#I think he deserves some whimsy after everything else he has to put up with LOL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fandomlurker · 4 years ago

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A Ponderous Rewatch: In the Garden of Mindy

So today’s episode is neither a regular Pinky and the Brain skit nor a mere cameo. Today’s episode is…different, as the opening that spoofs the 1980s CBS Special Presentations pops up.

Perhaps the Warner Siblings can shed some light on this?

“Hi. We’re the Warner Brothers.��

“…And the Warner Sister.”

Look at these smug little gremlin children. You just know something is wrong when they make faces like that.

“And we’d like to invite you and all the members of your household…”

“…to gather around the TV set and join us now…”

“…for a very special episode of Animaniacs.”

“And what’s so special about it?”

“I’m not wearing any pants!”

…Wakko, you’re never wearing any pants.

Okay, okay, so we have the usual opening song and then the real explanation comes along.

“Welcome to the Animaniacs test kitchen!”

Oh no…

“We’re cookin’ up something really different for today’s show. All we need are our ingredients!”

Oh, kids, no!

“A dash of Pinky and the Brain!~”

WARNERS, PLEASE!!!

Man, the mice look so worn out. Did they…try to escape the Warner Siblings to avoid this whole thing? Like, that’s the only reason I can think of for why they look so tired as opposed to surprised or nonchalant like the other characters: They’re exhausted from attempting to run away. And for Pinky to be tired out is very, very telling.

“A cup of Slappy Squirrel!~”

Slappy is resigned to her fate.

“A tablespoon of Goodfeathers~”

I’m sorry about the smear face I managed to capture on you, Yakko.

I love how Bobby’s smirking a little, Squit is grinning like usual, and Pesto is looking at both of them like “If this is in any way you guys’ fault, I swear to the Godpigeon you’re all in for a beaking.”

“Add Rita, Runt, then swirl!~”

Meanwhile, Rita and Runt are just baffled.

“We add a pinch of Hippos~”

Why do you only have one of them?

…Wait, this is a fat joke, isn’t it? Goddammit.

“Buttons and Mindy, too~”

“Now top it off with Skippy Squirrel~”

Buttons and Flavio right now:

“What’s that make?

Animaniacs Stew!~”

Well, okay. We can at least call everything that results from this by a catchy name: The Stew AU.

“What’d we come up with?”

“Just watch…”

Oooh, children. You’ve committed a culinary evil this day.

“They’re Mindy and the Brain~”

So we’re mixing up the Animaniacs cast of characters and shows today.

[sighs]

Okay, so I guess it’s time to explain the basic premise of the Buttons and Mindy shorts and why they’re not fondly remembered, huh?

Well, the whole thing with Buttons and Mindy is a variation on the Baby’s Day Out type of scenario. Buttons the family dog is put in charge of guarding and babysitting Mindy, a friendly and curious toddler, by the mother of the family. The mother leaves to go…somewhere, and Mindy inevitably wanders off to chase after a bug or something new and interesting that she sees. Buttons goes after her because he loves Mindy very much and wants to keep her safe and be a Good Dog, and Mindy naively and unknowingly wanders into increasingly dangerous and life-threatening situations that Buttons must save her from, all the while getting beaten and bruised by the situations that were threatening Mindy.

The shorts usually end with Mindy and Buttons somehow ending up back home with Buttons ragged from the abuse he’s endured and Mindy perfectly fine except for maybe not being tied to her tether or in her playpen or whatever. The mother comes home and sees that Mindy is not quite where she was when she left her, or the surrounding area is a mess or something equally not that terrible, and berates Buttons for not taking better care of Mindy and calling him a Bad Dog.

And that’s where it ends.

If you’re not busting a gut at that description, congratulations, you are just like 90% of the Animaniacs audience.

The reason these shorts just don’t work for a lot of viewers, myself included, is that this kind of scenario is only funny once or maybe twice. After that, you just end up feeling bad for Buttons and don’t want to see a cartoon dog go through a conga line of pain that he doesn’t deserve. Not to mention that the whole premise can be boiled down to “Severe Parental Anxiety: The Show”, and not a lot of people like feeling that way for ten minutes or so per cartoon episode.

The reason the scenario works for a comedy movie like the aforementioned Baby’s Day Out is because the people going after the baby in that movie are kidnappers and obviously terrible people who only look out for the child’s safety so they can hold the kid for ransom, thus the pain they go through while the child remains okay is funny. Trying to do the same thing with an innocent family dog that just wants to keep a toddler safe? Not very funny at all. It’s just sad.

“Mindy and the Brain!

One’s a small child,

And the other’s…the Brain!~”

So now we have a Buttons and Mindy episode with Brain filling in for Buttons. Already this is…not great, but I suppose it’s the only suitable fit for Brain because he’d have it so, so much worse if he was put in the cast of the other skits.

I like the Goodfeathers skits, but I feel like Bobby and Pesto wouldn’t put up with his world domination shtick and end up berating him and/or beating him up. And Squit? Squit’s a do-gooder but he definitely doesn’t have Pinky’s level of passive subordination. Brain would be completely out of his league.

This isn’t to say that I wouldn’t want to see Brain interacting with the Goodfeathers, because holy shit yes PLEASE I would love the chaos that would ensue. I just think Brain wouldn’t last on his own with them.

Brain would, again, be completely out of his element in a Slappy Squirrel cartoon. Slappy’s skits hinge on her being a senior Looney Toon-type who knows just how to handle absurd scenarios and villains. Brain gets lost and confused incredibly quickly when unexpected situations pop up. He’s not a quick thinker in general. He’d be toast.

Being inserted into a Rita and Runt skit… Well, Rita wouldn’t be a good partner for obvious reasons that will become even more apparent later. And Runt is kind and a bit dimwitted but he’s no Pinky. Runt isn’t the type to be interested in helping to take over the world. He just doesn’t have the skills to do…almost anything that Pinky can, and he doesn’t have the drive to do it. Runt just wants a home and that’s it.

As for the Hip Hippos, there’s a skit of theirs down the line where Brain is involved and it honestly turns out about as well as it does for Brain in this episode.

So, let’s see how Brain fares in a world without Pinky.

“He uses his lobe

To overthrow the globe!~”

Also, we’re again treated to TMS doing the animation, which certainly elevates this skit quite a bit.

“She’s whimsy,”

I love how Brain goes from shock and surprise to absolute petulant grumpiness after seeing that Mindy put him in a jar.

“They’re Mindy and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!~”

If only this was the extent of your humiliation today, Brain. If only.

[Various raspberry and baby babbling noises]

“Hi, Lady!”

“It’s ‘Mom’.”

This is honestly the only joke I ever liked in the Buttons and Mindy shorts. Apparently it was based on something a real child of a friend of an Animaniacs creator would say to their mom.

“Now listen, honey, mommy has to go to a better parenting conference. You stay right here and play.”

A “better parenting conference”, huh? Lady, you need it more than you know. For many reasons.

“Okay Lady, I love you, buh-bye!~”

Is anyone else getting a horrid sense of foreboding and dread from Mindy’s doll looking like a simplified Elmyra?

“Now, Brain, you keep an eye on Mindy while I’m gone.”

Nothing like leaving a mouse in a cage in charge of a toddler, huh?

Gosh, brain’s so adorably chubby in this episode. Look at him. Look at that grumpy face and that pudgy belly.

“I always get an attitude from him…”

Yeah, he’s… Yeah. That’s Brain, all right.

“At last, that meddler is gone! I’m free to begin my plan to…conquer the world!”

I love that back shot of Brain so much. It’s perfect. That’s the perfect Brain proportions and I can only dream of being able to draw cartoons that well.

“First, I’ll use telepathy to open the cage.”

C-come again? “Telepathy”?

Brain, honey… You’re looking for the word “telekinesis”. You should know this.

Also I guess Pinky’s not the only one with telekinesis capabilities.

The fact that he cocks his head to the side when he turns the trowel with his mind is a nice little detail.

“Now to get Mindy…”

That strut, though. He’s a mouse on a mission.

“Come, Mindy, it’s time for us to conquer the world!”

...Okay, I’ll say it: Mindy is very cute in this shot.

Meanwhile Brain...looks like a gremlin.

“Why?”

“By right of superior intelligence, I am best suited to guide the destiny of this planet.”

Careful, Brain. You’re getting dangerously close to--

“Why?”

“My empirical powers give me the mandate.”

BRAIN, this is starting to sound like eugenics...!

“Why?”

“Because it’s something I want to do!”

Oh lord, without Pinky to reel him in and remind him of all the real reasons he wants to conquer the world, the Brain of this universe has devolved into a mouse driven purely by ego and spite.

His little tantrum is adorable, though.

“Okay, I love you! [MWAH~]”

“I am uncomfortable with that.”

The Brain be like: What is this...”affection” you speak of? This is new and scary to me.

“Now listen closely, Mindy: Using the gardener’s weed killer, manure, and a little zoysia grass,--”

Zoysia grass is an actual thing, by the way. It’s the kind of grass you see mostly on golf courses.

“--I will construct a powerful stink bomb!”

GAH! No need to punctuate the term by making your eyes bulge, Brain.

“We’ll use the lawn mower engine to construct a rocket and fill it with the gas. When precisely launched, the prevailing winds will spread the gas across the world’s capitals.”

As impressed as I would be with you being able to make a rocket from a lawn mower engine, Brain, it’s kind of overshadowed by you doing that thing again where you make a drawing animate like a video. Another strange power to add to the list, I suppose.

“As the stench drives the government officials out into the streets, we will rush in and seize power!”

Good lord, Brain, calm down. You’re gonna break that pointing stick!

“You understand?”

“Mousey!~”

You’re...not very good with kids, are you, Brain?

“Pretty Brain mousey…!”

“I am mortified.”

I don’t see why, you look positively precious.

“Little mousey big head!”

Mindy, dear, I too wish to squish this cute little megalomaniacal mouse sometimes but you’re doing it way too hard.

“Put me down, Mindy, or I shall have to hurt you.”

“Okay, I love you, buh-bye!”

The Brain: [is a mouse with genius intellect and gadgetry know-how with the drive to take over the world]

Also The Brain: [gets dunked on by a toddler merely dropping him on the ground]

“I sense I’ve completed the first step of my plan: Finding manure.”

That’s one way to look on the bright side, I suppose.

Sweetie, you’ve got something stuck on your head still.

“Pungent aroma, if I do say so.”

