#I think Mister Jingles was saved over by my asshole friend

[elder-scrolls-fallout-anecdotes]

Do y’all wanna hear about my first Elder Scrolls experience? Of course you do!

It was my tenth birthday when I first saw it in GameStop. I wasn't hugely into video games at that point and I was super shy and afraid to ask for another game, so I initially told my mother that Minecraft was enough when she pulled a used copy of Skyrim off the shelf. I had never heard of the Elder Scrolls before, but she had, and said it had dragons in it and stuff. I, being a big fantasy nerd, was immediately sold, so we got Skyrim and Minecraft, and went home.

Given school had just let out (in my part of the USA schools let out much earlier in the year due to a start before Labor Day), I had unadulterated time in my room to play video games and shit, so after, like, a half an hour or so of playing around on Minecraft, I popped Skyrim into the disc tray and started it up.

Mind you, I hadn't really been exposed to actual video game violence, (I mean, come on, the worst I had seen were animals in Minecraft dying in a puff of white smoke) so the execution scene in Helgen was a bit of a shock. Of course, my culture shock was quickly blown away by Alduin's appearance in Helgen's courtyard. I went through with the whole prologue and all, picked a male Khajiit and named him Mister Jingles, and then travelled with Hadvar down to the path to Riverwood. Except I didn't go to Riverwood, I immediately crossed the river to climb up to Bleak Falls Barrow (which I didn't know at the time was a main quest location, nor did I know there was a fucking bridge-)

Yeah, so, after I cleaved my way through the bandits, I had the living shit scared out of me by the Draugr, and thusly, I hauled my Khajiit ass out of the tomb with the Golden Claw before I finished the dungeon, which later pissed me off because I couldn't sell the Claw, nor did I know who the owner was at the time, so I was stuck carrying it.

With how terrified of everything that I was, I went running back to Riverwood to actually go along with the main quest because DAMMIT I WANTED TO SEE A DRAGON.

Thing was, it was nighttime. Alvor's house was locked up. And I was a Khajiit named Mister Jingles, who just so happened to have lockpicks. Put two and two together and you'll know why I high-tailed it out of Riverwood just after I got the next quest objective.

Now, when I entered Whiterun for the first time, my mind. Was. Blown.

Mind you, the graphics of the game were much newer then, given it was only 2013, Skyrim looked so friggin lifelike to me, all I could was just wander around the city in absolute awe of my surroundings. Again, I almost completely forgot about the main quest, partially due to the fact that I somehow got lost in the town (I was a dumb kid, alright)

I headed up to Dragonsreach after I finally got ahold of my surroundings, and I just about fucking passed out when Farengar told me I had to go back to Bleak Falls Barrow. Regardless, I put my Big-Kitty Pants on and went marching right back out to the crypt. And then I got stuck in that one dead-end room with the pull-chain, and I just plain left and went somewhere else.

[chloelucia13]

can u write headcanons about being a ghost at the camp with xavier ??

Being a Ghost at Camp Redwood with Xavier: Headcanons

Warnings: angst, fluff, language, violence

Before going to Camp Redwood, you and Xavier weren’t very close. Sure, you attended his aerobics classes, but only because Montana dragged you along.

You stuck out like a sore thumb among the group, a quiet and timid girl who stuck to herself and her books. (Montana always whined about your reserved nature, claiming that “it was a total boner killer.”)

Maybe that’s why Xavier constantly stuck to your side during that terrible night, wanting to protect you from any danger that could’ve come to you. (Or maybe because he really liked you, but you were too scared to accept that.)

And that’s what led to the two of you cowering under one of the long mess hall tables, Mister Jingles mere feet from you both. Bertie was trying to appease him (and doing quite well at it) when the flashlight slipped from Xavier’s hand.

The two of you were completely paralyzed with fear, eyes wide as dinner plates as your mind raced with thoughts of what was going to happen to the two of you. 

