#I told him I could talk anytime from 11 until the evening

[girlscience]

aaaaaa I just the most terrifying email of my life I was just chillin and now I am suffused with panic

[kaliforniahigh]

Can I request wedding night with Noah. Noah is experienced and reader has experience but hasn’t been intimate in a while (they had a bad time being intimate with someone else). They both agree to wait till their wedding night, reader is nervous and Noah comforts her and makes it amazing.

Hi, nonny! I've been thinking about this request and I decided to change it up a bit. Instead of making it their wedding night, I wrote them being intimate for the first time as a couple. Hope it's still good :)

Warnings: reader describes some situations revolving around sex that could be uncomfortable for some people, sexual harassment in previous relationships, smut (fingering, f receiving), dirty talk and reassurance <3 Noah is a sweet pea! I think that's it!

WC: 2.9k (not proofread yet!)

Requests are closed for now.

You haven't been in many serious relationships in your life, but you've dated around, and if you were being serious, you never had much luck with the guys you've been with. Specially in the sex department.

You figured that every man was the same at this point.

Most of the time, you felt like you were with them only to satisfy their sexual needs, because their sex drive was endless.

You were having a movie night? It had to end with sex.

Date night? It ends with sex.

And if you didn't want to have sex? "It's unfair, you could at least give me blowie, right?" they told you. You thought the situation was ridiculous and just decided to leave.

Noah was a nice guy from the beginning, but you felt like you were waiting for the switch to turn at every moment. When you started going out on dates, he drove you home and didn't expect you to kiss him or invite him up to your apartment.

When you were over at his place, having dinner and watching some series he was excited about, he didn't find a way to inconspicuously put your hand over his crotch.

He didn't talk about his past relationships or the girls he's been with in a degrading way.

You thought it was too good to be true, honestly. Eventually he was gonna wask you why you haven't made a move on him yet.

Truth is, you've been wanting to make a move on him for a while now.

It's been such a long time since you felt like you genuinely wanted to have sex with someone, not because you had to, but because you wanted to.

You obviously weren't blind to his good looks, but the way he treated you was what made you crazy for this man. He respected you and he never did anything to make you feel uncomfortable or unwanted. Quite the contrary, his flirting showed that he had as much interest in you as you had in him, but his actions were clear, he was gonna wait for you to make the first move.

The first time you felt bold enough was when you were over at his house. You planned a date night and he cooked for you. Then you sat on the couch, blanket draped over the both of you as you watched a movie.

Halfway through the film, rain started to fall outside, which soon turned into a full-blown storm. You thought it would pass by the time the movie ended, but it was persistent and the sky outside was a dark shade of grey, not giving signs of letting up anytime soon.

"I'm not letting you drive in this storm", Noah stated to you.

"I'll just wait until it passes to go home", you told him.

"Y/N", he looked at you "it's almost 11 at night, this storm is not passing anytime soon, and even if it did, it's already too late for you to drive home alone"

You sighed because you knew that what he said is true.

"Why don't you just sleep over tonight?", he proposed to you. "It's the weekend and you don't work tomorrow"

"Ok, I can just sleep here on the couch", you told him, but he gave you a look that told you he was not ok with what you just said.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch. I take the couch and you sleep on the bed", he said but you shook your head immediately.

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed, Noah", you kept shaking your head.

"Well, then, what are we gonna do about it, princess?", he said with a little teasing in his voice and a challenge in his eyes. You already knew what he wanted you to say.

"Is your bed big enough for us to share?", you asked.

"I'll take you upstairs and you can see for yourself", he got up, taking your hand in his and leading you up the stairs.

His room had light colored walls, and you recognized some of it from the times you facetimed him. You've been in his room before, but only in passing, but now you paid more attention to it. His bed seemed to be a queen size, enough to fit the two of you and leave some room to spare.

You rubbed your chin, as if thinking about the situation, then you turned to him and said "I guess we can both fit in there pretty well", and he grinned at your answer.

"I'll set aside some clothes for you to wear, then we can finish watching the movie here", he said, as he made his way to his closet.

You observed a little more and saw a television perched on the wall, right in front of his bed.

He set a Bad Omens shirt and some pants on the bed for you.

"I'll leave you to change", he turned around and exited the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

You striped from the clothes you were wearing and put the shirt on over your head. You noticed that it went well past your mid thighs. You knew Noah always wore and XL when it came to the band's merch, but you never realized how big it would be on you.

You eyed the pants and pondered over your next move. You could forgo the pants all together if you wanted to. You knew it was a bold move and you didn't want to come on too strong. But you also knew that you needed him to know you wanted this, that you wanted more.

So you folded the pants and set it aside on his computer chair, making your way out of the room and to the kitchen, where you found him drinking a cup of water.

He was mid sip when he noticed you standing there, almost choking on the water when he noticed you wearing only his shirt. He pulled himself together and said with a little cough "you look good in this shirt"

You smiled, looking down your body. "It's so big, I thought I didn't really need the pants. I hope that's ok"

"Y-yeah, it's fine. Whatever makes you comfortable", he scratched the back of his neck, thankful for his own long shirt, that way you didn't notice how rock hard he was under his pants. "I put a toothbrush on the bathroom counter for you", he decided to change the topic of conversation.

"Oh, thank you. I'll go get ready for bed then", you said and turned around, grinning all the way to the bathroom.

Meanwhile, Noah was waiting for you, laying on his bed and wondering how in the hell he would be able to share a bed with you, when only the mere sight of your half covered body made him become a nervous teenager all over again.

Should he put pillows between you? He didn't want you to feel weird about this, and he surely didn't want to wake up cuddling you, like it always happens in the movies.

He didn't have time to think about this for much longer, because seconds later, you were coming in the room, your hair up and your eyes already a little tired, looking mighty ready for bed.

"I thought maybe we should continue this movie some other day", he stated as you climbed onto your side of the bed. He tried not to stare at the way the shirt rode up your thighs.

"Yeah, I'm feeling a little tired myself", you got comfortable under the covers, laying on your side to look at Noah, who was laying on his back.

"Well then, good night, Y/N. Hope you sleep well", his head turned to the side to look at you.

"I will. Good night, Noah", you threw the words back at him. He reached on the other side and turned off the lamp, shrouding the room in darkness.

You both laid in the same positions for several minutes, knowing neither one of you was asleep.

You stretched your arms beside you, but your hand bumped into his. You didn't retreat, thinking it would be weird to move it away, so you let it stay there, softly brushing against his.

Seconds later, you felt his fingers softly start to brush over the back of your hand, eventually bringing them together and lacing your hands.

Your breath picked up a little, but decided you were gonna give him something in return. So you started to move your other hand up and down his arm, in a soothing motion, using your nails to softly scratch over his skin.

In the silence of the room, you heard his breath hitch. You moved closer to him on the bed, lips ghosting over the side of his neck. His chest was now moving rapidly.

"Noah...", you whispered into the silence of the room.

"Yeah", he aswered with his voice a little out of breath.

"Do you want this?", you said, hoping you weren't reading the situation entirely wrong. He moved his head to the side to look at you. Even in the darkness, you could see his intense, dark eyes staring into your soul.

The hand that wasn't on yours moved to rest on the side of your face. "I've never wanted anything more" he breathed back to you.

Wasting no more time, you leaned up on your elbow and crashed your lips to his. His grip on your face a little tighter now, keeping your lips close together. You both moved in sych and you don't remember ever feeling this flurry of emotions from a kiss before.

His tongue teased your lips and you opened them to grant him entrance to your mouth. He tasted like toothpaste and you probably did too. But the feeling of his lips on yours and his tongue exploring your mouth was something that was unmistakebly him. The way his hand felt on your skin was something you've never felt before. And suddently, you wanted to feel the rest of him.

Without breaking the kiss, you threw a leg over his waist, straddling him and both of his hands went to rest on your thighs, moving them up and down.

You were both a panting mess when you parted, and you had to keep yourself from moving your hips, desperatly wanting some friction.

"Can I take your shirt off?", he asked you, breathless.

"Yes, please", your voice had an edge of desperation, and that made him give you a little smirk in return, clearly pleased with the way he made you feel.

His hands made their way up, completely removing the cloth from your body, only to find out that you were completely bare underneath. Groaning, he threw the shirt somewhere on the floor.

"Can I touch these pretty tits of yours?", you nodded feverishly, but he wasn't satisfied with your answer. "I need you to tell me, baby"

"Yes, please. I want you to touch me, Noah", his need to hear your verbal consent was so sexy, you felt yourself getting even wetter.

"I appreciate you being such a polite girl for me, but you don't gotta say please all the time", he said, as his hand started to kned the skin of your breasts. "I'll give you whatever you want, don't gotta ask for it, baby"

"Sorry, just so used to it", you whined a little, both from his words and form the feeling of his big hands on you.

"I know, my sweet girl. Don't have to apologize", his hand traveled up and gripped the back of your neck, bringing you down to lay on top of him and bring your lips back together.

"You just lay on top of me and I'll make you feel really good, ok?", he whispered into your lips.

"Ok", you said as you got comfortable on top of him, grinding yourself on him in the process, the movement making you gasp.

"You're so sensitive, huh?", he teased, as his hands roamed all over your body, resting them over the skin of your ass, massaging the fat of your bum and making your ass jiggle a little.

As he ran his hands up and down your ass, the tips of his fingers teasingly ran over your clothed center, making you let out soft gasps and quiet moans. You held back from begging, remembering his words from earlier.

"Gonna pull your pretty little underwear to the side now, ok baby?" he asked you, and you nodded against his chest. He could feel your gasps on his skin.

"Yeah, wanna feel your fingers on me", you whined, longing for the feeling, the release.

You felt his finger hook under the fabric, as he slowly pulled it to the side, your pussy now exposed. You could feel how wet you were, as your skin came in contact with the coldness of the room.

He started with one finger, running up and down your slit. His other hand was on your head, running his finger over your scalp, the soothing motion giving you whiplash compared to his sensual movements.

"So wet for me, baby. I've been dreaming of feeling you top of me like this", he whispered in your ear, Your bodies were so close together, his breath fanning over the side of your face, the smell of him invading your senses. It was all a lot for you.

You couldn't help but grind your hips down on him, looking for something more.

"Want your fingers inside of me. Need them inside", you told him, eyes looking up at him.

"Yeah? Want them to stretch you open? I bet you would feel so tight around them", he said as he dipped one finger inside you, but he didn't move yet, he just kept it buried there.

You sighed in pleasure. His finger felt so deep inside of you.

He slowly started to move it in and out in a languid pace, finding no resistence at all, considering how turned on you were at the moment.

Soon enough, he added another one, the sensation something else completely. You hid your face in his neck, moaning into his skin, your hips now moving on their own accord. He wouldn't stop you, he loved the way you were so eager to feel the pleasure he was giving you.

The noises filling the room were indecent, the moans coming out of your mouth and the squelching sounds from between your legs.

At one moment, he completely stilled his fingers inside you, moving them in a come hither motion, and you could see stars from how good it felt. The sensation almost sending you over the edge.

"Noah", your voice was completely wrecked, you couldn't keep quiet even if you tried.

"Yes, pretty girl", he regarded you, voice just as broken as yours.

"I'm gonna cum", you stopped what you were saying when his fingers reached a particular spot inside of you, making your head go blank for a second, until you remembered what you were after. "Can I cum? Please let me cum", you begged.

"You don't gotta ask, remember? Just make a mess all over my fingers"

That was all you needed to finally let the feeling take over your whole body. He could feel your walls clenching around his fingers and you writhed on top of him. He kept the motions until the feeling was too much for you. He pulled out his fingers and rested his hands on your back.

Almost his whole hand felt wet on your skin, but you couldn't care less, your body was completely spent and you let yourself slump on top of him for a second to catch your breath.

Not too long after though, you started to make your way down his body, looking to pleasure him just like he did for you.

He complained and kept you in place with his hands on your hips.

"What are you doing?", he asked, voice a little groggy.

"Wanna make you feel good?", you thought it was obvious. Now was his turn.

"No, just stay here, please", you looked at him with a puzzled face. Surely he wasn't turning down a blowie, right?

"But I wanna make you cum", you stated. He opened his eyes and looked at you a little sheepishly.

"Already did, baby", he said with a little smile on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I just came in my pants from how hot you looked on top of me, begging to cum like that", he wasn't bashful or ashamed to admit this, but your cheeks flushed a little at his admission.

And sure enough, as you looked down, you saw a larger than normal wet patch on his sweatpants.

"Now, lay back down, please. Wanna feel you for a little longer before we gotta get up and clean ourselves"

You happily laid your head back down on his chest, feeling the most content you've felt in a while. You finally loved having sex again. You loved the way he made you feel even when his fingers weren't making you go completely mad from pleasure. You loved the way he focused on you and how good he was making you feel without looking for something in return.

You closed your eyes, and you had a feeling that neither one of you was getting up from this bed anytime soon.

[velarisnightsky444]

Scorched Shadows: Part 3

Eris x Azriel'sSister!Reader

Summary: Y/N is the younger sister of Azriel. She has shadows just like him, and is also a spymaster for Rhys. When she meets Eris, she initially hates him, but after a bargain is made between them, things begin heating up. This takes place before Under the Mountain.

Warnings: overbearing brothers

Series Masterlist

Part 2 || Part 4

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Year 3

Morrigan had never been overprotective of you like your brothers were.

You'd been six when you and Azriel were released from that cell and taken to Windhaven. You were the youngest, and everyone treated you as such.

But never Morrigan.

The day you turned 16, Morrigan had dragged you to a bar to get wasted with her. Rhys’s mother had sent you both to the cabin for a week after that.

But with Morrigan, you could speak freely. You didn’t have to worry about scandalizing her like you did with your brothers. You could barely say a bad word around them without them acting like you'd killed somebody. To them, you were still the scared little girl who didn’t speak until she was 11.

“Mor, you’re still hungover, we’re not going out again tonight,” you scolded the female. She pouted.

“Getting drunk is exactly what I need to get rid of this hangover,” she insisted. You giggled as your shadows swirled around her.

Rhys’s talons gently caressed your mind, and you let them in.

Come to my office, now.

You tried to keep from being anxious at the tone. You got to your feet, explaining to Mor that you’d be back.

Your shadows were giving you no intel as you made your way to his office, and his talons never left your mind.

You recalled when you were first brought to Windhaven, how terrified you’d been. You didn’t speak back then, and they were all concerned about you.

The first time you’d had to leave Azriel’s side in your entire life was his first day of training. You had been so upset with no way to express it.

Rhys had caressed your mind, thinking it would help. But it had terrified you, and you'd thrown a screaming fit that only his mother had been able to calm.

For years, you would cry anytime he tried to enter your mind. But centuries later, you had become used to it.

“What’s going on?” you asked as you finally entered the office.

All three of your brothers were there, and none of them looked happy.

They’re upset, a shadow whispered.

No shit, you replied. You winced as it tugged a strand of your hair in response.

“We’ve received a letter from Eris Vanserra,” Rhys announced, holding it up.

You chewed on your bottom lip, anxiety eating at your gut.

“He invites you to a ball being thrown in his honor,” Rhys explained. “According to him, you owe him a favor.”

“Shit,” you grumbled, earning a raised brow from Cassian.

“Why don’t you tell us exactly why you owe him a favor, dear sister?” Rhys asked you, setting the letter down.

“A few weeks ago, when I went to meet with Graham, Eris found me waiting,” you admitted. “He told me Graham had been beheaded.”

“And you didn’t tell us?”

“I did tell you!” you objected.

“No, you told us your shadows informed you of Graham’s death,” Azriel corrected. “And you certainly didn’t mention Eris Vanserra.”

“I knew it’d just upset you all,” you explained.

“Damn right,” Cassian agreed, narrowing his eyes.

“Why do you owe him a favor, Y/N?” Rhys demanded, impatience wearing his voice thin.

“I said if he didn’t turn me into his father, I’d owe him a favor,” you explained, sighing.

“Well, you’re not going to this ball,” Azriel decided. You glared at him.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you snapped.

»»————-　♔　————-««

You liked to talk to the portrait of Rhys's mother nearly every Sunday. It was stupid, but you enjoyed catching her up on your week. Even the mundane details.

Rhys's mother, Selene, had been everything to you. She was never a replacement for your own mother, but you still loved her like one. And she loved you like a daughter. She had rescued you from your father's keep after Azriel had been sent to Windhaven, you left behind to rot in that cell, only six years old and all alone. 

“I just hate how overbearing they are,” you were telling her. “I didn’t even want to go to this ball, but now that they’re forbidding it, I have half a mind to go.”

Her beautiful, violet eyes stared back at you. Even if it was just a painting, it was comforting.

“I hate Eris, but I hate being told what to do more,” you went on. “You know that better than anyone. The only thing holding me back is it might hurt Morrigan if I go.”

Every interaction you had with him, you thought of your cousin. Your best friend. Guilt would eat at you with every word you said to him.

“But she might understand,” you debated. “I’m just doing it to spite my brothers. She does things to spite her family all the time.”

It may not have been a fair comparison, but it was true.

“You would never have forbade me from a ball,” you mumbled. “I miss you.”

»»————-　♔　————-««

Scorched Shadows Taglist: @the-sweet-psycho @hnyclover @lilyevansstudygroup @esposadomd

Eris Taglist:

Comment to be added to the Scorched Shadows or Eris taglists!

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[thesweetnessofspring]

Why do you think Peeta doesn't talk to Katniss between age 11/12 (the bread scene) until after the reaping? Thank you

@curiousnonny

I think the answer, in part, lies in this exchange from Mockingjay. Peeta has told Katniss he remembers the bread:

"We were outside at the end of the day. I tried to catch your eye. You looked away. And then...for some reason, I think you picked a dandelion." I nod. He does remember. I have never spoken that moment aloud. "I must have loved you a lot." "You did." My voice catches and I pretend to cough. "And did you love me?" he asks. I keep my eyes on the tiled floor. "Everyone says I did. That's why Snow had you tortured. To break me."

