#I think the youngest one is like 20 and he’s tied w my sister

[stuckinapril]

Being not only the eldest daughter but also the eldest cousin on my mom’s side is such a difficult role but someone has to take it

[skgway]

1832 Nov., Mon. 12

9 1/4

12 1/2

Pickles came at 9 1/4 which roused me up – To see him after breakfast at Lower place or he to call here again in the evening – Letter 3 pages and ends from M– [Mariana] (Lawton) vide line 27 page 285. Inquiries about Miss W[alker]. Smokes what is going on. Writes with implied affection, true and great as that of former days. Is unhappy and carless off living long, and has made her will and …… the tears started to my eyes and all my own affection burst upon me again –

Breakfast at 10 40/.. with my aunt – George Robinson came almost immediately for near an hour – Settled with him for stone leading for James Smith’s road etc. – He proposed some means of getting rid of Lower Brea lane footpath – To see about another day –

Breakfast at 11 40/.. – Told my aunt of M– [Mariana]’s letter – Came to my room at 12 20/.. – Fire in my room and from 12 25/.. to note 2 pages of 1/2 sheet from Miss Walker at 1 10/.. in consequence of which off in 1/4 hour to Lidgate and there in 25 minutes –

Home again in 1/2 hour at 5 20/.. – At my desk in about 10 minutes – Wrote the last 1/4 of page 3, and the ends and under the seal and finished my letter to Breadalbane MacLean – Began yesterday – Thanks for her letter and the willows (sent off Monday 29th instant from Coll house) 

"which I am very anxiously expecting, not only for their own sake, but because they are associated with many remembrances that I value most highly" –

Should have written some days ago, but waited in the hope of announcing the arrival of the cuttings – Shall write by tonight’s post to Glasgow to inquire about them – Bavardage amical – Wonder how her people did without her so long (5 weeks away) 

"Your life is one continued benefit to them; and a five week’s arrear of such services is hardly to be made up" –

Sorry her father is so dead to the world and that Sir Hector’s health is so failing – Mention the death of old Lochiel on the 19th September – Only known to Lady S– [Stuart] on the 6th ultimo and not known to Vere on the 24th ultimo the date of her last letter to me (from Turin) – Hope 

"if Lochiel is obliged to come over immediately surely V– [Vere] will remain with her friends till he can return for her – I should quite dread her being hurried across the alps at this season of the year …. You would all be pleased at dear Vere’s having got her rank – Surely, it has some value in a world of vanities like this" –

Civil congratulations on  Mrs. Maclean’s being again about to increase her family and sorrow at Mrs. Hunter’s having lost her youngest daughter – The loss of my steward and my aunt’s suffering health have kept me so long here or I should have been on the continent again before this – But my aunt so very much recovered, no longer uneasy about her – She herself spirits me up to get off, and I hope to leave here about the end of January but all things here so uncertain never think much of plans very long beforehand – Kind regards to all I know "and believe me always very truly yours A Lister" –

Had written the following 2 1/4 pages to M– [Mariana] just before being off to Lidgate –

"Shibden Hall – Monday 12 November 1832 

Mary! I have been late this morning, and have done nothing but see and speak to Marian, and breakfast, since reading your letter – It would be difficult to describe the effect it has upon me – It is many months since I have basked beneath the beam of happiness, and without courage to think of the past, or hope to calculate the future, I am attempting to answer your letter –

Your account of yourself unnerves me – I grieve over your leaving Lawton, and tho’ I could, and would, see good in your going to Leamington, if you would let me, I am now uneasy at the thought, and little out of sorts than you can be – The only thing I rest upon, is the manner in which you mention coming here for a few days –

It makes me fancy, nay almost hope, my scheme is not quite impossible – You would have been agreeably surprised, and satisfied to hear what Marian said about it – Say I am not well (God knows I am sick enough at heart) or, which is true, that I am in great perplexity, or that my aunt is poorly (tho’ she is very much better, and probably in no danger) or say what you please, but lose no time in coming to me for at least a few days –

I really do want to see you – I will take the carriage and meet you at Manchester – Do pray make an exertion and get off – At any rate, answer my letter by the second post after you receive it, and tell me if you cannot come off immediately – Nothing like the spur of the moment –

You will get my letter tomorrow afternoon – and, if your answer is off on Wednesday morning, at night on that day I may hear whether I may be off for you on Thursday or Friday morning at seven, or not – Bring merely a few things and yourself – I will take care of you from and to Manchester –

You will see from my manner of writing, that I am not likely to relax my interest while it is yet necessary to your happiness – Your pages of Saturday make me fancy, I may have been mistaken, and that, in the bitterness of disappointment and regret, I may have miscalculated what it was my interest and desire to estimate most correctly 

This here written after dinner –

It is needless to write more – I shall anxiously and impatiently wait your answer – I would give worlds to hear of your being in better health and spirits – I had a letter from Eugénie last night – I consider her engaged; and she is to wait my orders till January –

I cannot enter upon the subject of my friend, as my aunt and sister laugh and call her – I am too much thinking of the interests of other days – Come if you can – You might be almost ride over to Manchester –

But cheer up, my dearest Mary – Time was when I had power to charm you into pleasure-stirring thought, and almost into happiness – I am what I was – And yet this power is gone, – Parted like Aynt never to return? 

God bless you! The heart knoweth its own bitterness – ’Tis harder than you think to break the spell of twenty years – Entirely and very especially yours AL –

Sent off at 8 by John my letter to Miss Maclean of Coll, Coll house Aros North Britain and my letter to Mrs. Lawton Lawton Hall, Lawton, Cheshire and my letter to the “Reverend T. Ainsowrth, at Miss Bentley’s, 1 crescent, Salford, Manchester”

George Robinson then came and staid till 9 – Said Ramsden, now the constable of H–x [Halifax], bought the last ground sold adjoining my Northgate land at 11/6 [shillings/pence] a yard – and Stancliffe bought his ground fronting into Broad street the street given at 12 /. [shillings] or 12/6 [shillings/pence] a yard but then it was cleared, or sunk down ready for building –

Had seen Bates of Washer Lane who said that I might build a good corn mill at Mytholm with saw and goit and wheel and machinery for £1500 and might have 7 to 7 1/2 percent for my money tho’ people in general did not look for much for their money now – 

Some man (Brook?) of Brighouse is letting a mill had 10 percent on his money for the 1st ten years, and then 5 percent rent afterwards – The Embargo on Dutch vessels has already made a great difference – Has stopt the German trade –

Went into the other room for 1/2 hour till 9 1/2 – π [Mariana] thought I might have gone from York to Langton 

"Is it Miss Walker of Crow Nest with whom you seem so suddenly to have formed an alliance? You mention her twice as "my friend" and as you were not wont to bestow this title lightly I am puzzled to unders[t]and, not having ever heard you mention her name,  how Miss W[alker] has so quickly succeeded in adding herself to the list so designated.

You say, "I shall be glad to hear your friend was etc. etc." I am glad to hear anything that gives you pleasure, and so far shall be pleased to hear all possible good of Miss Walker, but as I don't remember ever having seen her. 

She must be satisfied with secondhand interest for I cannot fancy her at all one of those who could herself awaken it. So far as her better health can contribute to your comfort, I rejoice that it is likely to improve and hope by this time she has somewhat recovered the loss of her particular friend" –

You say ‘I always tell you how much better Mr. Lawton is,’ because you always ask me. In bodily health he is certainly better than I have known him for years, but in mind and temper he is infinitely worse. As he improves I fall off, and I have been weak enough to fret and discomfort myself about this Leamington plan until I have almost made myself ill –

M– [Mariana] in very bad spirits about going to Leamington – "and if I could get to you, I should come for consolation" – Should be glad to spend a few days with me but does not know how it can be managed –

Watson more philosophical than π [Mariana], thinks she shall get all her mistresses things off to a place of safety   

"Made my will the other day, and told Watson where to find it – I do not fancy, my dearest Fred, that my health or happiness will claim your attention 20 years longer, so dont relax your interest while it is yet necessary to my happiness. I live in so much discomfort that it cannot be expected that I should covet living forever”

Concludes with 

God bless you Fred. Whatever I have said or may say, trust me, there is not much warmer affection bestowed upon you than that which flows from the heart of yours, very entirely, Mariana –

Poor π [Mariana].

Vide line 4 of today –  The following is Miss W[alker]s note

I have received a letter, which you shall see, but we must meet on different terms. Oh that I had taken you at your word last Monday, and as you said finished the matter on that day.  I should then have spared you this additional bitterness. 

I did hope when my word was once given to you that I should have felt at rest and satisfied, but in reflecting on all you have said and trying to turn it to my own advantage   I cannot satisfy my conscience, and with such sufferings as I have endured since Wednesday, I feel I could not make you happy. That I should only bring misery upon you,   for misery I am sure it would be to you to see me in the state I have been in for several days.

It was this sort of wretchedness that was expressed in my note on Friday. It was these miserable feelings that prompted my request

(that is I suppose for me not to send to York for the ring)

For your own sake, fly whilst it is yet in your power, 

(I smile as I copy this sentence)  

and believe that I will never intrude myself in any way upon you (unless it is your wish) whenever you revisit the neighbourhood. 

Nov[embe]r 12 eighteen hundred and 32 writton [written] on the outside of this half sheet but under cover,

Read this alone

–

Off I set. Found her twenty minutes ago returned from Cliff hill and lying on the bed in tears. Kissed and soothed her till in a few minutes she went down to dinner. I remained in her room a little while read overMr. Ainsworth’s letter pathetic appeal to her feelings, making sure that she must be engaged and hoping that her choice would do all he, Mr. A[insworth], had hoped to have done.

Begging her to take the scrapbook as a friend and to condescend  to write in answer to say if he might send the book and a narrative of himself. And if this business should be the death of him, he would only pray for blessings on her. But much bad tact and the whole ill done, tho better than I expected. 

I went down before dinner was over. Agreeablized and amused both Miss Parkhill and Miss W[alker]. Then pretending business letters for Miss W[alker] to answer, Miss P[arkhill] left us, and I talked the poor girl into admiration of my conduct and into thorough approbation of my writing and sending (I wrote there and shewed it to her) the following to Mr. Ainsworth,

Lightcliffe Mon[day] 12 November eighteen hundred and 32. 

Sir, I am commissioned by Miss Walker to acknowledge immediately the receipt of your letter of Saturday and to inform you that she has given me for the future, at least for some time to come, the surveillance of all her letters and parcels.

