#I think the last time I rewatched leverage I don’t think I watched the final episode

[independent-fics]

Leverage OT3 Casual Touches

(Cont.)

This is mainly for @werewolfsmile and anyone else who wants to shout into the void with me about this ot3!

So far season 4 started off strong with lots of little ot3 moments I’ve been clocking on my latest rewatch. Today I watched “The Office Job” through “The Gold Job” and wanted to recap. Ngl it isn’t much…

Still good things but it was a lot of what we already see which is still beautiful. But mainly it was a lot of leaning, being in each others spaces, and a lot of the handshake. (For the purposes of this post I’m skipping “The Girls Night Out Job” and “The Boys Night Out Job” simply because those two are a whole other beast of ot3 moments that I would like to gif separately and also not a lot of touching (besides the handshake in the boys night) which is what we’re focusing on here.)

“The Office Job” is my favorite comfort episode of Leverage. Everything about is pure gold. Despite Hardison and Eliot arguing the whole time about a sandwich they still manage to pull together in the end and have one of the funniest moments in the episode which is of course topped off by the handshake. Once again mainly in each other’s spaces or leaning this episode.

“The Lonely Hearts Job” also such a great episode of basically the ot3 parent trapping Nate and Sophie and Eliot out here doing the absolute most showing he knows his team in the end of the episode.

As for casual touches a lot with Eliot and Parker (I feel like there’s always more with Eliot and Parker in trying to find more with Eliot and Hardison but mainly they just always lean in each others spaces and orbit each other, compared to Eliot and Parker which sometimes have a similar but different dynamic due to comparing how Parker in the beginning of the series was very adverse to touch. Not from Hardison and Eliot now though:)).

This scene starts out with them with a gap but they gradually get closer (I know this can happen when scenes are reshot. As I always say though let me read the subtext how I want. They were further apart then they got closer soooo)

My favorite thing is the shoulder bumping as they’re walking out. All I have to say.

Here they’re betting whoever gets the highest bid gets a steak which is super cute later because Eliot loses and puts up a fight about making it but then totally has heart eyes and smiles when he “loses” that argument too. Why wouldn’t he make his boyfriend a steak. There’s also a later scene I totally forgot to gif when they’re getting the guy flirting with Sophie out of the way and he calls Hardison (who’s in character) an idiot and I know Eliot did not need to take him down as hard as he did all I have to say.

And once again we have the leaning in each others spaces, shoulder touching, and once again the handshake. None of the other bachelors were standing this close on stage just saying.

Then we have “The Gold Job” where Parker literally gets up to sit next to Eliot? Wonderful. But then there’s some shoving but for context the whole scene was kinda tense because Hardison was running his first con. But then right before the camera changes Eliot moves closer!!!

But then they end up further apart again which I’m assuming may be due to reshoots.

Just generally the comfort between all of them gets me in these scenes. They’ve come a lot way and even though the beginning of season four I feel like shows this a lot more I’m still glad I’m finding scenes with their casual touches as I’m finishing out season 4.

That’s all I have for tonight :D I’m finishing up season 4 tomorrow so I’m sure I’ll be adding to this later.

Hope you like my gifs :) haven’t gifed in so long but I’m happy I’m learning again. Quality still needs work though.

Bonus:

Here’s a bonus gif of Eliot looking like he’s blowing a kiss in the button cam footage in “The Office Job” because I thought it was funny. This is once again getting added to my “why didn’t I notice this before” list. I just wanna know for whom Eliot. :)

[lilolilyr]

💫 top 9 first watched 2023 💫

Tagged by @die-schwanenkoenigin, thank you! Took me a while bc tbh I didn’t immediately remember enough films/series that I watched for the first time last year lmao, I did Not watch a lot of TV in all of 2023 xD and when I did it was mostly rewatches… anyway!

I already loved Leverage, and Leverage: Redemption is just as awesome! Maybe cheating a bit by adding it to the list bc it’s not a completely new thing, but hey the title’s kinda different so it isn’t just another season right? xD

EEAAO, oh my god, no words, watched 3 times and would watch again

The only negative thing I can say about Glass Onion is that I liked Knives Out even better, so it didn’t quite reach that level? But it’s honestly hard to compare the two. Glass Onion was definitely an A++ representation of Dumbass Evil Rich Guys, and the movie was fun to watch!

Look, the 2006 film with Keira Knightley (and Rosamund Pike) is great (because Keira Knightly and Rosamund Pike), so I kept rewatching that, but now that I’ve finally watched the 1995 version I gotta say - it’s better. Like sorry. But it is.

Blues Brothers! I was convinced that I had already watched it and maybe I had as a kid? Didn’t remember anything, and it’s a great film! Glad I finally watched it.

How did I not see this version of the parent trap until now? I love any version of Das Doppelte Lottchen!

Honestly, I don’t remember much about the James Bond except that I didn’t hate it?

I watched Fantomas with my mom when it was on TV and it was surprisingly fun

I like that version of Poirot, but tbh the only reason that one in particular made the list is Harriet Walter is in it and I watched it twice even though she’s just in a very minor role xD

Tagging anyone who sees this, hasn’t done it yet and would like to do it!

Also shoutout to these 4 films that, while by no means my favs, show what genre dominates my first watched films of the year lmao

I did actually like A Castle For Christmas tbh! Was thinking about writing a wlw fic rewrite of the plot or sth, but didn’t get around to it.

[lerry-hazel]

That weird moment where an OK-ish show becomes more exciting than a beloved one solely by means of not having been rewatched obsessively every year for the last decade.

I mean “The Librarians” vs “Leverage”, but the same goes for later seasons of SPN. I think I’ve only watched s15 once: I don’t even remember what happens outside the two episodes all the fics are about.

Also, that weird moment when I finally don't feel like looking at anything SPN-related for a long time, but I have just set myself a deadline on another SPN fic.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico - Season 4, Episode 11

Okay...aside from OH MY GOD ALEX IS BACK AND HAD ACTUAL SCREEN TIME WITH MICHAEL AND IT WASN’T JUST THE LAST TWO MINUTES OF THE EPISODE HOORAY!

Three things first:

1. Did we really have to bring Alex back just to have him say “oh yeah by the way I’m totally dying from radiation poisoning”? Hahaha. What the fuck?! I mean, I’m gonna go ahead and assume that Vlamis and Tyler wouldn’t be happy with the Malex ending if Alex literally dies. So I’m going to assume that means he gets healed somehow. Perhaps everyone will finally get that handprint moment they’ve been begging for. But I’m just going to have to go with “he’s definitely not dying” or I’m going to lose my mind. 

2. If they fucking have Dallas marry them in that permanently twilight world with only Bonnie for a witness, I might also lose my mind. I’m sorry, I’m gonna need A) light and B) everyone else in attendance. 

3. Was there an actual explanation of what the Alighting is in Clyde’s ramblings? Because I don’t think there actually was beyond “I’m gonna go home” and like...is that it? Just going back to Oasis? Cause that’s boring. Anticlimactic. I mean, I expect nothing less from this show but still? Why have a fancy word for it if it’s just “point my star map home and walk through a portal”? That doesn’t sound like “THE ALIGHTING” to me. I mean honestly, I need someone to explain the show’s whole alien mythology to me because my god does it not make sense to me AT ALL. This show makes me feel so dumb sometimes and I’m pretty sure it’s just bad storytelling but also....maybe I’m missing something?? So I was rewatching bits of season one because I was having Malex feelings and I ended up watching Noah’s whole scene about “coming from a war torn planet blah blah blah the Alighting and when they come to take us home, I was going to trade you for leverage” and he talked about a stowaway??? So like...why did all these aliens come? They were trying to escape Oasis because of Jones the Dictator? But then Jones stowed away? But like...there were a bunch of his Ophiuchus disciples on that ship too? Noah, Bonnie, Clyde, Tesca etc? So wouldn’t that be more than one stowaway?? And then what were Nora, Louise and Theo actually trying to do? Were they trying to go home? Or were they just trying to save their kids and take Max from Jones so he couldn’t transfer into him? And Theo was undercover helping Jones but also creating pocket dimensions as decoys???? Like...what the fuck is any of this supposed to be?!?!? HELP! I have so many questions and I don’t feel like any of them have been answered. 

Aside from those three things....

I was very glad to see Alex in half the episode rather than just the last five minutes like I feared. Still annoyed at the “hey I’m dying part” but remember, we’re ignoring that cause he’s gonna be fine okay. But I like that we really are just full on paralleling Motherland and Raylla and Alex is immediately like “we found each other again let’s get married!” Which is very sweet. And you know...no hang ups there in saying yes...just the whole....dying part but anyway...moving on. 

PRESENT DAY, PRESENT TENSE I LOVE YOU!!! ABOUT DAMN TIME! Bless. 

They have incredibly cheesy lines but at least one of them isn’t “you’re my turquoise” because I swear if I have to hear Max say that one more time to Liz I’m going to lose it. Haha. 

I have to thank Bonnie at least for letting Malex have some alone time while she and Dallas went on their little fruitless errand. I may not really care about her arc but at least she gave us that. 

There were references in this episode but I don’t think there were any Harry Potter ones? Maybe I rage blocked it out immediately but I don’t think there were?!?

I continue to adore the Kybel awkwardness and also the fact that Rosa and Max totally know. I desperately wish they had just let Isobel date Anatsa all last season and started fresh with the Kybel slowburn this season so we could have had more time with this but alas. It is what it is. They’re super cute and I can’t wait till they make it official. 

I was very glad to see so many Kyle and Rosa scenes in this episode because despite Kyle finding out she was his sister in season one, I feel like their sibling scenes have been pretty nonexistent so yay for those. Especially him telling her how far she’s come and her being like “yeah so Isobel is totally in love with you too you idiot”. I really wish we had gotten so much more but this was great. 

I still just...don’t care about this Liz plot that, shocker...was solved in an episode. Well...at least the addiction part. There was that preview (that preview that had no Alex in it again ..ugh) where she said her brain is broken so I guess there’s consequences but still...obviously very rushed. 

I feel like Shivani wasn’t totally wrong about Echo because I don’t feel like they’ve really resolved any of their actual issues. But sure...I guess we’ll see. 

I suppose I should be happy that they’re all of a sudden now making an attempt to make Liz’s student relevant to the plot but uhhh...yeah...not so much. It all just feels kind of ridiculous to have that whole GED class plot and trying to be a mentor just so she could be used by Clyde like nine episodes later. 

I suppose I should also be glad that Clyde is trying to make Shivani and her cryo daughter relevant to the plot too but uhh...I’m sorry I still don’t care. Plus, I really can’t believe that Shiri Appleby was used just for that weird mindscape episode but I feel like they’ve just wasted her if she’s not going to suddenly be relevant at the end. But also...do I even care about her actual character beyond that she’s OG Liz? At this point? No. Although still the fact that she’s apparently related to the Valentis and we didn’t even see her when Kyle and Eduardo went to find her for...reasons? to get Alien console pieces? is just kind of also absurd. She was vaguely plot relevant and we didn’t even see her??? So strange. 

Speaking of Eduardo....why were we meant to care at all about him and his estranged daughter if it was literally a twelve second plot point that meant nothing?? Like literally...other than Kybel hooking up, that whole Mexico excursion was thoroughly pointless. 

Anyway....I would like Alex not to die now that we’ve got him back. I would like to actually get to see Sanders in that tux at their wedding outside the pocket dimension. That is coincidentally the only thing I still care about aside from Kybel and Rosa’s happiness. The plot is meaningless but I still would really like someone to explain it to me just cause I want to understand. To be honest, I’m not even sure the showrunners and writers could explain it if pressed. 

