#I tried reading the wiki for them because I love reading wiki pages for horror movies I’m never gonna watch

[deityofhearts]

debating seeking out one of my mutuals who likes saw so they can info dump about saw to me because I hate gore and when I watched the movies in the past when I was younger they terrified and haunted me for years until I decided I don’t care enough to be bothered but I’m also. not going to ever watch another saw movie again if I can help it but the mutuals are saw posting daily and I’m like ✨👀 what is the context what does this mean what does the shitty steel mean what’s happening

[misc-obeyme]

i just had a major breakthrough last night and wrote four pages of bullet points with random plot ideas, scenarios, and dialogue in my sketchbook 😅 IT WAS SO LATE AT NIGHT I CAN BARELY READ MY OWN HANDWRITING

I'm still trying to figure out the proper term, but Solomon is majoring in music composition !! Wiki says his favorite genre is classical music, and I like the idea he would want to create his own. His main instrument is piano !! But he has basic knowledge of guitar and the violin. (It'll be mainly running into the coffee shop together separately and living their lives, but once they get closer, Sol tries teaching me piano because i wanted to learn- THERE'S A BACKSTORY TO THIS AND ANOTHER PLOT IDEA !!!)

Simeon is also studying at the same college, and is writing TSL online. He has his own website, and Solomon creates pieces to go along with scenes in the book. (This is a whole other plot point)

I think right now it's going "Horror Night/Realizations" (the three of them going to see a movie that Solomon was excited to see, end up at a diner afterwards) -> "Burned CD's/Mammon Playlist Drama" (hehehe- WAIT IT'S NOT ANGST, GOTTA CLARIFY THE RECORD STORE DOES N O T BURN DOWN) -> "Halloween Party w/ Asmo" (A vampire, a werewolf, and a devil. What could go wrong? Or right? 👀) -> "Retail Therapy/Talks" (bookstores are a girl's best friend)

I haven't decided what role every character will play, but Levi makes an appearance with the CD stuff, Asmo throws the party and is studying to be a fashion designer, Satan owns a bookstore that I frequently visit (ANOTHER PLOT POINT AHAH), and Lucifer makes another appearance.

i keep writing things down and then getting more ideas and it feels like one big web, BUT IT'S ALL CONNECTED !! This is so much fun !! So technically yes, apprentice ish on the side, and Mammon does confess (kinda). I HAVE THIS PLANNED OUT BUT I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO GET LONG (IT DID ANYWAY), I JUST WANTED TO SHARE BECAUSE I'M WRITING THIS AS I GET READY FOR WORK AJDJJSD OKAY BYEEE

- ✨ anon

Wow this really is turning into an epic love story for the ages!! I love it lol!

Ohhhh music major, eh?!? My main instrument is also the piano! What a coincidence! Okay, actually, that's really easy to figure out considering my OC is a music demon and he is also known for his piano skills alskdfj. But Arsenios is a demon so he has magical talent that allows him to play any instrument. He's like everything I wish I could be as a musician lol!!! But anyway, got a bit sidetracked there, sorry. I love Solomon as a composer. That just feels like something he'd get lost in, you know? Music can be simple, but it can also be really complicated. And just imagine that guy getting lost in writing some kinda orchestral masterpiece... Or if he did a little conducting too, that baton is basically a magic wand...

Anyway, I love how we're getting all the other characters involved now, too!

See, you've already got the timeline, too!

I mean, what you're doing right now is basically outlining a story! I never outline anything because I am a degenerate, but that's exactly the kinda thing that a lot of people do before writing. So you're setting yourself up for success, I'd say! I mean, it's all whatever, writing is a personal process!

I'm loving your ideas and I'm loving the enthusiasm!! This right here is exactly why I write - because it's fun!

I hope you continue to enjoy coming up with ideas and if you do decide to write it, I hope you enjoy yourself!!

[valentinesweetheartspecial]

If you're still taking asks about AAside I want to know more about Tadaomi. I've been told things and he seems like a character who would do something to my brain

I will always take AAside asks Oh god Tadaomi. He will absolutely do wonders on anyone’s brain I don’t know how beneficial or detrimental or would be to get obsessed with him though. I will do my best because even with my knowledge I can only scrape the surface of the Tadaomi horrors

Tadaomi Kurama is Epsilon’s synthesizerist (?)he plays the synth, and is in his 3rd year of high school along with Reiji, making him 17 years old. A seemingly well adjusted young man who claims not to know what dislikes are and enjoys human observation. To quote his wiki page, “What is music? What is a band? What are people? To answer those questions he goes to school, joins a band, and plays music.” He’s 5’11, which means is he is So Close to being 6’0.

Tadaomi is, and I can say this with the utmost confidence, Probably the most fucked up member of Epsilon. And, as far as I understand, FOR NO EXPLAINED REASON? Trust me, of all the AAside fans, epsilon fans are the ones that love to fill up wiki pages to the brim and write essays, yet his wiki is relatively bare and I don’t often see anything huge about him. He is genuinely just like that for some unexplained reasons. Maybe I’m not well read enough, OR MAYBE HE IS JUST THAT MYSTERIOUS. It could very well be either because I’m kind of under qualified

Anyways, Tadaomi. He’s a 17 year old boy who claims he’s just learning a lot of really basic things, such as happiness, sadness, likes, dislikes, friendship, music, and more. I would like to say that, assuming he’s not lying, he does have parents that he spends time with, and has been going to school and shit like he hasn’t grown up under a rock I THINK. He observes others, but he doesn’t stop at observation, and chooses to deliberately become involved with others in a multitude of ways to observe their reactions. He claims that he wants to learn from their reactions, and fully understand what it means to be “happy”, “sad”, etc. Of course, this doesn’t mean he enjoys making rainbows to watch his friends smile, it means he likes doing the most fucked up shit a person could do so he can make people suffer, and then watch with a smile as they curse him. His actions serve to both reveal more about other characters, usually their sad backstories, and further show us just how fucked up he is. A tame example of this is when he kept observing Shu and then one day, to his face he was like “Oh I get it now! You just want your dad to love you”, and a extreme example is when he befriended Tomoru and then tried to snap his spine in half to watch him writhe in pain and probably eventually die. Tadaomi would absolutely kill his close friends, not just to know how it feels, but to watch them feel the betrayal of their relationship. I can only pray that Kimisute explains something about him. He’s crazy

Thank you so much for this ask dearest Kiara. I hope you like and or hate Tadaomi now

I call that last row Tadaomi observation compilation

[everlasting-elegy]

Hi! Congratulations!! I'm truly happy for you!!

So— for your event, may I please request ❤️ + Yuta Aoi? Thanks in advance!

Thank you!! Not gonna lie, I dunno about this one, lads.  I’ve studied Yuta’s wiki page down to each letter and found as many translations about him and I just can’t pin him down. Still, I hope you enjoy, dear anon and everyone else who reads~

Yuta Aoi x Reader: One Day I'll Say How Much I Love You (500 Followers Event)

❤️ Prompt: “I like you. No, that’s a lie. The truth is I really love you.” Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1.6k

Yuta doesn’t know how his brother can do it. How he can say such words so freely, likely because there is no double meaning in his words. When you bid goodbye to the twins, Hinata didn’t spare a second to obnoxiously shout at your turned figure.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan!”

Both you and Yuta turned to Hinata. The surprise was clear on your face but you only laughed heartily as you responded in kind. Then there was the silence. Yuta could’ve sworn it lasted for years, a tangible heaviness that pressed down on his chest. Your gaze was on Hinata but the way your body and face was angled towards Yuta told him what you were hoping for. For Hinata, such an exclamation was a pure expression of platonic love, there was nothing deeper to consider. But for Yuta… he could never say such words without betraying how he really felt. The words were stuck in his throat as even Hinata turned to him with raised eyebrows and a cheeky grin. He needed to say something, anything. He tried to speak but stuttered, he then cleared his throat only to stumble over his words again.

“Get home safe!” Yuta said quickly. He didn’t miss how your shoulders dropped, nor how his heart dropped with it. You smiled back, reciprocating the same sentiment before leaving. When you were out of earshot, Yuta’s posture slumped and he let out a sigh of despair as his brother patted his back sympathetically.

“Let me show (Y/N)-chan just how much we care about them until you can bring yourself to do it too!”

Hinata offered a reassuring smile but the solemn look Yuta sent back told him he was anything but comforted. It just wasn’t the same. He wanted to be the one to say such words to you, he wanted to receive your smile and he wanted you to say those words back.

Alas, it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon as Yuta struggled through every single goodbye and compliment meanwhile you and Hinata had the strength to use that dreaded phrase that Yuta could barely choke out. Hinata was nothing but understanding as he consoled his little brother as he could do nothing but reply with lackluster alternatives for the next few weeks.

“G-Goodbye, (Y/N)!”

“You look… uh… super, cool! Yeah…”

“You’re really neat, (Y/N)-chan!”

With every strained smile you returned, Yuta just wanted the earth to swallow him whole. He needed to fix this, he needed to be able to say it to you. That word, it was only four letters and a single syllable, it had no right to be this hard to get his lips around. And so, Yuta was left with no option but to stand in his dorm’s bathroom, practicing to say what Hinata could say to you, word for word.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan!” No, trying to match his brother’s energy felt too forced.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan.” No, the tone was too dull.

“Love you, (Y/N).” It sounds like he’s actually trying to confess, he has to play this off as casual and platonic!

“You know, you have to begin with ‘I’ or else they’re not going to take the confession seriously.”

Yuta could only stare at his roommate Kaoru in horror as he stood at the doorway. There wasn’t even time for Kaoru to chuckle before he promptly received a door to the face.

But with enough time, dedication, and a pep talk in front of the mirror, Yuta could do it. On a sunny afternoon, skies crystal clear and the birds singing their praises for him, the world was encouraging him to say the faithful phrase as you parted ways from the twins.

“Love you, (Y/N)-chan,” Yuta waved at you, his sentence finishing with a heavy exhale. Hinata stifled a cheer as you turned back to look at Yuta. He couldn’t breathe as he succumbed to your gaze but he wasn’t going to complain. The way the edges of your eyes crinkled as you offered him a dazzling smile.

“Love you too, Yuta!”

That single phrase was one he burned into his memory to replay whenever he needed it. Your voice carrying with the wind as you freely proclaimed your affection for him, this could be one of the happiest days in his life!

So why did the weight in his chest never leave? Why did his heart still tighten as you turned your back to him and headed home? Why did his brother's encouraging smile only make him feel more bitter?

The next day, after a sleepless night, Yuta had nothing to do but sulk in his dorm. Hinata had asked you to watch him practice and Yuta usually joined but he was in no mood to see the two of you get along so freely. Every once in a while, his heart felt so unbearably heavy he had to let out a whine as Kaoru and his other roommate, Nagisa, watched over curiously. They had tried to approach him but Yuta was adamant that he was okay. What else could he say? He wasn’t even sure why he felt so upset, having nothing else to do but hope that this melancholy phase would pass. With nothing else to do, Yuta tuned in to Kaoru and Nagisa's voices as they struck up conversation.

“Say, Nagisa,” Kaoru stated rather loudly, projecting his voice for all in the room to hear. “Are you having any romantic struggles?”

“... what?” Yuta could hear Nagisa’s frown in his confused tone. “Of course not-”

“Yes you are, I can see it in your face.”

“What’s on my face-?”

“You know what advice I give to my dear juniors with romantic struggles?”

“I'm not even your junior... oh. No, I don’t know what advice you would give. Do enlighten me.”

“Just confess.”

Yuta lifted his face from the pillow, only to see Kaoru and Nagisa still watching him. With the knowing smirk on Kaoru’s face and the firm nod Nagisa offered Yuta, it was clear Nagisa wasn’t who this conversation was for.

“Even if rejection hurts, even if just getting the words out to confess is hard, it’ll be worth it. If you don’t confess, you’ll be constantly held back by doubt and insecurity. It’s too painful to bite back what you want to say or to cover it up, so just let it all out.”

“That sounds like excellent advice, Kaoru.”

Could that really be it? The reason why his stomach won’t stop churning, the reason why he feels so solemn despite his heart not being broken. Being able to bid you goodbye wasn’t enough, he still had so much to say to you. Standing up, Yuta threw his pillow away and silently left the dorms, leaving Nagisa and Kaoru alone.

