#I think the best part is that I got a B+ on this. 10 years ago that'd get me beat lmao

[defsiarte]

My drawing final this semester. It was a kind of personal piece about how overachieving for my parents' approval in high school made me feel hollow. Based on the line from Succession "He only loves the broken you."

[jadevine]

Preindustrial travel, and long explanations on why different distances are like that

Update March 1, 2024: Hey there folks, here's yet another update! I reposted Part 2a (the "medieval warhorses" tangent) to my writing blog, and I went down MORE of the horse-knowledge rabbit hole! https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/741423906984951808/my-post-got-cut-off-so-i-added-the-rest-of-it Update Jan 30, 2024: Hey folks, I've posted the updated version of this post on my blog, so I don't have to keep frantically telling everyone "hey, that's the old version of this post!" https://thebalangay.wordpress.com/2024/01/29/preindustrial-travel-times-part-1/

I should get the posts about army travel times and camp followers reformatted and posted to my blog around the end of the week, so I'll filter through my extremely tangled thread for them.

Part 2 - Preindustrial ARMY travel times: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask

Part 2a - How realistic warhorses look and act, because the myth of "all knights were mounted on huge clunky draft horses" just refuses to die: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/732043691180605440/helpful-things-for-action-writers-to-remember

Part 3 - Additional note about camp followers being regular workers AND sex-workers: https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/740604203134828544/reblogging-the-time-looped-version-of-my

--

I saw a post on my main blog about how hiking groups need to keep pace with their slowest member, but many hikers mistakenly think that the point of hiking is "get from Point A to Point B as fast as possible" instead of "spending time outdoors in nature with friends," and then they complain that a new/less-experienced/sick/disabled hiker is spoiling their time-frame by constantly needing breaks, or huffing and puffing to catch up.

I run into a related question of "how long does it take to travel from Point A to Point B on horseback?" a lot, as a fantasy writer who wants to be SEMI-realistic; in the Western world at least, our post-industrial minds have largely forgotten what it's like to travel, both on our own feet and in groups.

People ask the new writer, "well, who in your cast is traveling? Is getting to Point B an emergency or not? What time of year is it?", and the newbies often get confused as to why they need so much information for "travel times." Maybe new writers see lists of "preindustrial travel times" like a primitive version of Google Maps, where all you need to do is plug in Point A and Point B.

But see, Google Maps DOES account for traveling delays, like different routes, constructions, accidents, and weather; you as the person will also need to figure in whether you're driving a car versus taking a bus/train, and so you'll need to figure out parking time or waiting time for the bus/train to actually GET THERE.

The difference between us and preindustrial travelers is that 1) we can outsource the calculations now, 2) we often travel for FUN instead of necessity.

The general rule of thumb for preindustrial times is that a healthy and prime-aged adult on foot, or a rider/horse pair of fit and prime-aged adults, can usually make 20-30 miles per day, in fair weather and on good terrain.

Why is this so specific? Because not everyone in preindustrial times was fit, not everyone was healthy, not everyone was between the ages of 20-35ish, and not everyone had nice clear skies and good terrain to travel on.

If you are too far below 18 years old or too far past 40, at best you will need either a slower pace or more frequent breaks to cover the same distance, and at worst you'll cut the travel distance in half to 10 or so miles. Too much walking is VERY BAD on too-young/old knees, and teenagers or very short adults may just have short legs even if they're fine with 8-10 hours of actual walking. Young children may get sick of walking and pitch a fit because THEY'RE TIREDDDDDDDDDD, and then you might need to stay put while they cry it out, or an adult may sigh and haul them over their shoulder (and therefore be weighed down by about 50lbs of Angry Child).

Heavy forests, wetlands and rocky hills/mountains are also going to be a much shorter "distance" per day. For forests or wetlands, you have to account for a lot of villagers going "who's gonna cut down acres of trees for one road? NOT ME," or "who's gonna drain acres of swamp for one road? NOT ME." Mountainous regions have their traveling time eaten by going UP, or finding a safer path that goes AROUND, so by the time you're done slogging through drier patches of wetlands or squeezing through trees, a deceptively short 10-15 miles in rough terrain might take you a whole day to walk instead of the usual half-day.

If you are traveling in freezing winters or during a rainstorm (and this inherently means you HAVE NO CHOICE, because nobody in preindustrial times would travel in bad weather if they could help it), you run the high risk of losing your way and then dying of exposure or slipping and breaking your neck, just a few miles out of the town/village.

Traveling in TOO-HOT weather is just as bad, because pushing yourself too hard and getting dehydrated at noon in the tropics will literally kill you. It's called heat-STROKE, not "heat-PARTY."

And now for the upper range of "traveling on horseback!"

Fully mounted groups can usually make 30-40 miles per day between Point A and Point B, but I find there are two unspoken requirements: "Point B must have enough food for all those people and horses," and "the mounted party DOESN'T need to keep pace with foot soldiers, camp followers, or supply wagons."

This means your mounted party would be traveling to 1) a rendezvous point like an ally's camp or a noble's castle, or 2) a town/city with plenty of inns. Maybe they're not literally going 30-40 miles in one trip, but they're scouting the area for 15-20 miles and then returning to their main group. Perhaps they'd be going to an allied village, but even a relatively small group of 10-20 warhorses will need 10-20 pounds of grain EACH and 20-30 pounds of hay EACH. 100-400 pounds of grain and 200-600 pounds of hay for the horses alone means that you need to stash supplies at the village beforehand, or the village needs to be a very large/prosperous one to have a guaranteed large surplus of food.

A dead sprint of 50-60 miles per day is possible for a preindustrial mounted pair, IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HAVE TO. Moreover, that is for ONE day. Many articles agree that 40 miles per day is already a hard ride, so 50-60 miles is REALLY pushing the envelope on horse and rider limits.

NOTE: While modern-day endurance rides routinely go for 50-100 miles in one day, remember that a preindustrial rider will not have the medical/logistical support that a modern endurance rider and their horse does.

If you say "they went fifty miles in a day" in most preindustrial times, the horse and rider's bodies will get wrecked. Either the person, their horse, or both, risk dying of exhaustion or getting disabled from the strain.

Whether you and your horse are fit enough to handle it and "only" have several days of defenselessness from severe pain/fatigue (and thus rely on family/friends to help you out), or you die as a heroic sacrifice, or you aren't QUITE fit enough and become disabled, or you get flat-out saved by magic or another rider who volunteers to go the other half, going past 40 miles in a day is a "Gondor Calls For Aid" level of emergency.

As a writer, I feel this kind of feat should be placed VERY carefully in a story: Either at the beginning to kick the plot off, at the climax to turn the tide, or at the end.

Preindustrial people were people--some treated their horses as tools/vehicles, and didn't care if they were killed or disabled by pushing them to their limits, but others very much cared for their horses. They needed to keep them in working condition for about 15-20 years, and they would not dream of doing this without a VERY good reason.

—

UPDATE January 13: Several people have gotten curious and looked at maps, to find out how a lot of cities are indeed spread out at a nice distance of 20-30 miles apart! I love getting people interested in my hyperfixations, lol.

But remember that this is the space between CITIES AND TOWNS. There should never be a 20-mile stretch of empty wilderness between City A and Town B, unless your world explains why folks are able to build a city in the middle of nowhere, or if something has specifically gone wrong to wipe out its supporting villages!

Period pieces often portray a shining city rising from a sea of picturesque empty land, without a single grain field or cow pasture in sight, but that city would starve to death very quickly in preindustrial times.

Why? Because as Bret Devereaux mentions in his “Lonely Cities” article (https://acoup.blog/2019/07/12/collections-the-lonely-city-part-i-the-ideal-city/), preindustrial cities and towns must have nearby villages (and even smaller towns, if large and prosperous enough!) to grow their food for them.

The settlements around a city will usually be scattered a few miles apart from each other, usually clustered along the roads to the city gates. Those villages and towns at the halfway point between cities (say 10-15 miles) are going to be essential stops for older/sick folks, merchants with cargo, and large groups like noble’s retinues and army forces.

Preindustrial armies and large noble retinues usually can’t make it far past 10-12 miles per day, as denoted in my addition to this post. (https://www.tumblr.com/jadevine/739342239113871360/now-for-a-key-aspect-that-many-people-often-ask )

[astonmartinii]

girl, so confusing | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem norris!reader

will "norstappen" will work it out on the remix?

note: obvs everything here is hearsay and all a big fat joke i am just venting my frustrations with whatever the fuck lando just said after that race

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR |

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 783,049 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: we don't just let people by because we have a big lead in the championship (that's actually how you end up with a big lead) btw.

view all comments

user5: WELCOME BACK OUTWARDLY BITCHY Y/N I'VE MISSED YOU

user6: the atmosphere shifted, my skin has cleared and the birds are singing

user7: i didn't think it would be against her own brother BUT WE'LL TAKE WHAT WE CAN GET

maxverstappen1: can you do all my media for me - you give a lot better sound bites than i ever could

yourusername: all my sound bites would be completely unusable

yourusername: cause if they thought you had a potty mouth oh boy they have another thing coming

danielricciardo: it's true i was around her when she stubbed her toe once, it was like shakespeare but concerning

alexalbon: or that one referee against chelsea, i've never heard so many creative insults

maxverstappen1: okay but my thoughts exactly

yourusername: twitter would cancel me baby

maxverstappen1: everyone wants cunty f1 back until i make contact and you ... open your mouth?

user8: not like all of lando's friends either being in the likes or the comments

user9: bro is fighting for his life in the GC after that press run

user10: i think y/n got all the sass cause lando that was not the diva statement you thought it was

landonorris: before you delete i already sent it to mum

yourusername: i'm not deleting it you big baby you gotta stand on your words bro

landonorris: nuh uh

yourusername: i can feel you pouting YOUR 24 YEARS OLD

landonorris: but i'm still your baby brother

yourusername: not with this PR strategy

landonorris: MAX WAS IN THE WRONG

yourusername: 1. i watched the ten laps before lando i'm not dumb 2. i support his rights and wrongs 3. you still won driver of the day and i thought that's what meant the most to you

user11: oh she gagged him

user12: can we get a rupaul's drag race reading challenge in f1 but it's just y/n reading the drivers PLEASE

charles_leclerc: literally all you have to do is spend 10 minutes with her in the paddock

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,304,599

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: still got my favourite norris on side and that's all that matters

view all comments

user13: someone check on lando cause DIVA IS DOWN

user14: diva is dead and buried at this point

user15: they're dancing on diva's grave

landonorris: DO YOU PEOPLE MIND ???

maxverstappen1: who is this random fan in my comments?

landonorris: i'm definitely not a fan of yours after this weekend

maxverstappen1: oh then let me add you to my block list

charles_leclerc: i thought unfollowing each other after a race in austria was our thing max :(

maxverstappen1: yes that's why i'm going to block him not just unfollow

charles_leclerc: oh good 😊

yourusername: and that's why i'm ready to get rid of the name altogether

maxverstappen1: i think you suit verstappen so much more anyway

yourusername: i'm ready when you are

landonorris: really? ENGAGEMENT TALK ON A POST THAT DISSES ME

yourusername: a diss? you don't want your sister to be happy? or am i not your sister anymore since max isn't your friend anymore?

landonorris: IT WAS ONE QUOTE LIKE TEN MINUTES AFTER BEING CRASHED OUT OF THE LEAD

yourusername: * second-place

landonorris: STOP IT

yourusername: don't dish it if you can't take it buddy

user16: not this brocedes era for max and lando

yourusername: @lewishamilton @nicorosberg i am so sorry they're minimising your trauma like this

user17: so real of you

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and 934,098 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & landonorris

yourusername: when you forgot that you invited your boyfriend to stay at the family home before the british grand prix and arranged a big family dinner and the flight back to england and your boyfriend and brother decide to try and kill each other in the race and have now 'ended' their friendship.... relatable!

view all comments

user21: the footage... GIVE IT TO ME, SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL

yourusername: most excruiting three hours of my life boys are so dramatic

user22: shock horror mad max and norrif are holding grudges

yourusername: IF i didn't have the patience of a saint i would've gone mad max on their asses and mclaren would've been down a driver

user23: out here threatening the victim and not the aggressor

yourusername: now why would i attack my trophy husband?

landonorris: i didn't make the plane ride awkward HE MADE THE PLANE RIDE AWKWARD

yourusername: we tried to nap but the heat from your death glare kept us up

landonorris: THAT'S NOT MY FAULT

yourusername: it's kind of expressly your fault, you could've taken your anger out on a pillow or a 12 piece wing meal like a normal person

landonorris: max's jet doesn't offer wings

maxverstappen1: get your own jet then

yourusername: @ryanair we have a new customer for you

landonorris: NO I'M SORRY

maxverstappen1: finally

landonorris: just for your jet not having wings, you're still the one in the wrong overall

user24: i fear lando may not see his sister back in the mclaren garage for the rest of the season

user25: i mean she looks better in blue anyway

liked by maxverstappen1

oscarpiastri: can we please move on lando your attitude is stinking up the gaff

landonorris: 1. wtf osc you're meant to be on my side 2. where the fuck did you learn that

oscarpiastri: while you've been sulking in your childhood bedroom i've been taking in the normal norris hospitality

yourusername: he'll get over it he did this all the time when we were younger - he'll come back and join when dinner is finished

landonorris: TELL MAX TO APOLOGISE

yourusername: i guess you don't want any of these profiteroles then ...

maxverstappen1: i'm eating them all lol

landonorris: FINE GOD DAMN

landonorris

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 1,674,099 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername

landonorris: i think i just got gentle parented (brought matching jellycats) into forgiving max

view all comments

user28: about fucking time

user29: baby had his first real dose of wheel to wheel racing for a win and wanted to throw away a friendship

user30: good thing his sister never knows when to shut the fuck up and humbled these men cause lord knows without her lando would still be chatting shit in the media

yourusername: someones got to make sure lando doesn't embarrass himself (idk where his PR department went but mclaren need to run me my money)

maxverstappen1: girl, so confusing when you literally forget all about it as soon as we got you the jellycat you wanted

landonorris: i am a little brother first and foremost

yourusername: hard on the little you've been acting like a whole ass five year old

landonorris: have you ever thought that maybe i'm acting out because i miss you now you've moved in with max and wanted matching jellycats so we always have a part of each other??

yourusername: awww really???

maxverstappen1: that's actually kind of cute

maxverstappen1: and a hunk of BULLSHIT

landonorris: FINE I'M PETTY BUT I WANTED TO WIN SUE ME

maxverstappen1: well i also wanted to win so that's not the serve you think it is

yourusername: you only 'forgave' him because you saw that max was playing padel with charles

landonorris: umm yes obviously, i can't let lestappen be a real thing

yourusername: why not that's literally my dream threesome

yourusername: WHAT WHO SAID THAT

yourusername: lando i think your comment section is haunted

charles_leclerc: well i'm ... flattered

landonorris: you can have lestappen you weirdo

maxverstappen1: @charles_leclerc stop being flattered i don't share

yourusername: heheheheh

landonorris: that much is obvious... you couldn't let me win once?

maxverstappen1: no!

yourusername: no!

fin: here's a lil quick one today cause i had some free time! i am working on guilty as sin p4 but i'm so so so busy and i do be going to silverstone on wednesday xx hope you enjoyed !!!

[fourmoony]

omg haii, i read ur mini seiries called hope, and i absolutely ADORE it!!! you're probably already writing a part 4, but i wanna request an idea - her first b-day and she meets regulus and lily for the first time where regulus is kinda quiet, not involving himself that much and hope penguin-walks over to him and hugs his leg and regulus goes full-on sweet mode omgg and he baby-talks her like "heyy hope" and "i'm your favourite uncle, right?" and hope babbles back <333

i would be in total awe if i saw this in at least one of your parts, it's also my birthday in 10 days so perfect fit in with hope's birthday!!

tysm for reading <333

hi! I love this idea... sorry it took so long, I've been swamped with college work. this one only features Regulus because the story got away from me, but I could do a separate one for Lily if you like. happy belated birthday, I hope you had an amazing day :) hope you like it

𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 (𝟒) - james potter x f!reader - this part doesn't have much james content, sorry!

summary: Hope and Uncle Reggie fluff. 1.9k

masterlist - part 1 - part 2 - part 3

--

There’s balloons and banners on every wall, presents on every surface, toys strewn all over the floor, and paper plates dotted in various areas.

Hope stands in the middle of it all, in the eye of the storm, the brightest smile you’ve ever seen on her chubby little face. It’s strange, when you really think about it, that she smiles just like James. Considering she’s not biologically yours, nor his. But she smiles like him. Unabashedly, bright, all of her tiny little teeth on display, eyes crinkled at the corners from the sheer force of her happiness. You’ve wrangled her hair into pigtails and she’s wearing the pink corduroy pinafore Sirius bought her with matching pink socks. She’s the epitome of cuteness and your heart can’t take it.

It’s surprising – and yet not at all – that she hasn’t napped all day. It’s not long gone four pm, the party winding down, and there’s been not a single tantrum, nor a moment of calm from your daughter. James, on the other hand, has had several tantrums. He’s adamant Hope has defied all biological laws and is growing too fast. He says it so often you think he might have wished it true, because today, for the first time, you see it.

She’s no longer the baby James brought home bundled in a blanket, with a nervous smile on his face. She’s a bright, loving, happy little girl with so much attitude, so much love, so much energy, and you really feel like maybe she is growing too fast. You can’t slow time, no matter how hard you try, and that makes your lip wobble as you stare at your daughter, pointing sticky fingers at Remus who tries to dodge her, and your boyfriend, who’s trying to corral her with a baby wipe.

All the kids invited to the party have long gone, stuffed with cake and with a complimentary party bag. The cottage is no longer crowded or overrun by hyperactive children. Calm has resumed – well, as calm as any residence with your daughter and your friends inside of it can be. Sirius is half passed out on the sofa from hours of keeping up with his god daughter, legs swung up over the arm, a haphazardly placed party hat on his head. Remus is still trying to dodge Hope’s sticky fingers but is now the one with the baby wipe trying to corral her. He won’t win. You know your daughter and by now, Remus should know that his attempts are futile. But they’re both laughing, even if Remus keeps grimacing every time her hands land on his beige trousers.

“So,” James appears beside you, an overly fond look in his eyes, “Hope’s Epic First Birthday – success?”

You hum, lean into the arm he’s wrapped around you, emulating warmth and comfort and every bit of him you’ve come to love over the years – home – “Massive success. Best parents ever.”

James huffs a laugh and presses a kiss to the side of your temple. He tenses when the doorbell rings. It’s habit, after the war, but you’re safe now, so he releases you with a chaste peck to the lips and jogs off to answer. Remus has strong armed Hope into his lap and is wiping down her hands. You smile. He’s better with her than he would ever know. You can hear James happily talking away to someone, shoes are discarded with a familiar thump by the front door, and then he appears back in the doorway with a wide smile.

Regulus appears behind him, a tentative smile on his face. He’s so similar to Sirius it’s kind of shocking, but the differences are there. Where Sirius is punk rock and messy black eye liner with leather jackets and shaggy hair, Regulus is stoic, regal, neat and put together. It’s been an odd adjustment, watching the two brothers become acquainted with each other again after years of being apart, but it warms your heart every time share a smile or a joke, sometimes an awkward hug. Winning the war was mostly because of Regulus and his behind-the-scenes efforts and when Sirius found out, it shattered everything he’d ever thought about his brother. Watching him recover from what he thought would be mourning his brother, but actually turned out to be healing with his brother, has been beautiful.

“Sirius,” You call, “Regulus is here.”

