#I thought that 18 and 19 should have responsibility for their actions

[xburnmeintheashesx]

At this point raise the age of majority to 20. I'm serious. If a 18yo/19yo is basically a child in society's eyes, and does not have the full ability to consent / be responsible for their actions, then we need to hop the full way legally.

Yes, I'm well aware this will cause some havoc with certain families and certain events, but it seems society is evolving and netizens are increasingly treating 18/19yos as nearly full on minors, then let them be minors. Maybe you're right too, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

I'm in my late 20's would never touch a person below 20 either. While I don't think it's inherently wrong for 25-27s to go for 18/19s seems like the consensus is this is that its weird. And yk... Weird means bad in this context. Wrong. Unacceptable. Even if not yet-- it's only a matter of time before real life people get full on, irredeemably, blasted.

I have irls. Friends. Who judge me a little for shipping a 19 and 26 year old. Shipping. Even if it's wholesome. But they do not hate me. Which baffles me because not too many years ago no one would really bat an eye on this. Some people shrug why I care this much about fiction. Judge me even. Say " just log off" But the damage is done. even if i " log off", leave that fandom or leave fandom forever, whenever i see a puritan i go alert, even if we don't morally clash, i avoid friendships with minors and avoid creating bonds with them, out of fear of accidentally grooming them. And at this point i'm almost ready to do the same to 18 and 19 yos.

Some people go as far as labeling this pedophilia, it isn't that but it is controversial -- does not meet the half your age + 7 rule which is no longer a guideline but a rigid rule, and maybe even too lenient.

It doesn't matter what "proship" used to mean, the meaning changed to "problematic ship" and it's increasingly more subjective and people's takes on it affect reality. it came to the point many people even those who believe in ship freedom or ship proships, adapted some gargantuan rules out of a ocd fear to hurt minors. Me too, honestly.

Even I'm afraid to write this. Because someone will come out of the shadows and call me a pedophile just for speaking my mind, even if i do not do this action. And it'll snowball till I get cancelled. Digital footprints are ruthless, too. ' Freedom of speech' bullshit...

Go on then... instead of yapping at me, go the full way. Then 19 x 26 WILL be "proship" . But at least -- actual minors, as well as 18/19yos who will now be minors too, will be protected with it. Right?

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I just read your response to star-anise and I wanted to say thank you. It's horrific how NPD is demonized. People will paint every move as malicious, i.e if you make a sacrifice and you're not a narcissist, you're selfless and kind, if you are, you're playing martyr for praise and attention. I find it interesting that people can be labeled as either bad or good for the exact same actions or reactions depending on your likeability and prior labels

when I was in my first anthropology class, my one-day thesis advisor started interrpgating us about WHY certain observed phenomena happened. He asked us why it is that societies tend to send men off to war, and we gave him a million different answers and he tore into everyone, forcing us to look deep into our assumptions of what reality was. He asked us about why we jail homeless people and he did the same thing, ripping apart the explanations our class had been taught from childhood. He asked us why incest was generally considered morally wrong and even then none of our answers could withstand his interrogations.

We were 16, 17, 18, and 19 year olds mind you, he wasn't expecting us to be debate geniuses. But he picked emotionally impactful topics on purpose and held us all in that classroom looking into a mirror and explaining to ourselves what we believed and why while he undermined everything we thought we knew.

Lass was a dick in so many ways, and my decision to respond to his assholery with spiteful rivalry and dogged refusal to cower before him and his smug interrogations of our conceptualizations of reality made me one of his favorite students. He met my wife back when we were still dating (she sat in on my thesis peer-presentation at the end of my senior year) and told me she was a keeper because of the questions she asked me and the other presenters during our Q&As. He was a man who liked living in the uncertain and prickly, and I have to admit that his approach was contagious in some ways.

When I think about the origins of the language of "narcissist", of Narcissus the lover of beauty and the admirer of rare treasures, of the vengeful and insecure Greek gods who tended to dole out vicious punishments to any human who dares to see humanity as equal to divinity, of the angry backlash that hegemony always has to anyone who is unable or unwilling to buy into its inflicted premises....

Well. What seems more likely? That there is some class of people biologically incapable of comfortable coexistence with other humans due to moral debauchery? Or that there is a group of people whose willingness and ability to be subjugated by hegemonic power structures is incompatible with social structures that normalize systemic abuses and violations of self?

I'm not saying that means someone is a perfect flower who has never done anything wrong, but like. Maybe individual accountability for systemic mechanisms of interpersonal and social abuse is still bad even when it's against people who do wrong/bad things sometimes.

I dunno. I think people are comforted by easy moral answers, but I spent 8 year working with Lass in various capacities and never met anyone who could fully step up to the task of defending their beliefs against his interrogations. Like. the man was a moral-grey-area metal-detector of a human being, and no matter how nuanced we thought we'd gotten in our analysis, he was always able to pull a further assumption out for us to examine. I learned to distrust my own feelings of confidence in really interesting ways. At this point if I think I have something all figured out, I take that as a sign that I should take a step back and look for my blind spots. Which I think was the point of Lass's trial by fire approach to teaching in many ways, damn the man.

People are really confident in their hatred of and rage towards "narcissists" and that tells me that the blind spots aren't being monitored. That's all I really need to say that I'm unwilling to take anyone's assertions about narcissism on faith. I don't pretend to have answers (though I continue to find the pursuit of those answers in conversation an admirable and enjoyable process) but I think it's important to be loud about that so that people don't gloss over that element of what I'm saying when I'm communicating about functional interpersonal dynamics.

[wildpeachfarm]

Thank you for being such a level headed blog in a time it is much needed while providing much needed relief today with the dnf omega verse posting 😂

While I agree with everything being said, I do think people are missing a big point trying to claim Caiti is an adult woman just bc she turned 18. Talk to most 21 year old and they say 18 is a baby, 25 say 21 is a baby so on. 18 is not some number where magically you stop having childish feeling and emotions. Humans are still developing and maturing all the way into their 20s

It’s about experience and adulting. she wanted to take adult actions while not making mature choices. It is a nuanced thing being 18 because you are still a teenager but also legally an adult but you just left high school but have a job but you can’t drink but but but

I just think people need to be very careful about saying…well she is 18, she is a fully fledged mature adult., cable of adult decision making and rationalization of complex feeling they may be feeling for the first time. That is something you’ll see predators use especially when grooming their victims where the second they turn 18, they go public with their “relationship” (this was something forever q/smp did, claiming the age of consent is lower in Brazil so it was okay)

The point is: Caiti was aware of the choices she was making, cognizant of her options (despite drinking), and choice to remain in a situation that made HER uncomfortable. If she cannot communicate her feeling in a situation like this, she should not be going to parties. She is of an age where she SHOULD be mentally mature enough to recognize some of this. This is not infantilizing her but stating a fact that she is immature and her actions have shown that. She needs to grow the hell up. And she better get used to being uncomfortable because that’s part of what being an adult is. It’s dealing with the uncomfortable-ness of situation and dealing with them in a mature and reasonable way. This is coming from a 30 year old touch adverse person who has to navigate a friendship with someone who is very touch affectionate and knowing not every touch is malice even though it makes me extremely uncomfortable to people to touch anywhere that isn’t my hands…so like I get it but Caiti can’t take this high road without taking personal responsibility that she was irresponsibility and overreacted. (I also think her ‘friends’ gaslit her into believing it was something it was not and she truly needs therapy to sort though all these feelings and emotions to even hope of having a functioning adult life with relationships)

