#I think we all know neither of them can spend an hour without seeing or even talking to eachother lol

[haedalkoo]

The car conversation and grammar: "When I was busy, you were free but you never called me."

After rewatching the episodes a few times (I just couldn't get enough of them) and reading the opinions floating around, I wanted to add my two cents to the car conversation discourse. This post is mostly about language and interpretations. Keep in mind I'm not 100% fluent in Korean, but I understand the language to a significant degree.

Let's get started!

It's time to put on my Korean-is-an-awfully-ambiguous-language cap. Buckle up.

The conversation starts with Jimin saying they haven't gone somewhere in a long time. I would say it's not that they haven't hung out, but that they haven't traveled together or gone out like that. This is just my interpretation, though. JK tells him, "we were supposed to get a drink" (as in, meet up and go for a drink 만나서 (meet and) 술 한잔 하자 (go get a drink)). Then, Jimin says "원래 그런 거 아니겠니" which loosely translates to "isn't that how it's supposed to be originally?" as in, that's what happens, you talk about doing this or that together and it never ends up happening. Like the travel show, if JM hadn't flown to JK. Like the times he tells Tae to meet up but never happens. Life gets in the way.

But this is the interesting part. Jimin's reply to me comes off a little defensive (in a joking manner), as if saying, "don't blame me for not meeting up (it's not like I didn't want to, I couldn't)." but JK keeps pushing him. He says:

"형 바쁠 땐 / 내가 겁나 한가한데 / 안 찾고. 나 바쁠 땐 / 형 한가한데 / 안 찾고."

This sentence is a grammatical nightmare. He isn't using any particles, which help indicate who's the subject or object of the sentence. So you can only guess based in context. I've marked Jimin (hyung) in orange, JK refering to himself ("me") in purple, and "didn't come looking for" in pink. 찾다 (jatda) means to search for, look for.

Many K-armys have been pointing the same thing out, and I agree. The repetition of 안 찾고, to me, feels like he's making the same point in different situations.

When you were busy, I was so freaking (겁나) free

When I was busy, you were free

And in neither of these cases you came looking for me.

That's why Jimin jumps in immediately to defend himself in a whiny tone.

아니지 찾았지! That's not true, I did go looking for you! (The ending 지 indicates a reiteration, something both the speaker and recipient know as true.)

He took that personally LOL. But this makes so much sense in retrospective, think of all of those 2023 lives were JK was asking JM to come over, to do a live together, and JM's response was always "I'm busy" "Hyung needs to go" "You/I have a schedule." Jungkook was lonely without him. Jimin probably felt bad and did as much as he could to see him ("I did reach out!") - to the point he flew fourteen hours to spend quality time with JK. HOWEVER, this is just an interpretation. The lack of clear pronouns and particles makes this really hard to translate, which is why the show translator interpreted it as "when you were busy and I was free, I didn't call you." Both interpretations are valid, but giving their reactions and context, I feel like this one makes the most sense to me.

If we go with my interpretation, after that, I feel like Jimin tries to ease the conversation/justify himself by saying how him and Tae don't meet up either even if they videocall often. As if saying "I'm not pushing you aside, I'm really not meeting up with anyone else either". This makes Jungkook laugh, but he still wonders lightly "I don't think we would be seeing each other (either) if it weren't for this (trip/shoot)." I want to reiterate how lighthearted this comment is, he's simply wondering (but still teasing a little.)

But again, Jimin feels the need to defend himself "yah, that's why I (hyung) came here!" (again, he uses a grammar that highlights the information being said is something the two of them know, something obvious.) To me this felt very whiny/cute, like, "stop saying I didn't make time to see you! I'm literally right here!!" and I think JK gets the hint that if he keeps pushing JM might get upset, so he smoothes things over by repeating over and over again, "that's right, you came, you came."

It's a response to the previous "you weren't looking for me." You did come looking for me. You found me. We're okay now.

Finally.

[kushnovice]

Spinning My World

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Stark! Reader

Synopsis: Reader tends to the avengers wounds constantly and when Tony opens an emotional wound in the reader, Bucky is there to help.

wc: 2.4k

Warnings: my first bucky fic, medical, wounds, tending to wounds, sibling rivalry, mention of dead parents, fluffy love, slow-burn

AN: Female reader, fluffy, lots of mistakes, self indulgent (Pictures are not mine nor are any characters part of this)

What makes the earth go round? to most people it's money, to others it's family. To me, it's love.

I grew up with Tony Stark, my older brother. He was never that big on affection which was something he picked up from our parents and because of that, Tony and I aren't as close as we once were before our parents died. I spend most of my time making sure the house is always put together and cooking food for Tony and Pepper. I always feel a little guilty as I haven't achieved as much as my older brother and living with him and all of his fancy things just rubs it in. I also spend a lot of time studying. Since we have the money, I am attending an Ivy League school online. Unlike Tony, I don't like robots and technology, I prefer to help people. I am majoring in Medical Science as well as minoring in Psychology, which the amount of work is unbearable.

I sigh as I close one of my textbooks, my notebook, and my laptop, leaving them on the desk in my room. I make my through the long winding halls and into the kitchen, the tiles on the floor leaving my feet cold as I walk. I flick on the light as I walk in and take a deep breath, finally feeling at peace. The kitchen was always my safe space since Tony never cooked for himself, neither did any of the avengers. It was my own tiny world of peace.

I smile softly to myself as I make my way to the sink, I start to wash my hands while humming a song. "Friday, can you play (song name)?" As the song starts playing, I feel more comfortable as I start pulling what I would need from the fridge and the cabinets. I then fill up a pot of water and put it on the stove to boil and preheat the oven before I start separating and seasoning the chicken. I then start to cut up some veggies before checking on the pasta that I am making. After everything is cooking, I take the time to dance in the kitchen, just enjoying the music and how it flows through my body. That was until I heard the door open. I jerk my head to see who it is, only to be stunned by the sight in front of me. There he was, the most beautiful creature this world had ever created, but he was drenched in blood. Without thinking, I walk right up to him and start to examine him from what I can see. "Oh buck, what happened this time?" I ask as I eye him up and down for injuries, feeling better after not finding any serious ones. Bucky sighed deeply, "The mission was hijacked. I'm not the only Injured one." I sigh deeply as I take the food out of the oven and put the veggies and sauce into the pasta. Then, without a second thought, i make my way to the medical clinic, which I pretty much run.

I put my coat on and wash my hands again before putting on gloves. I make my way into the emergency room that we have to see Tony laying on a gurney. I immediately start to cut his shirt and pants off as I examine his body, the deep wounds showing no mercy as they continue to bleed. I sterilize the wound and start stitching him up and taking my time to make sure it's perfect.

After a few hours, I was done with making sure Tony was alright and had checked out all of the other team members. I look at the clock and sigh deeply when I realize that it is close to 1 in the morning. I make my way through the winding hallways again and I stand outside of Buckys room. "Hey Buck, are you awake?" I ask softly knowing his super human hearing can pick up my voice, and sure enough because the door unlocks and slides open revealing that he had just got out of the shower. I blush slightly as i try not to stare at his bare chest, "oh um...sorry I was just coming to give you a quick check up..." I shuffle awkwardly at his door but he nods softly and lets me in his room.

The smell of Axe Body spray and Midsummers Night circle the room. I sit Bucky down as I start to stitch up a few of his wounds. It stays mostly silent, neither of us knowing what to talk about until Bucky speaks up, "aren't you tired?" I furrow my eyebrows, "why would I be tired?" Bucky sighs deeply, "we go on these missions almost daily and you're the only one who gives us medical help, isn't it tiring?" I look up from his stitches to smile softly at Bucky, "No, it's not tiring. If anything, it gives me a purpose and makes me a hero like you guys." I giggle to myself at how corny that sounded before going back to stich bucky up.

After I am done, I make sure I didn't miss any dry blood before I stand up, "make sure you eat dinner, I don't know if the others did yet but you need to eat." I smile at him to which he gives me a small smile at the end of his lips. "I did eat already, it was delicious." I smile at him as I watch him put his shirt back on, "good good, I tried a new recipe today so I'm glad it is good." I smile to myself thinking about how Bucky enjoyed my food. "Did you eat yet?" Bucky asks with a furrowed eyebrow and I'm left shocked, normally i'm the one asking that question. "I was about too, then all of that happened," I smile at Bucky but his facial expressions don't change this time. "You really should eat." I nod my head and start to make my way into the kitchen to see a huge mess of plates and bowls and forks all over the place and all of the food gone. "at least they liked it" I smile to myself as I shrug off my coat and take off my gloves, "Friday, some music please" I speak as I start to pick up the plates and bowls and utensil's and place them in the sink. I then pick up all the trash and wipe down the counter while dancing around the kitchen. I spend a few hours cleaning, until it is spotless before I turn off the music and realize I wasn't alone. As I go to grab my coat and turn off the light, I hear a voice, "Aren't you going to eat?" I whip my head around, looking for where the voice came from until I can see Bucky, just outside the door. "there was no more left, i'm glad everyone enjoyed it." I smile at him but he doesn't smile back, he makes his way into the kitchen and starts grabbing stuff. "woah woah woah what are you doing?" I ask as I watch him start up the stove. "You need to eat. More than any of us." Buckys voice is stern and emotionless but I can tell that he cares. "I'm alright, I'll be up in a few hours to cook breakfast anyways." I look at the time and then at Bucky who then turns to me with furrowed eyes again his eyes studying me and trying to figure me out as he looks me up and down. "Why do you cook for everyone? Why do you go out of your way for everyone? I don't get how that benefits you." I sigh deeply, "I don't do it for me, I do it for you guys. You guys are heros and are saving the world every day. the least I can do is cook you guys a warm meal and make sure you guys don't get too hurt." "But why?" Bucky asks as he cracks open an egg and starts to cook it. "You guys deserve it, you deserve the best." I smile at him softly, watching his movements while I think. "Why do you save the world?" I ask while watching his movements. He seems relaxed and calm "Because if I can help save the world then there's hope to save myself." He speaks in a quiet whisper, "why do you save us? why are you so interested in medicine?" He asks with seriousness, trying to understand me better. "I was never taught self defense so I save the world in the only way I know, medicine." Bucky turns to look at me, "you don't give yourself enough credit, no one does." I can hear how he sighs softly. I let myself smile, knowing this was his way of showing he cared. Bucky finished cooking the food and he made two plates, setting one in front of me while he sat across the table from me. He immediately downs his food within seconds leaving me to take awhile to finish my food. When I'm finished eating, I grab our plates and put them in the dishwasher. When i make my way back into the dining room, Bucky is watching me as soon as I enter the room. "What? Is there food on my face?" I jokingly ask, with a smirk on my face as I make my way back to sit down. Bucky snorts softly at my comment, "No, I just don't get how someone could look so pretty after working for so many hours." Buckys voice is soft but his eyes are full of emotion as his hands fold on the table. I feel myself melt under his gaze as my cheeks start to burn, "Oh, uhm...thanks..." I giggle lightly, "You aren't too bad looking for someone who just got stitched up." I reply causing bucky to be taken aback.

"Why are you two up at 2 in the morning?" Tony asks as he walks into the dining room in his black robe that is barely covering his bare chest and his blazers. Tony somehow still has his shades on as well as his slippers on as he sets down some coffee and a sandwich at the table and sits down. "I was just making sure your sister ate after giving everyone medical exams." Bucky replied as he stared blankly at tony as he ate. "Interesting." Tony replied quickly as he started to eat. "I'm glad that your mission didn't go to badly, not many people were injured." I smiled at Tony as I recall the injuries that everyone had got. Tony sighed as he swallowed the food in his mouth, "Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?" I roll my eyes at how immature Tony still is after all of these years. "Somebody's cranky." I snort to myself, Tony glares daggers at me. "Somebody needs to shut up." I smile at Tony, now enjoying fucking with him. "I don't have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel." I smirk at Tony, thinking I got the better up. "Frankly, I don't care. Just like how he never cared about Mom and Dad. You know who killed them right?" Tony asks as he glares between Bucky and I. "If you're insinuating that Bucky killed our parents then fuck you!" I yell in Tony's face, not able to control my anger as I get up and storm off. Bucky looks at Tony as Tony finishes his sandwich, not purposefully glaring but staring deeply at him causing Tony to get uncomfortable and scramble out of the room.

Bucky sighs deeply as he makes his way to my room, thinking of the right words to say as he ends up right outside of my door. "Hey...I know Tony's words really hurt but I'd like to tell you my story, not what you've heard from files but my life the way I lived it, when I had control of my life." Bucky expected no response honestly, who would want to talk to their parents murderer? Surprisingly the door swung open as Bucky looked in at my small trembling figure on the floor, a pang in his heart caused him to lose his breath seeing her in such pain.

I lift my head to meet Buckys soft eyes as he moves to sit on the bed next to me. His voice was kind but also firm as he told me all about his life, from his time in Brooklyn with Steve all the way through Hydra, he spoke about my parents last almost as if to save me the pain. "Your parents...they were a mission I had to carry out while apart of Hydra, or else I would have died as well as them...I wish I never had too..." Bucky sighs deeply as he looks at the ground. "You don't have to be my friend or even be nice to me, but I just wanted you to know that I never wanted to hurt anyone." Bucky softly got up, expecting to be kicked out before he felt my hands wrapped around his human arm. "I want to be your friend. It hurts knowing that you did that to my parents and I don't think that hurt will ever go away, but I do know that it wasn't you, that you didn't do it on your own will. I forgive you, Buck." I speak softly as I wrap my arms around Bucky's human hand, taking his warmth from him as it comforts my shaking body as I am able to relax into my bed and into Bucky, feeling safe and comfortable for once. I don't remember what happened after that other than my eyes forcing themselves closed as Bucky's mechanical arm softly strokes my hair.

I wake up to the sun shining brightly in my eyes causing me to instantly rub my eyes. I stretch with a small groan, wishing to be asleep still as I reach my arms above my head. I hear a rough chuckle beside me and open my eyes to see Bucky smirking down at me, "Morning, Doll." I feel my face go red at the nickname. I roll over to face him in the bed, "I'm sorry that I kept you here all night." I apologize softly as I yawn the sleepy feeling away. He smiled softly down at me, the golden sun reflecting off of his eyes making it look like tigers eye. "You have nothing to apologize for, darling." He used his fingers to swoop the stray strands of hair out of my face. "It was the best sleep I have gotten in awhile." He confessed as he pulled me a little closer, his body heat keeping me warm as he smiled down at me cheekily. "Don't smile at me like that, you know it drives me crazy..." I giggle at him softly as I place my hand on his face before leaning in. Bucky closed the gap as he took my lips in his, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in closer as he chuckles into the kiss.

"How else would I make your world spin?"

[bethanydelleman]

Bingley was at fault too.....

Bingley's "modesty" is mostly just the result of Darcy's bad influence on him . Darcy said it himself; Bingley kept relying on him so much because it made life for him easier, he knows that he's impulsive and instead of dealing with his flaws, he just relies on Darcy to check him. He knew Jane loved him and the only effect that Jane acting like a lady should act is simply him not knowing how much she liked him, he knew love was there. And because Darcy thought she did not , he decided that she does not love him after all.

Both Darcy and Bingley are irresponsible; Darcy knew Bingley falls out of love all the time and yet he did not think that Jane might form a serious attachment because of his advances. He only cares about Bingley because it's HIS friend not out of a desire to help others.

Bingley hits on Jane immediately and courts her in front of everyone ; then left her after knowing everyone was expecting marriage ; if he wanted to leave, at least he shouldn't make it seem like he was running away from her, this might affect her reputation . I know he had planned to return but Darcy convinced not to; but he should at least claim an excuse that had nothing to do with Jane so he would not embarass her.

I disagree with most of what you are saying here. I don't think Bingley could have possibly been that confident or known that Jane loved him.