Sirius perks up, all sense of exhaustion gone, and smiles wide at the sight of his younger brother. Regulus is wearing all black – slacks and a button up shirt. They have the same eyes, same cheek bones, same nose. But Regulus is, for lack of a better word, serious. He’s well put together, posh, a man of luxury, after inheriting half of the Black family riches two months ago.

It’s why, when you spot the sparkly pink gift bag in his hand, you have to bite your lip to stifle a laugh.

“Reg,” Sirius stands, hesitates, but ultimately decides to go for a hug, anyway, “You made it.”

Regulus hugs Sirius back, albeit a little awkwardly, “Of course.”

He turns to you and James, “Sorry I missed the party. All the people, I just…”

James waves a dismissive hand, bright and easy smile on his face, “Honestly, mate, don’t worry about it. Twenty screaming kids is anyone’s worst nightmare.”

Regulus smiles a little, nodding in way of an answer. Hope has wrangled her way out of Remus’ grip and is tottering across the living room floor, dodging stray balloons and wrapped presents as she goes. When she reaches Regulus, she stops, tiny fist clutching at the leg of his trousers. Regulus hasn’t spent much time around Hope. You don’t know if he really likes kids. But when he crouches, a soft look about his eyes you’ve never seen before, you release a breath you hadn’t known you were holding. James guides you to the armchair, pulling you into his lap.

You sit happily, watching the scene before you unfold. Sirius and Remus seem to be as mesmerised by this version of Regulus as you are.

“Hi, Birthday Girl,” His voice is quiet, sweet like honey as he holds the bag out to her, “This is for you.”

Hope looks enamoured by the pink glittery bag, let alone whatever could be inside. Regulus sits it on the ground, legs in a basket to get onto Hope’s level. The bag sits between them like a peace treaty. Hope stares at Regulus and he waits, face blank, lips upturned maybe a little. Her tiny, little hand reaches out, palm flat against his cheek and Regulus closes his eyes for a second before a wide grin spreads its way across his face. Sirius steps around them carefully to reach for the camera by the mantle. Without another word, Hope clambers into Regulus’ lap and sits down. She’s never been shy, so you don’t know why it surprises you so much.

“So,” Regulus starts, holding open the bag so that Hope can see inside, “Start with this one.”

He hands her a neatly wrapped gift, white paper with little pink hearts and you melt at the idea of cold, stoic, Regulus Black in a shop somewhere buying pink gift bags and wrapping paper. He helps Hope a little to unwrap it, and then holds it out in front of her. It’s a book, from what you can see, with a tiger and a little girl on the front cover.

“This book is called The Tiger Who Came to Tea. It’s a muggle book, one my cousin Andromeda used to read to me. I think you’ll like it.” He’s talking so quiet you really think he’s only intending for Hope to hear him.

Your daughter looks entirely fascinated, enthralled by the attention she’s gaining from Regulus.

Sirius snaps a picture, but Regulus doesn’t look up.

He pulls another gift out of the bag, a smaller box, which he helps Hope unwrap again, “Your Uncle Sirius says you’re going to be a famous Quidditch player, one day. This is Plan B. You don’t have to be magic to make potions,” He flips the lid on a little wooden box, engraved with her name, and inside are loads of scribbled on pieces of parchment, “These are my perfected recipes. You’ll go a long way with these, but something tells me you’re going to surpass them by a mile.”

Your lip wobbles as you watch. Throughout the nine months Hope has been your daughter, you’ve thought many times about her future. Sirius has a can do, no worry attitude about her becoming a Quidditch star. You think he’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen for her. But Regulus has given her the beautiful gift of his own potion recipes, and the ability to create and succeed in something she can do with no boundaries.

He’s given her an heirloom, a starting point, an incredibly thoughtful gift and it’s truly beautiful.

“Your mum and dad can probably hang onto this for a few years. But it’s yours, don’t let your dad nick it, I know how bad he is at potions.” Regulus looks pointedly at James, who wipes tears from his eyes as he laughs.

You place your hand over his heart and share a look you’ve come all too familiar with – how lucky are we to have a little girl who is so adored?

The last present Regulus takes out of the bag isn’t wrapped. It’s a teddy bear, brown and small enough for Hope to carry. She takes it from his hands with a wide smile, giving him a small ‘ta’ as way of thanking him. Regulus smiles, nods his head, “You’re welcome, Hope. Happy Birthday.”

She’s up like a shot once presents are finished – as is to be expected. She totters over to Sirius, who looks equally as teary eyed as you and James and shows him the bear with great enthusiasm. You stand to collect the box of potion lists from the floor, holding it gently, a smile on your lips. Regulus is standing now, so you look to him, finger rubbing softly over the engravement of her name, “Regulus, I- thank you. This is a beautiful gift. And the book, she loves tigers.”

He smiles softly, nodding his head, “Remus told me she made Padfoot wear a Halloween costume of a tiger.”

You laugh fondly at the memory as Sirius – who’s holding Hope in his arms as she wriggles – growls at Remus for recounting the story. Remus holds his hands up in surrender, a knowing look in his eyes.

“And the potions stuff is because there should be something from our world for her to access no matter what. I have a feeling she’ll be one of the greats, I wasn’t lying about that. Just like her mum.”

“Can I hug you?” You ask Regulus.

He nods, and so you do. It’s a little stunted, a little awkward, but it means the world over.

“Okay,” James claps his hands together, the remnants of tears on his cheeks like a little snail trail, “Cake?”

“Please.” Regulus nods and follows your boyfriend to the kitchen.

Sirius hands Hope off to James as he passes, who immediately reaches for Regulus. He takes her wordlessly from James, the ghost of a smile on his lips. Sirius reaches over to the mantle, hands you a photograph that’s been left to develop. Hope and Regulus are on the floor, your daughter curled comfortably onto his lap, smiling brightly up at him as he holds the book in front of her. He looks so happy, so content, nothing like the boy you knew in school, Sirius’ estranged brother. He looks like Reggie.

You smile, take your wand from your back pocket and wave it over the photograph.

In small cursive letters, underneath the moving photograph, appears: Hope and Uncle Regulus on Hope’s First Birthday.

Sirius beams.

[momolady]

2023 Year End Stats

Not to be stereotypical or anything, but for me at least, 2023 was an odd year. I bled for 6 months straight, dealt with the worst pain I still can't comprehend, had a hysterectomy, moved in with my partner, got some cats, dealt with a lot of stress, watched the world burn. Yeah, it's been pretty good to outweigh the bad.

But anyways! I've done the math and put together a list of my stories that performed the best this year. At least in terms of notes anyways. I'm also going to share my stories that didn't perform as well and hope they get the love they deserve.

Anyways, let's get on with the count down. Forty total stories have published on Tumblr this year. Sixty-six were published on Patreon. Top monsters were orcs (7), Vampire (3), Fae, Minotaur, Romm Monster, Lich (all 2).

Top Ten Stories:

10. Kahann the Naga

This one would probably be in my top ten favorites to write of the year. This dark, twisted romance between a lonely, isolated girl shipwrecked on an island with the dangerous and sexy Kahann struck the dark romance itch I've been wanting to scratch.

9. Keir the Orc

Comfy farm romance that features annoyances to lvoers. What else could you want? Orcs are always fun to write, I feel I could do it with my eyes closed, but thankfully I don't wanna do that.

8. Atharo the Lich

The pink lich, this one had imagery in it I couldn't get out of my head. the visions of this pink lich still huant me and I wish I could conjur such sstrong imagery still.

7. Asier the Drider

A simple premise we cann understand. Getting packages and ordering online is probably yhe msot fun we can have without leaving our homes. But what if your neighbor was annoyed by this? And what if that neighbor was a drider?

6. Auberon the Room Monster

The enchanted library. i think I've written more about the romance and mystery of bookstores an libraries more than anything. But this story was special, with lots of worldbuilding wrapped like a blanket around these characters. The room this monster stays in is the library, and who doesn't wanna spend time with that guy?

5. Marek the Vampire

This murky, dark, and swampy tale is one of those that stays with me. The idea of a different sort of vampire, one in the bogs and wetlands of a strange peninsula that gets flooded every year haunts me. The image of him is one of my absolute favorite creations and I hope I get to visit this peninsula village again.

4. Placide the Paralangua

This story marks the beginning and growth of my Charcourt universe. Liek Hearthway Hollow it's a town filled to the brim with straneg creatures, only it's the Paralangua, alligator type monsters who throw a festival every year to celebrate their history and the continued growth of Charcourt. Is it a cult? Maybe. There's a new five part tale of this area up on Patreon now.

3. Ben the Werewolf

Enmies to lovers, I think most people get on board with this trope. This tale of Hearthway Hollow delves into the relationship between two high school enemies who reconnect after years and manage to put aside their competitivness to find one another. The lead in thisstory is also Rowan's little sister.

2. Leraye the Demon

Demons are always fun. My demon characters have ways of weaving themselves in and out of the world we know, sometimes as proper members of society, often not. Leraye is one of those that visits our world as a full time member, seeing out the comforts of a Chinese bakery whose owners are a family with ties into the reality he avoids.

Florenz the Vampire Bat

This would for sure also be on my favorites of the year. This dark story wove together elements of fantasy, horror, and romance that I love to death. The lead is sophisticated and dashing, the lead is adventurous and excitable. The chemistry between the leads while writing this tale was so good.

The Ten Least Appreciated Stories

10. Juniper the Tiefling

I am deeply disappointed this didn't do as well as I expected. This story was based on characters me and my bff made for a one shot DND session. So this story was more personal to me than others. but more than that, I feel it had some of my best banter!

9. Rocco the Guard

Another personal tale based on ideas me and my friend came up with during a visit where we watched the Owl House together. I also greatly enjoyed the leading lady who was smart, spunky, and chaotic in the absolute best ways.

8. Ozzie the Werewolf & Tryfon the Naiad

It has a trans lead, it has polyamory, it was set in hearthway Hollow! I thought this story was serving up gold on a platter. But maybe people weren't in the mood for gold. The comedy in this is top notch, at least I thought.

7. Laertes the Fae

Another story where the dialogue I feel sparkles and pops with every interaction the characters had. This did only recently come out, so maybe it'll grow after this.

6. Ransom the Shapeshifter

Another personal story based around lore me and my bff created for our Stardew Valley characters. It also featured a nonbinary lead and monster, I thought people would be excited for this. I loved playing with the avant-garde sci-fi aspect and being a little weird. But maybe that's why people didn't like it too much lol

5. The Leshy

Another story that would be in my top ten for my personal favorites to write. I loved the complexity of the leading lady and crafting her has made her a personal favorite. The characters and world of this story will be one that stays with my thoughts as I think about the cozy, dark streets anfdthe moss covered steps of the buildings.

4. Jaqueline the Dullahan

This story has it all! Chocolate, Halloween, a sexy dullahan chef, and it's a lesbian romance. Maybe I don't have enough wlw readers but this story came from a ko-fi prompt I wrot and just grew into a full fledged story. I really enjoyed the atmosphere of this story and how it felt like a cozy fireplace with hot cocoa.

3. Beast the Symbiote

Beast is a character I have been wanting to get out into the world for years. She's such a complex villain character, and who doesn't love that. I feel like she is one of my coolest characters. Lucky Devil was also a character I had been dying to get out, she's been in my head since I watched Magi Madoka and she took form slowly over the years. She is in part based on me, and I want to do more with this lovely couple.

2. Fia the Selkie

I'm starting to see a pattern here. Male reader stories aren't ya'lls cup of tea? Too bad, I have some amazing male readers and commissioners I adore working for. Fia was this comforting warm blanket of a story. A struggling musician and the lovely Selkie he's come to be with. I really love this story, please check it out if you want some comfort.

1.Ria the Orc: an AU

I'm actually a wee bit pissed about this one. Another male reader, and Ria is a character I've come to absolutely love. This was written for a commissioner I've come to consider a friend, and writing for him has become an amazing experience. Ria and her beau have also become such real, loving characters in my head. This was an AU of the modern monsters Ria where she is in Obresh and participates in the Reaping. Who doesn't love Reaping stories? C'mon folks, give these ten stories the love they deserve!

Thank you all for an amazing year! Next year I will hopefully publish and you're going to see bigger and grander things from me, I owe that to all of you. Keep a look out for my Ozren novel hitting the shelf soon. Thank you so much and I hope I continue to write stories you love.

[tsumtsumrry]

Friends to lovers Harry styles? I was thinking Harry and the reader have been best friends for years with cute traditions like coffee on certain days or book clubs. Overall they know each other inside out and spend a lot of time together. There’s some tension bc harry is very obviously in love with the reader however she’s the only one who doesn’t see it. Despite the fact she feels the same she’s scared because she doesn’t believe he could feels the same. Maybe it could get a little angsty but with a happy ending pls! Thank you!

thank you very much for the request!! anyone who knows me knows that friends to lovers is my jam, so this was very very fun to write. hope you enjoy <3 (barely proofread so sorry in advance for any mistakes!)

“Well have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?” Harry suggests as you two sit inside the pillow fort you made, two glasses of wine sitting next to your knees and the sight of your small TV bugging out in front of you. 

You pout at your dilemma. It’s been a tradition since you two were kids to have a little quiet movie night in a cozy pillow fort. It’s not the first time your TV has been acting up recently and Harry keeps offering to buy you a new one but you always refuse. He’s too giving, that one. But god, do you admire him for it. 

“Tried that before you came, H. S’no use. Time for plan B.” you sigh at go to get up carefully to go retrieve your computer and a stool from your room.

Harry watches you with fond eyes as you go, the sparkle in his eyes that only appears when he’s looking at you evident (to everyone but you, that is). He’s almost a hundred percent sure you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, the hue of your eyes melts him, the brightness of your smile blinds him. You have the softest, most soothing aura he’s ever come across and he just wants to be with you all the time. He’s smiling like an idiot just thinking about you.

“Got the computer. What are we watching?” he jumps a little, startled out of his thoughts when you walk back into your cozy living room. He watches you intently as you calculatedly place the stool in front of the fort and the computer on top of it. He smiles fondly at you when you adjust it at least five times because “it has to be perfect” and opens his mouth to answer your question, “what are we watching?” 

You carefully sit right back down next to him and after a small beat of silence you both turn to look at each other at exactly the same time and simultaneously blurt out, “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days!” 

“Twin flame telepathy back at it again.” he pumps his fist in the air and pulls it back while you giggle. 

It doesn’t take long to set up the movie and before you know it, you’re halfway through it, cuddled up into Harry’s side with his arm snug tightly around you. You occasionally look up at him when you see something funny to see if he found it funny too, and he does the same, causing an intense bout of eye contact and laughter. 

The warm hues of your fairy lights kiss his skin in a way that makes him almost glow with warmth, the green of his eyes is so intense in this light, it almost takes your breath away. Sometimes you wish time would stop so he could be as still as he is in this moment, and you could just look at him. Just admire how truly beautiful he is. The way his eyelashes flutter when he takes in the brightness of the images forms a small knot in your stomach. You feel your mouth part and it’s only when he looks down at you that you realize your staring might feel a little weird. 

“What?” you watch his mouth form the softly spoken word. You don’t say anything so he smiles and tries again, “what?” 

“Nothing, just daydreaming.” you reply softly with a small smile. 

“Watch the movie, dude.” he scolds you playfully and you roll your eyes. 

“Sir, yes sir.” 

“So you think waffles are better than pancakes?” Harry asks one of your mutual friends, Jess incredulously. Jess nods and Harry’s eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. “Are you kidding me? Pancakes are infinitely better than waffles. Who wants their breakfast to have craters in them, Jess? I mean c’mon. Tell them, babe. Pancakes are better.” He motions to you and your eyes widen, not wanting to get in between what is clearly such an important, heated discussion. 

“Pancakes.” you finalize with a small laugh. Harry smacks his hand on the table in triumph and points at Jess, who rolls their eyes at his antics. “S’two against one. Can’t beat that. Them’s the rules, toots.” 

You’re in a fit of giggles at this point, you’ve always loved the way he talked. He had this dry humor that utilized his unique vocabulary and it never failed to amuse you. 

He turns to look at you, scooting closer and slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Can always count on you can’t I, honey?” he smirks and shrugs you closer to him to press a messy kiss on the side of your head. 

You shudder violently and your hand immediately shoots up to wipe at your head, “ew, Harry!” you whine and he throws his head back to laugh. 

Everyone is just staring at the two of you fondly, your bond is something unmatched. The pure passion that you two display when you look at each other is unlike anything most of your friends have seen before. Everyone can see the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you. It’s lost on them how you can’t. They just wish you two would finally man up and come to terms with it. 

He leans down way too close to your ear, his lips oh so faintly brushing against your skin, the laughter ceases almost immediately and it feels like time just stops. 

“You know you love me, sweet girl.” 

It takes everything in you not to let your body melt into his and flutter your eyes shut at the closeness and warmth of his touch. Even the faintest touch makes you nearly lose yourself, you can’t imagine what a real touch would do to you. 

You pull yourself together enough to respond, “yes, yes unfortunately I do. Freaking man child.” 

He laughs again and just hugs you closer. 

H: Sweetheaaart. Where could you possibly be other than with me? 

H: That rhymed. 

H: Gonna pretend that it was intentional.

You: Lol you’ve got the wrong day, H. We’re meeting tomorrow x 

H: Yes but I still would looovee to see you today. 

You: I’ve got plaaans. 

H: Spill. 

Harry bites his lip nervously as he sends the message. He’s been talking to some mutual friends of yours and they’ve had the bright idea to set you up with someone this week. They’ve been trying to push Harry to make a move on you for years and he hasn’t. Your friends say you’ve been complaining about feeling lonely in the romantic department and of course they took it upon themselves to “help”. 

He hoped that if he sought out plans with you, you’d forget about whatever silly “date” they’ve asked you to go on. 

You: A date I think. Can I call it a date? 

He sighs deeply, his whole body deflating.

H: Why wouldn’t you call it a date? 

You: I don’t know the guy and it just doesn’t feel right you know?” 

Immediately you see his face flash on your screen and feel the phone vibrating in your hands. Your brow furrows but you press the accept button and bring the phone up to your ear. 

“Don’t go.” is the first thing he says, his tone almost pleading. “If it doesn’t feel right, don’t go. You can come over to mine, we can do face masks or something. Just don’t go.” 

You sigh, seriously considering his offer, “but don’t you think I owe to myself, H? I feel like I never put myself out there you know. It’s time I’ve tried. Can’t wait around forever.” You mumble that last part, slightly turning your mouth away from the speaker. 

“What? N-nevermind. You said it didn’t feel right though.” he tries again, praying that a little coaxing can get you to not go on that date. He swears he’ll confess his feelings to you right now if that’s what it takes. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if that date goes well and someone pulls the girl he’s so enamored with right from under him. He knows that if you start seeing someone things will be different, and you might tell him that they won’t be at first, but he knows they will. He absolutely cannot lose you. That’s one thing he refuses to do. Regardless of his fears. 

“Doesn’t hurt to try, right?” You almost wish he would tell you not to go again. You so desperately wish he would tell you what you want to hear. At no point before this phone call did you plan or think about making him jealous or upset at the idea of you seeing someone else, but the tortured thought is crossing your mind now. And you just wish that he’d say what you need to hear to get you to not go on that date. Your nails are digging into your palms as you anticipate his response, the tension building in your muscles. 

His mouth opens and closes. He has all the words in his head, but they hesitate to come out. 

A beat passes. 

You hear him sigh and you know he’s not going to tell you what you need to hear. 

So so close. He was so close to saying everything that needed to be out in the open for both of you, but he chickened out. 

