#I think it's just something I rotate bc again like
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
I am thinking about this and trying to put it into words, because hm, okay, so I came to MDZS/CQL right off of my Minglan-Yanxi-Ruyi era which are predominantly female character driven plots and have large sprawling casts of very interested and diverse women (there's like, and I joke about this a lot, 2.5 men you have to regularly think about in Yanxi and they're optional, so Yanxi is TRULY like the opposite of danmei) and the "where are the women" hit me in the face like a brick. Not that like, I haven't vibed with a story that doesn't have a lot of women in it, and not bc I don't recognize that like, danmei is a genre about mlm which does cut down on the amount of spotlight time women can have, but yeah, like anon says it feels...strange that despite the cool hints we get about these female characters, fandom isn't really interested in writing them in particularly nuanced ways.
Like, I joke about wanting the period drama arranged marriage of my dreams and having to write it myself a lot, but hmmm idk, I think those would be interesting things to explore in the world of mdzs bc they clearly did happen (see the previous generation of parents or XuanLi) and I would like to explore that happening in this generation! Idk!
(Something about my thoughts on this also rotates on the axis of "despite what we know canonically about these two women, Meng-shi is so often depicted as a sexy murder lady when nothing about her canonical description says she even LIKED the idea of being sexy or murderous, and Madam Lan is so often depicted as virtuous and loving the arts and gentle and not at all murderous when one of the ONLY things we know about her is that she canonically murdered a Lan who was QHJ's teacher." where a lot of even background mentions of women in fic tends to...warp? the scant few details we get of canonical background character women.)
Actually I find very fitting how women are treated in mdzs. Mdzs's world is homophobic, classicist and misogynistic. Imo Mdzs's world represents the worst of the real world, so I find very suitable that in a patriarch/misogyny society where reputation is what matter the most, women payed the consequences of men's choices. The fact that they have no agency makes their stories even more tragic (like Greek heroines) imo. I've read historical novels from a very youth age, so I am accustomed to this. (disclaimer : that doesn't mean that I am not frustrated with the narrative or our assholes as wwx wn etc... ). What makes me very upset is how fans treat mdzs's women! Wq is not a Mean Lesbian, who is just wwx's best friend. jyl is not just wwx's mom or, even worst, a badass kickass (she is ill! She can't cultivate! Madam yu would love to have a badass daughter, but she can't! She has a chronic illness!!! ). And madam yu reminds me so much of Medea but she doesn't have the same hype. These women are trapped two times : firstly by the narrative and then by fans and I find myself less tolerant towards the latter
When I saw this ask yesterday, my gut response to the comparison between Greek tragedies and MDZS was to be like "no!! it's not the same!!" But I couldn't immediately identify why I felt that way. All the works that have given me lasting brainworms are historical tragedies with mostly-male casts and moral complexity. Everything I vibe with can be traced in some way back to getting fixated on the Trojan War, MDZS/CQL included. So what's different? I have been pondering it ever since then. So thank you, anon, for making me think!
For me, I think what it comes down to is that the issues you mentioned--the classism, the homophobia, and the misogyny--aren't actually explored within the text itself. The in-universe homophobia primarily manifests itself as people saying slurs at Wangxian. There is no external pressure to enter into heterosexual unions and have children to ensure a line of succession (3/4 of the sect leaders are unmarried after the timeskip, after all), nor is there the internal conflict of unpacking internalized homophobia. Classism is examined more with JGY's whole deal, but when the only character pointing out the flaws in the status quo is the Crimes Man, it muddles the message somewhat.
As to the misogyny... with the notable exception of QS, none of the women in MDZS die for reasons that relate to in-universe inequality. YZY, A-Qing, WQ, and JYL all die making the active choice to protect someone or something. Taken individually, all of their deaths make sense. The problems is when you take them as a whole, and you realize that the mortality rate for women in the series is off the chain. Below is a list of all the named characters who show up for more than one scene in MDZS. Bolded characters live, struck-through characters die.
Wei Wuxian Jiang Yanli Jiang Cheng Yu Ziyuan Jiang Fengmian Wen Qing Lan Wangji Granny Wen Lan Xichen Wang Lingjiao Lan Qiren Madame Jin Lan Jingyi Qin Su Lan Sizhui Luo Qingyang Wen Ning A-Qing Wen Chao Wen Ruohan Wen Zhuliu Jin Zixuan Jin Ling Jin Guangshan Jin Zixun Jin Guangyao Nie Mingjue Nie Huaisang Xue Yang Xiao Xingchen Song Lan Su Minshan Ouyang Zizhen Sect Leader Ouyang Sect Leader Yao
That's bonkers! It's even worse if you don't count the dead characters who quote-unquote "deserved it" for murdering people, which changes the list to:
Wei Wuxian Jiang Yanli Jiang Cheng Yu Ziyuan Jiang Fengmian Wen Qing Lan Wangji Granny Wen Lan Xichen Madame Jin Lan Qiren Qin Su Lan Jingyi Luo Qingyang Lan Sizhui A-Qing Wen Ning Jin Zixuan Jin Ling Nie Mingjue Nie Huaisang Xiao Xingchen Song Lan Ouyang Zizhen Sect Leader Ouyang Sect Leader Yao
Again, the women's deaths each make sense individually, but as a trend, it's fucking wild, and that's what bothers me. There's no actual honest-to-god plot reason why the ratio has to be this way. Why can't Lan Qiren be a strict auntie? Why can't the juniors be a mixed-gender group? Additionally, there's the matter of how the deaths are treated. NMJ's death is the entire reason for the book; JZX's memory is invoked as much as JYL's. It's not that bad things happen to the women, it's that they're unnecessarily killed off at a disproportionate amount.
