#I think Ian was more of a father figure to Carl than lip ever was

[tequilaasquared]

Lip and Debbie and Ian and Carl are two of the most underrated sibling dynamics in shameless and we don’t talk about them enough

[abbatoirablaze]

Shameless, Chapter 14

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: mentions of violence, slight angst, all the feels, mentions of mental illness and attempted suicide.

“What do you think we should do about it?” he asked softly. 

You shrugged your shoulders, your head cocking ever so slightly to the side, “what we always do…”

Tony chuckled and pushed a drunken Frank off of the porch.  He sputtered down the steps and came crashing at the bottom, glaring at you, “What the hell, Sofia?”

“Wrong house, Frank!” you reminded him as you leaned against the frame of the door while you held Anthony.

“I thought you said that your house was open to any Gallagher who needed some time or space away from the others!”

“My siblings,” you reminded him, “That rule didn’t apply to you!  And anyways, aren’t you looking after Grammy?”

“She’s taking up my room!” he growled, pushing himself off the concrete.  He brushed off his clothes and returned to glaring at you, “you know most children wouldn’t push their fathers off their porch-“

“Most fathers aren’t you, Frank!” Tony frowned as he moved to the top of the steps, “you know the rules.  You can’t come over unless Sofia invites you!”

“Bunch of bullshit that is,” he growls, “I wanted to spend time with my grandson.  With the latest addition to the Gallagher-“

“He’s a Markovich!” Tony said firmly.

“Oh whatever,” he growled, waving both you and your husband off, “I don’t need you anyways.  I know where I’m not wanted and I’m clearly not wanted here.”

“So glad that you received the memo, Frank!”

He glared at you once more, “you’re a frigid bitch, Sofia, just like your mother!”

“HEY!” Tony growled, starting down the steps. 

Frank scurried down the walkway and to the gate as Tony made a move towards him.  He threw himself over the fence and ran towards the back door, knowing that one was less likely to be locked. 

“Tony…”

“How on Earth do you guys manage to have the same genetics?”  he asked, “better yet, how did you come from him?”

“Just think…me and Fi were tied for first place in that race.”

He chuckled, shaking his head as he spared another glance back to the neighboring house, “you going to be okay if I head over to the station a little early?”

“Yeah…still want me to show up to the station around lunch and guilt the chief into letting you take us to lunch?”

He smiled a little bit more as he walked back up the steps and towards you.  You leaned out the door enough for him to sweep you into his arms and kiss you. 

“Tony!” you giggled as you pulled away.  Your son was happily babbling between the two of you.

“I’ll see you at lunch!” he grinned, pressing another simple kiss to your lips before turning and heading down the walkway, “try not to get into too much trouble with your siblings while I’m at work.”

“No promises!” you teased.

“What if the drugs are really good?”

You frowned, hearing the voice of your sister’s friend just a few hours after the conversation you’d had this morning with your husband. 

“Well, she’s not a sibling!” you said more to yourself than your son as you pushed into the kitchen, “but don’t worry…we won’t hang out with her!”

“HEY THAT’S MINE!” Debbie growled, reaching for the magazine. 

“Debs, I need you to find the backpacks and any old school books!” Fiona ordered, “Carl put the daycare supplies back in the basement.”

“Okay!”

“Roger that!”

“Lip, you and Ian clean out the pool!  I think there’s a few surprises in there for you!”

“Anyone want breakfast?” you asked, looking to your siblings.

“Cereal!” Debbie said, pointing towards Ian.  He passed her the box of cereal and you frowned.

“You guys don’t want me to make anything?”

“Carl tell Lip to do it himself.”

“Lip, Ian says that you can do it yourself!”

“Carl, tell Ian he’s being a douchebag for not talking to me!”

“Ian, Lip said you’re being a do-“

But his mouth was covered up by Ian’s hand.

“Okay, whatever it is that you guys are still doing, I want it over before school starts!” she groaned, “so figure it out.”

“Mommy what’s my assignment?” Jasmine teased. 

You and a few of your siblings sneered, “anyone want me to take them school shopping?”  Tony left me his car?”

“I’ll go!”

“Me too!”

“Oh, me!”

All of you stopped talking when you heard your father upstairs, talking about coming down.  Lip stood, eyes wide, “it’s a rooster in the henhouse.  Hide the money!”

“Morning grammy”

“Morning!”

Everyone split off, Debbie hiding in the bathroom, and the boys all either going into the living room or out the back door.  Fiona hid the money and you stood against that corner, smiling at your grandmother.

“What are you doing here?” Frank growled, “kicking me out and off your porch wasn’t enough?  You trying to get the others to rebel against me too?”

“Wouldn’t take much!” you smirked.  Your father started whispering something to Fiona and you looped around them, going to your grandmother, “Look who I brought over, Grammy…”

“Aww, my great grandson!” she smiled, scooping him up into her arms, “god, he looks like my babies when I’d had them.”

“A thousand years ago!” Frank added in.

“You do realize you just insulted yourself, Frank, right?”

He sneered at you, and your grandmother gently nudged you, “don’t mind him.  He’s a cranky caregiver at best.”

He whispered something once again and started towards the living room.  She stepped forward, “Frank.  Give me two three-minute eggs, dry toast, and a cup of Maxwell house before we go to Indian Bingo!”

“I can make it grammy!”

“See, Sofia can make it.  I just want to-“

“Nonsense,” Grammy smiled as she passed your son back to you, “Sofia and Fiona probably have things to do.  You can make it.”

“You two have fun!” Fiona smiled, opening the fridge long enough to grab the eggs and pass them to Frank as he came back into the kitchen.

You turned to your sister, “I’m gonna find the kids…see who needs me to drive them around.”

“You have fun with that,” she laughed, “I’m going to go tell V and Kev about the boat.”

“Have fun with slut face Jasmine!”

She stuck her tongue out at you as she left the house.

“Kid…wh-what are you doing here?”

“Fiona kicked me out!”

Your eyes went wide, “What?”

“Fiona kicked me out of the house!”

You pushed past your little brother and started down the steps, “I swear to god I’m going to kick her ass.  She can’t just ‘go Fiona’ on whoever she wants to and expect people to stick around.  I’m gon-“

“I dropped out!”

You stopped on your heel and turned around, “what the hell are you talking about, Lip?  You dropped out?  WHY?”

“I-I can’t do it,” he said, shaking his head.  You watched as the tears came in and starting rolling down his cheeks, “I can’t be the golden goose, Sofia…I-“

You rushed up to him and wrapped your arms around him as he collapsed into you.  Your heart broke as he sobbed against your chest, “Lip, it’s okay.  It-“

“She wants me to stay in school…get some good job and make it big…but I know it’s just because she wants me to take care of her one day…I can’t handle that kind of pressure Fi Fi.  I can’t be everything she wants me to be…not when Karen is gonna have a baby, and I-“

It’s okay, Lip!” you repeated, cutting your little brother off as you stroked his hair, “hey, take a deep breath…just let it out.  I’m here for you.  You aren’t going to be out in the cold because you need some time to think.”

“I don’t need to think!” he said as he shook his head, backing away from you enough so that he could look into your eyes, “Sofia…I don’t want to focus on school.  Not when I’m going to be a dad.  I-I need to start watching out for me and Kar.  I need to-“

“You need to come inside, get a hot shower, let me make up the guest room and dinner for you, and you need to think.” You said firmly as you held his face in your hands, “you’re clearly overstimulated and you need a second to catch up and process everything.  Fiona’s never kicked any of you guys out, but she’s done this to me before.  Not because of school, but just because she was having an off day, and we went at it.  In her mind you challenged her…”

“So that means that she can punish me by kicking me out?” he growled, “Fi Fi, that’s not fair.”

“No one said it was fair, baby,” you sighed sadly.  He sniffled and you looked across the way.  The lights were still on in the house, but no one had come outside.  You looked back to your door, “let’s get you up and inside, okay?”

“You’re not gonna make me go back to school like Fiona wants, are you?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to, Lip,” you said softly as you stroked his cheek, “you’re going to be seventeen…and you’re certainly smart enough to think for yourself.  But we are going to talk about your decision.”

“Sofi-“

“I’m not saying we have to do it tonight, or even next week,” you said softly as you cut him off, “tonight you just need to unwind.  You need to process and think about what you want to do…and then you need to look at your options…”

“What about Tony?” he asked, “won’t he be pissed that I’m staying with you guys?  Or-“

“Tony’s used to our craziness, Lip,” you laughed, “he’s used to my bipolar ass…just like he’s used to Frank being drunk in a ditch.  And Carl trying to mutilate something.  And Fiona going a step too far.  He’s used to the Gallagher effect.”

“The Gallagher effect,” he chuckled, “you make it sound like some scientific theory.”

“It is…if you’re a Gallagher, then you’re always dynamic.  There is no static point in our life.  We’re prone to fucking shit up and creating chaos.”

He chuckled, sniffling away the last of his tears, “and-and you won’t make me go back?  To the house, or Fiona?  Especially if I don’t want to go back to school?”

“I trust you!” you said simply, “I’m in your corner, Lip…now come on…it’s getting pretty chilly out…and you look like you haven’t had dinner.  Tony’s gonna be home soon, and Anthony is already asleep.”

“Thanks, Sofia.”

“Of course, Lip.”

“So, she just kicked him out?”

You nodded once more as your husband sighed.  The two of you were standing at the entrance of the guest room, looking in on an exhausted, but resting Lip. 

“Said he had to go to school or get out of the house…” you sighed before looking back to your husband, “I told him that he could stay here as long as he needed until he figured out what he really wants to do.”

“You’re not worried about Fiona coming after you, demanding that you return him, or convince him to go back to school?”

“Tony, Lip is smarter than all of us combined…” you sighed, “if this is what he wants to do, I’m going to support it.  Because out of all of us, he’s always been the one that can make up the most amazing plan.  It was his idea to start the squirrel fund when we were younger.  I know that he’ll figure out what he wants to do and do it well.”

“I don’t know about that,” Tony chuckled, “you and him were the only ones in your families to get perfect scores on your SATs.  You used to tutor your siblings.  Even him…don’t go giving him all the credit…I mean, he’s still a kid, Sofia…how do you know that he is going to make the choice this time around?  He could just be freaking out about Karen being pregnant.”  

“My point is,” you said slowly as you looked back into the room, “is that I trust him…I trust Lip with whatever decision that he wants to make…because I know that he’ll make the right one for himself.  He’s just worried.”

“Well yeah…he’s about to be a teen dad.”

“Which is why I’m here for him in any capacity that he needs it, Tony,” you admitted, “right now, he’s overwhelmed.  Fiona wants him to focus on school and get out of the yards.  He wants to be the dad that Frank never was to this kid that he’s just really getting used to the idea of.  I mean, shit, he knows that I don’t like Karen Jackson, but if she dumped that kid on him  tomorrow and he said he needed help, or that he needed to move in with us, I’d let him.  I’d help him any way that I could.”

“You’re a good sister, Sofia.”

“You’re not mad at that thought?” you asked softly, looking up at your husband, “you’re not mad at the idea that I’d let one of my siblings move in should they ever need it?  Or that I wouldn’t force them to go back to school?”

“You trust lip, and I trust you!” he said firmly, making your heart ache at the sweetness of your own words, “I trust whatever you would want to do, Sofia.  If your siblings wanted to move in and you knew that Fiona couldn’t care for them anymore, I’d let them.  If you told me tomorrow that you needed to give all the money you saved up to them in order to keep them afloat, I’d let you.  Those kids have seen you as the one that got to do the things that Fiona didn’t.  You graduated.  You got married.  You have a child.  But they never really saw you doing that and taking care of them.  Fiona would get them up for school, but you would make breakfast.  You would tutor them and get them extra little snacks or trinkets.  You would make sure that the birthday parties were planned, and you had a cake or something fun to do.  You were there just as much as she was, playing Superwoman, Sofia.”

“I just feel guilty sometimes,” you admitted, “I feel like sometimes I let Fiona take the lead, despite me being the older sibling.  I just let her take on all the responsibilities…I should have done it.”

“You were only older because they pulled you out of Monica first,” he reminded you softly, “and when she left you guys, you were in a psych ward from an attempted suicide because she took your pills away.  You needed that routine.  You needed the structure to keep you from collapsing in on yourself…and baby, I’m so proud of everything you did to keep yourself afloat while you helped your family.”

“Sometimes I feel like I abandoned them though.”

Lip flipped over and looked at you, tears in his eyes all over again.  You gasped, eyes wide.  Tears filled your eyes as he sat up, “You didn’t abandon us, Fi Fi….”

“Lip…”

“None of us ever thought you did,” he said quickly, closing the distance between the two of you.  You felt your husband let go of your waist as your brother swept you into his arms, and the two of you began to cry, “None of us ever thought you did that…”

“I’m like Monica, Lip…”

“You’re not!” he said urgently as he stroked your hair, “you’re nothing like her, Fi Fi.  You’re caring…and loving…and supportive…and you’ve done so much to make sure we didn’t end up in foster care…what’s happened isn’t your fault.  You’ve always tried to protect us, even when you couldn’t protect yourself.”

You sobbed into his chest, hearing the words from his mouth. 

All those years, when you were barely hanging on, when the meds were getting readjusted, you always felt like there was some part of you that was failing, because you weren’t doing as much as Fiona was to help out the house. You weren’t doing what you thought you should be doing for the family.

You weren’t the designated leader.

But hearing the words from his mouth was the vindication that you didn’t realize you needed.  Hearing him say those things gave you a strength that you didn’t realize you had. 

“Thank you!” you whimpered, your voice cracking as Lip held on to you.

Chapter 15

[abundanceofnots]

Fic idea if you’re still take my them! Sandy, Tami, and Mickey drunk at the house one night swapping stories about their dumb Gallaghers. Do they get Mickey a little too drunk and he shares some TMI bedroom things?

Inspired by @milkovichy‘s post, my very own ramblings and this prompt from, like, December (sorry! I’m the worst), I give you this. Set some time after 11×03.

Mickey could hear them all evening, howling with laughter every so often, a low hum of soft rock music trailing behind their voices. Usually, he wouldn’t give a damn. The Gallagher house existed in a constant uproar, and a moment of quiet always felt more tense than calming. 

Tonight was a special night though. The Gallaghers all went fuck-does-Mickey-care-where for some Frank-related business, and he had the house to himself—well, except for his annoyingly loud cousin and Lip’s baby mama, who apparently decided to have a fucking ladies night in his kitchen.

In all honesty, he found their little unlikely friendship somewhat sweet, but that didn’t matter when their girly cackles kept disrupting his attempt to have a nice long wank over the video that he and Ian filmed on their wedding night. 

His hand was in his boxers, tugging gently at his still mostly soft cock as he watched wedding-night Ian kiss down his naked back, pausing just before the curve of Mickey’s ass to send a cheeky grin down the camera lens when the next barrage of laugher came. Mickey groaned, dropping the phone on his chest. He rubbed at his face and felt his dick lose all remaining interest.

Pulling his sweats on, he figured he could use the time before Ian came back by getting something to eat.

“Well, well, if it ain’t the macho slut himself!” Sandy greeted him from the kitchen table, earning herself and her giggly companion an uninterested middle finger when Mickey passed them on his way to the fridge. “Was almost worried about you last night. You’ve been going at it for a good couple of hours.”

“Oh, please,” Mickey said as he browsed the contents of the fridge. “Last night was nothing.”

“My mistake. RIP to your asshole, by the way.” Sandy muttered, meeting Tami’s eyes for a second. “Hey, you wanna join us? We got some pink stuff that one of Carl’s old girlfriends left behind.”

“Just because I like getting fucked up the ass by a dude doesn’t mean I’mma drink some faggy shit.“

“We also got beer.” Tami motioned to the opened six-pack laying on the table before tapping the half-empty bottle standing closest to her reach. “And some whiskey.”

“And some weed brownies,” Sandy added, her smile suggesting she already knew Mickey wouldn’t be able to say no.

“Sold.“ Mickey dropped down on a free chair and immediately reached for one of the brownies, unwrapping it messily from its foil. “But if you start talking about your menstrual cycles or some shit, I’m leaving.”

“Don’t worry. Your fragile soul is gonna pull through this fully unscathed by female agenda,” Sandy shot back, moving one of the beer bottles in front of Mickey. “We were actually just talking shit about the Gallaghers.”

Mickey hated to admit that was a topic he could gladly get behind.

“I could tell you about the first time me and Lip fucked,” Tami suggested as she took a swig of her beer.

Mickey grimaced at her. “Why the fuck would I wanna hear about that?”

“Cuz for a long time after that, I called him Jabby.”

Sandy snorted into her drink.

“Wasn’t that creative,” Tami continued, trying to downplay how proud she clearly was of that nickname. “It’s quite literally what he did—jab, jab, jab. No form, no style. Just jabbing.”

Mickey clanked their bottles together. “I like your style.”

“Did you come?” Sandy asked.

“Fuck no.” Tami scoffed. “But I did puke on his shoes.”

“Judging by Mickey’s face, I don’t think Lip will be able to live any of that down now.” 

“Damn fucking right.”

“Ah, it was a long time ago. He’ll survive.” Tami waved off their fake concern. “I’m kinda mad at him anyway—and surprised I haven’t caught him jerking it to our new kitchen backsplash yet.”

Mickey took a beat before asking: “Fuck’s a backsplash?” 

“The father of my child’s current object of sexual desire.”

Sandy turned to Mickey. “You two ever had any problems in bed?”

“Jesus, no,” he replied, stuffing his mouth with small bits of his brownie. “If Ian were a bad lay, we’d be over before this whole thing even started.”

“Even if it meant he’d never use his ‘giant fucking hands’ to hold you down and pound into you until you ‘moaned all sexy’?” Sandy asked bluntly, struggling to keep her poker face intact.

Tami’s eyes widened. “What the fuck,” she breathed.

“Their door is basically non-existent,” Sandy explained. “We can hear every word they say.”

“Whatever. It’s true. Dude’s hands are fucking massive.” Mickey said, shrugging. “So’s his dick.”

Sandy nodded appreciatively and clanked their bottles.

“Okay, but you got together when he was what, like, fifteen, right?” Tami said. “Lip showed me a picture of them from around that time once. I’m sorry, but Ian was a tiny kid back then. He looked like a frail twig with a mop of ginger hair on top.”

“Yeah,” Sandy chimed in, exchanging a meaningful look with her cousin. “Who could’ve known back then that he was gonna turn into such a goddamn hunk.”

Mickey arched his brow, smirking. “What can I say. Guess I hit a fucking jackpot with that one.”

[you-show-me-love]

Breaking Down the Character

For @y0itsbri ❤❤

Frank "Rat King" Gallagher

How I feel about this character: Fuck Frank! I get that the show primarily centers around him but he's the worst! He's narcissistic and selfish and reckless, a user and an abuser. I don't think I ever felt sympathy for him in all 11 seasons.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: much like his daughter I don't think anyone should suffer the wrath of Hurricane Frank. He only likes someone as long as they're fun or provide him money or drugs or a place to stay. If I had to choose... I do like the references to the past relationship he and Kate the bartender had because their banter is pretty funny.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I'm always conflicted in sayinv this but I like Frank with the younger kids. It's conflicting because you know he's using them in some scheme or another but you also know these kids love the attention and quality time. We see how jaded Fiona, Lip, and Ian are but Carl, Debbie, and Liam are young enough in the series to still crave a father figure.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I wanted to see his life carry more severe consequences. At some point in the series they made his antics more ridiculous and his punishments less severe. It got to a level where I could no longer attempt to empathize with him and could only be frustrated with how he got in and out of situations. I imagine its how any of the Gallagher children feel as Frank flits in and out of their lives tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: I wish Frank had died a lot earlier in the series or even developed his dimentia earlier than season 11. His health should have had a greater emphasis in the show and given some tension and anticipation to the characters demise.

Monica "People Like Us" Gallagher

How I feel about this character: where Frank garners no empathy from me Monica gets all my empathy/sympathy. This woman is mentally ill and can't take care of herself but no one else does it either. Frank only loves her in her mania, other lovers only use her or manipulate her, its implied her family abandoned her and then of course her kids can't be/shouldn't be responsible for her. She's a compelling character in how she's an adult who has been married and has had children and has explored her sexuality and found happiness when and where she could but also in how she's inherently childlike in her innocence, in her trust, in her self worth.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: here's the thing: remember when Ian said he gives a piece of his heart to everyone he's been with? Yeah thats Monica in a nutshell. Monica hops from relationship to relationship putting full trust and love into each one. She belongs to everyone because she allows herself to be and yet no one because they haven't earned it.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Monica may not be the best mom but her relationship with Ian is my favorite in that way that breaks your heart. I think she has good intentions and she tries to connect with him, to let him know he's not alone, but she just doesn't have the capability to offer this support in the way Ian needs it, in the way she should have received it. Its tragic watching her try and fail and see the way these attempts impacted Ian even after she passed.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I wish we had seen her more frequently over the course of the series, seen her put more effort into being there for her kids. The times she did come back into their lives and provide what she could and when she could created a fantastic dynamic for each child.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: when Monica voluntarily admitted herself to the psychiatric ward I really really wish Debbie and Frank didn't get her out. In that moment she showed some mental clarity and a desire to improve herself for herself and her family.

[apolloloki97]

"Solid as Stone" Ian Gallagher x Mickey Milkovich

Summary: What if when Monica came back, Ian went to find Mandy that day, but found Mickey. Instead of going right to the store for a hookup, Ian runs away distraught after not finding his best friend. Mickey can't help but follow and comfort the redhead he has clearly fallen for.

Or when Ian is freaking out, Mickey is there to comfort him.

Word Count: 2679

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: “Stone" by Jaymes Young

Note: This is just a bit of an AU what if kind of thing. I just liked it and I love comforting and soft Mickey and I know that day he could tell that Ian was torn.

-----------

Monica was back and Ian didn’t know how to deal with any of it.

As soon as she rolled back into town, Ian felt as if he was suffocating and he had to get out. He didn’t even care if Terry was home at that moment, he needed to see Mandy.

His thoughts kept flicking to Mickey but he knew that regardless of the kind of situation they were in, Mickey would throttle him before he even considered offering Ian a comforting hand. Mickey had been very clear about the nature of their relationship if you could even call it that. Ian knew that there was more to them just random hookups, but he didn’t have time to unpack any of it at the moment.

Mandy had to be the one and he needed her now.

Ian arrived at the front of the Milkovich house and barrelled up the steps, his breathing still labored. His fist made contact with the wooden door, frantically begging someone to open up. It took a moment before the front door was wrenched open and it wasn’t the Milkovich sibling Ian had wanted to see right then, but one he was always wishing to see no matter what. Mickey, who had a cigarette in his mouth, seemed surprised at Ian’s frantic look. “Gallagher?” he asked.

“Mandy, is she here?” Ian breathed out, trying to see behind Mickey and into the house.

“What?”

“Is Mandy here?” Ian asked again, his breathing still sporadic. “I need to see her.” Mickey frowned as he took in the state of Ian as the younger boy seemed to be running off pure anxiety. Something was definitely wrong with him and it surprised Mickey as he realized he was incredibly concerned about Ian Gallagher. However, after all the time he had spent around the kid, he had come to pick up on all of Ian’s idiosyncrasies.

“She’s not here,” Mickey told him, glancing over his shoulder where Terry was passed out on the couch. “She went away with Iggy for a couple of days.” Ian let out a breath, still very jumpy, as he looked back and forth, trying to figure out what he was going to do. “Gallagher, the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he rushed out as he glanced behind him, almost as if he expected Monica to be running after him, but the street remained silent. “I… I gotta go,” he stammered before nodding to himself, turning around, and half-stumbling down the steps. Mickey watched after him for a few seconds, still very confused at Ian’s behaviors. Ian shuffled out into the street and then Mickey nearly jumped out of his skin as a car screeched to a halt right in front of the redhead. Honking blared through the neighborhood as the man behind the wheel cursed at Ian who was raising his hands in apologies.

As soon as Ian was out of the street, the car sped off, leaving Ian to stare at it for only a second before he moved to run down an alley in between the houses, still somewhat out of it. Mickey glanced back inside his house for a second before swearing, “Fucking Gallagher.” Grabbing his coat, he shut the door behind him and took off after the redhead.

It didn’t take long for Mickey to pick up on Ian’s trail as the kid had the loudest footsteps on the Southside. Mickey kept telling himself that the only reason he was doing this was that he wanted to know if Ian was on something and if he could get a hit. However, behind the denial, he knew the truth. He did care about Gallagher and he could tell Ian was going through something.

It was only another block that Mickey finally found him. Ian was on the ground, his back against the wall of the empty alleyway and he was breathing harder than he was when he had shown up on Mickey’s porch. Slowly, Mickey approached him, keeping an eye on the redhead’s hands. He knew Ian well enough to know that the kid could punch just as well as anyone on the Southside and he wasn’t looking forward to being on the other side of one of those freckled fists if he startled him.

“Gallagher?” Mickey tried, but Ian remained frozen, his eyes only on the cold asphalt. “Gallagher,” he tried again, but still, Ian remained oblivious to his presence. With a sigh, Mickey ran a hand through his hair before finally stepping right into the other boy’s view. “Ian?” he asked, softer this time. Ian’s breath stuttered for a second before his eyes flicked to the worried blue ones above him.

