#I told my friend I was jealous that she and mom got to get themselves a game they really wanted

[haru-chi]

If you have a friend that treasure and treat your mom as if she's her own mother then treasure them 🩵

My mom asked me to check if my friend have any new games she can borrow to play but my friend gavs what she had to her other friend .. but then she asked what game my mom wanted since she might go and buy it for her if she can ... I said the resident evil 4 remake since mom was dying to get it, it's her best video game ever and I was planning to buy it and gifted to her myself but was too poor to do it 💔

And my friend ended up buying it saying "I was gonna buy it for myself anyway so don't worry your mom can play it first since I'm busy to even play" so that my mom or me don't feel any guilt that she ended up buying it for mom 💕

So right now my mom is too happy and excited while playing it 😂🩵

[bengiyo]

Wandee Goodday Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we got to see Dee and Yak getting mutual pleasure from their current arrangement before Wandee got embarrassed at work and decided to lie and say he had a new boyfriend. Dee asked Yak to be his fake boyfriend, but Yak refused on the grounds that they agreed to not get involved in each other's personal lives and also he didn't want to come out as a boxer. Dee ignored this resistance and then tried to trick Yak into spending time with him to get him to agree. Yak, ever the simp, acquiesced after Dee showed vulnerability. Also, we got more insight into Oyei and Cher, learning that Oyei took on debt during COVID, and Cher comes from a wealthy family. The two are a team and I love them.

Whoa are we opening on a nightmare memory?

Okay, I like this moment. If they're going to be friends with benefits, this is definitely a moment when Yak needed a friend.

Drake's tiddies is out. A gift for me and @happypotato48 and @yankeebastard who is here saying "Hey, Daddy."

Yes, Kao, ask that man direct questions. Now, throw Ter into the pool.

Poor Kwan. Ter seems more concerned with Dee than her.

NOT ROOM 666!!! THE DEVIL! This show said "Don't feel sorry for him. Even the Devil can feel a little bad when he got kicked out of heaven."

This show is so good. We cut beautifully to Yoryak enjoying the same offering Dee had given The Devil.

Very invested in these two talking about their crushes between their own tussles.

We got a new sign! "Be Available But Not For Everyone."

Be careful, Dee. Don't fall in love after telling him to practice confessing.

Interesting. I think Cher knows that Yak has plans beyond boxing and this gym. @yankeebastard thinks it might be a promise Yak made to his mom.

Cher is so gentle and careful with Yak. He lets Yak tell him what he needs to say with such sensitive prodding.

Not Yak getting horny listening to Dee exert himself and remembering their hookups.

The editors are doing a great job with the audio cues this week.

Wow, Taem is clearly a leader of Team Tote Bag.

Hold your ankles? Definitely not the first time Yak has been told that, among other things, I'm sure.

Dee, you gotta sort yourself when it comes to Yak.

I love that Oyei is always trying to get Cher in the shower with him.

Kao jumped up quick at the tea, and is so real for wanting to choke Dee out.

Keeping track of these two almost forgetting themselves and kissing. Excellent gay content.

The Devil is back and he is jealous. I hate this man. He meant it before when he said he didn't like men or Dee. Fuck this guy.

The whole gym is judging them and I love it.

Why wear your gym shirts if you don't want to be seen?

Oyei and Cher judging them together is so important to me.

Very smooth of Cher to just talk them out of the conversation about the parents.

David was correct about the mom.

Yes, scratch his back. I love the use of metaphor on this show.

Poor Kwan. I'm glad she can see through Ter.

I love Kao. Tell your friend is he embarrassing both of you.

Kao said try out my new line of products

Yoryak thought he was outside of the MySpace top 8 and got his feelings hurt.

I really liked the way they handled this HPV PSA. Good job, BL.

That was a solid episode. I like that they're tackling the blurring of the lines in the relationship explicitly, and I like that Dee recognizes that he's jealous. It's interesting having The Devil call out the relationship as fake and be right and wrong. I wanna think about the parents for a bit, because Cher checking that Oyei was okay with Yoryak felt pointed.

[venuscnjunctpluto]

Astro pt. 5

(I think it’s part 5😭)

* As a Venus conjunct pluto, Im so jealous of my cousins w Venus trine Pluto. They can easily become popular and have women drawn to them without as much drama.

*gemini rising babies are so much fun they smile so much as babies (shoutout to my niece and little cousin🥰)

* i have sun conjunct Neptune and people have compared me to a fairy

*cardi b has venus in the 8th (and a Scorpio venus i think) and she paid to get two strippers offset cheated w beat up. Scorpionic women + cheaters are a baddd combination.

*gwenyth Paltrow recently got body shamed and told to eat but shes also has a Pisces rising. They usually are very thin or have fragile looking bodies

*first house is also personality and my experience w Pluto in 1st people they are very very dominant. They’re friends follow them around, they’re used to getting their way, they have eyes on them at all times which can give them bad anxiety.

*Mars in the 2nd house men have some niceeeeeee voices like they’re so deep you can pick their voice out in a crowd

*I’ve seen Chiron in 11th be bullied as kids and grow up and become bullies. Also they might have a traumatic relationship with being in front of a camera. (Avoiding recording themselves or taking pictures)

*Virgo risings have some cool moms (sag in 4th)

*also Aries in 11th can get told they do too much on social media (posting too much or over sharing)

* I notice famous women who people claim are everywhere (basically overexposed) or in too many roles for actresses usually are Lilith dominant. (Ex: Jennifer Lawrence, GiGi Hadid, Megan thee stallion, Anne Hathaway) are they overexposed or are y’all just jealous?😭

*venus in the 1st can lead to jealousy it’s not always love and admiration. For ex: my friend saw this guy around our dorm and thought he was cute so she followed him on ig. Mind you a lot of girls in our dorm thought he was attractive (he had pluto in 1st) and many talked about him😭 well my friend saw his gf on his page and obviously left it alone but his gf picked her out of all the girls who lusted after him to be threatened by. Well his gf was an early degree cancer Venus and my friend has a Gemini Venus at 19 degrees so her Venus was in my friends 1h. She was clearly bothered by my friend specifically following him because she found her to be attractive.

*Three girls who talked about me behind my back and tried to bully me all had Aries venuses. One had my rising conjunct her Venus exactly.

*ONCE again mercury pluto are liars idk if it’s because they think they can get away w it or what but Sza has a conjunction and my good sis lies for no reason

*aqua Venus women are usually bisexual or lesbians

*Doja cat is a good example of Uranus-asc. I have a tight orb sextile and I’ve worn adventure time doc martens, strawberry earrings, bright orange hair. Think of Harper from wizards of waverly place.

*a good song for that aspect is “Secrets” by Mary Lambert. “I rock mom jeans, cat earrings, extrapolate my feelings”😮‍💨

*sun conjunct asc could make someone resemble their father or act just like their dad and I think Doja does resemble her father a lot

* also she has Saturn in 5th and her father was an actor/performer. Also she complained about working too much and many people w this aspect feel like the fun is delayed and comes after work or they very strict on themselves in fun environments. Let loose yall💕💕

* my favorite mercury sign is Taurus😭 they have beautiful voices but the way the cuss people out is so iconic to me (ex: azealia banks)

*it’s messy to bring him up after doja but idgaf😭 Joseph Quinn has mars conjunct Uranus. A lot of eddie munson’s mannerisms were erratic and I think mar-Uranus plus his aqua placements made eddie so great at the role.

*also I notice a lot of heartthrobs or men twitter went crazy for at some point have aqua placements (timothee chalamet, Harry styles, Justin Bieber, Joseph Quinn, Noah centineo, Pedro pascal) it’s opposite of Leo so I think people keep forgetting the attention magnet can go for aquas too esp online.

*since i mentioned the show another example of Venus-Neptune synastry could be Mason and Alex. All the art references, him hiding what he really was until he couldn’t, and the fears of cheating and deceit.

*a mix of Virgo, libra, and Leo can make someone the person who tries to help everyone. They will bring you food if you haven’t eaten and also lecture you but it’s coming from a good place. I think people forget how sweet Leo placements can be (ex: Bella hadid for someone who grew up w money she’s very humble and you can see this in multiple instances. For example sza thanked her for helping fix her hair at the met gala)

* she also have Venus conjunct ascendant which I think makes someone’s Venus traits stand out. I’ve noticed people w Venus square their ascendant don’t really openly express love for people and can even get called “cold” esp by family members.

*She also has Saturn in the 7th which could mean dating older partners or partners w cap placements. The Weeknd was older than her and he has a cap Venus + mars.

*certain placements can get away w a lot. Chris brown has a history of abuse yet women seem to still support him (moon conjunct Venus). He also has mars opposite Uranus which is a temper problem indicator

* fixed risings 🤝 pixie cuts/bobs (ex: Marilyn Monroe, Halle Berry, Zendaya, demi Lovato)

[sliipppy]

Self Indulgent Young Justice/Teen Titans 2003 Relationship and Sexuality Headcanons

Cassie and Kon convince themselves they like each other in Young Justice because they're both gay and closeted. They do love each other, but not romantically. They confuse that for attraction. Plus, I think Cassie is a lesbian stereotype, and Kon is like a gay man stereotype, so it makes sense that the two would go for each other. When they finally get together, they don't kiss because they tell their friends its cause "they both wanna take things slow". Sometimes they'll hold hands (scandalous)

Meanwhile, Cassie is like madly in love with Cissie but doesn't realize it because that's just how best friends are. Plus, she has the whole 'crush on Kon' thing going. I know everyone and their mom loves TimKon, and don't get me wrong, so do I! But in Young Justice, Tim and Kon are constantly butting heads. I don't think Kon starts liking Tim like that until the end of young justice, and he starts to like REALLY like him during Teen Titans.

Cissie and Anita kissed once at a sleepover but never told anyone. Young Justice for Cissie is like a crush fest. She's a bisexual icon, and she's had a crush on every single member of the team at some point (but her most serious ones were Cassie and Anita). She kissed Tim on the cheek in that one panel. She had a crush on Kon in the beginning, and I like to think she had a small crush in Bart but got over it pretty fast, because I've always saw Bart and Cissie as like brother and sister kinda lol (I always think of the panel where she comforts him about Max during the intergalactic baseball arc.)

Cissie can't decide whether she likes Anita or Cassie more and she also can't really come to terms with the fact that she might like girls.

