#I still need to take some ibuprofen tho

[thats-how-i-like-it]

I just got one of my wisdom teeth removed 👍 (and I got my new glasses!!)

[rockandrolldisgrace]

im so tired after 2day but im still going to the concert

[phagodyke]

my god. new contender for most shite day at work this year so far

another morning another free bus journey..

[illubean]

Valorant Protocol as Highschool Stereotypes

Characters: Chamber, Gekko, Iso, Jett, Killjoy, Neon, Phoenix, Raze, Sage, Skye, Viper, Yoru Type: Headcanons

HAHA help me valorant brainrot >.< also this is based off of my hs experience soooo yeah

Warnings: none

Chamber

your typical pretty boy

all the girls love him all the boys hate him

well...most of the girls love him

they follow him around to classes or offer him gifts or ask to sit with him at lunch etc.

and he eats up the attention every time

he's lab partners with Viper in Environmental Sciences and he likes trying to flirt with her

she actually hates him btw

Gekko

canonically he skateboards

but honestly? I can see him being on the dance team

he's so high energy, he needs some sort of outlet

he never misses an opportunity to show off his dance moves

homecoming? prom? he is the center of the dance circle

like Raze, he doesn't know how popular he is

he's just happy to have so many good friends that it doesn't even actually occur to him that he's considered "popular"

Iso

he's an ap art kid

like he walks around with a big ass sketchbook every day

always talking about his portfolio

Iso baby ily but please shut the fuck up about oil paints <3

he probably volunteered part of his summer break to come in and paint a mural for the school

I think he'd also take a piano class as like a schedule filler but he actually gets crazy good at it

Jett

pe tryhard

if you end up on the opposite team as her while playing dodge ball good luck 😓

she's always picked as team captain because literally no one else is excited as she is

she's sorta like Hairo from Saiki K 💀

she gets a lil mad when her teammates don't try

Killjoy

she's in robotics club

she's not very popular but that doesn't bother her at all

she heads straight to and from every class and spends her lunch period in the workshop unless Raze drags her off somewhere

not a lot of people actually know who she is, and if they do they just know her as 'Raze's Friend'

i think she'd remind the teacher about the homework and hit you with the "erm actually 🤓" tbh

Neon

she's on track and field/cross country

after every meet you can find her laying on the floor somewhere ready to puke bc she tries so hard to win 😭

she always ends up top 5 tho

she complains about practice but joins the team every year anyways

she carries her bag around all the time and if you open it there's like 10 water bottles in there

#hydratedqueen

Phoenix

theater kid DUHH

he's probably drama club president or sumn

bro will NOT let go of a specific song from a musical he was in his freshman year and it wasn't even his song 💀

he's been in every show every year and somehow he manages to land every role he wants

he's insanely good at the game 'bang' (mostly because he's louder than everyone else...)

he probably plans/hosts the cast parties too

Raze

she doesn't care much about her grades

she does the bare minimum and gets straight Cs

she's just here to have fun

everyone likes her because of her approachable personality

she doesn't think she's popular but she is

Sage

she's in the medical assistant class

she takes it very seriously, as she plans on going to medical school

even before taking the class she carries a first aid kit and other essentials everywhere she goes

you need a bandaid? ibuprofen? a pad or tampon? she has it all

she's also ASB president

school events literally would not be able to run without her

lets just say her college applications/resume will look REALLY good...

Skye

she also took medical assistant but was less crazy about it than Sage

she just follows her friend's lead

she thinks the skills are useful but she doesn't see herself making it her career

but also I think she would play volleyball

she's a well rounded player but specializes most in defense

still, don't underestimate her bc this girl can SPIKE

Viper

she took every ap science class offered without taking the general ones first

she complains about getting any grade below an A...

"What are you talking about? That test was easy"

sorry not everyone is as smart as you Sabine 😑

she spends all her free time at chem tutoring (even though she doesn't need it)

Yoru

he thinks he looks cool and mysterious when he walks down the halls but he doesn't

everyone just thinks his mad all the time and stay out of his way 😭

randos try to pick fights with him bc he "looked at them wrong" (Yoru wins every time)

he's not exactly a 'quiet kid' but he does lay low when it comes to the social part of school

despite his 'bad boy' look, he has pretty good grades

he's also probably one of those guys that a handful of girls have a crush on but he has no idea

[rinsuniverse]

[10:06]

imagining woozi annoying you!

no matter how understanding or straightforward he is, if you're really dating him, he's gonna annoy the shit out of you sometimes

when you're crying laughing at something he said, he'd be pointing at you, mocking your laughing sobs and then laughing himself

on your period, he'd make fun of your suffering over the phone since hes so busy (he finds other's inconveniences HILARIOUS), but still would take care of you by keeping ibuprofens and advils in stock at his studio and your home or texting you periodically to take another dose or check on you

side-note: he'd def keep a box of feminine belongings, painkillers, your extra clothes, and stuff hidden in his studio for when you visit, but def gatekeep that information from you annoyingly (type to be like "oh, you need a pad? that really sucks. i guess i can look around in case you left one at some point" "jihoon i dont just leave shit around like that" "wow, would you look at that, here's a couple i just found.")

imagine you're at an award show of his and your formal shoes are literally KILLING you

the show's already ended and you're backstage with seventeen, awkwardly shifting your weight on each foot to relieve the pain

woozi's taking his sweet time, not in a rush to go home or anything

after talking with vernon and soonyoung for a bit, he turns to you and notices you shifting your weight

he's holding back a laugh as he says "are you good there?"

"yeah, my feet just hurt"

he's laughing at you right now bffr

"jihoon, don't laugh at my pain!!!" you say, laughing with him

"should i take my shoes off??"

"i mean, yeah sure," he says, but he's not done annoying you. "everyone's gonna see your toes."

