxious questioning. "Tom? Why? What do you mean? Is he hurt? How bad is it? Did he have to go to the hospital? Where is he?"

Vance wants to cry. God. God. He can't do this. "Andy..."

Andy just looks at him, eyes wild, terrified, and it hasn't even hit him yet. "Vance. Vance. Please. What happened? Does Tom need me? Because if so, we need to go-"

"Tom's gone," he says, and it leaves him in a rush, a whisper, taking with it the last of his energy. He's empty, and somehow, it's still awful. "He's… he's dead, Andy."

Andy looks at him, eyes wide, unfocused, lost. "This isn't funny," he says. "If Tom put you up to this, knock it off right now. Tell him not to ever joke about-"

"Andy," Vance says, then swallows. "Tom wouldn't joke about that. You know that."

"No, he wouldn't, but..." His eyes begin to water, panic settling in, gaze darting across the room as if searching for him, "But… No. No. No, knock it off."

Vance starts crying before Andy does. "I'm sorry, Andy."

--------

Andy is in shock. He freezes in place, mouth hanging open, everything about him completely still except for his eyes, still so damn wide, still searching the place, searching Vance, begging for something, anything. Vance sits him back down on the table, gently, and Andy lets himself be handled back, eyes still not settling on him.

"I'm sorry," Vance says. "I… I promised you that I would take care of him. I tried, but… I'm so sorry."

"How?" he asks, "how could this happen? This isn't… After Redfield, when everyone survived, I just… I didn't think any of us could lose to another monster, I..." He shakes his head, vigorously, desperately. "This was supposed to be over. We were done, we were free, it was supposed to be over, we were all supposed to be safe, it shouldn't..."

"I'm sorry. It all happened so fast, I… If I had been faster, maybe..."

"Well, it's a bit late for that now," Andy snaps, and Vance bites his lip, not recoiling, because he deserves it. Then Andy stops, as if realizing what he had said, and for a second, his eyes seem clear again. He shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry. I… If there's anything I've learnt from everything that happened, it's that we can't point fingers when things get hard." He finally looks up at Vance, shaking, eerily still, nothing like the guy he was just seconds ago. He's wrecked, Vance thinks, and he wants to tear at himself in guilt. "What happened? Did he- did he drown, or… Did the ghost..."

"We were fighting monsters," Vance explains. "There were just… So many of them, and it all happened so fast, I..." he looks away, not daring to look back at the memory, not daring to remember the awful scene. As if he has to. Everytime he closes his eyes, it's back, punishing him. "We got his body," he explains. "Pine Springs is taking the victims to mass graves, but we wanted to give him a proper burial. I thought… You'd want to come."

Andy seems surprised, like that hadn't crossed his mind. "You haven't buried him yet?"

Vance bites his lip. "No. We're doing it tonight. We didn't have the time before, and… Well, I thought you'd want to be there. And I think he'd have wanted his body to be in Westchester, so..." He trails off.

Andy looks at him, hesitant. He bites his lip, looks away, then back at him. "Can I see the body?"

Vance does recoil, this time. He wasn't expecting this question. "I… You won't want to."

"What do you mean, I won't want to? I need to say goodbye to him, I-"

"Andy," he says, as gently as possible, because he deserves Andy's anger, all of it, but he won't let him do that to himself. "You won't want to remember him like that. His body…" He looks at Andy's eyes. He's still furious, livid, shaking, and he's lost, and Vance realizes that he doesn't get it, doesn't understand what Vance is saying, and this might be even worse than having to tell him Tom is dead. "It's torn to pieces, Andy. There's not much for you to see."

Andy freezes, for the second time that day. "Was he- oh, god," he looks at his own shaky hands, somehow even more in shock than before. "Was it… At least, was it quick?"

Vance starts crying again. He opens his mouth to answer. He can't. He chokes on the words, on his guilt, on his uselessness. "I'm so sorry, Andy."

------

Andy throws up. Once, twice. He doesn't insist on looking at the body. Obviously, he can't. Just imagining it- it's too much.

He tries to comfort Vance, because he- he's trying to do better, with his anger, with his impulsiveness, but all he can think about is how much he wants to destroy something, and honestly, the whole conversation is a blur. He punches the wall instead, once he gets home. And throws up. Again and again. Sends his friends a message, letting them know about the funeral. Cries. Punches the wall again. And again, and again, hoping that his hands will start to bleed, that he'll tear himself apart. His mom asks what's got him so angry, and he yells, "Tom is dead!". Her face twists in shock, and he can't look at it. He runs away.

Being back outside is almost worse. Everything- it should be in shambles. The whole town, the whole world should be on fire, fizzling, filled with screams and despair, like Andy is. He's never lived in a world without Tom before, never been away from him his whole life, and it shouldn't look like it's just the same. Everything should be gone, destroyed. And it is, but it doesn't look that way, and Andy wants to tear it all apart until it makes sense, at least.

He hates Westchester now. He hates it. God damn the stupid woods, and the stupid cult, and the fucking Power! God damn Andy for telling Tom about it, for letting him become this sort of- monster hunter, for believing that just because they overcame a ghost once, it would keep happening if they pushed their luck.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Tom can't be dead. It's impossible.

How can Andy still be standing, if Tom isn't here?

---------

He wanders like that the rest of the day, not noticing the hunger that builds up after going a whole day without eating, not noticing the passersby looking at him worriedly, not noticing the thousands of missed calls from his mom, not noticing anything but this awful despair. He knows the feeling of wanting to claw his chest off intimately well, but it's never been like that before. He wants to carve himself hollow. He wants to scream. He wants to run. And he runs from the all-encompassing nothingness, even though he has nowhere to go.

He goes from angry to empty, and then back to angry, all day long, and the day passes in a blur.

--------

Andy meets up with Vance and two girls from their crew. Their group was pretty small, he realizes. A lot smaller than Andy's was, all those years ago. Three years ago. Forever ago. Another lifetime. Just yesterday.

The cemetery is empty, but there's a grave with a black casket they're standing next to. "I thought all the cemetery crew was helping Pine Springs," he says, like he cares. Honestly, he hadn't thought about the logistics of this at all.

"They are," Vance confirms, serious. "You, uh… You know about Noah, right…?"

Andy nods. "Yeah, we, uh, reintroduced ourselves to him a little after you guys left." It was weird, to say the least. All that anger, all that betrayal, bubbling up again right when they had all started to move on from what had happened, to think that it was over… The urge to scream at him, demand answers… And then seeing all the hurt, and the confusion, and remembering that they had loved Noah, once, most of their lives, and that at the end of the day, the only one who had suffered from his actions was himself.

It wasn't easy to forgive. Not to Andy. Or Stacy. Or Ava. But they had been working on it. Maybe they couldn't forgive, much less forget, but at the same time, they couldn't get rid of that bond, either.

Still… "What does this have to do with… With Tom?" If Noah had anything to do with his death, Andy would kill him all over again. He doesn't care about his freaky powers, he'll die if he has to, but Noah will pay.

"He, uh, helped. Dig the grave and, uh, get a casket. That's how we got everything ready."

Oh. "I… I see," he says. "Is he here?"

"No. I told him you guys were coming, and he said it was better if he left."

"Oh," Andy answers. "I guess that's… Yeah. Still..." he raises his voice a little bit, in the direction of the woods. "Thank you, Noah."

He doesn't see or hear anything, not really, but still, somehow, he can tell that Noah is pleased. He can picture Noah's smile and that fragile little "friendsss..."

He sighs, suddenly exhausted.

Vance seems to notice, god bless his soul. "Are the others coming?", he asks, gently.

"Lily, Lucas, and Ava are," Andy replies. "The rest were out of town, and they… They won't make it."

"I'm sorry."

Andy kicks a pebble. "It's fine," he says. It's the kind of lie that's so absurd that it becomes true. Nothing is fine. It'll never be fine. So it doesn't matter at all, and it ends up being fine.

Vance seems to realize what's going through his head, somehow, because he looks unsure of what to say. Finally, he settles on, "uh, Andy. These are Danni, and Imogen," he says, gesturing to each of them, and Andy musters up enough energy to look at their faces while he does that, at least. Then, his eyes widen for a second, finally taking in what they look like.

"Wait, you're Imogen Wescott?" he says, a little dumbfounded. "When I heard that name, I kinda expected you to be, you know..."

"White and insufferable?" Imogen asks, a little smile directed at him, so gentle he can barely handle it. "Yeah. That's why I'd rather go by Genny, usually."

Danni frowns at her, slightly troubled. "You never told me that."

Imogen's smile turns a little brighter. "Oh, no, not for you, Danni. For you, I'd rather go by 'babe'".

Danni also smiles at her, and they squeeze each other's hands, and the edges of grief seem to turn just a little softer for them both. Andy can tell that things get just a little easier for them, just a little less grim, because they have each other. And he needs to look away, wants to run, because he and Tom… They could've… In a way, they were...

He feels like he's ready to run again. God, he fucked up so bad. What was he supposed to do now, how could he get better when the one thing in the world that always made him feel better was Tom? He lost him, he's gone, it's over, and somehow it hadn't hit quite the way it did at that moment, looking at that connection, that love that showed through grief. He averts his eyes, feeling wild and cornered, and turns back right in time to almost run into Lily - who looks devastated, and reaches out to touch his arm. Which feels crazy, because Andy is raw, and his whole body is bleeding, and rotting away, and who would touch him-

"I'm so sorry, Andy." She says, and Andy finds himself hugging her tight, and he feels like she should wither, die at his touch, suffocate, but she just hugs him back and pats him and Andy cries on her shoulder, and he's never cried in front of her before, much less like this. But he can't stop, he can't do anything, he's so heavy and dizzy and lost-

And Lily is stronger than they give her credit for, because she holds him, this endless weight that is him, even when he shakes and stains her sweater with tears, like it's nothing. She feels so solid, right then, the only solid thing in the world. She's got him, Andy knows, and it's like finally he ran into something he can take shelter in. He takes a deep breath, then another, and holds on for dear life.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says, maybe the only thing he knows how to say right now. Maybe this is how Jane felt, in the end - this endless spectre of regret, bigger than everything, than everyone, encompassing her and drowning her until it ate her whole and left her empty, with only the Power and its evil inside her.

He's so tired, but he's not empty, not yet.

He almost wants to be.

"Don't apologize," Lily says, so sad and sympathetic, and it takes Andy a moment to realize what she's even talking about. "I'm really sorry, I..."

It's only then that Andy's eyes focus enough to see Ava and Lucas standing a little after her, their faces twisted with sadness and bodies frozen in place. At times like this, it really is obvious that Lily is the bravest out of all of them, by far. Andy doesn't think he's ever cried in front of any of them, and Lucas and Ava look- completely lost.

Lucas is the first to talk, out of them both. His voice is very soft. "Andy, if there's anything you need..."

Ava interrupts, words leaving her way too fast. "We'll be staying with you tonight." She blinks for a second, frowning at Lucas. "Sorry, I, uh, hadn't realized you were talking." She looks like she just came out of a daze. She probably had been running that in her head for a while. Lucas puts his hand on her shoulder, and Ava runs a head on her neck, embarrassed.

"It's okay," Andy answers, even though her apology wasn't directed at him. "You don't have to, you know, watch over me or..." He trails off.

"We're not leaving you alone," Ava says, resolute. "You know the others couldn't come, but we all agreed that we should be… You know..."

Andy chokes on something he can't quite feel. He looks down at his feet, and he hasn't felt this small in years. "I… Okay."

Ava reaches out to him, hesitant, and gives him a little pat on the shoulder. Lucas starts rubbing his back soothingly, and, very awkwardly, they gravitate into a group hug. Andy can see the nervousness in Ava's eyes, the worry that she's doing this wrong somehow, like a hug is the most complex thing in the world, and he tries to muster up a little smile of encouragement to her, but he's forgotten how to do that. He doesn't know how to do anything, anymore.

Slowly, they separate, and all three of them still keep some sort of touch with Andy - even Ava, with her hand close to his shoulder - like they're trying to anchor him, but he drifts away anyway, lost in whatever it is that's left of himself.

Vance looks down at him for a moment, as if waiting for a signal, but Andy doesn't know for what, so he waits for Vance to figure it out. Finally, he says, "should we start?"

Andy frowns. "Wasn't there some other guy with you? Pork something?"

Vance, Imogen, and Danni all look at each other, uncertain, surprised, for a moment. It's Imogen who speaks up. "He… He left us."

Ava swallows. "Did he also..."

"No," she says, shaking her head, sadly. "He, uh, deserted the group."

"He what?" Someone asks, shocked, almost outraged, and when Andy sees the looks in everyone's faces, he realizes that it was him.

"He couldn't take it," Vance says, face twisted with sadness. "All the fighting, the monsters… He left."

Andy is shaking. Falling apart. About to explode. "When?"

Vance doesn't look at him. "Right before the final battle."

"He abandoned you when you were going up against the evil ghost?"

"He..." Vance begins, then finds that he has nothing else to say. "Yeah."

"How…" Andy begins, lost for words, and then it happens. He explodes. "How dare he!" He screams. "Tom was counting on him, he trusted him, he needed him, and he just left? He should have been there! He should have been there, he should," Andy looks at his own hands, in shock, watching them tremble and go out of focus, like there are tears blocking his vision, and he feels sick, on the verge of death, and he realizes that he's not talking about that guy at all. "He should have been there!" He slips from his own control, falling to his knees, covering his face, feeling shame, shame, shame, hatred, disgust. "He should… I should… Oh God, I just let him go alone..."

"Andy..." Someone says. Maybe Lucas. Maybe Lily. Maybe the Imogen girl. It sounds so sympathetic. He wants to claw at his own skin and hide.

"I should have been there, I shouldn't… I had experience, what was I thinking..."

"Tom didn't want you to go," someone else says, gently. "I was there when you talked, remember? You didn't abandon him. You said you were going to come, and he told you not to."

"Tom.. Tom is not my damn boss," Andy answers, still covering his face, feeling the tears stop spilling and start to drown him from the inside, and god damn T, the least Tom deserves is for him to be able to cry properly- "I-I should have… gone," he chokes, shaking.

The next one who speaks is Ava. "He wouldn't have wanted you to be at risk, Andy."

"I don't care. I don't care. I'm selfish like that, I'd rather it was me. I could have helped him, I could have saved him, even if I had to- to take his place..."

"Andy..." is all Ava says, sounding shaken, devastated.

"Fuck!" He screams, punching the ground beneath him as if trying to punish the earth for taking Tom. "He would have never left me like that, I could always count on Tom, I could always..." he feels his chest constrict, or maybe burst, with all the tears and horror inside of him, like he's cracking from the inside. "Always..." he can't form the words, can't find the air, and he falls in on himself, more, more, more, closing in, suffocating, "always..." he can't breathe. He can't breathe. He tries to draw it in, to keep himself steady, but every time he tries to bring it in, the air escapes from him again, further, abandoning him, and he wheezes, again, again, closing in further, suffocating, oh God, he's going to die…

"It's a panic attack!" Someone screams, then kneels beside him, putting their hands on his shoulders. "Andy. Andy. Focus on me. You need to breathe. Deep lungfuls. Come on. I'll count to four. Keep breathing in. 1… 2..."

"Can't," he wheezes. It's too strong, like there's something… Something constricting his chest, inside and outside, and then he realizes… "Binder." He sits down straighter, no longer closing in on himself, and that awful vulnerability gets even worse, but it's easier to breathe. He follows the person's counts… 1, 2, 3, 4… Then up to five, then to six, then to seven, then eight… Until finally he doesn't need help, and he opens his eyes and contemplates the absolute mess that he is, and Imogen's kind, relieved face just inches from him.

"Good, Andy, you did well… I have these sometimes, too, I know how scary they are, you were so brave..." Imogen keeps on saying, painfully understanding, and he nods, a bit exhausted to explain. He didn't take his binder off all day, didn't remember… And if he wears it for too long, he's more prone to hyperventilating, especially if he's stressed. Tom knew that. Tom would have known what was going on. Tom… Fuck.

"I'm sorry," he says, to everyone, and no one in particular.

"Don't apologize. We're all glad you're okay," Lily says, and he realizes that, somehow, she had also kneeled beside him and brought him into another hug. He hides his face on her shoulder, shaking his head, trying to breathe. Breathing. She pets his head, a little bit, and he can feel some more touch, too - little pats on his shoulder and back, all gentle, not crowding him, like he's some sort of wild animal they're trying to calm down.

God, what a mess.

He holds Lily tighter, wanting to hide from the world. She lets him, because it's the kind of person Lily is. He feels himself drift away, for a while, but Lily's still petting his head and he can't lose himself completely. He shakes his head, wanting to fight it, almost wanting to get away from Lily, but he can't escape the gentleness in her embrace. He still can't cry, but he feels his eyes water and burn anyway, and he shakes his head against Lily's shoulder. He just wants this to be over. Please, he's so exhausted.

His breaths even, despite himself, but Andy keeps shaking, and he keeps shaking his head slightly against Lily. He wants this to end, it has- has to be a nightmare…

"Shh, Andy, don't hold it in, it's okay," Lily says, slowly, sadly, and Andy shakes his head more vigorously. No. He can't be weak right now, it's only going to make it last longer. He needs to end it, can't be done with this until Tom has gotten his goodbyes.

It's the least Andy owes him, now that there's nothing else he can do.

So, he speaks up.

"We should go on," he says, suddenly feeling resolute. It's easier to do this if he has something to focus on. He needs to see this through the end, for Tom. If he thinks only about that...

"Are you sure?" Vance asks, hesitant.

Andy nods, forcing his vision to focus. "He needs to rest."

----------

Everyone's speeches go by in a blur. Vance talks about how good Tom's heart was, how he was willing to drop everything to go help a bunch of strangers, how everyone could always count on him. He cries, and he says he's sorry, and the girls put their arms around him, tell him that he did his best. Imogen brings up how kind he was, and Danni talks about his strength. They really loved him, Andy notices, and feels his heart settle just a little bit. He was loved till the end. Of course he was.

