#I think Marina was right when she said oh god I’m going to die alone

[pixiegrl]

dear diary

[moriartyluver]

🦢 anon is back with the song analysis again

ok but teen fl + teen idle by marina is soo real

“I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned”- her feeling like liam is more privileged than her and feeling slightly jealous of him because she saw him as a white b who got everything handed to him

“I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean”- revenge revenge revenge

“I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away”- her being an introvert as a teen and only ever studying and maybe occasionally socialising

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake”- her putting on a facade

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal”- the third line here is kinda like her being 16 and committing crimes ig?? Also fl low-key wants to unalive herself but knowing her she probably won’t try because of all her responsibilities

“The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth”- I know we didn’t get an exact thing abt fls relationship with Theo the pedo but I’d say it’s implied they probably did the deed. Like how when they were dancing in the Ashfordshire arc, liam said something abt fl having multiple partners in other aspects, also in the past chapter u mentioned that fl would visit Theo at night. I think she’d lie to herself and act as if she was just seducing him but really she was probably getting abused by him

“And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive”- fl having her grand duchess glow up post timeskip 👏 👏

“I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity”- fls issues with intimacy with Liam because of Theo. She probably never enjoyed the devils tango until liam came around because she was so used to using it for her ulterior motives 😕😕 also she always is getting fetishised and flirted with by the other noblemen to the point she felt she had to marry a guy she considered her biggest rival just to shake them off only for them to keep going and not understand how uncomfy she was

“I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway”- in the Noahtic arc, fl got drunk a bit and was probably using it as escapism for her issue of an heir. Also fls implied Ed ^^

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone” - fl has slight self esteem issues imo so this lyric makes sense especially because she seemed to be a little meaner as a teen and rightfully so bc her brother literally died because of the British ofc she won’t like any of them. In like the second chapter fl made a comment abt dying alone and I thought that fits

“Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”- fl was suffering since she was like 9 and I don’t think anyone reached out to her tbh if she was really killing whole families at 16. She was probably hella merciless and numb poor girl. She also probably lost her innocence because of Theo and other weird noble guys

also she fits seventeen by marina too. If she was an mtp character she’d probably get angst edits to that one bit “I was brought up as a baby well you don’t know fuck about my family could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen the rise of the king and the fall of a queen”

fl is just sooo Marina coded idc

ALSO I AM BEGGING YOU TO GET SOME REST GIRLIE. u usually update like every day. We don’t need u losing sleep over false lovers I promise. Get ur beauty sleep 🙏

Stop this is literally a whole essay 😭 u are right abt most of it tho

Theo is literally such an asshole I’m glad fl killed him and tortured him

Bro was 20 and courting a 16 year old but wasn’t even following proper etiquette rules

Fl finds it so difficult to be affectionate with Liam all because of that stupid mf.

Grand duchess fl 🛐

Fls parents tried to reach out to help her with her grief when she was a kid but they were both suffering themselves and they were trying to find out who was responsible for fls brothers death while also suffering responsibilities as the grand duke and duchess. They tried but fl shut everyone out because she only wanted revenge

Fl also has really terrible self esteem issues but she doesn’t let it show at all. From her perspective William was just an asshole and she felt like it was unfair everyone treated him better than her. Paris and rory esque relationship tbh

Tbh fl would get edited with like every Marina song she’s just that Marina coded

Also I’m currently on holiday so I’m trying my best to get some rest after my exams. I’ll try to be constant with updates but tbh I don’t think I’ll update until I’m back home because my internet keeps getting fucked up lol

[tsvb]

BPD Terra Markov Playlist

this headcanon is quickly spiraling out of control and now it’s all I can think about......,,,, (oops I got attached to yet another character who doesn’t have nearly as much screentime as she should) anyway Terra has BPD and it’s canon in my heart

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Yn1JoQFBhDKOBj3PFtO67?si=22265b7edbe4479c

Tracklist and relevant lyrics under the readmore!

1. Freaks- Surf Cruise “Don't kill me, just help me run away From everyone, I need a place to stay Where I can cover up my face Don't cry, I am just a freak”

2. Sports- Beach Bunny “Why are we so complicated? Maybe love is overrated I'm tired of waiting, I was never good at sports Save the games for the girls on the tennis court”

3. Guilty- MARINA “Oh I'm a guilty one And know what I have done Yeah, I'm a troubled one And I won't be forgiven”

4. So Nice So Smart- Kimya Dawson “You're so nice and you're so smart You're such a good friend I have to break your heart I’ll tell you that I love you then I'll tear your world apart Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart”

5. Someone You Loved- Lewis Capaldi “Now the day bleeds into nightfall And you're not here to get me through it all I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved”

6. Wrecking Ball- Mother Mother “I am unruly in the stands I am a rock on top of the sand I am a fist amidst the hands And I break it just because I can”

7. Anything Like Me- Poppy “This isn't a fight to be won Go on and give up the gun If this is a test, with all due respect You're not gonna fool no one”

8. Villainous Thing- Shayfer James “Soaked and shivered from the rain You have always been a delicate disaster Fine in fire and of frame Me and you are overdue for fiendish laughter”

9. Control- Halsey “All the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control?”

10. Look What You Made Me Do- Taylor Swift “But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice”

11. You Should See Me in a Crown- Billie Eilish “You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one”

12. Bad Bad Things- AJJ “So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection Of a coward you and I both hate very much And then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat And I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull”

13. Choke- I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME “Now shut your dirty mouth If I could burn this town I wouldn't hesitate To smile while you suffocate and die”

14. Brave as a Noun- AJJ “I could go off the deep end I could kill all my best friends I could follow those stylish trends And God knows I could make amends”

15. Arsonist’s Lullaby- Hozier “When I was sixteen, my senses fooled me Thought gasoline was on my clothes I knew that something would always rule me I knew the scent was mine alone”

16. Feel Better- Penelope Scott "No one's ever gonna love me like that again I don't wanna get over it I wanna rip the stars to shreds I don't wanna feel better”

17. Autoclave- The Mountain Goats “Hand me your hand, let me look in your eyes As my last chance to feel human begins to vaporize Maybe it's the heat in here, maybe it's the pressure You ought to head for the exits, the sooner the better”

18. A Burning Hill- Mitski “And I am the fire and I am the forest And I am a witness watching it I stand in a valley watching it And you’re not there at all”

19. Love Like You- Rebecca Sugar “If I could begin to be Half of what you think of me I could do about anything I could even learn how to love”

20. The Blower’s Daughter- Damien Rice “And so it is, just like you said it would be Life goes easy on me most of the time And so it is, the shorter story No love, no glory, no hero in her sky”

[iheartbookbran]

Anthony, Penelope, Marina and Colin deserved better...

Beware, rant ahead

Ok I wish I didn’t feel such strong need to continue beating this dead horse but oopsie, I will very much be beating it some more.

Like, my fave books of the Bridgerton series are Anthony’s and Colin’s books, so I’m seething about what they did with their characterizations, Anthony and Penelope in particular, because Colin’s only real sin was being boring, and if you remember how funny he’s in the books it makes me wanna fall on my knees and ask Chris Van Dusen whyyyy omg why would you do something like that to such a dynamic character. So yeah, Colin is boring af and a moron but at least he isn’t an asshole the way show Anthony and Penelope are, and I’ve seen people say that they can always be redeemed in future seasons, if we get them, but that’s exactly my problem, because they never had to be redeemed in the books, to begin with. Penelope more so than Anthony but let me begin by defending my boy.

Is he a jerk sometimes? Sure. Is he actively awful and uncaring towards those close to him, especially his family? Hell no, quite the opposite, in fact. Not to be controversial on main but in the books... he was right in not wanting Daphne to be courted by a man who he knew damn right had no intention of marrying her and as far as he was aware was only making her waste her time, and he was right in demanding Simon pay for compromising her honor. Could he have been more mindful of what Daphne had to say and listened to her wishes? Of course, but considering Simon and Daphne (both in the show and in the books) aren’t exactly masters in communication themselves, Anthony doesn’t come off as the biggest offender in that situation.

What he never did was force Daphne, or any of his sisters really, to do anything; if they didn’t like a guy then that guy was out of their lives no question asked, and he loved them enough to always have their best interests at heart, for his sisters and his brothers, to the point that even though he’s traumatized and thinks he’s gonna die young he’s still willing to get past that to do his duty and marry, because he doesn’t want to pass that burden on to his little brothers (so him deciding to leave all his responsibilities to Benedict so he can fck off with his mistress is... like, a choice lmao). In fact all the subplot with Siena felt like a choice on the writers part, like they truly liked Benedict and Sophie’s story so they just slapped it on Anthony so he could act all sad and sexy while they gave us foreshadowing with the subtlety of a warharmer that he’s ending up with Kate anyways (and that Benedict is ending with Sophie anyways too, so they would be using that storyline twice, unless they do make him bi and fall in love with a man, but maybe that’s too much of ask for this show), so what was Siena’s purpose in the story? Who tf knows not me.

Now Penelope, my god. Yes I know I joke Penny has never done anything wrong in her life, and I still love her, but she was wrong. Very much so. What she did was significantly worse than what Marina did, which I still don’t condone at all. Like yes, I still maintain that Marina tricking Colin into marriage was wrong (and I’ll go later on why that whole subplot was racist af), but what Penelope did could have not only ruined Marina and herself and her sisters reputations, but it was basically condemning an innocent unborn child to a life in the streets, that’s messed up. Even if Marina was rose-coloring her potential life with Colin and he might have grown to resent her, at least the baby would’ve been alright. And my problem with that whole subplot is that all of it was resolved so neatly, with Sir Phillip sweeping in to save the day so we don’t have to actually see what Penelope’s actions could have caused, but the implications are still very much there.

And I’m cracking my mind trying to figure out whether the showrunners just... really hate Colin’s book and Penelope as a character so they’re trying to inflict some kind of character assassination on her so they can get away with writing him off with another person without causing much outrage, or if they just thought there wasn’t enough ~drama~ or stakes on their book so they have to add them, and give him some kind of bullshit tragic romantic past to explain why he doesn’t want to marry, whereas in the books, the reason he doesn’t marry anyone is because he doesn’t feel like it, and that’s ok, there’s no need for every character to have a tragic backstory and to be riddled with angst; Colin is that character, he’s an easy going guy who’s just not interested in marriage until he falls in love with Penny AND THAT’S VALID, just because he doesn’t have the most complex motivations out there doesn’t mean he isn’t a compelling character. The stakes in his story after he discovers Penny is Whistledown are, as he points out, that she has insulted so many people there’s no way some of them wouldn’t want to retaliate if word came out, and he cares for her and doesn’t want her to get hurt (there’s also a dumb part about him being secretly jealous of her accomplishments as Whistledown, but thankfully he gets over that pretty quickly).

But while I am on that, it is true that Penelope wrote some uncharitable things about the mean people around her, but she never ever ruined someone’s reputation, let alone endanger the future of a child. Was she a bitch sometimes? Yeah, but she was also kind to a lot of people and her criticism was never unwarranted and never did more damage than maybe annoy a couple of girls like Cressida. I just hate the idea of this needing to turn into some sort of ~redemption arc~ for Penelope because, again, in the books she really didn’t have to make up for anything, definitely not to Colin, who was actually the one who had to do much of the heavy lifting in their relationship when he realized that he literally slept on her for years.

And now regarding Marina, like yes, she was wrong and I stand by that statement (but not as wrong as Penelope), but tbh I find it hard to be mad at her when they gave her such a racist storyline, as the scheming woc who gets pregnant out of wedlock and then tries to seduce the innocent white man, until the virtuous white girl needs to step up to save him. At least that’s what I thought initially as the writers intention, but honestly I’m not so sure anymore, I doubt they will continue to write her and Colin as a couple otherwise they would’ve bothered to show them interacting outside of her manipulating him and him acting like a bumbling idiot, the most sincere moment they had together was when he comforted her about the lie, but by that time this bitch (me) was empty and didn’t give a shit anymore. Literally all their other interactions where shown through Penelope’s POV to let us know she was sad, and Colin’s most significant scenes where again... with Penelope (because it isn’t as if he has a family and his own moments in the books outside of being an object for Penelope to pine after).