Elizabeth admits that Jane is hard to read and no one would have been entirely sure of her love:

He declared himself to have been totally unsuspicious of her sister’s attachment; and she could not help remembering what Charlotte’s opinion had always been. Neither could she deny the justice of his description of Jane. She felt that Jane’s feelings, though fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in her air and manner, not often united with great sensibility.

And also, Jane & Bingley don't spend a ton of time together in the two months that Bingley is at Netherfield. This is not modern dating:

“Perhaps he must, if he sees enough of her. But though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together. Jane should therefore make the most of every half hour in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of him, there will be leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses.”

I think you are greatly overestimating how well Bingley would understand Jane's heart. He can't ask if she likes him either, it's all about subtle encouragement. We don't know what Darcy and his sisters said to him, but I can see how someone would be persuaded that Jane didn't actually love him. I think modesty is one of Bingley's strengths, not a fault. And, he's also not as persuadable as people sometimes say, we see him stand up to both his sisters and Darcy.

Mrs. Bennet said that Jane was ill-used, but she doesn't suffer any reputation damage. Mrs. Gardiner basically says, "These things happen" and moves on. We have no evidence at all that it hurt Jane in any way except emotionally. Also, Bingley & Jane don't act like Marianne & Willoughby or Wentworth & Louisa, we do not hear that everyone who saw them expected an engagement. It did not go that far. It was a fervent hope, not an honour-bound expectation. It was also a lot of Mrs. Bennet telling everyone that it would happen.

Darcy was wrong, but after the Bennets' display of vulgarity at the ball, he thought he was doing the right thing for his friend. Was he biased? Yes, the narrator tells us so, but that doesn't mean he was irresponsible. If Bingley hadn't been truly in love, he would have been doing the right thing.

That said, both Bingley and Darcy do have flaws, but Bingley is young and being impulsive when you're 23 and filthy rich isn't that bad. Darcy protecting his friend isn't a flaw, though his reasoning wasn't without bias. And I'm sure he does often have a good influence on Bingley.

[girlgenius1111]

we don't have to talk about it

part 2 of cool about it because you're all depressed

warnings: heavy descriptions of depression + depressive thoughts. self harm. maybe we'll make reader go to therapy in the next installment.

also i didn't proofread this purely so i can read it before bed and feel all warm and fuzzy inside

Alexia made a conscious effort to be more attentive to your mood, noticing highs and lows. You still struggled to let her in, and tell her when you weren't doing well, but it was improving. Mostly because of how persistent she was.

Alexia knowing, and just being there, was so helpful. It had been so long since you'd really struggled, and things were going well in your life, generally, so it caught you off guard when things started to worsen.

It was a few months after Alexia really learned about the depths of you mental health struggles, and both of you were incredibly busy. So busy, in fact, that neither of you really noticed that you weren't doing well. You chalked up your low energy to exhaustion from the season, and stress, and Alexia didn't think to question it.

It only hit you, what was really going on, when the Alexia left on national duty, and you remained in Barcelona. While England had been eliminated from the Nations League, you still had friendlies to play, but you'd picked up a minor concussion, and stayed behind, not wanting to risk anything for a friendly.

10 days without Alexia was not something you were looking forward too, and 10 days without Alexia, while you couldn't practice, sounded pretty awful. Maybe this is what caused your slump, or maybe it was some combination of the concussion and being alone with nothing to do. Or maybe, it was just something that happened.

You liked to think you had the depression beat, completely managed. Trying to find a cause to attribute your low mood too was your way of convincing yourself that you were fine. Normally it worked.

A few days after Alexia left, you realized what was going on. You had returned from dropping her at the airport, immediately falling asleep on the couch. You normally didn't nap, only when you weren't feeling right, so when you woke up a few hours later, you were already suspicious. This suspicion only remained over the next couple days, growing with each irritating symptom.

Leaving the house was an ordeal. You tried to get out everyday, you really did, but everything made your head hurt, and it was so much easier to stay in. And you were so, so, tired. Exhaustion that settled in your bones, that didn't fade even marginally, no matter how much you slept. You found yourself stressing over simple things, like what to reply to Alexia's good morning text, or what to eat for lunch. You made excuses for why you couldn't spend time with your teammates that had also remained in Barcelona, because none of them were Alexia, and Alexia was all you wanted.

You just didn't feel right. All you wanted to do was lay down and do nothing. Something within you ached, and you couldn't get rid of it. And with the ache, came insecurity. All the progress you'd made, letting Alexia see this part of you, vanished as soon as things got a little harder than normal. You had a lot of time to think, and think you did. About how sure you were that Alexia really didn't wan't to deal with this, with you like this.

Part of you wanted her, desperately, and the other part wouldn't allow it. It was so confusing, like all your emotions were contradicting each other. As a result, you pulled back a little. Answering her texts with shorter responses, making excuses about why you couldn't call. You told yourself that it was because you wanted her to focus on the games she was playing. Really, it was because you knew the minute she talked to you for more than 5 minutes, she'd know something wasn't right.

You were used to the decent into feeling worthless when you were depressed. It had never quite been this bad before; the regular feelings seemed to combine with the immense guilt you felt. Guilt for not letting Alexia in, and for letting her in too much. For not being strong enough to go 10 days without her, just 10 days, without completely collapsing. The guilt made you feel worse, until it was almost unbearable. Until it was unbearable. That was around day 7.

Day 9 was when you did the thing you promised yourself that you would never do again. You couldn't help it, really. Everything in your brain was screaming at you that you weren't good, weren't trying hard enough, weren't good enough at anything.

In hindsight, maybe trying to get rid of guilt by doing something that had, historically, made you feel incredibly guilty, was not the best plan. With each cut, the guilt weighing on you grew, until it stopped. Until there was nothing, you felt nothing, except the sharp sting on your thigh. You finally had a moment of peace, but it didn't last long.

Because, fuck, Alexia was going to be home tomorrow. Perfect, sweet Alexia, who took herself so seriously, and who blamed herself whenever anything went wrong.

You didn't cry, you didn't think you could, but you wanted to. As you disinfected and bandaged your thigh, you wished that you would feel the sting of tears in your eyes, but none came. Tears would have been a sign that you were coming out of this, whatever was happening to you.

You went to bed that night, not setting an alarm because you didn't need to get Alexia from the airport until the afternoon. You drifted off, buried on her side of the bed, wearing only her clothes, clinging to her pillow desperately. Every movement you made stung your leg, and you were reminded of what you'd done to yourself. You couldn't remember the last time it had been this bad, this heavy, this incapacitating. Your last thoughts before you fell asleep was how the hell you were going to keep this from Alexia.

-----

Alexia wasn't really sure what was going on. You'd seemed fine when she left, concussed and tired, but fine. As the days passed, she noticed you pull away. It was a busy break, and she had meetings on top of training and games. Her little free time was spent worrying, wondering if you were mad at her. It was the only thing she could think of, because you'd been so good about telling her when you weren't feeling right.

Her worry had grown so much that her friends got tired of how distracted she was, and told her to just fly back early if she was so concerned.

She only landed a few hours earlier, in the morning, getting an uber to your guys' apartment. Alexia was sure she'd find you mad at her, about something, and was prepared to do anything to fix it. What she wasn't expecting was to find you sitting on the couch, wrapped in one of her blankets, staring at the door as she walked in as if she'd caught you cheating on her or something.

"Ale?" you wondered, "I- I was gonna get you from the airport. Later. What are you doing here?"

Something wasn't right. You weren't mad, which she would've preferred to the empty look on your face. Normally when you guys reunited, even after only a couple days apart, you greeted her with a hug, and kisses. You were sitting, frozen, on the couch though.

"I came earlier, I missed you," she said, watching carefully as she spoke. "Can I have a hug, amor?"

At that, you seemed to realize that Alexia really was here, right in front of you, and you launched yourself off the couch, around the coffee table, and into her arms.

"Oof- hola mi bebé," she said, catching you in her arms with a huff. You clung to her, desperately, and she returned the embrace, as you buried your face in her chest. She was startled to feel that you were trembling slightly in her embrace. She tightened her arms around you, pressing a kiss to your head, before pulling away, and cradling your face with her hands.

"What's wrong? You're shaking."

"Just a long week. I missed you." You replied, but you wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Okay... if you say so. I need to shower. Want to join me?" She asked, hoping to distract you from whatever was wrong. She was well versed in how to get you to talk, and distracting you until she could catch you off guard was one sure way.

Alexia watched as your face brightened slightly, and you opened your mouth to say yes. Suddenly though, a look of panic crossed your face, your mouth snapped shut, and you shook your head.

"No, I... No I don't feel like showering." You told her shakily. You winced internally, realizing you probably could have come up with a better excuse than that. You couldn't shower with her though, couldn't let her see you. See what you'd done. She'd been with you through a lot, but never this. Never with something this bad.

Alexia was looking at you, very carefully. As different explanations for why you wouldn't want to shower with her flew through her head, an explanation that covered how panicked you had been when you said no, she settled on a clear answer. One that made her heart sink, and one that explained your odd behavior the past 10 days.

You knew you were caught, the look on her face told you that she'd put it together. She softened, looking at you so gently, it made you want to collapse into her arms.

"Mi amor-" She started, but you interrupted.

"I have to go. I have an errand to run, I need to go," You said, because you couldn't deal with this. You just couldn't. You tried to head for the door, but Alexia's grip on you was strong, one hand holding your wrist, the other wrapping around your waist, pulling you into her.

"No, bebé, I need you to stay here," she cooed into your ear and you shook your head frantically.

"No, Ale, please, I need to go," you said, struggling against her, and she felt tears pooling in her eyes at the desperation with which you spoke. Alexia didn't respond, simply kissing your cheek a few times until she felt you go limp in her arms, abandoning your fight.

Alexia picked you up easily, cradling you in her arms, and made her way to your bedroom. As she walked in, she noticed that your side of the bed was untouched. On her pillow, one of her sweatshirts was crumpled there, as if you'd been holding it as you slept. She didn't understand why you hadn't called her. You'd clearly needed her, desperately, but you'd suffered in silence. She set you down on the edge of the bed, and you stared at the floor.

Kneeling in between your legs, she looked up at you. "Y/n, what happened?" She asked carefully.

"I don't know. It just got so out of control and I didn't know what else to do." You replied, still refusing to meet her eyes. She wanted to shout that you could have called her, could have asked her for help. That wouldn't do anything, though, so she just nodded.

"Come shower with me, please. Then we can just hangout until you're ready to talk," she said, and you knew there was no other option. You nodded, and she stood, tilting your chin up to press a sweet kiss to your lips. "I love you." She told you, figuring that you might need to hear it.

"I love you too." you replied, giving her a weak smile.

Alexia took your hand, and led you into the bathroom. She turned the shower on, setting it to the exact temperature you would have, and your heart clenched at the small gesture. She turned back to you, and you felt your lip start to tremble, knowing what you needed to do.

"Mi niña bonita, it's going to be okay, I promise." She said, noticing the tears in your eyes. She gently tugged your top and bra off, trailing kisses down your chest and stomach as she kneeled in front of you. There was nothing sexual about the actions, she was simply trying to bring you any comfort she could. She rested her hands on the waistband of the sweatpants you had on, looking up at you, waiting for you to be ready.

"Are you mad?" you asked, squeezing your eyes shut.

"No. I'm not mad, I could never be mad. Not for this," she promised, and you opened your eyes, looking down at her. She was looking up at you, green eyes wide with such sincerity, you nodded, giving her the go ahead.

Alexia tugged your pants and underwear down together, carefully lifting the waistband over the bandage on your thigh. She worked to keep her face neutral, which was hard. The brown bandage covered up so much of your thigh, all of your old scars were covered by it. She bit her lip, trying to withhold her emotions for now. You needed her, which she was reminded when she looked back up at you, to see you staring at the ceiling.

"Amor, can I take this off?" she asked. Now that she knew you had clearly properly cared for the cuts, she didn't need to take the bandage off, and she wouldn't make you. She wanted to see, though, see how bad it was. She had to know, if she was going to be able to help. One cut was a lot different than ten.

You looked back down at her, taking a second before answering. everything in you was telling you to say no, but hiding things hadn't been working so well. It was what got you on the bathroom floor with a razor blade yesterday, and now, with your girlfriend kneeled at your feet, thumbs rubbing gentle circles into the skin of your thigh.

"I'll do it," you told her, taking a deep breath. You reached your hands down from where they held tight to the counter, ignoring the way they shook. You tugged on the bandage, not bothering to be gentle as you peeled it off. You wouldn't look, you couldn't. You heard Alexia's intake of breath at the sight, and you felt a tear drop from your face. You felt something featherlight touch the partially healed cuts, and you looked down on instinct. Alexia was placing a light kiss on every cut, and you couldn't hold back anymore.

Letting out a sob, you cried harder than you had in a long time. "I'm sorry, Ale, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." Alexia was up in a flash, cradling you against her as you cried. Her hands rubbed up and down your bare back as she spoke quietly in your ear.

"It's okay, you don't need to be sorry, mi amor. I love you. It's all going to be okay. Estoy aquí, no voy a ninguna. Te tengo, para siempre," she murmured.

She got you to stop crying, if only slightly, and pulled you into the shower, after taking her own clothes off. It was a blur, you knew she washed your hair, and you knew she was talking to you the whole time, but suddenly, you were sitting on the bed again, and she was carefully wrapping up your thigh.

"Feel okay?" she asked, once she'd secured the bandage on. You told her it did and she sent you a soft smile, before pulling clothes on you both. Alexia gave you your favorite sweatshirt of hers, an old Barca crewneck, and herself pulled on one of yours, a grey, ripped and faded hoodie, that she swore was the softest thing you owned.

Carefully, she brushed your hair out, tying it back in a loose braid, knowing you hated when your wet hair got your shirt all wet. She brushed through her own hair quickly, not daring to leave your side. It was silent as she did so. You were truly astounded with the level of care with which she was treating you. It made you feel like the thoughts that had been swirling around your brain for days might be wrong.

Alexia made the bed, then, knowing you preferred to lay on top of the covers with a blanket during the day, before laying down, and opening her arms for you to join her. You crawled up the bed, settling down with your back to her chest, lacing your fingers with hers, and pulling her arms to wrap around your body.

It was calming, feeling the rise and fall of your girlfriend's chest under you, feeling her chin rest lightly on the top of your head. Alexia wasn't sure what to say, where to start. She had so many questions. Luckily, it had seemed you'd found your voice, as you spoke.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you it was bad again," you rasped, throat somewhat raw from crying.

"Why didn't you?" she questioned.

"It wasn't on purpose at first. And then suddenly it was so bad and I didn't want you to know. I was worried it would be too much. I felt so guilty, like I was letting you down by not calling, but like I couldn't burden you with it."

Alexia hummed in response, thinking carefully about her next words. "Bebé, did you really think I'd be mad at you?"

"Yeah. When I get like this, I just. Convince myself that I'm not good enough for you, and I'm so scared that if I mess up, you'll leave."

"I'm not leaving. Ever. No matter what," she promised. "Can you tell me why? What were you thinking that made you do that to yourself?" You took a deep breath at her words, and you felt her arms tighten around you, just slightly.

"I felt like a bad person. I couldn't even make it 10 days without you, I was such a mess. I couldn't feel anything, but this insane guilt, all I could hear was my brain telling me that I'm not good. I just needed it to stop." It was the most you'd ever told anyone. You felt Alexia deserved an actual explanation, and you trusted her. You really did, even though sometimes it seemed like you didn't. It was you that you didn't trust as much.

"Did it work?"

"For a bit. Then all I could think was that you were going to be disappointed in me." You felt her shake her head behind you.

"Never. You are good, mi niña, you are so good. You are kind, and thoughtful, and you always make me laugh. When I get to make you smile, it's better than scoring 100 goals in Camp Nou. You are the most important thing to me."

"And it makes me chest hurt, to think of you doing this, to think that your thoughts were so bad, you didn't feel like you had another choice. You always have another choice, mi amor. You can always call me when you need me. When you feel like that, and your brain isn't being very nice to you, I will remind you every time that it's wrong." she paused.

