#I think it's just some kind of unconscious way of avoiding meaningful bonds

[soft-crimson]

I'm tired of carrying this stone by myself

[herinsectreflection]

Faith, Buffy, Dreams, and Secret Kisses

This is one of my favourite scenes in the series. Partially because it’s just my personal jam - I admit that I am Fuffy trash, and I have a real love for dream sequences. Buffy had great dream sequences, but this is where they take a step up. It’s a precursor to Restless in this regard and others. It feels weighty and meaningful, but also a little off and incongruent with itself, in that way that only dreams are. Lines are exchanged that don’t quite follow as direct responses to each other, clashing in interesting ways. It’s packed with foreshadowing, metaphor, and other juicy things. And beyond that, it’s a conclusion to Buffy’s entire arc this season about dealing with her shadow self, and it leads to what I think is the single most romantic moment in the series. I want to talk about this scene and unpack some of what I think it’s saying.

First of all, let’s talk about the setting. We’re in Faith’s apartment, bought for her by the Mayor. Essentially, the villain’s lair, where the two Big Bads plotted their evil plans against our hero. But it’s also a set where we saw most of the bonding and semi-familial love between Faith and the Mayor. A place of both evil and love. And for Buffy, a place of trauma. This is where she makes the decision and takes the action to kill another human. I don’t think she was unjustified in doing so, but it’s still an immensely traumatic act for her, and I think she loses a little part of herself when she does it. The location is very much a reflection of Faith, and Buffy’s relationship to her. I don’t think Buffy loves Faith romantically at this point, but I think she cares about her, and remains concerned about her, and I think it’s fair to call that a kind of love. Faith is also evil, a figure of betrayal but also temptation to the “dark side”. And she is also a figure of trauma, clear deep-seated trauma that she fails to resolve, and just gets worse over the course of the season. Buffy is essentially inside her own relationship to Faith, inside a stadium of sin, trauma, love, and shattered glass. Faith looks out of the broken window that they fought through, and we are reminded that their relationship too is broken, unrepaired, littered with the detritus of conflict. There’s no going back from this - even in dreams that window remains broken, and their relationship will always have this damage.

The props too are an interesting choice. TPN’s video on Graduation Day pointed out the painting of a giant snake with a man’s head on the wall. More conflicting feelings here - the Mayor is Faith’s closest connection to humanity and love right now, and also the reason for her betrayal of Buffy. Her redemption and damnation. We also see boxes of various things piled up - including the crossbow that Faith stole in Bad Girls. The image of packing up a room into boxes makes me think of moving away as a student. We must remember that Buffy is graduating today, on the verge of packing her life away and taking it somewhere else, and this reminds us of that.

The first thing of real substance we see is the cat, which jumps up on Faith’s bed. This is one of the aspects of this dream in direct conversation with Restless, where a cat symbolises the Slayer - a specifically feminine, solitary predator that stalks the night. In Restless, we cut to Miss Kitty stalking the camera from shots of the First slayer stalking Willow. Here though, the intercut images are between the cat and Faith, lying bruised and helpless in a hospital. The cat (and the Slayer) is, as far as Buffy is concerned, not a danger but a creature in need of help.

Buffy: "Who's going to look after him?" Faith: "It's a she. And aren't these things supposed to take care of themselves?"

They’re very clearly talking about their respective approaches to slaying, and to life in general. Buffy tries to encourage ties to humanity, telling Faith back in Revelations that she is on Faith’s side. Faith retorts that she alone is on her side, and she repeats that sentiment here. But Buffy is obviously proved right - Faith is lying almost dead because she rejected all help and care.

Buffy: "A higher power guiding us?" Faith: "I'm pretty sure that's not what I meant."

If the cat is the Slayer in this conversation, then the “higher power guiding us” could refer to the Watchers. It makes sense that Buffy delivers this line with a little wry smile, given that she’s just resigned herself from the Council. This allows a little bit of ambiguity in their debate - Buffy has taken on a little bit of Faith’s advice in emancipating herself and so making herself as the Slayer more self-reliant. The show agrees that that too is the right move. A little independence is good and healthy. What Faith means when she talks about “taking care of herself” is not self-reliance or independence, but emotional hardness and self-marooning to avoid hurt. This is something that Buffy will continue to struggle with for the rest of the series. Faith is kind of right when she states that the Slayer is alone and must take care of herself, and it’s up to Buffy to find a healthy way of dealing with that.

"Oh yeah. Miles to go - Little Miss Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.”

The scene shifts a little, and we get some foreshadowing for Dawn (Little Miss Muffet), and for Buffy’s death (730 days from now). This is done with the the lighting too, as Faith faces the camera, and the light of the dawn hits her face, in a shot extremely similar to the end of The Gift.

Interestingly, Faith is repeatedly used in this way. In This Year’s Girl, Faith talks about “little sis coming” as she and Buffy make the bed in her first dream. In Restless, that scene gets a callback (”Faith and I just made that bed”), in a scene that ends with the most anvilicious foreshadowing (”Be back before dawn”), as well as a callback to the 7-3-0 line (”Oh, that clock’s all wrong”). In Graduation Day, Faith refers to Buffy as being “dressed up in big sister’s clothes”, however to me Faith has always felt more as being the “little sister” in this relationship. She looks up to Buffy yet is also deeply jealous of her. She wants to be Buffy, to have her friends, her life, the love of her mother. She’s kind of a precursor to Dawn in this respect, so it makes sense that she’s a prophet for her coming.

Slayers having prophetic dreams is well-established, so it makes sense that a dream shared by two slayers would allow them to prophesise a little further ahead in time. Faith hints at this, remarking "Sorry, it's my head. A lot of new stuff.". You have to wonder what other “new stuff” Faith is becoming aware of. Perhaps a new perspective on everything Buffy’s been saying all season. Sharing a mind temporarily is often helpful in seeing another’s point of view. Faith does seem unusually thoughtful as she looks out of the broken window and remarks "They are never going to fix this, are they?".

This is perhaps my favourite line in the scene. It’s a slight mislead, as it comes right as we get a flash of the cat-as-Faith in the foreground. So we assume it’s a reference to her own injuries, which she is expected to never recover from.

But the Faith that’s talking isn’t looking at her own body. She’s looking at the broken window. The symbol for her broken relationship with Buffy. She has become us, the audience, looking at Buffy and Faith and saying “boy, those crazy kids really are never going to work it out, are they?”. It’s true for Faith, it’s true for Faith&Buffy, and it’s true for Buffy herself. When that knife entered Faith’s gut, all three were irrevocably changed forever. You can never put back the life you had before after it’s broken like that. All you can do is take what you can work with, and try to make something new.