I can only hope her vacation gave her time of reflection and she can see how far she has caused this to spiral and apologize to George in private at least. Because she just started and lead a hate campaign against a man who took responsibility and apologized for how his actions made her feel even if it was not his intentions. Her feelings are valid but that does not excuse her actions which were very malicious (side-eyeing her initial statement and subsequent responses). This is something that never should’ve been made public and should have been handled between the two of them and no one else

-sorry for the word vomit, it wasn’t sitting well with me seeing multiple platforms saying 18 year old are adults and can’t be treated like children. I hope those people are all under the age of 25 bc many adults reflect on how wrong they were when they thought they knew everything at 18-19 and were convinced they were emotionally intelligent. Hell I look back at 25 and realize how stupid I was and readily admit that. I worry for the youth growing up with social media as their morality benchmarks

thank you for adding your thoughts very appreciated :)

[sankttealeaf]

LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE

it's easier to never acknowledge the situation between them both. why let it burden them? why allow feelings and care to seep in when they will soon be seen as gods?

cracks start to form in the foundation of their alliance. it will destroy them.

or: a collection of interactions between bhaal and bane's chosen, leading directly up to their respective downfalls.

1. BEFORE | A CHILDHOOD SO SWEET

⤷ "I thought you might want to be friends." She remembers her manners and sticks her hand out for him to shake. "My name is Ruelle."

He considers it for a moment and takes her hand with caution. "Enver." 

2. A REQUEST OF ALLEGIANCE

⤷ Bhaal's Chosen and Bane's Chosen make contact for the first time.

3. "BHAAL'S BLOODY HISTORY"

⤷ The Hall of Wonders is wonderful place for a first date. Nothing draws people closer together than the sweet embrace of Bhaal!

4. REUNIONS AND NEW UNIONS

⤷ Past connections click into place like a puzzle Gortash has been missing pieces of for years.

5. A YEAR

⤷ A year passes by and the two fall into a routine with each other.

6. DOMESTICATING A BHAALSPAWN

⤷ Enver Gortash's guide on how to make a Bhaalspawn come crawling back to him every time!*

*He cannot be held responsible for any unwanted feelings that may arise. He would greatly appreciate any tips on how to combat these feelings.

7. THE FIRST REFUSAL

⤷ Her nature is not to be refused, yet Rumour finds it rather easy to do when it's Gortash asking for her not to kill for one night.

8. CONSEQUENCES

⤷ Actions have consequences only worsened by time.

9. THE DAWN OF A NEW ERA

⤷ The Gods deliver an important message that cannot be ignored.

10. THAT UNWANTED ANIMAL

⤷ An adjustment needs to be made between them to prevent them from breaking under the weight of the ever growing tension.

11. WHERE IRON MEETS FLESH

⤷ Advancements are made with personal projects and God-driven projects.

12. THE CHOSEN OF THE DEAD THREE: UNITED

⤷ The Chosen of the Dead Three meet in person. There's something hidden deep in the walls of Moonrise Towers.

13. TWO HANDS LONGING FOR EACH OTHERS WARMTH

⤷ Plans begin to form to start their journey to Godhood. Does it matter anymore when all she wants is to be by his side?

14. THE HEIST

⤷ Cania is quite lovely at this time of the year

15. KILL YOUR DARLINGS

⤷ Dreams can be read as warnings, depending on how one interprets them.

16. BEFORE THE STORM

⤷ Cracks start to form in the foundation of their alliance.

17. GODS OF THE NEW WORLD

⤷ Godhood awaits.

18. THE SURRENDER

⤷ She should've seen this betrayal coming.

19. THE BETRAYER

⤷ A betrayal so perfect, why would she feel guilty?

20. THE MOURNER

⤷ They promised each other they would never leave. So why is he alone now?

21. HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF YOU

⤷ Gortash always knew, deep down, he would do this alone.

22. A LOYAL DOG WILL ALWAYS COME HOME

⤷ Returning to the city unlocks a wave of memories Rue is unsure she wants to relive.

23. ONE LAST TIME, PLEASE

⤷ Rue finds herself drawn back to Gortash, over and over again. He holds secrets and she wants to understand them all.

24. SWINGING BY MY NECK FROM THE FAMILY TREE

⤷ The daughters of Bhaal reunite.

25. CHANGE THE PROPHECY

⤷ It's hard to bring the dead back

⪼ updates frequently on AO3

finally dropping my durgetash fic links here. it's very self-indulgent but i feel like i should promo it more considering how much of a labour of love it is. featuring my durge, rue [tiefling wild magic sorcerer] (cool gifs of her can be found HERE i really should make more of them)

[dreamonminecraft]

Yeah its very obvious that shes incredibly angry at people not seeing this situation the same way she is. Which is a lesson she has to learn but wild that after 19 years she still hasnt? But thats whatever.

Shes so focused on removing all context of the situation ('it doesn't matter what happened because he admitted to touching me') which is a very dangerous thought process to have because where will that lead? When will you stop removing context and viewpoints?

What did she want if not attention (i dont mean that negatively) with this? She got annoyed at people figuring out it was George but also was in his replies demanding a response. Also saying that she doesn't want to be known for this? And then later saying she will not watch any other responses and obviously doesn't accept georges apology which whatever

So i honestly think she doesn't actually know what she wants, obviously doesn't or cant take responsibility for her actions and also does understand that HER actions also have consequences and not just the other way around. So lol🤷

This woman needs therapy like immediately man..

As an adult (18-30) you're going to fuck up a lot. Everyone does. Being in your 20's is about fucking shit up and making mistakes. As a person, you are going to live moments that are really fucking embarrassing for you, it's just a part of life. You have to take accountability for your agency in those situations and recognize that there is not always a villain.

If you're a content creator, OF COURSE you want attention! We all do! Why would any of us post anything if we didn't? I could write fanfic all day and be fulfilled but I upload it anyway because I'm a person who likes attention! If she didn't want attention, she wouldn't have streamed a story with identifying details meant to call him out. Do I think she should have gone public? FUCK NO! i don't know who in her life told her that was a good idea (weirdo friends who want to capitalize off of dteam's downfalls) but it wasn't!

She needs therapy in order to process her feelings and move on. The rest of the Internet needs to just move on.

[hugogetspowerbottomed]

You asked for vat7k hot takes uh

I posted this one publicly anyways so I'm not going anon lol but I HATE how ppl make Nuru mother around Varian and Hugo. She's 16. They're 18 and 19 respectively. Yes, she can be a mom friend - but shes still younger than them and a kid. She's not responsible for them or their actions.

I honestly more so think ppl should show Varian and Hugo playing a guardian role for both Nuru and Yong more - they're the adults of the group. Nurus and Yongs parents (esp Yongs bc hes 12) entrusted them with their kids safety and well being. If anything they should be the ones taking charge and making sure the two minors don't get themselves in serious trouble.

Please I beg I need content of Varigo desperately attempting to "parent" and having no clue what they're doing lmao

People need to stop making Nuru what the atla fandom thought Katara was. Idk what it is about people assigning the "girlie girl" of the group the mom friend title like Nuru doesn't even have any canon characteristics beyond like two thing and people still find somehow to fit her into a fake gender norm bc heaven forbid a found family not be nuclear.