"jihoon, what the hell?!"

he's still laughing so hard

when you do take off your shoes, he takes a picture

and you insist you'll just wear the shoes and suffer because of that

but he does settle down and tell everyone he's heading home early

he'll let you walk barefoot

if you continue to be upset about your bare feet, he'll take off his socks and give them to you, wearing his shoes without socks even tho he doesnt like to do that

holding onto your shoes for you and guiding you to where you need to be so you dont step on anything

one last scenario of jihoon being adorably annoying to you

you're at his studio, insisting you'll stay up late so you can go home together

but it'd like 3am and your eyes are feeling heavy

"you better not be falling asleep, y/n"

"what? me? never."

"if you do, i'm not waking you up. you're sleeping here."

"come onnn, you wouldn't leave me"

"you never know"

after a minute, he hears soft snores coming from the couch, and he's laughing to himself, finding it very funny

he takes multiple pics of you

he def has a private album in his phone of embarrassing/funny pictures of you

but besides that, he does end up putting a blanket over you before quickly finishing up his work

he does wake you up and supports you physically as you sleepily head home with him

he loves you so much, but with that love comes his seemingly endless teasing! 🤍

(p.s. requests are now open! ς(>‿<.))

[mushstump]

More Clove x Fade bc I want to write more about them. Also ship name?

First talks Fade and Clove

It would be some months after Clove entered in the Protocol bc Fade is Fade, it would take a while for her warm up for Clove. Neon has a comment saying Clove stays up very late at night. So they could start talking and making a friendship in one of these midnight talks.

(Clove saw the beautiful goth girl making coffee at 3am and they decided that she could use some company)

"You know, you could die if you don't get enough sleep" Clove said in their cheerful way, holding back the laugh, but releasing a mischieveous smile.

"So do you" Fade response came without looking who it was, in her lack of sleep mist she didn't even recognized the voice.

"I did in fact died of this one time. I don't recommend" Clove responded still smiling, not holding their laugh this time after seeing Fade turn back surprised by who she was talking too.

"Uh?! Oh, it's you" Fade said in a tired voice, her body was still tense, Clove could notice, even tho Fade looked like she was trying her best for not being perceptive.

"Yeah, the rookie. How u been?"

"Fine. Why are you awake?"

"I was watching videos and I wanted a snack. What do you have there?" Clove pointed at the mug Fade was holding. They knew damn well what was in, but they wanted talk more with Fade. Who can blame them? A misterious woman, who not many people in the protocol likes. Clove wanted to know more about her.

"Uh...coffee. Do you want some...?" Fade looked almost shy (or maybe Clove was looking to much of it), reticent, but still nice enough to offer.

"Yeah, but with some snacks! No escape for you! You look like someone who needs biscuits, or an ibuprofen"

Fade looked at the strange person in front of her, colorful and full of joy. Normally, she would reject the offer, but something in the eyes of the immortal made her knew that it would be a lost battle. She sighed, looking briefly at her mug still full of coffee.

"Fine"

And this was their first real conversation, and these little snack times at night quickly became more often.

[izzy-b-hands]

Feeling slightly better than i have been at this moment (hence being on Tumblr for more than a half second before my body goes 'hm, actually, that's too much. put the phone down or i make u throw up 🥰' as it has been all week since this back pain bullshit began

(more blathering abt this stuff and work and just. general life update as of this week below the cut)

But realised that's probably only bc:

-Housemate (who has been an absolute angel thru all of this and has looked after me better than my own mother ever has tbh), got me some Pedialyte style drinks, and I've made it thru nearly all of one today (a miracle bc the nausea has otherwise been constant even when the pain isn't as bad and has made eating more than like. broth and saltines and gummy edibles basically impossible)

-Im stoned, on a increasing rotation of meds (acetaminophen, ibuprofen, mucinex which it turns out has potential off label use for muscle spasms, as Housemate researched and found out, edibles, magnesium, and now ginger pills to help the nausea) all of which im grateful for but combined leave me feeling less in pain but a bit. idk. blah? brain foggy, more than usual? Tbh it's probably the pain making the brain fog, the pills just can't do anything for that and i don't fault them for that, but for a brain fog example, I've been trying to place an order for some local chocolates to ship to my mum for mother's day, and legit it's taken me ALL WEEK just to get the site open, to the shipping menu, and just today actually putting things in the cart, but I haven't managed to check out yet bc just getting the cart together that made me feel like i needed a nap. This post is the longest thing I've typed in days, and I'm struggling rn to keep going..But i started it, so we're finishing it, back spasm at a level 4 of pain be damned

-and im doing basically nothing aside from stretches (gentle yoga ones i already know the forms for, and some pilates gentle type things i remember from when mum joined that fad lol), using one of our wand vibes on my back (never had done before, they actually do work for that too! kinda fun to find out, just wish i hadn't found out like this!!), laying on a heating pad and wedge pillow, and trying to nap (bc the pain is worse at night so I've somehow been sleeping even worse than i usually tend to)while YT videos and/or the 1973 JCS plays on repeat.

I mention all this bc i work this weekend, and i don't want to have to call out for the first shift tonight. but like. if im struggling just to type this post up (nvm that i have my zine checkin to finish and send in as well, if Nads or anyone else from the group reads this pls know i will make sure i have it done by the due date! it's just been taking. longer, with this back pain mess), keeping my brain on track is difficult rn (as evidenced by...this entire post), and my back is starting to twinge up to a 3-4 overall already bc i let the heating pad turn off, thinking that maybe, just maybe, if I'm feeling okay enough to be on Tumblr then maybe that's a sign this is finally over, and my back is done making life miserable...

then maybe work isn't a great idea. but it scares me every time i have to call in (and I've tried not to unless i absolutely had to, but they're very particular abt ppl basically never calling out, so i know that even if they acknowledged i sounded as sick as i was, that doesn't mean this wouldn't be reason enough to fire me)

I just don't know what to do. i want to work. i want to make money. i also don't want to have to mute my mic bc my back spasms hard enough to make me vomit tho, and that's unfortunately still a very real possibility (spent entirely too much of this week throwing up from the pain tbh!!! not happy abt it, i do not like being sick like that, for any reason!!) The last reason makes me think calling out is the right thing. but. i have a few hours yet, so im gonna see how it goes, acknowledging that i probably do need to call out, whether i like it or not

(if for nothing else, to maybe be recovered for my first set of doubles on Sunday)

[toinfinitywinning]

it’s been a Long time. Maybe I’ve been lazy. Not really. No offense but a daily blog kinda is like but have you slept since the last one? I know a lot can change in 24 hours though. But anyway I can’t think of anything better to do than to try to write about pain at the same time I’m experiencing my worst. Where, ibuprofen and Tylenol rebound and youre left with a parallel to someone taking antibiotics when they’re not needed over and over to where eventually just quit taking it. You’ve expired it, gone the opposite Way. But ain’t that a Bitch tho. Please help us.