I am Sir your obedient servant, Anne Lister

Before writing I had asked if it was her heart that had changed towards Mr. A[insworth]. No, it was all her conscience. She owned she was not in a fit state to judge fairly and tho she had felt great affection for him, yet she did not know how it was, now all seemed dead. And if she felt at liberty, she did not know or think he was quite the man she should choose, in spite of the two great things, his being a clergyman and liking to live at Cliff hill. 

‘Well, but what would you have done had I not been here?’ She said she would certainly have exone[ra]ted herself now. Would have gone to her aunt Ploughs in London and then brought down the Chapmans with her. She would not have been alone and would have kept out of the way and done the best she could.

This, said I, is enough. In answer to her note said I did not think her at liberty to marry anyone without my consent, in which she agreed, and that Wednesday had given me a power over her which I was determined to use in her service. She would be better by and by and more able to judge for herself, and then she might try again, but now I should not let her.

She might safely trust to my honour, but I pledged myself to nothing. She brightened up and owned how much better she was. I even brought away, with her full consent, and A[insworth]’s letter, and the book of prayers he gave her with a long rigmarole written on one of the flyleaves promising to get her another of the same from London, and on asking for my dirty night things to bring back she said no till I promised to send clean ones, and we parted very good friends. 

She agreeing with me that she had reason to be thankful for the great event of Wednesday – Who could have anticipated such a result as the consequence of her note?  She likes me. But my affections are not so fearfully and I irretrievably hers as she thinks, and I shall manage well enough, tho I really will do her all the good I can –

Writing the above till 11 – Came to my room at 11 20/.. and then wrote note to Mrs. Holroyde

“Mr. T. Holroyde Esquire Solicitor Halifax” in answer respecting the land at Northgate – Not in any way anxious to sell, but would sell lot A as marked in the plan if his client would give my price – But before naming any terms I wished to know what sort of buildings it was proposed to erect –

Wrote to desire Booth to get me Gilpins practical hints on Landscape gardening and theform of family prayers published by Hatchard and Son Piccadilly London 8 edition 1828. 12mo. [duodecimo] pages 159 and 2 bottles of Albin and Chapman’s chemical writing ink – 

Did my clothes for the wash. Very fine November day – Fahrenheit 49º now at 11 40/.. – Sent off my note written last night to Mr. Holroyde –

[in margin] vide line 12 page 286

nothing like the spur of the moment

very fine November day

[anne-lister-adventures]

Tuesday, 11 March 1840

8 25/’’

2 3/4

Fine morning another thorough wash in spite of circumstances – Had piled all portmanteaus against one door and set our table against the other and made a screen of 2 chairs with our clothes just beginning to dress when their curiosity could hold out no longer and they gently opened our folding doors and peeped in at these and the windows till we sat down to breakfast at 8 55/’’ and afterwards at intervals – Reaumur 10 1/4º in our room at 8 50/’’ a.m. – In fact, children or grown people stood looking at us all the time we staid – 

Seeing the master of the house among the gazers asked him in – George had brought us some brick-tea to look at – It is (said the Master) in a cake one half archine (i.e. 14 in.[inches]) square = 4/80 – It seemed about 1/2 in.[inch] or more thick – Made up in China – Cheaper than the other tea ∴[therefore] the Cossacks here have lately began to drink it – They boil it up with milk, and salt, and butter – A piece about 2 in.[inches] long and not an in.[inch] broad he said would be enough to make 30 tasses – But they cannot take it now – It is their grand Carême – Encore 7 weeks of Carême and they are not allowed to take milk or butter - ∴[therefore] their fish is cooked with oil – 

Chinese brick tea (Image source).

2 Traineaux de Poste à 3 chevaux – A smallish Kibitka-body with merely a seat for the driver – And hay in the bottom on which A-[Ann] and I had one of our mattresses to sit on – Our Courier and George followed in the other Traineau – 

Off at 10 10/’’ – We put on our Chalats (Shubes) over our fur cloaks – My Sarepta night-cap under my dark blue cloth waddled Jupp travelling cap, and my fur cloak collar pulled up to my eyes, and over all this my black satin much waddled pink satin lined Moscow bonnet tied tight down – After setting off, tied my pocket handkerchief over the bonnet to keep all tighter and pulled up my Shube collar which came up as high as the top of my head – A sheaf of hay to cover our feet – I had had hardly a peep-hole – But it was no loss – So thick, we could scarce see a dozen yards ahead – My eyes being still tender were still not sufficiently guaranteed from the piercing north wind – (Or wind in our teeth but rather to the left for I have yet to learn whether we went North or South) pulled up the great pelerine of my Shube and throwing it up over my head against the wind, the wind kept it in its place, and I was comfortable afterwards – The wind was very cold and searching yet Gross tells me that at 10 1/2 (on our being gone) Reaumur stood only at -8º and the same at 6 this evening – It is always cold on the river and there seems to be an extra force of wind – Tho’ it is strong enough on the Steppes – I should think the village is not seen at any great distance nor even the church? 

At 11 40/’’ (in 1 1/2 hour) alighted at the Palace of the Prince – A comfortable 2 story high wood (board) Russian House in form of

each front having in the centre a 2 story 4 style portico or balcony the top finished in a pediment – And each end ditto ditto ditto – A row of tallish pyramidal poplars all trees I noticed near the house – 

8 or 10 steps up to the centre room in which a large green cloth covered billiard table – On the left a goodish dining room right the salon in which we sat, and then a room hung round with Circassian and other guns, pistols (so very handsome) and side arms, and a broad 4 or 5 ft.[feet] wide carpet-covered divan the whole breadth of the room under the 2 windows – 2 armoires with some China and cups and saucers, and a carpeted bench and this, if I mistake not, all the furniture – The salon carpeted – Sofa and large mahogany table in front of it, and chairs &c. 1/2 length picture in oil of the Emperor and Empress over the sofa – Poêle – Print of Temirazoff Governor General of Astrakhan – 

The belle soeur of the Prince and her daughter received us at the door – She in a green satin wadded Chalat with red chemise &c. underneath – And handsome high 4 cornered sable rimmed hat, the top full of waddling like the Moscow coachmen’s caps and girdled round with gold brocade – The daughter’s cap not bordered round the face with fur and rather different and she had a light printed cotton or muslin Chelat on – The lady very civil – Could not speak a word even of Russian but of the 4 men servants 2 could speak Russian that with George we got on very well – 

The Prince was at his prayers in the little chapel in the garden close behind the house – Prays from 5 to 9 a.m. and from 5 to 9 p.m. every day) – Not obliged by his religion to do so – But does it from inclination – Prays alone – Query – Is he studying? For he seems an intelligent man – According to their religion they should pray 3 times a day – Fast occasionally but then allowed milk and butter – No regular Sunday – But service 3 times a month – Every ten days – 

Perhaps it was 1/4 hour before he came – They say here he is 70 – If so, he is one of youngest looking men of his age I have ever seen – Remarkably good countenance – Good teeth – An agreeable good looking stoutish gentlemanly man – His manners easy and prepossessing – Moderately Mogul as to features – Might pass unremarked among Europeans – i.e. not remarked as one of another race – 

Prince Serebjab (right) with his brothers.

The lady decidedly the very type of mogul features – Very high broad cheek-bones – Very small eyes &c. complexion very difficult to express – Slightly copperish? The Prince more so – The girl Æt [aetatis] 14 less decidedly of mogul feature – The boy Æt [aetatis] 13 more so than his sister and was he slightly marked with small pox? Perhaps we shall see him again at Astrakhan – He has an older brother studying at Kazan where the Lord is a Mongol who is professor of Mongol – Coffee excellent 2 cups each soon after our arrival – Asked if we would not take something before going away and it was settled we were to dine – Had George all the while as interpreter – 

A Mongol Bible that is book of their religion – Their Bible – From Kazan brought for us to look at, on my inquiring about books in Mongol – Partly in Thibetan (the language of Thibet) and partly in Mongol – The latter read from top to bottom – And lines from left to right – The Thibetan in horizontal lines read from right to left – The grand Lamas (he pronounced it Lammās, with an S) the head of their religion – Buddist – Same as in China – And Chinese language same as Mongol, or the Mongols and Chinese understand one another – Mongol books to be bought at Kazan – But not at Astrakhan – 

The Prince descended from Tchinghis Khâna (Tchin-ghis Khâ-nah) in the 20th generation – 20 generations since – If George interpreted rightly but either his French or Russian or both serve him badly for he has apparently difficulty very often in understanding what is said as well as in translating it – Asked why his nephew was not called Ghinghis or if there was no one of this name – No! It would be a sin to call anyone after this great man – He was too great to have his name given unworthily – 

The Prince quite independent – Pays no tribute to the Emperor, but if called upon furnishes a regiment and defends the frontier – Is Colonel in the Russian Service – Commanded his regiment at Leipzig against Napoleon in 1813 – Wounded by a ball – Did not feel it much at the time – Soon healed and was well – But felt it (began to feel it) 2 years ago and now cannot bear to sit for long together on this account – Lost 1/2 his men at Leipzig – He had some archers there – No archers now – All armed now with gun, pistols, and pike à la Cossaque and clothed the same – He pronounced it Kassak – Find their own horses &c. &c. and the Emperor allowed pay during the campaign – Mongol for quiver = Cōlt-Tchăh and Noonoon = archer Pnash noonoon = archer – 

The Prince is very well with the people at the Cavcase but not with the Tartars of Boukharah, or others (It stuck me that Cōlt-Tchăh resembled Xoλxis the ancient name of the Valley of Koutais …..) about 200,000 Calmucks, the Prince a relation of our Prince here, went some time since to China – No news of them – perhaps they are taken as serfs? But I cannot depend upon George – 

The Emperor of China has an allowance made to him, and cannot do as he likes – Our Prince here much better off – Independent – Can do as he likes – Never stirs out of the house in winter – always lives in it but travels in summer – His brothers live in tents in summer – His brother for he has but one left – He about an hour from our arrival all ready (arrived at 11 40/’’) and we were off to the church – 

The Prince never quitting the house, his belle soeur took charge of us and a nice lively Russian window widow of an employé of the princes and he keeps her – The lady took me by the arm and seated herself by me in the small Traineau, and a larger with A-[Ann] and the widow and George followed – The Lady put her arm round me to hold me safe if there was any little jolt ∴[therefore] I regularly afterwards attached myself to her – Gave her my arm each time afterwards – Covered her gloveless hands (the Prince had a pair of nice light gloves lying on the table in the house) with my cloak, and we were very good speechless friends – The church may be about 1/4 mile from the house and near it and between it and the house the village – Partly Kibitkas partly goodish Russian wood (board) cottages – I could count about 100 Kibitkas (going and returning) – I observed 2 or 3 instances of their being smeared over with mud plaster and one or 2 instances of 2 tents joined by a sort of passage -  