I agree that varigo should be taken on a more parental role (I would argue mentor/babysitter role tho) bc its way more realistic and ALSO FUNNIER. WHERE ARE MY MOM HUGO FICS. Where are my fics where Hugo is like "I'll never be a brat to Donella again (lie)" bc Nuru and Yong burnt down another forest plsss I need it SO BADLY and I need "only child with mommy/daddy issues" Varian to ALSO be an over confident bossy mom friend who is so way in over his head that even Hugo is like well this can only end badly AAAAHHHHH

[valenshawke]

Law & Order, Season 23, episode 5: "Last Dance"

Blah, blah, blah, rich tech mogul commits murder to cover-up that he's a sexual predator. Variation on a tried-and-true story that the show has used since time immemorial.

But they had to make it more complicated to write Jack McCoy off the show.

@albatrossisland and @monidon, this one's for you.

In Seasons 18 and 19, you had Governor Donald Shalvoy and he was very clearly a fictionalized version of former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer. I guess they didn't want to anger the current NYC Mayor, Eric Adams, by having a fictionalized version of him being corrupt. But in the era of #MeToo where formerly untouchable powerful men (for decades) got away with all sorts of sexually predatory actions, it strains credulity that someone would not simply cut their losses and distance himself from the suspect. But you need an antagonist, right?

I'm often not a fan of the criticism that something is contrived. A story is a story and the actions a character takes are written to lead to a certain point. Everything is contrived in fiction. It's how well you do it.

Since the show came back, the writers show they simply cannot do it well. Everything has gotta be a twist, curve-ball, or an absurd social commentary (and I'm saying that about a show that did social commentary since episode ONE). If anyone is wondering where my gripe is on that last one, it goes back to my bone to pick with Nolan "Spineless Coward" Price giving IMMUNITY to a SCHOOL SHOOTER so he could PROSECUTE THE FATHER for the shooting.

Now, do I believe (in certain cases) parents should be held responsible for the actions of their children in this case? Absolutely. The Ethan Crumbley case in Michigan is a perfect example! There NOT definite warnings signs: There were FUCKING FIVE-ALARM BELLS and red flags the size of football fields that something was seriously wrong with the kid and he needed help, not for his mother to buy him a fucking gun. Parents were charged without any immunity. I still hold that against the writers.

Rick Eid's run as show-runner has demonstrated a clear lack of knowledge of character history on the show (Jack in particular), a lack of even the loosest understanding of the law works in the show's universe, and a desperate need for actual lawyers as consultants or on the writing staff.

I'm also convinced that writers hate Hugh Dancy. The guy has acting chops, he was wonderful in HANNIBAL. But like… refer to my earlier description of Nolan Price.

Which brings us to Jack's sendoff and the overall story.

Mayor Payne? Yeah, that's certainly subtle.

I often think back to how Jack (and Mike Cutter) fought back against the GOVERNOR and they can't handle the freaking mayor? Writers, what the fuck?

I guess where the writers got something right was Jack believes in justice for the victim, regardless of who you are. And they gave Jack one last courtroom battle. And, on one hand, it is fitting. They wanted Jack to go out in a figurative blaze of glory. He was alone in the court, no second chair. I do wonder if he thought about all the second chairs he's had and how they helped him along the way (I am getting weirdly emotional writing this). And despite the fact he got burned, he managed to burn his enemies on the way out.

But this isn't the end I wanted.

Sometimes, a low-key ending is suitable for a character who worked (by my own calculation) 50-plus years in the DA's office (perhaps closer to 60 years). Who tried some significant cases, contributed to case-law that the show SHOULD HAVE REFERENCED, mentored each of his second chairs after Claire and Jamie. Mentored Mike Cutter.

Jack simply deciding just to retire and not run for re-election and spend the rest of his days fixing his relationship with his daughter, spend time with his grandson, write a book, maybe be a talking-head on legal shows (no, I can't see that), fine. But I wish they could have convinced Sam Waterston to finish out the season, maybe recording something so they show a goodbye party or SOMETHING to start next season, and then have the newly-elected DA introduced. That would have been more satisfying.

As for everything else about this episode. Couldn't the writers, I don't know, research and clarify their own damn show?

Ben Stone

Jack McCoy

Mike Cutter

All Executive Assistant District Attorneys. I know there was some debate on whether or not Nolan Price was actually an EADA. But now he's Deputy District Attorney? What? Writers, there are other EADAs in the DA's office. I realize that the writers have always played fast-and-loose on the hierarchy of the fictional DAs office. SVU had Chief Assistant District Attorney Charlie Philips who spoke of "assigning" a case to Jack McCoy, which I always took more as a administrative role versus a trial role, which put him above Jack in whatever hierarchy worked in the show.

But there were times it very much seemed like Jack WAS the next person in charge if the DA was unavailable until his own appointment.

And then you have the board shown in Season 21 where it seems they had dug it out of storage since it still hate Mike and Connie listed, with Mike being "Chief Assistant District Attorney" before they changed it to "Nolan Price" by the next episode.

I've always been frustrated with the sloppiness of the writing since the show came back and this just adds to the pile.

"It's been a hell of a ride."

It has. I started this show in September of 1998 and even in the periods I didn't watch it too much, there was some comfort that Jack was always there. And I delayed watching this because I just couldn't accept the end.

And now I have.

Memories of days gone by.

[limeinaltime]

This is in response to the recent drama that arose in the fandom recently. For context, here's the post and the response (had to borrow it from another blog because the poster has me blocked). Please read through all of it for context.

I don't usually do this, but I want to state my case on the matter. Note that I will be addressing both callout posts in this, and my contact with both ProjectAnomaly and the unnamed person who sent the DMs was limited. Putting this under a cut because I have some things to say.

Do I support the things mentioned in this post? No. Never. Not in a million years. But this is something that happened two years ago, and I never wanted to be involved in it to begin with.

For starters, let's cover the people I am in contact with.

River (now going as Lizzy) is a friend of mine and someone I've talked to ever since MD's first episode aired, and I can say for a fact that this conversation of adoption and letting them move in with them has played out. At the time, I felt hopeless and wanted to help as well, but Lizzy doesn't owe me anything. A then-13 year old doesn't owe me anything, especially if it's for something like basic empathy. That mindset is a pretty fucked-up thing to have, especially when someone comes to you for comfort. I don't think Juno's intentions were bad, but their reaction to Lizzy cutting ties was.

"I was never that close with them anyway" is a very flippant thing to say about someone you seemingly cared for enough to try and offer help.

Waayix and Belle, I didn't get into proper contact with until after this had passed, but I was aware of what was going on through what Juno and the unnamed person told me. Waayix, I had been contacted by a few times due to similar interests. Do I agree with what they did in the past? No, I don't, but I'll get to that later. I also don't think a minor should go poking around in 18+ spaces, either.

And saying that Waayix was "covering their tracks" when they deleted their own account once all of this started happening recently feels kind of hypocritical. This is a very "what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament" kind of situation"

Waayix doesn't even say she likes it. She says she stays away from it at the point of those messages being sent. I am not defending past actions, but if someone's trying to fix a mistake, you don't just say "Yeah, they're just doing it to cover their tracks" you don't come out and admit stuff if you're trying to cover your tracks. The account was taken down, it doesn't exist anymore, Waayix expressed that they regretted it and it doesn't need to be a whole thing. There was no need to make this a thing.

I was 19 when this happened, and not active on the server where this took place, so my contact with Juno was pretty limited. I had no idea what was going on, and what I said in the post was based solely on what I knew from what I was told by the people I was messaging. I said what I thought based on what I knew and wanted nothing of it. I won't take it back, but I wish I handled it more maturely. When I learned about what happened, I was shocked and blocked Waayix and Belle for a while. I took everything Juno and the other person mentioned here said as fact, and solely based my reactions around that.

