#I still care about this show and my fixation won't die

[rebuke-me]

im gonna rant in the tags for a sec don't mind me

[deathbxnny]

Have I watched/read JJBA kinda. Is it my new hyper fixation yes. Anyways Giorno Giovanna, Jotaro Kujo, & Jolyne Cujoh with a reader (platonic or romantic idc) that’s like Firefly and her stance is just Sam but it’s called Iron Maiden!

(＃＞＜)

JJBA characters with a Firefly-like! Fem! Reader | Jolyne Cujoh, Jotaro Kujo, Giorno Giovanna

As someone who can easily say that JJBA is their favorite anime, I absolutely love this idea, Anon!! I made this a romantic hc, so I hope you'll like it!<33

Content: Vague mentions of chronical illness, mentions of potential future death by illness, angst, hurt/comfort, sfw

Reader is fem/afab in this, but no pronouns are mentioned!

((Not proofread))

》JOLYNE CUJOH

Jolyne met you in jail as a cell mate, one she quickly found a lot in common with, especially regarding your rather special stand abilities. But your illness is what really drew her to you and made her determined to keep you safe after you became a couple. Her heart ached knowing you were stuck in a prison, when you should be out there experiencing life as much as you still could, but alas, you were here with her, and she tried to make things easier for you with her presence.

She was left stunned however, when you were attacked by some stand users and quickly found out that you perhaps didn't need the extensive help and care she had given you after all. Sam, your stand, was more than enough to destroy any enemy in sight, something she found absolutely awesome. Jolyne would absolutely cheer you on from the sidelines, completely forgetting that she had to fight too.

It makes her proud to see how strong you are despite your potential deadly fate and hopes to stay at your side until the end.

》JOTARO KUJO

You both were childhood friends turned lovers, and so he was very much aware of your condition from day one. He watched as your illness progressed to become worse and worse until you were left unable to walk properly anywhere. But what hurt the most deep down was that you always remind me so gentle and calm with him anyway, despite his rather aloof and indifferent personality. His mother often teased him playfully for being so soft with you and only you, but he'd just stubbornly deny it every time.

With that said, anyone that hurts you is practically dead before they know it. He doesn't play around when it comes to your health or well-being, and so it does come to some sort of relief that your stand is extremely powerful. It made protecting and keeping you safe a lot easier when you could just do it yourself, too. This doesn't mean he won't keep his eyes on you at all times anyway.

Jotaro is somewhat in denial about what's most likely going to be your early passing due to your sickness, despite his rational mind. He doesn't want to think or hear about it, as it hurts too much to lose you as well.

》GIORNO GIOVANNA

Giorno met you through Bucciarati, and whilst you weren't directly a part of the gang, you were still an important person in it due to your stands immense strength. You immideatly introduced him to it through a battle against an enemy stand user, which made him take interest in you initially. You were gentle and soft-spoken, so it was definitely a contrast he quickly became infatuated with over time. But what really got him about you was that you were able to do all these great things despite being gravely ill.

It served as a reminder that life was cruel, and yet Giorno wasn't phased by it. In fact, he hoped that once he was successful with the mission of overtaking the boss, he'd eventually be able to get you the medical care you needed. He was determined to find a way to stop the illness or at least make life better for you, so you became another goal for him to fight for.

You can always count on him for anything and everything, that's for sure. He loves you greatly and wants to show you that by staying by you even when things get worse. So if you inevitably die, then he'll be there until your last breath.

[amethystina]

I think the reason people are really excited and very much waiting for the kidnapping tag is because we looooove protective Yohan (as seen in It Is Mine To Avenge which was beyond perfect so thank you for quenching our thirst lol).

That being said, I am a little worried about the minor character death; because in my mind it could be anyone except the Kangs and Gaon, which is good obviously, but now that we know the characters better I feel a certain connection to all of them and if anyone of them died, I wouldn't be devastated per say but I know you are going to write it in a way that would hit.

Of course, I am not saying that you shouldn't do what you planned on doing from the beginning, we all read the tags and know what we are in for, but it will still make me sad (as if we weren't sad for the majority of this fic lol) even if I know it is coming.

I can understand that since protective Yo Han is very interesting — otherwise I wouldn't have written It Is Mine to Avenge — but I guess it's just a little... worrying? Because I'm not sure if what I have planned will feel quite as satisfying as some people seem to be hoping for? Not to mention that it's still so far away? And this isn't the first time someone has asked me when it will happen or how long they'll have to wait before it shows up. I guess it's just stressing me out to have people ask for something I know won't be happening anytime soon x'D

It's a bit like having a couple of kids in the backseat continuously asking "Are we there yet?" and knowing we're nowhere close.

(Tbh I had hoped that It Is Mine to Avenge would distract people a little and not make them fixate so much on the kidnapping tag on Who Holds the Devil, but it seems like the opposite happened. Now people are pushing for it even more in Who Holds the Devil, except it's not like I can rearrange my entire timeline to make it happen sooner?)

That's fair. And I can't lie and say that the minor character death tag isn't there for a reason — some people are going to die. The question is just who. And under what circumstances. Which I obviously can't tell you since that would be spoilers :P

But, that said, it's not a choice I made lightly. Like, even killing off villains should only be done after careful consideration, and especially the way they die. Sun Ah is a good example of that, I think. She knew she was going to die — since she didn't doubt that Yo Han would blow up that room, even with himself in it — and then she'd rather shoot herself. There's obvious thought involved in that choice and I think it's important to give characters that dignity, even when they're villains.

But yes, I will carry on with my plans. In all honesty, it's very, very difficult to make me change my mind when it comes to certain plot points and this is one of them. Not to mention that it's far too late to start changing things in the major plotlines of this fic x'D

Also, I promise that there will be a lot of happiness in the fic, too! Once Yo Han and Ga On actually get together, they'll be disgustingly cute. And still have issues and things they have to address, sure, but I am going to cram so much domestic fluff in this fic, you have no idea. Just fucking watch me.

So just hang in there! We'll get to the happier bits eventually!

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Corruption & Trust

Stormbringer and bsd spoilers in general ahead so read at your own risk!!

So in this post I will be listing all the times Chuuya used corruption and all the times Dazai was there to stop it. I will also go into depth as to why Chuuya trusts Dazai when it comes to having to use corruption and I will also emphazise on Dazai's care and how he takes corruption seriously.

1. First time using corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old

"Isn't it an unpleasant sight, Chuuya."

It was a young boy. This young boy casually caught hold of Chuuya's arm and lifted it up. With this movement, the gravitational field which had occured around them disappered immediatly. As well as Chuuya’s agony.

"Y...You..."

"You can't even die gracefully can you?" the young boy said in a raspy voice as he heaved Chuuya on his shoulders. He set off to walk.

Alright so this was the first time Chuuya's corruption was ever activated, after Dazai nullifies it and carries Chuuya on his back, he drops him off outside the bar were Chuuya's friends lay dead. He took him there instead of taking him directly to the port mafia quarters.

Why did he do that exactly? If Dazai doesn't care for Chuuya, then why did he give Chuuya the opportunity to pay farewell to his dying friends?

It's actually sort of funny because I don't really think Dazai really realizes or accepts that he feels a certain connection with Chuuya and therefore looks after him.

2. Second time using Corruption: Stormbringer

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 16 yrs old (obviously, its still the same light novel lol)

After losing his strength, Chuuya drifted in the air for a few seconds, then lost the black wings on his back and slowly fell.

Dazai caught his body.

From the spot where Dazai touched, the nulification skill was activated.

The self-contradictory skill that supports the energy of the singular point receded, and the output of the singular point decreased. Eventually, it converged and the "gate" closed. The red imprints disappeared from Chuya's whole body. Eventually, the gravitational field disappeared and the complete silence was restored.

“Good job, Chuuya." Dazai chuckled, looking at Chuuya he was holding in his arms. "I forgot to bring my ink pen, so I'll spare you from having your face scribbled."

As much as it looks like this is from a fanfiction, I can assure you that it's an actual passage from stormbringer.

I can't really say much except the fact that Dazai is being extremely soft here.

And this was the conversation Dazai and Chuuya shared beforehand:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right? the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

After this exchange, Chuuya does decide on using corruption. I have talked about this section on a previous post of mine, and I just love it so much. For starters, I think this conversation that these two shared is very important to their characters.

For Chuuya, it shows us how undeniably selfless he is. He would rather save the people of Yokahama instead of finding out something that meant a lot to him. He sacrificed his own desires to save the people he cares about.

For Dazai its a completely different story, in this exchange Dazai was able to openly express genuine concern for his partner. He also understands the gravity of the decision Chuuya has to take and therefore leaves the decision up to him.

Third time using corruption: Dragon's Head Conflict

Chuuya and Dazai' s age: 16 yrs old

During this one, Chuuya demands to know where his friends are, and Shibusawa says all six of them killed themselves after being caught. Enraged, Chuuya activates Corruption which ultimatley ended the 88 day conflict.

There isn't much to say about Dazai and Chuuya here since there isn't really an aftermath on this occasion but I bealive this picture is enough.

Before reading the DA manga, I genuienly thought that the only time Chuuya ever rested on Dazai's lap was when they were 22 but this proved me wrong.

I mean this is a minimal thing to point out but if Dazai disregarded Chuuya he would've just left him there, right? But instead he remained with Chuuya and allowed him to rest on his lap, in the picture you can also see he is putting Chuuya's hat back on. It's such a simple gesture but it shows us how caring Dazai can be when it comes to Chuuya using corruption.

Fourth time using corruption: Lovecraft Battle, Double Black reunion

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22 yrs old

This is personally one of my favorite times in which Chuuya uses corruption. The fact that these two had not been working together for 4 years yet they still managed to not only accomplish their mission, but mantain their trust for one another.

I find what Chuuya says here extremely ironic because if anything, the choice has always been up to him. Dazai always uses corruption as a last-resort trick and its always Chuuya who makes the final decision of using it or not, even in a life or death situation Dazai won't take it upon himself to force Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not, and hes always willing to come up with an alternative plan in case Chuuya refuses. (an example of this is when Chuuya used corruption for the 2nd time in SB).

I think the reason as to why Dazai takes corruption extremely seriously is because during stormbringer he was the first person to even see Chuuya use corruption and also the person who understood how corruption will always be sort of like a burden to Chuuya, since it was thanks to corruption that his "am I human?" question stayed unanswered.

He knows how it feels to struggle with your own humanity and he doesn't want for Chuuya (who he literally sees as human), to hold that inner conflict with himself because of corruption.

Anyways, Chuuya decides to go through corruption trusting that Dazai will be there to nullify it.

And of course, Dazai does nullify it.

And after Dazai nullifies corruption, we get this very touching moment between both of them.

This is the first time Chuuya openly admits to trusting Dazai, although it was always evident that he trusts him, I just love how open he is being here.

Also the light punch he gives to Dazai's chest is such a sweet gesture, I see it as a silent way for Chuuya to say "I trust you because after all this time I still see you as my partner."

Dazai's smile in that small pannel is one of the most genuine expression we have gotten out of him. What he says is also a very sweet, I love that he calls him partner. The fact that these two are literally in rival organizations yet Dazai still calls him partner, it shows us that even after all these years he still can't help but see him the same way as he has always done.

Actually in Japanese he calls him "Aibou" and from my understanding, when you use the term Aibou it's for someone who you consider yourself to be close with. It means "partner" like in english but it holds a deeper meaning. If Dazai used the word "nakama" it would have been a very diffrent story since it means partner as well but it isn't used for someone you share a significant connection with. Asagiri's play with words here says a lot.

Fifth time using corruption: Dead Apple

Chuuya and Dazai's age: 22yrs old.

Of course I have to talk about one of the most iconic moments in the history of Soukoku.

Chuuya uses corruption to save Dazai, even if Ango says that he's dead for sure. Something I find very intresting here though is that Chuuya screams for Dazai while he is on corruption, he is obviously not supposed to be self concious about the whole situation, while on Corruption clearly he is not supposed to be in sane state of mind, as we all here know, Chuuya loses control and does not have the track of reality while under his own ability but this time, while using corruption, the one and only thing that was on his mind was "Dazai."

It wasn't only Chuuya who entrusted his life to Dazai, Dazai too entrusted his life in Chuuya's hands. When Dazai came up with this plan, he was more than certain that Chuuya was going to save him. And I think a tumblr blog pointed this out but when Chuuya uses curroption, he cannot control his strength, but when he had to punch Dazai he did it lightly, which is strange considering he was using curroption and it would've made a lot more sence if Dazai ended up decapitated due to being punched by a literal god. Dazai had to have faith in the fact that Chuuya will somehow be able to control corruption, even if its just a little bit.

Afterwards when Chuuya manages to rescue Dazai, Dazai gently touches his cheek to nullify corruption and greets him with, "You used Corruption believing in me? I am so touched I could cry." Chuuya groans, and replies that yes he did, that he believed in his disgusting vitality and craftiness.

When they both fall to the ground, Dazai forces Chuuya to rest in his lap because he didn't want to have to protect him from this situation since the fog is still up and Chuuya himself is all worn out and wouldn't be able to fight. But heres the thing, both Chuuya and Dazai's abilities can't be seperated by the fog. I mean Dazai's ability is nulification so it basically cancels out, and Chuuya hosts a literal god inside him so it isn't really an ability if you know what I mean.

So in reality, Dazai just wanted Chuuya to rest. Dazai could've literally just left Chuuya in the fog if he was only using him for his goals, but he was genuienly appreciating Chuuya's trust in him. The way Dazai's hand is resting on Chuuya's hair is a nice gesture too, he is greatful for him and he is moved that someone trusts him, it is shown throughout the Fifthteen and SB light novel that no one trusted Dazai and how most were afraid to even approach him. And in the ADA, everyone is somewhat warry around him (excluding Atsushi ofc). But Chuuya literally puts his life on the line trusting that Dazai will always be there to save him. He trusts him greatly and Dazai knows that, and I think its pretty clear to us that he would never want to break that trust.

The fact that Chuuya trusts Dazai even after he left the Port Mafia without an explanation or goodbye shows us how strong their bond is. Chuuya most likely trusts Dazai because deep down he knows that he isn't using Chuuya's ability out of his own selifshness, a part of him is aware that Dazai uses corruption as a last resort but he just doesn't want to admit it, and I feel like he also trusts him subconciously because of how gentle Dazai is after Chuuya uses corruption.

I really hope we get to see more of these "corruption moments" because in all honesty, these moments are the ones that bring out the most vulenrability for both characters. The moment corruption is used, we see the inmeasurable amount of trust and care these two have for each other that they won't show in other situations. During these times it always shines a very open and bittersweet light on their bond and I love it so much.

[mochiswifey]

OUT OF PLACE 3

Synopsis; You ruin everything.

CW: MNDI...Age gap, Mental Illness,Foul Language,DIRTY SMUT, ANGST!!! SLIGH CRACK.

Kanji Mochizuki*Takeomi Akashi*South Terano

Prev : Next

South.... How do you even begin with him? You haven't known him for long. Hell it's only been a few hours but you know that he's not a nice guy. But he's a good guy.

Despite of that. You feel calm with him. Something you haven't felt for such a long time. Maybe you never even felt that in your whole life.

"Shorty."

"STOP CALLING ME SHORTY!" You jump trying to reach for your whiskey bottle on South's hand.

"You're short." You lightly punched his arms before rolling your eyes at him. He only chuckled in returned before ruffling your already messed up hair with his gigantic hand.

The two of you had been talking for hours. Probably since 3 am and it's definetely been at least 6 hours. Time flew faster with him. It was pleasant.

Even when the two of you fell in silence. It wasn't awkward.

He laughs looking down at you before the two of you proceeded on walking back to civilation. Something the two of you didn't want to do for a few more hours.

But everything has to end right?

He never gave your bottle back. He sneakly dropped the bottle while you were busy ranting about your boss who reminds him of someone he got wrecked by.

He noticed your high tolerance for alcohol but he wasn't about to risk your safety by letting you chug the remaining liquor all the while knowing you'll drive back home.

"You know-"

"I don't." You sighed. He definetely got the same bitchass humor as you.

"You feel like an old friend." You tell the giant before wrapping your arms around his. He was surprised but having your touch feels warming and relieving. As if you took all of his worries and stress away simply by just being close to him.

"You too." He simply replied smiling.

He felt so peaceful, you didn't want to say goodbye. But you remind yourself what happens when you keep people for too long.

"Hey, pretty. Don't die will you?"

You squint your eyes and gave him the bitch what meme face. Him saying that is so random. It made you think that, maybe he noticed something no one even you noticed.

"You look like you're 'bout to commit homicide, arson and fucking suicide after this." He says as he starts his Harley.

"I won't." You assure him giving him a genuine smile before entering your luxury car you're always proud to show off.

"Good. And don't do drugs. I don't want seeing my pretty girl all fucked up. Well, I would if I was the reason." He shouts at you and him calling you his pretty girl made you blush to the point you had to cover your face with your palms.

It's too fucking adorable for South.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oi, where have you been?" Takeomi harshyly grabbed your arm as soon as he found you inside your office trying to inject yourself with heroin.

You wanted to punch him so bad for making you drop your syringe, wasting your top class heroin that will give you a few minutes of high before returning you to your dark reality.

"The fuck is wrong with you? Fuck off stinky ass lung cancer-" His hand found its way to your throat startling you.