And as I said before, Marina had a—relatively—happy ending: married to a man she doesn’t love (just as she didn’t love Colin) but who will treat her right and care for her and her child in comfort. Is arguably a better ending than if she’d married Colin because now she doesn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining things to her new husband and run the risk of him resenting her forever. Phillip may not love her but he knows who he’s marrying and why he’s marrying her. That’s literally the same fate Marina had in the books, and it makes me wonder why, oh why would the writers do that.

Why create such a contrived plot to give a character who appears in one(1) chapter of an 8 books series then promptly dies, all at the expense of the characterization of one of the most beloved heroines of said books series? Why would you write this racist storyline for a character whose fate is dying? And now I’m horrified at the repercussions that can come with Marina committing su*cide like in canon, because the implications would be that Penelope would be responsible for it (and I hate the idea of blaming one person for the su*cide of another, fictional or otherwise, is harmful and we need to be careful with making such implications), which would make her even less redeemable or like, likable in general. Not to mention that would be like putting the final racist nail in Marina’s coffin by giving her that ending.

It makes me wonder, seriously, if Chris Van Dusen hated Romancing Mister Bridgerton that much, if he loathed the idea of writing a fat character finding love and getting sex that much. I just wanna know why lmfao.

[bianca100302-blog]

Love Advice

I wrote my first fic! Idk how to submit this to the transcendence au blog so i’ll just @ them lol @transcendence-au AAAAH this is so exciting lol

ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138823

“Okay” Marina whispered to herself as she drew the final line on the circle. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for. She would finally know the truth.

“I summon thee, Hearteater.” As Marina spoke these words, black smoke rose from the poorly drawn summoning circle, consuming the candy hearts carefully laid within it. The room filled with an endless void of black, and Marina felt her lungs go cold as all warmth left the room, replaced by ice cold fear.

“Wͪ̏̋ͯ͋Ȟ͉̪ͩ̏̔͋̐͆O͎̣ͭ͋ͥ ̧̱͑̓ͦ̇̒̒ͥD͚̟͛̅͡A̢̰̩͚̍̓̈̎̔R͉͉ͮ̀̾̋̅Ẽ̲̅̅S̘̜̬͙̗̐̍̎̓͒ͧ ͘S̥̼̗̣̩̓ͪU̖̞̱͉̟͚͐M̞̮͚̯͚̣̰͋ͫM̹̗̞̝̣̝̑͗̈̄͐̈͞O̪̦̙͚͆̐̿ͫ̂ͅN͚̱͓̿͌͜ͅ ̥̃͑A̾͆͌̀̽̅L͉̖̯̗̫̙̻ͪC̣͖ͮ͟O̬ͥͥ̆͠R̻̹̙͕̝̰͢ͅ ̵̪͋̉̚T̖̘̫͕̤̱͡H͇̿̋̾͑͐͞ͅE̦̦͇̗͞ ͎̲̝̬̫̰̩̃͆̏D̡͑ͭ̐͛ͫͦR͈̱͕͖̮̔ͤͥ́͗͌̚Ḛ͕͖̻̃͆ͯ͛̚Ä͎̻̖̫̠̒M̙̼̝̭͈̱͟B̮̙͇͓͎̰̈́͗͑̋̄̀E̜ͤ̊͢Ň͚͔͍͌̃̓͑͊D̵̲̻̆̀̾ͩ͛̄̍E̥̙̣͉͔̓ͨ͒̈͘Ŗ̤̇͛ͪ̿ͬͮ͒!̨̠͖̜͔̠̱̒̾͐ͥͅ”

Marina let out a terrified squeak despite her best efforts. “But you’re not Hearteater.”

The horrific figure - it had called itself Alcor - looked down at her and let loose a smile far too wide for its face. “No I am not. Maybe try drawing a proper circle and not sacrificing candy next time.” Marina held her breath in hopes of stopping herself from hyperventilating. It didn’t work. Marina shook herself, she couldn’t freak out here. Not in front of a powerful demon and not without having her question answered. “Are you good with love advice?”

The Alcor looked a bit surprised before once again giving her a terrifying inhuman smile. “Depends on what you're asking and what you can give me in return.”

Marina sucked in a breath. She could do this; she just had to ask. “Okay, so there’s this girl in my class that I’m good friends with … well, maybe not good friends, she probably doesn’t see me as a good friend, I don’t know what we are ... oh god this is crazy I’m crazy this is only a friendship nothing more and oh gosh I’m rambling.” Marina took a second to compose her thoughts before continuing. “It’s just that I think I like her but I probably don’t and I’m just overthinking things. I mean I’ve never had a crush before and this can’t be a crush. I mean I barely know her. We've only been friends for a semester! Anyways I’ve taken a bunch of quizzes online and they all say I have a crush but that can’t be right so I summoned you to ask if I do like her.” Marina's face was redder than a tomato both from the embarrassment and from not stopping to breathe between sentences.

“Le͚͚̠̋̃̚t̨͉͐ͨ͑ mͤ͗e͉͚͕̒͑ ̾g͂e̥̻͎̥̼ͣt͛ ͛̆thͭi͎̞̰̚͘s͑͐ͨ̉ ̐͆st̵̰̹͐ͮr̯̼͛̀́́̌àͥi̅̐͒̊g̙̪̾ͬ̑h̺͓̠t̓̈́:̇ͤ̋͆ y̾ŏ̡̙͈u̅ ̐͐su͉͂͌͋̕m̊͏̻̠͇m̐̌̚o͌ͫn̻̯̬̤̯͗̃̆̅̓̆̇̕ê̅ͥ̓d͈̟̤́ à̌̓ ̇͆b̯͔͈̍͆ͤ͂̀ͩͧlö̡̳ͩ͌̑̇̏̚ͅo̠̯͉̯̽ͦ̐̌̕d͙̻̝ͤ̑̇ͤ̈ť̮̔ͨh̸̭̬̭͗̇ͣͮi͉̥͘r̼ŝ̽ͩͦt̝͕̤y ̪̋͑͆d͊̌ͤ̃̒̑ȇ̄̀͑͝m͈̲ͯ̅͒ͮͮͧ̐͟o̝̘̭ͭ̔́͠n̤͖̒̇ͤ͋̊̽̚͠ ̀̾ͤj̞̞̅ͪu̿ͪͮͤ̽s̶̖̘̏̐ͫ̋̏̓̚t̷̤̩̆ ̟̥̝͞to͕̻ͦ̐ ̖̗̬̇ͭf͒͛̃ͨ́͋̚i̥͎̐̽n̤̗̍͂̃̓͊d̘̣̪͜ o̴̝̻̐u̪̞̅t ̶̫͇͐̏ͦ̃̇if ̧͕̮͓̥̌̏ͯ̌̈́ŷ̥͂ͨ̅̄́̈o̞͈̗ͭ͂̅̌ͭͦǔ͇̓̃ͤ ̛̹̳̯̲̞̟̆͋h̉a͙̻ͤ̒ͩ͆͂̀d͔̳ͭͪ͑̄̋ ̶͋̽̐̇̇̏a̡̋ͮ͗͐ ̼̱̝͓̺̈́̔̏c̢̓ͯ͗͋͛͋r̯̩̮̰̭̀u̴̗̰̠̬̻͈ͭ͌ͨ͊̄̅s̡͉̗̦͕̦͖̟̋̿͐ͤ͂͂̎ḫ ̴̣̐ͫ̓̎o̫̝͚̫ṙ҉ no̯ͧ̓̀ͥͯt͍̮͌̓̇ͭ.” Alcor said while bearing the same look on his face as Marina’s Dad did when he discovered she had been sneaking onto his computer every night to delete any emails he got from the school about her grades in seventh grade. Marina straightened her back as some of the red left her face and took a breath. She knew what she did was stupid to summon a demon for love advice but damn it she was had embarrassed herself enough already and was too stubborn to lose her pride to this Alcor guy.

“Yes, I did the reasonable thing anyone would do in this situation. I intended to summon Hearteater who is known for being merciful and giving great love advice in return for candy or heart shaped pillows but instead I summoned you. Can you tell if I like her or not? In return for telling me, I will give you these sweethearts and a teddy bear.” Marina held up three large bags of sweethearts and a teddy bear with a heart pillow sewn between its arms holding them as if they were worth a great deal. The demon raised an eyebrow at her sudden courageousness.

“L̃oͮ̈̇okͬ ̙̙͊k̎id, I ̣̯̰̞don’t ̃̓ĕ̱̣ͤve̼͖͎̋ṋ̓̄̆ nͮee̞̠̯͚dͧ to̲̺̿̔͑ͣͅ ͈̰̮m̬̭ͮ́̚ă͖̖̖͕̋ͨke ͒͋a ͕̩͈̘̎̑̉ͦ͗̆d͑͂eͨǎ͐l ̃w̦ith͈̙̲̜̪͍̒ͤ ̦̫̦̝̌̔̓̌̈́͗yoú̩̏̓̍̌̇ͩ ̎́to̟̘̐ te̒̿llͧ͒ ỹ̰̯̙̥̺o̰̟̟̠̞̦̹̐̓̂u ̰̖̥li͖ͨ̋ke ͑ͦhẹ̦͎͍̹ͤ̐ͅr.́̂̉ ͨ̉No̝̳͑̓ͅ ͒sͬȁn̉͛e ̽͂pe͆͐̐rs̉o͊n̿͊ wͩȍ̂̀u̦͎̲͓̺̦ĺ̤͛͆d̂ ̩͖̞̔ͨ̇̐͆gͣ̓o̩̙̙ ͇̺̦́ͪt̥̜̻́͗ͦo̼̘̙̓͆ͥ͗̈ͨ̾ a li̩̜̹̍̉̔͗̎teͪra̍ͥ̈l̲̟ ̻͎͉͊d́́̃e̐mͤö̠̜́ͥͥ͌͑n̬ ͎̫ͮtͥoͫ̀̐ ̣̬̬̲̮ͥ͑̔sͬ͑ee ̠̄̀̿ͪ̆if t̹̜̣hè͕͆̎y ha̞͑ͣ̇d͌̂ a ̾ͥcru̫ͣ̽sͫhͧ̑ unlͨe̋̈́̓̚s̟͕̬ͨs͓̱̘̤̈̓ͧ̔ thͩey w͛e̩̣̞̝̔̈̌ͣ͑̍ͣṛ͙͓͂͛e f̄ͭă͌l̟͛̂̐ling̫̺̭͕͔ͫ fo͕̥̫̦̼̹ͨ̽r͓͐͂̉̚ tḧaͣ̚t ̾ͪpẽ̻̇ͭr͕̱̃ͮ͗son hả͚̪̊r̟̘ͫ̀d̻͖͔.͉̘̯”

Marina got red again and seemed to shrink into herself in shame before turning that embarrassment into anger toward Alcor. “What do you know about love huh! You’re not Hearteater! And you can’t know that for sure maybe this is just friendship. She’s-she … Sally wouldn’t like me back anyway, what's the point.” At this, Alcor’s face softened. “Al̦r̲i͈͉̐ͧ̓ͤ̅̓g̭̰̞̼͂̐ĥ̘̰ͬt͈̅̽ͥ͊ͯͅ,̫̼̺̟̮ͅ ̖̲̫͚̼̬̾ͣ̚I̒’̯̬̇̎̒ͦ̔̑l̃̎́ͫ͆ḻ̋̈́̊ͦ tã̘̬̠kͣ̂ͫͫ̔͌ͩe̖͉̞̩̫̩͒̇̈́̏̇ ̈́̈́th̖̙͂ͮͮeͩ ̟caͧ̇̇n̟͈̰̤̋͊͂̇͂̀̾d͍̺͇ỹ in̊ ͂̆̏r̳̣ͅe͐̇tu͆ͬ̊r̓̚n̍̃͊̐ fòͫ̓rͬ ̇̈͛r̪͔e̱̯a͎̹͈̗d͓̘͍i͓͗̔n͔̯̈́g͖̊ ͗͛y̓ͦoǔ̻̙̪̑r ̹̙̩̂ä́̄̄u̗̥͙͊̍r͛͗͗a͂̏ ͊̔̀a̔̈n̑͑d̖̥̝̻̞̞̑ͯ ̮̜̟́̅̇̇tͫe̿̀l̐l͓ỉ̠͓̻͑n͇̤͖gͬ ̝̻̣̍ý́̚o̼̭̦̻̼̓ͨu if̓ y̓o̮̙̣uͬ ̺̮̀lͬi̺̣̰̼̼̟ͤ̈ͅk̀e͗͐ ͫS̘̹a͒̓ĺͣlẏ̟̏͂̃̚ͅ,̹ ̱̞o̥ͬḳ̦͍̤͙͌a̓̈̆̚yͦ?”

