#I think I covered a lot of ground there
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thinking about the implications of THIS THING
long post, just exploring the question of what changes turbo made to his own code to become king candy.
in this scene, king candy moves the "medal" asset from the trophy pot to his own node. when he does so, it materializes and appears around his neck.
if that implies that every asset within his node acts upon his code in some way, we can quantify the changes he's made. each asset represents a change. over 15 years, he's accumulated this many modifications, integrated this many assets into his own code. since the "medal" asset's symbol associates directly with the physical medal object, it can be assumed that each symbol also accounts for a physical object*.
in this close up, we're offered a glimpse into what assets he's integrated into his node. we see:
assorted candy symbols. visible in the image are jawbreakers, wafer cookies, pastries, candy canes, cookies, ice cream cones, lollipops, chocolate chip cookies, and slices of cake. not going to attempt to count these, as i believe they function as space filler on the part of the animators. attention to detail can only go so far, even in a wonderfully detailed movie like WIR. conversely, we could interpret the assorted candy symbols as Turbo filling his node with random junk. you decide!
NINE cups. they are of course stylized and simplified, but their distinctive shape belongs to glasses used for brandy, sherry, or liqueur. out of all the symbols in the image, they occur most often. their placement close to the action front and center in the frame further highlights their importance. Alcoholic!Turbo is canon!
four symbols (demarcated with a question mark),which look like.... puppies. four visible here. the animators decided he needed 4 puppies.
and 2 race cart symbols (circled). pretty self explanatory, but still a cool and thoughtful addition. it would make sense that he'd want multiple race carts!
*it isn't depicted here, but i'd assume some of the assets would also have to do with his physical appearance, since each node is supposed to be a representation of the raw data of the game. not to mention, the "medal" node was not originally from Sugar Rush, it was from Hero's Duty. that means external assets can be integrated into his node. it's also explained in the movie that things like programmed memories can be affected by modifying nodes. altogether, we are given the sense that pretty much anything can be changed or added via the game's code.
what else did turbo add to his program? what did he change? what did he lose?
#wreck it ralph#turbo wir#turbotastic#there's a lot more to talk about but i don't want to go over ground that's already been covered (thanks random for the jumping off point!)#also worth mentioning i know alcoholic turbo is already an accepted headcanon#which makes me think that the point of the cup assets has already been noticed. but it was a cool detail to discover so i left it in here#forever in awe of the amount of detail in this movie#...im having fun ok...
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yumehara and kuboyasu both write in a diary but yumeharas is lovingly and carefully decorated with adorable stickers and she writes in beautiful frilly handwriting with glitter pens (her handwriting actually sucks but she spends hours making this diary look pretty) while kuboyasus is filled with messy vent writing, ripped pages, and messy doodles, and the cover is fingerpainted on
#now trade#chiyo teaches aren how fun it is to scrapbook and make cute journals#aren teaches chiyo how good it feels to vent write/draw#i like to think that teruhashi is the middle ground to this btw#she has this diary that has the cutest cover with lots of stickers#but the actual pages of the diary are an absolute fucking mess of horrible handwriting and venting#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#kuboyasu aren#yumehara chiyo#yumeyasu#potentially#bonding moment#meows post
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ELLIE WILLIAMS in SANTA BARBARA
[the last of us part two]
#me deciding to get back into gif making after 8 years instead of applying to grad jobs! priorities!#something something something hot lesbians covered in blood & moaning something something#up to santa barbra on my grounded run and I am thinking lots of thoughts#Ellie Williams#the last of us#tlou2#tlouedit#elliewilliamsedit#tlou2edit#*#elliewilliams*#VG
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I know it’s normal to his character but there is something so sick and twisted about how in CC we see Leo using white lies to joke. It’s a one-off joke but these lines:
OH THEY DROVE ME INSANE. Leo is so good at acting and manipulating and gaslighting, and he uses his skill with it so gently with Donnie most of the time, especially because Donnie is worse than picking up on subtexts/takes people more at their word than most. Like—Leo is so careful about not leaving Donnie out of the joke, and in turn Donnie trusts Leo to make it so he can always tell when something is a lie. It’s like Leo has a blade and is gently tapping Donnie with the flat end to make him laugh, and Donnie doesn’t even twitch because Leo’s never so much as nicked him.