ALL THAT SAID. ALL THAT SAID!! You're absolutely right about fan treatment. One would think that these interesting women who don't get to take center stage in canon (and thus have a lot left to explore!) would be a GOLDMINE, but instead they're sanded down like you said. It must be ROUGH trying to find fic about JYL in particular, because so much of what she's tagged in is just her being WWX's Gentle Soup Sister in the background. Wangxian is far and away the biggest pairing WQ's tag--not just for MDZS, but for The Untamed, where she's a much bigger character! I sense that you're more charitable towards the canons than I am, anon, but at least the canons are honest about what they're about and aren't patting themselves on the back for their super progressive inclusion of a Mean Lesbian Friend or whatever.
#idk where I'm going with this exactly!#I think it's just something I rotate bc again like#as anon and OP are saying we don't really examine the patriarchy in mdzs and we don't do it much in fic either#meta#it exists but this is not a story that examines the lives of women without agency#even the breaking of JYL's lifelong engagement isn't examined#how does this impact her besides making her sad? we don't think about this! but this would've been a devastating loss for her#not only bc of feelings but bc of a WHOLE FUTURE and again#dimming marital prospects#again I am thinking about how Ruyi depicts a whole cast of women without agency striving to make the best and worst of their circumstances#and centers one of the most traumatic and worse divorces in history I have ever seen#and how suffocating that was to watch.#it was a great show in that regard! that was where its focus lay#in examining that mistreatment and how that can wear down even the truest of loves and the greatest of trusts#and how the society Ruyi finds herself in does that to everyone#anyway yeah we don't get space to examine this in the text but then we also rarely examine this in fic either#and the fic part is what makes me sad
194 notes
·
View notes
Text
wrote a whole long post that didn't make sense because i'm a fic writer not a meta writer and the point comes down to this: sand and ray are both Such Bad Liars
they have honest faces. nobody, in-universe or in the audience, is ever really fooled when they pretend things are other than they are.
when sand is hurt you can tell, it's in every line of his body. ray is expressive and straightforward but hides his hurt a little better, not because he's better at lying but because the hurt hardly ever goes away.
ray can see sand freezing up and looking upset when he's called a friend or not prioritized, he can see the lie, but it doesn't matter compared to what sand's actually saying and what it'll mean if it's (not) true. he's gotten a lesson recently about pushing. and sand, i think, can see ray caring but he can't imagine it could be enough, that he could matter the most or be a priority. when ray calls sand a whore it's the only lie he told that night and sand knows it
when they hurt each other sand lies and pulls away and ray can tell, and similarly ray lies and pulls away and sand can tell, and theyre stuck in limbo because of it. awful. hate it. 10000 more just like it please
#again as always there are other layers#ray pulls back out of self-loathing (less of me will always be better for the other person) and a sort of clumsy kindness and fear#sand lies out of wounded pride and longing for something he can only get through pretending and out of self-preservation and out of fear#sand is sometimes so honest it hurts (and when he is you can see ray falling in real time)#and ray lies too now and again to try to keep people from seeing just how bad it's got#also to be clear this applies to sand's girlboss gaslight manipulation moment too#like he's better at it than regular lying because he's had time to prepare but ray still sees straight through it#just bc ray ends up telling mew anyway doesn't mean he can't see sand's ulterior motives from a mile off#this is very melodramatic of me i know but like. this is how i have to get my shit out they are rotating in my brain 24/7#i am actually also writing fic in another tab as we speak im literally overflowing constantly thinking about them#rowan chatter#re: only friends
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
In case it's hard to read/understand: "If I had a nickel for every time I had a story with a blonde girl named after a plant, who has a German father and a French mother but absolutely hates said mom, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
weird, extremely-specific tropes in my stories: pt 1
#oc liveblogging#ughhhhhhh i really CANNOT afford to be procrastinating rn but i know this happens when im extremelyyyyyy fucking stressed.#creative/art related classes always get me for this reason bc ill use 'wait but i need to find inspiration!' as an excuse to procrastinate.#fuckkkkkkkkkk. UGH IM NOT EVEN WRITING SOMETHING FROM SCRATCH ITS JUST A FINAL REVISION BUT IM CONVINCED IT SUCKS#the worst part is hkjhkjGHKJ I HAVE TO PRESENT SOME OF THIS SHIT AT AN. INTERNATIONAL FUCKING CONFERENCE GUYS. GUYSYSSSS#anyways this post is sadly not related to that. nothing im presenting is related to my ocs [un]fortunately lmao#ive just been thinking rotating various oc stories around in my head again ourgghhhh.#and i realized this LMAO. i mean maybe technically not 2 separate stories anymore because im recycling a lot from one for the other?#one of these was already established lowkey and the other was something i made for an assignment for a class like 2 years ago#i actually don't know if petunie will be blonde in her final incarnation?? ive always imagined her as silvery blonde ig but idk#if ill keep that. she doesnt have proper colors like colin but at least colin has his design set more straight somewhat.#and all the recent petunie development is lowkey really fucking funny to think abt. i girlbossed with her character development so#hard that she really replaced lucian as a protagonist HAHAJSDHKGJ. ok well not 100% kamille's story is a shoot-off#of lucian's technically? i guess? it started becoming that and now its solidified as that lowkey bc same town same place time period people#but man if im not careful i might accidentally make kamille/petunie's arc THE default one and lucian's main one the offshoot instead#a lot remains to be seen. but also yeah the other one who's story is mostly getting recycled (myrtille) actually ALSO HAD HER MOM#COME FROM THIS SAME FUCKING PLACE BASICALLY. a few decades later but still bruh given developments for lucian's story too its just like#at this point im noticing a pattern man wtf is wrong w/ women who come from this town specifically lol. 😔🥴#this town in general is just fucking cursed though i think ahkjshkg. i mean that jokingly and literally lolololl i gotta. work on it. but y#I HATE IT HERE WHY ARE WEIRD LITTLE FUCKING TOWNS WHERE BAD SHIT HAPPENS ALWAYS A CONSISTENT TROPE IN MY STORIES /silly#I DONT EVEN COME FROM A WEIRD LITTLE TOWN MY HOMETOWN IS LIKE. AVERAGE NORMALISH NOT SUPER LARGE??? IDFK?????#haaaaaaa fuck i need to finish this by the end of TODAY I S2G!!! SO I CAN MOVE ON TO ALL THE OTHER SHIT I OWE FUCKKKK
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Someone clutched at his leg. Curly hair. Freckles. Looked bloody terrified. Everyone did. Didn’t seem to have a weapon. Maybe surrendering. Leo smashed Freckles on the top of the head with the rim of his shield, gave his horse the spurs and trampled him into the mud.
