#I totally hope nothing bad EVER happens to the four of them hahaha

[smilysstuff]

So who were the "kids" that Nevada was referring to? The Freelancers, the reds and blues, actual kids?

The 'Kids' Nevada was referring to was actually his group of friends, said friends are also Freelancers, Agent Utah, Oregon and Nebraska (preferably called Niki), their actually my two friend's OCs @mirror-archives, @gupshit and decided to mash the four of them together for fun. Their quartet name is weirdly called 'Quadruple the Mess', Quad mess for short. Man who'd name them that?(is the one who did). Nevada is most seen as the one to grab the three by the scruff of their necks if they get in trouble.

[justineps]

One thing I decided to completely change about myself is the fact that I will speak the truth, or at least what I believe to be is my truth, even if it pushes people away or causes them to look at me in a negative manner. I really started to feel better once I just blurted out what was genuinely on my mind. The first few times I let this happen, a heavy wave of anxiety surged throughout my entire body, and I remember my body temperature drastically increased. I didn’t receive positive reactions due to this though, but I felt so .. light and did not feel bad whatsoever once I cooled down. I don’t have much, or at all, to lose anymore, and I’ll never speak my truth with any intentions of hurting someone. After all, it is someone’s choice to be affected by it or actually think about what I had to say, albeit it not being the best way to probably convey it, which I know I still need to work on. But I want to be a person to tell someone what I feel like they dont want to hear, but actually should, rather than the clouded white lies that will do nothing for them other than feed their mind with responses that will more than likely come to bite them in the ass harder when that time will inevitably arise again. And in the end, others can view me as rude or mean, but for once, I know if someone will take the time to listen and think about what is said, rather than how it was said (I really need to continue to work on expressing my thoughts the way I hope to without stuttering or not making sense), then I’m confident that they’d feel I only did so because I cared. I thought about this as well, the caring part and just staying quiet, but nothing good for me will ever come my way if I never authentically change how I am towards others. I realized I ended up alone because I had put on so many masks all my life, that even I probably wouldn’t have known whether to help myself if I had asked.

The only thing that bothers me is that.. will any of this even matter? Where do I honestly move forward towards (sounds weird)? I haven’t felt the feeling of “home” in the longest time, but have come to terms that it definitely is not a place or the things that surround myself under a roof. In no way am I trying to sound like a negative doodoohead, but I’d like to believe that I’m at the point where l want to share whats left of my spirit, heart, and mind to be associated with anything or anyone that can reciprocate any excitement in both growth and love towards one another. I don’t see myself adopting a child in the future anymore, and my naive dream of having a small family of my own is starting to seem .. well, nothing but just a younger Justin’s dream.

P.S. I’m glad I got to connect with Francis a few times earlier this year and jokingly told him I hated him for being able to experience my dream only a few weeks after the night we shared what we ultimately desired in life, and spent hours talking about our fears, bucket list, and goals before our time comes close to an end. I told him I felt like I got close, but blew it as always, and he suggested what he always had from day one, to leave this place. I actually responded back with how I felt even if I were to leave and.. well, eh that’s just actual guy life talk at that point lol.

It’s been four years since I’ve genuinely been happy it was my birthday, and I surprisingly still have so many photos of everything. White Claws and a 3 gram “Galaxy: Blasters of the Universe- Cognac Honey” hahaha. I would probably hibernate or act like a total fool if I were to even have those this year, it’s been 2 years since I even had a good blunt and alcohol in my system. Lol I cant help but smile right now. Thanks for the memories. I wonder when it’ll be til another memory tops that night lol. Im alone, but I feel warm at this exact moment, so this is where I’ll end my digital journal entry. (i need to buy myself a nice writing pen/pencil lol!)

[rvmmm21]

Would you comsider a steamy wenrene where irene is gentle with her wannie? you can make it yandere but please I just need to see irene be nice to wendy for a change 😢😢😢😢

considered. written. how does it feel to get a whole bunch of NOTHING. hahaha. i tried, but what am i if not a frustrating pit of maybes. have your 50%. 

tw: wendy’s LIES.

– – – – –

“Wan–ah, don’t be ridiculous.” Joohyun calls back as Seungwan’s hand reaches for the door, patting the mattress beside her in that totally–not–demanding–but–demanding voice of hers. “I know you’ve been having nightmares. Sleep with me tonight.”

Seungwan freezes, then dips her gaze. Damn, the duvet on Joohyun’s side suddenly looks ten times fluffier than hers. It… can’t hurt, right? Just one night. After a visible deliberation, Seungwan edges her way over and gingerly settles down, lifting the duvet and artlessly snuggling under it with a nervous chuckle. Gosh, it’s even warmer than she’d expected. Or… wait, is that just her own body heat from how fast her heart is going? She has no idea. And it’s not like she can think of much other than the whiffs of that crisp fabric conditioner Joohyun loves to use. 

“Night, Wannie. Sweet dreams. I hope you—”

“G’night unnie,” Seungwan accidentally interjects Joohyun while she’s bidding her goodnight. She half expects an eye-roll for that awkward timing but Joohyun simply huffs fondly and turns to face away from her.

Wow, good job. No, seriously. Way to go, Seungwan. Jesus.

The older is out like a light, leaving the other sweating in the dark with a racing heart and an embarrassingly explicit reel of thoughts.

It’s fine, it’s not like she’ll know, right? I’ll just stay up, Seungwan thinks, pulling the duvet up under her chin. For a good two minutes, all she can hear is the sound of the soft snoring next to her. She focuses on her own mechanical breathing, staring up into the darkness. 

The gentle draft from the ceiling fan is drying her eyes out. That’s fine, though. Because she has no intention of sleeping.

As much as Seungwan is determined, so is the fatigue. And it isn’t long before she’s drifting off into the first proper sleep she’s had in forever. Thank god they established the mandatory ten inches of space between them before Joohyun knocked out. There’s no way Seungwan’s crossing that boundary anytime soon; invisible as it may be, and as loudly as Joohyun may have laughed at her when she suggested it.

What was it Joohyun called her? A weirdo? Whatever, she isn’t about to take any chances. Especially not when she’s almost four hundred percent sure Joohyun doesn’t know about the… little crush she’s harbouring.

A little later on into the night Seungwan feels a distant tapping on her shoulder, and then she’s opening her eyes to a gentle smile nudging her awake. It’s only her side profile, but Joohyun’s beauty is dazzling, even through the filter of the night. Seungwan unconsciously licks her lips. 

“Wan–ah, it’s nice but—” the older woman pauses for a soft yawn, “bit looser please… hard to breathe.”

Once Seungwan shakes herself awake enough to make sense of what she’s hearing, she barely manages to keep from having a heart attack right there and then. She is— to her absolute horror— curled right into Joohyun’s back, practically nuzzling into the nape of her neck with her arms wrapped (breath–takingly snugly, apparently) around her waist, like a little puppy snuggled up to the warmth of its mother.

“Oh!” she yelps, reeling back in shock and doing her best to let Joohyun know she’s repulsed at herself, not her. 

I— I thought you were my bolster, unnie?! She wants to scream.

Too bad she’s so preoccupied in berating herself to notice the look on Joohyun’s face. The one that screams she anything but minded. Seungwan tries to detach herself from Joohyun’s back, but to her surprise, Joohyun stops her with a firm— “It’s okay. Stay.”— and an arm on top of hers, holding it there. 

Guess they’re spooning tonight.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They’re kissing. Joohyun’s kissing her. Electrified dewdrops on grass blades catch between Seungwan’s prying fingertips, cool and wet. One by one, they’re absentmindedly plucked out of the soil when Joohyun connects their smiles in the humid summer air, murakami flowers embroidering their hearts together. 

The scent of vanilla–mint shampoo is cloying her nose. She’s tasting her, fingers are tangling in her hair, tilting her back slightly… 

“J–Joohyun unnie…” 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“W—Wannie?”

A perfect voice cuts through her dream, a hand on her shoulder already gingerly rousing her from her sleep.

Again.

“Wan—ah… you said my name.” And of course, Joohyun’s groggy voice sounds good enough to kiss, damn it. “Are you having a bad dream?”

“Mm… sorry unnie, sorry…” Seungwan mumbles softly, rolling onto her back with a huff and palming her eyes, trying to adjust to reality. 

Joohyun shimmies closer. Her vision is fuzzy, but she can still see Seungwan. Gosh, she thinks, giving her a once over, that dream must’ve been horrible. The poor thing is sweating. 

If only Joohyun knew the truth, the warmth in Seungwan’s cheeks might’ve been raised several degrees… alongside the warmth below her waistband. 

Suddenly the room is far, far too hot. Suddenly, Seungwan wishes she wasn’t trapped under Joohyun’s incredibly comfortable duvet with the most attractive woman on the planet. She tries to stretch her legs, tries to create a small air pocket to let some of that suffocating heat escape, but it does little to cool anything down. Ironically, it garners more of Joohyun’s attention, feeling the other girl shift so uncomfortably like that. After a couple of tense, silent moments, Seungwan’s tolerance snaps and she moves to get up. But Joohyun catches this instinctively and snakes an arm around her waist, tugging her down, stopping her from leaving again.

Seungwan seems adamant this time, though. “Unnie… I should go back to my room—”

Joohyun isn’t listening, choosing instead to press her with a question of her own. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you were dreaming about?” 

Whatever, Seungwan thinks, just give her the sparknotes version. There’s no need for her to know everything.

“We…” she admits slowly, “… we were in the grassy patch under the tree… you— you know, where we usually…?”

She pauses to make sure Joohyun is following. Sure enough, that patient nod gives her the answer she needs to nervously clear her throat.

“And it was raining but it stopped, and then… and then. Ahh, I don’t know. I think I need to cool off, unnie, I need to pee anyway,” Seungwan lies. She barely manages to pull the covers off her and push her hands into the mattress before Joohyun is gently holding her down to it, hovering over her in a way that has her airways clogged and her heartbeat an irregular mess.

“You’re sweating,” Joohyun points out the one thing Seungwan’s trying to hide. “You’re overheated. Are you feeling alright?”

Seungwan wants to say yes. So, so badly. But she shakes her head. It’s not a definitive shake, but it’s one vague enough that Joohyun remains inquisitive. Seungwan curses herself for being so honest. Why couldn’t she just push her out of the way? And did she have to agree to sleeping with her tonight? Why couldn’t she just have said it was a nightmare?

Why can she never lie to Joohyun? Even if it’s to preserve her own dignity?

“I’m going to the bathroom. I really have to pee.” Seungwan insists, and Joohyun is all but convinced. She looks down at the girl under her with such gentleness. And then she leans over, supporting herself on one elbow beside Seungwan’s head while she brings her other hand up to caress her cheek.

There’s a tiny gasp from the girl at the sudden (but not entirely unwelcome) closeness. “... unnie… you— you’re too close.”

Joohyun gracefully ignores her, moving her fingers from Seungwan’s face to trace the loose neckline of her t-shirt, showing her exactly what she means. “I think you want me closer, don’t you, Wannie?”

“You’re blushing all over. Look, here…” Joohyun starts with a cold finger on Seungwan’s lower abdomen, sending a heated chill up her spine. She sucks in a sharp breath when Joohyun folds the hem of her sleep shirt up, exposing the flushed skin on her stomach. “... and here, too…”

“U-Unnie… please…” 

But her unnie’s hand wanders wherever it pleases, ignorant to Seungwan’s helpless pleas. It strays further and further south and the younger girl isn’t even aware of what’s going on until there are fingers teasing at the waistband of her shorts. 

“Seungwan?” 

— who has been subconsciously licking her lips, stops as soon as she realises Joohyun’s eyes have been following the movements of her tongue the entire time. 

“Seungwan,” Joohyun repeats, resting a hand on her thigh, “what happened next, in your dream…”

Ah, what’s the worst that could happen? Seungwan tells Joohyun the truth and spontaneously combusts. That, or they never speak or look each other in the eyes ever again. Joohyun’s already gotten this far, Seungwan thinks she has nothing else to lose.

Her voice is hardly louder than a whisper. “We… kissed. You— you kissed me.”

She isn’t sure if the older woman is actually paying attention to the highlight of her dream anymore, because the feathery touch that had been resting on her hip bone is now skimming down, seeking the heat emanating from between her legs. She lets out an embarrassed squeak that dissolves into a strangled whimper when Joohyun strokes over her panties.

“And did you like it, Wannie? Was I good?” 

“Wha— huh? Unnie, what do you m—”

Joohyun doesn’t wait for a coherent answer. She leans down and shushes Seungwan’s stutter with a kiss, and a fierce new blush scribbles across the blonde’s cheeks as her eyes instinctively flutter closed.

Right now, Seungwan can’t deny it no matter how much she wants to.

“You’re amazing, unnie.”

Joohyun smiles. “Don’t worry Wannie, everything’s going to be alright. Let me take care of you now, okay?”

With bashful eyes, Seungwan nods. If Joohyun says it’ll be okay, she has no doubt that it will.

[doc-pickles]

it’s nothing funny just to talk (p.2)

What happens when you text that random number graffitied on a bathroom stall in your favorite bar? Jo Wilson is about to find out. - In which Bar Princess and Doctor Evil Spawn meet via text.

Saturday 12:09 PM

you know what might be worse than pyramid schemes?

bridal showers

this is horrendous 

Same woman you were drinking in solidarity to?

obviously, I have like four friends 

I thought teachers were like outgoing and bubbly?

oh hell no, socializing is not my cup of tea

one of the other bridesmaids just asked who i was texting so I told her jack the ripper

Oh you couldn’t even give me a good one

i’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that 

My day off and the weekend finally coincide, which means I’m not leaving my couch all day. 

I wish I were you this shower is gonna kill me 

teachers on the weekend are a fun sight to see

You’re not partaking this time?

no i’m DD

it’s for the best, I did throw up on my shoes last weekend 

How crazy is a bridal shower that you need a DD?

there’s a mimosa bar and they’re already playing never have I ever

the mother of the groom is starting something with the mother of the bride

I gotta deal with this 

  Saturday 3:11 PM

I deserve bottle of wine for all of the shit I dealt with today

I never wanna be a maid of honor ever again

Maybe we should rename you Maid of Dishonor?

wooooooow

I throw up on my shoes ONE TIME

How’d the battle of the mothers go?

oh it was horrendous 

groom is from a rich family and bride grew up on a farm… you know how it goes 

Doesn’t sound fun. Glad you made it out. 

barely

how’s your day off going

Amazing. I get to watch baseball and sit on the couch with a bag of chips and a beer. I’m living the dream. 

I envy you

they’re making us go out again

Do you get to drink during this escapade?

yes thank god

manhattan or moscow mule?

A whiskey drinker? You might be the perfect woman. 

don’t try to butter me up, i’ve never even met you in person

We can change that. 

  Saturday 6:14 PM

Do you think birds have dreams?

I thought I was supposed to get drunk

You were talking too long. And I’m not drunk. 

I can’t think of another reason why you’d ask me about bird dreams

You’re a teacher. I was curios. 

i’m not a bird specialist

personally I do not think that birds can dream

I’m telling them you said that. 

the birds?

Yes. They deserve to know the truth. 

have you just been sitting on the couch drinking beer all day?

did you even eat

Yeah I had pizza for lunch 

what about dinner?

It’s not dinner time yet. 

dude it’s 6

Oh shit really?

Hahaha that explains it 

psh and you said I was bad when I was drunk

you’re freaking Snow White 

Is this ebcause I asked about the birds 

yes it is

I gotta go, Maggie says i’m not netting the quota for fun

Maggie sounds like a buzzkill

she’s the assistant principal, i’m scared she’ll fire me if I don’t listen

jk… kinda 

  Saturday 12:32 AM

Incoming Voice Call

  “Jo! Put the phone down! You should not be calling anyone right now!”

“Hello?”

“Doctor Evil Spawn! I’m so glad you picked up.”

“Are you drunk now?”

“Noooo….. maybe. I just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi princess.”

“Your voice is nice. It’s a good voice, it’s sexy and I like it.”

“You’re kinda crazy, you know that?”

“Josephine Wilson! Give me the phone!”

“Woah who full named you? They sound angry.”

“That’s Maggie, she’s trying to get me to go home. I can’t go home Maggie, I’m talking to a hot doctor! And he has a sexy voice!”

“You’ve never even seen me, you don’t know if I’m hot.”

“I’m judging off your sexy voice and what few characteristics I know about you. I’d be shocked if you weren’t hot.”

“You have too much faith in me.”

“I have to go, Maggie is dragging me out of the bar. Byeeee hot doctor!”

“Goodnight princess, don’t throw up on your shoes this time.” 

  Sunday 9:58 AM

How’re your shoes looking?

  Sunday 11:22 AM

You’re still dead? I mean you did call me half past midnight… but I thought you’d be up by now.

  Sunday 1:46 PM

Are you embarrassed because of what you said on the phone? Frankly I found it endearing. 

  Sunday 3:18 PM

As a doctor, I’m advising you to drink more fluids and get food in your system. Maybe a banana. It’ll make you feel less shitty, trust me.

  Sunday 6:17 PM

Hope you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. 

  Monday 7:23 AM

oh my god I am so sorry

I dropped my phone in Maggie’s car and I just got it back

wait you were worried about me weren’t you

Well you fell off the face of the earth… so yeah. 

awwww well it’s nice to know that someone would notice if I was kidnapped and murdered 

Didn’t you say I was the one that would kidnap and murder you? 

yes but i’m having a change of heart

Is it because of my sexy voice?

I was kinda hoping I didn’t say that out loud

whoops

I told you I found it endearing. 

flattery will get you everywhere

gotta go, class is lining up and they’re already screaming

I’ll pray for you. 

  Monday 8:08 PM

dude the thai place on 7th across from old navy?

amazing

i’m in heaven

Oh so we’ve reached the stage of giving each other food recommendations?

obviously 

this is a serious relationship 

Chinese place across from Joe’s Bar has the best egg rolls. Perfect drunchies. 

i’ve never been to joe’s 

I live right around the corner from there

So we’re neighbors then? I’m off of Fullerton. 

I guess we are

that’s exciting, i bet i’ve seen you at the grocery store 

Bold of you to assume I make it to the grocery store. 

honestly same

I usually guilt steph or izzie into it

You’re the chaotic good of the group aren’t you?

obviously 

I keep things balanced 

what’re you doing?

On a break, almost done for the night. I have to round on post ops and then I’m done. 

nice!!! did you get anything fun today?

Not really just surgeries I could do in my sleep. 

typical monday’s

I have to go, we have a field trip tomorrow and i’m not emotionally prepared

Oof. Have fun, don’t die. 

who the hell ends texts like that?

A doctor. Obviously. Night princess. 

goodnight Snow White

  Tuesday 12:18 PM

whoever decided to bring 42 fourth graders to the science discovery museum should be fired 

Isn’t that you?

maybe

maybe not

It was totally you. How about a deal?

deal with an internet stranger? 

fine but if I die i’m gonna be pissed

How about I drop off a bottle of wine on your porch on my way to work? I work the night shift again. 

hmmmm I don’t think i’m supposed to give my address to strangers

but i’m pretty sure if you were going to kill me you would’ve done it by now

See you’re getting the hang of it. 

okay i’ll give you my address

but if there’s a bomb we’re going to have words

If there’s a bomb you’ll be dead. 

  Tuesday 4:54 PM

red wine AND egg rolls?

if I didn’t know better i’d think you’re trying to woo me

I think I need to meet you before we can say that. 

thank you!!! 

my roomies are teasing me about taking wine from a stranger

You’re welcome. And I’m not a stranger. I know your name and where you live. 

aaaaand way to make things creepy

BTW your blonde roommate was checking out my ass. 

hahahahaha that’s izzie for you

she has a boyfriend don’t worry 

I wasn’t too concerned about her, just thought you might want to beat her up or something. 

intentionally trying to start a cat fight? classy

she says you’re “super dreamy” so that’s a plus

Glad to know I passed the checkpoint. Does this mean I get to meet you now?

maybe maybe not

we have learned one good thing though

And what’s that?

even if you are a serial killer, you have a good taste in wine and your attractive

i’ll die happy

  Tuesday 7:32 AM

If I never work another overnight again it’ll be too soon. 

yeah you’ve been working a lot of those 

wtf is up with that

I lost a bet with Arizona. 

oof that doesn’t sound fun

at least I have nice stable working hours

summers off

i’m living the dream

Why do you do that?

do what?

Send forty texts. There’s a button to put in a period and start a new sentence. In the same text. 

you really do text like a 60 year old

I’m sophisticated, obviously. 

I know we’ve never met but I need a favor

Oof. After I dropped off wine for you?

the favor includes free food and alcohol

I’m listening… 

that wedding i’m in is next weekend

and I don’t have a date :-)

I wish I could, I’m going out of town. 

booooo

it’s okay, after i’m done being a brides bitch my weekend will open up

i’ll also be done with school for year

So I can take you out on a proper date? Instead of texting you all day? 

you do realize that you’re texting a girl who found your number at 11 pm while shit faced in a bar right

That’s always how I pictured meeting the woman of my dreams. 

oh shut up

I suppose i’ll go on a date with you, man I know nothing about 

I’m Alex, I’m 27 and I don’t think pineapple belongs on pizza

deal breaker sorry

pineapple + pizza = deliciousness 

Well at least you know more about me. 

that I do

jo, 25, who’s favorite color is purple and eats cinnamon toast for breakfast everyday, has to go educate the tiny humans

talk to you later old man

Oh come on you’re two years younger!

  Tuesday 1:26 PM

have you ever had to hot glue rhinestones to candle votives 

because I am

and I hate it

WTF is a votive?

those tiny little glass things you put a candle into

Oh. Why are you bedazzling them? 

wedding prep

today is a half day so bridezilla has us crafting for her 

Are all of you brides bitches teachers?

yes

it’s hell

you try to talk about your class and all you hear about is peonies and roses and baby’s breath

I’m glad I’m a dude then. 

ha! you better be 

oh my god, she’s gone psycho

if I don’t text she took my phone

Don’t die, I’m looking forward to our date. 

  Tuesday 7:17 PM

RIP Jo, Avid Cinnamon Toast Eater 

Killed by Her Insane Bride Friend  

I made it out!!!!

barely

Nice, I’ve heard a rabid bridezilla is hard to escape. 

it was the worst 

but she let me go when I told her I had to finish putting in grades for the year

(I finished last night)

I for one am proud of you. That’s badass. 

lol i’ll keep that in mind 

thursday is our last day before freedom

I think I might get shit faced as soon as I leave work

I support it wholeheartedly. 

good because you’ll probably get more bar princess texts

Or if I’m lucky a phone call where you call me sexy again. 

hey hey I didn’t call you sexy

I called your voice sexy

there’s a difference 

Oh sorry, I don’t know how I overlooked that. 

mhm sure 

tomorrow is crazy hair day 

Does this mean I get to see a picture of you? Because I’m definitely interested in seeing what you do with this spirit day thing. 

i’ll save it for when we meet

I’m determined not to see you until our date

Suit yourself. Gotta go remove stitches. 

oooohh how exhilarating!! 

  Wednesday 9:42 AM

How goes the crazy hair?

oh just dandy 

half my hair is pink 

You seem like the type to be able to pull of pink hair. Plus it’s pretty rad. 

you’re too kind 

I bribed the kids with cookies and a movie 

i’m totally winning today

I just took out an appendix, I think I win. 

just saying I don’t think that our jobs are comparable 

but taking out an appendix sounds cool

Not as cool as cookies though. 

I have a bunch left over

should I drop them on your doorstep? 