And then Leo tells him he’s crazy. He’s hysterical. He’s being weird. You’re making things up and losing your tools. Yeah you really were in the wrong “but thanks ilysm.” You were only in the closet for a few hours. God you’re terrible at taking a joke. Leo stabs him over and over again and Donnie doesn’t even realize it because Leo’s never so much as nicked him so Donnie doesn’t realize he was being cut into until it was killing him. Just. Oohhh Donnie trusted him entirely with his little heart and Leo squeezed until it stopped moving.
YES THIS!!!!!!! and then in ME leo chooses to lie to him again, even though it's something he's so guilty about doing because he was the main one responsible for the gaslighting (he was the ringleader of it all, something about how he already fell into a leadership position before it was even put on his shoulders being so apparent here, especially as someone who motivated/hyped the others up,,,,,) because he thinks he's out of options, that its the only thing he can do to make things a little better. he's perpetuating the cycle he's trying to break out of as a self-fulfilling prophecy; does the intent even really matter when its so clear the effect is going to be the same? was there any right answer?
even though its definitely a cognitive distortion created from the tragedy of what happened, maybe leo did have somewhat of a point when he said donnie trusted him too much. he laid out the means to his own undoing on a silver platter and refused to take it away even as he bled out on the floor; for such a complicated person, donnie makes his love so simple and unconditional, and that's fine, of course, as long as nobody goes out of their way to hurt him--- that's how the family's always functioned, hasn't it? as terrible as raph was under the effects of the curse, he was correct when he said that things only work in their family when everyone plays their part. its interesting how easy it is to push over one domino and let the rest fall, how fragile peace can be with just one slip-up, one mistake... it almost reminds me of something else that happened =)
#ask#canary continuity#what i meant when i said the curse did have a point to it#an attempt to teach a “lesson”#anyways GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT youre very correct abt all of this#honestly in CL leo was probably my favorite to write because he kind of slayed with how horrible he was.... slithery little bastard#he has a lot of good traits to twist into a villain i love him for that#leo knows how to think twenty steps ahead and thats why he fires all of the first shots. its why he gets away with open cruelty so early on#the others bide their time but leo takes advantage of donnies complete faith in him because he knows HOW to#mikey only really gets nasty when leo is there to cover for him for example#with like one exception with that scene in the kitchen#and raph never actually indicates he enjoys hurting donnie at all. he always seems weary and annoyed#its very telling#raph hits so much harder but leo was the one to give him the opening in the first place#because he ground him down first#just like in the final fight#(also for the record that particular one off joke was intentiona for the reasons you statedl!!!)#(thank you sm for looking into my work nobody has EVER done that before)
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the charms of the ygo girls visualized: baby seal, hottest woman youve ever seen, silly teenage girl unleashed, woman youd endure astrology/tarot talk from cuz youre mesmerized by her mysterious rizz
#art tag#yugioh#ygo#anzu mazaki#tea gardner#kisara#ishizu ishtar#mai valentine#mai kujaku#i was thinking abt drawing mai and i had to establish some ground rules. kisara is always my special bbgirl so i have to distinguish em#chad mai has to have cheekbones and lots of lashes and BIG hair. bigger/serious ears too. adds canon feel#same w ishizu. but the eye shape is seto kaiba with eyeliner#tea has to get silly she has to get sillier *covered in blood*
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Is it geologically probable for swallows rest to have basalt cliffs? Not really. Am i gonna headcanon it anyway? Of course.
Because I can picture Adrian and Victor walking along the beach, spending time waiting for lord vane to arrive. When all of a sudden Adrian comes to a dead stop in the middle of a sentence, staring at something ahead of them. Then he gasps, and gets so excited he forgets where he is, who he's with, and the collar around his neck, as he starts excitedly slapping Victor in the arm going, "Look, look, look, look--" at top speed.
Victor, who was primed for some kind of emergency since Adrian stopped talking is looking around frantically like, "What, what happened???"
Only for Adrian to point ahead and whisper-yell, "Basalt cliffs!!" And start booking it across the beach.
And yeah, maybe it painfully reminds Victor a lot of his younger self, and he's just about ready to remind Adrian of his manners as a priest, but then Adrian turns around to see if hes coming and the smile on his face is the most animated hes seen Adrian since he met him. And when he catches up he gets treated to a long winded ramble about crystal structure and volcanic activity and geologic hotspots and the Implications and how they could easily be the most ancient part of the island and erosion wear patterns and hes always wanted to see these in person cause they have them in northern ireland and and-- Its the most he's ever heard Adrian talk in one sitting.
