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#I think I'm just gonna let myself accept
maybe-theres-hope · 2 years
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the-everqueen · 9 months
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for the AMA: what compels you most in a fictional character!
rage as a trauma response.
it compels me when a character spits in the face of god. when the response isn't "why did you let all this happen" but "how dare you let this happen." something about the assertion of agency in the wake of un-meaning. something about "there was never a Purpose, the point is what you make of it." this is undoubtedly because i was raised evangelical and continue to struggle with what i believe vs what i want to be true. pero also i think i was denied anger for so long (and even now my reflex when i'm hurt is to divert/repress/hide/sublimate anger) that it's cathartic for SOMEONE to get to be mad at the powers that be.
misogyny means it's usually (white) male characters who get these narrative arcs. this is evident in my blorbos: astarion from bg3, the corinthian from sandman, will graham from hannibal. (my immediate first thought was actually emilio sandoz from the sparrow, very literal autistic brain serving me well here lmao, what does it mean to be god's whore.) but my favorite female and genderqueer characters have this, too. saga anderson from alan wake 2 (LITERALLY tells both the in-game narrative force and the meta "fuck off, i'm done with other people writing my story"). essun from the broken earth trilogy (everyone who says they can't connect to her...i need you to examine yourself for misogynoir). vic from nos4a2. eurydice from hadestown. erica slaughter from something is killing the children. jade from my heart is a chainsaw.
(horror is obviously a huge medium for this...the final girl is a figure of righteous anger, the avenging angel, the woman who mows down the ultimate horror with a baseball bat or a butcher knife and she's right, she's in the right, she's the monster slayer, fuck you fear me.)
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b4kuch1n · 6 months
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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Random headcanon/au thing brought to you directly from my brain:
Swan hybrid Jack Rose
Like mans just straight up has wings (swan wings ofc, they're red with pink tips because i Do Not Care about realism but instead about color schemes and vibes). Little down feathers in his hair. Talons as nails. Perhaps even tail feathers? And definitely feathered ears
Like,,,, imagine the fluff potential y'all.
Or better yet... Imagine the angst potential
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candlebel · 7 months
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I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.
#I was interested. I wanted to get to know you.#I did not want validation. I only said it because you said it... I don't know why. I was susceptible.#I was blindly accepting certain things that you said about me. Judgement that you had for me.#I was under severe stress from my job at the time; while at the same time dealing with unresolved emotional trauma and very low self worth.#I was burnt out. Crushed... Completely.#I didn't want attention. I did not want you to cure my depression. I though I was just letting you know me. I wasn't aware I was oversharin#I tried... SO HARD to get over the things that triggered me and hurt me but I just couldn't...#I wanted to. I did everything in my might; I took it to therapy; I looked everywhere within me; to either get over it#or completely forget about you and stop caring at all; so things were ok and normal again; but it didn't go away...#I just feel so... unsafe... at the idea of talking again#I know I wasn't the best listener and I profoundly regret that.#I was not only thinking about myself like you said and I was aware of the effort that other's put; but I was afraid/resistant to PRECISELY#that cause of past events with other people. Because in some I was the one putting that effort and ended badly for me. Looking back#that was inappropiate of you because you felt too comfortable generalizing my past relationships and why in your head they failed.#“I cant help but feel you are looking down on people who” Stay away from me if you ever make a stretch like this again.#By “experiment” I meant that you don't know how a relatioship with somebody is gonna turn out until you go and try. That's all I meant.#I didn't want things to turn out this way. I'm sorry they did.#The effort I put for you may have been shit to you. But to me it was a lot. And I'm done taking judgement.#Altho I love my friends I still keep distance. I still can't completely help that. I can go months not talking to my BF.#You were my BF during my teenage years. I remembered you fondly. I still do.#I don't feel ready to talk again having to keep to myself interest that I might have. Related to trauma. I do not feel comfortable with tha#No I do not look at your blogs.#The day I said I was abused I had a panic attack right after that. That's mainly why I had to cut contact: I didn't want another one.#I didn't tell you because I didn't trust you to not say “talk to the void” again. I didn't trust you to want to hear about it. I didnt feel#safe with you anymore. Event tho we ressumed contact I felt that way the entire time.#I wanted to answer all the questions you had; I really did; until I couldn't stand it anymore.#And the day I removed you from discord... I know you probably had an awful day that day... I'm so; so sorry...#I'd like to one day be completely unbothered by assumptions and stuff cuz I know it's not your fault... You went through stuff too...#vent#stuff