Lucas talks about how supportive Tom was, how he was always uplifting everyone around him and would let Lucas babble on about conservation for hours. Lily brings up how much he believed in her and supported her when she was making her videogames. Ava says that Tom was the only one who ever saw her looking up Westchester's history and cults and just… Sat down with her and helped, understanding that she needed this to feel safe, to feel ready, and sharing that burden of getting ready for a disgrace, just a little bit. Andy never knew that Tom had been joining Ava for research. He could've helped with that, too. He could have done a lot of things, if he had paid more attention.

He's left for last, and a part of him wants to be a coward, to stay silent, but that was never his style.

"When Tom had turned into a zombie," he begins, "Redfi- Jane made him hurt me. And I wasn't worried for myself. I was worried for him. I wanted him back, no matter what it took, no matter what happened to me," he begins, not looking at anyone in particular, because he knows most of them already know this story, but he's not going to- he's not going to deny Tom the chance to know how he felt about him, before he rests. It's the least Andy owes him.

So, he takes a deep breath and goes on, pushing himself into saying something that matters.

"Then our friends showed up, and they said that Tom was still there. That I had to reach out to him. So I tried. I talked to him about our childhood. About how much he had been supporting me… How he was my best friend. He was hesitant, but so… Scared. I didn't know what to do. Tom and I always got each other..." He loses himself a little, shaking his head, purging the thoughts that were keeping him from going on, "And then someone said, 'Andy's hurt. H-he needs help'." He loses focus for a second, and that can't happen. He takes a breath, tries to make himself talk. "And just like that… Tom came back.

"He extended his hand to me, and helped me to my feet, and suddenly there was color in his face again, and for a second he wasn't even confused as to what the hell was going on, he just wanted to make sure I was okay. He came back because I needed him. Because he couldn't bear to hurt me. He was always there for me, and I… I don't think I ever needed him more than right now."

He stops a minute, to look at the faces surrounding him. There's a grief in them that looks almost like… Pity.

And Andy isn't even mad about it. He feels pitiful.

"I'm not the best guy with words," he admits, "so I don't know how to express how much this meant to me, or how much Tom meant to me. No one understood me like him. Tom is… Was… No, is a part of me. Maybe the best part of me, because I loved him more than anything else about myself. I'll miss him for the rest of my life." He looks down at Tom's grave, carved out of anything else to say. "I love you, buddy."

It's not the greatest speech that's ever been given, but it's what he can say, and at least he's done it. He'll be able to do better, later. He'll come back to talk to him again. As many times as he can, for as long as he can. He swears on that.

Andy steps back from the grave, and doesn't look as they slowly fill it, covering the closed casket with dirt. He finally allows himself to let the exhaustion catch up with him, and is overcome by that blissful, blissful emptiness.

---------

He's fully expecting himself to drop asleep as soon as they get to Ava's place. They decided to stay there for the night, because Andy still doesn't want to face his mom, to see that same grief in her, for her to want to talk to him, to tell him that everything would be fine. He can't do that, not today. At least Lucas had enough foresight to warn her of where they are, so she should leave him alone for now. Lucas is very reliable in a crisis, Andy thinks, making a note to himself to thank him properly later.

But he can't sleep. He's too exhausted to even rest. And for some reason, even though he doesn't want to talk, that's exactly what he found himself doing for the past few hours. Vomiting up all sorts of memories and thoughts, ranging from funny moments he had with Tom to all of his regrets, and Andy's always been kind of a stress-talker, but it's never been like this. He feels like he's been skinned alive; there's nothing to hold himself together, to hold anything at all in.

He cries all the tears he didn't think he had left in him anymore, and he curses himself, and the guy who left them in the end, and Noah, and the Power, and the cult, and himself again. He scratches his own skin until Lucas gently takes his hands in his, stopping him from doing more of it. And he talks, through all of that. Talks and talks and talks.

The words make him drift through memories, through states of mind, and he knows he's so damn volatile today, it's like he can't anchor himself to a feeling, but his friends put up with him anyway.

Finally, he starts to settle into this sort of… Slowness, like his mind is clear, or maybe blank, even as he keeps on thinking. And he keeps talking through it, letting all the minor regrets have their turn after he's too damn done to keep dealing with the worst parts.

"I never told him I was in love with him," Andy says, staring at the three empty mattresses in front of him, because it's easier than looking at any of his friends, who are currently sitting right beside him, as he babbles on. "I was going to, you know? After R- Jane. I had almost died, so I figured, you know- yolo, and all that. And then I told myself, 'I'll wait until I'm out of the hospital.' And then I started to think… What if he didn't feel the same way? What if things got weird? What if I end up losing him? And I never told him," he looks at his own feet, "and now I lost him anyway."

They all just look at him. They used up all the "I'm sorry, Andy"s left in them a long time ago, he thinks. There's only so many platitudes you can muster up when you know they're worthless, when you're just repeating yourself.

God bless them for trying, though. They're sticking with him through their own- everyone's inadequacy to deal with what's going on. Andy can't thank them enough for that.

"He knew you loved him," Ava says, serious, and Andy frowns at her, doubtful. "He might not have known you were in love with him, but… He knew how much he meant to you. I'm sure of it."

Andy laughs, humorless, "did you finally get those mind reading powers you wanted?" he says. It falls flat, but they pretend it doesn't, for his sake.

Ava rolls her eyes. "Don't be an ass, Kang," she says. "No. I just… I can tell. Anyone can."

Andy bites his lip, looking away.

She presses on, as gently as she can. "Besides, you also know, don't you? Regardless of anything else… Tom loved you, just as much as you loved him."

"I still love him," Andy says, before he can think about it, and a weird kind of shame creeps up on him - for saying it, for not saying it sooner, for realizing that this… It'll probably never go away, even now that it's completely pointless, that it's just proof of his cowardice.

"That's… Normal," Lily says, fiddling a little with her sweater. "You don't forget someone just like that, just because something happened. I mean, look at me and Britney. It took me years to get over her, and even then, I had to have supernatural forces show me exactly who she was, first."

"She didn't deserve you," Ava says.

"Maybe not. It doesn't matter now," Lily says. "The point is… It's okay to still love him."

Andy hugs his knees. "I don't think anything is okay, right now."

"That's okay, too."

They stay in silence for a moment, and then Lucas speaks up. "I know 'it gets better' stories don't really help at times like these," he says, "so I won't tell you that, but… I know what it's like, to feel like nothing will ever be okay, ever be enough. So… At least you're not alone, in that feeling."

Andy's mouth does something. It's not a smile, but it's what it can do right now. "Yeah. At least it's not like last time," he says. "With Jane. We all fell apart, and… It felt really lonely, even though..." He chokes up. "I had Tom."

Lucas rubs at Andy's shoulder sadly, and Andy shakes his head.

"It's just that he didn't get it, you know? And I couldn't tell him, about what happened," he says, instead of thinking about how much worse this is, no matter how many friends he has by his side right now. "So I… Missed you guys." He finishes, ashamed.

"We get it," Ava says, solemn. "And we're sticking with you, this time around."

"Yeah," Lucas agrees.

"Yeah," Lily adds.

"Okay," Andy answers. "I… Thanks."

They hug him tighter. It's all they have to say.

[phantomrose96]

@snorlaxlovesme dsjdsj I hope you don’t mind if I respond to your tags for King?? They’re really really good I love them

#im sorry these tags are about to be long but there was no ao3 link so we're gonna do this here #(spoilers for this fic btw so dont read these bfore you read the fic)

#ONE #your writing is fucking fantastic #from the sensory details like the cold weather feeling clammy and the wetness on bakugo's ankles #and his hearing constantly fading in and out depending on his emotional state #to the STRUCTURE of this story #like how you show in the first couple paragraphs the (wicked wicked imagery) ''burnt wick on disembodied legs'' and thats it #and then have fujimori rewrite bakugo's memories #and then have him cleared #and THEN show us bakugo's memories of the actual events #that was way fucking cool and i just loved everything about the style of this writing

#TWO #the character interactions were awesome #how deku cried a little thinking about how all the heroes from UA weren't perfect examples of morality #how bakugo refuses to fire at deku at first and then slips when he tells him to DIE like he normally would #how cold and unforgiving todoroki is bc he KNOWS all about fujimori and what sort of cases he normally handles #the ''he's the reason my mom--/my dad--/i--'' line was heartbreaking #but then how in his last scene he's almost DESPERATE for bakugo to prove his innocence to him and make this not as bad as it seems #ahh it was all so good

#and i also just loved how you added to the universe by having fujimori exist #how they have this monster of lawyer who can get let you walk away from just about anything #and UA uses him / keeps cases like this strictly confidential to keep their record clean #idk man this whole fic was GOOD and now im SAD #sorry this whole review was in tags#

HELLO YES THANK YOU, I REALLY LOVE THIS REVIEW BECAUSE YES TO ALL OF IT. 

And I’m really really happy that you listed the structure of the story as something you liked! ^^ Cuz the structure went through A LOT of reworking from the initial draft. Like the first draft kinda had Bakugou’s whole memory of the incident info-dumped in the second section. And the more and more I iterated on the draft, the more I realized that I could capitalize so much more strongly on WHAT is remembered WHEN, especially as that relates to giving the reader a slow, trickle-feed of information around what, exactly, happened. And the sheer magnitude I could give it if I culminated in Bakugou remembering the exact moment after his name’s been cleared.

FOR THE CHARACTER INTERACTIONS, that was another thing that really, really evolved. My initial idea was more simply “Todoroki knows who Fujimori is because of his father”, but at first that was just a mechanism to make the other U.A. kids aware that something bad has gone down. I originally planned to end the fic during the scene of Midoriya and Bakugou sparring (with a different, wrap-it-up kind of ending to that scene too)

But I went for a run this evening and thought about how I really wanted to wrap up the fic, and I kinda had the epiphany that knowing Fujimori ISN’T just some little tidbit of info for Todoroki. That in the world I built, Fujimori ruined Todoroki’s life. And Todoroki can’t stomach the thought of a classmate, someone he almost would consider a friend, walking that exact same path, receiving the exact same absolution as his father.

And it felt even more right, because it meant the fic wouldn’t go in the direction of all the U.A. kids just worrying about Bakugou, and siding with him by default because he’s their friend. It made me realize that the scene with Midoriya confronting Bakugou wasn’t Midoriya doing his characteristic “i have to help everyone” song and dance. He’s hurt. He’s confused. He isn’t sure if he can look at Bakugou the same anymore. Midoriya tries first, more gently, to get Bakugou to explain what happened. And when that doesn’t work, and Bakugous  ‘everything’s been resolved’ is taken the wrong way by Todoroki, as bragging, Todoroki comes in hitting the hardest. Begging Bakugou to just prove him wrong. and it all ends, intentionally, with no clean resolution. because how could you possibly wrap something like this up all nice and clean

And about Fujimori himself - he became a more and more terrifying character the deeper into the draft I went. I, personally, want to punch him. 

#EDIT: WAIT IM BACK I JUST NOTICED THE TITLE #CALLED ''KING'' AND NOTICIBLY MISSING THE ''EXPLOSION MURDER'' OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

OH IM SO GLAD SOMEONE CAUGHT THAT!!! IM THRILLED SOMEONE CAUGHT IT. 

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Important Asks/Interesting Theories

Beware, this post is filled with spoilers for Zemblanity! Read after you’ve finished the main series, as it’s constructed so that everything makes sense in the end. But if you’re still curious or confused, here’s the guide you need!

Be sure to look at the date of when any of the asks were posted before you send me a new one saying ‘but this isn’t possible because [insert reasoning here]’ especially for the theories. I tried to put a ‘Prior to’ section for all of them but yeahhhhh just check the dates.

So these were originally individual asks on my blog but I got rather lazy to reblog and tag everything (and I’m kind of afraid of hitting the post limit again), so I’ll just type them out here.

Table of Contents so You Don’t Have to Keep Scrolling:

Asks About Zemblanity in Case You Are Confused

Confused about the timelines?

So if TL8 Ten and TL9 Ten merged that means they have the same memories and behaviors? That’s why he remembered to save (Y/N)?

Does jumping from timeline to timeline affect Sector V? For all timelines is there only one Sector V?

So why are (Y/N)’s dreams a thing?

Can you explain the whole TL8 Ten getting sent back to TL9 and everything that resulted?

So why does Kunhang want to drown the system?

So is Yangyang actually in love with (Y/N) or is it just infatuation?

[Not an Ask] Regarding the Dream Sequences in Zemblanity

Interesting Theories About Zemblanity

{Prior to TWN4} Mark Lee is the True Culprit (Personal Favorite of Mine)

{Prior to TIR0} Maybe Yangyang is the best friend in Ch. 4’s dreams…

{Prior to TIR1} Maybe Xiaojun is the best friend in Ch. 4’s dreams…

{Prior to TIR2} Maybe (Y/N) and Ten coming up to the moon in 2004 was a lie?

{Prior to TIR4} Maybe (Y/N)’s dreams aren’t hers and she’s living through someone else’s memories?

{Prior to TIR4} Hendery might have gotten into an accident that involved severe burns…

{Prior to TIR5} Xuxi’s definitely the man in Chapter 2’s dream sequences

{Prior to Chapter 5} Xiaojun knows everything

{Prior to Chapter 5} Xiaojun is the man in the Newton’s Cradle dream

{Prior to TWN5} Hendery definitely has D.I.D.

{Prior to Chapter 6} The Dream Guy in Chapter 5 is Hendery

{Prior to Chapter 6} The Multiple Timeline Theory (Note that many people contributed to these so they may not be consistent)

{Prior to Chapter 7 and TWN6} The Matrix Theory

{Prior to Chapter 7’s Release} Maybe Xiaojun’s the Inmate in TIR6

{Prior to Chapter 8’s Release} The inmate from 2022 (mentioned in TIR6 and TIR8) is Ten

Special Questions

So, what happened to the 2004 Flight Records?

Who was the eighth inmate who killed himself?

Asks About Zemblanity in case you are confused

Confused about the timelines?

Q: Hi, i hope you get this question because it's the first time I'm asking something on Tumblr (I've been here for like a month or so 😅). And I hope I don't annoy with this question or maybe someone asked this already but what about the TL6? Chapter 8 honestly got me so confused that I locked up who belongs to which Timeline and I think we got like 9? TL1-5 is Kun, Xuxi, Xiaojun, Sicheng, Hendery. TL7 is Yangyang and TL8&9 is Ten because they got merged??

A: Hi there!! Welcome to tumblr! I’m honored to be your first ask, love ❤️ Also, fear not, asks never annoy me, I’m actually quite fond of them, because if one person is a bit confused, chances are others are too. Plus, I love to hear from my readers! No one has asked yet, so I don’t mind answering your question! To break it down, the timelines are as follows:

TL1 - Kun TL2 - Xuxi TL3 - Xiaojun TL4 - Sicheng TL5 - Guanheng (Hendery/Kunhang) TL6 - Ten (inmate Ten from TL8) TL7 - Yangyang TL8 - The events prior to Zemblanity, Sector V is established, all 7 members of WayV are inmates. Ten has memories from both TL6 and TL8 TL9 - Main Zemblanity timeline. TL8 Ten is sent back in time within the Warden’s lifespan and merges with TL9 Ten as a result, he loses his memories and starts life again from the age 8 and retains memories from TL9 Ten up to that point.

So technically Ten has been through three timelines (6, 8, 9) Good for him.

So if TL8 Ten and TL9 Ten merged that means they have the same memories and behaviors? That’s why he remembered to save (Y/N)?

Q: question questiooon hehe did tl8 ten and tl9 ten merged?? Like their memories and behavior?? Thats why he remembered to save (y/n) and yet has a different behavior?

A: Yeah basically.

When the Warden sent Ten back during his (the Warden’s) lifetime, Ten ended up replacing TL9’s Ten, or merging, as you called it. Luckily due to Ten’s lack of memories of TL8 it wasn’t a horrible merge, and it allowed him to grow up completely differently than he did in TL8. I’d say that he just wanted to save (Y/N) cuz bestie things, but maybe there was a hidden subconscious feeling of “I must protect this girl with my life”

I could be wrong, but I think I once mentioned how (Y/N) felt that Ten was rather overprotective of her.

Does jumping from timeline to timeline affect Sector V? For all timelines is there only one Sector V?

Q: another question hehe so jumping from timeline to timeline and changing things doesnt affect sector v?? Like for all timelines there is only 1 sector v?? As in it merges all timelines??

A: [I kind of worded this one weirdly in the original post, so let me rewrite it a little] 

How I wrote it in my outline, verbatim, is “Due to Sector V being a locating where neither time nor reality follow their set laws, it remains independent of the other timelines, this allows people of other timelines to be able to walk amongst each other without dire consequence. Although it may sometimes pick up on rifts within the timelines closest to it.”

Amendment: So basically it is entirely possible for another to exist, as long as their timelines aren’t right next to each other (as in there aren’t too many major events, or even small choices that overlap or are similar within both timelines).

Amendment: But when someone, in this case Ten, who is closely linked to the Sector is purposely messing with people who are associated with it (since he was jumping into timelines the inmates were in), this causes the rifts in the Sector.

So why are (Y/N)’s dreams a thing?

Q: OH. so the dreams y/n got while inside the sector were caused by ten jumping thru the timelines??? i guess that would explain why the very last ones she had were of ten in that dark ass room..... but now i cant stop thinking abt how yangyang keeps trying to kill xiaojun because he probably did kill his timeline's xiaojun and now i wanna know yy's story

A: I originally answered this one prior to the story being finished, so allow me to amend this one too.

Yup yup! Our boy royally FUCKED up the timelines.

Amendment: I based this off of the old saying that Dreams are windows to other versions of ourselves, past, present, future, other dimensions, etc. Basically, Ten was trying to merge the timelines enough to get into one of these dreams to communicate with (Y/N), but by the time he succeeded he ended up ripping the fabric of time enough so that (Y/N) was able to talk to the other inmates long before she even got trapped in the Sector.

Also, since this ask spoke about the dreams, the dreams are direct reflections of that inmate’s state of mind. Do with that what you will.

Can you explain the whole TL8 Ten getting sent back to TL9 and everything that resulted?