Peeta pretty consistently shows that he engages in his relationship with Katniss with her consent to the degree that is possible at the time. The Games complicate this dynamic, of course, and so her consent comes through being compelled to respond to his declaration and the audience's expectations, but at the same time, she is attracted to Peeta and likes him/his company. For things in their control, however, we have Peeta saying things like "Remember, we're supposed to be madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it" and asking her if being friends in CF would work for her. Katniss describes their sleeping arrangement as "let[ting] him into my bed," and on the rooftop when Peeta wants to freeze the moment he says, "if you'll allow it." After the QQ interview, one of the couple times he doesn't seek her consent first, he asks her if he has anything to apologize for. Even here above, he's looking for what she feels. There's a lot going on in his mind and if she said yes who knows if he would have believed her, but it's another example of Peeta searching to know Katniss.

So what was Peeta waiting for all of those years? Katniss's consent, or at least an invitation.

He says he tried to catch her eye. He probably saw this as a moment they might connect. She might give him a smile or hold his gaze, and he would know it was okay to approach her, to say something. But instead, she looks away. Her focus is on a dandelion, not him. He has no idea what's really going on in her head, so he takes this as her way of saying "I'm not interested in talking to you."

And Katniss says she catches his eyes flitting away from her. It could be a boy catching a glimpse of his crush, but he could have been trying to catch her eye and when she doesn't respond with a friendly expression, he moves on. Thinks, maybe some other time. Only he runs out of time and they're brought together by the Games.

[aquanova99]

Haunted (Cato x Reader)

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Part 7

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A/N: Im sorry its taken so long I am trying to wrap up book one but how do I change it and leave out unnecessary details... I'm working on it

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Cato’s POV

The room was tense. Seeder’s gift was sure to draw some attention. Rumors swirled around Rue’s death sparking anger in District 11. While the victors had become friendly throughout the years of mentoring bringing them together it wasn’t a common theme to grieve over other tributes like this. From the same district, maybe. Then again, alliances did not normally cross over between more than one district outside of District 1,2, and 4. The mentors whispered what her actions would bring upon them. Haymitch had been in and out of the shared viewing room. Only talking to Chaff a handful of times.

 You’d been largely silent focused on the screen anytime y/n came into view. She was stone faced the morning after Rue and Marvels death. To someone from the capitol it could seem that she was simply waiting for the next canon to go off, but it would have been a stretch. Anyone with half a brain could see she was in a catatonic state. You wondered if Thresh really believed Marvel had gotten help in his endeavor with Rue. Likely not, Thresh seemed shaken up enough that he seemed the type to avenge his tiny friend and from what you saw he had made his way to the part of the arena covered in a field of wheat. If he knew about the dangers it was as a good place as any, you certainly wouldn’t have chased him out there.

Cashmere decides to sit next to you, clearing her throat and wakes you out of trance you seem to keep finding yourself in. She doesn’t speak to anyone in particular, but you know she’s directing every word to you. “She’s different, that one. We will have to help her when she comes back.”

“Don’t all tributes get that, mentors for the first year.”

“Hm? I don’t know what you mean, I must have been thinking out loud. It would be a shame if she couldn’t dig herself out. We don’t want her to go through the same thing Annie did.” With that Cashmere floated away. Annie. The girl from 4. She had come out a little more messed up  than the usual victor, dissociating completely in certain situations as if she was somewhere totally different. Finnick had taken upon himself to help her get through her spells, and as much as he could try and hide the pair had grown dependent on the other, completely and totally in love with each other. It was easy to ignore everything when they were home, but Finnick was often called away and playing the role that was forced on anyone who had received help from sponsors. Even those who got nothing could be forced into keeping some annoying capitol citizen ‘company.’ You remember it had only been a month after you had gotten out of your own games. You still hadn’t left the arena, I guess that was your own fault for finishing so quickly, it never processed right. The woman…you couldn’t remember her name, you barely remembered her face, all you saw was a threat. You’d broken her arm the second she touched you, and then…well its lucky there were more people hanging around because before you knew it you were unconscious.

Killer Cato. The only good that came from that name is that until Brutus and Enobaria deemed you safe you were lucky enough to avoid traveling back and forth to the capitol. Most of the time the tributes were allowed to live their life as victor peacefully until the victory tour, most of the time. Some victors like the morphlings or the ones who weren’t conventionally attractive or maybe the ones who got lucky and survived the games on their own were left to their own devices. Most of tributes from 1, 2, and 4 were asked and more often than not told to pay a visit to the generous people of the capitol more quickly than the others. Unless she did something unappealing to the viewers y/n would probably suffer the same fate. Cashmere’s words soothed you, maybe there would be a way to keep her away from that life for now. Seeing as she risked her life for family, or something close to family, its likely the threats the capitol offered would force her to comply…These feelings were weird. You didn’t understand why it mattered. If she won you would only see her once a year once you were both mentors. Out of all of the tributes, she seemed like she had the best head to win, that’s all. Right? Maybe you can get some use out of the training center.

Hours go by, and it’s a slow day. The gamemakers are going to have to do something to pull them together, Y/ns eyes are hollow as she sits by the fire, seemingly waiting for anyone to come find her. They don’t. Arioch and Clove wont be lured by something so similar to what destroyed their supplies and killed an ally, not yet anyway. You wonder if Clove and Arioch had realized he had been ready to turn against Arioch, if they did neither showed any sign of doubting him. The red-headed girl is still spying on them, waiting for an opportune time to try and steal whatever foods been handed to them by the sponsors. Clove had been keeping Arioch calm, but he was getting angry. Lyme was only giving what was absolutely necessary for them to eat. She worried they wouldn’t be able to ration it properly and judging by how annoyed Arioch was getting she was right. It was clear he was fond enough of Clove that he knocked it off whenever she would say something about it but she had her fair share of complaints. You were shocked no one had gone where Thresh was hidden, it seemed to be abundant with food. If you knew about it anyway, which you were almost positive your tributes wouldn’t. The academy you trained for the games had classes on interviews, deadly snares and traps, and the biggest majority fighting, there were also classes for food and foraging but it was never forced. And realistically, you never needed to know about that, seeing as there was always a steady stream of sponsors willing to bet on your districts training.

Then finally as everyone is ready or already retiring to their rooms for a night of unrestful sleep, the trumpets sound. Haymitch sits back down in a spot next to you, a his hands clenched together as he rests his arms on his knees. Not even looking at his screen. You realize he knows what is about to happen, what the announcement will be. And you couldn’t have been more wrong. Claudius Templesmith has an announcement. You expected a feast, something to give Peeta a chance but no, the words ‘rule change’ freezes every victor left in the room. You realize why Haymitch has been largely absent today. You realize Peeta’s one sided pining has worked, and you also realize that maybe, it wasn’t so one sided, she’s teary eyed as his name leaves her lips the second the announcement is over.

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Y/ns POV

You were about to be sick again. You had never felt so conflicted. You should wait until morning. Every instinct screamed at you to not be so reckless.  You couldn’t sit still, couldn’t sleep. You had your night glasses anyway…the ones Thresh had told you about. Thresh. The one who could have had an ally had you been able to save Rue. Rue. The young girl who could have made it if she hadn’t teamed up with you. Really it was the tributes of District 11 that originally urge your feet forward. You felt a guilt begin overing you under a weight that seemed to be getting heavier to shake off the more you allowed yourself to think of either of them. And Peeta. You could have ruined everything. He had continued playing up the star crossed lovers, why else would the gamemakers make a rule change like this. You move quickly and silently, theres only one place he could be, really. Arioch had gotten in your head, if Peeta was really that badly injured you may not have much time left, and you’d be damned if you lost anyone else. You only stop to rest when you’re close enough to the stream that you hope you’ll be able to hear or see Peeta.

The second daylight hits your still weary eyes you sit up. It stirs you from a rather unfulfilling sleep  and you are off to try and find Peeta again. You almost give up several times before you manage to find that blood-streaked boulder. Hes close. He has to be.

You were amazed how even near death Peeta seemed to have his sense of humor intact. In other news, you suddenly remembered how much you hated the act of cleaning wounds.

“Something wrong?” He asks after seeing my face.

“Shut up.” Peeta laughs as you try not gag while cleaning his wound.

“How do you manage to kill anything around here?”

“You never know, I may be killing you as we speak.”

“Cant you just use that spear?”

“My food isn’t draining pus all over me. Blood I can handle.” You shove him some dried fruit and continue working on him. Its clear the wound is far above any medical capabilities you thought you had. After working on his leg for an hour you are finally able to wrap, and all you can do is hope for the best.

“I need to clean your…undershorts.”

“Okay.” He says it so calmly you grit your teeth, you’ve cried too much in that past couple of days for nakedness to be another thing on an ever growing list that makes you squeamish. You just avoid looking in his direction while he takes them off and turn your back to him as you get cleaning. “So no pus, but nakedness is okay? Or are you just being stubborn like how you were with Haymitch?”

“Speaking of…have you gotten anything?”

“No, what did you get?”

“Burn medicine.” You don’t need to say anything about the bread its an unnecessary truth. “It was when it was earlier in the games so he could probably afford it then.”

“Uh huh, not because you’re his favorite or anything.” You’re unsure what to say. You cant deny you and Haymitch understand each other on a different level. And survival wise, you could outlast anyone here. Maybe he could only bet on one of you. But with the rule change… ugh the whole rule change. The capitol has to be waiting for you to kiss him or love him. I mean youre washing his damn underwear, cant that be enough.

“I bet you he’ll send you something when he can.”

“Its okay Y/N, besides I know what will make me feel better.”

“Me too. Medicine.”

“No, you. I mean obviously you’re doing something right.”

 You toss him some damp clothes to put back on. “Lets hope I am and your fever breaks.”

“Seriously thanks for coming back for me, I know you didn’t hav—” You cut him off and hugged  him as tight as you could

“Just get better okay.” Because you did want him to get better. Whatever the reason was, the gamemakers are falling for his pining and giving you a chance to return it. Honestly after everything that happened with Rue, you kept thinking back to his words the night before the game. And this was something the games wouldn’t change. You weren’t in love with Peeta, and you couldn’t pretend. He was more of a family member or friend you would do almost anything for. But kissing him would feel wrong, be wrong. A hug is as much as the capitol would get for now, if your feelings changed later and you both made it out of here maybe you could play along.

“Is that all I get.”

“Get better and then maybe, maybe you get more.”

“I’ll take what I can get.” Peeta was so good at this. It didn’t take him long to doze off. You take the time to collect more water and hunt for anything near the stream. You know through the slower moving parts the fish could be easy pickings. You debate staying with Peeta, but you both need something in your system. Maybe you should let him rest, but you cant hunt for anything with him out in the open. You relent after about an hour and coax him into walking with you down the stream, as long as he can anyway. You comfort him as he gathers whatever strength he has left and when hes ready you find a small cave like formation a little way above the stream. You let him sleep and work on making the cave as unnoticeable as you possibly can. You let him sleep and work on making the cave as unnoticeable as you possibly. You manage to further downstream and pick off a few fish where the water is slow. You try to ignore how badly you missed a few times and instead try to figure out how to make yourself more appealing to any possible sponsors, you cant tell him you love him but if you cant give him medicine, maybe you can give him hope. The audience might turn their indifference into pity if you could make them believe that you cant allow yourself to fall in love yet. You take a deep, dramatic breath before entering the cave.

Peeta is still sound asleep in your sleeping bag. Good. It will be easier to do this when hes not fully coherent. You crouch besides him and brush a strand of hair away from his face, you try to show your hesitation, tapping your fingers and shaking your leg before shaking your head and kissing him on the cheek. A cheek that is rapidly raising in temperature.

Peeta stirs, “Mm Y/n?”

“I caught us some fish.”

“Thanks for finding me,”

“It’s the least I could do. Just get better for me, okay?”

“You know what would really make me feel better?” You roll your eyes, he is much better at playing the lovestruck boy than you could ever hope.

“You already got one. But if you actually get better…” then what? You don’t want to kiss him, “then maybe.” That’s the best you can do for now.

“I’ll take it.” He smiles at you. You can tell the fever medication you have is having next to effect on him. If he doesn’t get medicine soon he’s going to die. You both know it. You hear a soft crunch of leaves and you’re up in an instant. Peeta grabs your hand to try and stop you from doing anything dangerous, you squeeze his hand and put the other on his cheek. You then quickly grab your knife and sneak to the edge of the cave, you try not to laugh when you see the silver parachute at the foot of the entrance. Haymitch is obviously rewarding your actions. Not that they aren’t out of real concern but regardless its clear that hes going to keep pushing for you to act like this if its what sends you food. Realistically, what you want is medicine but you aren’t likely to get that at this stage in the game.

“Hey Peeta! Looks like Haymitch decided to send you something after all.” You are able to convince him its for him soup is easier for him to eat, otherwise he would have sent actual food. It seems to make sense to him anyway. Apparently even soup is a struggle for Peeta, “And here I thought you wanted to get better, I guess no kisses for you.”

“Not fair.”

“Please Peeta, you have to get better.” It takes entirely too long for him to stomach the tiny pot of broth. Once he sleeps, you put the last of your bandage supply left on his warm forehead. Great. Now you wish you had made out with more in the arena before you blew it up. Whatever. You could mope while you kept watch since its all you could do for now. Anything else is just hope that the audience enjoyed what you did today.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Cato’s POV

Haymitch continues to go in and out of the room. If this had anything to do with the rule change, you can only hope he continues doing it. Y/n finished telling a story about her and her brother scrounging around their house to look for anything valuable to sell to buy their younger brother something for his birthday. To probably most people, it should be clear she had some other way to get their brother an old guitar. Music is something that seems relatively prevalent in her house, you think back to her singing with Rue. You wonder how often she’s gone without eating to feed someone else in her family, she was barely sleeping to continue to check on the boy from her district. For some reason the kiss she gave him kept replaying in your brain. He was definitely hurting her chances of making it, but its clear she struggles to not help out other tributes. That probably isn’t making Snow very happy. The concern on her face grows as she finishes her story and rechecks Peetas leg, which won’t make it without any medicine soon.

She cleans the bandage again, clearly not helping make a dent in his fever. They both know the blood poisoning will take him out soon if the games don’t end in a matter of maybe two days tops. And after the camera has shown Thresh doing quite well…it doesn’t seem like Peeta would be the one to outlast his fellow tributes. Haymitch almost collapses into the couch, you’re shocked he doesn’t spill the whiskey in his glass.

“You alr—” you try to ask before he puts one finger up, effectively quieting you while he takes a sip. Guess he’s doing worse than you thought.

“Its too expensive.”

“The medicine.” Its meant to be a question but you know the price is too much for any sponsor to fork over.

“Hopefully Effie and her gaggle of friends have gossiped enough to get an idea to the gamemakers.” Almost on cue the trumpets sound an announcement. When Claudius Templesmith begins speaking Haymitch laughs to himself, “Sometimes I think I might actually love that woman.”

Just as quickly as relief hits, Peeta threatens to follow Y/n to the banquet. Haymitch mutters something about Peeta making everything difficult and steps out again. You think how hard it must be to do this alone all these years. Most all of the other districts have someone else to divide the work out. Haymitch looked as tired as his tributes in the arena. Maybe ten minutes pass before he stumbles back into the viewing room. You just hold out some kind of spirit in a cup. He raises it to you before letting his head fall back.

“Nothing else I can do.” Y/n has been arguing with Peeta on letting her go to the cornucopia. The small vial meant nothing to you but Y/n stared at it for a long while before going back to the cave.

‘I guess I don’t have to go to the feast after all. Haymitch sent you some medicine.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah it says to take it like a shot. But it smells nasty. You’re stomach will probably try and reject it.’

‘I’m sure it wont.’ He snatched the vial with what little strength he had. You didn’t miss the smirk she had as he tried quickly drank it back. She played a big gamble on his ego and it paid off. She immediately plugged his nose and covered his mouth before he spit anything out. The effort was already draining the little energy he had, his attempt to force himself to throw didn’t help.

‘I’ll be back before you know it.’ Peetas anger reached all the way to the capitol. His eyes brimmed with fury as sleep overtook him. Y/n was smug at her victory, but she quickly leaned over him. Fussing over the sleeping bag covering him, cleaning any remaining medicine on his face, brushing his now sweat soaked hair from his face. ‘I hope you know I had to. I need you to make it.’

You watch as she presses her lip against his and try to find some logical reason on why you suddenly feel the need to go hit something. Y/n wastes no time. She starts arranging the cave to be almost undetectable. Luckily, she had been working on it before, as she finishes quickly. She walks for awhile and sets up a fire, with dusk settling it gives her good cover and she has time to cook everything she had caught the past day, making a decent meal of rabbit and fish. She finishes and fills the water containers when she gets back to the cave before allowing herself to sleep again. She only allows herself a few hours. You find yourself worrying about her lack of sleep.

The camera pans to the other districts again. The girl from five is starving and damn near freezing to death. Her item will definitely be something to protect her from the weather. Cato and Clove are cold too, their breaths making small white clouds, but they have the experience with cold weather training. Thresh seems fine too. You wonder what will be in store for those three.

‘Come on. I promise to make it a good show.’

‘No way. I kill her.’

‘Don’t be like that. You’ve killed almost everyone else we’ve dealt with and since you missed loverboy, its only fair I get a shot at her now.’

You don’t have to wonder who they’re talking about.

…’You’ll drag it out.’

‘Of course, when I’m done with her they’ll forget why they were ever rooting for her in the first place.’