Anita was basically always solid in the fact that she's bisexual. While the kiss with Cissie definitely awakened something in Cissie, Anita was like, "That was nice, but I think we're better as friends." She dates Slobo but doesn't really like him like him, but she thinks he's endearing, so the two are just a generic silly freshman year couple. Yeah, they won't last, but it's cute while it lasts, and they'll be friends when it ends. Anita's dad is super chill and had some "if you're gay I'll till love you the same." talk with her after he saw her concerning obsession with Diana Ross.

Greta hated Stephanie at first because she had a one-sided crush on Tim and was jealous of Stephanie because of it, but she gets over it and develops a crush on Stephanie. (This is canon, trust me. This is my craziest pair, I think, but trust me on one-sided GretaSteph)

Teen Titans era – later teens, Cassie and Kon are on and off dating. Kon and Tim start to get closer. They like eachother. It's so obvious to everyone else. Kory and Donna think it's cute. Cassie meanwhile, still madly in love with Cissie, beings her toxic doomed yuri arc with Rose Wilson. Rose is her official gay awakening. Her and Rose have the most tragic situationship of all time for like a year.

Okay skip forward to the sadness. Kon dies, leaving Cassie and Tim more confused and sad then ever. Cassie loved Kon, really loved Kon, but not in that way, which makes her feel even more guilty about his death because she felt that she was lying to him while he was alive and she still didn't understand her feelings. Tim on the other hand is going FUCKING crazy. He just lost Steph, then his dad, and now Kon and he's not understand ANYTHINGGG!!! Bro tries to clone Kon and when Cassies like "bro what the hell are you doing?!" It causes like this falling out between the two despite the fact that Cassie and Tim were literally bestie because they both loved Kon so much in such different ways and had all this pent up confusion...and then we get to the infamous panel where they make out while crying. In their shared grief and confusion in their own emotions they kiss. It's weird and both of them literally hate it because they literally are like siblings to eachother also she's a lesbian and Tim just lost like 3 of his actual lovers in the span of a year (Steph, Darla, and Kon) so it was weird and fucked up but they were weird and fucked up.

Skip forward, and Kon comes back to life. Everything's happy! Yay! Kon and Cassie have a heart-to-heart and breakup because they're both gay. Cassie asks Cissie out. Tim comes out as bi and dates Bernard. Kon is like, "omg I have a chance," but it is also sad because like Tim has a boyfriend that isn't him. Stephanie is like "no bro he totally likes you" Eventually, they break up. Idk why bro. (I'm not really a Bernard fan, sorry, remember the self-indulgent in the title?) and Steph convinces Kon to ask him out (I love thar after Urban Legends Stephanie and Kon are like, best friends) and BOOM timkon. Everyone is happy. Happily ever after.

And rip Greta and Anita, we haven't seen you in forever miss you queens 🙏🙏🙏

[rengokuology]

I would love to see a lexi x fem reader from euphoria, maybe reader is like nates younger sister but she is the sweetest and kindest person, so lexi and reader both have a crush on each other and so maybe cassie and maddie try to get them to admit their feelings and somehow they do, so it's pure fluff with lexi and reader sharing a kiss at the end, something like that, and then them being in a romantic relationship

PLAY PRODUCTIONS. . .

LEXI HOWARD x NATE’S SISTER! READER

WARNINGS !! nate jacobs, lots of sweet—tooth fluff! so yeah—

DEAR REQUESTER, thank you so much for being my first ever requester! this is my first time writing x reader so i hope you like it! if you don’t like it, you can send back in another request and i can write another one for you! enjoy your time reading!! <3 /p

it's funny, you know? how such an asshole like nate jacobs can be related to such a sweet angel like (reader) jacobs.

i mean, that's what mostly anybody sane thought. people like lexi, rue and more.

but there were also douchebags who would try and say she was like him. but she was never.

nate jacobs never helped his friends to classes. never tried to be as respectful as possible. nope, that was all her.

that's what lexi thought every time she saw her with nate, and it would be common that she held an intense glare at him for being such an ass.

but that would go away when she always approached lexi, always being happy to see her friend / crush by their lockers that were across from cassie and maddy's.

you two had such a beautiful chemistry that maddy and nate were never going to have and so, maddy and cassie noticed.

"oh my god, they're fucking whipped for each other." maddy claimed, looking at the two of them that were laughing while they shared each other memes they found the night before.

"yeah, they are." cassie smiled at them, slightly jealous that she didn't have a relationship like that. but she was proud of her sister for having something she didn't. a healthy crush.

maddy turned to cassie, closing her locker as she pointed at the two.

"if we don't get them together, somebody's gonna steal one of them. and they probably need to be together." cassie lifted a brow at maddy, glancing at the two before turning back to maddy.

"i don't know. they can get together by themselves, plus, we shouldn't intrude on their love lives." cassie told maddy, as maddy crossed her arms, lightly laughing sarcastically.

"well, last night, i saw little angel with one of nate's friends at their house. we don't want that because that dude is lowkey a dick and doesn't deserve someone like (reader). plus, we wouldn’t be really do much, just give them a little push." maddy told cassie, grabbing out her phone and showing the guy she's been seeing.

cassie looked at the photo before looking back at the two then back at maddy.

"ok, let's do it."

lexi and (reader) sat at their desks in history class as (reader) lightly scrolled through her phone in secret while glancing at the teacher.

hey

(reader) smiled, looking across the room to lexi's chair as lexi smiled at her phone, glancing at their teacher as well.

hi!

we still hanging out at my place tonight?

sorry, i can't tonight. aaron just told me my parents got into a fight so i gotta help my mom

sorry about that

its fine, it happens

still tho, ur parents are kinda dicks

yeah, kinda but their still my parents, so yeah

(reader) frowned at her phone, thinking of what words to type next.

sorry i can't spend the night at your place again

its ok! your busy, i get it

still sucks tho-

yeah

(reader) put her phone away, slipping it into their hoodie pocket as lexi shut off her phone as well, kind of frowning as cassie looked at the two, finally finding something cassie and maddy could do to get them together.

next class, maddy and (reader) sat next to each other in science class, (reader) zoning out through half of it, bored.

(reader) felt a buzz in her pocket, taking it out slowly to see a text from maddy.

hey

(reader) glanced at maddy confused, as the two didn't really interact and would only contact each other if there was an emergency.

hi, u ok?

yeah, u going to lexi's tonight

nah and how do u know about that

cassie but who cares about that rn, why aren't u going

my parents got into a fight, gonna take care of my mom and make sure she doesn’t get wine drunk

who cares?

i do. it’s my mom, i need to take care of her

but do u want to?

. . .

how about u come over to their home and relax a bit, cassie says she misses you and plus, i’m gonna there, i’ll make up an excuse for u

she does?

yep

i guess i’ll go then

cool, see u later then

yep

(reader) smiled lightly, closing maddy’s contact and opening lexi’s

i’m actually coming over tonight

cool! see u

yep!

lexi’s mood lifted, putting her phone away as she was happy that she got to spend time with her and finally!

the two weren’t able to spend time after school because of her parents getting into fights constantly for the past month, which sucked because that was the time where they were able to spend most of their time together.

but because maddy persuaded her, she was finally able to go now that she had an excuse. which made the two lovebirds happy.

so. . . maddy wasn’t there, same with cassie. they both lied.

but the two teenagers could care less as (reader) sat at the edge of lexi’s bed in silence, playing truth or dare.

“truth or dare.” “truth.”

“is it true that jules and rue are dating?” (reader) questioned lexi, resting her head on top of her knees, rocking back and forth, bored as a movie played in the background.

“i. . . actually don’t know.” “yeah? hm.”

“they definitely have some type of. . . tension though.” (reader) said, throwing her head back to the bed post as lexi nodded, agreeing with her as she typed on her computer.

“what are you writing anyway? just asking.” (reader) asked, picking at her painted finger nails.

“i’m trying to write a play.” “ooooo! what’s it about?” (reader) questioned, her interest being picked up as she raised her head.

“about our lives, my life, just what happens in this high school.” lexi explained, smiling at (reader)‘s sudden interested and smile.

“can i take a look? just for a second?” lexi nodded at her as she scooted herself closer to lexi, looking at her computer as lexi lightly scrolled through the plot she had.

the plot described the people, ranging from jade, hallie, marta, luna and angela. the plot focused one part on angela, the main character telling the audience that she liked angela, having a deep crush on her despite not confessing to not ruin the friendship she loved.

considering the play was about the lives in their high school, she assumed the main character was lexi as (reader) let out a ‘oooo’ in interest.

“who’s the lucky girl then?” (reader) turned to lexi, interested. lexi looked at her, hesitation rising in her as (reader) waited for a response.

“um. . . it’s you, (reader).” lexi confessed, staring at her with a slight blush on her cheeks while (reader) was frozen in place. not because she was mad but because she was shocked that her crush liked her back too.

“w—wait, really?” (reader) questioned, trying to make sure that she heard lexi correctly.

“yeah, i’ve liked you for a while now.” (reader) suddenly let a smile come onto her face, smiling the hardest to the point her cheeks hurt from the pressure.

“can i kiss you?. . . if your ok with it?” (reader) asked lexi as she nodded, moving closer to lexi, kissing her lightly on the lips.

the two separated from the kiss, lexi still having that blush on her cheeks as (reader) smiled at her, now holding her hand.

“this might be a dumb question because we probably are but can i be your girlfriend? if your comfortable with it, i don’t wanna—“

“i’d love that.” lexi interrupted her question as she smiled, clapping her fingers a little, happy.

“thank you.” (reader) thanked as lexi nodded, holding her hand still.

“can i help you with your play?” (reader) asked lexi as she nodded again, (reader) now laying on lexi’s side as she typed on her computer.

and for the rest of the night, they spent their time writing the play during their first night as girlfriends.

————

AUTHORS NOTE, sorry if this kinda sucked! i’m still getting used to writing x reader since i mainly write x oc on wattpad a lot so yeah, sorry if this wasn’t good, i hope you enjoyed tho and have a good day!

[dumblittleboy19]

STORY TIME:

So I’ve never gotten personal on here much. You can call me Addie! If you’ve been on the abdl side of tumbler for 10+ years, I was the male half of ThatOddCouple. We obviously went our separate ways but still keep in touch!