"And I don't want you to feel like you need to hide it from me if you hurt yourself. I want to know, because I love you, and I care about you, and I want you to be safe, and happy, and healthy. I'll never be mad, mi amor. I want to help, but I can only do that if you let me, if you trust me," she finished, wishing she could see your face.

"I trust you. I promise I do, I just got so scared that it would be too much this time."

"You will never be too much for me," she responded firmly.

"I promise that if this happens again, I'll tell you. I promise," you repeated, promising yourself as well. Alexia kissed the top of your head in response. You shifted on top of her, rolling onto your stomach, resting your chin on her chest to look at her. Her thumb came up to gently wipe a tear off your face.

"Thank you. I know you said you don't mind, that you aren't mad, but you don't have to be as perfect, as patient, as you are."

"You are perfect, mi niña, you'll always be perfect. My most perfect girl," she said. You couldn't find a trace of doubt in her face. You looked up at her for a few more seconds, and she looked down at you, watching as you decided whether or not to speak.

"What is it?" she asked gently, watching as you fought back tears once again.

"It's stupid," you replied, and she raised an eyebrow at you. "I was clean for 4 years, and now I'm not. I have to go back to day 1, Ale, and I don't know how." You told her, vulnerability clear on your face.

"That's not stupid, not at all. We'll do it again, together. It'll be easier this, time because I'm not letting you do any of it alone. We'll get you to 4 years again, and 5 and 6. And if you slip up, we'll deal with that too. You aren't doing this by yourself, we'll figure it out. I promise."

"How do you always know what to say?" you asked, sniffling.

She chuckled lightly, and it was the first real smile you'd seen on her face since she'd walked through the door. "Because I know you, and I know how your brain works. I know that it's telling you, all the time, that I'm going to leave. All I need to do is promise that I'm not going anywhere, because I'm not. Being here, it's the easiest thing in the world, because you are so easy to love, so easy to be with."

Alexia tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, looking at you with an adoring face that you couldn't help but return. The force of her love for you tended to knock you off your feet, sometimes. You only really believed it, believed her, because you knew it was how you felt about her. You saw your love for her reflected in her eyes at you, and if anything was going to get you through this, it was the knowledge that she wanted to be here. That she loved you, no matter what. You knew she'd make you love yourself again, whatever it took.

-----

try to end one of my fics without both girls going to sleep challenge. i hope everything made sense. i feel like it's really hard to describe how i feel when i'm depressed, and i don't want to make it so specific that people will have a hard time relating. anyway, if you read this and it resonated with you at all, i hope you're doing okay. And if you're not, you will be. i promise. <3 i love you all

[lovebittenbyevans]

Dinner For Two | One Shot

Requested: Can you write something cute for Tyler X reader maybe they have a date at home but then he has to leave when a tornado alarm goes off leaving Y/n alone but he makes up for it when he gets back! @cevansbaby-dove

Summary: When you and Tyler finally have a date night for just the two of you but the date get cut short when Tyler has an emergency dealing with a tornado in the area. The night doesn’t go as you planned.

Pairing: Tyler Owens x Female Reader

Warnings: cursed words, slight angst

Author Note: I am a bit rusty but I hope you like it!

You looked happy to be spending time with Tyler, seated across from him at the table. It's been three weeks since you and Tyler last saw each other.

“I missed you.” You took one last bite of your steak.

Tyler grinned, but his expression was dissatisfied. “I missed you too but…” you were waiting for him to finish his thought. “Do you think this relationship is working?”

That question kind of caught you off guard. This was not how you were hoping your night with him would be.

“Uh…” you trailed off. “Excuse me? What?”

For almost a month Tyler has been thinking about this question a lot. This question has been bothering him on and off even though his heart was happy with you. He likes being with you.

He clears his throat. “We have a nice dinner once a week, we don’t have sex often and neither of us call–”

You slammed your cup on the table and gave him a glare look. “Wait! Wait! Please don’t blame this bullshit on me!” You leaned back in your seat trying to keep yourself calm.

He opened his mouth to respond but the alarm for tornado warning went off. “I’m sorry but I have to go.” He quickly got up taking his coat behind the chair.

You scoff and shake your head. “It’s fucking obvious I am not important anymore, Ty” You got up taking the plates with cups going straight to the kitchen.

Tyler rushed out of your house not hearing the last word you said. You sighed going straight to your bedroom not worrying about doing the dishes at the moment.

An hour and a half later, you heard on the news that a tornado was in the clear. You could careless about big dust of fucking wind in the air.

You wipe your tears away when you hear the doorbell ring. You sniffle getting off the bed with the green covers still over your shoulders. You walked out your bedroom door headed straight to the front door.

“Go away!” You yelled.

Another knock can be heard at your door along with a voice. “Bunny, please.” You roll your eyes as you reach the door.

Tyler was about to ring the doorbell again when you slowly opened the door. “What?” The sound of the thunder almost startled you.

“May I come in? I’m sorry.” He says.

You didn’t know to believe his stupid apology or smack him.

Tears filled your eyes again. “Sorry!? How are you sorry when you wanted a break up? You care more about them dumb tornadoes than me.”

He took a step toward you. “Baby, I’m sorry.” You didn’t realize he closed the gap between you two as he lifted you up wrapping your legs around his waist. “I can make it up to you.”

You tried to tell him to put you down but he was not listening to you. “Tyler! Put me down!” The front door closed as he lay you down on the couch and got on top of you.

“Baby, let me in.” He says, placing kisses all over your face. He realizes he can’t see his life without you in it.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Jake Kim x Reader: Cinema

G/N. Soft and fluffy feat Big Deal a lil.

 "You on a date, boss?"

Jake says yes without missing a beat, flashing you a grin and snaking his arm around your waist.

He sees the smirk on Jason's face, the light nudge Lineman gives Brad, and the pride and approval on Jerry's face.

The grin soon melts away though, when Brad follows up with "You going to see Rocky XX too?" and Jake only just manages to hide his grimace.

The answer to that is also yes. But he would prefer to not have a date crashed by the rest of the crew.

Heavens above, you're patient enough with Big Deal and so sweet to everyone. Gotten to know the street and the occupants like the back of your hand, spending more evenings and weekends there than not. 

However. Even with how much Jake lives and breathes Big Deal, he misses some one on one time with you.

Away from everyone, he thinks as he takes in the sight of his boys in front of him. He can't exactly tell them to go away though, can he? A rare weekend off work where they get to just be.

He succumbs to his fate. 

Imagines everyone huddled on the one row together. Seated next to each other. Cosy. A family affair instead of a romantic date. Probably won't be able to sneak you some kisses here and there-

"We're not seeing Rocky!" comes the unmistakable sound of Lua's voice. "We're going to watch The Boy and The Pigeon! Enjoy your film!"

She disappears as quickly as she arrives. A whirlwind of hair and a force of nature. Giving you both a small wave, mind laser focused on reading the goddamn room and shoving the boys towards a different screen.

"B-but we already got the tickets!"

"I wanted to see Rocky XX!"

"Why does Jake think seeing Rocky is romantic anyway?!"

Why?

To be honest, the Rocky franchise died off somewhere along V. Who knows how the hell these films are still being greenlit. Nevertheless, the newest one is a low stakes film where Jake doesn't care what happens apart from you cuddling up to him and some kisses if he's lucky.

It's calculated and planned and Jake mentally pats himself on the back for how things have turned out.

Except-

What he didn't expect was the score to be good, the script to be great, the choreography to be amazing, and the acting to be even better. Neither of you could take your eyes off the screen. You laughed and cried and gasped together. 

Thoughts of cuddling and kissing and even making out completely out the window as you're both on the edge of your seat for the entire two hours.

It was fantastic. Perhaps the best movie he has ever seen (and he could practice some of those moves too).

You're both still talking about it as he walks you home-

"When he came back as a zombie to fight that vampire?"

"And the lizard joins the fight to win the title?" Jake chuckles, at your enthusiasm more than anything else, "Yeah. I liked that."

But as your apartment appears on the horizon, he can't help but think that maybe this was a bit of a waste. That the day is over and as good as the film was, maybe he should have arranged something else, after all it’s been a while since both your schedules have aligned.  A date where you can actually talk and be in each other's company. Instead of being captivated by the screen, your attention could have been held by him.

Jake tries to shake off the doubts and recapture the lighter mood from seconds ago.

He's not entirely successful.

You realise something is amiss.

You peer over at your boyfriend. His sudden subduedness. The small line forming between his eyebrows that you hate so much, because it means he's unhappy about something. You pause mid step and he stops alongside you.

"Don’t overthink it. I had fun," you tell him. You always have fun with him. "Thank you."

Jake's smile returns when he sees the expectant look in your eyes. The way you stretch up towards him. press yourself into his space, and he leans down; meeting you halfway.

Your lips lightly press to his, eyes closing, eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks and his own falling shut. Strong arms encircle you, pulling you ever closer, deepening the contact.

There'll be a next time, your kiss reassures him.

You tastes like popcorn. Sugar and butter and salt. Sweet and savoury and perfect.

[firstkanaphans]

Safe House, Season 4: FK moments you might have missed (Day 5)

Before I dive into the FK-specific moments from this episode, I want to briefly address the fallout from Foei and White’s comments the night before. Their apology is still available on YouTube in its entirety, which is ironic considering they removed the actual incident, so now it just looks like they’re apologizing for nothing. You can read a full translation of the apology here.

I also paid extra close attention to both First and Khaotung’s interactions with Foei and White in the aftermath because I’ve seen some people say that Khao in particular acted annoyed by them, but in all honesty, I couldn’t tell a difference. Neither First nor Khaotung gave any indication that they were upset by what happened. This is not meant to excuse what Foei did or even to suggest that there wasn’t animosity lingering under the surface, but they kept it civil in the house and I don’t think it serves anyone well to insinuate that Khaotung was on some sort of revenge quest when he was actually super chill and professional. 

But now, hopefully, I am done talking about Foei and White forever.

First was in an exceptionally good mood this morning and was up almost as soon as the wake-up call went off. He tried to wake Khaotung to no avail.

He eventually gives up and goes to help Fourth wake the rest of the house instead. (Please check out this gif set of Fourth’s attempts to wake some of the younger boys because it’s one of my favorite things on this website.) And although we don't get to see Fourth try to wake Khaotung, he does come back into the room and complain to First, “P’Khaotung won’t wake up.” To which First responds, “He won't wake up? Fine. I’ll do it naa.” And then instead of actually trying to wake him up, he just crawls back into bed with him 😂

The morning challenge involved the contestants trying to catch a piece of toast in their mouths. First was down an arm, so Khaotung worked the toaster for him during several of his attempts. This also led to one of my all-time favorite Safe House moments:

The fact that Khao just takes it. Out of his bestie’s mouth. Without question. Insanity.

The afternoon session opens with Khaotung making coffee. First is teasing him for saying a bad word, which Khao swears he didn’t say. You can watch the video and read a full translation of that clip here.

I’d always assumed Khao was making the coffee for himself, but he put the cup in front of First’s place at the lunch table and then they both drank out of it. You know. Just bestie things.

After that, there was another pool challenge that First couldn’t participate in. He still did his best to have fun, though.

That night during dinner, they are given desserts with flowers in them. Khaotung and First both spend the entire meal trying to secretly stick them on each other.

(via)

After dinner, everyone plays “Never Have I Ever” while waiting for production to set up their next challenge. Whenever someone loses, they have to do push-ups. This was Khao’s attempt.

And the aftermath:

Later that same night is when the infamous pillow-sniffing happens. First and Khao are sitting on the couch together. Khao gets up and, without missing a beat, First reaches for the pillow he had been holding and sniffs it.

Fourth is immediately like “bro, you good?” and although we can’t actually hear them, I can only assume that First tries to justify his actions in some way because the next thing you know, Fourth is sniffing the pillow too. You can watch the full video here.

I know people say “there’s no heterosexual explanation for this” about things that do, in fact, have a heterosexual explanation, but this is gay AF. Like? First, honey. Stand up.

Almost a whole hour of the evening session is just the cast watching The Eclipse on an iPad. (Really, GMMTV? An iPad? There was no way for you to cast it onto an actual TV?) At one point, First gets up and smacks Khaotung with a pillow over something Aye did. You can watch it here. I tried to gif it, but it looks overly violent in gif form because First knocks over a picture frame and everyone freaks out.

And then finally, our two favorite besties get into another squabble during the evening interviews. Khaotung playfully pushes First and First says, “Everyone, please take note that I am not usually the one who teases him.” Then Khao pulls him off screen.

Sorry this got so long. They were extra gay today.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

would you have any small writing tips to share with others who are attempting to write their own stories?

Sure.

Disclaimer: This is not a full on tutorial on how to write. These are just tiny, tiny little grains of wisdom of things I realized here and there. Do not eat this advice like a full course meal. It isn't one. It's just a dusting of some spices, and I am salt bae-ing them over you, but they are not calorically relevant without a story.

1. Help your readers read your story.

AKA: If you want your readers to build a house, you better take them to a Home Depot and teach them how to use a screwdriver first.

You want your readers to read your story easily? You gotta make your story easy to read. That means learning how to make sentences easier to understand. That means breaking up walls of text into smaller bites. That means - yes - spelling words consistently and using accessible (not Correct, necessarily, but ACCESSIBLE) grammar!

You want your readers to understand your world? You gotta give your readers tools to understand it with. That means explaining new concepts! That means describing stuff a lot! That means using visual language if you don't have actual visuals!

Your readers will not read your mind to know what you MEANT to say. You have to say what you mean. You have to mean what you write. Learn to write clearly. Learn to help your readers.

2. Something that takes you a month to make will take your audience ten minutes to read.

You want to spend an hour drawing one comic panel? Great. You wanna spend an hour writing a single paragraph? Fantastic. You wanna use up a week perfecting a script? Amazing!

Your readers will still glance at that panel for a second before moving on. Your readers will still eat that paragraph in a bite. Your readers will skim that script. If you're lucky.

You cannot control how much your work is appreciated. But you CAN control how much of your time you sacrifice to make it.

Balance the scales.

3. You are not talented.

Neither am I. Nor are any of us.

Listen to me. Listen.

Talent is a beautiful, useful word. But it often lies to us. It suggests that we are born better than others.

This is not often accurate. What talent hides within itself is not pre-ordained inherent skill. It is not something you are birthed being. It is not a statistical difference of physicality.

Talent starts with passion.

Maybe you have passion for stories - so you beg your grandfather to read to you before you can recognize words, and you write a lot in every school assignment, and you pay attention to EVERY story you watch in school plays, and you observe all the characters you see in movies, and you CARE. So. Much. And this moves you to try to write, and then to try again, and then to try harder.

Talent does not exist, because no amount of 'you were made for running' can make you run. No amount of 'you were the son of great authors' can make you write.

But inherent curiosity can push you forward. Inherent curiosity can make you watch, and observe, even before you understand you are observing. Inherent curiosity for your personal interests makes you a fan of writing, of drawing, of world-building. It makes you research how to be a great author before you even know what research is. It auto-tunes you to what you know is good about these things, and it gives you the necessary tools to know what will work and what won't.

So when you think you are talented, understand that this is not something that was done to you in the womb. It was something you raised, and watered like a seed, before you even knew what you were growing.

Don't rely on talent. Understand that you got this far because you CARE about this thing. And don't forget to care. Because that's what has carried you this far, and it is the only thing that can carry you even farther.

also, cringe is dead.