“... is it still on my face?”

“... huh?”

Shoes slamming against concrete, Yuta ignored the inquisitive glances of the other idols he ran past. You and Hinata should still be practicing at the studio, he should be able to make it in time. Ignoring the lactic acid building up in his joints, every stair he climbed becoming more painful and seemingly larger than the last. One step at a time he was getting closer to you, getting closer to what he needed to say…

The studio door swung open with a bang as it rebounded off the wall. You turned away from Hinata to see Yuta standing by the doorway, chest heaving, face red as he stared at you with wide eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

Yuta couldn’t help but feel satisfied at how you looked so lost for words, your widening eyes looking away from him. His sweet revenge, this was what you got for taking his breath away for so long.

“D-don’t we say those sort of things as a goodbye?” You asked with a nervous chuckle.

“That’s not enough,” Yuta replied. “I can’t keep saying it like we’re friends. The truth is, I really love you. I don’t want to just say it in passing, I want to say it to you honestly and seriously.”

Pacing up to you, Yuta clasped your hands in his, emerald eyes shining in hope. “I love you. Please, can I be your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

You didn’t waste a second to pull him into an embrace, Yuta eagerly pressing his body against yours. As one of your hands laced through his orange locks, another reached down to intertwine your fingers with his. His cheek against yours, his ear was right by your lips to whisper an ‘I love you’ back. You didn’t miss the way he positively buzzed at your confession, letting out a giggle as he pulled his face away to brush his lips against your cheek.

“Guess you’re going to practise with my cutest little brother now, what a shame~” Hinata sighed melodramatically, making you yelp in surprise, completely forgetting he was still in the room. You tried to step back but Yuta held onto you, rooting you to the spot in front of him. Hinata laughed as he bid the two of you goodbye, skipping out of the room.

“I love you, (Y/N)-chan,” Yuta confessed again, with a slight tug of his arms to bring your attention away from the doorway and back to him. Finally, the thorns that gripped his heart had withered away, he felt like he was soaring the more he held onto you. There was no more uncertainty, no fear of rejection, just all the words he was waiting to say to you, now free after being imprisoned in his heart.

500 Followers Event Masterlist

Ensemble Stars!! Masterlist

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part two

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

The Man Comes Around

Over at the Wen Indoctrination Tower, which seems to exist just to torture Lan Wangji with stair climbing, Lan Wangji is climbing the stairs. Too bad his cultivation level is too low to be able to just jump up. At least this time his leg isn't broken.

This is the first vengeful stair-climb in the show, but not the last. (Parallel gifset here).

The Wen guards are stationed all the way at the pinnacle of this tower to guard...what? Why are they not at the bottom of the stairs? What is this location for, actually? This is further up the stairs than the scenes with the indoctrination lectures. Anyway, it's been three months since Wen Chao threw Wei Wuxian into the burial mounds, so naturally these guards are talking about that exact thing as Lan Wangji approaches.

Lan Wangji knocks them all down with a blast from his guqin. Did you know his guqin is named Wangji, by the way? It is. A guy who is that lazy about naming his quqin maybe shouldn't feel so superior to a guy who named his sword "whatever." 

(I'm suddenly remembering a plush lamb I had as a child, whose eyes were orange, that I named "orange eyes.") (I, however, was three. And I had a lot of plush lambs. Little ones. Grown-ups found it hilarious to give them to me.) (Native speakers of English can probably guess what OP's real name is. Hint: it rhymes with Canary.) (Everybody else: there is a kid's rhyming song called Mary Had A Little Lamb. OP's name is Mary.)

Anyhoo, after Lan Wangji is finally finished with his dramatic entrance, Jiang Cheng comes flying in from wherever he's been hovering for the past 20 minutes of stair time. A bunch of Lan sidekicks also flood into the frame from wherever they were hiding during the wide shots of LWJ on the staircase.

In case you hope that CQL Lan Wangji is as much of a top (offscreen) as MZDS Lan Wangji is (on the page), here's a gif for you.

(more after the cut)

He uses the patented Lan string attack to choke this guard.  Lan Wangji doesn't have to hold a guqin string in his hands to choke someone with it. He doesn't even have to tighten it, judging by how absurdly not-tight this string is.

Or maybe this guy is choking on the chin strap of his helmet. This is exactly how OP's son reacts when OP sticks a bike helmet on him. (Note: it's GOOD that they are following choking safety protocols on set. Very good. However, they could have just left the string out and pretended, and it would look better, in this instance)

The Wen guard tells Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng about the whole "thrown into the burial mounds" thing.  Team Let's Find Wei Wuxian is not happy to hear this.

A Vengeful Ghost

Meanwhile, in some Wen office somewhere? Where the hell is this? Yiling, we get an ominous shot of the rooftops where Wei Wuxian is lurking and then we see Wang Lingjiao trying to sleep and having a nightmare.

Wang Lingjiao has gone to sleep with a full face of makeup on instead of washing her face before bed. She has forgotten the important maxim, Go To Sleep Pretty, Wake Up Zitty.

She leaps out of bed to go cling to Wen Chao and freak out about Wei Wuxian's ghost. Wen Chao is trying to read the sports section and has clearly had enough of this crap. This has presumably been going on for a little while now.

Wang Lingjiao is in a new outfit, which is...pajamas? It has the feel of a 1930's French peignoir set, and it's much more softly colored than her usual bright red-purple combo. If this is her pajamas is it weird that her day clothes are a lot more aggressively sexy-looking than her nightgown? A freak in the streets but a lady in the sheets.

Wen Chao rants about the Sunshot Campaign and talks some smack about Wen Qing, and then leaves to go to the bar and watch the game with Wen Zhuliu. After he leaves Wang Lingjiao freaks out for a bit and then looks at the notice he was reading.

The notice basically says that the Sunshot Campaign is kicking their ass. She should be proud for inspiring the name of the campaign with that kite-shooting bullshit she made up at Lotus Pier. Before slaughtering everyone.

No Matter What You Do, I Only Want To Be With You

Back at the Indoctrination Tower, Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng are having feelings about Wei Wuxian. Jiang Chang does all the talking but Lan Wangji's thoughts are louder because a sad violin is playing Wangxian while they talk.

Jiang Cheng tells Lan Wangji about their meetup plan and says he thought WWX had dumped him to go find Lan Wangji in Lanling. Lan Wangji telepathically indicates that this didn’t happen. This means two things: 1. Lan Wangji has been hanging out in Lanling, where Jiang Yanli has been hanging out, so maybe they have bonded over the past 3 months and 2. This is the first time Jiang Cheng has talked to Lan Wangji since Wei Wuxian disappeared. 

Much as my fic-loving heart would like to believe these two spent three months on the road together looking for Wei Wuxian, in fact they are both important high-level fighters in an active military campaign, and Lan Wangji was busy taking back the Cloud Recesses while Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were having elective surgery. They probably both were assigned to the "Indoctrination Bureau" mission and this is the first chance they've had to talk about Wei Wuxian.

Is it heartbreaking that, while Wei Wuxian was helplessly getting his ass beat because he'd sacrificed his golden core for Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng believed Wei Wuxian had abandoned him for Lan Wangji? Yes. Yes it is.

For some reason Jiang Cheng is hesitant to believe that Wei Wuxian really was thrown into the Burial Mounds. I mean, I understand not wanting to believe Wei Wuxian is dead, but given that Wen Chao is the dude who oversaw the massacre of all of the people at Lotus Pier, including kids, why would Jiang Cheng think his guards are wrong? Maybe he just feels like Wei Wuxian is invincible, since so far he kinda has been. 

The Sword is Mightier Than Not Having a Sword

While they've been chatting, the Lan disciples have found their swords. One disciple is holding Bichen (LWJ's sword), Sandu (JC's sword), and OP consults wiki Suihua (Jin Zixuan's sword). Another disciple is holding Subian (WWX's sword).  

Jiang Cheng grabs Sandu while the Lan disciples, who apparently know their gongzi’s heart, offer Wei Wuxian's sword to Lan Wangji. 

Lan Wangji takes Subian (Bichen: What am I, chopped watercress?) and immediately tries to draw it. Like you don't do. It's sealed itself, which apparently means that it's upset. It's unclear if it's upset because Wei Wuxian is dead or if it just misses him, however.  

Lan Wangji definitely misses him, and wonders, out loud inside his own head, where Wei Wuxian is. Um, he's in the Burial Mounds, dude, they just told you. Well, I guess he's actually in Yiling proper at this point, haunting Wang Lingjiao as he promised her he would.

Twa Corbies

The scene shifts to Qinghe, where there are about 12 dead bodies lying around, which in this show means that there are really a few hundred. In fact, per Jiang Yanli's statement "nothing can be seen but corpses covering the plains." The camera can't see most of them, is all.

Wen Xu's head is hanging in the doorway, and the Jins talk about how Nie Mingjue killed him, cutting his head off with just one swing. Is this foreshadowing anything, like perhaps someone else's head being cut off by Baxia in just one swing? Nope, definitely not.

A couple of crows are perched on a body, totally not eating it, but Jin Zixuan gallantly zaps them with a talisman to make them fly away anyway.  It might be noteworthy that nobody used to use talismans but gradually more and more people are using them - particularly people who have spent time with Wei Wuxian.

With mony a lock of his golden hair-o, we’ll theek our nest when it grows bare-o

Asshole cousin Jin Zixun says “scavenger rights,” so Jin Zixuan puts him in charge of collecting all the bodies. 

Since OP just finished watching fur-collar-happy Nirvana in Fire, these crows look to me like they are wearing luxurious fur collars. Where OP lives, crows are not this fancy. 

A Romantic Corpse-Filled Interlude

Disaster het Jin Zixuan goes to help Jiang Yanli get out of the carriage but she rejects his hand just like he rejected hers back in Gusu.

Jiang Yanli is extremely shocked when she sees Wen Xu's severed head, and turns away in horror, preferring to calmly rest her eyes on dozens of crow-pecked corpses.

Jin Zixuan tries to comfort her and she tells him she'll be going now, thanks for the hospitality. He tries to say that he has to personally deliver her to a representative of the patriarchy one of her brothers, but then one of her brothers shows up.

Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng arrive, having presumably flown there from Qishan. They show that they are flying by blowing a fan on the ground and then jumping off of a box, which is better than the effects we were subjected to earlier in the episode.

Jiang Cheng rushes over to have an emotional reunion with Jiang Yanli, while Lan Wangji rushes over to have an emotional reunion with Wen Xu’s severed head. Jin Zixuan kind of spoils it for him by talking about Wei Wuxian's absence while Lan Wangji is trying to have a moment.

The whole time Jin Zixuan is talking to him, Lan Wangji appears to be gazing into the middle distance but in fact he is staring at Wen Xu's severed head. This is the guy who led the burning of Cloud Recesses, killed a bunch of disciples, and personally broke Lan Wangji's leg. Lan Wangji stares at his head for more than a full minute before glancing away.

Jiang Yanli hasn't seen Jiang Cheng since they were in Wen Qing's clinic, and she is happy he's recovered. When she asks about Wei Wuxian he gives her the bad news in the classic Jiang fashion, which is to say nothing, but look stricken until your interlocutor figures out that something is horribly wrong, but not precisely what.

Four Angry Men

Inside the fortress, Nie Mingjue is slapping the table and saying, this bad boy can hold so much resentment and vengeance. They're having a mini war council and we're getting a better sense of Nie Mingjue's anger management problem. Note for those who don't get the gif reference: this is a The Godfather joke, not a sex joke, but it can be both, if you like.

We're also getting a little more info about Baxia, who seems to be eager to go fight even without anyone wielding it. (Her? Him? Them? do swords have gender? I don't know). Well done, person below the camera frame whose job is to rattle Baxia in a menacing manner.

They've got a giant model of the battle targets, which looks like it was carved out of real rock (I mean, as much as any of the rocks on this show look like real rocks) and has its own table and everything, decorated in Nie colors. Where was this before they took Qinghe back? Has Nie Mingjue been traveling with it? 

Anyway, I'm assuming Nie Huaisang made it, because it's pretty nice. Hopefully they will keep it around for tabletop gaming after the war is over.

Jiang Cheng is upset but is using his anger management mantra to help control his temper while Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji talk with Nie Mingjue. 

