#I think you ought to have enough integrity as an artist to be able to turn people

[tariah23]

The tat would’ve looked great without the rising sun design in the background. People really need to start doing research on things before they get them marked onto their bodies for life… but even the woman in the qrt had mentioned that a client had reached out to her inquiring about getting the symbol tattooed onto her and that she didn’t really care about the history behind it. She just wanted it anyway (probably for aesthetics.)

[greatwyrmgold]

I've seen some people derogatorily comparing webtoons (the tall Korean webcomics) to classic webcomics popular in the 90's and oughts. And I do think there are worthy criticisms of the webtoon format, particularly how it's centralized on big apps, but they're designed well for their environment.

The reason I call webtoons "tall comics" is that they're presented as a continuous scroll of comic. The start of an episode is at the top, you scroll down to see the next panels, repeat until you reach the end of the episode. It's a very natural way to read comics on smartphones, the hardware webtoons were designed for. Every millimeter of screen space is used; navigation requires only inputs that the device is designed for; and artists have found plenty of ways to leverage their format for artistic or narrative purposes.

I don't think classic webcomics fit desktops that well. And I'm saying that as someone who likes webcomics; I've read a few continuously since the mid-oughts. Plus several that I didn't discover until later, or which debuted or died in that time, or both, or which I dropped because they got bad, or which never updated continuously, or...look, I've read more webcomics than most people, and I still think it's poorly-adapted to its native envirionment.

To make my point, here's a screencap showing what you might see if you read the first page of The Order of the Stick, the first webcomic I read.

There are exceptions, but some version of this is by far the most common "classic webcomic" page layout. (Out of the dozen-ish webcomics I'm following that update at least once a week, one has one panel per "page," one usually follows a more newspaper-comic-sized format, and the rest are roughly like you see above.)

In the middle is an image with roughly the dimensions and layout of a physical comic book page. Of course, an 8.5:11 image doesn't fit cleanly on a 4:3 screen, let alone 16:9. So either the image is stretched wide enough that you can't view the whole page at once, or it's compressed and leaves lots of space on both sides, or you find a grumpy medium that does a little of both.

On the device I'm writing this on, the entire OOTS page above can fit on one page, if I scroll carefully and turn off the bookmark bar. About a third of the screen is blank, distracting negative space. And it's not like more recent webcomics have fixed the problem. Here's the first page of Aurora, a webcomic that started in 2019.

The background to either side of the page is less blank, it doesn't clash with the comic as badly. The header is fancier, there's an integrated comment system, and the website design doesn't assume everyone's using a 4:3 display. But the comic is still presented as an image sized to fit a physical piece of paper, not a web browser. (It's not clear from the screenshot above, but Aurora's pages are twice as tall as my browser window, bookmark bar off.)

(And these are far from the worst examples. I like Girl Genius, it's one of the webcomics I've been keeping up with basically since I learned webcomics existed, but its website layout is so cluttered with ad boxes and toolbars and fancy brass borders around everything...)

For zoomers who haven't been reading classic webcomics for most of their lives, let me explain how it works. You click on page 1 and start reading, scrolling down with your mousewheel or arrow keys. Once you finish reading the page (it usually won't take long), you move your mouse to the "next comic" button at the bottom of the page and click it, then repeat the process about once a minute. Newer webcomics and ones which have updated their web design in the last decade usually let you click on the image to go to the next page, but that's hardly a guarantee.

Depending on the webpage, your device, and your temperament, you might settle into a rhythm that works. If the comic has consistent page sizes, you might be able to settle your cursor in the spot where the "next page" button will be once you've hit page-down enough times to reach the end of the page. I binged more webcomics than I can count like that.

But even at its best, it's nowhere near as elegant as simply scrolling through a webtoon a panel or two at a time.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 28 - ao3 -

The answer, it turned out, was paint.

It wasn’t an answer that Lan Qiren would have anticipated in any way, shape, or form. He had been under the impression, as had Lao Nie, that Wen Ruohan had stopped painting long ago. After some teasing by Lao Nie, the man had even off-handedly confirmed it at a private dinner they’d shared at a discussion conference – there had been more than usual planned in this past year, accounting for the fact that all of the Great Sect sect leaders (except Wen Ruohan) were unusually young, and therefore active. And although no one acknowledged it as a reason, everyone knew that it was also meant to help calm the concerns of the smaller sects regarding the chaos in their Great Sect leaders’ personal lives, between Jiang Fengmian losing his servant to his beloved or possibly the other way around, Lao Nie’s extremely bizarre marriage situation, and Lan Qiren stepping up unexpectedly to the position of sect leader on account of his brother’s retreat from the world.

According to Wen Ruohan, it hadn’t been anything in particular that had made him stop painting, only a lack of time and then of interest; there had been a severe crisis some time ago, long before either of them were born, and he had been obligated to devote himself exclusively to those affairs for an extended period of time. When he had finally resurfaced, years later, he had returned and found an old painting sitting there half-finished, and staring at it, realized that he was no longer the same man who had begun it.

He had never painted again.

Lan Qiren was unsure if this was a real story or not – Wen Ruohan, he had learned, seemed to consider the truth about his past to be little more than a gentleman’s agreement between friends – as it seemed to be an especially pointed reminder aimed at Lan Qiren’s situation in particular. 

Lao Nie had certainly taken it as such, throwing in his own concerns about Lan Qiren’s work schedule, and when even Cangse Sanren had joined the growing mob of all the rest of his friends, Lan Qiren had finally, if reluctantly, agreed to defer to their concern. He’d finally taken a step back and reorganized his duties as sect leader, standing his ground against the elders and insisting on having more time to devote to his own interests, including those outside of his work as a teacher – music, study, quiet contemplation, even maintaining his training with the sword, despite the fact that he would never match his brother as a sword cultivator.

It had, in fact, made him a better sect leader, less prone to working until he burned out, and he was grateful to his friends for their wisdom and steadfastness in the face of his stubborn grief.

At any rate, though, Wen Ruohan was no longer the painter he had been in his youth, and the hints of burning that marked all such paintings that Lan Qiren had seen suggested that the transition had been an unpleasant one for him. It was a surprise, therefore, to receive, as a gift from the Nightless City, a painting in that immediately recognizable hand which was so freshly made that Lan Qiren imagined he could still smell the grinding ink.

The painting depicted a dragon amidst a misty bamboo forest, its massive coils interwoven throughout the bamboo until it appeared almost part of the earth from which they sprung, or alternatively that speared through from above by a rain of spears; in its claw it held a beauteous dragon pearl, shining bright against the dark haze that surrounded the rest of the painting, and its eyes were fixed upon it as if it had forgotten all else.

The pearl, Lan Qiren presumed, was himself, given Wen Ruohan’s fondness for comparing him to one, which Lan Qiren still did not entirely understand – while he knew it was a sign of Wen Ruohan’s appreciation for him, and an indication that he treasured him, he thought that the particular choice in the type of precious stone was likely to be due to the fact Lan Qiren largely preferred white and grey and silver for his clothing. 

(Privately, he had determined that one day, out of sheer spite, he would wear an outfit primarily composed of blue for no other reason than to give the other man a shock; he just hadn’t found a reason yet to justify the expense of having such clothing made when he would only use it the once.)

Similarly, the dragon was the symbol of imperial might, of overweening power and influence and even arrogance; naturally that would be Wen Ruohan himself. But as for the rest of it – the lonely but beautiful bamboo forest, often associated with moral integrity and loyalty, yet juxtaposed in this painting as piercing spears, penetrating the dragon’s hide as if attacking him – the dark mist that seemed to envelop the dragon, held at abeyance only through the light of its pearl –

Lan Qiren did not understand.

There were too many meanings possible, and he did not know how to differentiate between those that were there and those he only wanted to read into it. There was nothing for it, but that he would need to ask the artist himself what was meant.

When, as expected, an invitation came a few days later, requesting that Lan Qiren visit the Nightless City in his capacity as Wen Ruohan’s sworn brother, Lan Qiren accepted.

There were all the necessary pleasantries when he arrived, of course. No longer could he just slip in through the back door, a younger brother come to leech off some resources from an elder; he was the Lan sect leader, and that came with certain obligations even on a casual visit. There were a few formal procedures, and then dinner with Wen Ruohan and his wives, with whom his dynamics had completely reversed – Madame Wen had thawed towards Lan Qiren on account of his new position as sect leader, which guaranteed that he would never be able to move to the Nightless City and thereby obstruct her personal power, while the new concubine, former maid, seemed to think that his involvement in her ascension to the position she now held was a matter of embarrassment, resulting in her wanting to snub him whenever possible.

Wen Ruohan largely ignored their antics, his eyes fixed on Lan Qiren throughout their meal, and afterwards, he had finally dismissed them all and taken Lan Qiren back to the small study he preferred to use for their time together.

“The painting you sent was lovely,” Lan Qiren said, playing a little with the cup of tea that was warm and aromatic in his hands. “You have lost none of your skill.”

“I rebuilt it,” Wen Ruohan corrected, looking amused. “You ought to have seen the first few efforts; I think I wasted enough paper to feed a small family for a year.”

Lan Qiren smiled at the thought. He could scarcely imagine Wen Ruohan struggling the way he described, making an effort and finding his ability wanting; still less could he have once imagined Wen Ruohan having admitted to that fact in front of another.

It was a little like what Lao Nie had said, that between the two of them they were excavating the residual humanity left in Wen Ruohan, slowly and methodically moving aside stone and dirt in order to find the treasures lurking beneath.

“I like it even more, then,” he said, and decided to be a little bit bold. “I like knowing that you thought of me for as long as it took you to make it.”

Wen Ruohan’s eyes curved in delight. “You need not be concerned on that score,” he said, his voice still calm and unhurried as always. “You are not so easily expelled from my thoughts, now that you have entered them…ah, little Lan, little Lan, you make me impatient! I had made plans on how to broach the subject with you, and yet now that you are here, I find myself rushing forward, intent to get to the point like some savage Nie.”

A savage Nie of whom he was exceedingly fond, he did not say, and Lan Qiren managed not to roll his eyes at him.

Instead, Lan Qiren put down his cup and folded his hands in his lap. “Don’t hesitate on my behalf,” he said, then added, a little dryly, “I’ve had enough indirect statements to last a lifetime.”

“Welcome to politics,” Wen Ruohan responded, just as dry, but his smile faded and his expression grew more intense; he stood and came closer to Lan Qiren, looking down at him for a long moment before taking a seat beside him. “Qiren, why are you here?”

Lan Qiren blinked, a little confused by the question, but before he could put together an answer, Wen Ruohan continued. “You are sincere and true to yourself; you follow your sect’s rules because you believe in them whole-heartedly and wish to live up to their strictures. Yet do they not say Do not associate with evil?”

“I don’t think you’re evil,” Lan Qiren said. “I think we disagree on what actions constitute evil, on what divides good from evil, and that you are more comfortable walking closely along that line than I. I think that there will be many times in the future where we disagree once again on what is or is not the straight path, and what is the crooked, but – fundamentally, I don’t think you’re evil.”

He considered the question for another moment longer, then added: “And if you were, what is there to do about it? You’re still my sworn brother, bound by oath and blood, and that makes you my responsibility whether I like it or not. Even if you were evil, the only thing that would be left for me to do would be to try my best to lead you out of the dark and back to the light.”

Wen Ruohan was watching him again. His red eyes were narrowed a little, his gaze as intense as it had been when Lan Qiren had been little more than a child, although experience had made it a little less overwhelming.

“You know that I see you as a pearl in the palm of my hand,” Wen Ruohan finally said. His voice was low and intimate, and Lan Qiren shivered to hear it. “A treasure I never expected to find, a gem of such surpassing purity that I fear it will burn me to dare profane it with my touch. Time is eternal; the pearl flows, the jade turns, and yet I remain, walking my crooked path and you your straight broad bridge, shining with righteousness. I see you and yearn for you both day and night, and even in my dreams…”

He reached out and put his hand on Lan Qiren’s. “I would have you be mine, if you would have the same.”

No hollowed-out puppets soon to be discarded here, Lan Qiren thought nonsensically, and swallowed.

“I am yours,” he said carefully, pronouncing each syllable at a time. He had to get this right, he thought, and he would only ever have this one singular chance to do so, or else he’d lose something as bright and shining as the pearl Wen Ruohan was always comparing him to. “I am your sworn brother, as you are mine; I will always be yours.”

“I know,” Wen Ruohan said, and it seemed for once that Lan Qiren had expressed himself clearly rather than muddling it up: he hadn’t misunderstood him into thinking that what Lan Qiren had said was a rejection. “If I were not one of those evil men that your rules warn you against, I would find it in myself to be content with that. But I am, and I am not.”

Lan Qiren wet his lips with his tongue. “You know what I told you,” he reminded him. “About how I – I could compromise myself if I had to, if it made you happy, but I don’t want to have to. That is not who I am, what I am. I don’t want to have to bend and yield. I don’t want to break under the weight of love the way my brother did.”

Wen Ruohan was watching him, patient and waiting.

