#I thought it couldn't get more homoerotic but that was just straight up gay gay homosexual gay

[alexvacice]

Fellas is it gay to murder your fianceé so you can lie in bed next to your bestfriend/worst enemy while crying and traumatizing each other for the rest of your lives?

[horsefreek151]

My husband's First time Watching Twilight

My dear husband has not seen many of the movies that were very informative of my tween and teen years; Twilight is one of the top ones. He not only agreed to watch it but agreed to let me write down his reactions. Here are the 3 PAGES of comments I recorded during the two hour movie.

Opening line: "I'd never given much thought to how I would die." - Well, Lucky you

I'm glad this deer is going to be totally unharmed

What ?! Hang on... He catches the dear mid jump like a trick dog.

Him: Why is (Stephany Myers) so obsessed with baseball? Me: Shes Mormon Him: I think it's the homoerotic subtext

ACAB even (Charly)

Alright... one bathroom? There's only two of you!

Billy (who is in a wheelchair) responds with how hes doing by saying "Still Dancing!" - I love him Meets Eric - GAY BEST FRIEND *He was disappointed by him being straight* *Pauses Movie* I had no idea her name was Isabella

Mike Existing - That's the most awkward person Ive ever seen

Jerk kisses her on the cheek without consent - That's assault

*Edward walks in* - OMG thats BATMAN *JKJKJK*

How ... Why ... Why is she laughing.

So he can see the future... Nobody in this movie knows how to eat food. Fuck you, Binder! She is the awkward one Charly Guy in Mill getting hunted - Hes agile I would have fallen over by then. Bella slips and falls over - Relatable *he is unaware of the trope* "Not in Phoenix Bells" Line referring to large animals hunting people in Forks - "YoU DoNt HaVe AnImAls iN ArIzOnA" What do you mean Charly!? They have Mountain Lions and SNAKES Charly! *I mention scorpions too* No writer in this movie ever talked to a high schooler. "Your name is Bella?" - Its actually Isabella as I have learned I only care about this golden onion... and why it isn't a golden garlic. "Cold wet thing" - Unlike sand which is hot and course She also looks like shes in white face paint. (Edward) just walks away like a fucking freak... I love it. None of these people have ever talked to a human before. *Car Crash* - So much is happening... why are there so many cuts... The vampires all look like fucking mimes Your asking him about the speed he got there and not the CRUMPLED DOOR?!

Dont worry (Bella) Im also confused about what happened *Edward in the corner of her room* Hes like a fucking PTSD flashback. Hes a fucking sleep paralysis demon Its dumb to send (the vampires) to highschool. I didn't know one of (Bellas) personality traits was Clumsy There Bio teacher belongs in a sitcom They act like they are fifty or twelve... not like teenagers... twelve is more accurate. The most unrealistic part (of there field trip) is that the bus driver is not screaming at him for banging on the door... or maybe I grew up in Boston. *Edward dose the apple thing* - Ok now he's just making fun of her Robert Patterson and the guy playing Charly are the best actors. Edward mentions wearing a mask, and Bella quips about it - OOOOO, She called Edward out for being autistic! *He can say that as I am autistic and I give him permission* *Edward cant go to LaPush* - Is it cause he cant cross moving water? *He made so many jokes about vampire lore I didn't write them all down* I was trying to tell what time this flashback took place and I just couldn't. I'm glad they gave us a 30-second tutorial on how to get a book online. Some of this look like a horror movie TOKYO DRIFTING, Dam that was a fuckin j-turn! "Little do (her friends know) he was going to eat her, for her blood" Oh Bella, I understand he's a pretty boy, but back up from the "How do you know what he was thinking?" and back to the "WHY WERE YOU STALKING ME!?" I can't wait for the almost SA scene to never come up again... *sarcasm* * They touch hands by oops * - Touch Barrier Broken Charly and Billy watch the game - DAD DATE! ... Oh no not Butcrack SANTA! Looks at Jasper - Is he another vampire who fought for the Confederacy? She sees buttcrack Santa's body - Do they not have body bags? With how much he's stalking her he should be called Edward the Relentless *he loves what we do in the shadows* Why are we spinning... why is there so much spinning? Bella claims Edward talks old-fashioned - He talks like a badly written character... like everyone here. "you won't hurt me" - cause stalkers never escalate violence when things don't work out. Because she's a white woman, and he's her pit bull. LISTEN TO HIM WHEN HE SAYS HES DANGEROUS BELLA. "personal brand of heroine" - Him: because everyone knows heroine comes in brands Me: Im on name brand Meth (me referring to my ADHD MEDS) Him: You're on generic Meth, and you know it. (as I take the generic brand) YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR LIKE A WEEK "Irevicoably in love with him" - GIRL... WHY? Sees Emmit - He kinda looks like Peet Davidson I like (Edwards) sitting like a little weirdo He turned to madly in love on a dime. Wait hang on.... (skips back to Billy giving Bella the stinkeye) Eyyyy They do what we do! (Billy holding all the stuff while Jacob pushes, like we do with my wheelchair) Just Sees Jasper - "Ive never seen more fear in a character than in his face right now