Lan Wangji talks by leaning forward meaningfully, mostly not by using any words, but he asks for a battle assignment and Jiang Cheng immediately joins in. They both want to go find Wei Wuxian. 

Nie Mingjue says Yiling is too difficult of a target, but Lan Wangji puts on his determined face, which is apparently very persuasive.  

After Team Find Wei Wuxian leaves, Nie Mingjue asks Jin Zixuan to hang back so he can ask him how Meng Yao is doing. This is the first time he finds out that his ex didn't go to Lanling. Jin Zixuan tries to delicately remind him that Dad's got, like, SO many bastard children, they really don't have space for all of them. Nie Mingjue dismisses him immediately and abruptly. 

Nie Mingjue might invite the straights to his party but he isn't interested in actually socializing with them.

Unconditional Soup is Only for A-Xian

Jiang Cheng can't sleep, and takes some time, now, to be sad about Wei Wuxian. Presumably he spent the prior 3 months being mad, not sad, because he really thought he just buggered off without saying anything for all that time. Which is sort of fair, but sort of not. One thing about these two bros is that for as close as they have been and as much as they love each other, their mutual understanding has some big, messy gaps.

Fortunately while he is feeling sad, Jiang Cheng does not try to draw Subian from its sheath, because wouldn't THAT be awkward.

Jiang Yanli can't sleep either, and comes to sit with him. Jiang Cheng feels bad that she's wearing herself out with worry and she says "As your sister, I have nothing to do but to worry about you." Jiang Yanli isn't one to complain but she doesn't like being inactive or helpless. In Lanling she was far from the war, but now that she's in Qinghe she'll make herself useful by tending the wounded, and later she'll help Jiang Cheng shoulder his responsibilities as he takes over the Jiang clan.

At the moment, however, all she can do is fret and make soup. As she gives Jiang Cheng a bowlful she reminds him that he absolutely has to rescue their brother who has, according to his captors, been reduced to bone dust.

With all the impossible shit that Jiang Cheng is expected to achieve - and in many instances, does achieve - he is absolutely the embodiment of the Jiang Clan's motto. Fuck his father for disrespecting him because he hadn't figured out how to do everything by the age of 16.

Definitely Not Chilling in Yiling

Back in Yiling, Wen Chao is hearing the news that the Qishan Indoctrination Bureau has fallen and that he's being called back to Nightless City. Wen Chao says he shouldn't need to go back because his dad has a new right-hand man. That new right-hand man, we will eventually learn, is Meng Yao. Wang Lingjiao, meanwhile, is hiding under the bed covers and deciding it's time to dump Wen Chao.

She locks the door and goes to pull out her jewelry box, which is locked and hidden under the bed. Maybe this is Wen Chao's jewelry box, because she acts kind of squirrely about opening it. Upon opening the jewelry box, she doesn't find jewelry but a pair of bloody fake eyeballs staring at her.  She screams and freaks out and then the wind picks up and we hear the sound of a flute, playing the "I'm here to fuck your shit up" tune that Wei Wuxian likes.

Wang Lingjiao runs to the door and pulls down the protection talisman that's pasted above it, and pastes it directly to her chest instead, which is, we will learn in the next episode, the worst idea she could possibly have at this point.

Then she uses a poking stick to go flip the jewelry box open and finds it's full of ugly-ass jewelry again, plus an improbable number of weird round paper-mache biscuits that have been painted gold. None of this jewelry looks anything like the exquisite accessories people wear in this show, which means this stash was put together by the practical effects department, not by the costume department.

Anyway, Wang Lingjiao apparently thinks she can sell this fakeass stuff for a good price, so more power to her. But then we get a short glimpse of the menacing eyeballs again, this time on the floor, having moved out of the box and brought their little blood pool with them. Screeching ensues.

Next episode: Lady in Red!

Soundtrack: Twa Corbies, by Steeleye Span

[factual-fantasy]

I got 25 asks that took me WAY too long to reply to! :}

I have two top favorite episodes, the cone snail episode and the beluga whales episode.

When it comes to my favorite part of both episodes..?

..Not happy parts...

I have absolutely no idea what you just suggested.

(Referring to this post)

Thank you! That was the intention. :} I was worried that their faces all looked weird..

You want to learn more? Man.. maybe I should post that headcannon draft..

Yeah haha, this blog has taken quite the U-turn hasn’t it? I’m just glad everyone seems okay with it so far. <:} I’m excited for season 5 also! I hope it comes out soon! :D

THANK YOU, I WILL CHERISH THIS LOVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FOREVER

Yes and no.

Does he think of his crew as children? Absolutely not. They are all fully grown, intelligent and capable adults, and he darn well treats them like it.

But you bet that if one of them is in danger or is frightened, he’s dropping everything he’s doing and rushing to their aid as if they’re his cub that just wondered out onto the highway.

ME TOO! I always felt like he had this fatherly vibe to him with some professionalism sprinkled on top. Like he’s always looking out for his team because he cares for them and worries about them, but its kind of disguised as him just doing his job as the Captain.

I plan to draw more Protective Barnacles because its my jam, so don’t worry! That side of you will have some more fuel soon XD. And thank you for all the compliments! :}

Daww thank you, it twaz nothin. I’m just glad that people want to see my art.

Well, taking everyone into consideration, the tallest is Captain Barnacles, and the shortest is Tomminow. (This little guy 👇)

The Vegimals aside though? Peso is the shortest. 

(And thank you! I’m glad :})

Honestly? Awful. I feel like absolute garbage, I just hope this will all finally go away soon.

Not really no, and no thanks on the cookies, I shouldn’t eat anything until I get super hungry because everything gives me stomachaches.. But a hug would sure be nice right about now.

I can give you a link to their wiki pages if that’ll help, I’m not really good with my words and you can learn everything you need to know about them there. <:}

Captain Barnacles (The polar bear guy)

Kwazii (The orange pirate cat guy)

Peso (The bby Penguin doktor)

Shellington (Tall Otter boi)

Dashi (Doge girl with skirt)

Professor Inkling (Fancy squik)

Tweak (Green bunny country gal chick)

The Vegimals (Little veggie dudes)

All the Gups (Metal fishes)

The Octopod (Momma metal squik)

Whos the youngest Octonaut? Well, if we’re not including the Vegimals, I’d say its probably Peso. And the oldest is most likely Professor Inkling.

Does anyone have claustrophobia? Yes! Captain Barnacles canonically does. He got trapped in a deep hole in some icy caves as a cub, since then he’s been afraid of tight and closed in spaces. I have extended on that fact and thought of many different scenarios relating to the aftermath of the Octonauts movie, but you know.. still not confident in all this Octonauts stuff so I haven’t posted my headcannons yet. <:/

Novelas translated into English means Soap Opera.

You think so? I feel like that’s not Kwazii’s thing, he’d probably like horror movies and action filled movies. But Peso probably would like them not gonna lie, him and Dashi would probably watch them together.

Well, in my draft post I’ve got two headcannons for her so far.

Tweak likes sleeping in the launch bay for the #1 reason that she can hear the water sloshing around in the bay. Which mimics the sound the water in the swamp used to make when she lived there with her Dad.

Tweak gets bad migraines when she’s sick, so the other Octonauts have to do a lot to accommodate her. Because the beds in the med bay aren’t that soft, she prefers to sleep in her room when she’s sick. But then the usually comforting sounds of the water in the launch bay become pain inducing. So the launch bay is emptied of all its water, the lights are shut off and, unless its an emergency, no one is allowed in the launch bay until she recovers. 

I looked it up, and its true.

KWAZII WAS A GIRL IN THE BOOKS?? THEN WHY IS HE A BOY IN THE SHOW?? WHY DID THEY CHANGE THAT?? WH??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like this Kwazii more than I would any other version of him, but still, WHY’D THEY CHANGE THAT?? IM GLAD THEY DID BUT WHY??

Hmm.. let me think...

Captain Barnacles most likely doesn’t ever have uninterrupted free time, and even when he does, he probably still prefers to be up in HQ where anyone can find him if they need him. But lets say for the sake of it that he has some free time and he takes it. He’d probably either want to play his accordion, or want to read a book.

I feel like there’s a lot of different things Kwazii likes to do in his spare time, but goofing around in the Gup-B is probably his favorite.

Peso probably likes to do puzzles and play his xylophone.

Dashi probably reads books while listening to music. How she does both of these things at the same time I have no idea.

Tweak probably plays video games.

Professor Inkling and Shellington both probably read books in their free time.

I’m not too sure what the Vegimals would do in their free time though..

Oh yes, indeed it does. 

Before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts, Barnacles had to ask himself,  “Am I really ready to be their leader?” Can he handle managing a team of that size? Can he react to situations fast enough and make the right choices? He thought it through and believed that yes. He was ready.

But he wasn’t. He wasn't prepared for that gut wrenching anxiety when one crew member goes missing. He wasn't prepared for the crippling heat that most everywhere else has compared to his home. He wasn't prepared to become so attached to his crew that the thought of something happening to them keeps him awake for nights in a row. He wasn’t prepared for that overwhelming nausea of missing home and his sister. 

There was a lot he didn’t know. They’d all turn to him when something went wrong and ask if everything's going to be okay. He’d say “don’t worry, its all going to be okay.” but he’s just as unsure as everyone else.

Now don't get me wrong, he’s not this completely hopeless and unexperienced Captain that bit off more than he could chew, no. There’s just somethings he didn’t think about before becoming Captain of the Octonauts.

Now usually he can really keep himself composed almost always. He’s very level headed and very good at thinking his way through things, But sometimes? He just.. needs a break. He usually cant get a break because he’s the Captain and always needs to be alert, so everyone else that sees it usually tries to help.

Some crew members, like the Vegimals and Kwazii, have a habit of following the Captain around when they see that he’s tired to keep an eye on him. Others like Shellington and Dashi tend to give him space and keep things quiet for him. Some crew members, like Peso and Tweak tend to clean up around the place to take some weight off the Captains shoulders, they all help him out in some way.

Professor Inkling will sometimes find an excuse to pull him aside to have some tea with him. They’ll sit and talk for a bit but then he’s back up on his feet and back to work. This poor bear..

..hold on.. was this a drawing suggestion?

Dashi and Tweak would probably hang out in Dashi’s room and goof around. Not sure what they’d do.. maybe read, talk, play games or.. idk pillow fights? I don’t know what girls do on a girls night.

As for everyone else? I also am not sure, I don’t know what all those characters with all their clashing personalities would do on a boys night. Maybe they would all watch a movie? All attempt bake something obnoxious together? They seem like the kind of characters that would do that.

I’ve never been to a girls night or a guys night, so I don't really have much of a base to go off of.. but both groups would probably get together and do something they’d all enjoy. Guys maybe a funny movie, and the girls just talking and reading books? <:D 

For real that’d be hilarious. Imagine if their voices were deep and gruff too but they just make them sound high pitched for fun?

Dude that’d be so funny. Like Kwazii’s up to his shenanigans again blabbering on about some sea monster or what have you, and Tunip out of nowhere just goes,

“Kwazii legit stop, we all know that you’re just talking about some ordinary sea creature that pirates interpreted as a sea monster.“

The whole crew gon be like

If this game existed in their world and they all played it.....

Captain Barnacles would make it through a pacifist run and would be satisfied. He’s some kind of weirdo who doesn’t think of characters as real people and doesn’t obsess over them and cry about them. Overall he thinks the game is pretty neat, but probably not his type of game.

Kwazii would want to test his skills by attempting a genocide, but his heart of gold would get in the way and he wouldn’t be able to complete it. He’d feel terrible for killing goat mom, reset and go hard pacifist next round. Overall he thinks the game is awesome.

Peso would want to talk to every character so they’d all be included in the story. He’d go full pacifist and cry over the story and its characters. Overall 10/10 for him.

Dashi would probably cry over the game a lot and would never attempt a genocide run because the characters are now her family.

Shellington would hate the fighting parts so would delay those bits by walking around and talking to characters over and over again.

Tweak would go through a neutral run because she sometimes accidently kills weaker monsters. Overall she loves the story and its characters, 10/10 would play again.

Professor Inkling would become invested in the story I bet. Complimenting the story arcs for the characters and its creative game play. But I feel like he’d only play it once and probably wouldn’t beat it, but would have fun with it none the less.