What happened was wrong and I won't take back my initial feelings. I was upset and confused because while I didn't know Belle, Waayix was someone who I had admired for their art a while, having only talked to them on sparse occasions. I blocked them because I wanted nothing to do with something I genuinely had nothing to do with. I blocked the unnamed person to tried to contact me because I didn't respond well to sudden mentions of conflict, something I regret in the present. I wish I had made myself more clear, and I wish I had told them. The reason I cut contact was because I wanted nothing to do with this, and I don't want to be connected to someone who reacts in this manner to conflict.

Time passed. The people owned up to it and I decided to give these people a second chance because I wanted to trust that this was a mistake instead of malice. If they did it again, I would've cut ties and left it behind without a second thought, accident or not. But they didn't. The incidents mentioned here never happened again. The choice I made was a conscious one, and one I made long after the incident itself died down.

You can form your own opinions on what this makes me in your eyes, but I want to put how I feel out here before everyone takes what I said in the post as the only way I feel.

I was upset at the time. I'm not anymore, and I don't like that I was used as evidence. The thoughts I had then do not line up with the thoughts I have now. I am not a good source of proof, and I don't want to be proof. I let my own opinions on them form, and I consider them friends that I can trust as of now.

I believe that people should be held accountable for their actions and that all mistakes have consequences. That's how we learn and grow as people. I believe that people are capable of remorse and changing their minds. A bad person feels no pain of their actions and an apology is just words, a good person makes active attempts to be better and push towards amends. If someone says sorry and does good on it with active attempts to be better and rectify what went wrong, then I will forgive them with time. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. But the words I said two years ago do not reflect the words I would've said now, nor should they have been used in this manner. These people have admitted to what happened, owned up to it, and have changed from who they were back then, and for that, I am willing to move on as well.

TL;DR (and I say this to both parties involved): I was upset, and said those things, but I'm not anymore and have forgiven these people and gave them a second chance. No one's obligated to do what I'm doing, but don't put these people on blast, either. Accept that people change and grow, mistakes are admitted but will not always be forgiven, and go on living.

[90stvqueen]

I was tagged by @tunemyart in 20 Questions for Fic Writers like a week ago and I just now saw it so THANK YOU FRIEND

How many works do you have on AO3?

27

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

235,642

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Xena: Warrior Princess (14 works)

Abbott Elementary (10 works)

The X-Files (2 works)

Stranger Things (1 work, is an outlier adn should not be counted bc I wrote it to meditate on internalized homophobia and not bc I ship it)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

say it again (Stranger Things LOL)

remind me tomorrow (Xena)

succ (Xena)

Fritole (Abbott)

No Matter What (Xena)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! It depends on how swamped I am with life stuff, but I like responding to comments because for me, writing is about starting a conversation and building community and connecting.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Depends on how you define angst but probably the fic with the angstiest throughline (like, it starts angsty, stays angsty, ends angsty) is glory glory glory to the night that shows me what i am (Abbott Elementary). But I think the best angst I've written is probably After (also Abbott) because it's a smutty slow-motion trainwreck.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

take these years of mine (Abbott) is probably the happiest thing I've ever written, period. remind me tomorrow has the happiest ending (and is the most lighthearted) of all my Xena fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, but sometimes I get demands for more or for specific plotlines. I worry that if (and WHEN) I don't follow those requested/expected plotlines, there might be some pushback.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Almost exclusively. Although I've been branching out a little more. But yeah. Mostly F/F, some F/F/M and F/F/F, also a decent amount of gender fuckery in various configurations. I would say my smut leans more vanilla, but I've written some kink, and there are definitely elements of kink in some of the vanilla stuff, too.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I do not write crossovers. Maybe someday. But probably not, unless it's purely for the lols

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God I hope not! Not that I'm aware of!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Somebody asked me if they could translate my fic once, but I don't remember what the fic was, and I don't think it ever actually happened. Would love that, though!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Lots and lots. My first big foray into cowriting was with @angelsarenamederika, with whom I wrote a massive amount of trans!Mulder X-Files fic that we never posted anywhere but was an absolute blast to work on. I'm also working on a 5+1 piece for the Work Wives (Abbott) fandom with @the-frankenman-writes, @this-barbie, @katiehoughton, @wolf-government, and @vanillabeanwrites. OH AND! @deirdresart adapted Eromenas into a comic and it's AMAZING.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Xena/Gabrielle

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I refuse to answer this question. I WILL FINISH ALL MY WIPS SO HELP ME GOD

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and interpersonal dynamics and internal reflection (or, in unreliable narrators, lack thereof)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Stealing @tunemyart's response word for word here: Action, movement, and description of setting. I'm really trying to get better about grounding the characters in the world around them instead of some nebulous room. Also writing action without getting bogged down in unnecessary details. It's hard!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Maybe if you know the language and it serves the story or the way the story is being told. Never say never, but it's not something I usually do, because I don't ever really have a reason for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter lol

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Right now, it's After. I worked so hard on it and I learned a lot writing it and I found a community (partially) because of it! I think it's just a really satisfying, angsty/bittersweet read, start to finish. Honorable mention to Eromenas (again plugging the comic here) and five times it was quiet and once it was loud.

This was fun! I'm tagging the people I've already tagged in this (my dear friends and collaborators) and anyone else who might want to do this <3

[lordystrange]

I think when it comes to the Noah situation, there are a lot of things to take into consideration that people just haven’t done. I definitely believe when he made that post originally he could’ve been acting out on emotion. And I do believe Noah’s words from his Instagram post has been misconstrued, bc people have the tendency to take sentences like “I like pancakes” and interpret it as “So you hate waffles?”, but I also think some of his actions have been hurtful and conflicting as well.

I’m glad Noah talked about the topic, I just wish he took more time to make a better thought-out/worded response. So yeah, I think the video could’ve been better but one thing that is also true is that people who want to be mad at him would continue to be mad no matter how well-worded and thought-out the response was.

I hate this whole concept that once you mess up, you cannot be redeemed. He is 19, yes, he should know better when I comes to certain things, but at the end of the day he is still young and has many things to learn. People really love to scream that they “never ___ when they were 19” and they themselves don't realize how immature of a response that is. Ppl just do not give grace at all anymore.

A lot of people have spread misinformation and fallen for propaganda themselves, but want to get mad at Noah for doing the same thing. No one is immune to propaganda but it's also important to admit you fell for it and fucked up instead of being like “oh well, oops” the way I've seen a lot ppl on here do. That's why researching things is important. Now Noah comes from a family of zionists so the fact that he is talking with other people about the conflict is progress imo

I don't support what Israel is doing/the killing of Palestinians and I acknowledge the word zionism means different things to different ppl, but the ppl who are trying to re-define the word completely and say it is the new “nazism” are being racist and don't realize how gross of a thing that is to say. And for ppl saying that Noah is “evil” only to turn around and say horrible things to him in the name of “activism” quite simply do not understand real activism at all.

Could this be PR? Imo… maybe. But I always try to give the benefit of a doubt and honestly, if this was a PR response they should have hopped on it a lot sooner and helped Noah write a better response bc there are certain things that weren't talked about in the video.

You said it well.

Taylor Swift once said ”How can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22?” I think that’s fitting here.

Me at 19 and me now both think we were/are a good person. But me at 19 thought that I was a good person because I’m so smart to not be wrong. Me now knows that I am a good person because I’m smart enough to know that I have been and I’m going to be wrong about things but I’m also smart enough to learn from them.

