#I think a lot was dredged up for her doing the re-recordings and it made her reflect on the past (midnights) and present (ttpd)

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Having thoughts about Taylor writing “Imagining your future might always take you on a detour back to the past” in the prologue for Red (Taylor’s Version).

[bisluthq]

Happiness is about folklore era/the music; a lyric analysis.

So I see the song happiness confusing a lot of fans and I feel like it’s actually more straightforward than most of the other evermore songs. In order to understand it, though, we have to keep two things in mind:

She wrote it last and only finished it about a week before the album’s release. 

She said this in EW well prior to the album’s release: have this weird thing that I do when I create something where in order to create the next thing I kind of, in my head, attack the previous thing. I don't love that I do that but it is the thing that has kept me pivoting to another world every time I make an album. But with this one, I just still love it. I'm so proud of it. And so that feels very foreign to me. That doesn't feel like a normal experience that I've had with releasing albums.

Taylor has said this was the final thing she made for evermore, and she has also said that usually she wants to “destroy” the previous thing she made. In this case, that previous thing was folklore right? Now let’s look at the lyrics of the song. 

Honey, when I'm above the trees

I see this for what it is

But now I'm right down in it, all the years I've given

Is just shit we're dividin' up

Showed you all of my hiding spots

“Above the trees” is a callback to seven (where she’s both in the trees and high in the sky) and therefore to folklore - and she’s twisting it because again it’s “becoming folklore”, right? Even the recent past songs are not exempt from the treatment. 

“But now I’m right down in it, all the years I’ve given is just shit we’re dividin’ up” sounds like her current re-records situation. So essentially she seems to be saying that now that she is in the midst of the masters drama - re-recording her old stuff and all that, she’s being dredged into past mistakes and problems but she sees things more clearly when she is in the folklore era. 

The “hiding spots” are both a reference to folklore (and again the song seven) and the way she has mixed fact and fiction in this era to create a new narrative, allowing her to share very real truths but in a way that’s obscured through fictional characters AND a continuation of the thought above, where she was more confessional. She’s kinda toying with what it means to hide and what it means to show her truth and kinda suggests folklore era is the better experience of that. 

Then it gets even more explicit:

I was dancing when the music stopped

And in the disbelief, I can't face reinvention

I haven't met the new me yet

So the first line is mirrorball/her cancelled tour and the way she has continued working through “the disbelief”. And she “can’t face reinvention” - can’t do what she has always done as per the EW quote, and “hasn’t met the new her” yet. This seems confirms evermore and folklore are sister albums, right, and that this is one era. And that it’s the first time that has happened to her - that one era spilled into “another”. 

Then she says:

There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you

Both of these things can be true

There is happiness

She is enjoying this right now (there is happiness, in the last line, so it’s not just a past tense thing), but it’s a little bittersweet because she knows there will eventually be an era after this. She will move on and find new sources of inspiration and new musical ideas and styles and thoughts. And she also knows this happiness was given to her folklore and now is in evermore. But she’ll move on from the whole era eventually as well. 

After that, Taylor writes:

Past the blood and bruise

Past the curses and cries

Beyond the terror in the nightfall

Haunted by the look in my eyes

That would've loved you for a lifetime

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

She is moving through all of her past hurts and mistakes and regrets - that’s what she’s doing on these albums, we’ve been saying she’s processing a lot of very old hurts and mistakes and experiences and finding happiness. 

Next, we get this:

Tell me, when did your winning smile

Begin to look like a smirk?

When did all our lessons start to look like weapons

Pointed at my deepest hurt?

Firstly, she is working through a lot of stuff on these albums so these are reasonable things to ask even in a vague way. But more than that, she is hinting at bow the way she worked her “winning smile” was no longer sustainable. That’s what she speaks to in this interview. She couldn’t keep writing pure autobiography or primarily autobiography (I have said she mixes facts and fiction before folklore and I stand by that, but the point is she framed it as such). The “lessons” she had learned started pointing out her hurts. She needed a new modus operandi. 

And so what happens in the next bit? She embraces that new storytelling device:

I hope she'll be your beautiful fool

Who takes my spot next to you

No, I didn't mean that

Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury

You haven't met the new me yet

We get a reference to Fitzgerald/Great Gatsby to distance herself from this (extremely) personal song. And then she immediately backtracks - “I didn’t mean that, sorry I can’t see facts” - she is on the fence about what the narrative device means. She isn’t completely comfortable adding in this fictional character into her songwriting. Her emotions - her “fury” - are obscuring that. And so she says we, her listeners, haven’t met the new her yet. We are still in folklore era. 