Thank you!!!♡♡♡ Man, I never expected such a positive response to switching to Octonauts, I cant believe everyone is so excited about it! I’m so glad you like my Octonauts art, that really makes me feel better and like what I’m drawing is worth while. ɷ◡ɷ

Aww I’m glad! And oh yeah, the animals at the end were always scary. Remember the Boo the spookfish?

Boo was a cute little googly eyed fishy boi who was just so sweet and somft until the creATURE REPORT AND I-

THAT’S MY QUE TO YEET THE COMPUTER

Dawww thank you!! I tried. <:}

[fell-into-silence]

I am going to make this very clear about my blog. I am very open minded and believe that everyone has the right to like whatever/whoever they want to. I like listening to different opinions and I respect that not everyone will like the same things or agree on the same ideals either. I feel like that’s a generally positive way to look at things-I do not discriminate not judge a person no matter what race, color or sexuality. Nor do I judge people on what fandoms they like or characters both heroes and villains.

But as far as the fnaf community goes let’s be real; I do not approve of any character interactive or personal blog that displays William Afton as if his sins have been wiped clean and did no wrong and acting like he didn’t butcher/murder/torture literal CHILDREN and not one or two but DOZENS of fking children.

I do not support anyone who does this or has rp blogs with William having a ‘redemption arc’ There is NO such thing as redemption for a sick, twisted rusty crusty ass fucking cunt bitch that thinks it’s okay to torment and murder children and dump their bodies like GARBAGE into animatronic bodies for them to slowly rot with their families never knowing what horrors their kids went through.

Regardless of the fact that fnaf is fictional as are all its characters this case of children being offed of their life subscription is fucking REAL. These things happen in REAL life. To REAL people. And to glorify or act like you can just pretend that such a monster can get off with a ‘Oh he’s seen the error of his ways after murdering and torturing dozens of children he deserves to be given a clean slate and given a second chance because I like this character for some demented reason.’ Yeah guys, that’s totally not fucking concerning on your character as a real life person.

If any of you have these type of blogs or agree with them do not follow me. I don’t want any part of it. Do not try to instigate me with pathetic excuses to justify something that can’t be rectified as alright. I am a positive tumblrian and I do not endorse such monsters. I love angst and appreciate horror and gore-I also can empathize with villains and general bad guys and have a few that I like but I do not appreciate people who are possessive/obsessive over villain characters that murder people especially children. I get that it is fictional but that doesn’t make it okay just because it is.

Fictional works are inspired and based on the truth; exposing how dark the reality of this world really is.

Anyways sorry for the rant, I’m sick as heck but feeling heated-virus induced and rage wise lol if you’ve read this far thank you. End of rant.

Edit: Okay so maybe not the end yet-but to add further context as to why I highly dislike fans that present William in such a way (and rp him and run blogs of what I said above) there was a real life case of two girls (around 12/13yrs old) that lured their supposed younger (9/10ish) ‘friend’ out into the middle of a woods and brutally stabbed the little girl near to death (she survived by sheer will and guts of steel) and when caught and interrogated these fking crazy ass gremlins said they tried to murder her because of Slender Man-yup! A fictional character that is literally said to be fictional and has a wiki page saying so. THIS is why I do not condone anyone acting passively and obsessed over murderous fictional characters. Because what is meant to be imaginary is very REAL to someone else who doesn’t have the moral/mature mentality to comprehend that it is. Ok so real end of rant.

[little-ideas]

Disconnected

Here it is! Admittedly Homare and Hisoka are characters I struggle to comprehend, so I hope it’s alright ^^;

I did take some creative liberties with the prompt given Hisoka’s background or lack thereof. Thank you to @julias-cherry-garden​ for kindly answering my questions about Hisoka :D

Spoiler Warning: Information relating to Hisoka’s background. If you’ve read his wiki page then you’re fine though! 

Hope you enjoy! ^ w ^

HOMARE

It appears one day for Homare when he’s little, a red string on his pinky finger, accented with a cute little bow

He asked others about it, but they couldn’t see it

Then he hears the story of the Red String of Fate

He loves it

Once tried to follow it, but got lost

Got in to so much trouble

Vowed he would follow it later

But one day it disappeared

He desperately tries to figure out what happened

It was supposed to be unbreakable

Pours over any and all research he can

How he becomes desperately logical

Doesn’t help

Years have passed

If the sciences haven’t helped, then he’d try the arts

At this point it’s more of a crutch and he tries to ignore the pain

Relationships haven’t worked

He can’t understand others

BUT ONE DAY!!!

ONE DAY

THE STRING REAPPEARS

He goes to follow it -he won’t let it disappear on him again

Meets Izumi & Co. on the way

Know how Homare’s pretty quiet when the crew finds Homare? Part of that’s because Homare doesn’t know anyone else, but mostly it’s because for the first time the string has an end

Too bad his soulmate hardly knows anything

HISOKA

He always had the red string

Until his training

At first, no matter how grueling or dark, he could take comfort in knowing that he was still destined for someone

Maybe his soulmate would even come for him! Break him out! Like a hero!

Until they broke his spirit.

“Soulmates aren’t needed,” they had said. “They’ll only be a burden -a weakness.”

Agents can’t afford to have weaknesses

So Hisoka underwent torments and horrors, burying hopes and feelings, until one day he realized he could no longer see the string

Fate would have been kinder if he could have just untied or cut it long ago

He didn’t even cry

BUT THEN HISOKA LOSES HIS MEMORY

Years of suppression and training gone

BOTH

Homare couldn’t be happier that he’s found his soulmate, but clearly the other man has a bigger issue than finding out who his soulmate is

Unspoken reason for why Homare volunteers to room with Hisoka

He decides to take it slow and observe Hisoka, especially given that he can’t have much of a conversation with him due to sleeping constantly

The marshmallow method for waking was developed in part from Homare trying to talk with Hisoka

While verbal communication doesn’t really work due to Hisoka’s sleeping, Homare is able to pick up on Hisoka’s non-verbal cues and somehow the two slowly begin to communicate

For all his complaining about how annoying Homare is, when Hisoka sees the red string and that it’s connected to Homare, he feels content

Hisoka’s the one who brings the string up. He consulted Azuma about what it was and Azuma advised him to speak with the person it’s connected to after explaining the basics

The conversation takes several attempts to have

Homare pulls out the magnifying glass

It’s awkward with neither really knowing how to approach the subject

Homare has so many questions and thoughts, but he knows Hisoka likely doesn’t know the answer to most of them

Hisoka doesn’t really know what to say or ask. He does manage to get a basic synopsis of events from Homare’s perspective and feels guilty for a bit

They agree to take it slow and let the past. They both have questions, but Hisoka can’t answer them

With Hisoka’s permission, Homare’s next published work focuses on their journey

Hisoka gets a companion for Pen Pen from Homare and asks Yuki for some thread. When he’s not carrying them around, he’ll keep them on his bed, connected by the thread and always makes sure to secure it before falling asleep

[christinaroseandrews]

Part 1

First off, I’m going to have to break this review up into pieces. I’ve got too much to rant about - complete with screen grabs - that tumblr will hate me. Not to mention, I want to show you the pain and then talk about some of the more salient problems with this book in depth. 

A little over a month and a half ago I said I was going to do something stupid. I was going to read my way through Faleena Hopkins’ book You Don’t Know Me. I got through the first half in a fairly decent clip - the writing was not good, the characters weren’t good, the plots were flying more than mosquitoes in summer... and then I got to the part where I just started continually shouting.

Laws of physics, laws of nature, laws of storytelling were all thrown aside as if they were garbage and then literal garbage was shoved into its place.

This was not a good book. This is not me ragging on her as an author. But I am not joking when I say I’ve read stuff by actual teenagers that was much, much better than this. And because I had to suffer through it, you have to suffer through my ranting.  Aren’t I nice?

The story takes a common trope “Secret Love Child” and combines it with another “The Missing Heir” and adds a dash of “Draco in Leather Pants” and “Poor Little Rich Boy” into the mix. By the way, if you can’t guess, TV Tropes is my wiki-walk rabbit hole and I have no regrets. The same cannot be said for this book.

Rue Calliwell (and I don’t care if I misspell the name - the author doesn’t; why should I?) is trying to make it in Los Angeles. She works the graveyard shift at a local grocery store while trying to catch her big break as a dancer. When Jack Stone, one of America’s Famous Billionaire Playboys, suddenly appears on her doorstep hopping mad, she wonders what died in his Wheaties and maybe if she can kiss away the frown he’s fixing her with. (Yep, she’s dreaming about some brother banging.) After dragging the story out for way too long, it’s finally revealed that Rue is the bastard daughter of Jack’s father and that he’s been embezzling from his company to stock up an inheritance of $50 million that has Rue’s name all over it. If she refuses the money, it goes to the KKK and she can’t allow that to happen. While her other brother, Sean, treats her to a Pretty Woman makeover, Jack wrangles their best friend Alec (and super hot lead singer of a band that’s never mentioned and isn't important to the plot in any way) to seduce his sister and then break her heart. Because that’s what all pissed off brothers do, dontcha know? 

So where do I even begin with this?

How about at the beginning... I have over 120 notes that I made on this as I read it. I’ll share some of them with you.

This is the opening paragraph to this book. There is so much wrong with this I just can’t even. From the random thought, to the run-on sentence (a Faleena Hopkins Trademark), to the weird-ass descriptors. Frowning Forehead? Are there lips on this forehead? Another face? Not to mention that there are missing en-dashes and it’s in a confusing tense. (Most of the book is in first person/present tense... because of the contraction, the sentence can be read as both present and past tense.)

The story introduces us to Rue, Jack, and Sean in pretty short order. Rue is supposed to be the heroine. The one we’re rooting for. Jack is the antagonist. One of the two wronged brothers and the one who thinks that Rue has an agenda. He is not a nice character. Then there’s Sean who is too good for this world and is written like every single stereotypical gay best friend but he’s got a “SECRET!” You have one guess what that is going to be.

If you can’t tell, this is in reference to Jack. But not only do we have a wild apostrophe, but we also have Exorcist levels of neck contortion. Not to mention a super awkward sentence.

This is also a Faleena Hopkins Trademark.

See...

I also mentioned that the story was in need of a good editor. Not just a proofreader, but an actual story doctor who could prune the 15 or so subplots down to something manageable while actually giving us a romance. Not a sex story shoved into a family drama. By the way, this story BARELY qualifies as a romance and I’m not totally convinced it is. The main characters end up together, but it is in no way satisfying and the focus of the story wasn’t on the relationship. More on that later.

But let’s go back to the editing.

Sorry about the italics not translating between Goodreads (where I can access my notes) and what’s in the actual book.  Trust me when I say that this woman hasn’t met an italic she didn’t love, except when she should use them.

As you can see, there are now enough errors for me to mark it down a star for poor proofreading.  And I’m not even a quarter of my way through this. The errors continued including something I find a death knell... the author spelling her main character’s name wrong. I’m not going to bother sharing more of her proofreading errors, unless they are really eye-roll enducing.

Another reason why this book is so bad is because the foreshadowing is heavy-handed as fuck. Like I’m going to hit you over a brick with it but I want you to act surprised when the reveal takes place. It’s that bad.

Here’s one of the most egregious examples.

We didn’t get the actual reveal of what was in the summary until 7% of the way into the book. Which is 21 pages and 5 Chapters into the book. Even then, the author played with it for a while, making it so that Rue didn’t believe the lawyer and thought this was some elaborate reality show prank. Yeah.

The author also wasn’t terribly good at hiding her foreshadowing.

This was in the character’s head. You don’t hide that kind of thing in your own head. It’s why most mystery writers don’t write from the POV of the killer, “The Strange Case of Roger Ackroyd” aside. It gives away the mystery. Coupled with the over abundance of POVs and this heavy handed handling of the character. I would have dropped this plot line entirely.... More on this later.  Trust me, what goes on with Sean is a rant in and of itself and is enough for me to rate this one star.

Now let’s get into the flashback portion and will portion of the plot.

This is where the first gif really starts showing through.

Part of me really wanted to send Hopkins the Wikipedia article on cancer. The other part of me wondered: if this is what she considers hyperbole, then what other horrors did I have in store?

I shouldn’t have asked.

This is brought up, but never actually addressed. Also I need to talk about how the father gave Rue the money. He gave it to her in a lump sum. $50 million. Not a trust. Not a foundation. Just here! Cash!