[temunitu]

oh boy, rewatching Rise with 1-2 episodes a day is giving me a new perspective on the whole show (I'm talking mostly about character development, plot, pacing, etc.)

disclaimer: this is NOT meant to discourage anyone from watching the show, nor is it meant to attack anyone who enjoys the points i criticize. these are merely my opinions and i respect anyone who thinks differently from me. 

read more because i'm incapable of keeping my thoughts short:

first off, when i first started watching Rise, i was completely smitten by the show. the first few episodes that aired before the rest of the show started playing on tv, i watched religiously. it was my favorite tmnt iteration for a LONG time and i still hold it near and dear to my heart. 

but it was not perfect. nothing is, really. 

Donnie - i’ve reblogged and mentioned how i didn’t appreciate how the writers handled Donnie’s development in Rise. Again, if you’re a Donnie fan, i can still see why - he’s a fun character. To me it just got old watching him run in circles.

Mikey - i had so many thoughts on my boy so i put it in a separate post - TL;DR Mikey didn’t have much development himself, the episodes he supposedly does were problems that got introduced and solved in the same episode, and Mikey acts as more of a hype-man/therapist and feels more like a background character than a main character. I might be biased cuz he’s my favorite, idc. he deserves more spotlight.

Draxum - season 1, he’s great. It’s season 2 that fell short with me. Not all the post-redemption episodes bugged me, he still feels largely in-character in mystery meat and the finale. I think it was hidden city’s most wanted that really… seemed off to me. Maybe it was the fact he was a teddy bear, idk, but him using Mikey as leverage against Splinter irked me. Draxum and Lou/Splinter had hardly any interaction in goyles, goyles, goyles so their “rivalry” felt really forced. i could see Splinter hating Big Mama since their relationship (was implied to have) lasted WAY longer. Draxum kidnapped and experimented on Lou in the same day and they'd barely met. idk, it felt rushed.

Season Two - i don’t blame the writers for this, i blame nickelodeon for cutting the series short so we didn’t get to experience the series in its rightful glory. but even leading up to the finale, it feels like there’s so many gaps missing in how characters and their dynamics change.

unbalanced focus - related to some of the previous points, but there really does seem to be a lot more episodes revolving around Donnie and Leo more than Raph and Mikey. i get why Leo and Don are fan favorites since they get so much more screen time than the other two, but Raph and Mikey had so much potential that just got shrugged off. Especially Mikey (don't @ me, he deserves better)

yes, the show got cut short. It’s still easily one of my favorites (especially season 1) but there were so many episodes that felt like there was a gap (like characters developed off-screen). I know the writers were pressed for time but season 2 just didn’t quite hit the same. Some of the episodes are still amazing/my favorites, but there’s a couple that really bugged me.

but my biggest complaint is still directed at nickelodeon/viacom for pulling the plug before giving the show a chance. most of these points would probably have been addressed or fixed if we'd gotten the full season 2 the writers had planned for.

[captainsspnanon]

C2E56 - The Favor - rewatch reaction

BEA-CON. BEA-CON. BEA-CON. BEA-CON.  BAD. ASS. CA-LEB.  BAD. ASS. CA-LEB.

Can you tell I’m excited for this episode????

Holy fuck I forgot Tal wasn’t here for this one!!

OH SHIT, Aimee’s in the Sam bit!  HI AIMEE!!!!!!

Wait, Grey DeLisle too??  It’s just early cameo time!

Tony Hale, he was in TLOVM too, wasn’t he?

Skipped the intro again.  It’s interesting, I haven’t skipped the C3 intro yet, but I think it’s because I’ve been watching it live or live-ish on twitch, rather than the youtube release.  I think I’d be skipping it if I were on youtube.  I skipped the C1 intros fairly early on, only watching them maybe one or two times apeice.  C2 I watched for a bit but then started skipping.

(I also keep wanting to go on tumblr, but because I’m now in the watching of Calamity e3 to finish it sometime this weekend, I’m now trying to actually avoid full on finale stuff.  Which makes it hard because I follow a ton of CR folks, so basically have to disconnect until I’m ready. ….I might give up by tomorrow)

(wow it is long past when I typed that up, isn’t it?  It’s been...something.  Left my dnd group halfway through the second session and been too mentally screaming at the world for CR.  But time to jump back in!  I want my Essek! [though I don’t even remember if he shows up this episode or if it’s the next.]  Also Calamity was super fucking awesome, omg)

I’d actually paused right after the intro, for which I’m VERY glad, because having the refresher of ‘last we left off’ really helped this time.  Also, I love how it’s now, after over a year of the M9 and years of VM, that Matt is finally accepting that the cast will shout obscenities at him before the game.  I’m fairly certain they did this in C1 as well, how did he think that they would stop? XD

I do miss the Detect Magic, Identify, Comprehend Languages ritual I-know-everything of Caleb.  This is a PC that is very unique to this campaign, as in C1 and so far in C3, we don’t have anyone else with that heavy focus into learning what things are and being able to share that with the group.  It’s also good confirmation that it’s not something that is needed, but also doesn’t break a campaign when it’s there. The Nein, while more easily able to learn what things are, still end up muddling through the same way the VM did, and sometimes even with the knowledge end up going down the wrong path.  Plus, as we know upcoming, Identify doesn’t always indicate that an item is cursed, so they are still tricked by that as well.

Matt giving the explanation that the demon heart didn’t collapse into sludge like the rest of the body because it was pulled out using electricity, and then immediately going ‘also ‘cause it’s fucking cool that you have a demon heart so you get to keep it despite RAW’.

FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP!!!!!  First they all crack up and get Matt to facepalm with the numerous pussy jokes, then Matt gets them sweating by very visibly holding up a d20 ‘just because it’s pretty’.

Matt!Caduceus just sounds like Sam Elliott from The Big Lebowski.  Also, once again, having the players initiate and then Matt be like ‘nope we’re waiting for the player to be here’, though it seemed clear that the players weren’t expecting the moment to happen.  Instead, it was 1) wanting to hear Matt’s impression, and 2) initiating the moment so that it won’t lead to any ‘you didn’t ask me about this for a WEEK’ type situations.

(also lol I typed Sam Eliot first then double checked the spelling.  LOOK, Leverage is fucking awesome okay.  And I will 100% be doing a Leverage rewatch reaction at some point too, because it’s so good and I have thoughts.)

I’m honestly not sure if Fjord was trying to check and see if Caleb was still willing to turn on the party, or if Travis was giving Liam an opportunity to admit that Ikithon used a memory spell to have Caleb turn on his family.  My best bet is that it was a level of both combined.  Liam is way too fucking good at portraying sad, broken Caleb though MY HEART.  I had been looking forwards to the post conversations of the mental takeover, but thinking on it, I think this might actually be it?  I don’t remember any big moments about it, so it might actually be more easily pushed aside as ‘it was mind control, no need to read anything further into it’. ��UGH YASHA MY HEART.  I can’t wait until Ashley’s back.  Matt does some good stuff as Yasha, but Ashley is the one who really captures how broken she feels because of the multiple instances of mind control, and just how much she hates it.

I will say that the biggest character jump for me, from C2 to C1, was seeing the transition from Yasha to Pike.  Fjord to Grog is big, but Travis is very clever in the way he plays Grog and uses his own intelligence to KEEP Grog from being intelligent.  But Yasha to Pike??  It’s just two very different extremes, and yet two utter badasses.  While I’m still sure that watching C2 first was the right choice for me for a number of reasons, I do wonder what it must have been like going from the C1 PCs into the C2 PCs and seeing all of these different people suddenly.   I didn’t have a jarring sensation moving into C3, but that’s because I’d seen C2 and then C1.  I am looking forwards to my eventual C1 rewatch, to see if now that I’m more used to them playing different characters, if I might warm up more to the C1 PCs, which I’m much more neutral towards at this time.  I like them, but I don’t really LOVE any of them the same way I adore the C2 crew. (I’ve got some that I love from C3, the remainder I think just need time to keep growing on me, but I like ‘em all!)

Have I ever given Laura enough credit for how she just thoroughly embodies her PCs?  I don’t think I have.  NOT ENOUGH, NEVER ENOUGH.  Jester freaking out in excitement over another follower of the Traveler is just SO completely in character that it’s as if I can’t imagine the reaction any other way.  Laura is just not there, there is only Jester.  And Laura has done this fantastically with Vex and with Imogen, just embodying them SO well and so naturally!

I’m really just singing praise for all of these guys as actors because they’re all fucking phenomenal, each just hits me harder at certain moments, and right now it’s Laura.

Covak “thought it was strange that a fair folk would visit an old codger like myself” holy shit is this the first obvious hint we have that the Travler is Artagan???  And the language was completely breezed over in the moment!  But no one in Exandria uses the term Fair Folk for the deities!  *does a transcript search* okay maybe no one uses them for the fey either.  The only other useage of it was Kaylie telling Scanlan off, in reference to herself.  BUT STILL.  It’s such common usage in the real world!  I completely feel like it was a hint from Matt.

I forgot that the other followers of the Traveler tend to do a lot more mean spirited ‘pranks’.  Shitting in wells?  That’s….not a prank.  That’s contaminating the water supply and making who knows how many people sick.

I also forgot how jealous Jester is of her position with the Traveler and being his favorite – though I’m now remember she has him remove other people’s ability to do Sending because she thought it was her own special spell.  As much as she’s constantly a sweetheart, there are definitely moments where she’s a bit darker.  I tend to forget that.

Lol at them being told that by finding the rift machine that they have done ‘a great service to the Dynasty’.  LADY YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHING YET.

I do like that the entire group doesn’t feel like they have to do the high Charisma = player must do all the talking.  In each campaign, you’ve got the talkers and then you’ve got the Talkers, but because they don’t feel like they have to limit it to the best in order to Win, you get amazing scenes of people who REALLY SHOULDN’T BE TALKING leading to unexpected and wonderful outcomes.

I’m interested in finding out if I’m right or wrong, but I think Lythir is Lythir Tasithar, and is also the mage that they fought who is going to give them shit to the Bright Queen?

I FORGOT ABOUT THE BDSM GEAR HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT THE BDSM GEAR

I’m so glad that they brought the moorbounders with them.  Honestly, I wish they kept them more through the campaign, but once they weren’t in Xhorhas, it doesn’t really make sense.   I headcanon that they got them back from Bazzozan and that they are kept at the Xhorhaus while the gang is there, but when they are not that they are treated well and are quite happy.

For as much that I don’t have to say during the waiting period, there actually are good character moments here.  Imagine early campaign Beau being told that she’d be used as a human bench.  She wouldn’t just joke about throwing a bench, she’d likely physically harm the person AND have some very nasty comments in return.  Caleb wouldn’t just exasperatedly ask how he’d managed to get here with these people, he’d be thinking of plans to throw them under the bus and ways to ensure only his and Nott’s safety, and only his if it REALLY came down to it.  It’s subtle, but it’s so much honest progress for these two, just the sheer growth that the Nein has put them through.

For all that this episode is SUCH a game changer for the campaign, I’m genuinely surprised to rediscover that the actual moment is so brief.  For an episode that is three hours long only, the conversation with the Bright Queen doesn’t even START until 2:39.

This is also where I go ‘wait, that’s the voice??’  This has happened a few times during a campaign.  Essek, while he’s not here yet, I’ve seen clips of him speaking and it always takes me a moment to remember how he sounds.  As for the Bright Queen, I remember it sounding a bit more feminine, so I’m wonder if Matt adjusts how he speaks later in the campaign, or if it’s just a case of remember the character rather than the actor, and the voice changing accordingly.