Buffy: "What about you?" Faith: "Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades." Buffy confirms that the previous line was not about Faith specifically by asking “what about you”, in a lovely expression of concern. After everything, Buffy does still care about Faith. Faith’s reply of “scar tissue” is an obvious reference to the literal wound she is now carrying (emphasised by the shot of the knife that Buffy sees afterwards), but it’s interesting that she gestures to her face when she says this. It feels like a reference to her entire self. If we accept Faith as Buffy’s shadow self, then “scar tissue” is an accurate description of her. As Buffy herself says, Faith is who she could be if her life was worse (or, perhaps, who she would be if she allowed the tragedies of her life to rule her). She is the part of Buffy’s unconscious self that is revealed after receiving violence. She is the physical proof of trauma. The self that remains after pain. 

Buffy: “Is this your mind or mine?” Again, hitting that note of symbiosis; emphasising how inextricably tied these two characters are. The lines between their psyches are blurred to the point of no longer existing. This is such an intimate moment, almost sexual, with Buffy and Faith unable to tell where their own mind ends and another begins. Imagine the intimacy of that - entering another’s mental space and allowing them into yours, so wholly that they become one and the same. It becomes a mutual recognition of unity and shared pain, and an affirmation of the eternal divisions between them.

I love the ambiguity of the “human weakness” line too. One way we are invited to read it is that Faith is doing a heel-face turn, and intentionally giving Buffy the means to defeat the Mayor. But we’re not allowed anything that easy, to wash away Faith’s sins with a quick redemption before the climax. Faith has miles to go before she can achieve that. It’s just as likely that Faith is talking about herself, and the human weakness that led her down a dark path, or that Buffy is talking about Faith through the Faith in her head, or Buffy is just working it out on her own, etc, etc. This is the information that saves the world, and I like that it remains an unknown. A permanent “maybe”, just as Buffy and Faith’s relationship is. 

Buffy: "How are you going to fit all this stuff?" Faith: "Not gonna. It's yours." Buffy: "I can't use all of this!" Faith: "Just take what you need. You're ready?"

As the scene reaches its climax, we see the most obvious recitation of the season’s themes. S3 is about Buffy coming into conflict with her own shadow self, and here the show tells us how she does that - by taking what she needs. I mentioned earlier that we saw the crossbow from Bad Girls, from the “want/take/have” scene. Here, Faith is telling her the same thing, but in a more healthy way. She cannot just hedonistically consume everything like a crazed id-monster, but she also cannot deny herself things that she needs. 

Most importantly, the “stuff” they are referring to is Faith’s, but as Faith says, it’s also Buffy’s. Everything that Faith is, Buffy is too, because she is her shadow self. Buffy must recognise this, accept it, and incorporate the shadow self into her own identity. She cannot be consumed by the shadow self and simply become Faith, allowing her shadow to consume her conscious personality (”how are you going to fit all this stuff?”). Instead she must recognise her dark mirror, and take the healthy parts, and integrate them into herself as an individual (”take what you need”).

It is at this point of healing and merging between Buffy’s self and shadow self that Faith reaches out, almost touches her in an action that feels so tender, and Buffy becomes conscious. She literally becomes her conscious self by making peace with her dream (unconscious self). She stands up, and walks over to Faith’s bed. This is the moment that their relationship all season has been leading to. She leans over, and places a kiss on her forehead.

This kiss is everything. It’s an act of thanks, as Buffy realises Faith may have given her what she needs to save the day (at the cost of Faith’s one familial figure). It is an act of service, as Buffy literally gives Faith the kiss she asked for when they started to fight in Graduation Day. It could also be an act of forgiveness. We know from I Only Have Eyes For You that forgiveness, Buffy learns, is done not because somebody deserves it, but because they need it. Faith at this point probably does not deserve it, does not want forgiveness (she wants to be punished), nor can she recognise it in her current state, but Buffy gives it anyway, adding another layer of heartbreak. It is given not for any purpose, but for its own sake.

Above all though, this is an act of recognition. We must consider the previous forehead-kiss that these two shared, back in Enemies, and Faith’s words directly before: “What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that, yet.” And in Graduation Day, just after Buffy stabs her: “You did it. You killed me.” And her words in the dream, just a few seconds ago: “You're ready?"

Now I don’t think that Buffy stabbing Faith to save Angel is morally equivalent to Faith voluntarily killing people to help an evil guy become a big snake. I don’t think the show wants us to think that either. But the line is firmly blurred. Angel says in Consequences that the act of taking a life will change Faith irrevocably, and Faith agrees. She sees herself as tainted from that point on, and if Buffy took her life, she would be tainted too. And though it’s understandable and morally defensible, there’s no doubt that a part of Buffy - her innocence - dies on that balcony when she sticks that knife in. That act is forever. The choice to do violence is permanent. 

So when Faith says “you killed me”, she is saying “you have become me”. She identifies a common nature in them. And when Buffy kisses her, returning it in the exact same way as when Faith first said those words, she is saying “I know”. She recognises and responds to Faith’s mirror by holding up one of her own. She matches similarity with similarity. She is finally “ready” to assimilate her shadow self, and does it by telling her shadow self that she sees her, and that she was right. 

The beautiful part of all this is that it is silent. Faith would’ve been aware of their unification in the dreamscape, since it was happening in both of their heads, but she has no way of knowing about this. I wonder if Buffy would ever tell her. I doubt it. This is the core of the Faith/Buffy tragedy. This is why I find this relationship so compelling. Buffy performs this act of recognition and devotion entirely in secret. It is a stolen kiss and a private confession. A whisper made to a sleeping lover. A letter written, sealed, stamped, and set on fire. It is an act of love and tenderness made entirely for its own sake, without witness or reward. 

This is the single most romantic moment of the show for me. In this show that in many ways about how when nothing you do matters, all that matters is what you do, what could be more romantic than this gentle kiss that changes nothing against this aching hole of violence and betrayal between them, but exists anyway, just because Buffy felt it needed to be done. It’s a silent moment that nobody but Buffy and us are privy to. Neither Faith nor the rest of the world will ever know it happened, but I know I for one will never forget.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

I would like to know your theories for Ogata we know that he represses his guilt and all his human feelings, I think that repressing allows him to cope because if he stops repressing he will have to face everything he has done, do you think Ogata will face his guilt and reconnect with his human side? If that happens I can't imagine his reaction, because when you realize you've done such horrible things you can sometimes stop trying to survive, do you think Ogata will be able to overcome this ?