“Right. Go for it, babe. Hope all goes well.” he forces a cheerful tone, one that he even cringes at, and usually, you know him better than that, but the tears are pooling in your eyes and threatening to fall down your cheeks; you don’t want to mess up the makeup that you’ve just done. 

“Thanks, H.” Your voice wobbles the slightest bit. Usually he knows you better, but the tears are pooling and threatening to fall down his cheeks. He presses his fingers into his palm and hangs up. 

He just stands there for a moment, a lone tear falls down his face and he immediately wipes it away, you’re too pure and precious to be the reason for his pain. He wishes he could just tell you. 

He’s been dodging you. 

You basically know his entire schedule, and you know that he’s been dodging you. 

You sigh softly as another call goes unanswered. Your heart is aching from missing your twin flame. 

The date went well, surprisingly. The guy was kind and thoughtful, he pulled your chair out for you and said all the right things, he was a great conversationalist, he was attractive. He basically checked all the boxes. Except for one. He wasn’t Harry. And you weren’t deeply in love with him. You should’ve listened to Harry that night, honestly. There’s only one person you want to be with.

You almost want to turn around after you knock on his door. You felt stupid, like you were coming here to make a fool of yourself. 

The door swings open and you sigh a breath of relief.

“Harry.” you sigh, “I’ve been trying to reach you for days.” 

He nods and opens the door wider to let you in. Your arms wrap around yourself protectively in a way that they never have around him when you step inside. He notices instantly. 

That’s his breaking point. The idea that that comfort you feel in each other is being challenged by his inability to just tell you how he feels. 

He walks towards you slowly. When he’s in front of you, his hand reaches up to touch your cheek softly and you frown in confusion, “why have you been avoiding me?” you whisper, not trusting your voice when he’s touching you. 

He shakes his head, “I’ve been avoiding a lot of things, you weren’t one of them, though.” 

Your frown deepens even more, “H. What in the world are you talk—” when you realize how close he’s suddenly become, your talking ceases. He leans in further, faintly brushing his lips against yours, using his grip on your cheek to angle you in the perfect way. 

“I’ve been avoiding my feelings. My feelings for you. These intense feelings that have been just utterly consuming me lately. These feelings that I think have been there since we were kids. It’s always, always been you, babe.” he leans down one more inch, and his lips are on yours.

Soft and delicate, but so full of passion that it overwhelms you. 

He kisses you softly again, first your top lip and then your bottom lip, then leaves one more soft peck on both. 

When you pull away you’re at a loss for words. You take this moment to look at him. To really look at him and just admire. A smile makes its way onto your face that you couldn’t have possibly fought even if you tried. 

“What?” he chuckles softly, stroking his thumb against your cheek and lips. 

“Nothing you just, you have this sparkle in your eyes that I’ve never noticed before. It’s beautiful.” Neither of you can stop your lips  from meeting again.

[kotton-kandy953]

━ 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙸𝙰

➛ yandere!izuku midoriya x fem!reader

❝ I love the way she's talking to me ❞

CHAPTER TWO ━ ENVY

1,911 WORDS

⤷ 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖔𝖉

there in confusion and bewilderment as the green boy suddenly ran into the school. What happened?

Was something wrong?

Whatever... You sighed, a little disappointed that you two couldn't speak any longer.

You then came to the conclusion that it would be best to just shrug it off and not sulk over some boy you've only known for 10 minutes.

When you first got onto the campus grounds of UA, you thought it was huge then. But the inside was even more unbelievable.

Now isn't the time to gawk at my surroundings, You thought while looking forward once again.

You struggled to navigate through the congested school hallways.

Once the halls started to clear out a bit, you finally had a view of what the hell was in front of yourself.

Looking around, you recognized a few faces from the UA Sports Festival earlier in the school year.

Now that I think of it, wasn't Izuku apart of the sports fest—?

Your inner monologue was forcefully cut short but an angry male's loud voice.

"Watch where you're going, extra!" He shouted as he stormed past you.

You were confused as to why he was shouting at you for no reason. Looking back on what happened, your shoulder just barely grazed his.

He's on another level of petty... you thought.

"Oh, uh, sorry!" You nervously apologized to the student.

He responded to your apology with a scoff, clearly not accepting it.

"You should be, dumbass." The pale blonde pointed at you, his ruby red eyes filled with anger.

"Dude, stop being mean to new students!!" A boy with red hair and a rough voice said as he grabbed the blondes wrist and jerking it down.

"For real!" Another blonde boy with brown eyes and a black streak in his hair exclaimed while gripping the angry male's other wrist.

They both tried their hardest to pull him away from you.

"Bro's acting like an asshole already at seven in the morning!" The brown eyed boy laughed.

"Let go of me, Dammit!!" The pale blonde snatched his arms away from the other two boys and put his hands in his pockets. He proceeded to walk away without them.

"Sorry about him..." The blonde with brown eyes whispered, gesturing toward the angry one.

"Don't fuckin' apologize!" The red eyed boy shouted at him, making you flinch. The two boys just rolled their eyes, unfazed by his yelling.

"Bye, new girl," The red haired male smiled kindly. The blonde waved goodbye to you then they both began walking to their class.

You returned his smile and waved back.

This was a very eventful morning, you thought.

At least they were nice, You sighed and continued making your way to your class. In spite of you not knowing where it was.

You recognized the rude blonde boy as Katsuki Bakugo, the first place winner in the UA Sports Festival. You also remembered him being chained and muzzled to the podium because of his aggression.

The other two boys were also a part of the sports fest. You don't exactly know their names, but you do remember them having similar spelling.

After walking for what felt like forever, you finally arrived at the first year hallway. You squeezed the right strap of your backpack, staring in awe at the huge doors.

You walked down the hall, looking for class A.

"...Class 1-B..." You muttered to yourself, "...and Class 1-A."

You stood in front of the huge door, hesitant about — well, everything.

Taking in a deep breath, you stepped into your new class.

The door revealed the complete opposite of what you would expect from an Elite top-tier Hero School.

The rude blonde from earlier, Bakugo, had his feet propped up on his desk and his hands resting behind his head, "New kid, old kid, I couldn't give two fucks either way."

The red haired and other blonde boy were standing by him, along with some other students you haven't yet learned the names of yet.

"Dude, she's literally right there..." The red head sighed while the second blonde face palmed.

At his words, all heads turned to you.

Great.

You awkwardly looked around the class until familiar green eyes met with yours.

"Hi, Y/n!"

It was Izuku!

A smile brightened your features as he walked up to you. He looked really happy to see you for some reason.

You ignored that, just happy that you were already acquaintances with someone in your class.

"Hi, Izu—!" Your response was cut short by a girl with short, pink, curly hair.

"Hey, Izuku!" The pink-skinned girl shouted, catching both of your attention.

"Care to introduce your friend to us?" She smiled a little.

Izuku was taken by surprise and blushed a bit, "Oh! S- sorry!"

He turned to the class, a nervous smile on his lips, "This is Y/n L/n. I met her on our way to school so I don't really know much about her..."

You looked down and felt Izuku's hand firmly gripping your wrist. At the feeling of your face heating up, you pulled your hand away from his.

Izuku's smile faltered a bit once his skin lost contact with yours.

A detail you failed to notice.

"Hey, new girl!" The boy with blonde hair and brown eyes called. You and Izuku turned in his direction as if he called the both of you.

A girl with short black hair and what seemed like earphone plugs coming down to her shoulders nudged the blonde, "She has a name, you know."

He ignored what the raven haired girl said and gestured for you to come over to their desks.

You walked away from Izuku, leaving him by himself.

Izuku watched as you and his classmates got along so well and learned one another's names.

Izuku shot daggers into the back of the blonde's head. His once kind eyes now filled with pure malice.

Was he... angry?

Why would he be?

He had only just met you.

To you, he was the nice boy who saved you from being crushed by a truck.

So what were you to him?

Why was he so envious?

━━━━━

It was now lunchtime.

Despite being the new student, many of your new friends and classmates have kindly volunteered for you to sit at their table.

You were just about to agree to Ashido's request before feeling your arm being jerked to the side.

"Uh, I was going to ask Y/n to sit with me, if you don't mind..." Izuku smiled nervously while glancing at Ashido then over at you.

The pink girl only smirked and said, "Of course you wanna sit by L/n!!"

You felt the blood rush to your face and your cheeks warm up. You looked over to Izuku who had the same reaction.

You shook him off your arm and he smiled awkwardly.

"Th- that's not it!!" He stammered out while flailing his arms around, "We're just friends."

"Okay..." She shrugged, "Y'know, I won't judge." She walked off with the rest of the class to the cafeteria.

You and Izuku sighed, happy that you both got out of that awkward conversation.

Once entering the cafeteria and getting your lunch trays, you and Izuku look around for a table to sit at.

Once finally finding one, you and Izuku sit next to each other.

"Izuku, I have a question."

A small smile appeared in his face, "What is it, Y/n?"

"This morning, why did you suddenly run away like that?" You laughed a little, "I thought that was weird."

His face flushed red and he looked away.

Covering his mouth with his palm, he thought, Why the hell does she have to bring that up...?

He turned to look at you and plastered a smile on his face, "S- sorry about that..."

He poked at his food, "I remembered that I left my notebook in class. I wouldn't want someone like Kacchan reading it, right?"

He laughed nervously, desperately wanting you to believe his lie.

"Your notebook?" You looked a little confused, "Oh! The burnt-up book you draw in all the time?"

He nodded and tilted his head to the side, "Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I saw you drawing in it during class earlier." You fixed your gaze on his eyes, "You're really good at drawing!"

"Really? I never thought so..." He responded bashfully.

You found his reactions really cute. "Hey—"

Stopping your sentence was a brown haired girl with a short bob. Her round, brown, eyes making contact with yours as she smiled.

"-Hey, Izuku! Hi... L/n, is it?" She asked as she sat across from you.

You greeted her back, but a certain green haired boy didn't.

He didn't even acknowledge her existence.

A detail you failed to notice.

━━━━━

"Mom, I'm home!"

Izuku called out to his mother as he entered his apartment. He took his shoes off and set them by the front door.

"Hello, Izuku!" She greeted from the kitchen, "Dinner's almost ready!"

"Okay!" He replied and made his way to his bedroom. Before he could open the door, his mother came up to him and and placed a small object in his hand.

"The doctor told me to give you these, Izuku." She rested a hand on his shoulder as he looked down at the object

He held a small pill bottle.

He looked back up at his mother, "He said you—"

"-I know, I know mom..." He smiled and brushed her hand off his shoulder.

"This is serious, Izuku," her green eyes fixed on his, "It may get worse if you don't take this everyday."

The green haired male sighed, "Okay. I will."

He smiled and his mother returned it, "Thank you."

She turned and made her way back into the kitchen.

Once Izuku's mother was completely out of sight his smile immediately dropped.

He swung his bedroom door open and tossed his backpack on his bed. He walked past all of the All Might posters and figurines and into the bathroom.

He turned on the light and placed the sealed pill bottle on the sink counter.

His gaze slowly moved from the bottle sitting on the counter below him to his own reflection in the mirror.

The one person he knew the least.

The image in the mirror failed to show his usual cheerful expression he always has.

Instead, green eyes, dark and void of all emotion, staring right back at him.

"I don't even need this shi... stuff." Izuku snatched the bottle off of the counter and gripped it tightly. He could've easily smashed it to pieces if he had the desire to.

Instead, he screwed off the top and made his way over to the toilet.

"She doesn't know what she's talking about..." the frustrated male muttered to himself as he dumped the contents into the toilet bowl.

"There's nothing wrong with me."

Once the bottle was empty, he screwed the cap back on and threw it on his counter.

"I'm not freaking crazy!" He whispered to himself, tears brimming in the corners of his green eyes.

Izuku left the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind himself.

Leaving the empty pill bottle of Lithium.

Song lyrics: Love Talk — WayV

Back to Title Page?

Back to Chapter One?

Proceed to Chapter Three?

[zabo-writes]

Mumbo is a God (He thinks everyone else is also a god, but that they’ve just been really good at pretending to be human)

Mumbo was beginning to suspect he was on the receiving end of a remarkably complex prank.

This put him in a predicament. Should he go along with it? He knew it was more fun if he did. If Mumbo Jumbo knew one thing, it was how to commit to a joke.

However, this had been going on for years now. Mumbo was starting to get one of those feelings in his gut that was the kind of gut feeling people describe when they say they have a “gut feeling” about something.

And being that Mumbo did not have a gut, or any human body parts for that matter, one could see why this was distressing to him.

Mumbo Jumbo was a god. Specifically, the god of redstone. All of the other hermits were gods as well. The crux of the issue here was that all of the other hermits had been pretending to be humans for about 10 years now. And by pretending, Mumbo meant seriously, seriously roleplaying. He’d tested it! There’d been multiple instances where he had tried to convince another hermit to break character and do something godly. And they never cracked!

Truly, Mumbo was impressed. He himself was not quite as unshakeable. There’d been a few moments where his facade had cracked: the time he accidentally made a perfectly circular pumpkin (big problem in a world made of squares), the time where he put too power into the redstone AI for grumbot and gave it an existential crisis, the incident where he may have slightly consumed Grian’s soul…

All that was to say, Mumbo wasn’t the best at pretending to be a human, but he was giving it his best effort. And it seemed like the other hermits, in some sort of years-long prank, were keeping up the joke until Mumbo got it right.

Well if that was the case, he’d finally caught on! Haha! Take that, other hermits! Mumbo finally figured out the prank where everyone else pretended for a very long time that they weren’t actually—

Gods.

Wait.

They were gods, right?

Scar with his magnificent terraining skills, Cleo with her armor stands…

And surely Grian was some sort of trickster god. Right?

All of his friends were so talented, he had simply assumed it was related to some sort of godly domain.

Come to think of it, did he have any confirmation that they ever were gods in the first place?

No, no, no… surely…

Mumbo paused his task of mindlessly mining out a very large area under his base. He blinked. The netherite pickaxe clattered as it hit the floor.

Oh, he was an absolute spoon.

———

Grian grumbled as he shuffled through every chest and shulker he owned for what felt like the billionth time. He could’ve sworn he left the materials to make a beacon somewhere around here. Did it “lag” into someone’s inventory again? He pulled out his communicator to put a message in the chat.

“Grian! Incoming!”

Grian looked up just in time to see Mumbo collide with his face, sending them both sprawling across the floor.

“Ah! Hello Mumbo, fancy seeing you here! Do you happen to know where my beacon is?” Grian laughed as he dusted himself off.

“This is not the time! Grian! Grian I’m having a crisis.” Mumbo lamented,

“Yes, so am I! My beacon is gone!”

Mumbo continued, undeterred, “Grian, I have a very important question for you, and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

“Okay?”

“What does your true form look like?”

“My what?”

“Alright, alright. So you know how I’m a god?”

Grian stated incredulously at the mustachioed man before him. “WHAT?”

Mumbo groaned and put his head in his hands. “No, I really need you to be honest. I’m a god, you’re a god, bdubs is a god… we all are, right?”

Grian was not sure how to respond to this. He was, to his knowledge, as human as they come. “I think this is a sitting down conversation.”

After a long, long chat inside of Grian’s bedroom, Grian felt he was finally understanding the situation. He was taking it pretty well! As well as one can take your best friend explaining to you in the same breath that he is a deity, and oh— by the way, he thought this whole time that you were as well.

“Okay, okay. Let me get this straight. You’ve been pretending to be human this whole time because you thought you had to?”

“I thought it was a game!” Mumbo exclaimed, burying his face in the pillows on Grian’s bed. “I thought it was a game, like an ‘I’m not going to kill anything for a season’ type of game!”

“Right, but in this case the game was ‘pretending to be human for multiple years without mentioning the fact that you’re a god’?”

“…. Yes.”

Grian cackled “Well, Mumbo, I can assure you, if that ever was a game, you’ve certainly won! I would never have suspected you.”

Mumbo nodded sagely. “Yes, it’s the mustache. A classic human disguise.”

“You don’t really have a mustache?!”

Mumbo cocked his head. “Grian, you’ve seen my real form! Or, a depiction of it, I suppose. The redstone god? From the buildswap we did?”

“That was ages ago! And wait, did you just make a self portrait for that prompt, then?!”

“Yes! That’s why I thought you knew!”

“Somehow that feels like cheating. I should go get Pearl and have her re-evaluate the results of that build swap with this new information”

A look of concern crossed Mumbo’s face. “Oh, I didn’t even think that. I’m going to have to explain this to everyone, aren’t I?”

Grian shrugged, “I’m sure it’s fine. Say, could I see your ‘god’ form, O great and powerful Mumbo Jumbo? Now you have me curious.”

“Well I could, but I might destroy your ceiling.” Mumbo looked up at the rafters sheepishly.

“Back outside we go then”

Safely on the grass behind Grian’s base, Mumbo transformed into his full form for the first time in what felt like ages.

The form was that of a large humanoid figure, as tall as Grian’s house, made of red terracotta and loose redstone dust that fell and scattered like sand with every movement Mumbo made. His eyes were two glowing redstone lamps that flickered with emotion, reminiscent of a certain robot they had built before.

It occurred to Mumbo at that moment that if his friends were truly human, this form might be quite scary to them. He knelt down to look at Grian, bracing himself to handle whatever fear was in his friend's eyes.

Instead, Grian was grinning like a madman.

“Oh, we are SO pranking Scar with this.”

[cloveroctobers]

OCTOBER PROMPTS 🦇 — 5. RIO

A/N: had a dream about my man the other night so I guess that was his way of telling me that he misses me? We love delulu!!! Anyways thought this would be fun to actually write something on the line of thriller/spooky this time around. This is me making up for not writing part two’s to my other fall inspired prompt on this man way back when. Hope y’all enjoy this 🧡🫶🏽!!!

PROMPT is from HERE + I’m using: A Begs B to come explore an old house that they believe is haunted. B is hesitant, especially after hearing the scary tales A knows so much about.

*GIF + PHOTO DO NOT BELONG TO ME!

WARNINGS: some France slander, language & hints of sexual content.

<- read my previous October anthology prompt here.

𒅒𒈔𒅒𒇫𒄆 𒅒𒈔𒅒𒇫𒄆 𒅒𒈔

Being in France for the month of October initially wasn’t the plan.

Khadijah and Rio ventured out here for a couple days for Khadijah’s birthday and for Rio to tie up some loose ends for business. What was supposed to be a four day trip turned into a much longer adventure.

“I know y’all done heard they got bed bugs out there, why are your asses staying out there longer?” Khadijah’s mother blurted into the FaceTime call.

Rio chuckled to himself by the mini bar, fixing himself something brown before entering the main living room part of the suite.

“Mom,” Khadijah hissed as she flicked through the channels, “this was a unexpected extended birthday trip.”

“Uh huh, sure it is.” The older woman said not entirely believing that, “Don’t think you can get cute on us and decide not to come back.”

“I’m already cute,” Khadijah modeled with extra shoulder as she sat on the tan couch while her mother brings the camera to show that she’s rolling her eyes.

“Well where do you think you get it from?”

“My father.”

“More like you got his smart mouth.” Khadijah’s mom comments, making her child hold up her finger to interject.

Now she loved her mom dearly but it was no secret that Khadijah was a daddy’s girl and her father’s favorite daughter despite what her two sisters thought. She was one of four children while her youngest sibling happened to be the only boy.

“Aw c’mon, don’t do Mr. Wells like that, especially if he’s not here to defend himself. Where is he anyway? It’s gotta be after 10:30 back home?” Rio came into frame, crouching behind Khadijah, who turned to peck his cheek before facing her phone once more.