“Now to construct the rocket…”

...Why would you take the mask off now? You’re still right over top of the stink bomb! Brain, have the fumes messed with your thinking abilities already?

I do like the animation of him tearing the mask off, though.

“Buggy! Buggy!”

“All right, Mindy: Bring me the mower!”

If you ever need a pose that sums up Brain perfectly, it’s this one right here. This is him distilled down to his purest form. God bless TMS for this.

“Soon the world will be mine!”

Uh, yeah, about that...

“Woooow! Buggy go fast! Wheeeeeee!~”

“Whoooooaaaa! GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

“Beh, peh, EUGH!”

Brain’s plans go to shit really fast without Pinky around. Sometimes quite literally, it seems.

“Buggy go ‘round!”

[Running in the 90s starts playing]

“Ahahaha!”

Don’t worry folks. As always, Mindy is okay. Brain, however...

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

Something I missed on my first viewing of this episode: the grass around Brain’s feet as he walks around covered in his stinkbomb juice dies near instantly.

“Wahahahaha! Silly Brain!”

“This is most unexpected.”

Is it, though? Is it really, Brain?

So, uh, something that caught me off-guard while watching this for the first time is what happens next.

Pinky and the Brain is, obviously, a Warner Brothers cartoon with some Looney Toon sensibilities. Despite that, though, while there is the occasional being-flattened-like-a-pancake or being-covered-in-soot-after-an-explosion types of cartoon slapstick and such, it doesn’t really go much beyond that when it comes to cartoonish injuries and such. The worst I’d ever seen it get in this show is at the end of Opportunity Knox when Pinky and Brain are all wrapped up in bandages and some of their fur has been scraped off raw. Even then, that was surprisingly “graphic” for the show.

But this upcoming bit?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! D8

--was my reaction the first time. It’s not bloody and gory, but seeing Brain being sliced into sections by a lawn mower is just...startling, to put it mildly. To my knowledge (and well, it has been decades since I regularly watched the show, so take this with a grain of salt), the Pinky and the Brain Animaniacs sketches and the spinoff never does something this Looney Toons to them.

And what really gets me is that he’s not just cut into sections with his eyeballs popped out, it’s that there’s an obvious hole in the middle of each section??? For some reason??? What that to imply space for his skeleton?!? A creamy center filling?!?

TMS, you could have just animated him in sections like some kind of mousey marshmallow, why did you include the holes?!?

[Press F to Pay Respects]

“Bleh! Brain smell like poo-poo!”

“I must re-think my present career…”

Honestly, Brain? Without Pinky to help you, I’d say it’s a good idea to just try and escape this family first and then maybe try on your own to take over the world. You might have a slightly better chance then.

“What’s that horrible smell?! Is that you, Brain?! Have you been allowing Mindy to feed you old cheese again? Bad mouse! Bad, bad mouse!”

Wait, “again”?

“…I hate being chided.”

You know, it’s interesting how he says that about this human woman chiding him, but in the regular Pinky and the Brain universe Pinky will sometimes chide Brain for doing something dubiously immoral, and while he may hate it there too...he more often than not backs down and admits to his faults when it’s Pinky doing it.

“But she’ll be gone soon, then I can begin my plans for tomorrow: Another plot to take over the world!”

“But first: A bath.”

I mean, yeah. Priorities.

“He’s stinky,

They’re Mindy and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!~”

Well, I never thought we’d get a Brain bath scene until the comics but here we are.

I wonder if Pinky would find it equally as appealing to watch as that one...

Okay, that sure was...an episode. Let’s see how the other half of the equation is doing.

“They’re Pinky and the Cat!

Yes, Pinky and the Cat!

Her name is Rita,~”

Oh NO...

I love the contrast of these two shots. It’s as if Pinky’s self preservation instinct kicks in only long enough for him to be vaguely worried about having a cat in his cage...and his lack of attention span overtakes it and he does whatever the hell this is.

“He’s a lab rat!~”

“A mouse!”

At least he still has it in him to be offended enough to correct the Warners about his actual species.

“They live inside a cage,

Making less than minimum wage.~

Aww...

Oh, Pinky, sweetie... I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what’s about to happen.

“It’s dinky,~”

“They’re Pinky and the Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat!~”

Pinky making faces in the reflection of the water bowl is another bit of animation that’s used in the spin-off’s opening theme. It’s kind of weird to pull something from this particular segment, but whatever.

“What do you want to do tonight, Rita?”

It was so difficult to get a shot of Pinky’s cute little coy stance here, but it was worth it. Look at this cute, naive little mouse. He just wants to be friends, Rita!

“I dunno, eat you for supper?”

[GULP]

[Press F to Pay Respects...Again]

“So far, this is my favourite episode.”

“Narf! Oh, roomy accommodations, Rita!”

Don’t worry, folks, he’s fine! Yup. He’s okay somehow.

Lord, I hope this didn’t awaken a vore fetish in anyone.

“She ate the rat

‘cause Rita is a cat, cat, cat, cat, cat!~”

So yeah, that’s the end of this little experiment by the Warner Siblings. Well, the end of what’s relevant to this blog series, anyway. There’s also a skit with Pesto and Runt trying to find a home, which is honestly the best one out of this whole bunch of AU one-shots.

Then there’s a Katie Ka-Boom and Chicken Boo crossover, which is as underwhelming as you can imagine.

There’s a short where Dot takes the place of Slappy Squirrel, which goes about as well as it can after the theme song repeatedly calls her “Dottie the Squirrel”.

Lastly, Slappy takes the place of Dot in a Warner Siblings skit (with a cameo with Flavio as Skippy) where the Warners barge in on a very thinly veiled parody of Saddam Hussein and, uh... Well, it’s about as awkward to watch as it sounds. Props to Slappy for not really being interested in any part of that skit, though.

Man, after this utterly bizarre set of skits, I think we really need that full episode length Pinky and the Brain episode, don’t we?

Soon, folks. Soon.

See you then!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #In the Garden of Mindy #Pinky and the Cat

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ohmightydevviepuu · 5 years ago

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our little life (rounded with a sleep) / chapter 3

our little life (rounded with a sleep) chapter three

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful detective. She had blonde hair, green eyes, no family, and she was good at finding people; in fact, she proclaimed this on her office door. “Swan and Humbert,” it said. “Private investigations, missing persons, and bail bonds.”

Only lately, she's been thinking that maybe it should say "Emma Swan: Loner, Loser, Complicated wreck."

Her partner's been killed on a case after she made a deal with her landlord to find what had been taken from him. But when she tracks a possible perp to a bar on the outskirts of town, Emma will find out exactly how deep the rabbit hole goes.

always, always, always because of @thisonesatellite and @profdanglaisstuff thank you AGAIN to the amazing team at @captainswanbigbang

cw: canonical character death rating: T/M (implied violence, language) AO3 chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

chapter summary: Emma’s tracked down her suspect but then he looks into her eyes like he can see her, like he recognizes her--

And it’s a big fucking problem. She doesn’t trust him. They are not a team. No matter what he says or how blue his eyes are when he reads her like an open book.

“I’m sorry if I’ve kept you waiting,” James Hook said. “A woman such as yourself deserves my full and prompt attention.”

His voice was familiar; exactly as she had heard it in her dream down to the cadence of his accent.

“Does that line ever work?” Emma asked.

His eyes twinkled with appreciation. “I,” he said seriously, “will let you know, yeah?”

He was wearing eyeliner, kohl smudged around his eyes. Blue button-up shirt--partially undone, matched his eyes, would look even better on the floor--buttoned waistcoat, jeans that showed off his--

Fuck.

Emma needed a drink before she ended up like one of the co-eds.

“MacCutcheon,” she said simply.

“How do you like it?”

“In a glass,” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Tough lass,” he said with a laugh, pouring her a shot.

“Yeah, well,” she said, picking up the shot glass and downing it in one. The condensation left a ring on the cocktail napkin. “It’s been a long day, and I’m thirsty.” She looked around, taking in more of the place--anything to look at instead of staring at Hook and his partially-unbuttoned shirt. “What’s with all of the swords?” Emma asked, gesturing at a wall covered in weapons.

The Rabbit Hole fell on the upside of ‘dive’, but only just barely. Maybe it was the Edison bulbs. The soft yellow glow gave everything a patina of ‘vintage’ instead of ‘grimey’.

“And what are those, boat hooks?”

“Aye,” he said.

“What are you, some kind of sailor?”

“In another life,” he said, the fake grin stretching across his face, “I served in the Royal Navy.”

“You’ve practically got an armory in here,” she said.

“That’s the idea,” he agreed.

“You don’t seem like the type of guy to collect old-fashioned weapons.”

“Aye,” he said again, the eyes twinkling--again. “I collect blondes from bottles, too.”

Emma was a natural blonde--probably another legacy from one of her parents. She returned his gaze and said only, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

There it was: the real smile. “Perhaps,” he said. “Perhaps I would. James Hook.” He held out his right hand to her, and Emma shook it, which was when she noticed that he only had the one.

“I know who you are,” she said.

“Ah,” he said. “So you’ve heard of me? Well, it’s always nice to leave an impression.”

“Oh,” Emma said. “You have. You’re handsome, and charming--”

“Do go on,” Hook said, shifting his weight against the back counter.

“The kind of guy who--now, stop me if I’ve got this wrong--steals a man’s wife and leaves a boy motherless, then keeps up the grudge by breaking into his home and stealing from him again.” Emma watched him during her recitation. This was her favorite part: skips always broke down when the hot piece of ass they’d been planning on nailing turned the tables and cuffed them.

Not in the fun way, either.

But Hook just looked at her, stepping forward again and bracing his elbow against the bar, his chin in his hand. His fingers curled against his upper lip, his eyes were wide and innocent, and the fake grin had returned; the change was so smoothly done it was--almost--imperceptible.

“Sounds like a lovely tale,” he said. “But I’m going to wager the truth is rather more gruesome.”

Emma was calm. She was focused. And he was not lying.

“Besides,” Hook said evenly, “I’m going to need you to be a mite more specific in your accusations; you see, I’ve had many a man’s wife.”

“And I need you,” Emma said, matching his tone, “to return what you’ve stolen.”

His smile--the fake smile--faltered. Just for a second. “Tell me something, love,” Hook said, leaning into her personal space, his eyes never leaving hers, “If a woman comes to you and begs you to take her away, is that theft?” He ran his tongue over his lower lip and winked at her.

