#I still want to finish it I just have no ideas T_T

[noonaishere]

When you’re debating a fic that almost feels like an Ateez ARG... but you don’t know if there’s enough ateez fans that crossover with ARG fans...

[noxtivagus]

head in hands FINAL FANTASY

[mmogurl]

Dragonseed Chapter 2 : Coveted

18+ | 3.0k | Daemon Targaryen X Female Reader | dangerous, sex-crazed, raunchy Daemon | hyper possessive behavior, ownership, objectifying, big breast reader, non con, non consensual, P in V, lots of typical Daemon cussing, rough, forceful sex, violence, threats of violence.

Daemon has been feeling a lot better now that he's found you, his Dragonseed. No longer deprived of his carnal appetites, he's been keeping you close by ever since bringing you to work at Dragonstone. You return his generosity by satisfying his every need, although not always in the way you expect to. Daemon is a rather unpredictable man after all. I came up with the idea for this after reading page 914 in Fire and Blood. In the show, they recruit Valyrian blooded bastards to ride the unclaimed dragons from King’s Landing, but in the book there is actually a fishing village at the base of the island where Dragonstone is located. The men of House Targaryen were known to seek pleasure among the commonfolk there quite often, claiming their ‘first night’ rights and sowing ‘dragonseeds.’ Sorry it came out a little late, I've been sick again the past couple of days.. T_T

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 On AO3

Daemon wet his face in the basin, his fair skin caked with dirt and sweat from a day of training in the yard. He lathered a generous amount of milk soap into his hands and began to wash his face. He’d really prefer to take a bath and clean thoroughly, but he simply didn’t have enough time if he was going to wet his cock in you before supper.

Grinning he began to think of you as he ran a wet cloth under his armpits and then down to his groin. Standing buck arse naked in his chambers, his cock is already growing rigid in his hands at the thought of you, his little bird, his dragonseed, his secret paramour, and how hard he was going to fuck you when he got his hands on you.

Just as promised, he’d proffered you a position within the castle at Dragonstone easily enough, an assistant cook in the kitchen. Given you were so young and fit, the staff didn’t mind having another set of legs to fetch and carry things to and from the pantry. And given his high status, it wasn’t as though any of them would dare deny his request either.

The arrangement has been working out perfectly well for both of them so far. And since Rhaenyra never even bothered to join him in bed as of late, it had been painless enough to bring you into his chamber whenever he wished it. And oh how he had wished for it often, enjoying every moment of breaking in his new lover, and you were always so eager to please him. The biggest challenge was keeping you quiet so that his wife would not hear your screams of pleasure from down the way; he quite often accomplished this by covering your mouth, whether it be by his own hand or a gag of cloth to silence those heated moans.

Fuck, he was already at full mast, his manhood throbbing and twitching at just recalling the image of your full bosom bouncing beneath him as he restrained the sounds coming from your pretty little lips. Oh, how he’d love to let you go and hear every beautiful tune you might sing as he plunged his cock into your depths, but he’d rather not listen to the bitching that would ensue from Rhaenyra’s cantankerous mouth as a result.

Daemon finishes the quick job of freshening up, rinsing his body with more water from the basin and drying off before he gets dressed again. He rushes as he ties up his shirt, not wanting to miss the opportunity to have you sooner, rather than later tonight. His blood is pumping even more than usual today after some exceptionally good sparring with the other knights on the island, and he feels like he has enough seed stored up to take you at least three times, maybe even four.

He wears a knowing grin as he saunters through the halls of the keep, still half hard as he makes his way towards you, his toothsome little firebird. Daemon has a half a mind to take you wherever he finds you, loving the idea of a public fuck. Let one of the servants see him staking his claim on you, for it would make the act even more tantalizing. He wonders where he might take you, that self-satisfied smirk never leaving his countenance. Perhaps in the root cellar where the potatoes and wine were stored- or the pantry, or maybe even the larder? He finds himself further enticed by the idea of fucking you beside a full leg of mutton, after all, you are his piece of meat and he cherishes you for it.

There are a series of narrow hallways in the servants quarters, smaller rooms where they sleep, where you sleep when you are not keeping his bed warm. Daemon navigates them, slipping past other house staff that seem alarmed by his presence, but don’t offer any argument to it. The corridor opens up into the massive kitchen, a long rectangular room with an open stove in the center of one wall. Opposite the fire is a massive table that takes up much of the chamber, and women are busy preparing different elements of food to be served with dinner. Freshly cooked bread is laid out as well as several biscuits all arranged neatly on a silver tiered tray.

It all looks rather delicious, but no delicacy in the castle could compare to the taste of you. And Daemon is starving for you, ravenous with hunger for the sweet cunt between your legs, seemingly unable to get enough of it. He sees you standing at the table, your back towards him and your long silvery tresses glowing from the dancing flame of the fire-pit. He’d hoped to find you somewhere a little more private, but that doesn’t mean he can’t take you to another location to have his way with you.

As Daemon takes a step into the kitchen, he stops in his tracks, pausing in place as a consternated look appears across his furled brow and crinkled nose. A man, broad of chest and dark in his features comes to stand beside you, resting his hand on your shoulder and looking down at you with far too much affection and familiarity.

How dare that piece of shit touch you. You belong to him! He’d already stolen you away from your husband and in fact had the marriage annulled. He’d realized after talking with his maester, that as the lord of Dragonstone, he has the legal authority to deny any wedding among the peasants, and so he did. But, now some upstart ruffian from the kitchen was going to try and steal you away from him? How many men would he have to dispose of before he could be at peace with his claim on you?

It wouldn’t do at all. Daemon would need to make an example of him. Show everyone what happened when they touched what was his.

He strode up proudly, his back straight as his Valyrian Steel longsword, Dark Sister, as he approached the pair and cleared his throat, his hand clenching down on the man’s shoulder viciously. The scamp let out a startled yelp as you turned to see what was happening, a look of concern flashing across your eyes as you saw Daemon standing there. He saw the tremulous fear in your periwinkle eyes as you began to grasp the situation and sneered with a wild look of abandon in his eyes.

��What do you think you’re fucking doing?” Daemon roared out, squeezing even harder into the man’s meaty shoulder.

The fellow sunk under his grip, instantly relinquishing his hold on you as he attempted to turn and face his assailant.

“No, you can stay right there prick,” he said with a scathing venom in his tone.

The kitchen staff had all stopped what they were doing, gazing upon the scene with terror as though they knew blood was likely soon to be spilled.

“LEAVE US!” Daemon roared out loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls in echo as every single servant jumped in fright before rushing to leave the premises.

He reaches past you to pick up a chef’s knife from the table and spins the offender around to face him. “You see this knife, you fuckwit?” he asks with condescension. The man nods stupidly, wearing a veil of abject dread upon his face. “If I ever see you so much as look at her again, I’m going to make you a fucking eunuch. You understand?”

The man simply stared up at Daemon, disbelief rife in his slack jaw. He did not answer immediately and it angered the King-Consort even more.

“DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND!? You are not to touch her! EVER!!” he screams and wraps his giant hand around the man’s face, slamming him back against the heavy wooden table.

“Yes! Yes, m’lord!” the whelp finally replies, falling to his knees with his hands clasped up and pleading.

Disgusted, Daemon scowls and shoves him to the side, away from him and towards the exit. “Get out of you filthy mongrel!” he spits derisively. “Before I change my mind…”

The peasant chef or whatever the fuck he was, shambled to his feet, tripping and falling twice before he made it out of the room. The silence was cumbersome as Daemon eyed you, his gaze hard and vicious as he decided how he should punish you.

“Why did you do that?” you are asking, but your voice is so far away, barely noticeable against the ringing of his furious heartbeat in his ears.

“After everything I’ve done for you?” he begins tearing into you, his words savage and his voice hateful. He cups your face in one hand, stroking your cheek almost tenderly, completely juxtapose to the angry expression on his face. A squeak of surprise escapes your lips as he then runs the dull backside of the knife along the opposite side of your face. He is pleased with the fright in your features, after all, he wants you to know how grave an offense this is.

He turns you swiftly, shoving you against the surface of the table and pushing you down with a strong hand to the middle of your back. You try to get up when he tosses the knife with a clatter across the table, but he slams you back down causing the table to groan with the weight of his force. “Stay fucking down,” he hisses with frustration as he unlaces his trousers.

“But I didn’t do anything,” you whine sorrowfully, still trying to play dumb.

“Like fucking hell you didn’t, you little whore!” he spits back, pulling his stiffened cock out from his smallclothes and letting it hang freely. “You let him touch you. I fucking saw it! Saw the way he looked at you. How he wanted you.”

Daemon begins to pull your skirts up, shoving them up and over your waist until he can see your bared cunny before him. “Did you want to fuck him, girl? Did you think he’d have a bigger cock than me? Think he could fill you to the brim and make you ache like I can?”

You’re already whimpering, a soft mewl of tears in your voice as you try to make excuses. As you try to implore him to cease in being so upset. As though anything could calm him down now that he’d seen another man’s hands upon you.

“I will never let another have you, firebird.. You are fucking mine! You belong to me!” he shouted with a gruff and spiteful voice.

He pressed the head of his cock against your wet center, pressing through without warning and sinking all the way in until he thudded roughly against your womb.

“Fuck!,” he roared as you continued to whine against the hard surface of the counter. “I need to remind you, hm?” he asked, one hand coming to your hip and pulling you back roughly onto his member as he thrust into you again and again. “That you are just a little thing, a prized cunt for me to fuck whenever I wish it?”

That actually makes your breath catch with fresh indignant cries of pain. Oh you haven’t cried like this for him since the very first time he had you and he is relishing the way you keep trying to pull your tender core away from his impending wrath. It’s not like you have anywhere to escape to though, not like you can get away from his grip, pinned between him and the table, forced to take him like a good little trollop.

“This tight little hole belongs to me, girl!” he seethed, losing himself completely in your wet heat, his fury unbridled as he pounds into you relentlessly. “Say it. Tell me what you are and who you belong to. Say it now!”

He knows you won’t like that, understand all too well how proud you are, but he has to break your spirit further if he’s going to keep you under his thumb. He has to make you realize that you’re nothing without him. You stay silent besides the sound of your wailing, your dismay at how he is taking you and how low he is trying to bring you apparent.

“Say it, you little fucking slut!” he howls, raising his hand from your hip to slap you viciously on the the round fat of your arse.

You let out an alarmed yelp, followed by a wail of outrage as you finally relent. “I’m…I-I’m your cunny to fuck, Daemon!” you squeal with the sharp sting of embarrassment clear in your tone as your tight core clamps down on him in response.

“Damn fucking right you are,” he leers over you with a primal growl of arousal and conquest. “You like it don’t you? Like being my little whore?” He slaps you on the arse once more, this time hard enough to leave a crimson handprint on your flesh. Daemon can’t help but grin at the sound you make and the way you clench down tightly on his cock each time he slaps your rear. “You really do enjoy it,” he smiles smugly, loving that his filth has this affect on you. “I wonder how much coin I could fetch for you back in the brothels at King’s Landing? I bet you’d be the biggest earner on the Street of Silk… And you’d love every moment of it wouldn’t you?”

The inner lining of your center contracts violently around his length as you peak, causing him to wince in pain as he pushes past the taut muscles. “My dirty little bird,” he pants, grinning from ear to ear as you go limp against the table and he plunges deeply into you, pounding endlessly as he chases his own release.

He spills into you with the heat and thickness of molten lava, his cockhead slamming roughly against your womb as he pulls your hips onto him firmly, pulsing seed inside of you as he groans with the pleasure of subduing you completely.

“Fucking hellls!” he bellows out, falling on top of your back with nothing but his arm to keep from crushing you, holding himself up slightly from the wooden counter.

Daemon stays inside of you, not in a rush to leave the safe and welcoming heat of your cunt. As he steadies himself on his forearm, he reaches up to brush your hair aside, wiping salty tears dotingly from your cheeks as he takes in your expression.

“Are you hurt, little bird?” he asks with a hint of regret in seeing your reddened eyes and cheeks. “Was I too rough?”

You shake your head slightly, still not making eye contact with him as your body shivers beneath him. He smooths your bright locks of hair back against your scalp, still panting as he tries to recover.

Gods, he thinks you look beautiful like this, ravaged and spent, and still impaled on his cock.

“I don’t want him,” you finally say quietly, almost pouting. “He means nothing to me.”

Daemon sighs, feeling a pang of guilt at how decisively you say that, without a hint of doubt. He withdraws his length from you, leaving a slick mess of your combined fluids as he lets your skirts fall down again. He puts his now softening cock back in his brailes and turns you around to face him.

“I know,” he says pressing a kiss against your lips, before pulling back to take a look at you. “I can’t control how I feel about you, my searing firebird,” he says more softly, peppering kisses on your cheeks in between words. “It drives me mad with rage to think of another man so much as touching you.”

There was something about fucking you that always dulled his sharpest edges. It was as though every bit of pent up rage and aggression just fell away once he spent inside you. You were the only one who could sooth his ferocity like this, quell the savage beast that he always became in your absence, or even at the thought of losing you.

“I would never leave you for another, Daemon,” you say reassuringly, brushing your soft hand along the hard line of his jaw. “I don’t want anyone else but you. You must know that by now?”

“One day, I’ll learn,” he offers with a playful little smirk as he snatches your hand in his, and brushes a gentle kiss against the back of your knuckle.

“Well, isn’t that sweet?” an all too familiar voice cuts through the tender moment.

Daemon snaps his head towards the shrill sound, knowing exactly who he’ll see, his wife Rhaenyra. He looks back at you, realizing that he’s been caught and worried about what it could mean for you. He turns back to the would be queen and offers a feigned smile of surprise.

“I’m sorry, wife,” he offers complacently as he lets your hand go and smacks you on the bottom dismissively, signaling for you to leave. “Did we make too much noise?”

You scamper off obediently, retreating into the hallway and out of sight much to his relief. He doesn’t want Rhaenyra getting a good look at you, doesn’t want her getting any ideas concerning retribution against you.

“When the staff is not allowed into the kitchen to prepare supper and we are all made to wait… Well, it certainly sparks one’s curiosity as to what is causing the delay, husband,” she says, her voice cold and distant.