Q: my brain hurts 🤠 so serial killer ten was sent back in time (and to another timeline?) and had his memories erased... and then he jumped thru timelines to get back to a time before y/n died.... so he can help y/n get out..... 🤠 i'll just go listen to domino on repeat call me when yall are done killing poor y/n HSNSJSJ

A: Time is such a kunfusing kuncept (😀) but that’s pretty much it yeah. If you want the full thing…

So Ten was sent back in time, however in order to keep some events of the timeline (in this case the Sector, the Station, etc.) the Warden sent him back to a time during his lifetime and due to some timey wimey bull shit this not only caused Ten to lose his memories but also caused him to become significantly younger. Hence why he and (Y/N) have memories of them being younger, because they actually did grow up together. 

Later in the story, Ten did travel to six different timelines, all in order to establish that side effect connection that results from fucking with the timelines to get in contact with (Y/N), all of which were both unsuccessful and resulted in (Y/N) being linked to the inmates instead (hence the dreams). The original plan was for him to establish a stable connection with (Y/N) since the server in the Sector is blocked and nearly impossible to get into from the outside and tell her how to get out from there, but we all saw how that ended up 🙃

So why does Kunhang want to drown the system?

Q: “So it’s safe to say that it is this alter who I see trying to drown the body.” IM SCREAMING- WHO IS TRYING TO DO W H A T?! OOOH. WOW. I-

A: The definition of a persecutor, to put it in simple terms, is a “misguided protector.” They typically hold the more traumatic memories of the body that the other alters or the host don’t. Often times the persecutors see it as it’s them against the system (in this case Kunhang against the other alters), and they see things as “oh, the abuser can’t do this to me if I do it myself” then it gets worse from there. Often times they punish the body (and by extension the other alters) by making them relive the trauma. (Note that it’s very rare for Persecutors to take their anger out on other people, it happens, but it’s rare, often times the rage is turned against the system)

So knowing that it’s Kunhang who forces the body to drown…. do with that what you may.

Amendment: In greater context of the story it’s explained in his ending that he was kidnapped and held for ransom by the rivaling kingdom and upon his return it was discovered that he developed DID while in captivity.

Of course through therapy they can be taught that what they’re doing is wrong, which is what we see through Kunhang present day. But yeahhhhhhh

Poor Guanheng :(

So is Yangyang actually in love with (Y/N) or is it just infatuation?

Q: So is Yangyang actually in love with her or is it just infatuation? Ik you said you've changed it a lot but still,,, also the way the only named connections towards Yangyang are "avoid at all costs", "weirded out", and "doesn't want to die" is both scary and amusing

A: When I first drafted Zemblanity (yes there is a first draft that you guys will likely never see) it was pure, unabashed infatuation. In the first draft I actually planned for each inmate to have a certain type of complex (god complex, father complex, etc.) but I figured the topic was both too information loaded and delicate to write about accurately in a fanfiction (I’m already juggling enough with the mental disorders, I’m planning to minor in psychology so I’ve taken a few of the classes before, so I luckily have notes from there I can turn to, all I need is some brushing up) Yangyang’s complex involved him seeking the need for stability, so at the time it was indeed just pure infatuation with no feelings of actual love.

Now it’s a bit different, I can’t give you the full answer for obvious reasons, but I will say he does feel genuine love for (Y/N), and so do the rest of the inmates, there are a few things attached to that genuine love though, but then again who doesn’t have some strings attached. The only thing that separates love from infatuation are those extra things hanging on to the feelings, after all.

Amendment: So now that the series is over, I can explain in full detail. Basically it’s some form of guilt that Yangyang felt, which is explained in his ending. And it was also the need to get closure for how she died, a mix of both. His mental state has already been in disarray, so when (Y/N) showed up at the Sector I think it’s safe to say it wholly broke. And it became something of “I knew she was still alive.”

Also yeah that’s what happens when you’re tipsy and story boarding at the same time, you come up with interesting character relationships lol 😂

[Not an Ask] Regarding the Dream Sequences in Zemblanity

One would do well to distinguish which dream sequences happen real time and which ones happened in the past. In this case I’ll spell it out easy peasy, each dream sequence that is happening real time is linked by one deciding factor: Ten. Often times he’s in the background and is described as trying to tell (Y/N) something important, but she can’t understand him.

Otherwise, the dream sequence happened in the past with exception of Kun’s dream sequences in Chapter 1, which happened real time.

Interesting Theories About Zemblanity

{Prior to TWN4} Mark Lee is the True Culprit (Personal Favorite of Mine)

Theory: Okay so like I know we're all tossing out Zemblanity theories but like consider this: Who was the one who was in charge of all the years? Who else do we know has access to a computer? Who else is associated to (Y/N). That's right. Mark Lee.

Response: THE WAY I CACKLED WHEN I READ THIS

That’s it. Anon figured it out. I gotta rewrite all of Zemblanity now

I’m joking of course but this is TOO FUCKING FUNNY I 😂😂 YOU GUYS ARE SO CREATUVE

Was it Correct? As expected, no.

{Prior to TIR0} Maybe Yangyang is the best friend in Ch. 4’s dreams…

T: Lmaoo my theory is that YangYang was the best friend and whoever he murdered was the boyfriend of y/n. Hes severely mentally unstable so thats possibly why he is projecting the image of that person onto Xiaojun and why he hates him so much. Thats why he knows so much about y/n and why he had her locket.... he was also quite abusive to y/n. Maybe she had her memories of him erased somehow but he feels she abandoned him personally and thats why he tied her up??? Hmmm. Just a theory though

R: But that’s just a theory! A Zemblanity theory! Thanks for reading!

God I hope at least some of y’all get the reference

I will say, you’re not too far off the mark, but you’re not 100% there either. 👀

WIC? Not completely. They did get Yangyang being the best friend correct and that he murdered (Y/N)’s toxic boyfriend (who just happened to be Xiaojun). But that’s about it, and I applaud you on getting that close!

{Prior to TIR1} Maybe Xiaojun is the best friend in Ch. 4’s dreams…

T: OKAY HEAR ME OUT: I think is the case as to why Xiaojun and Yang² hate each other (apart from the theories I left under chp 4). I really think that Xiaojun was actually her best friend and that he helped her out of her relationship with Yang²... and I think Yang² said "he hurt her" cause hes lowkey delusional? And psychotic so he thinks everyone's put to get him. As for Ten, he needed to be her best friend since Xiaojun is an inmate WHICH IS WHY THERES NO RECORDS OF THE DAY SHE CAME TO THE MOON

R: Interesting theory, but like the others, not too far off the mark, but not quite there. Also the lack of records of the day she went to the moon, there’s a reason, but that’s not quite the reason, ahhh that’s confusing but it’s the only way I can say it without revealing too much.

Hint: Look back at the Warden’s Notes, I usually drop spoilers in them on accident and I just forget to delete it

WIC? Ah, Vicky, Vicky, Vicky, you’re gonna give me a run for my money some day. You were SO close I got scared, haha. But, sadly, incorrect. Yangyang was the best friend and Xiaojun was the toxic boyfriend. As for the records part, I thought I left enough evidence for y’all to figure out, but I suppose not.

{Prior to TIR2} Maybe (Y/N) and Ten coming up to the moon in 2004 was a lie?

T: maybe y/n and ten being brought to the moon when they were very little was a lie and thats why the records for 2004 arent there 🤡 im just a simple dumbass i'll just wait until someone smarter puts together a sound theory HSNSKS ALSO ALSO ateez concepts are always so cool i 😔🥺 always my faves

R: Awww but you’re plenty smart, love 🥺 the fact that you can put together even the smallest theory is amazing!!!

But I acknowledge your theory and will put it up like the rest ❤️

WIC? Sadly, no. And I think I should just say it at this point and ruin the spoiler but hmm... I’ll put it at the end, how about that?

{Prior to TIR4} Maybe (Y/N)’s dreams aren’t hers and she’s living through someone else’s memories?

T: WAIT CRYS- WAIIIIT WAIIIIIT WAIIIIT.... okay okay okay are the dreams or memories that appear in the chapters uniquely Yn's? 👁👄👁 (please donr make me feel like a clown cause 😣✌🏾). This is me b4 you answer my last ask BUT what if the memories arent... hers.... what if most of the inmates had girlfriends and for those who committed murder, it was linked to the s/o..? Since Kun has OCD it would explain some questionable and almost controlling behaviour towards a lover and same applies to Yang². Just a thought. A far fetched thought that doesnt make sense (not to add but if Xuxi had a lover, kidnapping would apply to the s/o or another party 👀) ✌🏾... so uh again just a thought... the memories arent... lets say consistent(?). Lkke in one of them, shes a secretary, in the other shes a teacher... okay I'm really gonna go with the theory I had. What if the dreams arent hers? Let's remember she and Ten dont have recollecting of coming to the Moon... and in that one Wardens Note Ten was shocked about info he learned at the end... I'm lost lmao. The memories arent hers, in each chapter theres a memory that may(be) include a character which is why the person is never mentioned. Another thing is that in some of the memories, she explicitly says that she has no control over what shes saying or doing which means that they happened in the past and since she has no recollection of them happening, theres a strong chance that shes experiencing it for the first time... which means that she is experiencing the dream through the original person 🤡

R: I had such half assed responses to these so lets just not type those out--

WIC? No, but also a little. The concept is there, but not really. But you were on the right track with Kun and Yangyang. But this did come out before we established that multiple timelines are a thing in Zemblanity, so I liked where you were going with this one! Technically, the memories aren’t hers, but at the same time they are.

{Prior to TIR4} Hendery might have gotten into an accident that involved severe burns…

T: Actually, I think Hendery got in a severe accident that involved 1st degree burns... and I read somewhere that if you get burned that you should put the wound underwater for 20 mins or waiting for paramedics (I'm waiting til you debunk this hehe) sO then baby was burned and since they in space... you know- gravity! And then since gravity is there, he needs to stay underwater so that he doesnt die cause of his burns 🤠

R: I mean, yes? Like medically yeah it’s best to put burns underwater as soon as you can (cold water preferably) but imagine having to stay underwater for 16 hours for a burn?I like it.HENDERY SWEETIE TOUCH THE STOVE-

WIC? Nah.

{Prior to TIR5} Xuxi’s definitely the man in Chapter 2’s dream sequences

T: OKAY SO LIKE- I'm positive of one of two things, the second chapter dream is (Y/n) and Xuxi cause in the interrogation room part 4, he mentioned how his wife is clumsy and that they havent been married for long and in that memory, the invisible person said how (Y/n) was clumsy and she mentioned how they were waiting to start a family which is a hint that they're married. So I'm pretty sure (watch me be wrong) that Xuxi was the invisible person in Chapter 2 illuding to yn being his wife now ----- but now wouldnt that mean that (Y/n)'s dead since she killed herself? Now listen, we all remember that theory of it being multiple versions of her being with all the inmates right? Well let's say that that theory is true, we basically have some sort of evidence illuding to that. Both versions so far of the wife/girlfriend has died and if it's all those timelines crashed together, itll make sense as to why they all know her (one way or another)... 👁👄👁

R: Ooooh interesting, alright how about the other dreams now 😗 I’m interested in this theory, That is also true, according to the basic logic of the multiple lives/timelines theory

But is it what’s happening in Zemblanity?😗

WIC? Yup. I actually never intended for the dreams to be purposely hidden, like literally the dreams subjects are who’s featured in the chapter HAHA but yeah. The only thing off about the theory is the last part tbh.

{Prior to Chapter 5} Xiaojun knows everything

T: Okay so the girl always dies and there has to be something about her that warrants that. Xiaojun said he knows/remembers more than the other inmates so that could be what he is holding back from the warden.. Maybe he knows the reason why? Maybe he has some other information? All I know is, from what we've learned, Xiaojun really did do "what he had to do" and there has to be some other thing he did that would have warranted him going to Sector V because that can't be it.

R: Maybe so 😗

But that will be revealed with time

WIC? Xiaojun does know what happened in the last timeline, so whatever he learned back there transferred over. So yeah, kind of

{Prior to Chapter 6} The Dream Guy in Chapter 5 is Hendery

T: the dream guy in chapter 5 is hendery cuz the dreams seem royal-ish and the guy gave me “prince” feels and technically hendery’s a prince so yeah. and he said his true self will be hiding behind a facade and hendery seems like he has a split personality. so basically he got his new personality by repressing memories of (y/n) (he was the only one who seem to not know (y/n) when they met). and also the way the “king/prince” said “Don’t.” (tea scenario) and hendery said “Don’t” gave me chills

R: Nice catch 😏 I’ll admit you’re on the same path as many other readers, very good 👍

WIC? Yuuup.

{Prior to Chapter 6} The Multiple Timeline Theory (Note that many people contributed to these so they may not be consistent)

T1: So like my theory is that the boys had met (y/n) in different timelines?? Like for example Kun is timeline 1, and (y/n) had died there??? — jongin smth. And theen on her next time line— she met lucas idk its smth like reincarnation or just like because sector v has a unique time and reality. Like they all lived in different realities but sector v connects all of those realities— in which (y/n) was also in. And another theory (since best friend and boyfriend conflict goes on throughout the previous chapters) each wayv member is like the bestfriend or boyfriend of (y/n) each timeline— like ten in this present timeline Buuuut i cant explain why yangyang is the one on 7th timeline whilst ten was currently the one (y/n) knows personally

Add on: I was reading anons theory and I was thinking the same thing. Because time is different In the sector that allows them to be in the same timeline. (Think ATEEZ new concept where they all knew each other but got separated, but are coming together again.) This would also explain all of the different voices that Y/N hears and how in the warden noted that Ten is starting to piece things together.

R: (½) I said this in the previous post but I actually really like this theory, it’s a very interesting take on what’s going on. Posting this one first so it appears below the first part!! Ooooh this one’s different from the ones I’ve read so far, I like where you’re going with this one anon, props to you for cutting from a different fabric!

Ooooh and the theory deepens, you guys are so creative I love it 🥰

WIC? Not far off the mark, but not a bullseye.

{Prior to Chapter 8’s Release} The inmate from 2022 (mentioned in TIR6 and TIR8) is Ten

T1: So I wanted to write it in the comments but I have an idea and wanted to write "directly" (I also don't use ask option a lot so also It will be multiple part so sorry 🥺🙏) I got a sudden idea while looking at the dates of the newest interrogation room and the dates of when the Inmates were brought to Sector V and... I think I got something... Kun, who was the first one to come to sector V, first came in February but the Interrogation takes place in January and a whole ass moth before it. 

So I came to a sudden realization that there was a 7th Inmate who allegedly killed himself. And then my mind made a connection to Ten who in the MV and promotion shots was shown to have the same V tattoo as the others. Could it be that Ten was the original Inmate? It would kinda add up i think. Like there is a possibility that The Warden (our Father) was fed up with him and killed him but filed it in reports as a suicide. 

It could be that it isn't our Ten because if my Multiverse Theory is right that would open a lot of possibilities. It could be a wierd coincidence to have two Ten's in the same Building (not that I'm complaining) so it could be less likely. But I have two versions of the theory. The second being that neither Ten or we have a recollection of how and why we were brought to the moon station. Which in on itself is pretty fishy. But to assume for a second that Ten was convinced of Murder... 

And maybe he was tortured to the point of amnesia and/or memory loss and then tossed out of the Sector with some false memories but somewhere in his head he “remembers” (something like deja vu) about what happened “last time” and when she wants to meet the others he tries to prevent it. 

Underneath there, somewhere in his mind he knows what he did wrong and tries to prevent it from happening again. He knows that whatever happened to us can happen again if we meet the others. Or we are all in a loop and Ten is like Sans from Undertale and knows it all and has godlike powers. Idk mate it's 1 Am in Germany and I'm basically sleeping at this point. But remember it's just a theory. A Zembalty Theory. (hopefully I wrote it right) also sorry for spamming your inbox 🙏🥺Love you

R: Yessssss, also I like this theory, more answers will be revealed soon. 

That is true 👀 But if I recall correctly, I believe it was the eighth inmate that offend himself 🤔 but it is an interesting theory, I’ll give you that. 

I have grown very fond of the multiverse theory, there’s a lot of space for it to grow. But as for your second theory it would tie in the missing files from both 2004 and 2019 😗

WIC? Ten was, indeed, the original inmate. Also I did allude to their being a “time loop” of sorts in much of Xiaojun’s parts.

T2: Theory time hehehe The inmate from 2022 was actually Ten- and he was bargaining with (y/n)’s father (who i assumed did not die in the original timeline) for smth (like he requested Ten to go back in time since he mentioned that Ten figured out a way to travel through time) *i connected the time paradox here wherein one goes back in time so things change in the future. 

But then Ten betrayed the previous warden and killed him (past of warden)— thats why his death is still a mystery—- and this leads to the current timeline where Ten becomes the warden instead of (y/n)’s father living up till 2022— and this also leads to Ten not knowing what he did on the other “future” and probably not being a criminal— (but that would also mean the deal wont happen right? Idk anymore)

and probably the old warden requested him to go back to 2004??? “As long as you refrain from killing anyone else, you should be fine, I’m sure you’ll remember at least that much.” Also take note of this— its like if Ten* refrains from killinganyone else from the past then he’ll remember atleast some parts of their deal when the future changes

So ye this is me trying to understand the masterpiece called Zemblanity. Kudos to you for making my brain active during quarantine 🥰

oof i forgot a detail —- thats why Ten (as (y/n)’s bestfriend and warden) doubts if he could even trust himself— and why his populace records is a mystery to (y/n) Anyways thank you for taking your time to read these! 🥰☺️

R: Now this is a theory I enjoy! Very well thought out, but I must say, although it hasn’t been explicitly stated I assume is implicitly understood, the Warden has some control over the timelines considering that each inmate is, theoretically, from a different timeline. For Ten to be able to do it, assuming he is the unknown inmate, he would have to have already gained the status of Warden, which is impossible considering that the old Warden is still alive.

Ah yes, a classic time paradox, we certainly love those, don’t we? If only we were at that part in Zemblanity where the rules of Time were strictly laid out, but alas, we are not. So for now we will settle for this paradox that if Ten was thrown back in time and killed the Warden, the conversation will never have taken place, and Ten would have never, theoretically, been sent back in time.But then again if the Warden wasn’t killed and the conversation did take place, that would establish an entire time loop, wouldn’t it? Just Ten constantly going back to 2004 and reliving everything only to be sent back again, and again, I wonder what needs to be done differently, hmm…

This is a possibility, and I was going to mention it in the (2) of this ask, but I actually found that it would make more sense to put it in here. If Ten was, theoretically, sent back in time, how would you explain (Y/N) and Ten having memories of when they were toddlers? Assuming you’re intending that if Ten was sent back in time he’d still be a full age adult.