The author tries to address it later. But fails.

And that’s assuming that there aren’t locality taxes and again congrats you’re in a higher income bracket.

The biggest problem with this is that the father would know better. Or have the money offshore... not something that would be transferred into a U.S. checking account to make the IRS piddle their pants like an errant puppy. The father who claims to have loved the mother and the daughter, would make sure that the daughter had the money to keep her comfortable for the rest of her life and not able to spend it or give it away all in one go.

I used to work for a lawyer’s office who specialized in estate planning (and real estate) - in most cases, if you have more than $250,000 in assets that will survive your death, it’s recommended to have a trust because the federal government takes so much.

These tricks are one of the many ways that the rich stay rich.

As I mentioned before Rue gets a makeover, courtesy of Sean.

I’m thinking of the now deleted video of hers... But here’s the author.

So of course from here on out, I’m picturing Faleena as Rue... which did not help matters.

The reason why I say this is a nice lampshade is literally until she finds out that Jack and Sean are her brothers, she’s fantasizing about sleeping with them and kissing them.  Which again is “Ew!!!” for the reader and not funny and kinda crosses the pseudo-incest vibe that Amazon will allow and goes into Incest because again, we the reader know what the score is, it’s in the damned summary.

This is a huge problem in the book. The sainted mother who died of the mystical cancer is the sole woman who doesn’t get the slut/bitch/sexist treatment. Huge problem. Not even Jenna is immune (which happens later) and Jenna falls into another bad trope which I will get to later.

There’s more, but let me tell you, headhopping in the first person, present tense is tough. You’re deep into one character’s head. That takes talent.

Crappy talent. But talent.

This is where I’m going to stop my first post. We’ve just got the first mention of the love interest, Alec. And opened up another problem.

How is Alec Sean and Jack’s only friend? I say this as someone whose best friends growing up were identical twins. Most siblings, especially those that aren’t twins, won’t have the same bestie. They don’t want the same bestie. It’s a thing. They may have friends in common, but most best friends tend to be someone else. Mostly so they have someone they can rant to about the other.

If you think this is bad, wait until you meet Alec and the new siblings have a night on the town.

It’s going to be great....

If you want to support reviews like this consider donating to our Kofi!

[brianna-lei]

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either): 

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though! 

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions 

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!! 

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy” 

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!! 

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”  

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game 

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it 

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely 

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel! 

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)  

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L 

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now) 

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now) 

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me)  I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were: 

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon? 

yeah it is!! it's burrito 

(people think it’s a cute name) 

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine? 

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism) 

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup? 

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)? 

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive) 

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game? 

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most? 

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious) 

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup? 

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year) 

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel? 

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects? 

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips? 

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?) 

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people? 

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper) 

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”) 

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game? 

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice? 

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand? 

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!  

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it! 

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!! 

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!! 

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!! 

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy 

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

[tweakerwolf]

Doki Doki Literature Club

Played the game and my thoughts about it are below the cut because I go on a bit of a rant...

TL;DR version: I love the true aspect of the game but it isn’t really my style and over all I was disappointed by the ‘psychological horror’ and ‘gore’ parts of it. (relatively spoiler free, I don’t mention any of the major twists or story plotlines, just the general ‘extra-ness’ of what makes the game intriguing)

So... I got the game on Steam and played it because a lot of people were talking about it and how awesome of a game it was...

I hate to say it but, I was disappointed in it...

I get why people are raving about it, I do think the reveals and secrets in the games are amazing! I can honestly say that I’m blown away by what the creators were able to do with the game. Without going into spoiler territory, all the hidden/surprise aspects of the game, are really awesome! I have read all about the intricate details and hints that people were able to find- SO MUCH information... I wouldn’t have had any idea of where to start with that kind of game. I don’t know anything about game files and translating text... I love complicated storylines but I’m very simple when it comes to *gameplay*... if it isn’t blatantly obvious then odds are, I won’t know what to do... If I was left to my own devices, I wouldn’t know about a majority of DDLC’s secrets... because they have to do with things that are outside of normal gameplay... I guarantee that I would’ve missed about 90% of the point, all the underlying DDLC elements, swoosh, right over my head. But when I looked up the game and I learned about all the ‘extra’ elements, again, I am SOOOOO impressed with what they were able to achieve! But lmao, if you were expecting me to understand it and delve into that on my own???? You’ll be waiting a long time for that... I suck at that kind of meta stuff, truly. I wouldn’t’ve even /thought/ to look into the things people were finding secrets in!

That being said... I saw the tags for DDLC and I saw all the warnings that appeared in the game... and that’s where I was disappointed. Psychological horror? After playing games like BTD and TDDUP... that game wasn’t that ‘edgy’ at all imo. Now, that’s not to say that the trigger warnings aren’t needed! Indeed, pay attention to the trigger warnings and play the game with caution, I’m not saying that they lied... just that /I/ had higher expectations for what was going to happen when I got to the ‘shocking’ part of the game. I was so bored... For the average gamer and especially for someone that generally plays ‘regular’ dating sims, I’m sure the triggering scenes were very /shocking/, I can understand that... but for all the hype I was seeing, I was expecting more. There was nothing to the characters that made me invested in them (Okay, I’ll admit, I was invested in Sayori and I do think they did her storyline right), there was no history... Things go from cutesy to chaotic in just a moment but that doesn’t make it psychological horror... I wasn’t twisted around psychologically by the reveals we were given... they were just /shock value/ (hence my earlier wording...). OMG look at this surprise scene that you’d never expect to see in a ‘dating sim’ game!!! Gasp! What surprise! Even the ‘extra’ part of the game, the fun secret stuff... that isn’t what I’d categorize as psychological horror... I’d categorize it as a mind fuck but ‘mind fuck’ and ‘psychological horror’ don’t mean the same thing. They often go hand-in-hand but pft, that doesn’t make them synonymous with each other, that’s all I’m saying. Like I’ve said, the scenes themselves should be approached with caution, they aren’t ‘silly’ by any means but... when I think of games that are psychological horror, I think of the part in the Resident Evil 7 DLC, 21. How your POV is a character that’s strapped to a chair, forced to play a game of 21 with another innocent victim and each time you lose, a finger gets chopped off. At the end of the game, you’re praying that you don’t lose another finger but in order to keep your fingers, you have to pray that the other INNOCENT player has a worse hand than you... you get to hear that player scream in terror and then in pain, you hear them beg and there isn’t anything to do because it’s you or them. You want to win because you don’t want to die but winning means you’re forced to watch/listen to someone else get fucked up. That’s deeply psychological. Even with BTD and TDDUP... those games weren’t overly graphic (in terms of *video graphics/frames*, they were mostly static scenes that depended on the /dialogue/ to get the point across, not a visual ‘movie’ with sound effects)... we didn’t *see* a lot of horrible violence unlike in RE7 but it was still psychological because there were visceral reactions that we read the character going through, the descriptions did the scenes justice and there were scenarios that just... they were designed to make you go “if I was in this situation... could I really survive this??? Would this break me???” That’s the point of psychological horror to me. This game completely missed the mark and it just felt like shock value with a lack of depth. Period.

I’ll even say that the ‘dating sim’ aspect of the game was bland... (I know that wasn’t even the point but, hear me out)... I was SPOILED by BTD and even TDDUP... I was expecting choices! I was expecting things to be at least a little broader... I was expecting more than 2 (3 depending on what you count as an ending) endings... I was expecting my choices to matter in the end game. And they don’t... The story is horribly bland and I was in agony as I tried to play through and get to the interesting parts!!! And even after I did get to the interesting parts... I was still SO BORED! It wasn’t because I knew what was coming either, I can know how a game ends and still be excited and enthralled when I’m playing it if it has a great story or good gameplay. I don’t play a lot of dating sims, but I realize that the dialogue isn’t always the greatest... some of them are just blah blah blah and let me see animated boobies (not all of them, I know but the ones with ‘boring’ dialogue can be described like that I think).... but it should at least be a little engaging... Daddy Dating Simulator at least had the ‘horrible dad puns’ kind of humor to make players laugh and groan as they went out and about. I dunno... I was let down... if I had come across this game cold turkey with no background knowledge... I never would’ve made it to the ‘interesting’ part because I would’ve stopped playing... and like I said, even *knowing* that the game was going to get ‘interesting’... it was still so hard to play and it still fell flat... When we replay the first day, even with the quirks, it’s too bland to hold my attention, I just didn’t care.

I can write a guide of the general gameplay aspects if people really want me to but... there are only 3 endings so.... is that really what you want? A lot of the game is pretty random so there’s only so much I can help you with.... If you’re looking for help with the ‘extra’ aspects of the game, I cannot help you with that, I’m sorry... Check the wiki and the reddit pages because I have no clue where to even start with that stuff.

[nothingneverforever]

The Haunting of Hill House (2018)

I remember sitting through the first episode of this series with my mom, thinking that it wasn't the best option for us to commit to, worrying that it would be a waste of our precious mother-daughter bonding time. The pacing of the first/second episode was too.. American, the emotional expressions too unsubtle, leaving little room for my audience participation, the acting too stilted, and the actors behaving too much like stage thespians .. and because I'd chosen the series after seeing rave reviews online, I remember sitting through the first episode thinking, huh, this is the shit people been losing their minds over?

And then.... suddenly, quickly, it became one of the most deeply affecting and disturbing shows I'd experienced, and thus eventually, one of my favourites. I'm deciding to write this now, about 9 months after I finished the series, because I've just started on The Haunting of Bly Manor, which is described as a "follow-up" series to Hill House. The narratives are not connected, but much of the cast and crew are the same, which is nice because I was so so so so so impressed with the acting of these specific returning actors in Hill House, and after reading a little more into the production process, I've been allowed to understand that the crew is fucking epic and genius as fuck too. I love this series!!!!!

The title of a Youtube video that I love a great deal on this series, by one of my absolute favourite film analysis video essayists, Ladyknightthebrave, is: Stretching Genre - A Haunting of Hill House Video Essay. And maybe this is what I'll talk about first - genre. I've never particularly cared for 'horror' because I'd rather be able to engage with themes and tropes I can relate to in my own life, stories that resemble my own world from my own ever-romantic perspectives. I've always wanted to delve into horror, to appreciate the elaborately designed surfaces as well as be affected in whatever ways by any depth of conversation or concept, but I don't think I've ever been able to achieve any of this. I've tried to enjoy both superficially (i.e. entertainment value) and also more real-ly many horror productions, but always left with a deep sense of meh.  Crimson Peak (which I reviewed here back in 2016) might be the closest I've come to engaging genuinely with anything from this broad genre, but even then I think I liked it more for its kitsch value, its beautiful beautiful beautiful soundtrack, than for the genre-specific parts of the narrative. But I mean, everything makes a film right? The soundtrack and the costumes and the acting are the horror elements in themselves too, I know.

Even then, a lot of the simple reactions I've read for Hill House are ones of surprise, where audiences went in not realizing that a series with the words The Haunting of.. in its title would leave them feeling utterly heartbroken, distraught (sad), emotionally-invested as it were any other drama series. In that Ladyknightthebrave video I mentioned, at multiple points in her essay she says, simply, "hey,... I'm sad" when referencing a particular scene or conversation. And that was, too, my overwhelming reaction to the whole series.... I'm sad!!!!!

Perhaps I should describe the plot a little first.. so the Cranes are a family of 7, mother and father and 5 lovely children: in descending order of age, they are Steve, Shirley, Theo, and twins Luke and Eleanor (Nelly). Here is the official synopsis:

This modern reimagining of the Shirley Jackson novel follows siblings who, as children, grew up in what would go on to become the most famous haunted house in the country.. Now adults, they are forced back together in the face of tragedy and must finally confront the ghosts of their past. Some of those ghosts still lurk in their minds, while others may actually be stalking the shadows of Hill House.

And, from wikipedia, here are some of the notable reviews of the series:

Corrine Corrodus of The Telegraph graded the series with a 5/5 rating, calling it "the most complex and complete horror series of its time." Brian Tallerico of RogerEbert.com gave unanimous praise to the Netflix adaptation, describing it as "essential viewing," and stated that "[the show] contains some of the most unforgettable horror imagery in film or television in years." David Griffin of IGN gave the series a rating of 9.5 out of 10, calling it "a superb and terrifying family drama," and Paul Tassi of Forbes described it as "absolutely fantastic" and stated that "it may actually be Netflix's best original show ever."