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numiolaes · 2 months
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i wonder how many people would stop bitching about the writing for this show if they could've binged it all and had at least one scene per episode where someone stated everything explicitly like that one scene w/ satan in futurama
#pay no attention to the man behind the curtain / ooc.#i aim to never be petty on main but i'm letting myself have this one season 2 finale day. i'm sorry but i'm a firm hotd enjoyer.#i see so many dogshit and like willfully uncharitable takes across the web it's WILD#like the way people will bitch about it not being verbatim from a FAKE MEDIEVAL TEXTBOOK#or claim something is 'bad writing' bc they don't like it. or it's 'filler' bc it's slow.#is a pacing in this show just ???? yeah kinda lol but jfc.... get your head out of your ass#'why is alicent camping? that's so stupid' idk man she just lost all control of her life for the SECOND time#and they're ALREADY TALKING ABOUT WHORING HER OUT AGAIN. WHY WOULD SHE STAY? THEY DID A REFERENCE TO THE FAMOUS DROWNED OPHELIA PAINTING#WHAT TO DO YOU THINK SHE MIGHT'VE BEEN CONSIDERING????#'daemon would never betray rhaenyra!!!' YOU'RE TAKING DAEMON TARGARYEN AT HIS WORD?? WHILE THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS ARE READING HIM TO FILTH#daemon has CLAIMED he wanted things like the crown/total authority but REALLY he wanted his brother. he wanted acceptance.#WE'VE SEEN HOW SHIT HE IS AT RULING. HE HATES DOING THAT SHIT!!! HE DOES NOT WANT THE CROWN!!!! IT'S A SYMBOL!!!#'why is alys giving him these dreams?' SHE'S NOT !!! SHE LITERALLY SAID HIS FUCKING BED IS MADE OF WEIRWOOD DID YOU FUCKING MISS THAT?????#okay okay i'm gonna stop i'm stopping.....#i just think that people are still bitter about how got ended or have lost the media literacy for a weekly show#bc i genuinely see more dogshit takes about why the show is bad then i do like.... legit criticism which like... DOES EXIST KLJFDGSLK#negative cw
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birt-art · 1 year
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There's some great Elden Ring lore videos but where's my two hour long queer reading of Elden Ring you cowards !!
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I've come to the conclusion that when it comes to new characters I have the same attitude as a poorly socialized dog. I swear every time new content comes around and we get the news of new characters my instant reaction is to just. Dislike them. Hope they have little to no importance in the plot. Even when the design looks nice and the characters seem interesting. They're taking screen time away from my faves and my heart tells me to Bite
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rustbeltbabey · 4 months
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boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.
#mayave its imposter syndrome maybe its internalized transphobia but i dont think any gay man would ever date me bc i dont thibk any of them#would thibk of me as a man. idk. maybe this will change once i start like. PHYICALLY transitioning but i rlly feel like theres no hope 4 me#i feel like i will always be thought of as a woman for the rest of my life i feel like i will never pass as anything but a woman i feel like#i dont have any positive qualities i don't like a single thing abt myself i dont thibk im capable of loving someone im so distant w everyone#im so scared of phyically and emotional intimacy i feel like a burden i dont even know how to act like a man and i KNOW that thst isnt a#fucking thing i KNOW theres no right way of being a man i know that logically but still the fact that i grew up isolated from men and#that i rarely interact w them even to this day i have no male friends no male role models nothing im so scared im gonna like.#break social rules n shit which is RIDICULOUS bc once again there's no right way to b a guy or to preform masculinity and also im so early#in my transition no one even knows im a guy anways. but also im worri3d bc of thst no one will ever seen me as one unless i start conforming#to traditional masculinity and i dont know now to emulate it bc ivenonly ever seen it from afar i dont actually know what guys talk about#howbthey act around eachother what is socially acceptable or not i dont have a clue bc i dont ever interact w men and its like. fucking#stupid of me to even want to know bc it shouldn't matter to me BUT IT DOES and it makes me so anxious that i do not know how to emulate it#even if i wanted to i wouldnt know how bc i grew up in a fucking cult and i know so little men and i have terrible social skills n i#probably have autism which just. everything is compounded upon eachother n i feel like im going crazy i dont think ill ever be enough.#I hope i'm in a better mental place when i start t but even that im so fucking bad at doing things bc i have executive dysfunction that like#i havent even started tbe process or called thr clinic im just likem fucking spiraling. I hope my mindset becomes healthier once I start.#anwyss lol. do u guys like me? bc i feel like im unbearable n im trying not to be let me know if u do or not so i can try to cahnge ^.^#🪽
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pia-writes-things · 1 year
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I'm going on my first vacation alone (like, alone alone. Without friends or anything.) and I'm soooo anxious. Like for real I couldn't eat anything for breakfast, and I'm triggered by everything and anything. My stomach hurts and I think the capuccino I drank earlier is of course not helping...