This was no place for good intentions. No place for tedious subtleties or boring counter-arguments. None of his mother’s carping on patience and caution. Everything was beautifully simple. In battle, a man discovers who he truly is, and Leo was the hero he’d always dreamed of being.
— A Little Hatred by Joe Abercrombie
The Young Lion himself! On his great warhorse with his officers around him and his sword drawn. A bloody hero, like in the storybooks. Starling joined up ’cause of what that man had done at Red Hill. And beating Stour Nightfall in the Circle, and all. He’d seen the way the girls gasped when they heard the tale told and thought, Bloody hell, that’s the job for me.
#the first law#the age of madness#leo dan brock#a little hatred#the trouble with peace#the cycle of it all 😔#i also like how there's not much storybook heroism to leo's fighting style#scared kid surrendering gets 0 mercy 'no corpses no glory'#i think it also speaks to how death kinda lacks weight in leo's world#as if people don't die & the promise of glory makes up for it#it makes me think once again about his relationship with hal & how he haunts leo's narrative#and like i really don't think joe thought it through THAT much but still#leo's strongest beliefs are SO insubstantial it's canonically almost absurd#but they're literally insubstantial too - consigned to memory & myth & fiction#i have no textual evidence but i really think leo hasn't processed his father's death#or maybe he actually is empty inside and just doesn't care about other people to the point where they're like NPCs that despawn#but Something is going on with his attitude towards death#bc i feel like he SHOULD be hot-blooded enough to care deeply#but he's just so unbothered#even with ritter he has that 30 seconds where he's ready to practically give the widow the clothes off his back#and then IMMEDIATELY goes back to being cheered and applauded and he just forgets all about his dead friend#i am rotating him like a rubiks cube
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#it is 5 hrs past my bedtime and i am awake listening to Two Hearts by Dermot Kennedy on loop and crying over Rotating Shifts. again.#i couldn’t resist the urge to read the latest chapter any longer but i knew when i did i’d get like this#so Why did i wait for my period to roll around. i have made. a silly decision lmaooo#i’ve complained abt it before but i’m conflicted about how much more sensitive it makes me#my nightmares usually don’t make me cry but oh i was a Wreck this morning#so why i picked tonight to read the fic that always makes me cry is beyond me#i have never met a fic before that had me in such an intense emotional grip#and it’s fucking hilarious bc it’s not that intense of a story!! like yeah there’s been devastating parts but i’m out here having to-#-take a break every single chapter bc i’ll read one line that hits my inner child like a truck and i have to take a minute to recover#but the whiplash this fic gives me is so fucking funny and the range in the storytelling from comedy to tragedy is just.. *scream-cries*#it has my favorite characterization of Sun and Moon that i have ever seen#this chapter wasn’t even that sad i’m just Making myself sad about it#but on another level it also makes me sad in the sense that i don’t think i’ll ever be able to write something that good..#all that i want out of my writing endeavors is to make one (1) person feel as strongly and as much as RS makes me feel#and i don’t know if i can do that. i don’t know if my writing has what it takes bc i can’t even describe exactly what it is#i don’t think it’s a science that can be replicated. things either connect with someone or they don’t#the way Sun goes from worryingly innocent ‘wdym we can’t invite strangers to live with us?’ ‘wdym we can’t adopt an adult that needs help?’#to fucking. tearing an animatronic in half in a fit of protective rage and blocking access to all dating apps to prevent you from-#-finding anyone else bc he’s your Special Friend and he can’t have his Daydream falling for anyone else!! no no!!#it’s not a new concept but i eat it tf up when Sun is actually the one you should fear the most#like no i don’t think he’d hurt Reader but i dread to think of the things he would do For them#the back and forth between childlike innocence and terrifying intelligence possessiveness and physical capability is just mmmmm 100/10#and don’t even get me started on Moon. or i Will start crying again#he’s like yeah dumbass of course i’m gonna save you every time some POS man tries to **** you. of course i will you fucking crater-head#but i will complain at you about it the Entire way home and then i will steal your fucking toilet paper and pack you a raw egg for lunch#because i hate you 🖤 but Sun loves you and we would both kill for you 🖤 also i drank all of your chocolate milk 🖤 also i hate you :)#anyways i am paraphrasing obviously and dear god i hope no one who actually reads RS sees this bc i do not want my 2am ramblings taken as-#-any kind of Official Thoughtful Analysis of the story ok pls pls pls let me be insane abt my favorite fic without having to be articulate#i just have so many fucking FEELINGS about them. i am unwell.#i’m not even tagging this i’m just hitting post and going to sleep goodnight
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