“Oh, that?” he throws his hands out in a disarming gesture, showing that they are empty. “That was just some fun,” he assures her, using as much disregard as possible so Rhaenyra might feel less threatened by you. “A passing dalliance, nothing more,” he offers with a wink as he lowers his hands to his sides and walks past her out towards the dining hall.

[mrabubu]

Please don't be scared of this question but... what kind of bed chem do Leo and Ana have?

COME ON ABUBU WE'RE ADULTS HERE, IT IS NOT REALLY WEIRD TO HAVE WONDERED ABOUT THIS TOPIC ONCE.

C'mon man don't block me T_T

WHEEEEEEZE

Okay, sorry, I thought about that I wanted to finish a little animatic at first, but I realized it's taking too long, and found this sketch.

Also, I mean, yeah? About how people probably thought about this. DON'T LIE THAT YOU DIDN'T /or maybe you indeed never thought about this, then okay/ And, yeah, both Ana and Leo are adults in this au (Ana is 24-25, Leo is 26-27)

Just in case, I'll hid the text, so if you people want to read it, go on. Otherwise you can just skip it. There won't be much of like details details, obviously, but still. If this topic is sensitive to you, please, just skip it.

I won't go into details, but if trying to describe in short, it's both intense and caring. It took some time for Ana to learn how to control herself, because at first her new instincts been taking over to the point she could hurt Leo, and it's not only about the bed, but overall. At the same time, after Ana would learn to control herself, these moments could be their chances to kind of let go a bit, a let out their pent up feelings and emotions without worrying about hurting each other (only furniture), because both being not fully humans meaning they both can handle much more that average people.

It was also kind of meaningful for Ana as well because she was worried a lot about her appearance, being half-Kraang now and all, kind of a monster. I had this idea of the scene where Leo could say "well, we're both kinda monsters, in a way".

And yeah, they're both extremely caring towards each other afterwards.

[reds-skull]

Fic recs - oneshots (part 4)

I'm currently in like, a lot of pain (...don't ask), so what better way to distract myself than cataloging some fics!

Last time I said I'll do a list of writers, but I noticed that so much time has passed that I've collected enough oneshots for another post like this, so I'm doing this first.

A couple of ones here are from shadowforest-wolf's lists, go check these posts out if you want more recs!

As always, sfw oneshots, if there are any dead links you need fixing let me know!

Sea of Love by MiddlemistsRed (chiakashie) - Soap keeps dying in Al Mazrah and Ghost reincarnates each time to save him.

Offhand Remarks by bisexual_werewolf - Ghost doesn’t think Soap is a good enough soldier. Soap tries his best to fix that. (Spoilers: It doesn’t work)

You'd Be the Mercy Under My Cruelty by ajax_in_agony - Ghost takes care of Soap in the aftermath of "Alone".

TV. by Kodalax - Ghost thinks Soaps mad at him so he distances himself as much as possible and clams up like he’s a child again. [this is a series with a second work from Soap's POV]

where the nightmares end by oh_ellie - Soap is sitting up in his bed, the sheets shoved off of his body and sweat beading on his forehead and running down his temple. It's dark in his room and far too quiet.

taken a shine to me? by oh_ellie - Soap is captured by Graves during alone [this has a second work which is nsfw]

Eleven by VibeDemon - Ghoap get stuck in an elevator. [this is just a little funny one :)]

He's The Gift That Just Keeps Giving! by StrixDaddy - some hurt/comfort featuring Christmas fluff.

Hold On To Me by iamtheidiot - That's when he saw it. A goddamn fucking knife sticking out of the man's right side, his arm at an angle like he was trying to conceal the thing from Soap.

Ghostly Music by oh_heccity - A 5+1 where Soap helps Ghost learn to have a healthy relationship with music, it, of course, has its ups and downs.

My heart in your hands keeps going on by FetteEule - 5 times Ghost is forced to go on leave and 1 time he takes leave on purpose.

Bleeding Sands by Islenthatur - What if Soap was one of the 15 who survived Operation Sand Viper [COD Ghosts Soap]

notre dame by merikai - Soap is stuck under rubble, but it takes a while until someone comes to the rescue.

heaven help the fool who falls in love by merikai - Soap has a "girl". Ghost tries to find out more.

leave it to the land by merikai - “Hypothermic,” Ghost mutters, more to himself as a note than to Soap. “You're delirious. Need to get you warmed up.”

no shortage of sordid by merikai - Hassan's men have taken Soap hostage—but there are things worse than this.

Dehiscence (Opening of a Wound) by made1for1life1 - Johnny knows his mind doesn't work the same as other people's. Maybe he just needs to try harder. Trying harder is a lot harder than he thought.

A quick game of chess by cheersyaslag - when Ghost tells him to shut up, he doesn't exactly know why it hurts so damn much. Maybe he's being too sensitive. But he does shut up. He will do as he's told for once.

Observations and Ink by Fearless_leaderr - He shifts nervously as the other man flips through the pages, and Soap can feel sweat begin to collect on his brow. "Didn't know you could draw like this, Johnny."

Still got like 3 days until I finish the semester, but I already got so many ideas for comics and drawings and fics it's not even funny. I'm gonna have so much fun once I'm finally done with my work T_T

[adventuringblind]

Flowers in your throat

Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Genre: Angst

Summary: the problems of unrequited love

Warnings: hanahaki disease, blood, coughing

Notes: idk what this is... Does anybody wanna spam my inbox with things to write over break? Logan is on the list, but I'm blanking on ideas for the boy T_T

Masterlist

Flowers. Beautiful things that each have their own meanings. One that even color plays into.

Beautiful amd deadly things, these Flowers. She can't even stomache the sight of them anymore. Not when they are the source of her current misery.

A misery she has yet to understand. Is one not enough for her? Will Lando hate her for loving more then just him? Is she really that greedy?

Her driving had suffered because of her lack of focus. She's coughing over the radio now and her engineer has started to notice. Her trainer even more so with how sick she looks.

She doesn't want Lando to find her like this. Maybe she doesn't even like Oscar and this is because of the loving looks and gentle touch he's been sharing with her boyfriend. Is she jealous? In a way yes, but she wants that from both of them. She coughs up another petal at the thought.

Hopefully Lando isn't awake. She'd been on the floor of the Hilton bathroom for at least an hour now. Her mind running through all her options. How she might be able to fix this.

Death is the easiest option in the long run. The surgery would hurt Lando as she would struggle with any kind of love afterwards. Oscar loving her back is another, but again, how would Lando react?

She'd yet to even open up to him about the idea of polyamoury. To scared from past encounters and getting hurt. Easier just to ignore anything else. The words of her last partner rings through her ears. 'It's either one or the other' but never both. How can she have such a love for two people to the point it's killing her?

The door creaks open. She panics and tries to hide from Lando's worried gaze. He still ends up on the floor with her.

"Please talk to me."

"I can't. You're going to leave me."

"Whatever this is, we'll figure it out, okay? But we can't even begin to work on it if I have no idea what's going on." And he's right. For as chaotic as he is, Lando has always wanted to work through things together.

"I'm not - well - before I start I should say I love you dearly with every fiber of my being."

"Is this a break up?"

"No!" She shouts a little to loudly and quickly. Lando looks a bit startled but calms we he sees just how panicked she is. "I don't want us to break up - I just know that you won't want me anymore."

The thoughts of Lando leaving her flood her mind. Having to watch him and Oscar be teammates while she watches from afar. Her body wracks with coughs again as another petal comes up, pretty but splatters in red.

"Is that-?"

"Hanahaki, unrequited love."

"But I do love you so then..." He takes a moments to process. "It's not me is it?"

"My parents always told me my heart was to big." She inhales shakily. "It's Oscar."

"Since when? How long do we have before-" He doesn't finish the sentence.

"A have a few months left maximum. I'm already two months in."

"Silverstone."

"I'd already been fond of him before that but watching the two of you smile together like that." Tears slip past her eyes as she tries to stop the burning in her chest. "I'm so sorry and I understand if you leave. It's not like you signed up for this."

"I'm not leaving you. I don't care who else you love as long as I'm here with you. Plus, it's Oscar, I'd be lying if I said I don't have any feelings for him." Lando Admits with a shrug.

"Really?"

"I know you love me, too much, probably. If this is what loving you means then I'll be here every damn step."

She throws herself into Lando's arms, curling into the warmth of his body. And for the first time on two months, she cries in relief.

~~~~~

On the other side of things, Oscar isn't fairing any better. The constant scratch of his throat has started in August. Over the summer break when he had to bare witness to Lando and his girlfriends pictures.

He couldn't tell who he was more jealous of, or if he was jealous at all. Both, he was jealous of both because he wants to be with both of them. It's illogical, he thinks, that he should want two partners so desperately. They are committed to each other, why would they want him as well?

Lando is once again on the podium his female counterpart part there to congratulate him. Eyes shining as they smile at each other. The itch in his throat is to much. It burns in his chest as his lungs try to fight for air.

He runs back to the garage after getting weighed. Just in time to collapse onto the floor of his driver's room. Petals fall from his lips. Beautiful and soaking in red fluid.

He's still struggling to breathe when his door flys open. Logan amd Liam swim in his vision and ears. They drag him off the floor and get him upright again.

They clean him op and sit with him until Kim comes to get him for debrief. The older male looks horribly concerned. Lando also looks at him with something he can't pinpoint while sitting through the meeting. It's enough to make his chest burn again just knowing Lando is even looking at him.

Logan and Liam come knocking at his door that night. They want answers and rightfully so. He tells them, coughing on the bathroom floor while doing so.

"Have you talked to them?"

"No, why would they want me Lo?"

Liam hands him more water and pratically forces him to drink it. "Have you seen the way they look at you?"

And no, he hasn't, only how people say he himself looks helplessly in love.

How would they look at him now? In disgust? Maybe pity?

Shame he may never find out.

~~~~~

Another hard race. Las Vegas had messed them all up in some way shape or form. She couldn't breathe knowing Lando had crashed to hard. She coughed an entire petal up during the yellow flags just thinking about how he must be feeling.

She's been coughing up whole flowers recently. Tonight was no exception. Lando, despite being on heavy painkillers, was desperately trying to help her through a few larger ones.

She was barely eating anymore. Couldn't breathe. Her teammate had even noticed the drastic change in her appearance. Max and Christian had both been on her case. Third seemed so far away now as Lando tries to get water down her throat.

"I don't want you to die."

"And I don't want to live without love."

Lando manages to pull himself off the floor to answer the door. Mumbling about how it's probably Jon making sure he's alright.

She can hear the familiar voices of Oscar and Logan through the thin walls.

Oscar sounds rough. She blames it on the long race he had. He'd looked so tired coming out of the car, hands running through his hair.

Her lungs burn again. It's more so this time. Her entire body is on fire. She can't even cough properly and wails as she has to pull out whatever is in her throat.

A stem. One with thorns.

Lando is frantically pleading with Oscar and Logan for something. Oscar is also coughing. Enough that is worsens her own.

She coughs again. Another stem feels like it's tearing her open from the inside. She wails at the stinging pain. Panic overcomes her as it seems to never end.

The door swings open. Lando and Logan drag in a coughing Oscar.

He's in the same boat as her. He's been suffering this whole time.

"Logan who is it?! Please, I need to know." Lando is begging now. The sight of what's happening can't be helping his nerves.

"It's you two, both of you I think. He didn't say exactly."

She tunes out anything else. It's them. He is feeling this because of them. She coughs up the rest of the stem and the burning starts to fade.

But then the exhaustion hits. She wants to tell Oscar everything. Enough so he doesn't have to cough up thorns like herself.