Well...

I would say for sure Ogata represses his guilt as this seems to be the whole point of his Yuusaku hallucinations and nightmares and overall a central thematic in his character due to what happened in chap 165.

Repression is, after all, nothing else but a defence mechanism that ensures that what is unacceptable to the conscious mind, and would, if recalled, generate anxiety or pain or other unpleasant emotion, will remain in the unconscious so of course Ogata has to repress guilt. Even the fact Yuusaku’s face isn’t clearly visible is, in itself, a hint of how he tries not to ‘see him’ even in his memories/hallucination.

Of course I wouldn’t say Ogata represses all his emotions. We see him angry or annoyed or worried or proud of himself but with human feelings I think you mean the noble feelings like guilt, love, caring, empathy and so on, right?

Now... I wouldn’t put it on the moral perspective.

I think Ogata started repressing guilt from when he killed his mother but likely he didn’t repress his guilt because he felt he had done an amoral thing, but because he actually loved the woman and missed her and regretted killing her for basically nothing as his father didn’t came back to her. In a way the fact he loved her and yet he killed her can also be what has stunned his ability to form emotional connection. The bond between a mother and a child is a big thing and yet due to her insanity his mother rejected it and he ended up severed it. And the bond between him and his father never got a chance to form itself as the man rejected him and again Ogata had to severe that bond.

It’s no real surprise he’s not prone to form emotional bonds after the two most important bonds in his life ended with rejection and death.

There’s also to say at the time in which Ogata lived insane people more often than not lived with the family who would them provide to keep them jailed somewhere in a basement or in a room in the house, or that would conveniently lose them up on some wild mountain (basically they would take them there and abandon them there to die).

In short discreetly dispose of someone insane wasn’t viewed as ‘amoral’ and it’s meaningful once Hanazawa learnt Ogata killed his insane mother he doesn’t condemn it for that, even though it would have been very convenient for him.

The whole thing coped with the military brainwashing he underwent later, likely affected his ability to emotionally connect with the people he killed... until he met Yuusaku who somehow managed to get under his skin a little since Ogata keeps on being haunted by him.

But again accepting this would mean accepting the guilt he felt for his mother’s death so Yuusaku is sacrificed on the same altar that’s supposed to lead him to have his father ‘come back home’... only for him to discover later on it was all for nothing and the man had never cared about his mother or him.

Yuusaku in a way is the wall and the bridge between himself and the guilt for his mother’s death.

And then Asirpa shows up and Asirpa is a mix of his mother and Yuusaku.

It’s easy to see her approach with Ogata is the one of a mother figure, she does what his mother didn’t do, accept the birds he hunt and cook them, she feeds him (and the others) like children but, at the same time, she also love a man who loves another woman like how her mother loved a married man.

At the same time Asirpa shares traits with Yuusaku, she refuses to kill, she’s the daughter of a ‘soldier’ who plan to use her in his war as some sort of idol to lead men.

And it’s interesting Ogata gives her a chance to destroy him, telling her to kill him. She would be the mother who destroys the child she has generated, the brother that proves him everyone is capable to kill without regret.

But she’s also someone he’s not capable to kill.

On the ice field he points his rifle at her and just... stalls. If he had wanted to kill her all he had to do was to push the trigger and she would have died before Sugimoto had the time to scream.

And then there are two circumstances once he’s back in Hokkaido in which he thinks it would be convenient to kill her and... can’t.

After Noda built all this I would expect him to resolve this situation by forcing Ogata to face Yuusaku, accept he can’t kill Asirpa and that all this is tied to him also feeling guilt for what he has done to the people he loved, for having lost them, for having been unable to save his mother and bring his father home.

How will Ogata cope with this?

Well, Ogata knows he has done something ‘wrong’, what he has repressed isn’t what he has done, but the feeling attached to it.

He hadn’t made an excuse for his action, he just had a reason for them.

So accepting his guilt it’s kind of different from people suddently realizing they did something bad (like suddently discovering you’ve killed your beloved mother) and it might not affect how he perceives all his kills as I don’t think guilt will abruptly fall on him for all he did.

I’m more expecting him to feel guilty for the people he actually had an emotional connection with, as small as it could have been.

In itself Ogata has already shown borderline suicidal tendencies in the sense he didn’t kill himself but took unnecessary deadly risk as if completely okay with betting his own life even when unneeded and losing said bet, as if living and dying amounted to more or less the same.

We see it when he exposes himself to Tanigaki in chap 5, or when he plays bait with Vasily in chap 17, but even better when he tells Asirpa to kill him or when, instead than flattening himself against the horse, he raises himself and stretches his arms offering a better target to Sugimoto.

In this he’s a bit similar to Sekiya, who didn’t kill himself but wanted to be killed by God or Nihei who wanted to die fighting in the wilderness or Henmi who also wanted to die fighting for his life.

Ogata seems to want to die in action, challenging his enemies.

Would cope with his guilt make him even more suicidal?

It’s hard to say.

Many expect this to hit him hard when it’ll happen, possibly with him breaking down and cry but it can also come as a slow realization... though with the series being about to end I’m not sure how much time he has for this... but Noda might aim at planting the ember of a realization, not go for a full understanding complete with intensive coping and, possibly, healing.

Overall I see the idea Ogata might face his guilt and that Ogata might meet his own death as two separate problems.

I don’t think facing his guilt will make him more suicidal but he might decide to get involved in a basically suicidal mission to avoid having something else to feel guilty about... if it makes sense.

Basically if you realize that something makes you feel guilty and feeling guilty is something painful and you can’t repress that feeling you might find another way to fight it... whcih might be too risky for you to survive to it but it’s not seeking death, it’s just trying not to do something you’ll regret.

Now... I personally would prefer if Ogata were not to be conveniently killed in a heroic act like in many redemption storylines but live, learn to cope with his feelings and his actions and make up for what he has done but that’s just me.

I prefer people to start working improving the world than them being merely put out of it.

Anyway to sum it up...

1) do you think Ogata will face his guilt and reconnect with his human side?

I think for sure he’ll have to face his guilt, which means to connect with his ‘human side’. No idea how long that connection will last though and how deep it will be. It can be just him acknowledging he was wrong in his belief and that he actually regret what he did. It might be him still trying to reject this notion as it’s painful. It might be him managing to improve positively from this realization.