Marina sucked in her tears and eyed Alcor’s outstretched hand suspiciously. “Are you being for real? How can I know you won’t double cross me? You're a demon; you’re not Hearteater?”

To Marina's surprise, Alcor began to laugh as if she had just said something hilarious. “M̟̎̒an, ‘you̍̓’rͦe̐ not ̃H͐ͮe̱̭̫͔ͦͥạ͉̪̭̍̒r̈́t͊̔e̽̚atë̙͍͖̊̈r’ - ȯ̍h̻͙͕̯̟ ̱̗͐͛͌͛ͅy̟͆ḛ̂̉̇̐a̾h, ̄̏͂c̰͇̦͉͐au̦̫͖̱̍̇ṣ͖̪̖́e͖̗̘ͥ̀͗ ͗͂th́ė̚ ͓͈̭̈͋ͅn̆ͩ̇am̐̌́ėͭ ̾͂̓H̐ē̽̒a͗͆r̠̦̣̪̖̐t̝̰̞͓͌́ẹͮ̓ate͛̈́r͔ͣ̚ͅ ͍͙̬̙̲̠í̆̈s̃͛͌n͋’t͐͂ ͖̚s̰͑̀u̇s̓ͣp͛ï͈̠͕̣͎̝ͭ̊̑̉ͅc͙̬̙̦̃̓ͧi̟̲̤̹ͨ̚̚ȏ̬̱̥̤̃ȕ͇ͦ̍͂s͌ͬ ͎̘̯̰̝̄̋ͩ̾ͅat̞͉̜̝̯̜͖ͬ̎ ̎å͙͖̉ͤ̐l̞̩̝͔͓͚̣ͦl̥̼̤̲̩̻̑̒.̮͈̖̦̑̂ͮͅ ͇̼͉͗̌Y̻o͊͒̈́̚u͚̣̫ͨ̓ ̣̜̙̥̲̘̈́̆͌ͥͣ̿̈r̟̮̯̞͍͔͊e̥̩̻̱͐̏̓͐̏ȧ̹̑ͨ̄͑̚l͚̻̲ͪͤ̃l̺͓̲̻̠̘̆͂̃͆͑ͅẙ͙̮̄̄͒͑͛ ̪̣͓͂̉͐͛͐s̺̄̍h͋ô̯̣͕͊̃ͅu͂̾l̳̠͙̖d̰ ̗͇̤do��̮͙̯̜ ̽̈̏̚mo͆̄r͕̩͎͕ͯ͑̂e r̘̠̯̫̟é͉̰̲̾̀̐s̯̰̟earcͤh͚̫ ̳͈͊̾on d͖̞̓̂eͦ̍m̌̈oͤ̚ns b͑ͤef̆o̫̞̎r̻̙͆̓̎e̩͎̍ͭ̾̓̈́̆̑ ̥͇̈̍̈̊̆yͫo̗̥̰̭̽́u s͚͓̹̘̩u̥m̙̰̑ͧ͂ͬ̐ͥ̍mͯ̔o͆͑n̿ͫ ͔̙͉͈͒̀̈ͥ̓̾̌tͫh͉͎͎̮e͉̐m͎͍͕͙͉.̍̉”

He stepped out of the circle. How could that happen! Marina researched that demons couldn’t leave their circle and oh my god she was going to die here. She was going to die pathetically alone in her room, eaten by a demon just because she wanted to know if she liked Sally. This was the end, and still all she could think about was the future and Sally. How she could have just talked to Sally about her feelings instead of going to a demon for help and maybe they’d be happily dating by now but instead she was going to have her soul ripped out and eaten right in front of her and there was nothing she could do about it.

Marina was helpless and alone. The demon put his face a mere inch away from hers with his razor sharp teeth and smile wide enough to swallow her head whole. His golden eyes stared into hers, taking in her fear as tears started to streak down her face.

“H̝̥͉̄ͭe̬͈̹ͦ͌́ảȑ̭tͭeͤ͌at̑ě̙̟̫̟̜͌͛rͩ is͐̅ ̣̣̎͑͟juͧs̍ͫ̇tͧ̅ ̑a̓n̏̏̿ ̏̏ac̫̼̱̭t.” He said. “T̋̇h̆̃̊eͣ̈ ͆n͐ạ̽̄m͖̙̯̰̠̭̥ͮ̆e̵͖̻͇̠ͮ̋͑ͅ ҉̖͚͙͎hͪȇ͒ ̺̞̥̪͖c̮̭̿́̔h̖͎̣̩̞̪̍o̞̰̤͓̫͗̚͟ö́̂s͖̎͒̏͑ȩ̤̉s͓̹͕͠ ̨̮̠̯͚̝̠͚̏̅̇ṫo bͣ͗̆e̯̳̻͌̄̽ ̐͆̅c̋a̽͒l̏̎ľ̚ȅ͋d͍̯̰̻ͮ̉ ̬̉̃ͨi͚̝̟̻̝̝̊ͤ͊̌͐s͓̹̼͙ͩ͂̏ ͥ̂̑̓̚a̡͔̚c̤̯̣̙̩̠͙̓̏ͮ͐t̸̥͓͌u̐ͩ̃ͣ̊͗̏��̱̙̰̗aͮ̅̆͌͆̌l̝̟̞̣͕̦̿ͤl͈̺̞͙ͯͪͯ̌̐y̼̹͚͇͈̰̎̄̒̓̍̑ͨ ͪͦ̏͞Ğ̨̻͚̭̦̚a̰͖͓̼̘̜̬͂̍ͩ̅̒̋r͌̑҉̙̘̳͓s̨̞̘͉͆̅h̲̰̗̥̐̈͘ͅb̝̮̯̭̘̹l͉̲̼͟a͕̥̦̜͕̲̋̐̄̈͌r̝̫͈̻̾ͫ̎ͪ̽̈́͛͡ͅǩ̩͙̞͇̠̆̎̉͊͊͘ͅ t̓h̓e ̘͔D͋e͒͒̇c͔͓̜̉̀͑͑͗̀͞e̒͛ivě̌̍r̨͔̻͂.”

Marina felt the world spin around her. Garshblark! The one demon she’d been hearing about deceiving kids on the news and that they had lectured her about in those demon safety seminars at school. She’d always assumed she would never fall for something so obvious like one of Garshblark’s tricks, but oh boy was she wrong. If she had only paid attention instead of being such a goddamn idiot, she would have never gotten into this mess.

Alcor smiled down at her, seeing the horrified realization hit her face.“Ye͛s, tḧ̿a̍ͨ̍ͨ̒̈t̄ Garͬ̎͌̇̀͗shb̎̔̾͒̚lͩar̎͗͌͊̓̅̂k̑̌̌͋̄̏. If̓ yo̞ǘ ͒did ̹̤̦̆̃more̅ r͂̇́͗esèͮ̑aͧr̒ch be̾f̑o̅ͨre yỏ̇ur̤ p̎̂o̐͌͐oͣr͋́ly ̏͌̎don̽ͯe ̣͑summ̉̑onͧs, yõ̾uͨ wou͑ͫl̔d håͩ͗v͐ͭe ̾͑̒reͤͦaͨl̆͊iz̫͈ͣ̌̿é̉dͤ t̉haͯt Ḧ́ear̄t̘ͤͅeater is a̓ very ̈́d̑an͆gͫȅro͉̐us ͣdem͓̅õ͆n that ha̽s be̊e͊n luṟ͎ing his vic̜̚tims͗ into a fä̯́͐lse sense ͐͒of s̋eͫcùrͮi̱̻tͮͮẙ, prỏmisi͔̓ͤ̓̉̓̉ṅ̊g̯ t͂o ͂g̽ive love ̮̻͕͍̥͇̲a̺̅ͭdvi̓c̮̲͆͒͑ͯͬ̌͊e i͆n͂ ̔ẽx̅cha̞ͅn̪̙̹̤ge for ̋̾̄c̺̉an̈́dy, ṫell̰͕̆í̬̇͒ͬͩ̔ͮn̓g͐̋͒ͥ̔ t͔h͎̺͈̣͆̊ͯ̒̐̒̓e̬̜͑͗͑̊m̻̈̏ to summon him̼̜͈̜̺̻̾ ̤͉̂ͥ̐aͯg͕ͫ̂aiͩn wh̅enev̚e͔̓ͬͅṙ ͬt͖̫h͔̠ͣ̊͛eyͣͬ ̂̎n͖̹̏ͥe̮̱̠͐̄̓e̖͚̎̆͊d̄ ͐hîm͙. When they do he ͑app̍ea͒̔̒r̠̋ͭs in hisͤ tr̾ue̋ ͊fǒrm͑, á̪͂nd de͉̖v̲ͮ͆oͪurs ͓t̐heir sͧou̓ls. Yôuͨ would ̮͉̩̜̯havȅ be̍en h͇ͦ̚i̤̺ͅs v̰i͂c̫̅̉tīͭm̂ t̓oo̐ if you hảd̚n't̀ boͫťch̗̘͐̆͒͛̏̅ẽ̱͊d̅ tͥheͭ̋ c̊ir̤͙ͥ͑̓̀cle͌ and s̓um̺̺̮͎ͅmo͗ṅ̹̾̌̇͋̽eͨd̓ m͕ͭ̈e i̚ns̊̌t͈ẽͧad, ă̮̲͉̘̩nͥd tͬr̦͒u͈̦̠s̏ͭt͂ meͩ, w͔͔̪͉͍̻ͅi̅tḣͪ ̙͙̚y̙͙͕��our̅̈̈ t̻̆̃̔͒ĕrri̺̖͖ͅble̋ c͂i̼͚̲͇̱̒r̳͇̪̓��̬cle, h̺͔̀e͆ ̖̭͉͓̎́ͭ̀̃̈̓w̃̽ouldn’t ̼̦̘̺̻hav͂̈́eͣ ̖evenͬ ̉n̔e̞̝͖͕édëd to bő͍̖͙t́hë̯͓͕̾͗r tricͬki̓n̚g yo̍u; ḣ͔͕̜̬ͅȇ'd ḣ͉̪̥ͮǎve̒ ju̿st̤͖̯̤̳͚͔́ eȃ̼ͯͅte̅n ̽́y̋o̎ur̀ so̙̱̠̣͇ul t̟̬̖he ͇͚m̑o̿m̰͍̲̻̰͗e̾nͫt̾ he wa̪̻ͯ̒ͨs ̯͈̠̔s̬ͪụ͉̪̽ͫmm̗̙̠͔̰̪̺ͩo̽̇n̎e̋ḋ̇ whil̙ë́ ̣̥͕̝̤baͬsͭk͖͚̙͒̒ͤͨ̇in̊g ͇̱̱ͩ̄ͫi̫̬͉̰͍̬nͩ ̮̦ͩyou̇̍r teȑri̭̪͍̫͇ͧ̂f̏ied s̠̫̫͕̼̪ͥc̞̳̜̳͒r̉e̮͖̩ͭa̋ms.”