“What do you want?” Ian asked and while the words sent a dagger to Mickey’s heart, it was a valid question. Why had he followed him? Ian had no reason to trust that Mickey Milkovich cared for him. Mickey hated that he had led him to believe that he was only using him for sex, but he understood. Mickey was never one for affection, but it wasn’t as if he had any role models to learn from. Colin had tried to somewhat raise his younger siblings, but there was only so much he could do. Mickey was on his own in this department, but he was hoping Ian could be the beginning of his effort to show the compassion he clearly felt.

“What happened?” Mickey asked, finally crouching down to get on Ian’s level. The boy in front of him looked frailer than Mickey had ever seen him. The Gallaghers were known to be tough sons of bitches, but everyone had their breaking point, Mickey supposed.

“My mom,” Ian said. “My mom came home and just fucked it all up.” Mickey nodded, understanding immediately. If you knew about the Gallaghers and especially if you knew about Frank, you knew about Monica. Terry hated the woman and Mickey finally could see why. If the way Ian was acting was evidence of how her kids felt when she came back, she definitely should have stayed gone.

“Hurricane Monica,” Mickey simply said. Ian looked at him in surprise. Mickey sank to the ground next to Ian, their shoulders almost touching. “Fiona’s mentioned her a few times at the Alibi, Frank, too. I think we all get the picture enough to know she ain’t exactly mother of the fucking year.”

“That’s an understatement,” Ian said and Mickey was glad to hear that his breathing was sounding a little better. Ian let his head fall back to rest on the bricks behind him. “She always does this, Mickey,” Ian began and Mickey remained quiet, just letting Ian talk. “She comes into town and makes it seem like she’s going to stay. Debbie and Carl don’t deserve that shit.”

“Neither do you,” Mickey said automatically. Ian’s eyes flickered to Mickey’s who was just staring in front of him, his hands playing with the cigarette he still held.

“She’s my mom,” Ian tried to rationalize.

“So?” Mickey said, finally looking at him again. “Frank is your dad and he’s a piece of shit. Terry is my dad and he’s...he’s… fuck he’s the fucking worse.” Ian could hear the hesitancy in Mickey’s voice. Everyone knew how horrible Terry was, but Ian was starting to think there was more to the racist asshole than nobody else knew. “My father hates me,” Mickey finally continued. “He hates me and he doesn’t even know that…”

“That you hook up with guys?” Ian offered, not wanting to push Mickey by slapping the “gay” label on him. He had learned his lesson with that before.

“He’d kill me if he knew,” Mickey said. “And if I had the chance to get the hell out of dodge to be away from him, I would. I don’t care if they’re our parents, they don’t owe us shit if they’ve never been parents, you know?” Ian was quiet for a minute before he nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

“I don’t know what to do, Mick,” Ian said, casually dropping the nickname he had been trying out for a while. If it was any other time, Mickey would have made a comment about it, but he just enjoyed the rush that went through him at Ian saying his name.

“What do you want to do?” Mickey asked. “Cause that’s all up to you, man.”

“I want her to get the fuck out,” Ian said. “If she’s leaving again, it’s gonna be on our terms this time, not hers.” Ian struggled to keep his hands still and his emotions in check. The last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of Mickey. This was why he needed Mandy.

However, Mickey Milkovich surprised him as he always did.

Tattooed fingers suddenly covered freckled ones and Ian’s hand was enveloped in a warm and firm grip. Ian looked up at Mickey who was looking at him with actual concern.

“Don’t let her ruin you,” Mickey said firmly.

“She’s already done that,” Ian said, trying not to focus too much on the hand in his.

“Says who, huh?” Mickey countered. “Who says you’re fucking ruined? You’re not. You’re…” Mickey trailed off for a second. His eyes flickered from Ian’s lips and then back to his face. “You’re damn solid, Gallagher. A fucking tower of stone, so don’t think that some woman can just come back and fuck with you just because she’s your blood. Blood don’t mean shit when it comes to family anyways.”

Ian was looking at him with wonder in his eyes. He had never seen this side of Mickey and he was already mourning the fact that he may never again for a while once they left that alley. In case he was right, Ian clutched onto Mickey’s hand tighter, letting him feel the other boy’s pulse beneath his fingers.

“Thanks,” he breathed, almost afraid to speak any louder in case it shattered whatever peace they had built.

“Still wish Mandy was here instead?” Mickey asked and there was no malice behind it.

“Absolutely not,” Ian admitted as he glanced down at Mickey’s mouth. They were silent for a moment before Ian asked about something Mickey had just said. “Would you really leave to get away from Terry?”

“I wouldn’t go far,” Mickey admitted, looking at him through hooded eyes. “I could never go too far from you, could I? Who’d run after you when you’re going out of your fucking mind?” Ian smiled, trying not to laugh.

“I don’t know, I’m sure I could find someone,” he said and then boldly continued, “maybe Kash has a friend around his age.”

That did it.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Mickey growled as he grabbed onto Ian’s neck and slammed his lips against the other boy's mouth. Ian reacted immediately, tugging Mickey closer to him. Mickey’s heart was slamming in his chest and he knew it was risky to kiss Ian out in the open, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He had been wanting to kiss him since the first time he had seen Ian smile. It wasn’t until they had sex for the first time that that need to kiss him had intensified tenfold. Mickey grabbed at Ian’s coat, trying to make the distance between them nonexistent.

When Ian slipped his tongue into Mickey’s mouth, Mickey was done for. He could never go back to just having sex after this. This was...indescribable and he needed it all. Mickey was as inexperienced as it got when it came to kissing men, but Ian seemed to be a master according to Milkovich. Ian ran his hands up Mickey’s arms and then up to his neck where his large hands took hold of Mickey’s face as he continued to devour the other boy’s mouth.

Eventually, they both needed to breathe and Mickey was the first to pull back, though he didn’t go far. “That was…” Ian began, his breathing heavy but this time for a completely different reason.

“Long overdue,” Mickey finished, his breath matching pace with Ian’s. “I didn’t mean to do that like this. You know in a shithole,” he said, gesturing to the disgusting alley.

“Our whole neighborhood is a shithole,” Ian pointed out causing Mickey to smile slightly. Ian couldn’t help himself as he pressed another kiss to Mickey’s lips before leaning back again. “Don’t think I’m not going to take advantage of being allowed to do that now.”

“Who says this ain’t a one-time thing, firecrotch?” Mickey asked, raising one of his very expressive eyebrows.

“Me,” Ian said simply and Mickey rolled his eyes, but didn’t move away from Ian. His expression then turned concerned once again.

“Feeling better?” Mickey asked and Ian nodded.

“Getting there,” Ian admitted, referring back to his Monica meltdown. “You helped quite a bit,” he said cheekily and Mickey just snorted. “Thanks, Mick,” Ian said and Mickey could hear all the sincerity behind his words. Mickey nodded and then sat back beside Ian, their shoulders pressed together as if they were afraid to not be touching each other.

“Don’t think you can’t come to me when you’re in trouble, Gallagher,” Mickey said. “I ain’t gonna fucking turn you away. Not you.” Ian nodded again and then leaned his head on Mickey’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to go home,” Ian admitted. Mickey leaned into Ian and nodded.

“Me either,” said Mickey as he thought about his father back on their worn-out couch.

“Monica has to go,” Ian whispered.

“I could make that happen, you know?” Mickey said casually. “I still have that uncle down at the foundry.” Ian jabbed him in the ribs, but Mickey knew he was smiling.

“No thanks,” Ian said with a sigh. “Murder wouldn’t look good on you.”

“Please,” Mickey scoffed, “everything looks good on me.”

“And off, too,” Ian added and that got Mickey’s attention. Ian was looking up at him and when Mickey met his eyes, he could see just a hint of mischief in his green eyes.

“Are you coming onto me, Gallagher,” Mickey said.

“Always,” Ian said as his hands pushed into Mickey’s dark hair.

“I ain’t havin’ you get on me in some back alley,” Mickey said. “I have standards, asshole.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have keys to the store,” Ian said with a lower voice. Mickey chewed on that thought for a second before jumping to his feet and dragging Ian with him.

“You are a fucking menace,” Mickey whispered to Ian who just beamed at him, and then Ian’s smile turned softer.

“So, I’m solid huh?” Ian asked, looking at Mickey who wasn’t running away for once.

“As stone,” Mickey agreed. “You’re gonna be just fine, Red. Monica issues or not, you,” he said, poking Ian in the chest, “are gonna be fine.” Ian could have cried then, but he settled on grabbing Mickey by his coat and kissing him hard. Mickey kissed him back, still trying to get used to the feel, but he figured he’d get the hang of it soon.

Ian pulled back first this time and smiled at Mickey, grateful that he had been the Milkovich sibling to answer the damn door. “Thanks,” he whispered.

“You already said that,” Mickey reminded him.

“And I’ll keep saying it, dumbass,” Ian teased and then began walking backward, gesturing to Mickey to follow him.

Mickey just smiled and jogged to catch up with Ian. As the two of them headed to the store, Mickey forced himself to watch where he was going because all he could focus on was that Ian was back to being Ian and he, Mickey, had helped bring that smile back. Cautiously, he took Ian’s hand for just a fraction of a second before letting go. It was brief, but Ian knew what it meant. Sure, he was solid, unmoving, but to Mickey, Ian was his rock, the one that kept him grounded when everything else was trying to pull him away and if he’d let him, Mickey also wanted to be that for Ian.

[dreamylyfe-x]

Reactions: 11x03 Frances Francis Franny Frank

While I feel like I’ve said a million words about this episode already I still have a lot more to say, so... 

* To start: I think there’s a lot about this episode to recommend it. I think it plants seeds I fully expect to see grow over the rest of the season. I think it might have the first real hint of the ending. And I think it did things with two characters I often do not enjoy that made me enjoy them. So full credit on that front. 

* Father Lip and his extremely tricked out baby room is delightful to me. I have come full circle on Lip. I was pretty exhausted by him in the later seasons, but this season I’m just like... You’re doing ok, Lip. Keep figuring it out. 

* And look. I live in a country with universal health care so a huge portion of this episode is like watching a horror movie to me -- but a horror movie that takes place on Mars, where you’re just like “This is TERRIBLE. You guys should get off of Mars.” Give up everything to save your baby because that’s the only choice afforded you. I really want someone to tell me that isn’t actually a thing that can happen to people. I fear no one will. 

* Gallavich: Enter fucking. In an entirely new way! I don’t think I paid this enough mind my first trip through the episode because I was too focused on things like “Did he just call him a dirty convict?” -- but there is so much going on here in terms of what we’ve ever seen of their sex life. Overt dirty talk, choking, Mickey on his back... And while it goes off the rails FAST, I do like the energy of Mickey’s move to switch positions because it reminds me of their play-wrestling in season five, a dynamic I think is very real and very indicative of a loving relationship between two teenaged boys. Ex-teens now, but it still works. 

* Ok, but... Like Ian looks honestly freaked out and that is... um... interesting. I reblogged @gallavictorious ‘s post earlier on this scene which I recommend. In general Ian’s reluctance makes sense to me, but I still get a level of unease that surprises me. They may never comment further (I don’t expect them to), but. It’s notable to me. 

* I still like the intimacy here. The rolling around together on their tiny bed and everything. I dunno. Even with all the conflict, they still seem in sync with each other. 

* watching from my app with captions is helpful. Debbie isn’t that crazy. She asks someone to take Franny to school and then Ian and Mickey say yes to taking Carl to work which is reasonable for her to assume means they’re taking Franny. But... Liam quickly points out that this has happened to him before. 

* For the second week in a row there is something happen on this show I am more interested in than the Gallavich story. And it’s Frank. WTF. 

* Kevin REALLY needs to watch Better Call Saul. 

* Oh my GOD does it feel like classic early-season Shameless, having Mickey and Kev in a scene together. I approve. I am in for more of this on every level. Actually, at The Alibi in general, Mickey feels so deeply familiar. But also, does Kev REMEMBER he’s had his keg robbed before? They taped him to a chair, for God’s sake. 

* It is flat out magical realism to tell us Mickey doesn’t work out.

* So on second viewing I think the emasculation of Ian at the hands of the retail giant is more clear. I still find a lot of the misogynist language tough to listen to in that context. Honestly, there’s something about the whole concept of emasculating that bugs me because of what it suggests about gender. Doesn’t mean that it’s not a very loaded thing for Ian to be experiencing, though. 

* I really don’t have much to say about Carl the Cop. I think they are taking the position that the cops are the worst, but this is also one of those things I don’t find entertaining. 

* You know who I DO find entertaining? Sandy. And she’s a pretty great girlfriend. 

* I cannot even tell you how low my tolerance for Frank generally is. This is may be the only episode where I’ve enjoyed him. 

* I like the fact that Debbie keeps entering rooms yelling “FRANK GALLLLLLAGHER” a la Mickey in season one with Ian. 

* Ok, so... Yeah. I just don’t like how mean Mickey and Ian are to each other in this episode. I don’t like the rubbing the salt in the would when Ian quits his job. I don’t like the fighting. @fiona-fififi wrote a comprehensive post about their physical fighting and it’s well written and I do not disagree... but I hate it when they hurt each other like this. I’m just not here for it. 

* V is the voice of the show here. Like, this is what they want to hammer home. And her speech is a good one. But I’m still just not enjoying how dark this one got. I DO get why Ian is not rushing to forgiveness because man did Mickey go in on him at a vulnerable moment. 

* Ok -- I said this before but I’ll repeat it. There is something in the scene with Frank and Franny makes me feel like we’re getting foreshadowed hard. They really hold on his confusion and he seems unnerved. Disorientation is normal for Frank. But he seems to be signalling in the moment that what he’s experiencing isn’t normal. Hmm. 

* Seriously. The American health care system is a nightmare. It should be the title of a Ryan Murphy series. 

* I honestly think Presley Schrader is doing a great job in this episode. Ditto Christian, who doesn’t have a lot to do, but nails Liam’s long-suffering resignation. 

* Second viewing, I found Debbie more sympathetic, but I feel like we don’t get nearly the sense of her “running everything” the way we did with Fiona, so her frustration with her siblings seems extreme. Also, Sandy clearly disapproves and I think they intend for us to see Sandy as a voice of reason. 

* I have a lot more understanding of Lip yelling at Debbie than I ever had of him yelling at Fiona, which is maybe indicative of not feeling like her load is as heavy. 

* Milton continues the proud tradition of random Gallagher acquaintances who are fundamentally decent and helpful. He goes into the Parthenon along with Ryan and Barb. Because YES, Lip is pouring a lot of time and money into a house he doesn’t own, and apparently he didn’t make ANY arrangement about that. Milton doesn’t have to do what he does. But apparently he’s just a good guy. 

* This is very random but I’ve read so much from people complaining about mask use on TV right now -- how people take them off when they should most be on -- and I enjoy the fact that Shameless is at least nodding to why someone isn’t wearing a mask.... But Tami had the absolutely best and most convincing reason.  * So we close on Gallavich as we found them (RIP anyone who is home at that particular moment) -- fucking and fighting about the Jonas brothers. I really like what @pathoftheranger had to say about that scene so I think that’s going to be the bulk of my comment. Just... well. They seem to have moved through some stuff. I guess we’ll see where they’re at come January. 

[alexisrosemullens]

you are the one (designed for me)

Summary: Everyone has a timer that countdowns until you meet your soulmate. When you meet them, it turns into an infinity sign. The Gallaghers have bad luck with their soulmates, especially Ian whose soulmate left when he needed him the most.

Chapter One: time is moving slow

Chapter Two:  My mind runs away to you   

The next few weeks, Ian isn’t sure what they are doing. Ian continues going to the Alibi and hanging out with Mickey during his shift but instead of going home, he goes home with Mickey. In the morning, he sneaks out and heads back to his place before Fiona or the kids notice he’s gone. 

They become closer and Ian really thinks something could happen between them. He hasn’t had a connection like this in so long, everything just feels right. But he’s afraid. Mickey doesn’t like talking about his soulmate and is closed off when Ian tries to bring it up. He’s worried that he’s jumping into this too fast.

One morning while Ian is getting ready to leave and head back home, Mickey tries to pull him back.

“I have to leave,” Ian hums, leaning into him. “Fiona will be up soon and notice I’m gone.”

“Come on, man, just a little longer.”

Ian grins, kissing him. He slowly pulls away and climbs back out of bed. He hears Mickey make a small noise almost like a hum and a sigh. Ian grins, buttoning up his shirt. “Do you have to work this weekend?”

“Nah, V let me off so I can spend all of it with Yevgeny,” Mickey says. 

“That’s good.”

Ian sits back down on the bed and grabs his shoes to pull them on. He feels Mickey’s eyes on him as he ties his shoes.

Mickey clears his throat. “You uh want to come over and hang out with me and the kid?”

Ian stops and turns around, looking at him. “Wait, really?”

Mickey nods. “Yeah, you were really good with him.”

Ian grins and nods. “Yeah, okay. I just have to figure out what to tell Fiona. I think she has to work most of the weekend.”

“Are you still pretending to go to that dumb single’s group?”

“Nah, Fiona knows I quit. Lip doesn’t know yet but I think he figured it out.”

Mickey rolls his eyes. “Doubtful.”

“Hey! He’s my brother.”

“Still a dick.”

Ian shrugs in agreement. Mickey’s not wrong. He looks down at his watch and jumps up. He kisses Mickey on the cheek. “I really have to go. Text you later!”

Ian easily sneaks into the Gallagher house. No one is awake yet so Ian starts breakfast. He hears movement upstairs when he's almost done so he starts another pot of coffee. 

“Morning,” Fiona greets, stumbling into the kitchen.

“Morning,” Ian hands her a mug full of the new brewed pot.

Fiona mumbles a thank you and takes a large sip. “Hmm, that hits the spot.”

Ian chuckles, taking a small sip of his mug.

“You’re up early again,” Fiona says, looking around the kitchen. “And you made breakfast.” She stops and looks at him, narrowing his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“What are you talking about? I’ve been waking up early. Thought you guys would like some breakfast”

Fiona shakes her head. “Who is he?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about."

Fiona snorts. “Cut the bullshit, Ian. I’m your sister. I know you. I partially raised you. You’re seeing someone and I want to know who. Is it someone from single’s group? Is that why you stopped going?”

Ian shakes his head. He starts plating breakfast, trying to ignore Fiona’s stare and prying. 

“Did you go back to support group and find someone there? Ooh, is it Mickey?”

Ian turns around to face her in shock, his eyes wide. “How? H-how did you?”

Fiona squeals. “It is Mickey! I was just taking a chance with that one!”

More movement starts upstairs. Ian looks up at the ceiling then back at Fiona. He lowers his voice in case one of the kids could hear them. “How did you figure it out?”

Fiona rolls her eyes. “Carl mentioned he came by a few weeks ago, after you helped him out with Yevgeny.” She grins, bouncing slightly on her toes. “I didn’t know Mickey was gay. But I thought he was married to that Russian whore?”

Ian shrugs. “We haven’t talked about that. This is new, Fiona, so stop freaking out. I don’t know what we are yet.”

“Ooh,” Fiona grins.

“Stop,” Ian glares at her and turns back to fixing breakfast.

Fiona giggles. “I’m just messing with you, monkey.”

Ian turns back around to glare at her use of his nickname. “Really? Monkey? Come on, Fi.”

Fiona just continues laughing, ignoring Ian’s glare. She starts getting lunches ready while Ian finishes plating breakfast and setting it on the table.

“So, um,” Ian says after a few minutes of silence. “Mickey invited me over this weekend to hang out with him and Yevgeny.”

Fiona stops what she’s doing and looks at him, her arms crossing. “That sounds serious.”

“I know and so I was wondering what your schedule was this weekend?” Ian asks, his eyes hopeful as he gives his sister a smile. “Do you need me or can you handle it?”

Fiona grins, slapping his arm. “Go! Have fun! Don’t worry about me.”

“But, Fi,”

“Ian, go. Go try and live your life without your soulmate. I’m okay, really,” Fiona promises.

“Are you though?” Ian asks, moving to sit down on the barstool. “You went to support group and went out with that one guy. I never saw you go out anymore. You’ve barely gone out in seven years, Fi. I thought we were going to move on.”

Fiona sighs, leaning against the counter. “Look, you weren’t with your soulmate long. I mean, yeah, three years is a lot but that was when you were getting sick and I know you don’t remember much. I was with Jimmy/Steve for eight years. He helped me raise you kiddos. We lived together for almost five years, here in this house. Him leaving almost broke me. It’s going to take me a lot longer than a few dates to get over him.”

Ian reaches over and grabs his sister’s hands, rubbing her palms. “I know, Fi, but throwing yourself into work and this house isn’t going to help. We said we would try to be happy for Liam. Remember?”

Fiona nods, her eyes shining. 

“Ow! Carl!”

Debbie’s loud scream ruins the moment and Fiona pulls her hands away, wiping the tears from her eyes. She gives Ian a look but Ian shakes his head. Fiona grins wickedly and holds her hand out for a game of rock, paper, scissors. Two games later, Ian is upstairs, breaking up a fight between Debbie and Carl.

After Ian’s shift, he heads over to Mickey’s. His hands are sweating and he doesn’t know whether to go in or knock on the door. He decides to knock, figuring that is the safest option. Mickey opens the door and grins.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Ian grins back, nodding at the towel thrown over Mickey’s shoulder.

“Kid wanted some Russian dish Svetlana makes. I have no idea what I’m doing. I ordered pizza as a backup,” Mickey says. He looks over his shoulder then kisses Ian quickly on the cheek before letting him in.

Yevgeny is sitting on the living room surrounded by Legos with the TV on. He looks up when Ian walks in and gives him a funny look.

“Yev, you remember Ian, right?” Mickey asks. “He watched you while I was working and helped you when you were sick.”

Yevgeny’s face lights up. “Yeah! Do you want to play Legos with me? I’m building a castle.”

Ian shrugs off his coat, placing it on the hook by the door. “As long as there are dragons.”

“Duh,” Yevgeny answers in a serious matter. He pats the floor with the least amount of Legos and Ian takes a seat next to him.

The rest of the night goes great. Yevgeny talks Ian’s ears off and forces him to watch a kid show after dinner. Ian doesn’t mind and sits through the weird show quietly. Yevgeny falls asleep during the next episode of the show and Mickey carries him to bed. When he gets back, Ian is putting on his jacket and hat.

“Where are you going?” Mickey asks.

“Home. You have Yevgeny tonight. Didn’t think you would want me to stay the night,” Ian says, zipping his jacket up.

“That’s stupid. He’s four. He doesn’t really understand what’s going on.”

“What about your ex?”

Mickey rolls his eyes. “Really? You’re bringing up my ex?”

Ian shuffles his feet, looking down.

“Take your jacket off, man. Stay awhile.”

“Your family’s fucking ridiculous,” Mickey laughs, handing Ian the cigarette they’re sharing. Mickey decided not to chance Yevgeny hearing anything so they ended up watching a movie and talking in Mickey’s bed. “How can you put up with two teenagers and an eight year old under one roof.”

Ian chuckles, leaning his head against the wall. “The bad thing is, that wasn’t the most Debbie thing she’s ever done.”

“She’s done something worse than faking a pregnancy to get a guy to date her?”

“Yep, she stole a baby once.”

Mickey stops laughing and turns to Ian, his eyes wide. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Nope. She was 10 and bored so she lured a toddler out of a birthday party with a candy bar,” Ian told him, handing the cigarette back over to Mickey. “Lip came up with this grand plan and we were able to return the kid, making it look like Debbie found him. Debs got enough money from it that she bought a water heater for the house.” 

“Jesus Christ.” 

Ian laughs at Mickey’s reaction, bumping his shoulder against his. “Hey, Mandy told me stories about you and your brothers so I know you have crazier ones.”

Mickey groans. “I do not want to talk about those days or my idiot brothers.”

“Come on, Mick,” Ian whines. “I told you several stories from my childhood. You haven’t told me anything.” 

“That’s bullshit. You refuse to talk about your teenage and recent years.” 

Ian glares at him. “So do you.”

They both stare at each other for a long time before Ian averts his eyes. His mind is racing and wants to ask Mickey what they are but he’s afraid that he’s going to scare Mickey off. Fuck it, he thinks. It’s time to bite the bullet. 

“Okay, how about we talk about what we are instead? Cause I for one want to know if we’re dating,” Ian finally says.

“Wow, you don’t hold anything back, do you?”

“Come on, Mick.” 

Mickey takes a long drag of his cigarette before answering. “Fuck, I don’t know. I’ve only been with one other guy before my father ruined my life. Then after he died, Yevgeny was here and I didn’t have time to sleep much less go out.” 

Ian reaches over and grabs his hand, squeezing it. “Okay, so let’s go out and figure this out.”

“Yeah?” Mickey looks over, trying to hide the smile that forming on his face. 

“Yeah.”

They figure out pretty quickly they both enjoy going out. By the third date, Ian asks the question again and Mickey agrees that they are dating. They don’t tell anyone at first. It’s Fiona that figures out they’re dating first. Ian waits for her to say something but she just smiles and pats him on the cheek. Debbie figures it out next and she doesn’t stop squealing and hugging them. Ian has to physically pull her off Mickey. Carl and Liam just kind of accept it when Mickey starts coming around more and more, neither one of them caring too much. Lip surprises Ian the most when he finds out. He just crosses his arms and nods at Mickey, not saying anything about it. 