The moment Jingles shifted, the two of you split off in different directions. You scrambled on your hands and feet as fast as you could, trying to gain as much distance from the killer as possible.

You turned back for a split second, only to see Xavier get yanked up by his jacket collar and be knocked out. 

You let out a scream of horror before you could stop yourself, watching his body crumple to the ground. 

Jingles whipped his head around, eyes locking with your tear-filled ones. You tried to push yourself to your feet, but you were too slow. 

He grabbed you by the hair, pulling your body off the floor. Your feet dangled off the ground, trying to kick and scratch at him, but to no avail. He plunged his knife deep into your stomach before dropping your body to the floor.

You could only watch in horror as he stabbed Bertie multiple times and tossed Xavier’s limp body into the oven, before your vision slowly slipped away.

You woke up after God knows how long, shooting up from the floor with a heavy gasp. You scrambled to your feet and placed your hands on your stomach, eyebrows furrowing with confusion when you felt no wound. 

You were drawn from your thoughts when you heard harsh sobs sounding from behind you. You turned on your heel to see Xavier clutching a body, your body, in his arms.

“Xavier?” you whispered, slowly stepping towards him.“Y/N?” he choked out, looking up at you with tear-soaked eyes. “H-How?”

You shook your head, crouching down beside him. “I-I don’t know.” The sight of your dead body in his arms made your stomach churn. Then you noticed his hands, his face, all of his skin, covers in blisters and burns. “Oh my god...” You extended your fingers out towards him, gently skimming along his skin.

“I look like a monster."

You shook your head, moving to cup his face in your hands. “No you don’t. Besides, that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that you get the hell out of here.”

But he didn’t listen, which you found out about when he stumbled back into the mess hall the next morning, all of his burns gone.

The first year of adapting to being dead was tough, an empty void filling everyone’s chests as they all longed to be alive (Though you often joked that you felt the same as you felt when you were alive).

Then the killing kicked back up, but instead of Mister Jingles, it was your best friend and her new boyfriend, Xavier.

You and Ray tried your hardest to save whoever came to the camp, but you never succeeded. 

Time and time again, you watched in horror as the blonde couple hacked and slashed every living thing they came across, no remorse felt whatsoever.

And, after years and years of watching visitors come but never go, you finally confronted Xavier.

“Why are you doing this?” you screamed at him, trying to apply pressure to a woman’s neck, where blood was violently spurting from.

“There’s no consequences, Y/N! And besides, they came trespassing onto our property,” he defended himself, a sick smirk on his face.

Once you felt the woman’s pulse finally still, you rose to your feet and advanced towards him. “How are you any different from Jingles, or Margaret, or Ramirez? Huh? Oh, that’s right, you’re not.” Tears welled in your eyes, so close to him you could feel his breath fanning across your face. “You’ve killed so many innocent people for no reason other than because you can.”

He clenched his jaw, gripping onto your arm. “It’s the only thing that makes me feel alive.”

“Taking a life from someone else makes you feel like you’re living?” You yanked your arm away from his grasp. “You’re disgusting.” With a huff, you turned on your heel and stomped away, tears streaming down your face.

For the next few weeks, you avoided him at all costs, usually spending time with Chet and Ray to try and distract yourself. You were so used to feeling empty, so this new feeling of anger and sadness and guilt in the pit of your stomach was quite a lot to handle.

You were sitting at the dock, feet dangling off the edge of the platform. It had only been days since Jingles and Ramirez and Margaret came and that entire concert had became a shit show. Jingles had disappeared, and now Ramirez was held prisoner in the abandoned shack for, what you knew, the rest of his life. 

Footsteps sounded behind you, followed by a presence sitting to the right of you.

“You reek of blood,” you grumbled, scooting away slightly.He let out a chuckle, shaking his head slightly. 

“Guess we have a lot of that to look forward to,” Xavier teased, shucking off his jacket.

You just let out a quiet huff in response. “What’d you use this time?”