As if these luxurious Calmucs wanted more room than their neighbours – In fact they are Russianizing – The Prince has a Russian Cuisinier – One of his people who has served an apprenticeship I suppose to a Russian – And George said he had one who had learnt cooking in Paris served an apprenticeship there (George said) – The church built 15 years ago – The only Buddhist church in Russia – Planned by his brother who was killed at Warsaw – Brick, white plastered over – After the model of a Thibet temple – Looks exactly like Chinese –

The outer line a low brick wall with brick pillars and wood palisading – Right on entering a handsome new building not quite finished for priests to live in and for a clocher or its equivalent – No bells – Call to prays by one of the large and one of the small trumpets, Kengree-ga and Bēw-ě-răh – Left on entering a wooden (board, unpainted) house where the priests now live – The 2 circles on each side 2 tent-temples – With each its altar and appurtenances – Circular open 6 style A-[Ann] says 7 style wing portico on each (like Kazan church at St. P-[Petersburg]) wooden steps, several up to the large square tower, equivalent of clocher – 

The main temple. (Image Source)

The ground floor forming a vestibule the great and only entrance into the church and here our Princess left her hat, (the handsome cap before noticed) her black hair parted down the middle of her head and made into one long, case-enclosed braid on each side – The thundering music, the din of drum and trumpet commenced as we reached the steps – Vestibule – Nave – A side aisle of 3 arcades on each side – Over the end of nave a lower square tower to give light – And the apse, the sacrum sacrorum for the altar and its appurtenances – 

Khusheutovsky Khurul. Kalmyk temple. Astrakhan, South Russia city on Volga River (Image Source)

The Prince had ordered a grand service (their high mass) for us – 9 priests (left on entering) on one side and 7 on the other on their hams on carpets, and on the same side as the 9 at this end the 2 blowers of the big trumpets – Beginning at the top end (nearest the altar) vis à vis 2 priests with each a curious little bell besides him

Then 2 more priests the one on the right with a little wheat in a little silver cup (about the size of a lotus flower) standing before him – And the one left with a bell that he constantly rang – The head priest – Giving the lead to all the rest – the 2 little dots at the top the bells –

R.2 the chief priest – He and his neighbour next below him had each a pair of big cymbals and the 2d.[2nd] below him and the 2d.2nd from the top on the other side had each a pair of lesser cymbals – Then the 2 bottom men had each a lesser trumpet (with hautboy red) and the 4 on each side above them had each a drum – And the 2 outside R. had each a big trumpet – 8 drums, an 8 in.[inch] long segment of 20 in.[inches] diameter? cylinder called Keng-rēē-găh. 2 big trumpets 5 or 6 ft.[feet] long, Bew-ě-rah 2 little ditto Bish-Kŏor with a red mouth-piece like a hautboy – 2 great cymbals Tzong (Tzong) the hollow parts like little basins 2 lesser ditto Tzêanzin the hollow parts merely like soup plates –

The chief priest rang his bell, muttered a few words (prayers) then struck his cymbals loud and then laid them down ant struck them together on the cushion before him so that the sound was deadened as he did so did the other 3 cymbal men, and all the other instruments played all the time he played – The service lasted 1/2 hour – Besides the 16 + 2 big trumpeters, one man with pointed cap and lappeted in yellow stood at the bottom at a little distance facing the middle of the 2 rows of priests, and 2 other men in yellow with base clean shaved heads stood one on each side – In all 16 + 2 + 3 = 21 priests – 

The 18 musicians all in in a sort of robe de chambre like dress silk embroidered – Flowed rich silk – much worn – With pelerine shaped as if in remembrance of the lotus leaf?

Each wore a cap of long flowing 1/2 way down the back black silk tied at the top that is the cap finished tied up in 3 diminishing balls terminated in a little crown like ornament crown of 4 rays –

Reminding me of a flower – Whence also the fleur de lis of the Bourbons – And a Tiara, as it were of 5 petals surrounding the cap – Every cap had the same no.[number] of petals the white lily – the lotus has 5 petals – The dresses painted with lilies, lotuses, marigolds, (geums?), everything has reference to the lotus – 

At the annunciation the angel is generally painted with a white lily in his hand – The sticks that struck the drums, curious the shaft like a sceptre (constable’s staff a little sceptre) i.e. both ends top and bottom reminding one of a flower and something else – The symbol of power – The handle like a ceinture tho’ rather disguised winged idol – The head of the church and particularly near the altar hung round with Chinese like drawings of Indian deities – I carefully examined them but found the Budhist deity too much disguised to be traceable to an inexperienced eye – Yet it is at the bottom of all – 

The priests here draw – Paint – Do all the pictures – They understand – Our Princess and her nephew equally ignorant of the meaning of pictures – The people not admitted into the church – Stand outside – We were allowed to examine altar little brass images – All – Nothing evident – Little silver cup, (like lotus cups) of wheat and barley and oats mixed – And little cup of ice (eau benite – As if milk and water frozen) – And silver on tinsel flowers – Went into all the 7 tent-chapels 4 in the court and 3 rather larger outside it – An altar in each – The quantities of little brass or nice like Chinese images and pictures – A square pedestal stand on one side of 2 of their altars that the idol ought to be upon and a sort of sceptre in front of 2 of the altars, with a protuberance made to receive something – Inquired – George said a plate to hold the offering – Or what the priests ate – This column and its proper Budhist companion ought to be one on each side of each altar – 

At the doors of the 3 tents outside was a cylindrical bundle of reeds one on each side the door – This paganism is a curious remain of Antiquity – The exterior of the church is very Chinese –

The clocher is square and then 4 retiring squares up to the ball on which rests the needle and above that a little ball and crescent and a point springing from middle of crescent I have inadvertently put the black-painted crescent work at the top of the retiring grade instead of the bottom? The cornice under the roof is every where triangular, in diminishing –

A very pretty cornice ‘4 grades square to ball and sceptre and top and crescent and ball – 6 columns’ (2 rows of) in each circular colonnade on returning to the palace our Prince ready to receive us – Gave me a Mongol Grammar printed at Kazan in 1835 and wrote his name in it – He had before given me his name and the names of his 2 brothers and that of the wife (our Princess) of his 2d.[2nd] brother all the brothers equally Princes and Sovereign Princes – Our Prince Cerbedjab de Tumen his tribe Tumen, and calls his village here Tumen, had 50,000 sheep when winter began – Has lost 20,000 – Ten years since such a severe winter – Last year at this time there was grass for the cattle – 

Arrzha and liqueur glasses the precursor of dinner – The spirit tasted exactly like good Noyau – 1/2 and 1/2 mare’s and cow’s milk that of today sourish already (in 4 days, fermented and give once distilled yields the common Arrzha that we tasted and that still has sufficiently left of milk derived taste to let one find out its origin – This distilled 3 times and prepared with almonds yields the Arrzha like Noyau – Tchez-gan the Mongol name of Koumis – One may call Arrzha esprit du lait – 

Dinner 1st Eesh-Kessen (looking like a Russian shredded reddish cabbage) a plat of shredded mutton – Shredded like on cabbage salad at Sarepta – Very good – Next little beef olives à la Russe with gravy good – Then Sabac fish cutlets like those the other day en route but better cooked – Then blinnys in little rolls 2 in.[inches] long and 2 in.[inches] diameter and several folds – Rather too hard and not hot enough – 2 preserve orange peel in shreds and white currants – Declined Medoc and some other French wine drank a glass made from the grapes of his own garden (4 v.[versts] off) this year – A weak white odd tasted but not disagreeable wine – The water excellent – Tasted dessert of Persian almonds, 2 sorts – Then coffee – Excellent now and in the morning – From Astrakhan but from Moscow or St. P-[Petersburg] then tea – 2 cups each – excellent – The best I have tasted in Russia – 

Admired the lady’s cap – The Prince asked how long we should stay at A-[Astrakhan] if long enough would get me a cap made, and send it to me there – Said we should only stay 5 day glad to be handsomely off putting him to so much trouble &c. – He had asked for our name I wrote as under 

‘Madame Lister de Shibden Hall dans la Conté de York d’Angleterre, et Mademoiselle Walker de Cliff Hill das la même Conté, rendent mille graces à Monsieur le Prince Cerbedjab, Prince Souverain des Calmoucs de Tumen, - de son hospitalité et de touts ses politesses – Elles desirent pour lui et pour toute sa famille le plus grand bonheur – Mardi. 11 Mars (Nouveau Style) 1840’

George explained and the Prince seemed pleased – I had asked if anyone had sketched his church &c. – Yes! An Officer (a Serjeant said George) chez Colonel Balájaefski at Astrakhan, has sketched the Prince and his people and temple – Much pleased with our day chez le Prince – 

Thanked him thro’ George as well as we could – He had ordered a Traineau and pair and a Cossak mounted en courier to take us home because we should by this means go much quicker – True – The wild screams of our Cossack and his whipping on our Courier’s post horses (spite of the driver) and seizing them by the tail and thus urging them on and our driver, too, screaming and delighted at my laughing aloud – That us over the river like magic – At the Prince’s door and at our own at 6 21/’’ in 1 6/’’ hour! Gave the men each a Silver Rouble, and then on their asking for a written assurance that I was satisfied I told the Courier to write thanks and that we had come in 1 6/’’ and I then signed                  

A Lister de Shibden Hall

Tuesday 11 March 1840

And set aside this my arms – Tea – And we drank Sackville’s health &c. on his 8th birthday – All this over at 8 - Then till now 1 25/’’ wrote all the above of today – A-[Ann] writing by me – Very fine day but bitter cold wind to the left nearly in our faces, going – At our backs in returning and besides abated since morning – the ice often sounded as if the river would not be safe very much longer – Lay down at 2 3/4 a.m. –

[in the side of the page:]      Brick Tea

[in the side of the page:]      Cerdebjab Prince of Tumen

[in the side of the page:]      Grand Lamās

[in the side of the page:]      Chinese and Mongol languages nearly the same

[in the side of the page:]      Calmuck (Mongol, Buddhist) Temple at Tumen      

[in the side of the page:]      Buddhist priests’ caps &c.