Bonten members. You don't care for them like you don't care for anyone in this world. You acknownledge their traits and you have your list of their flaws as well.

What you hated about Takeomi is the way he looks at you. You hated it more than when he was underestimating you.

He's born on early Showa period so, you figure he had the mindset of "Girls are to be seen not heard." Which pisses you off but his stupid eyes....

The way they land to your lips. The way they follow your every move during the meetings. The way it says that he wants to own you.

It fucking pisses you off.

"Let go Akashi, I'll fucking rip your head off." He doesn't move. His eyes are still fixated on your parted lips. Wanted to taste it. To bite on it. To claim it as his.

You're cruel. Because despite of knowing it will be chaos when Mochi finds out. You didn't fight back when his lips was on yours.

You destroy everything that could've been beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He pulled you up from your chair and placed you on top of your desk. You liked how he was rough. How he didn't try to be gentle and how he didn't try to hide his want for you.

Every move of his is animalistic. His grips and the way he marks you like you're the only one he wants.

You love it.

Has someone ever needed you like this? Like Takeomi needs you? Probably not. No one that you're aware of.

"Shit. I can't believe you let Kanji fuck you first." He grunts lowly on your ear. You could feel the spite and jealousy. And in some fucked up way. You liked it.

Your breast bounced as he mercilessly pound inside your hole. Grip on your throat tight as he chants that you're his property. That you only belong to him.

"I-I don't fuck- fucking belong to you." You barely manage to say. A dark amused expression appears on his face.

He pulls your face closer to his before licking your neck up to your lips. He was amused that even after cumming on his cock 4 times you still refuse to submit to him.

"K-Keep saying that." Like you he was barely able to make out a sentence as your cunt clench around his cock. Milking him.

"F-fuck." He leaned forward and took your nipple on his mouth and sucked on it like a hungry child.

Despite of his age. He was harder and had more vigor than any other men you've encountered. It impressed you. And if only you're different... You would easily be his whore. But again... You remind yourself that you always destroy things.

You destroy everything if you keep them too long within your hold.

You know it's bad when you're not able to maintain even just a mainly sexual relationship.

"We could do more of this if you become my slut." Takeomi says after releasing his seed inside you for the last time.

Is it because you're mentally exhausted from your horrid life or is it because he fucked you hard that you could barely say anything.

He fucked you hard. You won't deny it. And you can't fucking deny it. The sweats on your forehead and neck despite of it being winter is a clear evidence.

"Let's go eat." He pulls his cock out and tried to kiss you but you turn your head away from his ash flavored lips.

"Fuck off. You're just a quick fuck."

"Quick fuck? You-" You push him away and picked your scattered clothes.

"Leave."

"You're fucking kidding me?" He gets frustrated easily. He tried to grabbed your arm like he did before but your elbow landed on his face first knocking him out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were careless. Mochi heard everything.

He stood outside of your office listening to every moan you gave Takeomi. And it drained him.

He woke up alone and he was thrown in a panic state. He was running around trying to find you. Eager to see you safe he was... scared.

A man like him? Scared for you? How stupid. But it's the truth.

He wanted to see you safe but he found you with his collegue moaning like nothing ever happened to the two of you.

Maybe you broke his heart. But would you care? You won't. You can't. You just can't care. It'll be a mayhem if you did.

You knew Mochi heard the two of you because his eyes changed. He looks at you as if you're the most disgusting woman in the world. But you couldn't give two shits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Stop fucking with my executives." Mikey called you into his office just to tell you that. He noticed that you're wrecking havoc among his men and he couldn't let a broken girl that reflects him ruin the only people he secretly calls his family.

"You got it." Was all you say. Your dead eyes stare back to his. He dismisses you. But instead of leaving. He remained on his chair thinking about you. He couldn't help but to feel pity.

He hates you whenever you act so innocent and sweet. Whenever your eyes shines, your smiles wide. Whenever you gave them warmth. Whenever you tenderly tend to their wounds after a hectic job. It reminds him of Emma.

He hates those days.

He wish he could take away your smile. But it's confusing him because whenever days like this comes. He wish he could put those disgusting smile back to your face.

You confuse him. You confuse them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shit shit shit!" Kakucho panics as you enter the meeting room. Blood soaked your beige shirt.

"You're bleeding!"

"Thanks for the info, I didn't know that at all." You sarcastically says as you threw the head of your target to Mikey's feet.

You noticed that his eyes are different. Almost worried. But you brushed it off. You took it for a new expression of being bored.

"Sanzu you got any pain killers?" You asked as you sat on the floor. You have high tolerance for pain but the fucker who stabbed you went a little deep.

"I don't- YOU GOT STABBED?" The pink crackhead was too absorbed on watching porn on his phone, legs up to the table, amused look on his face. He wasn't able to notice your state immediately.

"This is nothing-"

"Get the doctor." Mikey orders his number 3 making him ran towards the infirmary.

"Hey. I hope you die but you should really see a doctor." Sanzu says and you rolled your eyes.

“I want drugs not a doctor.”

“You need a doctor.” Mikey says nonchalantly, doing a great job on masking his growing worry for you.

“Ummmm. I got fucking stabbed. And I don’t want to be that ungrateful person- Mikey

“That’s funny I was actually thinking the same thing.” He says.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You got ignored because Mikey pulled the Uno reverse card on you. He insisted that you take a break. You don't accept it. And instead decided to throw a party.

Loud music, disgusting smell of sweat and perfume. The nightclub was wild. Ran, Sanzu and Rindou didn't mind your idea of partying. They were more than glad to come.

Mikey wanted you to stay at home and heal but knowing that you won't listen to him he came. So does Kakucho. Kokonoi was just dragged in the mess.

You didn't expect Mochi and Takeomi to come but they did.

They wanted to run to you. To wrapped you with their arms as soon as they found out you got injured. But they held themselves back. You weren't good for them. They know that. They try their hardest but maybe you're worth the pain.

They thought you'd be embarass when you see them. But not an ounce of care flashed to your face. Not even when older, more experienced women sat on their laps.

Not even when their hands explored the women's body. They know you're seeing them but you just don't care. They hate it.

Why won't you care?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You tried to drown yourself with alcohol. You took pills with Sanzu. Dance with the brothers. Kissed random strangers before running away making the brothers laugh.

You tried to forget the stupid hollow hole in your frozen heart but it's stubborn. You wanted help. But the memories of- you can't. Call someone and they'll be send to hell for trying to help you. You're a lost cause. You can't be helped.

You were too fed up. The confusing emptiness and stupid despair. You're strong but you can't win agaisnt these two.

You went back to the VIP room and found Mochi and Takeomi with the same women earlier, their hands gripped tightly on the women's ass and they were sensually kissing.

They wanted to make you feel like shit. To make you see what you've lost. Little did they know you've always felt like shit and their antics won't affect you.

"FUCK!" You finally snapped. Tears spill from your eyes as you rummage through your bag trying to find the pills similar to what Sanzu has.

The only difference is that it's stronger.

Your hands were shaking and your heart feels like it's about to rip your chest open and just fall to the floor.

Everything starts to feel too fucked up. Too fucked even for a person like you.

A slight relief washed over you as your hands touched the familiar plastic. You pulled two packs out and mindlessly dropped pills on your mouth.

"HEY!" Takeomi pushed the woman off his lap letting her fall to the cold floor. He didn't care about the glares the woman gave him. Mochi did the same and the two of them walked towards you. You scare them to death.

"You're gonna kill yourself."

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GODDAMN CARE!" You grabbed the liquor on the table and smashed it. The shard and liquid flew all over the room scaring the nameless women and ruthless men in front of you.

Eyes red and tired. The two of them know you're not you.

"Try to fucking intervene and I'm gonna fucking kill the two of you." You point the broken bottle to them. They knew you could. But they were unfazed.

"What the fuck is happening here?" Mikey entered along with the remaining executives. They were puzzled and even the trio who finds humor to everything has a serious look on their faces.

"J-just let me do my own shit okay? Don't fucking interfere with the shit I do! Fucking hell- You're not my family!" You yelled before throwing the broken bottle on the wall finally breaking all of it.

You wipe your tears as you pass the executives.

Why do they find it so heartbreaking seeing you so helpless?

Mikey and Kakucho knew they have to save you. Sanzu and Kokonoi knew they have to support you. Ran and Rin knew they have to protect you and finally Kanji and Takeomi knew they have to love you unconditionally.

What did you do to them?

Oh....

You should've never baked Mikey a cake. And you should've never told him seeing him eat it makes you happy. You should've never made him see himself in you.

You should've never bonded with Sanzu over your grief. You should've never told him about the people you lost, after overdosing with him.

You should've never told Kakucho you were born to be a soldier and has always been alone. And you should've never made him feel like you're his home.

You should've never showed Kokonoi, Ran and Rindou how it feels to have a sister who cares for them. A sister who combs and braids their hair. A sister who asks them if they have eaten yet.

You should've never showed Takeomi your smile. And the bright future he could have with you.

You should've never tended on Kanji's wounds. Hug him and tell him you like the way he feels within your arms.

Because if you just controlled who you really are. Everything would've been better. Far better than it is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't copy.

TAGLIST: @rizakari @rinrinfoxy

^Replies & Reblogs are greatly appreciated^

[animebw]

Reading One Piece: Chapters 869-970

-Mochi earplugs, huh? Not the worst idea in the world.

-Pretty bold idea to have a chapter with almost zero dialogue in the middle of a pitched battle. I'm not sure it entirely works, though; with how chaotic Oda's art and paneling can get, no dialogue makes it hard to follow the action at times.

-WELP THERE GOES THE BOX

-Oh, she is pissed. This castle isn't gonna last very long at all.

-"I told you not to show that face around here anymore!" Well, so much for composure. She's running on pure Id now.

-"Are you in on this plot! You won't be getting any snacks tomorrow, that's for sure!" And yet, she's still lashing out in such a childlike way. Who but a kid would consider losing snacktime a punishment appropriate for crimes of this magnitude?

-"But I do care about my men! And I ain't about to let them die!" Yeah, I don't think bouncing early's an option here.

-"Because my father would be sad if I were still fixated on my childhood hatred." Sanji, you're a bigger man than I am. They don't deserve mercy... but you're giving it to them regardless.

-"And I'll be damned if I live a life where I can't stand tall and look him in the eye!" But this is perfect. He's not doing this for Germa 66, not really. He's doing this for his true father, Zeff. This war-hungry mob is no longer his family, and he's making sure they all know it. Now, nothing's left to bind them together. Now they can both be free of each other.

-"This is their means of making amends." God. Is there still some honor in these men after all?

-Let the escape begin!

-HELL YEAH REIJU'S NOT DYING TODAY

[kexing]

Mj remember when we thought ep 9 was disappointing? This one upped it, showed that their relationship won't be hurt by anything and then they go and do that 💀 I don't even know where to direct my thoughts, jail for the writers

Those two seconds of inkpha saved me but that's that lmao, but hey we got a nice song out of it ;-;

Why is this show so fixated on proving that the bad guys aren't actually bad, first with w*i, now their parents, like that's the complete opposite of what you should be doing 😭 and they brought in junior's mum just to make pran feel more guilty and all that for what

Yeah, that's about it, I have nothing else to say, time to ☆suffer☆

Anyways, hope your week was good my friend, wishing you the best weekend too!!

Love, awa ❤

awa love, i 1000000% feel you. which is why i refuse to believe they really broke up lmao idk that preview emphasized the break up soooo much, surely this can’t be completely real???

or i’m just in denial. which is also likely

but i don’t know. something feels OFF to me. so i’m gonna wait until next episode to fully judge that because i’m still a firm believer that pat and pran are ride or die. even if the show wants me to believe otherwise, i will not

we got three seconds of inkpa and the song i was Dying to listen to!!! and some cinematography alksksks and soft patpran moments in which they REALLY bonded and pran said he’s fine anywhere as long as he has pat!! then you’re telling me he goes years without so much as talking to him? FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE

idk i feel SO numbed by the good moments that the bad ones have YET to sink in

i mean. they haven’t really talked about pat’s father. it was mostly pran missing his mom. pat would’ve loved to stay there with pran forever and GOD HOW I WISH THEY WOULD!!!! but when they dropped pran missing his mom i just resigned to that and to the fact that they would never permanently run away together. i’m genuinely tired of feeling disappointed so i just accepted it.

i think they brought junior’s mom to add perspective to pran. of how “mothers care about their children’s well being” and while i understand the intention, it still fell flat because pran’s mom clearly cares more about her reputation than her son’s well being. and if only they would give her SOME character development, i’d maybe get it. but she literally has no screentime outside of pran’s pov so 🤷🏻‍♀️

*hug* i’m here to suffer with you!!! i just really think we should wait until next week to see the full picture and decide how to feel about the break up.

i did have a good week!! thank you!! have a lovely weekend and next week!!! ❤️💙

[emachinescat]

I've decided to watch MacGyver from the beginning (again), and I'm live tweeting the experience with every tweet tagged with #savemacgyver. I thought it would be fun to share my collected thoughts from the episodes on here as well.

My Thoughts on S1E1, "The Rising"

Good old Lake Como.

"How do I look?" Always amazing, Mac, though here you are so bebby. Gosh, tiny Lucas is tiny.

Ugggh, Nikki. My least favorite story arc in the show. Even with her redemption arc, even her face makes me mad.

I am soooo glad this awkward flirting is only in this episode. Mac and Nikki have never vibed with me.

JACK DALTON

"Who loves ya, baby?" We all do, Jack.

I always wished they would have played more into the original Mac's reason for not carrying a weapon - not just so he doesn't get caught but because he doesn't like them. That was actually one reason I used to be so upset at the reboot when it first came out. I still feel like Mac's character was off for this first episode - a little too cocky, not super developed. But still lovable, and with so much potential!

It's so cool to see how much Lucas has grown into this character over the years, really making it his own while still holding on to its essence.

Lol "serious bad-assery" - Nikki thinks she's so cool. (Spoiler: she's not.)

Lololol Nikki is the Walmart brand of Riley.

Mac in glasses. Adorbs.

Man, I'm already so ready for Matty. Patti is the off brand version of her.

I always love watching Mac rifle through stuff to find his improvisation supplies!

First MacSplaining session! Electromagnets!

"Is this George Clooney's house?" I miss Jack so freaking much.

Mac kind of looks like a penguin with that waiter outfit on and I'm living for it.

The second Mac hack is so Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew.

"Why don't you ever flirt with me like that?" Um, Jack, do you want your partner's girlfriend flirting with you, daddy fixation or not?

There are two kinds of oops, accordng to Jack Dalton: Oops - I just stubbed my toe / Ooooooops - Zombie apocalypse initiated.

Mac's hair is so shaggy.

"START THE DAMN BOAT!" Classic.

"Hold this and get out of my way." Dang, Mac.

The bad guy is the dude from Galavant hahaha. I know this guy has been in so many things, but he will always be Gareth to me. (That's his name, right? Gareth?)

W H U M P

I actually love the consistency of Mac always having that scar even seasons into the series (except for the last time, in the river). Overall great attention to detail!

That is a LOT of blood in the water.

Lol I'm pretty sure Grandpa Harry didn't say that in so many words, Mac.

Poor traumatized bebby. What am I saying? I live for this stuff.

Awww, lil Bozer. So smol. So pure. And now I want waffles.

"Eat your waffles." Three words I will never say no to.

"Give me Wang." -Bozer, 2016

Am I the only one who finds these intimate scenes between Mac and Nikki hella awkward?

QUARANTINE, sounds familiar.

Lol "cyberteam." Once Riley Davis comes along, they will be obsolete.

Jack just wants a hug.

I always hated the clinical white room in the pilot. Can't wait for the War Room.

I love the interactions between Jack and Riley.

Mac and Riley EYE CONTACT.

"You two are on timeout from now on." 😂😂😂

THE MOMENT WHERE HE GRABS HER HANDS

Lol, thanks for telling me that's a paperclip. I was so confused.

"Riley has so much hair!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love how Riley takes charge. Her confidence is 🔥🔥🔥

"You know what, never mind, I'd be pissed at you too." 🤣

Jack's so proud of his daughter. 💕

"Is that real?" Bless Jack's heart. He's such an old man.

Patti is a square. Pretty, competent, but boring. I miss Matty.

"My man never jokes about tin foil."

Ooooo Nikki is alive. Poor Mac. His whole world keeps getting turned on its head.

Jack can be scary when he wants to be.

Poor, poor, Mac. When he faces Nikki, he looks like a kicked golden retriever. (Also, NEVER kick a dog.)

I'm just eating up all this angst.

Mr. Wizard lololol

Mac hanging from a plane is soooo iconic.

"Don't get cocky. You're the only other one here." Haha, the SASS on this girl.

"Go ahead, you aready had me killed once." Also, oof. Undercover or not, Nikki is cold. I can't stand her.

Excuse me, Patricia, but I would consider running over your neighbor's dog (or any dog) a damn catastrophe, too.

"Sometimes a purge is necessary to fix what's broken." Codex, anyone?

Love this whole chase/fight sequence so much. The music, action, everything... perfect.

The sweat on Mac's forehead when dangling out of the 🚁 - such a great detail!

"YOU GO KABOOM, I GO KABOOM"

Kind of weird to me that Mac seems to be using so much guesswork with this bomb, especially when we know that he's one of the best specialists out there.

