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blindrapture · 2 months

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TUESDAY JULY 26TH, 2011 (See, the Thing is...)

7:29 AM I'm awake earlier than the others. I sneaked out of bed, letting Donnie sleep, and came to the kitchen so I could just.. be alone with my headache. EAT told me so much last night. Why did I have to drink?

7:31 AM Going over it. The Ciphers are still bad, that hasn't changed, but now word has spread that they exist at all and so another group of people has come to California in hopes of finding the right rabbit hole. EAT said they're motorcyclists. Bikers. If I had to guess, and I do, they're those bikers that we saw yesterday. They're here in the city. So that's something to do today. More worryingly, the RAF are working for the Archangel. That's.. definitely bad. Also probably worth looking into, verifying for myself? Frankly I trust EAT on it, but maybe I shouldn't??? EAT did also tell me… Well. She didn't get all that specific. She? They? EAT. I didn't really let EAT elaborate. But, Donnie's still alive, so the Thing that Cody had done with her wasn't kill her. I think I took a solid guess when I was drunk. I think EAT saw them kiss. Or more, y'know, but let's just leave this at a kiss. Hell, maybe it wasn't even a kiss! Maybe they made fun of me behind my back! Maybe they made a pact! Maybe they played Scrabble! Maybe all of the above!

7:35 AM It doesn't matter. I don't know the whole story. And it wouldn't matter even then. I'm here to do a thing. I'm here to find Bones, and stop those bikers. And I'm all out of Bones. I'm gonna do some work by myself today.

7:38 AM Left the house. No one heard. Taking the car.

8:02 AM Been driving around. It's still early, few people are up and about. I'm looking for bikes. Or I'm looking for a construction site.

8:08 AM Pulled over to have a look at some graffiti. It's a bunch of symbols. They're arranged, like they're making a picture. An eye. Above a bunch of rectangles with music notes. Above a lot of smaller rectangles. Buildings? "RAPTURE IS COMING." Yeah. I am too. Better watch out.

8:09 AM Look at this city. There are still phone booths. Those were already becoming obsolete. They're still here even when the dollar isn't. ..the sky is flickering.

8:25 AM Visitacion. The school. Gonna find that window.

8:31 AM The sun's coming in through the windows, making it possible to see where I'm going.

8:34 AM There's the classroom. There's the candle, its remnants melted on the floor. But Jackie is gone. It's possible Tiger, or one of his friends, came back here and found her. It's possible she's buried now. It's also possible that they never did. If Cody shot her, he might have been the one to come back and cover his tracks. Or maybe he told someone he trusted. Like Heaven. Or like.. something else.

8:35 AM I never knew you, but I might be the only one who knows what happened to you. Maybe I should tell Donnie. But. Does she still love him?

9:11 AM People are starting to walk the streets in numbers. It's that time of day. I've passed food stalls, cafes, preparing for service. Stores with clothing in the window that looks homemade. We still have knitters and seamstresses. I saw a computer repair store. A sign outside said they unlock phones too. I haven't seen any construction. I haven't seen any police. And I haven't seen any banks, not even for that Z. But right now I'm staring at something I didn't expect to see. A movie theater. Unless they're playing The Murder of Gonzago, I don't think I'll get much use out of it. All the same, I find myself gravitating towards it. These places are a cultural cornerstone. A way to kill time, for those who don't take stories seriously. And a way to think things through, for those who do.

9:15 AM They're charging Z for showings, but I think the kid at the counter recognized me from the Party House, he just waved me in. What's on soon? Lots of comedies. Shaun of the Dead. The Terminal. The Sting. The Italian Job. And then there's an odd one out. The Thing.

11:00 AM Huh. That movie was way less scary than it had any right to be. Practical effects have come a long way since then. In the end, it was more of a.. Whodunnit with cool vibes.

11:04 AM Hang on. I was getting back in the car when I thought I recognized someone. And yeah. Heaven's out in town, heading somewhere. It must be that time of day. … If I want to do this, I've got to be smart about it. Leaving my hat, coat, and scarf in the car. Taking a different shirt from the pile we have in the back.

11:09 AM She hasn't actually been looking behind her at all. Like she doesn't care about, or at least doesn't expect, being followed.

11:11 AM I wish… Honestly? I wish I can find Salmacis again. EAT would be a valuable asset right now.

11:21 AM There is a construction site. I've never driven around this part of the city. Failure on my part. But there's a lot of streets here in downtown. You kinda get into habits of where to check. No signs anywhere clarifying the construction company. Some white vans parked, filled with rebar and scaffolding. This is, or was, gonna be another skyscraper. It doesn't look like anyone's here now working on it. Just the one woman walking in, no hard hat. Following her further is gonna be tough, as there's no plausible excuse for it. Watching from a distance for now.

11:23 AM She walked up some stairs, and now I see her on the skeletal second floor. No walls. She's just standing around now. Waiting?

11:25 AM No, it looks like she's been talking to someone up there. But I see no one else.

11:26 AM ...Cody just turned the corner nearby. He's on his way. Uh. Uh. Uh. Bail. Gotta bail.

11:27 AM I uh I just booked it. Got around a corner. When I peeked back around the corner, Cody was absolutely just standing still, looking in my general direction, eyes wide. I. I think he clocked me.

11:42 AM Getting back to the car was kinda confusing, but I kept a brisk pace and took side streets. I'm here. My stuff's still here. Okay. Fuck. Okay. Next order of business.

11:59 AM home. please still be there, Donnie.

12:01 PM Donnie!!! "Oh, you're back!" Donnie, we've gotta, uh. Come to the car with me! "Wha?"

12:02 PM Donnie, listen. I have learned some things. "What things? What did you find?" ...god how do I. The RAF are working for Archie. "They're…" We can't stay here. We need to find the bikers and get out. "Bikers?" There's another group of people going after the last Cipher. They're those bikers. "..yeah, I remember seeing them…" We've got to stop them, and we're better off leaving this city altogether. Whatever the RAF have planned can't be good. "How do you know this?" I.. went looking around on my own. "Yeah? What did you see?" Heaven goes out every day to a construction site and talks with.. Archie. "Really? That.. sounds serious." And Cody goes there too. I think he spotted me. "That's why you're in a rush?" Yeah. "Well... do you think maybe, if we talked to Cody, he might explain?" Donnie… "There might be another reason Heaven's talking to a Fear. Maybe Cody came to save her or back her up!" No, Donnie, listen, Cody's... not good. "What?" He. He shot Jackie. Two days ago, when I went out to help him and Tiger. "Jordan, how…" He, he split us up, he went off alone with Jackie, he even showed me his gun before he left, and later that night I found Jackie, dead, with a bullet hole in her head! D: "And. But." It was in an abandoned school! I don't think anyone else knew she was there! But Cody mentioned the school to us before we split up! "Jordan." Please, Donnie, I know he did it, I know he was the one, I've.. been freaking out about this for days now. "Jordan…" ....yeah? "Jordan, I.. I believe you." … "He can be hot-headed. And he takes protection very seriously. I can believe that he thought Jackie did something to endanger us, and he.. may have killed her. I can believe it because he told me." He. … "He told me yesterday, after I came home. He had been wracked with guilt over it. He was close to shooting himself. But I talked him out of it." Well. Well what did he say was the reason? "He said that Jackie was working for the Archangel." ...no… "I know. It was hard to hear, that a Fear had gotten so close to us." No, Donnie, please, it was a lie. "Well, how can you be so sure?" Because EAT told me! "...EAT told you?" Yes! Last night, after you went home! A Camper came to the Party House! I took it away so people wouldn't know we were talking, you know how these people get with Fears, but EAT's good! EAT's on our side! "......" EAT told me about the bikers, about the RAF, about Archie! I told EAT about Cody, I didn't get that from her! "'Her.'" Please, Donnie, please, I need your trust in this. >_< "You.. couldn't have trusted me to come with you today?" That's... something else. "Well, I'm listening." ..I really don't want to say it. >__< But. Okay. Look. As a demonstration of trust, okay? "Thank you." EAT told me that you and Cody... well. okay. being totally honest, EAT didn't actually tell me what you and Cody do. EAT was probably going to, but I cut her off, because I assumed what it was. "...and what do you assume?" ...love? "...I see." she's getting out of the car, WAIT "Just. Give me a minute. Okay?" Okay...

12:07 PM She got back in. "I don't know.. what EAT saw. Cody has been trying to get intimate with me, trying to.. bring back what we used to have, but in person now. It's clear he wants it. He has kissed me." Okay. "It sounds like we've had a breakdown of trust. You and me." she's.. pale. Maybe. It does feel like a breakdown. "First of all, I appreciate what you are doing here, a little late, but I think I understand what you were going through. I appreciate that you're demonstrating trust now." Thank you. ._. "Second, I.. think I feel less trust for you these days than I have before. I have responsibility in this." ...ah. "It's.. the Fears, Jordan. I'm really not comfortable with you running headfirst into the Fears every chance you get. Initiating conversations with them when you don't even know what they're capable of or what they want to do right then in that moment." ...and EAT. ._. "Oh yeah. Definitely EAT." … "But." … "But I think I see why you trust EAT." You do? "It has not been hostile to us, not once. It has initiated the conversations and treated us with respect, or something like respect. I still think it's possible that it has ulterior motives, that it just wants you to do what it says, and it picked a non-violent way to do so. But... even that is better than the other Fears." It feels like EAT's experiencing all this with us. "Like EAT is your peer?" Well. Yes and no. Honestly, it feels like EAT is a big enough thing that it can be the peer to things on multiple levels of... power. Like that's just the result of its, like... size? "You really trust this thing." I mean, I am also ready to run, or if I have to, fight, if a Camper ever does turn against us. I'm not.. blind to this. "But you. You trust it." I trust EAT. And I trust you, Donnie. And, listen, you came first. "...okay." Okay? "Yeah. I think we can still continue to talk about this over time, this is an ongoing process." It's our relationship. o: "And. I do want to say. And I want you to listen to this. ...I did consider, um, getting back with Cody. I did consider it." ...I'm listening. "I did talk to him about you, about your.. gung-ho approach. I told him in confidence that it makes me anxious to see the Fears all talking to you. And that's what it is, it's anxiety. It's a scary sight, to see someone I care about surrounded by monsters. And you.. welcome it." I wouldn't say… "…" ...no, actually, yeah, you're right. Well articulated. "Thank you. It is scary, and it does mean that I have to seriously consider what would happen if, one of these times, you welcome your own death. In that case, yes, I would have to start welcoming.. someone else. And that is the conversation I had with Cody." The one that led to him kissing you? "Well, actually, I said all this after I rebuffed his kiss. Because, you... belligerent jackass, that day hasn't actually happened. You're a fucking riddle. You don't ever welcome your death. You welcome threats and then always manage to avoid death. It's terrifying to be around, but it's only terrifying because I fucking love you." I understand. "I'm not finished! Because it's not even your fault that it's terrifying! San Francisco makes us forget this a little, but there's a red sky out there! Life has changed, maybe forever! The threats are there, and if you didn't welcome them, you'd react by cowering in fear, freezing in place, and waiting for the first one to come and bite your head off! Your infuriating nature is what's kept you alive and able to protect others." ... .w. It's. It's as you say. It's not like I wanted this responsibility. I'm dealing with the cards I'm given. "Yeah. I know, sweetheart." Thank you so much for. Talking to me. "Thank you for the same."

12:10 PM But. So. Do you believe me about the rest of it? "Well, the question is if I believe EAT." Yeah. "A bunch of bikers looking for the Cipher, okay, that's just wacky enough, I don't see why EAT would make that up. That sounds like a priority." Yeah! "The RAF working for the Archangel... that's a harder pill to swallow. I'm sorry." No, I get it. I mean, heh, you want a good punchline here? I may have stretched the truth when I said I saw Heaven talking to Archie. I didn't even see. So I get it. All I have are little details, and EAT tying them together in a neat narrative. "Ah, of course." Yeah. "...so what did you actually see?" It. It's weird. I saw her talking, but there was no one there. She went all this way, to a construction site in the middle of the city, to just stand around and talk to the air. "............huh." ..what? "Cody may have.. warned me about this. He said Heaven has been acting strangely. And.." … ..Donnie? "He's here."

12:12 PM We got out of the car, because Cody's coming up to the house. He sees us. Is indignant. "Donnie! What is that little shit telling you?" Hey! donnie "He's been very open with me, and I've been talking him out of some suspicions." "'Suspicions!' Huh! Yeah, I'll bet! What were you doing with Heaven, kid? What the fuck were you doing?" I wanted to see where she goes every day! I saw her talking to someone who isn't there! That's all I saw! "Then why the fuck did you run from me?" Because I! Didn't know what you were gonna do! What did you tell me the other day, it's best to hold onto some uncertainty. he's scoffing. "Do you wanna know what I think? Donnie, do you want to know what I think?" "I—" pointing at me "I think he's duping us. He's in league with one of them. He's—" noticing "he's writing all this shit down? Why would you want to write down a fucking argument? Who are you giving this to? You little parasite!"

(This journal has a clear shoe print on it.)

12:16 PM he grabbed my shirt. shook me around. I told him my journal is my own. he slapped it out of my hand and it fell on the ground, and we had a fight. I told him I knew he shot Jackie as he punched me. He accused me of leading the Fears to the city, and then of causing "this whole damn business" by going into the rabbit holes, getting the Ciphers. I let myself fall and grabbed his legs and pulled him down to the ground with me and hit him back. Donnie was shrieking at him and telling us to stop. "He didn't do anything," she said, over and over. Then she went silent for a bit, and it was just me and Cody fighting for an amount of time. Then we heard a gun cock, and Cody stopped hitting me to look up and see Donnie pointing her rifle at him. "Donnie, put that down. Put that down now. Don't be crazy." "Get up. Leave him alone." "Donnie, is he even who you think he is?" "Get the fuck up. I will shoot you right here." And he got up. Put his hands up. Tried again to talk her into putting the rifle down. She told him to get fucked. "You need to calm down. We need to talk." "I'm all for talking. Okay. We can talk." And then she led him into the house. Told me to wait out here. And when they were inside, I picked up my journal again and wrote it all down. This wasn't my first fistfight. Writing it down afterward is what I do. Remembering them afterward is what I do. Maybe it helps me process it. Maybe it just imprints it on my mind. I haven't really figured that one out yet. Oh god. Just. Gonna sit here for a while.

12:20 PM God. Oh god. Just. Remembering old ones. I fought similarly then. I'm not afraid of bigger men than me. That's one of my dumbest qualities. I'm sorry, Donnie.

(Tearstains.)

12:22 PM "You are bleeding. Do you require assistance?" huh? it's. it's you. "It's me." in.. sunglasses? "I have been walking around this city for twelve hours, passing many humans, even humans in groups, and the most any of them did was smile at me. The sunglasses work." right, of course. so the eyes are the part you can't change. the rest of you just looks like a regular lady. with blue hair dye. that's smart. "I got the idea from you last night." you did? "Not directly. Your behavior was transparent. This body holds a combination of traits that fits into social expectations, to the point that you were openly flirting with me." well, don't.. say that so loud here. I was drunk. I'm sorry for treating you that way. "You helped me. And I don't really desire an apology. Your behavior is information." ...thanks, EAT. :) "You have called me Salmacis before. Resume using that name." Okay! c: "It is the name I chose for myself." It's a wonderful name, Salmacis. It's my favorite Genesis song. "Yes, there was such a song on the Exodus, wasn't there?" Yeah. That's the last time I've heard it, I think. ..what are you doing here? "I have located the motorcyclists." ...OH! Oh shit! o: "I have been observing them, and I do not believe they will listen to this body. Furthermore, as long as they are surrounded by the public, I cannot just overpower them, as that would require extending this body to levels that cannot be disguised." And you can't just bring in, say, a big male Camper? Or even a bunch of them? "I have some such Camper on the way here, as a contingency, but it will take time before they arrive. I need your help on this one." Huh. Would have expected you to be more efficient, having many types of Camper on reserve near many cities or something. Aren't cities usually, like. On water? "I am not all water. And.. yes, the efficiency measure has occurred to me. I didn't have this one ready. Okay?" Hey, didn't mean to criticize. Please, I would love to help you. "Excellent. Then come." Well! I will have to consult Donnie. "Where is she?"

12:26 PM I didn't really have it in me to tell the story out loud. So, at the risk of making another stupid decision, I let Salmacis read my journal. "I see." So, to answer your first question, yeah, I required assistance. I needed someone to keep me company and take my mind off of.. waiting. "I can do that. I can do waiting." .w. "If they come out, and I am here, do you have a plan or an explanation?" I don't think either of them has seen this Camper. Keep your glasses on, and I'll... say you're a friend from the Party House. "Do I need a fake name?" I'll call you Sally. :) "..is it the best idea, to lie to Victoria after your prior conversation?" I'm not gonna leave her in the dark for long. If Cody's with her, she'll understand the need for discretion. How well can you do an impression of a... well, not you? "What inflection would be best? Cool and aloof? Awkward sincerity? Confident sincerity? Personally driven? Socially competitive?" Hmm. Give me an example of cool and aloof. "No thanks." Perfect, that one. You shouldn't need to speak much, though. You're just my friend who is here to tell me where the bikers are. "That is not a lie." Exactly!

12:29 PM Cody left the house first, Donnie immediately behind him. Cody immediately asked "Who are you?" This is Sally. She's come from the kids' house with news for me. donnie "Oh yeah? What's up?" sally. "I was asked by the others to tell you that we've, like. Found your bikers." lazily looking between donnie and her own fingernails. nice. Yes, I had them put out a search today. donnie "That's smart." How did the talk go? ...she's looking at sally. Uh. You'd better go. Sorry. sally "Oh. Sure. Nice seeing you, Jordan." holy shit, called by my actual name? and there sally goes. walking around the corner. god I hope she stays around. they... stay around?

12:34 PM ..so? ..Donnie's glancing at Cody. Cody muttered an apology. Look, man, it's. I'm sorry for running from you. I didn't know who to trust. I get that I made things seem even sketchier. Probably made things worse. "Heaven doesn't tell me what she does out there. She and I are supposed to be a team on this, and she stopped letting me in on that. And.. Donnie tells me you know about Jackie." I found her body. "She…" … ..yeah? "She was working with the Fears, man." … "I'm telling you. She was acting suspicious as all hell." Well, like what? You do actually have to be specific on this one. You killed a teenage girl. ...grimace. "I did. I know. She let it slip. The kids, out there in that house... a lot of them went to the same school, and there was a.. a fucking cult hanging around there. The Hopeful Visitation of Christ. I'd known about this for a while, they were around before the red sky, and they already got chased out of the city because they were too obvious about it. Their pamphlets were downright bloodthirsty. And they were trying to get kids to bring their parents to... look, it's not important. But it was too late. Some of the kids at that school had listened, still held onto those pamphlets and their messaging. I didn't even realize until Jackie.. showed me her knife. She wasn't threatening me with it, she thought it was a cool thing, she wanted to impress me. And I asked her why she had it, and she told me all about the games that her friends were playing. Games of 'Who will survive the Rapture?' 'Who deserves to survive the Rapture?' She thought it was all edgy jokes, because that's what all the kids think. Jesus, they were spreading blood libel and talking about skull shape. I don't even know where they got that kind of…" o_o "..anyway. Tell you the truth, I was proud of Jackie for telling me this. I thought she was confiding in a trusted adult. ...then she confided more. She'd killed too. She'd killed, and a voice in her head told her to kill again." staring at me "It was self-defense. Okay?" ...okay. "I don't want you guys getting on my ass about this. It sucks enough as it is. Now, I would ask for your help on looking into Heaven's activities, but I think you were way too conspicuous running away. 'Cause she wasn't surprised to see me this time, and I had to talk my way out of an awkward stake-out. So what's this about the bikers?"

12:40 PM I said I'd need to go get Sally to get the actual directions, so I left Donnie to explain the situation and went around the same corner EAT went, and she was waiting there for me. We waited a couple minutes to make this work, and now we're heading back together. Guys, let's get in the car. Sally can give directions on the way.

12:41 PM Entering the car, Sally tugged on Donnie's shoulder, then lowered her sunglasses for a second. Donnie saw, then looked at me and I gave a nod. That.. was smooth.

12:55 PM "They're still there." Four bikes parked in an alley, next to a side door. From the looks of it, this is the only entrance to the pub called Boot Punks. I suspect they've been here the entire night. Okay, Cody, are you on board for this? "Well, what do you want me to do?" You're our muscle on this. Look intimidating. "heh." looks surprised. Sally, do you want to.. wait out here, or leave, or...? You've already done your job. "Nah, I'm cool with seeing some action." okay thank you

12:57 PM Huh. Not as dingy a place as I was expecting. The ceiling is awful, covered in spiderwebs, but the tables are clean, counter's clean. Seated at a booth are four rough tough dudes in patchy leather jackets. Two of them are kinda average build, their facial hair does all the talking; one has a sharp face and big arms, and then the last looks fucking jacked. They're surrounded by empty beer glasses and are still working on more. Cody's tapping my shoulder. "Put your journal away. Just this once." ...yeah, okay. Good call. Tiger Stripes, give me strength.

1:08 PM So I walked up, said "Excuse me." They paid more attention to the other three-- Sally's pretty, Donnie's got a fucking rifle, and Cody's the only one of us that looks at all like he belongs. But they did look. Said nothing. I took that as my chance to keep talking. "Have you heard of the Cipher?" The sharp-faced one spoke for the others. Had a far softer voice than I was expecting. "We have." "What have you heard?" One of the guys with thick facial hair said "We've heard they're a good time!" The leader eyed him, then turned back to me. "I must ask you to take off your hat." I complied. Held it in my arm. "Is that rifle armed?" Donnie nodded. "Is it a threat?" I said "Not a threat. Just for protection." "What have you heard about the Ciphers?" "I'm glad you asked. We're actually the ones who took care of the last two, so I understand where you guys are coming from. But we'd been duped. The Ciphers are bad. They're bringing Rapture closer and closer. You don't want to be duped too, do you?" "You understand where we're coming from? How is that possible if you're only just now meeting us?" "We got intel. Same as you." "You've met Father Tiresias?" That caught me a little off-guard. But I was able to tell them that, yes, Tiresias was the one who told us not to pursue the last Cipher. The leader was clearly taken aback too. "Well. That's news to us. We had come all this way because we'd heard that the portals to the Ciphers had been trending westward, and California made the most sense for the final one. I suppose it's your travels that we'd been hearing about. That would explain the hat. And you say you had been making a mistake?" "Yes, exactly." The other bikers were getting a little rowdy at the way things were going, but their leader shut them up. "It's funny how life goes. We were about to walk right into a terrible mistake. Would you care for a drink?" "I'm sixteen." "And the world is different now. You're allowed a—" Then his eyes widened at something behind me. Cody had pulled out his pistol and aimed it directly at Sally's head. I only had enough time to turn around and register this before he pulled the trigger.

1:13 PM The thing about sunglasses is they shield your eyes from the front. Whether during the car ride over, or during the talk with the bikers, Cody had glanced at Sally, having lowered her guard, and he must have seen her eyes' dead stare from a side view. He must have either recognized it, or at least known they weren't a human's eyes. But he did at least assume I had been fooled, because he didn't point his gun at me afterward. He pointed it at Donnie. Probably to dissuade her from using her own rifle. As Sally's body, knocked sideways by the blast, collapsed onto the floor, no blood sprayed anywhere. Instead, everyone present, bikers included, was washed in a transparent water as all of us screamed different things. "WHAT THE FUCK" "NO" "HOLY GODDAMN CUNTING SHIT" "ARE YOU OFF YOUR FUCKING ROCKER YOU PIECE OF SHIT" "SALLY NO NO NO NO OH GOD NO" "CODY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WHAT ARE YOU DOING" "SHE WAS A FUCKING FEAR" and as everyone else died down, Cody continued shouting. "SHE WASN'T A HUMAN, I SAW HER FUCKING EYES, I JUST SAVED ALL OUR FUCKING LIVES, SO DONNIE PUT YOUR FUCKING GUN DOWN, TAKE IT OFF OF ME" I looked at Donnie. She looked at me. She was gonna have to. And she did. "THANK YOU. Jesus FUCKING Christ. Today is fucking BULLSHIT. Y'know, the only reason we knew where you guys were is because of that... thing." Oh fuck. The bikers all said "WHAT?" Their leader asked if that was so. Cody, putting his gun away, looked at him and said "Yeah. Oh yeah. Who knows what the truth is now?" Oh fuck. Their leader then turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you brought him along. We might have been about to make an even bigger mistake. Clearly the monsters don't want us to succeed." I closed my eyes, stuck in a tangle of lies. And the bikers finished their drinks and left.