Only if you want to. I wouldn’t say no to a good cookie. I’m here till 5. 

i’ll stop by after work!! 

we have another half day

Sweet. I’m glad you’re the one that found my number. 

  Wednesday 12:56 PM

Dude. George says you look like an adorable preschooler. 

I FORGOT I HAD MY HAIR LIKE THIS

he was very understanding 

Rave reviews on your “kindness and beautiful eyes” 

oh my god 

I have to die now 

He might’ve mentioned your ass too. I’m painting a beautiful mental picture. 

oh lord

brb gotta wash out this stupid hair dye 

maybe bang my head against the shower wall

Oooh tell me more. I love a dirty shower fantasy. 

oh booo

you’re not even trying anymore 

  Wednesday 5:55 PM

remember the titans is on tv

and it’s really good 

in case you didn’t know 

That movie is 20 years old, of course I know it’s good. 

well clearly I didn’t 

i didn’t have cable growing up 

Oh neither did I, I just stole it from the neighbors. 

that’s pretty bad ass for a kid 

Had to keep my siblings entertained. You know how it is. 

nope i’m an only child

That sounds like a dream. I have two younger siblings and they’re both a pain in the ass. 

if you knew the half of it you’d be begging to trade places with me 

I’m looking forward to hearing all of it. 

  Thursday 11:53 AM

FREEDOM!!!!!!

I AM FREE!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

I’m assuming school is out?

Y E S

$20 says I can sneak out of here without bridezilla roping me into a stupid arts and crafts project 

I hope so, I’m enjoying talking to you today. 

aren’t you at work??

Nope. Today is my day off. 

and you’re not watching baseball and drinking beer?

It’s not even noon yet. 

time is an illusion

it’s shots o clock somewhere or whatever they say

I’m now learning that the only cultural education you have is the Backstreet Boys. I think our second date will have to be a movie marathon. 

already planning our second date?

ambitious 

I like it

My conversation is fairly limited if I can’t drop a pop culture reference or two during the day. 

I can see your points and i’m willing to sit myself down and watch the classics

okay gotta sneak past bridezilla… wish me luck

Good luck 

  Thursday 4:35 PM

Pork shoulder, corn, and potatoes all on the grill. 

i’m jealous

I can’t cook to save my life 

thank god we’re going out tonight

To celebrate finally breaking free for the summer?

exactly!! steph and izzie decided we needed to go to a club after dinner

i’ve never been to one before 

Overpriced drinks and random guys grinding up on you all night. Not the best experience. 

oh so random guys grind on you when you go out?

Shut up. 

hahahaha 

I’ve never even been to a club before. Not my scene. I just live with women so I know these things. 

well i’ll update you on the happenings

let you know if I have to pay $20 for a drink

who’s grinding on my ass

you know normal everyday things

Woah woah woah. 

what??

are you jealous??

I’m just saying if you’re gonna be shaking your ass, you might as well get random guys to buy you overpriced drinks. 

you’re making some very good points 

Of course I am. By the way, George wants me to tell you that you have a very shakeable ass so you should be taking in free drinks. 

great I have to go die again 

brb gonna drOWN MYSELF IN THE SHOWER 

  Thursday 10:38 PM

good news

i’ve secured three free drinks and a round of shots for all six of us

this ass is making money baby

I’ve created a monster. Who else is there?

steph, izzie, april, maggie, and levi

You brought the whole staff out didn’t you?

yes and I’m quite skilled at getting them drunk

You’re three drinks in and still texting correctly?

I think I danced it all off

need more fireball

And that’s another thing. Who willingly shoots Fireball?

me bitch

Ohh I love it when you call me names. 

mmm i’m sure you do

okay i’m gonna go get more drinks

wish me luck

Good luck, I’m sure your ass will take in more than enough. 

  Thursday 11:57 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Helloo?”

“Hi, it’s me.”

“I can afford caller ID, I knew it was you.”

“Were you sleeping?”

“No, I was about to head upstairs but I’m not tired.”

“Oh good. I just got home.”

“You sound tired. Did you have fun?”

“It was nice, Steph went home with some guy she met and Izzie went to her boyfriends so I’m home alone.”

“So you decided to call me?”

“I missed your voice, I told you that you have a nice voice.”

“You said that I have a sexy voice.”

“Oh shut up. I wanted to call before I went to sleep.”

“You’ve grown fond of me haven't you?”

“If you’re gonna say it like a weirdo then yes… I have grown fond of you, Snow White.”

“I guess I can say the same about you Bar Princess. Are you yawning over there?”

“Just a little bit, but I like talking to you.”

“It’s midnight, I wouldn’t blame you for falling asleep.”

“I don’t wanna fall asleep, I wanna keep talking to you.”

“How about I tell you the story of the time I was bridesman and I had to go to a bachelorette party?”

“Okay I’m listening…”

  Friday 10:15 AM

I feel like a teenager 

who the hell falls asleep on the phone

i’m in a bad rom com aren't I 

Your snoring is really cute. 

oh christ

well at least I didn’t take body shots off a male stripper

I was really hoping you’d be asleep before I got to that part. 

oh nooo I remember that very clearly 

i’ll be filing that away for blackmail

Rude. I guess I’ll save your snoring in that file too. 

touché, I like the way you play the game

I’m an experienced player. Gotta go scrub in on a fundoplication. 

have fun!!!

  Friday 2:41 PM

I got bored and googled a fundoplication

that’s some crazy stuff, you’re kind of a badass

Easy peasy, all in a day's work. 

nooo that’s amazing stuff!! 

i’m in my classroom scraping gum and glitter off of the desks

Well you’re the reason people become doctors so I'd say you’re pretty important too. 

awww you’re still trying to impress me

it’s a good look on you

I’m trying to be a gentleman. Maybe I’ll bring up your puke shoes just to be an asshole. 

you know what even the mention of that can’t bring down my good mood

do you think I could get in trouble for drinking wine in my classroom?

Well there’s no kids around so… no. But I like the rebellious attitude you have towards the situation. 

if i’m gonna sit in a classroom with no AC and scrape boogers off desks all day then I deserve some damn wine

You’re right and you should say it. 

I DESERVE MY WINE I EARNED IT

oh shit maggie is outside i’m so fired

Hey you got her free shots last night, she should be thankful. 

you know what you’re right

oh shit it’s bridezilla

Run.

whew

forgot we have our final dress fitting tomorrow

i’m not dead yet

Oh good. I kinda don’t want the first time I see you to be your funeral. 

hahaha very funny

gotta go, we have to do this stupid year end meeting

I hate it here

Have fun, and remember don’t stab yourself with a pen!

  Saturday 8:13 AM

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING

I wanna die 

bridezilla is making us jog

and she took away my donuts

  Saturday 9:53 AM

Jesus Christ. You need new friends. 

honestly she’s not that bad when she’s not stressing over this wedding 

she’s crying because she has a pimple

Oof that’s a tough run. Unfortunately, I have to spend the day out on a boat. 

boohoo I don’t not feel bad for you

unless like… you have some childhood trauma from a boat

Nope. I get to relax and drink beer all day long. 

yeah well then screw you

I have to try my stupid dress on and go to a stupid lunch and I CAN’T EVEN HAVE DONUTS

Aren’t you at home?

yes, steph invited everyone here since we have the space

why?

Check your porch. 

YOU BROUGHT ME DONUTS?! 

you’re my favorite

thank you thank you thank you 

You’re welcome, I’m happy to be of service. 

ohhhh I might just kiss you when we finally meet 

I wouldn’t say no to that. 

okay I gotta go hide in the closet and eat my donuts 

thank you for thinking of me!!

It’s all I ever do. 

  Saturday 2:16 PM

How goes the dress trying on?

it was good!! mine fits and we have a beautiful bride on our hands 

Good. I’m glad your day is getting better. I think I’m getting a sunburn. 

you better not

that shit is dangerous 

go find sunscreen 

Now you’re concerned about me huh?

always

did you put the sunscreen on

Yes because I knew you’d spontaneously implode if I didn’t. 

good 

I didn’t want to you to burst into flames sitting in the sun

As a doctor, I can tell you that most likely would not be what happened.

now we have to sit through a boring ass lunch

it’s what the mother of the groom insists on

Is she paying for it though? …. yes

Well then stop complaining.

okay okay fine

hey quick question

which fork do i stab myself with

Go order a steak and drink an expensive glass of wine.

  Saturday 10:39 PM

Incoming Voice Call

“Well well well, how the tables have turned.” “Bar Priiiiiincessss.” “Oh my god. This is so going in the blackmail file.”

“No don’t do that. If Jo finds out I was singing to another girl she’ll be mad.” “And why don’t you want Jo to be mad at you?” “Because I want to kiss her. And hug her. And see her face.”

“Well do I have a surprise for you.” “Oh I love surprises!”

“Jo and Bar Princess are the same person. I’m Jo.” “Holy crap! NO way!”

“Yes way, isn’t that crazy?”

“Can you tell Jo that she’s the nicest person I’ve ever met.” “I will relay the message. Jo is going to bed now though. Goodnight Alex.” “Good night Bar Princess, I miss you!”

[leggomylino]

light switch | yandere!seungmin

Genre: yandere, romance/fluff, thriller, a little angst, some comedy (mainly in the first half) Pairing: yandere!Seungmin x reader Word count: ~11k (and this is only the first half…) Warnings: Author rambling, run-on sentences, mild language (censored), a few memes, moments of high tension and possible anxiety, ooc, and mild abuse/violence A/N: Requests are open~ | Masterlist in bio! | rip this turned out WAYYY longer than I meant it to and it’s my first time writing this format (and yandere for that matter) but, I hope y’all enjoy :’)) Thanks for reading!! <3

Okay so

You and Seungmin had been friends for a while

Y’all met in junior high and immediately hit it off

Here’s what happened fam

It was your turn to stay after class and clean up

The other kids who had been assigned to help you had already done their jobs and left

You let them off easy because it was raining and you didn’t want anyone to miss the bus

You always walked home since you lived in the neighborhood and you liked the rain so it was no big deal to you

*cringey middle schooler voice* “Hey is it okay if we head out? Are you okay by yourself?”

“Oh yeah sure go ahead! Have a great day!”

“Thanks! See you later (y/n)!”

Yeah a n y w a y 

So it’s raining out and it’s just you in the classroom after school, cleaning the whiteboard and sorta zoning out

The cloudy weather and sound of steady rainfall on the asphalt outside isn’t helping

But luckily you’re almost done, just gotta get a chair to reach the top of the board and--

Chunk!

What the

Um

Hello?

What was that sis

You look over your shoulder mid-swiping to see the silhouette of a person climbing in through the window

But you can’t see who it is at first cause right at that moment there’s a flash of lightning that lights up the whole room and casts everything in a veil of black and the hollow roar of thunder (just like in all the cliche horror movies), and a scream gets caught in your throat (like half of the cliche horror movies)

It successfully freaks you out a bit but

Once you’re able to see clearly again you realize it’s a boy

A boy you recognize

Barely tho

Like hardly

Because he’s honestly never around

Always skipping class

Typical delinquent kid

His name, you scarcely recall, is Kim Seungmin

He probably thinks he’s some sort of billy-badass or smth, you dunno

Well he’s just frozen like you are, halfway inside with his legs straddling the windowsill, soaking wet, just staring at you

Staring

Staring

Still staring...

You furrow your brow at him, slowly getting back into the groove of getting your business done and hightailing it outta there. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

He smirks and leans forward, resting his hand on his chin, just watching you while half of him is still getting soaked by rain; he looks like the freakin’ Cheshire Cat. “The same could be said about you.”

You’re about to ask him what kind of a comeback that is when it dawns on you that you’re still staring as well, and you visibly shun yourself and whirl away to face the board again. He chuckles and you hear him toss his incredibly late ass all the way inside, closing the window and leaving a trail of rainwater and mud and dead leaves and outside nastiness on the floor that you just finished sweeping and cleaning uGH WTF BILLY-LATEASS WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT

Great now you’re gonna miss the newest episode of Totally Spies and that rerun of Sailor Moon you were really looking forward to...all because this punk had to show up half past four.

He lifts one of the chairs off the desk and takes a seat, and when you curiously peek over your shoulder to see wtfudge he’s doing, he’s watching you. Again. Just sitting at what would be his usual seat in the middle of the room if he were ever in class on time at all. You roll over the teacher’s desk chair to finish cleaning the board and have just decided to leave the trail of dirt and wet grass for him to clean up

But uh

Unfortunately you have a brain made of spaghetti like the author

And well

You somehow managed to forget for a second that the chair has wheels, and the floors are still a little slick

So the moment you clamber your (enter height here) ass up on that chair guess what happens?

Just guess

Yeah you guessed it

London bridge comes falling down

Well in this case (y/n) bridge

It all happened so fast

And yet

You never touch the ground

No you didn’t spontaneously gain superpowers like in a Marvel or DC comic

This isn’t My Hero Academia either, you’re definitely quirkless

It’s this guy

He actually managed to throw himself over the desk and slide over just in time to save you

Wow maybe this is a bit of a superhero movie

Go Spiderminnie B))

Batminnie?

...Okay lame names and rambling aside, he saved you

You stare at him with a shocked look on your face, a bit winded from the experience

But also at the way he’s staring at you

It’s kinda sus sis

He’s looking at you like...almost like he’s seeing right through you

Into your soul

You know how they say the eyes are the window to the soul?

Well this bish is sunlight and he’s cutting right through...effortlessly

Gracefully radiating a strange unnatural light you aren’t really sure how to define

It’s weird, and foreign, and a bit uncomfortable

But a part of you kinda likes it

Which bothers you because sure this guy did just save you from getting a concussion and possibly breaking your neck but still

“Uh...thank you…” you mutter, not sure what else to say. It’s a miracle your spaghetti brain even managed to remember to say “thank you” at all smh

He’s smiling down at you kindly (even tho it’s a bit creepy, surely he means well) and uh

Does he plan on letting go of you anytime soon?

I mean 

He’s still wet and you like the rain and all but

Okay there we go he’s setting you down now

Phew see he’s not a weirdo or anything, it’s all good

“That was a smart move you just pulled. I’m guessing you aren’t very fluent in the common sense department.”

Uh eXCUSE ME?!

Okay wow rude much

Who says something like that after saving someone?

Who says something like that to anyone they barely know ever?

Way to ruin the moment … wait what moment

There wasn’t a moment

That wasn’t a moment that was just uh...he was just…

:)))) moving on

You squint at him and scramble up to your feet to get away from this rude boy who you’re just starting to notice is kinda cute even if the way he looks at you is a little creepy and his attitude needs work, dusting yourself off and inwardly cringing at the chill snaking up your side. That’s just from the rainwater, right...? “Like you’re one to talk.”

He laughs at that...his laugh sounds like a bell. A bit obnoxious, but it’s still pleasing to you. And that makes you pretty angry.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“Stop laughing at me!”

“Huh?!”

“Huh?!”

“I mean it! Cut it out!”

“I mean it! Cut it out!”

He’s mimicking everything you say in a horribly applicated high-pitched voice, which only fuels your anger and frustration. Not to mention your embarrassment.

You’re embarrassed, right? That’s why your face feels so hot right now? Or you’re running a fever. Maybe you caught the bug that’s going around. People catch colds all the time during a rain shower, it’s only in every cliche romance anime ever.

Wait a sec…

Romance anime?!

Uh hahaha no no sis that’s not what this was

Not in the slightest

But I mean

It’s all set up like one

The rain

After school atmosphere

Cute delinquent guy with a bad attitude rescuing and teasing airheaded good student

Crap crap crap

Abort mission abort abort

You gotta scram baby

So that’s just what you do

...Well you try to anyway

But next thing you know he’s lifting you up in his arms and like

Dude

Have you not heard about personal space before?!

You turn your heated face down to him and he’s smiling up at you, so sweetly, so purely, all rainbows and sunshine

“Sorry, I was just teasing you. I thought maybe you could use a lift?” ❀

Well crap

He wasn’t wrong tho

Hnnnnn you can feel your face heating up again; er, even more

HNNNNN THIS REALLY IS AN ANIME ROMANCE ASDFGHJKL;

Okay okay calm down (y/n)

Just go with the flow

No use fighting it

Nothing good ever comes of fighting it

So you smile and mumble your thanks and let it happen

And guess what?

You two end up becoming the best of friends \^-^/

It’s quite cute actually

And it happens very naturally too

A nice slow burn transition into acquaintances, then friends, then good friends, and finally by the time you reach high school, y’all are besties

He’s always there for you when you need him

...

Like, always

It’s kinda strange actually...

He always knows right where to find you and texts you the moment you unlock your phone to text him

You: 𝖶𝗈𝗐, 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎! 𝗈𝖠𝗈

Him: 𝖮𝗁 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒? 𝖧𝖺𝗁𝖺𝗁 / 𝖶𝗈𝗐, 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝖽𝖽𝗌? / 𝖨 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎!! :) / 𝖦𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝖨'𝗆 𝗉𝗌𝗒𝖼𝗁𝗂𝖼 :𝗉

But more recently, it’d gone a little something more like:

“𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁, 𝖨 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 <𝟥”

… *shrugs* 

Guess he’s got some kind of a sixth sense or something

He just knows you so well

But you don’t think much of it because the two of you do spend an awful lot of time together

As in you’re practically joined at the hip when you’re not separated by classes or your mom calling you home for dinner if you happen to go out on the town somewhere

Usually it’s the ice cream parlor or the mall

His buddies Felix and Changbin work at one of the shops there so you like to stop by and say hi to them

But you don’t stay too long because Seungmin really values your alone time

Just the two of you strolling side by side, sometimes hand in hand, while he listens to you ramble on about your day and get excited over cute things in the storefront windows and grumble about being hungry every time you pass the food court

You always tug him in front of one of the stands with the full intent of buying, yet he always ends up paying; he simply insists on it

Because he loves it

Your whining 

Your excitement

The way you ramble over the speed limit and express your passion so effortlessly

It’s real to him

Attractive

Inspiring

Photogenic 

He’d bottle each memory up and relive them over and over again if he could

Of course they’ll always be in the picturebook of his heart, but that’s a little cringe

He doesn’t care though cause it’s true

Watching you twitch your nose and turn your head like a muskrat as the scent of fresh cinnabuns wafts through the air 

It makes him smile and beam with delight and the whole atmosphere becomes warm and inviting

Of course, you don’t know that

Because Kim Seungmin isn’t an open book

More like a locked diary (with chains all wrapped around it like something out of a medieval fairy tale)

Some people have questioned why the two of you aren’t dating yet

But Seungmin’s too shy to say anything; the very notion makes him feel faint and his heart race; and you always dodge the question or tell people you’re simply “just friends”

Because to be honest, any feelings you thought you had for him have sorta cooled down into a comfortable friendship 

And while you may have thought about the two of you being an item before

You’re not sure how he feels 

Before you rant at the author whAt do YoU mEAN hAve yOU nOt beEn pAYInG aTTENtiOn to WhaT’S gOinG On?! 

LET ME (well you) EXPLAIN

While the two of you HAVE been rather inseparable over time since that fateful encounter in junior high

Seungmin is still a bit of an odd duck

Ya know him

But sometimes it feels like you don’t

Lately he’s been getting harder and harder to read

At least when it comes to the feelings department

Aka pathos

You know he certainly cares for you, a lot

And you care for him...a lot

But surely it doesn’t mean anything...more

He’s like the brother you never had

Just looking out for you, wanting the best for you, like family

It’s not anything romantic~ or lustful~ or anything like that …

Is it?

I mean uh

So what if you cuddled while watching movies together, and when you started to drift off against his chest you distinctly felt him place a soft kiss atop your head? So what if you shared milkshakes and ice cream sundaes at the parlor while holding hands beneath the table and speaking of hands you both blushed and giggled cutely when they touched while reaching for the popcorn at the same time? So what if he made you flower crowns and took pictures of you looking like a beautiful mess down by the river, or at the beach, or in the garden behind his house? So what if he occasionally showered you with gifts and bought you food and always left you the biggest mess of flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s day and worked himself tirelessly trying to teach you material you didn’t understand, and was the first one calling to see how you were doing when you got sick, even going so far as to skip class to bring you soup and tease that “you probably caught that dummy virus you had the day we met” and stayed sitting crisscross applesauce on the floor while you laughed stuffily at Tuxedo Mask calling Usagi/Sabrina a Meatball Head and he smiled at your congested laughter while mimicking you in a memey fashion (to which you respond by throwing used tissues at him that never get very far), copying all of the days notes you missed into your journal with that surprisingly pretty cursive handwriting of his...and leaving cute little love poetry off to the side for you to find later...so what if...something is starting to click inside your head...it doesn’t mean anything. None of it does. None of that meant anything!! \(>-<)/ …

……

……...right?

You scream internally into the void

For you do not know 

(╥﹏╥)

One day after school of your senior year you’re doing rounds like you normally do

And you whine like you usually do

And he snickers like he regularly does

And y’all wander over to the food court like two happy little love birds (to him) and a couple of friends in a we-aren’t-dating-we’re-just-great-buds-it’s-complicated relationship (to you)

And that’s when you see him

Wow

I mean WOW

This new guy behind the counter

You recognize him from school

He just transferred to your school from out of town

His name is

Uh...

Shoot what’s his name? (._.”) ??

It’s almost your turn in line

Guess you’re about to find out ♥

Gosh he’s gorgeous wowowow

He’s looking more attractive the closer you get, and you’ve only seen him from a distance at school and he was ALREADY the bees knees then

You take a step forward up to the counter…

That is until Seungmin stops you

This bish just completely cut you off 

His tall 5’9 ass is completely blocking your view of Hunkilicious >:((

Your peeking around him as best you can, but it’s hard when he’s constantly shifting his weight in time with you; you still manage to get a glimpse though, and wowza he’s fine (♥‿♥)

That sandy blonde hair

Those gorgeous bright eyes

A whole snacc sis

You smile at him while Minnie’s placing your order, and he catches your shy little wave, sending a flawless wink back at ya

 (/❛o❛)/❤,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~ o(~_^)o

OOF

MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

HE GOT YOU

ONE HIT KO

AHHHHHH <3

If love at first sight is a thing

This may very well be it

He’s. So. Cute~ 乂❤���❤乂

At least you think so

Seungmin, on the other hand…

…

Not so much :))

In fact

The way he’s looking at this guy

You may not know what he’s thinking

But you can tell

He’s trying really hard to put up a normal/average front

His aura is…

Well

It’s not pleasant that’s for sure

When you two stand off to the side, waiting for your order

You tug at his sleeve and ask him if he’s alright

“Hm?” He snaps out of glaring daggers to peer down at you, smiling softly. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

You highly doubt that, but you aren’t about to open any doors that should remain locked

“Okay…”

Just then your order is being called, by the cute blonde by that recently stole your heart

You instantly light up like a Christmas tree, and before Seungmin can make a move you dash over to the counter to pick it up

Leaving Minnie in your dust

“……”

He doesn’t say a word

Meanwhile, back at the food stand, you’re taking the bag of goods from…

You’re squinting at his nametag…

Only to notice he isn’t wearing one. Now you feel kind of dumb.

“It’s Jaemin,” he laughs, dropping some extra napkins in the bag. But also…

Why is winking at you like that?

“Maybe I’ll be hearing from you sometime?”

What…

You look down into the bag

Sure enough, there’s a phone number scribbled out in pen over the top napkin

...Wow. He’s not even trying to be sneaky about it. He’s letting you know what’s up.

But doesn’t he think that…?