At this point Covid took me hostage for potentially the rest of my Life. No hyperbole. For the Second time in about 10 days I have wept and wept in immense, indescribable Pain you only know if you’ve also experienced constant Chronic Pain. Hard crying helps take in some endorphins but then I get another Headache so it’s just all Fucked -that’s the word, the only appropriate word for my currency. And, the best endorphin in some cases. Carries its own presence. Idk if this writing is helpful or not LOL.

I certainly don’t write for pity. It is just the truth that any contact is exhausting and can cost me. From seeing my family? Working? Hiking? A roller coaster? Anything like what would gentry do? TBH idk what it’s costing right now b/c I’m already spent. Then I’m like that is the most selfish thing ever. Then I’m also like I have to be selfish some to stay sane. I write to Connect. I think I can count on like 5-7 fingers having cried like this.

Even after all the …stuff I’ve been through. Mom reminded me of the endorphins potentially available when you cry like that. How tragic we’re desperate enough at times to attach a good feeling to something so terrible while you’re crying trying to pocket some b/c there’s certainly no sunshine in the other one.. B/c Exercise or exertion aren’t options. In a sense I like give the computer sheet of paper my Pain and when I hit Post it should all Go away until it says successful. Then I close my iPad b/c my eyes hurt.

Like most people with a 180 life spin you’ve most likely not seen it coming—for me, Especially after conquering so much and finally being in a Good place and looking up up for the first time in a long time. I’m still mad about that. Angry really. It’s unfair but even my situation is in isolation. It’s possible somebody in Singapore is feeling the same Pain. Or I think I went too far, China. +, we are bonding over this!

It’s not just the positive interactions and experiences we find solace in. I can’t get through this alone and putting my pride aside has been a difficult task I’ve pretty much holstered. I’m not much for a Group Project ever b/c I usually End up doing it all anyway or sitting in a circle with toilet paper with adjectives but that all we’ve got in a sense. Most of us used to be able to say headache or Migraine and a few hours to 48 hours it’s usually passed. That was me. Every Day it’s just Deep in my bones. My bones that hurt. That cry out and are dry and dancing. Get me there.

Anyone is sure welcome to share their story. The loneliness that is already a different one might feel more insulated. And, I’m sorry, sorry you’re dealing with w/e it might be. That’s the circle of metal chairs you’ll probably only find in Baptist churches I should be looking for.

Can we have Faith without Faith in that? I thought I Left seminary. Ah geez.

I gotta Go.

[kirkped]

Recently a call out post has been made about me and I am going to go over the stuff mentioned in the post.

I do have to put this disclaimer, but I’m sure some of you already know that I am severely mentally ill and live in a very hostile environment and this was and still is the case for all these points while I was 11-12 while most of this happened. Of course I am not using this as an excuse for my terrible actions but I feel like this is important to know in some context.

I do also have to mention that I have no access to psychiatric help and my medicine, which I need. Due to my guardian refusing to get me psychiatric help because she believes that the reason I am mentally ill is because I am brainwashed into thinking that I am ill. So at the moment I have no way of receiving help so the only way I keep myself occupied from all the bad things happening to me in real life Is through the internet so I can escape from reality which is why I will say that I will not leave the internet, I will only not be active on my social media accounts. I really wish I could properly step away from the internet but I am afraid this is not possible at the moment since the internet is the only way I can communicate with people. Again I will emphasize that I am not using this as an excuse for my actions. I will now go over the stuff.

Firstly I would like to talk about the racism and racefaking.

At the time I thought being edgy like that was hilarious, and being an edgelord 11-year-old I did some really awful things like saying the n-word which I can’t reclaim since I am fully Asian. But during that time I heard from somewhere claiming that it was okay for middle easterners to say the n word and claim to be black since “they have African blood in them”, you can see how ridiculous that sounds, but I was very gullible so I actually believed that and went around saying I was black, when in fact I was not.

In early 2022 is when I realized that what I was doing was wrong but I was too scared to tell my friends at the time because I was scared of them getting mad at me so I just lied. I wish I could to apologize to those friends who I deceived but I don’t think I have the chance. And I really regret what I’ve done to this day, and I now understand what I’ve done.

Next up, me abusing someone. I will go over our relationship.

Me and him first began dating back in mid-January 2023, when I was 12 and he was a month away from being 14.

Things pretty much went alright until it was his birthday. One thing I need to mention is that I have BPD and I am not using it as an excuse but I feel like it could explain my behaviors then. He was my FP [Favorite Person. Pretty much someone who PwBPD can’t live without] and I was very dependent on him so even tho a day before his birthday he did say he would be busy but that still sent me spiraling because I wanted to be with him all the times or I felt like he disliked me and I was scared being without him so I got mad when he wouldn’t answer. Which I know is an asshole move on my part and for that I am sorry, I should’ve just accepted that he was going to be busy rather getting mad at him for something he had no control of. Our relationship just kept deteriorating because of my poor ability to regulate my BPD symptoms at the time. I had no idea how to control myself nor how to cope properly with such things so I would end up splitting on him a few times due just how overwhelmed I would be in general and I was really mad that the relationship was going nowhere I was scared of losing him I didn’t know what to do to prevent him from abandoning.