‘Good thing you’re on my side, Clove.’ He chuckles, Clove grins with a sense of pride

‘So I can do it??’ Too excited, you think

‘Yeah sure.’

You didn’t expect Clove to do anything else. One of her critiques from the academy was quite literally how she wasted too much time making a show of things. She needed to prove she belonged. Its why all of you were shocked when she was the one picked from your district and not another eighteen year old to match Ariochs anger. Then again, if Arioch had another one of him out there they would have torn eachother apart before getting out of the blood bath. Probably over who got a certain kill.

Y/n began her journey back to the cornucopia. You wondered why she walked somewhat sideways until you remembered the big explosion. The ear must have been permanently damaged, or damaged until she made it back. She stopped more often than not to make sure she was hearing correctly. There was nothing. She arrived to her original hiding spot with no issue, with the glasses she slowly moved as close as she could. Arioch and Clove had sought out the space closest to the lake, which ended up helping Cora, the girl from five. She had snuck around the other side of giant cornucopia, hiding inside and ensuring she would be the closest to the feast the second the table appeared. Thresh was at the biggest disadvantage, positioning himself at the back of the cornucopia, He would need to listen for when the table came up because he definitely could not see from there.

District 5 had the right idea. Y/N realizes this the second she runs off. She wastes no time and runs in immediately after and grabs the tiny bag for her district, unfortunately Clove comes to the same realization. Y/n tries to follow District five but it’s clear Clove will be there before she can run off. You wonder why she only brought her knives but then again, the other weapons would require more time for her to aim and might end up hindering her. Cloves first knife is knocked away. You’re sure Y/ns cut up at least a little but not enough to stop her. She throws her own knife and it lands in Cloves right shoulder. Fortunately, that’s the arm she throws with. Unfortunately, this incites a rage you werent aware she had. She yanks the knife out, and switches it to her other hand quickly. Her aim is off now, and the knife whizzes past y/ns head. Y/n makes the mistake to look at where the knife landed and in that second Clove is tackling her to the ground. You remember your conversations on the roof that seem so long ago, and know she wont make it out of this. Your heart sinks to your stomach. Clove begins relishing in this, she knows this information just as well and is going to make her suffer just like she said she would.

‘Well if it isn’t the girl on fire. Whats the matter 12, worried about getting the medicine to loverboy?’

‘Worried about getting your screentime?’ She smirked until Clove threw a relatively soft punch considering her arm was clearly struggling to lift itself.

‘Not at all, I promised to give the audience a good show. Its funny because if it was Arioch right now, he’d probably finish you off pretty quickly. Would that be better for you? To go as quickly as your pathetic little friend?’

The mention of Rue has her struggling to unseat Clove with no avail, ‘Shut up. You don’t get to talk about her.’

‘The girl who hopped around in the trees. Rue? Well, we took care of her, and nature will take care of loverboy. and now I’m going to take care of you. Now, where to start?’ Y/n lifts her head trying to do anything to get Cloves balance off just to get a better chance of getting out of there. Clove is taking delight in her struggle, ‘I think we’ll start with your mouth. Make sure you blow loverboy one last kiss.’

‘Wow so clever. But if I can only say one last thing…’ Clove is puzzled for only a second more before Y/n spits in her face.

Clove gets one more punch as Y/n continues to struggle. When her nose begins to bleed she stills becoming unblinking, staring down her last opponent. You see Thresh coming up to the table freezing as he hears the entire conversation. ‘Lets start then,’

She barely leans over to trace the outline of Y/ns lips before he yanks her off his former ally. Flinging her to the ground. ‘You’re the one who killed her??’

Clove begins scooting backward, frantic at another opponent she clearly did not expect. Arioch had begun looking for another tribute where Y/n ran out of and was only now heading back to his original hiding spot.

‘No! No, it wasn’t me.!’

Thresh picks her up again holding her against the cornucopia. ‘I heard you!’

Arioch is already beginning to run as Clove begins screaming for help. He answers her but he’s too far. Thresh smashes her into the cornucopia. Y/n is still sat as she looks up in shock. Cloves body has the slightest moan escaping her lips. You look away, hating that the death wasn’t quick that somewhere in her mind she feels the pain coursing through her body. Your eyes snap up when Thresh speaks again.

‘Just this time Y/n. For Rue.’

Y/n eyes look at the two bags he has, ‘Don’t do it Thresh. Its not worth it.’

‘Clove!’ Ariochs voice makes Y/ns stand in a defensive position.

‘You better run now, Fire Girl.’ Y/ns scrambles to collect her knives and begins to run. She pauses when she hits the edge of the forest. Thresh has run off with both backpacks which could be a really smart or really stupid move. She looks at a frozen Arioch leaning over Clove and continues to run towards Peeta.

Y/n makes several stops as she runs towards Peeta, once to make sure her nose had stopped bleeding, it had. Once to see if her arm had stopped, it had not. She squeezed it shut until her feet hit the stream. She stops several more times to bend over and hold her head. You assume she is getting dizzy. The punch probably giving her an effect of a concussion. Every time she stands again she seems to have trouble getting her bearings but she makes it to the cave. Her hands shake as she struggles to open the small box, it contains one needle. She fumbles to unzip the sleeping bag and the second Peetas arm is exposed Y/n tries to center the shot. She has to take several deep breaths to calm the adrenaline that is sure to be coursing through her body, her hands are still shaking but she is able to slowly press down on the needle’s plunger. When shes finished she throws it across the cave and curls up into a ball, finally succumbing to the sleep that’s been eluding her since finding Peeta.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Y/N’s POV

You couldn’t cry, not again. You’ve cried too much in these games. One, its embarrassing, two the capitol cannot have another excuse to make you look weak. So when Peeta tells you Thresh’s picture is in the sky you ask if he can take the first watch and you cover your face with the sleeping bag until the tears stops falling. You have a feeling Peeta understands, but to what extent?

You’d woken up to the sound of the anthem. Peeta stroking your hair like you had done to him when he had been sick. You had to explain how you had worked with District 11. How Thresh moved you to a safe location after the tracker jackers, how you had helped fix his shoulder, how you’d gotten them both food and blew up the career’s supply, and the worst part…the part you didn’t want to ever discuss, Rue. Peeta had made a remark about how he must have felt like your alliance was still technically in place since Arioch and Clove had still been around. But you knew deep down, that it wasn’t about you, but Rue. The feast you had gotten for excitedly hugging Peeta and peppering his face with light kisses had suddenly turned to lead in your stomach. You had pretended to get caught up in the moment, and apparently, it had been enough for Haymitch to let you both eat real food while hiding in the downpour that had been happening the last couple of days.

Under the sleeping bag you think about anything besides your fallen allies. So you retrace the events leading up to the meal, the kisses, Peetas retelling of how he fell in love with you…well how he fell in love with Katniss. You had been friends with Katniss long ago, when you were both really young, and the memory albeit fuzzy was there of a young more cheerful Katniss telling you all about how she sang the valley song for her class. Then the mining incident happened, and the resentment that your father was one of the few to make it while hers was gone forever drove a divisible wedge. After that, it felt wrong to compare situations. Without your own father being able to work, you had lost him too. Pride had made him bitter and somewhat cruel, and he refused to work. Your mother was so focused on rehabilitating him, it fell on you to help your brothers. You remember how your father said nothing before you left, except to make himself seem like somewhat of a hero. You had once thought about how different you and Katniss had grown to get to the same indifference towards your parents. You could barely manage to be in the same room with your father while Katniss still held him in the highest regards, you at best felt pity for your mother for being tied to someone who believed he was better than everyone. Katniss for lack of better words, hated her mother for the abandonment. You were so similar you wished everyday you could restart the friendship you two had had long ago, you also wonder what she makes of this whole act and Peetas story that so clearly reference her. He was great at changing small details to make it plausible. You had just promised him that when you both made it out of there he could take you on an actual date, playing enough to keep the audience’s hopes up, well and Peeta kept poking fun at you saying he was planning on going all out when you got out. Regardless, you both played on this story and got the incredible food that you were trying to inhale before he looked outside the cave and saw Thresh’s picture in the sky.

Thresh. You should have told him about that extra backpack you’d hidden in the beginning of the game. Stopped him from taking Ariochs backpack. He was sure to have made Threshs death slow…and painful. You think about the last time you ever saw him he finally used your name. The capitol food threatens to make a reappearance. You give Peeta one of your knives, tell him to hide it in unless he absolutely needs it. He could train with the arrows tomorrow because honestly, you weren’t proving to be very good with it. You wonder if Katniss was irritated at how poorly you aimed, you wonder if she would train you on it when you got home. You wondered if you could be friends again. You focus on that instead of the sleep that’s eluding you again now that you’re thinking of Thresh’s murder. Now all you had was Cora and Arioch. Arioch you could handle, Cora…you remember how she almost agreed to be allies, and had least said you wouldn’t gun for each other.

Eventually, Peeta wakes you so you can keep watch. You comply soundlessly. You’re so thankful you aren’t alone anymore because really, you were barely making by before the rule change. You were tired of killing, you didn’t need anymore blood on your hands. Of course, this is the hunger games, and you knew that likely you wouldn’t have a choice.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Catos POV

Peeta had proven being kind could save your life in the game. You saw Y/n’s panic as she spun around expecting Peeta to have eaten those berries. Instead, they find the District 5 girl. Y/n cleans the berry stains from her mouth and hands, and closes her sunken, hollow eyes before trying to move Peeta along. He meanwhile, was waiting for the two of them to be able to eat together, really he’s quite lucky, most people would have snacked on the berries before meeting back up with an ally. His naivete, sparing him a quick death. She claimed she wanted to get some space before Arioch barreled through the woods but likely, she was uncomfortable with another dead tribute. She needed to compartmentalize. The capitol wouldn’t like how torn she seemed everytime a picture was shown in the sky.

You noticed Haymitch was all but telling her to accept Peetas affection. She seemed to be trying to suppress her attraction to the guy, but you were unsure how much of it was an act. It was clear the audience was going crazy over what they saw as fear of losing someone she was in love with. Fear of admitting something that was too good to be true. Their return would ensure the two of them would be forced to get into a relationship immediately. You wondered if they could keep up the whole pretense.

In the real world the victors we’re headed back to their respective floors for dinner. You and Enobaria went to the couch while Brutus went on about how Arioch would win out.

The temperature was dropping quickly too quickly. This was the finale. Everyone would have work off tomorrow throughout all of the districts. And Arioch now had the advantage of complete body armor. Seemed a little unfair but I guess it was two against one. Peeta was about as good as Glimmer with the bow and arrow. Y/N held Marvels spear as they headed to the cornucopia. The camera pans to Arioch confidently walking deeper into the forest where the girl from district five was picked up. He’d been hunting since brutally torturing Thresh in the downpour. The fight could go either way, but Arioch was going on pure rage and vengeance. He made the death painfully slow, making cuts that individually wouldn’t kill anyone. Thresh fought back well, the weapon and armor he had stolen came in handy. The rain however made it hard for him to see clearly and Arioch still had the glasses. You were somewhat surprised when Arioch didn’t scream his success after finishing him off.

The gamemakers has quieted the background noise they had going on. The snarling was unmistakable. You could hear whatever creature was back lick it’s lips as it growled in Ariochs direction. Muttations. Half wolf and half human like things that looked like… oh god. You turned to look at Enobaria, maybe you were wrong. Her scowl told you your suspicions were correct. She quickly stood up and retired to her room. The rest of your victors were silent, knowing how she felt about the mutts, about herself every day she woke up, every time she looked in the mirror. You wondered if she thought she was just like those mutts on the screen. You wished there was something you could say, anything to help. But words weren’t really your strong suit.

When you turn back to the screen Y/n and Peeta have heard Arioch and the mutts running towards them. She should have thrown her knife the second she saw enter the clearing. But she frozen. Utterly frozen at the giant creatures following him, figuring out exactly what they were. Who they were.

Peeta yanks y/ns arm. They barely managed to make it to the cornucopia without any injuries.

‘It’s them. All of them.’ Y/n whimpers as she fumbles to tie a bandage on Peetas once again, bloodied leg.

‘Are- are those their real eyes???’

You force yourself to look at the muttations a little more closely. The eyes definitely looked entirely too human. It was a sick thing to do to them. Even dead their bodies served the capitol. Always loyal to the capitol.

The hair on the wolves had different textures, the one who could only be Glimmer had blond shiny hair, the one with the number four had curly hair throughout his entire body. You refused to look at them any more. You looked up when you heard y/n scream out just to see Arioch yank her hair to throw her back on the floor. Peeta quickly tackles him, even injured it’s clear Peeta has experience fighting but he’s injure and Arioch quickly has him in a headlock. Y/n is already trying to figure out where to aim the spear.

‘Drop it or he dies.’

‘He dies and you come in second.’

‘Then I get one last kill.’

‘Yeah real impressive killing someone injured, but seeing as you couldn’t kill him the first time I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised you need to prove a point.’ She grinned, she was playing a dangerous game. Peeta was weakly clawing at Ariochs arm but the stalling could only go so far.

‘I was supposed to win. It should have been me or Clove..’

‘Come on Arioch, we all know I’m the one you have to beat. Look I’ll even go no weapons, no arrows, no spears, no knives.’ Arioch laughs at what seems is y/n signing Peetas death certificate.

It finally registers to Peeta what Y/n wants him to do. She sighs and pats her leg as she bends down, eyes on Arioch while she lays down the spear. Peeta manages to dig the knife y/n had told him to hide straight into Ariochs thigh.

He’s caught off guard and instinctively goes to remove the knife while screaming in pain. Y/ns gamble paid off, she throws her own knife towards his head. It nicks his already injured forehead sending a gush of blood down his face. The pause gives Peeta the room to push him off the cornucopia. Arioch isn’t one to go down easy, you think at the mutts that are way too excited to have him back down on the ground. Y/n rushes over to Oeeta cupping his face in her hands…

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah. Much better now.’ He pulls her in for an embrace they share until Ariochs screams begin cutting through the freezing air.

You find yourself holding your breath as they try to figure out how to help Arioch. Peetas convinced he would waste all of the arrows. Y/n is unsure without her knives but exasperated takes the bow and arrow from Peeta. And for the first time that you’ve seen in the arena, she hits her mark and the canon goes off.

‘That’s it! We did it!’ Peeta says through chattering teeth. Y/n collapses next to him and rests her head on his shoulder. Just like that the mutts disappear back into the woods. Y/ns eyes trained on the remaining wolves, saying goodbye to her friends one more time.

‘I can’t wait to go home.’

Peeta tries to cheer her up again, ‘you know what this means?’

‘What?’

‘You have to go on a date with me now. You promised.’

Y/n laughs, ‘you promised actually…but I’ll hold you to that.’ She lifts her and pulls his chin closer to hers and presses her lips firmly on his. His hands pull her closer before she pulls away. You find one of your nails has begun going back and forth on your skin, digging into it and leaving a large raw scratch in the palm of your hand. Some act.

Where’s the damn hovercraft? Hours go by and y/n and Peeta are forced to huddle together to try and preserve whatever body heat is left between the two of them. You go back to the viewing room where most of the victors are watching as intently as you plan to.

‘What’s taking so damn long?’ Y/n asks by the time the sun begins to rise again

‘Maybe we need to move away from the body. They probably still need to collect it.’ Already y/n has figured out what’s beginning to happen. She presses her lips together but nods.

‘Well then let’s move.’

They both move slowly. Probably as quick as their bodies can move after spending the night in freezing weather. They make it to the edge of the clearing, certainly farther than they were from the district five girl. When the hovercraft eventually grabs Ariochs bloodied body Claudine’s Templesmith’s voice echoes through the arena. You lean as close to the screen as you can just in case you miss anything.

‘Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revisions have been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!’

Y/n closes her eyes and takes a deep breath knowing deep down this was coming. She looks at Peeta. Injured and takes a step back.

‘Dont y/n. One of us should go home.’

She shakes her head, ‘No.’

‘Y/n—‘

‘Peeta, I can’t. You could go and see—‘

‘Don’t be dumb y/n. I’m not going without you.’ She’s about to protest when he says, ‘that’s fine, you’ll outlast me anyway.’

He’s about to remove the bandage he has wrapped around his leg that’s already soaking through when y/n screams, ‘No! Just wait. Please.’

‘They have to have a winner y/n.’

That’s when she hatched the idea. ‘No. They don’t.’

She holds out the night lock berries. Peeta is about to protest when she tells him to trust her. They split the berries. Your throat is dry. You want to scream at both of them. Stop. Don’t give everything up now.

‘3.’

‘2.’

….

‘1’

They both have the berries on their lips when Claudius Templesmith comes back, frantic ‘Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Y/N L/N and Peeta Mellark! I give you the tributes of District Twelve!’

But while the announcement caused y/n to freeze, it caused Peeta to bite down. You could hear a pin drop in the room. Y/n spots the berries out and turns to Peeta excitedly, before she sees him try to open his mouth but fail as the night lock seizes his system and he collapses to the ground. Her moth drops and she’s frozen until the canon sounds one. Last. Time.

Haymitch smashes a glass across the room, “Damn it!” He storms out with Chaff following behind him.

‘No. No no no no. Peeta wake up.’ She falls to her knees and lifts his head on her lap, when he doesn’t respond she tries to shake his shoulders. ‘Peeta! Wake up, damn you! We just won. We’re supposed to go home. You owe me. You promised me! You said you would take me out so GET UP!’

She’s bawling by the time she gets out those last words. When the hovercraft comes for her and I guess Peeta as well she covers his body not making any effort to leave. You grimace, you know what happens when you don’t voluntarily go to the hovercraft.