So far Noda didn’t go for complete heel turn but for slow changing so if Noda were to have him take a more positive approach to life we probably won’t see it unless there’s a flash forward.

2) do you think Ogata will be able to overcome this ?

I don’t think he’ll kill himself out of this relization but he might take a decision that might bring him to meet his death out of it as a consequence.

We’ll see though. Noda poured a lot of care on him. Of course it’s possible he’ll ruin him at the last moment, it can happen, but I still hope he’ll handle Ogata well. It’s too early to tell though as we’ve only scratched the surface of who Ogata is and what he wants.

We’ll need more info to judge.

Thank you for your ask!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 190: Standing Tall

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor died! But it’s okay because then he got better! In the meantime, the High Definition Noumu managed to destroy a whole lot of the city, to the point where it reminded a lot of people of the Kamino attack three months prior. There was a lot of meta about why Endeavor couldn’t quit. Part of it is because the world still needs a Symbol, and he’s what they’ve got right now. But as Hawks and Fuyumi also observed, Endeavor is also just really bad at giving up. As Hawks observed, back during All Might’s heyday, Endeavor was the only one who even attempted to try and surpass him, despite knowing he had no chance. And that’s exactly the kind of bullheaded tenacity that allowed this crazy fire man to force himself back up, use his flames to propel himself, and chase after the Noumu while the world (and his son, who’s watching in the U.A. common room with his classmates and Aizawa) looked on. Then Hawks finally showed up to help out, and lent Endeavor some of his feathers to aid him in his speed and movement. And with that little boost, Endeavor launched one final flaming fist attack. Hopefully it’ll be enough.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor punches the High Flying Noumu with his flame fist and tries to burn it from the inside out. Somehow it still doesn’t work. Everyone watching is like “AHHH” and Shouto is like “DAD D:” and Hawks is like “dude you burned all my feathers, I can’t help you out anymore.” But Endeavor is all “it’s okay we good” and he grabs the Noumu and blasts way up into the sky where he can unleash his full power without having to worry about hurting anyone in the vicinity. And then he unleashes another Prominence Burn attack, but this time with Plus Ultra. Everyone is like “holy shit” and it’s fucking tense as hell, and then a moment later Endeavor comes plummeting down from the sky still on fire and goes splat on some random car. And then he stands up and does the All Might victory pose. Goddamn. So everyone is all “YESSSSS”, and Hawks goes to help him because he’s still barely fucking conscious, and for just a moment it looks like everything’s going to be all right. And then Dabi shows up. And is all “hey there Endeavor. it sure is nice to quote-unquote ‘meet’ you, lol.” Oh fucking snap.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 209 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

lol

for a solid moment there I read this as “the beginning of Horikoshi Kouhei” and I was like oh no my man you did not just pull a goddamn Steven King and insert yourself into your own fucking manga

so here’s the full dramatic first page

poor Hawks, caught in the crossfire

oh for fuck’s sake, now we’re moving on to page 2 and Endeavor’s fist is still rushing toward this fucking Noumu. just die already please

okay it looks like it is indeed dying

this is actually pretty anticlimactic after all of that. but okay

aaaaaand it’s still regenerating. even though Endeavor has his fucking hand inside of its skull and is burning it from the inside out

shit you guys

so they are being burned up, then. not good, not fucking good at all

Endeavor is shouting Hawks’s name!

and now he’s addressing the Noumu

idk what’s going on, he’s just describing the Noumu in his mind I guess. saying shit we already know. “modified human, manufactured one, holder of multiple quirks, obsessed with the pursuit of strength”

like, what is the point of this

oh I see, it’s simply to be as dramatic as possible so as to build up to this moment

Shouto. that’s very sweet. but. he can’t hear you, honey

he doesn’t actually address him as “dad” very often though does he? in fact, I don’t recall him ever directly addressing him by “name” at all. in the handful of face to face conversations that they’ve had with each other, he’s avoided using any sort of title and has been really brusque. and whenever he talks about him, he simply refers to him as “my father” (I forget which word it is he’s using in Japanese, but it’s something fairly casual and borderline disrespectful, I’m sure)

(ETA: so he normally uses the word “oyaji” (which does mean “father” but has more of an “old man” connotation though) when addressing Endeavor, and apparently that’s the word he uses in this scene too. so there was actually no change there. I’d be annoyed at the translation being a bit misleading, but I guess “old man! I’m watching” wouldn’t have quite the same emotional impact, so that’s fair.)

anyway, so yeah, that makes this outburst even more meaningful than it initially appears to be

Hawks says his feathers are all burnt up now so he won’t be able to help any more

but Endeavor says it’s enough

and he’s flying up higher, somehow. not sure if that’s the remainder of Hawks’s wings boosting him or if he’s just using his fire again somehow. that still makes no fucking sense but okay

he’s trying to put some distance between them and the people and buildings below so as to not cause any further damage

okay here we go. one more time

odd that he would hate that motto given how obsessed he is with strength. maybe it just never clicked with him. or maybe he resented it because no amount of “plus ultra” was ever enough for him to catch up with All Might

but at any rate, this is certain some plus ultra shit right here

looooooool Horikoshi you sneaky little shit

SO THIS SHIT IS REALLY ALL BUT CONFIRMED THEN, HUH

damn it just what exactly is the story behind this. I want to know already

so now Endeavor is plummeting from the sky presumably unconscious and still very much on fire

and the guy with the air gun hands says he’ll catch him. and he’s shooting his hands out toward him

and his buddy with the chopped up floating limbs is helping too. gross

eeesh

I winced

and now there are more reaction shots, with Fuyumi’s hands over her mouth, the people from the newscopter looking on in shock, and Shouto still standing there with that same frozen “oh shit” expression as before

can anyone give this poor kid a hug or even a hand on his shoulder or fucking something already. jesus. Aizawa you’re right fucking there. what happened to all of your dad instincts

Hawks is running over now

ahhhhh yes here we go!