You look at him earnestly. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but um…”

His eyes grow soft, and looks disappointed all of a sudden. But he seems to be taking whatever he thinks is going on respectfully. “Oh, so you are in a relationship. I’m sorry, I thought that-- well, Jeno told me you two weren’t anything serious, so I thought that--”

“Jeno?” You look over his shoulder, and sure enough there’s Jeno, school jock, meeting your stare and giving you a quick “what up” nod before he hustles back to work

Jaemin sighs, making himself look busy by swiping down the counter. “Sorry, again. That was really rude of me, you can just ignore--”

“No!” you cut in.

He’s looking back up at you, a bit surprised, and you clear your throat. “I mean uh...he’s right. Jeno’s right. I’m not...seeing anyone right now. I mean, I’m not in a relationship or...anything like that. Seungmin and I are just really good friends. He’s like a brother, almost.”

Jaemin’s surprise quickly spreads into a smile that travels from ear to ear, and chuckles mostly to himself, giving himself a nod as well. “Okay. Sounds great. Maybe I really will be hearing from you then.”

Hnnnnn your insides are turning to goo, and you nod a little too ecstatically, having to contain the excited squeal threatening to erupt from the butterflies in your stomach as you hurry back over to Seungmin’s side

He’s right where you left him, and he looks…

He looks like a kicked puppy

There’s no way he could have heard what just happened

But you knew he saw the whole thing

...That didn’t matter though, right?

Cause it’s not like you guys are dating

He doesn’t even like you like that

Just friends

Just friends, (y/n)

So it’s fine

You don’t even care if he sees the phone number napkin

Which he’s looking at right now; actually glaring intensely would be a better word

And now he’s

Oh

He’s reaching inside the bag

He’s taking it out

He’s glaring at it

He’s debating something

He doesn’t look very happy

Brave (Y/n) tries to reach for the phone number

Her attack missed

Minnie’s power level is too strong

It’s over 9,000

Now he’s walking away and…

You gulp as he waits to get Jaemin’s attention

exchanging some words with him

Oh dear stars

What are they saying?

What’s going on?

You’re not sure why, but your legs won’t move

There’s some kind of...barrier...there’s this aura emitting off of Seungmin. It’s the same as earlier when he first caught you smiling at Jaemin. 

But now it’s stronger, more powerful. Clearly you aren’t the only one who feels it either, because the customers and employees around him are taking a few steps back and sending curious glances as well...when he comes back, he’s empty handed. And he looks…

Calmly pleased with himself. “Sorry about that, (y/n). He won’t be bothering you anymore.”

You frown. “He wasn’t bothering me, Minnie. In fact--”

You don’t get to finish that thought, because he’s ushering you off like a shepherd herding a lost sheep away from a pack of wolves...

Except you’re starting to suspect that he may be a wolf in sheep’s...well, shepherd's clothing

You sit down to eat, and it’s like nothing happened. Minus the twitch in his face every time you so much as look toward the Cinnabon shop.

~~~

The next day you’re sitting in your chosen science course, Environmental Systems. It was either that or Quantum Physics...and let’s face it, you hate math, so ES won ten to none

You’re sitting at your lab table totally zoning out...you can’t stop thinking about Minnie’s behavior the other day. What the heck had gotten into him? Why was he acting so strangely? So rudely?

He’d gotten better after he started hanging out with you. He’d stop skipping classes, started taking his classwork seriously

It turns out Minnie is actually really smart; like, really smart. His IQ has gotta be in the 150 range. It was just a matter of applying himself and actually giving a hoot; and for some reason, he’d listen to you. Most of the time, anyway.

 So you’re sitting there all slumped over in your stool, elbows on the table with your head propped up in both hands. Your eyes are locked in an internal battle with the clock on the far wall; each second that ticks by is a second lost, a second wasted, a second longer that you STILL can’t figure out what’s wrong with--

...Say, why is this bothering you so much anyway?

You two ain’t dating

You’re just friends

But you still care about him and are worried for him...as a close friend, right? That’s normal, isn’t it? You’re like a fretting sister worried about her brother’s strange behavior

Yeah yeah that’s all it is

Also what was up with that aura coming off of him?

You’re pretty sure even the Fire Nation would have turned and run with their tails between their legs

Wonder what it was he said to Jaemin…

...Aw man

Jaemin

So much for that romance waiting to be written (“=3=)

You feel a hand on your shoulder

“Ahh!” 

You whirl around to see Seu--

…

Lucas?

He gives you a tender smile, slinging his backpack to the floor beside the table. “Hey. You okay?”

“Oh…” You sigh, shaking your head to clear it. “Yeah. Yeah I’m...fine.” ...Not fine, but it’s okay.

New character introduction! → This is your lab partner, Lucas. He’s sat beside you all year, but you normally don’t speak much beyond idle chitchat and classwork. 

But today is different

Because today is the day he’s finally getting up the courage to…

...No, not confess his undying love for you. He just wants to talk more. He’s seen you around with Seungmin a lot; in fact the two of them share a class together, and let’s just say you’re not the only one who’s noticed some odd behavior. Lucas is a caring guy, and he’s worried about you… He thinks you’re a good person. And to him, good people are precious treasures that must be protected!! (/oAo)/

He takes a seat in his stool beside you, the one next to the window, and looks at you with concern in his eyes. “So, listen...I know we don’t talk a lot, but…is it okay if I ask you something?”

“? Sure, go ahead.”

“You and Kim...what’s your relationship like?”

You frown. “We don’t have a relationship. I mean, I’m not romantically involved with him...we met in middle school. We’ve been friends ever since.”

“...Are you sure about that?”

...what?

“What do you mean?”

“Well...not to sound out of line or anything, but I’m a bit surprised...well, I have a hard time believing...erm, seeing a person like you hanging out with a person like him. And it’s not just me, either. Anyone who knows either of you feels the same way.”

(• ε •) ? Why tho

You’re looking to him for the answer, but he doesn’t give you one. Instead he’s changing the subject.

“...Not to be nosy, but Jaemin told me what happened the other day. Uh…” He rubs the back of his neck, glaring down at the table. “He wanted me to apologize to you again, in his place. But you really should have told him if you were--”

“I’m not in a relationship with him!”

You’d slammed your hands on the table, jumping out of your seat. The rest of your classmates all silence their chatter or last minute scribbling of unfinished homework assignments, staring at the far left corner of the room where your table is.

Oops

You uh

You hadn’t meant to do that

Muttering an apology you sink back down into your seat, head bowed to allow your hair to hide your face like a curtain. Showtime’s over, folks. No encores, please.

Lucas hesitates, but after a moment he places a hand against your back. Something wet rolls down your cheeks...sheesh, when did you become such a crybaby? Are you seriously crying about this right now? But why…?

 You hear him swallow, and next thing you know he’s asking you for your side of the story, and you tell him everything. About Seungmin flipping like a light switch. About his scary aura you’d never noticed before. That you had no idea he was gonna react like that.

“I see…” Lucas is quiet for a moment. Then he holds out his hand to you. “Give me your phone for a sec.”

??? Okay…

You give him your phone, and he smiles a bit at the phone charms of things you stan clinking together as it’s being passed over to him. He grabs your wrist for a second (lightly) to unlock it, making you chuckle, then he’s opening the contacts app. He slides it back over not but a few moments later with the friendliest smile he’s ever given you; a smile letting you know that everything’s going to be alright.

“Text me anytime. I gave you Jaemin’s number as well. You should call him. I know he seems kind of like...a womanizer, but he’s really not. That’s just a dumb rumor going around from the popular crowd ‘cause he turned one of the cheerleaders down. He’s really a nice guy, and he talks about you a lot.”

……

QAQ <3

LUCAS I COULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW

OmgoshomgoshomgOSH \(^.^)/ 

GO LUCAS YEEHAW

You do hug him at least

You can’t help yourself

You feel like a weight has been lifted

Like you can breathe a little easier

Lucas just laughs half awkwardly, half genuine, and pats your back before the teacher walks in and makes a comment about PDA, and you both roll your eyes and take your seats

You spend the whole class chatting and catching up like two good friends that hadn’t seen each other in a long time, really hitting it off even though you’ve been lab partners the whole semester 

Your teacher doesn’t mind as long as you get your work done; today is a relaxed, catch up on late assignments kind of day

You’re so engrossed in a debate about which flavor of ice cream is superior that you scarcely hear the bell ring; you notice it but it leaves your mind after five seconds because this hoe over here is trying to convince you that vanilla is better than chocolate

CHOCOLATE IS SUPERIOR OKAY?!? (Author Note: if you feel otherwise, just pretend the roles are switched✌️)

 You’re going into heavy detail about how your flavor is just melts-in-your-mouth kind of good, being a river of pure joy when you notice Lucas staring towards the door with a troubled look on his face...is he trying to tell you he needs to go?

Probably. Well shoot, is it pretty rude to keep someone from getting where they need to go…

You’re about to apologize and turn to get your things and uh

Seungmin is there

At the door

Just watching you two

He’s wearing the same resting b*tch face he wore during the Jaemin fiasco

Uh-oh.

He doesn’t approach you like you fear he will, though. He simply waits patiently, one eye on you, the other on Lucas.

The moment you get your things together you bow your head to Lucas, being overly respectful in a state of minor panic before scurrying for the door. Seungmin flips his attitude again to be all smiles and sunshine, taking your hand a bit too forcefully and sending a look over his shoulder before hauling you off. 

“What was that all about?”

He may be smiling, but his tone is the complete opposite, making you frown

He’s not gonna freak out again like yesterday, is he??

Uh uh uh

Wait you don’t have anything to hide

You have the right to have friends

You know what

YOU KNOW WHAT

You’re about to tell this guy

This whole thing is dumb, you’re probably making it out to be way worse than it actually is

It’s surely nothing

Guys are just weird and testy

...But when you open your mouth to let him know how you feel

Aka the truth

Nothing comes out

Not a dang thing

You close your mouth; open, close, open

N o t h i n g

Then something finally does come:

“Lucas is my lab partner. We were just talking about--”

He cuts you off, squeezing your hand a little tighter. Ow. “No, not that. I meant before class.”

Be--

Before class?!

“I saw you handing your phone to him. What happened?”

Uh

Sis what

He saw that? He was there?!

WHERE?!?

He always walks you to and from class, but you were sure you saw him leave after he dropped you off! He...He had to be hiding somewhere…

Normally you’d think it was a bit cute because “oh he’s just a helicopter brother” or laugh ‘cause he’d be trying to pull a prank on you but

Given what happened yesterday

It freaks you out.

He’s squeezing your hand tighter. It’s really starting to hurt.

“Um...it was nothing! It was part of a warmup assignment!”

“Warm-up assignment?”

“Yeah! We were comparing the current temperatures around the world, and his phone wasn’t working, so I let him borrow mine!”

The lie comes tumbling out of your mouth like a rolling stone

You can’t very well give him the truth

Not if he can’t handle the truth

Plus you need time to sort out what’s really going on with him

But does he buy it?

Well let’s see

He stops and looks you in the eyes

His gaze is cutting through you again

Just like it did when you met him some four or five years ago

It’s more than a little unsettling, but you refuse to crack

Please buy it please but it please buy it…

He sighs and studies you, more gently this time, before pressing his lips together and giving a few small nods. “Okay. I guess that’s okay.”

He uh

He what now?

He guesses that’s okay…?

……

“...Listen, Seungmin. I think we need to talk later.”

“I do too. I have something for you.”

He um

He has something...for you?

Another present?

“What is it?”

His grin is almost too excited. Yet it also seems so pure and innocent. His eyes are smoldering… At least that’s how your brain interprets it, but surely he’s just trying to scare you as is his hobby 24/7. “But you’ll have to wait ‘til tomorrow to open it.”

~~~

Tomorrow comes sooner than you know it

It’s Valentine’s Day

Flowers and chocolate and greeting cards are all over the place

Ribbons and lace and delicious cakes

Hey that kinda rhymed B)) You’re the new Shakespeare

Okay anyway

You’re at your locker; for once Seungmin isn’t around between periods, he’s being held up with a board meeting

Oh yeah, that’s right...forgot to mention, he’s on the Student Council

Told you he was smart tho

But that also made him a lot more...worrisome, given his recent outburst and weird personality flips

The Student Council had a lot of influence at your school

They practically ran the whole circus here

For example, you knew it wasn’t a coincidence that you no longer shared Statistics class with Jeno, Jaemin’s buddy.

… sigh

This whole thing was just one giant me--

UM

What is all this?? (o.o)

You open your locker, right

And well

There’s a huge mess of roses

And chocolates

And greeting cards

And ribbons and lace and delicious cakes; word 😎

You have to grab a few bouquets and boxes before they spill all over the floor

How is it that...since when did you have so many admirers?

No offense to you or anything

You were a very nice girl

Cute, smart, sophisticated, good sense of humor

But you were also rather quiet and shy

Mostly because Seungmin took up all your free time

He kept it that way

Once you survive shoving everything back into the locker in a way that won’t result in them burying you alive, you open one of the greeting cards while a janitor and a few students give you looks at the mess of petals all over the floor

(𝑌/𝑛),  𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒'𝑠 𝐷𝑎𝑦! (\(^-^)/) 𝑊𝘩𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑚𝑦 𝘩𝑢𝑔? 𝐽𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑚𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑘 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑦 𝑣𝑖𝑟𝑢𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 ;𝑃 -- 𝑆𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑚𝑖𝑛

You open another:

𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑑, 𝑉𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑢𝑒, 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑡𝑢𝑙𝑖𝑝𝑠 𝐹𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑'𝑠 𝑒𝑦𝑒 𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤

??? Okay then…

You’re noticing that all the cards and boxes are labeled “Seungmin” or “Minnie” or “you know who” as you’re shuffling through the garden that has become of your locker

You find the tulips near the back next to some daffodils and classic red roses, having to use half your strength just to wrestle them out

Oi vey

You peer inside from “a bird’s eye view”

…

But you don’t see anything

Wait a second yes you do

There’s something dark and boxy buried inside the bouquet

You dig inside...fish it out

It’s a lovely black box, long and rectangular, with a beautifully elegant ice-blue ribbon tied around it

Wow this thing looks pretty pricey...how much did he spend on you exactly?

Seungmin had always been a little extra when it came to you but this year was overkill big time

There’s a note sticking to the back of the box; it says: 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑚𝑒

Wow he may as well just attached all the notes he gave you into a novel

But okay you read it

You like reading anyway

𝑂𝑝𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑐𝘩𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑝.𝑠. - 𝐼'𝑙𝑙 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑖𝑒�� <𝟥

...Huh??

You examine the flowers before you…

Your eyes instantly land on the one in the center, which looks slightly different from the others

Because it’s fake...

~~~

Minnie helps you carry your things home after school. He handles your bags and chocolates and most of the flowers, but he insists that you carry the tulips

Why not roses? →  Tulips were your favorite flower

But even if they hadn’t been, he’d bought you one of every kind of flower on the freaking planet anyway, as well as every good chocolate combination in existence

He’d even gotten you that cute plushie you’d been eyeing in the window of a toy shop in the mall

“Did you like everything?”

“Yeah...it’s great. You didn’t have to, though.”

His face gets a little...resting b*tch again. “Nonsense. I wanted to. You deserve it.”

M’kay…

“...Thanks, Minnie.”

“I mean it. You deserve this and more.”

“No, no. This is plenty. Wayyy more than enough.”

You laugh at first, but the moment you notice Seungmin’s not laughing, you stop.

There’s an uncomfortable silence in the air for the rest of the walk, that is until you reach your house.

“Listen, (y/n)--”

“Welp thanks for everything today!!”

You rush inside, dumping the load in your arms by the front door. When you run back outside to get the rest of what Seungmin is carrying, he tries speaking to you again.

“(Y/n)--”

“Geez it’s awfully cold out! Winter sure is a bummer huh? But I do love curling up inside and um...oh wow I’ve got a lot of homework to do--”

“(Y/n)!!”

You wince at the harsh tone in his voice; if you were an animal you’d have your ears flat against your head right now. “...Y-Yeah?”

Something...uh...uh-oh

His cheeks are turning the color of the roses in his arms.

This can’t be good

But when his lips part to say what he needs to say, nothing comes out

Cause here comes Lucas riding his bike down the street

And there’s a red rose gripped against the handle

Oh dear stars what fresh hell is this

You’re lost for words

Maybe he’d just passing by on his way to give some other girl a--

Nope he’s putting on the break in front of your house

He’s wheeling his bike over to you

Seungmin’s going into resting b*tch mode again

Why does karma hate you??

“(Y/n),” Lucas chuckles. “Don’t get too excited or anything. This isn’t from me. Jaemin asked me to give it to you. He’s been swamped by girls all day and hasn’t had a moment to himself to come find you. He’s got practice after school so...well I owe him a favor after losing a bet last week, so here I am. Haha...ha.”

Oh man, karma really does hate you

You look over to Seungmin, slowly, careful that any sudden movements will set him off (if Lucas’s words haven’t)

…

……

Wow he’s actually pretty calm right now

Hey maybe he’s okay

Wait no he’s not

He’s crushing those roses and chocolates in his arms pretty tightly

He looks really stiff and rigid

You’re surprised there isn’t a vein throbbing out of his forehead right now

And that scary aura is leaking back into the air again…

“Uh, th-thanks Lucas…” You can’t stop stuttering as you reach for the flower

You take it and after exchanging a few lame jokes and chatter, he waves and gives Seungmin a Bro Nod before riding off

...I mean

That could have gone way worse

You honestly thought Seungmin was going to try and stop you

Or say something

And truth be told the author did plan that

BUT

Then she got another idea okay back to you (y/n)

Gee thanks >->

Okay now

You’re watching Lucas ride off into the sunset (not romantically or anything, just seeing him off and secretly cursing him for choosing such a poor time to pull a stunt like that) when Seungmin blocks you view and is standing...really close to you. 

Why is he so close?

He’s...looking down at you intently. Watching you closely.

Huh who what

Why

This is weird

He just keeps getting weirder and weirder

Making less and less sense

And then he says:

“(Y/n)...listen for a second. Please?”

Um okay

Kinda scared to but sure

“Okay…”

“About what happened yesterday...I’m sorry.”

Oh! He’s apologizing!

He’s not crazy after all (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥

I’m fine you’re fine everybody’s fine

You smile in relief, feeling your muscles relax and all the tension leave the air. You’re seeing the old Minnie you became friends with in those sparkling eyes, that kind lopsided goofy smile, those soft lips, that...that uh…

……

Soft lips?

Sis I

*internally shaking your head*

Girl you gotta get your butt inside RN

You quickly tell Minnie that it’s alright and sweep the whole thing under the rug, giving him a FRIENDLY kiss on the cheek that he may or may not have taken the wrong way

And you get your crushed flowers and broken chocolates and scramble up the sidewalk leading to your doorstep.

…

You fail to notice how long Seungmin is glaring after you with the purest, yet most lecherous, smile on his face

~~~

The moment you yeet yer ass back into the house

It’s like a reminder notification goes off in your head

And you remember about the tulips

Luckily your parents are out having a romantic dinner at some four-star restaurant, so you gather up all the stuff Seungmin had bought you and make three or four trips getting everything securely into the closet of your room

Plushie goes on the bed

You put the tulips in a vase, pondering curiously at what to make of the whole “last flower dying” business

But that can also wait

Because you have a gift to unwrap

You crack open a box of broken chocolates first (hey they’re still good even if they are a little messy and no longer visibly attractive), then you set the box down before you on your desk and just...stare at it for a minute

Admiring how pretty and fancy it is

It’s after school now, sooo…

You tear into that bad boy ヽ(⌐■◡■)ノ♪♬

…

……

………

It’s

It’s a

   ᴵᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵏᶰᶤᶠᵉ

Seungmin

He

He got you a--

Holy cow uh

Holy shiz

What

What are you supposed to make of this?? 

……………………

There’s another note inside the box, beneath where the knife was

You carefully set down the weapon, you don’t know if it’s a switchblade or what and the last thing you need is this thing popping out at you

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑

……………………………………..

*takes a breath*

Okayyyyyyyy

You take it back

There’s a sinking feeling in your gut right now

You have an idea of what this could mean

But you don’t want to

…

You peek outside your window

No one is there

You stick your head out into the hallway; no one’s home either

Normally you’d hope Mom and Dad would bring you home some leftovers

But tonight you’ve lost your appetite

You don’t even know why you’re stuffing your face with chocolate right now

Stress eating you guess…

…...

You close your door again with a small shiver, reaching down to examine the knife he gave you

Once you manage to get it open anyway

You let out a little yelp the first time, but after practicing a few times it becomes easier and less scary, your confidence in not cutting yourself or losing an eye growing

You turn the blade in the sunlight

It was really freaking pretty

Like 

Really really pretty

It’s shiny af

So so shiny

And let’s face it you love shiny things

You were probably a seagull in a past life with how attracted you were to sparkly objects 

S o s p a r k l y ✨💕

The colors blended so beautifully too, one spectrum flawlessly cascading into the other, then the next

The whole thing was very elegant and feminine

But also cool and kind of retro-looking

A rainbow-stained blade with a black chrome handle

It had a little pocket clip on one side, in case you wanna clip it to your jeans or attach it to something

The design on the handle is pretty

It honestly looks like a butterfly knife, but it’s not

Just a basic spring-assist

You only know this because Minnie catches you examining it again the next day and tells you 

Why did you bring a knife to school, you ask?

Well…

What if your mom decided to do cleaning? Was your whole thought process; she always gets a little nosy after Valentine’s Day and likes to tease you about all the stuff Seungmin usually busy

Wait til she gets a load of Butterfly Gardens in the closet

You’re looking over at Seungmin now, who’s all peaches and cream, looking cute as a button for someone who just gave you a deadly weapon the other day

He looks really excited and pleased with himself 

And then he asks you

“Are you gonna keep it?”

...

Well let’s see

You’re pretty sure if you bring a knife home

As in, your parents see you walking through the front door and actually find out about it

Even if you are just about a legal adult now

Your mom is gonna freak

Your dad won’t be having any part of it either

“yOU’ll shOOt yOUr EyE OUt!1!1!”

“Mom it’s not a gun and this isn’t A Christmas Story!!”

“You’LL STaB YouR eYe ouT1!1!”

Ugh yeah it’d be a no go sis

Plus with that poem he wrote you…

And everything else…

Even if you are friends and all…

Or whatever the heck your connection to him was

It’s all too much

You’re about to respectfully and politely decline when you look at Seungmin’s face and

...

He’s staring at you

Hard

Really hard

Like he looks a little pissed

It’s almost like he read your whole thought process just now

Like he knows you’re about to say no and hand it back to him

Holy shiz

Uh okay bro chill out haha...ha

“Well?”

Dang he don’t sound very pleased either 

Uh uh uh

You smile to cover up the weird feeling in your gut, gripping the blade close to your chest (closed, ofc): “It’s great! So pretty! I love it!”

...That’s not a total lie, anyway.

It is really pretty

And you do like it

Even if it does creep you out a little a lot

But you getting grounded and swamped by Angry Mom™?

Not so great no

Seungmin is suddenly all smiles again, back to his usual goofy/cheerful self. “That’s great, I knew you’d like it. It suits you perfectly. It’s colorful and charming...just like you.”

He swipes a stray hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear tenderly. The whole action is oozing with love and affection...but you’re not sure if it’s the good kind. It’s light on the outside, but it’s got some weight to it. It’s got a...it’s just...

