#I suppose that's a question I ask about all of my favorite bands. and how/why they qualify as a favorite.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Those overprotective fans of Stuart Adamson in the Big Country fan group on FB remind me of me in the Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers fandom where I can't stand anyone saying anything good about Tom Petty if they do not also mention The Heartbreakers (and that they're better than TP alone). lmao

P.S. The reason I find similarities between us fans is because either way 1) they don't pay us to defend them like that, and 2) they're not gonna fuck us.

[zooone]

as above, so below

╰┈➤ a grumpy grim reaper falls in love with an optimistic angel.

one sided hatred to lovers; grim reaper!wilbur x angel!reader

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - here it is, my magnum opus. even tho its not done! i had to split this fic in half, so unfortunately there will have to be a part two :( very sorry. but on a lighter note, HUGE HUGEEE thank you to @harbingerofheartbreak. as per usual, she helped me visualized the entire thing and even made some of the plots and ideas that i used. in fact, the original fic was supposed to be a grim reaper x human, but it was florence who thought of the grim reaper x angel prompt and i could not thank her enough. furthermore, she helped keep this fic going and constantly pushed me beyond my limits to do so. the fic was started july 21st and it was supposed to be shelved after a couple weeks, but she made me keep going. she is the best forever and ever go read ynaf. additionally, another big thanks to @starsyoubreaklikesugardust for being another little beta reader for this fic. she always has the greatest ideas known to man and i wanted to run everything by her bcuz it was like having van gogh rate my painting. i had to share this with her earlier than i thought cuz she was threatening me but we dont have to talk about that smile. both of these people helped me so much, and i will forever be in debt to them.

all in all, please please enjoy and give this your love pretty please <3

hi! message from about a year later (since i still get notes from this) but i do not support wilbur soot at all, and do not write for him anymore. so part two of this fic is discontinued. :( thank u for all the luv from this fic

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - talk of death, religious aspects, and swearing

she had a lot of questions about wilbur.

not the type of, "what's your favorite color?" or "what's your favorite band?" questions. more like, "on a scale of one to ten, how much does being a murderer really affect your mood?"

all of these questions would go unanswered. including "what's your favorite band?" no matter what, she just could not crack the code of wilbur soot.

to say he was intricate would be an understatement, and her ongoing curiosity would surely be the death of her.

unless he had something to do about it.

-

he stomped away from her on the rooftop as she followed after him.

"i told you to leave me alone," wilbur grunted, trying to speed walk past her with his long scythe trailing behind him. "is that so difficult to understand?"

"i just- i just wanna talk-" she panted, trying to catch up to him. her white dress flowed beneath her, but wilbur tried not to think about it too much.

"no." he made a sharp turn to fully face her, making her nearly bump into him.

her frown was illuminated by her golden halo, making her hair look almost cloud-like. her eyes glimmered like the entire sun was like a clown nose on her face, despite them arguing in the cold of night.

she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. her halo also lit his face up, and she saw the permanent frown and scrunched up eyebrows under his dark hood.

"why not, wilbur?"

he looked at her like she asked if the moon was real.

"you ruined my job. again." he punctuated his sentence with her name, saying it like he was curling at the nasty taste of it.

he always hated her. there was no mistaking it. he hated the way she giggled and danced around just because she could. he hated the way she spoke, always sounding so bright and happy and fucking naive. he hated her big white wings and her shiny halo.

"there you go talking about your job! like its all that matters to you," she yelled over the continuous honking cars beneath them. "do you even care about anything else in life?"

they weren't even supposed to interact, her being an angel and him being the prince of death. but he was always out doing his grim reaper duties, and she couldn't help but stop him.

he just wanted to follow orders from mumza- the queen of death. every single day that he existed, he had to take the lives of those who were ready. it ate him alive, but it was his only purpose.

"i can't care about everything else in life if i have to care about everything else in death," he grumbled under his breath, making her go silent. he liked her silence, loved it even, because that meant she couldn't criticize him for everything he did.

he would tell her about how angry the job made him. that if he could just switch spots with his brother, the stork, he would be the happiest being in hell. that he hated being the grim reaper almost as much as she hated him.

but if there was anything he really hated, it was opening up to people. and vice versa.

the last time he remotely opened up to someone, it was his mother, and he barely remembered the conversation. it was all the way back when he was welcome to smile. all he could recall was it being something about love, whatever it meant.

"will you please leave me alone now?" he sighed, rubbing his hand in his eye. he watched her eyes go from their usual large state to becoming droopy. she silently nodded her head.

"sorry. goodbye, mr. grim reaper," and the title tore him to shreds. it angered him, over everything else, that all he would be to her was an evil being.

yet, he watched as she jumped from the rooftop, fluttering her wings until she flew away. as she looked back over at him, he couldn't place the odd feeling left in his stomach. if it was guilt or hatred, he would never know.

he would continue to travel, picking up the souls on his way. she always thought he was lucky for being able to travel wherever he wanted. she always wanted to befriend the humans- in fact, she wanted to befriend everyone, but she found it impossible when she was constantly being held back.

he arrived back to hell's palace, a bag in one hand, and his scythe in the other. his head drooped down, avoiding any unnecessary eye contact with the other demons.

that hope would be short lived, however, as a demon took his shoulder as he walked.

"wilbur!" he spoke cheerfully, as if he wasn't living among lava pools and ash.

"quackity," wilbur responded in the same, monotone voice. it made the demon groan.

"quackity-" he mocked, changing his shape to an exact replica of wilbur's. mimic demons, they were called, and they were able to take form of any other being, even adorning their voice. it came in handy for most demon's entertainment, but it certainly didn't faze wilbur.

he stared into the mimic of his face, hating what stared back at him.

"oh come on. that usually works on people," quackity frowned as he twisted himself back to his natural state. he began poking wilbur with his blackened hands. "just give me a little giggle, wilbur."

"no." he'd said the word so much that it rolled perfectly off his tongue. "and for fucks sake, please put on a shirt."

quackity laughed loudly. "we're in hell, wilbur! its hot as- well, hell down here. don't tell me you haven't thought about walking around shirtless either." he paused, putting his hands on wilbur's dark outfit, "or.. hoodless.."

wilbur glared with an unamused look on his face, shrugging quackity's touch off of him and trying to continue walking along his path. walking away from conversations never worked to end them, yet he still tried it.

it would be the second example today that his tactic never worked, because quackity continued to walk along with him into the palace.

"what's the catch today?" he said it like it was a cheer. "did you get the big numbers? beat your high score yet?"

he would say he could feel his blood boil, but the flames in hell already did that.

"no. i don't keep track," he explained simply, pouring his bag's content into the soul sorter. it went to the fates to decide whether the soul was good or bad. simply enough, the good souls would be transported to heaven and the bad ones would stay. sometimes he imagined them debating over a soul's purity. the sound of screams every time he opened the bag would never become easier to stomach.

"bummer," quackity hummed. "why don't you try to make the job a little fun?"

"because i don't want to, okay?" he raised his voice. this time, quackity caught the memo and stayed quiet, except for a "shit, okay." under his breath.

wilbur walked along the palace's stairs, leaving quackity alone in the lobby without another word. this time, walking away from the situation made it stop. the third time really was the charm.

he set his hood down to his shoulders with a sigh, being able to fully see the gold and red palace for what it was. all of the vibrant and bright colors that quite literally clashed with the flames. it was scary and huge, but it was home to him. it was all he'd really known.

he went up to his room, laying on his bed with a groan. sometimes he wished his bed was quite literally made out of feathers, because his back always ached. tommy always said it was because of his "fucking posture", but wilbur knew he had no room to talk. just the thought of him jumping into a big pile of fluffy feathers made his bones ease a little more.

he would spend the night rolling around in his not-feather bed, having issues with his sleep. it was such a frequent problem for him that it was barely even a problem. just how he existed.

and, meanwhile, she would spend her "night" (in quotations. it never got dark in heaven.) staring up at the sun, wondering what sort of buttons she could've possibly pushed with wilbur to make him hate her. it was a recurring thought, but it kept her up too frequently.

the worst part about waking up was simply that. waking up. wilbur would roll out of bed, fluff up his hair a little bit, put on the same clothes, and be going. he went through the same routine every day and he hated it. but at the same time, if anyone disrupted his routine, he'd be angered.

"wilbur!"

and his routine was ruined.

"morning, tommy," he muttered, wiping the sleep from his eyes with a yawn. he couldn't be bothered to be angry this early, and definitely not to tommy. "aren't you supposed to be in heaven right now?"

"i'm on break," tommy said in a matter-of-fact tone. he stretched his arms and his wings with a groan, leaving some stray yellowed feathers behind. "delivering babies to peoples' doors is quite the workout."

wilbur barely registered his words, staring idly past tommy. his eyes wandered more on a decoration on a table behind him. he didn't even notice that tommy had continued speaking until he put his hands on his hips and sighed.

"yeah. both mum and dad really like me!" tommy spoke, ruffling his hands through his hair until he realized his goggles were in the way. the mention of phil darkened his mood.

"mum told you to stop calling him 'dad'," wilbur spoke monotone and simple, as usual.

and as usual, tommy groaned at wilbur's monotone voice and simple words, slouching down. "she also told you to stop being so fucking gloomy."

wilbur felt the need to do a lot of things; one- hit tommy with his scythe, two- tell tommy what a privileged asshole he sounded like, and three- do both at the same time. but wilbur had an okay-ish perception of tommy, growing up alongside the boy took a lot. but as annoying as the boy was, he was wilbur's company. even if he would rather swallow his scythe than to admit it aloud.

instead of acting on his mental list of intrusive thoughts, wilbur only sighed. he didn't bother to pick the conversation back up, his eyes wandering to the decoration again. had they always had that there? it looks off-centered.

"well," tommy noticed wilbur's spacing and patted his shoulder as he walked towards the stairs. "good luck today."

wilbur stared blankly through the fringe of sweaty hair on his forehead. inside, he was trying to form whatever a smile was. "thank you, tommy."

he watched as tommy jumped down the stairway, yellow tufts of hair flying with him. he heard a shout from down below, "and don't forget to fix your posture!"

wilbur scoffed in response, sounding more uninterested than he intended to, but ultimately pulling his shoulders back. a new day! a new window of opportunity! is what wilbur would think, if he wasn't wilbur.

he grabbed the railing of the stairway, his pale thin hand contrasting with the gold. he stared at his feet the entire time stepping down. he'd already forgotten about "fixing his posture".

he made his way down the lobby, not getting a chance to speak to his mother due to the abundance of demons lined up, trying to tell her that she was making a mistake. it was typical, but it still left bags under her eyes. wilbur only gave her a timid wave as a greeting before exiting through the palace's doors.

he dragged his tacky shoes through the red dirt beneath him, watching as tiny rocks rolled along his feet before stopping. he almost ran head first into the elevator due to how long he kept his gaze down, but luckily he saved himself from the mental embarrassment.

he stepped inside, proving his identity to the machine far more times than he needed to. mimic demons would always try to steal his finger print to use the elevator and get themselves back onto earth, but it was never successful. he had a keycard, just in case the identity proving didn't work. tommy had the same.

as the doors parted and he made a careful step out, he did his daily greeting to the guard (his daily greeting being a casual glare and a furrow of his eyebrows) and used his scythe to poke himself out.

from the surface, it would simply look like a boulder being turned over. but as wilbur stepped onto the grass, he took a moment to breathe. the air on earth was far better than the smoke in hell. he would spend a great deal of time taking a couple deep breaths, appreciating the silence, oh the lovely sound of absolutely nothing-

"wilbur! there you are!"

he almost screamed. instead, he only turned to the source of the way-too-cheerful voice, saying her name in utter disbelief. "what are you doing here?"

he didn't speak as if he were asking a question. he wasn't actually interested in why she was here in the grass with her elegant white dress and her annoyingly wide smile, using her wings to shield herself from the sun, even if they were translucent.

"i was waiting for you!" she squeaked, getting up from her spot in the grass and practically skipping up towards him. she had what looked to be a gardener's nightmare in her hands. "this is for you!"

before he could say another word, she pushed his hood off of his head. she had to use her wings to reach the top of his hair, but she was still able to run her hand through his brown waves. and as she giggled, she placed her makeshift flower crown on his head.

she pushed herself away- still hovering on her wings, and took a long, meaningful look at him. "you look great!"

"i feel disgusting," he said with anger, taking the weeds out of his hair and stuffing them sloppily into his bag. "why did you do that."

she looked at him with a frown, but still tried to make herself sound happy. her halo flickered softly. "it.. it was supposed to be a gift for you."

"yeah? well i hated it," he squinted his gaze down at her, and she could feel herself shrinking the more and more he looked.

she stayed quiet, the halo above her head still flicked on and off. she looked at him with nothing but a frown, lowering herself so that her feet hit the ground.

what she failed to notice was that he unfurrowed his brows ever so slightly upon seeing her upset.

"let me just get going, okay?" he spoke, trying to make his voice a little bit softer but still keeping the agonizing punch in there.

she spoke quieter now. "i have one more thing for you."

wilbur flinched, fully expecting a glitter bomb to come out of her pocket. but to his surprise, it wasn't.

she pulled out a pack of gummy worms, handing it to him with a pitiful smile on her face. he took it, examining it slowly.

"why is it open?" he took another look at it and realized it was almost half empty.

"umm.. i got a little hungry waiting for you," she mumbled, playing with the hem of her dress. "you were taking a little bit long."

"and speaking of which, i've been talking to you for a little bit too long," he retorted, crumpling up the bag of gummy worms in his palm. the sides of the bagging were practically fighting with the cage he made out of his fingers.

he began to walk in the opposite direction, debating in his mind exactly how long it would take to make his way out of the field and to the nearest trash can. she quickly followed behind him, almost tripping on herself in the process.

"hey- i didn't expect a hello from you, but a thank you would at least be nice!" she yelled as he speed-walked away with his grumpy walk and stone shoulders. "i'm talking to you!"

"and i'm not," he grumbled, fiddling to put his hood back onto his head as a way of closing himself off.

"just-" she flapped her wings, trying to be alongside him. "just have some gummy worms, please?"

he glared, slightly squinting from the piercing light of her halo. "maybe later."

"right now."

as much as he didn't want to, he stopped dead in his tracks. his stare was hurtful and his hand clenched onto his scythe. that was the most demanding he'd ever heard of her.

there was a voice in his head telling him to leave, to just let her have the last word and be gone. but he felt like he couldn't move.

"excuse me?" he only said, scrunching his eyebrows up.

"i want you to have them right now," she enunciated her words, crossing her arms and trying to copy his expression. she was fighting her usual bright smile under her pursed lips. "in front of me."

he blinked, almost starstruck. "why?"

she seemed nearly surprised at his one word question, her stern voice softening slightly. "you look like you haven't been taking care of yourself," as she spoke through a pout, he could feel his face warming up, like tiny little punching bags beneath his skin. "i wanna make sure you're eating."

he hated the feeling of his cheeks going warm. he slept in hell, obviously he knew what warmth was. but for some reason it felt even weirder when it was behind his skin. he cleared his throat with a cough.

"this? you think this is healthy?" he held up the crumpled, half-empty bag, speaking with his forceful actions.

she went quiet again, only speaking loud enough for him to hear. "i couldn't afford anything else at the gas station."

the feeling of warmth in his cheeks soon boiled over into anger. "you couldn't afford anything else?" he repeated in disbelief, "you are quite literally an angel! you're invisible to the human eye! it is so easy for you to steal."

"but i don't wanna be a bad person!" she copied his raised voice, standing on her tiptoes as almost a challenge. "i leave money in the cash register for the man. you know, he's really struggling. he could use the money. his name is robert, i think-"

"i don't care!" wilbur screamed, cutting her off completely. she flinched at his voice, feeling overwhelmed tears start to prickle from her eyes. she hid behind her wings, afraid that he might do something drastic.

he felt his shoulders shrink at her reaction, but ultimately grumbled and opened the pack of gummy worms. he hesitated, holding out the candy in front of him.

she opened her eyes from her flinch, and saw him sniffing the gummy worm. a smile spread across her face. "you just.. take a bite out of it."

"i know," he muttered. he was already mad enough that he had to eat it, he didn't want to be instructed on how.

"oh.. okay. i mean- i just kinda assumed that you didn't know because i don't think there are gummy worms in hell. they'd get all sticky and stuff. at least, that's what i've heard. are there really no gummy worms in hell?"

he looked at her with no amusement on his face. she looked right back at him, however, wanting an answer to her long winded question that was somehow said in a singular breath.

"no… no there aren't," he spoke slowly, raising an eyebrow at her. "are there gummy worms in heaven?"

why was he making conversation with her? he should be out collecting souls right now, not talking about stupid little gummy worms with this stupid little angel. he mentally slapped himself in the face, cringing with a shake of his head.

"no, there aren't," she batted her eyelashes like she was trying to think for a moment. "but phil sometimes gives me money for gummy worms. i share it with the others!"

he was barely registering her words, his mind still clouded with the mental boxing match he was having with himself. he was being stupid. not even the mention of phil was able to knock him from his thoughts.

"hey," she waved her hand in his face, acting as the referee and stopping his boxing match. he was almost at a knockout. "you've been making that face for a while. do you not like gummy worms?"

wilbur didn't know how to really respond to the question, having never even tried gummy worms before. he looked back at her. she had her full attention on him, waiting for another answer that he would hopefully not blunder.

"it's.. it's fine."

he definitely blundered.

he ignored it, not ready for a round two fight, and put the gummy worm in his mouth.

she leaned forward. "how is it?"

it was about the best damn thing he's ever had.

"it's.. okay, i guess."

"great!" she jumped- fucking jumped. "im sure you have to be on your way for your very important job-"

he completely forgot about his being the grim reaper, straightening up suddenly with widened eyes and tightening his grip on his scythe. he cursed under his breath, running towards the direction of the city.

"hey, i didn't finish!" she called out, catching up to him once more with flaps of her wings.

"i can't talk. you've already made me late enough," his hood almost fell off in the wind with how quickly he was running. "fuck, mum's gonna be pissed."

she would, in fact, not be pissed. she was always far too busy to even greet wilbur or tommy, and they hadn't done any sort of domestic activity in what felt like an eternity. he tried to convince himself that he didn't care, that she was just busy with being the queen of death, but it was extremely lonely.

there wasn't any time for them to really speak. they were both always busy and family meals were long forgotten. in fact, wilbur had never eaten in front of another person before. the most he'd done was eat some boring, rotten food while sitting on his floor with tommy- and even then, he was only picking at it idly with his fork.

he found comfort in eating alone. there was no one there to judge him or to argue. it was just him, his thoughts, and the literal grayed out food they had in hell. but there was something always so reminiscent about having food with another person, even if it was just something like dessert.

"oh," she sighed, moving her wings idly. she watched as he ran away without another look. her arms swung at her sides in an almost confused fashion. "okay. um- hope you like your gummy worms! bye wilbur!"

at least she didn't call him mr. grim reaper again.

he didn't care, anyway, just trying to get to work on the job he obviously hated. but when he stopped to catch his breath, he couldn't help but stare at the pack of gummy worms in his sweaty palms, the colorful designs contrasting his dull looking hand.

he looked around. it looked like there were no cheerful angels in sight, so he figured himself to be safe. he popped another gummy worm into his mouth, scrunching his nose at the taste of something so impossibly sweet. it was a pleasant change from the tasteless foods in hell, and the addictive sweetness coated his tongue for a while.

he stuffed the rest of the pack into his bag, appreciating how empty it was without the souls inside it- a temporary feeling.

wilbur already felt like he'd wasted enough time, and got to work. bringing people to death's door wasn't exactly the easiest job.

he started with a car crash, wincing at the amount of shattered glass and blood everywhere. he fell sick to his stomach with a nasty feeling bubbling up in his throat. all those years dealing with death and it still never got easier to see the causes.

he held his scythe up slowly, shutting his eyes in a flinch. he thought of a thousand things all at once, trying to focus on one. they have to die. i have to put them out of their misery. they're dying because they have to, not because i chose to.

he took a breath, feeling like needles were going up his nose and into his lungs, and swung the weapon down.

it sunk through the person's body without struggle, opening up a passageway for him. he removed his scythe carefully, as if it would hurt them.

he sat on his knees next to the car. although his body was phantom-like against the gravel, he could still feel the roughness under him.

he held a cold hand to the person's back, trying to ignore how it looked to see the life drain from under their eyelids and filter out onto his palm. as soon as he could no longer feel a nauseating pull on his hand, he lifted it gently. he watched as the soul threaded directly off the person, catching onto his fingertips.

he didn't bother to take a closer look at it. the last thing he wanted was to remind himself that these people were actually human. he only took it in his palms, mushing it until it turned into a small circular shape. he put it in his bag, not caring to look at what else was in it.

wilbur would continue to follow through with that sequence throughout the day, as he usually did. scythe, hand, soul, bag. when he was growing up, mumza told him that he would be used to it in no time. but as "no time" passed, he still felt like throwing up after each day.

he made his way down the elevator, his shoulders stinging with the weight of his bag. the souls were practically weightless, but gathering so many into his bag made it sag down. he held his scythe with two hands, his arms being too sore to function properly on their own.

tommy was waiting for him at the steps of the palace, ignoring everyone lined up at the doors. his elbow was on his knee, and his face was being held up in his palm. he had been playing with a stone, trying to break it with his fingertips.

"wilbur," he automatically sprung up upon seeing his brother. he used to go in for hugs, however stopped shortly after wilbur started discussing how much he hated them. "mum wants to see you. says its important."

wilbur took time to react to his words, feeling like his bones weren't his. he only hummed an, "oh. okay," as he made his way up the steps, his feet barely dragging behind him.

"wait-" tommy called out, making wilbur almost freeze on cue. "i was.. i was wondering if you wanted to hang out by the fountain.. of wishes. the one up there. like- like we used to..?"

wilbur's breath stalled, stopping in his lungs. he'd barely even remembered it, but was holding back a smile at the memory.

that smile became easy to suppress as it slowly disappeared. he remembered all of it.

"mum doesn't want us talking to phil," was all wilbur muttered. he finally took a breath, his chest rising and falling with a sigh. "sorry."

"its not like that anymore!" tommy tried, throwing his hands up in the air in an almost child-like fashion. "they've changed, phil especially! i talked to him the other day, and-"

"mum doesn't want us talking to phil, tommy," he enunciated it slower this time. watching tommy's shoulders shrink, a sinking grayness fell over his face like a cloud was above him.

"yeah. okay," tommy sighed with a shake of his head. he played with the calloused skin on his fingers. "you're right."

wilbur stood there for a great deal of time. as much as it physically pained him, he felt a trapped sensation in his chest.

"tommy?" he spoke softly, barely enough for the both of them to hear. "you're a good kid."

he left before tommy could respond, expecting the boy to make some stupid remark about how soft he was turning. tommy didn't react that way, however. he stood alone on the steps, taking breaths watching as wilbur walked away.

wilbur made his way past the screaming, impatient people. he was always hateful towards loud noises as they made his skin crawl. he thought maybe that was the reason he hated the angel's voice so much.

there he went again thinking of that stupid angel. if he'd given her any more room in his mind, she'd have to pay the rent.

shaking his head from stupid thoughts, he called his mother's name, gaining her attention.

"wilbur," she spoke softly, her voice too tired from all the demons and ghosts she spoke to. her black hair hung over her face messily, but it was covered by a large lacy hat. "how are you?"

wilbur knew she wasn't actually curious about how he was feeling. it was just a filler for the missing years of his childhood.

"i'm doing well," a lie, "tommy said you wanted to talk to me?"

he saw his mother's face light up, as if she'd just remembered something blatantly obvious. wilbur could imagine her thoughts- "oh, thats my son, i forgot."

she fished for something on a table near her large throne. it looked more shiny than any angel's halo. damn it, why was he thinking about her again?

"here," she handed an envelope to him with her large hand. he hesitated in taking it. "the messenger said it was for you. you don't usually get mail, so i figured it was important."

wilbur stared at the wax seal, the intricate pattern almost painful to stare at for too long. "are you sure this is for me? im not-"

"im so sorry, wilbur," her eyebrows disappeared into the shape of her hat as she put a hand to her black gown. "i have to get going talking to these people," she motioned to the line in front of her. "i also have a super busy day. i have to-"

"its fine, mum," he cut her off just as she did to him. he couldn't feel any remorse for his lack of formality. "you're.. doing great."

he spared himself from the long speech his mother always gave about how busy she was. it was always a drag to hear. tommy said it was her way of indirectly apologizing for not giving him family meals- but wilbur always thought that if he was right, she would directly say it.

in all honesty, however, he missed being able to sit next to someone and eat something.

the black lipstick on her face formed into a smile. "thank you, wilbur," she sighed, her body already facing the demon she was talking to last. "and tell me what the letter is!"

"i will," another lie. he was really great at them because she could barely ever hear them.

as he was going to the soul sorter, he turned the letter over in his hand, squinting at the written address. it read, "hell's palace (if it's real! i've never been there but i've heard about it!) for wilbur!" with a bunch of hearts and smiley faces. wilbur felt himself go sick to the stomach, nearly tripping on himself.

it was probably that stupid angel trying to give him a pity letter that he didn't want. he scowled at the thought as he emptied his bag into the soul sorter.

that dumb little angel, who did she think she was? did she genuinely think that wilbur would soften up to her because of a little letter with hearts all over it?

but as wilbur was coming up with more mean adjectives, items had been rejected from the soul sorter, and fell out.

it was her flower crown and gummy worms.

wilbur felt his angered expression slowly fade away like sand in an hourglass. he stared at the objects on the ground by his feet.

he was reminded of her soft smile as she put the flower crown on his head, her gentle touches to his hair like he was delicate. or how she forced him to eat fucking gummy worms because of his health.

he could feel the tiniest sliver of a smile peeking out from the corners of his lips. no, what was he doing? that angel was always so judgemental of him. from the moment they first met, she was always criticizing his job and she was always being rude to him.

but, she still cared about him.

wilbur didn't know how to react to that thought. his stomach felt like it was clawing its way out of him, and that weird, warm feeling came back to his face. he hated it.

he bent over, picking up the flowers and gummy worms. he held them in his hands and under his robe, just in case someone saw him holding them.

he quickly went up the stairs, cutting the corner to his room so that no one saw him. he set the flowers, gummy worms, and letter on his desk, his hands propping him up. he stared, yet again, at the objects until he realized- he hadn't even opened her letter yet.

he took a sharp inhale, his fist pressed so hard against the table that he didn't even register the fact that his hands were shaking. he leaned back, taking the envelope with him.

sure enough, it was from her.

"dear wilbur!

hi! i hope this delivered to the right address. i thought mail would be easier in the afterlife, but it really isn't. i hope you're okay!! i hope you didn't hate the gummy worms too much and that you are taking care of yourself! get plenty of sleep please.

i was writing to ask if you wanted to meet me for ice cream! i asked phil, and he said that ice cream would melt in hell too, so i wanted to have some with you. i can show you all the good flavors and everything.

it would be tomorrow, i've listed the time and address below. i hope to see you there!

ps. you better come with a full eight hours of sleep!"

he read over the letter at least a thousand times, his eyes glazing all over the hearts and smiley faces that she used to punctuate each sentence. he felt like he was going to throw up his ugly, beating heart. he didn't know if he should write back or even show up.

it would be his first time properly eating in front of someone in a while, and the thought made him nervous, almost.

as if to taunt him, tommy burst into the room, the sudden loud noise making wilbur scream. he hid the letter on his desk behind him.

"woah," tommy put his hand up to almost shush wilbur, as if he were some wild tiger. "calm down, man."

"sorry-" wilbur straightened himself up, coughing out of awkwardness. he felt his skin melting off of him, and he wanted something to make the tense air easier. "tommy, can you cover for me tomorrow?"

oh god. was he really that desperate to start a conversation?

tommy's eyebrows disappeared into his golden tufts of hair, a confused look grazing his face. "you want me to what?"

"cover.. for me?" he couldn't even believe the words he was saying. "i have a.. thing tomorrow-" no he didn't. he wasn't gonna go. "and.. i need someone to do my job."

"what thing? its not like you have a.." tommy's words trailed off as he stared at his brother in terror. "do you?"

"do i have a what..?" wilbur spoke with confusion as tommy gawked at him. he stage whispered, as if someone were watching.

"do you have a date?"

wilbur's chest bloomed with an awful sensation, his heartbeat picking up and pounding against his ribs. "what? no, i-" he felt like his mouth was stuffed with tar and feathers. "no, of course not, tommy."

"okay! okay," the boy held his gloved hands up in defense, backing away from a powder keg in the form of his brother. "but, whatever it is, how do i cover for you?"

wilbur dropped his tensed shoulders. "you always talk about how easy my job seems, right?"

"what?" tommy screeched, his gold wings flinching with him. "but- but you're the prince of death and i'm the prince of life! how am i supposed to do that?"

wilbur felt his stomach churn at the comparison. he hated the way people would always say "the prince of death" like it would curse the next seven generations of life. his eyebrows furrowed like caterpillars above his eyes.

"then at least pretend that i'm working," he muttered. "it's gonna be easy. i'm sure mum won't even notice."

tommy's lips shifted as he bit the inside of his cheek. he knew wilbur was right. mumza barely said hi to him too.

"okay," tommy sighed as his shoulders fell in defeat. he pointed a finger at wilbur, "but you owe me big time!"

wilbur nodded in response, shooing tommy away with a flick of his hand. tommy listened (although not shutting the door properly), and left his brother alone in his room. the letter was still hidden behind him.

he sighed, feeling his lungs shrink intensely. he had no clue what to do or how to pull it off.

wilbur went to sleep earlier that night, trying to fulfill her promise to get eight hours of sleep. when he woke up, he could feel his bones almost moving on their own. it felt odd to not have the burden of being the soul taking grim reaper.

he looked at himself in the mirror. he looked nothing short of depressing.

he walked over to his closet, sighing as he was face to face with the same rotten black robes he wore. people always trashed on tommy for owning the same white, red sleeved shirt, but wilbur wasn't any better with his duplicates.

he groaned, his head falling in a near defeat. though, he could see a small glint of yellow. hesitating, he picked it up, taking off his cloak to put it on.

it was a really old sweater that phil got him many years ago. back before everything went down the gutter. he ran his thumb down the frayed material. by some miracle, it still fit him.

he looked at himself in his mirror, scowling when he saw who stared back. he looked nothing like how he usually did, and that slight bit of color changed him. the yellow fabric, even when old, still popped out more than his pale skin did.

still, something felt like it was missing. his glasses, maybe? he set the frames on his scrunched face, pushing it up his nose with the back of his hand. that didn't seem to work.

he looked over at his desk, his bottom lip plumped out as he thought. he gave a long stare to the flower crown, feeling his chest tighten and warm with a disgusting feeling. he picked up the flower crown- more delicately than he'd like to admit, and placed it on his tufts of brown as he stared at his reflection.

his mouth hung open. he looked completely different now. there were so many colors and shapes for him to process. and were the dark spots under his eyes really that prominent?

although, even with the wave of confusion, it felt almost comforting. he tried his best at a smile, but shook his head. too far.

wilbur shuffled through the underworld quickly, trying his best not to be seen- and especially not by quackity.

