#I thought $400 for a face cream was a fucking abomination

[lihikainanea]

Tiger's plans a girls night in for her friends and they cancel on her last minute, but Bill steps up and lets her do whatever she wants to him, like face masks are a must, but she also gets to paint his nails and stuff. Even better, she gets head every hour and she's seriously loving a night of self care with Bill.

oh GOD this is sweet. Look, I fully, fully think Bill is pretty into skin care. A lot of dudes in Hollywood are, and they’re used to wearing makeup on the red carpet and getting ~glammed~ up before big events too so I think Bill lacks a lot of that gross toxic masculinity when it comes to things like gettin’ really pretty and having a pampering day.

and maybe-MAYBE OH GOD--maybe tiger sometimes steals his skin care stuff, because Bill is fucking rich and buys all the shit that she just won’t. $400 for a moisturizer? What the fuck. But Bill has an array of very expensive products and tiger has mastered the art of stealing just a little at a time, so that he doesn’t notice.

Let the record show that tiger has NOT mastered that art, and Bill very much notices. But he also knows that she won’t buy it for herself, and if HE bought it FOR her she’d be even more mad. So he just buys the big jar, leaves it in her bathroom, knowing full well she’s using it. And being smart enough to shut his damn mouth about it.

In any case, right, there’s this whole sleepover girl’s party planned, right? And Bill is mildly offended when the morning of, tiger tells him to get the fuck out and that she’ll see him tomorrow. Bill wants to be part of the party, offers to just stay in the kitchen and keep making the girls cocktails and food, but tiger tells him no. And he’s actually a little hurt, a little sad, and she can’t help but feel a little guilty when he pouts.

“Why do you even want to stay?” she asks curiously, “It’s going to be a totally girly night.”

He shrugs bashfully, digs his toe into the ground as he shoves his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t know, growing up there wasn’t a lot of...feminine energy in the house,” he mumbles, “I only have the one sister. It’s nice sometimes to just...be surrounded by...I don’t know. Gentle energy.”

“Weren’t you afraid of your sister when you were growing up?”

His head snaps up, and now he looks defensive, angry.

“I was not afraid--” he stops, taking a deep breath in when he realizes how shrill and loud his tone is, “Tiger I was not afraid of my sister.”

“Yes you were,” she accuses, “Alex said you were terr--”

“Alex is a dick,” he snaps, “Maybe he was the scared one.”

“Didn’t she used to chase you with--”

“Are we done here?” he snaps, makes a show of checking his watch, “I better get going. Your friends will be here in....12 hours.”

But she latches on to him, because now her big dude’s pride is all offended. She makes him hang around a bit more, help her get a few things ready, but over the course of the day some of the text messages start coming in. Two of her friends are sick with the flu going around, so they can’t make it. A third one has a migraine and is out. A fourth one was flaky to begin with, and ended up cancelling because her boyfriend was being a shithead about it. And tiger is bummed--she’s so bummed, because she was looking forward to a night of gossip and wine and fun girly things.

“This sucks,” she grumbles, and Bill pulls her in for a hug.

“Come on, we’re still going to do it.”

“How?” she pouts, “Everybody was supposed to bring something for the group. I only have a few eye masks.”

Bill smirks, grabs her hand, pulls her into the bathroom. He reaches up on a top shelf and pulls down a basket of luxury treats--truth be told, he was going to put a bow on it and leave it on tiger’s bed with a note to enjoy the night with her friends. She’d be less inclined to be angry with him if it was something he got to share amongst her group of friends, and she’d forget her anger as soon as they started gushing over it. Because man--it’s fully stocked. A beautiful little basket full of high end items, from scrubs and exfoliants to micellar waters to eye creams and moisturizers and jade rollers--it has everything.

“Bill, what the fuck,” she asks, pilfering through some it, “What is all this?”

“A basket of pampering,” he smiles, “Now come on, go uncork the champagne. We’ll start with a steam bowl to open up our pores.”

And it’s so ridiculous, right, but these two idiots just spend hours doing this. Cucumbers on the eyelids. Bill tells tiger all of the skincare secrets that a few of his make up artists have shared with him--like the jade roller. Tiger isn’t convinced, until he sits up on the couch and drags her to sit in front of him, between his knees. He tilts her face up gently, tells her to close her eyes--and then just starts running the little roller all over her face. And god--what a delicious image--tiger with her face craned up, her chin still in his hand, as he just slowly and soothingly rubs the wand all over.

Bill paints her toes as he waits for his exfoliating mask to dry, one of tiger’s headbands in his hair to keep his floppy locks from falling onto his forehead. She picks through the basket some more, and furrows her brow at some of the smaller items.

“Bill these are like, luxury samples from Sephora. How did you even get these?” she holds up a decent size bottle of an expensive shampoo, “These are only for Rouge members.”

For the first time that night, Bill’s cheeks turn a little pink. And it’s imperceptible thanks to the face mask, but his big ole shifty eyes are not.

“Oh god,” tiger rolls her eyes.

“Tiger it is a great points system,” he defends, “It would be irresponsible not to take advantage of it.”

She just sighs, takes a cucumber from the pile and flings it at him.