The final bell rings, signaling that All Students Must Yeet Themselves Off The Premises Because Teachers Wanna Go Home Too

Seungmin places a hand against the small of your back, leading you off campus

Once you turn the corner off official school grounds that hand snakes it’s way around your waist, resting on your hip

U m

You’re uh

You’re honestly too scared to say anything

A chill runs up your spine that doesn’t disappear until after he’s dropped you off at home

The next day goes by in a flash, mostly because for the first time ever you stayed up horribly late way past your usual bedtime to stare at what Seungmin had given you, other than a recent case of the heebie-jeebies (> ︿ <”) 

You’d managed to keep the blade hidden from your parents; the moment Minnie dropped you off you’d rushed inside before he could invite himself over (since you could tell it was heading that way and uh...well he was starting to get a bit more handsy) and stormed straight up the stairs to your room, shutting the door and stashing the deadly weapon in a drawer

Seriously, what the heck was going on?! Why was he acting like this? >:((

...

It was on your mind the rest of the evening, while you were doing homework, when you were having dinner

Not even a few episodes of Sailor Moon or your favorite sitcoms were helping

Not even Studio Ghibli

Your mind was present for all of five seconds of Arrietty before you came back to reality and the credits were rolling

Preferably that one part where the dad goes, “sometimes it’s best not to go looking for danger...”

S i g h

Tell me about it, Papa Borrower

You’re trying but it’s like danger won’t stop looking for you

Danger by the name of Kim Seungmin...

...

Was he really dangerous, though?

Kim Seungmin? Dangerous?

He was such a sweet boy

A former delinquent, yes, but the worst he’d done was skip class to do...whatever it was he did. He’d never hurt a fly— at least, not that you knew of

He’s was a Chaotic Shy boy with a kind face that loved photography and flowers and being a sarcastic ass half the time

So what if he had a thing for knives?

It’s normal for teenage boys to be into all that stuff

And maybe he didn’t even have a thing at all

He probably just wanted to catch you off guard to fool you

He wanted to freak you out on purpose

It was all a joke

Yeah!

That’s it!

A dumb prank

Finally you could get some shut eye…

“Would you like to answer this one, (y/n)?”

Your head snaps up, and a few giggles circle round the classroom. Your face flushes in slight embarrassment. 

“Um...yes Mrs. Hwang, of course”

Okay you’ll get some shut eye as soon as school is over

You got the answer wrong, btw

Stupid Seungmin 😞😒 you’d let him have it for giving you a scare like that later

That poem was a nice touch too, the bastard

And as soon as later rolls around, you’re ready to pass it over, boys

Here comes the thunder

It’s your free period, and while you thought about taking a nap and telling a friend to wake you a few minutes before Environmental Systems (that friend being Lucas), you were too upset to sleep

You had to give this jerk a what for 

A good slap upside the head outta do the trick

Yeah!!

He should be in Woodshop right now, if your sleep deprived brain was remembering correctly

Get ready you jerk 😤 cause here comes the—

...

Your froze in the doorway

Wanna know why?

It’s because your eyes instantly find Seungmin

But the moment they do they can’t help but travel downwards to the project he’s working on in his hands

It’s a statue of you

Like okay hear me out

You ain’t tryna be vain or nothin

Because while the carving is really beautiful and all

It’s totally you

There’s no mistaking it

It’s really freaking detailed

And you see yourself in the mirror at least twice a day

So you should be able to recognize yourself when you see her

And bish that is most certainly, without a doubt, a wood carving of you

......

What are you supposed to do now?

What were you doing here again??

Um uh uh

Sh*t bro

This ain’t good

Normally one would be flattered, right?

But you don’t know

You don’t know what to think

You haven’t known what to think since the incident involving Jaemin

You really aren’t sure how you feel about this sudden new development 

You’re just standing there two steps into the room with a fist raised when the boy next to him, your friend Felix (but mainly his), looks over his shoulder and smiles to you, not even questioning why you’re frozen like that. 

“Hey, (y/n)! How’s it going?”

Crap.

Seungmin immediately looks up, and his whole demeanor goes from zero to sixty, calm and focused to chaotic and delighted

If only you could say the same about yourself

“(Y/n)...I wasn’t expecting you to come find me.” He smiles. He does that a lot so long as there isn’t another guy around. (Felix and Changbin not included). “Is everything okay?”

“Um…” Say it, (y/n). Say it! 

You put on a brave face, trying to look as stern as possible. But that idol of you staring you down from across the room is weakening your stature like kryptonite. “Actually...no, it’s not. It’s really not. I need to talk to you--”

“Then let’s go someplace quiet.”

Wait

Right now?

Apparently so

He’s pulling you out into the hall, yelling at Felix to “cover for him.”

The last thing you see is the freckled boy giving him a thumbs up before you’re dragged off to the Student Council office

It’s empty and dark when you get there; the door is locked

Seungmin must have known it would be

He pulls out a key and unlocks the door, sliding it open and sweeping you inside.

He closes the door but

He doesn’t turn the lights on

So you reach and try to feel your way along the walls for the switch, but your fingers find his instead

Causing him to intertwine them with his

He pulls you right up against him…

And he kisses you

Softly

It’s very gentle, very tender

And you find yourself melting into it, even though just a second ago you were ready to klonk his brains out

But then…

Then he shoves you into a wall

No, he’s not passionately throwing you up against it

He’s slamming you into it

Hard

It honestly knocks the wind out of you for a second

And the first thing you see now that your sight has adjusted are his eyes; they’re boiling, dark, violent

He’s definitely not a happy camper

His grip on you is tight; like he’s trying to make you pop or something

It hurts bro

It really, really hurts

You suck in a sharp breath of air, but he silences you by getting the first word in

“Why the hell are you so difficult?”

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUh

You, difficult?! He’s one to talk!

“Wh-What are you--”

“Shut up! I’m not finished talking yet!”

He’s totally cutting off your blood circulation

You feel your arms starting to go numb, then your hands. He continues yelling at you in hushed tones.

“Why did you let me kiss you just now? Why did you kiss me back? Why are you...and them…”

...Them?

Is he talking about...Jaemin? And Lucas? And all the other guys you’ve so much as smiled to?

“...I can’t do this anymore, (y/n)...not if you’re not going to listen to me or do as I say. It’s driving me crazy. Don’t you get it? Don’t you f***ing see how I feel about you? Have you really been so dense this whole f***ing time?!?”

You

You don’t know what to say

But that’s okay because he’s not finished yet anyway

“The other day...on Valentine’s Day...when you told me...you said it was too much…...even if you were just joking…”

He loosens his grip on you for all but two seconds before squeezing you again tenfold

You no longer have it in you to meme the situation or find any part of anything remotely ironic or lighthearted

You let out a whimper of pain and he shoots a hand over your mouth to stifle it...then he’s cupping your face with both hands, using his thumbs to brush away the tears

You’d run

But you’re too scared to move again

Seungmin is much stronger than you

Taller

Faster

And now that you think about it

You’re pretty sure you heard him lock the door while you were fumbling around for the light switch

“......”

“......”

You hiccup and bite your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying so he’ll give you the space you need right now

This isn’t driving you crazy anymore

It’s scaring you

He’s scaring you

You want the old Seungmin back

The one that wasn’t bipolar and insane

Cause it was all starting to come to you now

The dots were finally connecting

How could you be so blind…?

…

Blind…

Blind.

The poem

What did it say again?

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑

……

You just got an eerie feeling in your chest

Seungmin is still looking at you like a puzzle he can’t seem to piece together. You’re sure you’re looking at him the same way.

“(Y/n). I need to know...tell me, do you…” You can feel his cheeks getting hot inches away from your own. “...Do you feel the same way?”

Crazy? No.

Scared? Upset? Yes.

“...I……” You end on a little sigh, a hesitant puff of air. You can’t get your voice box to work properly.

Unfortunately for you, Seungmin takes this the wrong way; slamming you back into the wall again, he reaches into his pocket, cursing while punching in a number you can’t see. Probably because you’re sinking down the wall with fresh tears in your eyes. You seriously want to go back five years ago and reverse such a terrible mistake...or at least be at home.

You think he’s calling someone, but for some reason he only holds the phone to his ear for all of five seconds before hanging up and putting it away. Guess whoever he was trying to reach wasn’t around.

“......”

And then you see something slowly cross over his face. Like watching a sunrise of realization. Like waking up from a horrible dream, a bad nightmare. 

And then you see that he’s crying.

The tears are silent and steady

And he angles his body quickly to gape at you with a look of pure horror on his face. 

“(Y-Y/n)...”

He drops down to his knees, reaching for you again

But you squeal in panic and flinch away, and he retracts his hands, gripping them close and hanging his head in shame. He’s shaking all over...staring at his hands in disbelief

“......I...I’m so sorry, I...I just...wanted to protect you, (y/n).”

“......”

“Th-Those guys you hang out with. They aren’t good for you. I wanted you to see that...”

“......”

“I’m the only one, (y/n). I’m the only one that understands you. But when you toy with my heart like this--”

“Toy with your heart?!”

You found your voice again. And she ain’t happy.

“...” he swallows, tilting his face up to look you in the eye. Still crying, softly. “...Yes. I--”

“I’ve never toyed with your heart once in my life! I can’t get a word in because you scare the heck out of me! Ever since I met Jaemin at the mall and started talking to Lucas you’ve been acting totally crazy! It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore…!”

………

And then it’s silent for quite some time

“......” he swallows again, turning his head away and muttering curse after curse to himself while he heads to door.

He locks it behind him.

~~~

Well you found the light switch, but turns out it doesn’t work for some dumbass reason

You’re sure you’re doomed

Your phone is in your bag with the rest of your belongings

You’re confused

And sore

You don’t know what to think anymore, for real this time

You could try calling for help? But…

The Student Council hall is located in a more isolated part of the school that rarely anyone uses

Then Seungmin comes back

And he’s got a first aid kit with him

As well as that kicked puppy expression on his face

Nothing really happens, thankfully

He just patches you up (even though you don’t really need it, since it’s just a few bruises and minor scratch marks)

……

And he leaves you alone

School is long over, so you grab your things from where you left them in your cubby--

…

Wait where’s your stuff

Your bag is gone

Your phone was in there

All your textbooks and homework

Gone

...This day just keeps getting better and better doesn’t it?

Then you turn around

And Lucas is standing there

He’s looking pretty worried with his bag slung over his shoulder, yours in the opposite hand

“Where were you today? You just up and vanished all of a sudden. It’s not like you to skip out on class like that.”

“......”

“Some girls in your class told me you didn’t show up for Statistics either.”

“......”

“Or English.”

“......”

“...” Lucas sighs...then his eyes travel down to your arms, catching on a bit too late, and he gapes at you. “...What happened…?”

“......” You can’t help it. Maybe it was the traumatic experience you just had. Maybe you were about to start your time of the month. But (y/n).exe shut down and fell apart.

Lucas drops everything as you run to him, and he stands there and holds you while you sob into his chest, just letting everything spill out: tears, secrets, all of it.

“(y/n)...”

You gasp for another breath, looking up at him. 

“...” His face is twisted with pain, letting you know you’re not gonna like what he’s about to say. “...I think you should stop hanging around him. In fact, I think you need to get a restraining order. I’m not kidding. You don’t know this, but...the way he acts when you’re not around...it’s very different than when he’s with you. He’s very hostile and closed off. He rarely speaks a word to anyone unless he absolutely has to. He’s civil at first, but he gets short pretty easily...he gets hot under the collar the moment anyone, especially a guy, so much as mentions your name...and then today, with you…” He squares his shoulders, standing straight and tall as he’s looking down at you. “Why don’t I walk you to my house? You’re parents went out of town today, didn’t they? I don’t think it’s safe for you to be alone if he knows where you live…”

…

It was true

You’d practically forgotten

Your parents would be out of town for the evening on a short overnight business trip

……

You really don’t want to be alone right now, and you’ve never gotten a bad vibe from Lucas before. You’d grown closer to him since the two of you exchanged numbers as well, so…

You nod your head, and he gives you a kind, sympathetic smile as he leads you away with an arm wrapped carefully and lightly around your shoulders.

~~~

The moment you get to Lucas’s house

You call your mom to let her know you won’t be home

In case she tries calling the house phone and you don’t answer

You can’t tell her you’re staying at a boy’s house that she’s never officially met before, because even if you do trust him she won’t go for it; and because you don’t want to tell her about the Seungmin fiasco either, you mean to tell her you’re staying at a galpals place

But unfortunately for you you don’t have any you can recall off the bat, and because Seungmin is still on your mind his name is the first one that rolls out of your mouth

And you have to go with it

Your mom is a little unsure at first, buuuuut...well okay, Seungmin is a nice boy, he’s over all the time and you’ve known him forever. Just be careful and don’t stay up too late!

Honestly you thought she’d yell at you even if it was Seungmin, so you’re a bit surprised but 

Oh well

At least she won’t call or worry now

You ask if you can at least stop by your house to get a change of clothes and your toothbrush, but Lucas doesn’t think it’s a good idea; instead he buys you a new one from the convenience store and let’s you wear his clothes

The t-shirt nearly swallows you and you have to tighten the drawstring pants all the way to keep them up but

It works out okay ^_^

You’re still a little shaken up over everything, but Lucas is a really good friend; he makes up a space on the floor just for you (he insisted a million times you take his bed; he’d changed the sheets and everything) but you didn’t wanna put him out since it was all such short notice, and he finally caves but makes a tent for you that’s as comfortable as possible

The two of you actually have a lot of fun making a pillow fort.

He orders delivery and the two of you curl up in the tent together watching some old Disney movies on a small box TV he hauls out of his closet

Wow this dude is vintage af with his VHS tapes

But it’s nice

The two of you sipping noodles and laughing at Toy Story and Finding Nemo

You started drifting off halfway through Emperor’s New Groove when he decided it was time for lights out and cleaned up everything

He tucked you in and made sure you were nice and comfortable before closing the tent and turning out the lights

Big Brother of the Year award goes to: Lucas Wong. *applause*

But, well…

M e a n w h i l e

At a certain Dandy Boy™ house

Something was rotten in the state of…[enter town name here]

It started with a phone call he’d just gotten from a little someone called (Y/n)’s Mom

Or as he referred to her, Mrs. (L/n).

“Mrs. (L/n)?”

“Hey, Minnie! I was just calling to check on (y/n) and remind her to bring the mail in before she gets too comfortable. She’s not answering her phone and well...you know how scatterbrained my daughter can be sometimes. I’m sure she’s just got it buried in her purse again or forgot to turn it off of Silent mode.”

“...I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Is (y/n) not home right now?”

“...Well no...is she not with you? She called about...oh, three hours ago? Said she was spending the night at your house.”

“......”

𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅.

[multiply014]

One Chilly Morning

Again, Happy CoAi Day, everyone!

I wrote this to cap off my 31 Days of CoAi project:

Last 4/1, ShinAi Day, I posted Accomplice (Chapter 2) to start off 31 Days of CoAi!

From 4/2 to 4/30, I posted fics daily on Tumblr. I’m still in the process of crossposting them on AO3 and FF (29 in between), Mondays and Fridays… If you want to read them, they’re on my Tumblr page, see tag “x prompt fills”.

Today, 5/1, I posted this, One Chilly Morning, which is the third and final part to One-verse (One Starry Night - One Rainy Afternoon - One Chilly Morning), to end 31 Days of CoAi!

Aside from fics, I’ve also posted:

On 4/1 and 5/1, I wrote two meta posts answering why I ship CoAi! If you want to read them, they’re on my Tumblr page, see tag “x meta”.

From 4/1 to 5/1, I posted about my ramblings about the CoAi fics I've written one by one daily! If you want to read them, they’re on my Tumblr page, see tag “x fic posts”.

I hope everyone had as much fun as I did throughout the project. I never thought I could pull it off, but, hey, I pulled through! The people who have expressed their support (and just when I need it most, too!) deserves credit for helping me complete this project… You know who you are! That’s you! 

Thank you so, so much..!

Now on to a bit of description about this work! One Chilly Morning is posted separately from One Rainy Afternoon because it can stand on its own. On AO3, I will be collecting the three works as a series, but you don’t really have to read One Starry Night and One Rainy Afternoon to get what’s up here. It’s just a bit of a plus if you did..!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this final post for 31 Days of CoAi!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

31 Days of CoAi Prompt Fill 31 of 31:

One Chilly Morning

Fandom (Pairing): DCMK (CoAi) Title: One Chilly Morning Summary (Word Count): Shinichi wakes up early one morning just in time to see The White Mazda(tm) parked outside Hakase’s house, and consequently has bad mood for most of the day. (1228) Links: Also on AO3 and FF. Part 1 and 2 is also on Tumblr (tag: x dcmk one rainy afternoon)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It’s a chilly morning. Shinichi doesn’t think he’s sick, but he gets up earlier than usual. To kill some time before he’s expected to be out and about, he goes to the study to get some books—because what do you do when you wake up early, really?

His mind isn’t up to speed in the early hours yet, and he can’t seem to settle on a book to reread. His restless eyes find themselves looking out the window. He tells himself he’s not peeking at Hakase’s house, but he is, and the first thing he sees is a white Mazda parked just outside the gate.

It’s Amuro’s car.

His thoughts are confirmed when the front door opens and out comes Amuro and Haibara, one after the other, Hakase seeing them off. In Amuro’s hand is a Fusae shoulder bag—of course, he’s acting like a perfect gentleman. Hakase waves enthusiastically, like a mom sending off her daughter for marriage, to that bag-carrying gentleman all shiny and cheery in the morning—and Shinichi doesn’t really want to think about that, and how he feels a vague sense of betrayal at the image.

The two disappear into the car, Shiho first because of course sparkly host in a gray suit that Shinichi thinks is not really flattering in the morning has to open the car door for the shotgun seat for Haibara—and she doesn’t bat an eye, no hesitation, zero. That makes Shinichi feel increasingly more betrayed to the point that he can’t even push it down with denial because clearly this is not the first time for Haibara and Mr. Blondie to go somewhere together. He hates that he doesn’t know where.

And so, as with all unimportant things regarding Haibara, he doesn’t even bother deducing anything. He just straight up asks her—three rings, four rings, and then five.

She’s not answering.

—For her to be unresponsive, what the hell are they doing in the car in broad daylight?!

Just after the sixth ring, it connects—”Kudo-kun?”

“Where are you?” It comes out snappier than he wants to, but, whatever, the woman’s—just—out there!

A few seconds of silence, and Shinichi can hear Haibara thinking, before she answers, “What do you need?”

To Shinichi’s complete surprise—not—Haibara doesn’t answer his question. So, he just repeats, “Where are you?”

In a beat, Haibara replies, a bit of panic in her voice, “..! Has something happened to Hakase?!”

This, Shinichi quickly denies, “Huh, no! Just, what are you doing?”

Shinichi hears an audible sigh before a tired voice says, “Then why are you so cranky? I’m outside. What do you need?”

Shinichi presses, “Outside, where?”

“Why are you always so weird? On my way to work, why? A case?”

Work, huh… huh? So does this mean since Haibara got the job, Amuro’s always been driving her there?!

Haibara’s voice brings him back from his thoughts, calling him, “Kudo-kun?”

Automatically, he answers, “What?”

“You...” He can hear the irritation in her voice.

Now, Shinichi is confused. What did he do to annoy her this time? “...What?”

“You’re really asking me what?! You’re the one who called out of nowhere, idiot!” She ends the call.

He calls again. It goes to voicemail and he has no doubt that she blocked him.

Haibara blocked his number. She actually blocked him!

This… infuriating… woman!

Whatever! It’s not like he cares!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He does, in fact, care.

He makes sure he’s presentable and all but runs to the professor’s house. When Shinichi spots Hakase, he starts practically grilling him with questions, the professor rattling off the answers as fast as he can before Shinichi can fire off the next—

“—Yes, Shinichi, they go to work together.”

“—Yes, Shinichi, it’s been a while, but I don’t remember when it started.”

“—No, Shinichi, I don’t know why; maybe she can tell you?”

“—Hahaha! Shinichi, what did you say for her to block you?”

“—What did you need her for, Shinichi? If it’s urgent, I can tell her.”

Shinichi sighs, and shakes his head, saying, “Nothing, it’s nothing.”

Hakase casts a doubtful look at him, but ultimately acquiesces, “If you say so, Shinichi...”

As he mooches off Hakase’s breakfast, he grumbles. Hakase casts numerous surreptitious glances at Shinichi, before his curiosity wins out, and he finally asks, “Why the interest then?”

Shinichi jumps at the question, and the lettuce leaf he had been torturing with his fork drops on the plate. He immediately shakes his head and denies, “Nothing! It’s just—I saw them today, I… I thought something was up. If there isn’t anything then, I don’t know, whatever, I guess???”

A beep rings out from Hakase’s phone, and, surprisingly, the professor reads the message out loud, “‘Hakase, please check if the dumbass is sick?’”

Without the professor saying the sender, Shinichi blushes and mumbles something about why she doesn’t just go and enjoy the car ride to work instead of worrying about someone she totally didn’t confess to.

Hakase’s knowing smile hidden by his hand, he tries to keep his voice even as he suggests, “Maybe I should just tell her you’re sick, Shinichi?”

Shinichi replies, “I’m fine, Hakase.”

“Well... you don’t know, maybe she’d come home early if we say you are.”

Shinichi replies, a bit louder this time, “I’m fine, Hakase!”

Sighing, then shaking his head, Hakase drops the issue, “Whatever you say, Shinichi...”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dinner time rolls around, and Shinichi’s phone lights up. When he sees that woman’s name on his phone’s notifications, he hesitates… but ultimately opens it. He reads the message: Come over for dinner.

Shinichi immediately sends a message… to Hakase: Hakase, what did you tell her?

A few excruciating minutes after that Shinichi totally did not notice go by, he receives a reply: Shinichi, I don’t know what you’re talking about?

Hmm. He might as well go in person to tell the professor—and, might as well, her, too—that he’s fine. It’s just next door, after all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On the table, okayu is served with the usual side dishes, and at the center is a pot of what smells like ginger tea.

Before anyone can say anything about the spread, Shiho clears her throat and says, “It’s been chilly recently.”

“Yeah,” is Shinichi’s intelligent reply.

(Hakase is grinning in the background, but neither notice.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

By the time Shinichi is back at the mansion, he still feels so unbearably warm that he wonders why he isn’t sweating… perhaps he’d caught the flu after all?

He does not think about that morning. He does not think about her message to Hakase. He does not think about her message to him.

He certainly does not think about the dinner.

He does not think about how he did not say he isn’t sick. He does not think even the slightest bit of why he didn’t call her out on her oh-so-obvious intentions, preparing those dishes for dinner. Intentions that he does not think about, too.

Of course, he does not think about how she /must/ have noticed that he did not call her out on it. Which had been unintentional. He simply forgot to point it out—the porridge is just that well-made after all. He’d insist on it being so had he been thinking about it. But he isn’t, so.

Yep, he does not think about all of those.

(He does.)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Sigh... I want to rewrite (again!) the entire first chapter, One Starry Night… And I want to beat up past me for ever thinking it was a good idea to promise to write another chapter of One-verse. (Literally no one asked for it. Please, past self, why are you so masochistic?)

And, wow, this is really, really the end of 31 Days of CoAi... What a run..!

Check out my 31 Days of CoAi series on AO3 for a better formatted information on my project!

[obviouslyelementary]

Disney

The Connor siblings belong to @thebunnyartist check them out! they are really cool!

This is just a little fanfic about my headcanon on how the boys would like their Disney movies hahaha. Disney is the best.

--------

Obviously that Hank would show Connor and his brothers the movies from Disney.

Everyone deserved to watch it, everyone should watch it, Disney was great. Specially the classics.

God, he remembered the times when he went to the cinema with his family to watch Tarzan. The little mermaid. Hercules. All classics now.

He was really old.

But in any case, he decided to gather all of them for a family weekend, telling Fowler they would only come back on Monday, and rented a few of his favorite Disney movies so he could watch with the boys.