"tommy," quackity stage whispered, gaining the boy's attention. "what the hell's he doing?"

tommy took his place beside quackity, looking to where he was pointing. he scowled. "dude, i kid you not, he's got a fucking date."

quackity scoffed a laugh before looking at tommy. his face was still scrunched in disapproval, his wings idle behind him. quackity’s expression dropped. “wait- you’re serious? he’s actually got a date?”

“that’s what i’m thinking!” tommy’s voice screeched suddenly. he looked and sounded like a bird. “i’ve never seen him wearing something so.. colorful. and look at his fucking posture!”

they watched in amusement as wilbur jammed his finger on the elevator button, trying to get the doors open as he looked around frantically. he hadn’t even noticed, but his shoulders were in fact more pushed back.

he stared at his reflection in front of him, bringing a hand into his hair to even it out. flowers were still scattered around in his hair and it was as if he were producing a trail of petals behind him. he let out a groan as the doors finally parted, and he stepped in.

“who is it with?” quackity asked, holding his chin. his other hand was dug into his pocket. a small, rectangular figure lining the fabric. “do you know?”

tommy turned to quackity with a serious look on his face, as if he were speaking about a universe killing secret rather than who wilbur was eating ice cream with. “you didn’t hear it from me,” he emphasized his words, “but i keep overhearing this angel talking to phil about wilbur. its weird- especially when you think about how phil and wilbur think about each other.”

tommy grimaced at his own words. he could tell how much it cut the mood. it was practically taboo to say wilbur and phil’s name in the same sentence- let alone even mention phil in the underworld. even with tommy trying to get them to forgive each other, the thought of them ever eating at the same dinner table was unfathomable.

quackity interrupted the tension filled silence by asking the angel’s name. tommy gave it without a second thought, but eventually had to repeat it for quackity to properly hear. they were stood outside the pit of lost souls, a place that the forgotten demons would go. they served no purpose in hell as long as they were somehow remembered by someone on earth. it was always a loud area, having literal burning souls inside.

“huh..” quackity hummed, repeating the angel’s name again. “you think they’ll become a thing?”

“no, definitely not,” tommy huffed, laughing as if quackity was telling a knock-knock joke. “he’s too grumpy to actually function around another being.”

“i say give the guy some slack! he deserves at least a chance," quackity protested. "twenty bucks."

"you're betting on his love life?" tommy asked, but quackity stood still with a smirk on his face with his hand out. "fine. deal."

as they shook on their bet, tommy grumbled, his wings tensing up with him. a plan was forming itself in quackity’s mind, his hand patting the lining of his shorts.

“he’s probably up there making out with her right now.”

wilbur, in fact, was not. he was standing on the distant sidewalk, watching her from afar. she sat on the concrete with her legs crossed, looking like her mind was in another galaxy. wilbur on the other hand, stood with his clammy hands at his sides. his palms never sweat as badly as this, and it was making him unsettled. he tried his best to wipe his hands off on his sleeve, but it only made them damp and warm. he sucked in a breath, ignoring it and walking up towards her.

when he caught her eye, her never-ending smile only widened. she stood up to properly face him, looking at him from the top of his flower-ridden hair down to his shoes. “wilbur?”

“hi.. hi-” his voice cracked, and he tried to cover it up with a fake cough. now his throat wasn’t working. “um, i didn’t know.. i wasn’t sure if.. i-”

“you look really nice!” she interrupted, saving him the embarrassment. he let out a mix of a smile and a relieved sigh, muttering his thanks. “and it looks like you actually slept.”

“i did,” he mumbled, adjusting the collar of his bunchy sweater. suddenly, he could feel every texture touching his body. “eight hours.. just like you asked..”

“it wasn’t so difficult, was it?” she giggled, and the noise stabbed wilbur a thousand times in the stomach.

“actually, it was,” he bit the inside of his cheek, rocking back and forth on his heels with nervousness. “my bed is a literal stone. i wish it were made out of feathers.”

“maybe your dream will come true some time! come on, let’s make a wish,” she tilted her head, closing her eyes and putting her palms together. “i wish wilbur’s bed was made out of feathers!”

“..is that gonna work?” he tilted his head in her direction.

“hm.. i don’t know. but i always like to try it,” she hummed with satisfaction, putting her hands back at her sides. “can i tell you a secret? i’ve always wanted to visit the fountain of wishes.”

the name rung a bell all the way in the back of wilbur’s mind. he remembered his father telling him stories every night about the fountain of wishes. he scowled at the thought of hin. phil would tell wilbur that his only wish was to meet a beautiful woman, but look where that got him.

“what would you wish for?” he asked, trying to shift the gears of his mind.

“i don’t know,” she said, contently, leaning forward to grab his hand. “maybe i’ll think of something later.”

wilbur flinched, something she didn’t see because she was dragging him into the store. he wondered if she could feel how damp and warm his palms were, but it looked like she didn’t mind. for some reason, their hands seemed to magically fit together like puzzle pieces.

his mind was churning again, thinking about the unknown feeling running through him. he felt suddenly aware of everything around him, and it was awful. yet, she kept giggling and smiling like it was just another day. he envied her power of optimism, even if it was the same thing he disliked about her.

uncomfortably, his mind felt as if he was put in a room of a thousand people, contributing and understanding each one of their conversations. as overwhelming as it was, it was how his brain regularly worked. how he somehow managed to get even an ounce of sleep every night, he'll never know.

his thoughts were unraveling before he could roll them back up, feeling tired of aimlessly following the long film of this and that and-

"do you have a favorite flavor?"

it all snapped away.

"uh- um, well, um-"

how was she able to do that?

"oh, right," she giggled. somehow, in the thousand person room that took place in his mind, her small laugh was the only thing bouncing off his skull. "you've never had ice cream before."

unable to process the sudden quiet of his mind, he simply shook his head. "n-no, i haven't."

"try this!" she held out a scoop of her favorite flavor and wilbur stared at it like it was a cure to the common cold.

shakily, he took it. even if it only existed as a transparent-phantom thing, he was surprised that it didn't slip out of his sweaty hands.

"do.. do i bite-"

"just give it a small lick. i know it'll be cold, but it'll taste good," her words felt like a small promise to him, the most comforting thing he'd heard in a while. yet, it was like talking about the weather to her.

god, what was the feeling? he couldn't exactly pinpoint it at all.

he followed her directions, scrunching his brows in a slight concern as he stuck his tongue out. she was right, it was cold. terribly cold. he thought his tongue would get stuck to it like in the old christmas movies tommy forced him to watch.

and yet, it tasted terribly good. it was such an unfamiliar feeling on his tongue, but it somehow had a certain kick that he enjoyed.

he smacked his lips a couple times, and nodded slightly, mumbling his words. "y-yeah, i like that one."

"great!" she spoke, going over to grab the ice cream scooper. the real thing stood still on the table, but the translucent version was in her hands as she scooped up some of the flavor. as long as she put it back in the right place, nothing would be messed up too badly.

as she finished up scooping her cone, she sighed dramatically. "oh gods, i forgot to get cash."

"you don't need to give him cash, angel, he won't even notice."

his tongue went numb- not from the ice cream, but from the small nickname he'd given her.

it was a small gesture, and he could probably play it off, but it stirred his intestines until he felt like throwing them up. he'd never willingly give someone a nickname. ever.

and the worst part? she noticed.

"did you call me angel?" she stopped her fit of panic over invisible cash to look at him, the corner of her mouth lifting in an asymmetrical smile.

"well- yeah, because you're.. you're an angel," wilbur stumbled, unable to pull something out of thin air. he's lied many times. to his mom, to tommy, to quackity. but for some reason lying to her didn't feel right on his tongue. "a-and you.. have a halo.. and stuff.."

she noticed how he fiddled with his fingers, and decided to spare him of the embarrassment by switching the topic to her day. she seemed passionate with talking about every small thing she'd done, and wilbur admired her attitude.

wilbur prided himself in his writing. his pen and paper were like a magical escape from his burdens. he had a specific way with words that would always get him praised by his parents when he was younger. but despite that, he was completely lost on a word to describe his feelings.

she dragged him back outside without a care in the world, looking around like she owned the place. she pointed to a bench, talking about how it was her favorite bench (to which wilbur began to wonder how one could have a favorite bench), and began guiding them towards it.

in the midst of her excitement, however, she made a wrong step on the curb and yelped. wilbur noticed this quickly, bringing a quick hand to her waist to catch her.

"woah, are you alright-?" he brought her back up carefully, checking to make sure that her and her ice cream were still intact. he checked both off in his mind.

"yeah- yeah i'm fine-" she muttered, and it was the first time he'd ever seen a glint of gloominess on her face. "sorry- that was embarrassing-"

"no need to be embarrassed," wilbur's tone was calm. not a monotone calm, but an assuring calm. one that was stranger to her too.

his hand remained still on her waist, his fingers trembling in such small beats. “wilbur?” her gaze slowly met his, and she could see a small droplet of worry beneath the pools of his irises. “can i tell you something?”

he nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowing in such a concerned manner that it almost cut his forehead in half. with his hand still on her waist, he guided her carefully to the bench.

she looked at the pavement, her words coming out in a string of small mumbles that made him feel like they were the only two beings ever. just him, an angel, and a bench. “i don’t.. i don’t usually tell people this,” she fiddled with the hem of her dress, her wings draping over the back of the bench. “but.. the- the way i-i d..”

wilbur stared at the angel- the carefree, optimistic, happy angel; while she broke down bit by bit. he felt like he was almost breaking the law, that he wasn’t allowed to see such a sight. but most importantly, he felt like he needed to help.

he was always gentle, there was no denying it. he spent a lot of time as a child examining bugs (which he called “friends”) and making sure they were okay. and the urge to care for anything in need grew with him, even as everything else changed.

he noticed that his hand was still on her hip, and he drew her closer to his body. the small gesture made her startled, but she quickly grew accustomed to his touch. she felt safe, and wilbur knew that.

she took a deep breath, and spoke. “we were playing a game of hide-and-seek,” she whispered, “i-i was always clumsy, everyone made fun of me.. nobody..”

her words trailed off again, and wilbur felt his heart aching. “nobody..?”

“nobody really.. liked.. me,” she huffed, her face turning away from him. he could tell that she didn’t speak about this much. “everyone hated me, actually. like you do..”

his heart was wrapped in thorns.

it was the clearest thing she’d said. like she had so much time to think about it and deduct it. he wanted to say something, wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her and scream at her. but he didn’t. he couldn’t- he felt paralyzed.

“i guess i tripped and fell or something, a-and i-” a bile swelled her throat. “it hurt. a lot. i was- i was screaming and crying for help b-but everyone ignored me. except for..”

her head lifted as she looked at him. it was the type of look in which he could study each pigment on her face, and he’d be able to use the rosiness of her cheeks to paint a breathtaking portrait.

“except for you.”

she smiled. and even through tears, her expression lit up the earth.

“me?” he whispered softly.

immediately, she nodded. she was so close to his face that she could see a tiny cut to the right of his adam’s apple. she suppressed a giggle as she thought about him struggling to shave, making all sorts of faces into his mirror.

“i was so scared and alone.. and then you came along with your big scythe and your scary hood. and you plunged your scythe into me chest- gods, i was so scared,” she giggled briefly at the thought, but her expression was genuine. “but you gave me peace.”

she leaned closer, wanting to wrap her arms around him and die a second time like that. but she knew he’d hate it.

“it was all i wanted in that moment.”

his eyes were droopy, staring from her left eye, to her right, and down at her parted lips. she was nothing short of beautiful. looking at her for that long felt like a mere privilege, forcing him to be speechless.. he squeezed her hip tighter just to hold her.

“i.. i wanted to thank you..” she whispered, so quiet that her vocal chords barely buzzed.

in his peripheral vision, he noticed how her eyelids fluttered softly. his sight blurred as she leaned in closer, and-

“but you always hated me.”

she leaned back in the seat, and wilbur’s disappointment split him in two. she was right there- right fucking there, but she was so out of reach. the only barrier? his own loathing. the irony of hating his hatred felt like a stab wound to his thorn-crowned heart.

and the worst part; she was unphased.

wilbur gulped as a stack of words piled themselves in his throat. that nasty, overwhelming feeling running through him again. “angel, i-”

“so, what’s your favorite color?” she asked in a light tone, licking at her ice cream.

a wave of dismay washed over his face. he couldn’t think. “t-teal?”

“really? i wouldn’t have guessed that,” she swung her legs beneath the bench, clearly unbothered by wilbur’s confusion. “you don’t really dress like a teal-lover. do you think the moon is real?"

what?

"no, bad question. hmm. what’s your favorite band?”

his heart fell into the pit of his stomach, thorns poking at his sides creating a terrible sting on his abdomen. he opened his mouth to speak- maybe cry and release his feelings; but nothing came up. not even an answer to her stupid question. it was nauseating.

she began talking about the sort of music she liked, but none of it struck his brain. he felt sick. he wanted to scream and sob and punch something. but he sat still like he was posing for a renaissance painting.

“hey, that reminds me,” she stood up abruptly, pointing her finger upwards, despite going unnoticed by wilbur. “i gotta get cash for the ice cream man! i’ll be right back.”

he didn’t even realize she spoke, even when she was repeating his name and trying to get his attention.

why was he disappointed at the lost opportunity? why did he want to curl up in a ball and tug his hair out? what was that stupid feeling that was haunting him all afternoon? it was tearing him apart limb by limb. what was the word, what was-

oh.

oh.

it was love. he loved her. it was as simple as a four letter word.

the last time he told someone he loved them, he was begging his father not to leave. as he watched the man- the god- his father walk away, he realized that the word meant nothing. it only brought him pain; and if he didn't love, he didn't have to feel that agony.

his stomach turned, breathing becoming alarmingly shallow. too many memories flushed his mind, and his throat tightened.

"hello? wilbur?"

"don't come back." he stood up suddenly, ice cream falling to the ground next to him.

"what?" she flinched, staring up at him with terror on her face that he didn't even read. he was so blinded by his anger. the light of her halo flickered.

"i said, don't come back." it was almost a subconscious thing, how he lifted his hand into his hair and threw the flower crown onto the sidewalk. right next to his ice cream.

his throat burned harshly. all of his muscles tensed up in such a way that definitely wasn't healthy. he could barely even hear his own words through the pounding in his ears, and he most importantly couldn't hear her heart ripping in two.

"wilbur-"

"stop. stop this. stop following me everywhere, stop- stop acting like you care-" his hands balled up into fists at his sides, "stop everything! i never want to see you again!"

and that was all that was needed for her to turn around and fly off, and that was all that he needed for him to realize what a complete moron he was.

his walk home was nothing short of shameful. and this time he walked through hell with messy flower petals in his hair and a stupid yellow sweater and dumb tears in his eyes.

he didn't realize that quackity, a man who was about to lose twenty dollars, was watching him from afar. he cursed under his breath, biting his bottom lip until his hand brushed against his pocket.

tommy's keycard.

-

he looked at himself in the reflection of a lava pool, making all sorts of scrunchy and over dramatic faces. he experimented with the way the hood fell over his hair and how it made his furrowed eyebrows look.

he made his way to the elevator, admiring how the scythe looked when he tossed it around in his hands. and when it asked for a confirmation of identity, he pulled out the keycard, swiping it before anyone could see.

he'd continue to try to do tricks with the scythe until he got to the top, waving a hand to the guard until he realized he had to stay in character. his lips suddenly pursed and his eyes became hooded.

to his delight, an angel was there waiting for him.

"wilbur-" she stood up suddenly, her hands shaking at her sides. the light in her tear filled eyes was nearly gone, the glow of her halo barely there. "i wanted to a-apologize-"

"come with me," he spoke, as monotone as he could. his hand reached out towards her, and she hesitantly took it.

with uncertainty written all over her face, she spoke nervously. "where.. where are we going-?"

"i want to make up for what.. happened.. last night.." he muttered, dragging her underground.

she held her flickering halo carefully as they zoomed to the elevator, watching him jam the buttons with his finger. she'd never seen someone so eager.

as soon as the doors parted, he forced her inside with such an anticipation she couldn't pinpoint. it made her feel uneasy, how weird he had been acting.

"wilbur?" her voice came out as more of a squeak, taking his other hand in hers. she looked right at him with swelled eyelids. "this.. this isn't a trick, is it?"

his eyes widened, eyebrows unknotting a crease on his forehead. "what?" he practically laughed, "why- why would it be a trick?"

"i don't know.. you just seem.." her voice wavered, eye contact faltering. "nevermind, it's stupid."

"look at me, love," the nickname was.. new. "i don't want to hurt you. i'm gonna make everything up, okay?"

she hummed an agreement, eyes fluttering to make contact with his. his face was soft, just like the other night. but something seemed missing.

"i wanna show you everything about my home," the excitement in his voice was almost raw. "i live in a palace, did you know that?"

"i didn't," she smiled, a forced one. "are you gonna show me around?"

at that, the elevator's doors opened, and she was hit with a sudden wave of heat that nearly made her fall over.

and he almost didn't catch her.

tears started to swell up her eyes as she clung onto his arm, nails digging into broken fabric. soft yelps came out of her mouth.

"love, are you alright?" he spoke worriedly, and the amount of emotion in his voice made her even more lightheaded.

"i-i am-" she whispered, getting back onto her feet. "its just- y'know- what.. what i told you last night..?"

he nodded his head, a soft "oh" coming out of his mouth. but it didn't seem like an ounce of actual empathy lied behind his eyes. a tint of red glazed it instead. she felt odd.

did he not remember? or did he choose not to?

when she was able to walk properly, he led her around. if it wasn't for the burning pit in her stomach, she'd be extremely excited. but she had a feeling that something deeper was lying under the lava pools.

"this is the palace," he sighed, gesturing to the building. "isn't it cool?"

"it is.." she muttered. this awe, she could not fake. the large, intricate structures of gold and red and the occasional fire bounced off her glassy eyes. "can we go inside? maybe you can show me your room-"

"i.." he stiffened up suddenly. "i don't think that's a good idea."

"oh.." she muttered, trying to read his firm facial expression. but she couldn't.

a thick silence fell upon them. the only noticeable thing was how her halo flicked on and off with inconsistent beats.

"hey, i have to.. do something.. how about you stay here until i'm finished, okay? maybe you can talk to my mom or.. or talk to the hellhounds," his voice was unconvincing, but she still nodded, even as disappointed as she was.

and she watched him walk away, turning the corner away from her. she couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of disgust rummaging through her. the constant stares of demons around her didn't make anything better.

her feelings were mixed. maybe he's having a good day or- or maybe he's really considering peace between them.

but what if it really was a trick?

her soft facial expressions fell into her lap, weighing her options. she always sought to find the good in people, always trying and trying to think positive. but even after she revealed everything- everything she couldn't admit out loud, he turned her away. and there was no right explanation for that, no matter how beautiful his palace was.

she straightened up, fists clenched at her sides. she wasn't going to take it. after going through so much of his hatred for so long, she didn't like him practically making fun of her death. she hated it.

she was going to look for him and tell him all of her raw feelings.

as he rounded the corner, his back hit the wall and his knees failed. his breathing was labored as he ran a blackened hand through his changing hair. he could feel the skin literally crawl off of him, and he was delighted to have his normal look back.

quackity sighed against the wall, catching up to his quickened breath. "now all he has to do is find her. and they're forced to make up. and i win my twenty bucks," he muttered under his lips. "god, quackity, you genius."

his laughs felt amazing to churn out. pretending to be wilbur was exhausting him to the core, but it was worth each and every penny of the twenty dollars he'd be receiving soon.

but, through all of his buzzing victory, he didn't notice an angry little angel looking for a certain grim reaper. he didn't notice her stomping around with her fists clenched at her sides.

and he definitely didn't notice her tripping and falling into the pit of lost souls.

-

wilbur's day went on horribly.

he didn't get any sleep. not that this was any different from usual; but this time his night was spent tossing and turning in his stone bed trying to think of how he was going to talk to her.

his bones ached when he got up, and no amount of stretches could heal the knot in his neck.

work was even worse. especially considering the fact that everytime he heard some sort of high pitched noise, he'd think it was a little angel fluttering her wings at him, and then he'd be able say the speech he had written up in his mind.

he was regretting his word choice of "i never want to see you again" on top of his regret for the rest of his blown out word vomit.

but as he walked from the elevator to his palace, he couldn't help but hear a sort of cry for help. and it sounded oddly similar to the angel's.

"wilbur? w-wilbur.. i know- i know you hate me but this- this hurts -"

was it?

"its not fffunny anymore- i know you got your kick out of tricking- me- but this is- ow!"

it couldn't be.

"i won't bother you again! i promise! just please- let- let me out of here- help me.. please..? it's- it's -"

he'd been hearing her voice in his head all day in somewhat intervals. but this felt more real, more raw.

he stumbled on his feet. he knew where it was coming from. he heard noises of desperate cries from it everyday, but the thought that this might be real? it scared him to his core.

worry rushed over him quicker than second thought, and he rushed over to the pit of lost souls in a panic. hoarse, raspy screams of "angel!" flew out of his throat as he scrambled to climb the volcano-like structure.

-

she still had a lot of questions for wilbur.

not the type of, "what's your favorite color?" or "what's your favorite band?" questions. more like, "wilbur? hello? please help- this hurts- are you still there?"

and she was starting to lose hope in the fact that those questions might be answered.

one things for sure; her curiosity will be the death of her.

unless he's got the courage to do something about it.

11.4k || 8.12.23 || masterlist here!

taglist (dm or send an ask to be added!) — @sixofshadowandbone @theoneandonlyyeti @harbingerofheartbreak @starsyoubreaklikesugardust @mcr-pr-fob @sapphic-soot @flynn-thebin @puppyburbites @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @merakiaes @aimi-chann @axthrial @lololol00 @deadphantomsociety @hometown-smile @qweengigi @kisstheskin

in case you did not read the beginning (its a long wall of text i understand 🙂‍↕️), i do not write for wilbur soot anymore and do not condone or support any of his actions. therefore, part two will not be coming :(

[anarcoqueer1994]

I need more of Eddie telling the band! Need it! Fix my brusied heart! Fix Steve's bruised heart! Tell me that he's everything! He is everything!!

Part 1 here.

Hope this fixes it <3 I'm going to admit my toxic trait is being angsty and not always being the best at fixing it. But I hope this is good. Thank you for reading!!

"Dude, what was that?" Gareth finally breaks the awkward silence between the 4 of them. They all look at Eddie.

He presses his palms to his eyes until he can see little white dots when he opens them again to stare at his three best friends. He feels like dirt. Actually less than dirt. He cared so much about what they would think of his dating Steve, that not only did hurt his favorite person in the whole world, but he did not even trust his friends enough to give them a chance. He finally lets out a sigh before saying "That was me fucking up. Like royally fucking up.".

"You going to explain, maybe?" Jeff asks, slowly putting the pieces together but confirmation from Eddie would be nice.

"I, um, I mean Steve and I have been seeing each other for the past 6 months, since Spring Break actually." Eddie finally says, holding his breath, waiting for a response.

"You guys have been seeing each other for six months?" Garreth parrots back in disbelief.

"Yea. He's my boyfriend...well he was. I actually don't know now." Eddie says sadly.

"You have been together for like half a year, and you didn't tell us, why?" Caleb asks, confused in why Eddie would hide this.

"I don’t know, man. It's just, in high school we would talk so much shit about people like Steve. And I know Steve better now, so I know how much of a great guy he is but like he is still an ex-jock. And I was worried about, you know." He mumbles.

"You were worried what we would think. Man, what is wrong with you?" Jeff laughs. "Eddie Munson isn't supposed to care what people think, even your loser friends."

'Besides, if you say he's good, we trust you, okay?" Gareth adds. "But I do have a couple of questions."

Eddie can't help but smile at his friends, even though his stomach still hurts thinking about the look on Steve’s face from a few minutes prior. But he indulges Gareth. "Ask away, I guess I owe you guys."

"Does he treat you alright?" Gareth asks simply.

Eddie nods softly. "He treats me better than anyone I've ever been with. He's always so soft and gentle with me. I swear, he looks at me like I'm something special, and I don't know why. Sometimes I don't think I deserve it."

"Do you love him?" Gareth follows up.

"God, more than anything." Eddie says with out hesitatation.

"And do you think he loves you?" He asks simply.

"I know he loves me. He tells me ever day." And not just with his words, but with his actions too. Steve shows Eddie he loves him every day with all the little things does for him.

"Then why are you still sitting down here, dude?" Gareth asks. "You better go and fix this before you lose him." He says it likes its the most obvious thing in the world.

Eddie hurriedly nods. Gareth is right. He has to talk to Steve, like now. He practically jumps up from the table, nearly tripping as does.

As he runs past his friends and up the steps, he looks at the cupcakes Steve had sat down on the small table by the steps. They looked homemade, a little messy but perfect. Steve had piped little silly hearts on them all, and in the center were little frosting dice. He can't help the way it makes his heart skip a beat. Steve was ridiculously romantic, and Eddie loves that.

He continues up the steps, two at a time, hoping Steve and the kids are up there, but they aren't. He frantically makes his way to door, only to see them sitting in Steve’s car through the window, still in the driveway. He's relieved.

As soon as he opens the door, all their eyes shoot up. He can see the look on Steve’s face, obviously trying to hold back tears. Even now, Steve is trying to be strong with the kids. Their eyes though looked like they could kill Eddie, even Dustin. He fucked up badly.

He nervously makes his way over to Steve's open window. When he gets there, Steve doesn't say a word, doesn't even look at him, just stares forward. Eddie tries anyway. "Stevie, can we talk...please? Alone?" He looks at the other 4 in the car.

Steve squeezes the wheel harder. He knows if he talks, he will start crying. And he doesn't want to do that in front of Eddie. Fuck, this hurts so bad. It felt like when Nancy called him and his love bullshit all over again. He is bullshit...he is nothing. Just a washed up ex jock, who is just there when people need him. He doesn't get the happy ending, the true love.

Dustin speaks up "You're an asshole, man. Go away." Not even Mike speaks up to defend him. Who does though, surprises him.

"He's not...." Steve whispers, unable to speak any louder. Steve can't see it, but Eddie sees all the looks of pitty shot at him. Eddie knows Steve shouldn't be defending him, but he is.

"No, Stevie. I am. I am an asshole. And I'm so sorry. Please can we talk?" Eddie begs.

Steve lets out a sigh before turning to the "kids." "Go on. It's fine. Go and clean up your shit so Mrs. Wheeler isn't mad." He tries to say in a straight voice.

They reluctantly get out but still shoot Eddie dirty glances as they head in. Eddie nervously walks to the passenger side and gets in.

"What do you want to talk about?" Steve chokes out, still not looking at him.

"What I said in there wasn't the truth. Steve, baby...I am so sorry. I did not mean it..." He tries pathetically.

Steve's hands are shaking as they stay rested on the steering wheel. He finally turns his head to look at Eddie. "Then why did you say it, Eddie? If you didn't mean it, why did you say it?!" His voices cracks, as a little tear escapes, running down his cheek.

All Eddie wants to do is reach over and wipe it away, but he thinks better of it. "Because I'm an idiot, sweetheart." He replies softly. "I shouldn't have hidden us, but today everyone was ganging up on me, and I got overwhelmed...and it just came out. You are not nothing, baby."

"Come on, Eddie! There had to be some truth to it, or it wouldn't have come out. I am not an idiot." Steve says in his bitchiest voice, his wall going up, trying to protect himself from more hurt.

It feels like a punch to his gut. Eddie really made Steve believe their could be some truth in his words. "Steve....I promise you, I was just being some vain asshole, too worried about my reputation as a cool metalhead." He says, knowing how lame it sounds to say out loud. "How could I, Eddie "the freak" Munson, possibly have ended up with the prettiest boy in school."

"What you said was fucked up, you know..." another tear escaping, but the punch is gone from his words.

"I know...I know. I am so sorry, princess. I'll do anything to make it up to you." Eddie pleads softly.

Steve gives him a sad smile, anger melting away leaving only hurt. "I'm just having a hard time believing that I'm not nothing...I mean, you didn't want to tell your friends. And like, I know I can be a little much sometimes, and overbearing. And I'm sorry if I embarrassed you...."He whispers. He feels like nothing, like bullshit, like trash. He isn't endgame, he's never anyone's endgame.

Hearing Steve Harrington apologize for being embarrassing makes Eddie feel like he is in some alternate dimension, maybe he never left the upside down. But more concerningly, to hear Steve sound so small, broke him. Steve was the bravest, sweetest, bitchiest, protective, hottest person he knew but right now, Steve felt small. And it destroyed him to know he caused this. He caused Steve to feel unimportant...unloved. and he had promised himself that he would never do that to him.

He reaches over and grabs Steve's hand, squeezing softly. "God, baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who was so self centered, that I did the worst thing I have ever done. I hurt you." He moves his other hand to Steve's cheek, and to his relief, Steve leans into, doesn't pull away. "I somehow made the person who is everything to me, feel like nothing. And that just won't do."

"Eds..." Steve whispers.

"Stevie, I promise you, I will spend everyday trying to make it up to you."

"You...you don't have to...." Steve says softly, sadly.

"Yea, I do. Because Steve, you are everything. You are it for me, sweetheart. There is not a single day I will let go by without you knowing that. I will never let anyone, including myself, make you feel like you are nothing." Eddie leans closer, resting his forehead against Steve's.

By this point, tears were freely falling down Steve’s face. But now he's smiling, even laughing a little. "You are such a sap, Eddie." He jokes before leaning in and placing a tiny kiss against Eddie's lips. "And I love you so much."

Eddie feels a million times lighter as he keeps holding Steve. "I love you too, baby. And you are everything...you are everything....you are everything. " He repeats as I to make sure Steve understands how true it is, not leaving any room for doubt in Steve’s head.