Mickey slowly becomes a constant presence in the Gallagher house. The only time he isn’t over is when he has Yevgeny for the weekend but even then he sometimes shows up. A few months into their relationship, Fiona decides she wants to have a big family dinner and invites Mickey and Ella. When Ian tells Mickey, he laughs and refuses but after some convincing from Ian, he reluctantly agrees.

The night of the dinner, Ian picks Mickey up. He grumbles the whole way to the Gallagher house. Ian just laughs at him and squeezes his hand when they make their way up to the house.

“Hey, hey!” Ian says when they walk in the door. 

Liam looks up from the TV and smiles. “Hey, Ian! Hey, Mickey! Fiona said dinner will be ready soon.”

Ian leans on the couch, looking at the TV. “What are you even watching?”

Liam shrugs. “I was just flipping through. It’s about a dead guy.”

Ian hums. “Fiona in the kitchen?”

Liam nods, focusing back on the TV. Ian ruffles his hair then motions Mickey to follow him in the kitchen. Fiona turns around when she hears them, her face lighting up with a smile. 

“Hey, Mickey! You made it!” she grins, tossing her towel over her shoulder then walking over to them, pulling Mickey in for a hug.

Mickey tenses and slowly pats her back until she lets go. Ian chuckles, bumping his shoulder against Mickey’s.

“Need any help, Fi?” Ian asks. 

“Nope, everything’s ready. We’re just waiting for Lip and Ella to get here,” Fiona answers. “But thanks, sweetface.”

Ian groans at the nickname. Mickey smirks at him, mouthing the nickname with raised eyebrows. “Really, Fi? Can’t you drop the nicknames?”

Fiona furrows her eyebrows then her eyes widen when she realizes her slip. “Shit, I’m sorry sweet-, I mean, fuck. I can’t help it.”

Ian just rolls his eyes. “I know.” He walks out the kitchen with Mickey following. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope,” Mickey smirks, making sure to pop the p. “Sweetface.”

Lip and Ella arrive shortly after and the house gets loud. Fiona has Lip and Ian move the dining room table to the living room and finds two extra seats for Ella and Mickey. As soon as the food is on the table, the Gallaghers dig in, leaving Ella and Mickey in the dust. Ella doesn’t seem to mind and just takes whatever is passed to her. Mickey on the other hand just watches until Ian notices. Ian grabs the mashed potato bowl out of Carl’s hand with a loud “Hey!” in protest and hands it to Mickey. 

“If you don’t fight, you won’t get anything,” Ian whispers. 

Once food is on their plates, everyone starts talking over each other, trying to catch each other up. Ian places his hand on Mickey’s thigh and squeezes it in reassurance. 

“So, Mickey, how’s Yevgeny? Did I say that right?” Fiona finally turns to him after Lip’s finishes his boring story about college.

Mickey nods. “Yeah, that’s right. You can call him Yev. Everyone does.”

“That’s so much easier to say,” Fiona says. “He’s four, right?”

“Yeah,” Mickey answers, scratching his eyebrow. “He turns five in May. Starts kindergarten in the fall.”

“It’s so much easier when they start school. You don’t have to find someone to watch them for eight hours a day and by the time they get home, they are tired and ready for bed,” Fiona says in a dream like state as she imagines the first day of school. “I was there when all these kiddos started kindergarten. Remember just like it was yesterday.” 

Debbie and Carl groan as Lip rolls his eyes. 

“Great, here she goes,” Debbie cringes. “Now she’s going to cry. I recommend you run now, Mickey.”

“Well, I’m sorry for getting emotional!” Fiona says. “Liam was the easiest and the hardest. Ran straight to the teacher and didn’t look back. I cried all the way to work then got sent home because I cried when a customer ordered a burger.” She grins at Liam. “Debbie cried everyday for a week until she finally found a friend. That was a nightmare.”

“Fiona,” Debbie whines. “Do you have tell Ella and Mickey all of our stories? Just tell them what Lip and Ian did.” 

Fiona sucks in air between her teeth and closes one eye as she tries to remember. “Let’s see. I was about 11 when Lip went to kindergarten. No, 10. I was 11 when Ian started school. Monica was still pregnant with Debs and I think she was actually at home for once. I remember because I had to drop Ian off at daycare then Lip, so I woke up extra early. Both of them were so cranky.” She winks at Lip and Ian and both of them groan. “After I dropped Ian off, I walked Lip to the elementary school. The teacher was so confused when I showed up until another teacher whispered in her ear. So she motioned Lip in. Lip just walked in but a week later refused to go back. I had to bribe him with pancakes until he caved. I found out later it’s because he was bored and his teacher recommended he skip a grade but I never got the letter.”

“I could have been done with college by now,” Lip teases her with a glare. Fiona flips him off causing Lip to laugh and throw his hands up. “Okay, okay, I blame Frank.” 

Fiona grins. “With Ian, Debbie was maybe six months old?  Monica was pregnant with Carl and would come and go.” She turns to Lip and furrows her eyebrows. 

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Lip agrees. 

“So the morning Ian started school, Debbie kept me up all night screaming. I remember Frank was passed out on the couch and didn’t move the whole night. I was exhausted and didn’t want to drop him off. I asked Lip if he could watch Ian and make sure he got into his classroom safely.” She stops her story and nods at Ian. “But you cried when I said that. You wrapped your little arms around me and refused to let go until I said I would go. So I strapped Debbie in a stroller and we took off. As soon as the teacher smiled at you, you ran into the classroom.”

Ian groans, burying his head in hands. “Jesus, Fiona.”

“Carl just shrugged and walked in. Then he got sent home a few hours later for stealing a kid’s lunch,” Fiona finishes her story. She just had to include them all.

“Nice,” Carl says, throwing his hand up for either Debbie or Liam to high five him. Debbie slaps the back of his head instead. 

“Debbie!” Fiona, Lip, and Ian all scold at the same time. Debbie just rolls her eyes. 

“Let’s hope Yev has an easy transition like Liam,” Fiona turns back to Mickey. 

“Uh, yeah. I hope so,” Mickey answers, shifting in his seat.

Ian gives Fiona a pleading look. She gets his sign and turns to Ella, asking about school.

After dinner, the boys move the table back and everyone starts cleaning up. Fiona refuses to let Ella and Mickey help and sends them into the living room. Mickey just sends Ian a “help me” look but Ian quickly kisses his cheek and pushes him into the living room.

A few minutes later, Ian appears with a piece of pie. He sits in between Ella and Mickey and pops a bite into his mouth. Mickey eyes the pie. 

“Yes, Ian, I would love some pie. Thanks for the offer,” Mickey says sarcastically, trying to reach of Ian’s pie.

Ian moves it out of his reach, hitting Ella. “Oops, Sorry, El.”

“Not the worst thing that’s happened to me in this house,” Ella responds, rubbing her head. “Carl gave me lice, remember?”

“Right.”

“You seriously aren’t going to offer pie?” Mickey asks, watching Ian take another bite. 

“Fiona likes to cut it and bring it,” Ella tells him, nodding at the doorway.

And she’s right, Fiona is standing in the doorway with two plates. “Ian, I told you that we were eating dessert in the kitchen. Debbie wants to tell us something.”

“Sorry, Fi,” Ian answers, his mouth full of pie.

Fiona rolls her eyes and motions for Ella and Mickey. Mickey stands up and gladly takes a plate of pie out of her hand. He stands awkwardly in the kitchen next to Ella and watches Fiona, Lip, and Ian move seamlessly around each other and everyone else in the kitchen.

“This is weird,” he mumbles. 

Ella shrugs. “You get use it. The three are a unit.” 

“I think I might have met my soulmate,” Debbie announces to the room. She’s standing in the middle of kitchen, her eyes falling to her older siblings.

Fiona, Lip, and Ian stop what they’re doing and turn to look at her. Mickey puts his bite of pie down and turns to Ella, both their eyes wide.

“What?” Fiona asks. “You met your soulmate?”

Debbie shrugs. “I mean, I’m not sure because I haven’t taken off the cover but I can feel it, you know?” 

“I didn’t think you felt anything when you met your soulmate,” Carl mumbles, his mouth full of pie. “Of course most people don’t cover up their countdowns.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Fiona, Lip, and Ian tell Carl at the same time. Carl rolls his eyes at them.

Ella raises her eyebrows at Mickey as if to say “I told you so.” 

Debbie glares at Carl and turns back to her older siblings. “Do you feel anything? When you meet them?”

Fiona leans against the sink, running her hands through her hair. She looks at the tattoo on her wrist and sighs. “Like a spark or anything? No. More like butterflies in your stomach. I was so nervous over Jimmy/Steve.”

“Really?” Debbie perks up at the mention of butterflies. “You never told me that.”

Fiona shrugs. “You were young when I met him. You probably don’t remember. I didn’t want him over here for the longest. I was ashamed back then.”

“But you did bring him over and he lived here for a while,” Debbie says. “He was fun.”

“Yeah, he gave me an X-Box,” Carl adds.

Fiona nods. “He was but he was also dangerous and not good for me. For us.”

“Did you feel something when he left?” Debbie asks.

“Debs,” Lip interrupts. He’s leaning against the counter by the fridge, a towel in his hands, watching his sister with worried eyes. He crosses his arms and turns to give Debbie a look. 

“No, Lip,” Fiona stops him. “They’re old enough now. They’ve seen it all. They should know. God knows I wish I knew. And Ian knew.” She takes a deep breath and continues. “I felt a deep ache when he left. The pain was almost too much to bare but I did. I got up every day because of you and Carl and Liam. And Lip and Ian.” She nods at them. “I loved Jimmy/Steve but my love for you guys overcame the pain. And it took me a long time to realize I didn’t need him. I just needed my family.”

“Wow,” Debbie whispers. “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t want you to,” Fiona mumbles, looking down. “I’m always going to protect you.”

Debbie turns to Lip and Ian. “What about you two? Did you feel anything?”

“I uh-don’t really remember a lot. Those weren’t really good years for me, Debs,” Ian says, looking down at his feet. He shifts his weight from one foot to the next. He can feel Mickey get closer to him.

“Oh, Ian, I didn’t.”

“No, Debs, I know,” Ian looks back up and smiles at her. “The past is in the past. I’m good now.” He looks over at Mickey and smiles at him. Mickey smiles back, nodding at him.

“I was scared,” Lip speaks up, steering the conversation to him. Ian gives him a grateful smile. “I didn’t know how it was going to work with Ella. I watched Monica leave Frank at such a young age and I saw what it did to him. I watched Jimmy/Steve leave Fiona and how it almost destroyed her. I had just watched Ian lose his soulmate and I was scared. I didn’t think I could handle it happen to myself but then Ella talked and all my fears just vanished.” He walks over to Ella and she grins, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Aww,” Debbie grins. “Now that’s like the stories Fiona use to tell us when we were little.”

“Debs, I’m the rare one in the family that is still with their soulmate,” Lip continues. “Gallaghers don’t have good luck so you need to be careful.”

“You know, you could take off your covering and see if they are your soulmate,” Carl speaks up.

“Yeah but then that just the whole universe thing and my destiny. I want to take control of my destiny,” Debbie says. “I don’t need some dumb tattoo telling me that someone is my soulmate. What about what my heart says?”

Carl raises his eyebrows. “I think you've been reading too many feminist articles and books.”

Ian snorts, covering it up by burrowing his head in Mickey’s shoulder. Mickey tries to hide his smile. Debbie turns to Mickey, raising her eyebrows.

“What about you, Mickey? You found your soulmate, right? Did you feel anything?”

Ian feels Mickey stiffen and he lifts his head, looking at him. Mickey pulls away from Ian, biting his thumb nervously. “Uh, no. I didn’t feel anything.”

“What happened to your soulmate?” Debbie asks, leaning against the counter and placing her chin in her hands.

Mickey’s eyes widen. He glances at Ian before heading out the back door. Ian sighs, debating whether he should follow him. He gives Debbie a stern look as he walks to the back door.

“Don’t push him, Debs. If he wants to talk about it, he will,” he says before going outside.

He finds Mickey sitting on the steps, smoking a cigarette. Ian sits by him, grabbing the cigarette from him and takes a hit. Mickey glares at him and takes the cigarette back.

“Your sister is fucking nosy,” he mumbles, taking another hit.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. Debbie doesn’t think before she speaks,” Ian says. 

Mickey shrugs. “Your fucking family, man. They’re intense.” 

“Yeah, they can be,” Ian agrees, throwing his arm around Mickey and rubbing his shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about your soulmate until you’re ready. Okay?”

Mickey sighs. “There’s not much to talk about. I don’t even know the guy’s name. Took off before I found out.”

Ian hisses. “Fucker.”

Mickey bows his head, twisting the cigarette between his hands. “What about you? You don’t like to talk about yours and sounds like your whole fucking family knows everything about you two, including his name..”

“Trevor,” Ian says. “His name was Trevor and I was with him for three years before he left me. That’s all you need to know.” 

Mickey nods. “Okay.”

They sit in silence, sharing another cigarette. Mickey finally looks up.

“Are we good to put this soulmate shit behind us?”

“Yeah, Mick, I think that’s a great idea.”

Mickey grabs Ian’s hand and squeezes it. “Your fucking family, man,” he repeats. “Fiona is a badass though. Raising all you.”

Ian laughs then nods. “She’s the strongest person I know.” 

“They’re going to take some time to get used to. I guess I need to get used to them, huh?” Mickey asks, turning to look at Ian. 

Ian processes his words then his face breaks into a grin. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Mickey grins, leaning into Ian.

The guy Debbie meets end up not being her soulmate. The guy shows her his countdown about an hour into their first date. She’s disappointed but they end up going out for a few dates. When he dumps her, Fiona and Ian are there with pizza and ice cream. 

Ian starts spending more weekends at Mickey’s. Yevgeny loves Ian and is so happy whenever he comes over. He still has no idea that Ian and Mickey are together. He tells Svetlana one day that Ian is always over but neither Ian and Mickey know until one morning Ian walks in Mickey’s kitchen to find Svetlana holding a knife.

“Uh, hi?” Ian greets, confused.

“You Ian?” Svetlana asks, twirling the knife in between her fingers.

“Yes.”

“Mikhailo and Evgeni asleep?”

“Yeah?” Ian raises his eyebrows and move past her to grab a piece of bread. He pops it in the toaster and turns back to her. “I have an early shift and I thought you were picking Yev up later?”

“We need to talk,” Svetlana says, sitting down and sitting the knife in the table.

Ian takes the bread out of the toaster and puts it on a plate. He sits down across from her with his toast and a jar of peanut butter. “Sorry, I have to eat something.”

“I do not care,” she glares at him. “Milkhailo has been through a lot. I will not have you break his heart.”

“I wasn’t planning on it?”

Svetlana nods to his right wrist. “And your soulmate?”

Ian moves his hand to hide it under the table. “You don’t have to worry about him.”

Svetlana narrows her eyes. “My Evgeni is involved now. If he comes back and you leave, I kill you.”

Ian is speechless, staring at her. She gives him a small evil like grin and is gone as quickly as she left. Ian stays at the table confused until Mickey walks in.

“Morning. I thought you had an early shift,” Mickey says, kissing his cheek before starting on breakfast.

“Yeah. Um, your ex was just here?”

Mickey turns around, raising his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“Svetlana was here in the kitchen when I woke up and I think she threatened me?” 

Mickey scoffs and turns back around. “Yeah, that’s normal. She’s always doing that.”

“She stuck the knife in the table.”

“Fuck! Again? Damn it, Svet!” Mickey looks at the table, running his hand over it, looking for the mark.

“I’m so confused right now.”

Mickey rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry about her, man. She’s like that. She doesn’t mean anything.”

Ian gulps. “She sounded pretty serious, Mick.”

“I’ll deal with her. You better start getting ready or you’ll be late.”

Ian barely makes it into work on time. Sue raises her eyebrows at him when he rushes by to his locker but doesn’t say anything until he is changed and sitting on the bed of the ambulance. 

“Cutting it close, Gallagher,” Sue says, handing him a coffee.

“Yeah, sorry. Mickey’s ex appeared this morning and threatened me.”

Sue whistles. “Jesus.”

“Yeah, it was weird. Mick said not to worry about her but she sounded pretty serious.”

Sue slaps his shoulder. “Living without your soulmate is super dramatic.”

“Nah, being a Gallagher dating a Milkovich is,” Ian says, taking a sip of his coffee. His eyes widen at a thought. “Fuck! Mandy! We haven’t told Mandy.”

“Jesus, Gallagher, take you dramatics elsewhere.” Sue pushes him off the bed of the ambulance, rolling her eyes.

When Ian gets off, he calls Mandy and she screams in his ear for five minutes. She tells him that she is coming home as soon as she can. She arrives at Mickey’s apartment one week later. Yevgeny squeals when he sees her and jumps into her arms. 

The first night, Ian and Mandy stay up most of the night. Mandy tells Ian all about her adventures around the United States and trying to find her soulmate. She shows Ian her countdown and how little time she has left. Mandy left almost four years ago to try to find her soulmate faster. She has yet to find him any faster but has enjoyed exploring the country. 

Mandy stays for the rest of the summer. She watches Yevgeny on the weekends so Ian and Mickey can go out. She joins them for family dinners at the Gallaghers. Fiona welcomes her back with open arms and Debbie drags her away for boy advice. She connects with Ella almost immediately and the two tease Lip constantly. She catches up with Mickey and they talk for hours. When it’s time for her to live, Yevgeny sobs, Ian hugs her tight, and even Mickey hugs her. She cries and promises to come back as soon as she has found her soulmate.

Summer turns into fall. Ian spends more time at Mickey’s than his house. The only time he goes to the Gallaghers is when he has a night shift. When Mickey is at the Gallaghers, he forms this weird bond with Fiona. The two seem to get each other. Ian has caught Mickey texting with her on several occasions. 

Yevgeny starts school and Mickey hates that the kid walks straight into the classroom and doesn’t look back. Svetlana refuses to let Ian join them on his first day so Mickey shows him all the pictures on his phone later. Svetlana still hates Ian no matter what he does. Mickey tries to have a dinner in hopes they will get along but Svetlana ends up slamming a knife into the table and Mickey yells at her for ruining the table. Ian and Svetlana come to a mutual hatred after that.

Ian has been managing his bipolar disorder for almost six years. Mickey has yet to see Ian in a depressive or manic state since they started dating almost eight months ago. Ian knows it won’t last and only time will tell but he’s enjoying it will he can.

The depressive episode creeps on him as it turns colder. He can feel himself getting more tired and cranky. When Fiona asks him about it, he snaps then storms out of the house. At Mickey’s, he tries to hide it. He can sense that Mickey doubts him but he doesn’t say anything about it. He has heard Ian snap at Fiona and Lip too many times to even try to ask.

One afternoon during his shift, Sue sends him home. When he protests angrily, she calls Fiona. Fiona huffs when she picks him up. She tries to convince him to go to the clinic but he refuses. He storms up the stairs as soon as they get home and refuses to come down for dinner. 

The next morning, he doesn’t get up. He doesn’t feel anything except anger. Anger at himself. He should have seen this coming. He should know the signs now after six years.

“Ian?” He hears Debbie’s voice but he can’t speak. He feels his bed sink and a hand on his shoulder. “Fiona said to check on you. Do you need anything?”

He can’t respond. He hates that he’s doing this to his family. That he can’t force himself up. He hears Debbie sigh and feels his shoulder being squeezed.

“I’ll call Sue.” The bed creaks and the extra weight is gone. He hears Debbie quietly close the door.

Ian doesn’t know how much time passes. Debbie, Carl, and Liam come and go. They talk to him, squeeze his shoulder then leave. When Fiona appears next, Ian figures it’s the end of the day.

“Hey, sweetface,” she whispers. “I called Lip. He’s on his way. Do you want me to call Mickey?”

Ian hates himself even more. He’s not just hurting his family anymore. He’s hurting his boyfriend. He wants to tell her yes but he can’t. Instead, he sinks deeper into his pillow. He feels the bed sink again and hair tickle his neck.

Fiona doesn’t say anything. She just lays there beside him. Time passes again and the door creaks open.

“Hey,” Ian hears Lip whisper.

Ian feels Fiona shift and the hair is gone. “Hey.”

“I got supper for the kids. Liam’s scared. He keeps asking what’s going on. Debbie isn’t helping with her statistics.”

Ian’s anger at himself grows. His little brother is scared of him. He needs to get up. He needs show Liam that he’s okay. 

“I shouldn’t have left him here with Debbie.”

“I can take him to my place tonight. Unless you need me here.”

“No, I think it’s better if Liam goes with you. You can talk to him and try to explain it.”

“What about tomorrow? Debbie and Carl have school.”

“I’m taking off. I’m the manager now so they can go fuck themselves if they say anything.”

Ian hears Lip chuckle. There’s silence for a long time and Ian figures Lip left but then Lip speaks back up. “Did you call Mickey?”

“No. I don’t know how he’s going to react to this. What if he runs off like Trevor?”

“Mandy stayed. It can’t hurt to call.”

“Okay. Do you want to call him or me?”

Ian hears Lip snort. “You two have this weird friendship. I think you should.”

The extra weight leaves the bed. “Stay in here until I get back?”

“Fiona, Debbie said he didn’t move all day. He’s not going to try anything.” There’s silence again and weight back on the bed. “Go call Mickey. I’ll be right here.”

The door slowly closes. Ian feels his legs being pushed and he wants to kick Lip but he can’t. He hears Lip sigh and feels weight on his legs.

“You’re a stubborn fuck, you know that,” he hears Lip say. “I don’t want to make you feel worse but I told you so. Fiona did too. You have to start listening to us. If not us, you need to talk to Mickey and he can tell you when something is up.”

Ian still doesn’t say anything. Lip is right. He usually is. He hears the door slowly up and the weight is off his legs. 

“Mickey’s on his way. He has to drop Yev off with Svetlana. He wanted to bring him but I didn’t think that was a good idea.” He hear Fiona say. 

“Probably for the best. Don’t want to scare the kid.” There’s a pause. “I’ll stay here until he gets here.”

“Can you go downstairs and stop Debbie and Carl? Liam’s freaking out again and those two are not helping.”

“Yeah, I’ll bring Mickey up when he gets here.”

The door closes again and the bed sinks again. He feels Fiona’s hand on his shoulder and she starts rubbing. “Hey, sweetface, you can get past this. You always do.” He feels something on his shoulder. “We love you.” The extra weight is gone and she continues rubbing his shoulder. 

Ian doesn’t know how much time passes when the door opens back up. The bed shifts and he feels Fiona get up.

“What’s going on?” Mickey. He’s here. He showed up. He didn’t leave him.

“He’s having a depressive episode,” he hears Fiona explain. “Did Ian tell you about it?”

“Yeah, he explained it and Mandy told me how he was when he was diagnosed. Does he need to go to the doctor?”

He hears Lip snort. “Good luck getting him to leave the bed.”

“Lip!” Ian hears a slap and a ‘Fuck’ from Lip. “It’s not that easy, Mickey. He can still have an episode when his meds are working but we don’t know until we can get him to his doctor. And even if he has to get new meds, it could take a while.”

“How long are we talking?”

“Few weeks. A month or two,” Ian hears Lip add.

He hears Mickey cuss and the bed sinks. “What can I do?”

“Talk to him. Help him stay hydrated and go to the bathroom.”

There is silence and Ian wishes he could speak and tell Mickey that he’s okay. He feels a cold hand on his face. 

“I’m going to head out, Fi. Call me if anything happens.”

“I’ll walk you out. I need to tell Liam goodbye.”

The door closes again and the hand starts stroking his face . “I’m here, Ian. I’m not going anywhere.”

Ian squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block the tears.

Weeks pass or at least Ian assumes it’s been weeks and Mickey stays with him as much as he can. He only leaves when he has to work or go get Yevgeny. Ian feels awful for making him do this but can’t bring himself to get up. One afternoon, Fiona is with sitting him while Mickey goes to get Yevgeny. Ian is facing her today and listening to her read a ridiculous romance novel out loud.

Fiona scoffs when she gets to the love scene and slams the book shut. “I don’t know why I still read these things. It’s the same story line with different character names.”

“Because you need to get laid,” he mumbles.

Fiona gasps, poking him with her foot. “I liked it when you didn’t talk.”

Ian gives her a small grin. 

Fiona frowns, looking sorry immediately. “I know you hate when I ask but how are you feeling, sweetface?”

Ian tucks the blanket closer. “Okay. When’s Mickey coming back?”

“He should be back now.”

They sit in silence and Ian must have fallen asleep again because the next thing he knows, the bed is sinking and there is a body on top of his.

“Yev! I told you not to do that.”

The weight is gone and Ian shifts, opening his eyes. Yevgeny is right in front of his face, his eyes wide.

“Daddy says you’re sick,” he says.

Ian groans and looks up at Mickey. Mickey pulls Yevgeny back. “Sorry, he wanted to see you. Fiona and I didn’t think it was a good idea but he cried.”

“It’s okay. Yeah, Yev, I’m sick.”

“Why don’t you take some medicine?” Yevgeny asks, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“It’s not that simple, Yev,” Ian sighs. “But I’m getting better.”

“Do you need a hug? Hugs always make me feel better.”

“A hug sounds great, Yevy.”

Yevgeny grins and climbs up into the bed, snuggling closer to Ian. Ian hears Mickey make a small noise in protest but Ian just smiles at him, letting him know it’s okay. He closes his eyes and quickly falls back to sleep. When he wakes back up, Yevgeny is gone and Mickey is in his place. Ian sighs in contentment and snuggles closer to Mickey, burying his face in Mickey’s neck. 