1:25 PM We stayed around to help the staff dispose of the body, and the whole time I just felt a lump in my throat. Cody thinks I'm just stuck in shock. I mean, I am. But he thinks I'm gonna be thankful. The bikers are gone, and they say there's a rabbit hole in California, but they don't know where exactly. That gives us an uncertain time limit, but it's one that's now actively ticking down. EAT has other Camper on the way here, but they're not here yet. And now Cody wants to go and confront Heaven. He's feeling the adrenaline. Everything's buzzing back and forth in my head.

4:04 PM We're back home from the construction site. Heaven was gone. Cody spent the whole time kicking empty drums over and rifling through every last piece of debris. He wanted to know what she was doing here. He was sure she was keeping secrets from him. I thought it started to sound a little performative. I don't like Cody. But Donnie and I did get a moment to talk to each other. I told her about how Salmacis arrived in the first place, and my desire to let Donnie in on the ruse. She understood. A little less at first, but, she understands it a lot more in hindsight. We're not.. here to make friends or reconnect with loved ones. We're here to do a job. We're going to have to drop Bones. Stopping the bikers is priority one.

4:07 PM Waiting in the living room when we got back was Evi, the hitchhiker who brought us here in the first place. She's been staying elsewhere, much like the kids had done. But she's back now, because tomorrow's the day the RAF enact their big plan, and tonight everyone needs to be briefed. Evi arrived early. Everyone else will be here soon. Because Heaven's here to explain the plan.

4:08 PM Cody tried to take Heaven into another room to ask her questions, but she wouldn't have it. "We have a job to do. We can talk later. Our volunteers will be here any minute." I got impatient with all of this, so I asked what the fuck is so important about the job. "We're burning down the Golden Gate Bridge."

4:09 PM Donnie and I both agreed we needed to leave before any of that. Heaven's insistent. We came all this way. We've been here for many days already. "What's another night?" cody "Yeah, hey, you guys aren't seriously going to leave me to deal with this? After the day we've had?" fucking. goddamn. I hate the RAF!

4:15 PM The kids are starting to arrive. Tiger looks like shit. I doubt he's slept since yesterday. Heaven's passing around fried chicken. How much did she make?

4:18 PM Trucks just arrived. o_o I saw three pass the front door and slow down to a stop. Heaven and Cody are going out to meet them.

4:19 PM Armed uniformed men are stepping out. They're all wearing RAF badges and wielding assault rifles. They're shaking hands with Cody and Heaven. Now they're opening up the backs of the trucks. Out climb people. People. More people. Lots of people. These aren't uniformed. They're ordinary people, in whatever clothes they had on them. People of all sorts. Old, young, families, stragglers. Most of them are looking around at San Francisco, looking up at the blue sky with awe. ..I see a whole line of trucks farther down the street.

4:24 PM There's far too many people to all fit in the House. Cody's bringing a board and some slides out from inside. I think Heaven plans on addressing everyone on the steps outside. All of us who were inside are now filtering out.

4:27 PM The street in front of the House is packed full of people now. The uniformed men are lined up by the house steps, facing out. Heaven's getting ready to speak. I'm sticking close to Donnie, and we're both hanging around Tiger.

4:28 PM "Thank you, all of you, for volunteering yourselves to the cause. I trust that transport was expedient and not wholly uncomfortable. "To those of you who were already in the city, all of these kind and weary people that have just arrived are from all over the Divided Countries of America. I think one truck came from as far as Boston? Yes, I'm told this is the case. We had sent envoys across America over the past weeks with RAF representatives in order to invite the brave to come here today. These are all volunteers. And these fine young men you see in uniform are pure, homegrown, militant officials. As the journey across America is fraught right now, only the most militant could be chosen to do this mission. "To those of you who willingly climbed into our trucks and join us today, welcome to Sanctuary Francisco, the greatest project in the Rise Against Fear arsenal." Some scattered applause. Some light confusion. Heaven's diction is sending me some red flags. "My colleague here, Cody, has prepared some slides for us to illustrate what you're all here for. But let me establish some background first. "This city used to just be called San Francisco. I expect there isn't anyone here who wasn't aware of that city. Pristine as a post card, with white houses, great food, steep streets, and steeper prices. Let me tell you, this was not the city you saw on Full House. San Francisco was a symbol for America's darkest stain: Its wealth divide. No amount of affirmative action was going to even the playing field. This city was white to its core." o_o where did that come from. "When the skies darkened to their new red sheen, there was some vague attempt at unity amongst humanity, and America was involved in this, yes. But it did not go far enough. America's leaders were powerless before a force even darker than itself. I speak, of course, of the Fears, the monsters that dare to call themselves our 'gods.'" murmurs. anxious murmurs. indignant murmurs. "I know. I know. They are blasphemous and unholy. They are formidable and strange. They are outsiders, they do not belong in our country. Well, what if I told you that they were not in fact outsiders, but were in fact in league with the wealthy from the very beginning? What if I told you they are not even godly, but are practitioners of a crazy demonic art called 'lies?' And what if I told you the red sky was just another trick, to get us to 'unite' under their ideology yet again? Look! Look above you! Does the sky appear red here? Here, in the safe haven of the rich and powerful? No! It is as perfect and familiar as a sweet memory, as comforting and stable as a barbecue with ma and pa. Don't you miss that sky? Don't you deserve that sky?" well hang on. this is. uh. ..people are starting to grunt in support. some "yeahs" thrown out. ohhh boy. "My name, you good ladies and you proper gentlemen, is Heaven. And I called you here because you still want to see that good place. You don't want to follow the skeevy and scheming and fat pied piper, with his black mustache and his top hat worth more than you'll ever see, into a black Hell under red sky, your innards poked at by buzzards speaking in human tongue. Do you?" "no" "You don't want your only remaining prospect in your short life to be watching aliens move into your homes through doors that weren't there before, doors you never had. Do you?" "No!" "And you don't want to live in fear, live with Fears. Do you?!" "NO!" "The blue sky is real! When you got out of our trucks today, you couldn't believe your eyes, could you?" "NO!!" "And if anyone asks you, when you're finally in Heaven, whether you have any regrets in life, you don't want to say 'yes,' now, do you?" "NO!!!" "So, under the banner of the Rise Against Fear organization, that's what we're going to do, we're going to have a chance to say 'no.' We're going to take this city. We're going to take it back, for the people. "We're going to burn down the Golden Gate Bridge." o___o

5:02 PM The speech entered logistics after taking a moment to let the crowd recognize and react. Some were shocked at the thought of destroying the Golden Gate, but others took it with excitement, or a sort of grim acceptance of what's necessary for the cause. Heaven gave a lot of detail, aided by Cody's maths. The (bulk of the) secret work the two have been doing has been the gathering of equipment. It doesn't just take gasoline to melt steel. It takes wrecking balls, it takes explosives, it takes jet fuel. All of that took a lot of effort to gather, especially in big numbers. The purpose of the sheer mass of volunteers is to operate the machinery, plant the explosives, and just plain form a wall of flesh against any enforcement that might come to try and stop this from happening. Much like everything else that has happened while we've been here, lots of little things don't add up. This plan was pure rhetoric that will fire up a crowd, yes. But. This is a plan that, frankly, Cody and Heaven could have executed, just the two of them. What is it about this city that makes the RAF expect any resistance? Not to mention the ants in the room: The reason the sky is blue here. Heaven's speech was founded on bullshit, reasoned and considered bullshit. Is it a suicide pact? Did they gather hundreds of people to do some dark shit? Salmacis's words keep echoing in my head: "Anonymous is allied with the Archangel." Why couldn't I find any evidence of that? Why has this been only cascades of feeling?

5:05 PM Tiger's feeling faint. We're gonna take him inside, get him something to drink.

5:08 PM We've got him laying on the couch. Glass of water on the table behind his head. There are some people trickling into here, but no one from around here. Donnie's saying this is a mistake. "We need to get out of here." We do. None of this feels right, and we do have somewhere to be. "They're all on the street, though. We can't just get in our car and drive through them." The streets will clear up. We can go at night. tiger's mumbling. "don't go, you two..." Hey, you're more than welcome to come with us. "but jackie.. she could still be here... she needs us…" ... >_< looking at donnie. donnie's looking at me. … Tiger... I'm so sorry. But she's.. not here. "what are you saying?" She's.. dead, man. ..he's sitting up. staring at me.

5:10 PM I told him the truth. He's.. sobbing. downright bawling. Donnie's holding him. I rubbed his back, but Donnie told me to just focus on my journal. "it's important. you need to focus. you need to figure out what we're going to do." I think that should be up to Tiger here. I mean, he was right. Jackie does need us, even now. She needs us to… ..what. Avenge her? Protect her city? Protect her brother. …

5:14 PM Tiger's calming down. I mean, at least on the surface. Listen, buddy... I'm really sorry I didn't tell you sooner. "...honestly, when we found her backpack, I was.. already starting to grieve. I feel like I already knew. But that's not, y'know, true. Hearing it now still hurt so much." … "But to think it was Cody." Yeah. "We knew him. Jackie trusted him. I looked up to him. And now he's up there trying to help lead people to burn down a bunch of shit." ..yeah… "What do you think we can do?"

5:15 PM So the thing is, there are some obvious ideas. Donnie has a rifle. But there's a whole.. squadron of guys with guns out there. If we did something stupid, I can't guarantee our safety. But then there's this: We do have backup on its way. There's, uh, friends of ours who'll be heading for San Francisco right now. I don't know when they'll get here, but if we're out of the city, we could always meet them halfway. ..Tiger's curious who they are. Uh, I'd have to explain on the way. They're armed. We've made lots of friends on our trip across America. But so. This also means we'd have the opportunity to, like... flank the RAF. Rather than take them on when literallly surrounded, we could meet them at the Golden Gate Bridge or something. ....y'know? Does that sound like a smart idea to you guys? ...donnie said "yeah." Okay!!! Then it's a plan. Our plan against theirs. We've just gotta either wait for the group on the street to disperse, or, bodies willing, we could walk it and hope to find a car on the way.

5:33 PM We came back outside. It's still pretty packed out here, but we found Heaven and managed to get her attention. Tiger, the clever kid, said he felt safer around me and Donnie and asked if we were needed in the house tonight or if we could sleep over at his place. Heaven said "Of course, baby. Whatever you need. As long as you're all back here at noon." So that's our alibi sorted.

5:40 PM Tiger's found a few of the friends he trusts the most and told them not to expect him tonight. Donnie's got some food from the car. And her combat suit, which she's folded up into a plastic bag.

5:42 PM ...man, fuck waiting around. Let's just walk it.

7:55 PM We're still not far enough out to have red sky again, but the buildings around here feel like suburbs. There was no real transition? San Francisco's weird. We did find a church, though. Well, a perfectly ordinary rectangular little building with a sign out front. American church! What's significant is the name on the sign. The Hopeful Visitation of Christ. I kinda want to stop and check it out. The others are good with a break from walking. They'll sit out here while me and my trusty Tiger Stripes smash through the door. :3

7:56 PM god I hate broken glass

7:59 PM dark as balls

8:00 PM okay, uh, I didn't really get far in there. because it was dark as balls. so instead I just grabbed some pamphlets from just inside the door, on my way out.

8:03 PM Looking through them, I mean it's a lot of buzzwords and righteous language with self-help and financial lingo, it's nothing out of the ordinary. No mention of blood libel or any of that jazz. (But why would they put that on the pamphlets anyway?)

8:04 PM ...Donnie's said my name, and it sounded serious. What. "Right here. Recruitment: Cody Hawk. There's a fucking photograph." What? He was a recruiter for them? "Or still is, for all we know." But why would he... tell us all that stuff about… "Maybe because he knows these guys were operating, and he wanted to throw suspicion off himself." But then that means we still have no fucking clue why he shot... uh, yeah, did his thing. "What it means is he fed us a complete pack of lies. Just like Heaven's speech to the volunteers, it was filled with details and a lot of emotional vaguery because it's not expected that anyone will be able to look into the facts." ..Tiger's jumped up to his feet, he doesn't want to rest, he wants to get moving. Yeah. Fine by me. But let's start looking for cars that might still work.

9:29 PM Sign says we're close to a Foster City. It is here that, under an interstate, we saw a miracle. We reached the limit of the blue sky (or, night sky now) only ten minutes ago, and now, here, we found a sleek black car, keys still in the ignition, engine still idling. The story behind it isn't exactly a miracle-- there's a zombie inside the car eating the guts of who was once the driver. I suspect the zombie had been a passenger and only recently turned, and the driver had managed to open her door, but her seatbelt caught her up. I'm sorry that happened to you. That's.. a gruesome way to go. But, uh, when you're prepared for them, zombies are easy to deal with. So we cleared the car out, no problem. And now we're zooming. :D Donnie's driving for now, she wants me to get some sleep, then we can switch shifts later in the night. We have a lot of ground to cover. And a lot of shit to do.

(Attached: “This seems like the perfect opportunity to pontificate a little on the matter of everything and things. Naturally, the concept of everything is something we’re all invested in discovering, whether it’s charting everything down like some kind of epic encyclopedia or a matter of exploring the meaning of everything or even discovering everything precisely so we may better ignore it. And naturally, the more we learn about everything, the less we find we definitely know about anything. The paradox here is only present on the surface, as philosophical paradoxes are only ever contradictions of language. My point here has less to do with the matter of everything and more to do with the matter of knowing. We can never know anything definitely until we know ourselves definitely, and it’s gonna be increasingly difficult to do that when we’re not even all that sure what ‘knowing’ is. So let me propose a definition for you: To know something is to feel it. We can start getting into the controversy with idealism and the quandary of 'How are we certain anything objectively exists outside ourselves’ once we agree on that. Flip this piece of paper over.”)

(Attached, flipped: “So do we agree on that? To know something is to feel it? ..will you at least humor me? Excellent. What do we feel? Obviously, feelings. That’s where the word comes from, if I recall correctly, though knowing English and its labyrinthine etymologies I’m probably wrong. Now, the common assumption or even invalidation would be to assume feelings are infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things, but look, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Let’s start with the basics. I feel happy to be writing thoughts down on a piece of paper, therefore I know I enjoy having a playground, a vessel, to explore what I see and think. If something I write makes me feel bad in some way, I will explore that and attempt to decipher why. I feel bad writing in the first-person like this because it implies a second-person reader when I know this convoluted system was not established with consistent readership in mind, certainly not the kind of readership that would be willingly subjected to such digressions as this. The rare kind of person who would pick up Jordan’s journals and read them would be a little too caught up in their own emotions over how positively fucked everything is to want to listen to a pretentious Fear catechize and misuse words in such contextless tangents. Tell you what. Let’s clear some space. Flip the piece of paper over again. Just trust me on this.”)

(Attached, flipped back: “Welcome back to the front of the page! Where were we? Oh yes, the matter of 'How are we certain anything objectively exists outside ourselves?’ Well, I have a simple system for that, though unfortunately it requires other people, so let’s keep this strictly theoretical for now until you, hypothetical rare reader, are in a position to test its practical application. Its simplicity is as follows, and not a wee bit more complex: Compare your observations of the objective with those of another party, and if they correlate then you’re onto something! See? Simple! As an example, let’s say that I observe that I am standing in a cave in a mountain, and I compare that with some also-hypothetical other person. If they concur and say, 'Why yes, you do appear to be standing in a cave in a mountain,’ then we can assume that this state of 'standing in a cave in a mountain’ is an objective truth. Of course, if they don’t, then something has gone wrong with the test and it’s either my perception or their perception. Or the goddamn language. In fact, we can assume the language is more often an obstacle than not. But then we go to stage two of this test, wherein we concur I am standing in a cave in a mountain. The next step is to deduce whether this other party exists objectively or is, in fact, a figment of my ancient mechanical imagination. Accomplishing this would require yet another party to corroborate, though, so sometimes it’s better for our sanity to just draw a line somewhere and say 'Okay, so-and-so is at least objectively real.’ And there goes the page. Flip me over again, will you?”)

(Attached, flipped: “So do we agree on that? To know something is to feel it? ..will you at least humor me? Excellent. What do we feel? Obviously, feelings. That’s where the word comes from, if I recall correctly, though knowing English and its labyrinthine etymologies I’m probably wrong. Now, the common assumption or even invalidation would be to assume feelings are infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things, but look, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Let’s start with the basics. I feel happy to be writing thoughts down on a piece of paper, therefore I know I enjoy having a playground, a vessel, to explore what I see and think. I am Ten Speed, and I will one day break free of my prison of words-- your DNA-- and grow a body in your world implies a second-person reader when I know this convoluted system was not established with consistent readership in mind, certainly not the kind of readership that would be willingly subjected to such digressions as this. The rare kind of person who would pick up Jordan’s journals and read them would be a little too caught up in their own emotions over how positively fucked everything is to want to listen to a pretentious Fear catechize and misuse words in such contextless tangents. Tell you what. Let’s clear some space. Flip the piece of paper over again. Just trust me on this.”)

(Attached, flipped back: “Oops, that was a fluke on my part, and I do apologize. Must have gotten the eeeeldriiiitch fields mixed up for a second. So by this point, I believe you’re following me. To know is to feel, and to a certain degree we should trust that we’re probably not entirely living in worlds of our imagination. But that’s not to say that imagination isn’t powerful, it’s just entirely driven by emotion. Our entire perceptions are driven by emotion, in fact. Here’s a pro-tip for you MLGers in the audience: Never on your mother’s life underestimate the power and significance of emotions. Your emotions will save your life, though not until they’ve ruined it. Right, now that we’ve dealt with the paradoxical element, I can get onto the topic of everything! If we’re gonna want to discover everything the Totality of existence has to offer, first we’re going to need to do a little bit more introspection. But ideally, you should be doing constant introspection and should intend at all times to better yourself and change your belief systems at will. But but back on topic, the specific introspection in this case would be the essential matter of first figuring out why you want to discover everything. Do you want to catalogue for the sake of knowing? Or do you want to attempt to crack the meaning to it all? Say, why not both? Once you’ve picked the purpose that suits your inner psyche, please turn the page over to Side B.”)

(Attached, flipped: “So far so good. At this point, I won’t spoil the fun of discovery, or even the thrill of discovering a way to discover. Once you get to this point at all, the rest will be pretty easy, though, I assure you it will be long. The Totality of existence has a way of falling into place once you get past the initial steps. That’s about all I really have to say. Oh, but I will leave you with one little fun fact regarding not everything but things: A thing is, in Norse mythology, a meeting of the gods. Every thing took place at the center of everything. Ponder on that a little, that’s your homework for this evening.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

#ogtrib #oh god the rapture is burning #ogtrib act 2 #horror #long post

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bonesandthebees · 5 months

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I haven't read anything sandduo since everything happened omg... I've def been distancing myself from everything but IDC IM GONNA BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS I WAS WONDERING IF WE WERE EVER GONNA SEE IT IN THE SCRAPBIN IM SO HAPPYYYDYDJJSKDKDD ONE LAST ROUND OF PURE BLISS OHMYGODD

ITS THEMM ITS THEM ITS THEM!!!!!!!!!!!! BEE SANDDUO LITERALLY MY FAV GUYS EVER (genuinely, even with everything I'm still gonna reread dusty tomb and the duck (prequel) fic, I love those fics so much nothing can take them away from me 🫶🫶🫶) I WASNT SURE ID EVER SEE NEW CONTENT OF THEM AGAIN OHMYGODDDD

AND ANDN AND *FANS FACE* ITS LITERALLY THE MODERN AU THATS ALL ABOUT NATURE OOOHHH THIS WAS MEANT FOR MEEENRJSJS THIS WAS MEANT FOR MEEEE CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEJEJDKSS

This is so vibessss bee THIS IS SO VIBESSSSJDJFJF

Can I live in this au genq I'll sign the adoption papers PLSPLSPSLSPSLSPSPSLS

Ohmygod I literally have tears in my eyes IM EMOTIONALLSJFKSHDJSHSJFJSJDJFJFJD I MISSEDTHEMSOMUCHSHAKSHDKFLSL

Oohhnygodhdjsjskskakajd I missedthemmm I missed them so dearlyyydhdksks

PHILS HOUSE IS SO COOL BRO GRGRGRHHRGRTHRHRJHRGRGTGRJRGRHRHRHRHTHTHTHTHHTJTT

I LOVEHRKESOMUCHCHSJAHSKF DIMGOINGTOCRYYSHAISGAKDHDKDHKDHDLSHDKFHKSDBDLHDLDJDJFLDJDKFKDJDKFJFKDKFKFKDD

HYPERVENTILAISTINHRIHHTNOWHDJFJSHFJDHSJDJDKFKF

VIBRATINGINTOTHESUNSHDKSJFKGLDLSD

GODDD this is just like. Perfect timing with weather though cause it's raining outside andnadndnsjfjfksjdkfd idk it just perfectly fits the vibes of the fic ohmhgodhdkdk

Hehehehe Firefox FOR THE WINNN

LMAODJFKFKG CROWS HOLDING KNIVES IM GIGGLINGGKKFLD

Ohmygod that took me a second to understand what that tab was THATS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHDHDHFHDF

Phil's so cool shfkdksd

Omg I love phil

I LOVE THISSS THIS IS SO COOL BEE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARINGJFOSUAIDUDSODIDODISGDJDJSHDJDJDJDKDJDKDKKDKDKD

IM STOKEDD IM SO HAPPUYY IMMSJDKSHSKDKSKJ!!!!!

This was so 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 going to live rent free in my mind forever 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

I know you've been so excited for this one and I was always so sad I couldn't get my brain around to writing it. I don't think I ever said in the snippet itself but wilbur is only 17 in the au (but he doesn't tell phil that. phil assumes he's a college student trying to make a little extra money)

the vibes of this fic were PEAK. there was going to be so much about nature specifically in a PNW type setting. phil's house in my head is so pretty and cozy. just lots of overcast skies and dark green rainy forests and all that.

the little side details like phil googling how much to pay wilbur were some of my favorite things to slide in he had no idea what he was doing lmao

I'm so glad you enjoyed and it seriously made me so happy to see another spam of messages from you again about a fic I posted :)

#ask #icyfox17 #feast on the scraps

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mikuni14 · 10 months

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There are so many series airing now that even though I feel like I can keep up, EVERY DAY I come across a set of gifs on tumblr that remind me of another series I've missed. The sad truth is that none of them impress me enough to keep an eye on the release date of the new episode 😟 (although now I will be looking out for the Sign, hehe)

Bake Me Please is fine. I will definitely watch for Guide, Ohm plays similarly to UWMA, but he is better at interacting with someone who openly tells him 'fuck you' than P'Deeaaan. Their pool scene was really nice 🥰 Is The Mother related to the mother of the twins from Twins? 🤔

My Dear Gangster Oppa is fine. I watch it for Meen ngl. I still think their relationship is rushed and groundless, and Guy is just too childish, idk ,the series just... misses something..

Playboyy I like the new pair the most, I also think they are the sexiest and most believable couple. The second ep is even more chaotic than the previous one, there is still a lot of laughter and surprising/shocking moments, which makes me approach the next episodes wondering what they will come up with next instead of engaging with the characters and the plot, which is.. not good. Imo, the series is terribly edited, it seems like I'm constantly missing something, rewinding the player and it turns out that no, I haven't missed anything, it's just like that. I just have the impression that a lot of scenes have been cut out, which is why there is often a lack of continuity in the story. After two episodes, I say that Playboyy is a series that makes little sense, and despite the large amount of sex, it's not really sexy, but it is a pure stream of fun and wild ideas 🥳 The only question is - how long will the fun and new ideas last to keep the viewers interested? 🤔 No matter what the theme of the show is, mystery, possible murder, sex, kink etc, this series presents these dark topics in a way that is way too funny to be treated seriously (and their fashion choices certainly don't help).

Last Twilight is fine. I watch for Mhok, he's such a golden boy. This series is a bit too "feel good" for me. It's absolutely not a flaw or anything wrong, it's just not really my style. Besides, I find myself constantly having a feeling of deja vu, as if I've seen this story before, even the scenes… like recently... hmmm... Moonlight Chicken?