Thank you for reading again! Also side note, did not want to drag this out but definitely see the others eating all the cupcakes downstairs, leaving only one and Steve and Eddie share it.

Tag list (you all are so sweat) There are more but the max mentions was 50. I will reboot and add more

@notsopretty-notsopink @pukner @justforthedead89 @lololol-1234 @little-crickett @thing-a-ling @swimmingbirdrunningrock @oldwitcheshat @my-baek-hurts @thequeenrainacorn @derangedhermit @plantzzsandpencilzzs @littlewildflowerkitten @ronance-is-my-wife @xjessicafaithx @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @sofadofax @just-a-tiny-void @whalesharksart @death-thee-nervousqueer @estrellami-1 @starman-jpg @oblivion-void @thequeenauden @thealwithnoname @sapphirecobalt-1 @thelady-mary @silentlycorrectingyourgrammar85 @theluckyalien @cheeseyberg @breealtair @messrs-weasley @heartthingsstuff @paintsplatteredandimperfect @tillystealeaves @pearynice @bela-valdis @beckkthewreck @breadboi66 @th30ra3k3n @0o-queendean-o0 @spideysteveloml @lauras2912 @seths-rogens @lovely-little-lass @envyadams-vs-me @meccaminayah @heartstarstar-blog @weirdandabsurd42 @virginlemontea @stevesbipanic @yulecogs

@sereinpetrichor @kittycat1810

[atrwriting]

chapter fourteen: the wolf and the dragon (modern!gangleader!aemond x barowner!reader)

look at that king prince ponder his war crimes

back with another installment of everyone's favorite toxic dragon rider in this modern au

as always, warnings: no smut, violence, death of lucerys

chapter fourteen...

you awoke to aemond’s arm wrapped tightly around your midsection. his strong arm smelled like musk and fading soap, and there was nothing that could ever compare to it. you could feel his breath on the back of your neck and shivers went up your spine. every hair on your body stood up, ready at attention when you felt his body shift and pull you closer into him. his body was pressed firmly against yours and for a split second… you could’ve forgotten the traumatic events of the last few days. all you could feel was his warmth and how fucking nice it felt. reality was a bitch of a bitch, and it began to nag at your nerves as you began to think about all of the problems that sat outside your door. a stark, like yourself — now that deserved a scoff from each of your family members. how could you be such a coward, hiding in your —

“i was right,” he grunted into your hair, interrupting your thoughts.

“about what?” you yawned.

“you’re a terrible bed mate,” he spat. “you steal blankets.”

you giggled, throwing blankets over him to share the warmth. you nuzzled your weight back against him and sighed, content.

“i meant it when i said i would make it up to you,” he spoke against your neck. “i don’t intend on making the same mistakes again.”

you hummed. “you can make it up to me by letting me sleep.”

“that probably won’t be happening, sweetheart,” he whispered.

you grunted. "you want to get off my black list? why?"

“because aegon has been itching to come in this room.”

you pushed yourself to your elbows then, staring at him in disbelief and anger. how could you have not known? how could aegon not have made his presence known, and how could aemond not tell you?

“where is he?!”

“the living room,” aemond sighed, indifferent.

you scoffed and sent aemond a glare. he shrugged.

fucking asshole.

“aegon!” you called. “come in!”

immediately, you heard footsteps. they were heavy, and fast, but not faster than the turning of the doorknob. aemond and you were much too tired to turn away, and aegon was too greedy to give you time to put yourselves together.

“lovebirds!” he sang. “i am so glad we have chosen to leave our troubles in the past, especially since we have quite large fish to fry today.”

you groaned loudly into the pillow. “what is it with targaryen men not letting me sleep?!”

you peaked from underneath your blanket to look at aegon. surprisingly, he did not appear or even smell like he had been near alcohol in some time. his eyes weren't bloodshot, his hair wasn’t as messy, and he wasn’t shaky or dazed.

you grew concerned.

you pulled the sheet up towards your collar bone, eyeing aegon with worry. your lips parted softly in disbelief as your eyes narrowed onto his form. you watched him narrow his eyes back at you with an equal mount of concern, but also confusion.

you finally asked your pressing question.

“aegon,” you began. “are you… sober?”

“unfortunately, my dear... yes,” he spoke. “enough chit chat. i have a plan. a shit plan, but a plan nonetheless."

---

aegon’s bright idea was a bit uncomfortable, but safest for everyone involved.

first there was a matter of the bar.

a son had been killed, which was considered one of the highest offenses — even if it could be legally considered to not be aemond’s fault.

it was a hard decision, but you closed the bar for a week to keep your employees away for their own safety. you gave them all a paid week of vacation, possible as the bands from the nights prior had allowed you a little extra money to be able to do so. the money from the entertainment was supposed to be a cushion for unforeseen events, but you reasoned with yourself that this was as good of an unforeseen event as any. it hurt you, and your wallet — but safety was the highest priority.

there was also a matter of the safety and integrity of the building and your home above it. aegon had stated that you were also not safe within its walls, and unfortunately you could see his logic behind it. a broken clock is right twice a day, and apparently a drunken asshole like aegon had to get a lick in somewhere. working above your place of business only provided convenience in some areas. when it came to the matter that the business below it was in danger, so was your home. it was a hard decision, but the choice to vacate the premises for the time being was in everyone’s best interest.

not before you put in a security system, however. if someone was going to burn down your building, you were going to get them on tape. the “j.d.” at the end of your name provided you with some feeling of safety and assurance in times such as these, especially the friends you made because of it down at the local police station and county clerk’s office, even if wasn’t of much use to you before this situation.

the next part of the plan… was the most uncomfortable for you.

you would be living with the targaryen family — yes, family… not just the brothers — for the time being, for at least a week. when you described it as a house, they reinforced that it was an estate. you raised your eyebrow at the word choice, as it was the twenty-first century and the word estate usually meant a legal entity, rather than a physical one. rest assured, the targaryens meant an actual estate.

and it was fucking massive.

it looked like something that came out of the old history books.

gravel roadways, fine green grass, elegant flower bushes adorning walkways, gray stone spanning at least a half a mile high, and the classics statutes look as if they were stolen out of those books. the targaryens had always portrayed themselves as royalty, but now… being here… it was like they actually were.

you should’ve known, honestly. the targaryens were an old, powerful family, and there was no reason why they wouldn’t be in possession of one, with many rooms, with many inhabitants, many staff members, and many acres. the dwelling itself was, for lack of a better word — royal.

you almost didn’t believe it when aemond’s motorcycle came to a halt on the gravel road leading up to its massive front doors.

doors. plural. not door, and definitely not singular.

“seven hells..." you rasped from behind him, unlatching your hands from around his waist.

“new relations do not usually call for meeting families so soon… but, unfortunately, you’re about to become quite acquainted with my mother.”

you smiled. “brought a bottle of rose just for her.”

he clenched his jaw. “how did you know it was her favorite?”

you quirked an eyebrow at him. “i remember important details, aemond, especially when i need to be a kiss up.”

the walk from where they parked their bikes to the front doors was a long one. the expensive gravel underneath your feet crunched, and you had half a mind to steal aemond's bike and never look back. however, it was hard to jump ship when aemond's heavy hand was at your lower waist and forced you upwards towards the threshold of the entryway to his home. his massive fucking home...

"this is a terrible plan," you muttered.

"my mother will love you," aegon scoffed.

it was aemond's turn to scoff. "this is the first place they would think us to be, aegon."

"what, they're going to destroy the mansion that rhaenyra feels entitled to?" aegon scoffed once more, making his descent towards the double front doors. he shook his head as if he couldn't believe that aemond would question him.

aegon walked ahead of you two, leaving you and aemond to walk in stride together. you wanted to take his hand, but you were worried that you would be rejected. it took aemond far too long to finally come to turn with his feelings — you weren't sure if he was ready to make it apparent to the rest of his family.

"is your mother involved in your... business?" you ventured.

aemond swallowed. "the... business that can be made public, yes. she is the face for it. our grandfather, otto, has a hand in both. my mother's bodyguard, cole, mainly protects my mother from any threats that make themselves apparent... in light of my business."

"so she'll be fine with the bartender showing up next to you?" you attempted to joke.

"aegon was right: she will love you," aemond answered, but did not elaborate. "she will also just be happy that a clothed woman shows up with aegon."

"she'll just be happy any woman at all shows up with aemond," aegon threw over his shoulder. "clothed or not."

you giggled, flashing bright eyes at aemond. he rolled his eyes at his brother's and almost threw him a snarl, or shot him — but it was almost as if he would feel you turn your head towards him, catching his attention. it was then that aemond faced you, and smiled with you. your gaze softened at him, and you couldn't help but let the warmth wash over you.

"no chick flick moments," you spat, but your smile remained.

"then why're you blushing, hmm?"

you swatted at his arm, and he chuckled once more.

when you had finally walked through the threshold of the mansion, you felt your breath catch in your throat. the guards had opened the doors for the three of you, and you fell into place between aegon and aemond. they guided you to the left, where alicent, otto, and cole were in the living room.

alicent's dark eyes were filled with torment. she had a protective hand placed on the pendant of her religious amulet, while her free hand held her other elbow. her lips were pursed in worry, but when her eyes met her sons... she fled for them.

"are either of you hurt?" she gushed, standing before you. her eyes flickered between both of her sons, each of her hands reaching out to grasp one of their arms. you stepped backwards, hoping to give them their intimate moment, but aegon and aemond both reached back to steady your back and keep you in place. you could've killed them, but you wouldn't have had time. alicent's eyes met yours. "you... you're from the bar."

you swallowed. "yes, mrs. targaryen. i'm sorry to have, um... intruded."

"you're not intruding," both brothers spat, keeping their eyes on their mother.

you swallowed again, eyes averting to anything in the room you thought could save you.

alicent spoke next. "please... everyone, sit. we have much to discuss."

when they all retreated to their seats and alicent wavered in front of you, you took that as your cue to reach into your bag and take out what you brought for her. a bottle of rose.

"mrs. targaryen... I know you probably didn't expect to see me today..." you began, holding the bottle out for her. "but i remembered that this was your favorite."

she took the bottle in her hands and inspected the label with intense eyes. from behind her, both otto and cole stepped towards her and fell behind her once she had taken the bottle from you. you honestly meant it as a nice gesture, but you realized then that the men were worried for alicent's safety. once aemond and aegon realized what was happening, they stepped towards the group.

"we should have the kitchen inspect it, daughter," her father stated. "these are... times where you can never be too cautious."

you scrunched your eyebrows. "i'm sorry... it's sealed, so i figured it was safe. it's a gift for you, but if you would feel more comfortable if I took the first sip... i wouldn't mind."

"no, that's alright," alicent whispered, raising her gaze to yours. "let us share it. the seven know we need it."

you smiled sadly at her, and she returned your smile.

"count me in," aegon shouted from his place, providing comic relief for the group.

aemond glared at his brother.

“perhaps it would be best to discuss family business in private,” otto spoke to his daughter as his gaze resting upon you.

“she stays,” alicent replied, eyes now on you. “she’s clothed and she’s been seen in daylight — so she’s not aegon’s.”

“excuse—“ aegon’s voice was heard, but it was halted by a thud into his side that could be heard from behind you.

“we are seeing each other, mother,” aemond replied.

your breath caught in your throat, your gaze threatening to drift down to where aemond’s shoes were on the floor beside you. you wanted to hide — behind aemond, behind aegon, hands over your eyes — anything to escape the heavy gaze from otto hightower who seemed to loom over you.

you felt a hand on your shoulder, and your eyes snapped to it.

it was that of a woman’s.

alicent’s.

“i am happy to have you here, dear," she spoke. "for my son, of course — but now i finally have someone to shake a bottle of pink with."

"alicent —" began otto, before he was interrupted.

"sit." alicent's order was final.

dinner in the targaryen mansion was… weird, to say the least.

okay — very weird.

not only was it weird — but it was silent. absolutely fucking silent. the type of silent that makes you nervous to swallow, lest the sound fills the entire fucking room. you couldn’t help the feeling of wiping your mouth after bite because even though the brothers were clad in black leather and walked hand in hand with debauchery, their table manners were nothing less than impeccable.

you didn’t not dare speak — hoping, praying that aemond. fuck — you’d even settle for fucking aegon to say something inappropriate at this point. anything. just fucking anything.

but there was nothing. you sat in between aemond and aegon, waiting for everyone to finish their food and for this to all be over.

the entire family dined together, except for cole — who stood guard by the door, casting a judgmental glance towards you every now and then. you had half a mind to excuse yourself and find the nearest bathroom, but aemond and aegon both looked unbothered.

that was until the door opened.

two white haired children ran through the door into the elaborate dining room.

twins. a boy and a girl.

and they ran straight for aegon.

aegon immediately pushed his chair away from the table to allow both children to run into his lap.

you sat there, stunned. you watched as aegon pulled them both into a hug, overcome with joy.

that was when aemond leaned forward, whispering into your ear.

"his children," he whispered.

"they're beautiful," you responded.

"oi! — rude manners on both of you, aye?" aegon spun in his seat, ready to introduce you to his son and daughter. "this is jaehaera and jaehaerys. say hello to uncle aemond's girlfriend."

who knew such beautiful kids could come from a handsome, yet rancid man like aegon. they were blonde, purple-eyed toddlers who had as big of a smile as their father. your eyes found aegon's face then, who... for once... looked happy. happy. actually happy.

you laughed then, and aegon joined in.

"very nice to meet you both," you smiled.

"leave her be, aegon," aemond grunted.

you side-eyed aemond and scoffed before turning back to the children. you leaned forward, placing a hand to cover the side of your mouth. purposefully, you loudly whispered to the children, "uncle aemond is very grumpy."

the children giggled and aegon joined in.

someone clear their throat from across the table. you had only been acquainted with the folk in this house for a few hours, but otto hightower had cleared his throat enough for you to be able to recognize it without seeing it. you would've rolled your eyes if you did not feel his stare burning into the side of your head.

"grandpa's grumpy, too," aegon spat, setting his children down. "take a seat children."

"aegon —" otto began.

"jaehaerys is my heir, and jaehaera is his sister," aegon spat, losing all of his joy from before. "they stay."

otto did not disagree.

"enough," aemond spat. "it is time we discuss the manner at hand."

you stayed silent as the family spoke.

"i agree, grandson — what were you thinking?" otto spat, apprently not one to wait. "a boy is dead!"

"a boy who once took my brother's eye," aegon spat. "it was an accident — but do we really need to mourn him?"

otto slammed a heavy fist onto the table. "we mourn not him, but our safety! our security! do you have any idea what this has done?"

"father..." alicent spoke, her gaze threatening to look upon the face of her father rather than straight head onto the table.

"what will lecturing me do, grandsire?" aemond spat, holding the eye contact with otto that his daughter couldn't muster. "an accident, yes — but one i do not grieve. we need to think of our next move, not waste the time before they enact theirs."

otto raised his eyebrows in disbelief, the shake of his head following in suit. with one heavy, deep breath — the closest thing otto hightower would get to a cleansing, deep breath — he finally spoke.

"his death was officially ruled an accident, even without our connections in the police department," he sighed. "it was an accident — but rhaenyra will not see it as so."

"no," alicent spoke, leaning back into her chair and sighing. she raised the glass of pink wine to her lips as she stare straight ahead, through the chairs and very walls of the mansion that stood in the path of her gaze. she looked far and wide, lost in her own aimless stare, but the answer was not there — nor was rhaenyra, nor rhaenyra's forgiveness. you saw it in alicent's eyes then — as most likely did everyone else. the realization. the torment. the guilt. the shame. the betrayal. the doom. alicent's final words were the final words on the topic of the accident, and the final nail in the coffin of lucerys velaryon. "no. rhaenyra will not."

[eardefenders]

Sherlock & Co - Mailbag Episode 2 Transcript

00:00-00:30 Intro Music

00:27-00:34 *Sounds of a violin playing fade in*

00:34 Sherlock: You see? You see what I mean?

00:37 John: I…don’t.

00:39 Sherlock: Listen! *scoffs* Listen, closely this time. Shh. *resumes playing the bit from the fade in*

00:43 John: Argh. *pause* For God’s sake.

*Sherlock keeps playing*

00:46 John: Sherlock, please mate. We’ve got questions to get through here.

*Sherlock keeps playing*

00:52 John: Maaaate. Matey, mate mate mate mate.

00:55 Sherlock: Did you hear it this time?

00:57 John: Yeah. Sure. Uhh, right. So let’s dive into the discord chat. The brand spanking new discord for Sherlock and Co members. Brimming with Stamfords, Irregulars, and Diogene-sohmy God. There’s thousands of messages. Um, right. Should probably been keeping tabs on those questions. All right I’m going to scroll up and pick one f-from um the sssixteenth of January. Here we go! Come on down…IdleVice! Uh, your question is, “If you could make a Spotify playlist for each other of your own favorite songs, what would some of the highlights be and would you be willing to share the playlists with us. Ooh hoohoho. Uuuhhm. I don’t know if I’d ever get around to actually, y’know, putting the playlist together, as, as such, but what I-I would get Sherlock to listen to. Ummm mmmm probably Elbow? Elbow are a band from the north of England. Uh, Salford I think. But they have, uh, a few strings sort of. I-I don’t know what it’s called-but, elements that involve violins. Um, and all that jazz. Heh. Uh well not jazz! Uh, literally, not jazz. Uh, yeah, Sherlock, what about me?

02:07 Sherlock: Hm?

02:08 John: If you could make a playlist of songs for me what would it be?

02:12 Sherlock: I probably would never do that, Watson.

02:16 John: Okay. Uh, could you expand on that?

02:19 Sherlock: It’s a task that I wouldn’t find that fulfil-Vivaldi.

02:23 John: Uhh, right. Vivaldi. Yep. Anything else pop into mind?

02:29 Sherlock: Pop.

02:31 John: Pop? Is that-what’s that?

02:33 Sherlock: It’s a genre of music.

02:35 John: Uh, right, you’d make a pop playlist for me?

02:38 Sherlock: I’d probably enlist Mrs. Hudson to do that.

02:41 John: Fair enough. And why pop?

02:43 Sherlock: Because it’s an abbreviation for ‘popular music’.

02:45 John: No, I know that.

02:47 Sherlock: You like popular culture, therefore pop music could very well be your cup of green tea.

02:54 John: It’s, it’s just cup of tea. Bu-uh-uh, well, okay, uh, thank you for that. Uh, back to the discord dudes and dudettes. Um, not that I was implying any kind of masculine energy to the use of the word dudes. Dudes will remain, uh, um, an-an-an-androgynous here. My…dudes. Bit like the word mate! I do throw it around. Ummm. Some people just think it’s for blokes. Don’t know why. Uh, anyway. Here we go. Leaf-onk, layff, layfonk? I hope I’m saying that right. Uh, Leif-Leif*onk* asks, ‘Has Sherlock ever hit a vape?”

03:28 Sherlock: Yes.

03:29 John: Lovely. They’d also like to know the flavor.

03:31 Sherlock: Menthol.

03:32 John: D-do you want to expand?

03:35 Sherlock: Mm, not really.

03:37 John: Did you like it?

03:38 Sherlock: It was satisfactory, I suppose.

03:41 John: *sighs* Another thrilling q and a session with the master detective. Here we go! Number one archie fan-He-he-heeyyy! Archie! Found your number one fan mate. Heh. Think they also go by potpourri. Not sure. Don’t really know how discord works because I was born in 1989. Anyway! Number one Archie fan asks, do you have a favorite classical piece? Or a favorite composer, perhaps?

04:05 Sherlock: Mozart, generally. Can often be tied to my mood. What about Vivaldi? You said Vivaldi earlier?

04:12 Sherlock: That was a recommendation to you.

04:14 John: But not you?

04:14 Sherlock: Definitely not.

04:16 John: Great.

04:17 Sherlock: Uh, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky. But I am often driven by whatever phase I feel I’m in.

04:23 John: And we’re in a Mozart phase now, are we?

04:26 Sherlock: We are indeed.

04:27 John: Fab. Right, uh, Reeonk asks-ohkay, ok, I see what you’re doing now. Cause of. Cause of Jonk. Okahaha. Let’s all laugh at Jonk-John, I mean.

04:40 Sherlock: *laughs*

04:41 John (affectionately): Oh, ge-Shut up, you big idiot.

04:44 Sherlock: *still laughing*

04:45 John (affectionately annoyed): Shut it. Ha. Uhhhh, we’ll cut that bit. I swear to God. Right! Reonk, who I think also goes by Perfo, if I click here. But yes, as I was saying, millennial at the wheel. Sorry. Reonk’s first question, “Hey John, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?” Uhhhum, *clicks tongue* look, I’ve got to be something airborne. Um, uh I’m sorry, but I have to. Y-y-you can’t have the chance to fly and turn it down, so, uh, I’m a bird.

05:09 Sherlock: Or a bug.

05:10 John: S-s-sorry?

05:11 Sherlock: Bugs. Insects. They’re airborne. Hm, as is some bacteria.

05:16 John: Great, yeah. Let me just decide between a gnat and a germ.

05:19 Sherlock: By all means. Take your time.

05:21 John: I’m being sarcastic. I’m not a bug and I’m not bloody…germs. I’m. *sighs* I mean it’s too much pressure being an eagle, isn’t it. Um, *clicks tongue three times* I don’t want to be something that’s crap at flying, like a swan or a goose or something. Shoutout to Heather, by the way. Ehhh, aw come on John, come on John. Um. Ooo! Tell you what. Now this is going to sound stupid, but if it was my brain in the animal-

05:47 Sherlock: Yes, this is going to sound stupid.

05:49 John: Shh-sh-shh. Yes, if it was me. In the animal. I’m going pigeon.

05:54 Sherlock: Pigeon?

05:55 John: Pigeon. Ehh? Right, listen, ok. I can still live in the city. I cou-I could even live in my room, really.

06:01 Sherlock: You absolutely cannot.

06:03 John: What? Why not?

06:04 Sherlock: I’m not flatsharing with a bloody pigeon, Watson.

06:06 John: It’s me.

06:07 Sherlock: Yes, in the body of a pigeon.

06:09 John: Listen, let me finish my point. I’m a pigeon. I’ve got my room. I can fly about London, y’know? See all the sites, dive bomb some tourists, do a little poo on the House of Commons. I could nick a bit of decent grub. Yeah, go on walks with Archie and Mariana in the park. And no one is the wiser. If I was an eagle or a, y’know, like an albatross, I couldn’t do that, could I? No? It’d be great flying across town, even take the tube. Saw a pigeon on the tube the other day.

06:39 Sherlock: Yes, you said. Twice.

06:41 John: I could look through people’s windows, you know go in their gardens, on their patios….That makes me sound creepy, doesn’t it? Ah, pigeon! *clears his throat* The answer is pigeon. Second question, “What kitchen appliance would you be?” *clicks tongue twice and sucks air in thorough his teeth* Hm. Not being a microwave. No way, don’t get cleaned enough and, uh, having curries and bloody pizzas blowing up inside me, geezus. Uh, fridge. Maybe. Mmm, but I’d see a lot of rotting food, wouldn’t I? Especially if people are away for a while. Probably go with something fun, y’know something where I come out of the pantry or the, y’know, the cupboard or whatever, and all the family go ‘yaayyy, heyhey here he is!’-Wafflemaker, I’d be a wafflemaker. Everyone loves waffles. No one’s getting board of me. I’m getting cleaned. Perfect. Pigeon and a wafflemaker. Ha! That’s not a bad name for our band, eh Sherlock?

07:32 Sherlock: We’re not making a band.

07:33 John: Yeahhh, it was a joke. Right! It’s biscuit time! Saren says ‘Question for Sherlock: What kind of biscuits are, in your opinion, the best?

07:42: *sound of someone walking away*

07:43 John: Uhh, what’re you doing?

07:44 Sherlock: Answering the question.

07:44 John: Well, that would involve sitting down and talking into the mic.

07:48 Sherlock *sound of papers*: Here.

07:49 John: This…is an essay….on biscuits.

07:52 Sherlock: Yes.

07:54 John: By you.

07:55 Sherlock: Yes.

07:56 John: Okay.

07:58 Sherlock: Well, read it. My findings are in there.

08:01 John: Whaaa…it’s thirty-nine pages long.

08:03 Sherlock: Indeed.

08:04 John: Thi-this is supposed to be a snappy question and answer segment. Y’know it’s supposed to be a patreon reward, not a bloody punishment. *sarcastically* ‘Aww thanks for giving six quid everybody, here’s an eleven hour lecture on biscuits.’

08:15 Sherlock: They asked the question.

08:16 John: Right, ok. So, uh, he was eating a lot of custard creams the other day. Um, for those of you who aren’t British, uh, a custard cream is, uh, a sort of sandwich structured biscuit, wouldn’t’cha say?

08:26 Sherlock: Correct. Yes. A sandwich in structure. Two light shortbread pieces acting as the bread. Often stamped with a Victorian inspired Baroque design. And the filling was once a buttercream, but now is a custard flavored cream based on vanilla custard. Not egg custard.

08:43 John: Right, yeah. It’s, it’s that. Um, they’re nice. They are nice. Very moreish. Um, Ellionk, or Ellie, I think, when they’re not ‘Onk’ified, want’s to know ‘Favorite Supermarket: Tesco or Sainsbury’s?’ Um, well, both have gone downhill in recent years, I have to say. So, I’m going to go for neither and say co-op. Yeah, cause every now and again you find a really really good one. But if I’m in fantasy land, it’s M&S Foods or Waitrose. *clicks tongue* Yeah. Uh, there’s a chemistry question here from Ranger Pip which I don’t even begin to understand, so I’m going to move on. Sorry, Ranger Pip.

09:18 John (cont.): Right, last one! ‘Question for possibly John or Sherlock, not sure, lol. What is the story behind the theme tune. Just have to say whoever composed it, the musicians need an award and a shoutout on the podcast.’ Uh, yeah, well it’s a great theme tune, isn’t it? It really is. It’s called ‘Mad Prodigy’. *clears his throat pointedly*

09:39 Sherlock: Why are you making that noise?

09:41 John: Ah well, just saying mate.

09:43 Sherlock: I’m not mad. Or a prodigy.

09:46 John: Hey, uh, I-I’m not saying anything. Um, yeah, it’s it’s by a guy called Jody Jenkins. Uhhh, the reason why I don’t release it like some people asked me to is because it’s owned by a royalty free site. Um, *clicks tongue* the reason why Jody Jenkins doesn’t release it, is the same reason. I-it’s owned by a royalty free site. Uh, that’s generally how they work. I-I pay a fee. Well. Goalhanger pay a fee, use the track, and it belongs too…yeah. Audio Network. Um, I think he’s fab, yeah. But as far as crediting him out loud on the podcast, um, some artists don’t want royalty free work assigned to them. Um, they just do it for a paycheck. Some do. I don’t know him obviously and of course, I-I could piss off the company that actually owns the audio if I just mention him and uh, not-

10:34: *phone vibrates*

10:36 John: Message from Mariana. ‘You’re waffling. These people are paying us their hard earned money.’ Right! Soundproofing in these old houses aren’t what they used to be, are they? Um, *clicks tongue* yeah that’s the reason songwise. Nothing for or against Jody Jenkins. I’m just playing it safe cause these things s-scare me. *chuckles* Corporations and blech, yeah. Uh, horrible stuff.

10:54: *phone vibrates*

10:55 John: Um, message from Mariana. Right, yeah, I’m gonna wrap this up. Uh, thanks for your questions my lovely friends, we’ll be back soon. And, now to play us out, the one and only, Sherlock Holmes.

11:08 Sherlock: What?

11:08 John: Play! Play a song!

11:10 Sherlock *pleased*: Oh. Excellent! Uh, okay. Here we go!

11:14: *violin playing starts up*

11:17 John: Bye bye guys!

11:32: *sherlock’s violin playing cuts into Mad Prodigy

11:32-12:02 *Mad Prodigy carries us out to the end*

[spookyjuicefiction]

Violets & Plums: Astarion/Tav, Part 1

Got an idea for an Astarion fic that I just need to start working through and here is as good a place as any. Part 1 of ?

_______________________________________

He had been wrong about her. And he hated being wrong.

He had seen her on the nautiloid, stuffed into a pod and infected with a tadpole just as he had been. He recognized her when he spotted her trudging up the path toward him away from the crash site. He himself had just clawed his way out of the wreckage and was getting his bearings when she and the she-elf emerged from the smoke. An easy target, he thought, quickly preparing a ruse to trap her. She fell right into it, and he was ready to kill her - that is, until their parasites connected.

When he agreed to team up with her and Shadowheart, it was because he planned to use them as human shields should he meet any attackers. Sure, they had the common goal of finding a healer to remove the parasite, but they certainly had no value as serious allies as far as he could tell. Even only being a vampire spawn, they were slow and weak compared to him. Not to mention stupid. He was the obvious choice to lead the pack.

Then why was it that he was standing at the edge of the campsite alone, scowling to himself as the rest of his merry band of companions passed around a bottle of wine and enjoyed each others' company? And why was she the one in the middle, with every adoring eye on her?

Yes, he had certainly underestimated her. Within hours she had every one of them wrapped around her magical fingers, and within a few days they had all deferred to her as their de-facto leader when decisions needed to be made. She seemed to have a gift for reading people, knowing exactly how to charm and persuade them. Her skills of deception even rivaled his own, though he was loathe to admit to his admiration of them.

His pointed ear pricked toward the campfire as new sounds arose; she - Tav - had started plucking a tune on her lute and leading the group in song. He rolled his eyes. Of course she sings, too. How irritating.

It was truly annoying how easily she gained the others' favors. Wasn't he supposed to be the one so well-versed in flattery and charisma? Yet she deigned to engage with them in ways that made his skin crawl, like listening to Wyll's obviously dramatized renditions of his escapades as The Blade of Frontiers. Or allowing Gale to ramble on about his cat - his tressym, as the obnoxious wizard was so fond of correcting them. Shadowheart seemed to like her just because Tav left her alone and didn't ask her too many questions, but chuckled along at all of her jokes at the others' expense. She had even gained Lae'zel's trust after asking her for fighting tips and electing her as the group battlemaster in case of combat. And Karlach took nothing at all - the two have been practically joined at the hip (from a fire-safe distance, of course) since the tiefling joined their camp. She must be hiding something, he thought. No one can be that good at gaining peoples' trust without good reason. He would know.