[in the side of the page:]      Tumen from Soroglazinskaya                        13 versts

[in the side of the page:]      S-[Soroglazinskaya] from Astrakhan . .        90 1/2

 Page References: SH:7/ML/E/24/0040 and SH:7/ML/E/24/0041 and SH:7/ML/E/24/0042 and SH:7/ML/E/24/0043

[fmstevie]

              *    ╰              waddup   y’all   ruby’s   back   2   annoy   u   all   w   a   lil   british   fuckboi   action   .   here’s   stevie   ,   inspired   by   matty   healy   n   thinkin   she’s   a   god   among   men   .   i   don’t   recommend   u   read   on   but   in   case   u   do   i   pray   u   forgive   me   enough   2   want   plots   w   that   like   button   .   🤡

                new   york’s   very   own      𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄   ‘   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘   ’   𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄            was   spotted   on   broadway   street   in   doc   marten   smooth   leather   chelsea   boots      .   your   resemblance   to   diana   silvers   is   unreal   .   according   to   tmz   ,   you   just   had   your   twenty   -   second      birthday   bash   .   while   living   in   nyc   ,   you’ve   been   labeled   as   being         𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐬   ,   but   also   𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞   .   i   guess   being   a   cancer      explains   that   .   3   things   that   would   paint   a   better   picture   of   you   would   be      erudite   inclinations   informed   by   a   god   complex   ,      melodrama   as   your   magnum   opus   ,   &   the   world’s   most   secretive   love   life         .               (   i   had   a   secret   marriage   that   lasted   6   months   but   ended   due   to   my   fear   of   my   family’s   mafia   ties   getting   in   the   way   .         )      &      (   cis   female   &   she   /   her      )

𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆      :      stephanie   charlotte   greystone 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔      :            primarily   stevie   ,   although   her   stage   name   is   ‘   grey   ‘   which   has   caught   on   as   a   go-to   nickname   .   takes   little   to   nothing   else   wilingly 𝒂𝒈𝒆      :            twenty   -   two 𝒛𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒄      :      cancer    𝒐𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏      :      professional   musician   with   a   voiceclaim   of   lorde   ,   on   temporary   hiatus   to   write   grey3   .   casual   photographer 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓      𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒚      /      𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔      :      cis      female      /      she      her      hers 𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏      :      pansexual   w   strong   female   pref   but   tbh   if   u   can   handle   her   energy   she’ll   b   down   WKERWJER 𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕      :      5’10  🤤 𝒍𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒔      :      the   hedonist   ,         the      aesthete      ,      the      opaque   ,      the      vainglorious      ,      the      prodigy      ,      the      intangible   concept       𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈      𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒔      :      rhiannon      -      fleetwood   mac      /      WHAT   U   CALL   THAT      -      chase   atlantic    /      iceberg      -      borns      /      UGH      -         the      1975     /      boss   bitch      -      doja   cat      /      elephant      -      tame   impala     /      black   hole   sun      -      soundgarden      /      black   madonna      -      cage   the   elephant      /         this   charming   man      -      the   smiths     /      swim      -      chase   atlantic      /      1999   WILDFIRE         -      brockhampton

tw      drug   mention

𝒊.  𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

there   is   perhaps   no   more   a   formidable   surname   in   the   organized   crime   circuit   in   all   of   europe   than   greystone   ,   a   name   risen   to   fame   through   countless   court   cases   and   highly   publicized   trials   .   dubbed   ‘   el   chapo   of   the   old   world   ,   ‘   liam   greystone   makes   his   reputation   known   as   a   ruthless   and   conniving   leader   of   a   million   dollar   cartel   business   ,   distributing   to   most   of   the   UK   and   eastern   europe   .   it’s   perhaps   an   even   greater   shock   to   find   even   as   public   enemy   #1   ,   he   takes   a   welsh   wife   by   the   name   of   marissa   and   weds   her   in   a   lavish   and   very   public   ceremony   ,   surmounting   crowds   not   unlike   those   of   the   royal   weddings   .   such   a   decision   is   a   clear   power   move   on   his   part   ,   flexing   the   pure   influence   it   would   require   to   have   such   a   public   family   life   with   no   fear   of   repercussion   from   rivals   or   enemies   .   

it’s   several   months   following   their   wedding   that   james   is   born   ,   with   nicholas   taking   a   few   years   after   .   elite   prep   schools   in   the   most   posh   london   neighborhoods   were   abuzz   with   equal   parts   curiosity   and   concern   to   be   sharing   streets   with   the   most   feared   mafia   family   in   their   whole   country   ,   though   the   elite   nature   of   liam’s   new   societal   presence   meant   he   took   to   his   ‘   dealings   ‘   with   a   but   more   subtlety   than   before   his   rise   to   power   .   something   of   a   media   frenzy   ,   it’s   the   talk   of   the   town   when   marissa   falls   pregnant   another   time   ,   nearly   a   decade   after   nicholas’s   birth   ,   this   time   with   a   baby   girl   ,   something   that’s   all   the   sun   and   mirror   can   seem   to   post   about   in   their   celebrity   tabloids   section   for   weeks   on   end   .   her   birth   raises   questions   of   immense   speculation   :   what   will   the   world   do   with   a   greystone   girl   ?

as   it   would   result   ,   they’d   worship   her   .   stevie   found   herself   raised   in   a   world   that   sought   her   out   at   every   turn   ,   cameras   pointed   towards   her   at   every   outing   .   james   and   nick   ,   now   teens   by   the   time   she   enters   primary   and   just   as   big   of   terrors   as   their   father   ,   view   their   lavish   lifestyle   as   the   result   of   some   bigger   destiny   for   greatness   ,   as   their   father   had   always   fed   to   them   ,   something   they   passed   on   to   their   baby   sister   who   took   it   as   her   mantra   .   one   of   the   earliest   manifestations   of   a   rather   intense   personality   ,   stevie   takes   this   to   an   extreme   ,   turning   her   unwanted   stardom   into   a   fuel   for   an   ever-increasing   god   complex   to   develop   .   the   apple   of   her   father’s   eye   and   every   bit   as   quick   ,   her   instructors   note   a   dedication   to   perfection   and   an   obsession   with   accomplishment   ,   along   with   a   natural   intelligence   that   leads   her   to   blast   through   her   studies   with   relative   ease   .   

she’s   just   16   when   she   completes   her   schooling   and   already   has   a   reputation   that   will   precede   her   ,   just   as   her   surname   had   before   .   relaxed   and   observant   ,   her   voice   never   peaks   higher   than   a   low   alto   with   her   charming   londoner   drawl   ,   a   facade   never   cracking   from   her   knowing   poker   face   .   there’s   something   about   being   so   above   everyone   (   even   if   it   is   a   self-imposed   superiority   )   that   leads   stevie   all   but   to   the   brink   of   isolation   ,   finding   solace   only   in   the   words   of   a   self-deluded   father   and   her   own   scribings   in   a   leather   bound   notebook   .   piano   lessons   since   early   childhood   lend   themselves   to   melodies   following   melodies   ,   and   before   she’s   even   able   to   legally   drink   ,   she’s   released   her   first   album   under   the   moniker   ‘   grey   ’   titling   it   pure   heroine   as   a   cheeky   nod   to   the   inevitable   accusations   of   it   being   her   family   ties   that   got   her   a   record   deal   .   but   as   streams   of   the   melancholy   tunes   begin   to   pick   up   fans   worldwide   ,   the   album’s   themes   of   isolation   ,   abandonment   ,   and   wasted   youth   hit   harder   than   ever   anticipated   from   the   youngest   greystone   .   she   leaves   home   to   tour   the   world   with   the   album   reaching   #1   in   countless   countries   ,   forging   her   own   path   with   a   maturity   beyond   her   years   and   a   vision   beyond   this   world   .   

    the   tour   ends   and   she’s   smitten   by   the   charm   of   new   york   ,   opting   to   move   to   continue   to   pursue   her   music   away   from   the   tangled   complications   of   family   life   in   england   .   barely   18   and   perhaps   intoxicated   with   the   loneliness   of   a   life   spent   in   the   watching   eye   of   others   ,   the   semblance   of   privacy   is   something   she   takes   to   like   an   addict   ,   exasperating   prying   paparazzi   with   her   notorious   refusal   to   comment   on   details   of   her   personal   life   .   she   builds   a   wall   between   herself   and   the   world   ,   keeping   out   prying   eyes   with   a   tight   -   lipped   grin   .   its   at   this   time   that   she   lets   the   first   person   into   her   life   perhaps   ever   ,   a   whirlwind   romance   so   intoxicating   it   results   in   a   courthouse   marriage   done   in   secret   .   never   to   be   seen   together   ,   never   a   word   spoken   to   anyone   else   ,   stevie   relishes   in   the   secret   which   is   soon   to   sour   upon   the   passing   of   their   honeymoon   phase   .   with   her   brothers   expanding   their   reach   into   the   US   for   their   unsavory   dealings   ,   it’s   not   long   after   her   marriage   begins   that   the   conflicts   reach   a   breaking   point   ,   an   annulment   following   barely   6   months   after   they   had   traded   ‘   i   do’s   .   ’

she   takes   to   the   studio   with   a   new   resentment   of   the   concept   of   love   and   even   more   sequestered   heart   ,   producing   melodrama   which   takes   the   world   by   storm   ,   snagging   her   a   grammy   win   for   album   of   the   year   .   fatigued   from   the   constant   go-around   of   keeping   her   secrets   her   own   except   for   when   they’re   taken   to   radio   streams   ,   she   does   a   limited   tour   for   melodrama   and   lands   herself   right   back   in   new   york   at   20   ,   putting   grey3   on   the   backburner   as   she   takes   to   all   the   hedonistic   engagements   she   had   indulged   herself   in   during   her   time   on   tour   .   she’s   kept   herself   busy   between   mindless   flings   and   days-long   benders   with   hobbies   such   as   photography   and   writing   ,   the   former   of   which   is   building   her   a   rather   impressive   reputation   in   the   arts   world   .   