“I’m not comfortable with that type of intimacy, the type shared between lovers since the start of time,” Lan Qiren finally said. “I don’t want it intrinsically, and I don’t think I want it logically, either. More than that, I don’t think, having never wanted it before and not wanting it now, that I will ever want it. My brother once compared me to a block of ice or a mountain lake frozen over in winter, frigid, and there was something true to what he said. There is no heat that will make me melt as others do…and yet.”

“And yet?”

“And yet you are not the only one who wishes to possess.” He met Wen Ruohan’s eyes. “I, too, would have you be mine.” 

His stupid Lan sect heart, burning a hole in his chest; it should have been enough to make him forget his own wishes and be willing to give in, to want to give everything to his beloved no matter the cost to himself, but it wasn’t – he wasn’t. And yet, at the same time, he judged his own affections to be no less than his brother’s for all that they were quieter and less flamboyant, understated rather than loudly proclaimed

Wen Ruohan leaned forward, bringing their faces closer together. “Then why don’t you claim me?”

“Because I cannot offer you what I should,” Lan Qiren said truthfully. “What you would expect –”

“And when,” Wen Ruohan cut him off, “have I ever cared for the expectations set out by the rest of the world? Would I have done half the things I did if I cared for the world’s conventions and determined my aims through their lens?”

Lan Qiren had to admit that he had a point.

“I know what you are,” Wen Ruohan said. “To taint you would be to ruin my own pleasure, to force you would be to deny myself – and I never deny myself. I am greedy, little Lan; I am not content with what the world would have me want, not when I can have what I really want.”

“And what is it that you want?”

“Lao Nie told me that he told you about his wife,” Wen Ruohan said. “How he stayed and she went, and they were still happy…I want that, with you.”

Lan Qiren frowned, not understanding.

“I want you,” Wen Ruohan told him, and his long-fingered hand traced over Lan Qiren’s cheekbone. “I want to have you, to own you, to keep you. I want to possess you down to the marrow of your bones; I want every inch of you in every way that I can have you. I want you to be mine – and I don’t need to fuck you to have it.”

Lan Qiren stared at him.

Wen Ruohan smile was like his smirk, triumphant and arrogant, certain of his impending victory. “If I want sex, I have my wives or Lao Nie for that, don’t I? To my wives I have only promised power, which I have given them. As for Lao Nie, I know now that he cannot promise me his heart: he is too facile, too free, too easy with others – he is compelled to share not only his body, which I wouldn’t mind, but also his heart, and I find that I am as unwilling to share in matters of the heart as you are to share your body.”

He shifted closer yet again, until their eyes were level with each other and their breath intermingled in the air between them.

“You will not be like him,” he said, voice dark and certain. “You’re barely willing to divide your attention to things you consider less important than your particular interests. Your heart is your clan’s curse and its treasure, taking you to the heavens and casting you down to the hells – if you give me your heart, full and entire, it will be as if you have removed it from your chest and put it in my hand. No one else will have any part of it, not like this, not in this way. It will only be me.”

“That is true,” Lan Qiren said. “I love no less deeply than my brother. My heart is a placid lake with a surface as clear as glass – you can see everything therein. Within it, there are only my interests, my nephew, my few friends, and you.”

Wen Ruohan’s smile widened.

“What exactly are you thinking?” Lan Qiren asked. His heart was beating in his chest so fast that it hurt. “If you want the assurance, you have it already: I am yours, and you are mine, and it would shatter me to let you go now. Is that what you want?”

“It is.” Wen Ruohan laughed, and it was full of pleasure. “Ah, little Lan! It is, it is.”

“What does it change?” Lan Qiren asked. “How is it different from what we have already?”

“It changes everything,” Wen Ruohan said simply, and Lan Qiren thought about and felt that he was right. “Knowing that you are mine makes it easier to release you into the world, to watch you shine and others see it; let them all look and know that it will never be theirs. All good things in the world are mine, and you are the best among them.”

“Pretty words,” Lan Qiren said, aiming for dry but probably just coming off as short of breath. “I’m a little more interested in the practical.”

“I would have you share my pillow while you are here,” Wen Ruohan said. “I do not need you to share your body with me, but I would have your company as a husband has his wife’s…and there are things that can be done without involving your body, depending on your tolerance.”

“Oh? Like what?”

Wen Ruohan grinned. “As it happens, that’s a matter I’ve given some considerable thought to…”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes, and felt the heat in his ears fade a little; he appreciated the small reprieve from the emotional intensity, the humor breaking the tenseness of the moment.

“You know I find you beautiful,” Wen Ruohan said, and this time his hand came to rest on Lan Qiren’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his lips, and as quickly as that the reprieve was gone. “Perhaps you would permit me to find my own pleasure beside you, gazing upon you, or even invite another to share the bed while you busy yourself with your work – you are never as beautiful as when you are focused, your soul and mind wholly absorbed in your passion for the subject. Perhaps I would invite you to read a spring book for me, spilling out dirty words in that cool tone of yours that you use regardless of the circumstance, so that I might torment myself with hearing you at any time and think of that…I have a thousand and one ideas, little Lan, and I would try them all to see which ones you like and which ones you don’t, to yield to your preference and glory in so yielding.”

None of that sounded like something Lan Qiren would dislike, he thought to himself; it really was only his own personal involvement in the act that he truly objected to. And if Wen Ruohan had Lan Qiren’s heart and Lao Nie’s body, and both their friendship besides, perhaps even he in his ceaseless ambition could find a way to be satisfied with what he had for a time.

“I would like that,” he said honestly.

“Then having gained a cun, I will take a chi,” Wen Ruohan said. “I would like to kiss you.”

Lan Qiren swallowed.

“…all right,” he said. “You may.”

And he did.

[angelic-serenade]

“losing game” || fukuzawa yukichi

gif does not belong to me, nor do the anime & characters

fandom: bungou stray dogs

pairing: fukuzawa yukichi x gn!reader (1st person pov)

warnings: angst, lots of hurt and no comfort, emotional distress, barely mentioned mental instabilty, plot twist

a/n: just a little something i managed to write during the few moments of free time from uni. read as a letter to yukichi from the second paragraph onwards!! hope you enjoy, let me know if you like the new lyric-prose style i’m experimenting with!

word count: 1434

synopsis/prompt:  “a broken heart is all that's left, i'm still fixing all the cracks” ― arcade, duncan laurence

there is something noteworthy and indistinguishably patronizing which marks the mere presence of one fukuzawa yukichi – be it his wise and almost all-knowing gaze or his imposing posture, the way he manages to command respect without so much as a gesture anywhere he stands. he is authority and justice and that’s the only manner he allows himself to be, the only partial impression he allows others to make of him. sometimes i fret there really might be nothing more behind the carved, relentless shadow than the steely stares and unmovable frowns, lines so deep and intensely depicted that one might think of them as unforgiving – of what one may never know, if the unforgiveness staggers from the same place where the thoughts in his mind convince him that peace is something to be fought for but to never be attained. though sometimes the rough edges, the hollowed lines marking a tiredness which some days, some way feels all too familiar for comfort give way to a softer, unmistakably caring look; it’s almost imperceptible, the way he manages to turn the cold and unforgiving watercolors into a beautiful masterpiece, the true talent of the unrecognized artist  – his eyes lose the usually guarded edge which serves to protect everything but himself, his strained lips imperceptibly curl at the edge of a smile and the way he almost lets his shoulders abandon the weight he carries as if it were an old, battered companion brings to mind a tender sort of sympathy that sticks and can never really be forgotten – or forgiven for that matter.

akin to the flourishing of the most precious cherry blossom, you never allow for these moments to last too long, nor do they recur as often as to make those you care for expect them – in that, i think of you as more alike to the orchid than the cherry, for whenever the mysteriously grim orchid blooms, one knows not to hope for more time than its evanescent beauty can offer. cherries come to be expected, granted, but orchids never kiss and tell and you end up entangled either way. and after all, is it not the inevitable transience of things that makes them all the more desirable? if you heard me talking this way, with flowers and art and everything fulfilling in this life on my lips, singing your praises as if you were my last day of spring and sunlight, i’m sure you’d scoff the silliness away – this is your way, the way things have always been and always will be. no matter what you seldom sternly say, i’ll always be fonder of orchids than cherry blossoms anyway, for in their grave allure i found my own kind of tragic beauty.

by now i am convinced that you know and have always known exactly how much power you yield and how little you’d need to make me forget my own sadness – those moments, the careless slips of that bleeding heart of yours, are never meant for me. it pains me so to stand by your side without being able to bask in your praises, but that’s just how things are supposed to be – i am in your life, and that’s all i will ever need. sometimes you look at me as if you expect to see something - or someone – else in my place and i always end up trying to fill the void left behind by an illusion i don’t even know the name of. there is a hole that feels like an aching fever permanently carved into my soul, it spreads like an illness each and every time your voice creeps into my mind; even now i think of you and suddenly i feel much worse and better at the same time because you can never be the cure, but you sure as hell turned into my favorite medication. when i’m not by your side, in your beloved agency with your beloved family – the only ones allowed to walk alongside you into the sun - i delude myself into thinking i somehow may get over these terrible feelings that stretch my mind and hollow my heart, desperately convincing myself that time will wash away all of the promises kept in your sleeve. but sometimes, times that are just some and so unbelievably others, far in between and still so unfathomably precious to me, sometimes you let me hope and crave and i am almost convinced it could maybe be enough. the truth is that i have only ever known pain and i learned to make an addiction out of it.

once you called me by your side and i was quick to follow, as i always am because it’s you after all. under the feeble setting sun, the words spilled faultlessly from your lips, as if they had been composed to the likelihood of those poems about tragedy and grace i was stubborn enough to keep reading at night, and i stood in awe as you let me sip the most bitter of nectars, an aftertaste so haunting i knew it would forever ruin any chance of escaping this, of escaping you. welcoming the sudden flood with far more haste and yearning than i’d like to admit, you told me many things that day – about the agency, about your duty, about mine-, but you did not dare to utter my name even once, as you never did. you thanked me – me, little old, battered and faded, wide eyed and heavy-hearted me with no home to turn to and no more dreams in my closet to spare. you who had retrieved the pandora box and sealed it shut with your bare hands, you who had showed me another way, another path that nearly splintered my spirit all over again. i smiled still and for the briefest passing moment i almost hoped for you to reciprocate the minutest hint of affection; you raised your hand and rested it on my shoulder – it was warm, and it felt like water, like the purest form of unattainable salvation and i almost found myself crying in front of your unshakeable stance.

there was another time when you did gift me the smile i so desperately wished to keep for myself and i burn still, because look at what you made of me and what did you reduce my integrity to – i am neither blessing nor curse, the limbo of your love turned me into a willing martyr rejoicing the smallest act of kindness. you ruined me and i let you. i let you because a singular moment of bliss was worth the relentless tortures of your inferno.

i follow you around and keep you company still, but you never seem to acknowledge my unyielding pestering (just like before). when you let your guard down, my eyes lose themselves in yours because i can never completely understand what goes on in that obliviously rigid mind of yours – you look apathetic or sad or something that’s quite in between. oftentimes i worry for you, but you have always managed to cope and stand strong even as the tide came to wash away the last footprints of a decaying era, i believe you ought to keep doing so for another lifetime still. you have people who are dear to you as you are to them and for how much you’re unwilling to admit it, i also know that you keep a picture of me in your pocket, the one hidden on the inside of your austere kimono, somewhere between your contrite self-loathing and the lovely remnants of the day. when you think i can’t see you, i notice you make a habit of touching the spot where it’s concealed as if to remind yourself i am something right within your grasp, but that you’d never allow yourself to have. you never take me out of that pocket to properly relish the view and i will never ask you to. you grew fond of another illusion, as you’re prone to always do.

“the road to hell is paved with good intentions” i chant to myself when no one is listening, for my good intentions have only ever been inspired by you and burning and rotting in hell now barely sounds like a threat at all if i got to hear your praise just one more time.

today as you once again kneel pathetically curved upon my solitary grave, i can hear you weep yet; it’s been a while since you came to see me but finally for the first time, you call my name –

maybe you really did love me after all.

[philosopherking1887]

Here’s my view on the Joss Whedon thing in a nutshell:

We do have a moral obligation to believe and support Charisma Carpenter, Amber Benson, Michelle Trachtenberg, Ray Fisher, and anyone else who comes forward with stories of abuse.

We do not have a moral obligation to stop liking or being capable of enjoying Buffy, Angel, Firefly, The Avengers, etc.

Rewatching them critically, with an eye to how the creator’s faults come through in the work, is important; but I don’t think we can say “we should have known” just from the works themselves (we already knew, more or less, from stories that were circulating; but that’s not the same as being able to tell from the work). We shouldn’t give in to the temptation of thinking that we’ll be able to spot the next predator or abuser by scrutinizing their shows and movies closely enough for sexist tropes. There are sexist tropes in a ton of media, and we can’t always know whether it’s because the writer/showrunner is a creepy misogynist abuser or just because we live in a patriarchal culture.