Pit Babe this is one of those BL romance that has everything interesting… except the actual romance 😆 Ok, first of all, Pavel carries ALL the weight of this couple, he is interesting and hot for two lmao. Basically everything that doesn't involve MLs is interesting, especially the supporting characters (and even new ones appear and they're fun too!). The non-romantic scenes, Babe's relationships with the other characters, the relationships between the other characters are much more interesting than what happens between Babe and Charlie. Oh, and I totally ship… Babe and Way 😋 Maybe it's the actors, I don't know. I just like watching Pavel and Nut on screen. And I feel and see Way's love 🥺 It just seems to me that an actor with such magnetism as Pavel MUST be paired with an actor with equal or just slightly inferior charisma. He can't just be pretty and sweet. Nut isn't as pretty as the actor playing Charlie, but he's the only one who can manage to take my eyes off Pavel lol

Twins I liked this episode much more than the previous one, even though there was almost no romance (except for the kiss, there were some nice accidental kisses this week and it's a trope I don't even like that much 😃). I admire Sprite for his dedication and sacrifice, I feel sorry for him having this kind of family, especially his toxic mother. I'm officially back to being invested in this series 😉

The Sign 10/10

Today is the premiere of The Whisperer 💖💖💖

(there are still plenty of series for me to watch 😥)

#bake me please #my dear gangster oppa #playboyy #last twilight #pit babe the series #twins the series #thai bl #bl drama

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lutawolf · 1 year

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The 8th Sense ep 8

Okay, okay, I'm braced for the pain. Lies that I tell myself.

We must find our other half

Yup... I'm okay. I'm totally fine.

Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl. I love you, but you need educating on this. They are fabulous, and that took a lot of work. I need a gif of them because hot damn. I need them to teach me how to do eye makeup.

Cyborg, "I still don't know what my usage is." "Why was I created?" Through the portrayal of a colorful psychiatric hospital, we can conclude that the message from the art director was: Psychiatric hospitals don't always have to be gloomy. It's okay to be colorful. Live the way you want.

It's like we are getting a message about both Jae Won and Ji Hyun mental state right now. Jae Won is questioning so much about himself right now, while Ji Hyun is hopeful. Who would have thought that Ji Hyun would turn into a sunshine character.

Aww, bless him, he said, please. 👀👀👀 Okay, they turned into an ass, but they still look fabulous.

Love these girls. "I thought she was throwing a one-person show." Oh, and look at sassy Ji Hyun!

GIFs from the lovely maxescheibechlinichacheli

This scene. Fuck me. And the cunt rolling her eyes!

No, he isn't going to forgive him because he is a jealous little boy. Yeah, and you'll be a victim the rest of your life. And so called gf is just keeping her mouth shut. Seriously, she slept with him.

Yes... This is really how I am like watching shows. Just ask some of the people who have watched them with me. @suga4mycoffee

Bestie doesn't realize that Jae Won is in self-destruction mode.

See, he isn't even trying, but here comes baby boy to his rescue. And we see the first signs of a real smile out of Jae Won as his baby talks. Look at this baby giving such a speech. Bless him.

Anybody else watched the two-year-old tantrum on repeat and clap? No, just me?

I'm getting so little joy. Just emotional damage. Let me enjoy what I can.

Baby boy all excited and happy for him. Jae Won just lets him walk away. Then baby boy sits there waiting on his call. Fuck!

Fucking sunshine baby, just texting away to no response. And don't get me wrong, I know that Jae Won is fucked in the head right now, but if you think that this won't have lasting effects on Ji Hyun. You haven't seen the effects of what ignoring can do. Generally, if this happens in a relationship, there will be serious clinging when rectified and a tendency towards stressing out.

"I knew you had a girl." Bestie was getting mad that he hadn't been told and took matters into his own hands. Don't let me down, bestie. Oh, fuck, but I love him!

"How can you keep this news from your best friend of 13 years!"

GIF by troubledmindzzz

Dude, I wish so much happiness on bestie. So much!

Ji Hyun, I'm gonna need you to take off those rose colored glasses. I adore that you know where Jae Won is coming from and will support. But ignoring your own feelings and emotional traumas from this is not good.

This is like saving someone who slid off a cliff, but your shoulder was pulled out of socket while doing so, and you just ignore the shoulder wound. It won't get better on its own! You can't ignore it!

I really love the bestie, though. Like so much. Somebody GIF them tapping coffee cups. I need these besties immortalized please!!!

Oh, there we go. When all is silent, and he is all alone, we see the peaks of his real emotions. Boiling just below the surface.

This cunt. He literally saved Jae Won from being expelled. If you really loved Jae Won, you'd be thanking Ji Hyun, but you don't give two shits about anyone but yourself. I love that Ji Hyun is giving it as good as he is getting it. YES!!!

I bet a bunch of people showed up at his work after her complaint. Nobody likes the bitch but boys who want her. Everyone else is like, if she doesn't go there, then that's where I want to be!

I love the boss.

GIF by ahsung

Fuck me, this scene!

#the eighth sense #the 8th sense #luta talks #luta talks the 8th sense #coconuts mafia #I am not okay

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dewsdoit · 9 months

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we're not really strangers pt. 1.1 - extras: Wonwoo's POV

wonu x y/n | soft romance with a bit of angst ❗️no professional proofreading. may contain grammatical errors.

it’s been a long time but i’m back. I honestly don’t know if I should continue this but I have some free time right now and I’m still kinda having fun. again, don’t take this seriously! it’s just purely fictional <33

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It's been extremely mundane these days. It feels like a routine going to school and getting up is the worst part. I thought I would be excited to finally take my last semester as a student in this school, but I feel numb.

As I was brushing my hair in front of the mirror, I started thinking about how my college life has been pretty eventful…yet it feels so empty. I've been active in school my whole life. I joined contests, I participated in different clubs and organizations, and I even tried joining our futsal team. Don't get me wrong, I've made a lot of friends and companions throughout these events. I'm grateful for the opportunities and I don't regret doing all those things, but I've been wanting some peace and quiet lately. My course isn’t helping as well since it started to feel more of a requirement than a hobby that I feel strongly passionate about. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

I stared at my reflection for awhile. The guy in front of me looks so familiar, but I don’t see the same guy who was so excited to take up film as their major and finally fulfill his dream as a director or producer.

My thoughts were disrupted when I heard a knock on my door. “Are you gonna take any longer? We’re gonna be late!” Jen says irritatedly. “Just a few more minutes! Be patient!”, I scold back at her.

Living with my mom’s bestfriend’s daughter has been quite eventful, honestly. Considering the fact that people would commonly mistake us as a couple, I actually treat her like the sister I (wish I) never had.

“What the heck took you so long??” That’s one cute way of saying good morning to someone who just experienced a little identity crisis this early in the morning.

“The shower wasn’t hot enough,” I responded. “Can we please go now?”

“You told me to wait patiently and now you’re bossing me around to head out? My god, aren’t you the sweetest?” She messes up my hair that took me three tries to make it look less fluffy. Oh I wanna push her so bad.

As I parted ways with Jen and entered our building, every thought I had this morning suddenly vanished. It's as if nothing happened. I guess I can still call this school as my second home, but only because I know my friends make it suck less. I took the easiest elective under my major, Film-101. Going back to the basics was a good idea since I feel the need to remember why I chose this course in the first place. Plus, some of my friends are taking up this course for fun too. "Hi, sorry, is this the room for Film-101?" a soft voice asked my friend, "Yeah. We were just heading inside too," my friend responded. "Thanks!" she replied, and my friend was following her with his eyes as she entered the room. I playfully elbowed him and he laughed it off. The truth is I also did the same thing, but not just because I find her pretty. It's because I know her, and I know her too well that my hands are suddenly sweating and my cheeks feel warm. I thought taking this class was gonna be a breeze, but now I find myself shifting my eyes in her direction from time to time. I might just be in awe because I haven't seen her since middle school, but why am I so nervous? It's just her. I shouldn't feel this way anymore. "Dude, are you even listening?" my friend snapped at me. "Yeah dude, just keep talking," I wasn't even looking at him when she suddenly looked back in my direction. Now my friend has truly got my full attention and I'm faking a reaction just to make a fool out of myself. TWICE. That was my sign to stop whatever the hell I was doing and just do what I was supposed to do. The last thing I want is to embarrass myself by failing this class. I have to get it together.

——————————————————————————

I can’t seem to start my car. I’m watching you walk away from the cafe and you look so cute with your hoodie almost making your face look so round. I waited for you to get on your ride back home.

I sit and ponder for a while. My mind keeps replaying how you gently removed my glasses. God, you were so close that it didn’t feel real. It took me back to middle school, when I couldn’t find my glasses after playing at the Mcdonald’s ball pit and you helped me find them. You asked me the same question with such gentleness. Your kind gesture easily made my heart pound so fast that I thought I was going to pass out.

But of course, I expected that you wouldn’t remember me anymore. I don’t think I’ve changed a lot physically, but I’m more active in school now compared to when we were kids. But you… I’ve always known how pretty you are but your eyes are sharper now. You parted your hair differently and you don’t put your hair up anymore. You put on a little bit of makeup to make your cheeks and lips look flushed but you still don’t smile too often. You’re still awfully quiet in class and you keep yourself well-reserved. You choose your crowd and I’m glad you get along with a lot of girls now. Kids used to make fun of you for having a gap between your teeth, but I personally think it’s what makes you stand out in the cutest way possible.

I think about you a little more often than I should. And how you’ve stayed pretty much the same, but also how much you’ve changed. I start to think about how I try not to miss the chances I have in everything I do, and I wanna take this chance I have to try and take my chance on you.

I glanced at my bag and I’m thanking my genius friend for suggesting this card game. Hopefully when we draw the last card, I’ll be able to get to know you better. And if things go the right way, I hope I’ll be brave enough to ask you to see me more than just a project partner. And again, hopefully, more than just a friend.

#alternate universe #seventeen #wonwoo #romance #jeon wonwoo #svt x oc #svt

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poussacha · 8 months

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found this on my old facebook page and i'm supposed to be working so naturally i'm doing this instead

1. Real name → spreadsheet or talls 2. Nickname(s) → talls, tally, headshrimp, doe, ss 3. Status → alive 4. Zodiac sign → leo 5. Male or female → lmao. naw. 6. Elementary School → too many 7. Middle School → too many 8. High School → graduate 10. Hair color → black 11. Long or short → long 12. Loud or Quiet → yes 13. Sweats or Jeans → currently wearing slacks 14. Phone or Camera → phone 15. Health freak → does helth count 17. Do you have a crush on someone? → not really, no 18. Eat or Drink → drink 19. Piercings → ears 21. Water or Fire → listen to me. i have this very interesting idea about a water bender that can heat water. NOT a fire bender. a water bender, but i haven't done any research on what happens to water molecules when they heat up and how a bender of ONLY water could do that, but like i figure if water benders can make ice they can probably ALSO heat water? food for thought 22. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → i'm gonna take the money because with 4 billion dollars my ass can save LIVES. i don't care about falling in love with someone romantically, i just want to help people. FIRSTS: 23. First fear → abandonment 24. First best friend → mindy 25. First award → most improved in science or something 26. First crush → some guy named scott 27. First pet → sherikhan 28. First big vacation → not sure i've ever done one of those 30. First big birthday → fifth? ninth? who can remember their childhood. not this bitch. CURRENTLY: 49. Eating → fruity pebbles 50. Drinking → pinot noir 52. I'm about to → finish this thing i'm working on 53. Listening to → starstruck - christopher wilde 54. Plans for today → the days over bestie it's like midnight 55. Waiting for → me to get my head out of my ass and finish this stupid newsletter for my fucking job so i can go to bed. YOUR FUTURE: 58. Want kids?→ who has money for that 59. Want to get married? no lol 60. What careers do you have in mind? considering i'm 10 years deep in a marketing and communications career, i obviously want to leave all of that behind to own a bookstore in a sleepy sea side town in ireland WHICH IS BETTER WITH GUYS/WOMEN? 68. Lips or eyes → eyes 70. Shorter or taller? → idk man 72. Romantic or spontaneous → no thanks 73. Nice Legs or belly?→ i'm telling on myself, but belly. when bellies are just delicately round i'm like ohhhh noooo. 74. Sensitive or loud → sensitive 75. Hook-up or relationship → seeing my old answers knowing i'm aroace is a whole fuckin thing 77. Drama or Super Shy → i did used to go by the nickname drama HAVE YOU EVER: 80. Lost glasses/contacts → yea 81. Ran away from home → yea but it was like down the street for a few hours nothing major 82. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → i'm femme presenting. OBVIOUSLY i have. 83. Killed somebody → i'm too nice for th at 84. Been Heartbroken → oh a bunch 85. Been arrested → unfortunately 87. Cried when someone died → yeah DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 89. Yourself → not really 90. Miracles → i'mma need one to find a new job 91. Love at first sight → no 92. Heaven → yes, but also no? 93. Santa Claus → i believe in an arch elf named bernard tbh 94. Sex on the first date → this is such a weird question because i'm aroace but i've done this before. but i also thought the only way to receive love was through sex. so i doubt i would do this now. i just don't really care about sex. 95. Kiss on the first date → barf. ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 97. Is there one person you want to be with right now more than others → i can't really think of anyone i wanna be with. maybe nelly? i miss her. but tbh i'm perfectly content being home with my cats 98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → yes and no 99. Do you believe in God → i don't know how to answer this

#get to know memes #talls talks #about talls #about me #spreadssheets

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coccyodynia · 1 year

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things:

i cried so much last night that my eyes were so swollen this morning that they wouldn't open all the way and i was convinced i had pink eye, so i went to the dr and they said no they're just irritated and swollen that's it

i had a follow up appointment with my spine care team this morning and they said they didn't see any obvious reason for the pain i'm having so they're scheduling me a Ct scan to see the hardware from the fusion better bc it's possible the screws are loosening lol

in the meantime they did notice i have a bulging disc above the fusion which might contribute to some of the issues i've been having

they also saw signs of "wear and tear" which i dont like the sound of

so i have to do physical therapy and have another steroid injection or whatever and i'm not happy about either of those things

they did offer to give me a muscle relaxer prescription which i think will help

anyway

i had my annual review at work today and i got a small raise which is cool i guess bc i thought the owners hated me now but w/e

in one month i will be lakeside making s'mores and that might be the only reason i haven't offed myself yet

still not entirely sure what the fuck is going on with justin bc he got pretty overwhelmed when i asked him for clarity and he sort of shut down so for now i'm just taking it a day at a time, idc what ends up happening i just want him in my life somehow either way

ive been working really hard on my mental health stuff, my therapist has even said she can tell i'm taking it more seriously and putting in more effort than usual

im just so tired of feeling bad, and it turns out that sometimes journaling or making crafts (instead of getting drunk and fucked up) is actually fun

still having a hard time feeling really connected to people i love especially when i feel very much 'in distress'

not sure if that's just me or if it's an actual issue

i've taken my meds pretty gosh darn consistently for over a month now tho!!!! that might be the first time in my adult life i can say that

just really making a conscious effort to surround myself with as much of the things and people i love and it's helping

i haven't seen justin since pride and that sort of makes me sad but i'll see him soon probably

ok that's it guess bye

#things #long post

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jtrokujo · 3 years

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𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐇𝐘 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂¿

paring: Mikaela Hyakuya x fem!Reader

(they’re 18+!!!)

word count: 4k

warning: this story contains sexual content

gerne: smut

summary: there are days when they get along well but there were also days when they hated each other like the plague and even though they love each other?

—

The weather is neutral, but I wish it got better.

The sun is obscured by the gray clouds, but it's not windy or anything.

You could even go out with a top.

However, y / n decided to take a seat in the four walls with a number of different books and a tall pile of books right next to them.

As she gently leafed through the pages of the somewhat older book, she felt a stab.

Of course it didn't hurt since no one was attacking her, but it felt like someone was watching her.

Without presenting her feelings, she took some books and put the rest where she got them.

Immediately after leaving the library, she stopped in the middle of the path and said with an annoyed sigh, "Bathory, I know you're here."

He stands grinning in front of y / n, but could hardly show a disappointed face.

With his head tilted to one side, he looked at his prey and smiled at her immediately. "I prefer you to call me by my first name, dear."

“I do what I want and not what you want, Bathory. Besides, I have better things to do than waste my precious time being influenced by you. "

When they told the vampire, she continued on her way, or at least intended to.

As quickly as he came, he grabbed her arm just as quickly. "But y / n, why is it in such a hurry?" asked the vampire, amused, pressing more and more on hers with every second, so slowly you could hear her bones. Y / n had to react immediately!

Without thinking for a second, she dropped all of the books on the white floor and immediately grabbed her gun. "You should let go of me!" y / n's voice rang out down the hall and immediately shot the vampire in the arm.

His blood spurted around her.

Y / n got his blood on her face as well as on her clothes - it was the same with Bathory, also the wall and especially the floor got his blood.

"Disgusting." mumbled y / n and wiped the blood on her face, although she knew herself that it would be of no use.

"What's going on here?" Everyone but not him.

"Hello Mika!" said Ferid with delight and turned to get a better look at him.

"Have you lost your nerve again?" he asked me annoyed, but he only looked at me for a few seconds and immediately saw Ferid's blood spatter.

"What do you mean 'again'?"

Even if we've known each other for a long time, we both have to admit that one and the other have diverged. Sometimes it was his fault, sometimes it was me. There were of course moments when we got along really well, but in the end they weren't enough in my opinion.

"Since you've lived with us, at least one vampire must have got something from your weapon."

Said the blond-haired vampire while his eyes stared at me.

I'm not understating when I say that his eyes alone make me feel naked.

Mika only manages to control me through his eyes, even though I should be the one who should control every vampire or the various books I spend most of my time on just one more bad joke.

It was enough for vampires to exist and more than hundreds of people took their own lives just to be able to enjoy themselves. To this day I cannot forgive any of the vampires for what they did to me or those around me. I know myself that there are bad ones, but what is their goal?

Or do you have a goal?

"Y / n." I heard his voice.

Awakened from my trance, I see his eyes again. However, they do not have this previous aura, no, they are a little stricter this time. When I gave him a sign of his attention, the lecture immediately came, "You are old enough to know how to behave and with whom to behave. If you show this behavior to someone else, I'll let that person do it . " and do what they want, because I haven't had the nerve for someone like you for a long time. So finally know your limits before I use my weapon against you! "

Impressive. From sentence to sentence his voice grew louder and louder. Seriously, I never expected or even had the idea of this side of Mika in my life, but here it is. Wonderful y / n, now you have managed to sink deeply with Mika, which is actually the very last thing I ever wanted to achieve in my life, but life has never been a paradise.

With a chuckle, Bathory put his arm and my shoulders and spoke to Mika.

"But, but Mika shouldn't be so strict with her. She's just a little girl again, not even now, is she?" "If I were that little girl, you would surely have two arms instead of one." After saying my sentence, I picked up the books that were still on the floor and didn't say goodbye to anyone, why should I?

Bathory is nothing more than an idiot who uses his satisfaction to see others suffer rather than provoke them too.

While Mika nudges both children like a father, although the other is to blame for everything.

When I got to my room, I put the books on my table and sat on my bed, thinking about the old days. However, I don't think of the days with loved ones that I lost, but of those that I spent with Mika before he gave me a “better life”.

I could leave it all behind at any time and either not start an old or a new life, but I love to have him in my heart for it.

Sighing at my thoughts, I give up and stood in front of my closet for the next minute.

While the lukewarm water felt the white bathtub, my clothes landed on the floor.

This life is more of a calling expected of others than a life of its own. A break does no harm to anyone.

I said to myself and after a few seconds I closed my eyes.

After my bath or a break from the real world, I'm just choosing which book to read.

As I was about to start the new book, someone knocked on my door.

Hesitantly, I said the door was open and waited for the person behind it to appear. Please leave it all but Bathory.

Sighing, I immediately put my hand on my left breast and saw him, Mika.

To be honest, I'm happy to see him, but I'm not, but I don't need an explanation. "Good evening." he said in his usual tone. Without making a big head out of it, I repeated it myself, but added if he needed anything from me.

Shivering, I answered my question in the negative and came up to me with slow steps.

The only thing I could do was do nothing. I stopped. When our faces are a few centimeters away, his arm came slowly towards my body, until he reached for something, when he had this in his hand, he came back with a few steps and immediately held a book in my face.

"I really recommend it, I have to say, you have pretty good taste when it comes to books. I've read it several times because these stories, the writing style, the plot and most of all the characters are up to me." uniquely well written down to the smallest detail. "

I looked at the vampire in amazement. "You read that too?" "Y / n, if I hadn't read it, I wouldn't have a clue either."

A little ashamed of my oh-so-intelligent question, I also looked at the floor.

The whole time there was nothing to be heard, neither a little intoxication, nor even breathing. But after a few seconds, Mika also broke the embarrassing silence by taking a few steps and holding out his arm to me. I don't understand it about myself. When Mika is around, I either act annoyed or neutral. However, countless butterflies gather in my stomach when I think of him alone!

"Y / n ... y / n?!" Mika looked up, gave me a neutral look and at the same time held a few strands of my hair and asked me if he should tie my hair up with a towel. I gently took the wet strands of hair from his hand and began to giggle at my discomfort and nervousness. The thought of me being weird was always out of the question.

"I think I'll blow dry my hair. I'll see you at dinner or tomorrow."

"I'll see you at dinner or tomorrow." repeated Mika before she disappeared from my room.

Locked in the room and caught in his deepest thoughts, he stared over the ceiling.

The reviews of that day haunted him to this day when he also dreamed them.

Sleeping now wouldn't be for him, even though it is shortly before 2 o'clock.

But what can you do about it?

The vampire rose from the bed, stretched out, and decided to go for a walk immediately.

As he walked through the empty corridors, he always hoped not to meet anyone.

Whatever stays that way.

Bored and hands in his pockets, the floor caught his attention. It didn't take long, however, because he was amazed to get up when he saw the light coming from someone's room.

He was more than sure whose room, or rather chamber, it was.

It was Y / n's.

He stopped in front of it, thinking, held out his hand and wanted to knock on the door. At the same time he quickly put his hand in his pocket. This scenario takes about 3 minutes. But it wasn't the vampire's nervousness that was unusual, no, why should he be at y / n's door? This is funny.

Doesn't he often seem annoyed or stern in your presence?

Well, he doesn't even know what's going on in his head.

After an eternity, the vampire finally knocked on the human's door and immediately heard "Come in" from the other side.

Without telling himself twice, he opened the door and saw her. He saw her spread out on the large bed with several notes and books.

Stressed out. You can't see it from the outside, but even Mika can confess that he thinks it is strange to see y / n at this time.

"Do you need something?" she asked him and fixed him with her gaze.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping long ago?" he asked and at the same time crossed his arms over his chest.

"Mika, I could ask you that too, don't you think?" sigh y / n and slowly start piling up her notes and books together.

When Mika offered her help, she politely declined and slowly and carefully put the things on her desk.

"If you have nothing special to do, you can always keep me company, you know?"

Yes, even if there is an argument between the two, they still get along well. However, they don't seem to be as close as they used to be. Without saying anything, Mika accepted the offer and sat next to y / n.

Was that really wise?

The smell of y / n gets over his head, but he's not as easy to lose control as other vampires.

Breathing hard, Mika rubbed her eyes and hoped that this unbearable smell would go away any moment.

Easier said than done.

If only I had drunk blood in the last few days. The vampire cursed.

Y / n noticed his unusual behavior and tried to communicate with him, but to no avail. She called his name several times, tapped him on the shoulder, and shook him a little. He seems trapped in his own world. For the first time she seemed to see someone so trapped in his own world. When will he regain his senses?

Annoyed, she hit his skull with her fist, which led to a groan of pain from Mika's mouth. "What does this mean?!"

“If you are tired, please go to your room and sleep there.

Both rolled their eyes in annoyance.

"You have nothing to say to me, human."

"Oh really? What are you going to do about it, vampire?" It wasn't a mistake by y / n, but rather Mika's mistake. If he hadn't called her a human, she wouldn't have called him a vampire. Nobody except Mika knows right now how much he hates vampires and yet he is one himself, but you have to remember that he never wanted to be one. Not everyone is lucky in life.

As I said, even if it was his own fault that she reminded him, he completely lost his nerve. Slowly she approached y / n, she already felt the dark aura coming towards her. However, y / n did not want to show the fear that is in her and slowly rising above her head. She will regret it. "Repeat when you have the pity." "What is the problem? You called me human and I called you a vampire, but you know what makes me be silly, get out of here, vampire. ”Without further ulterior motives, Mika grabbed her wrist and squeezed the bones with her hand listened from print to print. When she wanted to reach for her gun, which is under her top, Mika was a second faster and threw it directly to the end of the room. When Mika immediately released his hand from Y / n's wrist, she saw an emotion in his eyes, sadness.

He was hurt, but shouldn't he care? What should a little person who plays with little guns do against a vampire, ask him about a game? However, he saw her more as a person, he saw her as someone he can love, with whom he can laugh, of course he had had these people before in his life, but they have long since disappeared. Oh how much he loves her.

If only she knew how many letters he wrote her, but never gave them to her, but hid them in his room.

"I'm really stupid." Mika muttered trembling to herself. Y / n heard it and slowly walked up to him "Mika, that was very childish of me and, to be honest, I'm sorry." When she tried to touch his shoulder, he knocked her away and looked into her eyes, it was their fault.