𝒊𝒊.  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 .

if   y’all   ain’t   tired   of   me   yet   god   bless   u   .   ..   .   bc   i   straight   up   b   tired   of   myself   :/

anyways   dis   is   stevie   ,   also   accepts   grey   the   same   way   ppl   talk   abt   lorde   n   switch   between   ella   n   lorde   !   she’s   not   picky   :~)

major   inspos   are   matty   healy   from   the   1975   n   hayley   kiyoko   if   she   was   less   of   a   try   hard   .   little   bit   of   kristen   stewart   in   there   ,   big   2016   ruby   rose   energy   n   brie   larson   top   me   tomfoolery   as   well   !   

basically   da   fuckboi   of   ur   dreams   ..      ..   .   lil   devilish   londoner   who   stays   thinkin   she’s   the   closest   thing   to   a   god   on   this   green   earth   !

notably   ,   she’s   incredibly   intelligent   and   profound   ,   tends   to   take   on   a   rather   patronizing   and   condescending   tone   bc   she   straight   up   b   thinkin   she’s   usually   the   smartest   person   in   the   room   (   how   annoying   )

so   laid   back   n   observant   ,   rlly   has   no   need   to   raise   her   voice   ever   bc   her   arguments   b   runnin   circles   around   ppl   !   imagine   the   way   harry   styles   talks   low   n   slow   n   calculated.   .   .   .   .   cameron   from   love   is   blind   ,.   ..   .      kristen   stewart   lowkey   sometimes   ..   ..   ..   das   grey   .    sexy   ass   alto   monotone  🤤🤤

i   dont   wanna   use   chaotic   bc   she   rlly   isnt   the   WILDEST   bitch   but   that   god   complex   means   she   deadass   thinks   she   can   get   away   w   what   she   wants   n   she   usually   does   ?   less   of   a   chaotic   evil   n   more   like   a   neutral   evil   lmao   she   can   follow   rules   just   fine   she   jsut   prefers   whatever   suits   her   better

on   that   note   —   OBSCENELY   self   obsessed   .   follows   her   own   natural   whims   n   impulses   bc   that’s   just   what   appeals   to   her   .   is   inclined   to   follow   rules   if   she   calculates   itll   work   in   her   favor   bc   she   also   doesn’t   like   to   look   sloppy   !

super   secretive   and   OBSESSED   w   her   presentation   .   every   movement   is   calculated   n   she   doesnt   want   anyone   seeing   a   side   of   her   that   she   hasn’t   designated   for   them   !   she   doesn’t   care   what   other   ppl   think   but   she   DOES   care   abt   what   she   sees   herself   doing   n   her   vision   .   doesnt   fit   the   vision   ?   will   NOT   happen   in   her   book   .

straight   up   a   WHORRE   lmao   she   likes   2   fill   the   void   left   by   a   lack   of   human   connection   w   sexual   intimacy   n   then   is   like   nice   imma   have   u   leave   now   love   LMAO   .   does   not   discriminate   and   is   rlly   inclined   to   follow   any   sexual   impulse

this   was   implied   but   her   relationships   are   super   messy   ?   does   the   leonardo   dicaprio   thing   where   she   will   never   fuckin   discuss   her   love   life   in   interviews   or   anything   so   ppl   just   gotta   SPECULATE   .   she   lets   ppl   post   all   they   want   abt   her   but   she   wont   say   a   WORD   abt   them   JWHEKJWH   her   socials   r   basically   just   abt   her   n   her  ��music   we   said   SELFISH   lads   .   she’s   bad   @   bein   tied   down   n   is   probs   polyamorous   as   it   stands   but   im   p   sure   she   has   cheated   on   every   single   person   she   has   ever   been   with   lmao

lowkey   a   shit   friend   most   of   the   time   lMAO   she   can   b   really   unreliable   bc   u   guys   can   have   plans   n   then   she   takes   someone   home   n   misses   yalls   plans   n   then   texts   u   4   hours   later   after   all   ur   missed   calls   n   is   like   my   bad   bruv   i   got   tied   up   AS   IF   THAT   FIXES   IT   KWEJKWJEKWE

chain   smoker   n   its   nastie   but   lowkey   sexy   somehow   :/  ,   will   ONLY   wear   outfits   that   r   equal   parts   thrifted   n   designer   ,   always   has   her   hands   in   her   pockets   n   if   her   jacket   has   a   hood   its   UP   like   a   big   ole   homo   ,   is   rlly   annoying   bc   shes   good   looking   n   KNOWS   it   so   she   uses   it   to   her   advantage   ,   wants   2   get   her   motorcycle   license   ,   judges   u   based   off   the   music   u   play   in   the   car   ,   judges   u   on   everything   tbh.

[46ten]

Ann(e) Willing Bingham and William Bingham

William Bingham was a prominent Philadelphia merchant and banker. From 1776 to 1780 he served as agent of the Continental Congress at Martinique and as consul at St. Pierre in the West Indies. He was a Federalist who various served as a member of the Continental Congress in 1787 and 1788 and a member of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives in 1790 and 1791. He served in the Pennsylvania Senate in 1794 and 1795, and from 1795 to 1801 he was a member of the United States Senate. Bingham was Founder and Director of the Bank of North America an Chairman of the committee of the board of directors of the Bank of the United States. He was also te first president of the Philadelphia and Lancaster Turnpike Corporation. He founded Binghamton, New York, and he owned large tracts of land in Pennsylvania and the District of Maine (part of which he had purchased from Henry and Lucy Knox). (To keen AH historians, Bingham was the person entrusted - or maybe not - with the Reynolds letters.)  

Anne Willing was the daughter of Thomas Willing, a prominent Philadelphia merchant and banker who was also President of the Bank of North America and Bank of the U.S. (In 1783, John B. Church was the second largest stockholder in the Bank of North America - AH asked Willing in 1790 to serve as Church’s attorney as his shares were being sold.) Both Thomas and William are counted among the wealthiest men in America in this period. Anne married William Bingham in 1780, shortly after her sixteenth birthday. She is sometimes referred to as the “uncrowned queen of the Republican court.” 

(I get a kick that her wedding ring seems to be a gimmel ring.) The Adams family supplies some of the best descriptions of her: 

“Mrs. Bingham is a very young Lady, not more than 20, very agreeable, and very handsome: rather too much given to the foibles of the Country for the mother of two Children, which she already is.” - Abigail Adams to Mercy Otis Warren, 5Sept1784

...Mrs. Bingham, who taken all together is the finest woman I ever saw. The intelligence of her countanance, or rather I ought to say animation, the Elegance of her form, and the affability of her Manners, converts you into admiration, and one has only to lament too much dissapation and frivolity of amusement, which has weand her from her Native Country; and given her a passion and thirst after all the Luxeries of Europe. - Abigail Adams to Mercy Otis Warren, 30Sept1785

Mr and Mrs Bingham arrived here about 3 weeks ago with a full determination to go out to America in March, but having as usual Spaired no pains to get introduced to the families of my Lord Landsdown and my Lady Lucans, they are so supreemly blest, that poor America looks like a bugbear to them. “O! now I know mr Bingham you wont go out this Spring. Give me but ten Years, and take all the rest of my Life.” Who can withstand flattery and admiration? What female mind young beautifull rich—must she not be more than woman if vanity was not the predominate passion? I accompanied her last thursday to Court and presented her both to the King and Queen, and I own I felt not a little proud of her. St James’s did not, and could not produce an other so fine woman. Yet it was the most crouded drawing Room I ever attended, except the late Birth Day. You know this Ladies taste in dress is truly elegant. She had prepaird herself in France for this occasion, and being more fleshy than I have seen her before, she is concequently handsomer than ever.

“She Shone a Goddess, and She moved a Queen.”

The various whispers which I heard round me, and the pressing of the Ladies to get a sight of her, was really curious, and must have added an attom to the old score, for she could not but see how attractive She was. Is she an American, is she an American, I heard frequently repeated? And even the Ladies were obliged to confess that she was truly an elegant woman. You have, said an English Lord to me, but whose name I knew not, one of the finest Ladies to present, that I ever saw. The Emperers Ambassador12 Whisperd your Pappa, sir your Country produces exceeding fine women.  Abigail Adams to John Q Adams, 16Feb1786

Madame B. shone away in all her splendor, her dress was that she wore last Winter black and Pink, and I have not seen so elegant a Woman, since I have been in England. A Gentlem[an] who sat next me at table Told me I was in Love with her. O it is true that I never see her without admiration in the highest degree.Abigail “Nabby” Adams to her brother John Quincy Adams, 22 January 1786 courtesy thelittlelionofvalleyforge

Anne W. Bingham died on May 11, 1801 in Bermuda, where she had gone with her family after failing to recover from childbirth (there’s some speculation she had contracted tuberculosis)..

I may associate with the preceding, the information of another loss, which our City has sustained by the death of Mrs: Bingham; of whose illness and long confinement you may have heard. After all hope of her recovery was given over by her Physicians, the last prescription they could give with a prospect of benefit or relief, was a voyage to some Southern climate. She was accordingly embarked on board a ship, accompanied by her husband daughter & Sister and a young Physician. The first effects of a change of air were very favorable & flattered her friends, that her case was less desperate than they had imagined; she sustained the voyage, however, very poorly, and survived her arrival at Bermudas, but three days. Mr: Bingham returned with the rest, a day or two ago & was the first to announce the fatal tidings to the family of his deceased lady, who, as you will readily suppose, are plunged, by this stroke of the fell destroyer, into the abyss of woe & grief. Mrs: Bingham is said to have borne her tedious illness with uncommon fortitude, & when hope had utterly forsaken her own bosom, she displayed a perfect example of resignation.  Thomas Bolyston Adams to AA, 31May1801

I had learnt before, by the public papers, the death of mrs Bingham and many have been my reflection[s] upon it. Health presuming, Beauty Blooming, ah how dreadfull tis to dye,” Says fair Rossomond; that Mrs Bingham was one of the most Elegant, and highly accomplishd women, our Country has furnished, no one who knew her, will deny. to a fine form, was added an affability of address, and an ease of manners, which prepossesst and captivated all who approachd her. She had travelled, and obtained the high polish of the Beau Mond; but her conduct in many respects did not accord with my Ideas of female worth, delicacy and purity. She did not Sufficiently respect herself, nor the opinion of the world; particuliarly <, Start deletion,that, End,> those of her own Country.She was culpable in a latitude of Manners, and in introducing a mode of dress which as a Mother, she ought not to have permitted in her daughters—If I have any knowledge of human nature, the Stile of dress introduced by her, and copied by her daughters, has a direct tendency to seduce the unwary; to Create inflammatory passions, and call forth lose affections by unfolding to every Eye, what the veil of Modesty ought to Shield; and the mantle of fashion ought to cover; it originated with Harlots, and should not have betrayed a modest woman into the Snare; the concequences have been Seen in her own Family, and are of too recent a date, to need relating—Mrs Binghams Family, Fortune, Beauty and accomplishments gave her a lead in Society, and her influence extended far beyond the bounds of Your City: Was that influence employd in the various Services of virtue, was it excercised in confirming and prolonging the duration of virtuous affections, in a simplicity of Manners, or in a latitude which gave occasion for censure, and which approached so near the verge of crimminality, as to be evil spoken of. Chastity when founded on the firm basis of pure virtue, holds forth to the Eye of the most artfull the repulsive evidence of impregnable Security, which can awe the most dissolute into respect and admiration—and as the poet expressess it, She that hath that, is clad in compleat Steel”That Mrs Bingham had many amiable qualities I well know. her Friends, Relatives and domesticks can bear witness to them. With them I sympathize; by them her loss must be keenly felt—The worthy old Lady, whose children rise up and call her blessed, and whose remains you lately attended to the grave, has left a Character much more worthy imitation; <, Start deletion,whatsoever, End,> and an example of whatsoever things were just whatsoever things were honest, whatsoever things were pure, whatsoever things were lovely, whatsoever things were of good report, and if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Abigail Adams writing about Anne Bingham to Thomas Boylston Adams, 12June1801

After her death, William Bingham sailed for England in August 1801, with their daughter, Ann, and her husband, Alexander Baring. Baring, the son of Sir Francis Baring, was the agent for the House of Baring in the United States from 1795 to 1801.