She tried to read him, too. She made little jokes and comments under her breath only for him to hear, trying to be conspiratorial. She complemented him often, trying to appeal to his vanity. But most obnoxiously, she went toe to toe with him in battles of wit. Any time he threw loaded grenade of snark and vitriol at one of their companions to entertain himself, she threw it right back. It was infuriating, being undermined and bested at his favorite game. That was probably why the others' liked her so much, because she was fond of shutting him up and making him seethe quietly in the back of the line. Nobody else liked him.

Good, he thought. Best to go it alone anyway. Never needed a friend before, don't need one now. As soon as I get this bastard out of my eye, I'll be gone faster than a rat in Cazador's dungeon.

The thought of rats unpleasantly reminded him of his thirst. Typically, he waited until the others were asleep to go off and hunt so they wouldn't suspect the truth about his condition. But seeing as they were all singing (except Lae'zel, of course), he guessed no one would notice if he stalked off.

He took no joy in his kill tonight, feeling grumpy as he continued to brood over his distaste for Tav. Two hundred years thinking of nothing but Cazador and he was finally free, only to spend every moment bemoaning his luck at being stuck with the spellcaster. He drained the boar of its blood and left it carelessly on the side of the path, electing to wander around for the remaining nighttime hours rather than returning to camp. He was too restless to trance anyway. And she was there. She probably conjures butterflies in her sleep and dreams rainbows, the foul beast.

"The hells is that?" asked Karlach, squinting at a large lump on the side of the path.

"Looks like a boar," said Wyll, going over to toe it with his boot, Tav close behind. "It looks... it looks like it's been drained of blood. There's no stain around it. I can't even see a wound."

"That's odd," remarked Shadowheart, quirking an eyebrow. Astarion shifted on his feet, agitated. Shit. He should have taken more care to cover his kill last night. Looking around, he started as he realized Tav was staring right at him.

"Oh, who cares, it's only a boar," he said impatiently, looking quickly away from her, unnerved. "Surely there are more interesting things to investigate. Look, I see goblins mounting an ambush through the gate up ahead. Let's go and kill something." He stalked off, not waiting for a reply and removing his daggers from their sheaths.

"Something on your mind?"

FUCK. Astarion couldn't remember the last time someone had snuck up on him. He had been pacing in a clearing just outside the camp, wondering if Tav somehow knew his secret. He was debating with himself whether he should abandon the group and set out on his own when her voice - the last voice he wanted to hear - startled him. Rounding on her with daggers drawn and his hair standing on end, he fixed her with his most murderous expression.

"Do you make a habit on intruding on people's private contemplations?" he hissed angrily.

"You know better than anyone the advantage of catching someone off-guard," she replied coolly, folding her arms and shifting her weight.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm as he lowered his weapons. He loathed her completely in that moment.

"Only wondering where you were. Looted some good food for supper from those goblins, if you're hungry." She tilted her head. "Or perhaps you've already eaten today."

They regarded each other cautiously as her words hung in the air. He was certain that she knew. Was she afraid he would hurt her, or the others? She could tell them his secret, and they would all turn on him. So what did she want in exchange for her silence? Was she shaking him down?

"I'm not hungry," he replied slowly. Slowly, he raised his empty hands, daggers now sheathed. A gesture of surrender. "I'm happy to keep watch while you all eat. I will ensure no harm comes to anyone."

She narrowed her eyes, seeming to understand the duality of his words. He was promising not to drink from them. After a beat, she replied with a stiff nod. He allowed his tense shoulders to drop. She was promising not to tell them. For now.

Satisfied at their new agreement, Astarion spent the next 2 days coming up with a new plan to manipulate Tav. With her being the the leader of their group, it seemed prudent to ensure that she would protect him should the others begin to turn on him. Much as he despised her, he conceded that she was his best chance to finding a cure for the parasite, and thus his best chance for true freedom from Cazador. If she was already willing to hide his condition from the others, it would not take too much more effort on his part to get her to play completely into his hand. All he had to do was try a little seduction. Even she couldn't best him at that game.

But even has his plan took shape, he could feel his thirst, an ever-present beast clawing up his throat, undermining him. It made him irritable, weak, and unfocused. Instead of charming her, he more often found himself arguing with her, stabbing her with vicious insults about her sorcery, her class, and even her looks. He didn't really even mean them; she had proven herself an adept spellcaster in both battle and everyday application, she seemed to come from a fine, middle-class family in Baldur's Gate, and her looks were perfectly adequate to the average person. Not beautiful enough to tempt Cazador, maybe, but enough that Astarion caught Gale's eyes lingering a little too long a little too often. For some reason, Astarion found that infuriating.

He had lobbed a particularly nasty mockery at her earlier in the day after she had insisted that they all run in to a burning building to rescue some helpless fool, so he was quite surprised to find her clearing her throat outside of his tent that evening.

"Come to shoot a firebolt at me since you didn't quite singe all of my eyebrows off this afternoon?" he inquired bitterly.

She rolled her eyes. "Can I come in?"

This was unusual. No one had ever asked to enter his tent before.

"I suppose," he replied cautiously, and she shouldered past him through the flap. He followed her back inside and she turned to face him, crossing her arms defensively.

"You've been a real arse these last days." She said it with a finality that left no room for argument. He poked at her anyway.

"Well, thank you," he broke into a smile and a shallow bow. "You should see me when I don't have a parasite in my head."

"I've had enough," she continued, as though he hadn't interrupted. "This ends now."

"What are you going to do?" he hissed, joking manner aside as he closed the distance between them threateningly. She was going to tell the others. "You'll be dead before you reach the door."

But as usual, the moment he had the upper hand, she pulled the rug out from under him. "I'd rather you not drink so much as to kill me, since I'm offering it out of the kindness of my heart."

He never could quite get his footing with her.

"Excuse me?"

"If you drink some of my blood, will you stop being such a devil's shite?"

It took considerable effort for Astarion to clamp his jaw shut and rearrange his features to mask his shock.

"You want me to drink your blood?"

"Want is a strong word. But I'm willing to make a small sacrifice for the good of the group if it'll shut you up long enough for us to find this Halsin without your moaning and whining."

"I do not moan and whine," he protested petulantly. "And I absolutely do not promise to shut up. But it will almost certainly improve my mood drastically." He licked his lips at the thought of it, eyeing her pulse point.

"Very well then. I suppose I'd better lay down in case I pass out."

Astarion watched motionlessly as she lowered herself onto his bedroll and swept her hair off her neck. His body seemed unable to move, yet his every instinct told him to tear her open right then and there. At the same time, the sight of her on his bedroll made him feel slightly nauseous - not because of her, but something akin to shame stirred in his abdomen. Just another victim for him to ruin. It was almost too easy. So why the sudden... guilt?

"Can we get on with it? I don't much fancy falling asleep in your bedroll."

Composing himself, Astarion dropped to his knees with a flourish and bent his body over hers. It was horribly intimate, and he could sense her discomfort. He lavished in it.

"Comfortable, darling?" he smirked at her and winked, and she rolled her eyes.

"If you accidentally kill me, you know that Karlach will make sure you burn alive. So, not a drop more than you need."

"Of course, my sweet. No need to worry. Only a teensy little sip and I'll be out of your hair."

She looked like she didn't believe a word, but she turned her head with a sigh, exposing her neck to him.

"It'll only hurt a pinch," he breathed as he lowered himself to her pulse point. He was struck for a moment by her scent - violet and plums and something smoky - before he bared his teeth. He felt her take a breath, and then he sunk his fangs in.

They moaned almost in unison, her in pain, and him in pleasure, as he began to drink. Gods, it was perfect, even better than he had ever imagined it could be. He could've sworn that her blood tasted like violet and plums as it splashed over his tongue. She was clutching his arms for support, and he felt his hand clamp down on her hip to hold her in place. But she didn't try to get up, laying stiffly beneath him as he suckled her lifeblood.

He could kill her. It would be so easy. She would feel like she was falling asleep, and he could drink her as dry as the boar on the side of the road. The image of it rose in his mind; her, pallid, bloodless, slack-jawed. No more stupid singing. No more butterfly dreams.

He retracted his fangs from her quickly, as though she had burned him suddenly. Her grip on his arms had weakened significantly, and her head seemed to loll on her neck.

"Oh dear. Don't pass out, darling."

He scooped his hand under her cheek and turned her face toward him. Her eyes were placid and unfocused, but she was blinking like she was trying to maintain consciousness. Already she looked pale. He bit back the resurgence of the guilty nausea and pulled a pillow under her head.

"Just a moment, love. We'll get you all sorted." His tone was light and airy as he rummaged in his pack for a healing potion, but he was more unnerved than he would've liked to admit.

"There we are." He uncorked the stopper and held her head up, tipping the potion down her throat slowly so as not to choke her. After a few deep breaths, she brought her hand up to her forehead and rubbed her temple.

"I said 'not too much', you arsewipe," her voice was weak, but clearly irritable.

"I can't help that you're so delicious," he cooed, relieved that the potion seemed to recover her somewhat. He noticed that her fingers were trembling, and a shiver wreaked through her whole body. Sighing, he pulled a thick blanket up around her. Her eyes on him were daggers, but she didn't push it off. "Just relax here for a bit. I won't be sleeping anytime soon, after that. It was quite... invigorating."

She eyed him curiously. "You say it like you've never done it before."

Sharp as ever. How did she always know?

"I... haven't. You're my first. My first... thinking creature, that is." He smirked at her, wiggling his eyebrows. "I bet you didn't guess I was a virgin."

She didn't take the bait. "So what did you eat?" Her fingers had stilled against her temple; he had her full attention now. He didn't like how her scrutiny made him feel. Somehow, even though she was so weak she couldn't raise her own head, he was the one feeling vulnerable.

"Oh, rats, flies, roaches, whatever one could find on hand 'round Cazador's dungeons," he said with forced nonchalance, examining his fingernails. "Cazador is - was - my master. I am his vampire spawn." He couldn't bear to look at her, sure he would see pity in her eyes that would make him want to claw his skin off. "How did you know about my condition, by the way?"

"You aren't as subtle as you think you are." His head snapped up at that, insulted. "And I've spent some time studying the condition. One of the guildmasters was hoping to imbibe a potion with some of the properties of vampire blood."

"To what end?" Astarion asked, curiosity piqued.

This time it was she who smirked. "The official story was that the research was focused on creating a more potent healing potion, since vampires are known to have such rapid regeneration. However," she pushed herself up gently on the pillows, "I always suspected they were hoping to create a potion of immortality."

"Well, that would be something," Astarion mused. "However did they get a vampire's blood to experiment with?"

"They didn't. It was all theoretical. I was trained to learn to recognize a vampire if I spotted one, with the hope of obtaining its blood for the research. With permission, or... by force." She looked as though the idea left a bad taste in her mouth. His face must have given his thoughts away as well, since she looked at him and chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm not going to steal your blood. I doubt it would have worked anyway."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well," she sat up further, the color beginning to return to her cheeks, "for one, I don't believe vampirism works in the way most mages think it does. It's not some kind of magical curse imbued with some mysterious arcane properties. I think it's... more like an illness. Like a plague, that can only be passed one way."

"Well, it certainly feels like a curse," Astarion intoned bitterly. "And if it's an illness, I've never heard of a cure."

She shrugged. "It's only a guess. But it is a little exciting to meet one up close, after all my research." She was smiling at him earnestly now, again making him feel uncomfortable.

"You're a strange creature. I just drank your blood and you're excited. One might think you have... odd predilections." He grinned wickedly at her.

She chuckled. "How are you feeling now? Less cranky?"

Astarion took stock of his body as he climbed to his feet. "I feel strong. I feel..." he trailed off a moment, searching for the right word. "Happy."

Tav clamored to her feet as well, with far less grace. She wove unsteadily for a moment, and he caught her waist to ensure she didn't pull his tent down in a fall. They were standing quite close again, and he felt his guard drop for a moment.

"Thank you," he said quietly, "for trusting me. I... this is a gift, you know. I won't forget it."

"I suspect neither will I," she murmured, smiling at him once more. "Well, good night then."

"Sweet dreams."

He watched her walk slowly and tiredly back to her tent on the other side of the clearing, head reeling with everything that had just happened. She had offered herself to him, but not in the way he was used to. She had offered her blood, and she had trusted him to take it. But why? What is there for her to gain?

She wanted him placated, clearly. Perhaps she was as annoyed by him as he was by her and really did just want to shut him up. Maybe she was mounting her own manipulation plan, forcing him to be dependent on her blood to do her bidding. He hated knowing that if she offered again, he would greedily accept. But what reason did she have to trust him so easily not to kill her, when all he had done since they met was insult her? What was she reading about him that he didn't even know himself? The questions plagued him as he hunted that night, wishing every sip of animal blood was hers. He had a taste for it now, and it ruined him. If he had thought about her constantly before, he was doomed now.

As he lay down in his bedroll to trance, he raked his hand over his face. Then, he began to laugh bitterly. All around him, the only thing he could sense was aroma of violet and plums.

Part 2

[shoot-the-oneshot]

Crimson Cage 3

thank you guys for being so patient

Rafe Cameron x Reader Outer Banks Masterlist

Closing your eyes, breathing in the sea air, waves crashing was the only noise surrounding you, if you tried hard enough you could imagine you were at the chateau, home.

The crisp blue waters and white sand beaches of the Caribbean are only a stones throw away. Almost any time of day you could be found here, on the balcony, hot tea in hand the breeze blowing through your hair, you were used to the feeling but the surrounding luxuries that accompanied it were new. Lush white furniture, the flawless railing you could run your hand across a thousand times and never get a splinter.

You weren’t used to these luxuries but you also weren’t used to being a Cameron.

“Marry me” Rafe spoke, the softness In his tone making the question almost sound like a real proposal, stealing a glance at the shiny band on your left hand, you suppose it was.

“Do you think I’ll get a ring like that one day?” Wheezie asked from her spot next to you when she saw you looking at it, "If you want one" You nodded your head.

“If Rafe doesn’t scare everyone off.” She mumbled, her lips pushing out in a pout when you laughed agreeing with her, thinking back to all the times he scared tourons and pouges away from you in your teen years. “He is really good at that.”

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite girls.” You both turned to see Rafe leaning against the open door, the easy smile he's had on his face since you got here still on his face as he walked closer, pulling you both under his arms. Ruffling her hair making her squirm. You liked this version of him, softer less murdery. While Wheezie struggled to get out of her brothers' playful grasp, you leaned further in.

“And how's the beautiful Mrs Cameron doing?” He asked pulling your left hand to his lips. After the wedding, he called you that for a week straight, it was the first time you saw him happy in a long time.

“Oh, you know soaking in the rays like every day.” It was true despite your cage getting an upgrade and having more freedom than you did, it still wasn't home.

Rafe perused his lips, pressing a kiss to your forehead staying there as he spoke. “I have to leave for a bit.” You jerked back eyes wide at the sudden news.

“you’re what!”

“That French guy found a buyer for the cross, I'm taking the boat down there and once I'm back we can do whatever we want.” His voice lowered “Think about what we could do with all that money.” You could finally get away from Ward, you thought to yourself. Rafe hands continued on their paths up and down your arms, hoping you wouldn’t fight too much.

"Can I go with you?" You knew it was a long shot but in your mind, anything was better than staying here with Rose and a bedridden Ward, unsurprisingly he shook his head, dipping his chin to meet your eyes.

"Baby I got this, trust me. You just stay here with Whez and I'll take care of everything, okay?"

“Excuse me?” Rafe turned hearing a new voice, rolling his eyes at the newcomer.

“What are you doing here?” Kiara demanded. “What am I doing here? Why are you here!”

“I was wondering if the reunion would cause sparks you know.” The man's voice cut off the two bickering. “Who are you?” Rafe asked. “My name is Carlos Singh Mr Cameron,” he turned to Kiara. “Miss Carrera.”

“So you know our names is this about the cross or not?” Rafe deflected his intimidation tactic. “This is about the cross Mr Cameron and something much more than that,” Singh spoke of some diary his words going in one ear and out the other until he got fed up.

“Alright I'm done with this, tell her all about your little book.” He exclaimed walking out of the room facing an armed guard. Rafe huffed out turning back to Singe.

“Do you think I’m a fool, Mr Cameron? You have the cross, she and her friends had it at one point. If you truly don't know where the diary is it’s in your best interest to convince Miss Carrera to change her mind. You have one day to decide.”

After he finished they were escorted to a bedroom upstairs that was locked by one of the armed men. "Look out the window if you would like a demonstration of just how serious I am," Singh said before they were taken away. creeping to the window keeping clear of each other they watched a man that Rafe had never seen dragged away before a single gunshot.

"What, Who was that?" Rafe asked, seeing Kiara back away from the window.

"Jimmy Portus, he tried to help me." her voice cracked. Rafes mind ran overtime, rubbing his hands over his buzzed head. "Okay, this diary do you know where it is?"

"Have you forgotten what you did!"

"Which part?" Rafe being the smartass he was replied.

"Killing Peterkin, shooting your sister, stealing the gold and the cross from us beating up Pope!" Kiara shouted. Rafe groaned pacing the length of the room before turning back with his eyes glossy.

"I know you all think of me as some kind of monster I get it and I feel bad about what I did to Sarah, but I'm a victim too. Don't look at me like that, I am, okay!" Rafe paced in front of the window as Kiarra watched silently, waiting for him to explode again

“Listen listen I know you don't trust me or like me honestly I don't care.” He spoke raising his hands to point at his chest. “But you care about Y/N.”

The girls brows furrowed. “You mean my friend that you kidnapped."

Rafe rolled his eyes "She was my girlfriend I saved her from a suicide mission, but that's not the point."

His tone dropped stepping forward, Kiara matching with one of her own backwards until she hit the bed frame.

"She married me." raising his left hand showcasing the gold band on his finger. At the sight, she took a deep breath no doubt about to start yelling.

"Everyone thinks my dad is dead, which means the business the money the gold, it went to me and now Y/n." his voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned closer.

"Rose can't touch her when I'm there but if I die she gets everything. what do you think Rose would do with all the power and money right there for the taking?"

"You might not want to help me get out of here fine, but do you really want whatever happens to her on your head?" Rafe cocked his head watching her resolve crumble and her teeth grind.

"Fine, I have an idea."

Rafe crept through the house, it had to be around midnight with how dark it was keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible he pushed the bedroom door open, seeing the silhouette on the bed. who sensing his presence flipped over and gasped.

"Rafe!" quickly moving he knelt on the bed his hand going to her neck.

"shh baby you're okay, it's me I'm back" his thumb rubbed back and forth soothing her back to laying down now on his chest. god how he missed this, the feeling of her pressed against him, her breath fanning across his neck as every inhale filled with the smell of her shampoo.

"Did you sell the cross," you whispered. feeling his arms tighten around you.

"Don't worry about that, but I did some thinking while I was gone." he sighed into your hair. "I think it's time we go home." you shot up a hand pressing against his chest not giving him a chance to escape, not that he would go anywhere with you looking at him like that.

"We're going back to the Outer Banks?" grabbing your hand and pressing soft kisses long it as he sat up, his face illuminated by the moonlight allowing you to see his smile through the darkness. "We can leave in the morning."

Seeing the happiness glowing from the love of his life he's glad he withheld the finer details of the pouges and Singh, all that mattered was getting home.

Meanwhile, across the world, your sibling was floating back to the same island with their now alive father. who after steering the boat for a few hours joined John B down below.

“Where’s my butterfly is she still in OBX with that Cameron boy?” His father spoke sitting across from him at the table. it was still surreal to see him alive and well in front of him

“Uh, I don't know?” John B tucked his head. “What do you mean? She wasn’t with you"

“No, after Ward framed me for Peterkin, Sarah, Y/N and I were going to run on JJs dads boat, but she never showed up.” He watched as the information sunk into his dad as he slowly sunk into the chair his full attention on his oldest child.

"Sarah was with you on the run?"

"uh yeah." John B rubbed the back of his neck. "We're married, Dad." his foot tapped nervously waiting for his father's response.

"You married Sarah Cameron? Ward's daughter Sarah?"

"Are you mad?" he asked, trying the read the look on his father's face, who cracked into a smile.

"That you went after the big catch? not at all son, just sorry I missed the wedding" John B released a breath of air he was holding when the room went serious.

“So where is Y/N John B?”

“Sarah told me on the island that Rafe took her thinking she was on a suicide mission following me, she was on the ship with the cross when I last saw her. She stayed behind.”

The older man was silent in thought, “So Ward tried to kill me. Rafe shot Peterkin, you got framed and went on the run while Rafe kidnapped your sister. You found her but left her and got stranded on a island and married his sister, is that right?” John B nodded mumbling “There were a few things in between but yes”

"You know his sister so tell me bird, would he hurt her?" John B has never seen his father so serious about something other than treasure.

"No, Rafe would kill just about anyone, but he wouldn't hurt her, if anything he'd do it for her in his own twisted way."

"Alright then, we get to the OBX, find the map then get your sister." the older man slapped his thigh going to stand up ready to get them home as soon as possible.

This is the life you missed, it was like nothing changed. the second you landed back in the OBX you demanded Rafe take the roof off his jeep and take you driving wanting to see everything immediately. And who was he to say no?

Left hand free played full blast through the speakers as you drove downtown. your smile widens seeing Haywards, then the beach where you and Kiara saved baby turtles that one summer.

Unable to hold in your excitement you unbuckled your seatbelt and before Rafe could stop you, you stood up holding onto the bar. "I'm home!" you yelled at the top of your lungs against the wind. you could barely hear Rafes laugh at your antics.

His hand landed on your thigh the second you sat back down against the leather. you turned to look at him, you realized how young he looked in that moment no stress on his shoulders, he looked like when you first fell in love and would drive around town just to talk all day. except now there was a shiny ring on his left hand steering the car.

"I love you." the second the words left your lips the car's brakes slammed to a stop, the only reason you didn't hit the dash from the sudden jolt was the arm holding you back.

"What did you say?" Rafe shouted, before composing himself and asking again in a quieter tone. you haven't said it since before the tarmac but also haven't felt this since then.

He watched you intently as you smiled, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer. "I love you Rafe." you felt his breath shudder against your lips. his hand tangled itself in your hair. "I love you so much Y/n, always have always will." his lips crashed against yours with the passion of two lovers separated for years, which in a way you were.

You could feel Rafes smile against your lips. "Take me home Rafe."

once again he did as you asked, you don't think you've ever gotten to Tannyhill so fast before. the car was barely stopped before Rafe jumped out and ran to your side.

"Rafe!" you yelped when he picked you up, "Just carrying my bride across the threshold."

The weeks you've had in the OBX have been a dream, it was back to how it was. One morning while cooking breakfast Rafe to your shock, even dropped the keys to his jeep in front of you with a kiss on the head telling you to drive safe, before leaving on his bike to wherever he went during the day.

The first place you went was the chateau, softly shutting the car door all the memories you've made here hit you. The bedtime stories your dad would tell you and John B of pirates and gold, sleepovers with the pouges, even sneaking out to meet Rafe. You thought things would be the same when you came back, but nothing was. Now you had to push away cobwebs just to get inside.

With a sigh you looked around the chateau, kicking aside one of John B.'s shoes he threw everywhere, the floors creaked as you made your way around the house the layers of dust only confirming what you thought. No one was here, you didn't know where your brother was but figured he was as far as he could get from here.

Wiping your hands of dust you decided to go back home. you never thought you would call Tannyhill home but the feeling you had in that large white house felt better than you did minutes ago. Rafe was still gone when you got home so you went to your favorite spot in the house, the master balcony. the water looked nothing like in Guadalupe but you loved it.

Rafe who snuck in behind you, silently wrapped his arms around your waist pulling your back to his chest, his breath fanning your neck as he spoke. "I missed you wifey." you jumped in shock then relaxed back into his hold recognizing his voice, returning the sentiment he turned you around thumbs rubbing your waist from where he snuck his hands under your shirt.

"I had something made for you," Rafe smirked giving one last squeeze before moving his hands one going to the back of your neck the other reaching for something in his back pocket. pulling out a necklace covered in diamonds. before you could protest he clasped it around your neck his fingertips brushing along your collarbones as he fixed it.

"Rafe," "Just say thank you, and let me treat my wife like a husband should." he sushed you still admiring the hardware. reaching up on your tiptoes you pressed your lips together. wrapping your arms around his neck pulling away you showered his face in kisses, his jaw, cheek, nose everywhere. He practically preened loving the attention you were giving.

"There's one more thing," Rafe spoke suddenly looking uncharecterlisticly sheepish, like he was afraid of your reaction. curious as to what would pull that reaction out of him you wordlessly nodded your head. "Close your eyes." doing as he said you felt him pull away and heard shuffling. "Open"

You opened your eyes finding him on one knee eyes hopeful and ring in hand. "I know we are married already but I always wanted to give you the ring you deserve and what better place than your favorite." he choked up a bit on his words his eyes glossy. "So Y/n love of my life, will you stay married to me?"

Honestly, you wanted to laugh he was right the papers were signed but with how he looked right now you couldn't dare make fun when he took it so seriously. "Yes Rafe, I'll stay married to you." you smiled as he released a heavy sigh of relief. This is how you originally imagined him proposing, here not on some boat. the second he got to his feet his hands caged your face pulling in, kissing you like it was the altar. you watched as he slid the biggest oval diamond you have ever seen on your finger. "Oh my god where did you get this its massive!"

If you were paying attention you would've seen his shoulders tense momentarily. "We are Cameron's baby." was the only answer he gave as he watched you admire the ring and the view of the ocean in the same scene. he took his spot back behind you with you held tight in his arms nuzzeling your neck.

“You know this is all ours right? Just how it was always meant to be.” He whispered looking over the backyard of Tannyhill with you.

“We’re here to sell it Rafe it's not ours.” you sighed.

“Isn’t it? My dad can’t come back here, it's all in my name. I always told you this would be ours one day.” He paused using his grip on your hips to spin you to face him.

“Today is that day.” He nuzzled his nose in your hair taking a breath as you felt excitement fill you at the possibility of being home again. Your hands went to his face pulling his eyes to yours. That easy-going smile he got when he knew he did something you'd like on his face.

“We can really stay?” You whispered hopefully as if a louder tone would ruin everything. Rafe smiled loving that happy look in your eyes once again. He nodded his nose rubbing against yours with the movement. “We’re home baby.” He spoke against your lips before before pressing more fully.

Excitedly smiling into the kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck laughing as he spun you. maybe Rafe was right and everything that happened was for the best because this felt like where you were supposed to be.

a few days later you watched Rafe walk in, instead of joining you in the kitchen he leaned against the enteryway watching you, "Let's go for a drive there's something you need to see. his somber tone rattled you. He led you out to the jeep looking like he was fighting himself with every step. the ride was quiet your leg bounced with nerves, normally Rafe was your rock if he was calm you didn't need to worry but his hands kept flexing and shifting on the wheel.

You looked to Rafe in confusion as he pulled the truck to a stop at the chateau. He pulled your hand to his face making you caress his cheek, turning his head he kissed your palm before letting you go and turning to face the house.

“Go, I’ll be here.”

You shook your head. "There is nothing there i already looked." Rafe sighed nodding to the house again.

Not understanding but still trusting him, you pulled open your door and stepped out, looking at Rafe one more time who gave you a forced smile confusing you even more. Shaking it off you made your way to the backyard surprised to hear voices. Turning the corner you froze seeing the pouges all standing around smiling at someone who was spinning with JJ on their back it wasn’t until they turned around you saw who it was.

“Dad?”

The group froze hearing the new voice. Their eyes widened seeing you, who for all they knew was somewhere in the Bahamas under lock and key. now stood right in front of them. JJ slid off your dad's back as he straightened to full height staring right back at you, or you think he was, your vision was blurry welling up with tears.

"There's my butterfly." he choked out, opening his arms. for you to fall into, you were hit with the familiar smell of your father as you wrapped your arms around him. "We thought you were dead." you sobbed against his chest. you felt it rumble with his chuckle. "Seems like there was a lot of that around here."

He pulled back, hands cradling your face and wiping your tears like when you were little. "I missed you, kid."

"I missed you too Dad."

"I missed you too you know!" your attention turned to John B, who was quick to wrap you up in a hug. "I'm sorry I never should left you on that ship, I should've made you jump first-" you laughed cutting him off mid-rant. "It's okay, we're back now, all of us." Big John who was watching turned to the pouges.

"Well, kids I think we need some family time." Sarah hesitates leaving with the others when John B. walks back to her side and grabs her hand. "She's family to dad." Big John sighed, nodding his head. "Come on then." holding the door open you stood still as your brother and Sarah walked into the chatue.

"You guys go ahead I'll be right there." you waited until your dad shot the door behind him before jogging back to the driveway. Rafe who saw you quickly jumped out of the truck to meet you. "Are you okay?" his hands went to your jaw making you look up at him, his thumbs gently swiping under your eyes. you didn't bother telling him about your dad, figuring that's why he brought you here.

"My dad called for family time, you should be there too." Rafe smiled at your words pulling you closer to press his lips against your forehead before taking your hand, letting you lead him inside.

Everyone was sitting at the small table when you both walked in, John B. and Sarah's Eyes widened while your father looked like he almost expected it. You both sat down rafes arm slung over the back of your chair fingers brushing your upper arm. "So fill me in." Big john spoke.

We all took turns explaining our sides it was well after nightfall until everyone was done, Dad sat back in his chair with a glass of bourbon held in his hands. "never thought I'd miss both of my kids weddings." he said before emptying the glass in one go.

"I'd just like to point out we're the only ones that are legally married here, not just some sea law." Rafe pointed out pointing between you and your bother, his ring caught the light. "And we could always have another wedding here like it was supposed to be." He spoke nonchalantly, making you perk up. the Guadalupe wedding was beautiful but it was always a dream to get married here, at home.

Rafe turns back with his smug smile on his face shooting you a wink. John B disgusted by the scene in front of him speaks up. "Maybe a double wedding then huh Rafey." he mocks using your nickname for the man who doesn't even glare back just smiles. "No." your dad laughs at the two as the night comes to a close. You had everything you wanted, Rafe, your dad, and your brother back everything was perfect, until a few days later.

You had just gotten back to Tannyhill from the chateau walking up the wide white steps nothing seemed amiss. "Hello Y/N." you spun around, breath catching in your throat.

"Ward."

wooo that took forever this is truly my favorite series I have written i hope you guys liked it as much as i do leave a comment if you did (they make me smile) check out the other parts here if you'd like to be added to my OBX tag list please let me know!

taglist: @itssoweirdyoureher @scenesofobx @dopedaegus @marauderswhore

[chaoticforever]

Love’s Illusion (And Unfaithful Wounds) | Steve Rogers x Male! Reader

Summary: Whispers of doubt had always lingered in the back of Y/n’s mind. Nobody dared to utter them out loud, but everyone knew that nothing lasts forever. Still, Y/n had tried. He really did.