I FORGOT NOTT USED THE MOTE OF POSSIBILITY AAAAAAA (This at 2:44.  Man, the defining moment of this episode REALLY doesn’t come til late!)

I can’t imagine how the campaign would have gone if Caleb didn’t give the beacon (we’re not even at that moment YET!).  Seriously!  They VERY suddenly were in complete shit.  Using the mote, and then with Lythir confirming that they attacked the Kryn (defended themselves but who cares about the technicalities here???), they were going to be attacked, arrested, guaranteed their bags would be searched and I completely agree with Liam that the beacon would have been found and then they would have been SUPER fucked.  So it’s so interesting to watch this and have no clue how it could have turned out, and remember that pretty much everyone else did NOT like the choice that Liam made!  And I say Liam and not Caleb!!  Because if I recall correctly, especially during the Talks, that it was out of character disagreement with the choice of action! (correction from a few minutes ahead, okay, Travis is really against, but Laura is for, Sam seems to be either way, not sure how Marisha reads it, I think she was against?  But also like, not against in that they’re going to hold it against Liam or anything like that.   FUN disagreement, not anger disagreement)

2:51.  Ten minutes left of the episode (including any end card time), and NOW Caleb is starting his desperate play.

LOL the episode ended RIGHT after and then it was just Matt being like ‘wtf do I do now’ for the next five minutes or so.  I LOVE IT.

FUCKING GAME CHANGER.  LET’S GO. (no essek yet sadface)

@suicidallyreckless

[just-a-creep-babe]

Kinktober Day 3

Yan! Hoodie: Recording

Hnng this one isn’t as yandere as I would’ve liked it to be, but I’m still happy with the way it came out uwu

Quick warning for dub-con ahead!!

~Requests are closed~

Masterlist: x

Any tips are greatly appreciated!

Rage boils in your system

The red light flickers on, device coming to life before you, and you swear to god, you’d rip the man’s eyes out if they weren’t hidden beneath that inky black mask

“You gonna give me a pretty smile, sweet cheeks?” he chuckles

A gloved hand grips your jaw, squishing your cheeks and yanking you up to face the lens of his handheld camera

“F-fuck you!” you spit

You try to jerk yourself from his grasp but he only chuckles again, the reverberating sound only fueling your burning hatred

Even through his black leather glove, you can still feel the warmth of his hand as he grabs your thighs and pulls you flush against him

Your legs are forcefully split open despite your protests, his toned arms giving you no leverage to escape as he settles between them, grounding his pelvis just inches from your core

His touch fitters over your body, exploring you, feeling you like you’re his

Some part of your traitorous body reacts well to him, your sex fluttering in eager anticipation, and you loath it

He reaches for your shirt, and you hardly have time to register the sound of ripping fabric as he tears it off like it‘s nothing, leaving your chest entirely bare to him and the camera

“S-stop it!” you shriek frantically, squirming and jerking beneath him, but your cries don’t seem to phase him in the least

“Tsk tsk, you shouldn’t act up on camera, baby” he croons, pushing two fingers past your lips, “What if someone watches this, hm? They’re gonna think I’m a monster for taking advantage of a sweet little doll now, aren’t they?~”

You squeeze your eyes shut as leather assaults your tongue, forcing its way deeper into your mouth until you’re gagging and spluttering around his digits

“But we both know you’re really just a slut for me, aren’t you, baby? Hm?”

He punctuates the word slut with a rough thrust of his fingers that has you choking around him

You whine and twist and whimper beneath him, tears springing to your eyes, but he doesn’t let up

“Show them how deep you can take things into that pretty mouth of yours, beautiful”

Everything inside you screams to spit him out—shove him off of you and get his sickly taste from of your mouth

But he keeps pumping his coarse fingers in and out, reaching the very back of your throat with harsh pumps and teasing strokes, and the most you can do is grip onto his forearm and gasp desperately for air

You hate him

And you hate his damn camera for crystallizing the sight of you, so utterly helpless beneath him, for him to rewatch whenever he pleases

Finally, finally, he pulls his fingers free, a string of saliva connecting you before splitting, and then he’s roughly tugging your skirt down, panties included, until you’re completely exposed beneath his consuming gaze

“That’s a good girl~”

His husky coaxing and mocking words of encouragement do little to quell your shame and humiliation as he gathers up your slick on the same two fingers he’d previously crammed down your throat

He changes the focus of his camera from your face to the mess between your legs and you cringe at the thought that anyone really could see this

But then you swallow thickly and try to steel your nerves, glaring at him

You can’t let him break you

So as he pushes and prods at your folds, rubbing your clit with that coarse texture that almost has you mewling, you keep your mouth clamped shut and force yourself not to cave

Even as he pushes a thick gloved finger into your entrance, and even as he adds a second one and slowly starts pumping them in and out, stretching you open, preparing you for what’s to come

You do everything you can to stop yourself from moaning beneath him and giving him a good show

“Mmh... look at that. So nice and soaked for me~”

He moves the handheld to focus on your reaction again and you swear to god, even with his mask on, you can hear the self-satisfaction in his voice

You bite your lip until copper fills your mouth, determined not to show how good he feels, even as your brows furrow and your core cinches tightly around him

And then without much of a warning, he twists his fingers right against a spot that sets off something wonderful throughout your whole body

Your head’s thrown back, eyebrows kneading together as a sickly moan falls from your swollen lips

“There it is, atta girl~ Show how good you are for me; so fucking perfect. And you’re mine—all mine and mine alone~”

He curls his fingers and you clench around him again—hard—your legs practically shaking from the stimulus

You can’t conceal your reaction—the best you can do is force a hand over your mouth and squeeze your eyes shut to prevent him from seeing how easily you unravel beneath his touch

Stop stop stop stop—!

To your relief and, admittedly, mild disappointment, he does pull his fingers free, leaving you empty and trying not to buck up into him for more

He takes one of your nipples between his thumb and forefinger instead, the glove soaked wet from your arousal, and tugs and twists at the sensitive bud

You mewl, body shuddering as you’re all but forced to meet his piercing void of a gaze

“You ready for me, baby?” he mocks teasingly, almost cooing at your pathetically writhing mess of a form

You don’t want to admit how much you really do want him as he pulls himself free from his jeans

The tip of his thick cock brushes over your folds, teasing up and down your slit and gathering up as much of your shameful slick as he can

Then in one slow, calculated thrust, he pushes his entirety through your velvety walls

The angle he’s positioned at gives him the perfect view of your expression to record as his girth spreads you apart

“God, you’re so fucking nice and tight for me~ So fucking perfect, baby”

He tilts the camcorder down and flicks at your clit with his thumb, slowly rocking his hips so that he’s pushing in and out only a few inches at a time

Your cunt envelopes him all too eagerly, swallowing in his cock before he pushes out, only to thrust back in all over again

You can’t see it, but you can feel him coated in your arousal, the betrayal of your desires, all on film for anyone to watch and enjoy later on

He groans deeply, and the sound has your walls fluttering disgustingly tight around him

“Such a cute little thing, aren’t you?”

He snaps his pelvis and it has your back arching as you try to grasp onto the sheets, another sickly moan falling for him

He keeps up with the tortuously slow, deep pace until you’re so unbearably horny, your cunt drooling eagerly around him, that you hardly have it in you to care about how much you hate him and his stupid camera anymore

“Can you say my name for me, baby? Hm? Say my name like a good little slut, (y/n)~”

You close your eyes so you don’t have to see the red light recording you, soaking you all in, and so you don’t have to admit that your pride’s caving and you’re tempted to obey him

His thumb rubs over your clit again as he brings his hips to a deep and dirty grind into you

You swallow back a shameless slew of moans and whimpers for more

Maybe if you don’t give him what he wants, he’ll stop, or he’ll get bored, and he’ll finally let you go

So you cling onto the last shred of hope you have, trying to ignore the way he works himself into you, and the way his hand feels brushing over your clit, all the way up your navel to toy with your breast, groaning quietly at how you’re such a perfect cocksleeve for him

You force your eyes closed, trying not to buck into him, not to give in, not to moan and beg despite the unbearable heat building in your core that has you clenching and buckling

It’s only when you feel him shift and set the camera down that you almost trick yourself into believing he gave up

But he suddenly grabs a fistful of your hair, making you yelp as he tugs you up and forces you on your hands and knees, ass up, facing the camera settled on the nightstand

“You wanna play hard to get, don’t you, baby? Why don’t we show the camera what naughty fucking brats get when they don’t obey~ In case you’ve forgotten, you’re not going anywhere until I’m done with you, sweet cheeks”

[kaizoku-musume]

Leverage Rewatch in Honour of the New Series: The Goodbye Job

Ahhh, the last episode! Ooh man, this one killed me when I first watched it, not just because it was the last one, but because of you-know-what.

More obvious evidence of Nate preparing the OT3 for his (and Sophie’s) retirement.

Ugh, that’s right, they hit us with the knowledge that the team is “dead” right from the beginning.

Hey, that was a callback to the first episode, I see what you did there.

Sophie’s horrible acting really should have been the first clue that not all was as it seemed. Nate’s right, during a con she’s an amazing actor even on stage; we saw that in the episode with the foster kid scam. So for her to be a bad actor during a con, something’s up.

Oh man, we’re already at the scene where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are injured, fall, get shot. Oh man, I know this isn’t real, but it’s still hard to watch. I have to keep pausing it to take a moment. Hardison falling and Parker being heart-broken over him? Killed me. Eliot getting shot and choking up blood? Killed me. Hardison asking if Eliot made it? Killed me. Them all holding hands as they die? Killed me. Sophie and Nate looking back and seeing their children dead? Killed me.

Guys, I’m not lying, I’m seriously crying over here. Like, near sobbing, oh my god, I literally had to take a five minute break because my tears were making it impossible to see the screen. Oh my god, I do not remember being this upset last time. This was a mistake. Okay, no, it wasn’t, but I was not expecting to be that broken up over it.

Look guys, I turned the volume up, that definitely did not sound like Sophie. They  just wanted to keep the mystery going a little while longer I guess.

If they show us the team dying again I will kill them.

Nate going from that outburst to calmly explaining how he knows he’s not in a hospital is also a big clue that things aren’t what they were, why didn’t I notice any of this the first time?

The only reason I’m happy to see Sterling is because I’ve finally calmed down. If he had shown up just five minutes earlier, I wouldn’t have cared a bit.

And now we basically have confirmation that the team’s still alive and our hearts don’t have to stay broken. I do think it’s a bit shortsighted of Sterling to not think that if Nate was lying about Parker being dead, mayyybe he’s also lying about the others being dead.

Hey, I saw the team run in (mostly Parker, man does that blond hair stand out)! And then again later, between the shelves. Gosh, that sure was bold of them, these basasses. 

Nate and Sterling would really make a good team.

Eliot’s look of long-suffering at being fake shot is exactly what I needed to help make me feel better, but I still don’t think I’ll ever look at Lucille the same way again.

The OT3, getting their last shots in and not being able to give Nate a rest, even when he’s proposing.

Eliot looking right at Parker and Hardison after saying he did need something is just . . . ugh, so sweet! And the music playing? So not fair!

What a great end to an amazing series! This show meant so much to me growing up, and I was so sad to see it go, but now it’s time to move on.

Thanks to everyone who listened to my ramblings on this series, hope you guys enjoyed!