“But--why would she leave him?” Emma asked before she could stop herself. The son, they had a son--

What were they even talking about?

“Because he was a coward,” Hook said easily. “Because she loved me.”

Emma pulled herself away from his gaze. Whatever was going on here--he wasn’t lying.

“So, lass,” he said, “you know who I am, but you won’t even tell me your name?”

“What fun would that be?” Emma said.

“If you’re helping Rump--Gold,” Hook said, with particular emphasis on the name, “I’m afraid you’re fighting for a lost cause.”

“I’m not fighting for anything,” Emma said, “except for my fee. Tell me what you know about Graham Humbert’s death.” She grabbed his wrist. “And I’m gonna let you in on a little secret--I’m pretty good at knowing when someone is lying to me.”

“He came in here the other evening, on the hunt,” Hook said, biting down hard on the ‘t’. “He often did. It’s rather a target-rich environment, as you can see.” He gestured at the crowded room and leered. “That’s the last time I saw him.”

Emma smiled, the kind that showed no teeth, that was small and controlled, and tightened her grip on his wrist. With her other hand, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, unlocked it and scrolled to David Nolan’s entry. “He came here looking for you the night he died,” she said. “A fact I think the sheriff--” Emma held up the phone to show him “--will find fascinating, don’t you?”

He started to pull away, but Emma twisted his wrist just enough to put pressure on it--enough that pulling away would make a scene and potentially force someone to call the sheriff anyway. The singer finished a song to a scattering of applause, and Emma kept her grip and her gaze on Hook.

“Well done, lass,” he said. Emma let go of him and his hand reached up to rub the back of his neck. He had rings on two of his fingers and his thumb, and a freaking earring, a black stud. “You’ll be Emma Swan, then.”

“There goes my air of mystery,” she deadpanned.

“On the contrary, love,” Hook said, licking his lips again. “You’ve bested me. I can count on one hand the number of times someone has done that.”

“Is that a joke?” Emma said drily. “Because you’re a terrible liar.”

“Ask me what you’ve really come here to ask, Swan,” he said, and something in his face had shifted, like he had dropped the act of whatever part he was trying to play. His eyes were serious and the tone of his voice had lowered.

“Did you kill him?”

“I did not,” Hook said.

Emma believed him. Shit.

“Now then,” Hook said. “Emma Swan. Bail bonds, private investigations. Twenty-eight years old?”

They weren’t in the bar anymore.

According to the paperwork Graham had pulled, Hook had owned The Rabbit Hole for more than twenty years--clearly a typo as the man appeared exactly as Gold had described him: mid-thirties, no more, no less. It was difficult to picture him running off with a woman Gold’s age.

He’s older than he looks, Gold smirked, and had looked at Emma in a way that made her want to shower. And rather partial, I’m afraid, to brunettes.

Emma had confirmation of this, at least, when Hook had called out to a beautiful brunette in a micromini, tights and an artfully ripped t-shirt. Lacey, my darling, cover for me here, will you?

She’d laughed and given him--and Emma--a wink, and it was obvious what she thought Hook and Emma were doing, and why they needed cover. I’ve got this, Jamie, she’d said.

And he’d taken Emma to a small but immaculate office, dimly lit, rimmed with books, and offered her a chair with a bow before taking a seat behind the desk. She’s new, Hook had said of Lacey, but she does the job like she’s been here for decades. Something about that had amused him; Hook seemed consistently to be amusing himself with jokes only he understood. Any man who kept a skull-and-crossbones on the wall was definitely a man with an unusual sense of humor--in fact, this room had a distinct nautical theme, with a red flag draped above the black one and an honest-to-goodness ship in a bottle on his desk, and it was all a far cry from the badly-curated murder-tinged whimsy that made up the decor of the main bar.

“That’s oddly specific,” Emma countered. “Do I, like, get a prize if you’re right?”

“An educated guess,” Hook answered, and said nothing else as his eyes settled over her. Emma felt like she was being evaluated; not the first time that had happened, and she had no idea what he thought he was looking for.

“So, then,” he said. “Your Graham Humbert came looking for me.”

“He wasn’t my anything,” Emma said quickly. Maybe too quickly.

“Aye,” Hook said. “Of that I’m well aware.” He twisted his thumb against the metal of one of his rings and broke eye contact, looking down and away from her. “We weren’t friends, you know. Barely even acquainted. But you might say that we had certain connections in common.” Hook looked at her quickly and looked away again. “I hadn’t seen him in as long as I can remember.”

There was something strange underlying the words. Not a lie, but not the truth. And something about the phrase tickled Emma’s memory, like she had heard it somewhere before.

“He was involved with Regina Mills,” Emma said, realizing it at the same moment she said it.

“Indeed he was.” Hook made a sound, almost like a bark, and it took Emma a moment to realize it was a laugh. There was no amusement in it. “You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but she rather held his heart in her hands.”

Emma winced.

“Apologies, love,” Hook said quickly, and with apparent sincerity. “That was in rather poor taste, I admit.”

“You were too, weren’t you?” Emma asked instead of acknowledging his half-assed apology. “Involved with her?”

Another harsh laugh escaped him. “Indeed I was,” he said, “though not in the way you’d think. I did some work for the family. A long time ago.”

Emma smirked. “A man who used to be a sailor and now owns a bar?”

“‘Used to be’ is right, Swan,” he said, “but one might consider the bar payment.” He did that thing again, where he over-emphasized the harsh consonants. “For services rendered.”

“You realize you are the only one in this entire neighborhood who owns their property outright instead of paying rent to Robert Gold?”

“Am I?” He examined his fingernails. “That’s fortuitous.” It was obscene, the way Hook made words sound, but Emma knew a distraction when she saw one. This man used words as deflections, armor not unlike her collection of leather jackets.

“She came to see me,” Emma said.

“Did she?” That got Hook’s attention. “And what did you think of Her Majesty the Queen?”

“Her what now?”

“Regina, love. Latin.”

“You speak Latin?” Emma’s eyebrows definitely went up.

“And Greek,” he pointed out, smirking.

“They teach you that in the Royal Navy?”

“Something like that,” he agreed.

Emma’s head was beginning to hurt. This was shaping up to be the world’s worst first draft of “Who’s on first”--she wasn’t getting anywhere, and she needed another drink.

“What did she want?” Hook asked, and for the first time, there was genuine curiosity in his tone. He twisted behind him, pulling out a bottle, then repeated the process and came up with two glasses pinched between his thumb and forefinger, placing one in front of her. He pulled the cork with his teeth, poured himself a shot, and then gestured at her with the bottle.

Emma gave him a look.

“You’re something of an open book, Swan,” Hook said, the picture of innocent hospitality, “or did you not want another drink?”

“Regina wanted to know,” Emma said, ignoring his outstretched hand, “what I was doing about Graham’s death.”

“Don’t make a man drink alone, love.”

“I don’t want a drink,” she lied. “Or a man.”

Hook pouted. “Now who’s not telling the truth?”

Emma took the bottle from his hand and poured herself three fingers’ worth.

“I do find that spirits can be an excellent solution to so many of life’s problems,” Hook said with false cheerfulness, “so I am glad to see that you are making progress.”

Emma left the glass on the desk and leveled a glare at him.

“Are you?” he said, raising his eyebrows, “making progress?”

There was a knock on the door at the same time as it opened, and a young man stepped in. Nearly as tall as Hook, he had long, dark blonde hair that he’d slicked back, leaving some fringe to fall messily at his temples.

“Alright, Liam?” Hook said.

The young man--Liam--coughed and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, only Lacey said you were back here--”

“And you wanted to interrupt?” Hook asked, a mix of exasperation, fondness and something sharper in his voice.

Liam shrugged.

“Swan,” Hook said, “allow me to present my lit--younger brother, Liam, who was just leaving.”

Emma nodded at him, with his slightly-less-blue eyes and the curious way they watched her.

There was a look in Hook’s eyes as his brother walked out that Emma was not prepared to acknowledge. She pushed her untouched tumbler of rum back toward him and snapped, “Enough. Why did Graham come here to see you?” Emma demanded.

Hook shrugged.

“He tracked you down through property records,” Emma said. “Because the Mills Organization paid you in real estate for work you did for them a long time ago?”

“So it would seem,” he said.

“You know it says on the deed that you’ve been the owner here for as long as I’ve been alive?”

“Does it?” he smirked. “And yet I’ve retained my youthful glow.”

There it was again--not a lie, but not the truth.

He’s older than he looks.

Emma sat, toying with the tumbler she had pulled back toward her seat, running her forefinger around the ring of the glass and saying nothing.

“What can I say, Swan,” he said. “‘I contain multitudes.’ Not unlike your Graham Humbert.” He looked at her as though he was expecting a reaction; Emma stared at him.

“Is that supposed to mean something?”

“Ah,” he said, as though to himself. “Not a believer, then--well, surely that will stop you getting killed.”

Hook considered her for a moment before tossing back his shot, then said: “Walt Whitman, lass. American poet.”

“Didn’t study poetry at any of the high schools I got kicked out of,” Emma said. “What does my listening to you recite poetry and mutter to yourself have to do with Graham?”

Hook shook his head. “Absolutely nothing, love,” he said. “Merely pointing out that you might be surprised by what they teach you in the Royal Navy.”

“You don’t know anything about what I believe,” Emma said sharply.

His blue eyes blazed. “I know that everything you think you believe is wrong,” he said.

“A man is dead, Hook,” Emma said. “I need you to stop fucking around and give me back whatever it is you’ve taken.”

“She’s dead, Swan,” he said sadly, the fire gone just as quickly as it had come, “and whatever that bloody crocodile has you looking for, I don’t have it.”

He had that look again.

Crocodile.

“Just like Milah, when the crocodile took her from me.”

“His wife?” Emma said. “Look, I’m sorry she died, but Graham--Graham was murdered.”

“Died,” Hook snorted. “Like it was some kind of accident--”

“That’s not what I said,” Emma protested, feeling suddenly on the defensive.

“--lass, it was no more of an accident than Humbert laid out in the alley.” Hook poured himself another shot and held it. “And you, Swan, helping him? I fear we’re working at cross purposes.”

“I’m just here to retrieve something on behalf of my client,” Emma said, exasperated and confused, “and to get paid Same as Graham, only he ended up dead and I would prefer to avoid that.”

“It’s a shame, really, Emma,” he said, apparently not listening. “I think we could make quite the team.”