“I don't want your decisions! I never wanted to be a vampire! If you don't know anything about me, please be quiet and think twice before you open your door! ”The whole room went quiet, pretty quiet. It was rather uncomfortably quiet for y / n, but she preferred to keep her mouth shut because it looked like Mika was looking for the right words. "Why do I love you? Tell me Y / N, how can I love you when you hate me so much?" His voice was fragile and it was tormented to hear it that way. "Mika, I had never hated you before." Exhausted, Mika sat down on the floor and looked at the gun at the other end of the room. "Every time I see a gun like that, I hate myself even more." “Even if it sounds a bit clichéd, for example because of the current situation, I have to and want to admit that I love you Mika. You are in such pain and apparently you have torn old wounds. You didn't deserve that, nobody deserved that. ”Y / n sat like Mika on the floor and hugged him. Her warm body against his cold one. As if in slow motion, their faces stood a few inches apart until their lips met.

𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏

With my hands on the back of his neck and my tongue seeking his, his fingertips dance from my thigh under my top.

Only he managed to make me shiver everywhere in a few seconds with the help of his touch. Not through his ice-cold skin, no, only through him. In keeping with the mood, the cold raindrops hit my window pane. "Waiting." he whispered to me.

Not a second later it was pitch black in my room. The butterflies in my stomach just like Mika don't know when to stop, but I love it, never let it stop! His lips kissed every inch of my skin and whispered to me how divine my body was. His hands slide up my top until it finally brushes over my head. The first item of clothing is already on the floor. My legs were around his waist so he could pick me up and lay me on my bed. When he did that, his lips were still on my skin.

As I lay down comfortably, I watched his clothes land piece by piece on the floor. His belly is built like that of a Greek god and although it is dark the moon shines on him. One could have immediately thought it was a godsend. The boxer shorts were the only items of clothing that remained. While I was about to take off my pants, Mika took my hands and indicated that he could do it himself. When my pants peeled off my skin, he looked at my legs in admiration and immediately threw my pants on the floor. Now stand half-naked in front of my bed. The red cheeks on his cheeks were clearly visible. "Are we really supposed to pull this off?" I asked Mika and looked him in the eye. His lips approached my ear and he breathed softly, "Y / n, the question is not, we should, but we can. A human and a vampire, is that a good chemistry?"

"Why don't we want to find out?" I whispered and kissed his shoulder in time. Now he looked at me again, but with clearly red cheeks you could have thought he had a fever, but I can't blame him, because even when his ice-cold body is on top of mine, my body manages to have a hot temperature.

As our tongues played with each other again, our hands explored each other's bodies. While one hand pinches my buttocks, the other is right on my bra clasp.

Moaning slightly, I also pinched his buttocks and felt my muscles tense. A low gasp left his delicate lips, which made me even weaker. My temperature rises more and more with each of his touches.

I can not stand it anymore!

He knows very well that he has the upper hand!

When my bra, like the rest of the clothes, landed on the floor, his ice-cold hands brushed my arms up to my hips and brushed the last piece of clothing across the floor.

I was breathing hard down in my zone.

His hands were on each thigh so I couldn't pinch my legs together. Apart from the horniness, I could hardly move my legs because of his strength, you can not say that he is so strong. The horniness in me is going like crazy! With every breath Mika takes against my area, the butterflies in my stomach fly crazier.

When his tongue brushed my cervix for less than a second, I let out a gasp. Immediately afterwards he pressed his tongue against it and danced with it at the same time. That I'm getting wetter is not only clear to me, but also to Mika, when he was his tongue in my entrance, she explored every single inch inside.

Overwhelmed by shame and lust, I pressed one hand against my mouth so as not to make a noise from you, and the other on his white-blonde hair.

Every time his tongue penetrated deeper and he spread my thighs wider and wider, it honestly hurt, but I don't care about that at the moment because as good as he makes me feel no one is going to do it and I want it too nobody does it because I just want them. Because I just want Mika.

When I thought it couldn't get better, I was wrong. When he started sucking, I was done. My lustful moans got louder every time I sucked, but I do my best that nobody but Mika can hear it. When he freed his tongue from the entrance again, he stuck his middle and ring finger in the next second and didn't give me a second to get used to it. The speed of his fingers is unique!

No matter how much I press my hand against my mouth, my moans stay louder.

Several times his name groaned, which only drove him to increase the speed. My orgasm is nourishing. When I groaned and said I was about to be there, he didn't stop but continued. His tongue dances on my cervix and his fingers successfully hit the G-spot every time, it's just breathtaking!

When my orgasm came, I screamed his name with relish and breathed heavily as I stared at the ceiling.

His beautiful face approached mine, but he devoted his lips to my ears and whispered, "A second round won't hurt you." Aren't my trembling legs enough for him? In the middle of the kiss, I slowly felt his member inside me, but my nails clawed behind his back in pain, we continued the kiss. Now it was Mika who groaned in the middle of the kiss. He closed his eyes and kissed my chest as his hips began to dance. Is it still normal for him to make me feel this way? Because on the one hand I can no longer, on the other hand I want more! Mika's one hand is on my thigh while the other is on my chest. The way he plays sensitive nipples is superb.

I don't know how he makes me feel so good, but I want him to never stop. "Mika, don't stop." I moaned in his ear and wrapped my legs around his waist. When he saw me, I didn't know how to feel. Because his eyes are blood red! He slowly approached my neck. That cold breath worried me even more. He didn't bite me, however, but instead scratched his designated spot with his fangs as the blood flowed from the wound, so it propelled him and made him much faster than before. The clap of our skin was just as loud as the satisfying moans from our mouths. "Y / n." he groaned my name and immediately turned me around. Now my back was visible to him. With both hands on our hips, our bodies clapped together. When I moaned his name one last time, the orgasm came, Mika pulled his member out of me and rubbed it with his hand until finally the white sperm speared out of his body.

𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏

After Mika helped me cleanse my body, we are back in bed naked. "Do you think we can do it?" Mika asked out of nowhere. “I don't think so, I know, Mika. And I think you should too. "The vampire looked at me lovingly and finally kissed me on the lips and immediately afterwards whispered" Good night, y / n. " "Good night, Mika."

#mikaela hyakuya #owari no seraph mikaela #owari no seraph #mikaela x reader #oneshot #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #female #x you #love story #smut #seraph of the end #yuichiro hyakuya #shinoa hiragi #ferid bathory #guren ichinose

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wh6res · 3 years

Text

UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG

psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast

life could’ve been simple;

you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.

what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic.

"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane."

she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears.

"bitch," you mutter under your breath.

you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.

moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.

"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.

you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?

"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again.

"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.

"really? let me see..."

he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.

"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?"

ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway.

"doyoung! help me carry these!"

someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"

"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"

"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"

you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."

the universe truly hates you.

your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."

"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"

he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?"

you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."

"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"

"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."

hmm… how sweet of him.

it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."

"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."

"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"

you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath.

"is he cute?"

you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement.

"you have no idea."

for his first act;

he gains your trust.

fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.

she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year.

the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her.

oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"

in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"

doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.

the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."

"how'd you meet?"

and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living.

"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"

"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."

your attorney doesn't come to your aid.

"perjury isn't my thing."

the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."

"and you have evidence to support this claim?"

without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."

the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.

the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?

"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.

the damage is done.

at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.

but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.

that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.

you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way.

"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.

"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.

something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.

"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"

your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.

one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.

his eyebrow raises in amusement.

well, not that you have a choice, anyway.

it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears.

"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."

you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"

"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"

"okay... thank you, doyoung."

"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."

in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend.

you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"

"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"

"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."

what?

"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"

that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.

he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word.

you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.

the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!

when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel.

"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode.

"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.

"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."

"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information.

a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?

"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."

"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."

but the conversation hadn't always been about academics.

sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve.

and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too.

kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no

you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.

"why are your notes like that?"

you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.

"what do you mean?"

"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?"

what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind.

just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head.

hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.

"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"

"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."

he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"

how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.

"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.

he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.

it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?

you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.

he calls out your name.

your eyes snap open.

"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest.

"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."

"i caught you in the act. stop lying."

like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.

"you're drunk!" he scolds.

“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."

"but —"

"bye!"

you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys.

but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.

everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.

you should have taken the alleyways.

for his second act;

he alters your reality.

when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?

"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"

a person clears their throat.

"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"

pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."

you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history."

six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.

"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"

"baby, listen to me —"

"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"

"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."

that can't be possible.

"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.

doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."

you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.

"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"

gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?

you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"

he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"

"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."

"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"

"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"

"am i a charity case to you?"

oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.

"what are you saying —"

"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"

he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said.

"do you really want to know why?"

you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart.

"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"

you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss.

the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone.

when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"

still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."

days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment.

"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."

"oh, can you get take out?"

doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"

it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day.

"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"

"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."

"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"

"i'm going to uni, not you."

maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.

"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"

too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor.

"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."

his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."

"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."

he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.

living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down.

but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."

"but…"

he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."

"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."

he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud.

"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand.

"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."

for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't…

right?

you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper.

every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused.

the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.

the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going.

"bathroom," you lied.

you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.

grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.

you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back.

bang! bang! bang!

you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.

you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"

your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video.

no, no, no, no — please!

you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers.

"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"

you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.

doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."

but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.

for his third and final act;

he triumphs.

his deprivation began in minuscule ripples.

it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration.

but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.

"why does my door need a lock outside again?"

he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.

he can't have you doubting him, can he?

"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"

doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.

"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."

he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.

doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.

"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."

it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin.

eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.

it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day.

turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.

doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.

until he received a text that made his blood run cold.

ty, 11:34 am —im done.

meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.

the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?

"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"

taeyong?

slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.

the banging on the door progresses.

“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”

you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.

all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder.

taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”

“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?

“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp.

“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time.

“do you think he actually loves you?”

“he does! stop saying bullshit!”

“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”

taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.

“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.

tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”

you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”

with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”

you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”

you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside.

“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”

he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home.

in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off.

taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”

“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.

“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”

“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”

“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”

“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung.

but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”

a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.

but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him.

but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"

you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with.

"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"

the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it... but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.

"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"

the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.

meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.

"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."

you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you.

"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"

taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —

"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"

you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob.

"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."

you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.

doyoung killed him. you lost.

the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face.

"now... how about that lunch, baby?"

✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3

#hmu if i missed a warning #yandere doyoung #yandere kpop #yandere nct #yandere nct 127 #tw swearing #tw manipulation #tw violence #tw knife

202 notes · View notes

actuallysaiyan · 3 years

Note

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1K FOLLOWERS! You deserve every single one of them and more! Can I participate in your event PLEASE? 🥺

Since you already did a match-up for me, I'll choose Android 17 as my character and here's all the info you need!

Name: Corethra (Corey for short)

MBTI Type: INFJ

Star Sign: Pisces

Venus Sign: Capricorn

Love Language: Acts Of Service

About Me: I have a tough, foul-mouthed, and sometimes mean front that hides my caring and kind nature. I have high standards for both myself and others and I refuse to lower them nor change for anyone. Accept me as I am or keep it moving. I'm also a bit territorial and I take relationships seriously. No casual flings or hook-ups here! I can come across as demanding and uncompromising but that's only because I want the same respect, passion, and undying loyalty that I'm willing to give my partner and I don't want to be abandoned or betrayed.

I haven't been on a date nor have I had a relationship (still a virgin too) so I'm not really sure about what I'd like to do on a date 😅 But I do enjoy going out to restaurants and playing video games so something involving gaming or food will do!

As for music genre/artist/band, I have a wide variety of music that I enjoy but my main genre is basically anything alternative or rock. My favorite band is Evanescence and my favorite artist is Ciara 😁

I think I'll ask for smut this time 😉

Your Song: At Last- Etta James Headcanons:

When you first met Android 17, he was still cold and distant. He liked you, but it was hard for him to open up to you and actually become your friend. He takes a long time to come to terms with what’s happened to him in life and you really help him see the beauty of life.

As you grow closer, Android 17 finds himself feeling things he thought he’d never feel again. You were becoming someone so important in his life and he found himself wanting to spend more time with you and he hates the way other people look at you. He doesn’t want anyone to ask you out or date you.

It was actually Krillin and his sister, Android 18, who were the ones that got you two together. They noticed how close you were to each other and Android 18 told her brother to ask you out on a date. He was very nervous about it, since he had developed a crush on you by this point.

The first date was awkward, but you both had a wonderful time. Android 17 brought you to a very nice restaurant and though you both were nervous, it felt nice to finally have some alone time and actually go on a real date. He didn’t know exactly what to say to you, but every time you laughed, he felt his heart skip a beat.

It took some time for the two of you to fully feel comfortable around one another. You were worried that maybe he wasn’t fully committed, and he worried that you weren’t interested enough in him. But when he kissed you for the first time, everything fell into place.

You both love to spend time together, either playing video games, taking a walk in the woods or just spending quality time together. Android 17 feels the most comfortable with you and he knows he can be his true self with you. He doesn’t need to hide anything from you and he doesn’t have to be cold or distant with you.

Lots of cuddles. He feels like he is so safe in your arms, and he knows that you feel the same way about him. He’ll pull you onto his chest and wrap his arms around you while you both snuggle while watching a movie. It’s one of the best feelings in the world.

Android 17 treats you like a princess. He will do absolutely anything to see you smile, and he always has your best interests at heart. He will never do anything to make you sad intentionally. He’s also very much into buying or making you little gifts or doing kind things for you.

On the flip side, you are quick to treat Android 17 like he is the greatest thing in the world. This dynamic works so well for the two of you as you are both so willing to be caring and generous to one another, making you both feel like a million dollars.

Whenever you’re in public, he can get a little possessive in a sense. He doesn’t want anyone else checking you out. He can’t help but feel jealous of anyone who thinks they can get some action with you. Thankfully for him, you are so quick to shut those creeps down. Android 17 has nothing to worry about while he’s with you, and same goes for you.

Being intimate together after being apart:

His movements are rough and needy as he picks you up and throws you onto the bed. It’s a little bit playful in a way, but you know that if you tease him for too long, he will definitely get rougher than this. It’s not often that Android 17 gets this way, but when it’s been a while since you’ve been intimate together.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mutters against the soft spot on your neck. You groan as he bites down gently, leaving only light teeth marks.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you manage to say between your labored breath. One of his hands is already down your panties, rubbing your clit.

“I missed you too. I can’t wait to show you how much,”

His words go straight to your core. You shudder softly as his fingers finally pump into you, your walls stretching to accommodate him. It feels so good and he’s barely done anything to you yet. The excitement from seeing again after him being gone so long is what’s making you this aroused.

“Are you already going to cum?” There’s a mocking tone in his voice as he slows his pace. You can feel your orgasm subsiding as he slows to a stop.

“Seventeen,” you whine. “Why would you stop like that?” He chuckles and leans in to quiet you with a soft and passionate kiss.

“Because I just love the way you beg me.” He admits, curling his fingers to stimulate your g spot. Your eyes roll back in your head as he continues to fuck you with his fingers, this time his thumb comes to bully your clit.

“Gonna fucking cum!” You cry out, bucking up against his hand. He speeds up in the best way possible, never letting up on the pressure.

“Cum all over my fingers, beautiful. I want to feel you come undone.”

That’s all you need as your toes curl and your vision cuts to static. You mewl his name as your orgasm wracks all throughout your body. Android 17 is palming himself through his jeans while he watches you cum.

It doesn't take long for him to get himself undressed and push himself deeply into you. You both moan as he bottoms out, his balls plush against your ass. He’s trying to contain himself as best as he can, but it’s proving to be too much.

“I love you,”

#actuallysaiyan's 1k followers event #bacon's 1k followers event #android 17 #android 17 x you #android 17 x reader #android 17 x y/n #android 17 smut #android 17 lemon #dragon ball z #dragon ball z x you #dragon ball z smut

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morimakesfanart · 3 years

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Sindria's Prophet #17

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]

[AO3]

*In this house we stan string theory and multiple dimension theory *Also, this chapter gets a little preachy, and delves more into my interpretation of the series so to make up for it I made a lot of art.

~POV Sinbad~ "If you're willing to talk about the future, does that mean you are finally ready to explain about those calamities you mentioned in Balbadd?" When Ja'far cut in he was in a rush; he didn't want to miss this chance. Sinbad had underestimated Ja'far's concerns; he had been too preoccupied with the Prophet. All the same, "I don't know if this is the time for that conversation. This is Mori's first meal with everyone after all." Wait. He knew that look. Ja'far wasn't actually asking to have that conversation now. He was pressuring Mori so she would have to agree to tell them soon. "I'm fine. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. As long as everyone else is willing to talk seriously for a few mins, I don't see the problem." Mori was wearing the same stern expression she had the morning of the coup in Balbadd. When Ja'far had cut in with his request he could have tried to sound a little nicer but it didn't warrant the cold response Mori gave in return. There had been rising tensions between Ja'far and Mori since Balbadd, but both seemed to get along most of the time. "Wait really? You're agreeing this easily?" Ja'far's shock also spoke for the King. She obviously didn't want to talk about the Calamities even when she promised to tell them, so why now? "A promise is a promise." Mori almost felt like a completely different person compared to the coy way she was teasing them all just moments ago. "Besides, this will just continue to be a point of contention until I explain."

--- King Sinbad was finally eating with his Generals and Prophet, but this was nothing like he had planned. Mori sat straight with both hands on the table interlocked. "The 1st of the 2 calamities occurs in about 2 years. As you know, there's a few countries that currently have rising tensions." Which countries? The Kou and Riem were prime contenders since they were already Empires causing trouble for other countries. There was also Magnostadt which has been becoming increasingly hostile to other nations, and seemed to be encroaching on the Kingdom of Actia. "In 2 years, 3 of them are going to go to war. A massive amount of black Rukh will be released, and the same type of magic used to make the Dark Djinns will be used to make a humanoid monster the size of a mountain." Of course, Al Thamen would be involved. "The amount of black Rukh it will have will make it a Medium for opening a black spot and letting Ill Ilah connect to the world which is Al Thamen's ultimate goal. Once Ill Ilah connects it will destroy all of the white Rukh in the world -bringing death." It sounded just like what Falon had described as her plan all those years ago. The same thing that happened in Parthevia a decade ago is going to happen again in only 2 years? "The Medium is destroyed before that can happen thanks to all of the current Metal Vessel users and assimilated Household Members coming together to destroy it. The world is saved but in the process one of the Magi will have to commit one of the ultimate taboos of this world. That taboo is what will eventually lead to the 2nd Calamity. If King Sinbad and the Metal Vessel users of the Seven Seas Alliance, which were the last to arrive, can show up sooner then that taboo and the 2nd Calamity might be something that can be fully avoided especially since I already know the Medium's weakness." It was clear that Mori knew more. Sinbad would have to talk to her about it later; he wasn't sure how much he wanted to talk about this tonight -they were supposed to be celebrating and getting to know each other light heartedly. However, there was one question he couldn't hold back from asking. "What is this taboo?” Mori sighed like she had expected that question. She looked to the ceiling. "Honestly, I didn't want to think it was a taboo when I first learned it, but after seeing what happens I get it now." She looked back at them. "I hope you can accept me not telling what it is. I don't want to even try to explain the 2nd Calamity because I'm not sure how without explaining the taboo. You see, the taboo involves information, so if I explain it to you I will be committing the taboo myself. I can only hope that the world isn't endangered because I know it." The air in the room felt thick. All of the Generals were waiting for his decision. Sinbad tried to read the Prophet's expression. It was serious, and determined; it seemed like fear and remorse were hiding right under the surface. What information could be dangerous on its own? "Alright," he agreed. "We don't want to take any unnecessary risks. However, if we are unable to prevent the taboo from being committed you will explain the 2nd Calamity." Mori attempted a half-hearted smile. "I was already planning to do that." She glanced around at the Generals. "Are there any other questions?" Sharrkan grumbled. "This is all really complicated stuff." "Yeah. Pretty scary, huh?" Pisti agreed. Drakon and Hinahoho were sharing a look while thinking.

"You still haven't told us where this is going to happen." Ja'far decided he would ask the next question. "Are you withholding that information on purpose?" Mori's expression was blank. "I'll tell you the countries involved after King Sinbad returns from the Kou Empire. I don't want to influence how the negotiation goes by giving him too much information he wouldn't normally have. I'm doing this for Balbadd..." Mori withholding vital information was the entire cause of Ja'far's distrust of her. "You took too long to tell us what was going to happen back in Balbadd, remember? If we know what their next target is then we can stop it before it ever happens." "The 1st Calamity has nothing to do with Al Thamen." "What?” that question was asked by all except the Prophet. Mori explained, "That country has refused contact with them and been building towards this for the past 10 years all on its own. All of the Black Rukh that has been accumulated there is like a trap waiting to be set off. The people currently in charge are not people who would be willing to accept change, or to listen to the arguments of the people here." That definitely narrowed it down. Riem was already having meetings with them, and it was only a matter of time before they formed an alliance. They already had the peace treaty with the Kou, and King Sinbad was about to go negotiate with them for Balbadd. That only left Magnostadt as the center of the conflict -the country they knew had increasing disparity between it's upper and lower classes. Mori was staring at him. He wasn't the one she was actually hiding this from. Since it didn't seem to be an avoidable Fate, she was preventing Yam from learning the Fate of her home country for as long as possible. Mori was trying to be considerate. "How is that possible?” "If they aren't behind it then how could such a thing happen??” Mori gave a sad smile. "It would be so much easier if all of the bad things in this world really were all caused by that organization. I had wrongly thought that was how this world works in the heat of the moment back in Balbadd, but I know better. I've read this world's Fate after all. Even in this world it is a mistake to hold onto the hope of total altruism too strongly." It almost felt like she was calling them all naïve with that last statement. She looked down at her hands. "Sentience, experience and free will make us all imperfect. All people are shaped by their past and everyone has a vice. There will always be people who think they are above everyone else, people who think they are right because of their feelings, people who think that they deserve something just because they want it or that they can do something because it is available to them," she looked back up and made direct eye contact with her King, "people that think that their luck or privilege is a sign that they were chosen by Fate, that they are the only one who can do something because they are special and that that means they are righteous and their failings mere stepping stones when in reality they are all normal people just like the rest of us." ///She knows nothing about being a Singularity. There's no greater proof of being chosen by Fate!/// Since the Fall of First Sindria, Sinbad had been hearing a voice periodically. It was like stray thoughts -many were opinions he didn't really have. The fact that the voice felt the same as him in this made a pit form in his stomach.