Marina felt like she was going to pass out. Instead, she did the next best thing and threw up.

“D̆ͪ̈͐o̪͖̞͓̰͇͝n̍̈̓͂͐̚'t͐ͧ̅̔̔ͭͯ s̳̭̪͓̑u̧͓͖͎͇ͨͅm̳̱̜͉̺͔̏ͧm͚̫͇o̻̱̟ͥ̉n̺͙̥̳ͬ̎ͮ̅̉̏̏ ͦ̇aͤͮ̍ͪ̇̚nẙ̷̝͓̟̭̗̉t͔͇̉̿͊h͖̳̫̗̎͠i̡ͬ͊́͌̑n̢͚̓͑g̦͈̩ ̷̹̠͎͌ͬ̋ͬͣȧ͓̼̳͆g͇̼̞͚a̼ͯ͛͌́͂ͮͨi̹̮͎̹̋̉n͓̰̥̼͠.̰̼̘̘̑ N͎̎̃ͫͧ̋̒e͈͈̟̬̎̅͝x͙̘͗̎ͥͩ̍͛ͨ̕t̙̝ ̪̲̫ͧ̽ͩ̚͘t̩̬̗͙ͮ̅̄̊̎̾i̿ͦ̐̄̕m̗̤̳̞͖̦̌̎̊̎̋ê̬̥̰̼̫ͭͥ̚͞ ͍̩̭̤̱͈̓ͅy̝͌͊ͣo̽͜u̟͇̰̜͢ ̅̽ͬ̔ͥw̿̂̏̚o̹͚ͣ̈́͑ň̰̩’̘̇̄͗̃̉ͫ͡ṫ b̡̙̎̑ȅ͌̓͗̈́̿ ̈ͪt͉͓̃̇̔̾ͮh͚̝̠̥̦̜̬ͬͩ̓͞i̠̭͈̫̗̙͕ŝ̪͓ͫͥ̎͑̀ ̨̹̒ͭͨ̅l̛͓̘̞̯ͦͬ̅u̍ͣc̮̤͍͍͇̻ͨ̊ͬ͠k̳̬̒̉ͪ͐y̝ͤ."

And with another horrible smile and a tip of his top hat, Alcor had vanished as if he had never been there to begin with. After he left, Marina did pass out.

-------------------------------

Dipper blipped into Milo's bedroom with a groan. Milo, who was lounging on his bed watching season 300 of Dance Moms, jumped at his sudden appearance. “Why do you always just appear in my room without warning! It’s creepy - at least knock.”

Dipper glanced around at Milo’s very blue room. He’d noticed that most Mizars tend to fixate on one thing a lot; for Mabel, it was rainbows and glitter, and for Milo, it was the color blue.

“Sorry. I just wanted to see an actually sane person.”

The air in the room grew stiff, and Milo’s face fell. “Oh no, does another cult need bashing?”

Dipper noticed the change in Milo’s demeanor, and quickly corrected his mistake. “Nah, just dumb teens. Seriously, who would fall for something as obvious as Hearteater?”

Milo let out a sigh of relief. “I dunno, Dippitydopper. Some people are just real dumbos.”

“Yeah. Dumbos.”

[meanie-boy-minyard]

TEEN IDLE by MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS (id say please but that's illegal in this Christian Minecraft server)

Tis illegal, you are correct lol, enjoy!

___________

Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds

Characters: Andrew Minyard, Aaron Minyard, Nicky Hemmick, Coach Wymack, the Foxes, Renee Walker, Betty Dobson, Kevin Day, Neil Josten

Trigger Warning(s): Mentions of abuse, depression, reference to possible self-harm, brief mentions of rape, mentions withdrawal

“I wanna be a bottle blonde,” 

Bottle blonde: Having light blond hair, appearing/is artificially lightened

“I don't know why but I feel conned, I wanna be an idle teen, I wish I hadn't been so clean”

He feels like life scammed him- and having that insight to Andrew, we can imagine why. Adding onto that, he was never a normal teenager. When he started getting abused from his different foster homes, he must have felt that he wished he hadn’t been so naive to fall into their traps or if he did fall into them, be able to get himself out of them. But, the abuse happened, and he couldn’t stop it. And after that, Andrew falls into depression.

“ I wanna stay inside all day, I want the world to go away”

His depression causes him to not want to interact with the world, or anyone around it, most likely in subconscious fear that they will hurt him too. 

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake, I wanna be a real fake”

Andrew loves his knives and his sweets. And ironic yet iconic match. The section I feel we should really look at and notice is the last part about being a real fake. Andrew, even though he does not like being lied to, lie everyday in a way. His blank face hides his emotions most of the time. Neil has said so before, that Andrew has gotten angry or had a darkness go over his eyes that only he notices. Keep in mind, Neil is very observant because he has to be.

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle, Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title, Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, Feeling super, super, super suicidal”

In the books, we have obviously seen that Andrew did not have the most healthy methods. In fact, he even admitted in the books to be “self-destructive not stupid.” (That was Andrew, right? Was that even in the actual books? I’ve read way too much fan fiction to remember.)As for the bible part, we all know Andrew doesn't follow a religion. 

“The wasted years, the wasted youth, The pretty lies, the ugly truth, And the day has come where I have died”

Most of Andrew’s younger life was spent just surviving. Barley at that. When was told beautiful fairytales of this wonderful world but he got the crushing reality that not everyone gets a happily ever after. He might’ve in a way, already considered himself dead.

“Only to find, I've come alive”

Enter Aaron Minyard. Enter Nicky Hemmick. Enter Wymack. Enter the Foxes. Enter Renee Walker. Enter Betty Dobson. Enter Kevin Day. Enter Neil Josten.

All these things, even if he would never admit it out loud, gave him a reason to stay alive and keep going, be it through a promise or just by being there, and helping when they didn’t have to. Even if he hurt them, fought against them, even if they had to be pulled back by another. Andrew was given a reason to stay alive, and the opportunity to thrive.

“I wanna be a virgin pure, A twenty-first-century whore, I want back my virginity, So I can feel infinity”

Even though he was given a reason to keep going, there were still memories. Things were taken away from him without choice, without consent. Even if he doesn't actively think it 24/7, at least sometimes he had to of/does long to have been able to make that choice- like one should- by himself. He wants to be able to make that choice, make that sexual aspect of his life a personal choice rather than a boundary-  a plain full of landmines with the map drawn on his arms over, and over again.

“I wanna drink until I ache, I wanna make a big mistake, I want blood, guts, and angel cake”

He goes to Edens he drinks and cracker dust, but before that he goes to Sweeties which legit has the word “sweet” in the title. He has this anger stored inside him that he wants to release but he can’t just go and fight any random person so Renee is his fighting partner. The spar when either side needs to release that energy, it also gives a space for Andrew to just be able to talk in a different way he can with Bee. Renee doesn't have to be there and listen and respect, but she does.

“I'm gonna puke it anyway”

Withdrawls. Andrew went off his meds every game, when he went to Eden’s when he simply did not want to be doped up.

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle, Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title, Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, Feeling super, super, super suicidal, The wasted years, the wasted youth”

“The pretty lies, the ugly truth”

“And the day has come where I have died, Only to find, I've come alive, Come alive, I've come alive”

Again, as said before, he felt lost- he was lost. Then he found his family, his friends, his partner, his therapist, his reason to stay alive and keep going and keep fighting. That's not to say there weren't any bumps in the road, everyone has their bad days, sure. But he kept going nonetheless.

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist, I wish I didn't really kiss, The mirror when I'm on my own”

Andrew thinks about himself a lot. Not in a snobby way, but in the manner that he knows his boundaries and if you don’t respect them you may end up with a knife in your gut. 

“Oh God, I'm gonna die alone, Adolescence didn't make sense, A little loss of innocence, The ugliness of being a fool, Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”

Andrew, before Neil came in and he got to know him, never thought he would find a partner. One that would respect his boundaries, that would look at Andrew and see ‘human’ and not ‘monster’. Someone that would not flinch

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle, Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title, Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible, Feeling super, super, super suicidal, The wasted years, the wasted youth, The pretty lies, the ugly truth”

Again, just a reminder that no matter how much progress Andrew has, sometimes the bad days win over the good ones. He was lied to, hurt, and abandoned.

“And the day has come where I have died, Only to find, I've come alive, Only to find, I've come alive, Only to find, I've come alive”

“All our lives”

He thought everything was hopeless, but then relief came. There were ups and downs, but for the first time in his life, Andrew Minyard was ready to finally, finally thrive in his existence.

“(Feeling super, super, super)

(Feeling super, super, super)

(Feeling super, super, super)

All our lives”

[mooosicaldreamz]

please do a song by song review of lover i beg u

oh......u didn’t have to beg!!!! i’ll give it to you 4 FREE.

I FORGOT THAT YOU EXISTED: what i enjoy about this song is that it is fun and not especially mean, just like, shrug emoji. i think sometimes when ur in a relationship that is not especially amazing and you reach the point where you forget that you dated someone is the funniest thing and its such a strange moment. it’s a good tonesetter for the album, bc its so fun and chill and like, whatever. it has the same energy that i think we are never getting back together wanted to have. i LOVE the “i just forget what they were” breakdown. what a fun, bouncy song. easy listening to start the album. calvin harris rip.

CRUEL SUMMER: i love jack antanoff vERY much and have liked his work with fun. and as bleachers, and i think his production on lorde and taylor’s albums has been so wonderful. this song just reeks of him and it’s so like, ascendent, how it builds up and up into the chorus. i think it’s interesting that she reaches so high on the chorus. “summer’s a knife/i’m always waiting for you to cut to the bone/devils roll the dice/angels roll their eyes.” the breakdown is once again wonderful abt crying in the back of the cab on the way back from the bar - i feel like this album and its concept brings a much more natural version of taylor that i think has largely (and perhaps rightfully, considering the evolution of her fame and craft) been in hiding since probably red but maybe even since speak now. “I LOVE YOU AIN’T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD // HE LOOKS SO PRETTY LIKE A DEVIL” while she’s screaming it is more exuberant than ANYTHING on 1989 or rep (and i love both of those albums). 