That fight scene in the back of the vehicle is one of my all time favorites. The whump is excellent.

Okay, but when does MacGyver ever do anything the way Jack has in mind?

DIY or die. Still so lame, lol. The parachute is awesome, though.

Oof. That landing looks painful and the whumper in me loves it. Even more, I can't get over how worried Jack is as he rushes to Mac's side. ❤️❤️❤️

That break in his voice when he asks if Mac's okay is just... AYSKTUFYIFUYliIIGUOG

Mac burning Nikki's pics like that old Taylor Swift song.

Bozer calling Jack his bestie is so weird and funny to me.

I am so ready for Bozer to get over Riley. They are so much better as friends.

Lol "Those fries won't cook themselves." The crack of a whip, man.

Jack calling Riley a little rascal and then gently asking Mac if he's doing all right there, pal ... taking care of his kids, and I am DYING.

The Three Amigos... come on, Jack. You can do better than that.

Is it bad that I'm actually a little surprised that Jack knows what a Phoenix is? Just seems like something he wouldn't care to learn, especially since he's a sci fi junkie but I never really hear him talk about fantasy.

Oooooooo Nikki's on the loose. Gotta end with suspense, to hook those viewers and make them want more. Well, I want more of this show, but not because of her.

Well, awesome re-watch of episode 1. Definitely not my favorite by a long shot, but so iconic and with some amazing moments! It just makes me that much more excited to get to see the show and the characters grow!

If anyone wants to join me in my re-watching and tweeting adventure, please do! It's my way to take about an hour a day in my busy, busy life to commit to the #savemacgyver movement. (And to enjoy my favorite show yet again!) If you do tweet as you watch, make sure to tag EVERY tweet with ONLY #savemacgyver so we can keep that hashtag trending! :)

Thanks for letting me share my (numerous) thoughts on this episode. This was really fun, and I hope it's something you all enjoy, too. I'll probably go ahead and post episode 2 tonight since I just watched it. I'd love to know what you all think of the episode in the comments! ❤️

[capri-ramblings]

Yikes,I know there's bound to be questions but trust me, chapter 3 will answer most of them. Aha,I'm sorry if this chapter is kinda confusing at first,I'm not good at planning out thoughts or stories systemically,it kinda makes it harder for me to write whenever I try to. But here,the second chapter of Raptured! Thank you for reading! ( ꈍᴗꈍ) ♥️

[ R a p t u r e d ]

Chapter 2: Banter

In the moment Riddle had finished telling his brothers what conspired with their human captive, the first to speak up was Azul.

"They offered what?" His words were a mix of shock and amusement, gaze fixated on Riddle who seemed almost flustered from how red his cheeks were.

The red haired sighed, sending him a narrow eyed glare before crossing his arms.

"The head of their own brother"

"By their own hands?" Kalim asked aloud, his features scrunched up worryingly. "Isn't that bad? Why would anyone want to kill their own brother so suddenly?"

From the chaise across the room,Leona let out a scoff, lips upturned into a smirk.

"What are you? A five year old? If you give a herbivore the chance of freedom,they'd leave their entire fleet open to make sure they survive. Humans aren't so different."

"Indeed" Vil joined in with a smile of his own. "Humans are very fickle things, they live out their life struggling and as a result they stink of repulsion."

"They can barely even stand on their own.." Idia added thoughtfully and as the gazes of his brothers turned to him, the flames on his hair flickered and he looked away.

"Maybe the isolation's got to their head?"

Riddle let out a scoff, his lips upturned in a sneer almost too vicious to be formed on such a delicate looking face.

"The cottage they were in was secluded from the rest of the village,they were already a reclusive. Why should it bother them now?"

"Maybe Idia has a point" Kalim interjected then "Before they were on their own by choice...and they weren't exactly trapped in a tower either"

"It's all the same" Leona snapped " Damn herbivores will always be too fragile."

"Though, our soft-shelled brothers have a sound reason" Vil's lips curled in an effortless smile,his ever sharp gaze glinting like jewels.

"At this rate our small hare is going to die before the homage from her brother, and that makes all of this pointless."

The room went silent then. Each males having their own thoughts wrapped around the situation.

When they came to a decision to face the hunter who killed their family beast, he was nowhere to be seen and left tending to his cottage was none other than their captive human, a young sibling unaware of what their fool brother had committed. They opted it was easier to simply kidnap them and have their brother come looking since neither one of them wanted to wait around. There was also the fact that the death of the beast had affected their Mother's health greatly, and all seven brothers fumed with rage.

"Our methods doesn't matter anymore" Riddle spoke up, "What's done is done. We can't exactly just put them back where we found them."

"I agree" Azul said "Though if the human dies in our care now, when we're fully able to change their situation, I fear the price of that loss would be great."

"What? Are the humans going to chase us around with pitchforks?" Leona sneered,his sharp fangs visible as he leaned back into the chaste. "You saw how further in their cottage was, chances are the herbivore doesn't even go down to the village often enough for people to notice them missing."

"They can't die." Idia drawled the words out this time,his gaze sharp and harsh as he stared down Leona who all but grinned at his brother.

"Why? Because you like them?" The laugh that barked out from Leona was cruel and Idia flinched.

"Go ahead and save the poor herbivore then,Prince Idia of the lands of burrowed moles. You think they'd ever look at you fondly?"

"Enough." Riddle came between the fight with his own ire and before he sent a glare towards Leona, he let Idia catch the solace in his.

The situation was getting worst. They needed a decision quick.

"You're not a five year old as well,Leona, so keep that tongue of yours tamed"

"What are you? Suddenly playing the role of the Eldest when you can't even reach his height?" Leona scrutinized Riddle with an aggression that seemed ready to claw him in the face, but Riddle kept his own spite and promptly choose to ignore his brother.

Instead,he turned to Azul.

"The hunter should've came back and see his sibling gone, you even sent those eels of yours to make sure he got the hints. Why hasn't he made a single move? It's been two months."

"Maybe he's forgetful?" Kalim chipped in, eyes glowing. Riddle wanted to tap the side of his face and gently tell him to shut up but Vil patted his head instead.

"A forgetful hunter managing to kill a wild beast is unlikely, mein bruder"

Azul crossed his arms,gaze narrowing.

"They've sent word that they have information regarding our human and the whereabouts of their brother"

"And?" Vil prompted.

"I told them to come meet us as soon as they can, which shouldn't be long."

The moment those words were uttered, a dull thud came from the would-be-entrance of the tower, and a familiar voice calling out.

"My Princes! Open the door please!" The urgency of the voice had all the present Princes turning their head, though the one who seemed genuinely surprised and concerned was Kalim.

"That voice..." He said, turning to Azul "Is that who I think it is?"

Azul's lips curled into a knowing smile and with a flick of his fingers, the sound of a door being swung opened then slammed shut could be heard within the tower itself,followed by light rapid footsteps approaching them.

Out of breath and desperately panting, a young girl made a hasty bow as she came before the Princes, though the way her legs slightly trembled suggested that she was near collapsing.

"It is her!" Kalim's eyes grew wide with familiarity, the worry in his voice replaced with joy as he came up to place his hand on the girl's shoulder.

"The last time I saw you, you were still learning how to walk!" Kalim's loud voice seemed to make her flinch but the girl met his gaze with warmth before she bowed her head again.

"Pleasure to meet you again,Prince Kalim." She's heard stories of him, the Prince Fae known to give out bits of his treasures to those who come wishing at his well. It seemed odd to act as if she's known him, but she knew better than to put logic before courtesy. He was one of the seven Princes after all. Acting too smart with them was a fool's mistake.

Before Kalim could say anything else, Azul stepped forward and the girl promptly met his side with a suddenly serious demeanor.

"I'd ask you for the information I had you fetch but I wonder why you were running in the first place?"

The girl laughed dryly if not nervously.

"Floyd wanted to see who could win in a race in getting here,your Highness."

Azul frowned, internally sighing.

"Why on Earth did you agree to that?"

Again, the girl laughed. "He terrifies me,my Prince."

Riddle couldn't place where he's met her, but hearing her words had him internally sympathising her. Azul's leeches were a pair he'd gladly avoid for eternity as well.

"So,you got a changeling to be at your beck and call as well,Azul?" Vil sounded amused as he turned to Azul, but the degrading glance he gave the girl bellied the smile coyly sitting on his lips then.

"She's indebted to us anyway" Azul stated simply "Why not put her to work?"

His gaze returned to the girl.

"What do you have about our human then?"

It took a full ten minutes for the young changeling to inform them of what she's managed to compile on their human and hunter. Turns out they aren't related by blood but by marriage. Apparently most of the villagers knew of the hunter but rarely saw the younger sibling as they took more liking in staying indoors. There was also talk that their relationship with one another was never close and answered Riddle's question as to why he hadn't showed up yet.

"So, he's just going to leave his sibling at our mercy?" Kalim asked,he had his expression scrunched up with worry and pity again but Leona shared none of it and only growled with distaste.

"There won't be mercy if they're left with us a second longer"

Riddle caught the flicker of Idia's flames and instantly reacted.

"Threaten to murder our captive one more time and I'll have your head,Leona."

"Hah, you're trying to scare me,Riddle?" Leona sneered,fangs glistening with malice. He's been irritated by the whole situation since the beginning. Taking in a human in hopes that another would appear to save them, it was all a damn fairytale. Leona knew humans were selfish, his brothers should've had that piece of common sense drilled into their heads as well. No one was going to play hero for their captive.

Riddle gritted his teeth and again instead of lashing out senselessly, he swirled around to face the changeling. Every bit of his anger flaring in his grey gaze.

"Where's the hunter now?" He asked,though it sounded painfully like a death threat.

The changeling bowed her head.

"He's at the human King's palace,Prince Riddle. King Aothor ...of Nostorne"

The words sent the entire room tilting, and Riddle would've gripped her by her neck if Azul hadn't stepped forward.

"King? Since when did the humans have a King?" The last time they came to the world,their mother's shrine was built almost everywhere to acknowledge her ruling. Had times changed so drastically since their absence?

"Yes. It's been this way for years now. A dukedom raised after Her Most Divine's departure from the human realm and ever since then a lineage of human nobles have taken the throne as the Human ruler."

"My, how futuristic, and here we were in the guise that we still sat on the top of their world" Vil was laughing but his words cut into the tension of the room like a blade coated in venom and the changeling girl shifted uncomfortably.

"It seems like the order of the slaughtering was made by him and ultimately fulfilled by the hunter. His name is Cyril and he's being celebrated by the King for his bravery."

Leona heaved a heavy sigh,leaning once more into his chaise. He looked ready to fall into a deep slumber already but his irritation kept him awake.

"So,we have information. Now what's the plan?"

***

Jade and Floyd,two of Azul's trusted companions came into the situation while the Princes were sorting out their thoughts and opinions (Which all greatly contradict one another) and brought word that their hunter had refused to save their sibling in a conversation Jade overheard him had with another hunter right before he was called on by the King.

"He said he knew of the Fae's trick and that by taking something of theirs as his own, he'd gladly give anything they took from him as compensation." Jade explained in his usual matter-of-fact tone,his mismatched gaze still and knowing.

Riddle clicked his tongue, brows furrowing. Idia's was the most sympathetic along with Kalim while Leona and Vil seemed ready to send a fleet of their army to storm into the human villages.

"I'm not really surprised though" Floyd spoke up lazily "He seems like a guy who'd do that kind of thing anyways"

"But now the Princes are stuck with keeping a human captive in their care", Boe,the young changeling from earlier, pointed out grimly.

"What if we sent you to negotiate with him in our stead?" Idia suggested which earned a rather hasty look from the girl.

"Human royals don't take too kindly to my kind,Prince Idia. I doubt he'd even let me enter"

Leona let out a menacing growl. One that reverberated through the tower walls.

"This is going nowhere. Riddle, go up to that damn herbivore and have them beg their brother come and pay his homage so we can give them back."

Riddle frowned.

"You heard the changeling,Leona. If their relationship with their brother is as bad as we've heard, do you really think they'd beg for him to come save them?"

"Couldn't you talk some sense in them?" Azul had eyes turning once more to the young changeling who all but reluctantly slumped her shoulders.

"I don't see how me being the one talking will get them to cooperate..."

"Clamshell,you should at least try,right?" Floyd's smile was sickly sweet and when he attempted to sling his arm over her shoulders, she avoided the outcome by shifting close to Jade.

"What would you want me to say to them?"

"The offer they gave" Riddle said "Have them elaborate more on that. I'm not going into a deal without knowing why it was proposed in the first place."

There was hesitation in her eyes but it was swiftly changed to a silent resolve as she nodded her head.

"I'll see what I can do."

[waywardfangirl]

I was incredibly fortunate to get to write for the wonderful @fight-surrender in the Carry On Secret Snowflake exchange, and she gave some of the best prompts I've seen. I ended up choosing to write a meet-cute (a meet-ugly, really) that takes place on the beach and centers around Simon's new fixation on the supposed dangers lurking below the waves.

I have to give a giant thank you to @foolofabookwyrm and @caitybuglove23 for being excellent betas, cheerleaders, and for helping me get the fic formatted and posted when my computer stopped working - you guys are the best! 💜💜💜

You can read the fic below, or on AO3!

Simon

 

I've always wanted to go to the beach. Growing up in care, I never had the opportunity to, but now that Penny and I are done with university and enjoying weekends without the threat of homework hanging over our heads, I finally can. Of course, we don't live close to the beach, so our day trip took some planning, but it gave me time to look up all the best places to eat, and it gave Penny time to watch every possible documentary about the ocean. I watched a lot of them with her, and while I know I probably won't see all of the tropical fish that swam across our TV screen, I'm still really excited to see the ocean. 

 

Unfortunately, I also happened to be in the room while Penny watched some show called “Predators from the Deep”, or something along those lines, so my excitement is also tinged with trepidation (or outright fear) of some of the things lurking under the waves.

“Sharks aren’t anything to worry about, Simon! They don’t want to attack you, and the likelihood of even seeing a shark here is extremely low.”

 

“It’s not the sharks I’m worried about, Pen! It’s all of the other stuff, all those little parasites, and the poisonous things, and the spiny ones.” The documentary was filled with shadowy shots of spiked balls and spotted tentacles just waiting to attack some unsuspecting wader.

 

“Don’t eat any of it then,” she replies, hardly even paying attention to me as she smooths out her blanket and sets up the umbrella.

 

“What?”

 

“You said you were worried about the poisonous things, so just don’t eat anything you find in the ocean.”

 

“They can hurt me even if I don’t eat them! What about that one octopus?”

 

“That was venomous, not poisonous, there’s a difference.” She squirts sunscreen into her palms and then slaps them lightly onto my cheeks, not allowing me time to squirm away.

 

“Whatever, venomous then, there are still things to be scared of in there!”

 

Penny ducks under the arm I have flung out to point at the ocean with, and grabs two waters from our cooler.

 

“You’ll be fine Simon, I promise.” She shoves a bottle into my hands. “Rub in your sun cream, and let’s walk by the edge of the water, alright? You’ll like it, we can find shells!” She starts off, picking her way through the sand and looking back only once to make sure that I’m following her.

 

It turns out that the water feels quite nice, even soothing. The sounds of the waves and the feel of cool water splashing my ankles combine to make me feel safe. They make me forget about the horrors lurking off-shore.

Penny has a handful of shells and has started handing me others to put in the pocket of my swim shorts. I’ve found a few shells of my own too, but I stopped paying such close attention to the ground about ten minutes ago, when I noticed a man about our own age playing in the waves with his younger siblings.

 

He has dark hair, originally falling around his face but now wet with seawater and slicked back to emphasize his widow’s peak. He’s still too far away for me to tell what color his eyes are, but as Penny and I walk closer I’m able to make out more of his facial expressions. He seems to be putting on sneers for show and occasionally gives bright smiles for the younger kids swarming him. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeved swim shirts, but it’s clinging tight to his body. He looks like he could be a footballer with all of the muscles I can see, even at this distance.

 

I’ve been trying not to stare too openly at him, but I can’t really help it - there’s just something about him that keeps drawing me in.It’s almost as if I’m under some sort of spell or thrall. Right now though, I’m extremely glad I’ve been so captivated by him, because I seem to be the only person on the beach who realizes the danger we’re all in.

 

Curling around the man’s left ankle are the tentacles of an octopus, surely about to stick its fangs into him and inject him with its venom (or whatever it is octopuses do to kill people).

 

"Octopus!" I yell. I’m at a loss for any other words, but I’m desperately trying to warn Penny as I sprint off to rescue him.

 

"Ooh, where?" She doesn't sound nearly concerned enough for the looming threat of death hanging over us all, but I'll talk to her about taking proper safety precautions later. Right now, I have to go save the life of the prettiest person I've ever seen.

 

"Octopus! Octopus!" I can't seem to make any other phrases come out of my mouth, but eventually the man looks up to see me barreling towards him, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. He raises an eyebrow at me, staying far too calm considering the mortal peril he's in, and glances behind him to see who else I could possibly be talking to.

 

Unfortunately, that means he's not paying attention enough to sidestep me when the combination of my momentum and adrenalin send me toppling into him. We both splash down into the small waves lapping at the sand and I scramble to extricate myself from his long limbs as quickly as possible, crawling down to examine his ankles and prepared to risk my own life if I have to pull the octopus off of him.