Also I don’t think people realize how much control PR has over celebrities. I think Noah wanted to be less vague but in order to keep his job, he can’t criticize Israel in any way.

Thank you for the ask!

[moorishflower]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @dsudis! :D Thank you darling! And anyone who sees this and feels the desire to join, please do <3

Blank questions for your convenience! My answers are below the readmore.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

3. what fandoms do you write for?

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

5. do you respond to comments?

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. do you get hate on fics?

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

16. what are your writing strengths?

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

1. how many works do you have on ao3? Currently 218! 2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 1,977,729 3. what fandoms do you write for? Currently, I mainly write for The Sandman, though I periodically have been branching out and writing for whatever catches my fancy (Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, Baldur's Gate 3, and now The Magnus Archives) 4. what are your top five fics by kudos? That would be aulon raid, Ecdysis, That I Should Wedded-Be, Curse of the Green Hag, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. 5. do you respond to comments? I try to on occasion! I usually only get a few in before I start running out of spoons, though. I want each response to be meaningful, but I start running out of different ways to thank people, and so I just...run out of steam. 6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We're going all the way back to my SPN days here. The Last Song is a Dean/Cas fic set in the universe of S5E4 "The End," and is about the moment that Castiel fell and lost his wings. 7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Almost any other fic I've written. Maybe Hallmark-Adjacent? 8. do you get hate on fics? Almost none, thankfully! I've been very lucky. 9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? Ahahah...yeah. Pretty much any kind. There are kinks I haven't written, like watersports, sounding, more extreme BDSM, but that's not because I'm against them, specifically. If I have an idea, I'll generally write it! 10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? I very rarely write crossovers. I think I might've only written three, actually? The most out-there one was probably the BBC Sherlock/Homestuck crossover. 11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. 12. have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, several times! They're lovely, I love seeing translated works. <3 13. have you ever co-written a fic before? I have, though only the once. 14. what’s your all-time favorite ship? Am I super basic if I say that it's a tie between Mulder/Scully and Spock/Kirk? It's hard for me to top the classics. 15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I would really love to finish The Whole of Love Contained, but at this point my writing has changed enough that I would have to rewrite the entire thing, I think. 16. what are your writing strengths? Gosh I don't know I'm bad at this one. Um. Descriptions? 17. what are your writing weaknesses? Pacing, and action scenes, definitely. 18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? What, like, running it through a translator or...? I've done that before, though I usually try to find a beta who speaks the language to go over it. I tend to do it sparingly, though. 19. first fandom you wrote for? Gosh, it might've been Harry Potter. The first fandom that I wrote SERIOUSLY for was Supernatural. 20. favorite fic you’ve ever written? It is, to this day, and might always be, Maybe sprout wings.

[villainousshakespeare]

Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 23

Therapy Fit for a God Chapter 22

Loki/OFC Rated E: Trigger Warnings: Smut, Sex, Oral Sex, Angst, talk of suicide, therapy, unhealthy family dynamics, mention of torture and mind control, touch starved, drinking

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22

Loki’s plans to conquer and rule Midgard have come to a disastrous end. After being captured by the Avengers, he is being held on Earth. Odin has refused to interfere, and the outlook for the God of Mischief appear bleak. His only hope may lie in one mortal woman, a Psychiatric expert brought in to interrogate him.

Dr. Caroline Thorpe is intrigued by Loki and thinks that more lies beneath his actions than is commonly known. Can she find out the truth before he is shipped off to die for crimes against the Earth? And can Loki bring himself to care?

@yespolkadotkitty @just-the-hiddles @hopelessromanticspoonie @wine-and-whines @arch-venus25 @caffiend-queen @devilish–doll @enchantedbyhiddles @hiddlesholic @i-do-not-fangirl-i-fanwoman @kellatron55 @ladyoftheteaandblood @latent-thoughts @yespolkadotkitty@maryxglz @myoxisbroken @nuggsmum @nildespirandum @pedeka @redfoxwritesstuff @sinfully-lustful-darling @vodka-and-some-sass @wrathkitty @kingtwhiddleston @wolfsmom1 @poetic-fiasco @shiningloki @dangertoozmanykids101 @bookworm-christina @amwolowicz @delightfulheartdream @frostbitten-written @what-a-flammable-heart @tom-hlover @nonsensicalobsessions @myraiswack @loki-yoursaviourishere @ghostypau @ms-cellanies @colorfulfreakstudentpizza @mareebird @colorfulfreakstudentpizza  @szycha22 @chokemedaddyloki @queenofallhobos @just-the-hiddles-reads  @alwida10  @justjoanne242 @chantsdemarins @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokiprompts @evieplease​

"Loki! Loki, look at me brother!"

Loki did his best to follow Thor's instructions, but his eyes could barely focus as he raised them to his brother's face. It felt as though all of the emotions in the multiverse were screaming inside Loki's head, pushing for a way out of the confinement of his skull. If his head had burst open and rained chaos on the world, Loki would not have been surprised to see it.

"You do not look well," Thor said with dramatic understatement. "I should go get Mother."

"No!" Loki pulled all of his internal strength together to control the riot of feeling overwhelming him. "Not yet. Tell me."

"Tell you what?" Thor asked, face a mask of panic as he struggled to make sense of his brother's brusque demands.

"Everything," Loki rasped. "How long."

"Since you were brought back?"

Loki shuddered as he tried to come up with a reset moment. He remembered preparing for Thor's coronation. He had thought himself a tangle of feeling then, although it could not compare to this moment.

He had been honestly proud of Thor, his brave older brother looking every inch a hero in his new armor and helm. At the same time, he seemed to be the only one aware of how unprepared Thor was for the responsibility about to be thrust at him. Odin was a great war chief and wise ruler, but he when it came to passing on those skills, he had fallen somewhat flat. After all, when all of your edicts are obeyed as a matter of law, why would you expect that lessons bellowed at your sons would not also be instantly absorbed and made into action?

Loki could tell that Thor had not seen the deeper meaning behind Odin's stories of their history. He saw only the glory of victory, not the cost that those victories levied. When Loki attempted to point out these truths to Thor, his brother accused him of cowardice. When he intimated to Odin that Thor was missing the larger picture, he was accused of envy that the crown would not pass to him, that or trite hopes that the weight of ruling would mature his rash brother. As usual, no one took his concerns seriously.

Which led to another emotion - frustration. Why was it always Thor who was advanced, when Loki was the one who saw, who heard, and understood? What was his great flaw that despite his greater apprehension he was forever second best to Thor?

"Since your coronation," he said, deciding it was as good a starting point as ever.

"There was no coronation Loki, you know that," Thor sounded put out by the subject, but Loki couldn't let it go.

"I remember. You entered to great fanfare."

"And do you remember the Jotuns?" Thor demanded. "The Frost Giants that you let in to ruin the day for me?"

A new wave of feeling surged inside him at the mention of their ancient enemies. Loki slid off the bench onto the floor, eyes welling up with unshed tears. Why? Had something happened at the ceremony? He did vaguely remember a plot to postpone the coronation now, only so that Odin would watch Thor spin out of control and perhaps delay for a few decades.

"Loki, you truly seem unwell. I think we need to get you to mother. These unpleasant memories of your breakdown are not helping either of us."

Breakdown? Was that why he had been in the infirmary? Had Loki been so envious of his brother that he had slipped into madness? That would explain why Sif and Fandral had acted so strangely around him, but Loki was sure there was more. After all, he had suffered humiliation and envy his entire life; why should one more instance be of such great matter?

"You said... mortal Doctor?"