A/n: Remember when I made a short thought and said that I might turn into a fic one day? Well, I just did that. Enjoy :)

"Wow, Tony, this whole setup looks nice."

You were awestruck as you surveyed the candlelit dinner that Tony had set up for you and Steve. The sight before you was amazing, and the glass windows opened up to reveal a breathtaking panorama of the night sky with a perfect round moon. And the view of New York City that you two had from this area was unparalleled.

Today marked your and Steve's second anniversary and you decided to surprise him with his favorite home-cooked meal and an engraved metal band. The words Ti amo, Mio eroe — which translates to I love you, my hero — were written on the inside. This is a gift Steve would adore.

As you admired the beautiful ring, you couldn't help but feel a wave of nerves wash over you. You intended to propose to him with it and hoped he will say yes.

"Of course it's amazing; I designed this." Tony bragged with pride. "It's like I have a natural talent for designing just about anything. If there was an award for a big brother of the year, it would go to me."

"No, no, no; Thor's the one who deserves that award without question. He had to deal with his insane brother with daddy issues who tried to take over the world." The corners of your mouth curled up in a grin as you walked over to the table and set down two plates of food on it. "You'd be the second runner-up for that award."

"Ouch, Y/n." Tony placed his palm over his chest, over his heart. "Hearing you say that stung like a thousand needles. Since you don't believe I'm the best big brother ever, I suppose I'll have the bots come up here and renovate this space."

How quickly your grin disappeared. "No, Tones, please don't do that. Dum-E and U will disassemble this room exactly as they disassembled my room when I was ten." You walked around the table, giving your brother a lighthearted punch to the arm. "You already know you're the best big brother anyone could've asked for."

"Of course I'm the best, but it's nice to be reminded of that." The man laughed. "Anyways, the outfit you ordered arrived earlier, and I put it in your former room. Now that I've finished up here, I'm going to head down to the lab. I hope that you and Capsicle have a terrific evening."

"Thank you, Tony."

Just as your brother walked out of the room, your phone dinged in your pocket, signaling that you had received a text. You checked your messages and found that Natasha had informed you that she, Steve, and Bucky had returned from their assignment and that Steve was all yours.

Your response was a simple okay and then you went to the bathroom that was attached to your former room to shower.

You were looking forward to this dinner because you and Steve appeared to be growing apart as of late. While you were aware of his continued affection for you, you noticed that in the past five months, he has been spending the majority of his time with Bucky than you. You could not say that it didn't hurt because it did, but you can see why Steve longed to spend as much time as possible with his long- lost friend after they were reunited after spending more than seventy years apart.

Therefore, you were quite excited about your anniversary meal because you and Steve will have some time to yourselves. And if things are going well on the date, you two can take things to the next level in the bedroom. The cupids will love it.

After showering and changing into a sharp-looking black tuxedo, you went to your and Steve's private floor to retrieve him. You were looking forward to tonight and you knew that Steve had worked up an appetite after all of his fighting today.

As you opened the door to the bedroom, a radiant smile spread across your face. "Hey Steve, I hope you're hungry sinc—"

There was an immediate disappearance of the expression on your face, and your words died in your throat mid-sentence. The sight before you prevented you from completing the sentence that had been on the tip of your tongue. What the fuck.

You blinked three times in the hopes that your eyes were just deceiving you or that you would finally be free from this awful dream. And yet, this was no mere dream. What you saw was not a dream.

...What ...The... Fuck...

Steve was naked on your bed, but he was not alone. Bucky was there too, and he was naked as well. And you watched as Steve was kissing and fucking Bucky.

At this exact moment, you felt your heart rip painfully out of your chest and broke into a million pieces, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. There he was, your boyfriend, the man you loved more than life itself, fucking his friend in your bed. Your whole life just collapsed.

There was a sharp intake of breath from the depths of your throat. "Oh, my God." After hearing your disbelieving whisper, the two soldiers turned to stare at you.

"Y/n." When Steve noticed you standing in the doorway, his eyes widened and he immediately got out of Bucky and stood up. Just as Steve put on his boxers, you snapped out of your stunned stupor and bolted out of the room "Y/n, wait! Please let me explain!" He shouted desperately.

You ignored the blonde super soldier who was calling out to you. With tears running down your cheeks, you opted to hasten towards your brother's private elevator, which would take you down to his workshop. How could Steve do this to you? You trusted him with your heart, but he broke it in one of the worst ways.

As the footsteps behind you begin to quicken, you round the corner where the elevator is and the doors swing open for you. Steve grabbed you by the shoulder, flipped you around, and put his hands on your waist to prevent you from entering. "Wait, Y/n." A pleading tone came from him, blue eyes gazing into your e/c ones.

"Wait for what, Steve?! Do you want me to wait for you to finish fucking Bucky in my bed, or wait for you to come up with a shitty explanation for what I just saw?"

"No, no, I just want to tell you the truth."

"Don't bother talking; I'm not interested in what you have to say... just let me go."

"Please—"

"I'm not interested in hearing what you have to say!" You shouted brokenly, and droplets still trickled down your cheeks. There wasn't any indication of anger on your part, and that was reflected in your tone. But there was no sugarcoating the hurt and utter betrayal that came from it. "Just... leave me alone, okay? I don't feel like speaking to you, nor do I want to see you. I cannot believe you would cheat on me..." Your voice cracked as you glanced at the man you had called your boyfriend. "Get off me..." Your voice was a whisper.

Steve, being the stubborn man he is, shook his head, arms tightening around your waist when you tried to draw away.

"The young boss has requested that you release him, Captain." FRIDAY'S icy voice pierced your ears, unimaginably chilling. "Let go of him, or I'll have to do it myself."

Now that the blonde heard the artificial intelligence's timbre — which sounded dangerously close to being scary, Steve gently releases you, and you back away to create some space between you two.

You reached into your pocket and threw a little, sleek box at him. "I was planning on giving that to you tonight during our anniversary dinner, but it's useless now. What you do with it is up to you. You can keep it or give it to Bucky if you want to." You stepped backward into the elevator. "Happy Anniversary, Rogers. We're over."

In the instant that followed, the elevator door shut before the super soldier could respond — a deliberate move by FRIDAY.

You let out a sigh as you shut your eyes, sniffling. God, you felt like such an idiot, thinking that Steve loved you when he was fucking Bucky behind your back.

The worst part is that you saw the signs but ignored them because you love him. Clearly, he doesn't feel the same though.

The moment you walked off the elevator, Tony was waiting there. You figured that FRIDAY had already informed him of the recent situation or shown him the video. The billionaire appeared ready to kill and he possessed a menacing appearance.

"I will kill Capsicle for what he did to you later." A moment later, his eyes softened. "Come here, Y/n." His arms opened wide.

You raced into Tony's arms, sobbing into his shoulder because there was nothing else you could do after tonight's events.

Steve broke you.

He broke your heart into pieces, and you didn't think it would ever be whole again.

XXXXX XXXXX

Weeks following the incident were grim.

To begin, you and Steve no longer share a bedroom, therefore you have returned to the one you had previously occupied. You both were not together anymore, so you knew that it was the correct choice, but you missed sharing a bed with him. You longed for his warm embrace and the comfort he always brought. Without Steve, the bed feels considerably colder.

And throughout those weeks, you made an effort to avoid both Steve and Bucky like the plague. Since you were the team hacker and proficient in multiple martial arts styles, the only times you could not escape them was during team missions, training exercises, and meetings. Other than this, you didn't spend any additional time with them because it hurt too much to be around them after what they did.

Your feelings of betrayal weren't limited to Steve; Bucky was just as guilty in your eyes. You made an effort to make Bucky feel at ease here, even if he was the tool used to murder your parents. Seeing him around the Compound, in the beginning, was hard since it brought up memories of the footage that showed him choking your mother to death and cracking your father's head. Even though you knew he was indoctrinated and couldn't be held responsible, it still hurt to see him here.

You accepted Bucky's apology for his acts as the Winter Soldier, notably the murder of your parents, and managed to forgive him since you recognized he was a victim. Eventually, you and he became friends, putting the past behind you two.

So, you felt betrayed by them both.

The other Avengers knew that there was something not quite right between you and Steve, but they didn't know what it was. Steve never gave them an honest answer, no matter how many times they asked. Therefore, Tony spilled the beans on everything that went down between you and Steve, and they did not take the news well. They were far from pleased.

The team was quite dissatisfied with Steve and Bucky, but Steve particularly so because he crushed your heart. Clint punched Steve after finding out because he couldn't understand why Steve would hurt you the way he did and wanted him to experience the same pain you felt.

Tony and Natasha insisted that Steve needed to pay for his actions, with Tony recommending that he should move out. You merely shook your head and stated that it wasn't necessary, knowing that he didn't have anywhere else to go and the team had to be together under one roof.

Really, you had no desire for vengeance against Steve. You wanted nothing more than to merely move on and find peace. But it appears that the universe is not on your side, since you were unable to find peace in your dreams. Just nightmares.

Like that night.

Within the dream, you found yourself standing on an all-too-familiar road. The road where your parents were murdered.

"Help... my wife... help my wife."

Oh, God. No, please. You hesitantly turned around and saw your parents, and you knew that your plea had been ignored; you were about to witness them die again. You tried to run, so you would not have to witness this, but it's like your feet are glued to the earth, stopping you.

Howard desperately called out to the stranger who pulled up on a motorcycle once he managed to get out of the car. Slowly, he attempted to crawl over to the individual in his peripheral vision before his head was lifted and he found himself gazing at him. "Sergeant Barnes?"

His voice trembled with recognition as Barnes' metal fist slammed into his face multiple times, leaving bloody marks on the older man's face. A subsequent blow to the head resulted in a fatal skull crack.

"Howard!" Mom; your loving, nice mom. She was a kind and generous soul who only wanted the best for you and Tony. You watched as Barnes strangled her to death, thus committing a double murder.

You closed your eyes, as your lips began to tremble, desperately fighting the tears that were coming from witnessing your parents' deaths again. Trying hard to block out the pain your parents went through. Regardless of your relationship with your father, he did not deserve that.

Now, the Winter Soldier looked at you.

"Is it ironic that the man who took your parents from you is the same one who took the love of your life from you? You should know now that Captain America will never love you the way you love him. Bucky will always be Steve's first choice, and you'll always be his second choice."

You felt your fists tighten as you realized the soldier was correct. Whenever given the choice between you and Bucky, the blonde would always choose Bucky. He could not love you the way he loved him.

You snapped awake and screamed —screamed so loud it sounded like a siren in the middle of the night, smashing into your ears. Your throat became very raw and felt like it was about to burst out of your body. Tears welled up in your eyes as you took a look around the room and remembered that you were by yourself. The comforting presence of the blonde soldier was no longer available to you.

You brought your knees up to your chest and couldn't help but wonder why Steve chose Bucky over you. Why were you not enough for him? Did he not love you too?

Maybe that's why, after weeks of Steve pleading with you to speak to him alone, you finally agreed to meet him at a local coffee shop. You needed answers, and Steve was the one who could give them.

"Why," The mutual silence was broken by your tone. "Did you cheat on me, Steve?"

The blonde looked shamefacedly at the table before meeting your e/c eyes. "I'm sorry I just…" He let out a long sigh. "We have been in love since the forties, and now that I have him back and we can be together without fear of social stigma, a part of me still wanted to be with Bucky. I found it impossible to choose between you and him since I was in love with you as well, so I ended up doing the selfish thing and decided to choose him, too."

You shook your head at his justification. "H-How long has this been going on...?"

"Ever since you went to Paris with Tony."

You blinked at the soldier because—

...What...?

Exactly eight months ago, you and Tony traveled to Paris to finalize a business agreement for Stark Industries. It's been eight months of Steve cheating on you.

In those eight months, every time you kissed, every time he held your hand, every time he held you in his arms, and every time you had sex, he was secretly seeing Bucky behind your back. You felt your heartbreak intensify from hearing that.

"You have been cheating on me for eight months." You shook your head, e/c eyes fixed on the blonde. "Why didn't you just tell me that you wanted to be with Bucky instead of cheating on me? I would have been hurt, but I would have understood."

"Because I'm an idiot and I didn't want to lose you," Steve confessed, pausing for a second as though to carefully consider his next words. "But this can be fixed. A couple of months ago, Bucky confessed to me that he had developed feelings for you, as well. There is something known as a polyamorous relationship in which we can all be together. Originally, I was planning to discuss this with you, but—"

"But rather than discussing it with me, you opted to cheat." Another head shake from you. "I have no desire to engage in a polyamorous relationship. I am strictly a one-person type of man." There was a sniffle from you. "And this can't be fixed, Steve. Before I mentioned that we were done and I will now say it again: we are done. I will not get back with a cheater."

You stood up and started to leave, but Steve intercepted your exit by grabbing your hand. You looked at him and felt a twinge of sadness as you realized that the blue of his eyes was the reflection of the tears that he had been holding back.

"Please, Y/n." The blonde's only option was to beg. "I know I've made mistakes, but we can fix this. I should have shared my thoughts with you sooner, but I loved you both and couldn't choose one of you."

"You already did," You murmured in a faraway whisper. "You chose Bucky over me as soon as you started sleeping with him, Steve. I hope that you're happy with him, but we're done now. Goodbye."

Pulling away from his grasp, you left the coffee shop as you wiped away the tear stains from your cheeks. You didn't even bother glancing in Steve's direction upon leaving, but the sound of his sobs in the private booth left you feeling a little sad. You still loved him deeply, but you knew you couldn't get back together with him.

You deserved better.

XXXXX XXXXX

You were running.

The soles of your sneakers made a loud thudding sound on the park's pavement as you ran through it. Since you haven't been going for morning runs in a while, you've decided to go to the park to clear your head and do some aerobic exercise.

Eventually, you stopped running and sat down on the closest bench to catch your breath. You shut your eyes and exhaled in short breaths, a thin coating of sweat covering your forehead and the back of your neck. You haven't gone for a run in quite some time, and now you're wishing you hadn't stopped since it's your body is not acclimated to running this much.

"Are you alright there, bub?"

When you glanced to your left, you noticed that the bench you were sitting on was already taken. There was a man sitting there with brown hair that danced in the breeze to nature's symphony and hazel eyes that were the softest brown tinged with green that spoke to the soul of nature. And he was smoking a cigar.

He's handsome, You thought privately.

"Yes, I'm fine." You answered, your heart still thumping loudly in your ears despite your breathing becoming normalized. "I just haven't gone running in some time."

"Fair enough." The mystery man nodded, then reached for the water bottle next to him, and held it out to you. "You want it? You look like you need it more than I do."

You normally wouldn't accept something from a stranger, but the weather was hot and your mouth was dry, so you took the water bottle the mysterious man offered.

"Thanks a lot, stranger." You unscrewed the water bottle's top and drank from it. The water's coolness was refreshing as it slid down your throat and you smiled.

The man's lips twitched a bit. "I'm Logan."

"It is nice to meet you, Logan. I'm Y/n." You introduced yourself. "So, is this, by chance, your first time here at the park?"

Logan shook his head. "No, I come here whenever I need to clear my head, either through running or other means. Though I can tell that this is your first time here since I have never seen you here before."

The other man wasn't wrong in his little assessment. You have never visited this before today. You and Steve used to go running in Central Park, but now you are doing it by yourself in Westchester, New York. Running here by yourself wouldn't bring up old memories of you and Steve.

And you're kinda glad you came running here today otherwise you wouldn't have met Logan — who gifted you with water.

"You're correct in that regard." You drank some more water before ascending and meeting his gaze. "Well, It's time for me to resume my run. Thanks, by the way, for the water. Maybe I'll run into you again and we can go running sometime."

"Or," Logan stood and put his cigar out. "We can go running right now. There's a river just down the path." He pointed his finger to emphasize its location. "There, we can have a race to see who is faster."

"No, no, no, no. You have been sitting on that bench for who knows how long, and running has simply drained me of all my energy. That is not fair and you know it."

"Life isn't fair, bub. Do you want to do it?"

You bit your lip, debating on what to do.

On one hand, you would almost surely lose this race because Logan is clearly more muscular and energetic than you.

Yet, you were not the type to back down from a challenge, and you were eager to carry on your conversation with Logan. From this quick meeting, you could tell there was something so intriguing about him, and you were curious to learn more.

Moreover, you did not want to return to the Compound anytime soon. If you did, you would likely catch Bucky and Steve together, which you did not wish to see.

Subconsciously, you knew what to do.

"Okay, fine, but — what the hell is that?!" You pointed behind Logan, causing him to turn around, and you raced down the path, your sneakers hammering fiercely against the earth. The truth is, there was nobody behind him, but you figured that claiming that would give you a headstart.

In the end, that headstart didn't help you at all because Logan ended up winning, which wasn't a surprise to anyone at all.

However, a positive development in your friendship with Logan started that day. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, you two would get up early and go for a run together. It was the one time of day that you both always looked forward to. You enjoy talking to the man despite his grumpy demeanor because of his witty, dry sense of humor, and you cannot help but stare at his ripped arms. Because of his tank top, it was impossible to resist.

Though, it wasn't just running that you looked forward to. After one of your runs with Logan, the male expressed interest in spending time with you outside of the park and asked if you would want to get some lunch with him. You accepted the brunet's suggestion and then you had to convince yourself that this wasn't a date but just the two guys hanging together.

The following Friday was the lunch hangout between you and Logan. The restaurant was pleasant without being overbearing or pretentious, but the meal is laden with bacon and oil, and it should be shut down as a threat to public health.

The conversation was lighthearted and smooth before it took a serious turn. As he snacked on fries, the brunet asked if you were in a relationship with someone.

"I was involved in a romantic relationship with a man." You stated carefully, gaze keenly observing the brown-haired male. You weren't sure if Logan was okay with people who like the same gender, but his expression didn't exhibit any symptoms of repulsion, so you continued speaking. "After two great years together, Captain America broke my heart by cheating on me. I just wasn't good enough for him."

You scratched the back of your neck.

A hand was placed on top of yours, and you opened your e/c eyes to see Logan shaking his head and staring into yours. His hazel eyes were gleaming gently, yet there was a hint of rage present in them.

"Never, ever believe that you aren't good enough for someone; that isn't true. You are remarkable in every way imaginable. You are sweet, thoughtful, hilarious, and handsome. You're the kind of boyfriend any lady or man would be lucky to have. The Captain is not good enough for you."

When you heard Logan say those words, a smile tugged at your lips. You've never been the recipient of numerous praises from a single person in a while, and you could tell that Logan meant every one of them. He never failed to make you smile.

"Thank you, Logan. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

"No problem." The man shot you a smile, brushing his thumb along your knuckles.

You mirrored Logan's smile, and then your gaze dipped to his rosy lips. The ripped man was your secret crush, and you wanted nothing more than to press your lips to his and have a taste of his tongue. Instead, however, you removed your hand and returned to eating lunch.

The two continued to have a wonderful time for the remainder of lunch, with the conversations being light and informal. Logan seemed to share your sentiments because he inquired whether there was any chance of doing this again, and you replied yes to repeating this experience.

You found happiness in the company of the other man. So much happiness that the sight of Steve and Bucky together doesn't cause you any further emotional distress. You felt like Logan was putting your shattered heart back together after Steve had broken it into a million pieces.

The Avengers have surely taken note of your improved mood and are wondering what's changed. They didn't know who it was, but the team knew it was someone because you were occasionally spotted messaging on your phone while smiling.

"Who's Logan?"

A little startled, you turned and saw Tony peering at your phone from behind. A small smile played on his lips, but his question carried a serious undercurrent.

"A friend." The phone was placed in your pocket. "So, tell me, what's so important that you wish to speak with me today?"

"Don't try to divert the conversation, Y/n. You need to fill me in on this Logan guy. First and foremost, is he a boyfriend that I am unaware of?" After his words, there was a pause. "You know what? Don't tell me anything. You can simply provide me with Logan's last name, and I'll conduct a complete background check on him."

"Stop harassing your brother, Tony," Pepper stated once she came into the common area, her heels clicking across the floor as she embraced you. "Hi, Y/n."

"Hey, Pepper." You returned the blonde's embrace before breaking apart. "Finally, someone recognizes the importance of respecting people's right to privacy and refraining from prying for information." Your words were clearly aimed at Tony.

Although you and Pepper laughed, Tony could merely roll his eyes. As far as he's concerned, he did nothing wrong. In light of Steve's infidelity, the genius was more protective of you. Tony was worried that you would be hurt again, and he wanted to make sure that this Logan fella was a suitable fit for you. He will not allow his brother to be hurt by another man again.

"Considering Cap had broken your heart, I believe I have every right to probe into your dating life and find out everything I can about your other potential partners."

You flashed a smile toward your sibling. "That's sweet, but he's not someone you should worry about. After all, he's just a friend, anyway. So, tell me, what exactly did you two need to discuss with me?"

One hand was placed around Pepper's waist by Tony and they both exchanged passionate glances before gazing at you. You shifted your gaze between the two, waiting for an answer to your question.

"Well, Tony finally popped the question."

Your gaze immediately drifts to Pepper's hand, where, sure enough, a magnificent ring can be spotted. Tony had proposed. Tony's engaged and he's getting married.

Your throat exploded in a joyful scream. "Oh, my God! Congratulations, you two!"

As you hugged Tony and Pepper, you felt an overwhelming sense of joy for them. After everything they have been through together, they deserved one another. As you celebrated Tony's engagement, a twinge of envy just crept into your heart.

You had desired to get married to Steve.

You shook your head to get rid of that thought, as this wasn't about you and it wasn't the time to dwell on the fact that you once wanted to marry Steve. Today was the time to celebrate your brother's upcoming marriage to the love of his life.

"Y/n, you are okay with this, right?" Tony asked warily, voice trembling with worry.

"Of course I am! My big brother's getting married!"

There was another scream from your throat before you told Tony and Pepper that you would be happy to help them in any way possible with wedding planning.

The blonde and the billionaire requested that you select their wedding cake since you're familiar with their tastes and they had Stark Industries business to attend to. You said yes right away because you knew where to find the most delicious wedding cake in all of New York City.

"I appreciate it, Y/n. The wedding cake, at least, won't disappoint." Pepper said. "Perhaps you could invite this Logan guy to go cake-tasting with you." She smiled.

"Absolutely not!" Your sibling interjected. "And don't promote such behavior, Pep. I won't feel comfortable having him meet up with Logan until I've either met him in person or had his full name to perform a background check." He turned around to address you directly. "Don't make me ground you because I will if I have to."

Indulging in a hearty chuckle at Tony's treatment of you, you quickly pulled out your phone and started texting Logan, oblivious to the fact that a certain super soldier overheard the whole exchange.

You listened to Pepper's advice and asked Logan to go cake tasting with you tomorrow. After receiving his agreement to go with, you sent him a text message with the address to the bakery building.

The following day, you and Logan met at the bakery's entrance. Your friend was, as usual, smoking a cigar while standing in his customary attire of a black flannel shirt and blue jeans. As an added bonus, he was rocking a black jacket. You have not seen him in this black jacket before, but it's a great addition to his wardrobe.

He looked as handsome as ever before.

As the bell on the door chimed, you and Logan entered the bakery nestled on the corner of the bustling street. The air is alive with the fragrances of the bakery's creation, each one more tantalizing than the last. Sounds of laughter and chatter filled the air as customers chat with the bakers and each other, creating a happy, bustling atmosphere within the location.

From behind the counter, an employee, a pleasant and kind woman, smiled at you both. "What can I get for you two?"

"Hello there. Is your boss around?"

The woman's head shook with a gentle sway. "I'm afraid Ms. Stone had to leave unexpectedly for a family emergency," She explained, her voice soft and caring. Despite the news, a warm smile graced her lips as she went around the counter.

"I've been expecting you tho, Mr. Stark," She continued with a reassuring tone. "Please, allow me to guide you to a table where you'll find the wedding cakes you are searching for." With a hand gesture, the brunette motioned for you to follow her, her footsteps light and purposeful.

She led you and Logan over to a small table in the corner of the bakery where she had set out a variety of cakes to try.

With each cake that was sampled, you and the other guy discussed each of the cake's flavor, texture, and presentation, carefully considering which one would be the best cake for Tony's special day.

However, during the sampling, Logan's behavior took an unexpected turn. After the third cake, he leaned in and began to feed you, a playful glint in his eyes. You were taken aback by the gesture, unsure of how to respond. Yet as he wiped the crumbs from your face with his thumb, you felt a huge rush of great excitement.

You knew this wasn't something that friends typically did with each other, so you were confused by Logan's actions.

In spite of your bewilderment, you didn't try to stop him. You secretly enjoyed it, relishing in the playful dynamic between the both of you. But you knew that you needed to address the situation later, to get to the bottom of what was going on.

But for now, you decided to simply enjoy the moment, savoring the flavors of the delicious cakes and the thrill of Logan's playful gestures. Yet in the back of your mind, you realized that you would need to have a serious conversation with him soon. The mystery of Logan's behavior was something that you couldn't ignore.

Upon tasting several cakes, you settled on a rich chocolate cake with layers of raspberry filling and buttercream frostin. Tony and Pepper are going to love this.

"This is the one." You stated confidently.

The employee smiled as she carefully packaged up a slice of cake for you and Logan to take with. With practiced ease, the female wrote down the details of the wedding cake you had decided on, her pen moving gracefully across the paper. 

"I will be sure to let Ms. Stone know your selection," She said. "And may I just say, you two make such an adorable couple!  Congrats on your upcoming wedding!"

Your face became very hot. "Oh, we're—"

"—very happy to hear that." The tall male interjected smoothly, taking hold of your hand and planting a tender kiss on your temple before directing his gaze toward the female. "Have a wonderful day, bub."

With that, you and Logan walked out of the bakery, hand in hand. Rather than parting ways, you headed to the park to watch the sunset. Upon sitting down on a cozy bench, the sky was flushed with vibrant hues of pink, orange, and purple. The sun slowly descended towards the horizon, casting a warm glow over the world around you. This view was great.

You knew it was time to confront Logan concerning the situation at the bakery.

"Logan?"

"Yeah?" His gaze was focused on you.

"Why did you make that employee think that we were engaged? And why do you keep being so touchy-feely with me and feeding me? Friends don't do that, man."

Logan didn't verbally respond. Instead, he reached out and grabbed the side of your face, pulling you close and sealing your lips in a kiss. Your body responded to his touch, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of this kiss. However, as quickly as it had started, he pulled away, his eyes searching yours for a reaction.

"I — I don't understand." You stammered, heart racing with a mix of emotions.

Did Logan like you, too?

Logan's hand reached out to caress your cheek. "I like you a lot, Y/n, and I want to be with you, but I want to make sure that you're not still hung up on Steve."

"I'm not still hung up on, Steve."

It was the truth, you reminded yourself. You had moved on from the sheer pain and betrayal that Steve had caused you. Even though he had been a huge part of your life for years, you had finally found the strength to let go and move forward.

And it's because of Logan. Ever since he had come into your life, everything had changed. The way he looked at you, the way he held your hand, the way he made you feel — it was all so vastly different from what you experienced with Steve.

"You're not?" The hazel-eyed man's eyes were filled with both curiosity and hope.

"No." The word hung in the air like a weight, heavy and final. "I'm not. I like you, too, and I want to be with someone who truly likes and respects me like you."

Relief washed over Logan's face, and he smiled. "I'm glad," He said, and then his expression turned serious. "But if we're going to be together, there's something you need to know about me that might make you regret wanting to be with me."

You raised an eyebrow in curiosity. What could Logan possibly tell you that would make you regret wanting to date him?

"Tell me."

Logan seemed nervous, which was unusual for him. You watched him take a deep breath, and then he said, "I think it would be better... if I just showed you." His eyes flickered toward his right hand.

You had no idea what he meant until you saw the sharp glint, the metallic slash of the claws that protruded from his hands, like knives made of iron. Oh...Wow... You were stunned, realizing at that moment that Logan was a mutant. He must have been worried that you would not accept him because of his extraordinary powers

Logan's gaze locked onto yours, searching for any sign of fear or rejection. He did not know if you were someone who accepted mutants or not and he was laying his heart on the line.

But you weren't like most people in this world who harbored hate and mistrust toward mutants. You believed that everyone deserved respect and acceptance, no matter what.

"So, you're a mutant?" You asked softly, meeting Logan's gaze with a newfound sense of understanding, hand ghosting over the sharp edges of Logan's claws.

Logan nodded, his expression guarded. "Yeah, Y/n. This is a part of who I am."

A smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Well, that's not something that will make me not want to be with you. I like you for who you are, Logan — all of you."

You took Logan's hand in yours, feeling a sense of connection and closeness that you had never felt before. It was as if his powers had brought you two even closer together, rather than driving you apart.

Logan's smile returned. "Thank you, Y/n."

You leaned in, closing the gap between you, and kissed him gently. The feel of his lips against yours was electric, and you knew at that moment that you had made the right choice. Logan Howlett was the one for you — mutant or not.

XXXXX XXXXX

"Knock, knock."

As you pushed open the hotel door, you were greeted with the sight of Tony, his fingers fumbling with his tie as he tried to make it look presentable. He seemed nervous. His usual confident energy was replaced with a nervous one that no one has seen before. It was understandable.

Today was the day that your brother was getting married to the love of his life and the gravity of the situation seemed to be hitting Tony all at once. You didn't blame him for feeling a little overwhelmed now.

The clock was ticking, and the wedding ceremony was just an hour away. You, Tony, and the other male Avengers had gathered at the hotel nearby to help the groom get ready. Downstairs, the rest of the male Avengers was eating breakfast before slipping into their sharp suits for the occasion. But you had a feeling that Tony needed some extra support, so you came up here to check on the groom.

A lopsided grin broke out on Tony's face as he got his tie knot finished. "Hey, bro. Just in time to see me looking my best."

You chuckled, knowing that Tony always looked his best, but looked extra dapper in his tuxedo today. "You look amazing, Tony," You complimented him, grabbing his jacket from the bed. "Pepper's going to be blown away when she sees you. I can't believe you two are tying the knot."

"Yeah, Pepper and I are finally doing it."  Tony's smile widened, but then it faded again as he looked back at his reflection. "I just wish Mom could be here to see it."

Your heart ached at the mention of your mother. She had always been supportive of Tony than your father, even during his darkest moments. You knew how much she would have loved to see her son get married. But you knew that she instilled in him the strength and resilience to get through anything, including his wedding day without her being physically there.