It was one day when I was in a manic episode I decided I would “test people to see if they actually cared about me” which ended up in me writing a suicide note and sending it to multiple people. To be honest that day I did take a bunch of ibuprofen tablets, I think it was a whole box of them. You cannot overdose on ibuprofen but if you do take a lot you will be sick, which is what happened to me I would keep throwing up and I had to visit the hospital because I was awfully sick, I don’t remember how the visit went to be honest. But I still feel really bad for scaring them like that and deeply regret doing that.

Next I’m going over me not respecting boundaries

I have issues having to adapt to other boundaries in general I don’t know what the explanation could be for that.

I also tend to block evade because I just have this constant desire to make amends with him, I just am really desperate to try and prove myself that I am not a horrible person in general so I do anything to try and make things better between us. Which is bad because I just can’t seem to leave him alone no matter what due to just how desperate I am to try and improve things. So I am trying to slowly work on that.

To be honest I don’t know why I keep trying to get him to see that I am getting better despite it being the opposite, my mental health only keeps deteriorating more and more because my main focus in life is just to try and get him to forgive me even tho there’s no chance of that happening from what I think.

I think that I am just going to accept that he is moving on from me and distance myself because this whole thing took a huge toll on my health in general too and I want to get better I don’t want to be a horrible person but again I am not sure if I’ll ever get better. Not using this as an excuse for my actions again

And lastly

I am actively trying to get better but it’s just difficult with the environment I am in, I really am trying my best so please forgive me if I still make any mistakes and feel free to call me out on that I will listen and try to change. I am really sorry for all my actions and those I’ve hurt and the effects I’ve had on them.

I will be abandoning this account and it’s only going to be still up because I can’t delete it due to it being attached to an email I don’t have access to.

If you would like to discuss with me about anything I am available at @giantisopodic on discord since i wont be using this account anymore

Thank you for reading and goodbye.

- Xóchitl

[oh-yes-i-did-not]

Okay so the move went relatively well. I did end up having to take way too much ibuprofen so my knees would keep bending and working while going up and down the stairs way too many times so I developed in inflamed esophagus, one of the greatest joys of having GERD. All the anti-inflammatory painkillers are real bad for heartburn tendency, GERD, ulcers etc but also, sometimes the only thing that works. Luckily pantoprazol still works super well for me so it only knocked me down for two days. Which was actually super okay because my knees were also super wrecked and needed that time spent mostly in bed, doing nothing but reading. I read Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao and the entirety of Mars by Fuyumi Soryo.

I’ve been slowly unpacking the boxes and just did the last rented box from the moving company today, so yay~ I still have most of the cardboard boxes to unpack but those can wait, the I needed the ones on running tariff out of here asap.

I still only have a mobile internet since the new computer doesn’t have a wireless adapter and I don’t have an ethernet cable long enough to set up my router through the modem, which is solidly located on the wall, near the ceiling of the entrance. I am not about to put my computer desk next the front door, thank you very much. I’m probably just gonna get that wi-fi adapter anyways, since there really is no good setup for a long cable in this apartment. It will end up passing through some bad places, no matter what way, so I would prefer not to.

Without Internet the new computer is pretty much useless, since I still plan to downgrade it to Win10 so I haven’t installed anything except Firefox and Steam. So in the meantime, I’m on the ancient office laptop I borrowed from partner. It may choke if I have more than 2 video tabs open and more than 10 tabs in general, but it runs the new Glass Masquerade game that was just released (if nothing more than that) so I’m good for now.

It currently looks like this:

I have an air mattress since I need to buy a new bed and it’s trickier than you would expect when you move to a tiny town and you don’t have a car. It’s really comfy though, I was surprised! Also, I got the expensive armchair in the separation so it’s now my one true luxury :D It was going to be a nice console gaming chair but now it will be more properly used as a reading chair.

The kitchen/living room windows are really big and let in a lot of light so it’s a good crafting space. You can actually see a line on the entrance cabinets on the opposite wall, where the light has hit for years. The lower portion of the doors is more yellow, thanks to the sun.

I also have a third desk that I was going to set up in front of the window but... I think no. It’s an old Ikea Vika Blecket drawing table with light box window, and now has new Vika Artur legs. The original leg were also Vika Artur and my late cat destroyed them with pee while they were lying dismantled on the floor. That model still exist, tho the design has changed and they’re not exactly compatible with old Vika desks anymore so I can’t change the angle of desk anymore since the pegs that are supposed to support the desk do not match anymore, which sucks. That, along with the light box glass was one of the things that made this desk super good for it’s cheap price tag back then. Anyways, I think I’m just gonna keep the desk and the legs hanging around for when I need extra table space, like cutting large fabrics, but I’m not gonna keep it set up. It would make things just too cramped in here.

Anyways, I still have so many boxes to unpack and I still need to hang curtains to the living room, or should I say crafts room, and what even are carpets, but it’s going well.

[queerplatonic-sculder]

my gum surgery went well. i needed it to fix the gum recession on one of my front teeth on the bottom row. what they did was (tw talk of mouth surgery) ||take some skin(?) from the left side of my palate and used it as a graft for the exposed part of the tooth; they stitched it on there. also i think they cut away the frenulum there bc it was attached to my gum right near the tooth with the recession.|| my mouth is sore now though. 😅 they gave me a prescription for some ibuprofen which we dropped off on the way home and my mom just went back out to pick it up. my mom gave me some tylenol in the meantime but it still hurts pretty bad. 😅 but yeah, it went well.

also, when we got home the power was back on. 🥳 hopefully it stays. (i think we're getting another snowstorm tomorrow tho...)

[pupcrimes]

my back is FUCKING killing me but g-d it was so worth it.