There’s another post going around warning people not to start saying “I never liked his work” or “his work was always bad” because that implies that people who did like it are condoning his behavior. I’m not going to reblog that because there are some other things I don’t agree with, including the implication that this only applies in the past tense. I don’t think that continuing to like the work is condoning his behavior.

For years, since stories about his behavior have been leaking out and people have become more sensitive to the elements of sexism present in the work, people have been claiming that he’s a bad writer in other ways -- that he’s bad at characterization and character development, or writes bad dialogue (while misinterpreting and misattributing lines...) -- and I think it’s because they’re uncomfortable with the idea that bad people can make good art. We all know how much moral and aesthetic virtue have become conflated in Tumblr (and now Twitter) fandom: everyone seems to assume that your moral worth can be determined from the media you like and the fic you read. It’s simply impossible in that worldview for a morally bad person to have made anything with aesthetic value.

Because I think bad people can make good art, I think there’s genuinely something to enjoy and appreciate in their work and that people can’t be required to stop responding to it. My view (which I ought to write a paper on one of these days) is that Your Mileage May Vary: the knowledge of the creator’s sins might interfere with some people’s experience of the work so much that they can no longer enjoy it; but that’s not true of everyone. Sometimes that will have to do with how closely those sins resonate with the viewer’s experience; the discussion of male vs. female writers’/critics’ responses to Woody Allen movies in Claire Dederer’s essay “What Do We Do with the Art of Monstrous Men?” comes to mind. But as she also says, some women will still like some of Woody Allen’s movies -- or Joss Whedon’s shows. (Some Jewish philosophers work on Heidegger. I don’t get it, but that’s their prerogative.)

I consider it a no-fault disagreement. The people who can’t enjoy the work because of their moral response are missing real aesthetic value, but they aren’t aesthetically culpable (inasmuch as that’s a thing); and people who can still enjoy it may be less ‘morally sensitive’ in the sense that their moral emotions are less thoroughly integrated with their aesthetic evaluation system, but that doesn’t automatically make them bad people -- just continuing to enjoy a work of art (as opposed to giving the artist money) doesn’t hurt anyone.

[bailey-reaper]

The Lord of the Manor (4)

Summary: Barok refuses to let anything get in his way this time: today he will go to visit his brother and pay his respects...

Content Warnings: suicide references (specifically suicidal thoughts), angst + me taking artistic liberties re: the van Zieks family

Other parts:  (1)  |  (2)  |  (3)  |

At some point he'd fallen asleep in Klint's room, though he couldn't remember the precise moment. He was propped up against the footboard with his legs tucked up close to his stomach. The first thing he noticed when he moved was a stiffness in his shoulders and neck. Hardly the most sensible way of sleeping...

Suddenly a loud rumble of thunder echoed overhead, causing the windows of the ancestral home to rattle. Clearly a storm had rolled in overnight.

After stretching until his bones cracked pleasingly, Barok drew back the curtains that covered the large bow windows of the master bedroom and looked out at the landscape. Rain pelted the earth in torrential sheets and lightning lanced across the sky as if momentarily tearing it. This was a most severe storm.

If he were the superstitious or god-fearing sort, then he might have considered that some form of divine force was trying to keep him away from his brother’s grave. Thankfully he was not so limited in his thoughts. Instead, Barok was incredibly stubborn and he had resolved to visit Klint’s grave that day – so that was what he would do.

Of course, taking Black Gale out in such hideous conditions was out of the question. He’d have to go for a ride on a more pleasant summer’s day, perhaps to the orchard or along the coast...

For now, he went to his room to dress in simple clothes and sturdy knee-high leather boots. The path to Klint’s grave would be muddy, so practical footwear was essential. He knew full well his clothes would become drenched quickly, so he donned a shirt and jacket of reasonable hardy material and breeches of similar quality. Once he was dressed, he made his way downstairs to the Grand Vestibule.

“M-My lord!” Harvey hurried over looking deeply concerned, “Surely you do not intend to go out in middle of this storm?”

“I’m going to visit Klint,” Barok replied as he took his cloak from the row of hangers by the door.

“Begging your pardon, my lord, but, surely it could wait until tomorrow? I’ve heard tell that this storm is merely passing on its way to Spain...”

“I appreciate your concern, Harvey, but you need not worry about me. I have to do this... I postponed my visit yesterday on account of factors outside of my control, I’ll be damned if I do that a second time...” an odious noble was one thing, a torrential storm was another. He had no qualms about leaving himself at the mercy of the elements.

“... If you’re sure, my lord...” the old butler had handled enough van Zieks’ lords during his tenure as a servant of the house to know that they were all of a similar stubbornness and driven by their sense of principles. If the young Lord had decided he must visit Klint’s grave then that is what he would do by hell or high water, “... Just do be careful out there and take shelter if the storm worsens....”

“Yes, I will promise you that much,” Barok said as he donned his cloak and opened the door. A sharp gust of wind violently tousled his hair as it howled through the air like a frenzied ghost. He lowered his head and stepped out into the squall, pulling the door shut despite the insistent push of the wind against him. Rain pelted down, taking but a few moments to soak his hair until it was clinging to his face. He ignored the hostile elements and pressed on in the direction of Klint’s grave.

By horse the journey was some 10 minutes away, on foot it was closer to 20 and his progress was slowed by the wind in his face and the unsteady earth beneath his feet. Despite that, he was able to navigate the familiar banks and pathways of the forest that had been a favoured haunt of his since he was a boy. Even with the gloom of the storm clouds over head, he knew the way like the back of his hand.

“Blast! Of all the times for a storm to hit!” he could hear Klint’s voice as his mind reflected on a time they’d been hunting and a similarly fierce squall had rolled in, “Come little wolf, we’ll need to find shelter!”

He nodded and followed behind as Klint led the way to a large bank that over hung like a roof, they crouched down and looked out from their semi-sheltered vantage point at the chaos, “It doesn’t look as though it’ll pass any time soon,” Barok observed.

“Mmmm, I think you’re right, so we might as well amuse ourselves in the meantime.”

“Oh? How so?”

“Well, I heard that someone came home late last night in quite an intoxicated state,” Klint was grinning impishly, “Care to tell me about your debauched night of revelry?”

“. . . .” Barok coughed, “I discovered that I’m not much for mixing drinks...”

“Ah... and what did my little brother mix?”

“.... Well, I might have tried to see what all the fuss with beer is about, before switching back to wine,” Barok massaged his temples as he recalled just how rotten he’d felt first thing that morning, “...I’m firmly of the view that beers, ales and stouts are not for me.”

“That was a fatal error of judgement on your part, have you never heard ‘grape or grain, but never the twain‘?”

“Apparently I missed that particular sermon on the subject of drinking...” Barok replied dryly, which only seemed to amuse Klint further as he laughed harder, “I doubt I’ll forget it in a hurry, however...”

“Sometimes the best lessons are the practical ones, Barok.”

“... Yes, perhaps they are...”

A bright flash of lightning and sharp crack of thunder roused him from his daydreams and reminded him that his focus ought to be on the journey ahead rather than a trip down memory lane. It wasn’t far to the family burial grounds; a small mercy at least. He covered the rest of the distance briskly, passing through the cast iron gates and along the path of cobblestones and dirt to the mausoleum where his brother slept. He opened the door and stepped inside, dripping water all over the stone floor as he went; his first act was to light the candles that were dotted around the room, which he did by taking the box of matches that were stored in an alcove by the door and striking one.

Soft candlelight twinkled around him, casting shadows across the walls that danced and swayed deliriously; their movements slowed once he closed the door to the tomb over enough to block out the wind.

Finally he was here, with Klint once more.

“... I’m sorry for my tardiness brother,” he said softly as he knelt down before the stone where his brother’s name was engraved, “... I found myself in the talons of Lady Darlington yesterday, and you nowhere in sight to distract her...” he snorted to himself at the thought, “I dare say you’d have found my performance quite amusing.”

His gaze lifted to the ceiling of the crypt, “... No doubt you’d scold me for coming here in such a bedraggled state, well, not so much that as willingly walking out into a storm. You’ll have to forgive me for that...”

For a while, he knelt in silence; his voice stilled in his throat as he wondered what had compelled him to come out in such hostile conditions. Eventually he found his voice, “I... no doubt I sound quite mad to you, but, I wonder if you’re still here with me... You know, there are rumours abound in the Capital that your ghost follows me wherever I go and exacts revenge upon those who escape my prosecuting them through some dint in the law.“

“It’s nonsense, isn’t it?” he looked down at the gravestone once more, as if holding out for some sort of sign, “... It has to be, surely, because I’d like to think if you truly were still here then you might show me by some means other than violence... And yet, I’m desperate enough that I’ll take it. I just can’t bear the thought that you’re gone.”

Klint had always been a symbol of what was right and just in his mind, so it did not sit well with him to picture his brother as a vengeful apparition whose sole purpose was to dispatch of the criminals who managed to worm their way out of the noose. Yet, when he first heard those wild tales whispered on the lips of the common folk and the nobility alike, how he wanted to believe it. No matter how much it cut against the grain of what his brother had embodied for him; it was better than accepting that he was dead.

Anything was better than that, surely.

“... Of course, the world goes on and the sun and the moon wheel through the sky as they always have, and those who once held you in such high regard slowly begin to forget you... but for me it’s as if time stopped five years ago. I... still cannot come to terms with the thought that you’re no longer here. So, if you are the Reaper, I hope you will stay by my side until my time comes...”

He’d contemplated joining his brother. Sometimes it felt like the only logical thing to do. The world seemed so cold and devoid of vibrancy without Klint in it. Like someone had stolen the sun. Of course, he couldn’t go through with it – at first he had to bring his brother’s killer to justice, it had consumed his every waking moment. He’d read the case file until he could recite it with his eyes closed; until he dreamt of the autopsy report.

Then, once he’d gotten some semblance of justice for Klint, his thoughts had started to wander to the notion that his purpose was now fulfilled and there was nothing left to keep him here; but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It wasn’t what Klint would have wanted. If there were an afterlife, what kind of expression would his older brother wear when he arrived there prematurely? He could practically hear the disappointed words whenever he thought about it.

“Oh little wolf.... how could you?”

And it was that which stayed his hand.

Instead, he’d thrown himself into being a prosecutor; to following in Klint’s footsteps and maintaining his legacy. His brother had believed so deeply in justice and integrity, and he would honour that memory by doing his damnedest to hold the corrupt and evil to account for their crimes. It was all he could do.

And yet, he’d even failed at that. He ran away from the Old Bailey, too overwhelmed by the Reaper mythos and the gravity it put upon his shoulders...

“I hope you will forgive me, brother,” Barok murmured, voice strained as he tried to swallow back the desperate sadness in his core, “I’ve been a poor substitute for you... I was unable to save you from the Professor... and now I’m not even capable of continuing your legacy as a Prosecutor... Truth be told, I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m at such a loss.”

“I’m so tired, Klint...”

[fuckyeahcharmcaster]

Post 666 on this blog

How about commemorating it by analyzing a recent Twitter thread by none other than Geoffrey Thorne, writer of the much-maligned (and deservedly so) “Couples Retreat”?

Immediately a falsehood - McDuffie never ran Ben 10 and Thorne never pitched/wrote for it. 

It was Ben 10: Ultimate Alien (the rebranding of the series Ben 10: Alien Force) that McDuffie ran and Thorne pitched/wrote for. He should have used “franchise” rather than “show”.

REMEMBER THIS. It will be important later.

Hoo boy, here we go....

1. Given which episode it was, I wouldn’t call that “lucky”.

2. It seems like Thorne is definitely the guy behind the alleged spin-off Dwayne McDuffie proposed to the network. In regards to that I respect his passion, but not much else.

3. OK, some context is needed here: he is calling himself a “Charmcaster shipper” because this entire thread was sparked because one of his writer buddies who works on Supergirl was getting a lot of grief from Kara/Lena (”Supercorp”) shippers about how things have gone down on that show. But the problem is that this makes no sense - you cannot be a “shipper” of just one character. What he is describing is being a Charmcaster fanboy, NOT a “shipper”.

…..Where do I even START?

1. First off is the most glaring part: Thorne has completely re-arranged the order of events in his mind. The episode which making explicit that Charmcaster was evil and crazy, “The Enemy of My Frenemy”, aired BEFORE his episode, not after. Also, it wasn’t even separate by “a few weeks later”, it was literally just one week. I can’t believe he got this so wrong.

2. “There was much back patting when my Charmcaster episode came out”. HUH? I sure as Hell don’t remember much in the way of back-patting; most people were disgusted by it and also still upset about the previous episode. This is flat-out revisionist history on Thorne’s part.

3. I truly believe that Charmcaster being “straight-up evil and not a little bit crazy” was NOT meant to be the take-away from “The Enemy of My Frenemy”, which is why it ended in the way it did. But because what Charmcaster did in that episode was fucking genocide, that’s still exactly the take-away many viewers took away from it, and if even Thorne has come out and admitted that it was his take-away from it too, then you KNOW that episode fucked up.