We get another twist on this bittersweet chorus:

There'll be happiness after me

But there was happiness because of me

Both of these things, I believe

There is happiness

Once more, there is happiness right now. But there’ll be happiness after this era - and maybe even after she stops making music - but she made an impact in this era (and in the past before) and she created happiness for us, her listeners. 

She continues with that theme:

In our history, across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind

And there is happiness

This seems to reference 1989, Reputation and possibly even Lover - so her last three eras and… possibly more. That’s “our history”, right, the way she has recreated herself over her career. The “great divide” separates this new era from her past ones. And then we get Wildest Dreams but folklorized - sunrise instead of sunset. And possibly Daylight - but the light is flickering now, so maybe it’s also DBATC. The dress I wore at midnight could be Wildest Dream’s “nice dress”, the one she bought so “you could take it off”, or one of the princess gowns from early eras…  like the Love Story one, even. Or even the one in Dear John. It’s both extremely specific and vague, and I think is purposefully what she’s about to “leave behind” right. She’s leaving “the girl in the dress” behind. 

And when she does leave her behind, there is happiness. But it’s still bittersweet. 

We then get:

I can't make it go away by making you a villain

I guess it's the price I paid for seven years in Heaven

Well the first line is very obviously the Reputation era, but it also fits all her other diss tracks and the drags of all kinds (like just the “write a song about you” vibes she gave off for a long time). 

And then the line that broke y’all - “seven years”.... Well, there were seven “confessional” albums. Where she was making “you” a villain and letting people in and now she is stepping back from that. Everyone is still trying to “pin” songs on people and that’s the price she paid for that time. A time she really, genuinely enjoyed. But which she wants to move on from now. 

Then:

And I pulled your body into mine

Every goddamn night, now I get fake niceties

No one teaches you what to do

When a good man hurts you

And you know you hurt him, too

I think this is in part that fictional narrative she started with in the Gatsby thing. Remember, this is deeply deeply personal but she has said that this album is always mixing fact and fiction. So as much as it’s that fictional aspect, she is also saying she used her romances as inspiration - and no one teaches you what to do when you get hurt by that. She used to write songs. But she knows that’s not the only way and you hurt people on the way too. So this is in part the protagonist singing, but it’s also referencing her songwriting style and inspiration and process. 

Taylor then goes back to her early images in the song and twists them a bit:

Honey, when I'm above the trees

I see it for what it is

But now my eyes leak acid rain on the pillow where you used to lay your head

After giving you the best I had

Tell me what to give after that

All you want from me now is the green light of forgiveness

You haven't met the new me yet

And I think she'll give you that

When she is in the folklore era she can “see it for what it is”. The “acid rain” seems to hark back to early albums that had very many songs about meeting up in and reconciling in the rain. She gave us the best she had but what should she do after that? Then we get the Gatsby thing that recurs through this with the green light. I think she’s also toying with the idea that many of her fans kinda want that confessional thing. Many of us want to be let in and to get a window into her life but she can’t quite do it - she’s masking it in Gatsby and characters. 

We - her listeners - haven’t me the new her yet. 

But maybe we’ll like that new her even more, Tay says, in a bittersweet way. 

This is the ode to folklore era again: 

There'll be happiness after you

But there was happiness because of you, too

Both of these things can be true

There is happiness

And again there is happiness. 

This bit is similar to the previous one, but again in the way she usually does in this song and era twisted somewhat:

In our history, across our great divide

There is a glorious sunrise

Dappled with the flickers of light

From the dress I wore at midnight, leave it all behind

Oh, leave it all behind

Leave it all behind

And there is happiness

What’s the twist? Leave it all behind is repeated. She is really insisting that in leaving the history behind she is finding happiness. Now. It is. It exists. But it is, again, somewhat bittersweet because she finds her relationship with this era so confusing - especially, I think, given she is currently re-recording. 

In conclusion, this reading makes the most sense to me and I’m curious what y’all think. 

[ukftm]

**URGENT** Hi. I'm sorry to be a pain but could you provide links to sources that say an unenrolled deed poll is just as valid and legal as an enrolled one, cause my mum doesn't believe me and wants sources. Thank you :)

The name change guide on uktrans.info has lots of information that will likely be of use. 

The deedpolloffice website specifies that an enrolment process is completely optional.

There is also helpful information on the freedeedpoll website.

It’s worth noting, re: the deedpolloffice website and others like it, that it’s no more or less legal than creating a free deed poll using the same guidance. See the disclaimer on their website, and this Guardian article (which is generally quite interesting, but the quote below might be particularly useful):

“...One of the key reasons so many people fail to realise they have a basic legal right to change their name for free is the lack of an official, one-stop government-backed free advisory service.