[dadlezal]

As I’m very new in this fandom, I’d like to add a very long comment about this Sherlolly ship. But, at the very beginning, I’d like to say I love your works, Mathilde. Your videos make people think and binds different moments of the show into one picture. They’re masterpieces.

Everyone keeps talking about the second “I love you”, but I think there are at least two moments from the last episode that are equally important.

1.      “If it’s true, just say it anyway”

Just look at his face when he says it. Of course, the entire sick situation is about Molly loving Sherlock, he figured it out himself (as the only one person in the room), but the moment Molly says “Because it’s true”, Sherlock’s face changes – it softens, as if it was THIS MOMENT when he truly realized what she meant, what it all REALLY meant. This was the moment Sherlock realized how difficult it is to say someone you love them, not knowing if they love you back, or worse, knowing they DON’T love you back. How difficult it is to talk about your feelings. No wonder she says: “You bastard” – she couldn’t have seen his face and voice can betray you. She also discovered he really did know about her feelings and maybe thought he tried to manipulate her once again, brutally using her weakness for him for another sick game. And maybe, just maybe, his voice softens and lowers because he wants to finally face the truth.

  2.      “What?”

As a person who likes watching a lot of cop shows (especially “The Mentalist”), I can assure you that this is the face someone makes when they’re forced to do something that will reveal the truth about them. Something they want to hide. Something that was hidden inside them and they have been repressing it for a long time. They subconsciously know it’s going to be painful and that is why it’s so hard for them to reveal it. Besides, this time it’s Molly Hooper who plays a game with Sherlock, not the other way around. She stands up to him once again. The same way she said he always says horrible things, the same way she slapped him in the face when he got into drug addiction, the same way she ignored his warning voice when she started talking about the way her father used to hide his sadness. I think that she used to give up to his charms and manipulations very easily but she gained a sort of immunity against it over the time. So, saying “What?”, Sherlock shows his astonishment that she was so tough when he thought she would be vulnerable. It also shows that he got even more scared. He had to not only save her life, but reveal his feelings.

  So, the first try comes out a bit insincere, dry. But once he says these words, just to save Molly’s life, he comes to a realization: maybe he doesn’t have to lie. Maybe it doesn’t have to be insincere. We don’t know what was in Benedict Cumberbatch’s head, we don’t know what he thought about their relationship. Of course, there are many people who use the writers’ words as arguments: the thing that is between them is only a friendship. Alright, but we are all allowed to interpret everything the way we want, including actors (the best example is Jim Parsons in “The Big Bang Theory” and the way he plays Sheldon as if he was autistic). Interpreting is not about discovering the author’s intention, but discovering the parts of our experience and ourselves in what we read/hear/see. And I think it’s pretty ugly what they said about Molly: that this “I love you” scene magically helped her move on, she went and banged some random guy and everything was alright. No wonder why Louise Brealey herself got mad at them. This kind of devotion is not easy to get over with. She loved him, truly loved, loved him the way Irene Adler wouldn’t understand. This is why John Watson says: “I want you to be examined by the first person who learned to see through your bullshit. The last person you would think about”. Of course this time Sherlock remembers about her because she was his leverage against Moriarty, but this proves that even Watson knew – Molly has seen a human in Sherlock before he was ready to admit it to himself. That’s why she was so persistent to show him she knows when he’s sad (the scene with “I don’t count” can be a material for another article). And it took me many hits of the replay button on this fanvid of Sherlolly before I realized what Sherlock meant when he asked her if she helped him if he would turn out be a completely different person – because the entire “fall from the roof” scam proved that Sherlock cares about people, and to explain the plot to her, he had to explain the reason for it – he wanted to save his friends, his family – the “emotional context”. And just so you know, I think that Cumberbatch kind of shows the “softness” Sherlock reveals around Molly. Just for a moment, when you rewatch the show, focus your eyesight on Sherlock from the very first scene with Molly. Camera shows he keeps looking at her even when she turns around. He gives her the “gazes”, longer than expected.

 Not to mention that Sherlock was soft to Molly before he started being soft to John. She’s the only person he said “sorry” to without being forced to do it, even though Molly said exactly the same everybody used to tell him. And, if I’m not mistaken, Sherlock’s “I love you” said to Molly is the first and the only time Sherlock does it on his own.

 And as to the “I don’t count” scene… Sherlock realized there that he wasn’t acting really nice towards her and that is why she assumed he didn’t take her seriously. His reaction was priceless and it was before he realized Moriarty’s plan. Just rewatch the scene and LOOK AT HIM. He was so vulnerable. She got to him. He was the nicest person ever because she made him realize how awfully he was treating her when she was the only person who truly knew him. And when she says: “Do want something? I know you don’t”. A before that, when he says: “What could I possibly need from you?”, he says it only because he’s confused. And it’s not easy to confuse Sherlock Holmes.

 And her bedroom was one of his bolt-holes.

 For me, they don’t have to be together. I think it would be fair for John and Sherlock to be “without girlfriends/wives” as per original stories. I wouldn’t mind if they knew about each other’s feelings without doing anything about them (except for acting awkward around each other and being occasionally sweet/softly-flirty). I’m guessing, as there are rumours about the fifth season being aired in 2022/2023, if the show continues, the writers will have enough decency to explain how the situation was resolved between Molly and Sherlock, and not the ugly way they did it on Twitter. Knowing Sherlock, he would not know what to do with his feelings, how to play it out. If I had to guess, if the writers go the “Sherlock and Molly getting a bit closer” road, they will probably kill her and she will mention their confession from “The Final Problem” within her last breath. Or, maybe, if they decide to finish the show after the fifth season, they’ll show us an open ending? Like, we will be forever wondering: did they or did they not end up together…?

 And I seriously wonder why the authors insist so much on Irene Adler being the only “love interest” of Sherlock. Like… yes, of course, there is a lot of sexual tension between the two of them but it is not romantic. Not even a little bit. Irene provided the proof that yes, Sherlock also has human desires, like sex for instance, but… I don’t see any attachment. I prefer Molly because she brings out the sensitive, vulnerable part of Sherlock, he knows he can be himself, THE TRUE SELF, with her, without having to defend himself with sarcasm and rudeness (he does it often in her presence at the beginning because he knows she is able to see through him but gives up eventually, even more after the roof fall). They remind me of The Hunger Games quote:

 What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses.

 And I think that’s what Molly is to Sherlock.

[haileymorelikestupid]

i rewatched blake’s de*th scene and lemme tell you there’s so much to talk about

first of all, i wanna talk about the pilot. i actually looked up the script to read it because i’ve read small parts from it whenever people post it on here but that’s it. in the script, it’s written that, while scho is getting the water, blake is trying to comfort the pilot and calm him down, and the pilot is speaking in german. according to the script, he says, “please help me, i don’t want to die.” when i watched the scene this time, i turned subtitles on to see if i could catch it, but the only thing i hear and that pops up in the subtitles is “nein”. i’ve talked about this before with @softschofield, about what the pilot may have been thinking and why he stabbed tom. this honestly raises new questions for me – he doesn’t want to die and asks for help (or does he, since he seemingly doesn’t say the words in the film, at least not that we can understand), so why does he stab tom? that is honestly a fascinating concept i’d love to analyze more, but for now imma continue.

next thing – the way scho cradles blake’s head. when he first presses his hand to the wound to stop the bleeding, his hand goes to the top of tom’s back, likely for leverage more than anything. then, as tom cries out and begs him to stop, he moves his hand to cradle his head instead. so much is said in that one gesture. it’s his hand that stops tom’s head from going back any further, making sure he doesn’t hit his head on the ground, which is so so caring in and of itself. and of course, it’s an attempt at comfort. the way his fingers splay out and his touch is so gentle while his other hand keeps a constant pressure that is absolutely needed if there’s any hope of stopping the bleeding. the whole thing is paternal in its care yet also that of the affection of a beloved friend and it makes my heart ache.

you know what else hurts? scho’s absolute desperation as he tries to remind tom of what they need to do. you can just tell that he can’t think of anything else to say that would encourage tom to try and get up other than the thought of his brother. it’s not a cheap shot, per say, but it is scho grasping at straws to try and get tom’s attention and keep him lucid.

that only adds to the absolute devastation as tom seems to accept his fate, and in doing so, ends scho’s tiny bit of hope that tom could stand a chance. “you’ll recognize him,” he says, and scho wilts (though not in the way you might expect). his breathing changes, and though he’d been frantic for the past few minutes, he becomes frantic in a different way. his attention constantly diverts from his hand on tom’s wound, making sure there’s still pressure, to the barn when it collapses, and his gaze switches all around them for a few moments after that. it’s like, after the fight leaves tom, it starts to leave scho, too (well, this particular fight, the one that urges he save his friend. he recognizes now that that won’t happen). as tom loses lucidity, will loses his hope of keeping his friend alive (physically, anyways. tom never truly dies, in his heart, but that’s for another day). all he can do now is be honest with him and comfort him in his final moments.

but honesty, in this moment, does not exactly come easy for will. he doesn’t even think of lying to him, no, but it takes some thought to consider what he should say and how he should say it and some effort to get the words out. his chin drops to his chest, and he can’t look at his friend as he tells him he’s dying. but he looks at him after. he waits to see how he’ll take it, ready to do whatever he needs to comfort tom. and i think tom’s reaction just hurts him even more. you can see it in that motion he does when tom starts to tremble even more and the sobs bubble under the surface. i don’t quite know how to describe it, but it’s this little breath that makes his shoulders rise up and down noticeably, and he pulls blake closer. it makes me wonder what scho would have done if blake’s reaction was different, or if he had wants or expectations for how he would react.

i’ve talked about the photo before, so i won’t touch on that much this time, but what i really notice at this point is tom’s breathing. it’s wheezing and rattling and wow i don’t like thinking about it much. oh, and don’t think about how scho moves his hand around so much and how tom is laid in his lap but it seems like it isn’t close enough given how much scho keeps pulling him closer, little by little.

next up on the pain train is tom’s “i wish that… i wish…” do you see the look on scho’s face while he waits for whatever will come out of tom’s mouth? he’s clearly hanging onto every word, because he knows any of them will be blake’s last, but it’s like he doesn’t want to hear this part. because what could follow, “tell my family i love them and i wish…”? what does a dying man wish for in his final moments as it concerns his family? usually, their presence. their comfort. but i don’t think tom would want will to tell his mom, “he wishes you were there when he died.” that isn’t what tom wanted. the only thing i can really think of is that maybe tom wished he hadn’t enlisted after all. i think he was finally wishing he would have just stayed home with his mum. but, even then, i don’t think he fully wanted that – that’s why he didn’t say it.

but that would explain why scho suddenly can’t look at him, though he’s undoubtedly listening. does he wish tom stayed home? yes, mostly, because a boy like tom doesn’t belong in a war like this, doesn’t deserve a death like this, caused in part by his own kindness. it means that he wouldn’t have met tom though, and i think he struggles with figuring out whether that would have been for the best.

we’ll never know though, will we? and boy doesn’t that hurt

and here’s where i’d like to finish – what i think tom’s final thoughts consisted of. not fully formed, no, he was nowhere near lucid enough for a stream of consciousness, but he could still conceptualize things. the last thing he sees is scho, since he looks up at him to meet his eyes when he begs him to talk to him, and then he closes his eyes as he listens. scho’s grip is the last thing he feels besides the pain, pulling him ever-closer to comfort the both of them in some infinitesimal way. the last thing he hears is of his brother. at first, i was so caught up in the parallelism of scho’s description (“just like you, a little older”) that i didn’t immediately take tom into account. the last thing he hears and acknowledges is “brother”, based on his little nod. after that word, i don’t think anything else registers, even as he takes one last, shaky breath. tom blake dies with the vision of his best friend and the conceptualized image of his brother as the last thing on his mind (two of the things, the people he loved most in this world).

there you have it folks. a nearly 1300-word analysis of tom’s final moments. i can see myself out now, if you’d like.