“Chainsaw.”

“That’ll do it.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment. “So, you’re talking to me now? What changed?”

“Nothing changed. I’m just being polite and courteous. Just because I’m talking to you doesn’t mean I want to.”

“But what if I want to talk to you?”“Bring all those tourists back to life, then maybe I’ll think about it.”

He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, kicking off his sneakers. “I thought about what you told me.”

“Oh yeah? How long did it take for you to understand the words that came out of my mouth?”

He shook his head, leaning back on his hands. “You’re an asshole sometimes, you know that?”

“Well, I have a right to be.”He pursed his lips, taking off his socks and glancing over at you before hopping into the lake. With a devious smirk, he swam over to you and grabbed your ankle, tugging you into the water with him.

You let out a scream before being submerged in water, immediately swimming back up to the surface and shoving him. “You’re an asshole sometimes, you know that?” you spat his words back at him. “Why the fuck did you do that?”

“Because I needed to get this blood off me, and I also need to talk to you.” He grabbed both of your hands, holding them in his and keeping you close to him. “Can I please talk to you?”

You huffed, but nodded. “Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“I thought about what you told me, and you’re right.”

“Wow, Mr. Xavier Plympton admitting that he was wrong? I thought I’d never see the day.”

“Can you please just listen to me?” You nodded, pursing your lips. “You’re right, okay? Killing all those people, it wasn’t right. I thought it made me alive, but it just... It made me feel more empty with each person I killed. It was like a drug, at the time it felt amazing, but then I kept needing more and more. I was addicted to it, and I hate it.”

As he was talking, you slowly began to make eye contact with him.

“A-And having Ramirez now, it takes that need that I have and gets rid of it, but it doesn’t make me feel guilty or empty. I can get my fix, and I’m doing something good in the process.” He squeezed your hands, flashing you a kind smile. “I-I want to promise you something.”

You tilted your head slightly, curious. “Promise me what?”

“I want to promise you that I will never kill another innocent person. Ever. The only person I’ll ever hurt is Ramirez.”

You nodded. “That’s really good. I’m proud of you.” You smiled softly at him, but let out a sigh afterward. “But... Why are you promising this for me? What do I have to do with all of this?”

“Because seeing how hurt you were when you confronted me about that, it broke my heart. A-And I couldn’t stand not being with you, not seeing you happy. Seeing you upset because of me. I hated it. I don’t want that to ever happen again. I-I really care about you, Y/N. I like you, a lot.”

“You like me?”

“Of course I do. How could I not? You’re so kind and beautiful a-and... And you helped me.” He let out a deep breath, taking your hands and pressing his lips to your palms. “Can you forgive me for what I’ve done?”

You smiled softly, slipping your hands from his so you could cup his cheeks. “If you keep your promise, then I absolutely can.”

His face broke out into a bright smile, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into a tight hug. 

“I’m still pissed at you for pulling me into the lake, though.”

[sockablock]

@fanboyingduringteatime​ you know what you did 

Literacy, Among Other Things (AO3)

“Molly, why didn’t you tell us you’d been to Goldcrest before?” Jester asked curiously.

They were all piled into the cart, bouncing along the dirt path that led northwards to the Ashkeeper Peaks. Fjord and Nott sat at the head, steering the horses, as Caleb kept watch on the left flank and Beau attempted to focus on the right—though she kept throwing glances over her shoulder at a certain someone, seated in the back and gazing peacefully at the clouds. Jester had a napping Kiri snuggled in her lap, and was staring at Molly with rapt attention.

He lowered his cards, and shrugged. “Dunno,” he said. “I guess I didn’t realize where I was.”

She giggled at that and raised an eyebrow. “How could you not, though? Didn’t anybody say where you were going? Didn’t anybody announce the plans? Or didn’t you at least read the sign of the town as you were going in?”