And he supposes that having an appreciation for the wonders of the world that God made is perfectly acceptable for their profession, and lets him talk as long as likes.
#Adrian would be vibrating in excitement the whole time they were on that beach anyway#the ground is just covered in ancient coins??? oh my god?#he fucking loves rocks and artifacts and always wanted to go mudlarking on the thames but didn't get a chance before coming to swallows rest#he goes out by himself one day and comes back jingling from rocks and coins in his pockets lmao#and yeah maybe i think about blorbo from my shows being very patient with my self inserts infodumping a lot#this has no bearing on my irl mental state shut up dont worry about it#father rambles#what manner of man#half sorry for spamming the tag but uhh as you can tell this story wont leave my brain#gotta call my boss and be like yeah im not coming in today i gotta read about this priest getting seduced by a vampire. yeah all day sorry.#to be fairrr re: would there actually be basalt in this island#northern ireland does have a pretty famous set of cliff like this: the giants causeway#idk which direction swallows rest is supposed to be from the mainland but it could be very close to there!
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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Margaret of Anjou’s visit to Coventry [in 1456], which was part of her dower and that of her son, Edward of Lancaster, was much more elaborate. It essentially reasserted Lancastrian power. The presence of Henry and the infant Edward was recognised in the pageantry. The ceremonial route between the Bablake gate and the commercial centre was short, skirting the area controlled by the cathedral priory, but it made up for its brevity with no fewer than fourteen pageants. Since Coventry had an established cycle of mystery plays, there were presumably enough local resources and experience to mount an impressive display; but one John Wetherby was summoned from Leicester to compose verses and stage the scenes. As at Margaret’s coronation the iconography was elaborate, though it built upon earlier developments.
Starting at Bablake gate, next to the Trinity Guild church of St. Michael, Bablake, the party was welcomed with a Tree of Jesse, set up on the gate itself, with the prophets Isaiah and Jeremiah explaining the symbolism. Outside St. Michael’s church the party was greeted by Edward the Confessor and St. John the Evangelist; and proceeding to Smithford Street, they found on the conduit the four Cardinal Virtues—Righteousness (Justice?), Prudence, Temperance, and Fortitude. In Cross Cheaping wine flowed freely, as in London, and angels stood on the cross, censing Margaret as she passed. Beyond the cross was pitched a series of pageants, each displaying one of the Nine Worthies, who offered to serve Margaret. Finally, the queen was shown a pageant of her patron saint, Margaret, slaying the dragon [which 'turned out to be strictly an intercessor on the queen's behalf', as Helen Maurer points out].
The meanings here are complex and have been variously interpreted. An initial reading of the programme found a message of messianic kingship: the Jesse tree equating royal genealogy with that of Christ had been used at the welcome for Henry VI on his return from Paris in 1432. A more recent, feminist view is that the symbolism is essentially Marian, and to be associated with Margaret both as queen and mother of the heir rather than Henry himself. The theme is shared sovereignty, with Margaret equal to her husband and son. Ideal kingship was symbolised by the presence of Edward the Confessor, but Margaret was the person to whom the speeches were specifically addressed and she, not Henry, was seen as the saviour of the house of Lancaster. This reading tips the balance too far the other way: the tableau of Edward the Confessor and St. John was a direct reference to the legend of the Ring and the Pilgrim, one of Henry III’s favourite stories, which was illustrated in Westminster Abbey, several of his houses, and in manuscript. It symbolised royal largesse, and its message at Coventry would certainly have encompassed the reigning king. Again, the presence of allegorical figures, first used for Henry, seems to acknowledge his presence. Yet, while the message of the Coventry pageants was directed at contemporary events it emphasised Margaret’s motherhood and duties as queen; and it was expressed as a traditional spiritual journey from the Old Testament, via the incarnation represented by the cross, to the final triumph over evil, with the help of the Virgin, allegory, and the Worthies. The only true thematic innovation was the commentary by the prophets.
[...] The messages of the pageants firmly reminded the royal women of their place as mothers and mediators, honoured but subordinate. Yet, if passive, these young women were not without significance. It is clear from the pageantry of 1392 and 1426 in London and 1456 in Coventry that when a crisis needed to be resolved, the queen (or regent’s wife) was accorded extra recognition. Her duty as mediator—or the good aspect of a misdirected man—suddenly became more than a pious wish. At Coventry, Margaret of Anjou was even presented as the rock upon which the monarchy rested. [However,] a crisis had to be sensed in order to provoke such emphasis [...]."