It takes Ian another week before he starts feeling better. He gets up one morning and Mickey and Fiona take him to his doctor. After a long talk and few adjustments, Ian feels a little better. It takes him another week to get back on his feet. Mickey is there with him the whole time. He finally goes back to work and slowly starts feeling like himself.

"I'm sorry."

Mickey puts his phone down and looks down at Ian. It's been almost a month since Ian has gotten over his depressive episode. Fiona continues to keep a close eye on him and because of it, Mickey starts staying with him at the Gallagher house more and more. He only goes to his place when he has Yevgeny. Even though Mickey hates Ian's mattress, he doesn't complain. They are currently squished in Ian's awful, too small mattress. "For what?"

"That was my first episode since we started seeing each other," Ian continues. "I'm sorry I did that to you. I'm sorry you had to see me like that. And I know it's a lot to handle so I get it if you don't want to do this anymore."

Mickey rubs his eyes, silent for a moment. Ian watches him, his eyes wide. Mickey sighs and picks his phone back up, turning it to show Ian what's on the screen. Ian grabs the phone, sitting up to read. "'Soulmates and Bipolar Disorder'? Mick, why are you reading this?"

"Most articles about helping someone with bipolar has to do with soulmates," Mickey grumbles. "Figured it couldn't hurt."

"No, I-" Ian stops and looks at him. "I don't understand."

Mickey rolls his eyes and sits up to look in the eye. He grabs his face and kisses him. "Ian, I'm here in your loud childhood house with your nosy older sister, annoying teenage siblings, and your younger brother. I'm laying on your stupid, lumpy mattress that barely fits your tall ass. Your episode hit during the worst possible time with my son starting school yet I still fucking showed up. I'm not going anywhere. And don't fucking apologize for who you are."

Ian grins, pushing him down on the mattress that he hates so much and kisses him slowly.

Christmas and the New Year comes and goes. Ian changes shifts and starts studying for his paramedic exam. Mickey picks up more shifts at the bar to help with Yevgeny getting into private school. After a long, heated discussion with Svetlana, they realized public wasn't working for the kid. Ian and Mickey barely get to see other lately and when they did, they enjoyed the time together.

One cold morning, Ian and Mickey are in the kitchen eating breakfast. The house is empty and they are enjoying not only the rare silence but the rare time they have together now with their busy schedules. Mickey is teasing Ian over his small breakfast when the front door opens.

“Where’s my loving family?” Frank’s voice carries into the kitchen.

Ian rolls his eyes, mumbling under his breath about money and stupid Frank.

“Kids?”

Ian pales when he hears the other voice. He stands up slowly, watching Frank and Monica come into view.

“Ian!” Monica squeals, running into the kitchen and pulling him into her arms.

Ian slowly wraps his arms around her and whispers. “Hi, Mom.”

Frank ignores them, and pushes past them to start looking in the kitchen cabinets and draws. “Can you spare some cash?”

“Fuck off, Frank,” Mickey pipes up. No one has seen him in weeks and they really thought he might have died this time. Unfortunately, they weren’t that lucky.

Monica pulls away from Ian and looks at Mickey. She glances down at Ian’s right wrist and her mouth widens. “Oh.”

“Just a five would work. But $150 would be better,” Frank continues, opening up the fridge.

Ian rolls his eyes. “We don’t have any money, Frank.”

“That’s bullshit,” Frank turns to him, getting in his face.

“Frank!” Monica cries.

“Hey!” Mickey yells, standing up and yanking Frank back. “Get the fuck away from him.”

Frank immediately reacts, trying to punch Mickey. Mickey ducks and grabs Frank by the arms, pulling them behind his back. Monica screams, trying to pull Mickey off. Mickey gives Ian a look and Ian gives him a short nod. Mickey drags Frank out, ignoring Frank’s constant screaming.

“What the hell? Frank!” Monica cries. She turns to Ian and starts hitting his chest, yelling at him. Ian grabs her hands, forcing her to stop.

“We don’t have any money, Mom. You and Frank can’t have our money,” Ian yells, forcing her to look in his eyes. “You aren’t using it on drugs.”

“Ian, no.”

“Why are you here, Mom? Why are you here?”

“Can’t a mother just come see here children?”

Ian raises his eyebrows. “Really, Mom? You’ve been gone for five years this time.”

Monica sighs, sitting down at the table. She pats the seat next to her and Ian hesitantly sits down. Monica grabs his right hand and turns it around, looking at the zero tattoo. “That man, he isn’t your soulmate.”

Ian shakes his hand, pulling his wrist back. “You’ve met my soulmate, Mom. You know that time you tried to kill yourself in front of the sink? He was here.”

“What happened?”

Ian sighs, running his hand through his hair. “You really don’t remember?” Monica shakes her head. “He left because of my bipolar disorder. He didn’t like how it affected our relationship so he left.”

“Oh, baby,” Monica grabs Ian’s hand and squeezes it. “He’ll come back though. He’s your soulmate.”

Ian pulls his hand away. “I don’t want him back. I have Mickey.”

Monica sighs. “I’ve had other men and women besides Frank but they aren’t the same. They don’t give you the same feeling as your soulmate.”

Ian stands up, pushing his chair out from under him, causing it to fall. He clenches his fists, his face twisting in anger. “Then why the fuck do you leave him? If Frank is your soulmate, why do you keep leaving?”

“Cause Frank drives me crazy!”

Ian scoffs. “That doesn’t mean anything, Mom. If you love Frank like you say, you wouldn’t leave. You wouldn’t leave us .”

“Ian,” Monica reaches out, grabbing his hands. “You need to listen to me. Mickey will not give you the same joy as your soulmate. He will never make you feel whole. That’s why I keep coming back. I always think I can find someone that won’t drive me crazy like Frank but none of them make me feel the same.”

“Jesus Christ, Frank’s like a fucking cockroach,” Mickey mumbles, coming back inside. He looks around the kitchen, raising his eyebrows at Ian when he sees the chair knocked over and Ian standing over his mother.

Ian pulls away from Monica. “I have to get work. You should probably leave before Fiona or the kids get back,” he tells Monica. He turns away before Monica can say anything else. He can hear Mickey follow him and he turns around when he gets to the front door. “I have to go. Can you make sure she leaves?”

“Uh, yeah,” Mickey answers, crossing his arms. “You coming over tonight?”

Ian shrugs. “I’ll let you know before I get off, okay.”

Mickey nods, watching him leave.

After work, Ian heads straight home, calling Mickey and telling him that he’s tired. Mickey accepts it and lets it go. He lays in bed that night and thinks about everything Monica says. He knows he shouldn’t but his brain doesn’t listen and continues to play Monica’s words over and over.

Ian starts picking up even more shifts after that. He tells himself he isn’t avoiding Mickey but he knows he is. Mickey hunts him down and corners him one afternoon in the station, demanding to know what’s going on.

“We need the money so I picked up some extra shifts. It’s nothing,” Ian assures him, quickly pecking him on the cheek.

“Fine,” Mickey huffs. “Come over tonight?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

When Mickey leaves, Sue lets out a low whistles. Ian glares at her but she doesn’t say anything.

Ian has every intention of talking to Mickey that night but as soon as Ian opens Mickey’s door, Mickey is on him. After two rounds of sex and two plates of pizza bagels each, they sit up in Mickey’s bed, sharing a cigarette.

“Fuck, man, maybe you should work more often. Makes the reunions pretty fucking awesome,” Mickey grins, handing him the cigarette.

Ian hums, not saying anything. His mind his racing, going back to Monica’s words.

“Kid’s been wondering where you’ve been. He misses you,” Mickey says, taking the cigarette back. “Won’t stop bugging me about you.”

Ian laughs at the image of Yevgeny bugging Mickey about him. The five year old was known for his constant questions, driving Mickey insane. “Driving you insane?”

“The kid won’t shut up. He kept following me around.”

Ian laughs, leaning against Mickey. Mickey places his hand on Ian’s thigh, squeezing it. They sit in silence for a while. Ian stretches after a while and sits up. Mickey groans at the loss of contact, sitting up and watching Ian get dressed.

“Why don’t you stay?” he asks. 

Ian shakes his head. “Can’t. I have a double tomorrow.”

“I have the kid this weekend.”

“Mick, you have Yev every weekend,” Ian turns to him, grinning.

“Are you going to come over? Or am I stuck with him following me around all weekend?”

Ian hesitates, pulling on his shirt. Monica’s words start running through his head but then he sees Mickey’s face and can’t help but tell him that he’ll be there. He kisses Mickey quickly and heads out the door.

That weekend, Ian heads to Mickey’s apartment. He is greeted by Yevgeny jumping into his arms.

“Ian!” the boy squeals, hugging him around the neck. “We’re making pancakes!”

“Breakfast for supper?” Ian asks, setting him down. “That sounds like an amazing idea.”

“Come on!” Yevgeny takes Ian’s hand and tries to drag him into the kitchen.

Ian chuckles at the boy and lets him lead him into the kitchen. Mickey’s standing in front of the stove with a kitchen towel over his shoulder, flipping pancakes. He turns around and grins when he sees Ian.

“Hey, hope you like breakfast for supper. Kid here was begging for pancakes,” Mickey says.

Ian smiles, looking over. “Looks good.”

“Ian! Look what I drew!” Yevgeny tugs on Ian’s hand, trying to lead him to the table.

Mickey gives him a quick kiss and watches him go over to the kitchen table.

Later that night, after eating, Mickey goes to put Yevgeny to bed and Ian stands at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes. Mickey comes in a few minutes later and leans against the counter, watching him. Ian turns, giving him a weird look.

“What?” he asks.

Mickey shrugs, crossing his arms. “Nothing. Just like watching you.”

Ian rolls his eyes but grins. “Weirdo.”

Mickey chuckles, pushing off the counter. He goes up to stand by Ian, pushing him to the side so he can take over rinsing the dishes. They wash the dishes in silence and then dry and put the dishes away. After Ian puts the last dish away, he leans against the counter and places the towel over his shoulder. Mickey washes down the countertops, feeling Ian watching him.

“Now who’s the weirdo,” Mickey mumbles. He finishes his chore, throwing the washcloth in the sink. He walks over and stands in front of Ian. “Thanks for coming over. Meant a lot to the kid.” 

Ian tilts his head, giving him a look. “Just Yev?” 

“Come on, man,” Mickey bows his head, hitting his shoe against Ian’s. “I- uh like this thing between us. I like you being here and I- uh like going over to your place. I really like you, Gallagher.” 

Ian bows his head. This is Mickey’s way of telling him how much he likes him, possibly love, and Ian’s terrified. Monica’s voice grows louder and louder in his head. He can’t breathe. “Yeah, well I hope so. This thing has been going on for what? Nine months?” 

Mickey chuckles. “A long fucking time, man. Almost a year. Should we celebrate or something?” 

Ian doesn’t look up. His mind is racing. Celebrate. He wants to celebrate their anniversary. Monica’s voice continues to get louder. He grips the countertop and looks at his shoes. He sees Mickey’s right hand move towards him. He notices the tattoo. He pushes past Mickey, trying to put some distance between them. “What about your soulmate?” 

“What’s going on? I thought we put this soulmate shit behind us,” Mickey asks, reaching to grab Ian’s hand but Ian flinches. Mickey sighs. “There’s nothing to talk about. He left. Just like yours.” 

“Don’t you want him to come back?” Ian asks. 

“Why are you bringing this up? We talked about it."

"No, we didn't," Ian says. "We pushed it away, buried it."

Mickey groans. "Seriously, Gallagher? What the fuck is this? You really want a fucking answer? No, I don't want him back. Why would I? Just so he can leave again?” Ian hears Mickey move towards him so he moves further away. “What’s this about?” Ian doesn’t say anything. “Ian? Look at me, man.” 

Ian slowly turns around to face him. Mickey’s eyes are wide and he looks panic. “I-uh need to think about us.” 

“Ian-” 

“I just need to think about this,” Ian grabs his jacket off the chair and puts it on. He gives Mickey one last look before grabbing his keys. Mickey is looking down at the kitchen floor when Ian closes the door. 

He doesn’t get out of bed the next day. Fiona tries to talk to him but he ignores her and rolls over. Lip comes by late afternoon and drags him out of bed. Ian tries to fight him but Lip overpowers him. He forces him into his fancy car and drives him to Patsy’s. Ian glares at him but follows him inside, letting Lip order for him. 

“Okay, what the fuck is going on with you?” Lip demands after the waitress takes their orders. “You just recovered from a depressive episode a few months ago so I know it’s not that.” 

Ian shrugs, looking down. 

Lip sighs at his lack of answer. “Fiona tells me that Mickey has stopped coming over. And you’ve only been over to his place twice in the last few weeks. Something’s going on with you and you need to tell me what.” 

The waitress comes back with their drink order. Ian thanks her and takes his tea. He absentmindedly stirs it, avoiding Lip. 

“Ian, come on,” Lip tries again. 

“Monica came back a few weeks ago,” Ian starts. 

“Yeah, I remember Debbie said something about it. She stayed maybe a week this time,” Lip says bitterly. 

“Mickey and I were home alone when she walked in. Frank was with her and was being Frank. Mickey got him out of the house,” Ian tells him, still stirring his tea. “Monica sat down with me and told me that Mickey wouldn’t give me the same feeling as Trevor. She told me that Trevor would be back. I know she’s wrong. She fucking left us so much that her words mean nothing but my mind just kept playing her words back.” 

Lip sighs, running his hand through his hair. He is silent for a long time, thinking. Ian knows he is trying to think of something to say that won’t make him mad. Lip finally sighs, gripping his mug. “Look, you know I’m not a fan of Mickey but he is a whole lot better than fucking Trevor. He cares for you and is there for you more in this last year than Trevor ever was those three years. Monica is a fucking idiot for saying that.” 

“I know. And I know I shouldn’t have listened to her but I did,” Ian bows his head, looking into his coffee. “I told Mickey I needed to think about our relationship.” 

Lip hisses. “Those words really fucking got to you.” 

“I just kept thinking about Mickey’s soulmate and if he comes back.”

“Fuck Monica, okay? Fuck those words. Fuck your soulmate and fuck Mickey’s soulmate.” Ian looks up at his brother, shocked at his words. Lip holds eye contact him. “You love Mickey. You are good for Mickey and he’s good for you.” 

“I do love him,” Ian nods. 

“Then go tell him that.” 

“But what if he leaves?” 

Lip sighs. “I know you don’t want to be hurt again and I can’t tell you that you never will again. And if it does happen, you move on and you beat it.” 

Ian stares at him, his mind racing. He stands up, almost knocking over his mug. “I have to go.” He runs out of the diner, almost hitting the waitress bringing their food but he keeps running. He doesn’t stop until he’s in front of Mickey’s door and almost beats it down when he knocks on it. 

“Holy fucking. Calm your fucking tits. I’m coming!” Mickey yells inside. Ian hears him stomping to the door and he can’t stand still. “What?” The door yanks open and Mickey stands there fuming. When he sees it’s Ian, his face falls but only slightly. He opens his mouth to speak but Ian doesn’t give him time. He grabs Mickey’s shirts and kisses him. Mickey reacts immediately, pulling him inside. Mickey kicks the door closes with his foot and they stumble into the apartment, falling onto the couch. The sex is quick and over before it even really started. Ian leads him into the bedroom and this time they take their time. 

“Holy fuck,” Mickey groans as they lay next to each after the second round. 

“Yeah,” Ian says. He rolls over, facing Mickey. He runs his hand through Mickey’s hair, reeling in the softness of it. “I’m sorry I ran out the other day. My mom said these things about soulmates and I couldn’t stop thinking about it even though it was bullshit. I mean, she has left Frank so fucking much yet she claims no one else makes her feel like Frank. But she’s wrong. Mick,” Ian stops talking and looks at him, his fingers twisting around Mickey’s hair. “Mick, I love you. I don’t need time to think about us.” 

Mickey looks down, not saying anything for a long time. Ian moves his hand and runs his finger across Mickey’s cheek, nervously, waiting for a response. Mickey looks up after what feels like a lifetime and pulls Ian in for a kiss that takes Ian’s breath away. He pulls away and stares into Ian’s eyes. “What you and I have- makes me feel free.” 

Ian’s face hurts he’s grinning so much. He goes to pull Mickey in for another kiss but Mickey stops him. 

“Are you sure about this?”

“I'm in. I'm all in.”

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Shameless 9x13 “Lost” Review

Next week, the ninth season of Shameless will come to a close, and Emmy Rossum who plays Fiona will make her final exit (as far as we know). The seasons to come must be carried on the backs of the remaining Gallaghers we’ve come to know and love. But what does the future look like for those whose lives will continue to play out offscreen?

In the second to last episode of the season and Fiona’s onscreen story, we begin to get a glimpse at what her life may become, and how she might get out of the Southside in a more positive way than her brother Ian, who may show up again next season as teased by Cameron Monaghan, who plays him.

After being given an ultimatum by Lip, Fiona seems to wake up having done a complete 180. After helping an injured Frank get to the hospital, she meets with a public defender who tells her if she gets a job and attends AA, a jury may believe she’s contributing to society and overlook her previous felony when deciding how to rule. This is, of course, in relation to her punching a woman while drunk a few episodes back. Fiona follows the woman’s instructions, attending a meeting and getting a job at a gas station doing the overnight shift.

Kevin and Veronica get into their own legal trouble when the daycare they’ve sent twin daughters Gemma and Amy to discovers that they aren’t the same person. The nuns give them two options: Either they can pay a hefty fee, or Kevin can play Jesus in an upcoming pageant. He’ll need to drag an extremely heavy cross the 150 feet from the school to the church, but Kev agrees, thinly avoiding being charged with fraud.

Meanwhile, Lip chases a closed-off Tammi around town after discovering she’s going to see a doctor without him. Lip wants to support her and his unborn child, especially after her father showed up at his house questioning his motives, but Tammi doesn’t want any help making decisions regarding her and the baby. Eventually, she confides in Lip that she got tested for the BRCA gene, which will determine if she’s at high risk for developing breast cancer and if so, whether or not having children will decrease her risk. This is essentially where the conversation ends, as Lip can’t get much more out of Tammi.

Across town, Frank undergoes surgery after stumbling out of Fiona’s old building just as demolition starts. The hospital staff attempts to figure out how they can get him out as quickly as possible, as Frank has a reputation for stealing pills and not paying any of his bills.

At work, Carl faces an armed robber and wins by using his pent up anger from Kelly dumping him and beating him with various objects on the counter. When he gets back to the house, the bad blood between him and Debbie continues as she hangs out with Kelly. The two girls bond while shopping for military gear, as Kelly is about to head back to school. Feeling closer than ever to her, Debbie attempts to kiss Kelly as they’re cuddling on the couch. Unfortunately, her feelings are not reciprocated and she’s left feeling sad and a bit naive when Kelly decides to leave.

Though Debbie is heartbroken, Carl manages to cheer her up, and the two bond over their hatred for the girl who hurt both of them. It’s a nice moment between siblings especially after the strain that’s been on their relationship lately. Carl also tells his sister that he didn’t get into Westpoint, to which she offers a simple but sincere “Sorry.”

And all the while, Liam is at his friend’s house playing video games, watching movies, and eating homemade biscuits. Though his siblings have been texting and calling him all day, Liam is bitter that it’s taken them two days to notice he’s gone (I don’t blame you, Liam). So, he doesn’t answer any of them and continues to live lavishly with his buddy — which definitely beats staying in the Gallagher house.

While Fiona is working her first shift, Max comes into the store. He tells Fiona that the building she invested $100,000 in actually is going to be turned into a nursing home at some point in the next year, and that he wants to buy out her share. Stunned, Fiona can’t do much except agree to figure out logistics in the morning. It looks like this might be her first and last shift at the gas station.

So, it looks like Fiona isn’t going to leave Shameless in a cop car or a body bag after all. Throughout her emotional decline, it’s seemed like the eldest Gallagher sibling might not be able to pull herself together. Her siblings weren’t helping her, her friends weren’t helping her, and she certainly wasn’t helping herself. Now, though, Fiona has a chance that the audience thought would be handed to Frank through the Hobo Loco games — a surplus of money. And with the family just not the same as it once was, I won’t be surprised if Fiona decides to abandon the home she’s spent most of her life building.

In this episode, Fiona and Lip did finally have a conversation about getting back up and trying again. This particular conversation is extremely satisfying, but again, seems long overdue. Having been through an alcohol addiction and the recovery process from that addiction, there’s no reason Lip couldn’t have encouraged his sister to get up and try again when she got fired from her job for being drunk all the time on the clock.

And, sidenote, how is it that Fiona was spending her entire last paycheck on alcohol just last episode, but now seems to be having no trouble refraining from drinking? Even just one shot of Fiona looking at a bottle longingly for a few seconds could’ve made her crawl out of alcohol dependency more believable. Even if she isn’t actually an alcoholic, it’s hard for me to follow that she’s suddenly fine, going to an AA meeting and getting a job all within one episode.

This brings me back to my issue with the show’s pacing this season. There were so many episodes of Fiona walking around town drunk, interacting with a few people, going home and going to bed. All of this filler could’ve been replaced with actual plot points, like Fiona getting arrested and fired, a lot earlier. Then, she would’ve had this motivation to get better and we would’ve watched her struggle to do so. Unfortunately, we now have one more episode for a grand total of two in which Fiona is attempting to recover and get her life back together, and it’s being fast-tracked by a large sum of money. Can somebody say “rushed”?

Ignoring the pacing, this season has all around been fairly uneventful, sans Fiona and Lip’s storylines. Lip says he might get to see Xan in a few days, and Tammi might be keeping the baby. There’s a lot of what ifs right now, and a lot that I’m hoping the finale will resolve or at least raise the stakes of. I’m having trouble caring about Xan when there’s also the pregnant Tammi storyline, though even that is hard to care about when she’s so standoffish and argumentative. I feel like she and Lip are just going in circles about what’s going on with the baby, and I for one don’t know how much longer I can stay on this ride — I’m getting dizzy.

This episode felt like a lot more filler, Frank being given a completely new storyline that can’t go much of anywhere with just one episode left in the season, and Debbie and Carl resolving a petty fight over a girl. And then there’s Kev and V, picking up a long-abandoned storyline after Kev’s vasectomy provided a couple episodes of laughs and not much else. Even Liam, who’s been absent for a while now, spent the episode playing video games with his friend.

The highlight of 9x13 was Fiona being offered her $100,000 back. Though it’s out of nowhere, I guess we just have to accept that this is how Fiona is going to better her life — unless of course she gives it to Frank to help pay off his medical bills, but I somehow doubt that’ll happen.

In the preview for the finale, we see Fiona visiting Ian in prison and also sitting down with Lip, asking him to take care of Liam, presumably, for her. I’m glad that we’ll finally get some loose ends tied up and even see a familiar face before the season ends. I’m just having trouble figuring out what questions we’re going to be left with going into Season 10, besides maybe Tammi’s decision regarding her pregnancy.

Going into the season finale, I’m hoping and praying for a huge plot twist. With the relatively slow and uneventful nature of this season, it only makes sense that the finale would be totally unexpected and jaw-dropping. As a lot of people probably are, I’m hoping deep down that Jimmy/Steve will make his return to whisk Fiona away and start a new life with her. I’ve always been on the fence about them as a couple, but I think Fiona has shown us that she needs her life to be exciting. I’d love to see Jimmy/Steve come back as a better person, but still with that dash of recklessness that Fiona needs. Regardless of if this happens or not, I just hope Fiona finds adventure somewhere. All will be revealed next week, I suppose.

Shameless airs Sundays on Showtime at 9/8c.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝.5

[koganphrancis]

Gay 4 JT 4Eva

Also: New Writer, Who Dis?

Before I begin my recap of this week’s episode, let me send a sincere plea to TPTB at Shameless: PLEASE HIRE AN ACTUAL LGBTQA WRITER!  It’s nearly the end of the second decade of the 21st century!  Do we really need a bunch of different characters stating one reason (and one reason alone) that makes them gay or straight?  No, no we don’t.  

So, a brand new (to Shameless) writer is thrown into the mix and he gives us what was pretty much universally crowned on social media the most boring episode of this shit show ever, and that’s saying something to all of us that watched Season 6.  

It’s so hard to know where to begin, since I want to save ALL the Ian foolishness for last.  

I guess we’ll start with Frank since he’s very cut and dried this week: Gets a credit card, gets a car, gets fired because the store he works for is closing.  The show tried to make a statement about online driving brick and mortars out of business-which was “news” at least 5 years ago, maybe more.  Frank also had a very (to me, anyway) un-Shameless talk with Liam about being poor.  This show used to wear that like a badge of honor, but now we have Frank hemming and hawing before admitting that they are, but instead of his old rants about fuck capitalism/fuck the establishment/people who work towards material goals are soulless-he buys a car online.  In a nutshell, this is what’s wrong with the entire show now-don’t argue “character development and growth” to me-none of us tuned into this show hoping Frank one day turns into a typical TV dad with a job and a lawn to mow on the weekends.  

Next I’ll tackle Debbie-in yet another brilliant piece of retconning, she’s suddenly 16 years old.  Now, I’ve said it before and you can Google it just like I did: You have to be 18 years old to attend any kind of accredited welding school in the state of Illinois.  Those classes deal with equipment that can kill and maim not only the person using it, but those around them as well.  You have to be a legal, liable adult for anyone to put that shit into your hands.  Did she steal Ian’s ID to enroll in the school?  