Is he scared she will know he fought for the Confederacy? (I have yet to confirm or deny the truth of this statement) Alice being Alice - OOoO Edward, she's gonna steal your girl! No wonder he's fallen in love in 3 seconds... he's been seventh wheel for who knows how long. *there dancing in edwards room* - *husband starts singing my fair lady* "Hang on Spider Monkey" - IT's THE LINE!!! *I mention how it's creepy that he watches her sleep* Well, you watch me while I sleep, but you have insomnia... and were married. *they kiss*- This is the most Mormon shit I've ever seen. At least they show how realistically boaring being a vampire would be. Drinking while cleaning your shotgun... that's totally safe Charly... "Why do you play baseball?" - Since they are American Bella! - "Well it is the American past time" Esme says - SEE! The Thrupple of trouble is walking in like there ready for a photoshoot. Blond Thrupple guy (James) looks so High... "...STuck here like MOM" - OOF! KNIFE TO THE HEART! Did her friends just steal mugs from the diner? Edward won't stop drinking her blood - Bop him on the nose with a newspaper like a dog. Edward sad he "didn't" stop - But you did stop when Carlile bopped you on the head with a newspaper. We kissed once now were in love forever.... They are all weirdos and this feels like a cult Director of Photography, I hate you. Costume? I can't forgive you for that flashback. High school science teacher, you were my favorite. His final review: This was a bad movie. There are better vampire movies, there's better romance movies and better young adult movies. All the genera are valed, this is just a bad example of all of those generas. I understand why its popular tho, and why young woman loved it. Especially when you take in at the time, it came out. Its the American mix of all about sex but completely clean and demonising sex and not having any sex in it. To me its the same way that 50 shades of gray wants to be about sexy bdsm while still saying bdsm is morally wrong. Nothing wrong with wanting a sexy vampire with wanting a romance, I like romance. Theres nothing wrong with media for young women. This is just bad.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: june 2023

as promised (to myself) I spent all of gay months reading books by and/or about the gays, no exceptions! (unless you count the heaps of old Batman comics I was reading, but come on. it's all pretty fruity.) the trend will be continuing into July as well because I overshot and still have book I need to finish, so in the immortal words of Janelle Monáe: happy pride forever!

anyway, what have I actually been reading?

Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone, 2019) - man, I've been meaning to read this FOREVER! and I'm glad I finally did. Gladstone's space opera follows ultrawealthy tech genius Vivian Liao, a sort of dykey Lex Luthor who's CERTAIN that she's the good guy. okay, yes, she's trying to get control of the nukes, but she's not going to use them. it's just that the world's a mess and she needs to be in charge. unfortunately our girl Vivian doesn't get far in her master plan before she's transported across the galaxy and finds herself on the run from the all-powerful Empress in the company of a cybernetic monk named Hong and the legendary space pirate Zanj, the Empress' greatest enemy. from there our heroes are off on a slow, messy quest across the galaxy as they make new friends, grow as people, and strive to bring the Empress down. it's a very long book and can feel slow in places, but all of the time devoted to fleshing out the characters ultimately pays off as their stories converge into a resonant narrative about the notion of identity and what it means to be yourself. if you like Becky Chambers' Wayfarer books of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, get on this shit.

