#I think he went insane because he couldn't bear having caused her death in ways..he didn't really see it coming

[yuseirra]

a family bigger than 4! part 6.

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / side story 1 / part 5

On weddings. I feel like I can come up with something every day...

[cinderswife]

happy new year! as a treat, i have finished snow's outfits :D she's the last in the series after cinders and rose :3 as always, lore under the cut!

nude

much like cinders, snow was designed to be in compliment to rose! we know from the album that she was beautiful and had long black hair but beyond that i wanted to make sure she looked like she could feasibly be rose's sister. she is also a bear girl <3

snow is fat! it was very important to me that she was fat with stretch marks and still extremely beautiful. so, here she is !!

i gave her a beauty mark because it's very classic hollywood beauty

you also probably couldn't actually see her tail at this angle because tiny bear tail but its so cute!

since this is pre becoming general white, she's a lot softer and gentler than her sister

fun fact: snow is actually her middle name but nobody ever calls her by her first name adelaide ever

also. this woman is so busy do you think she has the time to think about her gender and sexuality ever

dressing gown

snow is exceptionally wealthy and powerful so of course she has a monogrammed silk dressing gown. she doesn't actually wear it to sleep; she overheats way too quickly so she wears very little to bed.

entering the first appearance of snow's favorite color to wear: light blue!

yes, snow is wearing a wedding ring. since she's 29 and the head of a noble house, i figured she would be married. it was an arranged marriage to darr, the youngest child of some count somewhere because ze is entirely unambitious and willing to let snow do her thing

they also have a son together. his name is eret, he is 3, he looks up to auntie rose a little too much, his favorite animals are snakes and penguins, and he will quote space-disney at you incessantly.

duchess work dress

snow is the grand duchess of the duchy of delinore. she is the only grand duchess in the entire empire; this is the title that is equivalent to crown prince. yes she is technically his majesty king cole's heir due to being the current hereditary grimm on the throne of delinore. this is mostly a ceremonial fact since his majesty is immortal. delinore is 12 inhabited planets large and covers an entire star system which makes her perhaps the most powerful woman in the galaxy. snow is very tired all the time.

i was watching disney's snow white while designing this and the next outfit; i really like the blue and yellow look on her

this is a modular outfit! she can put on and take off the vest and cape depending on how formal she needs to be.

snow wears a lot of jewelry. this earring and necklace set was an anniversary present from her spouse!

the silver circlet atop her head is that of the duchess. you'll see it in almost every other outfit afterwards; it's like a wedding ring but for her noble status

court of stars

as his majesty's heir, snow is required to take part in the irregular meetings of his majesty's inner court: the court of stars. much of the lesser laws are handled by the council of stars and the other, lesser nobility. full disclosure: snow fucking hates this. she uses her position to do much good in the world and views his majesty like an extremely shitty and powerful grandfather she has to put up with in order to do what she needs to do. if the wedding day slaughter hadn't happened, she would still have eventually caused his death through an insane game of "political assassination cat and mouse." Y'know, different from the war.

this is the evil queen type fit. i just wanted to draw her as an evil queen okay

lorewise, this is the ceremonial outfit of her status tailored to her feminine appearance. black and red cape, deep purple dress, shiny gold jewelry, all designed to be as evil as possible

the bear clasp is the same as rose's! its the grimm family's symbol (cuz. they're all bears lol)

the dress sparkles like stars

she absolutely didn't have to go this hard with the makeup but she had fun with it. a small relief when dealing with his majesty

basically i just went really hard on the star motif

the crown is the ceremonial black iron crown of the grand duke that only ever comes out in court meetings. it's a smaller version of his majesty's black iron crown. its really heavy :(

casual

the return of the blue and yellow! this is snow's favorite color combo to wear ever <3

snow likes to wear pants when she doesn't have to deal with the many duties of being the grand duchess. it's her casual fit!

this particular set of jewelry has the snowflake motif. it's extremely on the nose which is why she likes it.