 

"What are you doing? " His voice is lovely and posh, the vowels round and smooth and expensive.

 

"Saving your life, mate, you're welcome by the way," I grunt as I make another unsuccessful grab for the tentacles.

 

"From what? All you've done so far is endanger me, pushing me down and holding me in the water." He pauses. "If this is your attempt at murder by drowning, I think I pity you. First, you caused a scene by yelling the whole way down the beach before you assaulted me, and now you're not even bothering to hold my head under this truly pathetic amount of water. You're an absolute disaster."

 

"I told you—" (why are these tentacles so hard to grab,) "I'm not trying to kill you, I'm trying to save you."

 

"Save me from what, exactly?"

 

Ha! I've got you now, evil cephalopod!

 

"This!"

 

I hold the octopus up in triumph, feeling the water drip onto my sodden hair.

 

"From… a clump of seaweed?"

 

"What? No. No, it's an octopus."

 

Slowly, I lower the mass in my hand down to eye level, and immediately I feel my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

 

"Oh. Right. Sorry, then."

 

I try to push back from him and stand up, but my hand won't release the seaweed (it really did look like an octopus!). When I try to move a wave hits me, washing the sand out from under my foot and making me flounder for a few moments, only compounding my embarrassment. When I finally look up at the man I accidentally assaulted, he seems entirely unbothered by anything. He's lounging back on his elbows, somehow managing to look down his nose at me even though I'm sitting up fully now, and it's simply unfair how defined his abs are, even under his shirt.

 

"Do you make a habit of doing things like this?"

 

His eyes are too intense for me to look at any longer, they're a grey color that seems to be shifting to reflect the ocean behind me, and I have to busy myself with peeling the green fronds of seaweed away from my fingers.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Attacking strangers or playing the hero, take your pick."

 

"Sorry. I thought it was an octopus and I didn't want you to die," I mumble. This prick should be grateful, where does he get off being so smug anyway?

 

"Why on earth would I have died from an octopus touching me?"

 

"Because they're one of the most deadly creatures on earth!"

 

"What? No they're not. Not the ones around here, anyway. The blue ringed octopus is incredibly deadly, but it lives in the Pacific Ocean."

 

"But, couldn't they-"

 

He levels me with a look that could probably set me on fire.

 

"Mordelia!" One of the children comes running over from where they fled when I tackled their brother. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, and while she isn't quite as dark and villainous looking as her brother she still has his same air of superiority. "Does this gentleman need to be worried about being attacked, maimed, or killed by any octopuses while swimming today?"

 

This kid - Mordelia, I guess - levels me with the most condescending look I have ever seen, and just scoffs . Actually scoffs at me, like I'm an imbecile. (Although, I still have seaweed stuck to me, so she may be onto something there.)

 

"No. Most accounts of cephalopod attacks can't be proven, and the few that have been entirely substantiated occurred in vastly different habitats or under circumstances that this beach couldn't support."

 

With that, she turns and runs back to the rest of her family, leaving me with only a parting eye roll.

 

"She's going through a marine biology phase."

 

It's the first thing the dark haired man has said to me in a casual manner, and I startle a bit. 

 

"Did you also have a marine biology phase?"

 

I think my question catches him off-guard, and I smirk.

 

"Perhaps," he answers after a beat. "But Mordelia's has been going on for three years now, so we think it may actually stick. Mine dried up after only a few months."

 

He smiles at me for the first time since I knocked him over, and it's almost painful how handsome he is, sprawled out elegantly on the beach like he's in an ad for expensive watches or cologne or something, and I can't believe I tackled him because of some stupid seaweed.

 

"I had a dinosaur phase," I confess, smiling back at him.

 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I reach down to help him up, and I'm shocked at how cold his fingers are, and how much I want to warm them up in my own. It's too bad I made such a horrible first impression, I would otherwise be sorely tempted to ask him out on a date. "What's your name, by the way? You've already attacked me, had we been in cars we would have exchanged names and proofs of insurance by now."

 

I’m such a mess. I didn't even think to ask what his name was.

 

"Simon. I'm Simon."

 

I go to shake his hand, and then realize that we're still holding hands, and I feel my cheeks grow redder still.

 

"Hello Simon, I'm Baz. It's nice to meet you, although the next time we meet I sincerely hope you can refrain from throwing yourself quite so bodily at me before we've even said hello."

 

"Yeah, umm, I'm sorry, really, I-" My brain catches up with my mouth. "Wait, did you say next time? "

 

His mouth curls up into a grin, and he gives my hand a squeeze as I try to figure out how I messed up so badly and things still worked out so well.

 

"Of course. For our first date, perhaps we can go to the aquarium and you can see what an octopus really looks like."

[fandominvolved]

Right in front of me | SamBucky

Summary - Sam gets injured, Bucky panics

Warnings - Angst, fluff, Blood, wound and none descriptive fight scene, Swears, Unconscious body, Mentioned of knife, stitching a wound with dental floss, Bullshit medical procedures (seriously.. is it obvious idk what I'm talking about?), bleeding trough bandages

He should have known.

Bucky should have known once he saw the shiny glint of the knife appear in the guy's hand.

Bucky should have warned Sam that he had a knife. But he didn't.

He didn't because he got distracted by one of the partners trying to punch him.

And he doesn't even remember who they were fighting; he just knows that one second Sam is fighting unaware of the knife and the next he's bleeding.

And it's awful.

It's awful because Sam wasn't wearing his Captain America suit. The one made of vibranium specifically for him so that stuff like this wouldn't happen.

And the groans that leave Sam's lips are going to haunt Bucky's nightmares for eternity. He knows it will.

But he can't do anything. Not now.

Not when there are still two guys to deal with. And Sam can put pressure on the wound on his own. He can do that.

And Bucky just barely manages to dodge a punch from someone, he was too focused on Sam he needs to get his mind back to the fight.

So, Bucky forces himself to ignore Sam's groans. Forces himself to ignore the bright red blood that was starting to seep through Sam's finger. And he fights.

He manages to wrestle the knife from someone's hand and stabs them. It's not going to kill them. He doesn't do that anymore. But it will hurt and leave him unable to fight. And that's what he needs.

Bucky scans his surroundings-- pretending that his eyes don't linger just a second too long on Sam-- and the other guy is nowhere in sight.

Coward.

He's a coward, he left his partner there writhing on the floor in pain.

And Bucky ignores the guy screaming in anguish, that would probably haunt him but right now all he can focus is on Sam.

Sam who's leaning against the wall with blood dribbling down his lips. Soft groans escaping his lips.

"Shit, Sam," Bucky whispered, he moved Sam's hands away from the wound and peeled the blood-soaked t-shirt from his stomach.

Sam winced, "Buck," Sam whispered breathlessly.

"Put pressure on it," Bucky's eyes were unmoving. They stayed fixated on Sam's stomach, watching as his abs flexed and unflexed continuously due to the intense pain.

Sam placed his hands over the wound, biting back a hiss, "wha're you doing?"

Bucky took off his jacket, ripping apart the sleeves, "What does it look like? Not like we can call an ambulance while undercover,"

Sam stared at Bucky through his half-lidded eyes, "could," Sam let out a shaky breath.

Bucky ignored Sam. He had to. Had to ignore the pained whispers and the way he tried to pull away from Bucky's hands as he started to apply pressure on the wound.

Because if Bucky acknowledged that the blood on his palms was Sam's, Bucky won't be able to stop himself. He won't be able to stop himself from shaking, trembling. While his mind supplied him with so many outcomes where Sam doesn't survive this.

And he can't do that.

Not when Sam needed him.

Expertly Bucky tied the jacket around Sam's middle, keeping extra pressure on the front, "We're going to stand up, come on,"

Bucky placed one of Sam's arms over his shoulder.

"Bucky-" Sam heaved out, a broken cough wrenching its way out of his throat, "wha' bout 'im," Sam's eyes, filled with tears, glanced behind Bucky. Where he left the guy bleeding out.

"Sam, he stabbed you, and you're bleeding out. Right now I could give less of a shit about him," Bucky slowly lifted Sam, keeping his vibranium arm secure around Sam's waist. Bucky waited a few minutes. "He won't die," was all that Bucky could come up to say as he felt the guilt in his chest get impossibly bigger.

Sam lowered his head, Bucky supposed it was meant to be a nod or well he took it as one.

And they started walking.

Left. Right. Left. Right.

Bucky kept eyeing the floor, making sure their feet were synchronized.

"Buck," Sam wheezed out, "I, I can't"

Even with such a short sentence, it took Sam way too much effort to utter out. Wordlessly Bucky nodded and slowly helped Sam sit on the pavement, his back against a lamp pole.

"God, what am I going to do?" Bucky muttered.

Sam closed his eyes, the harsh light causing his headache to worsen, "be'ind you,"

"Don't close your eyes dammit,"

Bucky was panicking. The adrenaline wore off and even the soreness in his muscles couldn't stop him from being terrified.

Terrified that Sam would die, bleeding out in a no-name street at night.

Sam slowly, with strength he felt he didn't have, opened his eyes. Squinting at the blurry figure he knew to be Bucky, "behind you,"

Bucky threw a glance over his shoulder. Barely paying attention to what he saw.

Bucky paused. And did a double-take. Behind him, a couple of feet away, there was a small convenience store.

Bucky stood up from the squat, and turned around, "Sam, It’s going to be quick, I swear. Just don't close your eyes,"

"I won't," Sam whispered.

"Promise me,"

"I promise," Sam let out another wet cough, his back slumping down even further against the pole.

Bucky nodded, "yeah, just wait here,"

He knew it was a stupid thing to say. It wasn't like Sam could leave, he could barely even keep his eyes open. But it helped calm Bucky down.

Even if just a little bit.

Bucky quickly walked over to the other street, throwing glances over his shoulder making sure Sam was okay,

Opening the window door, the bell letting out a little jingle, he sent a tight-lipped smile towards the half-asleep cashier. He quickly walked around the store scanning the shelves for what he needed.

Alcohol. Floss. Needles. Bandages. Pain killers. Disinfectant wipes. Scissors.

Bucky reached out with his hand and grabbed the Alcohol, only to pull his hand back almost immediately.

Blood.

Not just any blood Sam's.

Sam's blood was staring right back at him. Laughing in his face.

In his rush, he had forgotten he still had Sam's blood on his hands. Bucky swallowed down the bile that was threatening to come up and grabbed the alcohol ignoring how it felt slippery under his grip.

As quickly as he could Bucky grabbed every single thing that he needed. And some extras just in case.

He walked-- jogged-- over to the counter and threw a crumpled fifty-dollar bill. It was probably too much. He didn't care. Bucky exited the store and ran over to Sam.

"Hey," Sam mumbled, his face covered in a sheen coat of sweat and blood, "Took you long enough,"

Bucky nodded, carefully he started removing his blood-soaked jacket from Sam's stomach, "sorry," Bucky whispered, avoiding looking up to Sam's eye.

"It’s okay," Sam slurred, his hands twitching against his sides, "it’s okay, okay,"

And Bucky realized Sam was trying to convince himself that he was going to be okay.

"You're going to be okay," Bucky looked up and, finally, met Sam's half-lidded gaze. His eyebrows were scrunched up with wrinkles forming around the corner and his lips, which were coated in a thin coat of cherry red blood, were slightly opened letting out pained gasps.

"This isn't my first time doing it," Bucky whispered, looping the dental floss through the needle, "This is going to hurt a shit ton,"

That was the only warning he gave Sam before he carefully inserted the needle into his skin.

Sam's hand shot up and dripped onto Bucky's shoulder, his calloused fingers digging harshly onto Bucky's skin, "shit,"

Bucky as quickly as he could-- while trying not to hurt Sam-- finish tending to Sam's wound.

And this wasn't ideal.

He was using his right hand to handle the needle. His shaking hand. His vibranium arm would have been so much better, but he can't use it. If he did he would have ended up hurting Sam even more.

And he can't have that.

"Alright, it’s done," Bucky let out a sigh of relief, he let the needle drop onto the ground.

Sam let a pained smile graze his face, " 'anks,"

Bucky nodded as he grabbed the alcohol, "this is going to hurt,"

He poured the alcohol into the cap and spilled it over the wound. Sam's stomach clenched and the pad of his fingers dug even deeper into Bucky's bone.

Some of the blood got washed away by the alcohol revealing the lovely dark brown-colored skin that Bucky always loved to admire.

"Don't-" Sam heaved out as Bucky started opening the bandages.

"I have to,"

Sam shook his head, his teeth were biting onto his bottom lip, "hurts too much,"

"It'll get infected, and we have to walk to the motel," Bucky met Sam's gaze.

Sam stared at Bucky, his eyes normally so beautiful now dark as every single inch of him was consumed in pain. And he whispered out, "Buck," It was a plea.

A wish.

One he couldn't give to him.

But he could give him something else.

Bucky grabbed the bottle he had thrown onto the ground, the pills inside of it clinking together, "It won't stop the pain entirely, but it'll help,"

A compromise.

Bucky watched Sam's unreadable face. Watched as his eyes glazed over from the overwhelming pain, and his hand kept tightening over his shoulder. And Sam looked at Bucky until he gave a barely-there nod.

Bucky fished the water bottle he had bought and passed two pills to Sam.

Sam could care less that the pills had some of his blood on them. He just needed to feel something else than this burning pain deep within his body.

Bringing a shaky hand up to his face he threw the pills into his mouth. Dry swallowing them.

"Sam?" Bucky asked, showing the bottle to Sam, but Sam just shook his head and closed his eyes.

"Just do it,"

Bucky nodded, “Tell me if I hurt you,” Bucky with swift hands wrapped the bandage around Sam’s middle. Ignoring the few curse words that slipped Sam’s mouth. Ripping off a piece of tape, he placed it on the bandages making sure they were tight enough but not too tight that it aggravated Sam’s injury even further.

Bucky lowered Sam’s shirt onto the gauze, muttering a small apology as Sam winced.

“God, stay here. There’s no way in hell you’re going to be able to walk with that stab wound,” Bucky stood up, the muscles of his back protesting the sudden shift.

“What are you going to do?” Sam slurred, slumping his head back against the pole revealing the long column of his neck covered in a mixture of sweat, tears, and grime.

“Getting us a ride. Just don’t fall asleep, please,”

Bucky walked over to one of the parked cars. He hasn’t done this since he went to Wakanda, but it’s gotta be like riding a bike right?

Once you learn you never forget it.

Eyeing his surroundings-- letting his gaze linger on Sam for just a few seconds once again-- he smashed the car window with his left arm. Broken pieces of glass fell onto the seat and sidewalk. He threw the few pieces that were on the seat onto the floor and slid into it.

His hand reached blindly under the dashboard, there was a time where Bucky could have done this without thinking twice about it. Could have done this while focusing on the task at hand ignoring his surroundings while simultaneously being hyper-aware of them.

Bucky grabbed the two cables and cut off their ends. Getting started on hot wiring the car.

Maybe he should feel guilty that he’s stealing an innocent person’s car-- he wouldn’t be surprised if the car was the cashier’s-- just like he should have felt guilty about leaving the man writhing in pain on the floor.

But he doesn’t.

Not when all of his emotions are focusing on Sam. He knows once Sam is okay he'll feel the guilt, feel the slow torture of it filling up his heart.

But right now the certain guilt he had to learn to live with has been eaten. Overcome by a much bigger and scarier monster. And maybe if Bucky had a word for that feeling he wouldn’t be scared of it so much.

But he doesn’t.

He doesn’t have a word for it and it’s terrifying because this isn’t the first time he has felt this. It isn’t the first time because he remembers feeling it when Steve left. Feeling like his one constant in life was gone. And he was lost.

But it’s so different.

It isn’t like the fear he felt when he had fallen to his death. And it isn’t like the confusion he felt when he saw Steve after years of being tortured.

 

And this feeling. This new feeling was blinding Bucky. Was making him see stuff that wasn’t there. Was making him see Sam lying dead on the floor with a pool of his blood.

And that was dangerous.

So dangerous.

Bucky glanced back towards Sam once he got the car running.

It would be easier if he drove the car closer to Sam, so that’s what he did.

Once he was close enough he let the car running and got out. His eyes immediately found Sam’s slumped form.

“Sam?” Bucky was panicking.

Sam’s eyes were fully closed, and even though his chest was rising and falling erratically that didn’t stop the panic from spreading.

"Sam?" Bucky shouted, kneeling next to his unconscious body.

Sam twitched.

But he still didn't open his eyes.

"Shit," Bucky mumbled. This couldn't get any worse.

Bucky curled his arm around Sam's knees and picked him up bridal style. Letting out a soft groan.

Making sure not to hurt Sam more than he already was, he opened the back door-- after a bit of struggling-- and laid Sam on the seat.

Bucky threw a glance at the opened supplies that he'd thrown on the floor. He considered leaving them but decided against it.

Quickly picking up the stuff from the floor he jogged over to the driver seat. Throwing everything in his hands onto the passenger's side, hearing a soft thud as the alcohol bottle rolled onto the floor.

And he drove.

He drove down the dark isolated streets illuminated by the car's headlights.

His gaze kept switching back and forth between the road and the backseat. Bucky was scared. Scared that if he stopped looking at Sam for even one second he would stop breathing.

Bucky had lost everyone close to him. He couldn't lose Sam too.