“And what,” Emma wanted to know, “would our objective be?”

Hook paused and looked at her before he drank the second shot, and Emma still had no idea what he was looking for. He took a breath and said: “To avenge your partner,” he said, as if it would be that simple. “To exact revenge on the man who took my hand, Rumplestiltskin.”

“Swan!” Hook called, rushing after her. “Swan, wait up!”

Emma was ten or fifteen feet out the door of The Rabbit Hole when she doubled back quickly and pushed herself against him. “Whoa!” she cried. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.”

Hook smiled at her and pulled them closer together. “It’s about bloody time.”

Emma hit him. “I seem to have a shadow,” she said, gesturing at the figure running into the darkness--the one that had lunged itself at her and forced her up against Hook.

“I suppose,” Hook said, pretending to consider it, “that’s a plausible excuse for grabbing me, but next time don’t stand on ceremony.”

Was the man insane? “Do you have any idea what you sound like right now? Who the fuck is Rumplestiltskin?”

Hook’s face fell. “I sound like a crazy person,” he said. “Apologies, love, I realize Humbert didn’t--” He paused, took a breath. “Would you settle for ‘dashing rapscallion’?”

“Excuse me?” Emma stuttered.

“As opposed to ‘crazy person’, Swan,” Hook pushed, and then leaned in closer at her continued silence, angling his head so their eyes were level. “Scoundrel, perhaps?”

He was close enough to--

He was very close.

“I think, Swan,” he said, very softly, his eyes boring into hers, “that you are not the only one with a shadow. Don’t turn,” he warned, “just look at me.”

The full focus of this man’s attention was nearly unbearable. Emma desperately needed to break eye contact and maintain her wits, which was how she noticed the red streak on his shoulder.

Where she’d grabbed him.

Unfortunately, that drew his eyes to the spot as well, and he knew immediately what it was.

“Swan,” he said, and he sounded disappointed. “You’re bleeding.”

“It’s nothing,” Emma insisted. “Just, the jerk who came after me must have had a knife or something.”

“Give me your hand,” Hook said.

“What?” Emma said, trying to pull away.

He wouldn’t let her. “It’s cut,” he said, getting impatient. “Let me help you.”

“No,” Emma said, taking a definitive step back. Hook countered by stepping forward, back into her personal space. “It’s fine.”

“Swan,” he sighed. “It’s not.”

And he ran his hand down her arm, curling his fingers around her wrist and lifting it for closer inspection, balancing her hand on his left wrist against his prosthetic.

“I’m not taking medical advice from a man who has named himself after a character in a fairy tale and who thinks my client can spin straw into gold,” Emma muttered. “Not even when he suddenly decides to be a gentleman.”

Hook’s face twisted, that already-familiar smirk pulling at his mouth as he took something out of his pocket. “I,” he said, and his tone was serious in spite of his expression, “am always a gentleman.” He looked at Emma through eyelashes that were thicker than hers were after several rounds of lash primer as he repeated his bit with the cork and moved to pour the contents over the small slash in her palm.

“What is that?” Emma asked suspiciously, then swore as the liquid hit her skin.

“It’s rum,” Hook said. “And a bloody waste of it.” He handed the flask to her before she could refuse and pulled out a handkerchief from his coat pocket, pressing it into her hand before Emma could try to pull away again and tying it off with his teeth.

Just--his teeth . Why?

His eyes never left hers, not even as he stepped away from her.

“He’s gone,” Hook whispered.

Emma sighed and took a swig of the rum in resignation. “Scoundrel it is, then,” she said, taking a definitive step backward and crossing her arms across her body in the universal signal for back off. Because she knew what he was doing, she had seen this movie before, and it hadn’t ended well.

They were not a team.

They could not be a team.

“Why were you following me?”

“I wanted to continue our conversation,” he said. “Is that so hard to believe?”

Emma shook her head slowly.

He grinned, shrugged. “And," he said, "I would like to see Regina Mills. I was hoping you would be so kind as to facilitate transportation.”

“You don’t drive?”

“I don’t drive a car,” Hook said. “It’s not by choice that I live here in the city, love, it’s by necessity.”

Emma felt her resistance wavering. “What makes you think I’d be willing to help you?”

“You seem,” Hook paused, as if searching for the correct word, “motivated.”

“What happened to cross purposes?”

“I look at this very simply,” Hook said. “I help you get what you want, and it gets me what I want. No more, no less. Besides, I find that I quite fancy you--when you’re not yelling at me, that is.”

“I don’t understand you,” Emma said.

“The mystique is part of my charm, I assure you,” Hook said, raising his eyebrows.

But she had already given in to whatever scheme this was, had given in the minute she pushed herself against him.

The minute he had held her arm and pushed into her space.

Emma gestured for him to go ahead, and they started walking to her car. Hook took in the careworn yellow Beetle with a grin on his face. “Quite a vessel you captain here, Swan,” he said, pulling the door open on the passenger side.

“It seemed like the best choice at the time,” Emma said softly, meaning it, momentarily hating herself for how wrong she had been--and how much this felt like the same beginning all over again. She ran a quick address search on her phone and came up with nothing; it was odd, given the extent of the Mills Organization’s influence.

“I know where she lives, lass,” Hook said. “I’ll navigate.”

Emma pulled out of her spot, the silence growing between them, interspersed at odd intervals with his muttered directions until he spoke. “You know, Swan, most people would find your silence off-putting, but I should warn you that I love a challenge.”

“No challenge,” Emma said. “I’m not looking for someone who’s gonna give his heart to the world, or some true love riding to my rescue.”

“But?” Hook prompted.

“I mean,” Emma said, dripping with sarcasm, “somewhere in the universe, there's gotta be a guy who'll keep me warm when I'm cold, feed me when I'm hungry and maybe, on occasion, take me dancing.”

“No,” he said. “That’s not it. You’re afraid--to talk, to reveal yourself.”

“Am I?” Emma said flatly. “What are we doing now? What happened to ‘a bit of an open book’?” She finished with a horrible imitation of his accent.

“You’re afraid to trust me.”

“Afraid to trust the guy who believes in fairy tales, Captain Hook?” Emma snorted. “However did you guess?”

“Bartender’s a sympathetic ear, love,” Hook said, “but I don’t need you to share. You have that look in your eyes.”

Emma’s entire body went still.

“The one,” Hook said, as if she didn’t already know--didn’t own a freaking mirror--hadn’t seen the look on his face that very night, “you get when you’ve been left alone.”

“Now I’m some kind of lost girl?” Emma forced herself to laugh. “Nice try, Hook, but my world ain’t Neverland.”

He made a noise, halfway between the unamused bark-laugh and a sigh, and said: “My point, Swan, is that an orphan’s an orphan.”

Emma said nothing, but Hook pressed on. “And True Love--well, that’s the rarest magic of all, or so they say. Have you ever even been in love?”

Emma narrowed her eyes at him, took a deep breath, and lied. “No,” she said simply. “I have never been in love.” She pulled the car against the curb and turned off the ignition. “We’re here,” she said.

“Who’s the guy, Swan?” he said, and his voice was almost free of affect. She could--almost--believe he meant it.

“What guy?” Emma said, because fuck him and his open-book bullshit.

“The one,” Hook said as if it was obvious, “who left you with such a high opinion of me.”

Emma got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind her.

@kmomof4 @shireness-says @spartanguard @optomisticgirl @eirabach @winterbaby89 @stahlop @teamhook @iamlaxdris71 @snowbellewells @carpedzem @scientificapricot @ultraluckycatnd @therealstartraveller776 @wyntereyez @nikkiemms @searchingwardrobes @courtorderedcake

#csrt #our little life (rounded with a sleep)#cs fic #captain swan rewrite a thon #cursed!killian #season 1 divergence #an alternate theory of the curse

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franklyshipping · 5 years ago

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Christmas 2019 Fics ~ Masterpost

Day 1 ~ SFW, Platonic Harold B. Darrensworth and Antisepticeye. Do not, under ANY circumstances, try and repress Anti's creative whimsy...otherwise you may end up seeing just how creatively evil he can be with you. Ticklish Harold.

Day 2 ~ SFW, Romantic Bim Trimmer and Shawn Flynn. Shawn's nervous about a potential topper he's made for the household's Christmas tree, but Bim convinces him that his creation is nothing but perfection. Ticklish Shawn.

Day 3 ~ SFW, Romantic Google Blue and Blankgameplays. After being a general cheeky menace and embarrassing him in the supermarket, Google decides to punish his cheeky boyfriend when they get back into the car....in a unique tickly fashion. Ticklish Blank.

Day 4 ~ SFW, Platonic Robbie the Zombie and Jackie-Boy Man. No matter who you are, even if you're one of the strongest superheroes on the planet...you should never get between a zombie and his advent calendar chocolates. Ticklish Jackie.

Day 5 ~ SFW, Romantic Yandere and Silver Shepherd. After an exchanging of festive pyjamas, Silver decides to make a cheeky joke....which Yandere makes him regret. A lot. Ticklish Silver.

Day 6 ~ SFW, Platonic Abe the Detective and Host. After it transpires that the Host was cheating at their board game, Abe decides to dole out some tickly justice. Ticklish Host.

Day 7 ~ SFW, Platonic Ed Edgar and Google Red. Don't expose a bare tickle spot in front of a curious android....unless you want it to be tickled that is. Ticklish Ed.

Day 8 ~ SFW, Platonic Oliver and Goopiplier. When you're trying to make someone the perfect gift, stress can be incurred, but there will always be someone there to help when you need it most. Especially a sunshiney android. Ticklish Goop.

Day 9 ~ SFW, Platonic/Romantic Google Green and Eric. Eric is determined to find out who his Secret Santa is, and he has some pretty good interrogation methods. Ticklish Google Green.

Day 10 ~ SFW, Platonic Dr Iplier and Kinkiplier. You'd think a kinky guy would know how to not accidentally tie himself up with ribbons whilst trying to wrap Christmas presents....but he does anyway; never fear though, Dr Iplier is always more than happy to help....after a little fun of course. Ticklish Kink.

Day 11 ~ SFW, Platonic into Romantic Mad Mike and Benjamin the Butler. After a small conflict over food, a heart to heart about the past, and tickles galore....love blossoms. Ticklish Benjamin.

Day 12 ~ SFW, Demon Hunting Jim Brothers. Without a doubt, the spoopy Jims have the cutest, most amazing festive tickle game in the history of tickle games. Ticklish Night Vision Camera Jim.