what do i have to do to get Joanna Newsom fans to listen to Shabaka and his recent solo debut album Perceive Its Beauty, Acknowledge Its Grace. what do i have to sell who do i have to bribe pls brethren he is right there
#joanna newsom#ys#shabaka#shabaka hutchings#perceive its beauty acknowledge its grace#ok so. story time. first came across Shabaka while he was still in Sons of Kemet (aka before he retired from the sax for the#forseeable future) and absolutely f*cked with that sh*t. i mean F*CKED with it bc look. he's Bajan. he's cranking out some serious#Afro-Caribbean jazz during his time there the polyrhythms are f*cking on point etc etc#tucked that sh*t away in my Spotify library didn't think much of it. then i heard he was retiring from sax to focus on other instruments#and went '??????' bc yk. Shabaka. sax. kind of inseparable. he did it anyway for his mental health's sake and i'm proud of him#but then. THEN he dropped the first single off of this album on us back in February and i lost it. then he dropped the second#in March and the third in April with he and Moses Sumney i. good God just take me already nah#by the time it dropped on April 12 a day after the Sumney drop i was locked tf in. like it has been on rotation with some of my#other favorites since but anyway. only recently i realized while loading it up again that 'hey this sounds like something Joanna#would put out' and lo and behold. he says it right there that's exactly why it sounds like that brethren. pls. listen to the entire#thing for me pls. the last track called 'Song of the Motherland' features his father performing a spoken word piece and lives#inside my head rent free now. sorry. if this haunts me then it must haunt you too i don't make the rules
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
all i can hope is that this voidsent born of zodiark's aether will not be anywhere near as miserable as zodiark to fight
#i'm having flashbacks to my godawful zodiark experience#like 6 am#we wiped like five times#everyone was mad#someone hung around until i finished the cutscene just to say 'bad'#like it's my fault i died several times on a trial i've never done when everyone was dying including the healers#i think our dps was 3 bards and something else so it took forever bc bards aren't like. the biggest hitters#the healers had to stop after one wipe and talk shop to figure out their rotations#since the healer rotations for that have to be absolutely on point or else everyone dies#just a miserable miserable trial#i never ever want to see it again#we'll see how i feel when my sister finally gets there i might force myself to do it for her but#i fucking hate zodiark#anyway if this new guy is anywhere near as bad i'm going to find out where yoshi-p lives and have a stern talk with him#fel's ffxiv
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
(currently unnamed) enstars oc time!
this is self indulgent (as it should be hehe) and inspired by riko and zako doing their own ocs!
picrew link
first image is work clothes, second is casual
he/it
profile
age: 22-23
height: 172 cm
weight: 69 kg
dob: may 26th (gemini)
handedness: right-handed
hair color: verdigris
eye color: cotton candy
favorite food: pizza, most sweets
hobby: baking
speciality: has perfect pitch
image color: #39665e
some info:
- it works at cafe cinnamon part time
- it is kind of neutral about idols, not a hardcore fan but can see the appeal and likes some of the music
- he basically chose to work there bc he lives near the es
- he gets along with niki well, the two of them goof around at work and brainstorm ideas for new menu items (he mostly gives ideas for the desserts)
- usually keeps his hair in a low bun for work, but sometimes wears it in a ponytail and niki and him call each other ponytail buddies
- it isn’t a chef like niki, but works as a barista and makes the drink orders as well as preparing the desserts
- tends to quietly sing or hum to himself while working because it helps him concentrate
- at first was kind of annoyed/ intimidated by the bees who were always hanging out at the cafe (especially rinne who he found very loud), but gradually got used to their constant presence and warmed up to them
- has been roped into playing a boardgame with them once, on the condition that they don’t bet on it with real money. rinne agreed bc he has been trying to make it loosen up a bit and therefore was willing to play “baby mode” (his words) just this once to make that happen. it beat rinne’s ass but himeru ended up winning the whole game
(honestly enjoyed itself while playing and would like to do it again if only rinne stopped insisting on raising the stakes)
((i want him to somehow end up hanging out with asobi club))
- so obviously he isn’t a producer or anything like that but is still kind of aware of all the things going on from chatting with niki and overhearing the customers (although niki himself is often out of the loop so it’s mostly the latter)
- he is kind of an honorary member of sweets fanclub. the members took notice of how the dessert menu has had a larger variety and more limited items recently and started to come by more regularly on their outings. didn’t take long to figure out that niki’s new coworker was behind this, and they started to include it in their conversations about what places they recommend, etc.