I’ve been into ABDL well before I knew there was even a term for it. If I had to put a number to it, I was probably 10 or 11 when I started to notice I was …..interested in wearing diapers. But there’s a little more to it.

I grew up in a cul du sac with my older sister by 4 years and a bunch of kids slightly older than me. Only thing was that up until I was 10, I was the only boy among the group. And the youngest. And I was “forced” to be walked up and down and all over the cul du sac in their little strollers that their mom would let them use to play “house”. It happened a lot. And it got to the point that I would get jealous when they used the other girl close to my age to be the “baby”. I loved the attention.

At the same time, my mom had a childhood best friend that lived a neighborhood away from us with a son and daughter that were me and my sisters age. I’d sleep over there basically once a week minimum and they would sleep at my house. From toddlers up until middle school I did this. Apparently the son was a chronic bedwetter at night and to make him feel comfortable, she would make us both wear diapers. And she would put each of us in them herself before we got comfy to watch a movie or play video games. I remember sitting in the backseat of the car on the way home the next day and hearing my parents argue about how it was “weird” she did this to her son and me for so long. I LONGED for those sleepovers.

I know both of those stories sound like bullshit. They are real. The other side of this, the side people don’t talk about much, is the negative aspects of their kink. When my parents found out what I was looking at online and how active I was on the DailyDiapers forums (real ones know what’s up) that started an almost decades long cycle of being shoved into different therapists offices to be “fixed”. And whenever a therapist told them I was perfectly fine and not harming anyone, I was accused of lying to my therapists to get on their good side and sent to a new one. It was like this until the day I moved out at 26. To the point where I had to make up a reason WHY I was going to therapy to my vanilla friends and girlfriends.

I spent a lot of my life trying to separate the “vanilla me” and this side of me and in the past 5 or 6 years I’ve just embraced it more. I still keep things separate for the most part, but my closest friends know. I’ve had long term relationships with Mommies and I LOVE a FLR 😍

Always dreamed of having my own place to be little whenever I want and throw abdl parties and sleepovers and have a whole bunch of IRL abdl friends. I’d daydream about having that freedom constantly.

And now I’m doing just that. I host a month abdl banger in south jersey once a month. I’ve made so many friends in the New Jersey/Philly area and they are all such talented and amazing people. We’ve worked really hard this past year and the community we have built is SO amazing. I have become the safe house for people to come and feel like they can be themselves and be little (or be a mommy/daddy. Whatever you fancy). I’ve had people say to me that my house was the first time anybody else has even seen them in their full ABDL gear, let alone compliment them and call them cute and make them feel small.

I love this community and I wanna see it grow more and more. And if you are in the area and you think you’re alone, you’re not. Reach out and let’s be friends.

Well that’s my super long winded post! Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far lmao.

That last pic I salvaged from the old ThatOddCouple tumblr page! I can’t believe I found it. If anybody has any other pictures from that page PLEASE share them with me.

[supersoftly]

When people talk about how boys are raised to be ashamed of their maleness, and girls are raised to be ashamed of their femininity, what are they referring to? I don't completely understand.

Eh, I think it's different for everyone because of who you're exposed to. There's always minor shaming just cuz of you're born, whether it's a bully at school or even one's own parents, lots of people will just say things in passing without thinking about it and exhaust the notion that you simply would be better (or worse) if you were a particular gender. I'm not sure about specifics since shame can take a lot of forms and I'm sure I've only heard a handful of stories from my male and female peers that only reveal the tip of the iceberg. One of my best friends growing up constantly got berated from her own mom for wearing anything remotely "revealing", but she got DDs by 6th grade and how is a girl supposed to comprehend that she should be ashamed of her body all of a sudden, much less from her own mother who was a drunk and an abusive jealous parent? Another time one of my male coworkers got singled out and disiplined by his female boss one time just cuz he talked "too loud" (I yelled shit all the time being BoH, same as him), and that he should understand his presence as a man has a more threatening demeanor, all the while withholding his paycheck after hours. And being the more sensitive and compassionate soul, he cried about it afterwards because shit like that makes you reflect on yourself "what did I actually do wrong?"

These are just anecdotal experiences from people who confided in me as a friend, I'm sure there's other specific incidents outside of my circle that people haven't even told anyone because half of the time, it gets fucking internalized like "yes, you're right, you should be ashamed for being born that way" and then they just go about life believing they're broken, never addressing it and wondering why they're so miserable. (If anyone wants to add their own experiences feel free to, I just was thinking of stuff off the top of my head)

Tldr: it's people (mostly adults) saying and doing shit that encourages other people to inherently hate themselves or their bodies based on their gender, that's it. It can be literally anything and everything, all you have to do is associate something bad with a gender and BAM.

That dumb man vs bear debate really elucidated this point btw, read some of the more vile responses and at their core, the argument is just men are born monsters and women are born to be afraid of monsters ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[sanchoyo]

Hello there friend...I'm silly tired and it's the middle of the night so this might not be coherent but I saw ur tags on that religion vs non post. Just wanted to say I know where ur coming from. I'm sorry that happened to u, that was a terribly presumptuous and unhelpful thing for them to do. I went thru something similar when my cat died, just to a lesser extent. I was told, in a well meaning comforting way, that she wouldn't suffer anymore, and my bitter grief stricken response was "she doesn't EXIST anymore. She's gone forever" bc I don't believe in the afterlife either.

OHHH sending u love for this <33 I was half awake and mad abt it but honestly its been like 2 months and im Fine with it now. (well maybe not FINE. still angry but it doesn't feel RAW anymore, like I can talk about it now) what's kind of funny is, I normally do like to talk about religion and the subject of an afterlife! it's something me and my sister have talked about a lot (not entirely sure what label she'd use now, but she used to be really into witchy stuff, so spiritual/religious topics would be fun to discuss between us, I am still spiritual in...weird ways...) it's just. there's a time and a place!! when he is dying and I am grieving is NOT the time or place!!!

It's so annoying when people around here assume I MUST be some flavor of christian because we're in the bible belt. like it doesn't even occur to them that I might not be. I have had people talk to me at previous jobs about how much jesus loves me and how he'll make things go well for me, and during those times I just kind of smiled and nodded along (I have to assume they want to tell me, specifically, these things because they see the Blue Hair and Pronouns vibes and feel...compelled...?? which like. lol???) like my mom took me being gay super well, much better than me telling her I wasn't a christian!! she CRIED over that!! and that didn't bother me so much because it's about me, right? and I don't care what happens to me after I die. it comes up a lot, where I am. people are fanatic about it, so I'm used to it.

but when it was about my precious dog, that really got me...the way those vets handled it was the only time I've been actively so annoyed and upset by it. the fact his pawprint came embedded in a little booklet thing that had a whole long ramble about how he's so happy and waiting for me to arrive REALLY upset me.

I totally get how 'she won't suffer anymore' could have set off the same thing, ugh, my heart goes out to you for that. funnily enough that was the only little phrase that DID bring me comfort. because my boy was suffering a lot his last few weeks, and not existing...put a stop to that pain. but it also put a stop to everything good, right? which sucks. like obviously I would have preferred him being ALIVE and not suffering, but that wasn't possible, so...that felt better than 'you'll see him again in heaven/he'll get to see jesus/rainbow road' stuff, in a way, for me. I just..knew it was his time and it would have been irresponsible and selfish for me to let him go slow and painfully.

it's just like...different things help different people. maybe the idea that dogs go to heaven helped the vets, as many animals as they likely put down, it makes it easier for them, I assume. and I'm glad if they had something like that to comfort them. I'm kind of jealous of it, honestly. I honestly want to give them a bit of grace for it, they were otherwise very kind and handled things well...

But they weren't the ones losing a best friend so they shouldn't have said it out loud. They can comfort themselves with that in their minds and keep things non-religious with clients. a very bitter and still-angry part of me wants to write the owner of that place a letter chewing them out for it. I won't but-- the idea of it makes me feel a little better lol. mentally being a karen and having a big dramatic fit in my brain only is very cathartic.

(I'm also open to the idea of reincarnation in some way, and I DO hope I can meet him again, somehow...it's just really really hard for me to imagine a christian 'heaven' scenario, lmao) I've been lucky enough to see him again in my dreams though, (those do still make me cry when I wake up and realize it wasn't real aaa ;_; ) and i'm lucky to have a lot of pictures and videos of him, as long as I'm alive he'll be alive in a sense, in my memories, and that's a lot of comfort. I can still speak fondly of him and see him in those ways, even if I'll never be able to really be with him again, never hold him again or play with him again. and I got 15 years with him, which I try to be grateful for. I tried my best to give him the best life I could. And I'll always have so many fond memories and so much love for him, and I'm sure the same goes for your kitty. <3

silly boy in his silly little hut ☝

[invisibleraven]

“I have cake in my eyes.” “Yeah, and I have cake down my shirt!” “Then just take off your shirt.” feels very Willex to me

Willie normally loved parties, but this was just not one he wanted to attend. Unfortunately building international relations was important, thus instead of relaxing in his bedroom back in DC, here he was in Buckingham Palace, observing the hoy piloi and wondering how long it would be until they cut the obscenely large cake.

Seriously, who needed a cake bigger than an average human being for a wedding? He bet it would be dry and full of like custard or coconut. Ew.

The other reason he didn't want to be here was standing across the room in a morning coat, complete with frigging tails and enough badges and sashes to make a beauty queen jealous. Prince Alex, second in line to the British Crown, and Willie's sworn enemy.

Was it petty to declare someone your enemy over a stupid disagreement at a youth summit three years ago? Sure. Did Willie care? Not in the least. But he had promised Caleb he'd be nice, thus avoiding Alex like the plague.

That unfortunately meant he was stuck by the sidelines, as it was kind of hard to avoid the brother of the bride even in a space this large. Hearing the whispers about Olivia's choice of groom, feeling the side long glances that shot his way. Trying not to flinch when they called him 'tramp' and Caleb worse.

Look, he knew he wasn't Caleb's biological son, but that man loved him more than anything, taking him from the group home when he was very young. Told WIllie he was done waiting for the right guy to make a family with. He'd asked his friend Clementine to help make a baby, but she wasn't able to donate the eggs thanks to complications, Delilah was trans, and Caleb didn't want to have a baby that some errant mom could try and take. So adoption it was.