Although the form you can download from the Ministry of Justice is all you legally need to present to banks and other official institutions in order to change your name, there is nothing on any government website that makes this clear. There is also widespread confusion in local and central government departments and agencies about what constitutes an "official" deed poll.

A DVLA officer we spoke to was unable to explain what constituted an acceptable deed poll if you wanted to change the name on your driving licence, but kept repeating the "original certificate" must be sent. Similarly, Nationwide building society initially told Money it would reject deed polls which didn't bear "the official seal", but was unable to explain why.”

Basically - this is one of those situations where ‘rules’ made up by individual companies as to what they’ll accept can be fairly arbitrary or based on inaccurate information. It’s frustrating, because the gov.uk website implies that organisations are within their rights to ask for an enrolled deed poll (so you might want to omit sharing that link with your mum). However, if someone insists on seeing an enrolled deed poll before they will change their name, they’re asking for more evidence about your change of name than is needed by UK law. 

Indeed, in the case of trans people I think there’s probably an argument that requiring an enrolled deed poll could violate data protection laws and the Gender Recognition Act. Enrolling a deed poll basically means publishing your current and former name, in effect making your name change a matter of public record that can be looked up by anyone. Information on a name change related to a gender change constitutes sensitive personal information, and unfortunately I don’t think there’s specific legal guidance on this, but we can probably dredge up some relevant information on data protection and  the GRA that should scare anyone who is insistent that your deed poll needs to be enrolled.

I hope this helps - but if you have further issues with your mum, rather than letting her worry you into expending energy on providing proof (which is difficult to do, as I’ve said above), I would suggest asking her why she doesn’t believe you, and what she thinks would go wrong if you tried to change your name without an enrolled deed poll. After all, you can create these documents for free, so even if an organisation didn’t want to accept that document (which honestly, they have no legal right to do), you haven’t lost anything by trying with a free option first