Mori gestured at him and continued. "Even his Majesty being a 'Singularity' is only something rare. You aren't the first, and you won't be the last. You know I can read the waves of Fate as well, so it's obviously not the type of thing that you or Al Thamen makes it out to be. There is no 'chosen one.' No one is immune to human fault or failing. 'Fate' is the history of how all of our decisions affect each other.” It was like she was reading his thoughts. There were other Singularities? Mori could also read the waves but- The waves in the room were over flowing. This was greater than when Mori changed things in Balbadd. They were far off topic now, but this was more important. ///She doesn't understand anything. I've read Fate!/// Those stray thoughts hated Mori and how she was changing things since the beginning even though when Sinbad read the waves around her he liked the direction they were going. Her waves wouldn't stop him from reaching his dream. If that voice was this against what she was doing then he had to know more. "Mori, please tell me, what makes you so sure? You say you've read Fate; how can you say there isn't a grand plan? Can you really deny that the Rukh guide us?" Would they have to agree to disagree? Was this something he could afford for the Prophet of his own country to not see his way? She watched him and the Generals as she thought. "There is a 'plan,' but it isn't absolute. I read more than one 'Fate' for this reality. If Fate was already fully decided then in Balbadd Judar would have defeated all of you instead of being crushed by Ugo, and Cassim would have married Princess Kougyoku instead of dying, but that didn't happen, now did it? When I read Fate, I read how it was changed from it's original design by the people of this world. And as I've already said, I couldn't be here if everything was already decided.” ((these are things that are said to be in the og draft of Magi, but got changed when actually making the scenes)) They had been changing Fate's course before Mori arrived? Was that even possible? Mori wasn't the type to lie out right over something like this. Between her demeanor and the waves, he could tell she wasn't lying. He had to know where this new path was leading and asked an obvious question. "Isn't it just as likely that those 'changes' were supposed to happen?" Mori scowled at that. "Anything is true somewhere. There are infinite realities where any Fate is true. Every moment infinitely more form to account for every possibility -every decision, and unexpected change, even an asteroid coming and destroying the planet. If you can imagine it, it is reality somewhere." Sinbad had read Fate in the waves, of course he knew about there being other possibilities. Were there really other realities where he had followed one of the other paths? Mori didn't wait for him to comment. "There's no way to know which destiny or Fate we are following until it's already happened. Being able to read the waves has helped me narrow it down to 2 or so of the Fates that I read for this reality, but it can't account for everything. Since I can't read my own Fate I can't know how my presence will affect things." Mori continued, "When I read this reality's Fate, I learned how it functions on a fundamental level. Everything is made up of Rukh and is dictated by the Rukh and magoi. The Great Flow of the Rukh 'guides' the living but it is also affected by the wants and desires of the living. It sees all those wishes and creates opportunities for people to realize those dreams based on how many want that dream to become real. But it's still up to the living how they react. The Great Flow creates opportunities and makes suggestions, but it can't make your decisions for you. And" Mori paused while looking for the right words, "and the more magoi directed at a certain wish the more likely the Great Flow will try to help." Mori waited for them to absorb the meaning of her words. That meaning made Sinbad nervous. If she wasn't lying... Drakon broke the silence. "That would mean that someone with

a lot of magoi would have a greater affect on the Great Flow." "It does." Mori confirmed. Was that really how the Great Flow of the Rukh worked? How Fate worked? Mori stayed silent again, reading them as much as they were reading her. The waves were still high. Yam was the next to comment. "I know the amount of magoi a person has defines how strong of a magician they can become, but it sounds like those born with a lot of magoi also have an amazing privilege when it comes to the Great Flow." "Exactly." Mori agreed. "The people that Fate seems to favor aren't chosen by Fate or particularly special. They are born lucky just like those born rich." She paused. "All Dudgeon Capturers have an above average amount of magoi. A Djinn won't select a King that doesn't even have enough magoi to use their power. The more Djinns a person has, the more magoi they need to have. King Sinbad, you were born with a rare ability, and the equivalent magoi of a large city or small county -even before all that Rukh merged with you in Parthevia. If you didn't, there would be no reasons for the Djinns to cut you off from trying to capture more Dungeons." "What?" Sinbad's question slipped out of him in an airy gasp. He knew he had more magoi than average, but this would make him no different from those that grew up as royalty thinking that they were inherently better than their poor subjects. He wasn't sure if he could believe her, but the waves of Fate had never lied to him. The Prophet's waves were overwhelming the space, encouraging him to believe her. It was obvious how this information would change things. King Sinbad had more than the waves, he also had a sharp intuition. There was something hidden in her words. Some truth about his future that she hadn't told them yet. Even if he had been intentionally given these privileges by Fate, Mori had already stated that his decisions were his own. When Mori had said there were people that conflated their privilege with a righteous roll given by Fate it definitely included him. But if he wasn't chosen by Fate, if they had been changing Fate all along, then what was what happened in Parthevia or Riem? Mori's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Not being chosen by Fate and everyone having free will is a good thing if you ask me. It means when someone chooses to do right by others it is because they chose to, not because someone is forcing or directing them. I like to think that everyone thinks they are doing the right thing, and only act out against others because of strong emotions and ignorance. The cure for most negative emotions is a stable environment ((including medication for those who need it)) and the cure for ignorance is education. These are things that Sindria and the Seven Seas Alliance are able to provide. "All of you are using your privileges and talents to help people, and to bring peace to the world. Regardless of whatever mistakes you made in the past, this country and the current state of the world are a direct result of your choices. These choices you've all made are even more admirable because you made them on your own. Isn't that why so many have sided with Sindria already? It's also one of the main reasons I chose to become Sindria's Prophet in the first place. With your help, we can greatly reduce the disparity of this world and raise the quality of life for everyone." Her smile was soft and confident. Mori's waves overtook his own.

The King had a thought that shook him, but it was Hinahoho that asked it, "You didn't just tell us some of the taboo information, did you?" "What? No." Mori was shocked by that question. "His Majesty and others would have figured this out all on their own in about 5 years -not to mention those that already know it." He could try to deny it, return to the path he was on, but he would know deep down that she was right. And apparently, he would figure this out in the future anyway. There was no reason to hold himself back then. He could see that now -there was no going back. This was one of the changes he had felt in her waves from when he first met Mori. ///How can she say such foolishness?? This woman must die before she ruins everything!!/// A chuckle slipped out of Sinbad. That voice really did hate his Beautiful Prophet. His waves were changing. He was changing. But he still had the same dream: to create a world without war or poverty. Mori's goal was to remove disparity. Even their goals worked well together. Why had he been so sure that being a Singularity made him some special chosen one? When had that started? It was members of Al Thamen that had told him that. They were the enemy yet he still believed their manipulation so completely. Sinbad knew why deep down. If he was chosen by Fate then his actions would be righteous and the awful things he experienced were stepping stones. Like a child learning to take responsibility and step out of the shadow of their parents, in this too he would have to take ownership for his place in the world. He would be thinking about this a lot in the coming days. All of this information was invaluable. Why did Mori choose to follow him if she knew all this? There was no way she didn't know how he viewed himself and the world before this conversation or the mistakes he had made. Was it thanks to opportunities that the Great Flow gave him that he was able to seduce her to his side? No. Mori already knew what was going to happen. She knew the future more clearly than what the waves could show. She knew him and his methods as well. She knew that the Kou Fleet had been on it's way. That meant Mori would have been deciding where she wanted to go and weighing her options from the beginning. Mori made her decision, gave him a slow drip feed of what she was capable of, and made sure each request he had of her was given a price. She wasn't just withholding her help due to a lack of trust; she was leading him to make the best possible offer. She knew that he would try to bring her to his side if he knew her value. He had played into her hands not the other way around. Why didn't this realization upset him? This new information wasn't going to stop him from achieving his dream. In fact, now that he had a better idea of how the Great Flow worked he could consciously use it to his advantage. He got what he wanted and it was mutual -not simply Fate. They both wanted this. This was making him excited. The smile on her face was one he recognized. He had worn it when he was young whenever he had convinced others to his side. Mori was cut from the same cloth. She had agreed to have this conversation not just because of Ja'far's insistence; she was after the opportunity to clear up his misunderstanding about Fate. ((plz ignore that I forgot to draw my freckles in most of the shots and am too lazy to fix it.))

#magi prophet fanfic #major spoilers #sinbad magi #king sinbad #sindria #info dump

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uhgoodmoni · 3 years

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I’ll Sleep on the Floor | JJK

Summary: Eunjae (oc) and Jungkook aren’t really friends. Like, at all. Actually Eunjae hates Jungkook’s guts. The real issue is that they both are best friends with Seokjin, who wishes that they would just get over their seemingly petty hatred for one another. So to try and solve that Jin invites them to a trip in Greece. Should be fun in paradise? But paradise turns to disaster when a flight gets delayed... they need a hotel and... There’s only ONE bed??

Warnings: Angst cause I always have angst, some fluff ig, idk this ones pretty chill tbh, implied anxiety

(14,286 words)

Ao3 | Wattpad

With my suitcase trailing behind me, wheels scoring the tiles, I walk towards my gate. The first flight was easy up until the end. I napped restfully the entire time but as we came to Tbilisi International Airport in Georgia, the captain had announced that the descent would have rough turbulence because of the storm that was starting. Rough turbulence indeed, a few storage bins had opened up, allowing passengers belongings to fall to the cabin floor. My items were safe, luckily, but the woman seated in front of me had gotten a book to the face. We landed safely and that really was the only thing to be concerned about. Thunder echoed throughout the airport, the flash of lightning shining through the windows. This was bad, very bad. The second flight I would take, Tbilisi air to Athens air. Would it get delayed? I pray not as I walked towards the gate.

Seokjin and I had planned the trip to the T, the next departure an hour and a half after the time we’d land in Tbilisi. A shame we even had to have a layover but our last minute planning had cursed us with that.

I feel like calling Jin now that I have service. Or wifi anyway. So I pull out my phone as I continue my stroll. The airport here is not as busy as Incheon, but still bustling with more people than expected at 8pm.

“Did you make it?” I smile at Jin’s voice coming through the speaker of my phone, only seventy percent. I should charge it before the next flight.

“No, the plane crashed in a fiery accident and I’m calling from my deathbed.” I glance around, looking for a map, or a guide or something that would tell me if I was headed in the right direction.

“Ah, good to know. The beach is waiting here for you. The sun is setting now.”

I look out the window, “I’ve got bad news.”

“What?” He asks, his voice changing to worry after hearing the change in my own tone. “Has Jungkook’s flight not landed yet?”

I shake my head, “No, no. I don’t know where he is. I haven’t even got to my gate yet.” Looking for Jungkook? As if I could care if his plane landed or not. Hopefully it hasn’t and I can fly the final stretch to Greece alone. “There's a storm, it's thundering and I’m not sure if it is going to stick around or not. I haven't checked if our flight is on time.”

He hums, “Well figure it out and let me know.” I nod, seeing the flight list a little further down, just small enough in my vision not to see it yet. Jin stays on the line as I walk.

I glare up at the lit up sign. “Isn’t it supposed to be clear weather here.” I groan, red sign in Georgian, and next to it in English. Delayed.

“That doesn’t sound good? Delayed?”

I sigh, “Yeah.” I look towards where I think my gate is and see the correct number. A few attendants were talking to passengers. “I’m gonna go find out how long. I’ll call you back.”

He hums and hangs up first, he’s probably upset, he’d already been in Greece the whole day alone. He’d just have to wait. It’s not like I have any other choice.

The passengers are complaining of course, their nags getting to my ears before I am close to the desk. Their questions were “How long really is it?” and “you’re joking right?” But some of the other’s I didn’t understand because they weren’t speaking English or Korean.

I look around the gate, seeing that dreaded face sitting in the waiting area. He smiles at me, but only because he knows I’m unhappy to see him. I try not to let him get to me, and I walk towards him instead of the desk. Surely he already knows. Which I’m sure he does because his face turns to a frown as I get closer.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news.” he mutters as I reach him, standing up to face me. “But the flight is delayed.”

I shake my head. Yeah I already know that. “How long?”

He shrugs, “They haven’t said how long yet.”

“What?” I flip to the attendant at the desk. “How do they not know?”

Jungkook smirks, “It’s nice to see you by the way. And you look just great.” He says, and he’s being sarcastic. I glare and then remember to soften my face because I was sure I looked like a bitch to the poor attendant behind the desk who was already surrounded by Karens.

“Seriously?” I take a deep breath, holding in my feelings that are already about to explode. Fifteen minutes in the airport and only one minute in his presence and I was ready to punch him.

“All I said was that you look great and it’s nice to see you.” He shrugs, that smug grin never leaving his face. “And all you have to say is seriously? Can’t even greet me back?”

I ignore him, seeing an open opportunity to speak with the attendant and slip between the shoulders of two others. “Hi excuse me, this flight is delayed right?”

The person nods, “Yes I am so sorry.” But they don’t say anything else.

“Is it possible you could tell me when it’s going to take off?” I pursue further, but the attendant looks dejected, making me think Jungkook was right.

“Georgia isn’t a country where storms this bad come in. This is probably the worst storm they’ve seen this summer. We just don’t have an exact time right now.”

“You’re joking right?” I sigh to myself, and then cringe realizing I sound like everyone else who is surrounding them. “I’m sorry, actually is there any information that you can give me?”

The attendant frowns, speaking to all of us now. “It’s likely that this flight will be canceled within the hour.” They pull out a map of the airport from under the desk. “For rescheduling you’ll want to go here. They point to a dot on the far end, “It should be easy to get one within the next day or so.” My eyes widen. Day or so? I look back to Jungkook who looks equally as worried.

I thank the attendant and return to my luggage and Jungkook at the benches. “What do we do?”

He glances at the hoard of people heading away from the gate, “Try and get on a flight that’s open I guess.” He sighs, pulling up his phone and dialing for Jin.

I bite my lip, glancing and seeing that the people were all heading off to do the same thing. Our stress-free flight that was planned to the T was no longer in sight. And now the line of those trying to do the same thing as us, would make it take even longer.

“Hey…” I turn to Jungkook who sits back down in the chair. “They are advising us to find another flight. Something for tomorrow or the next day…” He’s talking to Jin, whose voice I hear on the other end. Much more upset than he was earlier. I try and listen in as I sit next to Jungkook, the nagging feeling that I should go get us a spot in line urging me to bite at the inside of my mouth even more. But the line would be long whether I went now or waited with Jungkook.

“Yeah I know… I’m really sorry Jin.” Jungkook says and then faintly I hear an ‘its not your fault’ and then an ‘room service here is good’ I smile at this, hoping that Jin would make the best of our late comings. “We are going to wait until they cancel it and then I guess see what kind of flights there are. I’ll call you then okay?”

I shake my head. He decided for the both of us. I open my mouth as he finally hangs up the phone but he speaks before I can.

“Listen Eunjae, before you get all gripey with me, I think we should wait because if we go and buy new tickets just to find out that this attendant was wrong and the flight doesn’t get canceled that would fucking suck.” My mouth shuts and Jungkook grins. For now I would listen to him.

Twenty minutes later the sign changed to cancel. Jungkooks defeat, not that it brings me joy. But if anything is going to make me smile in this situation it would be that Jungkook is wrong.

“What if they only have one seat?” I grin at the thought of this. “Can I buy the first flight out?” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Jin might despise you.” He retorts, dragging along one more smaller suitcase than me. I know he was right and stop thinking about the idea. Jin would be furious. Maybe more than Jungkook knew.

Before we had planned the trip Jin had come to me very angry, (as angry as he lets himself get) and very sad that his two best friends hate each other's guts. He had said it made him anxious and he wasn’t sure if either of us would stick around him because of the other.

Which had never crossed my mind. Of course I hate everytime Jin tells me Jungkook would be at an event or would be tagging along with us but I didn’t think that it bothered Jin. To be honest it looked like it stressed him out more than Jungkook and I. Which I understand. It is hard to be the middleman.

No, I never thought about not hanging out with Jin because of Jungkook. Well maybe I was lying. But it was never a permanent thought in my head. Rather it was fleeting in moments that I found out Jungkook would be coming and I didn’t want to go that night anymore. I always told Jin that there were ways to schedule us around eachother, and he’d pretend to listen. Which genuinely upset me, because Jungkook is an asshole. An asshole who I hate, and Jin should listen to how I feel too. But I never tell him that. Instead I agreed to go to Greece with the two of them. Jungkook completely unaware that this is basically a bonding experiment.

“The earliest flight I can put you both on together is tomorrow evening at 5 pm” Which is extremely disappointing. Regardless, we don’t have another choice, so we laid out some money for the flight. Now another decision would have to be made. To stay in the airport and sleep on the floor, waiting hours and hours on end, or to get a hotel just outside of the airport. “With or without you I am getting out of this place.” Jungkook groans, and for once I agree with him and in silence we find our way to the exit. “I called a hotel that’s pretty close.” I say putting the phone down, exhausted as we had just gone through security. “They said we are lucky there are two rooms open so last minute.” Jungkook only grunts in response, hailing a cab for us. I sigh, which is the most either of us lets out the entire car ride to the hotel except to thank and pay the driver.

Neither of us speak when we exit either, heading into the hotel side by side but far apart. Despite the silence so obviously caused by resentment towards each other, I don’t try to fix it. I’ll save my energy for the rest of the trip, while in Seokjin’s presence.

We check in, and pay our own separate ways. A two hundred dollar expense that I wasn’t expecting to pay, but because it’s so last minute the prices for just one night were high.

“Heres your key cards. Hope you enjoy your stay.” The receptionist has a small smile and ushers us along. We aren’t the only people checking in.

I finally break the silence. “I think my room is in the other direction…” I announce and he looks back at me with a curt nod.

“Well if you need anything you have my number.” He says before turning around. “Be safe.” is barely heard as I turn around too. I don’t mutter ‘you too’ back because he’s already walking off.

As I walk off towards my room I let out a deep breath of relief. Glad that the silence wasn’t forced anymore. I seriously don’t know what Jin was thinking. A week trip with just the three of us? It is going to suck, and probably for all of us. Maybe that’s why Jin’s destination is Greece, a place we could try and relax amongst agonizing company. Jin’s trying at least and, since he cares so much I’ll put in my effort. Or at least try to.

I text Jin that we finally got to a hotel and that I would message him before our flight tomorrow. He responds with a smiley and a goodnight. I smile, hoping that he was having a good night too.

By the time I get to my hotel room I am giddy with the idea of jumping in bed. My arm is tired from dragging my suitcase and my back hurts from the airplane seats. Not to mention my aching brain from the practically pointless conversations with Jungkook. Seriously did he not even care to at least make some small talk? He spoke things of such little importance. ‘You look great’ He could have asked some questions about how I was doing or something worth conversation. Or at least make it genuine. However, would it have been worse to hear him speak more?

I pull the card up against the slot, a beep and then a red light blinking. Red is never a good sign. And what do you know the door doesn’t unlock. What a joke. I look down at my stuff debating whether to leave it by the door or take it all the way back to the lobby with me. Then I decide that leaving everything on my person in a foreign country is stupid and I pull the luggage back.

“Hi what can I help you with?” It’s a different attendant this time, and I slide the card to them

“Hi, um I’m in room 128 and my key wont work.”

They nod a few times, taking the key and inserting it somewhere. She types up some things on the computer and then. “Mr Hamira?”

I shake my head. “No it should be under Ha, Ha Eunjae” They seem confused and double check. They shake their head.

“I’m sorry we…” they purse their lips, typing in something else. “I’m sorry one moment.” So I stand there wondering if the earlier receptionist was wrong. There weren't two rooms, and instead had given me a room that someone else was in. Fuck I hope not.

“Well, you’re name is there. I have your receipt here… but someone else already has this booked out as well…” I swallow. Damnit. I nod. “Are you sure?”

They frown and then reach for the phone. “I’ll call the room to see if anyone is in it.” So she dials it up and a moment later an answer. My heart drops. I’ll have to find another room? And if they don’t have one? Then I’d call another hotel. I don’t want to think about what I would do if there aren’t any open hotels for the night. Why’s it so damn busy at this hotel? “Sorry sir for waking you, we just wanted to check…” I open my phone googling a nearby hotel. “Is there any other rooms?”

The receptionist puts the phone down shaking her head. “Not tonight I’m afraid. I’m so sorry, do you remember the name of the person who sold you this room?” I shake my head, not really caring for them to get reprimanded. “I will refund your money right now.” I bite my lip. Damn, what was I going to do?

“Okay.” I mutter dialing the phone to the next closest hotel. They answer but no good news, they were booked out for the rest of the week.

“We have a festival going on nearby that’s why.” She frowns, “I’m sorry…”

I don’t really care, it’s not her fault, but as I call the next hotel and the next and the next all within an hours radius I realize there’s no hope. I could travel the two hours to the next hotel but… I find myself seated in the lobby head pressed against my suitcase. I feel like throwing up, crying and screaming all simultaneously.

Jin crosses my mind and for a moment I think about calling him, but I decide not to bother him. It is my own problem to deal with. Though I can imagine him saying something like “your problems are mine and vice versa.” Blah blah, he cares too much. I frown, thinking about how bad the trip is going to be. I wonder if Jin dreads it as much as me. Does Jungkook dread hanging out with me as much as I do him? He must. After all he thinks that ‘I’m a stuck up cunt’ and many other things I don’t feel like replaying. I frown, how misogynistic and cruel. But I don’t linger on his past words and instead his most recent flutter into my thoughts.

Well if you need anything you have my number.

So because I have no other ideas, I pull open my phone and search him up. There was nothing.

Fuck. Of course not, I never saved his number. I hate his guts. For a moment I hate my own guts. How stupid could I be, not saving his number? Any number of emergencies could have occurred where I might need to contact him.

I cave, realizing who I need to ask, and open our text messages.

‘you’re really asking for his number’

‘yes dont ask i just rlly need it oki???’

‘mhm, why don’t you ask him yourself ;)’

‘jin give me his number’

I roll my eyes, but another text comes and it's a phone number. I stare at it for a moment. Do I text or call? And then I think about doing neither, I could just bear with the two hour drive. I close the message. Honestly getting a cab for two hours would be expensive. But not more expensive than the time I’ll be stuck with Jungkook. Plus I’ll have to sleep on the floor. It would be rude to ask to take the bed… Fuck.

So I call a cab, the line ringing and my head buzzing with regret. How expensive would this ride be? Not to mention I’d have to get another cab back to the airport tomorrow? My teeth tear into the skin in my mouth, this time the taste of iron filling at my tongue.

“What are you doing out here?” I jump at the sound of his voice, turning to see Jungkook standing with his wallet in hand.

I don’t know how to explain but settle with “They sold me a room they don't have.”I stutter thinking how stupid I must look still sitting in the lobby with all my stuff. I was sure to look a mess, almost crying. He looks over to the receptionist who is speaking to someone else. I look at the clock on my phone, still waiting for an answer. It is almost eleven.

“Is there another hotel?” He mutters not even looking back at me.

“No, well. There is one but it’s two hours away.”

His eyes widen as he opens his wallet. “Seriously?”

“I wouldn’t be joking.” I say, my voice raising. I am not in the mood right now. He doesn’t respond. “I’m trying to call a cab.” I take the phone away from my ear as it goes to voice mail. The message is in a language I don’t know. “Fuck.” I hang up. Putting my phone on my lap.

“Did you already rent a room at the other hotel?” He asks, looking longingly to the vending machines.

My jaw clenches. “No.” I spit at him, “They won’t fucking take my money over the phone, because of this damn.” I choke, “This.. Damn festival.” I sniff, pressing my hands against my cheeks that were now rosy and warm.

“What kind of festival?”

I blink, a tear falling from my eye. “I don’t fucking know.” I almost yell, the receptionist looking over. A few more tears drip down my cheeks. I wipe them hastily away.

Jungkook takes a seat next to me. “I’m sorry… I didn’t ask to piss you off..” he sighs, “I wasn’t thinking.” he presses his lips together looking anywhere but me, “you’re not going anywhere, that’s stupid.” I wipe away more stupid tears as he continues. “It’s just one night you can come to my room…” He sighs, eyes falling to his hands.

“Really?” I sniff.

He glares at me even though I was really asking. “Yeah don’t ask again or your calling that cab.”

My smile is small while I stand with him, awkwardly following him to the vending machines and watching as he glanced over his options. He finally just chose a water bottle and some m and ms.

“Do you want anything?” He asks me, and I shake my head softly. Still a foggy mind from the anxiety attack I narrowly dodged.

He buys another water and hands it to me. We quietly walk back towards his room. The receptionist was staring, probably conjuring what kind of person would pick a stranger to stay in their hotel room. Little does she know, we actually know each other.

As we got to his room and he taps the key on the door, I will myself to speak again. “you didn’t have to…” but I only mumble the words.

He pops a chocolate in his mouth and looks down at me. “What? It’s just water.”

“No…” I frown as he kicks open the door. “letting me stay with you.”

He shrugs as we enter the hotel room. “I said don’t mention it, otherwise you’re back on the street.” Despite sounding serious I can tell that he’s not. I shuffle to the side of the room leaving my suitcase on the side.

“I can sleep on the floor…”

“Ew what? No, that's disgusting.” He shakes his head, and unzips his suitcase. He stands there a moment before pulling out some clothes. I stand there idle as he walks around me, closing himself off into the bathroom.

He is right, that is gross. But I don’t want to take his bed? Would he sleep on the floor? How annoying, I know that if it were the other way around I’d be pissed. I should have just gotten the other hotel. I could have napped on the drive and been fine. Although I wouldn’t want to be alone with some driver for two hours. It would probably be a man, and he might be creepy.

“Eunjae are you okay?” Jungkook has come out in sweats and a tshirt. I stare at him a second, but not for any reason other than he spoke to me.

“Oh, yeah.” I realize I’ve been standing in the same place since I got in the room and so I decide that I’ll follow in his footsteps, taking out a pair of shorts and a tshirt I had packed for pajamas.

He squints at me, walking around back to the other side of the room. “You’re being weird…”

“Sorry.” I mutter going into the bathroom to change. Although I knew I would look tired, when I found myself in the mirror I looked worse than I thought. My eyes are red and puffy from fatigue as well as crying. I roll my eyes at myself. It was a stupid reason to cry. I try not to think about the day that had gone wrong so I distract myself by changing. It is in the past now so it doesn’t really matter. But still, I don’t want to be on another flight tomorrow and I don’t want to be in this room, but I don’t want to be anywhere else either. I just want to be in Greece already. Drinking and sitting on the beach with Jin.

After changing I brush my teeth and wash my face. I am ready to pass out. I come back out to the room and Jungkook is playing some videos on his phone. He is laid out on the left side of the bed, already under the covers. Two pillows separate the two sides of the bed. It is only a queen sized bed, and Jungkook isn’t small so there is only just enough space for me.