LOVER: i love how sleepy soft this song is, i love how simple it is, and it’s made me cry like, six times. the wedding band sound is just, so fun and beautiful. it really makes me feel like i’m drunk, happy, and dancing really slow on an emptying dancefloor. i’m going to assume that was the vibe. it’s so soft. god it feels like a cloud. i enjoy how simple the lyrics are in this song, and how the words get to breathe and simmer. they take on a lot of meaning bc of how much space they’re given by the echo and by pacing. it’s so nice. i’ve gone back and forth on whether i like the wedding vows thing, but i think it might be nice. i love “swear to be overdramatic AND TRUE! to my lover”

THE MAN: the bumpy sound of the bass beat is really fun, and i think the song is a good bop, but it doesn’t say anything i don’t already know - but i think taylor bringing up the back end on the Woke train, trying to reach all those people who still aren’t totally sure about the gays or feminism but also think trump is terrible and are now reconsidering their life choices is a fine enough goal for her social justice initiatives. also i just realized she says “getting bitches and models” which she already does, you don’t have to pretend taylor

THE ARCHER: this song is sonic perfection the rolling synths the dreamy voice, the awful awful breakdown at the end of “they see right thru me / can you see right thru me / i see right thru me” “help me hold onto you” i just ... can’t handle this song. it’s perfect. i like the implication throughout this album that taylor is in Love, the big real kind, and i support her and joe bc i think it’s obvious their relationship has totally like, taken her to a new and good emotional space. anyway i like the implication that taylor fell in real, big Love and realized that love is still a fucking mess, like it doesn’t solve all the problems. “ALL OF MY HEROES DIE ALL ALONE” i mean come on. i hate her

I THINK HE KNOWS: this song is a bop “i think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine” is a stn move. the rumbly noise in the chorus and the synthy breakdown is a beast, it owns itself. there’s a real comfortable self-confidence that i, once again, maintain has been missing from taylor’s music up until now. also that moaning noise distracts me every time. “hand on my thigh/we can follow the sparks/i’ll drive” tAYLOR! inappropriate. i’ve seen some takes on this song that it’s not a fave, but it’s a fun song and people are wrong. there’s not one song on this album that i’m like this is bad in the way that i DO NOT like some songs on rep

MISS AMERICANA AND THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE: the first thing i thought when i heard this song is that it sounds like lana del rey. give it a re-listen, it does. sounds just like idk, “high by the beach” but it also rings a bell for me of electra heart era marina and the diamonds (like “teen idle”). i like this song a lot, even though it’s relatively oblique in my opinion on what it’s.....actually about. “you play stupid games / you win stupid prizes” is a great lyric in masterful taylor swift fashion bc it looks stupid when u write it on paper. i like the shouting breakdown thing that happens on the back end of the song with go/fight/win (OH I JUST GOT that, it’s like cheerleaders shouting). i’m a fan of it, but it’s an oddball on the tracklist.

PAPER RINGS: this song rings with a lot of red’s chaotic energies but with the adult sensibilities that she’s rolling with on this album. i love the sort of down-home shouty stuff happening on the verses, and the “kiss me once / kiss me twice / three times” bridge. it’s a good one. “i hate accidents/except when we went from friends to this” is a fun and good lyric. i LOVE the key change i LOVE the “wrap your arms around me baby boy” for some reason very much. 

CORNELIA STREET: i mean obviously this song is wonderful. i’ve seen much Discourse about this song being related to Kaylor which seems plausible. it’s clear that taylor wrote some of these songs in the present tense when they’re in the past, which i think is really interesting. i LOVE “jacket ‘round my shoulder is yours” what a good inversion of the phrase. i love the way that the phrase cornelia street breaks up the lines in a really weird way, because of how its syllables run. it’s a good song. it’s a soft boi

DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS: early frontrunner for my fave song!!!!! love the opening repeating noise, and the simple guitar plucks initially. taylor’s voice takes up front and center bc it isn’t especially altered/layered/echoed like it is in some other spots on the album. it has an amazing rolling pace on its verses that’s followed by the slower pace on the chorus. “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be okay and they say i don’t know” i am certain that this song is about karlie kloss and i will not accept any other possibilities i know she said it was about a movie but i don’t care. “my hips my heart my body my love / tryna find a part of me you didn’t touch” wow taylor god what a gifted lyricist i hate her

LONDON BOY: this song is fun. “i saw the dimples first / then i heard the accent” i love the rising effect on “walking on the afternoon” resetting with the horns. it’s just a song that makes you bob your head. she does sound like she’s throwing out as many english references as she possibly can which is amusing and i don’t know what the legs are on this song bc of that - it could come across as somewhat kitschy. but! also i’d like to start some discourse bc i think it’s CLEAR that taylor isn’t afraid of using pronouns or even very direct references to who she’s with (this song is basically an I LOVE JOE ALWYN shirt), and it makes it even more clear when she’s avoiding using pronouns or direct description. the two songs before this don’t do that in the same way that this song does. 1989 barely uses pronouns at all. i’m just saying. taylor is bi is what i’m saying.

SOON YOU’LL GET BETTER: obviously this song is sad and it makes me cry i have no further commentary except that it’s a wonderful, simple song that has an excessively odd placement on this album following after london boy

FALSE GOD: this song is sexy! and interesting. the horns come back again, which is good and her voice is lower. honestly the line “the altar is my hips” is just..........a lot for me to compute. “i’m golden when you touch me / hell is when i fight with you” the bridges are really fun, sexy, soft. this song is like when lover ends and a song with a little more of a sultry feel comes on but ur still drunk so its a little sloppy.

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN: obviously this song ruined my life. it sent me to the heights of elation and then i sort of had a hangover on it but i’m back around on it guys! it’s a fun, fun, summery song. that chorus with the oh-oh is just .... pop perfection. the bumpy synth noise that goes ba-duh-duh-duh like it’s reverberating is absolutely perfect for the pacing of the song. it’s excessively well-crafted to the point of slickness. it should have been the lead single but what do i know about anything

AFTERGLOW: i know that i wasn’t supposed to be into i pinned your hands behind your back but i was so. this is a continuation of the theme of like, i’m in love but i’m still a mess!!! sorry :) i like this song but it does not inspire me. 

ME!: i don’t know why the exclamation point is there and it sounds much more like a brendon urie song than a taylor song, but it’s fun! i don’t hate it! i can see why it was picked as a lead single - to really illustrate the tonal change from rep to here, but still. spelling is fun, tho.

IT’S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND: this song is simple and so, so so sweet. i love the childhood friends to lovers narrative, and i just. like it. so much. it’s so sweet. and then obviously the horns come back for this one, but don’t overwhelm. this song is a good palette cleanser after the bombast of me!

DAYLIGHT: i tweeted about this but this song reminds me of clean and long live (particularly long live, it for some reason really sounds like that in my head). but i like that it really relates a feeling that i feel sometimes of like, my life was a mess and sometimes still is a mess but bc i’m in a stable and good relationship, things feel approachable, like, if everything goes wrong again, i’ll at least know for sure i have this, and i think this song sort of shows that off with the  “I don’t want to think about anything else.” it’s nice. it’s calm. i read an oral history today about the kanye storming the stage moment at the vma’s because it’s been 10 years since it happened - and i feel like this album and this song, in many ways, are a plateau on the meteoric catapult of taylor’s relationship with fame that really had started to run before that moment but certainly started rolling after that. i think this song is a demonstration of the growth that she’s gone through over the last ten years that we’ve all watched with such close attention. it makes me feel happy for her. i hope she gets to keep this the way it is. i’ve read that she thought for the longest time that this album would be called daylight and i’m honestly? not sure it shouldn’t be. but the vocal note at the end sort of draws it back thru.

it’s a good album. i think the back half of it doesn’t hang as tough all the way thru as the first half, but overall, i think it’s overall quality is better than reputation even though i think reputation, as a concept album, works very well. it’s a great evolution and a real, authentic thing. very impressive that she’s managed to produce four very different albums successively where as many artists don’t change that much from album to album. but i think that’s evidence of the work that’s gone into them, to be honest. death by a thousand cuts is my early fave. 

[pixiegrl]

x

[paintedsuggestions]

MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS SENTENCE STARTERS (Edited to fit the fromat.) TW: Swearing, Drinking, Death.

THE FAMILY JEWELS

“Was I meant to feel happy?”

“My life was just about to change.”

“Oh, everybody said [Name] is a dreamer.”

“People like to tell you who your gonna be.”

“I do not give a damn if you don’t believe.”

“My problem is my problem.”

“They say I’m a control freak.”

“‘Cause sleep is not my friend.”

“Drinking shampain to forget yesterday.”

“Slipping away to find a place to die.”

“I wonder when the night will reach it’s end.”

“You’ve been acting awful tough lately.”

“Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately?”

“It’s okay to say you got a weak spot.”

“You don’t always have to be on top.”

“Better to be hated than loved for what your not.”

“You’re vulnerable.”

“You are not a robot.”

“Guess what?”

“I am not a robot.”

“You don’t pick up the phone.”

“Don’t be so pathetic.”

“Can you teach me how to feel real?”

“Girls are not meant to fight dirty.”

“Never look a day past thirty.”

“Not gonna bend over and curtsy for you.”

“Won’t you quit your crying?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Feeling like a loser.”

“Don’t get on my bad side, I can work a gun.”

“Hop into the backseat, baby.”

“I’ll show you some fun.”

“Just because you know my name, doesn’t mean you know my game.”

“I’m good at protecting what they wanna take.”

“I feel numb most of the time.”

“I’ve been silent all my life.”

“Oh, I’m a guilty one.”

“I know what I have done.”

“I won’t be forgiven.”

“I was just a kid.”

ELECTRA HEART

“Got a figure like a pinup.”/ “Figure like a doll.”

“Don’t care if you think I’m dumb.”

“I don’t care at all.”

 “I’m the girl you’d die for.”

“I’ll chew you up, and spit you out.”

“Cause that’s what young love is all about.”

“I’m gonna be your bubblegum bitch.”

“All I ever wanted was the world.”

“I can’t help that I need it all.”

“Got you wrapped around my finger, babe.”

“You can count on me to misbehave.”

“I know I’ve got a big ego.”

“I really don’t know why it’s such a big deal though.”

“Get what I want cause I ask for it.”

“Not because I’m really all that deserving of it.”

“In the limelight, I want to stay.”

“You're never gonna love me, so what's the use?”

“What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose?”

“What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?”

“You're too proud to say that you made a mistake.”

“You made a mistake.”

“You're a coward till the end.”

“Why don’t we just pretend?”

“Only if we’re drinking.”

“That’s just how we are with love.”

“Yeah, you may be good looking but you're not a piece of art.”

“I’m gonna make you fall.”

“Love will always be a game.”

“Think your funny, think you're smart.”

“Think your gonna break my heart?”

“A human vulnerability doesn’t mean that I am weak.”

“I wanna be a bottle blonde.”

“I don’t know why but I feel conned.”

“I wanna be an idle teen.”

“I wanna stay inside all day.”

“I want the world to go away.”

“I want back my virginity.”

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist.”

“I wish I didn't really kiss the mirror when I’m on my own.”

“Oh god, I’m gonna die alone.”

“Ain’t youth meant to be beautiful?”

FROOT

“I know that I can’t have it all.”

“Without you, I’m afraid I’ll fall.”

“I know I’m playing with your heart.”

“I could treat you better.”

“I’m not that smart.”

“It isn’t fair, and it isn’t right.”

“You still mean everything to me.”

“But I wanna be free.”

“I’ll ruin you.”

“It’s difficult to say goodbye.”

“Even easier to live a lovers lie.”

“Babe, I’m gonna ruin you if you let me stay.”

“I have spent my life in debt.”

“I’ve spent my days in deep regret.”

“I can’t forgive and I can’t forget.”

“Got nothing to lose and nothing to prove.”

“I’m bowing out.”

“Your just another in the long line of men she’s screwed.”

“Just another in a long line of men she knew.”

“They all say she’s got low self-esteem.”

“I know you’ve been feeling sad.”

“I’ve got no right to be mad.”

“You can do better than that.”

“Could have filled a garden with all the flowers that you gave me.”

“None of them were ours.”

“You know the problem with history?”

“It keeps coming back like weed.”

“At least you taught me how to love.”

“Just open your eyes to see.”

“I just don’t know what I can do.”

[dubocs-blog]

                              ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ 𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒 𝒟𝓊𝒷𝑜𝒾𝓈 

                                       a playlist about a smart and beauty plastic

Valerie, by Amy Winehouse

'Cause since I've come on home, Well my body's been a mess And I've missed your ginger hair And the way you like to dress Won't you come on over Stop making a fool out of me Why don't you come on over Valerie?

Beauty Queen, by Foxes

Why are we so obsessed with cutting skin When the real things in our lives can't get in?Marching to the same drum Every single beat's gone I can hear the dark days comingAnother generation Fighting for attention Can't you see I'm tired of running?