He bought popcorn, snacks, soda, juice, blue blood and all of those things, all that they needed for a good family time together.

"Okay boys. Here is the deal" he told them as they came back from their respective works that Friday afternoon. "I called your bosses and told them that this weekend, you four are free to spend some time with me"

"Okay" the four of them answered together, each one in their own way, but still, their coordination creeped Hank out sometimes.

"So, I rented some movies I used to watch when I was a kid, like you-"

"We are not-"

"-And we are going to watch them" Hank said, firmly, and the four androids looked at the each other, with Connor and Colton smiling and Conan and Colin shrugging. "I bought snacks, drinks, and rented the movies, because I am nostalgic as fuck and I love animated movies"

"We are not going to watch... Shrek again right?" Connor asked, furrowing his eyebrows a bit out of what Hank could only guess was disgust, making the man raise his hand, pointing to him.

"Don't you dare do that expression when talking about the best movie ever made" he said firmly, and Connor immediately relaxed his facial muscles, looking down ashamed. "That's right. Shrek deserves respect. But no. It's not that. It's the real classics"

"Like Disney?" Colton asked, eyes wide and shining. Hank hummed, smiling at him. He really liked that kid.

"yes. Like Disney. Now go get comfortable, get off those uniforms and join your dad in the living room. We don't have all day long"

"We have an entire weekend" Conan said, and Hank waved him off.

"Go!"

 They began with what seemed to be Colton's favorites: the classic princesses. Snow White, Cinderella, The Sleeping Beauty, and then some other classics, like Bambi and Robin Hood.

He seemed to like those the best.

Somehow, Colton knew all the songs (only after a long time Hank realized they could just look up the lyrics in their big brains), and sang them out loud to his heart's content. He even pulled Connor for a dance eventually, singing as they swayed around the living room, almost destroying all furniture and stepping on Sumo.

Eventually, by the fourth movie, Colin poked Hank on the arm and nodded towards Conan, and all of them turned to the youngest android, only to find him deeply asleep.

(he would never admit it later, that the animations Hank was so found of made him go in sleep mode, but Hank couldn't care less. He was adorable when he slept, and that was a rare occurrence)

Then, they kept going. Hank decided to focus the next segment on animal movies, so they watched 101 dalmatians, The Fox and the Hound, Aristocats, Mogli, the Lady and the Tramp. Those movies seemed to call Colin's attention the most, his eyes fixated on every scene, his hand 'accidentally' holding onto hank's blanket when something tense was happening.

But they were all surprised when they heard a sob coming from the quietest android as Colin hid behind his hands when the old woman left the fox in the forest in Fox and the Hound. Honestly, Hank himself didn't remember how upsetting that movie was, but he never knew it would make any of them so upset.

Specially Colin.

"S-she left hi-him!" Colin sobbed as they froze the movie, all androids and Hank looking worriedly at the middle brother. "Wh-why?!"

"She had to. He was an wild animal, she couldn't keep him inside forever" Conan said, as warmly as he could, which wasn't much, and only caused Colin to groan and hit him in the chest.

"Fuck that!" he said loudly, before hitting his own lap and wiping his eyes. "I want him happy!"

"Watch the end of the movie kid" hank chuckled, tilting his head. Colin frowned, eyes still teary.

"Will he be happy?"

"Yes"

Colin huffed and wiped his eyes some more before unfreezing the movie and curling up against himself, hugging his legs like a petulant child.

Gladly, the movie actually ended with the fox being happy with his girlfriend fox, which was a relief because Hank had totally bluffed. God, he needed to watch those movies again.

They moved on to the ones Hank had actually watched in the cinema. Hercules, Little mermaid, Lion King, Tarzan, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Pocahontas.

Those were Connor's favorites. He really liked the ideas behind them, and made constant comments on it. He talked about costumes about the different places that they showed like China and Africa, he talked about the myths about mermaids, and about beasts and monsters and genies.

He was really into the whole fun.

At least, until they watched Tarzan, and his eyes widened at a certain song, something clicking inside his head.

"relate"

Hank furrowed his eyebrows and turned his face towards Connor while the others did the same.

"What?"

"Isn't that the expression? Relate? Relatable?" connor asked, looking back at Hank and making him chuckle.

"you mean you relate to the movie?"

"To the song, Hank" Connor explained, looking back at the TV. "Strangers like me. That was what I felt when I first met Markus. When I first saw all of those deviants."

"Oh. That's sweet" Hank said, smiling fondly, and Connor frowned, looking at him.

"it is intelligent, a really profound song Hank. It is not 'sweet'"

"I think he means you are sweet" Colton suggested, and Connor hummed, smiling a bit.

"Oh thanks" he mumbled, grabbing his pillow and hugging it as he looked back at the television.

But not before he leaned closer to hank and laid his head against his leg, while quietly mouthing the song to himself.

At last, they reached the movies from the 2000s. Since the android creator was born in 2002, he guessed they would know enough about those movies, and gladly, he wouldn't have to show many more from beyond 2020.

They didn’t even have that time anyway. It was already Sunday, after lunch.

He began with the ones he despised the least. Because yes, after he grew up, the movies began to suck. So they watched Atlantis, Brother Bear, The Emperors new Groove, Treasure Planet, Lilo and Stitch, Big Hero Six and some others. They finished it off with Coco, one of Hank's favorites. That movie was really good.

The only one he actually liked from the 2010s.

And, as he was guessing, those should be Conan's favorites. At least, he hadn't shown any particular interest in any of them, so he hoped he would like at least one to do something else other than raise an eyebrow or sleep.

But then again, maybe animations weren’t for him. And if that was the case, Hank needed to find out what was.

In any case, as the new movies played, Conan watched them attentively. Perhaps a bit more than the rest, seeming to really be analyzing them. However, unlike the other three, he remained quiet until the last one finished.

Hank couldn't really stand the silence, turning to Conan and humming.

"So. Conan. Did you like any?"

"yeah, you said nothing throughout the entire weekend" Colton asked, frowning curiously, and both Connor and Colin looked over at him, waiting.

Conan was still staring at the Tv, and his focused glance slowly turned to a frown.

"They were all... bad" he said, coldly, but clearly trying to say it in a way that wouldn’t hurt anyone.

"Conan!" Colton whined. "They are beautiful!"

"I enjoyed them quite a lot" Connor admitted.

"I wish they weren't so sad" Colin mumbled, crossing his arms.

"They are obnoxious, predictable, the voice acting could be better with the lip-syncing, the animations were reused many times throughout many movies, simply overlaid with different characters. The songs were weak, catchy and designed to be sung by children, there were morals to every single one of them and most of them ended up in the same complex. There were barely no morally grey characters, leaving the entire art as something very black and white and boring" Conan said, coldly, clearly irritated, and all others widened their eyes at his complains. "I'm sorry Hank. I did not enjoy it"

"... kid, you are the best" Hank chuckled, and Conan looked at him surprised. "Next time, we will find something you will like. Don't worry" he tapped his shoulder and shook his head, standing up. "Time to sleep boys"

"Already?" Colton complained, and Hank smiled at him.

"you four don't have to sleep" he chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Goodnight"

"Night!"

"Goodnight Hank"

"Sleep well!"

"Until tomorrow"

The silence remained for a while, as Hank changed. But as he laid down on the bed, the discussions began.

"I can't believe you didn't like Mulan"

"She was just crossdressing, Colton"

"Colin, you have no feelings"

"Do you think I should try it one day?"

"try what Connor?"

"crossdressing"

"... yeah!"

"Colton, be silent. Father is sleeping"

"Conan, you know he doesn’t sleep so quick"

"Does not mean you can be loud"

"Can we watch Lion King again?"

"Colin... why do you want to watch that?"

"I... like the songs"

"Fine with me"

"I agree"

"..."

"Conan?"

"... fine"

"Yay!"

Less then five minutes later, Hank could hear the opening song through his wall, and smiled lightly to himself.

He had the best kids.

[hyunarkarchive]

oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.” 

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile. 

not even 10 minutes later 

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark: 

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops. 

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk​ & @rkwon​ & @rkgwen​ - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark​ & @rksunwoo​ & @rkseokwoo​ - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;;  minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy​ & @rkjohnny​ - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon​ & @rkgray​- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh?  brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose​ & @rkkyungri​ - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!! 

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya​ - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;;  special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho,  thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

[moczothe1st]

Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 30: Man, oh Man, oh Manfroy

Part 29

Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War.  Last week, we fought off like six armies all at once, and it was miserable, but on the plus side Hilda died. I think every game would be better if Hilda died.  This week, we finish taking her castle and… *sigh* And we regret it, probably.  This week, we start off mid-turn, so after moving most of my southern front up north toward the action, I end my turn and let the remainder of Hilda’s dorks take their shot.

… Why couldn’t they have gone down that easy last week, huh?!

Now, on our turn, the enemy is down to four dark mages with staves, and one dark bishop with a siege tome in the castle. I have Fee cut down one of the former…

And have Larcei and Seliph talk about love, because honestly I’m actually in no big hurry to finish this castle.

Larcei: I’m coming with you on this one!

Seliph: Of course you’re welcome to… but why?

Larcei: It’s odd… I’m actually a little scared…

Seliph: Odd indeed! If there’s one thing you’ve never been known for, it’s fear.

Larcei: It’s… I just…

Seliph: Shhh. I understand. Now come! After all, what could ever inspire courage quite like having you at my side.

(… Damn, Seliph, smooth like silk. You win a little more of my respect, bro.)

Larcei: Seliph…

This conversation gives Seliph +1 to his Strength; it was apparently supposed to be +3, but he was actually only one point away from his (oddly low) cap. Apparently Seliph only has a natural 25 strength cap! That seems weird considering his descent from Sigurd the Humungous.

And… sigh. Guess I should kill the stupid boss.

All right. Nothing left but sleep staves, and they can’t really hurt us. I have Fee and Altena purge them.

And now we have the problem dealt with. A little jumping around before I set off the next story segment; I have Finn zapped home, where he repairs and sells his Brave Lance. I’m going to have Fee buy it after we take Freege.  Sorry, Finn, but you’re kind of just not holding up; you lasted longer than I expected you too, but despite being decent on offense you’re just kind of fragile.  Oifey will also be benched here, I think, he can stay to defend Freege castle after we take it.  Thankfully…

… The game is polite enough to tell us where the next part of the chapter will be coming from. So I do spend a turn or two moving the kids up to this gate and ready to rock. Seliph?

Seliph: But I can’t help but wonder… are the children at Belhalla still unharmed? I pray they are…

Lewyn: Funny you should say that!

(That’s not really the appropriate response to dying children.)

Lewyn: We’ve got a visitor who’s got a bit of news on that front, Seliph.

(“I’ve seen… terrible things. Thank the gods I have no sister, for I fear I would never be able to look her in the eyes again.”)

Felipe: On secret orders from His Majesty, the abducted children were moved here to Freege for safe-keeping.

(Orders so secret that we never actually got to see Arvis give them in that whole scene where he was desperately trying to save all the children at Chalphy and failing, being immediately caught, and then getting cowed into submission by a man infinitely less powerful than himself. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD FOR ARVIS, GAME.)

Felipe: Rest easy, sire. They’re all hiding in the city’s abbey, and they’re all in good health.

Seliph: And all under Hilda’s nose, at that! That you’ve kept every last child safe in Hilda’s own city… color me impressed!

Felipe: Actually, sire… Princess Ishtar deserves your thanks. Without her generous aid given in secret, we could never have done this. No Imperial soldiers dared come even close to the abbey, on pain of the princess’s wrath.

Seliph: Princess Ishtar?! But why… why would she-

Felipe: Few people in this land are as kind and caring as Princess Ishtar.  

FEW PEOPLE IN THIS LAND ARE AS KIND AND CARING AS PRINCESS ISHTAR.

YEAH SHE’S A FUCKIN’ TREASURE.

Felipe: All along, the princess has toiled behind the scenes to aid our cause.  It was Princess Ishtar herself who ensured that every last child escaped from the bowels of Belhalla.

(“Then… how comes she’s… you know… literally banging the Devil?” “Technically he’s a ghost dragon.”)

Seliph: I see… at any rate, thank the gods for their safety. I’m certain everyone will be glad to know the children are in good hands. You have my deepest thanks, Lord Felipe.

Lewyn: Well, Seliph, that’s one job done. Good to see we’re finally getting results out of this mess.

(Hey, screw you man, I’ve conquered three quarters of the country.)

Seliph: And yet, Julia still eluds us… where could she possibly be?

Lewyn: The only options left now are Belhalla and Velthomer. It’s got to be one of those two.

Seliph: And Belhalla is where Julius awaits…

Lewyn: Yeah. We’ll need to find Julia first if we want to go anywhere near Belhalla. Without Julia’s power on our side, we won’t have a hope in hell against Julius.

(Again, not technically true, but you really should listen to him on this one.)

Seliph: But no matter what’s happened, Julius is still her brother. Will she even want to fight him…

Lewyn: … You’ll have to convince her.

(I mean, you’ve met Julius. It won’t be super hard.)

Ishtar: This will require that I leave your side, even for a while. I beg your forgiveness.

Julius: Feh.

Julius: Why the rush to get out there so suddenly, Ishtar? All the soldiers they could ever throw at us could never so much as scratch me. Why even bother with those maggots?

Ishtar: Yes, I know… but for me, there is no greater pride than being one of Freege’s great mages.

(“Saving all those children? Doesn’t even compare.”)

Ishtar: My parents and brother lie dead, and I cannot stand to leave their murderers to run amok… please. All I ask is a chance for vengeance.

Julius: It sounds as if what you really want is to following your family to death on a rebel’s blade! Are you so desperate to escape me, Ishtar?

Ishtar: No… nothing like that, Lord Julius. I love you. Nothing will ever change that.

Julius: Hmhmhmhmhm… I know.  

Julius: Very well! Fight if you must. I won’t stop you.

Ishtar: Thank you… now, I beg your pardon. Meng! Bleg! Mabel! We sortie at once.

(Oh god, we are really scraping the bottom of the name barrel this time. ‘Meng’?  ‘Bleg’?)

Julius: Now, then. I think it’s time we put an end to this sorry show. Deadlords, move out!  And order Arion’s unit to attack!

(… wait, what?)

So. You may recall I told you to remember this moment.

It was important for two reasons.

First: This is the moment the war becomes winnable. You see, Manfroy is not… really all that into Loptyr. Oh, he worships him, but it’s not really about loyalty so much as sadism. Manfroy hates the world, and every single human being in it. His overall goal in life is nothing more or less than to make humanity suffer as much as possible. But he’s generally pragmatic about it. He knew the best way to hurt humanity was to revive Loptyr, who possesses incredible powers and views humans as little better than food to eat and pets to abuse. This moment, right here, is the moment that Manfroy, flush with overconfidence in the presence of his god on earth and having enjoyed a long decade and a half tormenting the entire continent, finally makes a mistake. He lets his sadism overpower his common sense for the first time. And in so doing, he gives us a real shot.

Second: Because he’s still Manfroy, he’s a total fuckwad about it.  

Remember Ayra? Waaaaaaaaay back in Verdane, remember how we recruited Ayra. How we had to get to a castle to turn her non-hostile to us, only she was between the army and the castle and she was trying to kill us the whole time?

Yeah, that’s happening again. Only it’s Julia, our lil’ atomic vampire gatling gun trying to kill us. Of course she’s just as strong as she was when she was on our side, why would you even ask.  Oh, and just for fun…

Here’s the map of what we need to achieve.  The blue X is where we are. The red X is where we need to get to save Julia.  The ravenous piranha is Ishtar’s army, waiting to pounce upon us and tear us limb from bloody limb.  And to her right, marked by the douche, is Julius. You don’t have to fight him, and you in fact definitely should not because getting anywhere near him will also draw the Deadlords out to fight you, but of course has a siege tome now and will cheerfully wreck the shit of anyone who gets anywhere near him, therefore heavily limiting the space we have to move.

And of course, Julia will be trying to kill us the whole time, and we can’t fight back and risk killing her.

And hahaha, yeah, Arion will be showing up soon.  

This is not going to be any fun, is what I’m getting at here.

First thing’s first, let’s take a look at our piranha.  

Ishtar has taken yet another level in badass; her magic has gone up two points, skill by three, luck by 2, defense by eight, and resistance by one. And this time, she’s got an actual army with her instead of fighting us alone; three Snipers, three Heroes, three Sages, three High Priests with Fortify (of course) staves, and of course…. *snerk*…. Bleg, Meng, and Mabel.

They’re three identical Falcon Knights, both in picture and stats, so I’ll only be showing one of them. Despite the intensely crappy names, they honestly three ridiculously dangerous units. They all have Earth Swords, meaning any hit they land is going to heal them, and they’ll be hitting often what with that maxed-out Speed and solid 23 skill. And to make things worse, they all have the Nihil ability to prevent us from just shooting them down with arrows or relying on Astra to solve our problems.  

So! This is going to suck. A lot. But thanks to Ced being awesome, there’s an option I can take to make this a lot more manageable.  Lana sells her Silence staff, and he buys it…

And with his 35 fucking magic he can overpower Ishtar’s 32 Resistance to Silence her up to three times, basically removing Mjolnir from the equation for this battle. And Mjolnir is like… half of this battle’s equation.

I literally cannot believe I’ve never tried this before.  From here, the army moves forward, Seliph leading the way; he’ll be attacked by quite a lot of people here, but he’s a living iron wall of destruction, and the more of these people I can lure away from the main melee, the better.  So. End turn!

(*sigh* Must you, now?)

Arion: Chalphy’s fall to our blades shall be the first step to winning back our fatherland. Now, move in! Show these liberators one final defiance from the drackoknights of Thracia!

A solid enough start! We hurt one Falcon Knight, and didn’t take much damage in return.  And now that Ishtar is in range…  

Oh, that is delicious.  Now, my first goal here is to kill at least one of these three annoyingly fast pega-bitches, but I also have to get Altena (and yes it has to be her, of course it has to be her) down to the castle to intercept Arion.  I hate everything forever.

One down!  Let’s keep this train rolling and clear out some more jerks.

Two out of three ain’t bad!

Okay, I think that’s about all the damage I’m going to get done this turn.  And not bad at all, frankly, so I’m happy.  I have Lene dance Altena, and warp her home with Lana.

Ignore the pentagram. It’s a good pentagram. Down at the bottom, Altena equips Gae Bolg and flies to just outside Arion’s range. The rest of his buddies don’t matter at all, but I don’t want her to fight him. There’s a reason for this, of course. It’s unsatisfying, but it makes her happy.

The things I do for my kids, I swear.

End turn.  

… Huh. They don’t attack her? Or maybe they can’t damage her. I honestly am not sure.

*sniff*

I remember the last time I played this map.

I died five times on this battle alone.

And now it’s going better than the fight against the fucking Beige Knights.

I don’t understand what’s going on.

Altena: How could you be so craven?! How dare you place your vanity and pride over what truly matters!

(You tell him, honey!)

Arion: What do you want from me, then?

(God, don’t ask her that. This LP is not rated Adults Only.)

Altena: Take a good, hard look at Prince Seliph! Ask yourself, this: why is he still fighting? For whom is he out here day after day, setting his own suffering to the side?

Arion: So Seliph fights for justice, and I somehow do not? Is that what you’re trying to say?

(…. YES!)

Altena: Very well, Arion… if you won’t see reason, so be it. Come on. Kill me. End this. My… my life is in your hands. I die with no regrets.

Arion: A-Altena… very well. You can rest easy now. I get it. I was wrong… my mercenary days are at an end, and my final task is with Seliph. Wait… no. With you. I now fight for you, Altena.

Altena: Arion…

Yeah, it would have been neat if you’d done this a few maps ago, jackass, but Arion is on our side now. Or, well, sorta. He doesn’t join the army, but his unit becomes neutral and are programmed to stay close to Altena and be hostile to any Belhalla units that get near them. I know we all sort of wanted to kill him, but he still has Gungnir and I really just didn’t want to risk a screwup when things are going so well.  I mean, I’m not even gonna use him. At this point, letting him get near the enemy would likely result in him rushing Julius and dying, which sorta defeats the point. Let’s just end this; time to wipe out the remains of Ishtar’s unit.

And now, a special treat. Since Ishtar can’t fight, we get to see a conversation that even I have never actually seen.

(…. ‘Nothing but kind’.)

(Just sayin’.)

Ishtar: … I may be in the wrong. But I can’t turn back now. Forgive me, Tinni… please….

And thus passes Princess Ishtar of Freege. She died as she lived: getting nuked by her cousins. And without her leadership stars…

All right. Now, the rest of the army is going to stay right where they fucking are. Julia cannot be trusted to not kill herself, or more troublesome to not kill me.  The only people going forward are Seliph and Ares, who are going to go north across the forest, out of Julius’s range, and try to lure Julia into following them. Their resistance is tremendous, and they’re both on horses. Ideally she’ll try to kill them, fail, and be following them and unable to catch up until I can free her. This will take a few turns of nothing but movement because I will not be going anywhere near Julius.

Trust me.

She seeeeeeeeeees uuuuuuuuuuussssss…

Okay. There’s two things that could happen here. She’s either going to go east and cut us off, in which case we’ll be dodging vampire lasers the rest of the map, or she’s going to go north through the forest and we basically win the game.  Let’s see!

…. Bitch. Okay, straight west you guys! Hide on the healing church, you beautiful bastards. God, haven’t used one of those in awhile, with those fifty healers in the army lining up to zap everyone with staves.

Dammit, Loptyrians, I am trying to flee in terror from a small woman.

Okay. We can do this. Ares heals up, and all we have to do is clear out those priests and kill Manfroy. Go get ‘em, boys!

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Are you fucking kidding me.  

Of all the.

That.

I.

I.

You.

HOW.

What the!

NO.

………………

Well. You know all those times when I was questioning my good fortune? The moments where I was like ‘oh, man, I don’t trust how generous the game is being, bet it’s gonna screw me later!’ Well, that just happened.

*sigh*

End turn. If I survive this, I will be genuinely stunned.

Oh hey it’s as though the Hel tome is really easy to dodge and you should have dodged it all along. But here we go…

(How do you know that’s Manfroy? You’ve never met him…)

Manfroy: So I did. And so long as I live, my puppet she shall remain! Hehehehehe!  She’s every bit as helpless before my magic as her mother was…

Seliph: I should have known. If not for you, Mother… Gah! All of this misery… all these agonizing years… It was all your doing from the outset!

Manfroy: Heh… of course. Everything I’ve done has led to this moment: the revival of my lord Loptyr. And at last, it is so! Loptyr’s advent in the form of Prince Julius is complete, and darkness shall soon engulf the world. You cannot prevent it. Nobody can…

Seliph: Manfroy, you… Father’s grief… Mother’s despair… if not for you and your foul ambitions, none of this would have ever happened… Damn you, Manfroy! I cannot allow you to win! I will not! You’ll NEVER know mercy for your crimes!

Yeah, not the dramatic win I was hoping for after that great speech. But I guess I saw that coming.  Reset! I start off a little differently; Seliph and Ares park themselves on trees. With the 20% dodge bonus, they should have no chance of being hit by Hel, and very little of being hit by Julia. We need to clear out these Dark Mages before we go for Manfroy.

Better! This repeats for all of them; one actually dies because they’re forced to attack at close-range thanks to being blocked off by their own buddies, which is great.

Yeah, yeah.

He only does one damage. Seliph could have survived him with no problem in any other situation. I hate this game sometimes. On our turn, I have Ares and Seliph each clear out a mage…

Then immediately go hide in the woods again. I am playing this as cautious as humanly possible, honestly. Better to spend three turns killing mages than let the reset counter jump up above the number of updates.