also hey listen Max Gladstone is having a bit of a Moment rn; the book he coauthored with Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War, is getting a huge boost thanks to the Trigun (????) fandom??? over on Twitter, and you should definitely go check it out

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2016) - Ward is a brilliant queer feminist writer; rigorous and insightful while keeping her work imminently readable. while the title may sound facetious, Ward actually takes entirely at face value that there are men having sex with each other an engaging in otherwise homoerotic activities - mutual jerkoffs, hazing rituals that involve anal penetration - that sincerely aren't stemming from a place of gay desire and asks us what the fuck we're supposed to make of that. what results is a fascinating look at masculinity and the intricate rituals that both subvert and maintain it. shockingly thought provoking for a book that contains so many transcribed craigslist posts of men looking for straight guys to have totally normal hetero dudesex with!

The Latinos of Asia: How Filipinos Break the Rules of Race (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2016) - I was lucky enough to get to see Ocampo (who is gay) speaking at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity this year, and naturally I had to buy one of his books while I was there. I strongly suspect he's about to become one of my new favorite nonfiction writers, because the Latinos of Asia was a brilliant read that I really couldn't put down. Ocampo (who's also Filipino!) delves into the formation of Filipino-Americans' racial identity, and finds that many feel caught between the most conventionally accepted racial categories - feeling alienated from the idea of Asian identity, which is often perceived as pertaining to East Asians like Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, and instead relating much more firmly to Mexican-Americans and other Latinos. it's a FASCINATING study on race and one (of many!) loopholes that exists in this very large, messy, totally made up construct of race.

A Lady for a Duke (Alexis Hall, 2022) - for my pride month romance novel I wanted to read something that I might actually like. I've previously adored Hall's genre-fucking ultra-queer Sherlock Holmes pastiche, the Affair of the Mysterious Letter, and Lady for a Duke was really well-reviewed, so my hopes were high! and you know what? I fucking loved this. it was like cotton candy, perfectly sweet and made to be inhaled without a second thought. Our Heroine Viola was the heir to an estate who faked her death at Waterloo so that she could run away and be herself - that's right baby, this is a 19th century trans lady romance! she reconnects with her old BFF the Duke of Gracewood, who's been catatonically depressed since losing his best friend in the war, and reader, you will not believe what happens next. just kidding, you totally will: they want to kiss each other so bad! they're yearning so bad and it's great. it's a very silly book and Gracewood is the most unexpectedly forward-thinking 19th century duke EVER who is instantly down to accept Viola entirely as a woman and thinks that having biological children is overrated, and you know what? that rules. I'm not reading this book for historical accuracy I'm reading it to watch a man beg his girlfriend to fuck him tenderly in the ass. and she does!!! if I'm being honest everything after they finally hook up is kind of nonsense and the book probably is too long, but god it's a delightful time.

Chlorine (Jade Song, 2023) - back in the days of twitter I started following Jade Song as soon as they announced selling this book, the story of a competitive high school swimmer succumbing to obsession as she fantasizes about becoming a mermaid. finally getting to pick up the book from the library and actually read it felt crazy after existing in potentia for so long! while Song's novel is a little rough in some places in exactly the way I expect from a debut, it's still gripping and visceral. our protagonist lives in an intense and demanding world, striving to please an overly handsy coach, wanting to please the immigrant parents she can barely speak to, stumbling through sex with boys on her team while longing for her female best friend. through it all she fixates on mermaids, and the story is told in flashbacks building up to a drastic act of self-mutilation at a swim meet. it's definitely not the right book for the faint of heart or anyone looking for feel-good fluff, but it's harrowing in the best way.