[neighbourskid]

2020

What a year, huh? Surely not anything anyone has expected to happen when we woke up on this day a year ago. I certainly haven’t. I’m not even sure, now, where to begin to sum up this year like I’ve done years prior. But then again... I may just as well just dive right into all the media I consumed this year, as I have done every year. I haven’t kept track as detailed as I have last year, but my year was definitely punctuated by pieces of entertainment that have come into my life.

Continuing on from 2019, my obsession with Good Omens was still going strong. Which was ideal, since I was gonna spend the first half of the year writing my Bachelor thesis on it. The intensity of the obsession may have waned a bit since, but I still love that show and book dearly and hold it close to my heart, and I don’t think that will ever stop. But while Good Omens was certainly an overall theme throughout my year, there were some other things that actually stood out.

With January came new episodes of Doctor Who, and having returned to that particular bandwagon the year prior, I was all about that. Jodie’s second season finally brought what I had longed for in her first--a darker kind of Doctor. She wasn’t quite as bubbly anymore, you could finally see some of the depths in the character that I loved so in the previous regenerations, which made me love Peter’s Doctor so incredibly much. In this season, I felt, Jodie was finally becoming the Doctor. Overall, that season catered to me personally every single episode. So many of the time periods they visited were of people I loved, and the introduction of Sacha Dhawan as the Master was absolutely....well, masterful. Sacha is brilliant in that role and I am utterly stunned by his talent. Although both John Simm and Michelle Gomez brought things to the Master that I liked, it’s Sacha’s completely unhinged take on it that made me finally like the character. He’s a madman and I love it.

The next major thing was The Good Place. I tend to have a talent of getting into shows just as they either ended their entire show, or the final season is just coming up. It’s happened quite a bit, and it was the same with this. I finally binged the show early in January and it would end its final season at the end of the month. True to form, I was completely obsessed with it for about a month, before I only occasionally thought about it again. But, thinking back now, I get this incredibly fond feeling for this show, and I remember that the finale absolutely wrecked me and I basically ugly sobbed through the entirety of it. Also very true to form, actually. I want to rewatch it again some time, but honestly preferably with someone who has never seen it before. Which, obviously, is a difficult thing to do given, well, everything.

Next up is something that surprised me a lot. In the middle of having to write my BA thesis, my procrastination thought it would be a great idea to rewatch and catch up on the entirety of Criminal Minds. And so I binged 15 seasons of that instead of writing my thesis. Which, coincidentally, had also just aired its final season not long before I started my binge in March. Rewatching this, I realised just how little I took in of the actual, like, stuff in the show when I first watched it as a teen. Although I mostly cared about the characters and their found family this time around--although I do find the cases really fascinating most of the time too--I noticed just how much I am not watching this for the fact that they are in the FBI. I was hyperaware of how often they shot at people before doing anything else, how many of the suspects died before ever being questioned or being brought in, and it made my skin crawl. I am aware how fucked up the criminal justice system is, and especially in the US, how the police functions and how incredibly glorified they are in the media. But rewatching this show, I realised how little I actually paid attention to anything when I was younger. Big yikes. Still, I remembered my love for these characters, and I really enjoyed that rewatch a whole lot. Found family will always get to me.

Once I finished writing my thesis and handed it in early in July, I then found my next momentary obsession: Community. The show had finally come to Netflix earlier in the year and a friend of mine had watched it then. I remember watching that pilot episode back then and being completely uninterested in watching it. The comedy felt like it wasn’t quite up my street, the characters were entirely unlikeable, and I especially disliked Jeff who the show was more or less centred around. I binged Criminal Minds instead, but then decided to give it another try. And, well, I watched it twice through without taking a break to watch something else in-between. Ironically, and maybe actually unsurprisingly, Jeff ended up being my favourite and I found myself relating a lot to him and his arc throughout the series. I even found myself writing some short ficlet-like things in the notes app on my phone. I made an attempt at starting a third watch, but I guess then the month was up, and my brain decided it was time for something else. My hyperfixations usually tend to die out after about a month. Which is why my complete devotion to Good Omens was a pleasant surprise. I did, however, end up watching quite a bit of Joel McHale and Ken Jeong’s The Darkest Timeline podcast throughout August. 

Early in September, while already preparing for the new term at uni, and my first semester in my Master’s studies, I then turned to New Girl. Friends of mine had seen it and recommended it, and I remember watching probably the entire first season on TV while I was in San Diego the first time around back in 2016. Or at least I think it was the entire first season. Either way, I binged that whole thing, realised through Nick Miller that the go-to character I am drawn to and tend to project on in any piece of media is usually what I like to call “the garbage man,” which Nick is a prime example of. And although I spent a month watching the show in-between starting university again and volunteering at a film festival, I didn’t spend much time afterward thinking about it and moved on to other things rather quickly. I enjoyed watching it, that much I remember, and I’m pretty sure I cried at the finale because it was done wonderfully, but seeing as another month was up, my brain was probably like “okay fine that’s enough”.

I then spent most of fall and early winter watching every single bad Christmas movie available on Netflix, which was quite fun. In that moment of festivity, I also watched a movie I found absolutely brilliant and fell in love with immediately. It’s a beautiful movie called Jingle Jangle, it has a magnificent soundtrack and is absolutely incredible. I had no idea Forest Whitaker could sing and he completely blew me away. If you haven’t seen it already, I highly recommend it. It doesn’t matter that Christmas is already over, it’s beautiful either way.

By the time December finally rolled around, I was already over the whole Christmas thing, to be honest and I turned away from festive movies or shows, and eventually ended up finally picking up a gem I had heard much about and had been meaning to watch for a while. A show which, as it were, also aired its final season earlier this year. This little show is Schitt’s Creek. I will be going on about what this show means to me probably in another post at length, but for now just let me say: if you haven’t seen it, find some place to watch it, and put this beautiful show in your eyeballs. I am on my second run through already (although I’ve seen the second half of the show a second time already while watching it with a friend on their first run through), and it brings me so much fucking joy. It’s a gift, this show. And it will likely stay with me for a very, very long time.

That’s about it for the big things. I also watched a whole lot of other stuff, including entirely new things, or just newly released seasons of things I was already watching. Here’s what I can remember off the top of my head:

Charlie’s Angels (2020). The Night Manager. The Witcher. Dolittle (2020). The Librarians (rewatch). Harley Quinn (2020). Sonic the Hedgehog (2020). The Chef Show (S1 part 3, S2 part 1). Avenue 5. Money Heist (part 4). The Good Fight (S4). Brooklyn Nine-Nine (S7). DuckTales (2017 reboot). Frankenstein live. Staged (2020). Hamilton. Sense8. Julie and the Phantoms. The Boys in the Band. One Night in Miami. Enola Holmes. Supernova. His Dark Materials (S2). Happiest Season. The Great Canadian Baking Show.

I also got some reading done in-between what I had to read for my thesis in spring, and then for regular university courses in fall. Here’s some of what I can remember:

Anthony Horowitz, The House of Silk. Ramona Meisel, Sunblind. Donna Tartt, The Secret History. Good Omens novel and script book. Matt Forbeck, Leverage: The Con Job. Keith R.A. Decandido, Leverage: The Zoo Job. Greg Cox, Leverage: The Bestseller Job. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Lost Lamp. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Mother Goose Chase. Greg Cox, The Librarians and the Pot of Gold. Neil Gaiman, Marvel 1602. Christina Henry, The Lost Boy. Neil Gaiman, Norse Mythology. John Green, An Abundance of Katherines. Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh. Maria Konnikova, The Confidence Game. 

Having mulled over all this entertainment I consumed in 2020, there are also some non-tv or book things I need to point out. As many, many other people around the globe, I have also spent a large amount of time this year on my Nintendo Switch, playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It is a game I have waited for since the Switch was first announced, and I fell in love with it from the moment the first trailer dropped. It has brought me great joy in this weird fucking year, and I have more or less consistently played it since it came out in March. I ended this year with the in-game New Year’s Eve celebration and I feel like that summed up this year quite neatly and appropriately.

This year also brought with it another game very close to my heart: Super Mario Sunshine. With their release of Super Mario 3D All-Stars in September, Nintendo finally brought my all-time favourite Mario game to my all-time favourite console, and I played the entire game through in the first week of owning it, in-between university courses and volunteering at the film festival. Also contained in that package was Super Mario Galaxy which I have also played through in its entirety since. All that’s left for me now is Super Mario 64, which I am excited to play through in the coming year.

And to round off my year of entertainment, there are two more things I would like to mention. First, David Tennant Does A Podcast With..., which released its second season this summer. It is one of the only, if not the only podcast I keep up to date with and listen to immediately whenever a new episode drops. I’ve loved the first season dearly, and David came back with some incredibly fantastic guests for the second season as well. I can’t wait for what the podcast will bring in the future, but I will wait patiently until it is time. I can highly recommend it for everyone who likes interesting conversations between lovely people who clearly adore each other a whole lot.

And finally, while this year brought a whole lot of bullshit with it, it also gave me something I never thought possible and did not even dare to imagine in my wildest dreams. My all-time favourite show announced that it would be rebooted with the same main cast (minus one), a new wonderful member, and involvement of the original creators, and even started filming already in summer. Leverage is coming back. I still cannot believe it. I hoped for a movie, always. That maybe one day, they might bring the gang back together, for one last job, just one more encore. But to get a whole new tv-show with Aldis, Christian, Gina and Beth returning? With the addition of Noah Wyle? I can’t wrap my head around it. I am so excited for this. I predict that I will ugly sob through the entirety of the pilot episode, if not the first season, and will have to rewatch every episode because of it, but I have no doubt that it will be brilliant and wonderful.

True to form, I have now gone on about tv shows and movies for far too long, and haven’t really said anything about this year at all. 2020 was fucking weird. And I don’t think 2021 will be much different quite yet. I wrote an entire BA thesis in 2020. I successfully finished by Bachelor’s degree and started my Master’s studies and even got some excellent first grades in as well. I was lucky enough to be able to see some friends and family throughout the year, and even celebrate my birthday with a small circle of friends. I’ve become closer with friends, shared experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world, and, I think, maybe also grown a bit as a person.

I started this year excited to finally be able to start taking testosterone in February, and to finish the first part of my studies by summer. Although I did both of these things, they didn’t happen quite how I imagined them, but I am glad that I could do these things nevertheless.

2020 was a hell year, for sure. But there were some moments in there that I wouldn’t want to lose.

I’ve tried very hard to not be optimistic about this upcoming year, and rather take a more realistic, even pessimistic approach. But I can’t help but be hopeful. Hopeful that this year will be kind to us, and if it isn’t, that at least, we’ll be kind to ourselves and each other. It won’t be easy, and not much will change, I think. But we have to approach the coming time with kindness and compassion. That’s where I’m at currently. And I think that’s all for now.

Be well, friends, and take care.

[nerteragranadensis]

assorted thoughts on my first Leverage rewatch since I binged the whole series in 2016 (spoilers for everything through s3e4 The Scheherazade Job):

it’s really cool to see just how much character relationship stuff is set up in the early seasons, before it gets stated more explicitly in s4/s5.