i dunno what tank tops with the extra shoulder straps are called but i thought it suited her <3

she would fully wrestle rose in this fit btw. she wouldn't win but it'd be fun!

ballgown

snow's ballgown for wearing to formal events (that she typically hosts). technically she owns a lot more, but this one is representative of her usual style. the bodice is typical, though it is a bit risque because it has no sleeves. the skirt is even moreso but she pulls it off because of her status and because she is commonly named the most beautiful woman in all the galaxy.

i thought it would be fun to put her in red! its such a loaded color in ouatis but she really pulls it off

and here's the light yellow she's so fond of <3

the boots are big and shiny and quite excessive; fully a display of wealth (especially since she's showing them off)

the drape of her skirt, rather than being modest and layered like cinders', is very form fitting and attention grabbing even without the slit

she would put her hair up but i did not have the patience to try and redraw her hair more than i had to lol

the gold jewelry she wears is big and heavy and almost armor-like. she likes it a lot

she put glitter on her makeup for this one <3

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

In My Veins (1/?)

House, M.D. Fanfic

This story takes place after the end of the series, following Wilson's death. Sorry, it had to be done for story purposes. If you've read my other fic, you know I'm a Huddy fan. This will be very Huddy. Maybe I can give them a better ending than the show.

Obviously, I don't own the show or characters. If I did, Huddy would have had a happier ending. Also, the title is based on the song "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle, which I don't own either. I highly recommend looking it up and giving it a listen. It just feels Huddy for me in regards to this story.

A huge thank you to @love-hope-faith-feels-like-a-lie for taking all of my crazy ideas and giving me honest feedback on all of my Huddy stuff, and for analyzing them with me!

This story is not as fleshed out on paper as it is in my head and will definitely be slower to update than my other fic, but it is still very much being worked on. This one is just more complicated. Please bear with me, and I hope you like what I've done! As always, feedback and comments are welcome. This story isn't as unchangeable, so predictions or something you might like to see or analyzing things are welcome too. It might be something I hadn't thought of yet.

She'd known she'd find him here. She'd known he would come after everyone else had left. She needed to see him. She just needed to know that he was okay. Her car showed to a stop, and when she got out, she saw the all too familiar figure of the man who had broken her heart... the man she couldn't help but still be in love with.

"I heard you were dead," she stated evenly as she approached the gravesite.

"I am." The familiar voice hadn't startled him. But he was very surprised she was there... and even more surprised that she didn't seem surprised to see him. "I only had you and Wilson. You left. Wilson died. Now I've got nothing," he murmured lowly after a few moments. It was useless to try hiding everything from her. She knew him almost as well as he knew her. She would wait him out until he broke. She had more patience than Wilson where he was concerned.

"I left because you drove a car through my dining room!"

"You left before that."

"When we broke up," she realized. She had expected this conversation. She'd been preparing for it the entire week before the funeral.

He just gave her a silent look. "You're not surprised to see me," he commented, looking away from her.

She just looked at him. And he could tell. "Wilson told you I wasn't really dead."

---flashback---

She stood there staring at the fresh grave, feeling... she wasn't sure what exactly she was feeling. What was she even supposed to feel? Hurt? Anger? Grief? A sense of loss bigger than she wanted to admit, bigger than she'd thought possible. When she first heard she was numb. She didn't want to believe it. There was no way the man who had caused her so much grief, who she had watched pull through so many other life threatening instances, was dead. She'd actually come to believe he was too damn stubborn to die. And then she found a wry smile tugging at the corners of her lips, despite her best efforts, as she heard the all too familiar voice of the man in question echoing in her head: "Everybody dies."

She couldn't stop the slow, silent tears as they slid down her cheeks. She didn't wipe them away either, instead allowing herself to feel, trying to process and label what exactly she was feeling. She'd told him once that she loved him, she couldn't help it. And now it was so very clear just how true those words were.

After spotting her, Wilson allowed her a few moments of privacy to grieve before walking over. "It's good to see you. I wasn't sure you'd come, considering."