She passes out before she can.

~~~~~

Oscar wakes up in bed. One that definitely isn't his own. He tries to sit up, but his body is depleted still. Noticeably, his lungs feel lighter then they have in months. The ache in his chest has lessened, but his love for the two is still there. If this isn't the work of a surgery then-

He sits up frantically, searching for something. Someone, more like. A hand on his shoulder pushes him back down.

"Relax, we're still here." It's Lando and his partner is on the other side of Oscar. She's dead asleep and rightfully so after what he witnessed her cough up.

"Where's Logan?"

"Asleep on the couch. He didn't want to leave you."

"And you - do you and her - are we?" His words are broken. He can't think properly.

"Caught feeling a while ago, mate. Her before I realized myself. She loves hard, enough to cough up flowers, apparently." Lando crawls into the space between Oscar and the female. Oscar, in his sleepy haze, latches onto Lando. He feels better being apart of whatever cuddle pile this is.

He falls back to sleep so easily. Only to be woken up later by a few frantic coughs. Lando is immediately trying to get the female out of bed and to the sink. She claims she's fine and it's confirmed by the lack of petals.

"It's from what the thorns did." Her voice sounds wrecked. Oscar tries to get up to help only to be pushed back again by Logan. Curse his exhaustion.

The American gets everyone water. Oscar is grateful for it as it soothes his still sore throat.

"So does this mean you three are going to be together then?" Logan raises an eyebrow.

"If either of them say no after this, I'm throwing hands. After the hell they've put me through I will force them to cuddle if need be."

[merakiui]

Oh, Oh! I got an idea for that Demon Jade and Angel Floyd AU!!! (more like a ramble I wanna share sgsha)

So like, what if a long looooongggg time ago Jade was also an angel, and being the twin of Floyd, they were both the most cute little satanic blessings heaven has to offer.

Till one day Jade did something and he got kicked out of heaven, and Floyd being betrayed cause how dare his brother leave him tore a pretty big gap in their relationship.

So now for the present day where they both of them had decided they wanted to invade your peaceful life, you are busy with doing some work/homework.

And these two are just busy waging a war behind you, but you are used to the shenanigans so you just ignore them.

Till they get worse, and you had to kick them out.

And it's raining.

And the both of them are now sitting at your front door like sopping wet cats, begging to be let in. (Floyd can so totally teleport to be by your side cause he your guardian angel but he doesn't want to cause Jade can't and he doesn't like the thought of you pitying Jade amd giving him extra attention cause he is cold and wet, when HE IS SUPPOSED TO GET THAT ATTENTION HE IS YOUR ANGEL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD‐)

Anyways they still both end up fighting in the rain sgshsg

Omg the idea of Floyd enduring the cold rain just so that you won't feel sympathy for Jade and let him inside... T_T he's so petty. But then Floyd can't catch any colds or illnesses because he's an angel, so it doesn't really bother him. It's still not a pleasant experience sitting out there on the stoop and being soaked through, but it's better than having to watch you coddle Jade. >:( the argument definitely turns physical and it isn't long before Jade's trying to tear handfuls of Floyd's feathers out of his wings while Floyd's grabbing at Jade's horns to try to snap them off. ;;; they're mean!!!!

You end up throwing the door open to scold the both of them and they listen surprisingly well (even though they're both a bit miffed that they couldn't properly finish their fight). If either of them wants to come back inside where it's warm and cozy, they'll have to genuinely apologize to the other. It's like pulling teeth when they're both so stubborn, simmering in their still-brewing frustrations, but they manage their apologies if only to appease you. Floyd's injuries don't mean much when he can just heal and he does so without thinking. Jade can do the same, but he wants to be fawned over. You end up sitting Jade down so you can patch him up, scolding him all the while: "You ought to be nice to your brother. He's just doing his job; don't make it harder for him."

Floyd's distraught. :( why didn't he think of that!!!! He could have been patched up by his Shrimpy and yet all of your love and care is going to Jade. It's not fair at all! It should have been him!!!!!

But after you tend to Jade you turn to Floyd and check him over to make sure he's okay, so perhaps it's not entirely bad luck. <3 Floyd places his hands over yours to keep them there for a little longer, and he envelops you in his wings to keep you close. Let him be a little selfish with your affections. He deserves it!

[timeregistry]

omg dude i love ur sebastian!!!

and if u want, i’ll tag u when i post my painter design

i’d also like to hear more of ur ramblings about pressure or anything of the sort :3

have a good day!!!

TYSM!!! I'm glad people like him 🥹He's been my everything since I got into Pressure, let's just say that the AU of my fic had lived in my brain since forever before I started writing LOL

OH and also I would ADORE to see your Painter design PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I LOVE PAINTER SM I LOVE ALL PAINTER DESIGNS

ALSO sorry for answering this so late I got injured (again...) and it was hard to write but also I’m INSANE like IM CRAZY you literally put on a silver platter that I can talk about ANYTHING like DUDE. IM CRAZY. I jump around fandoms a lot so to say that I have a lot on my mind apart from work is an understatement (let's just say earlier I went crazy about regretevator...... it's bad)

SO to organize my thoughts, I've been really wanting to actually talk about like... some thought process stuff of my fic (A Human's Touch) and things that happen before the fic... since SO MUCH happened but I don't mention it because we are put at a specific moment in the story... VERY VERY Sebastian and reader focused so TW: Sebastian Solace 😔

Under cut because its LONG. LIKE. REALLY LONG. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT LMAOOOO

SO pressure's lore is a MESS don't get me started on how I feel about the current lore so I decided that since no one really saw the timeline or pretends it doesn't exist as they should, I feel it's a bit unlikely Sebastian would be able to convince Painter to start killing people after meeting it TWENTY MINUTES PRIOR T_T (and hacking all of Urbanshade network in that time?!) so that's why I actually made (in chapter 7 that is not on tumblr rn LOL) them meet. I mentioned in a comment on AO3 since someone had asked smth about Sebastian and just to give an idea, the start of A Human's Touch happens a couple of months before the events of Pressure. SO at that point, Sebastian and Painter have known each other for months. I would LOVE to go into detail how I see their relationship is when the lockdown happens + what happens with reader but I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING T_T so maybe when I finish the fic I'll go into detail as I'm not actually really planning on writing the actual like.... events of pressure w/ reader instead I guess, idk how to put it, just to let you in a little secret, Painter does know part of Sebastian's plan when the lockdown happens in this universe.

So enough about Pressure lore and what I changed from that, I wanted to talk a bit about before the events of the fic... I didn't write it since I felt it would be very Sebastian and reader centric and since it was most likely going to be in a platonic sense I wasn't sure if people would be interested! To admit something since I don't imagine many people will read this but originally I had written a fic that was with Sebastian (it was more romance with him tho as I was down HORRENDOUS I wrote so much Sebastian y’all have no idea I got jumpscared trying to find some of my old things to reference and seeing the sheer amount of Sebastian) which was actually where the original summary of A Human's Touch came from HELPPPP LIKE ORIGINALLY IT WAS A PARAGRAPH OF MY FIC I JUST EDITED IT T_T I never post what I write I'm surprised that I even posted A Human's Touch but I digress. Anyways I had originally considered writing a platonic version of that fic (not like that one was finished) but in the end I never did since again, I didn't think anyone would read it--

Either way, here is a TLDR of how reader and Sebastian met. Basically reader came in as an intern to Urbanshade right? How I imagined it was that they actually had seen Sebastian when he was still in his big ol heavy containment aquarium. While I think he still needs to go there when Urbanshade wants to contain him, I imagine reader met him when he was MOSTLY in there... While he could leave as his status as an MR-P made it so that now he could leave and free-roam, I imagined that he never really saw a reason to do so... I think atp Urbanshade hadn't really found a good reason for him either, as he was soo unpredictable because of how aggressive he was with them. SO they just leave him in his cell basically, its good to see if there were any longer terms effects of his… condition. He would normally just look into the window and look at any of the scientists.

Now how I imagined his heavy containment cell was that like, an aquarium. Like there is this big window where you can see him but I imagine that he had this like area at the surface of his cell that there is like a walking area but it was specifically because not only is he an MR-P so its like a little better than his old cell but also because he was exactly for an experiment that was to make humans be able to breathe over and underwater so I like to think they want him to take in oxygen naturally anyways–

MS Paint jumpscare but something like this

ANYWAYS I imagine reader had seen him from the window that you can peak in from just him swimming around and being completely fascinated by him. Stuff happens, and they decide to try to see him without their superiors knowing so... I decided I would pull directly from one of my old fics:

You first met Sebastian fully at night, when most scientists were already resting in their own quarters. You were already shown where you would stay, yet you couldn’t get the image of Sebastian out of your mind. You wanted to meet him directly. He was the first of the subjects that you met, against all safety protocols and you remember he himself mentioning it. He was rude and in all ways, a certified asshole, immediately tricking you by making you walk a bit too close and effectively making you fall in his tank. He didn’t keep you there however, you knew he didn’t like your presence but you couldn’t resist wanting to learn more about him.

How I imagine reader's and Sebastian's relationship was just, a really rocky start because we have reader who wanted to know more about him and then we have Sebastian who didn't want to know anything about reader because they are just another scientist. He never left his containment either because I imagine that the other prisoners would give him funny looks and dislike his presence because of how he was. I think... he was very bitter. It took a lot for him to warm up as he did… Especially with someone who was one of the scientists! 

“You really don’t know do you?” Sebastian snarled slightly, his casual facade crumbling briefly as his expression went more of pity. “Of course you don’t, you keep coming in here as if I can’t kill you right here and now.” You frowned at him. “I’m here to learn-” “You are trapped. They have you right where they want you. The moment that you have served your purpose they will kill you.” He put a claw near you, his other hand flaunting his sharp nails. You took a step back, sensing danger unconsciously. He noticed, his trained eyes on you like a predator. “Word of advice, start making yourself useful and leave me alone.”

I always saw that reader was treading on treacherous waters... always seeing Sebastian secretly at night and after talking with him, he would eventually warm up because whether he liked it or not, I think he was lonely. Because he would live without speaking with anyone and talking to someone who's a lot more genuine... I don't think the reader is like the other scientists at all, I don't think that it would even be known what Urbanshade was doing! I think Urbanshade just flaunts a lot and doesn't hide anything, but makes any new interns or hires go through the longest paperwork part of their work EVER to see if they are dedicated before kinda forcing the unethical experiments... basically like roping in with mundanity and beauty, the curiousity on how these beautiful sea creatures are made only to find out that it was all done with torture--

SO my point is that reader didn't know what happened to Sebastian, nor knew why he was so standoffish, they were forced to do ONLY paperwork and their free time went into seeing the subject that they can see very very easily. It was like... just the curiousity of what Sebastian was, what he was capable of, etc etc. I don't think reader even knew that he was... human. And he doesn't mention it either... I think he only mentions it soooo much later... As for Sebastian’s side of things, I imagine he decided to entertain the reader only because atp he’s thinking he can probably use their naivety for his escape!

ANYWAYS to skip ahead because I have JUST SEEN THE SHEER LENGTH OF THIS IM SOOOO SORRY I LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY CREATIONS IDK lore dump moment

So at one point, Urbanshade notices that reader is interacting with Sebastian, however, instead of like, stopping them, I imagine that Urbanshade instead saw an opportunity. Sebastian doesn’t talk to ANYONE so suddenly finding out that he’s talking to someone??? 

It was only much later that he actually warmed up to your presence, choosing to follow you around when you were stuck doing your boring paperwork. You were starting to regret applying here as they wanted to wait a really long time until you could actually do any hands-on work. However, Sebastian’s presence made the situation a lot more bearable, as he would sometimes read over your shoulder and mention things that you would outright forget to write down. Because of his seeming attachment to you, your higher-ups completely changed your temporary job of reading and copying down paperwork into instead… still do the same thing but also look over Sebastian’s behaviour. They would say how you were the only person that he got along with, which meant it was the opportune moment to find out more about him and fill his file even more as it was severely lacking apparently. And so started your Behavioural Scientist job with no hiccups whatsoever. Especially not after begging Urbanshade not to let you go after the internship ended, convincing them that you were the only person who managed to get even remotely close to Sebastian’s good graces. No issues at all... 

OH and at some point reader is given their own office and it’s because they had a normal desk like other people before but because Sebastian is.. big… he would push the desks all the time and he would apologize to the scientists but you can tell he wasn’t being genuine as the malice was obvious on him SCREAMING but after having TOO MANY complaints about Sebastian following reader around and reader insisting that they need him to follow because it’s their job, Urbanshade just gave them a temporal office (that became their permanent office for years to come)--

I think it’s there where Sebastian starts seeing reader as a “friend”, they never hurt him and quickly realise that reader was genuinely not evil like the scientists that experimented on him. While Urbanshade made reader the behavioural scientist, they started working with other subjects as well (as you guys know) and Sebastian started seeing reader in a much more positive light. 

Reader goes on vacation sometimes, brings a lot of trinkets and pictures of the outside world to Sebastian. I think he tries to keep a strong face when he gets some of those things, he misses the outside world. I like to think reader asked him once what was his favorite snack and he would mention something from Chile and reader would get it for him and that’s probably the first time that he does cry in front of them because of the whole emotion of having something that’s basically a comfort food after so long. It was like a taste of freedom. Something to look forward to and not give up to Urbanshade. And seeing as how reader didn’t look disappointed or in any negative emotion I think that’s when Sebastian just completely changed his perspective. The idea where now in his grand plan of escaping the Blacksite that he had been making the moment that Urbanshade stopped doing the extreme experiments and let him walk (slitter?) freely now would include reader. 

While he knows reader is there for the other subjects too, he also knows that they are mostly there for him counting as I imagine there is a lot of subjects that reader can’t understand (like the angler… or pandemonium…) and while Sebastian knows a lot of them thanks to working with reader so closely (him reading all these classified documents) that he weights if he would escape the Blacksite he would want to take reader with him. I think at first when they met he was like they might die but its a sacrifice for his escape (they are but another scientist), but now he’s like if they die I die (“I have failed.”).

BASICALLY I imagine their friendship that is very slowburn but in the end they become extremely loyal to each other, reader doesn’t know that they are part of his plan now. I mention it in A Human’s Touch but Sebastian has this hidden room where he keeps all these things and he probably has written (in a coded language) a whole plan of his escape + what he would do once he gets out of the Blacksite. At first it only included him but the longer he spent with reader the more he kept in mine their safety as they are the only friend he’s had for years and they are ATTACHED. 