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autistic-shaiapouf · 7 months
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Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by
#bc like. i'm getting by just fine. i don't have anything to be reasonably worried about#but also when i was a kid my father would break down my mother's paycheck and basically explain how broke we were#and that May Have Affected Me Somewhat#as well as just. the way you consistently see the advice to just save! don't get takeout! necessities! and i'm not intent on living like#a monk nor am i intent on being on that grindset for financial gain#it's like i don't intrinsically care but i have so many messages given to me about how i need to care a lot and it puts me in a weird spot#i am simultaneously standing still and moving at mach speeds#i mean right now i just need a safety net while in between jobs; after that i need to save up to move out of state bc the uh#political situation and upcoming presidential election don't seem very sustainable for someone like me anymore#they weren't to begin with but i don't wanna stick around to see how bad it's gonna get#but it's like. okay and then what? save for what? going back to school i guess? idk#i feel like i keep asking myself what i'm trying to accomplish and keep trying to force myself to have answers#here and now when i have to be okay with taking things one step at a time instead of having everything here and now#it's simultaneously fine and terrible and i am holding two conflicting yet equal truths#i feel i may have a clearer head once i leave my current job. i'm trying to look but nothing feels appealing given how#burnt out i already feel. i dread going back into my workplace and i fear it's showing to the patients and i don't want that#i want a month off to rediscover who i am as a person outside of getting yelled at in retail and then pick something back up#could be feasible. genuinely could be. i need to sort out the health insurance aspect but. that's lowkey the plan?#to construct a financial safety net and then slam on the breaks for a while; see if i can strike up a deal with the staff about me#coming in for specific tasks bc we already know i'm quick and efficient with the inventory so i do have a little leverage#you know what. this is getting some of it off my chest and i'm starting to feel confident again lmao#i won't be doing weekends starting either next week or the week after so that's a start! i just think i want everything done right now#bc i'm afraid i won't have the chance again but i will. i definitely will#i just need to let myself get to that point; it's just the immense drain from the register work and the Everything that comes with retail#also having to accept that it's okay to leave this; there's not something wrong with me like. ''not being able to handle it'' or w/e#no mindfulness or detachment could've saved me; it was shit and i'm hitting the bricks and that's all there is to it#i've been thinking a lot about it all lately bc it's what's most prominent in my life rn of course#idk. pondering. introspecting. as i am wont to do#anyways if you've read all this you're a real mvp and i am kissing you on the hand#shai speaks
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raazberry · 5 months
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vent ignore
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I wish I was stronger. This coulda been a new beginning for me. I coulda finally broken free n began a new life for myself, away from him, without him. Free.
Instead I fall right back at his feet beggin for him to explain it away, make me believe it wasn't all a lie. I don't care if it's true just make me believe it
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firewasabeast · 17 days
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prompt: im not gay, but my husband is.
(I loved those scenes in 911 and lonestar where they only wanted the straight white guy to work on them, so I think it would be funny happening with married, bi buck!)
“No, I don't want you touching me.”
They'd been sent on a call to a woman's residence. She had fallen in her driveway on the way to her car. From the moment they pulled up, trouble had started. She didn't want Hen touching her, wouldn't accept help from Chimney, and the second she spotted Diaz on Eddie's uniform she stopped him.
“Well, you're a straight, white man, Bobby,” Chimney said with a smile. “You wanna take the lead?”
“Wait,” Eddie put his hands on his hip, “do interracial relationships matter to you too?” he asked the woman. “Because, if so, Bobby's out.”
She looked around at everyone in a panic. “You!” she exclaimed when her eyes met Buck's. “You can do it, right?!”
“Yes, I am capable of placing a splint on your leg,” he said with no enthusiasm as Hen handed over the splint.
He bent down to get started but she held her arm out to stop him. “You're normal, right? You're not married to someone,” she glanced up at Bobby, “different, are you? Not gay or anything?”
“Oh, no ma'am, I'm not gay,” Buck assured her, before adding with a flash of his ring, “my husband is though.”
“Y- Your what?”
“My husband.”
“So you are gay?”
“Ma'am, please don't get him started,” Hen begged. “He will not shut up once he gets going.”
“There are actually some people that believe bisexuality doesn't exist,” Buck began, waving a finger to emphasize his point. The groans from the rest of the 118 didn't detour him. “It has been proven to cause mental health issues for people who identify as such, and in extreme cases-”
“Okay, okay,” Bobby interrupted, patting Buck's back a couple of times to get him to stop. “This lady is very clearly “in distress” and we should be focused on helping her.” He stared over at the woman, “If she'll let any of us.”
“Can't you call another team or something? One that isn't filled with minorities and heathens?”
“The 112?” Hen suggested.
Eddie shook his head. “All women crew today.” He looked down at the lady, “I'm guessing you wouldn't like that?”
“They're just not as capable as men,” she whined.
“143?” Chimney asked.
Buck stood back up. “With Captain Garcia?”
“No!” She yelled.
“217?” Eddie offered.
Buck perked up at that. He smiled at the lady on the ground. “You'd get to meet my husband!” he exclaimed. “He's working ground ops today. I could call him, give him a heads up?” He bent back down to the woman's level. “He is the gay one though.”
The woman groaned before pushing herself up and grabbing her purse, jerking away at Buck's attempt to help. “You know what? I'm just gonna take myself to the hospital,” she said as she started to hobble away.