Anyway, 16 y/o Debs is on what’s turned out to be a 2 day bender and has had unprotected sex that she can’t remember-multiple times.  Um, I have zero experience with drugs, but from anything I’ve read, Ecstasy doesn’t erase your memory-was she really being fed rufies by that long haired guy?  Anyway, when he informs her they’ve been banging for two days she leaves Franny (who’s been sitting in a bathtub set up with pillows and a blanket presumably all this time?  She didn’t need to be fed or changed?) with the dude and takes off in search of a morning after pill, which she can’t purchase in Missouri because she’s...not 17 yet.  

It was established in the first episode that Lip is 23 now, which makes his Irish twin Ian 22-but Debs is 6 years younger than Ian?  So, for those 3 seasons Ian was 17, she was 11?  She raped Matty when she was 11/12???  She got pregnant at 13 and gave birth at 14?  And Child Services didn’t take her and the baby away from Fiona, but sent her to a parenting class instead?  Yeah, okay, right.  

Anyway, she gets thrown in jail but a parent or guardian doesn’t have to come bail her out, and her storyline for the night ends with a very offensive, not funny racist bit in a drug store.  I don’t care that this is “Shameless”-in real life that guy probably would’ve been shot in Missouri for standing up and shouting like that, and the real life media would have a field day about terrorists.  

Carl-who we now know is 15-is still driving Fiona’s mini SUV around?  Now that we know he’s not old enough to have a license, does that make sense?   His role in the night’s episode is minimal-he basically drives Lip around looking for Brad.  

Lip and Fiona were experiencing parallel storylines-both were deeply, DEEPLY concerned about other people’s lives this week, but not the people themselves.  They both had all these, “I can’t let this happen to ME!” moments of narcissistic bullshit that was really hard to take.  In Lip’s case, he’s running around trying to get Brad back on the path to sobriety because if a guy like that can’t do it, what hope is there for LIP?  Yes, Lip, make this all about you.  And it really sucks, because a very natural concern is right there, but they’re having Lip ignore it: instead of worrying how Brad not being able to stay sober reflects on Lip’s own chances, why not have Lip be concerned for Brad’s son, and pledging to do anything he (Lip) possibly can so that kid doesn’t grow up with a father like Lip had?  There’s a ridiculous line where Lip tells Youens he has to come help Lip find Brad because who better than a drunk to know where to find a drunk?  That line ignored two major points from the series-one is that Lip himself is a drunk, and two is that Lip has spent a lifetime with his family hunting down Frank when he disappears.  They were that desperate to drag Youens into this week’s plot?  

Fiona’s whiny “it’s all about me!” plot centered on her finding a dead woman in her apartment, being eaten by her dog.  The show shocked me by finally having an actual, accurate fact about that-the dog has to be put down, by law, because it ate human flesh.  They even have a man come from animal control and drag it away-but miraculously by the end of the episode, Fiona has the dog.  Dafuq?  And you know they’ll never explain it.  

Anyway, Fiona gets freaked out when she realizes no one cared about this woman, and that that could happen to HER.  So she decides to remedy it by getting Ian to make up with her.  She goes over to the EMT building and walks right in, just like everyone else.  Ian’s there taking inventory on the truck, because he’s always there, because this is the least busy emergency response service in any major city in the USA-did they change their phone number to 912 or something?  Anyway, she’s not there to apologize as much as she’s there to LET Ian apologize to her.  The whole “feud” thing they’ve got going on is stupid and contrived as hell, but her showing up at his place of work and setting him off is cunty no matter what-and not because of his mental health either, just in general.  They just bitch at each other and we’re supposed to think that Ian is sooooooo concerned about those at risk youth when, as has been pointed out many times, Mickey and Yevgeny both fit in that category and he’s written them off without a second thought.  Ian’s comments about Fiona only caring about money and not people are A: something he said in Season 7-and the people he was referring to then were her own flesh and blood siblings, and B: didn’t stop him from leaving Mickey and returning to her house and life, so he needs to nut up and lie in that particular bed he made.  And Fiona-I get that she didn’t have a choice when Frank and Monica left her holding the bag with all the kids when they were young, but then Fiona made the decision as an adult to take legal custody of them-she stood up in court even after the judge begged her to reconsider giving her life over to them, so every shitty putting herself first thing that she’s done since then IS something to hold against her.  Her going to Ian not because she loves him and wants peace between them but to hedge her bets against winding up alone and forgotten was a shitty thing to do.  You know how nearly every season Fiona asks another character if she’s a bad person?  The answer by now is abundantly clear: she is.  The way to not wind up alone is to make sure others aren’t neglected and left by YOU, Fiona.  

Just like last week, Ian has the funniest line in the episode, and once again, it’s unintentional, but he growls at Fiona, “I don’t know who you are anymore.”  This from the character that since before the time he said, “This isn’t me anymore,” hasn’t been consistent for two weeks in a row.  How did this show turn to such shit???

Ugh, then there was the Svetlana/Vee/Kev shit.  After all this time, suddenly Kevin feels insecure about his wife having good sex with another person.  Vee says Svetlana is a woman, so she knows what feels good to a woman’s body.  Kev (who is no longer a redneck this week, in case you were wondering) makes the logical leap that he should have sex with a man, because that will feel as good to him as woman on woman feels to Vee.  (Are we sure the new writer’s name isn’t just a nom de plume for John Wells?)

Kev runs into Ian at Patsy’s.  Ian’s looking at his phone-I’d like to think Cam was sending #BringMickeyBack tweets using his non-public accounts, but he’s not typing, just swiping, so let’s hope Ian was on Grindr trying to find someone to fuck without a lecture first.  Anyway, Kev asks Ian how he knew he was gay, if he was straight and began experimenting and just “decided” he liked being gay “more”.  Ian says he just kinda knew.  Kev says, “So you just always knew you were into dudes more.”  Instead of just saying, “Yes, I’ve always been gay,” Ian has to predicate his answer with a brand new story about how he went thru this “weird phase” with a girl for all of 5th grade because he knew/had been told he was supposed to be into girls.  Plus he DOESN’T mention the fact that a decade later, he had to prove it to himself by fucking a woman.  Oh, fuck you, Shameless.  You’re just never going to let Ian be all the way gay, are you?  

Anyway, Ian says, “It wasn’t until, ah...”  Kev says, “Until what?” and stupid me at home, foolishly thinking Ian’s going to say, “Until I joined Little League and fell in love with the first baseman...”  But, no, he says, “Justin Timberlake” and a lot of people online are praising the writer for having watched old episodes, but I’m figuring he watched a You Tube clip of Ian coming out to Mandy.  I don’t think the guy immersed himself in the show.  

Anyway, then there’s a bunch of flawed logic showing up all over the place.  Kev agrees with Ian that JT is hot, then asks Ian if he’s attracted to him-which is SO WEIRD when you consider Kevin’s known Ian since he was a kid-Ian says no but gets saved from having to get into it further when his to go order is given to him by Snore with her three lines in as many weeks (more about Ian’s thrilling drink order later).  Later Kev finds a gay guy and goes into the Alibi bathroom to give his first bj but he-and the gay guy-decide Kev can’t possibly be gay because he doesn’t have a hard on.  Yes, because gay men can’t NOT pop a boner at all times when they’re in close proximity to each other.  And how did Ian’s attraction to a hetero dude prove his homosexuality?  And then on top of all that, Vee goes to see Fiona and has an epiphany of her own-since she’s not sexually attracted to Fi, she can’t possibly be a lesbian, no matter how much she’s enjoying sex with Svetlana.  And what about the fact that both Ian and Mickey were able to have sex with women?  That means they’re not gay by the logic on display in this ep-altho Vee having sex with Svetlana doesn’t make her gay, so?  All this shit is why I know the latest writer ain’t gay either.  Ugh.  

What is it with Shameless writers that people of compatible sexuality can’t be friends without having sex?  Fucking Sue telling Ian he couldn’t be friends with a gay guy when he met Terror, now all this bullshit?  I’m sorry, I don’t think not being sexually attracted to hot mess Fiona says anything about anyone’s sexual orientation.  

Oh, and Fi tells Vee she likes being dominated by Svetlana, telegraphing an upcoming Fifty Shades Of Ghetto Grey story coming up for Kev and Vee a mile away.

All right, back to Ian.  At the beginning of the episode he’s sitting in the kitchen, isolated from the family conversation, his arms crossed over his chest (and he’s wearing a particularly ill-fitting and ugly shirt-I’m usually down for offbeat wardrobe choices, but he just looks crappy), and he’s fuming.  There’s a bowl of cereal and a coffee mug at his place, but no sign of his pills-is he off them?  Is he manic?  We’ll never know.  Carl is bitching about his tuition, Ian asks him how much he needs, Carl says a little over four thousand, Ian says he’ll pay him five to kill Fiona.

Whoa, hold the phone.  We had to suffer thru the jail visit in 601 where he gave Mickey shit about it being his own fault he’s in there for the “attempted murder” of his “sister”, but now he’s maybe half joking (at best) about doing the same to his actual sister?  FUCK YOU, IAN.  Too soon, Shameless.  Too fucking soon.  

The only thing I was mildly interested in this week was how they were going to handle/explain Ian’s tryst with the old couple-did he really have oral sex with them both, or did he get the money by blackmailing them, and what would he tell Terror about it, and what would that asshole’s reaction be?  You know, other than a lecture-would he freak out that Ian “cheated” on him right after they got back together?  Would he dump Ian’s ass?  

At Patsy’s, Snore gives Ian his order-a soy latte, no foam, extra hot-Yes!  Ian is bringing Terror another crap soy drink at the center, right?  Wrong.  A dream finally comes true and we get another Terror-free episode, but this week I actually wanted to see him, because I wanted shit to go down.  Silly me, I let myself forget that every week Ian is a new character, a practically blank slate.  

[boxwinebxtch]

Why Your Opinion is Wrong--Shameless Edition: Debbie is not the worst Gallagher

A very disturbing tweet has begun circulating lately, ranking the Gallagher family from best to worst, with Carl at the top and Debbie at the bottom-- placed behind even Frank and Monica. The rage and fury I feel over not only the mere existence of this utter bullshit, but also the popularity and agreement of this utter bullshit, is absolutely astounding. I was so thrilled when my favorite show in the galaxy started gaining popularity, but if this is what people are taking from it-- that DEBBIE is the worst of the Gallaghers-- then i’d just rather people not watch it all. Yes, i’m sure that most of the people who gave it a retweet were mostly joking but I read some of the replies and some people very firmly believe that Debbie is the worst. So to all of you Debbie haters out there, this ones for you. The main argument I saw against Debbie was that she was that the last few seasons Debbie has been a mega bitch. Words and phrases such as “terrible” “literally the devil” “worst character ever written” etc.. I can’t read the replies anymore out of fear that it will inspire me to go on a killing spree. Debbie was not only ranked after Monica and Frank (for FUCKS sake) but she was also ranked after  THE BROKEN DRYER IN THE FIRST SEASON. I guess the original tweeter added that in for comedic effect. I’M NOT LAUGHING. So first and foremost, i’d like to be clear that I am not defending Debbie’s questionable actions or unquestionable bitchiness in the past few seasons. She has done a lot of shit that makes me want to kick her in the shins. That being said, that is by no means grounds to be ranked dead fucking last. I know that this may all seem very dramatic. I know that the tweet is just meant to be funny. I know that I may be taking this a little bit too seriously. But hear me out so you can understand. I come from a family the same size as the Gallaghers. In fact, my family and I started watching it because the similar family dynamic peaked our interest. Additionally my siblings and mother were victims of parental/spousal abandonment, which resulted in a lot of financial struggles in addition to a shit ton of daddy problems for myself and and some other fun little side effects of your dad walking out on you. Shameless is not just a work of fiction to me, a lot of its content is deeply personally relatable and/or has been a situation that my family has been in too. The content is not only reflective of my own life, but it is also so fantastically well done that it makes it all the more important to me. The brilliant creators of Shameless captured life as a big family so beautifully. Not to mention the fucking amazing script writers, the complexity and depth of each character, etc etc X1 million. The show is very well done, is what i’m saying. And I feel like the quality of the show and the depth of the characters and the complexity of the challenges they face, is all too lost on a lot of viewers. I’ve seen and heard people make the joke a thousand times that “the Gallaghers make being poor look like fun.” I have never once felt that way when watching them struggle financially, but then again I know how it is to have 5 siblings and no source of income. It’s not fun. It’s fucking shitty as hell... my point is, people are watching it at face value and not truly experiencing it and understanding it at its full potential. People are watching it like they would a sitcom and that’s why, I believe, Debbie ended up at the bottom of the list. Debbie has made some bad fucking decisions. Debbie has been a huge bitch. But Debbie is so much more than that. Debbie is a single, teenage mother-- to be fair that situation could have been avoided, but nonetheless, a fucking single teenage mother. She wouldn’t even let Fiona, the woman who raised her, hold her infant for a long time, because Fiona so strongly urged Debbie to get an abortion. Debbie might have taken it too far, but she did it with her CHILD’S INTEREST AT HEART. Which is something neither of her parents did for her. Debbie’s bitch ass baby daddy ran the fuck off and is no where to be found, but she still hangs in there and takes care of the baby. What she wanted was a family and he abandoned her and she never uses that as an excuse to be a bad mother. In fact, she even tried to make peace with the father’s family, but to no avail. She  camped out in front of their god damn yard for DAYS when they took the baby away from her. Hell, she even named the baby after her own dead beat dad, because he was there for her during her pregnancy. Debbie is more forgiving of him than any of her siblings. And forgiveness is not fucking easy. Especially when it comes to neglectful parents. But yet she does it time and time again because Debbie’s core is extremely loving. Debbie put in work for her family from the time she was 9 (approximation) years old, running a day care from their house to help raise money for the squirrel fund. Girl is a hard fucking worker. Remember that one time when she was about 9 and she was suspicious of Jimmy Steve so she followed his ass all the way to Chicago to figure shit out because she knew he wasn’t doing right by her big sister? Remember how she had a meltdown when fake Aunt Ginger had to go back to the Nursing home because didn’t want her to be alone? Remember when she literally just wanted to be loved and cared for and all she ever did was love and care for people even if that love and care and desire to be loved and cared was sometimes trapped beneath a pile of negative behavior as a result of her upbringing? Debbie essentially has no parents. her baby dad bailed. She grew up in the hood. Shitty school. No fucking money. No one ever takes care of debbie. Debbie always takes care of other people. Fucking always. She is a nurturer but no one has nurtured her back and it’s clear that she craves that.  And that’s okay. It’s okay to want to be loved and cared for. It’s normal, in fact. I’m not saying that a hard life is a get out of jail free card by any means. What I am saying is that Debbie’s shitty fucking actions are not at all what they appear to be on the surface. Debbie is struggling a lot, that is evident in the latest seasons. She’s grasping at straws trying to create a good life for herself and she still is ending up with close to nothing. Home girl is bound to start acting out at some point. All of the Gallagher’s have done shitty fucking stuff usually as a result of their shitty fucking situations. Carl sold drugs and went to juvie for fucks sake. Lip is a destructive alcoholic who repeatedly acts like a giant dick to the people he loves. Fionna was careless and almost killed Liam via cocaine ingestion. Ian had an affair with a married man. Apparently, none of these things are grounds to be hated and deemed the worst character even though they are no better than Debbie’s actions. Most importantly, Debbie is in no way a shittier character than Frank and Monica. While their characters are also very complex and I hesitate to call either one of them “bad,” they are both without a doubt scummy individuals, and are intended so by the writers to be scummy characters. That’s part of the character description for both of those coked up dead beats. So, in conclusion, Debbie is not the worst Gallagher and if anyone needs more of an explanation I would be happy to oblige. If you think that any of the Gallagher children are terrible, then you don’t even deserve to watch the show because they are all fucking lovely in their own unique ways that make me want to cry 

[samtheflamingomain]

a shameless ending

Shameless is over. It ended exactly how I predicted the first time Frank had a lapse in memory.

I knew right away he was losing his mind, and that he wouldn't go gentle into that good night.

Having Frank's death be the end of the show was a perfect decision. Its execution however, to me, left a LOT to be desired.

I have very little to complain about regarding Frank dying alone in a hospital bed without anyone there to love him, him floating away, reading his suicide note. What I didn't like was literally everything else.

It was cute to have Mickey surprise Ian at the bar for their anniversary. I think if Frank's note had been read over the happy scene of all his kids and their loved ones celebrating love it would've been a great ending.

But for some reason they instead decided to have everyone sing a weird song outside while laughing at a guy whose car is on fire.

I've never liked the music they choose for this show. I HATE the theme song, and almost every choice they make I wonder why. I've never heard the song they sing at the end, I can't name it, and it's not catchy.

I get what they were going for. "Oh look at the shameless white trash singing laughing at a rich guy's car being on fire!" That's not shameless. That's... normal, if anything.

But it gets worse. In the last 2 episodes they "introduce" a 1-dimensional character for Debbie to fall in love with because she feels alone and breaks up with Sandy for "abandoning her kid".

As if Debbie isn't literally one of the worst parents on the entire show, Frank and Monica included. She's never held accountable for her bullshit, her blatantly terrible parenting, her hypocrisy, or her standing in the way of the family moving out of the ghetto into real lives just because she's "lonely". Deb grew up to be an absolute cunt. If they'd shown that as such, that would've been fine. Some people are cunts. But they still treated her as sympathetic???

I've had zero sympathy for her ever since she left Frannie in an empty house just expecting someone to take her to school while she went and fucked a minor. Whether they intended Debbie to be a bitch or not, they did the character dirty. Either commit to her being a shit parent or don't. Don't pretend like she's a good person when she blatantly isn't. The show is called "Shameless". We expect shitty people. We don't expect them to get full passes for being shitty.

Ian and Mickey's story wrapped up just fine for me. Though I continue to hate Tami because she's the worst, Lip's story does too come to a decent close.

That leaves Carl and Liam. Carl's a traffic cop, after trying to stand up for the poor and indigent in his community. I was really waiting on the moment he threw down the badge and quit, but... him picking on rich people for parking tickets is alright by me. Fight the man, no matter how small it seems. Honestly, I think Carl is the most well-rounded character of the cast. His morals are a mess, but that's okay, because he kind of knows that. He's kind of the only one actively trying to forge their own destiny and discover who he is at this point.

By now, Lip is a mechanic with a baby. Ian and Mickey are married. Debbie is a slutty mom. Liam is a kid and the only one who cares about Frank. These things haven't much changed for these characters lately. The Ian/Mickey plot was 80% about fucking furniture.

Carl always seems to be figuring something out about himself, and I like that. Anyway.

The biggest problem for me this season is Liam. I really feel like he was the break-out of this season. He got a lot more screen time than even Ian or possibly even Lip, and he had a lot of great character moments. I absolutely died when he won the iPad for naming his middle school "The Middle School" because the judges didn't like any of the names put forth. Kid's going places.

Once the idea of selling the house is put forward, for some reason, Liam assumes that means that he, an 11 year old, will be out on the street. The kid literally scopes out places to sleep on the streets of Chicago in preparation for being kicked out.

Eventually, Lip realizes this and reassures him that he has a place to stay with his family once the house is sold. But honestly that wasn't really enough for me.

When they were hugging, I was fully expecting Lip to say something like, "And if I didn't have a place for you, Ian would. And if he didn't, Debbie would. And if she didn't, V and Kev would." Liam breaks down in relief when Lip assures him he won't be homeless. But that's not enough. You need to fix this kid. The fact that he would even believe that selling the house meant him being homeless is something that needs to be addressed. That means that he truly feels nobody cares about him or notices him. And honestly, most of the Gallaghers aren't great about that. I think that's why he magnetized to Frank. Nobody else likes Frank. Nobody notices Liam. It makes sense, at least to an 11 year old.

It was equal parts frustrating and endearing to see him completely take over the role of taking care of a demented, dying Frank. He went out of his way to take him around to "do Frank things". In one of their last scenes together, Liam admits he's worried about taking care of him.

Frank asks, "Have you [the family] talked about what will happen to me when I get too bad?"

Liam says no. "But it'll probably fall on me to decide." Frank says that's a lot for a 9yo. Liam says "I'm 11." The point still stands.

As much as it's rewarding in a way to see Frank die alone, I think it would've hit a bit harder if Liam had been there.

I wasn't sure where to put these next 2 gripes but first, it was absolutely criminal that there wasn't an endtag showing us exactly how Frank stole Nighthawks from the museum. I HAVE TO KNOW HOW HE DID IT??

Second, the OD. V is a nurse and Ian is an EMT. They checked his pulse, and then did NOTHING. That's criminal negligence on those who didn't call 911. That should literally strip V and Ian of their licenses to practice medicine. That's unacceptable. I don't care that "he's done this before". He had a faint pulse, unresponsive to pain.

I hate my father with every fiber in my being, but I don't think I could stand over him, possibly on the edge of death, and not call 911. That right there is probably the most shameless part of the final episodes.

Finally, while I think it was great hearing Frank talk about his kids as he floated into death... I would've liked a more Six-Feet-Under kind of ending. Show us where everyone ended up. We know they sell the house... then what? A lot of shows would NOT benefit from an ending like this. But I think this is one of the few that would've.

All in all, not my favorite season of the show, but not the worst or even really a bad ending. Just not what I was expecting or hoping for.

I'm planning on rewatching from the beginning tomorrow. I've only seen each episode once and I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of the gold so I can't wait to finally binge this show I've been attached to at the heartstring for 7 years.

Stay Greater.

[tvserieshub]

Bing bang boom, bye-bye Fiona. Just like that, we have ourselves a finale. Tonight’s finale is dedicated to Emmy Rossum as she departs from Shameless after playing the lead, Fiona, for 9 years. As we say goodbye to Fiona, the family deal with their own issues, cementing Fiona’s realization that they don’t need her anymore and it is time for her to leave.

The episode kicks off with Fiona staring at the $100 000 check that Max wrote for buying her out of the zoning deal. She’s quit her job at the gas station and uses some the money to pay the fine for for assaulting her neighbor, and also leaves a check for half of it for the family. The check is made out to Debbie, as Fiona knows Debbie will be the one to step up and care for the household, much like she has been doing in the last few episodes.

As much as this episode is a good-bye, it seems a bit out of place. The title “Found” speaks to Fiona finally finding her peace and the episode follows in such, having a very calm tone. For the first time in her life, nothing is turbulent. She knows the right thing for her to do is leave, start anew, even she doesn’t know exactly where and what to do yet.

None of the drama and chaos of the previous episodes of trying to keep the household together exists in this episode, and everyone seems completely and immediately on board with Fiona leaving. As Fiona observes the family around her, she notices how much none of them need her. This has been the case for a long time but seems especially set up to encourage her to leave. That being said, the show could have done a lot more with Fiona’s goodbye, as they’ve known for a long time that Emmy Rossum was going to leave. The episode “Lost” and Found could have been a two-parter instead of having her good-bye set up as a lucky break at the end of the last episode.

Frank, confined to couch and driving everyone crazy, is still trying to get oxy, his intake of which is being carefully monitored by Debbie. The family take turns caring for him and eventually make plans to find him a healthcare worker. As for Frank and Fiona, they share very few words. After an entire episode of Frank mentoring Fiona, and after 9 years of Fiona constantly trying to kick Frank to the curb, I was expecting him to say more about his eldest leaving. Frank tells Fiona that she did a good job, stepping in where Monica couldn’t, but Fiona says she didn’t just step in – she did everything. Although at a lack for words, we can see that Frank is affected by her leaving – she did the job which he could never, picked up the slack and raised an entire family and now she has grown up and is about to get out of the South Side with a fresh start.

In this episode, Liam is discovering just how different he is from his family and what that means. When Debbie finds him at Todd’s house, he tells her he is feeling a disconnect from his cultural identity and knows nothing about his racial heritage. The Gallagher’s have always accepted Liam regardless of the fact that he looks a little different than the rest of him because he is their family and they accept and support him. However, Liam’s struggles with his identity goes hand-in-hand with feeling unnoticed and marginalized in the Gallagher household, as he doesn’t feel like he fits in. He tells Debbie he has moved out and that he is denouncing his Gallagher name.

What does not seem at all right though, is Fiona leaving without checking on Liam. Liam is still in her legal care, and she has in all regards raised him since he was a baby. Out of all the Gallagher’s, Liam is the only one not working, dealing with relationship drama, or trying to figure out what to do with his life next. Having received some really good private school education and always staying out of trouble, Liam is the only Gallagher on the genuine straight and narrow, with a really good prospects of doing great things in his future.

Fiona has raised the entire Gallagher family, but the difference between raising Liam and the others is that they were all old enough to understand Frank and Monica were deadbeat parents who could never be around to depend on. Liam has only ever known Fiona as a parental figure, and no matter what is going on, everyone always made sure to take care of the youngest, most impressionable Gallagher.

When Fiona visits Ian in prison, she tells him Liam might be missing, as casually as mentioning what drama’s the other Gallagher’s have been up to. Liam has never been the one to get into any trouble, so him suddenly missing should be a big worry. She doesn’t make an effort to find him – this instead is a role which Debbie assumes throughout the episode, which is a set-up for her to take charge of the family.

After so much of Fiona’s criminal life being related to Liam – her going to prison and for leaving cocaine out on which he overdosed and punching the woman who was racist toward him – one would think we would have seen more of a goodbye with Liam.