[johnslittlespoon]

curtbuckbucky nightclub au .* :☆ﾟ. ☽

open for drabble/more pics! <3

alright, i've never done a proper 'intro' post for a fic/au i have in mind, but this one has been rotting in my brain for ages and i know there's no way i'm not gonna write something for it eventually so here goes, bear with me <3 made a lil edit (took me fucking hours to collect enough stock footage lmfao) to go along with it too >:)

a modern au where college student curt is a regular at a new–ish queer nightclub, showing up every friday night without fail to dance his heart out, his way of de–stressing at the end of every week and getting his pent up energy out. he's the prettiest little thing, dresses up so fun– some nights he throws on dresses or crop tops with skirts or short shorts when he's feeling it, other nights he goes for more of a relaxed baggy pants and flowy linen button up type of vibe– always with the same pair of scuffed up sneakers on for ease of dancing.

the bartenders and other regulars adore their bubbly little club bunny, always looking out for him, doting on him with free drinks and food. and even if some of them eye curt like he's dinner when he's out on the floor swaying his hips, eyes closed to fully lose himself in the music, the glitter on his eyelids and cheekbones catching the lights just right, curt's not there for any of that. he dances with people occasionally, he's confident and carefree and likes the attention and it makes him giggle when he catches newcomers staring, doesn't mind a wandering hand here and there, but he never goes home with anyone. the same routine, every friday, dancing until his dark waves are curling damp with sweat against his temples and his black eyeshadow is smudged and he leaves to make the walk back to the flat he shares with a few roomies.

enter john and gale, longterm boyfriends who sometimes like to go out clubbing and find someone pretty to bring home for a fun time, only an open relationship in that sense– they have no interest in actually dating other people, both adamant that it's no strings attached, too head over heels for each other to have eyes for anyone else anyway.

they decide to check out a club they haven't been to yet, usually sticking to the tried and true ones, but a couple of their friends recommend it, so they give it a go one friday night. they've barely sat down at the bar with their drinks when they see a boy who, john comments to gale, looks like the 'energizer bunny' (gets a snort out of curt when he tells him so in the future.) even once they're buzzed enough to head out onto the dance floor together, neither of them can take their eyes off of the bundle of energy, mesmerized.

they both know the other is equally enamoured with the boy, drinking up all the glitter and bouncy curls and blissed out smiles, already knowing they just have to have him– the prettiest thing they've ever seen. curt's confused when they approach him, because he's noticed them too, has been admiring from afar, but he's also noticed their hands and lips all over each other, dancing much too close and comfortably to not be a couple. but john purrs out "we just like to have a little fun every now and then sweetheart, don't you?"

and no, not really, he doesn't. usually a night of exhausting himself dancing is his idea of fun, not ever looking for anything else, not finding most guys worth his time. but john and gale sweet talk him just right, spend time actually getting to know him when he agrees to let them buy him a drink at the bar, and fuck, they're both the hottest things he's seen walk into the club in a long time, and they're giving him all their attention? he decides that maybe he'll be brave and flirt back. despite his confidence and lack of caring what other people think about him, he's so shy and easily flustered when someone he's actually into makes the moves on him, doesn't even know what to do with himself when he realizes he's blushing at their compliments and the combination of their heavy gazes on him.

obviously they all get each other worked up as the night goes on, and curt goes home with them and gets his world rocked, spoiled and pillow princess–ed and showered in praise, not at all what he expects hook–ups to be like after having only been with people he's been dating. he expects to walk back home after since they all live in the same vicinity of downtown, tries to ignore his wobbly legs when he finally crawls out of bed, gets dragged back down by gale for one last messy breathless makeout while john gets him an uber before curt can protest or offer to pay.

normally john and gale don't get the numbers of their one night stands, but they want to make sure he gets home safe, and they can both gauge how the other is feeling and they know they'll want to see him again if they're lucky enough for curt to say yes, so john puts his number into curt's phone and tells him "text when you're home safe, yeah? or, y'know, text whenever you want." and curt isn't sure if this is john saying they both want to see him again, because he's dense and shy and they made it clear beforehand that they're in a closed relationship, but next friday he texts to let them know he'll be at the club again, and john and gale tell him they'll be there, the three of them going home together for a second time that night, and they fall into a routine from then on.

curt gets giddy every friday, dolling himself up extra pretty for the two men, flushed at their attention every time and so thrilled to dress up for someone other than himself for once. he can already feel himself going all heart–eyes for them after the second or third time they hook up, but he knows where he stands, and he's having fun experimenting for the first time and having two experienced, sweet guys show him a good time every week, so he doesn't want to jeopardize that by getting his feelings involved.

little does he know that john and gale are falling head over heels too for this sweet energetic boy, loving how much he spices up their lives, both in the bedroom and out, realizing their flat feels so quiet now on the nights where they don't take curt home with them. so that leads to some serious conversations to see if they're on the same page about getting to know curt better, both of them learning how to navigate this new territory because neither of them expected to want to bring someone else into their world like this. they agree they'd like to take curt out on a cute date, during the daytime for once, to properly test the waters and see how curt feels– of course he slots into their lives perfectly, as if he's been there all along. <3

but along the way: lots of slow burn, miscommunication, endless filthy smut, curt trying to balance college and work and friends with his newfound feelings for john and gale, john and gale getting dragged to raves and festivals by their always adventurous bf, city night–life juxtaposed by early morning domesticity, etc etc.

this has been floating around in my head for a couple weeks since i got this vision of 2012–stalker–era barry with eyeshadow and glitter stuck in my brain and thus a whole universe/plot spawned from it. honestly would mostly be pwp, but would love to write a proper fic for it anyway eventually, each chapter littered with filth, obviously LOL. i have so many thoughts and so many little scenarios planned out in my head already... these three have me in a chokehold.

i need to make proper intro/drabble posts like these for my other aus too aghhh it just takes so longggg because i get carried away with the drabble and then i have to find the perfect clips for edits and the perfect pics to tie it all together and suddenly i've spent half a day on one post but. someday <3 leaving!bikeriders au next surely! thx for reading hope u enjoy this version of the boys and hopefully i'll have time to write it soon!

all posts about this au will be under #curtbuckbucky nightclub au :-)

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

What are your thoughts on Poppy’s and Catnap’s sibling dynamics and the shenanigans they get up to? Do they give their dad a headache?

Across all universes where Poppy and Catnap/Theo are on good terms and refer to each other as brother and sister, they give their parent(s) the WORST of headaches.

In normal Angel saves everyone/Poppy Worldwide AU, they tease and annoy each other a lot (affectionate), as all siblings do. Poppy is always stealing Catnap's eyeliner. He's always stealing her nail polish. Poppy is the one who suggests they do something stupid, but in a way that makes it sound like the rational thing to do. "Theo", she calls him. "We should bake a four tier chocolate cake! There isn't anything to celebrate just yet, but we should learn how to do so anyways".

"A... Four tier chocolate cake? With your baking skills?"

"Have you stopped to think that dad and mom would need a four tier cake for their future wedding? They'll need us!"

And then Catnap, on all his glory, accepts the idea, except they should make just two tiers so they won't waste food if things go wrong. They spend HOURS in the kitchen, which would be a big deal if it wasn't for the fact that it was 2 AM. Anyways, they burnt the cake, half of it was undercooked, and it was way too sugary, but the fact that they didn't burn the whole kitchen down made it clear to them that they COULD do it. In theory. In practice Picky, Long Legs and Dogday banned them from the kitchen, and Angel was just horrified that these two were left unsupervised in the kitchen.

Poppy was also sent flying more than once from her INSISTING that Theo should run as fast as possible, with her using him as a ride around the farm. Did she learn from that? No. Did Theo learn from that? Also no.

Catnap, most of the time, knows when one of Poppy's ideas is just stupid. He does so anyways because he wants to see the results, because after 10 years working as a cult leader he really, really wanted to act more reckless without it hurting the cult. Poppy likes the idea of offering Catnap guidance, being older for far longer, but she doesn't have the sharpest self-preservation instincts, while Catnap is always thinking about consequences and what is best for everyone. "You should relax more" / "I'm trying, but I can't" is a good description for their dynamic.

Catnap doesn't like asking Poppy for advice. The only ones he doesn't mind are Dogday, Angel and the Prototype. Poppy feels like having to ask your sibling to drive you somewhere, and that sibling can and WILL tease you for it. Meanwhile, Poppy really, really wants to connect more with Theo, mostly as a way of coping with the fact that she wasn't there to watch him grow up, and believed him to be a monster for most of the past 10 years of her life. She doesn't like to be reminded that their first few months post-rescue were messy and of constant side eyes and bickering, and neither does Theo.

Catnap will refuse to admit it, but he looks up to Poppy a bit. She's content with her body and somehow is able to cope in mostly healthy ways. She was trapped for 10 years in a glass case and is somehow not only a bit of a social butterfly, but someone whose company is good to have.

They both really care for each other, despite the strange first year, and give their parents SO MANY headaches. In Great Escape AU, it's Poppy and Catnap sharing the same braincell and coming up with increasingly over-the-top and stupid plans to make it so everyone is able to escape PlayCo. They give a headache to the Prototype with how reckless they are when together, and when Angel comes into the picture what was bad somehow gets WORSE.

Anyways tldr they're stupid when together.

[imawkwardlysoc]

"let's get married in vegas"

Song- Stupid In Love by MAX ft. Huh Yun-jin

Pairing- Javy Machado x afab! reader

Warning(s)- none

Wordcount- 1,671

Summary- What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?

Having a big family and having your partner come from a big family is hectic. Especially when you recently got engaged. That was Y/N and Javy was dealing right now. Their parents had a list of friends and family guests that they hadn’t talked to in years. Their lists were pretty simple to map out since they knew who they wanted to invite—just close friends and family including Javy’s squadron. The thought of having a small intimate wedding flew out of the window when their parents interjected with their lists of people they wanted to invite. There were debates if they should have their wedding in Texas where Javy was born and raised or Y/N’s home state or San Deigo.

“Woah, what happened?” Javy asked as he walked into their house to see Y/N lying on their floor with tears in her eyes.

Placing his bag down on the floor and joining her, Javy wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer.

“What’s going on?” Javy placed a kiss on top of her head.

“I love our mothers but they are causing me a headache,” Y/N replied. “The slight guilt trip my mother has been giving me has been hell.”

“I’m sorry,” Javy pulled her closer as an idea popped into his head.

“I know that face,” Y/N saw the look on her fiance’s face. “I see the hamster running in there.”

“Let’s elope,” Javy suggested. “Southwest easily has flights every hour to go to Vegas. We can get married there without a waiting period and spend the weekend there on a mini honeymoon.”

“You know there’s no waiting period here also right?” Y/N raised her eyebrow.

“I know but I’m so stupid and crazy in love with you that I’ll be fine with an Elvis impersonator officiating our wedding,” Javy chuckled. “So, what do you think?”

“No to the Elvis impersonator but I’m fine going to Vegas with just the two of us and coming back as a married couple,” Y/N placed a kiss on his lips.

“Alright, this settles it,” Javy pulled his partner up from the floor and wrapped his arms around her waist. “We’re eloping to Vegas and getting married.”

Smiling, she kissed Javy’s lips before heading to the kitchen to get dinner started.

After planning for three weeks and getting their outfits, the couple landed in Vegas and got their room at Circa. Thankfully, the Daggers didn’t question them when they were taking a weekend trip out of San Diego. The day they landed and got to their room, they decided to get some dinner before relaxing for the evening. They also found a chapel where they wanted to get married. 

“Morning,” Javy groveled before placing a kiss on Y/N’s neck.

“Morning,” Y/N turned to face him. “We’re getting married today.”

“We are,” the aviator smiled and kissed her.

Hearing a knock on the door, the two looked at each other to see if they ordered room service. After finding out neither of them did, Javy got out of bed to look through the peephole to see who it was.

“A good morning to you two,” Jake walked into their room.

“What are you doing here?” Y/N questioned. “It’s not like we don’t want you here.”

“Well, I can’t let two of my closest friends get married alone,” Jake explained. “Also it would be awkward if I told your parents and the rest of the squad that we need to leave.”

“How did you even know we were here?” Javy asked.

“You forgot to unlink it from the shared calendar,” Jake patted his shoulder.

“Oh,” Javy chuckled.

“Well, we are glad that all of you are here,” Y/N hugged Jake. “It did feel weird not having you guys here.”

“Well, we’re getting brunch soon so you two better get ready,” Jake told them.

Saying goodbye to him, the couple changed out of their pajamas into their clothes before leaving their hotel room. Walking through the restaurant, they soon met their parents and the Daggers giving them hugs. Before sitting down, their mothers asked if they could talk so they went to the side to have the conversation.

“Look, we are so sorry for taking this wedding over,” Y/N’s mother apologized.

“We’re just excited that our children are getting married,” Javy’s mom added.

“We get it,” the couple told them. “We’re still going to have a big ceremony don’t worry.”

“Just don’t take it over,” Javy chuckled.

“Don’t worry, we won’t,” their mothers chuckled.

Hugging each other, the four returned to the restaurant and sat down. As everyone ordered food and drinks, everyone was asking Y/N and Javy if they were excited which they were. Once everyone was filled up with food and drinks, Y/N and Coyote were separated by their respective parties so they could get ready.

The girls got their hair done before returning to the hotel room to prepare for the ceremony. The guys got a drink together before returning to the hotel and into the room Rooster and Hangman shared. Both rooms had music playing as everyone got ready.

“So, how are you feeling?” Phoenix asked.

“Nervous,” Y/N chuckled. “I feel ready though.”

“Come on, let’s go,” Callie, Javy’s sister, linked arms with her sister-in-law.

Leaving the room, all the women left the hotel to the chapel where Javy and Y/N planned on getting married. From a far distance, most of the guys could see Y/N in the far distance. Pulling Javy back from the group, Jake wrapped his arm around his best friend’s shoulders as they looked at the scene before them.

“Ready for this?” Jake looked at Javy.

“To marry the love of my life and create a family? Yes,” Javy nodded which left a grin on Jake’s face. “Thank you by the way.”

“It’s no problem,” the Texan patted Javy’s shoulder. “That’s what a best man is for. I call dibs for being the godfather of your first child.”

“We don’t even trust you with plant sitting, I’m not sure how we can trust you with our firstborn,” Javy chuckled and walked away.

“Hey! It was one time!” Jake threw his hands up in the air.

Walking closer to the group, Javy immediately felt all of the oxygen in his body leave as he saw Y/N.

“Wow,” Javy smiled. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” Y/N blushed. “Ready for this?”

“Hell yeah,” Javy replied. “Come on, let’s go.”

Linking each other’s arms, they entered the chapel and stood under the arch as their friends and family sat in the pews. The officiant started their speech before Y/N and Javy spoke their vows to each other. Let’s just say, there was no dry eye in the crowd. 

“With the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I may pronounce you as Mr. and Mrs. Machado!” The officiant announced. “You may now kiss-”

Javy pulled Y/N closer to him and dipped her while kissing her. In the background, muffled cheers and screams from their friends and family filled the room. Bring Y/N back up from the dip, the now-married couple turned to see their friends and family cheering for them. With the ceremony all done, they took pictures with their friends and family before the couple had to leave for an appointment they had. Their families and Javy’s squadron went to do their own thing together before meeting up at the restaurant where Maverick had booked a reservation to have the reception.

Walking out of the tattoo parlor, Javy and Y/N admired the matching tattoos they got. Javy has an F/A F-18 Super Hornet on his wrist with a dotted line leaning to the outline of California with a heart over San Diego on Y/N’s wrist. The tattoos were pretty small so there wouldn’t be any hassle covering them up if they needed to. Getting into the car, Javy texted his squadron while Y/N texted their families saying they were on their way to the restaurant.

“Mr. and Mrs. Machado have entered the building!” Jake announced as Y/N and Javy entered the private room.

“Thank you all,” Y/N thanked them.

“Honestly, we’re glad all of you are here,” Javy added.

“To Mr. and Mrs. Machado,” Maverick raised his drink as others followed.

Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses before sitting down in their seats. Everyone ordered their meals before getting into conversations with each other. As the food came, speeches were given by their parents and close friends. Tears of laughter ran down the couple’s faces as Jake told an embarrassing story about Javy during the academy. Let’s just say it involves them and some other classmates camping and how Javy got his callsign. There were also some emotional tears from hearing their parent’s speeches.