“Say hello to Dr. Cohen for us,” Bobby said, sending her off with a wave. She let out one more angry yelp before getting into her car and slamming the door.
*****
Tommy had gotten home about an hour before Buck, already dressed in a white button down shirt tucked into black dress pants for dinner reservations they had that night.
When he heard the sounds of Buck's car door shutting, he headed to the front door and opened it, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Hey you,” he said with a smile.
Buck smiled back, dropping his duffel the second he reached the porch. He immediately wrapped himself around Tommy, surprising him with a kiss that elicited a moan from him.
“I got to call you my husband at work today,” Buck explained between kisses as Tommy gripped his waist. He led Tommy backward into the house, kicking the door shut behind him. “Twice.”
Tommy breathed out a laugh, pulling back just enough to look into Buck's eyes. “This was your first shift back after our honeymoon,” he reminded him. “So you lasted, what, twelve hours into your workday before mentioning me?”
Buck shook his head. “It was our first call of the day,” he informed him. “More like two hours.”
Tommy hummed, running his hands up and down Buck's waist. “Your whole team owes me double then,” he said before pressing a gentle kiss to Buck's lips.
It was Buck's turn to pull back this time. “What are you talking about?”
“They were taking bets on how long it would take for you to mention you were married. I said it'd be less than twelve hours, and you'd mention it more than once. Wait-” He paused, then gave Buck's waist a squeeze, “did you mention bisexual erasure?”
Buck sighed, his shoulders slumping. “It's an important topic, Tommy!”
Tommy simply smiled. “I hit the jackpot, Babe.”
“You placed bets on me?” Buck asked with his eyebrows furrowed.
“Mhm,” Tommy replied. He shrugged. “I won like five hundred dollars.”
Buck's eyes darkened at that. In one quick motion, he turned them and shoved Tommy against the door, pawing at his shirt to get it untucked. “That's so hot,” he moaned, smashing his mouth against Tommy's in a sloppy kiss.
They never did make their dinner reservations.
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ariestrxsh · 2 months
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╭══• ೋ•✧๑*<♡>*๑✧•ೋ •══╮
⚠️ content warning: ⚠️ smut, utter filth, threesome(ish), cuckhold!chris, dom!matt, use of toys, light elements of BDSM, slapping, spitting, choking, teasing, edging, praise, light humiliation, oral, fingering, masturbation, light fluff if you squint
✍️ Summary: ✍️ You and Chris have been dating a long time now, and you overhear him sharing a fantasy with Matt about wanting to watch you with another man. With Matt being the only person Chris trusts with you, he's the perfect candidate.
╰══• ೋ•✧๑*<♡>*๑✧•ೋ •══╯
"Matt, can I ask you something?" I woke up to my boyfriend Chris asking his brother with a shakiness in his voice. I must have dozed off. I was curled up on Chris' bed, and both Chris and Matt were sitting in front of me on the floor with their back facing me, playing fortnite. "You just did, idiot. But sure. What's up?" Matt responded. "Is it normal to like..." Chris started, but hesitation lingered in his voice. "Come on, spit it out, kid," Matt poked fun at him. I wasn't sure if I should alert Matt and Chris to the fact that I was awake or not. I kind of felt like I was overhearing an interaction I shouldn't be, but I didn't want to ruin the moment, and selfishly, I wanted to know what Chris was gonna ask his brother. "Is it normal to have fantasies about your girlfriend being with other men, sexually?" Chris confided in Matt. "I mean, it's not totally uncommon," Matt said, snickering at his brother's question.
My eyes widened as I heard their conversation. "Well, I really wanna watch my girlfriend with another man, but I don't know how to talk to her about it," Chris admitted. "Just ask her if she's into that kind of thing or if there's a guy she finds attractive that you guys would both trust enough to do that with," Matt suggested. "Well, there's one guy that comes to mind that I know she finds attractive that we both trust," Chris said, side-eyeing Matt. "Okay, great, then ask him," Matt replied. "I'm trying to, but he's not getting the hint," Chris said after a few seconds of silence. My jaw dropped.
Matt calmly set his controller down and looked over at Chris, "Are you saying you want to watch me fuck your girlfriend?" Matt asked, a smirk forming in the corner of his lip, and Chris couldn't tell if Matt was smiling because he was flattered or because he was about to start teasing him. "Dude, sorry. Just forget it. I can't believe I just asked that," Chris said looking at the floor, his face growing red with embarrassment. "Dude. You don't have to ask me twice. I'll fuck your girlfriend in front of you. That sounds hot as fuck," Matt was almost stunned by his own response. I felt myself growing wet while I listened to Matt eagerly say he'd fuck me. Chris looked back up at Matt, letting down his defenses.