The road from owning a dinner theatre in LA to residing in the White House had been an interesting one, but Willie got right out there and supported Caleb, picketing for votes right from the outset. Sure he had no interest in politics himself, preferring art and skateboarding, but he was always willing to help out his dad.

So those disparaging comments always stung, and he was never in a position to clap back. Just clenched his fists and blew out a breath, reminding himself he was not only representing his family, but his country itself.

"Okay there Covington?"

Willie turned and there was Alex, smirking at him and nodding to his fists. He shook out his hands. "Fine."

"It all getting to you?" Alex asked, surveying the room.

"It's not all bad, food is dec," Willie replied. He had been gorging himself on all the passing trays of appetizers, and figured that this was their meal. He'd rather sit down and eat at a table, but hey, if this was how the rich did it... "Waiting on cake." He nodded to the table they had found themselves next to on their turn of the room.

"Only the top and bottom are real," Alex whispered. "Rest is all styrofoam. I think Livvie has some sort of pudding ready to serve."

"Like chocolate or full of fruit and nuts?"

"The latter," Alex confirmed.

"Ew."

Whatever Alex was going to say to that was lost as a drunk duke or lord stumbled into them, pushing them down. Willie tried to catch himself, but he just managed to catch the edge of the tablecloth instead, pulling all seven tiers of buttercream monstrosity down on top of them.

He and Alex sat there for a moment, stunned, and Alex winced. "I have cake in my eyes."

“Yeah, and I have cake down my shirt!” Willie retorted, scooping a glob of frosting from his face. Eugh, it tasted rancid and overly fake. Probably a good thing he didn't eat any of it.

“Then just take off your shirt," Alex replied. "Seen you do it often enough."

Willie grumbled. "You do one topless photoshoot for Rolling Stone and it's all people see."

"I didn't say it wasn't a good shoot," Alex replied, blushing. Then swore as he saw guards and one very irate looking bride thundering towards them. "Shit, we gotta go before we end up in the Tower, or worse."

Willie found himself pulled up (wow, Alex was IstrongI, must be all the polo) and pulled through the palace, giggling as he saw the dumbfounded faces they passed by. Collapsing in a simple looking bedroom covered in posters of rock stars and pictures of friends. Plus a very happy looking beagle who came and tried to lick them clean.

"Shoo David!" Alex said, stripping off his coat. He then looked at Willie. "I'll get you some clean clothes, you can take the first shower."

"David, really?" Willie asked, scratching behind the dog's ears.

"After Bowie," Alex replied, handing him some comfy sweats and a pale pink shirt.

Later that day, still hiding out in Alex's bedroom, Willie couldn't say they were still sworn enemies. What they were was to be determined, but his kiss swollen lips and new contact info on his phone made him think the future of inter country relations looked pretty promising.

[i-love-dopamine]

Fuck guys help me. My friend, we'll call her k, has been acting really weird lately. One of my other friends called me on the verge of tears bc she was being really mean and weird. I was at the roller rink and some girl complemented my hair and i fell bc im weak and i told k about it and she went into a 10 minute rant about how she hopes that girl would kill herself, which is relatively normal for her, but i was confused about why k was so mad at the girl. I asked k why she was so mad and this is what our chats look like directly quoted (no pics bc Snapchats a snitch)

Me: why are you so mad about it tho?

K: idk

K: i just don't like girls who say your hair is nice

K: like NO MY HAIR IS TERRIBLE

K: NOT THAT UR HAIR IS TERRIBLE

K: its hard to explain

And then i was really worried bc that was really weird and out of character for her so then this happened

Me: i can't tell if your mad i got hurt or mad that she was flirting with me

K: what do you think?

Me: i dunno

K: sucks for you

Then she started threatening violence again

K: i hope she kills herself

Me: dude

K: i hope she falls off a cliff and doesn't completely die and then i truck runs her over and she bleeds to death

Me: please tell me whats going on

Me: im worried

And then i went to the bathroom and called her to make sure shes ok and she was not taking it seriously. I kept asking her to take it seriously and listen to me and she started ranting about the dnf fanfic shes gonna write. I was absolutely terrified because she has a history of SH and she acts weird right before relapses. Now I don't know whats going on bc we joke flirt all the time and she always says after that shes joking and she'd rather be straight (it might be straight idk she acts pretty eggish and im a trans dude(she doesn't know that tho)) but she also gets really jealous when i text other people or when i tell her about any celebrity crushes i have and she has said "stop texting (name) and talk to me 😡 ur mine 😡😡" and i always just ignore it or flirt back but im starting to worry shes actually caught feelings for me. She has a huge dating history and has dated nearly everyone in her grade and a few in mine and when i talk to her exes (excluding the ones shes still friends with) she gets REALLY mad. Fuck guys im scared last time i was in a relationship it ended with nothing but pain im not ready to even think about getting into a relationship with a real person right now and especially not with the school we currently go to bc its filled with homophobes and people who if they removed themselves the world would be a better place. Im so fucking scared man i haven't felt like this since my mom confronted me about cutting my hair ughhh everything hurts im so scared fuck fuck fuck

[away-ward]

Hellow, i'm a newcomer!!! I love your contents, and i might watch thailand f4(?) after this because of your blogs! Anyway, I like your blogs because there just seems to be so many different kinds of people interacting with you here?? It's so obvious and you can kinda see if they like dn or its characters or not by their asks. That led to me: You know, i've never thought the DN series books to be OVERLY repetitive but when you, your anons, and your mutuals put a lot of twos and twos together about how repetitive some plots points, characteristics and sex scenes were, it became even clearer to me about how a lot of them are just so similar now. As if it's a formula at this point.

Another scene that came to mind was when alex told aydin she can fuck whoever she wanted, this scene literally transported me back to winterdamon's bathtub scene where winter was touching herself and said some cringey shit about "little sister" "not being bossed around" or damon being her daddy or something and she can do whatever she wants. And alex moaned will's name also reminded me of that scene of rika moaning trevor/kai's name when she's with michael too, and banks with kai about damon during their first intercourse (these happened right? im pretty sure they did or my mind might just be messing with me?).

And winter calling other girls easy like how rika did in corrupt? Banks rika hideaway aka alex emmy train scene in nightfall? Even the misogyny was repetitive!!!! hELP i hate it here mom 😭 this makes me feel like rika/alex/winter are literally the same type of pd's ideal characters, the mary sue but slutty type, but not much of a whore though, but also badass, only with different hair colours and societal backgrounds. Banks is only similar to emory with her colour, Thank fucking god! Because the other FMCs were LITERALLY so similar in many ways to me. And i feel like it's so unfair because we already got so little of great FMCs in this series whatnot with the opening book: corrupt was just pure shit, but why did pd had to butcher them like that? Even the horsemen had very distinct personality, EVEN IF they had similar characteristics to their friends. Even kai and damon were told to be similar, but they were very different, thats why it wasnt confusing (to me at least). What's with pd and their formulaic overly repetitive writing? Idk if im gonna read their fall away series if they're like this too. Had anybody read it? What are your thoughts on it?

---And on a side note, funny (sarcastic tone) how a lot of things alex said or did about will or emmy's personality/situation in general could have hurt emmy (as a friend), but alex did it anyway, but then alex turned around and was always seen to be not-understanding of em's situation, and sometimes she was even inconsiderate towards how emmy COULD possibly feel about alexwill's past hookups as em's friend, even laugh at her when she was jealous of them (and also for moaning will's name!! Wtf! Pd was so wrong for making will sleep in the same bed with alexemmg. I also hate that we get to see willalex's friendship and trust building even in tidbits, but we can't get the same or more for THE main couples themselves? Will can build that trust with alex to the point she knew he would come for her and be there for he, but pd couldnt make will build trust with emmy? Will grayson deseve to die the most painful death ngl)

(Idk if these alexwill asks had been made clear by your anons many times before or not, but i have only seen your recent blogs so idk, but ig my point still stands. Please do pin/post something to indicate if it has been mentioned or if you're ever tired of seeing them for newcomers like me so we can filter our asks, if this is not too much for you) Then alex was hypocritically literally going batshit crazy for all the insinuations made by will and aydin about emmyaydin??? The situation was?? It's so???? It's like when it happened to emmy, emmy was expected to be okay with it, and not show much jealousy, expected to be perfect always, not only that, even emmy herself kept on doing all the emotional work of everyone on her own, but when it comes to alex (or even will), not only they were cruel with their words and actions, they were also irrationally angry at em at the weirdest of time? As if they had no common sense or something? Like they're the only ones suffering? Funny how will said how em didnt know how will suffered or how alex said to em about how em was not the only one suffering? But alexwill were insufferable as fuck, and they were the ones who kept on being dramatic and dgaf about em's feelings or safetyl, so?? Alexwill Truly had horribe personilities, and they were always seen to be inconsiderate of em's feelings with their thinking unless em called them out for it too, but why does emmy has to tell how much they were hurting her ALL THE TIME so only then they would stop and consider how she felt? So fucking selfish. Alexwill were really so fucking annoying istg---

Just like some of your anons, nightfall ruined will's character for me, i was so disappointed in him because he was described as "being different than his friends" in other books (and maybe the povs we got were from his worse friends, so maybe thats why the bar was under the fucking ground) but then anons were right, in his book, his outward actions were shown to be LIKE THAT. But then again, if he's been best friends with those same disgusting horsemen all his life, why wouldn't he pick up the same hurtful words and behaviour from them, even a little, right? Birds from the same feather after all. When you guys said how similar will and michael were about their misogyny and how that was the main reason why that anon hated will, it became clear to me even more why i hated will in nightfall, because gooododdd i hate michael for the same reasons too!!! That anon just put my hatred better into words. Sometimes i feel like i have a different expectations of how a dark romance should be and then i came across these books and they totally were not within my expectations, they're worse, so my expectations were the one to ruin my enjoyment of reading these dark romance books in general. Maybe idk.

Anyway, if theres any anons who love will grayson, or if KO (away-ward) yourself have some long paragraphs of why you guys love will, please do share because even as a will hater myself, its a bit existing to be in this space for Will and Emmy with so many will hates lol! Maybe if you guys share your cute reasons why you love him here, MAYBE i'll like him better and change some of my opinions about him. In very much need of will grayson appreciation in this will grayson love drought (but ONLY related to emmy please, idgaf about his cute scenes with others, especially damon. I had enough in canon, im sick of them.) 😂

Hey! Welcome.