Seeing the two-tiered cake being placed in front of them, Javy and Y/N held the knife together and cut the cake. Feeding each other a piece without smearing each other’s faces, they served everyone a slice of cake before finishing theirs. They looked around the room and admired the view in front of them. All of their friends and family were enjoying themselves and the conversations were flowing.

Soon dinner ended, and everyone walked out of the restaurant with their stomachs filled with food and drinks.

“Now one last congratulations to the now-married couple.” Everyone clapped and cheered.

“You two have a nice night now,” Bob hugged them.

“Not too much fun,” Jake nudged Javy.

Rolling their eyes, they said goodbye to everyone before heading back to the hotel. Walking into their room, they collapsed in their bed after the exhausting day they had.

“We’re married,” Y/N chuckled.

“We’re married,” Javy chuckled as they looked at the rings on their fingers. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now why don’t we,” Y/N leaned closer to his ear and whispered the rest in his ear.

“Yes ma’am.”

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

It can't come soon enough (USWNT x ADHD reader)

Part one, two, three

Part 4 of the ADHD reader series! I love this series, but there will probably only be one more part after this, of course with the wedding!

Warnings: Brief mention of harassment and violence, implications of smut

Words: 6.7K

We didn't want a long engagement, we just wanted to get married as soon as possible. So after weeks of talking about it, it was time to finalize the date and send out the invitations. It wasn't the best brain day, but it wasn't the worst I had had recently. Ally chucked me my bouncy ball as I sat on the end of the bed, hitting it against the wall. We were next to some of the team which I knew were out so I didn't feel as bad about it.

"Okay so before we go find the invitations, we need a date because I know as soon as we start, I will lose your attention."

"Tomorrow."

Ally laughed, "We need to give people enough time to plan."

"Okay, next week." Ally gave me a look, her look that tells me that's enough and to be serious. "In all seriousness, probably 2-3 months right? Like I know longer is preferable and probably off season, but I cannot wait that long."

"Neither can I, end of April, early may? The weather is nice, hopefully most people will be able to make it."

We left the conversation there for the time being, deciding to talk to Ali and Ash later about the date and if it even suited them. Ally went to have a shower while I lay on the bed, overthinking the wedding, if people would actually want to come, if we were being stupid expecting people to be able to drop everything and come to a wedding in 3 months. Ally straddled my waist, lacing her fingers with mine, "I can tell when you're over thinking something, talk to me."

I sighed, pulling her so she was lying next to me instead, "Do you think people will actually come or be able to come? I know it's all last minute, 3 months isn't a lot of time for people to plan especially with it be-"

Ally ran her fingers along my jaw, pecking my lips to cut me off, "Look, I know it's last minute and there is a high chance that some people won't be able to make it. In saying that, your team loves you so much Y/n, they will do everything to be able to make it. We can always push it out until early next year. Give them more time to plan."

"I know it seems ridiculous, how fast we're moving. Most people probably think there's not much difference between being engaged and actually being married, but I just want to marry you Al, as soon as I can. I know it's silly, it's just this is something I never thought would happen, even for a while after I met you. I want to wake up next to you every morning, calling you my wife. That can't happen soon enough for me. I just can't imagine getting married without all the team there, my family there."

"It's not silly Y/n/n, it will never be silly. There is nothing I want more then to marry you as soon as possible. I don't want to get married without them either. I love your team, over the past months they have become my family too. Maybe there's a work around though. Why don't we talk to the team before we finalize anything, see if they would be able to make it at short notice. If they can, we get married as plan, if they can't then we can push it out until early next year, when the weather starts getting warm again. If that happens then maybe we can have that court house wedding we joked about, then celebrate a little later than planned."

"How did I get so lucky with you? This is why I love you, you understand me like no one ever did or ever will. We can talk to the team tonight. Would it be ridiculous to have a wedding a year after we actually get married?"

"We can do whatever we want. Should we go to the mall? Find some invitations or stuff to make them?"

I jumped up onto my knees, bouncing next to Ally on the bed, suddenly very excited. I loved being creative and making things. If it interested me, I could spend hours hyper fixated on creating it. "We can make them?!?"

Ally laughed before pulling me off the bed, "Yes we can make them, but you have to let me help."

"That I can do."

---

Ally wrapped herself up under my arm as soon as we got to the mall. Most people would just think it was her being cute, but in reality it was to stop me from running off. It was a bad habit when I got excited and Ally had figured out ways to keep me with her. I didn't mind seeing as I got to cuddle with her, "So do you have any ideas?"

"I was looking a while ago and there were ones that looks like an envelope, but it opens up into two or three pieces. The main one with the important information and the other with the RSVP and stuff like that. Sometimes they have a photo."

"Do you have a photo of them?" I quickly searched google, showing them to Ally. She looked at them for a second before nodding, "I like those. They look easy to make, we could do a two piece, but put a picture at the top of the main information one."

"Then we can close it with a ribbon or similar. Let's go!"

She pulled me back by my hand, wrapping her arm back around my waist, "Hold up, let's go get the photos printed first, they'll take a while."

We chose a picture of Ally on my back, looking down at me while I looked up at her, huge grins on our faces. It was one of my favourite pictures. After they were ordered, we spent the next hour finding all the stuff we might need. Given the number of pictures we were getting printed, they wouldn't be ready for another hour or so. We decided to get lunch while we waited. It was nice, spending time with just Ally. I loved the team, I loved that they loved Ally and wanted to hang out with her, but it didn't always leave us much time for just the two of us.

Once we got back to the hotel, I was super excited to start on the invitations so we snuck in avoiding the team for the time being. We moved the desk into the middle of the room, setting up the stuff we needed first. Ally was better at calligraphy and nice writing than me so she was going to do that while I made the envelope things. We stuck the photos on first and the rainbow striped border on each side of the card stock. That way Ally knew where to write. The invitations were just going to be simple black outside, white inside with a silver ribbon around it. Nice and simple, just like us.

"What do I do about the date?"

"Just leave a space until we have a chance to talk to the team tonight. Same with the RSVP."

Ally lent over the table kissing me, "Okay. Let's take a break. It's been two hours of leaning over this desk, it's not good for our backs."

"You can." Kisses were placed along my jaw and down my neck as hands slipped under my shirt and along the waist band of my shorts, "B-baby-"

I cut myself off when her hand slipped into my shorts, trailing along my thigh, before being pulled away, "Okay, you can keep doing this and I'll take care of myself."

I swung around, pushing her back onto the bed, Ally just smirked as I hovered over her. She knew exactly how to get me to do what she wanted, "Like hell you will."

---

Ally was sitting on my lap, giggling uncontrollably as I kissed along the back of her neck. It was the only spot she was ticklish so I took advantage of that. A few of the girls walked in to the meal room, somewhat disgusted looks crossing their faces, "Do you guys ever keep your lips to yourselves?"

"Sometimes when we sleep," I replied as Ally finally pushed me away, "Otherwise why would I want to when my fiancé is this attractive?"

They just rolled their eyes before going to claim their seats. Once everyone had come down for dinner, I got their attention. I was nervous for this conversation, there wasn't actually a reason to be, I knew they would come to the wedding. I was just overthinking. Ally laced her fingers with mine, squeezing gently. "Hey ladies, can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course, what's up kid?" Ali answered. Her warm smile bringing some comfort.

"So Ally and I were talking about our wedding, trying to figure out a date. Now we want to get married as soon as possible and were thinking the 6th May since there's no games planned, but we know that's not a lot of time to plan especially for those with kids. We don't want to get married without you guys there, so we were wondering realistically if you guys would actually be able to make it or if we push it out to next year."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world Y/n. If you choose to have your wedding this year then we'll be there," Christen answered, the rest of the girls agreeing quickly.

"We can't wait to see you get married."

"Okay awesome, you'll get the invitations by end of camp."

There was excited chatter about the wedding throughout dinner. They were speculating about the theme, what our clothes would look like, dress code, our vows and so much more. We didn't comment because quite frankly, we hadn't gotten that far. We knew the date, cake flavour, food and dress code. We hadn't thought about music, decorations, times or her dress and my suit. The cake would be red velvet since it was both of our favourite, food would be a potluck with a BBQ and they could wear whatever they wanted. It felt more intimate and casual that way. I know Ally had been looking at other ideas, but I could only properly focus on one thing at a time and actually be helpful so she hadn't brought anything up yet besides the invitations.

After dinner I pulled Ali aside as everyone was starting to leave the meal room, "What's up kid?"

"So, as you know my parent's aren't going to be at the wedding. Ally has her dad walking her down the isle and I didn't realise until we were talking about it that I actually want to be walked down the isle too. So um, will you walk me down the isle?" We had agreed not to do bridesmaids. There were too many people that I was close to and I didn't want to have to choose between them. Ally had been subject to my anxious rant about it and had suggested not to do them. Ali was probably the person I looked up to most, who I knew always had my back no matter what. There was no one else more suited to walk me down the isle than her.

Ali hugged me tightly, kissing my temple, "Of course I will, I'd be honored. Let us know when you think about decorations and we can help you out. Are you guys coming to the movie night?"

"Thank you Ali. We're going to skip it tonight and go work on the invitations instead."

"I can't wait to see what they look like. Have fun and don't stay up too late, we have training tomorrow."

---

I lent against the door, watching as Ally braided her hair. She was wearing a black skirt stopping just above her knee, with a white sleeveless blouse. It wasn't often that Ally wore skirts outside of work, but when she did, my god she looked stunning. I loved Ally in anything she wore, it's just when I saw her in things that she didn't normally wear, it drove me crazy. As she finished her braid, I wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing just below her ear.

"You look stunning baby. Where are you going, love?"

She turned, looping her arms around my neck, "I'm going to look at dresses with a few of the girls, is that okay?"

"You never ever have to ask to do things Al, you know that. Do I get to see your dress before the wedding?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I know we don't want traditional, but that's a part I kind of like."

"If that's what you want to do, then I'm okay with that. Just because we don't want full traditional, doesn't mean we can't have some aspects of it even if the suspense will kill me. Can I at least know which colour you choose so I can find a suit that matches? Because if I've chosen a bright blue suit and you've chosen an orange dress, those photo's won't be flattering."

Ally giggled before kissing me slowly, "I love you, you're amazing. I will definitely not be choosing an orange dress, but yes I'll tell you what colour it is. Have you thought about your suit yet?"

I shrugged, trying to act like I hadn't already spent hours looking at different suits, "I have some ideas. They're pretty basic, but I'm kinda obsessed with some of them. I'm heading out with Megan and Ash a bit later to try some on."

"Hmm you're going to look incredible. Do I get to see it?"

"I um I think I want to surprise you on the day as well. Is-is that okay?"

Ally played with the baby hairs at the bottom of my neck, making my knees go weak. It always did, "Of course it's okay hun."

I ran my fingers down her back, then dipping under her skirt and along the side of her thighs, "Do you have to go now? Because you look amazing."

Ally jumped up, wrapping her legs around my waist and connecting our lips in a passionate kiss, "You're a bad influence Y/n Y/l/n, we have half an hour. If you mess up my hair, you're in trouble."

"I thought we were meeting like 15 minutes ago?" Kristie questioned as we approached, eyeing the likely forming bruise on my neck.

---

Ally's POV

My face heated up and I knew I was turning red. Unsuccessfully, I tried to hide it by checking my phone, "Sorry, I lost track of time."

"I gathered. Y/n go away, Ally come on."

"Yes ma'am," Y/n jokingly saluted before leaving a lingering kiss against my lips. I fought the urge to pull her back in. I had always been drawn to her, wanted to be close to her, addicted to everything her, but since she proposed it was like that connection got stronger. Maybe it was the excitement of it all. I definitely wasn't complaining though, there was nothing wrong with having a strong connection with the person you were going to marry.

"Have fun. I might be out when you get back. Please send me photos of the dresses you aren't picking because I know you'll look incredible. I love you."

"I love you, I expect photos of those suits in return."

I was kind of nervous spending the afternoon with Y/ns teammates. Sure, I had spent time a lot of time with them, but Y/n was always there. This was new territory, I was nervous and excited at the same time. I was also a bit nervous about finding a dress. I wasn't the most girly girl, sure I wore dresses and skirts for work and occasionally outside of work, but they were simple. Nothing like what I was looking for in regards to a wedding dress. To be honest I wasn't even sure what I was looking for.

"Hey, you okay?" Ali asked falling back into step with me.

"No, I feel like a fish out of water. I own maybe three dresses and skirts. This is just a lot, I don't even know where to start."

Ali wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "Let's start with a simple question, are you sure you want to wear a dress?"

"That I'm sure of, but I don't think I want a traditional wedding dress. That's not me."

"Alright, why don't we just go try on some dresses and see if anything feels right. We have time to just explore different styles and colours."

We found a shop that had dresses for pretty much everything you could imagine. I didn't even know a shop like this existed. It was overwhelming, but the girls walked around with me as I just picked a few dresses that caught my eye. There were a few traditional wedding dresses in the mix, I knew I didn't really want one, I also didn't want to just discard the idea completely. You never know, I might end up falling in love with traditional.

It didn't happen. Every traditional dress I tried on, I absolutely hated. They didn't look or fit how I wanted to. There were a few dresses so far that I liked quite a bit, but didn't jump out as the one. A few hours had passed so far, I had tried on what felt like hundreds of dresses, keeping my promise and sending photos to Y/n. Her replies had started out innocent, telling me how amazing I looked, but they were now definitely moving towards R-18. I had fully expected it, Y/n had always made a point of telling or showing how attractive she found me. It was one of the many things I loved about her. Even after trying on all the dresses, none of them felt right. I knew it might take more than one day to find the right dress, but I was impatient. I wanted to find the dress now. 

We had gone for lunch and when we came back, I froze in front of a dress at the back of the shop. As soon as I saw the dress I knew it was the one. It was an ink blue, A-line scoop asymmetrical, satin dress with black lace covering the torso and lining the bottom of the dress. It was simple yet elegant. I stood in front of the mirror, admiring the way the dress looked. There were some adjustments that needed to be made so it would fit perfectly. For that reason I was glad camp was in our city, it meant there was no rush to get them done and I wouldn't have to try take the dress on a plane.

"I love it. This is the one."

"It's perfect Ally. You look absolutely stunning."

After sending Y/n a picture of the colour and paying for the dress, the person at shop started figuring out what needed to be altered. As that was happening, Kristie spoke up, "So how did you and Y/n meet? She never told us that story."

"It's nothing exciting, we met at the park, I was studying, she was running around with a ball and well kicked it at me. We connected pretty much straight away, hanging out, she would help me with my study and I would help her with her shots. It was obvious from the start that there was something more than friends between us, but she was so invested in her career that it took six odd months for her to agree to go out with me. She's been stuck with me ever since, not that she seems to mind too much."

The girls nodded, before Lindsey asked another question. I guess this was their chance for a little interrogation. They were protective so I wasn't that surprised, "Did you ever struggle with her ADHD?"

"No, it's part of who she is. Y/n wouldn't be y/n without it. It took a bit to learn about it, how it effected her and how to help. It was worth it though. It helped us grow closer, connect on a deeper level. I wouldn't change anything about the process or her. The only struggle was how she saw herself because of it. It hurts seeing her think she's a burden, knowing what her parents did to her, because she is the most amazing person I know. She's come a long way since I met her, I'm so proud of her for it. You guys should know that you're a big part of it, just accepting her for who she is, doing your best to help and try to understand what she's going through. You are the family she never had."

Ali smiled widely at the last part. I knew they had grown super close since they met and it probably meant a lot knowing Y/n loved them like family, "We love her so much. I know she has been through a lot, but she is still such a loving and kind person. You really love her don't you?"

A smile made it's way onto my face just at the thought of her. When Y/n and I first met, I knew I was screwed, but I never expected to fall as hard or fast as I did. There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank everything out there that I get to be the person she loves, that I get to spend the rest of my life with her by my side, "More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone, she means the world to me."