It’s no problem, I’m trying my best to keep your minds sharp while we all spend our days in our homes hehe… Ohhh and thank you! I’m so glad you enjoy my little (okay actually huge) story of Zemblanity!!!

This is a theory I like a lot, I can tell you put a lot of thought into it! But it would explain why there are some lapses in Ten’s judgment as to who he can trust, and it would also explain why (Y/N) had to search up Ten’s name in her Records database

WIC? Actually, this is probably the closest one to the truth anyone has ever gotten. Props to you, anon!

T3: Did they agree to have Ten stay out of it so he was there to protect YN since none of them could do it cause they clingy af and would of started a war and killed each other 👀🙊 and cause they mental health is deteriorating more and more in the Sector they willing to throw Ten out the way to get her back 🤔🤔🤔

AAAAAAALSO!!!!! Rereading the Warden Notes, there was mentioned of 8 inmates but the 8th killed himself so it was decided to be maxed out at 7.......who be the 7th inmate..... I swear tf if I'm right about Ten imma be needing at least 4 bottles of wine to cope, however if I'm wrong! I'm still gonna need them 🙊 (I'm so sorry, these were all EUREKA moments.....i didn't mean to spam)

R: Ooh I like this one, but I do have to say why Ten? But if this is true, I’d argue that either Kun or Hendery could’ve done it too, Kun’s a patient character and Hendery’s pretty chill. Plus according to the story line Ten and (Y/N) came when they were toddlers and both have memories of such, hmm…. 🤔

FOUR BOTTLES AHAHAHAHA. Also noooo I don’t mind spam at all, love, so don’t worry ❤️ But yes I do acknowledge that I wrote that the Sector is maxed out at 7 but I will also say that it doesn’t necessarily mean that there were seven at the start of the story 👀

WIC? Sadly, no :(

Special Questions

So... what happened to the 2004 Flight Records?

To put it simply, the Warden (Park Hyunjun) destroyed them. The Sector works in strange ways, as seen when the tapes from TL8 transferred over to TL9 for (Y/N) to see them. This is a special power of the Warden, the ability to allow items to transcend different timelines, which is only possible in Sector V (due to it’s independence of most of the rules of time). During his final negotiation with TL8 Ten, prior to sending him back in time to prevent the total destruction of the moon colony, he implies that he’d leave everything in place for the paradox item to find it’s way to Ten, and he’d keep him under watch.

However, Ten didn’t come to the moon in 2004. Now this is on me, I never explicitly said it, only left clues for it to be found. The records were damaged, but why? Every inmate has access to the Records room, but none have an incentive to destroy it, except for the one person it would apply to, in this case Ten. The Warden is implied to have special abilities in the Moon Colony, usually to prioritize the greater good of the Colony (i.e. calling the shots for executions, destroying cards, withholding evidence, etc.)

Now, TL9 Ten couldn’t have destroyed the records, why would he? But, I’ve mentioned on occassion that Ten was “always at war with himself” and, I quote from Ch. 1, “Sometimes [he has] to remind [himself] that [he’s] the Warden.”

There isn’t significant evidence that Ten wasn’t on that flight, but on the other hand there isn’t evidence that he was. All we have to go off of is the damaged flight records and what the Warden said in his tapes prior to being killed.

Do with that what you may.

Who was the eighth inmate who killed himself?

Sadly, no one actually important to the main story. He was just there so I can establish why there were only six inmates in the Sector at the beginning of Zemblanity, and why Ten was able to get convicted in there after the fact.

What about 2019′s records?

That was just a way to throw you all off, haha, it seemed like it worked. I never said that there weren’t any 2019 records, they were just tampered with and Mark had to reenter them, and I’ve long established that their Supervisor tends to make them work more since he’s that shitty a person.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 1:First Life of Many

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔

Pairing Hitoshi Shinsou x Reader!

Genre: Angst

Tag: @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel....but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

The bus finally pulls up breaking the tension between you and Hitoshi you let out a sigh of relief as the doors to the bus opens.

You both step onto the bus and try to find a seat, Hitoshi nudges your arm gentle "Hey you wanna sit in the back?"

You don't respond to him....I mean how could you with that stupid question you asked him still looming over you like a vengefulspirit. "Maybe I should've stayed quiet" "Did I say to much?" "H-how much did I say?!" .

Your mind begins to think of the worst possible scenarios but then you snap out of it as you feel something warm cover your hand.

It's Hitoshi's holding your hand as he takes you to the open two seater in the back.

Y/n suddenly feels her face heat up as her cheeks blush red this feeling is something that can happen only once in a life time so....you enjoy this short tiny bit of contact like it was your last.

Shinsou hold out his hand giving you access to the seat next to the window "Here you go I know you like sitting next to the window so-" he stares at you and notices your blush and can't help but to do the same.

Seeing you look up at him with genuine happiness makes his chest feel warm and his throat tighten.

"Thanks Hitoshi...". Y/n sits down and scoots over to the window while Shinsou sits down next to you.

Shinsou takes out his headphones once again and puts them on resuming his paused music however before he puts his phone away he receives a text from Izuku Midoriya.

" Hm? What does Midoriya want?"

The Promblem Child🥦

Izuku: Hey Toshiiii~😜

Shinsou: ......kaminari why the fuck do you have Izuku's phone......

Izuku: MY PHONE DIED🥀😪 so I swiped Midoriya's phone while him and Bakugo are arguing in the living cuz bakugo sucks a uno and his sweaty hands are fucking up the cards but they not important rn

Shinsou: ok so what do you want with me

Izuku: Me and and guys are gonna go bowling tomorrow and we wanted to see if you wanted to come 🥺

Shinsou: I don't know I'm kinda busy after school🤷‍♂️sooooo....

Izuku: COME ON YOU GOTTA GO YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHUTDOWN BAKUGO'S YELLING

Shinsou: Sounds like I'm baby sitting 😑

Izuku: YOU WON'T BE! YOU CAN BRING Y/N IF YOU WANT SO YOU WON'T BE COMPLETELY ALONE PLEASE ANAJHSHSHAJJS

Shinsou: Ok! Ok I'll go but I'll have to ask y/n about what she thinks

Izuku: I KNEW YOU WOULD COME AROUND TOSHI!

Shinsou: Dumbass go put your phone in your mouth you doofus🥱😴

Izuku: I-

Shinsou turns off his and focuses his attention towards you as your head is resting on his shoulder. Shinsou tries his hardest not to ruin the moment so he obviously he stupidly asks " Y-you wanna...hold hands again? I'm getting cold over here".

You normally brush off Hitoshi's stupid flirting because he sucks at it but hearing that he wants your warmth....he need your warmth...Hitoshi needs you.

You and Hitoshi locks hands together both completely quiet but internally freaking out.

Shinsou's brain starts going into overload as he starts think about every romantic movie and think about how they would fuck up a situation like this "Oh no she's really close shit! SHIT DOES MY BREATH STINK?! I DON'T KNOW! BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO FIND OUT,DAMMIT HOLD YOUR BREATH!" Shinsou does just that but you see him oddly do this.

Then you start thinking,"He's holding his breath? Why...did he sniff me...DO I STINK OH GOD I HOPE I DON'T IM SORRY HITOSHI!!!".

The bus hits a speed bump to causing all the seats to jump and it cause the two dummy's to bump heads.

"OW! DAMMIT! Hey are you ok?" You both say in unison then there is a short pause before the both of you burst out laughing.

"We're both so stupid haha!".

"Nah were not stupid great minds think alike " Hitoshi snickers.

You lean in closer to Shinsou as you poke the bump he got on his forehead from crashing into you " OW! HEY!" "That's what you get".

Sometime passes and the bus finally reaches the home bus stop in front of your house. Hitoshi and you get off watching it leave. "Hey Y/n are you busy tomorrow?"

"Umm no actually I'm free why you wanna hang out?"

Hitoshi beams as he scratches the back of his head just then a creepy smile form's on his face " Oh that great! Denki invited me to go out bowling and I wanted to bring what bakugo would call an extra"

You playful punch Hitoshi in the arm " Hey! Don't call me an extra! Ohhhh I swear I'll go feral on Katskui!"

"Oh I know you will... you always do but before you go in I wanna ask are you really ok...?"

Once again you ignore his question he notices and sighs "Y/n i won't use my quirk to make you talk....i promise ...".

Y/n stops smiling as she turns her back on Shinsou walking to the door.

"H-hey did you hear me y/n come on talk to me what wrong?", " I'm really glad I got to meet you Hitoshi Shinso.....You're such an amazing guy and... I just-."

And with that the tears began to fall down your face you look back at Hitoshi to see he's completely shaken up bye your sudden rush of sadness.

" Everything you've done for me there no way words can describe how happy I've been being friends with you and how much you left a impact on me"

Shinsou stops her " what up with all this crazy talk y/n? why are you acting like one you walk through that door I won't see you again?"

You think it would be better then wasting away until you day in 9 days then maybe your heart wouldn't be hurting so much like it is now, hell this pain feels like it's hurts more than the pain the quirk will bring.

Hitoshi brings you into his arm embracing your body in hug. "I promise you that we will be together always and besides-...."

"We got all the time in the world"

Hearing that one line....it finally sinks in that y/n is gonna die...so she does the only thing she can.

You clench Hitoshi uniform as you bury your head in his shoulder and began to breakdown in Shinsou arms. "Y/n?! Hey hey don't cry it'll be ok"

You scream and beg Hitoshi not to leave " You can't leave please don't! I don't wanna lose you Shisou!". "Woah woah lose me? Y-you're not gonna lose me...let's go to my house and clean you up I don't want you parents to see you like this".

Hitoshi takes you to his house right across the street. He quickly opens the door and sits you on the couch "I'll be right back just stay here ok", you nod and Shinsou leaves.

"I don't wanna bring Hitoshi into this and get him all worked up because of me he does so much for me as it is...you know what I mean right?" Shinsou's just meows back at you.

"Of course you get it Kabuki...Hitoshi is always taking care of both of us" you say while petting Kabuki. "I guess liking Shinsou isn't the only thing we have in common huh...".

A few minutes go by and Hitoshi is sitting on the couch wiping your face "Hitoshi come on I know how to whip my own face!". " If you stop moving MAYBE me can get this done quicker!".

Shinsou sighs and lays back on the couch "There now you're all clean up, you're welcome". You lay ontop of Shinsou patting his chest "Looks like the day is saved thanks to pro hero Mind Freak~". He pushes your face smushing it with is hand.

" Ew I told you I'm not calling myself myself mind freak!"

" IT'S COOL!"

" IT'S SCARY! IM TO TRYING HELP PEOPLE NOT TO SCARE THEM OFF" "We'll I'm here and I'm not scared of out you!".

Hitoshi softly puts his hand on your cheek "what I said out there wasn't a lie, Y/N I'm here if you need me...every step of the way...."

You hold Hitoshi hand as your hearing starts to diminish and your body begins to fell light that you begin to wobble and sway back and forth.

"Yeah.....we got all the time in the world...."

Y/n suddenly fall sideways onto the floor lying there motions while Hitoshi eyes widen as he screams " Y/N!!!!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔 As the the first day has come to an end so has 1 of the many lives. And so far Y/n has lost her first life.....🥀

[mongoosejpeg]

Random concepts my brain comes up with (or just random things I think of)

I tried to avoid angst (and u!sides) but....I came up with a lot of angst (i think?)....ajdhdh sorryyyyyy

Also....dont question anything pls....im very sleep deprived and dont know anything and dont take anything to seriously

Also....theres very bad english in here so...yeah....

Warning: uh....might be u!sides.....idk ajshxh...itll be in the tags tho

Logan will quote a different school house rock song, everyday, to Virgil

Patton takes Romans sash and puts it around his forehead/waist cuz hes a pirate

Virgil steals Janus' cape and will be an airplane and everytime he passes a side he will say nyooommm

Roman will take Virgils makeup (who has a lot of different colors) and do the other sides makeup

Remus will take Logans glasses and wear them wrong on purpose cuz he knows it annoys Logan

Logan and Deceit don't do anything or take anything cuz theyre the parents™

Its legit canon that they have their own phones......Virgil has a lavender phone case, Logan has a gold case, Roman has a golden phone case, Patton has a red phone case (i think)

Everyday Virgil will give Patton a stone with a tiny piece of paper telling the meaning at the same time...everyday. virgil does this cuz 1. he has too many 2. it gives him smth to do and gets him to be a tiny bit productive

Janus has a bunch of plants a l o t o f p l a n t s like....almost an excessive amount

Dukexiety/tangled au.....repunzal as Virgil and flynn as remus (idk)

Logan t poses almost all the time

The way to tell Patton and Janus apart is that janus knows how babies are made (messenger falcons) and Patton does not

Virgil likes pasta with no sauce (pathta wif nu thathe) (if ya get the reference....good job)

Virgil has yet to have a debate with Patton, Janus and Remus

Every time there is a new disney movie roman will just be...*flappy hands* for like.....a good half hour before actually watching it

The mind vs. the heart is just an old married couple™ fight

"Oh ofc. i never wanted you to feel like you couldnt" like.....the way patton says it....sounds like a mix of Deceits voice and Pattons voice

Anytime the other sides/Thomas has a problem, Logan will dress up as Sherlock...and patton (no matter where he is) will pop up as Watson and the little arguement will happen everytime

Rhythm Redux has hints of Mandy goes to med school

Virgil is pretty short....not by much but still one of the shortest side. When his anxiety heightens, he grows taller for x hours. Then when he calms down, he goes back to his normal height

Remus would practice forbidden fruit all the time, so that when he and Thomas finally met, he wouldnt mess up (cuz ew...who wants tk mess up on their own song?). Sometimes he would scream it, especially when Virgil was around

In moving on pt.1 virgil said "no" and then his hand flew up to cover his mouth...which was deceit

Janus with a flower crown around his hat

Janus has a snek in his hat and its never ending...like a mandelbrot fractal

Logan info dumps about space and Janus is the only one who actually, truly listens

Are there healthy distractions has more analogical....

Logan will carry around a notebook and pen/pencil at all times....especially for Virgil...like...when he gets a panic or anxiety attack...logan will give him the notebook so he doesnt have to talk

Janus has several different bowler hats and the other sides (besides logan and maybe patton?) will steal all of them and hide them

Logan and Roman will watch movies together, purely to rewrite it....virgils there to have a disney debate with Roman

When Thomas gets really anxious, virgil will kick down a door and go through a window, feet first

they are their own villians

whats virgils, janus' and remus' biggest fears? Logan

All of the sides have/need glasses but Logan and Patton are the only ones who actually...wear them...obviously

For virgils birthday, Logan got Virgil a puzzle book (or Christmas)

Virgil met his new years resolution (like...he got it done)

*has to watch beauty and the beast for this one* technically....beauty and the beast isnt Stockholm Syndrom......belle traded herself so her father could be free....the beast never took maurice....he wondered into the castle by himself and got...captured....sooo technically...idk where im going with this ajsjxh

Virgil has a crap ton of funko pops

Everytime Patton goes into Virgils room, he'll come out scared of the curtains

When Roman said "you are nothing compared to the others" and his hand went over his mouth....was that deceit? like....him not wanting Thomas to even know about him or remus yet..or orange side?

"Im not evil" foreshadowing for remus

Patton can yell "i will physically fight you" as loud as logan can yell "falsehood"

Virgil is a Ravenclaw (i think we all knew this tho ajsjdh)

When Logan actually shows sadness (the like....one time he did) the other sides will give him validation (telling him hes right, he cool etc.) and just...give him love (they will also do this with the other sides too)

Logan will pop up and ask Thomas about the picture with circles that is hanging above Thomas's (?) couch.

Logan has yet to actually solve a problem by himself...... hes either used information they already knew, or needed/used the others help (sorry)

Virgils the only one Logans said "sorry" to....he usually says "apologies"

The dark sides have pan(heh) pancake and pillow fights (the darks sides....remus and Virgil and janus just stands there until something gets thrown at him....then he joins)

Every year for their birthday, Roman and Logan will always get a jar (or more) of crofters

Every time Logan has crofters (like...pb&j or toast or smth idkkkkk) he'll keep making puns for an hour straight (gay)

Virgil watched dhmis and got weirded out for like....a week

When Janus is around, Patton and Roman will make a bunch of snake puns and janus will stand there like :|

Logan is allergic to anything "sweet" like....butterfingers

Did....did you guys know...that the cast of sander sides....is...Thomas sanders....i just learned that....thats...crazy wow....when were you guys gonna tell me? (fun fact.....every fricken time thomas yawned in dwit....i yawned)

Virgil researches architecture or like.....studies it?

Remus and/or Janus is/are (?) a ghost....ok remus...

Remus is actually really smart and gets along with Logan pretty well

Virgil was the least...like...responsive(?) after forbidden fruit

Virgils eyes are more red in dwit (could just be Thomas and that he was tired or smth)

Whenever Remus walks past Patton, he'll take off his ears but then put them back on when he goes out of Pattons sight (english who?)

In the bloopers (not really but shhhhh) or smth when Remus knocked Logans teeth out, logan said "figuwawivwy"

Whenever Virgil "sounds the alarm" he (and maybe patton and remus) will go "weoo" for a few minutes as loud as he can

Logan has a baymax plush

Janus is obsessed with Hocus Pocus (despite Logan pointing out all the inconsistencies)

In clbg when patton said yes to thomas when he asked if there are anymore sides that were hidden away from him, he glanced at virgil (and logan) and virgil got super uncomfortable

Janus will always say the "you better watch out" vine

Everytime Logan has an idea, he'll say lightbulb out loud...like...just..."lightbulb" and the other sides just stare at him like.."wha-???" until he explains

[marvinswriting]

Shoulder Devils

Prompt: five times Janis tried to fake okay and the one time she just couldn't OH MY GOD I LOVE 5+1S OFC (this was supposed to be posted next week but i got it written within a few hours and just wanted to post it now bc holy shit its 5+1 and janis angst, my two favorite things.)