It would make my day if you decided to watch F4 Thailand. No pressure though. The story is absolutely bonkers, but it's really close to my heart. It’s nice to know someone is getting something from the f4 posts. I mean, I’m entertaining myself, so not getting any notes hasn’t been a deterrent at all, but still. At least I know not everyone hates them. If you do decide to watch, I’m using Viki. It’s free there, as are several of the hana yori dango/boys over flowers versions, if you want to dive right in. Comparing them has been a lot of fun.

Idk if these alexwill asks had been made clear by your anons many times before or not, but I have only seen your recent blogs so idk, but ig my point still stands. Please do pin/post something to indicate if it has been mentioned or if you’re ever tired of seeing them for newcomers like me so we can filter our asks, if this is not too much for you

I’ll start off here. I, for one, don’t mind rehashing the same information. Sometimes it can be a bit redundant when I feel like I have nothing to add because I’ve said everything I have to say, but I don’t want the anon to feel like I’m ignoring their point, but for the most part anon usually bring up a new point or consideration I hadn’t thought of before, so it’s not too bad. There is a “Tag System” post on the desktop that goes over how I tag my posts to find what you’re looking for. However, if you’re using only mobile, it probably won’t show up. I’ve been meaning to add it to the master list for ease.

For a quick run-down, I tag all of my answered messages with “asked and answered”, so searching that tag within my blog will bring up all the previous discussions. You can also search by a character’s full name, but that will bring up all posts concerning them, even if it’s something I rb’d and just tagged as the character. However, that doesn’t always work. I get the best results when I just click the tag I want from a post. That typically works a bit better, simply because Tumblr’s search system is pretty bad by all accounts.

If that doesn’t work, let me know, and I’ll see if I can work out another method.

Anyway, on to your thoughts!

I like your blogs because there just seems to be so many different kinds of people interacting with you here. It's so obvious and you can kinda see if they like dn or its characters or not by their asks

I certainly wasn’t expecting the blog to develop this way. My thoughts are that people just like a place where they can express their thoughts or rant about something without having to fear being judged or someone attacking them for it. There are a lot of things about the series to complain about (obviously), but when people are so deeply entrenched in fandom stuff, it can be hard to realistically critique it without backlash. But it’s all fun to me, so I don’t mind. It’s worth a laugh.

And I hope it’s a lot of different people. It seems to be, but since most are on anon, I can’t really know. It hasn’t been a problem since everyone has been respectful and nice to the other anons, so I can’t complain about that.

DN series books to be OVERLY repetitive but when you, your anons, and your mutuals put a lot of twos and twos together about how repetitive some plots points, characteristics and sex scenes were, it became even clearer to me about how a lot of them are just so similar now. As if it's a formula at this point.

It didn’t feel repetitive to me at first, either. It really was after talking about certain parts so many times that I began to realize they felt like others parts in the series. I think there’s enough different about each scene that it’s not that easy to identify. And, to go along with that, I think it’s because of something you said.

The guys are different.

It’s hard to say which is worse in the series: the horsemen or the women. Obviously, the horsemen take more heat for their misogyny and general lack of accountability wherever they go, but there’s no denying that they are much more developed characters than the girls’. Because the horsemen are the heart of the series. They were there from the start; it’s really all about them.

So what we get left with is PD’s idea of an empowered woman. Which I guess looks one of two ways? Or the idea that these four friends would only be interested in one of two types of women?

You get sexy blonde or sassy brunette. Take your pick.

But I don’t want to break the characters down that way. I’ll never back off the idea that writing is hard, much less writing something of this size. Everyone grows in skill at a different rate, and I would have been excited to see what this story would look like in the hands of a more experienced PD. It’s a shame that the community’s fighting has tarnished their love for the series in a way. But since we got it the way we did, it seems that PD liked a few dynamics or that their imagination lead them down the same path because it’s what they liked, and in the end re-used them, maybe even unconsciously.

Alex told aydin she can fuck whoever she wanted, this scene literally transported me back to winterdamon’s bathtub scene where winter was touching herself and said some cringey shit about “little sister” “not being bossed around” or damon being her daddy or something and she can do whatever she wants

I hadn’t noticed this one, but then it’s no secret I don’t remember a lot of KS haha. Hideaway and KS are my weakest in the series, so they’ll have the most holes for me.

this makes me feel like rika/alex/winter are literally the same type of pd's ideal characters, the mary sue but slutty type, but not much of a whore though, but also badass, only with different hair colours and societal backgrounds

It is a bit frustrating that at times the girls felt like copy/paste. Like it wouldn’t matter who was in the scene, it would unfold the same way. I talk a lot about Alex’s weakness as a character, but that’s mainly because she could have been a good character if she wasn’t written to be perfect in every scene. At times Rika and Winter fall into this trap too.

Not playing favorites, but it could be why I like Emory and Banks a little more; they’re allowed to be imperfect and admit it without making a big deal about it.

Emory says something mean to her friend and apologies. It’s never brought up again, but Emory doesn’t become someone who never makes that mistake again.

Banks gets irritated that she’s dragged-out shopping, but later thanks Alex for her help. It just seemed in the narrative, the other three had to be right always, and if they were angry or mean, it’s because they were right meanwhile, Banks and Em were allowed to be wrong or needless mean sometimes, as we all are.

Idk if im gonna read their fall away series if they're like this too. Had anybody read it? What are your thoughts on it?

If someone has anything to share, feel free. I can post without commentary. All I’ve read is Bully and I can definitely say it was more tame that DN, and felt more like PD was just starting out, working their imagination while DN was more like them pushing their imagination pass it’s limits. It’s not a bad thing for a writer to do that; it’s good. But as a comparison to understand the two different feels of the books to me. Bully was like the first time you go for a run while DN was like a marathon, in terms of writing and creativity.

I still don’t know if that made any sense at all. Sorry.

And on a side note, funny (sarcastic tone) how a lot of things alex said or did about will or emmy's personality/situation in general could have hurt emmy (as a friend), but alex did it anyway –

There’s a lot to say about the Alex situation. To me, it feels like PD started with one intention for NF and Willemmy, but as they let their writing group get involved, those who already had an attachment to Alex, the intent went out the window to appease them. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement when ideas are flying, so if that is the case, I see how it could have happened. It’s just so sad that it did.

Alex should have either been Emmy’s friend or Will’s protector, but she couldn’t be both. That’s the most confusing part of the whole situation. Alex appears in NF first as someone one Emmy’s side and showing concern about Will. But as the novel progresses, she bounces around between being Will’s protector from Emmy and Aydin, to being Emmy’s friend and comforter, to hating Aydin and anyone who aligns with him – namely Emmy. She constantly rotates between these three states, and it never made any sense to me – and apparently several other readers.

I wouldn’t have minded seeing Will and Alex’s friendship developed more if it made clear why Will could never love her the way he loved Emmy, but I doubt that would have happened. I believe PD wanted us to see Will and Alex as being so close, they were basically the same person, having a deeper understanding of each other. It however, never comes to light that way in NF and instead we’re left with a shipping war that was never meant to be.

I can reason on a lot of PD’s executions, but there are a few I can’t let go. One that I’ve been thinking about lately is the fight scene at the cove?

I remember being so mad and hurt and confused that Will would leave Emmy to take on Martin while he fought Aydin. Why would he let Martin lay another finger on her? Why was Aydin more important at that moment, when we know that Aydin doesn’t want Emmy that way. He wants to hurt Will and Alex (at least as far as Will knows).

And then for Alex to be shot by Martin, and that’s what stops the fighting? And then that’s when Will finally kills him. Yes, it was for Emmy technically, and I have no doubt that Martin was trying to shoot Emory, that shooting Alex was a mistake because they were fighting.

But it’s just the narrative of it all. It really sends the message that Alex is more important to the story, to the family, to Will then Emory is.

Emory says Martin will never lay a hand on her again, and while I appreciate the overall idea of her finally fighting back, I would have loved it all the more if she had posed herself to fight him and Will refused to let her. She’d conquered her fear of him; it didn’t mean Will needed to let her fight that fight. I’m so tired of PD putting Emory in the backseat while Alex gets to right passenger in Will’s life. And it’s not fixed until Alex leaves to be in Aydin’s life. I just don’t get it.

Where’s Michael with his “I love you guys, but she is everything!” speech? I need that guy to sit Will down.

But anywho.

Funny how will said how em didn’t know how will suffered or how alex said to em about how em was not the only one suffering? But alexwill were insufferable as fuck, and they were the ones who kept on being dramatic and dgaf about em’s feelings or afety, so??

Yeah, that was pretty irritating. I just kept thinking, “do we all remember who was the one being physically abused for years? Are you talking to the girl who literally just lost her grandmother, the only person who every really cared about her? Oh, your pain is worse? Got it.” I would dare any of them to say those kinds of things to Damon and watch what happens. But no. Em’s got to suck it up.

will's character for me, i was so disappointed in him because he was described as "being different than his friends" in other books

To be honesty, I hated Will in the first three books. Except for in the past scenes. I don’t know how deeply you’ve read into the blog, but I’ve talked before about my DN reading journey, so I won’t go too in depth now, but I was really looking forward to Emory’s story and Will was so boring that I almost didn’t make it.

And then in NF, all I cared about was the past scenes. For me, that was the real Will and anything that happened after that was because he was emotionally disturbed by his heartbreak, and then stunted by his time in prison. It’s not an excuse for his behavior, but a reason I can work with.

Will is not nearly as bad alone, even in the present scenes, as he is when he’s with Alex. The WillAlex shippers really got the best of PD at some points, and it shows. Present Will is not great, but I can work with him in terms of character. Will with Alex is too much because Alex in general doesn’t make sense and is a poor character.

But then again, if he’s been best friends with those same disgusting horsemen all his life

I’m laughing because sometimes when I read sentences like this, I wonder how you as a reader made it through the series. The only reason I kept reading was for the horsemen and their friendship.

Will didn’t just pick up bad traits from them. He probably provided some of his own. It’s why the four of them work so well. I remember Damon saying that Will was the most trouble for his parents. He’s always been this way.