The woman sighed, “where else? Working, working, working. I’ve been telling him he needs to slow down, he’s not some twenty year old no more. Lord knows it.”

Mr. Wells had a heart attack last year and had to have a stint put in. Rio’s never seen Khadijah’s so stressed before in his life and although the hardworking man had a good job with good insurance working for the city, they slammed him with some bills that Rio paid off. Which Mr. Wells wouldn’t let slide and already was in the process of paying back.

His choice, not Rio’s.

“He’s close to retirement and he loves supporting his family which is respectable.” Rio starts before joking, “once that happens then the both of you can come with us to Paris next time.”

“Uh uh. I’m never going over there, never had the desire to which is why I want y’all asses to get out of there fast!” Mrs. Wells’ large glasses come into frame now as she holds the phone at not the best angle, “I’d love to see Dubai or St. Lucia with Kayode, your father, and I guess your big headed brother can come too, Deej.”

Khadijah laughs, “yeah and he can bring Eliza too.”

“if I catch him even thinking about it, I’ll click my heels three times and send her bony ass right to hell.”

Laughter bubbles in Khadijah’s throat as she sends a teasing smile to Rio who winked back at his wife, knowing that neither of Khadijah’s parents were fond of their youngest child’s significant other. He was nineteen and found his supposed first love so it was evident that the pair were clingy and so in love with each other. They went to the same high school together, weren’t in the same cliques but ended up at the same community college and decided to give each other a try.

In shorter terms.

“We’ll make it happen,” Rio sighs as he comes around to plop down on the couch next to Khadijah, tossing a hand around the back of the couch, “minus Eliza right?”

“Damn straight,” Mrs. Wells humphed, “she can date somebody else’s son and boss them around for all i care. I just hope it’s over before thanksgiving.”

“Now Mom! Let’s not spread that negative energy for your birthday month, do you need some lavender and Kirk Franklin to keep your blood pressure down?”

The woman with the now bonnet secured around her micro locs fanned her hand, “I already had my session with Mr. Franklin around 7pm so hush! You know that’s what I’m wishing for and hoping you don’t wait around and decide to come back then.”

Khadijah blinks at Rio, who meets her stare. He had no plans of staying here longer than another few days, things got delayed and he offered to send Khadijah back to Detroit if that’s what she wanted but she had some vacation time that she didn’t mind using and she didn’t want to leave Rio behind either.

He’s been busy lately and she just knows as soon as they get back to Detroit, he’ll probably disappear for a little awhile again. So sue the woman if she wanted to be a little selfish and spend more time with her man.

“We’re gonna bring you something much better,” Rio smirks after taking a sip of his liquor, “maybe even a new bundle of joy.”

“WHAT?!” Mrs. Wells yells, “don’t play with me right now. When was your last cycle? I’ve been saying your tatas been looking fuller, ooooh I’ll have to tell your grandmomma.”

“Hey, hey! I’m not pregnant—

“Yet. We’ve been practicing though.” Rio announces, biting down on his bottom lip while Khadijah gasps and shoved at his knee.

Mrs. Wells claps her hands in joy, “y’all keep doing that but don’t bring those bed bugs back with you.”

“We won’t and did our research. If it makes you feel any better, we’re leaving this hotel tonight to stay at this castle for the rest of our trip and then tomorrow we’re gonna go explore this historic house since Rio wanted to have a rest day.” Khadijah informs her mother while Rio slowly nods his head, not knowing of the exploring a house portion but they’d discuss it later.

Mrs. Wells yawns as she sits up in bed now, “sounds fancy but okay then, mom’s tired and ready to knock out. But continue to be safe, the both of you and I’ll see you soon?”

“You sure will, night momma Wells.” Rio gave a two finger salute while Khadijah shared, “I love you’s, talk soon.” Before hanging up the call.

Khadijah leans back against the couch with a sigh, “told you mom’s got serious seperation anxiety all thanks to Kaliyah moving to Toronto with her girlfriend and we’re only traveling!”

“Which is exactly why I tried to smooth over her worries with baby talk, it worked didn’t it?” Rio lifts a thick brow while Khadijah shrugs her shoulders.

Soon she rests her head on Rio’s chest, locking her arms around his waist, “it’ll happen when it’s meant to…and we need to make sure we’re all packed for our new temporary home.”

“Oh I know I am, it’s you you gotta worry about mamas.” Rio presses a kiss to Khadijah’s rosemary scented hair.

Khadijah scoffs, “sorry but I had to buy more for this trip…which I’m not complaining! BUT! Paris’ fashion is really for the petite girlies.”

“They’re forreal missing out on the inclusion and better get on that.” Rio hummed.

“Siobhán is.” Khadijah grins while Rio slowly dips his head at the mention of his old designer friend.

Before Khadijah could get into asking about how she’s been doing, Rio sips from his drink once more and changes the subject, “what’s this about exploring tomorrow?”

“We maybe moving into a castle mansion for a little awhile but there’s no way I’m staying cooped up any longer without seeing what Dordogne has to offer.” Khadijah tells her husband with the perfect pronunciation of the town—or rather department as France calls it.

Rio raises the hand the rests against his wife’s shoulder, “heard you, mamas. No arguing on my part but you know it’s beneficial to have reset days too.”

“Which YouTuber told you that?” Khadijah smirks up at the buzz haired man, figuring that he was probably logged onto her account instead of switching over to his own to watch whatever it is he gets into.

Rio snorts, “don’t try and play me, my aesthetician did.”

“Of course they did.” Khadijah nods believing that since Rio didn’t mess around when it came to his skincare, “and you’re right, there’s nothing wrong with rest days. You’ve been running around x2 compared to me so I get it. You get a nap in and I’ll get the bags ready since we have what? An hour before the service comes and gets us.”

Rio grips Khadijah’s hand as she gets up from the couch, “you sure all an hour is what you need?”

“Shut up, Christopher.” Khadijah laughs, matching Rio’s smile before leaving the man to get his nap on.

With the city life behind the married couple, they settled in Dordogne late last night into the 18th century home. Surprisingly Rio wakes up late the next day, like around eleven am late compared to his seven am timeline. However Khadijah doesn’t mind letting him sleep, snapping a picture of his rest with the camera she brought along for the trip. She watches the clock from time to time, knowing just when to order breakfast to be sent to their room.

Khadijah’s sitting on a olive couch pushed underneath the windows which are half pulled back, sipping on caffe viennese, stomach half full from a classic French breakfast as she stares out into the scenery acting like the main character in a Victorian film.

“Morning, mamas. You starting the day without me?” Rio’s rough morning voice greets the brown skinned woman, who glances over her shoulder at him.

A soft smile meets her full lips, “good morning but someone has to get this party started. But don’t worry, I’ll never not let you in on the thrill. Got you one of these,” she holds the mug up in the air, nodding with her chin on the nightstand next to the man, “and there’s breakfast waiting for you underneath the cloche.”

“Did I mention hearing you speak French is sexy?” Rio states as he slowly sits up in bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Khadijah smirks, “plenty when you were tipsy on the late night ride here.”

“I regret nothing,” Rio laughs before turning to reach and sip at the warm coffee, “this is delicious.”

Khadijah pops her tongue, “Yeah it is.”

“What we doin’ today? Hold up, what time is it?” Rio turns his eyes into slits, reaching for his phone to let out a low whistle, “damn, haven’t slept that long—

“Since you got shot?”

Rio let’s out a cough, “whoa, that was dark.”

“Sorry,” Khadijah says, “kinda just slipped out.”

“Something you wanna talk about, Dija?” Rio hums, staring at his wife from their temporary shared bed.

Khadijah shakes her head, “nothing I want to get into on this brand new day, no. So!”

She uncurls her feet from underneath her to stand in her floral print lace trim set, placing a smile on her lips as she plops down on the bed. Taking a quick sip of the coffee again, she places it on her side of the nightstand and reaches inside to pull out two slips of paper.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?” Rio suspiciously tries to peek at the papers but Khadijah slaps them right on her chest.

“You asked what we’re gonna do.”

“Didn’t you say exploring some house last night?” Rio frowns, trying to remember.

Khadijah’s little smile to herself seems wicked but as soon as it appeared it vanished while she wiggled a bit on the bed, “that’s tonight’s adventure after dinner. We have at least a few hours before then to do something else so…pick one, anyone.”

The two options were: Château des Milandes OR Canoeing on the Brantôme.

Rio doesn’t wipe the frown off his brows but holds out his thumb and pointer finger while Khadijah holds onto the deck of two pieces. The tatted man makes a show of taking his time debating, just to irritate Khadijah for a little until he smiles picking the paper to the left.

And the winner is…

“Great choice! Now get your butt up and let’s shower, they’ve been open since 9 this morning.”

Chateau des Milandes!

Rio hums as he studies the paper, sipping at his coffee then replies, “can I enjoy my breakfast along with the view first?”

Khadijah dramatically sighs as she flops beside Rio, resting on her elbow to stare back at the ajar windows, “oh fine but I promise you, the one outside is much better.”

“personally I like the one right next to me.”

Khadijah flicks her head back to meet Rio’s brown eyes and she can’t help but to let a smile split over her lips, then puckering them for Rio to peck and lick his own smiling lips afterwards, “you think you’re so smooth.”

“I mean give a guy some credit. How else do you think I got you?” Rio chuckled while Khadijah just nodded her head from side to side mockingly.

“Just eat your food Christopher.”

It was Rio’s turn to mimic his wife.

“Aight, Khadijah.” He said over his shoulder, sitting on his knees and reaching over for the second tray of food.

Chateau Des Milandes was a sight to see and was a wonderful experience. Ugh!!! here Khadijah was sounding like her very emotional Granny Mozella but she never took moments like these with Rio for granted. On the outside it may seem like Rio was only street smart since that’s what he preferred yet he didn’t mind listening in on historical facts from time to time and no he wasn’t really into podcasts—unless it was true crime content—but no one could ever say he wasn’t open to learning new material and translating it into his own life.

He was good at finding purpose in anything.

He also liked draping his arm across Khadijah’s shoulders as they took the tour around the home that used to be owned by the successful Josephine Baker. That was more interesting to Khadijah than the Lords that lived it way before Ms. Baker but nonetheless they took it all in together including the architecture.

No one could deny that France had a way with its design and art.

They explored the garden, which led to a picnic and wine for dinner with the French sunset as the perfect backdrop, then they ended their time at the Chateau with a bird experience, much to Rio’s surprise as Khadijah winked and placed a kiss on the tattoo on his neck, before clenching onto his arm for dear life once the various of birds—specifically the one that was very similar to the one on Rio’s skin started flying around.

Rio found amusement in that, even when they made it back to the rental car.

“If that big ass bird would have crapped on me, we would have been having a whole different type of bird for thanksgiving this year.” Khadijah continuously checked her outfit for any unfamiliar marks, the paranoia getting to her.

Rio couldn’t help but to throw his head back against the headrest laughing. “They’ve been trained, that wasn’t gonna happen. Plus it may just wanted a strand of your hair for warmth, huh? French winters can be brutal so I hear.”

The man went to curl a strand of his wife’s loose curl that framed her face who scoffed at him.

“You’re far from funny, Mr. Montoya.” Khadijah slapped his hand away to fix her pin curl updo in the drop down mirror.

Rio chuckled some more, watching her, “you’re right…I’m hilarious, Mrs. Montoya.”

“Im glad you had fun, baby. I can tell the bird part was your favorite,” Khadijah gave the man a playful side eye, “but now it’s time for my activity.”

Rio glanced at the watch on his wrist, “it’s going on seven…what else you trying to get into besides drinking more wine and eating cheese?”

“Whew! No more cheese for me.” Khadijah flicked the sun visor back up, “so…I have this other place to visit.”

Rio tapped on the GPS, “aight, what’s the address?”

“I don’t think the GPS will fully locate it…just to a certain point.”

Rio thought about this for a second and asked, “what? It’s some underground event or something?”

“Well sure, yeah. Kinda.” Khadijah shrugged her shoulders making Rio sigh and sit back with his hands clasped.

Khadijah was tapping away on her phone for a moment while Rio just studied her. When she realized the car wasn’t moving, Khadijah turned her attention back to Rio who was patiently waiting for her to come right on out with it.

“We’re not going anywhere until you give me the info I need. No shady shit allowed.”

Khadijah turned sideways to face Rio, “Okay so…there’s this house that we should see.”

“You said that already. But Why? To buy?”

“Hell no,” Khadijah was quick to say, further making Rio put his guard up as to what this whole adventure was even about, “I mean no…yeah no that’s exactly what I mean. It wouldn’t be for us to live…just to see.”

Rio pried, “what’s so special about it?”

“It has a colorful story.”

“Which is…?”

“The year was 1666–

“Nah,” Rio immediately said leaning forward to start the engine but Khadijah flew her hand out to stop Rio from switching the gears.

“You didn’t let me finish.”

Rio leans on the console to completely face Khadijah, “by the way you’re dragging this out let’s me know you’re about to tell me some bullshit, that you know I’m not about to let fly.”

“Can’t a bitch add some extra flavor to the tale?” Khadijah scrunches up her face, “Sheesh.”

“Stop playin’ with me, Dija.”

“So hostile,” Khadijah flicked her hair off her shoulder, “alright you want the synopsis? Got it. So this house is special because during the year of 1666 a woman named Blanche lived there with her father, mother, two siblings, and new husband. Allegedly she was later accused of poisoning her family and beheaded her husband after they all suspected she was a witch because of some rumors started at the hospital she volunteered at. Her sickly father was the one to put her down after his wife and other children slowly started to die one by one. They say Blanche still haunts the home and asks when and or if you visit, to leave a ribbon and tea bag’s on their front step as a offering and for her to rid any vengeance in your life.”

Rio caressed his facial hair in thought, “Question for you, mamas? Did that eagle peck at your brain when i wasn’t around or…”

Khadijah sucks her teeth, “it’s spooky season, asshole!”

“I know that,” Rio lifts his shoulders carelessly, “but you’re trying to get into some serious shit and I can tell you one thing: I’m not feelin’ it.”

“Are you scared?” Khadijah leaned into the center console ready to comfort him, “I never said we had to go inside the house. Just see it and leave something for Blanche.”

Rio didn’t miss how Khadijah started to trail her hands over him but he didn’t fold, “Her business ain’t ours.”

It was Khadijah’s turn to laugh now, “you’re definitely scared!”

“No I’m not.” Rio scowled, “I’m just saying you have to be careful what you expose yourself to. I told moms we’d bring her back a baby, not a witch that may latch onto your body.”

Khadijah frowns, “why would you think Blanche would latch onto mine and not yours?”

“Whoever! And I really can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re trying to mess with some spirits.”

Khadijah wasn’t trying to “‘mess with spirits,” she always respected the dead but this sounded better than visiting the catacombs to be honest.

So she challenged, “Hey! It’s something to do.”

“I can find plenty of other things we can get into.” Rio placed his chin into the palm of his hand, “We’re not about to be here much longer anyway.”

Khadijah sighs as she grabs Rio’s hand to place in her lap, “I’ll let you try out our new toy at the same time while you’re inside…”

Rio’s eyes begin to darken as they meet Khadijah’s much lighter ones. This was a promising bargain and this Khadijah knew as Rio trailed his own hand up her stomach, between her breasts, and to grip her chin.

“You’re lucky I love you,” Rio states as he presses their lips together and leads the way with his tongue dancing along hers.

It’s passionate and a little nasty just the way the married couple liked their kisses but brief enough that he leaves Khadijah panting on the passenger side. He smirks to himself, lifting up from the driver’s side to pull out his Glock 17 from his black jeans to rest on the dashboard.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Rio tells Khadijah who shortly follows through, “and not a word of this to my abuelita.”

Khadijah makes a cross my heart motion as Rio puts the car in drive.

The drive to this supposed haunted home was a good half hour north from where they were staying and the decline of the countryside was clear. There seemed to be no livelihood as the skies got even darker. Rio could sense to the left of him that Khadijah seemed to be at unease the deeper they got into the area.

He checks in, “How we doing?”

“Hm? Oh, there it is. Stop.”

Rio turns his attention back to the lack of road up ahead and notices that there’s a tunnel with no lighting. He steps on the breaks, witnessing to the left of the tunnel the narrow road carried upwards to what exactly? That he didn’t know. There was no homes or animals in sight on this drive since they started getting further away from the chateau.

“What’s this?”

“That’s the tunnel that leads to Blanche’s house.” Khadijah is sitting on the edge of the passenger seat now.

Rio tightens his hold on the steering wheel, eyes scanning the scenery with the help of the automatic headlights. If they went through that tunnel, which was surely to be just as narrow as the roads out here in the countryside he wasn’t positive they would make it back. His intuition  was telling him since the beginning that this didn’t feel right and being physically here was enough to confirm that for Rio.

Turning his eyes into slits towards the right of the tunnel, Rio can see a decaying headstone with a bunch of colorful ribbons tossed around and possibly some rocks that were most likely teabags scattered below it.

“This is what you came for,” Rio says keeping his eyes on the road.

“Oui-Oui.” Khadijah says suddenly halfhearted and any other time Rio would have laughed but the expression on her face made him aware that the tension was also felt by her as well.

Rio steps on the gas, driving full speed towards the tunnel but stops just at edge, parallel to the headstone, making Khadijah grip the dashboard at the abruptness.

“Get going, sweetheart.” Rio tells Khadijah with a lift of his chin.

Khadijah swallows, prying her eyes away from the tunnel then to the headstone and back to her husband. “W-what? You’re not coming with me?”

“I never said I was going in there. I have sense.” Rio tapped at his temple.

Khadijah glares, “wow. So here’s to trying new things was just another one of your lies then huh?”

“Another? Don’t go there, I’m not doing that with you this evening. You brought this terrible idea to me and I brought you here so go head, show me you’re the one who isn’t scared.” Rio’s hardened stare was now on the fuming woman.

Khadijah didn’t know what the fuck Rio’s problem was and why he thought this energy was okay? Khadijah didn’t like Rio’s tone so she snatched her baguette bag from beside her feet and went to push on the door but remained right inside.

“Are you serious?!”

Rio made a U-Turn and began driving back in the direction they came, “are you forreal thinking I’m about to have our asses messing around with the actual dead? Let alone your indecisive ass? And we don’t even have the full context?”

“I mean…do you not have bodies? You don’t see me questioning you about them.” Khadijah muttered.

Rio snapped his eyes to his wife, “two completely different things and you know that.”

It really wasn’t but okay, if Rio hated her riding the fence then let’s see if he hated it now.

“Whatever.” Khadijah slouched against the seat, “You just wasted our time, like why entertain the fact that you were with it if you’re just gonna try to clown me?”

“I wasn’t letting you do that and you should have known that.” Rio clenched his jaw, “I would never willingly put you in harm’s way and that’s exactly what you were signing up for.”

Khadijah knows Rio wouldn’t and if she wanted to be petty she could but she just mumbles, “You just ruined spooky season in France like?”

“Better throw that ribbon and teabags out the window and get glad. Who knows what would have happened if we went down that dark ass tunnel with only the Glock against a whole spirit mind you, that we don’t even know if she’s still vengeful or not.”

“I mean you make valid arguments…and I don’t even know if the house is still standing. The last update online was from 2021 so I guess I can’t be too pressed about it.” Khadijah explains as she starts to search through her bag, “but you can’t say I was indecisive this time, yet you locked me in here like I’m a child.”

Rio deeply exhales, rubbing at his face in slight aggravation, “yeah we gotta get back to Detroit and quick. I think you need to go back to work and continue spreading peaceful energy at that non-profit instead whatever this is.”