Ali eyed me for a second, making my nerves start to rise. It was a look I couldn't quite decipher. I knew Ali and Y/n were close, maybe she didn't actually like me as much as she said. "We never got to give you this speech when you two first started dating, but Y/n means the world to us, we love her as if she was blood. I swear if you ever hurt her, intentionally or not, we will make your life a living hell."

"I won't. She's my bestfriend, my person and I get to spend the rest of my life with her. Y/n has been through a lot, it's not easy for her to trust people. So the fact she trusts me to help her, that she trusts me with everything, it's special, it means the world to me. I wouldn't give that up for anything in this world."

"You are officially the best fiancé in the world."

The things I did for Y/n weren't for points or anything. She was the person I loved most in this world, I would do anything to make sure she was okay, that she knew how loved she was, "No I'm not, I'm just a girl who loves her fiancé."

---

Y/n's POV

It was safe to say I was overwhelmed and overthinking everything. There were more suit types and combinations than I expected, I was struggling to keep my mind in check. Megan and Ash were doing a good job at keeping me on track, picking out different suits for me to try on. I had to fight myself to not call Ally or ask her to come help. I loved Ally, I wanted her around, but this was something I wanted to do by myself. We had been messaging back and forth throughout the day, mostly sending photos to each other. Ally had kept her replies pretty neutral, mostly about how she couldn't wait to marry me or how the suit would look better on the floor. Ally knew that if she commented about one more than another, that I would start to overthink my decision, thinking she didn't like it.

"It's safe, it's nice, but I want to try that one."

I would normally go for black or dark blue clothing, it was safe. This suit however was a dark maroon 3 piece suit, black shirt and tie. It wasn't what I was used to, but I loved the way it looked. "Will this even match?"

"You're going to have to tell us what you're matching with."

I pulled up the photo Ally had sent me of the colour of her dress, "Here, she sent me a photo of the colour."

"I think it'll be perfect. Just like Ally said, don't get too caught up in if they match or not. Wear what you feel comfortable in. If you like it then get it."

It was probably five minutes of looking in the mirror at different angles, spinning around and posing different ways before I decided I absolutely loved it, "This is the one."

Ash snapped a quick photo before wrapping me in a one armed hug before a smirk appeared, "You look amazing Y/n/n. I know she won't see it, but you've been practically teasing each other all day, we'll be sure to leave you and Ally alone tonight."

There weren't many times that I felt truly confident with how I looked, I had always had some form of self confidence issues. They weren't always strong, but they were there. No one knew about them besides Ally, I had always been good at putting on fake confidence. This was probably one of the first times in ages that I felt truly attractive, "I do don't I?"

---

Ally cuddled further into me with a groan as her alarm went off. I chuckled, holding her close as I fought off sleep. We had a couple of days off, but unfortunately Ally still had work. "You gotta get up baby."

"Five more minutes," Ally mumbled, almost certainly falling asleep again. I knew she had another alarm set for 10 minutes, she always did. So I kissed her forehead and started falling asleep again. When her next alarm went off, she slowly sat up, but I pulled her back down. 

"Kisses." Ally laughed, lips connecting with mine. It was sleepy and slow, but it made my heart melt. They were some of my favourite kisses from Ally. "Oh hey, how do you feel about going out tonight? Some of the girls want to celebrate us getting married."

"Involving alcohol I assume?"

"Considering Kelly and Emily suggested it, I would say so. We don't have to if you're not up for it."

"I can handle a night of drinking in cerebration of getting to marry you. Now you go back to sleep, my first meeting isn't for a few hours so I won't wake you up. I love you."

I cuddled further into the blankets, already missing her warmth, "I love you."

When I woke up a couple of hours later, Ally was slumped over her computer, typing away. I watched her work, taking in the way her hair fell over her shoulder, the way she bit her lip in concentration and her wearing my sweat pants and hoodie. She would only change into something more work appropriate for meetings, but I loved seeing her in my clothes so I never complained, even though they were my favourite sweatpants. "Stop staring at me."

"You look adorable, I can't help it. Straighten up though, you're going to hurt your back."

"I can't straighten up, I'm marrying you." Ally retorted, but sat up straighter anyway.

"Come take a break." She went to protest, however stood up and made her way over to me instead. I opened my arms, kissing her softly as she straddled my waist. I could never control myself very well when she sat like that and she knew that, "You know this is a dangerous position."

Ally smiled innocently while her hip ground down slightly. She knew exactly what she was doing, "I know, but it's been a stressful morning and I could use some quick stress relief before a run of no doubt stressful meetings."

This wasn't an unusual occurrence. Ally had a high sex drive, she always had. Even though it was definitely higher than mine, I almost never turned down the opportunity to make her feel good even if I wasn't in the mood for anything in return which was quite often. So without another word I slipped the hoodie off, starting to work on her chest as my hand slipped into her sweatpants. 

15 minutes and a successfully destressed Ally later, she was cuddled against my side. I knew we only had a couple of minutes before she had to go back to work and I would get ready to hangout with the girls and leave Ally to work, "You are so beautiful Ally."

"You know I'm already marrying you right? You don't need to keep flattering me."

"Good thing I'm not just flattering you then. I mean everything I say, every compliment, everything. You deserve to know so I'm going to tell you."

---

It didn't take long for me to get ready, I had just gone with jeans, short sleeve off-white button down and black leather jacket. Ally on the other hand was taking a bit longer so I was sitting on the bed, watching her sitting on the ground in a bra and underwear while curling her hair. Then she moved onto make up. 

We didn't go out to clubs very often so when we did, Ally liked to go all out with everything. It was her chance to dress up for once in a way that wasn't appropriate for work. I loved it because well normally her outfit was pretty revealing and she looked incredibly sexy. It was cold though so Ally's outfit was a little less revealing then normal, but still sexy. Ally had chosen a pair of tight jeans that showed off her curves in all the right places and a black blouse with the first couple of buttons undone. I never got insecure or jealous when she dressed up like that. She was dressing up because she wanted to, because she felt confident, not because she wanted to impress anyone. Well except me anyway as she had drunkenly admitted one night.

"How am I expected to keep my hands to myself when you look like this?"

Ally smirked, arms wrapping around my shoulders, lips trailing along my jaw until they stopped at my ear, "You're not. This is all for you baby."

Before anything else could happen, there was a loud knock on the door, "You guys have 2 minutes before we break in so don't even think about starting anything."

Ally groaned, pulling away with a pout, "You are not allowed to kiss or touch me until we get back unless you are going to fuck me in the bathroom."

I smirked, fingers dipping down into her cleavage before pulling away, "That can be arranged. Now let's go before they actually break in."

The team had found a cute, medium sized club that was busy, but not overly busy. We found a couple of tables, pushing them together as Ashlyn, Megan and Emily came back with drinks for everyone. 

"To Y/n and Ally, the cutest and grossest couple we know. We can't wait to see you get married."

Everyone raised their glasses, cheering as they did then gagging as my lips connected with Ally's. At this point in knowing us, they shouldn't even be remotely surprised by it anymore. It's pretty much known that I will kiss Ally any chance I got. As the drinks flowed, everyone started breaking off either dancing or attempting to have conversations. Ally dragged me over to the bar, ordering shots for us then dragging me to the dance floor. Remembering her statement about not touching her, I had kept my distance from her throughout the night, only allowing a few kisses. I knew she didn't mean it, but I wanted to see how long it would take her to break. She lasted maybe three minutes before pulling me into her, hands buried in my hair as she tried to kiss me. I stopped her with a smirk, "I thought I wasn't allowed to touch you?"

"Y/n Y/n/n, if you don't touch me I swear to god I will look after myself for the next month."

"You couldn't handle that my love."

"Watch me."

I was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to handle no sex for a month, but I also didn't want to risk it so I gripped her hips, pulling her in for a rough kiss. Hands and mouths wandered as we danced, Ally grinding against me while I kept my hands in likely inappropriate places to keep her close. The team came and went, dancing and laughing along side us. I felt free for the first time in a long time, my mind was solely focused on Ally, the team and dancing. Something that hadn't really happened since I changed meds. It had taken adjustments, headaches and outbursts, but the new meds had definitely helped sort myself out. My mind was still all over the place more so then with the other meds, which was not my favourite thing, but it could be worse. 

When Ally started dancing with some of the younger girls, I took the opportunity to escape to the bathroom. I came back from the bathroom to find Ally dancing with some random guy. She looked happy and comfortable so I left her to it and went to get us drinks. Emily and Kelley were at the bar, we ended up talking for a while until I saw the guy plant his hands on Ally's hips.

My attention was fully on them now, waiting to see what Ally would do. She could take care of herself, I knew that, but I was ready to step in as soon as needed. Ally stepped back, saying something to the guy, He didn't seem to listen though, hand moving to sit lower on her hips. I slammed my drink onto the bar, anger rising to an almost uncontrollable level. Emily and Kelley must have noticed because I heard them mutter 'oh shit' before I stormed into the crowd. 

My arms wrapped around Ally's waist from behind, pulling her into me and out of his reach. He didn't back off though, trying to take her arm and pull her back, "We were dancing, fuck off."

"You were until you disrespected her and started trying to touch my fiancé, so back the fuck off."

He tried again so I pulled Ally behind me, standing almost chest to chest with him. He pushed me back, before swinging, his fist connecting my with my jaw. It didn't hurt, though it might leave a small bruise. I would almost never start the fight, but I would finish it. I swung hard, fist connecting with his jaw and knocking him to the ground. Once a few guys held him back, I turned to check on Ally, making sure she wasn't hurt before pulling her into my arms.

"Are you okay love?"

"I'm fine. Thank you baby."

"Like I would let anyone treat my girl like that."

We were pulled out of the club by Alyssa and Ashlyn. Ali was waiting with a disappointed look obvious on her face. "What the fuck Y/n? Do you have any idea the trouble you could get in?"

"He through the first punch, therefore it was self-defense."

"That doesn't matter! You shouldn't have engaged."

"Like fuck I was about to let him assault my girlfriend. She made it clear she wasn't interested, I made it clear she wasn't interested yet he kept trying to grab her. Then he swung at me, what else was I supposed to do Ali? Just let him keep trying to come at her? Over my dead fucki-"

A hand ran up my back and into my hair, scratching lightly, effectively cutting me off and calming me down slightly, "That's enough baby, Ali's not the one you're mad at."

My head rest against her shoulder, hand still working through my hair as I waited for the anger to fade before saying anything. "I'm sorry Ali."

"I'm sorry too, I didn't realise what had happened. It doesn't make it right, but your reaction is understandable. How's your hand? And your face?"

"My face is fine, he barely hit hard enough for it to hurt. My hand however hurts like a bitch."

Ally smirked, whispering in my ear, "Looks like your tongue will be doing a lot of work for a while."

"Something tells me it won't be complaining."

"Okay you two, that's enough of whatever gross stuff that is. Let's get back to the hotel."

Ally and I stumbled slightly into our room, having sobered up a bit, but still pretty drunk. Ali stopped by quickly to give me an ice pack for my hand, mumbling something about going to bed and telling us to have fun. I flopped down onto the bed, ice pressed against my throbbing hand. I didn't regret defending Ally, there was nothing I wouldn't do for her, to make sure she was okay. I did slightly regret hitting the guy though. It was self-defense, but there was the possibility for trouble or bad publicity for myself or the team. There was nothing I could do now though except damage control if it came to it. 

"You know you shouldn't have hit him right? I know it was self-defense, but I also know you were hoping for him to swing first."

I sat up to find Ally watching me, eye brow raised as if daring me to deny it. She knew me, she knew I wouldn't have started the fight, but I would likely bait someone into starting it, "I know, but when it comes to you, I don't care if it was right or not. And yes, maybe a part of me hoped he was going to try."

She rolled her eyes at me, a love filled smile appearing, "You're lucky I love you and your dumb decisions. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine love. My hand hurts a fair bit, but my face is fine, he didn't hit hard." 

"Can't say the same about him, I'm pretty sure you broke his nose."

I laughed, pulling her into me. I was worried about how this would actually affect her now that the adrenaline was wearing off. As far as I was aware, this hadn't happened to her before. Sure there were the occasional touches, but everyone had backed off when she told them to, "Are you sure you're okay Ally?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Everything happened so quickly, I haven't really had a chance to process it yet."

"I'm here if and when you want to talk about it."

"Thank you baby, thank you for protecting me even though I don't agree with how you did it."

"I'll always protect you Ally, no matter what. Come on, lets get changed, watch a movie and cuddle."

We quickly got changed before cuddling up under the blankets. Drops of warm water landed on my shoulder as Ally sniffled quietly beside me. Like me, Ally didn't cry very often, when she did it was best just to hold her until she was ready to talk about it, if she was even wanted to. So, I held her closer, hand running along her back as she cried quietly. I felt my own tears start to form. Seeing Ally crying hurt me more than pretty much anything else in this world. When she cried, it made me want to cry. I pushed them away as best I could, focusing on comforting Ally. She needed it more than I did.

Ally kissed my collarbone, mumbling, "I love you Y/n. I wouldn't have danced with him if I thought he wanted more. I'm sorry."

"Don't apolagise to me Ally. Nothing that happened tonight is your fault, it's his fault, he should have respected your wishes. I love you Al. I love you so fucking much. You light up my life like the moon on a dark night, you make me ridiculously happy, like love sick in a way that you only see in romcoms. Even after all these years you still make the butterflies go wild, my heart skip a beat when I see you. You're the first person I think of when I wake up, the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep and even in my dreams you're there. I love you."

Ally pecked my lips before pulling away giggling, "You're drunk baby."

Ally made me more sappy then I had ever been, but when I was drunk it was definitely over the top sappy, "Maybe a little. Do you at least feel the same?"

"Of course I do baby. I love you so much it hurts."

[finniestoncrane]

2.5k Event Request - Walter Skinner x Fem!Reader word count: 870 a/n: please i know he's a vanilla exterior with kinky stuff going on inside, he just needs someone who will discuss the finer details of pet play in the morning to bring it out of him... cw: pet play, kitten play, posessiveness, morning sex awooo 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie2.5k (to follow or to block)

The morning sun warmed your cheeks, the rest of you kept comfortable by Walter's body, his arms wrapped around you protectively, bodies tangled together between the sheets of his bed. Spending the night with him was always a pleasure, but waking up to him in the morning was what you really enjoyed about your encounters. It felt right, to be with him. And when he wasn’t forced out of the bed at a ridiculous hour to start work, you fought to keep him there all day.

With your fingers brushing through his greying chest hair, you gently woke him up, watching as he came too, remembering where he was and who he was with and smiling wide, relaxed, happy.

“Morning, handsome.”

“Good morning to you, gorgeous.”

He leaned into you, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head before stretching out.

“I think I’ll make some coffee. You want some, kitten?”

The word slipped out so quickly that even he seemed shocked by it.

“Kitten? I didn’t have you pegged as the petname type, Walter.”

Your tone was light, a little bit of playful teasing to get him blushing.

“I uh… I’m not, not usually. I don’t know what came over me. Must be the effect you have on me.”

He leaned in to kiss you again, before apologising.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I kind of liked it.”

Without his glasses on, you could see deep into his eyes, watching them sparkle as excitement settled in his chest.

“Oh really? You like that, kitten?”

He eased back into the bed, all notions of getting up and making coffee gone as he decided to stay and explore this revelation with you.

“Mmm, I do, actually.”

He caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting it up as you inhaled, letting his fingers graze over the underside once it was exposed.

“Yeah? You’re such a sweet little pussycat. You like getting your chin scratched, kitten?”

You nodded in response, choosing to let out a soft purr instead of any words of affirmation. The gentle rumbling sound vibrated through him as he learned yet another new fact about himself.

“Oh, I like that… do it again.”

Complying, you let out another purr, and he cooed over you, leaning in to kiss your forehead as he whispered softly.