William Jackson, that close friend of AH’s, resigned as GW’s secretary in December 1791 (see GW to Jackson, 26 Dec.), he was employed by William Bingham as his land agent. Jackson successfully courted Elizabeth Willing (1768-1858), the youngest sister of Anne’s. Elizabeth was the youngest of thirteen children of Thomas Willing. Jackson did not marry Elizabeth Willing until 11 Nov. 1795, after his return from Europe as William Bingham’s agent. GW and Martha Washington definitely attended their wedding (it’s in his diaries), and some articles say the Hamiltons did too, but that doesn’t make sense to me - AH seems to be in NYC. (Yet another of AH’s friends getting married surprisingly late.)

[lunanight2012]

Descendants 2 with Harry Hook x Cindy Luna Charming

Just a heads up, this version of Cindy is a bit of a sad one, Chad doesn’t care about her, her mother is the only one that cares about her, her only friends are the vks.

warning: rape almost happens

I couldn't believe Mal went back to the Isle! Of course I went with them to go get back Mal. I had grown close to all the Vks. And of course Eveie had made me an Isle outfit. Light blue leather. Never realized how much I loved it.

We stood outside of the hide out. I was pacing, waiting for Ben to come back down. I took a look down the path we came from and saw a red scarf fluttering against a board. I headed down the path, taking the scarf in my hands, freeing it from its trap in the wood. Suddenly a cloth was put over my mouth, silencing my screams.

"Take er to the ship, we'll grab the king. This princess might come in handy." A scottish voice spoke. 

I couldn't see anything as I was gagged,  blindfolded, and had my arms tied behind me, but I could feel the cold metal from what I could assume was a hook, which both scared me and…. Thrilled me.

"This one is mine." The Scottish voice stated, close to my ears, causing me to shudder.

I was suddenly thrown over someone's shoulder and was carried away. The rotting smell of the Isles waters smacked me in the face. I felt myself being carried onto a ship and brought down some rickety steps before being thrown onto the wooden floor, my blindfold being roughly torn off my face but the gagged remained.

A man in black pirate getup cackled from the other side of the bars of my cell. "I can't wait to see what Harry does to ya." He exclaimed before walking away.

That was the last straw, I scooted over to the farthest corner and cried into my knees. I was scared. I began to shake from fear when I heard a commotion uptop. They were keeping Ben upstairs.

I began to shake even more. Especially when slow footsteps sounded at the stairs. 

"Well well well…. Damn it Bonnie! He was supposta leave ya in my room unharmed!" The scottish voice growls as he enters my cell and walks towards me.

I cower in fear, shaking with fear.

"Hey, lassie, it's ok. I'm not gunna hurt ya." He explained in a softer tone.

I slowly looked up at him and allowed him to remove the gag from my mouth.

"W-what do you want with me?"  I finally managed to get out after he walked me to his cabin and had me sit on his bed.

"To know ye a bit more." He explained as he rummaged through his drawers.

"Why?" I asked looking down at my lap.

"Because Luna, I have been watchin ya on the tele. And I think ye are amazin." He stated before smiling as he turned around, holding a bandaid in his hand.

"R-really?" I stuttered with a blush as he placed the bandaid on a cut I didn't even know I had on my cheek.

"There ye go. Oh wait let me free yer hands." He exclaimed, cutting the rope that tied my hands together.

I rubbed my wrists a bit before setting them in my lap. 

"May I ask what your name is then, since you know mine?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Harry Hook." He introduced with a slight bow.

"Harry! Uma's lookin for ya!" Another voice called through the door. I recognized it as the son of Gaston.

"I shall be right back my lovely." He bowed again before quickly leaving the room, locking it behind him.

Whether that was for my safety or not was beyond me. I was still slightly scared. I knew the group wasn't going to risk rescuing me. What was the point. Ben was more important. He was the king after all.

I was the youngest of Cinderella's kids, only by a few minutes but still.

The VKs were my friends. But even if I was them I would leave me behind too. Maybe Chad will get over it. My parents certainly will. Momma might miss me but papa and Grandfather always wished I was more proper and ladylike. They wouldn't miss me….

I began to scratch at my arm, something I did when I was sad, anxious, or worried.

I heard a noise and quickly hid in the corner, scratching my arm worse and trying to make myself seem small.

I heard fighting up on top of the deck, I looked out the window and saw a hook go underwater then Harry diving in after it. My scratching became worse the moment the fighting stopped.

My arm was on the verge of showing more muscle than skin at this point. I heard footsteps stop at the door and I could feel myself shaking in fear as my scratching stopped.

The door opened to reveal a very wet, very annoyed Harry. He went wide-eyed when he didn't see me where I was when he left.

"Luna??" He asked worried.

I made a sort of squeak noise which drew him to the corner that I was huddled in. He noticed my arm and frowned, helping me to sit back up on his bed he rummaged through his stuff again. 

"How did ye get hurt? I made sure no one would hurt ye." Harry grumbled as he continued looking for bandages.

"I-I did it to myself." I whispered, looking down in shame.

Harry stopped and looked at me. "What??" 

"I scratch when I'm scared, nervous, sad, worried….." I explained, expecting him to turn away in disgust, like almost everyone did when they found out about this horrible habit I had.

"Luna. That's something I'm gunna have to break ye of. Ye shouldn't feel that with me. I'm gunna protect ye, no matter what." He explained before going back to his search.

We stayed quiet as he found a good sized bandage, putting it on my wound. He stood back up and grabbed a dry pair of pirate clothes. 

"Imma go change in the chip shop I shall return shortly." Harry explained, leaving with a bow.

I sat on his bed, think about how Chad is gunna react when I'm not in my room….. or is he even gunna notice that I'm gone? The door handle began to turn and I looked up, expecting to see Harry.

Only for it to be who you presumed was Bonnie. "There you are lassie~~! I was wondering where Hook was hidin ya! You're coming with me~~!" Bonnie chuckled, grabbing my hurt arm roughly.

"H-Harry!!!! Help me!!!" I called out with tears in my eyes as I was forcibly dragged down the hall.

"He can't hear ya lassie, he's not even on the ship! Which means I get to have some fun!" 

You were pushed onto a horribly stinky bed to which I tried to climb off of, only to be slammed back onto with my hands trapped above my head.

This Bonnie guy was kissing my neck, I started to cry as I felt him reach his hand up my skirt. No no no no! Please no!

"Oh, lassies a virgin. All the better~~!" 

"Harry!!!! Help me~~~!" I cried, squeezing my eyes shut as I braced myself for more unwatiled touching. 

It never came. I opened my eyes to see a hook at Bonnie's throat.

"Ye are gunna let me girl go or I'll make sure ye are swimmin with the fishes!" Harry threatened.

Bonnie released me and moved away, I scrambled to get up and hid behind Harry, shaking like a leaf. He held me close and walked me out of the room.

"I'm takin ye somewhere safer than here." He explained, taking my hand and running with me out of the docks and to a familiar place.

"Mal's hangout?" I asked, looking at him curiously.

"Yea. I dropped a hint to Jay about findin ya here." Harry admitted.

"Ye'll be safer back in Boredon then here." He stated, throwing a rock at the sign, causing the door to open.

"Go on." He gestured.

"First… tell me one thing about yourself.." i stated.

"Huh?"

"You wanted to get to know me, well first you have to tell me something about you."

"Oh um well, I'm the son of Captain Hook, the drunkest pirate in all the land, he even beats Captain Jack Sparrow in that." Harry frowned.

"I'm the daughter of Cinderella and Prince Charming, I am the youngest twin. My full name is Cindy Luna Charming. My father and Grandfather don't care about me. I have 4 friends, Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos…. And now you!" I smiled and kissed Harry's cheek before quickly running up the steps. I whistled at Harry and dropped the light blue scarf I had rescued.

"A gift from me to you." I said with a wink.

20 minutes later, Jay rushed into the hideout to see me spray painting my own design onto the wall.

"Luna~~!" Jay whistled, causing me to jump.

"Jay!" I exclaimed, hugging him.

"Come on, we've gotta get you ready for cotillion." He exclaimed.

We headed through the barrier, I couldn't help but look back, wishing I could see Harry again.

~~~~~~Cotillion~~~~~~

Of course Chad didn't even notice I was gone. He was too busy using Carlos and Jay's 3D printer. And then I learned he ran off to go help Audrey? Yea so I went to Cotillion alone. Kinda sucked but I smiled as the cameras took my picture on my way into the party. My dress looked just like my mom's old dress that her step  sisters destroyed. I walked onto the ship and went straight to Jay.

"Hey Jay… I have a question." I stated, looking up at him.

"Whats up Luna?" He stated smiling down at me.

"D-do you think that if Mal goes back that you can take me with her?" I asked hopeful.

Jarly lifted in eyebrow in curiosity. "Why? The Isle is dangerous! You almost got hurt!" Jay stated, keeping his voice low.

"I don't care. I left someone back there who deserves a chance at this life." I stated, looking back at the Isle.

Soon Lumiere announced Mal's arrival. Looking back at her I smiled at how pretty she looked. Although those colors didn't really match her style.

I walked over to where the VKs were and smiled at Mal. Ben's arrival was announced and stuff went down hill.

Uma had arrived. At least I'm assuming that was Uma. 

~~~~~The Chip Shop~~~~~~~

~~~~~~3rd Person POV~~~~~

Harry watched the crappy tv as Uma appeared. Smirking as he knew what her plan was. Suddenly the camera panned to the VKs, and Luna. Oh did she look amazing.

"Hey ain't that the lass that Harry had?" One of the crew questioned.

Harry grabbed his hook and pointed at their neck. "Ye best shut yer mouth right now!" Harry threatened.

He went back to his seat and watched as Ben announced that Uma was going to be his Lady of the Court and that he was going to take down the barrier.

"Maties, WE RIDE WITH THE TIDE!" He exclaimed and the crew cheered.

~~~~~Cotillion~~~~~~

~~~~~Luna's POV~~~

I couldn't believe it. Uma spelled Ben. Everything seemed to be a blur. Mal broke the spell, Uma jumped overboard and became an octopus person. Then blackness.