‘Ladies and Gentlemen I am pleased to present the Victor of the 74th Hunger Games! Y/N L/N’

‘No! It’s both of us. Shut up!’ She screams as Peacekeepers descend from another hovercraft. She seems to be to busy rocking Peetas upper body gently alternating between telling him it’s okay to get up and begging him to open his eyes.

The peacekeepers each grab one of her arms and she goes feral; kicking and screaming protests, ‘No! LET ME GO! You can’t leave him please! No!’

You find yourself wanting to tell her it’s going to be okay. But you know that’s not entirely true. Still, you wish you could comfort her. The room is a mixture of mouths agape, people holding in their shock by covering their mouths, and looking at eachother with a look that can only be described as confusion. You all watch as her cries get quieter and quieter when another peacekeeper sedates her. And just like that her body ascends into the hovercraft, coming back to the Capitol.

That’s when it hits you. Y/ns coming back. And she’s going to have a whole new game to play.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Taglist: @chloe-skywalker @ietss @tomihoeka @chiimiki @akinatrix @inky-sun

[hiraeth-witch-11]

Bond To Happen Part 11

Part 11: What if I'm a Mistake?

Warnings: the reader has passive suicidal ideation, lots of big feelings from trauma, mention of SA, canon typical content

Word Count: 3500ish

“You slept in the same bed as Billy Russo and nothing happened?” Karen asks in blatant disbelief, fingers stilling in your hair. You roll your eyes at her from your spot on the couch, head resting in her lap.

“That is what I said, Kare, 3 times now, I think. He’s a good guy, he’s never made me uncomfortable and he respects my boundaries.” Your tone is a little defensive.

“I know, sweetie. Honestly, he’s surprised both me and Frank with how he is around you. I just meant you both obviously have some sort of connection and I thought being that close might be what changes things up a bit.”

You relax at her words. “I was so tired, I passed out pretty quickly. I was just grateful the thunder wasn’t as loud after I fell asleep.”

“And if you both had been more awake?” Her words make you think.

“I don’t know if I’m there yet, Kare,” you say softly. “It’s not like he’s even actually said anything to show he’s interested either. There would have to be so much talking to even start anything romantic or physical and I haven’t told him everything about my magic. It would be too complicated and I don’t even know where I would begin…”

“Do you want me to just listen or do you want my thoughts?”

“Thoughts,” you mumble, focusing on the show the two of you have on in the background.

“I think you’re focusing on the obstacles instead of deciding whether or not you want to try,” Karen says kindly.

“What would I do if I did decide?” You ask earnestly.

“I think you gotta pick first, babe,” she answers with a smile.

“Ughhh, why can’t things just be simple. It would be so much easier if I actually got a real amount of energy from you and the rest of the gang,” you groan.

“Me too, but at least it’s been helping a bit, right?”

You nod, unable to voice the lie. You did feel better around your friends, especially when touching them, but it didn’t last. Even when you had tried opening your connection to their auras and actively feeding from them, the results had been disappointing. The moment they left the room, your fatigue would come crashing back down on you. You still spent as much time with your found family as you could, but it was about as effective as taking ibuprofen for a stab wound. You didn’t want them to worry, though, so you didn’t say anything. You kept yourself from truly putting words to it, but you had pretty much resigned yourself to your eventual death. Anything you tried now felt like it would be useless. A flailing of limbs as you ran out of air. You didn’t want that. You just wanted to be with your friends until you couldn’t anymore.

Billy was a fantasy, a white knight you were starting to daydream about swooping in and fixing all your problems. But you don’t think even he can help you at this stage. You’d probably have to be attached at the hip 24/7 to make a difference in your health. To be honest, you’d lost pieces of your will to live steadily over the last few years. The first when your parents disowned you. Another when a blonde man slipped something into your drink, a choice that led to his death. You think the biggest part of you gave up that night in the rain, surrounded by the bodies of men who saw you as less than an animal.

******

The days following you and Russo’s rainstorm adventure, he made a point to check on you twice daily. Often through a text in the morning and evening, but it quickly evolved into more. Billy stopping by your office to chat or share food became a regular thing. If he came into the office with a coffee, he always had an extra for you. Frank complained about being left out anytime he noticed. Turns out, you were right, Russo had a sweet tooth, so you would frequently find a tart or donut or some obscure miniature dessert on your desk during the week. 

Russo asked about your life, your family. A sore topic, it turns out, for both of you.

“They disowned me when I told them about all this,” You say, waving a hand and allowing a bit of your icy blue magic to be visible around the room.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Russo says earnestly.

“It is what it is. They told me I was as good as dead to them. They weren’t bad parents, though, so it was tough to accept they meant it. Up until they brought out the shotgun to make sure I moved all my shit out of their house. At least they waited until after undergrad to decide they hated ‘my kind’.” You leave out some details. Mainly that they called you a whore because of the details of your magic. At the time you thought you were some sort of succubus related witch. But you’d only ever had sex twice with a friend in college so you don’t think you can really claim either title.

“I grew up in foster care. Frank was the first family I ever had.” Billy admits after a few beats. His aura darkens at the memory, you can tell it’s painful for him, but the change in aura doesn’t feel uncomfortable for you like it should.

“Frank’s good people,” you say finally. “He’s a grumpy bastard, but he’s a real softie on the inside, I think, at least.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Billy laughs. “He’d pout for a week.”

“That is such a strange visual. Frank Castle pouting,” you snort, imagining it. “It’s weird to think that about this time 2 years ago, I didn’t have a single friend in the city and now I’ve got a whole little group. Never had that many people in my life before.”

“Surely you had friends in college?” Billy asks incredulously.

“Never more than two at a time, and most of them didn’t last long.” You shake your head. “It was okay though, I’ve always preferred the quiet.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt it then,” Billy says, jokingly moving to get up.

“No, no. You are a rare exception. Especially as talkative as you are,” you tease.

“Glad to hear you like me, sweetheart,” Billy says, smirking as he settles back into the chair. 

“I didn’t say that.” You feel your cheeks warming and rush to turn the subject back to him. “What about you? I bet you had a bunch of friends through school. You seem like a popular guy.”

Russo shakes his head non committedly. “I was just another pretty face in highschool. Same for the Marines, at the beginning at least.”

You can sense a little bitterness around that word. Pretty. He didn’t like it. His whole aura tenses as he says it. It was something you’d suspected before, but his aura had never confirmed your suspicions until now.

“Well, you started your own company from the ground up and you do a lot of good with it. I would say you have progressed past being just a pretty face.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.” 

******

“Hey, Blue. Any plans for the weekend?” Billy asks, leaning against your doorframe.

“I was planning to get drinks with Karen tonight, but she has to work late so I’m deciding whether or not I still want to go.” You rest backwards in your chair and interlace your fingers over your abdomen, twiddling your thumbs as you think.

“Alone?” Billy arches an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. Unless you want to come?”

“I’d love to.” Billy smiles at your offer.

Looking back, you probably should have just gone alone. With Billy next to you, you don’t really want to feed. Or you want to feed from him too much and have decided it wouldn’t be fair to do that to a friend without them knowing about it. Instead of feeding, you enjoy a strawberry daiquiri and tease Billy over his choice in beer.

“I don’t need to try it to know it’s gross, Bill.”

“So you’re judgin’ me without having anythin’ to back yourself up?”

“Objectively, I know my drink tastes better.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s sweet, can you even call it a real drink, sweetheart?”

“It has twice as much alcohol as yours does, and it actually tastes good. I swear you and Frank drink that shit just because you’re ‘too manly’ for anything else.” You use air quotes around the words and take another sip. “Try it and tell me you still think yours is better.” You offer him your drink. He raises an eyebrow and swaps drinks with you.

“Only if you try mine.”

You make a face, “Fine.”

The two of you drink at the same time and you grimace. “Yup, I stand by my statement. All beer is gross.”

“Yours is better,” Billy nods, taking another sip.

“I told you so.”

He hums and goes in for a third sip.

“Hey, get your own,” you say as you swipe your drink back before he can drink anymore.

“Why would I do that when I can just steal yours?” Billy grins.

“Absolutely not, William. I will fight you for it.” You finish your drink and the two of you talk for another few minutes before you are ready to call it a night.

An obnoxiously loud chorus of laughter comes from a group across the room and you wince at the noise.

“If you don’t like crowds so much, why do you go out for drinks instead of stayin’ in?” Billy asks curiously as the two of you get up to walk home.

You shrug, “I can’t become a hermit, Bill.” And you have to at least try to feed sometimes.

“Well I’m happy to come with you anytime you want company.” He eyes the room with disdain. “Or a buffer.”

He holds the door open for you and the cool night air hits you as you laugh in response to his words, “A buffer from what?”

“You haven’t noticed all the guys starin’ at you that whole time?”

“Like in a ‘thinking of harvesting my organs for the black market’ way or a ‘there’s something on my face’ way?”

“In a ‘jealous that you have company already’ way.” Billy moves to the outer side of the sidewalk.

You give Billy an incredulous look of disbelief. “In that case, it was probably meant for you, not me.”

“Most of them aren’t my type, sweetheart.”

“Most of them aren’t my type either.”

“What is your type then?” Billy asks.

You are my type, your mind supplies unhelpfully. “I’m not even sure if I know anymore. Most often, it’s women.”

“‘Women’ is a pretty broad category.” Billy grins.

“There are a lot of gorgeous women in the world and they all look different, I happen to appreciate different types of beauty.”

“I hear that. And when it comes to men?”

“My type gets more specific with men. Not that I’ve even dated one in years.”

“That specific, huh?”

“Yup. They have to respect boundaries for one, which feels damn near impossible to find sometimes. I can’t date anyone who’s sexist or racist or homophobic or threatened by me.They gotta be able to communicate their feelings effectively. They have to understand my whole weirdness with touch. And that’s not even adding in if I find them physically attractive. What about you?”

“I thought my type was anything on two legs,” Billy jokes.

“Come on, it’s not fair if I’m the only one revealing all my secrets.”

“So your type is a secret.”

“It might be.”

“In that case,” Billy chuckles. “I like fiery women- and men occasionally.”

You try not to let your surprise show at the admission. Sure, he had hinted, but he’d never outright said anything.

“If we’re talkin’ more than just a passin’ thing, I guess I gotta lot of the more specific descriptions too. I’ve just never really gotten around to a real relationship and figurin’ all that out. Frank keeps tellin’ me ‘quality over quantity.’”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never had a real relationship either. The closest I got was pseudo-dating someone for a month in college. It ended when I started flinching anytime they touched me. That was when this whole thing really got started,” you explain gesturing to your temple. “It sucked ‘cause I really liked them.”

“I don’t really like touch all that much either,” Billy starts softly. “There was this guy at the group home. I must have been ten, eleven at the time. When a grown man tells you that you're pretty, you know nothing good is coming. Let's just say, I wasn't interested in the kind of games that he had in mind. So I went after him with the stickball bat. Caught him good a couple times, too. Then he broke my arm. Got pissed off, ripped my rotator cuff in three places.”

You don’t know what to say, don’t know what you can say. 

Billy continues, “And the older I got, the prettier I got, and the more people wanted a piece of me in one way or another. When people want somethin’, they find a reason to grab it. Shit, you probably know what I mean better than most.”

You nod and look up at him as the two of you keep walking. “You didn’t deserve it, any of it, Billy.”

“Neither did you,” Billy insists, surprising you. You’d never told him what happened, never told anyone. Frank was the only one who you had even mentioned it to. You preferred to keep it buried. Maybe you’ve misread and he meant something else, but instinct tells you he knows, he sees you, he understands.

******

“It’s okay, Frank, it’s just a migraine. People get them all the time and still work,” you insist.

“How many days this month have you had a migraine this bad and still came in?” Frank asks, sounding pretty pissed at you. The lights in your office were as low as they could go and you had had an ice pack over your forehead when Frank came in unannounced as he had a bad habit of doing.

“I didn’t keep track. I don’t know why you’re upset, Frank, I’m getting my work done. This hasn’t affected the quality of my readings or reports.”

“Be straight with me, Blue. Are these migraines ‘cause of your magic?” He refuses to let you get out of this conversation with your excuses. The day or so after you’d returned from your trip with Billy, you had felt better than you had in months but that feeling quickly devolved into feeling worse. You’d had a taste of how good it could be and your magic was protesting. Even going out with him the other night was only a brief escape from the pain.

“Yes.”

“Shit, kid, I didn’t know things had gotten this bad. Does Bill know?”

“No and you won’t tell him. There’s nothing to be done and my job keeps me focused. I’ll tell him if it becomes a problem.” You keep your voice firm, trying to match Castle’s classic stubbornness. You didn’t want to bring Billy into all this, you don’t want him to worry.

“If you get any other symptoms. So much as a sniffle, you will tell one of us immediately. Tell me you understand,” he orders.

“I understand, Frank. I will, I promise.” You aren’t sure if it’s the truth.

Frank eyes you, as if he doesn’t quite believe you either. He eventually nods and leaves your office. Once he’s gone, you remove the ice pack from your face and sit up, reaching for your water bottle. Warmth trickles from your nose and you reach up to wipe it away absentmindedly, as if it’s an itch. You look down at your hand and assess the scarlet coating your skin.

“Fuck.”

******

You had a theory that Matt knew something more than he let on about your health. Sometimes he’d ask if you were okay, a deeper meaning in the words. Or he’d make a point to ask if you wanted to talk, if you needed any help. You didn’t realize how much his enhanced senses were picking up until he confronted you one night in the kitchen of his apartment while you helped clean up after game night.

“You aren’t okay, are you?” He states more than asks.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Matthew,” you reply coolly as you dry a dish.

“You’ve been brushing this off for too long, Blue, talk to me.”

“There’s no point, nothing is going to change this.” You gesture to your head, aura flashing.

“Bullshit. Have you even been trying? Have you looked for anything more concrete about your magic or your species?” Matt is struggling to keep from raising his voice in frustration.

“What is the point? I tried, but it didn't work. I gave up. There is no point in fighting anymore.” You aren’t as good at controlling your volume.

“The point,” he’s practically spitting in anger, “is that you have people who love you. You could have a good life. You just have to want it.”

“A life without real sleep? Without being able to sit in only my thoughts? Without any real chance of a life partner? In a country that’s would sooner collar me, or fucking burn me, than help me? What is the point, Matt?” You’re yelling now, tears slipping down your cheeks as you feel that quiet, ever present rage fill you. The rage of a queer person used to hearing slurs in hallways, bars, and family dinners. Of a woman who has been threatened and belittled and hurt by men who think they are owed something they choose to take. Of a witch who lost her family, her home, her dreams of the future, who was forced into becoming a survivor. 

And with this, you begin to face some of the pain you have forced so deep down into your mind. Everything you were, everything you loved, has been taken from you piece by piece. Your family was your only constant growing up, you’d always struggled to make friends. Your parents took that from you in an instant. You thought you would find freedom in your travels, but all you received was hurt and hate from the strangers you encountered. You finally finally settle in a city where you begin to feel safe, and then your rights are slowly stripped away. You hadn’t wanted to be alive in a long time. Even with your friends, your pain still festered within you like an infection you refused to treat. Sometimes you think death would be easier than this. Anything would be easier than this.

“You deserve to live, Blue,” Matt says softly, voice thick with emotion.

“You don’t know that, Matt. You don’t know what I’ve done to stay alive this long,” you shake your head furiously.

“Have you ever purposely hurt someone innocent?”

“No, but I-”

“Then it doesn’t matter. Do you think Frank deserves to die for what he’s done?”

“No, but-”

“Then why would you?”

“What if I’m a mistake?” You voice a fear that has followed you for so long, you can’t remember a life without it. Something that started small, when no one wanted to play with you as a little kid and grew as disaster seemed to follow you everywhere. “What if I’m wrong and that’s why this happened? Maybe this is nature’s way of self correcting.”

“Someone as good as you, could never be wrong, Blue.”

You break down at that. Full, heaving sobs as you lean over the sink, face in your hands.

“Can I?” Matt asks and you nod, feeling his arms wrap around you.You turn and cry into his shoulder, venting emotion that you’ve tried so hard to avoid, and he lets you. Rubs your back gently and murmurs kind words into your hair. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

After a while, your sobs taper off, turning to heavy breathing interrupted with sniffles. You try to apologize for ruining Matt’s shirt, but he won’t let you.

“How long has that been building up?”

“A while,” you admit.

“I know I'm not one to talk about the whole, you know, sharing things and talking about feelings, but you know we’re here for you. Right?”

“I know, Matt.”

“I found some older stories and documents, Karen helped but I told her it was a surprise for you. They look promising, Can I send the info to you? Maybe you can look it over and see if anything clicks?” He explains once you’ve calmed down.

“Okay, I’ll give them a look,” you agree. You aren’t sure if your feelings about dying have changed much, but for Matt, for Karen and the rest of the people you’ve become so close with, for Billy, you can try.

Series List

If you want to be put on, or taken off my taglists, feel free to tell me!

Series Taglist: evyiione, @kayhi808, @ellooo0ooo, happydeanpotter, intothesoul

Billy Russo Taglist: @snowkestrel

Feedback is the spice of life and I appreciate any and all comments, questions, and thoughts.

[focusandrelaxforme]

Documenting My Subject's Hypno Slavery Journey (Part 11)

--------

After her trip away, we've spent some time getting her back into the swing of things.

She's still having trouble with swallowing cum, but we've managed to condition her into wanting it in her mouth, so I'm calling that progress.

I've found that the more aroused she is, the more receptive she becomes to conditioning. The main potential issue with this is that sometimes this becomes a state-dependent response, where she only really responds to the conditioning when she's aroused.

In light of that, I'm trying to keep a good mix of conditioning her in ways that aren't overtly sexual, such as her health/workout progress.