Not when Sam had somehow made his way into Bucky's guarded heart and broke down every single one of his walls. Took away his armor and left it on the floor to rust. Took every single defense that Bucky had built and left him standing in front of him bare. Defenseless. Revealing every single secret, every single fear, that he had tried so hard to hide.

And it's funny because as much as Bucky liked to say that he hated Sam. That he was only with him since he had nothing better to do. There was nowhere else he'd rather be.

At some point, the shield had been his only family. His only sense of security. But now in some way Sam had become family-- and so had Sarah, Aj, Cass, and every single person that lived in Delacroix that somehow knew Sam-- and he accepted him.

Accepted him despite his past-- and his hideous hair as Sam liked to say-- and Bucky doesn't know what he'll do without him.

Doesn't know if he'll survive.

The sounds of clothes ruffling together and a pained whimper echoed from the Backseat. Bucky licked his chapped lips and threw a glance at the rear window.

"Sam?" Bucky asked as he saw him struggling to sit up.

" 'm fine," Sam said, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes shut tightly together in pain.

"You don't look fine," Bucky retorted, somehow managing to keep his eyes on the road and not turn around completely and stare at Sam.

Sam hummed, and as the rustling began to grow louder Bucky threw a glance towards the back. And his heart, which had felt lighter once he heard Sam wake up, got tighter.

"Sam, shit, your bandages," Bucky exclaimed, his eyes not once leaving the slowly spreading blood against the white gauze.

Bucky shifted his gaze from Sam towards the dark road, looking for a place to pull over.

Sam peered down at his stomach through half-lidded eyes, " 'ust be why it 'urts," He slurred.

"Don't move," Bucky demanded, his voice stern, even though it felt like his insides were being filled up with water and he was drowning in it.

"Wasn't planning on to," Sam lifted his gaze and dark brown eyes met icy cold blue ones through the rear window, "I'm 'ine,"

Bucky shook his head and pulled the car over to a small clearing, "You probably popped one of the stitches, somehow,"

"Somehow," Sam mocked as a wet cough tore its way out of his throat, "you used floss,"

"It always worked fine with me,"

Sam even though the pain managed to glare at Bucky. Although it didn't have the effect he wanted considering not a second later he shut his eyes tightly as the pounding pain in his abdomen distracted him.

Bucky got out of the car, barely paying attention to his surroundings; the only thing on his mind right now was Sam.

He wrenched the back door open meeting Sam's semi startled eyes.

" 'hat the car do to you?" Sam asked, tilting his head back onto the seat.

[alexhogh7137]

The Battle Between Love and Fire-

Ivar the Boneless × Reader

Chapter Twenty-Three Pt. Two: True Colors

Chapter Twenty-Three Pt. One

Word Count 3.1k

Warnings: heavy angst, fluff here and there

Hvitserk wraps his arm around your shoulder before Ivar decides to speak up of the matter at hand. Hvitserk knows that you are not going to take this conversation well so he wants to comfort you as best as he can. He and Ivar know that it is for your own wellbeing and your child's, they somehow have to convince you that as well. 

Ivar "I went to the Healer, Y/n."

"What..what did he say? Is the baby okay?!" You immediately began to panic and think of the worst possible outcome first. 

Ivar "No no no, she is fine sweetheart." You relax back down into Hvitserk's arm and fixate on your breathing to calm yourself down. "But you will not be if you keep not resting."

"What are you saying Ivar?" Ivar looks at his brother, who is trying to stay calm himself without breaking down into tears. 

Ivar "The Healer told me that you need to take it easy Y/n. The more you do, the more harm that it will cause to your body." 

Hvitserk "That is why you are struggling to walk..to do anything really. You need to focus on healing for not only your sake but also for our daughters." You take a deep breath and take in the information that is given to you. You understand their concern and as of right now, you are just as concerned as they are. 

"So you're telling me that I cannot fight? Do I have that correct?"

Ivar "As your husband and your king, yes. You cannot fight sweetheart. I can't lose you...I won't be the cause of your demise. If I allowed you to go out onto that battlefield, your body will certainly give out on you and you will die Y/n."

"But I would be on my dragon.."

Hvitserk "That will not help you. Your heart rate would be too strong for your body, you could have a heart attack Y/n. Your body cannot handle the stress of a battle, let alone a battle to seize your father." You sigh and look down at the little bump on your lower belly. Your daughter needs you, your husband needs you. 

"Okay." Ivar looks at you from looking down at the ground. "Okay, I won't fight."

Ivar "Y-ou aren't?"

"No. You two made me too scared to fight. And I understand what you are saying, Ivar. I mean I stood up so quick that I fainted.."

Hvitserk "All the more reason to rest and heal." 

"I will..I will try. I am a queen, it is hard for me not to rule."

Ivar smirks, "You are a wonderful queen my love. But the people understand that you need your rest."

"What all do they know?"

Ivar "That King Harald took you captive and held you in Wessex. And that you were tortured and raped. I did not go into detail, but they needed to know." You slowly shake your head. 

Hvitserk "But that does not define you, Y/n. You are a strong woman and queen. And you are going to be an incredible mother." You smile and nod in agreement. You don't really know what more to say. You feel defeated and so weak that you feel misplaced. You feel helpless.

Ivar "Honey?"

You let your emotions out and you burst into tears, "You will not win," Hvitserk holds you tighter and looks up at Ivar, "you won't...not without my dragon's. You'll die out there." You start to hyperventilate. 

Ivar "Hey sh shh..we are not going to die. And we are going to win."

"How?! Your army is down to few soldiers…"

Ivar "We have an Uncle, Y/n. He is a king of many many empires," Hvitserk looks at Ivar and smirks, "his name is Rollo. And we have sent a letter of utmost urgency to France. We are simply waiting to hear back from him. His army is greater and stronger than Harald's army. His soldiers are all Vikings."

Hvitserk "He will certainly fight with us. If we have him and his soldier's, we will have the odds in our favor." You try to wrap your head around this new sudden information.

"Why did you not tell me this at the round table?"

Ivar "Because we sent them out the night before, we have yet to hear from Rollo. We didn't want to give false hope."

Hvitserk "But he has fought with us before so why not now? We have not betrayed him, so we will surely hear from him soon."

"If he does not arrive, what then?"

Ivar "Then we postpone the fight until you are healed enough to fight." Hvitserk is stunned by his brother's words. He has never turned down a fight. Then again, your father has not come to start a war, we are bringing it to him. 

"You would do that for me?"

Ivar "Of course I would. I love you and you deserve justice." You force a smile. 

Hvitserk "Brother can I talk to you in privacy for a moment?" 

"Hvitserk?"

Hvitserk "We'll just be a minute, kitten. Finish your meal and we will be back in soon." Ivar and Hvitserk get off of the bed and walk out of the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hvitserk is not stupid nor is he naive. He knows his brother's schemes and when he is being devious.

Hvitserk "You'll postpone?"

Ivar "That is right."

Hvitserk "You have never done that before, Ivar. I am not stupid. What is your real reason why you would postpone?"

Ivar clenches his jaw and sighs, "Y/n is right Hvitserk. We would not win without her dragons." Hvitserk chuckles, "We wouldn't. If Rollo does not tend to us, we will have no choice but to call the attack off until she is healed."

Hvitserk "So let me get this straight. You would be willing to wait so that you could use your wife and her dragon's to win a battle?"

Ivar "Of course I would-"

Hvitserk "SHE COULD DIE IVAR!"

Ivar "That is not certain. She has not died yet has she?! She is strong, she is a warrior. She belongs on the battlefield. She would be fighting right now if she was strong enough."

Hvitserk takes a step back, "She is with child Ivar. How could you say that, hmm? What if she did fight today or tomorrow, and she died. How would that make you feel?"

Ivar "Devastated. I love my wife! But I would not stop her from fighting if her state was different."

Hvitserk "You know you keep telling yourself that you are different, that you are a different king and a different husband...but deep down you are still the same man that you were when you were married to Freydis."

Ivar chuckles, "Now that is not completely true. Freydis died because she betrayed me, Hvitserk. She chose yours and Bjorn's side over mine. She sealed her fate when she did that. Y/n is not Freydis, she truly loves me. She would never betray me, do you know why?!" Hvitserk does not respond, "Because she knows my past. She knows what I am capable of. Now do not tell me that I don't love her because I do. She means a lot to me and I would feel lost without her. That is why she is not fighting."

Hvitserk "Why do I get the feeling that the real reason why you aren't allowing her to fight is because if she perished in battle, the people of Kattegat would grow suspicious of yet another wife of king Ivar's perishes so suddenly?" Ivar stays silent, that is when Hvitserk knew that he was right. 

Hvitserk chuckles, "Look Ivar...if anything ever happens to Y/n..and I have any suspicion that it was because of you, I will not hesitate to kill you, are we clear?"

Ivar "I would never-"

Hvitserk "Are we clear?!"

Ivar snickers, "Yes of course, dear brother." When Hvitserk walks away and opens up the door, you are standing in the doorway with tears in your eyes. Hvitserk is stunned and does not know what to do while Ivar starts to walk over to you.

…

"So all of that was a lie, was it? That you loved me and that I deserved justice...that is why you would wait? You did not mean that."

Ivar "Of course I did."

"Ivar do not lie straight to my face. I am your wife, your queen. I deserve your honesty."

Ivar "Your dragon's would help tremendously during battle, yes. But I care more about your safety and your health right now."

"Do you love me?"

Ivar "More than anything!"

"More than victory?" Ivar does not say anything, "Answer me."

Ivar "Of course I do." 

"I...I need air. Where is Torvi?"

Hvitserk "Y/n-"

"Ubbe?!" You start to walk and shout for Ubbe until he comes running to you.

Ubbe "What is it?!"

"Where is Torvi?"

Ubbe "In our chambers feeding Ragnar, what is the matter?"

"Jus-tell her I need her when she is done, will you?" You don't let him finish before walking away. Hvitserk watches you take a fur cloak and throw it over your body and head for the cold wintery air. 

Ubbe "What has happened?"

Hvitserk "Its Ivar. He showed his true colors and Y/n is-"

Ubbe "Oh gods..what has he done?"

Hvitserk "He told me that he wouldn't fight because without her dragons, we would not succeed and Y/n overheard." 

Ubbe scuffs, "It appears that Ivar is turning to his old ways."

Hvitserk "I am not sure if he is completely, but he is definitely not in the right mind right now."

Ubbe "Is there anything else that I need to know?"

Hvitserk "Just help me keep her safe, will you?"

Ubbe "Always."

Hvitserk "We do not want her to end up like Freydis do we?"

Ubbe "That is not going to happen."

Hvitserk "No it is not. Go get Torvi. I'll go find Y/n."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He finds you huddled up in the snow in the middle of all three of your dragon's. They surrounded you, making you feel safe and loved. Hvitserk walks up and Ryuu begins to growl.

Hvitserk "Hey hey...easy boy...I'm not the enemy here."

"Ryuu...stand down." Ryuu lies back down and rests his head on his paws. Neith makes room for Hvitserk to enter. When he sees you, your face is red and your eyes are glassy from the tears that you have been shedding. He grabs you and puts you in his lap. 

Hvitserk "Hey.." you don't respond, "I know that you are sad right now and you have every reason to be, but do not let Ivar stunt your healing."

"Does he love me Hvitserk? You know him better than anyone."

Hvitserk "Yes he does. When it comes to power and victory, he turns into a more ruthless person. He cares for you and he loves you very much. He makes that very clear. But he also wants to win this battle. He wants to win this victory for you, to get you justice. But he will do what it takes to win that victory, no matter what the cost."

"I don't know what to say anymore."

Hvitserk "You don't have to say anything, sweetheart." He continues to hold you and lets you ride out your emotions and helps you calm down. A few minutes go by and Torvi comes to join you and Hvitserk.

Torvi "Oh you poor thing.."

Hvitserk "Do not pity her, just comfort her."

Torvi "Tell me what happened." You along with Hvitserk explain to her the events that happened and she was not at all surprised by Ivar's actions. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Ivar slipped up. 

"I know that he loves me, but I fear that he does not care about me or this child."

Torvi "Well luckily for you, his is not the father, Hvitserk is." You look up at him and he has a big smile on his face. You melt into his embrace and feel the warmth fill your heart once more. "And Ivar does care for you Y/n. He does, I can see it and everyone else can see it. But like Hvitserk said, when it comes to battle, he will use whoever and whatever he needs to succeed. In this case, he would use you and your dragon's."

"I understand why he wants to use my dragon's, they are used as weapons...but he told me that I am not able to fight."

Torvi "You aren't."

"But he said that he would wait until I was able...what if I refused? Then what would he do? Demand me to fight?"

Torvi inhales deeply, "Maybe, or he might take your dragon's without you. But that is not going to happen. You and your dragon's are staying in Kattegat and you are going to rest and heal...and grow that beautiful human in your core." You smile and feel much better. You don't know what you would do if you did not have the love of Hvitserk and Torvi. They both mean the world to you. 

"Can we go inside now? It is starting to snow.." Hvitserk looks up and smiles.

Hvitserk "You are making it snow! The air was still while you were somber and now you are happy..and it is snowing." Torvi looks at you and smiles.

Torvi "Perhaps your dragon's aren't the only one's that are powerful." You giggle and Hvitserk and Torvi walk you back inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours go by and nightfall hits Kattegat. You have not seen Ivar since this afternoon but you just keep to yourself. You know that when Ivar is ready to show himself, he will. But until then, you spend your time with Hvitserk, Ubbe, Torvi and their children. You hold little Ragnar in your arms and Hvitserk smiles down at the sight. All he can envision is you holding yours and his daughter. He can see a beautiful little girl with his blonde hair and your eyes, but she shares a mixture of yours and his smile. You gleam up at him and you see him staring with almost heart eyes. 

"What?"

Hvitserk snaps out of his own trance, "Just happy. That is all."

"Is that so?"

Hvitserk "Yes. You are going to be an amazing mother, Y/n."

"And you an amazing father."

Ubbe "That news is still probably the best news I have ever gotten besides Torvi telling me that she was with my own child." He says chuckling.

Hvitserk "Thank you, brother. You have not told our people have you?"

Ubbe "No I would never. But I want you both to know that I am happy for you two."

"Thank you Ubbe..for everything." Ubbe raises his horn for a cheers. Hvitserk and Torvi raise theirs and they clink. You sit there and take in this little moment. You know that once this seige happens, things will not be this happy...this calm. Ubbe looks behind you and clears his throat. 

"What is it?" Ubbe only raises his eyebrow to try and get you to turn around. Once you do, you see your husband standing behind you. 

"Torvi, take Ragnar please." She takes him from your arms but sits back down. Neither of them leave your side. 

"What is it Ivar?"

Ivar "I..I've come to apologize. I realize that I was wrong in saying that I would use your dragon's for battle..I am sorry." You slowly nod. "And I never want you to think that I don't love you, that I don't need you. I do love you and I need you more than you could know. My mind is in a chaos with itself..trying to figure out how to win this battle for you and your mother. You deserve this justice for everything that you have endured. And I apologize for trying to accomplish such in the way I suggested. If Rollo does not come to our aid, we will simply wait until you are better. Even when you are better and you do not wish to fight, you and your dragon's will not fight. Okay?"

You slowly nod, "Okay."

Ivar "You don't have to forgive me..I know that I was wrong but I just had to tell you that I am sorry. I love you Y/n."

"...I love you too." Ivar leans down and kisses your head.

Ivar "If you choose to sleep with Hvitserk again tonight..I will accept that. Goodnight princess." He walks aways and you turn back to the table. Ubbe and Torvi are staring and Hvitserk has his head down, staring at his plate of chicken bones.

"Can I have your opinion please.."

Ubbe clears his throat, "I feel like he was sincere. As sincere as he can possibly be."

Torvi "What are you going to do?" You just place your head into your palm and think to yourself.

….

Hvitserk walks you to bed and opens the door but you holt. He stops and looks back at you and realizes that you have made up your mind. He smiles and leans down to kiss your cheek. When he does, he pulls back but you pull him back down for a real kiss. He grabs your jawline with his left hand and your hips with his right hand. He kisses you until you pull away.

"I love you."

Hvitserk "And I love you. You know where to find me, sweetheart. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." You walk shortly down the hall to Ivar's chambers and open the door. He is already fast asleep so you tiptoe to your side of the bed, undress and get into bed. You pull the fur over you and his body. Once you are completely in, you snuggle up to his side. When he feels your presence, he awakes. He looks down at you in his arms and tears fill his eyes. He did not expect you to be in his bed, especially not after what he did today but yet you are here. He feels as if he does not deserve your love but yet you give it to him. He places his hand over yours and intertwines them. He uses the arm that you are using to wrap around your waist. 

Ivar whispers, "I love you." You simply kiss his chest as a I love you back. He will take that answer with a smile on his face. He could have lost you today, you could have left him but you didn't. He feels terrible but he knows that he did the right thing and apologized. And now you are in his bed and in his arms and for that, he is grateful. He leans his head down and kisses your hair, as he inhales the flowery scent, he falls back asleep.

@hvitserkmarcosource @a-mess-of-fandoms @ivarsgoddess @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @saldelys @motherofkattegat @conaionaru @readsalot73 @ivarzeitgeist @herestherealproblem

[420pogpills]

( just sending it again if u wanna answer it!)