4. “These were adults, mind you” - aaah, so in spite of him previously throwing shade at live-action folks throwing shade at animation because it was seen as “kids’ stuff”, suddenly he’s throwing shade at adult fans of an animated series for being emotionally affected by it. What a fucking hypocrite. I guess the millions upon millions of adult viewers who were outraged by what befell Daenerys Targaryen of Game of Throne are justified because that show is live-action, but there’s something wrong with adult viewers if they have a problem with this?

5. The biggest insight here: there really wasn’t any communication between the writers of UAF...and what’s more, Dwayne McDuffie didn’t bother tightening up the scripts enough to make them consistent, nor apparently did he tell any of the writers crucial information they probably ought to know when writing their episodes. Why was Charmcaster’s behavior so different in “Couples Retreat” compared to where “The Enemy of My Frenemy” left off? Because Thorne didn’t know about that episode. Why did Kevin suddenly act hypocritically scornful toward Charmcaster in “Couples Retreat” despite empathizing with her at the end of “The Enemy of My Frenemy”? Because Thorne didn’t know about that episode! Heck, it was clearly McDuffie who put in lines like “Charmcaster killed us” in the final script, since that little detail took Thorne completely by surprise when “The Enemy of My Frenemy” aired. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Dwayne McDuffie SUCKED when it came to this franchise!

Thorne then talks of rude fan harassments he got afterward, and on this count I’m actually siding with him because that kind of crap is never acceptable. But then he gets to this, which he claims was an email response he gave to a certain belligerent fan before blocking them:

Oooooh, now he’s doing the number thing! Convenient!

1. Maybe not intentionally, but you certainly have been spreading several falsehoods. 

Also, you actually used the “Internet Tough Guy” routine? Really?

2. Solid point, but I do question just how many kids were “amused and excited” by the stuff that UA, especially in its second season, did. I especially question how and why a creepy, dysfunctional, possibly ephebophilic relationship is supposed to “amuse and excite” children.

3. HIGHLY presumptuous. Not every show has the same effort put into it, and even on shows were effort is clearly being put into one or more department, other departments may suffer. Game of Thrones is one such example: the writers there admitted to not giving a crap. No matter how stellar the acting, music, design, effects, etc. were the whole way through, the writing suffered more and more and it ultimately decimated the positive view of the series.

4. OK, I will personally agree with that statement. Others, however, may not.

Case in point, this excerpt from the South Park episode “Free Hat”:

George Lucas: These are my movies. I made them, and I have the right to do whatever I want with them. Stan:  You're wrong, Mr. Lucas. They're not your movies. They're ours. All of ours. We paid to go see them, and they're just as much a part of our lives as they are of yours. Kyle: When an artist creates, whatever they create belongs to society.

For the record, I believe there is truth to be found in both arguments. I think the ideal stance is somewhere in the middle, where creators are allowed to be held more accountable by the public for the things they put out but are also not controlled and told what to create by fans. Sadly, at the moment I have no idea how such a system that would enable this would work.

I post this last part because the replies it got from two Supercorp shippers are hilarious:

In one ear, out the other. I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost.

But that does bring up a good final point: while the fictional nature of fictional characters should absolutely never be forgotten to the point where real people are being hurt (the Star Wars franchise has plenty of horror stories where that has happened) and it certainly sounds like there were some verifiable nuts who went after Thorne, there’s a difference between that kind of insane harassment and customers being able to use a platform to call out the creators when they feel like a huge disservice to characters who mean a lot to them has happened. Simply asking for some basic consistency and integrity to be maintained with fictional characters, or asking for creators to stop stringing fans of characters along with false promises like queerbaiting, is not unjustified. Again, I must bring up South Park here.

Kyle: I think... they are real. It's all real. Think about it. Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he... he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny and, a-and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of "real”? They might be imaginary, but, but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around long after we're dead. So in a way, those things are more realer than any of us.

Fictional characters matter to people in ways that are real. Fiction can change the world.

And I don’t believe asking that those characters be treated well is a crime of any sort.

[smuttymess]

bts astro soulmate reading | for anon

sign: libra sun | aries moon | libra rising

lover: Min Yoongi | soulmate: Jung Hoseok

This reading is for my cute anon moot. Honestly this one was tough because your chart is quite unique, but I am really happy with how it turned out - I fuckin snapped on this one. I hope you enjoy & it feeds your inner delulu ;)

A sun in Libra means that your soul craves balance, harmony and peace in your life and your relationships. Due to your caring, optimistic, and encouraging nature you happily boast a large circle of friends and acquaintances who adore you. Generally, you are known as a king person who people can rely on for a vent sesh or some good advice in a pinch. Upholding your integrity and high position in these interpersonal relationships is one of your highest priorities, as you want to maintain the persona you’ve established at all costs. Above all, you want to be respected and loved by those who you are close to and even sometimes those you are not, fearing unsteadiness and turbulence in terms of your image. If your sun sign represents what you want, you moon sign represents what you need. And you, Aries moon, needs fire, excitement, stimulation, and adventure. Your Aries nature is at odds with kind, harmonious Libra, wanting to disrupt, rebel and shake things up. This creates quite an interesting contradiction within your truest self, which desires both balance, security and stability but also independence and unpredictability - a dilemma that you may struggle to find peace with throughout your life.

Charming, attractive and strong, it is likely that you have your share of admirers. You can’t help it (you flirt as easily as you breathe!) plus your slightly mischievous demeanor only makes you more alluring to those you meet. This works out for you nicely, as given your Libra nature you love nothing more than to be adored romantically. One of the most passionate signs in the zodiac, it’s not unlike you to be involved in many romantic relationships, falling in love easily and unabashedly with a variety of people who come into your life. While one day you may envision an a home and a more stable life (your Libra heart at work) that thought can feel somewhat foreign when there are just so many people, places and things to explore.

Your adventurous spirit and joie de vivre makes you the life of the party, the one people call for a good conversation or a night of debauchery. It is not uncommon for your friends to entrust you with scoping out the next opportunity to get into a little trouble, knowing you will find the best option. While your Libra is happy to have a wild night out, your Aries moon usually wants to up the ante - why go to a regular old bar when you could go to a secret, underground lounge that boasts go-go dancers and fire eaters. It is at one of these events, a lavish multi-course dinner at a downtown music venue to kick off a long, eventful night, that your attention is drawn to the stage for the night's entertainment. From the minute you lay your eyes on the performer on stage, his hands gripping the microphone as his piano accompaniment dances through the air, you are fully entranced by the artist. Your Aries moon makes you much more decisive than others who share your sign, and you decide quite quickly that this boy with the black hair and broody mannerisms is what you need. Soon after leaving the stage, you make a flimsy excuse to get his attention, sauntering up to him and immediately making yourself known - his dark, slightly glossy eyes penetrating every inch of you as he introduces himself as Min Yoongi. There is a strong physical attraction here, and when he asks what you're up to after the show, you have no choice but to invite him along to the next spot.

In the hours, days and weeks that follow in getting to know Yoongi, you learn more about the beautiful soul that lies beneath the very strong, masculine persona that owns the stage. As air and water signs, you two connect quickly - fucking after a couple rounds of whiskey back at his place - after which you spend hours tapping into the mind of the soft and creative Min PD. Yoongi is a true Pisces, his caring, romantic and sentimental nature clear very early as he sits back and enjoys simply basking in your company, letting you open up and taking you in as your eyes light up, energetically moving from thought to thought (as you are ought to do). His dreamy, patient and sensitive quality is heightened by his Neptune in Capricorn, providing a softness that makes you fall hard and fast. He is drawn to your demonstrated strength, his more reserved, thinking Virgo Moon latching on to your confident, optimistic Libra Aries duality.  He possess a graceful, calm quality from his Libra Jupiter that you deeply admire, as it is something you seek within yourself. You are both generous, peace-loving people, finding comfort in each other's propensity for pleasing each other. This extends into your sex life as well, which is equal parts passionate and intense.

You and Yoongi are both wired for pleasure and togetherness, and as a duo you are able to satisfy both of these desires, devoting countless hours to daydreaming, cuddling and fucking in his studio or at home. You two enjoy switching up power-play dynamics, you straddling him and pinning his hands to the bed while gently marking his neck to release moans from his lips before he uses his strength to flip you over and return the favor. Your sexual compatibility is not to be understated, the passion both of you possess being some of the most powerful in the zodiac.The concept of time ceases to exist when you find yourself intertwined with Yoongi, his hardness pressed into your center as he grinds against you, his lips expertly tracing your ear, and neck before moving to your breasts to tease your nipples until you're practically falling apart. For however soft and gentle Yoongi is, there is nothing that turns him into an animal quicker than hearing you beg underneath him as his fingers trace lower, slipping in between your thighs and onto your clit. He craves this level of intimacy with you, the moment you melt and truly become his. Say my name baby, I want to hear you.

It is only after months of amazing sex and pillow talk with this dreamy duo that he differences between you become very stark. Yoongi is a diehard romantic at the core, often making decisions in love that are more emotion-based - the main reason why he keeps his Pisces Sun and Mercury quite guarded. You, on the other hand, tend to be wary of commitment and tend to keep things casual and light, your Aries moon wanting freedom and autonomy. This scares Yoongi, who is quite willing to be loyal to the right person and wonders if he can really be enough for your highly sociable and outgoing Libra spirit. This is heightened by your strong need to be around people, receiving stimulation from the outside world, fueling his increased neediness (his Venus in Aries) that eventually transforms into resentment as he cannot see a future wherein you are ready to give it all up just for him. Ultimately, this relationship unable to move past a very intense friends-with-benefits scenario given your places in life, and you both need ample space to heal your wounds after going your separate ways - though you are not alone for long.

A double Libra, the way you present yourself - poised, polished, and elegant - and how you want to be perceived are very much in sync. You exude luxury, and and while your fashions may not be the loudest or most expensive in the room, you know how to make an impression even in a room filled with trendy, designer-clad fashion types. On a particular night out at a gallery opening, dressed in one of your newest thrifted and expertly styled pieces, you find yourself approached by a handsome stranger. Great find. Where did you get that that? Turning around, you are surprised by man who the voice belongs to - a tall, slender gentlemen dressed head to toe in contrasting prints: an asymmetrical color-blocked striped sweater and denim cutoffs paired with orange slides and a green beanie. His look is unusual, something that just anyone could pull off, but it striking nature of his posture and his face that truly has you staring. His hair parted to the side, you're able to take in the full visual of the man: his piercing dark brown eyes, sharp nose and defined jawline. After some light conversation, he offers to grab a drink sometime, which is less of a request than a demand as before you know it he hands you his card, the length of his fingers brushing yours and sending chills up your spine. He flashes you a devilish smirk before exiting the exhibit almost as swiftly as he arrived, prompting you to exhale as you begin to feel the ground beneath you once more.

In the early stages of dating, you two are both delightfully hard to get, the ego of his Aquarius Sun exhilarated by the chase and you turned on by the charming elusiveness of his personality - classic Air sign energy at play. Initially, see each other as enigmas, as things to be explored and conquered. You soon realize that his emotional detachment is merely a facade, a way to protect his fierce independence and ensure he does not get hurt again - something you can relate to quite well. Aquarius Hobi is highly perceptive, quickly able to put a finger on the pulse of who you are and what you want, seeing past your gentle, calm persona and tapping into that very restless, energized and mischievous Aries that beneath the surface of your do-gooder Libra. Initially, what starts as a more physical relationship and attraction to each other's complexity blooms into something much deeper and more profound as you get to learn each others shared insecurities and powerful internal worlds that are constantly thinking and reaching for new challenges. While you typically want to be fawned over and doted on, you enjoy diving beneath his into his independent, strong-willed and no-nonsense exterior (hello director Hobi) and accessing his softer sides - something very few people can do - through intellectual communication and shared experiences in your various social groups. Though slow to commit emotionally, once you are able to tap into his Venus in Pisces, you get to unearth the beauty of his dreamy, playful, sweet and adoring persona, which is in endless supply once he feels that he can trust his heart with your compassionate Libra soul.

By the time you find yourself naked in Hoseok's room for the first time, you are keenly aware that your physical relationship together is a space wherein you will surrender in ways you haven't been able to with anyone else. You in your Libra/Aries combo you possess both masculine and feminine features and an ability to both disarm and enchant but also dominate, but in bed it is Hoseok who more often than not holds the keys to your pleasure. His Aquarius ways makes him one of the least conventional and spontaneous partners in the zodiac, and this paired with his intense and impulsive Jupiter in Scorpio makes him an extremely passionate and engaging lover. He instinctively knows where to touch you to send you over the edge, having an awareness of your body that is almost unnerving - his ego loves knowing he has that control and you enjoy his slight posessiveness, enjoying role play during your regular nights out on the town. There are few things sexier to you than watching his eyes peering over his glass from across a room as he watches you so casually flirt with strangers, his gaze moving from your lips down over the curves accentuated by your outfit fo choice, knowing full well that the same outfit will be ruined within seconds of getting home. Your Aries moon is exhilarated when paired with the inventive Aquarius, who does not even think about fucking you until you've achieved your third consecutive orgasm by his fingers and tongue in the backseat of the car on your way home, you legs draped over his shoulders as he purrs into your folds. It isn't until after he feels satisfied that he unbuckles his pants and thrusts into you vigoursly, hitting your walls as his low voice coos into your ear. Are you thinking about him, baby? You know damn well only I can fuck you like this. Now be a good girl and tell me who you belong to - don't be shy now.