-Nicola Coldstream, "Roles of Women in Late Medieval Civic Pageantry," "Reassessing the Roles of Women as 'Makers' of Medieval Art and Culture"
#historicwomendaily#margaret of anjou#my post#henry vi#yeah I don't necessarily agree with Laynesmith's interpretation (that it was essentially Marian with an emphasis on shared sovereignty)#which she herself says is 'admittedly very speculative'#as this book points out that interpretation tips the balance too far on the other side and has a somewhat selective reading#It's also important to remember that this interpretation was not really reflected across wider Lancastrian propaganda at the time#which isn't really talked about - let alone emphasized - as much by historians but remained focused on the King#For example: look at the pro-Lancastrian poem 'The Ship of State' which hails Henry VI as a 'noble shyp made of good tree'#and emphasizes how he was widely supported and defended by many great Lancastrian lords and the crown prince#but not Margaret who was entirely absent#also look at the book 'Knyghthode and Bataile' (presented to Henry) and Fortescue's various pro-Lancastrian texts in the 1460s#even the recording of that Yorkist trial which was iirc reported in the 1459 attainder#all of these were entirely conventional and highlighted the presence and importance of the King. Margaret was not emphasized.#so either the Lancastrians were impossibly inconsistent about what message they actually wanted to convey about the role of their own queen#or the Coventry pageants were not actually meant to emphasize Margaret in the lieu of Laynesmith's interpretation#and would not have been viewed in such a manner by contemporaries#I think we should also keep in mind that we don't really know what Henry VI's condition was like at the time of MoA's entry to Coventry#we know he had been injured in St. Albans and had only just recovered from his second illness#this is especially important to consider since we know he had also arrived at Coventry before Margaret but much more discreetly#and was not welcomed by any pageants that we know of. This is VERY unusual and can be best explained if we consider the fact that he#may have simply not been in the right state (be it physical or state of mind) for it at the time#in which case the pageants for Margaret should be viewed as more of a improvisation/cover-up/temporary measure to bolster prestige#or Henry may have deliberately taken a more discreet role to emphasize the position of his heir - especially important after the long wait#imo I think Kipling's interpretation (ie: that they addressed Margaret but really referenced the prince & heir) makes a lot more sense:#'Coventry [...] regarded Margaret's entry as a kind of triumph-by-proxy: the Queen entered the city but Coventry received its Prince'#though I think he tends to view Margaret as more of a cipher (and has a very questionable view of Henry VI) which I also don't agree with.#The pageants very much DID focus on and reference her but they most prominently emphasized her 'motherhood and duties as queen'#ie: I think Kipling and Laynesmith tip too far on opposite sides and I think this interpretation takes the most realistic middle ground
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Considering recent events have made this relevant again, I've been thinking for a while about the warlock/patron relationship that Laudna and Delilah have, because while it seems to be pretty antagonistic from Laudna's side, because Delilah, you know, had her murdered, Delilah seems to treat Laudna like she's her daughter.
For example, this is the conversation that Delilah and Laudna have during the Gnarlrock Incident:
Delilah: "Child, this... this is far too dangerous in your hands. I'll handle this"
Laudna: "Tell me what it is"
Delilah: "Shhhhh"
Laudna: "Tell me what it is"
Delilah: "I've taken care of it for you"
And then afterwards:
Laudna: "What did you do?!"
Delilah: "Ahhhhhh, don't worry, I've taken care of it"
Laudna: "How?"
Delilah: "And thank you"
Laudna: "Noooooo!"
While Laudna is pretty clearly demanding of Delilah to tell her what the gnarlrock is and then later, what she did with it, Delilah is treating Laudna almost like a young child that's gotten ahold of something they shouldn't. She lets her know the object is dangerous, and then takes it away promising to take care of it, all the while refusing to explain anything and only providing shallow comfort that the situation is handled when Laudna presses her.
The way Delilah treats Laudna is also quite reminiscent of the way she treated Cassandra de Rolo, a woman Delilah said "could have been [her] daughter". There's manipulation, there's control, and both of these women where victims of Delilah's reign in Whitestone, but Delilah seemed to consider how she treated Cassandra to be motherly.