The knot in her stomach felt wound up too tight, like it would tear her insides at any moment. 

Calm down, Janis, it's only the first day of school. The common sense part of her brain told her. 

But every other part of her was screaming a different story. 

It's your first day of high school after being homeschooled through the end of middle school. Nobody has seen you since you were plastic and you'll be totally alone during your tiny only classes.

She subconsciously gripped the shirt underneath her tighter. 

Janis was on Damian's shoulder as they walked to their first class of the day. 

She knew deep down she'd feel better if she vocalized her worries to Damian, that way an outside source could ease her stress, but Damian had his own worries. He was in charge of not only getting him but also Janis to their classes on time- spare her tiny periods.

Janis had unintentionally made him stressed more just by existing.

Now, that's a little dramatic. The common-sense voice in her head said. It eerily sounded like Damian. Quite fitting.

No, it's true. The other part of her brain said. This one sounded like herself. 

Janis felt like she had her own tiny people on her shoulders. Just these were devils and angles, not best friends. 

Damian stopped in front of a classroom.

"English, co-sized, room 148, period one."

Sure enough, they stood in front of room 148. Janis could see kids she recognized at their grade, no longer eight graders but now freshman. 

"This won't be middle school." Janis mumbled to herself, trying to be reassuring.

"What?" Damian asked as he stepped into the room.

"Nothing," Janis said, a bit to fast. "Just talking to myself."

So much for that no worrying Damian part. 

"Okay," Damian said slowly.

He doesn't believe you, you fucked up. Shoulder devil Janis taunted.

Damian sat in the front row of the class so Janis would be able to see the board.

"You're gonna do great today," Damian reassured her, like he could tell exactly what she needed to hear. "If you need me at all during the day, just text me, okay?"

Look, failure, you've got him all worried. Shoulder Janis mocked.

No, he's just looking out for you, like friends should. The reasonable Damian sounding subconscious said. 

"I'm fine, really." Janis said with a soft smile.

-

Janis was pro at keeping her freakouts internal. As a plastic, she learned it better to just keep her problems to herself, bottle them up till she's lying in bed at night and they explode, like a mento in cola. 

Damian didn't like the method of emotional management that Janis adapted, but old habits die hard. 

Janis knew Damian wouldn't tell her to shut up like Regina would.

But he'll still judge you. Shoulder Janis reminder her. They all judge you. 

So she kept her freakouts internal. 

Until one night. She was at Damian's house for a sleepover. For the longest time, Janis would sleep on a makeshift bed next to Damian's nightstand. It was safer that way. Even though both Damian and Janis knew when Damian fell asleep he slept like a rock and didn't move, it wasn't worth the risk.

Cuz you're small and fragile and nothing but a worry. Shoulder Janis said. The reassuring mind Damian was quiet. 

Nothing to say, because I'm right.

Janis looked over to Damian on his bed. He was lying on his back with his eyes closed, but Janis could tell he was still awake. She shifted slowly in the tiny bed, not wanting to worry Damian. 

He deserves better than to be worried by you.  The devil Janis sneered. 

Janis knew logically that these were her own thoughts, but it felt like somebody else was saying them to her, confirming everything she feared. She was just a burden who got in the way. An irritant to all. A hassle to Damian, who had to take her everywhere.

Just like that, the mento fell in the coca-cola.

She quickly brought her hand up to her mouth to cover a cry. She didn't want to disrupt Damian. Not while he was still awake. She could fall apart when he was asleep. 

Her shoulders shook as silent tears slipped down her face. Janis wiped them away briskly. 

"Janis?"

Damian was sitting up in bed, looking at her small girl. 

Even though the dark room, Janis could feel his eyes on her.

"I'm fine." She said abruptly. Her defensive tone cueing that she was in fact, not fine.

You fucked that one up.

Janis rubbed at the ghost tears on her face, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes. 

Damian reached forward and scooped her up gingerly, his fingers wrapping around her gently as he laid back down on his side. He held Janis to his chest, like a kid holds a teddy bear. He didn't say anything or question her, just held her close. 

"I am fine, y' know" She said, but Janis gripped onto Damian's shirt despite herself, listening to Damian's heartbeat as they both fell asleep.

-

Janis? Where are you?

Janis glanced down at her phone. She was supposed to be meeting Damian at the tiny pick up zone, but instead, she was hiding in an empty classroom trying not to have a panic attack.

Nurse.

Janis typed back quickly, no point in telling the truth and getting Damian all worried.

Sorry if I made you wait too long and you're late to class.

You okay?

Yeah, im tits. dw about me

She placed her phone down, leaning against the cool concrete wall of the classroom. Damian would be heavily annoyed if she asked for help every time she felt this way.

He probably feels heavily annoyed with you no matter what. The inner Janis taunted.

"Right."

-

Janis knew Damian could tell she was upset. Janis also knew he wasn't gonna push her to talk about or bring it up first. And on top of all this knowledge, Janis knew she was in no way gonna vocalize her feelings. 

Sucks for her.

They were sitting in class, and Janis was trying to face forward and do her work, but her mind went anywhere other than algebra. 

She could feel Damian staring at her, but she refused to turn around a make eye contact. Janis did a shit job at hiding her emotions that morning, but she wasn't the type to admit when she was wrong.  Especially not after saying she was fine so many times earlier. 

Even though all she wanted to do was sleep in Damian's pocket until she had to go home, then sleep some more, she knew she just needs to push through the day under everyone's radar.

Because she was fine.

Yup, sure you are. Shoulder Janis was back, and as annoying as ever.

-

Janis was pretty sure her 'shoulder angle Damian' was just her brain spitting out anything positive Damian had ever said to her back out at her. 

Because it all sounded very familiar.  

But it all also got drowned out by the shoulder devil Janis, who was loud and mean and most importantly, she was right.

Anything shoulder Damian said, shoulder Janis had a counter that made more logical sense.

Does Damian actually like you?

Of course, he does, he's your friend! Why else would he carry you around all the time and care so much?

Pitty.

That one word made Janis's head spin because it made so much sense. 

Poor space dyke. Outed in front of her whole class in middle school. A tiny who can't do jack shit by herself. Who wouldn't feel bad?

"Janis?" She was sitting on Damian's shoulder as they (no- Damian) walked to lunch. She hadn't noticed they'd arrive because she was so lost in thought.

"I'm fine." She said.

-

"I can't spend every second with you, its not my fault you're like in love with me."

They were at the Hubbard's. Cady was long gone. But her words still echoed. 

Damian was holding Janis to his chest, one hand underneath her, the other gently pressing her there. 

Janis wasn't crying. She told herself she wouldn't cry over something like this again. 

But crying or not, she felt sick. Like Cady physically ripped out her heart and stomped on it.

"Janis?" Damian asked, his voice vibrating through her small body.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Damian says. For once he doesn't ignore it or move along.

"You're allowed to be hurting, you're allowed to not be okay. I'll still be here with an okay Janis and a not okay Janis because you are my best friend and I love you. I know I can't make the hurt go away but I want to help and I can't do that if you shut me out and say you're fine"

It sounded like something shoulder Damian had said so many times, but hearing the real Damian say it, it drowned out the shoulder Janis, and suddenly, Janis wasn't fine. But that was okay.

Damian didn't move or interrupt her as she cried, blubbering about everyone thinking she's a stupid lesbian.  

Damian didn't leave like Cady did, or judge her like Regina did.

Because he wasn't Cady or Regina.

He was Damian.

Janis felt bad for lying to him this whole time. 

Of course, Damian wouldn't leave her, or make fun of her, or take pity on her.

Damian hung out with her because he loved her, and Janis didn't need any small shoulder people to tell her that.

Tag list: @musicallygt @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @sourishlemons

[gvf-imagine]

Greta Van Fleet Preferences

HOW YOU MEET

——————————

Danny:

How you meet

“Ill be out here when you're ready to show me” your friend calls , knocking on your dressing room door. You give a simple “ok” as a reply and begin to undress. You're going to a wedding this weekend and your friend is helping you find something to wear, she found her dress weeks ago, you struggled in the fashion department. 

Your eyes fell on the dress your friend had picked out for you. It was a very gentle pink color and came down to your mid thigh, it was tight not flowy which was far from your normal attire. It looked nice enough but the price tag frightened you. You pulled it off the hanger and shimmied into it. Honestly, you thought you looked great, perhaps you should step outside your comfort zone more often when it came to clothing. The dress hugged your curves , which made you feel insecure but it's a wedding so no one will be looking at you, all eyes on the bride, hopefully. You fix your hair and pose for yourself, it was comfortable, surprisingly.  Ok time to show her. 

“So what do you think of this one? I kinda like it!” you say as you swing the changing room door open, your gaze looking down at the dress. 

“Yeah you look great” a man's voice responds, your heart jumps and you lift your head quickly. Your face burns red as your friend is nowhere in sight. In her place is a tall dark haired man casually looking through some belts. Your shoulders drop as you curse yourself. Idiot. 

“Oh i'm sorry! My friend said she'd be waiting out here for me” you reply with a smile, trying to pretend like you didnt feel like throwing yourself off a bridge. The man chuckles “oh yeah she left , said there was a cute guy that walked by” he answered looking towards the front of the store. God that is just like her, chasing after some dude. 

“It really does look nice on you” the man says again. You smile and look down at yourself “you think so? I usually don't wear this sort of thing, but i'm going to a wedding”  you explain with a chuckle. He nods, his eyes have not left you. 

“Yeah you look awesome, I think you should get it” he speaks reassuringly. 

“Holy fuck!” you exclaim then quickly cover your mouth, you didn't mean to be that loud. The man laughs and steps closer to you as you look at the price tag hanging from the hem of the dress. 

“This fuckin thing is 400$?! Jesus christ , I could make my own dress for 50$” you joke. Your shoulders sink, you really wanted this dress. The man laughs loudly.

“You're funny,” he chimes. He looks at your face, painted with disappointment. 

“Hey I could - I could buy it for you” he offers. You look at him in awe. 

“Its…….400 dollars….Why would you do that for me? You dont have to do that its just a stupid dress im sure I can find a cheaper one” You respond waving his idea away with your hand. 

“It's ok , I can afford it, I want you to have it” he insists. You don't know what to say , you just look at him. 

“On one condition though” he adds with a smile. 

“Yeah what?” you ask. 

“You have to take me as your date” he says shyly

———————————————————————

Jake:

Ok just breathe, you're fine , everythings fine. You tell yourself as your heart pounds in your chest. You were at an amusement park and about to go on the biggest roller coaster they had due to a dare from your friends, who were watching safely from the ground. Some random man is sitting in the seat beside you as two people had to share a cart. He didn't seem nervous and you wished you could be as relaxed as him. 

“Hey are you alright?” he asks , as if he knew you were thinking about him. 

“Oh um yeah im-im ok” you lied your mouth going dry. He smiles at you and watches you for a moment. 

“Are you though? Cuz your leg is shaking pretty vigorously there” he points out, his eyes falling to your body. You hadn't even noticed you were bouncing your leg anxiously. 

You stop.

“I'm sorry , I'm just a bit nervous I suppose, I'm kind of scared of roller coasters” you explain with a sheepish smile. 

“Kinda weird to go on the biggest one here then right?” he responds you chuckle at his remark. 

“Yeah my friends dared me, they are down there” you say pointing in their direction. He looks down and sees a small group of people looking up at you. The wind blew and you looked up at the clouds in search of comfort and solace. 

“Well My Name is Jake, and i've been on this ride a million times, you're going to be ok” He says with a reassuring tone of voice. He could sense how scared you actually were even though you tried your hardest to shrug it off. 

“Thanks Jake…..that helps. I’m (y/n) by the way its nice to meet you.” you reply smiling, feeling slightly better. Jake was a good distraction, he was gorgeous, chestnut brown hair that fell to his broad shoulders. Enticing eyes that made you wanna know more about him and his voice was sweet and soothing. You couldn't help but wonder what he thought about you. The feeling of the ride jolting under you ripped you from your daydream like state. 

“Oh fuck” you mutter , feeling your heart rate rise again. Jake smiles and grabs your hand gently. 

“It's gonna be ok” he smiles

———————————————————————

Sam:

Finally it was time to go to study hall, your last class of the day. You used this class to get your assignments from the day done. You headed to your desk but something catches your eye on your way. You look down at another student , you wracked your brain trying to remember his name. He was reading one of your all time favorite books, which surprised you , most people hadn’t even heard of the book before. You had to say something.

“Hey! I love that book” you say with a smile. The guy looks up at you with an equally excited facial expression.

“Oh yeah , it’s a great book, this is like the third time I’ve read it” he replies. You laugh, and nod.

“Yeah it’s such an awesome book, I’ve never met another person that likes it” you say.

“Sorry what was your name again?” You add.

“I’m Sam” he smiles.

“I’m (y/n)” you introduce , you both look in each other’s eyes and appreciate that moment. His eyes glinted with interest making you blush.

“Uh well maybe we could get together some time and talk about the book” he says stuttering slightly, moving his hair from his face gracefully, you watched it as it fell to his sides like a curtain.

“That would be awesome, here I’ll give you my number” you say quickly fishing for a piece of paper from your back pack. You jot your number down in neat hand writing and handed it to him. He looked so happy, he thanks you as he takes the paper.

“Alright class sit down” the teacher announces as she enters the room. You look to her and then back down to Sam before gesturing towards your seat, Sam nods and winks at you before you take your seat.

———————��———————————————-

Josh:

Your eyes scanned the shelves looking for Almond flour, you were going to try your hand at making home made macarons. You loved to bake , you did it whenever you had free time and you never made the same thing twice. You smile when your eyes land on the last bag of almond flour , you happily pluck it from the shelf until you see the ridiculous price tag. Why is healthy shit so expensive? You shook your head at the thought and made your way down the aisle. You looked up seconds before a man was about to bump into you, neither of you saw each other.

“Oh sorry” you say taking a step to your right , you laugh as he takes a step to his left thus getting in your way again.

“Oops” he chimes stepping to the other side the same time as you.

“I’ll go left you go right” you giggle , he thinks to himself , eyes looking up to the ceiling before taking a step in the wrong direction.

“No your other right” you laugh. He smiles “sorry” he says palming his forehead.

“No worries” you reply stepping around him.

“Oh hey!” He calls a second later.

“I think you dropped this” he adds holding out a package of frosting bags.

“Oh thanks” you smile grabbing them from him, his eyes fall to your basket of items.

“Oh thanks” you smile grabbing them from him, his eyes fall to your basket of items. You tuck your hair behind your ears and look down at your basket as well.

“Uh well I like to bake yeah - I- I don’t know if I would go as far as to say I’m a baker” you chuckle.

“Do you bake a lot?” He asks simply.

You nod.

“Well that sounds like a baker to me” he smiles with a curt nod.

“Yeah good point , you got me there” you reply , you could feel your cheeks warming , you were blushing but you weren’t sure why.

“Are you a baker as well?” You ask.

“Oh no I should not be allowed near an oven” he jokes “I’m just lost, you wouldn’t happen to know where the Oreos are would you?” He asks gesturing towards the store.

“Oh yeah they’re in Aisle 12” you chime pointing in the general direction.

“Cool thanks” he smiles.

“Ya know I actually have an event coming up for a friend, I don’t know if maybe you’d wanna bake a cake for him? It’s for his birthday , we’re having a surprise party ” he explains somewhat haphazardly.

“I’d pay you” he adds.

Sold.

“Sure I’d love to!-“ you begin.

“Ok cool, so should we like exchange info?” He asks , his pointer finger gesturing from him to you.

“Yeah that’s a good idea , that way we can over specific details like size and flavor of the cake” you nod as he pulls his phone out. You recite your number to him and his eyes flicker up to you

“What’s your name?” He asks softly.

“Oh sorry! I’m (y/n)” you answer.

“(Y/n) cool ,I’m Josh” he smiles.

Josh.

Later you’re in your apartment, the delicate scent of raspberry macarons fills the air as they cool on your counter.

Your phone beeps in your pocket and you slip it out.

“Hey it’s Josh from the baking aisle, there is no event. I think you’re super pretty...and that’s why I wanted your number but I wasn’t sure how to ask. I hope you aren’t mad , I just didn’t know how to ask” You read the message and smile, and honestly you were kind of relived he was fibbing. Catering events made you nervous.

“Thanks Josh! Of course I’m not mad, I totally understand being nervous about stuff like that” you reply.

“Oh good, if I ever do need a cake you’ll be the first person I ask” he texts back , you smile.

“Ya know I actually just took some macarons out of the oven, wanna come over and be my taste tester?” You send back. Your heart warms at the thought of making a new friend , and a cute one at that.

[dayasbun]

Fame - Angus Cloud (6)

Summary- a luckily timed audition leads to you falling for your new and unexpected co-star.

Warnings- okay HI welcome to my first multi chapter series woah?! this is actually so exciting for me like wow especially since angus doesn’t have any fics yet im just really really excited- so warnings! smut for sure, bad words, lotsa fluff, angst- everything in one basically. here comes a ride and I hope you enjoy :)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 {reading now}

-

“Okay! So all we’re doing today is the makeout scene, sound good?”

You and Angus nodded, both sitting on the poster bed with cameras surrounding you.

“What did I do?” He muttered to you for the tenth time that afternoon, and just like the other nine times, you didn't respond. Just hours before, Z had properly informed you of Angus’s secret girlfriend, someone he clearly had a thing with-but made sure to tell you nothing of.

THAT MORNING...

“Z!” You rushed over to her, your eyes wide as Storm came up beside you two.

“You have to film in an hour don’t you?” Zendaya questioned, quickly pulling out her phone. You nodded giving Storm a quick smile.

“Yeah, and you already know what I have to film-”

“Mmmmm right, you gotta make out with Angus, trust me we know. Everybodys talking about it, they won’t let us on set to watch y’all though, we tried.”

“I can’t stand you two,” You laughed shaking your head “Anyway, you know why I’m here. What you find out about Angus? That you texted me about last night? And make it quick, I gotta go to hair and makeup in a bit.”

“I’m debating if we should tell you before or after you film your scenes…”

“You basically already told her Ms. Blabbermouth, so just tell her the full thing.” Storm said to Z with a shrug.