- it would never say this to them but it kind of thinks of kohaku and tsukasa as little siblings
#ive been rotating some vague ideas around recently but then ended up writing this after my little vent yesterday#then i spent a lot of time looking for a picrew i liked#it is not a self insert btw but also not not a self insert#was just thinking how i couldn’t have a producer-sona bc that’s so far from me and so is being an idol#so instead it’s this!#i’ll try to think about names later. names are hard but needed#for now it’s just#oc: 🍬#enstars oc#i’m not rereading this again. if i said something stupid then that’s that#oh and i also want to decide its personal pronouns
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i do love my car it is the perfect car aside from the. imperfections and frequent problems,
#toy txt post#😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔#why is the flex pipe broken again! who is responsible.#anyway i know how this sounds but also im right. i just want a tiny little car like i have#but like for all the parts to be high quality and easy to replace. u know. but alas#after spending hours trawling past the seo listicles about 5 signs that my flex pipe is failing#looking desperately for the forums where i cannot understand anything theyre saying. it seems like#when the shop replaced the flexpipe previously they must not have used an OEM part and swapped it out for a cheaper part#and or. my engine mounts are failing? and or. exhaust hangar issue???#and the guy at the mechanic shop was like oh its like a design flaw with the cars that have flex pipes and the front wheel drive engines#that rock back and forth instead of side to side so they just wear out faster. but also it shouldnt wear out this fast. and its bc my car is#a shitty cheap little piece of shit. but also its bc something is wrong like this happens to plenty of other cars too that arent fiats#and im sure we'll look into it and shrig and get the flex pipe replaced and ill be like okay. can we replace it with a just straight pipe#that isnt flexing? no bc thatll lead to wear and tear destorying more expensive parts? ok. what about beefier mounts or more mounts to make#the engine chill out. no probably not bc it probably needs to move a little bit or else theyd find a way to make it stop moving. well okay#what if we take the engine out and fucking rotate it so that it rocks side to side instead?since all the car guys are waxing poetic about#that? no? thats not possible? i think it probably is possibly but what you mean is its not feasible or realistic and its not worth it and i#should just keep replacing this one piece or what the fuck ever.#mostly i think im just tired of how my parents treat my car now? i get it you hate it. please just accept the fact that you are going to#hate any car i have bc im not ever being the newest release of the pedestriancrusher3000 suv tank that beeps when someone is next to me#like i joke but literally it seems like all they want is for me to get a different bigger car. i dont want or need a bigger car.#we have been having this argument since i started learning to drive. no one who taught me to drive understands that bigger car=more anxious#cos im anxious about Different Things than they are. maybe i could have slightly better Visibility but at least i can see over my fucking#hood#anyway. i do wish i could get my exact car but with like higher quality materials/construction and like. as a plug in hybrid instead#electric sounds nice in theory but i dont think its for me just yet?#ive seen new electric fiats (which they arent selling here btw) (fuck you if you want a small new car lol)#car companies be like america? oh those fuckers only want the largest tanks we can legally allow on the road. and then the 3 of us american#folk that do actually want small cars are like hey uh. how do i get a small one. i know yall make them. ive seen it#and the companies are like oh we dont sell them to you. you only like big cars
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
wait okay I know nobody asked but this is it!! This is what makes anything- this is why Egyptian parents king dead professed their love for their soccer loving daughter (they customized a boys coffin to show her prowess on the field!) this sentiment of “I CHOOSE to love you” in every name and initial carved into trees and spray painted on walls, “ON PURPOSE I love you” is how we find ourselves again and again in stories of love and adventure and dragons and potions and fancy balls, it’s the foundation of every family, of every friend group, it is the work of grass-root organizing and protests with bricks and home made shields, ON PURPOSE we find ourselves in new dresses and shirts and trans our genders and propose and save up for fancy little dates or home made dinners, I CHOOSE because the alternative is apathy and exhaustion and That is the goal of every union-busting capitalist millionaire with children he can’t remember the names of.
Humanity, throughout all of time, in any language, anywhere in the world, is about the Choice of caring, and trying, and failing usually, and of loving.
i love you on purpose i love you ON PURPOSE
#humanity#I have written better shit but like. I am constantly rotating the ever-present choice of love that is demonstrated again and again in#a million different ways every day and with every archeological discovery that hits the news.#soccer girl from Egypt circles my dash every once in a while and it always fills me with this intense empathy for her parents and how proud#they were of her and how much they must’ve ached at her loss also and yet. all we know of her is that she was Loved#and something so important too in relationships (I’m in my first one rn for context) is just. That.#Oh You Choose Me. you Chose me. every day. even when I’m hungry and irritable. even when I’m too poor to afford groceries.#even when I Fuck up or hurt them they still. Choose Me. on Purpose#and I choose them!!!#on purpose!!!#even when they are spiraling or tunnel visioning or when they don’t understand me or why i act the way I do or do the things I do#I choose them! and that’s so scary!!!#and so EXCITINGGG TOO LIKE!!#I AM MORE WITH OTHERS THAN INWILL EVER BE ON MY OWN BC I WAS MADE TO LOVE!!!#GENUINELY!!!#and!! I think it’s the job of every human to love?#I think the instant you stop loving you die . in the only way that matters#Egyptian girl still lives on. I hope she’s playing soccer (and winning) wherever she is in time or space#also sorry for the long addition to a short post
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
there is a god and he is cruel
#the bin#sorry sorry im having existential dread and terror. literally i dont think ive ever felt worse then i do over the fact im gonna have to wor#some stupid job so often that contributes nothing and get paid so little and be in pain the whole time and have so little time for fun#inat least wnat something that pays a bit better and feels like im actually doing something#tnis whole go to work and cycle through this same loop of donated items and then watch so many of them get tossed is killing me#my job feels so meaningless because it is. i dont know how to describe why. i think a job at a grocery store doing stocking would feel at#different. this type of production work is just so draining mentally. its not samey enough to just be ignorable. it sucks#i go to work and sort through stuff and then put it on the shelves and then everything gets all messed up and fixed and messed up again#and it repeats and its not the same as if it were boxed. because at least that would feel just like whatever yknow. its this horrible#capitalist system disgused as something small and friendly. ive always felt this way about big chain thrift stores and now that i work at#one that feeling is so much stronger. '#'you love to thrift so why not work at thrift?' because it will crush your soul#sorry. i would rather like work at a store stocking a regular rotation of things and itd feel like corprate capitalism yattah yattah but#not pretending to be soemthing else. my coworkers are so nice but i hate this job#my managers are fine but theyre pushing more of tnis produce produce produce thing bc they have to and i dislike it a lot#like man i AM doing my best and its fast enough and its not even being said directly to me just everyone but it feels bad like they want#me doing this exact process for a job whee the things change. its not a bunch of same shape packeged blah blah its just an array of objects#a really boring array of objects that are all the same but also not the same enough to be easier#and you want to to act like its all packeged and stuff??#ugh i hate it. i think this is why i like hanging bags so much cause its a simple sorting pricess and simple to put them up
0 notes
Text
summary: [ cs55, cl16, mv1, lh44, fa14, sv5, dr3, mwebber, jb22 x fem!reader ] three major kinks + a couple minor kinks for each driver
word count: 1.8k
content warnings: smut under the cut (minors dni pls!), pwp; i'm not going to tag all of these bc that would take 5ever BUT 1) everything is consensual & in the setting of a happy, healthy relationship & 2) dm me if you are needing any specific tw's/cw's & i'll be happy to share those!