God is a woman, by Ariana Grande

You, you love it how I move you You love it how I touch you My one, when all is said and done You'll believe God is a woman And I, I feel it after midnight A feelin' that you can't fight My one, it lingers when we're done You'll believe God is a woman

Lip & Hip, by HyunA

Trendier accessories Well balancing my eyes, twinkling kling Even your friends fall for me But my eyes are only, eyes on your lips Today, I’m the queen queen queen Just standing next to me makes you the king king king A lot of men want me but it’s you

Agora Sou Solteira, by Valesca Popozuda

Eu vou pro baile procurar o meu negão, Vou subir no palco ao som do tamborzão Sou cachorrona mesmo E late que eu vou passar Agora eu sou solteira e ninguém vai me segurar Dj aumenta o som

Menina Má, by Anitta

Agora eu vou me vingar Menina má, eu vou provocar vou descer Vou instigar, me pede beijo, eu desejo Não vou beijar

Carmen, by Lana Del Rey

The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond Buy her tonight, she's still shining Like lightning, light, like lightning

Gods & Monsters, by Lana Del Rey

In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel. Living in the garden of evil, Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed. Shining like a fiery beacon, You got that medicine I need Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly. Put your hands on my waist, do it softly. Me and God we don’t get along, so now I sing.

L.I.E, by EXID

I pray that you keep this up until you die And go to hell, go to hell (Go away) Oh baby you You should have never been born What do I do, what do I do I’m losing my mind because I can’t stand seeing you

Something, by Girls’ Day

Don’t you look

Into my eyes and lie again

I’m sick of being alone

Your shaking face and words Seems like something is up A strange scent is all over your body Seems like you’re possessed by something

Maybe you felt guilty at my guess I caught you off guard and you’re so out of it Your story keeps changing here and there, what’s wrong with you Maybe you felt guilty at my guess I caught you off guard and you’re so out of it Why, are you scared all of a sudden? Let go of my hand, don’t lie to me

Egoist, by Olivia Hye (feat. Jinsoul)

Hey, for the sin of swallowing you You get bigger and bigger, beautiful you You are me, now I’m you Little by little, soaked into my veins On&on, you and me the endless cycle We can’t be separated, When I miss you I close my eyes and go to you for a while Close your eyes and you come closer to me

Maremotos, by Supercombo

Às vezes, é fácil sorrir Às vezes, só fecha a cara Às vezes, é só dormir Às vezes, não melhora

Às vezes, é fácil ouvir Às vezes, é gritaria Às vezes, é um poço sem fim Às vezes, é uma escada

Calma, vai passar Espera a tempestade clarear Os maremotos de química surgem Bagunçam tua cabeça a todo vapor

The Best Damn Thing, by Avril Lavigne

Give me an A: Always give me what I want Give me a V: be Very, very good to me R: R you gonna treat me right? I: I can put up a fight Give me an L: Let me hear you scream loud

Killer Queen, by Queen

She keeps her Moet et Chandon In her pretty cabinet "Let them eat cake", she says Just like Marie Antoinette A built-in remedy For Kruschev and Kennedy At anytime an invitation You can't declineCaviar and cigarettes Well versed in etiquette Extraordinarily nice

Bubblegum Bitch, by Marina and the Diamonds

Got a figure like a pin-up Got a figure like a doll Don't care if you think I'm dumb I don't care at all Candy bear, sweety pie I wanna be adored I'm the girl you'd die forI chew you up and I'll spit you out 'Cause that's what young love is all about So pull me closer and kiss me hard I'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart

Power and Control, by Marina and the Diamonds

Give a little, get a lot That’s just how you are with love Give a little, get a lot Yeah, you may be good-looking but you’re not a piece of artPower, control I’m gonna make you fall Power, control I’m gonna make you fall

Women and men, we are the same But love will always be game We give and take a little more Eternal game of tug and war

[geneshaven]

Another Ride On The Ferris Wheel

Oliver stepped out onto the balcony feeling a need to detach from the festivities going on in the loft. He took a swallow from the twenty-year old Red Label scotch John had given him for his birthday tonight. The smoothness of the booze brought him a little comfort and it went down mellow, giving Oliver a small core of heat in his stomach.

He looked out over Star City and he had a sudden memory of another birthday. He was eight and his parents gave him a party, a lavish extravaganza that only a privileged boy with billionaire parents could give. Tommy and Laurel and Sara were there. Oliver’s father had rented a Ferris wheel and set it up in the backyard of the Queen Mansion. Oliver really didn’t know most of the invited guests---children of his father’s associates and business partners running around like excited strangers. It was adolescent chaos and Oliver remembered being overwhelmed by it all.

In contrast to the party Felicity had thrown for him tonight, that long ago day in his backyard was an event. But the image of that Ferris wheel kept turning in his mind. A melancholy nostalgia filled him as he remembered the brief kiss on the cheek Laurel had given him at the top of the wheel. It was awkward and not really welcome, but Oliver allowed it because he was sixty feet up in the air and had nowhere to go to avoid it.

He took another swallow of scotch and felt sadness creep into his heart. His parents, Tommy and Laurel were dead now. If those losses had happened to the eight-year old Oliver, it would have given him a completely different life. That kind of grief at such a young age would have molded his personality and damaged his soul. His innocence was still intact back then and his life had been storied and filled with dreams come true. He grew up with that mindset. He grew into his arrogant playboy persona, a person that could have anything he wanted with earning it. That included basic people skills like caring and giving and loving. It was as flamboyant as that Ferris (or Ollie) wheel.

Until he climbed aboard the Gambit.

Oliver turned toward the Star City Marina, just a couple miles away. That is where his true life started. There wasn’t enough scotch in the world to wash away the memories that filled his mind and spirit whenever he thought of that life and what it turned him into.

Oliver took another shot of scotch and thought about the innocence of Ferris wheels.

**

Back inside the loft, the party was a temporary haven of friends, music, liquor and much needed relief from everything that has transpired over the past few weeks.

Felicity wanted the party to be a surprise for Oliver, but she decided against stealth. Not only did Oliver have an adherent ability to sniff out the unexpected, but she also felt that he already had had enough surprises recently. Their entrapment in and beneath the Bunker a couple weeks ago, and everything her and Oliver went through, was still racing in her heart. It wasn’t something either of them saw coming. Just before the EMP explosion, they were still locked in their stalemate of mistrust and anger. When Helix shut her out, telling her that it was Oliver and his team who were the real threat, Felicity felt a sense of loss. It just added more fuel to the fire burning inside her. She and Oliver began a confrontation that could have spiraled out of control, perhaps enough to keep the distance between them and the door closed for a long time. When the blast went off and crippled her again, Felicity was at first scared then apprehensive over the fact that both of them would be alone, not only in the powerless darkness of the Bunker, but also entangled in the uncertainty of resolving their need to come together and face their personal demons.

Felicity stood by the fireplace watching Oliver out on the balcony. The overwhelming fear she had in the Bunker that he might die still brought her chills. In these last two weeks, she replayed over and over in her mind Oliver’s confession to her.  Felicity had never seen him so open and vulnerable as he was down there in the dark. She might go as far to say that it was the closest she ever felt to him. When he told her what Chase did to him, what Chase made him believe---Felicity wanted to crawl inside him and take the darkness away. She wanted to battle the monster. She wanted to live with it and make it her own. But all she could do was lay there against him and wait for him to die. His belief that he enjoyed killing and that everything he created was a lie cut deep into Felicity and made her want to fight and be strong for both of them. It that is carrying his burden and hers, so be it. The methane gas that saturated the air around them suddenly didn’t seem as threatening as the poison pouring out of Oliver’s soul. She had felt a need to rise up and break through the walls of their prison.

Felicity watched Oliver on the balcony and she needed to go out there and tell him he was making a difference, that he was a hero and that it wasn’t a lie. Not any of it. She needed to tell him out loud that she loved him.

**

“Hey…”

Oliver turned around and Felicity was there. Her voice was like silk reaching out to him on the warm evening air.

“Hey,” he greeted her.

“Are you okay?” she asked him?

“Yeah. I just needed some air.” Oliver smiled at her. “Thank you for this tonight, Felicity.”

She smiled back. “You don’t have to thank me, Oliver. It’s your birthday hon…uh, Oliver. I thought I should give you some enjoyment.”

Oliver could only smile.

“Oh, that sounded kind of suggestive, didn’t it?” Felicity felt a babble coming on.

“Felicity,” Oliver responded. “You have given me enjoyment, and not just because of this party.”

An awkward silence fell between them. But Felicity knew it wasn’t because of his implied feelings for her. After what they shared together in the Bunker, she didn’t feel so apart from him as she has in the past year. Felicity felt she could approach him; felt she might maybe even understood him better. Just dive right in, Felicity told herself.

“Oliver…do you remember that night in the Bunker last year? I told you I wasn’t ready yet to have our talk.”

Oliver nodded. “Of course I remember. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Right. It was shortly after that when I met Billy. That night…when we made love…Oliver, it felt so natural. It always feels natural when I’m with you. I mean, not the sex…just being with you.”

“Felicity…”

“Oliver, I didn’t feel that with Billy. I cared about him, sure. He was a good man like you said. But it didn’t feel natural…”

“Why are you telling me this now” Oliver asked her?

“Because I want to be honest with you.”

“Felicity, you’ve always been honest with me. Well, maybe not about Helix, not at first. I understand that what you had with Billy…”

“Oliver, I didn’t.”

“What?”

Felicity shook her head. “I didn’t have anything with Billy. Not like what we had. You asked me, right here on this balcony, it if was real. Do you remember?”

Oliver only nodded, not wanting to interrupt her.

“I told you I didn’t know. But Oliver, I did know.” A tear slowly rolled down her face. “Oliver, that night…that night on the balcony, I wanted to have our talk. But then you said you were totally fine with me being with Billy and I lost my nerve.”

“Felicity, it was another lie.”

“It was…Oliver…”

“I was hurt,” he told her. “And maybe even jealous. And I…when you said you weren’t keeping the door open…”

Felicity went to Oliver and put her arms around him. It wasn’t a romantic gesture, it was a comfort move. “Oliver, so much has changed since then, not just because you killed…I mean…Chase…”

“Felicity, please don’t have to do this.”

“No Oliver, I want…need you to know how much I was aching for you, even though I was with Billy…oh god, is that morbid?”

Oliver didn’t know how to respond.

Felicity let go of him and stepped back. She wanted to look in his eyes.

Oliver swallowed the remaining scotch in his glass and set it on the balcony railing. More silence came between them. Then Oliver completely changed directions. “Felicity, do you like Ferris wheels?”

She looked at him. “What?”

“Ferris wheels. I was thinking about my 8th birthday earlier. My father put one in our backyard at the Mansion. He did this for me, to make sure I had fun on my special day.”

“Oliver…what are you talking about?”

“Felicity, you’re like that Ferris wheel. Ever since I met you, you’ve made my life fun. You’ve put me above everything, up high where I can see things more clearly. You give my life excitement.”

“Oliver…”

“I was thinking after we defeat Chase, and we will, maybe you would take a ride with me on a Ferris wheel.”

Felicity lowered her head to hide her tears. “Oliver…yes, I will take that ride with you.”

He let a big smile light up his face. “Great, and maybe I’ll bribe the operator to stop us at the top so I can kiss you.”

“Oliver, you don’t have to wait. You can kiss me now.”

Oliver moved forward then stopped himself. “No, I’ll wait. Even if years go by, it will be worth it.”

“Oliver…happy birthday. And I love you.”

“And that is the best gift I will ever receive,” he told her.

@hope-for-olicity @louiseblue1 @tdgal1 @it-was-a-red-heeler @memcjo @dmichellewrites @almondblossomme

[esperanzacboronial]

I been running a long, long time Trying to flee that life But I can't seem to leave it behind Wanna visit the windswept shores of a time before When the moon and the stars were aligned

Sons of Witches. a Huey/Elmer playlist

Listen Here 

Tracklist with relevant lyric excerpts + a few explanations under the cut, so if you’re on mobile it’s gonna be long, sorry. 