You and Hoseok are like-minded, airy souls, and together you are an extremely sociable and likable pair that enjoys life’s many pleasures and pushing the boundaries of the status quo. You work well as unit to achieve your individual goals, affording each other the delicate balance of freedom and togetherness your signs both truly need in a partnership but few others are able to provide, effectively eliminating the desire to stray. At the end of a long day of independent endeavors, you are both able to come home to each other and keep the fire burning in creative ways - think candlelit nights at home in with a personal chef followed by Hobi tying your wrists up and enjoying you for dessert. Your inner worlds compliment each other: the boundless encouragement of your double Libra serves as a healing tool for his relentless perfectionist and self-critical nature, while his dedication to excellence helps push you away from your indecision and people-pleasing ways and towards your goals. Given your shared taste for novelty and tendency to break from convention, you two may decide to push a traditional life of marriage and family to the back burner for many years, choosing to dedicate your lives to your work and each other as you continue to build, learn, and experience the world around you on your own terms. Together, you create a minimalistic home that serves as a base for you to quickly touch down and recharge before stamping your passport en route to your next delightful adventure.

[nomolosk]

Snapshots (AU Yeah August 2020)

read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25655623/chapters/62678428

Day 9- University

Gabriel looked up as his atelier melted away until he was standing in the center of the Dean’s office at ESMOD. He recognized the office, it was even decorated the same as when he had attended- which likely meant the akuma- he had named her Universal- was taking the easy way and creating her landscape from the memories and imaginings of the people affected. Given the setting, she had probably thrust everyone in Paris into some kind of University life. Apparently, he was to be the stern and forbidding Dean whom all the students feared.

He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He hadn’t really counted on this akuma being so… quiet. It had been nearly two full days already and there was still no indication that Ladybug or Chat Noir had caught on that something was going on. Of course, that was probably due to the powerset he’d given her- the ability to rewrite the memories of everyone affected to reflect their current reality. Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn’t spend all their time transformed, just as he couldn’t. In fact, he was counting on that a little, since her given task was to try and discover who they were in their normal everyday lives if possible.

In a way it was a personal victory- he’d finally hit on something that could trip them up… if only they would betray themselves. Sighing again, he went in search of Nathalie. He’d made them both immune to the akuma’s memory-changing power, so both of them remembered everything so far, including the rather odd transformation of his own powers during that elemental-magic setting. Not that he had complained at the time- it had made it possible for an additional attack to occur while his original akuma was still in play.

Yes, Universal was having a great time, but perhaps it was time for Mayura to come out to play and tempt the young heroes out into the open again. Perhaps Universal would catch the power surge when they transformed. Adrien was tucked safely away at that Small Business Convention- which had probably been transformed into a Student Union, or something similar. Yes. He’d be having the time of his life, and he’d be safe from the coming fight.

----

One moment Nathalie was scheduling phone calls with suppliers and meetings with Gabriel’s design team, and the next she found herself in an office she didn’t recognize, staring at a distraught young man as he sobbed to her about how he’d been framed, and it hadn’t really been him that was caught sabotaging someone else’s project.

It was times like this that Nathalie cursed Hawkmoth. Sure, he’d assured her that he and she were both protected from the mind-bending powers of his latest akuma, but that also meant that she currently had no clue what her current role was. She fell back on professional coldness. The fact that this individual was in an office that was hers, begging for mercy and trying to shift blame onto someone- anyone- else, meant that she was likely either the enforcer of rules, or the precursor to the enforcer of rules. So… not all that different from her actual real life job, though she was thankfully no longer so involved in Adrien’s schedule.

She glanced down at her desk, hoping to see a report on a tablet, or even a stack of papers with the complaint to review. She was in luck. No tablet, but there were three pages and the topmost was a single sheet detailing the complaint and the evidence against the young man in front of her. An eyebrow twitched when among the evidence listed was “security video footage.” The recommendation at the bottom of the page was to kick it up to the Dean. Also helpfully listed was the name of the individual.

“I’ve heard enough,” she finally said, in her usual expressionless voice. “There is plenty of evidence against you Mr. Virago. I’m saddened that once again ambition, or perhaps envy or spite, has misled someone talented enough to gain entry to this institution into ruining their chances. However, integrity is something we demand from all our students. You should expect a meeting with the Dean, although given what is listed here, it’s quite possible he’ll merely review the evidence and come to a conclusion in your absence.”

If the Dean were Gabriel Agreste, he certainly would, but unfortunately the Dean’s name wasn’t listed. Naturally, Nathalie would be expected to already know it. Mr. Virago collapsed into incoherent tears, and Nathalie grimaced in distaste. Artists were so very temperamental. Well, except for Gabriel. And even he has his moments, she thought, remembering quite a few overheard villain monologues, not to mention his sudden and inexplicable need to compose a rap song of all things to serve as his own personal theme a few months ago. 

Nathalie sighed and pushed the button on her old-fashioned office phone that was the most likely candidate for an intercom. “Please have security come and escort Mr. Virago out, thank you,” she said to the person on the other end.

A few moments later, there was a knock on her office door, and two uniformed women escorted the limp and cooperative (likely former) student out of her presence. A moment later there was another knock, and Gabriel walked in.

“I’m the Dean, who are you?” he asked, with no preamble whatsoever, but Nathalie was used to that. Except in moments of extreme stress or worry, Gabriel was nothing if not to the point.

“Someone just under the Dean, I believe. That young man you saw exiting a moment ago won’t be a student here for much longer if the evidence against him holds up.”

“That’s assuming he was ever a student here in the first place, and Universal didn’t make up a scenario he is being forced to play out, or simply transfer his misconduct from one place to another. Perhaps he always dreamed of being a student here, yet his life went another direction.”

Nathalie rubbed her temples. “This akuma is giving me a headache.”

“Don’t think about it too much, then. His life is his own, and unless Universal grants me another universe in which I’m able to create another akuma apart from her, his current mental anguish is irrelevant.”

A small voice in the back of Nathalie’s mind whispered traitorously: when did Gabriel become so cold? Surely he used to care more about the feelings of others… now he seems to see them as nothing more than opportunities to exploit.

“Of course, sir.”

“Meanwhile, since the heroes have yet to show themselves, perhaps Mayura ought to make an appearance.”

That brought a malicious smile to her face. Since Gabriel had succeeded in repairing the peacock miraculous a few years ago, her pulmonary issues had almost cleared up, and she was much stronger and faster in a fight. Of course, it seemed Ladybug and Chat Noir had finally reached whatever threshold it had been that kept them from using their powers more than once before being forced out of their transformations, and as a result they were also much more formidable opponents. Privately, Nathalie was starting to wonder if they would ever reach their ultimate goal, but she enjoyed being Mayura and flying about the city. As Mayura she could take out some of her frustrations with a reasonable assumption that they would be just fine in the end. She was loathe to give that up.

“I’ll have to check my schedule as soon as I can find it,” she said, “but I’m sure I can find some spare time somewhere. Will you be doing any designing while we’re stuck here?”

“No, it would be pointless. My own schedule is packed with meetings, or so my secretary- who is not nearly as competent as you- tells me. I had to beg for the few minutes it would take to walk from my office to yours as it is.”

“Then you should get going. Oh, by the by… have you run into anyone you recognize yet?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No one, but the day is young.”

Nathalie returned the smirk. “It seems my current score stands, then.”

“I never agreed to this, you know.”

“And yet, you were so triumphant yesterday when you briefly surpassed my score.”

“You sound like you think this little wager of yours is going to change things.”

“I know you still miss Emilie,” Nathalie said, her tone softening. “But you really need to get out more, and not just as a hologram. You weren’t there all those years when Adrien’s expression would go flat every time you refused to show up for some event. And now that he is grown and out of the house, he is more distant than ever. If you don’t want to lose him entirely, something needs to change.”

Gabriel sighed. “Yes, but… oh, if only I could be as self-centered as Audrey Bourgeois, and simply attempt to fire anyone who annoys me.”

“Everyone feels that way, Gabriel,” Nathalie stated firmly. “Consider the fact that most of the people you meet are feeling exactly the same way you are… and strive to treat them with the same consideration and respect you would demand for yourself.”

Gabriel made a skeptical noise. “If you say so. But it does seem pointless to bother at this point when we’re so close.” He sighed. “I really must get back. Try to inform me of when you’re going out, please?”

“Of course sir,” Nathalie said, and started pulling out the drawers of her desk looking for a schedule even as he left the room.

@auyeahaugust

[pudding-on-parade]

Rambling about Lylanir

Just contemplating rules and culture and, y’know, world-building stuff. Also to-do lists. It’s mostly meant for me because I find that “writing” helps me to clarify things in my own head, but if you want to read along, feel free. :) I’ll warn you that it’s really long, and I’ll probably edit it over time to make it longer still. Or maybe shorter, if I delete things I’ve gotten done. WHO KNOWS WHAT I’LL DO???!!

Right now, I’m just working in Edit Town mode. I’ve moved in a placeholder Sim (who will be annihilated when I start adding the real population; I love that you can do that in TS3) so that I can let the world run a bit so that it generates service Sims. Currently, I’m deleting some rabbitholes I don’t want and adding some that I do. Also, some lots for some of the Ambitions functions. Like, do not want school but do want stadium, police, and military, so I’ve deleted/put those down. 

Also do want:

A spa. Partly rabbithole, partly playable. I want it to be a hot springs. Gonna use one of the world’s empty 64x64 lots for it, I think. Maybe a little smaller, but still a big lot. The DV spa rabbithole is pretty elvish-looking, so I might use a rug instead...or I might decide elvish-looking is OK for a spa. Mostly, I just want it to be pretty and relaxing.

A junkyard. I wish there were more period-appropriate junk piles, but I’ll make do with the “normal” ones. I also want to look at the “Inventing Overhaul” mod I have. I think I remember that you can replace the inventable objects with other things. I’d like some more slightly-advanced but closer to period-appropriate things than the advanced tech that mod uses. Like, inventing telescopes, for instance. Not sure I’ll be able to do that because I have zero TS3-modding skills, and if I can’t, I’ll settle for them inventing anachronistic stuff, mostly because I just love inventor Sims and the blacksmith’s house in the village is already furnished with an inventing station.

Business, criminal, theater, and science rabbitholes.

An art gallery that’s really more of a studio, with easels and sculpting stations and that Store glass-blowing/jewelry-making thing. maybe the toy-making thing from the Store and stuff like that. I’m going back and forth as to whether this stuff should be part of a residential home for a Da Vinci-like Sim or if it should be a community lot so that everyone of an artistic bent can use the stuff. I’m currently leaning more toward the latter.

A non-rabbithole, playable boarding school for the less-agrarian kids. Not sure what I need to do in TS3 to make that work. Need to do some reading/thinking about it.

Something for vampires, but definitely not a typical “Vampire Lounge.” I’m thinking....Well, the town has a monastery. It has a big, explorable, and very gothy tomb under it. Kinda thinking the “brothers” will all be vampires.

Maybe want:

A hospital rabbithole. I can’t decide if I want the medical careers (including custom ones I have, like nursing) in this world. I know I won’t be sending people there to birth babies -- mostly because of travel time -- so otherwise its only function would be careers, so....I don’t know. The world’s alchemy-heavy, and I have some custom elixirs for curing illness and such, so maybe a hospital is unnecessary.

A salon. Makeovers might be nice. A super-gay medieval stylist would be hilarious. Tattoos...maybe. In the real world, tattooing goes back to at least ancient Egypt, but I’d need to download some more appropriate designs than what the game comes with. I’m not sure this is important enough to me to go to that effort.

Wish I could have: A fire station. But that requires the fire truck and that’s pushing anachronism tolerance waaaaaay beyond my threshold. :)

Then, I need to go into all the prebuilt lots and edit them as needed. Like, I know because I looked that some of them have all modern kitchen appliances. Do not want.

Once all that’s done, all the service Sims ought to have been generated. So the next step will be making them over so they look right. Because they generate like this:

Yeah, that’s not gonna work. *laugh* But, I’ll only need to change hairs and everyday outfits, so it shouldn’t take long. What will take a long time will be making the playables, given the CAS lag I have. Which hopefully won’t be as bad since this Mods folder will be much lighter on the hair than my “normal” folder...

So, some ideas about this place’s environment and culture and all that:

Its climate will be temperate with all four seasons but on the cooler side. Longer autumn/winter/spring, shorter summer. Mostly to make farming a little harder. Lifespans will be longer to match because I like to take my time with things. Horses, of course, will be integral to this world.