Molly leaned back against the pole supporting their canopy and smiled lazily. “All the towns blur together after a while, dear. And honestly, I can’t be bothered with boring things like that. I’m…hmm, how to say this…functionally illiterate, I suppose.”

“Illiterate?” Fjord called from the front of the wagon. “Illiterate?”

“What, really?” Jester exclaimed.

“You can’t read?” asked Beau, immediately leaning in.

“He is only two,” mused Nott without looking back.

“Go fuck yourself,” muttered Kiri, stirring from her nap. Jester gave her a soothing pat on the head, and Molly rolled his eyes.

“Functionally illiterate,” he sighed, “not actually illiterate. There is a difference.”

“Which is?” Beau prompted skeptically. “I would joke that one starts with an ‘f’ but if you can’t read, then—”

“I can read, asshole,” Molly scowled. “I’ve read plenty of job postings and I even read the first chapter of Tusk Love, remember? I just mean that…that…I don’t know, I don’t retain the information, or something like that. It just doesn’t matter.”

“Molly is not one for books,” Yasha supplied. “But I will assure you all that he is capable of reading.”

“But don’t you like stories?” Jester pressed. “Don’t you like adventures and songs and drama and romance and—”

Molly put up a hand. “Of course I do, dear, of course I do. But I don’t need ink and parchment for that. I can just go to a bar, sit back, get a drink, listen to a minstrel weave a tale. It’s alive that way. On paper it’s just dialogue and plot and, and…literary devices and what have you. But when someone sings it, or reads it, or stands in front of a crowd and spins it into reality, well, that’s where the tension is, where the thrills are, where the stories live. I understand words on a page, I don’t understand why people bother.”

There was a brief silence following that.

“I feel like I should clap or something,” said Beau, shuffling in the cart and turning back to face the landscape rolling by. “I don’t totally get it, but nice speech.”

“I sort of get it,” said Jester, giving Molly a supportive pat on the knee. “Personally I think I like books more, you know, just because I read a lot growing up and I just think they’re really wonderful to have around. But, but, your thing makes sense too.”

“Sailors are like that,” Fjord added helpfully. “They prefer spoken tales and shanties to gettin’ things from books.”

“You are valid, Molly,” said Yasha as she went back to her watch.

Nott shook her head and raised an eyebrow at Caleb. “Don’t you have anything to say?” she asked. “You love books, aren’t you going to defend them? Aren’t they amazing and great and have so much knowledge? Aren’t they the best ever, and don’t you want to get your hands on every one you can find?”

Caleb, who had remained silent this whole time, turned and met Nott’s confused gaze. Then he looked at Molly and shrugged. “Everybody is entitled to their own beliefs,” he said quietly. “I do not find any problems with that, and I do not think anybody should. There is nothing wrong with not being a reader.”

Molly blinked in surprise. Then he stuck his tongue out at Nott, settled back into his lounging position, and pulled his deck back out. “Thank you, dear,” he grinned at Caleb. “For your delightful support.”

Caleb shrugged again. “Kein problem,” he said, and turned back to the hills rolling by.

-------------------------------------------

Molly and Caleb had first watch that night in the forest off the road. The others had already retired to their sleeping rolls after a long day’s travel, tent flaps drawn shut and snoring quietly.

The two of them sat alone beside the glowing campfire. They both lounged in the grass, leaning against a large boulder and staring through a break in the canopy at the moon glowing above. Fireflies twinkled gently around them.

It was silent, save for their breathing, and the gentle hum of crickets. Then Caleb blinked, and looked over, and very softly, asked a question:

“Do you know the story of the magpie and the milkmaid?”

Molly was extremely taken aback by this, but recovered quickly and magnificently.

“Can’t say I’ve ever heard that one, dear,” he said.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Caleb nod solemnly.

“What about the tale of the farmer, his son, and the donkey?”

“No?” Molly said hesitantly. “I haven’t heard that one either.”

“The crow and the peacock?”

“Er…no.”