The enemy misses again on their turn, because they literally can’t not miss. Two more deaths…

All right! That’s that for dark mages. On the next turn, Ares is going to park his butt on the healing church forever, and Seliph goes to fight Manfroy.

You stay out of this.

Now then. It’s time. It’s time to face Manfroy himself.  In direct combat. The enemy behind it all! The dark schemer who has given over our kingdom to the dark god.  And he…

Is a loser.  I mean, he’s not the worst enemy in the game. He’s okay. But he’s definitely no match for Arvis, or Ishtar, or… anyone with a holy weapon, really.  Which fits, really; his danger is his skill and intellect, not his power.  But considering he’s basically the final boss, it’s a little sad, still.

Seliph. Teach him some manners, bro.

And with two shots, he’s down to six HP.  End turn.

I miss the days when I was the one with the Julia Beams.

*sniff*

God. That is just cathartic to do. Now. With Manfroy off to Hell, where I’m assuming he will meet Hilda and strike up a whirlwind love affair, Seliph can take the castle.

Lewyn: That’s right, isn’t it Felipe?

Felipe: My liege concealed the key within his most treasured memento…. The circlet once worn by Empress Deirdre.

(HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK!)

Felipe: If we can find that circlet, sir, the Book of Naga is yours.

Lewyn: Deirdre’s circlet…

And that’s that! Ares runs toward the castle, with intent to lure Julia toward us. Of course she’s still hostile, why are you even asking? She has to talk to Seliph to get back to our side. Tee-hee, Fire Emblem hates you.

God, you are just like your mother. Seliph, go fix this please.

Seliph: It was Manfroy’s dark arts. He brainwashed you into his service.

Julia: Manfroy… that’s right, he caught me…

Seliph: Thank goodness you’re safe.  

Julia: Lord Seliph, I…

Seliph: It’s fine, Julia. I know. Lewyn told me everything. I’m sorry… I failed to protect you.

Julia: No… it’s fine. Don’t worry, Seliph. I finally know why I’ve survived for all these years. I know my fate… I’m fated to fight. I’ll never run away again!

Seliph: You’re right… This is the will of fate, tragic as it is. None can afford to cower or flee now. Until the bitter end, we must march on.

And with that, Julia rejoins the team. She’s just as strong as ever, barring one fact; she’s picked up Deirdre’s circlet, adding Renewal and Miracle to her list of abilities, which is a heck of an upgrade.

But not as good as the one she gets from reaching Velthomer.

Lewyn: It worked… it really worked! And there it is, the Book of Naga! It’s yours for the taking, Julia!

Julia: … Oh! How strange… it feels so warm. It’s almost as if I’ve known this book all my life…

And now, the game is over. See, here’s the thing… Julius is just as dangerous as before, if not slightly moreso. His stats are slightly lower than his first appearance where you are very clearly not meant to fight him, but he still has Loptyr’s game-breaking effect, and his ability list is now Wrath, Pursuit, Nihil, and Accost. So he can double most of our army, null critical hits and combat abilities, and gets a huge critical boost when his health drops below half. And of course, he’s on a castle and gets the defense bonus and health regeneration that gives. Basically, he’s borderline invincible. The only real option if you lose Julia is to have Seliph fight him, and poor Seliph can only do about 15 damage per turn (if he hits) some of which will then be healed.  While getting blasted in the face repeatedly, so you’ll need to get someone in to heal him between rounds, and they’ll very probably die to having Meteors dropped on their head unless you’re very lucky. And then there’s the Deadlords, who are just a pain.  

But if you do have Julia…

Yeah.

YEEEEEEEEEAH.  

Naga is the best weapon in the game. +20 each to Skill, Speed, Defense, and Resistance, instantly turns Julia into a hyper-fast, hyper-accurate, hyper-durable killing machine. And as a light magic tome, it has no disadvantage to any kind of weapon. And, of course, it negates Loptyr’s half-damage effect.  Your reward for the most annoying recruitment in the game is the weapon that ends the game. Big time.

So.  

It’s time to lay back and let Big J play us out, I think. I have her do the Arena, just for old times sake. Nothing even touches her.

Julia: Seven wins, gained two levels. +2 HP, +1 Speed.

About as good as can be expected at this point, honestly. And it…. Doesn’t really matter, you know? She heads to Belhalla, and Julius has no chance to hit her with Meteor, so he doesn’t even try.  The Twelve Deadlords rush up to meet her, of course…

They’re going to regret this. The Deadlords are named for the animals of the Chinese Zodiac, and each one has a different class and some very good weapons and abilities. They’re a dangerous group! Usually.  

One down, eleven to go. End turn.  

And then there were nine.

Sorry, seven.

Six of one, half-dozen of the other.

Fun fact, ‘Lepus’ means ‘Rabbit’. And ‘Dead’.

Well I’ll be! Someone landed a hit!  Too bad Julia did too. Four to go.  

I’m so bad at counting! It’s actually three. Congrats to Equus the Bishop on surviving a round with The Julinator.  But with that, none of the remaining Deadlords will actually take a shot at Julia anymore, so I’m just going to ignore them. It’s time for a family reunion.

(He isn’t wrong.)

Yes, that was a single round of combat. Julius procced his Accost skill and made the fight last an extra round. This… was not helpful to him.

Julius vanishes, the spirit of the dragon arising from the castle as the entire map shakes…

But it’s just bluster. Naga’s power has destroyed Loptyr’s vessel, and with its bloodline finally ended the dragon’s grip on this world is gone. Loptyr returns to whatever void it came from, and with the power that animated them gone, the few surviving Deadlords vanish.  

I’m going to cut out here, but no sense waiting a week, huh? So see you tomorrow for the epilogue, kids. I think we earned it.

Final Reset Total: 30.  Y... yay.

Epilogue

[wonderhevrts]

Daz Games sentence meme !

Daz plays Until Dawn #1

Collected the best bits of Daz Black playing Until Dawn -game. On the first part are sentences from #1-#5. More sentences under Read More. Feel free to change the pronouns !

click here for #2 !!

"If that is the case, then we should really eliminate all butterflies."

"Oh Jesus Christ i'm gonna get everyone killed."

"Cabin in the woods type of deal.."

"I like hot girls in cabins."

"Oh man, what a slimeball."

"Oh man, bitch alone in the woods.."

"I wouldn't actually be out here! I'd be at home! With a cup of tea!"

"Oooh a reindeer!"

"Holy shitballs and deers!"

"Don't say hello. Stop it. You don't want an answer."

"For Christ sake bitch, i'm wearing my new Yeti boots and you are really pissing me off!"

"No you're not, you just.. You just wanted the D."

"Oh, you lost your phone. What's gonna happen to your Twitter account now?"

"Are they dead? Yeah, they're pretty fucking dead."

"What a bad start.. I'm a monster!"

"You're gonna ruin your fancy-as-shit jacket, bitch!"

"Oh my god, you did not listen to me!"

"Don't have time to be feeding squirrels."

"That is really really odd, i'm not even joking. Haha, and i've been to several strip-bars this week."

"____, I'm gonna throw you off the cliff!"

"Yeah, it's his penis."

"We're gonna shoot some shit? I can do this! Right?"

"Catch some zzz's brah!"

"Bra-strap effect!"

"____! You're dead first, if i get the choice!"

"I'm still gonna punch you."

"AAAAHH! Why!? Such a dick!!"

"Nail his arse!"

"Hahahaa! Having so much fun before we all die!"

"Hah! You ain't getting any of this booty!"

"We know what's going on! We know he was just out there caressing his ex!"

"You dick.."

"I'm gonna be nervous if you keep smacking the table like that."

"You creep me out."

"I'm not coming out with you on a Friday then."

"I'm not paying you next time. I hope you know that."

"No you know what, screw it. I'm gonna ask her out. No no no, not now. Later, later."

"Oh god, why do we gotta walk so slow?"

"That's a bit worrying.. I mean i'd take one look at that and i'd be gone."

"Ready for senior prom.. No, they weren't. They perished."

"Ooohh-whee.. I thought that was a person.." *nervous laughter*

"I completely wasted time, coming down here!"

"Is that jacuzzi-tub?? I'm so getting in there!"

"Oh yeah, he saw the two hugging. Shit's gonna go down."

"I'd dump her, there and then!"

"Oh yeah, selfies!"

"God, everything with these guys is just about sex, isn't it.. It's never about anything else."

"Just keep the torch on the booty."

"Uhh, totally bitch. That's where we're going. You think i'd be out here for any other reason? Oh my god.."

"Did that happen in the shed?? Fuck that, i'm not going in there!"

"Fuck me, sideways, now.."

"Well, your music taste sucks, that's one thing."

"Where is this cabin? Who built it out here? Are they stupid?"

"Fucking CHINA heard that!"

"Could've gone back to the other cabin but noooo.. No, now we're in a mine."

"I didn't do that deliberately, i swear!"

"Four times now, we've nearly died."

"Why are we out here? Why are they putting us all the way out here?"

"This is so unfair. If my friends did this to me, i'd beat the shit out of them."

"Man these two need to relax and have a cold shower."

"A fucking owl in my ear!!"

"Shitballs! Shitballs!"

"I once saw my dad fix a pipe. So i can fix a pipe. I'm super plumber blonde lady!"

"Whenever you're in a cabin, it doesn't matter what noise it is, it's always the killer!"

"Yeah great, thanks. I really need company going into the basement of the big spooky house with no power and the killer outside."

"Oh yes. All this for a bath."

"I've never ever had this tense feeling from holding a torch before!"

"That was not funny! That scared the shit out of me!"

"Can we please just get to the cabin, that apparently, is the same distance that Frodo walked to Mordor!?"

"Don't make me feel bad, you shit."

"I'm obviously not paying you enough, if that's how you decorate your office."

"There's a meat hook by your window, sir. And your curtains are shredded."

"We're doing an Ouija board??"

"She just screamed, did you wanna hurry??"

"Take your time. Probably only being murdered.."

"I don't understand, why is there a mask just floating in the air in there?"

"____, when i find you, i'm gonna FUCKING MURDER YOUR FACE!!"

"So funny, love. Haha. You're dumped."

"We've been walking for what seems like a day!"

"No, don't antagonize it!"

"Why are all the deers arseholes??"

"I mean i love my friends and all, but i'm not out here to do this."

"I'm starting to think that there really is not-- Wait a minute, that looks like a cabin."

"That's not a fucking cabin, that's a shed!! It's got holes in it!"

"Well. I give it precisely an hour tops, before someone pulls my pants down and does stuff against my will."

"No, lets scare her, that bitch. She deserves it for what she did to me."

"Meathooks! Hanging from the ceiling! That means i'm going this way! Bye!"

"I'm gonna find a deer, in real life and i'm gonna punch it in the THROAT!"

"What is it with the deer out here!? No wonder people shoot them!"

"Serves you right for being a DICK!"

"Comfort it?? It's got half of it's neck missing!"

"There there, it's okay deer, it's fine. You're gonna die, but it's fine."

"They said that in the Jurassic Park about the Raptors."

"I'll sit on your head!"

"I just like, feel like they don't fully understand what just happened. He just pulled a deer's head off.. And they're fine!"

"What now? Should we go down to the fucking Levi's store and get you some new jeans?"

"Get a log, stick it in. This is log simulator."

"We're gonna strike the match. AH! Nothing more satisfying than that in life, am i right?"

"Am i that ugly? Thanks!"

"Hey. You want the D, not me."

"Apparently all i can do is show that i have marvelous wrist movement.."

"Alright yeah! I'm on for the blanket! I'll knit you one right now if it'll make you happy."

"Wha-- What am i doing? What am i doing with my head? Have i got a condition!?"

"Love.. I swear to God. Shut up."

"There's the map to Mordor, where we just fucking walked.."

"You say blankets one more time, i'm gonna make a blanket out of your scalp! Shut up!"

"Why don't you fucking do it!?"

"Don't give me the option to pick up the gun, it's the first thing i'd fucking do!"

"Oh my god, it's her phone.. And it's playing Macy Gray.."

"You don't want to know why it came from the window by itself."

"Don't-- Don't go out there. I'm not coming out there after you!"

"Oh my god! She got sucked through a window!"

"Your friend who got sent out in the middle of Mordor, she got sucked out of a window."

"We need a Scooby Doo, is what we need."

"I mean is no one paying attention to how the fucking doors open by themselves in this place!?"

"You don't fire me, i quit!"

"Ow fuck! Ow! Why am i using my head!?"

"What the fuck does Slipknot want with me!?"

"I don't know who that is, but i call him Slipknot apparently!"

"Oh he's bought a.. A scarecrow! And served me.. What looks like a dead cat."

"Starting to think if the therapist, is the one who needs the therapy."

"I don't like ____, she's a bitch.."

"Hah! He knows! He's in my fucking head."

"You know what, i'm thinking about going with another therapist, who doesn't have a naked scarecrow in their room.. If that's cool?"

"___ got pulled through a door, didn't she.. And Slipknot attacked us!"

"I don't think shouting for ____ is working, just wanna point that out."

"Get your lantern, that's it boy. Gun is probably more important.."

"That's it take your time, please.. Girlfriend's not being killed or anything, that's fine.."

"She wasn't the brightest tool in the kit, but she was fit!"

"Circle! Triangle! Square! Circle! Shouting them helps, i'm sorry."

"Okay jump. Jump jump jump, just jump. Just jump!"

"Come on, what's next? I can take it! AAAHH!!"

"___ is just such a beast! He's in a beast-mode right now!!"

"Oh yeah, lets just do it with our bare hands. I like your style, ____."

"You might wanna grab some wood or something to bash the shit out of him."

"Oh, now he's got away. Because you forgot to load the gun, ____!"

"Fuck, ____ is dead, i can't believe it.. And i've got a tank top on in the middle of a blizzard."

"Slipknot didn't kill ____. Does he just like girls or something?"

"Either someone spilled ketchup, or that's ____'s head-juice."

"What the fuck's this? AAAAAHH!!"

"How is that a clue? It's a pig's head! In the middle of the woods!"

"I love walking through the woods. This is like a walking through the woods simulator!"

"Stop shouting! Stop it! He's only gonna hear you!"

"It's a Jigsaw-shit!!"

"Please give me the option to do nothing! I can't choose this shit!"

"Oh man, this is so mean!"

"I don't think he's okay, he's all over your jacket!"

"Oh for fuck's sake.. Who the fuck is that!?"

"Fuck you. You're the worst therapist ever!"

"I hope you fall out the window. Which shouldn't be hard, because you've done very good job at barring it up."

"You don't exist, because this room is changing."

"Oh fuck, here we go."

"Sanatorium? I'm going in there?? Fuck's sake.."

"Really don't like wolves. Really would not like to get eaten by wolves!"

"Careful now, ____.. Wouldn't wanna fall like ____."

"If she's alive, that's very very mysterious."

"I don't know, i'm starting to question everything! My therapist isn't real!"

"Shut up! Bloody howling at the moon.. What's the matter with you?"

"Okay we're going in. Probably won't be able to go in through-- Oh! I was wrong."

"No, it's locked. Yeah, i get it. I get what 'locked' means."

"Morgue?? Why not. Why the fuck not."

"Let's go to the morgue! I'm sure nothing bad happens down here!"

"Now we've got a weapon, we can fuck him up with it and his dogs."

"I'm making hotdogs tonight! Hahaha!"

"Aah you know what they say; See a big wolf shadow, go the other way! That's the old saying right?"

"Hey Skeletor! See ya later!"

"So i think i'm looking for a pass.. Or a hand? That's a fucking hand."

"Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

"I'm not cutting my fucking fingers off!"

"Oh they're gonna fucking make me do it, i'm gonna have to cut my fingers off!"

"Why did i touch it? Why?? This is why we can't have nice things!"

"You just cut your fingers off and you're making jokes!"

"There's my fingers. I'm just going to leave you there guys.. Sorry fingers. I wish i could've taken you with me, still attached."

"Fucking rats crawled out of him/her!"

"Welp! My job is done here. Minus two fingers, so i'm gonna go."

"Now i'm gonna fight him.. With two less fingers and i'm probably bleeding to death."

"____, what are you doing, mate? Come on, i know you're losing a lot of blood, but lets try to stay on topic here."

"Psycho crib.. We're on MTV's psycho cribs!"

"So what have i got in mah fridge? Haha, let me tell you son! I got a head of my wife! Haha! That's what it is! And a few dead guinea pigs!"

"Here boy! Here boy! I've got you my partner's knee bone! You want a knee bone? Who wants a knee bone?"

"Apparently i'm the fucking dog-whisperer.."

"Well, you know what they say! .... I actually don't know what they say."

"Is it loaded? Check if it's loaded you fucking idiot!"

"Well now we know it's loaded, and whoever is still in the building fucking heard that!"

"I've lost a lot of blood, right? I cut my own fingers off, it's been a very stressful day."

"Serial killer guy doesn't really know how to pick where to live.."

"Oh shit! Slipknot's watching us!"

"Damn you Slipknot."

"Oh yeah! We are a lumberjack!"

"These guys are Captain Obvious."

"How about rule number 3, suck my arse? Did you forget that rule?"

"If you fall.. Not gonna lie.. Wouldn't care that much."

"It's fine. Take your time. Don't slip. Break your neck.. Would hate to not have to listen to your wingy fucking voice anymore.."

"Yeah, i'm coming.. Just like, tempted to push you off the ledge though."

"Holy cannoli? Who says that anymore??"

"You're dumped! Holy cannoli!"

"What are the odds that one of these boards are gonna snap?"

"I keep trying to predict what happens and then it doesn't happen and then i feel silly."

"What in seven shades of shit.."

"Just slap it, it's a deer!"

"Yeah bitch, a lot's been happening whilst you've been bathing."

"Oh, we're nakey! I like this game now. Those are some amazing pixels."

"Hopefully there's not a mechanic to pull the towel off.. Am i right??"

"Hide, hide! That was probably a fucking stupid choice!"

"Ohh Slipknot's gonna see me, it's so obvious where i am!"

[shaykeijser]

riverdale 2x16

 here are my thoughts/reactions to this weeks episode that no one asked for, which will include spoilers (obviously) so i’m putting them under the cut. i’ve already watched the episode so these aren’t my first reactions technically but they’ll be the same. 

caution: i’m not a fan of jughead or the core four. so i’ll be poking fun/getting annoyed at them.

- why did betty not go straight to alice with the dna test? why would she give chic, who she thinks is capable of hurting her, the opportunity to last out at her? i also still don’t get why she didn’t just get a normal dna test. like you’re a journalist, get the full truth, not just some of it

- i fucking called it!! why do ya think hal wanted nothing to do with chic? remember when he said “you’re letting this stranger into our house”? he wouldn’t call his own son a stranger

- fp is the dad and that’s the facts (that wouldn’t make bughead wrong don’t even try to defend that)

- chic is such a good creep IM LIVING FOR IT

- if it wasn’t a for-profit prison it wouldn’t be the worst idea. but it is so :///

- southside high was falling apart at the seems. the old students were aware of that and were plenty happy to go away! yes the lodge’s had other intentions with shutting down the school, but overall it was a good thing. there’s other, more valid reasons to not like the prisons that aren’t being talked about!!

- lol we know that veronica running for stuco wouldn’t end up well

- fred getting more screen time <333 (even if i don’t totally agree with him)

- does everybody at this school watch the same tv shows how is jughead quoting scandal (which i had to google) universally understood? i’m actually a sophomore and my friends and i quote vines.

- why isn’t ronnie defending herself? she gave that look to archie so he could defend her. where did kick ass veronica i don’t take no shit’ lodge go??

- ‘hunger strike for southside high’ BOI 

- ‘for it to re-open’ i had to pause this when i first watched this scene. he went there for like 2 weeks. toni was his only true friend for the majority of it. he didn’t like the idea of it and didn’t like what he had to do to survive there. the other students were happy with it closing!! why you gotta be so extra?? and if he really wants to get out of riverdale to be a writer he shouldn’t be trying to go back to a school that had teachers who gave up hope on their students

- ew ethel (i was eh with her all together but i’m still >:( over how she got mad at veronica for what hiram did to her father. veronica was one of the only people who was comforting her and tried to make amends. we can’t forget that when that all was going down veronica didn’t like her dad)

- WHY ARE KEVIN AND JOSIE SITTING ALONE

- wait jk i remembered 

- HAHAHA ok i’m josie (don’t get me wrong i like veronica and is the only tolerable lead for me atm but that slushie thing is really funny. it was sorta uncalled for, but she is working with her father soz)

- props to veronica for being the bigger person in this scenario

- 'what are the odds your father’s gonna be the first inmate in that prison?’ #boomroasted #thatwasatheofficereference #didanyonegetit

- lol at least veronica kept her cool for a little bit (go her btw)

- MY POOR CHERYL NO

- mama blossom is shady and nana rose is sassy

- that tea’s gonna be poison i’m calling it

- why would ethel’s dad want a job at the prison? he was a businessman

- veronica’s own parents are threatening her UGH

- power to veronica for wanting to run but this isn’t gonna end well

- TONI’S HOT & even if her audition flopped cheryl still would’ve made her member #lovemybabies

- tbh i didn’t like the lodges being the main plot point and i’d still prefer for the serpents to get more screentime than them BUT this is getting interesting

- drag him archie

- i want to see other south siders fighting for this why does jughead get to be the leader of this revolution (that i’m here for!! except for the school thing bc it doesn’t make sense)

- y’all have been having friendship problems since the ms. gr**** thing i think the trains have been getting closer than you think jug

- FINALLY, THE CHONI I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

- something bad is gonna happen to cheryl i’m calling it, and nana rose

- (about what betty said after cheryl opened up) betty let chic into her and her family’s life can she not just be cautious from a distance and let her mom enjoy having her son back

- of course toni’s in the bed you sly little bird cheryl

- y’all gonna fuck? kidding this the cw that’s only for het couples

- THEY GONNA KISS AWE

- ok fuck why can’t we have some happiness for once

- penelope and claudius pushed her, i mean penelope had obviously prepared a back up plan incase she didn’t die (mentioning sundowners syndrome)

- #ProtectCherylBlossom

- aw archie’s mom is back i’m happy 

- YES SCHOOL THAT BOY FOR DISRESPECTING FRED GO MAMA ANDREWS

- charles melton looks really hot with a bruised face oi oi (so does jordan connor)

- that lowkey sounds like a bribe veronica.... 

- fang, toni, and pea are in this scene?? new favorite scene

- honestly, if any other serpent was the one in jugheads spot i think i would be all for it lmao

- i thought mary (andrews) was gonna also give archie the safe sex talk that he archie never got dang

- mary’s giving good advice though let’s just hope archie will listen to it

- I LOVE KEVIN 

- kevin had the right to tell chic, she was the one who forced him into the poorly planned catfishing (like seriously - she shouldn’t have been there and they shouldn’t have done it at a school). kevin has barely got any good storylines that actually continue and i’m so damn happy that he’s sticking up for himself. betty only reaches out to him when she needs help.

- betty talking about her darkness and saying ‘darkness’ in general is the most cringey thing ever. she has some sort of mental illness. i don’t know what but they shouldn’t have taken this ‘darkness inside of me’ approach.

- i wish V tried to become josie’s friend before asking her for an endorsement. actually, i wish the show resolved their friendship ages ago. they’re the one of the few WOC and overall i’m tired of girl x girl friendships being ruined like this

- it’s got so bad that veronica had to bribe josie to endorse her. i know this isn’t gonna go well

- sweet pea looking like an out of focus snack <333

- DRAG HIM JUGHEAD (lol you can tell how much i don’t like archie being up hiram’s ass that i’m praising jughead)

- give betty cooper therapy, you cowards

- ‘i caught the black hood’ bitch no you didn’t that hoe still out there & i’m taking that theory to the grave

- sheriff keller woah i forgot about him

- my boy fp!!