Oh and a final note, Sebastian’s bracelets were given by reader, but i wanted to talk briefly on the obsidian one because I went with spirituality and symbolism as to why I took that material… obsidian bracelets mean protection, grounding and emotional healing… a lot of mental clearance and transforms negative energy to positive ones. I like to think that reader got it for him after learning more about him, because just as he wants them to be safe, they want him to be safe too. Their biggest fear is that Urbanshade would want to experiment harder again with him again and/or kill him. Sebastian shares the same fear.

OK I think I am... done... I'm so sorry AGAIN if something doesn't make sense... feel free to send an ask.... That goes for anyone ofc but yes... I'm crazy but if you got this far here's a quick doodle I did for your troubles dear reader

[journalsouppe]

Casltevania (NES)!! Omg i loved this game so much, but that shouldn't be surprising since The Adventure of Link is my fourth favorite TLOZ game ahdjfskl

I wanted to test the waters with the series early but plan to actually start my playthrough once I finish my Zelda journal which will be sometime this year. I also want to try a new journaling style with using fountain pen art but I'm still experimenting with pens and the style itself so don't expect spreads to look like this in the future lmao

The journal is from Copticore on Etsy!! I also made a post reviewing the journal (it's one of my favorites that I own ^-^)

Writing typed below!

Rating: 8.5 Played: Fa 2023 Port: Steam, Anniversary Edition Language: English

Comments:

LOVE the music

hehe pot roast

really enjoying the gameplay

i have no idea why the chest spawned in stage 5

evil that I cannot set an item to a button and have to press up plus whip

it's always the damn flying enemies T^T

trying to understand the family tree/timeline

these environments fuck!!! T^T <3

I really like both of simon's designs

love the stained glass with medusa

i like how simon and the early belmonts have an iconic walk

(switched to energel due to dip ink bleed)

the pride of frankenstein sounds so cool

the grim reaper hallway is so long T_T_T

NOT THE MEDUSA HEADS T-T-T-T

DAMN THE HOLY WATER DESTROYED IGOR AND FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER

i forgot hearts are tied to items T_T

death is so hard T_T

really loved the video that went over the history of this game's speed runs

THE COGS ROOM IS SO COOL

oooo i like how similar the thunderbird and dracula boss fights are

omfg dracula's head in the floor

DRACULA'S DEMON FORM IS CRAZY LOOKING

i can't express enough how much i love the ost - I bought i vinyl of it ^^;

CHRISTOPHER BEE, BELO LUGOSI, BORIS KARLOFFICE, LOVE CHANEY JR... SCREAMING T^T <3<3

absolutely love this game so much

Summary:

To start: I am still figuring out a journaling style so all my early spreads will be a little rough. That being said, I love this game so soosossososo much. This is everything my little universal horror heart could ever want. I knew I'd enjoy the gameplay since I really loved the gameplay of TAOL but the monsters and level design and music just made me have even more fun than i was expecting. The game is very straight forward and nowhere near as cryptic as TAOL, both are very charming but at least you can play castlevania without a guide. The environment designs are unbelievably gorgeous. I would love to draw them someday. I really liked not only Simon but his mechanics. He has a slow, burly gait and wields a whip-- very different from Joust moving link with his sword (joust the game). It ensures you aim your whip properly as enemies have to maintain contact with the end of the whip. The boss fights were also diverse design and attack wise, it was nice trying to figure out new strategies. I loved so much about this game, I just gave it an 8.5 since there's no major story. However, I love that this game was a catalyst for the whole series plus anime adaptations. I am sooo excited to play more of the series, esp Super Castlevania IV!

[darkfeanix]

FIC WRITING REVIEW 2024

Not tagged, but rather stolen shamelessly from the meme lord of my dash (you know who you are) who posted theirs and said anyone who wanted to share with the class could do so.

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some qualitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either. Artists and gif makers, please also join in with any quantitative or qualitative stats or facts you want to share about your year.

Words and Fics

4 fics published (time between most two most recent: approx. 7 1/2 months)

7,022 words

Top 3 Pairings

Shadowheart/Male Gnome Tav

Um... N/A

None

Top 5 4 3 by Comments

Perspectives (6 threads, 12 total)

The Life and the Death of the Wild at Heart (3 threads, 5 total)

Feel the Sun Breaking Through AND Never Gonna Give You Up (both 2 threads, 3 total)

Top 5 4 by Kudos

Feel the Sun Breaking Through (10)

Never Gonna Give You Up (9)

The Life and the Death of the Wild at Heart (5)

Perspectives (3)

Top 5 4 by Hits

Feel the Sun Breaking Through (249)

Never Gonna Give You Up (203)

The Life and the Death of the Wild at Heart (32)

Perspectives (29)

Fandom Events in 2024

Feast of Lights Not-So-Secret Santa (and I promise it will be finished just as soon as I've finished this university thing)

Writing Reflection

So, when I was writing those Shadowheart/Erino stories, I had a lot of big ideas, but sadly a lot of those big ideas never went anywhere (as so many of my big ideas are wont to do). And then there was a lot of upheaval in my personal life, around the time of that last BG3 fic, and in addition to take a leave of absence from university, I basically took a leave of absence from finishing stories. I have so many WIPs that I started in that period, many of which will probably never see the light of day. I crossed many fandom lines.

The long-awaited announcement of the imminent release of Dragon Age: The Veilguard trailer reinvigorated my love for that franchise, and with it a small creative spark was ignited. I wrote Perspectives with, again, big ideas of what would come after the game was released. I enjoyed the game, and there were moments of inspiration, but I never really wrote anything for that first character (Hissera, my beloved daughter, I am sorry T_T), and I haven't been able to commit to a second playthrough either.

This next year is going to challenge me on the time management front as my PhD once again becomes one of my main priorities, but I still really want to write fic, and I don't want another 7 1/2 months between posting. Small ideas feel like a good approach. Maybe even unconnected stories for a change; just some one shots without any expectations placed upon them.

Completely unrelated to writing, but still creative, I'd also like to have a go at learning to crochet this year. My mum crocheted as a hobby, and all of her crocheting stuff is still there. It'd be another way of keeping her memory close.

[sinisterexaggerator]

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

G: I write them from start to finish! I have ideas for scenes, but I keep them either in my head, or as a note in a word doc for later. I don't like doing things out of order. Ha!

L: I usually write a bunch, then edit as I go. Once I finish the whole chapter, I'll go back and reread the whole thing and edit as I go again. So, maybe once or twice once they are completed, but also intermittently as I write.

M: Here is one.

Here is another.

And another.

Annnnd another.

Oh, and another!

Guess what...

I have so many!!

Too many!!

Let's throw an AU in there!

One more!

N: Sometimes, I think I got in over my head with this series, "Tales of (Rebel) Scum and Villainy, but I still want to write it. Sometimes, I wish someone else would finish my GTA fic, but not *really.* I just have so much more to go and lost the hyperfix when Star Wars took over. T_T

[talanashta]

✏️ WIP Word Game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

I was tagged by the every sweet and amazing @little-annie a couple weeks ago and forgot (T_T) so I'm getting to it now for WIP Wednesday. My word was LICK. (This was a hard one! I had to start 2 snippets mid-sentence!)

L

Lucas shook his head in the background, and Max looked offended.

“El and I want to watch the Breakfast Club, dipwad. You’re the only one who wants to watch Labyrinth,” Max told him. (From my Sept Stobin Extravaganza Day 8 Fill - Movie Night, that I still haven't managed to finish.)

I

I’ve had a crush on you for a really long time, but I’m not brave like you. I wish I was; I’m such bullshit. I’m too scared to tell you in person, so I’ll just have to be content with this letter to tell you how I feel. I couldn’t keep it in anymore after I saw you today. (From my fic for the Byler Big Bang, coming out in November!)

C

... Corroded Coffin was performing their regular show. It took three cars to get everyone there, but they managed. The kids were noisy as hell on the way there, but luckily Steve missed most of it, since he only had to drive Dustin and Robin. Jonathan had taken Argyle, Eden, Will, and El in his car, and Nancy crammed the rest in hers. He could tell by the worn out face Nancy was wearing when she arrived, though, that the rest of the Party had been just as wound up as Dustin was. (From Chapter 2 of Show Night)

K

... kind of scared you wouldn’t; I thought you might find it weird and creepy for me to be writing you and saying all this stuff when you have no idea who I am. I know girls find it romantic, or whatever, but guys don’t really talk about this kind of thing, so I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I’m glad I didn’t scare you off. (Also from my Byler Big Bang fic!)

I tag @dame-zoom-a-lot! No pressure, but if you want to, your word is THEN.

[putschki1969]

“Sono Saki e” Random Thoughts (Review?)

Please be sure to ❗SUPPORT Wakana❗ in any way you can! Especially if you decided not to order any physical copies. You can purchase and stream Wakana’s 3rd original studio album “Sono Saki e” on various sites (mora, iTunes etc) and streaming platforms (Spotify, YouTube, Apple Music, etc). • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— • BUY the album on mora (TUTORIAL here) BUY it in your local iTunes store • ————— ¤ ♫ ¤ ————— •  

Phew, this post is long-overdue. I’ve actually had this “review” sitting around in my drafts since May 30 but I wanted to wait till my physical copies arrived (unfortunately, my package took forever T_T). We have had multiple opportunities to listen to the tracks (or at least snippets of them) and of course I also listened to the digital album as soon as it became available. I’ll be honest with you, my initial reaction to the snippets and later the full tracks was rather lukewarm but in the past couple of weeks, most of the album has grown on me. So far my TOP 5 in order of their track listing are “Rapa Nui”, “標 (Shirushi)”, “希望(Kibou)”,“明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau)” and “Flag”.  Here are some random thoughts on the album as a whole and the individual songs ┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)→

Vocals: I’m not gonna write an analysis on Wakana’s vocals since I obviously lack the technical knowledge for that sort of stuff but I would still like to vent a little. In recent times, Wakana has talked a lot about how she is constantly refining her skills, working with a vocal coach and discovering new ways to use her voice, however, I fail to hear any real results of those efforts. I have to wonder if her vocal coach (or Takebe in his role as producer) are even giving any sort of effective advice because it certainly doesn’t seem like they do. The Japanese mindset probably keeps them from providing proper constructive criticism. This has always been an issue in the Japanese music industry but I am noticing it more now that Wakana, Keiko and Hikaru can no longer compensate for each other’s weaknesses. I don’t mean to bash or anything, you know I would never do that. I can still appreciate their solo vocals and for the most part I definitely enjoy Wakana’s vocals in this album but sometimes I get frustrated when it’s clear that the girls are not reaching their full potential or are using styles that are absolutely unflattering. I mean, who is telling Wakana (and Keiko for that matter) it’s a good idea to over-affect her voice or to sing in a register that is simply too high? Pretty sure this stuff is up to her so I guess it is a conscious choice and no one is guiding her in a better direction. I know for a fact that Wakana is capable of using a fuller, steadier voice but for some reason she often falls back on singing styles that don’t do anything for her and make her sound quite generic or borderline amateurish. It’s a shame...Rant over.

Visuals: The botanical and watery backgrounds/colours fit Wakana’s image perfectly. I wouldn’t say it’s a good match for the theme of the album but I don’t really mind. These are probably not my favourite looks for her but there are still some super lovely shots included in the photobook and lyric booklets. I originally thought all those light spots were a filter but they really used strings of light for the shoot. Not sure yet if I am a fan of the finished look.Something about it doesn’t really work for me.

Bonus material: No idea why they decided to add a DVD instead of a Blu-ray but I am just grateful we got footage from the Christmas live. It’s a solid concert with many good performances so I am happy there’s official footage. Too bad they cut the Christmas songs though, I remember enjoying them a lot. The audio tracks are a nice addition but I think instrumental versions of the album tracks would have been a nicer bonus. The exclusive fan club track is nothing to write home about, wish they had included footage from the after-talk instead or maybe the Christmas tracks.

Editions: As always, I appreciate that we get different booklets for every single edition. Makes it so much more fun and worthwhile to collect different editions. Overall I would day that all versions were reasonably priced for the content we got. And I am glad they once again decided to go for an LP-sized package with a big photobook. They look so good on my Kalafina showcase/shrine. Small nitpick: The quality of the large photobook isn’t what it used to be, it’s much thinner paper now T_T Makes it easier to scan though so I guess it’s not that bad.

Promotion: As far as the promotional campaign is concerned, I would say it’s sufficiently wide-spread on the media front but it feels a little lackluster in terms of in-store presence. Many Japanese fans have complained that the store promo for Wakana’s “Sono Saki e” wasn’t up to par with all the displays that were prepared for Keiko’s “Cutlery”. Thankfully we got the release events which added a bit of hype. Altogether, her performance in the Oricon Charts wasn’t too shabby either (#28) so the marketing team must have done something right. On a side note, I still very much appreciate the relatively high production value of Wakana’s solo works (especially compared to Hikaru’s and Keiko’s stuff). It’s clear that a lot of money is still invested in Wakana so YAY for that.

Overall thoughts: "Sono Saki e” has been a long time in the making so despite my best efforts, certain expectations have been building up. I know of course that getting my hopes up too high is a stupid thing to do because it will inevitably set me up for disappointment but I am only human and after three years of waiting, I was in a serious Wakana drought. However, now that the album is finally here, I feel a surprising sense of indifference (?) towards it. My reaction to Keiko’s latest album should have been indication enough but I think it’s becoming more and more obvious that I am suffering from a serious case of Kalafina-solo fatigue. It seems like I am steadily falling out of love with their solo music which makes me incredibly sad but I guess it was bound to happen at some point. I am not even saying that I dislike the album but there is just a lack of sparks I guess? Objectively speaking, I would say that Wakana’s 3rd album is quite good, I thoroughly enjoy around 60% of it and I’ve been listening to a lot of the songs on repeat. But I am just not as invested as I would like to be. On a side note, is it just me or does the album feel a little too rushed (despite its long production period)? I would have wanted the album to reflect the three years worth of thought and effort that were supposedly put into it but that’s honestly not the vibe I am getting here. I mean, they decided to include an instrumental of one of the tracks AND a literal copy-paste version of a previous album track, that just screams last minute decision to me. I guess it’s because the actual production didn’t start until much later so ultimately, there was a lot of rushing involved but still, it’s a shame.

●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～●～ ●～●～●～●～