Day 13 ~ SFW, Platonic Reporter Jim and Marvin. Jim's looking for a scoop and is convinced Marvin has the information he needs....and he resorts to drastic measures to get the intel he desires. Ticklish Marvin.

Day 14 ~ SFW, Platonic Bing and Mini Bing. Mini Bing uses the powers of music, dancing, and tickling to cheer up his taller, musclier counterpart....and it works a treat. Ticklish Bing.

Day 15 ~ SFW, Platonic Camera Jim and Dr Schneeplestein. Jim films the good doctor singing because he thinks it's beautiful.....but Schneeple gets rather embarrassed when Jim suggests showing everyone else, and tries to persuade Jim otherwise. Ticklish Camera Jim.

Day 16 ~ SFW, Romantic Angelicsepticeye (Angie) and Angelo. Angie convinces his boyfriend to make a snow angel, in the most lovingly evil way possible. Ticklish Angelo.

Day 17 ~ SFW, Platonic Angus and King of the Squirrels. Angus goes looking for the monarch because he's curious about him....and get's a lot more than he bargained for. Ticklish Angus.

Day 18 ~ SFW, Platonic Author and Luca Schneeplestein (Dr Schneeplestein's son, note that the first name is made up by me and is not canon). The Author isn't really one for people....but when a tiny one bumps into his legs and wants to play, his hard heart very slightly starts to soften. Ticklish Luca.

Day 19 ~ SFW, Familial Chase Brody and Isaac Brody (Chase's son, note that the first name is made up by me and is not canon). Chase and his son have the loving bonding time that they deserve. Ticklish Isaac.

Day 20 ~ SFW, Familial Natemare and Marceline Brody (Chase's daughter, note that the first name is made up by me and is not canon). Children are more intuitive than people think, so when Marceline sees Mare looking awkward and nervous, she helps cheer him up. Ticklish Natemare.

Day 21 ~ SFW, Familial Madpat and Sofia Schneeplestein (Dr Schneeplestein's daughter, note that the first name is made up by me and is not canon). Madpat ends up getting quite the tickly check-up from the new doc on the block. Ticklish Madpat.

Day 22 ~ SFW, Platonic FNAF Night Guard and Y/N (Yanan/The District Attorney). I wonder if you guys can guess a good method to help with social anxiety? Ticklish Yanan.

Day 23 ~ SFW, Romantic Darkiplier (Damien body) and Wilford. Wilford is taking on the mantle of Santa, but when he tries to playfully put Dark on the naughty list....Dark gives him quite he punishment. Ticklish Wilford.

Day 24 ~ SFW, Platonic/Romantic Celine and Jamie. What happens when two stubborn, organised, loving people find themselves trying to convince the other to go to sleep? I think you can guess. Ticklish Jamie and Celine.

Day 25 ~ SFW, Familial, Platonic, Romantic and everything in between, with everyone. This is a conclusion, an epilogue, one last look at the whole group together....on Christmas Day.

Happy holidays, thank you all for supporting me and my writing for another year. This, and all of you, means everything to me xxx

#masterpost #christmas 2019 #xmas 2019 #xmas fics #christmas fics #my xmas fic #my christmas fics #tickle fics #tickle fanfics #ego fics #ego fanfics #sfw #platonic #romantic

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blue-mint-winter · 6 years ago

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About Roslin and Baltar’s trial

I’ve been thinking about Roslin’s reasons behind putting Baltar on trial, because I’ve seen many different opinions on that and whether she was right or wrong. The show itself suggests a few times that she’s doing it for revenge, while her fans are taking her side. I think as always on BSG, the truth is more complicated than that.

To preface this, I am in the unique position because I am a big fan of both characters. Roslin is my favourite female character and Baltar is my favourite male character on the show. Watching their separate stories is so much fun to me and when they have scenes together is always a special delight. I love seeing how their paths cross, how they run in parallel, how they are foils to each other, everything about them is interesting. There is a symmetry to them as they exchange their roles in the show which I deeply enjoy and appreciate. They’re both very human characters, flawed, imperfect, but striving to be better. I don’t see Roslin as some paragon of virtue because she’s clearly not and never was. She made too many awful decisions for that, but she’s made quite a lot of good calls too. A lot of her ruthlessness comes from a sense of vulnerability. She can’t afford to show kindness or mercy to the enemy and potential threats have to be dealt with or the humankind won’t survive. That’s her M.O. She’s an iron lady, not some bleeding heart of a naive schoolteacher.

Season 3 of the show is all about New Caprica. Even when the characters are lightyears away from that planet, they still carry it and what happened there in their hearts. New Caprica tainted them all and left wounds they all spent the rest of the season healing. But there is one wound left for the last - Gaius Baltar. He is the symbol of New Caprica. He gave people the promised land but it turned into a living nightmare. He was a shitty president even before the Cylons came, so it was easy to place all the blame for NC squarely on his shoulders. However, it wasn’t as if he was voted in and people followed him there, rather it was the other way around - people wanted to go to NC, so they voted for him. People trusted Baltar because he was a genius scientist, because he claimed he cared, because he was an attractive political alternative to Roslin. Humanity made a bad choice, but it is easier for them to erase the physical reminder of that mistake than admit to it. Hence the ubiquitous hatred for Baltar in the Fleet.

But Roslin’s not just an average citizen, she’s much closer to Baltar. Of course she regrets not going through with stealing the election. She had a chance to prevent all this tragedy from happening and she didn’t. She chose the higher road in the end, to be the better person and she let Baltar win. Her own nobility doomed humanity. That’s a bitter pill to swallow. It must haunt her. And I think it certainly informs her ruthless decisions in S3, like ordering the Cylon genocide. NC taught her that morals can and should be sacrificed for the sake of survival. She doesn’t want to make that same mistake again.

S3 features a fascinating reversal of roles between Roslin and Baltar. It starts with him as the puppet president and her a powerless schoolteacher. Their first scene together is when he visits her in detention center where she’s held. The show never makes it clear whether Roslin was tortured and how (I suspect food and/or sleep deprivation), but she knows others were. Regardless, she is a victim of the occupation, unjustly imprisoned. Her name is on a death list, signed by Gaius Baltar.

There are many things Laura Roslin is and I believe that one of those is vengeful. She remembers everything good or bad, and she also holds grudges. One of those grudges is for Cylons who she has a certain propensity to airlock. Not unfounded of course. That combined with her regret for not stealing the election and her belief that Baltar is a traitor and traitors should be killed is a deadly combination for Gaius.

The graphic demonstration of Roslin’s grudge against Baltar is the entire episode 3x13 Taking a Break from All Your Worries. The tables have turned, the reversal of roles is complete, but what’s done is the same thing. Roslin’s doing to Baltar what was done to her. From the very beginning of the episode we have Baltar in prison, making the noose. It’s night but the guard wakes him up when he nods off. That’s the start of torture - sleep deprivation. Then Roslin’s first visit to his cell is a purposeful replication of his visit to her cell on NC. Through the episode, she continues with various methods of torture, to interrogate him and get the admission of guilt that she so desperately wants from him - which will justify what is done to him illegally. Which will validate her despicable actions against him, because he would admit to actually deserve them. But just like Roslin did not give Gaius the information or cooperation he wanted on New Caprica, Gaius doesn’t give in to her brutal methods here. Another similarity between them is that he didn’t wish her to suffer on NC and her crying when she has him tortured. Torture horrifies both of them and I think for Roslin that was a moment when she became horrified at herself and what she was doing. No Cylon was making her do this. Her conscience woke up and it couldn’t be silenced. (Still, Gaeta got only a slap on the wrist for murder attempt on the prisoner. Interesting how Roslin’s justice works when she can better empathize with Gaeta for wanting to kill Baltar, than with Gaius who she’s deliberately putting through the exact same things she’s personally gone through. As if she can transfer her own horrors to him and finally be free of NC.)

The last on her list of things to reenact is the death warrant. Adama offers to have Gaius quietly disappeared, just like Roslin was supposed to be killed back on NC. Out of sight, out of mind. But Roslin decides to give Baltar the trial for several reasons. I think the most important one is that she wants him dead for being a traitor but she also wants the moral high ground. His torture already made her too close to being like the enemy. When Baltar is tried and found guilty - and in her belief he cannot not be found guilty - he will be legally sentenced. She will not have his blood on her hands. She will not kill him just because she has the power and means to, not as a whimsy of the President. He has to be objectively judged and sentenced to death that he deserves for his own actions. Roslin fully believes her own judgment of Baltar is correct and objective. She refuses to acknowledge her own subjectivity when it concerns him. That’s why she allows the trial - because she is convinced it will go the way she wants it and Baltar will be sentenced to death. The last factor of why she decides to put him on trial is that she’s wanted to do this since she learned about his involvement with Six before the attack. She couldn’t have done it before because the only proof she had was a memory that resurfaced when she was dying and heavily medicated. It would’ve been just her word against his. But occupation of NC gives her all the reason and proof to finally convict him for his crimes. It’s tangible, real, it didn’t happen only to her. Everyone was there, everyone suffered. She has the public with her on this.

As an aside, it’s pretty hypocritical that Zarek gets away scot free. The man was the political mastermind behind Baltar’s presidential campaign, but because he got lucky and Cylons didn’t shoot him when he refused to cooperate and then he was with Roslin on the death list, he gets a free pass from her. A lot of help he was, rotting in a cell for the whole occupation. But now he’s her pal, he gave her back the presidential seat so all is cool between them. Even more hypocritical that Roslin banned Zarek’s secret tribunal killing collaborators right and left, but for Baltar she recreates it and makes it public for everyone to watch/listen to on radio.

It’s almost funny how Baltar makes Roslin lose her cool, how easily angry he can get her. She’s completely unobjective when it comes to him. He writes a book and she’s frothing mad. She imprisons a man because he read that book. She jokes about burning the book. She humiliates Baltar to make him stop writing, she lies to make him feel small, powerless, unheard. That’s how deep her grudge against him goes. If Adama is the equivalent of Zeus, Roslin fits the characteristics of Hera to a T.

One thing I really love about the show is that in the end, it doesn’t present the ideal solution to the issue of Baltar’s trial and punishment. I’d say that the actual message is that of mercy, but there’s no whitewashing his character. Baltar during and after the trial is shown at his smarmiest, but the justice is blind. It doesn’t care about likeability of the accused, it cares about evidence.