"Just a few questions though," Matt said. "Sure," Chris answered. "Do you think she'll go for it? How do you know she's attracted to me?" "I mean, we've never directly talked about it. But the way she looks at you when she thinks no one's watching. I'm confident she wants you, bro," Chris said, smirking at his brother. Matt couldn't help but to smile as Chris stroked his ego. I didnt realize it was that obvious I was attracted to Matt, but then again, he and Chris looked even more similar than most other siblings. How could I not want them both? "Next question - what are the limits? Is there anything you're not okay with me doing?" Matt inquired. Chris mulled over the question, appreciating that Matt was actually taking this matter seriously and handling it with care. "No actually. I guess the limits would be up to her." "Last questions - are you sure? And have you thought about and accepted the consequences that could come from this decision?" "Yes, I have, and yes. I'm sure," Chris said confidently. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I was loving the sound of it.
"What kind of things does she like in bed?" Matt asked, looking over at Chris and biting his lip. "She loves being eaten out and fingered more than any other girl I've been with," Chris chuckled to his brother, and I felt my face grow red with embarrassment. "And she loves when you talk dirty to her, especially if you call her 'good girl,' I promise it'll drive her crazy," he told Matt over the sound of their thumbs tapping against their controllers. "She like it rough? Or do you think she'd want me to be gentle?" Matt inquired, letting his imagination run wild. "Definitely slow and gentle at first, but once she starts really getting into it, she'll let you slap her around. She loves toys and restraints and shit like that," Chris giggled, and Matt devilishly smiled back in response, "good to know." It felt like a bit of an invasion of privacy as Chris spilled all the secrets about what I liked in bed to his brother, and I didn't know why, but the humiliation turned me on a little bit.
Once their conversation came to a close, I finally rolled out of bed, curled up on the floor nestled into Chris' arms, and tried to act like I didn't just hear their conversation, but it was hard, because I could barely look them in the eyes, especially Matt. The sexual tension between the three of us was so palpable. A few times, I caught Matt hungrily staring at me out of the corner of my eye. The way he was looking at me made me feel like prey he was about to hunt, and this undeniably made me soak my panties even more. I really hoped the conversation Matt and Chris just had would come to fruition, but I didn't want to get too attached to the idea in case Chris was just thinking with his dick when he said that, and if he'd get cold feet. Or if Matt would back out and suddenly think it was too weird.
A few weeks had passed, and I had pretty much given up on the fantasy that Chris would share me with his brother when he didn't mention anything to me about it. But one day, he was over at my house, and we were cuddling on my couch, watching a movie called Deep Water. Neither of us knew what the movie was about when we turned it on to watch it, but it was a really hot movie with elements that I knew Chris was wrestling with in his mind. "I have to be so honest, babe. This shit is turning me on so bad," Chris admitted in a sultry voice. "Oh yeah, why's that?" I asked, egging him on.
"Actually, I wanna talk to you about something," Chris started, pausing the movie. I gave him my full attention, taking in the sight of him, his soft, disheveled brown hair, his blue eyes, his pouty lips. "Would you ever let me watch another dude fuck you?" He finally articulated after a few moments of heavy silence, avoiding eye contact with me. "W-what?" I asked, playing dumb, hoping he would elaborate more. "I know it's a weird question. I've just been having a lot of fantasies lately. And I don't know how I'll actually react in the moment if it happens, but sometimes I think about you with another guy, and it really gets me going," he admitted, finally gaining the confidence to look up from the floor. "I mean, I've always thought a threesome with another guy would be hot," I confided in him. "Yeah? Me too. I don't know why the idea of another man getting you off and you getting him off.. it just does something to me," Chris whispered as I watched a look of desire overcome his expression. "It would be fun to make it into something more than just a fantasy," I replied, fiddling with the rip on the thigh of my jeans. "I would fucking love that," Chris said, pulling me closer to him by my waist and planting kisses on my cheek and my forehead. "Any guys you have in mind?" Chris wondered. "Just whoever you trust the most. But obviously I have to find him attractive," I responded, knowing Chris and I both already had Matt in mind, but I was too afraid to say his name on the off-chance it might hurt Chris to hear me confirm my sexual attraction to his brother. "I know the perfect guy, but it's gonna be a surprise," Chris sneered back.
A few days later, Chris invited me over. "Wear your sexiest lingerie underneath your clothes, baby. I've got big plans for you tonight," he growled into the phone. I picked out a baby pink balconette bra with lace trim and bow and a matching thong. I felt so sexy as I stood in front of the mirror, imagining how Matt would react the first time laying eyes on me like this. I threw on some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, and I drove over to Chris' place.
After parking in the driveway, I texted him that I was there and let myself in through the unlocked front door. The house was quiet, and although Matt's car was in the driveway, I didn't see him anywhere. "Chris?" I called, as I pushed open his bedroom door. Before me was the most romantic gesture from Chris I'd ever received before. There were about a dozen lit candles in the room, there were rose petals on the bed, and he had all my favorite toys out - bed restraints, a feather tickler, and my vibrator I kept at his place. My eyes lit up as I took in the sight of it all, the best part being my gorgeous boyfriend sitting at the foot of the bed in the warm glow of the candlelight. He was in nothing but a white tank top and dark green boxers. "Chris, this is incredible," I said in a soft voice.