Horror author Stephen King, who holds considerable admiration for Jackson's novel, tweeted about the series, "I don't usually care for this kind of revisionism, but this is great. Close to a work of genius, really. I think Shirley Jackson would approve, but who knows for sure."

Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, in interview with The Jerusalem Post said, "My favorite Netflix series, with no competition, is The Haunting of Hill House."

Due to obvious reasons I give zero fucks about what either King or Tarantino might have to say about, uhh, anything on this planet, but YASSSS RETWEET everything above!!! It is essential viewing!!! Indeed the most complex and complete series of its time!!! Unforgettable imagery!!!

Okie so now on to my own original thots... 

My main learning was this: Horror, i.e. the presence of something horrific, for it's characters in the show/story, isn't about feeling frightened or them 'losing their minds' or being driven to questioning their own perceptions of reality or anything like what we've seen in the last 7 decades or so of seeing the genre develop and evolve. In Mike Flanagan's beautiful ode to Shirley Jackson's incredible story, we come to understand that horror is only ever about genuine trauma. I guess, like I talked about earlier, I never really understood what horror's raison d'etre was at all.. like... why?? What is the greater, lasting impact of having audiences shaking in their boots? What is intended by eliciting a gasp or a scream? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?!

I asked, and I've been asking and asking for years, and finally Hill House provided: Horror is, in fact, about unspeakable pain.. Pain that has no outlet in a world that will only ever be skeptical of such experiences... it's about being genuinely haunted in such a way that you can never dream of stability in your life ever again; it's about developing into a closed-off, maladjusted adult, knowing that your experiences of early life cannot be related to anyone else's in any way, not even that of your siblings. I remember taking away this lesson very early on in the series, possibly midway through the second episode. Because the siblings (Steve, Shirley, Theo, Luke, Nelly) are all utterly flawed and thus 'real' characters, we're able to quickly why they are the ways they are. (Important note: the siblings are not flawed in ways that make them unlikable at all, or unrelatable, or downright unpleasant to watch - this is a flaw that other productions have definitely fallen prey to before in the name of achieving that 'realness' however Hill House judges things so perfectly that we are endeared to their flaws and never put off by them.) Their disparate experiences with Hill House growing up, their subsequent very personal meaning-making journeys (some looking more like denial, some resulting in substance dependency), their different levels of having access to the 'truths' about what went on in that cursed home, all of this meant that the siblings ended up, where we see them in 'current day', being broken adults with a lot of misplaced anger, unprocessed trauma, and resentment toward one another. It is the aloneness in all their experiences that is the true horror, and the horrors were a very personal, existential kind and so there was no room for mutual bonding and sharing until it was too late, until their babiest of baby sisters had lost herself to the pressures calling her ‘home’.

And suddenly, I realised: this is the true evil. Ghosts don't ruin lives by doing a good epic scare here and there or by turning your irises white by revealing some fucking scary shit: ghosts are seriously... so... fucking... evil because they ruin your whole entire lives..!!! Horrifying realities take the form of many different things, even if they all originate from one main source. The Crane siblings, as children, had to deal at once with their mother being predisposed to falling victim to the spirits of the house due to, as hinted, mental health conditions of her own, while also dealing with differently confusing aspects of a house and a home that taunted them by making them feel unsafe and secure all at once. Now I say all this from an.. artistic appreciation pov, because I am myself unconvinced that the 'supernatural' or anything of a spiritual realm influences our daily lives. Which is all the more significant, right? That a ""skeptic"" like myself (although I'm not an insensitive and stubborn over-rationalizing dumb male like Steve is in the show) could suddenly realise the tragic effects on many many vulnerable souls of a world that clutching on to its medical models and objective scientific truths.

From the series' wiki page: The Haunting of Hill House received critical acclaim, particularly for its acting, directing, and production values, with many calling it an "effective ghost story."

So yea... finally I know what that means. Finally I know what effect a ghost story can and should have. Finally I understand the potential of the genre!!! Sigh there is literally SO much I could say about how and why this is the best series in the world but maybe I'll stop here for now..? There would be no end if I were to discuss everything because it's one of those series that has 'easter eggs', in the form of hidden ghosts (visual) lurking in the dark or specific lines that foreshadow something else later on, but I've never really cared much to 'reveal' these things so yea, go forth and enjoy this best show everrrrr :-)

(For example there is a lot of discussion online about how each of the 5 siblings represent the 5 different stages of grief à la Kübler-Ross, with the eldest Steve being in complete denial that there was ever any supernatural presence to explain their experience, Shirley reacting with sheer anger to all around her, Theo bargaining her way through her own internal conflicts, Luke being surrounded by swirling depression fueling his drug dependency, and Nell eventually accepting the so-called inevitable, etc etc etc but this kinda analysis is a little too lowbrow and heavy-handed for me to get into so yea haha)

There is a specific dialogue that I want to reference however on my way out: when Nell's suicide/death is revealed early in the series, Shirley has the difficult talk with her young children about it. And these 2 simple lines umm basically summarize the entire plot:

Shirley's son: Why did she die? Shirley: I don't know.. I'm just so sad that she did

Everyone watching the show would relate to that immediately but also that sentiment rings more and more and more true as the episodes come to reveal what a painfully innocent and giving soul Nell was... :(

So sad !!!!!

----------

Edit: copying below my mom’s initial thoughts after I forced her to read this post hehe, because her words describe a lot of what I think and feel too, and because I want to remember our discussion and reflection forever!

Each of us -  lives scarred at some time – in some private way – religion drowns it, cosmetises – but horror – is the Couch of reflection, reliving and something of a letting it out.  Feeling again the horror/fear/anxiety/pain/aloneness of that  real trauma – but in an shared room, even if only shared with an older, saner, wiser, learning you.

[nightwingxy]

This is Sayaka Maizono, She is a character from the First Danganronpa. While changing profile pics on another account, I was reminded about how I found out about her & my love for her and decided to tell that sory.. Bare with me this story does get a bit wierd/Weebey at times,though i'm 98% sure i'm not a weeb. How I found out about her was rather interesting/strange. Back in my senior year of HighSchool, In September or October of 2014 I think. I was in my English class skimming through an issue of Gameinformer I had on me, Issue 258 "The Horror Issue" Which had a alien isolation cover. As I was near that end at the review sections I saw an image that peeked my interest, 2 Really Really cute/beautiful anime girls in an awesome looking artstyle, standing next to a ripped dude with crazy anime hair about to fuck shit up, with what looked like of TV's behind them And I looked at the review, and it was for a game called Danganronpa 2: Goodbye dispair. I also saw that it was for the Vita, a handheld I still to this day love and praise with all my heart, and got more interested. Then I saw it was a point&click game and my interest went down. Though I was interested in the 2 girls in the image, as well as the art style they were in, so later on that night I looked up the artist, rui komatsuzaki, and found a lot of his art on some site, Zerochan I think. And While scrolling though the Pages of art I came Across what Looked like concept art or whatever of This extremely cute/Beautiful Girl in a School Girl's outfit with Dark Hair, and I instantly loved her design (2nd and 3rd Pics). I saw that her name was Maizono Sayaka, which I found out was a direct translation of her name in japanese, with her localized name being Sayaka Maizono. So I goggle imaged searched her and found this image, where I noticed her hair was more blue than black (4th Pic). Then I came across This image of her (5th Pic), and That's when I realized.... I was kinda in love with her. And I say that as someone who Didn't watch anime or hentai, read any manga, and is 98% sure he's not a Weaboo. But Something about her drew me to her, and I wanted to know more. So I checked out her page on the Danganronpa Wiki. For her personality it said "Seeing as she's an idol, Sayaka has a cheerful, sweet, and supporting personality. Despite her idol career, Sayaka actually enjoys cooking." Which I liked. But I also saw that she was the first to die, which bummed me out a little, but it didn't stop me from looking up more info on her and more pics. Like I said earlier she was the closest thing to a real anime waifu I've ever had. Like before i've obsessed over some other Game characters, Including some fighting game characters like Cammy from Street Fighter, Morrigan from Darkstalkers, The Smash Version of Zero Suit Samus, and Hitomi from DOA, along with non FG characters Hatsune miku and Magurine Luka From Vocaloid. But this....this was different. Unlike all those other characters, who I thought were cool and/or looked beautiful/hot, in addition to maining them in their respective games, save for Miku and Luka. Maizono was Someone I wanted to be with, someone I wanted to spend time with, someone who I had romantic feelings for. Someone who wasn't real. That last part hurt more than knowing she died. And she was the closest thing to "love" or a Girlfriend I've ever known/had at the time. Like During High School Getting a girlfriend wasn't a top priority, I kinda wanted to have one, but Didn't mind being single. There also wasn't too many girls I had a crush on, aside from 1 or 2 specific girls, who which I didn't try to become friends with or purse a potential relationship with because it wasn't wasn't a top priority (Doing good in shcool hanging out with friends was), and I was SUPER socially awkward around new people (still kinda am), especially girls, with a major example being Me trying to be funny to a girl I liked back in freshman year. It was embarrassing AF, I pretended it never happened &Never talked to her after that. Never talked to the Other Girl I had a crush on from Sophomore Year through the rest of High School Either. There was also the occasional cute girl I walked by between class periods but that was it. Sayaka Maizon was the closest thing to "Love" I was ever going to get. Even if that was just me looking at pictures of her before going to bed (no not like that you creeps.), and Wanting to be with her, very, very much so. I loved her to death and I thought about her a lot for a good chunk of my senior year, Though by the end I didn't think about her as much if at all. About a Month Later I was in a Bose electronics in Carlsbad and in one of the display rooms they were playing a clip of frozen, from the First time in forever reprisal song when Anna & Elsa are at the ice castle, which rekindled my Love For Princess anna, and the rest is history.As for Maizono, I would occasionally see her picture when scrolling through the downloaded photos on my phone, and I would briefly reminisce about our time "Together" and my Senior year, then move on to the next photo. And Earlier tonight when Changing profile pics for another twitter account I have I decided to go with Maizono as I wanted to keep an anime girl as my profile pic there, &got thinking of this story. Was gonna tell it there but decided I should talk about it publicly, as I felt ok coming out about this, Since it's old news by this point. As it stands Maizono is on top of the Regular Waifu list (for now), as Princess Anna is still the one true waifu at the moment (and is separate from that list) despite not really thinking of her much recently, though I tried. Also despite my love of Maizono and the Vita, I only now have pics of her on my vita, and is is the wallpaper on the bottom 2 menu screens with all my PS1 classics. With that, My Maizono story comes to a close. I still think she is pretty amazing, and still is still someone special to me....despite never playing the games or watching the anime, The latter of which I might do now once I finish one punch man and watch castlevania, 

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

Promises We Can’t Keep

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Implied smut, a bit of cursing( I don’t know if I should tag that) Challenge: Bailey’s Birthday Challnge by @jayankles Prompt: 9x08 - Between a Rock and a Hard Place Word Count: 2.117 A/N: I had no internet and couldn’t wach the episode so this fic is based on the Supernatural Wiki page and transcripts so sorrynotsorry if stuff is not 100% accurate, I kinda had to guess their reactions but I think I did okay. Thanks to Bailey for letting me participate in this awesome challenge. Reminded me a lot of the oldschool fanfiction I used to write (it’s still out there. 50 chapters of absolute horror) Also huge hanks for the bilionth time to @queen-fierfly Enjoy :D

“We hope you enjoyed the tour!” Bonnie smiled brightly “Any questions before we get you guys registered?” The two, humongous –if I said so myself- men looked at each other. The taller one, long hair reaching bellow his ears, grazing his jawline, cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah, uh, look, um, Ms. Futchko-“Boy, was he awkward.

“Oh please,” Bonnie smiled again “Bonnie will do just fine” Ugh, I hated her.

Who would’ve known I’d have ended up in a church, trying to figure out what the hell was going on in a town where random people disappeared and instead of actually interrogating witnesses, took a friggin tour. The two poor bastards that were supposedly interested in the tour, two mountain-tall men with beautiful eyes, didn’t know what they had coming to them if they became part of that church.