“What?” Khadijah sucked her teeth, “Trying to be on theme?”

“We could easily rent a movie at the spot and call it a day.”

“I wanna be one with nature!”

“As soon as we get far away from Blanche’s murder site, I’ll take the locks off so you can touch some grass.”

“Ohhhh, I cannot stand you!” Khadijah scowled followed by some laughter before ghosting her fingers over the window button, “is this going to work for me or am I still being held hostage?”

Rio just hums to himself, glancing in the rear view spotting a blur of white in the distance along with something that wasn’t tumbleweed rolling right by their feet.

Khadijah doesn’t notice as she cracks the window to toss a pink ribbon and a teabag out on the dirt road.

And when she looks in the rearview, she doesn’t see anything unusual or creepy. So she rolls her window back up and presses her elbow into the arm of the door, resting her cheek along her fingers, watching the night scenery whip by her highlighter eyes.

Soon Rio’s hand reaches for the Glock to rest in the cup holders before sneaking his hand over to bring Khadijah’s hand up to his lips. He knew she was a little sour with him over this and probably a bunch of other built up issues but Khadijah always tried to make the best of it.

Rio was trying to get better at validating her feelings but this shit right here was not it and Khadijah knew that inside. Which is why he had a more safer route up his sleeve to spend the day with Khadijah tomorrow since celebrating Halloween was apparently too american for the French. So he did the best that he could choosing a theme park that would be “on theme” for Khadijah’s spooky cravings.

That would be his gift to her and routine of keeping her best interest at heart, even if she didn’t fully want to see it that way sometimes…

Ah, she’ll be aight.

𒅒𒈔𒅒𒇫𒄆 𒅒𒈔𒅒𒇫𒄆 𒅒𒈔

Continue along with my October anthology prompts here.

[dirtybitfic]

HALLOWSEVE

matt sturniolo fanfiction

contains ~ mask kink, party, drinking, smoking,running (you'll see what I mean), choking , slapping, (Nick names like ma baby slut and sir)SMUTTTTT

y/n pov~

I was getting ready to go to this party in a graveyard tonight.

you may be thinking why the actual fuck is someone throwing a party in a graveyard. Buuuuut that's a very normal in the small town I live in . Everybody's parents are either always home or they'll snitch if someone has a party without their parents knowing so we have all our partys in the graveyard.

the grave yard is on the west side of town which is the more rugged part most of the super hot bad boys with tattoos like on that side of town. my side of town is the more "proper" side . My parents expect me to get a's and b's always have a clean room and never do anything that will look bad and bring shame to their name.

I HATE MY FUCKING PARENTS like im just a girl who wants to go out have fun and make bad decisions from time to time so when hallows eve rolls around I get EXTRA fucking excited for the weekend.

This year im dressing chuckys bride Tiffani. I think the movies are a good laugh and I just love the makeup for it so it was an easy choice.

This is the entire outfit .

I had already put my dress on and decided to do some fake blood to spice up the look for some reason I feel really hot covered in blood.

I based my makeup on this look but just kept my normal eyebrows and drew them in black and shaped them a little thinner. I decided it was time to get my wig on.

My best friend Lena just got here so I went down to let her in and damn she looks so hot .

HEY BIIITCH

HEYYY YOU LOOK SO FUCKING HOT

YOU TOO ALL COVERED IN BLOOD AND SHIT

YOU DONT THINK ITS TOO MUCH

NO GIRL IT MAKES YOUR LOOK 10 TIMES HOTTER

OKAY GOOD LET ME GET MY STOCKINGS AND BOOTS ON THEN WE CAN START WALKING TO THE PART OKAY.

alright I'll wait in the living room.

okay ill just be a second

I went and threw on my stocking and boots and grabbed my pen and put it in my pocket in my jacket along with my phone.

Okay lets get going

we started walking and surprisingly the boots are easy and confortahbe to walk in so far . the walk is about 20 minutes.

we would drive but lena totaled her car last moth and since my parents are always gone on business trips they told me they didn't feel like buying me a car said it waisted their money. sooo yeah I don't have a car due to my parents greed. lovely right .

girl I can't wait to see the westside guys tonight.

same bitch same I need to see some men who actually have a personality and are hot all the guys on our side of town are boring

no for real they are bland and can't fuck for shit

I just know half these west side boys are crazy in bed

I bet they are dominant too

oooh bitch and if I see a man in a mask im jumping on his plain and simple

realest shit I've heard in weeks and trust girl if I see a man covered in tattoos with lights eyes and light hair he's mine plain and simple

you know I've always wanted to be fucked in a grave yard and chase through one and oh my god imagine a man dragging you into the crypts fuck that would be the best night of my life

fuckkk bitch that actually sounds like the actual hottest thing ever.

RIGHT LIKE DRAG ME DOWN THOSE STAIRS IN THE DARK AS I KICK AND SCREAM IN FEAR AS YOU DRAG ME BY MY HAIR AND THROW ME ON THE GROUND AS FUCK ME LIKE A SLUTTTT

damn girl you really need some dick tonight cause wow that was a lot

buuuuut I agree

hahah yeahhh that's if I can find a man worth my time you know im picky

yeah I know but hey I have a feeling this hallows eve is gonna be a good one

I fucking hope so

we start to get closer to the graveyard and start to hear faint music as we got closer

we got to the gates and saw a shit tone of people in the further back of the yard drinking and dancing the music was a lot louder now as we walked through the gates and over around the people who were dancing.

I pulled out my pen and took a couple hits handing it to lena to take a couple hits.

hey y/n I hear behind me I turn around to see its a guy from my chemistry class I don't remember his name and honestly I don't care to try .

umm hi

you look really hot I almost didn't recognize you

oh yeah what gave it away

your ass I could spot it from a mile away

oh how nice well if you'll excuse me i'm gonna go get a drink

oh um yeah okay we'll see you in class monday

mmhm yeah bye

I hate men like what the fuck you could have said my eyes or my hands or anything else but my fucking ass but noooo

I was walking over to the coolers the I spotted a tall man holding a ghost face mask in his hand talking to some other super hot guys .

they looked a bit older maybe early 20s but fuck me the one holding the mask is so hot i'm drooling . I bent over to grab a drink and he turned around looking at something deeper in the woods I followed his direction and saw a crypt slowly peep out of the shadows.

it looked so ominous and creepy which excited me but I looked back at him to find him starting at me .

I took a deep breathe as we made deep eye contact he started smirking at me and then made his way over to me I just stood here maintaining eye contact as a small smile crept onto my face.

I know I said I was picky but fuck the man is everything I want and more he's tall, blue eyes dark hair , a sexy ass smirk, and is covered in tattoos. He has a lure to him and im determined to find out what it is .

as he stands infant of me I have to look up to meet his gaze .

god his face looks like it was carved from the gods his jaw is so sharp and his cheekbones are so sculpted along with his very dead boy eye that drive me up a wall.

what's your name beautiful

I almost folded right then and there his voice is deep and demanding it send sock waves straight to my pussy.

y/n

it nice to meet you y/n

its nice to meet you too uuuh

matt

Matt its nice to meet you

so you in high school y/n

yep im a senior

nice nice so your like what 18

im a actually 19 I uh failed first grade

hmmm interesting

why is that interesting

it thought girls like you never failed anything so poised and perfect all the time

yeah well I guess it'll come as a shock to you im far from perfect and poised

oh really he says with a smirk

yep sure is

okay then what's the craziest thing you've done

I broke into my ex boyfriends house and smashed his car to pieces when I found out he was cheating on me

damn fiesty, I like that

yeah he messed with the wrong fucking bitch. most people think im little miss perfect when im actually just a psychotic mess

a very sexy psychotic mess

oh really

yeah princess this might come a shock but I don't normally talk to girls at these parties but there's something about you I just couldn't resist

as long as you don't say it was my ass well be good

why would I say it was your ass

ah some loser form one of my classes said the only reason he could tell I was me tonight was my ass because he could pick it out of a crowd pretty much

well that's objectifying

right like ew I mean yeah I know my ass is nice I mean I guess but why did he think that would make me like him

cause hes a little fucking high school boy

oh yeah so im guessing your not in high school anymore

nope graduated 2 years ago im 20

god I can't wait to be out of that hell whole and leave this town

yeah I get that small towns are meant for everyone

yeah its definitely not the place I wanna be living fir the rest of my life

same ... hey you wanna go for a walk go check out the crypts

id love too

he grabs my hand as we start walking further in the the grave yard I look back and see lena talking to one of his friends who I know is her type so she won't be missing me and I sure won't be missing her with Matt right next to me.

so you ever gonna it mask on matt

why do you want me too

maybe maybe not

I will later youll see

well that was kinda creepy wait your not taking me out her to murder me are you

no id never kill someone so beautiful it would be such a waste

I just looked up at him smiling at this point we already passed the first crypt he had been eyeing earlier and were so far form he party the music is no longer in ear shot.

the only sound is the leaves crunching under our feet and the cicadas its slightly creepy but it also has me becoming a bit turned on .

I sigh as I see flashes of Matt chasing me in his mask and dragging me into a crypt and fucking my brains out

what is that pretty little mind of yours thinking right now princess

what oh uhhh nothing nothing

that sigh didn't sound like nothing

okay fine I was just thinking about a fantasy ive always had about this grave yard and the crypts

okay explain he says as we come to a stop and he sits down on one of the raised graves. I go to sit next to him but he pulls me onto his lap.my breathe hitches as the sudden contact of my ass on his lap but I just stare off ahead of us at the willow trees surrounding the wooded areas.

I feel his breathe on my neck

tell me this fantasy ma

the nick name has me becoming wet its so hot

well its starts off with me being chased through the graves and the woods to the biggest crypt and the guy chasing me catches me and drags me down the stairs of the crypt and throws me to the floor fucking me as he calls me his dirty little slut amongst other things.

wow very detailed how long have you had this fantasy

since I was 16

hmm have you ever told anyone else about this before

yeah one of my ex boyfriends . I told him before we were coming to a party here seeing if he would make it a reality and he stopped the car told me to get out and walk and said I was mentally ill and disgusting and broke up with me.

what a pussy I mean a guy like me would have jumped at the chance for a girl to even have a fantasy remotely like that.

what do you mean a guy like you

a dominant man who isn't scared of a little fun and games

mmmm I moan as I shift on his lap

are you a submissive type of girl y/n

ye-yeah I guess

you like when a man takes control tells you how much of a slut you are as he makes you shake and cry underneath him hmm

oh fuck im so turned on right now I dotnt even know how to react

ohh yeah I bet you do . you like when a guy smacks you ass so hard it leaves a mark or when a guy slaps you across the face so hard you head snaps to the opposite side.

mmm yeah I-i d-do

someones a little turned on . aren't you ma

mmm was all I could get out a small moan answering his question

he slaps my thigh hard causing me to gasp.

answer me when I ask you a fucking question

ye-yes im sorry

im sorry what

im sorry sir

mmm good girl now stand up

what w-why

because I fucking told you too now stand up

I stood up and turned sound to face him I kept my head down as he stood tall and slim infant of me . I saw his hand holding the mask move up and I followed his movements he held the mask next to face smirking.

you got a mask kink ma?

wh-what I -

don't even think about lying to me right now

I sighed looking down yes I whispered

what was that im sorry I couldn't hear you

I said yes

drop the attitude

yes sir

good girl he says as he slips the mask on making my stomach flutter and a gush of arousal soak my underwear

now im gonna give you a head start

wh- a head start for w-what

your fantasy ma you better start running

b-but im in heels what if I--

1...2...

I turn and start sprinting the best I can in these fucking boots. I can't believe this is actually happening right now the hottest guy i've ever seen is making my fantasy a reality. He had no hesitation and I know for damn sure he is gonna fulfill my needs just the way he carries himself tells me he knows how to make a girl feel good .

I start to run out of momentum I turn to see him coming in hot behind me as he runs into me grabbing me from behind causing me to scream from the impact.

caught ya

mm seems like it what a shame im breathing hard from running so far

he throws me over his shoulder causing me to let a small laugh out

get all your laughs out now ma cause i'll have you doing nothing but screaming in a second .

all I did was moan at the thought. He gave my ass a hard slap causing me to moan into his back

he came to a stop and set me down I turned to see why he stopped and was met with a large stone entry way with a door at the end.

wow

yeah creepy right

yeah but also beautiful

come on ma time to get you screaming my name

oh fuck I said as he grabbed my arm and started dragging me towards the door

he kicked the door open easily and started ascending the stairs I stumbled into his back causing him to yank me infant of him as he held me by the hair .

mm ow matt

keep fucking walking your fine

its so da-dark

what you scared of the dark or something

k-kinda y-yeah

aww cute

I heard the flick of a lighter and then there was light shining down the stairs I guess there was a torch on the wall because he lit it and handed it me so I could carry it and see as we kept walking down the stairs. Once we reaches the bottom I looked around taking in our surroundings.

there were more torches on the walls so I went and lit them with the one I was holding then put it out so I could set it down.

I turned to look at Matt he had taken the mask off and threw it aside I could finally see his beautiful face again causing me to smile .

what?

nothing just like looking at you

oh really and why is that?

I don't know your just so... beautiful ... dark and mysterious but you feel so --- safe and warm you know

wow ... ive never been described like that before

oh really? how are you usually described

dark, mean , cold, asshole , crazy

I don't think that at all

im glad you don't I like your description much more

yeah me too he walked towards me and stood right infant of me

he put his hand around my neck chocking me slightly making me look up at him.

( listen to My own summer and beware by deaftones and for the next part)

he leans down so are lips are almost touching .

Im gonna ruin you

do it

He attaches our lips the kiss is deep and needy.

His other hand moves to my ass giving it a squeeze making me moan into the kiss.

He moves his hand from my neck down to my jacket taking it off. then moving my dress straps down my arms pulling the top to bunch at my waist as he breaks the kiss and moves down to neck sucking and biting leaving marks in his way.

mmmm matt i moan as he moves to my tits liking and sucking my nipples.I tug at his shirt wanting him to take it off and he does .

Get on your knees now

I get down to my knees and look up at him waiting for his next move he started undoing his belt and I just watch as his large veiny hands move to his button and zipper of his jeans pulling them down.

He's left in his boxers and I can see his large dick print being confined by the thin fabric .

well are you gonna just sit there or do I need to tell you what to do

I move to remove his boxers as his dick pops out . I start salivating just looking at it he's pretty big and thick too .

I take him in my hand and pump a couple times before giving the head small kisses and licks I go down to the base and lick up them take him in my mouth

mmm fuck that's a good girl

I moan around his tip from his small praise and continue to suck hard but at a slow pace trying my best not to gag.

He takes my hair in his hands and starts thrusting into my mouth causing me to gag and tears to well up in my eyes.

Good girl sucking me in so good

I moan again causing him to throw his head back and thrust harder after a second he pulls out of my mouth as I start couching .

He kneels down in front of me putting his hand on my chest and pushes me back til im laying on my back on the rough ground.

Im gonna make you cum so hard your legs are shaking around my head ma

oh fuck matt please

He takes off my dress and panties so I’m fully exposed to him.

he moves down so his head is between my legs . I jump when he starts sucking on my clit and god the things he's doing with his mouth are enough to send me over the edge in under a minute.

FUCK MMMM

feel good ma

yes fuck uhhh so good

mmmm he hums as he sucks on my clit sending me into a shaking orgasm.

mmmm FUCK MATT im cumming

mmmm good girl look at you shaking from just my mouth

I thought he was done but he keeps licking and sucking then he adds two fingers into me causing my legs to shake uncontrollably.

F-FUCKK MATT ITS T-TOO M-MUCH I CANT

awww yes you can ma give me one more I know you can

mmmmm fuck... fuck matt im so close

mmm he groans as he licks my clit and moves his fingers in and out at a fast pace his other hand moves under my thigh lifting it over his shoulder .

My breathing is rapid as I feel my second orgasm moving in at a rapid rate. But this time I know damn well im gonna squirt so I chose to warn him.

M-MATT fuck im g-gonna squirt

mmmm good girl soak my face baby give it to me

f-fuck fuck oh my god

such a good girl you gonna quirt all over me

FUCK UHHH-MA-MATT IM GONNA .... FUCKKKKK

I scream as I quirt all over him

gooooood girl that's it ma

fuck matt I say as I come down from my high

awww look at your legs shaking

shut up

all 4s now

matt your so big I don't know if I can h- before I finish my sentence he grabs me by the neck

I wasn't fucking asking now do as your told

yes sir I say kind of bratty

fix your tone when you speak to me slut he says as he lightly slaps me across the face and fuck was it the hottest thing ever.

I move to all 4s and spread my legs for him.

Good girl he says as he lines himself up with my leaking entrance.

Go slow please matt I say knowing this is gonna hurt.

I will ma don't worry he says as he slowly starts sliding his tip in

mmm ... fuck I say as I felt him stretching me wide causing a burning sensation.

You okay ma he asks sweetly .

mmhm just h-hurts a little

I know you can take it ma its okay I got you

he bottoms out hitting so deep in me . It hurts so good

mm fuck your so tight ma

mmm- fu-fuck matt your stretching me s-so much

I know ma I know tell me when to move

I gave myself a little time to adjust

o-okay you can m-move

he starts thrusting slow and deep the pain starts to slowly go away and starts feeling like heaven.

fuck faster matt

try asking again he says slapping my ass hard causing me to gasp

p-please sir please fuck me faster

such a good girl for me

he starts pounding into me at a faster pace sending shock waves through my whole body .

FUCK MATT MMM S-SO DEEP

mmm yeah you like that slut

fuck ...Y-YES FUCK

such a good slut taking me so well

the degrading name makes me clench around him

aww you like when I call you a slut huh

y-yes I-l-love it

he brings his hand to hair clenching it hard in his fist as his other hand goes onto my back making me arch even more for him causing him to hit so deep it makes my legs uncontrollably shake.

F-FUCK MATT YOUR TO DEEP I-CA-CANT T-TAKE IT

yes you can slut he growls out through gritted teeth

N-NO I CANT I say harshly bringing my hand back pushing on his stomach trying to push him away .

he grabs my arm harshly holding it behind my back as his hand in my hair moves to my throat gripping it hard.

your gonna fucking take it like a good little girl

N-no

no? he says harshly as his hips fault to a stop and he pulls me up to meet his chest as he grips my neck harder.

since you wanna sit like a fucking brat he says as he shoves me face down on the rough ground holding both of my hands behind my back

he lowers himself so his breathe Is hitting my ear causing me to shiver

ill fucking treat you like one he says as he starts thrusting rough, fast, deep and harder than ive ever been fucked in my life.

M-MATTT FUCK FUCK

aww what's wrong am I being to rough

Y-YES MATT PLEASE FUCK P-

please what

PLEASE I-CA-CANT T-TAKE IT I-MMM FUCK

you know your mouth is saying one thing but your pussy is saying something completely different

MMM FU-FUCK SHIT Y-YOUR SO DEEP

you like it when I fuck you like a bratty slut and you can't say no I feel you clenching my fucking cock

mmmm F-FUCK yes

yes what slut he takes both my hands in one hand and brings his down harshly on my ass

ye-yes sir fuck sir I lo-love it

atta girl you gonna cum for me

ye-yes sir mmm fuck he starts pounding me harder than I ever thought was possible as he slaps my ass harshly

cum on my cock me give it to ma

F-FUCK M-MATT MMMMM I scream as I cum all over his cock.

He keeps pounding into me harshly I started to come down. from my high as my legs were shaking and starting to give out under my weight.

m-MATT I ca-cant keep myself up m-much longer

he pulls out slapping my ass

flip over for me ma

I flip over laying on my back holding onto my legs trying to stop them from shaking but it doesn't help at all.