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

The Story of You

And so our journey has come to an end 😭😭 I hope this ending makes your hearts happy as it did with mine 🥺 as always, come talk to me about what you thought of this chapter 🥰 All the love 🤍 Mar

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

Part 20: New Beginnings Part Two

December 14, 2021

Harry. New York, New York. 5:15 PM

Y/N and Pip were taking a nap when the Rowlands arrived, which was convenient because little man had fallen asleep on the way here too; Sarah and Mitch had helped me set everything up for dinner, meanwhile my family had arrived, along with Harry, Glenne, and Jeff, we were sitting in the living room when Y/N appeared from her room.

Everyone greeted her excitedly and she waved, and said hello to everyone, Sarah then pulled her to seat next to her, “Where’s Pippa?”, Y/N pulled out the monitor from her sweater, “Still asleep, she ate at four so she will probably wake up soon”, I walked up to her and handed her a mug with some tea, she smiled and thanked me.

We talked for a little while until we heard a whimper from my room where Mitch had set the baby for his nap, he stood up and made his way to get him, my mum made her way to where Y/N and Sarah were sitting and handed her a plate with some fruit and toast, I could hear her tell her she needed the extra calories, Y/N nodded as my mum kissed her forehead.

Mitch came out with baby Rowland who made grabby arms towards his mum, Mitch placed the baby on her lap, and he then made grabby hands to Y/N, Y/N grabbed his hand and kissed it, the baby let out a little cry, clearly making sure we knew he was not happy with just holding her hand, Y/N tsked before pouting, Sarah laughed and kissed her son’s head before telling him, “Bubbie your auntie can’t hold you yet huh?”

Everyone in the room awed as the little boy settled on his mum’s lap and grabbed Y/N’s hands, Glenne and Gemma came out of the kitchen after helping me plate everything we had ordered, an alarm on my clock let me know I should ask her if she wanted any pain meds, I walked to where she was and crouched in front of her

“Lovie, how is your pain? Want any Ibuprofen?”, she shook her head, “I’m okay, thank you tho”, I nodded and stood up, out of the corner of my eye I saw Jeff grab his phone and furrow his brows before making his way to the kitchen, I don’t know why, but I followed him, when I entered the kitchen, he was on the phone with someone,

“Shit… have they said anything else?”, he turned and gave me an apprehensive look, my anxiety was rushing, he sighed, “I’ll talk to them, no yeah, thanks for letting me know”, he hung up and I bit my nails before asking him, “What happened?”, he sighed, “Uhm, I think we should discuss this with Y/N”, I nodded and followed him to the living room

I went and squeezed her hand, and she gave me a small smile, “Hey, can we talk?”, she furrowed her brows and nodded, she stood up and I placed my hand on the small of her back, we walked to where Jeff was standing in the hall, “I’m sorry, I really don’t want to ruin this, but Tom just called me and let me know you guys were on Deux Moi”

My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach, and I squeezed Y/N’s arm, she raised her hand and spoke up, “I think this is a perfect chance to talk to everyone, no?”, I nodded, and we made our way back to the living room where everyone smiled, Y/N sat down on her place again and I sat down next to her on the floor.

Jeff took a seat on the armchair where Glenne was seated and cleared his throat, “Well, H and Y/I wanted to share and discuss a situation with their closest friends and family”, everyone turned to see us worriedly and I nodded at Jeff so he could continue talking, “Deux Moi posted two blind submissions about them today; one related to him and Olivia’s break up, submitted by a person who worked at the last concert”

There was a grumble around the room before he continued, “And the other about someone spotting us at the hospital, which was then backed up by someone who heard Anne on the phone”, my mum turned to look at us with a sad smile, “I’m sorry lovies I didn’t mean for this to happen”, Gemma squeezed her hand while Y/N shook her head

“Anne don’t fret, please”, she sighed and turned to see everyone around the room, “We knew this would happen eventually; right now, we are in a position where we can manage and control it”, she then turned to look at me, I smiled back at her, Jeff cleared his throat, “What do you guys want to do?”

I sat up straighter, “I won’t address the breakup, that was something I agreed with Olivia”, he nodded, “As for Pippa’s birth”, I sighed and Y/N squeezed my shoulder, “We have decided to post a picture from my account, we have still to figure out what information to share, I just wish we could’ve keep her our little secret for a while longer”, everyone nodded in agreement while Y/N cleared her throat

“We… uhm we know there is another elephant in the room, and we know you guys are dying to ask”, everyone around had looks of curiosity, weariness and also looks of ‘I know where you are heading’, I squeezed her hand in encouragement

“We are a family, and I, personally, am so grateful to share so much with you guys, and we know that a way to share these things is through taking pictures and when you want to, uploading them to social media; we don’t expect you to stop doing so because that would be selfish of us, but we need to protect our baby just like Mitch and Sarah protect baby Rowland”

I kissed her knee before speaking up, “Some of us here have private Instagram accounts, and we don’t mind if you post pictures of Pippa there, but we also know that some of us have public accounts, so if you guys want to post pictures of her please just don’t post her face, we want for that to be her choice someday, and as her parents it is our duty to protect her”

Everyone nodded and smiled, my mum spoke up, “So, can I post something?”, we both nodded, “Just, please let us post the picture to H’s profile first”, Gemma then asked, “When will you post it?”, I turned to look at Y/N, “I think we will do it later, we know what picture we want to post”, everyone smiled at us, a whimper from the monitor had Y/N standing up

“I’ll go get her”, I stood up and followed her to the room, when we came in Pip was just waking up and wiggling, Y/N reached in to grab her, “Good morning baby, why are you so sad hm? Are you sad you are missing the party?”, she kissed her head and settled her on her arms, I went to kiss her forehead, “Do you want me to change her nappy?”

Y/N nodded and transferred the baby to my arms, while I changed Pippa’s diaper, she folded the blankets and turned off the monitor, we had changed her from her coming home outfit and into a little romper, we swaddled her again and I handed her back to Y/N and we started making our way to the living room.