“Bonnie. Okay, uhm, we… we love the church. We do, but… Well, we heard that a few members have gone missing, and, to be honest… that kinda scares us” I held back a snort. ‘Kinda scares us,’ puh-lease, don’t make me laugh. You’re 50 feet tall and more built than the majority of America’s population, who are you kidding dude.

The slightly shorter man, clad in flannel, just like the Tall one who was either his brother or… boyfriend –it would be a shame, really-, shot me a look, eyebrow raised. His bright eyes searched mine for an indication of… something. He didn’t find it. In response, I chewed my mint gum obnoxiously and shrugged in a ‘me? I didn’t say anything.’ manner. He smiled knowingly.

“Let me assure you, with our increased security, ‘Good Faith’, has never been safer.” She tried to be reassuring, but you could see her almost panic that she’d lose us. She reminded me of those horrible infomercials that lasted 10 minutes and made you want to break the tv “And those people who have gone missing, well, they are front and center in our prayers.”

“Amen,” I feigned relief and smiled as hopefully as I could muster. The Short one nodded in agreement.

“What a relief. Now, you must’ve been, uh, close to them” Something smelled fishy with these two.

“Well, we do share the A.P.U. bond.”

“The what now?” I butted in.

“Our chastity group, “Abstinence Purifies Us” “

Oh boy.

“Oh.” The Tall one said “W-wow. You mind if we sit in on that, maybe see if it’s for us?” He asked kindly.

“Oh, I want in too! Sounds like fun.” Everyone glanced at me. I shrunk back a little.

“I’m afraid it’s members only. I’m sorry, it can get pretty personal.” Her lips pursed and her orange curls bounced a little.

“Then count us in”

“Me too” I grinned. This time my grin was partially true. I realized what was up with the two men.

They were hunters.

How did I not realize earlier?! Built, fading scars on every part of skin that saw the light of day, jumpy and wary, scanning the area as if something would jump them any second now. Jeez, I was oblivious.

“Well, I’ll be a squirrel in a skirt, I’ll be back in a jiff with the papers” Bonnie grinned and ran out the office, pulling papers from a large filing cabinet.

“Okay, what’s your deal?” The shorter one turned n his seat to ask me.

“Excuse me?” I feigned shock and hurt.

“Come on, sweetheart, we’re not dumb, drop the act” I ignored the shiver that traveled down my spine when he used the pet-name.

“Fine” I scoffed “we’re all hunters here, and I’m not very happy you’re ruining my investigation by the way, but I’ll let it slide for once and we’ll work together, sound good? Okay” With an eye-roll, I dropped back on my chair not leaving any room for argument. They looked slightly taken back before recomposing themselves.

“Great,” Green-Eyes scoffed.

“I’m Sam” The Tall one offered his hand “That’s my brother, Dean” he motioned with his head to Green-Eyes as I shook his hand. Sam seemed nice, I thought as his huge paw drowned mine. Dean was hot, but something told me he wasn’t particularly excited of me joining them.

“Brothers, huh? I was betting on couple, but what do you know” I shrugged, mirthfully watching Sam and Dean’s eyes widen a fraction “Y/n” I pulled away and sat back down.

“So wait, a chastity group?” Dean decided to ignore my comment.

“Dean, listen, if all the members were in A.P.U., then maybe whatever took them is stalking virgins” Sam’s glance danced from me to his brother.

“And the Slim guy said he saw fire.—“

“You went to that scumbag too? What a prick” Sam shot me a questioning look “He tried to grope my ass” I rolled my eyes. “so, what are you thinking, dragons?”

Dean hummed

“Shh,” Sam hushed upon seeing the stupidly happy redhead enter the office.

“All righty” Bonnie handed us clipboards and pens “You can just sign here and your purification can begin” She leaned against her desk.

“Purity pledge?” I read questioningly

“It’s a commitment to your virginity”, She said seriously.

“Uhh… About that…” I trailed off

“I don’t think we can really un-ring that bell. You know what I mean?” Eloquent, I thought, giving Bonnie that ‘woops’ look. She looked both at Dean and I quite shocked.

“Oh, I see. Well, if you ask for God’s forgiveness for your sins and make a new vow of chastity, well, then you’ll be born again as a virgin in his eyes” She smiled brightly, having found the solution to our problem.

“So, wait, you just hit the virginity “do-over” button and it’s all good with the man upstairs?” Well, how ‘bout that. All my problems are solved. I laughed inwardly

“It’s not a button.” I have a feeling she doesn’t like me very much “And this isn’t just a piece of paper” She gestured at our clipboards “I mean, this is your clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage” Well that certainly won’t happen soon.

“Well, you had me at ‘clean slate’. Let’s do this” Dean smiled charmingly and we all signed our names at the bottom of the page.

“Congratulations guys. You’re all officially virgins”

“Oh boy” I muttered as Sam and Dean ‘ah’-ed lightly as if sharing and inside joke. Something told me Dean wasn’t gonna hold on to his ‘clean slate’ for long. Something told I wasn’t either. His charming smiles and flirting comments indicated he was no short of a womanizer. Either that or he was just really insecure and tried to cover it up but the way I saw him check out Bonnie’s ass as she walked away and ushered us out of the office, I wouldn’t really count on the latter.

“Oh, by the way,” Bonnie said, making us spin around to face her. “the meeting starts in an hour.”

And so the boys and I killed our time over coffee and a snack in the nearest diner, exchanging stories. Dean would often stare at me for longer than what’s considered normal. And either Sam nudged him, to which when he glanced back at me I’d wink or smile or something of the sorts, or he’d just snap out of it.

I found myself really interested in the Winchesters. These, seemingly completely normal, Titan-heighted men had been through hell and back and then through hell again and they were standing in front of me, entirely sane, two damn heroes that had saved humanity’s asses more times than I could count. Of course in the little time we spent at the diner, they didn’t brag about their achievements. I kinda forced it out of them.

Sixty minutes passed quickly and we found ourselves seated in a circle that reminded me a whole lot of the Hollywood version of group therapy.

I was thinking this while everyone in the room prayed. Apart from me and Dean of course. I was looking up from my lashes, inspecting the space and the girls around me, all mid-twenties maybe early thirties. I wondered what pushed them to want to be part of the virgins-till-marriage club.

I saw Sam nudging Dean and motion for him to pretend to pray. Dean rolled his eyes and then closed them. I did the same, waiting for the cue to open them.

“Amen.” A woman with chin-length wavy blonde hair said, I think her name is Suzy, picking her head up. “Now, does anyone have anything that they would like to share?”

“I wrote a new piece of verse!” another girl got up excitedly “It’s called sex is a racket, and God’s ball is in your court” She grinned and took a deep breath, ready to start talking

“Aand we would love to hear that Tammy- later” Tammy sighed and sat back down, slightly disappointed. “Why don’t we hear from our new friends? Sam, what brought you here to reclaim your virginity?” Sam, rendered a bit speechless and not knowing what to say, subconsciously waved his hands around in that questioning I-don’t-know-what-to-say-or-do-in-this-situation-help motion. His mouth opened in an o shape. He reminded me of a fish a little.

“Uh, well, I guess because every woman I’ve… ever… had relations with, uh… it… hasn’t ended well” poor bastard. Something told me it went past ‘didn’t end well’. Everyone nodded along. Dean chuckled.

“He ain’t lyin’” Sam pursed his lips again and bitch faced Dean. His older brother seemed unphased.

“Thank you for being here, Sam. Stay strong, stay pure” Suzy replied and suddenly the entire circle in sync stated “Stay Strong. Stay Pure” like they were chanting a conjuration.

“How about you, Y/n?” Suzy smiled warmly.

“Uh… I have tough parents. Let’s just say they weren’t really happy when they found out I popped my cherry and well… here I am” I shrugged impassively. “And you, Dean?” I smirked. “Tell us your story”

“Yeah, Dean” Suzy encouraged “Tell us why you came here.” She seemed hungry to hear his voice.

Dean shot a small glare at my triumphant smile, before squaring up his shoulders. “Uh, hard to say, exactly. Yeah. Sex has always felt, I don’t know, good, you know? I mean really, really good.” He looked around, realizing who he was talking to. “Uh… But, uh… Sometimes it just makes you feel bad, you know?” I could see the wheels in his head spinning, trying to find a good, believable enough story. A lie. “You’re drunk, you shuck up.” He smiles “Then it’s the whole morning thing. You know, ‘hey that was fun’ and then ‘adios’, you know? Always the ‘adios’” He looked wistful.

“But you know, when you get down to it, what’s the big deal, right?” Then he turned and stared at me, a small ghost of a smirk forming on his lips. “I mean, sure, there’s the touching and the feeling of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body, the two of us moving together, pressing and pulling…” his bright green eyes were so intense, challenging me to say or do anything. “… grinding” All the women started shifting uncomfortably, toying with their papers, watching him, probably trying not to drop their panties on the floor and beg him to take them right then and there. The asshole knew it but continued anyways. He was trying to get a reaction from me. “Then you hit that sweet spot, and everything just builds and builds until it all just-“ Dean made an explosion noise with his mouth and Tammy’s paper being crunched between her hands echoed in the room. That, along with his brother’s bitchface and my smug look, brought Dean back. He cleared his throat

“Yeah, uh… But the whole thing was a little too, uh, sticky. So, uh, I got my V-card back.” He slapped his leg cheerfully “The End!”

Safe to say I got out of there on wobbly legs.

Sam headed to their room –we found out we were staying in neighboring motels-as Dean offered to “escort me” in mine. I laughed at his face and muttered a mocking ‘sure’ to which he pretended to take offence.

“Hey, I can be a gentleman!” He pouted.

“Key word being ‘can’.” I winked, unlocking my door. “Coming in for… tea?” Tea, Y/n?! Seriously?! Dean practically laughed at my face

“Suuure”

And, predictably, three minutes later I found myself pinned against a wall, racing on who could take his clothes off quicker while kissing. The kisses were messy, full of clashing teeth and laughter and awkward angles but, my God, I didn’t give a single fuck about it.

I won.

“Shoulda known not to wear five hundred layers, Winchester” I grinned, under him, hands tightening in his hair, a moan dying on my lips as he sealed them with his.

“We’ll see if you’ll be throwing any more smartass comments in a minute, sweetheart” The mischievous glint in his eyes sparkled.

“We’ll see if you’ll hold out for even a minute, Dean-o”  I arched up to him, lips messily contracting his.

“That a challenge I hear in your voice?” He grinned. I winked

“Only if you prove me wrong”

And holy hell, he did.

[flannels-and-rocksalt]

Dreams Come True...and Nightmares do Too.

Request: Can you do one where you are Cas sister and Dean keeps having really bad dreams about you. He doesnt know what to do so cas helps and he finally finds you? Btw, I LOVE YOUR blog!!!

Requested by: @mrsackles101

Warnings: Language, horror

Y/H/C: Your hair color

Information from: http://the-demonic-paradise.wikia.com/wiki/Surgat

It always starts out the same. A beautiful girl sound asleep in her home, limbs completely covered by the blanket that was too orderly. Not a single wrinkle was on it and the girl was straight as a board. It was almost as if the bed was made around her. Curious if the pounding thump he heard was coming from female in the bed, he took a single step forward but stopped when a creak sounded from the corner. Hunter instincts took over the green-eyed Winchester, causing him to whip around fast enough to make his head spin. There, standing next to the female's bed, was a shadow figure with knifes for fingers, long, sharp, and dangerous. Dean was frozen in his spot by the entity before his eyes. That's when he realized that the sound of a fist on a drum was his heart ready to rip out of his chest.

"W-What do you want?" Dean would stutter out, his face pale and hairs raised. The power jolting from the monster was enough to power up an entire village. Ever so slowly, it raised a crooked finger and pointed to the sleeping human. "Her? Why her?" Even though the shadow never spoke, Dean kept prompting it with questions, seeing more red grow into his vision with each one. "Tell me, you son of a bitch!" Pain jolted through his head as a blood curdling scream erupted from the figure, but his finger never pointed in another direction.

Beneath the scream the words, "possess the girl," could barely be heard but it sent chills down his spine as he fell to the floor. Then....silence. He thought it was over...but when was a nightmare ever over? When you're someone like Dean, you fall asleep and a nightmare begins, but when you wake up it continues instead of ending. With no warning, the windows shattered as the sounds of hell rattled the walls. Screams of pain, torture, and fear mixed with the sobs of the damned as they were engulfed by the never ending flames.

