#I think I might need more thinking time but I got closer to something x'D

[mitamicah]

I made myself an excel trying to grasp transport time and price for different routes and I think I've come to the conclusion that if I want to go for 3 concerts the best will be to either go for Berlin-Cologne-Hamburg or Hamburg-Frankfurt-Munich

[amethystina]

head in hands i love your updates so much. I'm on the verge of kidnapping gaon myself to piss yohan off so they finally sort their shit out but at the same time the slow burn is so delicious. I absolutely love your writing.

On another note, I read that you were struggling, and firstly I'd like to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. Nothing we can say about grief will make it easier but you're a strong person who I'm sure will overcome this as well. You the absolute world and this year just hasn't been kind to you, so I really hope good times are coming for you love. hugs and prayers 💗

I mean, while kidnapping Ga On would certainly cause something to happen, I'm not sure it would help since the ball is kind of in Ga On's court at this point x'D He's the one who needs to get a move on.

So I think you'd be more successful if you kidnapped Yo Han?

But yeah, we're going to be suffering through the slow burn for a while still. Ga On is getting closer to doing something about his terrible decision to reject Yo Han, but he's going to need another couple of nudges. But I'm going to make sure he gets them, don't you worry ;)

Thank you so much for your concern 💜 And yeah, there's very little one can say that will actually make grief easier, but it's also a part of life that we just have to learn to deal with. And, as terrible as it may sound, I've had a lot of practice. Though I will admit that this time it hit me pretty hard. Because, to me, there are different kinds of grief. Sometimes, you will grieve a relationship you lost long before they died — like with my grandmother — or the relationship you never got to have — like with my granddad, who I was never that close to, sadly enough — or you mourn the relationship you did have and the fact that it has now come to an end.

This is the third kind and, for me personally, the worst one. Because there are so many fond memories to remember and also missed opportunities to mourn, knowing that you'll never make any new ones. It's like twice the grief.

But I'm doing my best and I have no doubt that I'll make it through this as well. I always do. Next week is going to be a bit rough, though, since I'll be going to the funeral. Which requires some travelling that I might not actually be well enough to undertake, but I'm just going to ignore that.

Thank you again for the compassion and the kind words. I'm so grateful to know that there are so many people who care about me. Thank you 💜