Finally, there's the conversation Delilah has with the Hells while they're trying to separate the two during the period Laudna was dead. In the middle of the conversation Delilah says: "If you truly do love your friend than trust that I carry the same care for her that you do." While part of why she said this was almost certainly to manipulate the Hells into bringing her back alongside Laudna, I think she was also being sincere on some level. I think Delilah really does thinks she care for Laudna in the way the Hells do. She doesn't treat her well by any means, when she's not manipulating Laudna she's treating her like a child instead of an adult, but I think in Delilah's mind she's caring for Laudna the way any mother would care for her child.
#i should note that i'm not super happy about delilah being laudna's warlock patron#i think opash would have allowed marisha to cover a lot of the same thematic ground as delilah#without retreading ground that was already thoroughly covered in other campaigns#but one must meet the narrative where it is#and there is interesting material in laudna and delilah's relationship#critical role#cr3#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#delilah briarwood#laudna
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Finally going on morning walks again means seeing all the beautiful spring flowers popping up :-) 💞
#a lot of crocuses!!! i didnt know how popular they were here!!#also some tulips now!!!!! 💕#i think all the purple and white ground cover ones are siberian squill??? im actually not sure i need to consult the tomes#my stuff
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The more I think about it, the more I believe that Arya has to have one of the highest chapter counts in TWOW
#assuming George isn't planning on splitting the book again then there's just too much she has to get through to segue into the final book#the entire plot with braavos which has got to be at least like five chapters? and then her connections to the riverlands/northern plot#This is why I hope we get her linking up with other POV chapters so we can get through more of her plot quicker#I know a lot of it is intertwined but there's still a lot there#people theorize her having one of the lowest chapter counts and that just makes no sense to me#I think her and Dany will have some of the most chapters considering the ground they have to cover#one of the plots I'm most excited for because I think it's going to diverge from the show the most#they gave us barely anything in terms of her braavos plot on the show and I NEED to see the rest of it
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DCU fandom is so funny because everyone is always mad. Feels like living with my parents again 🥰 home sweet home 🥰
#no tags thank you tumblr I don't want anyone to shout at ME#i just love that people will be like '[comic] is their worst characterisation!!!' on a post and then u scroll and other ppl are like#'this is the BEST way character has been portrayed and I live and breathe THIS specific comic'#and nobody has their story straight on ANYTHING#and everyone hates every ship but also everyone loves every ship#the biggest crime a dcu character can do is Be Boring#it's just really funny I walked in everything was on fire and I sat down and said 'oh nice and warm in here!'#'damian killed dick!!!' 'yeah in the run where he killed dick. they're best friends over THERE'#'jason is the saddest man in the world and here is a beautiful essay about him' 'jason is overused for trauma'#people hate wfa for being the canon fanfic#the dc writers hate all their characters and apparently the flash is the most op in the universe but he has to be nerfed#because of superman and batman etc etc BUT. BUT. if he got to be the winner and strongest people would RIOT bc superman and batman#everyone has bonded with specific comics from the 1900s and they're refusing to move on and accept change#everyone hates the current things happening right now in canon and they're screaming and fightin#and I'm just like: today I learned that the dog superhero cartoon I watched when I was a child was a DC character! wild!#like whew#people are MAD here#and I've been in a lot of fandoms#but I can't go anywhere without a fight breaking out. truly they reflect their hometown (gotham)#note: I'm still mostly in batman/superman stuff bc I'm new and there's a LOT of ground to cover#i have to give the disclaimer bc I am trying not to step on any toes I literally just think it's funny how much this fandom#hates everyone and everything IN this fandom#anyway shoutout the the people trying to get railed by twoface! you're so fun to me 🤭#also I love jesse mccartney I can't believe roxas is dick grayson [real]#if tumblr shows this post to anyone it better ONLY be to people who are chill about the infighting situation I think it's important#to the dcu eco-system at this point
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guys guyg uys the monkie kid soundtrack would have such a stranglehold of me if they actually released it i need the soundtrack out now
like the score is an essential part of so many of the most iconic parts of the show it adds so much emotion and gravity to the scenes
and i would honestly listen to it on its own on repeat is so good sounding with the melding of different genres of music
i know nothing about how music works but i’d really like to analyze all the the leitmotifs and sounds associated with all the characters and it would be a whole lot easier if they officially released it
anyways look at this please
tldr muisc goob pls giv eitt o us aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