Chris stood up from the bed and made his way over to me. He caressed my cheek with his hand and kissed my lips. "Take off your clothes, baby. There's someone in the other room, and he requested to see you in your best lingerie and tied to the bed when he comes in," Chris said, licking his lips while he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it up over my head. "Oh, he's gonna love seeing you in this, darling. It's gonna drive him crazy, I promise," Chris gasped, running his finger seductively over the neckline of my bra where it met my bare skin. He then tugged at the waistband of my sweats and peeked down to see what panties I was wearing. "Good girl. You understood the assignment perfectly. He's gonna cream himself when he gets a load of you," Chris gassed me up, pulling my sweats down and helping me out of them one leg at a time. He picked me up, gripping my ass while I straddled his waist. Our lips embraced one another's in a succession of deep and passionate kisses.
He carried me over to the bed and laid me down. "If at any point you feel uncomfortable and you want to stop or take a break, just use our safeword. I told him what it is too, so I promise we'll take good care of you and we won't force you outside of your limits," Chris whispered tenderly to me while he restrained all four of my limbs to the bed. I nodded. Chris' words were sweet and thoughtful, and I felt so safe knowing I was in good hands tonight. "Are you ready, baby?" He asked, looking into my eyes. I bit my lip and whispered, "So ready."
Chris ducked out of the room for a moment, and I heard him say something along the lines of, "she's ready for you." I could hardly contain my excitement as Chris walked into the room with Matt trailing behind him. I tried to look surprised. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of black boxers and a silver chain around his neck. His eyes lit up as he took in the view of me tied to the bed in my lacey pink lingerie. "Wow, ma, you look so pretty for me. This is exactly what I had in mind," Matt said to me in a hushed voice while he climbed onto the bed. He crawled between my legs, and his lips met mine. It felt a lot like kissing Chris, but he was a little more gentle, and he took his time a little more slowly, like he was savoring the taste of my lips. Matt pulled away from the kiss and looked deep into my eyes. "Chris is such a good boyfriend, wanting to make you feel as good as possible. He's so sweet for sharing this with me," Matt mumbled, while he took his fingers and started tracing circles around my clit through my underwear. I let out a soft whimper. "These are your favorite toys, huh?" Matt inquired, pulling his hand away and reaching for the feather tickler that was next to my vibrator. I watched as he guided the feather toy across my chest, the same way Chris had done with his fingers earlier. Matt smirked at me as he pulled down the cup of my bra, exposing my hard pink nipple. He started teasing it with the feathery instrument, and I gasped as he grazed over a sensitive spot. I looked over at Chris who was sitting at the foot of the bed, studying the way Matt was exploring my body. His facial expression was one of a mix of jealousy and desire, but I could tell the desire had a stronger hold on him.
Chris' eyes met mine and we exchanged a smile of approval as Matt took the feathery lead and trailed down my body with it. He started tickling the insides of my thighs with it, and I felt my back slightly arch as he drew it over the front of my panties. Chris' eyes kept dancing between my facial expressions and the way Matt was taunting me. "Holy fuck Matt. She loves it," Chris whispered, his eyes sparkling with amazement at how slow and controlled Matt's movements were. And Chris was right. The way Matt was teasing me was perfect, just the way I liked. Slowly, gently, sensually. After teasing me with the feathers for a little longer, Matt nestled his head between my legs and pulled my panties to the side. "Look at that pretty, pink pussy," Matt complimented me. "Can I taste her?" He asked me, looking up at me hungrily. I bit my lip and nodded.
Chris moved from the foot of the bed to my left. He pushed a few strands of hair out of my face and smoothed them down, while his eyes followed the way Matt gently planted a kiss on my sensitive bud. He kept his tongue soft and flat as he grazed my folds. I loved having my pussy licked, and the only thing better than that was Chris intently watching as Matt teased me with his warm breath against my aching core. "Do you like that?" Chris spoke hoarsely into my ear. "Mhmmm," I hummed in response to Chris' question as well as to Matt's tongue. Matt flicked his tongue across my clit a little more fervently, and finally he closed his lips around it and started gently suckling. "That looks like it feels amazing," Chris said, pressing the side of his head against the side of my head watching his brother from my perspective. Matt looked up at both me and his brother, knowing we were loving watching him and smiled deviously at us. "You like the way I eat your girlfriend?" Matt seductively asked his brother, lifting his face from between my legs to show Chris how wet his face was from drowning in my juicy center. Then he continued, swirling his tongue in faster circles around my bundle of nerves. Chris slowly nodded.