M1. Butterfly Dream: I feel like everything has already been said about this. It’s fun with the visuals of the PV but without those, the song loses a lot of its charm for me. Even though it’s the leading track of the album, I find it a bit underwhelming, maybe because the melody isn’t really resonating with me? Also, not a huge fan of how Wakana seems to over-affect (if that’s the right word?) her voice during quite a few parts of the song (especially during the chorus) to sound cute/innocent. She sometimes does this for certain types of anisong covers but it’s honestly not the most flattering singing style in my opinion. I guess the outward “cuteness” of the vocals appeals to a wider audience so it’s not a bad thing per se. I mean, there must be a reason why they picked this as promo track for the album (Rating: 2.5/5) M2. Rapa Nui: Definitely the most exciting and refreshing track on the album. The Celtic(?) sound matches Wakana’s voice perfectly. Kinda sounds like something you would hear at a medieval festival. Reminds me a bit of Kalafina’s “Moonfesta” or Hikaru’s “Fili”. Based on the title, I would have expected the song to sound totally different but I am honestly not mad about how it turned out. It’s great that they used the Rapa Nui language for some lines, spices up the whole thing. I initially believed that the song could have benefited from a stronger chorus but by now I’m literally obsessed with it, can’t get the melody out of my head :P Some of those ultra-high notes don’t sound pleasant to my ears but it’s not on a level where it takes away from my enjoyment. Contemplated taking half a point off for it but at the end of the day, it’s not worth it. It’s such a superb track (Rating: 5/5) M3. 標 (Shirushi): Sometimes this song doesn’t really affect me all that much and other times it makes me cry like a baby (especially when Wakana sings “この先も力に歌うから”). In many ways, it reminds me of “Ai no Hana” which has a similar theme and is one of my favourite tracks from Wakana’s first album but I need to hear it live to get the full experience. The same is the case for “Shirushi”. And I also have to be in the right mood for it. I am not 100% sold on the melody but Wakana’s vocals are gorgeous and the emotion she puts into her singing is just out of this world. On top of that, we have beautiful lyrics and a precious backstory, I can’t help but give this song a high rating (Rating: 4/5) M4. 希望 (Kibou): With the exception of “Rapa Nui” this is probably the only track that instantly clicked with me. Even when we just got a snippet of it, I immediately fell in love. The melody is just the right amount of cheesy in a good way, it hits me right in the feels. I think it comes closest to a standard power ballad or a 90s pop ballad. I am a huge sucker for those and it is obviously the type of song I love to hear from Wakana. Is it just me though or could Wakana have used a more flattering singing style for the chorus? She is going very high and it tends to sound a bit strained. For me, this is on the very edge of sounding screechy, a little higher, a little flatter and I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed it. It’s clearly a challenging track but not necessarily something that Wakana can’t handle imo. Really curious how she will be handling those parts during a live performance. Hopefully she can tweak her style a bit to make it more suitable for the song. Another tiny nitpick is the bland bridge, I wish it had a little more oomph, it’s neither here nor there but oh well, I am so smitten with this song that I can’t really focus on any of the negative aspects (Rating: 4.5/5) M5. 殻 (Kara): Who thought it was a good idea to do a “Tsubasa 2.0.”? I really wish they would have come up with something else. They had more than enough time to look into other options. I understand the intention of course, “Tsubasa” is solid and highlights some of the grittier parts of Wakana’s voice but that doesn’t warrant a blatant rip-off. Enough complaining though, I feel like I am way too harsh on “Kara”. On its own merits, it’s actually quite fun and yeah, just like its predecessor it works flawlessly to highlight Wakana’s voice in a different way, I like her more feisty singing style. Objectively speaking, I really can’t fault this song but it still doesn’t quite hit the spot for me. Thankfully, Wakana’s singing makes up for it (Rating: 3.5/5) M6. そのさきへ(Sono Saki e)～Interlude～: The melody is not striking enough. I am usually a sucker for a good instrumental piece but this one falls a little flat unfortunately. Wakana keeps saying that she cried when she first listened to the demo but I really wonder why...However, I will have to say that the gorgeous piano playing of this interlude does appeal to me more than the melody in the normal version of the song (Rating: 2.5/5) M7. KEMONO feat.清塚信也: I’ve said it before and I will say it again, every cell in my body is rejecting this type of song. I know that’s a me-problem and I feel horrible judging Wakana’s work based on such a personal preference.This reminds me way too much of some of Keiko’s city-pop (or whatever) tracks. The singing is too fast, there is no proper flow, the melody is all over the place, it’s just outright chaotic. I am sure there are people who can appreciate this new experimental style but I am unfortunately not one of them. I generally don’t like giving low ratings but it is how it is, please know that this is purely subjective (Rating: 1/5) M8. 明日を夢見て歌う(Asu wo Yume Mite Utau): The melody right at the beginning and sprinkled in-between the verses is what initially attracted me to the song, so pretty. However, the rest of the song didn’t leave a huge impression when I first heard it during the Christmas concert. I remember I compared it to “Boku Dake no Stage” because it was also composed by Takebe and I thought it was similarly bland. I realise now that this was a very unfair comparison because those songs have absolutely nothing in common. “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau” is much better imo and aligns more with my preferences in terms of music style. Maybe a comparison to “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” would have been better even though Takebe didn’t compose that one... Anyways, after letting the song marinate for a while, I’ve surprisingly come to love “Asu wo Yume Mite Utau”. I’d even go as far as to say it has become one of my favourite tracks from the album. The arrangement is lovely and so are the lyrics. Also adore Wakana’s singing here (Rating: 4/5) M9. Flag: This is probably the most Kalafina/FictionJunction-esque track on the entire album so I understand why it is so popular among YK/Kalafina fans. Personally, I have never been the biggest fan of YK’s more generic anisongs so this track initially didn’t impress me all that much, it was just okay for me, nothing too outstanding. But after hearing it performed live multiple times, it has significantly grown on me. It’s a really solid song and it works perfectly with Wakana’s voice. Even though it might not be the type of music I naturally gravitate towards, it’s still a banger. Especially when you take the Kalafina nostalgia into account. Fun fact, the most recent version with Sakurada has made me add 0.5 points to my initial rating, it was just so good (Rating: 4/5).  M10. そのさきへ (Sono Saki e): Ughhh, I really wanted to love this song but so far my attempts have all failed. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get into it. I mean, there must be something to love about it when I hear Wakana rave about the demo tape as if it were the best thing since sliced bread. What exactly is it about the melody that made her cry so much? It still baffles me that this was written by the same person who was responsible for “Kinmokusei” which I absolutely adore. There are some tiny similarities but all in all, “Sono Saki e” feels rather uninspired in comparison to “Kinmokusei”, at least in my opinion. Hearing it live during the release event has also not done anything to make me appreciate the song more. I am afraid it is a lost cause... (Rating: 2/5) M11. あとひとつ (Ato Hitotsu): Nothing much to say here aside from the fact that I adore this song and I am really glad that it’s finally included in an official release. I prefer to hear it live but the studio recording is surprisingly touching too. So understated and yet so charming. I like how Wakana keeps referring to it as prayer, it’s a fitting description. Perfect delivery, as always (Rating: 5/5)

[dreamerinsilico]

Fic writing questions

tagged by @yuniemaki - thank you for thinking of me!

how many works do you have on ao3?

67

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

344,183

Kind of wild to me, but the VAST majority of those words happened more than five years ago.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Mostly The Sandman right now, although I'm still a Hannibal person and I think I feel some BG3 coming on eventually. I've meandered my way through various video game fandoms over the years and am likely to return to Pillars of Eternity. Rather less likely for the Bioware stuff, but maybe the upcoming DA game will, in a stunning subversion of my expectations, make me care about Dragon Age again.

I really enjoy the Yuletide fic exchange, so I write for whatever small fandom I get assigned that year (so far I've done Wayward Children, Left Hand of Darkness, and Goncharov), and I'm hoping to get more into exchanges.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Constellations of the Things We Left Unsaid - multichapter Reaper76 thing I actually finished and was writing when Overwatch was popular

His Pale Steed - early Hannibal fic, I think it was my second

Best of Cruel Intentions - also earlyish Hannibal fic, and the start of my very excellent mutual betaing relationshihp with @tiggymalvern

Let's Try Another Kind of Peace - T_T WIP crawling out of the well to shame authorkind (also Hannibal. Yes, I still do have intent to get back to it.)

Solstice - Actually tickled and delighted this made the list; it's the second fic I ever posted to AO3, and it is Aela/F!Dovahkiin smut from the Skyrim kinkmeme back in the day

5. do you respond to comments?

A majority of the time, yes. Especially if I get a meaty one to actually talk about!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

....yeah, not really any competition there, it's I Recall, which I wrote for a Pillars of Eternity minibang about my Watcher, Acantha's past-life doomed romance with Iovara.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm not sure how to answer this one! I'm kinda all over the map in terms of the tone of the fics I write, and I don't know how to really differentiate between different happy endings.

But let's shout out You Sang Me of Some Distant Past (Dragon Age, F!Hawke/Morrigan, which canoe I will paddle until the end times) - this was my first ever big bang entry, and I'm still happy with it a decade later.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I think the closest thing to hate I've ever gotten was someone saying my Labyrinth fic had Sarah using too many big words in her head.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

My AO3's linked all over this post, you can just go look.

But uh, lot of D/s, lot of knifeplay, I think are the two big themes.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I have written one (1) crossover! There's Someone Scratching Softly is a Hannibal/Wayward Children crossover where Jack Wolcott is in therapy with Hannibal. It's the leviathan shadow of a much larger AU Hannibal fic I've done a lot of brainstorming on, and I posted it on a whim one day (I hadn't originally intended to, when I wrote it) and was very pleased with that decision, because a few fans who know both canons came out of the woodwork to gush at me about it.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea, but probably not; I don't write enough plotty epics to make it likely.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of. (A couple of delightful people have podficced some of my short Hannibal fics, though! I was very excited.)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Wouldn't completely rule it out as a possibility, but not something I've done date.

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

I don't really do all-time favorites? I do whatever I've got the most brainrot about currently. I don't have a good way of ranking favorite ships relative to one another!

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Relentless Splinters I Recall is the parent fic, sort of, to I Recall, which I mentioned above. It was a very ambitious idea and I love what's there, but I will be very surprised and impressed with myself if I manage to pick that thread back up at some point. I don't think I'm really cut out to do game novelization fic.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Economy's probably the biggest one; I know very well that I can get a lot done in a relatively small number of words. I also really enjoy writing dialogue and like to think I'm good at it.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not the kind of person who can spawn wild AUs or plotlines easily, and I often wish that I was. (I don't think I'm bad at plot, but if I'm writing something plotty there is a lot of very deliberate brainstorming and probably workshopping with a friend or two, and it takes a ton of effort.)

Also just, you know, getting words on the page. (It's hard! It's hard! It's really really haaaaard! ~*)

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think anything from a curse word to a short phrase can have a place, but usually find it obnoxious when writers put in whole exchanges in (usually google translated) Other Language.

There was a post going around at some point discussing how bi/multilingual people do and don't mix languages that was very good and valid.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Labyrinth (1986)

20. favorite fic you've written?

Oof, that's hard. Something, something, can't pick a favorite child.

However, with the caveat that I have a lot of favorites for a lot of reasons, the Goncharov fic I wrote for Yuletide 2023 still pleases me to an outsize degree. Sometimes I think I'm funny.

Tagging @tiggymalvern @stylishanachronism @firebatvillain @xenosimp @pragnificent @softdedue @the-bees-patella @dsudis and anyone else so inclined <3

[ninjahiccups]

The Songbird of Asgard

Chapter 8: All-Father's Scheme

AO3 link Masterlist Word count: 9.4k Warnings: none, Heimdall being a tiiiiiiiny bit jealous

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blurb: With Heimdall and Eivor's secret hideout replaced by the wall, it becomes more obvious to outsiders that something has changed between them. Odin is no exception. He runs a simple test, one that will allow him to calculate exactly how to make the most of a potentially advantageous arrangement. (Next chapter...things are happening...what things? I'll never tell >:})

If the summary wasn't clear enough...yes, I will be putting the reader insert version on hiatus for now. Based on responses from here and AO3, I think it would be best to write the version that's easiest for me first, then return to the reader insert later on. I'm very sorry to anyone that's disappointed, but I would rather write one version at a time than finish neither of them. For those of you who gave your input, thank you! It really helped me out and made me feel like I had ways to judge the better option, and that really put my mind at ease.

Thank you all again for reading my work, I'm still shocked that so many people like it T_T I hope you enjoy, because something big is happening next chapter :)

It was just like any other day. Heimdal awoke at the crack of dawn, reported to Odin, was handed a few specific tasks, and then he was off on his rounds, ensuring everything in Asgard was in perfect order. After checking off one of Odin's requests, he went straight for his patrol, needing the peace of the wall to counteract the headache he obtained from the rowdy einherjar drinking with Thor at the Black Thunder. How he wished one of Odin's ravens could have delivered that confounded message to the oafish god.

Just like any other day, he went to the lift and waited until it reached the top. Once there, he followed the path to the right, reached the end of the wall, then turned around to march over to the other side. It was about halfway through that journey that the day became unique. His footsteps slowed, feeling a presence up ahead. Then music. Unmistakable music.

He couldn't hold back a smile. Eivor had kept her word. 

It took all his will power not to rush over. He still had to keep an eye on the realm, although his footfalls seemed to speed up of their own volition regardless. Within minutes he found her, sitting on a purple blanket with her legs folded under her, eyes closed as she played her lyre and sang peacefully. The spot she picked was not random, he noticed. It was the same place he took her to the night before.

Heimdall felt his expression soften against his bidding. He approached quietly, seeing that she was unaware of his arrival. As she wrapped up the last verse of her song, he knelt down next to her blanket, silent as the wind. The last note rang and faded into the morning air, her sigh the only sound following it into infinity. After a few moments of silence, Heimdall, with a wicked smirk, remarked, "What do we have here?"

Eivor jumped with a gasp and nearly dropped her lyre, catching it just before the delicate instrument could hit the hard stone. Heimdall stood and guffawed at her as she panted. "So, the songbird has made a nest!"

Eivor glared up at him, although her jovial chuckle and grin took away any threat it could have portrayed. "You're lucky I didn't sit near the edge!"

"Oh please, you think I would let you fall off? On my watch?"

"If you're in the right mood."

All he did was shake his head. No, that wasn't the case. For anyone else, sure, but not for her.

Their time together the night before sealed that. He'd known for so long that she was different, that she was so much better than everyone else. But to feel it with his own hands? That was something he wanted again. 

Even if he had no idea how to make it happen.

"What kind of mood?" Heimdall asked, pacing around her with his eyes on the horizon. He was working, not stuck in his head. Not at all.

"The kind when you're so annoyed that you're ready to hurt somebody," she replied, tuning the lyre while she waited for him to settle down.

He finally did, standing beside her with his eyes still scanning the plains. "That's where you're wrong, because I am in that mood, and you're still here."

Eivor's playful expression fell into one of concern. He could feel how distressed she became. "Already? It's not even noon."

A sigh, idly rubbing the bridge of his nose while scowling at the thought of the einherjar. "Blame that damned tavern."

Her green eyes were filled with sadness. "But I've taught you how to deal with that."

Heimdall felt needles pierce his stomach at her disappointment. It was the same feeling he'd get when he failed to serve Odin properly — in his younger days that is. Without hesitation, he scrambled for an excuse that would banish her sorrow as quickly as possible. "It's a tavern full of drunk einherjar. Not exactly a good time to ignore my surroundings when fists could fly at any moment."