It was the last thing he could remember Thor saying before the deluge had begun. As he brought it up now, new emotions rose to the surface, crowding out the pain. Joy, acceptance, fear, and love. He did not know why, but it was as though a healing balm soothed the raw nerve that was his inner self.

"Loki, something is not right."

Well, obviously! Any number of things were not right. But the mortal, this Doctor he was reaching for a memory of. Loki had the feeling that she was more than alright. She might just be the key to everything.

"Thor, you're back!"

"Mother! Thank all the realms! Come quick."

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki saw the dim shape of Friga sprint onto the terrace, and then she was dropping neatly to the ground beside him.

"Loki! What are you doing out of bed?"

A cool hand was pressed to his forehead, but Loki shied back from it. He did not know what had happened to him, but the fear that these barely remembered feelings might be taken from him again caused him to instinctively recoil.

"No!" he gasped. "I need them!"

"Thor, what happened? What did you say?" their mother turned to her elder son anxiety obvious even through the miasma of Loki's haze.

"Nothing! I told him I was glad to see him looking better," Thor replied defensively. "And he was, until a moment ago!"

"Did you bring up anything about his accident? Or the time he was away? Anything that might have upset him?"

"Upset him, no! I even defended him against Sif and Fandral when they wanted to hold the Midgard nonsense against him!"

"They talked to him about Midgard? What did they say?"

"I don't know exactly I only caught the end of it. You know, just about the invasion, the Chitari, oh! And the Destroyer from before his time in the Void."

The Void! The word chilled him as deeply as Thor's mention of a Doctor had warmed. He had known a Void. Had hoped and dreaded it all at once.

"Loki, listen to me," Frigga was kneeling beside him again. "You have been through a great ordeal. A few days ago, you were almost killed by a blast from a solar phaser. It tried to rewrite all of your atoms into something not able to live. If you had been anyone else, you would not have survived. It was only because of your own fluid nature, that you made it through at all."

"Sounds wonderful," he managed to almost joke.

"You needed all of your strength to live," she continued, ignoring his interjection. "All of your energy to rebuild the pathways of your mind and body. We couldn't have you struggling. We definitely couldn't have you trying to work against us."

It made sense. He had studied for a time with Eir, and he knew that will was just as important in these matters as physical metal.

"There are... some things that happened to you," she went on, choosing her words with obvious care. "Unpleasant things, to put it mildly. You went through a very dark ordeal, my precious son. I am only partially aware of what was done to you, and it is almost more than I can bear. If I had the power, I would hunt down the ones who hurt you and make them pay and pay and pay again."

Friga was not often blood thirsty. If she was so open to revenge now, it must have indeed been a horrible fate he was subjected to.

"In order to allow you time to heal, Eir and I went into your mind. We built a wall between you and the memories of torture. It was our hope that when your body had mended, we could lower the blockade slowly, and allow you some memory of the hell you went through but alleviated by our combined magic. I had not expected you to rise so quickly from your sick bed. I'm afraid the mention of the pain it before we could prepare you has brought it all back at once."

"But it was not mention of Midgard that did this to him," Thor said hastily, sounding for the world like a guilty child.

"Then what?" Friga asked.

"It was when I brought up the woman. Caroline. The one who is in love with him."

"In love with me?" Loki gasped.

Thor had mentioned before that he was courting this mysterious woman, and that Loki claimed to love her. He had also said that she had shot him. That all had seemed to match Loki's expectations when it came to romance. He was not without occasional dalliances, he was a prince after all, but at the end of the day no one was in love with him. Certainly not someone he loved in return. But Thor said this woman... Caroline, a lovely name... was in love with him. So why was she not here, and why had she shot him?

"The woman who shot him?" Friga asked, clearly as surprised as Loki.

"Yes," Thor nodded. "Didn't I tell you that part?"

"It appears to have slipped your mind," she said tartly.

"She and Loki formed an attachment. Friend Stark and I found them hiding after she broke him out of prison. At first, I thought he had kidnapped and enchanted her..."

"Thor!" their mother admonished.

"Well, she was tied up," Thor explained. "But in truth she had fallen in love with him. She is quite lovely, and smart as well. For a mortal."

"Oh, Loki, if only I had known!" Friga exclaimed. "When we cleared your mind of the torture, we must have cleared it of this woman as well."

"Caroline," he said, barely hearing his mother.

A hazy image began to form in his brain. A mass of untidy hair. Kind, keen eyes. A smile that formed at the most odd moments. Loki felt his heart begin to beat a rapid pace. Yet, despite his accelerated heartrate, the roiling pain of negative emotions began to ease even more. The warmth her name inspired spread through Loki, allowing him to breath.

"If what you say is true, where is she?" Friga demaned.

"I don't know," Thor confessed. "I was too concerned with Loki. He was so weak."

Loki winced at the description, but he could tell there was honest fear in his brother's voice, so he let it go.

"I thought only to get him back to Asgard," Thor continued. "I suppose Dr. Caroline would have been taken into SHIELD custody. It would have been easy enough once we had taken the Mind Stone away. In any case, she collapsed herself when Loki dove in front of the gun."

"Why would I do that?" Loki asked, of himself as much as of his brother.

"I have been wondering that myself," Thor said with a shrug.

"Oh Loki," Friga looked at him with compassion in her eyes he did not quite understand. "You do love her."

"Yes," he said slowly, not knowing who she was or what had passed between them, and yet somehow absolutely certain that his mother was right. "Yes, I do."

***

"So, this former patient that Stark was talking about - that was the alien who invaded Manhattan?"

"It was more complicated than that, but yes. Loki," Caroline tried to keep her voice steady as she said his name.

"Excuse me for being blunt, but he's not the best advertisement for sanity."

"I can see why you would think that Mr. Murdock."

Caroline could not blame the man for his skepticism. Even without being able to see her haggard appearance, she knew she presented a far from put together presence. And as much as she loved Loki and understood the reasons for his actions, he had come across as a bit unhinged during the whole invasion.

"Matthew is fine," he told her with a lopsided smile that was somehow boyish. "I've never really talked to a therapist before."

"More a go it alone type?" she asked half-heartedly.

"I guess. Although as Stark pointed out, I do talk to my priest on occasion."

"That wasn't just hyperbole?" her attention was actually drawn for a moment.

"You sound surprised."

"I guess I just don't know a lot of people who actively practice religion. The enhanced individuals I've been working with lately tend to not believe in any higher power than themselves."

"Well, in all fairness your last patient called himself a God."

Caroline tried to hide the wince at the comment. It hurt to talk about Loki as though he were just another client. He had come to be so much more than that to her.

"I don't mean to over-step, but it seems like maybe you need to talk to someone more than I do, Dr. Thorpe."

"Do you moonlight as a priest, Mr. Murdock?" she tried for humor and felt it fall flat.

"Matt. And no, my calling was in a different direction. But circumstances have turned me into a pretty good listener."

"Thanks, but I've been self-indulgent enough these past days," she replied, ignoring his attempted at self-depreciating humor. "I don't need to bore you with my drama."

"Somehow I doubt a relationship with an alien demi-god who tried to crown himself king of New York would be boring."

"No, no it was not. Loki was a lot of things, but boring was never one of them."

"Was a lot of things? Past tense?" he was quick, this lawyer.

"That's the million dollar question. You see, I shot him."

"Shot him? With a gun?"

"A ray gun... sort of. Alien tech."

"Is he alright?"

"I don't know. Thor - his brother - took him back to their planet to heal him. That was over a week ago, and there has been no word since."