The way Matt was working his mouth had me starting to come undone a bit. I tried to hold back some whimpers, but they were stronger than I was. I felt myself tugging at the restraints, cutting off circulation in my wrists, and had my feet not also been tied down, I would have been bucking my hips against his face. Instead, I pathetically struggled to chase his tongue, unable to move the way I wanted to, which had me coming undone even further. Matt could tell exactly what he was doing to me, and he relished in it, loving that the sounds and the writhing beneath him were all his fault.
Before I could finish on his tongue, he abruptly stopped and started lining up his middle and ring finger with my entrance. He looked into my eyes as he pushed them in, curled them upward, and started making a "come here" motion with them. I gasped at how good it felt. I could feel myself gripping him involuntarily, and while he penetrated me, I felt his thumb reach for my bud, and he started making slow, circular motions. "How does that feel, sweetheart? You like the way you're all wrapped around my fingers?" Matt cooed, knowing there was a double entendre in his words. "Yesss," I hissed through my teeth. Chris took my left nipple into his mouth and started carressing it with his tongue, pulling a few more stifled whimpers from my mouth. I loved being shared by them. Although they were both being so slow and gentle, I felt myself starting to get close again.
I didn't know if Matt could tell I was getting close and he was trying to draw it out for as long as possible, or if his timing was just coincidentally impeccable, but right before I could chase my climax, Matt removed his fingers, and looked up at his brother. "You wanna taste?" He asked, reaching out his hand that was glittering with my fluids. Chris grabbed Matt's hand, and while looking into his eyes, he put Matt's two fingers all the way into his mouth and slowly sucked them clean, letting out a soft moan as he did so that vibrated against his brother's fingertips. Matt stared at his brother glossy-eyed, and his lips slowly parted as he felt the hum of the noise Chris made send an electric feeling throughout his body. Matt pulled his hand away, realizing how awkward it was that they had just done that, but they quickly laughed it off, and they blushed at whatever had come over them, but I, on the other hand, nearly came at the sight of Chris cleaning me off of Matt's fingers.
Matt filled me with them again, fucking me at a faster pace this time. My body was aching. My wrists and ankles were so sore from being digging into me as I struggled against them, but I loved it, the sensation of pain and pleasure blurring together and creating a chemical reaction inside of me that was bound to make me explode sooner or later. I convulsed again as Matt brought me right to finish line, and then stopped again.
I let out a desperate sigh, "Matt please," I sobbed as he teased me. "Jesus Matt. I brought you into the bedroom with us to make her feel good, not to torture her," Chris chuckled. "Oh, trust me, she feels good. And by the time I get her there, she'll be feeling better than anyone's ever made her feel before," Matt said, reaching for the vibrator next. "Hey-" Chris started defensively. "Shut up, idiot. This isn't the time to argue about who makes your girlfriend cum harder. Just let her enjoy it," Matt whispered, turning on the vibrator and resting it up against my favorite spot, and I cooed in response.
"Hey baby, you ever think about me when you use one of these on yourself?" Matt's lip curled up in the corner as he questioned me. My eyes widened, and I looked to Chris for some kind of approval that he wouldn't take it personally. "It's okay, darling. Just be honest unless you don't wanna answer," Chris said, running the back of his hand along my cheek, sensing my discomfort. I looked back down at Matt, who was awaiting a response. I bit my lip and shook my head yes at him. "Mmmm, good girl. Good answer," Matt murmured. "Tell Matt what kinds of things you think about him doing, princess," Chris pleaded, stroking his length through his boxers. He wanted to hear just as much as Matt did.
My eyes scanned both of their expressions, hanging onto my every last word, but a shyness overtook me. My face started burning with shame as I pictured in my head all the times I'd imagined Matt pinning me down, choking me, spitting in my mouth, slapping me, pounding my pussy while I'm hogtied. The stark difference between those violent fantasies and the soft gentle reality unfolding in front of me made me feel a little embarrassed to admit them. I shook my head no and began avoiding eye contact with both of them. "Awh, sweetheart. You're getting all shy on me," Chris said, tilting my head towards him with a finger beneath my chin. I could still feel the hum of the vibrator nagging at me, begging me to come undone while the boys watched me intently. Just like every other time, Matt stopped.
He stood up and pulled down his underwear, his cock springing out of them. I could tell he was extremely hard, and there was a shiny coat of pre-ejaculate covering his swollen tip. I admired how thick it was and how there were a few veins that ran up his shaft, like a big red-eyed monster I couldn't wait to fall victim to. "I bet you can't wait to have him in you," Chris whispered to me, kissing my neck. "You don't have to tell me what you think about when you play with yourself," Matt told me as he climbed onto the bed and hovered over my emptiness with his incredible member, "but if you tell me, angel, then I'll be able to oblige." He let out a grunt as he pushed himself into me, and I gasped. He slowly pumped in and out of me, allowing me to get used to his girth while his chain lightly swatted me.
Chris was next to us, removing his shirt, taking himself out of his underwear, and making soft sounds and sultry faces while he stroked his cock. "I like to think about you spitting in my mouth and choking me and pulling my hair and fucking me absolutely mercilessly," I whispered while I was looking into Matt's eyes. I watched Chris' eyes widen as he continued furiously pumping his hand up and down.