When you guys said how similar will and michael were about their misogyny and how that was the main reason why that anon hated will, it became clear to me even more why i hated will in nightfall, because gooododdd i hate michael for the same reasons too!!! That anon just put my hatred better into words

And this is exactly why it’s worth sharing your thoughts, even negative rant-y ones, because you never know when you’re saying exactly what someone is thinking. You’re probably not as alone as you think in your views. It’s no one wants to deal with the backlash if the wrong person reads it, so we keep silent.

Sometimes I feel like I have a different expectations of how a dark romance should be and then I came across these books and they totally were not within my expectations, they’re worse, so my expectations were the one to ruin my enjoyment of reading these dark romance books in general. Maybe idk.

I guess it depends. DN left a lot to be desired in terms of execution. I usually don’t go into with expectations other than somewhat decent writing, so it could be that you’re expecting literary worthy storytelling when the truth is you’re getting the equivalent of fast food. Maybe I’m wrong. But I think it’s worth for you to list out the things you want from a dark romance and that might help you identify what you’re looking for a little faster, so you don’t waste your time (and brain cells, if you feel that you’ve lost some just trying to process all of this).

if theres any anons who love will grayson, or if KO (away-ward) yourself have some long paragraphs of why you guys love will, please do share because even as a will hater myself, its a bit existing to be in this space for Will and Emmy with so many will hates

  I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s a Will that lives in my head that doesn’t exist in PD’s and that’s how I’m surviving. It’s a bit hard whenever I���m reminded that my Will isn’t the Real Will, but then I don’t care cause I think my Will is better.

I don’t know how to explain my Will other than he’s everything I wanted from NF and somehow he developed from the same place as Real Will.

All I can say, and I hate doing it because I feel like I’m assigning homework, is that if you want to understand how I see Will, you’ll have to read my Will grayson iii tag. Just click the one at the bottom of this post and go from there. That’s all I got.

especially damon. I had enough in canon, im sick of them

So hey, everyone! If you’ve got any other Willemmy HCs or thoughts or scenes that you just really liked that you’ve been sitting one because you weren’t sure if it was the right time to share, this is a request to send them in. Sounds like this anon needs them.

Thanks everyone! and thanks, Anon, for your message. It's nice to hear from you and hope you enjoy the other content.

*This is unedited and will have some spelling and grammar mistakes. Edits will be done within the day*

[injupsorbit]

the consequences of being intimate—

It was the July of the previous year.

No, not the spring before that, or June, or even August.

July.

There were bottles of beer and a circle full of know-it-alls who were ready to leave for college.

Except for Marci.

Because she wasn’t going.

In the grand scheme of things, she told herself it didn’t matter, that she would see them again someday.

Even if it was only a reunion.

She was now, and they were here, sitting under their Magnolia tree just like always.

And her friends were drunk, and they were funny, and Marci couldn’t stop looking at checking on Abigal Linetti.

Who was her best friend that was leaving as soon as everyone else went home.

She didn’t like her parents, because her parents didn’t love her.

So Abigal was going the farthest, even if it meant leaving Marci behind.

“Who’s turn is it?” Ryan–Tucker's best friend who was Jalen's best friend who was the glue that held the rest of them together– asked.

“Marci’s.” Trinity said, nudging Marci and breaking her stare.

“Huh?” she mumbled, looking Trinity in the eye until she looked away and pointed at the bottle in the middle of the grass.

“Oh. I don’t wanna play you guys. It's actually getting kinda late my mom is exp–”

Marci planted her feet on the ground, starting to stand when Tucker grabbed her sleeve.

Abigal saw.

“Cmonnnnn Mar, this is the last night all of us get to hang out for god knows how long. Stay. Please.”

Tucker had a painfully obvious crush on Marci, and wanted to kiss her before he left for Denver.

She winced.

She was oblivious.

“I dunno. It doesn't really seem like a good idea.”

She scanned the faces of her friends, hoping maybe one of them would back her up.

Her eyes lingered on Abigal’s.

One beat too long, and looked away.

“Whatever. Since you don’t value our friendships…” Ryan muttered, grabbing ahold of the bottle and spinning in.

“You just went!” Jenna screached, trying to move the bottle until it landed dead center at her.

“Oh come on.” she muttered.

Marci looked between Ryan and Jenna, watching how easily his hands slipped behind her ears and kissed her like she was fire.

It was fascinating to Marci how easy it looked and how much easier it was to not be able to stop.

Because when she got up, neither of them batted an eye.

Except for Abigal.

She stood, running her hands down her skirt to get the grass off.

“Hey guys, I think I’m gonna head home too. I have to leave tonight anyway so I might as well get a head start.”

She gleaned down at everybody and pretended that she didn’t even see Marci.

Ryan sat back down in the grass, now watching Abigal the same way he looked at every girl.

Like he wanted to fuck her.

He was settling for Jenna because he knew she liked him.

They all went a little stiff before eventually getting up and hugging Abigal goodbye.

“Guys… we already did this yesterday, just pretend I’m already gone. Plus, I know we’ll see each other soon.” She held onto Jalen’s back.

There were other mutters of enough empty promises to fill a jar, finally letting Abigal go.

Marci wasn’t jealous how much more everyone liked Abigal than her, but it made her sad knowing if she ever got out of this town, she wouldn’t be leaving someone behind in order to gain the ones that left her first.

The last one to go.

“I’ll walk with you.” Marci said to Abigal as she gave her final goodbyes and air kisses to their long lived friend group of know-it-alls and warm beer drinkers.

They walked.

And walked some more.

And just a little bit more.

Until they found themselves in their old middle school, wandering the halls like the ghosts of them used to.

“You remember when we used to pants eachother like, all the time?” Abigal asked, stopping in the hall just to face her.

Marci froze. “Yeah?”

“Why’d we stop doing that?” she asked her, breaking her stance and continuing on down past Mrs. Eversons room.

“You don't remember the one time I did it to you, but you didn’t have any underwear on and you went to pull them back up but you were stepping on the hem so you busted your ass on the hardwood floor?”

Abigal's laugh erupted out of her, she doubled over without missing a beat.

“I do!” she sighed, just before starting up all over again.

“God how could I forget that… Yeah and I broke my fucking elbow and had to be in a cast for a month and a half!”

“Yeah, but I got us both out of PE… remember? And then as soon as you got it off, winter break started.”

“You’re right.” Abigal sighed again, letting her laughter fizzle out.

“Why do you ask?”

Marci stopped walking and waited for Abigal to turn around.

But she didn’t.

“Ab?” Marci inched forward, afraid maybe she said something wrong, or she found out, or that–

“So I can do this!” Abigal screamed and reached for both the sides of Marci’s jeans and gave them a good tug.

They fell right down to her ankles before she could even imagine how cold the air was on her legs.

Abigal took off, laughing maniacally back at Marci before hollering, “I’ll meet you at our spot!” as she rounded a corner.

Marci was wet.

And she pretended not to know why.

A few minutes later, out of the dark, Abigal’s figure–that was standing beside one of those green electrical boxes– became clearer in Marci’s eyes.

(Marci at her big age, didn’t know what they were called. But no one really did.)

“Slow poke.” Abigal called, laughing to herself quietly.

Marci just shook her head.

“Can you believe they took out the steps we made?”

Their steps were piles of dirt and old cardboard from the trash.

The floods washed them out over time.

But they were necessary since the box was on a platform.

“I know.” Marci kneeled down before Abigal, patted her knee once, and told her to “Step up.”

Abigal did, and Marci was glad it was almost Midnight because she was afraid she might accidentally look up her skirt.

She grunted, pulling herself the rest of the way and immediately reaching out a hand to pull Marci up.

“Thanks.” she said after they were both standing on top, looking over the town where hopefully, neither of them would live anymore.

There was a silence between them, something that happened often, something that they always were trying to fill.

“How come you didn’t want to play tonight?” Abigal asked, looking over her shoulder.

She knew the answer already, but she still wanted to see the gears turn in Marci’s head to think of a reply.

And she was making Marci nervous, she knew.

Because even in the dark, she could somehow see – and even sense– the heat rising from her cheeks.

“I dunno… I wasn’t really feeling it. You guys know I don’t really like that stuff.”

Abigal knew what ‘that stuff’ meant, and she didn’t mean to pry.

“I know.” there was more silence, and after looking at the same lights that always look the same and will always look the same, Abigal piped up again.

This time asking: “You know Tucker likes you y’know?”

This made Marci’s head spin and look Abigal head on.

“What?! No he doesn’t.” she tucked her arms in front of her chest, a dead giveaway that she was on edge.

“Yes he does. That’s why he wanted you to stay tonight. Everyone knows. He even told me.”

Her eyes grew wide. “Wh.. what did he say?”

“Here, come er.” she whispered, drawing her in.

And when Abigal’s lips were nearly touching Marci’s, she said “He told Jalen and I that he wants to get you alone, just you and him, and he wants to grab you by your waist and bend you over before he fucks you lik–”

Marci pulled away dramatically.

“You're so full of shit!” she said, a shy smile on her face.

“It’s true!”

It wasn’t.

“You're gonna sit here and tell me he isn't obsessed with you. What about the whole, ‘Cmonnnnn Mar, this is the last night all of us get to hang out for god knows how long Stay Please’ bullshit? He likes you. That’s why he wanted you to stay.” she mimicked him in a pleading voice that only made Marci feel a weird guttural feeling.

Get her alone? She didn’t like that.

And she definitely didn’t like Tucker.

He was her friend.

They all were.

Especially Abigal.

There was another pause, something that the both of them wanted to fill but were somehow afraid of saying something wrong.

“Well I don’t like him.” Marci said. Turning over her arms to fold them tighter.

“Why not? He’s going to University of Denver for fucks sake. Plus he likes you! What’s not to like, he’s like totally your type.”

They knew he wasn't.

They both knew.

“It’s just weird. We're friends.”

Abigal sighed, turning away from Marci and throwing her hands up in the air upset.

“God, why are you being such a prude?! I’m trying to help you before I leave, I’m still trying to help you, and you're just throwing it in my face!”

It would be harder to leave if she knew what still wasn’t.

Marci furrowed her brows and dipped her head to meet Abigal’s gaze.

“What? I’m not a prude, don’t say that. That’s fucking rude Ab.”

“How come you didn’t want to play then?”

Marci knew.

Abigal knew.

There was silence, this time, it was so heavy you could hear the crickets putting on a show.