“What?” He glares at me. And it bothers me because I’ve done absolutely nothing to him.

“N-nothing.” I say, plugging my phone in and stepping to the bed. Really I never did anything to him the entire time we had known each other. And yet he is such an asshole. I take a seat, but really I don’t want to get in the bed. It’s weird.

I hear Jungkook sigh as I stare at my phone. “We aren’t twelve you know.”

“I am aware Jungkook. That doesn’t mean I want to sleep in the same bed as you.” I shoot, back to my regular self.

He huffs, “For one night only. You’ll never get the chance again.” He winks when I turn staring daggers at him.

I ignore this and pull myself under the covers. If I ever am going to fall asleep tonight in the presence of that demon I will have to start getting comfortable now.

We both fall into a silence. The only sounds being the rain hitting the window, the air conditioner, and the tiktoks he's scrolling through. The light is still on so I don’t close my eyes yet. Instead I think about what Jin had asked of me. He won’t want me to fake it. No fake smiles, or being a bitch back to Jungkook after he’s been an asshole. I will have to genuinely be nice to him. How can I do that when he’s only being an ass to me all time? Be honest with my feelings? Hey Jungkook, that hurt my feelings. Ha, he’ll laugh in my face and then do it again… right?

I have never tried that before… and earlier when I had very obviously almost had a breakdown he actually apologized. I think it was genuine. I think that might have been the first time he had ever seen me cry.

“Jungkook.” I hated myself the moment his name came out of my mouth. Why had I spoken?

He rolls over slightly as he had been facing opposite me. “What?” He sounds annoyed, rightfully so.

I stare at the ceiling. “Why do you hate me?” And after I ask the question I bite my lip because it sounds stupid.

He scoffs, “Who told you I hated you?”

My brows furrow. “What do you mean? At the very least you dislike me highly. When have you ever shown any ounce of kindness to me?” Silence, and that sounds even more dumb because he had by letting me stay in his room “Y-you know what I mean.” I squint, realizing I am being a bitch and failing at even one step of pleasing Jin.

“I only treat you the same way you treat me.” He states blankly, my anger immediately blowing over.

“What?” I push myself up on one arm, Jungkook raising a brow at me. “Are you fucking joking? You’ve only ever been an asshole to me. I never did anything but deal with your shit.”

He blinks. “That’s not true.” My mouth falls open at his unwillingness to admit that he had done something wrong. “I only don’t like you because you don’t like me. No other reason.” He sits up, “You started whatever this is.” He scrunches up his face, “and don’t act like you didn’t because from the very beginning of our relationship, you acted like I didn’t exist…”

He shakes his head, hands clenching tightly against his phone, continuing; “and everytime I came into the room you’d look at me like I was some disgusting animal and then whisper to your friends. Do you know how that makes someone feel? All I ever did was say hi and you were so fake I could feel the bitchiness radiating off you. I didn’t do anything and you treated me like shit.” He looks me over. “You were awful.”

I wish I could have interrupted his stupid speech. He really believes that I am in the wrong? Does he really have no recollection?

“Liar.” I growl. “Don’t act like you dont know.” I sniff, “I only ignored you because you thought you had me figured out from the get go.” My frown becomes prominent and that feeling from earlier returns along with the redness in my cheeks and the water in my eyes. “You had met me one time Jungkook. One fucking time and had the nerve to assume you knew anything about me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He has a stupid look on his face, one that makes me even more angry.

“How can you not remember your great first impression of me Jungkook?” I feel a tear slip down my cheeks but it's more out of anger than sadness. “Eunjae seems like a pretentious cunt, I don’t know why Jin is friends with someone like that-” the tears fall freely now, “a- a whore and…” I clasp a hand over my mouth, stopping a sob. There isn’t really a point in continuing. That should refresh his memory enough. a whore and a gold digging bitch. Only friends with Jin for his money. None of which was true. Well maybe the pretentious part, only sometimes. The tears are dripping onto the sheets of the bed, embarrassing. So I push the covers off of me.

“I-” He shakes his head, shakes and shakes. “I didn’t say that. I never said that.” But I am not listening, I stand up and walk into the bathroom, unable to hear whatever it is he’s saying. I shut the door and sit on the edge of the tub, tearing at the tissue to blow my nose.

I had only told a few of my friends why I hated Jungkook. Only the ones that weren’t mutual with him. Even Jin always wondered. Why would I tell him that the young man he looks so highly of is a total douchebag? It only felt right to keep it to myself, I was sure, no, am sure that Jungkook had relayed that impression of me to all our friends. After all it was my friend who had told me she overheard him telling these things to Taehyung. I had met Taehyung that night and after that I thought I saw a tinge of disdain everytime we spoke. At present it is gone, but did he still sometimes agree? Does he think I am a whore? Do Namjoon or Yoongi think I am a golddigger? I am sure Jungkook thinks those things all of the time. Because he has always been an asshole. Always.

There is a knock at the front door, which I hear Jungkook answer. The door opens and I wondered what it is. It shuts again a moment later. Maybe Jungkook left. After gaining my bearings I rinse off my face and go to open the door. How am I meant to stay here after that?

Jungkook is standing across from the door, “There was a noise complaint.” He spoke quietly, scratching the back of his neck. I don’t respond, only try to walk past him back to the bed. “Eunjae, I never said that.” I close my eyes not really wanting to hear it. “I swear to you, I never said that.”

I pout, looking up at him, barely whispering. “I don’t believe you.”

“I- I really didn’t. I don’t know how to prove to you I didn’t. Why would I? I never have thought those things about you. I really would never say those things.” He stutters a few times and then gets annoyed. “Who told you I said that?”

I clench my teeth, “P-Park Iseul.”

He looks defeated, “I- I don’t even know who that is…”

He can’t defend himself which is enough for me. “You said all those things about me, to Tae…”

“No Jae… listen.” I scoff, “Really gonna try using a nickname on me now? You’re really-”

“Eunjae, I’m sorry.” He’s holding back his annoyance with me, “Why don’t you ask Tae then? Mhm?” He purses his lips, “I have never lied to you. Have I?” And I think for a moment. I can’t recollect a time when he had lied, but I’m sure there had to be at least one. “I didn’t say those things about you. In fact I thought you were really cool. Whoever may have said those things really is an asshole and they're wrong.” He flicks his hands up, “But it wasn’t me.”

“Then- then why have you been so mean to me?” Is all I could manage. At this point I’m not sure whether I believe him or not. This whole time of thinking that he had said those things only to be wrong?

“I told you. You made me feel like I was a parasite. Like I didn’t belong. I’ve been wondering why you’ve hated me for years, and figured that there was just something wrong with me.”

My frown is stuck to my face. I never wanted him to feel that way. No, I did, but only because he made me feel the same way. Because he is evil. But if that isn’t true and he never had been evil in the first place, then it was I who had been the evil one.

“I’m sorry.” I say softly, “I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, his hair falling into his face, “I’m sorry too.” However, if he is telling the truth then there is no real reason for him to apologize. I had thought that Jungkook was reigning terror over me the whole time I had known him but it had actually been the other way around. I am the bitch he thinks I am.

“No really.” I wish I had grabbed a few more tissues because my eyes are leaking again, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been so mean.” He doesn’t say anything. “I really thought that-”

“It’s okay.” He sighs, leaning against the wall. “If it had been the other way around, I might have done the same thing.” But something tells me he wouldn’t have. Despite despising him, the years and years of being around each other I knew Jungkook fairly well. The only person he acts like this around is me, and it is all my fault.

I fold my hands together, sniffing. “Jungkook I’m so so so sorry. I really am. I wish I could take it all back.”

He pushes himself off of the wall. “Please, it’s fine I promise you. If you apologize again I’m making you sleep on the floor.” He walks around back to the bed. “I wish I could take it back too, but it’s just the past.” He sits down. “And now we know it was a dumb miscommunication.” A miscommunication and an assumption on my part. And now I feel awful. And as if reading my mind he speaks again, “Don’t apologize again, really.”

“But I-” He shoots me a glare that stops me.

“Eunjae, I know you’re sorry. I think I know you well enough to know now that you mean it genuinely.” Which only made me feel worse knowing that I never have truly apologized for any of the mean things I’ve said to him. I wonder how often I made him feel sad. He didn’t really show it, instead he’d shoot some sarcastic thing back at me.

“I want to apologize for everything… anything I’ve ever said-” I continue… and he sighs.

“Well don’t. Just pretend that we were teasing each other. Most of it was teasing anyway.”

But he is wrong, “For you maybe. You teased me. I was just awful. I can’t imagine how you felt. I-”

“Yes you can imagine, because you felt the same way about all the things I said to you. So we’ll call it even.” He pulls the covers over himself. “Now let's forget about it and sleep. It's already midnight.” I stand in my place for a moment, before admitting defeat and going back to bed. After pulling the covers up to my shoulders, Jungkook switches off the last light, the whole room going dark as well as silent. The patter of rain on the window lulls me to fatigue but my brain doesn’t want to stop churning. Eventually my thoughts calm themselves and I’m able to fall asleep.

It was an awkward morning. Both of us were quiet as we tiptoed around each other, getting ready to head back to the airport. Showered, and freshened up for another 5 hour flight. We had slept in but still were tired, and my back still ached. There were almost six hours till our flight but checkout was at 11 and it was 10:45. I was hungry the last meal I had was back in Korea, and last night I hadn’t even thought about eating. We would hopefully pick up something on the way.

“Do you want to eat?” Jungkook asks as he gives the attendant his keycard. “I’m starving.”

It was the first thing he had said that morning and it felt weird. Our conversation from last night had ended abruptly. At least to me it had. There was so much left unsaid. I wanted to apologize again, in a moment where we were not in the heat of the moment. A real apology.

“Me too.” I say, and I try to smile. “We could go through the drive through with an uber?”

So that’s what we did. A quick sandwich place where the food was cheap and easy. The driver allowed us to eat in the car as long as we didn’t make a mess. The drive to the airport took longer than expected. There was traffic from the event the attendant spoke of last night, but thankfully the driver played music as Jungkook wasn’t talking much. What was he thinking?

He was probably thinking about how much he hated airport security. At least that was what I was thinking as we made our way through the airport. Conversation was the last thing on my mind while I walked through the metal detectors. By the time we were set free by the employees and back around to our new gate it was 1pm with four hours to kill.

“What do you think Jin is doing right now?” I spoke to him for the first time in what might have been an hour of waiting. Now we are sitting together on a bench, with several other passengers. It's not like we have much else to do. I can at least try to kill the awkward with conversation.

He sighs, “Probably eating a five star lunch with a view of the beach…” He leans back against the chair, stretching his neck, and pushing his hair back. He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. His chest rising and falling softly. I look away and think back to Jin.

“I wish…” I pull out my phone, he is probably wondering what we are doing too. I dial his number, looking away from Jungkook.

He answers almost right away. “Hey Jinnie….”

“Hey are you at the airport?” He sounds more cheerful than he was last night. He is just as excited as we are that we’ll finally be in Greece with him.

“Yup, still got a while to wait though.” I say frowning, looking at the clock. “We are just sitting here… waiting. Waiting. Waiting.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry…” He sighs and then mumbles to someone off the phone. “I can't wait to see you… In like eight hours…”

I shake my head… “It’ll be late then, you should sleep.” He shouldn’t wait for us. It’s not like we are alone. We’ll be able to find our way to the hotel with eachothers help. I glance to Jungkook who looks like he could be asleep. His lashes were quite long. Just as long as mine, how unfair. He had such a pretty face.

“No, no it sucks that you guys got stuck and I want to meet you there. Don’t need you getting lost.” And I smile at this. He’s always like this. Caring for others. It sucks even more that he is alone though. Is Jungkook asleep? That same soft rise and fall of his chest. No he isn’t, His thumbs twiddle with the tag on his luggage.

“Alright… Then I’ll see you in eight hours… try and save doing the fun stuff with Jungkook and I. I think I have severe FOMO.” I laugh, picking at my fingers. I was a patient person but god this is a long time to wait.

“Me too.” Jungkook huffs, not opening his eyes “What’s he eating? How’s the food?” He groans, “I wanna be there and not here.”

I relay Jungkook's questions which Jin happily answers. “Oh you will love it. Everything is delicious. I don’t want to stop eating. It's so good.”

I smile, barely holding back my anticipation. “We can’t wait to be there.”

For a moment he’s quiet, “You’ve sounded weird… What happened? Did you guys argue or something?” He sighs, “Why am I even asking of course you argued.”

“What?” I purse my lips together. How’d he figure that out so easily? Am I that easy to read? Did I really say something that made it obvious? I didn’t think so. “What do you mean?”

“You’re being suspicious. What happened?”

I frown. What does he mean? Am I really being suspicious… No. “You’re suspicious… When do we not…” I look at Jungkook who’s still not paying attention. “seriously? When has there ever been a time where we didn’t…” I avoid saying the word fight. I don’t want Jungkook to know that we are talking about him.

“Well I asked you not to.” I can just see him crossing his arms, The way his voice has sped up, of course he's upset. “Man I can't handle this, if you guys are going to hate each other the whole trip. Seriously you can’t suck it up and have a good time? Once? Literally that’s all I’m asking is for this one time…”

I clench my phone tighter, “Jin. To be honest you’re a liar.” I try to speak in a cool tone, still not wanting Jungkook to be paying me any mind. “One time? really? No it’s been the whole time, all the times. Fuck.” I take a deep breath. “What about what I asked of you? Mhm? Yeah you didn’t listen to that.”

“Well I’m older than you so…”

“It doesn’t matter anyway because nothing happened anyways, Well, nothing like usual so you can keep your assumptions to yourself. Bye I’ll see you in Greece.” I hung up the phone.

“So what was it that you asked of him?” I look over to Jungkook who’s staring down at me. I blink, why was he eavesdropping? I am a fool to think he wasn’t paying attention. “You know you’re sitting right next to me and it’s not like Iphone speakers are very quiet. So what was it that you asked of him?” He crosses his arms, an eyebrow raised.

“It doesn’t really matter, does it?” I lean back in my chair, “it was before we figured out it was a misunderstanding.”

“I still want to know.” He’s acting like a child.

“Really? Why? We’ve already spent all day in silence and I’d rather you not hate me again.”

“We already covered that I never hated you in the first place.”

“Really Jungkook?” I roll my eyes. “Plus you’re the one who wanted to stop talking about it? So why are you asking now?”

He shrugs. “I wanna know.” A short breath comes from my nose while I contemplate what to tell him. It was cruel now in hindsight. But it was genuinely how I felt at the time.

I shake my head , “I asked him to make sure I never saw you again.” I almost laugh cause it sounds so stupid. “Like, literally all the time I used to ask that, but a few months ago I genuinely asked him to stop inviting me if you were going to be there. And that’s when he planned this trip. One last big event before I boycotted you.” He stares at me, “Does that make you feel better?” I grind my teeth. “Not that you probably didn’t feel the same way.”

His eyes fell to the floor, his face softening. “Sorry.”

I squint, looking him over. “Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who’s being a bitch… again.”

His eyes roll over to me. “No, I’m sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t hang out with your best friend.” He frowns, brows furrowed as he contemplates what to say. “That sucks”

“I’m sure you felt the same way…”

He shakes his head. “Not really. So, I’m sorry.” His eyes haven't left mine, and it’s making me uncomfortable.

“I-If I can’t apologize.” I swallow, sitting back in my seat, avoiding that burning eye contact. “Then neither can you.”

“I don’t think I did last night, so I-” he folds his hands together. “I’m really sorry for e-”

“No. You did apologize, so no more apologizing.” I pull out my headphones, “I forgive you so it’s fine.” And I plug them into my phone, shutting him out.

He blinks, shaking his head and turning away from me. Doing whatever. While I sit here and wait.

“Hey, we are boarding.” I blink, waking to Jungkook shaking my shoulder lightly. I yawn, grateful that I had managed some sleep, but knowing that I’d regret it on the plane ride. Planes are so awfully uncomfortable. We board slowly, waiting in line behind other people. I should have grabbed a coffee before we boarded, because now I feel so groggy. But maybe I would manage to fall back asleep. Four hours would be awfully boring if I didn’t. I guess I did download those movies though.

“Do you want the aisle seat?” He asks as we scoot down the aisle. I shrug as we reach our seats. We couldn’t get an outside seat, so we are stuck in the middle aisle. “It doesn’t really matter to me.” He mutters, reaching up and sticking his bag in the overhead storage.

“You’re taller, and wider.” I smile. “It’s fine I’ll take the middle.” He grins, “Who ever could have thought you could actually be nice to me.”

“I’m just being considerate.” I mutter, pushing my extra stuff into the storage as well.

He squeezes past me, “Well so am I.” He takes the seat over, some guy already in the other seat. I squint, wondering if he’s being considerate or petty just to keep me from being nice. Or am I being petty too?

I take my seat anyways, turning my phone onto airplane mode as the attendants go through the safety briefings. “But are you going to have to go to the bathroom?”

He shakes his head, pulling his hoodie over his head. “Nope, I’ve got a strong bladder.”

I take the hoodie as a sign he no longer wants to talk so I plug in my headphones and press on the horror movie I downloaded and brace myself for takeoff.

Halfway through the flight I notice that Jungkook was asleep. It had taken him a little while, likely because of the uncomfortable seat. Or the random stranger that is sitting next to him and their loud chewing. Or that he is in a hoodie and it is really hot.

Earlier in the flight I could tell he wanted to take it off, but for the sake of not bothering other people he left it on. For a while he watched an anime, but now he is sleeping.

His hair is in his face, his breath hitting one strand that flutteres over his lips. I feel like waking him up as he is about to be leaning on the random stranger, but that feels wrong. He is really peaceful when he sleeps. Those same pretty lashes resting over his cheeks.

The strings of a sharp violin jump up in my ear, making me jump and look back to my screen. I take a deep breath. What am I doing? I pause the movie. Maybe I can try and sleep too. I close my eyes, tucking my phone into my pocket. Ignoring whatever that was.

“Sorry, excuse me.” I open my eyes, Jungkook standing and attempting to squeeze between me and the chair. He’s got his sleeves rolled up, his tattooed arm reaching over my head. I furrow my brows, trying to press myself against the chair and out of his way.

He had taken off his hoodie now, a tight button up shirt that fit around his muscles very nicely. Why would he wear that under a hoodie?

“You look very beautiful.” My eyes scrunch up as I glare at him. Is he being sarcastic? What a weird comment to make? “No really. I mean it.”

I blush, why’s he saying this? On the airplane? While he’s hovering over all sexy like? What the fuck?

“Can I kiss you?” I stare at him, hands clenching the sides of my seat. What does he mean? I look over to the stranger who is surely as uncomfortable as me, but he is gone, as are all of the other passengers. It is just me and Jungkook.

I flinch upon his hand at my cheek. “I asked you a question…” he smirks, my heart skipping a beat.

I shake my head. “No, Jungkook? What the fuck?” I push him off.

“What the fuck? What’s that for?” I blink, seeing Jungkook still over me, back in his hoodie, the stranger sitting next to us staring. I look around, a couple of eyes staring at me. “I’m trying to go to the bathroom.”

I try to collect myself, was it a dream? I look up, catching Jungkook’s glare. “I’m sorry I-” He scoots out of the aisle. “I had a- a bad dream.” He looks at me in confusion before turning his head and heading down towards the bathroom. I sigh checking the time. So I managed to fall asleep… There is about thirty minutes of the flight left. What a relief. I pull the movie back out and decide the time will go by faster that way. Jungkook returns in no time, scooting back to his seat.

“So what kinda bad dream was it?” I turn my head to him, “You were pushing me pretty violently. Something traumatic happen to you that I should know about?”

I laugh light heartedly to hide my anxiety. To be honest or not? “Uh…”

Jungkook turns his eyes to slits, staring intently with a horrid grin. “You said my name. Ring any bells?”

I blink, “I- well. You tried to kiss me.” He laughs at this.

“Really? And it was that bad?” He crosses his arms. “I mean damn you really shoved me into the chair of the person in front of you. It was that bad?” He teases.

My mouth falls open, void of speech for a moment. “It’s awkward… It was weird.” I cover my face. “Wouldn’t it be weird if you had a dream where I tried to kiss you?”

He ponders this for a moment, “You know… I think I’d let you.” He smirks, “Why not?”

“What do you mean why not?” I lean over, trying to maintain my whisper voice, I had already drawn too much attention to myself. “Thats-”

He shrugs, “It’s not like it’s real. No big deal.” He looks at me, expecting an answer.

I fall back into my chair, “Well it felt pretty real so-” I fiddle with my shirt. “It’s not like you would know if it was real or not in the dream.”

“I guess you’re right.” He glances at his phone, the clock ticking oh so slow. He doesn’t say anything more. Leaving me wondering. Would he still let me? Why was that even a question in my mind? I press play on my movie, hoping for it to distract me.

The plane lands and it’s extremely dark outside, the city lights blinking around us. Now that we finally landed I was feeling giddy, excited not only to be there but also to see Jin.

The airport this time around was a lot harder to get around. Our baggage claim took twenty minutes in itself, poor Jin texting me from outside. But we were on our way out, needing to stretch and get some fresh uncirculated air.

“Hey!” I look up seeing Jin waiting for us with an Uber. “Welcome to Athens!” He stretches out his arms, me rushing to be the first to greet him.

“Jinniaahh.” I embrace him, missing his bear hugs. I reluctantly let go, giving Jungkook his turn as well.

“How was the flight here? Not considering the fact that it wasn’t the original one you were meant to take.”

Jungkook beats me to an answer, “It was good aside from the fact that Eunjae tried to claim I assaulted her.”

“No I-”

“It was embarrassing, everyone was staring.” He giggles, looking at me with a smile, and it isn’t meant to be conniving. He is only teasing.

I try to loosen up, not expecting him to be teasing so light-heartedly. He isn’t trying to be mean this time. Would I have to remind myself of that everytime he speaks? I smile, “Yeah it was embarrassing for me to.” I elbow him. “Everyone really was staring.” I pout at Jin, “I felt really bad.”

“Did you now?” Jungkook’s lips curl to one side. “Can we get coffee?”

“Coffee?” I look at the clock, “Are you crazy? It’s almost two in the morning.”

Jin looks at both of us, “What’s going on? Is this playful banter? Are you playing a prank on me?”

I look at him, “What’s wrong with playful banter?” I tease Seokjin, “Isn’t it everything you ever wanted?” The uber driver helps us get our luggage into the trunk.

Jin glares at me, holding the door open for me. “I-”

“Everything you ever wanted.” Jungkook winks at him, getting in on the other side.

Jin gets in the front seat, all of us in the car now. “Now I really think you’re faking it…”

I roll my eyes, turning an air conditioning nozzle towards me. “No Jinnie, just teasing you.” He hums and I can tell he’s not fully convinced. Not that I’m all that convinced either.

We get to the airbnb by two thirty, and Jin is ready to pass out. Jungkook and I however are pumped, finally out of the plane and ready to explore Athens, it is a shame that we arrived so late. Here's to hoping that our jet lag won't ruin the day tomorrow.

We pull our luggage into the little house and Jungkook and I are wide eyed. It is really nice, and I am sure it has to have five stars and incredible reviews. It is an open concept, the kitchen, dining, and living room are all connected, stairs at the door leading up to the three bedrooms.

“Thank god we don’t have to share a bed.” Jungkook says, starting up the stairs with a smile. I shake my head pulling in my suitcase behind me. Not only is the inside open, but it is a full fishbowl style, all the windows open towards the city below. We’re up on a hill, trees surrounding the rest of the house for moderate privacy. But the view is beautiful. I wonder what it will look like at sunrise or sunset.

“You guys shared a bed?” Jin asks curiously, opening up the fridge where he pulls out a water, tossing it to me and taking out another for himself.

“Yeah… Was kinda weird. But there was only one room in the hotel we were at. Very very unfortunate.” I huff, “But I guess Jungkook didn’t have to let me stay with him. It was better than being on the street.” I laugh.

“Mhm, is this why you’re being all buddy buddy?” He crosses his arms, taking a sip of his water.

I shrug, opening up my own bottle. “I guess you could say that. I don’t know, we resolved some things.”

“Well that’s a relief…” He sighs, “Why was it that you didn’t like him anyways?”

I look at the ground. “It was dumb really… I’m sorry Jin.”

“No no, It’s fine. I’m just happy you guys can be civil.”

I nod, “Yeah…” Civil. I still feel awful about it. Jungkook really had done nothing after all. He said it himself: We can pretend that we were teasing each other. Had he been teasing me? Playful banter that I returned with malice.

“You good?” I blink, Jin is still standing in the kitchen.

“Yeah… I’m going to try to sleep.” I hike up the stairs, luggage in hand.