1. We Intertwined. The Hush Sound (Reminiscence about Elmer and Monica from the perspective of older Huey)

Like vines we intertwined / Carelessly growing up and growing old Frantically searching for her / Inside my head she's somewhere

2. Ghosts. Laura Marling (1700s era Huey opening up - in this case let’s pretend ‘ghosts’ refer to his village rather than to past lovers.)

Opened up his little heart / Unlocked the lock that kept it dark / And read a written warning / Saying 'I'm still mourning / Over ghosts that broke my heart before I met you' Lover, please do not fall to your knees / It's not like I believe in everlasting love

3. Feelgood Inc. Gorillaz 

You got a new horizon, it's ephemeral style / A melancholy town where we never smile Take it all in on your stride / It is sinking, falling down / Love forever, love is free / Let's turn forever, you and me

4. Which Witch. Florence + the Machine (this is The post-1711 Humer song)

I'm miles away, he's on my mind / I'm getting tired of crawling all the way I'm not beat up by this yet / You can't tell me to regret / Been in the dark since the day we met / Fire, help me to forget While tried and tested, it's mine / And it's my whole heart / Trying to bleach it out / And it's my whole heart / Burned but not buried this time

5. Any Other World. Mika 

In any other world / You could tell the difference / And let it all unfurl / Into broken remnants I tried to live alone / But lonely is so lonely, alone / So human as I am / I had to give up my defences So I smiled and tried to mean it / To let myself let go

6. Sound the Bells. Dessa (post-Monica’s death feels if you want some)

Looks like our writing on the wall / Is lorem ipsum after all / A higher tide will wash it all / Wash it all away Go lift your sails up / For one last swell / Go lift yourselves up / To sound the bells

7. Unsafe Safe. The Hush Sound 

No you won't disarm my heart / The last gift you'll ever get from me / Is the combination or the key

8. Sick of Losing Soulmates. Dodie Clark (this whole song tbh)

What a strange being you are, God knows where I would be / If you hadn't found me, sitting all alone in the dark Watch how a cold broken teen / Will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof 'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin / I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me / So how do we win?

9. Mona Lisa (When the World Comes Down). All American Rejects 

Here's another pity / And there's another chance / Try to learn a lesson / But you can't. If we can burn a city / In futures and in past / Without a change our lives will never last.

10. Every Time You Go. Ellie Goulding 

And it starts with forever / And it ends with a touch / And I know that you're clever / And I don't ask for much.

11. No Light, No Light. Florence + the Machine

A revelation in the light of day / You can't choose what stays and what fades away  And would you need me / If I told you what I've become? / 'Cause it's so easy to say it to a crowd / But it's so hard, my love / To say it to you out loud

12. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot. Brand New (SOME ELMER PERSPECTIVE) 

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand / Hope you find out what you are; already know what I am / And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again / You can tell me how vile I already know that I am It'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate

13. Buy the Stars. Marina and the Diamonds 

You bought a star in the sky tonight / Because your life is dark and it needs some light / You named it after me, but I’m not yours to keep You bought a star in the sky tonight / And in your man-made dark / The light inside you died

14. Make You Better. The Decemberists (prime “codependent assholes” Humer) 

And when you bend backwards / I wanted you, I needed you / To make me better But we're not so starry-eyed anymore / Like the perfect paramour you were in your letters / And won't it all just come around to make you / Let it all unbreak you to the day you met her And all I wanted was a sliver to call mine / And all I wanted was a shimmer in your shine / To make me bright

15. Two Birds. Regina Spektor 

Two birds of a feather / Say that they're always / Gonna stay together / But one's never goin' to / Let go of that wire / He says that he will / But he's just a liar

16. Laughter Lines. Bastille (This Is Some 1711 Farewell Shit)

I'll see you in the future when we're older / And we are full of stories to be told / Cross my heart and hope to die / I'll see you with your laughter lines

17. Dear. Maria Mena (Farwell pt.2) 

I thought I’d seen it all when you first walked in / But you shut me up / And challenged every wrong perception I’ve had of myself / And you haven’t ever stopped.

18. I Will Be Back One Day. Lord Huron (pt.3)

You made me swear I'd never forget / I made a vow I'd see you again / I will be back one day and I'll find you

19. From Eden. Hozier 

There's something tragic about you / Something so magic about you / Don't you agree? You're familiar like my mirror years ago / Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword / Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know / I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

20. Solitaire. Marina and the Diamonds 

Hard like a rock, cold like stone / White like a diamond, black like coal / Cut like a jewel, yeah I repair myself / When you're not there And all the other jewels around me / They astounded me at first / I covered up my heart in boundaries / And all the fakes they called me cursed

21. Stardust. Mika 

I could be staring at somebody new / But stuck in my head is a picture of you / You are the thunder, I was the rain / I wanna know if I'll see you again

22. You Hurt the Ones You Love (I Don’t Believe That). Maria Mena (On the subject of “I’ll mercilessly experiment on everyone except Elmer”)

How can you expect more of me? / I come from chaos / Brought up in tragedy  But I don’t believe that / I don’t believe that / You hurt the ones you love

23. Stall Me. Panic! at the Disco 

I had a rosy dream / You gave up on you / And I gave up on me / Well, love came along and said, “Leave them be.” Hold on death, the moon / The star’s a sliver of you

24. I Found. Amber Run (I think this song was maybe literally written about Huey and Elmer) 

And I'll use you as a focal point / So I don't lose sight of what I want / And I've moved further than I thought I could / But I missed you more than I thought I would

25. Should Have Known Better. Sufjan Stevens 

I should have wrote a letter / And grieve what I happen to grieve / My black shroud / I never trust my feelings / I waited for the remedy

26. King. Lauren Aquilina 

There's method in my madness / There's no logic in your sadness / You don't gain a single thing from misery / Take it from me

27. Drops of Jupiter. Train (obligatory ‘estranged friends’ song) 

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star / One without a permanent scar? / And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

28. Old Stone. Laura Marling

Old stone / Ten thousand years and you're still on your own / Don't you love / Don't you love me that way? And if you swear that you're alright / I'm not gonna try and change your mind.

29. Skin and Bones. Motion City Soundtrack 

What if there's nothing more to me? / I'm just skin and bones. / There's no mystery. / What if you're just an empty shell? / All your spare parts were used up by someone else.

30. Hardest of Hearts. Florence + the Machine 

There is love in your body but you can't get it out / It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth / Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face / That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste

31. New Perspective. Panic! at the Disco (Elmer ‘let’s destroy the world together and make a happier one’ C. Albatross)

I wanna live a life from a new perspective / You come along because I love your face / And I'll admire your expensive taste / And who cares divine intervention / I wanna be praised from a new perspective It's not fair, just let me perfect it / Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive / 'Cause seeing clear would be a bad idea

32. Mercy of the Fallen. Dar Williams (hmmmm look at all that star imagery. this is so Huey’s perspective on Elmer) 

Oh my fair North Star / I have held to you so dearly / I have asked you to steer me / To one cloud scattered night And the mercy of the fallen / Who say, hey, it's not my place to know what's right There's the weak and the strong / And the many stars that guide us / We have some of them inside us

[todokori-kun]

(Ok, so I wrote out this super-long message but wifi died when I was submitting it. Tumblr told me I’d lost connection so I’m pretty sure it didn’t reach you.

If it somehow did, though…sorry for sending in another one OTL And sorry this keeps happening, my computer is being really weird ^^;;)

Tysm ;-; I’m glad I’m not annoying you or anything :D Queen Luna is honestly one of my favorite people to talk to as well, though. Thanks for being so amazing and supportive <3

Yep. Ishida’s Back.

I’m honestly not too sure how I feel about this pregnancy though. On one hand, since I never really cared too much about Touka I don’t think I’m going to have a hard time caring for this kid, even if they ARE also Kaneki’s child. I also think this wasn’t really necessary and I don’t want drama between Touken and other ghouls over the child- I want the plot to move forward and to get some questions answered…

However, it is really interesting how this parallels with other parents throughout TG’s story. Touken right now reflects the Yoshimura-Ukina-Eto dynamic, and I’m pretty sure the Touken child is meant to connect to Eto.

See, what I’m thinking about is that TG’s parents have a history of abandoning their children in favor of their ideals, even if they don’t always mean to do so. We have Mado, who was blinded by his black-and-white worldview and ended up dead, Arata, who sacrificed so much for his children that in the end he couldn’t even stay with them, Yoshimura, who left his daughter behind to create Anteiku (no matter if he meant well, it still affected Eto in a negative way and Yoshimura’s actions could be seen as partially selfish; he never considered how Eto would feel about this situation, after all), Kaneki’s mother, who was unable to choose between her child and her sister, and Kaneki himself could also count, having completely abandoned the Qs the moment Arima and Eto gave him the title of ‘One-eyed King’.

The only non-background-character who was actually a good parent is Shachi, I think.

So the question is: will Touken (Kaneki really, Touka seems to have made up her mind completely about this) be able to break this cycle? Will Kaneki choose his child like he wanted his mother to choose him over his aunt? Or will this child become motivation for him? (he’s never been the best candidate for the OEK after all, and he basically admitted to Amon and Seidou that he’s seriously depressed and just doesn’t care)

I’m also curious: pregnancies take a few months, y'know. I sincerely hope there won’t be a time skip. Or a miscarriage, because not only would that be too much for Kaneki and Touka, it would also be bad for the plot (why make Touka pregnant in the first place then?). Maybe the baby will be born in an epilogue or the last chapter. Maybe Kaneki and Touka will die, this kid will become the new OEK and Ishida will make a third TG series. Idk.

Wow, I didn’t intend to make such a long rant ^^;;

I think Thor’s new hairstyle looks cool (sorry Queen Luna) but yeah, it does also look a bit weird on him. Like, now I can’t look at him and think 'oh that’s the god of thunder’, I just think of Chris Hemsworth lol

That typo tho 'Nat and Clit’

Even after all that’s happened in canon, I still feel like Blackhawk have a deep bond and understand each other in a way the rest of the team can’t.

I feel like the fact that Sharon is Peggy’s niece alone makes it a 'NO’ ship XD the lack of development for both the relationship and Sharon as a character just added to that.

As for Loki…ah, well. If he wasn't such a jerk he wouldn’t be Loki.

Oh that sounds really cool :D And well, like I said above. It’s Loki. What can you do.

Haha, thanks ^^ I was obsessed with Bucky’s costume for a while after Winter Soldier. I literally had never heard of Captain America up until then so I didn’t even care about him (sorry Steve…do you still ship me with him? lol). I might actually have had a crush on Bucky at the time. Idk. I was nine(?).

I will drag you into Remember This Cold hell no matter what. It is my MISSION. I WILL make you have feels about Loki’s kitty (Steve got him a cat because he thought he might be lonely). I WILL make you sob over Loki’s redemption arc and his reaction when anyone dares to lay a finger on Steve (SPOILER: when he thinks Steve is dead he teams up with Bucky and absolutely destroys Hydra. When he and Steve are captured and tortured for information he threatens to cut open his own veins and summon a beast with the blood to destroy them all…he’s completely serious about that. One of the major things Steve has to help him with is how he gets desperate and suicidal whenever he thinks he might lose Steve).

Oh, so you won’t talk about Kanae, huh?

With my short existence, I can make a difference- I can be there for him, I can be his knight

Imagine this is Matsumae teaching Kanae about kagune usage and what it means to be a servant of the Tsukiyama family. For bonus angst, imagine that the slip-ups ('do it for her- that is to say, you do it for him’) are Matsumae talking about the late Mrs. Tsukiyama (HC that Matsumae was around when Shuu’s mom was alive, though I guess that’s unlikely considering her age…shush. Just ignore it for the angst.)

Kanae singing the 'I love you’ part from If I Could Tell Her as they fall off the building

Kanae singing 'But what you do when there’s this great divide? And what do you do when the distance is too wide?’ when Shuu is ill

 'I wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn’t there’ and 'There’s nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect and real. You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel’ as they remember their memories with Shuu as a child.