Keep eye contact for ill stop got it

y-yes sir

good girl he says as he lines himself back up to my entrance

he slides back in and starts pounding into me deep and slow he grabs my legs bringing them up onto his shoulders hitting me so deeply I can feel him in my stomach.

F-FUCK MATT YOUR S-SO BIG

he brings one hand down onto my stomach as he feels himself inside me as his other one moves to my neck shocking me not too hard but the perfect amount of pressure to drive me crazy.

fuck your so fucking wet for me mama

mmmm fu-fuck matt i th-think I gonna squirt

the pressure he is applying on my lower stomach has me about to turn into a damn fountain.

squirt all over me baby soak me

F-FUCK MATT I- I can't even finish what I was saying as I felt myself let go all over him.

fuuuuuck your so fucking hot

mmm fu-fuck matt

he starts pounding into me again my legs won't stop shaking around his neck and I start to feel overstimulated.

m-matt i ca-cant take it a-anymore pl-please

yes you can baby I know you can

I try to push him out of me by pushing on his toned abdomen with only causes him to slap me across the face making me whine out .

keep you hands down understand

y-yes sir I-im s-sorry

good girl im getting close ma I promise just hold on for a little longer

f-fuck okay

he sets my legs so they are around his waist as he brings his body flush against mine as he fuck me deep and rough

F-FUCK MATT MMMM

I start clawing at his back from over stimulation .

fu-fuck ma I can feel you clenching again

I claw his back deeper as I feel pressure building in my stomach and then suddenly snap

fuck ma your squirting again jesus

I didn't even know I was squirting all I felt was extra pleasure run through me

F-fuck matt mmm god

I squirt over and over I can't seem to stop (nah cause this happened to me in real life it was Lowkey disturbing not gonna lie a bitch was in pain the next day)

Jesus y/n ive never seen some one squirt so much so close together

I c-cant s-stop

I know baby its okay

I claw down his back harder and I bury my face into his shoulder as I bite down as I squirt again my legs are shaking so much they start cramping but I literally can not stop squirting and its driving me crazy .

F-fuck ma your soaking me j-jesus christ

I-im sorry

don't be sorry this is the hottest thing ever

mmmmmm FUCK I scream as I quirt even harder from his hips angling even more hitting deeper

fuck ma im gonna cum

fu-fuck matt fill me up p-please fuck

yeah you wanna be a good little cum slut

Y-YES FUCK MATT PLEASE I scream I squirt yet again as it starting to make my stomach hurt

his hips start to sputter and his thrusts become sloppy.

f-fuck im cuming he says as I feel his warm cum fill me up I moan out as I squirt one last time before his thrusts stop and he pulls out .I feel our mixed liquids running out of my pussy.

fuck that was ... the best sex.. ive ever h-had I say as I laugh a little curling my legs into my chest as my entire body is shaking and tears are streaming down my face.

F-fuck after that I never wanna fuck anyone else

I laugh as I shake uncontrollably I th-think you broke me

aww baby im sorry was a actually to rough

n-no I fucking loved it I just don't think ill be able to stand let alone walk out of here I laughed casein g him to chuckle and shake his head.

he went and grabbed his clothes putting them on and then coming back over to me helping me up my knees immediately buckle so he has to hold me up against the wall so I don't fall as he helps me putt my outfit back on. I felt my back burning really bad as he slid my dress over my head.

OW FUCK I cried out as the stinging got worse

wh-what what's wrong

my-b-back is burning like another fucker

he spins me around JESUS im so sorry it must have been from your backing rubbing on the ground you have big strawberries all over your back

eh honestly I deserve it I definitely did a mean number on your back

uuuh yeah you think he turns around lifting his shirt showing me his back I gasp.

OH JESUS MATT why didn't you stop me those are deep and bleeding

well I uh- I have a pain kink so I thoroughly enjoyed it

o-oh well then I guess your welcome

yes thank you very very much he says as he turns around and gives me a sweet and soft kiss .

come on your coming home with me

I try to walk but my legs fail me and he laughs at me

stop laughing bitch you did this to me

watch that pretty little mouth or your getting round two when we get home

as much as I enjoyed this I could not handle anymore tonight so I brought my hand up to my mouth acting like Im zipping them and threw away the key

come on drama queen he says as he picks me up and I lock my arms around his neck and legs around his waist

I keep my head sizzled into his chest as he blows out the torches on the walls and grabs the last lit one and makes his way back up the stairs he blows out the torch as we walk out of the crypt.

as we approach the part of the grave yard the party was going on in I hear the faint music again I start to feel embarrassed about the state i'm in right now . He walks over to his friends .

Damn bro you have been gone for three fucking hours

God is she even alive anymore

I let out a small giggle at his friends statement.

Yeah yeah funny bro she's fine but were heading home so ill catch you guys later

okay bye bro

byeeee I say as I smile and wave at them as matt walks away from them.

they all just laugh and shake their heads

your friends seem fun

yeah their pretty cool

oh my god y/n

we both look over at my best friend

You been gone for three fucking hours I thought you were dead

no no im fine I promise

she smirks at me as her eyes run over my face and body that is still clinging to matt.

wow you guys had a lot of fun

yep sure did im matt by the way

nice to meet you matt well y/n I guess your going home with him huh

yep sure am I love you and we'll talk tomorrow okay

okay I love you

I love you too

matt walks us all the way to his car he opens the door and sets me down as he shuts the door and gets into the drivers side.

he starts up the car and drives to him house . he parks the car then hops out to help me out and we slowly walk to the door as he unlocks it and we enter.

wanna showers pretty girl

yes please

alright come on its upstairs

we get to the bathroom and he sets me down on the toilet .

go pee im gonna grab a change of clothes for us real quick

okay I finish up my business ad he come back in and helps me get my clothes off and I take my wig off and undo the braid bun I did under the wig.

wow I love your natural hair

aww thank you I said smiling

you wouldn't happen to have like makeup remover or face wash would you

um let me check my mom might have left some in the guest bathroom last time she was here

okay thank you

as he left the bathroom I smiled to myself and the looked over the work he did on my neck and chest then I looked down at my knees seeing that they are scraped and bruising.

I turned to look at my back and Jesus it was so scraped that there was blood and it was also bruising.

here you go my mom left these makeup wipes

thank you I said as I grabbed them and took my makeup off

you know I never thought about how bad a crypt floor would damage my body when I had my fantasy

yeahhh we probably should have thought about that

mm yeah. but hey it was worth it

sure was . You know I didn't even wanna go to that party but im glad I did

oh yeah? and why is that?

I would have never met the most beautiful girl ive ever seen and fucked her into oblivion

mmmm yeah I guess your right and thank you for the compliment

of course ma now lets shower

we hopped into the shower and we washed each others bodys both hissing when the soap and water hit our tainted backs .

we got out and dried off as we put on our change of clothes .

sorry I didn't you know have a change of underwear for you but I there yours in the wash so they are clean for you tomorrow

oh its okay thank you

of course wanna go to bed im fucking exhausted

yes please im spent

he led me to his room and we crawled under the covers as he turned on his fan .

we cuddled into each other as we started to drift off to sleep in each others arms.

hey y/n

yeah matt

I know we just met tonight and stuff but uh would you maybe wanna go out on a real date sometime

yes id love that matt I looked at him smiling as he smiled at me placing a sweet kiss on my forehead .

we fell asleep and that was that.

Gooooooooood NIIIIIIIGHT xoxo

[hanta-seros-wifey]

lacrosse and cheer- hanta sero x f!reader

summary: in a quirkless AU, hanta sero and our dear reader find themselves in a fake relationship to ward off exes (toru hagakure & juzo honenuki). maybe they’ll fall in love?

authors note: okay this has been BREWING for the past couple of weeks and i’ve finalized the plot and everything. weekly updates, our lovely class 1A will be aged up to 3rd years, class 1B appreciation alright, reader is part of the dekusquad.

chapter 8: christmas & many seasons

DECEMBER-FEBRUARY

warning: smut at the end of this chapter!!!!

you sat down in the 1b common room with juzo. your feet were tucked under you as you took a sip from your mug. “im sorry for finally being able to get to this conversation juz” you smile sadly and he waves you off. “its fine i love seeing you happy again” he smiles at you and you give him one back.

“so the day of the break up” you start and let out a huff setting your mug down on the table. juzo leans his head on his hand and stares at you intently. “i was a bitch” you said letting out a small chuckle. “i’ve apologized many times now and im sorry i humiliated you in front of both A and B classes” you said with your head hung low.

“i did love you juz, i still do feel that love for you” you said smiling sadly at him and he returned it to you. “i loved hanta at the time too, i’ve had this massive crush on him since our first year i swear” you said letting out a small laugh.

“know that i’ll always still have that love for you too” he said softly and you smiled at him. “first loves come on now” he said nudging your shoulder and you laughed. “youre my best friend and im sorry for how i treated you in the past” you said leaning your head on his shoulder.

“its okay” he said fiddling with his fingers and resting his head on yours too. “i dont think i can be with anyone for awhile though” he admits and you furrow your eyebrows. “whys that?” you hummed looking at his fingers as he played with them. “just a lot on my plate, having a girlfriend seems like a recipe for disaster right now if i cant give her the time she deserves” he explained and you nodded.

“well when that day comes where you decide to give it a shot i better be the first to know not tetsutetsu” you giggle as you glanced over at tetsutetsu. he was bothering itsuka and neito with something. classic tetsu. “so plans for the holidays?” he asked and you shrugged.

“hanta and i are planning a joint christmas party with our families and be back here for new years with everyone” you nodded your head and he does the same. “sounds nice” he says and you look up at him. “and you? what are your plans?” you asked and he shrugs.

“still debating on it” is all he answers and you dont push it. “now missy there is one thing we havent gone over” juzo said shifting his body to turn to yours. “which is?” you said confused. “how good was shoto?” he whispered to you and your eyes widened.

you smacked his arm. “juzo how could you bring it up” you said playfully. “hmm” you said leaning back thinking about it. “i give it 8/10” you said giving juzo a smirk. “it was pretty good” you said throwing your hands in the air defensively.

“it was very soft, slow, but also passionate if that makes sense?” you said and juzo nodded. “yea could tell it was so good by the hickies he had left, wondered how the poor boy’s back looked like” he said indicating your nails.

“oh it was bad, his neck, chest, and back” you shrugged and smirked. “poor hanta too he has to go through that” he said leaning back. “bro likes it cmon now” you joked and he laughs. “the marks just show how much i love him” you wink and he pushed your head lightly while laughing.

“you nasty” he said shoving you lightly. “are we shoving y/n now?! i wanna do it too!” you heard tetsutetsu yell out and he came over shoving you lightly and jumping down to sit on the other side of you.

“you got a little something right there” tetsutetsu says smirking and doing a little circle motion to a spot on your neck. “conversations done im heading back to my room” you said pushing him off of you and pulling juzo with you.

“walk me back loser” you smiled and juzo followed you out as you waved bye to the others. he gives you a hug as he drops you off at the door of the dormitory complex. “bye juz” you squeezed him lightly as you both pull away. “i’ll see you later y/n” he said and turned around to start walking back to his dormitory complex.

you walked in to find denki, hanta, eijiro, and katsuki surrounding eri, showing her something. you sigh as you watch and decide to help the poor girl out. “alright thats enough what are you losers showing her?” you said placing your hands gently on eri’s shoulders.

“how to play on the nintendo switch” eri answered for them and you squinted your eyes at the screen. your eyes widened and you immediately took the controller away from eri and scooped her up. you covered her eyes and ears. “guys she’s 7 years old” you hissed at them and denki shrugged.

“whats the big deal its just a bunch of zombies anyway” he defended and you stopped walking. “imagine how mr. aizawa would feel if he caught your dumbasses” you hissed some more and walked away with eri. “means im in trouble guys” you heard hanta say and he followed you into the elevator.

you smacked his arm as the boys let out “oooh’ss”. you looked up at hanta as eri wrapped her small arms around your neck. “what were you thinking??!??” you scolded him and he shrugged. “it was denki’s idea” he shrugged and you squinted your eyes at him.

“what are your plans for christmas?” eri asked which made the two of you turn to her. “were going home and having a small christmas party with our families” you smiled at her and she gave you one back. “how about you? what are you and mr. aizawa doing?” hanta asked her.

“were doing something with uncle hizashi, uncle oboro, and auntie nemuri” she said nodding her head confirming it. “aww how nice” you smiled and she nodded. “we’ll be back for new years, will you guys be too?” she asked and you nodded. “planning a class 3A & 3B new year party, mina and eijiro are planning it” hanta said as the elevator dinged and it opened.

hanta led you to his dorm and you put eri down as she walked in. she immediately runs to the hammock and lays down closing her eyes. “now eri” you start and she looks st you, eyes widened. “do not tell your dad what these idiots showed you okay?” you told her and she nodded her head in understanding. you high-fived her. “atta girl” you said laughing.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

CHRISTMAS

you walked around your living room as your brought more wine for hanta’s parents. they thanked you as you poured it into their wine glasses, giving you a big smile. “you chose right son” his dad said and you blush as you motion for hanta to follow you into the kitchen.

the kitchen was lonely and you placed the wine onto the counter and turned to him. you smiled up at him as you reached up to plant a kiss onto his lips. his hands immediately wrapped around your waist. “mhm i love you” you mumbled against his lips as you smiled.

you felt him smile too as he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you more passionately. “i love you more” he mumbled against your mouth. “hey quit locking lips over there!” your mom yelled out and you pulled away laughing.

"come over here it's time for gift exchanges!" hanta's mom said excitedly as she moved towards the tree with her husband in tow. "cmon" you said dragging hanta with you. you sat next to each other as you grabbed your gifts for each person.

"can i go first please?" you asked and looked around and everyone nodded their heads. you passed out your gifts to hanta's parents, his twin sisters, hanta, and your mom. you sat nervously as they opened them.

they all loved their gifts and exchanged thank you's and hugs with you. after gift exchanging, hanta pulled you aside to give you one more gift secretly. "for you my princess" he smiled as he extended the gift to you. he sat on one of the stools in the kitchen as you stood between his legs.

you opened the mini box and gasped. his name on a necklace. you pulled it out and examined it. "it's so beautiful" you gasped as you held it with shaky hands. "here" he says grabbing it and motioned for you to turn around. he clasps it onto your neck and you turn around smiling.

"you so deserve head after this" you giggled and pulled him in for a kiss. "mhm you think i do?" he says against your lips. "duh" you said with a smirk as you walked upstairs after seeing no one was paying attention. "wait seriously now?" he questions as he gets up adjusting his crotch area and hurriedly walks up the steps.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

NEW YEARS EVE

you walked in to the dorm complex hand in hand with hanta. "hey theyre back!" eijiro exclaimed coming over to hug you and fist bunp hanta. "how was the drive man?" he asks hanta and he only sighs. "tiring" he sighs as he moves to fist bump katsuki and denki.

eri came into view and ran to hug your legs. "yay youre back!" she exclaims and you scoop her up. "how was christmas?" you ask her as eyes light up. "can i show you what dad, uncle hizashi, uncle oboro, and auntie nemi got me?!" she asked excitedly as she jumped out of your arms.

she ran towards her room and you laughed watching the energetic little girl. mina came out with decorations as she asked eijiro and the boys to help out. "rikido is baking sweets for the party!" mina called out and it's then you can smell bread and it smells wonderful.

eri came back and led you to sit on the sofa and she gave you a presentation of all the toys and clothes she received. she excitedly ran to hanta and dragged him over to sit down on the couch as she started once more. you went to go help the others as eri ran off with all her gifts back to her room.

within an hour and a half the common room was set up and ready for guests to start coming in. juzo, tetsutetsu, itsuka, neito, and yosetsu came in with the rest of class B trailing behind them. "thank you for inviting us" juzo said as he pulled you into a hug and moved on to fist bump hanta and the others. "OUR GIRL!" tetsutetsu yelled out and you laughed. "yup she's here" you said opening your arms for a hug.

he crashes into your arms, lifting you up slightly. he places you down and grasps onto your shoulders. “you know i love you right?” he says tilting his hesd as he bent down slightly to meet your eyes. “aww you love me?” you said childishly as you give him a cheesy smile.

“duh like my little sister” he says flicking your forehead. he kisses your forehead and stands up to his full height. “HEY EIJIRO” he yells out which causes you to flinch at the sudden raising of his voice. “MY MAN” they both say as they fist bump each other and give a brotherly hug.

more of class B piles in and its a full common room. eri runs around greeting everyone and you cant help but smile. kyoka’s playlist plays in the common room and some people are dancing. hizashi and nemuri are dancing and having fun.

“KEIGO TAKAMI IS AT MY PARTY” mina exclaims as she sees keigo and you laugh. “keep it together mina” you said bumping your hip into hers. keigo turns around and sends a wink to you and mina. you sigh adoringly as you watch him walk away and towards mr. aizawa.

“boo!” you heard and jumped up when someone planted their hands on both yours and mina’s shoulders. you turned to see yuga there as he throws his arms around the both of you. “a new year” he says somewhat sadly. you turned to him confused.

“why the sad tone yuga?” you asked kindly as you ran your fingers through his blond hair. “it means we graduate soon, off to different paths” he says and you smile at him. “we’ll make the most of it okay?” you said and he smiles and nods.

mina pulls him out to dance and you laugh watching them walk away. someone covers your eyes as two others grab onto your shoulders. “aw you caught me” you said sarcastically with a giggle. “guess who?” one said and you smile upon hearing his voice. “tenya i know its you” you said as momo giggled off to the side.

“shoto and izuku” you said and they pulled away and tackled you in a hug. “my favorite boys” you smiled so widely as you tried to hold them all in your arms. you failed considering they towered over you. you looked at everyone and your friends smiled at you. “we’ve missed you” tenya said nudging your shoulder and you look up at him.

“im sorry” you said with a sad smile. “its not my intention, you guys are my bestest friends ever” you said and they all stared at you with a smile. “dont apologize its okay, just you know you can bring hanta along right? we dont hate him” momo said pulling you into a hug.

“i know” you said accepting her embrace. “lets go dance!” ochaco exclaimed pulling you and momo along with her. the three of you danced, stumbling and giggling. tenya came and wrapped his arms around momo’s waist and she melted in his embrace. “awww” you gushed as izuku came up and did the same with ochaco.

strong arms wrapped around your waist as you turn to see hanta. you smiled and got on your tip toes to place a kiss on his lips. “countdown is starting” he mumbles against your lips as you moved to the couch. you watched the screen as everyone in the common room started the countdown.

“10”

“9”

“8”

“7”

“6”

“5”

“4”

“3”

“2”

“1”

“happy new year!!” everyone exclaimed and you giggled. hanta pulled you in gently and crashed his lips onto yours. you grab his arm and kiss back with so much force and passion. you both pulled away and he pulled you into him kissing your cheek as you let a series of giggles.

“i love you” he said as he stares in your eyes. “i love you more” you said smiling at him. mina and eijiro stood behind you two, snapping pictures of the moment for the two of you. “this is so cute!” mina gushed as eijiro pulled her in for a kiss.

eri ran around giving hugs to everyone and wishing them a happy new year. juzo walked up to you and smiled at you. “happy new year juz” you said pulling him into a side hug. “watch out” he warned as tetsutetsu came crashing into your arms crying out a “happy new year”, he was clearly drunk.