Our favorite ginger makes an appearance when Fiona goes to visit Ian in prison, and I could not be happier! Cameron Monaghan’s guest role in the finale was no surprise, as the show wouldn’t send Fiona off without seeing Ian. Ian tells Fiona to leave, to get as far away from the South Side as she can, and of all the characters, this seems like the most genuine reaction. Ian has been the only Gallagher who has been close to actually leaving – back in season 7 when he almost left with Mickey to go to Mexico. He is the only one who knows what it feels like to actually have the opportunity, the freedom to feel as if he could just leave.

Prison doesn’t seem like it’s been treating Ian too awful. As far as we can tell, him and Mickey are still an item (don’t worry Gallavich stans), which leaves the door open for Mickey’s return as well. While we do absolutely adore Gallavich and love Mickey, his return is not confirmed. Noel Fisher has not mentioned anything, and neither has Shameless showrunners. However, we absolutely adore Ian and couldn’t be more excited to see what’s in store for Ian now that Cameron Monaghan’s return in season 10 is confirmed.

Carl, still feeling heart-broken and rejected, is completely demotivated and has no idea what to do next in his life. He decides to quit military school, after feeling like his life has amounted to nothing – he tells Debbie that he is a loser with terrible education and has a family history of drug and alcohol abuse that is bound to catch up with him at some point. Carl has given up and completely doubts himself. He feels like the best life will ever get for him is having his job at Captain Bob’s – this coming after Captain Bob offers him an assistant manager job with good pay.

This time, it is Debbie who sets aside her feelings and helps Carl. She confronts Kelly for breaking Carl’s heart and blames her rejecting him for Carl’s decision to quit military school.  Kelly arrives at Captain Bobs’ and full on tackles Carl, announcing that he quits working there. She convinces Carl to go back to school, and the two make up when she tells him she still has feelings for him.

Lip and Tammi continue their back-and-forth fight as to what will happen with their baby. While Lip is clearly pushing for Tammi to have the child, she pushes back even harder. After learning that she does have the breast cancer gene that her mother had, albeit the ‘baby good’ kind in which having a child can diminish her chances of having a child, Tammi is even more conflicted as to what to do. She doesn’t want to die when the child is young, just like her mother did, and isn’t comforted by the thought of Lip raising a child either. With his struggles with alcoholism and smoking, Tammi doubts that Lip could live very long either to be the best kind of father.

Eventually Tammi tells Lip that she has decided to carry the baby to term but wants to give it up for adoption – a decision which doesn’t sit well with Lip, and the two are back to square one. Lip and Tammi aren’t in love with each other, and the fate of their relationship seems dependent on what happens with the baby.

When the family discover Fiona is leaving, they decide it is a necessity to throw her a party and take off to get supplies. Fiona, however, decides to leave before they return. When Lip returns to find her gone, he smiles and we can see he is happy for her – she’s finally committed to going, to finding her own happiness. Along with the check Fiona left was a note, saying simply, “Love you”, and everyone enjoys the party in celebration for her. Even Ian, from the prison basketball grounds, stares up at a plane – presumably the one Fiona boards with her one tiny suitcase – which is taking off and smiles.

“Take care of ’em for me, will you?”

All in all, although not the best execution, this episode was very heartfelt. To see Fiona move on with her life after all that she has been through, and to watch the family be happy for was very heartwarming. Fiona deserves to be happy, and after 9 season’s we say goodbye and thank you to Emmy Rossum for playing such an incredible character so well. With Fiona gone, Ian set to return, Lip facing possible fatherhood and Liam learning more about his culture, I am very excited to see what season 10 will bring.

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Hi there, thanks for reading! Watch this space for show updates and more, and we’ll see you in fall for season 10!

Shameless Season 9 Finale (S09E14) “Found” Bing bang boom, bye-bye Fiona. Just like that, we have ourselves a finale. Tonight’s finale is dedicated to Emmy Rossum as she departs from Shameless after playing the lead, Fiona, for 9 years. 1,703 more words

[koganphrancis]

To Paraphrase The “Leader” Of The Free World: Grab ‘em By The Junk

Or, my recap of Shameless Season H8 Episode 5

Fair warning: there will be speculation on some spoilers I’ve seen for future episodes, so if you avoid spoilers, turn back now.

I’m going to begin by telling you a story, a story about a guy who was in a fairly new relationship when he decided to run off with his true love for a few days, thereby ending what he had going with the new guy.  He came back after three days and asked his now-ex out, but that guy already had another date lined up and turned him down flat.  Months go by, and the guy keeps after his ex, asking him out time after time and getting shot down, showing up at his work, generally being a stalker, and finally the ex fucks another guy right in front of him to drive home the point that he’s just not interested.  But that doesn’t stop the stalker from trying to get back with his ex.  He keeps asking even more, gets turned down every time.  On the day of the night in question, he even asks the ex if he wants to shower with him, and the ex turns him down, without looking turned on in the least.  He’s not tempted, he’s not interested!  Later they decide to get dinner together, and they get take out, and instead of eating it near or where they got it, the guy seems to bring the ex to a deserted, isolated place where he’s had sex before.  He knows for a fact that no one will be around-even if his ex puts up a fight or starts to yell, no one will be around to break it up.  

The ex finishes his food and tells the guy he’s going to leave.  The guy says nothing.  The ex says he wants to thank the guy for his “help” that day (even tho the guy didn’t do shit).  The guy still says nothing, but walks up to the ex and starts kissing him, which quickly leads to him pushing him up against a fence, sticking his hand down his pants, and fingering/flicking/rubbing him till he orgasms.  

Now, I ask you-does that seem romantic at all?  Or does it sound like an open and shut case of sexual assault?  

WTF was ANYONE thinking in letting that scene make it to air?  The fact that Ian says NOTHING in the entire scene until after Terror comes made it even creepier than the abandoned waterfront and darkness all around atmosphere.  

Ugh, this week’s episode was worse than ever.  And as disconnected from the rest of the season as ever.  Every week, everyone’s got new shit going on, most if not all their old shit forgotten.  The only character the writers are owning it with is Frank-he’s gone thru his phases of flat out saying he’s in his 20s, 30s, and now this week his 40s.  They have his character change a bit (altho ironically, he’s probably been the most consistent, even tho they’re trying to write him outrageously different in each installment), while everyone else is practically brand new every week.

This week Debbie sits in a bar bitching about how her mother was never there for her, and she won’t do that to her daughter, who at that very moment she is neglecting-wtf?  She’s dropping her off with different people every week.  This week they also rip off last week’s Fiona crap by having Franny’s (recast) baby daddy show up unexpectedly.  I really hope he’s there to take custody of Franny and we can have less of Debbie the crappy teen mom, but I’m sure that’s too much to ask.  Debs ends the episode by doing drugs while the baby’s strapped into a car seat and then Debbie waking up next to the long haired dude.  Next week’s preview show her trying to get an older woman to buy her the morning after pill-um, Debbie has to be 18 to be in welding school in Illinois, I can’t imagine you have to be older than that to buy Plan B...

Carl has a junkie tied up in the basement who doesn’t die on him whilst going thru withdrawals-oh, that wacky Shameless!  Carl also needs to make $12,000 because he lost his military school scholarship, and the idiot seems to think he’ll be able to do that working at Patsy’s Pies and using Fiona’s car all night to be a Uber driver...He’s too stupid to be in school, surely.  By the end of the ep, his “cured” junkie shows up with his passed out girlfriend, wanting Carl to do the same for her, and he gives him $5000 for his own cure and says the girl’s parents will pay him $2500.  I really hope someone fucking dies on him.

Lip suddenly and inexplicably has baby fever.  I know there are fans who have always felt Lip wants to be a father, but I’ve never seen it.  He only cared about Karen’s pregnancy because he thought it was a way to tie her to him when she wanted nothing to do with him.  When he wanted to make that video to “his” kid I thought he was just being a shit to Mandy-Lip never once told Karen he’d raise the kid by himself.  Anyway. Lip’s sponsor is having a hard time adjusting to fatherhood, but Lip holds his kid for a few minutes and now that’s what he wants?  When he’s been told he can’t handle a romantic relationship till he’s been sober longer?  He honestly thinks a kid would be easier?  And while he’s working at two low wage jobs?  On the bright side, it’s nice to see Ian’s not the only character they’ve run out of ideas for.  Oh, and who the mother of Lip’s offspring may be they’re not really saying-Snore had one scene in the show with zero lines again.  Why did they even keep her signed on to the show?  Anyway, Lip’s sponsor slips and drives off drunk, and Prof. Youens (remember him?  Neither does Lip, apparently) isn’t mentioned for another week.  And I wish I knew what the show’s point is-you’d THINK seeing all his sponsors losing their sobriety again would be teaching Lip that recovery is a difficult thing you have to keep working at-or that he’d at least ask Carl to lock him in the cellar for a week or two...

Fiona and Nessa continue their contrived “friendship”.  Fiona’s got a bug in her ass about a “junkie” church that’s bringing down her property value.  The woman that owns Patsy’s owns the church, but she’s trying to unload it because it’s a big unmanageable, nonconvertible building.  

Svetlana and Vee have sex a couple of times, I think.  Didn’t pay close enough attention since it seems like that whole storyline is just them spinning their wheel and I never bought into the thrupple thing and is the point that Vee actually loves Svetlana-or that she’s like John Wells and digs woman on woman sex scenes?  Kev’s sitting around talking like a redneck and playing the banjo.  I mean, that could be making the case that Svetlana is the better spouse, but we know Kev and Vee will never split up because the show doesn’t have it in for them.

Meanwhile, Terror and Ian.  Ian tells Carl on their morning run that he’s seeing Terror later to meet with a potential donor for the youth center, and that Terror is bringing Ian along for his “South Side cred”. Why...wouldn’t...Terror...bring...one...of...the..actual...youths?  Later that same morning, Terror once again walks right into the EMT garage where they keep the trucks with tens of thousands of dollars of equipment in them without a problem.  HE tells Ian that they’re meeting with a donor later that day-yeah, we already know this, why does Terror have to show up and tell a sweaty Ian this?  Oh yeah, so Ian can hit on him when Terror tells him to be sure to shower-WHY IS TERROR ALWAYS TELLING IAN WHAT TO DO?  Why does Ian put up with it?  He fucking broke up with Mickey for telling him to take the pills that are saving his life, he bitched at Fiona whenever she told him what to do-why does he put up with it when that sniveling rodent tells him what to do?  We also find out during their painful exchange that the church Ian saw on his run with Carl is already on Terror’s radar-Ian says he saw the church Terror told him about-so this doesn’t even fulfill Terror telling Ian last week that Ian finding a place for the teens would get him out of the doghouse.  Anyway, Carl says something like, “Are you still trying to get in his pants?” and Ian, via Sheila Callaghan’s atrocious writing has Ian say Terror is the best person he knows.

Yes, because the people Ian would be meeting in his line of work-the first responders, the nurses, the doctors-they’re all pricks just working for the paycheck.  But Terror is a goddamn saint, his salvation, his key to a happy, full life.  But maybe I’m being to hard on Sheils, maybe what she meant Ian to say was, “Out of all the people that have just wanted me for sex, he’s the best one I know.”  

Then Ian says Terror is “great in the sack” and that line is so unbelievable it’s a wonder lightning didn’t strike him dead.  Sheila, you’re trying too hard to make it happen-it’s too late, no one’s gonna believe you now.  Ian couldn’t run to Mickey fast enough in Season 7, Terror wasn’t enough to keep him home.

At the tea on the veranda, Ian is distracted trying to figure out why the older guy seems familiar.  Later it hits him, and he tells Terror that guy was a “Friday night regular” who paid him for blowjobs at The Fairy Tail.  So, now it’s canon that Terror DID know all about Ian’s retconned past as a teen prostitute, and what does THAT say about Terror, a person who works with at risk youth, telling Ian to have anonymous sex when he was upset?  Oh, boy, don’t get me started!  All Terror has to say upon hearing Ian used to blow this guy on the regular is that they should’ve asked for more money.  The guy had agreed to give them ten grand-Terror had told him they could get a lease for $5000 down and $5000 for the first month’s rent (where they’d get money to keep paying the lease wasn’t brought up).  

They go by the church and that’s when Terror asks Ian if he wants to get something to eat-Terror says he could go for some teriyaki beef (and I THINK that was supposed to be suggestive and sexy and funny-just like the unfunny thing he said about muffin tops that one time-how did this show once write for Mickey?  Oh yeah, different writers plus a lot of improv from Noel, but I digress) and then it’s the godawful scene by the water which starts with Terror talking to Ian about his job like they’re on a first fucking date and shouldn’t this ground have been covered already between them?  They’ve talked about Ian being a teen pony boy, but not about Terror’s dreams to put a roof over “at least three kids’ heads”?  (and, really?  he needed to drag Ian in to “help” him find a place for three kids-that’s his goal?)  

The kiss scene was once again laughable with its lack of chemistry, plus the way Terror is panting with his open mouth right into Ian’s face, all I could think about was what did he just eat and wasn’t his breath gross, LMAO.  

But what wasn’t laughable was the total lack of consent-seriously, after months and months of being told No, Ian had no right to do any of the physical stuff he did.  It’s a shitty trope in fiction-and a dangerous one in real life-that someone is just “playing hard to get” and that the other obsessed party can do what they’re doing because it’s coming from a place of “love”.  That’s not love.  And sure Shameless had no way of knowing how quickly sexual assault was going to be taken more seriously in the world all of the sudden, but they have had time to do a quick replacement scene for what they showed.  They clearly don’t see anything wrong with it-we were supposed to think it was this big romantic reunion.  I really wonder if this scene was what Sheila got the “sounds rapey” note for-I wonder if Ian had dialogue they deleted because he sounded like what he basically has turned into-a persistent creep who wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

Ian finally has a line when it’s over, I guess he says, “Record time”, like Terror was so horny for him after denying him all this time.  It wasn’t hot, it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t anything especially in comparison to the fucking fireworks display that Ian and Mickey’s reunion by that very same body of water was-when the hell is the show going to realize how much lamer they’re managing to make Terror look by always trying to insert him into scenarios we already saw play out with Mickey?  And it’s literally the only line Cam has in the entire scene-even when Terror’s talking about his work, Ian’s just staring at him like he’s contemplating date rape.  

Terror’s reply to “record time” was, “You caught me off guard”-but it should’ve been, “You took me against my will.” 

Also, when Ian asks Terror if he wants to join him in the shower in the earlier scene, it isn’t hot at all, just pervy-I’m surprised they didn’t have Ian palming his dick while he asked.  He had such a predatory vibe in his Terror scenes.  

Anyway, the morning after the gross kiss scene, Ian comes down the backstairs at the Gallaghers and Terror is right on his heels like a little yippy dog.  The camera gives us a quick close up of Fiona beaming that her little bro has a bf again who won’t set a match to his perfect life.

There’s a scene thrown in of him breaking into the church with the youth that looks like Terror and Geneva (the girl who got into his bed with him).  This week, when Geneva goes to hug Ian because the church is going to be the perfect shelter (not really tho-even tho they keep referring to rooms in the back where “priests” lived-don’t churches usually only have the one priest-the majority of the building is a wide open space-what are they planning to do, just put a bunch of cots in there?)-anyway, instead of letting her hug him, Ian turns his shoulder and puts out his fist for a bump.  Isn’t it wonderful that Terror is teaching him things like don’t put your hands on underage girls?  Ian never could’ve figured that out for himself!   

Then there’s yet another scene at the EMT garage-doesn’t Ian ever go out on rescues?-and Terror once again walks right in.  Ian asks him if someone stole his lunch money which was the funniest scene in the episode because Terror has absolutely no expression on his face (or maybe it was hidden under his tremendous eyebrows).  Ian only knows he was “upset” because the script said so.  

Terror tells him that the owner of the church doesn’t want to lease it anymore.  Ian tells him he should buy it.  Terror says with what money-I think.  It was so boring I wasn’t really paying attention.  

Later that night, Ian goes to the house of the rich dude, with the intent to blackmail him into giving him money.  The guy immediately calls his wife to the door (she’s even older than the old dude) and tells her Ian’s the redhead from The Fairy Tail.  Using a stereotypical rich bitch accent, she tells Ian she hears he gives exquisite head and wonders if his talents extend to both genders and she’s willing to give him money to find out.  Ian only asks for enough for a down payment on the church, again making me wonder what the fuck the plan is to keep making payments beyond that first month.  Shameless was so prooud of Sheila’s great writing that they bestowed it with this:     https://twitter.com/SHO_Shameless/status/938460539495243777

I made a post the other night saying I don’t believe that Ian actually went thru with having any type of sex with them-that would go against the company policy that their corporate mandated trans character is just so good for Ian and without him Ian would be the same loser they retconned him into when they didn’t sign Noel to another contract.  So, we’ll see.  

I’m actually hoping Ian did go thru with it, and that Terror breaks up with him again, and that’s why there’s that still of Ian lying on his little twin bed looking miserable with Fiona talking to him.  Maybe their plan is to rip off the Mickey finding out Ian did porn for money scene.  With this shitty show, anything is possible!

Ian shows up at the diner the next day in different clothes, so at some point between the old couple and the morning, he apparently went home at least-whether or not he’s seen Terror isn’t known to us.  Anyway, Fiona’s with her boss and the two artists who are interested in the church.  Ian walks right up to them and tries to hand Margot the check, and Ian and Fiona have a moment of realizing they’re both talking about the same place.  So, here’s the thing I don’t get-why is the Shameless twitter account asking if people are Team Ian or Team Fiona?  Fiona doesn’t really have a say in who GETS the building-she doesn’t own it.  And since Margot does own other property in the area, I would think she’s going to choose the art gallery to further gentrify the neighborhood and improve her own property rates, but that she doesn’t give a flying fuck if that helps Fiona or not.  So this doesn’t really seem to be an Ian vs Fiona thing.  Also, once again, what happened to the bitch slapping South Siders we started watching this show for?  How is having two siblings battling over a $200,000 piece of property anything most people can relate to?  It’s so tedious that they’re so upscale now-are we supposed to think more money, more problems?  Everything is so contrived and boring.

Anyway, Ian and Fi take it outside and Ian seems manic, but maybe it’s just Sheila’s shitty writing and Cam working really hard to get upset over an unrealistic plot point?  But he’s right in Fiona’s face yelling about “his” kids (that he just started interacting with outside of his EMT duties LAST WEEK), and it was sort of like when he was insisting demons were trying to take “his” baby away from him when he ran off with Yevgeny.  Fi says those kids aren’t much better than the junkies (I think-I didn’t take notes and in the end, nothing that happened this week will probably ever matter much) and says something about Geneva sleeping at their house and how she bit a guy’s dick off-what?  I guess Cam needed to show us more of those script pages.  Anyway, she tells Ian to “find another church”-I really didn’t get why she thought she had the upper hand.  Shouldn’t homeless kids beat an art gallery no matter what she thinks she wants to charge for rent?  I’ve seen a few reviews saying how this is such an excellent plot point to have the siblings battle over, and it’s just...not?  It’s so made up and unbelievable and in the end won’t have any lasting consequences.  Ian’s really going to be the new savior of homeless at risk youth?  I somehow doubt it.  

Anyway-some spoilery stuff: Since Ian winds up running his “Occupy Fiona” movement and chanting “Cuntlord” at her apartments, I think we can all guess the kids don’t wind up getting the church to use as a shelter.  Also, Ian’s going to meet the Pray The Gay Away priest, so, what, now he’s just got it in his head that a church is the perfect place to convert into a shelter and goes out in search of another one?  Fiona did tell him to find another church, so I guess new Ian does exactly what everyone else tells him to do? 

I hope that whatever happens, Ian gets so involved with this cause that Terror breaks up with him because he’s not paying enough (as in “all of his”) attention to Terror.  Or that Terror breaks up with him because of Ian prostituting himself out to the old couple-or even if he did just extort money from them (because that would probably make other would-be donors reluctant to pitch in).  Hell, at this point I’d even welcome that Ian’s manic again-I’d love to see Terror not be able to deal and to just walk away because his life is hard enough already or whatever bullshit he (and the writers) would use to justify abandoning Ian when Mickey never did.  

I was going to say that at least now I have a compelling reason to tune in next week-I want to see the fallout and Terror’s reaction to how Ian got that money-but then it hit me, next week’s episode will have been written by someone else so that might not even come up.  What a mess.  

[alexisrosemullens]

you are the one (designed for me)

Summary: Everyone has a timer that countdowns until you meet your soulmate. When you meet them, it turns into an infinity sign. The Gallaghers have bad luck with their soulmates, especially Ian whose soulmate left when he needed him the most.

Chapter One: time is moving slow

Chapter Two:  My mind runs away to you  

Chapter Three: I have one vacancy and I wanted you to know that  

Chapter Four: we’re meant to be

 The baby discussion starts and doesn’t seem to stop. The first thing they have to decide is whether to use Ian or Mickey’s sperm. Mickey says since Yevgeny is his, it only makes sense they use Ian’s. Ian argues that he doesn’t want to chance passing his bipolar down. Mickey argues back that if they go with his sperm and use Debbie or Fiona’s eggs, there is still a chance of the kid getting bipolar. It seems like an endless cycle of arguing so they decide to figure out the lack of egg situation first. Their first thought is Mandy or Fiona. With Mandy pregnant, she is out of the question until after she has the baby. Fiona heistates and says she will think about it.

 Svetlana is the one that brings up herself as a possibility. She says she knows a doctor that can do it for cheap and they don’t have to worry about the insane costs.

 “It makes sense. I am Yev’s mother and already live here. We raise Yev together. New baby is not any different,” she says. “Plus, I would like another baby.”

 Ian crosses his arms and turns to Mickey. “It makes sense. Fiona wasn’t sure and I don’t want to ask Debbie. She’s in college, bouncing between girlfriends and boyfriends. Mandy will definitely say no after she has her baby.”

 Mickey bites his lip. “Fine. But only if we use your sperm. Yev’s already mine and Svet’s. It makes sense, Ian.”

 “Mick-”

 “The kid will have a 15 to 30% chance of getting bipolar. Those chances are pretty low, Ian,” Mickey says, walking closer to him and tugging his hand. “Plus, a little freckled red haired running around would be pretty fucking cool.”

 Ian rolls his eyes, smiling at Mickey’s comment. He looks over at Svetlana. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 “Yes,” Svetlana says.

 “Okay, let’s go talk to your doctor.”

 They think the baby process is just Ian jerking off in a cup and injecting the sperm into Svetlana’s eggs but it’s more than that. The doctor Svetlana knows says it’s a little more involved than that. He puts Svetlana on hormone injections and constant appointments to get her to produce more eggs so he can retrieve the eggs then implant them fertilized. It’s a long process.

 “How the fuck is this cheaper?” Mickey asks one day, reading over the bills. They are about a month into the process. Ian is giving Svetlana hormone shots every day now. “Svet, you said he was giving us a discount?”

 “He is. It is usually twice that,” Svetlana says, wincing a little when Ian stabs her. He mumbles an apology as he takes the needle out and places a cloth over the site, putting pressure on it. She shoos his hand away and takes over holding the cloth.

 “Fuck. This is ridiculous. We should have done this the ghetto way,” Mickey grumbles, tossing the bills away.

 ���I’m not fucking Svetlana,” Ian says before Mickey can say anything else.

 Mickey shrugs. “Why not? I fucked Svetlana and that’s how Yevgeny came about.”

 Ian glares at him, putting away the hormone injections and his bag. “No.”

 Mickey huffs, leaning back in his chair. “Just trying to save us some money, man.”

 They decide not to tell Yevgeny until Svetlana is pregnant, not wanting to get his hopes up. They hide the hormones and medicine from him and whenever Svetlana has to go to the doctor’s, he goes over to Fiona’s or Lip’s. He’s so excited about having two baby cousins on the way; he can’t stop talking about them. They know he’s going to be excited to be a big brother.

 Fiona is the only one that knows they are doing in vitro. They decided early on to keep it on the downlow especially with Mandy and Ella being pregnant. She is so excited about the possibility of having two nieces or nephews. She was worried at first that the baby will be Ian’s but is still supportive. She helps out whenever she can.

 Mandy and Derek get married when she is about five months pregnant and Ella is close to her due date. It’s a small ceremony with the Gallaghers, Mickey, Svetlana, Yevgeny, and a few other Milkovichs. Mandy doesn’t stop smiling the whole night.

 Fred Gallagher is born a few days later. Lip calls Ian around three in the morning to tell him the news and Ian can hear in his voice how happy he is.

 “He’s so tiny,” Ian whispers, rocking his nephew back and forth. Fred has been home for a few days now and Yevgeny has been begging to meet him. Ian and Mickey didn’t want to take him to the hospital so waited until Lip and Ella bought Fred home. Ian and Mickey finally have a day off and take Yevgeny over.

 “I want to hold him!” Yevgeny says, reaching out. “Please, Dad.”

 “Go wash your hands and dry them really well,” Ian instructs, motioning him to go to the bathroom. Yevgeny runs off immediately.

 Lip chuckles, leaning back in the chair. “He’s a little excited.”

 “Yeah,” Ian says, swaying when Fred starts making a small noise.

 “How does he feel about being a big brother?”

 Ian takes his eyes off his nephew to stare at his brother. “How did you-Fiona.”

 “It slipped, man, don’t be mad at her,” Lip says. “She’s excited. She gets to have babies around again and she doesn’t have to take care of them.”