When we entered everyone smiled and Sarah tapped baby Rowland’s hand to get his attention, “Look bubby! It’s your cousin!”, Y/N smiled, and she slowly made her way to sit next to Sarah, Mitch then cleaned his son’s hand with a wipe and said, “Careful with the baby, okay? You need to be soft”, when she sat down, she turned her body three quarters so the baby could see Pippa before speaking up

“This is Pippa, she is your cousin! What do you think honey?”, Rowland number three looked at the baby apprehensively before trying to pat Pippa, out of instinct Sarah grabbed his hand and helped him pat her belly before cooing, “Aww you’re so sweet with the baby, darling, thank you for being so sweet”, Little Rowland gave us a smile with his binky and everyone awed, the baby then turned to see Pippa and pulled his binkie from his mouth and tried to give it to her who already had a binky, I smiled

“Thank you, little man”, he gave me his binky and then he leaned to rest his head on her belly, Glenne took the chance to take some pictures of them, she spoke up, “Let’s take a picture of the two families”, after taking some pictures she instructed for others to pose for photos, after taking the photos my mum said dinner was ready and we went to eat.

December 14, 2021

New York, New York. 10:00 PM

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t mind”, I smiled at Anne before squeezing her hand, “We’re sure, thank you for offering tho”, she nodded and hugged me, “Please call me if you need anything okay?”, I nodded, Gemma then came to hug me and kissed my temple, “Welcome home mumma”, I smiled and squeezed her before pulling back.

After dinner all our guests left except for family, I went into the nursery to feed Pippa, but she really wasn’t hungry, which had me thinking she would definitely be hungry a little earlier and that would maybe give us a bigger stretch of sleep, after saying goodbye to everyone Harry walked them out and I sat down on the couch, Pippa was settled on her Dock a Tot next to me.

Harry appeared on the hallway and gave me a smile, “Do you want some tea and cookies? I bought some special breastfeeding tea for you”, I nodded in appreciation before clearing my throat, “Harry?”, he appeared on the door, “Yeah?”, “Can I talk to you?”, he nodded and sat down on the foot of the couch, “Everything okay?”

I sighed, “I’ve been thinking of how I ran into Elisa the other day, and her face… I cannot stop thinking about it”, he nodded, “Something tells me there is more, a reason as to why she reacted like that”, he cleared his throat, “I’m here whatever you need”, I grabbed his hand, “I wanna talk to her, I need to know what happened H”

Harry smiled, “And I fully support any decision you make, okay?”, the teapot started whirring and he got up to go to the kitchen, I grabbed Pippa who started stirring, after settling her on my chest I reached in for my cellphone and started looking for my sister’s contact.

The phone rang for a few seconds, my heart was beating erratically, Pippa made a little grunt which had me patting her bum hoping she would calm down, although I really wanted to hear her voice, deep down I was hoping she wouldn’t answer.

After nine rings there was a beep, followed by her voicemail message, Hi! I’m sorry I could not answer your call, if you feel like it, please leave a message, if not you can try again, if I don’t answer again, maybe I don’t want to talk to you, I laughed as there was another beep

“Hi Ellie, it’s me Y/N”, I laughed a little, “I don’t know why I felt the need to say that, listen… I wanted to apologize for the other day, I guess… I was shocked, but deep down it made me really happy to see you”, I sniffled, “I kinda wished you would have answered, but I know I wouldn’t have had the courage to say what I wanted to say”

“I would really like to see you, to talk about everything, and I would love for you to meet my baby”, I smiled when I looked at Pippa, “I have a little girl Ellie, I have never felt this happy, I didn’t know I needed her, she’s the love of my life”, I cleared the tears that had fallen, “So yeah, call me, I really would love to see you”

I hung up the phone and let out a shuddering breath, I kissed Pippa’s head, “Everything will be alright lovie, I promise you”, Harry appeared holding a tray and he set it on the coffee table, I thanked him when he handed me the mug and I took a sip, we sat there in silence for a few until Harry spoke to me

“Penny for your thoughts?”, I laughed a little, “I’m sorry”, I kissed Pippa’s head, “But how about we put her to bed and then we can talk?”, he nodded and we made our way to my room, while I changed her diaper and pajamas Harry pulled the sleep sack and brought it to me, I then placed her little Owlet and closed her pajamas and swaddled her in her sleep sack.

Harry turned on the monitor and sound machine and made his way to where I kept the little changing station in my room, he grabbed Pippa and kissed her forehead and swayed a little, I took this chance to go into the kitchen and bring the little snack bin Anne had made for me along with my two Yetis to my room.

My heart swelled when I heard Harry hum to Pippa, after placing everything on my nightstand he handed me the baby and I kissed her head before placing her on her bassinet, we turned off the lights and turned on the night lamp, grabbed the monitor, closed the door, and headed out back.

Harry went to the kitchen to refill our mugs and came back into the living room, I took a sip before speaking up, “So… are you giving me my penny now or later?”, he laughed and placed his mug on the table before turning a little to give me his attention, “I’m all ears”, I gave him a small smile

“I really don’t know where to begin”, he grabbed my hand, “This last year and a few has been crazy for both of us, hasn’t it?”, he nodded and kissed my hand, “But it has been so worth it hasn’t it?”, I smiled I little, “It has for sure”,  he squeezed my hand, “But…”, I laughed, “How did you know?”, he shrugged, “I know you”

I laughed a little and sniffled, he furrowed his brows, “Lovie, what’s wrong?”, I whimpered, “I’m sorry”, “What for?”, I let out a shuddering breath, “You know I love you, and I haven’t stopped, not since the moment you stole my heart and begged me five times to go out with you”, I let out a wet chuckle and he did too

“But you also broke my heart Harry, and so many things surged from that; insecurities, doubts, anger, God I was so angry at you, but I was even angrier at me, because I let my heart in the open and heeded any warning”, he sniffled too, “Y/N…”, “And the we met by chance in LA, and I thought things were going to be okay between us”

“But you still left the next morning, and just left a note saying it was a mistake”, “Because I was scared Harry, I was terrified because everything was so familiar, but you were with Olivia, and everything seemed lovely between you two”, he nodded, “Do you know how hard it actually was to come back to New York and realize I was alone? That the man I loved had changed me for another woman?”, he shook his head