Was Roslin right or wrong? Was it right that Baltar was exonerated? What would be a just punishment for him? That’s left for the viewers to ponder about. In my opinion, the majority of S3 already showed Baltar’s punishment. Let’s not pretend that he was having a picnic when everyone else was suffering. He’s been imprisoned, horrifically tortured TWICE, he’s been almost killed multiple times, he tried to commit suicide. He had little to no control over his life, all he could do was to cling to it. His own guilt and self-loathing poisoned him and his love with Caprica Six. He’s lost everyone he cared for and became the most hated man in the universe. He was betrayed by Gaeta. And Baltar’s informal punishment isn’t going to go away just because he was freed by the court. Season 4 barely started and already someone attempted to murder him.

I spent hours writing this meta, so sorry if I rambled too much. I’ve just got a lot of feelings and opinions about the trial, Roslin and Gaius.

#bsg #laura roslin #gaius baltar #meta #3x13 taking a break from all your worries #3x19 crossroads part 1 #3x20 crossroads part 2 #3x16 dirty hands

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initiala · 8 years ago

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Dark Horse - Chapter 21 - COMMENTARY (1/3)

Yes, this is coming to you in three parts. This is one of the 10k chapters and commentary in just this part sent it over 11k, so I know Tumblr isn’t gonna like this much.

@yayimallamaagain asked for commentary on chapter 21. So if you haven’t read chapters 1-20, you’ve been warned!

To start off, I don’t remember what happens in this chapter! It’ll be an experience for everyone.

It's a tense drive back to Storybrooke, one that Emma spends rehearsing and re-rehearsing what she's going to say to Regina. She'll probably appreciate it more if I get right to the point, she thinks, passing the "Welcome to Storybrooke!" sign on the outskirts of town. But is this really something to just blurt out? "Hey, so Gold definitely pushed your kid into making himself sick by making him a stupid promise to get him into jockey school, we should probably do something about that." Yeah, that's not gonna go over well or anything.

The thing is, Emma isn't sure there is a delicate way to put this. Regina's going to be furious no matter what. It's just a matter of whether or not to let her blood pressure skyrocket immediately, or to give it a slightly more gradual climb.

Oh wait is this after Emma goes and talks to Neal?? Regardless, yes let’s be conscious of Regina’s blood pressure.

As she makes the turn down Regina's street, she sees another familiar car coming towards her. Emma frowns slightly as Belle drives past her, not even waving as she goes - it's not like anyone else in Storybrooke drives a bright yellow Volkswagon, so it's unlikely Belle wouldn't know it's her. Emma parks in front of Regina's house and gets out, looking down the street as Belle turns the corner and away. She doesn't know Belle well, not really, so perhaps she's friends with someone else who lives on this street. But Belle's husband also works with Regina - in kind of a loose sense of the phrase - so it would make sense for Belle to drop by the house for some reason or another. Maybe Belle knows about Gold's thing with Henry, she thinks, surprising herself with the leap.

Why was Belle seeing Regina… I forget if she was lawyering up at this point or not, or if she was just seeking advice about what she knew about Gold. I do remember it was around this point when things started picking up in the background, but not exactly.

Emma's mouth twists. Only one way to find out.

She shifts her weight on the balls of her feet impatiently after ringing the doorbell. She knows Regina's home - her car is in the driveway - but Robin's the one who answers the door. "Hi," Emma says, blinking. Robin looks a bit - well, she doesn't know the right word for it. Haunted? Haggard? "Are you - is everything -"

Robin gives a thin-lipped smile. "It's been an… an interesting day, let's say." He shakes his head a little. "My apologies. Hello, Emma, what can I do for you?"

Emma makes a face. She knows the feeling. "Is Regina here? I called the office and they said she was working at home today."

Okay so I know I go into Regina’s work a lot more in her side story, but I LOVE HER OFFICE. It’s located in ~Friendship~, just to irritate her more, it’s in a gorgeous converted house, and she works with the QoD and Isaac. And there’s a mentor relationship with Mal. And I loved writing Mal. Anyway. This is the DVD commentary, so have my thoughts at whimsy.

"Yes, of course. Come in, I think - yes, she'll probably be glad to see you."

Robin waves her in and she wonders about his statement - the wording of it more than the sentiment. Not that she dislikes seeing Regina, but 'glad to see you' is not in the top three phrases Emma would associate with Regina's feelings towards her. Top five, probably. Maybe not number four though. Regardless, it has her curious as she toes off her shoes and Robin directs her towards the office. She hears Regina moving around the room as she walks up to the door. "Hey, Regina, was that Belle I saw - oh." Emma comes up short in the door, raising her eyebrows as she sees Regina pouring herself a glass of amber-colored liquid from a crystal decanter. "Day drinking now, I see? Perks of working at home."

Regina doesn't even look surprised to see her, barely sparing her a glance as she raises the tumbler to her lips. "We can't all be pinnacles of virtue, Miss Swan. Shouldn't you be off moping somewhere?"

Emma crosses her arms. Regina's looking for a fight and Emma's not sure she's going to give her one. "So whatever Belle was here for wasn't good, I take it?"

"I'm afraid that falls under client confidentiality."

"So, no."

Probably lawyering up then. I really don’t remember. Anyway, as much as Emma and Regina bickering infuriates me in the show, I love writing it?? It never comes across in canon that they needle each other to do better, it just comes across as them being mean to each other. But in fanfic, we can show it how it should be: the needling one another, the pushing to do better, the understanding that they’re alike and that giving the angry person a safe space to blow up at is ultimately going to be beneficial. If I was going to name similar characters, I’d say Rei and Usagi, but ultimately Regina and Emma are more alike than that and it’s how their relationship develops to this point. Where Rei would give someone a “The Care and Feeding of Your Usagi” booklet and threaten anyone within an inch of their life if harm should come to Usagi, Regina is more the type to be like “There’s no way you’ll live through this” and Emma is all “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED” and survives to prove her wrong. And vice versa. There’s a lot of spite motivation, is what I’m saying. Also this got long, but DVD commentary.

Regina leans against her desk, glaring at her. "Emma, just say whatever it is you came here to say and then leave me in peace, all right? Today has not gone the way I wanted it to and I would be grateful if you didn't add to my misery."

Emma purses her lips, then goes for the decanter herself. She glances up at Regina as she uncorks it; Regina gives her a long-suffering look before inclining her head. Emma pours herself two fingers and takes a sip - bourbon. She makes a face at the strength, then downs half of it for courage. "Seems like you've had a bit of a day as well," Regina observes as Emma goes for a refill.

"Yeah, well, that's what happens when you visit your ex in prison."

Her words have the intended effect - Regina sets down her glass and folds her arms, watching Emma with intense interest. "You saw Neal," she says.

Emma nods, taking another sip. She doesn't go into the full details - one trip down memory lane is enough for the day - but she does tell Regina about the letter and rehash what Neal told her about Gold and Henry. Regina's face remains impassive as Emma tells her about Gold's visit and his sudden interest in Henry; if anything, Emma would have expected some sort of confirmation about Gold's prior lack of interest in him. Regina's worked with Gold and seen him near Henry much more than Emma, but she doesn't even twitch when Emma tells her about Gold's supposed guilt over failing Neal and how he's now directing his efforts into doing good by someone else: Henry. Emma even digs in further with Gold's Jockey Club connections, but she's met only with Regina's silence, coupled with one finger slowly tapping against her arm and a slightly pinched frown on her face.

Finally, Emma scowls. "Okay, what do you know that I don't?"

Regina sighs. "All of that, apparently," she says drily. At Emma's stunned look, Regina picks up her tumbler and takes another sip. "Henry told me everything the night he got hurt. So I've known about Gold's meddling…" She pauses here and Emma wonders what words she's filtering out before she finally settles on, "Foolishness for weeks now."

I do remember having a long argument with myself about what Regina would say there. The problem with someone as poised and painfully aware of herself around others as Regina is that you can’t just toss in “meddling fuckery” and expect to get away with it. Now I could do that with Emma, but not Regina.

It's Emma's turn to set her glass down, propping her hands on her hips. "And you never thought to tell me? I had to go to Neal about all of this?"

Regina side-eyes her. "Emma, don't be ridiculous," she says, taking another sip of bourbon before setting her glass down. "We were handling things, I have two colleagues handling Gold, and to protect Henry we haven't told anyone who didn't need to know."

That stings, and Regina knows it from the brief moment she flinches. Emma's temper flares up, her cheeks warming as she grinds her teeth together. "Oh, so you ignoring me for a week about Henry being sick means I don't deserve to know I was right? Your blatant dismissal of my concerns means I don't deserve to know how he got that way? Oh wait, no, you're right, I'm not family," she snaps, still sore from being kept out after the accident. "I don't care about Henry at all, I'm not capable of caring about anyone who I can't get anything from -"

She cuts herself off, furious with herself for letting her memories of Gold get to her now, furious that her eyes sting with tears, furious that even though she hasn't punched anyone she still can't keep a lid on her temper. She swipes at her eyes uselessly, sniffling before taking her glass and downing the rest of her bourbon. She glances up at Regina, whose eyes are closed and is standing in a resigned sort of way against her desk. There's a long moment of silence, occasionally punctuated by Emma's occasional sniffles, trying to get her emotions under control. "I may be a lot of things," Regina says finally, unfolding her arms and bracing them on the edge of her desk, "but I'm not Gold. And I was wrong."

Emma doesn't let her surprise at the admission show. It's one thing for Regina to have an admission of wrongness, it's another to actually get her to apologize for it.

I’m starting to remember things as I read. This is one of the more important conversations that happens in this story, out of a lot of important conversations. Everyone in this universe does a lot of growing up, regardless of their age; ultimately, it’s about a family that goes through a traumatic upheaval and we see where the pieces land after a year of events. It starts with Graham’s death and snowballs from there, and no one is the same at the end of it all. But this signifies how Emma and Regina’s relationship has changed: Emma’s been out of Henry’s life for a long time now and coming back has made Regina rethink a lot of things. Emma grew up without anyone realizing it and that’s largely where her conflict with her extended family comes from. Five years ago, Regina keeping Emma out of this would have made sense. Now? Emma deserved to know. And with everything else going to hell around them, giving her this peace of mind could have helped or prevented a lot of other things.