Omg I want to talk to you about the final lore stream!!i'm honestly so happy how it turned out in the end!! I wasn't personally happy about the whole techno and dream teaming up that time but the finale was SO satisfying omg!!! I loved it!! If dream wrote the finale script then good on him! as a villian he still wrote himself "losing"... for the moment. which I was sceptical that would be the case since I thought Tommy or tubbo... or both, would die and dream would win since he seems like the type who would like winning and having the upper hand constantly lol but his acting and writing skills are truly so good rn. Kinda...hot if I may say so🥵

I actually wasn't into the lore from the beginning, I originally got into the lore the stream George got the kingship when he was building his cottage lol. I got into it in hopes George will have a bigger role in the lore and that knight dream x king George was such a yummy trope to me😭. But alas George got dethroned and didn't participate in the lore at all but by then I already have gotten lowkey invested in Tommy's "potential" exile and it all went downhill for me and got fully into the lore lol. My favourite part was Tommy's and Techno'd team up and their brotherly like relationship. I also enjoyed Tommy's and dreams interactions it was interesting and their friendship is so funny to me. Tommy loves to tease dream about George even in lore streams lmao.

I found it so funny and extremely grateful tbh that when Dream messaged Techno on twitter about needing that favour now when he was cornered and Techno was like "sorry can't im busy" LMAO like wbk that Techno cares for Tommy even if they fought. Peak siblings. I really wish in the future  to get more Techno and Tommy streams because they're so entertaining.Tommy is that annoying little brother to the big brother Techno haha. I saw some people say c!techno does not care of c!Tommy and idk man I think techno does care for Tommy but as we have seen techno is not good at expressing his feelings very well...lol kinda like Tommy. He shows his appreciation through loyalty and protection it seems. I just really love technos character so much I hope the next "season plot" won't ruin his character development.

I've seen also people say that Techno still owes Dream that favour and Dream will use it so Techno will kill Tommy or something like that.... bruh... I sure hope not. What do you think?? -🌰

god sorry for taking so damn long to get around to this! :’))) putting this under so it’s not such a long post

that finale was amazing indeed!!! i actually wasn’t expecting it, and there were still certain people there that i did not trust (mainly like punz and maybe sapnap) but now that we’ve gotten several prison streams, i guess everyone did actually turn against dream! when he went off with sam (and was it sapnap as well, or someone else omg i can’t even remember now) i thought omg what if the next lore stream someone turns up at the prison and he isn’t there? but he is so i guess yeah :P

i agree i really loved tommy’s exile arc because him and techno had such a great vibe! it was hilarious but also comforting because techno pretends like he can’t stand tommy but you know he cared for him for sure :’) and i think tommy turning against him actually hurt him real bad :(

and i loved that we got to see so much of dream too since he came to visit him almost everyday. we got to see incredible character development during the exile arc for dream, i feel like that’s when people seriously started to realise like okaaaaay dream is bAAAAAAd 

i don’t know if i’d say techno’s character is in the right place morally but i feel like everyone on the smp has their own ideas of what’s right and what’s necessary, and a lot of them mix it up with what they want. take tommy with his discs as an example. he was willing to risk his own AND tubbo’s life just to get the discs back and it’s like?? i know they mean a lot but how can they mean more than yourself and your best friend??? how is it worth it?? i mean alls well that ends well, but it could’ve ended way worse had everyone not come to help. he literally would’ve watched tubbo die in front of him just because he had to go and fight for these discs :( i mean dream probably would’ve eventually lured him in, i think his goal was always to kill tubbo to hurt tommy.. but sTILL tommy was very fixated on those discs :’)

i don’t see dream using that favour for techno to kill tommy i dunno, i don’t think he would. i think it’s possible he’ll use the favour to either break him out or do some sort of something to help him break out, but i’m not sure! i’m excited to see tho, lore has been very egg-centred lately so it’s gonna be interesting to see how the lore progresses. i’m not holding my breath but i pRAAAAY we get to see george or sapnap visit dream in prison. george is unlikely but sapnap is quite likely i’d say! and c!dream hasn’t mentioned george in ages since george hasn’t been involved in the lore and stuff, i wonder if him mentioning him recently was potential indication that he might dip his toes in again?? also the fact that they went to see the egg during george’s stream hmmmm 

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: I'm here in your postcode so like hmu if you need help Grace: after being a babysitter FOREVER kids crafts are TOTALLY my thing Ava: There's glitter on everything Ava: I'm going to have to pay to get their house professionally cleaned after this, I swear Grace: before you do I have to bring the boy over & 'accidentally' cover him Grace: cos he literally will not decide on a costume Ava: Yeah, he's crap at costumes Ava: I don't think I've even seen him in the obligatory devil horns Ava: mess up the hair, probably Grace: I mean, if my hair ever looked that good that'd be so relatable Grace: 😍😍 Ava: n'awh 😏 Ava: I'm glad someone appreciates the effort he goes to with the bleach Ava: god knows what I'm going to wear, the standard Halloween ideas aren't really applicable for a kid's birthday Grace: I love him but I hate him Grace: his eyelashes are better than mine as well Grace: right?! if his mum sees me in a lbd & cat ears she'll hate me more than she already does Grace: we could do joint costumes of a 🔪 in our backs though 🙄😂 Ava: What's she like? Grace: so rude Grace: she NEVER talks to me but the judgement is REAL 👀🔪 Grace: poor & a reformed hoe!? not in her house, honey Ava: and you didn't even homewreck her son's marriage so Ava: this is gonna be fun Grace: but I will if she tries to marry him off to some beautiful, rich, virgin or whatever Ava: I don't think they're that old school 😂 Ava: only if he managed to get a virgin pregnant Grace: don't even Grace: it's literally the one thing that would maybe score me points with her & I can't talk about it Ava: as satisfying as it'd be to throw out when she's being the most judgmental Ava: not worth it Ava: but you are gonna come, right? Ava: James wasn't sure Grace: yeah, I'm not trying to have a breakdown at her dining table soooooo Grace: of course we are, he practically begged me onto a flight to not have to go alone Grace: his sister has like 5 kids & Teddy can't deal with any of them Grace: what happens when you 👰👴 I guess Ava: Yeah Ava: I heard Ava: I just want them to have a good time Ava: James and the kids Grace: they will Grace: you've done amazing so far setting it all up Ava: there's nothing I can do to jazz up the guestlist Ava: it's bad enough that she might show but we can't plan for it Grace: Teddy thinks she will & Jay will have a meltdown, that's why he's totally dreading it Ava: I don't think she will Grace: idk but he's convinced Grace: he says she LOVES to make an entrance & bring drama Ava: Potentially Ava: I think she doesn't care enough about the kids, but that she doesn't intentionally want to hurt them Ava: just James Ava: there are better ways, after all, her parents are going to be there, they'd stop her before she could really do anything Grace: 🤞🏽 cos that does make sense Grace: & we all want you to be right, no offense to the bae Ava: If she's going to come back, she will, it'll have to be faced Ava: whether we're wearing cat ears or not Grace: yeah but like a 👶🎂 is not it Grace: even she must know that Ava: None of this is Grace: how's James? Ava: he's doing good Ava: considering Ava: it's a lot Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm avoiding Rio & Buster rn for a reason Ava: Yeah, he's mad at me Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: don't even worry he's mad at everyone for everything Grace: except Ri, duh Grace: like you said, it's a lot Ava: well it's kind of special circumstances Ava: he thinks I've picked a side Grace: cos it's that simple Grace: he's so extra & that's coming from me Ava: Maybe it is Grace: he wishes it was Grace: but it's not you & James vs him & Ri Ava: It's not that Ava: I just Ava: I don't think I agree with what he wants Grace: you want Jay to stay where she is Ava: Yes Ava: I think he's only thinking about himself Grace: well yeah, when isn't he? Ava: It's different Ava: it's two lives he could ruin Ava: three, Mattie too Grace: he's always done exactly what he wants however many lives it could ruin Grace: literally all you can do is keep trying to get through to him Ava: Yeah, that'll work Ava: like you said, he'll do what he wants Ava: but James won't just let her go, and if it goes to court, how has he proved he's a decent father? Ava: he's not acknowledged her, the possibility Ava: it wouldn't be as cut and dry as he wants it to be Grace: nothing is ever that cut & dry but ugh try telling Buster or Ri that Ava: Exactly Ava: isn't having Venus when they shouldn't enough Grace: don't even get me started Grace: it's such a mess Ava: it isn;t fair Ava: James raised her, stepped up Ava: had to deal with Chloe Ava: no one has the right to take her away now Grace: exactly Grace: they love each other Grace: you can't just break that bond like it doesn't exist Ava: for one that doesn't Ava: I don't want to pick sides, I love him, he's my brother Ava: but I can't say I'm okay with it right now, when I'm not Grace: he's being a selfish idiot rn though, you can say it to me, babes Grace: she's got a whole family here Ava: I know it's fucked, that Chloe told him he wasn't the dad Ava: but I can't get over that she told him he was Ava: you don't just Ava: why did he trust her the second time and not the first Ava: how could that be for anything but selfish reasons Grace: it's literally cos he wanted to Grace: & he's totally fixated on the wrong things, what does blood matter anyway? Grace: Billie's my sister not any one of the kids my dad had scattered across Dublin Ava: Maybe Rio said she'd leave him? Ava: but still, then he made his choice Ava: ugh Ava: I hate it Grace: me too Grace: everything is so Grace: fucked Grace: always Ava: how was your birthday anyway Ava: did you and Teddy do something nice? Grace: he did spoil me cos he knows my birthday is the literal worst & I tried not to brag TOO hard on socials Ava: Good Ava: you're only 16 once Grace: it's so weird Grace: being her age Ava: I thought about that Ava: on her birthday Ava: that she'd have only been 20 Ava: it seems so long ago, somehow Grace: like unless I die too now, I'm gonna be older than her Ava: they could take Libi if they want another child so bad Ava: alright, that was bitchy but nan and granddad won't be around forever either, I know they're not old old but Grace: they tried that already, so not really that bitchy Grace: god, she looks so much like her I actually can't breathe sometimes Ava: It's crazy Ava: and how big she is already Grace: did you see the 🎃 patch pics? It's wild, she's even dressed like Edie as a kid Grace: calm down nan Ava: I know Ava: I wish she had to chance to know her Ava: and her dad, of course Grace: yeah, I wish I'd known her better & I had way longer than Libi Ava: Like Billie's mum Ava: it's just sad Grace: idk maybe you get to 90 & you're still like I wish....whatever Grace: but like you said, it's unfair & I hate it Ava: It's never going to be something you can make peace with Ava: well, I don't think Ava: her life wasn't finished, it had only just started Grace: I don't think I wanna make peace with it anyway, it's not okay & none of us should just be okay with it Grace: but I can't cry rn so Ava: Me either Ava: I have too many sandwiches to make Grace: are you at home? I'll come over Ava: I'm at his but you can come over Ava: help me load up the car Grace: 👌🏽 omw Ava: You can have a cake pop early Ava: don't tell Jay Grace: 😂🤫 Ava: or more aptly, don't tell James she's already conned me out of two Grace: he'll definitely be able to tell when she's climbing the walls Grace: unless you've made a really convincing 🕷 costume too Ava: I know, I know Ava: it's bad Ava: but I don't think a little bit of excitement would actually hurt right now Ava: she's got to carry it, it's not like Mattie really has much of a clue what's going on yet Grace: & you don't want her feeling jealous & left out that you threw her baby sister such a great party Grace: that's the worst Ava: Yeah, she had hers in the Summer and it wasn't the best time, obviously Ava: I've tried to make sure she feels involved anyway Grace: Teddy can't believe how good you are with her, speaking of jealousy 😂 Ava: Kids pick up on your awkwardness, don't they Ava: like animals Ava: he just needs to fake it 'til he makes it Grace: mhmmm Grace: I told him it'll get easier the more time he spends with both of them, but you know what he's like Ava: Yeah Ava: at least no one is going to accuse him of trying to be their mother 🙄 Grace: 🤞🏽 she won't say it again in front of everyone 🥳🎁 Grace: awkward Ava: it's so patronizing Ava: it's not as if Chloe was a massive help Ava: he's done it himself this whole time, basically Ava: they don't need a mum Grace: she was literally the opposite of helpful Ava: at best she looked after them in the loosest sense of the word when he was at uni or work Ava: but 9/10 they'd end up with her parents so it wasn't as if she could be relied on Grace: are her parents coming? Ava: yeah Ava: I don't think they can even believe that she's done this Ava: gone Ava: I've met them a few times, dropping or picking the girls up, they're nice enough Grace: who'd wanna believe that about their family tbh Grace: but it's good that they're sticking around even though they probably wanna die if they've always been there Grace: the girls need that normality rn Ava: I'm sure they feel awful Ava: though James' family are blaming no one but him so they don't need to worry about judgment Grace: ugh I would kill Teddy if he sided with them Ava: I don't know if James knows he doesn't Grace: really? Grace: 🙄 boys never talk Grace: I'll talk to him, he knows how to show it even if he doesn't wanna say it Grace: they can go to the pub or whatever Ava: Yeah, I like, try not to comment or get involved Ava: know what it's like to have family drama Ava: but that's the feeling I've got anyway, it couldn't hurt them Grace: rich people need a bigger shove to open up, no offence Ava: 😂 it's a class issue, really Grace: in his family there's that whole stiff upper lip thing that I thought was totally not even a thing for the past however many centuries Grace: it's crazy, okay Ava: I know Grace: thank god he's the youngest or his mum would be coming at me to produce an heir Ava: you aren't good enough stock, obvs Ava: 🙄🙄 Grace: & she's only basing that off my 2 jobs & sexual history Grace: if she knew I was actually infertile she'd be giving him constant sti checks & changing the locks Grace: 😱😱 Ava: If you aren't titled and can't trace your family back to the dark ages, then they don't wanna know 🤷 Grace: so weird Ava: just how they are Ava: posh people Grace: yeah, it's wild, you should've seen the look I got when I said you were making sandwiches Grace: the boy does nothing for himself I swear Ava: he doesn't Ava: I've known him long enough Grace: Janis hated him on sight so at least you do actually know him Ava: doesn't really surprise me Grace: she only has 😍 for working class baristas so Ava: all my family hate James so you're doing better than me Grace: they just hate him for you, I've been there every other time Grace: they'll have to get over it & used to him eventually Ava: none of yours were married with two kids Ava: but still, yeah, they will Ava: or they won't, it's not like it's illegal so they can't do anything Grace: he's divorced now & literally deserves to be happy Ava: his happiness isn't their top priority Grace: yours should be though Ava: it is Ava: in that they think it's a mistake and I'll regret it Grace: if it is it's your mistake to make & regret to live with Grace: I've got 100000s Grace: 🤷 Ava: I can see their point, and what they're trying to do, without agreeing with it Ava: because I'm not as immature as they wanna say so Ava: it is what it is Grace: 👏🏽 Ava: I've got to do some homework, when you get here Ava: you don't mind do you Grace: it's fine Ava: it's due monday and I've barely started Grace: as long as Teddy doesn't ignore me for homework too Ava: awh, how could he Grace: idk maybe you're a better influence than me Ava: i'm not going to turn the party into a study sesh, don't worry Grace: 😂 I didn't bring any homework so I'm not worried Grace: I could probably cope with Jay's but I won't be telling her Ava: ✌ Ava: I highly doubt she'll wanna do hers either Grace: she can help me get him in the 🥳🎁🕺🎊 mood then Ava: 🤞 Grace: 🙏🏽

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Movie Night (ft. Cas's t-shirt)

THANK YOU for the ask, Dear Anon! I'm very flattered that you enjoyed the last one, and hope this meets your expectations! I WISH I could tag you in this, but you're on anon so.. Anyways, I went for Tuesday movie night idea, and clubbed it with a 'cute t-shirt prompt' I received and it got long AF but please leave a comment if you read and like!

*

"Ahh," Dean let out a perfect sound of exhaustion meeting the plush comfort of his couch. "It's finally Tuesday."

Sam snorted from the side, because his relationship with tuesdays had been kind of a love-hate. Not that Dean ever took him seriously - he doesn't blame his brother, really, because he wouldn't believe Dean either if he told him 'a piano crushed you to death' or any of those other ridiculous ways in which he'd died.

"If you like movie nights that much," Jack added, from the side - he was settled in one of the big chairs, looking more like a kid than he usually did. "Why don't we watch movies on other nights, too?"

Sam leaped to answer, ever ready to squeeze in a lesson for the nephilim. Good values needed to be a part of the upbringing. Children need to be taught by example. "There's an analogy we can use for this, Jack. Say, uh, Dean loves his birthday very much." Dean frowned at his brother. "Because of the pie, and the gifts, and all the beer." Dean shrugged. "So, he wishes on his birthday candles that everyday be his birthday!" Sam paused, and Dean wondered why he spoke as if he was talking to a kid, and not the strongest 2-year-old ever. "But, what happens then, is that he keeps growing a year older on each birthday - that is, everyday!"

Jack looked alarmed. "That's - bad."

"Yeah, because then I'd grow to be 60 in like a month and die." Dean added, in a deadpan.

"It won't take you thirty years to get to sixty." Sam reminded him.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean scowled and turned back to Jack. "Listen, kid, this isn't about all the good movies in the world getting finished too soon, if we watch 'em everyday. It's more about the attitude."

Jack nodded.

