#I thought I’d get somehow attached after having sex because it’s me hello

[saintlaurentbb1]

[etherealeeknow]

the fwb rules

• rated m for mature

• pairing: fwb!hyunjin x fem!reader

• wc: 4.559

• tw: explicit language, light characterization of an insecure reader, unprotected piv sex (stay safe, lovelies!), fingering & oral (f), nipple play, cream pie— i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:

• note: last time i said long fic isn’t my forte and this time i’ll still say the same hahahahaha. but still, i hope i don’t disappoint 🥺 please kindly note that english isn’t my first language. therefore, i apologize for any mistakes. feedbacks are always appreciated because i’d love to grow! thank you for waiting and enjoy 💞 pretty banner made by my bestie!! ilysm 😽😽😽

• tag list: @charlieshelves @es-kay-zee @formidxble @oh-my-sparkle @bobateastay @http-hyxnjxn @lyralurexrattle @hyunsluvv @healinghyunjin @sailorhyunjinz

—

what happened to the rules?

it didn’t start off like this. you can’t remember when exactly you started wondering about the five word question. all you know is that you were one bite away from gobbling a spoonful of jisung’s ice cream when it struck you: since when did you and hyunjin stop going by the rules? he’s been occasionally texting you out of the blue lately just to know what you’re up to, and today he even asked you to stay the night at his, and as much as you want to believe they’re all normal, again, it didn’t start off like this. from the beginning, you and hyunjin have come up with three rules so your relationship can work: one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking. but look at you now, lying naked and out of breath under his blanket while facing his ceiling, driving yourself insane over the haunted question. you have to get it off your chest somehow, but how? 

“hey, why so serious?” asks the culprit behind your overthinking, causing you to jump slightly over his sudden appearance and your hands instinctively pull up the blanket to cover your naked chest, which as a result, makes him chuckle. cute. “here. it’s my cousin’s,” adds the topless man as he sits on the edge of the bed and hands you a white shirt that even under the dim light, you can already tell won’t fit you.

“your cousin? the model? hyunjin, she’s tiny,” you utter, hands still gripping onto the blanket. “i’m—“

“you,” he cuts you off, placing a hand on top of yours while carefully glancing at you to make sure you there aren’t any signs of discomfort. “are fine, y/n. now hurry up. i’m sleepy,” he adds before letting go, leaving behind a lingering warmth on your knuckles.

nodding, you turn your back on him to change, and the room falls silent, causing you to hear how fast your heart is thumping even more than it should have. is it because you had too much coffee this morning? or it can probably be because the shirt is too tight that it’s cutting off your air circulation, right? right, of course. you tell yourself because as much as you dislike both reasons, they are still far better than having hyunjin as the cause.

once you’re done, hyunjin already has his back lying against the bedhead, his head tilting slightly to the side, avoiding the light coming from the night lamp on the bedside table, while his eyes bore deeply into yours. unbothered that he’s been caught staring, he averts his gaze downwards till they reach your chest and spot how your nipples are sticking out through the thin fabric.

“see? it fits you just fine,” he says, turning his vision back to your face as he opens his arms and motions them at you, only to have you remain in the same position with your increasing heartbeat.

“aren’t you gonna, uh, wear something?”

instead of a proper answer, all you get is his laugh—hyunjin’s contagious laugh that usually always succeeds in making you laugh too. but today hits differently. has his laugh always sounded this lighthearted before? no matter what the answer is, one thing for sure is that despite how sweet hwang hyunjin and his laugh are, they have never made your cheeks burn like this before, and this is forbidden. it’s against the rules.

“an hour ago we were naked while sucking each other’s face, y/n,” he finally answers after a while. “besides, i always sleep like this. now, come on,” he adds, repeating the same gesture, except this time his hands are open wider, eager to have you near him again because the space around him is starting to make him feel lonely.

complying with him, you fall into his embrace and hyunjin immediately lets his hands travel to the exact places of where they want to be—one around your head and the other around your waist. despite the room turning less cold with his warmth directly passing onto you, your heart and cheeks conditions remain the same especially since you can hear how hyunjin’s heartbeats are beating just as fast as yours when he lets you lay your head on his chest.

“hyunjin,” you call out, hands fiddling with the collar of your shirt.

“y/n,” he replies, replacing the collar with his fingers instead, intertwining them with yours.

what happened to the rules?

“do... do fwb do these?” you ask, the bravery in you finally decide to show up, even just for a little.

“do this?” he asks back while squeezing your hand with all his might, as if he’s nervous.

no. not ‘this’, but ‘these’. not only the hand grabbing, but also the fact that he asked you to stay the night, that he’s cuddling you to sleep, and that you’ve been getting unusual symptoms over them until this very moment.

“yes, this,” you nod and hyunjin becomes muted, but his heartbeats are growing louder, and his grip on you has become tighter.

after what feels like forever, he whispers, voice slightly cracking, and hands getting a little colder, “yes. yes, they do.”

then the two of you become muted, but both heartbeats keep growing louder, and everything stays that way until sleep eventually takes over.

—

as a homebody, you’ve always against the idea of sleepovers. you believe home is the sweetest place and your own bed is the comfiest even when your mattress is older than a decade and your favorite plushie has had too many holes here and there. but waking up in hyunjin’s bed has broken your stigma—never in your whole life that you’d have thought someone else’s bed can provide you twice the comfort.

“looks like someone had a good sleep,” chirps jisung as he sits beside you, causing you to wipe off the smile on your face before going back to your laptop.

“wow suddenly my best friend’s a psychic?”

“hey, that’d actually make a great drama title!” he exclaims and you roll your eyes. “please do spill the tea though. what happened?” he adds.

“what happened?” you ask back, eyes still on the screen, but the corner of your lips are on the verge of breaking into the smile, knowing full well he’ll complain—which he does by lamely calling you a meanie.

laughing, you tell him nothing happened, but the way he rolls his eyes is a sign he’s not taking any of your bullshit. you are telling the truth though. besides spending the night with each other, nothing really happened, right? it was just another casual fucking session. yes, it was amazing, but that’s no news for jisung. the guy’s practically your wingman—setting you up with hyunjin was his idea because he believes you should, “live your life. have that dreamy college sex orelse you’ll regret it like my old man changbin!”

right on cue, a notification popped out on your big screen, and the sender’s name makes your heart pop too.

“aha, see!” jisung points at it. “y/n, where are you?” he reads out loud, earning yourselves all the eyes from every other student in class.

“oh my god, jisung. shut up!” right when you’re about to log out from the chat app, hyunjin sends another one.

“can i call you?” jisung reads once more and you’re only one second away from smacking his head, but your vibrating phone holds you back.

shooting jisung a glare, you make sure to close your laptop before leaving the class, answering hyunjin’s call even when you’re still half way through the door. right when you’re about to greet him hello, hyunjin beats you to it—his voice a bit raspy, but the softness in his tone still lies within, and it creates endless questions in your mind.

has he just woken up? so is this how he sounds in the morning? why is he calling?

and the list goes on because this isn’t like hyunjin at all. sure, he’s not validating the rules, but he’s breaking his character despite already alarming you to anticipate morning booty calls from him at times. he’s never actually done that though. 

“hi,” you reply, startling yourself with how small your voice came out.

“you left,” says hyunjin and you can hear him sighing from the other line, which somehow causes a slight pang in your heart, wondering if perhaps he is disappointed. “can you come back? wait, actually, let me go to you instead.” he says and you can hear the rustling sounds coming from his side.

“hyunjin, i have class. that’s why i left. i—” should you apologize? but why should you? casual, no strings attached, and no fucks given, remember? “i’m sorry.”

“oh.” hyunjin stops on his track before plopping back down onto the bed, smiling. “i’ll pick you up after class then. when will you finish?”

unconsciously, a smile creeps up your face too, but the realization hits you right after, then followed by the five word question, and you know—you know this is your guts telling you that now’s the time to ask him about it, but your heart hates confrontation. plus, wouldn’t it be rude to reply to someone else’s question with a question? “hyunjin, are you, uh, horny?”

just like yesterday, hyunjin laughs, and with the raspiness in his voice still present, he doesn’t fail to make you laugh along, but at the same time waking the butterflies in your stomach and makes you rethink your decision. mayhaps, you should’ve left him a note or told him that you’ll leave early in the morning; or even, you should’ve ditched classes today and stayed so when he wakes up, you can get him a glass of water, not leaving the boy uncared for like this. but who are you to do so? 

“isn’t it normal for a guy to have a morning wood?” he jokes before quickly adding that he’s not horny. “i just want to see you so let me go get you.”

pressing your lips together, you contemplate on whether you should let him. if you do, won’t you be turning whatever the two of you have right now into something far more complicated? but it’s only until hyunjin adds a desperate “please?” that all of your dilemma disappears, as if you’re being cast into his spell—“okay.”

—

while heading to the gate, you have the biggest urge to book a massage appointment. dodging jisung’s questions and running away from him after the first period was draining, but having to spend the day running back and forth between two buildings because thinking that volunteering as the lecturers’ teaching assistant was draining on a whole new level. other than feeling like your legs are gonna come off, your mind also feels like it’s gonna blow off—you can’t stop recalling all the things you need to start working on as soon as possible, but stepping into hyunjin’s car turns everything to 180 degrees.

you’d like to think that it’s because of the faint lavender aroma coming from his car freshener along with the heavenly cool air conditioner, but no. you know full well it’s because of the way hyunjin’s smile lit up, his eyes disappear into two small crescent moons, and his blonde hair which is becoming one with the warm orange sky that brings peace to your heart.

“hi,” he breathes out the moment you close the door, and you do the same except for looking at him, which causes hyunjin to furrow his eyebrows while speeding away.

the way home is silent, just the way you like it, but you know full well that it’s not hyunjin’s cup of tea. he doesn’t need to say it, his action is showing it all as he’s been fidgeting non stop, wiping his sweaty palm along his jeans while occasionally licking his plump lips. hyunjin’s a very vocal person. he’s talkative and loud—including in bed. you press your warm cheeks over the realization of your own thoughts, embarrassed. you can’t possibly suspect hyunjin for being horny in the morning when you yourself are being like this in the afternoon. it’s uncalled for.

noticing you from the corner of his eye, hyunjin calls out, asking you if there’s anything wrong, totally catching you off guard. what should you say? lying is not your forte, but being honest clearly isn’t the best option right now, at least, not before you shower and appear presentable in front of him—but wait, since when did that matter so much? a few months ago, you even fucked after you ran a marathon.

“y/n?” calls hyunjin for the second time.

“look, hyunjin, really, it’s okay if you’re horny. you can pull over and i can, uh, relieve you and i can just take the bus home after,” you spit out shamelessly while looking at him straight in the eyes, eager to get far away from hyunjin as fast as possible before you go out of your mind.

just like the night before, hyunjin laughs. and just like the night before, his laugh hits differently and it does nothing other than burning your already burnt cheeks for the worse.

“i swear to god, y/n, i’m not horny. i genuinely want to take you home. nothing more,” explains hyunjin, head straight at the road but eyes repeatedly stealing glances at you. “and nothing less,” he adds, voice barely audible but you caught it.

“o— oh.” is all you manage to respond before the ride quickly turns quiet and hyunjin’s hands begin fidgeting again, all the while you’re trying to decode what he has just said—what does he mean by genuinely wanting to take you home? do fwb do this too? what happened to no fucks given?—and it goes on until hyunjin hits the break in front of your old apartment building.

“we’re here,” says hyunjin, breaking the silence by unlocking the car door.

“we’re here,” you repeat after him, already opening the door and setting a foot out. “uh, thank you.”

“don’t mention it.” hyunjin shoots you his signature smile the moment you lower yourself to meet his eye level from outside the car; this time, you have no choice but to fall under his spell.

“hey, uh, you wanna come in?” you ask, biting your lower lip as a way to punish yourself for being so indecisive. one second you want to run away from him and the next second you want to be near him. come on, get a grip.

as if the punishment isn’t enough, hyunjin declines your offer, all while chuckling with his head thrown back. “for the third time, y/n. i’m not horny. go in and rest up.” 

“if you say so.” you shrug, giving him a small smile before turning around, making sure not to look back, only to fail when you hear the engine driving away.

—

you can’t quite tell—no, you can’t tell. you don’t get it. there’s an unexplainable empty space in your heart that is caused by hyunjin’s rejection. is it because you’re just not used to see him without having to fuck him? or is it because you’re hurt over the fact that he’s not in the mood to touch you? is it because of last night? is he finally sick of your flaws? things would probably be different if you had retouched your makeup or at least combed your hair before seeing him, would they? either way, you’re fully aware you shouldn’t be torn over your friend with benefits, yet your aching heart says otherwise.

and so when the doorbell rings only a few seconds after you get in and the figure you see through the peephole is no other than the man in question, you spare no time to swing the door open. hyunjin, in return, spares no time to lock his lips with yours right after he utters a brief apology. just like the way hyunjin sneaks his playful hands down your ass, you sneak your tongue in his mouth, and your action makes him smile into the kiss as he leads you back into the room and kicks the door shut with his long legs.

the way to your bedroom is actually pretty short, but with your tongues moving in sync, bodies pressing—glued, even, and eyes continuously closing in pleasure, the short way to your bedroom consists of endless stumbling, tripping, and bumping the door. once inside, you break the kiss and are about to undress yourself when hyunjin beats you to it, settling you down on the bed as he begins taking off your attire one by one ever so effortlessly. and in just a matter of seconds, his lips are back on yours again, floral scented hair falling and brushing against your cheeks, leaving you no time to wonder over the fact that it��s the first time hyunjin has ever undressed you. 

as the kiss continues, you can feel yourself gushing more and more that you start grinding on him mindlessly, needing to feel more than just his bulge poking you. your hands leave his blonde strands to tug on his hoodie, only to have him stop you—one hand around your grip and the other rests on your hip.

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“need you. need to feel you,” you mumble, desperation so visible through your cracked voice. 

“what happened to the girl who was all flustered to sleep with me last night just because i was shirtless?”

autumn nights aren’t supposed to be hot, but hyunjin has proven he has the power to make the impossible happen just with his words and mocking smirk. but the rising heat on your cheeks is nothing compared to the emptiness you feel below, clenching around nothing surely isn’t the best feeling.

“please, jinnie,” you whine, tugging on his hoodie once more, hips moving against his hold.

“fuck.” is all he manages to say before getting off the bed to disrobe himself—hoodie and track pants thrown across the room, now showcasing his toned body and thighs altogether as he hovers over you.

“please take this off too. it looks suffocating,” you say, index finger running faintly through the bulge forming from his tight boxer, making it stand up even more and hyunjin has no choice but to obey you. “put your hair up too please,” you add just when he’s about to dive right back in, and again, your wish is his command.

biting to pull off his hair tie from his wrist, hyunjin smoothly ties his hair back and you’re only given a few seconds to admire his feature before his plump lips coming in contact with your hardened nipple while he toys with the other using his fingers—rubbing and pinching, making your breath hitch over the sensation, fingers digging into his bare shoulders because you don’t want to mess up his hair, and hyunjin’s low grunts pretty much indicate he’s loving it.

“more, please. give me m—”

hyunjin retreats his hand and tongue away from your breast, moving them to your naked pussy,  drawing circles on your outer labia with his middle finger. he teases you just enough and quickly slides in his digit and at the same time sucks on your clit right before you’re about to complain, making you tingle from head to toe.

“you hear that?” he asks, voice muffled, the effect of being too tongue tied from licking every part of your heat, but finger working its magic perfectly, creating loud wet noises from your fluid. “drenched. my pretty y/n is drenched,” says hyunjin, and as much as you want to comment on him for the pet name, you’re too caught up on how his lips vibrate against you the moment he starts palming himself with his unoccupied hand. if he keeps it up, you know you would come undone there and then, and you don’t want that—not yet. so you ask him to stop and he instantly does as told.

“what’s wrong? did i hurt you?” there’s fear written across his expression and heard from his tone, but you’d like to believe your eyes and lips are just playing tricks on you.

“n— no. i just,” you pause to avoid his gazes, but something within you pulls your attention back on him. “i wanna cum with you inside me,” you confess, voice barely audible due to embarrassment; all this time, it’s always been hyunjin to say such things, but perhaps, all the strange tension lately has finally gotten the best of you. you hear him mutter a low “fuck” while his pupils shakes for a brief moment before they somehow appear a shade darker. licking his lower lip, hyunjin pulls you by your legs and rests them on his shoulders, and proceeds to align his tip with your entrance, once again teasing your throbbing core.

the moment you whine is the moment hyunjin pushes himself inside ever so gently, but the stretching still has you throwing your head back, while hyunjin letting our airy moans upon your walls clenching around him. none of you can tell how it’s possible for your vagina to remain so tight after all the countless fucking session for the past half year, but hyunjin doesn’t find that troubling. in fact, he lives for that and it shows from the way his eyes roll to the back of his head as he begins thrusting in and out of you—slowly but steady, veiny hands secured on your hips, vision goes back and forth from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.

hyunjin leans down to kiss you for a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, he quickens his pace—leaning down once more so his length can go deeper in you, hitting your g-spot. at that very moment, you mentally praise yourself for placing the bedroom mirror right across the bed. it presents you with the magnificent view of hyunjin’s rounded, firm ass bouncing rhythmically whenever he snaps his hips, and placing your hands around them, squeezing them, nearly makes you drool over the sight. with hyunjin constant thrusts, the familiar knot in your abdomen starts to bubble up.

“oh my god,” the two of you whimper in unison as hyunjin begins to lose his tempo, moves also grow sloppy, but never once misses your spot.

“y/n, i— ah— i’m so close. fuck,” he breathes out, sweat forming on his forehead, wetting his baby hair down to his neck and chest, and you can only drool helplessly at the sight.

“me too. please cum inside me, cum with me, hyunjin, please, please,” you beg, voice a pitch higher, almost sounds like you strain your throat, and it stays the same. when you feel hyunjin twitch inside you, your hands automatically reach for the bed sheet again, but it only lasts for a second before they’re being taken by hyunjin’s own hands—he has never done this. while intertwining your fingers, his cock twitches again and his eyes roll to the back of his head, jaw falls open as he calls out your name—you naturally do the same, fingers pressing flat against his white knuckles

“hyu—”

“cum, baby,” he cuts you off, averting his hazy eyes on you, and that’s all it takes for you to break—your orgasm washes over you like waves and you cum undone around hyunjin, shaking and mewling altogether while feel the wet coldness around your inner thigh. hyunjin follows right after, shooting his hot cement inside of you; the man can no longer keep his eyes open as he buries his face on the crook of your neck, his choked moans bring music right to your ear all a while his hot breaths bring goosebumps to your unrecovered body.

after riding out your highs, none of you move. hyunjin stays on top of you, his chest rises and falls according to your hard breathing. somehow, it’s calming you down, but it shouldn’t.

“hyunjin, you’re heavy.”

“oh, sorry,” he chuckles and even without looking, you can tell his eyes are smiling too. with his remaining strength, hyunjin pushes himself up and rests on your thighs to pull his dick out of you, momentarily admiring the mixture of his juice and yours dripping down your cunt before fixing his eyes on you to study your face—also something he has never done before. 

“i’m sorry,” he mutters a few moments later, eyes now on you.

tilting your head, you sit up, resting your upper body with your hands on the bed. “all of a sudden? i came? you always make me feel good.”

“that’s what i’m sorry about. i— i didn’t mean to— i mean, i—”

you reach out to him, gently patting his thigh. “hyunjin, calm down. this isn’t like you,” you whisper the last sentence, knowing that perhaps, now’s the time to talk things out, to stop whatever is going on, and go back to how things are used to be, maybe? your heart’s just been restless for too long and apparently, hyunjin seems to be in a similar situation too.

“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to keep using you like this. i genuinely meant what i said. i only wanted to take you home, but we ended up here and—”

“isn’t that what fwb do?” you pull your hand off his thigh, and a frown painted across his face as if he’s questioning your question. “that’s what we agreed on. we have our fwb rules, remember?”

“one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking,” says hyunjin, proving he has memorized every words to the back of his mind.

nodding, you carefully bring back your hand to his thigh, repeating the same movement you did before. “exactly. so you don’t have to be sorry. don’t worry, i’m not feeling used at all.” you end it with a smile.

hyunjin mirrors you, he smiles too; his eyes fall to where your hand is. “but what if i’m breaking them? the rules,” asks the boy whose cold hand is now on top of your warm one. “what if i like you?” his eyes find their way back to you, and that’s when you know. the difference between your temperatures; the difference between your smile and his—the sadness that lies within.

that’s when you understand. everything finally makes sense; every one of hyunjin’s unusual acts. the constant texts and calls, the undressing, the pet names, the facial expression, the hand holding.

what happened to the rules? feelings. that’s what happened. to hyunjin, it’s his feelings over the rules.

but you, what about you? the butterflies, the irregular increasing heartbeats, the flushing cheeks, the overthinking, the disappointment at some point.

“y/n,” hyunjin calls out and you don’t get to get back to him because he’s already an inch away from you, momentarily eyeing your lips before he closes the distance. once again, his blonde hair falls down, brushing against his cheek before meeting yours and it tickles you, but not in the same way as how his kiss tickles your heart; giddy.

what happened to the rules? unwanted feelings. that’s what happened. to you, it’s the unwanted feelings against the rules. and for now, the unwanted feelings are too strong for you to push him away, so you pull him close instead. for now.

—

gen’s masterlist

repeating this!! special note: HUGE THANK YOU for my awesome bestie for the banner 🥺💞💞 ily, bish!! thank you for being my beta reader too 😽😽😽

[jeonsjiddies]

Headlights | pjm (m)

Summary- Jimin is a fuckboi, rumor has it his tongue can make you see stars. Everyone assumes he’s this way because he just wants to have fun. No one dares look deeper, no one sees the haunted look in his eyes, the emptiness and pain that reside in their deep brown depths. Until you.

🎶 Headlights by The Classic Crime - “Please don’t face the headlights of oncoming cars alone.” 🎶

Word Count- 14.7k 🥴

Pairing- Jimin x reader

Genre- smut

Warnings- oral (female recieving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slightly rough sex, nipple piercing? is that warning?, some depression-like symptoms/thoughts, a little self destructive behavior? Kind of.

a/n: Part of the Tatted Bangtan Series! This is the longest fic I have ever written and it is my baby. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you think!  💕 

Walking up to the frat house was intimidating, and you slowed your stride enough for Hana to reach back and yank you with her into the party. You could feel the bass of the music rattling your bones and couldn’t hear Hana as she shouted over the music to you. 

“I can’t believe you made me do this!” you hissed, twisting your body around just in time to narrowly miss a drunk football player bulldozing his way through the crowd. 

“What?” she shouted back. 

You simply rolled your eyes and shook your head, gripping her hand tightly and following her through the overcrowded living room to the barely quieter kitchen. You took the drink she handed you and nursed it slowly, since you liked a good buzz but still wanted a clear head. 

You felt his gaze before you saw him; you could feel the shivers along the back of your neck. 

You turned to seek out the cause, methodically searching the crowd. Your eyes met the most beautiful pair of brown ones you’d ever seen, the strobe lights from above causing them to almost glow brighter-  but that was the only light in his gaze. His eyes looked… sad. Empty. 

It seemed like everything else turned blurry, and you could only focus on him in perfect clarity, every feature defined and prominent; every move he made, your eyes followed. Everything else faded away, and you only saw him. Him and his beautiful eyes, full of longing and something you couldn’t quite place.

You couldn’t help but furrow your brow in concern. Your face showed your every emotion like an open book, and you opened your mouth to ask Hana who was staring at you before she squealed, gripping your arm.

“Park Jimin is totally checking you out!” she giggled, tugging on your sleeve excitedly.

“Park Jimin?” you questioned rhetorically.

“He’s famous on campus. He’s hot, rich, and a total freak in the sheets. Rumor has it his tongue can make you see stars. Every girl on campus is dying for a night with him.” she chattered.

“Oh geez.” You rolled your eyes.

“Seriously. The saying is: once you Jimin, you can’t Jim-out. He’s so good in bed, he’s had to get like three restraining orders against girls who can’t let go. They say once you sleep with him no one else will do.” she continued, waving her hands in the air dramatically.

“I’ll take your word for it.” you giggled, glancing over towards Jimin once again.

He was absolutely gorgeous, with perfectly styled light brown hair, soft, plump looking lips, a jawline that could cut someone. His white t-shirt showed off tattoos that danced down his arms, covering the delicate ivory skin beneath. His thighs alone deserved their own wing in an art gallery, beautifully encased in skin tight ripped jeans. You caught yourself staring, clearing your throat and averting your gaze, but something kept drawing you back to him.

He was surrounded by girls, all leaning forward to give him the best view of their cleavage, all doing their best to seduce him, but he looked bored. Lonely. Lost. He sighed and his eyes trailed back to you. He watched you for a moment, noting how you flushed and turned away looking flustered. A smirk played on his lips and he shoved himself off the wall, making his way over to you.

“Shit! He’s coming over here!” Hana whisper-shouted.

You braced yourself, waiting for him to call you out for staring, or yell at you. Your body seemed to be vibrating with nerves because you could feel him getting closer, like your body had a radar that searched him out. Warm breath ghosted over the back of your neck, right under your ear. You shivered.

“Hello, there princess.” he purred.

You spun around, startled, and came face-to-face with Jimin.

He was even more gorgeous up close. He smelled of alcohol and something minty. You couldn’t help basking in the lovely scent that filled your senses for a moment, before leveling your gaze to his. His body wasn’t even two inches from yours. If you leaned up on your toes, you’d be kissing him. You took a step behind you, your back hitting the island in the kitchen.

“Hello,” you greeted in return, willing the heat in your cheeks to look like it was from the humidity in the room and not Jimin’s proximity to you.

“I haven’t seen you around before, are you a Freshman?” he inquired, sending his charming smile your way and making your knees want to buckle.

“No, I just normally don’t come to parties,” you explained, tilting your head towards Hana. “Hana made me.”

“Why not?” he wondered aloud.

“Just… not my scene.” you shrugged. 

Jimin watched your face, amusement apparent on his features. He seemed to be contemplating something. Apparently coming to his decision, his smile came back to grace his gorgeous face, but it didn’t reach his eyes, a detail you couldn’t miss even if you’d wanted to.

“Sounds like you need to have a little fun,” he smirked, stepping closer to you, his fingertips trailing along your hips and his lips grazing the shell of your ear as he whispered his next sentence, “I could help you with that. My room is upstairs.”

“I… I, uh… no… no thank you,” you sputtered, placing your hand on his (deliciously firm) chest and gently urging him backwards to put space between your erratically beating heart and his warm, enticing body.

“What?” Jimin asked, genuinely confused.

“I’m not that kind of girl.” you said softly, trying to cushion the blow to his ego.

“You really don’t want to fuck me?” he asked, bewildered.

“Um… no thank you.” You coughed awkwardly.

Jimin stared at you for a moment, reading you. His eyes searched yours, looking for something. You didn’t know what, or if he found it, but when he looked away, he shrugged.

“Your loss.” he turned to the sound of someone calling his name and left you standing there, heart pounding out of your chest and legs weak.

You watched him walk away, plastering on that signature flirty smile that fooled everyone around him. You watched his animated dancing, life of the party, putting on a show. You watched his eyes search the crowd, like his soul was longing to find something, but you didn’t know what.

                                                      -♡-

A few weeks had gone by since your encounter with Jimin, and somehow he was everywhere. You saw him on your way to class, laughing with his friends by the fountain. You saw him at the coffee shop, exiting the building as you were about to enter. You saw him in the crowded hallways of your university, heard his infectious laugh bubbling from his chest and dancing through the air. 

Even when Jimin wasn’t in your direct line of vision, even when you couldn’t hear the way his melodic voice carried through the air, he was everywhere. Every night since meeting him, you dreamt of sad, empty brown eyes attached to the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen. Every other thought that flitted through your mind was about him. What was Jimin up to? Does he look happier today? Was it just that night? Where was he now?

Sitting in the lecture hall next to Hana, you couldn’t pay attention to what the professor was attempting to teach you, a heavy sigh falling from your lips as you doodled a familiar pair of plusher ones. Hana nudged your shoulder.

“What’s up with you lately? You’re like, lost in space or something.” she accused.

“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind,” you sighed, playing with the edges of your notebook distractedly.

“Wanna talk about it?” she wondered.

“How much do you know about Park Jimin?” you asked almost instantly, causing Hana to jump a bit.

“Oh honey…” she sighed, shaking her head, “Don’t go there. Park Jimin is a good fuck if you’re looking to let loose, but I wouldn’t get too invested. Fucking is about all he’s good at. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” 

“Do you really think he’s not good for anything but that? I mean, he’s human.” you defended.

“That’s not what I meant, I just know how you are. Don't go crushing on him, he’ll break your heart Y/N. Park Jimin doesn’t do emotions. He does meaningless sex.” she explained.

“I guess…” you trailed off, avoiding her gaze.

“Seriously. Don’t go looking for trouble.” she warned.

“I won’t.” you promised.

“Good. Now, there’s a party this weekend. Are you coming?” she grinned.

A classmate in front of you coughed obnoxiously sending you a glare. You shot them an apologetic smile but lowered your voice. Hana didn’t lower her volume at all though.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” you shrugged.

“Come onnnn. Live a little!” she encouraged.

“If you two ladies have something to share with the class, I’d be more than happy to give you the podium. Otherwise, I’d appreciate it if you’d wait until after class to discuss whatever is so important,” the professor hummed, shooting a glare in your direction.

Immediately silencing yourself, you looked down at your notebook, where the drawing of Jimin’s plush lips stared at you. You stared back, recalling the last time you’d seen him, and how your heart had pounded in your chest violently enough that you thought it was going to come out. 

You decided you needed to see him again, which is how you found yourself completely out of place once again at another frat party. Drunk and stoned college kids stumbled around, grinded on each other, made out in corners, and caused all kinds of trouble all around you as you tried to be inconspicuous in your search for Jimin.

“Do you want a drink?”  you asked Hana and she nodded, so you ventured into the kitchen to retrieve something for the two of you. 

Once you returned, you couldn’t find her anywhere. She had a tendency of wandering off with the first hot guy she set her sights on, but you decided to look for her anyway. You wove between bodies, checking around corners and searching all the obvious places. When you came up empty handed you ventured out the back door, only to notice none other than Park Jimin sitting on the porch swing alone, smoking.