Traveling won’t be allowed, so it’ll be an isolated culture with no one immigrating or emigrating once I’ve got the population set. UNLESS I decide to “network” in one or two other historical worlds of a similar era using the Traveler mod. I don’t know that I’m up for setting up more than this world, though. *laugh*

I’ve been putting in some thought about this place’s culture and while I don’t have much figured out yet, I DO know that this place is definitely going to be fantasy with only a medieval-esque veneer. But I also want it to have an unusual culture, not an LOTR-like sort of epic fantasy. This means it’s going to diverge a lot from the real Middle Ages, and I’m not gonna care. Given that, I’ve decided to go all out on some fantasy things.

Like, I’m going to use the dragons that came with Dragon Valley. I’m not quite sure how yet. I might limit them to supernatural Sims having them, maybe only one kind of supernatural having them. Maybe as a sort of witch familiar? Not that I don’t want witches to have cats, of course! *laugh* Maybe dragons can be fairy companions...

That said, obviously supernaturals will be integral here. :) But there won’t be superstition or stigma about them. No witch trials/burnings or anything like that. They’ll just be...people. Well, OK, if I do a feral werewolf colony, they’ll probably be feared, but otherwise? People will be cool with the supernatural, even embracing them and seeking to become one, i.e., those monastic vampires. Even though the vampires are probably gonna kill people. For population control, if nothing else.

For the supernaturals....I’ve downloaded a bunch of skin color ramps, I think they’re called. The things with ranges of unnatural colors on one slider. I’ve never used them. I think I’m going to use them for at least some of the supernaturals, designating a color family for each type of supernatural. I also have a mess of unnatural hair color presets, and I’ll do unnatural eye colors, too. I want to do this partly because I think it’ll be visually interesting and very different from what I’ve done in all my Simming before, but mostly because I’m curious to see how the Advanced Genetics that are part of NRAAS’s Story Progression (as well as a mod I have that blends parental hair colors) will handle such things. I’m hoping for some interesting results, especially with supernatural hybrids. 

Speaking of witch burnings...Religion. If there is one at all in this world, I’m definitely not doing anything from the real-world West. Probably won’t even do anything like the Sims Medieval style of religion. I’m not sure if the “monastery” will be related to religion at all, in fact. Currently, I’m leaning toward it being the vampires themselves who are worshipped by everyone else or at least by all the humans. Like, people could send them sacrifices to be drained in exchange for...something. :) I have no idea what right now. But I’m toying with a “backstory” about vampires that they are perhaps technologically advanced and not even former humans. Maybe they’re aliens, maybe they’re time travelers. Maybe they’re stranded in Lylanir, maybe they came deliberately as observers or something. Mostly, I’m thinking this because I want to be able to use the science station to make forbidden fruit seeds because I want to use Plantsims. *laugh* I can utilize that big-ass tomb under the monastery to hide some more advanced tech. 

But one cultural thing that I am certain of: It’s going to be an egalitarian society. None of this female oppression bullshit. I don’t want it to be female-dominated, either, but just....equal. So, women don’t have to be married and push out a dozen babies if they don’t want to. And they can wear comfortable, practical clothing, including pants. And they don’t have to cover their hair. And they can be badass warriors if they want to be. All that stuff. 

A bit of culture I’ve invented, following on from women not having to cover their hair, is that women above child-age will wear braided hairstyles, and the more elaborate the braiding, the higher the status she has. Because only those with status would have time to sit for hours and braid (or have someone else braid) their hair. I’ve downloaded a bunch of elaborately-braided hairstyles, and I’m looking forward to using them. 

And I want to think of something similar for men, but I’m having a hard time coming up with something. I’d be fine with complex braids for them, too, but alas such hairstyles don’t seem to exist for males. At least, not very many of them. Maybe tattoos, if I make them more expensive than the game charges for them? If that, then I need to move a salon up to the “Do Want” list.

And that’s enough, I think....FOR NOW!

[testbaboon3-blog]

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[kendrixtermina]

Thoughts and Feelings about“Change Your Mind”

I really wish I could rewatch this motherfucker somewhere but I have to sleep and go to work 

Well on the one hand the main story lines are pretty much done for, on the other, the fallout alone could fill another season, and I’m actually glad that they’re not relegating that to the epilogue but actually going to show it

I assume season 5 will be Steven working with the Diamonds to improve homeworld, explaining things to Jasper, integrating the former corrupted gems on earth, finding out the deal with pink pearl, further developing Steven’s new fusions etc. 

Other open questions involve gem origins and peridot’s renewable energy project, but I suppose that will come up as Steven tries to make the Empire less... imperialistic. 

I understand why they wanted to air this in one piece, you couldn’t leave the younger viewers hanging with some of these creepytastic scenes and no resolution

There’s various concepts I feel reminded of. 

There’s this idea of “tzimtsum” in kaballalistic thought, about how God created the world - In order to create a being apart from himself, he “hid” some aspects of the being, the ones that would seem - So every part of creation reflects one aspect of god, but none shows the complete pictures of it, and because everything has some aspects of god but not others, it is unique - so all humans are made in gods image, but still be different from each other.  

Maybe Pink Diamond would be something like Lucifer in this analogy, part of the creation but as far from the god as you can get while still existing, and somehow their antithesis (stretching the analogy here, of course Judaism has no counterpart to Lucifer let alone the positive-ish early modernity interpretions of him - but of course, White Diamond isn’t exactly a benevolent God either. )

First of course Star Trek, like the ep where Captain Kirk is split into what at first seems like his good and evil half but is more like his animal instincts and higher reasoning, or in Voyager, when B’Elana Torres is split into her human and Klingon halves. 

I guess Garnet wasn’t completely wrong in his being something in-between fusion and human reproduction, his gem half could be considered A Pink Diamond, but not the same one who created him - He must be fricking powerful to shrug off WD’s beams like that, like how Stevonnie still has “boosted” versions of Steven’s abilities despite Connie being human, Steven’s probably like Pink Diamond, but ‘boosted’.  

Steven’s victory certainly showcases how it comes from both sides of his heritage. It involves making WD laugh/embarassed like what Pink used to do, but unlike her, he has the communication skills from Greg - I don’t think Pink ever talked to Blue in that way, she didn’t seem aware of what the other Diamonds were thinking at all, any more than she really understood Pearl’s lingering knot of complexes. It’s just not a skill she could have picked up before Greg - when? From whom?  

His responsibility is all uniquely him and due to his upbringing with the CG’s and wanting to help him more, tho, both his parents where free spirit hippy bohemians, but it was Steven who decided “Nope, I WANT to fix it, because I can”, not because he owes it to anybody, even when no one could fault him for running. 

Also, Frankenstein (the Novel not the film) - The original Victor was a sympathetic, even admirable character, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to have empathy with the monster, though Adam was in many ways alike to him and initially didn’t wish to be his enemy.  Because while the gems relate to White Diamond as their goddess and the other Diamonds see her as their mother, she seems to regard them as extensions of herself. Maybe she would, as their creator. Gods are expected to smile benevolently upon their followers and solve their problems, Mothers, while they are flawed humans,  are supposed to love their kids as they are and realize that they become their own persons, but artists frequently tear up their own work if they’re dissatisfied with it, because it’s supposed to be a reflection of their existence, so they might hate it for not reflecting them well enough - 

i often regret tearing up half my teenage fanfics, but I’m able to view them different now that I’m - Back then, I felt like they reflectzed badly onto me - but if had kids and treated them like my fanfics or crumpled drawings, well, that would scar them for life. 

You could certainly see this as a metaphor for narcissism, particularly in the way WD judged everything by how much it was like her, to the point that she would ‘overwrite`’ ppl’s personalities with her ideas of how it ought to be, while lacking a solid identity of her own apart from being “perfect/the best” by default, but that only goes so far because the gems literally are her creations who take their characteristics from various aspects of her being. 

She’d have a completely different conceptual framework to anyone else, though she’s certainly not “above it” in any way. 

I don’t think she was completely unaffected by Pink’s dissapearence either, if you want to complete the Stages of Grief analogy she would be Denial or Bargaining. Most likely,  she was growing increasingly frustrated with her ability to make her empire “perfect” like she ought to and that’s why she started keeping to herself more and assuming that Pink couldn’t be dead. 

She seemed like the knowing one when she was as much in denial as anyone else - you can tell they had a complicated relationship because of how White saw herself in her, that might be why she indulged and preferred her, but then again she didn’t always like what she saw and felt that Pink represented parts of her that she didn’t want to see. 

It’s not without reason that Steven tells her to “get out of her own head” and try to see the world for what it is rather than her preconceived notions of what it is or means. You could perhaps relate that to 

When she realizes that she’s actually dead - that’s when she has her breakdown. 

You could even draw a parallel to “Romeo And Juliet”, where the older generation only realizes how much its ways were fucked up when it gets their beloved children killed for just trying to live happy lives. 

Cal Gustav Jung would certainly remind us that what irritates us about others are often things that irritate us about ourselves, that we may be liable to “see the world as we are” and never is that more apparent than when we view everything through some skewed belief system, or when we hate - people hate people who blur boundaries because they don’t want to confront the ambiguity within themselves, or act as “superior” and merciless because they’ve rejected their own mortal fragile humanity.

Another observation is that when you set up anything as the “default” you create pressure not to deviate from the norm and prevent its members from experiencing their individuality. (see societal pressure on heterosexual men, or Euro-Americans saying they ‘have no culture to celebrate’ - maybe instead of becoming a devouring plague upon your fellow men, you could actually appreciate European culture? Like, read some books, eat some cheese, learn a language, listen to some classical music, vote for worker protection laws?)

It speaks for PD that she even tried to save other aliens at some point. steven stepped completely out of her shadow the moment he was able to feel sorry for her, like “Geez, she had to live like that? No wonder she turned out the way she did!” he pretty much calls the other Diamonds out at some point, like he gets a secure sense of the differences between them when he realizes how much better off he’s been in his own life. Like, UGH. 

For my part, I don’t believe the “best of the worst” thing was true, and more of an “evil cannot comprehend good” moment from White, if not outright projection. (after all, White seems to view all other Gems as imperfect copies of herself) If anything, Pink seemed upset that she got stuck being the leader even as “Rose Quartz” (see the Beach scene in “Greg the babysitter”) - but of course Steven, not being Pink, wouldn’t know whether or not White is right. 

Other Thoughts:

In the earlier scenes you could see a lot of parallels to less than ideal family situations, and how people might end up acting as proxies of the problematic person, almost sprouting their words, in the name of keeping the peace, and how people in such an environment may have no idea of how it’s not normal

You CAN talk down such a person (I know of multiple people who made a bona fide job out of talking sense into literal nazis and clansmen, person by person - their tactic was generally to find whatever problem their rage came from), but there’s a difference between “flawed” and “awful” and I do think it came through that White is a piece of work quite unlike, say, Connie’s mother, and that Steven’s dealing with her because he wants to for the good of society, because he’s the bigger person and secure in himself,  not because he owes it to her or anything

It seems like they went for “awesome” rather than “beautiful” with Steven’s fusions. The designs are kinda gaudy, but even so, once you getpast the gaudy design, it’s kind of touching how Steven’s and Garnet’s fusion is essentially a motivational speaker who sprouts encouraging advice nonstop. Garnet was always Steven’s Mentor and  as well as the main person (besides greg) to teach him morals, as well as generally encouraging & supportive, but Steven of course encourages and supports her too, and both like doing that for others

I love Peridot’s short shorts and that she and Bismuth repaired the ships/ went a-tinkering together. It took me a bit to notice that it’s supposed to be shorts and not just her old outfit with starts instead tho

Voice of Reason!Connieis a gift that keeps on giving

[tecezeposts]

Challenges marketers face in conversion optimization

Conversion Optimization – what is that? Conversion optimization is a modern must-do in internet marketing, which improves the percentage of web users who turn into customers or take the necessary actions. The method has its hurdles, although the advantages are solid. Marketers unfamiliar to conversion optimization should be prepared and plan accordingly for the following common potholes, recognizing that there are some trade-offs and tools that can be used to bypass them. Marketers from all sectors with a broad range of calls to action, including retailers looking for visitors to buy a product, professional services pursuing leads, and non-profits seeking donations, can exploit conversion optimization for impact. You ought to keep visitors there, in addition to taking users to your website. Also, you need to convert them into clients from interested prospects. Creating website traffic is about half the marketing equation. Conversion optimization is one of the most effective strategies for converting your existing web traffic into potential customers. In order to boost sales, you can influence additional traffic to your site, or you can increase the efficiency of your site with the same amount of traffic you currently receive. Formulating a hypothesis and then creating a new version of a web page or landing page to evaluate against the current version to see which one is more likely to succeed at subscribing or acquiring customers. In the end, you launch the variety that managed to convince a large number of individuals to purchase what you sell. You analyze the sales funnel of your website with conversion optimization to figure out ways you can optimize your site in order to achieve a greater number of customers to subscribe to your product or service.

Conversion optimization is beneficial to SEO – Reasons Conversion optimization has distinct benefits for SEO, while not strictly linked to obtaining organic website traffic or ranking on the search engine results page (SERP).Feedback from customers: Conversion Optimization will help to understand your target audience and figure out what content fits their needs best. It is all about identifying the perfect or appropriate customers for your business. If the target audience is not approached, then there is no point in expecting growth as a business entity. Promising ROI: Higher conversion rates imply that you have more resources available to explore. You shall expect a lot of conversions without having to put in more potential prospects or buyers by understanding how to get the most out of your acquisition and marketing efforts.