No response. He looked down at Eivor, gazing into the distance and her brow furrowed in thought. After a minute she offered a hum, then turned back to him with an inspired shine in her eyes. "Well, why don't we use that trick now? I'll help you calm down."

Heimdall paused, suspicious, but not in a way that alarmed him. It was more like he was…wary of what she was trying to pull rather than assuming she meant any harm. "That's a lie." The first lie he had ever caught her telling, actually. That was definitely a record. Usually people lie to him almost immediately after meeting him.

To his surprise, she just smiled. "Yes, it is. But don't worry, I have an idea." She patted the blanket, beckoning him to sit down.

Why did the invitation make his heart stutter? He'd sat down next to her plenty of times now.

He did as she asked, allowing him to realize why this felt different. Sitting on a blanket felt more…intimate. He wasn't used to it at all.

He still didn't like the idea of not knowing exactly what she was doing — it didn't seem like she did either, for that matter — but she had earned enough of his trust at this point. Even if her intention to "test" him didn't make any sense.

"Okay, we're going to do the same thing we did the first time. Close your eyes, deep breath, and focus on one thing at a time." Eivor performed the routine with him, placing her lyre to the side and out of the way. Heimdall followed her lead, once again unsure of what exactly he was supposed to think about when he was doing absolutely nothing. There were a few birds flying around, the breeze was nice…Eivor was there. 

Off his mind went, just like the first attempt. Once he remembered that she was next to him he couldn't shake the feeling of her presence. Her warmth, her steady breaths, her voice ringing out once more. "Keep breathing, keep thinking. The only thing here is whatever is on your mind."

That thought didn't help his fixation. It made him rethink the night before, when she…hugged him. He was never one to crave companionship, he loathed being touched, and his personal space extended well beyond arm's length, and yet he wanted it to happen again. Just thinking about it —

In a snap his foresight shrieked, his arm pouncing on its own to catch the oncoming threat. His eyes shot open and immediately flew to Eivor, wondering if this danger had come for her as well.

"It worked!" Eivor cheered, smiling at him brightly.

Heimdall paused, unable to fathom what had just unfolded. "What?"

"Your foresight!"

Heimdall looked to the hand that had caught something and found her wrist in his grasp, palm poised to slap him.

All he could do was blink.

Eivor wasn't perturbed by his silence, rambling on, "So then, technically, I was wrong. You can't turn off your foresight, but you can filter it to a degree." As she spoke her hand twisted and her fingers pointed around, gesticulating randomly just to accompany her thought process. Heimdall's eyes remained on the point of contact as he felt her wrist flex and twist. It was somehow more distracting than any rambunctious einherjar he ever had the displeasure of passing by. "It seems that danger is the hardest to ignore," she continued. "Which makes sense. Even someone without foresight would duck when something is thrown at them, so why wouldn't a man with foresight react when he can feel a hit coming?" Her grin was proud and filled with satisfaction.

Heimdall just stared, processing her logic. So this was all a ploy to prove that there was no danger to inhibiting his foresight…therefore no reason not to use her trick regardless of where he was?

Clever. And interesting. If this was true then he could use it whenever he needed to venture through a crowd. The thought was tempting, even liberating in a way. As much as he wanted to agree with her and believe this was a positive discovery, he was still reluctant, not trusting anyone enough to let their intentions out of his sight for more than a moment.

Maybe he would use it around her more often instead. Clearly things got more interesting when she could get the jump on him. 

The thought made Heimdall smile in amusement, enjoying the reminder that there was never a dull moment with her. "So you were actually going to hit me? Knowing that there was a real possibility that I wouldn't stop it?" Stern, but his smirk negated whatever effect his tone had.

Eivor gave him a fake pout. "Aww, is the big bad watchman afraid of a tiny tap?" Heimdall threw her wrist away with a roll of his eyes, making her giggle. "I wouldn't have hit you that hard."

"You still would have hit me."

"Oh, please, I've hit you much harder in the past than I would have today." Heimdall shook his head, bitter that she brought up their fight in Muspelheim yet again. Eivor let out another chuckle, knowing exactly what he was thinking about. She decided to make it up to him by retrieving her lyre and playing once again. The irritation faded, and Heimdall found himself just sitting, listening, gazing across the gorgeous plains of Asgard with a content smile. With Eivor at his side.

He completely forgot he was in the middle of his work.

A black raven flew off.

The All-Father sifted through his extensive notes, determined to find every clue he needed. Every single movement, every step taken, every word spoken that would bring about Ragnarok and its outcome was hidden somewhere, waiting for him to find and herd into his fine tuned control. Such a monumental goal left him cursing the green rift in front of him that held all the answers for being close enough to touch but too far to reach even after all these centuries. The mask was the key, the only one that could fit the complex lock on the door to all the answers he needed. If only he could just find the rest of it, everything would fall into place. But until then, he would have to settle for precautions and influence. His fate had to be in his own hands, for him to mold and carve into his desires. There was no other way to live.

His train of thought was broken when one of his beloved ravens swooped in, cawing like it had just lost a wing. Odin sighed, holding out his arm for the bird to perch upon. "What's so urgent, Huginn? Can't catch enough rats to keep you fed?"

Huginn squawked while flapping his feathers with fury, offended that his own master would imply he was so inept at basic avian skills. The raven bounced from Odin's arm and onto the desk, careful to avoid stepping on any of his scribblings. Another squawk, this one more controlled.

"What about them?" Odin barely even lifted his eye from his desk. 

Caw! Caw!

Odin sighed once more. Huginn had been adamant that he keep an eye on Eivor and Heimdall, but he didn't need to be reminded of it constantly. He wasn't oblivious, oh no. He had paid close attention to his most trusted and loyal servant and his "friendship" with Asgard’s latest tool. Not long ago Huginn burst into the study, telling him all about Eivor's introduction to the top of the wall — how close they had gotten. 

It was…unexpected. Frankly, Heimdall was the last weapon within his arsenal that he ever expected to get involved with any person. The god could barely tolerate working with others for business reasons.

Exactly what Odin wanted.

Which was why this was not a concern to him. The old Aesir waved a hand dismissively at the bird. "Yes, I've seen it. And I have yet to find a reason to stop it."

Chirp!

"What do you mean, why?" Odin harrumphed, still refusing to take his gaze off of his work. "There's no reason to. This is Heimdall we're talking about, remember? Sooner or later he'll see something he doesn't like and drop it like it never happened. Worst case scenario is that he gets bored and moves on."

Squawk!!

"How do I know?!" Odin finally gave the raven his full attention, glowering down at it with his one good eye. "I know because I made him that way," he bellowed, repeatedly tapping a finger on the table for emphasis. "No matter what anyone does, he's always going to be loyal. I made sure of that." He went back to shuffling through papers, though now he had lost his momentum and couldn't recount where he left off. "Between that and his foresight, there's nothing to worry about. Besides, we need Eivor too. She may not be as useful, but her abilities and immunity to magic are one of a kind, not even the norns can track her, based on my observations. Should Ragnarok come, we'll need her."

Huginn paused, almost convincing Odin that he had been quieted for the time being. Then the raven sent an image his way.

Odin's eye snapped upward at the bird's vision. Eivor had been getting Heimdall to abandon his foresight. Momentarily, and he was still reluctant. But that left a hole in his plan.

A hole in the airtight plan he had been crafting for generations.

This would not do.

Then again, he thought, Heimdall's loyalty was more than a lifetime in the making, and Odin's means of securing it were not easily overcome, regardless of who or what was intervening. Even if that weren't the case, he had already made mental arrangements for what he would have Eivor do if the ultimate war came about, and he needed that security. Even if she broke down whatever barriers had been made around Heimdall, getting rid of her was a last resort. Those protective spells and her skill with staves were essential to his army. 

The old man pondered, analyzing just how his options weighed against each other. It was still far too early to make a sensible judgment. Perhaps a test was in order.

Odin glanced at Huginn one last time before closing all his books and deciding to take care of other labors until he could get some peace and quiet to focus. "You've been keeping an eye on them so far. Why don't you continue doing that and tell me how this test works out..." The Aesir king dragged the book with his notes on the realm-sealing relic stuffed inside to the center of his desk. That next piece just became a priority.

The secluded fire pit on the outskirts of Gladsheim was all but forgotten. Eivor almost always made a trip to the top of the wall when she wanted to sing, knowing Heimdall would end up there eventually, usually in the evenings — though, there were times when she'd catch him in the morning, leading to him staying until he remembered he had work to do. She'd just play and read until she heard him approach, then they were back to the banter and discussions they always had. The specific spot Heimdall had brought her to see the Plains of Ida became their new hideaway, and with this one being so far from anyone, Heimdall found himself almost letting loose completely, never minding any nosy farmers wandering by and focusing completely on Eivor's sweet music and even sweeter voice. 

In fact, Heimdall found himself doing many new things. In the past he would stop and speak to her if their paths happen to cross outside of their get-togethers. After they claimed the wall as theirs, however, he unconsciously wandered to wherever he heard she would be, even pretending that he was there by coincidence, just to have a few words with her. She knew it wasn't a coincidence. He knew that she knew it was intentional, yet she made no arguments, and he made no attempt to stop. It was like a game, one with no real win conditions or strategy. She would keep an eye out for him, knowing he would turn up sooner or later, and he would find ways to sneak up on her, all so they could exchange knowing looks that no other could understand. It was playful, childish, and neither of them cared.

The downside was the witnesses. Occasionally speaking was one thing, as was both of them disappearing without anyone's knowledge. But running into each other several times a day, and catching Eivor take the lift up to the wall often? That raised some eyebrows.

People were picking up on it, and it showed. When they interacted onlookers would watch like a rabid bear was tearing a rabbit to shreds. Their fear of the god of foresight prevented anyone from speaking up, or even looking at them while they watched things unfold, aware that Heimdall would not miss their disapproval. 

All but one onlooker. Sif. She had become more involved as of late, finding more opportunities to invite Eivor to visit the mortals outside the wall, to help her make sure Thrúd's brothers weren't too rough when she played with them, to run errands for Odin. She timed these requests very well, always asking just before Eivor would grab her instrument and head to the lift. At first, Eivor didn’t mind. Sif was a friend that acted like a concerned parent, keeping a close eye on her and trying to keep her away from trouble. After a couple weeks of this, Eivor became more and more annoyed. Not by her concern, but by her blatant belief that she should not be around Heimdall as much as she was. 

One event in particular stuck out to her. Sif invited her to come with her while she delivered some urgent and crucial orders to the dwarves in Svartalfheim. Eivor refused, which made Sif give her a look that hid none of her worry. "You sure you don't want to come?"

Eivor shrugged. "I've always kept to myself in the evenings."

"Yes…but you seem to be…" she hesitated, wondering how she could word this without it coming across as controlling. "You've been spending a lot of that time with Heimdall lately."

Eivor became shy, seeking denial as a response. "Not with him in particular…just on the wall. The view is really nice." 

The elder goddess's frown somehow deepened. "And he lets you go there?"

This made Eivor smirk. "We've worked together for some time now. He knows better than to argue."

A sigh was her only response. Reluctantly, Sif voiced the one phrase she had tried to avoid. "Is he…holding something over you?"

It took all of Eivor’s strength not to scowl at her. Heimdall, forcing her to stay with him on the wall? The man may have been a prick but he wouldn't force her into something she didn't consent to, that much she knew, even if no one would believe it. She had a hard time imagining Heimdall forcing anyone into that situation, considering he didn't like people in general. Instead of claiming as much, wanting to prevent a conversation she could feel brewing in Sif's mind, Eivor held back and replied with something that displayed her confidence. "Thor's told you about Muspelheim, hasn't he? You think I'd let him get away with that?"

Sif didn't appreciate the joke. Her eyes grew weary and her shoulders slumped just a bit, defeated. "I guess not." Pause. "But if he ever gives you trouble, please tell me."

Eivor felt her teeth grind together. It was becoming harder and harder to contain her agitation. It happened all the time. Everyone would see that she made a choice to befriend Heimdall — a choice she was able to make based on her own observations — and yet everyone always assumed the worst. Heimdall was forcing her, she believed he was lonely and pitied him, All-Father was asking them to bond for a potential marriage or some other absurd idea like that. She's seen some of the looks Heimdall gets when they chat. They think that Heimdall is toying with her for entertainment, playing a game with a willing participant just to laugh at them once he pulls the rug out from under them. Not a single one of them considered that all of it was completely mutual.

Were they blind? Did they not see that she was in control and that she just liked Heimdall? That they were friends? It made her want to scream to the entire city that, even though he was a massive jerk with a huge ego, he wasn't horrible through and through. He had flaws, many of them at the front of his demeanor, but he had bits of him that were as warm and pleasant as the morning air after a midnight storm, just like anyone else. At the very least, they should acknowledge that he works hard to protect everyone even though he knows they hate him, which was selfless of him and unfair of them by her standards. They just refused to see it. 

It was enticing, the idea of just revealing to everyone that they have a wonderful time together, the things he had said and done that were heartwarming, how much fun he could be if he didn't need to be on guard constantly. But no. That would violate the trust that had made this relationship possible, and she couldn't even think about how much worse he would be if he found out the one person he opened up to betrayed him, even if it was in such a small way. 

She kept it to herself, wishing Sif well on her errand and narrowly containing her frustration until she reached the top of the wall, where she plopped down with her legs dangling off the edge and sighed. In a moment she picked up her flute. If she was still upset when Heimdall arrived he would no doubt see it, and the reason for her anger was something she was not ready to explain. 

They didn't matter, she told herself. What did matter was her and Heimdall, and how much they enjoyed each other's friendship.

The term made spirits sink. Yes, that was all this was, wasn't it?

"Flute day?" 

Eivor jumped, the words spoken right next to her ear. She growled in irritation as Heimdall laughed and sat next to her, looking far too pleased for her liking. "Don't do that! I could have dropped it!" 

He chuckled, "Worry not, Songbird, I wouldn't allow such a tragedy to occur." Eivor rolled her eyes, knowing that his foresight wasn't prescient enough to predict inanimate objects. "No lyre today?"

She shoved whatever thought she had as far as possible, pretending that there was nothing on her mind other than Heimdall's question. "I wasn't feeling it as much. Why do you ask?"

"You can't sing with a flute."

Eivor smiled, catching the slip up. "Is that a bad thing?"

Heimdall blanched, realizing he was about to blab about his preference for her voice. He gave an uninterested shrug. "It's…more dynamic with more than one instrument." There, that wasn't a confession. Not that it worked. Eivor was flattered, he could feel it. He should have known that she was too observant to miss his mistake.

She also sensed his discomfort, deciding to spare him from it. With the flute returned to its pouch, she sought a distraction. "Well, if you're going to complain, then no music at all then. Heimdall pursed his lips in annoyance and it made her snicker. "Tell me about your day instead. What's the latest hot gossip you've picked up on?"