Hardison/Parker is a perfect example- Hardison flirts with Parker in "The Nigerian Job”, and there’s explicit romantic tension btwn them in “The Wedding Job”. That’s episode seven in the broadcast order, but if you watch in the DVD/intended order, that’s episode three. it’s amazing to see how early that relationship is set up and how slow the burn is, especially considering it’s an interracial ship- and it’s great to have the writers follow through with it by the end of the show.

another example is Parker becoming the mastermind- there’s a handful of episodes in s2 where she’s clearly shadowing Nate and observing his plans (The Order 23 Job, The Top Hat Job, The Lost Heir Job, and The Runway Job come to mind), and in The Inside Job Nate and Hardison straight-up say that Parker’s plans for breaking into the steranko building were as solid as anything Nate ever came up with. In season 3.

y’all were right, Parker grifting in The Iceman Job is incredibly hot

every episode is good, I love all of them, but the two-parter of The Three Strikes Job/The Maltese Falcon back-to-back blew my fucking socks off this time around

it’s so good. it’s so good. there are so many small things that I love. Eliot having to play baseball and actually getting really into it. (”They named a sandwich after me!”) The mob stuff, which is especially funny when every other episode of s2 involves some kind of mob activity (you’ve got the Armenian mob, the Russian mob, the Irish mob, the Chinese triads... seriously). Sophie coming back at the end, a twist that I completely forgot about, which made it that much better--seriously, I probably made the same face Nate did when she showed up.

Nate and Hardison pretending to be mob guys to interrogate the mayor... ngl, I thought it was a little bit hot

I love any kind of grift/subterfuge where the characters pretend to be People They Definitely Aren’t, so it was fun on that level too

and the ending of The Maltese Falcon Job... wow. I remember being impressed even the first time I saw it, because it’s an ending that ties seasons 1 & 2 together into one big arc not only for Nate but for the team. It’s incredibly dramatic (the double cross! the self sacrifice! the kiss! Nate gets shot!) but it’s not a cliffhanger, it gives us a real ending for these characters... they truly could’ve ended the show after season 2 and it would’ve been a complete, compelling story. Obviously I’m glad they didn’t! but just the fact that they could have... the writing on this show, I swear

If I didn’t already know that Sophie’s arc in s2 was written that way to shoot around Gina Bellman’s pregnancy, I would’ve never figured it out. Sophie’s arc in s2 is so good! It actually makes sense why she would want time off to explore and maybe find herself! and the rest of the team ends up growing from it, too! so many fun episodes of s2 hinge on Sophie, even if she’s not physically there. And again, the fact that she’s gone for most of the second half of s2 makes her return in the finale that much better.

Sophie cons her own team at the end of season one and Nate cons his own team at the end of season two. it’s parallelism

Moving on to season 3- The Reunion Job is so extra. I’m not even sure if it’s a good episode, but it sure as hell is fun

The last episode I saw was The Scheherazade Job, which I remember disliking the first time I saw it. I thought the hypnosis twist was dumb, came out of nowhere, and took agency away from Hardison. On review... I think I’ve softened to it. The episode points out that the hypnosis was kind of an asshole move; Nate outright tells Hardison that being the mastermind sometimes means manipulating your own team (and that’s something Hardison won’t do, because he’s a sweetheart <3). And the episode also notes that Hardison always had the skill to play that violin solo, just not the confidence. I still think the hypnosis thing is a little out there, but what holds the episode together for me is that final heist sequence. Organizing a heist set to a musical performance? Amazing. Brilliant. Showstopping. The opera scene from mission impossible: rogue nation wants what this episode has

and then Hardison gets up to play his solo and he plays it and it’s so beautiful that literally everyone stops to listen. Everyone is moved, including me. Parker starts crying. the team almost blows the entire con, just to hear Hardison play, and it’s worth it. It’s just... a breathtaking scene.

I... really like Nate. I love the whole team, obviously, and if you asked me to pick a favorite character I’d have a really hard time, but I do like Nate. I think he’s interesting and even relatable (in a few specific ways. Nate is also an asshole and I do not want to be like him). This is kind of unfortunate in light of the recent allegations against Timothy Hutton (tw for sexual assault if you follow that link). I’m still working through my feelings w/r/t Leverage since this news broke. obviously it hasn’t stopped me from rewatching the show, but... I don’t know. I still struggle w/ how to engage with media that I love when one or more of the people who created that media (and those characters) was a sexual predator. At the very least, I am glad that Hutton won’t be returning for the Leverage reboot.

[prettyboyspenceee]

Almost

Request: “Hey! I was wondering if you could write an angsty Reid x reader where they are dating and both are in the BAU. Reader and him are evacuating people from a building with the bomb in it and the second Spencer gets to a safe place from the building, it blows up with the reader supposedly in it. basically very angsty but with a happy end where she survives and they reunite after the explosion 🙏���❤️” - @barbarachern​

A/N: YESS. I am loving this concept so I am so excited to write it. I hope you like my interpretation! If this flops, Mr. Scratch wrote it. I also want to thank you guys on all the love for Like Teenagers! Thank you! I used the season 7 finale as inspiration for this. I was rewatching that episode yesterday and I couldn’t resist using it. I also tweaked it a bit, I hope you still like it!

Description: The Reader and Spencer both work at the BAU and it’s always a stressful time when the entire team is out in the field. When the bomb squad doesn’t account for one last bomb, things go terribly wrong. 

Character Appearances: Derek Morgan, Penelope Garcia, Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Emily Prentiss

OC’s: Captain Seymour, The Joseph Brothers 

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, if I did, Reid would be HAPPY. 

Remember, writing is never perfect!

Warnings: angst (ish)

Female Reader! x Spencer Reid

(Y/N) - Your Name 

(Y/L/N) - Your Last Name

Word Count: 1,381

Posted: September 30th, 2019

--- 

As soon as you and Spencer got to work you were already out the door again with the rest of the team. The bullpen was filled with Homeland Security, field agents, Metro PD, and just about any law enforcement personnel you could think of. 

“Reid, (Y/L/N), head to the SUVs, we have hostages and multiple bombs at the GreenValley Family Center.” Hotch quickly debriefed you on what was going on as you and the rest of the team rushed downstairs. 

“How did the Unsubs past security?” JJ asked

“They posed as maintenance workers, it gave them easy access inside,” Hotch replied 

You and Spencer shared a look. You both knew something about the day was off, but you couldn’t figure out why. 

--- 

When the team got to the museum you began to figure out your strategy with the bomb squad.

“Captain Seymour, I’m Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and this is my partner Dr. Spencer Reid, what can you tell us about what is going on inside?” 

“Not much. 911 calls reported that there was a shot that rang out through the museum, after that, no one could reach them.” He replied with a grim look. You nodded in response and walked back to your team. 

You and Spencer told the team what you learned, “We need to open a line of communication. (Y/L/N), you’re going to take the lead on this while the rest of the team comes up with a plan. Rossi will be here to guide you,” Hotch directed the attention of the team to you. 

You took a deep breath and wrung your hands together. You could see the worry in Spencer’s eyes as you nodded, “Okay. Tell Garcia to forward everything you guys find.” 

As Spencer and the rest of the team left to their respective positions he couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. To say the least, he was worried for you. You were his light in the darkness, he thought he would never find someone like that after Maeve. When Spencer found you, he knew that you were his soulmate. 

He knew was that something was different about this case, he just couldn’t figure out what.

--- 

The phone rang twice before someone picked it up on the other end, “Hello? Who is this?” a gruff voice answered the phone. 

“Hello. My name is Agent (Y/N) (Y/L/N), but you can call me (Y/N). Whom am I speaking with?” 

“Carl Edgar Joseph. You’re speaking with Carl Edgar Joseph.” You looked up at Rossi quickly, he sent the name to Garcia. You were confused, he had given up his identity too quickly. 

“Alright, Carl. I’m here to help you, I can get you out of this. I just need you to let the hostages go. Send the women and children out first.” 

He scoffed, “Why should I do that?” 

You paused for a minute, “(Y/L/N), his younger brother, Raegan, was shot. Someone inside shot him. Use that as leverage.” You nodded as Rossi fed you the information. 

“Carl, I know Raegan is hurt. I can get him the help he needs but only if you give me what I need.” 

You heard him breathing over the phone and then a deep sigh, “There are 4 bombs. One for each door except for the front. I’ll let them all out,” You heard him take another deep breath, “Help Raegan.” 

You saw Hotch signal to SWAT, the Bomb Squad and your own team to move in. All of the hostages were accounted for as well as the Unsubs. All the bombs Joseph told you about were accounted for and disabled. As the rest of the team evacuated the last of the hostages you did a final sweep of the building. You noticed that as you got further in the building your coms began to turn to static. You weren’t worried though, something about the static calmed you. You took your earpiece out and looked to your left and you paused, you were alone with a ticking clock attached to explosives and no way to contact your team.

---

As Derek brought out Carl Joseph, Spencer noticed something was off about him. Joseph locked eyes with Spencer, he smirked, “One more!” he said, his eyes gleamed with malice and ice. 

Derek watched as Spencer approached Carl, “One more what?” 

He grinned, “One more bomb,” and suddenly everything made sense to Spencer. Carl was a classic narcissist. He shot his brother and played (Y/N). He needed the attention, he needed the recognition, he had been planning this for weeks, maybe months, “Everyone will know my name. You’ll never forget it, Carl Edgar Joseph, the man who killed the Princess of the BAU.” 

Penelope, JJ, Emily, Derek, Rossi, and Hotch all stopped in their tracks. Only they called (Y/N), Princess, it was an inside joke regarding her Halloween costume from one year. It was clear that Carl was watching them. He carefully executed his plan to make sure that is was (Y/N) to open a line of communication, he made sure that she was going to be the last one out. He knew that killing a federal agent that held the team together would get the most recognition. (Y/N) was his endgame. 

Derek pushed Carl into the arms of a Metro PD officer and the rest of the team quickly turned to the family center. A large boom echoed across the streets of Washington D.C. JJ, Emily, Derek, and Hotch rushed to Spencer pulling him back from the explosion. 

“LET ME GO” Spencer yelled. The rest of the team struggled to pull the young doctor back from the flames as they watched the burning building helplessly.

--- 

You knew you didn’t have a lot of time. 30 seconds was on the clock and there was no way you could run back to the front of the building. You couldn’t die, not like this. You hadn't told the team you loved them today, you hadn't said "I love you" to Spencer yet. There were still things for you to do. 

You racked your brain for a solution, but then you remembered the blueprints. 300 feet to your right was an exit that led to the back of the safe zone where the team was. You had a chance. You sprinted to the exit and as soon as you stepped out the door, you were thrown by the blast. 

---

As soon as the flames died down Spencer broke through the hold of his colleagues, "Spencer! You can't just go running in there, we don't have eyes in there!" JJ yelled.

"Like hell, I can't. JJ, what if it was Will? I love (Y/N), I can't lose her, " He saw Emily begin to open her mouth, "Spare me the lecture, Emily. I'm going in." He turned away from his team making his way to the building. 

--- 

“Spence! Stop!” You called out. You were clutching your ribs and you felt some blood trickling down your face, but you were alive. You saw Spencer swivel around and sprint to you.

The rest of the team watched as Spencer pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, “Oh my god, you’re okay. You’re alive,” He whispered in your ear. 

“Spence, you’re hurting me.” Your words were muffled by his Kevlar vest but he let you go. 

He looked at you with tear-filled eyes, “You’re alive. You almost died,” he repeated. 

“Of course I’m alive, Spence. The keyword there was almost, I wasn’t going to die without telling you I loved you.” 

He grinned, “I love you too, (Y/N).” He pressed a hard kiss against your lips, never wanting to let you go. 