Cuddy glanced up at him, brushing her finger under her eyes to try to look presentable. "Of course I'd come," she said quietly. "He was the most incredible man I've ever known." She had said those words to House only a couple years ago.

"The man did drive a car through your house," Wilson reminded her. Maybe bringing that up would remind her of all the shit House had done so she wouldn't be so upset.

"I had to see for myself that he was..." she trailed off, unable to say the word. It was completely insane, really. She was a doctor. She dealt with life and death every day. And now she couldn't even bring herself to say the word where he was concerned. "You're a terrible doctor," she could hear that familiar smug voice again. God, he was never going to be out of her head. "Maybe if I'd been there..."

"You could have, what? Saved him?" Wilson asked, arching an eyebrow.

She just gave him a silent look. She was beating herself up... she was feeling guilty that she hadn't been there to at least try to save him. For a long time she'd been the only one who could... from many things. This time she wasn't there, and now he was dead.

Wilson saw the guilt she felt at not being there to be his savior this time. "You always were his heart," he commented then, making a decision. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't going to let House keep hurting her. "He's not dead."

"Wilson..." she started, realizing her friend was probably processing his own grief and loss. He must be in denial.

"He's not. It's fake." He then went into detail about how House faked his death and the reasoning behind it.

For the second time in a week, Cuddy felt numb. And the familiar anger only House could provoke in her flared. "That son of a bitch..." she almost growled.

---end flashback---

She was quiet for a moment. "He saw me at your grave. He knew I was upset."

"I told him it wouldn't make a difference to you."

"How could you think that?!"

He shrugged. "I was already dead to you. Actually being dead would serve as an improvement. Then you wouldn't be tortured by guilt over how much you hate me."

"I've never been able to hate you, House."

"I've got a lot of memories that would beg to differ." He saw the look on her face then. "Fine, not a lot of memories. But a handful." He was quiet for another moment. "One memory."

She was silent. What was she supposed to say? That she forgives him? She doesn't. "Two, actually," she finally stated. They both knew what the first was. But at his questioning look on the second, she turned away and looked straight ahead. "You made me think you were dead," she stated lowly. She had been almost as angry at that as she had been when he drove into her house. She felt he needed to know that.

He was quiet for a moment, processing what she said. He hadn't expected her anger at his fake death, though he realized now that maybe he should have. "And yet here you are," he finally commented, studying her.

"Wilson was my friend too."

"That explains why you came to the funeral... which you already knew I wouldn't be at since I'd be keeping up the appearance that I was dead. That doesn't explain why you're HERE," he explained. "You knew I was alive the entire time. You knew coming here now, after everyone else is gone... you knew I'd be here."

The way he still knew her and could cut through any facade she could concoct about why she was there, surprisingly caught her off guard for a moment. She quickly managed to cover the shocked expression in her eyes.

"You came to check on me," he stated, unable to hide the slightest trace of an amused smile. She did still care about him...at least a little. "Why?" He couldn't help but ask, couldn't help but try to push her buttons.

She just looked at him for a moment, her temper flaring a bit as she'd seen his smile. "We all have our vices," she replied, her voice echoing the same time it had taken nearly three years ago when she'd told him that she couldn't help but love him, turning on her heel to walk back to her car. He was an ass. She should have known better than to see him. She should have just gone back to her life... left him dead. In less than five minutes, he'd already managed to open Pandora's box inside her once again. And it was true... she was an addict, same as him. He was addicted to Vicoden, but she was just as addicted to him.

Her words caught him off guard, or at least the truth in them, the implication they carried had surprised him. And he did the only thing he knew to do. He followed behind her. "Wanna get a drink?" He asked, almost allowing himself to hope.

She had opened the door already, but paused, just before she got in her car. She told herself he'd just lost his best friend... his world was probably crashing down. And for as much as she told herself no, told herself it was a bad idea, she remembered the times her world had been crashing down around her and he'd been the one there. He was there through her struggle with IVF... he'd been there when she'd lost the first baby she tried to adopt. It was time to return the favor. "Get in the car."