That said, since hypnosis itself and conditioning itself is a kink, there will always be some amount of arousal colouring everything. Moving forward, we're just going have to accept that she's going to be a bit horny all the time (just part of the sacrifices that we have to make).

--------

Dear Diary,

I haven't written for a while, but I am finally back from my trip and feeling less stressed. Master is trying to get me back into my normal routine now that I am home.. and I feel relieved to be back under more control. I don't realize how much I need it until it isn't there. I was a good girl on my trip and managed to keep up with my workouts for Master. I feel so accomplished. Tonight was my first one back at home and I did a very good job. Master has left my pussy wet and aching all day. I have wanted to touch myself so many times today. Thinking about how needy my poor clit is...and I can't even remember the last time I was able to play with it. I love feeling a little desperate and wanting to beg Master to let me play. It's embarrassing how much I wanted to play today.. I probably could have just rubbed myself against the corner of my bed or couch arm and came. Master went over my rules again today so I could get back into my daily rituals. I was reminded what I am allowed to remember and be aware of. I missed going deep for my Master. I needed it so much. Shortly after talking to Master, my husband came in to take a shower and I got down our child for a nap. I think I was casually speaking to him and offered him a blowjob. He eagerly accepted and pulled down his boxers for me. I began licking and sucking like I hadn't had his cock in years. It felt so good to obey and feel his cock in my mouth. I love being on my knees for my Master and getting any hole he chooses used. I was sucking my husbands cock so well that he was already ready to cum. He double checked that he was allowed to cum in my mouth and i told him yes and reminded him how much Master has trained me to want his cum. I sucked eagerly until my husband began to cum in my mouth. I involuntary gagged several times on his cum.. i don't think my mouth is used to the new instructions for Master yet.. but I managed to keep all the cum in my mouth and felt a deep rush of an orgasm flow through me. I felt so deep at that point. Just like I do now. I could barely move as I sat there on my knees with the cum dripping down my chin and my eyes closed. I wasn't about to swallow the cum. Because I was afraid I would gag more.. but the fact that I was able to keep it in my m9uth was a small miracle in itself. I then took a nice hot shower and brushed my teeth. Master instructed me to never remember giving my husband a blow job and to just go back to normal. I felt relaxed after my shower...but suddenly had a wave of nausea.. maybe from being so deep. I ate and felt much better. Anytime any kind of though that Master doesnt want me to know arises..it slips away so fast and leaves me feeling confused. I Felt so wet and excited all day.. my clit feels like it needs to be gently rubbed to a nice edge for my Master. He is going to let me fuck myself after this journal. And I cant wait for my orgasm. They are so much better with Masters control. I love obeying. And I feel so deep right now.. that I could almost fall asleep. I am floating on a cloud.

Xoxo the very eager , horny slave.

--------

[madamemedic]

Room for One More? (Chapter One: Nat 20 on Unarmed Strike)

(This is a poly relationship with you, Eddie and Chrissy. Here's a quick list of what will change or stay the same.

1: No Upside Down

2: Jane gets legally adopted by Jim because Becky cannot look after her and Terry at the same time. So he adopts her.

3: Will does not get lost.

4: Bob is alive; he just doesn't date Joyce.

5: Barbara moves out of town to get better education choices.

6: Nancy cheats on Steve, but Steve finds out later. Nancy still ends up with Jonathan.

7: Star Mall is owned by a greedy company, no Russians; thus, it still stands, but Steve and Robin quit anyway.

8: Joyce and Hopper are newly dating.

9: No powers

10: Reader is 19

11: Nobody dies. Even Billy.

12: There is no papa.

That is it. Enjoy.)

Chrissy POV:

As far as Chrissy knew, her life was stagnant and, to be honest, boring. Every day was the same in the sleepy town of Hawkins, Indiana. Wake up, go to school, practice for cheer, go home, sleep and repeat. Chrissy was fed up with the days that seemed to drag on. However, it is always wasn't dull. There were times when two people made the day enjoyable despite not being involved.

It was Eddie Munson and (YFN) (YLN). Every lunchtime, you two arrive hand in hand. The love that even Chrissy could see when you looked at each other was something special. Jason never looked at her like that. It made Chrissy slightly ashamed, but in a way, she was jealous. You two were attached at the hip, where you saw one. The other was just a little behind. Today was no different.

"Look, it's the freak and the weirdo," Jason mutters to his jock friends as you and Eddie sit on the Hellfire table. The way you sat on Eddie's lap was casual like you two were sitting at home. Chrissy then saw Eddie's arm slink around your waist to slide your body closer to his. How could you two be nonchalant with your public displays of affection? Jason wasn't like that. Sure, if he caught anybody looking at Chrissy, he'd bark at them along the lines of 'hey, that's my girl, man' or 'quit staring at my girl.'

Chrissy was no longer interested in her food and couldn't help but watch you two. Eddie leans in to whisper in your ear. It must have been funny because you laughed and lightly tapped Eddie's arm.

"Gross, people like that need to be locked up in looney bins" Jason never held Chrissy close or told her jokes. In fact, Chrissy felt more like a trophy than a girlfriend at times. Of course, she could break up with him, but she didn't like being alone. So Chrissy sucked it up.

The jocks didn't seem to care that their words were mean and downright hurtful. Chrissy was damn sure that Jason was trying to provoke Eddie like always. He didn't always get what he wanted, but today, Jason hit a nerve.

"You got a problem, little boy?" Eddie calls over to her table. Now is where Eddie and Jason exchange insults; Chrissy thinks the whole ordeal was childish. So she usually ignored the talk between the two boys. That was until someone said her name.

"I would say that I feel sorry for your girlfriend having to date a freak like you, but she's like a weirdo like you two. A couple of circus clowns." Chrissy could see that comment got to Eddie since she saw his hand on your hip clench for a few seconds before relaxing.

"Oh, we freaky alright. I bet you don't stray from missionary because any other position scares you," Hellfire's table cheers.

"Damn, I feel sorry for Chrissy; bet never given her the big O; I bet Jason's a one-pump chump kind of guy. But, don't worry, Chrissy baby, if you want to experience a good time, you are more than welcome to come to me, baby, anytime." That's when Chrissy looked at you. You had the most salacious grin on your face, and Eddie looked like he was going to pass away with how hard he was laughing. But, on the other hand, Jason looked ready to burst from anger. Apart from Jason's table, the entire lunch room was laughing along, only fulling Jason's anger.

"Freak, you best put a muzzle on that bitch before I do", Jason had stood up. Chrissy could see that Jason was ready to start a fight.

"A bitch? Now listen here, daddy's trust fund baby. You even try to muzzle my girlfriend, and I'll fucking kick you and your friend's asses" Eddie had now, by the end of his sentence, walked over to the Jock table. This looked like it was going to end in a fight. Still, you had taken Eddie's hand and started to pull him away whilst saying, 'he isn't worth it' and 'Eddie, you can't afford to get another detention.'

"Yeah, that's right, get your bitch to defend you. Fucking slut" Now, up until he said that, you had almost got Eddie to go back to his table, but that's when you did a 180 and stormed over to Jason. His face was cocky, but not for long, as you punched Jason square in the face. There was a loud cracking noise as Jason fell to the floor, cupping his nose.

"FUCK, I THINK SHE BROKE MY GODDAMN NOSE" The room fell silent.

"TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN, AND I'LL BREAK MORE THAN JUST YOUR FUCKING NOSE", You spit at Jason. Chrissy was stunned. Sure there had been back and forths, but this was different. By the time she recovered, you and Eddie were gone. The room now was bustling with whispers as Chrissy had turned to Jason. His face was covered in his own blood... wait for a second; you really did end up breaking Jason's nose or what looked like it to Chrissy, but there was no time to ponder as Jason called for Chrissy to take him to the school nurse. Of course, Chrissy, the ever-doting girlfriend, helped her poor boyfriend to the infirmary. Despite Jason having the broken nose, Chrissy hoped you and Eddie got away safely. Maybe when the dust settled, Chrissy could find you to see if you were OK. But for now, she was stuck tilting Jason's head back to stop the bleeding.

(Hoi, you punched Jason, and now he has a broken nose. Rad. I hope you will leave feedback and enjoy your day or night)

[encantadocinco]

Sneak preview for Chapter 11!!

“Roy, now!” Ricky shouted, orbing his opponent to Menudo.

“Leave it to me!” Roy yelled back, hurling a fire ball at their enemy. As the flames engulfed it, Charlie focused his powers.

“I’ll end this.” Charlie smirked.

There was a flash followed by a rain of white feathers descending on the boys as yet another training dummy was obliterated.

“We made pretty good time with that one.” Charlie commented, checking the stop watch he wore around his neck. “Still room for improvement, though.”

“I didn’t get to do anything, I could have slowed down time.” Ray pouted.

“Feels like time is moving slowly enough.” Miguel complained. “We’ve been at this for hours, let's call it a night.”

The other members mumbled their agreement from where they stood in the Menudo mansion’s private gym. The polished hardwood floor around them was littered with feathers and bits of destroyed training dummies.

“Yeah, I suppose that’s enough fight training for tonight.” Charlie conceded, wiping the sweat from his brow. The others sighed in relief and began leaving until Charlie called, “Ray, go get the portable stereo.”

“What for?”

“We’re going to rehearse our choreography for the new songs.”

“Again?” Ricky groaned.

“Charlie, we’re worn out.” Objected Miguel.

“And tired!” Roy snapped. “It’s nearly midnight, I wanna go to bed!”

“I’m hungry.” Ray folded his arms.

“You guys are a bunch of babies!” Charlie scolded them. “We’re making our North American debut in a few weeks time and I want to be ready!”

“Well, we should probably sleep and eat at some point before then.” Ricky mocked.

“Come on, this is the first time in months we haven’t been dealing with demons or vampires. I think we should take advantage of the lull in activity to really focus on our training.” Charlie argued. “But if you all would rather just lay around and stuff your faces, fine. Whatever.” Charlie threw his hands up in surrender and headed to the door, turning around part of the way and calling, “Just make sure you’re all up at six so we can get some rehearsal time in before our radio interview tomorrow. And study your English before you go to sleep.”

When Charlie was out of the room the others let out a breath of relief and turned to Miguel.

“He’s your best friend, can’t you talk to him?” Ray pleaded.

“I’ve tried, guys, but he’s really serious about this. When we leave Puerto Rico he wants us to be prepared. And he does kind of have a point. I mean, our last visits to New York weren’t exactly uneventful.”

“I guess you’re right. But Charlie’s pushing us all way too hard. I don’t think he’s taken a break since we’ve gotten back home.” Ricky shook his head. “He’s going to burn himself out.”

“If I don’t burn him up first.” Roy sneered.

-

Charlie sighed deeply as he let the steaming hot water run on his neck and down his back. Lately the shower was the only place Charlie was able to slow down and think. He had kept up a frantic pace since Menudo returned from New York, even Joselo had started encouraging him to relax a little, but anytime he tried the weight of his inactivity was smothering. When Charlie had first joined Menudo, he was told he had the strongest of the five powers and would be the leader of the group. But since then, they had lost two of their members and Charlie’s confidence in his ability to lead the group was severely shaken. He was determined not to lose another member and to be prepared in advance for any potential challenge they might face. Still, he had to admit this constant training and frantic pace were beginning to take a toll on him, physically and mentally. As Charlie rested his head against the shower wall under the soothing stream of hot water, he closed his heavy eyes and felt his mind begin to drift. He was jolted suddenly out of his thoughts by a sharp clanging of bells. After overcoming the initial shock that he had nearly fallen asleep standing up in the shower, Charlie realized what was happening and wrapped a towel around his waist, running out in to the hallway where he found the others boys in a state of confusion.

“What is that ungodly noise!?” Roy yelled, covering his ears.

“Burglar alarm.” Ricky shouted back.

“Stupid 20th century invention. I had just fallen asleep.” Roy griped.

“You mean somebody’s breaking in?” Ray asked, panic rising in his voice. “Like, a thief?”

“More like a demon.” Charlie answered, gritting his teeth. “Damn, I knew it’s been too quiet around here lately. I better put on some pants.”

He sprinted in to his bedroom and without bothering to turn on the light began digging through his wardrobe. Suddenly he became aware of an intense chill in the room. Flicking on a nearby lamp, the first thing Charlie noticed was his wide-open window, curtains billowing in the cold nighttime breeze. He knew that window had been closed before he took his shower. Glancing around, nothing seemed in disarray but he could feel that someone, or something, had just been in this room. Charlie nearly jumped out of his skin at the touch of a hand on his bare shoulder. Turning he saw Miguel behind him.

“Damn, you scared the shit out of me.” Charlie grabbed his heart. “Did you guys find the demon?”

“Demon? No, but Joselo did find a gap in the fence where someone cut through it. And then there’s that.” Miguel pointed at Charlie’s window and Charlie went to investigate. He looked out and saw a ladder was leaning against the wall under his windowsill.

“That’s the ladder from our tool shed. And the alarm was triggered from your window being forced open.”

“Does Joselo know what kind of demon might have done this?”

Miguel laughed. “Just a burglar, probably. Something for the police to worry about, not us.”

“I don’t know.” Charlie narrowed his eyes as he looked around his room and out at the yard. “Something doesn’t add up.”

“That’s because you’re still in battle mode from all that training today. We live in a big house, someone tried to rob it. These things happen. Joselo called the police and they’ll deal with it.” Miguel shrugged. “Get some sleep. Good night.”

As Miguel left a realization hit Charlie and he chased Miguel in to the hall.

“Miguel, wait! You said that’s the ladder from the tool shed, right?”

Miguel stared at him blankly. “Yeah?”

“The took shed is on the other side of the house. Why didn’t they break in to one of the windows close by? They dragged that ladder all the way across the yard to get to my window.”

Miguel blinked in surprise as he took this in. “Yeah, that is weird. Almost like you were being targeted.”

“Mmhm. Targeted because I’m the group leader and I have the strongest power. I’m telling you, this is demon activity.”

Despite the fact that he was apparently being targeted, Miguel couldn’t help but notice the smile on Charlie’s face at his feeling of being right. Seeing that Miguel didn’t look entirely convinced, Charlie continued.

“I know how we can find out for sure. You could touch the ladder or the window ledge and try to get a vision off of it like you did with the shirt button we took from the vampires.”

Miguel shrugged. “Well, okay, if it’ll make you feel better I’ll try.” Rolling up his sleeves and squinting shut his eyes in intense focus, Miguel began running his hands along Charlie’s window and the ladder underneath it. Charlie watched Miguel continue this way for a few minutes until some of the concentration fell from his face. “Nope.” Miguel started to say. “No, I don’t think anything is…” Suddenly he spaced out in a deep vision, his hand still on the window. After a moment Miguel jolted back to reality.

“Well?” Charlie prodded.

“Woah.” Miguel steadied himself and caught his breath, then smiled. “Hey! I didn’t get a headache this time like I did when I first intentionally summoned a vision!”

“See why I keep bugging you guys to train your powers? I was right, they’re getting stronger.” Charlie boasted. “And I bet I was right about the demon too, huh?”

“I don’t know, it looked human to me. I didn’t see much though. It was dark and whoever, or whatever, it was had on all black. Something did stick out to me, though.” Miguel admitted.

“What?”

“Well the person, if it was a person, looked to be about our age. They were the same height and size as we are.”

“So were the vampires.” Charlie pointed out. “What exactly did you see?”

“The security alarm went off as soon as the person got in your room. They left right away, but first they opened your nightstand drawer and… well, I’m sorry to tell you this but they stole your diary, Charlie.”

“Diary?” Charlie scoffed. “Miguel, I don’t have a diary. I’m not a girl.”

“I keep a diary.” Miguel pouted. “Well, they stole a book from your nightstand, whatever it was.”

Charlie opened the drawer and looked in. “Oh,” he sighed. “That was just my day planner.”

“Was there anything important in it? Stuff you don’t want anyone else to know?”

“Nah. Just random crap I need to remember.” Charlie started. Miguel was relieved until he saw a look of dread spread across Charlie’s face as he continued talking. “Like… our schedule for the next three months, the security code for the gates and…”

“And?” Miguel prodded anxiously.

Charlie gave him a weary, apologetic smile. “The detailed progress reports I’ve been keeping on how you and the other members are coming along in your magical training.”

-

[tartanblogger]

WHO IS TARTAN COMPOSER?

THREE BIG DISAPPOINTMENTS IN MY LIFE

#1 Missing out in Hull (England) on a tea-chest chock full of toy soldiers, tanks, aeroplanes etc (all made by Airfix). A young lad, a neighbour next door beat me to the path of a lady who beckoned us down to the back yard...oh well, ho hum!

DISAPPOINTMENT NUMBER 2

#2 Again in Hull, out with my older brother who lived there at the time. I spotted a toyshop and in the window was a model kit of the (at the time) famous children’s TV series by Gerry Anderson (God blesss ‘im!) FOREBALL XL5!!! I couldn’t believe it. Anyway, after much annoying coaxing and pleading, my brother bought it for me...great so far!

HERE COMES THE DISAPPOINTMENT!

At home I eagerly opened the FIREBALL XL5 space rocket  model box and searched for the crew, Steve Zodiac, Robert the robot and the lovely Venus. to my utter dismay, disbelief and chagrin, was a plastic parachutist soldier with an attached colored plastic parachute and NOT the XL5 crew! 

MISREPRESENTATION, BIG STYLE!

Talk about the trade description act!  On the box lid was a full size, full colour version of the rocket with the crew, hurtling through space. In actual fact, the rocket was rather dull looking, plain grey plastic with transfers (decals) that needing soaking in water and then stuck on to embellish the rocket. ah, c’est la vie!

#3 I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED MUSIC!