Previous task abandoned, you walked up to him and sat beside him; his eyes lazily trailed up and down your figure as he assessed you, his plump lips turning up into a smirk.

“Didn’t think I’d see you again. Change your mind about my offer?” he smiled seductively.

“No.” you shrugged, offering him the extra cup in your hand, which he took while watching you carefully.

“Seriously? Am I not your type or something? You think I’m ugly?” he wondered, feigning distress.

“That’s not it at all!” you gasped out with a little too much conviction.

“So you find me attractive?” he verified, scooting closer.

“Well, yes,” you admitted, cheeks blazing while you avoided his intense gaze.

“So you do want to fuck me.” He grinned.

“No,” you shook your head.

“Why?” he questioned, letting his fingertips dance along the edge of your shorts.

“Like I said. I’m not that kind of girl. I think sex should be meaningful,” you shrugged, though your body betrayed you with the goosebumps rising at his touch.

“Ah, so you’re one of those hopeless romantics,” he laughed.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you giggled. “I’m not waiting for a knight in shining armour. I just want it to mean something.”

Jimin focused his gaze on your face, watching you carefully as you fiddled with a stray thread on your blouse. He knew your body reacted to him, he could see the way you shivered, feel the goosebumps on your skin. He didn’t understand why you weren’t jumping at the opportunity to fall into bed with him like everyone else. You were an enigma to him. 

You finally met his gaze, curiosity getting the better of you. You had to know if his eyes still held the same look as before, or if it was a one-time thing. You could still see the loneliness, masked by his overconfident demeanor. 

“What’s your major?” you asked, changing the subject out of the blue.

“What? Oh, um… dance, actually.” he said, averting his gaze.

“How long have you been dancing?” you wondered.

“Since I was little. Why are you asking this?” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

“Just wondering. I don’t know anything about you,” you easily replied.

“What’s yours?” he countered.

“Creative writing.” 

“That’s cool.” he sent you a tentative smile.

“Thanks. So is dancing. I can’t dance to save my life,” you giggled.

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he argued, a smile playing on his lips.

“Oh, you haven’t seen bad,” you laughed.

After taking a moment to wonder why you were even outside talking to him and what you could possibly want from him, he pushed his suspicion aside..Jimin rolled his eyes with a smile and stood up, extending his hand out to you. You sent him a questioning look and he just shook his hand until you grabbed it, and he pulled you to your feet. He reached down into his pocket and pulled out his phone, playing a song you hadn’t heard before, but enjoyed nonetheless. It was slow and simple, but still pretty upbeat.

“We’ll try something simple so I can see where you’re at, ok?” Jimin grinned at you, spacing his feet apart and watching your face.

“You’re going to make me dance?” you gasped.

“I’m going to teach you some easy moves. Everyone should know at least one dance move,” he laughed.

“If you watch me fall on my face I can never look you in the eye again,” you grumbled.

“Oh hush. Okay, start with your feet shoulder width apart for balance.” he instructed.

You mimicked his stature, placing your feet shoulder width apart and following his movements that he did slowly so you could catch on. You could tell he was graceful and knew how to move his body, even when he was slowing down and exaggerating his movements so you could keep up. Jimin’s movements were fluid and calculated, each new step had precision but flowed into the next seamlessly. He was made to dance, you decided. And somehow, you didn’t fall under his instruction. He was patient and understanding when you’d mess up, showing you again and praising you when you got it right.

 He seemed to be having fun, his laughter filled you with giddiness and his smile seemed genuine, his eyes scrunched up into little crescent moons and his beautiful pearly teeth on display, his hands wrapped around his stomach as he leaned over in another fit of laughter. You giggled along with him, albeit at your own expense, but you loved seeing this side of Jimin, he seemed… happy, carefree. This was the way Jimin was meant to be.

When you messed up again, Jimin laughed, coming over to you and grabbing your hands, showing you how to move your body to the music by leading you with his own. Your back was pressed against his firm chest as he guided you, his hips flush against yours, causing a blush to creep up your neck. Jimin must have noticed the position he’d put you in, but it didn’t stop him. He only pressed closer, whispering in your ear.

“You’re doing so good for me, babygirl,” he purred, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. 

You shivered, attempting to turn and pull out of his hold to scold him, but you were interrupted by a loud male voice coming from inside the house.

“Yo Park where the hell have you been? We need help in beer pong! Oh-” a tall man you recognized as Hoseok froze at the sight.

Jimin cleared his throat and stepped away from you. Hana peered around Hoseok from behind him, curious to what was going on. Her eyes widened when she saw you, and she gave you a look of disappointment, knowing you hadn’t listened to her warning. You looked away, avoiding her gaze as Jimin breezed past you to follow Hoseok inside. Hana watched you for a moment before following them inside, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

                                                         -♡-

It had been a few days since your dancing lesson with Jimin, and seeing him in such a comfortable, happy state hadn’t really done much to take him off your mind, especially not after seeing his eyes glaze over and the mask slip right back on as soon as Hoseok called his name. How he’d breezed past you like you didn’t exist after what felt like a special moment shared between the two of you.

Maybe Hana was right… maybe all he wanted was sex. Your anxiety was telling you he was playing with your emotions, but you knew better. You saw something in Jimin, something no one else seemed to notice. The small amount of time you’d spent with him when he had let his guard down had given you the opportunity to see what potential he had. 

 Jimin didn’t have to be tough and closed off. He could be fun and open and sweet. He could be thoughtful and patient and encouraging. He could be silly and smart and dedicated. He was talented and hard working. You’d spent maybe an hour alone with Jimin at the party that night, and in that small frame of time, you’d seen a glimpse of the real him shine through that facade he put on for everyone else. 

You wanted to see it again.

You took’d taken a trip into the city to do some sight seeing and clear your restless mind, having been driven crazy going in circles. It had taken longer than you’d anticipated, so you’d opted to take a taxi home with the sun having gone down a while ago and the stars making their appearance. You watched the cityscape fly by, lost in your own little world. The closer you got to campus, the more you paid attention, knowing the bridge that overlooked the beautiful skyline would be coming soon. 

You watched the water below ripple gently, small waves dancing across the surface of the river underneath the bridge. It was beautiful, reflections of the city lights shining and shimmering in the water. You glanced up at the other end of the bridge and saw a figure standing there, alone. It kind of looked like…

“Sir, stop the car. Pull over please!” you begged the driver.

He shot you a curious look but pulled to the side of the road. You handed him your fare and dashed away from the car towards the figure. Once you realized he wasn’t going to jump or do anything stupid, you slowed your stride, watching him as you quietly made your way over to him. Jimin was lost in thought and didn’t notice you approaching him. He watched the waves longingly, as if he wished he were floating away in them, part of the nothingness. Like he wanted to disappear into the water and drift away into the sea.

The look in his eyes as he gazed out into the unknown was haunted, and it tore at your heart to see him look so empty. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and if that’s true, Jimin’s soul seemed broken. You wanted to know why. He had it all. He had money, good looks, friends, girls, what could possibly be missing? Why did he look so dejected?

You gently placed your hand on his shoulder and he jumped slightly upon realizing he wasn’t alone, turning to face you. His gaze met yours in silence, he watched your face for a moment, then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Y/N?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing. I was riding by and saw you, I wanted to make sure you were okay. What are you doing up here all alone?” you wondered.

Jimin turned to face you fully now, looking down at you with a hard expression.

“Why do you care?” he asked, bunching his fists at his side. “What do you want from me Y/N? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I don’t want anything from you, Jimin. I just want to make sure you’re okay. I want to be your friend,” you explained softly, reaching out to touch his arm, which he yanked away.

“You want to be my friend?” he laughed bitterly. “Why? So I can buy you stuff? You want my money? Here,” he took out his wallet, holding out several bills for you to take.

You were shocked, stepping back a little, but looking up to meet Jimin’s gaze. He looked resigned, angry. You looked at his outstretched hand, holding the money out to you and sighed. You reached for his hand, and he thought you’d take the bills, but you only eased his hand back down to his side.

“I don’t want your money,” you told him, trying to keep your voice from sounding as offended as you felt. “I just like spending time with you.”

“Why? What is your angle here? Just take what you want and go, like everyone else does. Everyone uses each other, I don’t know what you’re trying to get out of me, but just take it and go. Stop acting like you care about me,” he hissed.

You watched him for a moment, chest heaving as he took deep breaths, looking angry and closed off and… scared. He looked scared. He said everyone uses each other, did he really not have anyone in his life who genuinely just wanted him to be happy? 

“I do care about you, Jimin. I don’t want anything from you but friendship,” you said softly.

“Right,” he laughed, “like I believe that. No one just wants to be friends. They want something. Sex. Money. Status. Then they leave, everyone leaves eventually so why bother getting attached and pretending to care?”

“That sounds really lonely, Jimin,” you trailed off quietly.

Jimin’s expression was one of shock. He was expecting some sort of reaction out of you, anger, defiance, maybe admitting you were just after his money. He expected you to try to trick him, to yell at him, to tell him he was an asshole and you never wanted to see him again. Jimin was not expecting you to see straight through him, to see how lonely he was, how much he craved connection.

You terrified Jimin. He’d been drawn to you from when he first laid eyes on you, admittedly it was a sexual attraction at first. When you’d refused him, though, he was intrigued. He’d watched you around campus, how you never sought out to be the center of attention, how you didn’t go looking for drama or clout. Then you showed up on that porch swing at the party, looking into his eyes like you really saw him.

Jimin hadn’t felt so at ease so quickly with anyone in his life like he did with you. He felt like he could be himself, like he could let his guard down. He had fun, really enjoyed himself for the first time in what felt like forever with you. He wasn’t putting on a show. He wasn’t giving the people what he thought they wanted to see from him. He was just spending time with a beautiful girl who made him feel like he was enough.

And that was terrifying.

Jimin couldn’t afford to get attached again. He’d had his heart ripped out and stomped on so many times he’d honestly thought he didn’t have one anymore. Until he watched the way your eyes lit up when you giggled at one of his silly dance moves. Until he felt the giddiness rising in his chest when you smiled especially for him. Jimin almost couldn’t remember what it felt like to feel so carefree, and he missed it so much. He longed to be free and let go.

You made him feel like he could, and that scared Jimin shitless. He’d spent so long building up this wall to protect himself, so long wearing this mask of indifference to shield his weary and battered heart from another letdown. Another person pretending to care. Another “friend” using him to get something. Another betrayal. But you… you felt so genuine. You were light and happy and kind and you made him feel like he could breathe again. He barely knew you, and already you’d wormed your way into his heart enough to make him feel like things could be different. It scared Jimin just how badly he craved that, the connection, to feel something again.

“I… I guess,” he finally admitted, his shoulders slumping from the confession. 

He looked like he was deflating, the tension falling off his body once he finally let it out that yes, he was so lonely. He watched your reaction, embarrassed that you’d seen this side of him. He didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of anyone, didn’t want to give them the chance to use him again. But you just smiled sympathetically.  You didn’t push or pry.

Instead, you pivoted. “Are you hungry? I kind of want some ramen. Come with me to the store?” you offered.

Jimin eyed you warily, but nodded, falling in step beside you as you walked along the bridge, the only sounds you could hear were the soft rippling of the waves below and the sounds of the cars rushing past. Jimin was quiet beside you, looking like he was lost in thought. He wasn’t paying attention to where he was stepping, and tripped over a loose brick on the sidewalk.

You saw the headlights of the oncoming car nearing closer as Jimin tumbled into the road, your heart beating out of your chest in bone-chilling fear. You jumped into the street and grabbed Jimin’s hand. You jumped back and yanked him onto the sidewalk mere fractions of a second before the car zoomed past where your bodies had just been, horn blaring obnoxiously. Jimin’s body crashed into yours, sending you off balance and splaying against the sidewalk.

You groaned at his weight being flung on top of you when you crashed into the hard cement sidewalk. Jimin propped himself up on his arms, body still flush against yours as he searched your face, eyes wide.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve been killed!” he scolded, eyes roaming over your face and arms for any injuries. 

“So could you! I couldn’t just sit back and watch you get run over!” you defended. 

“So you risked your life for someone you barely know?!” he hissed, with no real bite to his words. 

Worry and guilt were swimming in his gaze as it met yours. You softened, reaching up to caress his hair gently in an attempt to soothe him and get him to focus on you and your next words.

“Hey, we’re both fine. Everything’s okay,” you smiled.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” he said more to himself than you, “What even are you?”

“Still hungry,” you giggled playfully, trying to ease the tension surrounding the two of you.

Jimin rolled his eyes but finally, a smile graced his pretty lips. You both seemed to notice your positions at the same time, your cheeks lighting up and the tips of his ears turning red. He scrambled off of you, holding out a hand to pull you to your feet. You both avoided eye contact and he let out an awkward cough, scratching the back of his neck.

“Let’s go get ramen then,” he smiled shyly, motioning for you to go ahead of him.

You walked together in silence, Jimin being much more careful about where he was stepping while you made your way to the convenience store at the edge of the university. Entering and nodding to the cashier on duty, you both made your way over to the ramen. You reached out to grab a bowl, and a gasp left Jimin’s lips.

“You’re bleeding!” he grabbed your arm, examining the scrape on your elbow.

“Oh, whoops,” you shrugged. 

Jimin went to the cashier and requested the first aid kit, then guided you to a seat and gently took your arm, cleaning the cut with an antiseptic wipe. You hissed at the burn, and he apologized, leaning down to blow air on the wound. You watched in awe at the way his lips looked, plump and soft and delicious. You shivered as the cool air hit your skin, soothing the burn from the antiseptic wipe. Jimin smiled up at you.

“Better?” he asked.

Not trusting your voice, you simply nodded. He took the bandage and placed it over your wound, smoothing it out with a gentle brush of his fingers. 

“There. All better. Let's eat!” he chirped, pushing off his knees to stand.

You both picked out some ramen and drinks, using the water dispenser to add hot water to the dry noodles. Jimin reached for his wallet to pay for you both reflexively. You didn’t put yours on the counter and he looked at you in confusion.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Uhhh… waiting my turn?”

“What do you mean? It’s our turn.”

“It’s your turn. I’ll pay for mine when you’re done,” you shrugged.

Jimin looked shocked and confused, and the cashier looked impatient. You nodded towards the counter and Jimin paid, watching you curiously as you completed your transaction with a smile on your face and thanked the cashier. Jimin held the door for you and you both walked to a nearby park, sitting on the bench to eat. 

You ate and talked and joked and laughed. You both just enjoyed being in each other’s presence, able to let loose and not feel judged. You watched Jimin’s eyes begin to shine for the first time since you’d met him, and your heart swelled with joy. You’d finished eating long ago but neither of you wanted to leave, so you stood up.

“I’ve been practicing, you know.” You wiggled your eyebrows.

“Practicing?” he echoed.

“Dancing. I’ve been practicing what you showed me. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve gotten pretty decent,” you grinned playfully.

“Show me what you’ve got,” Jimin smirked, leaning back into the bench with his hands folded behind his head, his shirt riding up and displaying his mouth-watering abs, along with the small trail of hair that dipped down underneath his waistband.

You stood with your feet shoulder width apart, just like Jimin had taught you, and started shaking your hips like you’d seen him do that night at the party, giving your best impression of his dance routine for the first minute or two. Then, you grinned at him as he opened his mouth to praise you, before you started doing the chicken dance.

Jimin’s laughter rang through the air and he started dancing with you, both of you making fools of yourselves, your only audience each other and the moon that shone brightly in the sky, illuminating Jimin’s face, highlighting his ethereal beauty. The two of you danced and laughed for a while, before falling onto the bench in a fit of giggles. 

Finally deciding it was time to go, Jimin insisted on walking you home, saying it wasn’t safe for you to be alone that late at night. You agreed, not because you weren’t capable of keeping yourself safe, but simply to stay with him for a little longer. You tossed your food containers in the trash as you left the park. His hand brushed against yours a few times as you walked, talking animatedly about anything and everything, and you figured it was just an accident soyou didn’t think too much of it.

Disappointment washed over you as you walked up to your dorm building and you sighed, scuffing the ground with your foot in an attempt to stall. Jimin made no move to leave either, both of you waiting in silence for the other to say something. Suddenly, you felt warmth surround your frame as Jimin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace.

“Thank you for tonight. This is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time,” he whispered into your ear, almost like a secret he didn’t want anyone else to hear, though you were alone.

“Me too, Jimin. Thank you for coming with me, and walking me home,” you smiled, returning his hug and placing your head on his shoulder.

You weren’t sure how long hugs between stranger-friends were supposed to last, but you weren’t going to pull away first, not when you felt so warm, so safe, so comfortable. Your heart was racing but your whole body went pliant at his touch, any tension you’d been holding melting away as you melted into him.

Jimin pulled away first, leaving a chaste kiss to your cheek before turning around and walking off, shouting “goodnight Y/N!” over his shoulder as he left. You missed the way the tips of his ears turned pink, and he missed how your whole face turned red. You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face as you crawled into bed that night, your dreams filled with bright brown eyes shining in the moonlight, and a little bit of hope.

                                                        -♡-

After the night on the bridge, you and Jimin began hanging out. He’d wait for you outside the lecture hall and walk you home some days. Others, you’d show up with his favorite coffee and snack in hand before his (regrettably chosen) 8am class. Jimin was different around you, lighter. 

Because he was Jimin, people noticed. Eyes trailed after the two of you everywhere you went, whether you were together or not. Rumors spread, saying that you were using him to gain recognition, saying that he’d knocked you up and been forced to date you, saying that you’d blackmailed him or something. Neither of you paid attention to the prying eyes that seemed to dissect your every move, you were too caught up in each other.

You made Jimin feel like a better person, and Jimin made you feel safe and giddy. But there was no denying the massive crush you’d formed on the poor guy. You did your best to hide it, trying not to make him uncomfortable. You’d told him all you wanted was friendship, you weren’t about to make a liar out of yourself and get rejected, losing your new friend over something so silly as your unyielding yearning for him.

You really tried not to let your eyes linger on him for too long when he walked unaware beside you, humming the newest song he was practicing for dance class. You tried not to let your touches last longer than socially acceptable for friends, despite the way your entire body seemed to light up with electricity every time his skin met yours. You tried not to stare longingly at his lips as he told you a story about his childhood or a class he’d taken the day before.

You tried not to fall in love with him.

You tried not to fall in love with the way his eyes formed crescent moons when he smiled, his real smile. The one he used in your presence, not the one he plastered on for the rest of the world to see. You tried not to fall in love with the sound of his voice calling your name, or the way he’d mindlessly sing quietly to himself while doing mundane tasks. You tried not to fall in love with the way he’d already be looking at you when you glanced up to check on him, with the way he’d shoot you a goofy face.

You tried not to fall in love with the way he held you close, the way every hug was just a little too long, the way he’d hold open doors for you or fix your collar, or the way he seemed to be able to make you forget about the rest of the world. You tried not to fall in love with how strong he was, both physically and emotionally, how he’d let you in and trusted you. 

But Jimin was a force of nature, somehow terrifying and comforting at the same time. He showed your heart no mercy, consistently proving himself to you over and over and making you fall harder and harder. How were you not supposed to fall head over heels for Jimin? A few weeks into your friendship and you were ready to throw caution to the wind and marry the man. Or maybe you were a little dramatic, but still. You felt so deeply for him you almost couldn’t stomach it.

Jimin seemed to bounce as he walked in front of you, using his ridiculous amount of coordination to walk backwards so he could face you as he spoke. You giggled at his behavior, keeping an eye out to make sure he didn’t run into anything or anyone. He wove around the crowd gracefully, looking back every so often, but you still watched out for him. Just in case. 

“So then the professor woke the kid up by slamming a book on his desk, I kinda felt bad for him, to be honest. But it was really funny. The kid wasn’t too bothered by it, he laughed with everyone else, and apologized for falling asleep. I don’t blame him though. I nearly lost it when he went into the section on Pavlov,” Jimin recounted, rolling his eyes.

“Poor guy!” you laughed.

“I know, so embarrassing.” he cringed.

“Yo, Jimin!” came from somewhere in the crowd, and Jimin’s easygoing expression immediately morphed into a hardened one. 

You turned to see Hoseok and Hana jogging to catch up with the two of you. Ever since they’d started dating, you’d seen Hana less and less. You didn’t mind much, as your time was mostly filled with Jimin. Hana’s hair had gotten longer and she’d dyed it a light shade of pink. It suited her.

“Hey Hana, I like your new hair,” you smiled.

“Thanks, girl! I haven’t seen you in forever!” she grabbed you, pulling you into a tight hug which you returned, shooting an uncomfortable look towards Jimin.

His attention was on Hoseok though. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and you didn’t like it when Jimin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. It looked unnatural, wrong. Happiness belonged on Jimin. Hoseok was sweet, he was funny and lively and courteous, you had nothing against him. But you wished he would leave so Jimin would go back to normal. Unguarded. 

“Jimin, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a couple days man. I really need your help. Are you busy? The girls can grab coffee or something and we can swing by the shop?” Hoseok begged. 

“Ooh that sounds so fun! We haven’t hung out in forever! Please, Y/N?” Hana begged, pulling on your shirt sleeve.

You shot a look over to Jimin, gauging his feelings on the situation, but you couldn’t read him. His face was stoic and you couldn’t see his eyes. He shrugged, following Hoseok across the street.  Hana pulled on your arm, directing you to a nearby coffee shop and grabbing a table in the corner by the window. 

“You still like the hot chocolate here the best?” Hana asked, standing up to order. 

You moved to follow but she waved you off, placing your order for you and handing it over once it was ready.

“Thank you.” you smiled, “How much was it? I’ll venmo you.” 

“Don’t worry it was only like two bucks,” Hana shrugged. “Hobi’s been paying for everything lately, hasn’t asked me to chip in a dime! So I’ve saved up a bit.” 

“Oh wow,” you laughed.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Do you remember when we used to come here like every day to do our homework and people watch?” Hana giggled.

“Yeah, it seems so long ago.” you agreed, grinning at the memory.

“Ugh, I still had that poofy curly hairdo and you wore those high school musical shirts all the time? When was that, like 8th grade?” she cringed.

“Freshman year of high school, I think. We met in high school.” you laughed. “Why did your mom let you leave the house like that?” 

“Girl I don’t know!” she groaned, “why did yours?” 

“I guess she wanted me to express myself,” you shrugged with a giggle.

“Express yourself right out of any chance to be popular,” Hana remarked sarcastically, throwing in a playful smirk.

“Hey, I don’t need to be popular. I just need a few good people around me,” you shrugged. 

“Hmmm… So, how’s Jimin?” she asked, glancing away and not meeting your eyes.

“He’s good. We were just on our way back to my dorm to watch a movie when we ran into you guys,” you explained.

“A little netflix and chill?” she laughed, but her eyes zeroed in on you.

“No,” you shook your head, “just a movie.”

Hana sighed, placing her coffee on the table and looked you in the eyes.

“YN, I’m worried about you. Someone like you shouldn’t be hanging out with someone like Jimin. When I invited you to that party, I just wanted you to get out more, not start messing around with someone like him.” Hana explained, attempting to keep her voice soft.

“What do you mean ‘someone like him’?” you asked harshly.

“You’ve heard what people are saying right? They’re spreading rumors about you because you’re hanging out with him. He’s bad news, YN. He only sleeps with girls to get what he wants. I know you’re a hopeless romantic but I can guarantee he doesn’t love you, no matter what he’s telling you.” she sighed.

“You can’t be serious.” you laughed incredulously. 

“YN, I’m just looking out for you. Jimin is-” she began but you stood and cut her off.

“Jimin is kind. Jimin is funny, smart, sweet and loyal. Jimin doesn’t talk shit about people behind their backs. Jimin doesn’t pretend to care just so he can cause trouble. Jimin doesn’t judge people based on rumors. You don’t know anything about him, Hana. You never cared enough to. No one has! You all think he’s some souless succubus who only uses sex to get what he wants, but you’re wrong. You don’t know him at all. Jimin is wonderful and I will hang out with him as much as I damn well want to because you know what? He makes me happy. So you and anyone else who has a problem with that can fuck off,” you seethed, slamming five dollars down on the table to pay her for your drink, not wanting to owe her anything, “Keep the change.”

You stomped away from the table, finally looking up from Hana’s speechless, shocked expression to find Jimin and Hoseok staring at you in mirroring astonishment. You froze for a split second, but in your rage, trudged forward, grabbing Jimin’s hand and pulling him towards the exit.

“Let’s go.” you grumbled, and he allowed you to pull him out of the exit and begin walking down the street, leaving Hoseok and Hana in stunned silence.

You didn’t let go of Jimin’s hand and he didn’t make a move to pull away as you walked silently to your dorm, your anger slowly going from a boiling rage to a simmer. You opened and shut the door with a little more force than necessary and flung the dvd cabinet open with a little too much emphasis. Jimin watched you curiously, letting you have your space and set up the movie before you crawled into your bed next to where he was waiting. 

You laid your head on his shoulder, needing the extra comfort of having him close after your emotional meltdown at the coffee shop. You sighed, letting the tension roll out of your body that you’d stored up from the encounter. Jimin wrapped an arm around you, giving you a gentle squeeze.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked quietly, eyes still on the opening credits of the movie.

“No,” you pouted.

“Are you sure?” he pressed, gaze shifting to you.

You sighed and sat up, turning to face him and pausing the movie.

“How much did you hear?”

“Hoseok and I walked in right about where you asked Hana what she meant by someone like me,” he explained.

“Oh,” you flushed, looking away from him. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

Jimin sighed, turning your shoulders so you’d face him and you gazed up into his eyes as he focused on you.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know what people think about me. I don’t care about their opinion. I care about yours, and maybe Hoseok’s. Sometimes,” he explained with a chuckle.

“I guess…” you trailed off.

“Thank you,” he spoke suddenly, softly.

“For what?” you wondered.

“For sticking up for me. For believing in me. For having my back,” he told you, his eyes swimming in an emotion you couldn’t place.

“Of course. I meant everything I said. You’re an amazing person and if people would just take a second look and get to know you, look past the wall you put up, they’d think so too.”

Jimin pulled you into his arms, encompassing you in his warmth and comfort, seeming to hold you together when you felt like you were shaking into pieces from the intensity of how strongly you felt for him. You relaxed in his hold, allowing the warmth of his body against yours to soothe your nerves.

“You’re my best friend,” he whispered into your ear, barely audible.

“You’re my best friend too,” you whispered back, hugging him just a little tighter.

Jimin smiled against your neck where he’d rested his head, and you hoped he couldn’t feel how loudly your heart was beating from feeling his lips against your skin, though he probably didn’t mean to do that. You pulled apart and snuggled into the covers to watch the movie, finally completing the task you’d set out to do since mid-afternoon.

Once the credits rolled, you were tucked into Jimin’s arms, drifting in and out of consciousness. Jimin glanced at the clock and sighed.

“I don’t want to leave but it’s getting late,” he looked down at your face.

“Nooo.. don’t go. You’re so comfy,” you whined.

“Are you calling me fat?” he huffed playfully.

“Oh hush,” you giggled, but looked up at him, biting your lip nervously.

“Can you just… stay? Just for tonight? If you want to, that is…” you looked down at your hands.

“You’re not worried someone will see me leave in the morning and start more rumors?” he wondered.

“I don’t care if you don’t,” you shrugged, meeting his eyes once more.

“Scooch over then,” he grinned and you giggled triumphantly, scooting over to one side of the bed so Jimin could slot himself between you and the wall.

He wrapped an arm around your middle, pulling you against his chest and sighed contentedly. You snuggled just a little closer, mumbling something about the chilly air in the dorm, but really you just loved being close to Jimin. Butterflies swirled in your stomach, and you listened to Jimin’s breathing begin to even out as he fell asleep. You followed not long after. Wrapped in the safety and comfort of Jimin, you swore it was the best night's sleep you’d ever had.

                                                        -♡-

The second Jimin had exited your dorm that morning, there were about 50 pictures of the incident flooding social media, rumors flying rampant about your night spent together. Every other comment was about how you’d turned into a whore or Jimin was just playing with you or you had to have something on him. You ignored them all. People could think whatever they wanted, but you knew you hadn’t done anything wrong.

On the contrary, waking up beside Jimin had felt so, so right. You’d somehow shifted in the night, both of you seeking out each other’s warmth and you’d woken up face-to-face, your noses almost touching. You’d opened your eyes to find Jimin opening his and you both smiled at each other, giggling nervously as you broke apart. 

Jimin had gone home to freshen up, seeing as your impromptu sleepover left him without a change of clothes or a toothbrush. You hadn’t heard anything from him since he left, and you were starting to wonder if he regretted staying, if he felt uncomfortable now. Your nerves were eating you up and after your fight with Hana, you didn’t really know who you could talk to about it. You sighed, flipping through a textbook while being unable to concentrate on anything you were reading.

A few hours went by and you were starting to lose your mind from the lack of communication and the anxiety it caused. You picked up your phone to distract yourself with something when a text from Jimin came through. You sighed in relief, opening the message.

Jimin [5:54pm]: The guys at the frat house say I’ve been boring lately and I’m not allowed to skip tonight’s party. Come with me?

Did he mean come with him as in… be his date? Surely not. Right? Your heart hammered in your chest. Sure, people had seen you and Jimin around together a lot, but it was another thing entirely to go to a party together. That was basically announcing that you were dating. Maybe he didn’t see it that way? Maybe he just wanted to bring his friend to the party?

You [5:59pm]: Sure. Meet you there?

Jimin [6:04pm]: Starts at 10. :)

You texted a little back and forth in the next few hours, then you got ready for the party andmade your way over to the frat house, wondering what kind of fresh hell this party would bring. Though, you couldn’t say all parties were bad. You had met Jimin at one of these. That had turned out to be the greatest thing you’d ever done.

You were filled with a sense of nostalgia walking up to the familiar front door and entering into the foyer, greeted with booming music and some cheering from the corner where someone was doing a keg upside down. You were startled by an arm wrapping around your shoulder, pulling you into a warm body.

“Y/N! Nice to see you again,” Hoseok grinned, leading you towards the kitchen.

“Hey Hoseok,” you smiled, a little confused.

“Jimin and I were about to play beer pong with Tae, we need a 4th player,” he grinned.

“Oh okay,” you smiled, walking with a little more confidence.

“Y/N!” Jimin grinned, walking over and wrapping you in a hug, “I’m glad you came. You’re on my team, ok?”

“Sounds good,” you grinned.