a/n: it's been a hot, hot minute since i've had the energy to write (i was busy surviving my surgery core rotation at a level 1 trauma center & pediatrics at a major children's hospital), but i've been brewing up a lil something for awhile now! i was stalling out on writing the last part of corsica, so i figured i'd at least give you this to get the juices flowing again! i started this blog about six months ago, & i'm nearly at 500 followers & i wanted to take a moment to thank you all! i love you so much and i hope you enjoy this! these are the kinks i think each of these drivers has! what proof do i have, you ask? absolute fuck-all! enjoy, loves! xx
creampie + breeding kink — he’s a family man & lord knows how badly he wants his own. he’s possessive, too, & this sates both of those desires well for him. he’s always whispering something in your ear, hand low on your belly about how good you’d look carrying his babies. and once you’re actually pregnant? sweet jesus, he’s never taking his hands off of you.
shower sex — he’s talked a number of times about how he’ll shower multiple times a day, and something tells me he’d never object to a partner. more than once he’s had you against the tiled walls until the water ran cold and your teeth were chattering. he’d then proceed to take it upon himself to warm you up again, ever the gentleman.
post-workout sex — there’s something about the way you look, out of breath & drenched in sweat that sends all the blood in his body rushing to his cock. you’re trying to push him away, afraid that you’re just too gross, but this man does not give a single fuck. he adores you in all your sweaty, sticky glory & is on you the second you make it back from your class, peeling you out of your leggings and wrangling your too-tight sports bra over your head. and it goes the other way as well: his favorite workout cooldown is fucking you senseless; there’s something deeply primal about the exertion of a workout that clouds his head with only thoughts of you, out of breath & on the brink of orgasm.
minor kinks | hair pulling — rough sex — cockwarming — pussy worship — possessiveness — soft dom — teasing — dirty talk
praise kink — he’s a talker in bed, and that means that he’s telling you just how delicious the tight clutch of your velvet walls feels around his cock. one language is not enough to tell you all the ways you make him feel, how good you are, how badly he’s wanted you. it certainly doesn’t hurt when you reciprocate, but the sounds he’s able to work out of you are often enough for him.
vanilla sex — listen: it’s no secret that this man is a romantic, and there are few things as romantic as good ole vanilla sex. sure, some spice is nice every once in a while, but he doesn’t need it to get his rocks off. he’s too caught up in the romance of it all—the tangle of limbs, skin pressed against skin, stuttering breaths, and stammering hearts—to want anything else. all he needs is you.
kissing — similar as above, charles is a sucker for romance, and a good makeout sess is just the right thing to get him hot and bothered. he’s very talented with languages, and his mastery of his tongue doesn’t end with words. *wink wink*
minor kinks | oral sex (giving + receiving) — creampie — cowgirl — bathtub sex — breathplay
mutually drunk sex — no matter how much he loves a club scene, he’d always find himself back in your arms. happy, sloppy, messy sex. as much as he loves a g&t, he loves the taste of you more.
wax play — we’ve seen the clips. he likes dripping the wax just as much as he likes being dripped on, and every time you go to light a candle his eyes get that hungry look like he could devour you whole; you’ve learned how to use this to your advantage.
dirty talk + praise kink — as we all know, this man is a certified YAPPER. and, unsurprisingly, that extends to the bedroom, too. always groaning, grunting, whispering sweet nothings in your ears, there’s very little that leaves him truly speechless; you’ll always know exactly how he feels when you're riding his cock or taking him deep in your throat, whether that’s in dutch, english, or the french he’s been trying to practice. and, given his upbringing, he lives for the praises that fall past your lips; he aims to please, and your sweet words are all the motivation he needs.
minor kinks | restraints (giving + receiving) — spanking — threesomes — nipple play — sensory play
massage — he takes great pride in his physique, and he thinks every inch of you is perfect. he loves watching all the tension leave your body. with such limited time in his busy, busy life, he thrives on the time he gets to spend with you; few things can compete with the peace, intimacy, and pleasure that comes from the feeling of your hands working over the tight muscles of his back and legs. and if they happen to wander somewhere else? well, what a happy accident that would be!
fingering — if there’s one thing lewis knows, it’s that a man’s most important tool isn’t the one between his legs. he loves all the ways in which you unravel for him, your back pressed against his chest with your legs draped over his own to keep them open. he’ll play with you like that for hours if he could, unlacing your composure until you're boneless and melting into him with every touch. (also, dear god, have you seen his hands? female gaze bait of the highest form.)
the lingerie stays on — there’s a litany of pick-up lines about clothes, etc. looking good on you but better on their floor, and a one mr. hamilton disagrees with that sentiment; we know well how he appreciates fine garments, and he loves them even more when you’re wearing them. he’s most certainly one to spoil his partner, and if he’s going to buy you that agent provocateur set, you can bet he wants to see you in it.
minor kinks | soft dom — cowgirl — voyeurism — intimacy — dirty talk — shower sex — pillowtalk
face riding — why do you think he takes so much pride in his neck strength? and even when you’re squirming away from overstimulation, he’s more than able to hold you in place by hooking his toned biceps over your shaking thighs. he’s a menace, but he never leaves a partner wanting for more.
wearing his clothes — okay, this one isn’t original in the slightest because i simply cannot get this blurb by @folkloresthings out of my head. nando would keel over at the sight of you in his clothes, especially if there was a particular lack of certain undergarments. he’d pull you in by the excess material and have you right there if feasible.