"Like, uh," Dean swallowed. "Like our dad always taught me and Sammy, hunters need to live a disciplined life. Can't just start watching a movie whenever, because that'll make your head feel like you're giving it permission to do crap, just like that, without a routine. That's never good for a hunter - even less so, he'd say, for the sons of an ex-Marine. Messes your head up, and takes away your ability to fixate on your decisions." Dean paused. "It's not like I've not watched movies on a Saturday because I wanted to, but the old man made sense - it's just, a routine is better to stick to."

"That sounds like a horrible amount of behavioral psychology to associate to an activity as trivial as watching a movie." Came a new voice, as Cas stood in the doorframe, his head just slightly tilted as his eyes looked straight at Dean.

Dean's exhale was caught in his lungs, and he blinked, staring at Cas with a chest full of air, and still feeling like he'd sink instead of buoyant. Cas was no longer in the trenchcoat and pants - he wore grey pyjamas which fit snug over his thighs, and a t-shirt which had to be new, because holy fucking shit.

He'd have noticed the angel walking around their bunker, wearing a black AC/DC shirt like that - simple, to someone else, perhaps - yet the way it fit over his biceps, widened his shoulders a bit more, and gave an elevated look to his chest because of the smooth descent to a toned abdomen - rendered Dean incapable of looking away. Complete with his hair sticking up at odd angles, hints of a stubble and inspecting eyes focussed on Dean, he looked like the stuff of Dean's (guilty, oh so guilty) dreams.

"H-hey, Cas." Dean cleared his throat, shifting on the larger couch to make space for him. He waved his hand dismissively to disregard all that he'd just said. "Forget about that, it was crap - come sit down." He suggested, breathlessly.

"Look who finally joined us," Sam addressed, in a normal voice and not even bothering to look up again - making Dean wonder why he didn't get all caught up in Cas's t-shirt, like Dean just had. He was unfairly attractive - but not just to Dean, right?

"I'm sorry," Cas replied, as he sat down next to Dean. Not a single part of them touched, since they were on opposite edges of a large couch Dean originally got for Sam and him - but there was still a tingling under Dean's skin, which had to be Cas's fault. "I couldn't find any socks." He turned to Dean, suddenly smiled, and tugged his pyjama up a little to show him the socks he wore. A pair of fucking novelty socks, they were - but Dean found himself grinning mindlessly, as Cas crossed his legs under him, and the visual was taken away from him.

"Of course, you couldn't." Sam inputted. "Dean hasn't been doing the laundry lately."

"Why am I the only one supposed to do it?" Dean threw back, and Sam didn't say anything to it.

"Nevermind." Cas declared. "I found socks, unwashed though they may be. Let us start." He referred to the movie.

Jack had fell silent for a moment, and he spoke up again. "Yeah! What are we watching today?"

At the same time that Sam opened his mouth - probably to drag Dean on how they better not watch something they'd just watched - Dean spoke up. "We're watching The Fellowship of The Ring, today."

"We just watched that on literally the third Tuesday of March -" Sam complained.

"Listen." Dean threw back. "Don't shove your crazy awesome memory with movies and dates, in my face - 'cause my brain forgot the movie already."

"Forgot? You probably can quote it line by line, Dean." Sam frowned. "But I guess you're not satisfied until you flawlessly recite it in your sleep, like Lost Boys."

Dean flashed his best shit-eating grin, and if that's what he was gonna do, he wasn't gonna agree with Sam. "Well, it's what we're watching, Sammy. Deal with it."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "What about Jack? Or Cas? Why don't you ask them if they want to watch Lord of the Rings again?"

"I do." Jack announced, brightly. "I like Frodo and Samwise Gamgee." Sam rolled his eyes. "But, I could also watch something else. I trust Sam's recommendations, after Harry Potter." He added, faithfully.

"Careful, buddy, Sammy's raising your son to be a nerd." Dean muttered to Cas, and he nodded, as if it was a line that needed to be answered with a nod.

Sam grinned like it was victory handed to him on a platter. "He said he could watch something else, Dean."

"What about Cas?" Dean turned to him, rotating in his seat. "Whadd'ya wanna watch, buddy?"

Cas pursed his lips, as if in deep thought. The deciding element. The one who'd tip the scales in the favor of one of the Winchesters.

"It's not Sophie's Choice," Sam grumbled sourly, as if he already knew what Cas would choose.

"Let him think!" Dean shushed his brother.

"I have reached a decision." Cas informed everyone, looking solemnly at the TV, instead of their faces. "We shall watch The Fellowship Of The Ring, tonight." He turned to Sam. "And if there's no hunts and we're at the bunker tomorrow too, Sam's choice shall prevail - that is, if Dean agrees to go against John's sayings and watch a movie on a Wednesday."

"That's fair." Jack grinned.

Dean beamed at Cas, with his little smile and his goddamn t-shirt, which was gonna drive Dean crazy in due time, he was sure. "See, Sam?" He ignored the comment on his father, because it was rare stilted humor, and in a perfect deadpan.

Sam muttered something under his breath which sounded a little bit like 'profound bond' for some reason, and rolled his eyes in defeated agreement, as Dean began to look for the movie.

"Whatever," Sam substituted, not looking up from his phone as the opening credits began to play. "The three of you can rewatch the entire LOTR series if you want, I'll just leave you to it." He shrugged.

"Hey!" Dean was annoyed. This was family movie night. Sam was supposed to be a part of it too. "Lord of the Rings is right up your alley, nerd. Why're you bitch-facing so hard tonight?"

"Well," Sam chewed on his lip. "It's very long, and I wanted to get to bed for an early night."

Dean narrowed his eyes, and hit pause on the remote just as the elves began to narrate. "Why?"

"No reason." Sam stalled. There was an almost familiar edge to his voice and -

Suddenly, it all made sense to Dean. The dots connected in his head, and Sam's reluctance to watch a three hours long movie was suddenly reasoned.

"Why, Sam?" Cas repeated, intrigued. "Are you alright? Do you not feel well?"

"He feels fine. I know," Dean cut in. "He's got a date." Sam's eyes widened before he vigorously shook his head in denial. "Some virtual crap, I bet, because you don't like to get laid, and an actual date may've involved that - but whatever is your idea of a fun time, hey, I'm not judging."

"It's not a date!" He declared.

"Then it's something like it." Dean shrugged, getting surer, with Sam's panicked expression. He knew his brother well enough to read through this cover. "Tell me Sammy, is this a video call with some chick you met online on those awful sites?"

"Dude, no." Sam balked. "I'm on no such awful site to meet chicks."

"Sure, you're not." Dean narrowed his eyes. "Then, who? Because clearly I'm right about the rest of it."

"It's," Sam looked like he didn't wanna continue, would like nothing better than to not finish the sentence. But with Cas joining in on the stare, he let out a subdued, "Uh, Rowena."

There was a stillness in the room. Dean and Cas slowly exchanged a look, and Sam flushed. "Who?"

"We know her, Dean!" Jack corrected, promptly.

"Not like Sam does," Dean shot at his brother, who looked flustered as crap, and it was all Dean had ever wanted from this conversation.

"Dean!" Sam looked grossed out, while it should've been them. He was the one dating a three hundred years old witch. "We're gonna discuss -"

"- if you're about to tell me you'll discuss a case, I swear to call you on your bullshit by calling Rowena right away." Dean challenged, definitely.

"I -" Sam pursed his lips. "I don't need to have this conversation with you, jerk."

"What about the rest of us?" Cas asked, and there was a smirk playing on his lips, which made him all the more attractive.

"None of you." Sam declared, standing up, looking offended. "You are literally infants! Don't breathe a word of this to anyone, Dean, or I'll - whatever, just watch your frigging movie, I'm out of here."

"If you're gonna do stuff, use headphones!" Dean waited until Sam was far enough to not hit Dean for it and yelled after him, as the latter marched out of the room, embarrassed. It was his duty as the older brother to make that happen, so no issues there. He turned back to Cas, grinning at him - and Jack, of course.

"The rest of us are here without the intention of leaving halfway to call a chick, right?" Dean asked, though it was a pretty stupid question for Jack - and if the answer were yes for Cas, he'd have a major-ass freak out right there.

"Right." Cas confirmed, for some reason; his voice rich and gravelly, and Dean's attention was once again taken by Cas's t-shirt - now that his kid brother was sufficiently out of the picture. True, Jack was still there, but that's a different issue. Dean had to hold a reputation in front of Sam, that he could control his senses in the presence of Cas, and that he could rein it in, and that he could do a lot of things which he was very far from, in reality.

"Me too." Jack announced, brightly, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Jack, you're two." Cas informed him, and Dean had to stifle a snort at the very notion. Nevertheless, he toned down the weird, made himself comfortable in the couch - maybe shifting a little towards the middle, and let out a small, content sigh, for the second time this evening.

He hit play.

*

“Why do we keep making the same mistake?” Dean groaned, his head falling back on the sofa. Once again, like every tuesday ever - they’d forgotten to get food before they sat to watch the movie. Now, around half an hour in, it was all Dean could think about. But getting up seemed like an awful chore.

Cas nodded his head in agreement, grave and earnest. “It’s because we don’t learn our lesson.”

“Dean, do you want to learn said lesson tonight, by not eating?” Jack asked.

“No.” Dean glared at him. “I may be around Mr. No-Food, and Little-to-no-food, but it isn’t wearing off on me.” They’d not paused the movie to have this discussion, so he kept his eyes on the screen as he spoke. “As a human, I have a few simple needs. Such as beer and something like popcorn to chew as I watch a classic with my - I mean, with you guys.”

“Okay." Cas shuffled in his seat, beginning to stand up. Dean frowned instantly, and pulled him down, gripping his wrist. Cas easily succumbed, and was back on the couch with a surprised little bounce - looking at Dean, confused. "What? I'll get you the beer and popcorn, so that you don't have to get up. I can obviously see you don't want to."

Aww, Dean's brain melted.

"Nope." He said, out loud, popping the 'p'. "You don't need to do that. I'll go."

"I volunteer, Dean. It's not about need," Cas protested. "And you enjoy this movie more than I do."

"Sure, but I've watched it a helluva lot more too." Dean raised his eyebrows, and Cas smiled a little, one of those smiles that he reserved for Dean, and made his insides flutter.

"We could just pause it." Jack suggested, not looking away from the TV yet, for the entirety of the conversation.

"No, you keep watching, there's no need," Dean excused, standing up himself, smiling in spite of himself. Cas looked at him, and not at the screen.

"Dean," And that wonderful voice of his swept over Dean's brain and made the puddle vaporize or some shit.

"Yeah, Cas?"

"I could keep telling you what's happening, while you're in the kitchen." Cas proposed, breaking into a wider smile, all crinkly and toothy.

"Aww, Cas," Dean couldn't stop himself in time, staring blindly at Cas's face and short-circuiting in his head. And instantly cleared his throat, and added in a more composed tone. "Okay, you do that. Thanks, I guess."

Dean wondered, as he walked into the kitchen and went looking for the bacon he'd made earlier, what was up with him tonight. He was usually able to hold his tongue in front of Cas - he was usually able to look away from him, even though it took some persuasion. But there was something today, that had taken away his brain-to-mouth-and-eyes filter.

Must be the new shirt.

Dean knocked, obnoxiously loud, at Sam's door before barging in with a plate of bacon and a beer. He saw Sam fast asleep, on his front, and did not know where to go with that, so he left the table at his bedside in case he was going to wake up and resume his midnight call or something.

Then he took the rest of the food and two beers and went back to the movie room.

All through his venture, Cas had kept yelling updates through the door. "Merry and Pippin just hugged Frodo!", "And now, Frodo just met Bilbo again!", "Arwen is speaking with Frodo now!" This had made Dean grin so hard, that he almost dropped the dishes. Damn, Cas was awesome.

As Dean handed him a beer, and put the plate of bacon between them on the couch, Cas whispered to him. "And Arwen just kissed Aragorn, son of Arathorn."

And Dean stared at Cas, his blue, blue eyes and his eyebrows pinched together in concentration, and his crinkled nose - and his goddamn voice, and his way of speaking, and how he just said the words 'Aragorn, son of Arathorn' like an entire fucking dork, and how adorable it was that he'd been doing a live-commentary for Dean, and just - he was almost overpowered by a desire to kiss the perfect little smile tugging at his lips, and palm the stubble-covered cheeks, and maybe, if Jack weren't here, pull that gorgeous fucking t-shirt over his head, because it was distracting.

Dean was instantly taken aback by his own stream of thoughts. He was clearly going crazy.

He could bet it was the fault of the shirt.

*

Okay, but at this moment, Dean needs the remote.

And it's not just because the remote is on the other side, next to Cas, and Dean's brain instantly launches into a scene in his head, when Dean asks for the remote and Cas is too comfortable (he's already holding onto a large cushion like it's a blanket) to move, and he tells Dean to take it himself - and then Dean will have to lean over Cas to get it, and there'll be a moment where he's almost on top of him, and they'll happen to look at each other, and Cas's eyes will flit down to Dean's lips as Dean adjusts himself to reach the remote, on Cas's lap, and maybe Cas says something like -

That's enough.

Dean doesn't need the remote so that something like that plays out in reality. He only needs the remote to lower the volume, because Jack is asleep and he'll wake up otherwise in the war scene and noise that'll follow.

But this way or that, he can see the said scene happening.

Maybe there's a part of him which wants it to happen exactly how it happened in his head.

Maybe it will.

So, with more energy than the sentence needed, he says, "Cas! I need the remote!"

And Cas turns his head to look at Dean, an incomprehensible expression.

But instead of saying a variation of, 'take it yourself' like he was really, really supposed to -

He picks up the remote with his left hand and hands it to Dean simply.

Dean stares at it for a moment, everything forgotten, especially the reason why he needed the remote in the first place. And then he kicks himself for being a goddamn teenage girl about this, and plays off the disappointment with a 'thank you' in the manliest voice he can conjure, and he's pretty sure it makes up for the kind-of-but-not-really pornography he'd been dreaming up. Sam's irritating voice nags in his head, you're confusing reality with porn again.

Of course, Dean is too lost thinking and staring at Cas sideways when he's sure Cas can't see him - to remember to lower the volume, and Jack wakes up with a jolt at the Uruk-Hai screeching at Gimli the dwarf.

*

Jack's going off to his room. The movie isn't finished yet, but he's been dosing off throughout and Dean can't tolerate the insult to the Classic, so he tells him to just go off to sleep. It's been a long day.

"Will you both watch it whole?" Jack asks groggily, before leaving and Dean looks enquiringly at Cas. He only has to turn his head a little, because Cas is much closer to him now. They've both gravitated towards the middle.

"Of course." Cas answers. "Unless Dean needs to sleep." Dean shakes his head confidently, and Jack nods.

"Okay, goodnight dads." He mutters, at least it sounds like it, and Dean would've lost it if Cas's slight weight leaning on his arm weren't grounding him to his current location instead of somewhere panicky in his head.

"Goodnight, Jack." Dean lets out, and he's aware it doesn't sound as constipated as he thought it would, and he's proud of it.

"Dean." Cas speaks up, a moment later. "I think we should turn off the lights."

"What?" Dean blinks, mildly.

"I know neither of us will want to get up later." Cas justifies. "So we might as well do it now."

"Can't you," Dean grumbles. "Can't you use your mojo to push the switch, or..?"

Cas sighs. Then blinks, and the entire room goes dark. Cas's eyes open, and they're gleaming like blue halos of light in the suddenly dark room - and Dean can still make out his face, in the light of it. It's all hard lines and small smiles, from the little he sees. "I need to remember I can do these things, don't I?" He mumbles.

"Yeah, our human incapabilities are wearing off on ya." Dean tells him and they start looking at the screen again.

"You're not incapable if you have to stand up to turn off the lights." Cas replies, and Dean just hums in response.

A little later, Cas speaks again, and he sounds happier almost. "Dean."

"Uh-huh?" Dean looks away from Gandalf on the screen, to look at the angel.

"Did you notice Jack kept falling asleep?"

Dean pauses. "Oh." He smiles too, it coming over him all of a sudden. "Yeah."

"That means," Cas's tone is bright, and Dean can hear his smile. "He's enough human to fall asleep in the middle of a movie, again."

"Human incapabilities strike again," Dean teases, and Cas chuckles audibly and it's a really, really good moment. Although yeah, it's a bit too domestic for Dean to be perfectly at calm - Cas and he are sitting in the dark, watching a movie they've watched so many times before, discussing the progress of the nephilim they've been raising (with Sam, of course) and Dean has his hand around Cas's seat - in what he now feels guilty on realizing is the oldest trick in every guy's playbook. They're both more in the middle of the couch than not, and the beers have been drained to the last drop. One of them doesn't sleep, the other won't - and then there's Cas's perfect t-shirt, which shall drive Dean to madness each time he sees it, and beyond.

*

Slowly, the arm which is on the couch, falls on Cas's shoulder - and it's a rather rapid course from there to it being slung around Cas, with Cas tucked under it and leaning into Dean so that it's comfortable.

It's not that Cas's head is on Dean's chest, or not even that his fingers are playing with the fabric of Cas's shirt - its just that they're so close to doing that, and somehow Dean can't pull back this time.

Like, he suddenly realizes, he's been doing forever.

It's again, a good thing that he pretty much knows LOTR scene by scene, and in spite of almost completely being distracted by everything Cas, he answers all trivial questions Cas mumbles at him in that deep, deep baritone - and there's a heat pooling in Dean's insides, and he can't quite place if its the spot behind his ribs, or further south.