“aww tetsu” you joked patting his head as he clinged to your side. itsuka, yosetsy, and neito came in to join the group hug. “aw i love you guys” you gushed hugging them tighter if it was even possible. an hour or two later, the party was over and everyone went off to their respective dorms.

you grabbed onto the end of hanta’s shirt, smirking. “up to mine?” you said in a teasing tone. “how bout mine?” he offers and your eyes light up. “mhm yes” you sighed and he took your hand in his, leading you to his dorm. “can we use the hammock?” you said smiling and he stops to look at you. “youre on to something” he said picking you up and enetering his dorm and locking it.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

SHOTO’S 18th BIRTHDAY

you set everything up in his dorm room, with the help of ochaco and momo. hanta, izuku, and tenya took him out for a run to be able to pull this mission off. “okay it looks great” you smiled as you took a step back to admire the work you, ochaco, and momo did.

“aww for our sho” momo said taking a picture of the setup. the three of you walked out of shoto’s dorm room and walked down to the common room to wait for the boys. 20 minutes later they came running in, shoto coming in first.

“hi sho” you moved to get up and greet him as hanta, izuku, and tenya followed in after. “happy birthday!” you said pulling him into a hug. “im sweaty” he says and you shrugged waving it off and hug him.

“alright im up to my room” he said and you all watched him go up the steps, you all followed after a minute. you made it to the fifth floor and stop to see he opened his door already. he’s stood there looking at it in awe. “do you like it sho?” ochaco said as she walked up to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

he walks in further and you all follow to get his reaction. 6 gift bags lay neatly on his bed, the number 18 floats above his bed as multiple red and white balloons scatter around his room and bed. he picks up the card that comes from all of you, but written in your handwriting.

he turns around to face all of you. “you guys did this?” he says as his eyes gloss over. he looks down at the card with shaky hands. worry flashes over your face and you move to place a hand on his shoulder. “im sorry s-“ you got cut off by shoto scooping you up in his arms.

you feel tears coming from him and you stroke his hair, calming him down. “thank you” he chokes out as his grip on you goes tighter. you shush him softly as he pulls away to look at you. “aww” you say softly as you wipes his tears away.

his grip on you softens as he moves towards the others, embracing them and thanking them. “you guys didnt have to” he said wiping his tears away and calming down. “we wanted to sho” ochaco said with a soft smile. “you mean the world to us man” tenya said throwing an arm around his shoulder.

“you wanna light up the candle?” you asked as you moved to grab the small cake, rikido had baked, and held it in front of shoto. “i want to with everyone, cmon lets go” he said as he walked out of his dorm room.

the boys called everyone out and once everyone was settled in the common room, you lit the candles. you sang happy birthday to shoto and he blew them out. “thank you guys this means so much to me” he smiles at everyone and you all go in for a group hug.

VALENTINES DAY

you woke up next to hanta and looked up smiling. what ended up a tickle fight, turned into the both of you knocking out. you sit up and admire his face. “‘m youre staring babe” he mutters as he smiles. he pulls you down and hovers over you. “happy valentines day” you said leaning up to kiss him.

he kisses back and parts your legs to settle between them. you moan softly and he smirks against your mouth. he moves to kiss your neck and you tilt your head up to give him acess. his hands roam your body as yours do the same with him. “do you want to?” he asks when he lifts his head up. “duh” you said with a playful tone.

he leans over to grab a condom from his bedside table. he leaves it unopened as he continues to kiss your neck. you were already only wearing panties so you feel him growing hard and you smirked. hanta moves his knee gently to rub against your clit and you gasp at the sudden action.

“keep doing that” you sigh in pleasure as he continues his actions. he goes to remove your panties and easily slides in 2 fingers to stretch you out. he kisses you as he works on stretching you out. you turn your head to look at the condom. “hey” you get his attention as he stops and looks at you.

“yea” he says confused as he moves a strand behind your ear. “can we go at it raw? just this one time i promise” you asked cautiously and he hovers there thinking it. “i pull out right?” he says still trying to wrap his head around the question. “yea silly” you giggle and he looks down at you. “fuck yea” he says kissing you.

he continues his movements as a series of moans left your mouth. “that feel good?” he asks cockily and you moan in response. “fuck” you whine as his fingers on your clit sped up. youre about to cum when he pulls his fingers away. “hey” you whine out as he spreads your legs and aligns himself with your entrance.

“you sure about this?” he asks before he enters. “yes 1000 times yes hanta” you said and thats all he needs to hear before entering you. it feels different, a good different. you both moan together as he enters all the way. “holy shit that feels so good, you feel so good” he praises as he starts moving slowly.

you dont have the words, moans slip out of your mouth as you babble incoherently. you wrap your arms around his neck as his finger goes down to play with your clit. you arch into him and he lifts your leg holding it in place for you. this new angle hits your g-spot perfectly.

you both whine and moan together as this feels so different, but oh so good. after this you probably will never go back to condoms. he wraps his arms around you pulling you close to him. “i love you so much” he says as he kisses you ultimately failing as a moan slipped out from his lips.

“i love you more” you whine out as you feel your orgasm coming. “right there hanta dont stop” you moan out as you arch into him, playing with his hair. “im gonna cum hanta” you pant as the familiar feeling creeps up, ready to snap. “cum on my dick baby” he moans out as he speeds up his finger on your clit.

you cum just from those words alone and he helps you ride it out. his thrusts get sloppier and its then he pulls out and jerks off the rest. he cums on your stomach as he rides out his orgasm. you’re both panting as you savor each other’s presence.

“lets never use condoms again” you manage out as you look hanta in the eyes. he moves to grab his shirt off the floor and wipes your stomach off along with your cum dripping from your thighs.

“lets shower and then i got a surprise for you” he says as he gets up and picks you up, carrying you to the bathroom. “hanta!” you giggle all the way there.

taglist:

@wheezdostuff @ita606 @0bubbles0

[robinhobiii]

i love boo | boyfriend! b. sk

summery : seungkwan is your best friend but he’s also your boyfriend

Part II, Part III

“Babe, I’m telling you Girls’ Generation is better than Wonder girls!”

Gasp!

“You take that back this instant. Don’t disrespect my favorite girl group like that.” He said as he snatched the remote

“Maybe, I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t scream “I want nobody nobody but you” in the shower at 7 in the morning! ”

“Stop being jealous that I’m better at singing than you. ”

“Sure, kwannie. Keep telling yourself that.”

“Hey! I literally won the singing competition last summer!”

“Yeah against kids.”

“The age range was anyone from the ages of 13 to 18!”

“You’re 25.”

“. . . S-so, I still won. Winners succeed in life, y/n. Take notes. ”

“I’m not taking notes from a man that took a 13 year old’s thunder.”

“Shut up! I hate you sometimes!”

. . .

“Kwannie, hurry up!” Y/n whined as she continued to wait on the sofa.

“Just a minute. I’m almost done.” He replied.

“You said that 20 minutes ago.” She muttered.

“What was that buttercup?”

“Nothing, just hurry up.”

God, he was always late to everything. Y/n thought she was the one the took forever to get ready, but Seungkwan was another level. He took even longer than her.

“I’m ready, my love.” He sung out after another 10 minutes.

“Wow, you look amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful.” She said sarcastically as she finally put her shoes on and waited for Seungkwan to do the same.

“No, say it like you mean it or else I’m not wearing my shoes and we’ll be even more late.”

The audacity of this man. Let me just strangle his stup-

Sigh

“My beautiful Kwannie. You have wonderfully graced my eyes and I’ll forever be grateful to be in your ethereal presence. Now shall we get going my love bug?”

Seungkwan giggled. “Yes, of course!”

. . .

“Y/nie, I’m so cold right.” Seungkwan said as he shivered.

Y/n took his cold hands and intertwined them with her slightly warmer ones, and shoved their hands in her coat pocket.

He blushed as he said “you know, I’m supposed to that.”

“Can’t have my beautiful Kwannie freezing on me.” She said teasingly.

He rolled his eyes as his free hand reached into his pocket. “Oh no!”

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“I forgot my lip balm.” He whined out. “Now, I’m cold and have dry cracked lips.”

Y/n chuckled as she felt her lip balm in her other pocket. But it wouldn’t be fun to just give it to him. She came to a stop and Seungkwan turned to look at her. “What? Did you forget something too?” He said as he scanned her face.

She only smiled and looked straight at him. She then put her hands on his shoulders and went up on her tippie toes to place a warm kiss on his cracked lips.

“There.”

He blushed like crazy and looked at her all flushed. “W-what?”

“You said you needed lip balm, so I gave you some.” Y/n was also blushing red.

He licked his lips out of habit and tasted her strawberry lip balm.

“We should head home.” She said as she made her way away from him.

“W-wait for me. I’ll get you back when we get back home.”

. . .

“Do you think Seokmin oppa ever washes his hand?”

“Never. One time he was tasked with cutting the watermelon and Channie told me that he didn’t wash his hand when Chan asked him.”

“Eww!” She laughed. “Did you eat it?”

“Jeonghan hyung told us to wash it thoroughly and not to tell anyone else. I refrained from eating it though. ”

“Note to self, don’t eat anything if Seokmin oppa didn’t prepare in front of us.”

They both laughed. “What other stories do you want to hear about the boys?” Seungkwan said as he raked his fingers through her hair.

“Hmm, how did you and the boys meet. And no embellishments on the stories. You always over exaggerate everything.” She slightly scolded.

“Me?! Over exaggerate?! I would never!”

. . .

“One iced americano and one hot chocolate with two chocolate croissants, please.” Seungkwan said.

After they got their order, they both sat in a more secluded part of the cafe.

“You know, kwan, you have to stop drinking that vile drink. It tastes so bad.” Y/n furrowed her eyebrows.

“It’s a taste you have to get used to, sweetie. And clearly your childish taste cannot comprehend the complexity of this beautiful drink.” He said with that smug look on his face.

“Kwan, you’re eating a chocolate croissant and I’m having a hot chocolate. If anything hot chocolate has a more complex flavor than that abomination.”

His eyebrows twitched as he said “Oh, is that so?” with a slight irritated smiled.

“Y/n, one day, you’ll understand the wonderful taste that is an americano.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I know you’ll never let this go.”

“It’s cause I’m right.”

“Sure, you can continue to like your Americano and I’ll continue to like my hot chocolate.”

“You’re totally missing out.”

“I’m not missing much.”

“I’ll be waiting for the day you drink it.”

“That’ll be never. I hate the taste.”

Seungkwan smirked as he leaned forward towards her.

“You may hate the drink, but I love you and your chocolate covered lips.”

She blushed as she touched her lips and felt some chocolate smudge off.

“Y-you idiot! You should’ve told me earlier. You know how many people I smiled at when they walked passed us? I probably looked like an idiot with my face covered in chocolate” She whined as she wiped her lips with a napkin.

“Hey, at least you’re my idiot.” Seungkwan said with a lovesick smile.

“I’m going to kill you one of these days, kwan.”

. . .

“I love you.” Seungkwan said.

It was 12:03 am and all the lights were off. They were on laying his living room floor. The tv was playing songs from their shared playlist and the vibes were perfect. And so naturally Seungkwan said the big three words. She was silent for a bit.

“I like you too.”

“Hey! I said I love you!”

She smiled. “Say it properly, baby.” Seungkwan pouted.

“I did say it. I like you too.”

“Don’t be like that!!” He whined out.

“I’m going to sleep.” She said as she made her way to the bedroom.

“Y/n, say it backkkk.” He whined again as he followed her.

“Good night, kwannie.” She announced as she got comfortable on the bed.

He sighed and pouted his lips. His back was facing her and she silently giggled. She turned around so her chest was pressed against his back.

“I love you more.” She whispered finally.

[drdemonprince]

spiraling slightly about finally applying to grad school with a low gpa. I’m proud bc even getting to this point took a lot of work facing shame and I know my essay is strong but it might not even get read. I have an idea of what I’ll do if I don’t get in anywhere this first round but the whole thing is just so frustrating 😖 wish I could just pluck out the menty-b year from my transcript

Here's a little reassurance that's also very grounded in stastical reality and academic process, for what it's worth:

Depending on the graduate program, you're looking at about a 10% rate of acceptance on average. So receiving some rejections is normal -- it's typical to expect 90% of the schools you apply to to ultimately reject you. So if you get some rejection letters, know that it's not a reflection that you have failed, or that you're not graduate school material, it's a built-in part of the experience.

Additionally, *most* graduate programs have a GPA and standardized test score cut off, and all applications that fall below that cut-off are not even examined. For example, I applied to my undregrad alma mater, OSU, for graduate school, but my test scores were *one point below* the threshold they require, and so it didn't matter that I had been working for three years in two different social psychology labs for like 20 hours a week and had stellar recommendations from the school's own faculty. They didn't even look at that stuff. So, if you get some rejections, know that it's often nothing to do with your application materials at all. Yes this is fucked up. I think it's good to know that it's due to a built-in discrimination that THEY are doing, not anything you did.

Most people have to apply to multiple programs or apply multiple times over the course of a couple of years to find an acceptance at a school that is a good fit. It sounds like you have a back-up plan, which is definitely wise of you, but if you know in your heart that this is the path you want to pursue, don't let some rejections get you down on yourself. You can dust yourself off and apply again. I applied to I think 15? programs and got rejected by like 10 or 11 of them. That's par for the course.

The last thing I'll say is that graduate schools are exploitative, ableist environments that cause immense trauma to nearly every neurodivergent person who goes through them, so make sure you know what you are in for and have a really robust support system in place should you choose to pursue it.

It also *rarely* leads to any career prospects. To put it in perspective, blogging on tumblr helped my career more than 5 years of graduate study did. The blog The Professor is In by Karen Kelskey is a must read if you want a gut check for all the labor exploitation and poor preparation for the job market that happens in academia. you know your life, your values, and what excites and motivates you best, but graduate school is never an experience i proactively recommend to people.

ultimately i got very, very, very lucky as far as PhD's go, and even with that being the case in the end, graduate school still ruined my life and physical health.

[hoonieyun]

ritual chapter one: omen

ritual chapter one: omen

ʚ⁺˖↪ masterlist

warnings: mentions of death, terror, murder, horror, violence, overall 18+

word count: 3175

if there was a time to start all over, it would be now. y/n, 22 years old, lost her parents just 2 months prior to this specific moment. in a tragic car accident that led to the car flying off of a bridge and into the waters of a deep sea; y/n was the only survivor. and after being unconscious for 3 days and being under constant urgent monitoring, she was able to survive, although most times she wished she hadn’t. 

its 4am and you're packing the last of your things. a box filled with memories that hurt too much to remember. a box of old childhood photos, trinkets and things, and some of your parents well cherished items. some things you couldn’t bear to look at but could never let go. when deciding what to keep from your childhood home, you spent months trying to decide whether or not you wanted to hold onto your parents' beloved things. feeling that if you were to keep it, you’d only continue to hold onto the pain that was connected with their memories, but if you got rid of it, it would be like getting rid of those memories of your parents. 

one thing for sure, you would never get rid of the necklace your parents got you when you turned 18. after finally deciding what to keep and what to give away and donate, you were on your way to a new town. a place, thousands of miles away from your hometown, where you can start over and hopefully heal from the pain deep in her heart. 

you arrive at your new home, a quaint apartment that features 10 different units. one of which, becoming your new home. when you enter the lobby, there's an eerie atmosphere in the air. you ring the bell at the reception desk but no one answers. after a few minutes, no one arrives so you go to ring the bell once again but stop when you hear someone clear their throat behind you. you turn around and there stands an old man. skin adorned with wrinkles and freckles, his back hunched from his old age and feet dragging along the floor. “you must be y/n..” he says and you recognize his voice from the phone when you were setting up your lease for your new home. 

“yes… i am, you must be the landlord? the one i spoke to on the phone?” you ask for clarification and the old man just stares at you and groans. he turns away from you and enters a room behind the desk. his standoffish behavior throws you for a loop, a part of you somewhat starting to think this apartment may not be the best but it seems its a bit too late to back out now. when the old man returns he has 3 keys in his hand. “this key is your apartment…” he says while settling it in front of you. “mailbox and the roof.” he says while setting the other two keys adjacent to the first. “rent is due on the 4th of every month, don’t be late.” he says and you grab the keys and begin your walk to your unit. your unit was 6B and you were dreading the walk to your apartment until you realize the apartment has an elevator, sending a silent prayer, thanking god for the elevator. 

the ground floor features the lobby, the reception desk and the room in the back and a waiting area. floors 2-8 feature 2 units on each floor, each labeled by the number of the floor and either the letter A or B. the 10th floor is the rooftop, you were told it had a communal shared living space, where tenants can go and spend time. you took a mental note to check out the rooftop space at some point. earmarking it as a place where you can spend time to think when being in your home becomes a bit suffocating. 

you're taken out of your thoughts when the elevator dings, indicating that you’ve arrived on your floor. when the elevator doors open, you're facing a mirror on the wall. you get a glance of yourself, you look disheveled and get a bit self conscious when you realize this is what you looked like when speaking to… that was when you realized you never got the landlord’s name. 

you exit the elevator and look both ways, seeing that one end of the hallway was apartment 6A and the other end 6B. you make a right and head for your apartment, when you enter the key into the lock you realize that your apartment was already open. you decide to brush it off by thinking they kept the apartment open because it was vacant and had no worries of someone breaking in. thinking to yourself that you had way more to worry about than your apartment being unlocked while it was vacant. 

when you enter your new home, a slight breeze makes its way through the room, a chill wind welcoming you into your new home. you do a small tour of the place, it was a simple layout for the apartment. to the right of the entrance was the kitchen, which had the living room just across from it. you didn’t realize the apartment came with a fireplace because you hadn’t seen one in the listing and didn’t see a chimney outside when you arrived. you didn’t think much of it, but it was great to have after hearing that this part of town gets fairly cold during the winter. 

you spent the rest of your day unpacking the little you traveled with while you waited for the moving trucks to arrive. you had scheduled the movers to arrive a few hours after you arrived and they would be arriving any time soon. 

its 6PM when the movers arrive and they bring in your belongings. your once empty apartment now filled with boxes. it becomes overwhelming so you decide to save the chore for tomorrow and go to bed. you were thankful that this place offered a new bed frame and mattress. when you walked into your bedroom, a wooden bed frame was positioned into the middle of the room. atop of the bed frame was a mattress wrapped in cellophane, indicating that it was brand new. you honestly wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t new because of how exhausted you were but you were grateful to know no one else had been asleep in your new bed. you rip the plastic off the bed with the last of your energy and with a slump into the bed, you let exhaustion take over your body. 

you were so tired you forgot to lock your front door. surely, nothing bad would happen. 

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when you wake up the next morning, the sun is shining onto your face. the warmth of the sun makes you feel fuzzy and eager to start the day. you rolled out of bed with a big stretch, you hadn’t realized how tired you were until you got out of bed; your legs were sore from the travel but you weren’t going to let that stop you from unpacking your belongings. 

you skipped breakfast because you didn’t have any groceries just yet so you went straight to unpacking for the day. determined to unbox all of your belongings, you began your day at 9AM and got to work. unpacking everything was a lot easier than you expected, each space in your home only having 3 boxes each that needed to be unpacked. you opted to only keep things you absolutely needed or couldn’t bother replacing and buying a new one, so most of your items were able to be unpacked without hassle. 

its around 4PM when you’ve finished unpacking and fully organizing your new home. you notice you feel faint, having realized you hadn’t eaten all day besides a few sips of water, you decided to have groceries delivered. you plopped down on your couch and began to scroll on your phone, deciding what groceries you needed. you chose to only get a few items, enough to make you dinner and some breakfast the next day. you took a mental note to visit the local grocery market in town to familiarize yourself and to purchase more things for your kitchen. as you press order on the grocery delivery, you feel a wave of exhaustion hit you. the groceries wouldn’t be delivered for another hour so a nap wouldn’t be that bad of a decision. as you set an alarm for 1 hour and set your phone aside, you nuzzle up to the couch arm and go for a nap. 