“Because, it’s just… weird.”

Abigal searched for her eyes, for an answer, for the real answer… but she wouldn’t look at her.

She couldn’t.

“And because, nobody’s ever really wanted to. Like you had so many boyfriends when we were little and yeah they were stupid and didn’t mean anything but still. I don’t know. I don’t know.”

Marci shook her head, praying that the dark covered up the fire that was brimming in her eyes, trying not to burn this bridge.

Abigal opened her mouth to say something, to fill the silence.

She stopped herself.

“And because, I don’t even know if anybody would ever want to… for more than just a dare.”

The answer was so close, hidden behind a question they were both scared to ask.

“And most people… they get attached and they can’t let go… and I still want it to be special and mean and be worth something. I don’t know.”

The knots that formed side by side inside Marci’s and Abigal’s stomachs had synced up, in preparation for tonight.

The past years, slowly snowballing, forming into something that was isolated by fear and secretly identical.

“What if I want it to last forever, so that way I can never get hurt?”

Marci was looking up now, her arm’s at her sides and the point of her chin facing the stars.

Abigal watched her intently, seeing her sniffle back the rest of her words and swallow the ones that almost made it out.

“I will.”

She met her gaze.

She didn’t mean to say it.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

“What?”

“I’ll kiss you Mar. it’s no big deal.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

She was playing it down, because she was about to shit her pants.

“Wait, what?”

Abigal didn’t move an inch, afraid of what would happen if Marci saw any hesitation within her.

“I’m serious.” she said.

Marci looked at Abigal with her palms facing her.

Like she had threatened to shove her to her death.

Which was almost the same thing with how close she was getting to Marci, inching forward.

“Wait, you actually want to kiss me?”

It made Abigal’s heart break.

That alone would have done it.

“Yeah, it's not a big deal, unless you decide to make it one.”

It was a big deal.

Marci closed her eyes, letting the last of her tears soak into her skin.

“Okay.” she whispered.

Her eyes were still closed.

“Okay?” Abigal whispered to her, stepping closer.

Their hips were touching.

Abigal felt every single one of Marci’s exhales.

She was nervous.

She was nervous.

Marci nodded, hoping she could see her response.

She did.

Marci breathed deep, but before she could exhale, Abigal was reaching toward Marci, connecting the crooked lips with her own.

It felt.

Like lips.

And it wasn’t perfect, or magical or even amazing.

But Marci knew she couldn’t stop.

Because she knew it felt right.

These lips.

These were the ones.

She knew.

And it didn’t even feel like the perfect kiss, but because she knew who they were, everything balanced out.

Everything.

Marci backed up a step, letting Abigal catch her breath, before she moved her hands from her sides and cupped her face perfectly.

Just like Ryan did with Jenna.

Just like Jalen had done to Trinity.

And now, just like Marci had done to Abigal.

But just after Marci had somehow gotten home, stripped off her jeans and promised to never wash them again, she felt it.

The knot in her stomach started to twist and bend into an unbearable pain that she collapsed to the hardwood floor of her bedroom and curled herself into nothing.

Abigal had left the city.

[chuluoyi]

Pity 60?! ALMOST THERE! You can do it! 🥳 2 ?! Goodness how even 😭😭 The lowest I got was 6... Not any better but 2 is so close to being flat broke...

Yeahhh her dad is such an ass Maxi is the sweetest! And she's got a super hot husband now so I guess she DID benefit from being married off 😚 Oh I've read that too! Edna is such a girlboss I love her! It's different from the normal damsel in distress kind of Female lead, and it's really refreshing. What else have you read?

I hope so! But I'm still 18 and I wanna enjoy being single hahaha! I've seen my friends cry and weep over guys and I feel like I want to stay unburdened by the weight of a relationship till I'm like 19-20-ish? Thanks Chu! haha it's getting super rainy where I'm from... It's so cold istg...

Ahaha! I'm not THAT young. But I do agree that my watchlist is soul-sucking dhdhdh. Though, there's something about sad animes, don't you think?

HAHAHA you're young too! And you finished Naruto during your summer break?! Omg just how much did you watch per day you're amazing.

Right?! We deserve to know, Gege! Have mercy please was killing off our 3 JJK daddies not enough-

Hmm I honestly preferred the old art, even if the animation wasn't on par with Mappa's. I did pick it up after awhile, but Instagram spoiled me so I lost motivation after 2-3 episodes of season 4... I should really delete all social media accounts before watching a new anime...

Oh no is he okay HAHAHA was the ending that sad I'm slightly tempted to binge the rest of AOT after my exams are over hmm... How could he?!?! Gojo dying is one of the few anime deaths that shook the world 😭😭Or is he just jealous 🤭

Omg a fellow monkey! Sugu's monkey cult is expanding- Ngl I would gladly be a monkey if it means I can get slightly closer to Suguru-

Also I've received your TOT req!! The bakerlon card is legit so cute ahhh 😫😫

-🪩

i… gave up🥲 seems like there’s no hope for me 😩 i’ll wait until next year then and save the s chips i get from the monthly pass for the upcoming events🤧

HAHAHAH the benefit is right there!!🤭 i love maxi’s progress though and YES I LOVE EDNA SO MUCH omg she’s so badass, takes care of her own shits and the plot twist is soooo omg i finished that manhwa on one night and was left sooo full😩 it was one of the best manhwas for me

hmm i think i’ve read quite many arranged marriage stories but suddenly i can’t think of any of them🥲 but another great manhwa i read is unholy blood! i love hayan sm she’s also badass and her romance with euntae drives me almost insane bcs of the slow burn🤧 but it’s so so great by the ending i was sad to let it go. have you read it?? and do you have any other recs?

so true! i honestly don’t think there’s any benefit for us to force ourselves to have a boyfriend/girlfriend that early (especially if they say it’s for the status—a classmate of mine once told me that she was dating this guy just to know how being in a relationship was like💀 she’s messed up) because in the end, we are looking for the real thing. the real thing doesn’t come easily, it takes time. fyi my current boyfriend is my first bf, we started dating just last year, which means i have my first bf at 23🥹 and i’m so glad i heed my mom then, that it’s no use to have boyfriends when you were still in high school or college as chances are they are still immature themselves.

but if you do find someone who is good in school, then it’s okay to try! just don’t be discouraged if you don’t because nah we need the true ones😉

(aw sorry to come off as lecturing i can’t stop myself but my mom’s advice is what saves me🥹 and i really do think it’s so good)

me too!! it’s rainy and cold nowadays *sigh* but at least it’s not as hot?🥹

THERES 🗣️ SOMETHING 🗣️ ABOUT 🗣️ ANGST 🗣️ that made me feel like i want to jump out of the window yet satisfied my inner soul at the same time🤧🤧🤧

HAHAHA i felt old bcs now i’m paying for my own bills and impulse buying😭 JSJSJS nono i watched naruto from eps 300 onwards actually🥹 still, that’s quite a lot 😭 but yeah, i could watch at least 5-10 eps per day back then 🥲

PFFT DADDIES so true 😔😔 *sigh* my life has never been the same ever since that gojo sukuna fight. i started looking for spoilers (i didn’t follow the manga before), installed twitter and reading theories. my heart used to be thumping so hard each time i went over the spoilers you know? like i know gojo was going to lose somehow but i hope so much he didn’t and then when chapter 235 dropped and gege took a break i was like “!!!!” only to 236 to reverse it in the most brutal way💀

ahh i see… i’m starting to think that aot is for boys😭 like most of my guy friends are like “this is the best anime of my life” while my girl friends are just bamboozled with everything🥹

he’s mourning and coping the way we do for our jjk daddies🤭🤭 save to say that karma gets him bcs he doesn’t follow the manga HAHAHA maybe both i don’t know but he gets 🙄🙄 when i swoon over gojo ahahhaha

oh? good luck on your exam disco anon!! i know you’ll do well!!🫶🏻

HAHAHAHAH OMG that’s the term he used too!!🤣 like he’s okay being suguru’s monkey just because🥹

waah! that’s good then!! the card is so CHIC but i haven’t gotten the chance to read it yet along with the side story card🥲🥲🥲 i will after this weekend i think bcs work has been so tiring *sigh*

[katdanczyk]

My Toxic Relationship story

Here is my story I’ve been postponing forever!

Why? My toxic relationship and ex did not want me to share with the world how these types of people can become.

In August of 2015 I began dating this guy. It was definitely a rushed relationship. I never noticed the red flags until after the fact he broke up and called it quits 8 months prior to our wedding date. Anyway, as I continue to right my story. He always showed signs of loving, caring, and compassionate even at times very supportive. It was not until I wanted to break free. There were numerous times within the first 2 years I saw red flags, and wanted to split. My ex continued to manipulate the situation, even got angry many times. It was like he wanted me chained down. He didn’t want me to succeed because he wouldn’t succeed in life. It’s like he truly envied me.

The reason apparently why the split up happened because it was always my fault. I never did do anything good enough that he enjoyed even though I tried. No matter how many times prior that I wanted to end the relationship, because I had known at the time it just wasn’t going to work. I was more of a hustler and achiever in life. If there is a will there is a way that I would make it. He saw my success with income coming in so he would never leave. He would even be so conniving and convincing he would help me that he got me into debt. He financially drained me. It was more so emotional abuse within the relationship that it became toxic. His mom always stood up for him. She always told him that I was the psycho one because she didn’t want to gain his freedom.

It was just overall a very toxic environment to be in. Many battles, arguments, and fights had occurred. It was like a vampire sucking the life out of me. He drained my energy. He made me exhausted with sleepless nights. Keeping me up nearly 24 hours every weekend to do what he wanted to do after work. When majority of the time he had closing shifts, and I had early shifts to late evenings every single day.He said I was too much of a competitor for him. That I was psycho and his mom pardon my language but it’s the honest truth. I was the psychotic bitch according to her when I had found out he drained money that he owed my mother for helping purchase the car he had from his own family.