~ James

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

Sanctuary

They were set to leave for Peru the next morning, and Mike for one was excited. For the time being, they had their anger, their desire to shatter one Dakota Jennings’ orbital bone into so many pieces that she’d be a droopy-eyed cunt for life, tucked on the back burner and were enjoying both a peaceful evening and the prospect of seeing one of the most spectacular ancient ruins in the world. They never thought in a million years they’d be so enthused about really old buildings, but one would be surprised about the tastes one picks up in the course of world travel. For now, though, their bags were packed, their Uber scheduled to take them to the airport the next day, and NSFW were seated on the back porch- a brick-laid affair housing a Weber grill, a small fire pit with a flame crackling in it, and a set of wicker backyard furniture- two chairs, a small couch/loveseat, and a pair of side tables- one to the left with a can of lemon La Croix on it, and one to the right with a can of Leinenkeugel shandy. Mike was leaned against their partner’s side, smiling a bit at the occasional wink of greenish light that heralded the arrival of the years’ first fireflies. “...I used to catch those things in a jar and carry ‘em around all night like a lantern. Always let ‘em all go before I went to bed, though. I didn’t once and in the morning they were all… heh. Anyway, I felt so fuckin’ bad about it that I never made that mistake again.” Reaching over, they took a sip of their beer before setting it back down again, re-settling in their comfortable place against John’s side, looking up at him. “You ever do anything like that?” “No.” That was what one could call a teaching moment in regards to the pitfalls of mortality. John held the coolness of the can to his forehead before cracking it open slowly as to make the least amount of noise possible. He took a sip. He dug back into those lessons - to those realizations and corrected himself. “Probably.” “Tell me?” They kept their eyes on him, attentive. They never wanted to yank anything out of him by force, but sometimes it occurred to them that he knew a lot more of them than they of him. Sometimes it was if he’d tumbled out of an egg at some point, fully grown and exactly how he was now. Mike treasured any information they could get out of their beloved partner’s formative years, and sometimes, they thought, getting him to talk about that stuff was probably good for him. They remembered the beach in Morocco several weeks prior. Mike had gotten John to speak at length- well, length for him- about his mother, and he’d abruptly stopped, the look on his face sadder than they’d ever seen it. As if he’d just remembered after all this time to let some restrained part of his grief process. It had hurt them to see him so melancholy, but they also knew it was important to deal with things like that. You keep your feelings internalized too long, it never had a good result. They took another sip of their Leine’s. “Everyone has,” John cleared his throat, “Everyone learns where the gifts under the tree come from eventually. Also that everyone and everything eventually dies. Your first pet. Fireflies. Your loved ones.” Mike went quiet a bit at that, the silence filled by the crackling of the fire and the sound of chirping crickets, the near imperceptible fizzing of carbonation from their respective beverages. It was such a sad thing to say, but it was said matter of factly. The weather’s nice. I like that shirt. This book’s okay. Everyone you love will die. Mike appreciated, as always, their partner’s forward earnestness, but something tickled at their mind. Not just that he rarely spoke of himself anecdotally, but the fact that sometimes when asked for details pertaining to his past, the answer was the same. They looked up at him again, brows furrowing a bit. “There’s a lot you can’t remember, isn’t there?” Not an accusation, or a smartass inquiry in any fashion. In fact, they asked it in a tone of almost tender concern. John took another sip, “Some things aren’t worth remembering.” “Well, yeah, but a lot of things are. And even the things that ain’t…” Mike huffed a bit, sighed, tried to think how to place their words. “When I woke up there was a lot of things I had to re-learn to do. For a couple weeks I couldn’t even walk. I had this physical therapist, Lilly. Had the patience of a fucking saint and the wisdom of one too. Gave me lots of little nuggets that helped me get through a really frustrating time. Don’t know if I would’ve got through that shit without her help. Anyway. I think I was at a low point and said something like I wished I’d woken up an amnesiac or some self-pitying shit like that. And Lil said that even the worst memories are worth keeping because they help make you who you are. The good ones give you touchstones to lift you up. The bad ones make you stronger so you can overcome the pain.” He nodded, listening, absorbing their words. He looked inwards to dredge up anything. It would be easy to scrape along the top layer. His first meet. His mother’s funeral. His father’s alcoholism. That time he thought he felt something, not sure what it was, for someone else. John didn’t want to take away from what Mike said here. They had made it clear of what made them the person they are today. Something concealed whispered to him that there was an attempt being made to help. “Never thought of bringing this up. Don’t think anyone would believe me anyway. The detectives, I didn’t have much to say to them. Three hours in, one of them, the one’s name I can’t remember, he turns off the tape recorder. Ray checks my handcuffs. I can’t remember if I had already been charged. They were just waiting for me to say what they knew. They look at each other briefly. And then Ray broke my nose. My arm being fractured wasn’t him directly. That was because I had fell out of the chair backwards and my right forearm cushioned my fall.” He shrugged. “Even though I had came with them voluntarily, the officer’s, now the arresting officer, report had said that I had resisted. Still does to this day. Ray’s dead now so ...” John stopped abruptly before switching away, “You know the rest.” Mike kept a reactionary ‘Jesus Fuck!’ from popping out of their mouth. They knew what happened to that particular fucker- according to the research they’d done, he’d died a long and miserable death from cancer. Couldn’t have happened to a better person, Mike thought bitterly. Instead, they sat up a bit, leaning forward, scrutinizing slightly. There, they could see it now, faintly. Signs of not one fracture, but two, one far older but just evident. They couldn’t believe they’d missed it before. Gently tugging him down a little, they kissed it. “You should talk to somebody about all this stuff. I mean, of course you can talk to me, about anything anytime, you know that, but… it’s gotta be a lot. You can get by and think it’s fine but if you don’t process this shit than…” They sighed, pressing themself close. “...I can’t help in some ways. I’m dumb like that. I hear about bad stuff happening to people I love and the way I wanna help is to hurt whoever did it ten times worse. Which usually either ain’t possible or ain’t legal. But you’ve dealt with more than any fucking human being should ever be expected to deal with. I don’t want you to have to carry that weight anymore and there’s only so much I can do by myself.” They wished that weren’t the case. If they could carry every ounce of that weight for him, they would in an instant even if it buried them. Another stretch of silence went by between the two. John didn’t care about what happened. It already happened so there was nothing he could do. But Mike was stating the contrary. Part of him liked to do what Mike told him to do. It helped create the routine he craved. Part of him, though, wanted to be angry about what had transpired. Just not what he shared. All of it. “Okay.” To anyone not named Mike, the lack of inflection would imply blowing off this suggestion. “I know you’re just doing this cuz I asked. I appreciate that. But I wouldn’t fuckin’ ask if I didn’t think it’d do you good.” It would, at least they hoped it would. Nobody could go through that level of trauma without needing to sort out something. And in addition… perhaps as a recognition by someone who knew better than them… there would be an answer on that other question, the one that Mike felt ill equipped to ask. Mike gave John another kiss, on his forehead between the eyebrows this time, and nestled back close to him. “It can wait till we get home. I’m glad you’re gonna be with me for this.” He responded with a nod and that slight smile of his, and the two went back to gazing out upon their personal sanctuary, finishing off their drinks as evening gave way to night.