- omfg imagine when betty tells jughead that chic’s dad isn’t hal they better have him be like “...what if it’s mine” (i just realized that sorta sounds like jughead saying ‘what if the kid aka chic is mine’ and that’s not what i meant, i meant that chic’s dad is jughead’s dad but that made me laugh so i’m keeping it)

- oh sHIT something’s gonna happen @ this concert/rally for veronica’s campaign thing

- kevin’s filming it yeps something’s happening

- ope i knew it ethel is passing papers out 

- woop there it is

- i don’t ~really~ get why betty’s mad 

- JOSIE’S APART OF IT WTF I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING but i should have :(

- this show tries to be all about female empowerment but then they have two girls banding together to bully an already manipulated and hurting girl. smh

- again, i don’t ~really~ get why betty can’t trust her anymore

- :((( i feel so bad for ronnie. she’s being manipulated by her parents and i really want her out of lodge industries. she’s taking blame for the shit that her parents have done

- THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR

- HAHAHAA THE WIG OH MY GOD

- “i was guessing” congrats betty, you’ve played yourself

- the offer that hiram made to fp actually sounds nice :((( if only he wasn’t so shady 

- archie is so far up hiram’s ass he sounds exactly like him

- YOU GO MARY! SCHOOL YO CHILD

- finally a parent (alice) talks bout safe sex to their kid (betty)!!! my mom is gonna be so happy when she watches this episode (yes i watch riverdale with my mom, no it’s not awkward during sex scenes because we watch every show together so we’re used to it)

- “absolutely not.” keep telling that to yourself alice

- alice cooper is my favorite cooper

- “he’s dangerous.” bitch so are you? you held a lighter up to his face?

- i thought alice killed that drug dealer is that what betty is saying he did

- cheryl doesn’t have red lipstick on in this hospital scene something’s gonna happen

- nana was being poisoned by the tea :((

- i guess i’m remembering this wrong i thought alice shot him (about the scene in chic’s room)

- how did betty not remember that he didn’t touch anything

- CHERYL DROP AND ROLL OUT OF THAT CAR NOW

- look at archie being all smart aw

- why is betty next to kevin?? stay away from my baby (kevin)

- this scene is actually really powerful? even though them chaining themselves to the school is a repetitive and cliche thing to do, the aesthetics and the filming of it is really cool

- can we see all those young serpents more often pls

- what is jughead talking about why does he think they’re gonna lose riverdale high? is it because of veronica running? bc no one’s gonna vote for her after those flyers

- uGH i can see him being a good president

- why is betty so done with her and veronica’s friendship? i really don’t get why she’s so mad at her?

- jughead, betty, and fp all living together. that’s a concept

- SOMEONE WRITE A HEADCANON OF ALICE BUSTING INTO THE TRAILER TO GET BETTY BACK AND THEN WE GET SOME CUTE FALICE ANGST

- i’m happy mary’s staying bc maybe with her around we’ll get more fred screen time #canyoutellilovefred

- FUCK YEAH FRED IS RUNNING

- toni topaz is the caring type of girlfriend who goes to her girl’s house when they aren’t in school pass it on!!

- but really though where is cheryl what are they doing to her

- CHERYL DOESN’T DESERVE THIS SHE’S BEEN EMOTIONALLY ABUSED FOR YEARS AND HAS LOST A BROTHER, FATHER, AND BEST FRIEND 

main takeaways

~ veronica is being manipulated by her parents and doesn’t deserve half of the shit that’s getting thrown at her

~ jughead is still cringey and extra

~ toni is the girlfriend of all of our dreams let’s be honest here

~ cheryl blossom doesn’t deserve this bullshit

~ betty cooper is mentally ill

~ chic is fp and alice’s son

~ #FredForMayor

[thebigreylotheory]

TLJ Review Part Three: Reylo

Well, my Reylos and other Star Wars people-I-amuse-in-some-way, taking my sweet time just like the holidays, I guess it might be a good idea to finish my TLJ review before the Blu-ray/DVD release tomorrow…hmm? (I still want a VHS copy.)

Been busy getting born Bob Dylan-style. And not feeling particularly Star Warsy (as a sensitive person I can feel negativity and Kylo-style I just wanna let it all die.)

And, also, I was waiting on the TLJ Novelization, which IMO was vague and silly.

(I knew it wasn’t going to be Nights In White Reylo Satin…

But I didn’t know Kylo was Napoleon Dynamite who catches lightsaber pies,

Rose is Jane Brady, jealous of Marcia “Rey,” who kisses ex-stormtroopers just to try it like the Katy Perry song,

and Leia really, really believes Luke could have a Jedi ship army…cause now this strong heroine “needs” rescuing after all this time.)

BUT let’s go back to the movie. Let’s time-travel all the way back to December 14th, 2017:

when I had emotionally prepared myself for nothing Reylo to happen. Great Expectations leads to suffering in the butchered words of Yoda.

I felt very minimalist about it. I told myself I’d be happy if Rey and Ren (cause I didn’t know calling him Kylo was a thing, no one called him just “Kylo” in TFA) had more scenes together. I’d be happy if, perhaps, they had another good fight. Or, if Kylo Ren gave Rey a good, bad puppy stare. That was the least I wanted. I was prepared to go home happy with just that in my Star Wars basket.

Rey and Ren would have to be friends, I thought. I told myself, if Reylo is ever going to happen, they have to momentarily be on the same side, or with the same goal.

However, I reasoned, throwing out every Reylo theory, that most people wanted a showdown involving Luke, Rey, and Kylo. So, I figured to keep the movie good and tense, they’d delay Rey and Kylo being in the same scene until the black moment. I thought, I’d be biting my nails and about to vomit wondering if Luke was still Rey’s dad, while Kylo pouted about not being Rey’s teacher and possibly offered her another opportunity to be schooled while explaining the connection between them…

I told myself I enjoyed being this hyper-character-form-of-myself TheBigReyloTheory, and toy photography, and fanfics, and meeting and sharing with other fans, while it lasted. For me, it was more about a distraction and having fun, looking through a glass darkly, than being absolutely right. Which is starting to sound like Joseph Campbell’s “The Fan’s Journey”*, not to be confused by “The Fan With A Thousand Faces”* (*not real books…I think).

But, the moment Luke tossed the lightsaber away, I had a strong hunch: something Reylo-y will happen.

I knew if Luke wouldn’t willingly teach and tell Rey everything she wanted to hear, there’d be something she’d seek from Kylo Ren. However, there again, I didn’t think this something would materialize until the worst possible moment.

Then suddenly, in the words of the Star-Wars-bubba randomly seated next to me, who was dipping into his TLJ collectible cup, “Something weird happened.”

Weird, indeed, bubba.

Kylo Ren and Rey sharing some sort of Force power? A connection across the stars?

REYLO HAPPENED.

They went from “Hiss boo!” (You’re-a-monster-yes-i-am. Perfect exchange, btw.)

To Rey letting Kylo measure her for a pair of gloves. Her hands were probably cold in the cave. And you see, Kylo has a member-discount at Gloves R Us. (Hand touch scene: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG, btw.)

How quickly this friendly-ship developed shocked me. In a good way. I really didn’t expect we’d be getting a “willing” touch, a will-they-won’t-they-kiss moment, or a proposal.

I was on a rollercoaster of emotions.

As a romance reader, anytime the heroine sees the guy shirtless, even in a sweet/clean romance, it usually means there’s gonna be more between them. Even though I totally hope Kylo becomes more self-confident and losses the sauna belt. 

No, Rey, he doesn’t have a cowl to put on. That would take the whole ForceTime session. Have you ever looked up the 501 Kylo Ren Costume Reference?? The man wears a TON of clothes before you even get to cowl! (Is he afraid he’s going to get sucked out into space, like Leia, and freeze?)(I missed out of the whole Reylo sex scene debate, but I gotta say, it would have to be Rey doing a bodice ripper on Kylo to get through all those layers, and that’s all I’m gonna say).

The infinite scene in the Force cave was certainly freaky upon first viewing. It gave off an eerie, rhythmic, dance vibe. There was a strange second were I couldn’t figure out why Star Wars was suddenly being narrated. I was panicking there’d been a huge time jump. And then I also was panicking that the people in The Mirror of Erised were going to be Han and Leia, and I’d have to hurl. I knew this was Reylo or bust.

Never, never, never guessed Rey would be mailing herself to Kylo. Or that Chewie would be helping her accomplish this task. Wonder how many Porg stamps that took? Yeah, yeah stormtroopers cuff her. But notice how they’re alone in the elevator? (And I’m burning the Naan bread trying to find the scene online…I hope that’s not a euphemism.)

When Rey says she’ll help him…Just, wow. I’m on the edge of my seat. It’s almost like she’s saying she’ll be his “help” mate. After seeing the movie three or four times, it was fun to watch the people in front of me lean on the edge of their seat, too. Rey truly goes after what she wants!

I’ll be honest, I thought we might have been getting a lead-up to a Kenobi lineage or Snoke-relation when Kylo says he knows who her parents are…the line in the elevator just felt so heavy especially approaching a “royal” throne room. Almost like he’s going to tell Snoke. 

But I’m not disappointed in Rey’s backstory. I was pretty much cool with any Rey parentage (other than Luke or Han and Leia), so long as some more Reylo could happen.

And, once Snoke made it, kill-the-girl or else, I knew this was it. This was a turning point. I still can’t believe it happened the way it did. It’s probably one of my top movie suspense moments ever. OMG. What is he going to do? OMG. Will that work? OMG. It did!

Victory, plain and simple!

For a moment, everything is right and “going” the “way” I wanted it to go. It was an epic, courageous feeling! A thrill!

And I didn’t think they could top the Starkiller Base fight, hahaha...

Then, of course, the pendulum has to swing the other way.

And, I’m going to do a pure speculation post, so I’m just going to say: most heartbreakingly, interesting proposal ever.

And custody battles over lightsabers are tough.

But, yeah, Reylo happened. And I’m content.

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,655

As someone who considers herself one of the softest and sweetest, I'm glad to have gotten mixed up with one of the hardest and saltiest. I think uh. Hm. I think you and I couldn't have less in common haha. And I like that. I like that so much.

After the first time we fooled around, I told you I didn't want anybody we both knew to know about it. You said, "Well nothing happened." And uh. I do think that statement was ultimately true for you. What happened was nothing. Which. Lol. It doesn't hurt my feelings that bad. In some ways it's kind of uh. Look. It's a relief to know I'm capable of a mini tryst with someone hot who definitely doesn't care that much about me. It's something something some people never get to experience. I think that either totally makes sense or doesn't at all. Right? Right. Hahaha.

Yeah. I mean. What we actually are is two dozen nights hanging out with our buddies, a handful of times just the two of us stayed up talking until four in the morning then fell asleep together on the couch, and two fun as fuck hook ups. (Plus that one night we slept in your bed and I accepted you weren't as into me as I was into you.) Which. Lol yeah it's pretty close to nothing. Barely more than that. But it counts for me. I'll think about it sometimes after we're not friends anymore and I'll smile.

Having a crush on you knocked me out of a long lasting fixation on my heartbreak and wow for that I'm stupid grateful. You were fresh air. Something amusing after a stretch of not really wanting to laugh at anything. Yeah uh, being super attracted to someone I knew my ex would super despise on sight?? Whew. Some kind of wonderful. Lol. Thank you for doing me that humongous favor. I don't think you even know you did it.

I would of kissed you for longer. I had hopes for us, hahaha. And not the slowly but surely end up together kind. Nothing that romantic. Look. Haha. I think we both know the way I felt about you was filthy. Mm. Unfortunately it all burned out faster than I anticipated. (I have my guesses for why but would prefer not writing them down.) And I suppose that's fine. Maybe even for the best! I really really wish you'd waited another couple months to rekindle with her. There was more fun there we could of had. Should of had! I really really wish I'd made the suggestion sooner. The timing wasn't great. Oh well, oh well, oh well.

Mm. Mike did get in my face on a Sunday night saying, "HE DOESN'T THINK OF YOU." And then something along the lines of, "YOU DON'T MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM." Which. It's not like I believed otherwise? I mean. I dunno. After that argument with him, I decided he wouldn't of said those things if he hadn't heard them from you. I assumed you were complaining about how into you I was and so I backed off hard. Mhm, mhm. Idk. I can understand why you didn't want to be that aggressive with me, but you could of been! And you definitely could of not done it behind my back. But. Whatever. You don't owe me any particular kindness. I understand that.

I hoped there would come a point that the two of us could have a clarifying conversation, but I'm less than a week away from moving across the country and it seems unlikely we'll be alone before then. Honestly? I think the other two are "protecting" you from me and me from you. Which. It's fine. It's truly really completely fine. We won't ever talk about it. I'll write this and maybe a couple others when I'm a certain kind of sentimental. That'll be good enough for me. Hahaha and OF COURSE less than that will be good enough for you. The man who wants/needs nothing. Who five years from now hopes his life is exactly the same.

Yeah. Idk. I'm glad to discover I can kiss somebody beautiful and get nowhere close to falling in love with them. What a relief. I worried I didn't have it in me. Thanks for helping me prove that I do.

Mm. You honestly were my favorite buddy in the whole world for a short while there. Maybe I should of told you so. Yeah. Man. I wanted to be nicer and nicer and nicer to you, friend. Hahaha. Oh well, oh well, oh well.

[kayliemusing]

16

Who are you? - My name is Kaylie. I’m 22 (soon 23). I live in Canada.

What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? - I’m a writer, I love Taylor Swift lol, I always need to process things before making a decision.

Where do you want to be in 5 years? - In five years I’ll be almost 28, I think. Hopefully I’ll have some semblance of a writing career or the beginning of one. I hope I’m financially stable, in a job I enjoy and maybe in Calgary (which I’m planning to move to this year but the decision hasn’t completely been made yet!!)

Are you more child-like or childish? - Child-like, because I don’t think that’s a negative connotation. 

What is the last thing you said out loud? - “Yeah”

How do you handle a rainy day? - I love a rainy day. I like to drink hot chocolate on a rainy day and stay inside so I can just watch the rain.

What did you want to be when you grew up? - I remember wanting to be a hairdresser and I also had plans to open up a vet clinic lol. Don’t want either of those things now hahaha

Are you more of a giver or a taker? - Giver. I’ve never been called a taker so I don’t think that’s me and I love giving to others, but I’m not going to say I’m completely selfless because I think I have my moments where I’ve been inconsiderate and taken from someone.

Have you ever been given a second chance? - Yes

Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? - My decisions I think are instinctual, so I listen to my gut feeling/heart.

What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? - When I was about fifteen or sixteen, I slipped and jammed my toe into the wall/baseboard and I broke my toe nail completely off my toe and I think it was fractured but I never actually went to the doctor for it lol. I remember even the blanket touching my toe hurt so bad that I needed advil like every four hours. Eventually and grossly, my toe nail fell off and I thought it was damaged for good but I kept managing the new toe nail as it grew and I fixed it!!

Who have you hugged today? - Nobody

If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by learning, what would they be? - Singing, drawing, dancing

What 3 things do you want to do before you die? Live. That’s really about it, honestly. I feel like it sums things up quite nicely, actually.

What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? - Public speaking of any kind, anything that results in an awkward conversation or a moment of humiliation, anything that has me needing to approach a stranger/talk to a stranger/ice breakers with strangers, etc.

Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? - No

What was the last thing you made with your own hands? - I wrote a poem a little over an hour ago

What was your favorite toy as a child? - I don’t totally remember, but I loved playing with Barbies and I had this Barbie Cruise ship and hot pink car which I used a lot.

What is your favorite thing to do outside? - I like going for walks or sitting by a firepit to relax.

How do you feel when you see a rainbow? - “Look, it’s a rainbow!!” is usually the first thing out of my mouth but I don’t know if I feel anything. I’m just kind of happy to see it and I admire that it’s pretty.

Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? - This happens to me a lot!! I kept dreaming my sister and her bf would break up and they did. Along with other smaller things.

What one thing have you done that most people haven't? - Watched my dad die 

Are you a patient person? - Yes, unless it has to do with slow wi-fi lol

What holiday should exist but doesn't? - I’m not sure but I wish there was a holiday in the summer time that was really festive because I always feel like summer is boring in the aspect that there isn’t really any holidays (because I love festive things)

What's the best joke you ever heard? - I don’t know if this qualifies as the best joke, but Jim Gaffigan gave me a laugh when he said it’s called Covid 19 not because of the year, but because of the 19 pounds we all gained during quarantine.

Is your hair natural or dyed? - Mostly natural, but I do get blonder highlights just to make a little brighter and then I of course get it toned. My hair is super brassy blonde so I like to brighten it up.

What is under your bed right now? - Old painted canvas’s from high school lol and then an old bulletin board filled with old poems and quotes I liked in high school.

If you drive do you frequently speed? - No, because I’m terrified of having to talk to a cop if I get pulled over. (I hate feeling like I’m in trouble or I’ve done something wrong, and I also hate talking to strangers because it makes me nervous)

What is the world's best song to dance to? - Shake It Off by Taylor Swift

What song was on the last time you danced with someone? - I haven’t lol

Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney, but I do like Warner Bros movies.

Would you consider yourself to be romantic? - Yes

If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? - Yeah we’d probably all die

If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? - If Santa was real, the north pole, but for now I’ll say the equator because I feel like the north pole is a little too cold for me.

Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? - Watching Tv. 

What do you think makes someone a hero? - Saving someone or being selfless/putting others first. 

What cartoon would you like to be a character in? - tbh spongebob

Name one thing that turns your stomach. - Caviar

What was the last thing you paid for? - Some scrubbing sponges, a journal and some leggings at wal mart.

Get anything good in the mail recently? - Yes, I ordered some colourful eyeliner pens from Colourpop and they’re beautiful

Tell me some of your greatest fears. - Spiders, enclosed spaces, loss, letting go, dying painfully, failure/not achieving my dreams, physical pain. Tbh the list is quite long.

What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? - This isn’t really that eccentric but in the tenth grade I wore these pants that were black and white stripes, however, the night before robin thicke wore the same type of pants when he performed that terrible performance with miley cyrus so when I went to school everyone made fun of me so when I got home I threw them away. 

Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? - We used to catch water bugs as recess and bring them into the class until the teachers were like pls stop.

You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items... - Sleeping bag, flashlight, tent

List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most. - My mom, my sister, my grandma, my best friend megan, and taylor swift of course

If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself...what would you wish for? - I wish that my mom could be financially blessed so she could cut her hours majorly and start truly living her life again, I wish that my sister could move out again for many reasons, and lastly I wish covid would end

How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in? - Nothing would make me do that because money could never bandage the scar that would be my humiliation looping forever in my mind.

Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? - I was on tv once for five seconds but it was just my legs and butt when I was walking through the neighborhood with my third grade class delivering christmas cards. Still don’t know why this warranted news coverage but oh well.

Have you ever named an individual part of your body? - No

What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden? - This is totally a random question, but I think death was a good call.

Is there anyone you trust completely? - My mom

Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? - Yes, my dad was in a coma before I could ever say goodbye.

Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? - Indoor jacuzzi

Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? - Not really

Would you consider yourself to be wise? - Yes

Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? - If there wasn’t a subway that would trample me, yes.

Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? - Rock star baby

Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? - No

Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? - Not currently, but when covid ends, I’m hoping to go to a TS concert in the future because I’ve never been.

About how many emails do you get a day? - Too many, but they’re all promotional.

Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? - No

Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? - I would never hitch hike therefore wouldn’t bring anyone with me.

If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down? - Late 20′s.

Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time? - Not always, but sometimes if fear sneaks in I’ll think about it.

What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? - Jurassic World 3!!

What's on your key chain besides keys? - I have a cute little mirror that’s a kitty!

How do you feel about endangered species? - I love them and wish there was more we could do, but I also don’t think about it a lot.

Do you like feather pillows? - Yes

What was the last CD you bought? - I didn’t get a physical copy, but it was Taylor’s Evermore album on itunes. The last physical CD I got was her folklore album lol

Would you be willing to go hang gliding? - I’m not sure what that is oops!

Have you ever taken a lock of someone else's hair? - No and I’m concerned why this is a question.

Have you ever given anyone a lock of your hair? - Again, no and still concerned.

If you had a locket what would you put inside? - Probably a pic of my dad.

What is the difference (if any) between madness and brilliance? - It’s 11 pm at night and this is too philosophical for me right now.

Write any random sentence here - Random sentence. 

Say the sentence you wrote out loud. Did anybody answer? - I didn’t say it out loud, sorry :/

If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, who would it call? - It would either be my sister or my mom.

Miracle on 34th street: which is better the original or remake? - I don’t know if I’ve seen the original.

Have you ever been in a parade? - No

Do you turn the base up all the way in your car? - No. I can go a little loud, but not vibrating all the cars on the street loud.

Do you care if what you do annoys others? - Yes, I’m obsessed with people being mad at me.

What keeps you from being happy? - Dissatisfaction with life, depression, creative-blocks,

Can you talk for one hour without using the word 'like'? - No

Why is it that a fly can't bird but a bird can fly? - hahahah this was cute. But it’s probably because bird isn’t a verb and fly is a verb depending on the context.

What websites are addictive to you? - Tumblr and Youtube

Who do you love so much that you would clean live maggots out of their garb? - Taylor Swift

Have you filled out an organ donor card? - No

How many oxymorons can you think of? - I’m too tired sorry

. How many years old is your diary/livejournal/myspace? - I don’t have a myspace or anything like that, but my tumblr is about eight years old.

Would you ever wear vinyl pants? - It’s aesthetic, but no.

What was the last thing that you printed out? - A journal entry

What are you dependent on? - My mom lol

What do you look forward to each day? - Lately, nothing, but usually reading a new book lol

What did you think of the Columbine shootings? - So sad

What takes your breath away? - Taylor Swift’s lyricism!! Like???? Also, Richard Siken poetry.

Have you done anything recently that you regret? - Eating lol

Will you ever do it again? - Yeah

Would you rather live in a world of perfection or do you like the world now? - Perfection

Is a frightening world a more interesting world to live in? - No, and that kind of opinion is disappointing

In your opinion what gives people depth and character? - Hardships, because even though they hurt, we come out differently and we’re able to look at the world differently and also appreciate things more. 

What’s the name of your favorite band? - Of Monsters and Men

Do you have an account on neopets.com? - No. How old is this survey lmao

Who is the next person you will hug? - Probs mom

Where was your last vacation to? - I think it was BC a few years ago

Where was your last car ride to? - My moms work.

Where was your last bus ride to? - I haven’t been on the bus in YEARS.

Where did you last walk to? - To the car lol

What is the worst band in the universe? - I don’t know

What is the next book you want to read? - A book called A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas is one I’ve been waiting on for a long time and it’s coming out next month so that’s one I really want to read soon.

What gives you a peaceful feeling? - Soft music, worship music, laying on my couch watching game grumps, reading or journaling. Anything soft and content.

Do you ever stay up late watching infomercials? - No

Are you a light sleeper? - Not overly.

Are you a toys-R-us kid? - I was :(

Are you part of the mile high club? - I don’t know what that is

Would you rather be part cat, or part scorpion, and why? - Part cat, because i could communicate with my cats.

When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first? - Me. I’m usually out before my head hits the pillow.

What is your usual breakfast? - Bagel w strawberry cream cheese or butter

How quickly are you willing to take drugs to numb pain? - Only if it feels intolerable

Have you ever had your car towed? - No

Have you ever used Kool-Aid to dye your hair? - No

Would you rather be naked and famous or dressed and non-famous? - Dressed and non-famous...