“The lion and the mouse.”

“Again, no.”

“The fox and the grapes?”

“Are you just describing dumb animals getting into shitty situations?”

“The frog in the well?”

“Caleb, I haven’t—”

“The three monks and the hill.”

“Dear—”

“The monkey and the peach? Or the cricket and the ant? Or the mouse in the larder or the farmer under the tree or the sword in the lake or the spear-seller and the shield or the—”

“Caleb, Caleb, for gods’ sake! No, I haven’t heard any of these bloody tales, alright? Fuck, no.”

“…the scorpion and the frog?”

He hesitated. “Alright,” he conceded begrudgingly, “I have heard that one.”

Caleb gave another nod, which was starting to get on his nerves. “But you have not heard any of the others?

Molly groaned, and let the back of his head—and horns—hit the boulder behind him. “No, dear, I have not.”

“I see. Well, I have,” he said, and turned towards Molly with an unreadable expression. “I know them well. In fact, I know them very well. Those were the first stories I learned to read.”

Molly groaned again, louder this time, and sagged down the rock until his back was in the grass and he was staring up at the stars. He closed his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you were lying before, Mister Caleb,” he grumbled. “Don’t tell me you’re about to lecture me on how important it is to read, and how I should practice or something, and how I should respect the written word—”

“No,” said Caleb, and Molly paused. “I was not going to say anything of that sort. I was actually going to say, again, that I have been thinking on your statement from earlier, and I understand what you are going through. I am bad at communication. Now more than ever, but even as a child I was not very good. And my parents would try to teach me things, and the elders would try to lecture at me, and my friends would try and tell me stories, but for some reason, I could never understand. Perhaps they spoke too quickly, or perhaps their speech was muddy, or maybe I myself could not keep up. I was called slow, you know, by a number of people. This was when I was very young.”

Caleb looked back up at the quiet night sky, and pressed his back against the rock.

“Then Oma Müller, who lived a few houses down, she taught me to read. Those very stories, from a book she had. And maybe it was because I was in control of the language, and I could choose the speed and I was doing the telling, but suddenly I could understand. I could understand very well. Eventually I figured out how to listen to others too. And before I knew it, I was not ‘slow’ or ‘simple’ anymore. I was bright. Intelligent. Even brilliant, some said. That wasn’t really the case, though, not really. I just found what worked for me. And if hearing things works for you, and you know this to be true, then that is wonderful, and I am happy for you.”

They were silent for a moment. Molly felt a strange knot in his chest unwind.

“Oh,” he said quietly, and tried to clear his throat. “Oh. Um…thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

This made Molly chuckle, and his jewelry jingled softly. “I’m…er…glad you think that. I’ll admit, I didn’t really want to say anything about this before. I didn’t…I didn’t want you to think that I was dumb, I guess.”

Caleb frowned. “Was?” he asked. “What do you mean, by that?”

“You’re smart, obviously, and everybody knows it,” Molly said with a wave of his hand. “And you spend all your time pouring through tomes and shopping for books and reading papers and whatnot. I barely read, so obviously, in comparison…”

Caleb shook his head adamantly. “Smarts is not only in books. I am an idiot in social situations, you are the genius there. It is a matter of context. And it is different for everyone.”

Molly grinned at that. “Now that is something I’d agree with,” he said with a strange lightness to his tone. “You’re…you are quite clever, Mister Caleb.”

He could have sworn there was a faint smile across Caleb’s face as the wizard said, quietly, “You as well, Mister Mollymauk.”

They sat in the evening quiet for a while. Then Molly, still lounging in the grass with his hands folded behind his head, frowned.

“If you were just going to go ahead and reaffirm my whole…deal, or whatever,” he said curiously, “then why did you name all those stories and ask if I knew them? What was the point of that?”

Caleb shifted sheepishly and glanced down at Molly, whose eyes were closed though his brow was furrowed.