After getting over her ludicrous phrasing he went on and on, telling her all about the apprentice chef and old goat farmer's affair that started months ago, that Hrist and Mist both believed Gna's skills were inferior to Sigrun's, that the errand Magni performed while his father was severely intoxicated went horribly wrong. The usual.

But it didn't last long. He forwent the talk about himself in favor of reviewing the book he was reading, one that she recommended to him. Just like that all his duties and complaints didn't matter, and he was lost to one of the things he enjoyed.

This. This was what she meant. This was what Eivor wanted everyone to see someday. No pedantical micromanagement, no cruelty born of mistrust and ill experience, no unshakable hand of Odin. Just Heimdall, passionate and attentive and content. Hilarious in his own way, curious and inquisitive, not as selfish as everyone assumed. It was such a privilege to see it. With each passing day it became harder and harder to hide how much it meant to her, and that the word "friend" was less and less fitting, no matter how much she tried to keep it to herself.

Heindall paused, brow furrowed and eyes looking at her with bewilderment. Eivor was the one who had slipped now, forgetting he could sense her increasing enjoyment. Her lips parted to urge him to continue, make it seem like her emotions were not something he needed to think too much about. A blue feathered raven interrupted, landed on a rock behind them with its gaze landing on the watchman. He sighed, sounding disappointed, then brushed it off and bid her good night. Muninn's beady eyes examined her before taking him away.

They were somehow much more…disturbing than she remembered.

The next day Eivor was called to Odin's study. It was strange that the message was delivered through servants. Up until then she was usually summoned there via Heimdall.

She entered the room, gently closing the door behind her while she listened for Heimdall's unmistakable reports to Odin.

There were none. Once she turned she found the room empty, save for Odin and Huginn. Strange. Maybe he's on his way, she thought. But something felt different. Off.

"There you are, Eivor! Come in, come in, don't be shy," Odin beckoned with a wave of his hand. Eivor complied, stepping up to his desk to see his notes and the five pieces of the artifact that had been recovered. If she remembered correctly, Odin claimed there were seven to be found.

That's all? Perhaps that was why this felt so odd. It was a reminder that her time dedicated to working alongside Heimdall was nearing its end. 

The All-Father shook her of those thoughts, getting straight to the point. "I'm sure you've guessed that I've got a new piece for you to track down. This one's unfortunately in Helheim, of all places." 

Eivor's white brows raised. "Helheim? Is it even possible to get to it then?"

"With my ravens taking you beyond the Bridge of the Damned, yes. Hraesvelgr likely won't be pleased, but so long as you don't cause trouble she shouldn't interfere. You'll just have to be quick." Odin's eye raised to her. There was something in it that was…calculating. 

Before she could ask how long it would take for Heimdall to join her the door to the study opened. Her heart jumped with excitement until she heard how heavy the footfalls were. Not at all like Heimdall's light and nimble ones.

"All-Father." Thor stopped next to her, towering over her as he did everyone else. His speech was slurred, but he seemed coherent enough. So why would he burst in when his father was in the middle of business?

"Took you long enough," the king snapped, returning his gaze to Eivor, this time with a softer feel. As he handed her one of the recovered pieces she couldn't help but think the amiable expression felt awfully fake. "Thor will be going with you," was all he said before he mumbled a phrase, orange magic dripping from his fingers and over to his two employees, filling them with a lingering warmth. 

Eivor felt her heart drop, worried. "Forgive me, All-Father," she paused, glancing at Thor, "and no offense to you, Thor. Heimdall usually attends these errands. Is he not well?"

Odin barely looked up from his notes. "I need him today. Don't worry, you'll be the brains of the operation. Just tell Thor where to swing his hammer when you need it, that's all he's good for anyway."

It was subtle, but Thor seemed to deflate just a touch at his father's harsh criticism. Eivor had a hard time holding her tongue, thinking that no father should speak to their child in such a demeaning way regardless of age or any apparent mistakes. "I see…" she murmured.

Without another word, Huginn lifted off from his desktop perch and enveloped them in ravens, sweeping them up and into Helheim. As the birds encapsulated them in their tornado, she asked, "Is Heimdall doing something important?"

Thor gave an indifferent shrug. "Don't think so. He's making sure some orders are being carried out in Svartalfheim. All-Father probably sent him since he scares the shit out of the dwarves."

Eivor nodded, just as puzzled. If Odin only needed intimidation, wouldn't Thor do just as well? 

She was missing something.

There was no time to consider as the biting cold gripped them. Whatever spell Odin used was keeping her warm enough, but the freezing winds still nipped at her skin and made her shiver. Not even the All-Father could completely fend off the cold of Helheim, it seemed.

Upon inspecting the realm, this was likely the one place Eivor didn’t want to see and explore. The mountains of ice that had lost souls plodding across them were unsettling, and the abandoned statues and architecture made the realm of the dead feel just as lifeless as its title suggested. Capsized and crumpled boats lie destroyed in the frozen ocean underneath the cliff behind them, the stagnant water stretching far into the distance, like an unending wasteland of death and suffering. At the horizon was the fabled eagle of Hel, Hraesvelgr, sitting gracefully on a humongous iceberg, staring daggers at them in a way that sent more chills down Eivor's spine than the unforgiving wind did. 

Why did this have to be the one time Heimdall didn’t come with her? For once she was frightened at the thought of exploring. Despite how capable Thor was, his presence didn't sooth her nearly as much as just the idea of Heimdall's did.

"So uh…" Thor slurred, eyes unfocused. "Where we goin'?"

"Oh, right…" Eivor said, withdrawing the relic shard from her pocket. The spell revealed the path to the shard they were pursuing, winding up the icy mountain above them to the summit, accessible by the pathways that the lost souls were trudging down. She felt herself sigh in relief. This one was close and the path to it was simple. It would be a quick chore that they could complete and then escape the bitter realm without incident. "It's this way," she called to Thor, who dragged his feet to follow her. 

The base of the frozen path made her hesitate. There were so many souls, cold and abandoned, coming down the slope, and she didn't want to disturb them on their journey to…wherever they were supposed to go. Until one soul walked straight into her, fading into dust before reappearing behind her. It was a peculiar sensation, like freezing wind blowing only as far as where she stood, then cut off abruptly. She would have preferred never to feel it again, but there was little choice. Thor could travel by Mjolnir, but she had only seen it end in an explosive landing thus far, which would likely destroy or move the piece they needed. Too destructive for their purpose, based on her experience.

Thor caught up to her, seeming to have a clearer mind for a brief moment. "They're dead, kid. You won't bother 'em." Spoken softly, like he was reassuring a frightened child.

Eivor sighed, still unable to shake the unease. "I know." She braced herself and took the first steps, the dead dispersing around her as she advanced, Thor's thudding steps sluggishly following. Her mind begins to wander, slowly beginning to detest how quiet it was. Nothing but the howl of the wind and the deceased, no birdsong or leaves rustling, no conversation that she could think of sharing with Thor at a time like this, no banter with Heimdall…

She held back a sigh. It really just wasn't the same without him. To think she would have given anything to have Thor accompany her months ago.

The god in question spoke, gravelly voice echoing in the decaying air. "What's this thing supposed to look like?"

"Well, it's not much. Just a —" Eivor shrieked as the ice wall burst just behind her head, a blue arm grabbing at the movement beyond its confines. She stumbled forward, getting away from the draugr that dug its way through the ice to reach her. In the moment after her recovery she found herself wishing Heimdall and his self-proclaimed "perfection" were there to predict that.

Thor acted. A bit too much, actually. His enormous hand shot out and seized the draugr by the chest, banging it into the wall hard enough for it to crack. Eivor didn’t need Heimdall's foresight to see where this was going. "Thor, be care —" It was too late. Thor summoned his mighty hammer into his grasp and hurled it into the draugr, obliterating it and the ice around it. The mountain crumbled, chunks falling all around them. Eivor backed into an ice pillar and quickly ducked behind it, covering her ears at the rumbling roar of the landslide. The sound slowly died down until shards of ice skittered across the ruined ground. Eivor stood and looked up. Just as she feared, the mountain that they were meant to traverse was no more and the path to the next relic piece now aimed downward, light faint as if the magic itself wasn't certain how to reach their goal now.

Eivor blinked, the realization that her and Thor's assignment just became much, much longer. For once she was wishing for Heimdall's theatrical approach for its subtlety. And if Heimdall was considered subtle by comparison, that really said something.

The crackling of lighting preceded Thor's return, the god having tumbled down with the ice he had shattered. He rose back up to the ruined platform where Eivor remained with a firm grip on Mjolnir until he was on his feet. The giant god sniffed and sighed, sounding like he had just woken up from a nap. Placing his legendary hammer back onto his belt, his glazed eyes went back to Eivor. "Where to now?"

A deep, reluctant sigh was all he got as she rubbed her temple.

She missed Heimdall. In many more ways than she thought she would.

Heimdall strutted across the wall, the afternoon sun turning the stone into a warm grey. Sif had taken forever in Svartalfheim, instructing the dwarves as if they were delicate children that needed to be coddled instead of the lunkheaded miners they were. As fun as it was to watch the dwarves cower in his presence, it got old very quickly if he couldn't actually do anything to them.

But finally, the task was done and he was home. He was finishing his rounds and off to the last part of his routine. The tension in his shoulders was relaxing at the thought of Eivor’s music already.

Then he got closer to their meeting place. And closer. And closer. Yet he still heard nothing.

Odd…sometimes she was reading, that must have been why she was so quiet. The silence didn't mean anything was different.

Unfortunately it did, confirmed by her absence. Heindall felt his brow furrow and nervousness gather in his chest. There was no reason for him to be anxious. Yet he still was, wondering what had prevented her from meeting him. Her safety was the first thing to cross his mind, but there was nothing in the realm that would cause her serious harm. He worked hard to make sure of that.

Perhaps Odin would fill him in on some work she was given while he was busy. With that in mind he traveled to the All-Father's study to give his daily report.

"Good, everything's in order then," Odin said, eyes down on the book in front of him as he sat behind his desk. "With that settled I just need Eivor to get back from Helheim with the relic shard and we can call this a productive day."

Heimdall felt his blood run cold. Helheim? Alone?

"Forgive my unnecessary query, All-Father, but you sent her there on her own?" Eivor was strong enough. She was capable. She could handle herself. He didn't need to let the crippling worry settle in as fast as it was. But all he could think about was her using her copycat trick, tiring herself out on the endless draugr until she couldn't face them any longer… The imagery terrified him, so much that he couldn't even feel his typical hatred for the emotion.

Odin snapped him out of the nightmare with a dismissive tone. "I sent Thor with her. They should be back soon."

"Thor?!" Heimdall recoiled at his own exasperation. In front of Odin, no less.

The Aesir king didn't react as strongly as expected, merely closing his book and folding his hands over it, fixing his loyal follower with an emotionless, unreadable stare. "Is that a problem?"

Heimdall had to control himself. Sure, Thor wasn't so incompetent that he would let something happen to Eivor, even if he was nearly blackout drunk, but it still filled him with…

Anger. Fury, indignation, horror, disappointment, all manner of emotions, and none of them pleasant.

Searching for the relic, traveling the realms in pursuit of its fragments. That was theirs. No one else's. 

But they were sent on All-Father's orders, and that was something he could not object to, no matter how much it made his stomach lurch and blood boil. "Not at all, All-Father," Heimdall confidently replied with a slight bow, voice more even than it felt. "I'm merely concerned for any…issues Thor would cause while involved with something so fragile." He was referring to the relic, but something in the back of his mind thought of Eivor instead.

"Your concern is sound. They have been gone longer than expected…" Odin said with disinterest, turning his attention to Muninn and smoothing out the raven's feathers. "But Eivor is resourceful and intelligent enough to manage him. They'll do just fine." 

Odin dismissed him with a careless wave of his hand, and Heimdall obeyed without a second thought.

His steps grew heavier as he reached the first floor of the lodge, growing into stomps as he slammed the doors open, sending any residents fleeing. 

Why was he so pissed off?

Muninn was high above, tailing him.

Eivor exited Odin's study with a sigh, exhausted and achy from the seemingly unending trek through Hel. The relic was retrieved, but not before Thor caused another catastrophic disruption that forced them to take another route…twice. It was already nightfall, the stars poking through the dark sky as the moon peeked over Asgard’s wall.

Heimdall's wall, she corrected herself with a chuckle. Despite how tired she was, she still made her way to the lift, thinking Heimdall had waited for her at the top.

She frowned when he wasn't there. The disappointment drained whatever energy she had left. With weighted spirits she returned to her cottage, deciding she would have to see him tomorrow. Even if she was incredibly let down that she hadn't seen him at all that day.

The next morning she left early, hoping to catch him on his early routine. Again, he didn't come. 

She was growing concerned, wondering if something was wrong. The better part of the morning was spent asking about him, but everyone she asked would flinch at his name, the blood draining from their face before insisting that they hadn't seen him and didn't know anything of his whereabouts. Most servants were terrified of him, sure. This, however, was an entirely new level of fear. 

It wasn't until she ran into Sif at the Great Lodge that she got an answer. "Heimdall? Honestly, it's for the best that you've missed him. He's been in a terrible mood lately," she explained casually, sipping mead with Magni while the younger god sharpened his rectangular sword. Eivor couldn't help but feel bad for the servants who watched him, lamenting the sight of the metallic dust he was leaving behind.

So. Heimdall was in a bad mood. "Isn't he always in a bad mood?" Eivor could picture the look he would give her at that remark.

Sif chuckled, "Well, yes, he is irate often. But this time he's especially short-tempered. Something's really upset him, it seems."

Heimdall was upset and he didn't go to Eivor for relief? Strange. Either he was so cranky that he didn't want to even look at another person (possible), or she was the problem. That wouldn't make sense though. He was fine last she saw him, and she wasn't in Asgard after that, making the latter a less logical explanation. "Do you know when it started?" Perhaps there were some clues to dig up.

With a shrug, Sif replied, "I'm not exactly sure. He was irritable after we returned from Svartalfheim, but not this much. I think…after he reported to All-Father maybe?"

Not as helpful as Eivor had hoped. Meetings with Odin were never a source of agitation for him. Besides, the only thing he could have learned while he was there was…

She almost failed to hold back a smirk. Oh, Heimdall. How petty you are. A smile bloomed on her lips. "Well, I guess he needs time to brood, then. Are you busy today?" Sif was delighted, inviting Eivor to accompany her while she fulfilled her duties. All Eivor had to do now was wait for the inevitable moment when they would run into Heimdall.

And eventually it came. Sif had just finished inspecting the servants' work around the lodge, ensuring everything was in tip-top shape when Eivor caught him. He was at the door to the lodge, explaining an order to Baldur — something about a potential lead to track in another realm; she wasn't interested enough to listen closely. He was standing beside the door, in the perfect position to see everyone who entered and exited. It was a golden opportunity. 