The team watched as the couple reunited. They were broken apart by a loud whistle, “Alright lovebirds. Let’s get this Princess to the hospital.” Derek said with a smirk. 

The team let out a collective laugh, all relieved that you were safe and sound. The ambulance made an exception and allowed the team to ride in the back with you, they couldn’t help but smile at the faint whispers of ‘I love you’s” and forehead kisses.

You and Spencer were soulmates. There was no doubt about it.

--- 

[tbhwhocaresanymore]

Nancy Drew 1x16

Oh my God you guys it has been so long since I have been able to watch a show that is so well written that has clearly been planned out from the beginning where the viewers have been able to theorize and have it pay off and Jesus Christ it is GLORIOUS. If I ever write for a show I would want to work with these writers on a show like this.

Before anything else let me start off gloating that I started calling Nancy as Lucy and Ryan’s daughter back around episode 9 or 10 and I am so fucking vindicated right now, I have been riding an otherwise unattainable high nonstop for the past three days. @kat--writes is this how you feel when you accurately predict things??? Because it feels AMAZING.

For the rest of the episode first can I just say how horribly tragic Lucy Sable is? Kudos to the writers because it was a stunning plot twist that I never saw coming but for some reason it’s almost worse than a murder to me? If for no other reason than how it has affected and will continue to affect everyone around her. Ryan who is now going to be even more guilt ridden about not getting to the ice cream parlor on time, Karen and Josh trying to avenge a murder that never even happened, Tiffany Hudson who died for nothing, Nancy who will be forever wondering if her mother slipped and fell or if she really did kill herself right after Nancy was born because if anything will give you an abandonment complex it’s that.

And hearing Carson say what happened that night with Lucy (PHENOMENAL acting by the way, maybe best scene of the season so far) makes rewatching the earlier episodes, especially 7/8 where Nancy was accusing Carson of murdering Lucy so much more tragic. This girl who he and his wife clearly cared for and felt sympathy for, begging him with her last words to take care of her daughter, knowing he looked away for less than two seconds and probably spending weeks if not months if not years questioning if he’d just looked up a half a second sooner if maybe Lucy would still be alive. Seeing Lucy’s daughter, his daughter, accuse him of murdering Lucy had to be a gut punch and it gives his character so much more depth. I just hope this doesn't put too much of a strain on his relationship with Nancy because they have finally gotten to such a good place and as far as Carson is concerned Nancy is his daughter, and he wasn’t trying to lie to her about Lucy. All he was trying to do was respect Lucy’s dying wish and protect her from the Hudsons. I mean he was willing to go to prison for murder before admitting what happened on the bluffs that night, that should count for something.

Moving away from the Shakespearean levels of tragedy for a moment.

God I fucking KNEW Owen was shady I have known it since the beginning. Granted I do not have absolute confirmation yet BUT: him being in his car outside the Claw when he said he would be out of town, holding a piece of Lucy Sable’s skull? (As far as the skull goes though, loved that bit of Bess/George/Nick teamwork to casually hide it from the cops.) Creepy bastard, thy name is Owen. I have no idea how it will play out yet but I hope to God that it will. But also that is going to be a bit of a blow to Bess, finding out her cousin is whatever he is, and also Nancy who literally just had sex with him.

Speaking of.

Much as it pains me to admit, the writers are clearly taking several steps away from Nancy x Nick for the moment, probably to give Nick x George a fighting chance. Side question. Why is Nick sleeping on a couch when he has over four and a half million dollars? Like he could afford to build a house with that much money. But I digress. I think it will be good for George to have a love interest who is A her own age and B not married, especially someone who she already had a good friendship with. Maybe since Owen is a Confirmed Shady Motherfucker the writers will either keep Nancy single for awhile or pair her up with Ace because their chemistry is off the charts. And as long as we’re on the romance topic, Bess. BESS. My sweet queer daughter. Where are Lisbeth and Amaya? Last time we saw Lisbeth they admitted they were kind of falling in love and slept with each other, last (and first) time we saw Amaya I fell in love and she and Bess had more chemistry than a high school sophomore. GIVE ME MY ON SCREEN BESS ROMANCE DRAMA WRITERS. And am I the only one who finds it a little bit weird that Bess is apparently so good at other people’s relationships when she has never really had one before?

I’m going to take a quick minute to be sad about Nancy x Nick so if you don’t like that you can skip this paragraph. NED NICKERSON. How the FUCK can you be so totally fine with Nancy sleeping with Owen when you two are clearly soulmates and you never liked him anyway? After the inevitable Owen betrayal possibly one of two things will happen with Nancy. She will regress and start to push people (read: love interests) even further away than before, OR she will finally really start to open up to Nick and they will find their way back to each other. Admittedly the second one is unlikely since Nick and George literally just got together but you never know. Just as long as Nick doesn’t cheat on George with Nancy because those two are finally friends and are really good friends to boot, and also George deserves way better especially post Ryan Hudson affair debacle. Maybe she and Nancy can bond over having shady not good for them older boyfriends.

On the topic of Ryan being Nancy’s biological dad every time George complains about Nancy asking favors I want her response to be “you had sex with my dad” every time.

Now we will talk about the promo for the as of now untitled next episode and also what the rest of the season and possibly season 2 have planned.

In episode 17 Ryan will clearly be Going Through Some Stuff, and will also find out that Lucy was pregnant. Whether he realizes she had the baby or thinks it died with her remains to be determined, but that shot of Nancy with a busted lip and her hair cut off in a car being driven by Ryan makes me think maybe he snaps and kidnaps her? It’s a bit of a stretch but it would certainly be interesting. I think we’re also going to see more of the Aglaeca coming after Nancy for not paying the toll, because for a minute we can see Nancy sort of choking and putting her hand to her throat like she’s about to throw up again. Maybe it’s going to keep coming after Nancy until they finally let the Aglaeca have Owen, or maybe its going to try to kill Nancy as punishment for saving Owen. I don’t know but I can’t wait to find out.

For the rest of the season/next season there are a couple threads not related to Ryan finding out Nancy is his daughter. There’s the new detective but I’m not talking about him. Joshua Dude, Lucy’s brother. He is still out and about wherever he is, and does not know his sister killed herself. This will probably not exonerate Ryan in his mind as Ryan’s family is part of what drove Lucy to suicide. Maybe he will come back and decide to sort of take revenge on A the Hudsons or B the town of Horseshoe Bay as revenge for what they did to Lucy. (Sort of like the Black Hood from Riverdale but you know, well done.) There is also Everett Hudson. Last time I checked he had just been arrested for sinking the Bonny Scot and racketeering and insurance fraud and stuff, what the hell is he doing at a yacht club? I can only assume he got out on bail so maybe we will see Nancy (possibly together with Ryan) work to put him behind bars for good. Maybe Carson Drew will finally leverage some of that dirty laundry he has on the Hudsons, or better yet that Grecian urn thing Ryan has will finally be put to good use. And then in the future although there is zero proof of this I still want A for George to become clairvoyant/psychic like her mother and B for George and Bess to be cousins. I don’t think I’m asking for too much here.

Finally, because of how much of a staple character he is in the books I refuse to accept that Chief McGinnis is gone for good. My very being rebels against it. But before you scream at me about how different the show is from the books (those two or three of you who have read the books anyway) even if he were an original character I would want him to stay. He is a fantastic character, he was just starting to get depth, I adore his relationship with Ace and on top of everything else he’s good Native American representation.

I ALSO WANT VICTORIA TO COME BACK. I HAVE NOT SEEN HER SINCE 2019. WTF WRITERS. YOU CAN’T JUST MAKE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH A DYSFUNCTIONAL PSYCHIC ALCOHOLIC MOTHER LIKE THAT AND THEN ONLY PUT HER IN TWO EPISODES.

Dead Lucy should also continue to stick around, maybe she can teach Nancy how to hang from ceilings or they can bond over how much Everett Hudson Sucks. It’s just that Lucy spent all this time trying to show Nancy that she is her biological mother, and for her to move on after sticking around for 20 years right after Nancy learns the truth? It would be too - and I fully recognize I have used this word too many times but I am going to use it again - tragic.

The wait for April 8 is going to be an agony unlike any other but at least after it comes back there will only be six episodes left, and so it is very unlikely the show will go on another hiatus before the season is up. Let me know what you guys think will happen in season 2/the rest of season 1.

[noeditspace]

Catch Up Meme

Rules: tag as many people as you want to catch up with or get to know better!

I was tagged by @the-laridian (thank you :) )

Three ships (my main one right now is Rhea and Felix but my overall faves)

Gimli and Legolas

Finn, Poe, and Rey (whether it was platonic or romantic, these 3 actors had amazing chemistry and we were ROBBED of them being together)

Shepard and Garrus Vakarian (damn I love his voice)

Last songs listened to (not including all the Christmas music lol)

Lost by the Goo Goo Dolls

I Don’t Know Why by NOTD, Astrid S

Monsters by All Time Low, blackbear

Currently watching

Honestly I haven’t been able to invest in a show this year. I’ve mainly been watching youtube channels (Red Letter Media and The Rad Brad to name a few). But the last show I did watch was Schitt’s Creek and I plan to rewatch Leverage and Z Nation (for fic purposes ;P

Edited: I've been watching the Mandalorian! Can't believe I forgot this

Currently reading

I’m sorry to say I’ve had a hard time focusing on reading as well (mainly focusing on writing fanfics and playing video games). But what is on my current read list is Dune, Void Stalker, and Chilling Effect (it has psychic cats!)

How’s it going

Thankfully things have been going well for me. I still have my job and through that job I get to help others. I work better under pressure (I do not recommend this for anyone) and I feel that has helped me grow in my profession as well as in my personal life. I’m still stressed out of my mind but I’ve learned a lot about self-care and setting good boundaries with myself.

I finally did something I told myself I could never do, I WROTE FANFIC! I’ve always enjoyed imagining other stories and tales that had grand adventures, mysteries, romance, but never seemed to have the confidence to do that. 

I’ve still been able to keep in touch with friends to play Starfinder, DnD, and Pathfinder which I think has helped a lot in not going stir crazy (even an introvert like me still needs to go out sometimes).

I’ve also joined a lot of different communities (like TOW tumblr lol) and that has helped keep the burnout and craziness at bay as well. I want all this to be over but it’s nice knowing there are so many supportive people out there in person and online.

Tagging

@toastedoats42

@psybrepunk

I think most others have been tagged. (For those I did tag, please don’t feel obligated to do so!) If you haven’t been I’m sorry! but do feel free to go along if you wish. It’s so fun to read these! You all are pretty cool :)

[callunavulgari]

Year-In-Life | 2020

Or that annual New Year’s meme where I talk about what the year was like to live through. And since this is 2020 the read through below features: a whole lot of depression, frank discussion about losing my cat, and pictures of my face.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Lost my best friend. I lost a hamster when I was about ten, but other than that, I’ve never lost a pet before. Losing Mal was the worst thing about an already awful year. I have lost family members that I have mourned less than her. I am still fucked up about losing her, and probably will be for a long while yet. 

Things that I haven’t done before - 2020 edition - consists of extreme depression, global pandemics, wearing a mask if I’m not either at home or in my car, having covid, being in the ER twice in one year, cutting all carbs and losing sixty pounds, spending a weekend in Vegas (in January, obvs), gambling (and winning over a thousand dollars), and probably a lot of other things that I’ve blocked out. But it’s always going to be the year that I lost Mal.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Apparently, according to 2019 me, my resolutions were to lose weight and quit smoking. Which, strangely enough, I actually did. Who knew that going to the ER for heart issues at the age of 30 would scare me into switching some things up.So, yay! I kept my resolutions.