“Y/N, this is Taehyung, you’ve already met Hoseok. Tae, this is Y/N,” Jimin introduced.

“Nice to meet you,” Taehyung grinned a boxy smile, enthusiastically waving to you from his end of the island. “Sorry we’re about to kick your ass,” he added with an evil chuckle.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” you giggled.

“Have you played before?” Jimin wondered.

“A few times, not at a big party like this but I’ve practiced,” you mimicked brushing off your shoulders and Jimin let out a hearty laugh.

“Alright, a seasoned pro!” Hoseok chimed in excitedly.

“Is Hana not here?” you asked quietly to Jimin.

“I haven’t seen her, no,” he shrugged.

“Did they break up?”

“I doubt it, but I don’t know.” he answered.

“Alright, ladies! Let's go!” Taehyung shouted enthusiastically.

Hoseok took the first shot, landing it perfectly in a cup on your side of the table, and Jimin took the first swig, downing the cup. Hoseok shot again, missing by a mile. Jimin laughed before tossing his ball across the table, expertly landing it in one of the opposing team’s. Hoseok pouted but drank anyway. Jimin tried again, landing another. You clapped and hooted for him. Jimin got three cups before he missed.

Taehyung got two cups, and you drank both before he grazed the edge of the third, but the ball didn’t go in. You started shooting and got two cups before someone jostled you on your third throw, causing you to miss the entire table. You shot a glare to the offending stranger, who apologized profusely. You sighed.

“Minho is clumsy but he’s sweet. Don’t be too hard on him. He might actually like it. Kinky bastard.” Jimin winked at you playfully.

You choked on your next breath, giggling at his words. Neither team scored anything for a while, too busy trash-talking each other and cracking jokes to concentrate on the game. Jimin’s full smile had yet to appear, but he did seem more relaxed in your presence, so you took it as a win. He wasn’t quite himself, putting on more of a show than usual, but you decided to let it go since he seemed like he was having a good time. Surprisingly, you were too. 

Taehyung was sweet and funny. He was easy to talk to and super charming. Hoseok was a ball of sunshine and energy, and they both seemed to accept you as part of their little group with no effort at all. You were Jimin’s friend, and therefore you were their friend by association. You wondered if these were people Jimin could be honest with, they seemed really genuine, but you knew how guarded he was so you weren’t about to bring it up. They were fun to be around, and that was enough for now.

The night raged on, and your team ended up winning beer pong. You’d both gained a pleasant buzz from the game but Taehyung and Hoseok were absolutely trashed. Jimin explained that they might’ve pregamed a little too hard before the party, so the added beers from their crushing defeat sent them over the edge into utterly intoxicated. They were currently clutching onto each other and singing a very off key rendition of a song you didn’t even recognize.

“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” you asked.

“Just down that hall,” Jimin pointed, and you smiled at him before making your way there.

You quickly did your business and washed your hands, checking your appearance in the mirror and smiling to yourself about how well the night was going. Everything was perfect and after last night with Jimin, he seemed more… into you? Less platonic. Or maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. Either way, you were hopeful that maybe Jimin felt the same way you did.

That was, until you walked out of the bathroom and saw him pushed up against the wall with some girl’s tongue down his throat. 

You felt like the room was spinning. Your heart shattered and you found it difficult to get air into your lungs as you stood frozen in shock, eyes glued to the pair like a car wreck. You just couldn’t look away. It felt like years, but lasted only a second before Jimin’s eyes opened and he spotted you. He pushed the girl off of him, taking a step toward you, but you made a beeline for the door.

You weaved your way through the crowd as fast as you could, ignoring Taehyung who gleefully called out for you to join him in karaoke. You begged any entity that was listening to let you hold your tears in until there were no witnesses, focusing solely on getting your feet to move faster and holding your emotions at bay. You heard Jimin calling your name but you only moved faster, sprinting out of the open door and down the empty road.

How could you have been so stupid? Of course he didn’t like you. You were just the first person to show him, real, unconditional friendship. That’s all his affection was. Platonic. He didn’t want you. How could he? That girl looked like a supermodel. Of course she was more his type. How could you even think he would ever want someone like you? Because he spent one night with his arms wrapped around you and brought you to a party in front of his friends? Ugh.

“Y/N! Wait!” Jimin called, and you could hear his footsteps growing closer. 

Damn him and his dancer’s stamina.

You wiped any stray tears from your eyes and did your best to plaster on a smile as you turned around to face him, you couldn’t outrun him. You might as well act normal and pretend everything was fine. Jimin slowed to a stop in front of you, panting a little.

“Where are you going?” he asked breathlessly.

“Oh, uh. I’m going home,” you grimaced as your voice cracked.

“Y/N, it wasn’t what it looked like,” Jimin began.

“Oh Jimin, it’s fine,” you brushed him off, using every bit of your willpower to make yourself seem believable. “You can do whatever or whoever you want. It’s not like I own you.”

“I saw the look on your face, Y/N, I-” Jimin tried but you shook your head.

“No it’s fine. I should’ve known you’d want to have some fun tonight. You’re not obligated to babysit me just because you invited me,” you cut him off.

“But I-” he tried again, scratching his arm in frustration.

“Go back to the party, that girl is probably waiting,” you smiled, moving to turn around.

“Would you just fucking listen to me?!” he shouted, making you freeze in your tracks. 

Your eyes flickered up to meet his in shock, mouth hanging slightly ajar. Despite him being covered in tattoos and piercings, you’d never heard Jimin raise his voice or be threatening in any way. His sudden outburst caused your heart to flutter in your chest, both with astonishment and a little bit of arousal.

“She just came up and started talking to me, and she asked me to fuck, but I said no. She kissed me out of nowhere and I froze. As soon as I saw you I knew I fucked up. I pushed her off and told her to get lost. I don’t want her, Y/N. I don’t want any of them,” he nearly growled in frustration, running a hand through his messy hair. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

Your heart stopped beating entirely. 

“I was scared to tell you because I didn’t want to scare you off. You said all you wanted was friendship and I didn’t want to push you away. You’re my best friend. You’re the only one who really sees me, the only one who really cares. You make me a better man. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Everyone leaves but I can’t lose you. Not you. I… I love you. I’m in love with you,” he sighed, taking a step closer and gauging your reaction.

“You… do?” you whispered, scared that if you spoke too loudly he’d vanish and you’d wake up from this dream.

“I love you,” he repeated, placing his hands on your shoulders and running them down your arms to interlock your fingers.

“I love you too,” you choked out, your tears running freely now. “Jimin I love you so much it hurts.”

Jimin lifted one hand to cup your cheek, his eyes full of love and adoration and contentment. His gaze flickered down to your lips then back up to your eyes. You nodded, just barely, and he leaned in. Finally, after months of daydreaming about this very moment, Jimin’s soft, plush lips pressed against your own. Time seemed to stop, and everything faded away but Jimin and the way he kissed you. 

His kiss was gentle, but held so much passion. All the words he couldn’t say, or didn’t know how to, he flooded them all into the way he kissed you, wrapping his arms around you and bringing you closer as he worked his mouth against your own. Kissing Jimin felt like coming home, like the first breath of air after being caught in a current and forced underwater until your breaking point. It felt right. 

Jimin’s tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth, allowing him entrance. His tongue explored your mouth, sliding along yours and it felt more like a loving caress than horny college kids making out. Deepening the kiss had lit something inside you and you pressed even closer to him, pouring all your love and longing into the actions between your lips.  

Pulling away only when your lungs began screaming for air, Jimin rested his forehead against your own, his breaths coming out labored. His eyes searched yours and a slow smile spread across his reddened lips.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he admitted breathlessly.

“Me too,” you giggled, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as the blush crept into your cheeks.

Jimin laughed and held you tight against him, rubbing soothing circles against your back. You both stayed like that, in the middle of the road, the only light being the stars and the moon, but you didn’t care. All that mattered was that Jimin loved you. Jimin loved you! And he wanted you. And you were safe in his arms. 

“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Jimin smiled, pulling back to look at your face.

You nodded, slipping your hand into his and walking beside him. Your whole chest felt like it was going to explode. You were elated. You were shocked and excited and so, so happy. You giggled to yourself, hiding your face with your free hand as Jimin walked you home.

“What’s so funny?” he chuckled.

“I can’t believe this is real, I’m so happy,” you admitted, biting your lip nervously and shooting a curious glance his way to watch his reaction.

Jimin smiled softly, pulling you closer to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Me too baby. Me too,” he said softly.

Jimin walked you home and you both crawled into your bed. Jimin wrapped you up in his arms and held you close. You felt like you were in heaven. You ran your fingers through Jimin’s hair, then trailed them down his arm, tracing his tattoos with the tips of your fingers. Jimin smiled, rubbing shapes and doodles into the skin of your back where your shirt had ridden up. 

His gentle caresses were soothing, and after the ultra emotional day you’d had, you were pretty drained. You drifted in and out of consciousness, shifting closer to Jimin and he grinned, holding you against his frame and leaving gentle pecks on your neck, your ear, wherever he could reach. You giggled.

“I’m so glad you’re finally mine,” he whispered into the chilly air of your room.

“I’ve been yours, Jimin. From the moment I met you,” you admitted sheepishly.

“I might not have known it yet, but I was yours too,” he smiled, kissing your cheek. “Now go to sleep.”

So you did.

                                                        -♡-

About a week later, the rumors were still running rampant about you and Jimin after you’d both made it official on social media, and were now spotted sharing sweet kisses and tender touches in public rather than just being together. You’d received a fair amount of messages and evil looks, girls upset that you’d taken Jimin off the market and now his skills were “going to waste.” You’d just roll your eyes and hit the block button.

You had been wondering about those skills more and more recently. Once you and Jimin had started dating, he had seemingly become allergic to wearing shirts. Prancing around your dorm room with his toned body on display, delicious ink decorating the surface of his ivory skin… you were frequently having thoughts that weren’t exactly PG. But Jimin hadn’t brought up sexual activity, and neither had you.

You felt like you could cut the sexual tension with a knife some days, but didn’t want to push Jimin into anything, not when you knew that he’d used sex as a way to push people away in the past. You knew you were overthinking, and should probably just talk to him, but you were nervous. But oh goodness did you want him. You’d wanted him from the moment you’d laid eyes on him, and rejecting his proposition that first night had been harder than you’d thought.

Now it seemed like every time you looked at Jimin, it became harder to hold back. Knowing that he knew you loved him now, and that he loved you too gave you that level of comfort you needed to be able to finally take the plunge with him. You wanted him to plunge into you. All. Night. Long. 

You shook your head to rid yourself of the dirty thoughts you were having just as Jimin climbed in bed beside you, snuggling up to your frame and pulling you against him. You smiled and ran your fingers over the tattoos on his arms, tracing the designs with the tips of your fingers as lightly as you could. Jimin liked that you were always touching him. Running your fingers through his hair, tracing his tattoos, or just resting your palm against his chest. It didn’t matter as long as you were touching him, he was content. 

He shifted, laying on his back with one arm tucked behind his head, allowing you to rest your head on his chest and trace the tattoos that littered the skin there as well. Jimin closed his eyes and focused on the sound of your even breathing and the feeling of your fingers gently brushing against his skin. He shivered a time or two, and you snuggled closer, assuming he was cold. Unable to rid yourself of the lingering dampness between your thighs, you let your fingers gently graze across Jimin’s pierced nipple.

Jimin sucked in a breath and bit back a low moan, but you heard his chest rumble with the action. You bit your lip and mumbled a quiet, insincere apology. You traced the tattoos along his collar bone for a while before your fingers daringly dipped down, brushing the other exposed nipple, which had Jimin tensing below you and letting out a quiet whine.

“Are you doing that on purpose?” he accused, focusing his gaze on you.

“Noooo…” you trailed off, looking up at him with faux innocence.

“I’m trying really hard to be good right now, baby girl,” he breathed out, almost as if he was in pain. 

“What if… I don’t want you to be?” you whispered seductively, letting your hand trail down his abdomen teasingly.

Jimin’s muscles clenched at the movement, and you noticed there was a sizable tent in his sweatpants. Your mouth watered at the sight. He was clearly working with some nice equipment. Jimin shifted so he could put his full attention on you, his eyes searching yours.

“Are you sure? I know you said you were waiting, are you really ready for this?” he asked, concern and a little bit of hope written all over his face.

“I’m sure. I love you, Jimin. I want you,” you smiled reassuringly, leaning in to place a kiss to his gorgeous, soft lips.

Jimin brought his hand up to cup your cheek, working those plush lips of his against your own. The two of you had made out before, but this felt different. You were filled with anticipation and need. You pressed yourself closer to him, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding gracefully along your bottom lip, which you immediately parted for him.

His deft muscle slipped inside your mouth, rolling against yours skillfully. His hand dropped from your cheek and snaked up your side, sneaking under your shirt and grazing along your stomach until he reached your breast, kneading it underneath your flimsy bralette. His thumb brushed against your nipple and your body jolted towards him, seeking more. 

“Mmm… so responsive.” he whispered against your lips with a teasing smirk. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, then let your nail scrape gently along his pierced nipple, tugging ever so gently on the metal ring. Jimin moaned into your mouth, his body arching towards yours. You smirked against his lips.

“So responsive.” you giggled.

Jimin chuckled, pulling back to look at you with a raised eyebrow, the light reflecting off the piercing there as well. His cocky look was gasoline on the fire of your arousal, and you made yourself busy by kissing down his exposed neck, leaving a trail of red and purple bruises in your wake.  Jimin’s low moans were music to your ears. You wanted to elicit more of the beautiful sounds from the irresistible man who had become putty in your hands.

Urging him onto his back, you straddled his hips and ground your covered core down against his clothed erection for a little relief, causing Jimin to let out more delicious noises. You kissed down his chest, bringing his nipple piercing into your mouth and licking around the sensitive area before tugging it gently with your teeth, scraping the flesh just a bit in the process. Jimin’s hips bucked up into yours at the action.

Your fingers teasingly dipped below the elastic of his sweats, running back and forth along the edge while you worked your mouth against each nipple. Jimin’s hands found purchase on your hips, his nails digging in just a bit so he had something to ground himself while you teased him. Your hand slipped underneath his sweats, surprised to find he’d foregone boxers. Your fingers brushed against his rigid length, and he tensed, gripping your hips harder.

“Don’t tease,” he groaned, head lolling back as he tried to restrain himself.

You giggled, wrapping your hand around his length and slowly dragging it upwards, letting your thumb circle the tip. You used the precum that spilled out to lubricate your next journey down. Jimin groaned, finally losing patience and effortlessly flipped the two of you over until he was hovering above you. He smirked at the surprised expression on your face and began leaving pretty red marks all over your neck and the exposed portion of your chest.

He sat up momentarily, pinning you with a hungry gaze and fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

“Off,” he commanded.

You immediately complied, peeling the fabric off your body and tossing it away, revealing your lacy bralette. Jimin’s eyes roamed over your chest and he licked his lips before leaning down and letting his tongue draw a stripe over the thin fabric covering your nipple, already erect and sensitive. Soft whimpers escaped your lips. It felt good, but you needed more.

Jimin’s lips traveled farther down your body, leaving marks all over your skin. He licked and sucked and nibbled in places you never would’ve considered erogenous zones before, but honestly, maybe it was just because it was Jimin. His tongue danced along the hem of your shorts teasingly before he glanced up at you to make sure you were still okay. You nodded breathlessly.

Jimin peeled your shorts down to expose your black satin panties, and you wished you’d worn the lace ones but it could’ve been worse. He brought the little bow tie between his teeth, tugging and letting it snap back against your pelvis. You jumped a bit and Jimin chuckled, mumbling “so cute” under his breath before slipping your soaked panties down your legs and tossing them aside.

“Damn baby girl, you’re dripping,” he grinned triumphantly. “What got you all worked up like this?”

“Jimin,”  you whined impatiently.

“That’s right baby, say my name,” he teased (although he wasn’t really joking), but didn’t waste much more time, lowering his face and licking a bold stripe along your folds to distract you while he snuck a finger closer to your entrance, letting your arousal aid him in entering you. His tongue drew some sort of lost language on your clit with expertise, and it was almost impossible for you to hold still with the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins.

Your hips bucked up and Jimin moved a hand to splay along your lower stomach, holding you down onto the bed while he devoured your pussy, slowly adding a second and third finger to stretch you out. It burned for a moment before you got used to it, Jimin’s fingers gliding along your walls and hitting your g-spot repeatedly. Even for your first time together, he knew your body like the back of his hand.

 You could already feel the coil deep inside you threaten to snap at Jimin’s ministrations. You were a moaning mess, babbling his name like it was the only word you knew. His plump lips wrapped around your throbbing bundle and he sucked- hard. You groaned, back arching off the bed as your orgasm crashed over you, your vision going spotty. Now you knew why they said he could make you see stars.

Your body fell lax against the mattress as you panted, before pushing yourself up on your elbows to see Jimin’s face lift from your core. He met your eyes and seductively licked your juices off his lips, closing his eyes and savoring the taste of you. Your mouth went dry at how erotic he looked, and he climbed up your body, pressing his lips to yours and allowing you to taste yourself. 

Your mouths worked against each other, and you wound your fingers in his hair, tugging gently on his soft locks, causing him to let out a low whine. 

“Do that again,” he begged against your lips, his voice deeper and a little hoarse, but needy.

You wound your fingers in his hair, gripping it tighter and tugging again. Jimin let out a strangled moan, grinding his rock hard member against your core. Your body shivered at the feeling of his clothed shaft pressing up against where you needed him the most.  

“Jimin, please,” you sighed, bucking your hips up to meet his.

“Okay baby. Oh fuck. Please tell me I still have a spare condom,” he suddenly groaned, reaching over for his wallet on your nightstand. 

You watched him curiously, your eyes lingering on the curve of his plump ass under his sweats. You licked your lips, wanting to bite into the flesh. You’d save that for another time. Jimin let out a triumphant noise and held the condom in the air like a first place medal. You giggled at your boyfriend and rolled your eyes with a smile. 

Jimin slid his sweats off in one smooth motion, kicking them away and onto the floor somewhere before ripping the condom open with his teeth and rolling it onto his length. Jimin paused,  peering at you from his place above you, a small smile curling onto his plush lips, his eyes alight with adoration.

“I love you,” he whispered, intertwining his fingers with yours.

“I love you too,” you sighed happily. 

“Are you ready?” he asked, squeezing your hand gently.

“Yes. I’m ready.”

Jimin leaned down, meeting your lips in a soft kiss, and slowly slid his rigid length into your honeyed entrance. You gasped into his mouth at the welcome intrusion, his cock stretching you in the most delicious way. Even with the prep from his fingers, his cock stretching your walls burned just slightly. Jimin deepened the kiss in an attempt to distract you from the discomfort, slowly inching more of his length inside until he bottomed out, his hips flush against yours.

Jimin fit inside you perfectly, his thick cock filling you up like he was made for you. He pulled back to look at your face, and you shot him a reassuring smile. He brought your joined hands up to his lips, placing them gently on the back of your wrist, and once you nodded your approval, he slid out until just the bulbous tip was left inside, before sliding back in, setting a slow, torturing pace.

This wasn’t your first rodeo, though you were nowhere near as experienced as Jimin, but no one had ever felt this good inside you. No one had ever felt this right. Jimin reached places inside you that no man had before and you were already falling apart at the movement of his hips. Jimin was definitely a dancer, able to move his body precisely and with precision, angling his hips to hit that soft spot inside you with every thrust. 

“Fuck babygirl, you look so beautiful like this,” he groaned into your ear, his hot breath coming out in short puffs from the physical exertion.

“Ngh. Jimin,” you whined, “Please. More.” 

“Can you handle it?” he wondered, experimentally dragging his cock a little faster along your walls, continually hitting that sweet spot inside you.

“Yes, yes please. Need you,” you whimpered, bucking your hips up to meet his.

Jimin’s brow furrowed in concentration and his hips picked up speed, his sole purpose in that moment to give you the most blinding pleasure you’d ever experienced. His punishing pace had you wailing out his name in ecstasy, clawing at his back in a desperate attempt to ground yourself to something, lest you float away into oblivion from the fire building deep in your core.

“Come on baby, you look so pretty when you cum for me. Let go,” Jimin urged, his free hand slipping between your bodies to rub at your clit.

“Fuck… Jimin!” you cried out, and his teeth sinking into the flesh of your neck was the last thing you needed to send you careening over the edge into bliss for the second time that night.

Your breath coming in heavy pants, you were surprised when Jimin showed no signs of slowing down. Your walls continued to clench around his length in the aftermath of your orgasm, and Jimin let our low growls at the feeling of your pussy swallowing up his cock with each thrust. You whimpered, slightly sensitive from your two previous orgasms, but Jimin pistoning himself inside you still felt heavenly. 

Jimin shifted, pulling your leg up over his shoulder, the new position allowing him to reach even deeper inside your core, and your eyes nearly rolled back in your skull at the sensation of his cock kissing your cervix. You were a whimpering mess, your moans now garbled gibberish, not making any sense. All you knew in that moment was Jimin and how good he made you feel.

His lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive flesh, and you shivered. His thrusts were getting erratic as he chased his own high, but Jimin was desperate to make you cum again first. He pinched and rolled your clit between his thumb and forefinger, abusing the bundle in the best way, sending you closer to your high once again.

“Fuck, Jimin- I-” you groaned.

“Come on baby, give me one more,” Jimin encouraged, using all his strength to hold back his own impending orgasm as he slammed inside of you.

Your whole body seemed to seize as you came for the third time, this one more intense than the others, making you almost dizzy with euphoria. Your throat burned with the force of your screams, quickly turning raw with use. Jimin didn’t last much longer, your cunt clenching around his length sending him over the edge. His hips stilled as he spilled ropes of hot cum into the condom. You could feel the heat from the thin plastic layer and wished that you could feel his seed shooting into you, dripping from your hole. 

Jimin collapsed next to you, panting. His body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and he looked absolutely edible like this. His plump lips parted as heavy breaths escaped, he turned his head and his eyes met yours. You were both shaking from the intensity of your highs, and you let out a quiet giggle which made a smile bloom across Jimin’s lips. He let out a quiet chuckle.

“You’re so beautiful,” he cooed, turning his body back to face yours after tossing the used condom into the trash.

His arms wrapped around your torso, bringing your naked chests flush against each other as he peppered chaste kisses along your forehead, nose, and cheeks before catching your lips in a sweet kiss. 

“I love you,” you whispered, clinging to his sweaty body like he was the only thing keeping you from floating away, and maybe he was.

“I love you more,” he grinned against the skin of your neck.

“Absolutely not. I love you more,” you pouted.

“Nuh uh,” he teased, fingers poking into your side, causing you to shriek and curl into him.

He laughed and kissed your forehead, relenting from his teasing and tickling. Your bodies spent, you drifted off to sleep together, safe in the comfort of each other’s arms.

                                                        -♡-

Months had flown by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, it was May and you were graduating. They say time flies when you’re having fun, and they are right. Every moment spent with Jimin never seemed to last long enough. After the two of you started dating, Jimin had slowly begun opening up to other people. He learned to trust Hoseok and Taehyung, and your initial impression of them had been correct: they were people Jimin could count on. 

Jimin did lose a few friends from the frat house when he stopped trying to play the part of the indifferent fuckboi, but he didn’t really count those people as losses. If they couldn’t accept the real him, they weren’t worth it. The two of you had branched out socially, and made new friends as well. Yoongi, the music major, who began working at the coffee shop you both frequented. He was stoic and unapproachable at first, but Jimin had commented on his band t shirt once and Yoongi’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, showing that he was actually super sweet and thoughtful once you got past his icy exterior. 

Namjoon, the business major whom you’d met while browsing the shelves of your university library. You’d been having a hard time reaching the book you wanted, and Namjoon had assisted without you even asking for help, his much taller frame bringing the book down to your level. He’d told you he had read that book at least ten times and you would surely love it. The two of you hit it off and soon Jimin joined you, immediately connecting with Namjoon as well. He was smart, patient, and would make an amazing businessman, just from the way he could read people but never treated anyone any differently.

Seokjin, the culinary arts major who had gone around campus giving out free samples of his work, promoting his new youtube channel “Eat Jin.” One taste of his dasik and you were begging him for the recipe. Jin had lit up and began explaining exactly how to make it and invited you to an episode of Eat Jin.

Jungkook, who hadn’t quite figured out what he wanted to do yet, had met Jimin at the gym. He was boxing in the practice room that Jimin had reserved to dance. He hadn’t noticed he’d gone over his time, and when Jimin politely entered the room, complimenting his form, he’d flushed and shot him the most adorable bunny smile. Jungkook apologized for running over his time and Jimin brushed it off, but Jungkook insisted on buying him coffee as an apology.

Slowly but surely, your friendship group grew, each new friend weaving their way into your hearts and teaching you something new. They got along with each other as well, as it turned out. You’d thrown a surprise party for Jimin’s birthday and invited them along, Namjoon and Jin became inseparable almost immediately, and Hoseok and Yoongi as well. Taehyung and Jungkook became a dynamic duo, consistently stirring up trouble wherever they went. 

Hoseok and Hana hadn’t broken up, after all. Hana had even contacted you to get coffee, apologizing for judging Jimin unfairly and trying to get in between the two of you. She’d joined your little group of friends, which slowly became more like a second family . Jimin flourished, surrounded by people who loved and cared for him exactly as he was.

He didn’t have to pretend to be anything but himself, didn’t have to please anyone, play any parts. His smile reached ear to ear and his eyes shone with love and light and so much life. Thinking back to the way they’d been dull and lifeless when you first met him brought you to tears as you watched him throw his head back in laughter and wrap his arms around Jungkook, who returned the gesture with similar glee.

Jimin no longer seemed broken. The dead weight resting in his chest had been lifted, and he was free. It didn’t happen overnight, and beginning his relationship with you certainly hadn’t been a magic fix, but it had been a catalyst. You taught Jimin that there were people in this world who genuinely could care for him without expecting anything in return. You showed him that there was still good, and he could trust people. Then, slowly, he’d met more and more people who only validated the lessons you’d taught him.

The more people Jimin met who didn’t use him, the more the ice around his heart began to chip away, giving him the strength and the courage to save himself from the darkness that had plagued his heart and mind for so long. And now, you were all graduating, moving on to pursue your dreams and aspirations. It was the last party of your college career, and you’d all gathered because Jimin had announced he’d had something to say to everyone. You gazed up proudly at your boyfriend.

“Thank you all for being here to celebrate the last night of college!” he cheered, earning hoots and hollers from your friends.

 “I know we all promised to keep in touch, but I just wanted to make sure that you all know how much I appreciate you being in my life. I love every single one of you, and I couldn’t have asked for a more amazing group of people to surround myself with. You all have lifted me up, encouraged me, and given me the strength to keep fighting when times got tough. They say that sometimes when you’re in a dark place, that you think you’ve been buried. But really, you’ve been planted. You just need a little bit of love and patience before you bloom. So thank you for giving me what I needed to bloom. All of you. Especially you, Y/N. You were the first person who really believed in me, and if it weren’t for you, I never would’ve let in any of these guys. I love you, baby. And I love all of you,” he grinned, “So here’s a toast to all of you, may your future be bright and your beer be full!”

Cheers erupted around you and you cheered along, all of you knocking back a sip of your drink to Jimin’s toast. He hopped down and wrapped an arm around you, kissing your cheek as your friends congratulated him on his speech and shared how happy they were to have met you both as well. Your heart felt like it couldn’t possibly get any fuller than it was in that moment, surrounded by people you loved. 

You and Jimin had both grown so much since that first night at the party, you’d fought, you’d cried, you’d laughed, and you’d gotten stronger. You were so proud of him and how far he had come, and you felt peace settle over you knowing the fact that he’d never have to be alone again, and neither would you. No matter what you found on the road ahead, you’d be okay.

You had each other.

[bigskydreaming]

Okay, long time followers will probably remember having read this, but I can’t find the original post and I’m trying to like.....force-reboot/jumpstart me working on my ‘Kings of the Sky’ AU again because I haven’t touched it in awhile and I have like literally eight different installments in various stages of completion and that’s ridiculous even for me. So here’s a repost of the first part of “Teachable Moments” the canon-divergence point of that AU series, where Jason calls Dick for advice after the Garzonas case and everything changes from there.

******

The way Jason Todd warily eyed the device in his hand, one might think it was an instrument of great and terrible destructive power, rather than just…his own personal cell-phone.

To be fair, he was Robin, and pretty used to the idea that even the most unlikely of things could be used for evil in Gotham. It could’ve been stolen and replaced at some point by a henchperson of Mr. Freeze, and using it could unleash some kind of cryogenic freeze ray that would turn him into a Robinsicle. Mad Hatter could be up to shit again, and dialing the phone at this very minute might mean syncing it up with a remote radio signal that would override his natural brainwaves and turn him into Tetch’s mindless minion of like…doom and stuff. Or…or…

Or sometimes, even in Gotham a phone is just a phone, and Freud is still a dumbass. And neither of the above possibilities had anything to do with why Jason was being a giant freaking pansy about entering the last digit of the phone number he would never ever admit to having had memorized for months now.

Nightwing had said to call if he ever needed to talk. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t actually want Jason to call, right? Like, its not as if Jason had remotely been expecting him to do that, so its not the sort of thing someone did just because it was ‘expected’ or shit. He was pretty sure. Rich people manners were weird though. Had to factor that in.

But Nightwing had also even made a point to say not talking to people about stuff was Bruce’s problem and that Jason shouldn’t let it be his problem too, and even though months ago Jason had been a starry-eyed dumbass who was totally drunk on the Bruce is the Bestest Kool-Aid or whatever, ‘Wing had definitely known what he was talking about there. So maybe he’d get it, and having this conversation with him wouldn’t be. Like. The actual worst idea in the history of ever.

Deductive logic said that Jason was getting worked up over nothing and there was no rational reason for him to be this nervous about dialing a fucking phone number. And he’d gotten pretty good at the whole deduction shit, given all the work he and Bruce had put into training his mind to view the world through entirely new paradigms, so Jason was pretty sure his math on that checked out. But on the other hand, Bruce was a hypocritical asshat that Jason was currently not speaking to, so what the fuck did he know about anything?

Aaaaand he was back to square one. Well damn. This was excellent. Very productive. Good hustle out there, Jay.