I expected there would be a slower, more dramatic build up to this, but he just like bounced back to his feet and fucking did it right away lol

well whatever. he earned it. he earned this

all right, Enji. I’ll admit it, you are making some great strides here. none of this is gonna get me to actually forgive you, mind. but I have done quite a bit of essaying on redemption at this point, and I gotta say, you meet those criteria. you are learning and trying to be better and actually succeeding. it doesn’t undo any of the shitty things you did, but that’s up to those characters whether they’re okay with moving past it or not. in the meantime you seem to be doing what you can to make up for it now, and while it would have been preferable for you to have learned this lesson some 25 years earlier... better late than never

and now everyone is cheering!

goddammit, they really needed this. a victory like this. something to help restore their faith

All Might’s sitting and looks kind of blown away. like his hair is literally blown away. did someone turn the fan on in this room or

ohhhhh my god

oh my heart. whoa there. I wasn’t ready for this

is he praying?? is this a thank you? or is this just relief and he just kind of slumped for a second and just happened to clasp his hands like that for lack of knowing what else to do

either way it’s giving me a lot of feels

although even now they’re all just standing around him hovering like they want to comfort him, but they’re afraid or there’s some invisible force field there or something. JUST PAT HIM ON THE DAMN BACK ALREADY. jesus he was so tense. that was so intense can you please give him some support please and thank you guys

by the way they seriously need to turn up the heat in the dorms it looks like. holdover thought from the previous chapters that I forgot to remark on because I was binging the rest of this arc. but they’re all bundled up quite a lot for being indoors

awwwwww

what is this. I thought I was supposed to come out of this arc shipping Dabi/Hawks?? I have yet to understand that? but Endeavor/Hawks (or more like Hawks/Endeavor) is certainly coming off very strong

(ETA: to be clear I don’t ship this romantically, because Endeavor is old enough to be his dad. which is kind of the point, actually. Endeavor fucked up with all four of his actual kids, but now with Hawks he has miraculously been granted the chance to make a new start with someone who’s disconnected from all of that. basically this is the first bond Endeavor has ever formed that isn’t fucking toxic, and I think it’s important for him on his path to making amends in whatever ways he can. this is a chance for him to actually try and be a good father to someone, and better late than never. 

because Hawks is also someone who has relatively few close connections with people, because he keeps all his true feelings bottled up for self-preservation reasons, and keeps people at a distance by being casual and aloof with everyone (though in a friendly way). and yet for whatever reason, he’s gone and adopted Endeavor. maybe it’s just that he sees Endeavor as the best hope the world’s got right now, and so mentoring him to be less of an ass gets him closer to his goal of one day not having to do this job anymore. or maybe something about Endeavor’s asshole nature makes Hawks feel more at ease being open with him, because he doesn’t need to worry about making Endeavor worry, because Endeavor will just keep on not giving a shit no matter what, so that’s nice. except that Endeavor does perhaps give the tiniest of shits, shockingly. and I think that’s something that came as a surprise to them both and caught them both off guard.

anyways. so somehow this relationship between a hot pile of garbage and a character who was only introduced six chapters ago became one of my favorites in the series in a staggeringly short amount of time. sometimes life is strange like that.)

LMAO

I USED THE OTHER ARM. SO IT’S NOT THE SAME. SHUT UP

(ETA: also would you fucking look at this fucking fanboy knowing which arm it’s actually supposed to be and still bothering to be all “HMPH!” about it. how does it feel to be a 45-year-old chuuni, Endeavor)

damn he is harsh on himself

jesus christ Horikoshi. I keep thinking this, but it really is like a textbook study of how to redeem a character. he ticked off every single box. give them everything they wanted only for them to realize it wasn’t what they wanted at all. make them remorseful for their past actions. make them strive forward with new purpose. make them suffer but refuse to give in. give them an eyepatch. (ETA: dammit.) give them new relationships that aren’t tied to all of the horrible shit they did in their past, so we can see them interact with someone without that for once and get a glimpse of who they could have been and maybe just maybe still could be with a lot of hard work

like, I know when I’m being manipulated, but damned if it isn’t a masterful fucking job

anyways. Hawks says that he still did a good job and this will definitely be huge

and he says that first off “we have to do something about your injuries” and lol, duhhhhh though

SJSLDFKLSKHGK

YOU HOLD UP!!!! DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE

I FEEL LIKE I SUMMONED HIM LMAO

okay Dabi. meet Hawks? unless you already know him? I don’t know, actually and I’m very curious as to what’s going on here

because it now occurs to me that my earlier suspicion of Hawks still could be right on the money and it’s possible that he was even working with Dabi. because idk but people ship this something fierce so there must be some connection, either past or future. and that attack was no fucking coincidence, and it certainly was no coincidence either that it ended up doing exactly what Hawks wanted it to do

but anyways. I’m getting ahead of myself now and I’m sure we’ll find out more about this shortly!

and look at Dabi greeting his old man like he’s never met him before, too. you think you’re so fucking smooth, huh

(ETA: so the “I guess” part here is actually very significant. I’ll just let Viz’s translator Caleb Cook explain:

basically, your two options are (1) Dabi is a fire-user whose true identity is still being deliberately withheld and whose physical appearance (hairstyle, eye color, approximate age) just happens to match up near-perfectly with the missing Todoroki sibling who was coincidentally mentioned in this same arc for the very first time, and who has apparently met Endeavor before, but in spite of this he somehow is not Todoroki Touya; or (2) Dabi is Todoroki Touya.

I don’t know about you guys, but I know where I stand with this one lol.)

shit. what an ending. what a fucking arc this is turning out to be

[theheightofdishonor]

Jason Grace in TLO (ok i tried)

I swear, I was going to write a meta on Jason Grace, on how he’s perceived to be vs how he actually is and all that. Trying to pinpoint why exactly Jason in canon is a boring character. No offense, but for the most part, it’s more fandom than the actual books themselves that lead to a person to liking Jason as a character. Now, i’m not trying to say it’s like that for everyone, just that it seems to be true for a lot of people from what I've seen. 

Anyway,  I started reading the Lost Hero again, to really get that feel for him because I haven’t actually reread the HoO in a while and god, the books infuriate the crap out of me. I don’t remember being this frustrated with it before. I actually like the Lost Hero as a book. But this time, it annoyed me so much I literally couldn’t get through the book or focus enough to stay unbiased as I observed Jason throughout the book. 

30 pages in, 30 pages and Jason’s still stumbling around. Now I understand the amnesia thing and he’s trying to figure everything out but there’s not a single instant where he’s solid about anything-except his minute jealousy/hatred of Dylan. I don’t understand why i’m supposed to like his character. Jason’s supposed to be a Roman, he’s supposed to be to Camp Jupiter what Percy is to Camp Half-blood. They’re supposed to be each other’s foils and I can’t see it. Except for his Latin knowledge and stuff, there’s nothing, nothing Roman about Jason at all. He’s been at Camp Jupiter for 12 years from what his SPQR tattoos tell us, far longer than Percy’s been at Camp Half-blood. Yet, how is it that I can’t see a single instance that would prove to me that this kid could stand Lupa’s training and make it to Camp Jupiter? 