Regina pushes off of her desk, taking slow steps in a meandering circle as she wrings her hands, her right thumb pressing into her left palm. "I let this happen," she says after a minute or so. "I've been focusing a lot on the future, on a future that might not ever come to pass. I wasn't there for Henry, and he didn't let you be there for him either. We both thought he was capable of handling himself, of being a teenager, and then this happened. And it's my fault more than anything else. I should have been paying attention."

"Regina," Emma says with a sigh. "He was pretty determined to hide this from everyone. Even when you were paying attention you didn't see it."

She's been on the receiving end of a lot of Regina's cold stares before, but this might rank in the top three. "There are signs," she says, turning crisply and pacing a little more quickly now. "There are signs and if I had just -"

"Just what?" Emma asks, her exasperation growing.

After another moment, Regina's pacing slows, and then she starts talking. Emma's never heard Regina speak of her mother before, but from the way Regina's telling it now, the woman could give some of Emma's foster mothers a run for their money. At least Emma was always passed on to someone else after a few months - she never had to deal with eighteen years of an emotionally abusive control freak. Regina sits, resting her chin on her folded hands as she stares at the carpet vacantly and talks about a past Emma doesn't blame her for never sharing. "You don't really think he's predisposed to it, do you?" Emma asks when Regina pauses for long enough. She's skeptical of the idea, but she's not an expert.

Coming up with Regina’s backstory in this universe was very fun. It was heartbreaking, but it was fun as a creator and as a writer to envision how someone like Regina would have developed and been shaped in a world without magic. Even letting her have her happy ending with Daniel for a while was fun, playing with the ER headcanons that Regina is unable to or has a difficult time conceiving and how that plays out when you consider her age in this universe (38).

Regina shakes her head. "No, but there are other factors. I've been more concerned about my own actions, how closely they've mirrored Cora." She sighs and Emma doesn't know what to say, if she can say anything. "And then there's Robin…"

Emma feels herself tense. "What about Robin?" she asks warily. She likes him, she doesn't want to add to her extensive blacklist.

Friends fiercely protecting each otherrrrrrrrr.

As if sensing Emma's thoughts, Regina glances up wryly. "Nothing like that, Miss Swan. But we were… A lot of planning went into this summer. A lot of plans for future plans."

Emma fights the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm starting to get a buzz here, so if we could skip this "I'm very mysterious" thing and get to the point, I'd appreciate it."

I really like this line, and also I wish we could use this kind of thing more often in canon.

That statement earns her another long-suffering look, but Emma's buzzing enough not to care. Regina sighs, dropping her hands. "Robin and I… have been discussing the possibility of having a baby."

This time Emma does let her surprise show.

She finds herself sinking into Regina's desk chair as the whole story finally comes out: Regina's early marriage to Daniel; their difficulties conceiving and how many miscarriages Regina had before she and Henry hung on to one another; how they'd almost lost hope at having their own child; how much of a physical and emotional toll each and every lost potential future had put on her; how alone she'd felt even when Daniel had been grieving as well. Emma feels her jaw going slack the more Regina talks, the more the puzzle pieces from earlier this summer get put together. This is why Regina had acted so oddly when Mary Margaret said she was pregnant. The stiff speech, the way she'd gone from motherly to closed-off in a matter of moments.

Regina had been jealous.

She knocks back the rest of her own bourbon when she's done. "Wow," Emma says.

"I'd appreciate it if what was said here stayed between us," Regina says, her stern tone not matching the melancholic look in her eyes. "I tend not to go shouting that to everyone."

"I can see why," Emma says, rolling forward and bracing her elbows on the desk. "So you're…"

"We've put that plan on hold for now," Regina explains. "Clearly, if we can't focus on the children we have, we have no business having more. But I expect… I hope, rather, that helps you understand why I closed you out of all of this."

A mentality I wish more people would consider, but if wishes were pies I’d weigh more than I do.

Regina has never wanted anything but the best for Henry, and Emma does have a better understanding of why now - aside from what she supposes the usual wants of mothers are. She can see where Regina would find this an acceptable situation to be overprotective, even from someone who cares deeply for Henry as well. It's not an easy truth for Emma to swallow, but she can't see herself behaving differently, if she were Henry's mother and he was in danger from anyone or anything.

Regina takes a breath and exhales slowly. "And," she says, stressing it with a very pointed pause, "I'm sorry for that, Emma." She gives it a moment to sink in before adding drily, "I hope you appreciate the gravity of that."

We all appreciate it when you muster up the courage to apologize and be sincere about it, Regina.

Emma rolls her eyes, but she smiles as she looks away. She knows to let Regina have the last word there and lets it drop. They're alike, Regina and her, and she knows when saying thanks would just make her uncomfortable.

Her smile fades when she catches sight of a photo of Henry, grinning and holding the bridle of one of their horses. She doesn't remember the last time she saw Henry so earnest and happy - has he even looked like that since she's been back? She chews on the inside of her lip for a moment, drawing one leg up and looping her arms around it. "What are we going to do about Gold?" she asks quietly.

Regina scoffs. "We?"

"Regina."

She sighs and gets up, taking her tumbler and picking up Emma's on her way to the decanter. It's almost empty by the time she finishes refilling both glasses and passing one to Emma. "Do you happen to remember a particular incident when you were being an ass?"

Emma gives her the evil eye as she takes a sip. "Gosh, if we go by your count there's so many to choose from," she snarks. "Would it be the one where I punched him in the face? Because I've thought about that. I can tell you exactly how I want to do it this time, if you want."

She catches a peek of a quick smile before Regina covers it with her drink. "The less I know, the better - from a legal standpoint, you understand."

Have I mentioned that I love these two as drinking buddies? Because I love these two as drinking buddies.

Emma swirls the bourbon in her glass, trying to remember their conversation in the barn the previous spring. The alcohol isn't helping her memory, even if it's helping water down her emotions. "I seem to remember something about you trying to get me to share my toys. And letting people who aren't emotionally invested take care of things. Which… how aren't you invested?"

"I have a few colleagues working on it," Regina says again. "My mentor works in family law. Gold's particular brand of child endangerment is right up her alley. I've been in touch with someone at our sister office as well who specializes in criminal law. So yes, I am letting people who aren't emotionally invested handle things. I've given them the facts, and I have a new file of additional information to send to Zelena in the morning."

I am not a Zelena fan so I wasn’t planning on adding her into the story. But giving her a mention at the sister office not only satisfies my need for an awful pun, but also begrudgingly says “yes yes, she’s in the universe, I’m not telling you anything else about her so there”.

Emma raises an eyebrow. "So Belle was here." She would have bet a lot of money that Belle wouldn't ever go against her husband, no matter what she knew - some sort of wifely loyalty or whatever.

Or being unable to testify against him in court under normal circumstances, but whatever. My universe, my rules.

Regina makes a face, setting aside her tumbler. "And that's enough bourbon for me. Again, I don't need to request that all of this stays here. Believe me, Miss Swan, I will know if it doesn't."

Emma would also bet a lot of money on Regina having a file of blackmail on every person she knew, and she'd probably win that bet if she cared to look for evidence. Anyway, it's not like Emma has anything to tell. Belle was here about something, maybe related to this bullshit with Gold and Henry, and it's now Emma's job to sit back and let the law handle things. "Yeah, yeah," she says instead, setting her glass down. She nudges the mouse by accident, causing the computer screen to wake up. Emma blinks when she sees the website Regina had been looking at before her computer had gone to sleep. "So, you and Robin can't handle having a third kid right now, but you can handle a puppy?"

First, I really just like the image of Regina and a super-secret filing cabinet filled with potential blackmail for everyone in her life. For Roland, it’s stuff like “how to get him to behave for Santa at Christmas”. But yeah, legalities aside I’m certain Regina has dirt on just about everyone. It’s a way nicer interpretation of the heart vault.

As she glances towards Regina, Emma is delighted to note a flicker of panic on the other woman's face. "Why are you looking at my computer?" Regina asks, getting up and hurrying over.

She’s handling this much more calmly than I would. I have nothing but purity and innocence on my computer and I would still slap someone for touching my computer without my approval.

"It just woke up, I must have hit the mouse or something." Emma's amusement grows as Regina hurries around the desk to close out of everything. "Seriously, a dog? You know those are like, eternal toddlers right?"

"Yes, Miss Swan, I'm quite aware, thank you," Regina snaps. Emma should have started a tally, she's pretty sure she's hit a record for 'Miss Swan's today. "It's - the boys have been - Roland has been after us about a dog for a while," she continues, her tone softening. "And Robin and I have been discussing it - if Henry continues to get better - as some sort of reward. We're looking around at shelters, weighing options."

"It's a dog, not deciding between a four-cylinder or a six-cylinder," Emma says drily.

"It's a lifestyle change," Regina counters. "There's a lot to consider, particularly if Robin and I are scaling back on work."

Also if Regina wants to be vacuuming way more often.

Emma's eyebrows go up again. She knew about Robin's cancelled classes the previous month from Henry, but a full scaling back is news to her. Regina doesn't seem to notice her surprise and Emma glances back at the blank screen. "You bringing one of the saddles back from the Horn, then? I think we have horses smaller than some of those dogs you were looking at."

"If I send you to pick up that saddle, will you actually speak to Killian?" It's a low blow, even for Regina on a buzz of her own. She seems to realize it when she stiffens. "I'm sorry, that was -"

Ah yes, the “everyone ships it” thread is coming back, I forgot about this.

"It's okay," Emma cuts her off. It's a low blow, but it's a true one. "I know… Well, I don't know. I don't even know how much you know. But I had a - a flash of realization today. When I left the prison earlier I had two phone calls to make, and I thought - I thought Henry's best interests came first. Even though it turned out you already knew."

I know she wanted to call Killian but I have absolutely no recollection of why. I also know there was the “find happiness” line from Quiet Minds that gets repeated a lot later, so maybe that has something to do with it? At this point in the timeline I don’t THINK Emma has gone to Boston yet and had her revealing talk with Anna that she’s in the forever kind of love with Killian, but it has been SO LONG since I have had to keep the timeline straight in my head that I don’t remember.

She looks up just as Regina smiles sympathetically. She glances towards the door. "Well, I'm not letting you leave until you've sobered up a bit. Why don't you stay for dinner? I'll go talk it over with Robin and you use the rest of that liquid courage to make that second call."

Oh, she’s calling anyway. Nevermind.

Emma nods, looking back down. Regina leaves her to it as Emma pulls her phone out of her back pocket. She's not sure how much liquid courage she has left, really, or if the fun part of her buzz is fading into the depressing part that seems to linger a lot longer before sobriety returns. She flips her phone over in her hands a few times, thinking about what she's going to say -if he'll even speak to her at all, though he seemed pretty intent to two weeks ago.