“I…er…I was going to offer to tell them to you, actually,” he said. “Um…if you would like. They are only children’s stories,” he added hastily, “but, well, they are meaningful to me and if you have never heard them before, and I know you are probably not going to read them, then at least I could make sure you will be familiar with them from here on out, if you want, er…”

As he trailed off, he saw a bright grin creep across Molly’s face. His human vision was too weak to see, but a faint purple blush danced across the other man’s cheeks.

“I’d love that, Mister Caleb,” hummed Molly. “I think that sounds lovely.”

Caleb felt the edges of his own lips begin to quirk upwards. In the darkness, hidden by night, a tiny smile broke his usual stoic mask.

“Alright then, Mister Mollymauk,” he murmured back. “Which one would you like to hear?”

Molly considered this for a moment, face scrunching up as if in deep thought.

“How about the one with the peacock?”

Caleb laughed. It was soft, and barely audible, but it was one of the brightest and gentlest sounds Molly had ever heard.

“Alright, of course. The Crow and the Peacock it is.”

“Does it have a happy ending?”

Caleb considered this for a moment. “Not really,” he admitted. “But it’s got some pretty good life lessons, and if you’d like, maybe we could add a…an…epilogue, of sorts, to make sure it does.”

Molly laughed at that. “Have at it, then.”

Caleb leaned back against the rock and gazed up at the moon. He felt the grass rustle, and then Molly’s elbow rested lightly against his thigh. He startled, and his eyes went wide, but did not move away.

Instead, after taking a moment to collect himself, he cleared his throat and very quietly, so as not to wake the others, began:

“Es war einmal, there was a flock of crows that lived in a tree together just above a group of peacocks. One day, one of the crows noticed his reflection when he was getting a drink at a lake. I am so plain, and so boring, he thought to himself, I wish I was beautiful like the peacocks. So, the next day, he flew to where the peacocks lived and found a feather lying on the ground…”

And down in the grass, eyes closed and chest feeling warm, Molly let the lilting music of Caleb’s story wash over him.

Their campfire crackled beside them. The moonlight hummed, the fireflies whispered, and crickets chirped softly in the distance.

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) PT4

Jesus fuck its been awhile. Believe it or not I actually have 3 whole chapters written including the conclusion to the christmas series so hopefully when I finish one more in between chapter I can actually post weekly again. Think of it like constipation but for writing.

PT4 The Weather Outside is Frightful

“No.”

“Penny please I'm so bored and you could use the babysitting practice.” Leech bravely took her eldritch's gloved hands in her own. The clown was not moved.

“I just saved you three days ago. You are not to leave.”

The nosferatu frowned and dropped his hands. “You know I'm just going to find a way out anyway.” she grinned at him smugly while Pennywise's upper lip twitched over his fangs in annoyance.

“You try my patience little thing” he growled and moved closer to her till she could feel hot puffs of air on her cold cheeks.

“I'm not going alone anyway Fred, Chucky and Drac are coming with me.”

The clown’s eyes narrowed into slits “That makes it worse.”

“Junior let the blood sucker get some fresh air for crying out loud.” Uncle Penny groaned as he turned to Leech’s mom. “I swear he is the biggest drama queen you should have seen him when he woke up the guy put on the biggest tantrum.”

Pennywise snarled and turned to his elder half baring his fangs in warning.

“If you want me to stop then cut the theatrics kiddo.” the elder clown huffed and quickly motioned for the group to leave.

Leech was mostly out the door by the time Pennywise registered she had slipped out “Bye Love don't eat Chucky’s kids!” she called out to him as the old door slammed behind her. The clown’s eyes were alarming red and yellow facing completely different directions. Before he could react to being tricked he felt a harsh tug on the puff of his pantaloons.

“All right Jingles, your baby mama asked me to give you a crash course on how to not completely fuck up your family and my mother always said the best way to learn is to try it yourself.” Tiff began as she pulled the massive creature back into the living room. “Now I want you to sit down with Glen and Glenda and have a nice little chat with them.”