The Royal Scottish Academy of Music & Drama was t’THE’ place to go in Scotland to study music and the arts. It was akin to RADA and the London School of Music!  My big mistake and regret was I plumped for THEOLOGY instead of music???  However, I gained my degree and took up teacher training at the famous Jordanhill campus and therefore qualified as a teacher in RMPS (Religious, Moral and Philosophical Studies). 

I always had a talent for music and it was not until years later, that I was in work and attended a local church, only to find out one of the parishioners was in fact the HEAD OF MUSIC COMPOSITION in the RSAMD at the time! I got to talking to him and told him of my compositions, songs tunes etc and he said post them to me at the RSAMD,  which I did within a week or so, I received a reply saying how he had listened to the material and he felt I had a natural bent and talent for composition and encouraged me to take up the course. 

All said and done, by that I had a family to feed and had to work full time and even now I could kick myself for missing out on what could have opened alot of doors of opportunity to me. However, I had to become an auto-didact, learning from countless books and CDs...now of course You Tube has a load of instructional videos, but then, there was no private turtors in composition, which was my forte. I’m still learning but it hasn’t stopped me from producing various orchestral/other genre works. The learning is my passion, as is creating music. 

Feel free to hit me up for a chat anytime. TC.

copyright JG Conn aka Tartan Composer 11/04/2024.

[momoffdrugs]

11/15/2023 3:30 AM

i was sexually assaulted by another woman.

an experience i filed into a neat little folder, packed into a box, and pushed into the back of my mind to help me through the rest of my pregnancy.

and i always downplayed it. “no it’s not a big deal” “it’s ok i forgot about it” “im not really sure if it was rape” “she didn’t mean it she was dunk”

but it fucked me up. so bad. to the point where i haven’t enjoyed sex in over two years.

and it’s something i am trying to process whenever i can mentally handle it, and ready to open the box, folder, closet.

well here it is.

amber,

you were my friend, i listened to you, you listened to me. we talked about our despair, our serenity in sobriety. we went to meetings together, talked about god, talked about being mothers. i was new, you had already been around the block with a lot of things. i had a little crush on you, because i loved your confidence. you weren’t afraid to say what you wanted, liked. you weren’t afraid to be honest. you were really cool to me in a time where i felt alone and scared. so when you called me when you were supposed to be on your way to georgia, drunk, crying, telling me you were let go of the program, i was concerned for you, and wanted to help you in anyway i could. i told you to come back to the apartment and i would help you figure it out. except when you finally did come back to the apartment you were completely drunk, and aggressively angry. at the whole world. and i wanted to help you. and i just remembered this, you and ben talked, and you tried to fuck him and he put you down, and when you came back you were even more upset. our RA tried to help you into bed, and when she went in with you, she came back out shortly after and asked me to help you instead. so i did, and you grabbed me, kissed me, and i said amber you’re too drunk to know what you’re doing, but you insisted, and put my hand down your pants. and at first i tried to roll with it, maybe i wanted this? but no, this isn’t what i wanted, and i told you no, and you didn’t care. and you weren’t just going to let someone reject you again right? so you shoved your hand down my pants and touched me without my permission. tried to rip my shirt open, and when i stood up, you tackled me onto the bed. and we physically fought back and forth between both of the beds in your room. and up until this point, in anytime i was ever assaulted, after the first couple times of no, i would accept it, and just lay there. because i knew at some point it would be over and i could just leave. but this time was different, i had a reason to fight back, it wasn’t about me, it was about my baby. it was about keeping us safe. so i fought back with everything i had. and eventually made it out. i was crying, locked myself in the bathroom until i heard you leave. then i went down to the office to call my parents to get me. didn’t even care about the police, just wanted to be rid of everything. go home, be safe. only to find out you, amber, inappropriately touched the RA when she tried putting you to bed. and that shit rocked my world. why would she just leave me there alone in that situation, there, with you? i felt so pissed off, and let down by the women around me. you hurt me, in so many ways. many ways which effect me to this day STILL. and you know what? i thought blocking you out, numbing myself from these thoughts, this event, would make me better. because it’s all about what you give power right? but these things have come to haunt me years later. i don’t think i’ve ever actually recovered, because i never truly grieved what you did to me. you killed a part of me that day. a woman, who was my friend, completely betrayed my trust, and hurt me in the most insanely devastating way. how could you do that to me and my child?

and i didn’t want to press charges, i just wanted it to be over. never wanted to think about it again.

i went to the hospital the next day, had tests done to see if my baby was okay, because of all the stress the night before caused. and she was fine. i was fine. had to do a rape kit, talk to a rape counselor. an entire ordeal. which is the WORSTTTT. like literally so traumatizing. the worst part about getting raped is going to the hospital and retelling your story every fifteen minutes to various people and then getting std tests, asking them to test you for herpes and they reject you. then the daunting question of are you reporting the incident? why not? don’t you want to prevent more victims?

but why retraumatize myself and go thru that whole ordeal? never seemed worth it to me.

so when i heard you got arrested for DUIs in three separate states on your way back to georgia i smiled. because i knew you were going back to prison. and i knew you would have to spend time away with no physical freedom. up until right now, i hadn’t thought that maybe you sat there and maybe felt bad for what you did to me. say to yourself and thought maybe i did something wrong to this pregnant girl. have you thought about how your actions killed a part of me?

nobody understood why i got back on drugs after my baby was born, not even me.

but in retrospect it makes sense.

i was assaulted by you. and you killed a part of me.

and i haven’t been able to get past it.

i thought i did, but i realized im more hurt than i originally thought.

you took away my ability to connect with someone during sex.

i now have to be drunk to feel comfortable enough to kiss someone. and i am put into fight or flight mode when someone touches me without my given permission.

you took away connection from me. physical intimacy.

and for that, i hate you.

i don’t know how to undo this, i don’t know how to move past it.

i can’t afford therapy. trauma therapy.

i know you’re out now, and i really don’t want you to prosper. i hate what you took from me.

i’m not allowing you to take up this negative energy in my life, but you took it.

i’m trying to grow, and you’re stunting my growth.

fuck you amber. i fucking hate you.

[worldismyne]

The Longest Sleepover Ch 11

Summary: The first year of school did not go as planned for Harv and he’s never felt more alone. That is, until a loud kid from the saga studies course decides they’re best friends now.

(Year 1 AU, Harv deals with homophobia, Finn is oblivious.)

Series: Warrior U

Pairing: HarvFinn

Rating: T

Ao3 Link

"You can do this." Harv said. He stared himself down in the mirror, trying his best to not to feel silly. "It doesn't matter if you run into someone you know, you're allowed to be there." These exercises were supposedly helpful, but anytime he did them, he felt anxious someone might overhear him talking to himself. He knew he couldn't do his job and hide from the outside world at the same time. Finn wanted to check out the summer harvest festival today, and if Finn went, Harv had to follow.

The clothes Emet made for Harv still felt like a costume to him at times. The black leather armor pieces were more decorative than functional, and the furs added to the unnecessary embellishments. It was, however, more comfortable than the ridiculous tunic Finn had forced him to wear for the opera.

With each passing day the burden of being away from home had lessened, if only slightly. Having a job helped, even if the things asked of him were odd. He tried not to think about what the spell components he gathered were for, or how Finn's chores had slowly become his. At least this way he didn't feel like he'd end up back on the street for being an inconvenience.

"Harvey, open up." There was a banging on the upstairs bathroom door. "Or at the very least hand me the hairspray." Finn opened the door before Harv could object, his blond bangs half obscuring his vision. He blindly pawed around for a comb. "Usually you get ready so fast, what's the matter?" Harv traded spots with Finn and caught the comb just as Finn discarded it for some magic in a can.

"Nothing."

"You know I can tell when you're lying." Finn said in sing-song. 

"Then you know I don't want to talk about it." Harv rolled his eyes. Finn sprayed his hair and held the curls in place while the potion dried.

"Is this keep me distracted 'nothing' or a let me be 'nothing'? You know I have trouble telling the difference." Finn said. He glanced over at Harv as he adjusted his armor for the sixth time. 

"Distracted, unless..." Harv sighed, sensing Finn's mischievous grin rather than seeing it. "Unless Trevor tries to talk to me."

"Finally going to acknowledge the poor soul?" Finn said, feeling quite smug that his pestering had a hand in Harv's decision.

"Maybe, I don't know. It depends. I'm not chasing him down, if that's what you're thinking." Finn brushed past him to find his wrist length gloves.

"Oh no, of course not, wouldn't want to look desperate or anything." Finn half teased. Harv glared at him weakly.

"Is this your idea of helping?" 

"I thought you didn't want my help."  Finn collected the last of his things and went down stairs. 

"I don't." Harv paused at the top of the stairs. "But, uh, it wouldn't hurt to stay close. Just in case." He hurried after Finn, if nothing else to focus on something other than the many ways today could go wrong. 

-----

They had missed the church blessing, the first loaf of bread of the year. Finn was too afraid to set foot near the church, apparently one too many a person had told him he'd burst into flames should he come in contact with sacred ground. Which, at the end of the day, Harv wasn't too keen to show his face there himself. He had hoped to overhear who got the honor of baking the first loaf. It was something his mother had been working toward for years now. 

Skipping the service had afforded them a first look at the festival decorations. It was humbler than Finn had hoped, all-natural greenery and sticks fashioned together with twine. The inedible leftovers from the haying had been gathered in the center of town to fuel the night's bonfire, an impressive tower of drybrush considering last year's prediction for the harvest.

"I don't get it." Finn sighed. "What's so exciting about a pile of hay?"

"A bigger harvest means fatter animals." Harv said with a smile. "The bigger the bonfire, the less misfortune the coming year."

"Sounds like a bunch of fiction to me." Finn shook his head. "At least the fire will be pretty." He dragged Harv to the various stalls local vendors had set up. Some had little games of chance, others had little treats or rare items on display. After the service let out, people trickled into the streets and it was easier to blend in the crowd. Performers took to their posts, competing for the money and attention of festival goers. 

Finn was plenty satisfied with his caramel apple and heckling other musicians under his breath, but he was more than happy to pay to watch Harv try his hand at the games. Most of them were rigged or had to be played a certain way, but when it came to feats of strength Harv came out on top. Without even trying he'd broken a high striker, and Finn couldn't help but cackle at the game runner's misfortune. 

"They'll put hay in just about anything won't they?" Finn said as he watched a covered cart trot by with hay falling out of the back end. "That's about the only thing we haven't tried, let's go." He tugged on Harv's arm, but the warrior remained rooted.

"Finn, that's for couples." Harv said.

"Don't be ridiculous, it says right there on the sign ages five and up." Finn crossed his arms and waited for Harv to admit he was right.

"Do you see any children in that line?" Harv looked away. "It's the only place in the festival you can be kind of alone. Just, trust me, okay?" Finn looked at the line of young couples eagerly chatting with their partner as they waited for the cart to come back. 

"Just because couples like to go on it, doesn't mean we can't-"

"I'm not going." Harv turned to walk away, knowing full well he couldn't win a battle of words with the bard. "Go by yourself if you want to go so bad." 

"Fine, maybe I will!" Finn stood rooted in the line with his arms crossed, but Harv didn't turn around. As much as he didn't want to go alone, now he was committed to his word. He could only imagine how boring this festival would be for Harv while he was waiting for Finn to get off the ride. That alone gave him a little comfort. 

------

Harv had kept the hayride line in the corner of his eye until Finn got on, spending his time mindlessly looking at nearby stalls. Of course, he'd already seen them all, but there wasn't much else to do. As much as he'd like to get something for his friends or brothers, nothing really stuck out to him. The best he could do was the silly straw doll he'd won at the high striker.

"Harv?" Harv's heart caught in his throat. "Wow, nice clothes. It's good to see you doing better. I was pretty worried." Trevor said. His taller friend smiled patiently at him as he fumbled for the goofy looking prize he'd won and shoved it into the empty air in front of him. "For me? Thanks!" 

"I'm sorry..." Harv began. Everything he'd planned to say was quickly forgotten. 

"What are you sorry for?" Trevor ruffled Harv's hair. "I know it wasn't your fault." Harv grabbed Trevor's hand before he could take it away.

"I..." He could hear the dull hum of other people's voices, feel every stray glance from a passerby. But if he didn't say anything now, he knew he'd kick himself for a week at least. "I like you." He squeezed Trevor's hand. "So... it kinda is... I mean..." He let go of Trevor's hand and hid his face in his hands. 

"...How long were you planning on staying at the festival?" Harv peaked through his fingers at his crush. Trevor was awkwardly shuffling his feet and looking away, his face was flushed. "The bonfire's soon, we could um... we could get a spot." 

"That'd be great!" Harv dropped his hands. "But, I promised Finn we'd go together. He's on the silly kiddy ride, but when he gets back we could meet up with you."

"That's okay..." Trevor sighed. "Another time maybe?"

"Yeah, of course." Harv backed away awkwardly. He didn't really want to go, but he thought he'd seen Finn get off the ride. "I'll call you." He waved goodbye, waiting until Trevor returned to Cliff and the others before hunting down Finn. He found the bard dumping the rest of his caramel apple in the trash.

"Good, you're here." Finn said quickly. "We have to go."

"Go?" Harv followed Finn as he weaved through the crowd, peeking up his head every so often to check if Harv was still there. "Wait, like go go? I thought we were going to watch the bonfire. What happened?"

"It was awful, just like you said. Only you left the part out where you have to share the cart with other people." Finn shuddered. "If that wasn't enough, Darren was in line with his little paramour and I may have exaggerated how awful it was when scolding the people I was forced to ride with. She overheard and slapped him."

"Who slapped who?" Harv asked.

"Darren's date; she slapped him and stormed off, but it wasn't my fault." Finn sharply turned down a different row of stalls. "He has a very slappable face. It was funny until he decided I did it on purpose." He waited as two knights stormed past in the direction they thought Finn had run off in. Finn glanced up at Harv, who despite the dire situation couldn't stop smiling. "Is my potential death that amusing to you?"

"No, sorry, I think Trevor tried to ask me out; but this is more important." Harv covered his mouth and tried to look pensive. "I'm taking this seriously, I swear."

"What do you mean 'tried'?" Finn practically shook him. "You need to tell me everything, but maybe not where Darren's on the warpath."

"Forget about Darren, do you want to go to the bonfire?" Harv brushed Finn's hands off. 

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then we're going." Harv meandered out into the main walkway. Finn stayed in the secluded part of the fairground and motioned for Harv to do the same. 

"Harvey, have you lost your mind?"

"What's he going to do, really? Yell at us a whole bunch?" Harv shrugged. "This is a public event, we're allowed to be here." The sun was starting to dip below the horizon, bathing the fairground in red and purple. "We can leave early if you want, but you should at least get to see them light it." 

Maybe he was letting not getting rejected go to his head a little, but Harv wasn't going to let some jerk spoil their fun. Both of them should get to leave the festival on a high note. Finn slowly peeled himself away from the shadows to where Harv was standing. 

"Alright, we can stay, but just to see what all the fuss is about, then we leave."

"I know just the place."

-----

 The rooftop of the tailor's guild was slightly easier to get to than the tops of the bergamot trees, but Finn felt just as uneasy about being up there. Harv dragged a few old crates out of the shadows and gestured for Finn to take a seat. Finn eyed the worn wood with caution as he gingerly sat next to Harv. One stray splinter could tear his stockings or pierce the skin, but Harv couldn't care less. A stiff breeze tugged at Finn's hair and he pulled his arms in close, still warmed by the lingering daylight.

The townspeople were the size of fleece dolls from where they sat, milling about toward the unlit bonfire with anticipation. The sights and sounds were more bearable here, merely a dull nod to the senses. One by one, the shop keeps lit their lanterns, a winding snake of light slowly blinking to life under the setting sun. 

"It's all the same fire." Harv said, leaning in so Finn could find where he was pointing to. "Someone in the church has been nursing a flame from the new year, and they use that to light the festival. Then, once the flame makes it to the bonfire, they'll let it burn out."

"What happens if it goes out before then?" Finn asked. Someone almost fumbled the torch, but was able to protect the flame from the wind long enough to reach the hay bail. 

"Bad luck I suppose." Harv shrugged. "It's the thought that counts more than the actual fire. It's supposed to represent the town making it through another winter." Finn hummed in response, watching the delicate flames hungrily consume the pete in front of a cheering crowd. The wind picked up, further fanning the flames, and soon a roaring fire danced in the night. "The first time I went, I didn't realize how far the heat could reach, and spent most of the night within a few feet of the bonfire. The next day, my face and arms were as tender as they'd be after a week's worth of field work. That's why everyone's staying out of the light."

"Was it worth it?"

"I think so." Harv shrugged off his cloak at the next bluster of wind and draped it on Finn's shoulders. "What?" Finn's hand curled into the dark furs as he studied Harv's confused expression. "I'm sorry it doesn't go with you shoes or whatever, but you looked like you'd get blown off the roof if I didn't do something." Finn bit his lip. "What?"

"Nothing..." Finn glanced down at their seats, an uncomfortable gap between the crates that'd be difficult to sit on, even if he tried to push his crate closer to Harv's. This was the closest they could get for now. "Thank you," Finn watched as the town's people danced and drank in the fire's glow. "For not ditching me and... well... yeah..."

"Of course I wouldn't..." Harv said. "What would make you say that?"

"The brick wall of your dreams tried to ask you out." Finn rolled his eyes at the goofy grin that spread across Harv's face. "What does that even mean anyway? You didn't turn him down did you?"

"Not exactly."  Harv fiddled with the pendant around his neck. "I told him I liked him and he wanted to go to the bonfire together..." His hand stilled. "Oh heavens, he didn't actually say he liked me back."

"Don't start getting in your head about it!" Finn slapped his shoulder. "I'm pretty sure 'let's hang out alone' is a pretty clear answer to 'I like you'. "

"I thought so." Harv smiled again.