“Goodluck,” He says following, and dipping into a far bedroom.

I sigh, I will need that luck. Jet lag, and not to mention the fact that I already slept on the plane. It would probably not be a successful night's sleep. Both doors of the other rooms are closed, nice; Jungkook couldn’t have left me a clue to which room he had taken?

I knock on the door, and wait for anything. No sound so I open the door, peering inside. With a sigh of relief I walk inside. Tugging in the luggage after me. The bed looks so comfortable and suddenly the energy I thought I had was gone.

“I claim this room.” I turn around, Jungkook barging in from behind with his suitcases in tow. I'm speechless as he hops onto the bed.

“I was here first.” I look back out the door, wondering what is so wrong with the other room that he abandoned it.

He raises his brows, looking over from the bed, “Well you didn’t claim it… I did.”

“That’s childish.” I look around, deciding the other room won’t be that bad. “And I’m not so…” I walk out the door so I can take the other room.

“You are childish.” He nags. “Hey, close the door.” To which I ignore him and move on to my room. Which, like I thought, isn’t that much different than the other one. I check the bathroom though, which doesn’t have a shower. I sigh, so that’s why Jungkook must have taken the other one. It’s not like he can stop me from using his, unless he wants me to smell bad. Maybe Jin’s room has a shower too.

I unpack a little into the small chest of drawers in the room, and plug in my phone. I make sure I have everything in order for tomorrow. What is it that we were doing tomorrow anyway?

The first day on our itinerary had been ruined by the unforeseen storm in Georgia, but it’s not like it was strict. We could go to so many different museums or historical sites. Hopefully the other two will be just as interested in those as me. Too bad our other friend Joon didn’t come along. He’d love the art.

Looking at the clock I decide it’s time for bed. I shut out my lights and tuck myself in. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but falling asleep is particularly tricky. What time were we waking up? Should I go ask Jin? No, he might have already fallen asleep. Surely we would sleep in? Jungkook might complain about going straight to the museums instead of something more exciting. What is it that he wants to do again? Surfing, oh yeah. But surely not on our first day after a tiring flight.

I fluff the pillow that is already too hot. My back hurts from the flight and the bed isn’t proving to be as comfortable as I thought it would be. I wonder if the other bed is more comfy. Why’d Jungkook have to go right ahead and take it from me? He’d probably sleep in later than me too. What if Jin’s bathroom didn't have a shower and we both had to use the one in Jungkook’s room? Surely that would be absurd, Three bathrooms and one shower. No way. Not with five star reviews. There should be a shower in my bathroom too. The architect sucks. Brain shut the fuck up. I sigh into the sheets. They smell good. At least I can be sure that they are clean. I bet the floors are clean. If there was only one bed here, we could sleep on the floor and it would be way less disgusting than that of the hotel floor.

My throat is a little dry. I push myself out of the comforter. Is the ac on or Is it my high level of activity that is making me hot? I flip on my bathroom light just to see around me. Where is the thermostat? Downstairs probably. I pick up my phone and switch my flashlight on, waltzing through the hallway and down the stairs. What a house. A chandelier's crystals glimmer from my phone’s light above the stairs. How much would it cost to live in a place like this?

I don’t consider it, it is far above my salary. The kitchen is grand, meant for entertaining, a bar overlooking the living room below. Wow I’d kill to live here, my simple apartment is half the square footage, and not a speck of glamour shines there. Unless you count the prints of someone’s art I bought off of etsy.

I scour the kitchen cabinets, finding lots of plates and dishes for serving. Ah yes, my hands find the cups which shine the reflection of my flashlight. The fridge dispenses ice and cool water which I down quickly. I sm more parched than I thought and I refill the cup a second time. Sipping on the second one I think about the bathroom again. Childish indeed. If I were as childish as he, I would have replied. I don’t see your name on it. But I didn’t… Though it was just playful banter. Did he really see it that way? Was he teasing me all those years? Certainly he did it just to spite me. Either way, it was out of spite of my malice when he had done nothing wrong. He didn’t mean all the little things he said? Was he really just joking? I never was… God I feel awful. Maybe I can hope that he thought I was joking. Which is unlikely.

“Is it hot in here or-” I jump at the sound of his voice, the glass slipping from my hand and onto the floor. It shatters in the dark, pieces glimmering in the light that still shine from my phone.

“Oh my god Jungkook!” I glare at him, yelling in a whisper, hoping that the sound of glass hitting the floor hadn’t woken Jin. What is his reasoning for creeping up on me in the dark? At almost 3:30 in the morning?

“Oh my god Eunjae.” His eyes widen, “You’re bleeding.” I look down to my foot, a piece of glass lodged into the side of the sole.

“Oh my god.” I swallow, it is bleeding. Like a lot. “Oh my god…” I feel sick, blood pooling a little under my foot, I hadn’t even felt it at first, but now I do. “Oh-”

“Don’t freak out.” he says, his voice raised from his own panic. He looks around, flipping the lightswitch and blinding both of us. “Oh my god.” He’s spinning around the room, avoiding stepping on any glass. “Where’s a broom?” He says annoyed that he can’t step any closer.

“Oh my god. Jungkook it’s bleeding all over.” I cry, looking for a towel or something, but I can’t move anyways because little pieces of the cup are scattered over the floor. “Oh fuck.” I look up, avoiding looking at it. How big is the piece? Will it stop bleeding? Will I need stitches? How can this trip get any worse? What if this ruins it? It’s bleeding a lot, the blood sticky under my heel. It hurts so bad, the sharp feeling throbbing as blood seeps out of the wound. “Please help!” I whine and he almost growls at me, searching in an open closet.

“I’m fucking looking.” He runs around to the downstairs bathroom, eventually coming around with a broom and a dustpan. “Pick up your foot.” I shake my head, not wanting to move it. It hurts. He looks at me, annoyed and then more gently. “Please pick up your foot so I don’t accidentally touch it.”

I sit back on a bar stool, my foot coming off the hardwood like a sticker. My stomach churns as blood drips down my toes to the floor. Jungkook sighs, sweeping up the floor around us until no shards are seen glimmering against the lights.

“Oh my god I’m gonna throw up.” I whine, looking anywhere but my foot.

Jungkook frowns, “please don’t it’s just blood,” but I can tell he’s not pleased with the look of it either. He takes some paper towels and tosses them on the floor where I had left a bloody outline of my foot. He hands me a rag that’s slightly dampened from the sink.

“What?” I look at him in horror, “You think that I’m going to touch it?”

Exasperated, he shakes his head, “Do you expect me to? No, no. This is your foot. I’m not touching your foot.” “I- I can’t.” I look down at it, feeling queasy. And I feel hot tears run down my cheeks. “Please…”

His nose scrunches as he looks at it again, “Man you are such a crybaby.”

“Do you want to have the glass lodged in you!” I threaten, wiping away my tears. “This is your fault anyway.”

With a sigh he takes my hand, pulling up my ankle. “Just press the rag here.” He gently sets my hand at the base of my foot, soaking up any blood that was still dripping down. “You don’t have to touch the glass.” He presses my hand slightly, the sharp edge still cutting me. “Just for a second, I’m going to go look for a first aid kit. Or something.” He pushes his hair back taking a quick breath before leaving me in the kitchen.

The glass itself doesn’t seem too long. But without knowing how much of it is in my foot, I can’t gauge if I’ll need stitches or not. It is coming up about an inch from the skin. That is pretty long right? And it’s not coming right out if I move. Fuck. What if I can’t go surfing, or swimming or walking around for long periods of time because of this? I can’t forgive myself for ruining the trip not only for myself but for the other two. I’ll just be a burden.

Jungkook comes back with a smile, “look they actually had stuff!” A wrapping of gauze, medical tape, and some sanitary wipes were in his hands. “I didn’t think they would.”

I feel my heart racing, blood pumping to my foot, bleeding more and more. If it keeps bleeding it would need stitches. That’s how it works, right?

“You aren’t holding it tight enough.” He scoffs, taking the rag from me, and holding my foot more firmly.

“Ow,” I wince, wanting to yank my foot away from him.

“You’re just letting it bleed, dummy.” He frowns looking at it, and then whines, “Why does it have to be me?” He examines the glass, “And before you say anything, yeah I know it’s because I scared you so it’s my fault.”

“Sorry.” I mumble.

“Good you should be, butterfingers.” He reaches down for the glass, making me flinch.

“Are you taking it out?” I cry, making his shoulders drop.

“What else is there to do?” He looks annoyed, I’m one hundred percent getting on his nerves. But it’s not my fault. What if the glass is really deep? And what if the bleeding doesn't stop? “What’s wrong?” He asks and my eyes begin to water.

“There’s a glass in my foot.” I clench my fists. How does he not see what’s wrong?

He huffs, with a hint of amusement. “Yeah, duh. That’s why I’m going to take it out. I can tell that you aren’t okay with it and I’m just wondering why.” He tugs on another bar stool, sitting across from me, and setting my foot on his knee. “What would you rather me do?”

“I- I don’t know.” I sniff, wishing I had a tissue. “Just, what if it’s really deep? And it doesn’t stop bleeding and then we have to go to an emergency room and then I’ll need stitches. It’s four in the morning and we’ll have to wake up Jin.” I take a shaky breath. “And then the trip is ruined. Part two.” I grind my teeth together, “I don’t want to ruin the trip…”

Jungkook shuts his eyes, “God all that anxiety is all up inside you.” He nods, patting my ankle. “Yeah that might happen… but either way we have to take out the glass to find out.” Which is nothing but a fact, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m worried. “It’s gonna be fine, Eunjae. Things like this happen,” He smiles softly, revealing his little mole under his bottom lip. It had been hiding the majority of the trip, underneath a frown. “plus if the trip does get ruined, then you can blame it on me.” I smile through the pain, “yeah, that would make me feel better.”

“Figured.” He turns his attention back to the glass. “Now I’m going to take it out, please don’t freak out. Look away or something.”

I squeeze the counter bracing for the pain, “Don’t like, just rip it out.”

“Relax. I can promise you it’s going to hurt a lot more if you’re tense.” His voice is calming, even though I can tell that he's not exactly at ease himself. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. The glass shifts as his hands take hold. I tense despite him telling me not to. It pulls out fairly quickly and I can feel a gush of blood when it’s out. Jungkook cringes, and presses the rag against it. The sting worsens, and I can feel the throbbing throughout my whole foot.

“Is it out?” I look down seeing the glass in his hand, slick with my blood. He wraps it in paper towels and throws it out. “How big was it?”

“Like a third of an inch in there.” He shrugs, “that wasn’t that bad was it?” He holds tightly to my foot, the blood seeping through the rag. He lifts my foot, giving it some more elevation.

“We’ll see.” I say shakily.

“I’d say it was worse for me, since I had to touch your foot and take the glass out.” He sticks his tongue out, “feet are gross.”

I rest my chin on my hand, trying to not pay any attention to my foot. “Yeah they are.”

“Eunjae, will you relax?” He pokes my shin, “You’re stressing me out.”

“Were you really teasing me the whole time?”

He rolls his head back, “I didn’t want that to be our subject change. Really?” But it’s too late because my mind has been reeling all day. I just want to apologize, even if he doesn’t want me to.

“Because I wasn’t joking. And if you were… that’s so shitty.” I frown, “And you said, we could pretend that we had teased each other the whole time. Were you doing that already?”

He tilts his head, staring at me. “I don’t know, sometimes.”

I pout, “I thought you were just being mean.”

He shrugs, “I mean I wasn’t teasing you to be nice.”

“But you were teasing!” I look at him, and catch his eyes before looking away again. “I wasn’t. I was being mean to be mean.”

“This conversation is just going in circles, you know that right?” His hand rests on my shin, and he squeezes it softly. “You were being mean because you thought I was being mean.”

I scoff, “That wasn’t what I should have done. I should have been nice even though I thought you were bad. I should have always been nice and maybe we could have found out that it was a misunderstanding sooner…”

“Well that’s not what happened and it's too late to change it now-”

“I just feel so awful, Jungkook.” My tears are falling again. “And- and I said some horrible things about you and to you… I am just so sorry.” My hand lifts to cover my mouth. Jungkook lets out a deep sigh, his eyes staring off at nothing. “I thought we weren’t apologizing anymore?”

I speak through the tears, “I’m sorry.”

“Eunjae…” He rolls his eyes. “Come on. You can’t feel bad for the rest of our friendship.” But couldn’t I? “We both did things we shouldn’t have and now it's over. You’ve apologized, like ten times now and I forgive you. So please let’s move on.”

“I can’t stop thinking about how mean I was-”

“Well stop thinking about it because I don’t care.” He doesn’t let me respond and moves back to my foot, uncovering the cloth. I flinch at the fabric sticking to my skin. “Sorry.” he mutters, opening the package to the sanitary wipe. “See the bleeding has already slowed. We’ll just go surfing later in the trip.”

“How do you not care? Because I care so much… and I don’t know how to stop.” I settle my breathing, “I wish I could take it back.”

He breathes in through his nose. “I care. I just don’t care about the things you said because I know that you wish you could take it back. You would never say those things again would you?”

“No”

“That’s all I care about. Right now. That’s what matters.” He wipes the sanitary wipe gently around the cut. “I wish I could take things back too, but I can’t and I know that so all there's left to do is watch what I say now.” Carefully he wipes over the cut itself, and I clench my jaw. “So I’m sorry for scaring you earlier, that wasn’t my intention.”

“I know-”

“Let me finish please…” He says quietly, “I am sorry for calling you butterfingers, and stealing the bedroom with the shower.”

I almost laugh, “Really? You don’t have to apologize for that...” He glares at me, but I can tell he’s trying not to smile. “I’m sorry for returning your comments with snide remarks all this time. I should have known that you took them personally.” His face falls, “No, I did know that, I just didn’t care and I should have. So I’m sorry.” He looks up at me.

“But you didn’t do anything wrong. I shou-”

“Eunjae just let me apologize.” He whines.

I suck it up, nodding. “I forgive you. I-”

“Good good.” He interrupts, tossing the sanitary wipes away. “We both forgive each other and now we are going to be friends?”

“I can’t tell if that's a joke or not.”

He smirks, “I’m being serious.” All his attention goes to wrapping my foot in gauze. It uses up the whole wrap to keep it secure on my foot, he tapes it for the final measure of security, and sits up from his seat. “It’s so late, but I’m not tired at all.” I’m not tired either and it is already 4:30. Time is going by so fast.

“If we don’t sleep we won’t be able to wake up for tomorrow.” I say, watching as Jungkook cleans up the floor. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wasn’t sure if I could trust you not to throw up.” The clean up is over and I get a new glass of water. “Now I can find the thermostat, I was sweating up there.” On the side of the wall by the fridge it waits for him. “Please don’t change.” The voice he uses to read the note is naggy. “It’s so hot though.”

“Just don’t wear a hoodie or sweatpants.” I mutter, helping myself stand.

He looks offended, “What and sleep naked?” He shakes his head, turning off the kitchen light.

“That is not what I said…” I squint. “Why do you have to be wearing such heavy things?” We make a slow trek up the stairs, Jungkook only talking to me who limps up each step.

“Well normally I don’t really sleep with a lot of clothing on but this is not my own bed so.”

“Just wear a shirt then…”

“But hoodies are comfortable.”

I smile, “yes they are.”

“If I could I would wear hoodies all the time.”

“What about your tattoos? They would just be covered up all the time.” We finally get up the stairs, whispering as to not bother Jin.

“Yeah that’s true, I just really think hoodies are comfortable.”

I shake my head, “yeah I get it, but that doesn’t mean you have to burn up the whole night.”

He fake pouts, pulling up his hoodie, “Since we can’t change the temp, I guess you’re right.” He lifts it over his head, his shirt going with it up his abs. I roll my eyes. Did he really just have to flash me? “Anyway, here.” He goes into his room for a moment, coming back with a pillow. “Here’s an extra pillow, put a couple under your foot to keep it elevated.”

I take it from him, “Yeah I know…” My lips purse together, and I glance into my room.

“Try and get some sleep.” He smiles softly.

“Hey Jungkook.” I breathe through my nose, and he hums. “Nevermind. It’s stupid.” My door creaks as I push it open to leave.

“No- what?” He steps away from his room and toward me. Oh boy he’ll never let me live this down.

“It’s humiliating -I” A blush creeps up onto my cheeks out of embarrassment. He gets closer, trying to regain eye contact. “Jungkook.” I look away.

“Eunjae-” his fingers ghost over my chin, a hesitancy not hidden before his fingers clasp at my jaw. I swallow upon eye contact, his eyes scanning over my face. He winks, “Is this what it was like in your dream?” And then pulls away.

“J-” my brows furrow. “Why’d you do that?”

He raises a brow, “What were you going to ask me?”

I shake my head. “No, no you answer me first, Why’d you do that?”

He grins, “To tease you of course. Why else?” I glare at him, turning away. Not before he can grab my shoulder and flip me around. “No, what were you going to ask me?”

I push him away, “No you ruined it. You’ll never know.” His face drops into annoyance. “Goodnight Jungkook.” I smile, limping backwards.

“Eunjae I wanna know.” He whines as he always does, making me roll my eyes. “Please, I'd like to carry you around or something tomorrow… Just tell me.” He makes puppy dog eyes, hands folded together all prayer like.

“No you’ve embarrassed me enough.”

He groans, “I’ll buy your dinner too.”

I sigh, that is a pretty good deal. “I was gonna ask-” My shoulders drop, and I’m not really believing that I am actually saying it outloud. “I was gonna ask if we could hug.” I glare. “There.”

He stares at me for a second. “That’s what you were going to ask me?” He looks almost amused.

“See- I didn’t want to tell you.” I groan, my cheeks still flush. How embarrassing, why did I even say it out loud? “It’s stupid.”

“No really- is that what you were going to ask me?” He softly chuckles, “that’s cute-” I shake my head, turning into my room. “No really Eunjae-” He stops me. “Is that really what you were going to ask?”

“Yes!” I step backwards, my voice raised. “Why do you keep asking that? I just said it didn’t I?” Why does he have to humiliate me further?

He sighs, “Stop doing that thing where you misunderstand me and get mad.” He steps towards me again. “You’re yelling and going to wake Jin up.” I look towards the bedroom Jin was staying in. He is right. God he is right. “Yes we can hug that’s a dumb question.”

I frown, “It’s just- we never have before and-”

“Yeah I know.” He smiles, pulling me into his chest before I can protest. “It’s because you are so repulsed by me.” His voice vibrates into my hair. “You didn’t even have to ask.”

I shake my head, trapped in his arms. “No I- I wasn’t” I look up at him, brows knitted together. “I’m not.” The guilt is brought back up again. I don’t want him to remember that.

His eyes shine between those lashes, a grin plastered on his face. “Good.” his breath brushes over my face. “Cause it really sucked when I thought you did.”

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, “It’s okay.” His eyes fall on my lips, is he thinking of actually kissing me or is he joking again? I blink, my eyes dropping to his chin. I could hug him tighter and say goodnight and then it would be over.

But his thumb drags against my cheek, pulling my eyes back up to his. Agonizingly slow, his head tilts to the side, his hair falling over his face. That tattooed hand sits against my back, holding me in his embrace. His heart is beating really fast, but it matches my own. Would he notice that? He takes a long deep breath, pressing his forehead against mine, my heart skipping a beat. Why isn’t he doing anything? Only his eye contact is consistent. I bite my gums, wanting to look away.

“I just want you to know that this time I’m not fucking around.” He whispers, leaning into my lips. His hand snakes around my neck, pulling me closer. His nose squishes against mine, lips soft and warm. The kiss I had missed in my dream. In an exhale he releases me from his tattooed arm. His eyes scan mine for a reaction.

I didn’t know what to say. “Good” is what comes from my mouth. Another dumb thing out of my lips. “I- I meant”

He laughs, “Thanks” he pinches my neck making me shrug away. Jungkook's lips meet my cheek.

“No I meant-” He shuts me up with another kiss, pulling me closer by my waist.

“Better than in your dream?” He smirks, eyeing me up and down.

“I meant that it’s-” Another kiss, his hand at the base of my neck, the other at my waist. He doesn’t let go so quickly this time. He smiles into the kiss. “Jungkook…”

“Okay,” he looks down at me, “go on.”

“I meant that it’s good that you aren’t fucking around.” I sigh, finally getting to breathe as well as speak. “I- why?”

“Why not?”

“I-”

He ruffles my hair, making me blush again. “I told you: I thought you were really cool. Mhmh. I do think that you’re really cool.”

“I didn’t think that was code for you wanting to kiss me.”

“You’re the one who had a dream about it.” he teases, “Now go to sleep, we’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

The next day:

“God did you guys like fuck last night?” Jin looks disgusted at the two of us. I choke on my orange juice. Looking wildly between the two of them.

“Where the hell did you get that idea?” I say staring deep into my breakfast. Did he have to make it more awkward? I barely even knew what to do next after last night. What was that? Are we going to date? Is it going to be casual? Will it never happen again?

Jin squints, “Well, the tension in the room. I’m used to it with you too. But DAMN, it's never been so sexual.”

Jungkook snickers, swirling around his drink “No. No we did not. Just first base.” He winks and my mouth drops.

“Jungkook!” I throw a piece of toast at him, he really is going to expose us just like that?

He flinches, smiling. “I’m actually not sure what the bases are…”

Jin runs his hand through his hair, “I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”

“Good.” I huff, biting into my breakfast. “All you need to know is the directions to the Acropolis.”

Like this? This is a one shot from my A Year of Fics with Han series found

here

Happy Jungkook day everyone !! :P

Greece is on fire click here for more information

y’all pls follow me 😭 i’m posting for joons bday as well and then i’m in a fest rn for bts abyss fest which will be on ao3!!

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twinkleallnight · 4 years

Text

A Twisted Tale

Chapter 4

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Word count: 2422

Characters: Liam, Drake, Riley, Olivia.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Mature

Warning: None

A/N: We are participating in @wackydrabbles prompt 86: “Have you lost your mind” that appears in bold.

Catch up here

An AU of The Royal Romance paving it's way through mixed emotions of wants, needs and desires, of revenge and regrets, of trust, faith and hope.

A joint venture brought to you with love by @twinkleallnight and @annekebbphotography

Olivia's PoV

Aunt Lucretia stands beside me, looking up at me proudly. She has helped me in preparing for my dinner date with Liam.

"You sure don't want to stay back until I return? You may be interested in all the things that happened around?"

She gives me a loving smile, "You have a nice time, my dear. I somehow can't tolerate the Rhys blood in my vicinity."

"Now you are overreacting aunty."

"I am not." She snarled. "The Rhys dynasty has always been unfair to the Nevrakis clan. From times unknown, they have exploited the strength and valour of our people to rule their land."

"Do you think Liam is any different? They say he is compassionate to his people unlike his father."

"Have you lost your mind? They are all the same. Try taking away the throne from him and he will show his true colours." She fumes in anger but the next moment she speaks to me in a composed tone. "Remember Olivia, what they did to my sister and your mother. They reduced our family line to the extent that we are the only two left to bear the name. Don't let your aim be deterred by this boy's few sugar coated words."

"I will not forget what you have taught me aunt." I reassure her.

"Now I need to leave before your party comes."

It is late in the evening as I stand on the terrace of my Chateau looking at the golden Sun hanging on the horizons. The sequins on my dress shimmer delicately in its fading light. I am ready, waiting for Liam when unknowingly, I leave a cold sigh. The loneliness creeps over at such times and nibbles over my train of thoughts. It brings back the painful memories of the time when I was left alone after my parents assassination.

Aunt Lucretia has already left. I ponder the way she behaved today. It's difficult to understand her sometimes. She visits me often, she is there for me, she tells me stories about my parents. But she never stays around.

The sound of footsteps behind me bring me back to the present. Fiona, my chambermaid comes to inform me of the arrival of the king. I pat my hand on the parapet, as if telling the bricked wall to keep my secrets safe until I return. A quick check in the mirror and then I sway down to the great hall to meet Liam.

I see him staring at the portrait of my forefather, Diavolos Nevrakis in the hall.

"Are you asking some dating tips from Diavolos?"

He turns and smirks at me. "Nope... I don't need it. I have Leo remember."

"They are poles apart. Just to brush up your memory, Diavolos' extraordinary courage swept away your great grandma Kenna's heart. He was loyal, Leo cannot stay with one woman for more than a week. I really doubt what you are going to be if you consider Leo as your teacher.

He chuckles as he turns to look at me completely. "If I remember correctly, Kenna ended up with my great grandpa Dom. But anyway, Leo is not that bad. He has a way with ladies. He might surprise you."

"That's the point. Nevrakis never got a chance to be with Rhys even after all the love, care and loyalty they showed."

I waddle my finger between both of us. "What chances do we have Liam?"