“Oh this ought to be amazing!” Uncle Penny laughed and got comfortable in his seat to watch the show.

-----

“So what's the plan boys local bar? Convenience store? I'm partial to crashing a house party myself.” The vampire said turning around to her ghoulish companions.

“I dunno Fangs whatevers closest its fuckin freezing out here” Freddy pulled his trench coat tighter. Dracula lagged behind slightly uncomfortable with the implications of their outing. Chucky who was being generously carried by Leech called out to him.

“Come on Drac you're lagging behind and getting laid takes time. We ain't got all night!”

“This is very generous of all of you but I do not need-”

“Yeah 200 years is a long enough of a dry spell dude, come on you helped me get my man I'm gonna help you.” Leech shouted over him as she pushed through some deeper snow.

“Woah there fangs let's not push through the deep stuff in a snow storm.” The doll gripped his friend tighter

“I'm leading this hunting party dont like it you can walk.” The vampire stated simply and pushed onward through the field.

“Yeah great idea to take a short cut into town through deep snow Fangs!” Freddy huffed.

“Well the three of you wouldnt let me take the trees and roof tops.” Leech grumbled and continued to push onward.

“Fangs do I look like I was built to Spiderman around? Good Guy dolls are made for hugs not acrobatics and you're too clumsy anyway.” Chucky grumbled while clinging to his friend.

“I've gotten better!” Leech shouted and Dracula coughed.

“Eh debatable apprentice.”

“Oh yeah and when's the last time you actually instructed me on anything” the younger vampire growled.

“Well after you cancelled the last three times to as you so artfully put it, marathon with your lover, I assumed you were far too busy for things like learning to survive.” a dark color tinted the nosferatu's cheeks as she nearly tripped in the deep snow.

“One of those times was for a legitimate movie marathon ok!”

“Yeah that ended in the other kind.” Freddy added.

“So what if my sex life is healthy.”

“Excessive is a bit more like it.” the doll grumbled.

“Ok Pen and I both have big appetites it works out.” Leech led her friends out of the deep snow as Freddy snorted.

“Yeah I'll say! Vampires man you all are in a constant state of horny I swear.”

“Excuse you flatmate!” the elder vampire called out in offense.

“Yeah you're not one to talk you told me all about your adventures before the “Mina” incident. Didn't you bang her friend in the form of a wolf or something?”

“DO NOT SPEAK OF HER NAME”

“Do you need to hold Chucky again Drac? He said it himself he's good for hugs.” Leech sneered holding her friend out as he thrashed angrily.

“Hug me and I'll remove your eyeballs!”

“Hey if I squeeze you tight enough will you say the catch phrase?” the vampire hugged the enraged doll despite his warning. Chucky went eerily still.

“Fangs if you weren't filled with a murderous fear God’s kids you'd be dead right now” he snarled. Leech laughed at the empty threat and patted her belly.

“Gotta love my little security blankets! I wonder how he's doing.”

“My guess is terribly.” the dream demon chuckled.

“I want to say I have faith in my mate but seeing how they're Chucky's kids...you're probably right.” leech sighed and stretched as they finally walked into town. Chucky straightened himself back out as his feet touched the ground.

“Just an fyi fangs you're paying for the therapy.”

------

“Whys your head so big?”

Pennywise grunted in response. He sat cross legged on the floor in front of two children who stared up at their natural predator with wide eyes. The little boy crawled forward.

“Are you an oni?”

“A what?”

“An oni”

“Kid wants to know if you're a demon junior.” the senior Pennywise shouted.

“I am much more than a simple demon child!” the clown snarled with malice

“Yeah yeah eater of worlds, be nice Jingles or I'll make sure you can't have any more kids” Tiffany growed as she sharpened a knife.

“You cant possibly kill me doll.”