Sighing gustily, Jason flopped back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to pretend he hadn’t gotten used to how luxurious and cushion-y his ridiculously expensive mattress was. He’d gotten soft, he told himself. Then he scoffed at the idea that the past year and a half of rigorous Robin training and patrols had made him less tough than the pipsqueak he’d been back when living on the street, getting his ass kicked by bigger and badder on the regular. That hadn’t been hardness, that had been bravado.

But it had gotten him this far in life, so maybe there was something to be said for it after all?

Ugh. Decisions were hard. He objected on principle. He also really wanted to understand why he was this nervous…if he could literally fill the guy’s shoes and kick supervillain ass as Robin, what freaking sense did it make that he couldn’t even call him up on the phone?

Maybe you just know better than to ask him questions you don’t really want to hear his answer to, a smug voice said in the back of his mind. It sounded suspiciously like Willis Todd, which was all kinds of weird and fucked up, cuz Jason was damn sure his abusive a-hole of a deadbeat dad had never said anything that insightful in his life.

Which meant it was his own screwed up subconscious - presenting in the voice of his not so dearly departed douchebag dad, no less - that had Jason reacting out of spite, entering the last number and hitting Talk, all while totally on autopilot. Because apparently we’re all making healthy life choices in this Chili’s tonight, Jason snickered somewhat hysterically while his phone rang once, twice, three times.

Ugh. Was he always this fucked up in the head and he just never noticed, or was it a side effect of running around rooftops in a cape. Inquiring minds wanted to know.

“Hello?” Someone said then, answering on the fourth ring. Jason sat bolt upright, his nervous humor vanishing as quickly and unexpectedly as it’d hijacked him in the first place. For all that he’d only actually interacted with the older man a few times, his voice was instantly recognizable. As was his slight confusion.

Right. Because why would Nightwing have the untraceable number of the latest burner phone Bruce had given Jason, when the ever paranoid Bat had him swapping out phones every freaking week? Duh, Jay.

“Uh, its me,” Jason said hastily, as if he could somehow catch up to and overtake the epically long ten second silence he let lapse before his mouth started making words again. “Jason?”

“Jaybird! Hey! What’s going on?” The older vigilante’s tone instantly morphed into one of surprised delight, so apparent even across the phone that Jason actually pulled it away from his ear and stared at it, as if that could explain Nightwing’s inexplicable giddiness. He’d literally only met the dude three times. Give or take a concussion he was forgetting about maybe? Weird.

Then again, the older man was a circus performer from birth. Might just be good at faking being super excited to hear from people? Whatever. Still weird.

“Uh, you said to call if I was ever having, I dunno, issues with Bruce I guess? So I kinda had a question? I mean, if you’re not busy or anything.”

Just one question? Willis’ voice asked snidely, echoing in time with the rapid tripartite beat of Jason’s heart. Since apparently everything Jason said was trying to come out with a question mark attached to the end of it at the moment. Ugh, fuck you, subconscious, Jason thought forcefully, even as he ransacked the recesses of his mind for that bravado he was thinking about earlier. It had to be in here somewhere…

“No worries dude, I’ve got time. Hit me!” Nightwing said cheerfully. His lighthearted cadences were so at odds with the sweat suddenly breaking out on Jason’s forehead, the younger teen couldn’t help but wince in anticipation of its inevitable change once he got his actual question out. This was a bad idea, he decided, way too fucking late for it to make a difference. He had a hunch Nightwing wouldn’t be content to ‘just forget it’ or whatever even if Jason chickened out now.

So he took a deep breath, shrugged and did what Jason Todd did best. Said fuck it, put pedal to the metal, and drove at full speed for the metaphorical police barricade that was his way of picturing all the things telling him He Should Definitely Just Not.

“Do you think I’m someone who could kill somebody in like, cold blood?”

Aaaaand there went the lightheartedness. Well, he’d definitely stone cold killed that, Jason thought grimly into the silence that followed.

“Huh,” Nightwing said at last. “You’re gonna have to give me a second to switch gears here, Jay. I was kinda expecting something along the lines of ‘how do I avoid Bruce giving me the safe sex talk.’”

Jason flushed and nodded jerkily, not that the older man could see it. Still, it’d been enough of a workout just getting to this point. He didn’t trust what might come out of his mouth next if he kept trying to force it. Thankfully Nightwing didn’t make him wait too long before continuing.

“I think anyone’s capable of killing somebody in the right circumstances,” Jason’s predecessor began carefully. Except that was not remotely what he wanted to hear. Or helpful.

“I’m not looking for platitudes,” Jason grit out, not angry at the other vigilante so much as the whole fucked up mess and his inability to think about anything else at this point. “It’s just a simple fucking question. You’ve met me, do you think like, I’d be capable of just killing somebody or not.”

“I’m not offering platitudes,” Nightwing continued calmly, as if he wasn’t phased by the younger boy’s interruption or sudden aggression at all. “And its not a simple question at all. Speaking from experience, most people wouldn’t think of an eight year old as a cold-blooded killer, but that’s what I could have been if Bruce hadn’t stopped me from killing my parents’ murderer when I first tracked him down. And yet that’s still totally different from when I held a gun on Two-Face barely a couple years later, about to shoot him because somebody else told me to, and because I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me. Wouldn’t you agree those are two different situations and two different ‘kinds’ of cold-blooded killer? Context is kinda a big deal here.”

Huh. First off…what the fuck? Jason stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying to hurry up the processing functions of his brain because, again, what the fuck? He was like ninety nine percent positive none of that had been in the Dick Grayson Is The Greatest and Here Are All The Reasons Why brochure he’d had read to him every time someone new found out he was Wayne’s newest stray, and like. Uh. Yeah, that part would have definitely stood out. Because once more, with feeling:

“What the fuck?”

Oops. That hadn’t been supposed to be out loud. Bad mouth. Bad.

Nightwing just did a weird kinda half laugh half sigh combo. Rueful, Jason would describe it, if he were describing it to someone else, which it kind of felt like he was, relaying the conversation to himself now that it’d taken a hard right turn into the surreal.

“Blindsided you with that, huh? Sorry, should’ve figured neither of those are the kinda stories Bruce would want to share with you. Then again, I don’t really have any idea what Bruce has told you about me.”

“Not much,” Jason admitted. Which was a major source of irritation, if he was being honest. The much sung praises of Dick Grayson came from literally everyone he met except for Bruce. Who usually just got a pinched expression whenever Jason brought him up, and a rapid subject change that was not nearly as subtle as Bruce seemed to think it was.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Nightwing sighed. “I hope you haven’t put too much stock in anything else you’ve heard about me then. I’ll admit to a bad habit of enjoying my mystique, so secondhand hearsay tends to lose my best nuances.”

Despite himself, Jason’s lips curved up and he let out a rueful huff of his own. “I mean, this definitely isn’t where I saw this conversation going.”

The older man chuckled. “Thought I was going to just assume the worst and chuck the book at you?”

“Well. Yeah.” Jason shrugged, even though he knew it wouldn’t come across. “Bruce did.”

Nightwing heaved an exasperated breath. “Yeah, that’s kinda the thing about B. Sometimes, he’s great. Other times, he’s an ass. Its kinda an either or thing. He’s never really mastered the art of finding a midpoint between two extremes. Mostly because he’s never seen the point of aiming for middle ground.”

“Well its not like he’s ever really had to,” Jason griped. It just slipped out before he could stop it, leaving him feeling guilty for bad-mouthing B when he wasn’t around to defend himself. Especially since he knew Nightwing wasn’t the guy’s biggest fan these days. But he couldn’t deny it also felt good, in a way.

To his surprise, Nightwing just laughed. And not even in a malicious, spiteful kind of way, but almost relieved.

“God, thank you. You’d think that ‘hey, so my billionaire guardian kinda has entitlement issues’ would be a water is wet kind of revelation, but try saying something like that to pretty much anyone else…”

“And they look at you like you’re an ungrateful asshole?” Jason finished for him. Not that he’d ever actually tried saying that to anyone before, though he’d definitely thought it a time or two. But he could all too easily imagine the reactions he’d get, which was pretty much why he’d never gone so far as to speak the words.

“Yup,” Nightwing drawled, dragging out the p and popping it with emphasis. “And its not about being grateful or not, its just…there are some parts of everyone that just aren’t up for grabs, for other people to weigh in on or take charge of, you know? And a lot of people just don’t get that…because nobody’s ever tried it with them, or had to deal with expectations that…overstep, let’s call it?”

“Is that why you left?”

Jason winced the second it left his mouth. Too far. Definitely way too far, but he’d just gotten unexpectedly comfortable with the back and forth, and now he’d done the overstepping thing himself and was left with just dead air.

But ten seconds of heavy silence stretched into twenty, and went no further, as Nightwing sighed into his side of the phone again.

“The spiteful part of me wants to say it was more of a push than me just up and leaving,” he laughed again, but this time with unmistakable bitterness. “But even while that’s true, its not really the right answer to your question, because no matter how much of a clusterfuck that was at the time, its not…I mean, I knew at the time how to fix it. Where and how I needed to cave in order to make up with him and let things get back not quite to normal, but at least close enough.”

The pause wasn’t as heavy or tense this time, as Jason could almost sense the older man gathering his thoughts, trying to put them into words. He bit his lip rather than risk any more unexpected utterances escaping. This might not have been where he’d thought his phone call would lead, but now that he was here, hearing the answers to questions he’d wanted to ask for over a year and finding them almost comfortably familiar, he wasn’t going to risk distracting Nightwing or shutting him up for well. Anything.

“But it would have meant me caving. Settling in ways that I just…couldn’t. So in a way, yeah, I did leave, it was still my choice. And all of that was definitely a big part of it. I love Bruce, I do. I just couldn’t live with him anymore. Not without feeling like I had to give up my own autonomy and just be what he wanted. Or what he’d expected me to grow up to be, back when he first took me in. And as grateful as I am to him for that, I can’t honestly say I would have stuck around back then if I knew that was the price tag attached. I’m not…I don’t do well with people trying to force me to stick to one place, one thing. I was born on the road, you know? When I was a kid, I expected to spend the rest of my life living like that. Home was people. Not places. And so Gotham…its never fit me quite right, the way it does him, or even Barbara. Its not like I was miserable there, its just.”

“It wouldn’t have been your first choice,” Jason finished again, quietly. There was silence again for awhile.

“No. No, it wouldn’t have been. Not then.”

[vexillumalbum]

Hello! Whenever you do open requests, could you do the Insecure MC headcanons with Lucien and Victor as well? They’re my favorites so I’d really appreciate it. Loved those headcanons with Kiro and Gavin!

Hello to you too Anon! I struggled a bit with writing these so they can be a bit off. I hope you’ll forgive me. 

Victor’s HC I treated a little too personal (let’s say I’m in a similar situation as MC is here, because my partner is “wealthy” and I am not as much and when I tell you some rich people are ruthless... yeah they are) so I got a little carried away. I then tried to rewrite it but it just got worse so I decided to post it like that. 

As to Lucien - I don’t know him very well. I only have a few of his karmas, and I played only two of his dates. I do not dislike him, he is just not my type in otome games. 

With that being said I hope you’ll still be able to enjoy these HCs. Have a great day/night and please stay safe! 

*slight spoilers*

“You are gorgeous* with Victor and Lucien:

Victor

“Are you okay in there?” A deep voice from behind the door pulled you out of your thoughts. You quickly wiped your face with a towel, which you then threw into a basket of dirty laundry and looked in the mirror, hoping that you would not see a tearful woman with red eyes and swollen cheeks.

There is a reason, however, that they say hope is the mother of fools.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Give me a minute!” Your voice almost cracked and it took everything in you not to start crying again. You grabbed another towel, soaked it in cold water and started to vigorously tap it on your face to make the puffiness disappear. 

On the other side of the door was standing very worried Victor with his brows furrowed and lips pressed in a thin line. He wasn’t deaf, he heard your sobs coming out of the bathroom a while ago and immediately wanted to know what’s wrong but knew you would not tell him right away. So leaned on the wall next to the door and waited for you to enter your shared bedroom.

Paler than a few minutes earlier you finally walked out with a tight smile plastered on your face. You rubbed your still-a-little-shaky hands on your silk robe to occupy them with something and get rid of the feeling of overwhelming nervousness.

♪ Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know ♪ (I’m sorry, I got carried away)

“Who are you trying to fool?” He knew. Of course he knew. 

“I’m tired, Victor. Can we please go to bed?”

“Not unless you tell me what’s bothering you.” He was giving you The Look™. This icy glare that he used at work that was basically saying „do as I say” and that every LFG employee was afraid of. You’ve seen The Look™ so many times now it didn’t bother you anymore but Victor didn’t even flinch when you tried to push past him in order to get to the bed. He was stubborn and you were   sick and tired of your own thoughts so you gave in.

Being the girlfriend of one of the most influential people in the country (*cough* the whole world *cough*) brought many advantages. Fancy business meetings, cruises on private yachts, beautiful views from hotel windows when you were traveling together for business trips. Not to mention how much love Victor gave you and how much he did for you privately, behind closed doors, where he showed you his tender loving side. 

But it also had many downsides. The people you two were mingling with were refined, elegant, sometimes you could even say stuck-up. And you felt like you didn’t belong there. Hell, you knew you didn’t.

Everything was a race between them. Who drove a better car, who had more investments, who knew more languages, who graduated from better university. Where was your place in this picture? 

You weren’t stupid, you were the boss of your own company, you were extremely strong-willed and dutiful, you worked hard, but somehow you still didn’t see yourself worthy of being Victor’s partner. 

In addition, there was the fact that Victor had little time for you - which of course you understood, he could not put his duties aside because of your whims - but somewhere inside you were still a bit upset.

Your boyfriend didn't know how to react. From the first day of your acquaintance, he saw you as someone confident, brave, not worried about failures, but only going forward. You managed to convince him HIM to give you and your company a chance. Never in a million years would he had guessed that under your tough exterior lay so many insecurities.

He held your shaking body in a tight embrace occasionally giving you a kiss on the crown of your head partially to calm you down and partially to calm himself down. He treated the fact that because of the self-doubt you brought yourself to the state where you cried when locked in a bathroom alone, as a private failure. 

Now he had to make up for every time he weren’t there with you. For you. 

You were used to lonely evenings spent in front of the TV with your favorite pudding (which compensated his absence a bit). So you were very surprised when a few days later he announced that from now on two evenings a week you would be obligated to spend together doing whatever you would like to.

Watching TV, playing piano, eating, having sex. You named it - he was down for it.

At banquets, when he saw your eyes begin to waver, he hugged you closer to his side or squeezed your hand a bit harder. He made you understand that he was next to you and did not intend to leave you. So you better not leave him

Oh, and if someone tried to offend you or your intelligence/appearance/mannerisms/whatever…

He would be with you in a minute and with the help of The Look™and his CEO voice he would let the poor thing know that the only person with whom something was wrong in the room was them.

Victor was not very good at comforting you with words, but his actions expressed more than a thousand of them. 

When you felt the need for self-pity, he brought you a cup of your favorite tea, covered your body with a blanket and hugged to himself, leaning your head against his sturdy chest. This way he made sure that you weren't alone with your problems. Sometimes he was also combing your hair with his fingers humming a melody he knew you loved, because you were constantly playing it on the piano. Like a parent calming their child down.

“Victor, thank you.” You said one time, your voice tired.

“Sleep, dummy. I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

He once lost you. He wasn’t going to risk it happening again. You were definitely the love of his life, the only person he would ever wait for. So if he had to wait for you to love yourself properly, so be it. 

Lucien

The spark of joy disappeared from your eyes some time ago. 

Lucien was a researcher, an observer, he knew when changes to your behavior occurred. He noticed them right away. 

How you were sabotaging yourself when something good happened to you. How you were dragging down all your accomplishments. How you became even harder on yourself to the point when you were falling asleep in different places because you were so fatigued. 

You were physically and emotionally drained but you kept going anyway cause if you stop, insecurities would eat you alive. 

“When are you going to tell me what’s been on your mind lately, butterfly?” A simple question asked during breakfast when he put a cup of chamomile tea in front of you made you almost choke on eggs you were currently chomping.

“Whatever you mean, Lucien…”

“I thought you were the one who said that a healthy relationship is based on honesty and openness. Weren’t you?”

This man. Seriously. 

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in that matter.”

“On the contrary. I am interested in about everything regarding your person.”

At that point you were sure he was aware of a mess you had inside your head. He gave it away by the way he grabbed your hand and wrapped his long fingers around yours, to later bring them to his lips and kiss each knuckle. It was a tender gesture, one he often did to lift your spirits.

You didn't quite want to explain everything to him, uncover all of your insecurities, but when he looked at you as penetrating as if he wanted to expose your soul as gently as possible, you couldn't refuse him. 

He held your hand all the time, didn’t let it go even when you rested your head on his shoulder while weeping.

To say that it broke Lucien's heart is an understatement. He knew everything he heard from you that morning. He had all this information, and yet to hear from you how much you did not believe in yourself, how much you loathed yourself, was a blow to him.

All he could do was gradually try to get you out of your bubble. He wanted to replace all that ugliness that you wore inside with something beautiful. 

Step one: A healthy mind in a healthy body. Who was supposed to know it better than a doctor?

As you struggled with drooping eyelids trying to perfect another report, which was impossible, Lucien's strong arms gently pulled you away from the desk and led you towards the bed. After several times, you even stopped protesting.

Chamomile tea has always been provided to you in stressful situations. Lucien even instructed Anna to prepare this tea for you at the company where he had no possibility of being.

Your boyfriend attached great importance to what you ate because it was a well-known fact that people with a diet rich in vitamins and omega-3 had a better mood. Oh no, no more junk food

Step two: exhibitions, galleries, theater, cinema, stargazing, watching the skylights, amusement park.

Between research and teaching at the university, Lucien took you to all the places you could have thought of. He took the replacement of ugliness with beauty quite literally. 

Your favorite place was a temporary butterfly exhibition at the Natural Museum, because there your boyfriend led you from a display case to a display case and was telling you passionately every interesting fact he knew about different species. How unguarded he became there was amusing but also very sweet.

“Did you know that this butterfly pups quite late and its wings are slightly smaller than the rest of the butterflies living in this area? This does not prevent him from being the most beautiful and useful of all of them.” He said pointing with one hand to one of the insects while the other was drawing small circles on the small of your back.

Did he just compared you to a butterfly?

Step three: a good ol’ love-making.

This man thought that if it doesn't reach you normally, it will hit you how wonderful you are through various positions in bed. Not only in bed

Good luck walking for the next few days

You gave Lucien’s life color, showed him that living with someone who cared about him and loved him was far better, happier. He was going to repay that favor now.

____________________________________________________

thank you so much for reading!

if you want to read more of my works they are here

[myhockeyworld87]

Nervous Regrets - Tyler Seguin - Part 22

Word Count: 6489

POV: Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas today if you’re celebrating! I’m so excited for you all to read this one, it’s the proposal; and it’s so soft. I hope you guys enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it. I’m also going to do a 22.5 which will be from Tyler’s pov, so you can see all he went through. With that, happy reading everyone. Peace, love and hugs to all!

Tyler didn’t get to stay home long after Thanksgiving, in fact he was back on the road in a couple of days. This trip was extra hard as he was gone for another ten days. These long stretches were killer on you both, for lately it seemed like you just wanted to spend all your time with each other. Though he did call you several times throughout the day and always at the end of the night before you both would fall asleep.

You kept yourself busy looking into new charities for Tyler to endorse. Most game nights you spent with the wags, either at one of their houses or at yours. It was always fun hosting the ladies at the new house, and they always made sure to have some fun non-alcoholic beverage to include you in toasting the teams wins. The only strange thing was when you’d talk about the Fire and Ice gala that was coming up, no one seemed to have any information on it or what the event was even about. Most of the time the Stars foundation would at least reach out to one of you with all the details, though this time it seemed very hush hush. However, you, Alandra and Andrea all made appointments at the salon that day for a day of pampering and to get all dolled up.

 Tyler was still pouting that he hadn’t seen the dress you’d bought, but just as Candace and Cassidy suggested, you’d wanted to wait till that night to show him. You’d actually caught him snooping around in the spare bedroom closet looking for it one day. “I just want to see it.” Or so he explained when you caught him rummaging around.

 “You’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow night.”

 “Fine.”

 “What are you wearing by the way? Do I need to have any of your suits cleaned before tomorrow?” The two of you were still in the closet. Tyler seemed antsy, but you chalked it up to him being caught looking for your dress.

 “You’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow night.” He teased you back, then ushered you out of the spare closet.

 “Ha, ha, you’re so funny. I’m being serious. Do any of your shirts need cleaned from the road trip? I can run them to the cleaners now and they’ll be done by tomorrow.”

 “Umm…actually, I’ll take them myself. I’ve got a few errands to run anyhow.”

 “Oh perfect. I’ll come with you; I need to pick some things up from the store as well.” You were almost out of the moisturizer you used, so why not head over to the store with him as it was on the way.

 “No!” You cocked your head at his sharp tone. “I mean…well, it’s just going to take me a long time and we probably shouldn’t both be gone from the dogs that long.”

 You quirked an eyebrow at him. It wasn’t like you were leaving the dogs for days, just a few hours. “What are you talking about? They’ll be fine. We’ve left for a lot longer than to run errands.”

 “It’s just they’re used to you being home now…and I think they’ll miss you if you leave.”

 “Ty, they’ll be fine. They’re not that attached to me.”

 “It’s just…Gerry hasn’t been feeling well.”

 “Huh?” You glanced over at the three dogs, who were in the room with you. “Gerry’s fine, I just spent the last seven days with him, and he was fine the whole time. Well except for…” You shut your mouth before you got the pup in anymore trouble.

 “Wait what did he do?”

 “Nothing, he didn’t do a thing. Now come on let’s go. So we don’t leave the dogs too long.” You said sarcastically.

 “I really think you should stay here with the dogs. They just seem lonely today.”

 “Tyler, what is your problem? Why don’t you want me to go with you?” A pit formed in your stomach as you started thinking of reasons that he wouldn’t want you to go. Things had been going so great between the two of you, though the ten day stretch was hard; you didn’t think it put that much of a strain on your relationship. He’d seemed fine when he got home, in fact so fine that the two of you made up for those ten days apart by having sex no less than three times in the last twenty-four hours. You didn’t want to think about him cheating, but it popped into your brain anyway. What if he was going to see someone else? You tried to squash the uneasy feeling in your stomach, but with each passing moment he didn’t answer you, you grew more and more fearful. Finally when the silence stretched too long you said, “Just go do whatever it is you have to do.” With that you walked out of the spare bedroom and down the steps, tears starting to form as you left.

 By the time you reached the kitchen, a few tears had slipped out; you swiped at them angrily, then grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and walked outside. You knew that Tyler would be coming downstairs any minute, and you didn’t feel like speaking with him at the moment. Instead you wondered around the outside in the cold November air. It helped cool the anger boiling through your veins. About ten minutes past before you heard the garage door open and the sound of the car engine, as it pulled out of the drive. It was then, that you finally broke down. Tyler left without even trying to look for you. His “errands” were more important than you were, and the more you thought about that, the harder you sobbed.

 How could you have let your guard down, and believe that you and Tyler would have a perfect life together? Things were just too good to be true, and honestly you should’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. The question now was, what did you do? You knew you had to confront him about the issue and find out if he really was cheating. Your heart didn’t want it to be true and neither did your mind. When you thought about it, there was no real proof; other than the fact he’d been acting strange since he came home. Grabbing your phone out of your pocket, you sat there deciding whether or not to look online for any information. Finger hoovering over the Instagram icon, you debated with yourself on what do to. Then Andrea Bishop’s word echoed in your head; you needed to tune out everything that was on there. So instead you called your friend Jenna. As one of your best friends, she was always the voice of reason and would hopefully be able to help tell you what to do.

 “Oh no what’s wrong?” You hadn’t even said hello, but Jenna could tell by your light sobs something was off.

 “I think Tyler might be cheating on me.” Somehow you managed to get it all out before you sniffed loudly in the phone, then broke down crying again.

 “Oh my god, calm down. Tell me why you think that?” When you continued crying into the phone, she said. “Things have been going so well between the two of you; maybe this is just a misunderstanding.”

 “I don’t know maybe.” You finally choked out.

 “So tell me why you think he’s cheating.”

 “He’s just been super strange since he got home…and today I asked him if anything needed to go to the cleaners for the gala, that I could take it for him.” A hiccup escaped you as you told Jenna what happened only a short time ago. “He told me he would do it, because he had some errands to run. I said I’d go with him because I had some to do too; yet he insisted I stay home.”

 “Well that doesn’t make me think he’s cheating.” “You don’t understand, he made up that Gerry was sick and I should stay home with him. We both know there’s nothing wrong with Gerry or the other dogs. He just wanted to sneak away from the house without me; and it’s probably because he’s seeing someone else.”

 “Oh (Y/N), I don’t think it’s that at all.” You perked up a little bit at Jenna’s comment.

 “Really?”

 “(Y/N) that man is head over heels in love with you. I can’t see him having some fling while he’s out of town. That was the old Tyler. This Tyler is totally dedicated to you and your baby.” She did make sense. It was only today that he’d been acting weird. “You have that gala tomorrow right”

 “Yeah.”

 “Well, maybe he’s trying to do something special for you; like rent a limo or something.” That seemed a bit far-fetched.

 “If he was going to do something like that, he could just call. There has to be something more.” You were convinced there was something going on, you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

 “It’s probably something more extravagant than that; it was just the first thing that popped in my head. But I definitely know he’s not cheating on you.” “How can you be so sure?”

 “Because if he is, I’ll beat the shit out of him.” You couldn’t help yourself, you laughed. Somehow, you could picture your best friend beating up Tyler; and you had a feeling she’d win. “Do you need me to come over there now, because I will?”

 “No, but thanks for the offer. Just talking to you about it, made me feel better. I know you’re right; I don’t think he’d cheat on me. I just can’t explain his actions today.”

 “Well you know Tyler, he’s probably trying to surprise you; though he never does it in a normal way.” Jenna was more than likely right. “I hate to cut this short, but I’ve gotta run. Are you sure you’re ok? Because I can cancel my plans and be right over.”

 “No I’ll be fine. I’m sorry for bugging you.”

 “(Y/N) you’re never a bother, this is what best friends are for; but I really have to run.” You felt bad for keeping your best friend from her plans, though she hadn’t mentioned what they were. ‘Sorry I’m late.’ You heard a distinct male voice in the background, which sounded a lot like Tyler.

 “Is that Tyler?”

 “What?...umm…No.” There was a slight panic in her voice. “That’s Bill…my date.”

 “But I thought you wanted us to set you up with Jamie?”

 “Umm…yeah I dp. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it later…I’m really late for this…thing. Promise I’ll tell you later…bye.”

 “B…” She hung up before you could even say goodbye. Now you were worried about your best friend. The last time the two of you talked, she couldn’t stop talking about Jamie and how perfect he was. You thought the two of them would be great together. This day just kept getting weirder by the minute. Maybe you should just go lay down and start the whole thing over again. The wind blew just then, making you realize how cold it actually was outside.

 Once inside you decided it wasn’t such a bad idea to just lay down and take a nap; so you crawled into your bed, the dogs following. They’re warm bodies felt good against your chilled bones as the three of you cuddled. You still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on with Tyler, but you tried to convince yourself that things would be fine. Closing your eyes, you let sleep take you. You weren’t sure how long you’d been asleep, but you woke up to Tyler gently shaking your dreaming form.

 “Babe…babe.” You blinked your eyes at him, trying hard to wake yourself from slumber.

 “Tyler?” You asked groggily. “What time is it?”

“It’s almost three o’clock.”

 “Mmmm. I didn’t realize I’d slept that long.” As you became fully awake, memories of the morning started to invade your fog filled brain. You sat up, trying to get out of the bed, but were trapped between Tyler and the dogs. “Umm…can you let me up?”

 “No.”

 “Ty, please. I just want…” You didn’t know what you were going to do, or where you were going to go; you just knew that you wanted to put some distance between yourself and Tyler.

 He brushed a stray lock of hair from your face, which made you flinch. “Baby, I’m sorry about earlier.” You turned your face from him, knowing you weren’t quite ready for this whole conversation. “Sweetheart, please look at me. I just want to talk to you.” A small tear ran down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away. “Baby please don’t cry.” The pleading tone in his voice broke you, and before you knew what was happening; he wrapped you in his arms and held you to his chest. “Sshh, baby it’s ok.” He rubbed small circles on your back, which calmed you.

 Once, you finally got ahold of your emotions you pulled back slightly from him. “Babe, don’t get mad; but I talked to Jenna.” You should’ve known she’d call and bitch him out; though you couldn’t be upset with her. She only ever had your best interest at heart. “I’m not cheating on you sweetie, I’m never going to do that again. You should know that by now.”

 “I do. It’s just…” You took a deep breath before continuing. “You’ve been so weird since you came home, and you were so insistent that I not go with you today. I didn’t know what else to think.” He ran his fingers through his hair, a habit he had when he needed a minute to think. “I didn’t want you to come with me, because I was trying to surprise you with this.” He reached down and grabbed a small bag that he had by the bed; then handed over to you. “I wanted to give this to you tomorrow night, but…” He trailed off, while you blushed at your foolish thoughts of him cheating on you.

 Nestled inside tissue paper was a black velvet box, which you knew contained something you didn’t deserve. “Ty I can’t.”

 “(Y/N) if you don’t open that box this instant, I swear I’ll take you over my knee right now.” You raised your eyes at him, at his veiled threat; which was somewhat tempting in and of itself. “Don’t look at me like that.” He smirked. “Ok, so that wasn’t a very good threat, but I’ll do something you won’t like at all.”

 A small giggle escaped your lips. “Well if you’re going to do ‘something I won’t like,’ I guess I better open this.” You lifted the lid on the velvet case. Inside lay a beautiful diamond pendant necklace. Small diamonds encircle two round cut stones; that then dropped down in to one large teardrop diamond. The teardrop diamond alone had to be three carats, not to mention the other stones that surrounded it. It literally stole your breath away. “Tyler, it’s too much.”

 “Do you like it?”

 “Like it! It’s breathtaking. I’ve never seen something so beautiful.”

 “Well it pales compared to you.” His words made you melt. You didn’t deserve this man. A few tears spilled out your eyes yet again; though this time they were happy ones. “I just wanted to give you something special for tomorrow night.”