#a show with a constantly fire soundtrack must be cherished ok#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk#also characters have multiple leitmotifs judging by the piano cover so i might have to look for that too#but i did notice motifis for flowerfruit mountain mk/swk mei tang pigsy/sandy nezha red son azure macaque lbd and the villains in general#and more#also idk why pigsy and sandy share a leitmotif like i get mk and swk but why didnt sandy get something#ok after rewatching the show again i THINK i might have heard sandy's motif but it isnt played enough for me to be sure and he shared pigsys#like three times already so idk#update again i was just stupid sandy doesn't share with pigsy i was just put off by pitiful creature's combining both motifs#listen sandy's motif is really short and leads from pigsy's really well#also sound cues and associated instruments for a lot of things like the ink curse subodi's training grounds all the characters etc etc#the soundtrack alone could be put under a microscope so you can understand the insanity i feel#lmk advertizing on my blog i know like zero of my followers know wtf im talking about so that better change soon#alttalks
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Pondering bottom surgery in the tags I mf guess
#I’ve been. thinking abt bottom surgery again after having accepted for a while that I would probably never get it#for context early on in my transition I was dead set on phallo but then T and my other surgeries satisfied me enough to not need it#+ for phallo I would have had to keep an arm or leg free of tattoos and I just did not want to wait on that#not considering it would probably be at least a decade. tattoos were and are more important#+ the more I started to enjoy using what I have I was like. it is simply not medically necessary anymore#like would I like to have a **** yes. do I need one to live a happy life no#being bi complicates things for me too bc it depends a little bit who I marry#don’t want to tailor my body to a specific relationship esp if it doesn’t last forever but it does make a difference#current partner is nonbinary and wants phallo so that does not make things simpler lol#I want a body that allows the most affirming possible relationship w the person I intend to marry#I also don’t want to end up hindering things w future partners should that not happen#anyway I say all this to say. I had never considered meta as an option bc I didn’t think it would do much for me#lot of effort and money and healing for not as drastic a change. wouldn’t solve my biggest bottom dysphoria issues#however. starting to think it could be the middle ground I’m looking for as a gnc/genderfluid person#it would be less surgeries. less complicated n expensive. less changes to my current anatomy#esp if I don’t do everything you Can do w meta. I could do like half of all that or less#I don’t wanna risk giving up the things I can do now without knowing if I’ll enjoy the new possibilities#but this could be a way to just kinda feel more affirmed without it changing my life all that much#I think just the act of undergoing bottom surgery would be affirming. like I’ve done Everything I’m a binary male thru and thru. transexual#and I wouldn’t have to keep wondering if I’ll do it someday or if I should#not that I can any time soon I’m uninsured. insurance prob wouldn’t even cover it#but just. the more I look into it and think abt it + the more serious my relationship gets the more I lean towards it#my partner talking increasingly abt wanting bottom surgery asap is influencing me too ngl not even in a jealousy way#just. I can’t deal w the possibility of a partners phallo fucking up my relationship w my body Again. I would need to know what I want#man. I can’t even go to therapy to talk thru it. on account of being uninsured#mine#txt#personal
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Patrick Jane 🤝🏻 The Doctor an aversion to firearms
#i think about them sometimes. specifically ingrid's ten bc we have talked about it before.#and their relationship is very interesting to me lol#the doctor baffles patrick in a way that is fascinating and the tiniest bit frustrating to him bc he just cannot figure him out.#he can try and he can be sure of himself but he will probably be *wrong* because he just. would not factor in the idea that the doctor#could be an alien.#but anyway that's not really the point of this post. i just think... i think they're a lot a like in some ways.#they have similar scruples about violence. they both cover a lot of pain with charismatic smiles. they're endlessly fascinated by the world#albeit in different ways. and they both have very similar ways to approaching anger and justice i think. they can be very cold & very wrong#and they both need someone to ground them.#in patrick's case i think that person is his entire cbi fam but esp. teresa. he needs her.#out of tea [ooc];
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consistently torn between "nanami and saionji should just never speak to touga again" and "touga finally recognizing he wants genuine connections and putting in the effort to fix what he's broken and the three of them reaching some sort of catharsis with each other Despite It All"
#ITS LIKE#i think it's completely justifiable to just want them to not be involved with each other#but also kind of inherintly it is less interesting to have them just not interact with each other bc it means you can't really#explore their dynamic any further#mostly nanami just needs to have the option to not be reliant on him in order for anything between them to work itself out#i do think it CAN be salvaged despite the akio/anthy parallels but. on god it needs some craaaaaazy work#as for saionji i honestly think the series covers a lot of development ground for him already#but similarly i think he needs to divorce himself a bit from touga#in general all of them need to not center him in order to have a relationship with him. how's that for an oxymoron
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