Scalability: Conversion optimization helps you to grow without running out of resources and future clients and the size of your target audience does not scale as your company expands. Also, audiences aren’t endless. You will be able to expand the company without running out of prospective customers by converting more visitors into clients.

Great user experience: At times when the users feel intellectual and sophisticated while visiting your website, they tend to stick around. Basically, conversion optimization analyses what works on your website. By understanding what works and how to enhance it, provides a much better user experience. Only users who feel empowered by your website tend to engage more and you never know, some users may even become your brand’s influencers.

Trust factor: Visitors have to sincerely trust your website enough to share their credit card, email, or any sort of personal information for that matter. The key salesperson is your website in this case. Your site needs to be professional, cordial, and capable of answering all the questions from your potential customers and clients, very much like an internal sales team.

Hurdles in Conversion Optimization

Getting a proper development resource

When teams have aligned themselves with the prototypes they intend to test, standard A/B testing procedures would require production resources to develop the pages. It can be a real struggle to secure valuable development hours to start with and then prioritize the conversion optimization test over other development priorities. Designing prototypes for testing can take a month or more, drastically slowing the process.

Obtaining the approval for your Brand

In an attempt to ensure everything meets the brand approval procedure, brand teams might stop optimization teams from exploring new and creative ways to gain customer attention and focus without realizing it. While designing page layouts for analysis, brand marketing, and design teams may find themselves in dispute with one another. It is important to recognize the consistency of the brand and voice as they are hugely beneficial and testing various copy, pictures, and landing page styles for the benefits of higher conversion is equally significant.

Keeping up with Compliance regulations

Every public-facing word has to be approved by law for certain businesses, particularly in the financial services world. This is also a back-and-forth mechanism of marketing pressing for better deals and attempting to scale back offers and features with zeal and integrity. However, when submitted through the approval procedure, the eloquence of the latest designs and content for conversion testing may be made less compelling.

Commitment to changes

The above hurdles can certainly escalate and overwhelm larger design tests and practically become intractable. Because of this, by only examining smaller products that do not require much attention, say, for instance, button color or maybe even a new copy line, many marketers just begin to bypass the brand, legal, and production constraints. Gradual testing leads to exponential conversion optimization outputs, as you can anticipate. Marketers would hopefully test at the boundaries of their comfort zone to achieve high growth and get artistic with ways to gain attention and engage with their intended customer base.

Time-consuming to get stable outcomes

After getting authorization, coded, and set for live testing, every marketer is left to face the ultimate question as to when will my test actually accomplish a greater significance that I would start to believe the end results? The answer to that solely depends on how much your website gets web traffic which includes a variety of other elements such as how many page variants you assess. As a result, unless they can see the actual results, marketers are likely to be confronted with several weeks or even months of live testing. It is better to refrain from calling the test results until achieving significance, in order to expedite the process, as last-minute changes in end results might also occur. Running with a thought with what you think would probably win defeats, to begin with, the purpose behind conversion optimization testing. Conversion optimization has shifted to the marketing landscape, giving out useful real-world, enforceable outcomes for those who use it to optimize their landing pages. These hurdles in conversion optimization hinder marketers from having the comfort to test the latest, innovative ideas which shall lead to substantial progress in conversion.

[lindaafy622302-blog]

How To Cut Layers In Your Personal Hair Even If It Is Wavy

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It is a mixture of traditional as nicely as modern technology and it does quite a good job. You can also use disinfecting chemical substances to clean it because the handle can withstand it. A great razor should be able to effortlessly reach the region that you want to shave. It should be maneuverable, without too a lot effort on the user's part. The previous straight razors might give a great shave but when you want to adhere to the contours of your encounter, it's hard work with a straight razor. The electrical shavers will give you a clean shave with no burns and cuts. The shavers will also give you a near shave even though the razor blades would give you a nearer shave than what shavers can give you. As most of us males know, the cost of disposable razors has been rising consistently over the past ten to fifteen many years. Razor manufacturers have been adding extra blades, moisturizing strips and elevated rubber strips to lift the hairs. While most of these additions to the regular disposable razor have helped give us nearer shaves with much less discomfort, the elevated price of these blades has been giving males all over the place a burning sensation in their wallets. Some of the newest types of disposables can cost upwards of $18.00 for a four pack. That quantities to $4.fifty per razor!!! With the typical man throwing away a razor every 4 times to a 7 days the cost of shaving can get a small pricey. Shaving is an integral component of the every day schedule for us men, or at minimum to most of us. We want a clean and close shave with a great razor. We need a razor that glides throughout our pores and skin and never snags on any component of our face. We detest nicks and scratches simply because the encounter is extremely sensitive. It also could consider a whilst before a cut will quit bleeding. So we want razor blades of the top quality and Personna razor blades definitely deliver. The 1 factor I've really absent back in time for, though, is a good, comfy, luxurious shave using a www.rasage-manuel.fr. Cartridge blades, disposables, and electrical razors both just don't shave close enough or do so at the expense of your skin. How many of you Hate shaving? To get rid of this issue, perhaps it's much more apt to use waxing implements to remove the undesirable hairs. But be cautious; whether or not you strategy to concoct your own scorching waxing mixture or otherwise, waxing your underarms can be extremely uncomfortable. Being waxed for the initial time is like being whipped by a leather-based whip: it's quick but intensely painful.

[lindsay36ho]

An Uncancelled Beethoven Celebration – Interview with Konstantin Scherbakov, part 1

2020 is not only a fascinating year for the musical world and the worldwide celebrations of Ludwig van Beethoven, but also gives us a chance to get closer to noteworthy performers in order to share their ideas and experiences of the grand master of western classical music. In this interview with Konstantin Scherbakov the phenomenal performer shares his experiences derived from a lifelong relationship with the composer, on stage, in the recording studio and as an influential tutor. In this first part of the interview we get to learn about Scherbakov’s year of celebration and complete sonatas recording project.

Patrick Jovell: Konstantin, we know you through your large discography and your broad interest in different kinds of repertoire but this interview will focus on your relation to Beethoven. How did it all start?

Konstantin Scherbakov: The Beethoven Year 2020 rounds up an important circle in my biography. It is not only Beethoven’s 250 Birthday. It also happens that I play piano since 50 years. And it is absolutely no coincidence that I celebrate this double anniversary by playing only Beethoven’s music: I associate my personal Beethoven story with my life in music in general. It began when I, six years old, played his “Marmotte”, and continued through the next fifty years when I played in concerts almost everything Beethoven has written for the piano, and beyond – his solo piano works, all the Concertos and all the Symphonies. I also recorded quite a bit of this – initially for the Soviet Radio, then for Naxos (Diabelli-Variations), Two Pianists label (Eroica-Variations, Sonatas), the largest and most significant project being to-date the Complete Symphonies in Liszt’s transcription. The 2019/20 concert season was exclusively dedicated to Beethoven: the Complete Sonatas and Symphonies cycles in various countries and at some important festivals, of which the most notable was, of course, the Beethovenfest in Bonn. Besides the solo repertoire, I was also to perform Beethoven’s concerti. Towards Beethoven’s supposed birthday at the end of 2020 the release of the Complete Sonatas CD-box (which I am currently recording and will continue recording during the next months for the Steinway label) is scheduled with the release of the set of nine CDs in October – November 2020.

PJ: How has Covid-19 affected your concert and recording schedule?

KS: Yes, it was an unexpected turn of events, (for everyone everywhere!) which cost me, as any other artist, lots of engagements, concerts and which ruined all plans. You realize this especially painfully when it’s a cycle of concerts which is spread through the whole season, when your work is precisely scheduled every month at different venues: these sonatas in January, this set in February etc. Indeed it is very misfortunate when you schedule your work years in advance and everything is lost at once. Except recordings, however: in spite of the Corona crisis, the Steinway label is working strictly in accordance with the schedule we made up one year ago. Every month there has been a release of yet another set of Sonatas.

Here the pandemic situation turns out to be a life elixir! When in the past thirty years did I have the time to enjoy working – in peace – on one program for one whole month? The experience which mixes playing late Beethoven’s music all day long, endless walks in various Swiss regions, and reading Proust, is nothing short of a revelation! In the absence of any disturbing factors like traveling, getting hurried or distracted by other things, you realize this is nothing but sensational, unheard of, and for that reason extremely precious and wonderful time. That is what I am through right at this moment. However dreadful the situation is for the world I am grateful for the opportunity to experience something I was never able to experience before. Many things in life will look different from now on…

PJ: It is said that Beethoven – after composing 15 sonatas – told his editor Breitkopf & Härtel that he was planning to compose sonatas in a totally new way. How do you as an interpreter and recording artist schedule your Beethoven recitals in terms of coupling sonatas? Is there a chronological factor working in this sense?

KS: Of course everyone planning to perform or record the complete Beethoven Sonatas inevitably thinks about how to program them in concert or on CD. So did I. I had done my homework but decided to research how others did theirs before me. I consulted recording catalogues and googled for concert cycles featuring Beethoven’s Sonatas. Strangely enough, I found more programs where the sonatas were distributed in some ways, different from a simple chronological order. Among them there would not be two similar programming ideas. And every idea seemed to me strange and suspicious, highly questionable and subjective. Why this or that choice of sonatas in one concert? What stands behind this particular combination? How would such a program sound in a concert? I did not have any answers as it all seemed too personal, too speculative and thus difficult to understand or agree. My research however proved to be very helpful. The conclusion to program my Beethoven Sonatas cycle in chronological order was reinforced and my opinion about such a decision strengthened. Indeed, what can bring a more satisfying experience than a journey with Beethoven through his life, every period of which left a significant trace in his piano sonatas, from beginning to the end? Moreover: from such a perspective, 32 sonatas appear much more as a cycle with its obvious concept and well structured content.

PJ: Brahms’ opening of his first Sonata – paraphrasing Beethoven’s ”Hammerklavier” – is such a striking example of the latter’s enormous impact as a role model for the sonata form, for composers and pianists to come. There are endless attempts to explain Beethoven’s Sonatas in form and psychological contents. Can you tell me why the 32 have become a bible among pianists?

KS: There are many reasons. To name them all one would need to write a book. I’ll just try to focus on the most obvious ones, from my perspective. One of them was the fact that Beethoven’s titanic and tragic figure was the icon that represented the spirit of the time. After all, the living legend Beethoven, was the most well-known personality of the time next only to Napoleon… It is no surprise therefore that Beethoven was regarded as a symbol of the epoch also by those who composed music. Of course Beethoven’s prodigious gifts were apparent anywhere, in all forms and genres. However, his genius needed the sonata form to develop and bring to realization the whole wealth of his abilities. It is primarily due to sonatas, quartets, and the symphonies that we know Beethoven. The historical development of the sonata form has reached its peak in Beethoven’s compositions. Deriving from examples of earlier sonata forms in the works of C. P. E. Bach, Haydn and Mozart, Beethoven brought the genre to totally new heights and established a new model which ought to serve as a pattern to follow and as a catalogue of rules, methods and ideas. It was the sonata form that explains the attracting power and strong influence of Beethoven.

PJ: Clearly Beethoven displays both willingness and boldness when it comes to experimenting with contents and its construction. Can you elaborate on that?

KS: Beethoven’s method of composition at first sight seems to be uncomplicated, straightforward, simple and easy: one takes a microscopically small musical pattern and grows huge constructions using its semantic potential. This universal method is indeed like in biological life where anything grows from a single cell. However, such a method requires a genius spirit, melodical gift, perfect sense for formal balance and logic, sophistication and precision of a mathematician’s thinking. Without any of these qualities any attempt to copy or even just follow the method would fail. Many composers didn’t escape the attraction of Beethoven’s method and tried it with various success: the names of Brahms, Bruckner, Schumann and Schubert spring to mind, Mahler would not be possible; many representatives of national schools couldn’t avoid the influence either, such as the Russian Tchaikovsky, Finnish Sibelius or Czech Dvorak. The perfect blend of counterpoint and melody, the use of plain harmony patterns, rhythmical urgency, logic in the development, an enormous scope of artistic ideas and subjects and the ability to say much using few words – that all made Beethoven’s scores an example to study, worship, marvel, and to follow.

PJ: Which values – or challenges for that sake – arise for you as pianist and interpreter while working with this incredibly rich material?

KS: Also from the pianist’s perspective there are a few reasons why Beethoven’s music is so attractive. The first indeed is the fact that this is undoubtedly the best music ever written. There are thirty-two wonderful piano pieces; each of them makes any concert program attractive for audiences. Due to their different musical nature, they can be integrated in any programming context. It also happened that Beethoven was the first composer to write music for the grandfather of the modern piano which we know and play today. Finally, it was in the sonata form where he not only formally completed the development of the genre but opened the new era of pianism with new rules, principles, new basics and unheard-of means. In order to serve the new music ideas which Beethoven introduced in yet another sonata, the piano technique had to be revolutionized; the modern understanding of articulation was introduced (Legato, before all), the use of dynamic range of ever changing and growing instrumental possibilities, the use of pedal(s) etc.