“Wasnt talking about killing you” the dolls mother slammed the blade into the coffee table. The clown's golden eyes grew wide for a moment as Leech's mom gently spoke up.

“Pennywise try a more friendly approach with them!”

“HAHAHAHAH Sally baby I've been telling him that for 200 years. It's like menacing asshole is in his DNA.” his older self cackled nearly falling out of his seat.

“Thanks for making me a hit with the in law.” The younger clown grumbled under his breath.

“Why is your eye messed up?” glenda leaned forward crossing her eyes to imitate the clown who began to growl low as red tinted his irises.

“You're lucky I'm dieting”

“And Fangs is lucky you still have a functioning dick right now.” Tiffany warned as Sally cringed.

“Can we not talk about my daughter like that”

“Yeah uh how much do you know about your daughter dollface” Uncle Penny's fingers wrapped around the witch as he pulled his cigar out of his mouth.

“She takes after her father”

“I'm tempted to ask but I think Jingles is about to have a major breakthrough in positive child interaction”

“Mister Pennywise can I touch your nose?” Glen asked eyes wide

“Uh…” the clown glanced up at his companions who all enthusiastically motioned for him to agree. “All right child.” the clown craned his body close to what he usually considered an appetizer. Glen reached forward his small hand touching first the clowns nose then his cheek running his thumb on the smooth clay like skin.

“Its not paint?”

Penny blinked at the question. “No. It is not.”

“It feels like paint though how are you doing that?”

“I can do many things child.” the corner of the monsters lips tugged up with a ghost of a warm smile. This one wasn't so bad, it asked many questions but he could tolerate it. He could tolerate it till its sister began to speak.

“Can you make a balloon animal?”

“Oh course I can” Pennywise smiled wide and reached behind his back pulling out a giraffe

“Not with your tricks do it for real”

Pennywise stared at the little girl completely motionless. He didn't actually know how to make a balloon animal. His his uncle elbowed what be considered to be his mother-in-law with wicked excitement.

“Well? Can you do it or not?” the child asked impatiently.

“I..”

“Jeeze what kind of clown doesn't know how to make a balloon animal.”

Pennywise lunged forward teeth first “NO! I mean I can. I can do anything, I am all powerful and I can easily entertain two little brats.”

“Yeah right you're boring I can do better tricks than you!” Glenda sneered right back in the predators face.

“Oh boy here we go.” Tiff sighed and handed her son to Leatherface while moving to grab her daughter. “Glenda sweetie leave the clown alone.”

Pennywise glared at the child and snarled “Like what.”

“Like this.” Glenda shouted pulling a small knife from her pocket and stabbed the clown in the eye. Pennywise let out a horrible roar muffling the cackling from his older self as Tiffany dragged her daughter out of the grasp of the rampaging clown.

“I'm not paying for therapy.” she sighed as she dragged her kid out of the room.

---

The four monsters pressed onward into town the rising wind kept the wiser safe in their homes. These four were not among that category. Freddy wiped some frozen ice off his scarred skin and paused outside of the general store after seeing the “closed” sign hanging in the doorway. Up ahead of him Chucky groaned.

“Ugh this trip was pointless we're not gonna find anything open.”

“Then let's break in somewhere Drac can do a hypnosis trick or something.” Leech growled a bit her hunger getting to her as her mentor rolled his eyes.

“You could too if you practiced more.”

“Do you want me to help you get your dick wet or not Dracula.” the younger vampire hissed.

“Are you implying that I need help? My dear you realize I have seduced thousands of women.”

“And yet none of them stuck around.” the dream demon chuckled while elbowing his companions.

Dracula swore loudly in his mother tongue as his companions turned heel down an alley.

“Some of them were murdered!” he called after them then pulled his coat tighter hiding his dark cheeks. Dracula breathed in deep to sigh before proceeding forward when something caught his nose. It was musty, damp and beastial with a hint of the forest. The realization hit him too late….They had been followed.