While Sif led Eivor on their way out of the lodge, Baldur paused his conversation with Heimdall to down the rest of his drink, raising the stein high enough for it to be perpendicular to the roof. She focused all of her thoughts on Heimdall, knowing he would feel it. Like clockwork, he tensed, eyes finding hers while Baldur was distracted. Eivor gave him a warm grin, feeling only a tad guilty for ignoring what Sif was saying. For a moment Heimdall seemed flustered before offering a smirk in return, then brought his attention back to the other god after Baldur finished his mead. 

Alright, that definitely ruled out all other theories.

Yes, he was jealous. Not in a way that made him angry at her or anyone else specifically, but it left him sour enough to avoid pretty much everybody he wasn't obligated to speak to while he boiled, more than likely too lost in his anger to even realize he had unintentionally avoided her. As much as she wanted to find the situation laughable, she couldn't. If their roles were reversed, she wouldn't want one of their last journeys spent as partners taken by another either. It was still possible that he could just be upset that Thor was sent on a quest meant for Heimdall, but he never questioned Odin's orders before, making that unlikely. So the former it was, not that he would admit it 

The second part of her plan was within reach. Sif had impeccable timing, bringing up the ideal subject to make her scheme seem totally natural. "I never asked, how was your trip with Thor? I hope my husband behaved himself."

Baldur was still speaking with Heimdall, elaborating his course of action for whatever assignment Odin wanted him to complete. The watchman wasn't listening, suddenly more interested in the topic of Sif and Eivor's conversation. Which was spectacular. "Oh, Thor was fine. He only gave me a little trouble." Presented as a joke even though the frustration of Thor's hasty violence was still fresh on her mind.

Sif chuckled and started telling her a story about something Thor did, but she wasn't paying attention. Her eyes were glued to Heimdall, catching his gaze as she passed through the door to the lodge. She focused on one single thought.

Heimdall heard it, evident by the widening of his eyes. Eivor tore her green irises away, pretending that nothing happened. Now all she had to do was wait.

Heimdall had only ever rushed through his duties once before. That day was the second time.

He'd heard Eivoe think it. Not only did she think it, she intentionally let him catch it. 

I wish you were there. 

Given the context, there was no mistaking the meaning.

She…missed him.

The thought made a shiver run down his spine. He had to ask her about it, ask her exactly what she had missed. If it was his skills, that was one thing. But just him?

Unfortunately for Heimdall, his to-do list was long that day, stretching through the evening and into the night, the stars high in the sky by the time he was finished and heading up the wall for his final patrol. 

He didn't even patrol, actually. So eager to know the truth, he completely forgot and went straight to her.

Eivor was at the wall's edge, legs dangling over the precipice and humming while she polished her lyre. Heimdall felt his pace slow to a crawl as he watched her, listening to her content voice and feeling lighter at the sound. "There you are," she called without looking his way. Heimdall fought the urge to grumble to himself for not catching how loud his approach was and met her at the edge, sitting down at her side. "You must have been busy to be running this late."

With a smug grin he shot back, "And you must be awfully bored to sit here and wait for me for so long." 

As usual, Eivor matched his sarcasm without missing a beat. "I implied I was expecting you, but I never said I was waiting for you." Her smirk made him roll his eyes.

She seemed to know that he had come by with a purpose, saying nothing as he contemplated how he would breach the topic at hand. It was an inner debate that lasted far too long, but Eivor was as patient as ever, allowing him to take the time he needed. His stomach did somersaults, knowing she was always so patient with him when he was acting like a bumbling idiot.

After running through who knows how many introductory statements, he sighed and chose to be direct. While his eyes remained on the plains beyond Gladsheim, and her fingers plucked quietly at the lyre, he said with an unreadable tone, "You wanted me to hear it." Eivor's music stopped and she hummed, asking for clarification. "What you thought…in the lodge," Heimdall added, feeling his pulse quicken while the scenario replayed in his mind. "You wanted to tell me that."

Acting as if it meant nothing, Eivor shrugged. "Yeah. Isn't that obvious?"

It was, but her pointing it out didn't irritate him as it usually would have. He had to know. "Why?" 

Eivor refused to meet his questioning gaze, knowing he would find things she wasn't ready to reveal if he looked into her mind. Yes, the answer she was about to give was correct, but she could feel that deep down in her heart, it was just something she wanted to do. She just wanted him to know that he had become…irreplaceable. "Well," she began, bringing the lyre to life once more as she nonchalantly explained the half-truth. "I'd heard you had been in an awful mood, one so bad that you didn't even want to come here last night." It was so small she almost missed it, but she caught Heimdall flinching slightly, like he was ashamed of his absence. "I thought hearing that might cheer you up."

Heimdall was silent. She was telling the truth, that much he could see. It was in character anyway, she did plenty of things just to make him feel better. It was not something he needed to confirm with foresight. After losing a battle to keep a smile off his lips, he quipped back, "What makes you think that would do anything for me? It's unlike you to be so arrogant."

Eivor stopped playing again, rolling her eyes. "Even a grouch like you has to lighten up when they're told that they're missed, especially with an ego like yours."

There it was. No hiding behind excuses. The nonverbal confession was now spoken. She wasn't just making him feel better. It was so much more, and Heimdall had no idea how to respond.

Though there was another thing. There was something else there this time, something she was concealing, and the fact that she avoided looking at him proved as much. Yet he felt no need to question it. For once in his life he trusted someone enough to believe they weren't telling him something for a good reason. He wasn't sure if he thought as much because of how much time they had spent together or because knowing she truly did miss him left him incapable of maintaining his cynical mask.

"Or…" Eivor continued, breaking him out of his elation with a mischievous look, "maybe I knew why you were so upset."

The god next to her was not convinced. It was hard to be considering he wasn't even sure why he was so angry. "I doubt you do."

"You were jealous."

Heimdall scowled, feeling his gut wrench in disgust at the suggestion. "Me?" 

"Yes, you." So matter-of-fact that it agitated him to no end.

"That's ridiculous."

"It's really not."

"It really is."

"So you're telling me you didn't want to go with me? Instead of Thor?"

Heimdall sneered into the distance. Him? Jealous, and of Thor of all people? That was completely asinine. There was nothing for him to be jealous about. It really wasn't envy, it was…frustration. Yes, frustration that Thor had been sent to do a job that he was clearly ill suited for, was trusted with keeping Eivor safe when Heimdall knew damn well that he was the only one that was worthy of the responsibility. He was the only one who was worth her time and attention, the only one that deserved to be at her side. All others were so inferior compared to her, and as a result were unfit to work alongside her. She was so special, and that meant no other lowlife in the realms should have been sent to handle his duty to assist her, taking up time that he should be spending with her, keeping her safe, listening to her witty remarks, making her laugh, all while still finding out new things about her that somehow managed to impress him.

…that was jealousy, wasn't it? Had he been a fool he would continue to deny it, but even he had to admit that his thoughts were rather…possessive. Oddly enough, he didn't even notice that none of the things that made him jealous had anything to do with Odin changing his commands, or that his orders had been much more mundane compared to Thor's. 

"Thought so," Eivor said after he remained silent while thinking through the mess in his head. 

"I'm much better suited for any assignment Thor is given," he defended hastily, hating how feeble it was.

Eivor's eyebrows shot up and her grin grew wider. "Aaaaaand? What else?" With her green eyes on his he could tell she wanted him to admit it. 

That he missed her too. 

He could have voiced it, but something in him hesitated. Like he was scared. Of what, he didn't know. In the back of his mind the word "rejection" popped up, but that was stupid. She wasn't so foolish to think he wasn't good enough for her. No, she was too smart for that. Even so, he failed to bring his own admission forward. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He turned up his nose, looking as snooty as he sounded. 

He expected Eivor to be annoyed, maybe even disappointed at his lack of cooperation. But she wasn't. Instead she laughed, understanding that he just didn't want to put any of it into words. He had a habit of avoiding that, if her analysis of his notorious language was anything to go by. With a soft giggle she relented, "Alright, fine, I just won't talk about it then." 

Heimdall frowned at her, unhappy that she had implied he just wasn't addressing the subject because he didn't want to, not because there was nothing to discuss as he said. Which was true, but he didn't want her to make it known. This sour response died down too quickly when her eyes softened, a certain kind of fondness filling them. With that eye contact he could see it. She cherished these moments, valued these little things like they were the finest gems or the most potent powers in existence — no, more than that. Sitting here with him, even if he was stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the subjects that were right in front of them, meant more to her than life itself. She cherished every moment.

The wind blew just a bit, enough for the loose strands of her sandy hair to flutter across her face. As the stars danced in her eyes and her smile lit up the night like the sun brightened the day, he felt the words working their way up through his throat, ready to confess that he wished one of their last adventures outside of Asgard was not stolen from him. That those times were so, so precious to him.

Those words were swallowed as he looked away, knowing they would work their way back up if he kept examining her features. Any excuse, any comeback, anything at all that could be said to explain his silence failed him, leaving him with nothing to say at all. Eivor showed no sign of offense, accepting his wordless response without complaint. She took her eyes away from him, and before Heimdall could mourn the loss he felt her lean into his side, resting her head against his shoulder. 

He didn't mind at all, he thought with a tiny smile.

Muninn returned to Odin's underground lair, bringing back news of the outcome of his master's plan. Odin looked up from the green crack in the fabric of the realms as the raven flew by, holding out a hand for the bird to land on. His one eye scanned Muninn's, taking in the images he had brought back.

So Heimdall really was acting strangely. The poor, foolishly blind god of foresight had found something else to keep his attention.

This won't do. Heimdall was his. His to use, to command, and to throw away if it came down to it. Throwing him away, of course, would only come to pass if there was no other option, and this interference made that outcome more possible than he liked. It was unacceptable. Heimdall was far too valuable to take any risks.

Then again…Heimdall's loyalty was secure, of that he was certain. And Eivor was that type, the very same as his dear ex-wife, unable to ignore what they perceived was wrong once they knew it was there. Like his Vanir ex, she was likely to disagree with him at some point and work against him once that day eventually came. Power like Eivor's was something he needed to keep within his control. Letting it run wild — or worse, into the hands of his enemies, could spell disaster. He needed to keep her on his side when it came to the catastrophe that was Ragnarok. 

Odin donned a devilish smile. He had an idea.

Perhaps he should let this play out.

Muninn trilled at his master.

[adventuringblind]

Fic writer Interview!

Tagged by @lellabellas (sorry this took me like five million years T_T)

How many works do you have on AO3?

28

What's your total AO3 word count? 242,516... damn

(adding that with the stuff from tumblr would be ridiculous me thinks)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Stupid Alphas- (466)

Filled to the Brim with Your Love... (and other things but that's not the point) (434)

Pretty To Me (336)

My Demons (Are Begging Me to Open Up My Mouth) (297)

Do Andriods Have Dicks? (295)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

As much as I whine for attention and interaction... i'm really bad at responding to comments because I get overwhelmed. Like I do actually cry at shit because I'm a sensitive baby alright... I see them and I love them and I often go read them again and I'll answer questions if I see them but yeah-

I want to start responding but I just like... struggle.

(sorry T_T)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

um... I'm an angst writer primarily so this is a rough one.

So there is the classic 'everyone dies trope' that I've done in both Why are we always stuck and running (from The bullets, the bullet?) and I’ve dug two graves for us my dear. Both are angsty but the Loscar one is significantly less angsty in how Logan gets what is his definition of a happy ending where in the landoscar mafia one that was them going out together because they couldn't be apart which to me, after all they'd been through, felt harsher.

do Androids Have Dicks I also deem as angsty because it's not a happy ending. It's open for interpretation for what happens after Oscar is free to do as he pleases within the android laws... but at the same time he isn't considered a person anymore. He's left stuck between being treated like the Android he is and wanting to be more. At the same time though he's not got any obligations and can learn to live. Take that how you will...

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

(Well fuck me too for this one-)

I'm going to say Probably what will be the ending for My Demons because Jos hate always slaps

Do you write crossovers?

Depends on what it is... Like I did the DBH au but i'm not sure if that is considered a crossover?

I'd be willing to think about it if i liked the idea enough but it's just not something I really vibe on most occasions.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes.

It's probably well out there by now that I stopped writing reader inserts for the most part because I it was a daily thing. I was waking up to people in my inbox and dm's saying I was disgusting. A lot of it also was geared towards how I shouldn't write about trauma I don't know about. Which... it sucks when you spend a good chunk of your life begging for people to believe you and not victim blame. I write because it's how I cope and it hurt that people were assuming I didn't know what I was talking about.

I still get anxious writing stuff that is out there but I have a good support system now who has been really encouraging!

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hahahahahahahahahahahaha...................um-

The degenerate kind? The dom Oscar kind? Idk on this one y'all

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep! One of my reader inserts ended up on wattpad but it got taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if anyone ever wanted to do it i'd be so down!

It was an idea at with a friend at one point to turn fics into audio books. As someone who does use screen readers sometimes, it's rough for fics because it sounds all robotic. There is ZERO emotion. Not sure that counts as a translation but it was a fleeting thought at one point.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically but my beta reader loves me and I give her credit for many of the ideas :))

What's your all-time favorite ship?

landoscar 100000%

they intrigue and endear me to no end. I fear I may never love another at this rate.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably this one fic I started that's a/b/o with omega Lando who is born into a trafficking ring, saved by Max F years later and finds Oscar who was the original target when they got Max F...

Lots of angst and Lando learning to be a person

What are your writing strengths?

A N G S T

But also world building for me is a lot of fun! It's the details that maybe are miniscule to the reader but mean a lot to me when setting up how things work and the rules of the universe.

What are your writing weaknesses?

F L U F F

Endings... I can never find a good stopping point and will just keep going which is why sometimes my fics just trail off into the void of weird dialouge.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

depending on how it's done I think it's fine. I am a sucker for pet names in the native tongue and characters who gradually pick up on the languageafter being around someone for so long.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Would you believe me if I said Destiny 2?

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Logan/Alex/George because I have no idea but the thought of them endears me.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

At the moment it's Do Androids Have Dicks because I had so much fun writing it! I sometimes get lost in all the little things of fics but this one was just me and my angst having a blast!

I will say the The Heartstring Theory, which is the WIP that i've been working on the most and promoting, is my favorite thing of all time. It's one that I'm excited to share but am waiting until I get it all written to share it.