"But he was alive when you saw him last?"

"Barely," the image of Loki, breath shallow and unconscious, swam in her suddenly tear-filled eyes. "I didn't mean to shoot him. I was aiming for someone else. Someone who deserved to die. Loki dove in front and took the shot himself."

"Maybe he didn't share your opinion of the intended target."

"Oh, he did," Caroline laughed darkly. "Loki would have happily killed the man himself. I had to make him promise me he wouldn't before we came in fact."

"I don't understand. If you didn't want the man killed, then why -"

"Did I try to shoot him?" she asked. "I know this will sound impossible..."

"Dr. Thorpe, I'm a blind lawyer who fights mystic ninjas in my spare time. Believe me when I tell you very little sounds impossible to me."

Well, when he put it that way...

"I was being mind controlled by a magic rock from outer space."

"Okay, I can see how you might think that could sound unlikely," the half grin was back, but there was a kindness to it that let her know he was not laughing at her but attempting to laugh with her.

"Unlikely, but true. It was what was being used to control Loki during his invasion. We were working, along with Tony and Thor, to contain it and remove it from Earth. Unfortunately, I wasn't strong enough to resist it. Before I knew what I was doing, I was pointing the gun at Secretary Pierce and pulling the trigger."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you said this... rock... was strong enough to control Loki himself?" Matt was leaning forward in concentration.

"Yes," she conceded.

"And he is some sort of magical demi-god himself. So, it doesn't seem like it should be surprising that you would be unable to resist it. Maybe you need to be a little less hard on yourself."

"I shot the man I love."

"No, you didn't," he objected, raising his hand when she tried to argue back. "You shot a man you despised. Secretary Pierce. At least, I assume you despise him since you said he deserved to die. We'll come back to that in a minute. But you shot Pierce. That was your action. It was Loki's action to keep to your shot from hitting its intended target."

"If I hadn't fired, he would still be here."

"You don't know that. None of us can know what might have been. Maybe you would have killed Pierce and soldiers would have burst in and shot you all. You can't ever be sure. All you can be sure of is what did happen. Loki kept you from doing something you could never take back. His love for you was strong enough to spare you the guilt that would have followed you around for the rest of your life."

"How do you know it would have?" she challenged.

"Because you are a good person. I may not know you well, but even brief acquaintance with you is enough to see that. Vengeance isn't ours, Dr. Thorpe. We don't get to decide who lives and who dies. I've watched making that decision consume otherwise good people, until they become a shell of themselves. My guess is your Loki has seen the same thing. You didn't shoot him, he saved you. Don't take that choice, that action away from him."

As Murdock spoke the last words, Caroline felt them strike something within her. All his life, people had taken Loki's choices from him. His parents not telling him his true parentage, Thor's friends refusing to see how his rule played out before turning against him, Thanos torturing him until he could bend Loki's will to his own. Over and over, he had been robbed of his agency. Was she doing that now as well?

"You've given me a lot to think about," she admitted.

"I'm a really good lawyer," he grinned again. "I know how to make an argument."

"Remind me to get your card before you go," she smiled weakly. "I might need a good defense attorney before this whole thing plays out."

"It would be my pleasure, Dr. Thorpe," he said, placing a comforting hand over hers.

"If you want to keep that hand," a deceptively quiet voice spoke from the doorway, "I suggest you remove it from my Lady's. Now."

I’ve never written for Matt before, so hope I have his voice right! Thank you all who are still here!

[veganthranduil]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @fieryphrazes, whose answers I enjoyed reading so much!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

102

2. What is your A03 word count?

1,017,012

Oops.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I have written Terror fics almost exclusively for like four years, with some MASH in between. Right now I'm back at a Pacific Rim fic I started in 2016.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

i have called you by name (Good Omens)

never seek him, defiantly, at night (The Terror)

The Notion of Respectability (The Terror)

Gambling Man (Les Mis) (this one is so funny to me. happy eleven-year anniversary to my child)

flightless bird (dumb, wild, and free) (Good Omens)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! I am slow but I love responding to comments. If you tell me your thoughts on my fic, you unlock extra analysis rambling in response from me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is so hard... I think it's a tie between Robofitz and the one where Francis cheats on his wife with James? But honestly my MASH sports medicine AU deserves a shoutout here too.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm going to say it's the one where the entire Franklin expedition survives (because there was only one bed), for maximum happiness.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes I get comments where the intentions of the commenter are not quite clear to me. I just delete & move on!

9. Do you write smut? If so which kind?

Yes & all kinds?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest crossover you've ever written?

i have never!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have had people ask, but my policy is that any translation of my work should only be up on Ao3, and the people who were asking had been planning to put it up on other fic sites. So not to my knowledge.

I have translated a fic that I wrote from German into English though! It even tries to simulate the formal/informal pronoun switch.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I've always wanted to!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

This is hard... I don't have favourites... but I will say Fitzier if you make me choose

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have so many of those in my folder. Let's not speak of those.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I really like worldbuilding, in the sense of giving characters a politically & socially coherent world to inhabit. I think I am very good at that by nature of my training & academic expertise.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle most with differentiating between internal monologue & external actions. Like, I am constantly reminding myself that not all characters are telepathic and understand each other's actions.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have written both an Expanse AU that used Lang Belta with translations, as well as a Weimar Berlin AU for Fitzier that just straight-up used German without translations. Languages are fun! Put them in more things!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Transformers lol... or I guess Star Wars, but that was not published anywhere

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Past Sins, my James Fitzjames gets blackmailed fic.

I'm tagging @pianodoesterror and @laissezferre!

[nordleuchten]

La Fayette aplogizing to a King for a change

Between purposefully insulting a King (Louis XVIII), completely ignoring the orders of another King (Louis XVI), being responsible for one Kings abdication (Charles X) and helping the next King on the throne, just to then call for his abdication (Louis Philippe I) La Fayette actually also knew to apologize to a King.

After returning to France for the first time, La Fayette was a bit in a pickle. Louis XVI had explicitly forbidden La Fayette from joining the American cause and he had famously ignored this order. While Louis XVI in the end was rather quick to forgive the young Marquis, in parts certainly due to his new popularity in France and abroad, some of the Kings ministers and advisors were of the opinion that some time in the Bastille might help La Fayette to learn his lesson. To smooth things over, La Fayette sat down and very carefully wrote a letter, explaining why he did what he had done and how sorry he was to have offended the King.

The Marquis de La Fayette to Louis XVI, February 19, 1779:

Sellers, John R. “Lafayette Papers at the Library of Congress.” The Quarterly Journal of the Library of Congress, vol. 29, no. 2, 1972, pp. 138–54. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/29781505. Accessed 18 Feb. 2023.

The misfortune of having displeased Your Majesty produces such a deep sense of sorrow that I am encouraged not to try to excuse an action of which you disapprove but to present the real motives that inspired it. Love of my country, the desire to witness the humiliation of her enemies, a political instinct that the last treaty would seem to justify: these, Sire, are the reasons that governed the part I took in the American cause. When I received Your Majesty’s orders, I attributed them more to the solicitations and tender concern of my family than to the prescribed posture we were maintaining toward England. The feelings of my heart overcame my reason. I believed I saw that no one would disapprove of my departure as certainly as I saw the impossibility of its being permitted. If, in my disobedience, I used means that rendered me even more guilty, I risked, Sire, what every Frenchman ought to risk — his fortune, his hopes, and even public opinion — rather than harm the interests of his country by compromising the government through his conduct.