 Ian chuckles. He looks around to see if Yevgeny is still washing his hands. “Yev doesn’t know. We don’t want to get his hopes up and it not happen.”

 “Makes sense.”

 “Svet goes in a few days for her egg retrieval procedure and the eggs are implanted two days later. We’re all really nervous about it,” Ian confesses.

 Lip moves to speak but Yevgeny runs into the room, bouncing excitedly. “Can I hold him now, Dad?”

 “Sit down, Yev,” Ian motions to the couch. Yevgeny sighs dramatically and sits down on the couch. “All the way back.” Yevgeny sighs again and moves to sit with his back against the couch. Ian sits beside him and places Fred in Yevgeny’s arms, warning Yevgeny to hold the baby’s head.

 Yevgeny smiles at Fred and looks up at Ian. “I want a baby brother or sister, Dad.”

 Lip makes a noise between a laugh and a couch, standing up. “I’m going out for a smoke. Don’t tell Ella if she ever gets done gossiping with your husband. I told her I was quitting.”

 Ian snorts, watching his brother leave. “Yeah, okay.”

 Ella walks in a few minutes later with a cup of tea, Mickey behind her. “Is Lip outside smoking?” When Ian nods, she groans and curses. She looks over and smiles at Yevgeny holding Fred. “Yevy, you want a baby brother or sister?”

 Yevgeny yells yeah and Mickey pokes Ella in the side, glaring at her. She laughs then takes Fred from Yevgeny when he starts crying.

 A few days, Svetlana has her egg retrieval procedure and the eggs are implanted two days later. They have to wait almost two weeks before they find out if it works. Ian takes extra shifts to get his mind off of it and Mickey takes all the late shifts at the Alibi. They try not to get their hopes up too much but then they go visit little Fred and think in nine months, they could have this. But it falls apart two weeks later when the test comes back negative. Svetlana immediately wants to try again but the doctor says no, to wait a few more months.

 Ian and Mickey are disappointed but hopeful that the next time, it will happen. In the meantime, they keep busy. Mickey took Carl under his wings when he was released from prison, helping him get a job and back on track. Carl bounces from job to job, struggling to get back on track so Mickey gets him a job at the Alibi when he turns 21. It helps Carl out and Mickey is able to do more bar business behind the scenes for Kev and V. Liam starts high school and gets bullied for covering his countdown. He pushes back and ends up suspended. Fiona is furious and shows up at the school, demanding everything to be fixed. The school refuses and Liam stays suspended for a week. When he gets back to school, he tells the others he refuses to let his life be decided by a dumb countdown. The other kids back off. Some even agree with him and cover their countdowns up as well. Debbie meets her soulmate for real this time. She freaks out at first but realizes it’s going to be okay after Fiona and Ian talk her down. So Debbie takes it slow with her soulmate. She doesn’t want to rush anything.

 Caroline Milkovich-Weber is born exactly four months after Fred. Ian and Mickey are at the hospital from the time Mandy goes into labor until Caroline arrives. When Mandy places Caroline in Mickey’s arms, he gives Ian a look and Ian smiles knowingly.

 “You know, it doesn’t hurt to try again,” Mandy says, watching at them. “It’s going to happen for you guys. And when it does, you both are going to be great fathers.”

 “Thanks, Mandy,” Ian grins, taking Caroline from Mickey and bouncing her a little.

 “Who told you?” Mickey asks.

 “Svetlana. And Fiona.”

 “Jesus Christ. We can’t do anything without everyone in this family talking about it,” Mickey rolls his eyes.

 Ian bumps his shoulder lightly. “You know you love it.”

 Svetlana starts the in vitro process again a week later. The next two months are a mix of more medicine and doctor’s appointments. This time everyone except Yevgeny knows what’s going on. Everyone is so excited even though Ian and Mickey warn them not to get too excited. Ian and Mickey get practice in by watching Fred and Caroline. When Svetlana has the eggs implanted, they decide to tell Yevgeny this time.

 “Yev!” Mickey hollers up the stairs. “Come down here for a second!”

 “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Ian says, handing Svetlana a mug of tea and sitting next to her with his mug. “What if it doesn’t work again?”

 “Then we’ll try again,” Mickey shrugs, sitting by Ian and wrapping his arm around the back of Ian’s chair. “Or adopt.”

 Yevgeny walks in the kitchen and stops at the sight of the three of them sitting at the table. He takes a step back and raises his eyebrows. “What did I do? I swear, it wasn’t me! It was Liam. Or Jemma and Amy.”

 Ian snorts, covering his face quickly in Mickey’s shoulder.

 “You are not in trouble, Evgeni,” Svetlana says, motioning to the seat. “We need to talk to you.”

 Yevgeny looks at all of them and slowly moves to the table to sit down. “Is this a trick?

 “No, kid, it’s not a trick. Sit down,” Mickey says.

 Yevgeny heistates for a second then pulls the chair out and sits down.

 “You know how you have been asking for a brother or sister?” Mickey asks. Ian shifts in his chair, moving closer to Mickey. Yevgeny nods. “Well, you might get that wish.”

 “Really?” Yevgeny exclaims.

 “Your mom is having a small procedure tomorrow and in a few weeks, there’s a possibility you could have a brother or sister in nine months,” Ian tells him. “But don’t get your hopes too much, Yevy. There’s a chance it won’t work.”

 Yevgeny nods slowly. “Okay. Can I go with you guys tomorrow?”

 “No.”

 “Absolutely not.”

 “You have school.”

 Yevgeny sighs dramatically. “Okay.”

 The next two weeks are long. Yevgeny is constantly asking about the baby or if there is a baby. He drives them nuts. Finally the two weeks pass. Svetlana sits nervous on the table, swinging her feet back and forth, waiting for the doctor. Ian stands by her, shifting his feet. Mickey paces back and forth, chewing on his nail.

 “Mick, you’re going to bite off your nail,” Ian warns. “Just come stand by me.”

 Mickey grumbles and walks over to Ian, crossing his arms.

 The doctor knocks on the door and walks in. “There’s my favorite unconventional family.” The doctor laughs, closing his folder.

 Mickey rolls his eyes. “Just tell us if she’s knocked up or not.”

 “Mickey!”

 The doctor ignores Mickey’s comment and smiles at Svetlana. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.”

 Ian lets out a loud cry of joy, throwing his arms up in excitement before wrapping his arms around Mickey. Mickey laughs, leaning into the hug and reaching his hand out. Svetlana grins at them, taking Mickey’s hand and squeezing it.

 The rest of the appointment is a blur as they listen to instructions and all other pregnancy information. After the appointment, Ian and Mickey drop Svetlana off at work then go to pick Yevgeny up at Fiona’s. Yevgeny runs to greet them at the door, Fiona not far behind with a questioning look on her face.

 “Well?” Yevgeny asks.

 Ian and Mickey can’t stop smiling and Yevgeny squeals when he sees their smiles, hugging them. Fiona gasps, her hand covering her mouth.

 “Jeez, Fiona, don’t cry,” Ian says when he sees her face.

 Fiona waves her hand in front of her eyes to try to stop from crying. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I’m going to be an aunt!”

 “Aunt Fi, you’re already an aunt,” Yevgeny reminds her, his hands on his hips and his eyebrows raised.

 Fiona laughs, hugging the boy and trying to pick him up but fails, ruffling his hair instead. “I could never forget about my first nephew.”

 Yevgeny pushes her off and fixes his hair. He mumbles something no one can understand, slightly annoyed by his aunt.

 “I’m just so happy!” Fiona beams, pulling both Ian and Mickey in for a hug. ���Everything is just so perfect right now.”

 They say goodbye to Fiona and promise to bring an ultrasound picture over when they go back to the doctor. They cannot contain their joy as they walk back to their house, each of them holding Yevgeny’s hand and swinging it, causing the boy to laugh. Mickey’s laughter stops when they make it to the door. A man is leaning beside it, messing with his phone. He looks up when he hears footsteps and puts up his phone.

 “It’s you,” he says softly, walking towards them.

 Mickey drops Yevgeny’s hand and backs up. “What are you doing here?”

 “I’ve been looking for you for years,” The man says. He stops and looks at Ian and Yevgeny, frowning at them like he just realized Mickey wasn’t alone.

 “Dad?” Yevgeny speaks up.

 Ian squeezes Yevgeny’s hand, a little too tightly, causing the boy to look up at him. He knows what’s going on; who this guy is. He looks over at Mickey who pulls his sleeve down. Ian sighs and motions to the door. “Let’s go inside and talk.”  

 The tension is thick once inside. Mickey and Ian send Yevgeny to his room to work on homework. He tries to protest but stops when he sees both his dads’ stern stare. Ian makes some tea for the man, Milton. What kind of name is Milton anyway? Ian tries to shake off his bad thoughts that were running through his head by sitting next to Mickey and taking his hand in his and squeezing it. Mickey places his other hand on Ian’s thigh and gives Milton a look that says he’s happy. He’s fine.  

 “So, I-uh signed up for those websites to help find your soulmate. It took them awhile but they found you,” Milton says, picking up his tea.

 Mickey makes a noise, squeezing Ian’s thigh. Ian rubs his hand in response.  

 “Anyway,” Milton clears his throat, setting the tea back down. “I’m a computer scientist. Work for a company on the North Side. I teach at night for a little extra cash.”

 Ian looks over at Mickey, trying to read his face but can’t. Mickey squeezes Ian’s thigh again as if to calm himself down.

 “I’m a bartender,” Mickey finally says. “Ian’s a paramedic. My ex-wife lives with us for the kid. She’s a sales rep. We work out our schedule to where one of us is home with the kid at night.” Ian notices how Mickey enunciates the we and our, reminding Milton that they’re together and he’s coming into their lives. Their life they made together.

 “Oh,” Milton replies, looking down. “How long have you guys been together?”

 “Six, almost seven years. Married for three,” Mickey tells him.

 “Wow,” Milton shifts in his seat. “When we first met, I didn’t think you wanted this. I mean, you ran away so fast.”

 Ian stiffens at his words, pulling his hand out of Mickey’s. Mickey immediately looks over, trying to grab his hand again. Ian shakes his head, reaching for the empty mug on the table. “I’m going to make more tea,” he mumbles, heading into the kitchen.

 He roughly places the mug in the sink, the mug hitting the metal with a loud clunk. He curses, placing his hands on either side of the sink and bowing his head. He tries to get his breathing under control, his anger to simmer down. He hears footsteps walk in the kitchen and sees Mickey’s boots. He looks up at his husband, words lost to him.

 “I uh- sent him away,” Mickey says, leaning his hip against the counter beside him and crossing his arms. “Look, Ian-”

 “I think I’m going to stay at Fiona’s tonight,” he interrupts.

 Mickey stands up straight, panic written all over his face. “What? Why?”

 “I just need some time to think about this,” he whispers.

 “About us? About our family?”

 Ian sighs, bowing his head, pushing against the sink. “I can’t be here right now. I can’t do this.”

 “Ian-” Mickey tries to reach for him but Ian pushes away and out of the kitchen.

 He knows Mickey is following him to the door but he can’t think right now. All he can think is      Milton, Milton, Milton, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor.    The names start to blend. He shakes his head and puts on his jacket, turning to Mickey one more time.

 Mickey steps closer, grabbing onto his jacket and yanking him forward. “I love      you    , Ian.”

 “I know,” Ian mumbles, grabbing Mickey’s hands and forcing them off his jacket. He gives Mickey a long look then is out the door.

 He doesn’t break down until he walks into his childhood house and collapses into his older sister’s arms. Fiona doesn’t say anything; she just rubs his back and hugs him. The next morning, he is greeted with a pounding headache and Fiona with coffee, his pills, and toast. He groans and moves over so Fiona can join him on the too small bed. She hands him the plate of toast first and watches him eat it. After he swallows the last bite, she hands him the coffee and pills.

 “These aren’t going to work,” he mumbles, swallowing the pills anyway.

 “They’re your current prescription,” Fiona tells him.

 Ian shakes his head, tears starting to flow. “It’s not that.”

 “Come here, sweetface,” Fiona lays his head on her shoulder, rubbing his arm. “You gonna tell me what happened?”

 “Mickey’s soulmate came back. Milton.”

 Fiona laughs at the name, kissing the top of Ian’s head. “So? Mickey loves you. You think Mickey’s going to leave you for this Milton?”

 “It’s not that,” Ian lifts his head off her shoulder and turns to her. “Mickey ran away from him when they first met.”

 “Oh,” Fiona’s face fills with understanding. She grabs his hand squeezing it. “I’m sure there’s a reason that he did that. Mickey has a reason for everything. And if you’re worried about him leaving you, he’s been with you for almost seven years. If he hasn’t gotten tired of your ass by now, he’s not ever going to.”

 Ian groans at his sister’s poor attempt at humor, bowing his head. “Yeah, well, Trevor was with me for three years and he was my soulmate.”

 “Oh, baby, Mickey’s not going to do that,” Fiona takes his face in her hands and forces his eyes to look at her. “Mickey loves you. And you love him. Give him a chance to tell you why he ran.”

 “I can’t,” Ian cries. “Milton’s his soulmate. He deserves a chance to be with him.”

 “Ian, baby, the universe was wrong, okay?” she stresses, staring him down. “It got your soulmate wrong. It got Mickey’s wrong. You are meant to be with each other. Not Milton. And definitely not Trevor. You need to talk to him.”

 Ian shakes his head. “I can’t. Not right now.”

 Fiona sighs in acceptance, knowing she’s not going to be able to get through to him. “Okay.” She climbs off the bed, grabbing the empty plate and turning to leave.

 “Fiona?”

 Fiona hums, turning back to look at him.

 “I’m not going to be able to get up for a few days,” he tells her.

 She nods. “I’ll call Sue.”

 This time it’s two days and only because Yevgeny comes over on the second day. Yevgeny cries when he sees Ian, forcing Ian to get up and make his way downstairs to eat. Yevgeny tries to ask him what’s going on and why he isn’t at home but Fiona shushes him and coaxes both of them to eat.

 The next day, Ian gets up, takes a shower, and wakes Yevgeny up for school. The kid refused to go home and slept in the bed with Ian, something he hasn’t done since he was five and Ian just moved in with Mickey. He tells Fiona he’s going to the doctor after he takes Yevgeny to school. Fiona smiles and nods, handing Yevgeny and Liam their lunch. Yevgeny continues to try to ask Ian what’s going on in the car but Ian doesn’t say anything.

 “It’s about Dad’s soulmate coming back, isn’t it?” Yevgeny asks, looking out the window.

 “Yev,” Ian sighs.  

 “Dad sighed just like that when I asked him. Are you going to get a divorce because of Milton?” he continues.

 “Yev, please.”

 “I don’t want you to go! I want you at home!” Yevgeny cries. “What about the baby?”

 Ian sighs, pulling the car over to the side of the road. He closes his eyes for a second then opens them, turning to Yevgeny. “Yev, you know I love you and Dad more than anything. Nothing will change that. What Dad and I are dealing with is grown up stuff, okay?”

 “Then why aren’t you talking to him?”

 “I was down for a few days so I need to go get my medicine adjusted first. You remember why, don’t you?” Ian speaks slowly to the boy.

 Yevgeny nods. “Cause we don’t want you to be sad.”  

 “Right. So I’m going to fix that. Then I’m going to Mom’s appointment then I’ll talk to Dad, alright?”

 Yevgeny sighs. “Alright. Are you coming back home tonight?”

 “I don’t know.”

 Yevgeny just sighs in agreement, knowing he lost the battle. Ian continues driving, switching the radio on to help with the silence. When he pulls up to Yevgeny’s school, he kisses the boy and hugs him.

 “I love you so much, Yev,” he mumbles.

 “I love you too, Dad,” Yevgeny says before pulling away.

 Ian drives to his doctor, dreading the rest of the day. He talks over an hour with his doctor and gets a new prescription. He fills it out and heads back to another doctor’s office, this time for Svetlana.

 Svetlana and Mickey are both in the waiting room when he arrives. He greets them, kissing Svetlana on the cheek and quickly pecking Mickey on the lips.

 “Hey,” he says, sitting down next to Mickey. “How long have you been here?”

 “Only ten minutes,” Svetlana answers, looking at him. “You okay?”

 “Yeah, just came from Dr. Cunningham’s office,” Ian shrugs off his jacket, placing it across the chair arm.

 Mickey looks at him, frowning. “It’s not Thursday.”

 Ian is saved by the nurse calling them back. They don’t say anything to each other, avoiding eye contact. Svetlana gives them confused looks but doesn’t have time to answer them as they are led into a small room. Mickey and Ian stand awkwardly outside the room, waiting for Svetlana to change, not saying anything. Svetlana calls them in a few minutes later, glaring at them.

 “What is with you?” she asks, adjusting herself on the table to get comfortable.  

 “Nothing,” Mickey says too quickly.

 Svetlana continues to glare. “I see things, you know. Mikhailo says you have fight. I call bullshit.”

 Ian mumbles a fuck under his breathe, crossing his arms. He turns to Mickey, waiting for him to break.

 Mickey sighs, running his hand through his hair. Svetlana gasps when she sees his sleeve ride up and show his wrist. Ian pales, sinking into the closest chair.

 “No!” Svetlana grabs Mickey’s arm and pulls it so she can have a closer look at the infinity sign. Her eyes widen and she looks at Ian, her face softens. “No.”

 Mickey pulls his arm away and yanks his sleeve down. “This doesn’t concern you.”

 “Like hell it does!” Svetlana starts but is interrupted by the ultrasound technician.

 The fighting and the tension dissolves as soon as the tech finds the baby’s heartbeat. Ian and Mickey gather around Svetlana, grabbing her hands.

 “Wow,” Ian whispers.

 Svetlana nods, tears falling from her eyes.

 Ian looks at Mickey, smiling at him. He smiles back.  

 “Do you guys want pictures?” the tech asks.

 “Yeah, we need like twenty copies,” Ian jokes.

 “I can do ten,” the tech answers in a monotone voice.

 Ian grins, squeezing Svetlana’s hand.  

 Ian drives Mickey and Svetlana back to the house. Ian parks on the street and Svetlana is immediately out the door, yelling that she has to pee. Ian looks down at the steering wheel, picking at the small tear in the leather.

 “Why were you at Cunningham’s this morning?” Mickey finally asks. “And you better fucking tell me or I’m calling Fiona.”

 “I was down for a few days. It’s no big deal,” Ian says, looking up at him. “She changed my prescription. I’ll be fine.”

 “Of course you will be,” Mickey assures him. “Why didn’t you call me?”

 Ian raises his eyebrows and glances at Mickey’s wrist. Mickey yanks the sleeve down again.

 “Fuck, Ian, just let me explain.”

 “I really don’t want to hear it,” Ian mutters.

 “Ian, please,” Mickey begs. “Let’s go get some coffee or lunch and talk about this.”

 Ian shakes his head. “I can’t.”

 “Ian, come on. It’s not like that. Let’s just go get something to eat and I’ll explain.”

 “I don’t want any fucking food!” Ian yells, turning to him. “You’ll explain it to me right here, right now if it’s so fucking important to you.”

 Mickey lets out a sigh, rubbing his hands against his eyes then turns to him. “It was 11 maybe 12 years ago. Fuck, I don’t really remember. I remember that I got too comfortable with my fuck buddy and took him home one night. Terry was out of town on a run. I thought it was safe. Terry came home early, caught the guy balls deep in my ass. Almost killed him and me. Then he called Svetlana over and well, you know that part. Six weeks later, Terry was forcing us to get married and I had to do it. I knew my countdown was getting smaller but I ignored it and covered it up. Cause if Terry found out, I would be a dead man. I ran into Milton on the street one day, nothing special. The cover fell off and it immediately changed to an infinity sign. I panicked and took off running. I didn’t even get a good look at Milton. I just knew I had to put enough distance between us and have it change to zero. I did it to live, Ian.”

 “Jesus,” Ian mumbles. “Holy fuck, Mick.”

 “Terry’s death freed me but what you and I have, changed everything,” Mickey tells him, grabbing his hand. “I love you and I want you back home.”

 Ian looks down and pulls his hands away. “You never had a chance with Milton. How do you even know if I’m it for you?”

 “Ian-”

 “What if Trevor didn’t leave me? What if he came back? What would you do? You would do the same thing I’m doing,” Ian speaks for him. “And you know it.”

 Mickey sighs, bowing his head. He slowly gets out of the car, giving Ian one last look before closing the door.

 “Ow!”

 “You fucking deserve it,” Fiona yells, slapping him on the arm after he told her about his conversation with Mickey. “You and Mickey belong together.”

 “Milton’s his soulmate, Fi! And Mickey would do the same thing and you know it.”

 “Ugh, you two are idiots,” Fiona groans, standing up and going to the kitchen. “I mean, you have a family together and you are just throwing that away because the stupid universe says so.” She goes around the kitchen, pulling random things out of the fridge, mumbling angrily under her breath as she does so.  

 “I’m your brother! You’re supposed to be supporting me!” Ian yells at her, grabbing the remote.  

 “Yeah, well, I’m disowning you!”

 Ian chuckles, shaking his head as he flips through the channels. It’s been three days since his conversation with Mickey. He avoided him and his family by taking the night shifts for two days. When he came back home, Fiona ambushed him and demanded he tell her what happened. He’s regretting it now.

 A knock on the door breaks Ian out of his mindless TV. He sighs and stands up to go answering it. He yelps when Yevgeny tackles him in a hug, Svetlana at his side.

 “Dad! I missed you!”

 “Hey, bud,” Ian kisses the top of his head. “I missed you, too. I decided to work a few night shifts.”

 Svetlana gives him a look and pushes past him, a bag in her hand.

 “Uh, Svet?” Ian asks, letting go of Yevgeny. “What’s with the bag?”

 “You are also Yev’s dad. We will split time between here and Mikhailo’s until you two are back together,” she says, handing him the bag. “Yev and I will sleep in basement.”  

 “Uh,” Ian stares at her in confusion, not really knowing what to say.

 “Aunt Fiona!” Yevgeny yells when Fiona steps out of the kitchen. He runs to her, hugging her tightly.

 “Yev!” Fiona exclaims, squeezing him. “How’s my favorite nephew?”

 Yevgeny giggles, letting go of her and looking up at her “Aunt Fi, I don’t think Fred will like that.”

 “Well, Fred can’t talk yet. Once he starts, we’ll see who my favorite is,” Fiona winks at him and ruffles his hair. She turns to Svetlana and Ian, raising her eyebrows when she sees the bag.

 “We split time while Ian and husband work out issues,” Svetlana says. “We sleep in basement.”

 “Of course! We would love to have you,” Fiona immediately agrees, opening her arms to Svetlana and hugging her.

 And so Svetlana and Yevgeny split their time between Ian’s childhood home and his home with Mickey. Svetlana tries to bring up Mickey but Ian dodges the subject. Yevgeny begs for his dad to come home again but stops when Fiona talks to him. Ian isn’t sure what she says to him but it gets him to stop.

 Ian still sees Mickey at Svetlana’s doctor’s appointments. They talk about Yevgeny and the baby but nothing else. Svetlana glares at them both, mumbling how stupid they were. It makes the holidays awkward. Thanksgiving turns into a disaster when Carl starts yelling at Mickey about how stupid he is and that Milton needs to stop showing up at the Alibi during Mickey’s shifts. This causes Mickey to storm out and never come back. During Christmas, they both put up a front for Liam, Yevgeny, Fred, and Caroline. They pose for pictures, laugh and smile when they have to. It’s almost like nothing has changed. After bedtime though, Mickey leaves mumbling about dinner with Milton and Ian snaps back into reality.

 At Svetlana’s five month mark, she refuses to let them go to the doctor with her and makes them take Yevgeny to the park. Ian and Mickey agree but only because they are too afraid to tell her no.

 The park is awkward. Yevgeny runs around playing soccer with some kids while Ian and Mickey sit awkwardly on the bench. It’s almost too chilly to be out here but it’s good for the kids to drain some energy. Ian plays with his phone, trying to avoid any conversation. The last time he spoke to Mickey was the anniversary of their first data a few weeks ago when Mickey dropped off a small gift. He told Ian that he got a while ago and Ian should still have it even if he is still figuring things out. He sees Mickey on his phone out of the corner of his eyes.

 “Hmm, it says here the baby is about the size of a banana,” Mickey says, reading off a website. “And we should start thinking about cord blood options? What the fuck is that?”

 “What?” Ian looks up and leans over to look at the website Mickey is reading, brushing against Mickey. He hears Mickey suck in a breath at the contact. Ian has to stop himself from doing the same. “Oh, yeah, umbilical blood. People donate it or store it. It has stem cells that can be used to treat diseases. It’s pretty cool.”

 “And it says here that some people eat the placenta? What the fuck? We are not fucking doing that,” Mickey twists his face in disgust.

 Ian laughs, placing his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “Yeah, we can skip that part.”

 Mickey looks up, locking his eyes with Ian. They stare at each other, Mickey’s face soft and loving. Ian rubs his shoulder with his thumb. Fuck. He loves him so much. And misses him more than anything.

 “Dad!”

 The moment is broken by Yevgeny’s cry. The young boy is on the ground holding his knee and surrounded by his friends. Ian and Mickey run over, Ian’s paramedic skills taking over.

 “What happened? Are you okay?” Ian asks, taking hold of Yevgeny’s knee. The knee is bloody and bruised but seems okay. He makes Yevgeny move it a bit, holding it still while Yevgeny test it

 “I was trying to get the soccer ball away and I tripped over Jake,” Yevgeny explains, nodding to his friend that’s next to him.