Matt's face changed to a darker and more deviant expression. He placed his hand on my neck, pushed me down against the bed, and said, "Open up, darling." He spat directly into my mouth, and the taste of his saliva, mine, and taste of my pussy lingered on my tastebuds. He did it again, relishing in how much I loved it. I felt another stream of his spit land on my tongue, and he smiled at me as he started to tighten his grip around my neck. He choked me hard while he started fucking me at a slow but insanely powerful rhythm. Every time he bottomed out inside of me, slamming against my walls, I let out a stifled yelp due to his tight hold on my throat. He removed his hand from my airway and smacked me across my face hard. "Yeah, you like that?" Matt grunted while he fucked me harder, and I felt another sting as he slapped the other side of my face. My eyes rolled back in my head and I smiled.
Chris was still fervently jacking himself off while his brother brutalized me in front of him. The boys had a similar expression on each of their faces, heavy bedroom eyes, slack-jawed, lips slightly parted enough for sweet whimpers to escape them, and both enamored by the way my eyes were tearing up with pleasure.
I was the first to reach my climax, considering Matt had been teasing me more than I'd ever been teased in my whole life. My long-awaited orgasm hit me like a train, my consciousness expanding beyond time and space until I was utterly lost in a cascading wave of ecstacy. I had no control over my body. I trembled and pulled at the shackles that were holding me to the bed, breaking some of the skin on my wrists. My eyes rolled back so far into my head I forgot I had them to begin with, and my neck fell limp so that my crown thumped away at the headboard every time Matt thrust into me after that. My whole body relaxed into the bed, as much as it could while I was still tied to it. "Oh my fucking god Matt," I said breathlessly.
Chris came a few seconds later with his hand curled around the engorged head of his cock, milking it vigorously while he threw his head back and let out a sweet-sounding moan. The first spurt of cum shot up nearly two feet in the air and rained back down on him, covering his stomach, his chest, and a drop of it landing on his bottom lip. With every pump, he'd shoot out another load not nearly as powerful as the last until he'd slowed his hand to a standstill and the last spurt of fluid was just slowly dripping down his hand and his shaft. I had never seen Chris cum like that, and I burned the sight of him into my brain.
Matt's orgasm followed closely behind, and for the few minutes after Chris had finished, he watched in envy as his brother railed me senseless. Finally, as Matt was looking into my eyes, his brow furrowing, and his face contorting into an "O" shape, he pulled himself out of me. A millisecond later, he was stroking himself, busting all over my entrance. He moaned my name and rolled his eyes into the back of his head while he finished. He was smiling like an idiot, panting, and looking down at the mess he'd made on my pussy with great satisfaction.
"Holy fuck," Matt managed to get out breathlessly. "I've never been able to make her cum like that," Chris said with a harsh edge of jealousy. "You could. Easily. I've heard you guys fooling around before. You definitely satisfy her. You just gotta edge her more. You build her up, you break her down, do it over and over again until she can't take it. I'll show you how sometime if you'd like," Matt offered.
Chris' stomach turned, not sure how to wrestle with the cognitive dissonance he was experiencing of loving how I came all over Matt's cock and hating how I came all over his cock, and wondering if I was even still his after that, or if I was going to fall in love with Matt. Chris looked down at the floor, defeated and wondering how he could feel two completely different ways simultaneously. Matt untied me from the bed, and I immediately went over to Chris and threw my arms around him.
"Thank you for letting me experience that. Thank you for being so secure in our relationship that you'd share me with someone to enhance both of our pleasure. I'm so in love with you," I said, pulling him into a kiss. Chris perked up hearing this. "I love you too," he whispered back. "Let's do something tonight. Just the two of us," I said smiling.
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colettecrybaby · 1 month
Text
my mind really got me asking myself the question "what's so important about the 3D?" And now I'm like WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT THE 3D?
A shifting rant/pep talk brought to you by Colette.
So I'm just gonna ask the question again. Why is the 3D so important to you? I won't elaborate, genuinely ask yourself, sit with yourself and think about it. Why is it so crucial that you hold onto it? Why does it effect you that much?
You're the creator of the universe around you and this little mime box that you are holding yourself in is making you doubt that? Why?
You could close your eyes for a second, tell the 3D what you want and then see exactly what you want to see. There is nothing stopping you from quite literally just blinking and being where you want to be. You could be on Mars right now, or Hogwarts, or the place you've always wanted to call home.
But why are you relying on the 3D for confirmation? Aren't you tired of wanting? What about getting? Getting what you want, or maybe just accepting it's yours. Because it is.
Just go and get what's yours, stop letting literal objects get in your way. The 3D is an object that you are letting disappoint you. You are being disappointed by a mime. A mime who is copying everything you say, so say good stuff before it starts annoying you.
Love, Colette🥭🥥
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