However, for a thinking, reflecting pianist, playing a Beethoven Sonata remains, above all, the challenge of highest artistic criteria; it is kind of a maturity test, because in a Beethoven’s Sonata one’s musicianship becomes apparent. Why so? The answer is in the nature of Beethoven’s language in general as the language of one of the greatest humanists in arts history. It looks to me the following way: in his music, Beethoven sums up the experience of the humanity, forms it in a particular musical idea, encrypts it in a pattern (motif, theme) consisting of a few notes and speaks by its means to humans, in his own name or in the name of God (“Seid umschlungen Millionen!”). His genius makes possible an easy and clear recognition of the meaning of such a motif by everyone. Its expressive power and obvious message is underlined by its shortness. The famous “Fate motif” from the 5th Symphony is a perfect illustration of this thesis. Thus, the task of a performer is to catch, identify, decode and bring the message over. Here the interpretation (pronunciation) has ideally to have the equal expressive power; any failure in properly formulating the idea would be recognized and cause dissatisfaction. In the ideal case, we get two kindred musical spirits acting in harmony – the composer’s and the performer’s. In the worst scenario, we simply experience the dutiful text reading. To illustrate these words I ask you to think about this: how many times were the expectations that always arise in anticipation of a concert featuring, say, the Sonata Op. 111, justified by the actual experience? That is what makes pianists attempt to climb those peaks of piano literature: on one side, the challenge which in case of success would be gratified by recognition, on the other – the urge to prove to oneself where one stands as of now. And above all – the ultimate beauty of the music which is matched only by its depth.

About Konstantin Sherbakov

A world wide performer, Scherbakov had a career that took him to play with 70 orchestras and to record some 40 albums, including the complete piano works by Shostakovich, Godowsky, and the nine symphonies by Beethoven in Liszt’s transcription. Over the course of his career, Scherbakov has performed all of Beethoven’s piano concertos around the globe and is perhaps the only pianist in the world that has an active repertoire featuring all of Beethoven’s piano sonatas, all piano concertos and the Liszt-Beethoven symphonic transcriptions (the latter on five discs 1998-2004, Naxos). The recordings were met with enthusiasm: “Scherbakov is in many ways the artist whom these works have been waiting for,” International Piano wrote. Stereoplay echoed: “This CD should be prescribed at least 50 conductors for educational purposes! Since 1998 Scherbakov functions as Professor at the Zürich University of Arts and many of his students received prizes at international piano competitions, most notably Yulianna Avdeeva; the winner of the 2010 Chopin Competition in Warsaw. Scherbakov has also been nominated by the International Classical Music Awards (ICMA) for his Liszt/Lyapunov Transcendental Studies CD (Steinway label, 2019).

Scherbakov Sonatas Project 2020

FREE SAMPLE: Beethoven Complete Sonatas Vol. 6 (Steinway and Sons label)

from Piano Street’s Classical Piano News https://www.pianostreet.com/blog/articles/an-uncancelled-beethoven-celebration-interview-with-konstantin-scherbakov-part-1-10696/

[postgamecontent]

Studio Pixel Spotlight: Ikachan & Azarashi

In spite of the extreme popularity of Cave Story, most of the rest of Studio Pixel's releases maintain a a very low profile. There are plenty of possible reasons for that. For starters, much of Pixel's catalog is made up of mini-games that don't really hit many of the same notes as his most famous work. They're mostly only available on PC, put up as free downloads from Pixel's own site. For this Spotlight series, we're going to be looking largely at the titles that made it out of that bubble in some form. We'll start off with some of Pixel's earliest games, the squid adventure Ikachan and the Game & Watch-style Azarashi. Both games were originally released on PC, with Ikachan ported to the Nintendo 3DS in 2013 and Azarashi to iOS in 2012. They're still available for free on PC and for sale in their respective platforms' shops, but Azarashi will likely be purged from the App Store when 32-bit compatibility is broken later this year.

Ikachan 

Original Release Date: June 23, 2000

Original Hardware: Windows PC

For better or worse, Ikachan is often spoken of in terms of its relationship to Cave Story. Like that game, it's a non-linear, side-scrolling, action-adventure game. It shares a similar style of presentation, and even appears to be using a version of the engine that game would later be built in. It's a curious title in Pixel's library. Ikachan is considerably more substantial than the bulk of his other games, but it's practically bite-sized next to Cave Story and Kero Blaster. Even in its expanded Nintendo 3DS version, the game barely takes more than an hour to finish. The original PC version is around half the length. As such, Ikachan is often seen more as a technical demo than a game all of its own. Many view it as either an hors d'oeuvre or a small dessert for the main course of Cave Story. I think that assessment is dealing the game a short shrift, however.

Before we go into the story of Ikachan, however, we need to briefly discuss its creator: Daisuke Amaya, or as he's often known as, Pixel. Until very recently, he's operated as something of a one-man-band. That's not as rare as you might think in indie development, of course, but what separates Pixel from most is that he seems to do it all well. He's a skilled game designer, a talented musician, an excellent pixel artist, and a competent programmer. He takes a great deal of enjoyment in all of those things, too. He's done more collaborative work in recent years, but for most of his active years as a developer, he's worked largely on his own.

Pixel grew up in the 1980s and like many kids of that generation, he was captivated by video games. He also enjoyed creative endeavors like drawing and composing his own music. After graduating high school, Pixel went to computer technical school for further studies, hoping to one day make video games. While living in the student dormitory, he learned how to program his own software from his neighbor. As he was developing his programming skills, he also continued to play games. His favorite at this time was Nintendo's Super Metroid, and he dreamed of making a game of his own similar to it. By now, Pixel had no intentions of going full-time into the games industry, mind you. He felt that if he took that road, he would never get to make the kinds of games he really wanted to make. This was simply a hobby for him, an extension of his love for creating art and playing games.

While he loved Super Metroid a lot, there was one thing he wanted to do differently. The exploration and action bits were great, and so was the atmosphere. Pixel wanted a game with all of those qualities, but with much cuter characters. So after a couple of years of studying programming, he finally decided to make his cute take on Metroid. Unfortunately, he was biting off a lot more than he could chew at the time. He opted to put his dream project on hold while he built his skills with another project that had a smaller scope. After a few months of hard work, Pixel came out the other end with a whole lot of practical experience and a short, complete game. The result of his efforts was Ikachan. So yes, even for its creator, Ikachan was something of a bump on the road that led to Cave Story. But I think we ought to separate the game from its origins and common perception in order to judge it on its own qualities. 

In Ikachan, you play as a little squid who wakes up in an unfamiliar place. Were you always a squid? The game hints that it may not be the case, but you are certainly one now. Initially, there's no stated goal, but there's only one way you can swim, so you might as well go for it. The route takes you through a somewhat cramped tunnel lined with spikes. This serves as something of a trial-by-fire for you to learn the mechanics of how to move your squid around. Tapping the button will make the squid swim straight up. Leaning to either side and tapping the button will make the squid bob in the desired direction. It can be a little tricky to get a handle on at first, but you'll soon be swimming like a champ. At the very least, while the spikes pose a threat, they only deal damage as opposed to death. You can take a few hits from them without dying.

Upon navigating out of this tunnel, you'll encounter a couple of things. First, you'll run into hostile enemies that you can't seem to do anything about. Second, you'll meet your first NPC. He fills you in on the circumstances of the area you're in. A bunch of earthquakes have cut this area of the sea off from the outside world. A big fish named Ironhead has taken charge, and by the way everyone talks about him, he's not the most welcome of leaders. The most immediate issue is the dwindling food supply. Your squid's main goal is simply to escape by any means possible. To do that, you'll need to get past one of Ironhead's henchmen. Thus begins a game of run-around as you try to satisfy everyone's demands.

Not long after receiving this information, you'll finally get the ability to attack. It's nothing more than a pointy hat that the squid can wear. In a bit of a turn-around from many other games, you need to coax enemies into colliding with the top of your head. The easiest way to do that is to approach from below, but later on you'll get an ability that allows you to charge horizontally. Your pointy hat also allows you to destroy certain bricks. While you often need an item to move forward, sometimes you just have to talk to the right creatures and go to the right places to trigger an event. As you defeat enemies and gather life-restoring fish, you'll also gain experience points. Leveling up extends your life bar and allows you to damage certain enemies that you might not have been able to before.

It all leads up to a face-off against Ironhead, but upon claiming victory, you find out that you had the wrong idea about him. Suddenly, another cluster of earthquakes strike. The structural integrity of the area is coming apart. Now that you finally have access to the food stores, you can recover something of yours that ended up in there. Namely, it's your rocket ship, Sally. Taking control of Sally, who somehow controls just like a squid, you have to run around and talk to every NPC to get them on-board. Once you have everyone, and I do mean everyone, you can finally blast off to safety. The game closes with a view of the very crowded ship overlooking an Earth-like planet as your friend Ben complains about the fishy smell.

It's over and done with quite quickly, but it's long enough to give you a good feel for its mechanics. I think the concept could be expanded out into something bigger, but for what's here, I think the Nintendo 3DS version of Ikachan is just about right. The PC version feels a little too short by comparison, even as it hits most of the same points. The unusual means of movement help the game stand out, and the game finishes before it spends the goodwill of its novelty. Ironhead's story is a short but effective tale about the dangers of accepting only one account of a situation, while his little henchman Hanson will have you doing all kinds of morally-questionable things in order to progress. Well, okay, mostly just taking more than your fair share of food. But given the circumstances, it's pretty bad.

In its brief running time, we can see a lot of elements and themes that would become a regular part of Pixel's style. Cute though it may be, there's a darkness running through it that threatens to swallow everything up. Ikachan's world is naturally a murky one, being so far under the sea. Fish skeletons abound, packed into the walls and even used as the vessels for items. Then there's the basic set-up of being a stranger of mysterious origins trying to escape an inhabited world. Who or what is your squid, really? Unlike Pixel's later games, Ikachan doesn't offer any real answers. Your companion, Ben the star, remarks that you're looking a bit squiddy today, so we can assume that isn't supposed to be your normal form. The NPCs are also imbued with a lot of personality. They're fairly one-note in this game, but they are distinct. The late-game revelation about Ironhead is also a typical flourish of Pixel.

Ikachan might not be as fully-formed as some of this developer's later titles, but I think it stands on its own tentacles quite well, particularly in the expanded Nintendo 3DS version of the game. It's impressive to think that this was Pixel's first game release. Sure, he had more impressive things ahead of him, but it's not that there's anything particularly wrong with Ikachan. It's short and sweet. It's unfortunate that it may never escape the shadow cast by its younger sibling.

Azarashi

Original Release Date: 2001

Original Hardware: Windows PC

Azarashi is typical of most of Pixel's lesser-known games. It has great art and music, but the gameplay mechanics are about as deep as an early Game & Watch. The set-up is that there are three seal keychains hanging from strings. They'll drop at random times, and you need to fire a dart to peg them to the wall by the rings of their chains. The quicker you do it, the more points you'll get. If you wait too long, they'll fall off the screen and you won't get any points. Jump the gun, however, and you'll fire your dart right through the head of the adorable little animal, splattering blood and killing it. That, uh, also gives you zero points. After three increasingly speedy rounds, your final score is tallied. You'll be awarded a prize based on how well you did, and eventually, you might even unlock some new keychains. They don't behave any differently, but variety is the spice of life, no?

That's really all there is to Azarashi. It's a test of reflexes wrapped up in a nice presentation, with a few interesting secrets tossed in for good measure. There are actually a few versions of this game, which means it's been remade more often than any of Pixel's other games save Cave Story. Its very first release on PC was in beta form in 1998. The graphics are much simpler here than in the other versions, but it plays basically the same. While not an official release, this is probably one of Pixel's earliest games, which might explain why it seems to be near to his heart. The official release happened a few years later in 2001. The art was redone with a cleaner Flash-like look to it. For both PC versions, the controls simply have you pressing the number keys from one to three to pin the keychains.

The iOS remake was released in 2012. It was Pixel's first work on the platform, and it brings the game's style more in line with what people have come to expect from the developer. The art has a softer, more pixelated look to it, and the new background music has similar vibes to Pixel's work from Cave Story. I'm pretty sure this is the first version of the game with most of the secrets and unlockables added in, but it could just be that I couldn't find them in my short time with the PC version. Naturally, instead of pushing number keys to fire darts, you simply tap the portion of the screen that corresponds with each keychain. While it's not like pushing buttons isn't intuitive, Azarashi feels like a game that was made for a touchscreen.

I'd hesitate to call the game fun in the traditional sense of the word, but it's an amusing distraction, I suppose. The problem being that it's an amusing distraction on platforms that are full of such things, with only Pixel's fine attention to art and sound giving it an edge. As such, the majority of Azarashi's value is as a historical object for fans of Pixel's other works. I do think it's interesting in as far as it shows the developer's commitment to mixtures of cute things and darker elements, but there's only so far a simple reflex test can go.

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Next: Cave Story

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