 “Well it looks like you’ll live,” Ian teases, wiping the knee off but it just smears and doesn’t help. “But we should go clean it. My bag’s at Aunt Fiona’s house.”

 Yevgeny sighs, accepting that his soccer game is over. He says bye to his friends and follows his dads to the car.

 At the Gallagher house, Ian pushes Yevgeny to the kitchen and forces him in the chair. He kneels down and cleans Yevgeny’s knee as Mickey watches.

 “You sure he’s okay?” Mickey asks, biting his nails.

 “Dad,” Yevgeny hisses when Ian sprays alcohol on his knee. “I’m fine.”

 “He’s okay,” Ian assures. “But he may not be able to play soccer for a week.”

 “What? Dad, no!” Yevgeny starts protesting until he sees Ian’s grinning face. He huffs. “That’s not funny!”

 “It’s pretty funny,” Mickey chuckles, crossing his arms.

 Yevgeny pouts, looking away from them.

 “What happened here?” Fiona asks, appearing at the foot of the stairs. She shifts the laundry basket and walks over to Yevgeny and Ian. “Get in a fight, Yev?”

 “No, I fell while playing soccer,” Yevgeny pouts.

 “I’m sorry, bud, but it looks like your dad fixed it right up,” Fiona smiles, ruffling the boy’s hair. She walks over to the washer and places the basket on top, stretching her arms. “I thought Svetlana had her 20 week appointment today.”

 “Alright, champ, you’re all fixed up,” Ian tells Yevgeny, patting his knee and standing up. “Why don’t you go watch TV and rest up that knee?”

 “Okay!”

 The three adults watch him run into the kitchen and jump on the couch, turning the TV on.

 “God, I wish I had some of his energy,” Fiona mumbles, shaking her head. She turns to her brother and his husband, crossing her arms. “Why aren’t you guys at Lana’s appointment?”

 “She wanted us to take Yevgeny to the park,” Ian shrugs.

 “She’s trying to force us to talk,” Mickey mumbles.

 “Obviously it isn’t working,” Fiona rolls her eyes. “You two are idiots. You have a son out there who needs both of his dads. And a new baby on the way. What are you going to do when the baby is here? Ship it between houses? Fucking talk this out. If not for yourself then for the family you started.” She glares at them both before storming off into the living room.

 Ian hears her quietly ask Yevgeny a question and knows she is out of hearing range. He turns to Mickey. Mickey steps closer, trying to take his hand but Ian moves it.

 “Ian, come home, please. I love      you    ,” he whispers.

 “How’s it going with Milton?” Ian asks, trying and failing to ask without spite. Mickey looks at him shocked. “Svetlana and Fiona were whispering about it the other night. You’ve been meeting him for coffee. And Carl told me all the time he has shown up at the Alibi.”

 “He wants to get to know me. Mandy talked me into it. No idea why. She was pissed when she found out what happened,” Mickey shrugs. “It’s not going well. We have nothing in common.”

 “And Yevgeny? The baby?”

 “I won’t let him spend time with Yevgeny. He doesn’t come over to the house. And he knows about the baby.”

 Ian bows his head, avoiding eye contact with Mickey.

 “But Ian,      you’re     my family. You, Yevgeny, the baby, Svetlana, and all your crazy siblings. Not him. I don’t want him,” Mickey says. “I just want you. It’s been five months and it’s not working with Milton.”

 Ian shakes his head. “I can’t, Mickey.”

 “Ian-” Mickey starts but is interrupted by Yevgeny’s loud yell from the living room.

 Ian backs away from Mickey and walks into the living room. Svetlana is struggling to get her coat off as Yevgeny hovers around her. The young boy has gotten clingier as Svetlana’s pregnancy goes on.

 “Yev, let Mom get settled in before you bombard her,” Ian scolds, sitting next to Fiona on the couch. He notices Mickey leaning against the doorway, watching.

 Yevgeny backs away from his mother, sitting in between Ian and Fiona.

 “How’s the banana?” Mickey asks.

 “Banana?” Svetlana, Fiona, and Yevgeny all ask, each of them giving him weird looks.

 “The baby is the size of a banana,” Ian explains.

 “Great, now we’re doing fruits,” Svetlana rolls her eyes. Ever since she got pregnant, Mickey and Ian both have taken to call the baby “bean” or some other type of vegetable. Svetlana hates it. Svetlana pulls out an envelope and hands it to Fiona.

 Fiona looks up at her in confusion, turning the envelope over then widens her eyes when she realizes what it is. She squeals, jumping up, shaking the envelope.

 “What the fuck is your problem?” Mickey demands, watching her jump up and down.

 “It’s your baby’s gender!” Fiona squeals.  

 “What?” Ian and Mickey yell, huddling around Fiona.

 Ian tries to pull the envelope away but Fiona snatches it back.

 “No, we’re doing a gender reveal party,” Fiona tells them, sticking the envelope in her back pocket. “Debbie, V, Mandy, and I have been planning this for weeks and we are doing it and all three of you will like it.”

 “Shit, remind me not to get on your bad side,” Mickey mumbles.  

 Ian crosses his arms, glaring at his sister. “Fi, we told you that we don’t want to do that.”

 “Too late. Lip and Ella got one. Mandy and Derek got one. You three get one. Party’s this Saturday now that we have this,” Fiona grins, patting her back pocket.

 The party is not a small affair like Fiona told them it would be. Ian and Mickey arrive together with Svetlana and Yevgeny. The Alibi is packed; mainly with the Gallaghers. The bar is decorated with blue and pink balloons and streamers. Kev is handing out what seems to be pink and blue beer. There is a large cake in the back next to what looks to be a chocolate fountain that isn’t turned on. Debbie squeals when they walk in, running up to hug everyone. She is wearing a long, flowing pink dress with some ridiculous shawl thing.

 “Why aren’t you wearing pink or blue?” she slaps Ian on the arm, glaring at his grey shirt.

 “Debs, I don’t care. As long as he or she is healthy,” Ian sighs, explaining to her once more that he doesn’t care what the gender is. He honestly thinks these things are stupid.

 “Mickey and Svet are even wearing pink and blue!” Debbie points to Mickey’s very faded blue sweater and Svetlana’s pink sweater.

 Mickey tugs at the sweater. “Uh, no, this was the only thing that was clean.”

 Svetlana shrugs. “A girl will be nice but this was also clean.”

 “You guys are ridiculous,” Debbie rolls her.

 “So is that get-up,” Mickey mutters under his breath. Ian chuckles but covers it up with a cough, smiling at Debbie. Debbie crinkles her nose, smirking at him then walks over to her soulmate, Gina.

 Fiona comes running up, pulling them both in for a hug. Even she is wearing a blue sweater. “Please just humor us for a few hours,” she whispers.

 Yevgeny runs off to play with Liam, Jemma, and Amy while Fiona leads them to mingle. Ke forces them to take a colored beer. Ian takes blue while Mickey takes pink. Fred stumbles over and tries to climb up his uncles’ legs and Caroline screams until one of them holds her. The mingling is soon too much even after Debbie fixes them a plate full of both pink and blue food. Fiona decides they had enough and leads them to the center of the room. Carl and Lip carry an empty table and place it in front of them. V and Mandy follow with a cake and the fountain and place them on the table.

 “So, we went with a traditional gender reveal and a more Gallagher style,” Fiona tells them, placing a knife by the cake. “Flip on the fountain and you’ll get either pink or blue beer. We figured it was more your style. We tried to get Ella and Lip to do it with Fred but Ella liked the balloon idea.”

 “That’s fucking incredible,” Mickey laughs.

 “So you can do just the cake, just the fountain, or both.”

 Svetlana backs up from the table, letting them decide. Ian looks at Mickey, his hand finding its way around his waist. “I kinda like the Gallagher style.”

 “Let’s do it.” Mickey takes his hand and they both press the button of the fountain.

 Pink beer starts flowing from the fountain and cheers fill the room. Ian laughs, pulling Mickey closer. Mickey grabs his shirt, pulling his face close to his, his smile taking up his whole face. “It’s a girl,” Ian whispers in his ear. “We’re having a girl.”

 “Yeah,” Mickey whispers, pulling him closer.

 They enjoy the closeness for a moment then pull away when Lip yells at them to get a room. Mickey picks up the knife and motions for Svetlana. The three of them hold the knife and cut into a cake. They place the pink cake on a plate as Yevgeny runs up.

 “Hey, bud, how do you feel about a baby sister?” Ian asks.

 He shrugs and points at the cake. “Can I have some cake?”

 Mickey wordlessly hands him the cake, laughing as he runs off. “I take that as he doesn’t care.”

 Ian hums, wrapping his arm around Mickey’s waist.

 “He will when she gets here,” Svetlana answers, cutting herself a piece of cake. She hands the knife over to Fiona who starts cutting everyone a slice while V hands out more pink beer. Fiona has to stop Fred several times from grabbing a piece with his hands until Ella grabs her son and takes him away from the table.

 Ian just hums happily, looking back at Mickey. He stops paying attention to the party and focuses on his husband. He moves his arms to where they are around Mickey’s neck and Mickey’s arms find their way to his waist. “We’re going to be dads to a      girl    .”

 “Holy fuck. We are fucked.”

 “Yeah we are.”

 Mickey laughs, shaking his head. Then his face pales, his arms dropping. Ian gives him a confused look and turns to the door where Mickey is staring. Milton stands at the entrance with a small gift bag, smiling slightly. The door opens again and Ian’s world falls apart. The room grows silent, staring at the man who just walked in and is now standing by Milton. Ian backs away, bumping into the table. Fiona is at his side immediately, grabbing his arm tightly.

 “What are you doing here, Milton?” Mickey yells. “I told you that you couldn’t come.”

 Milton starts speaking but Ian doesn’t hear him or Mickey’s response. Fiona starts speaking to him, trying to get him to focus but it isn’t working. Lip steps in front of him and the man when the man starts walking closer to Ian.

 “Leave,” Lip spits.

 “I just want to talk to Ian,” The man reasons.

 Carl steps up and joins Lip, crossing his arms and showing up his prison tattoos. “Leave, asshole, or we’ll make you.”

 “What’s going on?” Ian hears Mickey’s voice and tries to focus on it but it’s too much.  

 Ian ducks out of Fiona’s grasp and runs. Runs out of the Alibi. He runs and runs until he’s in front of his house with Mickey. He scrambles to find his keys, his hands shaking as he tries to open the door. He manages to open the door, stumbling inside. The house is messier than usual but Ian doesn’t notice. He stumbles upstairs, into the empty room but is surprised to find it has been turned into a nursery. Ian collapses in front of the crib, breaking down.

 He doesn’t know how long he sits in front of the crib, crying. He hears footsteps downstairs and knows he should get up but he can’t. He sits there until the door opens.

 “Oh, Ian.”

 Ian feels arms wrap around him and he falls into their shoulder, breaking down even more. He stays like that for a long time. He finally calms down and pulls away, staring at Mandy.

 “Jesus, Ian,” she whispers, placing her hand on his cheek and rubbing it.

 He doesn’t talk, just lets her rub his cheek.

 “We were all so worried about you. Especially Mickey,” she tells him. “It was Milton that found Trevor and invited him. Mickey was livid when he found out. He kicked Milton and Trevor out and sent us to look for you. Yevgeny’s upset.”

 Ian shakes his head, leaning against her hand.

 “I know how upset you are seeing Trevor,” Mandy whispers. “He’s an ass and deserves to hurt for what he did to you. But you have Mickey now and Yevgeny. Your      family.    ”

 “Mickey has Milton,” he mumbles.

 Mandy laughs. “Mickey doesn’t want Milton. He almost punched him today for showing up.”

 “Then why did you tell him to get to know Milton?”

 Mandy hums. “I have my reasons but not for the reason you think. I don’t believe Mickey belongs with Milton but I needed Milton to stay for a little while.”  

 Ian shakes his head, moving to place his head on her shoulder. He doesn’t understand but he’s too tired to ask what she means. Mandy throws her arm around him and rubs his shoulder. More footsteps and voices are heard downstairs, Yevgeny’s loud voice among them. He hears Caroline screech and Mandy pulls away, standing up and gesturing for Ian to stand up.

 “Come on, your family is waiting,” she says, holding her hand out for him to take.

 Ian takes it and lets her up him stand up. They make their way downstairs and Ian is immediately engulfed by Yevgeny and Fiona.

 “Dad!” Yevgeny cries.

 “Ian, we were worried sick about you,” Fiona cries, rubbing his head. She pulls away, placing both hands on his face, rubbing his cheeks. “He’s gone. Mickey kicked him out.”

 “He’ll be back,” Ian mumbles, pushing Fiona away and pulling Yevgeny closer. He looks up and locks eyes with Mickey in the corner. He’s chewing on his thumb like he always does when he’s nervous and watching Ian closely. The rest of the Gallaghers and Svetlana stand by, watching him. Ian kisses Yevgeny’s head then pulls away from him. “I’m tired.”

 Mickey steps out of the corner, trying to speak up but Yevgeny beats him to it. “Stay here, Dad.”

 Ian gives Yevgeny a sad smile. “I just want to go to Aunt Fi’s, okay, Yev?”

 Yevgeny sighs and nods. He turns to his mother in the kitchen, pouting and giving her big eyes. “Can we go with him?”

 Svetlana looks at Ian then looks at Mickey. She raises her eyebrows at the two.

 “I’m crashing here,” Mandy speaks up, walking to stand by her brother. Derek follows his wife in solidarity, nodding with her.

 “Yeah, me too,” Carl steps up.

   Fiona nods and wraps her arm around Ian’s waist. “Okay, let’s head out. The gifts are in my car. We’ll drop them off later.”

 Ian sleeps the rest of the day with Yevgeny and Liam by his bedside. The next morning, Ian forces himself out of bed and to work. He gives Yevgeny a kiss, promising him that he’ll be home for dinner and they can drop the gifts off afterwards.

 His shift is long and boring with only a few calls. Sue tries to cheer him up but to no avail. She saw what went on yesterday and knows enough about Trevor to realize Ian needs space. Finally his shift is over and Ian heads back to his childhood home. He greets a sleepy Svetlana on the couch and heads to the kitchen to help Debbie, Yevgeny, and Liam with dinner before they head over to his house.

 They are in the middle of a very heated argument over tacos or spaghetti when someone knocks on the door.

 “Door, orange!” Svetlana yells from the couch.

 Ian sighs, walking out of the kitchen. “You’re lucky you’re carrying my daughter.” Svetlana just ignores him, her eyes on the TV. Ian rolls his eyes and opens the door. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 Trevor steps forward, forcing Ian back. “I just want to talk.”

 “I don’t want to fucking talk to you. We have nothing to talk about,” Ian spits. “You made your decision.”  

 “I was wrong for leaving you like that. For not trying harder but Ian, we’re soulmates,” Trevor forces himself inside and holds his wrist up to show off the now infinity sign.

 Ian glares at it, pushes him back. “No, okay? You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to come back here after being gone for almost ten years. I don’t fucking need you. I moved on. I’m happy. I have a      family.    ”

 “A family that is now broken because of your husband’s soulmate coming back in his life,” Trevor smirks.

 “How?”

 “Dad?”

 Ian turns around to see Yevgeny standing in the living room, watching him with big, sad eyes. Svetlana stands behind him with her hands on his shoulder, Debbie and Liam beside her.

 “Yev, go finish supper with Debbie and Liam. I’ll be there in a minute,” Ian tells him.

 “Are you and Dad splitting up?” he asks, his eyes widening.

 “Go in the kitchen, Yev. Please,” he begs, turning to Debbie.

 “Come on.” Debbie takes Yevgeny by the shoulders and leads him into the kitchen, Liam close behind her.

 “How dare you say that in front of my son,” Ian growls, stepping closer to Trevor, his voice lower so Yevgeny wouldn’t hear. “My family is not broken.”

 “Yet you stand in your childhood home instead of the home you share with your husband,” Trevor continues to smirk. “He’s probably with his soulmate right now.”

 Suddenly Trevor is slammed against the wall, Svetlana gripping his neck with her forearm. “You leave or I kill you.”

 “What the fuck?”

 “She may be pregnant but she can still rip your throat out,” Ian says, lining up with Svetlana. “Leave, Trevor. I want you to leave and never return. I don’t need you. I never have.”

 Trevor’s eyes widen in fear as Svetlana tightens her grip. He nods frantically until Svetlana decides to let him go. He is out the door in seconds and soon Ian can breathe again. He slides down on the floor, placing his head in his hands.

 “You did good,” Svetlana tells him, kicking his shoe with her feet.

 Ian looks up and smiles slightly at her. “Thanks.”

 “I’ll text Mikhailo. Tell him we come by tomorrow.”

 Ian sighs in relief, picking himself off the wall. He grabs her shoulder and squeezes it, mumbling another thank you before making his way upstairs. He immediately lays down and falls asleep, worrying he won’t be able to get up in the morning. He is woken up several hours later by footsteps downstairs and Liam at his door.

 “Ian?”

 He sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah?”

 “There’s someone downstairs and I don’t think it’s Lana or Yev,” Liam tells him, his eyes wide with fear.

 “Shit.” Ian jumps up, walking quietly down the stairs and grabbing the bat on the way. He pushes Liam behind him, slowly making his way to the living room. He holds the bat up and nods at Liam to turn the light on. Liam flips the switch and the person in their living room cusses at the light.

 “Mickey?” Ian slowly brings the bat down, giving his husband a confused stare. “What are you doing here?”

 Mickey stumbles backwards, bumping into the side table and knocking the lamp over. “Shit.”

 “What’s going on?” Fiona asks, stumbling downstairs, pulling a sweatshirt over her head. “Mickey?”

 “I need to talk to Ian,” Mickey says, picking the lamp back up. “Now.”

 “Jesus, okay,” Ian agrees. “Back to bed before we wake up Svet and Yev.” Ian pushes everyone upstairs, hanging the bat back up. He says goodnight to Liam and Fiona and leads Mickey into his room.

 Mickey sits on the bed and motions for Ian to join him. Ian hesitates for a second but then joins him. Mickey looks down at his hands, messing with the ring that’s been on his finger for three years now. “I need you to tell me about him.”

 “Mick-”

 “No, I need to know. We’ve been together for seven years, married for three. You need to tell me.”

 Ian looks down at his own hands, eyeing his ring. He couldn’t bear to take off.

 “Fiona told me that Milton showing up has been hitting you harder than you let on. I saw how you reacted when Milton told you I ran off. You ran out of the Alibi so fast Saturday when Trevor walked in. He did something besides just leaving you and I need to know what.”

 Ian sighs, finally looking up at him. He shifts his body to where he’s facing Mickey. “I met Trevor when I was 15. I was lucky. Most people have to wait longer to meet their soulmate but I was the lucky one. Jimmy had just left Fiona and we were all hurting. I was skeptical about Trevor at first but we started hanging out more and we were clicking. Then Monica came back soon after I turned 16. She was off her meds, again. And it got bad.” Ian pauses, taking a deep breath. “She- uh tried to kill herself on Thanksgiving. Cut herself in the kitchen. Cut her tattoo. Debbie and Carl saw it. We were up all night with them. After Monica left, something shifted inside me. I started skipping school, going out to the clubs. Trevor would join me and we would get so high, we would wake up the next morning not knowing where we were. Trying different drugs. Mixing drugs. I-uh don’t remember much of that year. I know it was a lot of sex and drugs. One morning, I woke up in the hospital. Fiona and Debbie were sobbing by my bedside. I knew something was wrong. Fiona admitted me to the psych ward for evaluation since I was still a minor but it was my idea. 72 hours later, I came out with a diagnosis of bipolar at 17.”

 He pauses again, reading Mickey’s face. Mickey reaches over and squeezes his hand, urging him to go on. “I didn’t take the diagnoses well and neither did Trevor. He encouraged me to go off my meds not even a month on them and I did. I didn’t like how they made me feel. It was like I was a shell of who I was. I moved in with Trevor. My manic episodes weren’t as bad this time around. At least I wasn’t on drugs. But one morning, I didn’t get out of bed. Fiona and Lip knew immediately my highs came to an end and I hit my first depressive episode. I don’t remember much except Debbie stayed by my side, Fiona would bring me food, and Lip helped me go to the bathroom and shower. Trevor, he-uh didn’t take the depressive episode well. He ran off while I was in bed. He didn’t come back until I was out of bed. I saw what this disorder did to my family with Monica and I couldn’t put them through that again. So I went to the doctor and went back on my meds. Moved back home, forcing Trevor to move back with me. Trevor didn’t like that decision, said he hated what I was when I was on my meds but he stayed. The adjustment period wasn’t easy. I had dropped out of school and didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I started focusing on that and getting myself on track. Trevor didn’t like that. One night, he blew up. Saying our whole relationship was about me and my disorder. We lived at my house, followed my rules, and focused on me. All this shit. I told him that my mental health was important but I guess it was too hard for him cause he left the next day. Didn’t say anything. He was gone before I woke up. Saturday was the first time I’ve seen him in over ten years.”

 “Jesus Christ,” Mickey mumbles. “I want to fucking kill him. He left you while you were adjusting to your meds? What a fucking asshole.” He runs his hands through his hand and tugs the ends. “Jesus, no wonder you were upset that I ran away from Milton.”

 “But, Mick, it’s not the same. You ran to save your life. I get that. Trevor ran because he was selfish and didn’t want a broken soulmate,” Ian says, bowing his head.

 Mickey places his hand on his cheek, forcing Ian to look in his eyes. “You aren’t broken.”

 “I know that now,” Ian whispers. He closes his eyes, enjoying Mickey’s hand on his cheek. “What about Milton?”

 Mickey scoffs. “Fiona and Mandy thought something was fishy with him since they met him. That’s why Mandy encouraged me to get to know him. She wanted to find out more about him. Turns out they were right about him being fishy. He lied. He joined that site years ago and it found me a year after we got married. The site apparently gives out a bunch of private information and he found that we were together so he didn’t come find me in person. He was also with someone. They were married for five years then his husband’s soulmate came strolling in. He left Milton about seven months ago and Milton thought he could do the same with me. So he came butting into our lives. He found Trevor and asked him to come back. Hoping it would ruin our lives.”

 “Jesus Christ,” Ian repeats Mickey’s words from his whole story. “Mandy found this out?”

 “Just his husband leaving him. Milton told me his grand plan.”

 “Our soulmates are a piece of work.”

 “They’re fucking assholes and liars.”

 Ian chuckles, leaning back into his hand. “I love you so much.”

 “I love you, too.”

 “I want to come back home.”

 “No one’s stopping you.”

 Ian grins, pushing Mickey down on the bed and hovering over him. He missed this so much.

 Four months later, Sonya Fiona Gallagher-Milkovich comes into the world, screaming her little lungs out. It’s late at night or early the next day, no one is sure. Neither Ian, Mickey, or Svetlana has slept in two days. The nurses clean baby Sonya up and hands her to Svetlana and the three adults start crying uncontrollably.

 Later when Svetlana is finally asleep, Ian paces around the small room with baby Sonya, bouncing her slightly like he did with Liam when he was a baby and more recently Fred and Caroline. Mickey watches on the couch with a big grin on his face.

 “Damn, you look good with my kid,” he says, leaning back on the couch and crossing his arms.

 Ian laughs. “Technically, she’s      my    kid.”

 Mickey scoffs and rolls his eyes. He motions for Ian to sit down and Ian does, placing their daughter on his lap as he unwraps her blanket.

 “What are you doing?” Mickey asks, holding her head.

 “I didn’t get a good look at her countdown,” Ian tells him, taking off Sonya’s mittens and holding her small right hand in his hand. “Hmm, looks like we have until she’s 21.”

 “Come on, man. After everything we’ve been through?”

 Ian wraps Sonya back up and pulls her close to his chest. “I just wanted to see how long we have to teach her that sometimes the universe is wrong. And she has a choice.”

 Mickey opens his mouth in surprise then nods. “We should tell her. About Trevor and Milton. And Mr. No Name.” He nods to a sleeping Svetlana. “Hell, even about Jimmy/Steve. Yevgeny knows and she deserves to know as well. That tattoo means nothing.”

 Ian grins, rocking her slightly. He kisses Sonya’s head and hands her to Mickey. Mickey immediately pulls her close and kisses her head.

 The door opens and Yevgeny steps in.

 “Dad!”

 “Shh,” Mickey and Ian shush me.

 “You’ll wake up your mom,” Mickey whispers.

 “Too late,” Svetlana mumbles, stirring. She sits up, groaning a bit. Ian is immediately at her side, putting another pillow behind her back and helping her sit back up. “Come, Yev.”

 Yevgeny climbs up in bed with his mother, curling into her side. Ian ruffles his head, grinning at him. Yevgeny smiles back at him.

 Mickey stands up and walks over with baby Sonya. “Want to meet your baby sister?”

 Yevgeny nods excitedly, reaching out for her. Ian smiles as he watches Mickey carefully place Sonya in Yevgeny’s arms. Yevgeny kisses the top of her head, smiling at her. Ian wraps his arms around Mickey, pulling him close, staring at his family.

 His family. Well part of his family anyway. He’s sure his brothers and sisters will be busting through that door at any moment. Mandy and Derek will be close behind.

 But these four are the family he fought so hard for. The family the universe didn’t want him to have. The family he loves so much. This moment with his family makes everything worth it.