You put a hand on his shoulder. "I know, man. I miss her too. But she would have been so proud of you today. I know it."

"I hope so. It just feels weird, you know? Getting married without her here for it."

You squeezed his shoulder. "I know it does. But she's with you in spirit and in your heart. And she wouldn't want you to be sad on your wedding day. I know that she is looking down on you with a smile. She’s just as proud of you as I am."

The billionaire looked at you, and for a moment, you two started at each other. Then, he moved and hugged you tightly.

"Thank you Y/n," Tony whispered into his brother's ear. "Thank you for being here."

You embraced him back with equal warmth, feeling your eyes moisten with tears. You knew that this was more than simply a hug, but also the overwhelming realization of the bond you both shared.

His words echoed in your mind, and you knew that he wasn't just referring to this moment. Your brother was pertaining to the unbreakable connection you shared, built on a foundation of unwavering support and love, through all the ups and downs life had thrown your way.

He wasn't just your brother by blood, but also by heart, and you're grateful for him.

"Of course; that's what brothers are for." You remarked. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Nervous, to be honest," Tony admitted.

You raised an eyebrow. "You, nervous? I honestly never thought I'd see that day."

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, well, this is a big day and everything has to go perfectly.”

"Everything's going to be fine and you've got this. You and Pepper are perfect for each other, and today is the beginning of a wonderful journey together."

"You're right," Tony agreed. "Today is the beginning of something amazing, and I can't wait to see what the future holds."

"That's the spirit, bro!"

You gracefully slipped Tony's suit jacket onto his broad shoulders, smoothing out any creases with your hands. Just as you finished, your phone dinged, pulling your attention away from Tony. You checked it and saw two messages waiting there.

One was from Rhodey, announcing that he was ten minutes away. The other was from Logan. Your heart leapt as you read Logan's message, telling you that he had arrived outside of your hotel. You were both surprised and ecstatic that he had managed to make it, despite previously declining your invitation due to his busy schedule and the wedding's location in California. He came all this way for me.

You couldn't help the smile that formed on your face after receiving Logan's text.

You quickly informed Tony of their arrival and that you were going to greet them downstairs. Tony, ever the curious one, suggested that you bring Logan up so he could interrogate him and get to know him better. You rolled your eyes at your siblings' protectiveness but agreed to go down and get them from outside.

As you stepped out of the hotel room, the carpet beneath your feet muffled the sound of your footsteps. You made your way down the hall until you collided with someone. Felt more like a wall tho. You stumbled back, catching yourself just in time to look up and see Bucky, standing in front of you in a perfectly tailored suit.

The two of you stood in silence for a moment, not quite sure what to say. This is the first time you two have been alone since the whole incident with Steve. You had seen him around the compound and during team stuff, but this was different.

This was the first time you were alone with him, without anyone else present, and you were not sure how to feel now.

Though, you did know one thing – You didn't hate him and from what Steve told you, he didn't hate you either. "A couple of months ago, Bucky confessed to me that he had developed feelings for you."

"Nice suit." You said, unsure of what to say, but wanting to break the silence. "I didn't know you had such good taste in..."

"I'm sorry," Bucky interrupted, his voice barely above a whisper.

This apology was unexpected, but you could hear the remorse and guilt in his voice, and it tugged at your heartstrings. He then continued speaking, his words pouring out of him like a confession and you listened carefully to what he voiced. 

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you, for seeing Steve behind your back. I was selfish and didn't consider your feelings, and for that, I am truly sorry. I know that nothing I say can make it right and that you hate me, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for everything I did to you, and I don't expect your forgiveness."

You nodded, acknowledging his apology and the sincerity that was present in his voice. "I appreciate your apology, man. It takes courage to admit one's faults, but you should know that I do not hate you."

Bucky's eyes widened in surprise, gazing at you in disbelief. "You should hate me," He insisted, his voice low and his gaze unwavering. "I took everything from you."

"But I don't," You replied honestly. "What happened between us three hurt me so much." You watched as the man bowed his head in shame. "I was so hurt, but I decided to move on to find peace, and I decided not to harbor hate toward you."

You placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder, shocking yourself with the movement. "I truly hope you're happy with him. By the way, I forgive you for what you've done."

You walked passed Bucky down the hall when he called out, voice very uncertain. "..Do you think we can be friends again?"

Bucky knew that the chance of being with you romantically was slim to none.

After everything that had happened, after the things he and Steve had done, he knew it would be impossible to have a relationship with you. That didn't stop him, though, from feeling deeply for you, from cherishing the time you two spent together. He wanted that friendship back.

You paused for a moment, uncertain of the answer. But you turned back to him and offered a smile. "I'll see you around."

With a final smile, you descended the staircase to meet Logan and Rhodey, leaving Bucky standing in the hallway.

Once you stepped outside the hotel, the warm California sun greeted you with its embrace. You scanned the area, looking for Logan. Then you saw him, standing like a beacon of style in a finely-tailored suit that hugged his frame in all the right places. It seemed as though he had just stepped right out of a fashion magazine.

You approached him, and a smile broke out on his handsome features when he caught sight of you. You couldn't resist wrapping your arms around him, feeling his strong and steady arms around your waist in response. He actually made it.

Upon pulling away, you asked what he was doing here in Cali, surprised by his unexpected appearance. He explained that his team had to come to California to pick up a mutant, and he decided to go to Tony's wedding with you instead. You felt a warm feeling spread through you, grateful for his presence here today.

You thanked him and smiled as Rhodey joined in, greeting both of you. Together, the three of you headed upstairs to your brother's room. However, as you entered, it was like a scene from a movie. Tony was prepared with an interrogation for Logan, determined to make sure he was good enough for you. You couldn't help but smile at Tony's overprotectiveness, knowing it came from a place of love.

Logan was prepared for the questioning. He answered every question confidently and called Tony a wonderful brother for being so protective over you, softening Tony's eyes a little. You couldn't help but smile at how well he handled the grilling.

Finally, Rhodey spoke, reminding us that he had a wedding to prepare for and not to interrogate your boyfriend right now.

Tony stopped, but not before promising that he would continue the conversation at a later time. For now, you, Rhodey, and Logan helped calm Tony's nerves down. Soon, Tony was looking more confident than he was when you entered the room for the first time. He's ready.

And as both Tony and Pepper exchanged vows and shared a passionate kiss, you watched with pride as your sibling found a source of love and support in his life.

The grand reception that followed was a magnificent spectacle, a true, deliberate celebration of love and joy. The banquet was a lavish display of food. The dance floor seemed to extend to infinity and was adorned with shimmering lights as if the stars themselves had descended to witness the special occasion tonight.

Tony and Pepper twirled and spun, lost in their own world as they celebrated their union with family and friends.

You stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, washing your hands when the door creaked open. Your head turned to the side to see Steve standing there, his piercing blue eyes focused on your form.

"Y/n, can we talk?" Steve asked softly.

You turned your whole body to face him. "I didn't know we had things to discuss."

"Y/n, I know that I messed up." He said, his voice cracking. "I should never have cheated on you with Bucky. I'm so sorry."

You stared at him for a long moment before responding. "Steve, I loved you. I gave you everything, and you threw it all away to be with Bucky. You broke me."

The man hung his head, unable to meet your gaze. "Y/n, please..." The tall blonde pleaded. "I know I can't take back what I did — but I want to try and make things right. I still love you and I want to be with you again — to make up for my mistake."

But you just shook his head, a tiny smile playing on your lips. "Steve, I appreciate your apology, but I cannot get back with you. Besides, I have moved on and I am currently in a relationship with a man."

The soldier felt a spike of jealousy. "Oh, who? The guy you took as your date?"

"Yes, his name's Logan and he treats me the way I deserve to be treated, with love and respect. That man makes me happy and I do not want to ruin what we have."

Steve's heart sank at your words. He had hoped that there was still a chance for them, but he knew now that it was over.

He had lost you for good.

"I understand." The blonde spoke, voice barely audible. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry, and I will always love you."

You nodded. "And I will always have love for you, but It's time for us both to move on. I hope that you and Bucky are happy together." You threw Steve a small smile before exiting the bathroom by yourself.

When you made it back to the ballroom, you saw Logan sitting down at the table, nursing a drink in his hand with his eyes focused on the dance floor. You settled down next to him in the chair. "Hey, hey."

Logan's eyes flickered over, meeting yours, and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He leaned over and planted a kiss on your lips, "Hi there." He muttered. "I'm glad you finally came back, Y/n. You were in that bathroom for quite some time. I was starting to get a bit worried."

You chuckled, feeling the warmth of his lips on yours. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I just really had to use the restroom." e/c eyes scanned the dance floor, taking in the sight of couples dancing to the music.

"Let's go dance."

Logan's eyes widened in surprise at your suggestion. "I can't dance." He protested.

You waved away his worries with a tiny laugh. "That doesn't matter. Half of the people in here can't dance. C'mon, let's go have some fun." You took his hand in yours, feeling the rough callouses of his palm against yours as he hesitated for a moment before giving in. He placed his drink down and followed you out to the dance floor. The music swelled around you, and you lost yourself in the rhythm, moving in sync with Logan. Pretty good.

As the music swirled around you, you felt a rush of joy and freedom coursing through your veins. This was what it felt like to be truly alive. And as you danced here with Logan, you knew that you had made the right decision in letting go of Steve and choosing Logan to be yours.

You trusted him implicitly, and you knew that he wouldn't hurt you like Steve had.

Logan was rugged and tough, with a heart of gold that shone through in the way he looked at you. He made you feel safe and cherished — and you knew that you could trust him with your heart. And who knows, maybe in the future, you and Logan could end up marrying each other.

As you swayed to the music, lost in the moment, you knew one thing for certain:

Logan Howlett was your everything.

He was your one and only.

Steve stood alone in the dim bathroom, the weight of his heartache heavy upon his chest. His tears fell freely, streaming down his cheeks in a never-ending flow. The ring you had intended to propose to him with rested on his trembling finger, a cruel reminder of what could've been.

He traced the edges of the ring with his fingertips, feeling every inch of it, every groove and crevice, as the memories of your love flooded his mind. The soldier had followed you into the bathroom, determined to win you back. He knew he had made a grave mistake in not telling you about his feelings for Bucky sooner. But he was scared of losing you, scared of being alone. And now he had lost you anyway, and the thought tore him apart.

But now, it was too late. You had moved on — found someone who treated you with the love and respect you deserved. Steve knew he could never compete with that. He wanted nothing more than for you to be happy, even if it meant he would never hold you in his arms again.

The blonde felt a wave of sadness wash over him, as he realized that he had lost you forever. Steve knew that he had only himself to blame for what happened, but it didn't make the pain any less intense.

The pain was like a knife twisting in his chest, a physical ache that wouldn't go.

It's my fault. I fucked up everything. You were an angel that flew away too soon.

He had Bucky, but he didn't have you.

He knew that he would have to live with the consequences of his actions, but he also knew that he would never forget the love he lost for the rest of his life — the happiness you had brought into his life.

With a heavy heart, he pulled out his wallet and gazed at the small picture of you and him at the carnival on your first date. Steve clung to the memory of that day, to the love he felt for you then and still felt now. A pic of two people in love, captured in a moment of real happiness.

The soldier took a deep breath in, trying to calm himself down, but it was no use. The tears kept coming, a never-ending stream of grief and heartbreak. He knew he had to let you go, had to accept that you were happy with someone else. It was so hard to do, so hard to give up on the love that meant everything to him.

And he whispered three words into the silence of the bathroom, voice choked with tears. It was a desperate plea for a love that he could never have again. And the words would never reach your ears.

"I love you."

XXXXX XXXXX

[sheepiemc]

Seven Stupid Reasons to Summon a Demon

Reason #2: drunk and can’t get home

CW: implied alcohol use (MC is drunk)

You’re on an empty street.

You don’t know what time it is but last time you checked it was definitely after midnight.

You concentrate and think and wonder what it is that you're supposed to be thinking about. It was definitely something important… you pat your pockets to look for clues, there's gotta be a reason you were thinking so hard in the first place.

You pull out your phone from its secret safe spot and check it for messages. Nope, just blackness. No juice… Juice… Blame it on my juice… Your eyes wander from your dead phone to the myriad of stamps and fluorescent paper wristbands decorating your forearms. The neon clashes with your outfit but the colors make you happy. Blame it, blame it on my juice! The song continues playing in your head and you start to dance.

Your feet throb with pain and all you know is you have to sit down right now. Normally you wouldn't dare to sit on a dirty street curb but your legs almost give out from under you before you can even think twice about where you are planting your ass. Ah, that feels so much better… but the sudden change in altitude makes your head spin. You put your head between your knees to steady the world.

You take a deep breath and hold it…

1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…

Why are you counting again?

Your lungs burn and you remember to breathe. You start to giggle uncontrollably. What kind of idiot forgets how to breathe? You look back down at your phone and something sparkly catches your attention.

It's the Harrison Porter keychain Mammon gave you. It's too big to be a phone Keychain but it's something you like to keep on you at all times. You absent-mindedly spin the keychain and watch it dangle from your phone. Your favorite idiot probably doesn't forget how to breathe… Do demons even need to breathe? They're so fucking weird already it wouldn't surprise you.

You keep giggling, shoulders bouncing, when a warm gold light washes the floor beneath your feet. You would've noticed it if your eyes weren't closed with how hard you were laughing.

A startled noise interrupts your thoughts and you look up to find your favorite idiot, standing right in front of you, with a worried look hiding behind yellow tinted glass.

You gasp and clumsily shoot to your feet, ignoring the throbbing protest of pain, and throw your arms around the demon, "Mammoney!!" If you didn't have his neck in a vice grip, you might've noticed his face reddening at the silly nickname.

"M- MC… were you just crying?" He asks warily. You can hear the concern in his voice.

You loosen your arms - but don't remove them from around his neck - and look at him. When your eyes meet his searching ones, you cock your head to the side and blink a couple of times. The gesture reminds Mammon of a dog trying to understand English. You touch a hand to your face to feel if any stray tears were rolling down but you catch nothing.

You return your hand back around Mammon’s neck and shake your head slightly, "I don't think so?"

"B- but you were sitting on the curb… a- and you were shaking?"

You turn your head to look over your shoulder and back down to where you were sitting. You take a moment to think about what you were doing just a moment ago.

"Hmmm…" You think audibly.

"Well, if you weren't cryin’ then what did ya summon me for?"

You turn your head back around to look at Mammon… What did you summon him for?

"And why are you in the middle of a street all alone?? What time is it?!"

"Ugh, so many questions…" you close your eyes and plant your forehead against his chest.

Time… time… You can check the time on your… phone! You pop your head up and check your phone!

Oh right… it's dead.

You show Mammon your blank phone. He grabs your wrist and inspects the stamps and bands.

"Wha- MC… are you drunk??"

"Whaaat? Pshhh, noooo I'm having fuuun…" you slide your arms from behind his neck and down his arms. You grab his hands and start swinging them. "The night is still young! Now that you are here, the party is just getting started!"

You let go of him and spin out into the empty street, dancing to music only you can hear. If your inebriated mind were paying any attention, you might’ve heard mammon whisper, "That explains it…" under his breath.

"Okay,” he says, louder so you know he’s talking to you, “maybe you can answer this: shouldn't you be out with friends? Where are they?"

You stop dancing and squint at Mammon.

"Friends? Some friends! They ditched me!" You fold your arms and pout at the memory just now surfacing.

You're new at work and you really wanted to make new friends. You overheard some co-worker’s plans to go clubbing this weekend and were excited by how fun it sounded. You asked if you could come along and they agreed politely, though with the way they were acting all night you really wish they had just said no from the jump.

"I was basically a third wheel until I was a fifth wheel, then I lost them in the third club…"

You feel an angry warmth radiating off Mammon as he practically snarls, "Those jerks… What if something happened to you out here?" You calmly approach and wrap yourself around his tense arms.

"Don't worry about that, now I have you to protect me, Mammoney." You press your cheek against his bicep and you can feel him tense again before he relaxes. You look up to him and see that cute dusting of red across his cheeks before he looks pointedly away from you.

You entwine both of your hands with one of his and pull him, "C'mon… let's go have some fun!!"

Mammon looks back at you, redness fading, and searches your face for something. You tug harder, letting practically your full body weight fall to the earth, with Mammon being the only thing keeping you from hitting the ground. You try to take another step back when a sharp pain prevents you from going any further.

You cry out and Mammon quickly pulls you into him. He fully supports you with a hand against your lower back. You look down at your feet. Man, they hurt. You let out a small whine and Mammon sighs.

"As much as I would love to go out with you right now,” he says, reluctantly, “I think it's time for you to head home…"

"But I wanna partyyyy," you look up at him and whine again.

"You can't even stand up on your own."

"SO true bestie…" You slump against him, cheek pressing to his chest. You hear mammon softly chuckle and mutter, "I'm supposed to be the irresponsible one here." He lightly pushes you off him so he can shift around with his back facing you.

"Alright, let's go."

You sway on your feet and cross your arms in protest. "BUT I'm too heavy!" He looks back at you from over his shoulder, grinning wolfishly.

"Need I remind you, you are talkin’ to THE great Mammon, second -most POWERFUL Avatar of Sin in the Devildom! And you ain’t nothing but a puny human." He crouches down so you can climb on his back much easier. "Now, c'mon! We gotta get you to a bed… and some water probably. When's the last time you had water, huh?"

You drape your arms over his shoulders and wrap your legs around his waist. He stands up, lifting you with no effort at all. You tighten your arms around his neck and close your eyes. Comfy…

Mammon chuckles. Oops, did you say that out loud?

"Alright, human, where are we headin'?" He says with so much affection, your heart swells.

Until you process what he says and remember you have no idea where you are or where that is in relation to where you live. Your eyes shoot open.

"UHHHH…"

"Whaddaya mean 'UHHHH'??"

"WELL! I UBERPOOLED HERE! And My phone is dead!! You know how bad I am at directions!!"

Mammon sighs in frustration. "How the hell are we supposed to get you home…?" He asks, more to himself than you.

"Well! Can't you do some Devildom magic and just whoosh us right over there or something??" You reply indignantly.

"Ya know teleportation magic is kinda a big deal right? And even if I could right now, I don’t even know where ya live!"

You blow raspberries, deep in thought. You didn't even know your address that well because you had just recently moved. Curse your shoddy memory!

Mammon sighs again and starts walking, which startles you out of thought. "Woah, what-"

Before you can finish, Mammon interrupts, saying "Might as well pick a direction and start walking. Beats standing around doing nothing."

"Wait, wait, wait…" you bring a hand to your forehead and start rubbing, activating the memory juices. Maybe there's something Solomon taught that you could use?

"Oh! Let me try something!" You stick out the hand that wears the ring of light and concentrate on home.

"MC… what are you doing?" Mammon asks.

"Shut up, I need to concentrate. Trust me, I saw it in a movie once."

"Movies ain't very realistic, MC."

You close your eyes and ignore him and think think think: about home, where you're most comfortable, where you can be your true self and not have to hide any facets of yourself.

You open your eyes and are actually surprised when you see a red line shooting out of your ring… and pointed directly behind you!

You laugh triumphantly! "SEE! It worked!"

Mammon looks impressed for a second before rolling his eyes dramatically and turning around, "Well, ya got lucky this time but don't expect things to work out the way you want them to just because you want them to."

You pshh him dismissively before noticing that as he turns around, so too does the line pointing home.

"Uhh…" you move your hand around and notice that no matter where you move, it always points to where you're standing.

"Hold on, lemme down." You let go of Mammon as he crouches to let you off his back. You take a step back from him and realize what the line is pointing at.

You slowly circle Mammon and start grinning like a fool when you step out in front of him, holding out the hand with the ring. The thin red line points directly to the center of Mammon’s chest. His eyes widen as they trace the line to his chest and his eyebrows attempt to leave his face altogether. He looks back up at you and the red on his cheeks spreads all across his face, down his neck and to the tips of his ears.

“MC what-” he sputters.

You burst out laughing and quickly cover your mouth. “Oh that’s so cheesy, I love it!” You just can’t help the giggles that escape.

Mammon scoffs and looks to the side, attempting to hide his blushing face behind his hand. You run up to him and wrap your arms around his middle and rest your cheek on his chest.

You close your eyes.

You can hear his heart thumping.

“You’re my home, Mammon.”

“I mean- of course, I am. I’m THE-”

You shush him, “Nooo, nope, don’t say it- let me savor this moment before you ruin it.”

Mammon chuckles softly and wraps his arm around you. He clears his throat and says, “As cute as that was, it doesn’t get us any closer to getting you to your… apartment or whatever.”

Your eyes shoot open again.

“Oh yeah,” You pull out of his embrace just enough to look down at the ring on your hand. “Maybe home was too vague… I guess the ring in the movie also pointed to a person rather than a place.”

You think apartment? But the ring doesn’t point away from Mammon. Hmmm… bed? Still nothing.

“OH!” you say out loud, “what about my sweet little boy, my prince??”

Mammon looks at you incredulously. “Who???”

“My cat!!”

Right before you close your eyes to concentrate, you see the relief in Mammon’s face as he quietly says, “Oh…”

You picture his fuzzy face in your mind, his cute whiskers, his soft paws. “Hey, it’s workin’!” Mammon says as the line starts to twitch. As you get more excited about seeing your little bean, the thin red line gets stronger.

“Alright, let’s goooooo!” Mammon picks you up bridal style and takes off running. You shriek and laugh, holding onto his neck and shoulders for dear life, knowing he would never let you fall.

[yuna542]

Random one shot idea? Secret boyfriend lix 👀

Reader and Felix are having a steamy make out session on the sofa and they end up getting caught by everyone after they came home from their schedules. This causes Reader and Felix to rush into Felix’s bedroom and they end up fucking due to the fact that they both got turned on by getting caught?

- had this stuck in my head all week 😩🫣

~Steamy~

Pairing: Felix x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Brothers Best Friend

Warnings: 18+, Smut, under 18 DNI!, pet names, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Overstimulation, | explicit smut, confessions, fluff, cum play, riding

Word Count: 6.3k

Note: Really liked that idea and wrote it late at night. Hope you like it!

That you were annoyed was an understatement.

On a Saturday night that you were supposed to be spending with friends, completely wasted in a club and making out wildly with some guy in a corner, you were now on your way to your brother's dorm to bring him his stupid headphones, since he didn't seem to be able to survive without them. Then why he had left them at your house was a good question.

Since he and his band were already flying to Japan tomorrow night for a concert, he had begged you to bring the headphones over since he was busy with his schedule all day and being the good sister that you were, you had of course agreed and drove the three hours to see him. Plus, he had promised to buy you the special edition of your favorite video game that just had been released.

So now you were standing outside the front door, headphones in your bag and with a queasy feeling towards the sky that seemed to be getting darker by the second. It was noon, in the middle of the day, and yet with the inky black clouds, a doomsday mood was gathering that made you gulp.

"Hello?" you heard a very familiar and recognizable voice through the speakerphone.

"Hey Felix. It's me. Y/N. I'm dropping something off for Ji."

"Oh. Yea. I'll open right up."

He sounded tired. His voice raspy and you immediately got goosebumps. Felix had always been the one of your brother's friends who made you blush the most. He was so kind, loving and charming. It was easy to get lost in his eyes or imagine how his plush lips would feel on your skin. Everyone thought about that, right? Just as the door opened, the first drop of rain hit you. You ran up the stairs and there the sunshine on two legs was already waiting for you. He was casually leaning on the door frame, smiling his charming smile and you were left breathless for a moment.

Even though it seemed like he had just gotten up, his dark hair a mess, his face still slightly puffy and him dressed only in sweatpants and a hoodie, he looked stunningly beautiful.

"Hey princess. Out so early?" he asked with amusement, spreading his arms to hug you in greeting. He had given you that nickname on the second day you had met. Jisung had taken the audacity of showing him and Hyunjin really old pictures of you dressed up as a princess, running around the playground. It was embarrassing and you had punched Jisung hard in the side, but since then Felix kept calling you that.

"Hey Lix... It's already noon you sleepyhead."

You hugged him briefly, taking in his engaging scent. He smelled of ripe strawberries and fresh mint. It was impossible for a man to be so perfect.

You looked over his shoulder into the apartment, but you couldn't hear the usual noises. Normally it was loud and chaotic in the dorm, but right now it was quiet. That was kind of strange.

"Come in!" he said and let you go ahead. That's when you noticed that there was actually no one here.

"Where is Jisung? He begged me to bring him his things."

Felix led you into the living room and ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh. I didn't know that. Everyone else isn't here either. I'm by myself. Chan, Changbin, and Ji should be at the studio. The rest have gone shopping."

"Oh..." you muttered curtly, glancing around the living room. It was relatively tidy, compared to the last few times you'd been here. Except for the piles of clothes laying everywhere.

When your eyes met Felix again, he quickly averted his gaze and cleared his throat.

Had he been staring?

"Can I offer you something? Do you want some tea or coffee? Something to eat?" he asked, his words coming faster than usual. Puzzled, you looked down at yourself. Was there something on your face? Did he think the white dress was strange? You actually liked it, as it showed off your cleavage a bit and sat tight on your hips.

"Tea would be great," you said, smiling a little in wonder. It struck you then that you'd never been alone with Felix before. He was never so insecure in front of the other guys. He usually flirted with you for fun, was outgoing and laughed a lot. But now he seemed to be restless. He nodded quickly and pointed to the sofa where a controller was lying. There was a video game paused on the TV.

"Sit down. I'll bring it to you."

Then he walked to the kitchen, but paused again and just as you were about to sit down, he said:

"You look stunning, by the way! That dress suits you very well."

Before you could react he had disappeared into the kitchen. Embarrassed, you tried to push back the blush that spread across your cheeks.

Shortly after, he returned with two steaming cups of tea and handed you one before sitting down next to you.

"When will Ji be back?" you asked, setting the tea down so it could cool.

"I don't know... They wanted to take care of something, record demos, before we take the flight tomorrow."

His knee brushed yours as he leaned forward to set his cup down as well.

"You can wait here... I wouldn't let you drive back home in this weather anyway."

His words snapped you out of your thoughts, which were only centered around the touch of your legs. Then you noticed that the rain was beating mercilessly against the windows and a thunderstorm was raging outside. Lightning lit up the sky and shortly after, thunder growled like an angry dragon.

"You're probably right," you replied, pulling your legs up on the sofa. It was comfortable and pleasant to be alone with Felix. In fact it was always amazing being around him. But there was this nerve-wracking pounding in your chest that wouldn't go away and it got worse every time he looked at you.

"Sooo what were you playing?" you finally asked, pointing at the TV.

"Nothing special. Trying to play Genshin Impact again."

Curious, you nodded and spotted the second controller lying on the table.

"Cool. What's your AR?"

Puzzled, his eyes grew wide and he leaned forward a bit.

"Currently at 56... You know about that? Do you play too?"

Amused, you nodded. In fact, you had never talked about it before. You knew that Felix was a passionate gamer, but that you shared his passion had never been a topic.

"I'm still at AR54 at the moment. But I haven't been playing that long either."

He grinned so wide your stomach did flips.

"Wow. I didn't know that! What else do you play?"

You began chatting excitedly about your passion, sharing games, and oddly enough, you shared the exact same habits, favorites, and experiences. It was nice to share with someone the hobby that so many people demonized. After some time, Felix pointed to the second controller.

"Do you want to play something?"

With rosy cheeks you nodded and shortly thereafter you did one race after the next on Mario Kart. Quickly you were in your element, became competitive and tried to outdo the other. In the beginning Felix won all the time, eventually it became more and more even. You cheered, yelled at each other, and laughed out loud when you beat the other one or someone drifted off the track.

You didn't know how much time had passed, but it must have been hours and your stomach was already hurting from laughing. That's when you tried to take away his view of the screen by getting in front of him to finish ahead of him after all.

"Hey that's not fair!" he shouted.

"This is Mario Kart! There's nothing fair about it!" you retorted.

"Really?"

Before you realized it, he grabbed you by the hips and pulled you off your feet. With a squeak, you fell onto his lap before you could stop it. He wrapped his arms around your waist and continued to play with you on his lap as if nothing had happened. Your heart was pounding as your legs were pressed against his and his chest against your back. You smelled his intoxicating scent and felt his skin directly on yours. For a moment you forgot to play and were only sucked back into reality when he laughed triumphantly as he passed you.

Quickly you continued to play, but you could hardly concentrate. He made no effort to let you off his lap, pinching your sides in between to distract you and even pulling you closer to his chest in between. When he was about to win, you grabbed his controller and ripped it out of his hand to hold it above your head.

"You really play unfair!" he laughed, trying to get the controller, but you just held it higher. A dangerous glint entered his eyes and you felt his hand on your thigh, holding you tight to reach the controller. You tried to dodge, but lost your balance. Panicked, you rowed your arms, but Felix had already caught you by the waist and within a blink, you were on your back, Felix above you, trying to reach your hand.

Your breath caught as he landed between your legs, his chest firmly on yours, his face just a finger's width from yours.

By now you didn't care about the controller and Felix also froze in motion when he noticed the position you landed in. He stared into your eyes, his mouth slightly open, his cheeks reddened under the cute freckles.

He supported himself next to your head so that he wouldn't crush you with his weight, and yet you felt his body heat so intensely that your whole body tingled.

It seemed like he wanted to say something, but his throat was tight. His eyes traveled down your face, to your lips, then down your body.

One strap of had slipped off your shoulders, the hem of your dress had also ridden up so that he could see a glimpse of your white panties and felt your soft thighs against his hips.

Immediately he imagined what it would be like to feel your body even closer. All the pent-up tension between you seemed to be stretched to breaking point and as soon as his gaze wandered back up and met yours, you wanted to ask what you were doing. You didn't get the chance to do that, because his lips were already crushing against yours. With a clatter, the controller slipped out of your hand and fell to the floor. But you both didn't hear that anymore.

Your head shut off, the tension exploded, and your hands were buried in his hair before you could close your eyes to return the kiss.

His hands traveled down your sides, resting firmly on your hips, pulling you closer to him until your legs were wrapped tightly around his hips. He tasted like cotton candy and peach tea. It was overwhelming. Again and again your lips met hard. Your fingers played with his soft hair, running over his neck until he growled into your mouth and the heat shot into each of your limbs as he bit your lower lip, his hands finding their way under your dress and pushing it further up until he could grab your ass and feel your soft skin between his fingers. Gasping, you rolled your hips against his, feeling what you had done to him in that short time.