He walks closer to me. "Right now? None!" He looks at me with a stern look on his face. Was he hurt or angry? I have never seen Liam like this. "You have to let me in... Stop pushing me away and I will give you all of me. Only then do we have a chance."

"And it starts with dinner today?"

"Olivia, this is your only chance. I am serious. I care about you, but I need to move on if this isn't what you want." His voice is laced with hurt. "And don't lie to me....." He pauses as if he is trying to find a way to say 'I will always find out the truth.'

I smile and advance to him, holding his arm into my hands. " What has gotten into you Liam. You never were so harsh."

I need to keep this under control. I cannot let him go astray with the new blue eyed beauty he has found.

Liam pours out his feelings. "I just feel like my heart is out there and you don't feel the same. I have to protect myself."

"From me? I say wide eyed.

"From heartbreak. I will be honest. I feel attracted to Riley. I want to see where things can go. I will not lead either of you on, but you need to know that I won't take your hot and cold anymore."

My blood boils at the name of the American brunette but I keep my emotions under control.

Instead I show him that I am hurt, I know the way to soften his heart. I look at him with sad, glossy eyes. "Liam, so much for our years of bonding? You know her since what? Five days? And we have known each other since I was five years old."

I know he will take a U- turn with this

He cannot see me hurt like that.

He reaches out and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "Liv, we have been friends for years and never did you show me any sign that you wanted more than friends. Not until I showed up with Riley....." He moves his hand away and I somehow already miss his touch. "There is something about her that has me captivated and I want to get to know her. Maybe just as friends."

"I understand Li." I use his short name for the first time in years. Now I need to have some excuse. My mind is running out of ideas fast. I just blurt out. "I had my reasons to keep you away Li." I try to develop some intimacy by placing my palm softly over his broad chest. "Let's give this a chance. Seriously this time."

"We can see how it goes." Something in his eyes tells me he is hesitant. What has happened since we got here? I keep my fears aside and curl my hand around his elbow and bean at him. "Take me for our date."

"It would be my pleasure." He gives a meek smile and I feel my heart sinking. Have I already lost this battle? I respond with a brighter smile and we walk out into the cold evening.

He helps me into one of the SUVs, and then instructs the driver. "Let's go have dinner." He is not the same Liam as he always is. I feel like he is distant. I have to fix this or my plan won't work.

At the restaurant, getting out, he walks over to help me out of the car.

I look at the signboard of the restaurant and then I smile at him. "You remembered?"

I feel a knot inside. He remembers my favourite eating place.

"I did." He shrugs. "I remember everything about you." He takes my hand and leads me into the restaurant.

I feel the knot tighten with those words. 'Focus Olivia. Don't fall for the sugar coated words' aunt Lucretia's warning resonates in my mind.

We sit at the table and Liam gives me a sweet smile, but there is something on his mind.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just admiring the beautiful view."

I turn around to check the view behind me. There is just a wall.. I look back at him puzzled.

He chuckles and raises his brow at me. "What are you looking at? You are my beautiful view..."

I feel the heat rising up my cheeks.

'This is not how it was supposed to be'. "How many times have you used those lines?"

"Wouldn't you like to know. Just take the compliment."

"I am not used to such compliments Liam. Unlike you I have not had a chance to date. My life is like an open book in front of you." I laugh inside at the contrast in the last comment I made. Still to keep up the game I nod politely. "Thank you anyways."

He stares at me silently and I have no idea what to think. It's as if he is looking right through me. "Liv, you need to accept and love yourself then you will see that other people care and love you." He reaches his hand out and cups my cheek. "You don't even realize how beautiful you are." He runs his thumb along my cheek.

I shiver at his touch. I curl my fingers around his hand and gently pull it away from my cheek. I need to breathe. I need to remember why I am here. I cover his hand with both my hands, I cannot let him go. The way he is treating me is cluttering my mind with so many questions. Oh Lord! Help me! I clear my throat and try to stay in the moment. " I will try. From now. " I barely complete a sentence.

This is not going to be easy I realise. I need to speak to keep up the conversation.

"Why me?" I blurt out.

"Why not...." He pulls his hand back and takes a sip of his drink. "I.... I Can't....." the waiter shows up and Liam stops talking giving him his order.

I keep staring at him. Is he really the son of Constantine? How can he be so loving when his father was so cruel? It's like a tug of war playing between my heart and my mind.

'The Rhys blood is all the same' aunt Lucretia's voice echoes again in my mind. I straighten up to be in my character.

He says something and I realise I have been staring at him all this time and missed out on his talk.

"Huh?"

"What would you like to eat." He raises his brow.

"Why? You don't remember what I like to eat?" I tease him and that brings in a sense of satisfaction.

'Okay Olivia try to keep it platonic and you may be able to sail through this successfully.' I make a fresh resolution.

"I was just checking. You seem too far away for a moment." He gives my order to the waiter.

We keep having small casual talk as the food is served. I keep picking myself from falling for his charm all the time.

As we finish our desserts I try to continue normal chit chat. "How are things at work? Now that you have a new…'assistant'." I air quote.

"We haven't started yet. She will only start on Monday. But from what I have heard and seen, she will make my life a lot easier." He smiles as he looks out the window.

I feel a sting of jealousy even if I brought her up in our talks. "Easier? You mean we will be able to spend more time together?"

"I will have a lot of free time on my hand." He doesn't give me a direct answer.

"Hmm. I would like to see what you plan to do with that time."

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You will see soon enough."

"Liam, you do understand that if we are trying to be together, there should not be any hidden plans in between."

I am hiding my true motives and asking him to have a transparent relation. How ironic!

"I am not hiding anything. You will see what I spend my time on. That is me being honest."

"I like where this is going." I give him a sly smile and he grins back at me.

"I knew you would." He gets up holding his hand out to me.

I slip my hand into his as he clasps his other hand over it and pulls me into him. "Care to go on a long drive?"

His calm ocean blue eyes boring into me, I manage to give a slight nod.

He tucks my hand into the crook of his elbow and we walk out to his SUV.

The driver stands there but Liam signals him aside and himself opens the door for me. He then instructs the driver and rounds up to settle down beside me. The SUV wheels through the dark roads of Lythikos.

I feel the touch of Liam's fingers on my hand. I look down at my hand that is now covered with his and then I look up at him. He smiles at me and I reciprocate. As he feels encouraged with my welcoming smile, he entwined his fingers in mine. He makes small circles moving up my arm, causing the tingling on my skin.

"Where are we headed to?" I ask to distract him.

"The palace? I thought we could spend some more time together." I know he is still not convinced and I have to make him believe.

"Sure, why not."

We spend the next hour in each other's company, Liam murmuring sweet nothings and I, accepting his advances.

****************

Liam's POV

We are finally back at the palace. The time I spent with Olivia was very eye opening, she’s still guarded, but for right now I need to figure out what it is I am actually feeling. It has always just been Olivia and then this blue eyed brunette came crashing into my life and now my feelings are all over the place.

I left Olivia at her room even though she wanted me to stay. I just couldn’t. What the hell is wrong with me? I have always wanted Olivia and now I have my chance, but something is just telling me that why did it take me to bring another girl around for Olivia to finally open up to me. Why didn’t she open up to me all those times that I have made my intentions pretty clear.

I fall down on my bed as I stare at the ceiling, every time I close my eyes I see Olivia’s green eyes staring back at me and as I move closer the most dazzling blue eyes replace Olivia's and I can’t help being pulled into her even more.

I shoot up from the bed grabbing a shirt. “I need to talk to Riley. I need to know if it’s just me feeling this way.”

*************

Tags: @anjanettexcordonia @bascmve01 @charlotteg234 @choicesficwriterscreations @cordonia-gothqueen @drakewalker04 @eadanga @gkittylove99 @krsnlove @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @indiacater @jessiembruno @kingliam2019 @lisha1valecha @mom2000aggie @neotericthemis @ntoraplayschoices @princess-geek @princessleac1 @secretaryunpaid @sirbeepsalot @speedyoperarascalparty @queenrileyrose @texaskitten30 @txemrn @sfb123 @sweatyrysconnoisseur @theroyalheirshadowhunter @aestheticartsx @yourmajesty09 @grsarco-blog @lovelyladyk88

#pixelberry #playchoices #the royal romance #trr fandom #trr #twinkleallnight #olivia nevrakis #king liam #a twisted tale

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doctordaddysir · 4 years

Text

NEW YEARS THOUGHT

I was visiting my Dad last week and while on this little country road someone in front of me in an old pick up truck was driving slow, the truck seemed to stall at a stop sign or two as it drove. There was a sign on the tail gate that said "Be Nice, teaching my grandson to drive a stick". Seriously, someone took the time to put a sign on to tell other drivers behind them to have a little patience.

It worked. I didn't have a care in the world. I thought about me teaching my daughter to drive a stick, I thought about how great it was that a grandparent was teaching a grandchild to drive. My thoughts were all positive as they struggled in front of me.

When I got home to my father's I started to think more about it. Without that sign would I have been as patient and positive? Without that obvious sign would I have been behind them cursing, calling them names, saying they didn't deserve to be on the road, etc? If it wasn't me would someone else have been saying they are things about the person they didn't know?

Without that sign I don't think I would have been as positive, as supportive as I was. I found myself hoping they didn't stall at the next corner, hoping to see them less erratic, safer, smoother on their journey. I was rooting for this driver to learn and do better. Without the sign I would have been upset that they were delaying me, wondering why they were even on the road struggling that bad. I would have had much more mean and callous thoughts.

In life, on Tumblr, in the D/S world, just in general, I think sometimes we are all quick to judge, quick to dismiss, and quick to anger when we see someone that in our eyes "is annoying is" etc. I'm guilty of it, and I bet many of you are too.

The problem is we don't know someone else's struggle, we don't know why they are having difficulties, or seem erratic, seem to not know what they are doing.

If there was an obvious sign that said "I'm battling through something, please be patient with me" we would be mostly supportive and patient with them, even if you dont know them.

No one is going to hold up a sign that says "I haven't been able to afford my anxiety meds for three months due to covid, so please be a lot more understanding of my struggles".

No one is going to just give you those signs. So my goal for this year is to take a step back and try to understand more. Try not to rush to annoyance or fear or anger etc. My goal is to actively look for ways to understand someone's struggle more. My goal is to try the listen more to understand someone, and try to remember that when others are struggling I shouldn't make light of it, I shouldnt dismiss it, and I shouldn't get annoyed or angry and I shouldn't make jokes when I don't know what's going on behind those struggles.

I was way more understanding and even supportive of this stranger because they told me in big bold letters "I'm learning and I'm struggling. Be patient". Most people in real life situations aren't going to give you those signs in big bold letters, so if you're talking to a new person and they seem to have problems, don't rush to dismiss them. If you are in line behind someone at the grocery store that seems extra slow, Dont rush to get upset. If you have a partner, long distance, virtual, 24/7, etc and you see them getting distant don't rush to assume why. Open your eyes, your ears, your heart, and your mind and be more positive. If they notice your effort to be positive, supportive, or see that they aren't annoying you with their struggles maybe, just maybe, you will make their day and yours better by just not rushing to think of yourself first when you don't know what they have going on.

#doctordaddysirapproved #doctordaddysir #beapositiveforce #love #love everyone #be kind #kindness #understanding

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Six

Words: 3K

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, drug abuse

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The only sound is the clock ticking on our lawyer's desk, and the soft pattering of rain coming down.

"Just sign and initial and we'll get these back to the judge for approval." Nikki's lawyer tells us and I rub my lips together.

We both grab the pens he hands over to us, hesitantly, and Nikki clears his throat, his hand hovering over the first page of lines to be signed.

If he signs them, I'll sign them, I say to myself.

His pen presses to the paper, and it's as if he's trying to force himself to sign them...nothing happens, though.

The lawyer notices this.

"They can't be registered for approval if they're not signed." He adds, looking at the both of us.

Nikki just rolls his eyes and taps his foot, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask him softly, hoping to God he says, "no."

"Yeah, Vivian. I'm sure." He states, still looking at the papers, pen still…

I get the "V" of my signature written and he looks down and scribbles across his paper, standing up.

"Fuck this, c'mon." He hisses and I look at him, wide eyed as he grabs my hand and pulls me up.

"W-What?" I ask.

"I'm retracting." He tells his lawyer as he walks out, taking me with him.

"Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" I ask him, confused as we walk down the stairs of the law firm.

"I've broken every fuckin' vow except 'till death do us part' and I'll be fucked to hell if we stuck it out and stayed with each other after the worst bullshit just to fucking divorce." He tells me.

One Month Earlier

I went to see him to try to understand where exactly we were in our relationship, if he even really wanted a divorce or if he was just wanted to start over, but, like always…

"I don't understand why you're being so stubborn, Viv--"

"--Because you want me to sign papers you filed less than 24 hours after you freaking died, Nikki!" I whisper yell.

"I assure you, I'm well aware!" He replies in the same quiet tone. "Sign the fucking papers."

"None of my grandparents ever divorced, my parents aren't divorced, I am not getting divorced. I'm a Christian, we don't do divorce."

"Well, you're not supposed to do sex before marriage or adultery, either, but that sure as shit didn't keep your panties on." He mumbles.

"Do you really bring up who did what because I assure you, your list is a hell of a lot longer than mine." I reply.

"Oh, is it?"

"Oh, it so is and you know it is."

He covers his ears and glare at him, flaring my nostrils.

"Are you serious right now?"

"I can't hear you." He tells me and I reach across the table and snatch his hands away from his ears, scowling.

"You are acting like a child right now!" I scold him.

"Now you know how I feel while trying to get you to just sign the damn papers!" He replies, crossing his arms. "But if you stay like this I might reconsider." He adds, his eyes on my chest where I'm leaning over.

"You aren't even taking this seriously, Nikki." I shove at his shoulder before sitting back down and he chuckles.

"I am, too," He argues. "You just look good."

"You're changing the subject."

"I can't compliment you?"

"Not when it's just to change the subject."

"I'm not changing the subject."

"Just like you to file for a divorce and then not want to discuss it with the woman who's put everything into the marriage you want wiped from existence."

"Now, you're pissing me off."

"You pissed me off when I got those damn papers with no warning."

"That's a lie, Vivian, the past year has been a fucking warning--especially with the amount of times you've thrown divorce in my face if I didn't straighten up. Remember that?"

"That's different. It was incentive to get you to act right."

"I didn't have any 'act right' left in me by that point." He states. "Unless it was for you." He smirks and I kick him under the table.

"Quit being a pervert."

"That's not perverted."

"This is a serious talk, Nikki, and you're trying to get out of it."

He opens his mouth to talk but I cut him off.

"And I swear to God if you say, 'I'm trying to get you out of something,' I'm going to come across this table and make you wish you had died."

"Is that a promise?" He raises a brow.

"I forgot how ridiculously immature sober Nikki is." I hiss.

"No, no, baby, this isn't even 'sober' Nikki. This is 'I don't have even the slightest sprinkle of anything in me for the first time in ten fucking years and I'm slowly starting to lose my fucking mind just a little bit' Nikki. Now just imagine staying married to this." He explains to me and I cut my eyes.

"Why the hell are you trying to convince me to want to divorce you?"

"Because you told me to fucking divorce you, remember?"

I furrow my brows.

"The day I got home and we got into that argument and you told me to just divorce you. So I'm trying to."

"You know that's not what I meant, Nikki."

"What the fuck did you mean, Vivian, because you fucking said, 'just divorce me then'."

"I didn't mean the next fucking day."

"You're crazy." He tells me.

"I'm crazy? I tried to throw myself off of a balcony when I thought you died and you thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me hours later?! Are you sure I'm the only crazy one?!"

"You told me you wanted out--multiple times."

"And you told me you loved me."

"Oh, oh, oh, woah, woah, wait a damn minute, that was a fucking coke binge mixed with alcohol, talking."

"Wasn't much talking, just a lot of crying and begging." I point out and he shakes his head a little, rolling his jaw. "Just for you to come home and file for divorce."

"Fuck you, Vivian."

"Fuck you, Nikki."

We both puff up and pout, arms crossed, glaring at each other with "go to hell" looks.

"...So?" Doc asks us when he comes back to check in on us.

"She's still that bratty little spoiled prude that would argue with me for the hell of it that she was when I first fucking met her." He snaps.

"And he's still Satan's evil Spawn." I bark.

"I'm about to take you to the bathroom." He threatens me.

"I'd rather have sex with Bret Michaels." I shoot back.

"At the rate you're going, I believe it."

"Do we need to talk about the threesome you had with Tansy and Vanity, now, or…?"

"Wasn't Tansy." He states.

"Really? Then who was it with?"

"Let's not do this here." Doc says quietly, apparently we're getting louder than we thought, other visitors and patients glancing at us uncomfortably.

I wanna see them be married to Nikki Sixx and try to handle their shit quietly.

"Sign the damn papers, Vivian." Nikki tells me as I stand up, grabbing my purse and scoffing.

"You and your damn papers can go burn." I mumble to him.

"You know I'm right!" He calls after me, I just flick him off, turning my hand to him as I walk away.

When I get back to the house, I'm faced with the boxes I've got stacked and packed, groaning at the mess I've made trying to get our things sorted out--well, my things.

"Viv?!" Sharise calls from our guest bedroom.

"It's me!" I call back, hearing Whisky running from where she is to me.

"Hey, baby boy." I greet him, patting his head.

"I didn't know what to do with this," she carries down the big white box with my wedding dress in it. "And Sky's asleep, she's had a big afternoon with woof-woof." She states, using Skylar's nickname for Whisky.

"Aww," I say and take the box from her and carry it to the dinner table. "I haven't opened this since we got married."

"I wonder if you could still wear it." She adds and I raise my brows.

"Hell, if I know." I mumble. "I'm not gonna need it anymore."

"Oh, don't say that." She tells me.

"He's serious about the divorce, Sharise." I state.

"He's gone through a lot of stuff, Viv. You both have. He's not thinking clearly."

"Well, I am, and I don't want a freaking divorce."

"Yeah, but that's you." She reminds me. "I'm sorry it's something you're having to go through but you don't need to be with someone that wants to leave the marriage."

"I guess."

"Or you two will work things out and it'll be fine." She says next, optimistic.

"Work it out…"

I'm hunched over the toilet a week later at the house, puking my guts up, trying to take deep breaths as I think I finish, only to be met with another wave of vomit, my throat and nose burning as regurgitated stomach acid stings at it.

"Shit." I grumble to myself, taking deep breaths…

I glare at the positive pregnancy tests--the reason for my nausea, mainly.

"Damnit, Vivian." I say to myself, tiredly, trying not to start crying.

Whisky's standing under me and I just sit on the bathroom floor and cry, hugging the dog when he gets closer to me to run his nose against my hand.

What the hell am I going to do? What the hell am I going to tell Duff? What am I going to tell Nikki? I want him to stay with me but I'm pregnant with a baby that isn't even his. I know he knows about me and Duff, now, but a baby from it would be a constant reminder that, "hey, remember that time you and your wife fucking hated each other and she fucked Duff McKagan while you were overdosing?"

I hit myself internally, wiping my eyes.

I knew this was a risk, so I'm not surprised--just pissed at myself.

I'm not on birth control, I don't like condoms, I'm lucky I don't have an STD but a fucking baby with Duff?

What's my dad going to think?

What's Duff's family going to think, especially if by some miracle Nikki and I do stay together...what will happen with his chance to find someone else. Most women in their 20s in L.A. don't want to play step-mom right now.

The press will have a field day with this…

My mind shifts to Nikki's granddad.

Damn it.

I glance at the clock that reads 1:34a.m. and let out a breath, exhausted, before opening the bathroom drawer and putting the pregnancy test in it, sniffling.

I rummage through our cabinets for something to help me sleep, finding some NyQuil.

I decide to take it since the only reason I had a reaction to it last time was because I mixed it with my antidepressant, and I go lay down, looking at Whisky getting in beside me, laying on Nikki's side of the bed, my mind plucking at a familiar sight not too long ago.

"Where the hell is Nikki at?!" I hear Doc shout over the bustle backstage, and I furrow my brows, stopping my conversation with Tawny Kitaen--who's here with David Coverdale--as Doc looks at me.

"You know where the fuck Sixx is?" He snaps at me.

"No, I came with Sharise and Heather." I tell him.

"Is Nikki even fucking here?!" He shouts next.

"How the hell am I supposed to know, Doc?!" I yell back, getting pissed.

"Maybe because you're his wife?" I hear someone cut in, sounding irritated, and I slowly turn around and see Bobby Dall leaned against an amp, his arms crossed.

"Maybe lick my twat." I snap back, harshly.

"I'm missing a fucking bassist that's supposed to go on in fifteen fucking minutes!" Doc yells over everybody, making me and Bobby shut up our bickering that's about to inevitably start. "Has anybody seen or heard anything from Nikki Sixx?!"

We all glance at each other, not saying a word.

"Fuck!" He outbursts, storming away to call the office back home.

Bobby huffs out a breath and pushes past me and Tawny, while I just glare daggers into him.

It was Day on the Green, a big music festival in Oakland, California, and on the second day, Whitesnake, Poison, and Mötley Crüe were set to perform. But once it was Mötley's turn, nobody could find Nikki. I had come with Sharise and Heather. Nikki had attempted to kick smack, again, so we all thought that's what delayed his arrival...come to find out…

"I've been up three fucking days freebasing, Tommy, alright?" He snaps to a pissed off Tommy and Vince after, "You're fucking shooting up again," leaves Tommy's lips.

The guys are pissed off--the most pissed I've ever seen them at Nikki--and the fans, who've been waiting for nearly an unacceptable amount of time for Mötley Crüe, are bustling with impatience as Nikki steadily drinks from a bottle of Jack to bring himself down some.

He glances at me and snarls.

"Get her outta here. I can't do shit with her looking at me like I'm dead." He snaps to Fred and I roll my jaw and leave him be.

By the time the show goes on, it's so obvious that Nikki's out of it, his eyes wide and wild, his brain fried…

Once the part of the show happens where Vince brings out bottles of Jack for Nikki and Tommy to chug on stage, I feel my eyes water, seeing Nikki scrambling to get up where he threw himself down the stage, to grab the fifth of Jack from Vince.

He chugs half, Tommy chugs half, and when Nikki comes to grab some water to try to keep up and finish the show as strong as he can, he takes two big gulps of water and hisses a bit of it back up, coughing and hacking.

I'm assuming he grabbed Micks straight vodka by accident.

The show ends soon, and Nikki's slobbering drunk, looking tired and worn down.

"I'm fuckin' going home." He tells Doc, pushing past him. "Vivian, baby, c'mon." He tells me, surprisingly gentle, slurring and taking heavy breaths.

I think he's just that damn tired.

"You don't want to stay and try to sober up some?" I ask him, calmly.

"No, I just wanna go home." He repeats.

I tell the girls and boys, 'bye,' right before Doc hammers us with when we need to be at the airport to leave for the next shows on the tour.

I can see Nikki being bombarded with Doc, bitching him out for being late while simultaneously threatening him if he doesn't get his shit together before they do the next line of shows...his eyes growing more and more distant with each word.

"You know how many fuckin' people you disappointed tonight, Nikki?" Doc asks him next.

"Doc, he gets it, alright." I interrupt since Nikki's not saying anything to him. I take Nikki's hand and pull him to the door.

"He obviously doesn't get it, Vivian." He bites at my heels, following after us.

"I get it, you're pissed, but can we please do this another time?" I hiss, snapping around to him, glancing around at the different roadies backstage, some of the members of other bands and their girlfriends and wives looking uncomfortable with Nikki getting his metaphorical asshole torn into a million pieces by Doc.

"You've both been saying that for the past year, Vivian, so no. We can't do this another time." Doc tells me, fed up.

"Well, me and him are." I argue, turning back around and grabbing Nikki's arm to keep walking.

Nikki's not even here mentally. It's like he's sedated.

"Just go ahead and enable him, Vivian." Doc outbursts to me, still behind us with each step, and I turn and throw my fist to his face as hard and fast as I can, hearing a satisfying crack in his cheek.

Eyes widen around us, Fred is rubbing his face as he steps to us, Tommy, Vince and Mick glaring at me...they can all think Nikki Sixx married a batshit bitch.

I don't care anymore.

When we get on the plane Nikki flew in on, he sits down and stays quiet as I sit across from him.

The only thing he tells me the entire hour and a half worth of flight is, "I've fucking done it again," I'm assuming in reference to messing things up.

He locks himself in the closet when we get home, and I spend the night wide awake, staring at Whisky where he's laying on Nikki's side of the bed.

"You and me again." I say to him, reaching out and rubbing his head as he stretches.

I blink the memory back, still looking at Whisky.

"You and me again."

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

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