#I threw in a couple of figs parents for funsies

[gods-favorite-autistic]

I’m too deep into this fandom already

Incorrect Fantasy High:

Kristen: I turned out perfectly fine!

Tracker: Kristen, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast

Kristen: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

~

Kristen: What do you think Fig will do for a distraction?

Adaine: She’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Adaine: ... or she could do that.

~

Fig: We need to get through this locked door. Fabian, give me your credit card.

Fabian: Here.

Fig, pocketing it: Thanks. Gorgug, kick down the door.

~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Fabian: Shit.

Fig: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Adaine: OH MY GOD RIZ FELL OFF!!!

~

Fig: Riz isn’t answering his phone

Fabian: I’ll call

Fig: Adaine and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Riz: Hello?

~

Adaine: Dammit, Fig!

Fig: What?! It wasn’t me!

Adaine: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Fabian!

Fabian: Not me either.

Adaine: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Kristen: *whistles*

~

Fig: *Screams*

Fabian: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Kristen: Should we do something?

Gorgug: No, I want to see who wins.

~

Riz: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Fabian: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

~

Adaine: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Fig: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

~

Riz: You're my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Adaine: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Riz: Absolutely not.

~

Fig: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Adaine’s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

~

Riz: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Fabian: That's why I carry two swords.

~

Kristen: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

~

Fig: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

~

Gorgug: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

~

Tracker: So what’s for dinner?

Kristen, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

~

Adaine: What are your goals?

Gorgug: To pet all the dogs.

Adaine: No, fitness goals.

Gorgug: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

~

Fig: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Riz: *chugs entire bottle*

Riz: It’s perfume.

~

Kristen: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Adaine: What did you do Kristen?

Kristen: A MISTAKE

~

*Fig and Kristen sitting in jail together*

Kristen: So who should we call?

Fig: I’d call Adaine, but I feel safer in jail

~

Adaine: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Fabian?

Fabian: … No.

Gorgug: I do!

Adaine: I know, Gorgug.

Gorgug: I’m sad!

Adaine: I know, Gorgug.

~

Kristen: Fig and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Adaine: *Sighing* What did Fig do?

Kristen: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Fig: Who wants a steering wheel?

~

Kristen: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Fig: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Adaine: In that case, we're definitely lost.

~

Sandra Lynn: Jawbone and I are having a baby.

Adaine: That's gre-

Jawbone, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

~

Adaine: Are we really going to let Fabian “keep” Riz?

Fig: We kept Gorgug.

~

Adaine: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Fabian: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Fig: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Riz: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Gilear: What the fuck is wrong with you people

~

Gorgug: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Fabian: Several traffic violations.

Fig: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Adaine: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Riz: Also, that’s not our car.

~

Fabian: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what The Ball will and will not eat.

Fig: Grass? Yes!

Fabian: Moss? Yes!!

Fig: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Fabian: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Fig: Worms? Sometimes!

Fabian: Rocks? Usually nah.

Fig: Twigs? Usually!

Fabian: Kristen’s cooking? Inconclusive!

Adaine: How did you… test this?

Fig: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Adaine: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Gorgug: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

~

Gorgug: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Adaine: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Riz: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Kristen: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Fig: My moral code, is that you?

Gorgug:

Gorgug: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mom left me but do you guys need a hug?