"...well, what are you going to do?" Finn asked after a bit of quiet had passed. "You turned down his idea for a date, it's only proper you offer an alternative."

"I don't know Finn." 

"You. DON'T. KNOW!?" Finn reeled back, his head in his hands.

"I never thought I'd get this far." Harv grinned sheepishly. "It was easier to not think about it, then get my hopes up."

"Well what do you think we were doing this whole time!?" Finn counted on his fingers. "You could take him to a cafe, or a show, or a picnic." He grabbed a breath of air. "There's the salon, or window shopping, you could even go for a stroll by the lake if you're so inclined. How could you not know? Just pick one!" Some of the townspeople looked up toward the roof, unable to see anything, but alarmed at the sudden shouting. Harv's hand slowly left the pendent around his neck.

"Finn, were we... Did you think we were dating?" Harv held his breath as Finn turned away from him.

"No!" Finn pulled the cloak closer around him. "I was just being a good friend and showing you places you could go. It's different." He bit his lip. "Don't ask me how it is, just trust me, I know." He had been told many times before in many ways that he was hopeless."No one wants to waste their time pursuing a romance with someone without those sorts of passions. Hanging out with friends is the closest I'll ever.." He sighed. "If you tell him it's a date, it'll be different, you'll see." 

"Finn, I'm sorry."

"What's there to be sorry about? I'm fine." The excitement from the fire being lit had died down, with festival goers relaxing in the warm glow of the bonfire or wandering back to their previous tasks. It seemed like fun the way Harv described it, but he knew better than to suggest venturing closer with Darren somewhere in the crowd. It's just a fire, he told himself, a boring old fire; just like they had in any old hearth. He hadn't been missing out on anything, these people just made a big deal out of something ordinary. "Can we go now?" 

"Yeah, sure." Finn stood up the moment Harv agreed, and started climbing off the roof toward the alley. Harv lingered a bit, trying to see if he could pick out any auburn hair in the crowd. The entire town was dyed in orange light, making even the fairest of hair indiscernible from his friend's. It would have been nice to hang around the festival grounds longer, but he couldn't help smiling again. Next year would be different, next year he'd get to spend it with someone special. That little thought warmed his chest more than any fire could.

[padawansuggest]

Okay so I decided I wanted a fic where Cin Drallig takes Obi-Wan (11 years old) as a Padawan but since he’s the head of the temple guard and an instructor, he leaves the temple very rarely, and he wanted to make sure his padawan had field experience too, so Mace (very fond of the baby) Plo (chronic dad syndrome, very fatal) and Dooku (who saw the child and was like ‘awww… he’s Qui-Gon shaped… I’m gonna tame him’ and decided Komari could use a friend) all agree to occasionally help out by bringing him on various searches and missions. It works out for about a year…

And then Obi-Wan wakes up in the healing halls after a painful vision that looked like a 20 minute seizure to everyone else and Cin trying stoically not to cry over his new tiny boy being hurt, and not even in a way Cin can protect him from, and Obi-Wan says sorry to him in the force for making his time hard, only to immediately make a fuss so big it brings half the council down on them wondering what the child could have seen to cause that much issue.

Anyways. No one listens to him, he doesn’t have enough facts, he doesn’t even know where it takes place, he’s barely got any experience with visions, yadayadayada.

Except. Sifo-Dyas. Who unfortunately, had a quarter of the vision Obi-Wan just did, and didn’t like a lick of it.

Which is why Obi-Wan conveniently disappears from the temple less than ten hours later and sends the whole temple into a flurry. It’s. Bad.

They don’t know where the child is. They’ve started double checking the temple and combing the streets.

And here’s where it gets time-line-fuckery cause I KNOW these things didn’t happen at this time but I don’t care.

Dooku makes planetfall on Galidraan less than two days after the child went missing. He hasn’t heard back from anyone while in hyperspace tho, so he doesn’t know to concern himself… until a red haired blur comes streaking past him into a clearing and talking all fast and frantic and then… well… have you ever see a human try to catch a rabbit that keeps running in circles? Yeah so that ensues with Dooku chasing after the tiny one while a bunch of True Mandalorians are lookin on like 👁👄👁 from the edge of the clearing cause these two Just Appeared.

And Dooku is asking why Obi-Wan felt the need to stowaway in the ship (and that it explains the ‘stowaway tooka kitten’ Komari had shiftily said she was leaving ration bars out for) and he’s finally got Obi-Wan exactly where the child does not want to be, which is perched on his hip like a toddler.

Obi-Wan keeps answering his questions with ‘can I go down now?’ And being firmly told no, unless someone had a child leash he can’t slip, he will not be put down anytime soon.

Obi-Wan gives adorable little baby growls and explains that there are ‘Kyr’tsad’ over the hill and they came to kill the Manda’lor and no one was listening to him in the temple but Obi-Wan knows the senate is ordering the Jedi to kill Haat’mando’ade and no one listened to him when it needed to be stopped-

Anyways. So. The Manda’lor and his son are like lol cause this kid really managed to escape the Jetii temple just to warn them the Death Watch was here and now he’s in Annoying Child Timeout, huh, these jetii kids are a lot like mando kids.

So Dooku hands Obi-Wan off to his co-conspirator Komari (who is also grounded but can now be trusted not to let her tiny friend wander off or she won’t leave the temple for a year) while the Jedi forces go to help the True Mandos (Obi-Wan obviously gets bored and convinces Komari to let him talk to the pretty one, Jango, so they can be friends too, and now Jango has a 12 year old who thinks he’s cute lol) and everything was happy forever ever.

Until the moment Obi-Wan gets back into the temple, at which point he is in Dumb Padawan Baby Jail which means Cin is not putting him down for a month and he will be grounded for at least two years and that vision and it actually coming true means he’s in a million new classes for the unifying force and Yoda hisses every time he sees him, which means Obi gives Yoda Extra Tight Hugs cause he seems like he could use them and also Mace got a migraine upon Obi-Wan revealing the Death Watch to the True Mandalorians and he needs to be told sorry, right now, be nice to the master, say sorry for creating a shatter point. Plo is just. Still dad shaped. I just can’t leave Plo out.

Cin refuses to let the child out of his sight for at least a week.

[fireinmoonshot]

DECEMBER DRABBLES – DAY THIRTY-ONE: Champagne Kisses with Druig from Marvel's Eternals.

Druig really hadn’t wanted to come to the New Years Eve Party. He’d been against the idea from the very start, thinking that there would be no worse way to bring in the New Year than being surrounded by too many humans all drunk on alcohol and excitement.

You had ended up convincing him a few hours before the party started, talking about how you really wanted to go and that you really wanted to be able to kiss him at midnight with a view overlooking the city.

He’d snorted and muttered a “You won’t be looking at the view, love.”

It turned out, however, that he was the one who’d gotten a little too drunk on alcohol. It wasn’t even midnight yet. There were still twenty minutes until the New Year and Druig was more than tipsy.

You stood by Sersi’s side, watching the rest of the party and talking every now and then, looking at Druig out of the corner of your eye from where he was sat by the bar, a glass in his hands.

“I don’t know how you convinced him to come,” Sersi said.

“I told him I wanted to kiss him at midnight and that somehow managed to win it over. He’s always a sucker for a midnight kiss on New Years Eve. I would have been more surprised if he’d still said no,” you smiled to yourself and took a sip of your drink.

Nevertheless, Sersi was still impressed.

She excused herself a few minutes later, wanting to go and find the others she’d come along with – humans – and left you alone. It didn’t take you long to decide to go and see Druig. It was nearing midnight, after all, and you did still want to kiss him, even if he tasted like alcohol.

He smiled at the sight of you and stood up from the chair.

“My love is here,” he slurred his words a little. “Hello, gorgeous.”

Smiling, you placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the chair, moving to stand in-between his legs. You hooked your arms over his shoulders. You could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Someone’s been having fun at this party,” you chuckled. “Thought you didn’t want to come and hang around the drunk humans?”

Druig shrugged. “I figured I needed some champagne to get through it.”

“A little more than champagne, I think.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s just been champagne! Let me prove it to you.”

Before you could even think to say anything else, Druig’s hands gently grasped your face and he kissed you. You could taste the champagne on his lips as they moved against yours.

He pulled away with a smirk. “See? Champagne.”

“Okay, I believe you,” you held your hands up in surrender.

Druig smiled to himself and wrapped his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to him. It was a little uncomfortable to stand like this between his legs, but it was clear that he wasn’t going to be moving anytime soon judging by the way he was holding you.

“How long till the midnight kiss, then? Weren’t we meant to go to the balcony and overlook the city?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You said I wouldn’t be looking at the view, so now I’m not sure…”

Druig frowned. He wasn’t happy with that answer at all, seeing as he immediately stood up, knocking straight into you, and took one of your hands in his to lead you outside towards the balcony.

It was chilly outside, a breeze making its way across the balcony, colder because of the snow, as Druig walked you over to the balustrade. His hand in yours was warm and comfortable.

“How long till midnight now?”

You looked down at your watch and read the time. 11:57. The last few minutes had passed very quickly since Sersi left you alone inside. You showed Druig the time. It was only a few minutes until the New Year.

“Do we have to wait till midnight on the dot?” Druig dropped your hand and stepped closer to you, one of his hands going to the small of your back and the other to the nape of your neck, tilting your head up towards his face. His lips were only inches away from yours.

“I think technically, we’re meant to wait,” you mutter. “But I don’t think I would mind if you started earlier…”

Druig took that as your acceptance and lowered his lips to yours. You could still taste the champagne on them like you could when he’d kissed you inside. You were so wrapped up in the feeling of his lips on yours, his hand in your hair, his hand moving up and down your back, that you didn’t even hear the sound of fireworks exploding in the air around you as the clock hit midnight and the year changed.

You started the New Year in the way you both intended to spend it: wrapped up in one another completely, with little care for anyone but each other.

[earnestly-endlessly]

*flies in like magneto* can i get some exes to lovers™?

Do I have some exes to lovers fics for you? Yes I certainly do. It seems that the cherik fandom loves some exes to lovers cherik and I don't blame anyone because this ship really calls for all the angst. I hope you enjoy this list.

Exes to Lovers AU

Bound – FuryRed

Summary: Is there anything worse than someone else’s wedding? Well, perhaps your sister’s wedding- where the groom just has to invite his boss and that man just happens to be your ex-boyfriend; a person you had an extremely passionate and tumultuous relationship with that ended badly.

Charles hadn’t seen Erik for a year by the time Raven had told him about the wedding. He wasn’t looking forward to the occasion, particularly when Raven explained that they would be celebrating the event with a two-week extravaganza at a luxury hotel, meaning that Charles would be forced to spend a whole fortnight with the man who he’d given everything to; the man who had ultimately broken his heart…

Preheat to 350 (just for you remix) – ikeracity

Summary: Charles realizes he's in love with Erik. But there's one tiny little problem: he just broke up with Erik.

Thread Through a Needle – Black_Betty

Summary: Erik and Charles are broken up. Neither of them want to be.

Carry Me Anew (Frost & Darkholme Remix) – kianspo

Summary: While working as a model for Raven and Emma's clothing line, Erik experiences a strong attraction to his shoot partner. These things happen, except Erik has a boyfriend, who does not take this at all well.

Linger like a tattoo kiss – ikeracity

Summary: Six months apart gives Erik a lot of time to think about what he really wants.

(Erik's POV from Carry Me Anew (Frost & Darkholme Remix) by kianspo)

Symphysis – ikeracity

Summary: After Charles and Erik broke up four months ago, Charles convinced himself he'd never see Erik again. But life has a funny way of bringing people back together.

Call/Response – phalangine

Summary: Charles and Erik have a real conversation for the first time since breaking up. Charles is looking to avoid confrontation. Erik is not.

Regression Therapy – Fantine_Black

Summary: O, God, he’d made a terrible mistake. Whatever he’d expected to find here, Erik was still Erik, a man he’d moved continents to avoid. In retrospect, that felt like a rather good idea…

Four years after Charles walked away from Professor Lehnsherr, the two meet again for a drink.

Because things are better the second time round, aren't they?

Forever is Only a Drunk Dial Away – bettysofia

Summary: Charles is sad and drunk and stalking Erik's Instagram.

Shop Space – Caradee

Summary: Charles and Erik break up but still meet at their favorite coffee shop and manage a completely friendly relationship. The kids who work the coffee shop don't understand it, Charles' overprotective twin brother doesn't understand it, and even Charles doesn't understand it. Then, Erik shows up with a new date, someone who seems to be everything that Charles is not.

How will the Professor handle the surprising heartbreak that comes seeing Erik with someone else?

Mutant House at Dead Kings College – mabyn

Summary: When it comes to romance, Charles has terrible timing.

Can You Feel My Heart – FuryRed

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr hates Charles Xavier.

It’s as true as the words written on the wall in the bathroom at the university that Erik attends. Erik sees them one day- accompanied by a crude drawing of Erik and Charles glaring at each other- and recognises the truth of the sentence, and smiles.

He hates Charles.

Probably…

Believe (One More Time) – luninosity

Summary: For the prompt, Charles and Erik dated during college and had a bitter break-up right before graduation. It's five years later and they both meet again at their class's reunion for a weekend. Someone was even stupid enough to have them room with each other for the weekend...

Old Flame Burning – TurtleTotem

Summary: It's ridiculous for Charles to dread meeting the best man at his sister's wedding, just because he shares a name with Charles's ex. It's not as though it could possibly be the same Erik.

Don’t speak to the bartender – Wild_Imagination

Summary: Logan is a bartender, it's a gloomy evening, and in his bar there's someone with a broken heart. But this is not a movie.

Right?

Somewhere I’m Going & Have Never Been Before – Yahtzee

Summary: In late December 1984, Charles falls victim to the terrible pandemic sweeping across the globe. He's sick, probably dying, and utterly alone in an isolated cabin...until he's not.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland – TurtleTotem

Summary: Charles hasn't seen Erik since their devastating breakup ten years ago. He's certainly the last person he expects to run into at a Christmas lights display.

Lean On Me – SpiritsFlame

Summary: Ten years ago, Charles and Erik split up, dividing their six kids between them. None of them expect them to meet at summer camp. And no one could have predicted the results.

It was a yellow umbrella spring – ikeracity

Summary: Three years after Charles left for Oxford, Erik discovers that Charles is coming back to New York.

Second chances are wonderful things.

My heart above my head – annejumps

Summary: Emma thinks her coworker Erik and her friend and fellow telepath Charles should get together. No one expects things to get so intense so quickly.

The Edge of What Doesn’t End – populuxe

Summary: When a mysterious object appears on the moon, Moira MacTaggert calls in two experts with very specific mutations to investigate.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, after years of breaking up and getting back together again, those two experts have finally broken up for good—and they’re the last people in the world who should be stuck together on a spaceship.

Exit Wounds – LemonadeGarden

Summary: It's been eight months since Charles and Erik had a fight that broke apart their marriage. When a mutant rights protest goes awry and Charles begins to get sick, past memories and present obstacles begin to blur the lines of their ideological differences.

Alternatively: Charles and Erik learn how to fall in love again in troubled times.

Note: Unfinished

11 Days, 8 Hours and 12 Minutes (or Bruises, Stupidity and Anger Management) – ximeria

Summary: For six months, Erik and Charles have been the disgustingly happy couple of the school. Considering their pigheadedness and general communication skills (or lack thereof), things are bound to go boom at some point.

Moon Song – ikeracity

Summary: Werewolf AU. When Charles is captured by hunters, Erik and his pack go after him. It turns out there might be some room for redemption left for both of them after all.

I will Never Stop Loving You – swoopswoop

Summary: Erik and Charles split up three years ago but Erik never really got over it and then one day when the man who walked out of his life three years ago is walking down the street towards him, Erik sees an opportunity to mend fences.

Please leave your message after the tone – ikeracity

Summary: Spending his evening getting shitfaced and pining over Erik seems like a totally productive use of Charles's time. Luckily, it turns out to be a better idea than it sounds.

When the Spell Breaks – kianspo

Summary: Erik, a high-profile lawyer with a successful career, meets a 21-year-old grad student in a bar, and within a few short months marries him. He and Charles are blissfully happy, until Erik's boss runs a background check on Charles and discovers he's been cheating on Erik. Charles denies everything, as there was no affair, but Erik doesn't believe him and throws him out. As Charles tries to figure out how to survive and stay at school that he can no longer afford and makes a lot of bad if not plain dangerous choices, Erik has to fight his own battle of discovering the truth and winning Charles back.

We have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven (the things you love don’t last remix) – hllfire

Summary: Charles hands Erik the signed divorce papers, but Erik has changed his mind. Too late, it seems. All he can do is go forward with the divorce.

A year later, Charles comes back, and Erik can't help but wanting to see him. The only problem is things don't go like Erik had planned.

Suddenly There’ll Be a Blizzard (Let it Snow Remix) – kianspo

Summary: Charles was never at his best while jetlagged, but locking himself out in a snowstorm while barely dressed might be a new low. The last thing he expected was to be rescued by his high school nemesis, the man he hadn't seen in over ten years, who might have broken his heart for good once upon a time.

Write this number down (you can call it anytime) – pocky_slash

Summary: When Erik upsets his children, they have a habit of running away from home--and straight to Charles' school for cookies and consolation. Charles doesn't mind the visitors, but as they appear more and more frequently, he realizes that sooner or later, he and Erik are going to have to talk about what happened on the beach and what it means for their future and the future of Erik's children.

All we do is break up (and make up) – Stuckyl0v3r

Summary: "So instead of making the most out of this next months, because you don't know where either of you is going to end up, you decided to stay away from each other to get used to the feeling?" Hank summed up, stopping in front of the class. Charles nodded his head confidently and beamed at him, but somehow his smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes, something like that."