Finally, Dean would wake with a start....only to have that same dream when he fell asleep later that night. Sweat soaked his clothes and tears streaked his face. Only one thought lingered in his mind each and every morning... What the hell was going on?

First, he tried to figure it out on his own. Many sleepless nights of researching for past possessions and anything that looked like the shadow figure in his dreams. Unfortunately, there was no break in the case. As much as he didn't like it, he tried sleeping as often as he could in hopes the dream would reveal something more. The only thing he received, though, was a better glimpse at the sleeping girl, but, after that, he woke up screaming, "help me!" And that...that is where it all began... 

                                               __________________

Sam busted into his brother's room, gun cocked and loaded. "Dean?" he yelled out, hitting his breaks when he saw Dean squeezing the sheets and panting. It was just a nightmare....? Gently, he sat on the edge of the bed and shook him. "Hey, hey, Dean, wake up...Dean! Dean, wake up!" Dean's body flung up straight, eyes wide and searching. "Dean, you're safe...Hey, you're safe..."

"W-We got to find her," Dean panted. "We have to find her!"

"What? Who? You're not making any sense!"

Shoving Sam's hands off of his shoulders, his feet hit the floor and carried him to his closet. As usual, he put on his normal attire, flannel and jeans, before grabbing his boots and phone. "Y/n..."

"Who?" The youngest Winchester followed his brother to the library, barely keeping up. "If you would just slow down-"

"We don't have time to slow down, Sam! If I don't find this girl, she is going to die! Horribly!" He slammed a large book down onto the table and began flipping through the pages as if he was timed, mumbling something to himself over and over again. But then....he stopped, froze in his place. "Surgat....Sam, have you heard of this name?"

He shook his head. "No, but-"

"Exactly," Dean interrupted, "That's because he's the lesser demon in the Inferno. It says here that Surgat is cunning and deceptive making him the most frightening and dangerous. Also know as "One Who Opens All Locks", reflects his nature and purpose, being able to understand and open any lock in the world. This makes it impossible for his targets to hide or escape from him. He thrives in dark places...the realm he is most fond of. Once he reaches his target, he will frighten them by presenting them with images that will drive them to madness....this is him..."

Sam, now absolutely baffled, was at a loss for words. "Who, Dean? Where did you see him!"

"My dream, damnit! This demon is after a girl named Y/n, and she's crying out for help! It makes sense though! In my dream, the room was pretty much pitch black and he came out of a locked closet. Screaming and-and crying! And the windows shattered! Y/H/C hair and beautiful facial features! And- Sam! Are you writing all this down?"

"What? No!" he exclaimed. "Dean you need to take a breath! We can't help you and you can't help that girl if you're running circles in your mind."

A soft sigh escaped his lips and collapsed into his seat. "Sam, something is going on...This girl...it's like I've seen her before...that face...I can't get it out of my mind."  Silence filled the room and for a split second, chaos was gone. Of course, it never lasted because everyone's mind was reeling for answers. Who ever got an idea, announced it out loud without a second guess. "Get Castiel. He can do his freaky angel shit and scan the world for every girl named Y/n."

"Do you realize how many girls will come up!" Sam shouted, exasperated.

"There are three of us! We can do it!"

"Fine, I'll call Cas, but Dean, it'll be too late-"

"Don't you dare say that! We will and can help this girl if Cas can get his feathery ass down here-"

A sudden change in the atmosphere cut the tension tenfold. The air seemed cooler and a slight breeze entered the room, blowing Sam's hair into his eyes. "You prayed?" a deep voice asked from behind the brothers. Castiel...finally.

Wasting no time, Dean jumped right into the situation. "Find every woman with the name of Y/n."

"I beg your pardon?" The angel's head tilted to side as his eyes squinted. Jokingly, everyone said that he looked like a confused puppy, but seeing it as often as the Winchester brothers did, they began to really see it.

"Females with the name of Y/n! Y/C/H hair!"

Castiel sighed....before pulling a picture out of the small wallet he kept his fake IDs in. All the color drained from Dean's face when he saw the picture. It was her. There was no mistaking it. Those features...the hair...and now that he finally saw her eyes...it was like the puzzle finally pieced its self together. Even in the picture, her eyes glittered.

"Cas...that's her! How did you know?" Dean gasped out. The gears in his mind were reeling. Did the nerdy little angel read his mind or was this a dream in itself? Everything seemed like fiction recently anyways.

"Her name is Y/N Novak...Jimmy Novak's sister. Considering he let me use him as a vessel, I promised to keep his family safe. I consider her my own sister. I keep watch over her on a weekly basis, but I haven't gotten any alarming vibes. Which makes me wonder, why are you getting them?"

Dean sighed and shrugged. "Who the hell knows, but we have to get to her. Now."

                                               ____________________

With sleep closing in on you quickly, it took all you had to walk yourself into your bed room. Without thinking twice about it, you checked the chain around your closet door. Thank god; it was still locked. The reason behind the chain and lock on your closet door? Easy. During the middle of the night, the creaking of the doors opening would wake you. The room was pitch black, so it was impossible to see anything, but the energy you felt in the room let you know you weren't alone. Eerie was an understatement. It was more like shitting bricks scared.

A quick pull on the chain and you hopped into bed, neck deep in covers. After a long day like today, it didn't surprise you that you were out cold the moment your head hit the pillows. The amount of cleaning and errands that piled up earlier in the day took all the energy from you and the mattress was calling your name. In fact, you were so tired, you didn't even hear the front door being kicked down...or the chain bounding the closet fall to the floor as the doors creaked open once again.

Slowly, Dean opened your bedroom door and chills erupted on his body. He had seen this too many times...This...this was the beginning of his nightmare. The loud beating was there, as well as the shadow figure with its crooked finger. Pieces began to connect with other pieces as the nightmare came back to haunt him. The pounding drum wasn't just his heart, but rather a mix of his brother's fist against the locked door and the pounding of the organ keeping him alive.

When the hell did the door lock? Before he could continue to think, his mouth was open and he was speaking as if he was a puppet on a string. Why I am so shocked? I've seen this before. I know exactly what is going to happen next.

"W-What do you want?" Dean stuttered out. The figure slowly pointed to you, the sleeping angel according to Dean. "Her? Why her?" Just like in the dream, the figure never spoke but the Winchester kept on going, his blood boiling. "Tell me you son of a bitch!"

And then, there was the ear piercing scream that brought the grown man to his knees wincing in pain. "Possess the girl," the demon spat underneath his scream. Just like Dean predicted, silence followed, but this time he was prepared for the next wave of sounds. The shattering of the windows didn't startle him and the raging screams from the damned souls in hell didn't make him want to curl into a ball trembling. I've been there before, he told himself. They have nothing on me.

What he didn't expect, though, was his nightmare to finish out. Your eyes shot open in fear as your mouth let out a scream. Without making a sound, the figure had snuck over to you and grasped both side of your face with its freezing cold hands. Long fingers forced your mouth open, but before it could fully transform into mist and slither down your throat, one simple word stopped all action.

"Surgat.." Dean panted out. "I know your name you evil son of a bitch! I know your name!"

Surgat screamed out knowing it was partially defeated. Seemingly all its power drained from him, but the demon wasn't ready for the fight to end. He knew his own power. He knew that Dean was nothing more than a puny human; dog shit on the bottom of his shoe, even.

What no one knew, though, was what the blinding white light that filled the room was. Trying to peek, Dean nearly burned his retinas so he only prayed that you had closed your eyes at the right time. So this is how the nightmare ended, Dean thought to himself.

In the blink of an eye, the blinding light was gone and the room was left in perfect condition. It was as if nothing had even happen which was a load of absolute bullshit. On the edge of the bed, though, was Castiel hugging you tightly. His arms swallowed your trembling form, but it still wasn't enough to rid the horrible images in your head.

"Cas, the hell was that?" Dean asked, slowly picking himself off the floor.

"Archangels. Gabriel, Michael, and couple others." Gently, his hand stroked your hair as tears streaked your face.

"C-Cas?" you stuttered out. "Did you change your name, Jimmy?"

Sam, who was allowing Dean to lean on him for support, looked at the angel with his brows knitted. "You didn't tell her?"

"Tell me what?" Worried, you looked up at your brother. "Tell me what, Jimmy!"

The angel sighed and pulled away from the embrace. "Y/n, Jimmy is no longer here...My name is Castiel, and I am angel of the Lord. Your brother was generous enough to let me use him as a vessel. I was going to tell you sooner, but-"

"You just didn't know how," you finished for him. You had waited years to see him again and here was your chance, so why ruin it by freaking? It was still your brother...well...kind of. It was still his body, but just a different soul. The shock of what just happened was the only thing keeping you together. Once that wore off...you didn't want to be alone.

"Exactly," he sighed.

Dean walked over like he was stepping on thin ice just to get a better look at you. "How did you reach out to me?" was all he could manage to get out of his dried throat.

"What do you mean?" When those green eyes fell into view, it took all your self control to not get lost in them. I've seen those before...

"I've been having nightmares about you...I've watched this play out in my head over and over again..."

Your face turned as white as the sheets. "I-I've been having dreams about you too..."

[rogerdvies]

lEO give me movie recs. and song recs. and book recs. plEASE.

@nviles. i came inside from the nice hot sunlight to do this so you better appreciate it. i don’t watch a whole lot of movies i mostly watch tv series with friends when sick so i’m not sure but i tried. also don’t know what genres you like so i chose my favorite stuff from everything.

movies.

orange (movie): a japanese romance movie that made me cry three times on a plane it’s amazing you should definitely watch it i put a link to its wiki page so you know which one i’m taking about

the worst witch (netflix series): v v cute redo of an older series that was originally based off of a book series

hush (movie): if you like suspense/a little bit of horror, this was actually an amazing movie 10/10 would recommend

inception / source code (movies): both really psychological films and if you haven’t seen them please do (also i ship arthur/eames so hard in inception whoops)

1st coffee shop prince (series): this is a k-drama romance/comedy you can kind online with subtitles easily and for free and i love it so much

scrubs (series): a medical fictional tv series that is hilarious and everyone should watch because EAAAGGGGLLLLLLEEEE and also doctor cox is super hot and sarcastic 10/10 on my gaydar for an older man

grimm (series): 10/10 nick is hot watch it for him

mash (series): old military comedy tv series that i grew up watching because both my parents were military and they really liked this show

ghost whisperer (series): honestly idk i just love it my favorite episode is the lost boys one in one of the first seasons.

books.

night angel trilogy by brent weeks. it is about assassins. it’s so cool. this series messed me up so much don’t love any of the characters they will all break your heart.

mistborn trilogy by brandon sanderson. people with really cool powers that revolve around emotions and metal and its my all-time favorite series tbh but don’t fall in love with kelsier i did and it was a fucking trap.

newsflesh trilogy by mira grant. zombies. and journalists. and snark. lots of snark.

all the percy jackson books but you’ve read those already.

all of the maze runner books but you’ve read those already.

the testing series by joelle charbonneau. omfg i love this series no regrets think kind of like hunger games but better.

the riyria revelations + chronicles by michael j. sullivan. i’m in love with hadrian he’s the best. assassins and knights and gwen is also really badass.

brave new world by aldous huxley. it’s more psychological and it will fuck you up. i hate every single character but i learned a lot from it.

songs.

my entire spotify??

kick-ass/sassy songs:

no scrubs - unlike pluto, joanna jones

it’s you - molly kate kestner

fuck you - lily allen

ugly heart - G.R.L.

hold my heart - lindsey stirling

call me - le malls, lilianna wilde

like that - bea miller

dickhead - kate nash

anything ed sheeran

that’s not my name - the ting tings

NO - meghan trainor

sorry not sorry - demi lovato (ava gave me this one)

that’s my girl - fifth harmony

sit still, look pretty - daya

indie/chill songs:

devil’s in the backseat -lostboycrow

after rain - dermot kennedy (LISTEN TO THIS GDI IT’S MY FAVORITE SONG)

anything by east forest

anything by sohn (especially their tremors album i adore it)

holloway road - tat carosielli

still life - aqualung

the moss - cosmo sheldrake

ghost - jacob lee

planets and stars - pavvla

don’t come easy - isaiah

simple as that - tanya ryan (also one of my old yoga instructors isnt that cool)

moon & stars - jae jin