anal sex — all the nando fuckers know that he’s a little freaky—can i get an amen? that being said, his experience goes a long way in helping his partner get the most out of it and making it a pleasurable experience for all parties. he’d take his time working you open, pairing it with leg-shaking orgasms to wash away any doubts in your mind. it’s a new sensation, but a welcome one at that.
minor kinks | swallowing / facials — teasing — spanking — rough sex — sloppy sex — aftercare
teasing — a tyrant on the track and one in the bedroom as well. or in the car. or at a dinner with a few too many pairs of eyes. regardless, being a tease is his favorite above all else despite his own inability to handle a healthy dose of his own medicine.
overstimulation — this more or less goes hand-in-hand with his teasing, but he loves the way you beg when you’re coming down from one high and coasting right into another. “just one more, liebling” or “you’ve got another one, don’t you, schatz?” or “i know you can take it, kleiner hase” before making your vision go white as he wrings another orgasm from you.
morning sex — but, above all else, sebastian is a lover, and few things are quite as intimate as slow, fumbling, half-awake morning sex where you’re mumbling praises and communicating in soft, hushed sounds of pleasure. chasing sensations and desires before your mind is even fully awake takes a strong, trusting bond, and he prides himself on this with his partner.
minor kinks | cockwarming — spanking — mutual masturbation — toys — soft restraints (giving + receiving) — creampie / breeding — praise kink — dirty talk
cowgirl — this man & his obsession w/ texas—need i say more? how does that saying go, again? “save a horse…”
photos/sextape — daniel3.jpg would like a word. he’s obsessed with this new medium, and what’s a better way to remember a spicy moment than on film? plus, when you’re traveling 200-plus days a year, you need a way to bring a piece of home with you however you can, whether that’s watching you fall apart while arching your back as he grips your shoulder tight or taking him into the back of your throat as you look up at him through damp lashes or riding his cock or or arching your back as he grips your shoulder tight…you get the picture.
threesomes — considering the way that everyone fawns over him on the grid, this man could so easily work himself into some surprising pairings. his love language is physical touch and he’s not afraid to share it. that, combined with his competitiveness and desire to please, turns into a dangerous desire for him to see you fucked out and overwhelmed by your own need for more.
minor kinks | mirror sex — dirty talk — thigh riding — facefucking — rough sex — hair pulling
rough sex — aussie grit. there’s nothing else i need to say other than he’s a wild ride.
aftercare — any rough lover worth their prowess, though, knows the importance of aftercare, and mark is no different in that regard. he takes it very seriously and is always checking in afterward to make sure you enjoyed yourself as much as he did, peppering you in sweet kisses and warm embraces.
pussy worship — we’ve all seen the clip, right? this man knows how to eat pussy and he’s damn good at it. better yet—he loves doing it. you’d practically have to pry him off you from the overstimulation, his tongue, lips, and teeth finding alllll the right ways to make you fall apart.
minor kinks | cockwarming — spanking — possessiveness — massage — swallowing / facials
exhibitionism + voyeurism — the grid slag. he’s confident about his body and his abilities, and he’s not afraid to share. he’s not overly possessive and an unabashed hedonist to boot, so this pairing works perfectly to get his rocks off (and hopefully yours, too). he’s a little freak, and he’s not afraid to let it show!
spanking — when you’re especially mouthy (frequently to get these exact reactions) and he’s a little bold, jenson is partial to taking you over his knee and seeing how long you can keep up the act before you’re a whimpering mess. frequently this ends with him literally kissing your ass, two fingers buried knuckle deep in your dripping cunt while another toys with your too-sensitive clit.
brattiness — again, like above, he loves when you backtalk or drag your heels on him, making him work for your pleasure and, on some nights, your submission. (though, he’s not afraid to admit how fucking hot he finds it when you take control, using him for your pleasure and taking what you need. all that matters to him is raw, messy, dirty fun.)
minor kinks | threesomes — begging — degradation kink (giving + receiving) — nipple play — oral sex (giving + receiving) — toys
final note: that's all, folks! now what do you think? let me know! 🤍 as always, you can follow my writing sideblog @velvetsainz-writes where i reblog inspo & recs!
#f1 smut#formula one smut#formula 1 smut#f1 driver smut#charles leclerc x reader#cl16 x reader#cl16 smut#carlos sainz x reader#cs55 x reader#cs55 smut#fa14 x reader#lh44 x reader#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#dr3 x reader#sv5 x reader#jb22 x reader#jenson button x reader#fernando alonso x reader#fa14 smut#lewis hamilton x reader#lh44 smut#max verstappen x reader#mv33 smut#mv1 smut#daniel ricciardo x reader#dr3 smut#danny ric x reader#sebastian vettel x reader#sv5 smut
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutout to this bitch for single handedly saving the name hifumi
#screenshot is from my game bc for some reason the google results are even worse LMAO#but yeah the only hifumi i knew was the one from dr so i hated that name#finally someone else to associate the name with 😭#he looks like adult fugo lol 💖#i honestly dont understand anything abt this IP i just started playing the game#and its obv entirely in japanese so i dont understand what anything says hdkfjshdjf#i have four SSRs already excluding the starter and i dont even know if its good bc i cant read the rates ⚰️#one of them was a rate up card and one was the event card but again i have no idea#if theyre just easy to obtain anyway and the hard part is something else#the starter ssr i rolled first try was gentaro and i like took that and ran bc 1. he was actually#my 3rd fave of the characters id seen so far based on first impression and 2. rerolling seems like a pain#bc you cant choose a group to reroll in first in this one#can you guess who my fave is 🙂 actually i dont think its AS predictable this time as it could be#THIS GAME IS RLLY HARD. the notes that rotate the other notes mess me up so bad#ive only tried expert on one song bc its my fave and it actually went well but still#ive only been able to get two full combos on hard mode so yeah i think i still have to practice#i wish someone could tell me how the gacha workssssss i was just using my pulls bc i wanted cards#and i actually got those SSRs but i want one for my fave obv and i saw on the wiki that he has a bunch#but idk how to obtain any of them.....#there are no guides on yt T.T for ANYTHING abt the game so im truly on my own on this#anyway im onto trying to figure out if how this game has supposedly enough songs#for someone to make a top60 list with but i feel like i can only choose from like 10 different ones in game
1 note
·
View note
Text
I’m actually nervous for my GP appointment tomorrow, because maybe I’m jumping the gun a bit here and just overthinking, but I suspect he’s going to say that the only way to save my knees and stop them from hurting too when I have a hip bursitis flare up and can’t walk normally, is going to be to use a cane to support myself. And I know it’s silly, and I also know it’s pretty much inevitable because I have so many chronic pain issues in my lower body now, but I just... don’t want to be at that point yet.