~~~~~3rd person POV~~~~~

Evie shouted when she saw Luna get smack and knocked unconscious by Uma's tentacles. Mal got mad and turned into a dragon, and well you know how the fight went.

Uma gave Ben back his ring before diving under the water.

Luna finally woke up, sad that everything was done and that the barrier wasn't actually coming down. So she left to go sulk in her room.

~~~~Chip Shop~~~~~~~

Harry frowned as he realized he wouldn't be free. He wouldn't get to see Luna. He frowned and tied her scarf around his neck before sauntering home.

He walked across the ship, whistling a tune. Suddenly stopping he walks towards the camera. “What? Ye didn’t think that was the end of the story did ye?” He asked, rubbing his hook across his face before walking away, whistling the pirate’s life song.

[tanyuu]

end-eavor

Hi! This is my first article-style theory. It’s obviously not like an actual article, you can tell by the deteriorating quality and fact that I used my own headcanons in place of canon information, but I’d just really love to see an article written by a sleep-deprived reporter bashing Endeavor.

 That’s… all this is. It’s just a 7-page rant on why Endeavor is a terrible parent. And then it quickly dissolves into a theory on why Dabi is Todoroki Touya, so… good luck.

 The reporter who writes this (Ella) is me! I’m not actually a reporter or writer at all, but I work around books. So. I’m gonna call bullshit on myself and get INTO THIS!

  YEEHAW!

 Todoroki Enji, also known as Endeavor (#1 in PHR, but #-7,000,000 in our hearts), has at least three children. They are known as Todoroki Natsuo, Todoroki Fuyumi, and Todoroki Shouto. Shouto has been in the public eye for a while now, especially after he was accepted by recommendation into UA.

Shouto was confirmed to be previously the victim of an act of domestic violence. His well-known facial scar (over his left eye), covers a quarter of his face. The cause was confirmed to be his mother's unstable and rapidly declining mental health.

All three of the Todoroki children released statements in the following years to plead their mother as not guilty (and worthy of single custody.) Endeavor harshly refused these claims, and insisted that their mother had endangered his children. (though he did not call Shouto his child. the term used was 'masterpiece,' which implies... certain things.)

In all fairness, Endeavor's stance on the topic is expected. The safety of your children is important. It's a touchy subject though, so all you need to know is this:

 - Rei Todoroki (ice quirk), mother to the Todoroki children, poured boiling water onto her youngest child (Shouto)'s face.

- The cause was deteriorating mental health, but the cause of said mental state has not been released. Ever.

- Endeavor has potentially harmful opinions regarding his children, as well as near POSSESSIVE qualities with and to his youngest child.

Moving on.

Todoroki Natuso (quirkless), has cut ties with his father, for unknown reasons. Speculators and theorists claim that his father MADE him, as to not interfere with Shouto's "training."

He is now working as a doctor near Shizuoka Prefecture, and has saved many lives. His sister and brother are very proud of him. (and we bet his mother is, too)

Todoroki Fuyumi (sparking ice quirk) works as a preschool teacher. Though Natsuo moved out of Endeavor's "estate" (look up the square footage. we DARE you), Fuyumi has not. According to THIS (link) article, she will not until Shouto has graduated from UA. When prompted, she gave no answer.

Now, you're probably wondering: "Hey, Ella? If there's some kind of scandal, why don't you just go right out and say what you think is going on?"

That's the fun part! I legally CAN'T. Todoroki Enji (Endeavor, your #1 PUBLIC HERO) has ordered that no reporters are allowed to comment on 'how he runs his family.' And honestly, I value my job just a LITTLE too much to run the risk of the Hellflame's wrath.

Onwards, I suppose. And time for some (LEGAL) speculation.

If you recall, I mentioned how there are three confirmed children. That's because (and i did some actual digging here) there are FOUR legitimate Todoroki children.

Does anyone else remember the sports festival 6 years ago? The kid who had a CRAZY blue fire quirk? And then there's the fact that five-ish years ago, all of the footage from the semi-finals was deleted. Almost all of it.

Now, (I say with a grimace, here) I found one photo, and anyone with an eye on the news regarding high-profile villains would recognize THOSE piercings.

Why am I bringing up this blue fire quirk kid, anyway? Blue fire, blue fire, blue fire.

Todoroki Enji, ENDEAVOR. THE NUMBER ONE HERO. Lied about his kids. I'm definitely losing my job now, so... might as well just go with this, I guess. How do I know this?

 We're familiar with Endeavor's ultra-move, the jet-stream style fire blast. He used it in the Hosu attack earlier this year, just before he captured the villain 'Stain.'

 What color is the fire in that crazy powerful attack? B L U E.

Sports Festival mystery kid? Blue fire, spiky RED HAIR, turquoise eyes. It's like... younger, amped-up Endeavor.

 I brought up piercings already, right?

 The boy from the sports festival (let's nickname him v2 for now, short for Version Two of Endeavor. because I would pay SO MUCH to see this kid kick Endeavor's ass. i'll be linking a kickstarter for that later, too) has four piercings on his ears, and a triangle of nose piercings on both sides of his nose.

 Blue fire, spiky hair, turquoise eyes, a FUCK TON of piercings, and just LOOK at this smirk: <IMAGE ATTACHED>.

Now, who does this remind anyone of?

The leader of the Vanguard Action Squad of the infamous League of Villains (LoV). The villain's name is 'Dabi,' which means 'Cremation.' Coincidentally, I looked up what v2's quirk was named. After a HELL of a lot of digging, I found both v2's name AND the name of his quirk.

 Cremation.

And as for the name, well, I'd like Endeavor's official and public reason for keeping his FIRST and OLDEST child out of the public eye.

Todoroki Touya.

What am I implying, here? That one of Endeavor's children became a villain? A high-profile villain, involved with the kidnapping of a minor and attempted murder of at least 19? A villain with a criminal record longer than Shiozaki Ibara’s hair?

I'll provide a list of reasons why I (personally, and definitely not free of bias) think there's way more going on in this picture. Thank you for reading this far, by the way. It really does mean a lot, especially considering that this will likely be the last thing I'll... ever write, at least professionally.

To answer my own question, I'm telling you that Todoroki Touya became the villain 'Dabi.'

Now for the REALLY fun part. Why on Earth would Touya even become a villain? And especially as one of the children of such a well-known (but, frankly, not well-liked) hero?

 I have a short list of reasons why this may have happened.

- Todoroki Enji kicked Touya out (reasons unknown, date unknown, all unconfirmed)

- Touya ran away (reason unconfirmed)

- Pressured by villains (honestly? unlikely)

But, drawing attention to the scar patterns on Dabi (Touya?)'s arms and face. It's a fire burn, but not a REGULAR fire burn. From the looks of it, it wasn’t caused by an external force (you can tell b/c of his fingers). But this implies that Dabi did it HIMSELF, which... is a whole new can of worms.

(I swear all of this is relevant. I'm just... speculating. Diligently.)

In order to do so much self-inflicted damage, you would need a few key things.

1) High pain tolerance. (30% of Dabi's skin is scar tissue. That's... a lot. Have you ever accidentally touched a flame? It hurts, and keeping it there would hurt a lot more. Doing something like that and holding the flame there requires a lot of control.)

2) A high sensitivity to your OWN quirk. Now, quirk biologists have talked about how people usually have a natural immunity to their own quirks, especially emitter-types. But, if Touya THEORETICALLY had a body made for an ICE QUIRK (see where I'm headed?), it would explain why he was so easily burned.

But why would he have such a pain tolerance? And especially... towards burns...?

 Well, I'll let you decide that one for yourself, there. I'm not allowed to talk about that, remember?

GREAT! We've answered some questions! (some meaning, like, two)

Now onto a Fun Part™! (It's not fun. Honestly, writing this makes me feel horrible. The things pro heroes cover up, no kids should EVER go through ANY of what I'm writing about.)

So far, Enji's been in the wrong... probably 80% of the time? Some of it (20%) can be marked down as 'concerned parent,' but the rest... yeah.

Anyway! Let's address a concerning topic. There are a few things I'm going to be talking back and going back to QUITE a bit:

- Shouto's refusal to use his fire in the Sports Festival last year (earlier this year? time is a concept, and i'm not familiar with it)

- The difference in personality with the Todoroki trio. (i'd say quartet, but my boss says i'm not allowed to interview a villain, and also. all of these. are still speculation. please pay me)

- How Endeavor (#1 hero. i keep bringing that up just to reiterate who exactly is the current face of the hero world and WHY THE FUCK IS HE STILL TH-) addresses his children

Where were we again? Let me check.

Oh yeah, before I start yelling about Enji being a piece of shit, I'm going to say a few things about myself. This article is very unorthodox, and I shouldn't... technically do this? BUT I'm already gonna lose my job! So, onwards and upwards, y’all:

- My name is Ella.

- I work for a really well-known (and lovely) publishing company, as a writer and editor.

- I get paid XXXXX a year. Which is okay, and better than some other companies, but I'm still... not getting anything out of this, so you can't say I was paid to write this. If anything, I'm LOSING money by writing this. (but i'm in too deep to stop now, so...)

- My hands hurt a lot from writing this. I've written it all in about an hour, but the research has taken me WEEKS. W E E K S, I TELL YOU-

 Todoroki Shouto (15, Half-Cold Half-Hot emitter quirk, aptly named) is a student at UA. He is in class 1-A, the Hero Course. He's been involved with many mainstream villain attacks, such as the USJ invasion, the Stain + Hosu event, and All Might's last stand.

 Shouto's personality can be seen as cold and standoffish, and the media likes to depict him as an aloof pretty boy. Please keep in mind, he's... been through a lot. And I'm speculating that he's been through more than anyone's actually THOUGHT about before. Kudos to him.

 In the Sports Festival in Shouto's first year, his fight with Midoriya Izuku was ALL OVER THE NEWS. The green haired “no bones about it” kid had gotten Todoroki "I'm not using half of my power" Shouto to use his fire. Nobody knows the exact content of the fight, but it's worth mentioning that Shouto smiled during it. Full-on GRINNED.

(the more i think about that... the sadder it is? kid didn't look like he’d smiled very much. ever, actually. WHY COULD THAT BE-)

 Speculation as to why Shouto didn't actually use his fire during the first events (and according to his classmates Asui Tsuyu and Kirishima Eijirou, he hadn't used it all YEAR. not even during the USJ invasion) was rampant through hero forums. Popular theories included:

- Shouto didn't want to one-up his classmates, so he restricted his power to make it fair. (which is understandable, but.... hon.... how likely is that. the damn MOTTO is ‘plus ultra’)

- Shouto was told not to by his father, and didn't, as some kind of rite of passage. (which is a whole NEW kind of 'what the fuck, enji' and i'm just. not touching that theory)