“I am not a blabbermouth! I think its just right that she knows!”

“Then tell me Daya, come on!”

“Okay, okay. So my social media is set up so that when someone is following me I can see who follows them that I also follow without even clicking on- this doesn’t make sense, anyway! This girl followed me and the only person following her that I also follow was Angus. I didn’t think much of it, shes public so I wanted to check out her pictures cuz I was bored. She doesn’t have that many followers, but this girl is hot. Like I’m not even gay and she’s fine as hell, that’s why I was going through her pictures because she was just so gorg-”

“She’s pretty, I get it, can we move on?”

“Oh- Sorry. So yeah, I’m scrolling and I get to this picture of her on some man’s lap right? You cant see his face or anything, and there’s no tag. This was posted last month by the way. So there’s no tag or caption, but guess who commented?!”

“Wild guess, Angus?”

“Exactly! And guess what he said?”

“I don’t have time or patience for guessing right now-”

“He commented- and I quote, ‘Baby I miss you, sit on my lap again’ with those nasty thirst trap emojis! So I’m like wait a minute! And I’m going through her pictures now for a whole other reason. I find out they been dating since 2017 and she has a million pictures with him on her page all booed up but get a load of this- she literally never tags him. She always tags this other guy named Steve.”

You let out a huff and crossed your arms. “That’s fucked up. Real fucked up.”

“Yeah, I kn-”

“But I am not going to let it affect me today. I have to make out with him either way for our scene, so being petty isn’t necessary. I’m going to go on that damn set, and I won’t say a single word to him unless it’s on the fucking script!”

NOW...

“And...action!”

Angus let out a long sigh before jumping into the scene for the seventh time. You could tell it was bothering him why you were suddenly giving him the cold shoulder due to it affecting his performance as being Fez. You wanted to feel bad, but who just decides it’s cute to lead practical double lives? You tried to move the topic out of your mind so you wouldn't feel completely livid again and focused on the scene in front of you.

“Don’t do that girl, you got me fucked up.”

“Don’t do what? This?” You bit your lip and moved closer to him.

“You just tryna get some today ain't you?”

“I've been trying to get some since when I came back last week, Fez. But I’m glad you finally decided to notice.”

“Lemme gives you some then, come ‘ere.”

You got onto his lap wrapping your legs around his waist, just like you had the night before. You looked into his eyes and you felt your heart melt, and at this point, you didn't know if you were in character or if this was just you.

But then you remembered you were most likely the side chick.

Your facial expression hardened a bit, not enough for the cameras to pick it up, but you knew Angus noticed. Before he could ask you what was wrong or what he did for the eleventh time and ruin the scene, you pressed your lips to his and kissed him deep.

“Fuck baby...” he groaned into your mouth, his hands working their way up and under your shirt to cup your breasts. Once his large hands reached them, he gave them a nice squeeze causing your breath to hitch as you bounced a little.

Yeah, sure you were mad at him right now...but you loved that shit.

You grinned a bit wrapping your arms around his neck and pushing him down onto the bed. “You want me Fez?” You moaned out in a breathy tone, pulling your shirt over your head.

“Fuck yeah I want you girl, take this shit off for me.”

As you slowly unclipped your bra, you specifically remembered that at this point in the script he was to say ‘Jess’, not girl. But of course, the one-time {yesterday} you wanted him to say girl he had to say Jes-

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by a sudden “Cut!” from the crew. Letting out a breath you got off of Angus’s lap and clipped your bra. “Good stuff guys, we need Daya and Hunter next so if you see ‘em remind them its time for their scenes in about thirty minutes.”

You nodded putting your shirt back on, and trying to rush off of the set before Angus could catch up to you- but you failed.

“Aye,” he said walking by you “What's good?”

You shrugged. “I don’t really know what's good.”

“Why you acting like this, all different and shit. It’s on god starting to weird me out, what's the dealio wit’ you?”

“Just fuck off.”

Angus raised a brow and stopped walking. Thinking you finally had gotten him to leave you alone, you slowly walked to your trailer but ran into Jacob on the way.

“Hey!” You said softly. You hadn't exchanged many words with him over the time you'd been filming, but every time you had, he had been sweet and polite. The run down with Jacob was that he was talented and cute...that's about all you knew.

The conversation between you and Jacob was brief but pure. He asked you some questions about filming and you told him about how much you loved his performance in the show. Soon enough he reached his trailer and you two parted ways, leaving you alone as you walked to yours.

You stayed more focused on your phone that your surroundings, leading to you not realizing that Angus wasn't far behind you. As soon as you stopped walking and leaned against the side of your trailer, you felt someone in front of you. Looking up from your phone your eyes widened, why the fuck was he still here?

“Angus what the fu-”

“So you think you can talk to me like that?”

Suddenly feeling shy, your voice and confidence lowered. “I was playing...”

“And you think you can just flirt with anybody and everybody?”

“What are you-”

“Imma tells you something, so imma need you to listen to me real clear.”

You swallowed and nodded, looking up at him.

“Ion think you know this yet so imma let you know.” He placed his thumb on your cheek. “You mine, got it? Not Jacobs, not anybody fucking elses, mine.”

You almost couldn't believe the words you were hearin-

“Uh, Y/N, you good?” Jacob asked you. Quickly snapping out of it you nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine thanks.” What a hell of an imagination you had. You took a quick glance behind you and saw no one at all. Letting out a sigh you said goodbye to Jacob and walked into your trailer. As soon as you closed the door you heard a ding that was specially set for your male costar.

Angus☁️: come to my trailer. now.

and why should i do that?

Angus☁️: now Y/N im not fuckin around

im busy

Angus☁️: busy my fucking ass im fr

alr but don't expect me to stay.

Angus☁️ read at 1:34 PM

And even though you didn't quite know what was up yet, just from the texts you could tell that Angus was not happy.

-

taglist:

@nikkixostan @melaninmarvel @celiajrs @siriuslycollins @patientplum @babygurlbarnes

[peaky-shelby]

When he sees me [4]

Pairing: Chris Evans x oc

Summary: Delilah is a simple shy girl. What will happen when famous actor, Chris Evans sees her? Will she hide, will she run again? Will he make her come out of hiding instead?

Episode 4: The one with the double date

Read:  prologue, episode 1, episode 2 , episode 3

Words: 2.656

Based on When he sees me by Sara Bereilles

Warnings: mentions of sex, awkwardness, fluff, mentions of anxiety and Sebastian Stan.

Author’s note: this one is practically the begging of the story. The beginning of the battle that Delilah will have to go through. Will they survive? Thanks again for reading and please don’t forget leave your thoughts💘 and if you stop answering I’ll just assume that you want me to stop tagging you♥️

On the drive from the club to the house Delilah didn’t shut up. She kept mumbling about all these reasons why the double date was not a good idea. A part of her knew that Laura wasn’t really listening but she kept going. You see, she talks a lot when she has something to say.

”how could you think of something like that?„ Delilah shut the door to their apartment and threw her back on the nearest chair, her entire body was shaking, her mind was a maze, she had so many things to say, so many worries to express and she couldn’t get them together. She kept pacing back and forth like she was trying to find her sense around the room.

“Would you calm down? I think It’s the perfect idea and everything will go alright—„

“You thought ‘stole his car’ was a metaphor for sleeping with him! Excuse me but I don’t trust your judgment. How am I supposed to go on a double date? I don’t even go on alone dates—„

“This is exactly why I suggested it, you needed a date—„

“I didn’t Laura! That’s my point! I’m happy! Maybe I haven’t dated in a while but that doesn’t mean I’m sad! I don’t need a date, i need to be calm and right now I’m not calm!„

“For God’s Shake Chris Evans asked you out—„

“No!„ She paused her pace and pointed at Laura “It was your idea! He’s just too kind to say anything! You forced him in to asking me out and now it’s going to be a disaster—„

Laura rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen to make herself some tea. She had witnessed these kind of meltdowns many times, soon it would be over. “Or maybe it will be a really fun night!„

“Well we’ll never know cuz I’m not going!„ Delilah left the living room and went to her bedroom, she sat on her bed, trying to keep her body still but her leg kept trembling against the ground. She heard Laura’s sigh from the kitchen and she could imagine her rolling her eyes again. After her 4th meltdown, Laura stopped getting worried, instead she’d use her wit and sarcasm to help, it was more efficient.

“If you keep hitting your foot against the floor, Ms. Reynolds will come shouting again.„ she said entering the room with two cups of tea. Delilah lifted her feet and sat with her legs crossed on her bed. Then Laura handed her one of the cups and sat next to her.

“This is madness! I can’t even go out with the cat guy across the hall and I’m supposed to go on date with Chris Evans? What am I even going to say?„

“Pff that’s obvious!„

“Is it?„

“If you went out with America’s president you’d talk about politics, so considering you’re going out with America’s ass you can talk about butts„ Laura sipped her tea, looking at Delilah cheekily.

“Here im having a serious problems which you created and you’re making jokes—„

“Oh D, come on, what’s your serious problem?! That You have a date with America’s Ass?„

“Stop calling him that!„

“You’re being a child! I get it you’re worried but you have nothing to lose! No matter the out come we are going out with Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans and you’re sitting here whining about what may or may not happen instead of spending your time trying to find the right dress! Literally a child!„

Delilah didn’t respond. She looked down at her cup, saw her reflection in the tea. It was a blur, exactly how she felt on the inside, a blur. Laura wasn’t wrong, she knew that but she couldn’t just ignore the anxiety that she was feeling about the coming night. Her thoughts came to a pause when Laura placed her hand on her shoulder “I’ll be with you, watching everything, if it gets really bad, I’ll drag you out of there myself but don’t let that noise in your head take away this amazing chance. It’s just noise Delilah, just noise. But he is real and right now he is worrying about you the same way you are worrying about him, if he wanted to say no, he would have said no.„ she smiled, pushed Delilah on shoulder gently to make her look up. “But he didn’t.„

Delilah raised her head, her eyes connecting with her friend’s. Laura was her safety net, the one person in the world her head made no noise about. She was always sure about their friendship, they were a family, chasing dreams in LA. Somehow Laura would always find a way to convince her into doing things, she usually wouldn’t. Maybe that was because she knew deep down that even if things went completely sideways, Laura would be there to catch her. Even if she was the one that pushed her off the cliff in the first place.

“I have been on a date in so long I’ve forgotten how to do it.„

Laura laughed “hun, that’s exactly why I’m here! I got experience on that area.„

“Right yeah.. last night, I think you got a little more experience in that area.„

Laura giggled and nodded “yeah I think I did!„

“How did that happen?„ asked Delilah.

“I don’t know... it wasn’t supposed to happen. I had met him ones or twice before in different events, we kept in touch and last night we got a little tipsy and you know.. things just happened.„

“So you like him?„

“Yeah, Yeah I do and I don’t think it’s just fun and games.. he’s a nice one D. I got a good feeling about it.„

“Well I guess we’ll find out tonight.„ Delilah smiled.

They spent the rest of their time, arguing about what they were going to wear. Laura wanted to go with a sexy kind of style, whilst Delilah wanted to keep it simple. At one point they even had a clothes war, Dresses, pants and shirts were thrown all over the house. In the end Laura wore a white top with a portrait neck and a short black flower skirt. Delilah wore a blue dress with flutter sleeves.

As planned Chris and Sebastian were under their house at 8. Delilah saw them arriving in Chris’ car from the window and she instantly panicked.

“I don’t wanna go!„ she whined. Laura ignored her cries and held her arm, pulling her with her out of their apartment.

“There’s my girl!„ Sebastian walked over to Laura immediately “I’ve been waiting to kiss these lips all day.„ he said, leaning down and acting on his wish. Delilah laughed as she watched them, she kinda wanted that but she was too scared to ask for it.

“Hey.„ his voice was like a summer evening breeze. It awoke her from her meaningless thoughts in such a calming way. His tall presence behind her, warmed her entire body even tho he wasn’t touching her. Slowly she turned and looked at him, her cheeks slightly blushing under his watch.

“Hi.„

“You look really pretty.„ he said. This is a good start, she thought and smiled.

“Thank you, you too.„

At that moment ditching Laura and Sebastian and staying alone with Chris didn’t seem such a bad idea but—

“Alright! Let’s go! Come on, I’m hungry!„ said Sebastian.

Chris was driving, Delilah was shotgun and Sebastian and Laura were in the back. They couldn’t keep their hands to each other for the whole drive.

“Goodness if they keep going like that they’ll eat each other.„ whispered Delilah, hoping only Chris would hear.

“Sebastian did say he was hungry.„

“Ewww!„ She exclaimed in a high pitched voice making Chris laugh at her reaction.

__

“Try not to make babies in the restaurant!„ advised Chris, when they arrived at the restaurant. They all followed him in, Delilah was right behind him, hidden by his tall body and the other two were only a few steps behind. The waiter showed them to their table, Laura made sure that they’d sit in the right way for Delilah to be next to Chris.

During the night he’d noticed the little things, how her laughter differed when she actually found something funny from when she was just been kind. How excited she’d get to talk about her favorite books and theater and how she’d let her mind wonder from time to time in thoughts only she could hear. And In that moment while she was talking with Sebastian and Laura about books, he caught himself staring at her . She looked like the ocean in her blue dress, natural and yet ethereal. He could only see the right side of her face, a strand of her was covering her rosy cheek so in a very gentle movement he stretched his hand and moved her hair behind her ear. She looked at him as soon as she felt his warm hand against her skin. Chris pulled his hand back quickly, idiot— that was so weird why would you do that?

“Sebastian don’t we have this thing to go to?„ Said Laura unexpectedly.

“What thing?„

That question got him a punch in the shoulder.

“Oh the thiiiiing— Yeah we should go to the thing.„

“you don’t have a car„ Delilah tried to stop her friend from leaving.

“We’ll get an Uber!„ answered Sebastian

“You should know every nice love story starts with an Uber—„ Laura was cut off by Delilah’s murderous look. “Lets go before she kills me!„

Sebastian left money on the table for Chris and left with Laura. Chris and Delilah didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, it’s like they had forgotten how two humans communicate.

“What do you think the thing is?„ asked Chris, trying to make a conversation. Obviously there is no thing, She probably thinks I’m an idiot.

“Obviously there is no thing. I mean there’s his thing which she’ll be getting—„ Delilah’s cheeks blushed immediately after she said the joke and she let her head drop on the table, feeling like a total idiot. “God I’m so sorry— that was really inappropriate I had too much whine—„

Chris laughed, she’s adorable.

“It’s alright— you’re probably right.„

She giggled at his reassurance, he tapped her on the shoulder so she’d look at him and smirked “wanna get out of here too?„

“Honestly? Yeah.„

“Lets go I have an idea.„

__

“Goodness this is so cheesy“ she whispered getting out of the car. Chris chuckled at her comment.

“I’m sorry it’s the best I could come up with last minute.„

“Well I’m not complaining, I’m just saying—„

“It’s cheesy.„ he completed her sentence, making her laugh a little.

Living in a LA for the last 3 years this was actually the first time she had gone on Mount Lee at night. The view was beautiful, the lights of the street looked like diamonds, the world looked so peaceful from up here, like a painted picture.

“You always see the Hollywood sign from down there... it’s so weird to be up here looking down there.„ she smiled, tilting her head to look at him “it’s cheesy but it’s beautiful.„

Chris looked down at her with so much affection. Night has never looked so beautiful on a person, it was like it was tailored for her to wear it.

“You know... when you are in Hollywood, so deep in the fuss of it, the fame and the craziness you forget how beautiful it is as a place. The history, the magic, the secrets, the art...everything about it. So I like to come up here, enjoy the view and remember.... and I feel so privileged to be able to say that I’m part of it, not because of the fame or the money but the—„

“History.„ she finished his sentence like he had done earlier “..and the beauty.„ she added in a whisper making him smile. He took a step forward and turned his whole body to her.

This is the perfect moment, right? She wants me to kiss her. I’ll just do it, but I’ll go in slow in case she wants to stop me— please don’t stop me. I bet her lips taste like caramel. Only a few inches closer, just a little bit—

Delilah stopped him by placing her hand on his chest. Chris looked at her worried but she wasn’t even looking at him, she was watching something behind him.

“I think there are two people doing it behind the bush.„ she whispered, trying not to laugh. Chris immediately turned and sure enough there were two people behind the bush totally getting it. He tried his hardest to contain his laughter but Delilah gave up and broke down in chuckles.

“Let’s get out of here!„ he suggested and pulled her with him to the car. When they got in they both started laughing like kids and Chris drove away quickly. And when they were in a fair distance he asked her if she wanted to go home and Delilah said yes.

“This is it.„ she whispered when they arrived. Chris smiled at her, he wanted her to stay.

“We should do something again.„

“I’d really like that.„ she whispered and leaned in to gave him a gentle peck on the cheek. His beard stroked her face, making her heart flutter. Their connection was so tender and sweet. She pulled away and gave him one last smile before she exited the car. Chris watched her leave until last minute he remembered:

“Oh god the bracelet!„ he got off the car and run to her. “Sorry! I almost forgot!„

“What happened?„

“You lost this, again.„ he pulled the bracelet out of his pocket and placed it on her hands. “Next time I’ll find it, I’ll keep it!„ he added. Delilah laughed and nodded.

“I’ll be more careful I promise. Thank you Chris!„

They stood still for a moment. Chris was only looking at her not saying anything. “There’s one more thing..„ he started saying.

Do it. Kiss her. If it wasn’t for the pervs making out in the bushes, she would have kissed you. Kiss her.

He stepped closer and curled her hair behind her ear, Delilah watched his movements carefully, her heart was about to drop out of her chest but she wasn’t going to stop him.

He leaned closer and closer and closer until there was no space between them and his lips met hers. It was quick and sweet, only a little peck on her lips and nothing more but Delilah was still feeling like he stole her voice and her breath. She opened her eyes and found him looking at her with his golden eyes like he was asking for permission to kiss her again. She gave it to him with a simple smile and Chris moved closer to her, kissing her one more time. His right hand was placed gently on her cheek while she had very awkwardly placed her hand on his hips, holding on his jacket. She had forgotten how to do this, it was like it was her first time. Chris sensed her struggle and pulled away, giving her a reassuring smile. Delilah giggled in embarrassment and looked away. “I’m sorry..I— I’m not used to this. I..should really go.„ her anxiety was very slowly but surely raising from her toes up to her head and she knew that soon the noise would start playing in her mind. She had to leave before he could hear it. The giggles stopped and she stepped away from him. He nodded and waved “goodnight..I’ll call you„ he smiled.