I was young, dumb, and in love. He did many antagonizing things to see if I was jealous. He would always test his limits. In September or October of 2020, I decided to move out of my parent’s house. He tried manipulating me to the point to move in with his family that was also draining. Had the same exact toxic environment. I just tried helping him get out of the environment. He decided to move back home. I decided to move in with a friend of mine and become her roommate. After that, he saw me as a white knight opportunity. I was finally catching on to what he was doing. I quit bringing in more income. I quit everything to prevent him from draining me financially. I began dishing it all back to him to gain my freedom. He didn’t quite notice yet…

In December of 2020 we were engaged. I had a wedding venue, invitations, and much more. The wedding date was set. Well, I stood up for myself. He wanted a 10,000 venue. I would never book that because of our income. So, I booked a cheaper out door venue. I even had a friend that was going to do food and decorations. In July of 2021 he decided to call it quits. He was cheating on me with a married woman in front of my face. He would never let me see his phone. Although, I did know it all along. The phone was under my name. He wouldn’t even give me the phone back right away because “he was going to work on himself and he might come back within the relationship.” There were many red flags that weren’t too noticeable, and that I let slide. Narcissists tend to do that to their victims. They’ll always choose someone in a very bad situation. They’ll love bomb them, and everything else just to make themselves look good. This is why a lot of times now days it leads up to domestic violence. My situation did not lead up to that point. He left before and I blocked all contact. Let him have stuff he never returned and much more just to clear the brain fog from all the manipulation that he had done.

It was like a mother/son relationship rather than a romantic one. There are many different types of narcissists. He was definitely a covert narcissist. He was the quiet introverted type of person that didn’t want many people knowing what they’re doing. There are also the overt narcissists and I’ll talk about that story at a later time. It’s been a healing journey to know these things. I tend to attract these kinds of people because I am having a lot of empathy. I tend to always care about others around me. It was not only toxic within our relationship, but it was toxic with my roommate that I was living with. She was a friend of many years. Like I said I’ll say that story later. It’s definitely been more of a growth journey for me than anything. I’ve helped many women discover these kinds of people. Sadly, the judges, therapists, and so on do not know what these people are capable of. Even law enforcement if they see know potential of abuse or what can happen, they won’t help. I’ve seen and heard to many stories of women you have been there. Some nearly die because no one believes them. They’ll isolate you from friends and family. I am forever grateful my situation never came to that extent.

I spread awareness about narcissists because of the people I’ve met. I will continue to blog and share my stories. Everyone has been so extremely curious to what happened. This is what happened. I am sure he got flying monkeys against me, but that’s fine. One’s who truly get to know me and have my back always stick to my side. I never have to worry about them leaving.

#narcissitabuse #emotionalabuse #toxicrelationship #healingjourney #growth #discoveringwhoIam

[treadmilltreats]

Why would you gossip about others?

I remember going to a party and it was amazing how some people like to gossip about others. The first thing they did was start whispering about this one and that one but I don't get it.

We are at a point in our lives where we should be adult enough to let go of all the petty bullshit and be happy for others' successes and not their failures.

I am not jealous of anyone as I know that looks can be deceiving. Yes, that friend who has those Lou Boutin shoes or the Gucci purse looks good on the outside but inside she is dying and unhappy. Your friend with a big house and fancy car, can't sleep at night because they are drowning in debt. The friend who thinks they are better than everyone else and puts others down is really insecure about themselves and is trying to take the focus off of their own shortcomings.

I want to know the good stuff. Like if they decided to change their lives, or if they got a promotion, a new house, or if someone gifted them with a new car. That is what I want to talk about, the positive things not the negative ones.

I focus on all the good around me, I don't think there is nothing missing, nothing lacking or nothing broken in my life. I am full and I want to stay in that space. For me gossip is a waste of time just like watching the news, all you hear is bad things.

I don't want to know the bad, tell me good news, uplift me, and give me hope for a better tomorrow. Yes, there is all of that in this world yet so many people just focus on the bad, or the sensational because we have become a world of gossipmongers. Building someone up just to tear them down.

So today my friends, I am here to let you know that it's a choice. I tell you that every day, the choice is yours. You can go around and talk about people to try to make yourself feel better about your situation or you can rejoice in others' good fortune and be truly happy for their lives.

I will leave you with this. I remember when a friend had someone give her a car as hers just died. She was a single mom on a fixed income and I knew how hard it's been on her.

When she told me I literally cried because I was as happy for her as if it happened to me.

That is where we should all strive to be, to be happy for others, not jealous or mean-spirited or gossiping about them.

Be grateful for the space you're in right now...

Change your thoughts...change the world.

Be the change you want to see.

@TreadmillTreats

"Be the change you want to see"

@Treadmilltreats

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

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***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise

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[mooncakesofpan]

2,229 Miles

Billy Hargrove x Male!Reader

Summary: the Hargrove-Mayfield house hold maybe wasn't moving just to start over away from Max’s dad.

Warnings: Angst, strong language, Slurs, Reader gets manhandled (not by Billy), Neil's terrible and abusive parenting, Friends to lovers, He/Him pronouns, Violence, homophobia  

Word Count: 1.3K

Stranger things Masterlist | Main Masterlist 

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK

No one batted an eye at the close friendship that's been alive since 2nd grade when you decided you decided that a juice box and some cheese Tid Bit’s your mom packed for you. Of course, a lot of people had stopped being friends by the time 6th grade came around and Billy was beating the ass of anyone who looked at him the wrong way. Yet there you were being the friend having to reel him in. 

That day would always be fresh in your mind the first time Billy beat the shit out of a kid at school. Billy's fist had continued to pound into the face of Mike Campbell as everyone had tried to get Billy to stop punching the brunette on the floor who had commented on Billy’s mom leaving. No one could get him to stop while they were out on the school’s black top, except for you who with no fear tackles Billy off of Mike knowing he would be in more trouble if he had done any more damage than the black eye mike was sporting and the bloody nose that didn't seem to be broken. you could never forget the tears in Billy's eyes as he roughly wiped his eyes,

“He said, I'm probably the reason my mom left,” the 11-year-old said voice shaky,

“He shouldn't have said that to you,” your voice filled with sympathy.

Your family has been very close to Billy’s mom and your family offered her support when she needed it but she never told them where she was going but that she’d be back for Billy. that last part turned out to be a lie. Eventually, both of you were picked up Billy's dad was mad and yours was more confused about why they had to bring their son home even though he wasn't technically a part of the fight.

Billy acting out only ever got worse with the things going on at home, but you knew your friend was suffering and there wasn't much you could do for him, other than being there for you. When freshmen year hit, you and billy ended up in classes together still determined not to be split up. and for the most part, you didn't the only issue for you was you had fallen for Billy you fell back in 8th grade for your best friend, the boy who was in your life because of a cheese cracker. When the middle of freshmen year came and the truth came spilling out your mouth during a conversation about some of the girls in your class talking to Billy and throwing themselves at Him. You were jealous but you weren't gonna say anything till Billy asked why you were so quiet recently, while the two of you were in your room working changing your wheels on your skateboard.

“Because I'm fucking in love with you and constantly have these girls coming up to me all the time trying to be my friend to get close to you in hopes that you will fuck them,” you ramble.

 You were panicking about the fact you just confessed to your best friend not knowing how he would react. but before you knew could continue to ramble on with an apology Billy's lips were against yours. 

”Billy you know we can't tell anyone, especially your dad,” you said pulling away.

“I know it can be a secret,” he says leaning back in.

And that's what it was for a good few years then Neil married Susan and her and her daughter Max moved into the house, meaning much more sneaking around for the both of you. The first time you met Max you were leaving the house after you and Billy could have a bit of alone time again.

You walked down the stairs shrugging on the leather jacket you wore and almost ran into the young girl “uh hi,” she says surprised to see me in her house.

“hi I'm Y/n Billy’s friend,” you say shaking her hand.

“oh uh, I'm Max,”

“nice to meet you Max, Billy’s in his room if your curious,” and with that, you were out the door.

Max grew to like you the most out of Billy's you were nice, not as disturbing as the dirty blonde as you came around the house she realized how much you brought out the best in Billy and you tell him off for being mean to Max. and for the most part he would ease up on her.

Until Everything came crashing down.

you and Billy knew that you'd have to be careful and you two had been for a good 4 years but it was a spring day and you thought Neil and Susan were out and they weren't supposed to be home till later that night.

you and Billy were in his room in his bed his hand on your cheek and kissing you deeply the sounds of Metallica blasting in the background but you missed the sound of the door opening downstairs and Neil coming to Billy’s door the both of you two absorbed with each other to hear Neil pounding on the door suddenly slammed open, Leaving the both of you to jump apart.

 “I knew I couldn't trust you, and your little faggot ass,” Neil said grabbing you by the collar of your leather jacket 

”I Should have thrown you out of my house when the rumors first started should have kept you from my son” Neil kept yelling dragging you down the stairs you were struggling to fight against the Professional security guard.

He pulled you up so you were more standing at his front door “if I see you back here, I will kill you got it” you glared at him ”Got. it.” he repeated,

you got saliva collected in your mouth and with Neil being so close you spat in his face causing him to let you go

 “You. Little.- Get back here,” you were already running down the street your boots hitting the concrete. you and Billy spent more time in secret spots. Him saying he would hang out with his other friends and he would so they could give him an alibi but the day that broke you was the day Billy told you his dad decided they were moving almost immediately after Billy and You had been found in his room.

“Y/n we gotta talk,” Billy says

You were sitting on the beach it was the place you two would go during the summer to chill it was relatively peaceful.

You look at him eyes filled with fear maybe he was breaking up with you.

“My dads moving us to Indiana, something about a fresh start,” Billy said pushing around the sand. the sadness evident in your eyes you were the one person he felt like actually loved him.

“I'm sorry, this probably wouldn't have been happening if I had listened harder” ”don't blame yourself please,” Billy says running his hand there his hair. ” I plan to come back after I graduate, I can't expect you to wait for me but ill be back,” he said looking out to the water.

”that what 2000 and something miles,”

“2,229…” he said with a sigh.  ”Maybe I can visit we can do it in secret or- maybe we can, ” The words and ideas came spewing out your mouth in incoherence, as tears started down your face.

“hey it's okay ill write, call, even drive back down here and everything” of course you knew him driving wasn't gonna be an option Neil would have your head on a pike if billy drove down here. but the day before he left he showed up on your doorsteps. The knock on your door was rushed and the curly mullet pushed you back in your house slightly his lips quickly connecting with yours.

“we're gonna make it that 2229 miles alright, baby,” he said pretty blue eyes looking at you with adoration hands cupping your face. you nod tears rolling down your face.