- My personal and biased favorite: Shouto was rebelling against his father after being pressured to surpass him and be even greater. (which, fair. honestly, any kind of intense pressure ESPECIALLY from a high-profile parent is stressful. take music lessons, for example! kids are gonna give up if they're forced to do shit! come ON, endeavor)

Endeavor (in MULTIPLE) interviews, has referred to Shouto as 'his masterpiece,' or 'his greatest work,' or other terrifying names. Honestly. Children aren't property, and although quirks are tossed around like clothes in a washing machine, their uses don't justify the treatment of their people. Especially with all the stigma surrounding "villainous" quirks. (WHICH IS BULLSHIT, OKAY? quirks aren't inherently villainous. sure, some are a little less flashy and virtuous, but fear is irrelevant! it's what you choose to do with what you have that matters. choices affect content of character, not predetermined morality)

BACK ON TOPIC. I'm not sorry. I feel like I could write a whole separate article on why villainous quirks don't actually exist? Should I? Hell yeah. I will, eventually.

Endeavor's blatant favoritism of Shouto is highlighted by the way he talks about his other children. By that, I'm referring to the fact that he outright DOESN'T. Not one WORD on Natsuo's confirmed cure for quirk burns. Not ONE WORD on Fuyumi's (SIX) teaching awards.

 And, most concerningly?

Endeavor has refused to allow Todoroki Rei to leave the mental hospital she was put into (10 YEARS AGO) although she's passed EVERY SINGLE examination. (fuck, i'm not allowed to talk about that. OH WELL if i go i'm going OUT)

 Shouto has affirmed that he doesn't want to work under his father, and will likely be joining a separate agency in the event of immediate hero work after graduation. He sort of implied that his father didn't know when to stop, but then left the interview.

"Didn't know when to stop? Stop what, Ella?" Remember how I mentioned some kind of 'training' way early into this? Mmm-hmm.

 I'm going to do some extreme hand-waving here. This is ALL speculation, and as of now it's ILLEGAL speculation.  

Back to Touya for a second. The records I found said that he won his match, but lost the semi-final due to intense quirk backlash. The time of the first match was INCREDIBLE. 

 6.3 seconds. Holy... SHIT.

(great job, touya! we're all really proud of you!)

Honestly! That's crazy! Record-breaking, even. Second only to... Shouto.

Second to Shouto. Maybe that's... not the first time Touya's heard that phrase.

Anyway. Training plays a role in this, because the difference in control between Shouto and Touya with fire is barely noticable. They both copy a move (left hand swing and then a full-fire short range blast) from each other. Well, maybe not from each-other.

Let's look into the Hosu fight. Endeavor uses a blue-fire jet-flame attack (can't remember if it has a name, only that it's INTENSE and I would NOT like to be on the receiving end of it), but later with the LoV's monsters (they're called 'noumu'), he uses a very familiar move.

 Left hand swing. Full-fire short range blast.

Only this time, there's no eye flinch or subtle shoulder tense. Only cold, hard, fury.

  What am I implying?

Well, I can't legally talk about THAT, now can I?

Thank you very much for reading this! I picked up this style from a few meta posts in other fandoms; the writer has access to information the reader does NOT, in this case the lack of canon information regarding Dabi’s background and/or schooling. I added headcanons:

-Natuso being quirkless

-Touya going to UA

-Touya being a badass (that’s not really a headcanon, though. he’s related to fuyumi. of course he’s gonna be a badass)

[liarsweapon]

LAYERS OF LOYALTY: THE LORDS AND THEIR TEAMs.

forgive me for not using icons i wanna change the border again bc i hate myself.

also lappy’s being weird again so thats fun.

Don’t rb without permission, thanks. This is primarily about my portrayals of the characters, and includes those that aren’t canon to the game. 8)

ALCINA

Alcina, next to Moreau, is the most loyal to Mother Miranda. Does in fact view her as an actual mother, though her viewpoint can be seen as more obsessive than just daughterly. As is clear, however, when her own daughters lives are put in question, she’ll betray her mother’s command in an instant in order to protect or avenge them. Her loyalty to Miranda is great, but her loyalty to the daughters Miranda gave her is far greater. 

BELA

Bela’s loyalty to Miranda falls directly on Alcina. Wanting to make her mother proud, and show devotion according to what she believes her mother would want, Bela’s loyalty to Miranda is, well, entirely based on Alcina. Alcina adores Miranda like a mother (and cult leader, as someone who has done excessively deep dives into cults they do manipulate you into believing the leader is your parent, leader, everything important to you... and often lover, but that doesn’t seem like something Miranda is interested in thankfully) thus, so does Bela. But if Alcina chose not to follow Miranda at any point, Bela’s loyalty would instantly die out as well.

CASSANDRA

Cassandra’s loyalty to Miranda is, well, she doesn’t really have it. Her loyalty is specifically to her Alcina. If Miranda were to say Cass couldnt’ hunt, for instance, Cass would want to hunt her. She enjoys killing, that’s her primary source of entertainment. She’s even been known to kill villagers when they stray too far from worship of Miranda (or, at least that’s her excuse up until Miranda orders the lords to kill all the villagers) then she’ll either drain them if they’re female, or if they’re male, either turn them into a scarecrow for the vineyard, or bring them to Uncle Heisenberg for his tests. If Miranda were to vanish or perish, Cassandra definitely wouldn’t give a shit. 

DANIELA

Dani’s loyalty is... questionable with Miranda. Some might think she’s loyal due to the loyalty she held to the woman in life, but once she became the mutation she is now, and lost all memories of her life, her loyalty was, again, only to the girls mother. She really, really doesn’t care. She doesn’t take part in the worship, she’s sort of still testy about Miranda when she once tried to call her granny and got in trouble for it. Even her loyalty to Alcina’s wishes can be questioned, because she actually likes the other lords and considers them family. Especially Heisenberg. Being taught how to make pipe bombs really just sold her on her unkie. She’s the only one that calls him unkie. If Heisenberg asked her to help get rid of Miranda, she might be hesitant at first, because she doesn’t want to upset mother. But, if she knew how Miranda treats her mother, her hesitation would drop pretty quickly. Because how dare she be mean to mother! 

Dani’s also the most self centered of them. She doesn’t even eat most of the men they kill, just drains their guts to fertilize her flowers. She wants to play games and have a good time, but she’s also got an unbelievably short temper. Considering she’ll hack at the staff if they say no to her. 

MOREAU

Moreau’s the second eldest of Miranda’s ‘children’, and definitely got the short end of the stick. Despite this, he’s even more loyal to Miranda than Alcina is. While Alcina would betray Miranda for her children, Moreau would never betray Miranda. He loves her far too much. Even though she made what he went to her to heal worse, and completely destroyed his self esteem and physical stability in the process, he still views her as his actual mother. She was kind to him while his parents insulted and were disgusted by his deformities (although she was manipulating him, he doesn’t recognize that fact) she was kind and offered to ‘heal’ him. Although, she only made it worse, he ended up killing his family to prove his loyalty to Miranda. In doing so, he also severed his ties to them entirely, and mentally effectively replaced them with Miranda. 

HEISENBERG

We know his loyalty just, that’s not there. Kinda ironic, seeing as he’s clearly Miranda’s favorite (Moreau made the wolves, Heisenberg controls them. Heisenberg asks for something and she immediately gives it to him. Alcina’s distaste for Heisenberg seems deeply rooted in jealousy of how much more attention he receives from Miranda, and the fact she gives him more than she gives the rest of them now.) But he wants her dead. He wants freedom from her influence. Which is also kinda funny, because him and Moreau are the two that actively refer to the other lords as their siblings/family, even though they have starkly different loyalty to Miranda and Heisenberg refuses to recognize her as his mother. He had his parents, and Miranda killed them when she took him away for experiments as a child. He pretended to worship her, but his primary goal was to kill her, and free himself (and, by proxy, his siblings, despite claiming to hate them while still constantly referring to them as siblings) from her influence. 

His army is made of the dead, and arguably he didn’t actually kill anyone himself. Arguably, because he clearly intended to kill Ethan if Ethan didn’t do what he wanted. I do think Cassandra probably gave him a lot of the corpses he has used though. Also, his experiment notes... idk how much i agree w the fandom saying he’s never killed anyone lol.

DARCY

Darcy, being Heisenberg’s assistant, and still feeling the side effects of the mutation (her’s being pretty bad and still kind of painful), she holds no loyalty to Miranda. In fact, she only holds loyalty to Heisenberg because he wants to kill Miranda. 

In a way, Darcy hopes she can figure out a way to cure the infection. She hates it. She hates Miranda. She wants her freedom. The only reason she hasn’t tried to escape is because she knows Miranda can kill her with the cadou and mutamycete if she tried. Sometimes, she wonders if that would really be worse than life with the infection, however. 

DONNA

Donna’s the youngest of the four Lords, having been turned only in the late 90s/early 2000s, when the rest of her ‘family’ was turned between the 20s-50s. Her loyalty, well, nobody’s actually sure. She doesn’t speak, at all. She’s a selective mute. Her ‘voice’ is all a hallucination from her cadou powers. That’s why she primarily ‘speaks’ through Angie, and Angie may in fact be the personality Donna wishes she had (Or, Claudia’s personality, because I do line up to the theory Claudia is Donna’s younger sister, Donna was turned and ceased aging around 18-21 years old, after a few years of experimentation, and Angie was made from Claudia’s bones after the flowers in the house added to the degration of her father’s mental health.) 

She mentions not being able to let others leave her house because she ‘can’t let them’, but its unknown if that’s truly because of Miranda, or if she’s just so lonely she doesn’t want to let them leave. Her hallucinations aren’t entirely under control yet, but she’s grown a great deal in her control capability since she started. She killed the gardener by showing him hallucinations of the wife and child he lost, and killed him to prove her loyalty to Miranda. Something that seems to be a running theme, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Alcina and Heisenberg had to do the same too. Thus, if Heisenberg did, there’s no reason why Donna wouldn’t have done it just to maintain her place. 

However, she’s also still young, and clearly was raised.. under questionable circumstances. With the lack of affection, she likely would be willing to do anything just to feel the love she’s lacked feeling all her life. So, really, if someone, like Heisenberg showed her more affection, brotherly, fatherly, or whatnot, than Miranda does, she might struggle to keep her loyalty to Miranda, because someone else is fulfilling what Miranda isn’t.