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you wake up and its a lot darker outside. you're confused because the sun doesn’t set until later in the evening, and you couldn’t imagine that it was very late. you take a look at your phone and the clock reads 3AM, to your shock you stumble off of the couch and head to your front door to grab your groceries; trying your best not to stumble over anything as it was dark in your apartment with the only light coming from the moon shining into the living room. 

as you approach your front door and reach for the doorknob you feel a cold chill, causing the hairs on your arms and back of your neck to instantly stand up. your head whips around and you quickly scan your apartment as if there was something or someone that could’ve caused the cold air to pass through you. you turn back towards your front door and open it to quickly grab your groceries that have unfortunately been waiting out there for several hours but fortunately, no one stole it. 

as you poke your head out of your front door and grab your groceries you notice a shadow at the end of the hall. the shadow was still and you weren’t sure if the dark was just playing tricks on you. you blink a few times and the shadow is suddenly gone. you thought that the shadow was just something you imagined but when you rub your eyes the shadow returns and this time, there’s two shadowy figures. your heart starts to beat faster and worry starts to build in your chest. you quickly move back into your apartment with your groceries and lock the door. you’re trying to convince yourself that you were just seeing things but the silhouette of the two men in the darkness felt so real. although you couldn’t see their faces and couldn’t tell which direction they were facing, the longer you stared at them the feeling of their gaze piercing into you became stronger. 

you shook your head to try and rid your mind of the intrusive thoughts. you flip the lights on and make your way to the kitchen to put away your groceries. just as you set the bags on the counter a knock on your front door startles you. you stare at your front door and swallow the dryness in your throat. your breath is still shaky and you hoped that if you ignored the knock, it would just go away. after a few minutes, when you hear nothing, you shake your head and try to clear your mind by putting away your groceries. Thankfully, none of which needed to be refrigerated right away and weren’t spoiled. it was almost 4AM when you decided to freshen up after accidentally spending all day sleeping on your couch. as you grab some new clothes from your closet and make your way to your bathroom, you stop in your tracks when another knock can be heard from your front door. 

it startles you enough to make you drop what is in your hands. you slowly bend down to pick it up but another knock erupts from the door, this time it’s a lot harder than before. it causes you to jump with a small shriek leaving your lips, causing you to slap your hand over your mouth. 

you slowly make your way to the front door, careful to not make any sound and hoping the floor beneath you doesn’t creek. when you reach the door, you peek through the peephole, afraid of what you’re going to see, but to your surprise; there was nothing there. you roll your eyes and turn back around to take your shower when you hear another knock on the door. something inside you causes you to act irrationally. annoyed and tired of the knocking, you whip your body around and just open the door to confront the culprit, but once again there was no one there. 

you peek out and the hallway was empty. no one in sight, not even the shadowy figures you had seen before. when you retract back into your apartment, you notice a small book, a diary, is on your doorstep. you pick up the diary and blow the dust off of it. you were sure you hadn’t seen this diary when you first arrived. it was leather and from the damages and its appearance, you can tell it’s very old. you go back inside your apartment and decide to sit down on your bed to look through the diary. deciding to ignore your original plans to shower because your curiosity has gotten the better of you. 

when you open the diary a wave passes through your room. it was like opening the diary released something, you could feel the room get slightly colder and the hairs on your arm begin to rise. you notice a name was engraved on the bottom of the inside of the cover. 

“aliyah kim” you whispered as your thumb softly glided over the engraving. you spend the rest of the night flipping through the pages and reading her entries. it feels intrusive but a part of you couldn’t stop yourself from reading, but it did appear on your doorstep so what else were you to do. the diary had many entries, a lot were just of aliyah’s daily thoughts, her life here in the city and her adventures. at some point, about halfway through the diary, there was a break between the entries. 

the entry was of august 2021 and the one after that was february 2022. her tone of words had completely changed. it was like it wasn’t even the same person writing in the diary. her once happy and simple life she wrote about in her entries became dark. she wrote about being tormented by entities, 4 specifically. she wrote about how they vowed to break her down until she was nothing. how much she feared for her life and that every day she wasn’t sure if she was going to see the next sunrise. there were only a few entries after her entry from february 2022 and the diary suddenly stopped in april 2022. her last entry scared you the most. she only wrote one thing. 

“you may own my soul but i hold the truth.” you whispered to yourself. that was the only thing she wrote but she wrote it over and over again. there were several pages, back to back, of just the same sentence. the last page being some sort of symbol written in red ink. when you turned to the page with the symbol, a migraine strikes your head, causing you to drop the book and clutch your head. a high-pitched ringing surrounds the room and your vision starts to blur. the pain becomes unbearable and after a few minutes of the agonizing pain; sleep takes over your body once again. 

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you’re awoken by a stream of light peeking through your window blinds. the light directly settled over your eyes as if it was on purpose so that you would wake up. you rolled off your couch with a soft thud onto your carpet. strange, you thought to yourself. you could’ve sworn fell asleep on your bed last night. you reach over to grab your phone and see the time, it was 9am the next day and the first notification on your phone was from the delivery app letting you know your groceries had been delivered… yesterday at 6PM. you rushed over to your front door, brushing off the weird sense of deja vu as if this exact occurrence had happened once before. once you had grabbed and put away your groceries, thankful that it wasn’t stolen and nothing spoiled in the hours it was sitting outside, you decided to take a shower deciding what to do for the rest of the day. 

you exit your bathroom, a towel wrapped around your head to help dry your hair when you notice a familiar worn down diary sitting on your kitchen counter. a siren begins to go off in your head and in this moment you realize that this was more than deja vu. you snatched the diary from your kitchen counter and opened one of your drawers, pulling out matches. 

you threw the diary into your fireplace and without thinking, lit a match and tossed it with the diary. in a matter of seconds the leather bound book began to burn. the smoke that emitted from the book seemed to be almost black, you leaned in and after a closer look you thought you could hear whispers coming from the diary itself. like it was chanting something and luring you in, but you were taken out of your thoughts when your fire alarm goes off.

“shit!” you exclaimed, you hadn’t thought this far. not prepared, you had nothing to put out the fire. you grabbed a small pillow from your couch in a ditch effort to waft the smoke awake but to no avail. you quickly opened the windows in your living room and closed the rest of the doors in your apartment to prevent the smoke from spreading but nothing helped. the fire alarm was still blaring and the smoke only seemed to get thicker. at this point the smoke was getting so overbearing that you were choking on it, you made your way to your front door to get help but when you opened it you were met with a tall boy. 

he had striking features and a fire extinguisher in his hands. he doesn’t say anything as he enters your home and quickly unloads the extinguisher into your fireplace; stopping the fire and saving you from a potential life threatening event. 

⟡ next ⟢

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copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

[dullgecko]

Gorgugs house and room are too small because he had a massive growth spurt before freshmen year, I don't think Wilma and Digby would let that happen to their boy :(

Also I like to think sklonda would buy those burgers one pound yarn skeins off fantasy Amazon because they're like 10 bucks for a lot of the same color yarn

A two-for-one how fun.

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Gorgug doesnt mind, his house has been small since he was in middle school but suddenly got a LOT smaller over the course of a few months (he just thinks it's cosy). Wilma and Digby feel bad, but he can still get around the main parts of the house just fine and he's never complained. The ceilings in his room are pretty high, and the floor space is decent, its just the doorways that are too small now.

Once he hits junior year they spend part of the summer during the NIght Yorb quest renovating all the doorways and most of the ceilings to be higher. Some rooms they cant touch without damaging the tree though, but they do their best.

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If its anything like my mother, who crochets like a fiend, she probably gets GIVEN more wool and yarn than she could ever do anything with as soon as anyone finds out she does. People would clear out family members houses or their craft cupboards, and hand off massive bags of half-finished projects and unused balls like they were cursed.

The only problem is the quality of some of those give-aways is horrible, as in the SCRATCHIEST nastiest feeling wool you could imagine. She has to pick through these finds and carefully selects ones that will actually be comfortable to a) work with (bad yarn will give you wicket carpet burn if you're not careful) and b) be comfortable to wash and wear. You dont want to be using 'cheap' yarn because its not worth it in the end, thrifting lets you find the more expensive stuff for a lower price.

Some people might even give her money to buy wool to make things like baby blankets and shawls.

[fereldanwench]

A Personal, and Final, Reflection on A Certain Fandom

Having spent the past week and a half away from the Tumblr side of the C*b*rp*nk community after a resurgence of old wank (not hashing out the details–IYKYK), I heavily weighed the pros and cons of saying anything else. Ultimately, I decided for my own peace of mind and ability to fully move forward, I do want to say a few things (or a lot of things, given how long this is). This blog is my personal archive first and foremost, and I think writing a “final chapter” will help me find closure. I’m also choosing to publish this because, at the risk of sounding presumptuous, I think my mistakes and subsequent revelations might be good learning experiences for others, too. 

Like many of us, just by the nature of when this game was released, I entered this fandom during a very fragile, tumultuous time in my life–Well, sort of, let me back it up a little: I actually initially entered it during a great time in my life. It was July 2021, I had just enjoyed about 6 weeks off from work after quitting a demanding job that had sucked the life out of me for almost 10 years, and I had started a promising new job. I even bought the game with the first paycheck from said new job!

Unfortunately, while I had been told that this position was temp-to-hire, not only was it not a path to a permanent role, but because I completed all the work in my contract over a month sooner than they anticipated (early September vs late October), I was being let go early because they had nothing else for me to work on. I was literally told over the phone, “You did amazing work, you got us caught up through November, but we don’t have anything else for you.”

Cue about 6 months of recruiters ghosting me, exhausting interview processes, demoralizing rejections, and scam upon scam upon scam, all culminating in me returning to the job I had been so happy to leave a year earlier. And while my old coworkers were ecstatic to have me back, I couldn’t help but feel like a complete failure. I took what I thought was a calculated risk, I thought I could do something better for myself, and I couldn’t. It’s something I’m still struggling with today, honestly.

On top of this, I also experienced a debilitating physical health episode in January 2022 which led to me being effectively bedridden for about 3 weeks. [CW: Menstruation, sexual health] I’m not sure of the exact cause–maybe a bad reaction to emergency contraception, maybe unsafe menstrual underwear, but it resulted in menorrhagia so severe I fainted from blood loss. My insurance had literally just ended, another wave of COVID was hitting, and I didn’t want to risk getting infected sitting in an ER for hours only to rack up a few thousand in debt to get a blood transfusion. So rest, iron supplements, and lots of meat and spinach and orange juice was the best I could do.

All of this led to my world becoming very small. I wasn’t working, I could barely do my hobbies or see my local friends, and simple everyday tasks like showering drained me of all my energy. When I was stuck in bed and could barely keep my eyes open for more than a few hours at a time, gossip was a welcome, low-effort distraction from the physical pain and fear that I might either have to put myself in thousands of dollars of medical debt or risk lifelong damage (or worse) from the blood loss.

I also found myself having groups of friends in a way I’ve never experienced before. I’m extremely introverted (even online, though less so than IRL), I have social anxiety, and the handful of times I have been “in” a group I was never really in it. I was always on the outskirts and usually just close to one or two people, max.

Regretfully, this set the stage for me to get caught up in the culture of rumors and speculation that permeates this fandom more than I think it has any other fandom I’ve been a part of.

Academically, I know about things like groupthink and tribalism, and I could see how those influenced the groups developing in the fandom, but I had no direct, personal experience with those phenomena. I think in conjunction with the other struggles I was dealing with, I ended up being incredibly susceptible to an us-versus-them mentality, which led me to feel justified in being unkind to people I knew had been unkind to my friends, even if deep down I knew what I was doing was antithetical to who I strive to be. 

I don’t share any of this for sympathy points or to smear anyone else or to avoid accountability–I still chose to act like an ass on a couple of occasions, and regardless of what I was going through, that was still inappropriate. I’m still responsible for my own behavior no matter what’s going on. 

But I do want to contextualize my fuck-ups for two reasons:

The first reason is ego-driven, full-stop. Not even gonna gloss it over. I can’t defend being an asshole nor do I want to, but I think it’s normal and healthy to look back on your mistakes and go, damn, why the hell was I acting like this? 

Even on my best days, I can be very stubborn and self-important and pedantic and judgemental, and I certainly can’t say that I’ve never inadvertently offended someone–Sometimes a joke might not land as I hoped. Sometimes I get tangled up in my own thoughts, burdened by an excess of nuance and details, and I express things poorly while I try to account for all sides of things. Sometimes I can get a little too opinionated about blorbo stuff. Sometimes there might just be a full communication breakdown or an insurmountable personality clash–But I can also confidently say that I have acted with good intentions in this fandom far, far more than I have with spite or because of petty rivalries.

And when I did get caught up in the drama and gossip and the wank? I was literally at the lowest point I’d been in a very, very long time. 

Again, because I feel like I can’t say this enough, that doesn’t make acting like a dick in a Discord server any more excusable, that doesn’t mean I didn’t hurt anyone, and that doesn’t mean that someone I hurt during that time has to forgive me or stick around for me to grow. Hurting someone because you’re hurting is still not okay. But I’m pretty sure every single one of us has had a bad day (or two or three or 365 or–) and made an isolated bad decision (or two or three or–) because of it–None of us deserve to be wholly defined by those moments or denied a chance to learn from those mistakes and be better.

And I think the most important takeaway for me personally is that I have learned from these mistakes and I have not repeated them. Some of these mistakes even helped me realize that I needed professional support for my mental health, and they played a role in my seeking medication and therapy last year. I still have a lot of work to do, but the silver lining to all of this is that I am in a much better place today than I was 2 years ago (even if this year also fucking sucks for non-fandom reasons and I would still very much like a goddamn break.)

The other reason I wanted to share my journey of navel-gazing and healing a wounded ego ~*self-discovery*~ is I think there’s a very good chance my story might sound familiar to others in the fandom. Maybe someone else can learn from my hardships and mistakes, too. Maybe you too were dealing with chronic fatigue or mental health issues or financial stress or isolation or all of the above and then some, and it led you to fixate on things that were harmful to you, to form unhealthy relationships with equally hurt people, and to act in a way that you know doesn't reflect who you are. The past several years have been so hard on so many of us, and I think we’ve all brought a lot of pain and misery into the community even if we weren’t trying to.

A somewhat shameful realization I had last year was I could recognize that kind of behavior in other people, but I completely missed it in myself. I could see how people were making this fandom their whole world and how it was so damaging to them, but I was doing the exact same thing and I just let it go completely unchecked because I thought I knew better. It was a brutal lesson in the pitfalls of pride. 

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So I was initially thinking at this point, I would take the time to address a few specific lies, rumors, and insinuations that have been said about me over the past couple of years. Because while I was a jerk in a couple of situations, most of the things said about me are exaggerations, if not outright fabrications.

And I did start writing a lot of that out, but as I was doing it, I was just overcome with a huge feeling of OH MY GOD I just don’t fucking care anymore. As one of my dear, long-time fandom friends has pointed out, there’s a great line about just this kind of thing from one of my favorite characters in one of my favorite games: “Why should it [bother me]? They don’t know me. I know me.”

I also really don’t want to run the risk of pulling anyone back into the fray (especially if they’re not even in the fandom anymore or if we’ve talked privately about certain issues) by even alluding to shit that happened years ago.

Instead, I would like to offer three of my big takeaways from the experience of being falsely accused of awful things:

You do not know nearly as much as you think you know about people’s fandom relationships. The one semi-specific thing I will mention is that I had been explicitly named a few times as being in cahoots with people I don’t think I ever even spoke to or that I had already drifted away from–Just because you saw two people existing in the same public space doesn’t mean they’re besties, bestie. Also, friends don’t always have to agree with each other, nor should we be expected to participate in a public spectacle of shaming if we do have a disagreement. People are allowed to resolve their differences privately.  

Not all conflicts/disagreements are inherently abusive or toxic. When you are hurting or dealing with unresolved trauma or starting to confront uncomfortable truths about yourself, the slightest disagreement can feel like a personal attack, but that doesn’t mean it is. Sometimes differences might be irreconcilable, but sometimes they might not be if you don’t automatically assume the worst of someone with a different perspective than you. Sometimes we just need to give the other person a little grace and the benefit of the doubt that they’re doing their best. And sometimes we might need to consider that it’s actually our own behavior driving the conflict and not the other person.

Even in situations when someone has clearly been unfairly targeted/victimized, that doesn’t mean they can’t also be a perpetrator of harassment/abuse to someone else. Victim and abuser are not mutually exclusive roles. I would wager a lot of us are familiar with the cyclical nature of abuse, and to quote a line from one of my favorite movies (admittedly a bit of a flippant line in the context of the film, but it still rings true): hurt people hurt people. Accountability for shitty behavior is never conditional, regardless of the pain we’re experiencing. 

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I titled this my final reflection, and I want to clarify what that means:

First of all, I’m not leaving this fandom (don’t everyone clap at once ha ha ha). I’ve been in various online fandoms since the early 00s, and while this has been one of the more challenging communities for me to navigate, it’s not enough to make me give up something I love this much. My blorbos are my perpetual muses, and I feel like virtual photography is the creative outlet I’ve been searching for my entire life. I love this game and hobby too much to stop creating and sharing.

I’m also not leaving Tumblr. While I’ve had this specific account since 2016, I’ve been here since 2010–Tumblr is not just this fandom for me. I have many friends (some I’ve known since my original account in 2010!) from other fandoms, and I’m not losing the best place to hang out with other people who are special to me just because one fandom got a little unpleasant. (I mean, look, I weathered the DA fandom here circa 2012-2015–This ain’t my first rodeo.) I also have a lot of hope for the Tumblr Communities feature, and I’m really hoping the VP community we’ve set up can continue to grow and flourish.

But I am no longer addressing any of this wank. If you have a problem with something I’ve done or said to you and you want to address it with me directly (preferably in a private space just so we don’t keep putting this shit on people’s dashboards), I am open to conversation and apologizing where needed.

Otherwise, this is the last time I’m talking about it anywhere. Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, publicly, privately–I’m done. I’m washing my hands of it. I don’t want to hear anything else about what other people have done or who they’re friends with or who they’re following or what they’re saying about me or my friends or any of it. This bullshit has taken up too much of my time and energy, and I have very important smutty shots to take. 

And I am probably going to continue to be less active in the fandom on Tumblr, at least for a while. You probably won’t see me here much until September at the earliest. This time away has been really good for me, and I think I need to continue with limited Tumblring and making the time I am here more structured. Plus, with some of my other fave video game series returning this fall, my blog will probably shift back to a more well-balanced multi-fandom space. 

I’m also going to need to diversify my dash a little bit more, which means I will likely end up unfollowing some mutuals, particularly if we don’t interact often, if you don’t tag, or if I see any mention of fandom drama–It’s nothing personal, but I know breaking mutualship can hurt a little, so if following me after that makes you uncomfortable in any way, please don’t feel like you have to stick around. I totally get it. Similarly, if it would make you uncomfortable for me to continue to interact with your posts after unfollowing (because I probably will if you post in certain tags), please feel free to block me. 

Okay. Christ, that was long. Shut the fuck up already, right? This is why I can't do social media with character limits. ghdfjgjhkfdgkfdg

Seriously, though, that's it. People are welcome to comment on this post if they want, but I really have nothing else to say about any of this so please don’t be offended if I don’t reply. I’m not ignoring you, I’m just… Well, done.