Whimpering loudly as your middle met his hard length directly, he slid his tongue into your mouth. It was hot, sensual and it left you hooked for more. He licked hungrily into your mouth, your tongues met and his hands on your bare skin drove you crazy. When he briefly broke away from you after what seemed like an eternity and pressed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily, you both grinned.

"Fuck... I've wanted to do that for ages," he whispered in such a low voice that the heat between your legs became unbearable. You slid your hands under his hoodie, feeling his warm skin under your fingertips, enjoying the way his hard abs rose and fell with his breath.

"Really?" you asked breathlessly, pushing the hoodie up a little until he pulled it over his head and you finally saw his trained torso. You nearly drooled at the sight as he ran his hands through his hair and leaned over you again to press a kiss to your jawline.

"Oh yeah. Do you know how hard I've been since you started wiggling in that short dress on my lap the last hour?"

You exhaled audibly as you felt his length through the fabric of his pants clearly against the wet stain in your panties.

"Then do something about it," you replied challengingly, smiling slightly as he gasped as your fingers trailed down his belly to the waistband of his pants.

"Jisung is going to kill me," he murmured, kissing the sensitive spot behind your ear. His lips brushed over your heated skin, spreading wet kisses down your neck until you could barely form a sentence.

"I want you, Lixi," you gasped, fingers tangled in his hair as he sucked on your neck, one hand cupping your breast and squeezing it. Briefly he paused, gazing at you piercingly.

"Are you sure, sweetheart?"

Quickly, you nodded.

"Yes. Yes! Please Lixi!"

When you called him that, he could hardly resist. Overwhelmed, he kissed you again stormily, kneading your breast and rubbing his length through his pants on your now soaked cunt until you moaned into each other's mouths.

Slowly he kissed down your neck, spreading kisses all over your chest and moving agonizingly further down until his head hovered between your thighs. The sight alone would have been enough to make you come. His pupils were dilated, his hair fell into his eyes and he hungrily pushed your legs further apart to finally get a glimpse of the wet spot on your panties.

"Oh god... So gorgeous..."

He pushed your dress up until it sat above your hips and kissed your inner thighs. He didn't neglect either side as he did so. His soft lips so close to the spot that was desperately throbbing made you bite your lip so hard you saw stars.

Then he pressed a kiss right on your cunt, eliciting a naughty moan from you. Quickly you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back up to you, where he looked into your eyes in confusion. Breathing heavily, you tried to calm your pulse.

"Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face.

"Yes... Yes really. It's just. You're making me crazy and it's so just a lot right now," you said in a brittle voice. You didn't want him to think that you didn't want this. You have never wanted anything more in your life, only right now everything in you was vibrating. You were afraid that the moment would be over too quickly and you wouldn't be able to enjoy it enough. The corners of his mouth lifted again in relief and he cupped your face with both hands to press his lips to yours again. This time harder, but slower. You instantly felt dizzy.

Against your lips he whispered:

"I know what you mean. We can take our time."

Scarcely nodding, you guided his hands to your breasts as an invitation that you belonged only to him right now. It was a promise. A promise that made you feel safe and comfortable. You wanted his touch everywhere and you couldn't get enough. With a throaty sound, he sucked on your neck and pushed down your dress in parallel to free your tits.

"No bra huh? Were you planning on driving me crazy today?" he growled against your ear, eliciting a whimper as he twirled your nipple between his fingers.

You could only moan his name as he was already taking your nipple into his mouth and sinking his teeth into your soft flesh, his hand kneading a handful of your ass. You groped each other all over, falling over each other like ravenous animals, until a startled cry interrupted your makeout session.

"HOLY SHIT! No way… He didn't... Han… Jisung!"

Before you could react or even realize that Lee Know had come into the room, the snitch had already alerted your brother. Everything happened so fast that Felix was just able to remove his mouth from your skin when Han was already standing in the room, eyes wide open and stunned by the situation he had just burst into. With his mouth open and a deep crease on his forehead, he was obviously trying to find words. While you were adjusting your dress, Felix climbed down from you and both of you were in complete shock. Your cheeks glowed and your stomach turned as your brother's other roommates gradually came into the room as well. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't have lied. It was obvious what the two of you, half naked, had done or almost done on top of each other. Rattling your breath, you ran your hand through your hair and just wanted to disappear into the ground.

Felix stood up carefully, picked up his hoodie from the floor, and then looked at Han. Always on guard, as if he might jump on him at any moment.

"Are you kidding me right now?" it finally burst out of Jisung, his eyes flickering with anger. The rest of the guys remained silent and seemed to observe for now.

"Han, listen, that's not...", Felix tried, as gentle as ever, but Han rumbled directly:

"That's my sister man! Are you serious?"

They stared at each other in silence and no one really knew what to do. Seungmin was the first to smirk, and then Hyunjin snorted.

Warningly, Han looked at the others and then at you. Hyunjin and I.N both had to turn away as they exchanged a look to keep from laughing aloud.

"Relax, Ji! Nothing happened!"

You tried to soothe him and by now you had to stifle your laughter as well. The situation was just too surreal.

"Not yet..." muttered Felix and everyone stared at him, stunned. By now, even he couldn't hide his grin and that gave Han the rest.

"You little rat! I swear to god, if I catch you…!" he threatened and before he could chase him, Felix grabbed your hand and pulled you off the couch and into the hallway. Han jumped over the couch behind you and followed. But you were faster. You giggled like crazy as Felix pulled his bedroom door shut behind you and locked it.

With a rattling breath you stopped by the bed and heard your brother raging behind the door.

"Felix I swear if you don't open that door right now, I‘ll kill you!“

"Sorry bro!" he exclaimed, glaring at you with amusement.

"Y/N!" you heard Han shout, but his resistance subsided.

"Fuck off, Ji!" you shouted, and that's when he just grumbled.

"Come on, Han. Let's leave her alone. She's old enough," you heard Chan calming him.

"Let the two of them have their fun,"Changbin agreed with him, and they seemed to pull him away from the door.

Felix dropped onto his bed and looked up at you with a wide grin. Even though it was weird and the adrenaline was rushing in your ears, the tension between you was only more intense.

"Sorry," he said, pulling you closer by the thighs until you were standing between his legs.

You stroked his soft hair and tilted your head a little thoughtfully.

"We can forget about the whole thing if you want," you murmured.

He stroked the back of your thighs until he took the curve of your butt in his hands.

"What, no way. Now that I've finally made it? I've had a crush on you for ages. Actually since the first day you walked into our trainee room.“

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Surprised, you looked at him. You had been in love with him forever, but you thought he only saw you as his friend's sister, at best a random friend. But how he looked at you now. Full of desire and affection made thousands of butterflies flutter in your stomach. Dreamily you stroked a few strands of hair out of his eyes and the smile wouldn't disappear from your lips.

"Are you serious?" you asked for good measure. Even if you weren't. You were so addicted to him that he could do anything with you. He nodded and his eyes were honest, his features soft and beautiful.

"Do you want me to prove it to you, sweetheart?" He purred and pulled you closer. Breathlessly you nodded and there he began to take off your dress. You helped him and threw it aside, until you stood only in your panties between his legs. Attentively, almost carefully, he took off your panties and let his gaze wander up and down your naked body, as if he had never seen a more beautiful work of art.

"You're even more beautiful than I imagined," he murmured, more to himself, and his hands touched your thighs, your hips, your belly, as if you might break if he didn't appreciate your body enough. He took in every detail and you felt special and desired under his gaze.

Then he brushed his lips over your belly, your thighs, kissing every patch of skin he could reach. Only the heat between your legs where you needed him so badly, he left out. Overwhelmed, you watched him and when he pushed your legs a little apart, your body tensed with longing. You could hardly stand it any longer. You had to feel his body, otherwise you would go crazy. He closed his hands tightly around your thighs and looked up at you, caught in the trance of passion.

"May I?" he asked gently, and you nodded. But he let his thumbs circle over your skin and smiled.

"I need words, angel."

"Yes! Yes please!" it burst out of you in a trembling voice and there he finally touched the wet heat throbbing between your legs with his lips. First he carefully closed his lips around your clit, finally he sucked on it, which almost swept you off your feet. With a loud moan, you tangled your fingers in his hair and as he licked a wide strip across your pussy, your knees went soft as butter. He licked, sucked and worked your cunt for what felt like an eternity. Growled softly over and over again:

"Beautiful... So good..." and you feared collapsing at any moment as he buried his face deeper inside you, which is why you finally pulled his head back by the hair. He looked up at you with sparkling eyes, his lips and chin shiny from your juices and he seemed addicted to the next dose. But you wouldn't be able to take it anymore. Not with the sight of his perfect body, the angelic face that was full of lust just looking at you.

"Fuck... I can't... Lix I need you. Now!" it escaped you and the throaty laughter of him, gave you the rest.

"Are you that crazy about me, kitten?" he teased and oh he knew what he was doing to you. Shaking your head, you pushed him back onto the bed.

"Take off your pants!" you ordered impatiently and he threw them aside as fast as he could. A liberated sigh escaped him as his cock sprang free. His tip looked painfully red and you had to force yourself not to stare. It was huge and would break you apart, but it was exactly as beautiful as the rest of him. You could hardly wait.

Quickly you climbed over him, supported yourself on his shoulders and as you lined up with him, your eyes met. Slowly you sank down onto him. As his tip entered you, your whole body tingled. A sigh escaped you as he stretched you already, but the burn was pleasant, almost intoxicating.

His hands were firmly on your hips while he continued to look you in the eyes. Wanting to witness every second he urged into you.

"Oh God," you whimpered, digging your fingers into his shoulders as he disappeared halfway inside you.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" he asked, sounding out of breath as well. Quickly you nodded and that's when he grabbed hold of your hips, gently but firmly pushing you further onto his cock when you could barely do it anymore by yourself.

"So good for me... Taking me all in. You feel amazing, babe," he praised you as you drifted further and further away. Finally, he was all the way inside you and you felt dizzy as he bit and sucked on your bottom lip, waiting for you to get used to his size. Slowly, sensually, you returned the kiss, sighing into his mouth until your hips began to move of their own accord. You needed more, more and more, and Felix grumbled deeply as you rolled your hips fluidly against his. The little noises, sighs and growls spurred you on so that you took him deeper and deeper until you were riding him at a steady pace. Overwhelmed, his fingers dug into your hips and he moved his hips against yours until you were both moaning into each other's mouths. You made out wildly, messy and chaotic, while the sound of him thrusting into your wet pussy filled the room.

"Fuck so warm... so good," he moaned over and over like a mantra and you felt the knot in your stomach tighten more with each deep thrust.

"You're so big, Lix.... Fuck," you moaned, unable to get enough of the feeling of him filling you completely.

He began to trail his lips down your neck, biting into the soft skin by your breasts and licking over your nipples until you could barely get a word past your lips. Just before the knot in your stomach threatened to burst, you put a hand around his neck and pushed him back onto the mattress. He watched wide-eyed as you rode him, and a desperate whimper escaped him, which only made you go faster. You leaned against his chest and finally took what you had dreamed of for so long. His cock pulsed deep inside you and you fucked yourself on top of him without mercy. The sight of you bouncing on him, Lips open, face cockdrunken and your naked body just for him to look at made Felix come almost immediately and he forced himself to hold on. Your walls squeezed him just right and he watched hungrily as your breasts bounced with each roll of your hips. Han would kill him, but he didn't care right now.

"Fuck... Lix I'm not gonna last long," you moaned and Felix helped you guide your hips further as your movements began to stutter.

"Come on my cock. You look so sexy riding me.... Been wanting to see that for ages."

Your moans rose higher and you clawed your fingernails into his chest as he additionally snapped his hips into yours. Whimpering, the knot in your belly tore apart and you came all over his cock, making the naughtiest sounds Felix had ever heard. You let out a loud moan of his name, nails dragging down along his shoulders as you messily grind through the pleasure. He is groaning at the sight. Just as fucking beautiful as he imagined.

You collapsed onto his chest and he rolled his hips, savoring your high to the last second. "Good fucking girl, let it all go for me." He growled into your ear, accent husky, and the words zip straight to where you needed it. You grinded your hips lazily against his while you were caught in the flood of pleasure and desire.

When you caught your breath, you looked at him and saw that he was already looking at you, with a soft smile on his lips that made you melt.

He kissed you, his soft lips were like heaven and let his tongue slowly slide into your mouth. Still dizzy from the orgasm you gasped softly as his still rock hard dick continued to thrust into you. Carefully he turned you around until he was between your legs, his body weight comfortably on yours and he continued to thrust deep inside you. Even though your overstimulated pussy was throbbing painfully, your body was betraying you and demanding more. You wrapped your legs around his hips to pull him closer again and he buried his face against your neck as your walls spasmed around him.

"Oh God... Keep doing that, angel. Fuck don't stop squeezing me like that..." he gasped, pressing his open mouth against your neck as he slammed harder into you. By now his bed was squeaking so loud you could still hear it in the next building and his members would pick up on it too, if they hadn't already heard your moans through the walls. But you didn't care. You wanted nothing more than Felix on top of you, pounding into your sore pussy like that forever.

The next orgasm came unexpectedly, suddenly, as Felix thrusted so deep and fast that the loud slapping of your skin against each other almost drowned out the creaking of the bed. By now you were moaning his name between incoherent sounds and whimpers. His hands grabbed your hips and as your eyes rolled back and you came uncontrollably around his cock again, all you saw was glistening light.

Felix couldn't stop. As if caught in a trance he continued to slam into you, your pussy only sucked him deeper and he knew he had never had better sex.

"Mrgh fuck... So tight..." he moaned and it felt like you were floating. When he saw your fucked out expression, he growled loudly.

"Too much... fuck... too... too much," you managed to squeeze out between stifled whimpers and moans. He pressed his lips soothingly to yours, not slowing down in speed.

"Just a little more. You're doing so well. Taking me like a good little slut..." he gasped, on the verge of cumming.

"My good little slut... Letting me use your pussy.... god you're too good to be true, angel."

His words turned your head and as you came a third time, moaning his name in the most beautiful melody he had ever heard and your walls clinging to him, he came looking so beautiful that you stopped and just looked at him. You felt his warm cum inside you until he pulled his cock out of you and emptied his load onto your belly with a few more strokes. His puffy lips were parted, sweat was shining on his forehead and his eyes were rolling back.

The next time he looked down at you and saw his cum running out of your pussy, down your thighs and all over your belly, he wanted to take a picture.

"You are a goddess," he murmured as you gradually regained your sanity. Then he leaned down to you, kissing you, innocent and full of affection. The kiss was sugary sweet and you breathed an overwhelmed sigh of relief as he broke away from you to get a towel. As he helped you clean yourself up, you said with amusement:

"What have you done to me? My legs won't stop shaking..."

Felix handed you your panties, which you slipped back into, and one of his hoodies, which you gratefully put on. Then smiled at the sight of your legs and let his hands slide over your thighs.

"So I did good?" he asked with a grin, massaging your tense muscles. You sighed in relief and watched him. Meanwhile, you snuggled into his hoodie.

"So good that my brother and all your roommates heard us," you said then, your cheeks immediately flushing as you gradually realized how loud you had been. Felix wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your stomach to look at you.

"Do you regret it?" he asked gently and you brushed a few strands of hair from his face. His eyes shone like a puppy's and you could hardly resist showering his entire face with kisses.

"No way."

"Well... Me neither."

He pulled you closer and wrapped his arms tightly around your body.

Later, when hunger drove you out of the room, you slipped into Felix's shorts and you went into the living room together. Minho and Jeongin were cooking.

Han was sitting on the couch with Chan and Changbin. The three of them were apparently still working on something, but when you walked in, the conversations fell silent and Han looked at you tensed.

"Are you guys finally done?" he asked, annoyed, and Chan stared at his phone to hide his grin.

Felix disappeared into the kitchen to help the others cook and escape the strange mood. You dropped down on the sofa next to Han and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Are you mad?" you asked, poking him in the side with your index finger. He rolled his eyes and sighed loudly.

"No... Felix is my friend. If it's okay with someone than with him."

It was obvious that it had taken a lot for him to realize that. Relieved, you smiled and playfully pushed him. He pushed you back and finally laughed too.

"Where are my headphones, you pain in the ass?" he then asked and you took them out of your bag that was still next to the sofa. Relieved, he grabbed them and pressed them to his chest.

"Oh thank God! I was afraid I'd have to fly without them."

"Thank not God, thank your lovely sister."

He furrowed his eyebrows and snorted.

"Don’t push it!"

Finally, you all ate together and it was back to the way it was before. Only the intense looks between you and Felix were new. That you blushed every time he smiled at you and your stomach turned circles.

When the storm subsided, you had to make your way home and after saying goodbye to everyone, Felix walked you to the door. He leaned against the door frame with one hand above your head and looked at you intently.

"Drive carefully and text me when you get home."

"Sure."

The brief silence made you swallow and you looked down at yourself.

"I'll get the stuff back to you soon.... Thanks for the clothes."

He smirked, loving how his clothes were way too big on your body.

"That's alright. I thought it was really nice today..."

You smiled with rosy cheeks.

"Yeah me too."

He cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his hair in embarrassment before finally saying it, something he'd been wanting to say for ages:

"How about we go on a date when I get back? Like a real one?"

Surprised, you stared at him, inwardly shrieking with delight.

"Yes. I would like that."

Breathing a sigh of relief, he leaned down to you.

"I'll call you..."

You nodded, wanting to reply, but didn't get to as he was already pulling you close by the hips and placing his lips on yours. Sighing, you snuggled up to him, your hands clasped in his neck, and returned the kiss. You couldn't let go of each other. Your lips met again and again, his hands wandered under the hoodie, caressing your back while your tongues danced together, licking into each others mouths as otherwise you would be starving.

"That's enough!" you heard Jisung yell behind you, and with a smirk on his lips, you pressed your foreheads against each other.

"See you soon, angel," he murmured and you gave him one last peck on the lips before you managed to pull away from him. He waited until you disappeared down the hall before closing the door and walking back to the others with rosy cheeks.

"Since when do you have a crush on Hannie's sister?" asked then Seungmin with a grin.

"Since forever. Haven't you seen how he always adores her and flirts with her?" said Changbin and Han fixed him.

"Ji I really like your sister.... Please don't be mad that I..."

"Shut up!"

"What?"

Astonished, he stared at the elder and nervousness turned to confusion. Han expelled his breath loudly and the corners of his mouth lifted a little.

"If I could wish for anyone for my sister, you'd be damn close to the perfect version of a boyfriend," he commented, and Felix's tense shoulders finally relaxed.

Overjoyed, he grinned and could hardly believe his luck. You were as infatuated with him as he was, even though it had taken you guys years to finally find out about each others feelings.

"Stop grinning so stupidly! You better not screw this up!", Han drove at him and Felix quickly pressed his lips together. Although Han wanted to look serious, he couldn't help smirking either.

After all, he had been watching you crush on each other long enough. It was annoying by now, that everybody knew except for you. So it was actually relieving that you two finally realised it.

And in the end it was his fault. Maybe he shouldn’t have forgotten his headphones…

[imaginesbymonika]

From the dining table | Part 5

Pairing: Damon Albarn × Gallagher! Reader

Plot: Everyone's favorite topic during the '90s and 'OOs; Y/N Gallagher. The mysterious and beautiful younger sister of the two loud brothers rarely spoke during interviews but played the guitar like no one else. And even though she never said a word about her dating-life, the list of her rumored boyfriends kept growing longer with each passing year. Yet, there was one name in particular that just kept on popping up...

Read Part 4 | Masterlist

(1996)

Damon, who is sitting on a fancy-looking leopard print couch crosses his legs. A half-done cigarette is dangling loosely between his index and middle finger.

“So.”, the young MTV interviewer says and lowers her flashcards:” Y/N Gallagher.” Damon wrinkles his forehead and peeks at her through his long lashes:” Is that supposed to be a question?” She giggles:” Maybe. How do you feel about her?”

“About that Oasis bird?”, he asks, tilting his head in fake innocence. The brunette nods. “Well, for once she’s much nicer than her brothers.”, the men around him all chuckle.

“There’s a rumor that you two have been seeing each other for quite a while now.“

“We‘re not.”, he answers, maybe a bit too fast. He hopes no one caught it:” We only chattered once at an award show, a few years ago. She’s their coolest band-member.” At least he’s not lying about everything.

(2024)

Y/N steps into the kitchen to put on the kettle, a soft sigh leaves her lips while she hears how her two dogs follow her:” Where do you live now?” “Davon.”, Damon sits down on her sofa, and his eyes drift through one oversized window towards the sea. It has started to rain, and large raindrops are smashing against the glass.

“What’s that? A 2 hours drive?“

“3 and a half.”, he quickly corrects her, his gaze not leaving the stunning nature. ”Right.”, She slowly makes her way over to him before setting a green mug on the glass table in front of him. It has a picture of herself and one of her nephews on it:” Don’t you have a house in Iceland as well?” At that his eyes widen and finally move to meet hers:” How do you know that?”

“I’ve heard the album.”

He slowly nods and watches how she sits down on the armchair only a few meters away from him. ” You listen to my music?” “You came to talk?”

“Yeah, about that song.”, he explains and leans back, eyes leaving her form for the sea one more time. God, this view is extraordinary.

“What song?”, Y/N asks and it makes him scoff. She knows exactly what song he's talking about. Does she think he’s a fool? “Is it over now.”, he replies. “What about it?”, she’s doing it on purpose, he can sense it. “People think it’s about me. Is it?” the question leaves his lips before he can even think about it. She stares at him before taking a deep breath, a phony chuckle leaves her:” You can’t just ask me something like that.”

“Why not?” “Why not? Because-.”, she stares at him and blinks a few times:” Well, some people assume 13 is about me as well. If I were to ask you, if-.”

“It is.”, he cuts her off, the casualty of it bringing goosebumps to Y/N’s skin.

She stares at him in silence.

“Of course it’s about you, Y/N.”, he says like if it’s public knowledge, something that everyone should be aware of:” I mean, come on. All of it is about you.”

[fortunapre]

This part is definitely my favorite so far...

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𖧞 16+(suggestive), fluff, there’s definitely romance going on, fem-gender mentioned, Use of Y/n, swearing

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𖧞 oscar piastri x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𖧞 (scene iii) 2.3k i got carried away…

𝐀/𝐍𖧞 AHHHH ITS STARTING! thanks everybody who’s been interacting, following and reading! should i start a taglist? this is all new to me, but lemme tell ya, it’s def fun! anyways enjoy :)

Go back? (scene i) click here.

Go back? (scene ii) click here.

𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𖧞 Scene iii 𖧞 (𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧...?)

Tuesday, December 11th, 7:06 pm

“Seriously? What kind of question is that?” Oscar criticized me while moving his knight. “Come on mate, do better.”

It’s not my fault my mind went blank. How else am I supposed to react while playing chess? Of Course I'm putting all of my brain power into the game, because I have a burning desire to beat Oscar. Across from me, however, Oscar’s obviously beating me with ease. How was I supposed to know Oscar only wanted to play chess because apparently he’s a prodigy?

“What do you mean? My questions are perfectly fine, just answer.” I stared at the board in front of me, and the lack of pieces I've taken from Oscar. Then across from me, basically everything except my knights and king are lined up, having been taken by him. Ugh.

“Yeah, whatever,” I heard him mumble before he looked at me. I think this is the first time we’ve made eye contact since we started. “Um, I don’t listen to alot of music but something by The Neighborhood probably.”

Safe to say, I was baffled. My question was ‘What song would play in a movie about your life?’ I thought the question was pretty good, and was fully expecting some niche house music song to be his answer. But he’d surprised me. Yet again. Oscar’s surprised me a lot today actually. Maybe it’s just because I've also been paying more attention.

“Really? The Neighborhood? That’s my favor-” I began.

“Your favorite band.” He finished for me. “I know, I hear their music coming from your room practically every day.” He almost mumbled the last part.

“Um,” I wasn’t aware he was paying attention to anything I did, let alone my music taste. I was kind of shocked but decided to dwell on this new information later. Instead I said, “Ok, your turn.” I moved my king to the right.

Instead of firing questions like he was earlier, Oscar looked like he was really trying to think of a worthwhile question, given he probably only has a few left.

“Do you remember Christmas, two years ago? What happened…” He finally said. He looked up from the game, into my eyes looking for a reaction to his words.

My mind started whirring. Why would he ask that? What is he talking about? What happened two years ago?

We would have been 20, and I know that was the year the twins stayed at a friend's place instead of coming along. But… what could he possibly mean by that. What happened?

“Sorry?” I asked because maybe I’d miss-heard him.

“2 years ago. Christmas. In this cabin. Do. you. Remember?” He looked determined to get an answer from me. Like my answer mattered.

“I, uh, I don’t remember. What happened?” My eyebrows were scrunched together, genuinely confused by this.

As I answered, I watched Oscar’s worried expression slip away, replaced with relief. “Nothing important.” he said. He refused to meet my eyes as I watched him carefully, trying to make sense of his sudden switch-up.

“Ohh kayy,” I said slowly, “now my question.”

He nodded, watching me move. My pawn reached the end of the board, meaning I could trade it for a taken piece. I opted for my queen, obviously. I tried to move quickly, grabbing the plastic piece from next to him. I had to basically crawl over the chess board to reach my queen, moving awfully close to Oscar, himself. Once I replaced the piece, before moving back, I looked up to Oscar.

I smiled at him because of my new advantage in the game. But once I looked up, my smirk dropped and my breath hitched. I was a lot closer to his face than I thought. One small move and my lips could so easily touch his-

I quickly sat back down and folded my arms into my thick sweater, suddenly feeling awkward about the thoughts plaguing my mind. He smelled nice, like pine and spearmint.

Oscar cleared his throat and said, “Make this question better than the last.” He sort of laughed, low and awkward. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he joked. “Don’t be boring.”

I laughed awkwardly. Then, I thought about what I wanted to ask. What do I want to know about Oscar Piastri? As I thought, my eyes traveled over him, looking for inspiration. He was leaning back, now, on his arms. His sleeves were still rolled up and on his wrist was a small, braided bracelet. Orange and black: it must be from a teammate.

My eyes traveled to the rest of him. His hair was messy in the front, and darker than I remembered.

He started moving around, situating himself so that he was now laying on his side, head being held up by his hand. He was watching me, waiting for me to say something.

I finally thought of a question, and before I could properly think about what I was about to say, it slipped off my tongue.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

His eyes widened and he cleared his throat. He was definitely not expecting that. His free hand, that was fiddling with a chess piece, froze. He almost looked like he had stopped breathing as well.

“Because you’re annoying, that’s why.” He joked, looking down. “You terrorize me any chance you get. Obviously, that doesn’t make me very fond of you.” he went back to fiddling with the chess piece, refusing to meet my eyes, and I could tell his answer was true. But it wasn’t everything.

“Really?” I questioned.

“Yeah, really.”

“What else?” I asked again, wanting to hear his full opinion. I don’t know what made me suddenly interested in his view of me, but curiosity was burning in my mind.

“That’s two questions, you gotta wait for me to ask something…” He tried to argue, but I needed answers.

“What. Else.” I was determined. His eyes bore into mine, suddenly understanding that I wasn’t going to let him get away from answering.

He nodded and then said, “your voice. Something about it makes me want to stay away. Same with your eyes.” He went on. “I don’t know what it is, but they just make me feel….”

He didn’t finish that thought and instead moved on. “Another thing is your attitude. Your so fucking snarky. Some of the things you say and the things you do make me want to just lock you outside, so I don’t need to be near you.”

I didn’t know what to say. Honestly, I don’t know what I was expecting. He genuinely seemed to hate me, which shouldn’t be surprising. But I think something in me was hoping this mutual hatred could fizzle out after some clarity.

“Ok.” is all I said. “Your question.”

It didn't take him long at all to think of a question this time:

“Why do you hate me?” He used my same words against me. I should have expected he wanted answers as well, and I didn’t hold back.

“The way you act. You act all saint-like around others but when it’s just us, you patronize the hell out of me. I’ve tried to explain how annoying you really are to someone, but they never believe me, because to everybody else, you're Mr. Perfectly Fine.” I rambled, my voice slightly raising. “It's just SO tiring. And also,” Once I'd started, I couldn't stop. “Your stupid smirk you do, God, I want to just wipe it off! And your voice as well. When it gets all deep when you tease me and joke, I just…” I stopped myself and let out a long sigh.

There was silence as he took in everything I said.

A beat later he spoke. “Wow, Y/n, why don’t you tell me what you really think.” Oscar teased, breaking the silence. I glared at him, rage filling my eyes.

“You asked, I answered.” I said sharply. Suddenly, I wanted to go back to my room, as far away from him as possible. I rolled my eyes and stood up, about to leave. I was about to start walking away when Oscar got up and grabbed my arm, stopping me.

“Wait,” he started laughing. “Wait, Y/n. Now I know why you hate me so much! It's just that... I wasn’t aware of just how much. It’s a little funny.” He wasn’t taking anything serious, just grinned. “Come back,” he tried. “I’m bored, just finish the game.”

I looked at him. Really looked at him. His grip on my arm had loosened but it was still there, holding me. I went to pull my arm away, but his grip only tightened, as he pulled me closer.

His face was now closer than before. His smirk had dropped, and his eyes were looking into mine. I watched his eyes flicker to my lips, to my eyes, and then back to my lips.

He smelled like pine and spearmint. His scent filled the space between us, or lack thereof. We just held in place, inches apart. My heart was still beating from the anger I was feeling before. Except now, my heart was beating from something else entirely. I couldn’t tell you what happened in the next few seconds but the proximity between us plus the heat of his touch must have flipped something in me.

I tilted my head up slightly, my nose barely brushing against his. We held there for a bit, both of us unsure. But the longer we stayed close the more desire built and beat against my chest. I met his piercing gaze and then closed my eyes, moving a little closer. I was still hesitant, but Oscar didn’t hold back. He took my movement as an invitation and crashed his lips against mine.

I took my arm out of his grip and moved to grasp the front of his hoodie with both hands, pulling him closer. I had no idea why this was happening or why it was happening right after we just proclaimed our hatred for each other, but I couldn't care less. His hands moved to my hips, pulling us flush together. He titled his head to the side, deepening the kiss. His hands moved slowly under my sweater touching the skin of my hips.

My skin burned under his touch. I gained sudden confidence and put my hands in his hair, tugging at the ends. The kiss was heated and intense now. Our lips moved in sync, devouring each other like lovers who haven't felt each other in ages. As his hands felt me and gripped harder, I gasped. It gave him an opening to slip his tongue between my lips.