“Good girl, my pretty little kitten.”

Nuzzling into him, you could feel his heartbeat, fast and quick. He really was enjoying himself, and you were happy to indulge, bringing your hands to his chest once more as you began to knead his skin. He let out a content groan in response, opening his mouth and sighing before he spoke.

“Maybe we should get you a collar. Wouldn’t want anyone else to claim you when you’re out on your own, would we?”

Walter was never this possessive, at least not openly so. In fact, at the beginning of your relationship with him he’d seemed so casual that you worried he wasn’t all that interested.

“We could get one with a little bell on it… see how much I can make it ring…”

There was a deep heat growing in the pit of your stomach, and you could feel your clit tingling, slick collecting as you considered what a sweet existence it would be to live as his little pet.

“And I’ll put my name on the back, so people know who you belong to.”

“Oh my god, Walter…”

You rolled into him, laying him flat on his back as you scrambled onto his lap, sitting atop him and staring down into his wide, intrigued eyes.

“I had no idea you were into that kind of thing.”

He shrugged, smiling a little awkwardly.

“Neither did I, but it’s very appealing. Especially when I have such a sweet, willing little pet to go along with it.”

“Oh, I am into it. I can learn a few tricks for you, too. Scratch your back with my claws? Get my little paws all over you?”

You could feel his cock throbbing below you, shifting against your plump, swollen lips beneath his y-fronts. He slid his hand down the front of the band, freeing himself, stroking the tip against your clit before holding the end of the shaft firmly.

You took the hint, settling yourself down on it, feeling him enter you, thick, long, filling. Your warmth, wetness, had him groaning already, hands clinging to your waist as he bucked his hips lightly.

He was so ready for you, so close to his climax already just from being surrounded by your warm, welcoming cunt. There was no need for coffee, he was wide awake, ready for his kitten.

A soft sigh fell over his lips, your gentle rocking, body rolling over him, walls caressing his length as you rode him. He was close, so close, dangerously so. It was the fastest you’d ever managed to coax an orgasm out of him. And with the way he was chewing his lip, the feeling of him releasing himself inside of you was imminent.

With your hands on his chest, you let out a soft meow, watching his pupils widen, his fingers tensing against your flesh as he came undone.

[xreaderbooks]

Paradise on Earth (17)

Chapter: 17. The Bonfire

Pair: JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Language, Underage drinking, Violence and Jealousy

Summary: Pope receives new information, and the annual bonfire is a bowl of drama.

a/n: not fully proofread and a day later than promised but here it is...

Available on Wattpad and AO3

Chapter 16 - Series Masterlist - Navigation - Chapter 18

Nobody knew what to do after the explosion, it was like time had stilled, it was like a bomb went off with you and your friends hiding behind the trenches. Sarah’s wailing and sobbing, the radios police officers had carried on them had picked up on frequencies from other cops in the area. Shoupe had responded, informing them of what had just occurred then ushering you, your brother, Pope, JJ, and Kie, off the dock.

Sarah was allowed to stay, being as this was her property, her father’s property and he was dead. She stayed in Topper's arms, teary-eyed as she watched John B walk away without a word in her direction.

What could he say? What could any of you say?

I’m sorry? For her loss, probably. But none of you would truly mean it, Ward Cameron was better off dead.

None of you wanted to leave Sarah in her home alone with her brother who had attempted to murder her not 24 hours ago, but nobody dared to convince her to go with you all.

The weekend would end and you would all have to be back in school tomorrow, spending the last day fishing by the dock and contemplating the meaning of life after what you had just witnessed.

Day turned into night, JJ and Kie went to buy beer while you, Pope, and John B, lay on the HMS Pogue. The three of you stared up into the night sky in reflection. Your brother had just confessed to him and Sarah breaking up.

“I don’t get it,” John B voices after minutes of silence, “I don’t.”

“Love is five minutes of pleasure for a lifetime of pain.”

You snap your fingers at Pope’s poetic words, “Jesus if you wrote a book about heartbreak, I’d the shit out of it… Did it really only last five minutes though?”

You tried to lighten the mood a little, though clearly, those weren’t the vibes the two heartbroken boys were on. Lowkey, neither were you, but showing it would just open a can of worms (questions) that you weren’t ready to deal with.

Pope turns his head to his left, where you lay in between him and John B, “What is wrong with you?”

“What’s going on with you and Kie?” You quip, sitting up and crossing your legs with your knees outwards. You technically already knew what Kie had told you, but you wanted to hear his thoughts.

“Well, she just wants to be friends.”

“Oh, death blow,” John B exhales. “I’m sorry, man.”

“I-I didn’t even see it coming,” Pope lifted and let his hands fall onto his stomach.

You pursed your lips, not knowing what to say. Thankfully, you didn’t because the duo that left had just come back, tossing beer your way. You almost didn’t catch yours, JJ threw it at you swiftly, and you glared at him to which he ignored you.

“What are you guys doing down here?” He asked. “Having a good cry?”

“Cry?” John B and Pope ask each other, “What are you talking about? We don’t cry.”

You were about to, seeing Kie wearing JJ’s sweater, the size overwhelming her frame. You popped open the can and sipped on it.

“You know it’s not your fault right?” She asks JB with a smile.

“You think she’ll come back?”

“She’s one of us,” She inhales smoke from a joint, no doubt she and JJ already started smoking.

He smiles to himself, “Sarah’s a pogue.”

~~~

“Y/n!”

A loud feminine voice yelled in your ear, you jolted awake, your hand swinging to hit whoever disturbed you.

“Woah, chill,” She steps back.

“What the fuck, Kiara,” You mumble into your pillow once you saw it was her.

“It’s Monday, we have school.”

You wanted to die, quickly and right now, in your sleep preferably. Your bed had never felt more comfortable, you felt like you had just closed your eyes and here this bitch was waking you from your slumber.

You physically could not open your eyes, they felt permanently shut. You felt yourself drift…

“Y/n!”

“Oh my god!” You cried out, “Okay, okay, I swear if John B and Jayj, aren’t getting the same treatment I’m suing.”

You rubbed your eyes, feeling your eyesight get better, you needed to wash your face. You changed into jeans and a grey cotton long-sleeve, the autumn air coming in, allowing you to wear your cozy clothing without dying of heatstroke.

You wobble your way to the bathroom about to open the door when it opens for you, your eyes widen before you as a familiar blond (who you still weren’t talking to) appears before you, you both switch places and you shut the door. You quickly freshened up and went back to your room, snatching up your bookbag from the floor.

“We have a geometry test in 30 minutes,” Pope informs John B, dragging him along and pulling JJ by his collar into the Twinkie.

You stayed behind, catching a ride with Kie, the both of you didn’t have a test in the morning and decided you can be late to first period and homeroom to buy some groceries.

Kie insisted she pays, she saw how empty the fridge was before she woke you up and wanted to do something about it.

“You seriously don’t have to do that,” You protest as she pulls out a credit card.

She gives you a look, “I can’t just let you guys starve, now c’mon let’s drop this off before we’re even more late.”

~~~

After school, with a full fridge, you eat a bowl of fruit you picked out at the store as Pope explains how Mr. Sunn pulled them into his classroom and gave them Denmark Tanny’s diary.

“August 15th set sail from Port-au-prince on calm seas.” Pope Reads, “Came upon the Spanish ship San Jose on fire, the entire deck was aflame and we could hear the screams of men trapped below. The Spanish Captain cared about only one thing; his valuable cargo, the Cross of Santo Domingo, and countless bars of gold.”

“Once the cargo was on board we went to help the crew but Captain Limberey ordered us to pull bayonets and not to let any of the Spanish crew on board. He robbed them and left them to die.”

“So it didn’t go down off Bermuda,” JJ confirmed.

“And it was a Limberey, stealing shit again,” Kie scoffed.

Pope nods, “This diary proves that both the gold and the Cross of Santo Domingo were on the Royal Merchant.”

“Why didn’t we find it in the well then?” JJ asked. “If Denmark was able to get this bedazzled cross off of the Merchant to shore, why didn’t he just hide it with the gold?”

“Because it was too big,” You piece his question together. “He had to hide it someplace else, obviously.”

“But where?” John B questions.

“Right before he was hung, Denmark said he’d buried the treasure at the foot of the angel,” Pope explains.

“I thought this was about the key,” JJ looks confused.

“Right, so what’s the connection?” Kie observes.

Pope repeats the line, “‘The path to the tomb begins in the island room.’”

“But what is the island room?” She rolls her eyes.

“You know what helps me figure shit out?” JJ hops up from his place on the couch on the porch, you hold your breath for what he was about to say, knowing it could be potentially catastrophic. “Smoking beers and drinking weed, the ideas just pour out of me.”

“I don’t think we need another one of your ideas,” You look up at him from your seat.

“Not like yours are any better,” He snaps back and continues his statement. “If we just sit here and try to figure this out, we’re gonna get nowhere, but if we get creative and go to this bonfire tonight… maybe we’ll get somewhere.”

“Or, just a perfect excuse to party,” You slump in your seat.

“Well, I just got disowned by my parents and I’m an official member of the I-have-nothing-to-lose club,” Kie pipes in, meaning she’s in.

“Pope?” JJ looks to him hopefully.

He sighs, “We’re so close.”

JJ kneels down in front of Pope, “Think about how much you could think if you just gave your brain a rest.”

John B, JJ, and Kie give him looks of encouragement, you didn’t even bother, still bitter at JJ, though you were down for a party you weren’t gonna tell him that.

Pope ends up conceding, the others bursting into cheers as they make plans to pre-game. You and your friends all take shots of some cheap vodka from a corner store that you all knew didn’t ID before heading to the bonfire.

~~~

Every year it was set in a small old abandoned amphitheater-like place, dozens of teens from all parts of the island, gathered here for a beginning of the year rager. Kind of like a last hurrah, though the last hurrah would have technically been the last one, point is- people went wild. In a good way.

Pope and Kie were in conversation, hopping out of the Twinkie, not looking back twice, you stayed with JJ and John B, thinking you and John B would at least stick together.

Of course, you were wrong, one of John B’s old hookups had been desperately begging for his attention, not even bothering to try to hide her obviousness.

JJ gave you one look before heading in another direction with a beer he was shotgunning.

You took a breath, letting the annoyance roll off you as you went in search of a drink, JJ would find a whore to fuck as John B would, Pope and Kie will go socialize and you would drink to drink yourself numb.

You bumped into a broad shoulder when trying to weave your way through people, you meant to apologize and move on but the guy who looked over his shoulder to see who had disrupted his conversation was cute. Really cute, forget about JJ for a whole night, cute.

You replaced the frown with a sheepish smile and softened your eyes to look at the boy through your lashes, “Sorry.”

“No harm done,” He turned his full attention to you. “What’s your name, Gorgeous?” His features made you want to say, ‘Whatever you want it to be’ but you held off.

“Y/n, nice to meet you…”

“James,” He hit you with a flirtatious smirk. ‘Another one whose name starts with J’ You willed away the urge your roll your eyes. The guy had dimples, and light brown eyes that weren’t usually your type but it complimented him well.

You spent a good 45 minutes talking to him, he made the conversation flow and was easy to talk to, you were surprised you hadn’t seen him around or heard about him but then again he was very much the ‘boy-next-door’ type.

He flirted like he was into you but it teetered the line of him just being a really nice dude. It frustrated you since you just wanted a good make out, have it lead to something else maybe, but you didn’t want to push and he wasn’t offering.

“I was thinking maybe a weekend when you’re not so busy with school, we could hang out?” He looked at you hopefully.

“I-”

“She can’t,” You felt the weight of JJ’s arm sling around your shoulder, pulling you into him as if you were naturally a part of him. You wriggled underneath him to get out of his hold but he didn’t budge, only pulling you tighter.

“Oh,” James' face faltered a little before brightening up again, “No worries then. It was nice talking to you, Y/n.”

It was over. He was too nice of a guy to argue with JJ who was close enough to indicate that there was something between you, even though that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

“Wait- James!” You groaned and hid your face in your hands feeling aggravated at the blond who had immediately slid his arm off your shoulders the minute the brunet was gone. You were in mourning for the sweet boy you had hoped to get to know more. “I hate you.”

“I send away one hopeless guy, and I get knocked down your list of favorite people?” JJ repeats the words you told him the other day before the big argument.

“No, you've been acting like the world’s biggest dick, that’s how you get knocked down my list.” You bump your shoulder against him as you shove past him and he walks after you. “Leave me alone.”

“No,” He persists.

“JJ, I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“That’s fine because I wanna talk to you.”

You falter in my steps and my eyes narrow in thought, wondering what the hell was up with him and his quick change of emotions.

“I didn’t like you talking to that guy-”

“So what, you were jealous?” The nerve of this guy, “Was that what that was?”

He hesitates, “Y/n, I’m just trying to look after you.”

“I don’t need you to look out for me, JJ, Jesus!” My voice raises, “I don’t need you!”

“You almost died the other day, and I wasn’t there.”

“That’s not your fault as much as it wasn’t mine, but if you want to hide your feelings behind some bullshit, go ahead but don’t use me as an excuse. You can be Kiara’s knight in shining armor but not mine.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

You felt the sting of tears hit the back of your eyes, this was not how tonight was supposed to go, “You and Kie. There is something there and while that’s still going on, you are not allowed to feel upset or jealous when I talk to a guy at a fucking party.”

“Y/n-”

Shouts were coming from the pit, people rushed towards the scene and you heard Sarah’s voice call out John B’s name. You sighed and looked at JJ who was already running into the mess of people.

Can there never be just one day, you glare into the dark sky. You had the keys of the Twinkie on you, John B mistakenly tossing them to you when you were all walking to the party.

You didn’t feel like dealing with whatever was going on, so while everyone was watching what you guessed was another fight, you took a therapeutic walk to the van. You started up the engine and crossed your legs on the dash of the passenger seat.

Your friends soon joined you, Kie went into the driver’s seat next to you, John B held a beer can up to his forehead on the seat behind you, Pope was across from him and JJ just walked up to the open side door.

“Well that was unexpected,” He crushes an empty can.

Kie turns her head to him with furrowed brows, “Was it?”

~~~

It was silent around the fire at the Chateau. You all took in the night, not knowing what else to do. What was supposed to be a distraction to help you all regain mental energy, just turned out to be more chaos that needed to be quieted.

With all that happened at the party, you sat the furthest away from JJ on the other end of where he was sitting, you tiredly leaned your head on John B’s shoulder, with your marshmallow on the end of a stick, melting in the fire.

That was until he started sporadically moving trying to get a bite of Kie’s s’more and your marshmallow fell into the pit. You pursed your lips, this night couldn’t get any worse.

“I have never hated you more,” You tell John B who left his seat and crouched on the other side of you for something.

“I’m stealing your marshmallow,” Kie warned Pope who protested.

“Hand me one, please?” You reach out to grab another marshmallow she stole.

John B tapped your back and told you all to shush, “Soembody’s here.”

“You don’t think Topper would…” Kie sets her stick down. “Do you have your gun?”

The five of your turn toward the rustling coming from the trees.

“Oh, now she wants the gun,” JJ’s tone accusatory as he recalls all the times Kiara scolded JJ for having the gun.

“Oh, now you don’t have the gun?”

John B calls out to the person in the trees, and lo and behold, it’s Limberey’s manservant- Renfield.

“You have got to be kidding me,” You whisper to yourself, thinking back on how you thought the night couldn’t get any worse.

The man comes out of hiding with his hands up in surrender, “Lovely evening we’re having.”

It definitely was not a lovely evening, especially not with him here, you all knew what he was here for. John B had tricked him and his boss into thinking they had the right key, Pope’s family’s key.

“Look, I don’t hold judges with any of y’all, alright?” He stops a couple of feet away from the group. “But this can go hard, or this can go easy, you know what I’m here for. Let me give you a little demonstration, you see that swing?”

He points to the swing you used to sit on in your childhood, JJ or John B would push you on it, sometimes pushing so far you would fly off.