“And then Pippa showed up, and she brought with her a crazy ride and somehow we have made things work between us”, I turned to see the monitor, “And here we are today, and I am still crazy in love with you”, I ran my hand down his cheek, he sniffled, kissed my palm, and whispered to my hand, “As I am with you”

I sniffled, “It has been hard for me to understand and remember that, because deep down I still fear that one day you will wake up and leave me again, and I fear that I won’t be as strong this time”, Harry cleared the tears that had fallen from his eyes, there was some hurt and understanding on his face, “When you kissed me the day of your concert, I felt alive again, I felt like the world could end right then and there and I would die a happy girl”

“And every kiss shared afterwards has been a breath of fresh air, and the one we shared when Pippa was born? It was pure love”, I smiled at him, “But deep down there has been anxiety too, because now, we don’t go first Harry, she does”, he nodded, “And I would rather die than to let her feel the heartache I did”

He sniffled and spoke up, “I will never ever let her feel like I don’t love her”, I smiled, “I know you won’t”, he then ran a hand down my cheek, “And will you? Let me make sure you never go a day without me telling you how much I love you?”, I sniffled, he kneeled before me and grabbed my face, “Lovie?”

I started crying harder and he pulled me into his arms, he swayed us while shushing me, hoping for me to calm down, and I hugged him hard, hoping my hug was enough to convey what I was feeling, but also asking for his forgiveness, for what I was feeling and how it would affect him, when I calmed down he kissed my forehead before pressing his to mine, I took a deep breath before speaking

“My heart wants to say yes, but my brain is screaming at me to say no, to protect myself again, because even if I love you with all my heart, I can’t really forget every single bit of pain I’ve felt because of you”, he nodded and kissed my nose, “And I want to, God I want to just let you love me, but I can’t, not right now”

He ran his hands down my arms, and ever so quietly replied, “I understand, please don’t feel bad”, I felt him start to get up but just a few seconds later he stopped and grabbed my face, “Wait… what do you mean not right now?”, I smiled, and my heart fluttered when I saw his hopeful expression, I leaned towards him in order to whisper to the shell of his ear

“Make me fall in love with you again”, he pulled back brightest smile on his face before he placed his hand on my cheek and squeezed my hands with the other, “Really?”, I nodded but then turned to look at him solemnly, “You get one chance Harry, just one”, he nodded, “And you need to remember that above all we vowed to be the best parents for Pippa, and that will always go first”, he nodded again before giving me a smile

“I will prove to you, that you are worth everything and more, and that I am not the same guy who broke your heart, I will make sure you never regret having accepted going on a date with me only after I asked five times”, we both chuckled, “I know I have a lot to work on, and I promise I will do so, for you, for me and especially for her”, I kissed his cheek, “Having said that, we do need to set some ground rules”

He nodded and came to sit next to me, “Okay first of all no kissing”, I wish I had taken a picture of his face, “We are starting fresh H”, he grumbled, “Forehead, cheek, and temples too?”, I chuckled, “Nah, those are okay”, he nodded with his head before asking, “How about dates?”, I placed my finger on my chin in thought before answering, “I mean, if you wanna get the girl you have to woo the girl huh?”, he laughed at that, he then grabbed my hands and gave them a squeeze

“I hope you know you won’t regret this”, I nodded, “I have a feeling I won’t”, I then cleared my throat, “So… are you ready to share our happy news with the world?”, he shook his head, “No, but if I have you next to me, I know everything will be okay my love”, he pulled out his phone and logged into his public account, we chose the picture and pasted the caption from his notes, then he turned to look at me, “On three?”, I nodded, “One… two… three”, and after a click, the world learned about the one who stole our hearts.

He locked his phone and put it on do not disturb, we both stood up and made our way to the kitchen, while he placed our mugs on the dishwasher I made sure that the door was locked and turned off all remaining lights, we both made our way to our bedrooms, he came into mine to check on Pippa and I took the chance to go brush my teeth, when I came out he was standing on the door with a charming smile and his hands behind his back.

I walked towards him with a sneaky look on my face, I stopped and stood right in front of him, we were just watching each other, I was taking in his dimples, scars, the under-eye bags that have shown up recently and how I still got lost inside his eyes, he cleared his throat and pulled me out of my trance.

He pulled his hand out of his back and offered it to me, “Hi, I’m Harry, it is so nice to meet you”, I smiled at him and grabbed his hand to give it a good shake, “Hi Harry, I’m Y/N, it is a pleasure to meet you too”

December 14, 2021

New York, New York. 11:30 PM

Hi little love, it’s your mom again! I have been a little MIA for the last few days, but all has been for good reason, your arrival. All of a sudden, my doubts, fears, anxieties disappeared, and they were replaced by the love, admiration, happiness I felt when I met you.

My little baby, my little love, my Pippa. I am on Cloud Nine as I watch you sleep next to me; how can this be real? I have a confession to make… when I was around seventeen weeks pregnant, I had a dream, and on that dream, I saw a little boy that looked just like your dad, so I always thought that would be a premonition on who you were.

But boy was I so wrong, because on December thirteen, at exactly 3:47 AM you entered my life, with a cry full of life, with your ten fingers and ten toes, and some cheeks to die for, and contrary to what my dream had said, a little girl, my tiny best friend.

Your dad is in shock too Pip, and man is he crazy in love with you, I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up being a daddy’s girl if I’m honest, your arrival has been nothing short of a celebration, everyone is so very happy to meet you and to be able to share your journey and story.

I feel so blessed to have been able to write this for you baby, and my heart yearns for everything that we will still write along with everyone who loves you, your story began in the most extraordinary way possible, but that is what makes it special, that no stories will ever be the same, and I have a feeling that it was meant to be this way.

So, Pippa, my love, when you read this, I hope I am able to transmit all the love I have for you, you are my dream come true, and never ever forget how much you momma loves you little one, I hope you enjoy the story of you.