Persuaded that I was blameless, Sire, I fought for my country with a calm heart. I reveled in the pleasure of spilling my blood for her, and I allowed myself to do her homage through the small duties I performed for her allies. The First rumor of a war with England was recalling me to France at the very time that the arrival of Your Majesty’s fleet and the ever patriotic and enlightened opinion of the general who commanded it convined me that my remaining in America would be more useful. When I finally announced to Congress my intention to return, Your Majesty’s minister thought a leave of absence better suited to present circumstances.

I would not think, Sire, of daring to justify before Your Majesty an act of disobedience of which you disapprove and for which I should repent. Even less would I consider boasting of a few services so inferior to the reward that I received from the sheer pleasure of being useful. But it is important to my peace of mind that Your Majesty attribute to its proper motives a conduct that has put me in your disgrace. The nature of my offenses gives me reason to hope that I can efface them. It is through Your Majesty’s indulgence that I shall have the happiness of absolving myself by the means that you will condescend to give me of serving you, in whatever country and in whatever way may be possible.

I am, with the deepest respect, Sire, Your Majesty’s very humble and very obedient servant and faithful subject,

Lafayette

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 2, April 10, 1778–March 20, 1780, Cornell University Press, 1979, pp. 232-234.

[gracelesslady23]

20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ

Thanks for the tag @mycupofrum !!!

Ao3 Username: graceless_lady

1. How many works do you have on A03?

21 fics.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

353k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the ghost of you, it keeps me awake (Sirius/James, M, 73k, WIP)

and a love that I dreamt of came to me at my worst (Sirius/James, E, 90k, complete)

In Plain Sight (Sirius/James, E, 30k, complete)

The Wedding Date (Sirius/James, M, 25k, complete)

you'll see me in hindsight (Sirius/James, E, 35k, complete)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Sometimes it takes me a while to carve out time to give a proper response (esp if pesky RL gets in the way) but I always plan to respond even if it takes me a while. It always, always makes my day to see a comment pop into my inbox and I reread comments a lot to keep up motivation when writing so its the least I can do <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably tell me you love me, come back and haunt me (S/J, 23K, complete) although its more of a bittersweet ending rather than an all out angsty one. I love laying on the angst when working through a fic but always aim to give something hopeful at the end (Sirius and James had enough tragedy in canon imo haha)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm a HEA girlie, so like most of them.

Maybe you'll see me in hindsight because the happy ending was hard won and I lingered in the happy ending for longer than usual.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Rarely, luckily.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes. Usually its pretty vanilla in terms of kink.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No. Well, I did when I was a teen, but those were pretty terrible so luckily there is nothing of that published :P

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dont think so (luckily)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I have been lucky enough to have four translated (or partially translated) from English to 中文-普通话 國語 (links below)!! I am always so flattered when someone offers to translate my fics.

【授翻】In Plain Sight 昭彰 by hsothe

【授翻】在人生低谷中坠入爱河 by MoAhx

【鹿犬】令我无眠的你的幽灵 by amnesiaby

【授权翻译】tell me you love me, come back and haunt me by foxleaaap

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. I'm quite insecure/secretive about my writing before I am ready to publish so I don't know how well my process would work with that... but it would be cool.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Sirius/James always... my longest running ship by far. I always circle back to them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I want you to ruin my life. I ended up anon-ing it because I felt so guilty every time I saw it on my works page. But I just lost the thread of that plot completely and had a few changes in opinions about how I think Sirius in Slytherin would be, which clashed with the story already written. But I'll never so say never, I've started to have some thoughts about it again, so maybe I'll get back into it...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmmm um, the beginning of fic? Idk I feel like writing the set up for fics is at least the easiest part for me. I love thinking up what if scenarios and running from there.

Dialogue and angst & hurt/comfort also comes must easier to me than like action scenes and fluff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Where to start lol, the most frustrating ones for me I think are plotting and writing a satisfying ending/climax.

I also struggle a bit writing clever characters as smart as they should be (hamstrung by my own intelligence lol).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not sure if my opinion really counts here as someone whose only fluent in english, but I like to see it if its done respectfully and makes sense in the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

and a love that I dreamt of came to me at my worst

This was my pet project over a really special time in my life and I think I will always have a massive soft spot for it (and find myself drawn to rereading parts of it often). I also managed to throw in a lot of tropes I personally really enjoy into this one (mid aged Sirius & James, midlife crisis James, competent Sirius (and James), mutual pining, co-dependency, jealous James, Harry having loving parents/adults in his life, etc).

This was so fun! Tagging: @jamesunderwater @bullets-from-another-dimension @lovelymasks @forestdeath1

[sleeplessmidnight26]

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

16. How did you discover AO3?

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

1. SleeplessMidnight was just something I thought of because I can’t sleep at night I guess. 😅 seemed like a cool username and now it’s stuck haha.

2. Before He Cheats is the my most popular, it had the most response, probably because of the huge twist I threw in there.

4. (I assume this should be 3 but I’m keeping it 4 to keep from confusion) Yes I have a few regular commenters. I do love getting comments and try to respond to each one as quick as possible.

5. I do keep going back to read Love Me (With No Explanation).

If you’re talking about mine, I keep going back to read You’re Safe Now. Because this one is the most meaningful to me. It helped me work through the abusive relationship I had with my last job.

7. I guess I find myself writing AU no powers with Marvel. I have written other fandoms but haven’t posted them on my AO3 account. Or like AU somewhat along the canon storyline with my own twist.

9. Hmmm 🤔 I guess I’ve got some ideas for some stories. I’ve been thinking of a threesome kinda situation 🫣 also maybe like a torture scene. Both I haven’t written but low key want to.

10. I guess I’d like to be better at writing smut? 😅🫣 I feel like my writing on that isn’t good. Like every scene I write, I delete and re-write it. I’d also love to be able to upload more but life 🤷🏽‍♀️

13. Too many to count. Haha 😂 one day I’ll get around to uploading them.

15. I have not co-authored a story. But I would love to if the opportunity came up.

16. My cousin showed me. I originally started on fanfiction.net not anything that was good but I’m locked out of my account so I can’t get back to that.

17. I wouldn’t consider myself famous, although I do find it wild that I got so many requests. I’d say I’m becoming well known but I wouldn’t consider myself famous yet.

18. I don’t know what I would call my readers/fans (omg I have fans😳) but if anyone wants to name them, go for it 😅

19. Not really. I’ve always kind of wrote stories, it’s been my coping mechanism. I stopped for a while because I was battling self harm but I’m now six years free of SH.

20. Just write, don’t think about who’s going to read it or if it’s good. Just write what you want. You can go back to edit later.

22. I’ve gotten a couple. I just ignore it or kill it with kindness. One comment I didn’t even get a chance to respond to before another reader came to my aid.

23 Smut, I’m so self conscious that I’m writing it wrong. 🫣

24. I have so many. My first request. I’ve also got some ideas that I need to get too. I have too many WIPs that it’s a problem.

27. I definitely feel like I have, or I hope I have.

28. My favourite story I’ve written would probably be beautiful trauma. It’s very different focusing on such an age gap.

29. Unexpected True Mates. It’s my first omegaverse story and I feel like I’m butchering it. Probably why it’s taking me so long to finish it 🫣

30. Honestly, I have been thinking of writing an actual book and getting it published. So maybe I’ll work on that. But I don’t know who would read it. 🫣

Wow that’s quite the series of questions 😂 it’s still wild to me that I have fans and people that want to ask me questions. But I do enjoy the interaction. Which is why I love comments. 🫶🏽 thank you!