And we all know the seen in TLO where he’s all ‘I’m the son of Jupiter! I’m a child of Rome, etc’. The speech he gives to Porphyrion, the one that he rattles off like ‘he’s said them many times before’. Nothing in this book shows me that Jason Grace is the type of person to have rattled of his many titles/accomplishments well enough that it would come instinctively out of his mouth. 

We don’t need a Roman that doesn’t really fit in, yet is respected, that’s what Frank ends up becoming. I want a Roman that is more, well, Roman. He doesn’t have to be full out Reyna about it but like enough to rival Percy’s Greekness should be good. 

And for all this ‘Jason’s a natural leader!’ crap, he doesn’t have that confidence that comes with leadership. And yeah, you can make a shit ton of excuse but the thing is, Jason’s a son of Jupiter, he’s used to being looked up to for this kinda shit and it should be just as instinctual for him to act confident as it is for him to rattle of those names or speak Latin. He has this thing for emotionally closing himself off (that makes complete sense, btw and oh look, also adds another similarity between him and Percy) yet even that doesn’t kick in here. Romans are all about not showing weakness. I know that the point is that he’s supposed to be un-Roman enough to accept/like going over to the Greeks. (Rick FAILED trying to do the opposite by making Percy ‘want’ to go to/prefer Camp Jupiter because his loyalty to Camp Half-blood’s already been too well established and the whole thing ended up coming off as shabby and badly carried out) The problem with Jason is that we don’t see that he’s Roman to begin with. in SoN, Percy’s obviously not Roman, he doesn’t fit in. From the way he thinks to how he fights, he’s Greek. The same can’t be said for Jason. Despite his talk later on, we don’t ever actually see Jason being super attached to Camp Jupiter and it makes me wonder why he was the one send over. 

The arc about choosing the other camp doesn’t make much sense to me with the two characters that Rick chooses. Yes, I can see why Percy of all people choosing the Roman Camp would mean something, but in-universe, Percy wouldn’t do that. It’s not believable enough. He may have been able to pull it off but Percy’s deeply rooted in camp and it’s just not played right. And Jason doesn’t come off as Roman enough for it to mean anything on his part. He has some emotional conflict regarding it later but it’s just a few thoughts and until that point, he’s never really shown attachment to the Roman camp or anything really to show that he was really influenced by the 12 fucking years he spent there. While that arc itself has some potential, it just doesn’t work. 

Jason as a character doesn’t work for me. He’s so boring, so bland and it bores and infuriates me at the same time. Jason has so much potential. 12 years as a Roman, think of how that would affect him and his views on Camp Half-blood, more than ‘Greeks are so carefree!”. Think of the struggles he’d have wrestling with two vastly different mindsets, especially in TLO. He’s exposed to the Greek beliefs/world far earlier than Percy is to Roman. He’s latching on what they’re telling him because he hasn’t had time to really figure his beliefs and shit out for himself. The mental struggle that would cause later on as he starts to regain his instincts and previous mindset and finding his place in them? God, that could’ve been great. And way more of how his adventures in TLO affect how he sees his previous experiences at Camp Jupiter and flipped. Instead, we can’t pinpoint anything about his character. He’s kind, gentle and cute. Okay, what else? I want something more to his character than that. If you asked me to describe his character, I wouldn’t know how. There aren’t a lot of defining characteristics in his personality  apart from the kind gentle thing and okay, maybe you could add that he’s a leader but on Jason, it’s more of a loose title he wears rather than a defining characteristic.

And his relationships as established in TLO. Okay, let’s talk about that.  Jason’s two main relationships are with Leo and Piper. 

With Piper, it’s more of a romantic sort. He sees her, knows they’re together, tries to get a feel for this girl and figure out what his feelings are towards her but assumes that if he does have them, they will definitely be on a romantic level. The thing with Jiper is that they could be great friends and we could see them bond as friends first and slowly reach the dating thing and you could argue that’s what Rick tries to do but it’s not well done. Jason’s thoughts on the subject don’t go far beyond ‘she’s cute, I wouldn’t mind dating her but I have a feeling I had some kinda thing going on w/ a girl back home’ while Piper can’t stop fixating on what she thought was a relationship with this guy and kinda just wants to get back there without redoing all the work which is admittedly understandable. They don’t really sit down and talk about this. They have moments but they don’t clear up what they think about each other and where they are with each other. And this is the most pushed, most shown dynamic between the trio of Jason, Leo, Piper. It leaves me dissatisfied and disinterested. The whole thing with Piper’s dad and that one other time they had a meaningful conversation was great but come on, that can’t be all they’re getting. We know they’ll end up together eventually, Jason mentions that he thinks she’s cute like on the second page but make it count. 

This leads me to talk about Leo. Finally. Personally I think TLO is Leo’s book to shine. When I forced myself to read through the book for this reread, it confirmed Leo as my fav out of this trio (So far, this is before his character was reduced to the sum of his love interests) Now before I talk about Leo in regards to Jason, I wanted to note that Leo came off as extremely non-hetero to me, more than usual. He keeps focusing on girls-and in a horribly shallow way- almost obsessively. It’s like he’s consciously forcing himself to think about it either in order to avoid thinking about something else or to just convince himself that he should have his eye on a girl in a romantic nature at all times. It sounds a lot like I used to and just confirms ace!Leo. 

Ok, now let’s actually talk about Jason and Leo. I hate it. Jason does this thing (less than Piper does but still) where he’s constantly wanting Leo out, there’s this general feeling that Leo is unwanted and only there to get in the way of Jason/Piper. Leo’s rarely deemed important enough to consider an equal, the honor goes to Piper. More often than not, he’s just there to be ‘annoying’. Though they keep talking and talking about how their great friendship, they never form one. Part of this is the fact that they don’t realize this is a problem that’s actually happening and part of it’s Jason and Piper’s unconscious attempts to put a distance there. I also feel like it acts to make Jason and Piper seem like an even stronger relationship in comparison to either of their dynamics with Leo but that could be just me. I’m not saying that Leo’s completely faultless here because he doesn’t do anything to resolve this though he constantly feels left out and like a third wheel despite his attempts to repress those feelings. Leo hides his pain with humor and as the story goes on, it feels as if he’s putting up more of a wall if anything because the he’s starting to feel hurt from the constant exclusion, enough that he can’t fully repress it. It sucks even more because if you think about it, they could be a great friendship. They both tend to repress their emotions, they don’t like sharing their personal feelings and thoughts with others, they’re a little slow to trust and that could help both of them, knowing someone who is like them and actively working together to get over/deal with those things together, a kin spirit in a way. Their surface differences would work to make it an even better relationship and we never see that. 