Knowing Oscar for as long as I have, I never would have imagined how good of a kisser he was. But why would I, imagining what Oscar’s lips feel like was never ever something I’d ever think of. At least it didn’t use to be.

Now, the feel of him is all that's on my mind. Our tongues danced around each other, discovering. His taste was intoxicating and I couldn't get enough. Oscar’s teeth dug into my bottom lip, pulling slightly, making me release a small breathy noise from the back of my throat. Oscar made a similar noise and started walking forward, moving me with him. My back hit the wall softly.

Oscar pushed his hips into me more than before, and his hands traveled higher up, grazing my ribcage with his knuckles. His touch was driving me insane. I brought my hands around his neck, pulling closer, if that was even possible.

He let out a low moan into my mouth and kissed me harder.

My mind was going hazy from the kiss. Our teeth and tongues clashed and fought, wanting to be as close as possible. I felt the heat of Oscar’s entire body on mine. Everywhere. Heat pooled in my lower stomach and lust filled my every thought.

Oscar held nothing back as he used a hand to grab my chin. He moved my head to the side, unlocking our lips. I felt cold at the loss of his lips and took in a deep breath. But not a second later, his lips attached to my neck, sucking under my jawline. The spots he kissed turned sensitive and warm. I wanted his lips everywhere. He traveled lower, sucking, licking and biting.

I was loving the attention he was giving my neck but was more desperate for his lips to be back on mine. I pulled him back to me and kissed him. Both of us were breathing heavily and our lips were becoming swollen.

I couldn’t stop, though. He felt so good.

I let out a moan into his mouth when I felt his lower body push against me. My hands went back to his hair, messing it up further.

Just then, the door opened and I heard our families walk in the door. Where we were positioned, they couldn’t spot us immediately.

“Guys, we're back!” I heard my father yell, and I pushed Oscar away from me, hard. He stumbled back, looking wild. His lips were red and his face was flushed. God, post-makeout Oscar was sexy, but that’s not what’s important right now.

The fact that I even know what a post-makeout Oscar looks like is insane.

What. The. Fuck just happened. Everything suddenly cleared and I felt immense confusion and embarrassment.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and walked away from Oscar, who looked dazed. I left him and went to my parents. Their hands were filled with brown paper bags of what looked like Christmas decorations.

They didn’t look at all like two people who just saw their daughter hardcore making out against the wall, thankfully. My face was burning so incredibly hot with embarrassment and simmering lust. I smoothed down my hair and put on a big smile.

“Hi!” I squeaked higher than normal. “You guys have fun?,” I asked, trying to sound normal.

“Yes, we did! Look at this honey, we found a small boutique with all of this cheap decor for the cabin. The Piastris bought just as much as we did so this place will be looking super festive in no time.” My mom had a huge smile on her face as she spoke. The twins walked in the door soon after, noses red front the cold.

“There was also this neat little bookstore I bet you would have enjoyed.” My father added.

I watched as my sister looked me up and down. She smiled a little while looking around, no doubt for evidence of something. She caught sight of Oscar and I’s unfinished chess game and then began searching intently around the room. She looked at me again and tilted her head. “Where’s Oscar?" she finally asked.

At her question, I looked behind me where I had left Oscar minutes before, but he had disappeared.

“I, um, I don’t know.” I answered truthfully.

“Here!” I heard from upstairs. He must have bolted up there earlier, because he looked normal again. His hair was fixed and he looked less tomato-y. “I’m right here, I was just in the bathroom.” He called, while jogging down the stairs. He caught my gaze and quickly looked away, putting on a smile for our parents.

“Have fun?” He asked the twins, ignoring me as best as he could. But I was just staring at him.

What have we done...

(scene iv) CLICK HERE

pinterest-piece 𖧞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜

[eclecticqueennerd]

Confessions

Part 5

*language, violence, mention of p*rn, mentions of dr*gs, angst, smexual situations 18+ please*

Soldier Boys POV

He couldn’t give two shits about Butcher’s vendetta against Homelander. He didn’t need his help in settling the score against Payback, I’m the first goddamn supe. The only reason why he stuck around with the boys is because of y/n. He thought he was in love before with the Countess but boy was he wrong. Sure, the Countess was gorgeous and had talent, especially when her lips were wrapped around his cock, but deep-down Ben felt like she was only doing things for him out of fear, a fear he didn’t see in y/n. Y/n had every right to be afraid, he blew up her friend and almost killed her for god’s sake, that’s not my fault, it's whatever those fucking Russkies did to me. He also killed one of her friends, MM was it, family members, okay that was my fault I was so high I couldn’t see straight. To impress y/n that he’s a better man than Butcher, Ben apologized, even though deep down he didn’t really mean it.

Ben and y/n talk about some of the most random shit. She’d tell him jokes he didn’t quite understand but would chuckle at anyway. He’d talk about meeting celebrities that have long since died and which ones were dickheads. On the rare times they had an hour free, she’d explain what was happening in Game of Thrones, ‘Why didn’t the dumbass just zigzag?” “I KNOW RIGHT? Goddamn it Rickon!” She’d have him listen to different bands from various eras; Ben decided that he liked listening to Wanted Dead or Alive. They’d bond over their love for discovering new foods, however, nothing they find will ever replace his love for a double bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon.

The rest of the gang slowly warmed up to Ben once they realized how fast y/n trusted him. They understood that he was a man out of time, and he needed to be taught a few things about this day and age. What he can and can’t do, how to address men and especially women, how to work a smartphone, and how to access the internet. There was one time, okay several times, Ben stumbled across a porn website by ‘accident’ on y/n’s ipad. The loud moans on the video echoed in the living room and Ben had to remember how to turn the sound down. Is it this button? *screenshot*. Ben would continue to fumble around with the device until he decided to give up. He’ll figure it out one day, but right now he needed to crank it out.

Frenchie and Ben would talk about their favorite illicit substances, Hughie would ask some dumb fucking questions which would almost always end up with him being tongue lashed by Ben. Even MM found it acceptable to sit on the same side of the room as him, they still never interacted. The only one that appeared to have a problem with how close Ben was getting with everyone was Butcher. Ben didn’t care about that though, he can go fuck himself. Every time Butcher would try to tell Ben something shitty about y/n and how he should focus on the mission and Homelander, Ben would just go about his day and reply, “Takes a real broken man to try and bring down a woman at the top of her game.”

But after all that, Ben’s favorite thing was going on missions with y/n and watching her work, it was his new religion. The way y/n’s hips sway back and forth in her skintight tactical suit showing the world she’s comfortable in her own skin, the brutality she showed towards their victims and the confidence she now exudes, Ben likes to think he had a hand in that.

*

Y/n grabs the knife from Ben’s belt. She proceeds forward to their tied-up victim, one that’s going in and out of consciousness. This is one tough bastard. His face all puffed up, lip busted and the hinting of dark bruises forming on his face. Then, a blood curdling scream,

“Tell us what we want to know! Where are the TNT Twins?” Ben saw his knife lodged just above the kneecap while y/n shook the man by the shoulders.

“I’d tell her where they’re at. She’s supposed to play nice cop.” Y/n twists the knife and screaming rang out again.

“Y/n the bastard is gonna bleed out before we get our info.”

“He won’t bleed out, at least not as fast as you’d think. Where I stabbed him just barely misses the major blood vessels that is embedded in the synovial joint. It’s riddled with nerves so if I do this,” she moves the knife slightly, the victim screams out, “He’ll feel it. If we don’t kill him by the end of this then any infection that penetrates the joint fluid, will.” Marry me.

“I don’t know where they're at now, but I know Herogasm is in 3 days at their place outside of New York!” The man confesses and gave the address to the house, Ben left the man tied up on the chair and walked towards the entrance of the dilapidated warehouse. While the two of you were walking back to Butcher's car, Ben asked,

“Normies don’t have that much force behind them to jab a knife into some assholes knee. What kinda powers you got?”

“I was a field surgeon in the United States Army before I joined the boys, so I know my way around the human body. When I stayed with Grace, they ran me through a series of tests and realized I’ve got strength and stamina, accelerated healing, heightened reflexes and a potential for hand-to-hand combat. I’m still working on that though. When training with Grace’s men, I was be too strong for them and break a bone or something so no one wanted to train with me. That was the end of that.”

“You know, I could train you if you wanted. Will be a little harder to break my bones doll. Plus you get to be up close and personal with the nation's hero Soldier Boy.” Ben throws in a wink for good measure. Y/n giggles,

“Thanks, but no. I’d rather stick with the knives.” Y/n waved Bens knife around in the air. Ben reached out and grabbed it and placed it back in its sheath.

“Which by the way you need your own. You can’t keep taking mine whenever you feel like it.” You could take anything from me whenever you want. Shit, take me right now.

“Are you twats ready to go yet or should I circle around the block?”

*

Y/n’s scent was intoxicating, her musk mixed with the vanilla scent of her perfume, not too light, not too heavy, just right. Ben, being the upstanding gentleman he is, let y/n sit in the front seat but learned the back of Butchers cadillac was torture. The limited leg room, lack of airflow to the back of the car and the shitty rear suspension almost made Ben regret giving up the front seat. Almost. If he positioned himself just right, Ben could see y/n tits bounce up and down in her top every time the car hit a pothole. Ben had to adjust himself on occasion to accommodate the semi chub growing in his pants.

The car was placed in park, and everyone exited. Finally. Once you reached the hideouts front door, Ben commented,

“You know, you have quite a knack for that.” y/n looked up at him questioningly. “Torture. Where’d you learn it? I’m assuming they didn’t teach you that in basic training.” y/n huffed,

“No. I picked up a few things from that one there,” she points to Butcher now slamming his bedroom door shut. “I just never had the stomach to follow through. I shall never intentionally do or administer anything to the overall harm of my patients and all that jazz.” Ben poured himself a glass of whiskey.

“What’s changed?”

“I don’t’ know, but I think I like it.” y/n flicked her hair back using her hands. She was being sassy, is that what they call it nowadays? Ben poured out a glass of whiskey for y/n and they both downed the amber liquid, simultaneously let out an exhale to help rid the burning sensation.

“We’ll I’m a bloody mess, I need a shower.” Y/n went to her room and grabbed a fresh set of clothes. Ben poured himself another glass of whiskey as he watched y/n come out of her room again. She was looking right at him and had this look on her face, eyes darker. Y/n slowly walked into the bathroom, keeping eye contact and gently shutting the door. Ben downed the glass of whiskey and walked over to the bathroom. She wants to get up close and personal with Solider Boy in a different way, got it.

@butchers-girl @xmariakx

@deans-spinster-witch

[fullsunstrawberry]

How do I request? I'm really new to all of this, but I just wanted a reaction to the dreamies helping their s/o when having panic attacks if you're comfortable with it :(

NCT Dream Reaction:

Helping s/o durning a panic attack

other members under the read more

*Warning: might be triggering, talks of panic attacks, anxiety, panic disorder, and mention of hitting yourself.

A/N: this is my first time doing a request! This one hit close to home (　˙-˙　) I didn’t have enough time to proofread each reaction yet!! also, I ended up having a panic attack before my accounting test, i feel like i manifested it with this..

[dreamie masterlist]

Mark:

• Mark was a little awkward, but in the best way.

• So when Mark was taking a break from practicing, he heard crying from one of the bathrooms. He didn’t want to bother them but it sounded like they were crying really hard.

• He knew he would keep thinking about this if he didn’t do anything

• He knocked on the door “are you okay in there?”

• You didn’t recognized Mark’s voice because your chest felt heavy and you felt like you were losing your senses. “occupied” your voice trembled.

• Mark recognized your voice, this made him ten times more worried. “Y/n, is that you? It’s Mark” He tried to hide his worry. key word tried…

• Hearing Mark’s voice calmed you but you couldn’t move.

• “Hey, it’s okay. Can you open the door?”

• You didn’t answer but he heard your cries getting stronger.

• “Hey-hey it’s okay, you don’t have to open the door! we can talk through the door.”

• Mark sat down on the floor next to the door and started talking about random things. His day, a show he was watching, even what the other members had for lunch.

•Never once asking why you were having a panic attack. He was more focused on getting you to calm down first.

• After what felt like hours, you opened the door. Instead of saying anything, Mark just pulled you into a hug.

Renjun:

• I think Renjun would be really good at telling when your emotions are off. Even if you two haven’t been dating for too long. You two were best friends before.

• He knows all your little habits and he’s been there for you during most of your panic attacks. Even when you are not with him, he told you to call him.

• He knew about how you always overthink everything. Sometimes even overthinking to the point where you would give yourself a panic attack.

• Today, you two were hanging out in Renjun’s room. When you started texting your friends in a group chat. But no one was answering until you got a text from someone in the group chat. But in a private message, instead of the group chat. They explain that the other two girls were upset. Once they explained the reason, you realized it was all a misunderstanding. But they wouldn’t let you explain why.

• This made you frustrated, how were you supposed to get through this if they weren’t letting you talk. When you saw no one was reading your texts anymore you started to tear up and started breathing heavier. These were your best friends. You didn’t want to lose them like this.

• Renjun noticed your breathing had become more irregular. When he turned his head to look at you, you had moved to the corner of his bed with your knees at your chest.

• “y/n is everything all right.” When you didn’t respond, he looked at your phone that was still on the texts. Understanding what was happening, he came to sit next to you.

• “Hey, i’m right here with you” his voice was soft. “What color is your shirt?”

• You were confused why he would ask you but you answered “black”

• He smiled “That’s one of your favorite colors, right”

• You nodded. “Most of your shirts have black in them” He stated. “You collect band tees, right?”

• You nodded again. “What’s your favorite band tee you have?”

• Renjun just asked simple questions, trying to distract you from your thoughts.

• It worked, you didn’t even notice you stopped crying until he pulled you into a hug. “We can talk about everything later, let’s just take a nap for now.”

Jeno:

• You were diagnosed with a panic disorder when you were younger. Not many people took it seriously. Which made you scared to tell anyone about it.

• Only a couple people knew about it, including your boyfriend

• Jeno was the most supportive person. He knew that some panic attacks can happen even if there is no apparent cause or danger.

• He made sure to read about panic disorders and how to help someone with them ever since you told him.

• This made Jeno your rock. He was always there when you needed him.

• But the hardest part about Jeno leaving to go on tour with the Dreamies was not having Jeno by your side.

• You’ve never had a panic attack without Jeno there or for him to meet up with you. Now he was going to be halfway across the earth from you.

• The first time you had a panic attack without Jeno, you tried everything the internet told you to do. You started doing random breathing exercises. Didn’t work.

• You knew it was pretty early for Jeno. Maybe around 4am, but you couldn’t think straight. You pressed the ‘call’ button on your phone.

• “Y/n” Jeno’s raspy voice came through over the phone.

• You didn’t even say anything, you didn’t have to. Jeno could hear how unstable your breath sounded. You suddenly got a notification that Jeno was Face-timing you. You clicked the accept button, waiting to see his face.

• “Everything going to be okay, y/n”

• You shook your head, not being able to speak just yet.

• “Can you look around for me. Tell me 5 things that you can see.”

• You looked around for a second, observing everything around you. “um, the closet, the tv, my water bottle, a pair of socks on the floor, and the ceiling fan.”

• “good job, now what about four things you can touch?”

• “The blanket, my pillow, the bedsheets, and my bedside table.”

• “good job, What about three things you can hear?”

• “Your voice, the ceiling fan, and the wind outside.”

• “You're doing so well y/n, can you tell me two things you can smell?”

• You closed your eyes and breathed in “Your cologne on your pillow and the humidifier”

• “Now just one thing you can taste, you're doing amazing”

• You grab your water bottle on your nightstand and take a sip from it. “My water, room temperature because I forgot to put ice in it.”

• Jeno smiled at you and said “Good job, y/n”

• You didn’t feel as dizzy as you had before. But you didn’t feel 100% better either.

•” Do you want me to stay on the phone with you.” Jeno asked already propping his phone on an extra pillow.

• You nodded. You got ready for bed all while Jeno was still on the phone. Once you layed down you put the phone next to your ear. Feeling at peace by listening to his breathing.

Haechan:

• Haechan has been there for you multiple times when you had a panic attack.

• He thought every time it would get easier but it didn’t.

• But he could tell the signs before you would have a panic attack.

• This one was no different. He saw how you started overworking yourself again. Taking extra hours even though you haven’t slept.

• When Haechan found out you haven’t taken a break he made you take a day off.

• The only way he could convince you, was to also take the day off.

• He went to your house and made sure you slept. But around lunchtime, he ordered your favorite takeout.

• He knew this wasn’t enough. You got a passive-aggressive text from your manager. This broke you.

• You started shaking, once Haechan left to get the food.

• You broke down, sometimes even hitting yourself without you realizing it. 

• When Haechan finally came back, not even ten minutes later. He was petrified. You were on the floor going back and forth crying. Once he finally unfroze he slowly walked up to you. Softly saying your name. You looked at him. “Let’s go for a drive” He grabbed your hand softly as if he was afraid to break you.

He knew how much you love driving around and listening to music. You had told him before that it felt like heaven. 

He made sure to grab the takeout before taking your hand to walk you to his car. 

 He even opened the door for you and buckled you in. Shutting the door lightly and putting the takeout into the backseat. 

Once he got into the driver’s seat he turned on the car and turned on the car. He didn’t say a word until he saw you open the window all the way and take a deep breath in. At the next red light, he connected his phone to the car speaker and put on the playlist the two of you made together. 

After about 10 minutes of driving, he parked on top of a car garage so you both can look at the view of the city lights at night. 

He turned around to grab the takeout from the back of the car and handed you your takeout box. 

haechan turned off the music and propped his phone on the car buttons to hold his phone up. He brought up Netflix and started playing the show you two have been watching. 

He glanced over at you, wanting to see your face. When you saw he was staring at you, you let out a small thank you. 

“Anything for you, y/n”

Jaemin:

• You and Jaemin always spend as much time together as you can. This meant you had to be around a bunch of different idols.

• Some were one of the friendliest people you’ve ever met. Some not so much.

• But you would deal with a couple rude and uptight people, for Jaemin.

• Sometimes you felt like it was all too much. You didn’t know the weight on your chest was because you had anxiety.

• Today Jaemin had to go to an award show. Which meant Jaemin begging you to come along. You would have to be backstage the whole time but you would get to see him a couple of times when he had to go backstage.

• You could never say no to him.

• Which you regret now standing near random camera equipment in a dress that you thought was fancy until you saw everyone else. You felt underdressed. But at least Jaemin looked amazing.

• You got to see a couple idols who you’ve gotten close to. But every time you started a conversation, they would have to end it quickly. Rushing to get back to their seats.

• When you heard NCT Dream had won an award, you were overjoyed. This moment could make up for today.

• You didn’t notice someone approaching you.

• “Are you Jaemin’s s/o?”

• You turned your head to your right, you were a little taken aback by the guy standing next to you. You recognized him from a newly debuted group.

• “umm why?” You didn’t want to answer just in case. Never knowing who would go to the media.

• “Just heard from someone else, I thought he would be with another idol” He shrugged “not some random girl”

• You didn’t have any time to say something before he turned around and walked away.

Your mouth felt dry and your heartbeat became rapid. This has never happened to you before, yeah sometimes you got nervous but you felt lightheaded.

you started to look around for the bathroom so you could get away from all the people. But you heard a voice call out to you. “Y/n! We won!” Jaemin jogged up to you. When you finally turned around to meet his eyes, his smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

You looked around suddenly noticing all the people around you. It felt like you had a spotlight on you. Everyone looking at you, laughing and pointing.

Jaemin looked around seeing people not paying attention and doing their job. He grabbed your hand pulling you to a random dressing room. Luckily no one was using it.

“Look at me y/n” He gently grabbed your face “Just tell me what happened”

Once you looked into his eyes, you finally broke down. Rambling about how he should date another idol and not some random girl. You started to ramble about how you weren’t good enough when Jaemin stopped you by placing both of his hands to your face. “Never say you are not good enough for me. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. Who put these lies in your head”

You told him about the newly debuted idol who had stopped and talked to you.

“Y/n never let someone change how you feel think about us” Jaemin pulled you into a hug. “And never doubt us again” he continued, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

Chenle:

• Chenle thought you were the most confident person he has ever meant.

• He never really checked on you, he didn’t really think he had to.

• You both have been dating for about 5 months now.

• Chenle told you about how his family was planning to visit. He wanted you to be there too. He told you when they come to visit you should stay with him at his house so you can spend every second with his family.

• This was frightening to you. Chenle’s family is very wealthy unlike your family is barely staying afloat when you couldn't help. Chenle knew you didn’t come from money but he didn’t know how hard it could be sometimes.

• You started being distant, not really telling him why. He even tried to ask the other members.

• In a few days Chenle’s family was supposed to fly down. You tried to ignore Chenle, hoping he wouldn’t talk to you about visiting his family.

• But you can’t hide from Chenle. When you got back from your part-time job, you found Chenle cooking in your kitchen.

• “Hey, your back! I’m making dinner” Chenle smiled.

• He sensed you were nervous. Wondering what he did wrong.

• Once you sat down at the dinner table he decided to ask you what was wrong.

• “It’s nothing Chenle.” you couldn’t make eye contact.

• “It’s not nothing! You’ve been ignoring me. My family is coming down in a few days and I haven’t gotten a single text message or phone call from you” Chenle started to rant “did I do something wrong? Is it my family? Do you not want to meet my family” he continued.

• When you finally made eye contact with Chenle you broke down. “i’m so sorry! I want to meet your family but i’m afraid i’m not good enough”

•”Y/n, hey, look at me” he slowly grabbed your hands. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. You don’t have to meet them yet.”

• This didn’t really help because you did want to meet them. But you couldn’t get the idea of them hating you out of your head.

• Your cries grew louder.

• “Hey, hey, hey, what if I planned a dinner instead. You can meet them over dinner and then we can go back to your place after it. I will be by your side the whole time.”

• Chenle rambling made started making you smile. He was trying everything to make you comfortable. You slowly pulled him into a hug. “thank you.”

Jisung:

• Jisung has also had panic attacks so he knows exactly what they feel like.

• That doesn’t mean he knows how to help you deal with them. He doesn’t even know how to help himself.

• When you guys decided to get together, you both talked for hours.

• After your hours-long trauma dumping session he looked up a bunch of articles on how to deal with someone who is having a panic attack and how to notice the signs.

• He didn’t expect you to have a panic attack so early on in your guys’ relationship.

• You’ve been studying for your finals. Even missing some meals because you were too focused on studying.

• Jisung decided to bring you your favorite takeout as a surprise. He knew you were studying really hard so he wanted you to take a break and take care of yourself.

• What he didn’t expect was for you to break down crying, mumbling about how your professor emailed you about the exam date had been changed and it was the next day, instead of next week. You couldn’t breathe, your chest felt heavy.

• You have always had test anxiety and a professor randomly changing an exam date was too much for you.

• Jisung quickly placed the food on the table before he sat down on the floor next to you. He knew nothing he said would really help with this, so instead, he rubbed your back. Silently encouraging you to take bigger breaths. Once your breath started slowing down again, he spoke “What class is this for?”

• “Science” You whispered, not wanting to hear your voice break.

• “Hey, I am pretty good at science, let me help you study.” He smiled

• “Jisung, your not good at science” you chuckled knowing he wasn’t the best in school.

• “Fine, fine, what if I call Jeno! He was top 10 in his school after exams” He suggested, already reaching for his phone.

• You smiled and let out a small “thank you”

•“He said he is on his way, let’s eat before he gets here”

• Jisung pulled you up from the floor and wiped your tears off your face.

[svltzmans]

she's just not into you - r.b.

robin buckley x fem!lesbian!reader

steve has been looking at y/n y/l/n for months, to no avail. she just seems to have no interest, even with steve's kind gestures. he doesn't understand why. robin does.

a/n:

hi!! omg this is the first time i'm ever writing something like this! i hope someone sees it and likes it lol :) pls ignore any grammar mistakes i tried my best!!

"i can't believe you managed to score a date with the hottest girl in all of hawkins after my millions of failed attempts", steve remarks, his hands running through his almost-too-long coffee-colored locks. "you've seen it! she just isn't into me at all."

"well, you're not exactly tom cruise or anything", robin responds sarcastically, still lugging her trumpet case from the pep rally.

"tom cruise probably couldn't even pull y/n y/l/n anyway."

"but i could."

"don't remind me!"

the two best friends continue down the halls of hawkins high, robin's heart still pounding remembering what she had managed to pull off minutes prior.

she has a date. a real one.

with y/n y/l/n.

she feels like she'll always remember the exact moment y/n's lips lifted into a smile as she accepted her offer.

the hawkins high pep rally was one of robin's least favorite events of the year.

she loved playing the trumpet. she actually really did.

but playing it in front of her high school full of judgemental jocks and cheerleaders wasn't quite her speed.

nonetheless, she knew she would get to see y/n y/l/n in the crowd. and that made her confidently apply a little extra makeup in steve's car, despite the background noise of steve's babbling.

robin's heartbeat kicked up the second steve pulled into the hawkins high parking lot. she scanned the crowd, but caught no sight of the girl she wanted to see.

that was, until she stepped into the stuffy gym and began to ascend the bleachers.

"robin!", a familiar voice sang.

"oh, y/n! hi!"

"i'm excited to hear you play. i'll be right near the band section!"

those words make robin's stomach start to twist.

"i'll make sure to play as best as i can then!"

y/n laughs in a way that makes robin's cheeks flush a red so deep it's almost maroon.

"oh, y/n, i wanted to ask you a question actually."

oh god, it's happening.

"what's up, robin?"

it's actually happening.

"can you meet me below the bleachers at the end of the pep rally?"

robin's heart pounds while she waits for a response. sure, y/n doesn't know her plans, at least not yet. but simply the thought of her and y/n in privacy makes her feel nervous.

"yeah! i'll meet you there!"

robin simply smiles genuinely, nods, and starts the short walk to the band section of the bleachers.

the pep rally flies by in a blur. robin almost forgets the songs she has to play countless times, her mind only focused on what she wanted to say to y/n.

finally, the student population starts to file out of the gym, and robin makes her way to the bottom of the bleachers. to her surprise, y/n is already standing there, leaning against the wall.

"hey rob!"

the nickname sends a chill down robin's spine.

"y/n! you beat me here!"

"i couldn't keep the best trumpet player in hawkins waiting."

robin's face falls flush again, her hands nervously folded in front of her.

"i guess i'm okay. lots of practice."

"no, robin, you're really good at it. i know a pep rally is supposed to be about school spirit and whatever other bullshit, but i was watching you play. and trying to listen despite how loud everything was."

robin is shaken by how genuine y/n sounds. she knew y/n was kind. she had just never experienced it this personally.

she knows she can't hesitate any longer.

"y/n, do you wanna maybe go get a coffee with me tomorrow? after school?"

she had done it. she had asked one of the most coveted girls at hawkins high on a date.

countless hawkins boys had asked y/n out. robin had even witnessed some of the rejections y/n had dished out, noting the guilty look on the girl's face.

and steve was right. he had tried, quite a few different times. y/n was always kind to him, but never in a more than platonic way. he didn't understand why. had he done something wrong?

"of course i will, robs. that sounds like a lot of fun."

robin then understood why.

[dynamic-swap-au-archive]

why does noodle have so many scars on her face and who do I need to scar for rest of There life's?

( I'm not angry I'm just FURIOUS )

the good news is that you get to be furious at my favorite thing to be angry about, the government !

lets get to know dynaswap noodle :>

in this instance, what was swapped between her and russel were their ages ! russel is our bright 8 year old boy when he first met the rest of the band, and noodle was only barely in her 20s.

what this means for her is that she'd lived her childhood, her teenage years, and the very cusp of her adulthood as a tool for the government. raised as a killing machine and forced to act on it.

the scars on her body are the memories of a hard life and a stolen childhood.

in the end, she escaped because her program was on the cusp of being caught. not wanting a potentially international incident, they'd wanted to cut their losses by simply killing the children they'd ruined and pretending it never happened.

she ran, and in her escape he'd found herself wandering the streets of england.

it'd been total chance that she'd happened upon a poster advertising for the role of guitarist in a little two-person band known as the Gorillaz. she'd never played a guitar before, but she saw this as a sign from the universe. -besides, she's a fast learner

while her origin was dark, she is anything but ! she absolutely delights in this chance at a second life, a Real life. wishing to live life to the fullest and find everything it has to offers. a sweetheart, a gifted artist, a scarred soul desperate for the chance she never thought she'd get to have.

as such, this band means everything to her, no matter how broken it may be. it's the only family she's ever known, the only true life she's ever gotten to live.

she watches over russel as a big sibling he's never had, taking care of him and nurturing his potential in every way she can

likewise, she sees much of herself in murdoc, a sort of father figure (even if he's less stable than her at times). her scars run deep, and with them come an anger and confusion that she often doesn't know what to do with. but she's determined to find her way, and find it with her family.

... even if she happens to butt heads with them, or more accurate have her head butt into.

most people butt heads with stu, but he's still a part of her family. he may be a slave to his emotions (and unable to filter a single thought in his head), at the core of everything he Means well. he doesn't Want to hurt anyone, he just doesn't know how to control himself anymore. something she can Also see herself in.

she wouldn't be here in her new life if it wasn't for him, and so she reaches out no matter how prickly he may be. sometimes she gets pricked for her efforts, and sometimes she makes her way through.

besides, both of her stinky boys adore russel, would never show him the teeth they gnaw on each other with. and that means something.

... of course, this all raises the question of how she's able to perform, if she's supposed to be on the run from the japanese government. and that would be her mask !

she actually has many of them ! she wears them while performing, for promotional material, and while out of the house ! though her main one is derivative of her first mask, the uniform she'd worn once upon a time.

of course, her Favorite mask is the one russel made for her

this makes her very mysterious in the eyes of the fans, and quite androgynous too ! unintentionally so, At First.

living the kind of life that she did before, her gender had never mattered to her, and it really doesn't now either. when she's asked what gender she is, she simply doesn't answer.

and in the end, she figures that she's nonbinary ! or perhaps agender. or perhaps the label doesn't matter, as long as she knows who she is. of course, she still uses she/her, and why shouldn't she? they're perfectly good pronouns to have.

and yes, she likes girls

if you'd like to see more of noodle, and more of this au as a whole, please feel free to check out my full au guide ! laying out everything the au has to offer in story order [Link]

and of course, I have a guide for canon gorillaz here [Link]

and feel free to talk to me about this au ^^ I always enjoy it @internetcartoon