“I got the best bow hunters in the Army Rangers with me,” He whistles sharply and an arrow comes flying through barely passing JJ’s nose and hitting the carved tree. “Now, they're out there, they’ll stick you just as soon as I say so.”

JJ moves to swing at Renfield with a long rusty piece of metal but he all too soon whistles and another arrow lands directly next to JJ’s foot.

The realization hits everyone at the same time it seems, you look at Pope sympathetically, these guys he brought with him were clearly good. If any of you had any tricks, one of you would get shot.

“I’m not gonna give you a countdown or any bullshit like that, I’m just gonna whistle.” He stood in front of Pope, tension was heavy as he held eye contact with Pope.

Your friend looked pained as he dug into the pocket of his shorts and brought out the key with the red string, “This key belongs to my family.”

“I’m losing patience with you, Pope,” Renfield brings his fingers to his lips as a threat.

Slowly, Pope hands it to the man.

“You did the right thing kid, knowing when you don't have a choice is an underappreciated talent,” he waves the key in front of Pope. “You be safe.”

You felt like you could finally breathe with him several paces away from you all now, but Pope looked like he was about to cry and you went after him as he stormed off.

~~~

Chapter 18

Taglist:

@jbassettjmaybank - @deanwherescas - @thtbwltts - @nerdypartytrashpsychic - @random-girl-army - @wisegirlies - @instabull - @sexyfoxlady - @bubs-world - @sdawn03 - @mendesclines - @obx-pogues-4-life - @mentalforfics - @p-prettybitch - @namacissi - @dczedhee - @inkandpen22 - @royalavenger - @ayeitsjustmee - @80strashbag - @onlyangel-444 - @freds-slut - @poppet05 - @itsjuststaticnoises - @ahnneyong - @lovepizza567 - @jasminfelling - @rana03 - @loki-loveer - @rana030 - @lostinatimeline - @boldlypessimistic - @clinelyn - @a-j-stuffs - @yunhobug - @syd223sworld - @strawberry--fawn

(if your name is crossed that means tumblr won't let me tag you)

[booksanxietyandsports]

Stephan Leyhe/Andreas Wellinger - "Quiet of the night." (fic)

well well well. what do we have here.

right after welle won the first four hills comp in oberstdorf this season i wrote like a thousand words, then completely forgot about it. i just discovered it again and in a lovely case of hyperfixation wrote the rest of it in about an hour, so do with that what you will. better late than never, right?

so as for the timeline, this takes place after andi won the first comp of the 23/24 four hills tournament. for the sake of plot they’re not roommates in this (although we all know they always share, but let’s just pretend they all got single rooms for the tour). even though it’s a rather quick and short one at 2.2k, i hope you guys enjoy it. as always, i’d love to know what you think and appreciate any kind of feedback <3

Knock Knock. 

Stephan turns over in his bed towards the door, sheets tangling with his legs. The room is pitch black when he blinks sleepily, eyes protesting the unscheduled awakening. There’s someone knocking at his door, which isn’t an uncommon occurrence in the team hotel during the tour because someone always wants something, except it’s two at night and they only went to bed like two and a half hours ago. Stephan‘s brain is still muddled with sleep after the adrenaline crash that inevitably always follows a competition, especially one as electrifying as yesterday‘s. So, what on earth-

There‘s a third knock and Stephan squints at the door as someone gently pushes it open, causing a sliver of light from the hallway to spill into the darkness of his room. He can barely make out a silhouette when there‘s a whisper- “Stephan? Are you awake?”

Andreas.

Stephan sits up abruptly, every last trace of sleep gone. “Yeah,” he whispers back, which isn’t true at all given that Andi quite literally just woke him up but he’d rather fling himself off a hill than tell the younger that. It’s not like he minds, anyway, he’s got an open ear for all of his teammates, although maybe it’s a bit different where Andi is concerned. Stephan tries not to think about it.

Andi tiptoes into the room and closes the door behind him. Darkness falls back around them and for a long moment neither of them moves. Stephan looks in Andi’s general direction and waits for him to offer some kind of explanation, to start talking the way he always does without paying any mind to time, company or circumstances. After a full minute goes by without a sound Stephan starts to grow increasingly concerned. “Andi?,” he prompts gently, eyes searching the darkness for any kind of movement. 

“Yeah, uh, sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up, it’s late, we’ve got training today and it’s stupid anyways, I’ll just-“ 

“Don’t you dare open that door, Andreas. It’s the middle of the night, what’s wrong?” Stephan hears Andi shift on his feet followed by the faint click of the door handle being released. The silence returns as the questions hangs between them, unanswered. Despite the odd situation, Stephan smiles quietly to himself.

“Stop biting your lip, Andi. It’s gonna be all raw and red on camera tomorrow.”

He hears Andi sputter over where he’s still standing by the goddamn door. “I’m not! It’s pitch-black in here, Stephan, you can’t even see me! How would you know that?”

Because I spend most of my time watching you. Because I could paint your face in a thousand different ways if I had just an ounce of talent. 

“Because you always bite your lips bloody when something’s bothering you. Now come on over here and tell me what’s wrong, please.” Stephan sits up straighter as he hears Andi shuffle through the room, leaning against the headboard. The mattress dips beneath him as Andi sits down on the edge of the bed next to his stretched-out legs, which isn’t as close as Stephan would like him, but it’s better than the other side of the room.

He figures this is the moment they should turn on the lamp on his bedside table since they still can’t fucking see, but something about Andi’s behaviour stops him. This isn’t like the younger at all; to be so caught up in his thoughts and feelings that it drives him out of bed in the middle of the night. Maybe it’s got something to do with how young Andi was when he started into the whole world cup circus, but Stephan has always admired how good his teammate seemed to be at compartmentalizing. One problem after the other, brain turned off periodically to rest, then switched back on to work out the issues at maximum capacity and all of that with endless optimism and a quick smile. 

So yeah, the more Stephan thinks about it, the more alarming he finds this entire situation. The least he can do is offer Andi the courtesy of keeping the lights off.

Not that it helps much. He can feel the tension in Andi’s body, every muscle coiled as if he’s preparing to make another jump from the hill. Stephan bends his knees a little, tucking them closer to his body in a silent offer for Andi to lean against them. He takes a deep breath and tries to prompt the younger into talking with an easy question.

“Did you sleep at all?”

Andi sighs. “Uh, not really. I think. Kinda been dozing on and off since we all went to bed but…time hasn’t really felt real tonight anyways. That’s so weird don’t you think?”

“What is?” Stephan’s eyes have adjusted to the darkness enough to make out Andi’s face turned in his direction to look at him, eyes way too wide and awake for this time of night.

“This! Me waking you up at this godawful hour just because, what? I won a competition? Been there done that, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. And yet here I am and my body just doesn’t- it doesn’t-“ 

Andi cuts himself off with a frustrated sound, dropping his head into his hands and pulling at his hair. “My brain’s not shutting up, Stephan. It wasn’t like that after Lake Placid last season, right? What’s different now?” He’s desperate for an answer, voice breaking on the last word. 

Stephan’s heart breaks a little, too, because Andi sounds tired. Utterly tired; the kind of exhaustion that creeps up on you after an entire evening of adrenaline and endorphins and riding the high of a victory. He puts a hand on Andi’s shoulder and just leaves it there, applying a bit of pressure to let the younger know he’s here. His heart breaks a bit more when Andi leans into the touch, instinctively chasing the comfort. “What’s different, Stephan?” Andi repeats quietly. “This wasn’t my first win since- since everything, and it’s not like it came out of nowhere. It’s been building up for a while, right? I’ve been doing great so far, I feel good, I-“ He stops for a second before dropping his gaze to the ground. “I think I’m scared.”

There it is. Stephan has started to rub soothing circles into Andi’s shoulder and back while the younger was clearly working something out. If there’s one thing Stephan’s learned in all the years he’s spent with Andi, then it’s that sometimes he just needed to rant. They’re different that way, Stephan supposes. Whereas he himself tends to work things out in the relative peace of his mind, Andi needs to voice his concerns. Contact, feedback, the weight of spoken words in a space to be able to see clearly. And if he needs to do that at two in the morning, then so God help him Stephan will be the one that listens. 

“What are you scared of, love?” Stephan asks softly. Andi scoffs. 

“I don’t know. Messing up? Disappointing everyone? It’s like…it’s like this victory comes with a price tag, you know? With conditions. The last few years nobody expected anything. I was the Olympic champion with the tragic injury, so getting back on track was the only task I had and nobody cared when I messed up. Every good jump was a bonus. But now people keep saying I’m back and then I went ahead and won the first comp of the tournament and now-“ 

“-now everyone expects you to win the rest as well.” 

Andi deflates the second Stephan speaks the words out loud. His head drops forward, messy hair tickling Stephan’s arm. The older carefully moves his hand from Andi’s shoulder to his scalp, gently carding his fingers through the unruly strands. “I don’t know if I can do it,” Andi whispers after a few seconds of silence and lifts his head to look right at Stephan, eyes desperately searching for answers. Stephan holds his gaze.

“Listen, Andi. You don’t owe anyone anything – not the fans, not our coaches, not us. The only thing you owe yourself is to enjoy competitions like yesterday’s since you went so long without them despite always trying your fucking best. What you do is enough, Andreas. Every jump you pour your heart and soul into is enough, no matter where you rank in the end. This victory isn’t worth more than the one in Lake Placid just because it’s got Four Hills written all over it, alright? You could’ve given up long before you ever reached where you’re at today, but you never did. That alone matters more than whatever happens in the next few days. Because I know for a fact that you will fight for every point and if that’s not enough, then that’s not on you. I believe in you and so do the team and the fans and whoever measures your talent and worth by whether you win this damn tournament or not can go fuck right off.”

He inhales sharply after his monologue, which was admittedly longer than he’d planned. Andi stares at him, eyes wide and mouth open. 

“Uh, so” Stephan finishes eloquently. “You know. Don’t worry too much.” He shuts his eyes briefly, cringing at himself internally. Way to ruin this, Stephan. You’re doing fantastic.

He looks back up when Andi snorts and dissolves into quiet laughter. He can feel a smile fighting its way onto his own lips because honestly, no one is immune to the sound of Andi Wellinger’s joy. It’s even sweeter when Stephan’s the reason for it. 

Andi’s voice is breathless when he teases Stephan. “You say all that and end it with ‘don’t worry too much’? Really?”

“Well excuse me,” Stephan retorts, untangling his hand from Andi’s hair to put it on his own chest in mock offense. “I apologise for running out of sensible things to say in the middle of the night. If you’d like to register a complaint, I’m gonna have to ask you to do it at a reasonable hour.”

Andi giggles again, wiping his eyes with his hands. He looks back at Stephan then, tilting his head in such an adorable way that Stephan’s heart skips a beat or three. The silence stretches on for a while, the mood turning serious once more as Stephan practically sees Andi going over his words in his head. 

One of us is gonna have to say something because if it gets any quieter, he’ll hear how loud my heart is beating. 

Yet Stephan doesn’t break the fragile silence. Andi doesn’t, either. Instead, the younger shifts, turning to face Stephan properly with one leg folded under him while the other hangs off the bed, and pulls the older forward into a hug.

Oh.

Stephan wraps his arms around Andi’s waist instinctively because that’s just what his body is wired to do at this point. They’re usually in an outrun when this happens, but right now, as Andi is tightening his arms around Stephan’s shoulders and hiding his face in the older’s neck, Stephan would gladly never see an outrun again if it meant he could stay right here for the rest of his life.

They hug in a way that’s only really acceptable in the tranquility of the night, when the sole witness is the moon and the darkness swallows the thoughts of any consequences a touch like this might have. Time passes and while Stephan doesn’t know if it’s seconds or minutes or hours, he never eases the pressure around Andi’s slim waist. He’s unconsciously started to rub circles into the dip of it with his thumb and he doesn’t stop when he notices. Andi’s breathing is quiet and steady against the side of his neck. Stephan can’t help but smile when the tension finally bleeds out of the younger’s body. 

“Did you mean it?” Andi asks after a while, voice little more than a whisper. “What exactly?” Stephan whispers back just as softly, tucking the other impossibly closer. Andi makes the transition with ease, laying almost entirely on top of Stephan, face still hidden against his shoulder. “Everything. That I owe my victories to no one but myself. That you-,” he clears his throat, a bit awkwardly. “That you believe in me?” 

It comes out like a question and something in Stephan’s chest cracks a little when he hears it. Impulsively, he turns his head to press a soft kiss into Andi’s hair. “Of course I do, love. Never stopped. And I always will, no matter how the tour ends.”

Andi exhales then, a bit shakily but Stephan can feel him settle. He removes one arm from around Stephan to search for Stephan’s hand in the dark and holds on tight when he finds it. Stephan squeezes back, interlacing their fingers. Through it he takes everything Andi gives him; all the doubts and thoughts and uncertainty that overwhelm Andi’s infinite optimism only in the shadows of the night. Stephan knows that when the sun rises in a few hours, it’ll be like the clouds in Andi’s head never existed at all, because that’s just how he works. Stephan wouldn’t want to have it any other way. 

Until that happens, he holds on tight to the boy in his arms. 

Andi doesn’t go back to his own room that night. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting my partner to spend the holidays with his family?

So trigger warning for death/grief. I'm not sure if this is extremely straightforward in who is in the wrong here, it at least doesn't feel obvious to me.

My (24NB) mother (55F) passed away last week. She had struggled previously with cancer and liver failure but was seemingly doing well until a blood infection caused her to be hospitalized. She was expected to recover, but passed rather suddenly after a week in hospital.

She and I were incredibly close. We talked on the phone most days. The passing has been very difficult for me. Especially with it being so close to Christmas, I'm dreading the holidays. My mom was always the one who made Christmas special for my family.

Now, my partner (23M) loves Christmas and comes from a big family that is very close-knit. We've been together for a little over a year, and currently live together. Neither of us drive, but most of his family live 45 minutes from us. This makes visiting with them difficult as we're dependent on who can drive us and that usually means we have to stay much longer than we would with my family. As a result, he spent Thanksgiving with my family (Canadian Thanksgiving happening prior to my mom passing). This caused a total meltdown from his family, who saw this as me asking him to disrespect them. He ended up having to lie about being sick and missing both Thanksgivings.

Now that Christmas is approaching, I had already asked that we spend Christmas morning with my family if his family planned on being out of town just for ease. He agreed that would be easier, and the following year we could go with his family. This of course changed when my mom passed. Instead, my family planned on having a quiet Christmas together. I expected that he would still attend, especially since I'm expecting it to be hard on me.

His cousin (30sF) phoned the other day. They first talked about the hospital my mom passed in and how they had lost some of my moms belongings (the cousin works at the hospital and wanted to help us). I listened in to provide additional info for him to relay. At the end of that conversation, she brought up Christmas and said the plan was for herself and a few others to spend the entirety of Christmas Eve out of town with his family, and then leave Christmas morning following presents. He didn't argue, just gave a vague response along the lines of 'we'll see' which led to his cousin telling him it would be 'very unfair' of me to prevent him from spending Christmas with his family because I see him all the time and "it's only 24 hours". At the end, she added a quick "Your mom would really appreciate it!" Which hurt my feelings to hear, but I knew it wasn't intended that way.

The whole talk made me really upset, and I had to excuse myself to cry. After talking it through with a close friend, they suggested I bring it up to my partner just so he could understand that its difficult for me to think about Christmas for the time being. I did exactly that, and my partner got very upset with me. He told me that his cousin didn't intend it that way. He also told me that it was unfair that I already expected him to spend Christmas with my family, and that I was 'forcing' him to be a part of my family and taking him from his own.

It was never my intention to make him feel as though he couldn't spend time with his family, and I don't think I've ever said anything like that but I don't know how my words and actions have come across. I want him around for support during this first year without my mom, but I don't want him to feel that I'm forcing him into missing his own holidays. AITA?

What are these acronyms?