Well, that was the most idiotic plan Hank's ever heard.

Three wheels of cheese and a Great White – ximeria

Summary: Charles and Erik were friends with benefits in college.

They went their separate ways and 18 years later, they run into each other in New York.

The sex was never a problem back in college - and sex was all it had been. But now Erik is a divorced father and Charles has admitted to himself he needs more than just sex in a relationship. So in their usual round-about way they try to navigate becoming friends after so many years. The whole quest is aided by Raven, Edie, Wanda and Pietro (and a large number of shark jokes).

[strawberryspence]

A Dinner and A Future

Fluff | Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer just wants your first date to be perfect and surprisingly, it goes really well.

Word Count: 3,7k.

Warnings: some cursing, first date nerves, but that's it. just pure mindless fluff.

Writer’s Note: Hello! I've been going through a writing dry spell and the thing that solved it was writing this. I've been seeing a lot of edits on tiktok about Spencer's traumas and I just wanted to give him something simple and happy. I was also listening to Kodaline on repeat while reading this, so yeah it's going be hella sappy. Enjoy! <3

Gif is mine. Lesley Smith-Juniment, you have my heart.

Spencer is nervous.

Wait no, scratch that, nervous is not good enough. He was brimming to the edge with worry and queasiness. What other synonyms does nervous have? Spencer was antsy, anxious, perturbed, uneasy, at this point he can recite the whole thesaurus.

Spencer closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe. He can do this. He has waited for this for a long time and he won’t waste it because of burnt pasta.

Okay, he looks back at the note that David Rossi himself wrote in his own special handwriting.

1. Cook 1 pound pasta until Al Dente. Boy Genius, Al Dente should be firm when bitten. You cook it on a boiling water with salt and oil. SALT AND OIL.

2. While that’s cooking, do nothing. LITERALLY DO NOTHING. Watch it. Do the sauce later. In some miraculous way, if you don’t watch the pasta you’ll burn it.

A grin spreads across Spencer’s face as he puts down the paper and reaches for the fettuccine pasta and dropping it on the boiling water (which he measured with measuring cups he borrowed from JJ)

“Okay, now I wait for it to boil.” Spencer stares at the pasta as it cooks. Did he buy enough parmesan cheese? or enough pecorino cheese? Oh no. He looks over the other side of his counter where all the (complete) ingredients sit and he sighs in relief as if he hasn’t checked it 15 times since he started.

The pasta was still cooking and isn’t going to be firm anytime soon. Spencer ponders if he should just cook the sauce while waiting but he knows he’s going to mess it up if he doesn’t give it his undivided attention.

He looks at the watch on his wrist as it ticks to 5:21. He has one hour, thirty nine minutes and forty six seconds. He still has time before the date. The date with you.

It took him nine months, Derek and Emily annoying him to death to just ask the pretty librarian out, one extensive background research from Penelope, two separate talks of the “You deserve to be happy” advice from JJ and Hotch and one lecture about marriage from Rossi to finally ask you out.

He’s kinda annoyed really because he spent so much time thinking about you and thinking of the perfect way to ask you out but he shows up at the library you work at one day with a cup of coffee in hand and his heart on the other.

You didn’t even hesitate. There was no pause to process what he asked, there was no questions following the embarrassing stumbling of the words, “W-will you go have d-dinner with me? L-like a date... Date?” You immediately said yes with a small hop and the biggest smile on your face.

This date has to be perfect. He asked you to come to his apartment at 7. Spencer would’ve picked you up but he was making you a home made dinner and the date was taking place on the rooftop of you apartment, which Penelope and Derek helped him decorate with lights.

He tries the pasta and when its finally firm to the bite, he takes this as his queue to read the paper again. Of course, he can remember all of the instructions but Rossi still wrote it down and reading it calms his nerves.

3. If its cooked, drain your pasta water but leave a little pasta water on the side. Then you can continue.

4. In a pan on MEDIUM heat (just around 2-3 on the stove setting) cook one pound diced pancetta and 1 cup chopped onions in olive. Put this down and chop chop!

Spencer puts the paper down as he follows the instructions to drain the pasta. After he was done with it he puts the pan on the stove and starts chopping up the ingredients he needs.

Cooking is strangely calming. He never thought he’d find it calming. He always found himself burning stuff. So he sticks to the microwaveable meals and fast foods, even if he knows the statistics about these kinds of food.

After finishing the chopping he reaches over the paper and reads it again.

5. Are you done? Okay. Put the chopped stuff on the pan with olive oil and cook it until the pancetta is browned and onions are soft.

He immediately follows the instructions written. The onion and pancetta create a silent hiss as it hits the pan. As it cook he looks down again.

6. That’s going to take a while, so leave it but stay by its side. I am giving you permission to do two things at once. Dr. Reid, please be mindful of it.

Spencer rolls his eyes before proceeding to #7.

7. Combine the two cheeses. Then divide it in half. Then pour the half into 4 egg YOLKS. Just yolks! The yellow ones! Then beat it lightly until its really combined.

He has already separated the egg yolks from the whites (a job he didn’t think would be that hard but was surprisingly very hard) before he started cooking. He adds the combination of cheeses to the eggs and lightly beats it as he watches the pan of onions and pancetta sizzle.

When done with the egg and cheese combo, he gives the pan a stir before looking back down.

8. Is the egg done? Yes? Good. Is the pancetta and onion good? Yes? Good.

9. Okay, now you put your pasta in the pancetta pan.

10. REMOVE IT FROM THE HEAT! REMOVE IT!

Spencer follows the instructions to the T. He puts the pasta on the pancetta, gives it a stir and immediately removes it from the heat. He sighs in relief. He hasn’t burned anything yet.

11. You haven’t burned anything yet? I am proud of you.

12. Now, pour the egg mixture into the pan and toss the pasta until coated. TOSS IT GENTLY. If you’re scared use tongs.

13. Pour about 1/4 cup of the pasta water I told you to set aside earlier. You don’t have to pour all 1/4 cup, just until you get the creaminess you want.

Spencer reaches over the nearest tongs. He’s not going to toss anything tonight that involves pastas or pans. He’s taking the safe road because he wants everything to be perfect.

14. Add the rest of your cheese! Toss some more and then add salt and pepper as NEEDED!

15. You can serve it with parsley.

16. Now, go take a shower and change into some cleaner clothes.

17. Just be you and have fun, Spencer. Goodluck! :)

Spencer smiles as he puts the paper down and makes the finals touches to the pasta. He starts doing what was instructed and it surprisingly, ends up in the perfect texture. Just like the one he tasted when Rossi had a pasta night.

He was proud of himself as he takes it off the stove and makes sure that all the stoves are turned off. There was this report he read in 2018, that cooking and leaving the stove open was the leading cause of home fires.

He takes the food, puts it into a fancy tupperware (another thing he borrowed from JJ) and puts it in the microwave. He cleans up a little and stuffs the pans and pots to the dishwasher, because you are coming in his apartment even for a second.

He starts getting himself ready for the date with a shower. As the warm water glides through his body he thinks of how funny life could be.

Spencer first meets you in the library. He has not slept well in weeks so instead he opts to go to the library to get some reading done. But as soon as he sits in one of the (surprisingly) comfortable leather chairs, its as if sleep knocks him out. It wasn’t until the closing time that you wake him up and he thinks that you were an angel sent for him. This elicits a giggle from you.

“I am sorry, I am not an angel. I am just the librarian and we’ve been close for over an hour now. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You looked like you really needed that sleep.” Spencer immediately jumps to his feet as he apologizes profusely to the kind librarian, “Oh, it’s okay! Don’t say sorry. I was also reading so I didn’t mind the peace and quiet.”

That’s how Spencer meets you. He comes back a few days later after a case with coffee, croissant and an apology. You immediately become friends and thats how all of this started. Spencer finds himself falling in love with the kind, gorgeous, clever librarian faster than he expected.

Every week after that, Spencer comes to the library with pastries and coffees for his favourite librarian and every week, you welcome Spencer with a warm smile and a new book for him to read. He can read it in one sitting but he reads it in the slowest pace he could so it can last for a week.

Spencer comes out the shower and stares at his closet. Should he go casual or formal? Casual or formal? Its just dinner, he’s chill and casual is the way. He picks one of the few plaid shirts that he has and puts it on with a white shirt underneath. He tries to brush his hair, it sits for a moment before it starts curling again. He cringes but leaves it be.

Spencer proceeds to the kitchen to start packing the food into a wicker basket (that he also borrowed from JJ, he basically borrowed her whole kitchen). He packs the utensils in a table napkin that comes with the basket. The main course for the date was the carbonara, and the dessert was a tiramisu Penelope made.

He reaches over his sofa where the bouquet of paper flowers are. He made it a few nights ago with Penelope’s help. He stayed up to make more of it with old books he found in the BAU.

Because what kind of flowers is the best flowers for librarians? Origami flowers made with old book pages.

He shouldn’t be nervous. You’ve been friends for all the months that he didn’t have enough courage to ask you out. You’ve taken trips to old bookstores together for book hunting. This shouldn’t be different from your other trips.

The pitter patter of rain against his window takes him out of his thoughts.

“Shit! Is it raining!?” Spencer yelps, before opening the closed curtains. Beads of water runs down his windows and if its any other day he would love it. But not tonight, when he planned a rooftop date. He cringes as he thinks of the fairy lights hanged up and the table set up that is probably soaked now.

“Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think, Spencer, think.” Spencer thinks fast. He finds the extra table cloth that JJ gave him because “Just in case.” He reminds himself to buy her a bottle of wine as a thank you. He places it in his small kitchen table before taking the utensils out of the basket and placing it on the table in a fancy way.

Candles. Does he have candles? Spencer scrambles around his kitchen, like a chicken without its head, looking for candles and he finds it underneath the kitchen sink. He lights some of it up and props it into some glasses (he doesn’t have a candle holder he realizes after lighting it up).

With the lights dimmed down leaving the light from the window and the light from the candles, his dark apartment gives off a romantic, kind of comfortable, vibes. It was kind of perfect because with the books on his shelves and the lighting, it actually has the same vibes a library gives off.

He was ready now, bouquet of paper flowers in hand. He can’t believe how smooth things are going, minus the damn rain. Only thing that’s missing is you.

A knock comes to the door and he instantly opens it. There you were, hair a bit wet and messed up from the rain.

His future was bundled up in a cozy cardigan and a pair of jeans right in front of his eyes and he didn’t even know it.

“Hi.” Spencer smiles.

“Hi.” You smile.

-

“A little to the right. No. No. Too much right, now give it a little bit to the left.” You sigh, your hand under your chin, “No, no, baby, its crooked.”

“Love, can we do this later? The pancetta is going to burn.” Spencer laughs as he climbs down the ladder with the frame.

“But you said you’ll help me with putting up the frames!” You pout at him, Spencer chuckles before kissing your nose, “I know but you also asked for my famous carbonara and I can’t do both at the same time.”

“Hmmm. I still don’t think you can call it yours when its originally Dave’s.” You follow him to the kitchen, zigzagging through the boxes of books you’ve both barely opened.

“What he doesn’t know, won’t kill him.” He winks at you before giving the pancetta and onions a stir.

“It already smells good, love.” You snake your arms through his waist and lean your head on his back. Spencer lets go of the spatula and spins around to face you.

“Thank you, sweetheart. Go unbox some of the books and I’ll call you when its cooked so we can fix the frames. Okay?” Spencer kisses the top of your head and lets you go.

You walk out of the kitchen to the hallway full of boxes full of books. You chuckle as you open the nearest box and its just full of chemistry books. You push it to the room where Luke, Derek and Spencer has built shelves for all of your books. An olive green couch sits in the corner beside the built in fireplace.

Hmmm. This is your home library but as a former librarian the dewey decimal is calling you. But then again, the books you and Spencer have doesn’t have classifications on them. You began unpacking the chemistry books and placing it on the shelf. You can hear the distinct hiss of the pan and Spencer humming Kodaline’s The One.

You push in another box from the hallway to the room and its another one of Spencer’s, this one full of philosophy books. You start unpacking it to the shelf below the chemistry books before stopping as you pull out a book that doesn't belong with the philosophy books. A smile graces your face as your hands glides unto it. It was the book Spencer bought for you on your first anniversary.

The Peter Pan cover is a bit tattered, it was an older edition he found in your favorite old bookstore. You open the book and Spencer’s messy writing greets you with nostalgia.

“We are most alive when we are in love. Thank you for making me feel alive everyday for the past year. Happy Anniversary, love. I live a full life as I love you fully.”

You smile at the book before hugging it to your chest. You sigh deeply as you looked around the room and how it felt so surreal to be in the new home you share with Spencer.

“Love, I am finish. Come meet me in the hallway!” You leave the book on the shelf as you hear Spencer calling you.

“Are you helping me with the frames?” You clap, excited to finally put up the frames. Spencer smiles as he sees you excited to put up the pictures.

“Yes, okay you need to tell me if they’re straight okay?” He instructs before climbing the ladder.

“To the right, just a bit. Oh! Perfect!” You scramble to reach for another frame as he comes down the ladder to move it, “Here! This one.” He climbs again and you instruct him with directions for the frame again.

After a few more frames, he finally comes down and looks at the frames you asked to be put up.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Spencer smiles down at you and gives your cheek a kiss as he wraps his hands around your waist, “It is. Thank you for framing them.”

The frames comes in different shapes and forms, the biggest one in the middle is the picture of your wedding day. Your wedding took place in a library you immediately fell in love with when looking for places to get married at.

In the picture, you were smiling, your head rested on Spencer's shoulder as he reads a Harry Potter book he found in the kids section. It was a candid moment, both of you running to the back of the shelves to get a moment to yourselves after the wedding and the photographer snapped it before leaving the two of you in peace.

Beside it are pictures with the team on the wedding day, some on thanksgiving, christmas, new year with the BAU team, some with your family, some with Diana and in the corner is a shadow box containing the paper bouquet that Spencer gave you on your first date, the same exact flowers that was in your hands as you walk down the aisle to him.

“So, how's the first six months of officially being a Reid-Y/L/N?” Spencer teases as he lets you go from the back hug to face you and you roll your eyes at him, “Oh very hard. They hear Reid and they immediately expect greatness.”

Spencer laughs, “Same as the last name Y/L/N.” This time your the one who laughs at his statement, “Uhhh. I am not the one with 3 PhDs and 3 BAs.”

“And I am not the one whose a New York Times best selling author.” Spencer laughs even more when he sees your nose crinkles, making his heart dance and swell in glee.

“Hey, let’s dance.” He takes your arms and leaves it on his shoulders as he wraps his arms on your waist.

“We don’t have music, you silly goofy boy.” Spencer rolls his eyes at the endearment used, “I’ll sing.” He hushes you down.

“You make my heart feel like it's summer when the rain is pouring down.” Spencer’s singing voice was soft and sweet in the edges. Most nights you lull him to sleep with your humming to keep the monsters at bay and some days, his better days, he’s the one who sings and these were the days you treasure the most.

“You make my whole world feel so right when it's wrong, that's how I know you are the one... That’s how I know you are the one.” He sways you to the gentle buzz of his voice. You close your eyes as he sings the same song he sings to your ears on the dance floor for you first dance as a married couple.

“When we are together, you make me feel like my mind is free and my dreams are reachable hmmm.” Spencer hums as he runs his hands on your back. Your head on his chest and your ear listening to the way his heart is beating for you.

“You know I never ever believed in love, I believed one day that you would come along and free me.” Spencer feels at ease as he sways and sings, knowing that he’ll have you in his arms for the rest of his life.

The song ends but you and Spencer continue to sway to the music of silence.

“Can you believe its been 4 years since our first date?” Spencer asks, in disbelief of how fast time is running when he’s with you. You pull away from his chest so you can face him. You find a small spark in Spencer’s eyes as he thinks fondly of the night.

“Really? 4 years since our first date got rained on and Penelope cried because we broke all her fairy lights?” Spencer laughs before protesting, “Hey! I paid for that!”

"4 years later and I still can't get enough of that damn carbonara." Spence cackles, like an evil villain, "Don't tell Rossi that I stole his recipe for my beautiful partner."

"4 years later and I am still completely in love with you." Spencer smiles as he leans down to place a small kiss on your temple.

"4 years since I almost completely lost my mind because I was so nervous about our date." You roll your eyes, "Love, our first date was perfect. We've had this debate how many times now?"

"19 times." Spencer answers and you pinch his nose before looking around the room that’s still full of unopened boxes, “See. We should probably eat lunch and unpack. Why do we even have so many boxes of books?”

“Honey, you were a librarian and you are a writer. I am a professor and FBI agent that can read 20,000 words per minute.” Spencer answers as he looks around the unpacked house.

You smile fondly at him before standing on your tiptoes a bit to reach him and give him a kiss and he immediately steadies you with his hands. Kissing you was intoxicating and Spencer loves every bit of it. You only pull away when the kiss finally takes away your breathe.

“I love you, Spence.” You smile as you hold his face in your hands, “I love you more, sweetheart.” He smiles at you as you untangle yourself from him.

“Let’s eat your famous carbonara and unpack the rest of our house. It doesn’t really feel like home when all we can see is boxes.” You giggle before dragging him to the kitchen, making Spencer sit on the island as you prepare the pasta he cooked. Spencer watches you as you sing and dance through the kitchen in one of his old cardigans.

He doesn’t say anything but you were wrong. Home is not four walls with unpacked boxes and hundreds of books.

Home was when you showed up bundled in a cardigan, wet from the rain for your first date with him and home is still you, four years later, bundled up in his old cardigans and singing songs that magically fills and heals the crevices of his heart.

-

the recipe i copied for the famous carbonara!

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