Jason/Piper/Leo are meant to be like Percy/Hazel/Frank but in terms of bonds, the SoN trio is miles ahead of our TLO group. Jason’s relationships with Piper and Leo respectively are far more flimsy and ill-formed than Percy’s with Frank and Hazel. And this situation doesn’t give Percy the advantage because it has nothing to do with the audience being familiar with the character and everything to do with the author and how the story is set up/written. Where SoN is great in how it introduces new, likable characters, TLO almost completely fails. Now, it is partially that TLO has to work with three new characters while SoN only had two but that doesn’t excuse the vast differences in character quality. 

Oh, before I end this post, I did want to talk Jason and Annabeth. One of my greater regrets, especially following the Mark of Athena and Annabeth’s distrust of Jason was that the relationship between the two didn’t ever go anywhere. Outside of a few moments, it was nonexistent. You’re telling me that TLO Jason would see this girl that should be familiar to him, if only because of her similarities to Reyna and not have an opinion on her above ‘she’s scary’? We know what his relationship was to be with Percy but Annabeth? I’d pay to see that; some kind of pivotal moment where her distrust of him leads somewhere or is played off or resolved or whatever. It could be one-sided or both with Jason being wary around this girl. And though Jason’s reformed to the Greek side, he’s apparently like still somewhat Roman? ( I don’t think he was really roman to begin with but whatevs) I wanna know though how a partial Roman/Greek would stand with Annabeth who out of the 7 is the only one that is completely unapologetically Greek; the only one who’s had as long of an experience at one camp as Jason has. Of course that would unsettle her a bit because she’s never wanted to be Roman and never will and she sees this guy who’s been going to one camp his entire life and you’re telling me she isn’t going to wonder how he could switch over so easily? AND, Annabeth not really liking Jason would def affect his relationship with Percy too. In short, those two could’ve been interesting. I’m not quite sure where I would’ve gone with it but it could’ve been interesting. And that’s all folks. 

[toraonice]

Would you be willing to share some of your thoughts about Yuri's motivation over the rings, at least? I'd be curious to read your thoughts especially since that scene in particular has a lot of cultural terminology and background that doesn't translate perfectly for International audiences to begin with.

This is a hard one because, as you wrote, I think there are cultural differences especially regarding the concept of “omamori” (protective charms).

First of all it would be very useful to read this interesting and complete post about “omamori”. Although regarding the part about the rings being round and that symbolizing a bond I’m not sure, I think that might be reading too deeply. At the end there’s also my comment on the meaning of the word “omajinai”, which is also not that easy to translate…

This said, the rest under the cut. Of course this is just my personal interpretation based on the Japanese dialogues in the anime and partly on interviews (I think it doesn’t even clash with the “soulmates” thing in the interview from CREA). All quotes from the dialogues are translated by me and do not use the English sub/dub. I am translating “omamori” as “protective charm”.

Warning: it’s kind of long and has pictures because if I don’t explain it thoroughly it might be hard to get my point across.

I will start by saying that I don’t think Yuuri ever meant it as a marriage proposal, though I think he does realize that what he bought are wedding rings.

There is actually something about the rings that I’m not sure how many people have noticed. When Yuuri buys the rings at the shop he says “I’ve always wanted a protective charm.”, which means that he has probably thought about that before. Now, at the beginning of episode 10, when he is on the bed looking at his Instagram feed, he sees this picture:

After seeing the other skaters have fun he thinks about the tournament and gets anxious remembering his past failures. I’m wondering whether the possibility of matching rings or similar objects as “omamori” didn’t unconsciously come to his mind after seeing JJ’s picture…

At the shop he tells Victor: “I-it’s a protective charm, you know! So that I can do my best in the final… and also, to thank you for all you’ve done so far.” He’s stuttering, in the first part he sounds embarrassed and then he sounds more confident by the end of the line, but he is basically trying to justify the purchase, which in my opinion is probably because he realizes that what he is buying are wedding rings, and of course he knows what they normally mean and what they are used for.

Now, why they exchange the rings in front of a church is a bit mysterious. Since the exchange of the charms is probably very important to Yuuri, like a “ceremony” (also considering that he asks for a “omajinai” later), I guess he didn’t want to do that standing somewhere randomly but he wanted to choose a meaningful place, and even if he didn’t mean it as a proposal he might have just connected “rings = church”.

Another mysterious thing is: why the ring finger, and why the right hand. I guess they had to try the rings on to check the size, and all fingers have different sizes so they must have chosen the ring fingers. It is also possible that, since they are wedding rings (and coincidentally, in Spain guys can get married, though actually I doubt the creators thought this far), the shopkeeper automatically measured their ring fingers and they just didn’t say anything. Regarding the right hand, I’m not sure whether Yuuri knows of the Russian tradition of keeping a wedding ring on the right hand. In the end he didn’t even know about birthday and Christmas traditions, judging from his conversation with Victor earlier, so why should he know about marriage? Even if he’s Victor’s fan, I don’t think he has ever contemplated marrying him, and Victor was never married (this I assume from what he says about his “life & love”), so it would make sense that he just doesn’t know, and might ironically have chosen the right hand and avoided the left on purpose. Though actually, he doesn’t take Victor’s hand himself, so we don’t know who of the two chose the hand.

When they exchange the rings, Victor looks just puzzled the whole time and says nothing, almost as if he’s curious to see what Yuuri is going to do next. We have his monologue, “sometimes, when athletes are cornered, they might act in totally unexpected ways”, which pretty much confirms that, well, he’s genuinely surprised. In YOI they put a great deal of effort in drawing the characters’ facial expressions, you can read a lot from their faces and I believe that in some scenes, together with the dialogues, they give hints as to the characters’ feelings.

Yuuri looks absolutely embarrassed, and nervous. He almost never looks at Victor in the eyes, and not even at Victor’s hand, he is just trying his best to express his feelings. Victor on the contrary is staring at his own hand with the ring.