Resolutions for 2021 - lose the rest of the weight. End goal is only another 50 pounds away. Write something original if you can, but don’t stress if you can’t. Heal. Be happier. Breathe deep. Don’t do something you’ll regret.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? One of my coworkers had a kid earlier in the year, but nothing since.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Mal. 

5. What countries did you visit? Alternatively, what is your favorite place that you did go this year? No countries this year, because that is illegal. I did go to Las Vegas in January though, before the year turned into an absolute shitstorm. It was actually really wonderful, which I wouldn’t have expected out of Vegas. We watched our friends get married on the High Roller. Ate a lot of very good, but very expensive food. Gambled a bit and actually won money. Saw two Cirque du Soleil shows - the Beatles and water one. Saw the Bellagio fountains and maybe cried a little about it. It was really nice.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? Well, I didn’t get a ring and we didn’t get a house, but we also made the decision to not do that this year. We did however, get a better president, so that was nice. In 2021, I would like a little more serotonin and a little less anxiety. And I’m not gonna say a damn thing about a ring.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 20th, 2020. Any other dates don’t fucking matter. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I lost a ton of weight and quit smoking, hopefully for the last time. Covid didn’t kill me. I didn’t kill me. I know that sounds bad, but it was a really, really horrible year.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know. Not being able to save her? Not knowing that the heart abnormality had gotten that bad? Not getting her on clot busters the minute we took care of the thyroid problem.  10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I had Covid near the end of October and had regular illnesses a couple times throughout the year. I went to the ER in May for heart-related problems. And I’ve had debilitating headaches every single day since Covid, so. Yes. 11. What was the best thing you bought? We rescued a new kitten approximately four days after we lost Mal. It was too soon, I think, and if I could have done it again, I may have waited longer. But BMO was incredibly depressed after she passed and had basically stopped eating, so we were desperate. But I can’t regret getting her. She’s been the little bit of sunshine we’ve had since October.  12. Whose behavior merited celebration? I don’t know. Everyone and everything sucked this year. 13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? I don’t know, mine? I’ve come a long way this year in terms of weight loss and smoking and holding it together, but I’ve also sunken into the deepest hole that I’ve possibly ever been in since September. I will always be deeply frustrated by Nick’s mother and my mother, so that’s not really new. Everything sucked. Hopefully 2021 is better.

14. Where did most of your money go? Bullshit medical stuff. Turns out that two ER trips, countless doctor visits, and dental fuckery is really expensive. I did also go slightly crazy and bought Nick too many gifts this year, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t bad. Also planning on buying a relatively pricey comforter as soon as I’ve confirmed that I haven’t gotten it for Christmas. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I am going to be completely and totally serious when I say that I don’t think I’ve experienced true excitement since about February. I did get a very intense, brief spike of serotonin when I saw the new Dragon Age and Mass Effect trailers. But like. I don’t know. That’s kind of it. 

Okay, no, that’s a lie. I was happy to lose the weight I did and was super proud of myself and my health was phenomenal, but then Mal happened and covid happened and it’s hard to see the good things that happened this year when I feel this fucking horrible right now.

16. What song will always remind you of 2020? Toss a Coin to Your Witcher (because yeah, that was this year, fuck). Teeth. Don’t Get Me Wrong. The Untamed theme. Well, the entire Untamed soundtrack. Dance Monkey. We Won’t Be Falling. Promare soundtrack. Own Me. Into the Unknown. Monster. Waving Through a Window. Eurovision soundtrack. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? So much more depressed. Which says a lot, because 2019 was not super great. ii. thinner or fatter? But hey, on the plus side my answer to this question is finally thinner. iii. richer or poorer? Probably around the same. Or maybe poorer? I had a lot in my savings last year that I had to dip into because of medical shit. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I’d done... anything. I wish I was allowed to leave my house without worrying about infecting myself or others. I wish that I had gone to the park more. I wish that I’d travelled. I wish that I’d written more. I wish I’d cooked more. I wish I’d worked out. Spent more time with my cat.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? God, I fucking wish I’d spent less time in my apartment.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? I don’t know. Nick’s family wants to have a big gathering since his grandpa might not be around next year? But the idea of that makes me super flinchey, for obvious reasons. I mean, I’m reasonably sure that the antibodies are still in our system, so we have a smaller chance of infection, but fuck. Also, large gatherings have been giving me anxiety, also for obvious reasons. 21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? I hope that we’re staying home. I want to make pirozki and spend the transition into the new year on my couch, maybe playing a video game, maybe napping. 22. Did you fall in love in 2020? Still love him. He got me through this year. I don’t think I could have done it alone. 23. Best month for you this year? January through March was not horrible. I can’t remember a definitive good month of the three, but January was Vegas, which was really good, so lets go with that.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Of just 2020? The Untamed (live action and anime), The Magicians, Guardian, various Watcher Entertainment segments, She-Ra (season 5!!!), The Haunting of Bly Manor, Over the Garden Wall, Leverage, Motherland: Fort Salem...

My favorite being The Untamed, hands down. Obviously.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don’t think I have enough energy for hate at this point. I’m just tired.

26. What was the best book you read? Favorite was probably a tie between Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth, which works out well since they’re part of the same series. I really, really loved this series and am kind of sad that I have to wait until 2022 to get the third part of the trilogy. Top ten below, because why not.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

The Lost Future of Pepperharrow by Natasha Pulley

Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue by V.E. Schwab

Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner

Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur

The Last Sun (and it’s sequel) by K.D. Edwards

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Toss a Coin to Your Witcher has singlehandedly escorted me through 2020. Basically all the songs listed a couple questions up were my favorites of the year, but the Untamed soundtrack was probably my favorite. Promare soundtrack was also bomb af.

28. What did you want and got? Nick’s mom bought us nice bookshelves when we moved into the new place.

29. What did you want but didn’t get? A lot of things. Namely, I wish Mal was still with me.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Promare, 100% Most of the other movies I watched were all rewatches. I watched My Neighbor Totoro, Onward, Knives Out, Emma, and that Eurovision movie. They were all pretty swell.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I wrapped presents on the living room floor and watched Last Christmas, which I thought was just a rom-com Christmas movie but surprised the hell out of me at the reveal that her love interest was dead the whole time? Like? That came out of left field. We then had a very quiet lunch at the Lantern, the Chinese place we go every year, and ducked into Oakland Nursery and Barnes and Noble long enough to grab some plants and books. I also got to see the Easton Christmas tree from across the street. It was snowing and honestly, a really pretty day. Oh, also I had to go to the dentist. That was less fun.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I’d been able to keep Mal. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? I wore a lot of comfortable work appropriate clothes and pajamas. My clothes don’t really fit me anymore since I lost all the weight, but I refuse to buy more until I’m actually at my goal weight. 34. What kept you sane? Nick was very helpful every time I had an anxiety attack and/or broke down crying. It could have been a lot worse, probably, but I literally cannot wrap my mind around that right now. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Every single actor in the Untamed live action is unfairly gorgeous, especially Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan. Also, Henry Cavill was a shockingly good casting for Geralt and needs to be grimey all the time because he is a LOT more attractive when it looks like he hasn’t showered in three weeks. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FUCK DONALD TRUMP IN THE EAR 20156789 2020—– This has literally been my response since 2015. Here’s to hoping that it won’t be my response in 2021. Also, children in concentration camps? Lying to the public about the pandemic? The race riots that happened earlier in the year? Literally everything else? This year has been fucking awful. 37. Who did you miss? Mal. Myself when I’m not feeling like this. 38. Who was the best new person you met? Annie. New coworker, delightful lady. If the pandemic was not a thing I definitely would have already gotten drinks with her after work.

39. Talk about a new friend that you made this year: Uh. Annie is a delightful person and brought me and Nick food when we were wasting away with covid. She also gave us toilet paper when we ran out after all the assholes in the entire country bought all the toilet paper in March/April. 

40. Post a picture from the beginning of the year:

This is me in like... February? I think? In public. Without a mask. I have lots of pictures of me in January, but all of them have someone else with me.

41. Post a picture from the end of the year:

Taken on my birthday, snatched just outside the doors of Barnes & Noble with the Easton tree across the street. Note the mask dangling from my ear.

42. A memorable meal discovered this year? Okay, so like. Two things. One- I had a meal in Vegas, that was fucking amazing. Actually I had a couple of those. Let me see if I can find pictures. Okay, so below are the two best meals I have eaten this year. The top is a butternut squash and pistachio ravioli, which came with this sweet butter sauce and it was so. fucking. good. Like, I have craved this thing since January. The bottom is the beef wellington at Gordon Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen. Which was... overpriced, but admittedly still delicious. I could have lived off that damn ravioli though.

43. What was your favorite memory this year? My birthday was actually pretty okay, all things considered. The snow was magical and I felt solidly okay for most of the day. Other than that, all of the nights in Vegas were great.

44. What are you excited for next year? So, the message to me from 2019 me for this question is about how I was really sad on December 26th of 2019 and that I hoped that 2020 would be the year that we “seized life by the horns or whatever” and like. Baby. 2019 me. I realize your depression was valid, but holy fuck, my sweet summer child it got so much worse. Though, I guess technically I did seize life by the horns for a bit. And then September hit like a bag of bricks.

Anyway, I am cautiously optimistic and hopeful that the transition of power to Biden goes smoothly. I’m hoping that things get better and not worse. I’m excited for several books, movies, and games, but mostly, I’m hoping that things are better. 

45. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: My message from last year was this:

“I feel like my message from last year is fucking taunting me. Legit though, this is not the worst thing you’ve ever been through. You have a boyfriend who loves you, two wonderful cats that better not fucking die anytime soon, and like, I don’t know, working ovaries. A job. A car. An apartment that has a kind of shitty kitchen and a bath tub that might as well not exist, but is still an apartment! Which is more than some people have!”

Thanks 2019 Heather. It got worse. (Though admittedly, and knock on fucking wood, but 2019 me is right. It could technically still get worse. But I have hope that it won’t.)

My valuable life lesson in the year of 2020: Life sucks. Keep your head on straight. Mourn your dead and love your living like you’ll never see them again. Live life like you could die tomorrow. And don’t take the little things for granted. 46. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I am going to make it through this year If it kills me - This Year, The Mountain Goats

(2018 me apparently quoted Singing in the Rain. 2019 quoted something sad and pretentious. 2020 me is just tired and clinging to life by my damn fingernails.)

First Fandom of 2020: January of 2020 seems to have been solidly The Magicians, The Witcher, and The Untamed. Favorite Main Character of 2020: Wei Wuxian, fuck. Favorite Villain of 2020: Wei Wuxian, fuck. Close second if that doesn’t apply - Xue Yang. Favorite M/F Couple of 2020: Does Parker/Elliot/Hardison count? Because them, holy fuck. Also, female!Byleth/Jeritza. Favorite F/F Couple of 2020: Catra and Adora!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!! Er. Also, Harrow/Gideon.  Favorite M/M Couple of 2020: Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji. Close second is probably Ryan/Shane. Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into: Honestly, probably the Untamed. I’m not usually crazy about live actions, but fuck, it was good. Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher. Also, in the last month I have been all over Mark/Damien(/Sam) from the Bright Sessions because I just listed to Neon Darkness. Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack: Yeah, idk. There’s crack in every fandom. Last Fandom of 2020: Buzzfeed Unsolved. And honestly, I’m still not out of The Untamed.  Favorite Fandom of 2020: Definitely the Untamed. Dipping into the Witcher was also nice.