 “Oh Tyler, I love it, but you didn’t need to do this; just being with you is enough.” Reaching over you planted a kiss on his lips. It wasn’t enough, this man deserved so much more; and he most definitely didn’t deserve your skepticism. You pulled back, to tell him this. “I’m so sorry I doubted you for even a minute Ty. I don’t deserve you.”

 “Babe, don’t worry about it. I mean I’m not happy, that that’s the first thing you thought of; but at the same time I didn’t really help my cause insisting you stay home, with Gerry.” You both looked over at the pup, who was over in the corner clearly trying to play fetch by himself. “He’s obviously not sick.” Both of you laughed at the lie which Tyler had used earlier. “So how about I put this on you?”

 He took the velvet box out of your hands, and started to take the necklace out of the package. “Wait…You wanted me to have this for tomorrow, maybe we should wait.”

 “I’d rather have you wear this and nothing else right now. Call it your punishment for making me give it to you early.” He wiggled his eyes suggestively at you.

 “Not that I mind that punishment at all, but don’t you have a game to get to soon?” He shrugged his shoulder, as if it didn’t matter. “And I haven’t made you dinner yet.”

 “I’d rather have dessert first.” He leaned over and kissed you passionately, before pulling away to put the necklace on you; then went and lifted the hem of your shirt. “Now, about that punishment part.”

 Tyler was a good fifteen minutes late in leaving for the game, but you both felt it was well worth any laps he’d have to do in practice the following morning. Luckily, you had another hour and half before you left to watch him play. The Stars were able to pull off a big win against the Oilers that night, which meant that everyone was in a good mood as you headed down to the tunnels. You were certain that everyone would want to go out and celebrate, considering the guys had the next three days off. However, everyone seemed to go their separate ways, and so you and Tyler headed home to just be with each other.

 The next day, Tyler headed out to practice; while you met up with Andrea and Alandra later in the day. The three of you spent a relaxing day at the spa, where you got facials, pedicures and manicures; as well as getting your hair and makeup done for the gala that night. You had originally wanted to wear your hair how Candace had suggested, half-up, half-down; but once Tyler bought you that stunning pendant you felt as if you should showcase it and pull all your hair up. The stylist put a braid on the right side, pulling it out to give it a fuller look. She then swept it behind your ear, while creating a low bun with the remaining hair she had curled. She took down a few tendrils to frame your face. When it came to your makeup, the artist decided to go with a soft smokey eye to give you a more natural look. She used a soft pale pink blush on the apples of your cheeks, with a few gloss drops to give you that fresh dewy look. As for your lips, she kept them simple as well, lining them with a soft pink color that complimented the lipstick she’d chosen. She topped it off with a shimmery gloss, which made your lips look totally kissable. Of course, you ended up buying the lip shades she used, as you were sure you were going to need to reapply it even before you left the house. When you looked in the mirror the overall effect of your makeup and hair looked absolutely stunning; and briefly you wondered if you and Tyler would even make it out of the house tonight.

 You hugged the girls goodbye, telling them you’d see them shortly; then headed home. Tyler had his head in the fridge, looking for something when you walked in the door, so it took him a moment to notice you. “Wow babe, you look amazing.”

 “Thanks, I totally think I’m just going exactly like this tonight.” You still had a pair of jeans, with a button down shirt on. Though you knew once you put your gown on, your look would be complete; right now your outfit didn’t quite fit.

 “You could wear a paper bag and be drop dead gorgeous.”

 “Keep talking like that Seguin, and we may not leave this house tonight.” You slid your hands up his chest, then kissed his lips with your glossed ones.

 He pulled away quicker than what you liked. “Well I better get my ass in the shower, before things get out of control here.” He kissed you again quickly. “Besides, I need to get myself cleaned up if I’m going to be standing next to you all night.” Reaching up you wiped the trace amount of lipstick off of his lips, before he headed off to your bedroom.

 You made your way upstairs and got the gown out of the spare closet and the garment bag it was in. It looked so beautiful just hanging there, and you couldn’t wait to put it on. You dabbed some perfume behind your ears, as well as on your neck and wrists; then for good measure you applied a touch to your cleavage for the end of the night. Finally you slipped the dress on and checked your reflection in the mirror. You still felt like royalty in it. Last but not least you slid into the pair of pumps that you had bought to go with it. There was just one finishing touch left and that was the elaborate necklace Tyler had bought for you. As you placed it around your neck, you truly had to question if Tyler had seen the gown, for they seemed made for each other. With one last look in the mirror you headed down the stairs to meet Tyler.

 He was standing in the foyer, fixing his cuff links when you walked downstairs. You took a moment to take the sight of him in. He was clad in a black suit, with a pristine white shirt. His vest was buttoned up and held in his black tie. Standing there, you couldn’t help but think of the first night you saw him. He was just as handsome that night as he was right now. It was easy to see how you fell in love with him, that first night. Visibly you shook yourself. Your movement caught his eyes and he looked up, his jaw going slack as he took in your appearance. “Ready to go?”

 It took him a moment before he answered you. “Woah…babe, I’m speechless.” He moved closer to the stairs as you neared the bottom. “You look….” He seemed to be searching for words. “Gorgeous doesn’t seem to cover it.”

 “You clean up pretty well yourself.” You added with a wink. His devilish smirk came out then. “Seriously Ty, I don’t think you’ve ever looked more handsome. Maybe the foundation needs to have more of these events.”

 “I think I’m going to have to agree with you there.” He was still struggling with his left cuff link and you grabbed his hand and adjusted it for him, while he still drank in your appearance. “Baby, you’re just so damn beautiful.”

 “Stop, you’re making me blush.”

 “I can’t help it. I just don’t know how l got so lucky?” You gave him a quick peck on the lips, wiping your lipstick off of him.

 “I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one here.” After everything that happened yesterday, you truly felt blessed that you and Tyler found your way back to each other. “Alright, we better get going or we’ll be late.”

 He glanced at his watch. “Right. I thought we’d take the Ferrari tonight, is that ok?”

 “Yeah that works.” The two of you headed out. With all the traffic it took a few extra minutes to get to the venue. You were surprised when you pulled up to the place where you first met. “I thought we’d be at the arena.”

 “Oh…ummm. I think it was booked or something, so they’re holding it here.” Tyler pulled up to the valet station and quickly jumped out of the car, so he could open your door instead of the attendant. He offered his hand to assist you out of the vehicle. You saw the appreciative glance the valet gave you as you emerged from the Ferrari. Apparently the dress concealed your baby bump more than you thought. Tyler glared at the young man, then slid his arm around your waist to draw you nearer.

 As you walked into the building you noticed it wasn’t as crowded as you thought it would be. Maybe Tyler had gotten the time wrong. “I think we’re in the ballroom.” Tyler stated as he led you through the building. When you entered the ballroom, there was no one in the room, save a lonely waiter finishing up the place settings at one of the tables.

 “Umm…what’s going on Ty?”

 “I don’t know.” He made his way over to the server. “Excuse me sir, is this the right room for the Fire and Ice event?”

 “Yeah, this is the right room.” The two of you surveyed the empty room before he said. “It’s just the event is tomorrow.” With those words he walked into the back room.

 “They gave you the wrong date?” Tyler shrugged.

 “They must have, though I was almost positive they told us today.”

 “Well Andrea and Alandra got ready with me, so they must think it’s today too. I should call them.” You flipped open your purse to search for your phone.

 “Babe, they’re probably already on their way here. Why don’t you just dance with me right now?”

 You look at him curiously. “Huh?”

 “Come on, you look so beautiful in that dress and this room looks amazing. I just want to dance with you.” He already grabbed your hand and was leading you out to where the dance floor was.

 “But there’s no music.”

 “We don’t need any.” He wrapped you up in his arms and started to hum lightly. The tune sounded vaguely familiar, though you couldn’t quite place it. You found yourself, swaying in his arms. He swept you into a grand turn, and soon you were twirling around the floor, to the light lilt of the piano. Piano, where did that come from? The two of you continued to dance, when suddenly you heard a voice break in.

 You steady me, slow and sweet we sway, take the lead and I will follow.

Finally ready now. To close my eyes and just believe that you won’t lead me where I don’t go.

When my faith gets tired and my hope seems lost.

You spin me round and round and remind me of that song,

The one you wrote for me,

And we dance…Oh we dance.

 You looked up into Tyler’s smiling face. “I know this song.”

 “You should, you sang it for months after we went to your cousin’s wedding.” It was true, the melody had stuck in your head and you would sing it when you were in the shower, or out in the kitchen getting dinner ready. But that was at least nine months ago, and you never thought Tyler was paying attention.

 “Where did the music come from?”

 He shrugged nonchalantly, but you could tell by the smirk on his face he had done this. “Just dance with me baby.” He twirled you again and you were lost in the rhythm of the music and the thrill of being in Tyler’s arms.

 And I’ve been told, to pick up my sword and fight for love.

Little did I know that love had won for me.

Here in your arms, you steal my heart again,

and I breathe you in like I’ve never breathed till now.

When my faith gets tired and my hope seems lost.

You spin me round and round and remind me of that song,

The one you wrote for me,

And we dance, oh, we dance.

Oh, oh we dance.

Oh, oh, oh we dance

Just you and me.

 The words of the song had always resonated with you, but never more so then in that moment. Just being in his arms moving around the dance floor, made you lose your heart all over again to him. As you looked up at his brilliant smile, he stole your breath away. It was just the two of you in that moment, and you knew then and there, that this was the only man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Not that you hadn’t had this thought before, it was just all clear now. You’d walk to the ends of the earth for this man, for you knew he’d do the same for you.

 And I will lock eyes with the one who’s ransomed me.

The one who gave me joy from mourning.

And I will love eyes with the one who’s chosen me.

The one who set my feet to dancing.

Oh we dance,

Oh we dance, we dance.

Oh we dance

Just you and me.

 Suddenly you wished you could bottle this moment and keep it with you forever, as you heard the words of the song coming to a close, for you didn’t want it to end. The two of you had been in the darks depths a relationship could go, but somehow you’d both fought and found the light; and now that you had everything in the world seemed perfect. You just wanted to stay in this dance with him for the rest of your life.

 The voice faded but the music continued as Tyler swayed back and forth with you in his arms. That’s when you noticed on stage there was a grand piano along with string quartet that you never noticed because you were so wrapped up dancing with the man you love. He slowed the two of you to a stop as the music played softly in the background; then he reached and entwined your hands together.

 “It’s only been a little over a year since I met you here, you know that?” You nodded your head, unsure of where this conversation was going. “But I knew that night, that someday I’d be standing in front of you just like I am now.” Goosebumps started to skate up your arms at his words. “This place is pretty special to us, because not only did we first meet here, it brought us back together…well that and this little one right here.” His eyes drifted to your concealed baby bump and you both smiled. His grip on your hands tighten as he continued. “I don’t tell you this near enough, but I love you (Y/N). There is no one else in this world for me.” Your eyes started to tear, as he professed his love for you. “When you left me…as you should have.” A small laugh escaped you. “I thought I was going to die. I knew then that I didn’t want to live a life without you in it. It was like I couldn’t even breathe because you weren’t beside me.” The tears you’d been struggling to hold back, started to fall freely now. He unlaced one of your hands and with his thumb brushed them away. “Stop babe, or you’re gonna make me cry too.” Through your weeping eyes, you could just see him trying to suppress his own tears.

 He took a deep breath in. “Anyhow…I knew if you ever gave me a chance again, I wouldn’t mess it up this time…and I swear to God I never will.” You smiled at him, hopefully letting him know that you’d never lose faith in him again, like you had yesterday. “You’re my everything; do you know that.” It wasn’t really a question, more of a statement; but you knew then and there that he was your all as well. “You’re my home, my shelter, the one I want to run to not only in the bad, but in the good as well. But most of all you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” You squeezed his hands back hoping to convey the words you couldn’t speak at the moment. “I realized in this last year that nothing, not hockey, not the money, not the house, none of it means anything; if I don’t have you to share it with. I love you with my whole being.” He dropped to one knee then, tears streaming down not only your face, but one or two fell from his. You swear your heart stopped beating. He let go of your one hand again and searched in his inside suit pocket. Franticly you swiped at the tears falling down your face, for you wanted to look into Tyler’s eyes without any obstruction.

 “I know I don’t deserve you (Y/N), but if you’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want us to be a family in every sense of the word.” He flipped open the jewelry case and in it lay the most exquisite diamond ring you’d ever laid eyes on. “(Y/F/M/L/N) would you do me the greatest honor I’ve ever had in my life, and marry me?” You were nodding yes, through a stream of tears now, as you tried to find your voice.

 “Yes, Ty, Yes.”

 He didn’t give you time to say anything more. He placed the ring on your shaking hand and then in one swift motion, he rose from the floor, lifting you off your feet at the same time. He kissed you then, and you melted into his arms; kissing him back pouring all the love you had for him into it. Reluctantly he pulled back. “Did you really just say yes?”

 Again, you nodded your head up and down. “Of course I said yes. Ty I love you so much. There is no one in this world I’d rather spend the rest of my life with, then you.” He still had you swept off your feet, and you had a feeling it would be that way from now until the end of time. You locked your eyes with his. “I can’t believe I get to be Mrs. Seguin, or that you did all this.”

 “I can’t wait to call you my wife, but there’s more.” You weren’t entirely sure you heard him correctly, so you quirked an eyebrow at him. “You guys can come out now.” He placed you on your feet, as the doors to the adjacent room opened and out came rushing all your family and friends.

 “Oh my god!” To say you were surprised was an understatement. They were all clapping and yelling congratulations. Your parents were the first at your side, enveloping you in a huge hug and offering you their congratulations. You were vaguely aware that Tyler’s whole family was doing the same to him. Two little hands latched on to your dress and you looked down to see your niece Rylynn holding on to you tightly. You lifted her up on your hip and she planted a kiss on your cheek.

 “Does this mean I get to be in your wedding?”

 You couldn’t help but laugh at her little request. “Of course you can sweetie. You’ll be the best flower girl there ever was.”

 “Yipee”

 Matt came over and took his joyful daughter out of your hands, while at the same time placing a kiss on your cheek. “Congratulations sis. That man is really in love with you.”

 “Oh my god, everything he said to you was so sweet.” Melissa added as she dabbed her eyes, through your hug.

 “Wait, you guys heard that?”

 “Yep, and watched it too.” Sean added leaning to offer his congratulation.

 “But how?”

 “That’s a question you’re going to have to ask your fiancé.” Jessica told you.

 “I might have an idea how it happened. Congratulations bestie!” Your best friend Jenna added as she squeezed you.

 “Wait, did you help him with this?”

 “Me and a bunch of others, but there’s a microphone in that chandelier right there.” You looked up to find it, glancing through the sparkling crystals, trying to find the tiny device. “There’s also hidden cameras all over here. And while there was a bunch of us that helped, it was all Tyler’s idea.”

 You gave Jenna one more hug, and thanked her for everything. There were still tons of people around wanting to wish you well, but you needed to say somethings to your fiancé. He wasn’t more than five feet from you, so you turned towards him. Automatically, his arm went around your waist to draw you close to him. Standing on your tip-toes you reached up and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek. His mom was still standing there. “I’m so happy for you two. You’re just so perfect.” She was crying as she grabbed you and hugged you hard. Softly she whispered in your ear, so only you could hear her. “Thank you for loving my baby boy. I know that it hasn’t been easy at times, but I couldn’t ask for anyone better for him to spend the rest of his life with than you.” More tears came rushing down at her words.

 You couldn’t find the words to tell her how much what she just said meant. Finally you whispered back, “I promise to love him with all I have.” She released you then, only to be replaced by Candace and Cassidy. In that moment you realized, you weren’t going to get a moment alone with Tyler until later in the night. Both his sisters were so happy, for you; and you couldn’t be more excited to have them as your actual sisters soon.

 Jamie, was the next person to find you, kissing your cheek in congratulations; before he slapped his best friend on the back. “So, he’s finally going to make an honest woman out of you; about time Seggy, because I was all ready to swoop in.”

 “Don’t even think about it Chubbs, she’s definitely spoken for now.” Tyler held up your left hand to show him the ring, while you just shook your head in laughter. It was one person after the next for the following hour, wishing both you and Tyler well. It wasn’t until you were back on the dance floor, alone in Tyler’s arms before you got a chance to ask him the question you’d been dying to know, since talking to your best friend.

 “Ty, I can’t believe you did all this for me? Jenna said there are even cameras somewhere around here. How in the world did you do this?”

 “Well it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it; you’re worth it.” You knew that none of this would’ve been easy to pull off and you couldn’t wait to hear how he did it all.

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 6/? (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to  Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for   escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget   her ex. Neither of them are expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. (Previous parts: 1 2 3 4 5)

Author’s Notes: Another week, another chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it and as always, feedback is appreciated.

Wordcount: 3375

Warnings: smutish (dirty talk; powerplay; choking; lots and lots of teasing)

Keanu blinked blearily and confused as he looked around his room, trying to figure out what had woken him up this early. His brain was still dazed, his movements sluggish as he followed the noise, hand finally landing on his cellphone which had found its way under the bed somehow.

The sight of Steph’s name flashing across the screen finally kickstarted his brain and he rushed to answer the call, getting caught in a yawn as the facetime call connected.

“Shit! I woke you up. I’m sorry.” She winced, her tone apologetic and he smiled, waving off her apologies.

“It’s fine,” Keanu replied, voice still thick with sleep as he settled back on the pillows. “I needed to get up anyway.”

When Keanu had left Steph’s house the night he went to pick up his bike, he once again thought that would be the end of this thing they had. He hated himself for walking away, even after she cleared up the entire thing with Kevin, but he really thought it would be for the best.

He was falling in love with her way too hard and that was a problem. She was his client and nothing more. Or at least that was what Keanu tried to tell himself until the night he got home after a meeting a client and found a voicemail from Steph. He had no idea how she got her number, but her ramblings on how much she missed him warmed his heart, right until the part the call disconnected suddenly, and Keanu was left wondering if Steph was alright.

Panic only grew when she didn’t reply to his calls or texts and he was already looking up ways to find out where she was staying when Steph finally called back, letting him know she was fine. There were a handful of times Keanu felt that kind of sheer relief in his life and all of them associated with people he loved with all his heart. As if he needed any more proof of his own feelings. The ones he was running from for the past two months.

However, Keanu decided he was done running and that was what made him call her again later. To make sure she was feeling better and make it clear that what he had with her, it wasn’t something he did with just anyone. Keanu might be an escort, but not all money in the world could make him care for someone as he cared for her and he needed Steph to know that.

Admitting to it was liberating and the facetime calls became a routine for them. At least once a day they would talk, share about their day; chat about stupid things, everything and nothing and all in between.

Steph would send random texts throughout the day, pictures of stuff she thought he would find funny. While Keanu would send the things about home he knew she loved and missed.

It was a very welcome change in their… relationship? Friendship?  Keanu had no idea how to call it, but for the first time, he knew it was completely real. There was no money involved. No strings attached, no confusion due to sex. Though he really missed the mind-blowing sex they had, strangely enough, a month of this, talking every day and joking and trying to watch Netflix together even though there were an ocean and several timezones separating them and Steph seemed to have zero self-control and would always watch an episode or two without him was proving to be even more fulfilling. Even if it meant waking up at crack of dawn to talk to Steph when she was coming back from a whole day of shooting like she was now.

Keanu took a moment to really look at her, drinking the sight of her, no makeup, her hair pulled up and away from her face with the exception of a lock of hair that must have gotten loose and was falling over her big brown eyes. To him, she would never look more beautiful and Keanu felt the proverbial butterflies on his stomach as he watched her.

“You look tired,” Steph commented, disappearing off-screen a second before two soft thuds reached his ears. Probably her boots hitting the carpeted floor. “Long night?”

“Yeah. Got home around 2 a.m.,” Keanu said, scratching his five o’clock shadow. He had been toying with the idea of growing a beard, but Mike, their producer, shot the idea down. It wasn’t the look they were going for.

Steph only hummed noncommittally, her brow furrowing ever so slightly as she looked away and Keanu smirked, his heart picking up speed because he knew that look very well. He spotted that look several times through the last few weeks whenever any magazine or gossip site splashed pictures of Steph and her handsome co-star along with rumors of them dating.

“Dogstar had a gig,” he explained, making her look up startled. “Our first paying one. I mean, it barely covered gas, but still…”

“That’s amazing, Ke!” Her grin was blinding, and his heart did a little flip in his chest. He was head over heels of this woman and there was no point in denying anymore. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” he replied, ducking his head a little as he felt his cheeks warm. “Maybe you can come to one of them when you get back.”

“I’d love to,” Steph grinned, picking up the phone and moving through the room. The image shook for a bit before it stabilized again and Keanu could no longer see her, only the white tiles of the bathroom. “We still have another month to go. Next week we’re flying back to Paris for some additional scenes. I’ve always wanted to spend my birthday there, but I didn’t think I’d be alone.”

“Where are you?” Keanu asked, scanning the frame, hearing her giggle before her face showed up again, but sideways.

“I’m changing,” she replied.

“So? Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Keanu pointed out with a smirk and Steph rolled her eyes but came fully into view.

She had taken her sweater off and stood there in jeans and her bra and Keanu could already feel his body responding to the sight of all her gorgeous skin. Her hands fell to her buttons, undoing them so damn slowly he wished he could push them away and do it himself.

Steph turned her back on him before pushing the jeans down, actually giving her ass a little wiggle to shimmy out of them and Keanu groaned, his boxers tight over his growing erection.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he complained, rubbing himself and she had the gall to look over her shoulder with her best ‘who? Me?’ look, complete with that big doe eyes and pout and Keanu chuckled. “You were saying something about your birthday.”

“Yeah,” she said, her expression softening a little as she sat on the edge of the tub and turned the faucet on. “It’s the big three-oh and I’ll be here all by myself.” Steph shrugged. “I mean, sure Vincent is taking me to dinner and I appreciate it, but none of my friends will be here. The real ones at least…”

Keanu bit his cheek to keep himself from reacting to the mention of Vincent. It wasn’t that he was jealous, he just… Who was he kidding? It was exactly because he was jealous, but it wasn’t enough to divert his attention from what really mattered. How sad she looked at the prospect of spending her birthday without her true friends.

“When is it again?” he asked, an idea popping in his head. A terrible, unbelievably crazy idea.

---

Keanu paced the room with quick steps, desperately needing to work out some of the nervous energy thrumming through his body and movement had always been the way he did it. Be it by waving his hands around when he was speaking or bouncing his knee or walking around.

Moving his body always had a soothing effect in his mind for some reason and tonight he needed all his strategies to calm himself because if this crazy plan of his backfired, Keanu really didn’t know what he would do.

He had always been an impulsive guy, making decisions without thinking them through. It was what took him to Los Angeles; it was what almost killed him in that mountainside years ago. And now it was what could completely ruin the best relationship Keanu had in a long time.

What if Steph didn’t like the surprise? What if she thought he was crazy for flying all the way to Paris on her birthday without telling her? Yes, she said she wished her real friends could be here to celebrate with her, but it was Keanu who assumed he was included in that category. What if he was wrong? What if he was in love with her, but she wasn’t? What if…

The sound of the phone made him jump and Keanu nearly stumbled on his own feet trying to get it, answering with a quick hello.

“I delivered the envelope, Mr. Reeves,” the concierge spoke, his accent thick and making his words almost indecipherable. “She’s on her way up.”

“Thank you.”

His hands shook as he hung up and hurried through the process of lighting up the candles and dimming the lights, before coming to sit on the edge of the bed, fighting off the urge of bouncing his feet as the minutes ticked by with no sign of her. He adjusted his collar, feeling a little breathless.

What if she went to her own room instead? What if she thought it was some kind of mean joke or a trap from the press? What if she didn’t come at all?

Keanu’s heart lunged in his chest at the low chime of the electronic lock and he got to his feet, coming face to face with a stunned Steph. She stood there for a moment, eyes wide, mouth hanging open and he forced a small, awkward smile.

“Happy birthday?” he said with hesitation, wondering if she hated the surprise until her face shifted into a smile and she all but threw herself on his arms.

Keanu breathed out a sigh of relief, cradling her close to his body, nose buried into her head, breathing in the familiar scent of strawberries. He missed her more than he first realized.

“I thought maybe…” she started, pulling back a little and looking at Keanu with eyes full of wonder and affection. “When you asked me about my birthday, but you didn’t say anything else, I thought it was just wishful thinking, but you’re here.”

“Yeah,” Keanu smiled, resting his forehead against hers. “Is that ok?”

“It’s the best birthday present I could hope for,” Steph said, her lips pulling into a grin. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

Keanu cupped her cheek, tracing her face with his thumb, almost as if trying to recommit her features to memory. It wasn’t the same, seeing her through facetime. It didn’t do her justice.

Her hands crossed behind his neck, fingers playing with his hair, massaging his scalp and Keanu tried not to tense as they came way too close to his secret, but since she didn’t seem to notice, he just sighed happily, leaning into the touch for a second, before bending his head and meeting her lips for a kiss, something he was longing for weeks.

Their lips molded perfectly together, finding their rhythm with barely any effort; their tongues moving against one another, tasting and exploring, relearning each other as their hands found their way under their clothes, searching warm skin and familiar curves.

Keanu struggled to get her out of her coat and scarf while her hand moved over his crotch, rubbing him through his jeans and groaned against her lips, getting lost in the feel of it before pulling back and catching her hand.

“I’ve got you a cake,” he announced, and Steph chuckled and nodded, letting Keanu move away from her and lead the way to the table.

Her small gasp at the sight of the black forest mini cake made Keanu grin proudly as Steph glanced from the sugary treat and back at him.

“How did you know it was my favorite?” she asked, and he just shrugged, trying for nonchalant, but feeling so stupidly happy for having put that happy smile on her face. He had googled it like a stalker, but her expression was definitely worth it.

He pulled a chair out for her with one hand, while the other dug through his pocket for the candle and lighter. To Keanu’s surprise, Steph pushed him on the seat and got on his lap, making sure to squirm and wiggle over his cock, dragging out a grunt from him.

“Fucking tease,” he complained, making her chuckle.

“Careful there, Ke. If you keep using that kinda language, I’ll have to gag you,” Steph warned, giving him a sideways smirk. “Or maybe just put that mouth to better use.”

“Cake first” Keanu reminded, arms coming around her to set the candle between the two decorative cherries before lighting it up. “Then you can tie me and gag me and whatever else you want.”

“Is that a promise?” Steph asked her voice low, sounding almost dangerous as she turned sideways on his lap so she could look at him and Keanu gulped, a shiver running down his spine at the look in her eyes.

“Yes,” he replied, meeting her gaze.

Had any woman ever made him feel like this before? Get him this hot and horny with just one look and a couple of suggestive words? Keanu was pretty sure the answer to that was a no. Steph had just a way of turning him on or making him learn things about himself that he never thought it would be possible. It was liberating and that was why he got her that present in the first place. If it wasn’t for Steph, Keanu would never know how much he wanted to try that with her.

At last, Steph turned her attention to the cake in front of her, arching her eyebrow at him Keanu and with a small blush, he sang her happy birthday, his voice low and unsteady. He had no idea why he felt shy about that, but he did.

“You’ve got a nice voice, babe,” she said kissing his cheek.

“I really don’t.” Keanu ducked his head and chuckle. “Anyway, make a wish.”

There was a moment of silence and Steph leaned over, blowing the candle, before turning on Keanu’s lap until she was straddling him and catching his lips in a hungry kiss, rolling her hips tantalizingly and he moaned against her mouth, his cock throbbing and pulsing in his jeans.

“Aren’t you…?”

“Later,” she cut him off, lips traveling over his jaw until she caught his earlobe between them, sucking lightly and pleasure shot through Keanu, his hands tightening over her thighs almost at their own accord. “Right now, I just you to fuck me.”

Keanu tensed for a second, hesitant and unsure of what he was about to propose. Steph felt it and pulled back, giving him a worried look.

“Something’s wrong?”

“No…” he breathed out, brushing away the hair from her face and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “I just… got you something.”

“You didn’t have to, Ke,” she hurried to say, and he thought he saw her flush. “Just the fact that you flew all the way here…”

“I wanted to…” he assured, patting her leg gently so she would stand up and he could move to his suitcase and get it.

Keanu hesitated, back turned to her, box in his hands. He took another breath, before facing Steph again and handing it to her. It was a simple black rectangular box, wrapped with a blue bow. Steph pulled it loose and opened the lid, frowning at its contents.

“A chain?” she asked with a confused frown, looking up at him.

“A-uh leash, actually,” Keanu explained, swallowing hard as he unbuttoned the first couple buttons of his shirt, exposing the leather collar around his neck and Steph gasped, staring at him with wide eyes. “Is this ok?”

“Ke… I…” she stuttered, meeting his gaze again. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, his smile a little hesitant, but very hopeful. “I thought a lot about it and… I never came as hard jerking off as when I was picturing this. I want it.”

She watched him for a moment as if trying to spot a lie in his statement or stance and he fought the urge to squirm under her scrutiny. Keanu knew Steph just wanted to make sure he wasn’t just trying to please her, which he was, to an extent, but this was about him as much as it was about her.

Finally, she moved closer to him, eyes never leaving his as she undid the rest of the buttons and pushed the shirt off his shoulders before caressing his chest, slowly making her way to the black band circling his neck.

Her small fingers ran over the edge gently, before she slipped one finger under the collar, making it tighter and Keanu swallowed hard, shuddering at the feel of it restraining his breathing just a little, making him gasp.

“Oh, babe…” Steph whispered, voice low and sultry as she petted his cheek. “You really like this, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am.” It still amazed Keanu how quickly he slipped into this whenever she used that tone with him. It was almost a pavlovian reaction by now.

“Then who am I to deny you?” she smirked at him, crooking her finger and tugging lightly on the collar and Keanu followed the motion, bending his head closer to her. Being rewarded with a dirty, searing kiss. “Especially when you’ve been such a good boy.”

She let go of him and took a step back, once again just watching him, lip between her teeth, her eyes dark and full of want.

“You look so beautiful like this, Ke,” Steph said, and he felt his cheeks heating up in embarrassment, so he ducked his head, dodging her eyes and shifting in place, hands clasped together in front of his body. “And you’re blushing? That’s so sweet.”

“Please…” his voice was low, pleading.

Not only he didn’t like being complimented like that, but his body felt like was about to combust and he was so hard it was getting painful. He couldn’t wait anymore. Keanu just wanted her. Almost desperately.