Both sounds most appropriate.

*

Dean is not proud of this, but he fell asleep.

It's not that he didn't finish the movie, because he did - he remembers the last scene (or it could be from a previous watching that he recalls it) but it's just that he fell asleep right there. Next to Cas.

No, not even next to him. Pretty much wrapped around him. And somehow that's - not so wild, after all. It kinda feels awesome. Its not even morning yet, so he has more hours.

He wakes up with his hair tickling his breath and coughs mildly when he realizes that he'd buried his nose in Cas's hair - and his lips on his head, apparently. He straightens, but is sure to not make much movement - because Cas doesn't sleep like they do, he rather drifts off to a sorta-catatonic state but stays very much awake and alert. He doesn't want to wake Cas up, because the angel looks so comfortable, nestled on Dean's chest - that it somehow invokes a feeling of pride in him.

And love.

And that's that. The not-freaking-out segment of this story abruptly comes to an end, and Dean clenches his fist to stop himself from beginning to tremble.

He ends up with a fistful of that goddamn shirt which Dean blames for everything in that night, and Cas stirring awake, and straightening. The weight rested on Dean's abdomen is lost, and it feels weird and colder.

"It's seven minutes to four. Ante Meridiem." Cas announces, in a voice which is roughened by lack of use.

"You should go back to sleep." Dean begs, because Cas doesn't need to see Dean get anxious about the whole pile of feelings he's beginning to feel crushed under.

"Dean." Cas says, in that voice, and straightens some more. He's at Dean's height again, and their noses are inches apart, and Cas looks worried about him. "Dean?" He repeats, and he's concerned, and he's perfect, and his voice is something else, and the way he looks at him is something else like Dean is worthy of all his attention somehow - and the emotions are brimming and he doesn't know what to do with them until he -

He jerks himself ahead, and grabs Cas's shirt for good measures, pressing his lips against Cas's.

It's a moment of bravery, it's a moment of impulse, and it's a moment of utter stupidity because Cas doesn't react -

Until he does, and he kisses back, and he's excited and into it and Dean's taken aback by his vigor and in awe of his own hands which are grappling at Cas's t-shirt for friction as he moans into Cas's mouth.

"I blame the t-shirt," He whines, when they pull away, to look at each other better. And he does.

Of course, he's not an idiot (except for the many times that he is). But what he definitely isn't, is dense enough to not realize that this had been over ten years in the making.

These urges were familiar, and suppressed each time - the sudden feelings were overpowering, except he'd learn to deal with them tactfully, by crushing them with every means possible.

But what had changed today and he'd actually acted on it instead of swallowing it, had to be the tee. It fit like magic, and it perfectly showcased his lean, muscled chest - and gave a peak of his collarbones, and if he stretched, his obliques - and it was as black as his hair in the dark, and ah, it had to be the shirt.

Because otherwise, he didn't know what it could be, that had made tonight - today - this.

Cas still had his hand on Dean's bicep. "This one?" He looks down at himself. "I got it from your closet months ago."

"What -"

"And, you blame it?" He repeats.

"No," Dean shakes his head, anxiously, truthfully as he captures his lips in a kiss again. Slotting in place against each other, and as loving as they were passionate - he had had no idea that kissing Cas would be this amazing. "I love it. I'm gonna need you to keep wearing it. On Thanksgiving, I'm gonna be thankful for it."

Cas laughs against Dean's lips, and says something which is lost in the bliss of the moment.

Nevermind. He has all the moments after this, to listen to him. But he only has this one, at the end of a Tuesday movie night, to enjoy their first kiss (he's pretty sure all the short, little kisses just make up one major kiss). So he does.

*

Edit: Thank you for reading! Would like to tag @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @all-or-nothing-baby @styggtroll @notyoursweetbaboo @moderatelypanickedbisexual @but-for-the-gods-three-days and @emmii4 ! If you don't wanna be tagged, I'll remove you from the list, just ask! Have an awesome day!

[phantomchick]

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The Lost Bird Sang To A Penny Pincher: Harvey Dent redemption au, he finds Jason after he comes back from the dead and brings him home to Bruce.

- Space For Three Okay so the locked in a closet trope But it's Slade, Jason Todd and John Stewart (my favourite green lantern hell yeah) locked in an escape pod in the middle of outer space like there's basically a sort-of-bed and nothing else and no one can stand up all the way because this was intended for one person to lie down comfortably There was only one escape pod? Oh my god there was only one escape pod! Poly smut oneshot. A gift fic for heteronym, because they're the one who begged me to write it and I only added it to my official wip pile because of them.

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A Brother to Share Naruto warring states au fic where in the aftermath of losing some of their younger brothers and connecting with each other on the river, Madara and Hashirama find a slightly younger blonde boy without a clan to protect him, will the bond of this secret, bind them through the revelation of their heritage? A few chapters I think.

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Powerless Sniper Bnha Au where hero teacher Snipe is secretly quirkless. Features the wonders of job discrimination and Snipe clocking Midoriya for what he is immediately. Intended as a oneshot, may grow into more.

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Lost Generation / Dead Generation Haven't decided which to go with for the title. Naruto time travel fix it where all of Naruto's generation (so the rookie 9 plus Lee, Neji, TenTen, Sai and Yakumo) go back in time to the third war era, only thanks to rikudo senin magic, it works a little like reincarnation so they all have identities in this world already but they get to keep their names. e.g. , Ino's 'mother' in this world is a severely delusional yamanaka and was left alone with the nurse mistakenly believing she was a clan heiress and had the right to name her daughter with the Ino characters, it went down on her birth certificate as a result. The others all have backstories of their own as well. Features, Minato being a good person and understanding where kids who grew up fighting wars are coming from with their jadedness. Also team 7 adopts Kakashi. Longfic if I ever write it properly.

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Where you're at and Where you've been JaySteph fic featuring Jason having feelings about being murdered and Steph realising she has feelings about her murder too. Oneshot currently have a few thousand words written.

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a phoenix from ash as hope from a child Harry Potter fic, a what if where things go differently and Sirius lives

- Symbols, Signs, Symptoms "Harry Peverell, a half-blood whose family was on the run from Grindelwald’s forces. You ran around Europe, hunted by his forces. Unfortunately, you were found, and your parents sacrificed themselves for you to escape." Tom smiled sympathetically, "Tell me, what was it like being on the run?" Time travel fix it.

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Forge These Chains Like A Promise Naruto au where he gets more in touch with heritage early on. Multichapter fic. Sasuke and Sakura are assholes until they're not.

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The Bells Ring, The Spirits Sing Naruto time travel fix it that runs with the idea of the bijuu being actual folklore creatures and Kaguya being an actual goddess, also clan culture world building because that kind of thing is fun.

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Coalesce Jason Todd fic, Jason gets to be sad over his place in the family, a faltering journey home. Intend to gift it to envysparkler for all the inspiration their fics gave me. "I only eat to fill me up I only sleep to rest I need a love just like you gave I haven't found it yet, found it yet." 5 chapter fic.

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List of wips - aka struggles

Call Me A Jason Todd fic I started two years ago and still go back to poke at longingly, will the second and final chapter ever be posted? Who can know for sure.

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I tell myself that I don't need Anyone (But the truth is no one needs Me) Another Jason Todd fic I haven't completed, posted two years ago for whumptober, it was the only day of whumptober I participated in, intended to be full of Captain Atom and Jason Todd interacting during the fall out of Bludhaven getting chemo'd but he doesn't show up in the first chapter and have you ever tried to read Infinite Crisis? It's a fucking mess. With this wip I have a close to justifiable excuse in that I refuse to write without knowing the canon, and reading through all the canon that's relevant is A Task.

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The Monster in The Man A Merlin fic floating around my drafts, currently at a good bit over 5k wherein Merlin gets POSSESSED by an old enchantment gone mad. Written because a Merlin fic I read ended on a horror style cliffhanger and I couldn't handle it so I charged my way through the first 2k of a sequel and I've been adding to it ever since. Angst with a hopefully happy ending, if I ever frikking finish it.

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The Dragon Lord In the aftermath of his father's death after Merlin inherits his father's dragon lord abilities he notices some minor changes to his interactions with his friends, the thing is that Merlin is a dragon lord and unusually what he hoards is people, things might just turn out the better for it.

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Maelstrom A Naruto time travel fix it fic that wouldn't leave me alone until I got the first chapter out, ironically it has left me entirely alone since I finished the first chapter and I have no idea if inspiration for it will ever return or when that will be.

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You Don't Know Anything Long long ago in a land of asks and a time of legend @paradise-runway sent me a fic request for "one where the other Bat boys find out the circumstances of Jason's death and resurrection and their reaction?" it has been lingering in my drafts haunting me ever since, someday, someday I shall fulfill what has been promised.

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Of Curses and Covenants A longfic exploring the magical underbelly of Gotham's history, focuses on the intertwined relationship of the Wayne Family and the Zatara Family brought about by how often Waynes through the generations have ended up being cursed. I have an index of all the curses ready, the problem with this one is the plot and the story.

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Vicki Finds a Bat (temporary title) Vicki Vale stumbles upon a still alive young adult Jason Todd at a wafflehouse on the way back from snooping into Cobblepot's latest criminal schemes. Convincing the young man to go back home to his loving father might prove more of a challenge than she thinks however. (will have a happy ending if I ever fucking finish it, for now it looms in my drafts like an unhappy gargoyle)

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Hug Deficit A fic about Jason being touch starved and his family fixing it, hurt/comfort all the way, post resurrection.

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Stephanie Brown and The Mansion of Man Pain Robin Era Steph, she and Alfred have pumpkin spice lattes together, it's their thing because I say it is. Includes, Alfred raised 5 boys counting Bruce, he's not sure how to handle a little girl and Bruce trying to dad plus Steph trying her best. Would be a lot easier to write if I was any good at comedy.

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Another Time, Another Place Some twenty years or so after their death, Martha and Thomas Wayne appear in the middle of Wayne Manor's ground floor parlour room, the major problem with this? Not only are Bruce and Dick away, Alfred's on holiday in England! Which is why Jason as the eldest has been unwillingly nominated by his younger siblings to deal with the situation at hand. Martha and Thomas in this are heavily inspired by @unpretty's amazing portrayals in her fics with them.

- Queen Blackfire and the Lazarus Lord An au with Soulmate identifying marks: Jason Todd was having an okay time as de-facto leader of The Outlaws, a band of misfits and rebels with hearts of gold (or at least silver) saving the world the best they could and filling in the gaps the more straightforward heroes tended to miss while they were at it. Then he found out he was soulmates with the Alien Warrior Queen bent on declaring war on planet Earth if the Justice League didn't find her soulmate for her. Things with his friend, team mate and potential future sister in law Kori just got super awkward and the only good thing he can find about this situation is how angry (and protective? But maybe he's just imagining that) Bruce seems over the whole thing.

Side note: Kommand'r freaked out during the years Jason was 'dead' and accidentally brought peace to a huge chunk of space and intergalactic society via building up her empire after throwing herself into work to escape the grief.

- To Grasp The Hand of a Fox Naruto and Kurama travel back in time to save the world but unfortunately they land in the same moment that Kurama's just been put under a genjutsu by Madara Uchiha, Naruto has to make his way to Konoha and wake Kurama up before the villagers seal him away inside Mito. Can he save his friend in time to save them all?

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Those Winter Sundays Mcu fic. Snapshots of Tony working hard for the avengers and no one noticing. Civil War Team Iron Man.

- Salvation Rides a Solar Wind Iron Man fic in a Science fiction / Western style fic where Tony's presence is described through the eyes of the aliens he helps. Au where the war with Thanos goes very differently. The type of fic that needs like 5 multi chapter fics in a single series to truly shine, hence why I will likely never finish it.

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And We Break Away Again Jason goes back to Talia after Damian is brought back from the dead by Bruce. It's not that he begrudges his little brother his resurrection, the opposite, but he can't ignore what Bruce did to him by taking him to the magdala valley and he can't ignore what Bruce doing for Damian what he didn't do for him, (do for Dick, do for any of them besides the blood related one) means. So he decides to go back to the only person who ever seemed to understand why he wanted to avenge himself in the first place, the only person who seemed to agree that he had a right to be angry that he'd died at all, the only person he can trust to hold him together while he feels like he's falling apart that won't judge him against the heroic mold while they're at it. Not sure if this will be a oneshot or a series but we're going good Talia with this one regardless, DC's been ruining her lately but through fanfic all things are possible so fuck them.

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Fan The Flames In the aftermath of a magical fire taking hold of the Daily Planet in Metropolis, Superman is missing, can Batman and the rest of the Justice League find their friend as well as the identity of the evil arsonist before Lex Luther does it first?

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In a Whisper (In a Wish) Ichigo Kurosaki protects people, it's not just who he is, it's what he is, down to the core of his very soul. The only problem is, that a few weeks ago he sacrificed half his soul to protect the world. It aches inside where he knows something important used to be. When everyone he cares for is avoiding him and he's starting to feel more like a shadow than a person, that aches at him too and he can't help but wish, quietly, privately, painfully, to himself if no one else that things were different, that he wasn't so broken or so alone. But if wishes were fishes they'd fill a whole sea (just be careful not to whisper them within the hearing range of the Hōgyoku).

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An Honest Conversation (Is A Bitter Thing To Crave) Jason kidnaps Bruce but things don't go as Bruce expects. First of all the reason Jason was able to kidnap him was because Stephanie of all people was his insider, why would she support someone Batman knows she's only met once. And second of all the reason he's been abducted - So that Jason can drug them both with the same substance. And when Bruce asks what he's doing this for Jason only responds, "We don't trust each other enough to have a truthful conversation otherwise" and refuses to say anything more while they wait for it to kick in. What will be revealed by this forced honest encounter on both sides? -

carrying the world on thin shoulders Midoriya Izuku deserves better from literally all the adults in his life so this is part whump part hurt comfort part fix it fic that sprawls out from time to time but it's pretty bad tbh, at some point I'll probably make it neater and give it something resembling a coherent plot. Hopefully. -

Trust Issues HP fic. Harry gets dosed with a potion that's supposed to reinforce your strongest survival instinct, the person who drugged him might've intended to be helpful but said potion happened to be at extra strength and he was given what would be a normal fix for the regular version but for this one is twice the recommended amount. Great.. The biggest problem about all this - beyond his internationally wanted godfather Sirius endangering himself by hiding out in a cave near Hogsmeade against all rational advice, his best friend Ron hating him, everyone in school besides his other best friend Hermione also hating him or avoiding him and the entire Goblet of Fire problem - is that he can't bring himself to trust anyone enough to tell them what's wrong.

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Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies A post marvel avengers story, thor pov probably, made because I like to dive into a pool of thor & loki sibling feels sometimes: Starts off as Thor regales his new human shield brothers with the story of his banishment and return to Asgard ending with Loki falling into the Void and the Avengers have some questions, questions Thor had not thought of, remarks on things that Thor doesn’t know how to explain away.  After he goes to Loki’s cell and asks him some things he becomes more and more angry despite having no one he can punch > Gets drunk and criticises Sif and The Warriors Three after they try to calm him down > mention of Loki still being underage by Aesir standards during Thor 1 seeing as Thor was being crowned due to being of age in the movie > heavy inspiration drawn from queen regnant by peaceheather. “For while the Treason I detest, the Traitor I love still.” Currently just an outline.

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Separation Split personality disorder Red Hood and Jason Todd, alternatively, Red Hood is a demon/parasite latched on to Jay. A lot of work necessary considering right now it’s currently just an idea inspired by a cool tumblr fanart.

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A Trinity of Head Wounds The dcu trinity in the aftermath of a fight against some alien invaders (or something along those lines), whump, hurt/comfort, starts with them arguing, ends with them bleeding on each other in a friendship way, whole thing should take place in a single room on the watchtower and be a oneshot so it's gotta be a short and sweet one-two gut punch with the feelings which is difficuuult.

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A Stark in The Stars an mcu fic, a really over complicated mcu fic, mostly because of Steve Roger's timeline fuckery, Tony's alive but he's not supposed to be, but so are a lot of people who were dead but aren't now you might say what with the snap and the blip. The thing is that Steve's timeline fuckery is making it so that everyone keeps getting confused between the two different timelines of events, obviously more confused the more that their characters were connected to the films/the events that were altered, the punchline of this particular fic though is that Tony's still alive and he's unaware of the timeline of events where he died. And as he's currently in space he's also unaware that everyone on Earth thinks he's dead (because why wouldn't they? he died in endgame after all). That makes this fic super tough to write because like ultimate unreliable narrator right here and not sure how to tie in the whole 'oh wait actually everyone on Earth thinks I'm dead because of the canon timelines' thing in or at what point of the story to do that at. The fuckery of it all gives me a headache. Plot is hard. Also all of that's basically background to the actual focus of most of the fic thus far which is Tony travelling around space in an Iron Man suit up until the point where it won't be background.

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Magic Chained Merlin au. When you put magic restraining cuffs on Magic himself you don't just bind him you bind all magic the world over. It is therefore, infinitely lucky that Uther Pendragon never became aware of this fact.

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A Child in The Cold bnha Midoriya deserves better also Recovery Girl and Aizawa have shit to answer for as far as I'm concerned.

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