What Yuuri says (stuttering) is: “Thank you for everything so far. I-I couldn’t think of, anything else that would be as perfect. But…! T-tomorrow I’m going to do my best, so, c-could you make a wish…?” (With “anything else” he refers to the rings)

Now here “wish” is “omajinai”, which like I wrote in my note to the post about omamori is basically like saying “please say something that will bring me luck/protect me from bad luck”. In Japan you get omamori from a temple or shrine, and they are already “blessed” by the local god. If you buy talisman arrows, which are “more powerful omamori” in the shape of an arrow used to chase away evil, you sometimes have them blessed at the shrine where you purchased them. In this case, I think Yuuri wants Victor to say something that will basically “empower” the ring, thus transforming it from just a ring into a real “protective charm”. (It sounds very spiritual if you explain it in detail, but actually it’s not that much, it’s kind of common knowledge even if you’re not religious at all, because non-religious people buy omamori too in Japan)

After saying this Yuuri looks a mix between embarrassed and anxious (you can see it better from the anime than the screencaps because of the highlights flickering in his eyes). I think he’s a bit scared of Victor’s reaction, because he probably does understand that what he’s doing is not very “normal”, and it wouldn’t be weird if Victor just said “what the hell?” or “are you serious?”.

However, Victor just takes his hand and tells him: “It’s ok. I’ll make a wish so that you won’t have to think of anything. (here he slips the ring on Yuuri’s finger) Tomorrow show me the skating that you like the best, ok?”

That “you won’t have to think of anything” has a nuance as if saying “that you won’t have to worry”. Like, “don’t worry and just skate the way you like the best”. Victor knows that Yuuri gets anxious before matches and when he thinks too much he screws up his performance, so he probably thought that would be the best advice to calm him down.

[Extra note: in the anime storyboard for this shot, which (long story, it became news on Twitter about 1 month ago..) someone tried to sell via auction sites in Japan, there was handwriting saying “here Victor understands what Yuuri means”, which confirms my idea that Victor accepts Yuuri’s action as it is. Unfortunately I forgot to save the pic and then the item was removed from the site, very likely for legal reasons, but actually it shouldn’t have been posted around in the first place, though I’d die to read the manga or anime storyboard.. (legally of course)]

Here Yuuri looks very emotional and then finally smiles at Victor, relieved. I think he is relieved because Victor, instead of criticizing his very unusual action (which is what he feared), accepts it and shows understanding.

After this Victor says, in his monologue: “This is the only shortcut to the gold medal I know. I will trust anything that Yuuri decides.” The way Victor smiles is also not like “oh I’m so happy!”, it’s more like a calm, very gentle smile, with which he reassures Yuuri who was visibly tense.

To recap, I personally believe that Yuuri, while being aware that what he bought are wedding rings, didn’t actually mean to propose to Victor but he genuinely wanted something to represent their bond and act as a charm that would put him at ease before the tournament. This is also why he gets embarrassed when Phichit misunderstands, and the reason he doesn’t deny what Victor says about the engagement is probably that he didn’t expect Victor to say something like that and before he could find the words to complete what he was about to say the others were glaring at him because of the “gold medal” thing. But in my opinion he might have thought/understood that Victor was joking.

Regarding Victor… it’s more complex. If at the end of episode 9 he told Yuuri “it sounds like a proposal” when he said “please take care of me until I retire”, then why doesn’t he say anything like that when Yuuri gives him the ring, which looks much more like a proposal? I think it’s because he realized that this was something very important to Yuuri, and if he said anything like that Yuuri would probably panic. However, as I do actually believe that Victor at this point of the story has romantic feelings for Yuuri, I also think that he seriously did his best to accept Yuuri’s action the way Yuuri meant it, but that he is in fact happy about the ring, even though he knows that it wasn’t actually meant that way.

In the scene with everyone eating together, when they are asked about the rings at first Victor is like “it’s matching rings~” as if he’s showing them off, but then when Phichit congratulates them for their wedding we see Victor blushing because of the rings for the first time, and he’s also surprised, meaning that he probably didn’t expect someone to take it that seriously. After this I think he’s just amused and talks about the engagement as a joke, which is also why he says “right, Yuuri~?” despite the fact that Yuuri is clearly trying to explain the misunderstanding. In a way, here Victor can finally tease him about the rings because it’s not a significant and tense situation like when they were in front of the church.

However, Victor is not stupid and I think he understands that the others are really taking them seriously (which also means that in the minds of even Phichit and Chris, who know Yuuri and Victor well, it’s not weird that they would get married, and that makes you think about how others consider their relationship).  Also, Phichit is known for posting “inappropriate” information on the SNS, so for what they know he might just announce their wedding on Instagram 2 minutes later. Victor saying that joke despite this risk also means that he doesn’t mind if the world thinks that he and Yuuri are actually engaged. Which I guess is also why he doesn’t mind having a wedding ring on his right hand regardless of all the possible rumors that might ensue considering he’s Russia’s superstar Victor Nikiforov.

Lastly, I don’t necessarily think that Yuuri is not in love with Victor, but I think that he doesn’t understand his own feelings. He himself calls it “love” because he doesn’t know what to call it, however he probably has never really been in love so far (beside the thing he had for Yuuko but he was little and it was probably very different) and has always considered Victor his idol, so he might not think that he can possibly be romantically in love with Victor. Victor is very kind to him and never pushes him in any way, so he definitely never questioned him about his feelings. It’s very likely that Yuuri just doesn’t connect their relationship to romantic love.

Of course this is all just how I interpret that scene and other people might see it in different ways. I doubt the creators will ever reveal what was really going on inside Yuuri and Victor’s minds, so except for the fact that Yuuri bought two rings and that he probably didn’t mean it as a marriage proposal the rest is completely open to interpretations, including their exact feelings.

I will end it with 2 quotes by Yuuri’s seiyuu Toyonaga and Victor’s seiyuu Suwabe from this interview, which in my opinion are pretty spot on (as in they make sense with my interpretation):

Toyonaga: “Figure skating is a lonely sport though, so I do understand how if you are right before an important match you might want something to spiritually rely on, a tangible protective charm (omamori). Victor is the person Yuuri is currently relying on, therefore he wants Victor to trust him. He wanted some kind of proof of that, and as he was looking around his eyes happened to stop on a jewelry shop… I think that if there had a been a shrine right there he would have bought matching omamori.“

Suwabe: “In episode 10 we see him giving a ring to Victor as a present. Of course I do think that he also meant it as a way to convey his feelings of gratitude for the precious time he has given him, but I personally had the feeling that there might be a more egoistic reason behind this action, which is to turn the “bond” that they have built so far into something visible.”