What band or singer do you believe started rock and roll? - I couldn’t tell ya.

If you had a large black vase what would you put in it? - Flowers or maybe some fancy decor sticks

Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country? - I feel like I can do any. If I move to Calgary we’ll see how I do in the city, but I think I’d definitely like country and suburbs. 

Would you ever participate in a 'sock hop'? - Don’t know what that is.

What’s your age? - 23

What’s your hair color? - Blonde, but it’s a lil brassy

What’s your eye color? - Blue/grey

[kimmysfandomblog]

Ohh, 6, 9, 11, 19 and 25. For all the games, but if it's too hard to pick, you can have one by game :p

Thank you, Serahne!!! ^ v ^

From here: https://kimmysfandomblog.tumblr.com/post/170470327942/lafumiko-hi-people-i-was-searching-for-a-good

Spoilers for V3, so these are under the cut!

6. Favorite plot twist?

DR1: Gosh, it’s a tie between Sayaka being the one killed and even planning to kill to escape the game and Naegi escaping execution!!! Bot of them realy threw me for a loop! I will say that discovering Sayaka was murdered left the greater impact, though, and was the reason I stuck to Danganronpa early on. It blew my mind at the time!

DR2: Hajime being Izuru/the “mastermind” was the most shocking thing to me! I really wasn’t expecting that??? I really came to love Hajime a lot by this point, and was feeling incredibly sorry for him already. When we were exploring the school for the last trial’s investigation and the Hope Cultivation Plan came up, I kinda figured it out. I don’t think I connected the dots completely though, ahaha. Also, just the fact that all of them were evil and responsible for spreading Despair worldwide was such a great plot twist, in my opinion!

DRAE: There weren’t many plot twists in this game, but I guess the most shocking was that Monaca was not an invalid. Like, she was pretty obviously the one running the show, and she was obsessed with Junko, but her faking being handicapped to control both her family and friends for sympathy and to get what she wanted was a genius plan on her part!

V3: I honestly didn’t like them all that much, especially Kaede not being the protag. The ending one where Tsumugi reveals everything is a lie (literally) wasn’t bad or good in my opinion. Like, I wasn’t necessarily disappointed by the ending like I thought I would be (that one was spoiled even before the game released in Japan because I couldn’t blacklist on PC and thought going through Hajime’s tag would be okay :( Damn you, dataminers!!!), I kinda just accepted that this was it. Also the trio being alive was not an exciting plot twist in the least (I love you Himiko and Maki, but your survival kinda makes me go ehhh with how the game ended). I guess that only leaves Kaito being ill and dying before his execution killed him as my favorite! I really liked how that last execution (not counting Danganronpa’s execution) was the reverse of the very first execution we see (Jin Kirigiri’s), and I already loved Kaito. It was nice that Kaito’s final goodbye was a middle finger to Danganronpa’s theme of killing the blackened with an over-the-top execution!

9. Favorite Ultimate Talent?

These are all very tough decisions…

DR1: Ultimate Biker Gang Leader! I honestly would never expect such a talent to exist, and I gotta wonder how HPA was able to gather data for that talent, hahaha. It helps that I found Mondo endearing even if he swears a bit and reacts with violence. He hast a golden heart full of regrets, and I liked his backstory! Also the talent itself is just… really cool.

DR2: Ok, so this is kinda weird, but Ultimate Lucky Student. Makoto was a totally different kind of Ultimate Lucky Student than Komaeda’s, where all-in-all he is an average guy and his luck only affects him sometimes. While that is an interesting talent, it’s not as interesting as Komaeda’s. Komaeda is probably the truest definition of Ultimate Luckster! His luck is tragic. It takes away any personal relationships and turns it into materialistic fortune. It is so powerful it warped Komaeda and his view of the world drastically. Gosh, it is very interesting and gets me wondering what could possibly happen around Komaeda because of his luck in different situations and with different people. Truly, a fascinating talent that I wouldn’t bestow on anyone!

DRAE: There were only a few people with an Ultimate Talent here, haha. I liked that Kotoko was the Ultimate Li’l Drama who actually will not perform for anyone (understandably) and the Fighter of the Group! If that counts, haha. Otherwise we only have Byakuya, Fukawa/Syo, Makoto, and Komaeda (and technically Izuru but he is on the screen for, like, 5 seconds and has every talent, so that would be boring anyways). If I had to choose between the four talents without Komaeda repeated, I think the most interesting would be Syo’s Ultimate Murderous Fiend! It’s really interesting to me that she’s a split personality of Toko. I kinda have to wonder how Toko can get exhausted easily, but Syo can slash and dash, even hurling herself several feet in the air, without breaking a sweat!

V3: It is a tie between Ultimate Anthropolgist and Ultimate Mage Magician! Unlike with the previous installments of the series, I was able to just see the talents before knowing the characters, though, so Ultimate Magician was the one that really caught my eye since I’m obsessed with Fantasy AUs, especially of the RPG kind with that class system! I’ve also always been really fasinated by Magic and magicians in general, haha. After playing the game, though, Kiyo really sold me on the Ultimate Anthropologist talent! I was a Cognitive Science major in the school within the university that focuses on the humanities, so not only am I very interested in human cognitive thinking as individuals and as a group, but I took a lot of history and some anthropology courses. I really nerded out with Kiyo and Shuichi during those FTEs! History/Folklore is truly fascinating! 

11. A character you’d revive?

Alright, this is a tough one for some of these because most of the ones I liked who died died “well,” as in their story was finished and satisfying. I’d surely love to see them alive again, true, but if we are going by canon and I could only bring back one, then it almost feels cheap. Kinda like “DR3 cheap.” That makes most of these characters not my favorites, but ones i felt deserve a second chance/should have survived.

DR1: Ishimaru. He isn’t my favorite character (I’m honestly gonna place him in the “he’s ok!” range), but he clearly didn’t have any satisfying development. You can’t get FTEs from his Kiyondo form, and he dies having done very little as Kiyondo other then some inconvenience regarding Alter Ego! It would probably be super interesting to see what he would do in later chapters, and if he ever snaps out of it in the chapters after.

DR2 (assuming the DR3 anime never happened): Saionji died for nothing, let’s be real here, lol. She was just barely going to reform herself and become a better person, and then she dies, offscreen, on accident. A friend also helped me realize that we never come across her murder weapon. I think that what would have been the best solution was not having a double murder. Plus, it would make it interesting to see whether she is able to forgive Kuzuryuu at all or not, how that affects the groups trust in each other in later parts of the game (since it is really hard to get close to her since she doesn’t trust people easily), and especially her reaction to being Ultimate Despair, as well as her growth spurt.

DRAE: Chihiro’s dad Taichi. He and Yuta died for shock, but how sad would it be if he was alive and found out his son was killed? And that his son’s legacy, Alter Ego, survived? Man, what a tragedy! It would have been nice to see him tag along with Toko and Komaru to the adult’s base and maybe try to hack into devices, or slowly give upgrades to Komaru making her life a little easier. He could also join Togami and leave Towa City.  He’d be an incredible asset to Future Foundation, but he would either refuse out of grief, or he’d take time to warm up to the idea, before accepting and becoming the head of any project regarding the Neo World Program/Alter Ego Chihiro, working closely with Miaya, and keeping close to those who had been Chihiro’s friends.

V3: hmmmm, this one I don’t know for sure. It’s between Hoshi, Miu, Kiibo, and… this may surprise you, but Angie as well.

*** Angie Negativity, you can skip it ***

I hate Angie, but she honestly needs the story development. She got the most abrupt ending, another offscreen death, and no resolution. Honestly speaking, if she had a better story and some form of redemption/questioning of her actions, I would like her a lot more. She just never learned that what she did was wrong, and unlike in her FTEs, telling her “no” made her stick more to her own opinion. Like, initially I didn’t like Celeste in CH3, but I actually grew to like her because she had that backstory that made her want to be more than she was, and she anyways accepted her death in the end without being spiteful and ruining the secret of Alter Ego, even giving the others a hint of where she kept him. She was leagues a better character than Angie. Angie, I was starting to kinda accept her after finishing her FTEs when I was still in CH2 (even if I hate the racial stereotypes, what with orgies, sacrifices, etc). She really made me mad when she refused to listen to anyone else and manipulated others to agree with her (I have an extremely soft spot for Himiko and Gonta, so my bias didn’t help her at all). I’ll give her that she’s really sly and a lot smarter than she tries to let on, but  her cutesy personality combined with manipulation to convert to a religion, suggested by light brainwashing using her paintings (and the fact the others were converted overnight), all so that she can get whatever she wants, and then not seeing any kind of downfall: no backlash or consequences because of what she did? It makes me mad. I’m sorry. I hate her and yet, she is one of the people I’d revive, hahaha. Geez, I honestly tried to like her despite my initial feelings I would dislike her, lol.

*** End of Angie Negativity ***

Kiibo dying while the other three survived is something that rubs me the wrong way since he almost never got respect until he was destroying the school, even when he was one of the few character that were actually helpful during the trials. Honestly, if the others survived, which, given the ending, was kinda pointless, then him surviving as well wouldn’t detract from the impact. Seriously, if anyone deserved to survive, it would be him or Maki.

As for Miu, her death felt like a cop out, for some reason. I can’t explain it exactly… I know that her being killed was because they needed her to go after Kokichi, so that they could get him to trick Gonta to kill her, but it feels wrong somehow? Like there was unfinished business? She had the electrohammers, electrobombs, a remote control, and a bug catcher, her more amazing inventions, made after her death. All her upgrades to Kiibo were very useful, but not as amazing. A drone and the camera set up are really simple, too. Her working with Kokichi on these amazing inventions feels like a plothole instead of plausible. It would be really nice to see her survive since, despite being vulgar, she’s really entertaining! And I wonder how she’d react to being told she wasn’t real, nor was she actually a genius inventor.

And I can’t forget Hoshi! He died horribly for no reason. Kirumi could have bashed him in the head with a tennis racket, or against the wall or something, after she knocked him out. There was no need to pin the blame on anyone. The second trial p*ssed me off so much because it was unnecessarily convoluted and cruel for no reason and anyways made no sense. My heart truly goes out for Hoshi. He had a horrible life! He was imprisoned for killing the Mafiai, was a true hero, and I wish he could have learned that he could find something to live for.

So yeah, V3 was the hardest for me this question, hahaha. I honestly can’t choose between these four. BIG SIGH

If this was bot the answer you were hoping for and you just wanted to get a list of my faves who dued, it would go like this: Sakura, Komaeda, Taichi, and Kaito! Priority goes to Sakura since Ko lives post-canon, hahaha

19. Favorite Free Time Events

DR1: Alright, honestly I need to actually play this game myself. I’ve only seen LPs of the game, and the anime does not have FTEs. The only FTEs I recall are Sayaka’s, Chihiro’s, Ishimaru’s, Kyoko’s, Sakura’s, and Asahina’s. I don’t think I can really say which is my favorite, but I really like Sakura’s and Kyoko’s. I just… can’t remember most of their backstories ^^

DR2: DR2 had too many good FTEs. Komaeda’s are probably the ones I liked the most, though? I didn’t care much for Komaeda initially. He was an interesting character, and I didn’t hate him (I was very neutral). I felt like there was more to him, so when I played the game myself after abandoning the LP I was watching, I went after him first and it changed my mind completely! I like it when a character’s background is explained and matches consequences and actions the character makes during the main story, and DR2 did this really well for my taste. Komaeda’s helped explain everything and made him a sympathetic character and helped me to understand him. Of course, it also sparked the Koma/Hina shipping, hahaha. If I had to come up with a runner up, it would be Souda’s for a similar reason! His also ties really well to the main story, especially with not being able to finish his FTEs until like after CH4, after he is done doubting Hajime.

V3: I’m stuck between Kiyo and Maki’s. Kiyo’s had more of an impact on me, though, because it flipped my initial suspicion I would hate him. Him being fascinated with anthropology and teaching Shuichi about it made me seriously love him as a character even though I was sure at the time I would hate him since I was spoiled about the incest plot twist. Maki’s was really well explained and tied nicely to the game’s story. She is kinda like Komaeda, in a way, hahaha. She had a tragic backstory because of her talent, been through hell, lost someone very precious to her, and her talent makes her actively try to avoid people and trust them. And, like I said before, I like FTEs that help explain why a character reacts the way they do (although in her case, a small part of her FTEs do land up in the main story, so I say they were slightly less effective, but tied better to the story)

DRAE doesn’t have FTEs, but there are explained backstories of the kids, and I loved Nagisa. His was the most relatable, with all of that pressure to succeed, never feeling good enough.

25. Saddest Death

DR1: 100% Sakura’s!!! She’s a real gem of a character, and I wish Danganronpa had more female characters that were like her! Anyways, she was so interesting, and not just for how she looks or her talent, but that she was the traitor torn by family duty and her loyalty to her friends. She thought that the best way to end this killing game was by sacrificing herself so that the group would not be split. She was so selfless and loved so much, yet she was treated horribly in her last hours because Monokuma made sure to make her as disliked as possible. And then he spits on her death further by stealing her last letter and will so he could use Hina to make the trial more interesting. My heart goes out to her more than anyone in DR1.

DR2: My gut instinct was to say “Komaeda” or “Nanami”, but truth be told, CH2 wrecked me! Peko’s execution really got to me because, firstly, I never suspected her, and secondly, her backstory with Fuyuhiko and the fact she killed and died to save him made the execution 10 times worse to endure! I hadn’t seen her FTE’s all the way through the first time, but I saw most of them and while she hadn’t been a favorite, she had a cute personality! I really did like her!. What made her death worse was Fuyuhiko’s reaction and him trying to intervene. I’m getting shills remembering it ^^;

DRAE: Most probably Taichi! Though it is hard to choose between him and Yuta, Taichi’s was the one that was most tragic, because up to his dying breath he was so excited to be able to have the chance to meet his son again. I mean, even if he did survive, his son would still be dead, but somehow it just felt worse than Yuta’s since we seemed to get to know Taichi better (he worked at Towa for the company, we talked to him more and his love for his son).

V3: Another hard one, and it is between Kaede, Hoshi, and Gonta… I feel like none of these three should have died, or at least for Gonta and Hoshi, not the way that they did. Gonta’s was the one I felt the most emotional over leading up to his death because of the present feeling of how Kokichi betrayed him and the feeling of how it wasn’t even his fault, really. Kaede’s I felt the angriest at because she was 100 times a better protag than Shuichi and I loved her. It doesn’t help that her death was especially tragic and her execution was gruesome (not that Gonta’s wasn’t gruesome, but it was too weird for me to feel much). Hoshi’s I felt the saddest over during the trial because of just how not-fair this was. I don’t even hate Kirumi, I really hate the writers for the trial because of all the pointless and illogical parts of the case and how Hoshi was murdered, but I ranted enough about it.

[feelssogoodinmyarms]

Opinions Needed!!!

Hey guys!! So I’m working on a new fic and I need help. There’s a song called “Son of a Preacher Man” and it was originally sung by Dusty Springfield. A few years ago Tom Goss redid it and donated the proceeds to an LGBT organization. So I’ve become obsessed with the music video (that you can find here) and it really reminded me of Melchior and Moritz. So I started thinking and I kind of hashed out an AU where Melchior is the son of the preacher (even though he hates it and gets into fights with his dad all the time) and some stuff happens. I wrote the first chapter and I don’t really know where to go with it but I wanted some feedback if you’re interested. I haven’t made it exclusively obc or dwsa. It’s set in modern au right now but I can change that. I also wanted to make a prequel eventually with Wendla? I hate her and Melchior together but I think it could be interesting. But right now I’m just focusing on this piece. So please give me your thoughts!! You can message me or leave comments or repost? Idk, just tel me what you think because nobody I know irl is interested in my writing hahaha

Words: 1624

TW: Like two curses I think? Moritz is a little suicidal, Ilse has an abusive home life, internalized homophobia

Moritz Stiefel groaned and rolled out of bed. He hadn’t slept all night. For once, it wasn't because of his “special dreams”. There was homework he had to do, his father was angry at him, the whole weight of the world seemed to rest on his shoulders. He had felt that way most of his life, no matter how much he was told it wasn't true. Moritz was a wreck more often than not. More recently he had started to wonder what the point was. Why did he keep getting up and going to school just to fail at everything? He couldn't do anything right, he heard that a lot from his father and teachers enough. He told it to himself often enough, he didn't need to hear it from them. Thank god for Ilse, she was the only person who emed to care. Ilse was the only person who could convince him he was worth it. For all the shit she had gone through, it was crazy that she stayed so positive. She had to be some kind of angel. He only wished he could do more to help her. Moritz would probably have killed himself by now if it weren't for Ilse.

Today, he had to go to another one of his least-favorite places: church. The older he got the less church made sense. It was just another place that told him how much of a failure he was. He prayed every night, he hoped that life would get better, but it seemed God wasn’t there. It was ridiculous, his dad would probably crucify him if he found out. Church just seemed like another chore.

Moritz looked in the bathroom mirror. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was sticking out at ten different angles. Not much different from his normal demeanor.

“Son!!” Moritz heard his father yell from downstairs.

“Yes?” Moritz answered in a groggy voice

“We’re leaving in 10 minutes!! Look decent!!”

“Yes sir” Moritz responded monotonously.

Moritz’s dad was his least favorite person. Moritz couldn’t help but chuckle every time he thought that. How pathetic was it, to have your own father be the person you hate most? Well Ilse must hate her father after all he did to her, but that was different. Mr. Stiefel was just cruel and reasonable. Moritz always seemed to let his father down no matter how hard he tried. After awhile it was just ridiculous to keep trying. Moritz just tried to steer clear of his dad, the less contact hey had the better.

Moritz checked his phone. Two texts from Ilse and one from Ernst.  

Forest Nymph: it’s a nice morning

Forest Nymph: suns really bright wtf

That was Ilse’s way of checking in with him. If she needed to come stay with him because things got out of hand at home she would just climb in through his window. He kept it unlocked for her. With texts like these she was possibly high or just excited about the day.

Fuzzy Boi: yeah it is

Fuzzy Boi: do you want to meet up later?

The text from Ernst was something different. He and Ernst weren’t really friends, more like acquaintances. Not that Ernst wasn’t nice and all, he just had friends and Moritz had virtually none.

Ernst Robel: Good morning Moritz! What are you doing after church today?

Did Ernst Robel really want to hang out with him, Moritz Stiefel? Moritz was just such a loser in his mind, and Ernst was far cooler. No one at school wanted anything to do with Moritz. He really didn’t blame them, but this was strange. Moritz decided to respond.

Moritz Stiefel: Good morning Ernst. I have some homework to finish but that’s it. Why do you ask?

“Son, five minutes!!” Mr. Stiefel yelled form downstairs.

Shit!! Moritz thought as he hastily threw some clothes on.

Moritz sat in the pews with his parents as he waited for the sermon to start. He wished Ilse still came to church, it would be much more fun with her. Moritz willed himself not to doze off. It hadn’t even started and he was already slipping. Someone walked in that perked him up immediately.

“Welcome to God’s house” The preacher said once he had reached the podium.

“Amen” everyone responded. This was the new preacher, he came in the spring. There was a new preacher this year, as Farther [insert german name] had retired last year. The new preacher invited his wife and son to stand with him at the podium.

“My name is Father Gabor, this is my wife and son. We are very honored to be teaching you of God for the next few months”

Father Gabor continues to go on but Moritz wasn’t listening. He was staring at Father Gabor’s son. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world but here. In fact, he looked so annoyed that he might burst into flames any second. He continually shot his father dirty looks, especially at mentions of god. Moritz wondered why the boy was so angry. Sure, church was boring but it was nothing to get so upset about.

It seemed the anger on his features only made him more handsome. Father Gabor’s son was very handsome, like he was out of a painting or something. Even though he was angry, there was the hint of a smirk on his pink lips. It made Moritz’s heart beat faster than it ever had in church.

After church Moritz found himself walking with Ernst Robel. The two boys were walking back to the Robel house, talking of school and friends and other ordinary things. Moritz tried to focus on what Ernst was saying but he found his mind wandering back to the handsome preacher’s son.

Moritz wished he had gotten to speak to him after the service. The Gabors were talking to various adults and introducing themselves. Father Gabor’s son shook hands with everyone but did not smile. It made him all the more mysterious.

“Moritz? Moritz are you alright?” Ernst asked.

Shit, I zoned out

“Uhm, yeah I’m fine. I was just thinking”

“Was it about the preacher’s son?”

Moritz began coughing.

“H-How did you know?” Moritz asked in disbelief. Ernst giggled.

“I saw you looking at him during the service. He’s pretty cute, I don’t blame you” Moritz felt a blush creep up his neck.

“Why did you want to see me anyway?” Moritz asked.

“A few reasons. Firstly, I noticed you sitting alone at lunch”

Moritz couldn’t help but scoff.

“What?”

“Oh it’s just I’ve been sitting alone ever since I moved here last year. I don’t know why you care all of the sudden”

Ernst looked heart broken. Moritz almost felt bad for him.

“I, uh, guess I didn’t realize until now. How lonely you are I mean” Ernst stared at his shoes as they walked.

“Um, why else?” Moritz asked, desperate to change the subject.

“I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me sometime. You don’t have to, it’s just an offer”

“Sure” Moritz responded. This made no sense but if Ernst wanted to be friends, why not?

“Great!! This is my house, I know you had homework to do”

“Right, homework. I guess I’ll see you?”

“Yeah, see you!” Ernst hugged Moritz quickly before running into his house.

Moritz broke into a sprint as he left the town behind. He let his jacket fall off behind him as he entered the forest. He was going to Ilse and his place in the forest to meet. Since the boys and girls went to different schools he only saw her on the weekends. Going to the forest with her was a total escape from everything. Not a total escape, but still an escape, Moritz kept running until he got to the clearing with the stream and the tall tree where he and Ilse always talked.

There she was, right on queue. She was sitting in their tree, staring off in the distance like a forest nymph.

“Ilse!!” He called up. She looked down and smiled when she saw him. She swung down to greet him with a hug. When she pulled away he saw her eyes were puffy.

“Hey, were you crying?” he asked.

“I had a rough morning” she said, trying her best to be chipper.

“What happened?”

“I woke up at four am to screaming coming from downstairs. I just ran and ended up sleeping here”

“In the forest? Why didn’t you come to my place?”

“I didn’t want to wake you up”

“I was up all night, I didn’t sleep. You should have come. You worry me with that shit”

“Next time. Sorry”

“Nah, don’t be”

The two say at the edge of the river and talked.

“So there was a new preacher to church today” Moritz started. 

“Yeah? Is he hot?”

“No but his son is” Moritz blurted out and immediately regretted it. Ilse started laughing. 

“Really? What’s his name?”

“I don’t know” Moritz felt the blush coming back. 

“I ship it!! You should ask him out!!” Ilse squealed. 

“I can’t do that!” Moritz hid his face in his hands. 

“Aww you love him!!”

“Ilse!!” Ilse giggled again.

“It’s cute. I thank you guys would be cute together” 

“I’d just… hate to see how my dad would react” Moritz said with dread. 

“To the fact that you like boys?” Moritz cringed.

“Yeah”

“Who gives a rat’s ass? If he’s not gonna be supportive then screw him. You deserve better”Moritz smiled. 

“Thanks Ilse”

“Don’t mention it”

“You wanna grab lunch?”

“I don’t have any money”

“Pshh, I’m paying” Ilse grinned at that. 

“If you insist” Ilse said as the two walked out of the forest.