“Goodnight Chris.„

She walked in the building and fast in her apartment. Shutting the door and as soon as she did that the noise began.

Taglist:

@annoyinglydarktriumph-us @purely-myself-03 @yelyahcardella @tessvillegas @thejemersoninferno

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

[andyaxo]

Had a dream where the boys turned me. It was intense but welcoming. (To me)

Paul got me high as fuck in the dream after drinking from the bottle. David and Dwayne tried to give him shit about it like "you got her too high" followed by me telling them "that's...where y'all are wrong. This isn't my first tango with the plant". Marko and Paul laughed they're asses off. I mean I don't blame them Paul smokes a ton.

We basically partied for 3 days straight. You know how hard it is to keep up with those guys? Three days.

My first kill got to be my stalker. I wasn't hesitant on that kill. I wanted it, I wanted to show him how I really felt to make someone feel helpless.

The boys were all there when it happened. Dwayne had to pull me off of the corpse letting me know that he's gone. I sucked them dry. They were satisfied with my kill cuz last time they only beat the crap out of him. Very badly. To give him a good scare. But David was just keeping him alive for me to deal with him myself.

The hard part was controlling my thirst after that. Mainly since I could smell everyone's cent.

David helped me through it. He encouraged me not to starve myself. If im hungry, if I got to go, I got to go. But be careful. Don't get caught. Hide the evidence, and they'd come back to help get rid of it later.

Marko had fun showing me how to fly/float. He was more excited on showing me than I was about the whole thing. I wasn't happy cuz I kept getting stuck upside down on the ceiling.

Paul would stop by and watch the whole thing happen. He'd pull out a Polaroid and take photos. Some labeled "Andy's first time floating" as a little way of messing with me. I didn't mind it though.

Laddie was happy when Dwayne told him, he ran up to me with a big hug. "You're finally like us now!"

I made sure no one gave Star any shit because she hasn't made a kill yet. When she's ready, she's ready.

Sometimes I forget I don't feel pain. That im stronger now. But being 4 foot 9 I forget that completely. I'll bump into something and saw "ow" David would see this and say "you can't feel pain, what do you mean ow??" "Sorry force of habit"

I forgot that I couldn't go out in the sun. Once I just woke up in the day and without thinking I went to step outside to go to the beach, but Star pulled me back inside before I could feel the sun on my skin. "What're you doing??!" And gave me a huge lecture about not going out in the day time. I felt so bad I made her a little portrait. She was pretty upset and worried.

When David found out about that oh it was worse. Laddie accidentally let it slip to David. David confronted me about it when I came back from the boardwalk with Paul, Dwayne, Star and Marko, "Why would you do that?!!? Go out at daylight, I mean common sense!" He was so mad.. He had me sleep where they slept so I wouldn't go and make that mistake again.

Dwayne had to remind him that im new at it, my human habits were still there. I still had some time to get used to the whole change.

I wasn't mad at Laddie, I just wasn't expecting David to snap at me like that. But I took it understanding completely.

They boys had some time to get used to the fact that I don't let myself with anything. If I felt like they were overstepping it on something I would make it known.

David and I butt heads alot but, it wasn't that deep though. We would get over it hours later. Because we respected eachother and we're our own little family

When the guys were out Star, Laddie and I would sneak off to the boardwalk, or the beach. Go to the movies and make our own little plans. Plus we knew we'd get kicked out if the boys tagged along. We cherished our time together to give Laddie some normalcy, vamp/half vamp or not he was still a kid. And Star and myself wanted to makesure he enjoyed doing kid things.

It was a really nice dream. I had fun.

[ronracer]

Yo,

I have never doubted my feelings towards anyone I have told I love them. And outside of going a little beyond my means to make them smile I've never had to prove how much I truly love them....

But I've been dealing with this company BasicInvite.com

Screwing up our Save the Dates... And watching my fiancee tear up enraged me to a level I never knew... Like I love her so much and on such a primal level that just half tears in her eyes

Let's back up a bit.

Wedding Planning Pt2: invitations

I'm kinda jumping ahead of a bit but im pissed rn so we'll circle back around to the cute fun stuff of this topic. I'm sure by now you all have seen our bomb ass engagement photos. We loved them so much we wanted to use them as our save the dates!

We ordered our save the dates through this company. Being the life-long procrastinators we have chosen to be admittedly we sat on this longer than need be. So we Paid extra for the faster shipping. We get all giddy and excited because it's just one more step towards our new lives. Of course she goes to check on it first ... But the tracking number we received was not working. Called customer service and TREVOR explained that somehow our save the dates were lost!!

Some shit about the post office not scanning the box or something. Now they are a small business, probably have one person taking mail. Part of me felt like they just forgot to put the box in the mail. None of that mattered though. We NEED these save the dates ASAP.

He assured us he was print us new ones and they would be shipped out immediately and they would refund me The extra shipping cost. I lightheartedly tell him The misses will kill me cuz The was my task so don't worried about refunding the money and if we have to pay more to get same day shipping we'll do that. Apparently they can't do same day shipping which makes no damn sense but whateva. The next morning the original package mysteriously  gets an update on the tracking number. Interesting... But regardless Trevor said he would send us a new set. Then we get an email. They TOO have noticed movement on the package and now will WAIT and see before they send a new set.

Um..

..No. We explain to them that we could not afford to wait, which is why we paid extra for the shipping anyway. I asked again for Trevor. He said they understood and would go ahead making the second batch. They were just "letting me know"... Ok... A day goes by and we reach out again because we havent got a tracking number for the second batch. They tell us that the second batch did not pass its quality control inspection and now they have to print a THIRD batch which would take another 3 days!!! They said the good news was that it looked like the original batch would be there the next day anyways. Upon hearing this my sweet little future wife begins tear up off pure frustration. Because honestly, and tell us if we wrong, but it really felt like our original assumptions about them just forgetting to mail the first box was correct. And now they are dragging us along until it shows up so they don't have to make a new box...

Am I wrong?

At this moment my patience had worn out.

I demanded to have this new batch made and shipped the same day because at this point we had wasted too much time to get a refund and go anywhere else. They gave me some b.s. about having a contract with USPS and can't do same day. I demanded to speak to a higher up which i was denied.

Fuck that.

You see the unseen problem small businesses have is that They rely too much on their own social media. So finding the CEO was only a click away.

And I sent him a lengthy FB msg

After that They assured me I would be getting my package that day and give me a full refund. Of course I had heard this three times already. I told them I would NOT get off the phone until my packing is literally in the hands of the postman and I get an email SAYING it was shipped. I'm not kidding you guise. I put the phone on speaker at work at say there with them for 5hours.

They actually sent a picture of the box on the truck and then tried to hang up on me! Hold up. No. I said I needed both the picture AND update on the tracking. Not just being a dick about the situation but if we all remember in the beginning how this all started was them saying "the mail man must have forgotten to scan it..." So you will WAIT with me as I refresh until it says on the way. But I felt bad for the poor girl on the phone, syd I think her name was. So I said this is Trevors fault put his ass on the phone.

There was a strange silence then she says he's out of the office... I really hate when people try and play you like we haven't all worked customer service and managers have given us the I'm not here face

I asked when he would be back and she says she can't give me his schedule. I then tell her if I have to call back for him the civility of this interaction, which was already at a low point, will be null. Further more I have enough sky miles to fly to Utah in the morning if I have to.... By this time the tracking has updated... She tries again to get off the phone. I say where's Trevor.. Oh he has magically reappeared.

Sounding annoyed by having to talk he immediately goes into this bland ingenuine corporate apology. BUT instead of apologizing on behalf of BasicInvite.com this foo says he stands by the quality and service of BasicInvite.com and he apologizes for USPS!?

Bruh...

How you gonna be so self absorbed you gonna blame the Untied States government.

Even if it's true they messed up the first box, which I still don't think they did. What about the 2nd box? Why did I have to curse two poor customer service reps out for you to figure out how to do same day shipping? He then tells me he thought maybe we were trying to get something for free

I went ALL the way off.

I said several times I didn't care about the money for these cheap ass save the dates I wanted the save the dates! I even suggested paying extra. So where in the fuck you get the idea I'm trying to get over?.. He hung up. I called back and got poor syd answers. I say put Trevor on the phone she again says he's not taking calls. I told her I will call everyday for the rest of this year until Trevor or Brock takes my call and gives me a real apology.

They truly had no idea who They just crossed.

I called everyday And only saying hello can I speak to Trevor til They blocked me. I then used the website chat. They blocked my IP from going to their website, then gave me a refund. I went to Starbucks used two pcs and vpns til they had to install a new chat service that could block instantly. Still all I said was hello I need to speak to Trevor. Finally getting a formal cease and desist email I stopped.Trevor you should thank your god that my god put a woman in my life with some sense because I was really prepared to torture you for the rest of my living days.

So now I have double the save the dates and nothing to do with them. If It were up to me I'd burn the whole lot of them post the video on IG and tag BasicInvite.com

Anyone out there listening please do not use these people. I should have known from the name they some basic bitches.

[dragonsfire]

You've been tagged! Ship your favorite mutuals with Monsta X!

I’m going to apologize in advance now for any novel I may answer to any of the following 😅.Ok let’s give this a shot! *cracks knuckles and maybe prepares a power point for some of them*..... please excuse my lame attempt at being funny. MOVING ON!Shownu: @soybeantree ok to begin with... our wonderful appa bear who deserves nothing more than all the love in the world. There’s honestly no one else I could picture with other than Hana because he would be spoiled rotten by her and I mean that in any/every sense possible. I can just picture you guys going on different camping trips and just traveling all over the place. Even though our precious bear has grown so much out of his shell lately, I can definitely see him getting even more out of his shell with you.Wonho: @soybeantree to our very emotional and caring bunny who has the biggest heart in the world. I highly advise no one mess with him or make him upset because then you would have to deal with Em and it won’t be pretty at all. (She’s actually a very nice person and all just if you make Hoseok cry, you won’t want to be on the receiving end of Em’s wrath 😅). Just like Hana would spoil Shownu, Wonho would be beyond spoiled by Em. Protected, constantly fed, you name it done! Also probably the only other person I trust to share my ult bias with (even if Kihyun has been trying to sway you a lot lately missy 😒)Minhyuk: @minjistrashwife lemme put it this way.... Our ray of sunshine is a bright ball of energy and that ray would constantly be shining nice and bright with Destery. Also I can seriously picture you both doing a lot of different cosplays together and him getting a little too carried away. But even if he gets extremely carried away, I can picture you being ok with it yet taking reigning him back in sometimes if his idea is a little too out there. Ya know how his creative mind works lol. I just see a lot of creative ideas going on back and forth between you two and just getting lost in your own little worlds. Not to mention plenty of movie marathons, maybe a little pillow fort to watch said movie marathons in. Don’t get me started on adopting all the animals either, plenty of cats and dogs to go around! Also another boy that would be extremely spoiled to no end.Kihyun: @illbetheresomehow Luíza my Little Luíza ☺️. As much as Kihyun loves to be a little shit and cause chaos while nagging and messing with his members I can just picture him being ever so loving and protective of ya. Granted he will love to mess with you every so often as well but I can see you getting even with him when he leases expect it and boy will that boy be surprised. He won’t know what hit him! Lol. I can just see the two of you traveling all over the place going to little cafes to try and find the perfect cafe. Also picture him wanting to learn how to cook anything and everything of your native dishes, I also can picture you messing with him if he does something wrong for a specific dish lol. But definitely plenty of smiles and good laughs oh and lots of hugs too 😌.Hyungwon: @hyxng-wonnie You are so lucky I’m not pairing you with Kihyun as much as I really want to because he’s more of a match for you! Anyways! Plenty of gossiping and being sassy together. The amount of sass coming from you both making Kihyun probably want to hit you both since he doesn’t wanna deal with two sassy mouth kids. Don’t get me started on naps. It’ll never be fun trying to get you both up. Also... Wrapping you both in bubble wrap. Him to be protected from every single one of his members and possibly himself considering how many times that boy gets injured by who knows what, the wind probably. You because you just need to be saved from yourself with the amount of injuries you get alone. And no Heather... CHANGKYUN IS NOT POPPING THE BUBBLES 😡. And no you cannot pop the bubbles while you’re wrapped in them either!Jooheon: @floofsta-x Because if anyone is going to spoil our Jooheonie it would have to be Bryony. Seriously that man deserves so much love and attention and she could give him all of that and more. Not to mention the amount of chaos that I can picture the two of you going through to torment the rest of the members. Just getting back at all the times Minhyuk and Kihyun have scared this poor baby. Please protect him at all costs. He maybe a scary, badass rapper on stage but offstage... His heart can only handle so much torment lol. I can definitely picture you helping him out whenever he has some writers block with his raps, going on little adventures together (avoiding all bugs as much as possible), making each other laugh. Spoiling him to no end basically lol. I just wish you the best of luck with enduring his aegyo you can do it!Changkyun: @dontpanicwerenotatthedisco / @withnosuchgrace / @ims-monbebe / @changkyoon THIS ONE WAS SO DIFFICULT BECAUSE YOU ALL LOVE AND WANT TO PROTECT OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE MAKNAE WITH ALL YOUR HEARTS! Even when he does say the randomest things ever that make you question your love for him. But ya know he’s cute, adorable, young, and he makes up for it. Also makes us question how old he is sometimes but ya know that’s another story for another day. MOVING ON! Shelsy.... do I even need to say anything??? Possibly the one person who could maybe keep Changkyun in check keyword being maybe cuz you would both go off on random tangents about anything and everything possibly while everyone else is looking at you like what the hell is going on. Also ya know Kihyun is gonna wanna murder ya probably but we won’t let that happen don’t worry. Also... I’m just saying... that little puppy and his big black sweatshirt. That’s it. Tahira... You would spoil this boy rotten! If that boy didn’t feel loved as is right now, he would definitely feel it from you! Also I see you stealing all of that poor boys wardrobe lol. Celeste, I can just picture you two going off on random little adventures together and documenting them for the future. Going back home to look through everything, laughing at some of the candid photos that you didn’t know each other took. Karla, I can picture you going on little adventures to some of those animal cafe thingys they have. Ya know like the one Minhyuk and Jooheon went to with the meerkats. Just going to one with puppies and you trying to convince Changkyun not sneak all the puppies out even if he’s pouting so much like pleaseeee. But then I see you both adopting one and loving it so much. Then Changkyun gets extremely jealous cuz the puppy gets more attention then him, but back on topic here lol. He’ll be spoiled by you as well but you would get him to think before he says some of the things that come out of his mouth. We all know someone’s gotta do it at some point lol.Ok so I definitely went off on random tangents and I’m sorry!!!! But yea soooooo that brings this to an end I guess 😅. I do seriously love you all though and please excuse the random shit I’ve said, I had too much sugar in me and my brain may have gotten a little carried away in the creative department in moments. I tried my best to keep it in check! 😩

[sevensity]

RFA * V* Saeran overhearing their female s/o on the phone telling another boy she loves them but it's actually just one of the s/o's family members ?

hey it’s been like five years but I finally wrote it and I’m sorryI had no idea what to do for Baehee >.

I love how they get progressively long as you go have fun reading

YOOᔕᑌᑎG:

·        You’re playing LOLOL together when suddenly you get a phone call,and pause the game while you answer

·        Yoosung’s doing some quick character customization while yourconversation goes on, but he’s getting the feeling that you’re talking toanother man

·        And someone close to your age, at that

·        He’s been working hard at controlling his jealousy, but it’s sodifficult, especially now that you’re speaking such gentle words, your pretty eyessoft and twinkling

·        Who is it you’re talking to that would warrant such anexpression? Such words that spoke of warmth and tender love?

·        Yeah so it was impossible for Yoosung to keep his switch off

·        Can you stabsomeone through the phone? How can I perform simple voodoo? became hisnewest google searches

·        “Take care of yourself, I’ll come see you soon, I love you!” you hang up with a wistful sigh.

·        “The old geezer went and fell down the stairs…again…honestly heneeds to be more careful.”

·        “Old…geezer?” Yoosung asks tentatively, slowly putting his phonedown

·        “Yeah, my grandfather went and broke up hip by tripping on astep. Luckily he didn’t fall a whole flight, but still, at his age….”

·        Yoosung discreetly closes his ‘Voodoo for Beginners’ tab andcoughs lightly

·        “Right well, let’s continue our match, shall we? I’ll crush you!Ha-ha, I’m kidding?”

·        The battle begins once more, you having already forgotten aboutthe phone call, but somewhere in Yoosung’s mind, he’s thinking about the webpage he’d closed

·        Maybe it wouldbe useful to look through

·        For futurereferences…

ᘔEᑎ:

·        Y’all are rehearsing some lines

·        or taking selfies

·        or working out

·        or trying to summon Satan idk but your phone rings and youexcuse yourself from your current activity  to answer it

·        lmao though imagine you actually summon Satan and he’s trying totake your soul or smthing but then you’re like ok hold up my dude I got a phonecall the delivery guy might have gotten lost and Satan is just left standingthere like ??? do I get food too or

·        anyways hi hello it’s your /actual/ father calling about thefamily reunion on Saturday

·        Zen’s sneaking glances your way because what’s with this sweettone of yours

·        is i T A mE m Be R of Th eOpPOSi t E SE x????????

·        basically he’s trying to listen to the voice on the other end ofthe line but being sneaky about it

·        we all know that ‘subtlety’ is not part of Hyun Ryu’svocabulary, let alone life skills

·        so he’s basally draped himself over you  like some sort offallen tree trunk

·        im good at analogies alright

·        you’re trying to focus on the call but at the same time Zen whatthe flippity fuck are you doing you’re making me have to pee

·        he’s already suspicious but when you hang up with acheery “love ya daddy!” Zen malfunctions and doesn’t know whether to cryor yell

·        “Who was that why do you love that person was it a guy wh-”

·        “Zen, chill that was my dad.”