Also, I’ve just been pushing through the pain at work, but if I have to use a cane when I’m having flare ups, I’m not going to be able to do my job properly, because I need both hands. I can potentially modify some stuff, but I definitely won’t be able to work nearly as quickly as I need to.
#also idk how i'm going to explain to people that dancing actually helps the hip pain most of the time#but walking is a nightmare#bc it's dance that has caused the problems#my hips naturally want to rotate outwards and become inflamed when they can't be rotated outwards because I'm just walking#if i'm in pain i'll sleep on my back with my legs flat against the bed but bent with my knees pointing outwards#bc that rotates my hips out and it's comfy and doesn't hurt#oh and my shoulder is playing up again and i'm pretty sure that's bursitis too but i'm hoping i can just get a brace for it or something#bc i think it's the fact that it's double jointed is the problem because i can sometimes feel it slipping out of place slightly#like out of the socket just a tad#which in itself is painless but i'm sure it's probably aggravating it#my mum used to tell me off for popping my shoulders out when i was a kid bc i'd cause damage even if it didn't hurt#this is probably her being right years later#anyway yeah yay for talking more in the tags#bleh#personal#vent
0 notes
Text
astro observations about my partner’s placements
from a virgo sun’s perspective
sagittarius sun
never runs out of energy - these people wake up on ready. endless banter and wit; one of the reasons i fell in love w/ him was his mind.. i think bc sag is ruled by the 9th house their minds know no bounds, they are continually expansive. on the same note, they love to experience everything there is and especially w/ those they love. i’ve always said the quickest way to point out a sag is if they say “i don’t give a fuck” but also remember sagittarians often have solid morals/ values. there are some things they believe in and will not bend on them for anyone or anything. also such adaptable people! they don’t like to be restricted so i think it helps that they are able to just do what they need to for the moment. can be a bit reckless or clumsy, they probably have to buy a new phone all the time 😭
libra moon
(maybe my favorite moon sign 🙈) such charismatic people!! doesn’t matter the sun sign, they could charm anyone. also very adaptable bc they read the room so well. love to make the room lighter but this can be good and bad. as i’ve said in previous posts, libra in any placement will create a need for balance. so libra moons often cannot handle tension especially from the ones they care about. if you’re feeling down a libra moon will do everything they can to make you smile but if they fail, you can almost feel them move on bc they can’t handle the static. (this isn’t bc they don’t care! air signs just prefer to keep things light) also great conversationalists and very funny, their humor is for everyone.
scorpio mercury
as i’ve said in previous posts, the only ones who understand a scorpio’s depth is scorpio. scorpio mercury’s depth is much like the depth of the ocean. you will never know what they’re thinking unless they want you to. this placement (much like scorpio moon) will always decide on the best time to say something; if you’re looking to pull something out of them they will make you work for it. also very stern, in the sense that you cannot make them waver on something they’re already sure about. bc of how deep they think/ understand, they are also great conversationalists (totally part of my dream blunt rotation cause you’ll never run out of things to talk about) you’ll also never have to explain the principle of a situation to them; if you give them background w/ enough details, they already get it. also sometimes prone to overthinking esp if it’s in 12th or 8th house!
libra mars
always does their best to make sure everyone is content (again balance), very diplomatic in relationships - including romantic. will often overlook their own feelings if they feel it will disrupt the flow of things. sometimes only speak up in moments of injustice or they just feel like something’s unfair in general. pretty reasonable ppl cause they look at both sides of everything. when they are ready to check someone it’s brutal 😭 their anger is palpable when released because they hold it in most of the time. in bed they are likely to favor the doggy position (as libra rules that part of the body) and will likely slap their partner’s ass a lot 💀
capricorn venus
a true romantic! they are strict on their boundaries and will never settle (especially the more developed they are). they might stay in a relationship (platonic, romantic or otherwise) if it doesn’t serve them, but not for long. even when they do this they will not be all in because they know there will be a moment when they need to fall back completely and when it does they do so immediately, w/out remorse. when they are in love however, they are devoted because (in true Saturn fashion) in their eyes they are investing into their future. such romantics when they find the one! i mean like true lovers. they want you to meet their families, plan your future (always realistically), plan out elaborate dates, may even buy stuff they want you to wear. these natives are definitely the types give you those “be ready at 8pm, wear this” notes. also likely to wear the pants 😭 and definitely dominant in bed (likely into bdsm as well, esp if masc).
sativaonsaturn 🪐🍃
#astrology#moon#venus#scorpio#capricorn venus#scorpio mercury#libra moon#libra mercury#sagittarius#libra#capricorn#sagittarius sun#astrology observations#love astrology#astro notes#astro community#astroblr#astro observations#libra mars
226 notes
·
View notes