'I love him, but every day I’m learning- all my life, I’ve only been pretending’ from On my Own when Eto is torturing Kanae

And then most of 'It’s Over, Isn’t It’ is from Kanae to Sasaki/Kaneki, of course, but then imagine that the chorus ('And she chose you, and she loved you, and she’s gone- it’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on?’) is like a duet between Kanae and Shuu. Kanae’s pining over Shuu, of course, but Shuu’s POV is after Kanae’s death (referring to himself as 'you’).

Hope you liked this :)

But wait, if you knew all of Urie’s songs, that means you know Still Sane…does this mean you’re a Lorde fan? Because I thought Still Sane was one of her lesser-known songs. I’m obsessed with Lorde’s music, so…

And I’m also a fan of Fall out Boy and Marina and the Diamonds. It'd be cool if you listen to them as well :D

Seriously?! Because blue is my favorite color…wow!

I haven’t watched FMA but I know quite a bit about it (the Roy rain jokes are the best lol)…we actually talked on your FMA blog once ^^ And I’m excited to hear about any of Queen Luna’s OCs! I’m sure they’re all amazing :D (hahaha, I can relate about embarrassing old OCs. I can’t think of any right now but I know I have some). I’ll send you a little info about my OCs in a seperate submission, since this one seems to be getting a little long (though I can’t be sure) ^^;;

Oh, all four of those are lovely! I feel like the girl with the yellow hat (top row, left) has the most icon-ish look, if that makes sense? She also reminds of Queen Luna a little bit, idk why XD but that’s just my opinion, all four of those characters would make beautiful icons <3

Yep, your internet did die ^^;; This is the only thing I got from you... So no worries about spamming me ^^

Aww *hugs* I love talking to you a lot, a lot! So if you ever need anything, I’m here ^^ (I’d add gifs, but internet is slow).

The pregnancy is as out of place as that chapter (once again avoiding pervy words hahah). But... if Kaneki’s a ghoul (halfway) and Touka is a full ghoul, why does the baby need human food? I’m gonna assume Kaneki is the dad because I don’t want to think about the other options. 

I, too, think that the ghoul eating human food/human eating ghoul food for the baby to survive is a parallel for Eto, but we all know how that ended, so idk how i feel about it. Maybe the baby will be a cute and healthy kid who’ll live a nice childhood? Hopefully? Pls let me hope. 

Maybe Eto’ll adopt the baby since she knows the feeling of being abandoned and will give it a nice, happy childhood? HOPEFULLY???

Honestly, I don’t remember who Shachi is, so...

*gasp* you wound me... How could you like that hideousness that is the hair (or lack of it). Jk, you’re free to like what you want ^^ I mean, it’s not that bad I guess... I just liked the old version a bit more.  A lot more.

So much for avoiding risqué words.

I think their bond is mostly platonic? I mean, if Clint wasn’t married and didn’t have tons of babies, I’d assume there was more, but this way, I’d like to think it’s more of a brother-sister relationship. Why am I getting Love, Rosie flashbacks ;-;

Don’t tell me Sharon’s another Jane, this time with even less character -.-

I guess I’ll just avoid Civil War as long as possible :))

AS FOR KANAE

That’s my feeling about everything.

Well, my music taste isn’t quite definable by ‘likes this artist’ or anything, because it’s mostly a ‘I’m browsing youtube and I like this song, so i’ll download it’ one. So Still Sane just happens to be there. As for Fallout Boy and Marina, I do have quite a lot of their songs there ^^ But, generally speaking, most of my songs that aren’t idol songs ?uncomfortable cough* tend to go in the rock direction. Sometimes remixes and sometimes songs no one ever heard about, like Texas by Magic Man or Change My Life from Ashes Remain. Also, Holy by Zolita, although I mostly like that song because it’s so different from most songs nowadays. It’s a bit weird, though.

I really, really want to see all your OCs, especially the TG one that suffers a lot :))

Oh god, here’s my most embarrassing one, the FMA one:

Kk, her name’s Arya, she’s an alchemist (of course) and depending on how I felt at the moment, she was either shipped with Roy or Ed. Most of the time, it was Roy, so the info I wrote down was based on that. Is the cliche ‘sarcastic, but actually a huge softie’ character with right about 0 character flaws, other than being stubborn (’But it also helps when she’s suspicious about the homonculi!’). Now, this isn’t so bad. But here’s the best part. She has a stepdad (bc no oc can have a normal, fully functioning family) that tried to ‘merge her with a wolf, giving her enhanced senses and strength and making her hair white + eyes purple’. I still cringe when I think about her. Literal nightmares.

Then we have a soul eater one, where the girl is both a meister and a weapon (which is, by the way, impossible by the laws of that universe, since the souls of the two types differ greatly) AND a witch to top it off.

Thankfully, I never went too far with the looks, the white hair + purple eyes was as far as I went, but I knew to change it to normal (or try to make an excuse *coughwolfcough* if the universe was one where the colours were mostly normal. And I never gave them DDD+ boobies. 

As for the newer ones, I don’t have many, but from the fandoms we share, I have 1 for YoI and 1 for MCU (this one was created yesterday :P )

The YoI one’s name is Nara and she’s a skater from Detroit, therefore Yuuri and Phichit’s rinkmate. Honestly, she’s not that talented at skating, but she does try to make up for it by practicing a lot.  However, she doesn’t magically get better and lands 1st place, she’s content doing her best and just participating in the competitions, since she has a secondary job.

The MCU one’s a bit more mary sueish, but that’s what makes it fun. Kya, her power is ‘manipulating’ animals (well, not manipulating, it’s more along the lines of ‘animals like her and listen to her) and in extreme cases (when she gets very emotional), human manipulation (technically, humans are animals). When she was small, she was experimented on, granting her the powers. However, the faculty was attacked, allowing her to escape. She tried to live a normal life and was actually succeeding, but then Loki attacked New York and lo and behold, she actually managed to do some hero work, so the avengers were like ‘we’re not recruiting you, but you could be useful in the future so we’ll keep an eye on you’. That’s as far as I got, but I do plan on expanding a bit.  Also, probably predictable, but Loki is her love interest ^^;;;;;;

Alrighty, seems like that’ll be my icon ^^ I’ll probably change the general colour scheme of the blog, so don’t be surprised if everything’s different the next time you visit :P  The name definitely stays the same, though.

As for the ‘she reminds you of me’, you couldn’t be more right ^^;;; In the whole Love Live series, she’s the most similar to me looks wise, but also personality wise. A quiet bookworm who’s fine staying in the library whole day hahah I always cry during her character arc, because I relate waaay too much ;-;

Also, completely random, but I’m listening to ‘Merry Go Round of Life’ from Howl’s Moving Castle as I write this and it would actually make a pretty nice waltz song...

[shinezodiac]

Narrados en una canción (P. 2)

ARIES: Houdini - Foster The People

Rise above going to start the war What you want, what you need, What'd you come here for? Well, an eye for an eye And an 'F' for fight They're taking me down as a prisoner's riot

I've got shackles on, my words are tied Fear can make you compromise Lights turned up, it's hard to hide Sometimes I want to disappear

Focus on your ability Focus on your ability Now focus on your ability Focus on your ability

TAURO: The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars

Today I don't feel like doing anything I just want to lay in my bed Don't feel like picking up my phone, So leave a message at the tone Because today I swear I'm not doing anything

I'm going to kick my feet up then stare at the fan Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants Nobody's going to tell me I can't

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X Find a really nice girl, Have some really nice sex And she's going to scream out This is great -Oh my god, this is great-

Oh yes, I said it, I said it I said it 'cause I can

GÉMINIS: Chandelier - Sia

Party girls don't get hurt Can't feel anything, when will I learn? I push it down, push it down I'm the one for a good time call Phone's blowing up, ringing my doorbell I feel the love, I feel the love

I'm going to swing from the chandelier From the chandelier I'm going to live like tomorrow doesn't exist Like it doesn't exist I'm going to fly like a bird through the night Feel my tears as they dry I'm going to swing from the chandelier From the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life Won't look down, won't open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light Because I'm just holding on for tonight Help me, I'm holding on for dear life Won't look down, won't open my eyes Keep my glass full until morning light Because I'm just holding on for tonight On for tonight

CÁNCER: One Way Or Another - Blondie

One way or another I'm going to find you I'm going to get you, get you, get you, get you One way or another I'm going to win you I'm going to get you, get you, get you, get you One way or another I'm going to see you I'm going to meet you, meet you, meet you, meet you One day maybe next week, I'm going to meet you I'm going to meet you, I'll meet you 

I'll walk down the mall Stand over by the wall Where I can see it all, find out who you call Lead you to the supermarket checkout Some specials and rat food Get lost in the crowd 

LEO: Primadonna Girl - Marina And The Diamonds

Primadonna girl, yeah, All I ever wanted was the world, I can't help that I need it all, The primadonna life, the rise and fall, You say that I'm kinda difficult, But it's always someone else's fault, Got you wrapped around my finger, babe, You can count on me to misbehave... Primadonna girl, Would you do anything for me?, Buy a big diamond ring for me?, Would you get down on your knees for me?, Pop that pretty question right now baby... Beauty queen on a silver screen, Living life like I'm in a dream, I know I've got a big ego, I really don't know why it's such a big deal, though...

VIRGO: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams - Green Day

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's home to me and I walk alone I walk this empty street On the boulevard of broken dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one and I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone and I walk

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Till then I'll walk alone

LIBRA: Pretty Hurts - Beyoncé

Pretty hurts Shine the light on whatever's worse Perfection is the disease of a nation Pretty hurts Shine the light on whatever's worse Tryna fix something But you can't fix what you can't see It's the soul that needs the surgery

Just another stage Pageant the pain away This time I'm gonna take the crown Without falling down, down

Ain't no doctor or therapeutic that can take the pain away The pain's inside And nobody frees you from your body It's the soul that needs surgery It's my soul that needs surgery Plastic smiles and denial can only take you so far And you break when the paper signs you in the dark You left a shattered mirror And the shards of a beautiful girl

ESCORPIO: Don’t Cry - Guns N’ Roses

Don't you cry tonight I still love you, baby Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight

Give me a whisper And give me a sigh Give me a kiss before you tell me goodbye Don't you take it so hard now And please don't take it so bad I'll still be thinking of you And the times we had, baby

And please remember that I never lied And please remember how I felt inside Now honey, you got to make it your own way But you'll be alright now, sugar You'll feel better tomorrow Come the morning light now baby 

SAGITARIO: West Coast - Lana Del Rey

Down on the West Coast They got a saying: "If you're not drinking, then you're not playing" But you've got the music You've got the music in you, don't you?

You push it hard I pull away I'm feeling hot and on fire I guess that no one ever really Made me feel that much higher Te deseo cariño, boy it's you I desire Your love, your love, my love

I can see my baby swinging His Parliament's on fire And his hands are up on the balcony And I'm singing oh baby, oh baby, I'm in love I can see my sweet boy swaying He's crazy y cubano como yo my love On the balcony and I'm saying Move baby, move baby, I'm in love...

CAPRICORNIO: Viva La Vida - Coldplay

I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listened as the crowd would sing: "Now the old king is dead, long live the king"

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain I know Saint Peter won't call my name Never an honest word But that was when I ruled the world

ACUARIO: Imagine - John Lennon

Imagine all the people Living for today... Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world...

PISCIS: Some Nights - FUN

Some nights I stay up Cashing in my bad luck Some nights I call it a draw Some nights I wish that my lips Could build a castle Some nights I wish they'd just fall off

That's alright, I found a martyr in my bed tonight Stopped my bones From wondering who I, who I am, who I and who am I?

Well some nights, I wish that this all would end Because I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win, I always win

Duraznito-.