·        :0

·        :000000

·        you can see him dying a bit inside because  oh no I got jealous over her F A THER??????

·        but then Zen is Suddenly Inspired 

·        “Hey,” he whispers in a sultry voice, his lips pressed againstyour ear, “how about you call me daddy too?”

ᒍᑌᗰIᑎ:

·        contrary to popular belief, Jumin is actually cool with youtalking to other dudes

·        as long as it’s strictly professional, that is

·        he’s never heard you talk to your family before, so heisn’t aware just how close you allare

·        the both of you are attending a meeting, and during the coffeebreak you receive a call

·        ‘Jongin’ is the caller’s name, which Jumin manages to catch aglimpse of flashing across your phone’s screen before you deftly answer thecall

·        “Yeah? Hello!” you say,  before excusing yourself from theroom

·        Jumin is left wondering whether he should follow you or justignore it

·        but there’s just something about the delicate shift in your tone that puts him ill at ease

·        because you should only be speaking to him that way

·        side note I reallllllly want to see some yandere Jumin but notlike weird prison guard Jumin but actual Yoosung level yandere

·        alas, the meeting starts again, yet you don’t return to the room

·        he hears you giggle occasionally from the hallway, but tries notto focus on it too much because the meeting is about the future of C&R’scat projects and therefore of uttermost importance

·        needless to say, his mind is quite preoccupied

·        one of the chairmen asks him “What do you believe would bethe total production cost for this particular plan?” 

·        Jumin answers with a distracted “Oh, no I rather do like red wine with my pasta.”

·         basically he’s really not himself what’s gotten into himhe’s usually an unstoppable force in meetings but now???

-         the meeting is adjourned, and he rushes out the door

·        as soon as he spots you in he hallway, he’s marching straighttowards you, reaching for your arm right when you say “Okay bye! I’llsee you tomorrow, love you!”

·        “What’s this about loving who now?” Jumin hisses, his hand closing lightly, but firmly, around your wrist

·        “It’s me telling a family member that I care about them?” yousay, confused as to why he’s reacting in such a way

·        “You - what? family member?”

·        Yeah, that was my uncle. We usually go shopping together everyfew weeks, and we’re due to go again tomorrow.”

·        Jumin’s emotions quiet down in an instant, however his heart isstill running rampant like a wild beast in his chest

·        he slides his fingers down to envelop your hand, and gentlyrests his forehead atop yours

·        “Please, my love, don’t scare my like that again, you are myone, my everything…”

·        you’re getting ready to whisper your own cheesy loving sentence, but hecontinues

·        “Also you should bring your uncle shopping in this building. Wehave over 200 different stores, and maybe he would be willing to lead our catcampaign-”

·        you poke his stomach

·        “You are not bringing myuncle into this cat thing…but if you want, you can tag along and comeshopping with us.”

·        he agrees, which is a bad idea

·        cuz you and your uncle tag team him

·        and he ends up wearing some sort of cat/maid outfit that showsskin in just the right places

·        yeah but it’s a good buy

·        Jumin actually wears it around the penthouse

·        Driver Kim once saw him in it 

·        “The young master has rather particular interests….”

·        lowkey approves and wants one himself

ᔕᗩEYOᑌᑎG:

·        mmmmmmkay well honestly he’s heard you say “I love you” toseveral people already, but he doesn’t get jealous because you’re always showering him with your affection

·        but he’s had one of his bad days, old emotions and thoughts andinsecurities are already chasing each other in his mind

·        so it isn’t helping him much when he can just tell you’re talking to another boy

·        terrible thoughts swarm his head, and he cannot stop fretting about all the bad things that could possibly be happening

·        What if he hadn’t been looking enough into things?  What ifhe’s being played? Are you going around behind his back? Betraying him?

·        but for every one of these thoughts, he  lashes out athimself, thinking things along the lines of don’t I trust her? Do I reallythink she’s that bad a person? She’s given me all this love, would she reallyjust abandom me like that?

·        Or maybe now I’m reading too much into things?

·        “Alright, bye Kyungsoo, I love you!”

·        He winces, not wanting to face you, afraid that the bile in histhroat will lead him to say harsh things

·        “What’s wrong, Saeyoung?”

·        “Who…” he croaks, a faint pain etched across his face, “Whowere you talking to?”

·        “Oh that? It was my brother!”

·        “You…your…ah.”

·        “Is something the matter?”

·        “No, I’m just a huge idiotis all.”

·        “Now tell me something I don’t know,” you say with a sly smile,wrapping your arms around his waist, “you might be the world’s biggest idiot,but at the very least, you’re myidiot.”

·        Saeyoung instinctively returns the embrace, holding you tightagainst his chest. “Likewise.”

ᐯ:

·        oh my hea RT lmao what heart haha I just roasted myself

·        y’all are just chillin’, looking through his pictures when youget a phone call

·        V is fine with you talking on the phone right beside him, so youanswer right there

·        Heck, you could even be riding the shit out of him and he’d stillbe chill with you calling your friend

·        MC orders pizza while getting laid lolololol

·        He gets momentarily nervous, though, when he hears a deepervoice on the other end of the line

·        But V, he tells himself, don’t discriminate maybeit’s a girl with a deeper voice you never know

·        “Who is that?” V mouths, just to be safe

·        “Oh, he’s just –” you start to say before you getcut off by the person you’re talking to

·        a b OY?!

·        “Okay! I love you!” you say before hanging up

·        V’s all ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

·        it takes him a moment to calm down, at which point he’sconvinced himself that you’re moving on, which is fine, because he’s not goodenough for you he wasn’t good enough for Rika you’ll be happier without himyou–

·        “V you’re turning blue I don’t think you’re breathing.”

·        He inhales sharply and looks at you with tears in his eyes

·        it makes sense, he concludes, trying to hold backthe waterworks

·        “You should have told me sooner,” he says softly

·        “Told you what?”

·        “That you’ve…found someone else.”

·        seriously V I thought I jumped to conclusions toofast but you really take the cake

·        you just stare at him, then look at the phone in your hand, thenback at V

·        whoops

·        “Sweetheart no that was my cousin!”

·        V just blanches

·        I am horrible how dare I get jealous so easily and I thought shewas in love with another family member what am I –

·        “V if you stop breathing like that you’ll actually die.”

·        without a word, V reaches over to you and pulls you into hischest

·        there’s a strange elation sensation inside his body, and herealizes that he had unconsciously been so stressed, a knot of worry had formedin the pit of his stomach

·        his worry is replaced by a realization

·        the realization that

·        he’s not okay with you leaving him after all

ᔕᗩEᖇᗩᑎ:

·        He ain’t taking none of that shit

·        the moment he hears you say “Hi!” in such a sweetvoice because MC you’re only supposed to talk like that with me h o w dare you, he practically launches himself at your phone and does awicked somersault landing

·        Where did he go?

·        Surely not inside the kitchen cabinets

·        oh

·        but there he is

·        crouching between cereal boxes and jars of tomato sauce,just emanating dark waves of furious doom

·        They’re so tangible for a second you worry they might stain thewalls

·        “She’s mine,” he hisses into the receiver, “and I’m notgonna let you lay a single hand on her.”

·        “Well…” the voice answers, “that’s fine and all but I’m herbrother so we do occasionally hug sometimes.”

·        Saeran had already prepared a nasty comeback, but he wasn’texpecting the call to be from your family

·        “Ah uh, okay bye,” he grunts instead  in an awkward manner,before promptly hanging up

·        “Um…Saeran…I kinda really needed to talk to him though…”

·        He whips his gaze towards you

·        “The….” he chokes, his eyes wide 

·        “Huh???”

·        “The what???? Hug?????” hefinally whispers, seeming if not a bit panicked by the thought such a thing existing

·        you stare at each other blankly for a brief minute before youdouble up in laughter because

·        a) he looks like a startled, edgy cat b) he’s in your fucking kitchen cabinets and c) the what??? hug??? wassomething you never thought would come out of his mouth

·        but he gets so sour about you laughing at him that he refuses toleave his perch for the next two hours

·        #spends the whole time thinking about you hugging him

·        *cue the blushies*

·        wants to try this ‘hugging’ ordeal

[wildchildfreecs]

Me and some friends came up with a Really Awful (GREAT) au, where things hurt and Gon turns dark side. I’m posting the partially edited chat log instead of summarizing ‘cause I’m lazy af, but this will be added to my Verse’s list. I just have to think of a tag

If you’re interested in RPing something from this sorta AU, please hit me up, I’d absolutely love to.

gabriel the gondad - gon is the PERFECT example of someone who could have ended up REally, REAALLLY dark but didnt, out of sheer luck of his upbringing 

can -  yeah, and if he went to hisoka for training oh my gosh

Café con Leche -  ^^ OMG i'd love to read that

can - the poor boy would do a 180

gabriel the gondad -  c h r i s t please? ? ? henckin??? ohhh man fucknign please i LOVE hisoka corrupting gons morals i love gons morals being corrupted but i love hisoka doing it even more chefs kiss and Poor Killua watching his light turn black and ugly

Café con Leche - omg yes it would corrupt him so much cain what if he tries to kill Hisoka

can - and that would make killua go back to his family

gabriel the gondad -  O h h h h

can -  omg

gabriel the gondad -  oh this is good

can -  WHAT IF HE CORRUPTS GON SO MUCH THAT

Café con Leche -  OH MY GOS

can -  GON STANDS IN BETWEEN THEM TO PROTECT HISOKA

gabriel the gondad - DFDF

Café con Leche - WHAT IF

gabriel the gondad -  GUCK

Café con Leche -  YES BUT ALSO lISTEN what if Hisoka completely fucks killua up And Gon walks in and just looks at him

gabriel the gondad - and doesnt care

Café con Leche -  all bloody on the ground YES

can -  YESSS

gabriel the gondad -  "You did this to yourself, Killua."

Café con Leche -  And Killua weeps and reaches out for him

gabriel the gondad - and gon Leaves

can -  And then cue illumi like "see this is why i said assassins dont have friends"

Café con Leche -  Illumi saves him

gabriel the gondad -  C H RI ST

Café con Leche -  and Killua goes back home clad in darkness AND OMG WHAT IF FUCKING ALLUKA TRIES TO PERSUADE GON

gabriel the gondad -  C H R I S T ALLUKA NO oh o h n o what if killua makes a wish

Café con Leche -  OOOH oh my god what if his wish brings Gon back but gon realizes what he's done

gabriel the gondad -  gon still REmembers and he wont forgive himself

Café con Leche -  and he can bear to live with himself BUT he has to save killua

gabriel the gondad -  ooooooooo c hrist c h r i s t the Drama the Pain I Love It

Café con Leche -  and hisoka and illu just keeps trying to keep tem corrupted them* and gon sees killua again and killua is just ice cold, dead in the eyes

gabriel the gondad -  WHAT IF.... KILLUA.. yes Y E S

Café con Leche -  and gon knows its all his fault it's like kite all over again f uck

can -  and hisoka is like, "this is why you shouldn't put your faith in other people~ only live for yourself and your own pleasures"

Café con Leche -  Hisoka whispering in Gon's ear how it's all his fault and he should just accept it

gabriel the gondad - this is,, So Good im eating my own fist OK BUT LISTEN CONSIDER hisoka telling gon "this is your fault. this is why you should live for only yourself" and gon turns around and punches hisoka in the face with as much nen as he can muster and says "if i live for myself, I'm killing you first." bc hisokas the one. that did this to him

can -  hisoka would be LIVID And all hisoka has to say once Gon is dead is "Pity~ He wasn't nearly as ripe as I'd hoped. Such a waste."    

Café con Leche - Imagine if killua just watches Gon and Hisoka    slowly but surely once he sees Gon near death he's returning to some of his consciousness and he cant live without his light and Illumi fucking loses it

gabriel the gondad -  c h r i s t ohhh my god

Café con Leche -  illumi tries to kill hisoka gabriel the gondad - im Suffering ok but illumi would win b/c hisoka would already be injured from his fight w gon

can -  Hisoka would retreat after that he aint dumb

Café con Leche -  illumi would chase after him

gabriel the gondad -  illumi wouldnt fuckn Let Him

Café con Leche -  make it his life mission to kill him jesus this got dark

gabriel the gondad -  YOU DONT SAY

Café con Leche -  imagine Ging seeing his son so messed up

gabriel the gondad -  o h IMAGINE MITO

Café con Leche -  mito would blame ging it's his fault he wanted to be a hunter his fault he wasnt there for him

gabriel the gondad -  ffffffffuuuuuck ok but, where gon doesnt die he beats hisoka in his fight

can -  "Kill me, and you'll be just like me~"

gabriel the gondad -  and he takes killua with him, and they leave, and they go to ging, and gon says "please help me, i dont know what to do any more" gon doesnt kill him hes Very Particuar about that breaks both his legs, rips an arm off, whatever it takes but doesnt Kill him illumi can have that right, if he wants it

Boopi -  oh

gabriel the gondad -  HI BOOPI WEVE BEEN. PLOTTING

Boopi -  plotting about wut- e.e

gabriel the gondad -  plotting about corruption

Boopi -  corruption- i- see- exiTS

gabriel the gondad -  BOOPI NO COME B A C K

Boopi -  corruption and alluka can not be within the same conversatioN-

gabriel the gondad -  listen alluka is the one who fixes everything shes still pure and wholesome

Boopi -  okay so what i understand is gon is all dark and moody and killua is suffering more gon x hisoka new evil double duo illumi and killua bonding and alluka flies down from the heavens as an angel to fix everything and re-create killugon

gabriel the gondad - she tries to recreate killugon but you cant erase the past so its still all fucked up and moody

Boopi -  does trying make it w orse cause what a twist

gabriel the gondad -  i meannnn,,,, define worse

Boopi -  dang is this au that dark

gabriel the gondad -  :^)

Boopi -  if everyone is gonna be dark/angst/whatever this is i am perfectly okey with this sad/wise alluka ftw

gabriel the gondad -  if by worse you mean it hurts, because one of the possibilies is gon and killua die but also the possibilty they win the fight against hisoka and have to deal with the fallout of all their decisions and wrongdoings or would worse be they never speak again, and both continue along their paths of killing and being perfect imitations of hisoka and illumi

Boopi -  omg allu's stuck in-between

gabriel the gondad -  :^) i, personally, think that killua would make a wish to fix everything but nanikas power isnt omnipotent all she can do is get gon to realize where he fucked up and from there, its up to him to try and fix it (whether or not he can is a completely different story.)

Boopi -  okay so how would alluka act with everything's different? shouldn't she be affected by it too

gabriel the gondad -  THATS. ALSO SOMETHIN I WAS WORRIED ABOUT

can -  i mean

Boopi -  maybe not nanika, but allu

can -  she probably will lose her brother and get locked up again

Café con Leche -  AND KILLUA DOESNT CARE AAAAAAAAAAAAH

gabriel the gondad -  yeah, unless she escapes she'll prob get locked up again

Boopi -  if killua doesn't care then illumi is free to do whatever

gabriel the gondad -  id say its possible that,, killua does what he can to free her so he can still have one light in the world like, before he goes back to the family, he hides alluka away  

can -  if killua calls her something bad like

Boopi -  "it"

can -  "that thing isnt apart of the family"

Café con Leche -  Illumi: So Killua, what do we do with "it"? Killua: .. Do whatever u want jesus but yes i hear u gabe¨

Boopi -  can you even imagine a dark alluka

gabriel the gondad -  n o

Café con Leche -  ALLUKA

gabriel the gondad -  not my gentle sweet sunshine

can -  y es

gabriel the gondad -  n o N   O

Café con Leche -  gets corrupted cuz she loses HER light

can -  she will giggle when she kills ppl

Boopi -  just an alluka that's lost hope and enjoys the killing

Café con Leche -  omg omg boopi what if Alluka get's corrupted and starts killing because she wants to be useful to Killua

Boopi -  alluka or nanika? or both

Café con Leche -  both

Boopi -  bOTH

Café con Leche -  Alluka tells Nanika to kill people and then asks Killua to pat her head aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Boopi -  just imagine Alluka's holding [insert character name]'s head here "Killua... Pat my head and tell me I'm a good girl..." and she just creepily smiles while walking towards him with the head casually omg i srry

Café con Leche -  omg what if one day she's like "Killua... Want Gon to die?"

gabriel the gondad -  O H

Boopi -  cHILL wi dark alluka refers to herself like she's an object t h o

can -  O H M Y GOD

Café con Leche -  ......... oh my go d

can -  "I'm an object that you can use, big brother~"

gabriel the gondad -  this got a w f u l l y dark

Boopi -  "Do not worry over my feelings, big brother. I feel nothing. It feels nothing." geebus christ

Café con Leche -  imagine kurapika's roll in this

gabriel the gondad -  O H pika watching gon turn into the exact type of person he despises just like the troupe trained by an ex-troupe member killing for sport, just to get stronger, just to prove he can kill them

Café con Leche -  oMG

gabriel the gondad -  OH WHAT IF.... HISOKA..... TELLS.... GON.... TO... kill his old friends

Café con Leche -  kp is a maffia boss right.... What if Killua get's a mission to assassinate him..

Boopi -  nO not the friends pls

gabriel the gondad -  LSTIEN GON KILLING LEORIO

Boopi -  NU

can -  AAAAAAAA

Café con Leche -  yas

Boopi -  NOT THE OREO

gabriel the gondad - walks Right Up to leorio, nen out and boiling like it was with pitou and oreo, poor oreo, laughing, trying to understand whats wrong

Café con Leche -  Gabe gabe gabe even worse he crushes his hands, makes him unable to ever become a doctor

gabriel the gondad -  hmmm good angst, but also, i feel like, gons goal would be to Remove leorio as a tie

Café con Leche - Sasuke style

gabriel the gondad -  i never watched shippuden :0

Boopi - sasuke tried to sever all his old bonds i think

gabriel the gondad -  yeah basically that kill everyone who was important to you,  so they cant be used against you gon, punching a hole through leorios ribcage, becase he doesnt have killuas technique of ripping the heart out so he just obliterates it instead leorio dying and looking up at gon and saying "i forgive you”

Boopi - stop you're hurting me

gabriel the gondad -  leorio WOULD forgive him tho this got really out of hand, really fast