Taglist @tinydestinybear @i-got-the-cinema @beachwoodcaferryy @msolbesg @clarawolf22 @harrysficreblog @infinitely-yellow @cherrylovesblog @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry @harryspirate @kaitieskidmore1 @michellekstyles @qualitygiantshoepsychic @irelilien @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @shawnsblue @behindmygreyeyes @sunshinemoonsposts @dirtytissuebox @little-freak-satellite @tinydeskwriter @be-with-me-so-happily @watercolorskyy @goldenlouvr @jgoff717 @giveyourheartabreak-xx @tpwkstyles1d @alienorknight @voosa @last-saturday-night @dayxoxodreamer @itslottiehere @gviosca @itslottiehere

[strawberry-possum]

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[nenes-wifey]

AYE HOW Y DOİN first of all i love Y blog so fucking much and if you stop writing i will stab you with love and affection💅 and May i request ( idk if you still take request's or not you dont have to do it tho ) tsuchigomori x fem reader from 100 dialouge prompts 84 👁️👄👁️ ( im a big simp for this Man ) ✨✨

A/N: holy shit I forgot about the dialogue prompts I should do that again soon

84. “They deserve this.”

Today was horrible, some how the universe all decided to work together to make today as terrible for you as possible. It started when you woke up late for your job and had to rush through everything that morning, forgetting any money or food for the day, almost forgetting your phone, and nearly forgetting your shoes. You ran so hard to work that you had to take a minute to calm down and not be sweat soaked in front of students and staff.

It didn’t stop there, you were swamped with work the whole day for no obvious reasons and no matter how much you thought, you couldn’t think of a good reason there was so much to be done. You worked as the school nurse, and you were out of many things in your office, ranging from spare pens to bandaids and ibuprofen, which was a necessity in a nurses office so that caused a lot of hiccups in the day. At lunch you didn’t even notice that you didn’t bring lunch or money since you were still busy working on health work for students.

It wasn’t until late after you were supposed to go home that you noticed just how late it was in the night, when the school’s librarian, Tsuchigomori, had walked into your office.

“(Y/n).” He spoke up after god knows how long and you finally looked up to see him.

“Oh! Hey, Tsuchi! What do you need?” You said with a smile on your face. Just looking at him was enough to make your whole day better, let alone speaking to him.

“Do you have any idea how late it is? You should be long home by now.” He scolded you with a glare. Oh boy, I guess it has been a while since school let out.

“I would go home, tsuchi, but there’s still so much work to do! I need to get it done by today or I’m just gonna get swamped again tomorrow.”

“No way, pack up and get ready. I’ll be waiting outside for you so don’t take long.” He left you to clean up for a while after that.

You eventually walked out with your purse and coat to Tsuchigomori leaning on the wall next to your door, he almost looks like he’s gonna pass out.

“Come with me.” He said and, without even waiting for you to respond, he started walking away, fast. You had to almost jog to keep up with him.

You eventually followed him all the way to a set of doors, the entrance to the 5th wonder of the school, and followed him into the room. He didn’t often let you in here, you two mostly hung out in your office or outside.

“Here, sit.” He gestured to a chair as he spoke and didn’t break stride, apparently going to get something else from somewhere else in the library.

“Hey!” Some of the mokke hopped out from the shelves and crowded around you as you waited. They were so sweet and always made the best company, a few even gave you presents.

Eventually Tsuchi came back with his arms full, all of them. Why did he have so much stuff? He came over and wordlessly dumped blankets and pillows onto you. What??? You quickly popped your head out to see what he has planned but the moment you did, he covered your head back up, filling you with even more confusion.

“Don’t look, it’s a surprise.” He said nonchalantly, and so you waited. And waited. And waited some more.

It felt like forever until Tsuchi finally said that you could come out, but oh was the wait worth it. All you saw was a table full of your favorite things, your favorite snacks and drinks, and Tsuchi had a tablet with your favorite movie already on.

All the mokke were crowded around the table and (mostly) all asking the same thing. “Why?”

“Because,” Tsuchi said as he glanced back at you, “She deserves it.”

Oh boy, now you’re crying. Yep, you’re crying because he’s too sweet like damn today has been bad but everything is so much better now.

You walked over and buried your face in his chest while he rubbed at your back. Eventually he sat you down and held you close. The mokke eventually joined in to make one giant cuddle pile, and maybe to steal just a little bit of your foods.

You fell asleep in your lover’s arms feeling loved and content.

[drsteggy]

So I had a really good comic con. I think I was still not as recovered from shingles as I thought last year, because I was exhausted and strangers were commenting on how tired I looked. I’m tired after four days of wandering- I logged 24 miles in the Javits Center-but at no point did I want to cry so cool.

Anyway, here are some things that worked for me this year:

- pre gaming the night before and morning of with 200 mg ibuprofen

- compression ankle socks, and arch supports where needed. I got these things that slide over your foot to use in my Gerudo shoes and wow they made a difference so I will be hiding those in future cosplay shoes.

- individual packets of powdered electrolytes to add to water. I’m using Nuun but there’s a bunch of crap out there designed for runners. These slip into my con bag easily, flavor the water a bit and definitely are better than just water for me.

That’s all aside from…eat food a couple times, take breaks, the usual advice for cons.

I also went to a few panels for cosplayers and got some good makeup advice since I need every bit I can get but:

- use translucent setting powder after your moisturizer and before your primer and apply it with a powder puff

- use that translucent setting powder between layers, so I did it before and after primer, then after foundation, color correcting, highlighting, and contour.

- setting spray. I got some new stuff from Mehron, and it worked very well for me today. You want a thing meant for theater and not like…Urban Decay from Sephora.

They talked a lot about body paint which is interesting but I’m not sure I’m so interested I want to turn myself into, idk Pet Doctor She Hulk though I have a few former employers who would suggest that.

Zelda cosplayers seemed a bit more out in force tho maybe I’ll save that for another post.