She smiled at him and nodded, moving closer once again and turning her back to him, exposing the zipper of her dress.

“Go ahead.”

He pulled it down slowly, the fabric parting to reveal her back and the purple lace of her bra. Keanu pulled the zipper all the way it would go, before pushing the straps of the dress off her shoulders, letting his lips graze over her nape and smiling lightly when goosebumps rose on her skin.

“I don’t remember allowing you to touch,” Steph chided softly, turning around to look at him and Keanu groaned at the sight before him. She was so damn beautiful.

“Sorry ma’am,” he mumbled, head down.

“No, you’re not.” She smirked.

She grabbed the chain from the box, before clasping it on the metal link on the collar and tugging on it tentatively. Keanu gasped and moaned at the feel of it, the way it tightened and led his movements. His cock twisted inside his pants, making his stumble forward even more uncomfortable.

With her free hand, Steph undid his jeans, shoving it down his hips and clicking her tongue at his lack of underwear. Keanu couldn’t care for anything except the relief of finally having his erection free.

“Someone’s eager,” she teased, pulling on the leash again with one hand, while the other stroked his cock and Keanu’s brain short-circuited at the combination of sensations.

Steph swallowed his moans in another kiss before she nipped on his bottom lip and pulled back to look at his dazed, unfocused eyes.

“This is gonna be fun.”

xx(tbc) xxx

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[seyaryminamoto]

Hello, another anon. I read 123 and was taken aback by the bad memories. But it surpsised me to see that Sokka still feel bad about it. It was wrong but to me Sokka never was the guy who would just sleep around just to have fun and show "manliness" with everyone. With a strenger especially. Or would he? Imean you know him better of course:). But that situation was completely different he couldn't even think straight. Poor guy still feels bad. What do you think about his act back then?

As a writer, as much backlash as that particular decision has garnered me, I stand by it to this day and I see no reason not to: Sokka, at the time, isn’t in the right state of mind, like you said, and his feelings for Azula aren’t yet at the stage where he truly loves her, not as he does after all the ordeals they face together later in the story. He does have feelings for her, is very much attracted to her, but he hardly knows her properly at the time: he thinks she’s manipulating him, playing with his feelings to her benefit, pretty much. And in a rebellious bout, like many of those we see from him through the story, Sokka decides he won’t let her walk all over him anymore.

This, of course, backfires because Azula is actually far more human, and way more attached to him, than he knew. His remorse for his mistakes is genuine, and pretty much everlasting because, in a reckless bid to protect himself from her, he ended up hurting her far more with his actions than she hurt him with that spiteful comment after their first kiss (which is what drives him to think she was just messing with his head). So yep, up until chapter 123, Sokka is still regretting what he did, even though Azula doesn’t even hold it against him anymore by then. He hates having hurt her, for he knows he misjudged her and jumped to the wrong conclusions about Azula without giving her a chance to explain herself, without offering her the benefit of the doubt if just for a moment. The more he grew to love her in later chapters, and the more he understood her as their bond deepened, the more he hated himself for having hurt her when he did. Therefore, at the point where you’re at, where it’s safe to say he knows her better than anyone, he is all the more unforgiving of himself because he genuinely loves her now, willingly, with eyes open, completely aware of who she is and what’s in her heart, and he trusts her with his life. He’s all the more protective of her now and truly hates that he hurt her so badly when he did, despite even Azula thinks he ought to be more forgiving with himself.

Now, though... one thing I do want to say, that I think some of the people who are bothered by this situation kind of have glossed over before, is that Sokka actually isn’t 100% in control of the situation in the pub. For starters, he may not be drunk to the point of incoherence but he’s not of the soundest mind either. He’s also still really angry and bitter about how things went down with Azula, and mixing that with the drunkenness couldn’t possibly yield a positive result. Furthermore, and I’d say most importantly... June wasn’t just some eyelash-batting fangirl like Hina who was starstruck by Sokka: June saw a guy who didn’t look completely repulsive, talked to him about his problems and offered a solution for him that she made the most of.

My point is... June was the instigator, not Sokka. June has agency of her own as a character, and she is responsible for what happened just as much as Sokka is. Hadn’t June showed up when she did, talked with him and suggested her twisted idea, Sokka wouldn’t have been likely to sleep with anyone at all that night. Would this have been better? Possibly. But what June did was poised with one very specific, even outright-stated-on-text purpose in mind: for Sokka to unleash his frustrations and, if it didn’t work (which, let’s not forget, it didn’t), for him to start wrapping his head around the fact that he might be in love with a woman he didn’t want to be in love with. Without June’s meddling, some of the heartache wouldn’t be quite so painful and there’s no denying that. But without it, Sokka probably would have refused to accept he had feelings for Azula, he might not have confronted her that night and even if he did, the outcome might not have been the same: there’s a chance he wouldn’t have grown to understand her any better, that he would have taken even LONGER than he did to realize Azula wasn’t just messing around with him, that she actually cared about him. And if it feels the story is already ridiculously long, just imagine how much longer it could have been if he had spent longer than two chapters refusing to understand that Azula actually wanted him the same way he wanted her :’) 

Point being, there was a storytelling purpose to this development. And it wasn’t a pretty development, why lie, but it was, I believe, a necessary one considering the circumstances of Azula and Sokka’s partnership: they did start out as enemies. They were reluctant allies working together with their own agendas later on. They probably wouldn’t even have thought of each other as friends even at their early scene together in chapter 26. There was very little trust between them -- Sokka especially distrusted Azula --, and they hadn’t learned enough about each other, they didn’t understand each other enough yet, to have a decent relationship with each other. While this was a harsh setback to their partnership, it’s ironically also a way to kickstart it: at chapter 30, after Azula breaks down in tears in his arms, Sokka FINALLY gets it: she wasn’t messing around, she genuinely was interested in him romantically. And after this, he changes. After this, he’s no longer as merciless towards Azula as he was before. He no longer judges her so harshly, and he makes efforts to understand her. Why? Because of everything I’ve said up here :D

So... “Sokka never was the guy who would just sleep around just to have fun and show "manliness" with everyone”? Why, no, I wouldn’t think he would be that kind of guy, and that’s not how the story ever portrayed him either. Some people may have that interpretation of him, but I, personally, don’t. And I’d think Gladiator should speak for itself, it’s certainly on me if it doesn’t, but to put matters into perspective, if I had been writing Sokka as the kind of guy you described up there, he wouldn’t have been so horrified in the aftermath of his encounter with June in chapter 28. I don’t know if I failed to portray it right, but all along, the idea was to show that he didn’t enjoy what happened between them at all, to the point where June was even exasperated over his apologies and remorse (I even talked about how Gladiator!Sokka hadn’t ever truly enjoyed sex until he had it with Azula on this other ask, which I answered recently). 

As for showing off what he’d done as if it were a sign of “manliness”, well, if he thought sleeping around was a badge of honor, he probably would have boasted about it at some point through the almost-100 chapters between the big debacle and the chapter you’re on right now. Heck, he probably would have flirted with every woman in sight and tried to sleep with them without a care in the world if he was the kind of guy who thinks sleeping around makes him a manlier man. Instead, he only feels guilt, remorse and shame for what he did. He takes zero pride in his actions that day and constantly talks about it as one of his biggest mistakes. Once they ran into June in the arc you’re on, he kept falling silent and deferring to Azula’s judgment in every regard except for when it came to her threats to “torture” Jeong Jeong’s goons, because he believed that if she still felt any resentment towards him over their crisis with June, it was warranted and no less than he deserved (despite, as is revealed later, Azula was blowing matters out of proportion for more complicated reasons than Sokka realized at first). Does that sound like a guy who’s proud of his actions, who thinks it reasserts his masculinity somehow to have gotten involved with someone on a very questionable whim...? I honestly hope it doesn’t.

Now, as the one-track-mind shipper I am...? You can bet I absolutely didn’t enjoy writing that scene, not in the least. Ironically, Sokka’s trick to keep going (imagining June was Azula) was also my trick to keep going: the reason that scene’s writing was ambiguous, as though he were having some sort of hate-sex session with Azula when it’s NOT her, was because it was the only way I could get through the scene at all. So, as a writer, I stand by what I wrote. As a fangirl with too many feels, I hate the scene despite understanding why it was necessary :’) I don’t think I’d ever admitted that before, but it’s the truth. Part of a writer’s job includes working with elements and situations in a story that you might not be comfortable with, that you absolutely wouldn’t condone or approve of (I mean... slavery in general?? I write about it, doesn’t mean I support it in any capacity even if I think it’s believable for Ozai’s Fire Nation to enslave people...), but that are part of the story nonetheless. 

Storytelling can be done for fluffy and happy reasons exclusively, and there’s a lot of fics that are like that, but Gladiator is a fic with a huge plot comprised by a ton of tinier plot threads, dealing with serious subjects and themes of many sorts. And if I’m going to do it justice, I can’t shy away from the darkness of my characters, the terrible mistakes they can make or the hard-earned redemption they can obtain after working their asses off to amend them. Azula’s decision to turn Sokka into a slave could be judged just as harshly as Sokka’s mistakes have been judged by many readers, and she should be condemned for it on the same capacity, if not more so: there’d be no story altogether if she hadn’t made this mistake, however. They both have wronged each other, it’s the truth, but they have done their damnedest to atone for their actions once they truly understood how wrong they were.

I don’t think highly of myself as a writer these days, haven’t in ages, but I know I’d think even less of myself if I only ever played it safe and stuck to the storytelling beats everyone demands and expects from stories. The majority of Part 2 is, in fact, a gamble I silently made with Gladiator’s readerbase to find out what would happen if I didn’t simply fall into the typical structure expected from stories like mine. What if I actually show my readers what a solid, healthy, strong relationship between Azula and Sokka works like in practice, instead of immediately resorting to tearing them apart barely a few chapters after they got together for conflict’s sake?

... Of course, that particular experiment didn’t have an unanimous result either, and just like chapter 28, I may have alienated thousands of people by making the creative decision I did for the entirety of Part 2. And yet the story, in my personal opinion, wouldn’t be half of what it is if I’d made a different choice! Sooo... *shrug* what can I tell ya, Anon. Writing is hard. Writing means making tough choices your readers won’t understand sometimes. Writing means making yourself cry happy/sad tears at 2 AM because you nearly killed half of your OTP and it’s tearing you to shreds deep inside :’D and while I categorically refuse to say I’ve made all the right choices for Gladiator, I think the story would be infinitely lesser than it is if I wasn’t willing to give my characters hardships and complications they can learn to overcome, no matter how painful they might be.

(Otherwise, heh, there would be no Part 3, soooo...)

[tessatechaitea]

Batman #442

Can you believe thirty years ago, DC was trying to convince a bunch of adults that it was okay to read their kiddy mags?

There wasn't this much sexual tension in the last porn I watched.

This is my reputation on the line so I'd just like to point out that the above scanned panel is all off-kilter because the entire stupid page was wonky. I fucking scan like a champ! Meanwhile, Two-Face struggles to set off the explosives in the basement where Batman and Nightwing are trapped. First he needs to argue with himself about how to flip the coin. Does he catch it and flip it over onto the back of his hand? Well, to decide that, he's going to have to flip the coin. But if he's yet to decide how to flip the coin, how does he flip the coin to decide how to flip the coin?! It's a wonder Two-Face ever comes to any conclusive decision at all! I'm suddenly realizing he's Batman's least believable nemesis! And Batman sometimes fights a guy with eyes on all his fingers! Two-Face flips his coin (I suppose he's long ago figured out the procedure for coin flipping. I bet getting stuck on how to flip the coin meant he got his ass beat by Batman one too many times. Being a lawyer, he realized he needed to be prepared for pressure situations like this). The results allow him to blow up Batman and Nightwing. But he still has to wait until 2 in the morning. Or 2:02? Maybe 2:20? 2:22? I guess this time, 2:00 A.M. is fine. And being that Tim mentioned earlier that it was almost two, it looks like it's over for Bruce and Dick! But wait! Help is on the way!

If Alfred and Tim are doing what I think Alfred and Tim are doing, who's driving?!

Tim puts on Robin's suit not because he's been stalking Batman for six years and he's desperate to become the new Robin but because he has to! To save Batman's emotional psyche! It's the most unselfish thing Tim Drake has ever done! It's not like he knew at this moment that he'd eventually get to fuck Stephanie Cluemaster! That was just a reward for being so selfless! I mean Stephanie Cluemaster has agency and her sexuality isn't anybody's trophy! Also Tim is just thirteen and it's 1989 so he probably doesn't know how to have sex. You can only glean so much from MTV and the occasional nudie magazine dredged up in the bushes outside the local high school. I mean, I was pretty sure I knew how to have sex when I was thirteen from watching Lionel Richie's video for "Hello." Seriously though, I have no idea when I went from not knowing what sex was to knowing what it was. I remember seeing Clash of the Titans at the theater when I was ten and not knowing what a virgin was. So I probably didn't know what sex was at ten. It's also probable I knew at ten but just didn't know there was a word for what I am. I mean was! At ten! But by twelve, my friend Hobby Benline had had sex, so I must have known what it was by then. Unless he did it wrong and I got the information from him! Really though, I just don't know where the information came from. I think it must have just sort of condensed inside my head from a whole bunch of disparate notions and experiences.

This fucker is crazy.

Some of you Internet denizens who probably overuse the word "meh" (overuse constitutes a single use) are probably furiously typing, "You just realized that?!" Obviously I knew Two-Face was crazy! That's the whole point of all Batman's villains or else why would Arkham Kiddy-Care be a thing? But that little speech he just gave is really fucking overplaying the whole double thing! I thought maybe he was going to get all excited about the two nines in 1899 or how 1899 is sort of two 18s or maybe he was going to marvel about how he has two grandfathers! This fucker is finding twos every Goddamned where! You can tell Marv Wolfman doesn't write too many Two-Face story because across three Batman issues, he's really blown his wad on finding ways to incorporate the doubling theme. Alfred and Tim arrive just in the nick of time to see the house explode. Tim punches Two-Face in the jaw but only once so it doesn't hurt him. That's what happens when you jump right into the Robin costume without learning about the criminal you're after. Two-Face manages to pick up a crowbar to swing at Tim's head while Alfred can only watch while shitting himself and thinking, "Why the fuck can't I keep the number of a child psychologist on hand at all times?!"

The face of a man culpable for the deaths of too many children's innocence. And also just their deaths. Real deaths. Of children. One at least. Maybe now two. Fucking monster.

Robin manages to jump out of the way without mouthing off which makes Two-Face suspect something is different with Robin. He's all, "Where are all your terrible jokes, Boy Wonder?" And since we know there's an afterlife in the DC Universe, Jason Todd hears Two-Face's critique of his one-liners and his heart hardens. That's why he comes back willing to kill. Alfred finally jumps in to stop Two-Face from killing Tim while yelling, "He's only a boy!" No fucking shit, Pennyworth. Maybe you should have considered that before you allowed Bruce to never get therapy so that he eventually begins wearing a batsuit which eventually leads him to bringing in a young boy to help fight murderers which eventually led him to bringing in another young boy who was killed fighting murderers which eventually led to you driving this "only a boy" to the feet of a murderer while also lending him a superhero outfit to die in. Fuck you, Alfred! You fucking suck. I actually really like Alfred! But fuck is he problematic!

Jesus Christ, Alfred! Code names, you putz!

Alfred is making me so angry this issue! I hope Batman fires him at the end of this. He needs some time off to get his head together. Enough with being an accessory to child endangerment! Tim helps dig out Batman and Nightwing who both survived Two-Face's terrible explosives. I guess BOGO explosives aren't too reliable. And since it was Two-Face, if one of them survived, both of them had to survive. It's part of Two-Face's rules of conduct. Batman sees Robin and tears the mask off of his face, declaring there is no more Robin. But Dick and Alfred are all, "You should have seen him! He's so smart and agile and he's got terrific legs!" But Batman is apparently the only sensible one in this fucking bunch of child-murdering lunatics.

Look, I know how this ultimately turns out. But at least for one panel, I can think, "Way to go, Batman. Good decision! I'm proud of you!"

Tim is all, "Batman needs a Robin!" And Batman is all, "Fuck you!" But then Tim counters with, "What if The Joker brags about killing Robin and everybody is all, 'Hey, yeah. Where is Robin?! Man, we can kill anybody now, I guess!'" And Batman is all, "Well, I mean, it's dangerous work!" And Robin is all, "I know! That was your initial reason to not let me be Robin!" And Batman is all, "Well, I'm not hiring right now! I need to catch Two-Face! He's gotten away!" And Robin is all, "I put a tracker on him!" And Alfred and Nightwing are smiling and elbowing each other and winking and not saying at all, "Batman is going to get this kid killed!" Finally, Batman relents and agrees to discuss it because he's argued against it long enough to make it seem reasonable. Fans can't say Batman just gave in! It was an emotional debate that sorely tested my reading comprehension. Such powerful arguments on both sides! With minimal help from Robin (but enough for Batman's heart to melt), Two-Face is captured!

Later in, presumably, Alfred's bedroom.

Batman eventually relents and decides to train Tim on a trial basis. I guess all of the arguments convinced me as well. Batman totally needs a Robin! How else would, um, Batman do the, um, thing or the other, um, I mean, he just needs Robin! Duh! Batman #442 Rating: C. This issue wasn't really any worse than the others but somehow I can't bring myself to believe Dick and Alfred would be so excited about getting Batman a new Robin. I guess it's like when a friend loses a pet and you have to watch your friend spiral into a severe depression and you don't know how to make them feel better and finally the only thing you can think to do is to buy them a new pet. Then you're happy and giggly and excited when you see the way your friend's eyes light up even if they act like they resent the attempt at making them feel better. And you know the pet is going to quickly worm its way into their heart and you don't care that your friend often throws their pet off of high bridges attached to home-made parachutes because you're not thinking about the safety of the pet at this moment. Your whole purpose is just to make your friend feel better. And that's whey Alfred and Nightwing are so happy putting Tim's life in danger. Because they love Batman that much!

[pixiedane]

book anon again - neat, yeah, I totally get it getting too complicated. I still haven't made it past the Destiny trilogy for the same reason. I'd say Resistance is worth reading too; it's between Death in Winter and Q&A. But oh my god Beverly/Picard was my first OTP and I will never not have Emotions about them - I've thought a bit about what we could have had if they actually got together at some point during the show, any ideas/headcanons for that? ^^

Hello book anon :) YES, I can certainly share that. 

PART ONE, Canon Compatible

Season 1:Their interactions in “Encounter At Farpoint” and “The Naked Now” make them feel awkward so they avoid falling into any intimacy until “Justice”. But after he puts everything on the line for her son, she shows up at his doorstep to express her deep gratitude. They get very close to sex but he feels like it’s a reward and that’s all wrong and puts on the breaks. But their very next adventure, “The Battle”, has Picard reliving his experiences on the Stargazer and it’s incredibly traumatic. He ends up on her doorstep, but this time she aborts anything too physical because he’s in the wrong headspace. They go back to awkward which becomes doubly awkward at “Haven” because a marriage is a reminder of Jack Crusher and that episode makes ’soulmates’ a thing and that idea makes them both morose. But! Here comes “The Big Goodbye” where it is pretty overtly suggested that these two were going to sneak off to get it on in the privacy of Dixon Hill’s office if only Data and the historian hadn’t gotten in the way. 

This is where I’d choose to have their full on affair begin. It carries on until “Coming of Age”. While it turns out the investigation was just to prove Picard is trustworthy, he’s concerned his judgment IS impaired by the relationship and asks for space to think. This lasts until “Arsenal of Freedom”, where he’s faced with the possibility of Beverly dying. But she doesn’t like the see saw they are on, which brings us to. 

Season 2:Obviously she left the ship to give him all the space he could ever need. But she misses her son, she misses being on the front lines, and as much as she may not want to, she misses Jean-Luc.

Season 3:She comes back on one condition, no tap-dancing around a relationship — we’re friends. They push through the awkward and get to a really good place. “The High Ground” tests them, but they avoid talking about it. “Allegiance” tests them, but they avoid talking about it. “Sarek” tests them, but they avoid talking about it.

Season 4-6:They are the best of friends — the kind that flirt and tease and support and challenge and are always, always there for each other.

Season 7:“Attached” brings everything — literally everything, all the way back to the beginning — to the forefront. Jean-Luc is relieved, he’s been carrying this around for decades. Beverly is scared. She loves him, she’s loved him all along, but she relies on their relationship and these revelations make her start to second guess her own understanding of it. It takes time to get past that. I don’t think it should take all the way to Nemesis, but I also think Beverly should have about 80% more screen time and presence in the TNG films and really would prefer to just imagine them getting together post “All Good Things”.

PART TWO, Canon Divergent

I think I would do it one of two ways. A) Seasons 1-3 as above, but they get together after “Remember Me”.  B) Seasons 1-6 as above, but they get together after “Attached”.

Honestly not much would change! The various one off love interest episodes would need to be reworked, and we’d get more overt physical intimacy. But their working relationship and their friendship can already be read as lovers.

Qpid: is exactly the same except Picard is even more embarrassed, and there’s a scene where he tries to tell Beverly that just because he’s playing along doesn’t mean he wants to be with Vash. Beverly shakes her head because of course they are going to rescue Vash! Also she gets to fence instead of break pots. In fact Beverly is the one who actually rescues Vash. Vash tells Jean-Luc she’s a keeper.

The Host: Deanna gets Beverly’s part, Picard gets Riker’s and Beverly has to tell Deanna it’s okay to hook up with her boyfriend. Or Riker retains his part and things are somehow both less awkward and way more awkward.

Lessons: is about Beverly, but they don’t break up

Sub Rosa: is now a Geordi episode

Episodes that are improved by their relationship being explicitly romantic:

“Violations”“Cause and Effect” (repetition of a bedroom scene!)“The First Duty”“Chain of Command”“Suspicions”“Journey’s End”

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it and/or write a scenario 

[rowanismybae]

Unexpected Visitor - chapter 7

A new chapter and this one is filled with some cute fluff, mixed feelings, and sappy songs.

Tagging @tiny1hallie @my-life-is-a-drama-book  

--

The next day, Fenrys kept thinking about the prior day. It was easy how he and Mia hanged with each other; it was simple, no worries, no attachments. They were friends, of course, but sometimes things got a little… blurry? Weird? Like the time they danced in the fair or when he “tickled” her with his tong yesterday (in his wolf form, don’t start saying it’s weird because it wasn’t -he couldn’t do it with his paws, could he?), or wasn’t until they were gazing at each other the way they did until Gavriel called him to the meeting.

He really tried to focus on the damn meeting; he did. He heard some sentences about the Ball and security measures they’d have to take and that was it. He kept silent and replaying their little encounter in his head: how good it felt when she rubbed his fur, how amazing it felt her slender fingers grazing near his favorite part and how dead in the tracks he tried to be not to make things weird. He knew it was improper for them, especially for her, rubbing him like that in a public space, but it felt so good! Since Maeve, he wasn’t able to let himself enjoy the moments in the privacy of the bedroom (or hall, kitchen, dark alley, wall, lake, under a tree… mainly everywhere he had sex in). Yes, he felt the normal arousal, the usual pleasure, but he wasn’t able to let himself enjoy the fullest those moments. It was still weird and always made him remember how awful it was to hate her and still feel aroused with the female that ruined his life and imprisoned him, the one that made him please her despite his hate and negative feelings.

But somehow he found himself enjoying Mia’s touch. Found himself wanting her to touch him, and not in his animal form. He wanted her to willingly do it and not by accident. He forgot about his traumas and for the briefest moment, he was the one before being made that bitch’s slave. He only realized all that during the meeting, since he kept replaying the whole thing in his head nonstop. Gavriel didn’t say a word but had that shit eating grin on his face whenever they exchanged looks.

After the meeting, he dined and realized that Mia wasn’t there, which made him a little disappointed. But asking casually to the maids and walking near her bedroom made him realize that she was already asleep. The maid even said she had a busy day and it was probably why she skipped dinner. It made sense.

As Fenrys showered, he realized that Saturday she’d be free and a thought ran through his head. He’d make her a surprise. After the shower, he sat down and started to write his plan down. He’d had a lot of work to do, but it’d be worth if he could see her beautiful smile again.

Friday he started to gather things around and went to the city to buy some stuff that was amiss. He also went to Micah’s bakery to order some things for the next day.

“Hello Lord Fenrys!” Micah said enthusiastically.

“Good morning Micah! How’s your father?”

“He’s great! Today he felt like working with the oven, that’s why I’m here and he is in there,” he said shrugging. “What can I get you today? More sweets to the Queen? More bread?” he asked leaning on the counter.

“Oh, uh, I want to make a small picnic for… a female friend and I’d like to order some of your best and I’ll pick up tomorrow morning. But since I never did anything like it before, I’m kinda lost...” he said carefully rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t want others thinking he was in love or whatever but he also had no clue on what to get and how to do it without looking like a date.

“Oh, I see!! I’ll make a delicious basket for you. You should probably get some fruits as well and juice or wine, depending on the mood you two are in or you intend to create. Since it’s a friend, juice would be better. But if you have other intentions, wine or sparkly wine would be perfect.” he said with a wink.

“I’ll get the juice and the fruits. And bring it over before I get the basket with you,” he said quickly.

Micah smiled and started to write down his order on a paper. Without even raising his eyes from his note, he asked: “How’s Mia?”

“She’s fine. Last time I saw her, she was glowing with joy,” he said to the baker. Why was he saying that was a mystery to him. Somehow he didn’t like the man asking about his friend.

“Really?” he raised his head with eyes shining with some kind of emotion he could not understand. “When was that?” he asked cocking his head to the side.

“Yesterday around sunset…” Fenrys said remembering the moment he left with Gavriel to the meeting and how her face was flushed and her eyes were shining with joy; Micah smiled brightly. What was that supposed to mean? “Why you ask?”

“Oh, nothing… just making small talk,” he said but it didn’t look like it. He was hiding something but Fenrys wasn’t that interested in his real reason to look mischievous like that. “Here, sir. Just come tomorrow morning with the rest of the items and I’ll arrange the basket for your picnic.”

Fenrys took the paper and thanked him before going back home. He needed Lysandra. If he wanted to make a proper friendly picnic, he’d need tips and help. After getting home and finding the shifter, they went to the laundry of the castle and took a big piece of fabric like a big blanket to cover the grass and she helped him pick up some fruits and ordered some nice juices and pates with and without meat to Emrys and glasses, plates and silverware. He also asked Aelin if he could borrow Fleetfoot and take her sightseeing and the Queen loved the idea. Of course that when Lys told her about Fenrys’ plans she wanted to join them. With a lot of work, he managed to convince both of them not to go.

They asked what was the special occasion and what he intended with this adorable date (he insisted that wasn’t a date, obviously) and he just said he was making something good for a friend that was going through a very painful moment. They didn’t fully buy it, but still didn’t push. Before they left, Aelin asked where would the non-date take place.

“I’m not gonna tell you. You busybodies might show up and ruin things with your innuendos and wit. Not gonna risk ruining this friendship telling you where we'll have lunch.”

He knew a special place in the woods next to the stream that was perfect for it. It had a nice clearing and lots of trees and had a chilly breeze and the warmth of the sun just in the right amount. It also had some cute wildflowers and the stream formed a little pool, perfect for a delicious swim. He was confident it would help her heal and also fortify their friendship. He never took anyone there before. He went to clear his head, to just chill and heal. He never shared before because he didn’t want to stain that place with memories of someone he didn’t care that much.

He went to see her as usual so she wouldn’t get suspicious. They dined all in the main dining room and Lys and Aelin kept sharing suspicious looks and grins between each other and Mia didn’t seem to notice even when they said something that indicated that she would have a nice busy day tomorrow.

At his bedroom a few hours later, he was rolling in bed too excited to sleep. Eventually, he slept, of course, but when dawn came, he got up and went to pick things up and set it into place. At the clearing, he placed the blanket on the grass on the perfect spot and placed the small basket with the glasses, silverware, plates, and napkins atop of it. He left it there and went back to the castle. He went to the kitchen and grabbed the supplies he asked Emrys and the cook had a mischievous grin on his lips like he knew too much; Fenrys thanked and left.

At the bakery, he payed Micah despite his strong refusal. Micah placed the things Emrys gave him in the basket and organized it with delicate precision; he even placed a few flowers inside to make it prettier and more appealing to a female. He left after a few annoying questions of Mia. The guy was really interested in her and somehow made Fenrys’ mood go sour. He didn’t have time to brood for long because the castle was near the bakery and soon enough he was back with his basket in hand and heading for Mia’s bedroom.

After three knocks, she answered it. She had a bed hair, wrinkled face from sleep and was yawning, as usual. She looked adorable.

“Why do you have to wake me up every time???” she whined leaning on the door. Fenrys did not see her nightgown go up against her thighs. Nope. He wasn’t looking.

“Rise and shine, Mia! Go dress up because I’ll be taking you to lunch today!” he said smiling and pat the basket on his hand. She raised a questioning brow and peaked at the clock on the hall.

“It’s not even 10 AM yet!!!”

“I know. But we’ll enjoy some friendly quality time before it. And after. Now go get dressed, take extra clothing, a towel and your guitar. Oh, and the cat as well. I’ll be waiting in the back garden.” he said already moving away from her door. He heard her curse him and he chuckled.

He sat on the bench and waited, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the view. He almost dozed off while waiting for her. He heard her before he could actually see her.

“Will you tell me where the hell are we going now or is it still a secret?” she asked bitterly. Probably still mad for being woken up on her day off.

“You’ll see. Let’s go.” He stood up and got her guitar from her hand, whistled for Fleetfoot that came within seconds and started to walk. They kept silent until reaching the clearing in the woods. He felt her mood change instantly and a small smile tugged his lips. Yep, he made the right call.

“It’s beautiful Fen!” she said walking towards the blanket on the floor and placing the small black ball of fur on it. The cat lounged, walked and then started to play with a leaf. The dog was running everywhere getting to know the place. “How did you found this place?” she asked still in awe.

“Well, I needed a time out from everything and started to walk in my wolf form and found this place,” he shrugged while placing the heavy basket and the guitar on the blanket. “I come over whenever I need to clear my head and to stay alone. I actually never brought anyone here. You guys are the first ones.” he gestured to Mia and their furry friends. She smiled and went for him. She hugged him and he stilled.

“Thank you,” she said and he relaxed, placing his arm around her waist and the other over her shoulders. She buried her head on his chest and they stayed like that for a while until her stomach growled. She froze and he laughed.