Vagabonds! (Eloghosa Osunde, 2022) - gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! Osunde celebrates queer life - those called vagabonds, society's outliers - in Lagos, Nigeria, slipping between the real world of social stigma, oppressive religion, judgmental family, and dangerous politics, and the world of magic, gods, and the unreal, blending the two together in an effortlessly dizzying effect. the ultrawealthy hide behind layers of flawless masks to conceal their identities, a lonely woman dying of cancer summons up a daughter than only she can see, and a young man channels the devil to raise his murdered lover. while the stories start bleak, firmly establishing the danger of life on the margins, they gather speed with increasing warmth and love as the story progresses, eventually bringing all of our protagonists together in glorious, life-affirming celebration of vagabonds and all who love them. Nigeria, in Osunde's hands, reads much like family - imperfect, sometimes even awful, but also capable of harboring tremendous love, surprising tenderness, and still worth holding out hope for. I think measuring books in terms of relatability is a fool's game, but as an American queer watching more and more legislation and persecution roll out against my people each day, it was hard not to feel a cord being struck. Vagabonds! is a beautiful reminder that queer resilience is eternal, and reader, I did cry.

Quietly Hostile (Samantha Irby, 2023) - I was a ride or die bitch for Sam Irby even before she picked up and moved to my small Michigan city, effectively becoming my neighbor. (not really, but she is married to the mother of a friend of a friend, so.) despite this, I will freely admit that I was a little underwhelmed by her last release, 2020's Wow, No Thank You. it's possible that WNTY was damned by its March 2020 release, putting it in the awkward position of being a humorous essay collection creeping out into the world at a time when everyone was paranoid and nothing was funny; maybe on a reread I would receive it a bit more warmly. Quietly Hostile, on the other hand, is just stupid funny right out of the gate. Sam Irby is old (see: in her early 40s) and going downhill, writing candidly about peeing her pants everywhere, adopting a rancid little dog, getting sent to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction, and jacking off to plot-heavy porn of elderly lesbian nuns. it takes a little bit of work to get me to actually laugh out loud at a book but man, I was chortling. if you don't already know her work, this is a sign from god (me) to check Samantha Irby out now.

what am I reading now?

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - the was one of the oldest queer novels(TM) on my list and I really wanted to knock it out for pride month. the Malaysian setting and culture is a welcome addition to contemporary urban fantasy, but I'm not sure I'm crazy about the story overall. and yet, I'm over 200 pages deep and don't want to give up, so ? I guess I'm persisting.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - my local library lost their copy just in time for pride month, so I bought one on ebay for all of nine dollars. haven't started yet, but I'm really excited to finally pop that proverbial Baldwin cherry!

[infernalrevenge]

Hello! Could you do Mia Winters x Alcina Dimitrescu with a romantic dynamic?

Alcina Dimitrescu x Mia Winters (Romantic)

Someone help Alcina, Mia has gone OFF THE RAILS (I just really love the thought of Mia being feral, if you couldn't already tell from my previous asks.)

Their "courtship" probably involved a lot of fighting, and by that I mean it has the same energy as homoerotic swordfights where someone uses the tip of their sword to nudge the other person to look up at them from their place on the floor.

Until eventually they build a begrudging respect for one another which evolves to something more. Then one day, barely even realizing it, they just started kissing and it felt like a very normal transition.

Enemies to lovers type of shit hell yeah.

Mia probably teases Alcina about liking her in a "HA you had a crush on me? Embarrassing." ".....we're married, Mia" "Still." kind of way.

I mean who wouldn't be attracted to a chainsaw-wielding feral woman? As soon as Alcina saw how far Mia could throw a man, she knew she wanted to put a ring on it.

As for Mia? Of course seeing Alcina's strength on full display sent her running straight (gay) towards her -- and it wasn't just to fight.

Mia tries her best to get along with her three new daughters, taking their teasing in stride. At first she may have been a little scared of them but once she figured out how to trust that they won't hurt her, then things were alright.

Alcina would only ever allow herself to be truly vulnerable in front of Mia, especially since they would've been through so much together.

I like to think they would have a healthy relationship through it all. They're both the type of people who just have so much love to give, it just needs to go to the right people. And with each other, it did.