Go find Tallahassee.

Is there even a Tallahassee to find?

Or is she too scared to even look?

She sighs in disgust, mostly at herself and her nerves and how fucked up her entire life is that she can't even make what should be a simple phone call. She unlocks her phone and scrolls through her contacts. Killian's photo smiles at her - that smile she lo-liked so much, the one that made his eyes glint and made her think he always had some private joke he was about to share. He's wearing his Stetson, the brim pulled down low like he's John Wayne or something. She remembers the day she took that picture - it was a Sunday back at the end of June, when they were still a poorly-kept secret, and he'd been leaning against the rail on his front porch. The boys were bringing in some of the horses after a gate-training session; she'd sent him a dirty text right before she'd driven over - telling him how many ways she wanted to ride him, how she wanted to suck him off, how she wanted to make him scream.

Ah so she hasn’t quite come to terms with how she’s in love with him yet, okay. Also I still want someone to draw that picture of him. And also I seem to remember that the last line about a dirty text was one of my “please be patient with me while I get these kids sorted out, here’s some mild filth in the meantime” peace offerings.

He'd barely waited until they were inside before kissing her breathless, stripping her out of her clothes in the living room, and bending her over the back of the couch.

The cats hadn't been too happy about that.

…..okay now I want to read quick and dirty bent-over-the-couch fucking. I don’t want to write it but I sure do want to read it.

Her cheeks now flushed from more than just alcohol - seriously, that was a bad thought trail to wander down - Emma presses the call button before she loses her nerve. She holds her breath the entire time it rings, then tries not to feel too disappointed when it goes to voicemail. She swallows hard, really hating how the tremor in her voice gives her away. "Killian - hi, it's uh, it's me. Emma?"

One thing that happens a lot in this universe is awkward voicemails. I love writing them. It’s just babbling. It’s so fun. Anyway, stick around for parts 2 and 3!

#captain swan #cs ff #captain swan ff #cs fic #cs mc au #dark horse #dark horse commentary

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zi-tales · 7 years ago

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Interview: Aum Yzyrlid

#dnd

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paradisefovnd · 7 years ago

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what is something everyone should know about your muses before interacting?

multimuse ask meme accepting

i told vicky to send this to me again bc i’m a dumb and didn’t understand it the first time

ruth balakov - she is SUPER high energy. if you interact with ruth, expect her to be just short of bouncing off the walls. also, she’s super random, so don’t be surprised if she just rambles on and on about all kinds of random shit

samir chaudhry - this guy may seem immature, but he’s actually very thoughtful and considerate

tutankhamun “tut” mcmullen - he’s emotional. look up “emo” and there will be a pic of tut. however, he’ll try and hide it if he thinks that his emotions will hurt the other person (well, that’s if he cares about them. if he doesn’t, then he’ll let it all out)

jughead jones - he’s a little shit. he’s also not the dark and brooding jughead from riverdale. i cannot stress that enough. my jughead is asexual, loves burgers more than life, and doesn’t say shit that sounds like a young chuck palahniuk. instead, he’s more like roald dahl minus a dash of the whimsy

melody valentine - again, she is NOT riverdale based. that’s honestly the most important thing about her and jughead. my melody is sunshine in a person and sings everything she says with the occasional bit of cryptic wisdom

mark darcy - basically, he’s a modern mr. darcy. something to know about him and my portrayal is that i’m probably not going to write him with a lot of people. most of the muse i have for him is when i’m writing him against bridget, and i can’t really change that. he’s deeply in love with her, and ??

choi han-kyul - this kid is the grandson of the chairwoman of a company so like he’s hella rich, and he takes it for granted at first. but then, he’s put in charge of running a coffee shop, and he matures a lot through the process. however, he doesn’t lose his playfulness. he’s honestly one of my favorites, and if anyone ever wanted to write with him, i would be beyond happy.

dr. noelle akopian - she’s a psychiatrist who’s done with ur shit

greg serrano - self-sabotaging but currently working on improving his life. in business school, used to be a bartender. recovering alcoholic.

maya - she’s the most pure and pls don’t hurt her

valencia perez - used to be a yoga instructor, but is now an event coordinator. hella gay even tho the show doesn’t admit it. deserves to be appreciated. is working on improving her “mean girl” tendencies. the “mean girl” tendencies tho are partially bc she’s never really had female friends and she just...doesn’t know what to do? she’s actually an awkward bean, but her beauty prevents a lot of ppl from realizing it

johnny castle - soft. again, don’t hurt him. he’s a dance instructor at a resort, but he can work in a lot of different verses. you need a dancer? he’s there. he’s very serious about his craft, and is a genuine human being. he appreciates honesty.

blair warner - she’s rich af and can be super conceited, but she knows how to have a good time and has a little bit of a devious streak. depending on the verse - is either in law school or a lawyer. intelligent altho ppl don’t expect it.

jo polniaczek - looks tough, is a soft. don’t let her leather jacket and motorcycle fool you. jo polniaczek just wants a simple life and she wants people to be happy and respected. respect is big with her.

emily gilmore - a socialite altho she prefers the term “philanthropist.” emily might seem “evil” to some people, but she has good intentions (in her mind). she only does things when she thinks they’re the “right” thing to do (at least, before the revival), but she also has a bit of a mischievous streak that’ll come along every now and then. her upbringing instilled certain lessons in her that she’s unlearning little by little.

meredith quill - she loves classic rock, motown, her son, and the world. she’s one of those people who’s in love with life, and her enthusiasm is genuine.

alice longbottom - she’s kind and altruistic. however, she’s not a pushover. my alice isn’t “soft” alice. she’s “u said something super ignorant and im gonna tell you why youre wrong” alice. gryffindor.

arthur weasley - arthur wants to learn everything he can about the world around him. a bit of an absent-minded professor, even tho his mind is always turning. he just has so many thoughts happening all at once, he can tend to jump from subject to subject without connecting them sometimes. gryffindor (altho he was almost a ravenclaw)

victoire weasley - read this here

helga g. pataki - helga is someone who came from a bad situation and pretty much raised herself. most of her interactions will be after high school. my headcanon is that she finished school and got a scholarship to ivy league and after that, she went to law school at another ivy. she hopes to be the first female president one day. she’s aggressive, but deep down, she cares a lot.

effie trinket - seems like an airhead, but effie is smarter than you think. she grew up in a society where certain things were expected so she fulfilled them. her upbringing was also extremely different in the sense that she was fed propaganda from a young age and never knew differently, but her experiences in district 12 (or other verse equivalents) have shown her that the world isn’t what she thought it was, and she’s learning what life actually is little by little

katniss everdeen - i won’t write katniss a lot just bc it takes me into a place that’s harder to get out of, but my katniss is a sacrifice of her circumstances. she never wanted to be a revolutionary figure and never felt comfortable with her position in it even after the war was over. her “toughness” that people seem to see is just katniss trying to survive. survival is her driving aspect.

jane villanueva - jane is a mama who is also an incredible writer whose first book is in the process of being published. she writes romance novels so essentially she’s just like us! she likes having a plan for everything, and her family is number ONE in her life

michael cordero a detective. is also a major nerd. thinks he could be a comedian, but he’s not actually that funny. like maybe if you have a certain sense of humor. he lives with a certain code of ethics, however, they might get bent at points if he thinks it’s for the best of the situation.

rogelio de la vega - telenovela actor. if your character met him on the street, they might not know him if they haven’t watched telenovelas, but he will assume that they know who he is and that he’s famous. SUPER dramatic. don’t be alarmed.

elle woods - amazing lawyer, loves the color pink, member of delta nu. in my version, i take pieces from the movie and musical. for my elle, vivienne was the one who told her to come back to the case (like in the musical), but at the end, elle doesn’t propose to emmett. instead, she and vivienne start dating and fall in love and get married

ryan atwood - he came from not a great family, and then he got adopted by this uber rich fam in the oc (orange county, california). he’s navigating his new life, and grappling with who exactly he is and what his place is in the world. just know that he’s deeply loyal and cares a lot about people

pam beesly - receptionist at dunder-mifflin paper company. insecure, but is slowly coming out of her shell. is an artist and outlawed at chili’s. is a huge dork, but also adorable.

fitzwilliam darcy - super rich bc he inherited everything from his parents after they died. they died when he was young, so he was thrust into responsibility at an early age which is part of why he is the way he is. seems stuck-up (and kind of is), but he just doesn’t care of societal expectations of friendliness even though he gets caught in what society expects when it pertains to manners, etc. is his sister’s guardian, and she means more to him than anything else in the world

jane bennet - pure, the sweetest. the oldest sister of five. in modern verses, i have her as a preschool teacher

queen clarisse renaldi - queen of genovia. a literal queen. tries to be diplomatic. expects people to do as she tells them bc she’s a queen. has dealt with some shit in her life - her husband died, her SON died. tries to stay optimistic.

sabrina fairchild - suicide attempt tw: her father is a chauffeur for a super rich fam. suffered from depression. attempted suicide, but thankfully, was found before it was too late. after that, she was sent to paris and attended cooking school. fell in love with paris, and also healed. developed a love for life. became a fashion designer.

capheus onyango - son of a local leader who was murdered when capehus was young. was raised by his mother who he loves more than this earth. spent awhile driving a bus called the “van damme.” is a sensate, meaning he is connected to seven other people. idealistic, kind, and too good for this world.

princess fiona - i’ll mostly be playing her with a real life fc. she’s a princess, an actual princess, and her parents had her in a tower for years bc there was a spell on her that turned her into an ogre at night. so kinda like the swan princess but instead of a swan, she’s an ogre. black belt. enjoys burping.

shrek - an ogre, however, if i keep him, ill be playing him mostly with a real life fc. isolated from a young age, had to take care of himself. is insecure because of how he looks and who he is. enjoys burping as well. has layers.

charles brooks - in charge of a publishing company. divorced. has two daughters. is cautious when entering new relationships because of his position and his family. respectful. intelligent. is finally starting to live life in a way that aligns with what he likes.

josh - tattoo artist. human golden retriever except more funky. is just trying to enjoy life while he can. definitely a millennial. spontaneous. knows how to have a good time. is super duper loyal and kind.

#( answered tag. )#( musings. )#thanks vicky u the best #idyllicism

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