“Someone’s hungry.” he teased and she chuckled. “Let's eat something, hungry baby.” he nudged her ribs and she pushed him.

They ate and damned be Micah and his baking; the food was absolutely delicious! Emrys also nailed the pates and juice. While she ate, a small moan left her lips and Fenrys imagination started to play with him. Damn her for looking adorable while eating.

After eating, he asked her to play and he laid on the blanket while she started to ably play the strings. The cat just laid next to him curled into a ball. She sang a few cheerful songs, some dancing tunes he never heard before. She also sang some song in another language that sounded peaceful and melodic that he even felt sleepy even though her songs were kind of cheerful. After a while, she changed the rhythm to something slower and when she started to sing in the language he understood, he noticed they were love songs. He smiled while she played and sang; he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the sound of her voice and the lyrics.

It could have been hours or days, but he didn’t even notice. But he did notice when she started to sing one particular song; she started playing some wordless song; actually, she was humming while playing.

“Why are you not singing?” He asked her without opening his eyes. He heard her sigh and keep playing. He opened his eyes and looked at her. Her lips were a thin line and her brows were furrowed like she was thinking about how to answer that question. He was about to ask why she didn’t want to sing it when he saw her open her mouth and start pouring the lyrics out.

“A dangerous plan, just this time A stranger's hand clutched in mine I'll take this chance, so call me blind I've been waiting all my life”

The song was like a caress to his soul; some kind of unanswered question he never knew he made. Her voice was soft as velvet, sweet and comforting. She was pouring her soul into that song and he couldn’t help looking at her while she did it.

“Please don't scar this young heart Just take my hand I was made for loving you Even though we may be hopeless hearts Just passing through Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you”

Fenrys felt the tears start pooling in his eyes while she sang. Somehow the next verse was an answer to the first and the chorus was the same. She sang with so much emotion it was hard not to be touched by it.

“Please don't go, I've been waiting so long Oh, you don't even know me at all But I was made for loving you”

He froze. It was a song for two hearts that didn’t even know each other properly. Was she implying something with that? Was that a song for Micah? He didn’t dare to ask. He didn’t dare think about her answers. He didn’t even know why was he thinking such things. She finished the song and kept playing the melody but her eyes now were closed. She threw her head back and the wind mussed her hair. If he could capture that image he would.

“You’re staring.” she said without looking at him.

“Well, it’s hard not to. It was beautiful.” He said and she opened her eyes and a smile tugged the corners of her lips.

“Thank you.”

“Did you write that?”

She laughed. “Of course not. I sing and play. Never wrote anything. The singer is called Tori Kelly. It’s actually a duet with a man called Ed Sheeran. It’s way prettier when they sing it.”

“I still think it was amazing, Mia.”

She smiled and blushed. She set the guitar aside and reached the basket again and started to eat a fruit. After she finished, she grabbed bread and the pates, juice and some sweets.

“Someone’s hungry again,” Fenrys teased and she smiled while chewing.

“Not gonna lie, I got hungry. Want some?”

They ate almost the whole basket. He didn’t notice he was hungry until he started to eat. They talked, laughed and ate. After they finished, she laid on the blanket and he laid next to her. They talked looking at the sky and the moment was so peaceful that she eventually fell asleep. He watched her sleep and smiled; he let himself relax and slept as well.

He woke up with a laugh. He sat up straight in a second and looked around. He only relaxed when he noticed Fleetfoot licking Mia’s face just like he did a few days before.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who likes to tease you.” He said huffing a laugh.

“She is not as heavy as you though.” She teased when she finally was able to put the dog aside.

He placed one hand over his heart and in fake hurt. “How dare you talk about my weight? It’s a sensitive subject.”

She laughed and stood up. “I’m sorry, but I’m just being honest. I really think you’ve been eating too much. I can already start seeing your muffin top” her eyes were shining with amusement and he stood up shocked.

“Take that back!” And she smiled and shook her head. He took a step forward but she was already running. He smiled and started to chase her. Of course, she stopped in front of the small natural pool and he smiled to himself as he grabbed her by the waist and threw them in it. She screamed and hit him, she threw water at him while cursing him; he couldn’t stop laughing.

“That’s what you get for saying things about my weight,” he said before submerging and straightening his hair. He was starting to remove his tunic when he heard her chuckling and that became a loud laugh. He looked at her and she was actually bent over herself from laughter.

Soon enough he was shirtless and she also noticed that. He pretended like he couldn’t see through the sheer fabric of her dress. They played like two kids in the water for a while until her lips turned blue. They left the water and he started to change in front of her; she yelped and covered her eyes while a beautiful blush spread in her cheeks and neck. After he was done, she grabbed her clean clothes and changed as well but behind a tree. What a prude.

When she came back, the afternoon was almost over and they gathered their things and went back. The pets were happy and relaxed as were the two of them. When they reached the garden, Fleetfoot left running to the castle; she touched his arm and he stopped.

“Thank you. The day was lovely,” her eyes held a lot of emotions and Fenrys couldn’t stop the smile on his lips. “Plus, you helped me practice for tomorrow. I’ll be playing again at the Fair. Will you come with me?” she cocked her head to the side and waited.

“Of course Mia.” She smiled. “Will you play that last song again?”

She chewed her bottom lip before speaking again. “No. I don’t think it’s the kind of song people wanna hear.” Fenrys nodded.

“Thank the gods! I thought you had kidnapped my dog!” Aelin said with Fleetfoot on her feet waving the tail happily at the door.

Mia dropped the hand on his arm and walked toward the Queen. “Wouldn’t dare, my Queen. I don’t wanna be burned alive.” They chuckled and went inside liked by the elbows. He stayed there for a while longer watching the two of them walk, talk and laugh until he heard someone clearing his throat. Gavriel. Great.

“Did you have a good time boyo?” he asked smirking.

“I had. What do you want?”

“Rowan wants a meeting tonight. Apparently, one of us is supposed to go to Perranth to escort Lorcan and Elide here for the Ball. And other stuff. Just letting you know. Let’s hope this time you’re more focused on the meeting…” he winked and left. Gods, he hated those busybodies sometimes. He strode to his bedroom happily, content with how his plan had worked perfectly.

[writingwife-83]

Sherlolly Appreciation Week, Day 5- The Abominable Bride

Hello again! I was kind of excited to try this theme because I actually never wrote anything at all to do with TAB since it aired over a year ago. Tbh, I wasn’t terribly inspired by it at the time. But that’s another story lol. Now I was happy to try! So although this isn’t technically canon, it also doesn’t conflict with the canon of that episode. It could certainly fit if you’d like it to...I know I would. :)) 

A War He Must Lose

“Going somewhere?”

The deep echo of Sherlock’s voice in the back alley caused the small woman to halt and slowly turn. Once she was facing him, he could see the fear in her eyes. It occurred to him that she was afraid of him and that cut him deeply.

“Suppose I’m not anymore,” she said bitterly. “You’ve come to stop me, I assume?”

“I have,” Sherlock admitted.

She nodded. “And is the whole of Scotland Yard out front then? Waiting to take me away?” she asked through grit teeth.

Sherlock approached her slowly, again noting her trepidation. “No, Molly.”

Her lips parted in momentary shock. “Y-you know…you remember.”

“Of course I remember, yes. Do you really expect that I wouldn’t recognize a childhood schoolmate who happened to have the same last name and unmistakable eyes as a rather short and slight, but supposedly male, doctor at Bart’s hospital?” He raised a brow.

Molly set her bulging carpet bag down on the ground with a sigh and crossed her arms. “You never let on,” she replied softly.

Sherlock agreed with a small chuckle. “Naturally. For three years I’ve carefully concealed, even from you, that I had any inkling as to who you truly were. Any hint of that fact could have altered our behavior towards one another, and therefore could have compromised your secret.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “It was hardly worth the risk, in my estimation.”

The glare she leveled at him softened, and she allowed herself a reluctant smile. “And here I thought that I’d disguised myself so well that even the great Sherlock Holmes didn’t catch on. But then, on the other hand…” Her voice dropped and eyes hardened. “I hated you a little for not knowing, or caring.”

He stood his ground cautiously, watching her as she went on.

“I suppose it made me feel just as easily brushed aside and forgotten as I’d felt back in school when we were younger.”

“But you were wrong,” Sherlock stated pointedly. “I didn’t forget.”

Molly’s countenance wouldn’t be moved though. She set her lips in a hard line and looked away for a moment.

“It hardly matters now anyway,” she said, her tone somber. “It’s all over.”

“It doesn’t have to be. Not for you, not in London.”

Molly frowned at him in confusion and perhaps even anger. “Yes it is,” she spat back. “I am a criminal on a number of counts according to the law, and I find it difficult to believe that there is any life left for me here. At least not one that I’d be willing to stoop to!”

“You should stay in London,” he said firmly. “And I believe that I could assist in making that possible.”

Her lips formed a little “ah” shape and she began slowly shaking her head. “I see…so what is this? Some sort of selfish plan of yours? Hoping to keep me in London to use me somehow? Probably hoping that I can’t possibly say no due to my current state of desperation!”

When he reached down to gently but firmly grasp her little hand, he was sure he heard a tiny gasp escape her lips.

“Dr. Hooper,” Sherlock murmured intensely, ensuring that she was riveted. “My desire to keep you in London is for you, because I would like for you to have the life that makes you happy…because you deserve it.”

For a moment, she looked almost like she would cry. Sherlock considered the cause she’d recently rallied behind, and all that she and her friends had lived through and suffered, mostly at the hands of men. And often times it was men who should have been respecting and cherishing them. It was quite likely that it had been some time since Molly had heard a generous word from someone of his sex. Perhaps she was moved.

She blinked rapidly and then steadied her gaze again. She didn’t pull her hand free though.

“There is much that I deserve, but that does not mean it is possible at the moment,” she countered softly. “I cannot imagine my being able to reside safely in London any longer.”

His lips lifted a bit. “Then, please, will you allow me to explain?”

“Very well, then,” she agreed.

“Actually, my plan was that you wouldn’t just hear it from my lips. Would you be willing to come with me, Dr. Hooper? To meet with someone else. Because as little as I like to admit it at times, there is another who is far more suited to the particulars of protecting your life here in this city.”

Molly paused, considering his offer. “Alright, I accept. But we must go now. If I refuse this offer, whatever it may be, I should like to catch a train by the end of the night.”

“Not a problem,” he assured her confidently. “He is already awaiting our arrival, so this meeting should be rather brief.”

“He? Who is it?”

Sherlock smirked as he directed her toward the roadway and an awaiting carriage. “Oh I believe you will know him. He does, after all, occupy a rather large role in our government!”

“Mr. Holmes, good evening, sir,” Molly quietly greeted as they entered the grand study and came face to face with Sherlock’s older brother.

“And a good evening to you, Dr. Hooper. And perhaps we can make it a bit better,” the very large man said as he gestured across his desk. “Do take a seat.”

Molly sat, but her expression and body language made it clear that she was still on the defensive. Sherlock told himself to be patient, that her trust might not be won so quickly and easily.

Mycroft Holmes said nothing at first, but simply took some papers out of his desk and slid them across to her. Molly hesitantly took them and turned them over to read. Her eyes instantly went wide as she looked back at the man across from her.

“W-what is…how did you do this?” She could barely speak clearly, for it was her name; her own full name that was printed on the documents that certified her medical education and license.

Mycroft turned his palms toward the ceiling for a moment. “I have a number of useful connections at my disposal.”

Molly swallowed thickly and became nervous again. “What do you want?”

Sherlock spoke up then.

“He wants nothing, we want nothing. This is simply a gift. There are no strings attached and you certainly are under no obligation to take these and stay in London. But, if you did choose to…” Sherlock glanced back at Mycroft, prompting him to explain further.

“You see, Dr. Hooper, I fund a rather large portion of the work, research, and education that is carried out at Bart’s hospital. That means that my word carries quite a bit of weight.”

Sherlock snorted.

Mycroft continued with a brief eye roll. “If a position of importance must be filled in the hospital, there would be no questioning my opinion on the matter, should I choose to voice it. And it just so happens that a certain Dr. Michael Hooper has recently had a frightful family emergency which requires a hasty relocation. It is rather fortunate, however, that he is not the only one within his family who has a medical degree.” Mycroft smile. “His female cousin specializes in the same profession, and I can personally vouch for her skill and character.”

Molly jaw hung slack as she listened to the almost unbelievable words. She turned to Sherlock, as if she were searching for answers, but couldn’t come up with the needed questions. Sherlock took the hint and tried to fill in some of the possible gaps.

“Dr. Molly Hooper is unknown in the city of London. You have no past, criminal or otherwise. At least, not to anyone besides any of your remaining fellow…brides. And none of them are likely to talk, considering the target they’d place on their own heads. The point is that you can start again, if you wish. You can be yourself, and apologize to nobody for it. You have our word.”

She looked back down at the papers in her hands, clutching them like inestimable  treasure now. “And everything I did…you apparently find no fault in it?” She glanced between the two Holmes men.

Sherlock tilted his head in thought. “Conspiracy and murder…frowned upon, I admit. But all of your motives were rooted in justice, and that I can respect. Naturally, we would hope that your days of any criminal activity are now behind you.”

“Yes, I should hate to regret any help I agreed to give in this area,” Mycroft added. “No matter the justification, I cannot, even indirectly, be a party to the sort of activities with which you were recently involved.”

Molly nodded. “It was already done. It was all over and done with before I met with you two gentlemen tonight. Naturally once the secret was out, our little group could do nothing but go our separate ways. Besides, we had never intended to go on like that forever.” Her expression was a bit contrite for just a moment. “I know I couldn’t have.”

After a moment of silence, Mycroft cleared his throat. “Well then I must ask what your final answer is, Dr. Hooper? Will you be staying on at Bart’s hospital?”

Molly drew a deep breath, and Sherlock saw her fingers touch her own name written in ink on the official documents she held. She finally looked up at Mycroft and gave him a small smile.

“Yes, Mr. Holmes, I will.” She reached across the desk and shook his hand. “I am rather speechless at this unexpected generosity, and I thank you for it.”

“Not at all,” Mycroft stated wearily. “I hardly had to lift a finger! And besides, it certainly wasn’t all my idea.” He glanced conspicuously at his younger brother.

Molly’s eyes shifted to Sherlock and he felt a new and pleasant warmth in her gaze which he was now realizing he could certainly get used to.

“Well! Now that our business is settled, I must admit that I need to be going. You see I have a rather large and important dinner to attend and mustn’t be late,” Mycroft explained as he began rising from his seat with some difficulty.

Sherlock and Molly followed suit and she smiled at the elder Holmes as they made ready to leave. “How lovely. What sort of dinner is it?”

Mycroft grinned widely. “My own!”

The silence was thick for a while in the darkened carriage as it rolled down the bumpy London streets. Sherlock could feel Molly’s eyes on him occasionally, but she remained tight lipped for the first few minutes of the ride. Finally, after releasing a small breath, she opened her mouth to speak.

“Holmes- er, no, that is…” She faltered a bit and paused, and Sherlock couldn’t help but be intrigued by this very different side of her. She wasn’t playing a part anymore.

“Mr. Holmes,” she began again. “Please do not take my silence for lack of gratitude. I am very grateful, truly. But you must understand that for some time I have not been in the practice of accepting…assistance from a man. I have made my own way and am proud to have done so. So to feel as if a path was cut for me without much at all being done on my part, well, I can only describe it as a bit…unsettling.”

Sherlock nodded, able to sympathize a bit. “Perhaps, Dr. Hooper, you may come to think of it not so much as assistance, but that you are simply taking what is owed you. You are taking what is rightfully, and what always should have been…yours.”

Molly’s expression softened a touch. “I shall try to see it that way, yes. Thank you,” she said genuinely.

Sherlock turned his gaze to the window, but Molly’s voice quickly drew his attention back again.

“How long would you have gone on as we were, Mr. Holmes?”

He drew a deep breath, taking a moment to think as he let it out slowly. “As long as you wished to remain concealed, I believe. I had no plans of prompting you to admit your identity to me. Hardly seemed fair for me to force such a thing. It was you who deserved to maintain control, since it was your own secret hanging in the balance.”

“And that wasn’t…difficult for you?” Molly further questioned very softly. “To remain silent?”

Sherlock could just barely make out her sparkling eyes in the dim carriage, reaching out to him, perhaps a little desperately, for the truth. He almost shook his head and said “no,” effectively ending the discussion. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it.

“There were times,” he began slowly, the darkness of the carriage allowing for a level of honesty that perhaps would not be possible otherwise. “That it was…trying. Perhaps during a difficult case or when you were clearly struggling through your day. Times I preferred to speak to you as a friend, to more candidly tell you how brilliantly you had succeeded in your career, and to remind you that regardless of how we behaved in our roles as indifferent colleagues, you always had and always would…matter to me.”

Once the words had begun flowing, he hadn’t quite been able to turn off the tap. Perhaps he’d said too much. But the moment Molly opened her lips in response, any chance of regret flew far away.

“And there were so many times I longed to hear it,” she whispered.

Sherlock was beginning to feel very much out of his depth. God help him if Watson could see him now. He’d never hear the end of it! His heart began to pound in fear, not because he didn’t know what to say next, but because he very well knew there were many more words simmering beneath the surface which he had the undeniable urge to speak.

He considered it a mercy when the carriage came to a halt outside the building where Molly lived.

Molly smiled shyly across at him as the driver knocked on the roof to alert them to her stop. Sherlock climbed out and went round the side to open the door and help her out.

“It seems I am now in your debt,” she stated earnestly while taking his hand and gathering her skirts in order to climb down.

Sherlock smirked. “Precisely. Perhaps I am more selfish than I previously admitted.”

She laughed and it was instantly like music to his ears. It had literally been years since he’d heard that sound, and all at once he realized what he had been missing.

“Not to worry,” she replied playfully. “Your selfless behavior can remain our little secret.”

It was then that he realized he was still clutching her hand in his, despite the fact that she now stood in front of him, no longer climbing down the carriage steps. Instead of releasing it, he impulsively lifted it, bringing it to his lips to press a small kiss to the lace covered skin.

“Hooper,” he murmured in parting.

She looked up at him intently and the corner of her lips tugged upward a bit as she responded in a tone that matched his.

“Holmes.”

As she turned and walked up to her building with her bag now destined for unpacking, he couldn’t help but think that his name spoken on her lips now sounded worlds different when compared to the countless times she’d used it in the past. And when he tried to define the new and appealing quality to it, the first and most prominent words that came to his mind were surprisingly, warmth and affection. He could have said that the idea was repugnant to him, or at least that he was wholly indifferent to it. He certainly could have made such a claim.

But of course…he would have been lying.

[forbiddenwords]

Stranded (Chapter 1)

Written By: TheHeathenSlave Rating: M for Plane crash, injury, survival, desert island, stranded, drug usage, drinking, alcohol, awkward flirting, voyeurism, watersports, fetish, sexual tension, extreme illness, graphic, puss, wound cleaning, surgery, vomiting, oral sex, fluff, angst, romance, drug usage, assault, near death, happy ending. Fandom: Real Person Fiction (Hours Era But Modern Day)

She never thought that a trans Atlantic flight could end in perfect paradise with David Bowie. Well…almost perfect paradise.

It was going to be a long flight and she was well aware of that. Even in business class, it didn’t seem like the most appealing thing in the universe. Oh well, it would just be a few hours right? If she took a sleeping pill and helped herself to the complimentary champagne service, she’d be out for most of the 10 hours that she was going to be forced to sit in one place. By the time the plane was about to take off she’d already had two glasses of champagne and a larger dose of ativan than usually advised (but she didn’t care since she was a doctor). Just as she drifted off she was sure she saw a familiar face smiling at her from just across the row. He was kind of fuzzy. Did she know him? Whatever, she’d bought two seats here just so she could stretch out and she was damn well going to make use of them.

Suddenly she was cold, wet, soaking wet. It was freezing. What the hell happened? She let out a loud scream, or rather tried to, it was quickly filled with water. Panicked, she flailed around a bit and started to swim. It was near the break of dawn, the sun just rising on the horizon and nothing but water as far as the eye could see. At least when it came to some sort of land mass. Otherwise all around her was debris. Some of it flaming. The plane? When had any of this even happened? How? Had she honestly slept through a plane crash? That wasn’t possible, right? Okay, maybe it was since she’d been completely trashed before the plane even got in the air.

She reached out and grabbed a piece of luggage floating by and used it to keep herself up. Her wrist just had to be broken, luckily it wasn’t on her dominant hand or she would have been fucked. There were bodies around. Bodies and body parts. Her stomach lurched but she managed to hold down the vomit. She didn’t know much about sharks or other predatory sea animals but she didn’t think it would be a great idea to vomit right now. Was anyone still alive? Someone had to be. Please let someone be alive. Using the luggage to keep herself above water she began to kick her legs to move herself away from some of the more intense flames. It wasn’t long before she came across a raft. It was floating there, in it’s tiny little contained package. With quite a bit of effort she managed to pull the cord. The thing was sturdy, actually let her small frame climb into it with only a it of energy expended. That was one problem solved.

“Hello?” She called, her voice weaker than she wanted it to be. She started to cough heavily and ended up vomiting anyway, right over the side of the raft. “Dammit.” She whispered and wiped her mouth with the back of her uninjured hand. She started to paddle as much as she could with her good arm. Anything that floated by she picked up and tossed into the raft. Since the thing was meant for about twelve people, she was going to have more than enough room to carry things with her. She doubted there were even twelve people alive. Not even three. She saw no movement other than the flames coming from the wreckage. Quickly she was losing hope that she was even going to make it out of this.

Each body she passed she was sure to give a good shake, but nothing. There was no response. Just as panic was starting to inch into her mind the raft shook violently causing her to scream. She looked over across the way, scrambling back a bit to try to keep the thing from tipping as another person climbed in. A man. His shaggy hair hanging in his face. He was clutching his side, there was something sticking out of it. Seemed he was struggling for breath. He collapsed on his back in the small space left where she hadn’t been stacking bags and other supplies that might become useful in the next few days. Once the shock had subsided, she scrambled over to him and looked down at his injury.

“I’m a doctor.” She said, “Let me help.”

“I’d say it was my lucky day but I was just in a plane crash.” He muttered and let out a grim chuckle. His accent was British and his voice was deep, two things she didn’t expect at all from this tall skinny man. But, she recognized him, the face that was smiling across the isle from her? She’d seen him before right? It didn’t matter, she had to help him first.

“Well…I suppose you could call this a streak of luck during a very unlucky day.” She laughed softly. “Hang on, I picked up a large first aid kit.” It was a huge one, attached to buoys, most likely just in case of a water landing or crash. She found it and opened it, pulling a flashlight and some other materials. It had been sealed so no water had actually gotten into it. Everything inside was dry, untouched. She turned on the flashlight and shone it over his injury. There was a piece of metal stuck in him and there was no way of telling how deep it was. She’d have to make a few educated guesses.

“Is it hard to breathe?” She asked.

“I would say so.” He laughed and then winced. She smiled at him gently and pushed some hair out of his face.

“Your eye its…”

“No that was…it’s been like that for a while it didn’t happen in the crash.” He said. “Just…take the metal out.”

“Okay okay but I mean…I need to make sure it’s not in your lung.”

“Could I talk if it were?” He replied. He did have a point, and it annoyed her because she was supposed to be the doctor here. The thing was, she wasn’t a clinical doctor. She was a forensic psychiatrist for the FBI. All she ever did was autopsies which meant working on already dead people. Though she had the qualifications to work on living people and the knowledge to save lives, it was definitely not something she did every day. Especially not after a plane crash.

“Right.” she said, “So can you take in a deep breath for me and let it out slowly?” She asked him. He nodded and did as she asked, wincing a bit but he was able to get in a full breath and let it out. There was no way that thing was too deep in there, or at least hitting anything vital if that were the case.

“Take it out?”

“Alright but if you bleed out…”

“I probably would have anyway, do you think help is really going to come any time soon? Even if you leave it in out of precaution? I’m consenting to the treatment pull the fucking thing out of me.” He growled. Her mouth was dry, and the taste in there was still bitter from the vomit. She just nodded and grabbed the metal, pulling it out. Thankfully, it really was only stuck in there about two inches. She quickly grabbed some gauze and unwrapped it before pressing it over the wound and holding it there tightly.

“You might need stitches but first we are going to hope the bleeding stops on its own, mostly because I haven’t got crap to stitch you up with. Might be able to find some super glue though.”

“Are you mad?”

“That’s originally what it was invented for.” She informed him, “Or you know, you could just die. Pretty sure you’d make very nice fish bait once I get desperate.”

“Very funny.” He muttered and then coughed.

“Hold this gauze there, my wrist is broken I need to find a way to splint it.” She said, grabbing one of his hands with her uninjured hand and putting it in place. “Apply as much pressure as you can without causing yourself too much pain, okay?”

“Yes yes.” He rolled his eyes and moved onto his back. “You didn’t recognize me before.”

“Don’t really recognize you now, to be honest, then again my mind isn’t in a place where I need to be freaking out at celebrities.” She muttered and started to go through more of the first aid supplies. There wasn’t anything in there she could use as a splint, she was going to have to improvise.

“So you at least admit to knowing I am a celebrity.” He asked. “Yet somehow you don’t recognize me.”

“Look…sir…”

“Sir? That’s a new one. I’m not old enough for you to be calling sir, ma’am.”

“Okay I am not old enough to be a ma’am I’m 38.” She snapped at him.

“So how exactly do you think I feel being called sir?”

“You are at least in your 50’s.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He said, “Look the point is I’m actually kind of glad you don’t know who I am. Saves me the trouble of having to deal with some kind of fan girl in this situation.”

“Oh?” She asked, “Well, you ever consider I might be famous as well?”

“Don’t recognize you.”

“Not famous in America. Not really. More it’s my family name that is. In any case, I’ve met a lot of celebrities each less impressive than the last. I hate to break it to you…guy…but you’re still a human being. You don’t shit chocolate ice cream because the whole world knows your name.”

Finally her hands settled on a ruler. Not sure why that was among the bags and debris. Maybe an architect or school teacher was traveling with it. No matter, it would work as a splint for now. The guy started to make some weird noise and at first she thought he was choking but then realized it was just a very weak and pained laugh. Ignoring him for the moment, she broke the ruler in half, which wasn’t easy, and used the combination of that and an ace bandage to tightly splint her wrist. No help from him either. He just lay there holding his side and laughing.

“Going to tell me what’s so funny now?” She asked, finally being able to rest back against the side of the raft and take a few deep breaths.

“If I had to get stranded, I’m glad it’s with the one person who isn’t impressed with what I do.” He said, “Maybe it is my lucky day. Wonder if the world will be convinced I’m dead. Now that, that would be interesting.”

“Oh…?” She asked and looked at him, squinting her eyes a bit as the sun rose more and light became more useful. “David Bowie?”

“You guessed right. Only took you…lets see…you passed out right before the plane took off so five hours or so?” He asked, “Congratulations, thought I was going to have to tell you.”

“Okay I was passed out for…how long were we in the air?”

“About three hours. Think the engine exploded.”

“You mean one of the engines, there isn’t just one engine on a plane like that. Whatever. I was passed out for three of those hours so really it took me ten minutes, and 9 of those minutes consisted of pulling metal out of your side and splinting my wrist.”

“Fair point.” He said. “So, what do we do now?”

“Look for land and hope that maybe there’s some kind of radio or beacon that is going off that a rescue team can follow to find us.” She sighed and closed her eyes trying to ignore the agonizing pain in her wrist. “Just shut up and let me think for a moment.”

The moment was longer than she meant it to be. A lot longer. The next thing she knew she was waking up because David was pushing at her side with his foot. One of her eyes opened and she noticed the sun was high over head. They weren’t anywhere near the debris of the plane, they must have drifted. There wasn’t even luggage floating in the water, there was, however, much more luggage in the raft. A ton more. David must have grabbed some more before collapsing back in place. At least he’d thought to do that. They would need as much as they could get, especially food. Seemed to be quite a bit of that.

“What?” She muttered. God her mouth was dry. Her other eye opened and she looked around. In the large first aid kit she had grabbed and opened before passing out, there was a bottle of water. She grabbed it and without thinking too much, tried to twist open the top. Then she screamed in pain and dropped the thing.

“Hey hey, careful.” He said, and grabbed the bottle as it rolled towards him. He sat up, carefully, opened it, and held it towards her. “I see land.” She took the bottle and took a few small sips. It was tempting to gulp it down but she knew it would just make her sick if she did that.

“Where?” She asked. He pointed behind her and she turned. He wasn’t wrong. There was land there but it was very questionable if it was inhabited land. Well, civilized in-habitation. Most likely it was just some random island. It would still be better than staying in a boat. More food sources, possible fresh water. If not they could always boil some or…well it was better than what they had now. “Come on we have to try to paddle this raft towards it.”

“Are you serious?”

“Are you serious about not doing that?” She asked. He gave her a look and shifted onto his knees. Then he grabbed the bottle of water from her and took a few sips himself. While he did that, she looked around in the boat for anything that could work was somewhat of a paddle. Nothing. Damn. In desperation (and maybe a bit of stupidity, she jumped into the water and got behind the raft starting to push it as she swam in the right direction.

“You want help with that?” David asked.

“I wouldn’t advise jumping back into the water with that wound in your chest.” She called. “Did it stop bleeding?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You don’t want to risk opening it again just…navigate.” She told him.

“Alright.” He said.

This plan worked for a good while, somewhat. She was exhausted but her will to survive was overpowering her will to pass out and give up. By the time she was nearly completely out of energy they were almost to the island. It was only about a thousand yards away. David had to help her back into the raft where she collapsed again, her lungs burning and her body aching like she never thought possible before. He handed her the bottle of water then started to use his hands to paddle. Progress was slow but they were getting there. Hopefully the tide would eventually catch them and wash them onto shore instead of insisting on pushing them back out.

“T-Thank you.” She whispered.

“Thank you. I think we’d have been fucked if you didn’t do something that crazy.” He told her, shifting from one side of the raft to the other to make sure they didn’t go off course. “What was your name again?”

“Again? Did I even tell you before? Sorry, it’s Leila.” She whispered and took a few more sips of water. “Hopefully you have some idea about survival on a deserted island.”

“Really? You think that’s what David Bowie does with his time? Camping?”

“No but I guess I was hoping. I read something online about you reading every book you could ever get your hands on. The odds being what they are because of your age, one of them could have been about survival.” She said.

“Possibly, but it would also come down to how much I remember said book and I haven’t read one like that recently. What about you?” He asked.

“I’m an FBI agent.” She said, “Hunting and fishing are a hobby, hiking as well. Don’t really camp too much but I have a general idea how to survive in a situation such as this.”

“Well, we should be fine then. You do all the work and I’ll provide the entertainment.” He laughed. She smiled and pushed some hair out of her face. This was one of those times that she realized it was just too long. Down to her waist and in the way more than she needed it to be. This was what prompted her to go through the bags until she found a scrunchy to pull it into a ponytail. By that point, they were nearly there and the waves had caught them pushing them up towards the beach.

“When we get close enough, I’ll hop out and pull us the rest of the way. Don’t get out until we are on land, I don’t want that cut to open up.” She said.

“You’re bossy.” He smiled, “but, can’t complain much.”

“Better not.” She muttered and then snickered, not being able to help herself. Of all the places she never thought she’d end up, it was on an island after a plane crash alone and with David Bowie. Perhaps she’d been wrong about how unlucky this situation was. At least for herself. She could honestly use the time off. How bad could it really be?

Next Chapters.

[kuriyamamirairageblog]

Hello again. It’s been a while, huh? Nearly two years, it seems. Yesterday I felt the sudden urge to come around and give a status update on my blog. But, as it was already too late in the night, I figured I’d save it for today. Lots of things have happened in between now and then, so I guess I’ll save the details and jump to the main key aspects. I have finished my bachelors in psychology and started a master’s degree in cognitive neurosciences and neuropsychology. I don’t dislike the subjects studied, but I’m not enjoying the experience. I’m tired of studying the same things over and over. It feels like I’m constantly repeating the same subjects. It makes me feel demotivated. I end up slacking off when I should be doing productive things, and when I reach time periods dangerously close to deadlines, I feel like I’m about to burst with anxiety. Regardless, I’ve maintained a high-average sort of performance, which is great, considering I would like to have the course finished. There is however a set back... I hate the idea of the upcoming internship and master’s thesis. I just feel like it’s a degree of difficulty way too high for what I’ve been prepared for. Besides, just like in other professional areas, theory is a lot different from the actual clinical practice. A few people who work at certain institutes in Portugal went to lecture us during classes. They gave us their testimony about what it was like to work as a neuropsychologist. They were all arrogant people who frankly seemed to care a lot about their work but had not successfully managed to develop as human beings. I suppose I could develop a theory about “Artificial Sense of Empathy”, seen as I’ve been witnessing many cases of psychologists who seem too far away from humanity. Investigation is a no-go, too. I’m not good at it at all, and it doesn’t interest me the slightest. I have no drive for it. It’s dull to me. It’s a torturous kind of work, that I would not be able to do as a lifestyle. I worked as a waiter in a restaurant last summer. It was only good for a few weeks while I was learning the basics, and it was definitely a very outstanding experience in the aspect that I definitely won’t forget it and still talk a lot about it nowadays. But then things got kind of grim. I actually don’t mind the work in hospitality. It was fun to talk to costumers, serve tables, clean things, carry things around in the warehouse and what not. It was honestly amusing, and I can’t say it was a bad wage for a summer job at all. But, as the summer progressed, the boss and the work colleagues got progressively more stressed and started taking their frustrations out on the job. Moreover, due to relationship circumstances not having been the best at the time either, I got really into the job and decided to work in it full time, to get my mind out of things. That decision allowed me to get a very good understanding of what I was getting into, but it also had consequences. I was going in at 10:30 in the morning, leaving for “lunch break” at 4/5pm, then back in at 7  and only leaving at midnight again. Repeat: day after day, only with days off at Monday, from June to mid September. I can almost say that i had no summer, but i learned a lot along the way. I learned from experience the type of effort my parents had to make to able to afford the kind of lifestyle I have, with studies and things like that. But I can’t say it made me value my studies more... I know for a fact now that I won’t be able to handle a life like that because, at some point, I burned out completely and my psychological condition didn’t allow me to move. So I made the decision of never working full time on hospitality again, seen as I don’t want to go insane or have to deal with my colleagues’ frustrations. But I’ve got to make a living somehow and pay bills at some point, so I can’t just go on with part-time jobs forever... And if I don’t want to work in a restaurant like that nor as a neuropsychologist, then, what am I supposed to do? I’ve picked up the hobby of drawing. I got decent at it. Not too good. But decent. And I’ve always liked things like jewels and video games and things of the sort. I wish I could make a living out of something pleasurable like drawing or making jewelry, or even drawing video game characters and writing background stories... Something fantasy-ish that could really get me involved and grow attached to what I do. But there’s nothing like that for me here, and I’m not sure of how to look for it either. But I must confess I’m also very lazy. By now, I could have posted my drawings on tumblr or on deviantart, or something like that to see if I can attract notoriety. But i haven’t and there really is no excuse for it: it’s because I’m lazy and simply haven’t gotten around to do it. Because, instead of being productive, I watch videos or play computer games. I think I’m never really going to get anywhere if I keep at it like that, but for some reason, I just can’t get myself to move my own ass. I’m just so demoralized in that aspect, I always think that nothing is worth the effort. I can’t go on living like this. I must find a way to change that somehow. However, when it comes to the affection matter, things have taken a very complex journey into a place that I can be satisfied with. I’ll try to cut it as short as possible: I got involved with a guy who wasn’t very good for me. He wasn’t a healthy person. Not from the physical point of view, nor from the psychological one either. Moreover, he was economically dependent on a guy he had a relationship with but who he claimed he didn’t love. I thought I was able to support him - that I was strong enough. But I wasn’t, and my love for him didn’t last forever, either. It’s pointless to try to help someone when that someone is making active efforts to counter what you do for them. And I guess it’s preferable to suffer for not having someone than to fight for someone who you love but doesn’t want you back. I think I might have lost a few good friends because of how invested I was in him. At some point, a really close friend of mine told me that I had to learn how to let go and take care of myself, to end the suffering I was in. I can’t say i learned how to let go, but I can say that I learned that I should not disrespect myself to the point of bringing myself down for people who don’t deserve the effort. Careful assessment of one’s worth is necessary. I didn’t see a way out of the case I was in without getting my hands dirty though. I had already tried before to end things peacefully. I was not allowed to leave though. Not because of violence or anything, don’t get the wrong idea. But either he came crawling back or I felt like I couldn’t hold on and I’d try to reach out to him again. So I did things the only way I know. I created an entanglement of lies that I knew would collapse in such way they would destroy everything. He wouldn’t try to reach out to me and I wouldn’t try to reach out to him. It was a near success. I haven’t spoken to him in months and I’m feeling great about that. He tried to reach me a couple of times before via text messaging, but I was a smart fox and kept his number recorded on my cell phone. Every time i receive a text from him, I don’t read it. I delete it. A few months ago I joined a gay dating website. I didn’t have any objective in mind, I just didn’t like not having anyone to talk to. And I know I enjoy the company of men, to some extent, even if I don’t like sex as much as they do. A guy with a very revealing profile picture came texting me out of nowhere. I thought to myself  “oh my, what does this dog want from me?” I almost didn’t answer to his message, but at the time, I was in a “What the hell” mood, so I did. And he’s a gamer. And he’s a biologist. And he’s smart. And he’s super cute. And he makes me really happy. We’ve been dating for nearly three months now and we’re planning a living together. We’ve talked about getting married, and sooner or later, it’s bound to happen. For some reason, I have never felt I could trust someone like this. Of course I have certain insecurities. For example, he’s bisexual, I’m always a little worried that he might crave girls all of a sudden, because that’s always what happened to me in my previous experience with bisexual guys. But he lets me talk about my worries with him. He’s very empathetic and understanding with me, and I can calmly talk about any issue with him. And he does certain things that make me feel like he’s really into me and would never swap me out for anyone else. Everyday he makes efforts to make me believe that. And, even though, I can never reach the 100% trust because of my previous experiences and the scars they left me, I can say I’ve gotten as close as 99%. Love can’t be experienced in the same way for two different people, but I think I have fallen in love for the right person this time, and even if all else goes bad, I still have him. I hope so, anyway. Because, right now, where everything else seems so stressing with work, anxiety and lack of motivation to do things other than playing video games, he’s always there with me, and comes see me every day even though he has to drive all the way here.  I don’t really know what else to say. I feel like that’s already a pretty big post as is. I don’t know how regularly I’ll be posting, but I guess that would be whenever I feel like it. Sometimes, I feel like I complain too much, even though I should be more grateful for the things that happen to me. But I guess that’s just the way I am. And even though I complain about a lot of things, I know that I can appreciate the good things that come in my way. 

[brothermurhder-blog]

Ella's Unwelcome Visitor

Ella: I was getting myself ready for work as it was Saturday evening it was always the busiest night of the week and the weekend. My car was in the garage because something was wrong with it. So I had to walk it wasn’t to bad lucky I didn’t live far from the club. Reaching the back area as I walked up the stairs letting myself in the back door.  Walking passed Amari’s office as I waved to her as I walked passed heading to the locker area. I placed my bag down and got changed into my uniform. I then headed over to the bar saying hello to the staff. Asking for a vodka and lemonade while the club was starting to fill up. One customer was already waiting so I headed over to my room and got everything ready. I peaked out of the door asking for my first customer to come inside.

Murhder:

Gaining entry into the club by my usual charming way, yeah mind control. Loved it. Heading towards the VIP section, I got a vibe that someone who I knew was here but couldn't see. But that would have to wait for another time, for now I was only interested in one female and she would be working entertaining the males. Going over to the bar I ordered a bourbon, handing over a twenty dollar bill. Settling down onto a stool I saw her come out of the back, I wanted to go over to her but she took the first male in. A pang hit me at the centre of my chest, rubbing my sternum hard. I wanted to be in there with her but no some disgusting male was leering at her. If I ever found out he put his hands on her I'd bite his fucking hands off. Hold up I was acting like a bonded male “She wouldn't have you” “You're crazy”

Ella: Seeing to my first customer and hearing the noise outside I just knew the place was picking up and that the club must be nearly full. I did my normal thing and showed him what he paid me to do, giving him a little wink. As I did my thing sliding my body up and down the pole, as I licked my lips dancing to the music I headed over to him and lowered myself against him as he was seated in the chair I did my normal stuff and the music ended that is when I knew his time was up. Taking my earnings from him as he waved bye as he exited his way out of my room. I buzzed the bar for another drink as I couldn’t leave until my break was due. I popped my head out towards the bar and that is when I noticed Murhder was at the bar having a bourbon. I smiled as I waved over at him, saying hello As my next customer was waiting for me. All thought’s started going through my mind as to why he was back again. I headed back into my room with my next customer.

Murhder:

Watching the door to the room closely, it was ages since that male had gone in but finally he exited “What you going to do? Go in?” “You'll scare that female” Tossing the bourbon back to feed the voices to shut them up. She raised her hand and waved to me, lifting my hand up I waved back at her. I was about to get up when she waved the next male in. Fuck, fuck, fuck I was fucking too late, again. Ordering another bourbon I settled back into my seat “Told you she didn't want you”

Ella: Finishing up with my customer as he paid me for the little lap dance I gave him, he left with a big grin on his face. I wanted to go and talk to Murhder so I headed out of my room and over to the bar. Asking the barmaid to get me my usual drink, smiling softly at her. I walked over to Murhder to say hello, “Hi Murhder, fancy seeing you tonight, are they looking after you tonight? I didn’t expect to see you so soon, couldn’t stay away.” I laughed softly, as I took a sip from my drink.

Murhder:

The door opens once again, the male that exited had huge grin on his face, lucky bastard. That's when I noticed no other male was entering the room, I was getting my nerve up to go over when the door opened and she exited the room heading towards me. She ordered a drink and spoke to me “Yeah I couldn't keep away cos I wanted to see you again. Are you going to give me a dance? I can pay good” That didn't sound the way I wanted to “I didn't mean that you're a.. you know what I mean” I was mentally kicking myself in my head. “You've fucked that up bastard” “Who wants you now after that car crash of a conversation?”

Ella: “You want me to give you a lap dance? Why didn’t you come over, I am just taking a break, there is nothing stopping you from coming over and waiting if that is what you want.” I couldn’t believe what he just ask me, looking at him as I carried on drinking my drink. “You want another?” I got the barmaid's attention and got Murhder another drink, as I carried on drinking mine. “I am glad you came back, I wanted to see you too.” I smiled with a big grin on my face. “I have to get back soon, Saturday night is always busy.” I looked around and no one was waiting. “Tonight is your lucky night, you want to come over now? Or after you finish your drink Murhder?” Drinking some more of my drink.

Murhder:

“I'll come now” That sound way too eager but I didn't give a fuck “Females first” Getting down off the stool I followed Ella over to her room, entering I sat down onto the seat, a pole was in the middle of the room. Now this will be interesting seeing Ella on that, I wonder what it be like to have sex with her twisted around it. Ella shut the door “Are you ready?” I simply nodded as if I spoke random words would tumble out. I was waiting for the voices to say something but nothing came. How strange

Ella: I couldn’t believe my luck, Murhder wanted me to show him what I do, the nerves started to kick in but I knew I could show him a great time. I was glad I had another drink I downed it straight to settle my nerves. I walked over to the pole as I wrapped my legs around the pole, dancing to the music as I was watching Murhder’s face, as I licked my lips, I reached to the top of the pole as I attached my legs tightly around the pole as I slide down slowly and then back up as my body moved to the beat, licking my lips again, as my body moved up and down the pole.

Murhder:

Watching Ella move up and down the pole my cock becomes hard, straining against the zipper, I had to reposition myself so it didn't hurt. She lucked her lips, a moan escapes my lips, fuck she was perfect in every way. I couldn't wait to get her beneath me with her scent both on the inside and outside of her. She was MINE. I waited for the voices to tell me she wasn't mine, but they never came. This female before me was the key to this. Twice now I've been in her company and the voices had gone away. Was she the key to stop the voices?

Ella: As I was moving up and down the pole, I glanced over at Murhder he looked a little uncomfortable as if he was having a little trouble in his pants. I didn’t mean to look but I had that feeling that this was going to be a good night, especially with a male I really wanted. I said to myself snap out of it, Ella I needed to focus on what was happening now. I slid down the pole and walked over to the chair Murhder was sitting in, dancing around the chair, swaying to the music. I moved behind him, as my hands came over the top of him, as my hands went down his shirt, I could feel the six pack on him, oh my his body was to die for. Licking my lips and moaning softly as my hands went lower, as I couldn’t keep them away from his body, growling softly as I moved my hands quickly away. Wondering what he was thinking right now.

Murhder:

Ella came closer to me, her hips swaying to the music. Jeez she was going to kill me here if she carried on like this. She went behind the chair, her hands gently placed onto my pecs and went lower, a groan escaped my lips as I pushed my hips up. If I didn't get my my shit together she be beneath in no time, but I didn't want to scare her, not like that. Ella came round to the front of me she bent in front of me, her fine ass was in my face. I didn't know if I was allowed to touch her or not but fuck it. With a shaky hand I touched her ass, fuck me she felt perfect. I couldn't wait till we were together with no interruptions

Ella:As I reached around to the front of the chair, I could see he was enjoying it, so i turned around and bent down my ass up in his face. I normally wouldn’t let anyone touch me but with Murhder it felt like I needed and wanted his hands all over me, A soft moan escaped my lips as his hands touched me, sending my body wild from his touch. Oh my I could feel myself down below as my knickers were so wet just from his touch. I placed my ass down in his lap as I swayed to the music as I could feel the bulge in his pants.

Murhder:

Ella sat into my lap, my cock was having its own party in my pants. I place my hands on her hips grinding hard against, I could smell her arousal, fuck she smelt gorgeous. I knew I wasn't going to last, I had to cum, to get the release that I needed. I continued to grind hard against her, list in my thoughts of her when fuuuuccckkk I came in my pants, shooting cum like this was my last ever orgasm. No other female had ever had this effect on me.

Ella: I grinded my ass more over his bulge, I could feel the hardness beneath ohh fuck...I have never ever felt like this before with any of my customers he made me feel whole. What was he doing to me, I could feel the heat hotting up between us, I knew either of us couldn’t hold on much longer and just like that a soft moan came out of my lips, when I knew that I had cum again in my knickers just from his touch, we continued to grind each other, when a loud growl came out of Murhder’s mouth, I just knew he had cum as well. Fuck...what was happening.

Murhder:

Our bodies stilled, we were sexually saturated from the erotic dance, but somehow I know she didn't do this other males. With that knowledge I felt better, in fact the bastards should be jealous of what had just happened between us, this was a union between us even though I had not entered her. Ella slowly got up from my lap, l slowly got up, reaching into my back pocket I took out a wad of bills. I have Ella two one hundred dollar bills. “Thank you. That was amazing” Ella showed me to the door, opening I noticed a male was waiting for her. I felt Ella tense beside me, this one I had to keep an eye on. I don't know how but I knew he was trouble.

Ella:As I got up from Murhder’s lap and he followed he reached his back pocket he took out two one hundred dollars. He placed them in my hands thanking me saying it was amazing, I was still in shock. I showed him to the door, as I opened the door I froze Jhason was waiting in his normal spot. I tensed as it has been awhile since he had been to see me. “Thanks Murhder, see you again soon.” As I watched him wonder off, wishing he was still here. Looking over to Jhason “what do I owe this pleasure you haven’t been around in ages.” He spoke back to me, “had fun in there I can smell it.” Looking back to him, “what is it to do with you, you are not my keeper. What do you want, Jhason?” “I wanted to see you, so here I am. I want a lap dance, Ella.” “I am sure I can fit you in but it won’t be long, it’s nearly home time.”

Murhder:

The male disappeared into the room, I ordered another bourbon and downed it, the club was winding down, it would be kicking out time soon. The door opened the male exited and he looked pissed but had gone out. I needed to keep my eye on that fucker “What you going to do?” “Go bat shit crazy on him?” Great the voices were back. Ella had exited the room, she had headed to the back. I went out of the club, I was going to go when I noticed the male hanging around in the alley by the back door. Staying in the shadows I waited to see what events were going to unfold. Ella emerged from the back door, the male was upon her, grabbing her arm, roughly shaking her. No fucker us going to lays their hands on my female. With a growl that came from the pits of my stomach I raced down the alley knocking the fucker off Ella. He turned to face me “What's your problem? She belongs to me” I looked Ella over “Sorry couldn't find a label that says property of a scumbag” The male was about to protest when I palmed my dagger that had been hiding in my jacket. I pinned the male against the wall, the dagger at his throat “No one touches her. Got it” My eyes were wild from rage. I dragged the dagger across his neck leaving a red streak. Positioning the dagger I tore through his tendons in his arms “Don't ever touch her again” I slashed his tendons in his legs “Don't ever go after her again” Picking him up I slammed him against the wall, taking out another dagger I stabbed him in both his palms pinning him to the wall. Taking out yet another dagger I gutted the fucker. A crazed look on my face “kill, kill, kil, KILL” the voices screamed. I turned around to look at Ella, her face was full of fear.

Ella: I couldn’t believe what was happening, Murhder had Jhason up against the wall a dagger in both his palms, and he just gutted him like butter wouldn’t melt. This is not the Murhder I know. I was just in shock as to what was happening in front of me. I was scared he would hurt me to. He told him I was his, but I am no ones, The look on his face said it all. “Kill, Kill, Kill.”  I just stood there in shock and couldn’t move.

Ella’sUnwelcomeVisitor #DarkParables

[workinggirlelladp]

UnwelcomeVisitor!

Ella: I was getting myself ready for work as it was Saturday evening it was always the busiest night of the week and the weekend. My car was in the garage because something was wrong with it. So I had to walk it wasn’t to bad lucky I didn’t live far from the club. Reaching the back area as I walked up the stairs letting myself in the back door.  Walking passed Amari’s office as I waved to her as I walked passed heading to the locker area. I placed my bag down and got changed into my uniform. I then headed over to the bar saying hello to the staff. Asking for a vodka and lemonade while the club was starting to fill up. One customer was already waiting so I headed over to my room and got everything ready. I peaked out of the door asking for my first customer to come inside.

Murhder:

Gaining entry into the club by my usual charming way, yeah mind control. Loved it. Heading towards the VIP section, I got a vibe that someone who I knew was here but couldn't see. But that would have to wait for another time, for now I was only interested in one female and she would be working entertaining the males. Going over to the bar I ordered a bourbon, handing over a twenty dollar bill. Settling down onto a stool I saw her come out of the back, I wanted to go over to her but she took the first male in. A pang hit me at the centre of my chest, rubbing my sternum hard. I wanted to be in there with her but no some disgusting male was leering at her. If I ever found out he put his hands on her I'd bite his fucking hands off. Hold up I was acting like a bonded male “She wouldn't have you” “You're crazy”

Ella: Seeing to my first customer and hearing the noise outside I just knew the place was picking up and that the club must be nearly full. I did my normal thing and showed him what he paid me to do, giving him a little wink. As I did my thing sliding my body up and down the pole, as I licked my lips dancing to the music I headed over to him and lowered myself against him as he was seated in the chair I did my normal stuff and the music ended that is when I knew his time was up. Taking my earnings from him as he waved bye as he exited his way out of my room. I buzzed the bar for another drink as I couldn’t leave until my break was due. I popped my head out towards the bar and that is when I noticed Murhder was at the bar having a bourbon. I smiled as I waved over at him, saying hello As my next customer was waiting for me. All thought’s started going through my mind as to why he was back again. I headed back into my room with my next customer.

Murhder:

Watching the door to the room closely, it was ages since that male had gone in but finally he exited “What you going to do? Go in?” “You'll scare that female” Tossing the bourbon back to feed the voices to shut them up. She raised her hand and waved to me, lifting my hand up I waved back at her. I was about to get up when she waved the next male in. Fuck, fuck, fuck I was fucking too late, again. Ordering another bourbon I settled back into my seat “Told you she didn't want you”

Ella: Finishing up with my customer as he paid me for the little lap dance I gave him, he left with a big grin on his face. I wanted to go and talk to Murhder so I headed out of my room and over to the bar. Asking the barmaid to get me my usual drink, smiling softly at her. I walked over to Murhder to say hello, “Hi Murhder, fancy seeing you tonight, are they looking after you tonight? I didn’t expect to see you so soon, couldn’t stay away.” I laughed softly, as I took a sip from my drink.

Murhder:

The door opens once again, the male that exited had huge grin on his face, lucky bastard. That's when I noticed no other male was entering the room, I was getting my nerve up to go over when the door opened and she exited the room heading towards me. She ordered a drink and spoke to me “Yeah I couldn't keep away cos I wanted to see you again. Are you going to give me a dance? I can pay good” That didn't sound the way I wanted to “I didn't mean that you're a.. you know what I mean” I was mentally kicking myself in my head. “You've fucked that up bastard” “Who wants you now after that car crash of a conversation?”

Ella: “You want me to give you a lap dance? Why didn’t you come over, I am just taking a break, there is nothing stopping you from coming over and waiting if that is what you want.” I couldn’t believe what he just ask me, looking at him as I carried on drinking my drink. “You want another?” I got the barmaid's attention and got Murhder another drink, as I carried on drinking mine. “I am glad you came back, I wanted to see you too.” I smiled with a big grin on my face. “I have to get back soon, Saturday night is always busy.” I looked around and no one was waiting. “Tonight is your lucky night, you want to come over now? Or after you finish your drink Murhder?” Drinking some more of my drink.

Murhder:

“I'll come now” That sound way too eager but I didn't give a fuck “Females first” Getting down off the stool I followed Ella over to her room, entering I sat down onto the seat, a pole was in the middle of the room. Now this will be interesting seeing Ella on that, I wonder what it be like to have sex with her twisted around it. Ella shut the door “Are you ready?” I simply nodded as if I spoke random words would tumble out. I was waiting for the voices to say something but nothing came. How strange

Ella: I couldn’t believe my luck, Murhder wanted me to show him what I do, the nerves started to kick in but I knew I could show him a great time. I was glad I had another drink I downed it straight to settle my nerves. I walked over to the pole as I wrapped my legs around the pole, dancing to the music as I was watching Murhder’s face, as I licked my lips, I reached to the top of the pole as I attached my legs tightly around the pole as I slide down slowly and then back up as my body moved to the beat, licking my lips again, as my body moved up and down the pole.

Murhder:

Watching Ella move up and down the pole my cock becomes hard, straining against the zipper, I had to reposition myself so it didn't hurt. She lucked her lips, a moan escapes my lips, fuck she was perfect in every way. I couldn't wait to get her beneath me with her scent both on the inside and outside of her. She was MINE. I waited for the voices to tell me she wasn't mine, but they never came. This female before me was the key to this. Twice now I've been in her company and the voices had gone away. Was she the key to stop the voices?

Ella: As I was moving up and down the pole, I glanced over at Murhder he looked a little uncomfortable as if he was having a little trouble in his pants. I didn’t mean to look but I had that feeling that this was going to be a good night, especially with a male I really wanted. I said to myself snap out of it, Ella I needed to focus on what was happening now. I slid down the pole and walked over to the chair Murhder was sitting in, dancing around the chair, swaying to the music. I moved behind him, as my hands came over the top of him, as my hands went down his shirt, I could feel the six pack on him, oh my his body was to die for. Licking my lips and moaning softly as my hands went lower, as I couldn’t keep them away from his body, growling softly as I moved my hands quickly away. Wondering what he was thinking right now.

Murhder:

Ella came closer to me, her hips swaying to the music. Jeez she was going to kill me here if she carried on like this. She went behind the chair, her hands gently placed onto my pecs and went lower, a groan escaped my lips as I pushed my hips up. If I didn't get my my shit together she be beneath in no time, but I didn't want to scare her, not like that. Ella came round to the front of me she bent in front of me, her fine ass was in my face. I didn't know if I was allowed to touch her or not but fuck it. With a shaky hand I touched her ass, fuck me she felt perfect. I couldn't wait till we were together with no interruptions

Ella:As I reached around to the front of the chair, I could see he was enjoying it, so i turned around and bent down my ass up in his face. I normally wouldn’t let anyone touch me but with Murhder it felt like I needed and wanted his hands all over me, A soft moan escaped my lips as his hands touched me, sending my body wild from his touch. Oh my I could feel myself down below as my knickers were so wet just from his touch. I placed my ass down in his lap as I swayed to the music as I could feel the bulge in his pants.

Murhder:

Ella sat into my lap, my cock was having its own party in my pants. I place my hands on her hips grinding hard against, I could smell her arousal, fuck she smelt gorgeous. I knew I wasn't going to last, I had to cum, to get the release that I needed. I continued to grind hard against her, list in my thoughts of her when fuuuuccckkk I came in my pants, shooting cum like this was my last ever orgasm. No other female had ever had this effect on me.

Ella: I grinded my ass more over his bulge, I could feel the hardness beneath ohh fuck...I have never ever felt like this before with any of my customers he made me feel whole. What was he doing to me, I could feel the heat hotting up between us, I knew either of us couldn’t hold on much longer and just like that a soft moan came out of my lips, when I knew that I had cum again in my knickers just from his touch, we continued to grind each other, when a loud growl came out of Murhder’s mouth, I just knew he had cum as well. Fuck...what was happening.

Murhder:

Our bodies stilled, we were sexually saturated from the erotic dance, but somehow I know she didn't do this other males. With that knowledge I felt better, in fact the bastards should be jealous of what had just happened between us, this was a union between us even though I had not entered her. Ella slowly got up from my lap, l slowly got up, reaching into my back pocket I took out a wad of bills. I have Ella two one hundred dollar bills. “Thank you. That was amazing” Ella showed me to the door, opening I noticed a male was waiting for her. I felt Ella tense beside me, this one I had to keep an eye on. I don't know how but I knew he was trouble.

Ella:As I got up from Murhder’s lap and he followed he reached his back pocket he took out two one hundred dollars. He placed them in my hands thanking me saying it was amazing, I was still in shock. I showed him to the door, as I opened the door I froze Jhason was waiting in his normal spot. I tensed as it has been awhile since he had been to see me. “Thanks Murhder, see you again soon.” As I watched him wonder off, wishing he was still here. Looking over to Jhason “what do I owe this pleasure you haven’t been around in ages.” He spoke back to me, “had fun in there I can smell it.” Looking back to him, “what is it to do with you, you are not my keeper. What do you want, Jhason?” “I wanted to see you, so here I am. I want a lap dance, Ella.” “I am sure I can fit you in but it won’t be long, it’s nearly home time.”

Murhder:

The male disappeared into the room, I ordered another bourbon and downed it, the club was winding down, it would be kicking out time soon. The door opened the male exited and he looked pissed but had gone out. I needed to keep my eye on that fucker “What you going to do?” “Go bat shit crazy on him?” Great the voices were back. Ella had exited the room, she had headed to the back. I went out of the club, I was going to go when I noticed the male hanging around in the alley by the back door. Staying in the shadows I waited to see what events were going to unfold. Ella emerged from the back door, the male was upon her, grabbing her arm, roughly shaking her. No fucker us going to lays their hands on my female. With a growl that came from the pits of my stomach I raced down the alley knocking the fucker off Ella. He turned to face me “What's your problem? She belongs to me” I looked Ella over “Sorry couldn't find a label that says property of a scumbag” The male was about to protest when I palmed my dagger that had been hiding in my jacket. I pinned the male against the wall, the dagger at his throat “No one touches her. Got it” My eyes were wild from rage. I dragged the dagger across his neck leaving a red streak. Positioning the dagger I tore through his tendons in his arms “Don't ever touch her again” I slashed his tendons in his legs “Don't ever go after her again” Picking him up I slammed him against the wall, taking out another dagger I stabbed him in both his palms pinning him to the wall. Taking out yet another dagger I gutted the fucker. A crazed look on my face “kill, kill, kil, KILL” the voices screamed. I turned around to look at Ella, her face was full of fear.

Ella: I couldn’t believe what was happening, Murhder had Jhason up against the wall a dagger in both his palms, and he just gutted him like butter wouldn’t melt. This is not the Murhder I know. I was just in shock as to what was happening in front of me. I was scared he would hurt me to. He told him I was his, but I am no ones, The look on his face said it all. “Kill, Kill, Kill.”  I just stood there in shock and couldn’t move.

Ella’sUnwelcomeVisitor #SASBDB